#but there are many circumstances where I just feel like I'm torturing this kid for what will be their whole very short life

[sarcasticbabywhispererjess]

A couple of the nurses on my unit are doing a study on moral distress, so at least one shift a week they’ll pass out surveys to rank how morally distressed you’re feeling and why. Monday night was one such night (when I was caring for the very sick baby in my last post). I was very busy and barely had time to sit and chart for longer than 20mins at a stretch. The nurse came up to me at the end of the shift, “George, did you get a chance to fill out your survey?” She knew full well that I hadn’t.

Me, “Sure fucking didn’t.” and I handed back the blank survey to her. She just laughed and walked away with it. 

[oldmanjenkins985]

So, I wanted to talk about something since MD Twitter in particular seems to be having some issues with a current trend in the MD fandom. That being the Panic AU by @candyasbestos (apologies in advance for the ping, just felt like maybe you'd wanna see this)

So I'd like to start right off the bat by saying anyone who is uncomfortable with this AU is completely reasonable for being that way. It's more so that uncomfortableness leading to disdain for the AU that I wanna talk about.

So, I'm a horror fan. I watch plenty of things on horror movies and play plenty of horror games. And what exactly does horror media try and do? Make the player horrified and uncomfortable. Seeing grotesque imagery which may make you wanna vomit. One of the games that comes to mind for something that's definitely meant to make people uncomfortable and not just scared is Fear & Hunger. It's a game with incredibly uncomfortable imagery, sometimes due to gore and other times due to sexual themes. And it's perfectly reasonable for that to turn people off, yet I've never seen anyone have the kind of reaction to stuff like that compared to the reactions some people have had to the Panic AU

And that's the thing with the Panic AU, it makes *N* uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with himself due to Nyx's influence on him. That is the entire point of the AU it seems. And Nyx himself seems to be some kind of representation of mental illness (pretty standard horror trope, I know). I'm not an expert in the subject despite dealing with it quite a bit so I won't name any specific mental illnesses it could be, but it's clear to me Nyx is some kind of urge of N's.

I've made plenty of characters like Nyx for my original works that are also meant to be representations of mental illness. Voices that whisper to you to do terrible things, creatures that make you feel worthless and shut down, etc. I make these not only because I find them scary but also as reflections of my own experience with mental illness. And it's that first point again that makes me question people's reactions to it.

People have said "It's grossly out of character for N" and stuff like that which...honestly that makes me think they only saw the initial wave of art and don't really know how N feels about the whole situation. But the other thing is that so many AUs have intentionally mischaracterized N because of what the AU is. And I'm not talking just swap AUs, I've seen plenty where N's character is wildly different because of the circumstances of the AU. And I see the Panic AU no different.

I also saw another comment of someone saying "We shouldn't normalize behavior like this" and again, I question whether the person has actually researched the thing they're talking about. Nyx, the thing that makes everyone uncomfortable, is very clearly the *villain* of the AU. He killed Uzi, he wants N to kill Thad, he's a horrid little creature. Are villains not meant to do things we disdain? Murder, torture, etc. It's prefectly understandable these things would make people uncomfortable, but isn't that what many villains do? There's plenty of media with torture scenes in them which make people uncomfortable, but that's the point! Hell, some kid shows have torture scenes. What about the Lich's design from Adventure Time? He's a rotting corpse! In a kid show! His design is clearly meant to make the viewer uncomfortable.

So again, while I don't think anyone is in the wrong for being uncomfortable due to the AU, I think many of the criticisms are unfair. A piece of media which is specifically designed to make people uncomfortable should not be criticized for that very reason. Avoid it all you want, that's completely reasonable! Never feel like your reasons for being uncomfortable are unwarrented. But I'm just saying that if you were to critique Silent Hill because it's themes of mental illness and character depictions made you uncomfortable, and that was a *negative*, it just seems a little weird to me.

This is all just my opinion, obviously I'm not THE definitive person on the matter. And I'm not saying anyone who has the AU blocked or anything should check it out. I'm just saying, many people seem to be judging it unfairly.

[sevenrenny]

I might as well ask you this because I enjoy your writing and way of expressing your opinions. Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy? What’s your favorite moment between the two? I know this is a very common question, but I hope you don’t mind me asking. 😅

Oh, this ought to be fun XD I don't mind at all. Send all the asks you like, I like to talk about my interests. I tend to ramble, so excuse my long texts. Gonna insert a break line so I don't torture my followers (that sentence makes it sound like I'm running a cult.)

Why do you personally ship Sonamy? What got you into Sonamy?

These two are connected, so it's fair to answer them both in one go. I'm very new to the fandom, unlike most of the people I've met who've been here for as long as they can remember. I originally had no interest in the franchise. Yeah, I played some games and watched the anime a few years back and had some cheap plastic toys from fast-food kiddie meals, but the franchise never stuck with me back then.

I got reintroduced through Sonic Prime around last year, which led to me reading the IDW comics, which is where I started getting into SonAmy. I really liked Amy in particular; surprising, seeing as she hadn't been my favorite character as a child. I liked Tails and Silver more back then, but the comic solidified Amy as my number one. In every fandom I've been in (HTTYD, MHA) I almost always gravitate toward characters who embody love, and that's the core of Amy.

Sonic was harder for me to decipher at first, seeing as he's more of a person who shows his emotions through action rather than words (in some iterations, at least.) But seeing him be more receptive in the comics and treating her better in more recent media portrayals piqued my interest because this wasn't how I remembered these two from when I was a kid. Seeing the progression from how their dynamic started to how it became made me feel proud of them.

And I'm one of those who likes to hypothesize that their affection used to be more one-sided but became mutual over time. Things change. Feelings change. People change. And I love that.

What’s your favorite moment between the two?

This. I think this is when I started seeing the ship as something I'd like. I've inserted the second panel as well because, while I know the first one is a no-brainer for some SonAmy shippers, I don't see many of them bringing up the follow-up panel.

Before this scene, Sonic kept rejecting Amy's proposal to go back to the Resistance with her (he had his reasons, as he saw investigating the circumstances of Eggman's absence and the waves of Badniks as a higher priority. Get to the snake's head to find the root of the problem.) He was in a hurry to get going. It wasn't until Amy told him she loved him for who he was and that she didn't want to change him that he stopped, got a little flustered, and proposed she come with him instead.

And she declined. She, too, had priorities.

Before this moment, it was possible he didn't see having both Amy and his stubborn way of doing things his way possible, but after, it might've finally clicked in his head that, Oh wait, I can have both? He's asked Amy to come along with him for other adventures afterward.

Also, can I just say how much I appreciate Sonic (who has a history of being touch averse) being more welcoming to her affection? Cause I do.

Okay, switching to Frontiers:

This scene is mostly quiet (I like nonverbal communication in general) and I found it too adorable to not mention. It's just for a few seconds, but the way Sonic does a little giddy skip when she waves him over, and the the fact that he just smiled so innocently the whole time he made his way over is just pure sweetness.

This short little misunderstanding/confrontation. This one's just plain fun for me. Sonic's impatience and inability to articulate his reasoning leads to him sounding like he's abandoning the Koco Amy really wants to help. She's putting the Koco before herself when Sonic's just worried about her. As soon as the misunderstanding is cleared up, Amy calms down, seeing it from his point of view now. It's a subtle little exchange, but knowing how these two used to not be great at communication in past games, and seeing them now deescalate a little misunderstanding this calmly brings me joy.

With each Koco the characters help, there's a certain theme associated between the Koco and Sonic's friends. The inventor Koco and Tails, trying to be of use to others; the soldier Kocos and Knuckles, both who had their people wiped out. For Amy, the Koco (the only Koco who goes by they/them, so that's what I'll be using for them here) is trying to reunite with their lover who had gone into battle. Throughout the game, Amy in her ghostly form can't touch anyone, and she expresses symptoms of dissociation, of feeling 'detached', that she's flying in a dream, but she wishes to just land.

Remember, Amy is a physically affectionate person, but she can't do much of anything, let alone feel anyone, in this situation. She has to leave it to her love, Sonic, to go into battles. She knows all too well how the Koco was feeling, being separated from their lover. When Amy and Sonic watch the Koco reunite with their partner for the last time, it hits Amy hard, and Sonic knows how affected she is by this. He gives her some time to grieve because he knows her well enough to understand this hit her hard. He tells her, "They're together now." And that's all that matters. And I love that scene. It's so mild compared to what others in the community might bring up, but I'm a sucker for the quieter moments like this.

I have to stop myself now before this turns into a novel lol

[poindexters-labratory]

Talk about your version of William or I will spill hallucinogenic nightmare gas all over your blog =3

OKAY, FINE, YOU FORCED MY HAND

...heheheheh. >:3

Hurricane William Afton Lore Dump Part One

!!CW Warning!!: mentions of abuse, religious trauma, religious OCD, alcohol abuse, underage drinking and drug use, and addiction

William Anise Afton was born October 10, 1947 in a wooded area of Reading, a borough in Berkshire, England, to a shit awful family. This family consisted of his father (Edward), mother (Grace), and four older siblings (two older brothers and two older sisters), making William the baby of the family. The way they were shit awful, I'm not going to get into.

He went to Catholic school until he was twelve and developed a pretty big obsession with death during primary school because of a belief that what was happening to him with his family was his fault, making him guilty of sin, therefore condemning him to Hell at the age of nine. This resulted in obsessive thoughts that had him believe that everywhere he went, he was in mortal danger and had to prepare himself to die. He was petrified of dying because he always believed he was just meant to go to Hell and be tortured even before he got older.

Psychology bit: OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) can be a wide range of obsessive thoughts combatted with a wide range of compulsive behavior. In William's case, he has obsessional intrusive thoughts about death and Hell, which leads him to stay away from situations where he could die and be tortured for eternity, which is the compulsion. He avoided streets, stairs, heights, etc. the best he could for a long time.

When he was twelve, his father took him away after he discovered the at-home circumstances were horrible for the youngest member of the family. William then moved to London with his father, and they lived in the place where Edward worked, which was a mechanic shop he supervised for the owner of a small company.

Edward Afton had always been cold and old-fashioned, he was a veteran of the second World War, Irish, and very smart. He was also a mean bastard, an alcoholic, and emotionally unavailable for his traumatized son that he called Billy (even though that was nowhere near William's name, no matter how many times he was told it was a nickname). Not to mention that William confused him, and Edward didn't like things he couldn't understand.

William had always been... different. He was a shy and quiet boy, nose always in a book, (Will's favorites being Alice in Wonderland, The Velveteen Rabbit, The Wind in the Willows, and whatever books he could find with fantastical animals involved), had stereotypically feminine interests and habits compared to his older brothers when they were growing up, and had an odd obsession with rabbits.

Edward tried for a few years to "fix" him, to make Will "more like a boy". This included getting him involved in fixing cars, which William took to quickly, and bullying him out of his habits. Seemingly.

At this point in time, William was feeling a lot of shame for his lack of masculinity, self-conscious about his appearance, teenage hormones going haywire as he wasn't developing to fit the description of what people said a man should look like, and his father seemingly hating him more every day. This drew him to a group of boys that roamed the streets of London around his father's workplace. They were tough, toxically masculine, everything William thought he was missing.

This is where we mention William has always been charming and charismatic. He's learned it from the books he's read, movies he's seen, and stories he's heard. It's how he got money, food, books, and short-term relationships out of people whenever he wanted/needed it. The people he's charmed generally liked him, even though he was a stupid kid. At fourteen, he joined the rocker group that roamed around where he lived.

For a few years, to the age of seventeen, he ran around with them, dressed like them, did what they did, and became increasingly loud, impulsive, spiteful, incredibly violent, very tall, developed his father's drinking problem, and a drug addiction (that he kept secret). He dropped out of secondary school and had no plans other than someday soon he'd curl up into a ball and die somewhere. He didn't really care if he died at that point in time, William was too exhausted to care, and he lost his belief in a god and an afterlife. All of that shit he heard in primary school was just a scary story.

Then he met Henry in spring of 1964. Henry Emily was a twenty-year-old American student attending one of the universities for an engineering degree. He was working in that mechanic shop, the same one his father supervised; a trade offer given to him by the owner who knew Henry's father when they both served in World War II. The trade was this owner would pay for Henry's schooling while Henry (who was a mechanical genius apparently) would work in this shop.

History Bit: The 1960s was regarded as the "counterculture decade" in America, and in England, "The Swinging Sixties". There were massive differences between the two countries' views on the changing world and the changing cultures between them. One of the biggest things that caused this culture shift was widespread television access, giving the younger generation access to the world around them. American society was also thrown into the Vietnam War with the draft being set in place in 1966. There were many American movements in the decade, such as civil rights, anti-war, and gay rights, all seen as a direct attack on the "American way of life". England didn't have much involvement in the Vietnam War, the new generation was trying to move past the post-war era their parents came from. This will become relevant later.

William and Henry met on the circumstances that Will was trying to steal some of his stuff. From all Will's rummaging around in his stuff, he discovered some drawings of Fredbear (at this point, just known as Fred). This seemed to snap William out of this stupor he'd been in because he also had an animal character he'd draw. A golden yellow rabbit with purple eyes, that wore a little bow and waistcoat. He just called it Bunny (generating names wasn't his strong suit).

William couldn't pass up on the opportunity to meet someone that actually liked the same things as him. So, they talked. And then talked some more. And then spent the entire day together. And then they became best friends. Henry was reserved, calm, and headstrong, able to balance out William's high energy and impulsive nature.

The two of them could talk for hours on end about their animal characters (autistic people at their finest), pretty soon associating them with the other. Animatronics just started as a joke, both of them having an appreciation for Walt Disney and his Audio-Animatronics. Then it kind of stopped being a joke when Henry started brainstorming ideas for how a giant singing bear might actually work.

History Bit: Walt Disney coined the term "Audio-Animatronic" in 1961, the first of their kind being Disney's "Enchanted Tiki Birds" debuting in the Disneyland Resort, June 23, 1963.

Throughout the year, they became closer, and William started to feel more and more like a person living a life instead of going through the motions to survive. His mental health started to get better and he was slowly starting to express himself in the ways that he wanted to. He broke away from the rocker subculture and gained some social independence, doing what he really enjoyed doing, which was talking to Henry about Fred and Bonnie (Bunny renamed), reading on everything to help them on their journey to making a giant animatronic, drawing the two characters together, being Henry's best friend, and he was very happy.

Henry invited William to come back to his hometown in Utah (which William had never even heard of) and their goal became getting him across the Atlantic, slowly working off of his addictions and dependences. They were talking about owning a restaurant now with Fred and Bonnie as entertainment, everything was going to be perfect. But then there was a wrench in that plan.

William got mixed up with an upper-class girl slightly older than him, nineteen-year-old Claire-Marie Schmidt. He got her pregnant and neither of them wanted to abort the pregnancy and William didn't want to leave her to deal with this by herself because this was his fault, so Claire hung around to the displeasure of Henry.

Henry is just like William in a lot of ways. First of all, he gets jealous easily and second of all, he's lonely. All of William's attention seemed to get taken away by Claire and this unborn baby, and he felt abandoned. Not to mention that William and this girl had to get married per traditional values of Claire's father which they both respected. The baby was due in July and Henry was graduating in May, leaving soon after that. William could only pick one or the other. And he chose his wife. It was a painful and bitter goodbye at the airport, and William had to watch his one friend leave, not sure if he'd ever see or hear from him again.

He saw him again after about three minutes.

Henry cancelled his flight last second because he couldn't make a huge mistake like this. They made plans for all three of them to fly to Utah and that summer they did.

As soon as Claire got to close her eyes in the bed within the Emily ranch house, the contractions started, and Michael John Edward Afton was born a few weeks early in that room. When William laid eyes on Michael for the first time, something changed. Nothing else mattered more than who was in his arms right now, he loved nothing more. Of course, William got huffy when they had to give Michael back to Claire.

William and Claire had an interesting relationship. They didn't love each other like a married couple would, they were very good friends if anything. They confided in each other, told each other their problems, but William was a gay man and Claire knew this, and had no issue with it. They loved each other as good friends, they weren't romantically or sexually inclined to the other, so they formed an agreement that she could do what she wanted, and he could do what he wanted. And it worked for a while.

Part 2 ->

[pico-digital-studios]

Into, Across and Beyond! Scripting: Christmas Journal Entry

Lone Guardian Journal entry #50

"It's been quite the year we had, huh? All sorts of stuff has come and gone, all the crazy adventures, all the rough stuff happening in Earth-0... it's all led up to this major point in the traditional calendar.

Yes, I'm talking about Christmas. It's celebrated in quite a lot of ways both on Earths and throughout the multiverse. Some look forward to seeing the decorations around towns, some are looking forward to the presents that'll show up underneath the tree, and some simply enjoy the opportunity to spend time with family and friends where they couldn't otherwise.

And the celebrations vary on beliefs, too. Around this time of the year, Christians celebrate the coming of Jesus Christ on Christmas night many years ago, and even then, the holiday can still be enjoyed by those whose beliefs have been slighted a bit or if they don't believe in a God at all. And even between hemispheres on Earths, the season can vary. The Northern Hemisphere get it in chilly winter, while the Southern Hemisphere get it in a hot summer.

And naturally, with the seasons come differences in the activities partaken over the Christmas season and into the following two months. Those enjoying winter usually find themselves making snowmen, snow angels, having snowball fights... pretty much anything like that if the snow is deep enough. Heh, I can tell kids would be excited if the snow means they have to have a day off of school. While those basking in summer usually get stuff like beach days and ways to keep cool as the sun looms overhead.

Of course, I really can't say that for everybody. Several people remain unable to celebrate Christmas for a variety of reasons; homelessness, poverty, war, or even loneliness. I feel sorry for all those people. And I know some really don't want to celebrate Christmas at all for differing reasons. As much as it's hard to admit, I know you can't just change their minds just like that. It'd be a miracle before something like what Ebenezer Scrooge went through occurs to turn those frowns upside-down. I simply pray that a miracle can happen for those still suffering, even in a festive time like this...

As for me, though...

(Background assets by DanielMania123)

I traditionally celebrate my Christmases here, in a location between realms known as the OMEGA Universe. You can think of it as the Omega Timeline, but having been expanded by the amount of residents that have moved here for various reasons; escaping failed timelines, seeking refuge after a universe got destroyed, or even just passing through. As you can see, I'm in the urban side of the place, while the UT/DR bunch are still in their rural area as per normal.

Originally, this place was simply around various AUs of tales of monsters under Mt. Ebott, though it's since expanded into the booming utopia it is today. It's not always easy with circumstances like injuries or recovering from whatever happened in the past, but those helping run the place are always happy to help try and make people happy again, however they can.

And, to be honest, I can relate to their struggles. I came from a failed timeline myself, and the scars I suffered from what felt like eternal torture still haven't fully gone away, but I'm still hanging in there, finding reasons to keep on living. Whether through enjoying doing the right thing, seeing the sights of the multiverse, or spending time with my own found families.

It's a little strange to think about, but in a way, the OMEGA Universe has pretty much become a second home for me thanks to the amount of times I've been there. It's honestly a great place to relax whenever I need a break from travelling the multiverse via my base; plus, said base's energy isn't infinite, so it works as a recharge point for its fuel supply. Having lived on the edge for much of my life after abandoning my original timeline, it's a lovely change of pace to be in a completely welcoming community like that one.

That, and the royal family there. That universe's counterparts of Sonic and Lilac are really lovely to be around. I'm always welcome at the castle at any point, and I even got to prepare names for their kids in advance for their start in life. And considering my new boyfriend, Cody (formerly dubbed "Counterstrike"), got adopted into the family after I got him out of his old dimension, it makes being around them all the more sweeter!

The place really encapsulates a future I really want to see happen in Earth-0; a world where conflict, war and negativity are gone, and all men, women and everyone in between can be together in a thriving community. Those without homes would be given safe places to live, bad dictators would be a thing of the past, criminals and those trying to instigate wars or genocide would be given the punishments they deserve, and discrimination would be stopped entirely. I just wish that really could be reality, though, but a guy can dream.

While the life of a traveller often calls me, it's always sweet to relax in the OMEGA Universe whenever my current tasks are all done. And it's part of what keeps me going each time, and why I can get back up no matter how much I get knocked down! CORE, Poppy, Sonic, Lilac, Nerila, Cody... I can't thank you all enough for the support you've shared over my long journey. Even from up here as I'm writing this entry in my journal, I wanted to wish you all a very merry Christmas, and as happy a new year as we can get!"

Lone Guardian Nitro

Merry Christmas this 2024, and a happy New Year for 2025! Let's push for a brighter and more positive future together!

[listening505]

nightcall | james hetfield

part7: "there's something inside you, it's hard to explain"

other parts

a/n: im sorry the more I translate the more I understand how cringe this is I was 15 or something when I wrote this

Oh, James, it was like you had a hot iron in your hand and you were just playing with my heart.

~

For several months, our relationship had reached such a point that neither of us could predict where it would end. We were just getting on with this thing. We were together. At least physically we were, but it was in front of our eyes that our minds and souls had long abandoned each other.

We opened our cards, James. Mine were not a surprise; you already knew that I was desperately in love with you and that my doors were always open to you, no matter what the circumstances. But you were full of surprises for me. You always have been, darling. You always used to surprise me and tell me how cute you found that funny expression on my face got. Time was passing, but some things never changed, and these surprises of yours were one of them. You left my mouth wide open in amazement again, James, but this time you didn't have very good news.

It was really surprising for me to find out that you started a regular relationship with one of those women you sleep with. Right after I saw a second cell phone you were using and all those conversations in it, I felt like the world was falling on me. I'm not kidding. The whole earth and heaven, even as God is my witness, I felt all that pain to the very depths of my body.

I could have accepted anything; I even accepted that you were with other women, but how could I allow you to share the love you feel for me with another woman? How would my poor mind cope with this? No, it couldn't.

I was losing my mind, James.

I'm wondering, why didn't you just take a gun and put it to my head and save me from all this torture? It wouldn't even matter, because I don't feel like I've been alive for a long time anyway. Every breath I take is from a barbed wire piercing my throat; every day I live is no more than twenty-four hours that I spend trying to reach the end as soon as possible.

I think I'll never forget it, James, you made dinner for us that night. We were chatting and laughing, taking sips in a hurry as if we were racing to finish the bottle of wine in front of us. That evening our heads flew so high that we almost felt like in the old days. I almost thought that you loved me unconditionally again, that you loved only, only me. What a childish, what desperate phrase, isn't it ?

When you turned on the radio after dinner and asked me to dance, and only five minutes later we found ourselves on the couch laughing, I wanted to die because in the morning all the colors would fade away, and the dark days would line up again to beat us. If I had died there at that moment, James... I wish God had taken pity on me a little at that moment and I wouldn't have been able to witness the sunrise the next day.Time was flowing fast like the wine down our throats, James. But it seemed as if everything was in a hurry that night, more than usual. Could we have gone back to those crazy days when we were eighteen? Because you know, how many mistakes we made when we were eighteen. How much trouble we've been in.

We went back to being eighteen that night and we made a huge mistake.

[avaelangel]

Red

Summary: Elsa Bloodstone comes around Jack Russell again under peculiar circumstances.

Warnings: probably OOC at some capacity. This thing turned into something unexpected for me. I'm also not a native English Speaker.

Word count: almost 4k.

The Bloodstone Manor stood strong for centuries. Countless trophies kept their silence of the blood spilt, leaving a fleeting reminder of the times passed. What is left to walk there, walked alone. Well, almost.

Elsa lost interest in the idea of keeping her childhood home at least clean. She wanted to relieve the butler and scare away the remainder of stuff that lurked around, hoping that Verussa would come back. The abode of her life's torture was all hers for destroying. It held a lot of valuable books and artifacts. Throughout her first walkthrough, Elsa thought about returning some of it. Bestiary should be enough for a hunter. Bestiary and a Bloodstone, of course.

Weeks stretched out for ages. Elsa stayed at the Manor less and less, taking time to pay her debts and return favors. She wasn't ready to receive guests. She wasn't ready to settle down in a place where she could hear slaps and hits she got as a kid. It wasn't that many, to be fair. But it was more than enough. Cleaning out what was left of her step-mother and father, she fondly thought of a certain green monster. If only he had an address to receive a thank you card.

A plan to pop in to London for a few days failed miserably. Elsa sat in the library, quietly seething. Why now, of all times? Just a small vacation with no threats, curiosity or ''Mistress, do you need anything?''.

'Mistress, may I enter?’ Billy barely opened one of the massive doors. A gust of wind could knock him to the ground, let alone the swing of that door.

'Do come in, mate,' said Elsa. She didn't look at him right away, because she didn't like how he flinched every time.

'I believe this concerns you,' butler presented an envelope like it was a newborn of some rare kind. Before Elsa noticed that the envelope was already opened, the messenger disappeared.

Envelope with no wax seal or any distinct marks held an invitation. Hard, expensive paper showed an address, coordinates to be precise. But there was too much space around small letters. Elsa looked around the library and inhaled deeply. Took a moment and inhaled closer to the paper. Instead of an appropriate smell of pretentious luxurious stationery, she smelled a faint trace of iron. Battle of laziness and curiosity was quick. Elsa got up to find herself a blacklight.

There are a lot of things worse than pretentions anonymity, but demands to dress formally for a masquerade ball written in blood were a lot to take in. Elsa felt a headache coming up. She shined blacklight on every side of the paper, coming across a small bat rounded by a snake symbol. The invitation wasn't addressed specifically to her, but it's not that hard to guess where Bloodstone Manor could be. Ulysses was loud about his glory sometimes. Was there a mailman? Elsa didn't feel like looking for Billy and asking. With all this mystery, he might as well be a spy. That could be interesting.

'By God,' Elsa thought, 'I need to find a dress'.

It's not that she didn't own one. She didn't hold on to many clothes at all. New chapter and all that. Maybe she'll get a spare for her jacket as well. Just in case.

Walking through tunnels painted with golds and reds during the day felt, frankly, stupid. The guide in a white cat mask didn't say anything, barely looked at the invite, and just started walking. Elsa was silent too, thinking that revealing her accent might be compromising. Every step she took reminded her how truly out of place she was. Memories of ceremonies and unnecessary showings of power in the form of hunter gatherings flooded her mind. Elsa cursed herself for an untimely remembrance attack. It's not that time for feeling anxiously nostalgic.

Floor-length gowns weren't the bane of Elsa's existence, but even with appropriate modifications they were unusual. Corset isn't a torture device; it is a light exercise in being creative with movement of your body in specific situation. But the more Elsa walked behind the masked guide, the more she started to doubt her choice of attire. Maybe, off the shoulder wasn't the move here. Red color too. A tad too much of open skin and signaling.

The main hall wasn't massive, but it wasn't the end of the tunnel either. People in tuxedos and gowns were slowly filling the space from all four sides. Here and there stood buffet tables, ruining the feel of a medieval gathering space. Elsa felt uneasy. Her guide vanished fast enough. Every third person tried to seek out her eyes in the mask. This whole thing seemed as ridiculous as it could be dangerous. Why is she here?

Elsa took it upon herself to explore. Others were moving around freely, not really stopping to talk to each other. Bits of conversation she managed to catch were low and unintelligible, some were in Spanish and maybe, French. The last thing Elsa wanted to do now was eat, but hovering beside a table gave her something. Wide plates served mostly raw meat and fruit. Chalices lined the outer edge of the table. Elsa wasn't much of a wine drinker and when she took a sip, her opinion solidified. Wine was mixed with blood.

Bloody hell.

Muttering to herself angrily, Elsa turned around and caught a glimpse of a person coming out of a heavy door. She had to move fast; otherwise she might not be able to open that door. The only passageway that didn't let people in. Managed to only bump into somebody ones - blabbed something in Gaelic for an apology - stop the door from closing with the point of her show. A brave move, because if the door was in full swing, she could say goodbye to at least one of her toes. But Elsa succeeded and plunged herself into semi-darkness.

It's good for a start. Bare necessities strapped to her thigh and hidden in the lining of her dress, hopefully, could protect her long enough. Lipstick-sized flashlights did just enough to illuminate the inner parts of that peculiar place. To Elsa's horror, it reminded her of backstage of a circus. Drawers with props, heavy curtains, chains. Absolutely stupid. Is it a meeting of worldly perverts?

Something moved heavily in the dark. A covered cage shook and then groaned. Elsa will never admit that it took a lot for her not to jump.

Elsa kneeled very close to the cage, against her better judgment. She shined the light, slowly lifting the fabric, but in a one swift move something inside reached towards her face, its wide eyes reflecting light. Now, due to a shameful kick from autopilot, Elsa did flinch away.

All was silent for a moment.

'Elsa?'

The sound of his voice made her stomach drop. That's why she is here.

'Jack?' She inched closer, not shining her flashlight at him, just keeping it slightly to the side. Jack kept his eyes down for a moment, before looking at her mask. Elsa noticed and quickly pulled it up.

'Almost like last time, huh?' His smile was sincere, but tore open a wound on his lower lip. Jack didn't wince. Most of all, he looked tired.

'What the hell is happening? ‘Elsa mostly needed to say it out loud,' how long have you been here?'

'Couple of days. They chased me for a week. Some kind of…initiation sacrifice. Ho-how did you get here?' A hint of suspicion in his tone stung.

'Got a bloody invite. Have they seen your face?' The plan was brewing in her mind. Honestly, she couldn't imagine someone capturing Jack in werewolf form.

'I don't..'

'Can you walk?'

'Yes.' He might have been lying, but…

'We don't have much time.'

How fast she slipped out a knife from its sheath was admirable. Elsa passed the weapon through metal bars, brushing fingers with Jack. They exchanged a glance, as in saying two different things. A ''thank you'' and a ''I'm not leaving you here''. Then, Elsa returned to the party.

Jack was left there, again. But now he has a concrete hope that all isn't lost. At his age he should know better about so many things. Relying on a generational hunter did him some good eight months ago. He hoped their next interaction, if there was to be one, would be less bloody and surrounded by bodies. Maybe, Ted was right. Jack needs the most saving out of the two.

Those eight months were as simple as any other. Until they weren't. Jack went to gather supplies in the midst of researching werewolf whereabouts. He steered clear from his kind for a while, but he thought he heard an emergency call. Ted didn't like that. At the very least, the trap lead Jack away from Ted's compound. Jack let out a heavy sigh, his bare back strained against metal bars. He was so tired. Now that Elsa was here, he felt himself slowly drifting away.

It's not the time for a nap.

A body fell close to the cage. Some profoundly British curses were breathed into the stuffy air. In a swift moment a massive lock fell to the floor, the cage flung open and finally, Jack stretched to his full height. He briefly wondered if Elsa heard his back crack. If she did, she didn't show it. Handed him a suit, a cloak and a mask. Her face in the dim light held a stern expression.

'It's not the situation I imagined for me being naked in front of you'

That stupid joke made Elsa smile.

The plan was simple. Get out without drawing attention. And in the worst case scenario, they would be triggering a massacre. Elsa felt uneasy about making Jack turn. Not out of fear, but out of sheer humanity. The idea was visible in his eyes, though. But for now, they have tunnels within the tunnels and each other’s company. If people get in from different places, there should be more ways out.

They moved in silence without proclaiming the need for it. Jack bowed his head, listening for footsteps and foreign conversations. Elsa glances at him every time, only registering where he was in the darkness. After all, he was the one dressed as one of the guides and she would be the one who needed to hide. But everything was silent. What kind of gathering is this? Doesn't seem evil, though it certainly is. Is the silent villain the worst kind of villain? It might be. More boring to fight.

Suddenly, Jack grasped on Elsa's forearm, stopping her from going forward. One look and she killed her flashlight in a second. Holding their breath, they stood on the corner, while someone passed them.

'He went to the dead end. I smell rot there,' whispered Jack, still holding on to her.

"We need to get out," words about calling reinforcements didn't come out, Elsa felt uncomfortably uneasy. There were people she could call, but everything seemed like a bad dream. Outnumbered, barely armed and the best shot at surviving comes with a moral dilemma. Elsa wasn't afraid of blood or being the sole survivor, but you can be a witness to a blood bath only so many times.

Get over yourself, Bloodstone.

Jack was silent for a while. His mind was racing along Elsa's. Memory of his capture was fuzzy and kept changing, like sunlight going through different parts of colored glass. Depends on where you look. For the life of him, he couldn't remember where he last saw Ted. Why did his chest feel so heavy? Jack suddenly realized how hard he was squeezing Elsa's hand.

'Come,' he muttered after a soft ''sorry''.

The door they found led to a room. Adorned with gold and black silk, the room seemed to be a take on a Victorian drawing room or - like Elsa thought - some kind of kinky private chamber. Weapons on the walls were older than anything else, empty spots not as prominent from the first glance. Furniture was seemingly authentic to the eighteenth century; maybe, it has been here since that time. The absence of some bloody paintings made the space feel unfinished.

'You do have the stone on you?' Jack managed to ask, while putting his ear to the door at the other side of the kinky boudoir. Question made Elsa frown.

'I'm not doing that. We are coming out alive and human-looking,' the tone of her voice was disarmingly calm. She gave him a reassuring wink and turned away to shift through fancy boxes.

'And we'll call for help. We can't leave it all here,' said Jack, while Elsa took out small throwing knives and the dagger. She raised her loot, letting Jack choose.

'Little guys please,' he thought that with those he could emulate claws. A version of events where there was no blood spilt was turning out to be not only too hopeful, but naive.

Come on, Jack. We haven't been discovered yet.

He didn't know whenever Elsa said it out loud or he managed to think in her voice. But why would he do that, if she was right beside him?

'Ready?' Elsa lowered her intricate mask that imitated frost patterns that the dead of winter paints on windows.

'Let's get out,' Jack lowered his own. A rabbit mask. He wanted to make a joke about the irony of it. Not only guides here are seemingly a reference to Alice in Wonderland. But he, a wolf, wears a mask of his stereotypical prey. He was so tired, he didn't notice Elsa coming up to him and fixing the hood of his cloak.

'We both have been through worse,' in a quieter voice she tried reassuring him. She was right. But this time felt heavier than it should be. Jack's normally sharp eyesight got fuzzy for a second, but he shook it off.

The other door hid them from the party for enough time. Linked at the hands, the monster and the hunter faced a now crowded hall. Chattering of bland, almost static-like voices, filled every inch of Jack's mind. He felt the urge to look at Elsa, but the muscles of his neck froze. Only his heightened senses caught the slightest indication of Bloodstone still being there. The essence of her touch started fading with every step they took.

Nobody looked at them, which somehow made everything worse. People made as little space as possible to let them pass, scraping shoulders and letting their feet be stepped on. Jack wanted to hear Elsa's input more and more. He needed reassurance even if she laughed at him or scolded him to go faster. But a hard tug on his hand made him turn around and face the fire.

The forest burned in confusing silence. He could swear he remembered the screaming. But there was only fire. Ravenous and deadly, the fire engulfed hundred-years-old trees, breaking branches and ruining the earth below forever. Soon it will reach Jack too and honestly, deep down, he hoped it would. He deserved suffering more for what he caused.

'Jack!'

Wind blew out the fire, momentarily drowning Jack in darkness.

He found her in a cage. Now there wasn't a flashlight, but a torch. Chill of the night's air was softly biting any inch of exposed skin. Jack wore a suit and Elsa was dressed exactly like the night they first met, but her red leather jacket was slashed. The Bloodstone was fashioned to her neck in a crude manner. Elsa looked at him, perplexed and very clearly aware that moments ago they weren't in the forest. She wasn't the one held captive.

'It's not real', Elsa breathed out.

Jack didn't answer, piecing things together. Before he could do anything, let alone ask Elsa for advice, he heard booming and growing march of several people. Somewhere, not far enough from here, someone was walking in ritualistic formation. Fear crawled into Jack's slightly agape mouth like a spider. He couldn't help Elsa not to face the same horrors he did. She had enough of her own.

'Jack, look at me,'

He did. Bloodstone was too heavy for Elsa to keep her head held upright, but she still tried. She stood close to the bars, holding onto them with both hands. Jack could barely think while seeing her in pain.

'Burn the forest,'

Shadow-like shapes were coming closer, not carrying anything to light their path with.

'Then grab my hand and the Bloodstone. Look at me!' He did, remembering being on the other side and also being in the cage together. Sanity stopped catching up to him. Arrow flew past Elsa's head. Hooded figures gained definition amongst the trees. Another arrow pierced Elsa's thigh, but she didn't go down to still allow her plan to work.

Jack raised the torch to tree branches that caught fire within a second. Once again he was killing things that should have outlived him. Now guilt felt dull and almost unreasonable. One last punch of pain is going to be nothing new. He grasped Elsa's hand and jammed his fingers between her skin and the Bloodstone.

The world ran red.

First, there was a groan. After that, a curse.

'Fuck,'

It took effort to open his eyes. Old rug he landed on smelled of bleach and despair. His head barely missed the bed-side table. Headache was there anyways.

'Sorry, love, I prefer to do that in cleaner places,'

Jack raised himself on his hands, slowly rising from behind and old bed. Elsa looked back at him from the same position. Bloodstone laid there on the flower-covered sheets.

On the other side of what once was a motel “lovers suit”  blossomed a giant flower. Blossomed at some point, but now it withered with each passing second, before the couple's eyes.  They exchanged glances again. Soft buzz of magic made their skin crawl.

Bar - or a pub, didn't really matter - was crowded, but only in one corner. The party wasn't secretive, they played pool and talked, but stayed cuddled together like longtime friends. Looking around, pool players could say the same thing about Elsa and Jack, who hid themselves in a secluded booth and nursed a bottle of scotch together.

'So,' Elsa started after a long silence, 'A spell'

'Apparently, yes. A spell that can travel and grow and put people to sleep until its goal is reached,' Jack shuddered. He never wanted to sleep again, but he still was tired.

'I want to say now I have seen everything, but I doubt it -'

'I'm so sorry, Elsa. You got found out because of me and who knows what could have happened if you used the Bloodstone on me,' his interruption was sincere and Elsa could even retort back with a small bit of sarcasm.

'I don't care, ' she was as sincere as ever, 'let them. Whatever they are. They can find me and get their faces broken into after a dozen weird, contorted dreams,' a raised glass coincided with someone winning in the back. Jack sighed and raised his too.

They both took a big sip. Scotch burned like for the first time, but Jack did his best not to flinch. Elsa did her best not to notice. For some reason she expected him to be a better drinker, but she would gladly take that title for herself.

'I am thankful you tried to save me,' Her smile encouraged him, 'what would your father say?' He asked, in a clear attempt to switch conversation onto a different gear.

'He would say 'That dog is not your boyfriend!''. And many things more,' Elsa laughed, feeling warmer all around.

'And what would you say to that?'

'We'll see,' a shrug and a glance from behind the glass, 'What would your father say?'

Jack looked away, barely grasping on memories of his past. Disconnected from his childhood for so long, he kept searching for the pain inside, which was barely there. But he still remembered most of it. Someday, he would like to share his stories with someone who wasn't Tedd.

'He would remind me that I should be thankful. And many things more, ' He didn't need to add anything else. Elsa nodded and finished her glass.

Obviously, they would have to go their separate ways at some point. What brought them here was a pure lie - no pack of werewolves or any supernatural thing came through a small fishing town - but it gave them a moment to talk. To drink, mostly. Such deep sleep usually leaves the mind raw and shaken. Dreams are too weird, but still real and often hurtful. The absence of logic makes you mad.

But Jack looked so good, slightly flustered and blushing. Out of everything he saw in his life, Elsa's spell was the strongest. Nobody could call him a dog in such a way. And Elsa, she truly enjoyed Jack's company and even in her mind she didn't add ''weirdly'' before ''enjoy''. It wasn't a disgraceful gratitude she felt towards him, it was…certainly something. No definition was needed, yet.

They moved through the night, stepping onto empty pier, their steps on the wood echoing softly.

'Promise me, though,' Elsa said mid-phrase, while receiving the bottle back from Jack.

'You will help me to get Tedd some kind of a gift basket,' Jack knew what she meant and snorted in response. That made Elsa laugh, too.

'Sure thing. He'll go for sushi or some fruit,' Elsa's glance made Jack look away.

'To a true friend. Thank you for killing my step-mother,' she snort-laughed and the sound was a little too high not to be hysterical. Elsa stretched her hand to feel cold metal of the railing. Jack immediately thought about her falling over, but didn't say anything and just came closer.

'We did kill a lot of your people.'

'They weren't my people. The guard would have never served me the way they serve my father. Hunters aren't…Those hunters weren't good people.'

'Are we good people?'

Drunken glint in their eyes died down a bit, now coals of forest fire gave away their last sparks.

'We try,' Elsa swallowed, 'most of the time, that's what matters,' she returned Jack's soft smile.

When the sun came out, no locals saw two weirdos walking around with a bottle of scotch. Nobody knew that it was their second one and there might have been a third one. General goal was to ease the tension in their heads and deal with the reality of sleeping for almost a week. Luckily (as Jack thought), they didn't recall other scenarios. Spending a few days in the same bed, not being under attack…Sounds like a small case of flu.

Jack dozed off in the car, not before asking Elsa to outright hit him if he starts talking or fidgeting. She only promised to hit him, without any details, but she did it with a smile. In her head, she tried to think of a place it would be best to sleep after all this. It was hard to come to any conclusion. Since leaving home, Elsa forbade herself from getting used to a place or to people. She knew she wanted to, though. She made peace with that.

Jack yelped in his sleep and Elsa hit him on the thigh. He jerked awake, looking around and when there was no threat (beside a friendly one), and he straightened in his seat.

'You mind turning on the radio?'

Turns out, the radio in this car works. A weird pair of travelers would surely work something out, too.

[viktoria-sob]

P.S. please, pretend that you don't see my mistakes😂

Okay, i want to thank @lovely-menza for tagging me in this, although i'm not really much into all these games, but today (1 am already) the exception, cause I want to distract myself from this annoying study at least for a while. Okay, let's start.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Well, I was named after my paternal grandmother (well, that's what my parents told me). And although i didn't know her much, because she died in 2016, when i was like 9 y.o., and i saw her last time when i was a child, i know she was a very kind and wise woman.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Last night 💀. Ye...cool

3. Do you have kids?

I'm 15 lol. But in future, no, i don't want still

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

Well, i think so. In my opinion, my friends will say opposite thing, but i guess, yes, i'm a sarcastic person

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Well, idk really. But ig it's the way they talk, look like (i mean their appearance), attitude towards other people, friends who surround them

6. What's your eye colour?

Brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

I prefer scary movies more than happy endings

8. Any special talent?

Annoy people, although they tell me, i'm not annoying 💀. I'm just overthinker, sorry

9. Where were you born?

Ukraine 🇺🇦. Very beautiful country!

10. Hobbies

Well, i had a hobby, ye. Play the guitar. But now i don't play much because of school and studies. I have drawn in the past, although it was rare and I don't see it as a hobby. Maybe, my hobby is listening to music, discover some new live performances (one person helps me with that, and i so appreciate that. Althought he won't see that, because he hasn't Tumblr, but yeah). But listening to music, well, i'm addicted to music. It's like my drugs. I'm in my headphones 24/7, and i'm trying to listening rock music everywhere and under any circumstances. To sum up, ig i'd have an actual hobby if u had more spare time.

11. Have you any pets?

Yes, i do! I have a cat named Baghira (like the panther from the Jungle Book). Alsoni had a dog, but he died long time ago, when i was a child. I cried a lot when i learned that he had died. He was a friend to me, when i was a little. But i git used to it, and now we have just the photos and memories with him. Rest In Peace, my friend

12. Sports you play/have played

Hm, i just like volleyball, badminton, tennis, football (can't play) too much! but I can't develop the skills to play because I don't have many friends, and if I do, they wouldn't play these games with me

13. Height

176 cm (idk, i want to be taller. I'm weird, i know)

14. Favourite school subject

Ha, nice question actually. if we had normal teachers, I would have liked more subjects, but they spoiled my whole attitude towards it. Well, i can say Algebra, Physics (it's tough sometimes, but it's okay. Life isn't easy), i started like Chemistry, we just have a new teacher, and we started LEARN Chemistry, actually learn (although again, this subject is tough a bit, but my friend judt helps me with that a bit, so i understand it) and PE (idk why no one almost likes PE, it's a nice subject)

15. Dream job

Word "job" is killing me already 😂. Because when your parents torture you with questions "what your future job will be?", "look, other your friends and cousins win the school olympiads, what about you?" and i feel like i'm nothing for them. Well, okay then. So...i just want to find a normal, interesting job for me, with 9-5 working hours, and that i can spend also enough time with my future pet and family

Well, thank you for that opportunity talk out 😂. I'm tagging @apparentlyfivebelievers @thespiritofvexation @milkyway-ashes @gomme-savon @dschhh @esusul @creamenthusiast @cinetherat @beardedrainbow @jonesyjonesyjonesy @childoftheriver @alexlifeless @ritchie-is-my-darling @youre-no-good @pageys-tea @rock-aesthetic-y and anyone who wants to join too! Well, you can ignore it, okay :). Many of these people i tagged don't know me, i'm just following them :). Have a nice day/night!

[bustyasianbeautiespod]

Episode 107 Transcript: Supernatural - We Will Find A Way

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, it's Grey.

C: Hello, it's Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, a Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show many, many times...

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: Both Asian! For today's episode, we are discussing Season 6, Episode 3: "The Third Man," written by Ben Edlund [C: Boo.] and directed by Robert Singer. This episode is horrible! [laughs] No, this episode is very racist. [C: Yeah.] Yeah. Last episode, Crystal was like, "I think Cas is like, racist next episode." And I was like, "Hmm. I wonder what that means." And then I watched this episode, and as every single piece slowly fell into place like a Tetris game, [C laughs] I was like, "Oh, no!" [laughs] This episode is egregiously racist! Ben Edlund, I'll kill you! [C laughs] Sorry. I probably shouldn't say stuff like that, again, because of everything.

C: In case he dies of suspicious circumstances?

G: Yeah. And they track down this episode.

C: You'll have an alibi. You'll be out of the country.

G: I will have never stepped foot to the United States. But what if he dies during a vacation to the Philippines, Crystal? Let's consider all of our fucking situations.

C: When Ben Edlund goes to the Philippines, I'll buy you a plane ticket to come to the US to visit me. [G laughs]

G: Yeah, we have to plan it very early on because the visa applications is going to be one hell of a thing. Like, they'll interview me, and I'll go, "Oh, it's because Ben Edlund is going to the Philippines, [C laughs] and I'm afraid that people will think I'll kill him if he dies here." And they'd be like, "What the fuck?"

C: Yeah, or they'll be like, "I completely understand. I hate that guy, too. Go to the US."

G: No, but he's always going to have the benefit of the doubt for being a US citizen! [C: Mm. True.] Unfortunate. [C: Unfortunate.] Well, he's extending his repertoire this episode from good old-fashioned misogyny to good old-fashioned racism. [both laugh]

C: What's neo-racism?

G: I think- You know what? I think all of it is good old-fashioned. They haven't invented new ones. They're just repurposing old ones over and over again.

C: Yeah, that seems to be the case.

G: Yeah, so that's kind of our content warning for this episode. There's going to be discussions of police brutality, but also specifically discussions of how Supernatural used this storyline in ways that are completely insensitive and also egregious. [C: Yeah.] And also specifically, it's like, antiblack racism, just to be clear. [C: Yeah.] What did you know about this episode before going in, by the way?

C: I knew about the shot where Cas falls out of a window [G: Of course.] onto Sam's car while fighting an angel because it's in the-

G: While biting?

C: While fighting an angel. [laughs]

G: Ah, okay. Well, he should have bit him. Yeah.

C: Because it's in the Cas "What the Hell" AMV.

G: Of course. [C: Of course.] I do love that shot so much when like, it goes down, like, the camera's above, and then it it pulls back up to be behind Sam and Dean. It's pretty fun!

C: Yeah. They paid a lot of money to make that shot happen, I feel.

G: Yeah. Do you think it's more or less money than the crane shot with Cas in Season 4, "When the Levee Breaks"?

C: Probably more. [G: Probably more.] I don't know how showbiz works. Somebody let us know. [both] Robert Singer- [laughs]

G: No, yeah. That was a Robert Singer episode, yeah.

C: - if you're listening to this, let us know.

G: There was a reverse Robert Singer zoom this episode, and I did find it incredibly amusing. When Cas would transfer places [C: True.], the one specifically where he kidnaps that kid and takes his body to the motel room to torture. Dean is like, "Wait, why are you taking that kid?" And Cas goes, "Portability." And then it's like so close to his face, and then it zooms out, and they're back in the motel. Yeah. [C: Yeah.] So Robert Singer’s playing with his stuff. Good for him.

C: Yeah. Good for him. And then the other thing is that there's a young Black kid who- I thought he got possessed by an angel, but no, he was just spoken to by an angel, and I knew that Cas would leave him somewhere for the cops to find in a way that would not be pleasant for this child.

G: Yeah. Have you- what do you know about Balthazar? I did not expect that he was gonna be here. I knew the moment they mentioned the staff of Moses, but like, here, before watching the episode, I didn't know he was gonna be here already. I didn't know he comes in that early.

C: Well, he's Cas's ex-boyfriend in a lot of human AUs. [laughs]

G: Yeah. That's true.

C: I knew that he was British. I knew that he would be the one who sends them to the show in "The French Mistake" and that, at some point, Cas is gonna say that someone has an oak tree up their ass and "bite me," and that he learned that from his friend, and that friend was Balthazar.

G: Yeah, this is true. I don't like Balthazar. I don't like his British accent. I'm Anglophobic.

C: What about Crowley?

G: Well, I love Crowley, so, you know, he transcends that. [C: Mm-hm.] And he hates Celine Dion? Fuck that guy. Those are all my- I always forget that his name is Balthazar. The actor's name is Sebastian Roche, and I always think that Balthazar's name is Sebastian.

C: He does look like a Sebastian.

G: He does look like a Sebastian. Is he actually British? Did I just insult his real accent? Probably.

C: Oh, probably. Like, why would they make him put on a fake British accent? [both laugh] Wait, he's French-American?

G: He's French American?

C: [laughing] Why did they make him put on a fake British accent? [both laughing]

G: Does he have a fake British accent, or does he have a French-American accent?

C: Does he have a different accent that I don't know? [G: I don't know.] "Balthazar Supernatural..." maybe I just completely forgot! Somebody says he has a Scottish-French accent. Is that true?

G: Does the Scottish-French accent just go directly to British? Is that what the result of those two accents is?

C: IMDb says he's Scottish-French, but Wikipedia says he's American-French. Maybe this is his real accent.

G: Yeah, probably. It is a possibility.

C: Sorry.

G: Sorry, Sebastian. I also have to try very hard to not call your character Sebastian for this entire season, probably.

C: I don't think I was paying enough attention when he spoke to remember what his accent was. I'm sorry to all the people of Scotland for calling that accent British unless it sounded British, in which case I'm not sorry.

G: Yeah. Should we stop making fun of people's accents, just like Supernatural does and then also did with that German guy? [C laughs]

C: Yeah, I guess.

G: There's a possibility that we should, yeah. Unfortunate. I love doing it!

C: Who else have we made fun of the accent of? [both laugh]

G: [laughs] Sorry! I think at some point, we called for racism against Irish people by making fun of their accent.

C: [laughs] Yeah, I did call for hibernophobia. [G: Yeah.] [laughing] I'm gonna renounce my formerly hibernophobic ways.

G: Yeah. Also, it's rich coming from me. So we really should stop doing- [laughs]

C: Well, your accent is beautiful, so.

G: I know! That's the main difference between me and the French-American-Scottish accent. [both laugh] Sorry!

C: Did he roll an r once, though?

G: It was definitely not a Scottish accent. [C laughs] We have heard David Tennant talk enough in YouTube videos, TV shows, and our dreams [C: There are different parts of Scotland.] to know that that's not a Scottish accent!

C: Maybe in your dreams. [laughs]

G: No, yeah, he was in my dream, and it was pretty bad. [C: Yeah, well.] He was a gym teacher, and we made out. [laughing]

C: You're not keeping this in, are you?

G: No, I'm keeping that one in. [C laughing] The people should know. [C: Okay!] And even in the dream, I was like, "Ugh! Yucky!" [both laughing]

-

C: There's a "Road So Far."

G: I enjoyed the "Road So Far" for this episode. The first few seconds is recapping the first ep and the second ep, and then once they have finally established that, we go to Cas, and like, the voice clip they use for Cas is in 4.18, “Monster at the End of This Book,” if I'm correct. When he's telling Dean like, "Monsters are fierce. [C: Archangels.] They're absolute. They're Heaven's most terrifying weapon." What did I say?

C: You said monsters.

G: [laughs] Well, monsters are fierce. But yeah, he's saying, "Archangels are fierce. They're absolute." I think, even in 4.18, I have already said that I absolutely love this delivery. Yeah. And then they show a little bit of Raphael. They show the part where Raphael goes, "Castiel, I'm warning you. Do not leave me here. I will find you," and I am once again reminded of how fucking cool the voicing that the actor did for Raphael is. [C: He's so good.] I think, if I'm not mistaken, this is the last time we will see this specific actor for Raphael.

C: Yeah, 'cause this vessel is fucked.

G: His next vessel is gonna be a woman, I'm pretty sure.

C: No, but we see him in flashbacks in "Man Who Would Be King."

G: Oh, this is true! That's why I was like, "I think we still have Raphael scenes with this guy as the vessel." But yeah, you're right. There's going to be flashback scenes. But like, I think in his current scenes, he's going to be in a female vessel. And then, you know, Cas goes up to Heaven, and then he- like, the last line is about how he wants to go back up because it's going to be total anarchy up there. We start the episode- This scene, okay, just to preface, I'm trying to live my life better. I watched this episode, no knitting. I literally put my knitting physically away so that I can focus on watching the episode. Congratulations to me, and you're welcome to everyone. I was shrieking when this scene was happening. It's very well done in terms of like, the makeup and prop and everything. I think it's excellent.

C: Yes. They did a really good job.

G: I mean, last episode, they also did a very good job with the horror aspect of the episode, and I am enjoying this portion that Supernatural is doing where they're trying to recover themselves as a good old-fashioned monster hunting show. Maybe that's why the racism is back. [both laugh] No, but what is with the racism this season? We're like, 3 episodes in.

C: Well, Sera Gamble has a pretty bad rap.

G: Yeah, this is true. Is it Sera Gamble’s fault? [C: Maybe.] It probably is. Anyway, the scene is, there's this police officer, he's like, in the locker room, and he is washing his face, and he's patting his face dry, and then there's like a little nick on the side of his face, and he's like, "Oh, I nicked myself shaving or whatever." And then as he keeps on going, he notices that even more of his skin is red and bleeding, so he touches it, and then, like the skin just sloughs off. How is that pronounced? [both] Sloffs? Sloughs off. And there's just this giant patch that literally falls on the fucking sink. And he just has a giant red hole on his face. Not hole, like, it's his skin, but like, below it. Like, the muscular part of his face. And then he starts freaking out. He takes a step back, and like, the skin of his foot is like, left on the floor. It's wonderful! It's like, wonderful to look at. It's completely fucking horrifying. And then he starts bleeding through his shirt, just like me for real. There's blood in his mouth, blood in his face, everything. And then he turns around, and he sees- there's a police officer. He's gonna be relevant later. His name's Ed. And he just goes, "Ed, I think I'm bleeding." He tries to take a step forward, and the camera is now just like, on Ed, and then we see a splatter of blood, like, a fine mist of blood go to his face. And then we go to his feet, and it's like, it's bloody, and then it pans slowly towards where the body is, or the quote-unquote "body," because it's just a pile of clothes and disintegrated flesh. It's just all blood. [C: Hell yeah.] Very fun. Wonderful! It really is amazing to look at. They did a really good job with this one. I like that they have consistently been doing good teaser- or, what's that called? The cold open. It's been consistently good. So that's fun.

C: It is.

-

C: So Dean wakes up in Lisa's house, and they're spooning or whatever, and then they start making out, and maybe having sex. But then Dean wakes up. He was, in fact, [G: It wasn't real!] having a sex dream, and he's sleeping in the Impala.

G: Every time there's a sex scene in Supernatural- because this one, it is a sex scene. They make a point of like showing the like, hands and whatever, which is, of course, what makes a sex scene a sex scene. [C: Yeah. #Lesbianism.] Yeah, but like, they do that, [laughs] and I always think about that one IMDb review that was like, "Oh, yeah, your wife says that Sam Winchester is her favorite character. Yeah, I bet, after this sex scene where he fucks this woman so good." [both laughing] And like, I can't help but think like, "Oh, this is like some sort of pandering to someone who wants to fuck Dean Winchester."

C: Yeah. Or who wants to fuck Cindy Sampson.

G: This is true. Why not Lisa, Crystal?

C: You're right. 'Cause you said the character name, and I said the actress name. You're right. I'm so sorry. [G: Boo!] Who wants to fuck Lisa or Cindy Sampson, or Jensen Ackles, or Dean Winchester. A lot of options here. Meanwhile, what else is happening in the world of sex is-

G: [laughs] No, this is hilarious! The cut to Sam working out? I did scream. I was like, "Love it!" Good for him.

C: Yeah, he's sweating a lot, but I think in the world of the making of Supernatural, they probably just dumped a bunch of lube on Jared Padalecki.

G: Is that the case? You can just do oil. [C: True.] I feel like lube, what it is and how it works, it's probably just going to look goopy on the skin. That's why they use it for holy water because it like, beads up. So this is probably baby oil.

C: No, that's true. You're right. I'm so sorry. Look at me, making blunder after blunder today!

G: Maybe it's macadamia nut oil, Crystal. [C laughs]

C: Maybe so. And he's doing push-ups, sit-ups. Later, he's doing chin-ups, which must be hard if his hands are all oiled up.

G: I think there was a time in my life where I was disgusted by Sam Winchester's half-naked body [C laughs] because there is this implication that I should be attracted to it, and I'm like, "Ugh!" [C: Yeah.] But now, I think I'm able to appreciate a muscular male figure for what it is, which is a fun, interesting thing to look at. [C: Huh.] It is very interesting. He has like a vee. You know the vee. You know what I'm talking about.

C: Like, below his neck?

G: No! Like, near his crotch. What is that called? The vee line in his like, hips?

C: [laughing] Why do I only know them as cum gutters? [both laugh] [G: What?] [laughing] I only know them as- Are you talking about the cum gutters?

G: It's called the gutter?

C: [laughing] It's called the cum gutter. [G: No!] I'm sure there's another term for it.

G: I refuse. I steadily refuse to accept this saying.

C: I'm sure there's another. Okay. The iliac furrows.

G: Do you ever think about the fact that that area is called the love handles? What the fuck [laughs] is that about?

C: Well, you grab onto them when you have sex.

G: When you make love, Crystal. [C laughs]

C: You're right. So sorry. Third apology of the night.

G: I think it would be terrifying to see a 6 foot 4 man in the wild. Do you think that's true? You have seen, probably, a 6 foot 4 man. [C: Probably. I don't remember.] I don't think I have. Yeah. Oh, so it didn't leave an impression?

C: Yeah. I mean, currently, Grant O'Brien is now my idea of what a really really tall guy is, so Sam Winchester is whatever.

G: What is Grant? He's 6'7?

C: He's 6'9.

G: Holy shit. [C laughs] [C: Yes.] He's the guy who makes the cocktails, right? [C: Yes.] Oh, god! Well, good for him! [C: Good for him.] I'm sure he's not terrifying in any way whatsoever.

G: Yeah, I mean, people mock him for his height every time he's on a video, so.

G: Yeah. Rhett McLaughlin is 6'7, I think. [C: Who?] The guy from Good Mythical Morning. Keep up, Crystal.

C: Oh. I thought you said "Reth"! I didn't know who that was.

G: Yeah, no, I have trouble pronouncing his name at all times. [laughs] [C: I understand.] No, you see, I was specifically talking about people who are 6'4. So Jared Padalecki, nobody else. He's working out. It's very fun. He's really working those muscles. Apparently, after you work out, your muscles are like, extra like big. Like, they look like, big. So like this is a convenient thing way to do it, I suppose. Like, just have him do chin-ups before he has his scene where he's showing off his body.

C: A hot woman comes out of the bathroom, and she's like, "Oh my god! You're so hot, and you're so good at sex! You're the best at sex I've ever ever ever had!"

G: "Do you want to hang out again later?" And Sam's just completely silent.

C: Yeah. He's making a sicko mode face or something. [both laugh] He's not answering any of her questions. He has like this slight smirk/glare combination, but it's so slight that it has no energy or emotion behind it. Yeah, so she heads out, and then Sam clears his throat [G: Sam ahems.], still not saying anything, and then hands her some cash. And this is how you know Sam is soulless because he paid for a sex worker, and that's evil! [both laugh]

G: Literally!

C: God. Yeah. And then the woman says, like, "Oh, and by the way, hey, here's my phone number. You're so hot and good at sex that the next time, we can just have sex without any money being involved." And Sam goes, "Okay." And then as soon as she leaves, he throws her phone number into the trash. [G: Love that.] What is that?

G: What is Supernatural thinking?

C: Yeah, what are they saying? [laughs]

G: No, yeah. What are they saying?

C: If the point is like, Sam's not interested in romance, you can have one-night stands without romance.

G: She was not offering romance.

C: And she was also not offering romance. She was just like, "That was a good enough time that I wouldn't need you to pay."

G: Maybe it's just he moves around a lot. It's still the same logic in Season 2. "Oh, I move around a lot!" But now, he also is soulless, so he's like, "And I don't give a fuck about you, specifically."

C: Yeah. But I mean, Supernatural has established that it's icky for Sam or Dean to pay for sex because they're so good and hot that they can just get it by themselves. But like, in this one, it's still like, "He's so good at sex and hot."

G: Yeah, so he can get a sex worker's sex for freeeeee! Which is what they're doing, yeah.

C: Yeah. But also, yeah, I don't know. It's just like, I guess he just doesn't want to put the effort in to chat anybody up, whatever whatever.

G: Yeah. Literally no chatting.

C: Yeah. Not a word except for "okay" at the end once.

G: Yeah. He should have said, "Okey-dokey!" and the woman would've been like, "Hell yeah."

C: Yeah, she would have taken her number back. [G laughs] The phone rings. It's Dean, who's like- I think he's swinging by the Campbells, but Sam says that he's in Easter, Pennsylvania, doing a case because all he does is work. He doesn't take breaks in between anymore. And he just seems really impatient with Dean on the phone, too.

G: Yeah. And also, he's hiding the fact that he doesn't sleep.

C: Does he not sleep?

G: Yeah. I'm sorry. You didn't know that? That's like, one of the hallmarks of being soulless.

C: But- wait! What does this mean physiologically?

G: No idea.

C: I don't get it. [laughs]

G: Is it the soul that needs sleep? That is a good question. It's excellent.

C: Yeah, I think it's the body! I guess not in Supernatural.

G: Yeah. It could be the soul. Have you ever tried being soulless, Crystal?

C: I guess not. I'm so sorry. [G: Yeah.] I shouldn't speak on- You have, I presume?

G: Tried being soulless? [C: Yeah.] You know what? It is a possibility that I have tried it, so ask away.

C: Well, did you have to sleep?

G: No. [both laughing]

C: Well, I'm glad we hashed that out.

G: To be fair, you don't have to sleep in general. You can just not sleep, and then you'll die, but like, you know. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. He's very curt with Dean, very just like, "I've delivered you your location. Just go there," etc. And like, it's so weird, because when he's in person with Dean, he's like, normal, right? So like, what- what is this?

G: I don't know. I think they're trying to put a thing where, when he is in front of Dean, he's pretending or whatever. But this is also technically in front of Dean, so like, what's that about?

C: Yeah. I don't know. Is it pretending? Is it like some sort of muscle memory when Dean's here that like, reminds him of the way that they usually interact?

G: That's probably maybe the case, yeah. Do you notice the end of the episode has a "Coming Soon"? [C: Yeah.] And the last scene of that sequence is like, Dean finding out that Sam is soulless-

C: I didn't watch it, but yeah.

G: Oh, okay. Well, towards the end, Dean already knows what's happening, or Dean has evidence that this is not true. But he turns towards Sam and asks, "But Sam, you'll always have my back, right?" And Sam does his Sam smile, and he goes, "[scoffs] Yeah, of course, Dean." [C laughs] And Dean looks at him angry, like, "I'm angy! And mad at you!" [C laughs] So like, I don't know.

C: [laughing] Thank you for the description.

G: Well, it is accurate! If you watch it again, you'll know for a fact that I was correct in my description. Yeah, anyway, so I think there is a sense of having to pretend in front of Dean more so when you're in person than in a call, because in a call, at least you can hide your physicality, you can hide your like body language or whatever. When you're with him in real life, you have to do the Sam Winchester smile. [C: It's true.] And Sam seems to be only capable of doing the Sam Winchester smirk nowadays.

-

G: So we go to one of those backroads- Is this a backroad?

C: Well, it says he's parked on the side of the road.

G: Well, yeah, not on the back of the road. [laughs] But like, what do you call the specific look of a road in the United States? Looks like a road, but like, it's like, weird. [laughs] I don't-

C: It's like, dirt?

G: It's not a dirt road. It's like, "Oh, yesterday, this was a dirt road, but they paved it today." [C laughs] That's what it looks like. [C: I don't know what the term is.] It's that kind of road. This cop is in a police car on the side, slightly obstructed by the leaves. Definitely obstructed if you're in a car and you're driving towards it. And he is doing the speed gun, and there's a car that passes by pretty quickly, and it's 70 miles per hour. How much is that? [C: It's not too fast.] Oh, it's 112. I think that is pretty fast. [C: Really?] Yeah. When my dad gets to 70 kilometers per hour, I'm like, "We're going to die." That's why I don't drive, by the way. Which is 43 miles per hour.

C: That's like, the local roads in my neighborhood are like, 55 miles. [laughs]

G: Yeah. A lot of the roads here are at 60, 60 kilometers per hour or 70, max speed, yeah. That's why, like, what is the point of buying a sports car in the Philippines? The roads are bad, you can't speed anywhere, you're always caught up in traffic, so. [C: Yeah.] Just buy a Dodge Charger just like Sam Winchester. [C laughs] I think a Dodge Charger is also expensive, but that's fine to buy. Anyway, this cop, I don't know. He receives a phone call. Later, we find out that this is the cop that saw the other cop die earlier. And what this cop was saying is like, "Oh, why are you calling me? He's dead. Whatever. It's not about us. We do what we do. We go to work. We go to the funeral!" And then, you know, he's just like, "It's not about us. Don't call me anymore," blah blah blah. And then we start seeing this like, point of view shot from the woods, just towards the side of the car. And later on, we realize that this is a kid sneaking about. I think, in this scene, you're supposed to think it's a monster who's going to attack, and we're finally going to see the monster physically. So it is fun when what happens next is there's this camera that zooms into the cop, and it like, instead of being bitten or whatever, attacked, he starts growing boils on his skin. Later on, we see him with no hair, no eyebrows, no nothing, and I was a bit disappointed. I was like, "You should have put in the hair." [C laughs] But yeah. He dies from that. Apparently, there's so many inside his throat as well, he tries to call emergency, but he couldn't speak, blah blah blah, and then he's dead.

C: Yippee!

G: Yoo-hoo!

-

C: Sam and Dean meet up, and when Dean leaves the Impala, he's in the middle of a phone call to Ben where he tells him like, "I know you're lying. Because I lie professionally, that's how." Which I think is a nice continuation of the "Dean actually does tell Ben most things, it seems." Yeah, he just says that he should tell Lisa that he broke this thing that he's lying about breaking, [laughs] and then he tells him to "take it like a man," which is also a phrase that he employed on Bobby John last episode. [G: This is true.] So I guess this is one of Dean Winchester's main parenting tools, giving people ideas of gender norms that are inaccurate. No, I mean, that's not the right way to phrase it. But who cares? Anyway, Sam's sort of laughing at him about this. They move on to talking about Dean and Lisa, and Dean's like, "Oh, Lisa is really cool about me going." And Sam just says, "Better for everybody." [laughs] It's true! And then Dean makes fun of Sam for his car a bit, [G: Yeah.] and they're being smiley and laugh-y, and just really very normal.

C: What do you think about the car?

C: Sam's car? [G: Yeah.] It's fine. It's a car. It drives. It's got wheels.

G: It is very rounded, which is, I think you notice it very distinctly when it's beside the Impala. [C: Yeah, it's cute.] And it has this little vent in the front. So fun.

C: Just like Sam in his crotch area.

G: ... Crystal. [both laugh]

C: They go to the morgue. They learn about both of these cops. They decide there's definitely a connection between them. The only witness is Officer Ed Colfax, who's the cop we saw in the cold open, so they decide to go and talk to him. He's the partner of the cop who turned into blood. [G: Yeah.] As they're driving there, [G laughs] Sam turns a corner, and then Dean immediately like, swerves, tires screeching, cuts him off to park in front of him. When they get out, Sam goes, "Were you racing me?" and Dean goes, "No, I was kicking your ass"

G: Dean does look incredibly amused by this, so good for him.

C: Yeah. [laughs] I'll allow this. He can be happy sometimes.

G: So they like, knock on the house, and the cop answers. He goes out. His name's Ed, and he is in full uniform, with the cap and everything. And Sam introduces himself as like, the fed. And, you know, "We're just going to ask questions about your guy." And Ed is very visibly in distress, and he basically does a like, "No, fuck off." And he closes the door, and Sam's like, "Mm, okay," and then he kicks the door in, and Dean is like, "Whoa, Sam, I can't believe you've done this." Inside, there's like, family photos and like, photos of him. It's just like usual family on the wall-type photos. Ed is like on the corner, on a table. He is using, I think, a knife to scratch out his face on a picture of him in uniform. And Dean is like, "Okay, weird. Well, we think your partner has been involved in foul play. Do you know any enemies of his?" And Ed says, "Well, yes." And "They both had it coming. I'll be the next to go, and then it will be over, and God will be satisfied." Yeah, he says, "God wants us all dead because of Christopher Birch." There is a thing that they do in this scene where he knocks over, I think, a whiskey bottle, and then he just lets it pour and pour and pour, which I did enjoy the visuals of. Because this scene, if they didn't do that, would be incredibly boring. [both laugh] So they were like, "Let's knock over a bottle of whiskey." And he describes Christopher Birch as having no face and a planted gun. Yeah, "a kid with no face and a planted gun." Yeah. He like, starts bleeding from under his cap, and he's like, "Oh, yeah, I've been itching a lot," and he collapses, and when Dean takes out his cap, there's cicadas inside.

C: Locusts.

G: Locusts? Are those different? I think locust is a general term.

C: They're different.

G: So Sam and Dean figure out that this is like, the fucking Egyptian plagues, but like, in small quantities, which is very fun. And also, they took one of the fucking locusts and put it in a jar. [C laughs] Would you have done that? I would definitely not.

C: No, I was like, "That thing can eat through a skull. It can definitely eat through this glass."

G: Yeah, I don't think that's true. I'm so sorry.

C: I don't think cicadas generally can do that. Most cicadas can't eat through a skull or glass, but these are clearly special cicadas.

G: Yeah. But like, even still, a skull is organic matter. [laughs] Let's not do this. It literally doesn't matter.

C: Is there like a Mohs hardness scale measurement for a skull?

G: Okay, let's look it up. [typing] "Skull in..." 5 on the Mohs hardness scale.

C: Yeah, and then glass. Glass, okay, is a 5.5 to a 6. So it depends on how strong those cicadas are, but yeah, it's not an automatic assumption that it's true, but it could happen. It's not too far off. Unless Mohs is- Is it exponential or logarithmic or however you call it?

G: It's close to being exponential.

C: Okay, then yeah, probably. Yeah, there's no real reason to think they can get through glass, then. You're right, Grey.

G: Yay! And you were able to find this truth via evidence-based reasoning. Good for us.

C: What they find out is that Christopher Birch, who the cop named was talking about earlier, was a child who was shot in the head last month during a vehicle pursuit, and all three of the cops who died were involved. And all of them filed a police report saying that they had to fire because Christopher Birch was brandishing a firearm. So yeah, they planted the gun and lied about it. I mean, Sam and Dean are both like, "Wow, that's bad." [laughs] Correct!

C: The way they do it is Dean just goes, "Oh, well, that's bad." [both laugh] He goes, "Bunch of dicks. Okay."

C: Yeah. And Sam thinks maybe really this is God or Heaven acting against these cops, which I think an interesting follow-through from like, "Houses of the Holy."

G: Yeah. And like, his reasoning is that now that the Apocalypse is done, the angels have better things to do, like kill cops.

C: Yeah. I wish. Unfortunately, our main angel of the show loves cops. Dean says, "Let's call the main angel of the show who loves cops!"

G: "And meee!" [laughs] [C: What?] No, he says, "Who loves cops, and meee!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah, he says all of that, just like that. Sam says, "Uh, he's not gonna come because I already tried."

G: "He hates me!"

C: "He only hates me!" Dean gives it a shot. He's not like, reverent about it or anything, you know. It's "Now, I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here." And then, "Don't be a dick." But I guess what works is that he tells Cas that there's something happening down here that's like the Egyptian plagues. And Sam says, "Like I said, the son of a bitch doesn't answer." And then, "He's right behind me, isn't he?"

G: Yeah. We hear the whoosh-whoosh sound of the wings, and Sam's face changes from bemusement to anger and confusion.

C: Yeah. So Cas says, "Hello." [G: Hello!] in his Cas words, and Sam's pissed. He goes, "Hello?" and Cas goes, "Yes?" [laughs] And then Sam imitates Cas! [both] "Hello?" [laughing] And then he goes, "Hello?" And Cas goes, "That is still the term." [laughs]

G: Love him. He spent a quote-unquote "year" as a celestial- What does he call himself? A multi-dimensional wavelength of celestial intent, and his people skills are rusty!

C: Yeah. Yeah. He's very charming during this first scene. Sam goes, "So what? You like Dean better or something?" And Cas is like, "Yeah." [both laugh] [G: He's hilarious!] He goes, "Dean and I do share a more profound bond," and then turns to Dean and goes, "What? I wasn't gonna mention it," which sounds like they fucked.

G: Yeah, which sounds like they have talked about this very much so before. [C: Yeah.] It is funny that the way he poses it, it's like, "We all know this is true, but like, I wasn't gonna say it because it's impolite to say it! I was trying to be polite!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah. "You saw me. You saw me trying, Dean." [G: Yeah.] Yeah, this is a bit of a Sastiel loss, but I would say Sam imitating his voice is a Sastiel win, so really, where do we lie here?

G: I think we lie very solidly on the "They have started queerbaiting with Destiel" side.

C: Yeah. [laughs] I think that's what that is. [G: Yeah.] "Started"?

G: I mean, I would argue that Season 5, they haven't done it yet fully, but also, I argued in Season 5 that in Season 4, they haven't done it yet fully, in Season 5, they're actually doing it. And I suppose I will continue arguing that until time immemorial.

C: Yeah, until 15.18, and you're like, "It's so great how Supernatural never queerbaited once [both laugh] 'cause it's real here!"

G: No, but you think they started in Season 5.

C: Yeah.

G: I probably also think that. I'm just in denial.

C: Yeah. You remember "Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid."

G: Oh yeah, you're right! But that isn't queerbaiting. Cas really is just gay and wants to fuck Dean. [C laughs] And Dean is using it to his advantage.

C: That's true. I guess since Cas is canonically queer, anything that's just about Cas wanting to fuck Dean isn't queerbaiting, so then this isn't queerbaiting, either.

G: No, that's not-

G: The "I wasn't gonna mention it" was like, they've both talked about it.

G: No, that's not how we would define queerbaiting. As you said, right, just because Cas turned out to be gay doesn't mean that blah blah blah.

C: I agree, but you just said that [both laugh] it wasn't queerbaiting because Cas is really gay and wants to fuck Dean.

G: No, but like, Dean is trying to get something that is actually true about their dynamic, which is that Cas likes him better, and then he's just exaggerating it in a way that will make Cas feel ashamed for his attachment to Dean and where his dedication lies in the Heaven/Apocalypse situation. [C: Okay.] Like, I don't think he's saying "Cas wants to fuck me." I think he's saying that "I think Cas likes me more than is appropriate, and I'm gonna make fun of him for it and use it to my advantage."

C: Okay. The "personal space" thing in 5.03, and "My Bloody Valentine"?

G: No, yeah, that's queerbaiting. [laughs]

C: Cool. So anyway, Dean, instead of being like, "Cas, that's mean." or "Cas, you're friends with Sam." He goes, "No, but okay, I know you fucking hate Sam, and honestly, so do I, [G laughs] but remember how he went to Hell for us? You gotta answer his questions!"

G: We didn't even acknowledge that he calls it a profound bond, which ends up being the Destiel name of the-

C: The trailer.

G: Well, not just the trailer. It's a prominent thing that people say about Destiel.

C: So Cas says that he doesn't have any answers because he doesn't know who brought Sam back from the Cage. Why is he lying about this? Is it because he knows that he's soulless, so he's like, "When Dean finds out, I do not want him to blame me!" [laughs]

G: I don't think he knows that Sam is soulless. Maybe he knows something is wrong?

C: Yeah. Maybe he didn't even bring him back. He did, though.

G: He did bring him back. I think he's just trying to hide the fact that he brought him back because he's too busy to like, deal with it.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah, that's fair. I do enjoy a white lie or two. Sam goes, "So it wasn't God?" Aww. [G: Mm.] And Cas is just like, "I don't know. I don't know. And also, I don't know." And then Dean goes, "Okay. If Sam is asking you a question, you just come down and tell him 'I don't know.' Just because we have a bond doesn't mean that you should only listen to me!"

G: No, this is crazy. [both laugh] Hilarious. [C: Literally.] He literally does say, "Just because we have some sort of a... a bond or something." [laughs] He says, "A bond or whatever." So true!

C: So true. He's almost as emotionally repressed as we are. [both laugh]

G: Perhaps so, yeah. We did learn it from Supernatural, allegedly. [C laughs]

C: And Cas says, "You think I came because you called?" which means that whole thing of telling Sam that he likes Deam better was completely unnecessary, [both laugh] and all he had to do was say, "No, I came down because of like the case situation."

G: "Of this thing." Yeah, he's hilarious. [C: So funny.] He was like, "Even if I didn't necessarily come down because I like Dean better, I need Sam to know that I do like Dean better. Like, that is something we need to confirm, even though that's not the reason why I'm here."

C: Yeah, he doesn't have time to do many things, such as protect a child from potential future police brutality, but he does have time for this. Alright.

So he tells Sam that Heaven didn't directly cause these killings, but the staff of Moses did, and it's gone missing. It's not being used at full capacity. He says, "I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect." Slaycay. And Sam and Dean look like he's so stupid for saying that, but when you meet real, actual, Biblical Adam in Season 15, who's going to be laughing?Nobody, because Jack is having a really bad time and gonna die.

G: Jack has a fun time with Serafina.

C: Yeah, yeah, but it's for the sake of him doing his self-sacrifice thing.

G: Yeah, this is true.

C: Yeah. Dean calls Moses's staff "Chuck Heston's disco stick." Why is Dean like, an opposite translator? He's the opposite of the Wikipedia Simple English. [both laugh]

G: Yeah. [laughs] Yeah.

C: So basically, in the chaos of the war in Heaven, a lot of powerful weapons were stolen. He needs Sam and Dean's help. And Sam's like, "Why should we do that when you won't even answer my caaaalls?" And this is when Cas does the, "Sam. Dean. My quote 'people skills' unquote are quote 'rusty,' unquote." He's doing finger quotes. It's great. "Pardon me, but I've spent the last 'year' as a multi-dimensional wavelength of celestial intent!" He's my fave, except he's not this episode. [G: Yeah.] He tells them that they should just help him to prevent people's deaths. Dean says, "Okay, let's think about motive." And they have a newspaper clipping of Christopher Birch's father calling for an investigation into his son's death.

G: Yeah, speaking of Cas being my favorite but not this episode, it is actually so fascinating, like, the entirety of my life- or not the entirety of my life, [C laughs] but when I think back to Season 6, I think, "Yeah, Cas was like in the right," because in my head, I was like, "When Dean is like in the right, that's just the show talking. That's not true." And now, like, I'm like, "No, yeah, Cas did fuck up this season." [laughs] Just from this one episode, we can fully surmise that he did fuck up this season. And later on, Dean does ask Cas pretty straightforwardly like, "Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you call us?" which is the same question he asks at the end in "The Man Who Would Be King." Like, "You should have fucking told us." [C: Yeah.] And Cas says, "That's very nice, Dean. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" And Dean goes, "I was there! Where were you?" And then it cuts back and forth to like- Do you know that? [C: Yeah.] When Dean goes, "I was there. Where were you?" And it cuts to Cas watching him rake leaves. [C: Yeah.] Because Supernatural doesn't trust us to connect the dots in any way, shape, or form.

C: They just wanted Cas to have a gay little moment.

G: They wanted him to kiss a hundred boys in bars or something.

C: Exactly. [laughs]

G: What I'm trying to say here is I think I may have had a more benevolent look into Cas in Season 6 just because of the distance from the season. I think I've mentioned this maybe with Episode 1 of the season, but this is probably the season I remember the least about. I don't really remember much about Season 6, and I think I have colored Cas Season 6 in rose paint. That's not how that saying goes. I have put on my rose-colored glasses to look at Cas.

C: All of the red flags just look like flags.

-

G: We go to the Birches, and this one man, Darryl Birch. Also, did we mention that like, this family is Black? They don't mention it, like, Sam and Dean. You get the confirmation here, I guess, because this is a Black family. Daryl Birch is the dad, and he's like, sitting there, and he's looking at newspaper clippings, or just newspaper of like, the deaths, and then he starts cutting up the newspaper, putting it like- I don't know. He's putting it somewhere. He's getting the clippings. And then there's this kid who comes in. The kid is like, "Hey, Dad, how many times are you going to read that clipping? Like, let's just throw it out." But the dad tells him to go away. And so he does, and Sam and Dean and Cas just immediately show up in the living room. Like, literally teleport there. And then, Darryl is like, "What the fuck is this?" [laughs] and Sam goes, "We're FBI agents," which is hilarious. They immediately lead with like, "Yeah, those cops killed your kid. He didn't have a gun." And the dad says, like, "Yeah, they're all getting theirs." And Sam goes, "[aggressive] And who's giving it to them, Darryl?" [laughs] What's wrong with him?

C: [sighs] I don't know.

G: Dean goes, "Did you kill the cops?" And he goes, "No, I didn't. Look at how they died. How could I possibly kill them?" And then the kid shows up.

C: [laughs] No, first Cas says, "You smote them with the staff of Moses!"

G: Oh, yeah. He did do that. And then he goes, "Okay, let's just look for the staff. We don't need to question this guy." Then the kid shows up, and he's holding this staff like it was a gun, and then he goes, "Leave my dad alone." Later on, we'll discuss it, because Cas does leave this kid to the cops. Like, that is something that actually happens in this episode that is so egregiously bad. But like, I don't know, like this whole thing where they're like- They're also cops! Like, feds are also cops, right?

C: Yeah, they're also cops. They teleported into his house and yeah, were generally just very aggressive in their interrogation. And yeah, there's just no real sensitivity given to the fact that his son was murdered by cops, and maybe you should be a bit chiller.

G: Yeah. Internally, in the story, there's no sensitivity. Externally, in the writing of the story, they also seem to not give a fuck? Which is what's so mind-boggling to me. Because you chose to wrote this. Like, you chose to wrote this storyline. You chose to write this storyline. And so I feel like there's no reason to then be like, "I don't know." Like, [laughs] what do mean you don't know? You chose to write it! You're a show that only writes to people of color when you think it will serve your plot, and specifically because they're people of color! And so like, I don't know. There's so many- It would also be probably bad, just because this is Supernatural, if they tried to address the police brutality and specifically the antiblack brutality in in this show because of the way Supernatural is, but like, to bring it up and then do nothing with it other than to go, "We're also the bad guys, by the way. [C laughs] Like, don't worry about it." Like, what the fuck? [C laughs] What the fuck is this? And like, yeah, okay. Let's go on with what the fuck they do with this kid first before we get into the weeds of it. [C: Yeah.] Cas realizes that the staff is- it's sawed off. It's cut into pieces, and only a piece is given to Aaron, which is why, like, earlier, Sam goes like, "Wait. Isn't it supposed to turn the entire sea into blood? Why is it only turning [both] one guy into blood?" And this is why. It's because it's cut up into pieces. The dad screams at Aaron to get the fuck out of there, and Cas boops his head, and then, you know, he collapses. He goes to the kid, takes the fucking staff. Dean starts interrogating the kid. And he goes like, "We're not gonna hurt you. We just need to know where you got this." And the kid is just going, "Please don't kill my dad. It was me." And yeah. What they gather is that the kid got it from an angel. He said, "Those bastards, they killed my brother, and nothing bad even happened to them. So I prayed to God, and God didn't answer, but this angel did, and he said that I could have justice, but I have to take it myself." And then the angel gave him the staff of Moses. And Dean is like, "Well, what did you give in exchange?" And he says, "I bought it with my soul." And Cas is like, "Okay, well, nobody has ever sold a soul to an angel before, but I suppose it can happen." And they realize that the staff is cut into pieces so that the angel can buy even more souls.

C: We never learn what it means to sell your soul to an angel. It sounds fine to me! Guaranteed to get into Heaven?

G: Yeah, what is the logic behind it?

C: What is it?

G: Because later on, in Season 8, I believe, or maybe Season 9, we do get verification that what is running Heaven is the souls. Like, the souls are keeping the lights on. And so it's not like it's a fucking imposition to having to have souls. Like, they also need it. [C: Right.] And so buying a soul is like- It's probably fine. I don't know. What the fuck is going on? I think maybe they will clarify it later.

C: If it's the ten years thing like with the demon deal, then I guess it'd be bad that the kid has to die within ten years. [G: Ah, this is true.] Like, that would be the negative part of it. But yeah, it's not made clear.

G: If that was the case, they should have clarified that, I believe.

C: Yeah, they really really should have clarified.

G: Cas boops this kid asleep and then puts him over his shoulder.

C: And that kid never talks again. That is the end of Aaron being conscious and speaking and having a personality and story.

G: And Dean goes, "Well, what the fuck?" And then they go back to the motel room, and he lies the kid down on the bed. And then he goes like, "Yeah, I need to read the mark that the angel left in the soul." He says that it will be extremely painful for the kid. And Dean is the only one who protests. Like, Sam just stands in the corner like, "Mm, okay." And Dean is like, "No, no, no, wait, wait! Why? You can't do that!" And Sam just goes, "Is there any permanent damage?" And Cas goes, "Well, physically, minimal." Dean protests and protests. And Cas just goes, "There is no other way, and I will have to torture this kid, because I don't have the privilege not to!" [C sighs] No, he says, "I don't have the luxury not to" or something.

C: Yeah, "I can't wake him up and ask if that angel spoke with a stupid Scottish-French accent that sounds British!"

G: I specifically hate that like, in this scene, they like, linger on Cas's sad face [C laughs] when he goes, "I don't have the luxury." And then we go to Dean's face in like, shock but also a bit of understanding, and it's like fuck off! [C: Yeah.] Fuck off! Pissing me off.

C: Yeah. Supernatural has a thing where there's points where they're like, "I'm putting my foot down, something crosses a line regarding what my morals are," and there's other times when they're like, "It's difficult for me, emotionally, and only me, but it has to be done." And it's interesting where this one falls regarding that dichotomy.

G: I think Supernatural has always done this thing, and we have always pointed it out. But to them, it's not about the thing. It's not about doing the thing. It's about how you feel about doing the thing. [C: Yes.] So it's fine if you do a bad thing as long as you feel bad about it. [C: Yeah.] As long as you feel guilty, as long as it's the only choice, then it's completely fine that you do a horrible thing, as long as you have nightmares about it after. Fuck off! [C: Yeah. Yeah.] Pissing me off.

C: So Dean's good, because he went, "Nooo! Okay, though." about it.

G: "Noo!" And he's going to be sad about this for the rest of the day! [C laughs] And Sam, like, both of them allowed it to happen. Just to be completely clear, both Sam and Dean allowed it to happen. But because Dean protested and went, "Nooo! Oh, okay, you're sad? Oh, fine, but I'm still sad about it!" And Sam just went, "No, it's wrong. Oh, okay. Yeah. Go ahead," that makes Sam like, more egregious than Dean because- And I mean, Sam is more egregious than Dean because if both of them protested, maybe they would have had a chance. But like, [C: Yeah.] Dean also allowed it to happen, you know? [C: Yeah.] And the morality of Supernatural really shines through this episode. There's also the whole conversation about like, what does being a hunter mean.

C: Yeah, I mean, regarding like what it means to be a hunter, the reason that they're going after the staff, Cas is like, "Oh, so many more people are going to die." Why? I mean, it seems like, when they thought it was the dad, it seemed like he had three specific people he wanted to die, rightfully so. They're dead!

G: And this kid also had three specific people that they wanted to die. [C: Yeah.] And even the cop said like, "After us, it's probably done."

C: Yeah. So there's no further harm being prevented here. But it's just like, "Noo, they can't have this power, because maybe they'll be bad. Why? I don't know. Just give it to Heaven! We'll be good with the staff of Moses." So like, that doesn't make any sense. And then, what they do later for Aaron is that they force Balthazar to let go of his claim on his soul. And like, that's like, "Okay, this is within the realm of a hunter. This is a supernatural thing that's happening to the kid that's bad, so we're gonna make it stop." But like, they don't think about being sensitive when they're approaching the family for questioning. They don't think about doing anything other than torture to get the answer of which angel sold this to him. Like, they fucking leave him there for the cops because time is of the essence to get to Balthazar, but they don't think about like the emotional toll that, like, the cops getting him-

G: Having to wake up to the institution that killed your brother. Yeah.

C: Yeah, after remembering being tortured and in horrible pain, and then going home to your dad, who an angel knocked out just now.

G: And also, let's play out the situation, right? The cops come to him. They take him home. They go in. The dad has clippings of the dead police officers on the table. [C: Yes.] You think they're going to be benevolent to this guy who has been actively seeking out justice against them? Like, fuck off! I do think it really showcases the fundamental missteps in like, the philosophy of the show. Yeah. We have always said that Supernatural exists within a framework that is inherently racist. And like, I don't know. Supernatural has always played it out in a fantasy racism, always.

C: Yeah. And also, sometimes, real racism.

G: And then when they do the- This is something that we also said about Gordon, right? Like, they would try to attempt to do this thing where it's like, "No, but like, the monsters! The monsters!" You have an actual Black character on screen [C laughs] that you are mistreating to hell and back.

C: Yeah. And you also left him to the cops in Season 2, right?

G: Yeah. Yeah. And like, I don't even think the fucking race allegory that they're doing is good, like, number one. I don't think it's particularly good to go, "No, but the vampires are the equivalent of people of color!" [C laughs]

C: Yeah, you know how people of color, in order to live, they have to suck white people's blood?

G: Yeah, but like, that is what Supernatural is doing, like, in that episode, that was explicitly pretty much what they were doing, like, pretty explicitly. And so to want to do that, and then to turn around and go, "But we don't have to treat any of the actual Black characters that we have on the show with any dignity whatsoever. Don't worry about it," like, okay. Fuck off.

C: I guess another thing I was thinking about is that, you know, Aaron's a kid who's taking revenge on cops who murdered his brother in like, the show that's about brothers [G: Taking revenge, yeah.] who love each other who take revenge on other people because of their brothers and also like, make pretty much every character a mirror to one of the brothers because the way for you to feel compassion for a character in Supernatural is by going, [both] "They're just like Sam and Dean for real!" And obviously, I don't think that doing a direct one-to-one of like, being killed by demons and being killed by racist cops is like, a good move for Supernatural, but I think there's also a way for them to connect with Aaron and like, talk to him more in a way that it's like, "I fully understand what you did, and like, you also love your brother, I also love my brother," etc etc as a way of like, I don't know, just making him a character that the audience connects to more and all of that, and they just skip over it. Like, it seems like they don't even consider doing any kind of parallels, and that's-

G: The thing is is that is Supernatural's language. It sounds like, yeah, they probably shouldn't do this fucking parallel thing, but that is what they do. That is how the show communicates it, to its audience that like, this is a character that we're supposed to care about or this is a storyline we're supposed to connect to. That is how they do it. And so the fact that they don't do it at all, they don't extend that familiarity, or that- they don't extend that like, generosity in terms of thought towards this kid. Also, this kid is like, 14! [laughs] Like, it's a kid for real. They don't extend that to this kid and this family, I do think, as you said, like, speaks to what Supernatural thinks you the audience should feel about this. Like, "No, they're other." [C: Yeah.] Is Season 6 going to be like this? Is Sera Gamble- What's gonna happen? I mean, time is progressing.

C: Ugh. I don't know. Right. Last episode Bobby John, not good.

G: Yeah. Like, time is progressing in Supernatural, the show, and also the writer's room. It's progressing. And so at some point it should be- It should get better. Like, at least? [C laughs] You know?

C: I don't know. Progress isn't linear.

G: But they find new ways. Supernatural: We Will Find a Way. [both laugh] That's their tagline.

C: Yeah, Supernatural is progressing in the ways that it will put racism in its show.

G: Yeah. They do end up torturing this kid. And the way they do it is like, while the kid is screaming, it goes to Dean, making a sad face. And yeah, Cas is done. We never pan to this kid ever again. I don't think we ever see him on camera ever again, except accidentally when Cas is having that fight scene.

C: Some peripheral shots lying on the bed at points.

G: Cas is like, "Oh, yeah, I had a good friend, and it's this good friend who is doing all this. I thought he died." Dean is asking questions. Cas just goes, "Balthazar. I wonder." And then an angel like, appears in the room and goes, "Oh, yeah, Balthazar. You finally said it. Thanks, Cas. Now I have a name." And then the angel starts attacking Cas, and they start having a fight scene, and the angel goes, "Oh, by the way, Raphael says, hello." It's a fight scene. The setting of this room is like, it's in a high-rise building, and they must be in the seventh floor or something. Cas throws him and the angel out of the window. They both end up landing on Sam's car, the other angel on Sam's hood and Cas like, right in the middle, and it is pretty cool because like, Sam and Dean look down, and Cas is like, embedded into he car, and he like, gets himself out of there, and as he does, the metal squishes further. Very fun. And the angel disappears, and then, you know, there's the loud, blaring alarm of Sam's car. It's completely fucking totaled.

C: Sam goes, "My car!" [laughs]

G: And Dean just smirks and goes, "Okay, silver lining." Also, not to be, you know, a Destiel shipper, but I do find it completely amusing when Cas throws himself down, and then Sam and Dean both peek the first time- like, Sam, of course, has a distressed face because of his car, and Dean is doing like a little gasp, like a [gasps], which is very fun. An impressed little face.

C: Yeah. RIP to Sam's car.

G: Yeah. RIP to this Dodge Charger from 2006.

C: Yeah. Does he ever get a new car?

G: Well in Season 7, they change cars always. They have to hide the Impala.

C: Oh, but like, he and Dean aren't like, living and working together anymore. He needs a car to go on his solo hunts. I'd assume he'd get a new one.

G: Maybe he will. Yeah.

C: Okay, I hope he does. You know I'm a big proponent of the Sam Driving League.

-

C: Cas teleports back into the room and tells them that the angel he fought was a soldier of Raphael. Cas starts setting up the ritual to find Balthazar, but Dean's like, "No no no. Answer questions like, right now. Cas, what is up?" And he explains that there's a civil war going on in Heaven where Raphael and his followers want to rule Heaven, but "many other people" don't. And he doesn't say who that other camp wants to take over, but I guess it's him. [laughs] Everyone hates him and wants him to die, though.

G: Yeah, exactly.

C: Yeah, he goes, "I and many others, the last thing we want is to let him take over," and [laughs] many others is like one or two other people.

G: One guy. [C laughs] "Many others" is him and then half of Balthazar’s heart. Like, Balthazar don't even give a fuck! [both laugh]

C: Yeah, yeah, it's just Castiel, Cas, Cass with 2 S's.

G: It is hilarious, later on, he kills that angel, and then he goes, "Why won't any of you listen to me?" [both laughing] "Why won't any of you listen to meee? Now I have to kill you!"

C: Yeah, and I know he's having his emotional, mournful moment or whatever, but I don't care! [both laugh]

G: Yeah, that guy sucks! Go back to being eye candy, Cas. [C laughs]

C: He says that whoever has all these powerful, Heavenly weapons is going to win the war, so that's why he finds the staff of Moses so important. And what Raphael wants to continue and end the- or to continue the Apocalypse to its end because he's a "traditionalist." And Dean goes like, "Cas. Why didn't you tell us?" And Cas says that he was ashamed and expected more from his brothers. Why would he? They were all for the apocalypse!

G: Well, first of all, I just find it hilarious that it's like, "Why didn't you tell me?" "I was ashamed because my brother sucks so bad." If you truly were ashamed, you would have kept that to yourself, Cas. [C laughs] I'm gatekeeping shame.

C: Not even a top 15 Mitski song, I would say. It's not bad, but.

G: To be clear, my complaint is that they deliver it with no subtlety, and I wish it was something that was went through more- Like, they don't just say it in here, we see it in actuality, that's how we figure it out kind of deal. Yeah.

C: Yeah, I did write down, "I think Misha Collins is a bad actor" [laughs] when this line came up.

G: Yeah. I thought he was a bad actor in, "You think I came because you called?" But also, to be fair, that's just a bad line to give to Cas, I feel. [C: Yeah.] Cas would say, "I did not come here because you called me, Dean." Like, that's a Cas line. [C: Yeah.] "You think I came here because you called?" Fuck off. [C laughs] Who the fuck is writing this? Ben Edlund! ... I will not threaten you in any way, shape, or form. [C laughs]

C: Ben Edlund, I hope you live a long life, and that when you die, it's not in my country. [both laugh] [G: Yeah.] But yeah, I think the fact that there's no pause before he says, "I was ashamed." I think that was the acting choice that I thought was quite bad. But it's also not a very well-written line.

G: It's like they forgot how to write Cas or something. I think because they were leaning- I think with the Cas scenes this episode, they were really leaning a lot into the comedy of him, just the absurdity of his character, that I don't think they really did well with the like, more emotional parts or whatever. [C: Yeah.] Not some of the comedy also, but like, there are scenes that are funny with him. Like, I found him amusing in like, "Sam, Dean, I spent the last year-" like, that was funny. The "I wasn't gonna mention it" was funny. When he said, "That is still the saying," [C laughs] like, that is pretty funny. But like, there's just, you know, some lines here and there and the more emotional lines that are like, yeah, I think they're still feeling this character out.

C: Raphael wants the apocalypse because he's quote-unquote "a traditionalist"? The last time Raphael talked about why or just his general thoughts about God and the Apocalypse was 5.03, right? [G: Yeah.] I didn't review that scene before this episode. I should do it now. Do you recall what his deal was?

G: Well, his deal was predominantly "God is not here."

C: So yeah, right, it was "God's not here." "So you think you can do whatever you want?" He's upset that God ran off and disappeared, left no instructions and a world to run. "We're tired. We just want it to be over. We just want Paradise." I don't know. Is that super traditionalist? Like, part of traditionalist stuff is thinking that it's God's will and all of that, right? For the Apocalypse to happen? But like, in 5.03, it seems very clearly like-

G: "We're tired."

C: "I'm upset at being abandoned, and if we just go through with this apocalypse thing, and if Michael wins in some way, then we'll like end up in the good universe where there's paradise on Earth because of all the suffering that I saw on Earth in the last century."

G: I suppose it is his enemy, Castiel, who's characterizing him right now.

C: [laughs] Yes.

G: It is a possibility that his philosophy is different. I'm not holding out my breath for it, because it's Supernatural, but I do think- I don't think Raphael really is the person to have made into a villain of Season 6, which seems to be what they're doing.

C: I guess Michael's in the cage. They already established Gabriel as a little scamp, and Lucifer's Lucifer. But yeah, I don't- I feel like Gabriel had villain potential.

G: Yeah, but you see, Gabriel is lovable, and Raphael is stern, and so we know how it goes.

C: I don't know. Isn't there also this super monster thing going on anyway? That could have just been the conflict.

G: Um, yeah, we'll figure that out as we go. [C: Okay.] I think you would be surprised by how related they are. [both laugh]

C: Thank you for your subtlety, Grey.

G: Again, I don't really remember the intricacies of the plot of Season 6. But like, those are a thing that are together. Forevah, even. Or something.

C: Got it. I mean, yeah, I think Cas is just being flattening in his characterization. But, as you said, [G: Yeah, but also Supernatural.] I don't really think that Raphael will have a chance to really explain himself at any point during the season. [G: Yeah.]

G: And like, I don't know. It does make me sad that they're like really intent on making Raphael like, evil or whatever. [C: Mm.] I don't know. I feel like there is value to- Because like, if you look at the four archangels, you know, you have Lucifer who hates God, and his response is to like, hate God. You have Michael, who still believes in his dad, and then you have Gabriel, who hates his dad and the response- or he doesn't seem to hate his dad. [C: Yeah, he's swad.] He seems to be mad at his brothers. His anger is externalized towards his brothers or something. You have Raphael, who's like, mad at God. His response is to feel defeated. And like, you know, we have talked about how having all these four archangels who are like the brothers of the show- not, you know what I mean. [C laughs] They are portrayed as brothers with brother dynamics, with a dad who is absent and harsh. I don't think it's productive to have yet another brother be the villain. [C: Yeah.] And like, I don't know. I think it does speak to something about Supernatural that they were like, "And Gabriel is going to be the one who we love. We wuv him. Wuv him!" Like, fuck off.

C: Yeah. And he has multiple episodes where all he does is antagonize and torture Sam and Dean, but he still gets his little redemption moment.

G: Yeah. And Raphael gets nothing?

C: So what's that about? And stern characters, Cas started as a stern character, and [G: Yeah.] you know, they kept running with him, and now everybody wuvs him, etc etc. So it's not just that they were like, "Raphael's no fun." They've shown that they can make a stern character fun. Cas is mostly there for comic relief, in fact. But like-

G: And I do think there was a time when the general fandom consensus and also you and I, I feel, we brought this to the podcast as well is the idea that the fans don't react to certain characters well, so the show doesn't develop them. I think more and more, I'm like, "That's just bullshit, man." If the show wants to do it, they can. [C: Yeah.] If they wanted to commit to Cas not being here anymore, they could have done that. [C: Yeah.] Like yeah, people are gonna complain and gonna stop watching and gonna send feathers to your office where you have workers that are allergic, but like, [both laugh] you know, you could have committed to it. And like, that's an extreme case. The Cas thing is an extreme case because it's like, you killed a character that they want to be in the show. But, for example, in situations where it's like, you have a character in the show, and the audience is not reacting to that character well, it's not like it's automatically like, "Ugh, damn it! Now we have to kill them." [C: Yeah.] That's not like your only option. You can do other thing!

C: Yeah, have you considered writing good? [G laughs]

G: Have you considered considering your writing options? [C laughs] Yeah, like, there is a point where it's like, yeah, I think the show just doesn't give a fuck to do it.

C: They came in with Gordon knowing that he was going to be a villain, so they didn't bother. [G: Yeah.] They did the same thing with Uriel, and now the same thing with Raphael.

G: And they can go like, "Oh, but you see, we tried," and it's like, well, maybe if you tried harder, [laughs] you could have done something with it!

C: So Cas takes some of Dean's blood for the ritual because Dean is his favowite. The police are showing up because of like, the whole car alarm, two people crashing on top of a car situation. Cas has tracked down Balthazar's location and says, "Let's go." And Dean goes, "Wait, wait, wait! What about Aaron?" And Cas goes, “Don't you think the police will take him home?” And it just cuts.

G: You can just teleport him like that! Like, you can just literally go [C: Yeah, it's very fast.]- you can just snap, and you're back there.

C: Yeah, and I don't- I was thinking about the purpose of this line. And I think it's for Supernatural to reiterate that not all cops are bad. Because, like, it cuts after that. There's no Dean face reaction shot. It cuts like what Cas says is obvious. Of course they'll take him home, it'll be fine.

G: I thought the intention was to show that Cas is heartless now and doesn't give a fuck.

C: I think that that is possible, but I feel like the way that they've done that is like, Dean face reaction shots.

G: Have Dean react, yeah.

C: And there was no Dean face reaction shot. This was just like, Cas saying a statement and then it cutting, so to me, it read as like a "Well duh, they will." And just as like a "So don't worry! Not all cops are bad. These ones will take him home, and he'll be real happy about it." But it could also be what you said.

G: I think it could also be the whole, like, what is the role of a hunter? "Oh, this is out of our bounds. We don't have to take this kid home. It's not our responsibility."

C: Yeah, "We kidnapped him, but we don't have to take him home."

-

G: Yeah. Now they're in a fucking- in the lawn of a mansion. Sam and Dean basically stay outside, and it's just Cas who comes in, and there's this scene where there's like- you know those fancy stairs in fancy houses? And there's a giant fucking frog sitting on the railing, right in the middle. And Cas looks at it, and the frog looks at him and croaks, and there's like, close-ups of both of them. And then, like, you know, he goes up. He follows where the music is. What is with the gag with the frogs? Balthazar says it later. I still don't understand it. Am I missing something?

C: I don't know. It's a plague, and he was turning some angels into frogs?

G: So that frog was an angel.

C: Or they were jumping out of the throat of the dead body of the angel that attacked Cas earlier.

G: Balthazar is there, and he has a ambiguous accent. I'm pretty sure it's British. I think we can just say it's a British accent.

C: But is it?

G: Listeners, if you think this accent is a British accent, send us an ask saying that Cas should go into heat. Thank you! Nobody, absolutely nobody has done it still.

C: Yeah, I think we're supposed to take that as a message. [G laughs]

G: Anyway, the angel that Cas duked it out with earlier is now dead on the floor, and there's like, a frog coming out of his mouth. And Castiel is like, "Balthazar, this is serious shit. I thought you were dead. I grieved you." And Balthazar’s like, "Yeah, no. I needed to die so that I can live!" Cas asked, like, "You stole the staff of Moses?" And Balthazar says he stole a lot of things and that he needed to do it because nothing's ever going to change in Heaven, and so like, just get a weapon, get out of there, and run and like, live your life! And Balthazar is like, "Whatever you need, Cas. Just ask. I'll give it to you." And Cas goes like, "I need the weapons." And Balthazar's like, "Oh, noo!" And Balthazar actually says that "The reason why I've done all this is because you tore up the script. I'm just following your footsteps. It's a new era of no rules, no destiny, just utter and complete freedom." And Cas is upset that this is what he did with that freedom. And Cas finally mentions that like, it's a civil war up there. "If we can beat Raphael, we can end this. Just give me the weapons!" And Balthazar says, "You know what's so funny about you. You actually believe you can stop the fighting. Just leave, Cas. Just fake your own death and go." Cas says, "Well, Raphael now knows that you're alive, so tough luck!" And Balthazar's like, "Well, whatever. I'm just going to leave, and I really am happy to see you, even if you still have that stick up your ass." He leaves- Well, first, there's like, big thunder, and he's like, "Oh, yeah, Raphael's coming. Well, tell him to bite me!" and then he leaves, and it's just Cas now. Raphael and I think two other angels come in. Sam and Dean are like, downstairs, and then an angel shows up, and Sam goes like, "Hey, I'm here, and I have an angel blade." And then another angel shows up beside Sam, and it's like, "Well, you think you can knife fight an angel?" And we go to Dean, who's like, "Who said anything about knife fights?" and then he does the sigil, and it expels the angels out of there. You know what? I do love when they do this shit. I love when they like bluff things out, and it's like, "Oh, no, Sam's in danger! But only because they planned it! And Dean has an even bigger gun!" [C laughs] Like, love it.

C: It's pretty fun.

G: And Cas is inside, and there's another angel that's coming on to him, and the angel's like walking and walking towards him. [laughs] And Cas is going, "Nooo! Don't do this, pwease!" [C laughs] And then he's like just saying, "No, I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you." And literally, the angel is like five feet away from him, [both laugh] and he throws a fucking angel blade into his chest. And the angel dies, collapses on the ground, [C: Do we even see the wings?] and Cas just goes, "Why won't any of you listen?" What?

C: Did we even get wings on this guy?

G: No, I don't think so. I think they DGAF. [C: Boo!] I don't think we see the body fall to the ground with the angel wings. And then Raphael shows up. They're like fighting, I suppose. And Raphael is about to fucking kill this guy when suddenly, Balthazar shows up, and he has a like, a giant rock of salt, I would assume. And it starts glowing. Raphael turns into a pillar of salt. It is so fucking corny that Balthazar has to go, "Oh, yeah, same thing happened to Lot's wife." [C: Yeah.] Like, fuck off! We all read Slaughterhouse-Five!

C: I know already. We all fucking know about Lot's wife. We've read the poetry and the Bible.

G: Cas goes, "You came back!" Balthazar's like, "Yeah, no. Raphael's gonna need to find a new body, so like, it's fine." And Dean shows up and drops a lighter onto a ring of holy oil. [C: Somehow.] How did they ever plan this shit? How do they ever plan this shit?

C: I don't know. Well, you know, we were only getting like, I think, shots of like, Balthazar and Cas's faces during that conversation. [both laugh] Maybe Dean was crawling around on the floor in a circle around him with holy oil, we just didn't see it in the shot!

G: Yeah, he was actually Naruto running around Balthazar this whole time. It just wasn't relevant to our journey. [C: Exactly.] Balthazar calls Dean a hairless ape. He seems to have some hair.

C: Yeah. And is it blond or brown?

G: Let's not get into it. [both laugh] And Dean is like, "Okay, what you're going to do is you're going to remove the marker off Aaron Birch's soul." And Balthazar is like, "Wow! You're going to let this fucking hairless ape talk to me like this, Castiel?" And Cas goes, "Yes." And Balthazar's like, "Okay, fine." And then he clears the boy's debt. "His soul is his own." We, of course, never see this, never see a follow-up, never see anything. [C: Yeah.] They don't even seem to give a fuck about the like- Again, the soul thing is probably fine. They did just torture this kid, though. Are we not gonna acknowledge that? Did he also remove the torture? Like- [laughs] What's happening?

C: Yeah, we know that Cas can remove memories. I feel like it would be a kindness to remove the memory of the torture, but he doesn't have the luxury!

G: Dean asks, "Why are you buying souls, anyway?" And Balthazar goes, "Well, in this economy, it's probably the only thing worth buying."

C: Okay, sure, Balthazar. I know that Cas has-

G: Is he a crypto bro? [both laugh] Maybe he is a crypto bro. [C: Maybe.] Maybe if we stink of souls as some sort of cryptocurrency, then everything makes sense.

C: Well, Cas swallows all the souls in Purgatory in order to have enough power to defeat Raphael, so is this a similar situation? But okay, why does Balthazar need all that shit if all he wants to do is have twelvesomes and hang out, as he said he was doing on Earth?

G: Have what? Souls? You'll figure that out next time.

C: Okay, cool. [laughs]

G: Balthazar is like, "Okay, well, now, you gotta release me." And Dean's like, "No, we don't!" but Cas does.

C: Wait wait wait, okay. So if an angel has the power to reduce the flames of holy fire [G: But only if they're outside.], why don't the angels in the circle do it and then leave?

G: Because they're like, powered down on the inside.

C: Okay. Is that real?

G: No. [C laughs] But I assume it is. [C: Okay.] How else are you gonna explain this?

C: That they just didn't think about it too hard?

G: Cas tells Balthazar like, "My debt to you is cleared." So they're equal now, because, you know, Balthazar turned Raphael to a pillar of salt and Cas let him go! And Dean, as Balthazar leaves, Dean shouts at Cas, "Are you out of your mind?!" But as he turns around, Cas is also gone. [C: Yay!] And he's like, "Oh, fucking angels!" Well, he says, "Frigging angels. Come on!"

C: "Come on!"

-

C: You know, we're post-case, and Sam and Dean are trying to cram all the stuff in Sam's car trunk into the Impala now.

G: There's a scene where they pick up like- Sam finds a Halloween costume! [C: Yeah.] - just like me with Dean Winchester - in the like far end of the trunk, and he takes it out, and it's a mask of the monster from Season 1, Episode 2. [C: Yeah.] But they don't say it like that. [laughs] They don't say, "Oh, this is the monster from Season 1, Episode 2!" They just say it straight up. And like, yeah, Dean is like, "Oh, yeah, that's for Ben's Halloween costume." with the implication that he made it because it's an accurate representation, apparently. [C: Right.] Which is pretty fun.

C: So they have a convo where Dean's asking Sam like, "Are you okay? You've been kind of sus. Why weren't you against Cas torturing a child?"

G: "Are you a child torturer, Sam?" [C laughs] And Sam basically goes, "Well, you are. But like, I don't have to be. But I am, so who give a fuck?"

C: Dean says, "It just seems like you didn't care," and Sam goes, "You're wrong!" Dean says that something's up with him, and "I feel like something happened to you in Hell. I understand that it really fucks somebody up." He says, "Believe me, I know what that does to a guy," and Sam says, "To you."

G: "To you." To one guy.

C: So funny! So fucking funny!

G: No, this is hilarious.

C: And Dean's like, "What?" And Sam goes, "You know what it does to you. It tortured you, you know. I think it still does. But I'm okay." [both laugh] He's soo funny. [G: He's so funny!] He said, "RIP to you, but I'm different."

G: Literally, and he is.

C: He is! Dean's like, "What, you’re saying you’re stronger than me?" And Sam says, "No, I'm just saying, RIP to you, but we're different."

G: Yeah. "I'm built different, Dean."

C: And they drive off.

G: That's it. What did we think about this episode? [C: Ugh.] I think they're building up to like- In terms of what it contributes to the show, they are building up to something. [C: Yeah.] I wish they didn't use antiblack police brutality as a way to build up that Sam and Cas are slowly turning evil or whatever the fuck.

C: [laughs] Yeah. I agree with that statement.

G: Also, just like that IMDb user once said, what is up with Supernatural and torture? What  the fuck is their deal with torture?

C: Maybe if Sam and Dean learned some people skills. Crowley is supposed to be the negotiator, and like, he doesn't even-

G: His negotiation is just torture. [laughs]

C: Yeah, just torture and then killing some other people and being like, "You'll die if you don't tell me!" [both laugh] Like, what is this? It's like these writers don't even believe in the power of the word!

G: Yeah! Best Line/Worst Line?

C: Uh... "To you." [laughs] is my best line.

G: Is your best line? No, yeah, that's pretty fun.

C: Yeah. The people skills rusty multi-dimensional intent is good, too.

G: I think on the sequence of funny Cas lines, I do find the "That is still the saying, yes?" [C laughs] quite hilarious. And I mean, offshoot of it, "Why would any of you listen to me?" [both laugh] is also really fucking funny if I'm being for real.

C: I don't think it was intended to be.

G: I mean, I know, but it is.

C: And is it the best line?

G: I would say it's pretty hilarious.

C: Yeah, worst line, "Don't you think the police will take him home?"

G: I think Cas saying, "I don't have the privilege." and the way they frame that as like, a reveal to Dean or whatever [C: Yeah.] that allows him to accept the fate of this kid who is not his to accept.

C: Don't like it!

G: Okay. What's our next one? Spread those sheets?

C: Yeah. There is racism.

G: I do think it's a 4 or 5. I think it's fundamental to the episode, [C: Yeah, I agree.] and I think it's really bad.

C: Yeah. Well, which which of the two are we going for?

G: What do you think about it?

C: I don't know.

G: Have we ever done a 5?

C: We did a 5 for "Hammer of the Gods," but I don't think everything needs to be "Hammer of the Gods" to be a 5.

G: So let's go 5.

C: Yeah, I think 5 is reasonable. Misogyny, I think a bit with the sex worker at the beginning.

G: 1?

C: Yeah, 1 makes sense. I don't remember any homophobia. We did say there was queerbaiting but like-

G: I don't think that's a point, yeah. [C: Yeah.] What's our next one. Ratings.

C: IMDb. If I had to guess, I'd say this is the highest of- Oh, wait! Who's- I'm odd. Yeah, okay. I'd say this is the highest of Season 6 so far in terms of what I think people would enjoy.

G: We have two 7.8s.

C: We have a 7.6 and a 7.8. So yeah, I don't know.

G: The trajectory says that this would be higher.

C: Yeah, but I don't know how much higher because I don't know what the new standards of Season 6 are. So I'm just gonna say an 8.0?

G: Oh, me too!

C: Sad!

G: 8.0. Okay, let's see.

C: Are we diversifying our portfolio? No, you're just going to go with it?

G: Okay, I'm gonna go 8.1, then. [C: Okay.] Okay, let's see. Ha! It's an 8.1!

C: Oh! Congratulations!

G: Thank you.

C: What are people saying?

G: "I really enjoyed this episode. Castiel is back." "The way he and the brothers communicate is just great. I really enjoyed their reunion," blah blah blah.

C: [laughs] "This is not our Sam. Sam would never hire a prostitute."

G: Noo, is this something they really said?

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: This one says, "Something is still off with Sam...and his new shiny car just had to go :), so at least that part will be right now :)" "Balthazar is pretty darn hot and interesting"? [C laughs] Has anyone ever felt that way apart from this person? "Cas is back!"

C: I think it's because people like British accents, which may or may not be his accent. [both laugh]

G: "The gore level moved way up this episode."

C: Yeah, this person thinks that the gore level is up because Sera Gamble likes more gruesome scenes. I believe it. You've mentioned this as a bit of a Season 6 staple.

G: Yeah. Many people love Cas.

C: Yeah, okay, this episode mentions that it "apes Black Lives Matter for social color, and it all feels cheap and ill-planned."

G: Yeah, it does. Okay, this one. I'm gonna read this whole thing. This one is 2/10, "Awful second half." "So here's what's wrong with this episode, and what will eventually kill the series." [C laughs] Written in October 9, 2010, by the way, so they don't know anything. "We start off with a bang as three police officers die incredibly gory deaths. Turns out someone has put a hex on the three, and Sam and Dean are in town to check things out. So far, so good. The hex is caused by misuse of Moses' staff, which has been stolen by an angel, and Sam and Dean must retrieve the staff just as if they were in an episode of Warehouse 13 or Friday the 13th - The TV series." [both laugh] Evocative. "From there, it's all downhill, as we find out is heaven is still at war. The rest of the episode is dull stuff with Castiel (who was OK for a story arc but not as a recurring character) [C laughs] has words with some other angels, and fights breakout. Dull, dull, dull. The thing that killed GHOST WHISPERER"--[C: Your favorite!] A TV show I love, by the way.--"was an increasingly maudlin tone and the overuse of Hewitt's real-life beau in a recurring role as a college prof. The poor guy couldn't act his way out of a paper bag, [laughs] and this plus the maudlin stuff eventually did in GW. The overuse of heavenly wars, and Castiel himself will kill SUPERNATURAL. [both laugh] But then, the show has been on for six seasons. And as much as I'd like to see it go another six, the writers have hit bottom for plots. [C: So true.] We watched THE X-FILEs die a painful death in its last two or three seasons. Now we apparently have to witness the same for SUPERNATURAL. It is a real shame." [C laughs]

C: It is. A real shame.

G: It's literally fine!

C: This person has 700 reviews.

G: I don't know. I'm holding out hope that Season 6 may not be that bad, but given the trajectory of where we are right now as people and as a podcast, probably not. [laughs] And the TV show Supernatural.

G: That’s it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. [C laughs] Next week, we will be discussing Season 6, Episode 4: "Weekend at Bobby’s"! [C: Nice.] Nice. Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-POD. Thanks to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod, which is where our outtakes live, and check out our merch at babpod.redbubble.com.

G: You can email us your feedback, comments, or inquiries at bustyasianbeautiespod@gmail.com. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

[kedreeva]

I hatr and love saying this at the same time but goddamn ked you were right the whole fucking demogorgon steve jonathan nancy scene stinks of ot3 i just got to the bit where they emded up in will room and like?? The hand grab?? The jump?? Yeah you were fucking right goddamn

I also pet someone else's barn cats yesterday

the hand grab is everything okay

Because like?? Jonathan could have left him there. King Steve was a dick to him, literally said terrible things to him this same day, he's got his hands full dragging Nancy away from a fight, and getting himself to safety too, but no. He stops and grabs Steve's hand too. Jonathan's heart is so big!! And Steve just instantly accepting Jonathan's lead.... ugh.

YEP

He really was sweet back in season 1. And honestly, he's still sweet to El, he's just a dumb teenage boy with no good frame of reference for dating. He's doing his best for her still in the other seasons (well. some parts of S3 are a mess, but that's not his fault for once, and some parts of 4 are a mess and that IS his fault).

Okay, gonna try to go chronologically from here:

time to put them through the horrors

Although I think it's really important to.... everything? that Steve and Nancy were getting it on while Barb was dragged off into the upside down. For like... so many reasons. First because like, that's going to give Nancy some Problems, a complex you might say, she is never ever going to feel like she can really relax again because if she lets herself relax then someone else might die. She's also struggling because she won't choose a significant other over a friend again- this is a HUGE part of season 4 even though they never say it out loud. Jonathan's moved to cali and he's been hoping she would come visit during spring break but she *can't* do that. She can't choose that for herself. He's worried that if he goes to a different college than her that she'll choose to come follow him, not realizing that she literally would never, because of the same reasons he won't leave to go see her or go to her college.

The other thing is like... I don't think anything less would have broken her and Steve. Not as completely. There's no way she's not going to be gunshy (lol LISTEN different kind of gun) about being with him because she's going to think of that night when they touch. How can she not? She chose him over her best friend and her best friend literally died from it (let's not even get into the idea that maybe if Barb hadn't been the one outside at the pool, it could have been Steve sitting out there or cleaning up alone after Nancy left, there may never have been a good choice to make, she might always have lost one of them and then both of them). And I just... also don't think that Nancy would have woken up to what she didn't want, if their disagreement over Barb hadn't festered like it does. Steve wants 6 kids and a steady job and insurance and taxes and a white picket fence. Nancy might just have settled for it, to keep him, if she hadn't been thrown so violently into her circumstances.

ANYWAY I don't have feelings :|

You will get to see Brenner die, and it will be SO FUCKING SATISFYING. It's not slow or torturous, not in the way you're thinking but it's fabulous. You will love it, promise. It's in season 4.

Also!!! Send me a prompt for Eleven + cat and I will write that shit, she deserves to cuddle a cat.

GLEE

Me, holding hopper by the scruff while opening the centrifuge: oh??

this makes me want to write a fic about him seeing things before season 1 begins. Things the lab contains. Encounter with 8, where she made him hallucinate things in order to escape him. SOMETHING. oh you haven't met 8. well!!

She'll get him again later too, for going after Mike again

I'm guessing yes, as it's the closest thing. I'm not sure who was first to write about 'the hideout' as a thing, I don't specifically remember seeing anything with The Hideout on it as opposed to 'the hideaway' in this season, but again... I don't always watch scenery. So it's possible there's both a The Hideout and a The Hideaway. But I'm thinking someone either invented it and everyone else went "sure" or else they didn't quite remember the name.

*grin* it's about the growing on you... slowly and almost without notice

The point where hopper gives up trying to pretend and just punches the guy is one of my favorites. Like hopper listen your specialty is not being subtle, bluffing is not your thing. Leave that to Nancy. but also yeS YES!!! Hopper finally joining in the official plotline!!

yessssss

and honestly I still have hope for Mike in season 5.... maybe THIS time it will be better....

Jonathan experiences his fair share of "I'm an idiot teenager" but overall I still love him. He's going to have some more growth he needs to do in Season 5, too, if he expects Nancy to stick around. I know, in my head, that the writers want her to choose steve or whatever, but she really does love jonathan, and what they've had so far is worth working through the problems they're about to face. Maybe that's just my common sense talking, but I'm a little tired of seeing relationships in media end at the first speedbump when the issue is something that could be fixed fairly easily, ESPECIALLY when characterization so far has been that they're willing to fight for each other literally and figuratively.

h hhgnnhhghg I would write this too, I would write Steve helping him tie is because he knows how, he's had to do it a bunch of times for his dad's stuff. Trying to show jonathan on himself so jon can copy, except Jon's not getting it and Steve gets confused trying to do it to someone else from the front, so he goes around behind Jonathan and ties it for him over his shoulders "are you watching" no, absofuckinglutely not steve he's too busy short circuiting

I don't know which part is odd, but you're right. The only thing a funeral is good for is having someone attend that is Mysterious or Dramatic about it.

Honestly as far as I remember they basically drop the meds thing after season 1 which really just makes me wonder if you're RIGHT that he was not actually hallucinating anything, that he was seeing Upside Down shit before anyone else and once he learned oh fuck it's real then he stopped. would make sense how he's so ready to believe in all of it once he catches a whiff of it, too.

I MEAN. not for nothing but Keery's in a band IRL iirc and I think he sings? but yeah steve probably can actually sing, too, which tickles me pink

I'm telling you, I'm waiting for Karen to snap. I'm waiting. She's gotta. There's things we don't know about Karen and I'm WAITING for the tiger to get out of that cage.

Dustin is amazing and I love him. He'll continue to be the sensible creature he is throughout. HE IS VERY STEADY!!! even-keeled baby.

okay I'm gonna go do some chores, I'll get the rest when I'm back in :D

[doctorofmagic]

@junoofthestars said:

concept: nightmare as a shapeshifter-esque villain who can take on different roles in order to properly psychologically torture stephen. like, wouldn't it be awesome if we got a scene where nightmare confronted stephen using donna's image?

and they could have different actors portray nightmare during different scenes and it'd be wicked

I love this concept so much cause, really, he doesn't shapeshift that much but he's the master of dreams so it would make perfect sense!! Also there's this one issue in which he was presented as a female so OF COURSE I'LL DIG THIS. I know it's hard for many actors to do the same character but that's a very interesting concept imo.

@wavy-arms said:

I'm honestly still pissed that Stephen only gets to mention his dead sister ONE time in a DOCTOR STRANGE movie but we had to see Wanda be sad about her fake-ass kids over and over.

Not the NFT kids having more focus than the actal protagonist knowing that they had a full tv show to explore them. This is going to be my joker origin.

@i-sudoku said:

I was just about to post about a missed opportunity. The Donna scene could have shown when Stephen stepped on the memory disc or whatever it was called in 838. That would leave deeper impression to understand who Stephen was and why he needed to "hold the knife". He could bond with America about losing family members and feeling guilty.

@mckiwiwrites said:

I love Christine but when he stepped on that memory plate, it should’ve been Donna.

Donna shaped who Stephen is more than Christine could ever hope to. It doesn’t even have to be the memory of her death, just a happy memory in general. The audience would see how carefree Stephen used to be, how happy he was, and the audience would think “why haven’t we ever heard of her then?” When Stephen talks about her death and gets choked up over it, the audience would be more sympathetic towards Stephen and have an emotional connection with her than just a name drop provided. Donna holds no meaning to people who don’t already know Stephen’s backstory. Plus, the line “but we don’t talk about that, do we?” would hold a lot more meaning, because “why haven’t we ever heard of her then?” That’s why.

(It would also make Stephen’s relationship with America have that much more depth.)

ALL OF THIS 👏

I think the animated movie did a better job at representing Donna's death's impact in Stephen's life, and how his need to control death is directly connected to his trauma. I know the circumstances are different from 616 (in the animated movie, she died in the operation room after Stephen refused to accept her cancer), but it always comes to this point in time. He decided to be a doctor when she got injured during their childhood. He was born to be a healer and I think the whole MCU failed to show this part of his subjectivity, which is sad. I can only hope that they don't drop the ball next time, especially now that Clea was introduced.

[vivithefolle]

Can I join your anti-Hermione club? Is there an application form? (In all seriousness, I'm so glad there's someone on Tumblr who is anti-Hermione for good reasons. It drives me absolutely insane how much the fandom worships her. I respect her intelligence, but there are so many absurdly unethical things she does. The hexing of Marietta Edgecombe - I researched it, it's both against contract law and would almost certainly be considered assault - was crazy, and even crazier was that it's excused.)

Hahaha, no application form needed, just a lot of bitterness and a touch of rage.

Something that really annoys me is how people are trying to tell me I'm doing Hermione-bashing when I give her the what-for. Or try to say "but she was a teenager :(". Really, freaking really? So when Hermione scars people on the face she's being a teenager but when Ron is pissy for a night in fourth year he's a total asshole? No, nope, not gonna let that lie.

My issue is that Ron's mistakes are teenager-sized; making an ass of yourself during a soirée, dating someone you're not really interested in because you're flattered by the attention, getting mad at your friend over silly stuff, saying stupid things without thinking... teenage mistakes. Those are teenage mistakes. (Something could be said of his leaving on the Horcrux Hunt but. Bitches. Voldemort himself (a part of him at least) was there singling him out for torture. Not to mention the heavy blood loss, the fact that his family's in danger, etcetera... But of course nobody is willing to accept those circumstances, nooo, it's only Ron who's the sole responsible for leaving absolutely, right, "Hermione is a teenager :(" and "Harry has PTSD :(((" but Ron isn't allowed to have problems of course. Fucking hypocrites.)

Meanwhile Hermione wakes up everyday and chooses violence and not for good reasons. I mean when your first reflex to distract someone is to set them on fire surely that indicates some issues? (Later on she forgets that she can use magic to light a fire... against a plant. I mean. How. How do you come to the conclusion that you should light a person on fire to "distract" them but cannot apply that reasoning to a goddamn killer plant.) The thing is people just... because we're constantly told that Hermione is intelligent/has good grades/works hard, people are quick to assume that she's obviously the most mature one in the room. But being a hard worker isn't necessarily a "proof" of maturity. It's just that people's expectations are that "a studious kid" is a mature kid, but really what they mean by "mature" is "doesn't annoy me to hell and back by playing noisily".

There’s this huge manipulation that plays on people’s expectations: being coded as “the studious girl” people are told through stereotypes that Hermione is smart, mature and logical… and the text is quick to try to reinforce the idea by having her spout definitions (=”smart”, for a degree of it; it’s mostly good memory), scold others for being rowdy (=mature, except that she’s not above it all either and a big part of maturity also involves REALIZING YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES which, Hermione’s don’t, so oops) and have her solve some puzzles or explain things (=logical… but sometimes her reasoning is based on emotion and she just tries to find evidence to justify why she thinks it’s right, rather than go from one thing to another).

When people try to brush off the fucked-up things Hermione did with "well she was a teenager" or "it was the war effort"... no. Fuck no. She didn't have to wipe her parents' minds and memories, there was the Order, the Dursleys were treated better than Hermione's parents for God's sake. But the only thing that matters about Hermione's parents is that they can be conveniently sacrificed to let us know how brave their daughter is right, it's not like she's in anything called the House of the Brave or something, it's not like she's constantly being thrown in mortal danger and is scared but keeps pushing forward, no we absolutely HAD to have a plot point that involves Hermione destroying two people's identities so we know how brave she is (how was any of it brave? Bravery is risking yourself, not the life of two innocents who barely know what's going on and are in no position to fight back).

And with the Romione fandom trying to push back to "nooo but she was a teenager m'kay she had her reasons for everything"... You want to get back to the Dark Ages where Hermione can do anything to Ron and it's his fault for not being perfect enough for her? Because that's how you go back to the Dark Ages.

In concept I love Romione. In the books I love it till about Book 3 (and even then that's pushing it because Hermione's utter disregard for Ron's pet sits very unwell with me, BUT okay fine she's still a child, it's her first pet, she has no idea how to own a pet and she's not used to being mindful of others' feelings. Then she gets validated by the plot because Scabbers was Pettigrew and somehow that means Hermione wasn't horribly callous to Ron's feelings or anything... meanwhile had it been Ron buying Crookshanks and Scabbers being Hermione's pet everyone would have been like "but who cares that Ron was right in the end, do you see how horribly he hurt poor Hermione's feelings!!!"...

It's just. No more excuses. Hermione is fucked-up. As a person, not just because of the war. She had a vicious, vindictive streak that only got enabled through the books because she never was called out on it. And I mean, I'm all for standing up for yourself, or for slapping Draco Malfoy's bitchy ass ferret face. But fuck. When you're doing the magic equivalent of an acid attack on someone's face, when you're physically abusing someone you're supposed to love AND THREATEN TO DO IT AGAIN AS IF IT WAS SOMETHING CUTE OR QUIRKY, when you're brainwashing your own parents into compliance because you can't be bothered to lie to them or make the Order get them... You know how many fics I've seen that take the "I did actually Confund my examiner" exchange from the Epilogue and run away with it to make it so Ron gets in a horrible car accident or invent entire collapses of the Statute of Secrecy as a result of an investigation connected to this "ha ha look it's funny Ron cheated on his exam" moment? Why don't I ever see a fic talking about how Hermione erasing her parents from existence leads to the destruction of Wizarding society through the legal bullshit that follows? Because Hermione dear, did you think to alter "Wendell" and "Monica"'s birth certificates? Their marriage contract? Their VISAs? Their bank accounts? Otherwise you've just turned your parents into homeless vagrants hopelessly lost in Australia who can't ever find a home anywhere because they simply don't exist in the eyes of any government. But hey nobody ever thinks of that because it's so much easier to nitpick everything Ron does. The only thing folks notice about Hermione nowaday is Emma Watson's boobies.

... I'm sorry, I just... Ugh. People.

[mimisempai]

Let my love erase all your doubts

Summary:

While traveling with Loki in Asgard on a mission for the TVA, Mobius stumbles upon what appears to be a tender moment between Sif and his lover. When Loki finds him in their room, Mobius lets his jealousy take possession of him to Loki's great surprise.

Tumblr request :

How about writing a jealous Mobius as he and Loki are in Asgard? Loki paying attention to someone else that's not family?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/33122341

1781 words - Rating M - 🔞⚠️NSFW

"Hahaha! No! Did he really do that?!"

"Yes he did, Sif, I swear! I don't know if at that moment it was jealousy or disappointment because I had betrayed him, but he really did."

Mobius, recognizing Loki's voice and still trying to find his way through the endless hallways of Asgard, used the sound of Loki's voice to direct himself. He arrived in front of a room closed just by a curtain.

Through the curtain, he saw his lover sitting close and laughing with Sif, the young, athletic and attractive woman that Mobius had used to "torture" Loki.

But now it was Loki who looked very intimate with the young woman.

Mobius didn't know what held him back, but he remained in the doorway, not signalling his presence.

"I admit," Sif continued, "That many times I've had the urge to punch you in the face, but to put you through this over and over again... terrific."

Loki grimaced at the memory.

"But tell me, Mobius and you, is this all serious?" the young woman asked softly. She whispered something else to Loki  that Mobius couldn't hear.

Loki answered, a smile in his voice, "It's true that I prefer when they are well groomed, elegant, in short, classy. But this one, even though it's ordinary, is really more practical. It fits better with what I am now. I'm not really a prince anymore, so I don't need all that elegance."

Sif muttered something again that Mobius could not understand.

Loki answered in the same tone as before.

"Hahaha, yes I know, but for now I'll settle for it, until I find a model that combines elegance and efficiency."

Mobius didn't wait to hear more, so he left with a rush, consumed by anger and disappointment.

"Mobius, my friend! Did you find my brother?"

Mobius took a deep breath to try and keep his composure and replied to Thor, "No but that's okay, I'll go to our room, get some rest."

He moved quickly under the thoughtful gaze of the god of thunder.

He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to the door and did not hear Loki enter a few moments later.

"Mobius?"

Mobius replied in a cold tone, "So? Finished your little interlude with your precious Sif?"

"One in every port, right? Or rather one in every planet? After all, it's true, with so many years of life..."Loki stood in front of him, looking completely uncomprehending.

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

Mobius had an angry scowl on his face, his lips pursed, and did not answer.

"Mobius?"

He didn't answer and instead got up and quickly approached Loki, grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, so strongly that Loki's feet almost didn't touch the ground and kissed him full on the lips. The kiss had nothing tender, however, even if Loki was surprised by this abrupt and wild side of Mobius, and never the excitement had risen so quickly. He wanted to grab Mobius's head to deepen the kiss even more but Mobius didn't let him and pulled back, saying with a hard voice, "Don't touch me!" and then resumed the kiss in an even wilder way.

Loki, more and more surprised, but enjoying this dominating side, let himself be completely done. His crotch pressed against Mobius' thigh and he began to rub himself, feeling his hardness grow, he had never been so hard so fast.

Mobius pulled back again and asked in the same cold tone, "And that's fancy enough? and that's classy enough?" before devouring Loki's lips again. Loki's mind was so foggy with desire that he didn't understand what Mobius was saying.

Mobius pressed his thigh against Loki's groin and moved faster and faster and Loki felt the pleasure rising and his orgasm approaching at the speed of a tornado.

Mobius moved aside again and spat out, "I'm convenient right? You like using me like this?" before continuing what he was doing, and Loki, too far into the pleasure, didn't even hear, as his orgasm took him over.

Mobius released him abruptly and Loki had to lean against the dresser behind him to keep from falling.

Slowly coming back from his lightning climax and catching his breath, Loki opened his eyes to see that Mobius was there, frozen, the image of anger, fists clenched and breathing heavily. Little by little Loki's mind realized that there was something very wrong.

"Mobius?"

Mobius looked at him with icy eyes, "I'm convenient huh, not elegant but convenient. How did you tell your dear Sif? Ah yes, ordinary, until you find something better."

Loki, didn't understand anything, and replayed the last few hours in his head, but he couldn't see what Mobius was getting at.

"But Mobius, what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me Loki, I just heard you tell Sif! You prefer style and elegance. Which I obviously don't have, but you're content with me, since I'm convenient for you, right?"

Then Loki understood everything and could not help but laugh.Mobius, shocked, said, "That's right, laugh at me!  Loki, how could you?"

"Mobius, stop! You're completely wrong, I swear I wasn't talking about you! Wait!"

Loki pulled the flaps of his own jacket forward and said to Mobius, "I meant the outfit, my outfit."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me right now!"

"Love, give me your hand, I'll show you our whole conversation."

Loki brought Mobius' hand to his temple and projected the discussion he had with Sif.

"But tell me, Mobius and you, is this all serious?" the young woman asked softly. She leaned over and whispered in Loki's ear, "I'm surprised by your outfit, you're not even wearing your prince's clothes anymore."

"It's true that I prefer when they are well groomed, elegant, in short, classy. But this one, even though it's ordinary, is really more practical. It fits better with what I am now. I'm not really a prince anymore, so I don't need all that elegance."

Sif whispered, "No, but you don't even wear your helmet anymore.

Loki answered in the same tone as before.

"Hahaha, yes I know, but for now I'll settle for it, until I find a model that combines elegance and efficiency."

"Well, now that we've talked about clothes, you didn't answer the first part of my question, Mobius and you, is this serious?"

There was no mockery nor judgment in her voice.

Loki lost his playful look, his face took on a serious expression and his voice was firm and determined as he replied, "Sif, this is the most serious relationship I have ever had. Mobius is... Mobius has been the unexpected on my path of destruction, the surprise I never thought I would have. He has made me better... even greater, he manages to make me believe that I can be better."

Sif hugged him and said, her eyes shining with emotion, "When you talk about him like that, I feel like I'm seeing the young Loki running around and going out on the town with his brother again. I'm happy for you. Really."

Loki gently removed Mobius' hand from his temple and kept it in his own.

"I..." Mobius seemed to deflate like a balloon. He went to sit on the edge of the bed again, took his head in his hands and said in a breath, "I'm sorry..."

Loki went to sit next to him and just put his hand on his thigh, waiting for Mobius to calm down a bit.

After a few moments of silence, Mobius spoke up again, "How can you be here like this, when I just behaved in such a despicable way?"

"Hey Mobius, did I say no? And if I had said no, would you have stopped?"

"Yes, of course!" protested Mobius at once.

"You see?" replied Loki softly, "To tell you that I wasn't surprised would be a lie. And to say I didn't like it would also be a lie. Would I mind a repetition? Yes, but certainly not with you in that state of mind. Because it's now obvious that you didn't enjoy it at all."

"I'm sorry I misunderstood."

"That I think is the next topic we need to talk about, right now actually." Loki took Mobius' chin in his hand to make him look up before continuing, "Mobius, how could you jump to such conclusions?"

"I... sometimes I have this feeling of inadequacy, that I'm not good enough for t-"

"Oh Mobius, look at me, I'm the one who should be saying that. You've seen all my darkness, all the evil I'm capable of. I'm the one who sometimes thinks that one day you'll realize that I'm not worthy of your love."

"Loki, never doubt my feelings for you. I told you from the beginning that I knew you were capable of good, even before there was anything between us, and you proved it to me again and again."

Loki grabbed Mobius' hand and intertwined his fingers in it.

"We're getting to where I wanted to. Yes I know your feelings and I believe in them, and that's what makes me overcome this feeling of not being suitable, because I know that you love me. And so, I say to myself that if you can't overcome this feeling of inadequacy, it's maybe because you don't have the same faith in my love? Mobius, you know that I love you, don't you?"

"Yes I know that, but every now and then that little voice gets a little louder, especially when I see you with someone younger, someone prettier."

Loki pressed his forehead against Mobius' and whispered, his lips against his, "So I want you to try every time you have that voice in your head, to remember that exact moment."

He closed the distance between them and kissed Mobius tenderly before pulling back and telling him looking into his eyes. "I love you Mobius. You are perfect for me."

A single tear escaped from Mobius' eyes, and Loki wiped it away with his thumb before hugging Mobius. And they stayed like that for a long time.

Then Mobius felt Loki laugh in his hair. He straightened up and looked at him with a curious look.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking that under different circumstances, I wouldn't mind re-doing what happened before."

Mobius laughed and brought his lips closer to Loki, who was happy to again find the sparkling sparkle in his lover's eyes and his irresistible smile.

Then he was no longer able to think, because that was the effect Mobius had as soon as he placed his lips on his.

_________

Belongs this series : Together, For all time, Always

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd and english is not my native language I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless🥰

[lnkedmyheart]

Thoughts on All The Young Dudes

The following opinions are based on my reading of ATYD as a standalone novel. I didn't really link it entirely to HP so to me ATYD marauders aren't exactly the HP Marauders even if I do consider the events of HP as an extension to ATYD. It's kind of hard to explain but the main point is, I didn't read ATYD as a fanfic but as a seperate story.

Finished ATYD today. I started by reading it but then I developed a really bad migraine so I switched over to the audio version on yt by Fleur's Uploads, definitely recommend for anyone who likes podfics and doesn't have the time or energy to sit down and read this door stopper. I just put it on and went around my regular chores.

I genuine loved the way it's written and I have a newfound love for a lot of characters. I also never truly cared much for the marauders in canon because of how badly developed they were along with many other side characters. Now I genuinely love all of them, even Wormtail is well done in that pitiful awful person way because despite knowing that he was the traitor from day one I couldn't help but feel somewhat sorry for him. They all had to make a choice and he made his as nasty as it was.

I actually like how Remus only found out about the Potters and Sirius later. It hit harder because he wasn't even there for it. That emptiness and lack of closure was...awful.

My only partial gripe with the story in general was the way Sirius was told that "you're not special" about having spent 12 years being tortured in isolation in Azkaban. It's not that he was the only one who suffered but he didn't exactly get a chance to grieve. Yea sure Remus lost his best friends and his partner seemingly betrayed him but he also had Mary and Grant who genuinely cared for him. He was justifiably depressed and isolated himself by choice. But Sirius also lost his best friends, got betrayed by someone he put his trust in, got tossed into a prison where he got parts of his soul sucked out regularly for 12 years all while knowing that everyone including his partner thought he was the person who killed his best friends.

Like...they both suffered a lot but there it felt like Sirius' suffering was reduced to "moping" instead of justifiable upset at his circumstance. He went from one war, to torture to another, never truly got to grieve and got called out when he lashed out. It felt...too harsh. Though I still did like it. Like I said, it's a partial grievance. The only person who calls him out like that is Grant who has no idea how Azkaban works and his priority would always be Remus. Plus since Remus and Sirius are extremely flawed people and aren't supposed to be ideal relationship it felt accurate. They're both hurt and angry and tired.

I like Grant, I think he's my favorite. But I'm glad he left because he deserved to be someone's first priority. I also don't think Grant and Remus were good for each other tbh. Grant would have been good to everyone just like with Remus given he loved them the same way but Remus is...flawed and aggressive and I think the hotheaded werewolf in him needed the fight Sirius gave him. Their push and pull felt equal, and at several points they seemed to sort of enjoy their fights. Grant felt more like he took on the role of a caregiver than an equal and it was hard to see that dynamic as someone at a more experienced age.

(This section is general hp rambling)

A not so funny side note, I had completely forgotten about Tonks and Remus as a couple. As a kid when I first read the story they had seemed pretty cool although sudden, but I never really went back to really look and uhh...as I read this I got more and more disturbed by the pair because I was googling canon dates and ages because I was so thrown off by the sudden reminder of Tonks being Andromeda's kid. I literally had to drop the book and rant to my brother about it. Like...he really married his best friend's cousin's daughter who was 13 years his junior. It dredged up personal bad memories from when I was barely 20 and had started seeing this 31 year old. Like even as a legal consenting adult there was this massive gap in our experiences that I automatically felt somehow inferior and it only occured to me at 25 how much that messed up my mind. But then I got deeper into googling the details, not only did they get together abruptly with Tonk's depression getting cured immediately but they got married less than a month later and had a kid before the year ended. I was floored at that. This isn't even taking into account that this was his best friend's sister's daughter he married. Btw this isn't me saying this as a new fan of wolfstar, this is just me being uncomfortable with a pairing that I didn't really mind before back when I was a teenager or a 20 year old.

I wouldn't have been this shaken up had Tonks been a bit older and emotionally mature (rejection depression and inability to move on isn't glamorous or romantic) and their story was written less like some "love cures all, have babies without worrying about passing on some brutal hereditary illness, have babies during a war when you're smack dab in the middle of it" thing. I also would have been way cooler about this if Tonks wasn't Sirius's niece.

I guess perspectives change when you're older and suddenly so much stuff just feels weird once you experience things and realise somethings are better not touched with a 10 foot pole. I would also like to say I don't really ship wolfstar in canon. I don't have enough attachment to the marauders and I mostly like the ship in ATYD which I see as a standalone story. This realisation did however make me chuckle when Lupin got uncomfortable at the idea of Harry dating Tonks because of the 10 year gap.

Verdict- I like it better than JKR's HP.

I also cannot imagine anyone other than Ben Barnes as Sirius (or Andrew as Remus, AT Johnson as James) so well...thanks for that tiktok.

[itsclydebitches]

Another thing about how rwby views trauma survivors reacting to their abuse or unfortunate background is that it frames the solution to healing is by serving in armed forces. Weiss and Blake joined Beacon to escape their abuser. Ren and Nora joined Beacon after the loss of their families. Winter joined the military to escape Jacques and I'm assuming will become the new Atlas general after Ironwood's death. The Huntsmen Academies are all framed as these safe havens (literally with Mistral) for anyone who can carry a weapon, meanwhile anyone who can't or doesn't want to join, or joins a group outside of the institution is depicted as bad.

To say that this is all muddied would be a huge understatement because even if we put aside the complicated message of, "Overcome your abuse by learning to punch back," at this point the combined huntsmen-military is no longer presented as a means of escape. Rather, between the rewriting of Winter's history – she has apparently been manipulated by Ironwood this whole time rather than choosing the military as a means of escaping her abuser – as well as the military aligned huntsmen – FNKI aren't heroes like RWBYJNOR anymore, willingly protecting their home, they're children who have been forced into this conflict – there's now this major divide between fighters-on-their-own and fighters-as-part-of-the-institution. We could even read this as extending to the huntsmen academies themselves, given that one has fallen, one was destroyed, and the other lost its figurehead. They used to be presented as havens for struggling individuals... now, not so much. The plot's message is not that heroes win by banding together through established structures that were designed to help those coming from bad circumstances (note how aware Ozpin is of these backstories: Qrow's bandit tribe, Blake's White Fang history, looking into Ruby's defense of the store, etc.), but rather you win by rag-tag individuals making decisions based on friendship.

Yet simultaneously, that divide is by no means neat and tidy (since plenty of stories have that latter message). As we've discussed elsewhere, RWBYJNOR is ingrained in these structures despite the story rejecting them. They got their initial training at Beacon (how many fans have argued that they learned enough there? That they're basically full-fledged huntsmen already? So, that school was pretty important, yeah?). They worked with Ironwood for months. They're using the prestige of their licenses to get people to listen to them. They're hijacking military equipment to give the world orders to prepare for an attack. Ruby became a general in all but title in that moment, in the same way that Weiss became the Remnant equivalent of a cop when she tried to arrest her father. Volumes 6-8 suddenly wanted to send an anti-military message without considering the context of their story (what does a military mean in a world where unambiguously evil monsters attack, as opposed to a world where these "monsters" are minorities?) and they failed to separate the heroes from the structures they so passionately reject. You cannot have the group stand in opposition to Ironwood and everything he represents while also encouraging the audience to oohh and ahhh at Jaune whipping out his huntsmen license to lead a group of civilians to safety. The supposed cruelty of the former and supposed heroism of the latter are meant to exist simultaneously, despite the contradiction. We went from the message that huntsmen academies, including Atlas', are a haven from abuse, poverty, etc. but now, suddenly, certain types of escapes are no longer morally sound. So just ignore how many of the heroes took the "wrong" path.

And then on top of all of that we have Rhodes. RWBY is pushing the individualism message hard nowadays – that a group of friends is better than a general and his soldiers just ignore that Ruby is their leader and they all follow her orders – yet it's Rhodes' individuality that is criticized in Cinder's flashback. He, as a single person, tries to take on the complex situation of helping an abused child and he failed. The fandom's reaction to his efforts is pretty telling because most kept falling back on structural solutions: "Why didn't he just call CPS? Why didn't he get her admitted early like Ruby? Why didn't he approach some superior to fix all this?" Most fans seemed to grudgingly acknowledge that kidnapping Cinder and raising this traumatized kid on the road while hunting grimm was... not the best idea, so they turned to the very things they've rejected in Ruby's part of the story: laws that people have to follow, schools with an hierarchy that can serve as support, someone above you whose orders you follow and whose seniority can help you in a tough situation. In Cinder's flashback people wanted Remnant to have structural solutions because, clearly, leaving one flawed man to fix this situation on his own didn't turn out so well. They (and the writers) just don't want Ruby to have to obey those same structures because Ruby is the title hero they've grown to love over eight years. We feel like we know Ruby and we assume that if Ruby is in charge she'd totally make the best decision. But Rhodes? He's a stranger, someone we see for less than ten minutes, so his flaws are far easier to home in on. Few are willing to acknowledge that Ruby is Rhodes on a much larger scale, trying things because she wants to help, but ultimately doing far more harm because she's incredibly inexperienced and is just running on her own, individual ideas, not any of the structures in place that are meant to deal with such crises. Rhodes' "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll teach a tortured kid how to defend herself and hope for the best" is Ruby's "Idk what else to do, so I guess I'll drop Atlas on Mantle, leave with the Relics, move everyone to Vacuo, and hope for the best." The primary difference is that while Rhodes is punished through his death and the narrative makes it clear that this was the wrong choice (Cinder murders everyone and becomes a villain), whereas Ruby's screwups are continually framed as heroic. And that's because the show can't make up its mind about this structural vs. individual approach. Do huntsmen need to be held responsible for their actions, or do they need complete freedom to do the right thing with the belief that anything that goes wrong was completely out of their hands (Yangs' take)? Well, that depends entirely on which huntsmen we're talking about. RWBY's idea that some people are intrinsically good and others intrinsically bad means that the writing – and the fandom – can demand rogue huntsmen be held accountable while simultaneously cheering the group running away from arrest; curse Clover for following orders while simultaneously gushing over how loyal the group is to Ruby; condemn lies that Ozpin gives while simultaneously justifying the ones Ruby gives, etc. RWBY has no clear message, just the insistence that whatever our heroes does is good. The path they've taken, learning to fight to escape horrific situation is a good thing. The path Rhodes laid out, teaching Cinder to fight to escape a horrific situation, is a bad thing. It comes down to the characters, not the situation.

Finally, yeah, there's a complete lack of acknowledgment that either option – structural or individual – alienates those who don't know how to fight. This is seen most clearly in Whitley who asks why he'd want to be a huntsmen when he can afford an army, yet when armies are painted as unquestionably bad, the story won't admit that this leaves Whitley stranded. He had no way to escape his abuse like Winter and Weiss did. He had no way to defend himself when Weiss shoved a weapon in his face. The story never had to grapple with where it's left characters who can't fight and who shouldn't make the evil choice of relying on soldiers because Whitley unexpectedly got on Weiss' good side and gained her protection. It doesn't matter anymore because Whitley is a Good Guy now who the group will take care of. But if he'd continued to disagree? Gone to his room instead of calling Klein? If, in the future, he does something that annoys his sisters and they decide to ignore him like they did before? Well, Whitley is screwed. In a world besieged by grimm – with attacks growing with each volume – he wanted to rely on an army to help solve these problems. But then that was said to be wrong, the general died, and the army, far as we can tell, was left behind to die as well. So what's left? Rely on the huntsmen. Just hope that there are enough (there aren't), that you get a good one (not a Lionheart, or a Raven, or a Cardin, or a Dudley, or...), and that the good ones care enough to bother protecting you. Even if the story hadn't gone out of its way to show how terribly flawed individual huntsmen are – from Lionheart's devastating betrayal to Qrow teaming up with Tyrian – from a practical perspective it's just not enough. Volume 8 showed without a doubt that in a war like this, one built on a witch's ability to summon endless grimm, an army is necessary. Salem would have been into Atlas in a second without those soldiers holding her forces back. Yang, Jaune, and Ren wouldn't have gotten to the whale without that army. Yet the story never acknowledges this, instead pretending like the few individuals we see – the limited numbers the characters keep admitting are horrendously limited – could have somehow saved the day without that assistance. Everything we're seeing nowadays – which characters can use these institutions to escape abuse, which can lie to help the war, which should rely on structures as opposed to their own ideas and physical power – is a mess of inconsistent, often contradictory messages.

[mollymawkwrites]

I just read (and reread sgdfhjlkl) your prison fic for watb and I'm having. Feelings. Primarily about cultivating vulnerability and tenderness in an oppressive and toxic environment which 😭

This AU is giving me so many questions tho. Presuming they continue building a relationship (which of course I'm going to presume) how will it progress? What kind of psychological toll will it take on them to keep up the performance, on Geralt particularly? I imagine it being painful for him to have to be so cold and forceful with Jaskier, especially as they grow closer, but does the greater objective of protecting him make it bearable? I feel like Jaskier would be more able to compartmentalize it, but could it get to be too much for him as well? What happens if it gets to a point where Geralt can't hide his affection for Jaskier, will that be used against them - not only by fellow inmates but by the guards? The wrath of the system is what's getting to me the most. Will Jaskier keeping Geralt "under control" as it were (meaning not tearing through new cellmates on a regular basis) be enough to maintain the status quo or will the guards find it more entertaining to play with them? Splitting them up, putting Jaskier with other more violent inmates or just torturing him themselves to torment Geralt? Will it get to the point where Geralt just tears the entire prison down and they run away to live out their days on the lam, maybe settle down on a lovely little coast in Mexico? (we can only hope) Also, what are they in for in the first place? Will Jaskier get out before Geralt? If Geralt's been routinely assaulting (or murdering??) other inmates is he EVER getting out? What will Jaskier do?

The whole situation has me thinking about the (woefully short) story of Butch and Wesley from the documentary "The Fear of 13" (which is very good, highly recommend and I think it's available on kanopy rn) where they were lovers on the outside and when Butch was arrested Wesley intentionally committed crimes so they could be together. Eventually they got separated and one of them was going to be moved to a different prison so that last night they sang to each other from across the cell block and the (usually tyrannical) guards let them have their goodbye. It's so soft yet tragic and I have so many feelings and I wish we knew what happened to them.

I'm sorry this is such a massively long ask, I've literally been thinking about this all evening and had to make some kind of comment 😅 your writing is lovely and I will definitely be reading more of it! (so maybe I'll be assaulting your inbox again soon dfghjjkl)

Gods Anon, I had such trouble keeping plot from sneaking into this fic, and you are not helping! I've been thinking about it all day long because of you!

I think Geralt would suffer greatly, both from his own self-loathing at "forcing" Jaskier to do things he couldn't possibly want to do with a monster like him 🙄 and from the opinion everyone else around them has of him. Jaskier would try to make him understand that he is very much willing, but Geralt's skull is thick and that would take some time for them to even be able to admit to themselves that they are in a relationship together. Of course having to keep up the act of the White Wolf and its pretty young prey would blur the lines in their relationship: what is an act and what is real? They both enjoy the roughness and the name-calling and the role play more than just for show. I think Jaskier too feels guilty about forcing sweet Geralt into it. Lots of guilt on both sides and no way to deal with it healthily in this violent, toxic environment.

I can see them managing to create a little bubble of happiness together though, despite the guards expecting Jaskier to keep Geralt on a leash and the inmates constantly poking at them to see if something gives. Once they get to talk and explain that they both very much want to be with each other outside of their farce, that, would the circumstances have been different, they would have asked the other on dates and had a sweet first kiss and maybe a house and a dog (not me crying about my own AU), they find a balance and a way to keep other people's venom from chipping at their love. Maybe they find allies too, jail can't be filled only with enemies after all...

As for why they are in jail for in the first place, I have to admit I hadn't settled on an explanation as I was writing it. I think Geralt has been set up by someone, probably Stregobor, because of an event similar to what happened in Blaviken? So while his "crimes" are not as bad as anything Jaskier might be imagining (and oh, imagine the angst potential of Jaskier torturing himself over what the man he is falling in love with could possibly have done to have end up in jail), he still sees himself as a monster who made the wrong choices and is not deserving of Jaskier's love.

For Jaskier, I'm not so sure, to be honest. What do you think he could be in for?

Although I am a sucker for angst, I couldn't survive a bad ending, but I don't have a clue on what could happen to them. They could escape, helped maybe by Eskel and Lambert on the outside, or some of Jaskier's shadiest friends; or Jaskier could find a way to have Geralt pardoned, and Stregobor in jail/killed at the same time, because that's what the fucker deserves.

I haven't heard of that story you talked about, but I'll make sure to check the documentary, it sounds very beautiful and heartbreaking. As I was writing the fic, I remembered that movie with Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, I Love You Phillip Morris, that I used to love as a kid. I might watch it again, for... Inspiration ;)

Thank you so much for your ask, and please, don't hesitate to assault my inbox again, it made my day! (Though I might have to add another WIP to the list now.... sigh)