#but then some questions will be answered forever. thats so crazy

[lavellane]

genuinely easier to cope w the looming prospects of datv when it was 70 days away than it is now that we're currently sitting at 22.

[starry-bi-sky]

#second: op you answered so many questions!!? thank you!! but that is a dangerous game bc now i have /more/ >:)

I will answer as many as I can!!! this is making me literally so happy lmao. And as I said before: if i don't have an answer to one, I'll mention it. (a lot of these are great because I can meditate on the answer and it lets me expand on the au more)

#aaah there is SO much heartache all around in this au!!#how you described the grief danny was feeling before he died - how dying with those emotions means he'll never be free of them? my heart </#just hit again with w how SAD dannys ghost form is in this au - and how will jason respond once he sees it?

I SAW THIS BEFORE I WENT INTO WORK AND MMMM. It made me think so much about my thoughts on how I wanted to expand a little more on his ghost form, and I just thought about adding how his Lichtenberg scars like, converge where his heart is. His left arm has the scarring. And then when you look at where his heart is, there's scarring over it, as if there's a hole there and his heart is missing. His grief has carried onto the afterlife, why not incorporate that into his ghost self more? Raaaa I want it to look like he's perpetually crying under his evil scientist goggles. (post-post addition: i drew it :))

Have you ever listened to 'The Moon Will Sing' from The Crane Wives? That's Danny with his grief over Jason. "The moon will sing a song for me/I loved you like the sun/bore the shadows that you made/with no light of my own/I shine only with the light you gave me"

I don't even know if I need to expand on his grief because we already know how it gets in canon. It's this heavy, destructive thing that hits hard and lasts long. Losing your entire family is different from losing a single person, but if that single person was part of a separate, two person family, then what difference does that make?

#and does he ever see danny fight - not as a scrappy street kid anymore but now trained and experienced! does he learn HE trained danny?

eventually! I can't think of an occasion (yet) where Jason would see Danny fight, but that can totally come later. Maybe if I get possessed again I'll write something. I've had a few ideas about how Danny reveals his ghost form but all of them verge more into the 'cracky, can really only be expanded on in dms cuz they don't follow the theme of the au' territory, and didn't feel satisfactory to the au.

#how would he feel after that declaration of dannys to kill joker? i'd be like wth did i tell him??? and why cant i remember!#poor jason already sweating bullets at the idea of admitting he's still alive after all this time - he has no idea where they even stand no#danny talked to his ghost? his actual ghost? how much does danny know? does he know he was robin? does he know he's HOOD? or about his mom?#there's so much he's wanted to tell danny - how much would he have said as a ghost with apparently nothing else to lose?

YEAH THAT'S EXACTLY IT. Jason watches Danny leave and he's trying to just. Process everything. From seeing his best friend in front of him, to remembering that Danny doesn't know he's Red Hood, to realizing that Danny has been grieving him for the last five years and that he was still grieving. And then Danny tells him that he talked to his ghost? And that he's gonna murder the Joker? Jason is just. He's processing. Your tags capture exactly that: his questions about what does Danny know?

#also: if danny is 19 - jason is 19/20 right? so tbh this is probably not long after his frankly suicidal murder rampage through gotham#so what - admit to danny thats... a lot to admit to

yeah I'll be totally frank I don't know enough about Jason during his Red Hood era to give much of a response to this. I only had a little idea that he even went on a rampage tbh 😅 but now knowing that he went on a murder rampage? Yeah he'd be even less inclined to tell Danny about him. Ignorance is bliss and all that -- even if Danny's ignorance to him being alive is causing him more harm than good. (Jason still doesn't even know that Danny's been searching for him yet).

#and i can kind of get why he might have kept fenton stuff from bruce. either the dr fentons are fine & good or theyre not#either admittance to bruce might feel like betrayel - esp if danny has never said in clear words : i want out of this family#and he must have known them at least a little. shared a small meal at their place? listened to a crazy speech? he might be defensive of the(m)

Oh yeah totally! If Danny hasn't invited Jason over at least once, then his parents have whenever they see him hanging out with Jason. And that brings up one of Jackdaw's tags -- that Danny knows not to touch his parents inventions. And I think even Jason knows that. He remembers whenever Danny's parents talked about repairing the toaster or the fridge, or making an invention with parts laying around the house, that Danny would always immediately drag Jason off to the other room. "I hate it when they do this." He'd complain, "their things are a safety hazard."

And then later he complains to Jason about how whatever invention his parents made or whatever thing they fixed blew up and set off their shit fire alarm and they had to evacuate the building. "I told you it was a safety hazard." He says, and then steals the cigarette from Jason's hands.

Jason knows that Danny wouldn't touch his parents things with a three hundred foot pole. Just imagine how he'd react to finding out that Danny willingly walked into his parents' broken, unstable portal with nothing but a hazmat suit only a week after his funeral :)

Post-posting addition: raaaa even better if Danny even tells Jason about their new lab basement after they move to the new house and Danny routinely mentions that he avoids going in there as much as possible because he doesn’t want to be around whatever half-baked safety hazard his parents have cooked up in case it explodes on him. Him not taking Sam and Tucker in there until after the funeral when the portal finishes.

#back to jason hearing the ghost talk: it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from danny who loved him -#but now after avoiding danny and amity he's faced with the proof that he's missed out on x amount of time w danny too#how much has changed in their time apart

I have nothing I can say about this other than I love it and the line "it was one thing to feel guilty about keeping away from Danny who loved him" because RA its so good, because Danny DOES love him. And not even romantically yet because platonic love ftw. Jason was part of Danny's family and all but his other half. His partner in crime. And YEAH Jason's missed out on so much, when he starts looking into Amity Park he's really going to see how much.

#one last thing: that danny avoided gotham bc he wants to kill joker but if he starts could he stop? makes me wonder... what changed?#was it really just a coincidence with vlad? or is he hoping to find jason's ghost in gotham?#or is he giving up again but this time he'll be sure to take out the clown with him?#bc telling THE RED HOOD his threat on the joker? yeah that feels like a challenge. a promise. like he's being too loose with his life again#and if he was afraid of turning into rath for all these years - a different name sure- but how did all that happen in this au?#same as canon? or was it jason related? both?? bc im p sure that happened roughly 6 months after portal incident too..... ;)

exhibit a of why i love these questions because it pushes me to expand my thinking of the au and in turn expand the au itself because when I was writing this initially I really didn't expect to think too hard on it. i mentioned in my first response that vlad's 'blackmailing' was just me coming up with an excuse to get Danny into Gotham unwillingly. I was possessed by the brainrot gods and spent four hours writing the initial post like a Man Possessed. And now we're here and I love it.

I need to sit on this answer, because I wasn't thinking about changing much about how TUE could differ from canon. But this is making me think SO much. I will totally try and get back to you on this after I mull it over. As well as Danny telling the Red Hood about going to kill the Joker and the Vlad thing. But in the meantime feel free to rant more because I love it and it gives me brainrot <3

Childhood Friends Danny and Jason

(cw underage smoking / smoking as a form of bonding) (cw Jason thinking Danny killed himself but its only for a moment) (cw depictions of murderous intent? Danny wants to murder the Joker and he's a little descriptive about it

This is… aha. Massive. Word count check: 9k+

this has probably been done before but hey, everyone loves a good trope and I wanted to share my take on this idea. 👏👏 So, Danny Fenton and Jason Todd being childhood friends. The Fentons lived in Crime Alley for a good long while during Danny's childhood. Nobody wanted to fund their research and Jack and Maddie struggled to keep any form of work for a multitude of reasons. Jack worked in construction due to his big build and Maddie had another job elsewhere.

Danny and Jason were friends during that time, really great friends. I'm not super solid on how they met yet but I do know it involves Danny committing petty crime and Jason deciding to jump in and help when he sees Danny struggling. Danny was distrustful (as all crime alley kids ought to be) but they eventually became thick as thieves, committing petty crime together.

While it's all too easy to make Danny the weaker one of the two with Jason protecting him, I actually really like the idea that they protected each other. Growing up (essentially) on the streets means Danny forcibly had to grow a backbone unless he wanted to get trampled all over. He is just as willing to scuffle with the bigger kids as Jason is, and he and Jason regularly fought each other whenever they needed to let off steam, or just because. They were a duo, having each other's backs in tough situations.

(Sometimes the pair of them would sneak out at night and try and get a glimpse of Batman and Robin while they soared through the air. It was like a game between the two of them to see who could spot the dynamic duo first. When they were a little older, Jason would steal his dad's cigarettes and share them with Danny while they searched for Batman and Robin)

So when Danny has to move away when they're eleven years old, it's pretty safe to say that Jason didn't speak to him for a week afterwards. Nothing Danny did could persuade him to otherwise, even when Danny insisted that it wasn't his fault and that he didn't want to move away either, but he didn't have a choice in the matter.

When the week was over, Jason climbed through Danny's window and sat in his room, dead silent and looking upset. he didn't speak until Danny fished out a stolen pack of cigarettes from his bed and handed one to Jason.

(It was a ritual they had where if one of them was upset about something but wasn't saying anything, the other one could then hand them a cigarette -- whether it be the one they were using or a new one -- and that would be an open invitation for the person to vent. The other one who handed him the cigarette wouldn't speak until the venter handed back the cigarette. Then back and forth it would go until the cigarette was gone.)

Jason ranted about how pissed he was about Danny moving, and they promised to try and stay in touch after he leaves. Neither of them had phones, but Danny was determined to send him a letters.

Danny moves to Amity Park and it's... an adjustment, that's for sure. He's angry, grumpy, upset, and every other negative feeling under the sun. He was going to a new middle school with new people he didn't know, away from all of the people he did know and away from his best friend.

(He does however keep his word about sending letters, and mails one out to Jason at the first opportunity.)

He refuses to get along with anyone, butts heads with the teachers, is combative, rude, and openly smokes in class -- which gets him plenty of detentions and a bad reputation. He speaks in a thick Gotham street accent and wears hand-me-down clothes that are too big and baggy on him. (His parents have yet to replace any of their wardrobes as they settle into their new life, and Danny is hesitant to spend the money to get new clothes.)

He only manages to befriend Sam and Tucker because one of the football kids was bullying Tucker and Danny stepped in. It was some blond jerk named Dash and when Dash threw the first punch, Danny broke his nose. Tucker found him later that day and reluctantly thanked him for his help.

Sam and Danny do not get along for the longest time. Sam questions Danny about his upbringing, his accent, his smoking. She judges him for talking back to the teachers despite doing it herself and for ruining his lungs with cigarettes. Danny tells her to fuck off, and when she tries to judge him and Tucker for not being vegetarian, he calls her a privileged brat.

Sam doesn't even look at him for two weeks after, and Danny refuses to apologize. Tucker is caught between a rock and a hard place as his old friend and new friend are feuding with each other.

They... sort it out eventually.

Danny and Jason send each other letters near religiously. Danny complains about Amity Park, and Jason complains about how Crime Alley isn't the same without him. Danny talks about the school and what he's learned, about Sam and Tucker, and how he's been getting into the astronomy books in the library. He steals Jason a book and sends it to him.

When Jason tells Danny that he was adopted by Bruce Wayne, Danny calls bullshit. There's no fucking way Bruce Wayne would even look at Crime Alley, regardless of his charity efforts towards it. But when he checks Gotham news later that week, he's hit in the face with every single news article announcing Bruce Wayne's newest ward; Jason Todd.

Cue freaking out. Jason talks all about living in Wayne Manor and what it's like there. He says that there's a monster library in a part of the house that Bruce says he has free reign over, and that Jason can have anything to eat as long as he asks Alfred to make it and it isn't a desert, and that he has his own monster-sized room that he got to pick out himself and decorate.

(When they both get phones, the first thing either of them do is add each other's numbers.)

When Sam complains about having to go to a Wayne Gala that her parents are dragging her to one weekend, the first thing Danny asks is if he can go with. It surprises Sam and Tucker; Danny was the last person they would have thought wanted to go with. HE hates the rich even more than Sam does. Danny stands firm in his decision, and refuses to elaborate.

"Besides." He says to Sam, with whom he's begun to get along with via 'the enemy of my enemy is a friend'. "Would you rather go alone or with someone you can tolerate?"

She brings him with and convinces her parents to allow Danny to come along, citing that she'll be on her best behavior if they do. They agree, and buy Danny a suit when he says that he doesn't have one of his own.

(He discovers that he hates wearing suit jackets and ties, but vests he doesn't mind. He doesn't like that he has to comb his hair back, but he does to make Sam's parents happy. They give him a crash course in etiquette that Danny's going to forget the next day, and soon enough off they go in a private jet to Gotham)

(he does not tell Jason he's coming.)

he feels mischievous and nervous as they touch down, his stomach swirling as Sam's parents usher them to a high-profile hotel that Danny's only ever dreamed about going into. He feels largely out of place as they walk through the lobby, and falls back on old habits: square shoulders, set jaw, make yourself look like the biggest person in the room.

They get ready in the hotel room, Sam's parents primp and preen for the night incoming, and Sam is dragged into it by her mother. Danny does only what's required of him, and fiddles with the sleeves of his fresh-ironed button-down that's been tailored to his body. He's itching for a cigarette, and didn't bring any with.

Sam's dad helps him with his tie, a bout of kindness that Danny doesn't think is one. Just obligation to prevent Danny from looking like a mess. Sam pesters him again about wanting to come, and his reasons for it, and Danny keeps mum.

He's stone-faced with anxiety as they get closer to the gala, and before they leave the limousine the Mansons rented Sam links arms with him. A form of solidarity that Danny needs as he squeezes their arms together and smiles weakly at her.

The paparazzi are loud, bright, and demanding, shouting questions over questions at them like overlapping tidal waves. Danny ignores them all and focuses on the front doors instead. Sam's parents whisper at the stairs that they are to greet the Waynes first, and Danny's heart leaps to his throat.

His heart is in his ears as they drift closer, Mister Wayne is preoccupied with another rich couple, smiling that charming billionaire smile that Danny saw on every billboard in Gotham, and then some in Amity Park. Getting so close to him feels unreal.

And there by his side is the one and only Jason Todd, who isn't even trying to hide the bored look on his face as he watches Bruce interact with the other adults. He's gotten taller in the year they've been away, and healthier. His hair looks like its been cut professionally and he doesn't look as street kid skinny.

Danny's arm, hooked with Sam's, tightens up, and he resists the urge to rush forward and hug Jason. He watches Jason's eyes sweep left, away from him, and then right, towards him. The air stills for a moment as their eyes lock.

Danny grins toothily at him, lopsided and playful in nature, and sees the moment Jason processes the sight before him. His arm starts slipping out of Sam's at the same time as an ecstatic smile stretches across Jason's face.

His lopsided grin fills out on the other end. "DANNY!" Jason yells, cutting off whatever Bruce Wayne and startling everyone within earshot. There's barely a moment for Bruce to look down when Jason shoves past him and runs at Danny.

Danny yanks his arm out of Sam's, "JASON!" He yells with just as much enthusiasm, and Jason nearly topples them right over when he collides with Danny. His arms wrap around Danny's shoulders, holding onto him tightly, and they're both laughing, spinning around like tops out of joy.

"You didn't tell me you were coming!" Jason cries, sounding accusing. Danny hugs him just as tightly, and laughs when Jason pulls away momentarily to punch his shoulder.

"I wanted it to be a surprise!" He defends, laughing between words as their spinning comes to a stop. They're both reluctant to pull apart, but they do and clutch the sleeves of their elbows tightly. "How could my best friend be adopted by the Bruce Wayne and have me not come confirm it with my own two eyes?"

"I sent you newspaper clippings!" Jason says, narrowing his eyes while his smile betrays his face. Danny quietly notices that his Gotham street accent is faded slightly.

"Oh that's what it was?" Danny's grin turns again, edging into a smirk. He feigns innocence, "I thought that was fire kindling." He has the newspaper clippings hung on the corkboard in his room, proud beyond words about his best friend.

Jason punches him in the shoulder again, hard enough to leave a bruise. "You jackass." He says, ignoring Danny's laughter even when he's holding back his own.

There's a soft, sharp clearing of someone's throat, breaking their attentions away from each other to the one that made the noise.

Bruce Wayne was a tall man, taller than Danny expected, and he looks exactly like his billboards. If less promiscuous than his perfume ads. Danny expects him to be upset with them both for disrupting his pretty rich gala, but instead he just looks gently amused, with an arched eyebrow. Overall though, he just looks fond.

Danny would be the first to admit that Bruce had taken in Jason as a charity case, something to fill the void after his other kid Dick Grayson finally moved out. But Danny’s a good judge of character — or he likes to assume he is — and those are not the eyes of a man who would take Jason in as a charity case. Those are the eyes of a man who actually, genuinely, cares about one Jason Todd.

The wriggly protective thing settles in his chest.

He doesn’t let go of Jason, but he does twist his smile into something a little more polite. Mister Wayne’s eyebrow arches higher, and he turns his blue-blue eyes onto Jason. “Who’s this, Jason?” He has that fancy Gotham Elite accent -- something that sounds like a mix between old transatlantic and faintly British -- that Danny's only heard in passing when he and Jason snuck up to the nicer parts of Gotham.

Jason stares at Mister Wayne, his grip on Danny tightens as his eyes flick to the other onlookers in the room. “This is Danny, B.” He says once his eyes turn back to Mister Wayne. “We grew up in Crime Alley together, he moved to Illinois last year."

Danny can see the uncomfortable expressions cross every rich person's face, murmurs sweeping across the room as soon their uncomfortable gazes turned judgmental and flinty. He's kept track of the tabloids after Jason's adoption, the ones calling him a charity case and looking down on him for being a street kid.

He inches a little closer to Jason, straightening up instinctively, as if they were back in Crime Alley and facing a pack of kids that didn't like them. He can see Sam's surprised expression from the corner of his eye -- he never told Tucker or Sam about where he grew up, although he's sure they had their suspicions.

He looks back to Mister Wayne and meets his blue-blue eyes, his smile has slowly begun to fade. Mister Wayne doesn't miss a beat however, and his smile stays plastered to his face. If anything, it gets a little softer, a little wider. "It's nice to meet you Danny -- Daniel? I'm so glad that Jason has a friend here." He holds out a hand.

Danny eyes him unsurely, and then takes his hand. "It's jus' Danny, Mister Wayne." He says, some of his old accent slipping through as he shook his hand firmly. He would have done it harder, but this was Jason's new guardian, and from Jason's letters he didn't sound too bad. "It's, uh, nice to meet you too. Jason's told me lots about you."

Mister Wayne's brows jump momentarily, he looks intrigued. He looks between Danny and Jason, and claps his hands together softly. "Well, Jay, how would you like to stay with Danny for a while, hm? I'm sure you too have a lot to catch up on."

Hope simmers in Danny's heart, and he glances to Jason to see that same hope on his face. "Really?" He asks, and Mister Wayne nods with a laugh.

"Of course! How could I keep two friends apart? Go on ahead, chum. I'll come get you when the gala ends."

And just like that, Bruce Wayne leaves Jason with Danny, diving back into a conversation with one of the rich gothamites and taking the attention with it as if he were the sun and everyone else a planet orbiting him.

Danny and Jason share grins, and throw their arms around each other with laughter. Danny is on cloud nine, pressing his nose into Jason's shoulder and breathing him in, fingers digging into the back of his suit hard enough to leave wrinkles in his jacket.

Sam demands answers when they finally, for real this time, pull apart. Why didn't he tell her that he was friends with Jason Todd!? Danny slings his arm around Jason's shoulders and keeps him close, and tells her that it was because he wanted it to be a surprise.

Sam's parents have unreadable expressions on their faces, part greed -- Danny is their in to the elusive Bruce Wayne -- and part disdain -- a Gotham street rat. Danny ignores them, they're unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

He introduces Sam to Jason, and Jason to Sam. And off they go to a corner of the room near the buffet table where they can eat and shit talk everyone else in the room in peace.

At some point in the night Sam is called back to her parents to meet some other fancy rich kids her parents want her to get along with, and Danny and Jason go off to the west end balcony to avoid anyone who may try and approach the new Gotham ward.

Danny hops up onto the balcony railing, kicking his feet as Jason pulls a cigarette pack out of his inner jacket pocket, and grins. "Don't tell Bruce," he says, handing the box to Danny first. "He's been trying to get me to quit."

"Hah!" Danny takes one just as Jason slips out a lighter. "That sounds like Jazz. She's been trying to get me to stop since we moved to Amity." Granted, she's been trying ever since she found out before they moved, but now she was even more insistent. "She hasn't found my stash yet."

At the end of the night when the Mansons are leaving and Danny has to leave with them, he walks back to Mister Wayne with Jason to tell him that he's leaving. Mister Wayne mourns his going, and tells him that he's always able to come visit.

"Any friend of Jason's is always welcome to the manor." He says with a blinding grin, pulling Jason close to his side and squeezing him tight. Jason's nose scrunches up, but he doesn't push away.

It becomes a new routine for them. The Mansons are all too happy to bring him with to the Wayne Galas (of which they start receiving more invites to due to their connection with Danny) and Danny is all too happy to spend the evening with Jason again. No matter what, they always end up on the balcony at some point in the night.

And, eventually, Danny is invited to stay at Wayne Manor either for a weekend or for a break. He jumps at the chance when winter break rolls around and his parents start their debate over Santa Claus again.

Danny and Jason stay up late into the night talking or playing video games during their sleepovers, and in the warmer nights they climb out and onto the roof to stargaze. Danny points out constellations - - things he can find in neither Gotham or Amity -- and rambles on and on about space.

There are plenty of times during the Wayne Galas that the event gets attacked by a rogue. More often than he'd like he loses Jason in the crowd, and has later stopped Robin or Batman in his panic to find him.

The first time it happened, he was in tears with terror. He grabbed onto Batman's cape, stopping the man from going back in as he babbled that his Jason Todd was still inside, that he disappeared during the chaos and he couldn't find him. Batman took his hands and calmly told him that he'd find Jason for him, and that he was sure he was okay, but he needed to calm down.

He found Jason later once everything had calmed down, and he screamed at him for disappearing during a rogue attack, if he ever did it again he'll kill him. Then he cried.

The second time it happened, Danny didn't even realize that Jason was gone until everything was already over. They'd been separated before the attack happened. He stopped Robin and Batman before they could leave, trying to keep his breathing under control as he asked again, if they had seen Jason Todd.

"That- that asshole keeps fucking ditching me when these things happen." His voice has an embarrassing wobble in it. "Please-- please tell me you've seen him, that he's alright."

Robin this time steps up to reassure him, that Jason Todd was out of the building. He got him out. "He's probably looking for you too, uhhh..."

"Danny" Danny says, and eyes him up and down. "You're the new Robin right?"

Robin stilled up, and Danny could understand it a little. He'd seen the thoughts on the new Robin online. He wasn't very popular at first. Robin nods curtly, and Batman was shuffled a little closer to him, almost protectively.

Danny grins at him. "Cool." He says, "Me and Jay used to sneak out onto the rooftops sometimes to try and spot Batman and the first Robin, we made it a game." He holds out a fistbump, "Thanks for doing what you do, man. I might not live in Gotham anymore, but I mean it. You're a living legend."

Robin looks like there's something stuck in his throat, and after a beat he returns the fistbump tentatively. "Th- uh, thanks." He stumbles out awkwardly, and then turns away, "Me and B- uh, better go."

Before Danny could even respond, Robin already had his grapple in hand and was grappling away. "You too, Batman." Danny says before Batman can follow.

When Danny sees Jason after that, and weight lifts off his chest and he hits him in the arm again. And then complains that he should have gotten Batman and Robin's autograph, it would have been epic.

By the fifth time it happens, Danny is cussing up a storm when Robin saves him, cursing out Jason and claiming that he needs to put that boy on a fucking leash. "We're a duo!" He scowls when Robin gets him outside, "I got his back, he has mine! I can't have his back when he's got no back to fucking have."

The eighth time it happens, Danny gets held hostage by one of the henchmen. He's become a recognizable friend of the Waynes, and when the Waynes are nowhere to be found, then the next best thing was up to offer. Danny isn't even mad this time around -- just relieved that Jason was fucking off somewhere where he couldn't get hurt.

Robin, however, seemed furious when he arrived, and broke the hostager's jaw with a single flying kick to the face. Jason found him rapidly quick soon after the situation had settled, and apologized over and over again.

Danny slings an arm around his shoulder and laughs that it was fine, Robin saved the day! His legs were shaking with the worn off adrenaline, something he tried to hide from Jason. "I'm just glad it was me instead of you, Jay." He grins. Jason looks like he swallowed a toad.

Jason stops disappearing as often after that, sticking close to Danny's side until the attack was over.

When Danny is fourteen, Jason dies, and his world unravels.

He calls the manor on a late night in April after Jason had stopped responding to his texts. Danny knew that Jason was just recently in a fight with Bruce, but he knows that Bruce loves Jason. He would know where he is, right?

When he calls, Bruce answers with a hoarse "hello?" as if he'd been crying all day, and Danny's blood turns to ice. The anxiety he'd been feeling beforehand doubles in size, and he feels himself stammering.

"Mister- uh- Mister Wayne? Um, I'm calling because Jason--" he hears Bruce inhale sharply on the other line, and his anxiety skyrockets into fear. "--hasn't been answering any of my texts and- and I'm gettin' real worried."

There's silence on the other end, and Danny feels a rock forming in his throat, gross and heavy like he was on the verge of throwing up. "Mister- Bruce? Mister B?"

There's a shaky breath, and then Bruce's voice crackles through the phone. "Um-- Jason, he, he's--" there's a sound like rustling, "he's been killed."

Danny's vision whites out with skyrocketing terror, his mind skidding to a stop. His body rapidly grows hot, and then chills, like a blacksmith striking a heated weapon. "What?"

When the phone call ends, Danny screams himself hoarse. Jazz and his parents come running into his room, his parents equipped with ghost weapons. Instead, they find Danny curled up in his bed, sobbing hoarsely.

Danny almost -- almost -- refuses to attend the funeral, nearly paralyzed with grief. Jazz coaxes him to go, to find closure if anything else, and he drags himself out of bed to go.

He feels numb the entire time. It's closed casket, so he can't even see him for one last time before Jason is buried in the ground. He's silent, and if he think he looks bad, then Bruce looks even worse, like he hadn't slept since Jason died and worse.

Danny grabs his sleeve before he leaves, and when Bruce turns to him with a dull look in his once vibrant eyes, he clings to him tightly. And cries. Bruce clings back just as tight, Danny feels tears drip into his hair.

"Who did it." Danny whispers, voice too hurt to speak any louder, when he pulls back. His fingers curl around Bruce's jacket tightly, desperately. His eyes hurt with tears. "You said he was murdered, B. Please, who did it."

Bruce looks down at him, and for the first time it really does feel like he's looking down at him. His face is blank, and his eyes close in grief. There is no answer, a silent no.

Danny's face twists up all ugly like, and he shakes Bruce's jacket. "Bruce, please. Tell me who did it."

Bruce refuses, his face full of grief.

Danny never returns to Gotham.

Prior to Jason's death and post their reunion, Danny had slowly begun to improve in school. He started caring more, he was putting in more effort, he was doing his homework and was actually enjoying class. There was the bullying from Dash and the A-Listers, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, he was ignoring them for the most part.

Come Monday after the funeral, and Danny breaks Dash's nose when he starts up with his shit. He withdrew into himself, and it was like he was back to square one again, except this time it was much worse.

Everyone knew Danny was close friends with Jason Todd. So when news of his death finally reached the ears of Amity Park, the students of Casper High School kept their distance.

That following Friday, Danny dies in the portal and comes back. A month later he becomes Phantom, the ghost-fighting ghost. the ghost Phantom wears his hazmat suit partially undone, showing a tanktop he didn't wear in death under the initial suit while the sleeves are tied around his waist. Vicious, glowing lichtenburg scars travel up his arm and neck and torso, covering half of his face while a pair of scientist-like goggles covers his eyes. He's bitter and angry, showing off his death.

Look at me, Phantom's form says, I am a dead child. Look at me look at me look at me. Mourn me. I am a dead child. LOOK AT ME. MOURN ME.

A few weeks later he enters the ghost zone and realizes that he could find Jason. And he spends a weekend scouring the ghost zone for him. He finds Gotham in the zone, and rather than finding Jason, he finds Robin.

Danny didn't know he'd died. And he flies towards him, asks him if he's seen Jason, reveals that it's him, Danny Fenton. Robin stares at him, mouth agape, and peels off his mask to reveal Jason Todd.

They both cry, and when Danny tells him how he died, Jason looks pale in the face. "You didn't- you didn't kill yourself because of me, did you?"

Danny fervently denies it. No, no. He didn't, he didn't. It was an accident. Totally unrelated. But enough about that, what the hell happened? Bruce wouldn't tell him anything at the funeral.

Jason clams up, his ghostly face losing its color, and Danny curses himself. He tells Jason that he doesn't have to tell him, he doesn't have to say anything. They sit in silence.

"It was the Joker." Jason says.

That's all Danny needs to know. He nods quietly. 'I'll kill him.' He thinks to himself, a stubborn set in his jaw. "Okay."

It had always been a plan; a thought wriggling in the back of Danny's mind ever since Bruce told him that Jason had been killed.

Not died. Killed.

Danny wanted the fucker dead the moment he realized it. He just needed to know who did it. He thinks Bruce knew it too, could probably see it in his eyes the moment Danny asked him who did it. He isn't sure if he should hate Bruce more for keeping it from him now.

They spend hours together, just soaking in each other's presence. Danny tries to take him through the ghost portal, to bring him back to the land of the living. But much like Kitty, Jason's form is tied to the zone. Danny promises to visit every day.

And he does. Or he tries to. The grief doesn't go away, but with the comfort of knowing that Jason was on the other side, Danny feels a little better. He tells Jason about being Phantom, and Jason helps train him. It feels like they're kids again and are fighting just because they want to. Its a bout of familiarity in a place that feels unfamiliar. All they need are cigarettes.

And then six months later he loses him again. Danny scours the ghost zone for him for the second time, and this time he doesn't find him.

His haunt is still in the zone though. He didn't move on. He's still here, somewhere.

Danny is convinced that Jason was in the Elsewhereness, and looks for him in between ghost fights and his social life. He visits Jason's haunt every day, knowing that Jason should be able to feel when another ghost enters his home. He does not show up.

(He never thinks that Jason came back to life, and Jason doesn't remember his time in the ghost zone)

When Danny is nineteen, Vlad Masters blackmails him into going to another Wayne Gala. Begrudgingly, Danny goes. He's taller than he used to be, having inherited his dad's monstrous height and his mom's leanness. He has piercings, some of them he got after a lost bet from Sam and Tucker, and he's given himself an undercut.

He still prefers vests over suit jackets, and he still smokes. A little less than before, he sneaks a pack into his pocket before he leaves, along with a lighter. Vlad gives him a dirty look the whole time - he knows.

"Don't give me that look." "That stuff kills, you know" "I'm already dead."

It's like deja vu when he arrives; an awful bout of deja vu, that is. The paparazzi is still as bright and loud and annoying as it always was, and they don't recognize him at all. Something he thinks of as a soft mercy up until one of the reporters asks Vlad who he is.

Vlad smiles and tugs Danny into the camera frame, "Why, this is my godson!" He crows, and shoots Danny a look that is downright smug I'm sure many of you may know him as Daniel Fenton?"

If looks could kill, Vlad would be ash. Danny isn't quite sure why he still agreed to this -- blackmail or no. He felt itchy being in Gotham; jumpy. He's never forgotten his vow to kill the Joker, in fact it was something he still desperately wants.

But the threat of Rath, the name he chose for his evil future self, haunts him just as much as his murderous intent. If he kills the Joker, would he stop?

Danny's almost afraid of what he'll do if he ever lays eyes on the Joker in person. He doesn't think he'll be able to stop himself from wrapping his hands around that stupid clown's neck and watching the light leave his eyes.

He pushes the thoughts to the side, and smiles lopsidedly as cameras and microphones flood his face, reporters yelling over themselves as they clamor to get a shot of the old Wayne family friend.

Danny turns and walks inside without answering a single question, flexing his fingers in and out of fists. Vlad gracefully hurries after him, and Danny can hear his glare burning into his back.

"You told me to come," Danny hisses to him once he's beside him, meeting Vlad's gaze piercingly, "not that I should play nice."

"Don't embarrass me, Daniel." Vlad hisses back, trying to look the upmost calm as eyes turn onto them. "I'll make you regret it."

"You embarrass yourself, fruitloop." Danny shoots back, walking away before Vlad could get a retort in. He sees Bruce Wayne on the other side of the room.

His heart seizes with nostalgia. He hasn't seen Bruce since Jason's funeral, hasn't spoken to him either. He doesn't know how to feel about him, but he'd been keeping tabs on Bruce both as himself and as Batman.

Danny's feet carry him forwards before he can think about it, silently weaving between the throng of rich people vying for his attention. It's only when he gets closer does he see the little shadow clinging to his side: Damian Wayne.

The newest little bird, Danny realizes, and stifles a smile at the surly expression on Damian's face as two older women coo over him. He reminded him of Sam, who had long since stopped coming to these things the moment she was able to.

The feeling of eyes on him turns Danny's attention away from Damian, and instead finds them back on Bruce's, who stares at him with a little furrow between his brows. As if he recognized him, but he wasn't sure from there.

Danny grins crookedly the moment he's within earshot. "Mister B!" He exclaims, slipping into what remained of his Gotham street accent. Recognition flashed in Bruce's eyes, and the man smiled widely. "Long time no see, old man."

"Danny," Bruce says, his name breathing out like relief. He slips between the crowd surrounding him -- who are now watching Danny -- and pulls Danny into a close hug. "It's good to see you again."

Danny hesitates for a moment -- he wasn't expecting Bruce to hug him -- and returns the gesture. "It's good to see you too, Bruce." He admits. Bruce was still using the same cologne that he did when Danny was a kid. He blinks heavily.

He pulls away quickly, clapping Bruce lightly on the shoulder as Damian quickly latches onto his father's side again. Damian glares daggers at him, fingers digging into Bruce's pantlegs like a possessive little kid.

He made Danny's ghost sense tingle in the back of his throat, creeping up slowly like a spider before stopping suddenly before it reached his mouth. It hummed, and then disappeared.

Danny smothered a frown. Since when did Batman work with ectoplasm? “This must be Damian." He says to Bruce, and holds out a hand to Damian -- he doesn't crouch, he had a feeling that Damian would be less than appreciative if he did that. "You've really expanded the nest since the last time I saw you."

Damian's eyes narrow at him. Bruce laughs lightly, "Ah yes, Tim is around here somewhere. I'm sure you'll see him soon."

"Father," Damian says, his voice layered with an accent. He glares up at Danny with piercing green eyes. "How do you know this man?" He sounds distrustful, Danny respects that and drops his hand.

"This is Danny Fenton." Bruce says, and Danny lets him introduce him. "He was Jason's friend."

An expression similar to bewilderment flashes briefly over Damian's face, and he eyes Danny in disbelief. "Todd had friends?"

Oh. So that's how he wanted to be. Bruce had a little elitist on his hands. Danny's smile drops like a deadweight, and any lingering endearment he had hardens like ice in his chest, fury slowly taking its place like a flickering candlelight. "It's not polite to speak ill of the dead, Mister Wayne." He says coldly, his voice made of chips of ice.

Damian blinks, the disbelief disappearing from his face. The closest thing to a recoil Danny thinks he's going to get. He doesn't care. No one speaks about his best friend that way.

"I grew up with Jason, actually." He continues, breathing in slow and deep, trying to keep the ghostly possessive-protective-rage under control. "I was his best friend."

He turns, almost robotically, towards Bruce, and tries not to look so angry. "I'm going to go find Tim, Mister B." He says, and tries to offer up a weak smile for the man. It comes out as a grimace instead.

"And..." he pauses, flicks his eyes towards Damian, and then looks at Bruce. "I'll... try and keep in contact, B. Tell Dick I said hi, alright? I'll see you in a little bit."

Bruce nods, looking vaguely disappointed and sighing slow through his nose. Danny walks away as Bruce turns to address his youngest, and doesn't bother listening in on what he has to say.

He does, eventually, find Tim Drake. He spots him in a crowd instantly - it's hard not to, and he makes his way over to him. He's not sure Tim Drake would recognize him, Bruce didn't at first and Danny had been around him constantly.

Except Tim Drake does recognize him, much to Danny's surprise. They lock eyes and Tim immediately makes his way over to him. "Danny Fenton!" He says and stops in front of him, "What a surprise, we weren't expecting you tonight."

"Tim Drake," Danny replies, smiling a little as his earlier hurt begins to fade away. "I'm surprised you know me."

"There are pictures of you in the manor with Jason." Tim explains, stuffing his hands into his pockets with an easy-going smile. "It's hard not to know you."

"It’s hard not to know you too,” Danny retorts, a sly smile slowly spreading across his face. “Although you’re a lot taller than you used to be, when you were lurking around Bruce and Jason and I.”

Ohhh Danny recognizes him alright. One part due to all the news articles and tabloids on him after he was adopted by Bruce, and the other part because he remembers the little shadow lurking near plants pots and table legs that used to follow him and Jason around at galas just like these.

Knowing that Jason was Robin, he wonders if Jason knew he was there too.

The effect is immediate: Tim’s eyes grow comically large, and a red tint glows at the tip of his ears as he shrinks back like a turtle trying to hide into its shell. “You— you noticed that!?” He hisses.

“I did!” Danny grins, large and wide, stifling a laugh as the red tint spreads over Tim’s cheeks and nose. He looks mortified. Danny coos. “Aww, I thought it was adorable that Jason had a little shadow. I’m sure he would have loved you if you had just come over and said hi. He had a big soft spot for kids.”

Tim snorts and it— it almost sounds derisive? “Sure he would.” He looks sad, and the mirth in Danny’s chest shrivels up like a flower without light. The smile fades from his face, and all that’s left is a strange, staunch reminder that Danny and Bruce weren’t the only ones that probably mourned.

He touches Tim’s shoulder lightly, “Hey, I’m sorry.” He says, trying to look as apologetic as he feels. “I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I’m sorry, I miss him too.” Like a fucking limb he missed him.

There’s something that flickers in Tim’s eyes, passing through too fast for Danny to realize what it is. He assumes its gratefulness, because Tim relaxes a little and offers him a weak little smile. “I wish I had talked to him.”

Danny sees an out and takes it, he forces out a short laugh, grinning widely. “I can tell you all about him if you’d like,” he offers, “I told Mister B I’d keep in touch anyways. I’ve missed him and Alfred quite a lot in the last few years.”

“Not Dick?”

“That dipstick wasn’t around often enough for me to form any sort of emotional attachment to him.” Danny says in a half-complaining tone, placing his hands on his hips. “Although I did like his puns.”

Tim snickers, “I’ll tell him you said that then. Nobody likes his puns.”

“Go on ahead,” Danny grins, laughter swirling in his chest and making his core thrum with warmth. Damn, he’s missed this family. “I stand by my decision. Puns are funny.”

“Let’s get a photo then.” Tim says with a hand already fishing in his pocket for his phone. “He’ll be devastated to know that you were here and he didn’t get to see you.”

“Sure.” And Danny sidles on next to Tim, throwing an arm around his shoulders — and making a noise of surprise when his arm was able to fit comfortably — as if he was just resting it on a counter.

He totally forgot how tall he was compared to Tim. Forgot that he’d been looking down the entire time they’d been talking. “Why’d I get my dad’s height.” He complains, and bends his knees as Tim raises the phone with the front-facing camera on.

Tim snickers under his breath, and takes the picture while they’re both smiling wide. Danny immediately stands up, and peers over Tim’s shoulders to look at the picture.

It’s a good one, with the fringe of Danny’s curls falling slightly over his left eye and making the dimple on his right cheek more prominent. He could see the barely-there smattering of freckles he had across his nose, the ones that became more prominent when the sun was out. His smile was lopsided, Danny’s favorite kind of smile.

He whistles lowly, “That’s a good one,” he says aloud, and smiles impishly at Tim when he looks at him. “You should send that one, I look hot in it.”

Tim snorts, his ears reddening as he looks down at his phone. “Yeah sure, no problem.” He says quickly, and Danny looks away when he pulls up the messenger app. He’s never felt comfortable looking over people’s shoulders when they were on their phone.

“I’m gonna go take a smoke break.” He shoves his hands into his pockets and curls his fingers around the box and lighter inside. “I’ll—“

“Be on the west-end balcony.” Tim finishes, the red in his ears darkening as he glances up from his phone to smile embarrassedly. “I know.”

Danny snorts, “Okay.” His voice is thick with amusement. “Let me know how Dipstick reacts, alright?” He backs up slowly, awaiting Tim’s response. Tim merely waves a hand at him, a weak gesture of “yeah yeah” that makes Danny grin before he flips around and marches towards his favorite smoking balcony.

———————

(Tim pulls up the family group chat and loads the selfie into the text bar. His face feels warm with embarrassment even as his thumbs fly across the screen.

Tim: look who i found at the latest charity gala :) [image]

Hee awaits eagerly a response, and finds he doesn’t have to wait long. Dick’s thought bubble appears on screen, then Cass’s — of which it only exists for a moment before disappearing.

Dick: holy shit, is that who i think it is?

Tim responds quickly, and his message sends.

Tim: yep. He wanted me to tell you that he thinks your jokes are funny.

Dick: they are funny

Tim rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment, really thinks. He weighs his pros and cons. And then his fingers fly across the screen again.

Tim: hey Jason are you not gonna say anything?

There’s no response for all of thirty seconds — of which it stretches on to an uncomfortably long minute — and then Jason’s thought bubble appears.

Jason: what do i have to say to a bunch of idiots blowing up my phone in the middle of patrol?

Tim: harsh. do you recognize the guy in the photo?

Jason’s response is instant. Too fast for him to have actually looked at the photo itself. He’s just trying to spite Tim then. Tim doesn’t care, he has the upper hand here

Jason: no and I don’t care, i have patrol

Tim knows he didn’t look at the photo, and yet he can’t help stifle a shit-eating smile and feign innocence

Tim: really? You and Danny used to be so close, color me surprised

His teeth dig into his lower lip, he doesn’t need to in order to hide a smile. But it gives him something to do. Jason is worryingly silent for a long, long time, and Tim can almost imagine him staring long and hard at the selfie. Tim knows he will be later.

Finally, Jason’s text bubble shows up. It exists for a long time, before finally Tim’s phone buzzes with his message alert.

Jason: that’s danny?

Tim feels all too gleeful. Smugness swirling in his chest like kicked up sand as he types his response: yep! Apparently he showed up today, although I’m not sure with who since I don’t see Miss Manson around here.

Damian: Father says to get off your phone, Drake. We are at a Gala and your behavior is most unbecoming

Tim: can it demon spawn, I was just telling Jason that his friend Danny is here

Damian: He can’t be too important if he doesn’t even know Todd is alive

Tim: how would you know that?

Damian: When Father introduced him as Todd’s friend, I expressed my surprise that Todd even had friends, considering how unpleasant he can be. Fenton became quite cross with me after that and quickly excused himself thereafter

Dick: you said what!? Damian that’s not okay

Damian: Father made that quite clear after Fenton left in a huff. My mistake for thinking that Todd had told his ‘supposed best friend’ that he was alive.

Dick: he didn’t even tell us we were alive at first

Damian: He did eventually, didn’t he? Clearly Todd doesn’t seem to care too much about Fenton if he hasn’t even informed him of his being alive at this point.

Jason’s thought bubble quickly pops up, and then dissipates, then pops up again. Tim quickly pockets his phone before he can see Jason’s response. He doesn’t feel smug anymore, just uncomfortable.)

———————

Stepping out onto the west-end balcony feels like a blast from the past. A painful one at that. Danny’s fingers dig into his cigarette pack, and he pulls it out with a sense of bittersweet familiarity.

It feels like a lifetime ago that he once stood here with Jason. The package clunks dully as his fingers scrape against the side, and he fishes a cigarette out of the box before stuffing it back into his pocket.

“Quite the night isn’t it.” He says to nothing, to ghosts of the past, to himself. He turns and sits on the railing, sticking his legs out like a tripping hazard while Gotham’s hot city wind blows through the air.

He looks up and only sees the ugly pollution yellow sky looking down at him. It’s an unfamiliar feeling to him. He loves the stars and yet when faced with a smog that covers it, he feels more at home.

Danny’s fingers find the lighter, and with a few clicks a small open flame appears in existence. There’s a poem here, he can feel it. But he feels too tired to find it.

The cigarette lights, and the lighter dies in response. Returning back to his coffin-like pocket until he needs to use it again. He pulls a leg up, resting his chin on his knee with a heavy, tired sigh.

He soaks in the sounds around him. The ugly city warmth nips at his jaw. The music inside is muffled by the force of two glass doors and walls on all four sides, and Danny can hear late night traffic coming by on the road nearby. It’s a special kind of ambience you can only find on the west end balcony.

Half a decade ago, Danny had played a part with that ambience with Jason. Now it was just him, and Jason was nowhere to be found. It left a hopeless kind of feeling in his chest. An all-suffocating kind of fear that filled him head to toe with an intensity only ghosts could have.

His body winds up like a spring, and Danny holds his breath. When he exhales two minutes later, the spring stutters and jolts, and his body relaxes with a tremble.

He misses Jason. He misses Jason.

Ghosts are emotional creatures. They feel it from their crown to their soles. And emotional wounds never really heal. They scab over and fester, waiting to be picked at again and again so it can bleed as fresh as it did when it first opened.

Danny’s grief is never going to go away, he thinks. It’s clung to him like a parasite; shaped him and molded him. The wound was too close to him when he died, and now it will stay with him forever.

He opens his eyes when his ghost sense tingles, a heavy feeling in his throat that is neither nicotine nor grief. It’s just like Damian’s, but stronger. Potent. Older. It reaches the top of Danny’s throat and sits at the base of his tongue, like a hand about to suffocate him.

He looks up, cigarette hanging off his lips, and the Red Hood drops down beside him. He stands in the same spot Jason once did, and that alone makes the ghostly core in Danny seize possessively.

Don’t you dare stand where he stood, it hisses, coiling around his lungs like smog. Danny grits his teeth and feels his ghost sense evaporate. He pulls the cigarette out of his mouth, and nicotine smoke pours out like a cheap version of his ghost sense.

“Red Hood.” He says plainly, his free hand coiling and uncoiling like cat’s claws against the railing. “A surprise to see you here.”

Danny knows through process of elimination who most of the Gotham vigilantes are: Dick is Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, Tim is Red Robin, Damian is Robin, and Cass is Orphan. There are a few who he doesn’t know, however. Like Batgirl and Red Hood.

It’s fine, he doesn’t need to know. Danny of all people understands the importance of a secret identity.

Red Hood doesn’t say anything, just stares at him as if he’s a deer in headlights. His body all tensed up like he isn’t sure what to do now that he’s here in front of Danny. Like he wasn’t expecting Danny to be here at all.

Danny’s brows furrow. “Sorry, am I in your spot?” He asks, and begins to push off the railing. “I didn’t think vigilantes used the Wayne Hall west-end balcony, I can leave if you want.”

He’s already begun to move towards the door.

The Red Hood lurches in his spot, “No!” He yells, and Danny stops in place with raising eyebrows. Red Hood’s fingers cringe, and he straightens up.

He’s shorter than Danny, he notes. Which isn’t much of revelation. Everyone is shorter than Danny.

“No,” Red Hood repeats, sounding sturdier than before, “No. You’re fine. I’m just stopping here for a quick rest before resuming patrol.”

…Danny doesn’t question it. It’s none of his business about other vigilantes and their practices. He shrugs and breathes out more smoke, “Alright.” He says, and walks back over to the railing to sit on it. “I’m Danny, by the way.”

The Red Hood nods, and a silence falls over them. Danny doesn’t care enough to make it feel uncomfortable, but the Red Hood seems unsettled by something. Lost in thought. He leans his back against the railing similar to Danny, and then switches a few seconds later to a new pose.

He does it again, and again, and again. Until finally he flips over and leans his stomach against the railing, arms resting against it. It is starkly like what Jason used to do, and Danny stares at him long and hard.

He frowns. And says nothing.

When Danny’s cigarette is nothing more than a butt of nicotine, he crushes it in his hand and watches the ash flutter down to the ground. The heat stings his hand, but its nothing his ghostly healing can’t fix.

The Red Hood is already holding out another one when Danny’s hand drifts to his pocket for the box.

Danny stares at him, sudden wariness opening up like floodgates that sit at the bottom of his stomach.

His frown deepens, his eyes flicker up and down at Red Hood. His hands hover over his pocket. “I have my own.” He says, and watches subtly as the Red Hood hides a wilt. As if he’d been expecting Danny to take it.

“Alright.” The Red Hood says, trying to sound unbothered. He retracts the cigarette away from Danny, quiet all the way. He’s looking away.

Danny plucks the cigarette out of his hand, startling the Hood enough that Red snaps back to look at him. Danny yanks his lighter from his pocket. “I won’t say no to a free cigarette.” He says, slightly muffled with the stick between his teeth. It lights.

Silence falls over them again, and when one minute stretches into five, whatever hope that had been digging into the shoulders of Red Hood finally pulls away and leaves him slumping subtly.

‘A ciggie for your thoughts?’ Nine year old Jason Todd whispers one night with an impish grin, holding up a cigarette pinched between his two fingers. ‘I stole it from my old man. He won’t even notice its gone.’

Danny is halfway through it when he speaks. “The Joker killed my best friend.” He says, and watches from the corner of his eye as the Red Hood flinches. Is he startled by Danny speaking, or startled by the bluntness of him starting?

“He beat him to death.” Danny continues, staring stone-faced away from Red Hood. His grief claws up his lungs and burrows into his heart again. His fingers dig into the railing. “He beat my best friend to death.”

The Red Hood is silent, his body as still as the grave. Silence stretches out between them both, and like he’d been thinking, the Hood finally speaks: “How do you know?”

He’s not holding the cigarette, he broke his and Jason’s rule. Danny bounces the stick between his fingers. “His ghost told me.” He says, taking a trembling breath. “His ghost told me so, before he disappeared.”

The Red Hood says nothing, and Danny gathers his thoughts. The ones that had been buried deep next to his core, shoved down ever since Danny learned of Rath and a terrible future where a world is destroyed by one ghost’s hands.

Danny has never said it out loud before. His face scrunches up briefly, and then smooths out when his eyes squeeze shut. “I’m going to kill him, Red Hood.” He murmurs when he opens his eyes, turning his face toward the vigilante. The sound is sucked out of the air.

The Red Hood stares at him, but he doesn’t say a word. Danny pushes on, teeth grinding into teeth as he flips his silvery scarred hand back and forth. Palm up, palm down. “It’s why I haven’t been back to Gotham in a while.” He admits, voice still quiet. “If I see the Joker I will kill him, and I won’t feel bad for it.”

“Not today though,” he says, and closes his hand, “today I’m here on a favor to Vlad Masters. Then after this I’ll go visit my friend. I need to apologize for not seeing his grave in a while. I’ll have to stop by a florist to see if they have any zinnias. Jay likes those.”

He takes out the cigarette in his mouth and breathes out one last cloud of smoke. And then he crushes the cigarette stick under his foot and walks back inside.

[angelicblondie]

footballplayer!rafe x wag!reader (MDNI)

note: i dont know a lot about football so some details about that might be wrong!!

it was safe to say that your life had drastically changed over the last year.

before you met rafe, you were simply a girl working a marketing 9 to 5, with a fairly boring life. you had dinner with you parents once a month, went to work every day, you had nights out with you friends on the weekends- your life was just like any other girl approaching her mid 20s.

however, over a year ago, you were at a bar on a saturday night with a couple of your girlfriends, just trying to let loose from the week. you were only a couple shots in when you spotted the handsome stranger eyeing you from afar, and you were immediately filled with intrigue. rafe felt himself being magnetically pulled to your direction, sauntering over to where you stood with your friends by the bar.

he approached you with his sickly charming smile, wooing you instantly. the two of you got to talking and if you were honest, you were smitten instantly. about 5 minutes into the conversation you realized who you were talking to - rafe cameron, the new startup qb for your cities team. you weren't a huge football fan, but you'd have to be living under a rock not to know who rafe freaking cameron was. he had become a huge deal in the past months, reasons ranging from his killer wrist to his deadly looks.

you had seen girls thirsting over him on social media and you couldnt help but agree - the guy was smoking hot, even more so in person, making you honestly a little surprised he was even talking to you.

you look a sip of your drink, eyeing him thoughtfully. "so, whats a hot shot like you doing in this dump?" you ask, your voice teasing yet soft.

rafe let out a chuckle. "I could ask you the same question. dont you gotta boyfriend at home or somethin'?" he asked experimentally, awaiting you answer with the tilt of his head.

you bit your lip, catching his drift. "no boyfriend," you reply, twirling the straw in your drink. "how 'bout you? no groupie chasing after you?"

rafe poked his tongue into his cheek with a smile, shaking his head. "nah, on my own at the moment."

you hum, nodding along to his words before wrapping your lips around your straw, locking into his eyes as you sucked the liquid out of your glass.

thats how you ended up on his bed later that night, letting him pound into you as you screamed into his pillow - truly the best sex you had ever had at that point.

whilst your sexual chemistry was undeniable, so was your romantic chemistry. the two of you flowed into conversation easily, and could feel the early excitement of your new situation.

you spent the whole week at rafes house - only leaving his side for work, and him for training. the two of you showered in the morning, made or ordered in meals for dinner, and talked late into the night, about anything and everything (and of course, had sex. lots and lots of it). you got to know rafe, from his early childhood, to embarrassing high school stories, crazy college encounters, and all about his love for football. and rafe got to know you too, since you found yourself uncontrollably sharing things you had never uttered to another soul, wondering why it was you felt so connected to him - why you trusted and liked him so much already.

at the end of the week though, it was time for you and rafe to part ways, since the football season had started, causing rafe to need to travel.

you were inexplicably crushed, wondering if your time together had run its course, and if it was time to say bye forever - only remembering each other by the perfect week, and nothing more.

luckilly though, that wasnt the case - you and rafe just couldn't stay away from each other. he called you every night, as long as he could. you watched his games on the tv in your living room, texting him after each time to congratulate or console him, depending on the outcome. you even brushed up on your football knowledge, wanting to be more useful in conversations about the topic and to understand what was going on in the games.

your friends were of course happy for you, but also perplexed. you had just met the guy, and you two were already acting like a married couple. but once you formally introduced him to them, they understood.

the two of you just simply had a special connection, and admired each other so much. it was like you skipped all the awkward first dates and base line questions, and just jumped right into the good stuff - and it was (and still is) perfect.

that how you got here - a year after the two of you made it official only 2 month into knowing each other - in a stadium in sunny california.

your boyfriend was playing against the LA team, and you were seated in a box with the other friends and family of the players, sitting next to rafes dad and step-mom, as well as his sister sarah.

you and sarah had wine glasses in your hands as you sat in the first row, sunglasses covering you eyes as you waited for the game to start. you saw the occasional phone camera pointed your way, and you gave a small smile a wave.

you had definitely received more attention since you and rafe began your relationship - people had flooded you social media accounts with both love and hate, and had began to treat you as if you were some celebrity, which was strange, since you were just some girlfriend of a football player.

a very popular football player, but still.

with you new platform, you were able to post the cutest pics of rafe and you, (and some very hot pics of him alone), and also make a bit of money from it. you still worked in marketing, but had decided to mostly work online and remotely, making it easier to travel with rafe when needed.

a big topic of conversation between the two of you when you started dating was how you would approach that part of your relationhip - balancing your individual lives to meet in the middle.

you had made it clear that you wanted to be your own person, aside from being his girlfriend. although rafe could certainly provide for the two of you, for now, you quite liked relying on yourself for your pay, and you liked the independence that came with it. of course, rafe was supportive of this decision, but made it clear that this wouldn't stop him from spoiling you with any presents and treats that he could think of - only the very best treatment for his girl.

that being said, you still wanted to see him as much as possible, and since your job offered flexibility, you decided to take the opportunity to be able to move with him when needed and continue to work for yourself.

the game was an important one - it was the game that decided whether or not the boys would make it to the superbowl.

rafe had been jittery the whole day before, pacing around in your hotel room and cracking every bone in his body. you had tried to get him to relax, but his mind was running wild.

he kept trying to find something to do. for example, he spent a whole 3 hours in the hotel gym, working out to prepare himself. you gently scolded him once he returned though, worrying it would only make him sore.

you then ran him a bath, hopping in as well so you could try to ease his nerves.

you made the environment as relaxing as possible, lighting some candles and incense, filling the bath with bubbles and lavender essential oils, soft jazz playing in the background.

you sat behind rafe, softly massaging his back to relieve the obvious tension. you whispered reassurances in his ear, wanting him to go into the game with confidence in his abilities, and a clear head.

"the only way your going to win tomorrow is if your thinking of what your doing in the moment, not the past, and certainly not the future. you have to be present and open minded, not driven by emotions or fear," you had reminded him softly, turning him around so he could look into your eyes.

rafe nodded, a serious yet tired look on his face. he worked so hard, and he was so good at what he did. you wanted this so badly for him, but knew that the only way he would play his best tommorw was if he got out of his head.

"i know, baby. you know how i get like," rafe murmured, bringing you onto his lap and tucking his face into your neck, prompting you to wrap your arms around his neck and run your fingers through his wet hair.

"if its any consolation, I'll be proud of you no matter what. you've worked so so hard this season, and everyone sees it. I truly cant think of someone more deserving of this than you, babe," you reassure, trying to make you voice as soothing as possible.

you meant your words of course, but you really did want him to win. you knew how competitive he could be, and like him, so were you.

so once the game started, you removed the sunglasses off your head and into you purse, sitting down and taking a long sip of wine.

it was a long game, rafe team managing to get the first touchdown, causing your section to jump up into the air and celebrate. the screen had shifted to your boxes reaction, zooming in on you and sarah hugging and jumping up and down in excitement, cheering louder than anyone else there.

rafe had looked up, trying not to get too excited and keep his head in the game, but seeing you jump around so happily for him caused him to break out into a large smile, blowing a large kiss your way before running to his groups huddle.

the game got a bit rough after that, the other team getting 2 touchdowns causing you to wince each time, taking long sips of you drink. any time rafe looked in your direction you sent him a proud smile regardless, wanting to keep his spirts and hopes high.

by the 4th quarter, the other team had 4 points on you guys, meaning all you needed to win was just one touchdown.

with about 5 minutes left, the two teams on the field hadn't managed to score any points, and you were starting to worry. rafe, as quarterback, was talking to the coach of his team with a serious expression nodding along to his words before running over to his team. using his hands a bit, he explained the play, looking at each of their faces to make sure they understood the plan.

once it started, you and sarah were squeezing eachother hands tightly, muttering words of encouragement as your eyes glued to the field. you could hear the voice of ward narrating to rose, explaining what he thought the play would be and what would be the smartest option. you wanted to role your eyes at his condescending tone, but decided against it, focussing your attention on the game.

you watched in focus as rafe threw the ball back to one of his teammates, and they passed the ball to another. you lost sight of the ball whilst keeping your eyes on rafe (a constant tendency), and before you knew it, you turned your head to see one of his teammates run across the end zone and hold the ball up high, celebrating his victory.

you all immediately jumped up, cheering in celebration. you face broke out into the biggest grin as you watched rafe and all of his team mates pile on top of each other on the field.

the game still had about 4 minutes left, but it didnt matter, because luckily, the other team didnt manage another touchdown, meaning rafe and his team were going into the super bowl.

you and rafes family met him out back of the stadium, instantly hugging and congratulating him. you of course held on extra long, kissing his face all over casting a red hue on his cheeks.

before going out to dinner all together, you and rafe went to congratulate other members of his team and some of his friends, talking for a bit about the events of the game.

during dinner you sat close to rafe, his hand on your thigh as you leaned on his shoulder, enjoying the high of his victory and chatting casually with his family. eventually you two parted from the other, walking the short distance back to your hotel and luckily not getting recognized.

the minute you stepped into the room you were on rafe, holding his face as you pushed your lips onto his, as he grabbed your hips in mild shock. once it wore off, he took control of the kiss, walking backwards to the bed. once his knees met the corner and he fell back, you straddle his waist, waisting no time to lift the shirt of his body, revealing his toned figure underneath.

soon the two of you were a mix of sweaty bodies under the sheets, writhing in pleasure and letting out muffled noises. rafe had you underneath him, arching your back off the sheets and letting out little whimpers, too embarrassed to be loud, fearing the thin walls of the hotel.

"let it out, baby, I want to hear you," rafe coaxed.

you whine, grabbing his tone biceps. "cant, rafe. people'll hear"

rafe laughed a bit sadistically, squeezing your waist and pounding into you hard. "don't care. want everyone t'hear how good m'making y'feel. c'mon, you can let it out, I know y'can."

you moaned a little louder this time, cursing loudly whilst you screamed. "fuck, please, rafe, m'so close."

rafe placed one of his hands on your lower stomach and watched as he pressed down, earning a high pitched gasp and moan from you, throwing your head back against the pillows.

rafe tilted his head up to look at you and his lips tilted upwards. "yeah? can y'feel me? right here in your tummy?"

you nod wordlessly, your body squirming in pure pleasure. "please, rafe, I need t'come."

rafe continued his pace, groaning gutturally as he approached his own high. "fuck, go ahead baby."

your walls clenched around his dick, and rafe watched, tranfixed as the white ringlet appeared near the base of his cock, becoming more and more definded every time he slowly moved in and out of you. the view made his reach his own organsm, cumming into the condowm as he threw his head back, his stomach clenching as he released.

the two of you spent the rest of the night cuddled in bed, watching a movie and snacking on the room service you had delivered. and you truly couldn't ask for a better way to celebrate your boyfriends accomplishment.

[i-yap]

Thinking about the wedding ask you answered before but what if Grayson proposed to his s/o and his s/o already bought a ring to propose to him as well? Like that would be so cute 😭💕

Hey sorry I'm a little late, in responding, I usually have a couple meetings on Thursday and after human interaction I'm too dead to do anything.

omg your request is so monica and chandler idk why..like that scene she proposes and..yea . Thats a really cute idea.

Dick grayson x reader

Some may consider being friends with your boyfriends ex weird, but barbara and kori were still a part of his teams and they knew what grayson had with you was something special and different. And so you became sort of friends..at least this way you got gossip on grayson. But it was also the reason why you were here, In a jewellery store. looking through wedding bands.

"And then he kept crying "take me to y/n" " laughed kori telling the story of Dick on anesthesia. You laughed back in return"What can I say, the man's a simp". "Yea never really saw him like that you know" replies Kori.

"Like what?" . "Loving someone so much, he was sweet with me, but he never really made effort. I guess I always knew it was a temporary thing. I couldn't even bring up commitment with him, I don't think I even heard him say the word "wedding" the whole time we were together."

"He is a litttle hesitant towards commitment I suppose, its his childhood- all that repressed trauma" you say , trying to cheer her up a little. "But with you it seems like he might even ask you to marry him- though the idea of him asking anyone to marry him sounds crazy"

"Why is that?" you ask

"Dont take me wrong, he loves you but I just cant see him getting down on one knee and -well popping the question"

And so here you are now. Staring at the perfect wedding band set . Was this a little unconventional ..yes. Did you care? Hell no. You knew Dick wanted forever with you. You guys had talked about kids, grandkids, what flowers you want in your wedding. He just wasn't popping the question and if he wasn't going to do it, you would. You understand he has his issues, but he is committed to you, he loves you and you can help him out with this little something.

After that talk with kori you had been monitoring Dick , He did talk a lot about marrying you but never really brought up the actual question. And you didn't want to wait longer. This was the man you wanted to spend forever with..its decided.

So you and dick plan out a perfect date. He was more than excited to make sure everything was perfect- saying he was just excited because you guys haven't had a proper date in while(which is a lie , dick takes you out every week for a fancy date )

But it turns out perfect. By the private beach, a pretty blanket with champagne and food. the sun setting slowly and a chill spring air which makes you sit just a little closer. You take out the ring just as the sun starts setting. Dick looks over perplexed. He looks at the ring, then at you smiling and then ring again. "Dick grayson, I love you. I never thought I'd meet a man like you, I didn't even know they existed. And they don't , you're special to me. You are kind and smart and really hot. There is no one else for me , its just you. Marry me?"

Dick gives the biggest smile, pulls you up onto the sand and get down on his knees before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ring. "y/n, I guess you beat me to it huh? Ive been carrying this ring for 3 months now waiting for the perfect moment. But every moment with you is perfect, you are perfect for me and you make me want to be the perfect man for you. Ive known that since the first date , I know that right now and I will remember it forever. Will you marry me y/n l/n?"

"First you answer my question" you hiccup, tears welling up in your eyes.

"haha, yes yes I will marry you y/n grayson"

"is this a bad time to mention I don't like your surname"

"We can change it, keep it something you like, like cupcakes..y/n cupcakes" he says tears in his own eyes.

you giggle as you pull him up, sliding the rings onto each others hand and kissing as the sun falls below the ocean's horizon.

[g1ucose]

i’m trynna indulge in that

(cathleen bate x number two hero reader)

questionable use of quirk…

A/N:hi guys this is sorta kinda a continuation of my number two hero x cathleen bate fic urmmm enjoy, i am kinda crazy over this woman. Also im supposed to be revising for my finals but… Cathleen is more important!! also this us a repost

——————————————————————————

Cathleen pushes up against the backs of your thighs, your legs dangling over her thick shoulders as she thrusts into you with her cock, unrelenting.

“stop staring, asshole.” you say as you clutched onto her biceps for some leverage as the force of her hips kept pushing you up the creaking bed.

“Enjoy it, gorgeous.” She says with baited breath, “this cock isn’t going to last forever, y’know?” 

When she mentioned using her new order on herself to physically grow a dick, you knew she was crazy but now that it was actually being put to use… you didn’t mind much.

“Oh- fuckkk-.. I’m cumming.” You clench your eyes shut, throwing your head back onto the pillows, your hand pushing against her hip in a futile attempt for her to slow down.

“Already, number two?—” She teases chuckling, her voice faltering because my god your cunt was just so tight. The feeling of being inside you was just exhilarating, this was way better than having your mouth on her cunt, this was way better than having your fingers stuffed inside of her. She got to be physically inside you.

She leans down towards you, pushing her whole body weight onto you ultimately pushing your knees to your chest. “You gonna take my load, huh pretty?” She asks you, rhetorically because she already knew the answer. You look her directly in the eyes you felt your impending orgasm, your eyebrows creasing and your mouth opening up just slightly watching her stare directly at you with an coaxing smile and thats what breaks you. you pull her down for a kiss whilst arching your back off the mattress and she comes in you with a slight groan her lips still connected to yours while her hands kept a vice grip on your hips, eventually slowing the rhythm of her hips.

[mikalame]

hiya!!! could you write a really sweet fic (story) about y/n and Bill getting a huge matching tattoo together and Bill being asked about this tattoo on an interview and he just gets really shy etc (could you make the reader female and a singer) please ?

bye :D

"Are you sure you want to do this meine leibe, this is gonna take a couple hours, and will hurt a bit being where it is" Bill asks, eyes searching your face for any sign you may not feel 100% about this, exspechily because its a tattoo that will be on you forever.

"Yes im sure Bill, I've researched and all plus ill ask for some numbing cream, are you okay bill" You ask thinking that the reason he keeps asking you if your okay is becasue he isn't.

"Of course, i cant wait" he says kissing your cheek giving you tight hug and pushing open the tattoo shop's door.

Time skip

"how are you feeling hun, you in any serious pain" Bill asks eyes scanning over you again looking down at you, eyebrows pinched.

"Im fine Billl" you whine playfulling pushing him away giggling.

You two smile at eachother and walk to your car you look at your forearm and the tattoo placed on it, the phantom pain of it comeig back to you but the pride and meaning of it over powers it.

Time skip again

"SO WELCOME..... TOKIO HOTEL!" the interveiwer yells at the camera, the crowd behind it full on fangirls and boys yell in exsitement waving their banners and posters around hoping to catch one of the band members attention.

As the band walks on the stage single file line they wave at the fans, the majority of them smiling wider and yelling louder, while the crazy super fans faint or start yelling not so innocent things (i dont blame them ahaha)

"Hello we are so happy to be on the show with you today" Bill says taking the mircophone from the interviewer so the audiance could hear them clearly.

"Well im glad, so today we have a couple questions to ask you, if thats all right with you all" She says looking over the band and seeing their nodding heads.

"Okay, great sooo the first question is from.... Marie asking if any of you have any big regrets in you career". She cocks an eyebrow then looks at the band, a smile on her face.

"Oh well uhm probably styling my hair with CANS of hairspray, kinda wish i just wore a wig but oh well" Bill says shrugging passing the mircophone along.

"Oh hahaha, Okay next question" She says smile dropping as she reads the next couple of questions out.

"Oooo okay this one is for Bill , aparently you were seen with ___ going into a tattoo parlor, do you care to show us what you got" she asks smirk stretching on her face.

"Oh, uhm no sorry" Bill says shaking his head in disagreement, but the interviwer just keeps on begging.

After a while it really started to get on him nerves, more so when she brought the audiance in on it as well, but bill just kept on saying no, blushing hinding if face.

The tattoo was very important to bill and he didnt feel like it should be made public like this, exspeachily when it had such a deep meaning for bill and ___.

"Oh, well sorry ladys and gentlemen thats all the time we have today, sorry i coldn't make bill show the new tattoo but mabey next time" she say fake smile still prominent on her face.

As the band walks of the stage fareing their good byes bill mutters under his voice.

"There wont be a 'next time'".

They all groan as they sit down in the tour bus, tom cracking his back as well as gustav. "She was real adamant on getting the tattoo shown" Georg laughs opening a bag of chips sitting down across from the boy.

"Yeah she need to learn to take no for an answer, she must be a real treat in bed" tom laughs sarcastically behind the two.

"mmh" bill agrees putting his headphones in listening to a song ___ and him made when he was staying at her house one of the first times they met thinking about calling her when they head off to check up on her.

SORRY GUYS I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT 😭.

taglist @oppopotamus @violentnewmarley @saumspam @adissonsss

[mugentakeda]

the weirdest thing about it just being the four of them is how insistent lu ten is about him and azula getting a vote in everything. hes trying really hard to stop feeling weird about it.

at first, zuko was more than okay with just going with whatever mom and lu ten have in mind. theyre the grown ups, after all, and they make a good team. they haven’t been captured, or even chased, so that has to mean something. it never really hit him how well they got along until now that theyre alone. he can’t help but start wondering about how long they knew each other before he was born.

and things between him and azula have been… awkward. he doesnt really know what to do with how well shes been taking this. something her and lu ten both do is that when they think nobody is looking, they get these really tense and faraway looks on their faces.

zuko is pretty sure it has something to do with dad and uncle.

it might be bad of him, but hes not all that upset about being away from dad. hes terrified of what will happen if they get caught, yeah.

but they wouldnt have any kind of fun in this crazy new life if dad was here, would they?

last night, lu ten grilled a bunch of big red fish over a fire, with some steamed bamboo. mom acted out a story for them as entertainment. its something she hasnt done in… well, forever. but she would stop and ask both him and azula what happened next, they both would yell out the possible answers, and mom would pick either or and change the story depending on which she chose to make the ending unpredictable.

its the ease he feels on ember island when just the four of them go, just in a different place. so maybe it’s not as weird as zuko thinks it is.

mom and lu ten decided that leaving was the only way to be happy and have opinions, so they left. the palace rules stopped that, and nobody went along with palace rules more than dad. so he didnt get to come with. mom and ursa aren’t very upset about that, so neither will he.

at the cost of his dad, yeah, and thats traitor talk, but hes alive, isnt he? agni hasnt struck him or everyone else down for being glad dad isn’t here, has she? he’s okay with that and they’re okay with that.

zuko decides as he stares up at the blue sky peaking between the tree tops, that he wont feel bad about wanting to be happy and giving his opinion anymore. and he’s not weird for that if mom and lu ten aren’t weird.

azula is way weirder than everyone that’s weird on the whole earth combined, though. so it might be harder for her to not feel bad about wanting to be happy or giving her opinion. or being happy about things that arent weird, because only the weirdest things make azula happy.

lu ten is better at talking to her than anyone else, but…

he scoots next to her on the rotted log she’s resting on, watching mom comically struggle to help lu ten prepare breakfast.

“do you miss mai and ty lee?” he asks her, forcing himself to sound casual. she hasnt tried to set his butt on fire since they left, but who knows what might change that.

“miss them?” she repeats, but not like shes mocking him for the question- more like she’s asking herself again.

“like, do you wish they were here too?”

his sister makes a face. “why would they be here? this is a family affair.”

“just go with it. for the sake of the question.”

azula rolls her eyes, but hums thoughtfully. trails off.

he tries something else. “do you think mom’s storytelling last night wouldve been better if ty lee was there doing interpretive dance?”

to his surprise, she snorts. “probably,” she replies. “and mai would probably enjoy the macabre of it all. the more drama and bloodshed, the better. you wouldn’t know mother likes all the dark ones just by looking at her.”

azula turns to him, suddenly. there’s something mischievous in her eyes that zuko immediately distrusts. “why are you asking? do you miss mai?”

his face immediately flushes. “no! i was just asking, cus, well…”

“oh, don’t feel the need to explain yourself to me, zuzu. its just the four of us in the middle of nowhere, after all-“

“i was just asking, cus you haven’t seemed… well… sad. about leaving. dad and the palace and stuff. you didn’t even say much when we had to burn our old clothes and wear this green stuff instead.”

azula pauses. she doesn’t quite scowl at him, but she furrows her eyebrows and twists her lips in this weird, thoughtful way. she turns back away from him and sighs.

“cousin lu ten didn’t carry me out of the palace like a little baby. he had to convince me why i should choose to come with. so this is me, standing on the decision i made. why should i be sad about something i chose?”

“i was asleep the whole time, but i think i would’ve said yes to mom if i was awake, too. i just wanted to know why you said yes. cus you… had more going on than i did, back home. this is… way different, for you.”

zuko really wants to believe that she didn’t just agree because she knew that dad wouldn’t punish her if they got caught. and he won’t know if shes lying to him about it either.

“i don’t think i would’ve said yes if mother was the one that came to get me instead of lu ten. even if, deep down, i wanted to come with. and then i would’ve been mad about it forever, and hated her and you and lu ten for leaving me. because mother just took you while you were mostly asleep, and now shes just lucky that you ended up being okay with it anyway.”

zuko startles at how easily she’s talking about this. maybe it’s the distance?

“but lu ten and i… are in the same boat. we’re the same, like how maybe you and mother are the same. and he told me how he felt. and i guess i figured i’d feel the same. so i decided to do the same as him, too. and i have yet to falter, just like how lu ten hasn’t faltered.“

his sister turns to him, very seriously. “father wouldn’t have done interpretive dance to mother’s stories. one day i’ll do interpretive dance to mother’s stories, and so will you and lu ten. so only people that are willing to do interpretive dance to mother’s stories are missed by me. does that make sense?”

he thinks he gets it. in this crazy situation, not feeling bad about wanting to be happy and having opinions probably would mean the same as being willing to do interpretive dance.

“i think my interpretive dance would be better than yours,” he blurts, instead of answering.

azula blinks, then narrows her eyes. “you wish.”

[josephtrohman]

As the president of the joe trohman nation, do you have any favorite joe era?

in short, the answer is yes! BUT with some caveats/technically i have THREE answers to this question even. i mean there is an answer i give for what is my singular favourite but i am a deeply annoying person, so... AND im also gonna put pics from the eras for fun bc any excuse to look at my fav joe pics. sorry anon if you didnt expect this level of answer but i am the president after all (put under the cut cuz. yeah)

so. first things first. if i had to narrow it down to just ONE era of joe as my favourite, it would be infinity on high era for sure. especially pre-beard, but with beard is great too.

some of my fav pre-beard joe looks ^ (HIM IN THE THNKS FR TH MMRS MV ESPECIALLY MY GAWDDDD THATS MY HUSBAND ON OUR WEDDING DAY FR. ok sorry)

BUT OBVIOUSLY. BEARDED IOH ERA ^ IS SO SO FUCKING FINEEEEE AS WELL god. (and the look he had at the 2007 vmas my gawddd you know the one). middle picture makes me crazy especially, red plaid and bi colours hat iykyk, n it’s currently my pfp on twt ;3

infinity on high era has been my fav for soooo sooo long, and it was definitely a crisis moment for me when i turned 23 and was like 😀 oh im older than joe was in this era. great. but even despite that i think it still will continue to be my fav era prob forever <3 (and of course unfortunately my feelings get a little bit complex about this era because of what we know from joe's book, knowing what he was struggling with. but i dont wanna get into that lmao...but at the same time i had to acknowledge the elephant in the room)

ok. so. like i said if i had to give one answer, the above would be mine <3 BUT heres some other thoughts i have.

my CURRENT fav joe era is 2009 post-haircut bearded joe (as maybe evidenced by my pfp). MY GAWD. MY GAWD. as a 24-almost-25-year-old, I DESERVE A 24-ALMOST-25-YEAR-OLD JOE.

not to mention how much they were putting fake blood/injuries on this man in bnd pt 2 tour!!! crazy!!!!!!!

okay and then my third answer is not just in terms of looks (although my god.....my god) but i would be remiss to not mention CURRENT ERA JOE AS FAV. because he's out here being sexy as hell, playing music with his friends, having fun, looking hot, being dilfy, so on and so forth... (this includes tourdust/2ourdust but since i saw joe in person at ayf it rewired something in my brain cuz he’s soooo fucking hot in person, so 2 ayf pics, and then also the first one the pic before download that Also rewired my brain 😵‍💫). also since they’re really new still here’s middle pic source and right pic source

OKAY AND THEN ONE HONOURABLE MENTION, late 2015 joe is so so special to me bc 2 of my fav pics joe of alllll time (prob both in my top 5 at least) come from then<3 here r the pics

was that a needlessly long winded answer to ur relatively simple question? yes for sure but i hope u enjoyed lovely anon <3

[kesouu]

I think he knows - taylor swift

A/n: why not come back with a Rin fic ey

Pronouns: not specified

You hear a car pull up outside your house and open your door to see rin coming out of his car and heading to your door step at his usual time, which was 8 pm. "You want a drink?" You ask and he only replies with a hum so you walk to your kitchen and pour some cold water in a glass and head back to rin who was now seated in the island in your kitchen.

Rin had just came back from practice and it was relatively cold outside so he brought a jacket that he must have removed while you were gone. You hand him the glass of water and you tried not to stare at how pretty he looked by just simply drinking water from a cold glass. You just wanted to go up to him and kiss him already but that would be wierd considering how you two are only best friends since forever. Pinning on a man like the Itoshi Rin was kinda hard considering how he is but you managed for what? 7? 8 Years? You've lost count, all you know is you're just so inlove with the man infront of you and he doesnt even know.

Rin suddenly gets up and reaches for his jacket and a sweater of yours you left on the sofa "put your sweater on, lets go out for a ride" you cant feel butterflies in you stomach as he gives you a boyish smile and hands you your sweater so you stand up and grab your house keys to lock up your house and turn around to see Rin already in his car. You get in the car and he starts driving "the streets are relatively empty for this time huh" you comment because you checked the wall clock you had up on your living room to see its only 8:30 in the evening "I know" is the only thing rin answers before speeding up "Rin why are you speeding up" you say in a serious tone "Why not? The streets are empty like you said right?" He chuckles and you could only sigh, but you must admit the adrenaline you get from the speed is kind of fun.

Rin rolls down the windows beside both of you and you shoot him a questioning look but he only shrugs. You get a crazy idea and you stick your head out of the window and start laughing, suddenly you feel 17 again enjoying the way the wind passes through your hair as you remember the first time Rin and you took a night drive back when he still used a motor cycle. Soon you bring your head back inside the car and Rin goes to reach out for your hair thats now a bit frizzy from the wind and it has your heart skipping beats just feeling his hand in your hair and holding it so gently. You realize that Rin has this look in his eyes when he's with you, and only you. Its a look thats similar to when he was a kid, he puts up an attitude around others but he lets you behind it and shows the him thats truely inside.

You look at him the whole ride till you feel the car stops and he goes to look back at you. He continues fixing your hair better now that he can use both his hands and he suddenly he brings your face closer to his and he suddenly whispers "i know you like me" while giving you a gentle smile "guessed as much that you knew already" you whisper back. Rin glances down at your lips and back at your eyes and asks "can i?" you dont hesitate to nod and you feel Rin's lips on your's, you card your fingers through his hair but soon pull away for air. You and Rin look at eachother for what seems like att eternity before you start laughing "what's so funny?" He asks "nothing, its just how long it took us to do that" you say between laughs.

Masterlist

About blog

[wordsbyt]

“And Then, the Devil Called”

Part 3 “A Beautiful Whisper”

“If death was a beautiful whisper, would you listen?”

I ask this, because that night I dreamt. I dreamt of people that were gone. And they felt alive. I woke up laughing at times. I was there and they were here. They were alive again in my dream.

Crazy thoughts. I was full of them.

Could the Great Pretender, the Prince of Lies, the Bender of Truths, be our only hope? Where was she at? Where was God when we needed her? Had we been truly forsaken?

All these questions.

So many.....

I hoped he would not call me today. Not that I had thought of any answers, but because I hadn’t. I was answerless. And I don’t really think anyone else had them either.

I wanted God to call. To hear her voice again. The calm. I needed to hear from her. But silence was all I got.

I thought, Heaven or Hell, what do we care? Maybe we’re already there.

Thats when I got a text. From a number I did not recognize. As I read it, I thought, “could it be her?” I hoped it was.

I was sure, it was.

The text said, “She pointed at the light.”

“That’s where I’m going. Take me to the light.”

“And so, we walked. It was uphill. It was a climb over rough terrain. I didn’t think we could make it, didn’t think we would last. But, the light grew brighter with each step. And as we walked, it felt as if something was carrying us. The path we walked narrowed, and we walked closer together. In heart and in mind. And just before reaching the top, she said , This is it. This is where I’ve always wanted to be. Where I belong.”

And I realized the path we walked, while not ever being easy, was meant to be. It was our path. For her destination was my destination. When souls converge, they walk the same roads. It was then I knew that even though we had reached the light, our journey was not over. Forever lasts a long time.

And this text gave me an overwhelming sense of calm.

It gave me hope in what some are calling a hopeless world.

I still wanted her to call, but God is busy, and I am but me.

I needed a message.

The message was hope.

[miraclesnail]

YOUR STOLL SERIES IS A MARVEL THAT WE SHOULD TREASURE FOREVER

THEY ARE SO FUNNY SILLY AND HAVE GROWN UP SO MUCH I LOVE THEM

THANK U VERY MUCH FOR WRITING THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE AND HOW U DESCRIBE THEIR INTERACTIONS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS IS FANTASTIC

and maybe they do not show it but they so worried about new campers. they welcome everyone in their family with open arms nd its just so nice. like a found family

Do u mind answering some questions? i would like to know about callie. i mean, she is six or so. how did she get to camp? her mom/dad dropped her there and left? a stayr? bc i image that it may be different from the way in which the stoll arrived. does connor feel kind of protective with her? not just because she is a toddler, but also bc he was the same age when he first stepped on camp. And she arrived kind of the middle of the war. What travis and connor make her do when they are in the battle? Does she wake up in the middle of the night terrified bc of nightmares? i mean how a toddler deals with all of that? do travis and connor send everyone back to sleep and take her out to calm her down? i cannot imagine their suffering during and after the war.

i dont know, maybe i just a want a chapter of callie jajajajaj

another one: do travis and katie end together? i hope so bc THEY ARE SO CUTE he is a golden retriever and she is not a black cat, maybe a grey cat. less hyperactive, but still supporting him

THANKS THANKS THANKS FOR ALL THE WRITING YOU ARE AMAZING I LOVE U ❤️

same anon that asked about callie here! I just realized sth: does callie (and other hermes children) really mistake the stolls names or she does it on purpose most times? bc i believe that after some time that u r all day and night with people that look alike, u can say who is who better than others. So I imagine that Callie tries to seem confused and cute so she can change the focus of what is happening (pranks, lies, not the importamt things). I also think that she and the others can identify the brothers even if they dont see their faces. And another question: when does travis let the children get away with lies? cause his lies detector is always turn on and he knows that better than anyone. So he knows they are children and they do not need to be call out all the time and that should feel they fool their authority figure/got away with sth, even if the things are just small ones well, i think thats really everything, thank u!

(I hope you don't mind me just copy/pasting the second part into the first ask)

Thank you for reading the series! It really, really makes me happy! 😊

I know the topics are kind of niche and I wrote them to suit my tastes, so I'm happy to know others like it as well!

i would like to know about callie.

To answer your questions, it's probably not what you want to hear 😣 but I like to picture Callie as a well-adjusted demigod for her age with loving parents who probably wanted her to start her demigod training early because weird things started popping up and they didn’t want to take any risk. I don’t think I had anything tragic planned for her like I did for my other OCs. I was going to write a one-shot for her where she tells the brothers apart by what snacks they like but I got ideas for Lee’s and Michael’s parts and they took years to write that I completely forgot about the cabin 11-snack chapter 😅. It’s more fluff than angst, so I don’t know if you’ll like it. But I like to think Travis and Connor are protective of her, just like they are with the rest of their cabinmates. I don’t think any of the counselors are crazy enough to let anyone under 10 or 9 fight, so I just picture them ordering their younger siblings to hide in their cabins. And those that they think are too scared/too incapable to fight like how I pictured in Clovis-nightmare. 

do travis and katie end together? 

I'm sorry, but there won't be any chapters with Katie and Travis in a romantic relationship. I probably won’t write Travis or Connor in any romantic/sexual relationship. Mostly because writing romance takes me a long time and also because I like the Will/Travis ship and I headcanon Connor as aroace. Sorry to disappoint. 

Friendship and familial relationships are far easier for me to write so that’s why the series is full of the & tags.

does callie (and other hermes children) really mistake the stolls names or she does it on purpose most times? 

I like to think most of yearrounders can tell Travis and Connor apart in seconds (except for Clarisse, because I legit don’t think she would hang out with them for any extended period of time), but for the summer-only campers I think it’s harder for them. I never been to summer camp so maybe I’m very wrong, but there’s not many one-on-one interactions with the head counselor unless needed, right? They’re just the people that keep things in order and help out the campers that's struggling to adjust? Especially in a big cabin like Hermes, not every camper will have a close relationship with Travis and Connor to the point they can tell them apart quickly. 

But they can always get them back to back and compare the heights easily enough lol 😆

So I imagine that Callie tries to seem confused and cute so she can change the focus of what is happening (pranks, lies, not the importamt things).

I like this so much! It's such a cute picture 😄

when does travis let the children get away with lies?

I like to think Travis and Connor are pretty chill. As long as their cabinmates' antics won't lead to someone dying, then they'll let it be. And in case someone gets super mad and wants to kill them, I'm super sure Travis and Connor got their back 👍

Thank you for the asks! Have a nice day!

[cerealmonster15]

Hi Cereal!! For the ask game, maybe 41, 42, and 43? :]

hi sand!!!!

41-Who’s your favorite character you’ve written?

pours one out for donut rvb he was my fave to write about for so long... most of my early fics were about him before i Didnt Write For A While lol. i also loved writing tango omgcp... whether or not they were accurate is another story sdfjlkfes... and then my brain fell asleep for a while

in my CURRENT ERA of fic writing. well. 🤔 lol it kinda goes hand in hand with my doodles actually lol my fave characters to both doodle and write are twst boys... cater diamond + jamil/azul <- those two are a SET. caters fun and i Love Him, but also writing jamil and azul like, it's DIFFICULT bc theyre very smart and complex characters [everyone in twst is complex and it's intimidating to write LOL] BUT in my silly ha ha nonserious [usually] realm of things, they are VERY fun to write together for bouncing off Funnies... they make me literally audibly laugh in the actual game and i try to harness that energy a lot of the time when i write for them. but they have a lot of potential for jokes, and genuine soft sweetness, but also some angst? like theres a lotta ways to go with them and it's fun exploring them TOGETHER!!!!!!!

Same with cater ive just had jami/azu on the brain for like a day

also writing normal was fun, ive only done it once but in terms of doodles he fits the blorbo slot that donut/tango/cater have for the dndads realm, so i could see him being my fave to write for if i get more dndads fic inspiration in the future!

^ questions that literally require like one word to answer and i gave multiple paragraphs LOL SORRY

42-What’s your favorite title that you’ve come up with?

ough. i dont like most of my titles LOL JSKLFJDS they are always SO last minute and the part i think the least about. i think i'd go with "The Comfort of Familiarity" [twst, jami/azu] or "New Memories in Good Company" [twst, riddle&cater friendship fic]. those are also i think some of my fave fics ive written in general so maybe thats why i also have titles i like more than others LOL

43-Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

OOH. thats a good one hmmmmmmMMmmmm. ok so two sides of the spectrum here - on one hand i LOVE LOVE FOREVER LOVE my usual silly cute fluffy goofs. i love those. i wish to keep writing those forever. HOWEVER. i also sometimes get embarrassed about being Too Cliche so maybe sometimes i feel like im holding myself from doing More Of That Full Blast kfldsjfel i dont have a specific rn bc my brain is static but. sometimes i want MORE corny cheesiness.

BUT ALSO. that doesnt really answer the question jkslfj AND on the other hand i do think i also want to like... sometimes i want to try writing more charged serious drama w/some angst? nothing too crazy serious and heavy bc still At My Core im a goofy lil guy who likes to feel good and i wanna make people feel good. but like that lovesong [dndads] fic idea i talked about a while ago... that one would be a bit more 'serious' in tone and a lil more steamy [but in more of like a fade-to-black way jsklfd im still not into writing explicit things] themed thing. it would be very different than what im used to which is why im SCARED to try lol. im afraid i wont pull it off and will look silly for trying >.>!!!!!

but one of my more recent [twst] fics was a lil more serious in tone so i am trying to branch out a little!! it still had a mix of some goofs and was overall a comfort fic at the end of things so im like, easing my way into different things klsfjfls

OK SORRY I TALK FOREVER THANK U SAND!!!

[fic asks!]

[plumpycakemix]

“wish you were sober”

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Ada Wong

Description: Just read this piece of words while listening to “Wish you were sober” by Conan Gray, trust me.

Note: LeonAda but make it painful (like they always have been) English is not my first language and I wrote this in like 10 minutes so please dont mind me if there is any grammar error T_T

̩̩͙*˚　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊☆.｡.:*　.｡.:*☆.・。.・゜

“Leon, come on, dont be such a bitch.”

As Ada saying, she was leaning on the bar with the 5fth shot of tequila in her hand. She looks at the young man in front, slowly sipping the margarita he called. He slipping it slowly, maybe for build up a cool man figure, or just simply because he hates the taste of it. But he does not think the girl beside him right now is afraid of anything ever.

Ada is the girl he ever dream for. She only exist in his wildest dream, like the prettiest star on the sky that he can not touch, only able to adore from afar. And he does not think of a future with both them in it. He can be the Sun, and Ada is the Moon. So close, yet so far. So familiar, yet too damn strange. It feels like a fever dream. Burning him from the inside out.

“What is it? Too stunned staring at my new ripped jeans?” - Ada said, notice Leon being a little zoned out.

“Cut it off Ada”

She let out a soft chuckle. A tight tee with ripped jeans look too great to be true on her.

The party only go wilder and wilder, and so does Ada. She let herself completely blend into the crowd. Something Leon can never exprerience once in his life, and maybe ever. He hates loud noises. The concept of jumping and dancing and screaming like a maniac in between hundreds of stranger give him a sort of extremely uneasy feelings. Nevertheless the fact that is, why the hell is he here, at a party? I guess we all know.

“You dont even know him enough to trade drinks Ada, thats crazy!”

“What? Thats how party work idiot!” - Ada mumbling at Leon as he trying to get her inside the car.

Leon feels like she can pass out right at that moment. He sighed, thinking to himself “Story of my life..” when slowly starting the car to drive her home.

Suddenly, Ada touch Leon hand softly. But tighter than ever she has been touched his hands. Leon look back at her. With the eyes of mixed feelings. Some surprise, some curiousity, some hard emotions he can not name. He feel his throat dried up a little bit.

When Ada lean in to bring him into a kiss.

A slight kiss. Their lips only touch for a matter of second before it breaks to nothingness again. Leon was in shock. He can not deny he was leaning closer, please for the moment to never end. He was trying to stay with it for a little bit longer, even for just one second or two. But it fades away. Just as fast as how it comes.

Ada looks at him. She looks sober, yet drunk more than ever. With a genuine look in her eyes. She hold his hand tightly, as if she let it go, she will lose him to the dark forever. Moreover, he will lose her. And Ada close her eyes. Let herself escape from the situation she just got herself in. Left Leon with thousands of questions that he might never get a proper answer.

He smile. Bitterly. It feels like a fate they can not get away with. She feels like a curse in his mind. That he can not, or even wants to, get rid of. Ada is like a drug, a cigarette, a cup of tequila, or all the toxic but addictive chemical on this world he can list out. Clearly, so obviously, he knows how much it hurts. He just can not let her go. As if she is a part of him. A part of his soul. A part of his life.

A part of his destiny.

“Real sweet, but i wish you were sober.”

[pwblogarchive]

October 2005

October 5, 2005

there is no beef. just seitan. just getting rattled over nothing. get down with the sickness.

just too much make up and no hearts just egos on the sleeves over here in fall out boy land.

the new panic record hypes itself, so i will shut my damn mouth.

"a kid who tells on another kid is a dead kid".

- petey

October 7, 2005

wow. now way too many updates. i wanted to apologize to everyone at the 9:30 club show in d.c. originally we were supposed to play a show called "shantytown" but the county it was supposed to take place in said that it couldn't happen at the last minute- due to noise regulations or something- we were not given that information. so instead, immediatly following the 9:30 club show we rushed over to a studio and played a small show we had promised we would do. we are sorry to skip out on anyone waiting outside.

some things that dont get enough attention or thanks, so google them:

plain white t's

lifetime (the band we would not exist without)

jason tate

equal studio

the stereo

armor for sleep

rob dobi

fueled by ramen

skyriter

rob hitt

keep on loving/hating.

fob

- petey

October 7, 2005

back on the saddle. i am not crazy or dead or whatever i keep being imed. i am super happy with this tour. been haning with panic at the disco a ton. me and patrick have been writing a bunch of new songs already. the first song we have written so far is called: "you can't spell star without A & R". the band has gotten really tight as friends again. joe is playing video games until his eyes fall out. patrick sits in the back and makes weird smells and amazing songs. andrew hurley is attatched to his sidekickm, i don't think he can breathe without it. and i am just watching it all go down. our bus driver got us a bunch of new bootleg movies. so we watched flightplan. my review would be: dont watch this movie ever. all the otherbands on this tour have been so good to hang out with------ me and nick are working on a new website thats gonna make your little brains get all warm and fuzzy if we put it together right. i haven't updated in forever. so i just want to thank you for always sticking around. and by you- i mean anyone who still even bothers looking around this site or letting us hit your bedroom speakers.

you couldn't be wrong. because i dreamt you alive.

i was just thinking about the summer. and my favorite moment was playing the gorge in washington- cool after dark. just past the bruised sky. you singing the words. a phone call home to the best. forever.

on the message board leave a thread about your favorite moment of the summer.

truefuckinglove

October 11, 2005

just cause you can.

take your shyness pills.

put it all on the line.

every single time.

just when you thought i couldn't get anymore flamboyant.

i got a new vest and some shoes with teddy bears on them.

yikes.

new october fall songs are gonna suprise you.

wait for it. wait for it.

- petey

10/11/05 Q&A

question

Peter, i think you need to have more respect for the other members of the band, like Patrick, i dont think he smells…and fob would be no where without him, or the rest of the guys! so please dont talk about him like that, it makes my heart hurt! thanks, love you guys!

answer

hahahaha. if you knew patrick you wouldnt say that. that kid is my best friend but not cause he smells like roses. cause he is just the best. dont worry about it. we’ll be friends long after this thing is over.

question

Pete, would you and Patrick be friends if Fall Out Boy never existed?

answer

we would have to be friends. cause i dreamt him.

October 12, 2005

new york city you are so amazing. jay z. william beckett. unreal. i will do a real update later.

i want to let you in on a secret, we are having a decaydance showcase wednesday night.

panic at the disco is playing tonight at the knitting factory with labelmates in octoberfall-

early show. there are still tickets left.

come dance yourself to life.

peter

October 15, 2005

happy sweetest day.

tour is pretty much the only place i feel at home.

for your pretty eyes:

dirty, korean tom cruise and me crash jay-z's 40/40 club

put your ideas in our body, put your body in our ideas: clandestine.buzznet.com

you're nobody until somebody loves you, at least that's half true.

xo

October 19, 2005

how much do we love you for making us number one on TRL. i don't even know what to say --- we always say it - but i feel like we dont say it enough.

people asked about the shirts we were wearing on fuse and trl - we got them up pretty cheap over at friendsorenemies.com - also there is a little video from the hush sound over there to introduce you to our silly little friends.

you love me but you don't even like me.

forget what you heard. brains are sexy.

October 24, 2005

Sunlight. Like the end of the world. In flashes but not mellow. We swim in schools. Down to the bottom. Down forever. I'm always clearing my throat but I've never got a thing to say. The opposite of a fever. The opposite of perfection. It's only you when I go to sleep and when I wake up...

I know that's a strange way of telling you that I know I'm supposed to love you.

I love this tour. Keep s(w)inging.

October 24, 2005

if you are coming to the irvine show on halloween, we expect you to be dressed up. we will be. and we will be having some contests and what not during intermission.

also, check out the new decaydance myspace at myspace.com/decaydancerecords. it's run by our friend adam from fueled by ramen (who also takes care of our myspace page at myspace.com/falloutboy). adam is the programmer who controls the robots in fall out boy's brain. obey him, because we do.

October 24, 2005

its funny the way you grovel when there are no microphones or camera flashes in sight. - take a stand. it makes me laugh. dot coms refresh for the drama.

- petey

[phenomenal-lady]

ARE YOU JUDGED OR DO YOU HAVE A STIGMA IF YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR DEPRESSION. Is that something that stays with you forever., I thought it is a good thing to get help. I hear a girl screaming in the street cursing and talking to herself. MABE THATS HER WAY OF RELEASING TENSION. People just look at her and keep walking. Even she has a man. ( go figure) I really don’t feel right now. I’m ok with all that’s going on in my life. I play my music to get away. Put myself in another mind set. I guess when I loose my hopes,dreams & home I really hit rock bottom. My dreams of someone saving me and taking me away this craziness is something that’s never gona happen . Guess I’m too complicated. Sometimes my body is falling apart. I’m so much pain and exausted.i guess I just answered my own question. I have blocked out pain for years. Now my meds block out my mental pain. I hurt myself so many times and didn’t know I was hurt unless I saw a bruise, burn or blood. Yes I’m F •••ed up.I’m not young anymore. I guess no one wants to take a chance with me. I have already been labeled coming out of a hospital for a break down. What hurts so much is I want to be happy with someone. I have my own home to myself. Where I can have company . But I’m alone. The one thing I do know is how ever long I will never comprise myself wit an abusive person. If rather be by my self . I hear the ppl upstairs yelling& cursing. They have grands up there so I really feel for the little ones. But I won’t ever tolerate that. That’s loosing yourself. NO MORE PAIN, NO MOTE PAIN

I listen to my music and think of good romantic things, then at the end it’s still just me. But I have peace of mind. I am just so tired of my love ones dying around me. Some body save me.

[crest-of-gautier]

2 hour session of pq today!!! went from 38% -> 89% done with the third floor of the 2nd labryinth! (i just need to open the door that was locked...)

today was a short session but i really enjoyed it! (some screenshots of transcriptions of my related favorite events under the cut)

i think the highlight of what i saw today was aigis :) the way she responds to things is very humorous to me. she doesn't always realize how her words come across but thats ok i still love her regardless. i just think the way that aigis has a continual work in progress of her understanding of the world is nice :3

there was also a thing about a love potion and rei goes:

Rei: Wait, they don't exist!? But it comes up in so many stories!

and i am!! once again!! reiterating my tags from my previous pq posting.

like all of the stuff i said here still stands... i think her line about the love potion just cements to me that rei is.. so very young. she's like a twelve year old to me. maybe younger. i don't know how old she is and i don't want to know until the game tells me what's bonking with zen and rei's identity...

i think in a previous pq post i had... some kind of spitballing about zen and rei with respect to the mechanics of persona q and subpersonas... it was mostly me wondering if their skillsets alluded to anything, but... lately i've been thinking about how rei takes up the bottom part of the 3ds screen in the same manner a subpersona does... and i'm like... trying to look at that and think about what that implies.

so you have me asking questions to myself, including, but not limited to: would this make rei a persona? how is she in that state? what caused that to happen? and if so where/how did she acquire abilities that are reminiscent of a subpersona? is it tied to whatever zen is?

there's definitely a part of me that leans into zen specifically being an entity of sorts, in the same vein of ryoji and marie- idk something about his skillset just makes me lean into this idea of him being a fragment of a powerful deity. god knows who what that deity's name is. but anyway. maybe if we operate under the assumption that zen is in an amnesiac state of an deity/entity whatever, this could mean that rei having abilities like a subpersona is because of him??

i dont fucking know man!! i'm spitballing based on what the game has offered and similar threads/themes i've seen from the persona games i've played/watched. groans. i'm fucking insane and it's going to take me forever to get answers because i'm a small little worm who's inching through this game and probably won't finish it until next year.

anyway. good game session. zen and rei make me crazy with conjecture (i would like to say that i can reach the boss of the group date cafe soon bc i want to see what zen and rei have to say about it post-boss fight so that i can spitball even more nonsense. but it'll probably take at least two sessions...? these floors sometimes take awhile). and i really enjoy how certain characters are highlighted through this game's interactions (aigis for today specifically). i love persona :D