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cherrykpawp · 8 days ago

Text

Heat // Ch 1

Rating: Explicit, Mature (M)

Summary: On his way home, Yunho stumbled upon someone with a pained voice. Curiosity winning the better of him, he found you, a calico hybrid, and decided you were his responsibility moving forward. Little did you know your life would change drastically, making new hybrid friends along the way, and becoming more adventurous than your old life with new experiences.

Pairings: Yunho x reader, Mingi x reader, San x reader, Wooyoung x reader, Yeosang x reader, hinted San x Wooyoung, hinted Mingi x Yeosang, hinted San x Mingi, hinted Wooyoung x Yeosang, hinted San x Yeosang

This fic includes: hybrids, Afab!reader, reader-centric, smut, fluff, angst, minor mentions of death, Dance instructor!Yunho, Owner!Yunho, Vet doctor!Hongjoong, Fashion designer!Seonghwa, Owner!Seonghwa, Vocal professor!Jongho, Calico hybrid!reader, Black cat hybrid!San, Dobermann hybrid!Yeosang, Husky hybrid!Mingi, Maine Coone hybrid!Wooyoung, switch!reader, Soft top!Yunho, switch!Yeosang, switch!San, Top leaning!San, switch!Mingi, switch!Wooyoung, Sub leaning!Wooyoung, cunnilingus, polyamory, threesomes, slow burn, nipple play, unprotected sex (WRAP IT!), creampies, breeding kink, blowjob, throat fucking, Consensual Somnophilia, possible established relationships, teasing, overstimulation, heats, begging, pet names, praise kinks, size difference, some dirty talk, hair pulling, sex toys, face sitting, fingering, voyeurism, squirt, swearing, bondage, slight possessiveness, choking, biting, love bites, eye contact, shower sex, floor sex, cockwarming, alcohol consumption, masturbation, mutual masturbation, mutual pining, scent kink

W.C: 7.6k

MDNI!!

“Thank you, please get home safe!”, It was a late and cold winter night in January. Snow barely stuck to the ground after weeks of its downfall allowing easier travels home instead of praying you wouldn’t slip on any black ice. Yunho stayed for ample time in his dance studio, wrapping up his playlist for next week’s classes and ensuring everything was clean for tomorrow's lesson.

Exhaling, he could see how cold it was from the condensation he released. It just made him wrap the scarf around his neck even tighter, he can't afford to get sick right now. ‘The guys are most likely gonna want hot chocolate as an excuse for the cold’, he thought. Luckily, there was a convenience store on the way home from the dance studio, where he could pick up some snacks too. Yunho shoved his hands in his pockets and trudged down the sidewalk, most places are closed at this time considering it’s almost 11 pm. The only places that should be open are certain restaurants, clubs, and 24/7 convenience stores. Walking into the store, the clerk automatically greeted him as Yunho became a familiar face around here. Because of that, he’d get discounts if they felt extra nice that day, and if this specific clerk was in today.

“Busy night tonight?”, the clerk asked. Yunho subtly smiled, “Very. Booked classes for the rest of the week, I’m grateful though that I only have to teach 3 of them before I’m allowed to rest for a few days”, he stated matter of factly. The clerk empathized with him before allowing him to browse around the store. Yunho picked up the guy's favorite hot chocolate with marshmallows, cough drops, tea, limited edition snacks he hadn’t seen before that he felt they would like, and hand warmers. He always thinks about the ‘what if’ possibilities as he hates getting sick, he detests it. Yunho brought everything to the counter and swiftly paid for everything, thanking the store clerk for his hard work and wishing him a safe trip home. “Tell San and Mingi I said hello”. Yunho waved his goodbyes before proceeding his way to his house.

He’s grateful that where he lives, his dance studio, and everything he needs are near him. One of the benefits of living in a city. He didn't live in the busiest parts of the town, maybe an hour or so away from the main part of it but it has its perks. He gets to live a quiet life, well semi-quiet considering he lives with two loud beings but other than that, it was silent for the most part. It was so hushed on the way home that he could hear a pin drop, except what he heard wasn’t exactly a pin. It sort of sounded like a mewl of some kind. He glanced behind him to see if maybe he was just hearing things or a stray animal. Furrowing his brows, he steered towards the alleyway in his direction and looked in it, squinting his eyes. It was dark, hard to make out anything until he heard the mewl again, louder this time.

“Hello?”, Yunho investigated, his words ricocheting off the walls. He second-guessed why he even said hello as if a stray animal could respond but waited for a reaction or response. Yunho tilted his head and almost proceeded to walk off until the mewl he heard this time sounded more painful. Curiosity getting the better of him, Yunho pulled out his phone and turned the flash on in the alleyway. He saw a woman with her head down, looking towards the ground, hair the length of her mid back and shielding her face, knees facing away from where he stood. Her palms faced upwards on either side of her body, registering that she was breathing slowly, She kept mewling in pain, appearing like she wanted to move but couldn’t. Yunho’s flight or fight activated immediately as he rushed towards her, “Excuse me mi-”, something he didn't see from his original position was that this lady had a long tail and cat ears, adorned with black, white, and orange. She’s a hybrid and from his knowledge a Calico type. She had bandages wrapped around her chest down to her midsection and her pelvis down to her mid-thigh, her tail wrapped around her arm, and ears flat on her head. She bored her eyes at the ground towards her legs.

“Are you hurt?”, Yunho questioned, inquisitively, trying not to alarm the hybrid before him. The nameless hybrid looked up, finally making eye contact with the golden-blonde male. Her lifeless and unreadable countenance gave little away, eyes dull and sunken. She switched from eye to eye, looking back at her lap in defeat. Yunho couldn’t understand why but was determined to get her to safety as the situation seemed grave. “Are you able to speak?”, he didn't get a response right away but she nodded timidly. “Do you want to speak to me right now?”, she negated which was more than understandable. “It’s cold out here, I can’t have you sitting outside by yourself like this. Do you mind if I bring you home? It's warmer there than out here”. She raised her head back up, looking at him wearily. Her eyes were glossy, something clearly must've happened to this hybrid considering how apprehensive she was, “I know a great doctor that specializes in hybrids, I can get you some help as well as food in your stomach, clothes, and a place to sleep if you allow me to bring you there. I don’t that far away”.

The calico hybrid hesitated again before nodding, giving her approval. Yunho wasted no time pulling up his contacts and calling his very close friend who’s a doctor. “Hongjoong hyung, it’s an emergency….No, it’s not about San or Mingi but I need you to come to my house as soon as possible”.

‘Hongjoong, San, Mingi…’, jotting down the names you heard him speak on the phone. You don’t exactly know why you were so trusting of him, allowing some stranger to take you home but you had to admit it was freezing. He seemed candid and didn't smell like bad news which gave you some reason to believe he would help you. Maybe you were desperate. Embarrassed and submitting yourself to him, you evaded your eyes from him as he got off the phone. You were uneasy because of your whole ordeal, currently in a vulnerable state, exposed to about anyone and anything and this stranger was finally the one person to stumble upon you to see you like this.

“Are you able to stand?”, the stranger asked, you shook your head. Your legs feel dead after walking for so long without rest. You're convinced that your soles were bleeding or bruised. Suddenly, warmth surrounded your body. The stranger put his coat over your shoulders, it was long enough to cover your calves if you stood. He also removed the scarf he wore and wrapped it around yours to guarantee you wouldn't get sick. The stranger turned his back towards you, still kneeling, “Please hold on to my shoulders, I’ll bring you home”. Considering he’s risking his health for you, you held on with a tenacious grip. He carefully wrapped your legs under his arms, alleviating some pain before standing up and walking with you on his back out of the alleyway. As soon as the two of you left the alleyway, a gust of wind hit instantly. You felt terrible

like you were burdening the man with these harsh temperatures. You attempted to wrap his coat over the both of you so that he wouldn't get blasted by the cold.

“I’m okay, don’t worry about me. We’re not too far, I promise”, he appreciated you being solicitous about him. You rested your cheek on the nape of his neck, letting yourself be carried to wherever. “Sorry for not introducing myself earlier, My name is Yunho. Hopefully, I can learn yours in time”, he spoke apologetically. Another name to jot down for later.

“....Y/n”, it came out as a whisper from how dry your throat was. Yunho turned his head slightly, eventually looking back in front of him. He was shocked that you spoke earlier than he anticipated, Yunho thought he’d have to wait a while to hear it. He would’ve honestly waited for however long it took for you to get comfortable to speak anyway, his heart warmed up instantly. “Y/n. What a pretty name”, he complimented you. Yunho couldn't tell but you feigned a smile. Happiness wasn’t something you could fake, especially in the condition you were in now. But you’ll fake it just this once, still on a thin line of trust with this stranger you just met….well…Yunho.

He at least wasn’t lying when he said he didn't live that far. It took him about 10 minutes to reach home. The whole time he was walking, it was rather quiet. Probably because he didn’t want to startle you or anything, preferring that it was for the best. Yunho rang the doorbell with his forehead since his arms were preoccupied with you and a bag in his grip. Five seconds passed before the door swung open.

“Hyung do you know how late it…..is…”, you heard a male voice at the door, not bothering to look up, loathing at your current state. “Yes San-ah, I’ll get into details soon but I need you to do me a favor and prepare a glass of water. If there's any soup, please make some. Hongjoong hyung is on his way over soon”, Yunho strolled into his house, and the male who opened the door for him closed it as soon as he brought you in.

“What smells like spoiled fruit?”, you heard another voice emit from somewhere, a more baritone voice. Much deeper than the first voice you heard at the door. Yunho sat you down on the living room couch. You gripped his coat tighter around your body since you were in an unfamiliar setting. “I’m not sure what you mean by that, we don't have fruit lying around and I feel like I would have smelt it”, Yunho placed the bag he was carrying on the table in front of the couch, “then again you do have heightened senses so.” Yunho kneeled before you, your eyes laser-focused on him, too scared to look up at the others surrounding you. “I’m gonna get a washcloth to wipe you down a bit. After my Vet friend gets here, I'll make sure you get a real bath”, Yunho reassures you, leaving you in the living room.

“She's the one that smells like spoiled strawberries and sour lemon”, the voice of the first male uttered to the other. Your ears, if possible, flattened even more on your head at his comments, “Oh no I’m sorry. I was just letting Mingi know where it was coming from”, if Mingi was the one that asked, you could mark off this voice belonging to San. “Way to go, idiot”, the deeper voiced male scowled, causing a huff from San because he made things awkward. He should've just kept his mouth shut. A thought came across your head, heightened senses? How did they know what your distressed scent smelt like? You took it upon yourself to finally face the two men, their appearances finally making sense.

Yunho has two hybrids; one being a black cat hybrid and the other a husky hybrid. The Black cat hybrid dressed in a black shirt that laced up from the bottom up and molded along his burly body, exposing a bit of his chest, and wore black jeans that hugged his thighs beautifully. His hair appeared so silky, almost glinting against the fluorescent lights. A side part exposed some of his forehead and a pronounced beauty mark on his cheek. His ears were just as shiny as his hair and tail which swayed behind him. The husky hybrid was on the taller and broader side, not as much in the shoulders as the cat hybrid but he was colossal. His hair had a mix of white and black, his ears and tail mimicked those colors. He also had a beauty mark, it was more pronounced in your opinion than the cat hybrid next to him, pinpointed below his eye and on his cheek by his jawline. His lips were luscious and fleshy, not chapped in the slightest. He settled for a black shirt with a dark denim-washed jacket and baggy black jeans but he was decorated with jewelry. Chains around his neck, rings on his fingers, and bracelets to match. He appeared like the more flashy type out of the two. Their looks truly humbled you, you probably looked disgusting to them feeling more distressed and eyes glossing again.

“Hey hey, don’t be upset. San sometimes doesn't know how to read the room”, Mingi put his palms out, ears flicking as he earned a ‘Yah!’ from San. “You pointed it out first, I was just clarifying”, San pouted, his tail swaying low. San forgot the cup in his hand and handed it to you, “Are you able to drink this by yourself? Do you need a straw?”

You shook your head from side to side, gratefully accepting the glass of water. Learning that San and Mingi were hybrids comforted you, the fact that they were well taken care of showed that Yunho is probably as trustworthy as he seems. Downing the glass of water instantly, you smacked your lips a couple of times, exhaling deeply. “Another?”, San asked and you timidly nodded. He took the empty glass and refilled it, he decided to bring the pitcher of water in case you needed more. You took the cup from him again, taking smaller sips this time trying not to come off as desperate. “What’s your name?”, San inquired, he positioned himself on the floor with Mingi following along. They displayed high regard towards you, distancing themselves so you’re not uncomfortable.

“Y/n..”, announcing more confidently this time since your throat isn’t dry and allowing yourself to relax. “Sorry for burdening you with my scent, I know I don’t smell all that great..”

Mingi pursed his bottom lip, “You don’t need to apologize for that. You’re tense and your stress signals are all over the place. May I ask what happened?”, Now it’s Mingi’s turn to look foolish as you look down at the glass. “Way to go”, San mocked Mingi, his tail hitting Mingi behind his back. Mingi tried hitting him back with his tail but it could only reach so far considering he isn't a cat hybrid, so he settled for just hitting his arm. San almost started bickering until Yunho approached with a bowl of warm water and a washcloth. You finally took in his outfit, he wore a cream-colored top with a buttoned V-neck shirt and black jeans. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the protruding vein along his forearm and beautifully long fingers.

“Boys, move away from her. You're probably suffocating y/n”, Yunho scolded them but not really, imperative that you aren’t. They listened well, moving from their spot on the floor just a few feet farther from you near the TV, having you still in their sight. Can you blame them? They were curious about you. “Sorry about them, they like meeting new hybrids so if they were bothering you please let me know”, the blonde male gave you a warm smile. You attempted to give a small one back but it quickly dropped. “I’m gonna wipe your face first”, he informed you in advance.

The warm washcloth ran across your face, removing any dirt or grime that could have been on it. He made sure to get around your eyes and under your chin. You honestly wanted to purr but fought the feeling. Moving your hair out of the way, he tended to your ears and neck, thoroughly cleaning the area before dipping the cloth back in the water. “Do you mind removing the coat so I can wipe down your arms and legs? I won’t do too much since I still plan on running you a bath. It’s just to make sure you feel more comfortable”. Taking the coat off and laying it next to you, Yunho mouthed to Mingi to put it away so he could continue tending to you. Mingi put the coat away swiftly, taking his previous spot back on the ground by San.

San and Mingi noticed you had bandages wrapped around your torso and pelvis but didn’t pry, rather waiting to find out when you were well acquainted. Yunho ran his cloth over your hands first noticing the scratches on them, getting in between your fingers and wiping away at any dirt he saw around your arms, chest, and back; whatever exposed skin he could get to. He hummed slightly, in his own world as he got everything he could. Lastly were your legs and feet, you had a slight bruise on your knees most likely due to the concrete. He didn't want to press the matter until Hongjoong arrived since he was not a medical professional. The bottom of your feet were also scratched and slightly swollen, making sure to wash off all the debris to remove any chance of infection. Once pleased with his work, he got up to throw the water out and put the washcloth in the hamper.

You sat on the couch, feeling exposed in front of two hybrids whose tails swayed behind them out of curiosity as they watched you. Your hair covered half of your face, back, and chest. Your hands were in your lap, eyes darting back at the cup and the table fixed in front of you. You weren't sure where to look or what to do anymore without Yunho as a distraction. Ears were in it’s “airplane” mode and your tail wrapped tightly around your waist, too nervous and trying to comfort yourself. Luckily, the doorbell rang and Mingi shot up to answer it, “Hello, Hongjoong hyung”, he greeted, San waved from where he sat, now looking in the direction of where Mingi and the doctor were.

“Hi kids”, he said endearingly, San smiled genuinely at the nickname. Cautiously, Hongjoong walked to where you were and pulled a chair by you, “And hello there miss”, he greeted you with a heartfelt smile. You pulled your eyes from the glass in front of you. Was everyone around here handsome? His hair was a lighter blonde than Yunho’s and similar lengths to Mingi’s but the sides were shorter. He sported a black turtleneck and brown slacks with a bracelet or two on each wrist. His ears were decorated with multiple piercings and he had such a pretty nose. “What’s your name?”,

“Y/n”. San answered jovially, making Hongjoong hum. “Thank you so much for letting me know”. Yunho returned from the restroom, sighing in relief seeing that his close friend reached in time.

“You have no idea how grateful I am for you to come and stop by. I saw her outside and couldn't leave her. I know you feel how cold it is out there”, Yunho seemed perturbed for how long you were in the alleyway. “Of course no problem. However, considering how late it is, I’m staying the night. Don’t worry, I’ll take this couch and leave in the morning. I just don’t feel like traveling home so late. The trains aren’t coming for the next 40 minute intervals”. Yunho agreed with his friend.

Hongjoong opened his case of medical supplies, reaching for gloves first and putting them on before grabbing a sterile metal pan on the table, “Now Miss Y/n, I will be examining you and asking you some questions. I know that there are lots of eyes on you right now in the room, would you like them to leave to allow you some privacy?”, he queried, placing a liner pad on top of the metal tray as he assembled all the necessary equipment for your check up. You scanned around the room, although you didn’t fully know them yet, you weren’t that uncomfortable. So you shook your head, assuring him that you were fine. Yunho had grabbed a chair himself and placed it on the opposite side of Hongjoong, arms crossed as he examined everything Hongjoong was doing.

“First things first, how old are you miss y/n”

“23”

“From what I see, you’re a calico hybrid, am I correct?”, you confirmed. “How long have you been outside?”

“About…3 months, almost 4”, you revealed, Hongjoong visibly perplexed, “you were out in this weather for that long?”, twiddling your thumbs, a small ‘yes’ escaped your lips. “How did you get in this position, Hun?”, he already gave you a nickname, how comforting. Honestly, the question itself was hard enough to answer but you’d rather answer it once than reiterate.

“My previous owner passed away” you started slowly. “They were going to take me away but I didn’t want to return to the hybrid center because I wanted to be wherever my owner was. Plus, as you may know, the older a hybrid gets, the less likely they’re chosen to get a home anyway. I didn’t want to risk that”, looking down at your hands, you closed them and placed them on your knees. “I was naive to the outside world as I was mainly an indoor cat so I easily trusted others….”

Hongjoong noticed how minuscule your voice got after that, he didn’t want to push anything out of you that you weren’t willing to share. “May I ask why you're wrapped in bandages? Did you get injured while outside?”. “No. My clothes had torn while traveling. I found these bandages after searching for food and had to cover myself some way. These are a month old now”.

Hearing this broke Yunho’s heart, he couldn’t fathom what it must’ve been like if he were in your shoes. The hybrids wore a saddened expression, ears flat on their heads. You noticed it right away and felt self-conscious. Yunho saw how you reacted, “San, is the soup done?”, diverging the attention from you so that Hongjoong could continue with questions. San immediately clocked what Yunho was trying to do, mentally slapping himself for making you feel bad unintentionally.

“When was the last time you ate a proper meal that wasn’t scraps?”, Hongjoong hung the stethoscope around his neck, he was forbearing as he waited for your answer. “....about 2 months now”

‘I see”, Hongjoong jotted everything down, “considering you don’t want to return to the hybrid center, we’ll figure something out for you. In the meantime, I’m going to do the procedures now and take blood samples, okay?”. You hummed, acknowledging him.

Hongjoong instructed you to plant your feet on the ground and to sit upright so he could wrap the blood pressure kit around your arm, squeezing the pressure ball. You felt it tighten and tighten before he released the pressure. Removing it from your arm, he clamped an oximeter on your finger and brought a thermometer under your tongue. Yunho kept a watchful eye on numbers, having seen this done several times for the boys, and to remind Hongjoong in case he forgot although he doubted he’d forget. He removed tools, wearing the stethoscope, and brought the metal to your chest, “Deep breaths”. You did what he asked, watching him move it to different parts of your torso and back. Hongjoong removed it and put it away. “You have a slight fever, especially since you've been out in this cold for a while. I’m glad it’s not pneumonia or anything worse so far. Your blood pressure is higher than it should but I’ll mark it off of you being stressed unless the blood work says otherwise”.

Nodding, you watched as he grabbed a tourniquet and tied it around your arm. Hongjoong wiped the area with an alcohol wipe as your vein slowly protruded before sticking a needle in it. You winced at the prick but you're confident you've felt worse. He grabbed a couple of vials and collected your blood to sample in his office later, after he was done he covered the needle mark with a bandaid. “Before I proceed with this next needle I must ask, when was your last heat?”

Sheepish, you answered him. “3 months ago”. A shocking revelation to the hybrids behind Hongjoong and Yunho. San had returned a while ago after checking on the soup, he was just naturally discreet.

“Ah, really? That’s not good”. “Why? What will happen?”, Yunho expressed concern. “Heats are usually every other month. But with her position, stress levels, and possible trauma, her body wasn’t granting her to have one. All this means is that her next heat will be worse than what a hybrid usually experiences and it will last longer”. Hongjoong frowned, looking at his friend. “We’re going to have to decide what we’re going to do now before I administer this next shot.”

You watched the two blonde males before you waiting for an explanation. The doctor starts, “So miss y/n and Yunho. I’m going to need consent from both parties but mainly y/n. Would you allow Yunho to adopt you if the proposition was given to you? If you decline the offer, I can’t help but have to send you to a hybrid clinic but for older hybrids so you wouldn’t feel as terrible about getting adopted.”. Your heart started racing a mile a second about having to return to a hybrid clinic, “Yes, I would allow him to adopt me if it wouldn't be too much. Especially since I feel like I’m already invading the privacy of San and Mingi”

Mingi tried to play it off cooly like he wasn’t delighted to have another potential hybrid friend in the house, “you’re not invading our privacy at all, we’d love you here”, he feigned excitement as if his ears weren’t pointed up and his tail wagging ridiculously behind him. It hit San several times but he ignored his cries to relax. You genuinely smiled this time at how silly they were, now San’s tail is swaying faster because he adored your smile.

“Would you be interested in adopting y/n, Yunho?”, Hongjoong asked his friend. Yunho didn’t have to think hard about it, reverencing your wishes on not wanting to be put in a clinic. But you’d have to be the last hybrid he gets because he doesn’t have enough space after you. “Of course”, he respectfully bowed to you, displaying his gentleness for you. You bowed back.

“Great. Then it’s settled. I have the adoption papers in my case for you both to sign and then I’ll bring it to my office tomorrow to place you in the system.”. He halted the last bit of the procedures, removing his gloves to hand you the paper so you could examine the consent form and see if you agreed. You signed after reading it all, giving the paper to Yunho, signing his signature.

‘Hyung, we have a new friend’, Mingi exclaimed enthusiastically to San, causing Yunho to shake his head at them and chuckle, wrapping up the signing.

“Trust me miss y/n”. I’ve known Yunho for a very long time, he’s the kindest spirit around and a gentle giant”, Yunho playfully brushed off Hongjoong’s sappy words, “as for those two knuckleheads over there” earning a ‘hey!’ from Mingi, “you’ll be more than entertained. They love making friends and meeting new hybrids. They have two other hybrid friends that you’ll most likely meet soon. However, I do have to let their owner know to give you some time to adapt before you meet them because one is known to be a handful and doesn’t know what personal space is. I don't want you to get suffocated by him.”, he mentioned candidly. Two more hybrids? You wondered what breeds they would be.

“For the last three procedures, I do have to check your urethra and insert an IUD. Urethra to make sure there isn’t any blockage and IUD considering I don't know how you’ll plan to handle your heat but I doubt Yunho would want kittens running around. It’s also mandatory until you are 100 percent sure you want them, then he’d have to accommodate”, Hongjoong stared him dead in the eyes, “you’d have to accommodate her”.

“Hyung, I heard you the first time”, Yunho chuckled. “I know, I just like to reiterate. Especially since she’s officially your first female hybrid. I’ll leave a list of heat hotels and prescribe suppressants in the morning to have them sent expedited the same day because we don’t know when her heat will come”.

Hongjoong put on new gloves, grabbing the contraception and an alcohol wipe. He cleaned a spot in your inner forearm and carefully inserted it inside your arm. It hurt of course but you handled it like a champ, earning a ‘good girl’ from Hongjoong. Finally, he picked up a needle full of clear liquid, releasing any air bubbles. “This is a pheromone enhancer. I wanted to do this last because she’d be more easily persuaded to do things she probably wouldn’t have wanted to do in her normal state. That’s why I asked for her consent for the adoption papers and such”, he educated Yunho since he never had this done to San and Mingi as they never needed it. Hongjoong turned to you, “It’s gonna make you more sensitive but only for a while. It will wear off in an hour or two. It will relieve any stress you are experiencing and amplify pheromones but will make the urethra procedure more comfortable. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I do. But my scent isn’t that great right now, I don’t think San and Mingi want to smell spoiled fruit any longer”, you winced at your own words. ‘That’s what Mingi meant earlier’, Yunho mentally noted.

“One, they can live”, Hongjoong said abrasively yet playfully. “Two, It will return your scent to normal instantly and when it wears off it will stay normal until your levels of distress are heightened again so there’s no need to worry hun”, he smiled towards you. You were relieved, giving him an ‘okay’ to administer the shot. He cleaned a spot on the top part of your other arm, injecting it in. Immediately, your arm felt hot. “Yunho, something I need from you”, you began to purr softly, tail unwrapping from your waist and swaying behind you. Your ears were raised and your skin felt raw but in a good way.

“Oh…”, Mingi’s tail stopped swaying fast and instead lowered a bit, swaying slower. San’s tail swayed softer, inhaling the new scent you were releasing. “She…she smells of..”, San started but Mingi finished, “chocolate musk and strawberry”. You blushed at their reaction, looking at Yunho’s eyes, not bothering to tear them away from him.

“Yes hyung?”, Yunho stared back for a bit, seeing how your personality changed from one shot.

“Get those two out of here. I’m not saying they’ll do anything, it's more so that the urethra procedure is more exposing. Bring a towel, run a warm bath for her, and prepare fresh clothes. You’re going to have to buy her clothes of course and toiletries like pads and tampons. I know you have an extra guest room, that should be hers and she’ll need a lock on her door in case there are times she wants to isolate and be by herself. She also just deserves her privacy. Her meal plan for the next week will have to be light soups, noodles, and oatmeal before you give her solids because she is malnourished. And in case her heat comes and she doesn’t want to spend it with anyone, please get her some heat toys. It is safer for her to spend her heat with someone though”, Hongjoong finished laying down a whole list for Yunho.

He got to work right away seeing as your purring became more audible. Your tail wrapped around Hongjoong’s arm, catching his attention. He pet your head, making you lean into his touch. “Boys, head to your room, come on. You’ll see y/n tomorrow”. Mingi and San stood up, wishing you a good night before heading to their rooms. Yunho grabbed a towel for Hongjoong, gaining a ‘thank you’ from the older male. He left you alone so Hongjoong could finish the last of the procedures. A warm bath was run for you upstairs, venturing to his room to find clothes small enough for you. He felt bad, wishing he prepared better but how would he have known you'd come into his life suddenly. From his closet, he reached for a black long sleeve, boxers, grey sweatpants, and socks. He brought the clothes to the bathroom down the hall, placing them on the toilet seat; the hybrids have their bathroom downstairs but since the guest room is upstairs, you might as well share the bathroom upstairs with him. He provided an extra toothbrush for you, the one thing he was grateful for was that his body wash was vanilla scented. He didn’t like the harsh scents that were considered “overly manly” because they never appealed to him.

Yunho heard his name being called from downstairs, marching his way downstairs. Hongjoong took his gloves off and packed his tools away. “Everything’s done, her urethra isn’t blocked luckily. Again, I’ll be here on the couch and plan on leaving early in the morning to give in these samples and hand in the adoption papers. You can take her to bathe now, but make sure she eats after her bath. I don’t want her sleeping with an empty stomach”. Hongjoong pet your head again, “have a good rest sweetheart”.

“You too”, you replied. The towel Yunho brought downstairs was wrapped around your waist, Hongjoong had disposed of your old bandages from your pelvis but kept your top one on. Raising your arms, you reached for Yunho to carry you since your feet were still out of commission. Yunho gladly picked you up bridal style so the towel wouldn't slip off you. After the two flights of stairs, he sat you on the edge of the bathroom tub and locked the door behind him.

“So…”, he clapped his hands, his ears turned red.

“So…”, you repeated his words, tail still swaying behind you.

“Are you comfortable with me washing you or would you like to do it yourself? I’ll be right out the door if anything.”

“You technically did earlier, I don’t see why not”, you shrugged, no longer feeling uncomfortable. You’re not wrong but you get why he’s asking, “I’m fully aware of what’s happening you know so don’t feel uncomfortable or feel like you’re taking advantage of me”.

Yunho eased a bit after that. “Okay. I’m going to remove these bandages now”. He grabbed the end piece of the bandage, unraveling it off your chest until it fully exposed you, chest and all. He turned around and discarded the bandage into the garbage. Yunho turned your legs to dip them into the tub, removing the towel from your waist to submerge yourself in the warm water. It reached your chest, making you want to relax deeper into it. You close your eyes and immerse yourself in this experience that you haven’t felt in a while.

“Don’t fall asleep on me now”, Yunho chuckled, he dipped a washcloth into the water and poured some vanilla body wash on it. Feeling him scrub your back felt amazing, it felt like it’s been a millennium since your last wash. Your purrs amplified even more, only because you felt content. You let him run the cloth over the front of your chest and down your torso, almost placing your head on his arm. Yunho grabbed your arm, scrubbing both of them, “am I being too rough?”

“Not at all”, Your chest vibrated, “It feels amazing”. Yunho blushed at your words, happy to see you more serene than on edge like earlier. You could see how reluctant he was to go any lower, “I could do it if you don’t want to”, grabbing the cloth out of his hand.

“Thank you”. Yunho gathered water to pour it over your head, placing a hand over your forehead to shield your face from the water. One thing he forgot to reach for was his shampoo and conditioner. As he got up to grab it you cleaned your lower half, wanting to react but didn’t want to startle him. You were still sensitive to the shot given by Hongjoong.

Yunho carefully washed your scalp, thoroughly getting every inch before grabbing a comb and combing from the bottom up to untangle. He’s never had hair this long but he’d rather take his time detangling it than ripping it out.

“Yunho..”, you peeped after minutes of silence. “Yes y/n?”. “Thank you for finding me and taking me in. It doesn't feel right for me to invade your home but you never made it seem like I was a bother and you’re very gentle just like Hongjoong had mentioned earlier. I would’ve been fine with the check up from him and put back outside”.

Yunho frowned at that statement, “I wouldn’t have allowed that. Hybrid or not, I still would’ve helped you because that's just human decency. I know people in the world lack it but it’s something engraved in me since I was small”.

“That’s a beautiful trait to have. We need more of that”, your eyes fluttered, staring at the wall. He could sense something was still wrong but you’ll open up eventually he pondered. Yunho washed the rest of the conditioner out of your hair, “are you able to stand for me to dry you?”

“Can I be honest?”

“Of course”

“No. My feet are pretty beat up, I’m so sorry”, you felt pathetic.

“No need to apologize, seriously. I’ll take care of you till you can and so will the boys”. You’re glad your intuition was right about trusting him and lucky enough to see that he had hybrids himself. He helped you sit on the tub’s edge again, pushing the mat by it to catch the water before swinging your legs over and onto it.

Yunho grabbed a separate towel, briefly squeezing the water out of your hair, and wrapped it in it. The other towel he had prepared for you was used to dry you. “I hope you don’t mind the boxers or oversized clothes. This is all I had. We can order some stuff in the morning”. You nodded, you weren’t bothered at all by the clothes. It’s better than bandages in the cold. He dressed you quickly, admiring how the sleeves bunched so much around your arms and pants legs. He acknowledged that the pants weren’t hybrid friendly but you didn’t seem bothered. Yunho was going to brush your teeth for you but you wanted to do it yourself since it’s something you can at least do. He settled for blow drying your hair so you didn’t go to bed with wet hair.

After everything was done, he lifted you bridal style and brought you back downstairs to eat something at least. He knew brushing your teeth before eating was redundant but you had to eat. Hongjoong was dead asleep on the couch, snoring like some old man. Yunho sat you at the dining table a couple of feet away from the living room area so he could prepare some soup in a bowl for you. You admired his house layout, it was a bit bigger than your previous place but the ceilings were a little higher. Pieces of artwork were displayed throughout the house and had a nice backyard with a sliding glass door that was fenced off. The dining table was made of black and white marble so it looked expensive, you wondered what he did for a living.

Yunho came back with a decently sized portion of soup and noodles. Placing it in front of you, you thanked him and drank some of the broth first with a spoon, indulging in the rich flavor it offered. He took a seat across from you, watching you eat. You seemed so focused on the soup, eating desperately because this was the first home-cooked meal in months.

“I might have to call out of work in the morning to watch over you”, Yunho considered, he didn’t want to leave you immediately without seeing what your first day in a new setting would be like. “I wouldn’t want to risk getting income because of me”, Yunho shrugged at your comment.

“I wouldn’t be coming home until later again and I’d rather hurry and get your necessities. Plus, my other dance teacher will live without me”

Your ears rose, learning something new about him. “You’re a dance teacher?”. Yunho nodded, which explains why he’s so lean. Tall too, at least an inch taller than Mingi. “That’s interesting. I wouldn’t have imagined”

Yunho’s ears turned red, “what did you think I was?”.

“An actor”, you deadpanned, “you have such a handsome face, handsome people are usually actors”.

Yunho smiled at the compliment, “Acting was one of my dreams but dancing was always my passion and now I get to teach it”, pride swelling his chest.

“Must be lovely to live your dream”, you complimented, finishing half of your soup.

“Do you have one?”, he questioned

“Hmm..”, you knew what it was but it was sort of unrealistic because it wasn’t a common thing, “I did like drawing growing up but my passion has always been singing. I always wanted to be a singer but it’s not common amongst hybrids”.

“Why not still do it anyways? You can sing at open mics or karaoke or write your own music. I have a friend who is a singing teacher, he can help you with anything you need”.

“Do you have friends in every job field?”, you chuckled.

“No but it sure does feel like it sometimes”, Yunho rubbed the back of his neck, “plus I don’t have that many friends, I would rather have a small group than a whole group of fake ones”. You respected that, finishing your soup. Yunho noticed the bowl was done, “would you like another bowl or are you good for tonight?”

“I’m good for tonight, if there’s more in the morning I’ll eat some then”, Yunho grabbed the bowl and put it in the sink, washing out every residue before placing it in the dishwasher. Making his way back to you, he lifted you bridal style and led you upstairs to the guest bedroom.

Inside the room was a queen-sized bed with blue sheets, a blanket and pillow set, two nightstands with a lamp on either side, a dresser, a closet, and a push-out window. “This will be your new room. We’ll get to decorate it how you want it soon but please, get as comfortable as you like”. Yunho placed you on the soft bed, slightly sinking into the plush mattress. It's been a while since you’ve laid on a bed, in a nice room and its warmth. It was hard to take in that you’ll no longer be on the streets. “If you need me, my room is two doors down, right next to the bathroom. Please do not hesitate to call me, shout even. I will be there”. Yunho had a serious look on his face, he’d risk not only his health but sleep for you if he had to. “Do you need anything before I leave?”.

You shook your head, feeling the effects of the shot wearing off. “No, please get some rest, Yunho. You've done more than enough for me”, you said honestly. Yunho gave it a second thought but he pet the top of your head anyways, “Goodnight y/n”. He turned around to walk out the door to save himself from potential embarrassment.

Before he walked out of the room, you called his name. Yunho turned his head to face you, “Goodnight”. He placed his hand over his heart and bowed before leaving the room.

Ultimately, you were left by yourself in a foreign room that was now considered yours. Did you imagine this is a million years? No, not for a million more at least. But you’re more than grateful to have been brought in. You hadn’t called Yunho before he left to tell him goodnight, but because you wanted to sleep in his bed with him for comfort. You just couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Although you’ve been reassured many times that you weren’t invading, bothering, or being a burden to anyone, you always felt like that inside. So you planned on handling yourself independently before asking him for comfort, he’s been nothing but sweet anyway. Instead, you’re looking forward to what the next few days, months, and hopefully years will bring for you. You can’t wait to officially meet Mingi and San properly and their other two hybrid friends. You haven’t had this many hybrid friends since….

Well… that’s enough for right now. You decided to try and sleep, it's been days since you slept properly. Placing the blanket over your shoulders with your head hitting the soft pillows, you attempted to fall asleep. You’d soon realize that tonight’s sleep would shortly be another unsuccessful one.

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bunnliix · 6 months ago

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When Eight Becomes Nine - Chapter Thirteen

Okie so I know I said this chapter was fluffy, I lied. It took a turn and I'm sorry but not sorry?

Pairing: Ateez x 9th member!reader Summary: Part one of Ateez taking y/n out for a fun day in Seoul! wc: 2.8k AU: a/b/o Genre: Fluff/Angst warnings: anxiety, fear of heights, panic attacks/almost panic attacks, sexist and misogynistic thoughts (Women/omegas belong in the kitchen, etc.), alphas being assholes, mentions of fighting, violence, insults masterlist

Wooyoung had decided the one place she had to visit was Lotte World Tower, because of course they have to start out at the tallest place imaginable. It didn’t take them long to arrive at the tower, and as y/n looked upwards, she felt herself get a little woozy. Yunho, who had been keeping an eye on her the entire ride, stepped up behind her, his hands coming to land on her shoulders as he leaned down close to her.

“Are you sure you’re okay to do this? You can back out and none of us will be mad. I think you know this, but Seonghwa is afraid of heights too, so he and Mingi will be going somewhere else in the area while we spend time up at the top of the tower.” Yunho informed her, keeping his voice at a whisper while the others were occupied talking to each other.

“I’m okay. But if it’s too much, can I leave and come back down to the ground floor?” She asked the alpha behind her.

“Of course. If it gets to be too much for you, come to me and tap me twice and I’ll take you down right away, no questions asked.” He told her, squeezing her shoulders before pulling back and letting go of the smaller omega.

This was when the others, minus the duo that Yunho had mentioned, came back over to the two, asking if they were ready to head in. After quickly nodding, Hongjoong guided the seven inside, bypassing the line and heading straight for the elevator to the observation deck. Wooyoung immediately took his place beside her once they were all situated in the elevator, reaching out to grab her hand as the ride up to the top quickly went by. She was dragged out of the elevator right to the windows to look over the city, holding her breath for a moment as she looked out at Seoul, amazed at how far the city sprawled outwards.

“Why are you gripping my hand so hard?” Wooyoung asked, whining towards the end.

“I’m sorry, just a bit uncomfortable with so many people here, it’s a lot for me.” She told the older man, not fully lying, but not telling him the actual reason.

“Oh, baby omega,” Wooyoung cooed, pulling her in for a hug, “It’s okay. We’re here, you’ll be okay.” He comforted her, which helped slightly, but until she was back on the ground, she wouldn’t be back to being fully okay.

San wandered over to the two, smiling at seeing the two omegas hugging. The beta wrapped his arms around them, rocking them back and forth, which made y/n’s nerves become even further on edge. She could see in the corner of her eye that Yeosang and Hongjoong were all milling around one of the windows, seeming to be discussing something with serious faces. Yunho and Jongho were nowhere to be seen, at least not within her eyesight. Before she realized it, Wooyoung and San were pulling her over to the part of the deck that had the glass flooring. She tried to calm her breathing, though it wasn’t working as well as she would have hoped. The beta/omega duo were insistent on taking her over to stand on it so they could take pictures of her, and so she could take the “cool looking down at the ground” photos, or at least that’s what her brain supplied to her as what they said. Her head was elsewhere, trying to figure out what to do, and what would cause the least amount of a scene.

They stopped pulling her, and she looked down to see that she was on top of the glass flooring, and her instinct was to jump away, but Wooyoung held onto her arm which stopped her.

“We’re gonna take photos, stop being so impatient to go and see the rest of the building!” He said to her, a smile on his face.

“I’m good, I don’t need photos, Wooyoung.” She told the other omega, trying to get her arm free from his grip.

“Of course you need photos! It’s your first time here!” He told her.

She saw Yunho pop up from the corner of her eye, and start heading towards the trio. She knew she had to stand up for herself, and make her fears known, but she hadn’t wanted to disappoint Wooyoung as he was so excited to take her here. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage to tell Wooyoung.

“Wooyoung, I’m afraid of heights and the longer you keep me here on the glass, the more likely I am to have a panic attack or get sick or pass out, or all three. Please let me go.” She told her fellow omega, closing her eyes to avoid looking down as she normally would in this type of situation.

The result was immediate, Wooyoung’s arm dropping away from her own, and a set of arms pulling her from where she stood. She opened her eyes to see Jongho was the one who had pulled her away, before Yunho could get close.

“Are you okay?” The alpha asked her.

“I’m doing better now. I won’t be okay until I’m down on the ground again. Heights are not my thing, and glass flooring is definitely not my thing.” She told the alpha, taking a deep breath before stepping away to have some space, the youngest alpha allowing her that space, and San stopping Wooyoung from crowding her once again. The looks on their faces displaying how bad they felt for forcing her into a situation that she clearly feared, and that they were so hell-bent on making sure she experienced it, that they didn’t think to stop and ask if she wanted to do it at all.

“Why didn't you say that you didn’t like heights? I wouldn’t have brought you here, I would have taken you somewhere else? Did you not trust us enough? I’m sorry, y/n.” Wooyoung asked, apologizing in the end.

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice either, y/n. I never meant to cause you anxiety with my actions, and I’m sorry that I didn’t notice your anxiety and reluctance and instead was the cause of more anxiety for you.” San said, as he and Wooyoung bowed in apology to you.

“I didn’t want to ruin your good mood, Wooyoung. You looked so excited to take me here, and I figured I could deal with the anxiety until we were back down on ground level again. I’m not the biggest fan of heights, so these kinds of things are a bit scary to me, and glass floors cause me a lot of anxiety.” Y/n explained to the two.

Darling, you could have said something to us, we would have understood.” San said to her, his voice having just a hint of sadness in it at her words.

“Yeah! If you had said you couldn’t do this, I would have found somewhere else for us to visit, I would never want to force you to do something you’re not comfortable with just because it was somewhere I wanted to take you. So please, tell us no when we suggest things you don’t like?” Wooyoung followed up San’s words with a pleading look in his eyes that also spoke to the regret he felt for suggesting they come here.

“I promise I will speak up next time, okay? Today was just such a great day after all of the fighting earlier, I didn’t want to bring the mood down again by shooting your suggestion down.” Y/n said.

“I told her that if she needed to get out of here, all she had to do was come and tap me twice and I’d take her back down. She had an out, Wooyoung, if she felt this was all too much.” Yunho spoke up, reminding them all that he was here.

Wooyoung nodded at Yunho, seemingly feeling a little bit better knowing that one of the others knew about this and had a way to help y/n out of this situation should she have needed it. Jongho only pulled the smallest omega closer to him, feeling touchy and protective in a way that normally he wouldn’t, as the others usually were the ones to feel this way. She looked up at him and giggled, only adjusting herself so that she was a bit more comfortable, letting the youngest alpha hold onto her for as long as he felt he needed to.

A couple minutes later, the remaining two wandered over to the five, wondering what was going on. “What’s going on here?” Yeosang asked, tilting his head in curiosity.

“Wooyoung and San dragged y/n over to the flooring here only to almost make her have a panic attack. Because she’s afraid of heights, which the glass floor would only make worse.” Jongho said bluntly, knowing it would only result in consequences for the duo.

“Oh,” Hongjoong stayed quiet for a moment, “You two, in my room once we’re back home, yes?” The smile on his face sent chills down everyone’s spines, as they knew that smile on the pack alpha’s face meant nothing good.

This marked the end of their trip, as Hongjoong quickly ushered everyone back to the elevator to go back down to ground level, not wanting to cause anymore anxiety to his newest member. Seonghwa and Mingi met them outside of the tower, both carrying more than a few bags between the two of them. Both of them noticed Jongho’s closeness to the sole female member of the group and Seonghwa noted it to ask about later.

“Are we ready to go to the next place?” Mingi asked, looking at them.

“We’re ready to go. Yunho, it’s your place next, right?” Yeosang answered, looking at his fellow member.

The golden retriever of a man nodded, confirming that his chosen place was next. “I promise it’s not another tower, and technically this is Mingi’s favorite place too, but he picked another one so we had a bit of variety.” He told the youngest omega.

The journey seemed to speed by, even with the traffic on the way to wherever Yunho had decided on taking her. It very quickly came clear once the car came closer to Han River, dropping them off where directed to by the tallest member. Once all nine were out of the car, Yunho took the lead, directing them to an area set out for them, as the security members that had been guarding it for them left at the man’s command.

“You set this up? How did you get this done so quickly?” y/n asked Yunho, surprised at what he had arranged so quickly.

“I had some help from our security crew plus some other friends of mine, who were nice to set this all up for us,” Yunho explained, “You should dig in, before it gets cold.”

He directed everyone, but especially y/n, as the platter laid out was a lot of Korean fast food that he thought she might want to try. Some of it she had tried before, while some of it was completely new to her, but she didn’t hesitate to try at least a bite of everything. The most foreign thing for her might have been the corn on pizza, as it seems like such an odd thing to have on pizza, but after having a bite, she could see where it fit in with the other ingredients.

She enjoyed the time with the eight men outside of the company and the group’s own dorm, the atmosphere was much more relaxed and casual, and she let herself relax and enjoy this down time. Y/n knew she wouldn’t get much more of it from tomorrow onwards.

“Are you excited to get to do all of the ‘idol things’ we do?” San asked y/n, a smile on his face as he laid down on the grass next to her, having moved over from the main group.

“Yes, but also no,” she answered, “I’m excited, but I’ve seen how busy life can get as an idol, so I’m going to miss all of my freetime.”

San nodded, the beta knowing that she wasn’t wrong, Ateez never really stopped working, not for long anyways. They did take breaks when the members’ heats and ruts occurred, but other than that rest was almost nonexistent.

“You’re not wrong, but I think you’ll find the work to be enjoyable. Plus you still have to get introduced to Atiny, which will be fun. Oh, and they’ve been working on other things too!” The beta enthused, rambling on excitedly about the plans he knew were happening in the near future, as well as where she’d fit in with everything.

At the sound of footsteps behind them, San looked up as y/n turned around, finding that Yunho was the source.

“Yunho-yah, what’s up?” San asked the dancer.

“I’m here to steal y/nnie away from you for a bit.” Yunho replied, making the beta pout.

“But I was just getting some time with her,” San whined, making y/n giggle.

“I’m sure Yunho won’t keep me for long,” she told the man, before getting up to stand next to the tall grey-haired man.

“Fine,” San said, “but come back soon.”

Yunho led y/n away, towards a quieter part of the area that also happened to be more secluded as well. It was a bit of a walk, so they filled the time talking about funny stories from their childhood.

“-and then the gym teacher picked him up and dropped him in the trash can. All because he joked about it and then didn’t pay attention when Mr. Mercer was talking.” Y/n told Yunho, causing the older man to laugh.

“I don’t think I have any stories like that from my school days, but I have many stories about Mingi-yah.” He told y/n, chuckling to himself as he’s reminded of more than a few things Mingi would be embarrassed about if y/n was told about them.

They were engrossed in their own little world, chatting and giggling until y/n ran into a wall, knocking her backwards.

“Ah yes, a stupid omega who can’t watch where she’s going.” The wall, which was actually an alpha, sneered.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” Y/n apologized to the rude alpha, disregarding the insult to not escalate the situation.

However, Yunho didn’t have the same thought. “You shouldn’t have been standing on the sidewalk, and she’s not stupid,” he said.

“I can stand wherever I want, and keep your fucking omega at home, where she belongs,” the alpha shot back at Yunho.

“Yunho, just let it go, it’s fine.” Y/n tried to convince the idol, not wanting to get him in trouble, or have the shithead alpha get any more violent.

“He’s insulting you, I won’t let that stand,” Yunho replied, before looking back up at the alpha in front of them.

A crowd had started to gather, making y/n feel unsettled, knowing that Yunho could get recognized soon if he hadn’t been already. And she didn’t yet have any of the other’s numbers, so she couldn’t reach out to them for help.

“...you really can’t control your omega well, huh? You really should just take her home and leave her in the kitchen. Or better yet, give her to me, and I can show you how a real alpha controls their omega. You obviously don’t like her that much, considering she has no mating bite on her neck.” The alpha continued, and the scent of burnt oranges coming from Yunho only grew stronger.

Y/n grabbed Yunho’s arm, trying to pull the alpha away from the confrontation. She didn’t want them to get into trouble, plus she wasn’t the person for confrontations with alphas like the one Yunho is about to fight. They never changed their minds, and fighting wouldn’t prove anything. She’s dealt with enough of them to know that they wanted to get a rise out of omegas and anyone they could, while truly believing that omegas were inferior to them.

Yunho tugged his arm out of her hold, moving in front of her and closer to the other alpha.

“Yu, please. It’s not worth it.” She pleaded with the man, who only shook his head.

“You should really listen to the dumb bunny, wouldn’t want to mess up your pretty face.”

That was the final straw for Yunho, and y/n could only watch in horror as the tall alpha practically launched himself at the other man, his arm pulled back ready to throw a punch.

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sxcret-garden · 2 years ago

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San ღ Drowsy [M]

ღ Ateez San x fem-bodied!reader ღ words: ~2.5k ღ genre: soft smut (switch!San, a bit of dry humping, unprotected sex, orgasm control) ღ warnings: (mentions of him running his fingers through reader's hair)

Desc.: Your boyfriend San is about to doze off next to you late at night, when you try to wake him up and gradually your sleepy cuddle session turns into something more than just that.

It’s the middle of the night. You stayed up late to get some more studying done, and because you just couldn’t wait another day to watch the new episode of the series you’re currently hooked on. Your boyfriend San isn’t much of a fan, though he occasionally joins you to watch an episode together, because that means a whole hour of being together with you peacefully among both of your busy schedules. Plus, he knows that as soon as he lies down on the bed next to you and he puts his head in your lap, your fingers will wander to his hair by themselves, brushing through it softly and playing with it absentmindedly. At some point you had joked that he trained you well, since it became such a natural habit for you to play with his hair after he had begged you a few times to do it, to which he had glanced up at you, smiling so his dimples showed, and answered, “Like a cat trains its owner?” You had laughed about it then, but the more you kept thinking about it, the more your boyfriend actually began to remind you of a cat. Starting with his facial features to the way he could sleep whole days away if anyone let him, you’ve been noticing these tiny details about him more than ever and making small connections in your head.

Today though, those thoughts are nowhere near the center of your attention - quite opposite to what’s happening on the laptop screen in front of you. As it illuminates the room with its artificial light, your eyes follow every scene with great interest, and your mind feels awake as you listen to the dialogue in detail. San however is about to doze off in your lap, lulled to sleep by the gentle touches of your fingertips against his scalp. Sometimes you dare to take your eyes off the screen for a second to spare him a look or two, and you see his eyelids drooping. He’s fighting to stay awake, probably for your sake, though you wouldn’t be mad at him if he just drifted off to sleep like this. A faint smile appears on your lips and you lean down to place a gentle kiss onto his temple, before continuing to massage his scalp. He too smiles, and you return to watching your series.

Eventually the episode ends, and you close the laptop and then carefully get up so as not to wake a now sleeping San, tiptoeing to the bathroom to get ready for bed. You return and find him curled up, his body lying on top of the blanket, with a pillow safely wrapped in his arms. You chuckle at the sight, and as you try to shake his shoulders slightly, the pout on his lips grows bigger.

“San, you shouldn’t sleep without a blanket. You’ll catch a cold…” you whisper, unsure if he can hear you. When he doesn’t react, you let out a sigh and then lie down next to him, facing him, and trying to free the pillow from his embrace. “San,” you call out to him once more, keeping your voice down. But this time he furrows his brows and brings his knees closer to his torso, as if to protest against you trying to wake him up again. As he’s in the process of burying his face in the pillow up to his cheekbones, you reach out and run your fingers through his hair, just like you had done before, however this time applying a bit more pressure so as to guide him into leaning his head back. The pillow not covering his face anymore now, you move closer and place a soft kiss on his pouty lips, feeling them relax under your feathery touch. Getting sleepy yourself, you let yourself get caught up in the kiss, not pulling back after a few seconds as you had planned, but letting your lips melt together, and eventually deepening the kiss. A small whine escapes him as you part eventually, and you let your gaze scan his face in the dark, trying to make out as many details as possible. You barely see the moles on his skin, but the bridge of his nose stands out to you, and you can see him opening his eyes ever so slightly.

“Want another kiss?” you ask, not missing the pleading expression written all over his face. He nods, wordlessly, and his grip on the pillow loosens, ready to give it up so he can enclose your body in his arms instead. “Then get under the blanket with me,” you say, trying to make a deal, but your words fall on deaf ears. He puts the pillow aside, throwing it over his shoulder in a sleepy motion, and then he extends his hand to place it on your cheek. You lean into his touch for a moment, before his fingertips begin to wander, trailing a path down the side of your neck, to your shoulder, and eventually down your side, until it comes to rest on your waist. He moves a little closer and you let him kiss you again. As with most of his kisses, it’s a soft but intense touch, never demanding too much, yet pouring a strong sense of longing and passion into his actions. You allow yourself to start feeling drunk on his kiss, knowing that if he was to go any further, he would probably make you lose your self-control rather quickly. When you part, you feel his hand shifting from your waist to your hip, and he pulls you towards him like that, until you feel his core against yours, and as you realize what made him so needy all of a sudden, you can also feel his own body heat going over to you, as if you suddenly shared the same blood flow, rushing through your limbs and letting you both feel the electric sparks forming in the air around you. You grin at him and then slightly roll your hips against the bulge in his boxer shorts, the whine he lets out upon feeling the friction sounding like music to your ears.

“Falling asleep on me and then having some very nice dreams, I see…” you tease him, and then you put your leg over his, rolling over so he ends up on his back underneath you, with you sitting on top of him. You reach over to the bedside table to turn on a light, and you don’t fail to catch the way he flinches from the sudden brightness. A blush from being teased is still present on his cheeks, and you can’t help but coo over how cute he looks like this. Watching his reactions with great interest, you sneak a hand under the shirt he usually sleeps in, and when your cold fingertips come in contact with the skin covering his toned abs, he sucks in a breath. You let your palm wander up his warm torso, pulling the shirt up along with it to expose his stomach and chest. In contrast to your fairly cold hands, you lower yourself and let your warm tongue come in contact with his skin. Starting from about halfway up his abs, you lick a stripe up to his breastbone, and when you’re about to straighten your back again, you feel one of his hands at the back of your head, fingers digging into your hair. You place a kiss right there, on his hot skin, and you feel him shiver as you breathe out, blowing some cool air onto his chest in the process. You tug at his shirt to signal that it’s in the way, and in order to slip it off him, he lets you sit up for a moment. He too starts roaming your torso from your shoulders down to your stomach restlessly, and you take off your shirt as well, both now being left merely with your underpants on. His palms immediately find your breasts, and you enjoy the way his touch builds up warmth in your core for just a few seconds. Then you take his hands in yours and as you lean in to connect your lips to his, you wrap your fingers around his wrists and place them above his head. You know he’d usually be strong enough to escape your hold if he wanted to, but throughout the time you’d been dating San you have learned that in certain situations he isn’t one to fight back much, unless you push him to his limits. You enjoy the unconditional power you have over him in moments like these, but what you love even more is pushing all the right buttons to feel him gradually melt underneath you, until eventually you’re left with but a whining mess of a boy. And even though, seeing how late at night it already is, pushing him to that state wasn’t the plan today, with how sensitive your boyfriend reacts to all your touches at the moment you feel like you might get there anyway.

You kiss your way from the corner of his mouth to his neck, licking and biting just beneath his ear, as he looks the other way to expose the freckled skin fully. Your face buried in his neck and one hand tangled in his hair as much as his position allows it, you grind your core against his boxers again, and this time as well you receive a whine of pleasure. San throws his arms around you suddenly, and you can feel his nails digging into the bare skin on your back. You grin triumphantly from making him react like this, and you grant him another roll of your hips, to which he too tries to push his core closer to yours.

“Greedy, aren’t we today…?” you comment, whispering right into his ear, before you bite his earlobe and repeat the motion of your hips, falling into a slow but steady rhythm. His hands start becoming restless again, one of them finding its way up into your hair, while the other finds your ass, squeezing it in an attempt to pull you closer. It catches you by surprise and you yelp, before he turns his head to face you. Without hesitation you connect your lips with his, and you share a deep kiss, burning up a fire from inside, and you feel it spreading through your entire being.

“San,” you call out to him, as you feel yourself breathless from the kiss. His eyes follow you closely while you sit up on top of him, and you make space to be able to pull down his pants just far enough. You quickly wriggle out of yours as well, probably not very elegantly, but at this point you don’t care. Something about the way he kissed you lit up a desire deep in your chest, and now you can’t fight the need to feel him inside you anymore. You weren’t going to give in this fast, yet here you are, lowering yourself onto his cock, while he holds your hips to support you, and probably because he’s yearning for some control. You feel him stretching you out, but the feeling isn’t uncomfortable, so once you’ve settled on top of his hips you immediately go over to riding him. You try to keep your pace slow, but the way he moans and makes you moan with him causes you to want to hear more, and so you fasten your pace rather quickly. You lean in to give him another open mouthed kiss, but focusing on kissing each other becomes difficult as you’re both rushing towards your highs. One after the other, you remove his hands from your hips, pinning him against the bed instead, and his name falls from your lips, once, then a second time. He too calls out for you, and from the way he’s clenching his teeth and squeezing his eyes shut you can see he’s about to cum.

“Not yet, San,” you say and stop all motions at once. You’re not sure where the sudden return of your control came from, but it’s not like you have the time or will to ponder on that right now either. You see him throwing his head back into the pillow, frustration engraved in his features, and he lets out a pained whine. As if to comfort him you lean in and place a soft kiss to his temple, then to the tip of his nose. “Don’t cum before me, baby,” you whisper, and you kiss him, this time properly. He nods, the frustration still present on his face, though when you pull back to take a good look at him, you find obedience deep in his eyes. For some reason you feel like there is also an apologetic expression hidden in them, and when you feel him tense his muscles underneath you, you begin to understand why.

“I won’t cum before you… I promise.” You hear him mumble those words, before he flips you over easily, like a piece of paper. After all, you don’t stand a chance against him when he uses his strength. Pinning you to the bed for just a second, you share one brief look, before he lets go of your hands and wraps his arms around your upper body instead, holding onto your shoulders while you throw your legs around his waist. He rolls his hips against yours, making you moan from the friction and the way every single one of his thrusts seems to send an electric wave throughout your whole body. He buries his face in your neck, and you can hear him grunt through gritted teeth in between moans of your name. Feeling your high building up in your core, you too hold onto his broad shoulders with all your might. Along with how he picks up his pace, you roll your hips, hoping to feel just a little bit more of him inside you. And then eventually, your moans turn into a string of curses as you feel your orgasm approach, and you clench hard around him when it hits you. Merely the blink of an eye later, he too lets out a desperate whine, and you can feel him filling you up inside.

Both panting, San collapses on top of you. That blissful sensation still fresh in your mind, you turn your head so the tips of your noses touch, and you brush your fingertips through his hair, feeling him lean into your touch. His eyes are closed as you watch him, still in the process of catching his breath.

“San, let’s get under the blanket now,” you propose. For a second he hesitates, but then reason seems to take the better of him and he nods. He switches off the lights for you, and as soon as you are both lying under the warm and fluffy blanket, his arms are wrapped tightly around your body and he’s back to burying his face in your neck. “Sweet dreams,” you whisper, and you place a kiss on his forehead. You feel him return the peck in your neck before he answers, voice drowsy,

“Sleep well, baby.”

#ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez drabbles #san x reader #san smut #san drabbles #smut #kpop smut

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senawashere · 10 months ago

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We're on this together...(Chapter IV)

Bradley Bradshaw x Fem!Wife!Reader

Summary: Is it over now? Or is it starting now?

A/n: A MAJOR change is on the way!!

Warnings: Infertility,mentions of miscarrige,mentions of hospital,mentions of getting pregnant,mentiones of ivf.Use of alcohol,arguing,use of bad languange. Mostly angst.

20 APRIL 2022.

You nodded.

That's why you're currently in one of the most well known clinics in San Diego because Bradley didn't want to "risk it" and your leg shakes with anger at the thought, causing Bradley to rest his hand on your knee.

Car ride was complately silence. And after around one and half an hour you both finally parked your car to the parking lot and walked into the big hospital.

The sterile smell of the hospital immediately caught your nose. This scent wasn't helping you feel more stressed than you already were. But Bradley's tight grip on your hand seemed to comfort you at least a little.

He's nervous too, damn, he feels like he's going to throw up, but he has to stay strong for you and he relaxes a little when his lover rests her head on his shoulder and kisses her temple, which works because he's a little less nervous now.

"It'll be alright." You whisper and your husband smiles to hear you thinking positively.

"Exactly." He answers, his heart pounding with pride when he hears you optimistic for the first time in a long time.

You both are distracted by looking at socials on his phone for a few more minutes until a woman in white emerges from the office and looks up, reading a spreadsheet to say. "Bradshaw?"

You both stand up, You instantly reach out for Bradley to hold your hand tightly, and after greeting the woman, you both enter where the doctor is waiting for you behind her desk.

“Bradley, Y/N, this is a pleasure.” She shakes both of your hands.

"Thank you. Pleasure is ours." Bradley responds with the hand now holding on your lower back and gently pulling the chair forward for you to sit down on.

"Okay, I understand you're here because you're having trouble getting pregnant, right?" The old woman asks, looking under her round glasses.

"Yes." You hum, swallowing dryly.

Bradley takes your hand but continues to stare at the doctor, knowing his wife hates public attention, something he's learned the hard way over the last dozen years.

"We'll be running some tests on you both next week, don't worry, just to make sure everything is as it should be."

You both nodded, and both felt small in the hospital chairs, holding hands, afraid, feeling that time had not passed, and feeling that you were still sixteen years olds and had no idea what life was really like.

Talking about a future that would never come, wishing they could be like them again forever, they gathered in the treehouse as You stroked Bradley's uncontrollable hair, as he clumsily talked about his dreams, thinking that maybe one day he would love to be become a fighter pilot. Like his dad.

They both are individually subjected to multiple tests and studies, and after about three hours both of your works finish, returning home exhausted and not even eating dinner, you both quickly crawl under the covers and seek each other's warmth.

While Bradley plays with the ring on his ring finger, his head lies on his lover's chest. "Are you scared?" he asks and your hands stop in his hair.

"Maybe a baby isn't for us."

You look up and look at him in shock, feeling your throat close at the raw and harsh words and you heart starts pounding when you see his face.

"Darling, don't say that."

You look away, staring at the ceiling, feeling the tears gathering in your eyes until they fall down the sides onto your pillow.

You are not even sobbing, not screaming, nothing, just...crying. Silently.

"Oh, my love.” He grabs your arms to pull you closer, switching positions so you are on top of him, dipping his bare chest in the salty drops.

"We're going to have them, fuck, we're going to have the baby or maybe babies. We just have to wait for the results. I know we are going to."

He wants to cry too, but he can't cry in front of you when you need him more than ever. He will find a moment of solitude where he can lighten his own burden, but not now.

"I just want to make you happy." You cry and he frowns.

"You think I need a baby to be happy?"

Bradley questions, holding your waist and carresing with his thumb.

"Darling, as long as you're with me, anything can go to hell, I'll be the happiest man on earth. I don't need a baby, I don't need anything but you, my soul."

You hug him tighter, digging your nails into his shoulders and closing your eyes, breathing in the scent of home your husband gives off. Now you understand and blindly believe in it.

As long as they are together, they don't need anything else.

I know this is sad but it might be the last sad chapter hehehe!!!

I'm tagging people who might be interested:@ohtobeleah @sebsxphia @callsign-fox @greenorangevioletgrass @teacupsandtopgun @roosterforme @floydsglasses @lyn-js @its-dee-lovely @its-the-pilot @friedchips94 @hardballoonlove @topguncortez @bradshawsbaddie @shanimallina87 @djs8891 @themusingofagothicsoul @promisingyounglady @the-romanian-is-bae @mamachasesmayhem @jessicab1991 @iefitzgerald-blog @charcole-grey @waterriseslew @desert-fern @eternalsams @callsigns-haze @promisingyounglady @els-marvelvsp @cevansbaby-dove you are not comfortable please tell me!!

#sena writes #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfic #bradley bradshaw x fem!reader #bradley bradshaw #rooster imagine #rooster fanfiction #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #rooster x wife!reader #top gun rooster #topgun maverick #top gun fan fiction #top gun au #we're on this together

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scarlethero · 8 months ago

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So like, hear me out. 👏🏼🤔

Armand & DM Theory

Paris:

Armond orchestrates *the play* and brings Lestat into it in Paris because he has convinced himself (through his perspective of Louis and their relationship) that Louis will never pick *him* over Claudia. Over Lestat.

So he gets pissed that Lestat (essentially, in his perspective) got one over on him *again* and decides fuck it- I’ll kill them all and finally Lestat will be as miserable and alone as me (also if he comes crawling to me for companionship in the future.. we could talk about it then).

So that’s why it seems there was no planned way to get Louis out of the death sentence. Perhaps Louis really was supposed to die with Claudia.

So then Lestat saves Louis and *just in his luck* Louis thinks Armand did it. And I mean, Armand is king of lies and deception so it’s easy enough to go along with it. *On top of that* he gets to be apart of Louis’ plan for revenge against Lestat. Armand is quite *literally* getting all of his dreams fulfilled.

San Francisco:

Only for the steam that was moving the spite train along (aka Loumand’s relationship) to slowly fizzle out and grow stagnant. Only for both Armand and Louis to be in a state a free fall. Louis turns to those boys he’d take back to his apartments and Armand, well, he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He got what he wanted, right? So what did he do now that it turned to ash in his mouth?

Enter Daniel and his cute-little, drugged-out face. Fascinating. Daniel’s reaction to Louis’ story causes the whole mess in San Francisco and he’s sent packing with altered memories.

Devils Minion:

But Armand doesn’t forget. And he kind of starts obsessing over it. Over Daniel. Louis’ words ringing in his ears. Words that Louis himself no longer remembers and therefore reverts back to how he was just before the interview. A pale shadow of his former self with no passion for Armand whatsoever.

So Armand starts tracking down Daniel. Just to get a glimpse of who he is and what’s so great about him. But it turns into full-on obsession and we get a version of the Devils Minion. They have a long, sordid and dark romance throughout the 70s *and* 80s. The details of the mind wipes can be any of the available options.

There’s some sort of breaking point and eventually Armand feels he has to erase all of Daniel’s memories of him and their relationship. Whether it’s to protect himself because he doesn’t fully trust Daniel yet, he thinks he might cave and make him a vampire, or he simply wants to stop being selfish in his love and wants Daniel to live a full, human life without his influence. Whichever reason he has for it- Daniel forgets it all.

Dubai:

Then *years later*, Louis eventually finds himself back at that threshold he was at in San Francisco and is itching to tell his story again. No matter Louis’ reasons for it, Armand sees it as a second suicide letter… but also sees it as the opportunity it affords *him*… To at least see Daniel again.

So they summon Daniel and Armand convinces Louis to go along with his Rashid disguise, saying it’s because of San Francisco when it’s really so he doesn’t trigger any DM memories in Daniel *and* to make sure Louis doesn’t hurt Daniel this time.

If all goes well after the interview, Louis and Daniel would get what they wanted out of it and Armand can see Daniel again without triggering his memories/ruining his human life and keep Daniel safe from Louis.

However, Louis fucks that up and Armand has to unmask.

From there on out, he knows Daniel is a ticking time bomb of memories and emotions and complications. And yet he involves himself in the interview, even when he doesn’t even want it to be happening in the first place. Because he knows how much it means to both Louis *and* Daniel. He tries to hide parts of himself, out of regret of what he did in Paris (cause he really does regret it knowing he misread his relationship with Louis) and so that the details of his life and of his true self don’t pop up and trigger anything in Daniel’s mind.

But then he realizes the Talamasca has gotten involved, being able to read at least Daniel’s mind if not Rashid’s. He knows his time with Louis is slowly drawing to a close, but he also feels like there’s nothing he can do to stop it. Not *really*.

So Daniel spills the beans about Paris. Lestat was the one to save Louis and wasn’t apart of the orchestration of Claudia’s death. And all the spite that fueled their union crumbles, and Armand is staring down the barrel of an eternity alone.

He’s not mad at Daniel, not really. It’s actually quite impressive that he got it all figured out and had proof.

But since Armand doesnt want to ruin Daniel’s human life- and he doesn’t want to be alone- he chases Louis.

Then as Louis is telling him not to touch Daniel- the reality of his life hits him. Armand has lived his life worshiping. Gods. Devils. Vampires. Lovers. That’s how he thought love worked.

And he knows full well that his relationship with Louis has never been about him. It’s been about Lestat. Of course he knows that. But the loneliness of that statement hits him square in the chest, looking up under his eyelashes at the vampire who has shackled them to each other and the boy who has always allowed him to be free. To be himself. To be fucked up and okay with it. The boy who he never worshiped in his love, for it was probably the purest of love he’s ever experienced.

Of course he’d never hurt Daniel. Not in the implied malicious ways that Louis means. But Louis wouldn’t know that. Neither would Daniel.

The Future:

So Louis leaves. Maybe it’s in Dubai or it’s sometime later in another place but Armand finds Daniel and tells him he knows what his doctors have been saying. Daniel’s dying. He doesn’t have much time left.

Something said in this conversation triggers another memory for Daniel. And he asks about it, and maybe a few others he got flashes of while in Dubai but didn’t tell Louis about. And Armand makes a decision. Daniel is dying, Louis is gone, and he will forever be alone.

So he gets selfish and emotional and full of love and gives Daniel all of his memories back. They spend time delving through all of it and Daniel asks him to stay with him, until the end. He family, his ex wives, his kids no where to be seen. He’s ruined the biggest gift he ever got from Armand- his human life. And now as he’s dying, he just wants Armand to stay. To finally say yes and stop running away.

And he does. Until the day finally comes- it’s a small shift but Armand knows what a body *sounds* like when it’s giving out. Dying out. He tells Daniel and tries to hold himself back from asking to turn him. And when the hour grows ever nearer… Daniel asks in a whisper, in a delusion, in a prayer.

And Armand falls to his knees, turning him before either one of them can think on it more.

After it’s done and Daniel has taken to vampirism like a champ… Armand realizes he can no longer hear Daniel’s thoughts. He knew it would come, as it always does, but the lack of insight (lack of control) hits him like a tidal wave.

And Daniel realizes some of his memories were not restored before, just by mistake, and feels relief at having all of his mortal memories back and all of the emotions related to it. But before he can talk to Armand, ask for guidance in this chapter in his un-life and delve further into their past, Armand leaves. Skips out.

And Daniel does the only thing he knows how to do. The only thing he’s ever been good at: His job.

Cut to that scene in 2x08.

*fin*

#interview with the vampire #devils minion #iwtv #the vampire lestat #amc iwtv #the vampire chronicles #armand

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maxverstappensflatbrim · 1 year ago

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Show Me Yours | Matty Healy [44]

chapter forty-four, act five: the ballad of me and my brain

masterlist

-this is the final chapter of this part, I'm slolwy writing the next part but I am alos doing my midterms right now so there may be a wait until it's out.

December 25th 2017

It’s Tommie’s first Christmas alone in five years.

She doesn’t really know what to do with herself, she’s currently sitting on the floor of her kitchen, staring at the TV that’s playing some shitty hallmark film in her living room.

She’s waiting for her pizza to finish cooking, she doesn’t want to eat a cooked dinner alone.

Adam invited her to go along to Christmas with him, but he’s going with Carly’s family, who she doesn’t know that well. So she lied and said she’s going back to LA to spend it with Phoebe in the studio.

She’s not entirely alone, she has Allen who is currently curled up beside her on the floor, and Button who she’s been tossing a ball for every now and then the last few minutes.

There’s a letter in her hands.

Printed on the front is that familiar messy writing with her address spelled wrong and scribbled out.

Ross dropped it off three weeks ago now, she still hasn’t opened it.

Allen nudges the letter closer to her with his nose, as if he can smell the scent of his owner on it.

She sighs and nods, patting his head gently, “I know, Als.” Allen looks up, “I miss him too.”

Then despite her better judgement she finds herself tearing into the envelope.

Dear Baby,

I don’t know how to start. I’ve written fourteen letters to you and every single one has ended up being crumpled up at the bottom of my bin. I know the reason that I can’t write is because deep down I don’t deserve for you to hear me out. I fucked up. I fucked up way too many times. And he was right. About you giving me too many chances, letting me walk all over you because that’s what I did, what I do. I took advantage because I knew you’d always be there. I knew I could fall back on you and you’d pick me up because that’s what you do. You’re so good. I don’t deserve that.

One of the therapists I’ve been working with here told me to write letters to the people most important to me. To the ones who I feel that I’ve wronged with my addiction. Apparently it’s a part of my healing journey. I think it’s just to make me feel like a dickhead. I wrote to my mother first, for falling down the hole she worked so hard to steer me away from, the hole she herself fell down. Then to Louis for being a shit older brother. To the guys for what happened in San Jose. And now to you. For everything I’ve ever done to you.

I’m not going to list all my mistakes. I’m sure you already have your own list highlighted and neatly stashed away somewhere. I’ve had a lot of time to think while being here (And I already know what you’re thinking, ‘wow, didn’ know you could do that’). I’ve had to think about what to do when I get out of here. I’m not sure if you’ll want to see me. But in my head the first thing I’ll do is come and see you. I’ll get on my knees before you, lit up by those fairy lights we spent three hours trying to hang on your front porch. You’ll open the door and you’ll probably be wearing that old AM concert shirt and your stupid rugby zip-up I keep telling you to replace but you won’t because you’re too sentimental (it’s one of the things I love the most about you). I’ll beg you to just say that you forgive me. Even if you don’t really mean it. And I know you will. I know you would forgive me in an instant because I know you. Then we’ll have everything we’ve wanted, our own studio, we’ll be back on the road, never having to settle, just us the guys and the open road up ahead of us. Endless music, endless time, whatever we want. But I’m going to stay away. Or at least I’m going to try to. I want you to move on and have a better life without me. You’ll do great things. And I can’t be a part of them as much as I want to be. It’ll be hard, for both of us, but in the end you’ll come out on top. You’re the smarter one, with the talents, you have the voice, the skills, the lyrics, the heart. I just have the confidence. I’m nothing without you. Matty Healy is simply nothing without Tommie McDuff, it’s always been that way. But Tommie McDuff is everything. You are everything. I’ll watch from afar as you keep doing amazing things, with Phoebe, alone, whatever it is you’re doing. I’ll be your biggest supporter, I want you to know that. But I’ll do it from afar. I’ll try to do it from afar. I say try because you’re my strongest addiction. It’ll take everything in me to stay away. I’ve always been addicted to you. More than any drugs I’ve ever taken. I’m addicted to the way you touch me, a hand on my arm as you laugh, the way you smile at me, those little sarcastic ones you do when I annoy you are my favourite because I know you’re trying your hardest not to break into the biggest grin. I’m addicted to the sound of your voice. And the way your mind works, from your lyrics to your solos, I want to see inside your mind. To study you like an old Victorian sculpture. I’m addicted to your laugh, even when it’s directed at me. To the way you love and the feel of your lips. Ever since your lips first touched mine I’ve searched for others who may make me feel some sliver of the way you did. None have ever compared. Not one. They’re not soft enough, not gentle enough, not exciting enough, they’re not you. They’re never you. I hate myself for doing that to them, to myself, to you. Most of all to you. I hate myself more and more everyday as I sober up, because as each day goes by I’m forced to sit with the knowledge of how I treated you for longer.

One of the questions I’ve been told to answer is what would I do if I saw you again? What would I do for you? I’m not sure if you’ll want to see me again. But if you did, if you gave me that gift of blessing my eyes with you one last time, I’d hold you. For as long as you let me, hours, days, weeks, months, years, until we both grew old and grey. I’d love you until the moment I died, and even longer if you let me. I’d wait as long as you wanted me to, until the earth ends or just the first sign of spring. I’d collect the stars and bottle them up because I know how much you love them. I’d create a whole new religion just to worship you. I’ve realised now that I’ve rambled. (I’ve run out of paper and only have three lines left) But I have so much more to say. I’ll sum it up in a few words for you. ‘I would give you the moon.’

Yours, Matt.

She puts the letter down.

One tear escapes her eyes.

There’s a knock on the door.

taglist

@thereisaplaceintheheart, @indierockgirrl, @sofaritsalrightt, @julezs-bl0g, @eaglestar31, @sophinthealpss, @noacfemcel, @if-my-heart-bleeds, @befrwime, @fallingforel, @sexorchocolateorpillowsorclouds, @3terna15unshin3, @1975sophie1975, @thesocraticjunkiewannabe, @littlesoldierelleora, @procrastinatinglikeapro, @beatr2x, @byyourside28

-let me know if you want to be added :)

#show me yours matty healy #matty healy x oc #matty healy x reader #matty healy imagine #the 1975 x oc

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codename-adler · 9 months ago

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[Haikyū!!] DIY Ask Game

doing this myself bc i'm anxious and making lists makes me feel safe. also bc sometimes you want to answer ask games so bad but nobody sends them...... eh.

First character you liked: Tanaka, my funny bald hype man. He still manages to have soft spot in my heart, to this day, and always. Truly underrated, imo.

Love @ first sight: Kenma (˃ᆺ˂) & Kuroo

First character you strongly disliked: ...Tsukishima

Hate @ first sight: ...Tsukishima

First favorite character: Kenmaaa 🫶

Favorite character now: still Kenma & Kuroo ofc 😭, but also Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Tendou, Kiyoomi, Atsumu (derogatory), Noya and Yaku my libero boyos

Character you strongly dislike now: Tsukki you are never escaping my hater ass i respects u fr fr bruh

Character you did not expect to like as much as you do now: Tendou!!! i was fr scared of him at first, and now he is baby

Character you did not expect to dislike as much as you do now: no one tbh, my hating game's been pretty consistent (lies. i could never hate any of them. none!), tho i have to say that i also don't really enjoy Yamaguchi's character come to think of it... got mads respect for Gucci

First pairing you shipped: Kuroken <3

Favorite ship now: Sakuatsu, Iwaoi, and Kuroken still (+ Brokuroo them morons are life)

Other ship(s) you read fics about / like: Ushiten, Semiten, Kurodai, Bokuosa, Kagehina

Pairing(s) you strongly dislike: well anything Tsukki really... but especially, especially Kurotsuki (Tsukiyama's fine tho) oh and Ushihina & Sakuwaka & Atsuhina.

Crackship you like: Matsuhana let's gooo! also Aone x Asahi is cute

Rarepair/Crackship you like but are lowkey very serious about: Osamu x Meian, Bokuatsu

Favorite m/f pairing: there's only really Kiyotana, but damn do they deliver

Character you think you are most like: this has been a plague on my mind ever since my first watch. nowadays i think i would say Asahi? or Fukunaga. subject to change. hold on—I might be Makki actually o_o

Favorite female character: not a lot there to begin with, but i do appreciate Saeko and Natsu

Sexiest character: IWA-CHAN, Kiyoomi, Kuroo, Atsumu (derogatory), Oikawa (derogatory), Suna

Favorite uniform/outfit: Karasuno boys for the school uniform - Aoba Johsai in close second and for the girls too - MSBY for volleyball as well as Nekoma 😍 and Seijoh || fav outfit that got me down bad is, like all of us mere mortals, Iwa in his hoodie & jean jacket casual combo

Favorite position 😏: Libero!! Yaku and Noya take my breath away every time, but it’s also the role i’d want to play if i were part of a volley team! i think i’d do ok (lmao)

Favorite character name: Iwaizumi Hajime

Favorite motto: 飛べ Fly (Karasuno)

Favorite quote(s): "Don't you ever forget my worthless pride." - Oikawa Tooru to Ushijima *CHILLS*

Favorite scene/episode: Uhhhh too many why did i put myself inthis position. Training Camp obviously!!! but also the Shiratorizawa match arc, for the Tendou content 🔥 and i can't not mention the Seijoh matches for the Iwaoi content and the Matsuhana crumbs.

Unpopular opinion: *sigh* this will get me killed–i do not care for Akaashi. i wish i understood him more, got to see more of what’s underneath. i love Bokuto, and i'm sorry babe, but his character and physique are really just average to me. and i've already got the Tsukki kinners and lovers on my case, so yeah, i'll be dead by sundown. while i’m at it, same goes for Kita-san. i’m sorry!! always mad respect tho 👍

Favorite fic(s): Stick with You (Sakuatsu) by lettersinpetals without a fuckin' doubt. Also i'll mention the latest 2 fics i read, Lockdown and The Loyalty of a Traitor (both Iwaoi) by DeathBelle because they are a pillar of the HQ fics community and their shit hits every goddamn time and it hurts so gooddddd 🤌

Favorite art: @amezure @fullwarmth @iinoruu @amalasdraws @viria @dictearchive @mookie000art @cranbearly (soodyo) and so many more that i can't remember off the top of my head but i thank you all for your dedicated work and creativity to the fandom 🫡😩🧡 oh and special love to @gayaest for their paravolley AU art <3

Character(s) you like to write/draw the most: have done neither officially yet, but i do have a Sakuatsu x Grey's Anatomy WIP, so i guess them?

Pairing(s) you like to write/draw the most: ^^

Favorite AU(s): Post-Time Skip, College AU, Mafia/Yakuza/Detective/FBI/Police AU (ik, ew & ACAB, but somehow for hq this one hits)

Guilty pleasure?: BokuAkaKuroKen - TikTok skits & memes & dance animations - my Sakuatsu MCD wip ^^

Favorite Opening: oh god... there's only 1 i don't like (u know the one)... i HAVE to say before i answer, this anime's intros are hits after hits after hits, and they hold such a precious and nostalgic feeling in my heart 😭 ok i'm allowing myself two: Imagination (S1PT1, SPY AIR) & FLY HIGH!! (S2PT2, BURNOUT SYNDROMES). honorable mention to the few first seconds of Hikariare 🫶

Favorite Ending: Tenshi Gaechi (S1PT1, NICO Touches the Walls)

Favorite team: Canonically, Nekoma and MSBY. Fanonically, Seijoh, MSBY still, and Shiratorizawa. (obv my heart always soars when Karasuno wins bc that's the way the story is supposed to make you feel! but i love them dearly so.)

Team you dislike the most: none? i'm not fond of Date Tech, but i appreciate Aone, and none of the teams are villains, just antagonists from the Karasuno pov.

And for the finale, Favorite meme(s): god so many this fandom has the best

obviously there are many more questions i wanted to fill in but this was getting too long and it's already OOC for my blog, but i encourage all of you to fill my asks inbox with anything you wanna know about my haikyuu fan experience!! 🫶🏐

i'll be filling in this lil questionnaire for other of my fandoms, and feel free to use the template and reblog with your responses!! 🤍

#fandom diy ask game #haikyuu ask game #haikyuu #haikyū!!#hq #hq asks #haikyuu asks #ask game #my asks #hq ask game

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bullet-prooflove · 1 year ago

Note

Hi. This is an ask for Vostanik Sabatino ❤️ The prompt is: 64. So many questionable choices. Thank you so much.

Burn!Series:

Part One: Burn - Nik returns home to a nightmare.

Part Two: Calling Card - Nik realises who is responsible for the explosion that nearly claimed your life.

Part Three: Promises - Nik need you to make him a promise.

It’s almost a week later that The Kid turns up at the Boatshed. Nik’s been staying there since the explosion that tore through your home, on a shitty camp bed upstairs. It’s not the worse place he’s stayed, but it’s one of the most secure.

The Kid been tracking Ferris since Nik left the CIA. It had been Nik’s op originally but when he’d hit his termination date, it was either sign up for another couple of years or come home to you. He’d made you a promise, one that he intended to keep. He’d done his time.

Ferris was someone else’s problem, that was until he’d tried to kill you.

Now he’s very much Nik’s problem.

The Kid is the only one that Nik trusts to handle this the way it needs to be handled. Your team are talking about arresting Ferris, locking him up. They don’t understand that he needs to be put down, that even from behind bars, he’d hunt you to the edges of the Earth. His relentlessness was what made him such a good operative, it’s also the thing that’s making Nik’s life a living hell.

“I almost caught up with him yesterday in Fort Bragg.” The Kid tells Nik as the two men sit across from one other. “Missed him by a couple of hours.”

He’s had a haircut since Nik last saw him, shaved. It makes him look much younger than his twenty five years, it’s the reason Nik calls him The Kid. A baby face like that, people tend to underestimate him and he uses it to his advantage. They don’t realise that he’s one of the best marksmen in the country, that he has twenty seven kills to date and that’s just the ones on record.

The two of them had spent six months out in the wild chasing down Ferris, they’d lived in caves, derelict buildings, anywhere they could seek shelter because while they were hunting him, he was also hunting them.

“He left these behind.” The Kid tells him, removing an envelope from a holdall that’s resting on the chair alongside of him.

Nik frowns as he picks it up, tipping the contents onto the table in front of him. They’re photographs, high res, glossy images. It takes Nik a second to realise what he’s looking at and when he does his pulse accelerates, his heart thudding wildly in his chest because each and every picture is of you.

His fingers grasp the top one, the paper crumpling as he clutches it so hard his knuckles turn white.

You’re standing on the end of a wooden jetty, alongside Sam’s boat. The other man is in the background, refuelling the vessel. Your hair is tied back and you’re wearing one of his sweaters over a pair of white jeans. He’d given it to you before you’d left, a little piece of him to carry with you.

“You know who she is?” The Kid asks him.

“She’s NCIS.” Nik says, his voice his coming out in a rasp. “He blew up her house last week.”

Our house, he corrects himself. The place the two of you had made a home.

“It doesn’t make sense.” The Kid says, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown. “She’s not even his type…”

“No.” Nik says, setting the pictures down before he raises his eyes to meet the other man’s gaze. “She’s mine.”

It takes a second for The Kid to understand what he’s saying.

“There’s a Mrs Sabatino?”

“No.” Nik says leaning back in his seat, his knee jangling. “At least not yet.”

“She’s the reason you decided to get out.” The Kid summarises, his fingertips rapping out a tune upon the surface of the table. “You told me you weren’t the kind of man that settles down.”

“I lied.” Nik says simply. “The same way you lied about your boyfriend back in San Franisco.”

“You said it’s best not to have any attachments.” The Kid says, shrugging his shoulders. “They could be used as leverage against you.”

“Evidently I was right.” Nik says pushing the photographs back towards The Kid. “I thought I’d managed to keep her safe, instead I put a target on her back.”

“For now.” The Kid says, inclining his head. “We can use this to our advantage, he’s tracking her but we know the end location. We can set up a trap, move her elsewhere. Take him out and you get your happily ever after.”

“Do you really think he’s going to make it that simple?” Nik asks him, picking up one of the images and shaking his head. “He left these behind intentionally, he wants me to know he’s going after her.”

Nik knows that Ferris wants to torture him. It’s just a matter of time before he tracks you down to Portland, if he hasn’t already.

Nik has no choice, he has to follow.

The only saving grace is that you have Sam with you and he knows the other man will do everything in his power to protect you. He doesn’t count you out either. You survived Afghanistan, faced down more criminals than he can count, you’re clever, scrappy and above all you’re a fighter, he has no doubt you will do everything you can to stay alive, to come back to him.

“It’s a sixteen hour drive to Portland.” He tells The Kid as he raises to his feet. “We better get moving.”

Love Nik? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Interested in supporting me? Join my Patreon for Bonus Content!

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

@kmc1989 @words-and-seeds @novamariestark @whateversomethingbruh @@a-noni-love @reneejett4

#vostanik sabatino x reader #ncis los angeles #vostanik sabatino #vostanik sabatino x you #nik sabatino #erik palladino #nik sabatino x reader #nik sabatino x you #sabatino #sabatino x reader #sabatino x you #ncis

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ginger-snap-talkin-nonsense · 2 years ago

Note

what are the core ingredients of a Tumblr Sexyman

Now you see THIS is an interesting question because in it lies a cultural shift in hotness that we can observe in real time.

You see, in an earlier era one could easily describe a tumblr sexyman as a character with the following traits:

-White/White Presenting in the fandoms eyes should the character be humanized in fanon only as was the case for characters like Bill Cipher

-Tall and Thin: tumblr girlies love looking different while not being different and therefore the average tumblrite would reject the “hunk” archetype for the slimmer figure, though having no regard for chubby or fat body types.

-Morally Dubious Characterization. Now this could range anywhere from a “fall from grace” in which a true good character finds themselves becoming the villain, to just straight up being a genocidal maniac but they were nice that one time to another conventionally attractive character (likely a protagonist). The point is to have a villain without the baggage of them being true evil.

-Tragic Backstories. From lost friends to corrupting outside forces to abusive daddies to abusive daddies to abusive daddies (there’s a lot of abusive daddies), you want your characters morally questionable choices to be blamable on anybody but themselves.

-Expensive Aesthetic. Suits, waistcoats, vests, even white button-up undershirts all portray someone as having money (regardless of their wealth status), while showing off that slim figure.

-“Charming”. Now what a tumblr girlie would call charming was often as dubious as the characters moral standings and it tended to come in two flavors: Coy and smarmy, which has a man who feels on top of the world, always has a quick retort, and can often be seen making half-lidded eyes at the protagonist with a sly grin on their face. They have not a care because they’ve already won. Conversely, they could be “Awkward”. Dorky and soft, tripping over sentences and their own feet, but they’re just sooooo cute about it. These tend to be the types to have meltdowns where they could be seen breaking things in a room and shouting while tears roll down their face because they’re “so emotionally available”.

AND THEN SUDDENLY SANS

Sans became something of a base-breaker as Sans broke many of these conventions. He dresses down, his body type-while being literal bones-is still fat presenting, his only “moral pitfall” doesn’t actually exist as he only attacks if you prove yourself to be actively genocidal, and he’s a short king. By all means, Papyrus SHOULD’VE been the TSM, if not Mettaton (who was near made for the role). And yet, Sans. Why?

Well, a shift was coming. Body positivity was on the rise and genuinely likeable characters were in shorter supply than ever before because too many pieces of fandom media were pandering to the TSM tastes, and if there’s one thing a counter culture fella loves it’s jumping to the next counter cultural movement when counter culture becomes the culture.

This means that Sans actually heralds in a new era, as different sizes, demeanors, and aesthetics started to break the base (see also: Alex Brightman’s Beetlejuice). However, there are some principles that still remain

-Coy charms and awkward charms alike are still pervasive in the TSM arsenal and a tragic backstory still has hooks in the audience, even if nowadays it may not necessarily apply to a morally dubious sort. Also they’re still like, all white. Because fandoms at large have a racism problem.

As one might note the TSM isn’t often an applied term these days, and that’s because as the TSM scope broadened new terms were being used to describe subsets before the umbrella term was dropped all together. Girlypop, babygirl, himbo, blorbo, glup shitto, etc. are all in their own way just a branch off the gnarled root of the TSM.

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icemavly · 2 years ago

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ICEMAN + MAVERICK: A PLAYLIST (PART ONE/?)

THE LONELIEST, måneskin

and i just keep on thinking how you made me feel better and all the crazy little things that we did together. in the end, in the end, it doesn’t matter if tonight is gonna be the loneliest.

let’s start with some angst, because aren’t we all suckers for it? this song fits perfectly a scenario where ice and mav get to be together (post-canon, 1986), but as time passes their relationship starts to become more and more difficult because of their positions. tom is trying to climb up in rank and everybody has a lot of expectations for him. he’s forced to marry a woman, start a family, focus on his job only. but tom did make pete feel better, he did since the beginning, since goose’s death. the night after tom’s wedding is the loneliest of pete’s life, because he knows that everything is over forever. tom is part of pete even though he will never be his.

homemade dynamite, lorde

a couple rebel top gun pilots flying with nowhere else to be, don’t know you super well but i think you might be the same as me / i’ll give you my best side, tell you all my best lies, seeing me rolling, showing someone else love, hands under your t-shirt, know i think you’re awesome, right?

during top gun, mav and ice go to the o’ club quite a lot. it’s always with the others – goose, slider, hollywood, wolfman – but even with the loud music playing in the background and their friends joking and laughing all around them, they can’t ignore the looks they give each other. tom thinks he’s hallucinating, he’s almost sure of it, but sometimes maverick’s glances and jokes make him think that he might want more. during those nights, a lot of people flirt with mav. he’s often surrounded by girls, and tom is absolutely not going crazy about it. but one night something changes. mav convinces tom to go out with him alone, to some bar in san diego – the others are busy anyway. tom accepts, and when they get there the situation doesn’t change much: mav still gets surrounded by girls (and boys) and tom curses himself, because he can’t believe he got himself dragged in a bar by maverick mitchell only to watch him flirt with other people. but when he’s about to lose his hope, mav comes back to him saying something like “couldn’t stand watching you being here all by yourself” and ice can only laugh it off nervously. then a good song starts playing, and mav drags ice on the dance floor. that’s the night maverick boldly confesses his feeling to ice and finds out they’re reciprocated.

wings, birdy

oh lights go down in the moment we’re lost and found, i just wanna be by your side if these wings could fly for the rest of our lives / i’m in a foreigner state, my thoughts they slip away, my words are leaving me, they caught an aeroplane because i thought of you, just for the thought of you

believe me when i say this just describes ice and mav’s life together. them meeting for the first time, flying together, falling in love, deciding to share a life, being there for each other, getting old side by side.

#icemav #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #maverick #top gun #top gun: maverick #*playlist

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shanehughcs · 10 months ago

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━ his father was loud laughter and notebook after notebook of solid writing and was also the smell of vodka and staying up too late for his own good. 'dad, dad, please go to bed,' and his father would laugh and say 'not yet.'

Character name: Shane Hughes

Age: Forty-one

Gender identification & pronouns: Cis-male & he/him

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Residential area: Masonboro

Hometown and length of time in Wilmington: San Francisco and moved to Wilmington 7 years ago

Occupation: Florist and Owner of Branches + Vine

Positive traits: protective, loyal, charming

Negative traits: single-minded, stubborn, relentless

Faceclaim: Jesse Williams

TLDR ; Shane Hughes is the ultimate protector. After losing his mother to his father's abuse, his grandmother to old age, and younger brother to a kidnapping overseas, one might wonder if Shane has experienced far too much trauma for one person. But with therapy and gardening, the florist is finally learning how to navigate the minefield of triggers that life seems to throw at him.

PINTEREST / CONNECTIONS

TW: verbal and physical abuse, parental abuse, parental death, grandparent death, mention of kidnapping, sibling death

From the outside looking in, Dominic and Tracy Hughes looked like the perfect couple with the perfect life. But behind closed doors, Dominic was an incredibly verbally and physically abusive husband. The abuse was so bad, that Tracy isolated herself from her family who had begun to ask questions. When the couple had kids, Tracy hoped that maybe it would calm Dominic down. Instead, the abuse just continued. At first, just verbally, but the pain from being verbally abused by your father wasn’t any less just because it wasn’t physical.

As the oldest child, Shane did his best to try to protect his little brother, Josiah, from it, but their father was a perfectionist who was impossible to please. Nothing the boys could do was ever good enough for Dominic. Anything they did well at, whether at school or in sports, Dominic hounded on them to practice and get better at, but no matter how much they succeeded, no matter how many awards they won, it was never good enough

One summer, when Shane was 14, he came home from summer camp and found his father and mother arguing near the top of their staircase. Shane watched as his father shoved his mother and pushed her down the stairs. Tracy broke her neck and died on impact. Dominic ordered Shane not to tell a soul or else he would leave with Shane’s younger brother. Shane felt like he had to protect Josiah and lied to the cops for his father. It is a decision that haunts him to this day.

Shane was so traumatized by his father and his childhood experience, that he swore he would never, ever be a father. Not if there was a chance he could end up like his own father. He feared for his future children’s lives and for his future spouse’s

Shane grew to become a very determined, very protective, young man. He refused to go out of state for college because he refused to leave Josiah at home alone with their father. So he went to Stanford, living at home throughout his studies, until his younger brother was old enough to go to college as well. During his MBA at Stanford, he met and quickly fell in love with Samira Iyer. He was a TA for several of her classes and the two quickly struck up a close friendship.

Several years after they had both graduated, they finally fell into a relationship and the years they spent together were truly some of the happiest years of Shane’s life up until that point. They even got engaged, preparing to spend the rest of their lives together, until suddenly two pink strips on a pregnancy test sent Shane’s life into a spiral.

The positive pregnancy test triggered a lot of unresolved trauma for Shane, and admittedly, he didn’t respond positively, instead immediately going into panic mode. He had assumed that because they never talked about kids, they were on the same page about not wanting them. Evidently, he was wrong. Samira wanted to keep the bably and Shane, in a desperate attempt at maintaining his own sanity, knew he couldn’t be a father. He begged Samira to give the baby up for adoption, but Samira knew she wanted more for their baby and herself, so with the decision to keep the baby, she ended their relationship

Shane went into a very intense downward spiral. He quit his job, which he been in line for a promotion for, broke his lease, and very quickly left San Francisco. Having put together - through bits and pieces his mother told him - that her family lived in a town called Wilmington, Shane packed up and moved there, only telling his brother, who had become a photojournalist and camera man for a international news agency, where he was going.

In Wilmington, Shane finally settled himself. He developed a relationship with his maternal grandmother, who loved gardening and taught him everything she knew about plants and flowers. He also finally began to go to therapy, to deal with all of the trauma he clearly still held onto from his childhood. When his grandmother passed away, a year after he moved to Wilmington, she left her family’s fortune to him, and it was just enough for him to open his own floral shop, where he could put the skills he had learned from her to good use.

Five years ago, Shane got the worst news of his life. Josiah, who he loved more than anyone else in the world, had been kidnapped while working on a story overseas, along with the rest of his crew, and Josiah had been killed. Shane was devastated. He traveled back to San Francisco for Josiah’s funeral and saw his father for the first time in years. The two nearly came to blows when Dominic dared to insinuate that it was somehow Shane’s fault Josiah had been killed. But truth be told, the protector in Shane can’t help but wonder if his father is right.

He returned to Wilmington, having taken several steps backwards on his healing journey and has been continuing to go to therapy to get to a better place ever since. His love for gardening has turned into a bit of therapy on it’s own and there’s nothing better for him when he feels triggered than to go spend some time in his garden.

#wnc.intro #about #tw verbal abuse #tw physical abuse #tw parental abuse #tw parental death #tw grandparent death #tw kidnapping #tw sibling death

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mymomisdrunkagain · 11 months ago

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My Mother is a Fat Fucking Drunk - Origins - Chapter 1

…

And because we live in America's Finest City, she moved into my living room. She's been sleeping on the couch. AND SHES KILLING ME.

Origins - Chapter 1

This living arrangement has been going on for about a year, I think? It certainly feels much much longer tho. It was going okay for a while, but shit got real at the beginning of this year (2024) when it finally started to sink in that everything she'd been telling us (my Auntie/her sister, and I) since moving in and onto our couch, all these ideas and goals, and intentions of self-help and general life-re-tooling to get herself back on track--- they were all lies. Manipulations. Fabrications that I don't think she ever even believed in. She told us what we needed to hear to lower our guard and welcome her in with open arms.

My Auntie and I get along famously. We've been living together in her 740 sq.ft. home in a decent-sized area of San Diego called Clairemont. It doesn't have the proudest pedigree, but its certainly come a long way since its general inception in the 50's. The part of Clairemont we call home was actually a planned community of naval housing. Block after block of the same house, offered in 5 variations with all the essentials for military families, but no over-the-top bells and/or whistles.

The house we live in had actually belonged to her late husband, Mike, who owned and operated one of only three auto shops that specialized in maintenance and repair of Alfa Romeos. He'd always been a big fan of the zippy little Italian sports cars and started racing them when Alfa/FIAT made a big push for the American market in the mid-to-late-70's. Mike was one of the most unique characters I've ever met. For the sake of brevity in this "Intro," we'll discuss Uncle Mike in a sidebar sometime later. His character stats in the CCG of my life would feature some very unique abilities, but in bold caps at the top of the list would be LOYALTY rank 11, out of a 1-10 scale.

Which held a tinge of irony, as I found myself moving into the empty 3rd bedroom of a condo Auntie shared with the man she'd left Uncle Mike for. I had just been forcibly "rescued" from my life up in LA by my half confused, half frustrated, all disappointed father just 6 months prior, and we all thought it wasn't a totally terrible idea that I rent a room from Auntie. Dad's Loyalty stat is unfortunately significantly lower than 11 (as I've borne witness to him cutting off, or bailing on, family members just because they'd become 'inconvenient'), but he does have a proper rating in Honor, aka, staying true to his word, aka, sticking by promises he's made.

In January of 2003, as he was trying to explain to me over the phone, between my panicked, dramatic wails of betrayal and condemnation, what was expected of me and how the next few steps would play out; how he would be at my new apartment's front door with a 17ft u-haul on January 31st, and how I was expected to be all packed up in moving boxes ready to go before his arrival, about how the apartment was to be cleaned and repaired from top to bottom because he was expecting a 100% refund of the rental's deposit, and how we would then drive back down to San Diego, lock whatever I had in storage, and how on February 1st, he'd be picking me up from the hotel room he'd gotten me in San Diego's Historic Old Town (mere blocks away from his house), and we'd be enrolling me in whatever form of therapy or counseling or rehab or clever combination thereof that I needed to hit the restart button on my life to begin things anew.

Well, somewhere between his emotionless, monotone exposition of why this and who that, and during any rare breaks in my sobs and threats and accusations and unintelligible pleadings and promises of sorting my life out, if he'd just let me stay-- somewhere in all that, he made a promise that as long as I was either in therapy or working at a job in whatever capacity I could, that he would cover my rent. And he did, because I did, and he continued paying my rent all the way up to my 42nd birthday.

HARD STOP due to length.

To be continued…

-----

#the saga #venting #my story #so this is life #origins - chapter 1

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sowninchrist · 2 years ago

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The Easy Way Out 🌱🔥

Blessed is the Lord, honor and glory to Him, thanking the Lord for this revelation, in the four Gospels the Lord has been showing deep messages and how it’s visible in our everyday lives. How important it is to keep this Word and help those who are in the darkness come into the Light. This Word has been with me for a week and i felt that i needed something, that the Lord revealed this week but that’s going to be one of the final notings.

in Matthew 4:8-9 in GW, “Once more the devil took Him to a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms in the world and their glory. The devil said to Him, “I will give You all this if You will bow down and worship me.””

in the AMP it says,

“Again, the devil took Him up on a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory [splendor, magnificence, and excellence] of them; and he said to Him, “All these things I will give You, if You fall down and worship me.””

the devil gave Jesus a point of view that was false, a narrative that temporarily was beautiful but He knew already the difference in the “promise” and the promise.

in Matthew 4:10 (GNT), Jesus fights satan with the Word, “Then Jesus answered, “Go away, Satan! The Scripture says, ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve only Him!’”

what the Holy Spirit always showed was how the devil used the Word to tempt Jesus but only in a distorting way that Jesus caught it, in the beginning of Matthew chapter 4, verses 1-7, just like he distorted God’s order through His Word to Adam and Eve, he tried it with Jesus as well; if you’ve gotten an understanding, if someone who is outside or not abided well with the Lord will be used by the devil to distort a truth in a lie, this we know because we see it not only in the world but also in the walk in Christ even more.

1st Revelation: there’s two high points, two perspectives - the Godly one and the perverse one

the perverse: this isn’t the only thing that caught my attention, in chapter 4, satan takes Jesus up on a mountain where He could see all the kingdoms that the devil had offered Jesus, they were filled as the AMP mentions, “ very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory [splendor, magnificence, and excellence] of them;”, you see this today, the devil shows people from a high point of view a perspective that’s perverse, not forever and temporary, he tells people that if they fall to worship him, they will have so much of the “promises” there is in the world.

this gave me the rhema of the intermission of an album i listen to from a christian band named Miel San Marcos where a pastor named Samuel Rodriguez mentions that many celebrities (fed into this lie) that they would be more worshipped than the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, and just as he said, they perished but the church is still standing, why? because like he prophetically said, everything that’s from God always wins, the darkness cannot overcome the Light.

the devil wanted Jesus to worship him, give Him the riches without carrying a cross only we know that outcome for us would’ve been bad, but thanks be to the Lord our God because Jesus knew no sin and wasn’t planning on walking away due to sight or due to what He heard from the devil.

the Godly: in Matthew 5, Jesus goes up at the top of the mountain in 5:1 AMP, ““When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and when He was seated, His disciples came to Him.”

what i love about this is that Jesus invites His disciples to sit with Him on this mountain and then He starts to talk about those who are blessed and what they will inherit but being the Son of Man, He also tells us the Truth of what hypocrites will also inherit, Jesus is quick to show us the Truth because He knows first hand what lies the devil will say to get anyone to perish.

in Matthew 16:24-26 Jesus makes this same example of the perverse “promise” and the promise,

2nd Revelation: Choosing God or the world alters how you view everything and how you hear everything

in Matthew 16:24 AMP, “Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me].”

^ this comparison He shows you the Truth, you’re going to suffer, He isn’t hiding this from anyone, i love to tell people this Truth because a lot of those who aren’t in Christ who don’t know Jesus, wonder why there’s so many attacks within the church towards each other or towards those outside of Christ.

then in Matthew 16:25-26 AMP, (25) “For whoever wishes to save his life [in this world] will [eventually] lose it [through death], but whoever loses his life [in this world] for My sake will find it [that is, life with Me for all eternity]. (26) For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world [wealth, fame, success], but forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?”

^ Jesus tells you ultimately what you earn by choosing life, He doesn’t shy away from it either when He mentions what is it to lose your soul over all these worldly things? are you willing to experience double the death for following and wanting the worldly pleasures?

what would’ve happened if Jesus had left the promise that the Lord gave Him for the “promise” that the father of falsehood had showed Him, we see how Jesus taught His disciples to walk by faith not by sight(2 Cor 5:7), how the things we see in this world are temporary, whilst what we can’t see is eternal and that is also promised to us(2 Cor 4:18).

this week we’ve been very blessed to have our apostle visit us and something he said very much tied together with this, we are all promised something, the Lord has promised me something but so has the liar, just as he has also “promised” me, he has a “promise” for you and everyone in this world that leads to death, but just like that, the Lord in His abundant mercy and love for us has a faithful promise, for those who accept His Son into their hearts, He went through so much to give us many promises; not walking away from God’s promise, we choose to suffer for them, but choosing to hear the words of the devil means walking away and going the easy way. this was a powerful message for me because there hasn’t been a moment where he hasn’t stopped tempted me but i stay firm in my promises that the Lord has revealed to me personally, so walking away has never been my go to, just as i pray that no one else leaves their Godly promises for the “promise”.

when He has shown you a promise, stay faithful because in all promises the devil will move because he wants you to lose that promise, how will he move? seducing your heart, using others to lie into your ears, using others to do evil works due to coveting in their hearts of the promise the Lord has for us.

Jesus rebuked satan and his “promises” and that’s what we also need to do; follow the Lord’s example, be imitators and pick up the authority He left us, in His Name.

The apostle was mentioning that someone who walks away from the promise in Spanish is, errante which means a person who is wandering, who has no place, it’s interesting because depending on what promise God has given you, whether its a stable finance, a desire that’s on the Lord’s heart for you, even a person can be a promise like jacob and leah, we need to always ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to us when we are walking in disobedience or obedience to these promises, this is what i love because this was a rhema to me concerning what a pastor said about this, obedience to the Lord is to submit yourself into prayer; if you want the promise you gotta submit yourself to full prayer what God does is He makes the works within you to have that promise, God won’t change the purpose, He will fix the way the situation is going to get you to that promise.

when we get into prayer God speaks to all of us about how to fix our ways, because whilst yes God speaks to us about promises, He also speaks to us about our errors, as a pastora from my congregation said, “i don’t believe people who say the Lord speaks to them but they have a lot of correcting to do and the Lord doesn’t speak to them about that?”, in my previous topics i’ve mentioned how we can ruin a promise with our tempers, our actions, we need to acknowledge that when we put another idol on our hearts, it could be feelings or objects, we replace the Lord and can wander from the promises the Lord has for us.

there’s so many people who have been faithful to the Lord in the Bible and how they carried out the will of the Lord, we can avoid leaving a promise when we submit to the Lord and not act on status, feelings, lies, etc.

3rd Revelation: hold captive every thought, feeling, imagination under the obedience of Christ

i love this revelation because even when we are unfaithful to the Lord, He is always faithful to us, in 2 Tim 2:11-13 AMP, is written, “This is a faithful and trustworthy saying: If we died with Him, we will also live with Him; If we endure, we will also reign with Him; If we deny Him, He will also deny us; If we are faithless, He remains faithful [true to His Word and His righteous character], for He cannot deny Himself.”

but how do we hold ourselves back when you want to give in, just like Jesus did, He rebuked satan for giving Him any say of any “promise”, He knew the schemes of satan because He knew the enormous promise that He had, even so; Jesus knew no sin, He is the perfecter and author of our Faith.

as well as by fully submitting to the Holy Spirit, only He is capable of holding us accountable and convicting us when we want to stray; so always keep an alert mind the ways of the devil to make you lose a Godly promise is through lies, through the weaknesses of your heart, through sight and no knowledge of what you see directly meaning don’t go based on heresy nor what you see, don’t go based on anything that has any human dependency as my youth pastor said, don’t find comfort in a person because this walk in Faith is with God, not by those who live in the flesh.

4th Revelation: pay attention to the earnings you receive with your decision vs with obedience

something that i love that the Holy Spirit showed before posting this was to notice something big, it’s quite obvious if you look at the Word closely, the devil told Jesus kingdoms of what He was seeing, we don’t know how tall that mountain was but we know it doesn’t embark the entire world, Jesus was seeing less than 3/4s or even maybe 1 half of half the 4ths of the world, the devil was showing Him a hand worths of kingdoms.

God says, He is the Ruler of all nations not a hand worths of nations, no all nations.

Matthew 25:32 AMP, “All the nations will be gathered before Him [for judgment]; and He will separate them from one another, as a shepherd separates his sheep from the goats;”

Isaiah 9:6-7 NLT, “For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called: Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity. The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies will make this happen!”

Psalms 22:28 AMP, “For the kingship and the kingdom are the Lord’s And He rules over the nations.”

5th Revelation: where your dependency is, is where your future is heading

Matthew 6:21 NLT, “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”

Where you have placed your heart is a reflection of who or what you depend on.

this shows us what happens with many of us, what the devil is showing the children of God, might not always be the things of the world but instead showing us an easy way out of the promise we were given to choose another path that avoids picking up our cross the way God wants us to and we ourselves can interrupt our walk to the approved promise by God; meaning if you want the promise, you’re going to have to apply the Word and depend on God to get to the promise, but you end up seeing that it’s very hard and want to give up, the devil will show you an easier walk that can be within Christ, but the road leads to easier trials where you don’t need to pick up the cross the way you couldn’t before. when a person can’t handle it they’ll get desperate because of any trial because they can’t it’s because they weren’t stable in Christ and His Word. the promise that may still be with God but not to the path of the promise that He had given you when He first gave you a promise in this land, which alters a lot of your future and the if you’re not aware, you can spiritually sleep on the promises and alter your own life with what you depended on instead of depending on God.

When we stand firm in our promises, we are walking in obedience to the Lord, if you are having trouble listening to God, it is when you must completely submit to prayer and study the Word, where the Holy Spirit shows you His guidance. Do not fall into heresy, what you see, weaknesses; God allows this to happen but also He always gives you a way out He allows this so that His children know how to recognize His Voice against the voice of the evil one.

Fulfill your promises that He gave you, do not let the enemy put thoughts in your head that go to your heart and that leads you to destruction, because your actions lead you to have conclusions that are not what we think and will lose everything for nothing. God is faithful to completing the promises in you when you do not have idols, and when you do not base yourself on what the devil uses, which is to others who tell you lies in your ears, nor do you base yourself on your feelings, or what you look at because the devil uses others to manipulate the truth before your eyes or distort situations by your feelings, or worse when it becomes mixed, with your feelings, pride and idols altogether.

how to submit yourself and rely on the Lord:

prayer, reading the Word, worshipping Him at all times, don’t fall into any temptation that can give the devil a foot into your head to influence your heart.

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