#but then i felt a bit bad bc i didnt know if people around me thought i was joking…

[llatimeria]

processed some trauma i think

[beachbummrr]

also i have a clip of wilbur abt to start singing perfume w quackity but his guitar unplugs so theres a lull and u audibly hear me say “that kinda sounds like dog shit… my fault my fault”

[freezi-drink]

Vent vvv

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?

[tinylittlebab]

hmm.

[httplilyyy]

𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐎𝐓𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 || 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐇 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐌𝐒𝐎𝐍

pairing: leah williamson x reader

request: ‘hope you’re doing well! i just want to say that i absolutely love your fics and when i saw that your requests were open again i almost screamed bc i have been holding onto this idea just for you. i actually saw this idea on my college love letters instagram page that said “if we're both single by a certain age we will marry each other" is always a fun story concept but it could be even better if the pact is made between rivals (r x leah) as a drunken dare and they go on to sabotage each other's relationships because they've been secretly in love all along.’

summary: you hated each other, right? so why the hell do you want to kiss her?

warnings: swearing (that’s pretty much it)

word count: 3.8k

a/n: i’m alive mfs, i kinda changed the request a little but i hope that’s alright. let’s also ignore the fact that this is my first post of 2023 and it’s march also a huge thank you for 850 followers :)

woso masterlist

Your fingers tapped absentmindedly on the glass in your hand. The smell of cheap booze and sweat lingered in the air. Watching as drunken bodies swarmed the dance floor, you leaned your back against the bar.

You don't know how many drinks you’ve had, you didn’t know what was going on, who you were with or where you were. But what you did know was how much you hated her.

You swirled the straw in your glass, watching on as, out of all the clubs in London, she happened to be in the same one as you.

No matter how drunk or sober you were, you always found something in you to dislike every little thing about her.

Whilst some people would call you petty and childish, they didn't know how the feeling was reciprocated.

From the moment you joined Arsenal one thing was made clear. Leah Williamson did not like you. Whatever you did, good or bad, Leah always found something to make her dislike for you more prominent.

At first it was little comments here and there, out of shot from your teammates but it soon escalated into making it her personal mission and life goal to hate you in front of anyone at any time and at any place.  

No matter what you did you could never get Leah to like you, so, if you can't beat them, join them.

Every comment leah made, you retaliated and leah didn't like it. Not one bit.

“Of course you're here.” Leah sighed as she stood beside you, ordering herself another drink.

You didnt turn to look at her, your focus still lingering on everyone else. Breathing through your nose, you gave a disgruntled hum with a small nod of your head.

“Not in the talkative mood tonight, y/n?” Leah questioned, a teasing undertone to her voice as she cocked her head to the side, looking at your side profile.

“Nope.” You replied, popping the ‘p’.

“That's unlike you.” Leah said. “Normally you’re going on and on about how much you hate me.”

“Mhm, maybe I've run out of energy.” You shrugged your shoulders, finally turning your head to look at her.

“Woah, who are you and what have you done to y/n?” Leah chuckled, the alcohol definitely present in her system.

“Very funny, good night Leah.” You said, your voice holding little emotion; sounding somewhat like a robot.

You placed your drink onto the bar counter and walked away from the defender; whose eyes stared at your back curiously.

Just as you were about to make your way out of the club, you felt a cold hand grab onto your arm. Turning around, you were met with a, now very noticeable, drunk Leah.

Sighing to yourself, your head dropped to the floor as you tried to regain any type of courage.

“And where do you think you’re going y/l/n?” Leah questioned, her voice coming out slurred.

“Home.” You deadpanned, removing Leah’s hand from your arm.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Leah pondered, eyebrows furrowing.

“A lot actually, I'll be away from you.” You said, giving a sarcastic smile before walking away again.

“Hey! Wait, one dance.” Leah shouted, catching up to you.

“I’m sorry?” You questioned incredulously, turning around to look back at Leah.

“One dance,” Leah pleaded, “and then you can go.”

“No?” You said, chuckling to yourself at how drunk Leah was.

“Come on. Stop being a party pooper.” Leah said, pulling on your arm and the two of you slowly made your way to the dance floor.

“Fine. One dance,” you huffed, giving in, “but that's it.”

A beaming smile took over Leah’s face as she dragged you in between all the bodies that littered the dance floor, planting the two of you right in the middle.

“Kill me now.” You muttered to yourself, standing as stiff as a board, freezing even more when Leah took a hold of your hands and placed them onto her waist.

“Let loose y/l/n.” Leah whispered into your ear before she turned around and started to dance.

Loud music drowned out your thoughts allowing you to forget about everything going on around you.

For a moment you forgot who you were with, what you were doing and where you were, allowing your mind to go somewhere else.

One dance seemed to turn into four and before you knew it you had been dancing with Leah for minutes on end.

Just as you were about to get lost in another dance, a body crashed into yours from behind, snapping you from whatever trace you were currently kept in.

Finally snapping back to your senses, you pulled your hands away from Leah and made your way out of the club, not uttering a single word to the blonde defender rushing behind you.

Letting out an exhale of air once you walked outside you rummaged around in your pockets for your phone only to come up short til you heard your name from over your shoulder.

“Looking for something?” Leah questioned as she walked towards you, your phone in hand.

“How did you get my phone?” You wondered as you tried to reach for your phone but Leah moved it out of your reach.

“That's for me to know and for you to find out.” Leah chuckled as she tapped your phone on your chest.

“Look leah,” you sighed exasperatedly, “just give me my phone, I need to call an uber.”

“How about I propose a deal?”

“I- yeah fine, whatever just give me my phone.” You said, throwing your hands up in the air as your patience grew very thin.

“Let's say I give you back your phone only if you agree to us getting married by a certain age- if we are single of course.”

“No chance.” You laughed, shaking your head in disbelief at the words that just came out of Leah's mouth.

“Fine, I get to keep your phone then.” Leah said, shrugging her shoulders before walking away and down the road.

“Fuck my life.” You muttered, looking up into the sky as your shoulders sagged.

You took one cleansing breath in before shaking your head and running to catch up with a certain blonde defender.

“I’ll do it.” You said, finally catching up to Leah, walking beside her.

“Finally came to your senses have you?” Leah questioned, the teasing tone coming back in full force.

“Don’t. I can't believe I agreed,” you sighed, “can I have my phone back now?”

“One more thing-”

“Oh what now?”

“You give me a ride home too.”

“Yeah, fine, okay.”

After you booked an uber, the two of you waited on the side of the road. You would occasionally turn your head to look at the blonde beside you, noticing that she hugged herself, shivering from the cold.

“Here.” You muttered, handing your jacket in front of Leah.

She looked at you confused for a second, before she gingerly reached her hand out and took the clothing from your hand.

A small ‘thank you’ fell from her lips as she slipped your jacket on, unconsciously pulling the material up to her nose, taking in your perfume that lingered on it.

The two of you didn't have to wait much longer and before you knew it, you were holding a car door open for Leah, letting her get into the uber before you.

The journey to Leah’s was short and the two of you were soon pulling up outside her place.

“Walk me to my door?” Leah asked, a small smile gracing her lips.

“I might as well, huh?” You replied, rolling your eyes although there was no malicious intent behind the action.

Promising the driver you would only be a couple of minutes, you exited the car and walked around to Leah’s side before opening her door. You held out your hand and she graciously took it in hers, pulling herself up and out of the car.

Shutting the door behind her, you walked her up to her front door where you stopped and waited for the blonde to open it.

After a little struggle, Leah managed to get her door open and she stepped into her place, turning around, one hand on the door the other fiddling with her keys.

“You’re a real piece of work, y’know.” You smiled, shaking your head.

“You love me though.” Leah joked, looking at her feet.

“In your dreams,” you laughed, “make sure you have some water and paracetamol in the morning.”

“Awh, you care about me.”

“Piss off, I'm going to be best friends with your hangover in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye y/l/n.” Leah smiled.

“Night.” You said, replying with a similar smile.

Just as you were about to back away from Leah’s doorstep her cold hand grasped your arm again for the second time that night. Stopping in your tracks, eyebrows raised, you wondered what Leah was going to say.

She looked a little conflicted, not knowing what to say so she didn’t say anything, giving you a little peck on your cheek before pulling away and walking back into her place with a smile not leaving her face.

Your eyebrows rose even higher than they were before and you let out a breathy chuckle before making your way back to the uber and back to your place.

The next morning you had training, begrudgingly getting out of bed, you got ready for the day. The journey wasn’t bad, although you felt a headache creeping its way into your head.

Suddenly, you regretted the amount of alcohol you consumed yesterday. You don't remember much from last night, only a few things here and there albeit they were still a little fuzzy.

You soon met up with the other girls and conversed as you walked onto the pitch. Out of the corner of your eye you saw a certain defender who looked like they had been to hell and back.

Letting out a quiet snicker, you walked past her shaking your head with a smile. Leah noticed and sent a sneer your way, not that you cared and that only aggravated her more.

Time went by quickly and before you knew it training had finished. You were walking back to your car when Katie came running up to you.

“Hey y/n!” Katie shouted, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“What's up?” You smiled, turning around to face her.

“Me and a couple of the girls are going bowling later and we wondered if you wanted to come?”

“Yeah, sure. It’s not like I've got anything else to do.” You shrugged.

“Cool, I'll send you the address.”

“Yeah, no problem, see you later.”

It was around six in the afternoon when you pulled your car up to the bowling alley. Getting out of your car you slid your phone into your pocket before walking into the place. You knew immediately where to go from the loud noise coming from a particular group.

Sending them a smile you walked up to them but it soon dropped, not enough for anyone to notice, but it was safe to say you didn't think you were going to enjoy tonight.

Standing next to Beth, Leah was typing away on her phone. Once the blonde looked up from her phone she sent you a look which can only be described as unfriendly. To everyone else, however, they seemed to miss the way the two of you interacted and put you both into a pair.

It was you and Leah, Manu and Viv, Beth and Katie, Lotte and Steph as well as Rafa and Jen. You had very low hopes and you had a strong feeling that instead of hitting the pins Leah may end up hitting you.

Beth and Katie were to go first and it was safe to say that you didn't think they were going to win. Whilst you watched as everyone took their turns you were sat beside Leah. the two of you sitting like statues.

You thought it was because of the hatred Leah had towards you but it was completely the opposite. All the defender could think about was last night, when she kissed you on the cheek.

She didn't know why she did it but it felt right. But she knew it shouldn't have. The fact that it was so wrong was why it felt so right. Leah knew she shouldn't be feeling the way she is but she couldn't help it.

The only reason why Leah acted like she hated you was because she was afraid of getting hurt. Before she could do anything about it she was already too far down the rabbit hole for her to get out.

Leah just had to accept the fact that you’d never like her the way she liked you, and she was fine with having you in her life as an ‘enemy’ rather than not having you in her life at all.

Whilst Leah was so caught up in her own thoughts she missed the way that you looked at her. Like she was the only person in the world. Although you wouldn't tell her that.

The two of you were pining over each other and the only thing stopping you both from telling your true feelings is the fake hatred you had created.

As time went on and as the little arguments grew and grew they turned into true feelings but you never really did hate her. You were using it as a defence system, afraid of getting hurt.

The two of you were so afraid of getting hurt you didnt realise it was already too painful for you both. Too painful to realise you could be together if you weren't stupid. Too painful to realise you were falling and you were falling hard.

It was finally your turn and you stood up, grabbing a bowling ball. You looked back at Leah, searching for any kind of encouragement from her but she was too focused on the floor.

Sighing to yourself quietly, you took a quick cleansing breath and acted as if it was a match final, and you were going to win.

With your first bowl of the evening you managed to get a strike causing an uproar from the girls, snapping Leah from whatever state she was in.

Turning her head towards the noise she noticed you had put the two of you in the lead and she let out a small smile, watching on as you dodged the playful insults being thrown in your way as you sat back beside Leah.

“Guess I won't have a go this round, huh?” Leah said, a small smile gracing her lips.

“Oh, yeah, sorry, my bad.” You replied, scratching the back of your neck.

“We’re winning, it doesn't matter.” Leah shrugged, turning to watch Manu as she bowled.

“Yeah.” You whispered, trying to fight off the smile that slowly crept onto your face.

It was the fifth round when everyone started to get hungry so you volunteered to go and get some food. After asking what everyone wanted you set off to the little snack bar.

“Hey.” You said, walking up to the bar.

“Hey, what can I get for you?” The lady asked, standing behind the counter. You weren't going to lie, she was beautiful but she didn’t come anywhere near to Leah

You told her what everyone had ordered and she left you to get all your food. As you waited you drummed your fingers on the counter. She was back before you knew it and handed you your food.

“Hopefully that's not all for you.” She chuckled, nodding to the food stacked in your arms.

“I don’t think I'll even get what is mine with how hungry my friends always are.” You replied with a chuckle of your own.

“Well, you're always welcome to come back.”

“Now, is that a marketing line or an excuse to see me again?” You questioned with a raise of your eyebrow.

“Depends on your answer.” She responded.

“I guess you’ll have to find out later.” You smiled, looking back at your friends who were waving you over.

“If i’m not here just ask for Holly.”

“Yea-” You started a reply but was cut off as someone spoke over you.

“I think they will be fine.” You didn’t need to turn around to notice who it was, sending a look of apology to Holly, you walked back to your friends with Leah.

“What was that for?” You asked.

“What?” Leah replied, acting oblivious.

“Back there, I was talking to her.”

“You were taking too long and everyone is hungry.” Leah said, dodging the real reason.

“Whatever.” You muttered, speeding up so you walked ahead of her.

Everyone cheered once you placed down all the food that you had brought and were quick to tuck in.

You sat down in your original place and fiddled with the receipt, not bothering to touch your food, once you realised there was writing on the back. You turned the receipt over and in blue writing was a number scribbled down with ‘text me’ underneath it.

Letting a smile take over your features, you looked over your shoulder and caught Holly’s eye, sending her a quick wink before finally opening the packet of crisps you bought.

Leah, who was sitting in front of you instead of next to you, watched the whole interaction and couldn't help the frown that formed on her face, anger bubbling from deep inside.

“What have you got there y/l/n?” Leah asked before she could stop herself and you looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Everyone turned to face you where you were sitting, struggling to find something to say.

“Y/n’s got someone's number.” Steph said as she looked over your shoulder and the girls ‘oohed’ teasingly.

“Leave me alone.” You chuckled, putting the receipt in your pocket.

“You going to text them?” Lotte questioned and you didn't miss the way Leah rolled her eyes.

“I don't know, do you think I should Leah?” You said, looking at Leah with a challenging look on your face.

“Why are you asking me?”

“It's just that you don’t like me, so you won’t mind me asking them out, right?

“No.” Leah said, a little too quickly gaining a look from a couple of the girls.

“No, as in you don’t mind or..?”

“I- I don’t-” Leah struggled, “just do what you want.”

Before you could even comprehend what was going on, Leah had gotten up rather abruptly and made her way into the toilets.

“What was that about?” You questioned, looking at the other girls.

“I think you should go talk to her.” Viv suggested.

“Why? I mean, you see how much we don’t like each other.”

“Actually, we see how much you love each other.” Beth corrected.

“You’re joking,” you laughed, “she hates my guts.”

“But what about you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you feel about her?” Jen joined in.

“Okay, there's no need for you to gang up on me.” You said, raising your hands up in defence.

“Just go talk to her. I think you both need to have a one on one conversation.” Rafa said.

“Fine, but if we end up killing each other, it's not my fault.” You sighed, getting up from your seat and making your way to the bathroom.

As you walked into the toilets you saw Leah splash her face with some water. At the sound of the door being closed, Leah looked into the mirror and her eyes caught yours.

“How was the hangover this morning?” You asked, not really knowing what else to say.

“What are you doing in here, y/n?” Leah wondered, ignoring what you had said and getting straight to the point.

“I came to check on you,” you shrugged, “the girls made me do it.”

“How kind of you.” Leah said sarcastically.

“Why’d you run off?” You questioned, walking closer to her.

“Like you care.”

“I did ask.”

“It’s complicated.”

“I don't mind complicated.” You said, leaning back against the sink.

“I don't know.” Leah mumbled, looking at her hands. “I guess I got hurt.”

“How?” You asked, genuinely confused.

“Seeing you talk to that girl-”

“Holly.”

“-yes her, I don't know, I guess it hurt knowing that I couldn’t make you smile like she did.”

“So you're jealous? That's why you interrupted our conversation.”

“No, tha- I- no. I'm not jealous.”

“So if i were to go back out-” You said, pointing your thumb towards the door.

“No.” Leah said quickly, grabbing onto your arm.

And that's when you felt it. Her cold hands on your arm sending sparks up to your heart, setting your whole body alight. Her chest was moving up and down, her gaze actively avoiding yours.

“You know, all of this would be so much easier if I actually hated you.” You whispered, your right hand coming up to brush a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“What do you mean?” Leah asked, her gaze finally meeting yours.

“I never hated you and I never will.”

You cupped her cheek and ran your thumb along her cheekbone. Leah leant into your touch, unable to stop herself from the overwhelming feelings bubbling inside her.

Before either of you could realise what you were doing, you were both leaning in. Leah's grip tightened and her breath got caught in her throat. Hesitantly, you placed your lips on hers.

The sudden action had stunned Leah, her breath catching in her throat. She did not expect you to kiss her now. As her brain started to register what was going on, she kissed you back, putting her hands on your waist pulling you closer.

The two of you were caught up in your own small world, getting lost in the kiss. It wasn't rushed nor hungry, it was passionate and slow. You ended the kiss as you needed to breathe, getting a soft whine of protest from Leah.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” You said breathlessly.

“Kiss me again.” Leah said, not letting go of your waist.

“But- mmph”

You moved your hand from Leah’s cheek to bury your fingers in her hair, the other hand sprawled out on the small of Leah’s back, pulling her closer until your chests were pressed together. The defender clutched the bottom of your shirt, feeling as it slowly rode upwards.

Her cold fingers splayed across your stomach, gently scratching your skin. You finally broke the kiss once again and you leaned your forehead against hers.

“For the record, I still hate you.” Leah smiled, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

“No you don't.” You chuckled.

“No I don't.” Leah said, shaking her head slightly, placing another peck to your lips.

[pumpkinsy0]

we all know after the shit pony went through his mental health would be hanging on BY A THREAD so i would love some hcs about how the people around support him and how they help him cope and recover

look at ponyboy still fighting on after his traumatic moment, look at my goat mannnnn so inspirational

•i think rlly the only reason y pony was THAT happy after everything was bc he was going off of adrenaline, but right after that, he went back to having sort of a slump

•when it comes to soda, he didnt wanna rely on him too much bc he felt like that would b asking too much of soda to take his own attention off his own issues and help him w his

•but soda ofc isnt gonna just let fate handle his baby brother, and pony cant push him away all the time so their relationship is like “ok finneeee u can help me w this but just make sure u _____ first”

•darry became more protective of pony, but in a bittt more of a motherly way, hes learned to pick his battles w pony and not fight w him over everything he doesnt agree w to save pony the energy

•ponys got a bit of paranoia, i can feel it, his nightmares can get even worse, and sometimes darry, soda, and pony just sleep together w pony sandwiched in between cause they got no weighted blanket amd pony feels safer while doin that

•steve cut back on calling pony things like a tag along cause he doesnt ACTUALLY want pony feeling like hes a burden, especially w how soda acted when he was gone he sees how important pony is (well he saw that before but yknow)

•steve isnt rlly going out of his way to hang out w pony, but he tries being as accepting as he can b w him, but its so awkward for the both of them bc its not like a complete 180??? more like a 90, they still bicker but not as much and thats so weird to em

•two bit would accompany pony to the graves, it doesnt happen much bc pony cant stand looking at them, but when hes feeling desperate two takes him, twos the one who visits the graves the most anyways

•pony had a huge eating problem for a week or so and everything just taste like bologna, so the gang had to just come together to find out what they should make bc he was just not eating squat

•pony got a huge fascination w fire and theyd notice him looking into it a lillll too long for comfort, basically disassociating, so theyd have to pull him back into the #realworld but this would mean that ponys heads r in the clouds and before they WOULD scold him for that, and they still do, just not as rough

•so for ponys protection, theres always someone w him, although they do feel bad bc theres nobody pony can hang out w thats rlly HIS age,,,unless he hangs out w,,,no,,,,i shant say his name,,,,

[zvdvdlvr]

Hi I just saw ur post about the sh comfort, could you write a sh comfort fic, a outsiders one please, could you do Johnny hcs pleases and can you make the reader gn please

johnny seeing your SH scars ( thighs, wrists )

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: 𝑝𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑙𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑚, 𝑠𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑠, 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑡 𝑓𝑖𝑐

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝑟𝑜𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑐!𝑗𝑜ℎ𝑛𝑛𝑦 𝑐𝑎𝑑𝑒 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒: 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦/𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚

{🧡}

looking back, johnny felt bad that he didn't push sooner

he only found out that one day at the Curtis's when you were in the bathroom and were pulling on a tank top to put a long sleeve shirt over that

johnny didnt knock, no one knocked.

when you jumped to face the intruder, johnny looked down to give you your modesty, put his eyes locked on the jagged lines criss crossing on your thighs

he looked up slowly, your paused movements giving him view to the faint scars on your wrist

swallowing, johnny turned on his heel and left, making sure to close the door when he left

he didn't avoid you; you were both dating and practically lived at the same house

however, he avoided the confrontation for fear of irritating you

you pulled him away from the group while darry and soda tossed the football around, two-bit occasionally jumping in to intercept the ball cleanly and take off in a sprint

"hey" you "hi :p" johnny

you asked him if he told anyone, and he gave you a questioning look

"my scars, johnnyboy. did you... tell anyone?"

he shrugs. "did you want me to?"

you almost cried tbh

you smile at him shyly. "do you want me to explain it? why aren't you asking me questions?" through your happines, there was confusion

the few people that had seen normally asked a lot of questions

but

you almost... wanted him to know

was it because you were dating? who knows!

"later? we can go pick up sodas and go hang out at the park?" johnny

you agreed, happy that he wasn't interrogating you, but not brushing you off

later, you both walked down to the park, drinks in hand

you explained (albeit shakily) why you made yourself bleed., and johnny listened

at some point, he shifted his coke to his other hand so he could link pinkies with you bc you sounded sad </////3333333

screaming and crying i need a johnny

after that night, johnny glances at you with A Look ™️, questioning if you had Done Anything

you shook your head; he was helping you forget that habit and

if you were still self harming (cutting), johnny would always clean your cuts and bandage them up without saying anything

your own battles are always the worst

and he knows that

but a whispered "i'm here" from him always makes you tear up

your beyond disappointed at yourself for possibly disappointing johnny and feeling upset that he would waste his time with you

HOWEVER

he absolutely DOES NOT think that :')

he's secretly in love with you!

anyhow,

if/when you finally stop turning to that to take out your emotions, (when ur snuggling or in private) johnny rubs his thumbs over your scars

one time, he whispered "you're so strong"

you were asleep (or were you?😏) so you didnt answer

if you decided to wear a short sleeve or let your scars show, johnny would never leave your side: he gets a lot of looks because of the marred skin on his face

darry sat you down, though, as the mother that he is

it was a simple "you don't need to do that anymore, we're always here for you, you're part of the gang" speech

it was touching, but funny

dally had to be held back whenever someone pointed or laughed or made a comment about your wrists

most likely by two, darry, and soda

mans strong when infuriated

mans hot af

WHOA WHO SAID THAT

if you do the shmexy time when ur older,

ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART.

kisses your scars, takes time to trace them with a light fingertip

he's so proud of how far you've come <3

sobbing i love him

if you were comfortable with it obviously,

if you had a pattern like # that, two would probably play tic tac toe with you i dont make the rules i dont wanna offend anyone

you were startled at first at how he looked up at you, holding the marker out to you

but now it your thing

johnny laughs whenever you beat two (which is always 50/50)

will edit later,

sorry if this is bad <3

[httpiastri]

also omg spill the tea on meeting the drivers in spa!!! (only if you want to ofc, ignore this if you don’t 🙏)

aaaaaa okay its time!!!!!! dont grill me if my opinions don't match someone else's, i tried to be as kind as i can 🙏 gonna divide this into categories bcs i met some ppl who are not currently on the f2/f3 grids aaaaa but yeah here we go 🤭

(i saw and was close to pretty much all drivers, but im only including the ones that stood out to me in certain ways here 😊 in order of their racing numbers !!)

f3 !!!

dino beganovic - okayyy soooo. this and paul's will go kinda in the same direction… like i was not surprised to see him act not like super happily lol. i understand! when around fans or just people he doesn't know too well, he was not very excited. but when he was talking to jamie (ollie's... idk what he is? manager ish?), he was that cute happy self he can be! but most of the time, it was the dino we get to see in most prema videos from this year (like the "how well do you know your teammates" one) where he's just…. idk :/ dont blame him tho, im sure he's a great guy once you get to know him!!

gabriele mini - honestly i feel like i barely saw him, except when he and his gf were leaving 😭 welp. but he seemed happy to carry around his trophy!!

arvid lindblad - saw him already on thursday and was shocked both because i couldn't believe my eyes (it's him!! he actually exists!!!!!) and bcs he was much shorter than i had anticipated 😭 sorry arvid

sami meguetounif - i didn't see him around a lot but i saw him on the friday helping his team pack up the tent (carrying big things and such), while all other drivers seemed to not really care (from what i could see)(not just trident, but all teams). respect !!!!!!

tim tramnitz - i knew he was tall but he looked even taller irl!!!! i was so shocked, i felt so tiny

ollie goethe - seemed really happy and lowkey surprised when fans wanted to take pics with him 🥺 had a terrible haircut tho lmao i felt so bad for him... but he seemed so sweet all weekend!!! rlly wish i had talked to him aaaaaa

sebastian montoya - saw him around a lot talking to all kinds of drivers, seems very social butterfly-y :) he seemed very happy after the feature, and he seemed to definitely bring up pepe's mood too because they were talking and joking around for a long time 🥺 his sister (paulina) is also even more gorgeous irl omfg i didn't even think that would be possible…. like we always talk about how amazing she looks in pics but she was so so gorgeous irl (sadly didn't get to see her interact with nikita but 💔 i'll live ig)

luke browning - saw him tons and !! why is he so handsome ?!?!?!! genuinely fell in love all over again. what even. like i keep constantly thinking back to the eye contact we shared and im just. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 seemed sweet with fans too, not super energetic but agreed to pics and such. wish i had shown him my browning bracelet or asked him to sign my sm shirt but i was too shy 💔

christian mansell - saw him get really happy when fans recognized and talked to him, i wanted to show him my mewsell bracelet but didn't have the courage 💔 but sweet and happy as usual!! no surprises there

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

f2 !!!

victor martins - actually dont think i saw him all weekend 😭 idk how i managed that

zak o'sullivan - i saw him a few times, he seemed like a bit down ?? very understandable considering how he had glandular fever ?!?!?!?!!! poor boy :( but god did he look good despite it lmao

ollie bearman - very tall and definitely very popular, always ppl waiting to take pics with him lol! didnt speak to him and wasnt very close to him either but he seemed smiley and happy :) tbh i think i saw jamie more than i saw ollie himself ?? lmao

kimi antonelli - tiny!! and the hair is so so curly!!!! he was actually cuter irl, dont understand how he can do that but yeah. also very popular, and was very happy and kind when fans wanted pics hehe

zane maloney - think this guy had like a magnet attached to me or something because i saw him everywhere all the time 😭 like even when there were no other f2 drivers left, he was there… seemed sweet, his freckles are really cute irl too :)

jak crawford - so so tall!!! and the hair looked even better irl oh my god

juan manuel correa - was a second away from asking him for an autograph but he started talking on the phone at that exact moment 😶 seemed so sweet tho!

gabriel bortoleto - aka bortolotti as the commentators said 😐 saw him chatting with a bunch of different drivers, very much a social butterfly like sebas (or is it just because he's very liked in the paddock? likely both). wanted to go up to him when he was talking to luke (they stood outside their hospitality for a long time just talking) and ask for autographs on my sm tshirt (and to tell them that i loved their appearances on the pod) but was too nervous shdjdhdj

enzo fittipaldi - he had the cutest interaction ever with his gf, i nearly melted at the sight of them 🥺 and big bro was there supporting him all weekend too which was cute lol

paul aron - the driver i think most ppl are gonna read and ignore all other drivers lol. i only saw him on the friday and… well….. i wasnt surprised because i had not expected him to be the most open and excited etc. 🤷‍♀️ like he did agree to take pics and such! he put on a little smile for the fans! but there was nothing extra, which i understand. i think we all know the kind of expression he puts on and how "neutral" he looks at most times? like, when he's not around a close friend etc then he seems a little cold. to me, i feel like it just makes his smiles much more valuable in some way!! he wasnt very smiley even with karl or ralf, ig maybe he was focused on qualifying, but he didnt give anything extra and i dont blame him for that. still owns my heart !!!! <33 and i think that the difference from dino is that he seemed more focused and more ig neutral than cold like dino. paul didnt seem neither happy nor mad etc, just blank. 😌 (but god did he look SO GOOD, his hair was so light and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest istg. he looked so so good that i was too shy to even look too much at him 😭)

is*ck h*djar - pls i dont wanna say what i actually think but. his mom was so sweet 😭 my dad (who, for context, does hobby photography) held his camera aimed to the campos truck door in case pepe would come out, but she came out instead and like apologized and stuff for being in the way? so cute :((

pepe marti - 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 how do i even begin to describe him? when there aren't enough words in the entire world? the most gentle and sweet person ever actually, he seemed so tired and just done with the weekend when i talked to him but he still made time for me and tried to stay optimistic. sweetest boy ever <33333333 (i actually still cant really believe i met him and talked to him. like my brain still short-circuits a bit when i think about it. he was just truly an angel and i miss him so much <//3 i also cried a ton after that lol but he didn't see it so that's okay)(also his hands look even bigger irl 😁 sorry gtg)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

former drivers/others !!!

fred vesti - like 10 minutes after the gp had finished, i just happened to accidentally run into him? like he was just heading out of the gate i was going into and so i stopped and gasped and just!!!!! and no one around me even looked at him (we were walking around general admission yk, just a big crowd all heading out on the track) which made me really sad but it was so cool to see him irl!!! he was taller than i had expected awww and so pretty

ralf aron - the only sentence that's still swirling around in my head: "is it possible to fall in love at first sight if you're already a fan?"....... because i think i fell in love 🫠🫠 when i tell you he was gorgeous, i mean it on a NEW LEVEL. like im obsessed. i was obsessed before but now im obsessed^2. actually insane. and he has the exact same voice as paul omg i would not be able to tell them apart irl. i love him so much, please help

adrian campos (jr) - sorry for including two team principals but 😭 idk where i get my shyness and social anxiety from because my dad has some kind of talent with people. he talks to everyone and everyone like him ??? anyways so he just randomly went up to the campos team principal and asked about pepe and they had a short but very friendly discussion 😭 and then he even came up to my dad later for new pepe updates lmao so he was a really sweet guy!!!

rene rosin - i didnt speak to him, saw him around a lot tho, but pt 2 of "my dad collecting team principals"…. my dad went to the f3 paddock and came back to tell me that he talked to "some prema dude" about dino's car… the convo went my dad: "is dino's car perfect now?". prema dude: "perfect for what?!". dad: "perfect for winning, of course!". prema dude: "yes, of course!!" and they had laughed and joked around and what not. i thought it was a funny interaction but didnt think more about that. until a while later, my dad pointed at rene and went "there's my friend from before!!" and i just ?!? you asked RENE if dino's car was good????? so yeah thumbs up to rene for being a funny dude 😁

sacha fouquet - sorry for including this but he also looked very good irl 😶 alsoooo like when i was hurrying to the f3 feature (i was running very late and wanted to be there for the start), i had to go under this tunnel to get from the paddock to the grandstands?? like a pretty narrow tunnel, only like 2-3 ppl width... and guess tho were heading to the paddock right when i was rushing away? all of the prema performance/race engineers! lovely timing! because they're all so so cool and made me so so so nervous 😭 (and the way i was just having to pretend like i haven't seen them all in 100 vids and even made gifs of them lmao what)

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎

gold star to anyone who made it this far ⭐️ sorry for the random yapping lol and for saying everyone looked better irl but it is true!!!! this isnt proofread so i apologize for any mistakes etc, pls feel free to ask if anyone has any questions... <3<3

[princessbrunette]

ok warning: this is going to be long, so feel free to skip it but i had to get this thought down: i am constantly thinking about being sarahs best friend and being into rafe. i mean, lets be real, if you friends with sarah, of course youd have a little crush on her hot, older brother. your probably a kook, your parents are friends with the camerons, so youve know sarah and rafe since you were a kid. you and sarah immediately hit it off, but rafe was always sort of a mystery to you, especially as you got older. he became more distant, more broody, a bit more mean. didnt show up as much to family dinners, didnt want to play dolls or games in the pool with you and sarah. you were a little sad, especially since you had a little crush on him, but it was ok, at least it wasnt sarah that was drifting away. as you got older, you saw less and less of rafe, just passing greetings and nods in each other directions. you remained a little biased towards him, saving a little soft spot in your heart for your childhood crush, but knew it was silly and useless. you basically went no contact when he went off to college, only seeing him at events and holidays. but, when the summer before your senior year approached, everything shifted. im not sure when he started thinking of you differently, when he stopped seeing you as sarahs annoying little friend. maybe when he saw how much you grew in a matter of months when he came back home for the camerons famous christmas party, his freshman year at college. he didnt know what it was, maybe all the wine he had drinken that night, maybe how the weather had gotten cold, maybe the suffocating air filled with obnoxious rich people, but the way that white, lacy dress hugged your curves, the way that fluffy little cardigan hung on my one button on you chest, he was obsessed. he was disappointed to overhear that you had gotten yourself a boyfriend, but not surprised with the way you had matured. when he went back for his second semester, you were constantly on his mind. seriously, when had you grown up so much? i mean, you had never been ugly, but shit. he thought of how you shouldent be wasting time with stupid high school boys, how they would most certainly not treat you right, not like he could. he knew they wouldnt be able to touch you he could, to make you scream like he could. he honestly felt a little perverted for thinking that way, given that you two practically grew up together, but he couldn't help it. he tried burying himself in mindless sorority girls to forget his newfound infatuation, but he definitely couldn't. in fact, i bet he imagined those girls were you, even accidentally calling them your name sometimes. so when ward offered that he could come home for the summer, rafe said yes with no hesitation. it was practically too easy, the way you walked around the house in a little bikini. all he had to do was give you a little look, his eyes glancing up and down with his trademark smirk, and he had you right where he wanted. you felt bad at first, since you were doing it behind sarahs back, but come on, were you really going to give up the opportunity with the guys whos always owned your heart? of course not, you told yourself. sarah would just have to understand, not that you would tell her anytime soon of course. but she was bound to find out, espcially with the way you and rafe were slowly getting less and less inconspicuous with your sneaking around. i mean, come on, fucking in the hot tub on the patio during his parents infamous 4th of july party is definelty not the way to go unheard of. and trust me, theres a lot more where that came from.

HELLO NOT U WRITING A WHOLE DRABBLE IN MY INBOX HEHEHHE this was so good u should write a fic on this😵‍💫

ugh but this concept is so juicy bc like….. the secrecy, betraying ur bestie by sleeping w her brother…. finally being seen by him in that way….. mhm i love it

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[dnpbeats]

I just saw a video from 7 years ago and of this guy just talking about youtube events and which youtbers he knows well personally etc. Someone asked him about dan and phil and he mentioned that he actually went to university with phil, he was just in the year below him, but he doesnt know them too well now, he’ll just see them around every now and then. Anyway its so funny to me how every single person who isnt one of the 4 main online people dnp are friends with all have the same response when asked what dnp are like in real life. “They’re nice, but they just tend to keep to themselves so I dont know them that well.” That tracks. Dan and phil like to lie to us about things, but I think their introvertedness is exactly as bad as they say it is. I beleive 100% they met each other in 2009, went “your my person now” and never felt the need to make another social connection ever again that didnt happen naturally or accidentally.

lol was the youtuber jimmy hill 💀💀 anyway yeah I agree! Like obviously they exaggerate a bit—they do have other friends and they do go outside. But yeah, for sure i think on a daily basis they are content to just hang around with each other. It’s also kinda funny bc from the way they talk, I think Phil is more introverted than dan (phil is the one who talks about wanting to leave parties early, iirc Dan recently said he needs to get out and do something every couple of weeks) but all their “main” friends we see them hanging out with are Phil’s pre-dan friends that dan then became friends with 😂 like I’m sure they have other friends we just don’t know about bc they aren’t in the public eye, but the ones we do know about are like Phil’s friends from 2008 lmao. Anyway that’s to say, for a variety of reasons including being introverts I think they keep their bubble pretty small

[burnedwriter]

‘’i will show you the difference between me and the military’’

warnings:!afab reader,rough bj,eating out,making out,floor s*x,mild bondage,cursing,teasing,edging,blindfolded,enemies to lovers,subtle flirting,knifeplay?,fingering,petnames,mild interrogation.

backstory:the reader and philip hate eachother due to some things that happened in the past,but what will happen now that they finally meet face to face after the incident

A/n:had to censor some words bc i dont want my fic to get community labeled again,im not responsible for what people read.

'‘dont fucking touch me!’‘ you yelled at the guard pushing you.

‘‘then move’‘one of the guards yelled back at you,continuing pushing you with brute force.

You hear what seem to be a door opening as you are getting dragged into the room,the guards forcing you to sit on the chair,removing the bag that was keeping you blindfolded,you saw one of the guards tie your hands behind you while the other one tied your legs on the legs of the chair,before both of them exited the room,leaving you alone in the small room,you were able to to take a look around trying to find a way to escape

When suddenly you see the door swing open and to your unpleasant suprise there he was commander philip graves.

‘‘hello sweetheart’‘ he said with a sly smile on his face.

You felt your body get taken over by anger,you hated his guts with a burning passion,his fake charm that made millions fall for,even your superiors fell for it,you had a bad feeling from the start that something like this was going to happen from the start but it was already too late,when you realized his betrayal

‘‘so you are choosing to stay silent’‘he said pressing his lips together in frustration

‘‘i see how its going to be’‘

he moved closer to you now standing infront of you,before reaching for his knife that was resing inside the holster,pulling it out and toying with it giving you small threatening hints. he was good with his hands you stared at them when he played with the blade,making you wandered how his finger will feel inside of you,sadly you got rudly awakened from your little daydream by the cold blade on touching your neck,while you were caught up  on your daydreaming you didnt notice that he changed his position.

‘‘if you dont start talking right now, i will show you the difference between me and the military’‘pressing the knife against the tender skin of your neck,threatening you to talk

‘‘fuck you graves,im not telling you shit,not after what you did and do you really think a knife is going to scare me ’‘you spat out,taking some glimpses of his face from behind you from time to time

he was an attractive man you couldnt lie to yourself that you fantasized about him fucking you mercilessly before,afterall you had to worked together for a long time before he betrayed you.It wasnt the first time you eyed him like that

‘‘dont let me do this sweetheart, i dont want to kill you’‘ his voice low and raspy,did he really felt bad about hurting you,did he really hate you? or did he actually like the little game you two had going,all those question circling around your mind but they were quickly answered when he capped your face turning it to the right as he connecting his soft lips with yours,while still keeping the knife with his left hand showing you who is in charge.

The kiss depend between the two of you turning into a small make out session as a small warm feeling started to grow in your lower abdoment,leaving you wanting more,but removing his lips abraptly from yours to catch your breaths,moving in front of you,you could visibly see that you werent the only one that got excited ,his hard cock showing through his cargo pants,his size making you lick your lips.

‘‘you see what are you doing to me’‘he purred without breaking eye contact with you,as he started to unbuckle his belt,freeing his cock.

‘’you know what to do ‘’Slapping your cheek with his cock,you pressed your lips on the head of his cock as you slowly started taking him deeper into your mouth making you gag a bit

‘‘hmmm’‘ he let out a low groan at the warm sensation of your mouth,as you started to slowly bop your head back and forth,looking up at graves.

Trying to tease him a little bit you swirling your tongue at the head of his cock,making him jolt his hips.Getting impatient from your painfully slow pace his hand snaked at the back of your head,making the pace to a faster one,now fully facefucking you.Your eyes started to tear as you chocked on his cock,afterawhile you started to feel him getting close to his argasm as his cock throbed in your mouth but before he could finish,he pulled you away,denying his own orgasm,you tried to catch your breath,whilst putting himself back in his pants for the moment.

‘‘i didnt know you liked it rough’‘he remarked,looking down at your pants he could see a wet spot that has formed.

‘‘ think i should leave you like this’‘he teased

‘‘graves please’‘you begged desperetly

‘‘fine...but if i see you doing anything stupid i wont hesitate to kill you’‘he said cutting the ropes,freeing you from the restrains and putting the knife back to the holter

You moved yourself closer to the edge of the chair and unbuckled your own pants,you lifted your hips so he could help you slide them off completly,he wrapped his arms around your hips as you place your legs over his shoulder to balance yourself,with him between your legs you felt his hot breath against your cunt teasing you giving, you a taste of your own medicine.

‘‘come on philip~’‘ you whined

‘‘what happened i thought you like teasing’‘he said poking fun at your begging.

Finally placing his tongue on your clit,he drew slow circle around it,teasing you more

‘‘philip~’‘begging him to stop his teasing

‘‘whatever you say sweetheart’‘

He moved his tongue up and down ,from your hole to your clit,sending goosebumbs down your spine

‘‘ah~’‘biting your lip not wanting him to hear your moans

‘‘dont hide your pretty voice away from me’‘

Picking up your juices with his middle finger and slowly inserting it inside you,you jolted forward feeling your walls being parted as you desperatly grippping the head of the chair. inserting another one,he started fingering you at a slow and steady pace to later becoming a faster and rougher one

‘‘Ah~ngh~’‘you moan unable to contain yourself anymore from the pleasure he was giving you

‘‘thats what i like to hear’‘philip cooed,sucking on your neglected clit,while his fingers never slowing down,you felt yourself closer and closer to your climax but before you could finish,philip removed his mouth away from your cunt,edging you

‘‘f-fuck~’‘you groaned in frustration

‘‘you didnt think i will let you finish this quickly,did you,sweetheart’‘he taunted,wiping his chin

‘‘lay down on the floor for me ,sadly our clothes will have to do for now’‘he commanded both of you placing your clothes on the floor trying to make a makeshift bedding so you could lay down.

Getting on top of you,he started to rub the tip of his cock on your cunt coating it with your wetness before entering you with one slow thrust all at once,making your back arch in the sensation.He waited for you to get adjusted to his size before starting to roll his hips in a lazy pace

‘‘stop teasing me already for fuck sake’‘you hissed and with that,he changed his lazy pace to a brutal one at your complain,mercilessly fucking your hole

‘‘i wanted to fuck you for so long,ever since i saw you’’he panted, mercilessly fucking your hole

‘‘bet you would’‘you breathed out

Both of you chasing your climax,the room was filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping,you hope that there werent any guards outside unfortunate enough to hear them

‘‘Philip~i-im close,d-dont you dare e-dge me’‘ you pleaded,with the last bit of breath you had not wanting him to edge you once again

‘‘come on baby come on’‘he praised,as he fucked into you

one last thrust and your walls flattered around his cock,cumming all over him

Trying to catch your breathes Gravespulled out of you and helped you get up from the ground as the two of you started to get dressed

‘‘I didnt know you liked me to the point were you wanted fuck me,i thought you hated my guts as much as i did your’‘you commented with a smirk

‘‘i guess afterall,it was bound to happen’‘he replied

‘‘but dont think that i will be easy on you,you are in my base now’‘it sounded like a promise more than a threat but until then only time will tell

[dancinginmydressinthesun]

MY ERAS TOUR CONCERTS - GELSENKIRCHEN N1 AND N2 (chaotic version)

Gelsenkirchen (or should I say Swiftkirchen) put so so much effort in those three days that Taylor was there, it was insane!! Renaming the city, creating "Taylor Town" and parties and fun stuff everywhere, it was really great. Since it is the most unknown city on the whole Eras Tour (and believe me, I live nearby, it's pretty ugly usually), it needed to shine a light on the city, especially given that everyone would want to come to Hamburg or Munich (or Berlin or Cologne if she had included those), but no one ever wants to come here. I was so amazed by all of it and I cannot fathom that all of my dreams just came true, it was all a fever dream, it felt like heaven and I didnt think I would ever be able to experience something like that.

N1: I was so so excited, all was perfect (almost)!! The atmosphere was really wonderful in front and inside the stadium, I traded my bracelets, people were there from all over the world. I went with a friend and a friend of a friend and I loved it. I cried when my tickets were scanned and they let me in and when I saw the Stadium from the inside (i didnt cry when I saw Taylor although I was convinced before I would, I think I had nothing left inside me anymore because of all the adrenaline before haha) Paramore was really really good!!! The seats were okay, I was a little irritated that there was a pole (idk what its called) that was a little bit blocking my view of the middle stage, you can see it in the video. It was so so good tho, I lvoed when Kam said "Kannste knicken" i died!! I also loved that Taylor acknowledged the paper hearts but I am so so mad bc i forgot them!!!! I had them all printed out and it feels so bad that I was not one of those people holding them up even tho I could have... It really still makes me so mad, I dont wanna think about it anymore.... anyway..... I was so happy being the first one to listen to Superstar on the Eras Tour, a few people around me definitely didnt know the song and it made me jump and scream even more, everything hurted that day, my feet hurt my lower back but I stood and jumped during the entire thing except for the transitions!!1 I was also dancing so dramatically and it must have looked so embarrassing but idc, it was all worth it!! I loved the face she made on Midnight rain btw

N2: Boy N2 was so much more relaxed, I wasnt that scared that anything could go wrong anymore, I could sleep better, my feet and back didnt hurt nearly as much anymore (but they still did haha). I once again had the best time (although I didnt like the girl sitting next to me AT ALL but anyway), the seat was so much better this time yay, I LOVED THE 22 HAT GIRL, MAYBE MY FAVOURITE THING OVERALL, I cried for this little baby :'). I loved the face she made on midnight rain again so much, SHE SANG THIS IS ME TRYING!!!!! I COULDNT STAND ANYMORE WHEN SHE STARTED SINGING IT, I HAD TO BE ON MY KNEES FOR A QUICK MOMENT, I loved Hey Stephen sm as well, expecially because people once again were not happy about it around me and I was so so furious, i mean BUT WOULD THEY WRITE A SONG FOR YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I jumped, one time I almost jumped so high that I thought I would fall over the seat right in front of me and crash the girl before me, thankfully I didnt hahahha

N3 in Taylor Town, Swiftkirchen: It was so so nice being there, I got merch, I ate Swiftcream, we danced to her songs (the dj even played Crazier!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), took pictures with all of her albums, and then I went to one of my friends houses and we watched the livestream and BOY I was devastated when she played Better Man and I WAS NOT THERE. I really got a little sad but I dont think I would have even survived another concert right the next day, idk if I am old but I was definitely feeling the toll those 2 days took on my body but it was so so worth it tho!!!

Today I am just happy about the Gelsenkirchen post on her Insta and tomorrow I will pack my suitcase for Hamburg N1 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[qingxintea]

the stars intertwine *ੈ✩‧₊˚

genshin impact

headcanons — aether, xiao, scaramouche

when you tell them you feel alone

AETHER ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

immediately, aether seemed to pick up on your mood. usually he wasn’t very exposed to you feeling down as you kept onto an upbeat show even if it didnt correspond to how you were truly feeling.

deeming the fact that you let it show this time to a point where he could genuinely pick it up, he determined it must’ve reached a bad point. he asked you about it.

“y/n? im sorry if this sounds weird— i just think that you seem a little down today. are you okay?”

he looked at you with the utmost concern and it almost pushed you into crying more. kinda like trying to not cry at school but someone asks “are you okay?” and u cry fr

“yeah— sorry,” you immediately apologize, feeling bad that you made him worry.

“nono, please don’t apologize; just tell me what’s wrong if thats okay,” he smiles gently and takes your hands

you stare intently for some seconds and then take a deep breath. “i just feel a little lonely.”

silence sits for a second but you could feel his hands tense a bit around yours.

finally, he speaks (:

“i’m sorry if i failed you accompany you today,” he blurts out in a rush, feeling responsible for your mood. “d-“

“what? no, aether,” you shake your head, “this is not your fault at all. its just one of those days. thats all.” you smile in reassurance.

he sighs gladly knowing that he was not involved in the issue. he knows about days where you simply just felt down— he had them all the time when he was finding his sister ):

he caresses your face and comes to a conclusion.

“then lets be alone together.”

skips his commissions and takes sick leave and spends the rest of the day never leaving your side

you tell him all about your week!

“work at liyue qixing is very busy this week, we had a lot of broken architect and paranormal cases as of lately. ganyu and keqing always work so hard so i took these extra cases for them.”

“i spent more energy than usual and spent less time talking to people i love, talking to you. everytime i return from work, i just sort of collapse.”

aether chimes in, “y/n, you’re so sweet to everyone. from now on i will rest with you when you return.”

and he does! aether always keeps his word to you— you really are thankful for him.

he even goes out of his way to solve cases and fix things for you while you’re sleeping and you never notice him sneaking out. he talks to little ming and asks her if she knows anything behind the cases, fixes broken stairs and elevators, and ultimately asking keqing and ganyu to look out of you as you’ve been passing out lately.

he even crocheted you a little aether plushie to hold whenever he’s not around! so you’ll always have a piece of him with you (:

on the weekly, he gets you flowers. this week he got you a bouquet of cecilias so you don’t suspect he’s been working in liyue for you

the next week, when you tell him that your workload in liyue has been elevated, he is extremely glad that his work paid off. of course, he never tells you anything though

cutie fr

XIAO ·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳

xiao cant really verbally address feelings well and you know this. so initially you avoid telling him in general.

but he’s not oblivious to it— even though you don’t tell him, he can sense it. like that one time you made an extremely outrageous deal with a witch to take on his karmic debt and almost died LOL crazy

you also don’t tell him bc yk he’s lived for so many years longer than u that he’s lost so many people, probably more lonely than u

he can sense it through some of your usual offerings too! your cooking is corresponding to your mood and the almond tofu recently has been a bit bitter compared to your previous. its not that it tastes bad, it aroused concern.

he is scared to address it because he thinks he will be extremely awkward or insensitive. instead, he comforts you through acts of service and gift giving.

he picks up qingxin flowers for you and ties it with a vibrant red silk ribbon and leaves it on your doorstep. also gets u a green good luck amulet

now u have it on your nightstand and it helps u sleep better, the good luck amulet is always warn next to your vision YAY

he notices an improvement in your mood but it’s not to its original state.

eventually, he appears the next time you offer something and the two of you sit in comfortable silence until you break it.

“i’m sorry my offerings have been of lower quality recently. i am not feeling well and it shows through my work,” you apologize profusely. you think that him staying with you is a sign that he’s waiting for you to say something about recent troubles bc u always overthink LMAO

“don’t say sorry for something so minuscule,” he immediately responds but has no idea what to say after that.

but there is no need to add on because you know him so well. you know that when he says that it means he is more concerned about your well being than what you produce.

you nod slightly and the conversation ends there. he probably already realizes that you’ve been feeling lonely because you’ve been lacking in social energy this whole week due to your excessive work.

he stays with you for awhile and never gets up to get milk from the fridge or anything which is great

lowkey threatens your coworkers to keep an eye on you LMAOO so silly

SCARAMOUCHE ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ

mention of medications and more sweating LMFAO

lowkey u just expect this guy to not care at all bc he’s emotionally constipated

BUT HE DOES HE JUST DOESNT SHOW IT BC HES SCARED HIS COWORKERS MIGHT MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR SHOWING EMOTION

so when he addresses it he makes sure ur in a completely ISOLATED SPACE so NO ONE FUCKING SPIES !!

“oookay, what the fuck is wrong with you y/n, have you not been taking your meds for the past month??”

LMAO he says it downright with no sugarcoat because he wants to get straight to the point

you get taken aback a bit bc it’s such a funny question

“no bitch i just feel like SHIT TODAY because im LONELY AND SINGLE 😭😭😭😭” you counter

“hoe, you are NOT SINGLE WE R LITERALLY DATING STUPID ASS”

“oh i forgot”

“r u fr.”

he brings u ur meds in like 2 pound crates and ur like “wtf”

he says it’s to compromise for your lack of meds the past month

“DUDE IVE BEEN TAKING THEM TODAYS JUST A CRAPPY DAY LMAO AND THATNIS NOT HOW IT WORKS????”

“??,??!!” he is so done HAHAHA “anyway why r u lonely wtf did tartar sauce say something mean to you AGAIN”

you laugh “ACTUALLY YEAH LOL HE WAS LIKE ‘at least i have a little brother’ AS A JOKE CUZ HE DOESNT KNOW THAT MINE WENT KABOOM 😵😵”

“BITCH U GOTTA TELL HIM SOON”

“SHUT UP”

the two of u end up playing super smash bros and u keep spamming villager rocket bc that’s ur favorite move and eventually u k.o. him with it even though he saw it coming, he forgot how to jump LMAO

he claims that he did that on purpose to make you feel better but u think he’s bs-ing because he’s a sore loser and embarrassed he lost by not dodging a whole ROCKET

“UNFAIR”

“LOSER”

eventually becomes a very heated roasting session because u two are the most toxic couple in all of teyvat that ur literally perfect for each other LMAO

“how does it feel to look 12 and 57 at the same time??? I BET U GET ID CHECKED AT 7LEAVES LMAO”

“PEOPLE ONLY NOTICE U WHEN U BECOME A PROBLEM”

“U LOOK LIKE A PURPLE BLOOD CLOT”

“COVID SWIPED LEFT ON YOU. FUCKING COVID”

“THE ONLY REASON YOU HAVENT DIED YET IS BC THE ARCHONS SAID ‘FUCK NO LEAVE HIM BACK ON TEYVAT OH MY GOD’”

no lonely anymore bc ur evil !

later when u don’t know he beats up childe for what he said LMAO “ARE U STUPID DONT BRING Y/N’S CRAPPY CRUMBLED FAMILY INTO ANYTHING” and childe never does it again

happy ending !

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

QINGXINTEA ONE YEAR RESSURECTION SO REAL

LIVE LAUGH AETHER

[im-smart-i-swear]

tfw youre trying to reconsile with your estranged '''''twin''''''' after months of avoiding each other (their fault)(they were a dick to you)(and shot you) but they just cant stop making it weird & about how theyre a terrible person

i think these twos relationship is very interesting. at the begenning buddy treated kuro like shit bc they were projecting their self-hate and guilt on him, also exasparated by them being technically twins. later kuro moved out bc of that and the two of them didnt see each other again for months.

when they met again buddy apologised but they didnt really form any deep relationship. they are both uncomfortable with each others presence due to how their relationship started & the imposed familial status that neither of them feels good about.

buddy feels guilty for how they treated kuro, they are also aware that this is just another failure in a long line of their failures. they know they fucked up, theyre used to that feeling at this point, and they simply accept that fact. theyre sorta weirdly apathetic about the whole thing when meeting kuro again - they made peace with what theyve done wrong and are just trying to do damage control atp.

basically they said 'i know what i did to you was fucked up and im sorry. i have a history of fucking things up and i did it again. im trying to be better and i fail time and time again but i will try again anyway, even if theres a huge possibility ill just mess up again. im trying to set things right and ill disappear from your life if thats what you want. you dont have to forgive me or like me. im sorry' (<-also notice how this apology is still sorta centered around how bad of a person bud is and not what they put kuro through. buds self-loathing is still shining through here even as they are trying to set things straight. in their effort to try and explain their thought process they accidentally focused on the wrong thing!!!! they dont really mean it that way but to kuro thats what it comes off as)

kuro used to hate or at least heavily dislike bud for a long time and thinks theyre a self centered asshole and also just plainly annoying. even the apology he got from them after months of radio silence on both ends didnt feel like enough to him. it felt like buddy was just using the apology as an opportunity to say 'im a bad person. sorry for that lol it will propably happen again, do with this info what you will'. it pisses him off a bit and he propably yells at buddy for it, who is very apologetic and just takes it, which just pisses kuro even more bc he WANTS a confrontation, hes angry and hurt and is airing out his frustrations at bud and he wants a reaction but he gets none. buddy knows very well what they did and are treating this as a sort of righteus punishment

so overall. i think their relationship is just kinda like this for a few years - long periods of avoiding each other interspersed with a few outbursts (sometimes kuro starts and sometimes bud does). after a few more years i feel like things might start being better, but thats only bc they both gradually grow as people sepeartely, which just has the side effect of making them both more chill. maaaaybe after a decade or two the animosity stops and they become friendly with each other but i dont rlly think they ever get to Twin Level Closeness. at that point both of them have their own fullfilling lives and are fine with things as they are

...or maybe not. idk man im still working shit out so this might all change and in a few months this whole rant will be ooc and innacurate, who knows! i certainly dont

(Also the doodle at the top isn't meant to portray The Apology itself, its just a little scene i thought was neat, dunno where exactly it (or if it even) falls on Da Timeline)