#also for some reason bud came out rlly scrawny here lol. whoops!

[im-smart-i-swear]

tfw youre trying to reconsile with your estranged '''''twin''''''' after months of avoiding each other (their fault)(they were a dick to you)(and shot you) but they just cant stop making it weird & about how theyre a terrible person

i think these twos relationship is very interesting. at the begenning buddy treated kuro like shit bc they were projecting their self-hate and guilt on him, also exasparated by them being technically twins. later kuro moved out bc of that and the two of them didnt see each other again for months.

when they met again buddy apologised but they didnt really form any deep relationship. they are both uncomfortable with each others presence due to how their relationship started & the imposed familial status that neither of them feels good about.

buddy feels guilty for how they treated kuro, they are also aware that this is just another failure in a long line of their failures. they know they fucked up, theyre used to that feeling at this point, and they simply accept that fact. theyre sorta weirdly apathetic about the whole thing when meeting kuro again - they made peace with what theyve done wrong and are just trying to do damage control atp.

basically they said 'i know what i did to you was fucked up and im sorry. i have a history of fucking things up and i did it again. im trying to be better and i fail time and time again but i will try again anyway, even if theres a huge possibility ill just mess up again. im trying to set things right and ill disappear from your life if thats what you want. you dont have to forgive me or like me. im sorry' (<-also notice how this apology is still sorta centered around how bad of a person bud is and not what they put kuro through. buds self-loathing is still shining through here even as they are trying to set things straight. in their effort to try and explain their thought process they accidentally focused on the wrong thing!!!! they dont really mean it that way but to kuro thats what it comes off as)

kuro used to hate or at least heavily dislike bud for a long time and thinks theyre a self centered asshole and also just plainly annoying. even the apology he got from them after months of radio silence on both ends didnt feel like enough to him. it felt like buddy was just using the apology as an opportunity to say 'im a bad person. sorry for that lol it will propably happen again, do with this info what you will'. it pisses him off a bit and he propably yells at buddy for it, who is very apologetic and just takes it, which just pisses kuro even more bc he WANTS a confrontation, hes angry and hurt and is airing out his frustrations at bud and he wants a reaction but he gets none. buddy knows very well what they did and are treating this as a sort of righteus punishment

so overall. i think their relationship is just kinda like this for a few years - long periods of avoiding each other interspersed with a few outbursts (sometimes kuro starts and sometimes bud does). after a few more years i feel like things might start being better, but thats only bc they both gradually grow as people sepeartely, which just has the side effect of making them both more chill. maaaaybe after a decade or two the animosity stops and they become friendly with each other but i dont rlly think they ever get to Twin Level Closeness. at that point both of them have their own fullfilling lives and are fine with things as they are

...or maybe not. idk man im still working shit out so this might all change and in a few months this whole rant will be ooc and innacurate, who knows! i certainly dont

(Also the doodle at the top isn't meant to portray The Apology itself, its just a little scene i thought was neat, dunno where exactly it (or if it even) falls on Da Timeline)