#but then i decided i didnt want to do that

[amsznn]

can you do dad matt and chris's different reactions to their daughter getting her first period while her mom wasn't home 😭😂 (i also really love your writing your amazing 💗🫂)

GROWING UP - c. and m. sturniolo

chris:

chris’ afternoon had been going smoothly. he lightly plopped onto the living room couch, ready to relax for the next couple of hours.

you had left to work on some brand deals with your team, leaving him to tend with your two daughters.

luckily for him your youngest had dance practice so he would only have to pick her up in a couple of hours. And your eldest was in her room, finishing up her homework.

everything had been normal when she came home. she greeted chris as per usual and rambled on about her day, which chris always listened intently to. then she finished the snack chris had prepared for her before she came home. Finally she thanked her dad and went to her room.

so imagine chris’ confusion as to when he heard blood curdling screams coming from his daughter’s room.

mid movie, chris jumped up and ran upstairs. of course he didnt want to barge in so he hurriedly knocked.

“honey? you okay?” he asked with worry. he could hear the light sobs of your daughter through the door and swung it open.

“dad, can you call mom?” your daughter asked through broken sobs. chris of course whipped out his phone and without a thought dialed your number.

as he approached further he could see the light patch of blood on the girls bed and put two and two together.

chris was still trying to find the right words to comfort his daughter and unfortunately you weren’t answering.

“hey, theres no need to cry, here.” chris said has he jumbled up the sheets and placed them in the laundry basket.

“your mom told you all about this before right?” he asked as she nodded. “so why dont you go clean up and ill get of some ice cream?” your daughter wiped away her tears and smiled.

chris gave her a light peck on the head and went to go wash the sheets.

in the end your daughter calmed down with the help of your husband (and ice cream), and you were in for a story when you came back home.

matt:

matt’s experience was similar to chris’, except his daughter was way more calm about it.

it was just a regular weekend afternoon and you had gone to brunch with your friends, leaving matt and your daughter at the house.

matt and your daughter had decided to spend some time together. playing board games, eating food they baked, and watching some movies.

it was on their second movie when your daughter had gotten up to use the bathroom. matt had taken this opportunity to send you a few texts since your daughter had a strict ‘no phones when watching movies’ rules. he stopped texting when he heard a faint

“daaad..”

“yes..?” he answered a bit confused. but he got up anyways and made his way towards the bathroom

“do you know where mom keeps the pads?” his daughter asked and honestly, it took him a minute to process what was happening. of course he didnt want to freak her out even more.

“uh- yeah, theyre in the bin on the rack.” he said with a cough, dialing your number in the process. lets just say, you were speeding home to give your daughter some emotional support.

-

a/n: sorry for any requests that havent been submitted, im gonna go through all them pretty soon once i have the time!

[whilomm]

and you know that theyre gonna blame leftists for the election once a fucking gain

not all the people who "dont reallt care about politics", didnt vote, that are gonna wake up tomorrow and just get confused, "huh, trump won? weird. thought people hated him" and move on their day

not the idiots who heard trump talking about lowering groceries and gas prices and genuinely thought "well, I want lower gas prices and groceries" and voted for it

not the dems for STILL running the fucking "playing all the sides" campaign, not the dems for taking so long to realize how unpopular biden is even among those who dont pay attention to jack shit ("hes old... grocery prices...gas prices..."), not the dems for continuing the condescending bullshit, not the dems for still refusing to give jack shit to the muslim americans who felt fucking betrayed and feel like its "damned if we do, damned if we dont"

not the longstanding american tradition of massive voter disenfranchisement that makes voting impossible for some, and juuusssttt inconvenient enough for others that they end up not voting (like my coworkers who didnt even REALIZE they needed to register to vote and it was too late)

no, none of those things, its the tiny ass contingent of leftists who were still deciding to not vote at all post biden dropout, and we're gonna spend the next 4 years hearing about it just like everyone blamed bernie bros for 2016 (despite literally more people flipping from bernie to hillary than flipped from hillary to obama in 2012)

[maybanksprincess]

isnt the same without you.

warnings: comforting, fluff, insecurity, a little bit of blood.

summary: jj goes to a party without reader for the first time, and when jjs phone dies, she starts to overthink. (based off this ask, thank you anon!)

a/n: this is sort of short because its just a blurb, but i really love this request, its so cute!

pairings: insecure!reader x soft!bf!jj

you weren't feeling up to this big party that everyone was attending tonight. unfortunately, you and jj were planning to go for a few weeks now, and since you didn't wanna go, you didn't wanna stop him from attending it as well.

he insisted that he would stay home and look after you, he offered to buy you snacks and even watch those cheesy romcoms that he absolutely despises, but he tolerates them because you love them.

but you assured him it was okay, and he can go even if it made you feel a little uneasy.

you had never done well with being away from jj for long periods of time, let alone him going to a party without you. but you told yourself to 'grow up' and 'stop being a baby' about it. you needed to get a grip.

you decide to text him about an hour in, just to make sure he was safe, and then you promised yourself you would stop bothering him after that.

imessage:

11:01 pm: hey jay! im just checking in to make sure your okay, i dont wanna bother you or anything so im gonna let you have fun! bye i love you <3

-

you chew your nails, anxiously waiting on a response from your boyfriend.

about five minutes went by, and you were constantly picking up your phone, swiping up for any sign that he had read the text or responded. but there was nothing.

you waited another ten minutes, then got back to anxiously checking it again, still nothing. delivered.

you told yourself your being dramatic, and went to occupy yourself with doing the dishes, and sweeping the kitchen floor. by the time you had gotten back to your room about fifteen minutes later, there was still nothing.

you toss your phone down onto the bed, feeling frustrated but also upset at the same time. had he been hooking up with another girl? is he drinking too much? what if hes talking to someone else?

all these thoughts cloud your mind, and you find yourself biting down on the skin beside your nail bed. as your chewing away at your skin, your phone dings unexpectedly, causing you to jump a bit, tearing a piece of your skin off. (ouch.)

the sting of the bare skin makes your eyes water a little, a bead of blood trickling down your finger. "ow." you mumble, before picking up your phone and looking at whoever texted you.

it was jj. all your pain was instantly forgotten the moment you seen his text on your screen.

imessage

jayj🤍: "hey beautiful, im sorry i didnt text you back. i forgot my charger like a dumbass. but im at home now, and i didnt have fun. it was boring as shit without u baby."

you instantly reply to his message after reading it, your heart no longer feels like its carrying a weight anymore.

you: "thank you for texting, i was worried sick baby...i literally hurt my finger trying to answer the phone. I thought you might've been cheated on me or something."

you send that text with a underlying hint of insecurity in it, hoping he wont just brush you off. your in need of some reassurance from him right now.

jayj🤍: "baby you hurt your finger?!! and what do u mean 'cheat on you'? thats not even possible for me mama."

the next text eases your worries a bit, but you wanted to get everything off your chest.

you: "i just hate being without you for a long period of time, i wish i would've let you stay in with me tonight, but i know how excited you were for the party."

jayj🤍: "oh baby, no. parties are not the same without you. i would never cheat on you, im sorry if i made you feel that way, but that isn't me. you know your stuck with me forever mama, whether you like it or not."

now all your worries and insecurities are instantly gone, touched by your boyfriend's loyalty to you.

after you let yourself think for a moment, you remember the minor injury you caused yourself a few minutes back and wince slightly at the sting.

as if exactly on cue, jj double texts you.

jayj🤍: "oh and im on my way with some bandaids and snacks, i love you baby. unlock the door for me beautiful."

after he sends that text, you hear jjs dirtbike pull up.

[lovebunnie]

“it’s not about canon fucking capital!” nandor spits in the air between them. guillermos jaw drops a bit, and it all starts to feel like a bit of a sick joke to nandor. its never easy, not with guillermo.

he shifts and narrows his eyes. “being a janitor had its good moments,” nandor admits. “i liked being the barrier between the cleanliness of productivity and the filth of failure. also those paper towels were very powerful, they didnt even leave any streakies!

“but…” nandor lets his shoulders drop and he suddenly cant look at guillermo. “being around humans all day is kind of shitty.”

guillermo huffs. “trust me, hanging around vampires all the time isnt all its cracked up to be either. ya know, i spent so many years cleaning up shit and say what you will about panera but atleast cleaning toilets there got me a free pastry-“

“why do you always leave me?”

it shocks them both into silence. guillermos jaw clicks shut while nandor hunches his shoulders, as though he could curl away from his own confession. he was literally commanding an army, but here was where words failed him.

guillermo swallows. “leave you? im right here.”

“no you are not,” nandor hisses. “you are with celeste and then you are with derrick and then it is freddie and laszlo and now you are with jordan.” he steps forward, which makes guilermo step back. conquering lands, even here and now.

“why must you always leave? why do you want to leave, and why do i want you to stay? it was not like this with other familiars, ill have you know!”

nandor thinks about all the snide comments made by laszlo and nadja over the years. their familiars were always easy come, easy go. but guillermo was always there. he would misplace an ugly sock or leave his toothbrush in the open.

guillermo has always been different. guillermo has always been the exception.

it makes all the leaving he does very painful. nandor doesnt know why.

“other familiars don’t pledge almost half their lives to one master,” guillermo counters. “other familiars wouldve left a long fucking time ago.”

it takes everything in nandor not to shudder at being referred to as master by guillermo. “i dont give a shit about other familiars. not even my own old familiars. they were just… blips in the radar.”

“and me?” guillermo whispers, finally reclaiming the ground covered by nandor and placing them almost chest to chest. “fifteen years for a vampire doesnt seem like much of anything.”

“you were my purpose, guillermo,” he says. “to make you into a fucking cool vampire. and then you decided it wasnt actually what you wanted and after that annoying ceremony that i put a lot of hard work into, you wanted to leave again. so now i have no familiar, no purpose because you are not a vampire. i have nothing.”

guillermo stays quiet for many seconds and nandor can see his eyebrows twitching in thought. it had been so long since nandor has stood this close to guillermo so if nothing else, the proximity was a nice touch

“my purpose was to be turned into a vampire, by you,” guillermo says. “and then i realized it would never happen unless i did something, so i did. but it doesnt change the fact that i spent so many years knowing that i…” he swallows and to nandors delight, his cheeks turn crimson under shitty lighting. “i was meant to be yours, turned by you.”

“you are driving me crazy,” nandor says quietly. “i do not know why you keep leaving me and why i care so much. you really hurt me, you know! every time you leave it hurts!”

“i know why i keep leaving,” guillermo says. “and i think i know why you want me to stay so bad. the reasons are pretty similar, if i had to guess.”

“tell me,” nandor growls, his hands coming up to grip guillermos biceps so that he cannot flee, not again. “tell me.”

with the same drive behind the words that would compel weaker men, guillermo looks up at him, and before nandor can even think about speaking again, guillermo surges up and crashes their lips together with his hands tangled in nandors hair and knocking the head piece off in the process.

before it can even begin, guillermo pulls away. he is panting and then pulling a vibrating telephone out of his pocket. nandor watches with blazing eyes

“its jordan…” he trails off, looking thoughtful while nandor feels murderous.

a small smile creeps onto his face as the still vibrating phone goes back into his pocket. “but I’ve got better things to do.”

guillermo smiles at nandor and for once, he looks settled, not ready to bolt. nandor knows the same expression is reflecting on his face as well.

as he makes his move towards a willing guillermo, he hopes the camera crew is more engrossed with whatever antics nadja and laszlo and colin robinson have gotten into.

[huenistar]

the txt members as brainrot

(fuck @/always4gowon u trump supporting bitch i hope u and you mama fall down the fucking stairs, poorly educated prolly a casserole eater (white person) fuck. u dont understand how politics works and u should not have an opinion. i wouldnt be surprised if ur IQ was under 70 because ur dumbass self brings religion into politics but the thing is u believe in a religion that has more sexual abusers and pedophiles than normal, well educated, independent, mentally stable people thats js crazy imo!! hope u get mental help cause something aint right in ur brain, you think slower than the average person and i wouldnt be shocked if u was a white female who lives in Delaware. fuck your racist ass and fuck ur mama for raising you like that)

i dont fuck with the trump supporting individuals, this post WAS but is not inspired by anyone that i know of. idgaf if u “made” this trend or wtv, until u show and tell me you political beliefs and views this post is my idea idgaf

thank u for reading that and i dont give 2 shits if u agree or not, as a woc i have the right to say this idea is mine until you show that ur beliefs are the same as mine. im not giving any credit to a fucker who wants abortion gone, immigrants gone, groceries higher and who brings up religion when we are discussing something that could genuinely affect more than 3 billion lives

doing the txt members cause i didnt script a friend group in my txt dr, and no i do not affiliate myself with that weirdass ho. lets continue on though

YEONJUN | 연준

fein, lunchly, thats what they called me in highschool

“fein fein fein fein” how about u start feining for a job!!!! IM TIRED OF HEARING FEIN

“5 minutes before we go on stage” “fein fein fein fein fein fein feinnn ohhh yeah fein fein” i have unwillingly picked up this habit

“did u guys see that four legged beast over there” “thats what they called me in highschool”

i cant say Shit around rhis man without him saying “thats what they called me in highschool” YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD.

“i like my cheese drippy bruh” how about i slap u into next week u poorly educated bafoon

SOOBIN | 수빈

gap gap wap wap, 𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸, sigma/beta/alpha

2 am at the dorm, the sounds u will hear is

loud clicking noises (beomgyu playing games)

‘hmmm’ every 5 seconds (yeonjun deciding on what clothes to buy)

laughing and giggling (tyunning watching a tiktok together)

and soobin saying “gap gap wap wap” for the 289th time that day (KEEP IN MIND THAT ITS TWO AM.)

“𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸” ur born in 2000 and im born in 2002 if we think harder about this i have the right to sue u

instead of u saying “𝓲𝓶 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 𝓿𝓻𝓸” to me how about u get a girlfriend and say that to her u LOSER.

“ur definitely a beta and im definitely an alpha” im employed what does this mean?

“isn’t hueningkai so sigma” uhmmmmm what

BEOMGYU | 범규

livvy dunne, baby gronk, gyat, everything.

most brainrotted of them all. hes too far gone

“oh my gyat what the skibidi!! livvy dunne got a sigma gyat and vro i just saw this edit an epik moa made of me and i look like such a mogger in it instead of a POTATO ;-; 🤫🧏 THOSE WHO KNOW💀💀 gimme mah kookey :c”

he uses any and ALL brainrot from ALL OF THE YEARS. how are u using vro and talking like ur role playing in “Adopt and Raise a Cute Baby🏠” ???

nothing he says makes sense at this point.

TAEHYUN | 태현

i forgor, perchance, paracetamol, galvanized square steel

he’s secretly brainrotted dont let his magic tricks fool u.

“hey taehyun” “wait i forgor” “HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂”

it was a SPELLING MISTAKE. NOT ME ACTUALLY SAYING I FORGOR.

“i forgor but this might perchance be paracetamol” he MIGHT use sigma every once in a while

“paracetamol, paracetamol, perchance paracetamol”

LORDDDDD SHUTT ITTTT IVE BEEN HEARING GAP GAP WAP WAP, FEIN, GYAT, RIZZ, AND PARACETAMOL ALL DAY.

he tries to be all big, buff and mysterious but if u say perchance he bust out laughing and suddenly everyone can hear him.

he genuinely watches those galvanized square steel videos because he thinks he needs to know how to build a house for 1.982 decilion people.

“perchance this is galvanized square steel and can u get me some… i forgor oh i remember! can u get me some paracetamol?” and keep in mind, HES LAUGHING AS HES SAYING THIS ??

HUENINGKAI | hueningkai in kr

rizz, sus, BOII 🫱🫱🫱, 👌

ik u saw that clip of hueningkai saying taehyun is lizz king.

he uses rizz on a daily basis

“you have so much rizz on stage..” STOP IT.

“this is so sus.. like among us his evil laugh”

i fear he says “BOII” whenever hes playing games with yeonjun

“look at my shoes dude… 👌” you are 22 years old not 12 years old.

“should i turn to my left or right when i do this?” “ur left side looks so sus today.. ur right side has so much rizz!!!”

I ASKED YOU WHICH SIDE LOOKS BETTER NOT WHICH ONE HAS MORE RIZZ.

[caligulalotus]

everyone say happy birthday to the most specialest boy there's ever been right now

[neptunezo]

The idea of the batkids scaring Bruce with “a new grandchild” to only show an animal is so funny to me, because imagine Bruce is so used to it that when Jason wants to introduce him to his new grandchild Bruce almost falls out of his chair when there’s an ACTUAL KID!

Dick: You’re a granddaddy now Brucie!!!

Bruce: WHAT?!? Who?? When??? How??? Actually don’t tell me how. Who is she??? When did she give birth???

Dick: What? No, meet my kid *holds up a cat* her name is biscuit and shes the love of my life!

—

Steph: Cass and I are adopting…

Bruce: Holy shit, actually???

Cass: Yes, it was a tough choice, but we want to adopt

Bruce: Do you need any help with paperwork and stuff? It’s kinda my thing. Also consider the fact that you might be too young.

Steph: Too young…?

Bruce: Yes, I mean you’re only in your 20’s, are you sure you can handle a kid?

Cass: Too young for an iguana?

—

Damian: It happened again, I have a kid.

Bruce: What do you mean AGAIN?!?

Damian: This is my second kid, duh

Bruce: Are you talking about goats?

Damian: Of course I am father

—

Tim: BRUCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE A GRANDFATHER!!!

Bruce: Tim I didn’t think I was going to have to tell you this again after the whole thing with Stephanie, but just kissing someone doesn’t get them pregnant

Tim:

Bruce: Is it a dog?

Tim: No it’s a tiger

—

Jason: I have something to tell you

Bruce(not looking up from his paperwork): Okay, what’s up?

Jason: I have a kid, I want you to meet your granddaughter

Bruce: I can’t possibly imagine what type of animal you’ve gotten, but I’d love to meet her

Jason: What the hell are you talking about?

Bruce (looking up to see an actual child): You actually have a kid????

Jason: Yeah, Roy and I thought it was time I adopted Lian

Lian: Hi Grandpa!!!

Bruce: I’m going to faint, grab me some ice will you?

[yanderespamton78]

Edit since a lot of people seem confused - your "real" name is the name that you want to be referred to in real life. It doesn't have to be your legal name. So if you're trans and you have a different name to whats on your birth certificate, even if not many people call you by the name, it still counts as your real name.

Edit 2 : Holy shit guys please stop reblogging this post my poor inbox im getting like 20 notifs an hour asjfhkajshdkh /lh /srs

[hinamie]

I could've been a better man, but I'm not

more lmhs megu bc i love him. he is here fr ur lunch money :>

jjk atla!au with @philosophiums

[uncharted-constellations]

These two have such a funny vibe, had to take Zelda out of half their games because you know she’d just be telepathically negging him the whole time. Theyre besties, theyre potentially related, she’s mentally whispering ‘Sandwich’ in his ear whenever he’s trying to focus.

Edit: Added funny page in celebration of me not having to rework these designs for the new game

[wu-does-art]

will probably had a very interesting talk with mike later.

[skunkes]

quick pupysona design adjustment

[oifaaa]

I dont think we as a society do enough with the fact that in current dc continuity the original story of how Damian was born is canon and that technically includes the bit were Talia gives Damian up for adoption as she thought that would be what's best for him bc there's a lot that can be done with this

[puhpandas]

every mlm ship has the vampire and the werewolf

[definitely-jax]

[lazycranberrydoodles]

chapter 2 - reincarnation (masterpost here)