#but then forgets abt it quickly afterwards

[birues]

I love Pandaemonium raids but after a while I'm pretty sure Tuana told Themis and Erich she's actually come from another realm bc it was so very obvious she wasn't a familiar

[cringelordofchaos]

want to pursue acting and drama but cant cuz I have the memory span of auhhhhhh

bees yeah sure

[princessjojo-x]

Moon Synastry

ignore the crossed out parts bc that’s just for me & my chart 😊

💝 moon conjunct rising - moon is drawn/attached to rising.

💝 moon conjunct sun - finding this person feels like finally coming home. partners see parts of themselves in each other meaning they both understand each other but also judge each other. moon can become quite clingy of sun. if there’s other conjunctions or oppositions in the synastry chart, it can be hard for partners to separate even if others to split them up. i’ve noticed they tend to love each others cooking too.

💝 moon conjunct moon - partners may reflect each other's negative traits & they may find that too overwhelming. on the contrary, there is something abt one another that makes partners feel comfortable. both understand each other since they both express emotions the same way. however, the strong empathy they feel for one another can cause them to get lost in the emotional tide & lose sight of who the other truly is. partners pull on each others emotional strings, for better or worse. it can feel very emotionally exhausting & intense. partners may repeatedly dump all of their emotional baggage on to each other until both feel suffocated.

💝 moon conjunct venus - this can only be described as a deep, powerful & magnetizing rxship. partners have matching love languages & similar value systems. partners feel seen, supported & understood. moon may feel an unexplainable pull or attraction to venus, even if that’s not in a romantic way. venus is uncontrollably obsessed & emotionally hooked to moons presence. venus helps moon embody their true body, meaning moon becomes more beautiful when around venus. however, partners have a tendency to enable & feed into each others bad habits & behaviour. despite the rxship progressing quickly, partners always ends on bad terms, with feelings of bitterness or hatred. however, somehow partners always come back to one another, until they have learned their lesson. if partners don’t happen to return back to each other, one or both will always have the desire to do so, due to all the comforting memories & genuine love that existed between the two. due to how sentimental & nostalgic this aspect is, breaking up & forgetting each other is a hellish experience.

💝 moon conjunct mars - the status of this rxship constantly fluctuates between good terms to bad terms. partners have intense arguments but still crave each other afterwards. this emotional & physical connection is hard to completely break apart. there’s plenty of valuable lessons learnt in this partnership. partners feel a safe & familiar feeling when with each other. this aspect reveals the instinctive sides of both partners. usually, mars is more energetic than moon & moon may feel triggered by mars. due to the intensity of this aspect, expect irritation, passion & fertility. if moon is female & mars is male, he will easily bring out her feminine side & make her feel broody, regardless of how masculine she may be. she’ll involuntarily perceive him as very masculine & father like. if moon is male & mars is female, she will be the dominant partner & this will get tiresome after awhile. she’s theoretically embodying the intiative & proactive energy in the rxship so he may be more passive in response to her efforts, unless there’s other aspects to negate this. (aries mars or taurus moon)

💝moon conjunct pluto - this can make you feel like the other is the ”only one” or the “first one” regarding something. for example a woman who has a bad rxship with men might meet a man, have this synastry with him & feel like he is the first man she ever felt safe around.

💝 moon conjunct saturn - this aspect indicates partners getting together/moving quickly.

💝 moon conjunct pluto - obsession, imbalance of power, control (aries pluto or sagitarius moon)

💝 moon conjunct neptune - marriage indicator (aquarius moon or aries neptune)

💝 moon trine moon - creates an empathetic bond & both feel safe in each others presence; there’s a feeling of “being home” when you’re together. mutual feelings for each other & show it in similar ways. you two just get each other. although you may have slightly different ways of expressing love, you still understand each other's love language to make this connection feel safe and warm. it's easy to share your feelings with each other and open up when you have this aspect and it's also so calming to be in this persons presence. they're the type of person that helps you sleep at night.

💝 moon trine venus - partners likely have similar interests & tastes so the connection feels smooth. partners have an endless amount of forgiveness for each other. however, partners may struggle to establish boundaries with the other. venus understands exactly what brings moon comfort & venus loves reassuring moon with affection. venus makes moon feel safe & warm. (sag/leo venus or virgo/cap moon)

💝 moon quincunx moon - these rxships may feel fated. these are the partners you can’t help but be shaped by. even though it’s challenging to say the least, this duo tends to stick together for a longtime. (scorpio or virgo moon)

💝 moon opposite moon - this aspect can either be a perfect couple or a complete disaster. despite the small differences at the beginning, partners grow to understand eachother & realise their emotional needs are more similar than they expected. they treat each other with sweetness & delicacy. also, this aspect indicates partners getting together/moving quickly.

💝 moon opposite venus - venus may feel moon is too distant. venus wishes moon was more caring & loving. (libra venus or scorpio moon)

💝 moon opposite mars - these planets arguably work better in opposition than conjunction within synastry. what one partner lacks, the other partner possesses, which can create the ultimate romantic fulfilment, if paired with effort & acceptance of each other. typically, partners do fight often but theyfind it very hard to let each other go. this bond is very raw & real. (libra mars or scorpio moon)

💝 moon opposite saturn - moon craves love & support but saturn is unable to provide. moon feels abandoned & will eventually distance themselves. saturn is usually very unaware of moon feelings. (libra saturn or sagittarius moon)

💝 moon square sun - partners are drawn to each-other like magnets & attracted to each other due to opposite qualities. however, this can become a big problem in the long term bc those differences that once made you attracted can make you repulsed once the honey moon stage is over. typically, sun will want something casual & sexual but moon will want something serious & loving. to make this work partners need to compromise a lot. (cancer/cap sun or moon)

💝 moon square moon - partners have an immediate emotional response to each other upon first impressions. despite the initial attraction, there’s an emotional disconnect. partners cannot understand each-others emotions which causes unnecessary misunderstandings & constant bickering. there’s many differences in how partners express their emotions & what they need to feel nurtured. despite the love they may share for one another, they view each other's ways of expression as incorrect. one or both feel deeply misunderstood or judged by the other. one will feel like their feelings are always being disregarded by the other. due to the continuous clashes resentment builds over time. partners can be overly involved in each others lives & overstep boundaries. since they likely have different maternal upbringings there may be conflict with each other's mothers or families. however, this difficult placement can be balanced or diluted if there’s further moon conjunctions present in the synastry chart (eg ‘venus conjunct moon’ or ‘sun conjunct moon’). for this partnership to survive effort needs to be made which shouldn’t be difficult if partners care abt each other. one has to come out of their comfort zone & go out of their way to make the other feel nurtured & satisfied. it takes a lot of acceptance, communication & regular check ins to work but unfortunately it rarely ever does. they may be worlds apart yet there is still a strong yearning for one another. this aspect is often seen within flings or very passionate rxships. (cancer/cap moon)

💝 moon square venus - any harsh aspects between venus & moon can indicate unrequited love. moon is attached to & idolises venus. venus enjoys moon’s company but they aren’t that romantically involved or interested. (can/cap venus or leo/aqua moon)

💝 moon square mars - any harsh aspect between these two planets causes complex chemistry. you don’t know if you want to rip their head off or rip their shirt off. they just know what to say to piss you off yet there’s something so appealing & alluring abt them. (cancer/cap mars or leo/aqua moon)

💝 moon square mercury - both partners feel misunderstood by the other. it's hard for moon to express emotions to mercury & mercury feels they have to walk on eggshells around moon. (cap/cancer merc or moon)

💝 moon square saturn - this aspect indicates a slow burn rxship & taking a long time to finally get together. a lot of insecurity here, moon feels like their feelings are being invalidated & criticised by saturn (cancer/capricorn saturn or virgo/pisces moon)

💝 moon square uranus - this aspect indicates partners getting together/moving quickly. however, uranus will pop in & out of moons life. moon needs support & security but uranus has other intentions & isn’t concerned abt moon’s feelings. (cancer/capricorn uranus or taurus/scorpio moon)

[sminiac]

WAIT SORRY FOR BUGGING SM 😭😭 but i reread ur post abt who u write for and im a p1ece 🫡🫡🫡 sooo,, same question as the bnd one,, i would love some hcs for piwon too 🤲🏾🤲🏾🤲🏾

- lunicho

💌 — Bunny please you’re literally not bugging me at all, I love seeing you in my notifs, GOTCHU ALWAYS!!

Warnings — Smut focused, MDNI.

⋆ Y. Keeho

There’s this one clip of him from a live that I can’t stop thinking about, basically someone in the chat said something that bugged him a little and he wasn’t scared to be like “Yeah… no.” But he was also so gentle about it afterwards? Like he made his disagreement with them graspable but it wasn’t petty, idk, making me think of Possesive!Keeho and him dragging you back to the dorms, the two of you having left before the event was fully over because he couldn’t stand seeing so many people try to pursue more than just an innocent friendship with his girlfriend, right in front of him. His agitation warping his perception of the situation and being so quick to think that you’re entertaining them.. when really you’re trying to sway the conversation away from the uncomfortable lack of decorum, so he’s dragging you home, his jaw so tight that you swear you can see a vein pushing through the skin of his forehead. Being unable to wait until he’s got you in his bed, taking you right by the front door, struggling to keep yourself up with only the handle and flat wall behind you. His annoyance makes the things he has to say come easily, probably says some shit like “Wish it was him fucking you like this? Funny you think someone could ever fill you up the way I can? Look at you, can barely even speak.”… Lol… afterwards he’s so gentle and sweet with you during aftercare, but he’ll take the time to pull you into his chest, gently rubbing at any sore muscles in your body whilst explaining in detail why he reacted the way he did, what you should do the next time something like that happens, what he should do better. I’m okay :,)

⋆ C. Taeyang

Sub!Theo, just- ….Sub!Theo. Although when he’s feeling a little more assertive he’s so relentless when teasing you, wants you whining, begging for him to please you. Has the prettiest smile on his face as the head of his cock presses into you, but he has enough self control to not slam his length all the way inside of you, merely drags himself through your folds, enjoying the sticky mess you make, so warm and alluring. Think he’d be the type to get lost in the pleasure though, would completely forget about being inside of you as his pace speeds up, now slipping the whole of his cock against your pussy, his pretty fingers placed on top of him so there’s some pressure stimulating the both of you. Becomes a little embarrassed that only the act of fucking himself against you has him cumming, his chest straining as soft, jumbled moans spill from his lips in tandem with the sticky white fluid beading from his slit and getting all over your inner thighs. That’s when you’ve decided he’s had his fun having his way with you, I think he’d become so fucked out so quickly with you, gets ahead of himself a lot of the time and tries to be strict with you, bullying you with his cock into submission but then he’s so quickly overcome by the pleasure that his handle on the facade starts slipping and then he’s the one whimpering, begging for you to fuck him, take care of him, make him a mess.

⋆ C. Jiung

Jiung definitely has the ability to switch between sub and dom, another person I’d say 50/50 with. But c’mon, Dom!Jiung? I’m weeeaaak. I think about that clip from the radio show with Keeho when they’re talking about how they’d handle their ‘gf’ dancing with another man at a party quite often, he’s so not the type to be confrontational about something he’s not okay with, but instead he’d be more reserved, he’s got a good levelled head on his shoulders, but he’d definitely want to be shown that you only care about him. “Show me how much you love me.. please? Jus’ wanna fuck your mouth.” I’M NOT OKAY. Being on your knees for him backstage, cock heavy in your tongue as he slouches against the wall with his hand fisting at the hem of his shirt, enough of the material bunched up between his fingers so that you can see the butterfly tattoo that lives near his hipbone. He’d definitely make the prettiest sounds ever, isn’t afraid to be moaning in your ear like a slut even when he’s the one in charge, always, aaalways has to let you know how good you’re making him feel.

⋆ H. Intak

A being called ‘Daddy’ enjoyer, but I think we know this? That and his name, isn’t afraid to ask of you to “Say my name, god- please baby say m’name, the way I like it.” He’s sick. I’M SICK, GRAVELY ILL. I think he’d have a thing for restraining you, tying you up all pretty just so he can fuck you until he’s shooting blanks. That and sleepy sex, definitely likes starting most of his mornings off with pulling you into him and slipping your panties and whatever else you have on to the side just so he can bury himself in you, slow, self indulgent thrusts, doesn’t pull all the way out because he can’t bare to not be so close to you. Requests of you to wear specific bottoms that have a thin, stretchy material just so he can get his cock inside of you faster, easier. His hands. Has a thing for rubbing your tummy, and it would be such a warm, comforting feeling, his touch slowly pulling you back under your sleepy lidded eyes as he grinds into you from behind. I also think that he wouldn’t be shy about pda with you, likes having his hands on you, his arms, his eyes, his lips. Just wants to show you off, that you’re his, that he’s allowed to touch you in so many ways that nobody else ever could.

ᰔ sminiac’s P1Harmony M.list

[yikesmary]

Heyyy!! Can u do like a bittersweet one abt Mingyu forgetting abt ur date cuz he went out with the other members

(NOT A) DATE NIGHT — kim mingyu x reader

summary: sometimes it was hard dating an idol because of their busy schedules. after missing a date and being mia, mingyu tries to make it up to you.

note: nooo this is such a sad request!! however, I couldn't handle leaving it on a sad note so it ends really happy!

join my taglist!

It was hard scheduling dates with Mingyu. Between his hectic schedule and your work schedule that never seemed to line up with his, it was difficult going out with each other.

Of course, that didn't deter either of you from at least trying. You've been together for about three years now, and some of these dates consisted of having to Facetime him when you just woke up while he was just going to sleep.

But this was the first time since you guys got together that he hasn't shown up or even texted he was going to be late for your date. So there you stood, dressed up, sat on the couch, feeling sad for yourself.

You tried calling Mingyu a couple of times, texting him to see if he was on his way, but there was no answer. With no way to get to him, you dialed the number of the next best person to reach out to.

"Wonwoo, is dance practice going on?"

"Dance practice ended about an hour ago," he told you.

You pursed your lips and automatically assumed that he forgot, since if you were to think about it any longer you were going to spiral and think of a worse reason, which is not what you wanted to do.

Sighing, you said, "Okay, thanks anyways," and was about to hang up.

"What's wrong?" Wonwoo asked.

"It's just, Mingyu and I were supposed to go on a date but he never ended up coming home, so..." You trailed off, the insinuation clear.

From the other side, you heard Wonwoo curse, presumably at Mingyu even if he wasn't there.

"He must've gone with the others to go to eat. They were talking about it during practice. I'll call one of the members right now—"

"No, it's alright. I'll just talk to him later,"

"You sure? Cheol's always got his phone on so I can probably call him so he can get Mingyu—"

"It's alright," you repeated.

Wonwoo sighed from the other line, and you could tell he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself and instead said, "Let me know how it goes,"

You didn't bother with a response and just hung up. And with a heavy heart, you decided to go to your bedroom and get ready for bed.

Trying to sleep with the thought that your boyfriend missed your date was difficult. The most you could do was stare at the ceiling until you fell asleep out of pure exhaustion and not because you wanted to.

This, however, was quickly interrupted by the sound of the front door opening, which made you sit up. At the sound of Mingyu's footsteps approaching the bedroom, you grabbed your phone and pretended you were occupied by whatever was on the screen.

He walked in, and part of you hated to see how relaxed he looked. He could've pretended to look at least a tiny bit guilty. "Hey," you offhandedly greeted, your phone seemingly more important than him.

"Hey, baby," Mingyu said, giving you a sweet smile that almost melted all the anger you felt for him away. But you had to stay strong, so you didn't say anything.

From the corner of your eye, you could see that he was confused at your lack of reaction; whenever he would come home, you'd practically jump at him and ask him questions and kiss him all over his face even if he came from dance practice.

"How was dance practice?" You asked.

"It was good but tiring like always. But I went out with a couple of the members for food afterward, and that's always fun," Mingyu recalled.

"I tried calling you but you didn't answer," you told him, and a look of realization showed on his face.

"Oh, I turned off my phone in order to focus on practice and I forgot to turn it on. Sorry babe," he apologized.

You hummed in response then said, "It's fine, just get ready for bed so we can sleep,"

Mingyu nodded, still visibly confused about how you were acting, but went into the bathroom in order to get ready for bed.

However, he must've turned his phone back on, since you heard him curse and then ran out of the bathroom. You guessed that he must've seen your texts about reminding him for the date or Wonwoo scolding him for forgetting about the date.

"Baby, I am so sorry—" he started, rushing to your side of the bed and kneeling down so you guys made eye contact.

"Gyu, it's fine," you cut him off, even if you were lying through your teeth.

"No, it's not fine. I should've remembered and you shouldn't have to remind me. I could've set a billion reminders about the date and even asked some of my members to remind me—" Mingyu started rambling.

"Gyu, don't worry about it. However, this can't happen again, okay? If you're going to be late or just can't come, then text me. I don't wanna have to worry unnecessarily about where you are," you told him.

He stayed quiet for a bit, before saying, "...Are you sure it's fine?"

You nodded and he kissed you on the forehead.

"Of course, it's not fine! When has it ever been fine to miss out on a date and not answer your girlfriend's texts?!" Wonwoo scolded Mingyu.

Mingyu pouted and tried to defend himself by saying, "She said it was fine! Why would she say it's fine if it really wasn't?"

Wonwoo sighed and massaged his temples as if he had a headache (he probably did from dealing with his best friend). "Mingyu, if someone says they're fine, more often than not it means it isn't fine," he said.

"Then what should I do?"

"She's your girlfriend, you should be answering that,"

"I've already messed up enough as it is," Mingyu sighed.

"Look, your dates started out as a way to spend time with each other despite your busy schedules, right?"

"Right,"

"And for the most part, she's been the one arranging all of the dates you guys have, right?"

"Yeah, unfortunately," Mingyu guiltily said. This fact always made him feel bad because made him feel like if he didn't put more effort in, you'd find someone who could.

"Then, do something that shows you're going to become better,"

Mingyu contemplated Wonwoo's words before he knew what he was going to do.

Unlocking the door, you walked through and were surprised to see Mingyu sitting on the couch. "Babe, what are you doing here? You were supposed to be at work," you said.

Mingyu stood up and walked until he was stopped in front of you. Gently grabbing your forearms, he said, "Let's go on a date,"

Raising your eyebrows, you questioned, "You? Arranged a date?"

Nodding his head, Mingyu then said, "I know I haven't been the best boyfriend. With missing our date, turning off my phone, and not even letting you know that I was going to come home late, I'm just glad you're still here,"

You nodded, "Of course, I'm still here. I love you, but like I said last night, it can't happen again."

"And it won't. But, I have a surprise for you,"

Mingyu led you to your bedroom door, which was closed. He placed you in front of it and he opened it, and then you saw that your bedroom curtains were closed but your room was lit up by candles that were scattered around.

On your bed, were plates of some of your favorite foods that Mingyu cooked whenever he had the time. And on the TV, was your favorite movie already loaded in and paused.

Smiling at the cute sight, you turned to Mingyu, who looked nervous for your reaction. "You did this all for me?" you asked, touched.

"You've been working hard on your own job and trying to navigate dating me, so I wanted to do something that showed my appreciation for you," he told you.

"This is so sweet! I don't know what to say,"

"You don't have to say anything right now, since I have about a week in order to make up for everything,"

"What do you mean?"

"I know that you were planning to take your planned break from your job, so I asked to take a week off too," MIngyu informed you.

"But, Gyu, a week is a lot of time you're going to miss. How about the comeback?" you worriedly asked him.

"I've got it all figured out. Wonwoo's going to send me videos of the dance practices so I can learn them from home and I already learned and recorded my lines with Woozi," he told you.

"That's a lot to do from home," you commented.

"As long as I'm with you, I'm fine," he reassured you.

"So, a whole week?"

"A whole week. The members aren't allowed to contact me if it's work-related," Mingyu said.

"Did Wonwoo scold you for forgetting?"

"I almost thought he was going to strangle me for how dumb I was being,"

taglist (if your name is not underlined, it means I was unable to tag you): @belladaises @winterpaos @wonhuiful @minhui896 @baekhyunimochibbh @x-alightinthedark @whywontyousetfree @minghaossv @coffeesandrains @slaveofmydreams @bmkgemz @dandycharmer @outrologist @stagefrjghts @dahliatopia @exo-saranghajaaa @uhlatcha @watermelon-sugars-things @miniminimingi @venzline @kokorit0 @withloveyjh @mikopikotobiko @lockburn-castle @mrs-kamisato @userjunhuii @mypsychicpizzaworld @againwithwonu @violetvoo @maevadobreva @hyperhanie @soonyoungblr @miesieu @baekhyunstruly @ryusol @xuenihao @itsrachelsplace @thatcuteandquietgirl @yoonzinoooo @swinterr @xyncthiaaa @dearxia

[verysium]

some hcs abt the bllk boys doing modeling shoots as pro-players? (like what they’d model for and the ways they captivate their audiences and stuff)? ty and love ur works btw 💞💞🫡

idk why but this ask made my brain freeze up and refuse to write anything for 3 days, so apologies if this is late anon:

sae would be so done. i mean....he walked out on a literal interview, so what makes you think he won't walk out on a photoshoot? he probably hates the very idea of plastering his face all over billboards and magazines. but his manager said that he was in desperate need of good publicity, especially after that stunt he pulled with the last commercial endorsement. if sae was forced to model though, he'd definitely be as stiff as a board. no facial expressions whatsoever and always sticks to one pose. oftentimes, this involves him facing the wall and only showing half his face. if the photographer wants a full frontal, he's going to have to deal with sae's "i don't want to be here and i'm being held hostage" face. even if sae does try smiling, it looks more like a grimace. the only redeeming quality here is that he is good-looking. if you look at the official art, he doesn't even have to try to get all of you drooling over him. that face card does not decline. like ever. so the shoots usually wrap up pretty quickly because out of the 100 images taken, at least half are going to be usable. he's photogenic from any angle.

kaiser would strike a pose for everything, even his own mugshot. i picture him as that one johnny depp advertisement for dior sauvage. blue lighting. a silk blouse with the top button open to show off a sliver of his sculpted chest. his hair is slicked back with gel, and his knuckles are decorated with silver rings. the tattoo just pulls everything together. if not a perfume commercial, then i think he'd model for adidas or some other german brand (maybe even a beer company if he's old enough). i don't think he has any trouble with the actual modeling part of process. he knows how to flaunt himself. the only issue is that kaiser is a lazy perfectionist. he would show up late to the shoots and then stays even later just looking through the shots and choosing which ones to include. puts a lot of time and effort into things like this. after all, his image and his brand are important to him.

shidou would be sponsored by an energy drink brand. like red bull or monster. if not that, then axe body spray lol. as for modeling, i feel like he wouldn't be able to sit still. probably pulls out crazy poses that piss the photographers off on purpose. it always cracks me up how one of his first appearances in the manga is him being muzzled and restrained in a straitjacket inside blue lock's time-out zone. he's so chaotic. you would have to hold him down and shove the camera into his face to actually get a good shot. i also picture him wearing lots of black leather, maybe even silver jewelry (eg. studs, piercings). and of course, you can't forget the hot pink accents.

isagi would model for family-friendly brands. if not that, then just japanese brands in general. i imagine him doing skincare commercials for shiseido or maybe even participating in a campaign for UNIQLO. as for modeling, he would be awkward at first but then gradually get the hang of it. always thanks the team afterwards and is very mindful of the photographer's suggestions. everyone says he is a pleasure to work with.

rin would model for luxury watch brands like TAG heuer or IWC. maybe when he grows older and further develops his career, he might even become an ambassador for louis vuitton or bulgari. overall, his advertisements are very elegant and professional. only endorses high quality products. never looks at the shots afterwards because he hates looking at his own face. gets somewhat embarrassed when his mama points out his billboards and makes clippings of his magazine covers. he absolutely flipped when a brand suggested that he do a collaboration with his brother. so when this collaboration actually did take place, it was like a repeat of the whole messi-ronaldo photoshoot. they didn't actually meet on set. they were just photoshopped together into the same frame.

barou models for calvin klein. lots of denim and shirtless photos. all of the staff got nosebleeds, and his fanbase went wild when the issue was finally released. there's this one image his fans worship religiously where he's posing in his boxers and there's a clear shot of his abs and happy trail. (he's so hot wtf) there's also another shot that wasn't used cus a million people would've been deceased. he's standing there with his thumbs in the belt loops of his jeans and wearing nothing underneath his denim jacket. his hair is also down, and his skin is all sun-kissed and golden.

reo models streetwear, and this is canon because he has the drip. honestly, his duality needs to be studied because he can go from high class gentleman to bad boy who wears chains and knuckle rings. he'd try all different sorts of styles, and he'd look good doing it. out of all the bllk boys, i feel like reo gets the most sponsorship deals because of his versatility. he does the styling, hair, makeup, posing, editing, etc. honestly, they need to hire him as a creative director already. nagi would tag along behind the scenes, but he'd end up scrolling on his phone the entire day.

[toruro]

Hi I was wondering if you could do a Maknae line - having a argument and making up after a fight ? Thank you 🤍 love your work

maknae line + fighting with them

a/n: of course! i’m so glad you’re liking my work! this was a fun write, but writing for vernon for this scenario was sooo difficult for me lmfoa?!?! anyways pt.2 of them making up can be found here and hyung line's version is right here! c: please leave likes/comments/reblogs if you enjoyed!

w/c: 2.1k

seokmin

in large arguments like this, he’s just as much of a mess as you are. you’re both emotional, and while some might think that large arguments like this are impossible between you just because of how soft-spoken he is, they’re so, so wrong. the fact that you’re both so emotionally driven heightens arguments like this, even though they may be rare. you’d both be crying for sure, yet neither of you relent because you want this issue to resolved and you’re both too stuck up in how you’re feeling individually to think about compromises and solutions. it’ll just go back and forth for literally ages until one of you just can’t find it in you to even cry or yell back anymore. once you've both reached your breaking points, it'll be pin-drop silence. neither of you would be saying a word, the only noises coming from the shaky inhales and exhales. eventually seokmin would get up and grab himself a glass of water, retreating to your bedroom afterwards. you use these moments to think about your next actions, but with your mind all foggy like this, all you really want to do is sleep. you debate for a few moments if you should choose to sleep in the guest room or follow seokmin and sleep with him. your head is telling you that maybe you need space but your heart is telling you that you can't bear to be this distant from him in a time like this, and quickly follow in his footsteps, crawling into your spot on the bed next to him without a word. seokmin doesn't speak either, but the way that he shuffles just a little closer to you under the covers sends you the message that things will be okay.

mingyu

i can see him getting *really* worked up by arguments just because he tends to get blinded by his own emotions. when you guys are in an especially big argument, he’d definitely forget completely about what you guys are even fighting over and will try to nitpick at your words because he just lets everything get to your head. oh you want him to change some of his behaviors? that must mean you hate him. and let me tell you this man is SO stubborn that once his mind is set on one idea, as long as he’s angry and heated like this, he will NOT relent at all (thinking abt that one time jeonghan talked abt an argument he had with mingyu where they were yelling so much that jeonghan lost his voice but mingyu kept going help). he’ll be so stuck in his head and it all just builds up and you’d be getting sososo frustrated it would literally bring tears to your eyes and with everything that he’s saying and everything that you’re thinking, nothing is making sense because there’s just so much going on. at some point you feel like you can’t even comprehend the words coming out of his mouth so you cut him off, saying, “mingyu i can’t do this anymore,” and that’ll make him stop dead. you’d realize he thinks you’re talking your relationship in general, and while the silence is thick, you clarify, “this argument. i can’t think right now,” you murmur. you realize that mingyu’s breath is labored and that this entire fight has really taken a toll on you both, and he takes a moment to respond. “okay,” is all he says, and he doesn’t move when you go to the bedroom to grab a pillow and blanket because he only thinks you’re going to get into bed. when you walk out and place the two on the couch, he catches on, quickly catching your wrist before you can lay down. “what are you doing,” he’d ask. “going to sleep?” you shoot back. “okay well sleep on the bed.” you’d shake your head. “i want to clear my mind.” mingyu tugs at your wrist, “okay well do that on the bed.” like i said, mingyu is STUBBORN he definitely won’t relent until you finally agree to sleep on the bed with him, even if you two aren’t pressed up against each other like usual.

minghao

i said this earlier but the yelling-in-each-other’s-faces kind of arguments don’t happen with minghao. with the others, those kind of arguments may be rare but with minghao they are quite literally nonexistent. that doesn’t mean you two don’t argue or have issues, but having them emotionally escalate to that level with either of you can’t even think is just not something minghao or you will let happen. the worst of your arguments are still quite tolling though: you and minghao would start talking faster and maybe not all of your words are thought through but whenever either of you realizes what’s going on, you’d take it as your chance to just stay quiet for a few moments, collecting your thoughts. tonight, you’re both frustrated and emotional and you know that this isn’t the best time to have this kind of conversation. eventually, minghao will say what you’re both thinking: “i don’t think we should talk about this right now.” you agree with him, you know you do, but you’re so upset and desperate to fix this issue and for once you speak without thinking, “then when will we?” and the words come out harsher than you’d like. minghao gives you That Look and you’d falter. “in the morning,” he tells you, “we should sleep now.” he can tell you’re hesitant so he walks across the room to where you’re standing to hold your hand and gently pull you to the bedroom. he understands that you’re still tentative and doesn’t push you to do anything you don’t want, but is still insistent on the fact that he wants the two of you to at least still sleep in the same bed.

seungkwan

petty as fuck. kind of like mingyu in the sense that he would definitely nitpick at your words and make the argument far more stretched out than it should be. you love him and all off his dramatics but in some situations it’s just too much, and this happens to be one of those rare occasions. you’re just trying to get your point across and you get the feeling he isn’t really listening to you—it's infuriating to say the least. you're both upset and frustrated and seungkwan is too angry, too caught up in the moment to catch on. it's when your tears stop steadily falling and you end up bawling into your hands that seungkwan seems to sober up. you're crying out so loud and so hard hat neither you can think, seungkwan standing still on the opposite side of the room while you just bury your head in your hands, trying your best to take in deep breaths and ease yourself. seungkwan is, least to say, astounded with himself. he's still upset, still angry, but the only thought at the forefront of his mind is the fact that you're literally sobbing your eyes out and it's his fault. he's not sure how it came to this point, since the moments before you crying were pretty much just a raging blur for him. now is seungkwan's time to step back and reflect on anything and everything he's said in the past few minutes, eventually making the decision to walk over to you and place a hand on your shoulder, hoping it'll help ground you, help calm you down. and much to his tentative relief, it works, and you're able to start muttering words about how you're too tired to talk about this anymore, sinking into seungkwan's arm further. he feels his soul nearly crush at the sight, pushing any anger towards this situation to the back of his mind before he's pulling you along with him to the bedroom. "sleep," he'd instruct, opening the covers for you, and when you look at him with puffy cheeks and glossy eyes, he sighs heavily, "we'll fix things in the morning, i promise." as you both slip under the covers, you drift off to sleep with the welcoming thought that you know seungkwan always lives up to his promises.

vernon

vernon in a serious argument is reserved. it almost pisses you off how he's just...taking everything in. you'd be talking endlessly about your feelings and trying to discuss the issue and he wouldn't even look at you, having his eyes trained on the ground intently. after what feels like ages of you just pretty much talking to yourself, you sigh in defeat, crossing your arms over each other as you blink furiously, trying not to cry. "can you at least pretend you care?" you spit out without thinking, and you regret it for a moment but then you don't, not if it has vernon looking up at you, seemingly more reactive to your words right now than in the past ten minutes. "i—i'm sorry, i'm—i'm thinking," he'd stutter a bit before looking you in the eyes properly, "i care, you know i do, i just—this is a lot." you want to cry even more now, not because you think he's lying but because you know he's telling the truth—it's glaringly obvious to you now that this issue is, in fact, quite a lot and you know vernon likes to take things slowly. you're honestly a little desperate to get this whole situation resolved right now, but you're tired and vernon is tired and you don't know how you're going to make it work. vernon notices this doubt on your face, stepping forward to take your hand. "i'm so sorry," he'd murmur again when you struggle to meet his eyes, "i just—it's late, and i'm trying to think about everything and it's not making sense right now and i think we need to talk about this later." you want to frown and protest, say that no! we need to talk about this now! but you know vernon's right and that if you keep this up you'll keep going in circles. you'd let out a short hum of approval before letting vernon pull you by the hand to the bedroom. he notices your hesitation to get into bed next to him, but he gives you a look which is filled with so much sincerity that any thoughts you have of sleeping on the couch are withering away.

chan

he’d be very mature about most arguments, but that doesn’t mean he’s the best at controlling his emotions when things get abnormally out of hand. you aren’t sure when this argument escalated from just going back and forth to pretty much yelling at each other from across the room but it happens and you’re not thinking straight—not seeing straight, definitely not through the tears in your eyes. chan would be glossy eyed too, and this whole situation is less about you two being stubborn and more about you both trying to communicate your emotions in it’s full capacity. normally that would be good—you and chan are heavy on being honest about your emotions but when both of you are thinking and feeling so many things, it’s hard to comprehend, let along discuss how you’re feeling. it’s after you go on a long, long tangent about something when chan doesn’t reply, kind of just staring at the floor with a clouded expression. he’d be trying to formulate a response but his brain would be fried and all he can think about his how he painfully wants this issue to be resolved, but fights back the thought that you guys can’t do that right now—not when you’re both so foggy minded. “i’m sorry,” you’d finally whisper, looking down at the ground as well, not finding it in you face chan. “i don’t think we can talk about this right now,” chan says in response with a heavy sigh. “let’s just—“ he takes a shaky breath to run a hand down his face to wipe away some stray tears, “—let’s talk about this in the morning.” you’d follow him to the bedroom and the thought of sleeping in the living room crosses your mind, but when you see chan crash down into the mattress, obviously exhausted, you just *know* your heart won’t let you do that. instead, you crawl into the bed next to him, and while you have a feeling a bit of distance would be good, you can’t help but curl up by chan’s side tentatively, sinking further into the sheets when he grips you closer without a word.

[ninyard]

whenever you have a moment for some oc yappery i'd love to hear more abt Paris

you asked for it here's paris (ilovehimilovehimilovehim)

-- paris antonis

-- 25

-- backliner on the same team as lilya, also hoping to get signed for the us court but keeps getting that disappointing phone call that says not this year

— transferred from edgar allan to usc after his first year

Paris. 6'2, he's got big arms and a bigger heart. his hair is buzzed, he has more tattoos than he can count, and always has something in his anxious hands. he’s a seriously empathetic person - if you’re upset, there’s a good chance he’ll end up crying with you. he’s sensitive, a little bit paranoid, and he probably doesn’t trust you.

Paris was scouted for the Ravens from his high school team - he played exy from pretty much the time he could walk. star player, captain of the team, with his recognisable smile and even more recognisable laugh, he was offered a position on the raven lineup, and of COURSE he was going to take it. his wardrobe got darker, more and more people clapping hands on his back saying congratulations, man. they’re the best of the best. you’ll fit right in.

he remembers clearly the last time he saw most people from his hometown - his best friend clare, who pulled at the collar of his black tshirt and asked if this was the new normal. his coach, who shook his hand and wished him luck, not after showing him the picture of him they were printing out to put in the halls of his high school. his little brother jonas, who made him promise to call. who made him promise to send letters and postcards. his older sister sasha, who promised him she’d watch every game. his mom who cried as she watched him leave. his dad who finally told him he was proud of him.

the last time paris smiled in edgar allan was in the minutes where he waited to be escorted to the nest by a raven. paris stood up to shake the girls hand, who only looked at his outstretched palm and told him to follow her.

the next few months were the worst months of his life. he met lilya, who seemed to fit in already, even though she arrived the day before he did. they were partners from the beginning. paris learned the rules of the nest very quickly, and very painfully.

he cried for his mom at the end of his first week. he stopped crying after a month.

there was not a part of him that didn’t change. he became a robot, a shell of himself, a machine that only cared about exy, that lived and breathed edgar allan. happy, smiley paris became this shadow of himself. he forgets what his own voice sounds like when he’s not scared, or tired. he wakes up afraid most of the time.

paris has a scar on his bicep that stretches from just below his arm pit to just above his elbow from some hazing ritual in his second month in EAU. he’s really self conscious about it, because it healed in a messy jagged line - every time he thought it had healed he’d be back on the court and it’d just split back open again. it was the first thing he covered up when he started getting tattoos the summer that he left the nest.

his story goes a little like this then, afterwards; he called his mom the night that he left. while he took a cab as far away as he could, she bought him a plane ticket home.

he didn’t last long back in his hometown.

he couldn’t speak to his family, their pleas for him to talk to them quietly ignored with a shake of his head. his dad noticed the scar across his cheek first, from Paris’ first fight, and his sister was the first to see the awful scar on the back of his calf from where a helmet had been thrown at him and broken skin so badly it needed stitches. his little brother touched the scar on his arm and asked what happened. Paris bought his ticket to California that night, when he’d only been home for a week.

he realised something about himself had well and truly fundamentally changed when he smiled a couple of months into training and adjusting to life at usc; he was having lunch with his teammates, and a joke was said, and he smiled. unintentional, but newly unnatural. a first year goalkeeper nudged him and said, “i think that’s the first time i’ve seen a real smile on your face you since you got here.”

popular, happy, sportsmanship awarding winning Paris, Paris with the pretty smile, Paris with the laugh that you’d recognise from a mile away. Paris who graduated high school as the most likely to become a comedian, most likely to make you laugh, his peers parents’ favourite friend. clare used to tell him off for making her smile when she was down - now? now his own smile no longer reached his eyes, the impulse to laugh buried beneath a single year worth of beatings and suppression. now his teammates were only noticing his first smile, three months into his time at USC.

Paris is paranoid, Paris has to read over documents a hundred times to make sure the terms are okay, Paris doesn’t trust people anymore. he used to be known for being that guy who would tell his friends to give someone the benefit of the doubt, to give someone a chance, to not judge a book by its cover. now he feels like he's skeptical of everyone he meets.

he’s afraid of someone knowing his secrets, he’s afraid of spilling secrets. he never got back into contact with his family once he left for california, except for the odd “im alive” text he sends to his sister once every couple of months. maybe sometime in the future, when he feels like himself again, he'd reach out and make amends, but he can’t let them see him like this. he can’t bear to have his mother look at him the way she did when he first came home. like she doesn’t recognise her own son anymore, like she’s raised this sweet boy and he’s turned himself into a soulless monster.

Paris doesn’t really label his sexuality, but he feels like queer fits him best.

things change for him eventually. he starts to feel like himself again. he smiles more, letting people in, and sometime by the end of his third year he’s heard his true laugh again. it takes him a long time to heal from that year in Edgar Allan, but it’s a slow and painful process, and a very lonely one. but he gets there eventually, with people by his side pushing him forward every step of the way.

there's some more stuff about paris here and here and under my ocs tag but if i dont stop i'll just keep talking about him forever <3

[sweet4roma]

can you write something abt isa? IDK WHAY NO ONE WRITES ABT HER LIKE SHES SO PRETTY AND HOT AND EVERYTHING I NEED TO READ MORE OF HER

ty for the request!! and yes i agree she is the prettiest girl ever snd she so underrated!! hope you like it :3

I’ll try

pairing: dom!isa x sub!fem!reader

wc: 0.5k

warnings: smut, pussy eating, established relationship?, no aftercare, thats it ig

‘Do you think i can take the lead tonight?’ you girlfriend asked you as she pulled away from a kiss. She was seated on your lap, with her slender fingers caressing your cheeks. Her request took you aback, as she was usually a pillow princess and a subby person overall. But you couldn’t refuse Isa, she was basically seducing you with her eyes right now.

‘Do you think you can handle it?’ you smiled at her. ‘I’ll try’

That was all she said before diving once again into your lips. This kiss was significantly rougher than the first one. She quickly began biting your lips as to make you open your mouth, and when you did, she slipped her tongue inside, exploring the inside of it. As eager as she was she even sucked your tongue for a little bit, this new version of her giving you a heartbeat between your legs.

She further moved to you neck where she bit your flesh, licking it afterwards to soothe the pain. Isa’s hand moved under your shirt and went to your breasts, where she squeezed one of them through your bra.

‘take it off, baby’ she demanded which you happily obeyed. Everything was moving so fast that you didn’t even notice her taking one of your nipples in her mouth, sucking roughly at it. ‘fuck, isa’ you moaned, gripping her hair. You could feel her smile into your chest.

Getting impatient, you started pushing her head downwards, so she could get to where you needed her most faster. She clicker her tongue but decided to listen to you.

Luckily for you and Isa, you were wearing a skirt so it was easy for her to just slide her head between your legs, disappearing inside of your skirt. The sight was so pretty, you wanted to take a photo.

Your mind went dizzy as you felt her tongue press against your panties, sloppily making out with your covered cunt. You couldn’t stop your moans and whimpers anymore, but you know your sweet sounds were music to your girl’s ears. You felt her move your panties to the side, now making full contact with your pussy. Her warm tongue moved up and down your lips, and brought you closer to your orgasm without any full on touches.

‘Do you like this?’ Isa asked you as she brought your fingers to your entrance, pushing in two at once, streching you. She felt your walls tightened against her fingers, and by the sounds you were making you definitely liked it. ‘More… more’ your mind went cloudly as her fingers combined with her tongue on your clit eventually made you cum on her face, having her drink it up instantly.

Coming up back to you, she gave you a kiss, making you taste yourself on her tongue. ‘how’d i do?’ she asked excitedly. How could you forget that the girl who ripped an orgasm out of you was actually the sweetest girl ever? You kissed her in response. ‘you did so good, baby, let’s sleep now’ she obliged, snuggling agaisnt you.

Maybe change wasn’t so bad.

[rustirr]

Au where Niki, Kohaku, and HiMERRU + Hiiro make a diss track about Rinne, Anzu finds it and wala, a new unit is formed!

☆-- ꒰ HiHi! Kenji here! Sorry for any spelling mistakes or grammar errors! This au probably makes zero sense and i haven't watched the anime, nor do I know much lore abt Crazy:B or ALKALOID so characterization is probably wrong and this is all probably extremely ooc, but I came up with this idea as soon as i was going to sleep at like, 4 am so ykyk ꒱ --☆

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

So basically, the rest of Crazy:B are just annoyed with Rinne, they're frustrated with him but they know that if they try to talk to him he probably won't care or apologize. As sorta a joke, Kohaku makes a small diss track on Rinne, Niki finds the idea fun and joins, and eventually HiMERU chimes in as well.

They all just keep the diss track as an inside joke, but Kohaku ends up showing it to Hiiro just to see what his reaction to it would be. Hiiro thinks it's a funny piece of banter, and decides to make a few bars as well. Kohaku is impressed with how well Hiiro can rap and they all decide to just start a silly rap group together, nothing official but songs they make for themselves to enjoy.

Anzu ends up finding it, and thinks it's hilarious. She says that they can actually make a rap group but only temporarily, all of them didn't expect this to really happen but they're pretty excited at the idea of making a rap group together and release songs they've worked hard on.

Like, as soon as the meeting Anzu had with them is over they all rush to Hiiro and Niki's shared dorm and basically have a sleepover where they gush about unit name ideas, costume ideas, and mew songs. Hiiro decides to name the original Rinne diss track 'Dethrone' since Rinne is the future king if their village. All of them think it's an amazing name. They all share a few laughs and stuff.

The next day Anzu calls them to her office and basically asks them if they want to start the unit, and they all say they do. Anzu is pretty cheerful about the whole situation, and she tells them to check hold-hands for any updates from her. After a bit Kohaku gets a message: he's the new unit leader of Hornet Poison!

He quickly tells everyone, and he's kind of nervous, he's the youngest out of all of them but he's happy that Anzu thinks he's capable of being a unit leader.

Hornet Poison is a four member idol unit, consisting of Kohaku Oukawa, Hiiro Amagi, HiMERU and Niki Shiina, and they're a unit under Cosmic Productions.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

On a day Crazy:B was supposed to have a live, nobody but Rinne appears on stage, suddenly all the lther members of Hornet Poison come on stage, all dressed in their unit uniforms. Rinne is obviously surprised, but he goes along with the flow of things.

The live basically goes like this: Kohaku explains who they are and why they're there. Hiiro adds to what Kohaku says. Both Niki and HiMERU start the sing or rap, and once Kohaku and Hiiro are done with what they're saying, rhey join in as well.

Rinne is just in absolute shock, but he really finds the whole thing funny and afterwards he buys the hornet poison gang ice cream.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

Random scene:

Kohaku: We're Hornet Poison, comin' at ya' fesh from the hive - here to dethrone the false rulers who call themselves royalty!

Hiiro: Dethroning old bees and entering as the new hivemind of the idol industry!

-Niki+HiMERU rapping starts-

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––

They've probably done the same to ALKALOID amd maybe Double Face, who knows, but everyone has a good laugh after each live. Also, KohaHii real, they smooch after each live!! Also, temporarily means 'Ygs just make songs, after a bit we can forget this ever happened' Rinne Diss Track never got released, but everyone in ES has a copy of it. After this, Hiiro and Rinne have random rap battles but it's just those cringy Roblox raps. Kohaku + Hiiro have mutual crushes on eachother, and Kohaku told HiMERU and Hiiro told Rinne, but they both try to get Kohaku and Hiiro to confess to each other (they never do)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

occurring to me spinning off of other ppl talking abt similar things like, oh right, i guess my always like repeatedly going over / coming back around on the same thing phrased slightly different (like perhaps offering up similar words / phrases in a row between slashes lol) could be a behavior as someone who, being autistic, is generally misunderstood / misinterpreted when i say something, so trying to express something every which way and also sort of "translating" it into an alternate phrasing even as i'm saying it as an effort to increase the chances of someone parsing what i actually mean, or god forbid their realizing that they might be misinterpreting or missing something and seek out clarification (unfortunately either way i have not solved ableism and the double empathy problem. go figure)

like i've definitely consciously gone over a point repeatedly b/c i'm not sure someone's listening even though they're giving verbal affirmative responses. and then afterwards anyways it's evident that, in effect, i may as well have not said anything at all

and when it comes to talking specifically i sure can do a lot of it, and quickly, and it's like, well on the one hand i might like to talk, In Theory, for all the eternal lack of and/or limited opportunities to like, actually talk, socially, b/c i want to, with people i want to talk with. wherein some of it is sometimes obviously like "yeah i haven't gotten to express myself verbally For Real in fifty centuries so there's a ton of it happening now" but wherein it's also like, that so often even in more ordinary "practical" exchanges it's like, you have 5 seconds to respond & anything beyond that will be ignored, but oh also what you're saying in the 5 seconds might be ignored / so misinterpreted you may as well not have said anything, when there's not just the double empathy matter but that people are only saying something At you and there's maybe like one or two exact ways for you to respond "correctly" and that's all that would be parsed. lot of [the conversation "moves on"] or [you're the person who just so happens to "tend" to be interrupted / talked over] or [people are focused on something else and will be wandering away in twenty seconds] so like, anything you have to say has to be said Now. and also that when i communicate spontaneously, even comfortably, i gotta keep up with it or i might lose whatever train of thought or forget whatever thing i was about to say a moment ago. while on the other hand i can also Select / Edit what i'm going to say but that kind of communication might take "too long" for [no time delay] exchanges, so, and/or be deemed Weirdly phrased anyways. and if i'm trying to convey a concept/idea to someone else through the medium of language and that means expressing it a dozen different ways all in a row? all the more reason to need to talk 500 mph to even try to fit it in with the three seconds i probably don't actually have.

thinking of that like, the idea of Performance / Acting seeming more natural like oh right, the organic experience of effectively masking / trying to do things "correctly"/"normally" in a bunch of different situations w/different people being like, of course that could feel like acting, you're not even simply cutting & pasting the same role or mode into things every time you mask, b/c it's about taking the cues from the specific people in whatever specific situations, despite the idea allistic ppl have that they follow Rules and have their certain Skills that serve them well across the communicating / socializing board and that's why ppl don't ignore/exclude/reject/ostracise/punish/etc them like they do autistic people, when really the only constant factor they're operating with that serves them across the board is [being allistic]. also the affinity for linguistics when you've Already had cause to look at language as a system and one you can work with and be creative with, while also analyzing for patterns in usage and formation and like, the external examples of how it's evolved and analyze and question how people have interpreted what some language has been used to convey, like, especially interested in translation in that way, wherein there's that truth of like, generally it's not one to one equivalents b/w languages and literal "no one else could possible translate it otherwise" options every time, and there's Always effort and flexibility in translating something more closely to what's being said and to how Your translation would be interpreted by a third party, and that in translating the same language in different ways, different translations might prioritize trying to more accurately translate different elements vs another translation's effort, to say nothing of how deliberate omissions or effective mistranslations can be made to edit whatever concepts and that could be "invisible" to people who can't translate directly themselves. sure not that far from what it feels like just engaging w/nt people verbally. autistic people being """pedantic""" when noting potential ambiguity / alternate interpretations of something, weird for enjoying wordplay or choosing Unusual words to use in their own verbal communication....linguistics. the theatrical experience of like, you mean being around people as friends isn't "supposed" to feel like a tense matter of Trying to Act Right that you can only fuck up and even if you succeed you're just locked into that exact tense performance going forward?

but also of course, linguistics / language / translation is fun and engaging to me and i've always been interested in words and i am beyond some idea that it'll make me more successfully understood by allistic ppl or something. theatre has always been so fun to me that i didn't even realize i loved it / had that strong interest for the longest time b/c i just kind of figured everyone would feel that way (i never really felt that affinity or even theoretical interest towards like, acting in film though, which i suppose is the more "normal" version of acting, and if i was just experiencing The Default anyways, surely i would've. also there's no default ofc) and whether i could Only have some like, lively theatricality as this automatic way i am, it sure happens v naturally / spontaneously, like i'd have a very hard time not using my hands to illustrate everything / kind of interact w/my own thoughts spatially in real time, or making Big Expressions lol, probably don't have that big affect otherwise, sometimes when i'm like masking and do an "oh haha :)" stock response to someone and i'm not facing them it's like, my expression Is very unchanged from :I in that moment. cue every last thing that's like, easily this super mundane understandable reality for disabled people that's some horror media's "creative" cue like my god this person is too Inhuman of course they're going to kill me....just an elevated version of affirming how "normal" people already disdainfully feel abt Others(tm) irl??? horror could never :0 lmfao....as ever that i don't mind the genre in theory based on [scary on purpose] but that i dislike & disrespect so many tendencies & specific examples i really may as well say i dislike it. i don't come up w/ideas much but thinking like, horror short where you're just minding your own business, everyone else also acting "normal," but at any time inexplicably ppl suddenly lash out at you w/open aggression before everyone's quickly right back to "normal" & you're just supposed to continue??? like, that's [so someone's abusive], that's [so you're autistic]. wild how that overlaps (it's not)

also footnote abt how i even remembered the other day though that like, it's never felt right using [drawing] to do anything autobiographical or even to try drawing myself. obviously i wouldn't say the [me] in my very specific niche gay fanart of a "so true so verisimilitudinous" autistic fave over & over is very elusive or fathoms below the surface, even when transformative ideas & canon are not at all simply all like "wow exactly me," but that feels like less of a Conscious Translation than like, a diary comic or something like that would be, or god forbid the like pensive short essay through comic / illustration. that feels like translation as Masking, basically, like the process would feel artificial and like only an effort to make something more appealing and more inaccurate anyways. and like, the other way i talk about myself or convey the ideas i want to convey is just by talking or writing casually, just like so. and i also just think it's obvious like, Immediate Appeal is for the theoretical idea that oh ppl can just mask their way to Normalcy or choose to act right & be (almost) as good as Normal anyways, lol. that i don't want to do anything that feels like yet more Unilateral Effort to communicate and by trying to adopt whoever else's terms. like ofc being myself looks more like [do you like 1000 drawings of an extremely niche interest?] or [do you tolerate reading Short Essays in these bursts of verbal expression?] or perhaps not communicating b/c in practice it's generally punishing and it's like, when also people generally dislike / don't connect to you it's back at them b/c what else would it be, nothing's actually been unilateral the entire gd time

oh also being funny / using comedy deliberately as a more successful way to communicate is definitely a whole thing i'm onto too, but that could have its own paragraphs on paragraphs and it's already half past three while i mean to do something else, so. but it's also similar to everything else re language, theatricality, lol

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: I'm the INFJ who posted this: 696854143537709056

Since then, I decided to take action and do some self reflection. I'm currently still struggling with making new friends out of the bubble that initially gave me anxiety, but It's working nonetheless. That's not why I'm here, though. I'm currently doubting whether or not I am truly an INFJ (I'm between INFJ and ISFJ), because what I thought were "hunches" might've been just my anxiety. I'll provide further examples below.

For INFJ:

Ni: I like to understand things in depth, I've always liked. The whole contemplative thing does seem to fit me kind of well, although I don't have the "Ni hunches" as often as others say they do. Thinking about implications and consequences is a constant state of mine. Comparing me to the ESFP I talked about previously; he switches goals and decides to talk to other people/do different things so quickly it amazes me. Honestly, I wish I was like that because I'm constantly asking myself "if I do X, then they make think Y, but wait…", although that might be my anxiety because it isn't my initial reaction (I'll talk abt this afterwards). I like to contemplate and understand because it allows me to perceive how the outcome will be.

Fe: I value others deeply, so much so that I can just switch my political opinions based on who I'm talking to because I'm afraid it might cause trouble. Being friends with everyone and having a big and reliable social network has always been a dream of mine, but I'm not action-based enough to dedicate myself to that, sadly. I always feel a need to people-please, but there's always a regret that comes with it. I want to be myself, but at the same time, it conflicts with the environment and I just feel completely lost (which is why I think I might have Fi).

Ti: Tertiaty Ti is a bit tough to talk about because I don't use it as often, and I'm not old enough to make it as conscious as I'd like to. I can see it in my life when I analyze others. For example, whenever I talk to someone, my mind is always looking for social cues and slight body language I logically interpret freely. I don't really feel the need to conform my thinking into a "social" box like Te users. For instance, when my INTJ friend sets her mind to something she literally never changes her mind and will try to prove her point until death. I'm way more flexible and open to new thoughts.

Se: Well, this is where my doubt comes from, mainly. I can't really distinguish Ni-Se from anxiety, because my anxiety already steems from thinking the ISTP/ESFP both don't like me. It already drives me to a passive stance because I fear that they spread rumors about me, or constantly shit on me, despite having no evidence besides body language, which, once more, may be biased considering my feelings. Some evidence that does support inferior Se is maybe my struggle with just letting things flow, but it might be anxiety. It's hard for me to, for example, just make jokes without thinking: "is it good? does it suck? should I say it? maybe not…" or straight up hugging people. I always wait for them to do it first. All of that is cuz I don't want to ruin our bond.

For ISFJ:

Si: I like the comfort zone. I find it hard to go out of my way to do things because the unknown makes me scared. For example, inviting friends over to my house, or going to parties always makes me scared because who knows what might happen there. Maybe our friendship isn't high enough to invite that person yet, maybe I'm going to bother my friends at parties because I'll be following them all the time and I might feel left out like I usually do. In any case, I'm not sure, because most of these reasonings also sorta make sense with INFJ/anxiety. I'm also not big on detail, I usually forget birthdays, etc. In any case, the examples I provided are just outcomes I can see happening in my head.

Ne: Once again, conflicts with anxiety. The party example, again. It's not that I fear the unknown, or I'm not optimistic, it's just that the pros are shadowed by my fear of being left out, unwanted. I want to help people, but I'm always terrified by the possibility that they don't like me, or don't want me because of evidence that some people don't really want to befriend me. It's not really evidence, to be honest, but it's what my mind convinces itself. The ESFP friend has so many people he knows and can befriend others so easily, but I can't. I'm always picky and scared of making the wrong choices like saying the wrong thing, or not being the "ideal" friend others want.

This is all so chaotic in my head because I know people want honest and authentic friends, but I always keep my real self to myself out of fear of having to make new friends all over again or having people that don't accept me because I don't fit the "popular" standarts. I'm pretty sure this points to high Fe, but I'd like your insight on this. Thanks for reading!

----------------------

The case you've tried to make for ISFJ is very weak and does not move beyond a very stereotypical understanding of Si and Ne, if not outright contradicting their existence. This is enough to convince me that you aren't ISFJ.

[astyrluna]

ok i gotta talk abt my bg3 playthough w/o twitters character limit cuz this has been on my mind

SO im at the beginning of act 2, into the shadow cursed lands. got through the beginning just fine, went to the last light inn, did all that, prevented isobel from being abducted (which im v proud of cuz i killed a handful of the winged beasts or w/e they were called and had cast lightning bolt to take some down, but then i realized u lost the encounter if isobel got knocked out and was like "well im not wasting a lv. 3 spell slot on this fight if shes just gonna get taken anyway" which quickly became "well in that case im not fuckin letting her get taken then!!!" and it took me 2 lightning bolts and astarion being downed like 4 times but i DID IT)

*ahem* anyway, i prevented isobel from being abducted, and the mission after that is finding out how the cultists traverse the shadow curse and doing the whole ambush. NOW i already knew there was a dialogue w/ kar'niss cuz ive seen clips from "evil" playthroughs where ppl were interqacting w/ him and ive also seen ppl simping for him (and just for the record: smash) so after just letting the ambush happen and initiating battle and seeing his level and hp, i was like "lets see if theres an easier way to do this"

so i reloaded and decided to make myself known. i lied that the absolute protected me and told kar'niss that she wanted me to have his lanturn, then told him to go on. cuz im a sorcerer, i took the option to fake a protection spell on them, and man. i did not fucking expect kar'niss' screams to be so gut-wrenching. my heart dropped hearing him plead. i dont regret it and i will be doing the same thing on future playthroughs where possible cuz its the easiest solution but that was. hard. to listen to. so now canonically thats the first time in the whole adventure that my tav felt actually sick abt something he did. i havent had a long rest since but ive decided that hes gonna have a convo w/ the companions like "i dont regret what i did, it got us what we needed without a fight, but i think that driders screams are going to haunt me for a long time." (but astarion and shadowheart approved so my boys gonna get some ~reassurance~ lmao)

and like. ive made it to the town whose name im forgetting and come across the toll collector and made her kill herself too and felt normal afterwards so its not that i made him basically kill himself, its specifically the sound of his screams that got me

also when i realized they showed back up as shadow cursed creatures right outside the toll house i reloaded again and went up onto the roof and just had astarion shoot them all from a distance. didnt even enter initiative w/ them AND it got us all to lv. 7. ty astarion, my hero *mwah*

and finally (and i did talk abt this on twitter but still) we found arabella at the gates to the graveyard. this fuckin kid. the first thing she does when we approach her is show off some INCANTATIONLESS MAGIC which immediately impresses the FUCK outta my sorcerer ass, tells me her parents are missing (and like. they were dead. i already knew they were gonna be dead. finding the bodies just confirmed it), THEN arabella tells me the only ppl she trusts are herself, her parents, and me, and tops this all off by calling me "hero-man" and running off to my camp like. congrats on the new big brother kiddo youve got him wrapped around your finger already. were both mephistopheles tieflings (presumably. she is also blue skinned), were both magic, like cmon. thats my tavs kid sister

and speaking of finding her parents bodies, actually, the whole conversation w/ the nurse "tending" to them is just...profoundly sad. i ended up choosing the deception choice and saying like "oh i see now, theyre deeply asleep" and the nurse says like "i knew these hands wouldnt fail me" like oh...sweetie...no...

(that didnt quite hit me like kar'niss' screaming did, it just left me feeling sad. for her, for the whole situation. i havent gone back to camp to tell arabella yet, im still 'splorin)

also i found the true love rings. ofc i put one on astarion and the other on my tav. i havent even got to the true confession yet lmao. you dont even know how excited i am for that. god i such a fuckin simp

OH SHIT ONE LAST THOUGHT: I GOT TO FUCKING HUG KARLACH!!!!!!!! LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you have NO IDEA how happy i was when she got the upgrade and one of the options was "pull her into a hug" i was sat there SCREAMING in joy for a solid 30 seconds before actually doing it, and then a further 2 minutes after LMAO

i just wish there was an option to pull dammon in on the hug. man deserves it. we love this dude

[ichorai]

supervillains and unicorn bags ; j.wy

requested by @minghaofilm (36 + villain au) for my milestone celebration !!

pairing ; villain!wooyoung x scientist!reader (gender-neutral)

summary ; concocting superhuman serums late at night was your job. dealing with an obnoxiously sparkly villain, however, was most definitely not.

themes ; fantasy, comedy, action, scientist au, villain au, superhero au

words ; 1.8k

warnings / includes ; cursing, weapons, one vaguely suggestive joke, a sLAP, handcuffs, wooyoung being a liddol shit and dresses gothcore x kidcore, surprise guest at the end :D yes he also appeared in gsabb <3

a/n ; my favorite piece i've written for my milestone event yet !! this is set in the same universe of goldstorm and bug boy! but can still be read separately :D wanna thank @subways-stuff for letting me ramble abt this fic cries

masterlist. fanart by @subways-stuff <3

You never worked this late. Not once in your life had you been in the lab past seven in the afternoon. Sure, your hours were long and winded, starting far before the sun crept out of hiding, but you’ve never been kept here for longer than you needed to be. Everybody had gone home, back to their families, probably having dinner or watching late night television. It was the weekend tomorrow, after all.

The lab was eerie when quiet. You could hear the sound of your own heartbeat thundering in your ears.

I’ll go home after cross-infusing the last mutated virus strains, you mused whilst pushing away from the microscope with a lethargic sigh. Who knew concocting variants of superhuman serum from scratch would take so much out of you?

The artificial glow from the lights flickered above you, momentarily suspending the room in a shroud of shadows. You blinked once, and they flashed back on shortly afterwards. That was strange. The bulbs were just changed a week ago, you were there when the handymen came.

Something felt off. The air tasted stale.

Your suspicions were only confirmed when the doors to the lab flung open with a resounding bang, your head snapped up so quickly you were surprised you hadn’t given yourself whiplash.

Please just be Yeosang. Did he forget his jacket? Oh, shit, I don’t see any jackets laying around.

It was safe to say that the man standing by the doorway wasn’t anywhere close to your dry-witted coworker. He wore an extravagant eye sore of a villain's get up, a mesh between something you’d find on backhand EBay and dark leather that clung a little too tightly to his form. His tendrils were combed back, a faded blonde with the roots remaining dark as night. Purple eyeshadow with flecks of golden dust ringed his eyes, crinkled from his malicious grin. What was this, Doctor Strange? Was that a bejeweled collar he was wearing? Were those rhinestones on his boots?

You reared backwards at the sight of the… sparkly newcomer.

“Hands up!” he commanded with a beguiling smile, both his nail-polished hands raising to clasp together into a shooting position. “Just kidding, I don’t have a gun. Unless you count these.” The strange man pointed to his biceps with a salacious wink. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes.

“Who are you?” You were pleasantly surprised to find your voice steady, unafraid.

An eyebrow arched as he practically screeched out, “You don’t know me? What, have you been living under a rock?”

You honestly didn’t take any offense to his question because you really didn’t have much of a social life outside the lab. Working for superheroes expectedly forced you into a reclusive lifestyle. So, you shrugged with a slight grin, amused at his worked up state.

“Well, I’m Wooyoung. My villain name is Vaurien. Cool, right? Got that off of a random name generator. I think it’s French or something.”

You remained silent.

“I’m the man that stole the Eiffel Tower?”

You vaguely remembered that.

“I turned the Statue of Liberty neon green.”

You might have recalled seeing them talk about that on the news. It hurt your eyes seeing it on the screen, so you turned it off.

“I replaced the Great Wall of China with legos.”

You had to admit, that was funny.

None of that answered your question, though. Not really. “What do you want?” you finally asked, exasperated. Wooyoung seemed affronted by your lack of reaction at all the wondrously evil feats he’s committed, but he was quick to get over it when you shrugged your lab coat off. “I’m tired and I still have a lot of work to do. If you want to steal some chemicals, I’m sure we have some in the back storage for you. I’ll even hand you a key if you’d like.”

The flaxen-headed villain planted his fists onto his hips and glared at you. “First of all, that wouldn’t be stealing, that would just be you giving me what I want. Where’s the fun in that?” This time, you didn’t hold back the irked eye-roll. “Second, I’m looking for something a bit more valuable than ingredients for baking soda volcanoes… even though those were fun to make. Ever heard of superhuman serum?”

Raw terror clung to your bones, a sickly paste of darkness. In the wrong hands, this serum could destroy society as you knew it. He was a world-renowned villain (apparently), asking for the serum you’ve dedicated your life’s work to. Was now a good time to call for Captain Jongho? Would he be able to get you before you made a run for your phone laying across from you on the counter?

“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Wooyoung wrinkled his nose. “I like it when you lie to me.”

You weren’t quite sure what to say to that.

The sinking feeling in your stomach only worsened when he pulled out a gun一a real one一and held the sleek grey firearm steady, aimed right between your forehead. “Do you like it when I lie to you?”

You clenched your jaw, before swivelling your head to the sealed safe hidden behind a dozen passcodes and iron doors and ID keycards. “It’s down in the basement. Come with me.”

His eyes felt like daggers on the back of your neck.

“Stop staring at me.”

“Why? Do I make you nervous?” You didn’t appreciate the challenging tone in his inquiry, so you didn’t bother gracing him with a response.

Your fingers hurried to key in the last of the passwords onto the computer, a flustered flush dancing up your skin.

“CaptainJonghoCanThrowMeOffABridge666? That’s your password?” The supervillain cackled with gleeful laughter, doubling over whilst clutching at his stomach and propping himself by slinging an arm over your shoulder. You shrugged him off with an annoyed grumble. “Didn’t peg you as the type to have a crush on your boss.”

“He’s not my boss,” you were quick to reply, moving your eyes from the screen to gaze at Wooyoung defiantly. “I just work under him.”

“Hm, I bet you do,” Wooyoung commented snidely, to which you scowled.

Whatever scathing words you held on your tongue dissipated away when the large metal doors of the lab’s foolproof safe slid open a second later, revealing aisles upon aisles of different versions of superhuman serum. There went the days and nights where you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into working, all down the drain.

“You’re a peach, sweetheart,” Wooyoung gripped your fingers, pressing an over-exaggerated kiss to the back of your hand. A small part of you was amused at the faint lipstick mark he left on your skin, but your common sense ripped your limb away from him, instinctively arcing your palm through the air to swiftly land a resounding slap to his cheek. It probably hurt less than a dull flick to the supervillain, but he staggered backwards from pure shock. He cradled the cheek you had hit, staring at you with something akin to awe.

Then, a smile blossomed across his mouth. You hated how handsome he looked just then.

“I like you,” he said, then promptly rotated to stuff all the vials into a sparkly unicorn bag you hadn’t even noticed him holding.

You moved to follow after him, but let out an enraged groan when you found yourself tethered to the computer desk. The metal clamp was cold around your wrist. The kiss was a distraction to cuff you! You should’ve known.

“Sorry about that,” Wooyoung sent you a wink when he sauntered out, the safe now void of serum and his absurd bag bulging to the point of almost breaking. “The cuffs auto-unlock. They’ll come off in an hour.”

Pain flourished in your mouth as you physically bit down on your tongue to refrain from spitting out obscenities.

“A thank you would be nice.” You swung a kick to his shin, but he danced away before your shoe could land against his expensive leather suit. When he stuck his tongue out childishly, you could swear there was steam coming out of your ears. It surprised you when he took his gun and placed it right beside you on the table, a mischievous gleam in his molten irises. “I lied to you again. A teensy, tiny white lie. The gun isn’t loaded.”

This time, you didn’t stop the curses and obscenities from tumbling past your lips, tugging at your cuff as hard as you could. You willingly gave up a fortune’s worth of serum because he pointed an empty gun at your forehead! You’ve never felt more foolish in your life. “You fucking bastard! You won’t get away with this! Captain Jongho will find you, you know!”

“I’ll make sure to say hello to your boyfriend, then.”

“He’s not一!” you huffed, abruptly pausing yourself. “Fuck you, Vaurien. That serum doesn’t belong to you.”

Wooyoung bit down on his lip, staving away a bright smile. “You're right. It belongs to us.”

Confusion marred your features, but quickly faded away once another man materialized beside him.

“San!” Wooyoung exclaimed jovially. “I was just saying goodbye to the lovely Y/N here.”

The other man bore a striking resemblance to the infamous villain always making headlines on newspapers and appearing on television almost weekly. Last you saw of him, he had dark purple strands of hair, found by the police and tied up by the heroes Goldstorm and Spiderman. However, the strands on his head were cropped short and dark as ebony, complimenting the unnaturally green glow of his eyes. It didn’t take a genius to piece two and two together. He broke out of jail.

What did Vaurien and San want with the serum? What would Captain Jongho think of you for letting them get away with it?

“I thought we agreed not to use the unicorn bag?” San asked, but quickly waved the question away. “Doesn’t matter now. Thanks for the help, Y/N. We’ll be back soon.”

“We will?” Wooyoung brightened up (though you weren’t quite sure how that was possible), and swiveled his eyes to you. “You heard that? This isn’t the last you’ll see of me.”

A bitter taste climbed up the back of your throat. “What an honor,” you spat out, dripping with sarcasm. Wooyoung’s grin only seemed to expand three-fold at your hateful disposition.

The two villains disapparated with naught another word in a flash of green light (but Wooyoung did send you another obnoxious flying kiss just before doing so, which you pointedly ignored). You wondered what Yeosang’s face would look like when he walks into the lab on Monday. What about Captain Jongho? You presumed you’d call him as soon as the cuffs unlocked themselves. Another deep-timbered groan exhausted your lungs as you dropped your head onto the table.

You were in deep shit now.

[lacharcutiere]

ur my favorite drug & my worst hangover [nsfw 18+, terushima yūji]

5,9k words

✯haikyuu!! masterlist✯

winter sem break brings the new year, & a few other new developments too.

smut, tiny bit of angst, fwb, fluff // quit - lil aaron & travis barker. god this song goes so hard

the way all i talk abt is how much i love teru but have nothing to show for it— yeah we’re gonna fix that. man i love him

☾𓆙𓂻

— SOBER

the soft hum of the tv in the background slowly fades into your awareness as you blink blearily awake, almost forgetting where you are for a second.

you’re in yūji’s living room, duh. your semestral break has not been nearly as interesting as either of you’d hoped: instead, you’ve both succumbed to alternating between each other’s childhood homes, binging netflix and random youtube videos and eating chips and tubs of ice cream late into the night, as has been your custom for years.

it’s dim but for the glow of the screen, and it’s kind of chilly in here now, even with you wrapped up in a hoodie. (yours, not yūji’s. you only borrow his in emergencies.)

he’s not next to you now, but his footsteps—you know them by now: quick and kind of heavy but not overbearingly loud—are entering the room again, and you feel the sofa cushions dip a little as he retakes his seat next to you.

“hey,” he says, smiling, “you’re awake.”

“hmmph,” you mumble, sitting upright to stretch your back. “what time is it?”

“uh.” he squints at the digital clock next to the tv. “like one?”

“‘m cold.”

“me too.”

“‘nd tired.”

“you just woke up?”

“i’m tired,” you whine.

yūji groans. “you’re really gonna make me go to sleep this early?”

“you don’t have to sleep, but i will.”

“yeah,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “but who’s gonna keep me company then?”

“i dunno,” you shoot back, “text tetsu or something. he’s probably still up.”

he rolls his eyes but relents, standing from the sofa. “fine.” and he holds out a hand to help you up, which you don’t take.

“i can do shit for myself,” you joke, rolling your eyes.

“right.”

—

it’s not much warmer in his room despite the thermostat supposedly being set to an acceptable temperature, but at least the sleeping bag on the floor next to yūji’s bed is insulated, and he’s given you a couple extra blankets for which you’re grateful. the biting chill of january does not fuck around.

so you nestle yourself into a little cocoon of linens and pillows and pull your hood up, curling into a ball in an effort to conserve your body heat. you hear him laugh a little as he watches you.

“what?”

“nothing.”

there’s the light hum of a phone ringing a few times, and that little beep as tetsu picks up the facetime call.

sleep clouds your senses to the background music of stifled laughter and loud whispers and the occasional static of yūji’s phone speaker.

— BUT U PULLED ME CLOSER

the next few minutes, hour—you have no idea—pass just like that, with you drifting languidly in and out of sleep and the sounds of yūji and tetsurō’s voices audible but incomprehensible in the background.

last you remember, you’re slipping back under again, hearing tetsu through the staticky iphone speaker.

and then you wake up again because you’re fucking freezing and it’s quiet and the lights are off, except for the little reading light mounted to the headboard of yūji’s bed. you sit up on your elbows, craning your neck, and see that he’s still up, lying on his stomach with his phone dimly illuminating his face.

“what time’s it?” you mumble.

“uh... 2:38.” he pauses. “y’alright?”

“cold,” you say.

he locks his phone then, and he just looks at you kind of blankly and maybe a little mockingly? except it must not be mocking; it must be something else, because he’s just kind of... studying you.

you look back up at him expectantly. “what?” you say.

he sighs, kind of rolls his eyes, turns away from the light to hide the little smile playing on his lips. “come on up here.” he scoots over and pats the spot next to him.

thankful for an extra source of body heat and blankets and pillows, you shove yourself up off the ground and shuffle over to the bed.

it’s kind of funny, the way you’re basically adults now and yet your relationship’s still fundamentally the same as it was when you met years ago.

—

duh, yūji hates that. it’s true, that whole thing about how “every one of your guy friends has thought about fucking you at some point.” it’s true, at least for him.

and there’s something electric in how you haven’t slept next to him in months because you’ve both been busy with school, and now you’re back here. back here, where it feels like you belong.

there’s something deep in his chest that’s set aflame by the way you laugh and let him tuck the comforter over you; the way your sweatpant-covered legs brush against his own underneath it.

he wants to touch you.

he wants to wrap his hand around your thigh and pull it over his own; to run his fingertips up the length of your arm and make you shiver; to snake his around your waist and pull your head into his chest.

maybe he will once you’re asleep, he figures. once his pride can’t be hurt because you don’t have to know.

except... except he’d let it be hurt for you. without a moment’s hesitation. he would shatter it himself for you, would let you take him in your fingers and rip him to pieces too small to be puzzled back together.

because maybe he doesn’t just want you. maybe he loves you.

but even he, completely truthfully, doesn’t know.

he’s got a sneaking suspicion that he does, though, because he’s rarely confused and this is an enigma he can’t quite seem to decipher, no matter what he tries.

it’s absurd, too, he realizes laying on his back next to you, how suddenly he’s afraid to touch you. because the two of you have always been touchy, that’s just you. you’re two halves; you’re so similar. you’ve been attached at the hip since childhood—why is it different now, now that he wants that more than anything?

so here he is, spiraling in this conundrum of feelings, when it’s cut short by you, tiredly whining, “yūji.”

“what?” he sort of feigns annoyance.

“‘m cold.”

“and?”

and. and his breath catches because you roll over and latch onto him. and he brings his arms around your shoulders and holds you to his chest.

so close, and yet so far away.

and he shudders as you lay one hand flat on his chest. it belongs there forever.

you nuzzle your nose into his shoulder and inhale his scent and his brain short-circuits.

has she done this before?

and mostly unconscious, you mumble, “—warm. y’re pretty’.” his eyes go wide.

“what?”

your arms tighten around him, and he’d hate to admit it, but it’s setting him off. he’s... a little hard.

a hand settles itself on your thigh, the one that’s draped over his legs, and he pushes it downward a little, so that it’s not resting next to the rising erection in his pajama pants.

god, he wants to fuck you so badly right now, he wants for you to feel him throbbing between your legs as you whimper against his skin. but he also wants you to want him.

miraculously, a little sigh escapes your lips at the touch. so he doesn’t move his hand.

“feels nice,” you whisper.

so he decides to test the waters, and squeezes gently. you giggle sleepily.

inhibitions dissipating for a moment, his stomach leaps to his chest and he snakes that hand up over your hip, consciously avoiding your ass just in case, and rests it on your back, rubbing up and down slowly.

his chest constricts as you snuggle even closer to him. and then your leg moves back up and your thigh nudges his crotch.

your eyes snap open and he inhales sharply.

and then you’re propped up on your elbow, leaning over him.

he curses himself for forgetting to turn off the light; the flush in his cheeks is obvious.

half terrified and half excited, he watches as your face breaks into a wide, shit-eating grin.

“what?” he breathes.

your eyes narrow; a look of mischief he’s so familiar with, one that’s often mirrored on his own features. (it’s not now.)

“yūji,” you say, singsong and bright, “what’s this?”

and—oh, god, oh, fuck—you bring a hand down to rest on his dick, tenting in his pajamas.

he doesn’t know what to say to you.

“i— uhm—”

“hmm,” you hum. “y’ alright?”

he clears his throat, nods. “are— uh, are you?”

“mhm,” you laugh, wide awake now. “yūji...” you pause. he can’t stand it; he needs to know what happens next, needs to know what’s fanning the flames behind your eyes.

oh god. oh god, all he leaves is a breath in between and then you’re throwing your leg over him again and, fuck, you’re straddling him. he lets out a shaky breath, voice tight as he chokes out, “what are you doing?”

the smile is gone from your face now, replaced with something softer, something lustful. your hands move to his shoulders to balance yourself as you grind your hips down, and a low ahh slips out of him.

it’s just like that, just your clothed bodies rubbing together. he comes embarrassingly quickly in his boxers, but he lets you ride his thigh until you finish as recompense.

afterward, he excuses himself and cleans himself off in the bathroom. when he comes back, you’re sound asleep again.

that’s all that happens.

— UR GONNA FUCK ME UP

following that, everything proceeds as it had before. neither of you bother to speak of it, but nothing even seems off between you at all. it’s as if it never happened.

or maybe, yūji sometimes allows himself to think as he touches himself to the memory in the middle of nights when you’re not together, it’s like it was meant to happen.

what a wonderful illusion that is.

because he knows it won’t work, and if you ever thought about him like that, you would know, too.

the two of you have watched each other fall in love—get dumped, ghost people, whatever—several times over the past few years. he remembers your first boyfriend, your last year of middle school: the guy had been a mutual friend that you’d been crushing on for months. and yet, when you’d finally become a thing, it had taken no more than a couple of weeks for you to grow uninterested and dump him.

it’s not like he hasn’t done similar things in the past.

and it’s not like some people who’ve dated either of you haven’t had better luck; there have been several who have been the ones to break your hearts.

but both of you have yet to have maintained a long-term relationship, and neither of you have kept in contact with many of your exes.

he doesn’t want to be another one of those, and he certainly doesn’t want you to be, either.

—

it’s maybe a week after that night when you pick him up to go get takeout and ice cream.

that, in itself, is a pretty normal thing.

but then you’re sitting in your car, and between spoonfuls of mocha chip and hot caramel, you say, “so i saw this thing.”

“hm?” he responds, his mouth still full.

“your aura is striking, dude,” you quote. there’s a pause as you try to suppress a giggle. and then: “can i kiss you deeply, bro?”

he snorts and jokes, “anytime you want.” and he really hopes that you take his tone at face value, but he also knows you way better than that.

so he’s only half surprised when you actually do. half surprised, and wholly in awe.

your hands are in each other’s hair. it’s quick—feverish, but quick—and the first thing you say when you pull back is, “tastes like sugar.”

he laughs again, unsure of what move to make next. “yeah?”

and then you’re... shy? because you look away from him, back down to the cup of ice cream in your lap, and you say, “you feel good.” it’s so low that it’s almost unintelligible. but he hears you.

both your faces are burning when you look back up at him. “should we talk about that?”

“‘bout what? kissing? ‘s not the first time.”

it isn’t—he kissed you once in middle school, because there was this other girl that he’d thought was pretty, and he wanted to make her jealous. it hadn’t worked; she’d just thought the two of you were together, and a teacher had scolded you for pda. but at least it had been a fun story to laugh at for a while after.

this is obviously different, though, and you both know that. this kiss wasn’t to make anyone jealous. this one was for yourselves.

and anyway, that’s not what you meant by that.

“no,” you say. “the um... last week. at your place.”

“oh, yeah.”

“should we, um, do you wanna talk about it?”

“d’you?”

you shrug.

“alright,” he says. pauses. “so... what was that about?”

and you almost laugh incredulously. “you’re asking me?”

he stares blankly.

“you’re the one who got a boner when we were cuddling, yūji. as if we’ve never done that before.” you notice the mortified look on his face, and your expression softens and your voice lowers. “you wanna tell me what that was about? you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

and he laughs nervously and says, “no, no, ‘s fine. i was just kinda horny, that’s all. i haven’t hooked up with anyone in a while, y’know?”

you give him a sardonic grin. “and that’s why it only took you, like, three minutes to come?”

“yeah... yeah,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck.

a moment passes where you stop and think for a little, and then you turn back to look at him. “it was, uh, good, though. like, objectively. it was good.”

it’s his turn to flash a grin at you: “‘course it was. it’s me.”

“and me.”

“shoulda won the sex gods superlative in last year’s yearbook.”

“ha.” another thing crosses your mind: “and now look at us. too busy with school to even have time to fuck anyone.”

yūji doesn’t say anything, so you do it for him.

you start out carefully. “but...”

“but?”

“do you— i mean. we’ve got, like, what? three weeks left before we go back? and we’re stuck here. and— and we already hang out like every single day anyway, and. uh. and it was objectively good.”

“are you—”

“and i’ve known you for years. come on. there’s, like, nothing i could do to embarrass myself around you anymore.”

friends with benefits. you’re suggesting that you temporarily be friends with benefits.

“and it wasn’t weird after last time,” you add. “i think.”

“hm,” he says, “yeah, no, it wasn’t.”

his first instinct is to say no, to tell you it’s a bad idea. but as he thinks about it more, he realizes that you’re kind of right. and anyway, what is the worst that could happen? because he’s pretty sure he’s far gone enough for you that falling a little further wouldn’t change a thing. even if he weren’t, he’d never think of hurting you intentionally.

and, he figures, he’d hardly mind being hurt by you.

—

that is how you end up back in his bed an hour later—his parents are out on a date this evening; you’ve got until a few hours past sundown to fuck and clean yourselves off and make it look like you’ve been eating and talking and watching tv the whole time.

outside of the guise of midnight impulses, it is a strange—but also strangely pleasant—thing to be having sex with your best friend.

there’s no pretense, hardly any need to keep up appearances (at least, for you). you’re not strangers only concerned with your own pleasure; you know each other. despite never actually having done this before, he already knows what you like, and vice versa.

it’s nice.

it’s nice to hear him laugh when you whine for him to stop being so gentle, vanilla-ass bitch, only to have him call you a “horny little—” (to which you respond, no, you.)

and it’s nice to sleep with someone who reads all the cues you give him without you even needing to say anything.

it is possibly the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

it is possibly the best sex you’ve ever had in your life, and... it might not be just because of the dynamic between you two, or the fact that you don’t have to be afraid to tell him what you like and what you don’t—the fact that you don’t even have to tell him at all.

it’s nice. for you. and it’s hell for him.

it’s hell for him to have to hold back all the sweet nothings he wants to whisper in your ear—he’s restricted to you like that, huh, baby? and fuuuck and god, you’re so fucking tight, and he knows you’re into it, but he wants to be treating you like a princess right now. he wants to call you his, wants to whisper, tell me you’re all mine against your bare shoulders, wants to tell you he loves you.

so... he does love you.

but he can’t say that. he knows he can keep you around, but you’re not his to keep.

—

it continues like that for the next several days: you fuck, it’s good sex, and he’ll touch himself to the memories if you’re not there: memories of how you taste, of the softness of your skin, of you with your legs around his waist and your bare chests pressed together, damp and warm with sweat.

it is so gratifying, and even more painful.

and then, one day, as he’s fucking you in your childhood bedroom—all white walls covered in sketches and colorful postcards you’ve accumulated over the years—something is slightly off.

there’s something about it that feels more intimate than the other times, and it goes slower than before. it’s not all lust and clothes tossed haphazardly on the floor and bodies shoved hurriedly into mattresses.

you kiss him for a long time before any clothing comes off, and you keep pulling him back to your lips as he thrusts into you. you’re not urging him faster, more, harder; you let him keep a steady pace and arch your back into the sheets as you lie underneath him.

it hits him as you come down from your orgasm and writhe in his arms, softly moaning, “god, yūji, i l—”

he stops.

“don’t say that,” he says.

still shaking and catching your breath, you respond, “what?”

“just don’t.” but his tone is casual, and so you don’t think much of it.

—

you don’t hook up every time you hang out, and yeah. you were right. it’s hardly different than before. except, isn’t it?

you’re sitting on opposite sides of your sofa one morning after your parents have left for work—he slept over the previous night, but you didn’t have sex. you’d spent it laughing over the dumbest things and blasting music as you drove around without a destination.

your’re sitting with your knees pulled against your chest, scrolling lazily on your phone while you and yūji eat handfuls of cereal straight from the box between you.

it’s mostly quiet for once; comfortably silent. neither of you have ever really been a morning person.

— BUT U KNOW I LIKE IT

the ice cracks a little when he stops shoving your hand away to grab himself another handful of cereal. you notice, and then you wonder if you always noticed little things like that, because it feels kind of weird to. not that you mind.

meanwhile, yūji watches you, studying the way your hair falls messily around your face, the way one sleeve of your sweatshirt is rolled halfway up your forearm and the other is pulled all the way over your hand.

the living room is bright, surrounded by windows, and you’re illuminated by light yellow late-morning sunlight all around and he feels safe looking at you.

the ice cracks a little more when he says your name softly.

“hm?” you say, confusedly looking up at him.

“nothing,” he answers, too quickly. “i’m just... happy right now.”

you smile, radiant. “i’m glad you are.”

—

in the afternoon, you’ve grown bored and are wandering the streets of your neighborhood, voicing thoughts and pointing out people you pass by.

it’s still early, but it’s january, so the sun is already beginning to set.

when you’re a couple minutes out from your house, yūji goes quiet, and it stays like that for the rest of the walk.

and then, as he stands next to you while you unlock the door, he blurts, “i have to tell you something.”

you freeze. “what?”

it’s silent for a bit. “never mind.”

“yūji—”

“it’s okay,” he says softly.

he wants to shrink away from your gaze as you study him. he knows you know there’s something amiss, and second thoughts have almost always been his own personal hell.

graciously, though, you don’t ask. and it’s like stepping through a portal when you’re back inside; it’s all forgotten and back to how it was before.

—

but: a little while later, you’re lying side-by-side on your bed watching netflix again, and for whatever reason you turn to look at him for a moment and it’s just—

you can’t look away. and you don’t know why.

he can feel your eyes on him and it burns, and he wonders how much longer he can keep this up before he loses his mind.

when he doesn’t turn to face you, you call his name softly.

“hm?”

after an uncomfortable moment of hesitation, you say, “something’s up.”

“what?”

“yūji,” you repeat, and he forgets to breathe for a second. “are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

the mattress shifts under his weight as he sits up, resting his head in his hands. he takes a deep breath and can’t bring himself to meet your eyes.

“what’s wrong?” it sounds less like a question and more like a plea.

“i—” he starts, and then stops himself. “i can’t, i can’t do this to you.”

“can’t do what?”

there’s a painful silence, heavy with anticipation and maybe a little bit of dread.

“i don’t wanna keep hooking up with you.”

you sit up, too.

“did i...? do something wrong?”

he shakes his head and sighs, and he sounds exasperated. “it’s... no, it’s— i think...” and he seems to grow more frustrated as he fails to verbalize whatever it is, this strange cold fire stinging in the pit of his stomach.

“what do you think?” you whisper.

and he stands and walks to the door. his hand rests on the knob and he whispers back, in a voice that sounds precariously close to breaking, “you, when i... y’know. ’m sorry.”

and he’s gone.

and you have no idea what to think, both of what he just said and the fact that it sends an excited buzz through your nerves, even though it probably shouldn’t.

— IT'S HARD N IT'S HARDER TO ADMIT

his words are stuck in your head all night, have you caught somewhere in between laughing and crying.

you want to call him, ask him what the fuck is going on and why you think you kind of like it, but you don’t.

but when you look over at your alarm clock to see that it’s 2:00 a.m. and sleep refuses to let you succumb to it and you relent to the warm emptiness between your legs, it’s yūji whom you imagine is there to fill it.

you think of the way his tongue trails down the expanse of your neck, the way he feels inside you, as you whine into your pillow and desperately try to make yourself come.

it doesn’t even occur to you until later, when you’re waking up to sunlight slicing through your half-open blinds. and then it does, and you text him: i do that too.

he doesn’t text back, but ten minutes later, your phone rings. he sounds breathless.

“be here in ten,” he says.

you pause. “okay.”

and you are. he throws open the door as he hears your car pull up and jogs out to meet you, and all he gives you is a quick, “hey,” before dragging you inside.

there’s no one else home, so he motions for you to have a seat at the kitchen table and takes the one next to you.

“do what too?”

“what?”

“what you texted me.”

you look down, studying the seams of your sleeve and feeling your breathing go shallow.

“do what too?” he repeats.

and softly, you say, “want you.”

yūji stands, pulling you to your feet with him. “want me how?”

your eyes are wide and a little bit sad as you stare up at him. “i don’t know.”

then he cracks a tiny smile. “good,” he says, “i don’t either.

except he does.

he wants you every way, your presence, your time, your body, your fucking soul, all of it. but he doesn’t say that.

when you kiss him, he implodes, melts into your arms as if he’s trying to fuse your bodies together. but he says nothing of it.

the feeling of your wrist in his hand, the sound of your giddy giggles as he leads you to his bedroom—for now, that’s enough.

he takes it slow.

when he’s shut the door and ensured it’s locked, he turns to find you’ve already tossed your top on the floor.

a smile meets yours, gentle fingertips on your cheek, a soft whisper against your hair: “put it back on; i wanna do it myself.”

and you laugh and oblige, shivering at the now-familiar sensation of the warm metal bead on his tongue against your lip as his hand finds its way to your ass and squeezes gently.

“yūji,” you whisper.

“i like it when you say my name like that,” he murmurs into your shoulder, rubbing gently up and down your back underneath your shirt.

“hmm,” comes your contented response.

and then his fingers are rubbing gently against the hem of your shirt, easing it up to reveal your body inch by inch, and you shiver a little under his feather-light touch.

lifting your arms up, you allow him to slip your shirt back over your head, and then his hands are all over you again, squeezing your breasts through your bra and tracing lines up and down the center of your back. the little metal ball on his tongue presses against your lower lip. you tug at the hem of his hoodie, and he pulls it off.

the feeling of his skin on yours is nothing new now, and yet this time, there’s a certain nuance to it that he can’t place.

he wonders how you want him again; can’t stop wondering as you lead his hand down to the button on your jeans, laughing a little as he kneels at your feet to unzip them.

as he pulls them slowly down your legs he lines your thighs with little, butterfly-soft kisses, murmuring unintelligible praises.

when you’re left in only your bra and panties, he wraps his arms around your waist and falls backward onto the mattress, taking you down with him. you sit up a little, so that you’re straddling him, and he lets out a low sigh.

“you are fucking incredible,” he breathes as you suck gently at his neck, leaving light marks that will have faded by tomorrow.

your fingers trace the dips between his abs, tantalizingly, eventually making their way all the way down his stomach to the waistband of his sweats, and then a little further, palming his dick through them and feeling how fucking hard he is.

he groans a little, says, “please don’t tease me,” as you continue to do exactly that, but he doesn’t stop you.

when you shift a little so that you’re positioned right over him, soaking panties rubbing a tiny little wet spot into the tent of his erection, he sits up and gathers your body into his arms, lips and tongue moving against yours as one hand unclips your bra while the other settles itself on your hip, grinding you down against him. you press your thighs together at this feeling of pure need you’re experiencing and he pulls his mouth away and looks you in the eye.

“may i?” he whispers, and you smile and nod, laughing as he rolls you off of him to rid himself of the rest of his clothes and dig a condom out of his bedside table, which he hands to you.

you’re impatient as you tear it open but force yourself to roll it onto him slowly, studying his face as he revels in the feeling of your fingers grazing lightly against his dick.

once it’s on, he flips you over again, laughing, and exhales slowly as he slides your panties down your legs and tosses them somewhere on the floor to be found later. his fingertips ghost gently down the sides of your thighs as he bends down to lick a long stripe between your legs and across your clit.

“fuck,” you breathe as he groans softly against your skin, the vibrations sending an electrifying buzz up your spine.

he presses his tongue flat against you, metal bar circling your clit teasingly, and then he pulls away and groans, “sit on my face,” his words hurried and slurred with lust.

so you let him move to lie on his back and straddle his face, giggling as he wraps his hands around your thighs to pull you closer.

“aw, don’t be shy, i thought that’s the whole point of this,” he says.

and then his mouth is back on you again, tongue flicking slowly and carefully, taking in your every response, and soon he’s got you shaking on top of him, grasping at the headboard and his shoulders and tangling your fingers in his hair.

he keeps going after you’ve already finished, making you writhe and whimper, only letting go of you once he’s satisfied.

he pushes you backward so that you’re still sitting with your knees on either side of him and he sits up, leaning back against the headboard. his lips are on yours, then, and he’s pulling your hips to his, the head of his cock nudging ever-so-lightly against your entrance.

“quit teasing me,” you whine when he grips your waist, refusing to let you sit yourself on his dick.

“i’m not.”

“yes you are!”

“‘m not,” he mumbles, smiling, as he draws his lips down the curve of your left shoulder and back up again. “i’m savoring the moment.”

you huff. “you can savor it with your cock in me.” and yūji does his best not to show it, but the high he gets from those words alone, from knowing how desperate you are for him, even if it’s just for his body, sends him straight to heaven. because regardless of how much of him you want, it’s still only him that you want in this moment, and right now that’s enough.

you allow him to move at his own pace, his movements slow, languid as he holds you to his chest, one hand around your waist and the other reaching up to tangle his fingers in your hair. he lets himself say the things he wants now.

“kiss me?” he whispers, and you oblige happily. you taste like him, and he’s so content he could lose his mind.

instead he loses himself to you, shaky breaths between “god, you’re so good,” and “you have no idea… how long i’ve waited… for you to want me like this.” there’s a single thing he holds back from saying, but he still plans on saying it. he’s just saving it for the right moment.

you’re drunk off of him, your body shuddering against him with every touch of his skin to yours, not knowing what to say and yet feeling as if you know everything you’ve ever needed to. and you say it for him.

“i love you.”

the words are barely there, just a breath against his lips as you kiss him, and it’s too much for him. he finishes with something akin to a sob, taking your face into his hands. “i love you,” he responds. and then, “say it again? please?”

you close your eyes and smile, leaning into him and brushing your lips against his. “i love you, yūji.”

his hand’s on the back of your head, then, pushing you back to his mouth, wanting you closer, wanting more. and you want more, too, fingers tracing lines down his back and arms and stomach, sending waves of light through his skin. this is it, he thinks as you press your body tight against his, this is all there is.

you are everything to him.

— SOMETHING ABT U I CAN’T QUIT

in each other’s arms later that evening, you feel yūji’s chest move slowly up and down with each inhale and exhale, contented in sharing this silent moment with you, and then you know. you know how you want him. you open your mouth to speak, and he does at the exact same time. the two of you share a laugh, just like you always have.

“you first,” you say, propping yourself up on your elbow so that you can look at him properly.

he reaches up and rests a hand flat against your face and runs his thumb lightly over your bottom lip. “i am…” the words are slow and quiet and purposeful. “i am so in love with you.”

your smile widens against his hand. “i want you. everything… about you, with you. i want it all.”

and he mirrors your grin, just like he always has. “i’m yours to take.” his eyes flit down to your lips, his thumb still pressed against them, afraid to look you in the eye as he speaks his next words. his face flushes pink; it’s adorable. “say you’re mine, too?” it’s a request, a plea—not a command.

you reach up to your face and place your hand over his. “all yours,” you say. “don’t even have to ask.”

it’s silent for a bit again, and then he sits up, going a little more serious.

“what?”

“what happens if this doesn’t last?”

you sit up, too, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and gently pulling his head to rest against yours. “after all these years?”

“hmm.”

you think for a moment: after all these years. your whole lives, spent together, maybe not as lovers but always as two halves of a whole. it’s him you always gossip to first, whom you always went to after heartbreaks and fights with your parents. he’s the first one you told when you lost your virginity, crashed your car, got into one of your top universities. he’s held your hand through everything.

so finally you say, “i don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

he pulls away to look you in the eye. “why not?”

his nose brushes against yours as you lean your forehead against his and laugh a little. “are you dumb, yūji?”

“i don’t think so?” when you say nothing, just continuing to look at him with that shit-eating grin on your face, he goes, “am i missing something?”

you press your lips to his for a second and pull away, still smiling at him. “it’s us, yūji. always has been.”

[malleux]

[4] - give him some head

table of contents

-> scaramouche x fem!reader | gang!au

-> warnings: cursing, wound mention, guns

a/n: this is a short chapter idk sorry lmfao i wanted some bonding. also there’s literally nothing canon abt scaramouche’s mom but. this is my story i do what i want.

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You were never a morning person. The idea of waking up before 9 was a nightmare to you- even 9 was a little too early for your liking.

When you woke up early for classes, you were grumpy. You had an attitude with everyone who approached you, even Diluc. Everyone knew not to mess with you in the mornings.

But here, standing in Scaramouche’s bedroom at 7:30am, you had no place to get an attitude.

La Signora knelt at the bedside, carefully helping her injured leader sit up. He winced slightly with every movement, obviously not wanting to show weakness in front of his teammates. Unfortunately for Scaramouche, though, his members weren't idiots. Even you could see the flinches and tight breaths that he harbored in his chest every time he had to move and quite frankly, it was pitiful.

Childe’s eyes hadn't left you from the moment you entered Scaramouche’s room where they all had congregated. He insisted on wrapping the bandages first to teach you what to do. You were thankful- you'd never played nurse before. Especially not to a gunshot wound.

The room was quiet. Tense. You could feel everyone's weariness as Scaramouche slowly laid back in the bed, once more hiding his pain. Childe patted the blankets and stood up, facing you.

"If the wound starts bleeding again, reinforce it with some dry bandages. Don't take it off if it's not bleeding. If it is, don't take it off until it's done bleeding. Scaramouche’s had enough wounds, unfortunately, so he can help you gauge those things. We cleaned the dirt and shit out last night, so you shouldn't have to worry too much about cleaning it. Just- don't run off again. Please."

You heard the exasperation in her voice and nodded. Dottore held his hand out to you- in it, a small flip phone. You took it cautiously, still not forgetting that he was a dangerous individual, and fiddled with the piece of technology.

"It's a burner phone. We'll call you after visiting the Knights to give an update. Afterwards, destroy it. If you need to contact us, there's one number in the contacts list. Text it and just say the code "9653". We'll call back on a public phone. Do not use any specific words that could give away anything. Be subtle in case someone's listening. I'm smart enough to figure out what you're saying." Dottore explained.

Sensing how you absolutely refused to look at, or even acknowledge, his presence, La Signora continued. "We're about to leave. This is your last chance to redeem yourself, so we hope that you'll make the right decision. Remember, Y/N, we're not going to hurt you."

You nodded, eyes flickering to Scaramouche’s frame. He seemed almost child-like laying in the large king bed, his eyes half-lidded as he listened to his members speak. He met your gaze and you quickly looked away, watching as the Fatui filed out of the room.

Childe placed her hand on your shoulder. "Scaramouche is a little difficult to get along with, but he has good intentions. Take care of him."

"Yeah!" Pierro cackled from the hallway, "Make it up to him. Make him some breakfast, give him some head- OW!"

La Signora shook her head. "There's plenty of food in the fridge. Don't order take-out, don't have any form of outside communication besides us. Don't go looking for your phone either, Dottore destroyed it."

"Wait- he what?!" You called out, but they were gone. The house was silent after the group had locked the doors completely. You turned to Scaramouche, who was still glaring at you. "Do you want breakfast?"

"I'd like to be with my team."

Your lips pulled into a tight line and you sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Alright, I'm sorry." When he quirked an eyebrow, you explained. "I- I didn't mean to shoot you. I was scared, and I meant for it to be just a warning shot. My hands were shaking and I didn't even aim. I didn't want to hit anyone."

Scaramouche stayed quiet, still analyzing your form as you played with your fingers. He looked rather cute, laying there with the soft comforter stopping just below his nose. Only his eyes and the top of his head peaked out, making him seem like a pouting child. A pouting child with a gun and years of combat experience, but a child nonetheless.

"I want pancakes."

<><><><> La Signora was right- there were an abundance of ingredients in the kitchen of the house, ready for you to use. But there was just one problem.

You had no clue how to make pancakes.

Flour, eggs, butter, and baking powder sat on the counter, untouched by your hands as you wracked your brain. You didn't have a phone to look up a recipe. Dottore would probably kill you if you used one of his computers. The flip phone was for emergencies only, and definitely didn't have any pancake recipes hidden in the notes section.

You sighed, deciding to grab a few measuring cups. Then, you stared at the ingredients again. While lost in your thoughts, you failed to notice a certain asshole limping into the kitchen and plopping himself down at the table. He watched you for a moment.

"You know you actually have to cook, right? Pancakes don't just make themselves while you watch."

"Fuck-" You jumped and whipped around, the measuring cup flying out of your grip and landing on the floor. "What are you doing up? You need to be resting."

"Do you even know how to make pancakes?"

Your eye twitched. He was ignoring your questions. "I- Of course I do! Now go back to bed before your wound reopens. How did you even get up, anyways? Not even twenty minutes ago you were struggling to sit up."

"I'm a miracle boy. Now, make pancakes."

You huffed and faced your mess again. In a wild guess, you grabbed the measuring cup once more and reached for the milk carton. Two cups should be okay, right?

"You're doing liquids first? Interesting. That's not how my mother taught."

"Then tell me, how did your mother make pancakes?" You seethed through your teeth.

The man only grinned and leaned his cheek against his palm. "I'm glad you asked. There's no harm in admitting you're clueless. First, do the dry ingredients. Flour, baking powder, all of that."

You're a dry ingredient, you bit back from saying. Scaramouche might not be in good shape to fight if you launched yourself at him from across the kitchen, but you didn't miss the glint of the handgun that rested against his hip. The same one you had used to shoot him.

“Now put in the eggs and milk and shit.” He gave you more measurements and ingredients and soon enough, you had pancakes on a plate and were serving them to the charity case that sat across from you at the table. He was quiet as he ate, and to you the tense silence was unbearable. You had to break it.

“These are good- you said your mom taught you how to make them like this? What was she like?” You flinched at the look Scaramouche gave you, immediately regretting asking.

“She was the one person in my life who I could just be myself around. Not Balladeer, the leader of the Harbingers in the Fatui, not Scaramouche, the man who’s killed more than his members combined, just me, her son. My mom was the best woman to ever exist.” He spoke intensely, and you could see just how much he loved her.

“Was?”

“She- she’s missing.” Scaramouche closed his eyes and placed his fork down, standing up. “I’m going back to bed. Uh, thanks.”

You nodded and began gathering the plates together, bringing them to the sink to wash them. You were fully aware that Scaramouche had stopped in the doorway and was observing you as you cleaned. He cleared his throat.

“And Y/N. Just so you know, none of us chose this life. We’re all in the Fatui for a reason. We’ve all got our own goals and plans. Don’t be quick to judge.”

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