#but then also im like. it's not even about the thing. it's about the consistent promises
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elliesglock Ā· 1 day ago
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yas do 20 questions
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okay this video. holyyyyy awkward. i'd like to point out first of all that this video has a lot to do with my thoughts about their timeline. around this time im not sure if they're in a committed relationship or a secret little fling kind of thing. the way they act around each other gives they know something we don't. this video gives such young love :( honestly it looks like to me like the beginning stage of really starting to fall for someone and the way you just smile and cheese so hard just being in their presence. so imo i think they're beginning to fall in love with each other or starting to realize how much they like each other and that's why they're so awkward and giggly. and how no one is giggling but them so it's saying to me this whole video is them just thinking about how they know some thing and is trying to keep us hush hush. they hang on to each other's words p looks at her like she hung the stars and it really shows p has wanted a life with her since they were like 17-18. i want to point out how they've known each other for 3 years atp and they're this awkward? if you've known someone that long why are you so shy around them? ohhhhh because yall are messing around and the intimate things you know about each other translates into your body language and shyness. ohhhhhhhh. azzi's brother asks them what's their best basketball memory and azzi says her 2 gold medals in usa. and ofc competitive p has to pipe up and say well my 4 gold medals AND my state championship. the look azzi gives her is the look she always gives her when paige is being competitive or trying to flex on her. she's like okay paige šŸ˜. i just find it funny how they're dynamic has always been so consistent and the way p has always been on menace time when it comes to azzi. but azzi doesn't even really argue because she knows p would literally rather have a gun go off than not brag on her and say how much of an amazing basketball player and person her princess is.
i also want to point out and talk about how they both look so fresh out the shower. almost like they took it at the same time....together. azzi's hair is wet and so is paige's. yall are sus and gay asf. now yes i know they could've just went back to back but the way they're so awkward. were yall doing something in there be honest quickly. azzi gets asked a question and they're fresh off the gold medalist question so azzi is still giving paige this incredulous look, she's looking at that girl so hard she hesitates and almost forgets to answer it just because she's focused on looking at p. she literally has to lock her whole body in. and p is eating it up. all smiles and giggles and smug looks.
i wanna talk about p's body language in this video for a second. i know we like to label her the confident smug cocky masc but in this video it's soooooo evident how shy she is around azzi. the whole time her body language is so stiff like if azzi touches her she'll literally explode. she has her arms crossed in front of her and her body hunched over herself almost like she's trying to protect it. and not protect it from azzi per say but more trying to prevent herself from fidgeting or doing nervous tics. her whole body language is just shy in general she's trying to make herself smaller almost like she knows how azzi is in private....šŸ™‚ā€ā†”ļø. also making yourself smaller is typically a sign of nerves or anxiety so it shows to me she has some nerves around azzi. which like that's ur best friend why are you so nervous around her? AGAIN BECAUSE SHE KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IN PRIVATE. just wanted to talk about that for a second because as someone who's studied body language before and is very observant i can see the anxious energy she holds for azzi.
the way p teases her after every question and makes a sassy face??? like were you expecting her to say you were her favorite disney character or sum?? now azzi imma need you to stop attacking pazzi nation with this next little moment....she's asked what's her best dish she cooks. and she deadass no joke straight face says "ummmm i'm more of an eater than a cooker". and look i would just rub it off as me having a dirty mind if PAIGE DIDNT COMPLETELY GIVE HERSELF UP IMMEDIATELY. she immediately gets this look on her face like she knows something and she's all shy and blushy. ho do you have intimate knowledge of azzi being an.....eater or sum? that's what her face is giving. and then azzi just makes the exposing themselves run even worse by saying oh yeah i can cook pretty much any breakfast food you want and azzi immediately looks at the camera and says "not true." basically confirming paige has cooked breakfast for her before??? and that she didn't like it? also i just wanna point out that ive always thought paige is the type to wake azzi up with breakfast in bed during national girlfriends day or just a random sunday she never really needs an excuse šŸ˜­ and azzi you know damn well you'd eat her breakfast just because you love her and thats ur lil paigey you don't fool me in the slightest.
moving on from that madness, azzi i'm looking at u rn. why do you literally LOCK IN on paige anytime she even turns to you or asks you a question. her eyes get all wide and it's almost like she's like omg my crush is talking to me omg azzi don't freak omg. she looks at her so quick and doesn't stop until paige turns away from her. soooooo in love. now onto paige. why are u looking at her as if you'll die of happiness just from being in her presence? i mean i get it BUT WHYYYY IF SHES UR FRIEND WHY ARE U LOOKING AT HER LIKE THAT. bc that's not friend btw. she looks so in love it's disgusting. the way p is so eager listening to her and loving everything she says with the biggest grin on her face like ho i know ur cheeks hurt. she smiles through this whole video btw. that's BEEN her girl shes so giddy basically tripping out doing the griddy in front of all of us.
azzi gets asked who the toughest person she's ever played against is and she says ashley owusu and the way p gets offended? like she expected the question to be about her and knew she was gonna say azzi so she expected azzi to say her as well. she completely missed the question too she's goofy šŸ˜­ and then she wants the question changed so she can make SURE her girl says her name and says she's the hardest she's played. and ofc paige says azzi and then to be petty adds a random girl from wayzata šŸ˜’ now idk if this is her trying to make someone jealous or if she just wanted to be petty but it's giving oh you didn't want to say me lemme just add this random girl. might just be me being delusional but you can never rest w p she's very possessive and wants everybody to know her girl is her girl. also i'd like to point out how p also remembers that they played each other and EXACTLY WHEN to fact check azzi. it gives she remembers so vividly cause it was the best game of her life and she was SO excited to play against her gf she couldnt ever forget it.
last question is i believe them getting asked what their game winning play would be and the way p immediately says she would give it to azzi and set up an assist for her. it's alwaysssss been about assisting her girl and playmaking for HER. and she's still on this timing too. still the only one really assisting azzi šŸ˜’ also still on her get azzi to uconn agenda here and she's setting up her agenda still šŸ˜­
and last but not least we get the cherry on top of the cake we see shy little paigey all over again. totally so stuck in her head and so shy thinking about azzi she doesn't realize azzi's fist bump like girl get it together. idk how lil paigey pulled her honestly. azzi had to have found her just like the most adorable little thing ever cause. mwah no rizz šŸ«°
okay thanks guys! come get yall juice, have a safe super bowl night and eagles dub THANK Youuu!!
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asgardian--angels Ā· 1 month ago
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keep fighting the good fight against this weird misconception that vik is somehow stoic and unemotional, bestie šŸ«” cause idk where the hell people picked that up lol
thank you!!! fandom is always gonna fandom, reducing characters to two-dimensional tropes to make them mix-and-matchable. it's especially unfortunate when the characters we're given in Arcane are so rich and nuanced. the best antidote is to go back and rewatch the source material imo lol.
thanks for enjoying my tags also!! I used to write actual meta many years ago but at some point lost my nerve or lost the time. now it lives in the tags. I don't know many people in the jayvik fandom here, it seems mostly active on twitter, but I'm glad to be noticed by at least a couple people here :) your blog is great!!
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insomnya777 Ā· 3 months ago
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like ā€œigh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hairā€#ā€œnewsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hellā€#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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halfbaked00q Ā· 6 days ago
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just had the haunting realization that one day they're gonna reboot James Bond which ofc means a new actor, and one day I will probably be one of those "old fashioned" ppl clinging to a previous actor as "My Bond" while some hot new young thing is prancing about on the stage.............
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greyedian Ā· 3 months ago
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MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.
#act 3 come through please šŸ™#I don't think it can salvage some of the things I have contentions with but still... please...#don't ask me about the silco vander flashback with jinxs + vis mom#or the bizzare choice to do so much of the storytelling through this weird music video format they've got going on#completely stripping it of the weight these plot beats could've had if they were... normal scenes#and also missing the point of how the music was used in season 1 and what made it so effective#bc it was complementary to instead of replacing the storytelling#seriously don't ask me about these things I will spontaneously implode on the spot#whyyyyy would they recontextualize season 1 like this with that flashback#to me it kind of ruins the character dynamics and themes in s1. it just makes me so sad you have no idea#also what even are they doing with Jinx rn for real#aaarghhhh just... so many things that are making me scratch my head#also I'm so terribly sorry but I could not care less about Isha sorry lol#like i get that its sad conceptually but she was such a non-character that i struggle to feel impacted at all#same with sky tbh. i thought her role in s1 was alright but there is so much emotional weight put on her now#in terms of her relationship to Viktor but that was barely established so it's weird to have her around#and clearly you're supposed to care but they haven't given me much reason to#isha and sky were non-characters just there to die to further the development of other characters#they didn't really have anything going on on their own and that's just a type of character and plot device that does nothing for me#also i thought the war between zaun and piltover + internal struggles in zaun bc silcos gone would be the main focus#but that stuff seems so sidetracked rn#also sorry i dont like what they did with vander and warwick either. that man should've stayed dead lol#it honestly just makes his death feel less impactful and i dont know what this is supposed to do for the story or the themes???#that just feels like a pointless plotline that is taking up time that could've been spent on other things#i just... i could go on like this for a while like there are so many things that just puzzle me#it's so weird considering how tight and thematically consistent season 1 was#let's see where act 3 goes but... i kinda have a bad feeling about it ngl#obv im glad others are enjoying it and this is just my opinion! also a lot of this are probs just my personal tastes anyway#arcane spoilers
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no1ryomafan Ā· 3 months ago
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The thing I realized the most about Omniverse that had effect on me past the art style that was so abundantly clear was everything with Malware and Feedback.
How despite the rough edges OV has, it handle the subject of trauma beautifully, what it means to lose apart of yourself, that still holds up to this day whilst also having a compelling and threatening villain to accompany that, but Ben is able to overcome that by forgiving himself and thatā€™s how he gets Feedback again, how is able to heal.
And I just go ā€œyeah no fucking wonder Iā€™m a angsty fiend obsessed with hurt/comfort and characters facing their traumaā€
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fishluring Ā· 2 years ago
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compilation of this guys colours haunting me
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bitchthefuck1 Ā· 7 months ago
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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.
There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.
#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional#attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self#sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that#he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been#having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and#out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't#know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know#they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn#if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character#the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense#of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to#unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or#letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated#it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being#about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good#and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good#it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and#gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy#or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal#character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma#impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be#'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney adamu#carmy berzatto
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ourladyoftheflytrap Ā· 28 days ago
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Saw all these beautiful women with long hair today and thought to myself "why do I want to do that" so now I'm debating if I want to chop all my hair off again
#on one hand. if i go back to the bowlcut then i cant just put it in a ponytail when its in my face#i have to actually cut it short consistently in order to keep it manageable.#but on the other hand. im already doing that with my bangs#and as much fun as i have braiding my hair its. its a little weird that all but 3 of the women in class wear their hair the same way#sigh i dont know. i like the idea of having long hair for my wedding#so that i can do some cute elaborate design but im nowhere close to getting married#like im only 20 and marriage is at the very least a 25 year old thing so. i have time#theoretically i have plenty of time to grow my hair out but the thing is will i ever want to#maybe what i really need to do is just buy a better wig so that i have one thats more customizable#bc my current wig is cute but i cant do french or dutch braids on it without revealing the mesh underneath#and all i really want is to walk around with cute braids but at what cost?!#ok but also lets think about it this way: this time last year my hair was just shy of my ear lobes#and now it tickles the tops of my shoulders but isnt quite shoulder level#lets say thats about 3 inches in a year. that means 9 inches in 3 years and 15 inches in 5 years#that means if i dont cut my hair now then it will have grown about 7 inches in total by the time i graduate#that would be longer than its ever been in my life and im already halfway there#sigh again. i guess i should stick with it just to see if i even like it that long#cuz how will i know if i dont try
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maraschinotopped Ā· 7 days ago
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ive been staring at the naqtube channel page just doing analysis thoughts in my head for like 15 minutes and ive just been hit with the realization that Damn this is not normal. normal people dont do this. either the mental illness or the mild sickness is doing something to me right now.
#[cosmic heroes of dubious alignment]#IM NOT EVEN WRITING ANYTHING DOWN. IM JUST BRUTEFORCING THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD.#uhmmmmmm anyways. im trying to think of potential themes naq might have#and its like wow i am not good at recognizing themes bc im dense as bricks sometimes but i swear theres a repeating pattern of .. roles?#the expectation and breaking of stereotypical roles to be more specific#like listen to me here. obviously theres the line ive pointed out b4 with the 'theyre fighting evil/theyre [..] evil' line;#the lines in the unused takes video that paint n&q as less than morally good in /some/ sort of way;#queen buzzbeamer's whole deal as ive said ad nauseam; a more recent example i feel like would be part of the binary translated from hazard:#'this is who i am and who i will ever be'. accepting your role.#but also on a more meta sort of way with the games themselves. the female mcs getting more focus than the male mcs-#-in a time period where most video game mcs were male and the female characters were one-note is something noteworthy to me.#the fact that nebula is CONSISTENTLY framed bigger/more prominently in almost every piece of official art we see.#her name is first in the title. naq was conceptualized as a concept with her only first. shes always also featured in ads alongside quasar.#the only ad that features quasar prominently is the jumparound ad which alludes to it possibly being a request from sony#-and thus would want to play it more 'mainstream'.#by itself this doesnt stand out bc it could always be just the creators wanting some hashtag women in their unfiction series#which i would be fine with if that was the case. we love women. HOWEVER#its the fact that naq2 (from what we know so far) ACTIVELY TRIES TO BACKPEDAL ON THIS. which makes me think its INTENTIONAL.#both nova and nebula have seemingly been sidelined in naq2 with their screentimes reduced. nova reduced to a 'supporting character' and -#nebula into a possibly offscreen kidnappee. QUASAR takes their spotlights in naq2.#...maybe a way of 'making back lost sales' from naq1? pivoting too hard into the stereotypical from the unusual...#because obviously thats whats scaring away your customers. not the white room scandal. totally not.#'..ok is this leading up to anything mara. whats your conclusion statement' idunno man.#i just think its an interesting tidbit that keeps popping up. i am not a coherent theory guy#i am a pointing out things and throwing them at the wall to see what sticks guy.#there is also the very real chance that im completely wrong abt naq2 bc we still dont know a lot about it sooo. shrug.
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thepromisedbride Ā· 9 months ago
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i donā€™t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- ā€‹no i donā€™t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- ā€‹yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesnā€™t mean it hasnā€™t possibly ruined eloiseā€™s life#- similarly: eloise isnā€™t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and sheā€™s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- ā€‹pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesnā€™t mean that sheā€™s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao sheā€™s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like sheā€™s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didnā€™t just ignore anything pen said and thatā€™s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didnā€™t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh thatā€™s weird she doesnā€™t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasnā€™t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasnā€™t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i donā€™t think the queen is going to name her the ā€˜emeraldā€™ or anything because sheā€™s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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firefl1ezz Ā· 9 months ago
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i just. hit s+ rank in splatoon and i never honestly thought this would happen?? am i cool now.. do i get to be a part of the s4? do i get to be watered down to my running joke all the time?
#the last part is a joke but i do not see a whole lot of recognition of the s4 being. the s4#like yeah they were cool formidable foes in the s1 era and skull even beat goggles despite his plot armor#but now theyre just#there??#dont get me wrong i love their existence but#it feels like theyve been watered down at least a bit#skull is always just getting lost and army is almost always either the manual guy or the curry guy#thats. thats it thats their bits#skull also has the sweets thing#rider is sometimes a considerable foe too but at the same time the s4 doesnt usually consist of him so im not sure how much to count him#that being said it is a kids manga so i dont really expect it to lean too far into the formidable foes thing#even the xblood werent that scary in the long run and ended up goofy despite being who they were#i also get it in terms of fandom#i understand the appeal of something like aloha being cutesy dumb pink guy (who maaaaaaybe commited some crimes and it shows)#i also definitely understand the appeal of army having a thing for curry as well as the manuals#the manuals can be an endearing thing to write about trust me#but i also wouldnt mind seeing more things that center around the likes of the s4 and the xblood and even the best8 being the absolute best#of the best during their prime#reminder that s+ was the highest rank around when the s4 were introduced. same with the xblood#they were the strongest players and id like to see things that center around that#id like to imagine that moving on to the square and splatsville that the s4 would have had a chance to move uo and get into xbattles#i think of all of them skull and army would have the highest chances of actually making it to xrank and being successful#but honestly if mask and aloha could probably make it pretty well too if they got off their asses#and i think rider would excel as well being rider#he has his own kind of near plot armour i think#so do most of the big teams in my opinion#theyre the sort of doomed by the plot that forces them to battle goggles at some point lmao#maybe i could use this in a fic or au one day#maybe someone already has...#(please send to me if you know of any creators who have played around with these vague ideas of strength i wanna see em)
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skitskatdacat63 Ā· 2 years ago
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2023 Australian Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso(ft. Max Verstappen & Lewis Hamilton)(my personal post-race highlights)
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yanderespamton78 Ā· 8 months ago
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damn it feels so good to actually have friends who i feel safe around. like to have friends who im not worried that if they find out that i like "cringe" things they wont judge me. woah!!
@angry-avaocardo @silly1xxx @gollyimsosoevil
#appreciation post for my bestiesāœØāœØ#also the tags got reallylong and rambly just me complainign about the ex friend and a quick update so feell free not to read them if you#dont wanna#theres nothing of substance in there lol#ugh god my old friend the one i made the really long post about asking for advice#i probably mentioned this but i never felt safe to talk about things i like with them#oh god i would never be able to show them defrag#and i probably wouldnt even be willing to ramble about like. the arg or smth to them#id be too worried of them making fun of me#but also they had a way of making it so i hung out with them the most even tho i didnt want to#ā€œme and friend are going to the canteen you two wanna come?ā€#ā€œ[with none of my input] no me and Charlie are staying hereā€#the only person i felt safe talking about my interests to was a friend that i made when trying to move away frrom the toxic one#a friend who they would consistently ask if i was replacing them with and was so fucking jealous of him#in fact that friend is gollyimsoevil yea that guy#hes great he likes gay addison shit so yk bestie#also they were so good at guilt tripping that now i use their guilt tripping tactics on myself to try and get myself to do things lol#and they would make fun of me so often but GOD FORBID I MAKE FUN OF THEM#they were making fun of me to another person a few /years/ ago so i made some snarky comment about them#because i was really upset by them making fun of me#and they brought it up to me like 2 months ago before we cut them off#like dude you mock and make fun of everything i do so much that ive just stopped talking and completely zoned out whenever im around you#and youre holding some snarky remark that i made when we were like 11 /because you were making fun of me/#UGH#oh ye update on that if anyone cares it went fine they seem to have moved on and are just hanging out with different people now#they havent made any attempt to contact any of us but also havent cut us off#i havent cut them off either ive just left it#i catch them giving me and the other two friends who used to be friends with them dirty looks#but i kinda just ignore it#i have like 5 friends my age who are much much much nicer than them
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theintelligentfool Ā· 6 days ago
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im so sick of embarrassment and anxiety being kind of in control of ?my entire life? at this point
#when someone maturely points out a behavior of mine they are politely asking me to stop doing or is even just checking to make sure im ok#i burst into tears#and no one is more bothered about that than me IM SO SICK OF CRYING OVER NOTHING#IM SO SICK OF MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL#IM SO SICK OF BEING COMPLETELY UNABLE TO REGULATE MY FEELINGS#Is it repression when i try to cheer myself up or is it wallowing in self pity when i just let myself cry#is it proof of decent willpower and self motivation skills that i can and will make myself do something i Don't Fucking Want To Do#or am i just not taking care of myself#secret: its the second thing but the REAL problem is that i need to be okay with it#it needs to not be a problem#i love doing mock trial but all the stress around it makes me want to quit but we're so close to regionals and i cant do that to the team#and i hate that i want to quit and i hate that the reason im not quitting is because im afraid of being embarrassed by doing so#and i hate myself andmy feelings and my irresponsibility and im still just half-assing my assignments#and i have a lot of casual friends but i know for a fact im not anyones best friend im not anyones favorite friend and#i want people to ask me to hang out but im worried that if i dont then it looks like im not interested but im worried that#if i do it too much i look desperate and like im imposing myself and like im . well this phrasing is painful for other reasons but#im scared of acting like im closer friends with someone than they think we are#and i dont know where the line is and i dont know what to do or what to say all i know how to do is make small talk and#exaggerate my facial expressions and tell a stupid fucking joke every 3 seconds#i like my life but im so fucking sick of the fact that *im* the one living it#i dont even want to be someone else i just want to be a version of myself thats not a fucking loser#who can actually put effort into assignments without wanting to throw my laptop out the window#who can be normal about other people#who doesn't have the dumbest fucking anxiety disorder ever#who consistently memorizes the stuff i need to know and can improvise on the fly#who's not an embarrassment to my team and also That One Guy They Keep Letting Hang Out With Us For Some Reason to my friendgroups#who can answer questions in class without looking like a suckup and also does it the right amount to make an impression but not enough to b#embarrassing#who can FUCKING talk to someone instead of making a vent post on *tumblr dot com*#for fucks sake i even wish i didnt use tumblr so much. maybe if i could get into a different social media that's normal i wouldn't be so
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bi-panic-at-the-disco Ā· 11 days ago
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I like how whenever I watch AstralSpiff or Backseat play a new Poppy Chapter itā€™s pretty clear what game that they devs had been playing before hand lmao,, Chapter 4 being very clearly referencing to the Resident Evil 4 underground factory insect fights with how it was framed
#disco speaks!#honestly the most interesting chapter is still chapter 3 to me because thereā€™s a consistent antagonist and it expounds on that story with#every step as well as actually showing the playcare and hour of joy#i donā€™t like the franchise because of what happened with the devs and the merch and NFTs and just general stuff with MOB#but like yeah. the more it digs down it just gets more vague and expansive to the point where itā€™s like where do the characters draw theline#like Doey hates the doctor but works with him but also hates Poppy more for also being abused but doesnā€™t hate Kissy or Mommy??#the prototype is probably not going to the live up to the hype because itā€™s been dragged out for too long#why the fuck is the player here? four chapters and over like Iā€™ll give them like 15 hrs of playtime#(if even that) and thereā€™s like been several antagonists with like catnap and the doctor being the most interesting and tied into the#big bad evil. also like I feel bad for the kids obviously but then the hour of joy where itā€™s like poppy are sad that ā€˜innocentā€™ people were#killed but also like is LIKE WHO DO WE EVEN CARE ABOUT??#the player who is just a witness to the thing and barely has a stake in this#why is kissy nice like sometimes having the audience questioning the story and lore to be interested#but itā€™s like security breach a moment of thought and itā€™s just like this game is built on really nothing but wanting to make a game#and I love security breach but thatā€™s not how you write a story#thereā€™s good parts of poppy playtime and security breach but they donā€™t make up for the lack of planning for either#like at least security breach came all at once and thereā€™s been other games to set the precedent and premise#but to quote the stupid meme poppy playtime insists upon itself#and by the way im not talking shit about the fandom or anything like that cause like#Iā€™d be a hypocrite and im still following the story and will watch the next chapter when it comes out. it still deserves critism#and thereā€™s also suspension of disbelief to go with it and I do enjoy it sometimes#and thereā€™s also respect for the artists and story writers and the coders who care about their work and craft#the sound designers and the voice actors and everyone in between#ughhh I donā€™t know
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