#but then again i guess this might be more of a me problem lmao
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do any of you have any lip pencil recs by any chance orrr lip stain recs maybe:33333333
#for lip pencils i want something that actually Stays on#i feel like they come off so quickly#but then again i guess this might be more of a me problem lmao#aaand idk i haven't actually tried any lip stains before but the idea seems really good so i'd like to check it out hmmm#actually idk why i'm asking this now i think ppl are asleep but.. oh well#hahgdhgshdghsaa#i hope you're all getting your rest i hope you're all having the sweetest dreams#mayor of loserville
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Return date for my webcomic, Time and Time Again!
It's been set for a while but sometimes they change the date without warning, so I'll keep you updated if anything changes!
I'm extremely proud of the work I've been doing on it, I can't wait to share everything!
See you then!
#i still have to finish book 4#soooo iiiiiii will do that... this week...#really trying to be done with it but this one is taking so long for all the changes!#hoping to have an update on that soon too#might have taken on a few too many projects#but yay! return!#yippee!!!#i would say sorry its been so long but theres no way it could have been shorter and other people are gone way longer#i tried to leave things on a nice note so itd only be missed for wanting more#and not missed for feeling abandoned#ok! time to get up for another day of work! really need some things off my list so my days can be like.#9/10 hours instead of 12 LOL#im so tired. im legitimately extremely overworked it's a problem#ok bye back to work for me#return#hiatus stuff#time and time again#announcement#use this post to talk about how excited you are and make guesses and shower me with praise :-)[-[#LMAO
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(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this
#Shrouded In A Rectangle neither sleeves nor an open front to be besieged with? yes#just doing whatever else like doesn't matter. tee cargo shorts which is my best guess rn of my ideal outfit. + sandals Absolutely#unfortunately my hair could never do that. somehow neither am i yet like forties fifties? have i not been at this for eons?#i Can be like uh let's just nobody talk to me i'm busy pensively perceiving truths that you don't ever actually wanna hear about#just the other day it was like hey....a [way Having To Talk could be a difficulty / problem] was under my nose in this lifelong pattern#certainly noticing the Verbal Exchange Demand heaped upon burnout as like [delay delay delay struggle weariness stress]#but also who knows like spent plenty of time just probably indeed Not having to have such exchanges while burned out. not noting them#anyway like this isn't even [dysphoric Ideal Outfit until i could [whatever supposed even more ideal than that gender euphoria]]#though shoutout to that but like nah get shrouded anyway. the only [how do i look] im motivated to consider is: when it's a costume#when it's just me it's like. i guess whatever pants and a comfortable enough tee. need glasses. hair's w/e so cut quite short ig#might accessorize w/things that are fun to me like hey yeah yknow i might want a calculator watch#[yea as a kid it was like :( im actively appreciating the animals supposedly Gross or Bad] if i had hated little friends Sure yaay#if i had disorienting light effects like a pelagic creature. but you don't even need that. like hey i'm nd in real life. i got it#chat i'm in the walls too bestie lmao. if only my bigfoot pose reference Step was this good#tl;dr long rephrasing of my being like; now the gender slay....#& nodding & Noting when [worksheet exercise: what's your gender euphoria look?] is like shrug idk. but this is serving maximally to me; so#going Chat how can i up my uncanny stats. looking up ''isn't it like Uncanny knowledge e.g. so like why not....canny''#but i think the un canny is the Uncanniness Accuser's perspective. not of My ken. your literal weird one maybe#so again apt to be like jk i'm just autistic & shit; i got it....horror shit challenge impossible: Don't have sm typical mundane#[disability moment] as like Unsettling danger/malice cues. challenge impossible; again#subverted here like as [horror holding hands touching foreheads w/comedy] w/o Rescinding just casual disabled behavior/qualities#just remembered like three witches weird sisters etc macbeth. weird uncanny soothsaying gendering. word#anyway i should be shrouded (made no any connection whenever i put the blanket now over my head & shoulders in place min ago)#perhaps the real Ideal Look insight: i do not have any way i wish to be observed by people. secret passages / removed room anytime
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I’m back!!
#I have returned!#not dead!#sorry folks I was in the wilderness for a few weeks#gotta become human again#might take a little break from dragon age posting but never fear the dragon age brain rot never truly leaves#being disconnected from the internet for a while made me think about my life lmao#might make some art of some personal projects I turn around in my head#or something else entirely idk#probably will be a minute before I start posting again#I never really intended to post consistently on this place and it felt good to get rid of that pressure I was placing on myself#I also don’t want to put myself in a position where people only expect one thing from me#these are all problems I made up though nobody has ever made me feel like I have to do something#people have been nothing but kind to me here and it makes me 💖💗💞🩷#I just wanna make art about other things I guess#do not worry though I will be making lots of dragon age content it just might be awhile#I just need to feel real again#all of this could be a lie and I’ll come back in like three days with more art who knows#sending my love to my beautiful mutuals#💕💞💖💗#and of course all my love to the people who support my art yall are the best I reread the tags you leave all the time#ramble over
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Girl you gotta write your term paper and not cry about your poor life choices
#tw eating issues#seriously idk how much detail I'll go into but i had a full blown relapse of my eating disorder i thought I had overcome and i gotta cry#about it now so you've been warned#i didn't think it could get this bad again#I've been having ups and downs over the past 4 years and I've definitely had phases where i felt like I've relapsed more or less#but it was never as bad as it used to be#so now this is annoying#i avoided thinking about it the past few weeks telling myself it was fine even though i knew what I'm doing is stupid as hell#but yeah i guess crying about it isn't gonna solve anything either. i know exactly what helped me overcome it in the first place#and i know exactly why i couldn't get over it for so long. and unfortunately I'm currently in exactly that state of mind that doesn't want#to let me let go of it. i hate it. i hate myself for letting it come to this. i hate myself for everything I've done the past few weeks#i hate that i don't know what to do because one part of me just clings on to the obsession while the other part of me is just tired of my#shit. i don't know how to get myself out of it. it all might get better once I'm back home because food won't be as much of a problem there#I'm torn between not eating anything at all or obsessively calculating my calories and trying to get rid of every single one i consume by#running until my feet are bleeding and i just. don't. know. how. to. stop. it.#maybe deleting the three new food and exercise diary apps would be a start... but how do i delete these dumb arbitrary rules from my head#idk. i can't go home because of this obviously. i won't. but i don't want my remaining 3 months be consumed by obsessive thoughts and#self destructive behaviors either. i don't know#it's my fault so idk why I'm crying- i could at least wait until my term paper is done lmao#wasting precious time here#void screams#tbd probably
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Love LOVED your honest dating and the smoking hc, would you be comfortable doing one of those for Craig's gang??
Honest dating headcanons 💯 🔥
dividers by pinterest
Craig's gang
Masterlist!
♡Course i can lmao I was thinking about doing one with craigs gang lol (GENDER NEUTRAL AGED UP)
♡Idk why but the jimmy one is really sad lmao
Craig
•Bro could not care less about you
•He wont care if you break up
•He wont treat you any differently in or after the relationship
•He'd hang out with you once and then you'd start dating with out you knowing
•It just happens one day lmao
•He just tells everyone your together
•He wont do any sort of physical affection
•He might buy you a gift on your birthday
•Tbh i dont picture him being an overly horrible person i just think he is boring as fuck
•Literally doesnt kiss you or hold your hand
•its just being w friends with more labels
Tweak
•Gets a nosebleed whenever you make eye contact
•SUPER nervous around you
•He cannot even comprehend you liking him let alone being in a relationship with him
•Dating freaks him the fuck out
•After you ask him out (sorry but there is no chance of him doing that)
•And even then theres only a 50 percent chance of him saying yes. Even though he likes you
•Overthinks all the time
•If you leave him on delivered for one second he'll freak out
•He is very anxious with you
•Needs constant reassurance you like him
•He is a bit of a pick me, he sends this emoji 🥺
•He is so clingy
•He'll cry if he sees you talking to anyone but him
•If you ever broke up he would never be able to talk or look at you again
Jimmy
•He asked you out as a dare thinking you would say no and you said yes
•Felt too bad to break up with you
•Has been convincing himself to love you ever since
•He'll try give you the ick or being mean to you to get you to break up with him
•You actually fall more in love with him
•He'll start to fall for you too
•If you laugh at his jokes
•Or make an effort to make him laugh
•But then his dreams get crushed
•Someone told you that he asked you out as a joke
•You genuinely get upset and break up with him
•Leaving him heart broken
•He brings you gifts and he looks at you whenever he makes jokes to see if you laugh
•He hates himself for what he did :(
Tolkien
•Probably the most sane relationship you will have
•He wont admit it
•But he is very very stuck up
•He has a very particular taste, like kyle
•However unlike kyle he is a pretty rizzy rizzler
•He'll take you out on nice dates
•He gets bored pretty easily though
•He'll break up with you in a nice way though
•He'll drop a bunch of flowers or chocolates at your door or locker and write you a note
•Too stuck up to do it in person
•He'll treat you like the relationship never happened when you break up though
•Like everything goes back to normal
Clyde
•He is a pretty well wanted guy in south park high
•He gets a lot of bitches which is very odd because he is one of those guys that really arent anything special but they pull so much
•These people have fueled his ego so much, he thinks he is Ryan gosling
•He'll come up to you like 'sup then ask you know a date
•You'll start dating
•He can be really sweet but he acts all tough because he is the epitome of toxic masculinity
•He got bullied for being a 'crybaby' so i guess he made himself the opposite to fit in
•He gets pissed off when you say he is being flirty with other people
•He cheats on you one night when he is drunk (suprise suprise)
•He cries telling you it was a mistake
•And you dump him in front of everyone
•And he makes you out to be the problem
•Then the whole school hates you
dividers by @k1ssyoursister
#south park x reader#south park headcanons#south park#craig tucker fluff#craig tucker x reader#tweek tweak x reader#tweek tweak#clyde donovan fluff#clyde donovan x reader#tolkien#tolkien black x reader#jimmy south park#jimmy valmer#jimmy valmer x reader
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Not really a marauders character but: Tom Riddle #20!
YAPPING WARNING ABOUT ASPD TOM RIDDLE AGAIN
Ok so sorry for taking so long to do this, but my brain crashes every time i try to think about something that isn't obvious or just fucking boring. BUT I REALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YALL SO GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS
The hill I'll die on is that he is an ASPD baddie, tho I bet he would prefer thinking about himself as sociopath, as edgy teens do. It doesn't mean I think he is totally emotionless, i think he is very emotional. Just not empathetic? This man is purely driven by his emotions from the start. Be it fear of death, resentment, and hatred towards Dumbledore or just general anger directed at the stupidity of the wizarding nation. In ASPD it's just that the intensity of expression of those emotions is different. He can look totally put together and like an oasis of peace, but inside planning whatever insanities only he can think of.
Because the thing is, anger issues are not rare in ASPD. ASPD is associated with impulsiveness and violent or risky behaviours, which can result in lashing out in anger. It's just that when you don't have many emotions to begin with, controlling the stronger ones can be difficult.
People have very different headcanons about him in that matter, i see a lot of totally stoic, calculating tom riddle who doesn't have absolutely any emotions and stuff like this, but I really can't see it. My man is a dramatic, cruel, entitled and IMPULSIVE edgelord BUT:
HOT TAKE #1:
Canon Tom Riddle headcanonned himself as fanon Tom Riddle.
He might have thought of himself as emotionless, but he just didn't acknowledge it. Growing up in an unstable environment, he hadn't learned how to stabilize himself.
Because ASPD is partialy caused by genetics, yes. But a very big factor in developing it is childhood and home life. We can agree his was very unstable, he has probably witnessed violence and definitely experienced emotional neglect. ASPD is all about lack of security. Its defence mechanism. That means:
My man just doesn't know how to cope, LMAO. When it was too much even for him to stuff into the back of his brain, he just lashed out. Acting on impulses was his relief from it. Adrenaline from it also helped to mute his feelings.
But at the same time, he just didn't think of himself as unreasonable. "It was never his fault, he was just provoked!" He also didn't feel guilty about causing harm to others because he didn't have any empathetic feelings towards anyone. How can you feel bad about idk, cursing someone if you don't see them as an individual with feelings of their own. Because how could he think about their feelings when he didn't have much of his own to compare and to even comprehend what they feel beside some very shallow understanding. AND BY THAT I DONT MEAN HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS HURTING PEOPLE AROUND HIM HE WASNT A POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW. HE KNEW, HE JUST DIDNT GET IT SO HE DIDNT CARE. But he obviously knew. So no empathy but more like an educated guess. Masking king. He learnt how emotions worked for other people and used it whenever he saw fit. Pure manipulation.
Because again neglectful caregiving = problems with attachment to people and forming relationships. In the end it's all about him in that aspect. His feelings are always about himself and making himself feel comfortable and stable. He was fond of his friends till they were useful and till he felt good with having them around. He took pride* in gaining their respect and loyalty. He was using them to stroke his ego basically. And was using them in general. For stuff and things.
*HOT TAKE #2:
And here i have my latest hot take: his similarity with Harry in that matter. Harry is a gryffindor with some slytherin traits. And imo Tom, with him being the most slytherin to ever slytherin, his crazy pride and impulsivity is so gryffindor.
So there's that beside how we can all agree he was a liar and manipulator.
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Hello! I will be doing some short pick a card's to help see if I'm the reader for you! Today we'll be doing a personality reading with my astrology oracle cards. Let's go!
Left → Right / Pile 1 → Pile 4)
Decks Used: The Arcana or Astrology, Astrological Oracle Cards, claves astrologicae, astrological dice
Disclaimer | Pinned | Tip Jar | Paid Readings
Pile One
Cards: Pallas Athena, Eighth House, Eleventh House, Fourth House, Cancer, Pluto Rx, Sun, First House, Solar Eclipse, Virgo, Capricorn, Eighth, Saturn
So far I’m not really getting *you*, I feel nothing. Not in a bad way, but everything is about other people. Which is funny because I have a video I haven’t started yet about how a character’s transformation throughout a series is through his relationships, which I think is what you offer to others. It’s not a subconscious thing, it feels as if you actively seek to help people or point out issues within relationships or people so they can fix them. You value bonds and community and you like things to be even. However this isn’t just you so let’s dig a bit deeper.
Ah I was just thinking ‘they probably really need to feel comfortable’ just as Cancer flew out. Mmm you might have fourth house placements not necessarily Cancer ones, but it’s just more about being easily...frazzled? Oh you’re difficult to explain lol. It’s not that you’re easily frazzled because you can confront/spot these issues within others and it’s not simple things like ‘oh well did you talk to them’, it’s usually deep wounds that long conversations unearth. However at the same time you’re very simple and a bit introverted? This introversion is mainly because you feel more comfortable around people you know or in places you’re familiar with, but you also make people around you feel comfortable enough to be that vulnerable. I’m doing it again- did you. Pick Pile 2 from my pac fooreeeveerr ago when I couldn’t even focus on you - for what makes you attractive. A lot of your personality is like a guiding light, which is a bit annoying because that’s not really describing you it’s about your effect on others you know. So what I can get from that is...you might hold a lot of stuff in. With Pluto coming out in reverse, because I always take my oracles upright, it feels like struggling to deal with that energy on your own. However you have all of this glowing energy to welcome others so that they can be loved and comforted even though you can’t do that for yourself.
Solar! Oh, are you one of my cardinal siblings?! I would guess signs but whenever I pull this section they never match hehe, but I did guess maybe a Cancer Rising, however that doesn’t add up — I’m rambling. Understanding why I took Perfectionist, you sometimes present yourself as someone who needs to always seem okay. I don’t think it’s physically? It’s more like that Virgo cringe of being wrong or making mistakes or like. Existing, let’s be real lmao. However you are very open to new phases in your thinking or view of the world — which does remind me of when people do room makeovers. Changing their aesthetic for something else? It’s like you sometimes do that with who you are (forgiving of your core values). As I said, this section tends to be people’s view which can sometimes conflict with the first pull, but in this case it can match up because the Eleventh can speak to group integration and the Eighth can be constant transformation, just not in the way people seem to think.
Okay with your last roll you have to have some Cardinal dominance with Eighth house placements lmao, happy Solar Eclipse! Really the only thing to add is that you might be a bit restrictive with how you express/present yourself? As in you overthink or you feel like you’re not allowed to do certain things because you didn’t suffer enough for it? Unfortunately problems and emotions will always present themselves regardless of your status, you don’t have to be at a certain level to be frustrated, it’s okay. Also you feel a bit goofy, I hope you’re allowed to let that side out enough.
Songs: Friends – Flight of the Conchords, Girls & Boys – Good Charlotte, Perfectionist – Flash Forward, Drew Barrymore – SZA
Pile Two
Cards: Twelfth House, Hygeia, Last Quarter Moon, Sixth House, Sun, Venus, Jupiter, First Quarter, Seventh House, Uranus, Aries, Eleventh, North Node
Oh? Well, as a side note the cards came out without issue, so there’s a feeling that you know yourself quite well. More than you might realize because I feel like you...there’s a feeling of you making adjustments for yourself without realizing. There’s a house opposition but it feels like it’s working well so far here. In tune with your body and soul, so when something feels off or you’re feeling sluggish, you make adjustments to one portion of your life and you’ll be feeling a bit better the next week. There’s also a pretty forward quality here about you, you don’t pretend to be anything you’re not and you’re down to earth. This first pull can also point to a healing quality about you — the dynamic of the 6th & 12th can usually have someone who ends up working for charities or having a natural ability to help others in some form underneath their daily routine.
I already had a feeling this pile was something else. I don’t know there is a very relaxed energy about your. Even while listening to your first song, it still felt more calm despite the meaning of the song? Considering these are Benefics and The Sun, it’s like you do your best to always look on the bright side of things. I mean yes this can point to overindulging and running away from issues, especially since we got the Twelfth, but I’m feeling more tranquil and like...happy. I’m not getting negativity. So it’s just minding your business and trying to live a peaceful life. Also lowkey spiritual/philosophical, always looking for more.
Not surprised by these cards. Due to your actual energy, you seem very harmonious and pleasant to be around. However looking at these songs I’m getting it’s clear that you’ve experienced connections/situations that weren’t so pleasant. As I mentioned before, you’re someone who prefers to live a happy life, you don’t want to stay in negative places. It’s reflected in these cards that you’re very determined to move on and live the life that you want. From the perspective that you might’ve just had the worst thing happen to you and you’ve moved on next week, it can seem a bit perplexing to others haha.
Oh! That’s interesting. There is that peaceful energy to you, but due to what you experienced you want to protect others. Not in a sacrificial way, but you want to implement change. You’re not someone who wants to sit around and wait to protect after the incident has occurred. Very passionate, possible leader material, and so much care to those around you and the community that you could foster. I absolutely love your energy.
Songs: Best of You – Foo Fighters, When the Day Met the Night – Panic! At the Disco, Demons – Imagine Dragons, Awake and Alive – Skillet
Pile Three
Cards: Virgo, Sun, Taurus, Hygeia, Sagittarius, Pisces, Cancer Rx
I keep being drawn into the hole on the Sun card. I’m getting nothing else, so I think right now there is some healing that needs to be done to the ego — or identity. To piece this together, it’s like someone is being too self-critical of who they are, and to solve this they need to implement self care because I also got that. That could just be parts of the personality but I’m getting. Nothing. Let me see.
Oh my god I can’t read any of this literally. Sag-Pisces makes me think of Jupiter influence, and could point to avoidance for this particular reason. It feels like being asked what to drink, not knowing what to choose so asking to try everything. Everything feels very flimsy, so either I have a lot of people within this pile or we just need to work on who we are at our core a bit longer which is just what happens in life. Cancer being in reversed is also important, because I never take my oracles that way unless they fly out as such. This signifies a lack of nurturing in some sort. Or the emotions are being pushed to the side. Ego can’t survive without emotion — it’s just a paper bag at that point. It feels more like trying to fit into another archetype or be someone that you’re not? Like following trends as an example. I’m pulling advice for you, one second.
Energy to Embrace: Whale, Oyster, Peacock
Yeah, you have to embrace your own qualities and put them back out into the world. All of these cards show that there has been some damage done, so I can understand that there is some insecurity or fear in doing that, but masking as someone else is not the answer and it’s causing more internal confusion/damage. You have gifts that the world should see. Everyone does. We each have something that no one else can offer, which is why we’re here. Don’t water yourself down just because someone else believes you deserve to be. Work on yourself bit by bit and I hope next time I can see this pile glowing.
**As I was finishing up I realized the first song could be from another point of view towards you and you're the second song, but that might only resonate for a few people**
Songs: Oogie Boogie's Song — Ed Ivory and Ken Page, Read Your Mind – Tayla Parx
Pile Four
Cards: Venus, First Quarter Moon, Cancer, Eros, Libra, Gemini, Cancer, Third House, Seventh House, Virgo, Second, Sagittarius, Uranus
Enjoying the finer things in life and all of it’s pleasures. I’m not really feeling an intense energy besides you starting off with a Britney song but it feels more like...hidden intensity. When pushed you’ll bite back. Besides that pretty calm? You know your worth and you’ve very giving to others. Can be a bit infatuated with the idea of love, but I don’t think it’s too unrealistic or imbalanced. You’re very peaceful but also determined to achieve your goals.
Not all my favorite signs??? So you definitely enjoy interacting with others, definitely flirting with and annoying people as well. I’m still getting a really chill energy despite having these signs hit the table haha. I think you’re pretty sweet, enjoy giving your time to others and would appreciate the same back *most* of the time. You can be sensitive to the energy around you considering we got both Venus and Eros before. I can see the messiness from here but I will look away because it’s funny.
Yeah, relationships are pretty important to you. Doesn’t have to be romantic, just making the connection with others puts a smile on your face. You could also be seen as someone who is really easy to get along with. Another thing is you might be known in your community? Like local, not a big name. I’m not sure why it shot out with that, but 3rd is giving me that your parents talk a lot or they’re very involved, therefore people end up knowing you. You could also be very dedicated to what you do? Maybe not a perfectionist but you take your job or craft seriously? So you could be seen as very intelligent or very gifted due to your ‘spotless’ record haha.
Okay also maybe a bit of a smart-ass because the second I said ‘what the hell is this’ I got the last song — which is basically ‘I do whatever I want’. I don’t think that’s your dominant personality, but as I said before there are times where people test you or think lowly of you and that’s when it comes out. Like ‘ah they’re too spineless to do that’ and then you do it to prove them wrong or just piss them off honestly. With the second house I don’t think it’s money that’s a concern, but more like that items that you have, or the clothes. It’s like how you’re seen and present yourself, which can be counted as valuables because they reflect you. Sagittarius and Uranus are both outspoken and well, you want to make sure you’re noticed sometimes.
Songs: Piece of Me – Britney Spears, OT – John K, Speak — DBMK, ^_^ – CHANMINA
#pick a card#pick a card reading#tarot reading#tarot readings#pac#pick a pile#tarotblr#mysticalcreations
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might be a controversial/unpopular opinion but i headcanon that any classic variant of sans has some sort of superiority complex going on. maybe not exactly that, but they're some flavor of self-righteous, i guess?
OKAY LISTEN. i'm not saying sans is a bad guy or anything (i love him very much i swear). canon sans is written really well in the sense that he's intentionally very vague and mysterious so we can speculate a lot on his past and intentions throughout the story. idk, maybe my reading is completely off but sans appears to me as a lovable asshole, especially to someone who is a child (frisk). he likes playing around with frisk - yeah it's harmless but still his advice tends to be vague, especially when it comes to battle tips lmao. just imagine in-universe how terrible his advice comes off to a child.
and like, the restaurant scene. sans is intentionally acting all blithe about letting a child die on his watch, under a promise - like i know it's supposed to be a funny off-hand comment to the player, but in-universe again he addresses this to a child. it's just- lmao this guy has some problems for sure.
i think being self-righteous is just tied to his role as a judge as well. he's always 'right' in his judgement, because that's what he is. i think it's just interesting to explore that particular aspect of sans' personality, that he acts in what he thinks is right, and he's always right, isn't he? maybe that's why i tend to enjoy undertale stories where sans somewhat assumes the role of the antagonist - it creates some fantastic dynamic with people around him who it seems like he never really connects well.
~ crowshipping anon
Crow!! Yayy!!
And I honestly kinda vibe with this interpretation honestly. I haven’t completely finished playing all the Undertale games myself (curse my lack of motivation 😭), but I watched a few playthroughs here and there, and it seems like something that could make sense.
Especially when he’s given such an important position like a being a Judge, his opinions and judgements are likely taken seriously by Asgore.
And the thing is, you can also make an argument for this with our most popular classic variants; the Murder Time Trio. Murder justifies what he does as being better that he does it instead of the human, justifies it with that he will eventually stop the human.
Really, he may even argue that his current actions don’t really even go against his job as the Judge; he has judged that the human must be stopped, and he has to do it because he’s the only one who can. I’ve even seen some ideas going around that maybe he views himself as the Angel from the Prophecy, having judged that the Underground will be free by death.
Horror is the entire reason his Underground started eating humans, and he is also the reason that the Core is damaged beyond repair. He didn’t want to sacrifice himself for the Underground, and he survived the event that took his eye, yet he still judged that Undyne and Alphys had to pay for their betrayal—and in doing so he decided that the rest of the Underground would be doomed to starvation or eating people.
He decided to trick Horror Papyrus into eating human meat even though Papyrus very clearly did not want to, and Horror doesn’t seem all too guilty about it—even as Papyrus goes out of his way to prevent Horror from eating humans at his own request.
I’ve even seen around by bigger Horror/Horrortale fans than me that Horror’s reasons for starving himself may not even be entirely selfless—such as for a moral reason or wanting others to have more food than him. But rather because he views it as beneath him and he won’t go “that low.” How canon that is, im not sure, but it’s interesting.
Then meanwhile there’s Killer. He sneers at Swap and threatens to kill him if he ever attempts to compare himself to Killer again, he holds the beliefs and mindsets of his human that were taught to him very closely and looks down on anyone who views things differently with contempt—especially if they attempt to “force” him to view things differently.
Things like mercy or kindness or hesitation are seen as weakness and things to take advantage of in his mind. Even himself is not free from this nihilistic, fatalistic, violence and apathetic driven worldview—-looking down on himself in Stage 1.
He will go out of his way to prove himself and his views right, even if that means doing exactly what Chara did and coercing/provoking someone into killing, attacking, hurting, etc, either themselves, others, or even him.
This is exactly what he was supposed to be, and it’s pointless to try and change or hope for anything more than what he or anyone else deserves. He probably finds Murder’s attempts to justify his genocides absolutely ridiculous. And Horror to be absolutely hypocritical. (Which is why Color’s specific way of approaching Stage 2, wanting to show him a better life—something new—rather than trying to change or fix him, worked so well.)
#howlsasks#crowshipping anon#killer sans#utmv#sans au#sans aus#killer!sans#killertale#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare’s gang#murder time trio#undertale sans#horrortale sans#dustale sans#horror!sans#dust!sans#murder!sans#something new sans#undertale something new#killertale sans#dusttale sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder sans#color spectrum duo#color sans#undertale aus#undertale au#horrortale
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this is personal so please don't reblog this bc I think its weird when I say personal stuff and people reblog it I feel like i shouldn't have to turn that setting on?? Lol
but...both of my parents are seniors. And neither one of them are doing very well health wise. My mom has nerve issues with her hand, diabetes and bad blood pressure, and has had multiple heart attacks, My dad had a fall and never really recovered and had some weird medical problems that we thought were strokes but they never confirmed it. He also got covid at the hospital for those problems so THANKS arizona hospitals
Anyway I get all that. And I wish i could help or be around more. But unfortunately my job (unless we get some cool changes in the agreement) require me to live in LA. I also LIKE living in LA (surprisingly with how much I hate traffic LOL)
But I always get SO STRESSED OUT during the holidays bc I visit them and I need to cross reference with my brother (but again he might not even CARE or be aware that this is happening bc...he just...kinda doesn't care when it happens and I DO see it). I need to ask him or his wife if this happens when I'm NOT here because I have a feeling it gets WORSE when I visit.
But each time I visit my mom finds a way to be a complete and utter bitch at my dad. And my dad IS frustrating. I totally get it. He's always been really frustrating but now its like...frustrating bc he does things that could endanger himself or chooses ways to not make things easier for himself out of pride or just being a senior and not wanting to admit stuff? Idk. I know its a fairly common thing. He also got phone scammed a few months back out of 7k$ and we all were like WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. He doesn't even like paying for COFFEE or good food for himself but LIED TO THE BANK to take out the money when they were like "This sounds like a scam sir" .....SO I GET IT. TRUST ME I GET IT.
But Thanksgiving was mostly good! Last Christmas (lol) I was stressed myself bc I was out of a job for a whole year and had to prep for a con and my car was on its last legs and like I said I just...get stressed LOL Its why i always drive. If I need to bail I absolutely will. Our family has NEVER been good during holidays. Its a lot of abused and abusive people with varying levels of addictions or mental illnesses (is it ANXIETY acting up this year? Or adhd induced RAGE from being overwhelmed! Has someone had TOO MUCH WINE and decided instead of being silly that they want to FIGHT!??! WHO CAN SAY!?!? ITS ANYONE'S GUESS!!!)
And Mom was just RELENTLESS last year. ANYTHING my dad did was a problem. ANYTHING he did...EXISTING...in a place he wasn't supposed to was like...a huge slight against her and because I had the audacity to be like "Mom relax. He's not doing anything" it meant I wasn't on her side or was insulting her or SOMETHING. And it completely blew out between me and her to the point she called my sister crying to try and be like LYDIA'S BEING HORRIBLE AND HATES ME ND SHE CALLED ME A BITCH(which I didn't but i VERYYYY nearly did because she was being a bitch) and like ...my sister is YOUNGER THAN ME LMAO. So my sister texted me like "what happened??" and I told her and she was like...AH. Okay I get it. Because my mom USED to live with her too but she pitched a fit at her and decided to basically run away from living with my sister and move in with her cousin. Then she left there (which honestly seemed the most stable?) and moved in with her sister. And she hated that too.(Running theme in this family is that my aunt is an ACTUAL bitch and I've known that since she came into the bathroom one time when I was sitting on the toilet bc I ran past her on the way into the house bc i REALLY had to pee and she came INTO the bathroom to scream at me for being rude.......but anyway) And then she ended up moving back in with my dad (They aren't married its just...basically roommates LMAO)
She hated living with my brother. My mom is like me. She's basically like a beta fish. She'll just bite the shit out of anything in her tank. I used to live with her and hated it.
LOL OKAY ANYWAY LONG STORY BUT basically....it was a fairly good holiday this time in comparison. I also left after a single day lol Bc I hate thanksgiving to begin with. Not 100% related to my family. I just think the holiday is stupid and pre-gaming christmas and a huge waste of money for someone who travels bc I'm gonna see all these maniacs in three weeks anyway.
I also had a deadline so I had a really good excuse to dip. Thank god.
But bc my parents helped me last year a lot I was like Let me do something REALLY minimal and take y'all out to breakfast. And on the way there my mom is sitting in the back seat behind my dad. My dad uses a cane but she doesn't like sitting in the front anyway. But she was sitting behind him and suddenly 'THE CAR SMELLS'.
Me genuinely thinking something was wrong like maybe I left the travel jerky i bought to eat on the way open. Or maybe I randomly smelled. Its a new car but I'm so used to my old car than anything potentially a problem is a stressor. But no. It was a not subtle way of bitching about my dad. And I was like....okay whatever let it go. Dad didn't say anything so lets just ignore it. Its only another hour or so. And then we get to the restaurant we were going to. My dad and I both get eggs and I ask if she can pass the ketchup. She hands ME the ketchup no problem. Then my dad uses it and sets it on the table. Pretty normal.
This is a thing ~I~ like to do. I like to put the condiments back in the holder thingies. Its not a deal breaker but its like...just a thing. Why have another thing in the way when we can put the ketchup back. So I can't reach it so I'm like "Mom can you tuck this back into the thing" "No. I don't want germs".
I knew exactly what she was doing and was like "Just put it back. I like to put them back." "NO. Its dirty. People touch it"
By this point the vein in my forehead is already throbbing. I go FINE. ITS FINE. I know exactly who you mean. And honestly I'm sure my dad does too and is just.....getting through it. I KNOW she's trying to rile ME up. She picks like a little fly at my dad all the time and its not to get a rile out of him bc she knows he won't really do anything about it. Unless she's hoping he'll blow up eventually and die. IDK (It might not be that drastic BUT Y'NEVER KNOW!!!)
So I let it go. And then she does that thing that bullys or abusers or idk what to even call this but she's done it to me HER WHOLE LIFE. She starts trying to act cute. "Can I have a bite of your eggs Lilly <3"
me "No. I don't want germs"
And now mom is mad. Not a total blow out but I know she's pissed at that. And I don't want this to totally melt down so i offer her the eggs if she really wants but she's already in a snit. THANKFULLY!!!!!!!!!! it blows over. Probably due it it being a massive carb bomb after yesterday's carb bomb. So before we head out I'm like Can you put the ketchup back now? I wanna put the syrup back too. SHE HUFFS. GOES "FINE" and picks it up as if it was covered in dog shit by the tip of her fingers.
AND I AM SCREAMING IN MY HEAD
THAT THIS IS WORSE THAN CHILDREN. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW. And she goes back into 1) doing NOT SO SUBTLE jabs at my dad. Using old insults she's always used but not SAYING its because my dad touched it but that PEOPLE touched it. BITCH YOU TOUCHED IT FIRST AND THEN ATE YOUR FOOD. She only washed her hands before eating bc she went to the bathroom AND she never wears a mask. You give two fucks about germs.
And then she has the audacity to say to me "THATS WHAT WAITRESSES ARE FOR"
which is A HUGE FUCKING TRIGGER FOR ME BC I USED TO WORK IN SERVICE. AND SO DOES SHE. IT DOESN'T ~MATTER~ WHAT THEIR JOB DESCRIPTION IS. IT HURTS ~NO~ ~ONE~ to pick up after yourself A LITTLE. Its just putting the ketchup BACK in the FUCKING CONTAINER. ALSO. WE VISIBLY SAW HOW SWAMPED THEY WERE. Its Black Friday they were hauling ass that day and we didn't end up waiting SO long but it was definitely a wait bc of how busy it was. So you're gonna make this lady who was ONLY NICE TO US. Didn't charge me an extra coffee bc I'm a mad lass who had a latte and a black coffee lmao AND She was Latina. Was there not some....Latina togetherness!??! HELLO!??? Very Mexican't mom. (we're not Mexican lmao)
And then on the drive home god I don't even remember exactly what it was bc the blood was in my ears and I was just trying to get them home so i could leave. She said something else that was VERY POINTEDLY about my dad and called it "PEOPLE" again. Like he's not stupid cmon man.
Like just for NO REASON. NOTHING my dad did had anything to really set her off on this. She was just being MEAN to be MEAN. And she KNOWS i hate it.
When i grew up I was always a lot closer to my dad and I can empathize with that. But...idk man we just had more in common? Even if she wasn't working super hard to make ends meet and he was middle class like I GET IT.
But there's resentment and just being a fucking bitch for no reason.
And again this is not to say like Oh my dad the poor uwu old man always getting beat up wah wah wah. Bc again he does a LOT to frustrate me on like...a blood pressure exploding way. But for him its just like...why would you DO THAT. Like we were in the middle of a walk with the family (my brothers family and me and the parents) and he goes OH YEAH LYDIA I MEANT TO SAY....You owe me money for the phone. Which was so fucking embarassing like why would you SAY THAT!?!?! Like i was so frustrated and like ugh. LOL And a thing my mom gets at my dad about is she's like "I SEE SENIORS ALL THE TIME OLDER THAN YOUR DAD THAT RUN MARATHONS" or whatever nonsense. And I'm like mom YOU can't even run a marathon or do half the thing these people say but also SOME PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT!?!?!? My dad had a pretty bad fall a while back and never really recovered from it. So its really frustrating when he CARRIES AROUND HIS CANE or chooses to not bring it with him...and he just...doesn't use it. Like literally I was like Dad you have to USE your cane to stand up and walk not just carry it around like a purse. "Its a psychological thing more than anything" *cue me bursting all the blood vessels in my brain* and my mom being like SEE!? I have to deal with this ALL THE TIME. *shakes desk* BUT YOU MAKE THINGS WORSE BY BEING A BITCH AT THE SAME TIME AGHHHHHHH
I just....genuinely wish I had normal parents and a normal holiday get together instead of dreading the end of the year that its something I HAVE to do because I genuinely love these people but the drive back my chest hurt, my head hurt, my throat hurt from ranting in my car my JAW hurt from clenching it from stress.
Like at this rate I'm gonna die before they do holy shit. And I think also because they're seniors and in bad health that I worry about them at the same time because....its not fair to either of them that they had to end up moving in together (It ends I think in march thankfully) and because they're seniors that I know...well this could be the last holiday i spend with them. So I make the effort, risk the covid and just go visit them when i can. But holy fucking shit.
lmao my mom LITERALLY just called me now like MY GODDDDDD LMAO HOW DID SHE KNOWWWWWW
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the thing is I find Dick Winters SO fascinating in the same way I do Eddie Kaspbrak. these seemingly “uptight” rule-followers lacking in self awareness, who are actually anything but this shallow fanon characterisation. Dick isn’t uptight, he doesn’t really care what other people are doing to the point of being a scold, he only cares that they allow him to do what HE wants to without hassling him about it. He only wants to follow rules that make objective sense. That is so funny to me, not just for how relatable it is, but because he’s this figure lionised as a hero by the show and yet he clearly has such disdain for how the military works. The paperwork and the politics of it all. He’s like let me get on with my job and stop sending me memos. I’m fine. Yes this is hard and frustrating but I’m fine. No we’re not doing that, it’s a bad stupid decision. I don’t want to be in charge but I will be because nobody else is doing it right. Please stop bothering me.
Nix can bother him though because he’s not trying to change him, he recognises that Dick isn’t some naive backwater idiot just because he’s an introverted celibate teetotaler. I also think Dick knows himself more than people think. He’s clearly very perceptive about others, that’s part of what makes him a great leader. It would be easy to write him as repressed and ignorant about his own emotions but there’s an element of pride and a simple, self assured, almost self-righteousness about him that’s more interesting to me. And way funnier. He’s like, I have examined myself and I know exactly who I am and so I don’t need to do that any more, thank you. (Seethes with jealousy when people take his friends away. For no reason)
The fact that he actually said of their friendship that he could “understand Nix and help him understand himself” is incredible. He’s so presumptuous lmao because, to me, Nix’s problems come from the fact that he ACTUALLY knows and understands himself in minute detail and has a lot of self loathing about what he finds there. I don’t presume to know more about his relationship to his real best friend than he did, so I’m taking this from the actor’s performances more than the real people here, but there’s something about the way Livingston portrays Nix so chock full of want. In his most emotionally vulnerable scenes it’s desperation and need for companionship that come through the strongest. Communicating what he wants even if it looks gutwrenching in the process. Ironically, as perceptive as Dick is, I think a big part of what makes their relationship compelling in the show is the way they’re always surprising each other. They’re interested in one another, and are the ones who know each other best because of it. Nix allows these surprising moments of vulnerability only around Dick, and in return Dick sees what it is he needs and, surprisingly, indulges him. That indulgence (being more kind, being bitchy, being silly) is in turn something Dick only really allows himself when he’s around Nix.
In simplified terms, I guess the arc of the dynamic is that Nix knows what he wants, and is distressed by it, and needs to be allowed to want at full volume without self consciousness. Dick isn’t fully aware of what he wants, and needs to come to that realisation; once he does become aware however, there would be little to no distress. To him, his desires are righteous and uncomplicated by virtue of being his - the conflict coming of course through period-typical logistics and homophobia. He might also come to his realisations and determine once again that ok, now he has realised these things, there’s no need to do anything about it. This is the way he feels about Nix and that’s fine, now it needs to be put away and never spoken of (Seethes with jealousy when Nix dances with a woman somewhere. For no reason)
Now, the thing is. I have always found it easier to write from the Self Aware Distressed character, because that’s closer to my own experience. The entirety of my 100k+ of Richie Tozier POV was just, “I know what I want and I’m gross for it. Unless?” It was pure wish-fulfilment. Imagine being allowed to want someone without shame. Imagine people seeing you want and not pelting you with rotten fruit like you’re Quasimodo.
It would be a really fun challenge to write from Dick’s POV where he’s not exactly repressing his feelings, but suppressing them. Getting on with it. Not ashamed, but not allowing himself to look, because that’s not pragmatic. HOWEVER there’s very little that hits harder for me than the moment an emotionally reserved character slips up and lets something show, and that would come more easily from being in Nix’s POV. But I’ve already written over 100k from a similar-ish character voice, and if I wrote in Dick’s POV I can write ad nauseam about Nix’s Big Brown Eyes, which is something I clearly didn’t do enough of in my reddie fic because I keep latching onto the same archetypes apparently. I can even put all of my unused Eddie Kaspbrak “physical exertion as conduit for self possession” tinhatting to good use, since Dick is a jock freak too. Rotating them in my mind like a compulsive rubik’s cube champion
#long post#winnix#band of brothers#sowwy….. thesis statement#the real issue is that I hate writing and I want to write so badly but I hate writing it’s painful
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i kinda want to read books again, i havent read any in .. more years than i know to remember but idk how to find anything i like, especially these days (i dont read fanfiction either .. , i tried a few times but it never really caught me q-q)
even when i was young i was somewhat picky (though there are plenty books im sure i finished but just .. dont remember) the last series i think i read was skullduggery pleasant (as i said, its been many years) but dropped it after it got a little 'weird' (in like .. i guess the shonen powerscaling problem, at least thats how it felt back then) and the annoying love interest boy that was seemingly only introduced so protag girl could do what normal girls do tm (i know theres many more books in the series so idk if hes actually more than that but eugh)
funnily enough i only seem to remember the books i loved so much i kept rereading them (the bartimäus trio, though i loved the forth prequel more than the others .. still sad i lost my copy of it in school) or the ones i stopped reading bc something completely threw me out of it-
there was one i literally only remember it was a protagonist (teen?) girl (is that a general common thing for the fantasy genre?) and she was travelling via a ship in that scene, idk if it was a flying one but something was different magical tm i think; and left it or ran away or so and sought shelter from the rain at some point and annoying boy caught up to her and they uuh .. started making out of nowhere?? (im sorry i literally only remember i felt rly uncomfortable and awkward, didnt like the boy, thought they had zero chemistry/felt forced AND i did NOT see it coming, like at all, maybe its my aro/ace/autism .. ness (that i wasnt aware of except being def different for most of my life, haha fun.) but i rememebr feeling like i got flashbanged by what i read, the only actual sentence i (think i) remember was "she felt the weight of his hips shifting onto hers" bc it weirded me out so much and i might just have stopped reading it at that point and never looked back lmao)
another one was one with a setting of having dragons and they were used like horses, also feathered! (though the cover picture, i think, was a big dragon eye surrounded by scales, pretty sure it annoyed me constantly but i might missremember, again its been so long and i went through things my brain wishes it could unlive) and the protagonist worked at a stable or soemthing (also girl? idk), last thing i remember was that all dragons started to go mad and kill themselves .. idk if i read any further
(honorable mention to uuh .. dämonenzeit (demon time), was a demon protagonist and it was a little brutal for my taste but when do you get a demon as the main guy, apparently there were two entries and i only read the first one, also lost that copy- Xarors (an OC of mine) first designs were based on the cover of that book and the thing the band 'disturbed' tended to use (the hooded guy with red glowing eyes) i was very original)
maybe all those were super well known ones and i just never knew (grew up without/extremely limited internet and tech in general after all.... the only one i knew was popular and also read all of it and had all parts .. was a certain bad wizard series that should not still be so popular *watches in horror as my niece gets into it and wants nothing but merch for it*) or really bad peepoo baby books, im possibly confusing or mixing some things bc i read quite a few ones with dragons and similar themes, but thats just what i remember/remember feeling like
(maybe i should see if i still have them somewhere and see how much is true of any of this .... though a part of me also doesnt want to)
#ganondoodles talks#personal#if anyone recognizes a book here feel free to tell me#and how wrong i was about everything or soemthing#idk why im even writing this#but these memories float up every timei think about trying to read books again#maybe posting about it once can help get rid of that#...and that stupid hip sentence ... will i ever be able to let it go idk#didnt have and still dont have alot of money so buying books i might not like is like :/#also if anything id want physical books#i already read and do too much on screens i dont want to read books there too
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There's Something Wrong With Sunny Day Jack (Demo) Review🌤️
TL;DR: Sunny days, keeping the clouds awaaaaaay~! ... Okay, but like what if our cloud is the "sunny day", and it won't go away? Do we even want it to at this point...?
Game Link: https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sunny-day-jack
Game Link (classic): https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sdj-classic
Notable Features: Gender Neutral language, Self-Insert, Yandere LI, Voice Acting, Create a cup of froyo ... yo Spiciness: 5.5/5 -- Let me tell you! It's a whole scene going down in this thing, okay?! FULLY delivered. The literal only thing that would've made this any spicier is if you saw it. You kinda do, but it's just out of frame. LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulation, possessive, lowkey obsessive, implied violence and possession, but like, I'm pretty sure I can fix him, so whatever, ya know?
Wanna know more? Lmao naaah. Not if you aren't at least 18, and I mean that. There is a WHOLE spicy scene in here. This one's for the adulty adults. Anyways, if you don't care about my yapping and/or you're in the 18+ club, let's get into it!
Okay, okay, okay, I know, yeah, I know, but listen...I'm only getting around to making the review now.
Okay, okay, okay, wait, stop, listen. I know that this game is damn near two years old, but I didn't start getting into reading visual novels until last year, and I didn't start taking the plunge to make reviews until this year so... :P
ANYWAYS! I do have news that you may not know yet! When I was looking for exactly how old this game is, I stumbled upon a little news~
As of me typing this (which was on the 28 August at about 9:30pm, but who knows when I'll actually post this review lmao), the game was updated an hour ago. I'm talking this shit is fresh out of the box! So, naturally, I went scouring for a download button...but then it occurred to me that that message said that it was for the $12+ tier of their patreon supporters. Not gonna lie, the spicy scene in that damn game has got a girl tempted, okay? But the way my bills are set up...
Okay, anyways, getting back on track because I've started yappin'. I'm going to go ahead and jump into this thing because, let me tell you, if you're like me, and you're late to this game, you've gotta hear about it! Granted, the download to the version that I'm talking about isn't available anymore (at least for the public/non $12 patrons), but the classic version is! I don't know how different it is though ^^;
Admittedly, because this game is almost two years old and because there's not a download link available currently, I might spoil it just a little so that you're not left too much in the dark about the game, especially since, again, the download link isn't available. That being said, it may still be spoiler friendly because habit lol.
But you get it by this point. Let's stop talking and start summarizing. Let's get into it!
So boom.
Basically, we're being...haunted?, we guess?...by this very attractive, but frankly super cheesy, children's TV show host. How'd it happened? We aren't really sure. We just remembered that we got some weird tape and was like "Huh...okay", watched it, and boom, here he is. Speaking of "he" and "here he is", here he is!
Everyone, this is the bae, Sunny Day Jack, but he doesn't mind being called just "Jack", so refer to him as such.
Jack has kind've been rocking with us for a few months at this point, and admittedly, it was very poor but really great timing. The reason why that is the case is because we had experienced something pretty tragic, and we were having a really hard time getting over it, but honestly? Jack's child-like explanation of working through problems and explaining emotions actually came in clutch, because we were lowkey able to get this far because of him. That being said...our relationship with him is getting a little blurred -- more than a little.
Ya see, things kind've...escalated between us, and we honestly aren't sure if we're glad that we got called into work or if we're pissed about it. Like, the undertones have been there for a while, but it was only today that those undertones became more pronounced and obvious. I mean, the man had his tongue-- ANYWAYS!
So, we go into work where our asshole manager ditches us because apparently the things that he has to do is way more important than us having a day off from babysitting and picking up the slack of our lazy ass co-workers. The only upside to this is that the day is likely to be slow because of the rain and that we're alone, meaning that we can openly talk to Jack.
Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot something super crucial -- we can see and hear Jack. More specifically, we can touch him, feel him, smell him, fuck him, the works, but, for whatever reason, others can't do the same. I guess it's like...medium privileges or being a ghost's host perks or something? Anyways, I'm getting off track. Gonna stop it there before I start spouting some stupid shit.
We kind've flashback to what happened right before our boss called, and whoo boi, does that steamy feeling come back full force. It's weird, because it's like Jack can read our mind about how we felt so comfortable and so safe and so protected and, frankly, so curious about him and what all went down in that moment. Jack basically reassures us that the feelings that we have are okay, and what would be best described as "love". Oh...oh, haha, uh...
"Nah, dawg, it's not love."
"Well...do you love me?"
AYO? I beg your finest pardon, sir!? Like, he's just gonna come out the woodwork with that shit?!
Regardless, he's still reassuring us that, "It's okay if you see me as bae" and we're just "We're roommates, dude, and seeing someone as bae is way more complicated than you're making it sound!" He pretty much just laughs it off and is like "Well, either way, I'll be here. Always. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'll be anything and everything that you need". Oof, that is...a bold ass claim, and one that we're not so entirely sure we should trust...but damn does it feel good to hear those words and have some support...anyways.
Our work day continues, we run into this awkwardly cute guy (I'll explain more later), our whore of an ex-boyfriend called and ruined our fucking mood, Jack lays down some more heavy words of reassurance, and the day goes onto the next.
Unfortunately, we land ourselves back at work, but fortunately without the "un-", we are alone and can freely talk to Jack again. Like mentioned, the guy is a ghost, but he's so very real, just not to others, which can be super disorienting sometimes; this is one of those sometimes. Jack wanted us to make him a yogurt and...oof, his reaction was...
...less than thrilled. Disgusted, even. Horrified.
Now, this doesn't sound like a huge detail or issue, but he actually got a bit scary here because, what is this shit that he's spouting about us "not being that type of person anymore" and "being better than that, now"? Like, when I say that this man -- clown? ghost? -- had a full shift in personality, and it was just...fear in his eyes, desperation in his voice? Like, he looked and sounded absolutely haunted and terrified of something. Like, this was beyond the horror in a cup that we apparently made him experience; it only triggered it.
Thankfully, although awkward, he easily moves past this saying that the combination of flavors just threw him off, and a customer walks in to provide a diversion for an extra layer of safety.
Oh! It's that awkward but polite cutie from the other day!
When we see him, or rather when we hear the door, we say our awkward ass, lame ass greeting, and it's kind've an opener for him to start some super brief small talk. He eventually takes the plunge and shoots his shot. Now, personally, I think the guy is damned adorbs, but at the same time, it's just...it's too soon. That mixed with this whole thing we've got going on with Jack...
We're pretty conflicted on how to answer, un-- Wait, huh? What did...?
Did-- Wait, Jack wants us to tell him that we have a boyfriend? And what does he mean that "it doesn't even have to be a lie"? ... He said the thing again, too. That thing about being whatever he wants us to be.
This is so anxiety inducing, too, because it's like, first off, we weren't expecting to hear him talking to us, and second, we can't acknowledge him in any shape, way, or form. Jack is quite literally looming right behind us, whispering in our ear, and we cannot so much as look his way without the guy in front of us thinking that we've completely lost our shit. Even still, our feelings for Jack have been complicated lately. Should we even take that plunge? Something about doing that doesn't seem right, though...
...We tell the guy that we don't have a boyfriend. Before he gets his hopes up too much, though, we tell him that we aren't really looking for anything right now, either. The guy leaves. The store is quiet, and we're left with alone with Jack with that awkwardness from earlier back in the air at full force; he's the first one to speak.
He apologizes and starts asking if he's pushed anything onto us that we didn't want. Before we can really answer though, he apologizes again. He explains that he thought that he was speaking in terms of what we wanted, but he keeps going back and forth like he's trying to find the right words but also figure out where he misunderstood; better yet, and more accurately, he's trying to figure out why he misunderstood in the first place. The poor guy is honestly so pitiful at this point, and we try to stop him from rambling and reach out for him... but our hand falls right through him.
Obviously, we start panicking, and Jack explains to us that he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want him to do nor feel comfortable with, and if it's him that we don't feel comfortable with and it's him that we don't want...this is what happens.
Okay, now, we're past the point of panicking; we're on the verge of tears because had we known us saying "No, I don't have a boyfriend" meant that Jack would start questioning if we actually wanted him around and fading away, we would've never said it. True to his optimistic nature, Jack reassures us that he's not "fading away" or "disappearing", and we're just like "Dude, piss off with that. Now, is not the time" because it's like, bro, this isn't a joke or us not wanting to get up for work; this is serious.
Jack chills with the reassurance and explains that he understands that we're serious, but that this isn't an issue that he can fix himself. Jack basically said that our words -- better yet our acceptance or denial of him -- are very weighted and that the only way to fix what's going on right then and there is to reaffirm that we accept him being there and truly meaning it, and that's only because he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want or need from him.
Even still, do we really trust him fully enough to do this? He's not the kind of guy to hurt us, is he? I mean, it's Sunny Day Jack. Then again, we also thought the same about---
"Hey."
"Yeah, Jack?"
"I know it's scary, I honestly do, but you can trust me. All I want is to be with you, protect you, and make you happy; that's what I'm here for."
All of that sounds so nice, too nice, but...
Can we trust him so easily...?
We really shouldn't...
But that horrible, heartbreaking moment...
That pain that Jack somehow made bearable, took away even...
That companionship he gave us in the place of loneliness...
His comfort...
His gaze...
What's wrong with feeling good? Why doubt him, and why feel like this unique and irreplicable connection is a bad thing? It's like Jack said: these feelings are okay; it's normal. There's nothing wrong with this.
...Right?
Y'all. You all. Guys. Gays. Theys. People. Friends. MY friends. SQUAD. (all right, enough...)
Hot and bothered, bothered and hot. Like, please allow me like 3 - 5 sentences of degeneracy. Between Jack and Ren (iykyk) ... Ren still laid down the pipe better but Jack?? Jack was a damned close second. Like, did you see the way that man was looking in our eyes and holding us? Then he's so big and masculine looking and ahhhhh~! That is BAE right there!
Anyways, getting back on track, when I had to go back and get those screenshots, what should've taken me like 5 - 10 minutes took me like 30+ minutes because I had to relive these moments. I had to relive this story! Like I mentioned earlier, the game is damn near two years old, but it reads like new, you feel me? The story, the implications, the art style, the scenes, the drama -- ahhh! I LIVE. I ASCEND. Like, when these developers hit the mark, they hit the damned mark with such precision!
I'm pretty sure that it's been mentioned at this point, but do you know what I loved the most about this visual novel (degeneracy aside, of course lol)? The subtle but oddly specific ass details that you're sure to miss or gloss over if you're not paying attention. I'm talking those details that you probably wouldn't catch until you've already read it once, seen how things have panned out, and then read through it again. Like, how it described us feeling cold whenever we thought about Jack leaving or fading away from us, or how the air would feel like syrup or cotton candy whenever he spoke to us, or how we'd get all warm in the most literal sense whenever Jack was near, or feel full, or completed, or -- the list honestly goes on. Like, there's a lot of allusion to being slowly corrupted/possessed by Jack, because this guy is a ghost, remember? Yeah, I had lowkey forgot, too.
Those specifically subtle details really made the story come together, and once I caught onto what was going on, I was just like, bro, the signs were there! I'd have to say that my absolute favorite "subtle" sign was when Jack always seemed to know exactly what we were thinking, almost like he was able to read our thoughts, but as soon as we started to "reject" him, all of a sudden he wasn't exactly sure what we thought. He went from responding to our thoughts to questioning what we may have been thinking about. Like, what? Go the eff off SnaccPop!
I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this frickin visual novel. I could ramble and geek way more but I'm gonna start wrapping it up before I start yappin' too, too much. Just allow me a few more sentences, a paragraph or two, please.
I. Cannot. Wait! For the full and official release! I am so excited to see how the team is going to mold this story and how things are going to pan out. I'm excited to see how and if we're able to get away from Jack because, at this point, he has a damned strong hold on us, but I'm speculating that our horror movie fanatic and director friend is going to come in clutch for this one.
If it was not obvious (and honestly, if you were somehow later to this game than I was) 100/10 would recommend, and I am recommending. It is so good, and I really hope that I'm not over hyping it, because the foundation that has been built for this story is so damned solid. Like I mentioned way earlier, unfortunately, you can't play the (free) updated demo anymore, but you can still play the classic one; I just don't know how different it is compared to the new version. Either way, I'll give you the link to both just in case (Update | OG). If you're able, definitely give them that monetary support and play the updated version. Hell, tell ME how it is because...I really don't want to put off my bills but, at this point, Jack has me in a fucking chokehold all over again. What's an extra, unplanned $12 at this point? Also, if able, visit the game's page and give SnaccPop that ever so encouraging but thirsty "NEED. MOAR. I mean, you take your time because perfection can't be rushed, and I know you all are people with a life and other responsibilities and such, BUT I NEED. MOAR. IT'S SO GOOD. STAND AND DELIEVER. ...please UwU I beg OTL"
Meh, that was highkey three paragraphs, but I'm not gonna split it so it can still be the two paragraphs that I requested. Lol sorry for pushing it there, but I'm done now! Promise. No more yappin'. The yap has been concluded, and I'm gonna go ahead and head out.
Big preesh for getting this far, and please, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!
Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Updated; download not available to public)
Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Classic; download available)
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There was like, a very brief period where there was a few 'jimmy cheated on scott' fics. I guess I know why now. Personally it makes me uncomfy for two mains reason: 1) Its a wholly made up scenario just to make Jimmy the toxic one. 2) I can really only personally see it as a Scott narrative. You know, That Type of Ex who says 'no' when someone says they want to break up. (And 3) they tend to tag the cheating ship as the ship and personally it's a bit upsetting to be looking up a ship and get a fic where they're cheaters and its all about this other character overcoming them, but that's a personal ick thing and they are using the tagging system correctly technically, its more a problem with there being no way to differentiate those types of ship tags from each other. It's just a bit personally upsetting to see a fic tagged with your ship and also 'happy ending' but the happy ending is them falling apart and unhappy which makes the cheated on party happy with no warning that's what it meant. Rambling, sorry...)
I think if you wanna interpret Jimmy as toxic y'ought to focus on the post-relationship period (honestly I feel this way about fh in general, nothing in their brief time together is nearly as interesting as their time after reacting to their ex to me) cause you could make a case for Jimmy being unnecessarily hostile and not wishing Scott well at all. (This I think works best if the relationship was toxic cause then you have a guy going to the opposite extreme in reply to a bad relationship, but works just as well Jimmy being That Ex that always says their ex was crazy that Scott also play in DL)
Personally I don't think there's a good faith way to dig into the thing Jimmy might have done wrong while ignoring the more obvious things Scott did wrong, but exploration is the point of fanfics and AUs. And I've read fics where people make Scott out to be Jimmy's only supporter in DL while everyone else bullied him and completely rewrote entire scenes to make Scott the hero, so you know, clearly a market for rewriting Scott's character specifically.
But my go to for toxic Jimmy in the context of fh is him being neglectful. Jimmy's always been half-hearted about the dynamic, including reframing it in his e1 pov, I think it isn't much of a stretch to elaborate that into full on getting into a relationship he wasn't enthusiastic about to begin with and the few things he does to contribute being token gestures. Maybe Jimmy tends to think the worst of the things Scott does and assume he's being condescended to (I think this works especially well if you want to make one or both autistic, cause it's very easy to read Scott's tone as such if you aren't on his wave length and Jimmy is very easily offended especially later on). I think maybe some wouldn't like that just because it requires having Jimmy not be enthusiastic about being with Scott, though.
If you interpret Scott as Aro and Jimmy as Ace, also, you can make an argument for them just doing all the wrong things and that building up resentment between them where neither want to do anything the other wants to do and that barrier of miscommunication only growing until it collapses in on them both.
But yeah, I personally have trouble not making both of them toxic if Jimmy is going to be toxic, but again most exploration fics focus in on one thing, so...
^^^for the other anon
I actually don't read much fic but yeah this makes sense to me. FYI i think the "cheating" read comes from people interpreting him and Scott as not fully broken up during the events of post-3L because there's never really a formal "we're not together anymore" announcement. But yeah looking for something for your ship and having it turn out to be a cheating fic is WILD LMAO
I don't vibe with a lot of this because I'm not fun BUT the aro scott/ace jimmy part is awesome I'm glad that seems to be catching on.
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hi rem, remember me? I'm the anon who asked about what type of stuff to do in the early 2000s! I'm back to share a success story!
long ask ahead
short 'backstory' for those who might be in a similar situation as I was: I used to be in a very difficult situation. I've been bullied for quite literally no reason ever since kindergarten and had no friends because of that. I stayed inside, rotting in my room while all other people my age lived their teen years to the fullest. later on, I was diagnosed with autism and came out as trans which made the bullying even worse. another problem was that I had only one year of school left and already signed a job contract with a company that I didn't even wanna work at. I just felt so lost and like I'm not made to live like this
how I did it: I randomly discovered this post and it pretty much changed my whole perspective on the void. I already knew that the void was just a meditative state but I never quite… realized it? like I'd say that yet still treat the void as this magical place that manifests instantly. I also 'forced' myself to not stop until I actually entered the void, no matter how long it would take (tho I didn't actively affirm that it'd take long). I just laid down, set the intention to tap into the void and occasionally affirm 'i am', that's all.
stuff I manifested:
changing the year to 2005 (fyi, I manifested taking my phone with me just to write this
revising my age from 16 to 14
revising my birth year from 2006 to 1991 (since that'd make me 14 in 2005
a 'time loop' // I'm gonna elaborate on that one since it's a bit confusing. I saw this on another anon ask a while ago and found it so cool! basically, I manifested that the year is 2005 permanently. like every new years eve, the date will just change to 2005 again. ages also don't change even tho people celebrate their birthdays. nobody dies/ages and nobody is born. this also feels natural and not like some weird sci-fi movie plot lmao (kinda like in pokemon where this mf ash has been 10 for 25 years
immortality for everyone (goes hand in hand with the time loop)
living in the city
living with my brother
new friends (manifested an exact friend group from my fav manga)
just my entire ideal life
my exact ideal appearance
my ideal name
revised being amab
being better at dealing with my autism (i didn't manifest it away, that just felt wrong to me)
and so much more but I can't remember…
fun fact for anyone who's still reading: my fav character from my fav manga started out being my df, then became my db, then my ideal voice, then I stole their name and their birth date, then their family members, friends, etc. and at last their literal life, like I literally self inserted myself into the manga as them. btw, it's also set in 2005, can you guess which manga it is?
thanks for reading!
STOP THAT IS SO EXCITING!!!! you're making me wanna go back to 2005 so bad!!! did u manifest your fav music still existing in 2005 bc i'd miss it so much
im so proud of u 🥺 i wish u nothing but happiness!!! <3 enjoy your new life, you deserve it!!!
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i’ve always taken “show me you care about something bigger than you” as vanessa trying to get wade to do things that matter outside of his need for external validation. he tells happy he wants to be an avenger because he needs it, because he needs a reason to matter. at that point in his life, he was looking for big gestures or flashy ways to show those around him that he was important, that he had a place in the world outside of his usual brand of violence. he wasn’t necessarily thinking about doing things for the sake of others.
and then he goes to sacrifice himself at the time ripper for the sole reason to save his family. he doesn’t care about what it means for him, if it’ll finally make him matter, he just wants to do whatever he can to keep his family and logan safe. saving his family might not change the world, or be an issue that affects thousands, but it is bigger than wade. he saves them because they need it, bc their lives are far more important than wade’s own need to matter.
i hope i explained my thinking well 😅
ohhh this makes sense!! but then it kinda doesn't line up with everything else if you see his progression throughout all the movies—not saying that your explanation is wrong because honestly it's probably right LMAO (at least more right than whatever i was spouting in that post, but then again wade probably hadn't even understood what she was trying to say hence why he tried all those things) but more so the writers' fault in terms of not caring about continuity. this just feels like a repetition of deadpool 2 where vanessa said wade's heart wasn't in the right place, and then he proved that it was by sacrificing himself for russell
also another thing that didn't make sense to me was that vanessa broke up with wade because he never got back up when the avengers rejected him. but he only went to the avengers because he wanted to show vanessa that he mattered, which seemed like a point she only brought up during the breakup—and also something she didn't seem to have a problem with before. it would make sense if she raised the issue before which then led to him going to the avengers, but i don't think that's what happened??? who the hell knows though since they didn't show us shit
the breakup scene as a whole is just very underdeveloped lmao and i guess they just wanted to get to the whole wade and logan thing but i wish they focused more on this
#user: gossippool 😝#gossippool asks#i will forever and always be a wade and vanessa truther#in my heart they're still together and wade and logan are also together. don't ask how#but also i feel that self-sacrificality isn't necessarily the opposite of wanting external validation ykwim?#like i think wade at any point would have sacrificed himself for his family#but i still think ur right tho bc wade did repeat happy's words at the time ripper about doing it because they need it#but if we're on that whole character progression thing i don't think the time ripper/saving the world was the best choice-#for him to learn that lesson just because the stakes are so high#but that's for another day lmaoo#thank u for the ask anon!! <3 much to think about#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wade wilson
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