#but their affection is literally nothing to them

[rexkqjil0]

This inst a jab at the game, but I remeber that in my first playthrough of baulders gate 3 I was convinced that you were under a time limit, I long rested as sparingly as possible, only to realize the game rarely tracks time like that.

I also remember the game making a big deal of not using the illithid powers because they were bad, so I didn't use them, only to learn they affect literally nothing and it's actually optimal to use them.

I can't think of better examples of leudonarrative dissonance.

We often talk about "ludonarrative dissonance" in terms of morality and situations like "the story says violence is bad, but the gameplay enables and encourages you to kill things" but my actual fave version of it is "the story says you have a very serious plot-relevant time-sensitive thing to do, but the gameplay enables and encourages you to buzz off into the world and search for collectibles for five weeks"

[itsgivingmami]

Did someone say a fluff request? From me? From Poor Little Magpie?

Rhea and reader after their first time together, Rhea went to the bathroom to find a wash cloth and panics, contemplating wether if she was too rough or scared you off, you drag her back to bed and clean her off (with great endurance comes great sweat) After Rhea treating you so well, you treat her with hugs and kisses.

Or!

Sweet nothings and pillow talk turns into reminiscing and laughing about the beginnings of Rhea and yours relationship!

Or like, both tee hee 💗 Maggie

You got it gorgeous😘

Seraphic

Rhea Ripley x fem reader

Warnings: bruising, smut, minimal angst

     "Please,"  you moan with your head thrown back melting into the pillows behind you, fists gripping at your lovers sheets as you hips buck up trying to get closer to the hand literally inside you. The other one takes a firm hold on your chin and tips it down when she raises to hover over your flushed body.

The way you’re whimpering under her body is making her heart race and she wants nothing more than to keep you like this as long as possible. Wishing her hands were made for painting instead of fighting so she could capture you forever sprawled out for her.

You want to tell her everything, you love her, you need her, she looks beautiful and not to stop but Rhea doesn't give you the chance. Her lips are heavy on yours forcing your confessions and whimpers into her mouth, swallowing them hungrily. “I'm so close”

     You resort to grabbing at her as tight as you can manage without affecting the way she's controlling your body. You're becoming breathless as she kisses you until she catches your bottom lip between her teeth with a delicious sting you gasp and fall apart against her hand. Rhea tucks her face to your neck as your nails dig into her, it sends her body into erotic shivers. She reminds herself that this is your first time together, she's already coaxed two orgasms out of you and to allow you to come down.

    "So good, so gorgeous," she praises as she pulls as much pleasure as she can from your writhing body.  She removes herself from your neck to see your face, "I wish you could see how pretty you look right now,"

    She kisses down the length of your body as she removes herself fingers from your core, you let out a soft whine and she chuckles nibbling at the skin of your stomach in retort. She wipes her fingers on the inside on your thigh before coming back up to to cup your face gently. Your heavy lids are looking at her lazily, a soft smile on your face.

    "Hi," you whisper, you hands wrapping around her biceps as your body shakes for a moment and you take a deep breath.

    "Are you cold?" Rhea asks as she reaches for the duvet but you hold her arm steady and shake your head,

    "I'm not cold," you tell her quietly, embarrassed to explain your legs shaking despite the culprit being face to face. Rhea takes a second look at your thighs, she can see the place where she had held you gently blossoming a deep burgundy. "Rhea-"

   "Lemme go get a wash cloth," she says quickly as pulls herself off you gently, you sit up and she gently pulls the duvet towards you offering it if you want it. She doesn’t turn around to see you staring at her in a pool of her sheets.

    Rhea flicks the light in the en suite on and leans against the counter. The cold against her pelvis brings down her temperature and the bright light above her feels assaulting compared to the low light you two had been in.

She bruised you. Fuck. She had been mindful too tone down her dominance but little bits had slipped through the wall. You two had known going into this exactly who would play which role but for your first time together she had every intention of starting off right, showing you the love you deserved, the real love she had for you before she told you about the other ways she wanted to use your body. Not this soon, she found herself panicking about scaring you and in turn loosing you.

    "Babe," Rhea looks up from the counter to see you leaning on the door frame, your hairs a mess and your legs still have a slight wobble but as you stand in front of her you look nothing short of an angel. It makes her chest clench, maybe shes too dark for you after all, “Are you okay?"

    "Couldn't find a cloth," she tells you and you push off the wall towards her, the tile is cold on your feet as you take short steps. She watches you in case your knees buckle but you make it in front of her just fine. Looking down you pick up the grey cloth folded by the side of the sink inches from her.

    "Talk to me," you plead softly and her chest pangs, turning to face you again she gently tucks a lock of your tangled hair behind your ear.

    "I hurt you," she sighs as you stare at her confused until you see where her gaze had landed. Her strong fingers tips had left their path, you grinned as you saw them not realising they were there. What a second did she say hurt?

   "I actually thought you were being kinda gentle," you admit and her eyes widen at you, "I like them..." you brush over the quickly darkening marks and shiver again when a small flourish of pain blossomed.

     "I was being gentle," Rhea agrees and grins watching you, "I'm afraid of being too much and the last thing I want to do is hurt you,"

    "And if I like that too?" You challenge trying to tell her that you really didn't mind in fact you loved being able to have her marks on you for a few days, a sinful reminder of her. You giggle lightly as you tease her, but as you meet her eye you realize her gaze is still serious. Sighing gently you turn away from her towards the shower, the sound of water hitting the tile makes Rhea turn to look. Having assumed you’d decided to get dressed and leave she was shocked to see you still there. “Come shower,” Rhea watches you, looking for any sign of discomfort but as she doesn’t move you start to grow impatient. “Please? I need you,”

Her feet move before she can think about it hearing you ask for her so softly and you reach for her when she’s close enough. In her fear of hurting you she’d completely slipped on aftercare. She internally berated herself as she held her hand out to test the temperature of the water.

“What else do you need?” Rhea asks, you think for a moment before you step into her gate and wrap your arms around her waist. Your cheek lays just above her bare breasts and you press your bodies together, the only thing you can think to show her you’re not afraid.

“I need you to believe me,” you plead and place a soft kiss to the top of her breast, her inked arms come to wrap around you tightly and you let out a breath of relief. “And maybe round two?”

~

An hour and a half later your laying on top of fresh cool sheets in your girlfriend’s T-shirt and a pair of her boxers, your body feels warm and floaty, a combination of afterglow and post shower comfort.

“Baby girl,” your attention is drawn from the ceiling as Rhea comes back in the room with a glass of ice water, you sit up and she takes a seat in front of you. You lift the cup to your mouth and Rhea can’t help but stare at the way your throat moves, adorned in her marks, as you swallow. You drink half before trying to put it on the night stand, Rheas strong hand takes it from yours, sips it and places it. A firm hands rests on your thigh and you smile, she’s touching you more freely now and you couldn’t be happier.

Her shyness and concerns reminded you of the first time she wanted to hold your hand, but kept chickening out until you did it herself.

“Thank you,” you murmur leaning to her shoulder, placing a quick kiss on her skin. You’re thanking her for the water, for her care, for loving you.

“My sweet girl,” she tells you, although your three oragasms deep and covered in evidence of her passion she can’t help but see you glowing in light.

[punkeropercyjackson]

🍫Zuko headcanons🍫

🍫Multiracial asian but mainly japanese ancestry.It's confirmed in one of the novel's there was a cultural unification in-universe so as a biracial latina,i'm taking this as mixed-coding

🍫Trans man who dosen't mind dipping his toes into femininity when asked(usually by Aang)but generally strongly perfers masculinity in his presentation.His egg cracked in his toddler years and due to his societal position,getting t and surgeries was very easy and his top surgery scars are dragon wing shaped

🍫Also sorry short king Zuko nation but i'm a 2nd tallest member of The Gaang Zuko truther.Katara is 6'7 and Zuko is 6'4(and goes without saying she uses it to tease him and calls him 'Squirt' and he sputters and yells at her every time)

🍫Autistic with anxiety,bpd,npd and ptsd.That no masking game rbf is iconic and he also has chronic pain and fatigue and uses a tricked up cane Sokka made him that's also a sword and goes with saying he's legally blind in his scar eye

🍫Tradgoth.Emo Zuko is fake and so is punk Zuko and grunge Zuko and literally any non-goth Zuko and i'm including poser goth Zuko.In a modern au he'd walk around looking like Spencer's ate him up then vomited him out into an empty grave he dug his own way out of Jason Todd style and a cunti maximus.He would also listen to death rock,Korn and breakcore,slander Hot Topic,encourage diy and online store shopping,play pirated horror games(and Animal Crossing),collect lost media items,do deepdive research into urban legends as a special interest,attend moshes,skateboard and do piercings for neighbourhood kids who ask him(including Aang🫶🏽)

🍫Fat/Dad bod.Give that guy some REAL thickness,none of that dehydrated bodybuilder bullshit.It was caused by him eating a lot more and a lot healthier,both from his healing arc with a new enviorment that's actually good for him and to sustain himself in training and Aang also has some chub going on but from the start of the series and he helps Zuko know there's nothing wrong with big builds and Zuko has pretty much no body insecurities as a result just like he does(it dispelling fears of resembling Ozai as he got older certainly didn't hurt)

🍫Katara and him are honorary siblings and she's his way cooler little sister figure and he's her older brother only she can bully 2:Electric Boogalo.I like to think they make matching friendship bracelets with eachother's aesthetics(so a sea themed one for Zuko and a gothic themed one for Katara)and Zuko convinces Katara to emotionally rely on him even if she'll never see him as a dad like Aang and Toph do and it eventually works

🍫He also is the reason she discovered cat cafes and she goes to them bi-monthly now as comfort and to unwind from all her constant activism.Zuko's a huge fan of cat cafes too and they were safe spaces for him pre-banishment and one of the first thing's he did when the war ended was go to one again.Whoever Zuko is dating is given cat cafe punch cards by him as one of the ultimate romantic gestures in his mind(he right though)

🍫Calls Aang 'My Sunshine',a nickname that fits his sunny personality but also to say he gave him the strength he needed to connect to his own power to save himself by bringing the sun back into his life in his hand,extended to him to give him a chance even when he was too caught up to see he had one.Less setimentally,he also calls him 'Mittens'

🍫Bites as affection,little nibbles or straight up enough for the other person to bleed depending on how cool they are with.He asks and establishes consent first obvs even in the former cases

🍫Boba is the only kind of tea he likes.Don't @ me with 'he spit it out when Iroh invented it and had him try it',he was just surprised at the tapioca balls.His favorite flavors are brown sugar,cotton candy,funfetti,berrymix and oreo

🍫SUPER physically affectionate with Aang and it started once sided on his part but Zuko soon starting instigating it too instead of tolerating it to enjoying it about two years into their friendship.If he goes too long without an Aang hug he finds it upsetting and it pisses him off

🍫Very into gems,odd rocks,seashells,etc and has a secret stockpile in his room

🍫Pretty long hair,all the way down to his hips and perfers it out of his face,in a back of the head ponytail or half-up in a bun with the rest loose

🍫Always knew he was bi subconciously but didn't realize it until he was 16.He's that one tweet-'I'm probably a faggot x2 combo but i got a quest so idrc about that rn'

🍫Modern au Zuko is obsessed with PushPops.Don't question it,just know i'm right and may figure out a way to canonize them to core Atla

🍫Apologized to Azula and rebuilt a relathionship with her as soon as he released her from prison as The Gaaang were struck with how broken and not 'too far gone' she is.It took a long time and so much fucking work but The Fire Siblings finally felt comfortable seeing eachother as family and acting as not legit beefy but healthy siblings

🍫Has a voice tic where he constantly sounds angry and can't control it and he has to learn to tell people so they don't mistake it for lashing out at them

🍫Likes wearing long sleeves for that flap stim and drumming his fingers but to create a musical sound rather than for the sake it of as a stim too.Crushing stims are a Zuko trademark

🍫'Why does Zuko call you babygirl?''Aang,how about we just stop talking for a little while?' < every Zuko ship

🍫Dangly lemon quartz material dragon earrings

🍫Adores Choose Your Own Adventure comics and books!!He loves choosing his own destiny alright /lh /pos

[abby118]

This still hurts. They often say you can fear things so much you unintentionally will them into existence... one of Viktor's fears was being forgotten, not contributing to the world in a way that would make a difference.

And you might say he still went down in history, which is true, in a way, but they remember the Machine Herald. The one person who knew the truth, who knew Viktor, died with him and is now seen as the saviour, as the defender of tomorrow, rightfully so, but the people of Piltover (and Zaun) don't have the full context of those events.

Jayce would hate being the only one credited for their work. He would never have been able to pursue his dream without Viktor. The dream would not have existed without Viktor and Hextech would never have been invented in the first place had Viktor not stopped Jayce's attempt and supported him. That is what happened in the reality Ekko found himself in; Jayce had died and Viktor soon followed because their lives are inextricably bound. There was no cure for his terminal illness with Jayce gone.

Jayce always saw Viktor as his equal on an intellectual and individual level, he saw him as his partner, regardless of his origins and his disability. There is freedom in being seen as a person beyond an illness but seeing someone completely apart from disability, it's easy to lose sight of how deeply they're affected, not just as a struggle or a motivator but as something that completely alters world view. He often forgot Viktor was from the undercity, maybe not consciously, I do believe Jayce was aware of the problems related to Zaun, and the prejudice directed towards Zaunites, but he never quite grasped the full extent of how it affected Viktor. It took Jayce getting disabled and walking a similar path to Viktor's to truly see the world through his eyes, or as close to it as one can get. It took him a fall into the depths of Zaun and a shattered leg, hitting rock bottom in the literal sense of the word, and then having to climb up into Piltover, just like Viktor did, to realise he had unintentionally been overlooking how different Viktor's world was. All those years he had been facing struggles invisible to Jayce and Jayce could never have known because he saw him as an equal, he was still detached from the experience because loving someone with a disability and living with a disability are two things. That is why his words mattered so much. It wasn't coming only from the place of love (whether platonic or romantic that doesn't matter, really, though I'd say it was clear enough) but lived experience.

People's worst fear is often others seeing them the way they see themselves and Jayce did, and it changed nothing. He still loved him the same. "-but you were never broken, Viktor" didn't mean 'You are one of us', it meant 'You are yourself and that's enough, it has always been enough' and there is a difference in those statements. To someone who, despite believing in his work's worth, didn't particularly value himself, there must have been a difference.

The Hexgates were theirs.

You know what I hate? The irony of Viktor teasing Jayce for signing every page of his notes during their first meeting, with the implication that he is afraid someone else might claim his work for themselves, only for Viktor's name to then be erased from the Hexgates documents by the end of Season 2 and their work attributed to Jayce alone.

Like yes, in retrospect, they should have signed every page together, and maybe even put some unremovable watermak on their blueprints so Viktor's involvement couldn't be ignored.

[m--bloop]

ㅢ

[tackykachowch]

How it feels to not like timebomb after s2

[schreeuwekster]

A lot of the strength level difference is not just due to muscle mass. Its due to things like skeletal structure, bone densisty, etc. The body cannot do everything at once. The female body is specialised away from strength in order to create, grow, and sustain life through pregnancy and breastfeeding and recover from that physically traumatic event quickly. The male body is specialised towards strength and endurance to protect the female and their young. It's really a case of biological dimorphism at it's core.

Muscle mass isn't a thing in isolation. It's dependant on a lot of things - how does the body want to grow muscle, store fat, how do their hormones work. The fact that women who work out at insane levels and have a low body fat percentage literally lose their fertility *is* an indicator that it isn't in line with our natural functioning.

Prehistoric men also would have been stronger than modern male athletes. The human species - across the board - shifted to a more intelligent, specialised species.

Women aren't men. That's ok. We can do a lot of things they can't. Besides the obvious creation of life, we are better able to tolerate pain, we heal quicker - especially if you've had children. You get some of their stemcells through the umbillical cord and they can heal you in ways men cannot heal themselves. Our hormone cycles actually protect our brains from degradation. Etc.

You shouldn't compare the sexes with 1 or the other being the "golden standard" the other needs to meet. It doesn't work that way.

Besides that, malnutrition doesn't affect you in one way in isolation either. If you're so malbourished your body loses the ability to built on muscle mass *as it should* other systems are going to fail too. You wouldn't just see a decline in strength, you'd see a starker decline in non-essential things such as hairloss, skin quality, etc. And damage to essential systems, most notably on such a large time frame, fertility. This did not happen.

Most assinine of all, is the presumption that your modern experience of diet culture is representative of large scale history - possibly to the early history of society but explicitly "5000 odd years". For the fast majority of human history, we were dealing with food scarcity and a constant risk of malnutrition for both sexes. We weren't concerned with slimming down our women. We were concerned with them surviving through childbirth. Beautystandards aren't even universal geographically, and you think they are universal throughout all history? In the 1500 the plague was still a real risk. Most people were subsistance farmers. And the elite liked their women pale and plump cause it showed they were of the wealthy leisure class. At absolute best, slimming down became a concern in the early modern times, 1800 at the earliest. And the ideal figure was created more by illusion of clothing sillouete than by physical reality. And only a small subsection of society would go to extremes (tighlacing was not normal, for example).

Even if you want to claim that the resulting dieting culture would be real enough that women have been dieting obsessively for 2000 years, that's nothing on an evolutionary scale and would not change the female sex of the species fundamentally.

Instead of rewriting history and biology, come to terms with the fact that you are what you are, quit comparing yourself to what you are not, and face any internalised anxiety and hatred (in either direction) you may have regarding that fact. And most notably, put down the phone and go outside.

how much of the strength divide between males n female is truly biological and how much is the result of epigenetic trauma from the worldwide comparative starvation of female children for thousands of years?

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

[six-legged-sea-leopard]

no i am not over how one of the first things kris does of their own accord without our input is to lay down their life for this weird ipad kid they met five hours ago no i am not over "hell yeah i am here to humiliate you fucker" no i am not over "did you miss me? because i missed you!" no i am not over how much not only susie but also kris (and ralsei) genuinely care about their new adopted little cousin guy and the fact that he went from having no friends at all to 3 ride or die bffs who were willing to do what every adult in his life failed to do which is stand up for him i-

[qqueenofhades]

Imagine the contempt of some of these CLEARLY sheltered "leftists" have for: poor families, single mothers, children, immigrants, dreamers, refugees, women in general at this point, people with elderly dependents, long term care, etc!! All they do is complain abt biden not personally visiting their house and giving them 1mil in cash........do they not remember the literal cages full of children?? When trump betrayed our kurdish allies??? When he killed soleimani and almost started wwiii? When he put hundreds of thousands of haitians in immediate jeopardy by revoking their status? INSTALLING A SUPREME COURT that will happily gut any remaining shreds of civil rights and protections??? I feel like i should only have to remind ppl abt the cages of children separated from their parents, sleeping under TARPS for gods sake, while the trump admin's attorneys argued that they didnt need basic hygiene items like toothbrushes. WHERE WERE ALL OF YOU FUCKS THEN?!?!? WHERE WERE YOU?!? My org spent 2 years bringing families back together. How dare these ppl forget what trump did and will do again if he has the chance, just because biden is *checks notes* too old to play on tv

[a-dinosaur-a-day]

When it comes to the various institutions, fields, and systems we have today, which have all been affected and influenced by our white suprematist and patriarchal society, it is important to look at the purpose of said system(etc) in evaluating whether it is preservable or worth preserving; and then working to undo the effects of white supremacy et al in that system

For example, policing is crap, because the purpose is the state controlling its citizens in order to generate free labour or money, as well as high control. There is nothing worth preserving in that initial idea. The various things people think police are for - keeping individuals safe, or procuring justice - are not the inherent purpose, and can be found elsewhere

But for a flipped example of something that has been used just as much in service of white supremacy and patriarchy etc: the medical system, which has a very different inherent purpose: maintaining the health of the populace. It often doesn’t achieve this goal because of the oppressive structures that influence it (especially capitalism), but that IS the main goal. And thus something that has that goal will need to exist in society regardless, and so unlike policing (which we should just throw out entirely), it should be repaired and restructured to remove those oppressive influences

Ecology, aka the study of the environment and the way organisms interact with each other in ecosystems (to put it in an oversimplified manner), is not only something that is not inherently bad, but is something every culture and people have practiced. While it has been set back by oppressive influences, in many ways it has also struggled through them, because those systems are inherently against a nuanced understanding of nature (because bigotry is a denial of the realities of nature, such as the inherent sameness of all human beings). Much of ecological work and research is NECESSARY for the removal of white supremacy et al.

So rather than throw it all out, we have to fix the racist influences, repair the harm that has been caused, elevate non-white cultures and methods of understanding to the same level as western ecology, and work together to better understand our world.

But that takes work, and people like those who want to throw out ecology for (checks notes) being influenced by the sweepingly powerful systems of oppression imposed by our governments (like literally everything has been, including the leftist theory they’re misunderstanding) don’t want to do work. They want to feel morally superior from behind their phone or computer screen.

Hence arguing with them is pointless. Frankly, most internet arguments are pointless (they persuade no one and just make people mad, further dividing communities). It’s better to buckle down and do the work of decolonizing ecology - and all science - instead.

(I guess my point here is that OP is correct and we all need to get out of our own butts about feeling superior on the internet and instead actually work to repair our world)

Sincerely a very tired paleoecologist

i got into ecology because i want to make the world better and now it seems like the left can’t decide if they love or hate this entire field of science. so that’s neat.

[jubshead]

Pissed off bc the Salem Seven were only created so Lilia would die

[musical-chick-13]

This is the only thing I'm going to say about the election until it's over:

Anyone who did not vote for Harris or who attempted to dissuade people from voting for Harris, you are indirectly responsible for whatever shit Donald Trump does if he gets elected. That blood is primarily on his hands, yes. But it is also on yours. I hope you can live with that because I sure as hell wouldn't be able to.

[dykedvonte]

I think it’s so ironic that the Pony Express escapes a lot if not all blame in discussion. I can’t even say I am excused from it but it’s just how hard people circle back to the characters alone without considering the environment they were made to be in.

Why would they design a ship where only two of the rooms lock? Not the bathroom? Not the sleeping quarters? We assume that all the companies in the universe are this shallow and careless to their workers but we explicitly know the Pony Express in extra vile. They are fed processed slop pack they can’t even really cook and the ration of those pack is meager at best. They hired and made people with a plethora of conflicting demeanors and beliefs work together on a mission where cohesion is important if not an outright necessity and punish them for not being happy about it. There’s no social protocols, not chain of command other than Captain’s word/choice and the only way to enforce that is with a literal firearm. They don’t allow them to celebrate freely and even took away leisure activities that would make them less stir crazy. They are only allowed a few hours of sleep despite their being no other real responsibilities or work on the ship, no matter the position or its importance. With any crew, with any level of synergy, this was a powder keg waiting for a spark.

I’m not saying characters that made mistakes didn’t make huge ones, but I think part of the horror is that at least for some (this is targeting Jimathan) those mistakes are partly made by a force of the hand. There’s a running theme of lack of choice and being forced into something and the very nature of how The Pony Express expected them to function plays a big part.

[lost-oasis]

No, because this is so true. Legit, just, the next person I ever let into my heart like that should be setting a goal to reach my soul and speak to it; not needing me to guide them through the goddamn maze I have made from errors and trials, and simply just wanting to close myself off because I have been nothing but hurt every single time.

Do I look back and think 'have I ever given them a real reason to treat me like I was something so easily replaceable?' Yes, and then I'm reminded of how much time, effort, affection, and everything I sought to do just to make them the happiest person alive because their happiness sang to mine.

It's okay to want to learn how to love and care about someone; how to love someone, how the person you want should be loved, but if you have to literally put out a list of some of the most bare minimum and things your lover should do naturally because, well, they fucking adore you, then that's not them becoming your dream person, that's them gaining knowledge of what you want and it's either they will use it to their advantage and sneak into your heart with falsified versions of themselves to grab at your vulnerability for their pleasure, or... they truly take it to heart and see they want to become that kind of person for themselves before they present it to you.

"If they wanted to, they would."

The hardest pill for me to swallow this year, and what took me what felt like forever to truly understand is that saying alone can have both positive and negative connotations.

They want to take care of you? They will.

They want to hurt you? They will.

There is no in between, nor is there any excuse. They either want to love you, or they don't. I think that's why 'love' in general is such a goddamn risk to take...

Another dating tip that so many women lose sight of is this:

Stop giving the men you're dating an instruction manual on how to woo you! This sounds self explanatory, but many miss the point.

While at first glance it may seem like a good idea to give the seemingly good guy in front of you a clear idea on what you're looking for ("I want a provider man who buys me flowers and takes me on nice dates")... it's actually just giving him a roadmap on how to make you fall for him. He might just want to play you. He might actually really like you so he wants to get on your good side...regardless on whether he actually DOES do those things normally.

See the problem?

So, don't blurt out your "dream man" checklist. Take it a step at a time, go on a few dates, organically get to know him better, and analyze on your own (without spilling the beans to him on everything going on in your head, because it's none of his business) whether this man is the kind of partner you're looking for.

And if the answer is no, remove yourself from the equation. You don't need to justify or offer explanations in all the ways they don't meet your requirements (other than "Sorry, I'm looking for something else. Thank you for your time.")

I've made this mistake early on, and the only thing it lead to is heartbreak - because I had been honest and upfront about what I wanted (something I viewed as a positive thing at the time). But guess what? He liked me so much that he convinced himself (or tried really, really hard) to be that kind of man for me for a long while until he realized it wasn't him, and it's not what he wanted in a relationship. But by that time, there were already deep feelings involved and the whole ordeal was just painful to end because we weren't looking for the same thing.

[wilsonsmcgillsweatshirt]

🗣 HOUSES PROBLEM IS NOT THAT HE LACKS EMPATHY, IT'S THAT HE HAS TO MUCH OF IT