#but the truth is. I am not going to write about MCR again

[rpf-bat]

I have this irrational rule in my head that for every Finnish Blorbos post I reblog, I have to reblog an equivalent number of MCR posts, or everyone will hate me and unfollow me.

[oldiesstationlover11607]

BROO I saw you want to write MCR fics can you please do anything involving the Danger Days characters x reader?? I'd be so happy if you did<3

Girl - Party Poison x Reader

Warnings: bit of angst lol

Word Count: 1853

A/N: Hello! I wrote this last year and thought I'd revive it so hopefully this is decent :) Enjoy! Hopefully you'll request something else :)

“What time did Dr. D’s broadcast start again?” Fun Ghoul shouted from outside the diner. He had been out there for nearly an hour, working on the Trans-AM—our car.

“7:30,” I called back. “Party’s out with Jet getting the bonfire set up. The Girl’s taking a nap, but she’s bringing the radio.” Kobra and I had been sitting inside the diner at one of our favorite tables, sketching in the notebook we bought last week from Tommy Chow Mein.

“You know, the Girl thinks you don’t like her,” Kobra mentioned as he sketched a draculoid. “She told me last night during our late-night chat. I think you should tell her the truth.” He knew I wouldn’t, though.

“Did she really say that?” I looked up from my drawing, feeling upset and disappointed. Kobra nodded. “You know I like her. It’s just… weird. I don’t know how to act around her, K. What did you tell her?”

“I told her you do like her, but you show it differently than the rest of us,” Kobra replied with a knowing smile.

“Good. I do like her. Probably more than all you killjoys,” I muttered, looking back down at my drawing.

“Ugh, this damn car won’t hold paint for longer than three days in this radiation!” Ghoul yelled, kicking the ground in frustration.

“Just wait for Jet to get back, Ghoul,” Kobra shouted back. “They’re gonna be here any minute.” Jet always knew what to do with the Trans-AM. It was his car, after all.

“Who’s gonna be back any minute?” a voice rang from the garage. Party Poison, with his fiery red hair, ran into the diner, grinning. Jet Star followed close behind, walking into the back room where the Girl slept.

“Party!” I smiled, jumping up and running into his arms. He hugged me tightly, pressing his lips to my forehead.

“Hey, baby. Did Kobra take good care of you?” Party asked, glancing over at his brother.

“He sure did. We just did some drawing, nothing too wild,” Kobra laughed.

“Guys, the sun’s about to set. Can we get going?” Ghoul called from outside again.

“Yeah, we’re coming. I’ll grab the Girl,” Kobra said, heading into the back room.

“See any dracs?” I asked Party as we walked toward the car.

“Not really. A few in the distance, but we’ll be fine tonight. We always take shifts,” he said, full of energy, as usual. That was why he led us—he kept us together and safe with that boundless drive.

“There she is!” Ghoul grinned as Kobra, Jet, and the Girl got into the car. “How you doing?” Kobra and the Girl climbed into the back with Party and me, while Ghoul and Jet took the front. The car was built for four, but if I sat on Party’s lap, Kobra could squeeze the Girl in next to him, allowing us all to fit. 

“I’m sleepy, but I’m ready to party tonight!” she beamed up at Kobra.

Those two had always been close. The Girl’s mom was my sister. Not that she knew that. Her mom left as soon as the Girl was born, post-Analog Wars, never telling us who the father was. Both of us had been captured by BLI and stuck in Battery City. We escaped and reached the desert just a week after she found out she was pregnant. No one had ever asked about the father. None of us wanted to know the horrors Better Living put her through. After we arrived, Kobra looked after the Girl while Party and I grew close. The others liked her, loved spending time with her, but I struggled. She was too much like her mom. I couldn’t stand watching my niece act and look just like her mother—it killed me. That’s why Party was always by my side. He knew how I felt.

“That’s great ‘cause we’re definitely ready too,” Jet smiled as we arrived at our spot. The sun finally set, leaving the desert peaceful and dark. The bonfire crackled as we got out of the car, Kobra holding the Girl’s hand. She smiled, looking happy, clutching the small boombox she’d decorated the night before.

“Wait!” Party whispered, quickly pulling out his blaster. I followed his gaze over the sand dune. Korse.

“Fuck,” I muttered, pulling out my neon purple blaster.

“This is gonna suck the life out of me. There are dracs everywhere,” Jet said, scanning the area. Blaster rays lit up the air, striking the sand and the Trans-AM. Ghoul and Jet opened fire, taking out as many dracs as they could.

“Keep the Girl safe, Kobra!” I shouted as I ran. Korse went after me first—he knew exactly who I was. Jet got knocked out by a drac with a bottle, but Fun Ghoul kept firing, then ran to check on him. Party charged toward Korse, aiming his blaster, but had to retreat when he got shot at. Two dracs grabbed my arms, holding me back as Korse stood there, smug.

“Your little girl is coming with us, Y/N,” Korse sneered, using my real name—one I hadn’t heard since I left the city. “I don’t want to hurt you, but we don’t have much of a choice.”

“You’re not taking her!” I struggled against the dracs. “We won’t let you!”

“We?” Korse smirked. “You and your little band of Killjoys? Look around—they’re all down. You’re lucky we haven’t killed anyone yet.” The dracs dragged the Girl over, and she kicked and screamed.

A yellow ray cut through the air, dropping the dracs holding me. Party. He was alive.

“Party Poison! Get the Girl to the car!” Korse shouted as the surviving draculoids swarmed her. Party dodged Korse’s shots, inching closer. I managed to break free, fumbling to pull out my blaster. But Korse was faster, firing at me and missing deliberately. I dashed toward the others, watching as Party and Korse exchanged fire, each dodging the other’s shots. Finally, Korse knocked Party’s mask into the sand, then made his escape, driving off in the Trans-AM.

“Party? Are you okay?” I asked, crawling over to him. He lay motionless, not making a sound. “Party!” I screamed. For a second, I thought he was dead. I felt like I might throw up.

“Vinyl, I’m okay,” he groaned, reaching out to hold my hand.

“You saved me back there… You didn’t have to. You could’ve been killed—”

“I’ll always choose you. You should know that by now,” he chuckled weakly, coughing as he sat up.

“Jet, Ghoul, you guys okay?” I called, helping Party to his feet.

“I’m alive, if that’s what you’re asking,” Ghoul groaned, rubbing his back. His vest had a fresh smoking hole where he’d been hit.

“Me too,” Jet called, grabbing his blaster. I looked over at the Trans-AM, where Kobra lay unconscious. Party rushed over to his brother, helping him sit up as Jet fetched some water. Once we were sure Kobra was okay, the weight of what had just happened hit me. I felt sick.

One minute I was standing in the desert, and the next, everything went black. The last thing I saw was Party running toward me before I collapsed into someone’s arms.

Bright lights. The diner. Party lying next to me. Kobra sitting above us. The Girl. Gone. I sat up as fast as I could, obviously scaring the hell out of Party, who fell off the mattress.

“The Girl! Kobra, where is she?” I shouted, looking around, tears burning in my eyes. “Where is she!?” I screamed. A pair of arms wrapped around me, holding me back. Jet and Fun ran into the room, worried looks on their faces.

“Shit, is she okay?” Fun asked, sitting next to Kobra, who shook his head.

“Where is she? I’m going to kill you, Kobra,” I yelled, tears streaming down my face. He just sat there, expressionless.

“Hush, calm down, Vinyl. Breathe,” I heard Party say softly. I looked up and found him, kissing my temple.

“I won’t be calm, Party! She’s gone. My—my niece. She thinks I hate her. She’s my only family, and she doesn’t even know it. She’s like my daughter,” I wept.

“Don’t you think she’s like my daughter too, Vinyl? I spend all my time with the Girl, trying to convince her that you don’t hate her,” Kobra muttered. He had no right to say that to me. My sister might’ve loved him, and I might love his brother, but he was supposed to protect her. He was in charge of her.

“I’m going to get her,” I tried to wriggle out of Party’s arms, but he held me tighter. “Let me go, P. I’m calm,” I said, looking at him.

“You’re not going to get her. We’re going to make a plan. Together. In a few days, we’ll find her and bring her back. In the meantime, we’ll take shifts to look after you. I’m not letting you stay up alone, and I know you’re not going to sleep—not after this,” Party said as he gently let me go, helping me sit down on our shared mattress.

“We’ll find her, Vinyl. I promise,” Kobra said, sitting down next to me. “It’s going to be okay. And if we don’t find her, then we’ll end up dusted trying.” He wiped the tears from my face before getting up and heading into the diner with Jet and Fun to start planning.

Party lay down next to me, facing me. I stayed quiet, lost in my thoughts. She thinks I hate her. She doesn’t even know we’re family. She’s probably so scared. They’re probably experimenting on her right now.

“Vinyl, breathe. She’s going to be okay. We raised her right. She knows how to look after herself,” he said, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“She thinks I hate her, Party. I can’t live knowing that she thinks I hate her,” I murmured, pressing my face into his chest. He pulled me closer.

“She knows you love her, V. I know she does. We were just talking a few days ago about you. She was asking about us, about you. Asked what you were like before she arrived. Asked if you and I were in love with each other. She notices everything between us, everything about you. Kobra and I sat her down, and we had a big conversation about you. Told her that you did like her but that she reminded you of someone you lost. The Girl understood, V. She understood. And I know she still does. She knows we’re going to come for her,” he said, cupping my face and making me look into his eyes.

“God, how is it that you always know exactly what to say to me, Party Poison? It’s like you’re made for me,” I smiled.

“Because we are made for each other,” he said, pressing his lips to my forehead and wrapping his arms around me affectionately. “We’re going to find her, V, I promise. And when we do, we’re going to tell her the truth about who she is.”

//

REQUESTS OPEN

[halfax-a]

Lin and tumblr

The past year has changed how i use this website quite a lot, and i have feelings about it.  Here, i’m writing a mini essay to help me make my mind up what to do about it all.

The first big painful truth i have to face is: i don’t like my dashboard anymore. I find it increasingly hard to sit and just scroll through and pay attention. I know that a few years ago it used to be better balanced - divided into fandom content, meme content and music content. 

This year, more than ever, saw the absolutely bonkers avalanche of fandom content, which cannibalised both music and meme side of things. I experienced genuine mass hysteria with the flood of people, and i don’t regret that or hate that, but all of it ended up feeling more like witnessing a group of friends having an absolutely insane party - through the front window of their hourse, having your nose pressed to the glass. 

Why it felt so much like that, can be anointed to how i chose to interact with tumblr - 2022 was the year i fully turned to blog-crawling. It ended up impacting me a lot - in ways you can see (7 fandom posts in a row reblogged from one blog), and in ways you can’t (all those hours reading and internalising and the r word). Waking up every day, obsessively searching up 5 to 12 different blogs and spending up to 3 hours just reading updates (combined with my brief stint on twitter in the summer) fucked me up quite well, i think. 

Well. Actually. This is not new behaviour for me. Obsessive checking of tumblr blogs, forum threads and twitter accounts dates back well into 2016. But this is the first time it has fucked with my enjoyment of this site, and i am at a loss what to do.

I feel trapped. My brain does not think it can go without tumblr, because twitter, instagram, even the mighty youtube have surrendered to this blue hellsite, and let it reign the supreme doom scroll hole of my life. 

At the same time, i recognise that i am not really truly having a good time on here(or at least as much as i used to). The more time i spend on specific blogs, the less i am on my dash, which means the less opportunities i have to make connections with my remaining mutuals, and to make new ones.

I feel trapped and i feel isolated. A few years ago i used to know at least 5 blogs that were guaranteed to appear in my notes at any given time. There were more tag games, more casual @/ing and more interaction. Nowadays i feel quite alone. Yes, i did bring this onto myself with 1. aforementioned blog crawling and 2. jumping into excessive fandom posting. I’m just afraid that getting out of there is not as easy as it used to be. 

I’ve seen a lot of people move on, or drift out of my circles over the years, which makes reconnecting with old acquintances/old topics of interest difficult or downright impossible. And as i get on in age (in my old age of 22), i get increasingly nervous seeing 16,15, 14-year-old on here, and interacting with their blogs.

I am also a bit at a loss for how to curate my dash to regain that optimal meme/fandom/music equilibrium. Meme culture has changed a dizzying amount since 2018, and i know i have been left behind. With music and fandom cannibalising and engulfing each other (in that shiver-inducing mass of conciousness known as “mcr fandom”), i am left to try and find some “general” content. But from where??????

All of these things combined has made me feel like i might have to ditch tumblr soon. Either i put in massive amounts of energy, overhaul my dash and find out what i enjoy (while being concious of how to keep the parts of fandom that are truly enriching for me, when the mass hysteria inevitably starts again), or i log off, block, and try to keep my doomscrolling urges fed on fanfiction and youtube shorts.

With my unfortunate mental state, i sure know which seems easier

Now. Why am i still here at this very moment then?

It’s because of drafts! 

See, in my mind, it is possible to Finish Tumblr. During my years here, i have amassed a significant amount of drafts - gifsets, link masterlists, audio, video and photos, and each of them serves a purpose - to remind me to Consume that thing. The day i listen to the final album, final song, the day i watch the final tv show, movie, the day i let that final draft go; that’s when i can say i have Completed Tumblr, and can log off with a light heart. 

So, i haven’t acknowledged it, but i actually have a concrete goal in mind here, and as long as i work on that, i’ll be shackled to this blue hellsite

[house-of-chemical-wolves]

📚 💖 🔎 🧑‍🎨

📚 A song or album you could write a term paper on:

Oh Friend Fili, there are SO MANY. The first album that comes to mind is The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance, because it's amazing and the storytelling is brilliant and everything about it makes me want to scream.

Also, during undergrad, I actually had a section of a literature paper dedicated to "Wretches and Kings" by Linkin Park, off of A Thousand Suns; the paper was on transcendentalism and the rhetoric of progressive social movements. I got an A.

💖 A guilty pleasure song:

I'm never really sure how to answer this one, to tell you the truth? Like, what counts as a guilty pleasure song? Is it a song that I think I shouldn't like? Is it a song that I think is Not Good, but that I enjoy anyway? What does it mean????

Having said that, I'm gonna nominate "Misery Business" by Paramore. Is it more than a little tasteless? Yes. Am I gonna jam if I hear it playing somewhere? Also yes.

🔎 A song you can't stop analyzing:

"The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace" by The Amazing Devil. Can't stop, won't stop. Go and listen to it, and you'll understand why.

🧑‍🎨 A musical artist where you drop everything to hear their latest work:

When I heard that MCR had released a new song, I very literally dropped everything to listen to "The Foundations of Decay". Like, I had gone so long thinking that I was never gonna hear a new song from My Chemical Romance ever again, and then I did. And I'm gonna do the same when they release more music. Because that's my favorite band, and I think they're all happier than ever.

(Also, The Amazing Devil and the Crane Wives. When they release anything new, I'm gonna be right there screaming about it.)

[girlgerard]

hi! what are your thoughts on this post/thread? just genuinely curious!

well first of all i think it’s a little weird that whenever something about racial dynamics gets brought up, i and the few other active poc mcr blogs all get asks about it. i don’t think you meant anything bad by it, but it feels quite tokenizing. second, yeah i think they’re right, somewhat. don’t think i’m going to simply say boohoo they’re wrong, gerard is my blorbo. gerard is chronically white and goyische, in a way that’s extremely cloying if you look at their writing and general interests. they themselves have actually commented on this, expressing that they regret almost exclusively writing white characters in their comics cause it was, in all honesty, a stupid fucking decision. yes, gerard is incapable of writing characters that are not self-inserts, and they are in fact a white person, but they’ve consistently demonstrated ignorance in racial diversity, something that’s juxtaposed harshly against their welcoming inclusive nature of queer and trans characters. so yeah, i think the basic points that post made made have a lot of truth in them.

i do, however, disagree with the general conclusion and motivation behind the post. it starts off with a statement that people should acknowledge that everyones ‘faves’ are problematic, which is true. ‘your faves are problematic’ is a clumsy twitter way of saying that no one is infallible and everyone has biases blind spots and fuck ups, and understanding that is important for growth and progression. the way the post is written, however, does not follow that model. the post is essentially singling out gerard as irredeemable and A Racist, which i disagree with. gerard writes like every other white person raised in a conservative white town with zero bias training. they are not a rare breed in terms of racial ignorance

i understand op’s anger - absolutely i do. being a brown person in this fan space is fucking garbage, to be quite honest, and the band has never made that any easier. it’s good to point out gerard’s inadequacies in their writing and the harmful stereotypes they weave into their narratives, because they should learn and grow from those criticisms. it’s irritating and disappointing that its taken them fifteen years to even start learning about racial dynamics in storytelling. it’s also good to tamp down on the hero worship. i love gerard, obviously, more than i’ve loved any figure i’ve never met. i am also incredibly aware of their white goyischeness. even their stupidass white wicca phase makes me uncomfortable, as well as the fact that they’re into surface-level conspiracy and goddamned morrissey. though i love their comics, the distinct lack of brown folk has always pissed me the fuck off. it’s glaring and transparently ignorant. however, calling them a straight up bad person for not understanding how to peer outside their own racial bubble is unproductive. once again - read any white comic writer’s material. they’re all like this. that doesn’t mean it sucks any less, believe me it hurts, but it does mean that gerard is not unique in this. it’s not an Isolated Gerard Issue - it’s an issue with their whiteness and their general ignorance at how that affects their artwork.

basically, i agree with many of the points op made, i disagree with their tone and conclusion, i empathize with what they’re feeling as a brown person and a jew in a white culturally christian fandom, and attempting to discredit all of gerard’s art because of their chronic and irritating whiteness is unproductive and inflammatory. acknowledge and criticize their faults; they have many, believe me. however, criticizing is different than crucifying.

white people do not add your own thoughts to this post. god knows you’ve said enough. and please please think before you ask random brown people on the internet what their thoughts are on a controversy simply because it’s about a Brown Topic. it’s quite exhausting. we are not here simply to answer questions this white fandom panics in the face of. i answered this ask because i got no less than five asks about this topic, and i thought it was important enough to respond to, but please think before you tokenize

also please don’t tag op or smth lol i’m not arguing with them i’m just saying i think their conclusion is unproductive while also agreeing with their calling out of important shortcomings people in this fandom ignore.

[robinrunsfiction]

Just wondering if you’d be up to writing a Frank Iero x reader fic where they are an absolutely chaotic couple? and just them doing crazy or weird shit and the rest of the bands reaction to it - maybe revenge era? maybe a lil smut in it at some point if you’re feeling that (no pressure lmao)

Chaos Loves Company

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader Rating: Mature (smut) Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~1,450 Author’s Note: I hope this is chaotic enough for you Anon! Also I’m dedicating this one to my friend @maria-the-ghoul who ran a half marathon yesterday and I’m very proud of her!

"What was it like joining the band after Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge was completed?" The reporter asked you.

"At first it was a little awkward, but the guys really made me feel like I was one of the crew," you answered.

The reporter nodded. "And is there any truth to the rumors that you're dating guitarist Frank Iero?"

You couldn’t help the smile that broke across your face. You glanced around, trying to spot him in the crowd of the fancy record label party that was being thrown in your band’s honor. Reporters from publications were mingling with your bandmates, getting any kind of scoop they could. "Umm, yea, we have been for a while now," you replied tucking your hair behind your ear.

"What's it like being on the road with someone you're dating?"

"It's great! Being able to have someone you care about around all the time is ama-"

You couldn't finish your sentence because Frank had run up to you, throwing you over his shoulder and jumped into the pool that was the centerpiece of the hotel lounge that was hosting  your event.

You swam to the surface the same time Frank did, eyeliner running down both your faces.

"Frank! What the hell?!" You laughed as you splashed him.

"You looked so hot, I thought you might wanna cool off," he smirked and you laughed even harder.

"What the fuck are you two doing?" Brian shouted from the edge of the pool.

You shrugged before you swam to the side of the pool and climbed out, Frank behind you.

You took the towel offered to you from a waiter and started to towel off your hair.

"We can't take you two anywhere," Ray muttered as Brian marched both of you out of the party and back to your hotel room to change. You stuck your tongue out at him in response.

"I didn't wanna be at that party anymore anyway," Frank whispered to you.

"Thank you! I was so bored!" You replied.

When you arrived at the hotel room you were sharing, you told Brian you'd be right back but given the way he rolled his eyes, he knew that he'd seen the last of you for the night.

~

When Mikey recruited you to join the band after Otter was kicked out, you hadn't even considered that you might fall for one of your bandmates. But then you met Frank.

You kept your crush to yourself, not looking to get fired immediately after getting hired, but about a week into your first tour Gerard asked to speak with you privately in the back of the bus.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," he started after closing the sliding door behind you. "But is there any chance you like Frank?"

You felt your cheeks burning up. "W-why?"

"Because I think he's trying to get your attention and I'm tired of mic stands getting thrown at me," he laughed.

"You mean that's not how he usually performs?"

"He's chaotic, but it's been worse since you got here."

You nodded, a smile creeping across his face. "Oh, ok, this is good to know. Thanks Gee."

He nodded and you decided that the best course of action would be to jump right in. Frank had been napping in his bunk so you drew back the curtain and climbed in.

“Wha- (YN)? What are you doing?” He asked rolling over to face you.

“Do you have a crush on me?” You giggled.

“Why?” He asked slowly.

“Someone might have mentioned you have been,” you paused picking your words, “acting out to get my attention.”

“Gerard,” Frank groaned and buried his face into the pillow and you giggled again.

“Soo?”

Frank looked up, eyebrows raised. “You… are you saying?”

“That I’d like to go out with you? Yea, I am.”

A smile spread across Frank’s face as he placed his hand on yours. You glanced down at his lips, then back up at his eyes, hoping he’d take the hint. Luckily he did and you were both leaning in, lips meeting. You’d kissed plenty of other people, but this was something different, you could tell and you were pretty sure Frank felt the same way based on the look on his face when you pulled back.

~

At first you didn’t know how you should approach the topic of you and Frank being together with your bandmates, so you just didn’t bring it up. Instead you spent your time ducking around with Frank, sneaking into each other's bunks when the rest of the band was asleep, but not trying not to get caught.

A couple weeks later you were sitting on the bus watching a movie with the guys as you rolled on to another town when Frank sat down next to you. You shot him a quick smile and he put his arm over your shoulder. You decided to settle in against him and you sat comfortably like that for a few minutes. Then you felt him brushing back your hair, but you didn’t think anything of it, until he started kissing your neck. You jumped slightly, glancing around at your friends, but none of them seemed to notice, in fact Mikey was asleep. 

You glanced back at him and he pulled you in for a kiss. You shifted around so your legs were over his, and were fully making out.

“Oh shit,” you heard Ray exclaim and you pulled back from Frank.

“What?” You asked innocently, when you saw Gerard and Ray staring at you two. Mikey even seemed to be coming to after hearing Ray’s shout.

“I was wondering why I hadn’t had to dodge Frank’s guitar in a while,” Mikey mumbled.

“I was wondering what that sound was the other night,” Ray said, a slightly horrified look on his face.

“Oh grow up,” Frank said before grabbing your face to kiss you again.

~

It felt like you’d been on a constant cycle of touring, going home for a short time, and then packing up and going back out on tour. But you preferred to be on the road, as that meant more time for you and Frank.

It was a few days after your incident at the pool when you arrived backstage for another award show. MCR was scheduled to open the show, so you didn’t have to do the lame red carpet press. After finishing soundcheck, you all headed back to the dressing room to get ready and wait. Then something caught your eye.

"Psst," you said loudly enough to catch the attention of both Frank and Mikey. "Sorry, Mikes, just Frank."

Mikey rolled his eyes and continued on as Frank made his way over to you, a smirk already playing at his lips as if he could read your mind. "What's up princess?" Oh yes, he knew what you were thinking.

You took his hand, glancing around pulled him into the janitors closet that had been left ajar.

"I don’t wanna wait until we get back to the hotel tonight," you said before leaning in and kissing Frank hard.

He responded immediately, backing you against the metal shelves behind you and grinding his hips against yours. "God I love when you wear skirts," he murmured as he kissed and bit along your neck, his hand running up your thigh. "Make it so easy for me."

"That's why I do it," you smirked, even though he couldn't see it in the dark.

"We better make it fast, they're gonna look for us," he groaned as he started for his belt.

"Not if they know what's good for 'em," you laughed as you pulled down your underwear and stepped out of it. 

Frank shoved down his jeans and lifted one of your legs over his hip as he lined up and pushed into you. "God you always feel so good," he moaned against your neck as you clutched at his shoulder with one hand, the other grasping at the shelves behind you.

"Ugh god Frankie," you moaned as he reached between you, rubbing your clit. "Don't stop."

"Yea, say my name,” he grunted. You repeated his name over and over like a mantra, as he thrust deep inside you.

"Frankie, so good," you moaned as you came around him. Moments later he came as well.

“God I fuckin love you, (YN),” he breathed as you both caught your breath.

“Love you too Frank,” you replied.

You had just straightened out your clothes when a banging on the door made you both jump.

“You guys done in there?” Gerard shouted, unnecessarily loudly.

Frank swung the door open. “If you wanna join in next time, just ask,” he grinned cheekily as you both walked out hand in hand.

[rosequartzstarswrites]

20 Questions for Writers

Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

27

What's your total AO3 word count?

351,699

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.

Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.

Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.

Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.

Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.

Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes. 

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M. 

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter. 

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!

What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all. 

Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)

[anxiously-unsatisfied-world]

A Coffee For Here (So I Don’t Have to Leave Yet)

Pairing: Sleepxiety w/ background Roloceit Word Count: 6,292 Warnings: Vague mentions of pain (not too descriptive), lemme know if there's anything else. 

A/N: So if anyone remembers the Sleepxiety coffee shop/tattoo shop au I was working on, this is it! I’m really happy with how this came out (I’m not used to writing fics over 2k long ^^) I hope you all enjoy :D 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy sighs softly as he steps into the café, shutting his eyes for a moment as the comforting scent of coffee washing over him. When he opens his eyes, he gives the place a once-over, liking the warm and cozy layout of the place. This café is shaping up to be one that he frequents regularly, but first, he must check the most important part. Sure, the atmosphere may be great, but if the coffee sucks? There's not much of a chance he'll be returning to this one.

He strolls up to the counter, barely glancing at the menu. There's no point when he already knows what he wants. "Hey, babes. Could I get a cappuccino with hazelnut and two extra shots of espresso?" The words are already out of his mouth before his eyes settle on the person in front of him. His eyes widen behind his sunglasses, a smirk spreading across his face.

Okay, so the barista is cute. That's a bonus. Remy eyes the way their black hair falls in front of their eyes, similar but not quite the 'emo fringe.' Their eyes look up from the notepad they'd been doodling on and Remy's heart stutters at how pretty their silver eyes are. He glances at their nametag, which is accompanied by a small purple pin reading they/them,  and smirks. Virgil. It's a nice-sounding name, definitely suiting the emo aesthetic.

"Yeah, that'll be $4.50. For here or to go?" Virgil says, sighing internally that they managed to say that right without stuttering. Social anxiety's a struggle especially when the customer is unexpectedly cute. And 'babes?' That kind of nickname nearly made Virgil swoon on the spot, only stopped because doing so would be too embarrassing and way too much like something Roman would do.

"For here." Remy finds himself saying. He had been planning on taking his coffee and going home now that his shift is over but maybe he'll stick around for a little bit if he can. Not that there's any particular reason behind his decision. Of course not.

Virgil takes Remy's money and counts out the change before looking back up. "Okay. Take one of these." Virgil hands him a buzzer, "It'll go off when your order is ready."

Remy nods, used to this whole exchange, going to find a seat while Virgil busies themselves with making Remy's coffee. Remy pulls out his phone and makes a show of scrolling through it, though he keeps glancing up to look at the pretty barista.

It isn't long before the buzzer vibrates and Remy stands, sliding his phone back in his pocket as he approaches the counter. He sets the buzzer down, picking up the mug and strolling back to the booth he had chosen but not before saying, "Thank you, babes."

Virgil's face flushes slightly at the nickname and Remy smirks when he catches it, bringing the mug to his lips. He lets out a soft sigh at the flavor and leans back in his seat. The coffee's delicious and the barista is cute? Yup, Remy's definitely coming back here soon.

While drinking his coffee, he alternates between looking at his phone and glancing over at Virgil, watching them wipe down the counter just long enough to get caught. Virgil raises an eyebrow and leans on their elbow, "Y'know, if you're going to keep watching me, maybe you should actually come talk to me."

Remy's eyes widen and he snickers at that, "You have a point, darling." Remy rises from his seat and perches on one of the barstools lining the counter, taking another sip of his coffee. "Uh, you okay there?"

Virgil had frozen, internally panicking at how smooth that was and why did they call Remy over here? Now they actually have to talk to him and oh, shit, he just asked them a question. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Okay…" Remy says, dragging out the word for a moment before shrugging and electing to ignore it. "So, lemme guess, your favorite band is MCR?"

Virgil's eyes widen and they tilt their head just barely, "What? I mean, I like their music, but no?"

Remy chuckles at how confused they sound and smirks at them over the rim of his mug. "No offense, babes, but you look like the epitome of emo right now."

Virgil groans and Remy snickers, taking the last sip of the coffee and setting the mug down, pushing it slightly towards Virgil. Virgil takes the mug and goes over to the sink to wash it, Remy watching as they do.

"So, if your favorite band isn't MCR, then what is it?" Remy asks, leaning forward on both his elbows.

"Uh… Panic at the Disco…" Virgil admits and groans softly when Remy starts laughing. "Okay, fine! I'm still emo. Happy?"

"Sure am, darling," Remy says in between laughs. Virgil just rolls their eyes, but it's hard to be annoyed too much when someone's laughing that genuinely, even if it's at his expense.

The two of them talk for a little while longer before Remy realizes that he's the only customer in the café. "Babes? Am I keeping you from locking up?" Remy asks, feeling bad if he has. He didn't mean to stay so long.

"I mean, kinda?" Virgil shrugs, "But I don't really mind. You're not like the other customers who stay too late, you're actually fun to be around."

"Oh am I?" Remy says, perking up a bit.

Virgil groans at the smug tone to Remy's voice, knowing that they accidentally just inflated Remy's ego. "Don't let it go to your head. You know what I meant."

"Too late~ and yeah, I do," Remy says with a shrug. "Either way, doll, I should probably get going. Don't wanna keep you here too late." Remy stands, smiling a little softer, not quite his usual smirk, when he sees Virgil deflate slightly. "Don't worry, babes. I'll definitely be back. But before I go?"

"Yes?" Virgil cringes a bit at how quickly they responded but Remy just laughs.

"It was nice meeting you, Virgil," Remy says with a grin, blowing a kiss in Virgil's direction and wiggling his fingers a bit before ducking out of the café.

Virgil hides their face in their hands, blushing hard from such a simple gesture. Damn… That certainly wasn't what they expected when they came into work this morning. But if only they'd gotten his name. It never properly came up in the conversation and know they're kicking themselves for not asking. At least, he said he'd come back so they have that to look forward to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, through his various appointments, Remy cannot get Virgil out of his head. It's been a good bit since he's laughed that genuinely. And thus, he finds himself once again at the café after work, hoping that Virgil will be there.

Virgil perks up when they see Remy come through the door, causing Remy to laugh softly. "Did ya miss me that much, hun?" Remy asks and Virgil blushes a bit, smirking at him.

"Wasn't expecting to see you back quite so soon," Virgil says. Remy shrugs and goes through the process of ordering his coffee, staying up at the counter this time.

"You'll be seeing a lot more of me from now on, I can promise that." Remy leans against the counter, watching Virgil prepare the cappuccino, a little distracted by how gracefully Virgil is moving.

"Oh, joy," Virgil says with heavy sarcasm, both of them snickering afterward. Virgil walks over to where Remy's sitting and slides him his coffee. "Oh, by the way, I don't think I got your name yesterday?"

Remy chuckles as he sips his coffee. "The name's Remy. It's a pleasure to meet you." Remy says with a hint of sarcasm, even going so far as to mock-bow, the effect lessened a bit since he's sitting down. Still, it causes Virgil to laugh and so that's a win in his book.

"Charmed, I'm sure," Virgil says, causing Remy to snicker. It's not often that he finds someone who's willing to and able to put up with his sass, especially not one who's able to sass him back like this.

"Of course, I'm the most charming one around," Remy says mock-seriously, grinning as soon as Virgil snorts.

"Sure, you are," Virgil says sarcastically, but there's a hint of truth to their words. Well, Remy may not be charming in the traditional sense, but there's something to him that's managed to charm Virgil. Otherwise, they wouldn't be so comfortable talking to him right now.

They talk once again, getting interrupted by the occasional customer, until it's about time for Virgil to close up. "I'll be seeing you, darling," Remy says, going out a limb to take Virgil's hand and squeeze it softly.

"I'll be holding you to that." Virgil says with a soft laugh, "You make the last bit before closing a lot more bearable."

Remy snickers softly and lets go of Virgil's hand, taking a step back. "Thank you, hun. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Remy." Virgil waves as Remy leaves, unable keep a soft smile off their face while they close up the café.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy starts coming back to the café often, most of the times after his shift as it's a reliable way to tell when Virgil will be there. Sure, there are some days where an appointment of his will go longer than expected and he misses those nights, but he's at the café more nights than he's not.

One day, he leaves the tattoo parlor and heads to the café, growing more excited to see Virgil with each step. He all but throws the door open, knowing that the dramatic gesture would be something Virgil would laugh at, but freezes when he sees the barista.

Instead of Virgil in their usual purple and black attire, there's someone else in yellow and black. Someone who happens to be giving him a sly smirk, their hands steepled in front of them.

"Looking for Virgil?" The barista asks, chuckling when Remy's eyes widen at the question. "Surprised? Well, he's not here. It's his day off, you'll have to deal with me."

Remy strolls up to the counter, already too intrigued by this encounter to consider leaving. "Sure. I'll have a…"

"Hazelnut cappuccino with two shots of espresso?" The barista asks, raising a single eyebrow.

"How did you?" Remy asks, nearly wanting to take a step back from the guy, already unsettled by him but now he knows his order? He glances at the barista's nametag like it would answer his question, the sight of a cartoonish snake doodled by the name confusing him even more. How can someone this cryptic have something so cute on their nametag?

Declan snickers at Remy's expression and waves his hand, "I'll drop the whole 'villain' facade. Virge says I do it too much." Declan shrugs, ringing up Remy's order while he explains, "Virgil told me your order and that you might be in today."

"Uh-huh," Remy says slowly, reeling from Declan dropping the persona like it was all an act. Maybe it was. Remy's no stranger to friends who put on acts like that. After all, Roman does it all the time. "And you know Virgil how?"

"I'm their brother," Declan says simply, starting to make Remy's coffee to go, figuring he's not going to stick around since Virgil's not here. "Honestly, I couldn't wait to meet the customer they talk so highly of." It's clear Declan's teasing him, but Remy can't help but feel touched that Virgil talked about him.

Declan glances at Remy and sees the softer expression, his own softening a bit to match. "It's been nice seeing them so happy, so I guess I have you to thank for that."

Remy shrugs at that, "It's no trouble, really. I enjoy spending time with them." Remy blinks when Declan hands him his coffee, curling his fingers around it absentmindedly.

"Good." Declan says, looking at Remy for a moment in a way that reminds him of a snake eyeing its prey, "Now, I shouldn't have to say this, but if you hurt him? I'll end you." Declan's voice goes quiet and serious, sounding brutally honest.

Remy gives a nervous smile and holds his hands up in a placating gesture. "Don’t worry, if that happened, Virgil would probably end me first." Remy says with a small laugh, "But I won't let that happen. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt them."

Declan watches him for a moment more before his expression softens, clearly finding what he wanted. "Good. And you're right. You'd have both of us to worry about, but I can tell you'll do your best to avoid that." Declan gives a small, approving smile. "Well, I'll see you around, Remy."

"Yeah, see you." Remy says, giving a two-fingered salute and ducking out of the café, slightly rattled by that whole experience.

Declan simply smirks, assured that his sibling will be safe in Remy's hands if it ever gets to that. He's good at reading people and it's clear that Remy will do everything to prevent Virgil from getting hurt. That's always a good sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time Remy goes to the café, he can't help but feel slightly on edge, knowing now that there's a chance that Declan will be there instead of Virgil. Sure, he doubts that Declan would pull the whole foreboding and creepy act a second time, but he can't help the uneasy feeling.

Virgil looks up with bright eyes when Remy opens the door, only for their expression to turn annoyed and a bit downcast when they see how nervous Remy looks, though he's trying his best to hide it.

"Dee did the thing, didn't he? The whole Disney villain act?" Virgil says, tapping their fingers together mimicking the way Declan held his when Remy met him. Remy nods and Virgil huffs, turning to make Remy's coffee to give them something to do with their hands. "Ugh, I told him not to. He likes doing it anytime I make a new friend, says it's a test of sorts to weed out anyone undeserving. His words not mine."

"I can see how." Remy says with a wry smile. "It would be effective for anyone who's easily intimidated."

Virgil snorts, shaking their head lightly, "You don't have to tell me that. Patton wouldn't come by our house for weeks after he first spoke with Dee." Virgil says, sounding both fond and exasperated. "But you're still here, so it clearly didn't work on you."

"Of course, it didn't." Remy says, smiling when Virgil passes him his coffee, wrapping his fingers around it. "I've definitely had weirder encounters."

"Oh, yeah?" Virgil asks, looking curious enough to prompt Remy into storytelling mode. There's no shortage of stories for him to tell, not with his friend group.

After enough of these stories, Virgil laughs softly, "Yeah, I can see now that Dee is hardly the weirdest person you've dealt with."

Remy blinks, awed by the sound of Virgil's laugh. No matter how many times he hears it, it sounds like the prettiest sound in the world to him. "Exactly, babes." Remy smirks when Virgil's face goes red at the nickname, "So you don't have to worry about me, it takes way more than an overprotective brother to scare me off."

Virgil just smiles then, a soft genuine one that takes Remy's breath away. "That's good." Virgil glances around and gives a sheepish smile at the realization they've been listening to Remy's stories all the way until closing time. "I guess it's time for me to lock up."

"All right, sugar. I'll see you later, then." Remy says, once again blowing a kiss in Virgil's direction, laughing in delight when Virgil mimes catching it and holding it close. Remy ducks out of the café with a small wave, unable to keep from smiling on his way home. It really is unfair how cute Virgil is sometimes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remy continues his pattern of regularly going to the café to talk with Virgil until closing time. As the days go by, it's hard to deny how much of a crush he has on Virgil. Even the smallest smile directed at him will make his heart skip a beat and when Virgil laughs? Remy's gone, unable to focus on anything but that sound.

Because of this, he has managed to become even more flirtatious than how he usually acts, greeting Virgil most of the time with some kind of pun or pick-up line and leaving the café with blown kisses, winks, and cheeky grins. For the most part, Virgil responds in kind or just smirks fondly at him.

Honestly? It has Remy absolutely elated.

"Hey, babes. How's my favorite barista doing?" Remy asks as he enters the café one night, grinning when Virgil snorts softly, looking pleased to see him.

"I swear you only like me for the coffee." Virgil says teasingly and Remy plays off of that, gasping over-dramatically and throwing the back of his hand up to his forehead in a way Roman's done several times.

"Oh, my poor heart! How could you say such a thing?" Remy leans against the counter and sighs dramatically. He squeaks when something flicks his shoulder, but the sound of Virgil's laughter halts any complaints he might have.

"Oh, shush. I know you're not just here for the coffee." Virgil says with a grin once they stop laughing. "You're here for my dazzling personality." The words are said with an air of confidence similar to how Roman would say such a line, but also with sarcasm in a way that's uniquely Virgil.

"Obviously, babes," Remy says, leaning forward on his elbows and resting his chin on his hands. "Now, about that coffee?"

Virgil laughs at that, shaking their head with fond exasperation. They turn to make Remy's usual order while Remy fishes the money out of his wallet.

The night continues as it usually would, with them talking and enjoying each other's company during the breaks in between customers. At closing time, Remy gets a burst of confidence to take Virgil's hand again, this time bringing it up to his lips and brushing a soft kiss against their knuckles.

Virgil's eyes widen and their face goes red, but an amused smile spreads across their face. Remy winks at them, chuckling at the darkening of their blush.

"Until next time, babes." Remy says, squeezing their hand once before letting go of it, relishing in the way Virgil's breath hitches at the pet name.

"Remy!" Virgil calls out right as Remy gets to the door, causing him to pause and turn to look at them. Virgil gives a shy grin before blowing a kiss at Remy, who mimes catching it on pure instinct. "See ya later, Rem." Remy nods with a grin before leaving the café, already unable to wait until the next time he sees them again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the course of them getting to know each other, Virgil's slowly realizing that they want to get a tattoo of some kind, even sketching up some rough designs for one should they decide to go for it.

"Virgil, are you alright?" Logan asks, looking at Virgil with concern. "You've been a bit distracted." Roman nods, a similar concerned expression on his face.

"Yeah, I've just been thinking about something." Virgil says, giving an apologetic look that they've been spacey today. "I think I want to get a tattoo." They admit, causing Roman to brighten and Logan to look at them with mild surprise.

"And you're sure about this, Virgil?" Logan asks, looking at them in that way he does when he's trying to analyze someone.

"Yup." Virgil says, popping the p. "I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now and I have a vague idea of what I'd want and where, so I'm pretty sure."

Logan seems to find what he's looking for since he nods and lets Roman take over the conversation. "If you're looking for recommendations on tattoo artists, I could hook you up," Roman says with a grin. He's got several beautifully-made tattoos himself so Virgil has no reason not to trust his judgment in this instance.

"Sure, that'd be great." Virgil says and Roman grins at them.

"Okay, so, most of my tattoos were done by the same person and I think you'd really get on well with him! See this one?" Roman raises the sleeve of his shirt up to show a rendition of the rose from Beauty and the Beast. "He did this one and look how great it turned out!"

Virgil leans forward a bit to look at it, a bit awed by how smooth the lines are and how well it's been inked. "Yeah, it does look great, Ro. So, should I get my tattoo done by him? You seem to trust him a lot."

"I think you should, but it's up to you. It's your tattoo after all. However, I can give you the number of his tattoo parlor so you can call and make an appointment." Roman pulls out his phone and looks quizzically at Virgil, who just nods. Roman grins and starts typing something before Virgil's phone buzzes in their pocket.

"There. Trust me. He's a really good artist and don't worry about being nervous. I definitely was for my first tattoo but he's also really great at easing any fears you might have." Roman says and Virgil gives a small smile at that.

"Alright. Thank you, Ro." Virgil leans back in their seat, feeling relieved that they at least have a tattoo artist to look into now, without having to do hours of research into it like they'd been planning. Sure, they're still going to be cautious about the whole thing but since Roman's had several tattoos from the guy that turned out well, it seems like it might not be a bad idea to go to this one.

"Anytime, my dear compatriot! Now, let me tell you about the surprise I've got planned for Dee…" Roman starts talking and Virgil's content to sit back and listen to Roman's idea, Logan already knowing about the date as he's in on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil does end up calling and making an appointment with the guy Roman recommended, just a basic consultation to see if it really is a good idea getting their tattoo done there. So, on their next day off from the café, they find themselves outside a tattoo parlor that's actually rather close to the café now that they think about it. Virgil just shrugs and goes inside the building, feeling a bit antsy about the idea of getting a tattoo now that they're actually here.

The receptionist smiles at them brightly. "Please, have a seat. He's almost done with his current appointment."

Virgil nods and pulls out their phone, scrolling idly through Tumblr until they hear an excited gasp, causing them to look up in confusion. Their eyes widen at the sight of the person in front of them, their mind going back to realize that they never did find out what Remy did for a job.

"Virgil, babes! What are you doing in my neck of the woods?" Remy asks with a bright smile, figuring that Roman had something to do with it. Roman did tell him that he'd recommended him to a new customer, after all.

Virgil chuckles a bit sheepishly, "I decided I wanted to get a tattoo. I didn't know you worked here…" Virgil says and Remy smiles softly at them, understanding that they're feeling a bit nervous about this.

"Well, come on in, sugar, and we can discuss what kind of tattoo you want." Remy says, his voice going a bit more professional. "Clearly, I'm the best around or you wouldn't have come to me." Remy winks, hoping to make Virgil relax a bit.

It seems to work as Virgil snorts and rises from their seat, following Remy to a room set aside especially for consultations. The walls are covered in examples of tattoos that Remy's done, ranging from simple outlines to large sleeves full of color and detail.

Remy sits down and gestures for Virgil to do the same, giving them a soft smile. "So, darling, do you have an idea of what kind of tattoo you'd like?" Remy asks, curious since Virgil's never mentioned having nor wanting to have a tattoo to him before.

Virgil nods and pulls out a notebook. "Yeah, I've actually sketched a few ideas out." Virgil gives a sheepish look, causing Remy to shake his head barely.

"Don't be nervous, hun. You're not the first one who's brought in sketches before. Now let me see them. Is there one in particular you feel like you're wanting?" Remy says in a soft, calm tone, smiling reassuringly at them.

Virgil's shoulders relax and they open the notebook, flicking through a few pages before stopping and holding out the notebook for Remy to take. Remy looks down at the page, a smirk spreading across his face at the purple thundercloud design. Actually, now that he looks closer, the main part of the purple is actually a galaxy pattern, but it still doesn't look like it's out of his range.

"Ooh, this is real pretty, doll." Remy says, looking back up at Virgil. "So, is this the one you want?" Virgil nods, looking faintly nervous still. "Don't worry, darling. This is hardly a challenge for me. Listen to me for a moment." Remy starts to explain what Virgil needs to know about the actual appointment, figuring that Virgil's too keyed up for it be today. He goes over how long the session would be, how much it would cost, etc. All the important things.

"So, you still sure about this, doll?" Remy asks, giving Virgil the opportunity to back out if they're too anxious about it. He would not want his Virgil to regret anything like this if he could be the one to prevent it from happening.

"I am. I want the tattoo." Virgil says, their voice a lot more certain now that Remy's explained everything.

Remy smiles and shuts the notebook. "Alright, babes. Mind if I hold onto this so I can get a stencil ready for you?" Virgil shakes their head and Remy sets the notebook on his desk, standing up and helping Virgil to their feet, squeezing their hand softly.

"Make an appointment with the receptionist before you go, alright, darling?" Remy brings Virgil's hands to his lips, brushing a kiss across their knuckles. "And I'll likely be seeing you tomorrow night, you do work then, right?"

Virgil nods, a smile on their face at the gesture. "Yeah. I'll see you then, Rem." Virgil says, getting a strangely confident look on their face before they lean up and peck Remy's cheek softly. "Bye, Remy." Virgil leaves the room and Remy laughs softly once they're gone, his heart fluttering in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil makes an appointment with the receptionist for the following week before going out and sitting in their car, pulling their phone out of their pocket. 'I'm coming over.' They text Declan, quickly receiving an okay that has them pulling out of the parking lot and heading over to their brother's house.

Once they arrive, they head up and go inside, strolling into the living room where Declan is curled up on the couch with Roman on one side and Logan on the other, an arm around them both. Which is exactly what Virgil had expected when they'd sent their brother the text.

Virgil playfully narrows their eyes at Roman, who just grins at them, feeling like he knows why they're there. "Hey there, emo nightmare. How was the appointment?" Roman says, entirely too cheekily for Virgil's liking.

"You knew, didn't you? That the Remy from the café was the same tattoo artist you were recommending to me?" Virgil says, crossing their arms and mock-glaring at Roman, no heat in the expression at all. After all, it's not like they mind spending more time with Remy. They just want to tease Roman a bit.

"Sure did, storm cloud!" Roman says with a grin, "Or at least, I was pretty sure I did." Roman looks like he would shrug if he weren't pressed so close up against Declan. "Why? Afraid that your crush is the one that'd be giving you a tattoo?"

Virgil scowls slightly at the teasing tone, "Of course not. But what have we said about you playing matchmaker?"

Roman just chuckles. "You'll be thanking me later."

Virgil huffs at how sure Roman is at that, but… He's not exactly wrong is he? Though they didn't really need his help to get closer to Remy, it would've happened eventually.

"Wait, what is this about a tattoo?" Declan asks, looking a bit confused but mostly curious. He knows that Virgil's wanted a tattoo for a long while but they've always been too anxious to actually go through with it.

"I decided I wanted to get one." Virgil says with a shrug. They pull out their phone and open up a picture they'd taken of the sketch they gave Remy. "This is the one I'm getting."

Declan looks at it and Roman leans closer to get a peek at the screen. "It looks good. And you're sure that Remy's a proficient tattoo artist?" Declan says, sounding a bit worried.

Virgil just smiles and is about to answer when Roman speaks up, "Most of my tattoos were done by him, Dee." Declan thinks that over for a second before nodding slowly.

"So, yes. He can be trusted to do a good job." Virgil adds.

"Okay. But V?" Declan asks, looking curious at them, a teasing glint in his eye. Virgil just tilts their head and Declan smirks. "When are you actually going to ask the guy out?"

Virgil groans, flopping onto the couch beside Roman. "I dunno. Soon, I guess?" Virgil shrugs and Roman gasps excitedly.

"Ooh, I know! You should ask him out after he does your tattoo!" Roman suggests, looking far-too-excited to help Virgil with their love life.

"Maybe." Virgil shrugs, thinking it over. That doesn't actually sound like a bad idea if they can go through with it. Roman looks appeased at the maybe, snuggling further into Declan's side. The conversation shifts to something else, leaving Virgil mulling over their decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Virgil swears that time slowed down on purpose between the consultation and the actual appointment just to mess with them. But once the week is over, it feels like it flew by in a flash.

Shortly after lunch, they're once again at the tattoo parlor, ready for the long hours ahead. They pull out their phone while they wait for Remy to finish up the appointment before them, which has the benefit of distracting them from their nerves a bit.

All too soon, they're following Remy into the main room of the tattoo parlor, feeling both nervous and excited, which Remy seems to sense as he gives them a soft smile.

"If you decide it's too much, we can just do the outline today and do the coloring another night, alright, babes?" Remy asks, setting a hand on Virgil's shoulder.

The warmth of his hand comforts Virgil and they nod. "Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, but for now, I want to get it over with."

Remy laughs and heads over to their tools. "A good mindset to have! Mind taking your jacket off and having a seat for me?" Remy says as he double-checks that everything's ready to go.

Virgil nods and shrugs out of his jacket, sitting down in the chair and watching Remy for a moment. Remy pulls on a fresh pair of gloves and turns around, freezing for a moment at the sight of Virgil in a black tank top. Damn… Virgil's more muscled than their hoodie gives them credit for…

Remy shakes his head, snapping into a more professional attitude. There's time to be gay for Virgil later when he doesn't have to worry about doing his actual job. Virgil smirks slightly at the look and watches as Remy sterilizes the area and puts an initial outline on their upper arm. Remy double-checks that it looks the way Virgil wants it to before beginning to ink the tattoo.

It hurts. Virgil had expected that, of course, but it's a bit different from being mentally prepared for it and actually feeling it. Remy winces sympathetically as Virgil hisses at the pain. "So, what's the inspiration behind this design?" Remy asks.

"So, when Ro and I were kids, he would rope me into playing princes with him and we came up with these designs as the emblems of our two kingdoms and the main inspiration of one of his nicknames for me. We'd go on all sorts of adventures together." Virgil says with a fond smile, "One time…" They start telling a story of one of these adventures, getting so lost in telling the story that they're not thinking about the pain anymore, letting it become something they can easily ignore.

Remy smiles once he realizes this and at how cute the story is. It's exactly how he would have pictured Roman acting as a kid.

The outline takes about an hour to complete, but with Virgil's storytelling, it feels like it flew by. "Okay. Outline's finished." Remy says once Virgil wraps up a story, snickering at the surprised expression on their face. "Want to take a small break before we start the coloring?"

Virgil nods and Remy sits back, grinning at them. "So I'm assuming Roman told you to come here?"

"He did. He was super excited that I'm getting a tattoo and suggested I come here almost immediately."

Remy chuckles softly. "Yeah, he told me he'd recommended me to someone. Didn't think for a second it'd be you, but it clicked when I saw you and from how smug he'd been on the phone."

Virgil rolls their eyes, a faint smile on their face. They talk for a little while longer before Remy sits up and tilts his head at Virgil. "So, you ready to get the color started?" Virgil nods and Remy stands up, going to get the coloring set up before getting into position. "Once again, if you need a break, don’t hesitate to ask."

"Okay," Virgil says and Remy starts working, causing Virgil to wince at the pain, but it's not as bad as before. They'd read that for some the coloring is the worst part, but they're glad that it's not for them at least this time.

Remy starts asking Virgil questions, some having short answers, like what their favorite hot drink is, and some requiring a full story to answer properly. It has Virgil so distracted that when Remy pulls back, saying that they're done, Virgil can't quite believe it. How did all that time pass by like it was nothing?

Remy chuckles at their expression and goes to put the tool away, coming back over and cleaning the tattoo gently. "You want to see it before I wrap it up, babes?" Remy asks and Virgil nods quickly. Remy smiles at their enthusiasm and takes their hand, helping them to their feet and over to a mirror on the wall.

The tattoo looks perfect. There's a pretty galaxy effect ranging from pink to purple to indigo in the center bit of the thundercloud but the rest is a softer purple. It's exactly what Virgil wanted. "Woah… This is beautiful, Remy." Virgil says, their voice awed and soft.

Remy smiles, feeling a swirl of warmth at seeing Virgil so pleased with his work. "Thank you, babes. Now, let me wrap it up and tell you a few things."

Virgil lets Remy lead them away from the mirror and back to the chair. Remy makes sure that the tattoo's cleaned before putting a bandage over it and wrapping it up, explaining what Virgil will need to do to take care of the tattoo until it's fully healed.

"And then you'll be good to go, darling," Remy says and Virgil smiles shyly at him, Roman's suggestion coming back to them.

"Thank you, Remy," Virgil says earnestly. "I was hoping to ask you something once the tattoo was done…" They trail off, a bit anxious, looking away from Remy.

"Which is, sweetness?" Remy asks, setting his hand on theirs, giving them the time they need to regain whatever confidence this question needs.

"Would you go on a date with me?" Virgil blurts out. It's like a bandaid, you gotta rip it off.

Remy chuckles softly and brushes his fingers against Virgil's cheek. "You beat me to it, babes. I was going to ask you if you'd like to come to dinner with me tonight." Remy says, his voice soft and affectionate. Enough so that it makes Virgil melt where they're standing.

Virgil smiles softly at Remy, causing his breath to catch at how pretty that expression is. "Darling, tell me if this is too soon, but I kinda want to kiss you…"

"Please…" Virgil whispers and Remy exhales softly, brushing a bit of Virgil's bangs out of their eyes before leaning forward and kissing them softly.

The kiss is short but sweet and full of promise. As he pulls back, Remy slides a hand down Virgil's arm and takes their hand, entangling their fingers together.

"Come on, Virgil. Let's go get that dinner." Remy says. "You told me so many stories today, I think it's only fair that I tell you some of my own."

"I'd love that," Virgil says and they leave the tattoo parlor, hand-in-hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tagging @sleepless-in-starbucks since it’s Remy-centric ^^

Sanders Sides Taglist (lemme know if you want to be added/removed!):  @anuninspiredpoet, @echomist13, @theresneverenoughfandoms @fiive-second-cookies @sevencrashing, @virgil-is-verge @fandermom @evilmuffin @fairytailtwists

Non-Sides Fics Taglist from the Fanders Taglist:

@starlightlogan @katesattic @potterlover394 @imaflashcard @anonymouseandkeyboard @k9cat @patpots-blog @ocotopushugs @justmyshitandmoreshit @patchworkofstars @blaikleethepanagender @thats-so-crash @maximum-fander @evilmuffin @trashypansexual @runyou-cleverboy-andremember @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @beetlequail @angered-turtle @lemonyellowlogic @analogical-mess @max-is-tired

[killjoyhistoryarchive]

“Conventional Weapons” and the Rocky Road to “Danger Days”

In 2009, My Chemical Romance was buzzing with activity. The band performed several shows and festivals (including Summer Sonic in Japan), Gerard and Mikey Way attended San Diego Comic Con, and The Umbrella Academy was named one of Amazon’s top comics of 2009. Ray Toro held a Whopper eating contest on the official MCR website (no joke), while a certain comic series written by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon was announced in August. And at a show at the Roxy in Los Angeles, MCR performed three new songs from their upcoming album.

But while their next album seemed easily slated for an early 2010 release, MCR was about to hit a series of hurdles that would leave them with a scrapped album, a lost drummer, and a totally new outlook on where their music was headed.

On July 31st, 2009, MCR performed a set at the Roxy that included three new songs��“Kiss The Ring,” “The Drugs,” and “Death Before Disco.” Gerard was enthusiastic about the new tracks, even telling Rolling Stone that “Death Before Disco” was “the greatest song we’ve ever written.” Videos of the tracks soon appeared online, where fans eagerly devoured what they thought would be the follow-up to 2006’s The Black Parade.

As the days and weeks went on, the media blitz kicked into high-gear. While Ray Toro posted short studio clips on MCR’s website, the band gave several interviews where they gushed about producer Brendan O'Brien, discussed their new stripped-down style, and claimed that this would be their best record yet. In an interview with MTV, Gerard described the still-untitled album as a “true love letter to rock and roll,” adding:

“There’s something about being an American rock-and-roll band that we’ve kind of grown into and we’re very proud of. And I think that’s what we’re celebrating with this record. There’s no agenda, there’s no mission; it’s just about rock and roll.”

Meanwhile, Gerard Way and close friend Shaun Simon had another surprise in store: a comic series called "Killjoys.” Dark Horse Comics announced the release at San Diego Comic Con. Jeremy Atkins, the Dark Horse Director of Public Relations, described “Killjoys” as “a psychedelic rock-and-roll road trip adventure geared toward both fans of The Umbrella Academy and My Chemical Romance.” But not much else was said about the comic, as MCR’s upcoming album had become Gerard’s top priority.

As the album drew closer to completion, MCR gave fans more glimpses of what lay in store. They shared the titles of various tracks, including “Still Alive,” “Trans Am,” “Hail To The King,” “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back," “L.A. Heavy,” "The Only Hope For Me Is You,” and “Black Dragon Fighting Society.” They cited a variety of influences, including Queen, Judas Priest, Bruce Springsteen, The Killers, and Blade Runner. By all accounts, this was going to be MCR’s defining album.

In December, MCR previewed seven tracks for SPIN magazine. A month later, in January of 2010, the album–which was still untitled–was rumored to be released on March 30th. As they continued to rework the songs, they realized that the stripped-down sound wasn’t working. As NME reported in January:

Things turned around with a song called “Trans Am,” now renamed "Bullet Proof Heart,” the likely first single. And perversely, they did it by returning to fiction. Broadly, it’s about a boy in New Jersey, dressed in a Judas Priest T-shirt, called Johnny. And a girl called Jenny who might be his girlfriend, but who also (honk the pop fact sirens!) might also be the missing girl from “Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers.

But in the same interview, Gerard restated that the album would give "the purest, best version of the band you could ever hope for.” And in early February, MCR finally started to wrap up production, telling Big Cheese that the album would probably be released in spring or summer.

“Killjoys” also looked promising–back in January, Scott Allie had reported in a blog post that Shaun Simon and Becky Cloonan were ready to get started. Once Gerard wrapped up the album and finished working on the Umbrella Academy movie screenplay, it seemed like he’d be ready to dive in.

But February was also when the band publicly stumbled for the first time.

Before the Big Cheese interview, MCR had abruptly cancelled their appearance at the Soundwave festival in Australia. In a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank claimed that Gerard was having voice problems (he jokingly implied that it was due to coffee and cigarettes) and required treatment to make a full recovery.

Fans were disappointed, but most understood that it couldn’t be helped. But a month later, the fandom received another shock: MCR’s drummer Bob Bryar had departed the band. In another blog post, Frank told fans:

As of 4 weeks ago, My Chemical Romance and Bob Bryar parted ways. This was a painful decision for all of us to make and was not taken lightly. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors and expect you all to do the same. We also wanted to give you all a quick heads up on how the record is progressing. We have been writing some very powerful new songs so this week the four of us entered the studio once again, and what has been ending up on tape each night is some of the most exciting and honest work we have ever created.

The fandom was stunned. Clearly, MCR had been experiencing some behind-the-scenes turmoil, suggesting that the process wasn’t going as smoothly as fans had thought. While it wasn’t known at the time, they also parted ways with producer Brendan O'Brien, who had been hired specifically to channel their raw, back-to-basics sound. Where would MCR go from here? And when would fans hear the latest album–which was apparently undergoing rewrites once again?

It wasn’t until late 2010 that fans would finally learn what had happened to this unreleased album.

This moment, says frontman Gerard Way, looking back on what went wrong, “was the hardest part”. Guitarist Ray Toro was “home dealing with some family things”, leaving Way, his bassist brother Mikey, and guitarist Frank Iero alone in the mixing studio. “The sinking feeling was really starting to become loud that it wasn’t right - that the record wasn’t finished, I couldn’t even put them in a track order … "Thinking about it now, it’s kind of upsetting, because I just felt so lost,” Gerard says.

This was discussed in an interview with Herald Sun, where they talked about the process of starting again after the departure of their drummer and producer. Speaking to Music Radar, Ray Toro talked about the struggles the band had with original producer Brendan O'Brien, admitting that it hadn’t gone as well as they once thought:

“He was really trying; he did the best he could with us. He knew things weren’t clicking, and he’d try to rally us. I remember he said, ‘Hey, on some songs, I’d love to hear you do what you did on The Black Parade.’ Because there wasn’t any of the harmonized guitar parts or the stacking that I usually do. He was trying to get us to make one record, and we wanted to make something totally different.

Musically, we wanted to go back to our basement. But just because we wanted to do something different didn’t make it easy. In many ways, we felt as though we were holding ourselves back creatively. We were going through the motions. Some of the songs were good, but we weren’t happy with all of them.”

Needing a break, Gerard took a vacation to the desert that surrounded Los Angeles. There, as he told Terminal 5, he realized “I had started the band after 9/11 when I hated art. Black Parade had been about hiding and punishment. I couldn’t tell the truth so I’d talk about cancer instead. I had to put on a mask to show people who I really was. But now it was time to own it. To be who I was before this band started. And I had something in my back pocket: this song, ‘Na Na Na.’”

Reunited with producer Rob Cavallo, who had worked on The Black Parade, the band kicked things off with “Na Na Na.” Gerard and Shaun Simon’s comic “Killjoys,” once a separate side project that had nothing to do with the band, suddenly became the concept that they formed the album around. Fueled by fresh creative energy, the band wrote and re-wrote tracks, came up with concepts and characters like Dr. Death Defying, and shredded the limitations that had confined them. At one point, Gerard turned to his brother Mikey and said “Danger Days, here we come again!”

Not everything from the previous record was scrapped. “Trans Am” became “Bulletproof Heart”; “Death Before Disco” became “Party Poison.” A few new versions of old tracks appeared on the record, as well as the Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP that came later. But MCR’s fourth album had gone from a rock and roll record that deliberately avoided ambitious storylines, to a vividly realized concept album that invited fans into the world of post-apocalyptic California. In many ways, it was the opposite of what they had originally planned. And it seemed to be exactly what they had been looking for.

During this time, Frank snapped in-studio photos that he sold on MCR’s official website, offering one-of-a-kind peeks into the recording process. In March, Mikey Way stated in a blog post that “One day you will wake up, and nothing will ever be the same again, but it’ll feel like an old friend.” He was talking about upcoming changes to the MCR website, but in a way that statement reflected the band’s process at the time–they had completely reinvented themselves, and yet there was still a certain familiarity in the old tracks they had revamped.

The band completed the album with fresh energy, offering sporadic updates in the coming months. Fans waited with some skepticism to see what MCR had in store. And finally, one day in early September, MCR’s website disappeared and was replaced with a mysterious transmitter. The Danger Days era had begun.

But was the scrapped album hidden away, never to be heard again? Not quite.

In 2012, in a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank talked about the feelings of depression that he had faced after The Black Parade. He felt like MCR had done it all, leaving them with nothing left to accomplish. In November 2008, Gerard called him up to talk about the band. As new ideas took shape, they prepared to start recording the album that would eventually be scrapped after months of work.

Frank pointed out that while the band had limited themselves during the recording of this album, the songs weren’t inherently bad–in fact, some of them were among his favorites that the band had produced. As time passed, he developed a greater appreciation for the tracks. And when the band met up and listened to those songs, they decided to release a selection of tracks to the public–two tracks a month for the next five months, for a total of ten.

After all this time, the album finally had a title: Conventional Weapons. Tracks included “Kiss The Ring,” “The World Is Ugly,” “Surrender The Night,” and the fan-favorite “The Light Behind Your Eyes.” Listening to the tracks, it was clear that MCR had aimed for a rock album with a pure American sound–no ambitious concepts or storylines, just a set of killer tracks. Whether they succeeded is up to the listener to decide, but they provided some insight into what came before Danger Days.

Due to its unconventional release, and the fact that the album was a series of random tracks and not a finished product, Conventional Weapons is not considered an “official” MCR album. But while Danger Days was the final album, Conventional Weapons was the final release before MCR broke up in 2013. Since the split, the release of CW has caused many fans to wonder–will My Chemical Romance’s fifth (and unreleased) album ever be shared in a similar fashion? Or will it be locked away forever, like the other CW tracks that were never released?

Only time will tell. But for now, Conventional Weapons serves as an intriguing part of MCR’s history–a time when the band set out to make one type of album, and ended up making the complete opposite.

(Picture credits: 1 2 3. Other in-studio photos by Frank Iero.)

[Originally published 07.09.2017]

[spaceskam]

i’m a free spirit, that means free from you

i wrote a fic awhile ago about Michael exploring his sexuality. Now that it’s day 6 of @alexmanesappreciation (lost decade/missing scenes), it felt fitting for it to be Alex’s turn!

Warning: internalized homophobia and unhealthy relationships

ao3

.First Kiss.

“Oh, c’mon Alex, she likes you.”

Alex tried to smile as Kyle pestered him after they snuck out of their cabin and started wading through the woods. Summer camp was fine and all, but the longer he stayed there the higher the chances were that he was going to get in trouble. He just wasn’t sure what he was going to get in trouble for. It was just this stupid thing in his head that told him to be good, act normal, stop that.

They got louder every single time one of the other boys got too close to him when they were in their swim trunks.

“Yeah, but Katie? She’s not my type,” Alex said, mimicking what he’d heard his brother Greg say about the nice girl that was in the band at the high school. She made him cookies, wore a lot of stuff with skulls on them, and introduced him to a cool band called Blink-182. She stopped coming around after Greg told her she wasn’t his type.

“Type?” Kyle laughed, “She’s a girl! She’s got boobs!”

Alex tried to remind himself that he was supposed to like that even though he didn’t quite understand why.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Alex said, nodding. 

They reached the riverbank where the rest of their friends‒or, really, Kyle’s friends‒had congregated, sneaking out after the counselors had gone to their own party for the night. It was ten of them in total, five from the boys side of camp and five from the girls. Alex didn’t even want to sneak out, really scared of what would happen if someone found out, but Kyle had grabbed his arm and begged him and he just said yes.

“Let’s play truth or dare!” Katie said, making sure to look right at Alex as she said so. He instinctively looked to Kyle, hoping he would be on his side and say no.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” Kyle said, agreeing like the rest of the guys and girls. Alex was the only one who didn’t want to, but he couldn’t be the only one who didn’t want to. That’s how you get people to make fun of you.

So they all sat down and the game just started. Everyone was being dumb, daring dumb things that Alex thought were stupid. He was the only one that kept saying truth and, even then, they weren’t anything fun and then he couldn’t come up with anything good and it just wasn’t fun. He kept looking to Kyle, kept trying to signal to him that this wasn’t fun, but it didn’t seem to click.

“Alex, truth or dare,” Katie said, eyes on him. She was pretty, she was. She had pretty hair and a pretty face and... boobs or something. But every time she looked at him, he got a little nervous. 

“Truth,” he said again. Everyone immediately started complaining.

“You can’t keep saying truth!” Wyatt told him, “It’s no fun, you’re ruining the game.”

“Yeah, Alex, just say dare,” Kyle pressed. Alex glared at him for a second before sighing and slumping his shoulder. What could one dare do? Kyle had already drank river water.

“Fine,” he agreed, “Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me,” Katie said. Everyone around them ooh’d and Alex felt straight up terrified for a moment. He was a kid, he was way too young to be kissing anyone. Thirteen was way too young, didn’t they know that. 

“In front of everybody?” Alex asked, voice cracking. She rolled her eyes dramatically. 

“No, silly,” she said and he almost sighed in relief. Almost. “In the woods.”

Another round of ooh’s surrounding him and making him feel like he had literally no fucking choice in the matter. He knew that if he tried to tell them he didn’t want to, they’d make fun of him. He knew if he asked for a different dare, they’d make fun of him. And, at the end of the day, it was just a kiss. Why not get the first one over with anyway?

Alex did what he was told and stood up. He and Katie went into the woods, just out of the line of sight of the rest, and then they just stood there. She was a little taller than he was and way too close, smiling at him as wide as she could.

“So...”

“So,” she said, “Kiss me.”

“I-I don’t really know how to,” he said. She rolled her eyes.

“It’s easy, you just do this with your lips,” Katie told him, pursing her lips and closing her eyes. And then she waited. Alex just stared at her for a minute until she opened her eyes and looked at him expectantly. “Alex, you gotta do it too.”

“Oh,” he said. And he did. And he kissed her.

It was quick and weird and he understood the whole kissing thing a billion times less than before. But when they separated, she was smiling so big and her face was red. Clearly she’d enjoyed it which had him lost even more. Did something happen that he missed? It just felt weird.

“You’re my boyfriend now, right?” she said. He blinked in confusion.

“Uh...”

“Yay!” Katie said, grabbing his hand and leading him back towards the group.

He wiped his mouth off on the back of his hand and started planning ways to avoid that ever happening again.

.First Crush.

Alex bit down on his thumb nail as he looked around the room, making sure no one would look over his shoulder.

Of course they wouldn’t, he knew that, it was a public library and no one cared, but still. His eyes swept around a couple more times before he realized the more he did that, the more suspicious he looked, so he might as well just do what he came here for.

He gulped harshly and, with shaky hands, clicked the internet icon. Quickly, he typed in how do you know if you’re gay in the search bar. It loaded too slow and it made him look around again as if his dad was going to come out of nowhere. He knew that wasn’t it. He was fifteen now, his dad did let him go to the library by himself. 

He scrolled through all the web pages, skimming the little summary but none of them answered his question. He just needed an answer, he needed someone to tell him. The more people around him called him gay, the less he felt like he understood it. How was he the one being called gay when they were the ones who compared their dicks in the locker room and he didn’t want to be apart of it? How was he the one being gay when he was the only one who looked away during that gross puberty class? How did watching the I Write Sins Not Tragedies music video more than once make someone gay? More importantly, what was so gay about having friends that were girls?

They all threw that word and none of them seemed to make sense. They never called him gay when he accidentally stared too long the first time he got in the locker room with the seniors. They never called him gay when he forgot how to breathe every time Mr. Edwards bent over to pick up a pencil. They never called him gay when he was really interested in watching wrestling. How was he supposed to know when everything seemed so disjointed?

Alex scrolled a little more and saw a link to something labeled ‘Am I Gay? Quiz 100% Accurate’ and, well, he couldn’t help himself.

 Question #1: What do you consider yourself? Straight, Gay, Bisexual, Other

He stared at it with furrowed eyebrows, the cursor hovering over each option maybe a little longer than he should’ve. He eventually settled on straight. He had kissed girls and had girlfriends before even if it wasn’t great, it was still what he’d been doing. That was straight. 

Question #2: In the locker room, did you ever peek over at another guy? Yes seize the opportunity, Yes but out of curiosity, No gross, No but I wanted to

Alex swallowed hard, his stomach churning. The mouse hovered over the first option. But was it like that though? Yes, he had looked, but he wasn’t trying to be gross or anything. He didn’t want to make anyone feel bad. He quickly selected the second option instead.

Question #3: You’re in a relationship with a girl, but you discover that there is a guy who likes you. What do you do? Stay with the girl because you like her, stay with the girl because you feel like you should, never go out with a girl in the first place, break up with the girl for the guy

That one at least felt obvious. Of course he would stay with the girl. What kind of person just breaks up with someone because someone else likes them? That’s just mean. He chose the second option instead of the first and decided not to think too hard about why.

Question #4: Would you ever cheat on a girl with a... girl, guy, I wouldn’t cheat

He smiled at the second no-brainer in a row. He would never cheat. He wasn’t an asshole. 

Question #5: Why are you taking this quiz? I’m bored, I’m confused, I’m gay

Alex stared at it longer than he should’ve. Why was he taking this quiz? Shouldn’t he know these things? It shouldn’t be hard. He should know who he was sexually attracted to, right? He should know. But it wasn’t that fucking easy. He’d met girls who were pretty. Did he want to sleep with them? No, but he hadn’t really met any guys in person that he wanted to sleep with either. It was too much, too confusing.

So, he clicked that he was confusing.

The loading bar stayed on the screen for way too long, but, sure enough, a screen popped up that he was, in fact, straight just a little confused. Which was apparently normal. Alex leaned back, nodding to himself. He was normal.

Alex exited out of the browser and got up, pulling out his iPod from his pocket. He put his headphones over his ears and waved to the nice librarian as he left before pressing play. He felt good, normal, as he walked in time to the MCR song that flooded through his ears towards Bean Me Up. He’d taken a test and even it said he was fine. He’d be fine.

He ordered a coffee and walked to the other side of the counter to wait, leaning against the wall. A smile easily found his face as Lying Is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off by Panic! At the Disco started flooding into his ears. He found it impossible not to smile when he heard Brendon Urie’s voice. How was someone that fucking talented?

Then everything slowed down as someone appeared outside the window.

The seductive singing only seemed to set the stage as Marcus Lopez, current quarterback at Roswell High, slowed to a stop, breathing heavy and sweating with his workout gear clinging to his brown skin that literally was glowing under the sun. Alex couldn’t fucking breathe as he pulled his shirt up and over his head and used it to wipe his face dry, exposing his toned stomach and flexing his biceps. He pulled a water bottle out of nowhere and poured it into his mouth, some of the water missing and sliding over each crevice of his body. 

Oh.

Oh.

.First Boyfriend.

“What are you playing?”

Alex looked over to the doorway to see Elijah Thibodaux staring at him. He was the senior boy who got the lead in every school musical and every solo in choir. He was talented and every girl in theatre and choir was obsessed with him. Alex, however, kept his appreciation to himself.

“Oh, uh, I wrote it,” Alex admitted, shyly looking back to his guitar. He tried to keep playing so he’d come off as cool, but he was feeling a little flustered. Boys didn’t really talk to him if they could help it and this one boy was not only talking to him, but he was super cute. 

“Musetta’s Waltz.”

“Huh?” Alex asked. Elijah smiled at him and walked further into the music room, straddling the chair beside him.

“That’s Musetta’s Waltz,” Elijah told him, “Not an original.”

Alex stopped playing, embarrassment filling his system. Leave to him to fuck it up the minute he tried to be cool. Elijah just laughed it off though, scooting closer. Alex tried not to seize up as his hand touched his back. Why was a suave senior touching him? What the fuck was that supposed to be mean?

Elijah’s hand slid up to Alex’s shoulder and he looked over at him.

“Go on, play something for me,” Elijah told him, looking at him with those obscenely green eyes and batting those long eyelashes against his pale cheeks. Alex swallowed hard and nodded, looking back down to his guitar. Instinct took over and Alex slowly started strumming the chords to Wonderwall. Elijah moved his hand up to his jaw. “You’re really good.”

“Thank you,” Alex said, looking over at him and trying to remember how to breathe. His strumming got a little sloppy, but it didn’t seem to matter. Elijah just leaned in close, smiling and his eyes flickering down to his lips and back up again. Alex didn’t have time to even process it before he was being kissed.

Alex stared with wide eyes as Elijah pulled away, struggling to comprehend what the hell just happened. It didn’t make any sense. Elijah was gorgeous and desired and Alex was… What?

“You just kissed me,” Alex said blankly. Elijah grinned.

“Yeah.” And then he did it again.

Alex melted at the attention. It was the first time a boy had ever given him so much attention. He had no idea what to even do with it. 

After that, Alex slowly found himself at Elijah’s beck and call. They would make out behind the bleachers and late at night after sneaking out. Elijah flooded him with compliments and only persuaded him a little to send raunchy pictures or do things he wasn’t quite sure about. But it was fine because he was his boyfriend. That’s what you did with boyfriends.

They carried on like that for a few months, all of it secret. Alex wanted to tell Maria and Liz about him a few times, but Elijah said it was a bad idea and he knew it. He loved them but he wasn’t sure they’d be able to keep it a complete secret. And no one could find out about Elijah and him because of his dad.

But it was a couple nights before the spring choir concert when Alex started hearing things about Elijah having a girlfriend. That didn’t make sense to Alex and he was sure it wasn’t real. People must’ve gotten things confused. Elijah was close to a lot of girls, it was bound to happen. Elijah was Alex’s boyfriend. No one else’s. But, still, Alex found himself a little more willing to send more explicit pictures for a couple days just to make sure he still held his attention.

Which didn’t stop him from walking down the hall, hand in hand with a girl on the day of the spring choir concert.

Alex didn’t know how to deal with the pain that flooded his system at the sight. He got irrationally upset and wanted to confront him right there, but he decided to wait. He waited until lunch time and they met up at their usual spot behind the bleachers. That’s where they would kiss and talk and do boyfriend things.

“I saw you with that girl,” Alex said boldly as Elijah went to greet him with a kiss. He had the audacity to be confused and, when he realized Alex was serious, he rolled his eyes. “Are you cheating on me?”

“Look, it’s not that big of a deal. I started talking to Cassie way before I even started talking to you,” Elijah told him. The way he said it made it sound like it made it less mean. It didn’t stop Alex’s heart from breaking. “It’s not the same.”

“What do you mean it’s not the same? You’re cheating on me!”

Elijah sighed, “Don’t be dramatic, it’s not cheating.”

“Then what do you call it?”

“Alex, it doesn’t even count. I mean, you’re a guy.”

Alex blinked and swallowed harshly, trying to follow his train of thought. It counted for him. It really, really counted for him. That wasn’t fair.

“I don’t think we should see each other anymore,” Alex said softly. Elijah scoffed.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that.”

“No, ‘cause it counts for me. It’s cheating.”

Alex was proud of himself for being man enough to walk away.

Less proud of himself for taking all the way up until Elijah graduated two months later before he stopped answering every time he called.

.First Love.

“You trust me?”

“Um, yes.”

“Then c’mon.”

Alex bit down on his bottom lip as he caved and jumped into the passenger seat of Michael’s truck. They were newly graduated, fresh adults, and everyone was supposed to be going to graduation parties. Of course, Liz wasn’t around anymore and Alex was finding it hard to celebrate when Rosa was dead.

But he still told his dad he was going to one which meant he could sneak off with Michael.

Part of him felt a little guilty for allowing himself even a shred of happiness, but then all he had to do was look at Michael’s fucked hand and he realized nothing really mattered. Soon, he’d be off to basic and he’d have to leave Michael behind. He was going to steal all the happiness he could.

Michael draped his arm around Alex’s shoulders as he drove out to the middle of nowhere and Alex leaned into his side. His head hit his shoulder and his eyes closed, soaking up the closeness of, well, him. He smelled like motor oil since he drove straight from work to graduation. Alex didn’t mind. In fact, he was pretty sure he would miss that smell when he was gone.

Alex tilted his head back to press a kiss to his neck and, from the corner of his eye, saw Michael smile. He had such a gorgeous smile. He was just gorgeous in general with his big, expressive eyes and sunburnt cheeks. Beautiful, kind, caring, what more could someone ask for in a boyfriend?

The truck pulled to a stop in the middle of the desert, far away from where anyone could stumble upon them, much less find them on purpose. It was a comforting thought.

The two of them climbed into the bed of the truck and laid out his sleeping bags to give them some sort of cushion before they laid down. Alex laid directly in his arms and Michael responded with a sweet little hum as they got comfortable.

“So, what’s next?” Alex asked, “What’s your plan?”

“I don’t know. Fix up cars, work on ranches, save up money.”

“What happened to UNM?”

Michael was quiet for a moment before he exhaled heavily for a solid ten seconds. Alex tilted his head up to see that he very clearly hadn’t anticipated this conversation. Which was valid. But Alex knew they had limited time together. He wanted to make sure Michael was going to do something good with that big brain of his.

“I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Michael admitted, “Too big of a change all at once.”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows. “How? Everything’s gonna change already.”

“Yeah, but… At least staying here I have Max and Isobel,” Michael said. Alex lifted his head to meet his eyes. Michael was visibly sad, but he was trying to hide it. He sucked at hiding it. “I don’t know, I’m just not ready.”

“But you’re so smart. What happened to ag? You’ve been wanting to do that since I met you,” Alex pointed out. Michael forced a flirtatious little smile.

“Well, who’s gonna cheer me on when you’re gone?” he teased. But Alex didn’t find it funny.

“Guerin, don’t base your future around me. As much as I would love to be there with you every step of the way, you need to think about it for real. You could be something great, don’t bury yourself in me,” Alex told him, watching his smile fade. It was replaced by a sad bit of understanding.

“I know. I’m just gonna miss you,” he said.

“I’m gonna miss you too,” Alex agreed. 

Michael stared at him for a moment before looking away and up towards the sky, no longer making eye contact as he steadied his breathing. Alex knew he didn’t like talking about the future or the fact that Alex was leaving or the idea of growing up. For someone who had no real sense of stability, he hated any type of change. It was confusing and Alex didn’t know how to make him understand that he just wanted what was best for him.

Then it dawned on him that maybe that’s what love really was.

“Hey,” Alex said, gently laying his palm on Michael’s cheek and guiding his sight back to him, “I know it’s going to be weird after I leave and I still want you to do something good with your brain,  but this isn’t forever. I’m coming home. I don’t know when or, or who I’ll be when I do, but I’m gonna come home to you. I promise.”

And that seemed to be good enough for Michael. At least for that night.

.First ‘I Love You’.

“Like it fuckin’ matters? No one in our crew is a queer anyways.”

Alex forced a laugh and focused on his food. As of this morning, DADT was finally gone. Part of him thought he’d feel safer once it was, but he didn’t. The threat was still there. Now he just didn’t have a whole law to keep his self esteem from eating away at itself.

He wanted to shout it from the rooftops that he was here, he was queer, and if anyone had a problem with it, he would show them up. But then people that he hung out with every day, his friends, said things that scared the shit out of him. He knew that, if he came out, they probably wouldn’t actually care and would only require a little bit of reform, but the word probably still kept him in his cage.

“Manes!” Alex lifted his head to Col. Monroe, the man looking slightly more irritated than usual. “Do I need to send you to go hunt down Lawrence or is he on his way? I need to have a talk with him.”

A talk. Alex’s stomach dropped, but he didn’t let it show. Instead, he stood to his feet.

“I’ll go find him, Sir.”

“Good man.”

Alex discarded his tray quickly and headed to Jay’s place on base. His heart was thudding in his chest and slowly began to think this was probably on purpose. Jay Lawrence was a very reckless man and if almost pissing off someone high ranking was what it took to get Alex alone, well, he didn’t put it past him. 

Alex knocked on the door and it opened almost immediately. Jay stood at attention just to be safe, his toned body barely restrained by his almost-too-small uniform when he flexed, but he gave a sneaky little smile once he saw Alex. Then he pulled him inside. Once the door was closed, Alex was being kissed so senseless that it took him a moment to forget why he even came in the first place. 

He grabbed Jay’s elbows, breathing him in as he reluctantly pulled away. When he opened his eyes, Jay was just staring at him like he was the best thing to grace the Earth and it was easy to feel flustered by that. Alex wasn’t stupid, he knew Jay liked him more than he liked Jay. But Alex admittedly liked the attention and he definitely liked not feeling so alone, so he said nothing.

“DADT is fucking gone, A,” he said, a weight very clearly thrown off his shoulders, “Like officially. No rumors of it being gone, no vague date, no waiting. It’s gone. We, we could be something for real.”

Alex rubbed his thumb over his forearm, smiling slightly. He was younger than Alex, not by much but by enough. He had a family who loved him, who he was out to and who didn’t mind. They all agreed to keep hush so he could serve his country though. He was so pure and kind. He was way too good for Alex.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Alex teased lightly, sliding his hand up to the side of his neck. He’d never been with a man who was so dark that it made him look so pale in comparison before, but, like always, he found it hard to stop staring. They looked good together, objectively, aesthetically. They could be so good. “People still don’t like it. They were bitching about it in the DFAC.”

“Fuck them, what are they gonna do?” Jay asked, stepping in close again to go for another kiss. Reluctantly, Alex dodged it.

“Monroe sent me to find you. Said he wants to talk to you,” Alex told him. His smile faded just a little.

“Okay, then I’ll go, but don’t change the subject,” Jay said, moving his hands to his hips, “C’mon, let’s talk about it. When can we make it public? Or, just, like stop trying so hard to hide?”

Alex stared at him, trying to find a way to say never. If it got back to his father that he was seeing someone in the Air Force, Jay would be so fucked. His career, his life, his entire self would never be the same if his father had a say. That was difficult to explain, especially to someone who had never met the man. But Alex heard it loud and clear when he first met the General and he said, “Manes? I served with your grandpa. Good man.”

He could never be safe and queer here.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially not here, not now,” Alex said softly. Jay’s smile dropped and Alex’s heart ached in its wake.

“A,” Jay said, shaking his head, “You said once DADT was gone, we could‒”

“The stigma is still there. We’ll still be targeted and I don’t want that for you, for either of us.”

“Fuck them!”

“That’s not how this works,” Alex said calmly, “These are people we have to fight beside, you can’t make them hate who you are and you can’t not care what they think.”

“I love you,” Jay said desperately, trying to get him to understand how much he didn’t care about anything else. Alex felt his mouth go dry and his eyes widened. “Look, if it’s that bad, let’s leave when our contract is up. I wanna be with you more than I want to be some fucking war hero.” 

“I…” Alex said, clearing his throat as he took a step back, “I’m not leaving the Air Force. I’m not coming out. I’m sorry.”

“Are you serious, right now?” Jay demanded. The hurt was clear on his face and Alex felt so fucking bad. But it wasn’t an option. “So what was all that shit you told me, huh? Just stuff to keep me around so your dick had something better than your hand?”

Alex didn’t know what to say, so instead he said nothing. Jay shook his head and sniffled and suggested that he leave. So Alex left.

The Colonel ended up telling Jay that his sister, a strong willed woman slowly climbing the ranks in the army, had committed suicide. He left after his term was up.

Alex thought about him more than he would ever admit. 

.First Pride.

 “Do you think I look too gay?”

“I am going to destroy that thought process one day. One day.”

Alex rolled his eyes, but Forrest grinned over his shoulder and dragged his hands over his hips and it was hard to be annoyed. Forrest was kind and supportive and brought a side of Alex out that he thought had been long buried. It made him feel a little bit better, a little bit stronger. Something was still missing, but he wasn’t scared anymore.

“But to answer your question, no, you don’t look ‘too gay’. Whatever that means,” Forrest said, “Even if you did, we’re literally going to a pride party so it doesn’t matter.”

“I don’t want your friends to think I’m weird.”

“Alex, all of my friends are queer. All of them. You will be the only straight-passing one there.”

“Straight-passing? That’s a thing?”

“You have so much to learn.”

Alex rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. Forrest just pressed a kiss to his neck before putting his hands on his shoulders, trying to massage out the tension. Alex didn’t think it would work. He was nervous to be so… out there. Sure, he kissed Forrest in the Wild Pony, but that was different. He was high on adrenaline. This was real and prolonged.

This was going to a gay bar with a man on his arm.

He spent a lot of time trying to decipher what exactly out was for him. Was it screaming from the rooftops or was it just being comfortable in his skin? He still wasn’t quite sure. For right now, though, he could try screaming from the rooftops. Forrest seemed to like it and, well, it was better than hiding.

As they made their way towards Planet 7, Alex felt himself get even more anxious. He was so fucking terrified that he was going to do something wrong, that he was going to embarrass himself. He still was trying to comprehend the difference between being too gay and not gay enoguh, where he fit on that scale, if it mattered. 

Forrest said it didn’t matter, but then he would start talking about shit Alex had never even heard of and he suddenly felt like he was bad at being queer. There were so many words he didn’t know, so much he had to learn about not only being a gay man, but the other people who were LGBT+ and the history behind it. It was almost overwhelming. Fascinating, though.

“Hey,” Forrest said as he walked up to a table. It was four of Forrest’s friends, all having colorful hair and having pride-themed makeup. Alex tried not to feel so out of place or envious. He had a feeling that if he met people like this back in high school, he would’ve become someone a lot different. It was hard being the only punk one in Roswell. 

“This must be the boyfriend,” one of Forrest’s friends said. Alex gave a smile and shrugged as Forrest led him to sit beside him at the table. “I’m Em, I use they/them pronouns.”

“I’m Casey, Em’s girlfriend, I use she/they.”

“Ryan, he/him.”

“And I’m Sophie and I use ‘em all.”

Alex hesitantly looked over Forrest for guidance. He just gave an encouraging smile and nodded towards them as if he didn’t feel out of place as it was. But he was willing to try.

“I’m Alex, I use he/him, I guess,” he said. He felt like he was back in basic, starting from scratch on how to interact with people. He didn’t wanna fuck up.

“I may have told them you needed a solid introduction of everyone,” Forrest laughed. Alex tried to laugh a little too and definitely did a lot better once he got some alcohol in his system.

For the next couple hours, Alex mainly listened to them talk, but he wasn’t bored. It was a nice change of pace. No aliens or government conspiracies. Instead, they spoke of politics and movies and books and people. They invited Alex to go with them the next weeked when they planned to give supplies to homeless people (something they did regularly) and tend to the community garden they’d started to supply people who needed it with free food. They didn’t seem to mind that he was learning the proper language or the way to act, they welcomed him with open arms because he was trying to learn. It made it so much easier to relax.

But then Isobel and Michael walked in.

They didn’t approach him, but they waved and he waved back. After a few too many minutes of wondering how the hell Isobel got Michael here, Alex offered to go buy the next round of drinks. He went to stand by them as he did so.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Isobel teased. Alex gave her a warm smile and then did the same to Michael. He looked a little tired, but he was able to smile back easily. 

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” Alex said before ordering the drinks, “Shocked you got Guerin all the way out here.”

“I’m trying something new,” Michael said. Alex nodded.

“I feel that. So am I.”

“How does it feel to be out? I’m loving it,” Isobel said. Alex snorted.

“I know you are,” he said, “But it looks good on you, all the confidence and ‘fuck you’ attitude. Suits you.”

“Speaking of, I’m going to go work on getting laid,” Isobel sighed happily, turning on her seat and heading to where people were congregating and celebrating most. And then there were two. 

“What about you?” Michael asked.

“Hmm?”

“You said all the being out looks good on Isobel. What about yourself?” Michael said, staring at him like he really wanted an answer. Alex licked his lips and thought about it, looking over to where Forrest and his friends were laughing.

“I don’t think I know yet,” Alex admitted, “I’m still trying to figure out what that even means to me, you know? Like Isobel and Forrest, they like that it’s known from the moment someone sees them. And it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just…”

“Invasive,” Michael noted. Alex nodded.

“Yeah. But it’s better than hiding, so I think it’s good for me.”

“I’m happy for you,” Michael told him and he sounded sincere even as he sipped his virgin daiquiri. Alex smiled.

“Thank you.”

Alex took the drinks back to the table and fit himself back into the conversation. Another couple hours went by before it was nearing its way towards midnight and they decided it was time to go home. They said their goodbyes and nice-to-meet-yous before going their separate ways.

“You were uncomfortable.”

“Huh?”

Alex turned to Forrest who had happily agreed to stay sober to drive while Alex drank to release the tension. The night sky was full of stars and the moon was full and Forrest was smiling, but it didn’t make sense with his words.

“Tonight. Being there made you uncomfortable. Was it the crowd? The rainbows? Just overwhelming in general? Talk to me,” Forrest pressed. Alex licked his lips and shifted in his seat.

“I-I think I’m more of a private person, I guess,” he tried, hoping his words didn’t come off as offensive, “It’s nice being out and proud, but… I guess I still don’t feel like me.”

“You know there’s a middle ground, right?” Forrest said. Alex gave him his full attention, eager to hear about what that might look like. “It’s your business, Alex. Not showing it always doesn’t mean you’re hiding.”

“I guess.”

“Some people that’s who they are, you know? It’s not a bad thing, it’s just who they are, it’s who I am. Our personalities are loud and that part of us shines through. You don’t have to force yourself to be bigger than you are to be queer enough. As long as you feel like yourself then it doesn’t fucking matter,” Forrest said. Alex gave him a confused smile.

“But I thought you said‒”

“Well, maybe I was wrong,” Forrest admitted. Alex relaxed more than he had in awhile. “That was before I got to know you and your past and before I understood that being private didn’t mean you were ashamed. I don’t want you forcing yourself to be someone you’re not for me. You can be Alex Manes, war hero who happens to be gay. You don’t have to be Alex Manes, gay war hero.”

Alex closed his eyes and smiled to himself, feeling better than he had in a long time.

Maybe he could just be him.

.Forever.

“Holy fuck, what did you take?”

“Um, antidepressants?”

A shocked laugh bubbled out of Michael and Alex smiled in response, propping his head up on his hand as he stared at the man he was going to spend his life with. He was all laid out after what honestly could’ve been two hours of fucking outside‒Alex wasn’t sure, he wasn’t really focused on the clock‒and he was in a blissful, sweaty daze. It was one of Alex’s many favorite sights.

After about a year of living in town together and talking about what they wanted to do, the two of them made the unanimous decision to fully renovate Jim Valenti’s hunting cabin and make that their permanent residence. Sure, the drive was a pain, but everything else made it worth it. They had all the privacy in the world to do things like fuck on the daybed Isobel insisted putting on their back porch the minute they mentioned building a pool.

“Aren’t antidepressants supposed to make you less sexually active or something?” Michael asked, slowly regaining his strength and using it to reach for Alex.

“I mean, it’s a common side effect, but I’ve only had that problem a couple times,” Alex admitted, sinking back into the daybed to press a kiss to his sweaty chest. Michael wrapped his arms around him and Alex found himself smiling even wider.

If someone had told him five years ago that he would be happily engaged to Michael Guerin, he would’ve laughed. He never saw himself being in a place where he felt comfortable enough to be in a loving, committed, serious relationship. Every other time, it was so easy to hide‒whether that be hiding in himself or from himself. Michael was the only one who seemed to be on the same wavelength.

It just took him awhile to get there.

“God, I fucking love you,” Michael groaned, squeezing him so tight that Alex couldn’t help but smile so wide it hurt his cheeks. He accepted the kisses that doused his face. 

“I love you too.”

Alex tilted his head up to meet him in a kiss, one leading to another until they were slipping into a lazy makeout session. They would eventually have to get up, clean off, get dress, act like useful members of society, but wasn’t it so much fun to do nothing but enjoy each other?

They were over 30. They’d wasted their 20s being confused and lost and sad and now they were grown ass men and they’d both refused to waste their lives being so miserable. A little bit of therapy and self-inspection had made it clear they just needed to work a bit harder to make that possible. Apparently, they had very similar hangups.

So they adjusted to make things work. Michael assured Alex that he was enough all the time, doting on him in a way that Alex craved and needed so he wouldn’t second guess himself. Alex made sure to always keep Michael in the loop even if it felt stupid, a small but difficult change to make sure Michael never felt like he was going to be left behind. They always let each other know where they were, who they were with, what they were doing. It wasn’t about control, it was about comfort. They’d gone too many years not knowing. It was so much easier to know.

“I was thinkin’ about our wedding,” Michael whispered, breaking the endless string of kisses. Alex smiled at the word. He never in a million year saw himself getting married. But, damn, might as well. “What if we did it in that big church in the middle of Roswell?”

“You wanna get married in a church?” Alex laughed. Michael ran his hand over his chest.

“I mean, not really, but I think it’d be super fucking funny. Besides, wouldn’t that make us the first queer couple to get married inside Roswell lines? That’d be fuckin’ hilarious.”

“Oh, you want our wedding to be funny?”

“I mean, yeah,” Michael admitted. Alex laughed softly and shook his head. “I know you don’t like big stuff like that, but c’mon. We could laugh about it with our grandchildren.”

Alex smiled even bigger and pushed himself up to give him another kiss. Wedding, grandchildren, fiance. He got to use those words all for himself. Wasn’t that wild?

“Okay, let’s do it. Our wedding pictures can have us flipping off everyone.”

“See?” Michael said, “You get it.”

A few more kisses later, they eventually decided to be grownups and they pulled themselves to their feet to go inside and clean up, make dinner, take care of themselves. Everything felt so easy. Sure, bad days came still and arguments still happened, but Alex was happy.

It turns out, while his goal had always been to just be able to relax, the real happy ending was freedom.

And, with Michael, he was free.

[divine0]

elaborate on danger days being your favorite album lyrically? (sorry this is worded like a saq lmao)

elaborate i will </3

okay so a few main things that i love about danger days so much is 1) that its a concept album, because when an album is telling a story, im so much more interested and invested in it than i am if its jus an album ab things in someones life/emotions (thats why im so drawn 2 mcr in general, but this albums the most plot driven album.) n 2) because it has these fast paced lyrics where it sounds like gerard is jus spewing word vomit, but what theyre saying is so important 2 me

under the cut theres a track by track of my favorite lyrics/why cause why not

1 - look alive, sunshine

this song is a great opener bc it right away pulls you in2 the kj world n youre tuned in2 dr ds radio station!! you get 2 learn a little kj terms like crash queen n motorbaby n idk this song is jus a great opener 2 an album! i rlly like the way that they wrote dr d 2 speak bc it feels real 2 a certain extent thats nice. 

they say it better than me. 

2 - na na na 

okay. lyrically this song is very image based (i think thats how 2 describe it anyway.) you have all these kinda one liners that flow 2geter n give the new story of the album volume (h a h a l i k e t h e k i l l j-) n give a little peekabo in2 the lives of all the killjoys! i especially like the bridge for this reason bc you learn about bat city n bli n them using lills 2 control ppl, n how the whole point of dd is 2 rebel against conformity. so idk. besides the first few lines this song is incredible. 

3 - bulletproof heart

ok. this song is rlly neat n important 2 me bc of the guitar n the energy n the colors n shit, but not rlly the lyrics. the lyrics are cool though, dont get me wrong, i love how, again how the words are going fast n right at you. I esp like the “im shooting out this room cause i sure dont like the company” bc again its making the concept so much more all around than some far away thing 2 write a few pretty lines about. i also like the term “in a bullets embrace” because it makes this painful thing seem nice n i like that. idk. neat song. oh! The lyric “so get me out of my head, cause its getting kinda cramped you know is a mood. 

4 - sing 

ok. theres a lot of things lyrically that i love about this album n im Going 2 talk about them but first, i love how all the lines have the same pattern. like its a “sing it (for the)[thing]” like every line n im not compiling!! sometimes it makes me cry!! another thing i rlly like is the lyric “youve got 2 make the choice if the music drowns you out, and raise your voice every single time they try and shut your mouth.” cause like??? that makes me so emotional???? idk. ALSO!!!!! THE MOTHERFUCKING BRIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!! its so, its so bold and loud and its proving the whole point of rebellion against bli and what it means 2 be a killjoy but its also a huge metaphor for being pushed in2 a space you dont fit and damn. i jus love the line “i refuse 2 answer, talk about the past, sir, wrote it for the ones who want 2 get away” bc it makes me feel ~safe~

5 - planetary go! 

speedy man talking about songs speedily!!!! i love it!!!!!!!!!!! i like how it casts the killjoys in the light where theyre like “fuck bli lets write a banger” which i love so so much. theres also that part in the third verse i think that goes “my word is the beretta, the sound of my vendetta, against the ones who planned it” n im like!! speak your truth gerard!!!!!! but also at the same time this song makes absolutely no sense 2 me, and thats what makes me adore it even more. 

6 - the only hope for me is you 

ok this one isnt the best lyrically, but its kind of nice 2 see this side of the killjoys that isnt all “lets revolt so we can be colorful n cool!” it shows that theres pain behind this movement, and that its built on that pain and trying 2 make it better. the whole chorus is showing that like even through this pain, you have 2 cling on 2 your friends n that idk. cute song. 

7 - jet star and the kobra kid 

rip to jet n kobra. its cool that you learn terms like clap, exterminator, ghosted, dusted, idk i like these little intermissions. 

8 - party poison 

ok!! pov your brother jus died n youre about 2 tell the worl how cool you think you are /j. i rlly like the japanese lines throughout the song, cause its jus this guy thats like “the world ending, fucking dance!” n gerard is like “get off the dance floor.” this is a kind of song that has no real punch-you-in-the-jaw lines compared to scarecrow or some shit but its the kind of thing like na na na where each line carries you 2 the next n it keeps the story flowing, painting a beautiful mental picture while listening 2 it. also this song is hot pink n smells like hair dye. 

9 - save yourself ill hold them back 

FAVORITE LYRICS ON THE ALBUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS ONES THE KICKER!!!!!!!!!!! its not even that they lyrics are rlly deep (but arent they?) theyre jus so so so visual and fast and sexy as hell. god,,, this song. ok. so.

fucking WHAT?? you spew all of that out n it jus makes my stupid little brain go in circles i love it so so so much. not only does it have the best imagery attached 2 it but its handling the concept of death and dying and loss in such a way that makes me swoon and i love it. idk its great. n then theres the chorus!! “we can leave this world! leave it all behind! we can steal this car if your folks dont mind! we can live forever if youve got the time!” i love that last line especially because it has this kind of taunting 2 it that i love ab the kj world.

n then theres this verse!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!! i cant explain how much i love this song it jus makes me feel comfy and sexy and bold n free n idk i jus adore that bullets/revenge/bp handle death in one way that makes it seem like its your neighbor next door your a little scared of but danger days treats death like its jus another zone runner n i love it so much. that was definitely a run on im sorry. ig i jus really like the visual picture i get from this song. esp with lines like “im the only friend that makes you cry, youre a heart attack in black hair dye.” bc its my gender. (half joking but,, then again) n also “youre the broken glass in morning light, be a burning star if it takes all night” bc it makes this song feel like idk like im a part of what theyre doing. ok im gonna stop talking ab this song sorry. i love it though </3

10 - scarecrow

ok. this ones the kicker. this ones the one that makes me cry. theres so many parts, the first verse is nice. this song is jus what heartbreak feels like and the words make me feel safe but also sad at the same time i love it so much. n the whole verses,,,, they make me feel like theres someone there patting me on my back telling me it will be finelike this is showing the softer side of the killjoys. 

that yes theyre all razor sharp edges and glamorous killing, but scarecrow shows the lost innocence and the need to find those people and keep them close and thats beautiful. also you learn what a scarecrow is! cool! 

11 - summertime 

this one i dont have much 2 say about, but i think its a sweet lil love song!! ofc its more than *just a love song, but thats the importance its struck 2 me. theres a few lines i rlly like “and if you stay, i would even wait all night, or until my heart explodes” bc its relatable as hell. its like loving someone so much that it hurts which i Understand. and this? 

yeah no thinks jus verse 2 of summertime

12 - destroya 

okay. okay. i know that destroya is coined in the fandom as the “anti capitalist anthem” bc of like one phrase, but they are some cool lyrics. but i wanna talk about the ones right b4 them that go “im sick, down from the bones to the other side, red-mob, we insects hide, king rat on the streets in another life, they laugh, we don't think it's funny” because 1) gerard i have no clue wtf youre talking about n 2) cool!!! there are some phrases in this album that jus Sound Cool n sometimes thats all it takes 2 win me over! im not a man of acquired tastes! but! if were talking cool lyrics the shit behind the chorus the last time make me shake my ass i love it so much. the uh “you show me what youve got, you children of the gun, dont hide and we dont run” im like. i think i Will show you what ive got jsjksak. idk this song is rlly important 2 me its jus cool

13 - the kids from yesterday 

this one isnt my fav of the album at all, but it has a few cool lines that i really like! “they only care if you can bleed” i think that line is referencing the kj comics bc theres a line where i think cherri cola says 2 the girl “bli only listens when you speak in burn holes and body counts.” it seem slike that hopelessness that people wont care what you have 2 say unless your destroying a part of you 2 make it perfect. cute. in the same vein i like the next lyric “does the television make you feel the pills you ate?” which i feel like is a nod at national anthem bc the way bt global controlled people was through pills n tv. also in the bridge “here we are and we wont stop breathing, yell it out til your heart stops breathing is so so so important 2 me. those lyrics,,, they fuck me up i love them. 

14 - goodnight dr death 

gnight dr d i hope you sleep well. ew the national anthem. 

15 - vampire money 

ok. imagine how powerful thi album wouldve been if they had said their kj names instead of their real ones in the intro. that wouldve put in2 the perfect setting, and be the perfect closer 2 an album. also speaking of this being a closer, this ones so powerful??? like not jus cause of the instrumentals, but the lyrics are so strong and jus carry the idea of this album all the way 2 the end. its perfect i love. this song feels like when youre in a pool but you have sunscreen on your legs and our rubbing them 2gether, yknow? n  the verses has the same effect on me as party poison. these 2 songs feel like theyre dating n its rlly nice. idk theyre cool.

tl;dr i really like how this album is visually written and i think the lyrics are neat

[a-sweet-violent-urge]

Michael Jackson

Yeah, I know, I know what state the world is in right now but trust me, this post has been a long time coming. I just never got around to write it. And I’m sitting down to do it now because I’ve been locked at home for a week so I guess it’s now or never. 

One look at my blog will tell you that I very rarely post personal stuff on here. I just reblog things and sometimes express opinions about my fav shows but that’s it. But I’m gonna get personal now.

I guess now’s the time to point out that I’m also not the most eloquent person around so to anyone reading, this might seem a bit all over the place, you’ve been warned. 

The last few months have been really hard for me and my family. My father died last December. I still can’t wrap my head around it. I was used to not having him around at home, he was always working, you know, to bring money home, and now.. I ... I think of him as not home, not gone. Don’t know if that makes sense. You’re probably wondering what does this have to do with Michael Jackson? I’ll get to that, be patient with me. 

Anyone who really knows me, and to be honest this is not a lot of people, I’m introverted, knows that listening to music is how I deal with things. I remember being a senior in high school, we were doing a speaking exercise in my English class, and my teacher asked us what influenced us the most in life, like, what helped shape our view on life and the world.  When it was my turn to answer, I said that it was music and the artists I listened to. The rest of the group (I’m saying group not class for a reason, but I don’t want to go into that much detail) probably thought it was weird, they talked about their friends and family. But this was the truth for me. It still is. The music I listen to (along with the books I read) is what has influenced me the most in life, it’s what made me the person I am today. This is the reason why I’ve always hated talking about music, my favorite music has always been something very personal to me. I’ve always hated the question who’s your favorite artist. People would think it’s an easy one to answer but it’s not, not to me

This is where I start to talk about Michael. He was one of those artists (who influenced me) but I only realize that now, in retrospect. Actually, around the time I answered that question, the artists I meant were 30STM, or Linkin Park, MCR or whatever the hell I listened to back then. 

I think the first time I listened to MJ intentionally was sadly after he died. I was born in September 1994, so I was not 15 yet. Up until that point, MJ was just a name in my head. I knew he was a singer, I knew what he looked like (’cause who didn’t or doesn’t), I know what he was very famous (though I had no idea why), I had heard songs, of course, though I didn’t really realize they were MJ songs. And despite all of that, me not knowing basically anything about him, I remember how hard his death hit me. I don’t know why. I felt like my fav artist had died, I felt like I had lost someone. To this day I can’t explain to myself why. I remember in what room I was when I heard the news. I watched the memorial and cried my eyes out. 

After that, I decided to listen to his music. I listened to a lot of it and for a month or two, (or probably more, I don’t really remember) I listened mostly to him. I learnt more and more things about him. Like, about his philanthropic work, about the allegations (I’ll talk about that later), actually I remember being like 10 and watching the trial being covered on the news here. Songs like The way you make me feel, Dirty Diana, Give into me quickly became my favorites. But I remember the first times I heard Man in the Mirror, Earth song, Heal the Word, We are the World. And especially Man in the Mirror. The lyrics If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change had become like my motto in life and I didn’t even realise it until the past few months. I realized that often when I had to make a choice about something, those lyrics would pop up in my head. When I saw or read something about the environmental problems that we’re facing, Earth song ended up popping in my head. Yeah, MJ had helped shape my view on certain things and I didn’t even know then.

After my 2009 MJ phase, I hardly ever listened to him. I would listen to some songs from time to time when the mood struck me, but that was it. 

Fast forward to October/November 2019. I was on YT and I ended up listening to some MJ songs., it was one of those times when the mood struck me, and I was going through the comment section (as I always do) while listening, and I noticed people commenting about .. a certain documentary. I don’t even want to say its name. So I was like what the fuck has happened and I looked it up. My initial reaction was seriously, this again?

Ok, I’ll go back to 2009 for a bit. When I got into MJ 11 years ago, as I mentioned earlier, I read about the allegations, I remembered even seeing it on the news as I said. But he was found not guilty. It was good enough for me. I didn’t think much about it. I didn’t care much about it. Plus he had just died. Nobody had one bad word to say about him. Ironic, huh? Also, I couldn’t do research even if I wanted to. I was young, I didn’t really speak English that well, and honestly, in the last few months I realized that when it comes to Michael Jackson, the truth is buried under so many false stories and dare I say, blatant lies, that you need an excavator to dig it out. I’m putting this in bold, in case a none MJ fan reads this, if you want to find the truth, know what you’re getting yourself into. Anyway, I couldn’t even fully appreciate some songs, because you need context to fully understand them, and I didn’t have that context then. 

Fast forward to 2019 again. So I found out about you-know-what and I started reading about it and watching videos, educating myself on the matter. In other words, I had gone down the rabbit hole. But it was not just that what sparked my interest in Michael. I noticed something. Something many people were writing in the comment section of different. Michael was an angel. Michael is/was love. What would have Michael done (about whatever) if he was alive? I was like what?! Look, I have spend my life fangirling over different celebrities and I had never seen people saying things like that. And this was the moment, I asked myself the question, why was this person so famous and so loved by so many people from all over the world? Why HIM? Yes, he was immensely talented but that applies to a lot of artists. So why Michael? Now I know why. If you’re a fan reading this, you know why, too. If you’re not, go figure it out on your own. 

It’s funny how a movie filled with not even clever lies, made so Michael’s name could one more time be run through the dirt, made me his fan (ugh, I hate that word, I almost feel like it has a negative connotation nowadays). Made me more than just a fan. If you remember, I started this post by saying that my father passed away in December. It all happened very fast, in less then 3 months, he wasn’t sick and then he was, and then, before we even knew it, he was gone. I was in the room when he died. So you see in what period of my life Michael’s music entered my life again. In a period when I needed a little light, something to keep the faith. In those months (and even now, more than 3 months later) Michael’s art was my lifeline. Keep the faith, Gone too soon, Had enough, Will you be there, Little Susie and so on. 

Here are some lyrics that really hit me hard

The feeling of terror she felt as a youth Has turned from a fantasy into the truth (Scared of the moon)

I drowned my pain in his music. His love, his kindness and generosity reminded me of my purpose in life. I won’t go into details about what I experienced because this already got more personal than I’m comfortable with. Plus, my vocabulary is not good enough to do it justice. I’ll finish with this. I’m in complete awe of him and the things he did. Like, yesterday I found out he made a song about sign language. Seeing voices. 

So, that’s my MJ story. I hope it’s comprehensible, you don’t know how hard it was for me to put this into a somewhat coherent narrative. But I really needed to get it off my chest. I probably missed some things that I wanted to say, if I think of something more, I’ll add an edit.

By the way, as you can see, I’m new to the MJ community and I’d love to make some friends, so feel free to message me. 

[spideyy-girl]

Training ~ Richie Tozier

Requested by anon: Hey, first of all, LOVED the Richie imagine and I love the fact that you write for The Umbrella Academy. My sister likes MCR and got me into that show and I love it! Anyways, I’d like to request a Richie x Reader with 9, and 21 I think? It’s: “I hate you” “Love you too, darling” and: “Sometimes I wonder how I fell in love with you” Or something. Anyways, thank you love!

9: “sometimes I wonder how I fell in love with you”

28: “I hate you” “love you too, darling”

Summary: Richie wants to play at the arcade but Y/N wants to sleep in and some things are said.

Fandom: IT (2017)

Warnings: lots of swearing (this IS a Richie fic), love confession, cringey writing

Word Count: 1984 (5.3 pages)

Date: May 10, 2019

A/N: Ok this took way too long, and I am so so sorry about that. I was having major writing block but I’m feeling back on my game again now. Also, the new IT Ch2 trailer has me sCrEaMiNg.

Y/N laid on her stomach in her bed, head borrowed into her pillows as soft snores left the girls slightly open mouth, a small wet spot of drool forming on her pillow. The sun shone brightly through her large window beside her bed, birds chirping loudly on the branches just outside her window, yet she slept on. Today was the first day summer vacation, and the teenage girl was more than happy to sleep in until past noon like she currently was.

Well, that was the original plan. But suddenly she feels cold water crashing down onto her mess of hair and down her back, startling the girl awake as she sits up straight in her bed. She rubs the sleep out of her eyes to see what caused the chaos, only to see one of her closest friends, Richie Tozier, standing at the side of her bed, a wide smirk on his face as he holds back his laughter.

"What the fuck, Richard?" She almost screams as she quickly throws the covers off of her and getting out of her bed. At this point, Richie's smirk had only grown wider, putting the now empty glass on her bedside table and leaning against the wall, pushing op his glasses as he examined her.

"You weren't answering my calls," said Richie simply, shrugging his shoulder. "So I thought I might pay you a visit to see what was so important to be ignoring your favourite person in the world." He smiled at her as she stopped and just stared at him in disbelief. After glaring at him for a few seconds, she shook her head and went over to her closet to find something to wear that wasn't completely soaked. 

"How the hell did you even get in here?" She asked as she pulled out a shirt and signalled for the boy to turn around sh=o she could change, which he did after some silent arguing. 

"Easy. You hide a key under the mat in front of your house," he says, still facing the wall. "You should probably move that to a safer place, you know. That's like the most simple place to keep a spare key."

"Just shut up," Y/N said as she turned Richie around to face her again once she changed into a new outfit that didn't consist of fuzzy pyjama pants. "What do you want?"

"Training starts today!" He says, hitting her shoulder and looking at her like she was dumb. The look was given right back to him as she sighs and walks out of her room and downstairs, Richie following close behind.

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" She asks as she goes into the kitchen and takes out two bowls and starts pouring cereal into both of them. "You woke me up over this bullshit? What do you mean by training?" She pours in the milk and grabs two spoons, putting one in each bowl and handing the cereal to Richie, who gladly accepted it and started chomping down.

"Street Fighter, duh," he says as he chews on his cereal. Y/N grabs his free hand and puts it in front of his mouth, telling him to "cover up your mouth, that's disgusting." to which Richie only rolled his eyes back as a response, but kept his hand held up. "C'mon, Y/N. I told you about this literally yesterday. You said you'd come to the ar ade with me cause the guys are ditching me!"

Y/N groans as she slams down her bowl of cereal, some of the milk splashing out of the little bowl. "Rich, it's the first day of summer! I was supposed to sleep the entire day away. You know my sleeping schedule has been shit for months."

Richie looked down, starting to feel bad for waking her up. It was true, ever since the kids in Derry started disappearing, starting with one of their best friends little brothers, Y/N hasn't been able to get out of her head. She has told him that she was getting usually less than 3 hours of sleep per night, and it only got worse from there. Richie sighed, and looked back up, making eye contact with her beautiful Y/E/C orbs. 

"Alright, let's crack a deal then," he says, his voice sounding not so cocky anymore. "We go to the arcade, and you battle me on Street Fighter. And if you manage to beat me, we'll go home and sleep for the rest of the day."

"Richie, that's so unfair!" she says, throwing her arms up before putting them back down to her sides. "You know I'm shit at Street Fighter! I'm shit at all video games!" He smiled at her, grabbing her hand and dragging her out the door.

"Yeah, trust me I know," he says as he goes to grab her bike for her and hands it off to her as he gets on his own. "And that is exactly why we need to do some training! You'll be the best Street Fighter out there by the end of the summer!" Y/N groans as she gets on her own bike, buckling her helmet.

"You know what Richie, I hate you," she says as the pair starts peddling off the driveway and onto the street, making their way to the arcade. Richie looks over to the girl he's known for as long as he can remember and smiles at the all too familiar phrase.

"Love you too, darling," he replies, just as he always does whenever she says that too him. Y/N can't help the smile that stretches across her face, wondering if one day maybe he would say that to her without the sarcasm behind it. 

Y/N had to admit that she had a little crush on the four-eyed boy. Well, that would be an underexagguration. Y/N had practically been in love with the boy riding down the street beside her for almost two years now. It started as a small crush in 5th grade, but young Y/N quickly dismissed it, remembering her other small crush on Stanley just a few months before and that was still slightly present. But as weeks turned into months, and months turned into years, Y/N had to admit to herself that this was more than just a slight infatuation. 

Soon enough, the teens had made their way to the arcade, the bright neon sign flickering the words 'Derry's Best Arcade!'. They walked in and firstly got a slushie from the counter and some tokens to spend on the Street Fighter game. Once they were set with extra large slushies in their hands and a solo cup full to the brim of tokens, they started on their so-called "training" as Richie called it earlier. They were in the dimmed arcade for at least an hour and a half, but neither of them were really keeping track, both of them determined to win. Y/N wanted to win so she could get back into her comfy bed as soon as possible, while Richie was continuing to win to make sure that didn't happen, and he could spend more time with the girl.

After three-fourths of the tokens in the cup have been used up Y/N groaned and started walking away from the machine, pacing back and forth through the aisles of other games. "This is useless, Richie!" she yelled at him once she came back to stand next to him. "It feels like I'm only getting worse at this stupid game! Why did I even agree to come here with you! This is so dumb!"

"Hey, calm down," says Richie, grabbing her shoulders in a way to try and calm her down. "Don't worry about it, Y/N. It's about having fun!"

"Well, I was having plenty of fun before, IN MY BED, where I wanted to be!" she yells back, the sleep deprivation starting to get to her head, quite literally and giving her headaches. "God, sometimes I wonder how I fell in love with you," she says, still not thinking straight, and quickly covering her mouth and squeezing her eyes shut once she realizes what she said. Richie only watched the girl, his mocking face falling clean off to an unreadable one, something Y/N has never seen on the boy.

"Y-you love me?" he asks, his voice going so quiet that the other sounds of the arcade almost drowned it out, but she somehow still heard him. She felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. "oh fuck oh fuck, what did I do?!" she thinks to herself. She tries to cover up by laughing, her head facing down so he couldn't see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Yeah, of course silly," she says, trying to act casual. "We've discussed this. I love you and Bill and Eddie and Stan-"

"I don't think that's what you meant," he said as he walks closer to her. "And I know that's definitely not what I meant." he stands right in front of her now, hoping she would look up at him and tell him the truth he wanted to hear. But all he got was hearing the small sniffles coming from her, and he knew she was starting to cry. He took her arm gently and brought her outside, bringing her down to sit on the curb. "Hey, baby, please can you talk to me?" he asks quietly. Y/N was shocked by his tone of voice, Richie was never soft with anyone, and it was odd hearing this side of him.

"I'm sorry, Richie," she whispers, still not being able to look up at him. She didn't want him to see her like this, and she knew she couldn't face him after her confession. "Can we just forget this ever happened? I didn't want to say anything because I don't want to ruin our friendship. I can't lose you."

Richie reaches up and grabs her chin, forcing her head up to look at him. He could feel his heart break as he saw her already red puffy eyes. He gave her a soft smile. "You could never ruin our friendship. Besides, you didn't even ask me how I felt?" He suggests, his famous smirk growing back onto his face as he looks back at the girl. She laughs, shaking her head.

"I really don't think I want to do that," she says, biting her lip.

"Trust me, I think you'll want to hear what I have to say," he says to her, smiling still. After a moment of silence, in which Richie realized she wasn't going to say anything, he spoke for himself. "I love you too, Y/N. Like, a lot." This caught Y/N's attention, looking up at him in surprise, her mouth falling open slightly. He laughs at her, using his index finger to reach up and close her mouth. "Don't keep your mouth open, darling, you'll catch flies." Y/N can't help but laugh, shaking her head. Suddenly she flew herself at the boy and engulfed him into a hug. He could only smile as he wrapped his arms around, his grin widening as he felt her put her head into the crook of his neck.

"Thank you, Richie, for everything," she mumbled into his neck as he laughed and pulled away, still holding her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, doll," he says, his old demeanour coming back as he helped her up. "Now, let's forget about Street Fighter. I'm starting to think an all day nap isn't that bad." He smiled as she laughed. So the two head back home and crawled under the still damp covers of the girl's single bed, and as promised they slept the whole day away.

[latestageyouth]

When you walk away (Nothing more to say)

chapter 7 -  hey guys did you know mcr is back together?

trigger warnings: sympathetic Remus and Deceit, mentions of shoplifting, mentions of getting arrested, hangover, Remus makes a joke about rape (but not rape victims), mentions of a party, swearing (let me know if I missed something)

summary: Damon doesn't ask you to dinner he asks you to rob seven eleven with him uwu

Banging on the door woke Damon up, making him groan. He rubbed his eyes, barely following what Avery said as they opened it.

"Alright, bud, I have a day shift today, so I won't be home. You can order pizza when you get home, there's money on the fridge. Now get up, you're gonna be late for school," they didn't wait for Damon to process what they just said before walking out of the room and putting on their shoes.

Damon, although reluctantly, rolled out of bed and went to put some clothing on...oh, guess he fell asleep in his clothes already. When did he even fall asleep? When did he get home? God, his head hurts, don't tell him he's hungover again. He swears he didn't drink anything this time...right? Whatever, it's not like it matters. What matters now is finding some painkillers.

He stumbled into the kitchen, physically wincing at the bright light going in through the windows. He opened the cabinet where Avery put all the meds. Painkillers, painkillers...painkillers! It doesn't even sound like a real word anymore, but hey, he found them! That's an accomplishment.

Damon didn't even think about getting water, swallowing it dry. He looked at the clock, he still has time, it's fine. He shuffled back to his room, changing from his usual clothes to something that didn't reek of alcohol. He didn't want to give up his vest but he also didn't want to get suspended and add onto Avery's list of problems. He finally settled on his first patched jacket. Huh, it was still too big on him. It brought so many memories to wear it again. He didn't know to sew back then so he just pinned patches in place with safety pins, didn't even bother to sew them on when he actually learned to sew.

Forget all that, where is his phone? It's not in his pockets, so maybe somewhere in his room? Damon looked around the room...no sign of his phone, maybe the kitchen? he walked back to look. Nothing on the counters, nor the table. Damon looked around the house, searching even the bathroom, but found nothing. Don't tell him he left it at that house party, Avery will kill him.

Well, forget all that now, maybe Remus picked it up when he left. Was Remus even there with him? Who was he kidding, of course he was, Remus was always there when Damon needed him. Nevermind that, to get to Remus Damn needed to get to school first.

The bus ride was louder than normal, but that was most likely because of the hungover. Damon already knew this was gonna be a long day the moment he stepped out of the door, and it was not getting better. He paid no attention to the few people who did stare at him as he walked into the school, instead looking around for Remus...if he's not somewhere in the hallway he's probably in one of the bathrooms. Luckily Damon found him in the first bathroom he stepped in, writing profanities on the stall door, "Thought you were over that in Sophmore year."

Remus smirked, slowly turning his head to look at Damon, "Well, it's always fun to go back and ignore reali-holy shit man you look like shit."

Damon raised an eyebrow, "You think I haven't noticed?"

"Nah, it's just that right now I look better than you and that never happened in my life," Remus put the black marker in his pocket, "Did someone rape you or something?"

The hungover man furrowed his eyebrows, "You weren't at the party?"

"There was a party?"

Damon sighed, "Nevermind," he leaned against one of the sinks, "Guess you don't have my phone then?" he reached into a pocket of his jacket but found no cigarettes, he must've forgotten them in his vest. Damon mentally cursed himself out for it.

"Nope, you lost it?" Damon nodded, at which Remus laughed, "Ha, loser."

Damon put his head in his hands and groaned, "Everything is so bright and painful," he dug his nails into his forehead.

"Thought I was the one with a drinking problem," Remus went to sit beside him. Before he could say anything else the bell rang, at which Damon flinched and covered his ears. Remus pushed himself off, "Welp, I'll be off, you comin'?"

Damon waved his hand dismissively, "Just...give me a few minutes."

Remus nodded, "Fair enough, you foxy snake," he pushed the door open before he could get a reaction. He wouldn't admit it but he was kind of disappointed that Damon didn't notice his hair, but he did have it in a bun, so he could forgive him for it. To be honest, Remus wasn't even sure that he walked into the right class but Virgil waving at him made him sure enough. He went to sit next to him, "Why hello there, darling, didn't see you there."

Virgil rolled his eyes, 'Where's D?'

"Probably jerking off in a bathroom for all I know, why?"

'I found his phone near a trash can on a street.'

Remus raised his eyebrows, "This is like the fourth phone you found on a street since we met, I have no idea how you find phones so easily but I want you to teach me."

Virgil smiled and shrugged. Truth be told, the two didn't pay much attention even after the lesson started, instead passing notes to each other instead of signing to avoid any suspicion. Geography wasn't their strongest or favourite subject. All of the class and the teacher turned their heads when the door opened.

"Sorry I'm late, I was attacked by a bear."

The teacher which Remus still didn't know the name of crossed her arms, "Honest as always, Mr. Barnes. Take a seat."

Damon went to sit behind Remus and Virgil. Remus turned around to face him, "Virgil has your phone."

"Let me guess, found it on a street?" Virgil nodded as Damon took the phone back, examining it. The yellow case with snakes on it was still intact, but the screen..."Fuck, Avery's gonna kill me."

After a while, Virgil passes him a note, 'Who's Avery?'

"Oh, they're my parent. They didn't really want to be called mom or dad, and parent seemed too formal."

An exaggerated cough interrupted their conversation, "Gentlemen, do you mind?"

Before Damon and Virgil could stop him, Remus responded to her, "Yeah, mind ya' own business."

The teacher gave Remus a blank look, "Why am I even surprised? That's detention for you, Mr. Addington," she went back to teaching.

Damon lowered his voice, "Great job, idiot," Remus just shrugged. You would think Virgil would stay out of this, but no, of course not. He passed Remus a note:

'press F to pay respects'

Remus wrote back to him:

'like u have any respect fr me'

Needless to say, not much has changed since the teacher gave him detention, it wasn't like Remus cared anyway. The lesson went the same, with the three passing notes around too much to not be obvious, but no one really cared enough to tell the teacher. Finally, after when seemed like an eternity, the bell rang and Remus practically sprinted out of the door.

"Woah, what's the rush?"

Remus continued to speed walk with the two, "I realized halfway through the lesson that I left my spray cans in the bathroom and if someone finds them I will have a mental breakdown because those are my last."

The two soon given up on trying to keep up with Remus, settling on a walking pace in a direction where they thought Remus had gone.

'What's with the jacket?'

"Didn't want to smell like an alcoholic," Virgil physically scrunched up his face and took a step back. Damon rolled his eyes, "It's not like I smell now, right?" Virgil shook his head, then looked around, "What?"

Virgil looked back at Damon, 'Where's Remus?'

"Who knows where that chaotic bastard is, probably pestering Roman or something," Damon shrugged, "He'll find us eventually, why bother."

Virgil nodded in agreement, raising his eyebrows.

"By the way, what's with his hair?"

Virgil rolled his eyes dramatically, 'So you noticed. He's been sad about it all day.'

"Oh?" Damon raised he eyebrow an smirked, "Does he have a crush on me or something?"

'It's Remus, you never know,' Virgil shuffled on his feet.

Damon slowly nodded, "Yeah, I guess so..." he looked away for a second, staring at the line of lockers, before averting his gaze back at Virgil. Why was he nervous? He out of all people shouldn't be nervous, "Avery's not home today, wanna come over?"

Virgil tilted his head slightly, 'Why?'

The other man scoffed playfully, "I dunno, isn't that what friends do and stuff? I mean, I do have another idea, but..." he looked at Virgil again, meeting the agitating stare, "There's this convenience store a few blocks from here and I have some beef with the owner, want to steal something?" the stare quickly turned into a panicked one.

'Shoplifting?'

Damon nodded.

'...Isn't that more of a Remus thing?'

He looked away, "Yeah, but Remus isn't allowed in that store anymore after The Freezer Accident of 2016."

Virgil raised his eyebrows, unsure if he wants to know what that is. After a while of thinking, and considering what Emile would do if his "precious stormcloud" ended up in jail. Can you go to jail for shoplifting if you're underage? Most likely. Has Remus or Damon ever been in jail? Now he's just being irrational. Remus has probably been arrested though, no doubt. I mean, what's the worst that can happen, really, except Virgil being caught and getting arrested and maybe going to jail and spending his life behind bars because he was thirsty for some Pepsi. Virgil nodded, 'Won't Remus be jealous?'

"Most likely."

[robinrunsfiction]

Ok I’ve had this idea in my head for weeks and I trust you to write it. Person A: I’m in love with (person B)?! Why didn’t you tell me? Revenge Frank x reader during warped tour. Where the reader does merch for either my chem or another band and she’s kinda girlier (soft emo? Idk) and frank keeps finding excuses to talk to her and the band keeps teasing him about it. Just lots of awkward but cute fluffiness. Sorry it’s so long I’ve had this idea for weeks and can’t get it out of my head.

Summer of Like, Summer of Love 

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female ReaderRating: GeneralRequested By: @scrolling-my-life-awayWord Count: ~2,400Author’s Note:I love this request because I’m biased toward the early to mid-2000s as this is when I discovered FOB, MCR, all of them really! Also this request gave me an excuse to look at pre-hiatus FOB pics, revenge era MCR, and my own facebook photos for inspo! Also a little background Petekey for fun!

On the 2005 Warped Tour, the heat of the summer sun bakedeveryone alive during the day, and the parties revived everyone at night andtonight was no exception. You were only about a week into your first majortour, running the merch booth for the hottest new band, Fall Out Boy. You weresipping on a cup of stale beer as you looked around at all the band members,roadies and groupies who were partying after the last sets of the nightfinished.

You tried to pick out anyone you recognized when suddenlyyou thought you spotted a face that looked familiar. There were tons of bandsyou loved on the tour, but more than any other band, you really wanted to meetthe guys from My Chemical Romance, and you thought you saw them across the way.You could have sworn for a second Frank was even looking your way.

“Hey, (YN), wanna go grab some food?” Your cousin Patrickasked, seeming to appear out of thin air.

“Jesus, Trick, you really have to scare me like that?” Youjumped.

“Sorry, you wanna go grab something to eat or not?”

“Yea, I suppose,” you said setting your mostly empty cup ona table before following Patrick toward the van waiting to take the band out toget dinner.

From across the parking lot, Frank watched you walk away.

“Hey Mikes, what’s that one band you can’t shut up about?”

Mikey thought for a second. “You mean Fall Out Boy?”

“Yea, we should check them out tomorrow.”

~

The next day Frank, Mikey and Gerard were standing just offstage as Fall Out Boy performed.

“Who are you looking for?” Gerard asked as he watched Franklooking around at everyone but the band on stage.

“No one,” Frank replied snapping back to attention. “I’ll beright back,” he replied wandering off.

“Wasn’t this his idea?” Gerard asked his brother whoseattention was glued to the band, specifically the bassist on stage. “Never mind,”he muttered to himself.

Frank’s suspicion was correct. The girl he had spotted thenight before was singlehandedly working the Fall Out Boy merch booth, but atthe moment she wasn’t busy since all the fans were watching the band play.

“Hi, what can I- oh my God, you’re Frank Iero. Sorry, I justlove your music,” you gushed, blushing crimson.

Frank laughed and looked down to keep from blushing himself.He was used to girls fawning over him, throwing themselves at him, but this wasdifferent. He was certain you were the cutest thing he had ever seen.

“Thanks, I appreciate it. Umm, what’s your name?”

“(YN),” you replied. “Sorry, again, you just startled me.”

He laughed again. “Are you gonna be at the party tonight?”

“Yea, usually am,” you replied, starting to notice peoplewere standing back, looking at the merch. “I’ll see you there?”

“Yea, I’ll see ya,” Frank said before waving and headingback to the backstage area before he got mobbed by fans.

~

Knowing that Frank was probably going to come talk to you atthe party tonight, you decided to put a little more effort into yourappearance. You had been avoiding wearing makeup during the day, since it wouldjust melt off in the heat, but now you made yourself up, and pulled on a pinktank top and a denim mini skirt.

You found Patrick and Joe by one of the kegs and Patrickpoured you a beer. You talked for a while before Pete and My Chemical Romancearrived. Everyone introduced themselves and you couldn’t help but notice Frankhad come to stand over by you.

“(YN), you need a refill?” Patrick asked.

“No, I’m good thanks,” you replied as some more people cameover and started talking. You spotted a picnic table close by and sat down.Much to your delight, Frank followed.

“So, is that your boyfriend?” Frank asked almost shyly.

“Patrick? Oh my God, no! He’s my cousin! He got me the jobmanaging the merch booth because I just graduated college and don’t have a jobyet.”

Frank tried to keep his cool and not let a relieved smilewash over his face. “Oh, sweet. What did you major in?”

“Marketing with a minor in graphic design. It was kind of amiddle ground. My parents would pay for school if I majored in something Icould get a job with.”

“So, what do you wanna do with it?”

You sighed. “I dunno, maybe get a job at an ad agency or-”

“No no, not what do your parents want you to do, what do youwanna do?” He asked, looking dead in your eyes. You stared back, a slow smilecreeping across your face. You were surprised he was able to see through yoursafe, but boring response.

“I wanna design band merch, and logos, and album art, all ofit. That’s why Patrick put me up for this job, he knows I’ve been obsessed withthis for years.”

Frank smiled once he heard the truth spill from your lips.“That’s so cool, I’d love to see your work some time.”

You shrugged, trying to play it cool. “I have a sketch bookback in the bus I could show you.”

“Hey (YN), Frank, we’re going to a party, wanna come?” Peteshouted before Frank could reply.

“Wanna go?” Frank asked you.

“Sure, I could use a change of scenery.”

~

The party was at an over-full house, and most of the peoplein attendance were from the tour as well. The stench of stale beer and weedwafted through the air as music blasted through speakers.

“So much for a change of scenery,” you muttered as youfollowed the gang through the crush of bodies.

“Should have stayed outside, it was cooler out there,” youheard Ray comment behind you.

“Come on,” Frank said taking the lead, charging through thecrowd toward the back of the house. Soon you had escaped into the backyard andinto fresh air.

“This is better,” you commented, straightening your skirt.

Both bands assembled outside around a fire pit that someonehad started but left unattended. Gerard and Andy watched over their friendslike two sober babysitters as everyone got drinks and sat around the fire. Youfound a lawn chair and got comfortable. You weren’t sure if you should try tojump into a conversation, but again Frank made his way to you, pulling up hisown chair.

“Is this your first time being on tour?” Frank asked.

“Yea, I’ve worked some of their local shows and helped makeshirts for them and stuff, but this is the first time I’ve gotten out on theroad. It’s such a different experience. Do you like it?”

“Yea, being in front of the crowds is amazing, but anytime Ican do anything with music I’m happy.”

“Being on this tour I’ve seen a lot of awesome bands, butyou guys are the best. Like, your energy on stage is incredible,” you toldFrank.

“Thanks,” he replied with a grin, again looking down,feeling a blush on his cheeks.

As you and Frank talked, you both leaned closer together, withyou occasionally getting up the nerve to place your hand on his arm, and hewould look you in the eyes adoringly. Neither of you quite believing what youwere experiencing between you.

“Do you think they see what’s going on between them?” Gerardasked.

“I have no idea,” Ray replied with a laugh as he tookanother swig of his beer.

“Just don’t think you can steal our merch girl, she’s the onlyone who can put up with them,” Andy said nodding to his band mates.

“As long as Pete doesn’t runaway with Mikey,” Gerard said with a laughand a glance toward the bassists who had wandered off from the group.

~

It had been a couple weeks since the start of the tour and Frank wasstill going out of his way to hang out with you when he could, and your crush onhim was as strong as ever. Even though so many people looked at you and how youdressed, or did your hair, and thought you didn’t belong with the punk or emo scene,Frank made you feel like you belonged because he looked past that and got toknow you. And as Frank got to know you, his feelings deepened for you as well.

You had been in your bunk, listening to music as you drew inyour sketchbook when you heard Mikey and Pete leaving the back of the bus.

“Wait, Mikey, are you going back to your bus?��� You asked,scrambling off your bed.

Mikey stopped almost out the door. “Yea, why?”

You handed him the folded piece of paper. “Its just a designidea I thought Frank might like,” you explained.

Mikey smiled knowingly. “Sure.”

When Mikey arrived back at the My Chemical Romance bus, hefound Frank reading in the back.

“Here,” Mikey said handing his band mate the piece of paper.

“What is it?”

“Its from (YN),” the words barely left Mikey’s mouth beforeFrank snatched the paper from him, a grin forming on his face.

“Oh this is so cool,” he said in awe.

“What is it?” Gerard asked as he and Ray came into the backof the bus.

“(YN) made something for Frank,” Mikey answered.

“It’s a cool design of my name,” he said still studying thedetails around the letters of his name, running his fingers over the lines. “Ishould write her a song to thank her,” he thought aloud, momentarily forgettinghis band mates presence.

“Damn Frank you’ve really fallen for this girl,” Ray saidwith a laugh.

“What? No, she’s just super cool, and really cute, andalways smells good and she’s easy to talk to.”

“And you never stop smiling when she’s around, and she’s allyou can talk about when she isn’t, and you wanna write a song for her,” Gerardsmiled, hoping his friends mind would go where he was leading.

Frank sat for a moment and then a look of realization washedover him. “I’m in love with (YN)? Why didn’t you tell me?” Frank exclaimed.

“I think you’re the only person who never noticed,” Mikeylaughed.

“What am I gonna do?”

“Ask her out like a normal human being?” Ray suggested.Frank shot him a look that said that was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.“What? It’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I could ask her out if Iwanted to.”

“No!” Frank shouted, jumping up. “I’m gonna do it.”

~

It was nearing the fourth of July, so almost everyone whoshouldn’t have been allowed near explosives had purchased fireworks. Frank was scanning the crowd nervously looking for you. Thenhe spotted you looking uncomfortable with some guy talking to you. You caught Frank’seye and felt relief wash over you as he came your way.

“Frank! There you are!” You said jumping up and wrappingyour arms around him. To your surprise he hugged you back just as tightly. Overyour shoulder Frank glared at the guy who had been talking to you and he tookthe hint to get lost.

“Thanks for that, he was really bothering me,” you said whenhe pulled back and saw the guy was gone.

“Its no biggie,” he replied smiling. “I got your design bythe way, it’s amazing, thank you.”

“No problem. I still gotta show you my whole sketchbooksometime when we aren’t so busy.”

“I’m not busy now,” Frank replied.

You smiled and nodded. “Yea, come on then,” you said headingtoward the buses. As you moved through the dark you felt Frank’s hand graspyours and you smiled, butterflies soaring through your stomach.

When you made it back to the bus, no one else was around. Youwent back to your bunk and pulled out the notepad. You switched on the lightand sat down on the sofa next to Frank.

“Ok, so this is my favorite so far,” you said flipping to apage with Fall Out Boy logos. “I did a few for My Chem too,” you said turningthe page.

Frank examined everything on each page carefully, notletting you rush past, even if you argued that the ones he was looking atweren’t good.

“Pete should give you a job at his label, these are awesome, you reallyhave a lot of talent,” he said looking up at you in awe.

You shrugged. “I’m afraid my style isn’t edgy enough for alot of bands.”

“Nah, it’s cool, and I think you could be edgier if youtried. Its there under the surface, I can tell.”

“Thanks,” you laughed.

“I’m serious, you’re awesome,” he said looking in your eyes.It was now or never. “Umm, (YN) do you wanna go out with me sometime?”

You were shocked and then thrilled. “Yea, yes, that would becool,” you grinned.

Frank grinned back and suddenly you were both leaning in,lips inches from each other.

“Oh (YN) you’re here- oh shit sorry,” Patrick rambled realizingwhat he interrupted when you and Frank both sat bolt upright.

“What’s up Patrick?” you sighed, looking over at yourembarrassed cousin.

“They’re starting the fireworks soon, I know you alwaysliked them,” he replied, looking at his shoes.

“Thanks,” you replied sincerely. Patrick waved as he walkedout. “Umm, do you wanna look at the fireworks?”

“Sure,” Frank replied with a smile. Anything to spend a little more time with you.

You found a spot back from the rest of the people gatheredaround watching the amateur pyrotechnics. You and Frank sat down on thescratchy grass and Frank wrapped his arm around your shoulders. You looked upat him and he smiled down, and you felt yourself leaning in again. When yourlips finally connected with his, you couldn’t help but smile. You pulled back fromthe kiss, the grin still plastered across your face.

“Holy shit I do love you,” Frank said, his eyes wide. Youlaughed and the smile on your face grew even larger. He grabbed your face andpulled you back into another kiss, the momentum of which caused him to tumblehim back into the grass with you laid out on top of him. Needless to say, neitherof you saw much of the fireworks that night.

Masterlist

[princiell]

if your favorite mcr album is danger days, you’re lgbt+ now. i don’t make the rules.

why every song in danger days: the true lives of the fabulous killjoys is a queer anthem:

first off: the title. the fabulous killjoys. need i say more?

the concept of the album is about these rebels dressing in leather and bright colors (hmm) fighting the normative system (hmmmmm) where everyone is forced to let go of individuality and hide who they are (hmmmmmmmmmm)

the comic written by gerard way heavily features the killjoys as queer coded; there’s at least two homosexual relationships (between korse and his lover, and blue and red). it’s a fucking beautiful read. read it.

look alive, sunshine/na na na (na na na na na na na na na): a song about said rebels in colorful clothes opposing an opressive regime. (that’s gay.) i’d rather go to hell than be in purgatory. also that whole bridge? iconic.

bulletproof heart: a song about running away from your enemies. stop your preaching right there cuz i really don’t care and i’ll do it again / tell the truth and god will save you / this world is after me, after you

SING: a song about never giving up, even when there’s nowhere left to go. a song about making injustices known until they’re non-existent anymore. you’ve got to make a choice if the music drowns you out / i am not the singer that you wanted but a dancer / you’ve got to see what tomorrow brings. also the whole chorus??

planetary (GO!): a song about how danger lurks in every corner, how life is so short and we can’t let others hold us back. and if their heaven ain’t got a vacancy then we just [...] get up and go! / truth is now acceptable / ain’t got no time to pretend / who they want you to be, who they wanted to see, kill the party with me and never go home / they sell presentable, young [...] safe, and i can’t stand it / the sound of my vendetta against the ones who planned it / i’ve got nothing to lose, you’ve got nothing to say. this song is just iconic come on

the only hope for me is you: a song about holding onto your very last friend as they all die. huh. i still remember them, covered in glass, covered in ash, covered in all my friends / and if we can’t find where we belong, we’ll have to make it on our own, face all the pain and take it on / i’ll say it’s okay, i know you can tell

traffic report: short interlude about the deaths of two killjoys. numb yourself to the pain with loud music. die without telling your secrets.

party poison: song about not giving a shit. if we were all like you in the end, oh, we'd be killing ourselves by sleeping in / ain’t a preacher gonna save me now

save yourself, i’ll hold them back: a literal fucking song about conquering hate and oppression. they say “we’re never leaving this place alive” but if you sing these words we’ll never die / we can leave this world, leave it all behind / i’ll tell you all how the story ends, where the good guys die and the bad guys win (who cares?) / who gives a damn if we lose the war? let the walls come down, let the engines roar / you’re a heart attack in black hair dye / be a burning star if it takes all night

s/c/a/r/e/c/r/o/w: a song about lost innocence and hiding. the scarecrows in the killjoy universe are similar to a police force, enemies of the killjoys. make a wish when your childhood dies / count to seventeen and close your eyes / he burns my skin, nevermind about the shape i’m in, i’ll keep you safe tonight / we’re all in love tonight / watch it grow where the tearstain dries to keep you safe tonight / love won’t stop this bomb, bomb

summertime: a love song. will you take me with you and carry all this broken bone, through six years down in crowded rooms and highways i call home? / with a brick in hand, your lip-gloss smile, your scraped-up knees / how long until we find our way in the dark and out of harm? / terrified of what i’d be as a kid from what i’ve seen / turn my headphones up, real loud / you can write it on your arm, you can run away with me anytime you want

DESTROYA: a song about how god ain’t shit. don’t believe what they say / they don’t like who you are / they don’t believe in us but i believe we’re the enemy / they laugh, we don’t think it’s funny / i just believe in the enemy (but i believe we’re the enemy) / against the sun, we’re the enemy! / don’t hide and we don’t run!

the kids from yesterday: a time capsule song about childhood. we don’t care about [...] the rules they make / you only live forever in the lights you make / you only hear the music when your heart begins to break / they only care if you can bleed / here we are and we won’t stop breathing

goodnite, dr. death: album outro. you may be gone, but out here in the desert, your shadow lives on without you.

vampire money: a song about the guys being pissed at twilight for trying to make them grab cash how the media paints people the way it’s convenient for them. sing it like the kids that are mean to you! / the kids don’t care if you’re alright, honey, pills don’t help but it sure is funny! / (well i sure like the way you’re looking at me right there!)

this was fun anyway if you’re gay and into mcr you have a killjoy oc you know i’m right