#but the thing is is that i cant be a girlfriend again
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🛑🚨‼️ATTENTION PLEASE, JUST A QUICK READ‼️🚨🛑
hi im angie (she/they)! im a lesbian from the philippines. i’ve been a part of so many fandoms but im usually a silent like-r, reblogger, and supporter. i also make art at my sideblog, @angiedoesthingss. but now, im truly desperate and is currently asking for your help.
yesterday, after years of abuse from our narcissistic, homophobic grandma, i finally fought back and did my best to protect my mother and sister. it was a disaster and my grandma threatened us to leave her house (long story short, we live under her roof). i’ve always planned to move, but now, i need to bring my family to safety as soon as possible too.
we need to move for our safety and happiness by the first quarter of 2025. we’re planning to move back to our childhood home that we’ve currently put up for rent (the current renter is leaving soon - no worries). im planning to bring along my mom, my sister, our two cats and dog with me.
the thing is, im worried we wont be able to move because our funds have been so low. recently, i lost my main job because my boss was a creep. i only have a part time job now that only pays me $170 a month which is barely enough for me, much less my family. my sister just graduated college so she doesn’t have a job yet and my mom can’t get a job because it stresses and tires her out (she also deals with mental health problems - a result of this unstable environment).
my goal is to at least reach $500 to ensure that we’ll have enough money for the move and to sustain us for the next couple of months while we adjust to this new environment and heal. i would be so grateful and would appreciate any amount you can give for me and my family.
it’s truly crazy how things can just change from one day to the next. a day before that altercation, i was cooking cordon bleu with my girlfriend at their house, watching arcane s2 act 1 - literally in lesbian bliss. and now im on a mission to save me and my family, to give all of us the freedom and life we deserve.
thank you for reading so far! and thank you so much for donating! im thankful too for any likes or reblogs you can give me to spread my little post. im hoping it will reach so many of you. i really hope we get to accomplish this goal.
i’ll be sure to keep updating this post as we reach certain milestones, maybe even reblogging with pictures of our pets! if youre from the philippines as well and would like to help, you can pm me and i’ll send you my GCASH information! again, thank you so much, i cant thank you, reader, enough!
(please click the photo for the link 🥹 if that doesnt work click here! thank you so much)
#im gonna tag my fandoms new and old to get more reach#dimension 20#d20#dropout#arcane#caitvi#jayvik#house of the dragon#hotd#interview with the vampire#iwtv#anne with an e#awae#our flag means death#ofmd#atla#steven universe#l&co#lockwood & co#toh#the owl house#jatp#julie and the phantoms#bridgerton#infinity train#she-ra#the bear#paypal#gofundme#<--- even though i dont have one cause its not in the ph :(((
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pondering my orb
#personal#it appears i have fallen victim to the situationship industrial complex#this little arrangement i found myself in has escalated from ‘friends who hook up’ to ‘boyfriend without the boy’#and it is becoming lets say emotionally distressing#because i am leaving town for the summer in just three short weeks! and for the past two months we have spent every free moment together#and putting our own individual codependent tendencies aside i really do like him#i havent been alone long enough to shift my brain out of girlfriend mode#because the thing is i loved being a girlfriend#apparently it was a significant part of my identity#which i didnt really realize until i wasnt one anymore#and i miss it!#i dont even miss the boyfriend i was the girlfriend of particularly#i just miss being a girlfriend i think#and now i have found a man who i would very much like to be the girlfriend of#hes respectful and emotionally intelligent and he fucks me so good and we have a lot of fun together i think#but the thing is is that i cant be a girlfriend again#because since it was such a significant part of my identity now that i am no longer a girlfriend i have lost that piece#and i guess i dont know what is supposed to go in its place#who am i if not girlfriend? what do i do when i am not girlfriending? who do i talk to when its not my boyfriend?#my life purpose is certainly not ‘girlfriend’#i mean its not supposed to be. i was pretty happy with it but everyone in my life is telling me thats not what im supposed to do#so what am i supposed to do???? i dont like being alone i dont want to be#i want to be girlfriend!!!!!!!#i was happy and i felt fulfilled#sure it was for the wrong person but the right one will come along#im not very good at the whole casual dating thing though. i mean clearly#because this man is probably not boyfriend material either#as much as i like him it is questionable whether he deserves my girlfriending#so how does one find ‘the’ boyfriend?#is it a futile exercise in the first place
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the party if they were fucking cool 🔥 i wasnt joking about the modern stranger things au where everythings the same except the party really likes skating thing
#this is my six weed smoking girlfriends.#and yes.#they smoke weed#sorry for projecting all of my interests onto mike wheeler#it will happen again#cinephile mike wheeler is real to ME.#forgot maxs freckles in the second one#its fiinnneee#els ladybug helmet is very important to me btw#i tried to make maxs skateboard look like her canon one#and will’s skateboard is supposed to be painted#its like vaguely jellyfish and stars but you cant see it that well#will also painted the top of mikes skateboard btw. if u even care#max teaching lucas to skateboard can be something so personal <33#stranger things#the party#mike wheeler#will byers#max mayfield#lucas sinclair#el hopper#dustin henderson#byler#lumax#stranger things fanart#fanart#skater au#stranger things skater au#harperdoodles#stoner byler
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Jrwi be like or something idk I'm so tired at this point
#every fucking tjme#i thought it was just a grizzly thing but things cant ever be that simple can they#PLEASE get creative PLEASEEEE#i dont want to see the same concept over and over again slightly changed to make things a bit unique#weve had a TON of them in riptide#and now we have wonderlust#which is definitely the best execution we've had of it yet btw#also its so fucking funny to me that that chalrie isnt in the campaign#probably too busy sluting it up with his rpf girlfriend somewhere#no time to play dnd when you've got rpf to fuck to and “i played the SCARIEST horror game and THIS happened?!!?” videos to make#i just kinda have to laugh at this point
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robin buckley is the kind of gf to take every opportunity to talk about her partner its true
someone mentions the newspaper? oh! nancy works for the newspaper! did robin mention nancy is robin’s girlfriend?
the color pink? nancy loves the color pink! also nancy is robin’s girlfriend.
books? nancy loves reading books! robin loves reading books with nancy, who is robin’s girlfriend.
she just loves saying “nancy is my girlfriend!”
#ronance#nancy wheeler#robin buckley#robin#nancy#robin x nancy#ronance canon#stranger things#im taking this as an opportunity to talk about my girlfriend in these tags#i would do absolutely anything for her#if she told me to walk across the country to get something i would#even if it’s the smallest thing#I WILL DO IT#i would hand pick the most beautiful flowers for her just because i know that’s what she deserves#i couldnt ever imagine hurting this girl#i cant believe that somebody as beautiful as her would choose somebody like me#and if i were immortal and she was not i would wait for her for thousands of years to be able to see her once again#i could write hundreds of sonnets and it wouldnt amount to how much i feel for her#can you guys tell i like talking about my girlfriend
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Oh my god one last thing my ex took me to outside lands and when we tried to watch lana del rey he laid down on the grass and had a “panic attack” (this was after months of him talking about how he didn’t like her) so we went to see foo fighters after a bit and he was FINE
#LANA i know his sister works for you BUT TRUST MY WORD AND GIVE ME A FREE TICKET PLEASE…#MY FIRST TIME SEEING YOU WAS RUINED GIRL… she was so good too like i was saving her songs to spotify that night#im reliving all this because i found out a lot of his exes and ex friends hang out together and two of them invited me so it was me an ex an#d an ex friend just swapping stories and first of all. he said he got cheated on by this girl and she NEVER DID IT (HE would have emotional/#angry outbursts at HER though) (allegedly he’s acknowledged to her that the cheating never happened too) and 2. this is obviously making me#mentally rehash everything again. i feel so bad for his current girlfriend and also for the person i ‘’stole’’ him from though i really hesi#tate to blame myself after hearing about his patterns. first of all he wouldve done this with anyone who was vulnerable around him and secon#d i was the only reason he was at all honest with them. he was fully planning to gaslight this ex and me and his dad had to convince him not#to. they look like theyre happy now and im very happy for them over that. oh my god that man was evil he told me for WEEKS about every time#his then partner had talked shit about me while i made clear that i didnt care and wasnt very interested but he kept going. god i cant belie#ve this was my life a year ago.#the one thing i can say is that i out freaked him because throughout our short relationship i made him so insecure that a week after i told#to never speak to me again he called me asking if he really was ugly.#I CANNOT BELIEVE I HAD TO TEND TO A GROWN MAN WHILE LANA DEL REY WAS RIGHT THERE BECAUSE HE WAS SO OPPOSED TO BEING AROUND HER. LANAAAA#times like these i get so mad i dont know what to do but ultimately remembering that he has not achieved any of his goals because he refuses#to face himself really helps me. god man IVE achieved some of his goals and i wasnt even trying to#a really awful part of all of this was all of the friends who knew him taking his side. because they didnt know him well enough to know what#he was actually like.#i was talking to my ex friend of four years and she was like not to blame you but he was probably really vulnerable from his time with [ex p#rior to me]’’ because he’s been going around alleging that that ex was abusive. and she was implying i took advantage of him. so i had to go#into detail about what an awful awful person he was and the sort of state i was in when this relationship took place. hannah lee you are#not seeing your little jehovah’s witness heaven.#anyways redirecting this energy im very happy with the way my life is and the way i am now. and im grateful for it i would not have ever bee#n able to imagine having the sort of peace and motivation i feel now. life feels like it can and will change for the better and it keeps pro#ving that right all the time#it just hurts sometimes having that as my first experience and not even being able to vocalize what was wrong bc i just didnt know hurts#oh i forgot one of his besties can see my account bc we’re sort of mutuals. i doubt he’s looking he did the whole unfollowing the ex bc she’#s allegedly amoral thing after the breakup but if he is hi isaac#he did on rare occasion show me selfless kindness but ultimately your best friend is a creep. i don’t want to be involved with anyone from#our school but I hope you know this and I hope you’re proud
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#cant sleep bc im thinking so many thoughts#hiding in the tags#i think im finally over her?#like today and the last time we hung out i didnt Feel it anymore#and its not like i dont love her anymore i really really do but now its in a best friend way only i think?#the Feeling wasnt there which i guess its a good thing#and like yeah maybe its the depression maybe im just not feeling anything rn but also like#thats why she broke up with me and even when her depression got better she never got back to Feeling it?#and last time My depression was bad i wouldnt feel anything at all except when we hung out#so it feels different now#not necessarily a bad different just Different#but im so fucking scared of losing her#like im so scared of when she starts dating again#and yes ive been thinking of dating again im desperate for a girlfriend#but shes the one who broke up with me and shes had to deal with this before with Him and she didnt feel bad#but when we started dating He felt bad so like. i get him#and im so scared of never getting into a relationship again bc she’ll Always have a part of my heart like even if i dont Feel it anymore#she’ll always be number one for me#and im scared ill never let myself love anyone else bc i wouldnt think its fair to them bc of her#and idk.#i really dont wanna lose her she means so much to me#and im so comfortable around her in a way that im not with anyone else#idk where im going with this#sometimes i really fucking hate being aroace#and not being able to tell the difference between different feelings#:(#whatever
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I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?
Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.
Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.
#speculation nation#i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so#wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on.#then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings#objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it.#have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao#it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways.#id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It.#god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too#i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did.#it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well.#then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then...#but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again.#cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me.#i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!!#anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens.#other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew.#idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me.#it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...
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lifeblogging begins....girl asked me out today AND i don't knowhow to tell her no 😭
#NO OKAY LISTEN RIGHT shes been texting me for a whileeee and she used to like me YEARS ago Literally full on told me and we didnt talk for#ages Then she starts messagjngme again And keeps making like weird things thag we have in common?😭#one time my friends were making fun of me for having rice for breakfast And i wrote rice onnmy friends hand And then she sat next to this#girl in her class and told her about me having rice THE NEXT DAY SHEEEE BRINNGGS UPPP RICE AND SAYS SHE HAS IT FOR BREAKFAST SOMETIMES#ITWAS JUST REALLY LIKE.😭😭😭#BUT I NEED TO TELL HER NO BECAUSE I GOT A GIRLFRIEND BUT LIKEE I CSNT SAY NO she hasnt said its explicitly romantic You know? just said#do you want to go out And well i cant work with that AT ALL. B3CAUSE IT WPUKD BE SO RUDE TO GO ummm No sorry. and it's would be so#self entered to be like Umm i have a girlfriend🤓 YOU KNOW?!#god this blog is great i love lifeblogging
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nothing has made me want to quit my job more than happiness outside of it
#staying in bed with my gf in the morning is way more important to me than my job#and the other thing that makes me want to quit is the Girlfriend Grief of knowing i cant see her for a while again :/
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I understand why other aro and/or ace people are uninterested in romance or sex in fiction but being aromantic myself I think its part of why Im so into romance. I just think its sweet!!! I dont really get it but its sweet!!!
#I dunno I feel very strong platonic emotions to people that I think are similar to like romantic ones but I can never get to the like#wanting a relationship with someone where Im calling the other person my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/husband/wife/spouse thing you know#my point is I get where people are coming from being sick of love stories being in everything but I love it.#Cant get enough of it I love reading a superhero comic and then the main character has a love interest and their#relationship is well written and interesting. I am a sucker.#Yeah Ive just been thinking about O'Neil Question and Vic and Myra again.
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365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 274
Adjective: Deceptive
Noun: Spiral
Definitions for those who need/want them:
Deceptive: giving an appearance or impression different from the true one, or misleading
Spiral: a spiral curve, shape, or pattern; a spiral spring; (astronomy) short for spiral galaxy; a progressive rise or fall of prices, wages, etc., each responding to an upward or downward stimulus provided by a previous one; a process of deterioration through the continuous increase or decrease of a specified feature; (American football) a pass or kick that moves smoothly through the air while spinning on its long axis
#just a smidge late this time#lowkey cos my girlfriend and i were busy#speaking of which we continued birthday celebrations for her and went out and did some small things#we honestly had another fun and relaxing day#also cant believe its october#halloween is right around the corner (my girlfriend and i are trying to work out costumes rn)#and we are both attempting inktober again#ive never finished an inktober (including the year in which i tried to write poems instead of making drawings)#so im crossing my fingers for this one#anyway this prompt screams the 'spiral' from the magnus archives#so im obviously going to do something with that in the poem i end up writing#i cant get over how 'deceptive' and 'spiral' are so perfect for a piece about the spiral#also i fell asleep while writing these tags and now im more than a smidge late#so oops#the magnus archives#tma#the spiral#the spiral tma#thanks for reading#writing#writer#creative writing#writing prompt#writeblr#trying to be a writeblr at least
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I get so incredibly triggered everytime I break something
#i broke my girlfriends headset :(( AGAIN#this is like the 3rd timd#i swear i cant be trusted with anything#i wish i was better#i wish trying my best was enough#i wish i had at least made money to replace the things i break but i cant even do that#why does my girlfriend love me? most people wouldnt even tolerate me#im useless and i mess everything up
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in thinking a lot about someone im thinking a lot about someone oh god no dont do this again youre gonna ruin it im thinking a lot about someone
#worms in my brain? no. im taking preventative measures#cause i go to class with this guy i met in the summer and i though he was soo cool when we met and he is in fact really fucking cool#now i see him every week cause class when i initially thought id never see him again. and im thinking about him way too much?#idk. i think im just excited to be friends because he really is so interesting and strange like so fucking weird and i love weird ppl#but im scared stupud brain and heart will do stupid things and start. you know. and i cant feel like that he has a girlfriend and also#would never happen. ppl never like me#but whatever its not a problem im just pre-worrying bc we have a great relationship like i feel rly comfortable with him and we laugh a lot#we are quite alike i think. and i worry that might mean sth else bc my brain tends to go for people i cant be with [well the 1 and a half#times ive liked ppl before. yeah] so you know#anyway im excited to have someone like him in my life#spikeposting
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gideon knew nona was alecto from the start right??? was part of her shock after the kiss seeing her own eyes in harrow’s face???? gideon was standing right there when mercy said “Your child... Alecto’s eyes” so she knows all that like she HAD to have figured out nona immediately. ALSO did harrow not realize alecto had gideon’s eyes in the epilogue??? or during the sixth months where she was in hell or wherever did she piece together what she was already starting to subconsciously realize (according to tazmuir - i forget which interview though) re: the AUs hinting at gideon’s parentage because do you really think a harrow who was unaware that gideon is the daughter of god would not absolutely freeze up and/or faint at THE BODY IN THE TOMB having GIDEON’S eyes????
#i know gideon says who is 'this literal goddamn infant' but i think she knew and she was just seeing if any of them realized maybe idk#she would hate whoever was in harrow's body but she would especially hate them if they were harrow's bullshit dead girlfriend#who she saw coming towards her in the river so i think she had an idea of who took over harrow's body#also in htn harrow says the body's eyes were black like her own in her youth and only became yellow post-lyctorhood#so she would not have known alecto and gideon actually shared eyes#im sure after she remembered eating gideon she would have thought that's why the body's eyes changed#and like once again. a lot was going on. but you think that would have been the FIRST thing my girl noticed like she had a full conversation#what happened to harrow!!!! where was she all that time!!!!! i cant wait to know#htn spoilers#harrow the ninth spoilers#ntn spoilers#nona spoilers#nona the ninth spoilers#nona the ninth#ntn#tlt#the locked tomb#analysis#tlt spoilers#the locked tomb spoilers
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One last post because this has literally been keeping me up but it haunts me how ice cold kiryu is. The man is like a fucking robot , like yeah he is the warm and compassionate protagonist of our beloved like a yakuza series who loves to help people and adores his nine kids but he gives zero shits about consequences as long as they all fall onto his shoulders and is a huge fan of abandoning everybody who has ever loved him because he cant just Not have his cake and eat it , he also has to fake his death and run away from it
#Yakuza loveblog#and hes still out there#kiryu kazuma was a real person#he cant have nice things because at his core he doesnt believe he should have any of it#cant keep my kids. cant keep my daughter. cant keep my happy life. cant keep my boyfriend. cant keep my girlfriend. cant keep a single one#of my sworn brothers cant keep my gorgeous head of bold black hair#he simply is unable to feel anything anymore because it all keeps happening over and over again#how can he change or grow when hes always strapped into this four block wide minecart track#he gets like three years of downtime before getting instantly thrust back into the action and hes just grteful hes not in jail anymore#he doesnt fucking care about himself one bit and it fucks me up so bad#its not ‘why do terrible things keep happening to me’ its ‘damn ... i could have probably prevented this .. somehow...’#its not ‘kaoru please promise to text or call once in a while ...’ its ‘well good luck in america :)’#and these games always wrap up his self sacrifice as ... his price for keeping the people he loves safe ... not like kiryu just fucked#himself once more because he can only imagine people smiling when hes not in the picture#kiryu ‘everybody i love dies when i get involved’ kazuma once again making sure nobody dies by cutting himself off#and now that hes a dead man theres no one else he can kill ... right ..?
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