#but the second time it was a conscious decision at like 11

[diari0deglierrori]

I love that every time there’s a flashback of some characters as kids they always have the exact same haircut as when they’re older

[kiwriteswords]

hear me out, hear me out... is it possible to get shy!reader x bearded!hotch?????????????

Shades of Stubble

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Shy Female Reader||Word Count: 3k

Tags/Warnings: No use of Y/N, canon-typical themes, shy reader, teasing team, teenage Jack, bearded Hotch, post-season 10/11 with no Mr. Scratch, reader has a crush

Sypnosis: When Aaron Hotchner returns to the BAU sporting a beard after a rare week off, it draws more attention than he expects—especially from you, the shy but perceptive team member whose lingering glances reveal more than you realize.

Aaron Hotchner didn’t often take full advantage of the rare breaks the team received, but this time, a solid week away from the BAU had given him time to unwind—if that’s what growing a beard counted as. Normally, his morning routine was methodical, almost meditative—a quick splash of cold water to wake himself up, followed by lathering shaving cream across his jaw and carefully dragging the razor along the angles of his face. It was a task he’d repeated every day without fail, a ritual that helped him maintain the sharp, controlled image he knew his role required.

But when the break started, the razor stayed on the sink. The first morning, he told himself he’d get to it later. By the second, he rationalized that there was no harm in skipping a day or two. By the third, a faint shadow of stubble had appeared, and he caught himself in the mirror, running a hand along his jawline, curious. It wasn’t like the full beard he’d grown out during his time in Pakistan—this was something new, something... untethered. For once, he wasn’t adhering to his usual strict standards, and there was a quiet freedom in that.

He wasn’t entirely sure why he’d chosen to let it stay. Maybe it was exhaustion—seven days free of the ever-present weight of the BAU felt like both a luxury and an anomaly. Or maybe it was a small rebellion against the routine that so often defined his life. This was about as rebellious as he got these days, maybe a silent nod to his pre-boarding school days, but nonetheless. He didn’t have to answer to anyone for a week, and he didn’t have to fit into the box of Aaron Hotchner, Supervisory Special Agent. He could just exist.

By the time the week ended, the beard had grown in enough to draw attention, though he hadn’t considered how it might be received by the team—or anyone else, for that matter. It wasn’t a decision he put much thought into, at least not until he walked into the bullpen on Monday morning.

The reaction was immediate, though not unwelcome. JJ’s playful quip cut through the usual hum of activity, and heads turned in his direction. He caught Rossi’s amused smirk, Morgan’s raised brow, and—most notably—your wide-eyed, stunned expression. For the first time in years, Aaron Hotchner felt a little... self-conscious. But it wasn’t entirely unpleasant.

JJ’s voice rang out across the room with playful familiarity. "It's baaaack!"

Heads turned, but Hotch’s gaze landed on you. You were seated at your desk, a pen in your hand paused mid-air, as if frozen in the act of jotting something down. Your eyes widened when they met his, and though you tried to look back at your work, Hotch caught the way your cheeks flushed, betraying your reaction.

It wasn’t the first time he’d noticed you looking at him like that—soft glances quickly averted, the occasional stammer when he addressed you directly. He’d always assumed you were shy by nature, but there was something about the way you reacted to him in particular that stirred a feeling he hadn’t wanted to examine too closely. Not until now.

He crossed the bullpen, nodding a silent acknowledgment to JJ, who grinned knowingly and sipped her coffee. As he passed your desk, he noticed your gaze dart up to him again, only to quickly drop back to your notes. Your pen moved, but the faint smile tugging at your lips told him you weren’t really focused.

“Good morning,” he said, his deep voice cutting through the quiet bubble you seemed to have surrounded yourself with.

Your head shot up, your eyes meeting his again before flickering to the beard and back. “G-Good morning, Hotch.”

There it was—that hesitation, that barely there crack in your voice. You managed a small smile, but your hands fidgeted with the pen, betraying your nerves.

He nodded, letting the moment linger just a second longer than usual. “I hope you had a good week.”

“I did,” you replied quickly, almost too quickly, before glancing away. “Did you?”

“I did.” His lips twitched in a barely-there smile. “It’s rare to have so much time off. I’ll see you in the meeting room.”

With that, he moved on, climbing the stairs to his office, though he couldn’t resist glancing back once. You were still sitting there, staring blankly at your notebook, one hand pressed against your cheek as though trying to will away the blush.

The day moved forward with its usual rhythm—briefings, paperwork, follow-ups on ongoing cases. But throughout it all, Hotch found himself hyper-aware of your presence. The way your gaze flickered toward him whenever you thought he wasn’t looking. The way your voice softened when you addressed him. And, of course, the way your blush deepened whenever someone—namely Morgan—commented on the beard.

“Looking rugged, Hotch,” Morgan said during lunch, his grin teasing as always. “What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Hotch replied simply, though he couldn’t help noticing you sneaking a glance at him from across the table. He decided not to meet your eyes this time, sensing you’d only shrink further into yourself if he did.

By the end of the day, Hotch found himself in the bullpen again, finishing a conversation with Rossi. As the older man walked away, he turned to see you standing by your desk, gathering your things for the evening. You glanced up and froze when you realized he was watching you.

“Heading out?” he asked.

“Yes, sir,” you replied, clutching your bag tightly. “I, uh... just finishing up.”

“Good.” He paused, then added, “I’ve noticed you’ve been very focused today. I appreciate that.”

Your eyes widened slightly, and for a moment, he thought you might not respond. Then you nodded quickly, your voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you.”

He didn’t miss the way your gaze lingered on his face—on the beard—before you ducked your head again, clearly embarrassed by your own boldness. He couldn’t help but feel a flicker of amusement—and something else, something warmer, deeper—at your reaction.

“Have a good night,” he said, his voice softer than usual.

“You too,” you replied, finally looking at him again. And this time, there was a tiny smile on your lips—shy, but genuine.

As you walked away, Hotch stood there for a moment, watching you go. He didn’t usually dwell on personal matters, but for the first time in a long time, he found himself thinking about something—or rather, someone—other than the job.

Hotch lingered in the bullpen after you left, his gaze fixed on the space you had occupied only moments before. The quiet hum of the office around him faded into the background as his thoughts drifted. You had always been reserved—soft-spoken, diligent, and almost painfully shy in his presence—but tonight had felt different. The way your cheeks had flushed when you glanced at him, the way your voice trembled ever so slightly when you said, “Good night,” lingered in his mind like a melody he couldn’t shake.

He wasn’t oblivious to the way you avoided his gaze during meetings or the nervous energy that seemed to bubble to the surface whenever he was near. At first, he chalked it up to his position, assuming you were simply wary of interacting with your boss. But over time, he began to notice the subtler details—the way your focus seemed to falter when he entered the room, the way your lips pressed together in a shy smile whenever he acknowledged you. He couldn’t deny that your reactions had begun to stir something within him.

With a sigh, Hotch headed up to his office, closing the door behind him. The mirror by his coat rack caught his eye, and he approached it, scrutinizing his reflection. The beard, now fully grown, had transformed his appearance in ways he hadn’t anticipated. It softened the sharpness of his jawline, gave him an edge that felt rugged and unpolished. It reminded him of a different time—a different man—but also felt like a small reclamation of his identity beyond the suit and title.

He ran a hand over the coarse hair, considering whether it was time to shave it off. His routine had always been a source of stability in his chaotic life, and the beard felt like an indulgence he wasn’t sure he could afford to keep. Yet, as he stood there, the image of your wide-eyed gaze flashed through his mind. The way your blush deepened when JJ’s comment drew attention to him. The tiny, shy smile you offered as you said goodnight.

A warmth spread through him, surprising in its intensity. He’d seen countless reactions to his decisions over the years—respect, defiance, admiration—but the unfiltered awe in your eyes when you looked at him tonight was something else entirely. It wasn’t about the beard, he realized, not really. It was about you, and the thought that he might have been the reason for that smile, fleeting as it was.

Hotch turned away from the mirror and sat at his desk, leaning back in his chair. The thought of shaving the beard felt distant now, almost trivial. He knew he would eventually, but for now, he decided to keep it—if only to see if he could coax another smile from you.

And maybe, just maybe, to hear your voice tremble in that sweet, shy way one more time.

Aaron Hotchner stood in his bathroom, razor in hand, staring at his reflection. The beard was staying—for now—but it was time to bring it under control. He wasn’t the type to let his appearance slip too far, and even if the beard was uncharacteristic for him, it didn’t have to be unruly. With steady hands, he trimmed the edges, shaping it neatly to suit his features. The coarse sound of the trimmer filled the quiet bathroom as he worked methodically, the precision calming in a way that reminded him of his usual shaving routine.

When he was satisfied, he stepped back to examine the results. The beard was tidier now, the lines clean and deliberate. It still felt like a small rebellion against the rigidity of his usual image, but it was a rebellion on his terms.

Jack’s voice cut through his thoughts from the hallway. “You’re keeping it?”

Hotch turned to see his son leaning against the doorframe, a teasing grin on his teenage face. Jack had grown so much, taller now, his voice deeper, but the playful light in his eyes hadn’t changed.

“For now,” Hotch replied, setting the trimmer down. “Why? You don’t like it?”

Jack shrugged, feigning disinterest. “I mean, it’s fine. Just... you look like you’re trying to be cool or something.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow, amused. “Trying to be cool?”

“Yeah,” Jack teased, crossing his arms. “Like, what’s next? Leather jackets?”

Hotch chuckled, shaking his head. “I think I’ll stick to suits, thanks.”

“Good call,” Jack said, grinning as he walked away. “But don’t blame me if people start calling you ‘Hotch the hipster.’”

Hotch rolled his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips as he grabbed a towel and cleaned up.

The next morning at the BAU, the beard caught its usual share of attention. You were the first to notice when Hotch walked into the bullpen, your eyes flickering up from your desk. As usual, you tried to hide your reaction, but Hotch caught the way your gaze lingered on him before you quickly looked back at your screen. He felt a small, unfamiliar pang of satisfaction.

Throughout the day, it became a pattern. Your eyes would drift toward him when you thought he wasn’t looking, and Hotch found himself hyper-aware of your presence. You seemed more flustered than usual, fumbling over your words when he asked you a question during a meeting and avoiding his gaze entirely when Morgan teased him about the beard.

It wasn’t until late afternoon that Rossi made his move. The two of them were standing by the coffee machine when the older man gave Hotch a knowing look.

“So,” Rossi began, casually stirring his coffee. “You’re keeping the beard.”

“For now,” Hotch replied, taking a sip from his own mug.

Rossi smirked, his tone light but unmistakably teasing. “I think someone likes it.”

Hotch frowned slightly. “Jack? He’s made his opinion very clear.”

“I wasn’t talking about Jack.” Rossi’s smirk widened as he nodded toward the bullpen, where you were seated at your desk, your gaze darting toward Hotch once again before you quickly turned your attention back to your papers.

Hotch raised an eyebrow, his expression carefully neutral, but the slight twitch of his lips betrayed him. “I think you’re imagining things.”

“Am I?” Rossi chuckled, leaning back against the counter. “You might want to pay attention, Aaron. She’s not as subtle as she thinks.”

Hotch glanced toward you once more. You were chewing on the end of your pen, deep in concentration, oblivious to the conversation happening just feet away.

He turned back to Rossi, shaking his head. “Let it go, Dave.”

“Sure, sure,” Rossi said, his tone dripping with false innocence as he pushed off the counter. “But for what it’s worth, I think the beard suits you. Clearly, I’m not the only one.”

Hotch didn’t reply, but as Rossi walked away, a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but part of him was glad he’d decided to keep the beard. If nothing else, it gave him one more reason to notice the way your cheeks flushed and your gaze lingered just a little too long.

Hotch was used to reading people—it was part of his job. He could pick apart the smallest details in someone's behavior, uncovering motives and intentions hidden beneath the surface. But when it came to you, he had learned to tread carefully. You were quiet, meticulous, and hardworking, but there was a guardedness about you that he respected, even if he didn’t entirely understand it.

The subtle glances, the flushed cheeks, the way your voice softened when speaking to him—it had all been easy to dismiss as shyness. But lately, he’d begun to wonder if there was more to it. Rossi’s teasing hadn’t helped, planting a seed of curiosity that grew every time your gaze lingered on him just a second too long.

The revelation, however, came unexpectedly, in the middle of a case briefing.

The team was gathered in the conference room, the case details spread across the table. Hotch was at the head of the room, presenting the profile, when he asked a question about the unsub’s potential targets. You were the one who answered, your voice steady but quiet, offering an insight that made the rest of the team nod in agreement.

“Good observation,” Hotch said, his tone even but sincere. “That could narrow down the list.”

Your eyes darted to him, and for a moment, there it was again—that slight hesitation, the way your gaze lingered on his face before you quickly looked down. It was subtle, but it wasn’t lost on him.

What followed, however, wasn’t subtle at all.

“Careful, Hotch,” Morgan said with a grin, leaning back in his chair. “Keep praising her like that, and she’s gonna think she’s your favorite.”

The comment drew a few chuckles, but your reaction was what caught Hotch’s attention. You froze, your cheeks turning a deep shade of red as you fumbled with the pen in your hand.

“I—uh—I didn’t...” you stammered, your words trailing off as you avoided everyone’s gaze, especially his.

JJ, ever the empathetic one, tried to steer the conversation back to the case, but Morgan wasn’t done. “I’m just saying,” he added, his grin widening, “you don’t see him handing out compliments like that to the rest of us.”

“Enough,” Hotch said, his tone firm but not harsh, cutting off the teasing. He could see how uncomfortable you were, your shoulders tense as you kept your eyes glued to the table.

The meeting wrapped up shortly after, and as the team dispersed, Hotch stayed behind, watching as you gathered your things with hurried precision. He could see the embarrassment still etched on your face, the way you avoided looking at him as you moved toward the door.

“Wait,” he said, his voice stopping you in your tracks. You froze, gripping the edge of the file folder in your hands as he stepped closer.

“Sir?” you asked, your voice quiet but steady.

“I wanted to make sure you’re okay,” he said, his tone softer now. “Morgan’s comments—”

“They were just jokes,” you interrupted, though your cheeks were still flushed. “It’s fine.”

Hotch studied you for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly. He could see the tension in your posture, the way your grip on the folder tightened. And then, as if unable to hold it in any longer, you blurted out, “It’s not his fault. It’s mine.”

That caught him off guard. “What do you mean?”

You hesitated, your gaze flickering to the door as if debating whether to make a run for it. But then you took a deep breath, your voice trembling slightly as you said, “I—it’s nothing. I just... I know I’m not subtle. I’ve been trying, but...”

You trailed off, your words hanging in the air between you. Hotch felt his chest tighten, the weight of what you weren’t saying suddenly very clear.

“I see,” he said finally, his voice quiet but steady. “You don’t need to apologize.”

You looked up at him then, your eyes wide and uncertain. “I’m not making this weird, am I? I don’t want to... I mean, I know you’re my boss, and I shouldn’t—”

“Stop,” Hotch interrupted gently, his tone firm but kind. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke, the tension in the room thick but not unpleasant. Hotch could see the vulnerability in your expression, the way you seemed torn between fleeing and staying rooted in place.

“Thank you,” you said finally, your voice barely above a whisper.

Hotch nodded, stepping back to give you space. “Take the rest of the day if you need it.”

You shook your head quickly, a small, shy smile appearing despite your obvious embarrassment. “I’m okay. I just... I’ll try to be more professional.”

“There’s nothing unprofessional about being yourself,” Hotch replied, his voice calm and measured. “Let me know if you need anything.”

With that, you nodded, clutching your folder tightly as you slipped out of the room. Hotch watched you go, his thoughts swirling as the door clicked shut behind you.

For a man who prided himself on being able to read people, the realization of your feelings hit him like a revelation he hadn’t seen coming. And yet, as he stood there in the empty conference room, he couldn’t deny the warmth spreading through him at the thought.

Aaron Hotchner lingered in the empty conference room after you left, the soft click of the door echoing in the silence. He was rarely caught off guard, but your words—and the vulnerability behind them—had shaken something loose within him. You hadn’t outright said the words, but the implication was clear. And now that it was out in the open, he couldn’t pretend he hadn’t noticed the signs before.

He sat down, his fingers drumming lightly against the edge of the table as he let himself think about it—about you. The way you’d look up at him when you thought he wasn’t paying attention, the way your cheeks flushed whenever he praised your work, the way you stumbled over your words in meetings but always managed to recover with a thoughtful, intelligent point.

And then there was his reaction to it all. How his gaze would linger on you longer than it should. How your shy smile had a way of softening the edges of his day. How, against his better judgment, he found himself looking forward to the moments you shared, no matter how brief or inconsequential they might have seemed.

He sighed, leaning back in the chair. He’d spent so long guarding himself, compartmentalizing his emotions to stay focused on the job. But with you, those walls had started to crack, whether he wanted to admit it or not. Your presence had a way of grounding him, reminding him that there was still room for warmth and connection in his life.

Later that evening, Hotch was in his office, going over the case files, when a knock at the door pulled him from his thoughts.

“Come in,” he called, expecting one of the team.

Instead, it was you. You stepped inside hesitantly, your file folder clutched to your chest like a shield. “I just wanted to apologize,” you said softly, not meeting his eyes. “Again. For earlier.”

“There’s no need to apologize,” Hotch said, his tone gentle as he set the file aside. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

You hesitated, your gaze flickering to his before darting away again. “I just—I don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.”

Hotch stood and rounded the desk, leaning against the edge of it as he regarded you carefully. “You haven’t made me uncomfortable. If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

That made you look up, confusion flickering across your face. “What? Why?”

“Because I’ve noticed,” he said, his voice low but steady. “I’ve noticed the way you look at me. The way you try to hide it. And I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make you feel self-conscious. But I also didn’t want to admit to myself that I’ve been doing the same thing.”

Your breath hitched, your eyes widening as his words sank in. “You... what?”

Hotch offered a small, almost hesitant smile. “I’ve been trying to ignore it. To convince myself that it’s unprofessional or impractical. But the truth is, I feel it too.”

For a moment, the room was silent, the weight of his confession hanging in the air between you. He could see the disbelief in your expression, the way you seemed to be processing his words in real time.

“I don’t know where this goes,” Hotch continued, his tone careful but sincere. “But I do know that I don’t want to keep pretending I don’t feel something when I do.”

You stared at him, your grip on the file loosening slightly. “I didn’t think... I mean, I never thought you’d...”

“I know,” he said gently. “I haven’t exactly made it easy to tell.”

A small, tentative smile broke across your face, and Hotch felt a warmth spread through him at the sight. It was as if some unspoken weight had lifted, leaving room for something lighter, something brighter.

“I guess we’re both bad at this,” you said softly, your voice carrying a hint of shy humor.

Hotch chuckled, the sound low and warm. “Maybe. But we can figure it out.”

You nodded, the tension in your shoulders easing as your smile grew. “Okay.”

For the first time in a long time, Aaron Hotchner allowed himself to feel the full weight of hope, the possibility of something beyond the job, beyond the walls he’d built around himself. And as he watched you leave his office, your steps lighter than before, he couldn’t help but think that this—whatever it was—might just be worth the risk.

Tag List:

@zaddyhotch

@estragos

@todorokishoe24

@looking1016

@khxna

@rousethemouse

@averyhotchner

@reidfile

@bernelflo

@lover-of-books-and-tea

@frickin-bats

@sleepysongbirdsings

@justyourusualash

[avokaidoll]

⑅ Self Discipline ⑅

Self-discipline is like having a personal cheerleader in your head, helping you stay focused and achieve your goals. It's the ability to control and direct yourself, making choices that align with your long-term objectives rather than giving in to immediate impulses. Think of it as the secret sauce for personal growth, productivity, and success. It involves setting priorities, making conscious decisions, and consistently putting in effort to reach your desired outcomes. Self-discipline empowers you to stay on track, overcome challenges, and ultimately become the best version of yourself.

Let's break down the essence of self-discipline in dfrnt aspects of your life

1. Morning Routine Magic:

Your morning routine is like crafting a daily sanctuary. Beyond skincare, imagine incorporating moments of tranquility like yoga or a quick workout. It's not just a checklist; it's setting the stage for a day of conquering.

2. To-Do List Love:

Your to-do list is a dynamic tool, more than a mere inventory of tasks. It's a glam planner, outlining your roadmap to success. Writing down your ambitions transforms them into tangible goals, making the conquest all the more empowering.

3. Snack on Goals, Not Junk:

Goals aren't just targets; they're your daily sustenance. Instead of mindless snacking, consider each accomplished task as a delicious victory bite, satisfying your hunger for achievement.

4. Wardrobe Power Moves:

Dressing for success isn't a superficial act; it's about embodying confidence. Your outfit becomes a statement, shaping your mindset for the day. It's akin to wearing a tangible boost of self-assurance. I want you to wear for the day you want, not the day you have !!!

5. Breaks Aren't Breakdowns:

Taking breaks is a strategic recharge, not a sign of weakness. It's not about slacking off but strategically powering up. These moments are not breakdowns; they are breakthroughs, allowing you to return with renewed sparkle. So don't beat yourself up when your really need the rest :)

6. Learn, Don't Stress:

In the face of challenges, see them as opportunities for growth. Self-discipline is not a pursuit of perfection but a commitment to a journey of continual learning. Remember, nobody is born with all the answers; it's about evolving.

7. Consistency is the Glow-Up Secret:

Consistency is more than a routine; it's the highlighter of your life's narrative. It infuses your journey with an extra pop, turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. Even on tough days, maintaining consistency becomes your guiding light.

8. Celebrate Small Wins:

Every step toward your goals, irrespective of size, is a cause for celebration. It's not just recognizing achievements; it's throwing a confetti party for yourself. Celebrate not just the destination but the entire journey.

9. Consistent Routine:

Envision self-discipline as a daily sanctuary, akin to your skincare routine. Skipping it is like neglecting a crucial step in your beauty ritual. Embrace it daily for a consistent, empowering glow.

10. Setting Goals:

Picture self-discipline as the GPS that is guiding you to your dreams. Establish small, attainable goals as waypoints on your journey. These goals serve as markers, leading you steadily toward your grand aspirations.

11. Prioritizing Tasks:

Think of self-discipline as your wise older sister, advising you on what truly matters. Prioritize tasks that contribute to your glow-up, whether it's acquiring a new skill or taking care of your well-being.

12. Resisting Temptations:

It's important to saying no to that extra slice of cake when you know you're full. Self-discipline aids in resisting temptations that might divert you from your goals, whether it's procrastination or unhealthy habits.

13. Building Habits:

Like establishing a routine of daily water intake, self-discipline helps in cultivating positive habits. These habits become second nature, contributing to your overall well-being and success.

14. Time Management:

Imagine self-discipline as a magical time-turner. It assists in managing your time wisely, allowing you to balance academics, self-care, and the pursuit of your passions effectively.

15. Learning from Mistakes:

Self-discipline is forgiving; it encourages learning from mistakes rather than dwelling on them. It's a compassionate guide, acknowledging that growth comes from understanding and overcoming challenges.

16. Celebrating Achievements:

Consider self-discipline your personal cheerleader. It not only recognizes but actively celebrates your achievements, big or small, in your journey of self-improvement and success.

Visualize self-discipline as your personal superhero cape, guiding you through the journey of glowing up and being super productive. You're on the path to becoming a true girlboss.

Keep shining doll !

Xoxo signing off,

Angela ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡

ps: this is my first post I hope it was informative enough as I am also in my own journey of being better mentally and physically and I see self discipline as something essential for that to happen.

[skythealmighty]

Wheel, the Paranoid: An in-depth scene-by-scene character analysis

"We aren't so much angry as very, very worried." - The School of Life

TL;DR: Wheel is not as mean or as angry as he seems on the surface; in fact, he's decently logical, but also paranoid and often worried about things everyone else brushes off! He covers up his fear with anger, and doesn't actually hate anyone (though he does have a sort of rivalry with WWFT). He also has a penchant for fairness in most things, doesn't like killing, and probably feels guilty over Felt Container's elimination. Most importantly though, he's distrusted Clock since the beginning, holding firm in his belief that something about this was very off- and unfortunately for him, was only proven right after he was eliminated. All in all, he's a very interesting character overall, not just because of his elimination scene!

FAIR WARNING: The full analysis below the cut is over four thousand words. There's no content warnings, but it's very, very long without any pictures. Have fun lol

IT’S TIME FOR THE [1:00] - Who’s Jason??

1:30 - “I’m having a weird feeling about today, a feeling that… something’s going to happen. Something bad’s going to happen!”

Note the panicked expression, and the worried expression that follows when Felt Container brushes him off. His first instinct is to look at the sky, too- maybe that’s paranoia, but he was the first one to notice Clock. And sure, he’s a bit mean about it, but it feels like he’s genuinely trying to warn Felt Container about whatever’s coming.

1:59 - “AHHHH! WHAT IS THAT!”

Probably the most reasonable reaction to a being like Clock appearing out of nowhere. He also seems to try and maybe scare Clock away? 

2:11 - “WHO ARE YOU?!” “Ha! Hi. My name is C.L.O.C.K.: Thing That You Tell The Time ohhh wait my name is not an acronym.” “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US?”

Figuring out motives. He clearly doesn’t trust Clock immediately (good, but also furthers my earlier maybe-point about paranoia). Notice how he says “us” and not “me”, meaning he’s saying this for everyone (whether they would think to or not).

2:28 - “Okay, I’m in!” and 2:47 

In both of these instances, he’s the only one with a different expression from the rest. Narrowed eyebrows at the premise of a competition show (2:28), and disbelief (negative) at the prize (2:47). I don’t think he went “WOOOHOOOO” with everyone else- and he still clearly doesn’t trust Clock. Not yet.

3:06 - [The whole sequence leading up to the first intro]

I feel bad for him here; he looks genuinely afraid, especially when he gets closer to the ground. He still looks angry, but- well, he’s definitely more afraid than properly angry.

4:45 - “Dang, if only you were like a street lamp or crossing signal or something, would have had a cool team name idea for that.”

While No Way and 57 Ball are occupied with that conversation, Wheel looks offscreen. There’s no way of knowing where he’s looking, but from context clues, it would make a lot of sense if he was keeping an eye on Clock, given his immediate reaction to them. He only actually talks when it’s almost the very end of the time, and… it’s a BFB reference. I don’t know if this was a conscious decision by Wheel or just a reference for reference's sake, but it feels like he pulled the first thing that came to mind to pretend he was participating. (The nervous tone makes me think that he could be afraid of Clock doing something to him for not saying anything.)

6:47 - [Wheel pacing]

Okay, he says he’s doing the challenge here, but he’s more likely just panicking and saying he’s doing the challenge to cover that up. 

8:36 - “Team Earth! Where is your card?” “I KICKED IT!” “He kicked it.”

I’m probably reading into this way too much, but when he’s shaking (or vibrating intensely), it’s pretty clear that he really REALLY does NOT like Clock. (Either that or he’s hiding fear with anger.)

9:35 - “NOOO! That’s not fair, I demand that you host a second challenge, so that we can RIGHTFULLY see who-”

On the surface, this sounds like bratty whining, or nitpicking, but with the context of future episodes this could easily be read as Wheel being afraid of being UFE. After all, a wheel is random, and his team could be picked, even if they did the challenge. (This could also be read as proof for him actually caring a lot about fairness- more on that later.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [2:00] - Best Source For Weather Information

0:30 - “I’m already out man… anyways, it says next up is Words With Friends Tile.” “LET’S GOOO!” “Wait a minute. H- HE DOESN’T HAVE ANY EYEESS!”

Very small and unserious moment, but another point to the “Wheel caring about fairness” chart. Someone without eyes could very easily win a staring contest, after all. (Of course then he gets into a fight with WWFT, but from the cartoon SFX and the blank stares afterward, this is probably lighthearted and maybe even a common occurrence.)

1:33 - “Yes!! I can’t wait to beat ALL OF YOU IN THE NEXT CHALLENGE!”

This sounds like a brag or a taunt (and in part it probably is), but after seeing this scene multiple times his expression seems over-dramatized… is that the word I’m looking for? Exaggerated. It’s likely he doesn’t actually mean it. (And then the intro sequence happens and he sounds equal parts nervous and annoyed at being picked up. It’s probably less surprising the second time.)

3:48 - “THERE’S NO MORE TEAMS! There’s no more teams!”

Unimportant detail but Wheel is glaring a bit at WWFT and then in the next scene glaring at him even harder (and vibrating in anger), probably because of the fight earlier. Silly little thing I wanna point out!

4:39 - “This doesn’t seem very fair…” “Sure it is!” “Oh okay!” “What.” “Well it ISN’T fair!! None of us even know how to DO the challenge!”

Another point for Wheel caring about fairness! Even when No Way blindly accepts Clock’s response to No Way’s point, Wheel challenges it in his friend’s (?) stead, and then points out another unfair aspect right afterwards. Of course, after his nitpick is fixed, he declares himself hyped for the challenge- this I believe easily, though, since he seems like the athletic type and likely finds this sort of thing cool.

5:15 - [Wheel, 57 Ball and Refill Station doing the challenge]

More proof to Wheel caring about rules- he doesn’t react to Refill Station at all, but he glares at 57 Ball when he sees him rolling on the rail instead of grinding with a board like the rest of them. 

7:14 - “Whuh!? One spot left??” [Vase shatters] “OUT OF MY WAY! HUFF HUFF HUFFF HUFF HUUAGHH I’m gonna make it!!” [Portal appears] “Huh?” “Yes! I’m out!” “WATCH OUT!”

Important moment, in my perspective. It furthers my theory of him being afraid of being UFE, since immediately after Clock mentions there’s only one spot left, he rushes forward recklessly enough to injure Vase. I’m not exactly sure if he really meant to do that, though, because he tries to warn Green before a scenario that’s sure to (and did) kill him. That’s his first kill, actually, if I remember correctly- despite him seeming mean, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he pretends he is.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [3:00] - Next

0:58 - “Welcome back Pool Ball, Orange and Tire-” “DON’T CALL ME THAT!” “Okay!” “Wait last ti- huhhh???” “We lost the challenge, genius, I’m getting pretty used to this already.” “YOU… you’re the reason I LOST THE CHA-”

It’s not just me, right? Wheel seems extremely high-strung here- yelling immediately after only one minor button was pressed (Clock using the wrong name). From experience with my brother, I can see this being caused by one of two reasons- either he’s overwhelmed, or he’s guilty… or both. After all, he’s up for elimination, and he just accidentally killed someone. He actually seems to be mildly shocked at Green until Green snarks at him, which is when he snaps at him and accuses him of making him lose. I don’t think he actually blames Green- this feels more like a knee-jerk reaction.

1:20 - “GO AHEAD, DO IT!! JUST DO IT ALR-”

He’s definitely used to the intro sequence and hates it, but this feels like a massive overreaction- adding to my theory of him being on edge. He snaps at Green with a threat when he slams him into the ground a few times (maybe as revenge for Wheel killing him) and laughs at him, probably because Green is exacerbating the situation and adding to his stress.

2:11 - “Luck?? LUCK? I DON’T NEED LUCK!”

If I could guess what he would say next, it would be: “I NEED TO BE SAFE!” Uh… that’s my only comment for this bit, other than yep, I still think he’s tense.

3:09 - “You almost killed me, how did you get so many votes?!” “And I’ll do it again if it means people like me!!”

To be blunt, this feels almost like a confession. I don’t think he’s talking about his fellow contestants here, he’s talking about the voters- he needs their favoritism to be safe from elimination, and he’s willing to go pretty far for that. The game is picking up, the stakes are getting higher, and things are getting more intense. I don’t think he dislikes Vase or has anything against her, he’s just being honest. He also seems to be getting more into the game now, his competitive nature arising- despite his distrust towards Clock, he’s far more willing to play their game now that he’s won a few challenges.

5:31 - [Wheel getting water from Refill Station, then getting scared by Clock] “Water bubbler is NOT allowed, that’d be way too easy!” “Wait, what’d you just call me??” “You just SAID ‘get you a cup of water’.” “Yeah, it’s supposed to be a challenge, go on and-” “Hey, I have a cup of water for you Clock.” “...YES!!”

This is a long quote, but all of it is needed for the context. Wheel is taking the easy route here, rushing ahead of everyone else to do so before they think of it- he cares about fairness, but at the time of him getting the water, Clock hadn’t said it was against the rules yet. He’s sort of exploiting a loophole- which fits his admission earlier about being willing to do whatever to keep the audience on his side, just in this case pertaining to his willingness to take the easy route so he can be safe as fast as possible. (Also, his confident “heh, too easy” afterwards feels to me more like an expression of relief than a brag, but it is kind of both.)

6:12 - “Are you sure? It seems like people are already on their way to that lake over there, we gotta be quick.”

Wheel only has a very short (and easily missable) appearance here, but even though he’s safe, he’s keeping an eye on the game rather than relaxing elsewhere. This will be brought up soon.

6:48 - “I’ll be taking this!!”

Honestly, this whole sequence confused me a lot at first, kind of contradicting most of the assumptions I made about Wheel from 1:00 and 2:00. After a lot of consideration, though, I think I’ve come to a reasonable enough theory: he could have made this decision by taking inspiration from Snowball, who he’s quoted before and kind of tries to take after in terms of gameplay. After all, Snowball made it surprisingly far acting this way, and he does not want to be eliminated. This theory depends on whether or not BFDI as a franchise exists in ITFT’s world, though. (There are other theories I have, but they don’t hold a lot of water. This scene still kind of confuses me.)

IT’S TIME FOR THE [4:00] - Do NOT Use The Popcorn Button

1:02 - [Wheel revived] “...youuu don’t have anything to say this time?” [ `,:[ ] “Hm…”

It’s official, he’s used to (and REALLY tired of) the intro sequence. Also, the last few times he actually said anything before the intro, it didn’t exactly help his case, so he might as well just let it happen. He’s definitely not happy about it, though.

1:39 - “One two three four… I thought I put four of you up for elimination this time!”

His expressions here… sorry I don’t have anything to say it’s just. Boy why you so ò៱ó

1:59 - “I shouldn’t BE HERE, I didn’t even lose the last challenge!!” “Why don’t you just… leave then?” “You don’t WANT me here?” “No! No, I didn’t say tha-”

This feels like half catastrophizing and half playing into the Snowball role (as per my earlier theory). He doesn’t want to be at the elimination area, but he doesn’t want to be told to go away, either. Furthermore, I think his frustration here was aimed at Clock, not any of the others, but he had a knee-jerk reaction when No Way interrupted what might have turned out to be a rant.

2:07 - “You’re a loser brah-” “YOU’RE A LOSERRrrrr for the sake of my safety, I will try to use, nicer words.” “...okay?” [PUNT]

I’m not exactly sure how much beef Wheel has with WWFT, but it definitely feels like an ongoing thing- maybe a rivalry or something similar. He was very quick to fight him even before he started acting meaner, after all- and that at least explains him punting WWFT. As for the “for the sake of my safety” part, after a second glance, it’s likely he means safety during elimination, seeing as he looks directly at the camera (fourth wall?) right after he says this. (It seems, to me, that he already assumes he’s going to be up for elimination, and in danger because of this.)

3:54 - “Wellllll next safe is Wheel!! With 0 votes!” “...you’re… serious..?”

Okay this isn’t important at all but it’s really silly. I just wanted to put it here

4:02 - “NO! Let me do the rest of them, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

The thing about this is, he’s right. I have no way of knowing if he’s just trying to insult Clock here or something else, but I feel like this has a double meaning. Clock doesn’t know what they’re doing, and Wheel is aware of this- possibly because of previous eliminations- and his point is proven later by Clock quite literally admitting they don’t know what happens with the eliminated contestants as Green is turned into a radio. (Also, him calling WWFT “Words With STUPID Tile” is pretty funny, and a point towards the two of them having some sort of rivalry?)

5:18 - “Wheel, I think you permanently killed Polka Dot.” “Okayy, wasn’t me- no, really! It was Vase!”

Part of this feels like him defending himself in front of the viewers (plus it almost looks like he’s looking at the camera at 5:23), and the other part feels like he’s defending himself to everyone else, particularly No Way, maybe because the two of them have so far a neutral/positive relationship. Besides, he’s right- Vase was the one who had the idea for the Sun to shoot fireballs at Wheel and the cloud, even if Wheel did cause the cloud thing in the first place. He’s not the one who killed everyone through that.

6:00 - “Here are your teams for this challenge! And only this challenge!!” “Wow, uneven teams again? Huh.”

Another point for Wheel and WWFT having a rivalry- as soon as it’s confirmed that they’re on the same team, Wheel glares at WWFT with balled fists. Also, unlike in [1:00], Wheel no longer has an angry expression in the zoom-out- he does look mildly upset, but it’s more like he’s resigned, almost. He’s getting used to the game and Clock.

6:13 - “Can we name our teams??” “NO!” [ :( ] “...whatever, fine-”

I’m not sure exactly why he immediately says “no” (it could be for a multitude of reasons- playing into the Snowball act, or maybe it’s because he’s aware that the teams will only last for one episode), but the backtracking after Refill Station looks sad doesn’t feel as begrudging as it might seem- he plays the mean act, but he clearly feels a little bad about making RF sad. (I hate to compare this to the tsundere trope but honestly… this is a very tsundere thing to do. You know I’m right.)

6:44 - “WHAT IS THAT?!” “Yo, I think that’s Polka Dot!” “Oh hello Polka Dot!!” “Chill, chill, wait waitwaitwaitwaAAAAAAAAA-”

It’s the exact same panic that Wheel had upon Clock suddenly appearing, down to the words! The difference is, he doesn’t seem to try and hide that panic here, expression genuinely afraid as he looks between WWFT and Refill Station (neither of whom are panicking), and his default angry expression (the same one when he was dropped before the first intro) only returns when the polka dot void starts to spin them around. Once again, he’s worried when no one else is, just like in [1:00]. (It almost feels like his panic is exaserbated by the fact that he’s the only one panicking- they should be worried, why are they just accepting this?)

6:54 - “Come on guys, do the challenge!” “DON’T YOU THINK WE SHOULD SORT THIS OUT?!” “Nooo, no it’s fine!” “!lennahc eht egnahC !lennahc eht egnahC !LENNAHC EHT EGNAHC” “Actually, nevermind, uhh… yeah, let’s… let’s do the challenge. GO!”

Proving my last point, he immediately points out that yeah, maybe they should do something about the weird thing that just appeared; looking frustrated when Refill Station brushes him off, similar to when Felt Container brushed him off in [1:00]. He’s not so much angry as he is worried and frustrated that nobody seems to be validating his worry. However, when the polka dot void starts acting weird and speaking in reverse, he begins to look afraid again and starts trying to get Refill Station away from it. Though he’s clearly still a bit upset that no one’s doing anything about it, he realizes that it’s dangerous and then tries to protect himself (and others) by picking his battles and getting his current teammate away from the danger. Once again, it’s clear he’s not the antagonist he sometimes pretends to be- why would he do this if he didn’t care?

7:37 - “I mean we have so many loaves of bread, we could just mash all of em together into a nice bread structure, what do you guys think?” “Yeah!” “SIIIKE! AHAHAHAHA-”

This daydream seems kind of significant to me because of the people he’s thinking of in it- Polka Dot, Green, and Felt Container. Polka Dot is currently missing, and he was just recently accused of permanently killing her (also, the polka dot void could have reminded him of her); Green is someone he accidentally killed in [2:00], despite him trying to warn him; and finally, Felt Container is the first person he went to when he felt that something was off in [1:00], and who was eliminated the next episode. Given the pattern of Polka Dot and Green being people he had a hand in killing, this could mean he feels he’s at fault for Felt Container being eliminated and assumedly killed. (In fact, he could have even seen that elimination, but there’s no way of knowing if he did or didn’t.) Something, something, survivor’s guilt…

8:39 - “Oh, it’s you again. You trying to steal our idea??? Huh?? HM?!” “Bro, chill out. It’s literally Polka Dot.” “Oh YEAH?? Well, can you explain what THIS is??”

First, he doesn’t seem particularly enthused that they’re all back by the polka dot void, especially since earlier he was trying to get Refill Station away from it. Him ‘accusing’ the polka dot void feels kind of just like a silly joke, but it could also be him proving he’s not afraid of it or something- either way, though, he clearly doesn’t believe that it’s Polka Dot. (He also looks afraid/shocked when Polka Dot shows up in the thought bubble, a similar shock to when he first saw Green after he died. Just pointing that out.)

9:11 - “GUYS! I figured out what we can do!! We can combine all of our ideas!”

It feels like he’s somewhat abandoned the Snowball route by now- and also, he looks almost genuinely excited (or maybe proud) when he suggests this. Maybe he’s just excited that he’s sure his idea will win them the challenge, but to me it feels like he’s happy he realized a solution that could include all of the team. (He definitely cares.)

10:10 - “Didn’t you say this WASN’T a cooking challenge?” “This is nowww a cooking challenge!” 

Yet another point to Wheel caring about fairness- he immediately points out Clock contradicting what they said about the challenge when it was announced, because it now suddenly being a cooking challenge is unfair.

10:38 - “TRUST me Clock! I’ve had it, it’s very good. Yep! …ehh, actually, that can stay right there.��

He’s hyping up his team’s creation, or at least trying to, to possibly give them a better chance at winning the challenge. This could just be for his own sake, but I’m willing to believe it’s for the whole team’s sake too. (He definitely doesn’t want to be up for elimination, though.)

10:54 - “Vote for one of the members of eeuughhh-”

Pay attention to Wheel’s expressions here. Immediately, he first looks nervous on first showing up on the elimination screen. Then, he looks surprised and then mildly suspicious of Clock being there, followed by slightly startling at Clock disappearing from the spot he was looking at. He looks at Polka Dot a little sadly, and then at the screen, worried but resigned. To me, this mainly feels like he’s nervous about his fate at the hands of the viewers (though honestly, he has been this whole episode), but also guilty at possibly killing Polka Dot from the look he gives her- or sympathetic to her mild panic, since she seems to silently apologize for appearing to squish Clock. (I’m not wholly sure why in between those, he gives Clock such a distrusting squint- at least not specifically, since I stand by the fact that he’s been distrusting of the host since the beginning.) Whatever the case, this whole sequence says a lot about Wheel to me, even if it’s just from his expressions.

IT’S TIME FOR THE [5:00] - Fifty-Seven Tears Of The Star

0:56 - “Speaking of the elimination… I think… I wouldn’t mind, a bit of a delay?” “Oh, you scared or somethin’?” “NO, no, I just think… we should look for Tile!” […] “NO, YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT ‘CAUSE YOU’RE SAFE!!” […] “Know what? SHUT UP! Y- y- man- I’m- I’ma do my own thing.”

That’s pretty clearly a boldfaced lie. He’s been afraid of being eliminated from the start, and especially last episode. I don’t even need to analyze this deeply at all- it’s clear to everyone, even the other contestants, that he’s lying. He just doesn’t want to seem scared, so he covers it up with anger. This has been a pattern since [1:00]; it’s just much more obvious now.

2:48 - “RRRAAH I hate those guys, I hate the GRASS, I hate the SKY, I hate the AIR, I hate the TIME- oh… hm.” “You hate what?” “YOU.” “You… hate me?” “YES. …here we go again.”

Notice how fast he’s speaking in the beginning. To me, it sounds like rambling for the sake of rambling- he’s frustrated and afraid, and he doesn’t know how to get it out properly, so he does this mini-tantrum. I don’t think he means most of what he says there- when kids react like this, they often don’t either- but I do think he means it when he says it to Clock. He’s never liked Clock, this is just the first time he’s openly saying it.

3:10 - “Oh my, please be sure to watch where you’re bouncing, you could have hurt somebody!” “WHO IS THAT-”

Well, isn’t this familiar? This is the same reaction he’s had to Clock- just less intense. This could indicate that he’s not just untrusting of Clock in particular, he’s wary of all strangers. Unsurprising, considering what I’ve analyzed already, but still worth noting. I could also be reading into this too far and he’s just confused, though. (Also, WWFT does an L dance at Wheel, that’s hilarious.)

3:40 - “EXPLAIN. NOW.” “I don’t know anything about that!” “CLOCK.”

As far as I can tell, he’s confused, so he wants answers and goes to the nearest person he can trust (No Way) and then to the host, who probably SHOULD know the answer. It’s not clear whether this is from distrust of Well, or just him panicking, but honestly it could be both.

4:06 - “Oh nonono end this nightmare, one Clock is ENOUGH!”

Okay, well, this is really funny, but also adds on to the fact that Wheel does not like Clock at all. He even sounds a little afraid here- which could be partly because it’s the elimination and he’s just generally nervous, though it would make sense if after all that’s happened he did fear Clock.

5:20 - “[Not like you’ll be around to hear more, bruh, you’re just kinda stupid, like. Overall.]”

At first, I thought this might have been a flashback of things he’d heard before, but more likely WWFT is saying these things in real-time and Wheel is just halfway tuning it out. (This confirms that WWFT and Wheel have a negative relationship, at least.) As for why he’s tuning it out, he seems sort of… pensive, almost. Lamenting. He knows he’s going to be eliminated (he has for a couple hours, at this point), he just kind of doesn’t want to hear it from somebody he clearly dislikes. It’s also possible he’s worrying about what will happen to him. (He could also be thinking about what WWFT just said earlier about 57, but that’s less likely.)

5:32 - “One… one… one, wh- NO-!” “AaaaAAA any final words, Wheel?” “I’m so mad at ALL OF YOU I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU MADE ME LOSE THE CHALLENGE!”

And here it is, the moment he knew was coming. He’s panicked, now, and doesn’t try to hide it, before reacting in the easiest way he knows how- blame, anger. He’s scared, and lashes out because of it, possibly falling back into the Snowball strategy on instinct. He still doesn’t mean any of it, though, as proven by what happens next:

5:43 - “Okay… I… do have a few final words, actually. The Sun, keep doing what you’re doing, you could be an absolute challenge BEAST!” “Thank you!” “Refill Station, you really just need to calm down sometimes.” “Oh my, I love this place, I love the grass, I love the sky! I love the- NEW FRIENDS!!” “What is even happening?” “You are the FINAL member left on our original team and I want you to know that I wish you luck!” “Oh! Thanks…”

This? He means this. This isn’t just him talking to team members, either- he’d never been teamed with the Sun. To the Sun, he encourages, to Refill Station, he gives advice, and to No Way, he wishes luck. In fact, I even think he had more to say, Clock just interrupted him! He cares, and though he’s used to being the mean one, he wants to make sure the people he likes know this before he’s gone, even if it ruins his image. (After all, he won’t get another chance to.) In this moment, he’s letting himself be vulnerable- something he hasn’t done since the start, and maybe even since before then- and it’s important. This is the crown of his arc. This is who Wheel really is behind all the anger and fear. (It’s just a little sad that he only feels like he can and has to do this when he has no time left.)

6:07 - “So… what now?”

The end. He’s hurting, and terrified, and yet his default response is a furrowed brow- he hides his fear with an angry expression. Even at the very end, he kicks and fights and bares his teeth. (No Way and Refill Station look distraught while they have to watch. No Way even reaches out to him, as if to help.) With everything we know now, this is honestly heartbreaking, but at least I can say his last actions proved my point:

Wheel wasn’t mean or evil. He was scared. And he had every right to be.

Thanks for reading!

[magentagalaxies]

"tour of duty" (the filmed version of their 2002 tour) in general is just kind of a bizarre point for kids in the hall that i haven't really talked to any of them about but is hard not to notice when you look at their entire canon. like it's certainly good - there are some tour-original sketches that i highly enjoy and some live versions of filmed sketches that take a fun creative spin on it, but in general things just feel noticeably strange.

buddy cole specifically tells the fur trappers to "fuck off" (buddy very rarely swears and across all the buddy material i've watched for the documentary he's only said "fuck" 3 times across forty years). danny husk wins an award for being a high school vice principal and at&love isn't acknowledged in the bit. the "is he?" sketch has been revised to pack in as many euphemisms for gay as possible, putting the bit on top of another bit. and of course i have my chicken lady thoughts but i don't want to bias anyone else bc i genuinely want to know what your takes are before i share mine.

and again these aren't all bad choices - i think the danny husk vice principal monologue works really well and may not work as well as a different character despite contradicting the Husk Lore™️. but they're all very distinctive choices

idk there's two reasons i personally give for why tour of duty is so strange (to me at least, maybe other people don't notice). the first is that it comes less than 3 years after their other tour-film, the 1999/2000 tour "same guys new dresses" (also available on youtube!) i fucking love SGND and i'll be up front that it's my preferred kith tour video. but part of what makes SGND so special is that it's not just a recording of the live show, it's a full tour documentary following the guys traveling across the country performing together, occasionally showing full sketches but also delving into the stories behind why the sketches played out the way they did. and, sure, sometimes that means cutting out a sketch that i wish i could've seen in full (rip power of the suburbs) but my life is so much better for having seen the "laser eye surgery gossip" or knowing how much drama that goddamn robot-dog-prop caused.

so to then see tour of duty as a straight-up recording of the live show leaves that element of mystery, that we don't get to know why choices were made because we only see the end result. there was a conscious decision not to shoot tour of duty like SGND - the tour doc didn't do well financially, and they also had more of a reason to document that tour since it was their first time working together since the disastrous fallout of "brain candy," and first big national tour since the show ended. the circumstances were just very different

and that's true both personally and politically bc the second suspected reason for tour of duty's weird tone is you can obviously tell 9/11 just happened. two sketches directly reference it - bruce and mark's businessman characters sell scam patriotic products that are all just a rubber band, and buddy cole visits the middle east and ends up having sex with saddam hussein (tho fun fact this concept was written BEFORE 9/11). but the event casts an obvious shadow, especially since both the buddy cole bit and the danny husk monologue were recycled pieces from scott's cancelled one-man-show which was set to debut in new york city on september 19th 2001.

it's also interesting comparing this to SGND. the late 90s are often remembered through rose-tinted glasses due to a generally good economy in the united states and a lot of the social tensions with disenfranchised groups still bubbling under the surface rather than being talked about openly. SGND doesn't reference contemporary events much, but the closure of AT&Love from the KITH finale is undone since the economy has re-entered "rock-on fashion," and buddy cole comments on the Y2K computer bug being underwhelming. (i also went on a super long tangent on how the original show reflected the socioeconomic climate of the 90s but that's a whole other topic i need to go to bed)

i don't know how the KITH feel about "tour of duty." i can't know how much this strangeness was felt for them backstage, and i think in some regards it can only be picked up on as an outsider, albeit an outsider who has watched so much KITH content to know how their work evolved even when not on television. all in all, i'm glad "tour of duty" exists and even the swings that didn't really land for me are still admirable as creative choices.

it's also cool to analyze as someone who has now been to a KITH live show over 2 decades later and got to see those behind-the-scenes conversations play out. the bellini benefit also featured a lot of strangeness, caused by a limited rehearsal schedule and one of the cast members being unable to attend due to illness, but they absolutely exceeded these limitations to put on a very fun show. we did film the performance and rehearsals and that show is going to be released eventually (i'm not in charge of it but the person who is also works on the buddy cole doc so i'm involved). i don't know if it's going to be presented more like SGND or tour of duty or something completely different, but it'll be cool to be part of KITH live show canon

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Gekirock - Uruha & Kai interview (2021)

The New 10th Album and a Message for the Present Day, Released After Nearly Three Years! "What We’re Always Conscious of, at the Core, is the Live Show."

The long-anticipated full album MASS from the GazettE has finally arrived, marking nearly three years since their last release, NINTH. What’s more, this new work is their 10th studio album. Following the cancellation of their milestone 18th anniversary live concert last spring due to the pandemic, the band has been working steadily behind the scenes. This production involved significant online collaboration, a necessity of the times. The completed album is imbued with meaningful messages reflective of this unique era. Naturally, the release of such a monumental work raises expectations for live performances. Stay tuned for future announcements!

Interviewer: It has been almost three years since your last album, NINTH (released in 2018), and now you’ve completed MASS. Could you first reflect on the journey the GazettE has taken over this time?

KAI: After releasing NINTH, we spent quite a lot of time on an extensive tour, so a significant portion of our efforts as a band went into that.

URUHA: We were touring on and off for over a year, after all.

Interviewer: Indeed, starting with the hall tour PHASE #01-PHENOMENON in July 2018, followed by the standing tour PHASE #02-ENHANCEMENT, the live house tour PHASE #03 -Passion is Ferocious, the world tour PHASE #04 -99.999-, the Japan homecoming semi-final performance PHASE #05 -Mixed-Blood, and the FINAL NINTH LIVE AT 09.23 YOKOHAMA ARENA in September 2019—this LIVE TOUR spanned 61 performances, covering not only Japan but North America, South America, Europe, Asia—a truly massive undertaking.

KAI: Yes, and since it’s hard for us to mentally shift toward starting new material until after the tour is fully completed, this album’s creation followed the same process as usual—beginning about a year after the tour ended.

Interviewer: So when did the band—or even the individual members—begin to form a vision for MASS, even vaguely?

URUHA: The vision became clearer as we progressed with production. There wasn’t any rush to establish a clear direction; instead, we took the time to carefully discuss and decide on our next steps together.

KAI: By the end of 2019, we held our first song selection meeting. After a series of discussions, we gradually narrowed it down, eventually settling on the 11 tracks included in this album.

Interviewer: On March 10 of last year, during what was likely the middle of your album production period, the 18th-anniversary live show “18TH ANNIVERSARY DAY/6576” was originally scheduled to take place at the Musashino Forest Sport Plaza Main Arena. However, the GazettE made the decision to cancel the event after carefully assessing the situation, even before the first state of emergency declaration was issued. After that, it seemed like the band's activities went completely silent. While I assume you were focusing on creating MASS behind the scenes, why didn’t you opt for the types of outreach many artists were doing at the time, like audience-free streaming concerts or video uploads on YouTube?

URUHA: That’s simply because we had already planned to enter the album production phase at that point.

KAI: Actually, we had our second song selection meeting even before March 10. After that, we stopped production temporarily to switch into live mode and started preparing for the anniversary concert. Unfortunately, it ended up being canceled. So, once that was decided, we just returned to production as planned.

Interviewer: I see. When did you actually start recording?

KAI: We recorded in multiple phases, and the first session was last summer. At that time, we recorded just one track, the lead tune of the album, BLINDING HOPE.

Interviewer: Speaking of BLINDING HOPE, could you share why this particular song was chosen as the lead track for the album?

URUHA: It was a song RUKI (vocals) wrote and presented right from the start saying “this has to be the lead.” When we listened to it, it had a convincing impact and a strong presence that made it clear it was perfect as the lead track. All the members agreed on that point without hesitation.

KAI: This isn’t specific to this album; RUKI always thinks about it holistically and presents the main song and album title at the same time. We listened to his thoughts on that and respected his wishes as we continued to produce the album.

Interviewer: From the perspective of each player, what kind of sound did you think needed to be captured for the lead tune, BLINDING HOPE?

KAI: The phrases were already quite developed in the original composition, so I just added some of my own arrangements here and there. As for the sound, it wasn’t just about my approach as a drummer. Instead, we started from the question, “What sound should the band aim for next?” and built from there.

Interviewer: I'm really curious about what kind of conversations you had within the band when you were searching for this "next sound we should aim for."

KAI: Each of us brought up different reference points, including sounds from various international artists, we did talk about wanting to aim for something that focused on a fairly natural sound at first. I think that was because we were conscious of going in the opposite direction to our previous album, NINTH.

Interviewer: When comparing MASS with NINTH, the difference is striking. NINTH had a densely packed, almost enclosed soundscape, but in this album, even the sound of the kick drum seems to carry more resonance and a sense of space.

KAI: At first, we were even saying, “Should we just go back to recording normally for once?” But after further consideration, we decided to stick with the same separate recording method we used in the previous album. Of course, we used samples for some of the sounds, but one of the key changes was having a different drum technician this time. That likely contributed to the final result being noticeably distinct from NINTH.

Interviewer: Was the main change in the drum parts related to tuning?

KAI: It wasn’t just the equipment we used that changed; the change in the tuner was surprisingly significant. This person is very precise in tuning the snare and toms to match the original compositions perfectly. He seems to have great chemistry with me and provides lots of valuable advice. Honestly, I learned so much—it was really eye-opening.

Interviewer: It’s incredible that even with the GazettE’s 19-year career, you were still able to gain new insights like that.

KAI: Yeah, I was genuinely surprised by how much I still don’t know (laughs).

Interviewer: Did the unique drum sound that became the foundation of this album affect the guitar sound in any way?

URUHA: Since we recorded the guitars while listening to the recorded drum tracks, there were moments where I thought, “The sound is different from the pre-production stage. So that's how it turned out.” However, that didn’t lead to significant changes in the guitar sound. The sound changes drastically during the mixing stage, so getting caught up in minor adjustments during recording could cause inconsistencies in the overall album production. That’s why my focus was consistently on the sound of the album as a whole.

Interviewer: So you had to look at things from a big-picture perspective. Speaking of that, what were the key aspects you emphasized while working on MASS? My impression after listening to it is that there are many parts of this album that seem to be made with live performances in mind, starting with the SE track COUNT-10 leading into the lead tune BLINDING HOPE and the energetic ROLLIN’ with its drum solo intro.

URUHA: Absolutely, that’s exactly right. The GazettE rarely creates songs solely for recordings. We often approach music with live performances in mind. Even during the song selection process, we judge whether a track is suitable for live settings. Fundamentally, live performance is always at the core of what we do.

KAI: During the album production, we actually simulated setlists. We experimented with mixing new songs and existing ones to see what combinations would feel cohesive for a live performance. Based on those tests, we identified gaps like, “We need this type of song,” and added tracks accordingly.

Interviewer: Now, for the Gekirock readers, could each of you recommend two personal favorites from MASS?

URUHA: For the Gekirock audience, I have to start with BLINDING HOPE. It’s the one song that encapsulates the various elements contained within MASS. The melodic progression, the sense of speed, the intricacy of each instrument—this track is a condensed representation of the current state of the GazettE. Just by listening to it, you’ll get a good grasp of the album’s overall feel. And since Gekirock readers tend to be metalcore fans, I’d also recommend MOMENT.

Interviewer: Interesting choice. Why MOMENT specifically?

URUHA: For metalcore fans, I think it’s refreshing to sometimes take a break with a ballad like MOMENT featuring acoustic guitars. I’m guessing many of you don’t often listen to this type of song, and it’s also rare for the GazettE. It had been a while since I recorded with an acoustic guitar, and I hope you’ll enjoy this tranquil atmosphere.

Interviewer: When using acoustic guitars in the GazettE’s music, what is important to you?

URUHA: Normally, acoustic guitar parts are handled by AOI. However, MOMENT is a track where the acoustic guitar takes center stage throughout, including the guitar solo. Since it was such a special case, we emphasized capturing the natural resonance of the guitar body by recording it with a microphone. That said, faithfully reproducing the recorded sound in a live setting might be challenging due to the band’s overall acoustics, so I think we'll have to go through a process of trial and error from here on out.

"The thing is, the GazettE just can’t lie" - KAI

Interviewer: Not just MOMENT, but listening to MASS, I was reminded again of how strong the GazettE’s melodies are in general.

URUHA: I like heavy music, but I this is largely because our roots aren't in metalcore. Our roots are in visual kei, so of course we think about song melodies as the axis.

Interviewer: Meanwhile, KAI, what are your personal recommendations from MASS?

KAI: While I feel like I should pick something different from URUHA’s choices (laughs), I can’t leave out BLINDING HOPE. It’s the entrance to MASS, and more than any other track, it encapsulates what the GazettE is as a band. So, I can't leave it out.

URUHA: So, what about the other two songs?

KAI: Hmm, all the songs are my favorites, so it's hard to pick out just one (laughs).

Interviewer: In terms of drum phrases, HOLD has quite a flashy structure, doesn’t it?

KAI: Ah, yes, definitely. I think readers of Gekirock would probably prefer tracks like HOLD, BARBARIAN, and FRENZY. But personally, I’d like to recommend LAST SONG.

Interviewer: Please tell us why.

KAI: This is the song that concludes the album MASS, and if we do any tours in the future, it's definitely the song we'll play last at live shows.

Interviewer: That's why it's called LAST SONG.

KAI: Yes, it’s a track that really makes the live experience come to life, and I believe it will play an important role in our future live performances.

Interviewer: LAST SONG includes lyrics like "I was dreaming in despair" and "Wandering voices, here and now, screaming like that day." For those who have been eagerly waiting for the GazettE’s live shows since last spring, this song seems like it will be an incredibly emotional moment.

KAI: Yeah, this song carries a very strong message. The thing is, the GazettE just can’t lie—we end up expressing exactly how we feel in the most straightforward way. In that sense, BLINDING HOPE is also entirely that kind of song. Since this album was created during the pandemic, it was only natural for us to want to pack it full of the emotions we experienced during that time.

Interviewer: And which other track would you choose?

KAI: 濁 (Daku). I think this type of track might not be very familiar to Gekirock readers. It’s a song that really lets you immerse yourself deeply in its world, and I believe that’s one of our strengths. And being able to enjoy such a dark atmosphere is one of the best parts of visual kei, so it might actually be something fresh for Gekirock readers.

Interviewer: With tracks like NOX, which incorporates string elements into loud rock, and THE PALE, which evokes vivid imagery as you listen, the 11 songs on this album each stand out with their unique characteristics. That said, with such a wide variety of songs, wasn't it difficult to compile them into one album?

URUHA: If anything, it was actually a bit harder during NINTH. This time, we didn’t really struggle with that.

KAI: The GazettE has been a band that’s experimented with a lot of different things over the years. We’re quite accustomed to blending a variety of elements into a single album, so it’s something we’re pretty good at by now (laughs).

Interviewer: What was the most challenging part of the production process this time around?

URUHA: This time, because of COVID, we couldn’t gather as a band very often. All the string instrument parts were recorded at home. Even beyond the recording process, we had to proceed without being able to clearly see what each member was working on or how they were approaching things.

KAI: We even did the mixing online this time, which was a first.

Interviewer: When working on the guitar ensemble, did you also communicate with AOI online rather than in person?

URUHA: We kept using LINE and Zoom throughout pre-production. Even after the recording phase was done and we moved to mixing, we still had thorough discussions to make sure the ideal form we each had in mind matched up with the actual sound, so we kept communicating until the very last minute before the deadline.

Interviewer: In such a setup, what approach did you take to find solutions to issues as they arose?

URUHA: First, I tried to draw out AOI’s vision as much as possible—what kind of sound he was aiming for. In the past, I might have jumped in with my own ideas first, like, “Here’s what I think.” But this time, I focused on understanding what AOI wanted to achieve and then considered how I could contribute. Luckily, with tools like re-amping and cabinet IRs (impulse responses), we could tweak sounds extensively. We were able to adjust both AOI’s tone and mine in real-time during our discussions to bring them closer to our shared vision. It was a somewhat tedious and roundabout method (laughs), but it gave us ample time to share and refine our ideas. I think the way we aligned as a twin-guitar duo turned out quite well in the end.

Interviewer: Wouldn’t it be fair to say that it wasn’t a roundabout process but rather a meticulous and careful approach?

URUHA: I guess you could put it that way. Also, this time it was necessary to create from a bird's-eye view, rather than from a subjective point of view.

Interviewer: The twin guitar sound doesn’t clash unnecessarily; instead, it achieves a harmonious and refined ensemble, which makes perfect sense now.

URUHA: I'm glad. If you could feel that, it's all worth it (laughs). While it wasn’t to the extent of completely suppressing myself, this time I really focused all my energy on fully embracing the intentions of the composer, each part's preferences and finding the best possible landing point.

Interviewer: After completing MASS, is there anything new you’ve realized or learned from this experience?

KAI: We were able to do the production online, and as a result, we managed to create something like this. I’ve come to understand that the ideal way to work would be for everyone to gather in person for things like mixing. Hearing the sound from the same speakers and discussing it on-site is really important. When each of us listens on different speakers, our discussions can get a bit misaligned (laughs).

URUHA: The sound changes depending on the environment, after all. Things we used to do smoothly without any issues took unexpected extra effort this time. That’s definitely something to address moving forward, but realizing it was itself a significant takeaway from this production.

Interviewer: This album has been titled MASS. I would be grateful if you could explain a little about the thoughts behind this title.

KAI: The word MASS itself carries many meanings, so it’s not like the title is meant to reflect just one of those meanings. But the aspect of "MASS" as "one cohesive entity" is definitely one of them.

Interviewer: It seems like listeners will have the opportunity to explore and find the meanings themselves while enjoying this album. Also, this happens to be the GazettE’s 10th studio album.

KAI: Yes, and we kept that in mind with the jacket design. It’s a collage that incorporates elements from all our album covers since our first full-length album, DISORDER, released in 2004. In that sense, you could interpret MASS as a square within a square*, and I think it can be interpreted in many other ways.

*The term he used is "枡目の枡" (masume no masu). It’s like saying the "unit" or "box" that is a part of the grid. So, it’s a way of emphasizing that the "masu" itself is a part of a larger, organized structure made up of smaller units.

URUHA: That said, MASS isn’t what you’d call a conceptual album. It wasn’t created around a specific theme. It’s more accurate to say it encapsulates the core of the band, distilled into one record at this moment in time. But this doesn’t represent some sort of final destination for the GazettE. If anything, it’s just a checkpoint. This is our best work at this time, but there are still many unanswered questions even after finishing the recording. Those are things we’ll have to discover as we keep moving forward. Creating this album really reminded me, after three years, "Oh yeah, this is what making an album feels like" (laughs).

Interviewer: As the GazettE celebrates 19 years this year and approaches its 20th anniversary next year, we sincerely hope for the day when we can hear the songs from MASS performed live as soon as possible.

KAI: Since we’ve released MASS, of course we want to follow it up with live performances. That’s definitely on our minds. However, we’ll need to consider the timing carefully. Regardless, we’re making preparations so that we’re ready to go whenever the opportunity arises. So, I’d like to say it clearly here: We will do live shows!

URUHA: The issue of COVID-19 is a global one, so for now, saying “We want to do live shows” is really just an expression of our hopes. But if people listen to MASS and feel, “I want to go to their concert!” then we believe it’s our job to create the conditions to respond to that feeling as much as possible moving forward.

Interviewer: How are you feeling about the upcoming 20th anniversary next spring?

URUHA: We had a lot of plans in place for the 20th anniversary, but some of them have had to be changed under the current circumstances. Still, when I think about it, I feel like reaching 20 years is pretty incredible. I'm amazed that we've lasted this long (laughs).

KAI: Hahaha (laughs).

URUHA: But as the years go by, I’ve come to feel more and more that it’s because of the five of us that we’ve been able to keep going. Our members are truly resilient, and their love for the band runs deep. Without that, we wouldn’t have made it through all the rough seas we’ve faced over the years. I felt that once again when we finished MASS.

KAI: That’s why, even beyond the 20th anniversary, all we want to do is keep expressing what we want to convey through our music. That’s everything for the GazettE.

[starry1avender]

Why I Don't Like the Idea of An Eclipse Redemption In SAMS Canon (Opinion)

Spoilers for today's SAMS episode "Eclipse has a PURPOSE in VRCHAT"!

"If I'm so 'lonely', what should I do then?! It's not like anyone's gonna accept me back" god I fucking hope not-

(Rant about why I don't want an Eclipse redemption under cut)

(Please note that of course, you don't have to agree with me at all or take it too seriously. Everyone has different standards when it comes to who they can and cannot forgive, and who they believe deserves a second chance. It's perfectly fine to feel bad or pity him as well. Hell, I do at times. At the end of the day, I'm just some goofy ahh teen ranting about why I think a character from a FNAF roleplay shouldn't be vindicated, so really everyone loses-)

I'm just going to say it now: As much as I like Eclipse as a character and as much as I enjoyed seeing this side of him, I really hope that they aren't trying to set up a redemption arc for him or to have him be spared and just let him get away with everything. I really don't. I don't care if he feels lonely or even a bit of remorse for his actions, he doesn't deserve redemption or a second chance or any sort of mercy by any of the cast. It'd just be...Kinda yikes. Doesn't help that I'm sick of the whole "It doesn't matter what you did or who you've hurt!1!1!1!11! As long as you're willing to change you can be vindicated!!!1!1!1!!11!" Trope a lot of media pushes out, which is a whole other can of worms I won't open today.

First of all, the obvious atrocities. He's literally abused and tortured the main cast, changed the ENTIRE UNIVERSE'S MEMORIES, sent Sun and Moon to life-threatening dimensions to try and break them mentally, killed people directly and indirectly (Bloodmoon), and October speaks for itself. Eclipse has severely fucked up so many lives on so many levels and that should not go unpunished. Furthermore, the fact that he does all of these things ON-SCREEN and that it’s portrayed in a (naturally) negative light does not help my pathos as a viewer when the idea of a redemption appears. Eclipse is an abuser, manipulator, and overall war criminal who deserves nothing less than death, even if he genuinely wants to change or has any regrets, it’s too little too late.

Eclipse has also had CHANCES to change. Sun and Moon have repeatedly given him the option to make a deal with them. Mainly in the beginning, They gave opportunities to just stop and come to a mutual agreement. Every single time, he rejected out of anger and pettiness. He’s had a choice this entire time. He’s not like Moon, who was heavily under the influence of his programming (the Kill Code) or Lunar who didn’t know any better due to being under Eclipse’s command. Eclipse has had a conscious decision in every action and knew damn well exactly what he was doing. It’s been almost 500 videos of this and only NOW, When he’s already caused so much pain and suffering, is he finally having second thoughts. Once again, too little too late. That sentence pretty much sums up my entire thoughts. His arc just needs to be done and over so we can move on to the next thing.

In conclusion, Eclipse has done too many horrendous things to the cast despite several opportunities to stop to make him redeemable in my eyes. He’s gone too far too many times, and once again: Too little too late.  In my opinion, the ample way to end off his arc is to kill him for good. Be it through his own means or others, I’m not too picky. Just please for the love of fuck-

[popcorn-plots]

Day 1: Helpless | 100 words | Wong reflects on being sick. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 2: Solitary confinement | 100 words | Stephen Strange laments. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 3: "Bit down on this" | 689 words | Sherlo-- Stephen gets injured on a casemission. Watson Wong to the rescue. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 4/5: Obedience/Rope burns | 932 words | Stephen and Wong are held captive in their own home in a robbery gone wrong (mostly). | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 6: "You lied to me." | 500 words | Tony confronts Stephen about a choice he made. A choice that ruined both their lives. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 7: Suffering in silence. | 150 words | Stephen Strange was fine. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 8: "Why won't it stop?" | 200 words | Stephen Strange breaks after using Atlantean Black Magic. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 9: Bees | 1128 words | America gets stung by a bee. Stephen comforts her when she admits her biggest fear. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 10: Killing in self-defense | 100 words | Stephen Strange is found guilty. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 11: Time loop | 100 words | Tony Stark is stuck in a time loop. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 12: Semi-conscious | 741 words | Stephen has a nightmare in the library, one he didn't quite wake up from until he was safe in Wong's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 13: "You weren't supposed to get hurt." | 176 words | Stephen watches his daughter grow up. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 14: Blood-stained tiles | 59 words | Wong reflects on his husbands death. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 15: "Who did this to you?" | 150 words | Stephen visits a grave. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 16: Alt -- "I love you." | 903 words | Stephen plays the bait in a mission to take out a group of rogue sorcerers. Wong intervenes and feelings are felt. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 17: Hostage situation | 694 words | Strange or the people of New York. Tough decision. Who lives, who dies…. You are playing a delicate game, Sorcerer Supreme. You decide who survives. Play God, just for a second, or we destroy your planet. Your choice, Sorcerer Supreme. You have 24 hours to decide. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 18: Alt -- Found footage | 756 words | A video is posted about Stephen Strange and the death of his sister, Donna. Stephen watches his old high school bullies vandalize his locker -- and his well-being. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 19: "Please don't." | 100 words | Stephen and Eugene’s relationship is all but healthy. So when Stephen gets home and finds his father drinking, he tries to avoid him at all costs... but avoiding Eugene is near impossible when you’re the one he’s angry at. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 20: Truth serum | 367 words | Stephen ingests a truth serum. The students of Kamar-Taj are curious, but some take it a bit too far. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 21: Unresponsive | 567 words | Tony finds Stephen nearly dead, barely breathing, an empty bottle of painkillers just out of reach. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 22: Alt -- CPR | 866 words | Tony Stark has a heart attack during an event. Peter performs CPR with the help of a mysterious stranger. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 23: Presumed dead | 200 words | With the cloak returning from the fight alone and radiating sadness, one could only assume the worst. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 24: "I'm doing this because I care about you." | 261 words | Wong is not the person he once was. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 25: Waterboarding | 1110 words | Stephen Strange is part of the .1% of the world's population that can see their soulmate's experiences. Great for Tony Stark, not so great for Stephen when his soulmate gets waterboarded in the middle of Stephen's shift. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 26: "Help them." | 375 words | Stephen knows he's going to die. Why waste time on him when others need it more? | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 27: Left for dead | 455 words | The Illuminati on Earth-838 don't kill Stephen Strange. They maroon him on Titan, alone and stripped of his magic.

Stephen doesn't believe this is punishment enough for his crimes. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 28: "No... not like this."/Alt -- last words | 500 words | Wong finally confesses his feelings for Stephen... just as he's dying in the man's arms. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Day 29: Not allowed to die/Alt -- immortality | 682 words | Stephen Strange is cursed. | Ao3 | Tumblr

Guys we did it. We finished Febuwhump!

[therealslimshakespeare]

Ok reasons why I like Maureen (this is incomplete list as those reasons are still multiplying)

1. She’s dedicated to her choices. She choose to get into army, it did not go the way she hoped but she still persevered and did her job.

2. She’s protective over people she loves -not only Gale as it’s common misconception. She tried to take bullet for Ida, checks up on girls in Stalag, reacted very strongly to Bucky being hurt, supports Gale and Jack during the worst of their abuse and never once her respect and love for them waivers, she spend her childhood trying to protect her brother

3. She’s an ally! It might feel like nothing know, but we must remember that it’s 1940s. I’m pretty sure it was illegal to engage in (ominous voice) “gay activities”.

4. She makes a conscious effort to change, which we see both in fics and in asks -and that change is permement

5. She’s also a young girl? She’s allowed to make mistakes and fuck up. We judge those characters using modern sensibilities but reality is they are very young people in very trying times -I would say she’s more than alright when you consider that

6. She’s unabashed in her sexuality. It’s so important to me to see character like that, because sexuality is such a significant part of human existence. And this pre second wave of feminism. So many things are still taboo. To be so comfortable in one’s skin and able to enjoy your body (despite being groomed as a child and abused as a woman) is to be a trailblazer really. There is a counter argument to made here that she’s overtly sexual in response to her trauma, but I believe that it’s only partly that. She just enjoys having fun and that includes sex and she’s unapologetic about it (this is also present in pacific version of Maureen-who’s also awesome! Because Maureen’s are incapable of not being awesome)

7. She’s funny. I just like her sense of humour and would probably like to drink with her if she was real. She likes to have fun and be around people and enjoy their company. How can I not like that. She’s the extrovert friend who adopts all the introverts nearby. Her being sociable also means that she easily gain allies from different prisoners -and that’s important in a place with limited resources

8. She’s supportive of her friends -she pushes Gale to include Lu’s engineering skills in his quest for radio, she’s supportive of Jack’s decision to marry Tilly and welcomes her with open arms, she embraces her husband biking hobby

9. She’s competent. Recognises one’s strength and helps to create a semi working community in Stalag by pointing out who would be the best for what

10. She’s also loyal. Once she decides she cares for someone she’s for them despite anything (not saying that she won’t voice her opinion). She was there for Ida’s birth even tho it was fucking traumatic for her, she’s there for her when she tries to take onto military after they close down women’s division, but she also supports Gale in his own journey to process all that horrifying experiences

11. She rejects comfort and money her family provides because she want’s to make something of her own life by signing up for war and later on she rejects them again because of their treatment of her and Gale

12. She a realist. And that’s something I will always appreciate in character. She’s calling things as she sees them and that’s so fucking useful during the war when harebrained optimism can kill

13. This is asks based reason but who cares, she’s a good mom, who tries to raise better people

14. She’s a fucking war hero!

This was such fun to read as an author because it’s like a summary of a very incomplete character and it’s like- woah and yay and wow about how she comes across to one reader with actual instances cited and y’all know how I adore my anon essays; no cap

[benkyoutobentou]

31 Days of Productivity Reading もう一回！: Days 28-29

Day 28: I had a very reading relaxed day. In true fashion of someone who spends the majority of their free time starting at words on paper, I really didn't know what else to do with my free time beyond reading, so I ended up finishing A Psalm for the Wild-Built and returning that to my library, then starting Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. And yes, I did make a conscious decision to not read in Japanese because I wanted to give myself space.

However, I did indeed still get some Japanese practice in! Not only have I been getting along surprisingly well with doing N2 flashcards (I consistently know 1/3 of them and I'm still on my first time through the deck. So yes, immersion does work!), I also watched a movie in Japanese. I watched カタクリ家の幸福 which is an absurdist horror comedy musical about a family who opens up a bed and breakfast and all of their patrons start dying. I really enjoyed it, even if some of the jokes didn't age very well. It was weird, stupid in parts, visually stunning, and really engaging. I also watched without any subtitles and found it pretty accessible, except for one character who spoke in a fake accent and another who spoke about a hundred words per second. I think I'd recommend it to anyone who already likes weird movies, and especially the specific brand of 90s/2000s Japanese weird.

Day 29: I read a little bit in Japanese today and read 狼の皮をかぶった羊姫 which is a fantasy GL about a wolf butler and a sheep princess. It took me under an hour to get through and that's probably just as much time as I'd like to spend on it. It seemed to rely on kawaii and moe more than actual substance to get the audience to enjoy it. I'm not sure if I'll buy the rest of the series, but I'll at least read what I've got of it. It was also 144 pages long, which completes my goal of 100 pages per day! Even though I'm mostly considering my challenge completed, even though its... not.

Since I'm considering myself largely finished with this challenge, let's take a look at how I did

Read 100 pages of manga OR 25 pages of a novel each day [26/29 - not bad]

Finish reading three novels [2/3 - I'm okay with that]

Read ten volumes of manga [11/10 - crushing the manga game!]

[phonotactical]

I have written harder emails

Date: Wed Dec 11 22:55 To: Nick@advising.eng.edu Subject: Re: When to apply for graduation

Hello Nick, It appears that I had too much faith in myself. I suspect I'll either outright fail 2 out of my 4 classes this semester or get below a 2.0. If either of those conditions are met, I plan to immediately un-enroll from the Spring term and take a semester off. I will then return in FA25 and SP26, finishing my degree. I understand that readmission is solely a decision for the Dean. Is there a process for petitioning for readmission, or does that automatically occur when I enroll in classes again? Thanks,

The semester ended 1 hour and 5 minutes thereafter. 2 minutes and 30 seconds at the time of writing this. Despite the fact that my entire conscious life has led up to me applying for, being accepted to and subsequently graduating university, I do not feel sadness. I do not feel despair. I do not feel like a failure.

I wrote an email indicating that my four year degree now...isn't, and I feel nothing.

This terrifies me.

[tomthomasblog]

Persecuted but Not Abandoned: Unpacking the Promise of Matthew 5:11-12

Have you ever felt your faith cost you more than you bargained for? Maybe you've faced mockery at school, lost friendships, or even encountered discrimination at work because of your beliefs. If so, you're not alone. Jesus Himself told us to expect such challenges. But He also gave us a powerful promise to hold onto when times get tough.

In Matthew 5:11-12, Jesus says, "Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad; great is your reward in heaven, for they persecuted the prophets before you."

Let's break this down and see what it means for us today.

First, Jesus acknowledges that His followers will face persecution. This isn't a maybe – it's a when. In today's world, this persecution might look like social media bullying, being passed over for promotions, or even facing legal challenges. Jesus doesn't sugarcoat the reality of following Him. He wants us to be prepared.

But here's where it gets interesting. Jesus doesn't just say we'll face these challenges; He calls us "blessed" when we do. This blessing isn't about feeling good in the moment. It's about being in the proper position with God. When we're persecuted for our faith, it shows we're living in a way that reflects Jesus – and that's always a blessed place to be.

Next, Jesus tells us to "rejoice and be exceedingly glad." This isn't just a little happiness; it's over-the-top joy. How is this possible when we're facing hard times? The answer lies in the next part of the verse: "For great is your reward in heaven."

Jesus calls us to shift our focus from the temporary to the eternal. Sure, we might face difficulties now, but these are nothing compared to God's amazing things in store for us. It's like an athlete enduring tough training because they're focused on winning the gold medal. Our "gold medal" is the reward waiting for us in heaven.

Then Jesus reminds us we're not the first to face these challenges. The prophets before us were persecuted, too. This puts us in pretty good company! Think about it – some of the greatest heroes of faith faced opposition. This reminder can give us courage when we feel alone in our struggles.

So, how do we live this out? Here are a few practical steps:

Expect challenges: Don't be surprised when following Jesus leads to difficult situations. Being prepared can help us respond better when persecution comes.

Remember your blessing: When you face opposition, remind yourself that you're blessed. This isn't about feeling blessed but knowing God is with you and approves your faithfulness.

Choose joy: Make a conscious decision to rejoice, even when it's hard. This might mean praising God, counting your blessings, or simply smiling in the face of adversity.

Keep an eternal perspective: Focus on the reward in heaven. This can help you endure temporary hardships.

Learn from others: Read about other Christians who have faced persecution. Their stories can inspire and guide you.

Stay connected: Don't try to go it alone. Stay connected to a supportive church family who can encourage you and pray for you.

Remember, persecution doesn't mean God has abandoned you. It might just be a sign that you're right where God wants you to be. So stand firm in your faith, keep your eyes on Jesus, and look forward to the splendid reward waiting for you!

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The Scripture Collection A compilation of 20 uplifting music videos inspired by a different Bible scripture. First Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rv1XEZzrCvE Second Edition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ucV8yJIEsvc

=======================

Website: https://bwpub.net/

I've created the song "Blessed Are You" in three different genres from Matthew 5:11-12.

cape verdean acoustic rock https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_LBsygZAbOE harpischord symphonic metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6oJnLBdLy4 acoustic rock chillsynth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhKmAHLsOcA

[celarewrites]

When the Crow Finds a Flock: The Prologue

CONTENT WARNING/S: Spoilers for Sae Palace arc and Akechi's motivations, Mentions of the psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdown victims (nothing graphic), Slight cussing, Small panic attack episode.

Note: All other characters shall be referred to by their last names (with the exception of Ren and Sae).

Chapter wordcount: 1,951 words

Fic under the cut

11/5/2016, Saturday, Afternoon

It's cold. Not quite snowing, as it hasn't reached the winter season yet, but it's still cold. “I should start wearing a coat soon”, Goro thinks to himself as he walks out of the train station.

The streets of Yongen-Jaya were narrow and crowded, but not as jam-packed as Shibuya is. In such an unsuspecting and inconspicuous place such as this, Goro never would have thought nor suspected the types of activities that actually took place here. Or maybe he would have? It's hard to tell, now that he knows so much now. 

“Do you truly think this is a bright decision?” A feminine voice in his head queries, skepticism and doubt coating the words. Goro holds the urge to scoff aloud. He hates getting questioned like this, especially when he's already aware of what would happen. 

“I've already told you, Forsette. Stop questioning my decisions. Do you think me a child, who has no idea what he's doing?” The detective retorts with his thoughts, knowing that the young lady in his mind (or… heart?) would hear him perfectly. He can't help but feel a petty and smug sense of pride swell in his chest when ‘Forsette’ shuts up. 

Goro hates it when Forsette actually speaks her mind and tries to dissuade him from doing something. He hates how it makes him self-conscious, how it makes him more careful of himself. He hates how it makes doubt and anxiety start to crawl up his spine like a parasite, feeding on his worries and inner negativity.

He hates how much power Forsette holds over his conscience. He hates how he knows how little power he has over even himself. 

As he walks to the humble and small cafe down the alleyway, he second-guesses himself. His heart rate spikes up, that's rarely a good or normal sign. Goro feels his gloved hands oddly shaking and hides them in his pockets, wondering why he feels so sweaty all of a sudden. It feels like he's lost all feeling in his limbs, numb but warm at the same time. What is this? Why is he experiencing this again? Is it because–

“Take deep breaths, Ace,” Forsette’s voice cuts in, though her tone is a lot more soothing. Goro can almost feel her hands patting his back, as she starts to gently guide him through a breathing exercise. The evening hustle and bustle of the street fade into the background as Forsette's voice talks him through his little episode. 

“... There we go, that's it,” The young lady encourages in a kind tone. The same tone she gets when she's pleased. Like when Goro mastered something, or when she was proven right. It's lathered in sweetness to a point Goro finds it sickening. It's almost like hearing an emotionless doll attempt to sound friendly. She just ends up sounding like a pretentious little bit-

“I can hear what you're saying in your mind, Ace,” Forsette interrupts his train of thought with an unamused and firm voice. Damn it. The moment has been completely ruined, and the mood has disappeared. Fortunately, Goro’s panicked disposition went away with it as well, and he schools his expression to appear calm and collected. 

He opens the cafe door, the bells over his head jingling to signify his entrance. Sojiro Sakura, the owner and sole worker (with the exception of the one part-timer) of Cafe Leblanc, turns his head to look at the newcomer. The middle aged man nods his head, and gestures up to the attic with a tilt of his head. 

“They're all upstairs,” Sakura-san says, a small lilt of amusement in his voice. Goro is still in a bit of shock, knowing that the old man knew of the Phantom Thieves residing in his own property but accepts them anyway. He provides them a shelter, but why would he do that? Sakura-san used to be a government worker, Goro notes when he did his research on the man, so he should be more aware of the dangers housing the Phantom Thieves would bring. 

Goro shakes away his thoughts as he gives Sakura-san a polite and pleasant smile. “Thank you, Sakura-san. I'll head up there now.” 

Without hesitation, the ace detective walks up the stairs. The wood creaks under his newly shined shoes, alerting the Phantom Thieves of his incoming presence. The chatter goes quiet, and the air is almost tense around them when the group can start to see Akechi emerging from the stairs. 

The attic was a dingy place to be, but it's become a tolerable sight for Goro the more he's been to it. A learned acceptance that no amount of cleaning could fix what's been done to this place. 

Everyone was already there. Ren Amamiya, the leader of the Phantom Thieves, sat on a chair by the northern side of the table, Ann Takamaki and Makoto Nijima on the couch to the west, Futaba Sakura (Morgana seated on the girl's lap) and Yusuke Kitagawa on a bench at the south, and Haru Okumura and Ryuji Sakamoto on separate chairs at the east side. 

Everyone had their place on the table, and Goro knew he was the one intruding. 

“Yo, what gives? You call all of us over here and you're the last one to arrive!” Sakamoto, the loudmouth of the bunch, starts. His boisterous and easily agitated demeanor is evident from how he shouts his words every chance he gets. He has the least subtlety among the group.

Goro gives a pleasant smile, his tone one of apology but he knows his face doesn't show it. “Please, forgive my tardiness. I had to take a call that held me up for a while,” The detective says, walking over to the group, pretending not to notice how Sakura-chan, Morgana, and Ren seem to look at each other. 

Nijima-chan crosses her arms, her expression as earnest as Akechi has always seen it to be. “Akechi-san, you said you wanted to tell us something? It must be rather important if you initiated a meeting like this. We've already secured the route to the treasure, after all, and we simply have to wait before sending out the Calling Card.”

Goro chuckles, the Nijima sisters have always been sharp. “Yes, it is rather important. I'd appreciate it if everyone would listen to me.” His expression turns serious and he leans against the wall by the window, looking at everyone. 

“I'd like to confess something,” Goro starts, trying to find the words. He's rehearsed this exact speech multiple times today, and yet now, he can't muster up the courage to speak. 

His eyes look around to analyze the Phantom Thieves’ faces. He feels something weighing down on him heavily as he looks at Haru Okumura and Futaba Sakura. He clenches his hand into a fist from inside his jeans pocket. He promised himself he wouldn't feel guilty or regret after what he's done. He doesn't deserve to even feel bad, not when the deed has already been done. And by his own hands, nonetheless. 

“Sae-san's Palace is all a trap,” he states. No one in the room is surprised, for some reason, but Ren stands up, hands in his pockets as always to look at him. Ren’s glasses glint from the light, and Goro wishes he could see what his so-called “rival” was thinking. 

“What do you mean by that, Akechi,” There comes the question Goro knows would be coming. The brunet takes a deep breath and explains, his crimson eyes slowly analyzing all the reactions, especially Ren's. 

“After the treasure is taken, guards and police workers from the real world will be brought to the Metaverse to ambush the Phantom Thieves,” Goro raises an eyebrow slightly when he sees a look shared between Sakamoto and Takamaki. Nijima shakes her head discreetly as she looks at Sakamoto, as if discouraging him from doing something. 

“If you're all dead set on changing Sae-san's heart, do so now while you can,” Goro says, looking directly at the leader of the Phantom Thieves. 

The whole room is in silence, until Nijima cuts in, furrowing her eyebrows a bit as she looks at Goro, “Hold on.” 

“How did you know all this, Akechi-san? Who's behind the plan?” The questions make Goro purse his lips, before deciding that he's gone too far to back down now. 

“I'm sure you all know who it is. The police and the government. The Special Investigations Unit isn't very happy with all of you, and they'd stop at nothing to get to you,” Goro says, before narrowing his eyes sharply. “Even if it means sending someone to pretend to be an ally. That someone, being me.”

Goro expects indignant remarks and distrustful glares, but he only receives an almost resigned yet begrudging expression from everyone. Well, everyone except… 

“Aha! We knew it!!” Sakura-chan exclaims, excitement filling her voice as if she witnessed a scene from a show or game. Everyone stares at her blankly, and Goro raises an eyebrow at the wording. 

“‘We’?” He asks, but Takamaki clears her throat loudly, changing the subject quickly, “A-Anyway! Oh no! You were tricking us this whole time?!”

Takamaki is a terrible liar, everyone in the room now realizes (or some have already known for a while). But Okumura manages to pick up the momentum, “Why exactly are you telling us this, Akechi-kun?” The soft-spoken heiress managed to keep an air of calm to her, though Goro can tell that she was holding something back. 

“Because I don't want to be a pawn in someone else's plan anymore,” Goro says, his voice firm and almost angry. “I've been a pawn for too long now. For almost three long years now… I don't want to go back to that again.”

The screaming, the crying, the scolding, the shouting. It haunts Goro’s conscience too much now.

“You have to come clean now,” Goro says to himself in his mind, internally thanking Forsette for not interrupting or interjecting the whole conversation. 

“The SIU isn't your true enemy, Phantom Thieves. It isn't me either. It's Masayoshi Shido. He's the one behind… well, everything. The mental shutdowns, the psychotic breakdowns, everything.” He says, hoping his voice and expression would show how serious and truthful he was. 

Ren stays quiet for a while, before speaking up again, “Can you tell us everything? How do you know all this?”

Sakamoto speaks up, “Wait, who's Masayoshi Shido? The name sure sounds familiar, but I can't put a finger on it…” To which Kitagawa replies, “I believe he's a rather famous politician. You can hear many people talking about him and his speeches recently. He's planning to run for Prime Minister.” 

Goro tunes out the conversation, turning to Ren. “I know all this because Shido made me do all the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns. I did all of them, and Shido orchestrated it all. I have just as much blame in all of this as Shido does, but I'm not willing to keep being his slave anymore.”

The sheer resentment in Goro's voice makes the conversation in the background slowly quiet down, and everyone's eyes are on the detective this time. “I'll be willing to tell you all everything. But it will be a long story,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back on the wall behind him. 

The Phantom Thieves all look at each other and share a nod, sitting comfortably and giving Goro the go-signal. 

“Give us every detail, Akechi-san,” Nijima says, nodding her head at him. Her expression was reminiscent of that of Sae's during a court hearing. 

Goro takes a deep breath. “It all started two years ago…” 

[freepressjournals]

JEE Advanced AIR 9 Dhruvin Doshi: Journey to Success by Staying Focused and Strategic

Achieving a remarkable All-India Rank (AIR) of 9 in the JEE Advanced exam is no small feat, and Dhruvin Doshi's journey to the top is a testament to his dedication, strategy, and resilience. With an impressive score of 329 out of 360, this Mumbai boy's story is both inspiring and instructive for aspiring engineers across the country.

Shifting Gears for Success: Moving to a Hostel

Hailing from Mulund, Dhruvin initially faced a considerable challenge: a long daily commute from Mulund to Andheri for his coaching classes at Sri Chaitanya Educational Institutions. This daily travel was not only time-consuming but also exhausting. Realizing the need to optimize his time and energy, Dhruvin, along with a few friends, decided to make a strategic move.

“In the first year, I commuted daily, but in the second year, we shifted to a hostel closer to our coaching center. This decision saved us from the daily travel hassle and allowed us to focus entirely on our studies,” Dhruvin shared. “Having friends with me throughout this journey was crucial. Moving alone would have added unnecessary stress, which we wanted to avoid.”

Family Influence and Career Choice

Interestingly, despite coming from a family of doctors—his mother a dentist and his father an anesthesiologist—Dhruvin chose a different path. “I was never interested in biology or medicine, so I thought, why not try engineering? The result, as it turns out, is quite delightful,” he said, smiling. Dhruvin had modest expectations, aiming to be among the top 60, but his hard work propelled him to an even higher rank.

The Art of Focus: Steering Clear of Distractions

One of the critical factors in Dhruvin's success was his disciplined approach to managing distractions. While he did own a smartphone, he made a conscious decision to stay away from social media apps that could divert his attention. “I believe in giving my best effort in everything I do. But once you’ve put in 100%, it’s important to relax and accept whatever the outcome may be. Stressing over the result isn’t helpful,” Dhruvin advised.

To unwind and keep stress at bay, Dhruvin often chatted with friends and played cricket, maintaining a balanced approach to his rigorous study schedule. He dedicated a substantial 10-11 hours each day to his studies, ensuring he was thoroughly prepared for the exam.

The Sweet Taste of Success

Reflecting on his achievement, Dhruvin expressed immense satisfaction. “Seeing the results now, it feels like all the hard work has finally paid off. I am thrilled and look forward to pursuing the Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) branch at IIT Bombay,” he said.

Dhruvin's journey highlights the importance of making strategic decisions, staying focused, and maintaining a balance between hard work and relaxation. For those aspiring to follow in his footsteps, his story serves as a powerful reminder that with dedication, smart planning, and a little bit of sacrifice, great achievements are within reach.

[refersmss]

Elevating Style Responsibly: Essential Sustainable Fashion Tips for Men

In the realm of fashion, sustainability isn't merely a fleeting trend but a fundamental mindset that resonates with ethical and environmental principles. Men's fashion, too, can seamlessly blend style with sustainability, embracing conscious choices that minimize the industry's ecological footprint. Our mission is to advocate for sustainable fashion for men, guiding you through essential tips to cultivate eco-friendly style while exuding confidence and sophistication.

1. Prioritize Quality: Invest in enduring clothing pieces crafted with superior quality materials, designed to withstand the test of time, thus reducing the need for frequent replacements.

2. Choose Ethical Brands: Opt for brands committed to ethical practices, transparency, and fair labor conditions throughout their supply chain.

3. Embrace Versatility: Build a wardrobe foundation with timeless basics that effortlessly transition across various occasions, promoting versatility and longevity.

4. Opt for Natural Fibers: Select garments made from natural and organic fabrics such as cotton, linen, and hemp, which boast lower environmental impacts compared to synthetic alternatives.

5. Explore Second-Hand Options: Scout thrift stores, consignment shops, and online platforms for pre-loved fashion treasures, supporting a circular economy while reducing waste.

6. Practice Repair and Upcycling: Extend the lifespan of your garments by repairing minor damages and repurposing clothing items into refreshed styles.

7. Embrace Minimalism: Curate a minimalist wardrobe consisting of pieces that truly resonate with your personal style and align with your values.

8. Avoid Fast Fashion: Eschew fast fashion in favor of sustainable alternatives, steering clear of disposable clothing and its detrimental environmental consequences.

9. Opt for Eco-Friendly Accessories: Choose accessories crafted from sustainable materials like bamboo or recycled leather, elevating your style with a conscious touch.

10. Invest in Tailored Clothing: Prioritize well-fitted, tailored garments that not only enhance your appearance but are also more likely to be cherished and maintained.

11. Practice Careful Garment Maintenance: Follow garment care instructions meticulously to prolong their lifespan, opting for cold water wash cycles to conserve energy.

12. Rent for Special Occasions: Consider renting formal wear or special occasion outfits instead of purchasing, minimizing the environmental impact of occasional outfits.

13. Choose Sustainable Footwear: Opt for shoes crafted from eco-friendly materials such as organic cotton, cork, or recycled materials, prioritizing both style and sustainability.

14. Select Sustainable Grooming Products: Opt for grooming products packaged in eco-friendly materials and formulated with ingredients that are gentle on your skin and the environment.

15. Advocate for Sustainability: Share your sustainable fashion journey with others, inspiring them to make conscious choices and collectively contribute to a more eco-conscious world.

In conclusion, sustainable fashion is about making mindful decisions that resonate with your values while maintaining a sense of style. By incorporating these invaluable tips into your fashion routine, you can exude confidence, look impeccable, and play a part in fostering a more sustainable future.

For more ideas visit here👉Refersms

[steamishot]

3 year anniversary 😵‍💫

i had totally forgotten until today, but it had just passed my 3 year anniversary of living in NYC on 9/11. that's crazy. this is now 3/4 of the time i spent in college lol. i guess i'm a junior now.

we (mostly i) drove to boston last thursday. it was about a 5.5-6 hour drive due to the traffic. my laptop was on in the backseat with the mouse jiggler on. matt had just got off 9 days of working straight and was ded. the first night, we had AYCE shabu which was recommended by matt's coworker. it was just OK and our stomachs didn't feel too well the day after. we checked into the hyatt in cambridge (thanks chase points again), and was very close to MIT. there was a sign welcoming MIT parents because it was the back to school era. the hotel was situated across from the charles river, and we got to creepily watch smart looking people run along this river from our room. we opted to park our car 0.8 miles away in a different lot to save money ($40 vs $95 for two nights).

on friday, we met my reddit friend K in her condo in cambridge. i remember her to be meek and softspoken when she was in NYC for a short period, but she was quite the opposite in cambridge. now i understood it as her being overwhelmed in nyc because of all the stimulation, which caused her to shut down a little. anyway, her voice was a little louder than i remember haha, and her presence was a bit intense that i became quite shy. i got to meet her two cats and her bf M, who ended up hanging out with us for the majority of the time.

because K and M are both very intellectual (hello cambridge), matt really enjoyed conversing with them. M kind of embodies an altruistic jewish man with SF tech culture. M has an open library project, is anti-consumerist, and often wears a purple shirt with his name and QR code to his website. he keeps a public spreadsheet of his goals since 2015 and told us he's done 80K pushups. we walked around cambridge, went to an ice cream shop, linen shop, and a tea shop. then we chilled a bit at her condo where he made us some tea. got yummy udon at the nearby lesley university, and then went to a brewery afterwards. it was a long hangout, lol!

right after this hangout, i felt really self-conscious. i was the least accomplished one and honestly felt like the dumbest one in the group. they're (more so her) quick on their feet, decisive/opinionated, and can churn out thoughtful intelligent responses in seconds. her condo had a tiny TV, but many books and board games. she texted me after the hangout saying it was so nice meeting us and she appreciates me for going to visit her. i was dealing with my own feelings of unworthiness, and feeling like i don't quite fit in. i also usually don't see the intellectual side of matt often because he's totally drained from work and doesn't want to do more thinking outside of work. he had more of the spotlight because they were interested in his career. i felt like i didn't have much to share.

i felt self-conscious for a whole day afterwards, and felt weird responding to her texts, even though we chat so often (over text, reddit, and IG). i kinda wondered if we would even be friends organically if we didn't already have such deep chats via the internet. i finally got over that mental hump of not being worthy enough, and began chatting with her like normal again. instead of feeling unworthy, i tried to shift my perspective to feel lucky and inspired to have such intelligent company who i can learn things from.

matt and i also got to stay in the machimoodus getaway cabin in connecticut for the first time for two nights. i'm keeping a google sheet of the number of countries and states i've been to. so far, it's 18 countries and 18 US states. i didn't count the ones that were just layovers/pass throughs. we got into a frustrating argument in the car ride there, which i understand is all based on emotions. he's pretty much ded after the longer work week + one whole day of socializing with new people, which made him highly anxious and easily stressed because he had not had any alone/quiet time for a while. so, he gets highly anxious when i'm driving (stop!, slow down!) and i in turn get upset and react negatively to his anxiety because it triggers my anxiety. i get super annoyed at back-seat driving, especially when i'm the better (and more conscious) driver between the two of us.

i know that this was something that was discussed in my therapy session, where i don't have to fix his anxieties, and at the very least, don't need to take it personally. it's a work in progress for the both of us.

the getaway: it's the most secluded glamping site that we've been to. it's semi-luxurious, and not nearly as luxurious as autocamp. autocamp provides very nice dinnerware, a hairdryer, a TV, fast internet, etc. both autocamp and undercanvas had a community area where you can purchase food/drinks and hangout. getaway was much more isolated, and their store is self-service. no hairdryer and the dinnerware is a little cheap. the cabin is actually very tiny and thoughtfully designed (to stow away luggages and shoes). i really enjoyed the giant glass window and the windows throughout the cabin to feel at one with nature. since we had a 4 night package and also wanted to go glamping during the fall foliage season, we booked another two nights in october. K&M may join us (but not sure, as M does not like to spend money).

CT: so beautiful and lush, went to the nearby cat cafe where we were the only asians and they displayed an "antiracism" sign on the door (which i'm guessing that means that racism is prevalent in that area), checked out boho farms and got a pumpkin spice candle, went to the local grocery market twice, and did a short hike at machimoodus state park.

work: my new boss (director) officially announced my promotion yesterday in an email and included what duties will be shifted to my previous manager and my colleague. it's definitely weird to give my old manager work to do? so i'm trying to do as much as i can. there's a lot on my plate right now as i'm taking over compliance management and resolving previous payroll issues, all while still doing majority of the work for the VCP and housestaff populations. i do feel happier though, like that i'm actually looking forward to doing this type of work. it's very introverted and a bit more challenging so i'm excited to give a good impression in my first few months.