#but the next one i’ll link the song that i unfortunately couldn’t find the instrumental too

[the-devil-less-known]

Lucifer tilted his head, thinking. In technicalities, he did have a couple harpsichords… and The Organ, but the thought of bringing the first two out of storage or going out on a long walk just to see an old decrepit massive piece… Did not appeal for the casual air going on here, so he earmarked it for a later time. Though, maybe he could simply share music of The Organ being played and recorded later? Then mention it was still around, and if wanted later, they could go see it~!

The King grins to himself, so very pleased. He is the social manipulator (or so he tells himself).

“Oh? Why, certainly…. Let’s see. Mmm…” Lucifer eyes the collection, from horns to woodwind to stringed instruments, there were so many. He takes a long gulp of his whiskey, clearing his throat of the burn, and placed his drink into the care of his elongated tail. The safest measure would be to stick with what he knew would be a crowd pleaser, especially for a crowd this particular in mind.

“It would be fitting to play the same one you remember before, but without the vineer I usually put on for it right? Since we are seeing each other without airs, and all. You should see and hear my favorite as she is.” With a pointed flick of his wrist, the container opens and the little red violin turns golden in complexion, wrapped in his magic as it floats the short distance over into Lucifer’s awaiting hand. “Usually, I make a copy of her, to avoid any hard wear or accidents occuring when I’m out in public. I doubt I would get another as finely made as this.”

Delicately, a claw traces the engraving, la tromba di Gabriele, along the edge; and holds it up for examination, slowly spinning it in his careful hands, the rich red color gleaming in the light as the gold leeches away, disappearing silently. “Stradivari, unfortunately, no longer remains in Hell. Heaven targetted our craftsmen that year, found what should have been a private location… After that, well, no point in continuing that program. When he was here, there were a great many more performances created, just for the opportunity to play his instruments. Actually, that includes the one that was playing in LuLu World when we visited.”

The violin is raised up and carefully put in place, chin resting on the wood as he grinned at Alastor boyishly, dimple peeking out. The record player behind them grows quiet, a golden tendril turning it off. “Want me to play you the Goetia’s Lament with a history lesson, or do you have a special request in mind? Don’t think it’ll spare you from my gabbing, either~”

Rolling his eyes at Lucifer's quick defense of his apparent agedness (is he not hundreds of thousands of years old, Alastor wondered?) the radio demon decided against making an 'old man' joke of any kind. Too enthralled, for the time being, in observation of the instruments laid out before him. Though Alastor could not consider himself a jack of all trades when it came to playing music - his specialty being the piano and perhaps an occasional twang of a banjo - he could appreciate the craftsmanship of a finely tuned violin or some other string instrument of similar caliber.

For the time being, Alastor had no interest in telling Lucifer to quit talking. It filled the silence, anyway. And while he himself could ramble and rave on about any number of subjects, none of those particular subjects were the conversational topic of the moment.

The Devil's words were never tiresome, in any case. Even if they sometimes delved into slightly more emotional territory than Alastor was always equipped to handle.

Lucifer's tidbit about the instruments being used as collateral for summoning was an interesting one. And somewhere in the back of his mind, he found a dull sort of realization - it figured that the singular thing he'd forgotten to include when he'd made an attempt at summoning the Devil all those years ago in his living years was something like that. Instead, he'd summoned Lilith instead.

The irony was not lost on him.

Alastor's attention was pulled to the offered drink, reaching out to take it and give it a brief sniff. A tiny bit too sweet for what he normally preferred, but he would not balk at it. Though the ice was an interesting touch.

"I do not play much except for piano," he answered honestly with the slightest of shrugs before he took a swig from the glass in hand. "I might be able to pluck out a little ditty on a stringed instrument or two, but it's certainly not my forte."

But he knew that Lucifer was quite proficient at it. And the thought piqued some genuine interest, eyebrows raised just a touch at the other.

"I recall you having quite the skill, however. Why don't you show me a bit of that instead?"

It was an invitation, and a little bit of a smug one that said he'd not forgotten their little duel when Lucifer had first arrived at the hotel. Amusing as it had been, though he did not think the other harbored as much appreciation for the theatrics of it all. Alastor had simply thought it was fun.

But so too was he curious to hear the other's proficiency outside of such a heated encounter.

[jaskierswolf]

You Set My Heart Ablaze Pt. 14/25

Previous

____________

Jaskier ran down the corridors of Dol Blathanna. His guitar case was slung haphazardly over his shoulder and books were on the verge on tumbling out of his satchel. His blasted alarm hadn’t gone off this morning, although that was probably his own fault for getting so caught up in his book that he’d forgotten to set the alarm before falling asleep with the book still in his hands. Luckily for him he’d still woken up at a vaguely reasonable time and on any normal day he would have made it into school before his class had started to arrive.

Unfortunately it wasn’t an ordinary day.

An email had been sent out to all the faculty the night before from the school board, calling a meeting in the school hall before class started.

And he was already late.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He muttered as he ran. A book flew from his satchel as he turned the corner in the corridor. “Oh cock!”

He turned on his heels and ran to gather up his book only for two more to fall out of his bag along with several loose sheets of paper.

“Shit!” He grabbed another one of his books but his foot caught on one of the bits of paper.

It all happened in slow motion.

His legs were suddenly up in the air and he landed, quite painfully, on his arse. His guitar case dropped heavily on the floor next to him, strings twanging in the case and his heart sunk as he heard a sickening crack of wood.

“Bollocks!” He groaned and scrambled to open his case.

Sure enough the neck of the guitar had broken and the strings were the only thing keeping it together.

“No no no!” He stood up and kicked the case. “Fuck!”

That was all he needed. It was bad enough that the rest of his instruments were currently in storage whilst his landlord managed to sort out the repairs to the apartments. He was incredibly lucky that none of them had been damaged in the fire. Geralt’s team had gotten the fire under control quickly and the blaze hadn’t managed to spread much further than the third floor. A few of his neighbours from the fourth floor had lost some of their furniture and the flooring had been toasted but Jaskier had had a lucky, if not humiliating escape. Unfortunately he wasn’t allowed to stay in his flat whilst they made repairs. There were concerns that the ceiling below his flat sustained some damage, making his home unfit to live in.

He was currently staying with Triss in her little bungalow. He was lucky she had a guest room and allowed him to bring his guitar along with him but she’d put her foot down at his wider instrument collection, he had said goodbye to his precious lute with a heavy heart as he’d locked his storage unit.

He was less lucky that she hadn’t thought to wake him up this morning.

He scooped up the remains of his guitar and zipped up the case. He didn’t have time to mourn. This time he was smart enough to close his satchel properly too and he scurried towards the school hall. He pushed the heavy door open as quietly as he could and slipped inside. A woman stood at the front of the hall where Stregobor would normally stand.

How peculiar.

She glared fiercely at him and he muttered an apology and ran to find a seat.

“As I was saying.” The woman continued, still holding his gaze in a death stare. He swallowed nervously as he begun to wonder whether he’d been cursed today. Nothing had gone his way so far. “We have received several alarming reports regarding your headmaster. Therefore, the board has made the decision to temporarily suspend Mr Ban-Ard whilst we conduct an investigation into his behaviour.”

Jaskier couldn’t help but smile.

They’d done it.

The whole case had blown up just before half-term. Jaskier and several of the other faculty members had written some very strongly worded emails to the school board to highlight the nasty goings on in the school. He was aware that Yennefer Vengerberg had also been involved. Istredd had told them with a very smug smile on his face. Jaskier supposed he’d finally pulled his head out his arse and done something about that ridiculous crush of his.

Two weeks into the new term and they’d gotten rid of the pervert. He wanted to cheer.

“Furthermore.” The woman said sharply. “We were also made aware of other members of staff supporting Mr Ban-Ard’s views in his treatment of women. I’m sure you will have noticed that not all your colleagues are in the room.”

There was a rumble of noise as everyone looked around. Jaskier met Triss’s eyes and she seemed  relieved to see him. He scanned the room looking for his nemesis.

“Oh this is good.” He mumbled to himself, barely able to keep his excitement contained.

Valdo Marx was absent.

He grinned and linked his fingers in his lap. Maybe he wasn’t cursed after all.

“They have also been suspended until we can ensure that they are not able to use their influence as teachers to encourage this sort of behaviour in our students.” The woman continued with a rather sinister smile. It would have been sexy if it wasn’t so darn right terrifying. She reminded him in many ways of Yennefer.

“Of course, if nothing is proven against those who have been suspended then they will be allowed to continue teaching. In the meantime I’d like to introduce you to Mr Filavandrel Fidháil and Mr Mousesack Ermion. They will be filling in for Mr Marx and Mr Degerlund. I do trust that you will treat them both with the utmost respect. Finally, Ms de Vries will be acting as your new headmistress for the time being. If there are any problems she will be reporting to me directly.”

After a few more minutes the woman in charge let them go and the room burst into noise as everyone began to gossip about what had happened. Of course, by now everyone knew about the whole affair. When one teacher knew something then it was only a matter of time before the whole school knew. Jaskier found Triss first, wanting to catch up on what he’d missed.

“You’re awake then.” She teased as he approached.

He put his hands on his hips. “No thanks to you!”

“I thought you were just being slow.” She defended herself. “We both know you’re not a morning person, Jaskier.”

He waved his hands dismissively. “I’m a great person in the mornings!”

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“It just has to be with the right person.” He smirked.

She rolled her eyes and hit him on the arm. “Gross.”

He laughed. “I know. I know!” He whined. “I’m sorry. It’s just been a while.”

“Still pining after your sexy fireman?”

“Not my fireman.” He grumbled. “and I am yearning! I am dying of thirst.”

“Can’t believe you were late!” Triss giggled. “I thought Philippa was going to kill you!”

He frowned as he tried to recall the name. He was certain that none of the staff were called Philippa. He’d even written a song to help him remember all of their names. “Who?”

“Philippa Eilhart, the person we’ve been listening to for the last fifteen minutes?”

“Ooohh.” He nodded. “I was just calling her. ‘The Woman’”

“Very ominous.”

“Maybe she’ll be the next star of my new song.” He pondered. “She certainly knew how to control a room.” He went to pull his guitar case round to his front but he froze as he felt the broken wood beneath the leather. “Bollocks!” He moaned. “I’ll never write again!”

Triss rolled her eyes as they reached her desk at the front of the school. “Are you sure you’re not one of your six year olds?”

“My guitar broke!” He pulled out the dead instrument and laid it forlornly on her desk. “I fell. Just look at it.” He cried. “And all my other instruments are still in storage! I can’t bring my lute into class everyday, it’s too fragile and far too expensive. I need my guitar!”

Triss patted him patronisingly on the shoulder. “Chin up, Buttercup. Maybe your fireman will by you a new one.”

He gaped and stumbled backwards at her remark. “Not. My. Fireman!” He pointed at her accusingly. “You are the actual worst, Triss Merigold. No wonder Yennefer loves you.”

She smirked. “I’m taking that as a compliment.”

“It’s not.”

“Now kindly get your precious instrument—”

“Dead instrument.”

“—off of my desk. I’ve got to work.” She finished with a pointed look.

He sighed and picked up his guitar. The kids would be here soon and he needed to get ready for the day.

________________________

Ciri was crying and once again Jaskier had decided that he’d been cursed.

The beginning of the day had gone smoothly after his guitar incident. They were picking up their numbers excellently and they’d even begun to write little short stories of their own. Jaskier was incredibly proud of his young authors. Once their stories were finished, the kids were going to split into groups and act out each one. It was all fun and games and the arts really help to improve their imaginations and confidence. They had been sad when he told them that they wouldn’t be singing along to his guitar today but Kayleigh had suggested that the could make their own instruments which Jaskier thought was a fabulous idea. After lunch they were going to be making tissue box guitars if he could raid the supply cupboard and collect all the tissues into one box. As long as the cleaners didn’t spot him then he would be fine.

Probably.

Although knowing how this day was going he would be caught and lose his job.

But that was neither here nor now. Right now he had one screaming child on his hands.

She had forgotten her lunchbox and it wasn’t a Friday so Geralt hadn’t given her money for a hot lunch.

“I’m going to starve!” She cried in between sobs.

He wondered, for a moment, whether his love for dramatics was rubbing off on his children in a bad way.

He knelt down in front of her so he was at her level. “Ciri, look at me, Buttercup.”

She sniffed but met his eyes. Her cheeks were tearstained and her eyes were red and puffy. He tilted his head and opened his hands in front of him so that she could take them, if she wanted, which she did.

“Do you trust me, Ciri?” He asked softly and she nodded. “Good. Now I promise you that I won’t let you go hungry.”

“But my lunchbox!” She sobbed.

“I know.” He nodded and squeezed her hands. “But we can fix it. Ok?”

She nodded and chewed at her lip.

“I can either call your father and get him to bring your lunch box.” She scrunched up her nose.

“No he’ll hate me!” She cried. “It’s all my fault and he’ll send me away!”

Jaskier took a deep breath to calm himself. Geralt would never abandon Ciri like that and it broke his heart that she would think that, but it was so easy to forget the circumstances that brought her to Geralt in the first place.

“Oh Ciri. It’s ok to be frightened but I promise you that Geralt would never do that.” He stumbled backwards as she threw her arms around him and cried more into his chest. “Come on, let’s get to Reception and we can call your father.”

“Nooo.” Ciri whined into his chest.

Jaskier was going to offer to pay for her lunch for the day as a second option, he knew Geralt would pay him back. Not that he wanted Geralt to pay him back, he still felt indebted to the man after the fire, but he couldn’t be seen to be favouring Ciri by paying for her lunch. It didn’t matter anyway. Ciri needed to see her father wouldn’t leave her so he wasn’t even going suggest the hot lunch option.

He pulled her gently to her feet and extracted himself from her arms and then turned to face the rest of the class.

He waved to get everyone’s attention before talking, signing as he went. “I’m just going to Reception, with Ciri. I’ll ask Mr Fidháil to take you to the dining room. You’ll be good for him won’t you?”

The class chorussed their agreement with the exception of Marilka who grinned cheekily and said ‘No’.

He tilted his head in her direction and gave her a warning look. “What was that, dear Buttercup?”

She giggled. “Yes, Mr Jaskier!”

“That’s what I thought.” He shook his head. She was certainly a handful. “Come along now Ciri.”

He crossed the hall to Filavandrel’s room and asked him to keep on eye on his class whilst he went to the reception with Ciri. It would have been much easier if he could have just called Geralt on his own phone but that would have raised questions and ones he wasn’t prepared to answer.

“Mr Pankratz? Ciri?” Triss asked, surprised by their appearance. By the looks of it she’d just been packing up to head to lunch herself when they’d arrived.

“Can you call Geralt?” He asked. “Ciri has forgotten her lunch.”

Triss nodded and pulled up Geralt’s number on her screen. She was about to pick up the receiver when Jaskier stopped her.

“I can talk to him. Please.” He pleaded.

She was too professional to call him out in front of one of his students, especially Ciri, but he could see the mischievous glint in her eyes. He’d have to pay for that one later once the kids were on break. She dialled the number and passed him the receiver. “Thanks.” He muttered and smiled down at Ciri reassuringly.”

The phone rang a few times before Vesemir picked up to announce the fire station. Triss must have used Geralt’s work number.

“Ah. Vesemir isn’t it?” He stammered, unprepared to speak to not Geralt.

“That’s correct. What can I help you with? If it’s an emergency you need to call the emergency line.” Vesemir sounded tired, that was a relatable feeling.

“Oh no. No. Umm. Hi. I’m Jaskier Pankratz.”

“Geralt’s Jaskier?”

He blushed. “Umm. Well. I wouldn’t say that exactly.”

“Bath tub Jaskier?” Vesemir chuckled and he realised the older fireman was teasing him.

“Ah yes. That would be me.” He agreed reluctantly. “Is Geralt there?”

“Why?” Vesemir asked sternly.

“Ciri forgot her lunch today. I was wondering whether he could drop it off. It really is quite important!” Vesemir hummed in response.

Well wasn’t that very Geralt like?

Perhaps they really were like family.

Unfortunately, Jaskier wasn’t fluent in Vesemir’s grunts like he was with Geralt. “So is that a yes?”

“He’ll be there shortly, unless we get a call.”

Jaskier grinned. “Of course. Thank you Vesemir!” He replied but it was too late. The other man had already hung up the phone.

Ciri tugged at his arm. “Is that Uncle Vesemir?” She asked.

“It was, Ciri, your father is on his way. Shall we go wait in the lunch hall so the others can start to eat?”

She nodded with a sad smile.

“Tell Geralt we’ll be in the lunch hall!” He called back to Triss as he walked back to his classroom with Ciri.

“Will do.” Triss replied, Jaskier could practically hear the her eyes rolling.

He gathered the rest of class and bundled them into the lunch hall. They were later than he would have liked and his own break time would be cut short because of it but it was a risk of teaching a younger class. He couldn’t just let them wonder around the school on their own. At least he wasn’t on break duty this week. He hated break duty. It wasn’t so bad in the summer term but in the spring it could still be cold and it meant that he didn’t get a real break until he got home. He was, however, on after school pick up duty which meant he’d have to stay late.

Sometimes he’d stay late to finish off some marking at his desk, he didn’t really enjoy bringing his work back home, it made it harder for him to switch off when he was ready to relax in the evenings, but that was a choice. He hated being forced to stay late.

He sighed as Ciri ran off to join her friends. He browsed the hot food options but nothing really tickled his fancy so he picked up a cheese and onion sandwich instead. Sadly, being the beginning of the week there wasn’t a good dessert option. Fridays were the best for that. They always had chocolate cake with chocolate custard on Fridays. He reluctantly picked up an orange instead of a bowl of goopy rice pudding.

He wasn’t a fan of the rice pudding.

He was half way through his sandwich when Geralt arrived. Ciri ran over to him and he picked her up and spun her around as if she weighed nothing more than a feather.

Then again, Geralt had also picked him up like he weighed nothing and he was a lot larger than Ciri.

He snapped himself out of that train of thought before he ended up daydreaming about all the different ways Geralt could throw him about, preferably up against a wall, and walked over to the pair.

“Mr Pankratz.” Geralt greeted him as Ciri tugged her lunchbox from his hands.

“Geralt. Hi.” He flashed the fireman a dashing smile as the ashen-haired girl ran away to eat her lunch. “I’m glad you came.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t notice her lunchbox.” Geralt replied sheepishly. “It won’t happen again.”

“Nonsense.” Jaskier waved it off, Geralt could forget to notice more often if it meant he would come in to visit. “But I am worried about something Ciri said.”

Geralt frowned and Jaskier launched into an explanation of her tantrum and her fears about Geralt sending her away. “I know we agreed that she didn’t need to see anyone at the start of the term, but this isn’t the first time she’s overreacted when she thinks someone might leave her.”

“She’s just a kid.” Geralt huffed.

Jaskier nodded. “I know, my dear, but Ciri’s lost a lot already. I think she may have some form of rejection sensitivity.” Something Jaskier knew far too well. “It would do her good to be able to work through that with someone.”

Geralt pressed his fingers to his forehead. “It’s because I work too much. I can’t spend enough time with her anymore.”

Jaskier resisted the urge to hug his friend. “No. Geralt. No.”

“It was fine during Summer. We had a better routine. I could take her to see Roach every weekend. Now we’re lucky if we get to both go once a month. I rarely get weekends off anymore and she can’t go during the week. Poor Coën sees more of her than I do.”

“It’s not your fault, Geralt.” Jaskier said softly, his teacher voice seeped in slightly but it was hard to turn that off at school. “You never expected to be a single parent.”

Geralt just grunted in response.

“Just promise me you’ll consider what I’ve said, my dear.” Jaskier implored.

Geralt hummed.

“A promise needs words, Geralt.” Jaskier rolled his eyes at the fireman.

“I’m not a child, Jaskier.” Geralt grumbled but sighed when Jaskier put his hands on his hips and gave him a pointed look. “Fine. I promise I’ll think about it.”

“Excellent!” Jaskier clapped his hands together. “Now off you pop. I’m sure those wolves of yours will be missing you White Wolf.”

“Who told you about that?” Geralt snarked.

“Not telling!” He grinned.

It had been Lambert. After they’d met in the coffee shop, Lambert had asked for Jaskier’s autograph when Geralt had been distracted on his phone. Jaskier had happily scribbled on the back of a napkin and the pair had exchanged numbers in case the band ever decided to play live then Lambert would be one of the first to know. They didn’t talk much but Lambert did enjoy sharing embarrassing stories of Geralt at work. Jaskier had even been invited to hang out with Lambert and his brother one evening. It had been a little awkward at first but Jaskier had always had a talent for making friends and he found that he enjoyed Lambert and Eskel’s company rather a lot. It had been nice to make some new friends outside of work and his band.

“Jaskier.” Geralt almost growled which made his brain dive straight into the gutter.

Honestly, the way Geralt said his name should be illegal.

He couldn’t resist a wink at the fireman. “Allow me to have my secrets, dear heart.”

Geralt froze at the nickname that slipped out.

Fuck.

He hadn’t meant to say that. He didn’t even know where it came from normally he just stuck with ‘my dear’ or ‘darling’ both could easily be excused as Jaskier just being flamboyant, but ‘dear heart’? He couldn’t exactly hide his feelings with that one.

Fuck!

Geralt just smirked, and to the gods was it sexy. “Fine.”

“Good!” Jaskier stammered.

“But.” Geralt leaned a little closer and Jaskier could almost feel the tickle of breath against his ear. His heart was thundering in his chest and he felt like he was going to pass out. “You still owe me that drink.” Geralt whispered so that no one else could hear.

Jaskier’s cheeks lit up and his buried his face in his hands. “Geralt!” He chided. “I am working. Go on. Shoo!”

Geralt laughed but strode out of the school hall. Jaskier’s fingers twitched by his side, desperately needing to pluck away at non-existent strings.

He nervously looked around the room to see if anyone had noticed the interaction but everyone seemed to be engrossed in their lunches.

Thank Freya for that.

He managed to finish up his lunch in record time and the kids were all eager to go outside and play. He decided to spend his break at his desk. He couldn’t face Triss right now. He just knew she was going to corner him about Geralt and he didn’t have the energy to deal with that right now.

Maybe he could go for a nap?

He glanced at the clock at the back of the classroom.

He still had twenty five minutes. He could absolutely have a nap and the school bell would wake him up before his class came back inside.

He sighed and rested his head on his arms. It wasn’t comfortable but he was done and it was only fucking lunchtime.

He moaned into his desk.

Maybe if they could just keep the flirting to a minimum until summer then everything would be alright. Once he was no longer Ciri’s teacher then he couldn’t really be accused of doing anything wrong.

At this point he was certain that Geralt liked him back. He’d never seen the fireman flirt so openly around anyone else, he’d expected something around Renfri but really their whole vibe was more like siblings than anything else. He spoke fondly of Yennefer but again there didn’t seem to be any lingering chemistry between them, although that could very well be wishful thinking on his part, but he was good with people and he knew when people were flirting with him.

Geralt was definitely flirting with him

No matter how many times they both insisted what they were doing was just things that friends do.

He thought back on how his friendship with Geralt had grown. Starting with the clandestine meetings after school/work to discuss Ciri’s progress and the extra emails back and forth during the week, then after Solstice and he’d given Geralt his number leading to them occasionally hanging out in coffee shops whilst Ciri was at her Ukulele lessons with Pris and the infrequent evening phone calls if one of them had something to say that couldn’t wait until school time.

He swallowed.

Then the fire.

It had shaken him up more than he would have expected when he couldn’t put any weight on his ankle. He had been beginning to think he was going to burn naked in the bath and he really hadn’t wanted to greet the gods like that.

But Geralt had appeared like his own guardian angel. He’d been hoping Geralt would turn up but it could have easily been any of the wolves. Geralt had saved his life though. He would never forget that, even if his crush turned out to be just a fleeting moment in his life and they ended up passing like ships on an ocean.

They’d talked more frequently after that. Jaskier had had trouble sleeping the first few nights and Geralt seemed more than happy to stay up late talking to him in the evenings. Jaskier had even fallen asleep a few times whilst Geralt was still on the phone but he hadn’t seen Geralt in person since the fire.

And he missed him.

Fuck, he missed him.

Jaskier bumped his head against his desk a few times in frustration and then a thought hit him like a train.

They were dating.

The stolen moments after school, the emails, the phone calls and coffee shop dates.

They were fucking dating.

And no one else thought to let them know!

“Shit, shit, shit!” He shot to his feet and began pacing around the room and then yelled in frustration. He needed his guitar, or his lute or something!

He tore through the drawers of his desk looking for a spare notebook. He must have one somewhere. “Come on, come on, come on!” He muttered but there nothing expect the work books of the kids.

His fingernails dug into his palms as he clenched his fists.

What was he going to do?

They’d just been lying to themselves this whole time.

He had to cut it off. No more reckless meetings. No more evening phone calls.

And absolutely no flirting!

He could do that. He was a professional and Geralt was a parent. He just had to treat Geralt like any other parent. He fell in and out of love all the time. This would be easy. If he had any concerns about Ciri he would ask Triss or Tissaia to relay them. There was no need for him to get involved personally, except for parents’ evening and his weekly emails. Geralt probably wouldn’t even noticed. Geralt hadn’t noticed they were dating so he wouldn’t notice if Jaskier pulled away.

The plan formulated in his head, his hands tugging on the bottom of his shirt as he steadfastly ignored the pain in his heart.

No more gossiping with Triss over Geralt’s quite frankly sinful body, which was a shame because their friendship had really grown since Geralt had come into their lives. He hoped their new found camaraderie would last. It was good to have a partner in crime at the school. It had made his break times a lot more entertaining.

No more hot and heavy dreams.

Ok, maybe he couldn’t control that one but he would scold himself for it in the morning!

And he had to get a grip on this! Two of his colleagues had already been suspended just for expressing misogynistic views. If either of them dared to mention his chats with Triss about Geralt as part of their defence then he was a goner and he loved his job, he loved his kids.

His heart felt like it was burning in his chest but it was too late.

He’d made his decision.

If Geralt forgave him for this maybe they could try again in the summer.

He scoffed.

Why would Geralt forgive him? He didn’t deserve that. He’d led him on all year and, if he was right, he was going to break his heart just to save his own career.

He was a fucking idiot. ___________________

Next

[writingforyourpleasure]

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Characters: GERARD WAY x Reader

Link to chapter one :   https://writingforyourpleasure.tumblr.com/post/190745024051/on-the-road-again

Author’s note: Enjoy ! 

2.      “ 666 “

After they all introduce their self to you, they all went back to their conversation with Billy and Dex . You sat on the floor having nowhere else to sit . 

You listened to their argument about which of Gotham villains was the best one, just when you finally wanted to take part into the conflict a loud bang on the door resounded and a voice, probably of the boys crew, maked itself heard calling the guy for make up and costumes. You were also told to hurry up on yours if you wanted to be on stage in 30 minutes. You actually started to stressed out at this point . You got your make up done and your stage clothes on in top record. Your make up was blue flames under your eyes made with your electric blue liner and red eyebrows with mate black lips. Your stage clothes was a XL Chaos T-shirt in vivid red completely destroyed in which you almost drowned because he was so large, your camo pants and rangers , easy and perfect for a lot of sweating. You took your drum sticks and headed to the stage. 

A wave of screams maked itself heard at your arrival, fading as soon as you joined your kit and Dex his bass. You closed your eyes letting Dex start with their bass introduction to the first song soon matching them on their rhythm and the familiar passion eating you alive. No one existed , right now it was just like when you were sixteen. In your bedroom behind your drums and Dex facing you with his bass close to your bed , the door of your room open to let your parents listen to your music, they asked for it. And the most important public in the world , your dog Matcha. Yes, playing for an entire arena was just amazing, but right now you played for yourself , wanting to let yourself go . You always tried to give the best of yourself, you didn’t wanted to loose the magic of what this moment procured you. 

Once you’re part was done , an interlude of 30 minutes took places .

“Dude you smell SO bad right now” You shoved your left elbow into his ribs for yelling it so loud to anyone who would listened .

“Shut your stupid mouth , you smell as bad as I do”

“Well Y/N I’ll loved to say you’re right … but you aren’t” This shitty Ames said coming up in front of you to leave for the scene to bring back in your truck your instruments . soon followed by Billy who shout you up a smile.

“I think you smell okay Y/N”

“Thank you , but no need for such big lies pretty boy” You winked at him , making pink appeared under his beard . You walked it off with a smug grin along with an amused chuckled .

Crossing paths with Ray , Gerard , Frank and Mikey along the way. Then you headed for your lodge to be the first one to shower as Dex stayed over to the scene to help Billy and Ames .

  This was already three months ago. You were now on a break of one week , back to your parents house in the suburbia of Leeds, in the county of West Yorkshire in Northern England . Since you couldn’t afford the rent of your apartment in London, while not living in it for most part of the year, anymore. The positive point in all this was that you got to live with your dog Matcha the rare times where you weren’t on tour.

During those last three months a lot of things changed . You, Billy, Dex, Mikey, Frank, Gerard and Ray became friends pretty fast. Even through you gotta to admit the fact that Ray being a goddamn Greek god at the guitar, and also with his amazing hair, was a tiny bit intimidating. Ames and Max were friends with the guys too but less close to them than Billy, Dex and you were. Ames because he had a short temperament and had trouble trusting people he didn’t knew, and Max just because he was overwhelmed with work all the time, you seriously doubted he even took full nights of good sleep , a nap maybe but nothing more .

 The shows were great too, the fans were shoving enthusiasm in your band and your music which was a good sign. Sometimes some of them even asked for autographs at the end of shows, you weren’t really used to it, but you guessed nobody ever was in the end. Ray was the closest you got to, he was very kind, smart and someone you just enjoyed spending time around, Frank, Mikey and Gerard too but a little less than Ray even if you would never say it out loud or you would never hear the end of it. You just were still a little bit intimidated by him where Ray seemed more approachable sometimes. Dex is pretty close to Mikey and Gerard from what you observed. 

Dex, you and your new friends we’re often sharing the same bus , most of the time the one of the guys while Billy , max and Ames stayed on your sleep , unless for sleeping . But with the shows and the adrenaline that came with it, most of the time you didn’t made it to your bunks until early in the morning. The memory of it was all it took to put a small smile on your lips . 

You were actually on the carpet floor of your bedroom playing guitar , just above a whisper coz’ your parents we’re asleep on the other side of the hallway . Matcha was watching you , her tongue out breathing loudly with a huge smile on her face, comfortably laying on her favorite xxl cushion by the side of your bed.

 On your velux Window, the drops of rain created a gentle rhythm . It was 3 in the morning , you didn’t arrived to find sleep that easily at home since your bedtime on tour was much different. You’d came back two days ago, since then something seemed to be giving you anxiety . You couldn’t remember when you felt it for the first time . Was it on the plane home ? Before or after ? You didn’t know but you felt like something was wrong and couldn’t seem to shake the feeling. 

You started to play some chords in a random order getting lost into your music . It remembered you those nights when Ray or Frank would mess around with their guitar while you were all talking to each other after a show. You always just stood there, staring more than participating in the conversation . You really admire the way they played and was listening quietly before someone would start talking to you as always. Sometimes , even if it was rarely , Gerard would play, in those moments you just stared completely bewitched by him. He didn’t play as well as Ray and Frank , but had his way around it. He looked so gentle each time he’d done it with an huge concentration, where Ray and Frank seemed more carefree. You stopped playing guitar lost in your thoughts, as you were remembering the scene. 

His dark locks just falling before his eyes and you just sitting in front of him watching him more than the guitar. Then he locked his eyes with yours catching you staring like he did every time you looked at him playing . You didn’t know how every time he just felt your eyes on him and caught you before you could turn your gaze away, making you blush a little bit because you didn’t want to seem like a creep . But he would usually just have a smug smirk on his lips before sitting his guitar and joining the conversation with everyone. Just remembering it, made you blush .

When you woke up the next day with Matcha laying on your side as always . Today was no different than yesterday you still had this underlying anxiety on the back of your mind, you sigh . You really had hope it will go away today. You  made a point to go out today, just to change that train of thoughts. 

You usually just tried to avoid going out because here, people knew you , not from being in a band no, people knew you from high school and you knew them from it. So you didn’t had that much success with people finding you likeable here for some reasons. Well maybe it was coz’ back in high school you were full of cynicism and people had a hard time understanding your humor or lack of it . Being a nerd who played D&D on Sunday’s didn’t help either. Add the fact that you were one of the only people in your school who had crazy hair colors and who always talked back to shitheads . 

But you kinda wanted to pay your friend Charlie a visit, it’s been a while since the two of you hang out . Charlie was one of your friends in high school who was in your D&D Sunday group, she is now on medical school, to be a doctor , which means you didn’t get a lot of news from her by text but tried to both do your best to keep each other updated on your lifes.

You got up unfortunately waking up Matcha along the way and made your way downstairs, soon followed by your golden retriever. Finding your box of cereals and making yourself a mug of coffee for breakfast. Before your mom entered the room already dressed , your dad worked from 8am to 6pm at the University of Leeds as a Philosophy teacher and your mom was working as an astronaut at the British Space Program and she was currently on break for several months before her next mission.

“Hello Y/N , you and I are going to the mall shopping for food in less than 15 minutes so go get dressed .

“Hi mom, can’t you go alone ? I’d planned on staying home this morning and going over to Charlie’s later .” You said pretty annoyed with your mother’s request.

“I could use the extra help , so got change yourself would you ?” She said before hurrying out of the kitchen not waiting for you to answer .

You finished your bowl of cereals and your coffee , quickly going upstairs to change.

You were waiting for your mom on your porch facing your street number. Younger the fact that you lived on the 666 of your street always made you laugh, it still does. You decided to take a quick picture of the number plate and put it on Instagram writing below it :”Never gets old” quickly pulling away your phone as you mom was locking up the front door and walked up to her car with you on her tracks.

Once inside your side of the Bentley on the left , while your mom was climbing on the driver seat on the right , your phone buzzed inside of your jeans . You pulled it out unlocking it , only to see the comment on your last post .

@Gerardway: “ seems perfect for a cult summoning!”

[constantconfusion111]

Etched into your skin - Chapter 4

Here’s the 4th chapter, I hope you’ll enjoy it! :)

Link to AO3

Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2 ; Chapter 3

-------------------------

“I’m not sure I’m in the mood to go out.”

“What? But we already told P’Jeed we were going to play tonight!”

“I know, we’ll be playing, but I’m not in the mood to stay after we finish.”

Lhong sighed deeply, clearly having expected to hear that complain at one point during the evening.

“You haven’t been in the mood to do anything since the start of term Tharn. You have to go out every once in a while and enjoy life. Are you going to stay in your dorm for 4 years without ever leaving?”

To be fair, Tharn did go out sometimes. For classes. But even in his sour mood the man realised that would be a terrible argument to use during this conversation.

Since the discovery that Type must have been avoiding him -it was truly the only explanation he could make sense of- Tharn had been feeling miserable for himself. He had become one of these people rejected by their soulmate. But not only that, he’d been rejected before he had even met them. Talk about bringing bad luck to the next level.

Lhong had let him be at first, occasionally bringing him some food and offering his company to fill the too big room. Forcing him to join the rehearsal of their band. But the man seemed to now think going out was their next big objective to make him go back to normal and had asked P’Jeed to book them some stage time.

Frankly, had it been anyone but P’Jeed, who had treated him with so much kindness throughout the years, he would have called the gig off.

Tharn hadn’t shared the reason for his moodiness and Lhong must actually think it linked to the breakup with Tar, still. Tharn couldn’t bring himself to share his current situation, it would make it… too real. Like he had officially admitted his soulmate didn’t want to be associated with him.

“Come on, let’s go, you can brood in the car.”

--------------------

“So where are we going tonight?”

Type, Techno, and Champ were all gathered at the condo, getting ready to go out for a relaxing evening of fun, alcohol and music apparently.

“It’s a super cool bar, this guy I know is performing there tonight.”

Type frowned at that.

“You don’t know anyone that performs anywhere Techno, who’s that guy.”

Techno huffs, throwing them both a look over his shoulder.

“Certainly not any of you guys! You have the artistic soul of a fork.”

Type raised his hand to hit his friend, but the later dodged at the last second, laughing placatantly.

“I was joking, I was joking. It’s that guy from the music faculty I met last time. Cool dude, I owe him a beer.”

“You need to stop talking to strangers, you’ll get kidnapped one day,” warned Champ, tilting his pack of crisps to get the last crumbs stuck to the bottom.

“Nonsense, the guy is smaller than me.”

“What’s his name,” asked Type, going for casual while his whole body tensed.

“Lhong.”

Type could have sighed out loud in relief if not for Techno legendary nosiness. He’d managed to keep his friend out of his soulmate business for years now by some miracle. He fully intended to keep it that way.

“It better be good, that bar is so far away. We’ll have to taxi if you plan on drinking.”

The three put their shoes on and were out of the door the next minute. The evening was hot and humid as per usual. Many partygoers were already drunk and singing in the streets. Most of them were young looking and probably fellow students.

They didn’t have too much trouble finding a taxi and splitting the fare in three made it quite reasonable. The ride to the bar was definitely longer than usual. Normally, their criteria for picking a bar were: is the alcohol cheap? Can we crawl back home at the end of the evening?

This time, the bar looked more refined, the type of place that could easily become their ‘usual place’. The rumble of the music was audible from the outside, but not to the point of already being deafening.

At the entrance, they were welcomed by a beautiful smiling woman.

“Hello young men. I am Jeed, the owner of the bar. It’s the first time I see you around here.”

“Hello! Lhong recommended this place, he’s playing here tonight, we want to enjoy the live music.”

“That cute boy… Well, make yourself comfortable, there should still be some free tables next to the stage, the boys should start playing soon.”

They all bid her goodbye and made their way inside the bar. It was populated but not crowded and they indeed managed to find a comfortable table not too far away from the front. There were quite a few women all around them focused on the yet empty stage.

“Many pretty women here. It’s really a great recommendation.”

“So thirsty No. If only you could actually manage to get some I’ll be impressed,” replied Type, browsing the menu to see if there were any special drinks.

“The night is long, you can never know what will happen!”

“You mean apart from the usual: you get too drunk to stand and I have to bring you home carrying you?”

Techno was a lightweight and never knew when to stop until it was too late. Type wasn’t a big drinker, he had never actually gotten blackout drunk, which meant he often ended up playing babysitter for his other friends.

“Ah Techno! You managed to come!”

A young man, pretty much the textbook definition of adorable, approached their table as the women around them followed him with their eyes, whispering to their friends.

‘Hey man! Guys, this is Lhong, my saviour. These guys are my friends, we’re all in the sports department together.”

They all nodded to each other in acknowledgement.

“Thanks for coming, hope you’ll enjoy the music. If anything, the alcohol is good, you should try the Lao Khao, it’s very nice.”

“I’ll go order,” said Type, sliding off the chair, patting his pockets to make sure he had some money with him.

“Get me some snacks as well,” requested Champ.

Type rolled his eyes at the predictable request, but nodded nonetheless.

Jeed was behind the bar, and when she spotted him, she immediately approached with a large smile.

“What can I do for you handsome?”

Type put his usual snark on the backsit and offered her a smile in return, she had that mum energy that made it hard to rebuke or be bitter toward her.

“P’Jeed, I’d like to order some Lao Khao for the table. Also some rice crackers and fried eggs if we can.”

“Anything for you, let me give you the drinks, I’ll bring the food over as soon as it’s ready.”

Propping an elbow against the bar, Type gave another look around. The lights were dimmed and colourful, giving a very lively atmosphere to the whole place. As he scanned the room, he noticed his table had been invaded by yet another guy, currently using Lhong as an arm rest.

Even from the distance, Type could see the man was quite tall and well built, much more imposing than Lhong. His dark hair put in a fashionable cut were hiding his eyes just so.

“Here for you, Nong.”

He blinked in surprise at the voice calling for him before grabbing all the glasses and thanking the woman.

Slowly, he made his way back across the room and almost tripped when he made eye contact with the stranger at their table. He’d never seen a man with such large and deep eyes, catching his attention and refusing to let go. The dark circles under his eyes didn’t take anything away from how handsome his face was, angular and sharp, on the contrary. The man stared back, unintimidated by Type’s direct inspection.

Unfortunately, just as Type arrived at the table, Lhong and the stranger walked away and jumped on the stage, followed shortly by two other men.

“Here,” said Type, carefully putting their glasses down.

On stage, Lhong was getting everyone’s attention as the musicians were taking place behind their instruments. The stranger sat behind the set of drums, playing with the drumsticks as he waits for the singer to finish his introduction.

Type never cared much for music. He’d listen to the radio, put a playlist as background noise during his studying, but he never actively got into it. Never cared much for the various bands or artists. Certainly never spared a shed of attention for the drummers.

But here he was, unable to look at anyone else than that guy.

If Type had ever thought the man was handsome before, it was nothing compared to the moment he started playing. His features and his posture immediately relaxed as his eyes closed. He hadn’t even noticed how tense the guy was up until that moment.

“Whoa, they’re super cool!” Techno was swaying from one side to the other, enjoying the song.

“Lhong has a very nice voice,” agreed Champ, nodding along to the rhythm.

Type hummed his agreement, drinking slowly. And then their eyes meet again.

Who in the fucks was this guy.

Only Techno’s joy at the arrival of the food managed to get him to look away.

As talkative and sociable as ever, Techno drew Champ into conversations in between enjoying the music that was being played. Type made a special effort to listen to his best friend, trying his hardest to not stare at the drummer to the point of ogling.

“Who do you think is most popular, musicians or sportsmen?” wondered Techno, staring at the women cheering for the band.

“Musicians. It makes them look more sensitive or some shit like that,” replied Type.

“But, we have hot bodies!”

“Yeah cause these guys are so ugly,” retorted Champ, pointing to the band with his chin.

They all instinctively turned toward them and fuck, Type was an idiot, why did he look again.

The drummer had an impressive build, just like Type had imagined from the other side of the bar. The muscles in his forearms kept on flexing and relaxing with each movement. And where these… veins he could see from here?

“What the fuck…”

Thankfully, Techno seemed to interpret it as a general statement more than a targeted one.

“They are handsome.”

“Here you go,” concluded Champ around a mouthful of salted eggs.

The band played for a while, doing some covers while including a couple of original songs in the mix. They were really good and Type actually managed to enjoy the music despite finding himself uncontrollably going back to the drummer. As much as he never really cared for music, he cared even less for musicians. He never got the whole frenesy around celebrities and concerts and ‘you must see it live’. But looking at the man, maybe he could start to make sense of it.

He didn’t seem focused on the audience at all, the only thing that mattered was the music and his drums. Type couldn’t explain the expression on the man’s face, it was intense and passionate and pleased. And entirely too hypnotic.

Type got up to get himself another drink, put some distance and put clear his head. The music came to an end as he waited, Lhong thanks getting drowned by the clapping of the patrons.

Beer in hand, he got out of the bar and rested against the wall. The air outside was barely fresher than inside, but at least there was some silence. Type sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes.

What was that guy’s deal?

And what was his own deal?

As if summoned by too loud thoughts, the drummer came out of the bar, bag under the arm, rummaging through it thoughtfully, ready to leave.

“Hey!”

Type wasn’t sure which of them was most surprised. He hadn’t called out to him consciously at least. The silence started to stretch as Type was too busy getting lost in the other’s man features to come up with something clever to share.

“Yes?” tried to prompt the man, looking him up and down. Type felt strangely self conscious, trying to relax his stance.

“Mmh… great job tonight in there.”

The drummer offered a half smile, pulling his car keys out of the bag.

“Thanks, if you liked it you should come back again, we play next week too.”

The man walked away, not hearing Type’s ‘I will’.

[alittletournesol]

Sing Your Soul {JongKey} part 5/6

Part 5

The ovation wasn’t as loud as in some stadium during a worldwide sports event, but the few applauses whose sound resounded in the bar were more than enough for Jinki’s smile to enlighten his features. He was rarely performing more than two new songs every time he was to be the artist of the night at the Blue Night, yet he always recognized some regular customers who showed no boredom in listening to the same pieces over again.

Respectfully, he bowed for as long as he was celebrated and when he straightened up while approaching his mic from his lips, all hands ceased their clapping. It was like everyone was already prepared to hang on his every word even before a first sound escaped his mouth.

“Thank you for listening to me, I hope you enjoyed the new song.” The singer said, smiling and his eyes travelling to meet every face in the audience. “You will have the opportunity to hear it again and as much as you wish to, in a few weeks when my next work will be released.”

As he was speaking a bit more about the aforesaid song, the lyrics and their thematic, rhythm, meaning… Kibum got his attention drew to his left, where Jonghyun was sitting and staring at the artist on stage. His eyes were literally shining and his lips half open as he focused on the explanations, sometimes mouthing a wow and nodding when he felt some words. The event planner couldn’t help but smile with pride as he realized what a good idea he had to make the blonde man come that evening.

“Unfortunately, I have been asked to keep my other songs secret until the release.” Jinki ended up confessing, earning a few whines. “I’m just as disappointed as you are, obviously, but although I don’t have anything left to sing for tonight… I would like to offer you a surprise. Actually, I’m not offering, more proposing an alternative that I think will impress you.”

“And before our artist’s clumsiness spoils everything, let’s take a short break to get ourselves prepared.” Minho suddenly climbed the stage to stand up by his boyfriend’s side, a second mic in hands. “I see some glasses are empty, please allow me to come take your next orders and feel free to use this pause to use the smoking room.”

Once he finished his speech, the bartender switched both mics off and went to pull the curtain himself to hide the stage for the time of break. Customers started chatting or stood up to go take a smoke or just breathe some fresh air in the back street of the bar. Minho was quick to come back and before he went back to work with clearing and new orders, he waved towards his best friend and showed the small, hidden backstage, mouthing something.

Kibum had always been good at reading on one’s lips despite his work mostly consisting in phone calls ; he got the information right away and stood up, gently tapping the subway singer’s shoulder to quietly tell him to follow. The latter didn’t wait to be asked twice and wove in and out between the tables and standing people, his eyes never leaving the silhouette leading him. In his chest, his heart was beating faster with each step he took until he found himself behind the stage’s wall.

It was long and narrow, certainly the entire length of the bar’s wall, but a couple of lamps lit a comfortable double sofa, a tea table and all electric boxes and cables. Eyeing everything, Jonghyun eventually noticed Jinki who stood up from his seat and walked towards him with a reassuring smile.

“So, tell me.” He said, crossing his arms above his chest. “Did you choose your songs since the break ?”

“I think I have a lot that can fit tonight’s atmosphere, yes.” The blonde singer nodded but his nervousness was noticeable in the way he scratched his nape while talking. “Though I don’t want to steal your spotlight or something.”

“Man, my part is done tonight, so take the damn spotlight. Will you sing covers or…?”

“One cover, but actually I compose songs so I thought I might give a try to two of them. If I can ?”

“Of course you can, you can do whatever you want on stage. We gotta work on that self confidence of yours, huh ?”

“I’m on it.” Kibum spoke in, winking at Jonghyun when the latter looked at him and smiled in return. “Do you think Ming will like him enough to hire him ?”

“He’s clearly going to pretend thinking, considering, all that business man’s stuff… but trust me, he already got the papers ready.”

“Really ?” The subway singer raised his eyebrows, honestly surprised. “You’re kidding, he didn’t hear me sing yet !”

“You will learn that Minho is someone who hides his thoughts and emotions, even the positive ones.” The event planner smiled. “But first of all, he watched those videos of you I sent to him and allowed me to find you. He drove me to your subway station himself, on last Sunday, but he couldn’t make it to Yongsan with me.”

“He entrusted you with finding me and bringing me here ?”

“Second thing to know about him.” The eldest man snorted. “He can’t refuse anything if it comes either from me or Kibum. And we both stood up for you so he got defeated.”

“That totally sounds like a scheme.”

“Yeah right ? Now it’s your part, I’ll take your seat !”

With one last wink and thumb up, Jinki wished the other singer good luck and disappeared in the audience, leaving both Kibum and him alone and quiet. The younger man’s eyes shifted as soon as they locked gazes and he pretended to check something on the electric box — though he didn’t understand a single connection in this thing. But the silence quickly went awkward and when Jonghyun cleared his throat, he had no choice but look up and talk.

“So… you’re ready ?” He asked. “It’s not completely like a station but it shouldn’t feel that different, right ?”

“Every place conveys a different feeling, I can sense these things.” The blonde singer smiled. “But I like it here, though I feel on the nerves, you know…”

“Stage fright ?”

“I guess so, I mean, they’re here to listen. In a station, I’m mostly a background noise except for the few people who stop for a minute to focus a bit more on me. They don’t come to listen to me but to take their train, while here…”

“Maybe you feel like you’re a background noise, but people remember you. I wouldn’t have been able to find you if it hadn’t been for this little girl to know your name and her mother to know where you sing. I’m sure they’re not the only ones who know about the white haired guy who sings at Sindang. You were being noticed, now you will be listened to.”

“Can I ask you something ?”

“Sure.”

“The other time, you told me I moved you. Among all my songs you’ve heard, could it be at the stations or in these videos… is there one that moved you more than others ?”

Kibum cocked an eyebrow, he hadn’t expected this question and hadn’t really thought of ranking the songs he had heard. He didn’t even know the titles and was unable to humming them even if he wanted to — he was too scared of ruining it in front of its creator. Instead, he grabbed his phone and opened his favourite app, tapping the screen until it opened a folder of saved posts with a musical note emoji as its title.

He scrolled a bit and his thumb stopped, seemed to hesitate between two videos, and Jonghyun noticed his trouble. As he approached, the other man turned his phone towards him and eventually showed him both. 

“This one was the one you were singing when I saw you the first time and it’s stuck in my mind since then.” The brown haired man said, his voice surprisingly low and his eyes still on the screen. “But I like this one too. Do they have titles ?”

“Of course, the first one is MONO-Drama, it’s a particular one.” Jonghyun answered before the tip of his finger selected the second video. “And this one is Beautiful Tonight, you can hear me sing it.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I like Beautiful Tonight more, it has something special that speaks to me, I couldn’t say why.”

“I see. You saved a lot of videos, I didn’t know I got filmed so much.”

“You never looked for yourself on social media ?”

“I don’t really use social media.”

“You wh—”

“Sorry to interrupt you, but the show will resume soon.” A voice caught their attention and they met with Minho who had his head coming out from behind the wall. “Time to get on stage.”

The bartender disappeared as fast as he had shown up and both men left their conversation on hold as Kibum led Jonghyun to the stage, even joining him there to adjust the mike for him. Within the few minutes the customers took to find their seat back, the blonde man grabbed the high stool that was leaning against the wall, since his predecessor preferred standing. He slowly pulled the synth closer to him and connected his music player to it, opening a playlist of three instrumental songs.

While the event planner made sure the instrument and the sounds control console were linked up, he asked the other man if he needed anything more. He could already hear his best friend drawing the audience’s attention for the last, exclusive part of that evening. The confident smile on Jonghyun’s lips was enough of an answer and Kibum raised his fist to wish him good luck, before he walked down the stage and discreetly joined his seat.

From behind the curtain, the blonde singer took a short moment to regulate his breathing, closing his eyes and focusing on his lungs filling and emptying themselves until the sensation of all his organs quivering stopped. When he heard people applauding, he looked up and waited for the large piece of fabric to be pulled to the side, revealing the dozen of tables being now in the dark as the lights were all on him. 

They were all looking at him and he scanned the whole room until his eyes met with a familiar face, the event planner smiling at him and nodding to give him strength. Returning the smile, Jonghyun eventually leaned on to have his lips closer to the mike.

“Good evening, my name is Kim Jonghyun.” He said, and his smooth talking voice already prepared everyone for what would come next. “I’m gladly standing, or should I say, sitting in front of you tonight to introduce you a few of my works. Before starting, I would like to thank the owner of this beautiful place for letting me in, and for Lee Jinki who you heard previously, for proposing me to come on stage after him. I will do my best to be worthy of this spot he was standing on earlier. Please welcome me well.”

He shyly smiled when the audience applauded once more to salute his speech and encourage him, and straightened up while pulling the mike, clearing his throat and pressing the play button on the synth. A melody immediately resounded in the loudspeakers and faces lit up as it was extremely recognizable to most of customers ; smiles appeared and some even whispered to each other as they enjoyed the surprise.

“I will start with a cover of a song that is really a favourite of mine.” The singer said before he playfully smiled. “Let’s try not to ruin it.” 

No sooner said than done, Jonghyun’s fingers closed on the mike and his voice started following the instrumental. He had chosen to perform a cover to let people get used to his so uncommon timbre, and the song he was singing was indeed one he held dear in his heart. He was a romantic person, and the lyrics inspired him on writing his own ; the story of a man who was in love with a woman but feared her turning his confession down. As he longed for her, he experienced insomnias filled with endless thoughts and worries.

The song’s rhythm alternated between low and high pitches, but Kibum found himself impressed by how the singer handled these changes smoothly, with no apparent effort. Even the way he managed to give the same emotional vibe but with a different colour, his colour, during the chorus, gave shivers to everyone. Could it be when he willingly broke his voice on certain words to give the impression of being breathless, or when his throat vibrated as he held a note on the word insomnia, everything was beautiful.*

It was the first time the event planner heard him sing a song he already knew, and it had nothing to do with when you sing your favorite song while showering ; it was mastered, from vocals to emotions.

“Thank you for listening.” Jonghyun eventually said, making the brown haired man realise he was done with the song as soft applauses welcomed his performance. “I could say this song is the one that made me want to sing, and more than that, to try writing and composing my own songs. I still lack a lot but I hope you will enjoy the next song, which is my own creation.”

Bowing his head, the blonde singer sat better in front of the synth and arranged the mike horizontally so he could use his hands on the keys. As he pressed play on the second piece, the distant sound of rain falling slowly raised from the loudspeakers, until customers made out what sounded like a repetitive ringtone. Before their surprise had time to reduce, a melody started while the man’s voice came out, yet not from his mouth ; it was like the phone had been picked up and he was the one talking. 

One could only hear his voice, not the other person’s, the conversation about Jonghyun being on his way to join his friends for a drink after work. After a last ok, it was like the phone got hung up and the man started singing for real, while his fingers were gently hitting the synth’s keys to accompany the instrumental. And just then, with the only power of his voice and lyrics, he told a story of his own to every single soul in the room, his timbre fitting so much to the sweetness of his words.

Meeting friends, drinking and laughing as they reminisced their friendship. The curious but familiar way they became kids again, whenever they made time in their respective schedules to gather all together and talk… it was all about remembering and making new memories in a comfortable atmosphere, their heart warming up thanks to this moment of reunion just as their body heating up because of alcohol.

While he listened just as everyone else, Kibum had his eyes staring at Jonghyun’s facial expressions ; it wasn’t just any story, it could only be his. Through a song, he was talking about his late night meetings with longstanding friends who grew up together, getting together for a drink. It was so noticeable on his features that he was feeling every single word he sang, that every sentence every question intended for a friend had once been told in real life. The atmosphere of this moment was conveyed through the rhythm and the tone, making the audience immerse in it with him.

And as if he wanted to confirm his every questioning gaze, the song ended on another distant conversation, as if coming from a phone again. This time, it wasn’t him talking to a friend, but a record of several voices chatting all together that continued for a few seconds even after the instrumental stopped. The last sound they heard was cheering, clinking soju glasses.*

“Cheers.” Jonghyun eventually said as he pretended to raise a glass, drawing a few smiles in the audience and some even responded to his gesture before drinking. “You know this feeling, right ? I hope you liked it. Shall we go with the last song ? Someone here heard it already and appreciates it, so let’s dedicate it to this person, hmm ? Let’s go.”

Kibum got startled when he caught the blonde man glancing at him when talking about the person who knew his next song. But it was quite brief, just quick enough for him to understand he was this person, what made him blush and shyly smile as he focused even more. Jonghyun pressed play for the last time that evening, but he didn’t show any intention to accompany the melody again ; instead, he removed the mike from its stand and brought it to his lips, while crossing his legs.

It was clear that the new instrumental had been made with a synth, with the piano’s sounds modified to give a different vibe. It was a steady, regular rhythm that introduced a peaceful atmosphere, it made one want to take a calm walk on it. When the singer opened his mouth to tell another story, the message seemed to have changed ; it wasn’t a friends topic anymore but about a man taking the woman he loves home, and willingly saving time on their way to stay with her longer.

This time, it was like Jonghyun was talking to the woman herself, his voice more whispering than singing, low and gentle, soft and intimate. But the story was short, as he eventually started repeating the same words, beautiful tonight and oh say, accompanying them with slow whistles.

A smile was drawn on his lips for a second, disallowing him to properly whistle and forcing him to get himself together, when he noticed that after a few times, some customers had their lips shaped in a o as if whistling with him. Some others were slowly moving their head on the piercing yet soft sound’s rhythm, and it filled his heart with joy… especially when his eyes fell on Kibum, who was part of this second type of listeners. The latter smiled at the blonde and slowly nodded, quietly notifying him of how well he was doing. 

A song had never seemed so short, but when it ended, Jonghyun’s disappointment was quickly replaced with gratefulness as he bowed his head, people applauding and even standing for some. He kept his head lowered as he stood himself to bow even more, and he joined his hands together when straightening up, his eyes shining while he couldn’t realise what he had just done. Even when Minho climbed on stage and politely took the mike to announce the end of the small concert, he only had eyes for whoever was in front of him.

He didn’t notice the curtain being pulled in front of him, and the last thing he saw before he needed to sit backstage for a moment, was Kibum still standing and applauding without ceasing to look at him. 

_________________

“They want to hear more stories.”

Jonghyun didn’t even hear the bartender as his eyes were stuck to the guest book that had been filled by almost all customers who had attended that evening’s concert. It was an usual thing, he had been told, and really dear to Minho : on every Wednesday, he would place this book in front of the bar’s door, on a music stand, for people to leave their impressions about the performances they had heard. 

Sometimes it was just a short message of congratulations, but there also were talkative ones with personal thoughts on a song they liked better, praises and promises to come again… though this time, it seemed Jinki had been quite forgotten, for almost all words were intended for the new blonde artist with a silky voice. It was unbelievable and the concerned man was unable to talk.

“Oh, look there.” Taemin said as he pointed at a message. “See hyung, someone mentioned you before praising him. Here, at the beginning.”

“I still have one fan here, thank God.” Jinki heartily laughed. “Though I understand them, I rarely heard something as beautiful as what you offered tonight, man.”

“They really… liked me ?” Jonghyun eventually asked, looking up and his eyes looking for any form of assent from any of the four men surrounding him. “I mean, I felt that they were liking the songs but… the messages are all about me, they call me an artist…?”

“I told you you would be listened to and not remain a background noise.” Kibum smiled. “To think you rejected me at first ! I know how to recognize potential when I see it.”

“Come on dude, it’s no time to praise yourself.” Minho rolled his eyes and paid attention to the blonde man. “They really liked you, and your songs. Some were event disappointed that you couldn’t sing more, they told me themselves when coming to the counter to pay.”

The subway singer stood gaping for a moment, before he leaned against the sofa’s backrest. He didn’t know what to think nor what to say, too many things were happening in his mind right now, and he was feeling like his chest was going to explode. 

“I think tonight might not be a good moment to talk business.” The bartender ended up saying, slowly taking the book back and standing up. “What about we meet tomorrow when I close and discuss your next performance ?”

“My… my next performance ?” Jonghyun repeated, looking at the tall man. “Do you want me to come back ?”

“And I will pay you for it. Customers liked you, and I can’t deny you’ve got a real talent, also you’ve got three men right there who will drown me in the Han river if I don’t hire you right now.”

“I can’t believe it…”

“That’s why I suggest you to come back tomorrow to talk about it with a clear head. But if you want to, consider yourself hired already. Our next three Wednesdays are booked already but if you can wait, I will make sure you get the one after. That leaves you almost a month to prepare, sounds good ?”

“Sounds damn good. Where do I sign ?”

Both laughed and exchanged an enthusiastic handshake, under the extremely content stare of the three other men. Kibum was the proudest, standing with his arms crossed to give himself a nonchalant attitude, but deep inside, he was feeling all excited. Although he knew Minho couldn’t refuse him anything, he couldn’t say he would have hired Jonghyun if it hadn’t been for the latter to have potential.

The Blue Night’s owner only hired artists. And the event planner had brought him one he would never regret hiring.

___________

to be continued

[ashandasindatails]

Taffy’s Priestess

1700 words-ish Girl meets the dragon deity who she worships above the rest, the beginning of her long career of serving as her high priestess.

Short little story about a friend’s universe featuring me as a not dragon! This is the only story so far with that, haha. Basically just an Asinda AU.

Unfortunately italics did not copy over and I’m too lazy to go find every single instance of them, so sorry about that. On shorter posts I’ll remedy that; on longer ones I likely won’t be writing in tumblr so I’ll probably have a Docs link too.

Rest of the story under the cut!

Asinda was tired of walking. 

She couldn’t stop, of course, but that was little consolation. What did make her keep trudging on was the thought of what she might find.

It had been three days now of walking through the forest. It wasn’t the biggest forest ever, but one dryad can only go so far in a day, even if they don’t have the brush to contend with like everyone else. So, it had been almost half a week of walking, foraging, and constant vigilance. She had Worrywort to keep her eyes open, but she was starting to feel the strain. 

She ignored the strain. Asinda would walk for weeks to find what she was looking for, if she had to. 

She ducked under a branch, letting the top of her head brush against it. The moisture from last night’s rain slipped off onto her head, peppering it in droplets. The small red and white flowers on her head began to soak it up. They were shaped like miniature dragon wings, hence the name Sprouting Flight. They were a rare breed, and probably what had started her fascination with dragons. Her mother claimed that meant that she was destined for something rare. 

That ‘something rare’ had already passed. 

In her youth, Asinda had been attacked by an illness that kept her bedridden for weeks. She had finally managed to pull out of it, after much praying and much medicine. She had mostly recovered, but the high fever had made its mark on her mind. She tended to talk a little bit slower, now, and she had a hard time staying on her feet. The forest helped with that; the soft touch of a vine or a nudge from a branch had protected her from many a fall. She didn’t see the effects, much, though people still commented on how she had changed. 

Asinda didn’t care to notice. 

Her jaunt through the woods was almost coming to a close for the day. The darkening sky meant that it would soon be too late to continue walking. Although this forest was kind, Asinda didn’t think the trees would appreciate her bouncing off of them in the dark, tumbling around in the bracken. So, she searched her surroundings in the twilight woods, finding a little clearing against a cliff face to spend the night. There looked to be a pair of caves carved into it, but Asinda preferred sleeping under the stars than in total darkness, dim as the light shining through the canopy was. 

She set up for the night, letting her pack slide to the ground, digging around inside it. She didn’t need to make a fire - the summer night air kept her warm, and she didn’t need light for anything important. Plus, the forest didn’t like it. 

Asinda changed into a set of sleeping clothes, made from a softer, lighter fabric. She made up a bed from the leaf litter on the ground, easing herself down into its soft fragrance. 

Even when the moon was at its peak, she still wasn’t asleep. 

Asinda sighed, shifting her position slightly. She was worried this would happen. On sleepless nights like this, she usually had Lyel, her tiny handmade dragon, to help soothe her to sleep. For some reason, she was the only one who could do it with any consistency. Even my sleep is dominated by scales, Asinda thought wryly. 

There was one other thing she could do, but Asinda loathed the thought. When her flowers had just begun to grow, her mother had written a song, as she loved to do. It was about a young maiden searching for dragons. Even then, they had been a defining aspect of her person. Asinda’s mother often described her love for the divine beings as a glow, shining out from her heart and bathing everything around her in a bright light. Asinda had always giggled at the description. She couldn’t see how it shone outside of her, but she hadn’t questioned her mother on it. 

She began to hum. The tune of the song was simple, but it had little complexities that made it unique. Asinda had never heard it played with an instrument, though she longed to. Working up the courage, she began to softly sing the words, letting her voice float through the trees. It warbled and wavered, not quite the right pitch, but always clear. She hadn’t ever sung it before, not even to an audience of flora such as she had. The life around her relaxed as it listened to her sing. 

And Asinda drifted into sleep. 

She was woken by a voice. It whispered softly, threading through her mind, pleasing and soft. It felt big - much bigger than any voice she had felt before. It knocked her out of her slumber, and Asinda opened her eyes to meet the green filtering down through the canopy. She couldn’t see where the voice had come from. Must have been a dream... 

She stretched, sitting up. It was about an hour past dawn, judging by the angle of the light. She had slept late. I’ll have to pick up the pace today. She was heading towards the center of the forest, where she was more likely to run into the Drake of the Forest: Taphruss. Asinda had heard a rumor that the Drake was headed towards the Heart, and had set off in an instant, the temptation of being able to meet a dragon too much for her to resist. 

After a morning call to the forest, Asinda had a small breakfast of fruit before packing up. She climbed to her feet, ready to continue her solemn march. 

“Where are you off to, little one?”

Asinda froze in her tracks. That was… that was the voice from her dream. She glanced around herself frantically, trying to see who had spoken. 

She was met with the cliff she had slept beside shifting and looking at her with sharp, piercing, beautiful eyes. 

Taphruss. 

Asinda’s mind jerked to a stop like a horseback rider hit by a pike. She couldn’t process what was in front of her. The only thing her head could come up with was DRAGON. It circled around, swimming through her empty consciousness. Nothing else could connect, not a single emotion or thought. Not even the dragon’s speech broke the spell. 

“Little one? Are you well?” The enormous dragoness tilted her head to the side, inspecting. Asinda. “Has something gone wrong?”

And suddenly she could speak. 

“OHMYGOSHIT’SYOUISLEPTNEXTTOYOURFACEI’MSORRYIDIDN’TREALIZEYOUWERETHEREANDIT’SACTUALLYTAFFYI’MSOSORRYDOINEEDTOBOWORSOMETHING?” 

Taphruss blinked, surprised at the outpouring of words. “Calm, little one. What was that you called me?”

“T… T-Taffy.” Asinda blushed bright red, a stark contrast to the dark greens and browns of the dragon’s scales. “That… that’s what I used t-to, um, to call you when… when I was younger.” She omitted the part about playing make-believe with her imaginary versions of the Drakes. That detail was probably unnecessary. 

The ground rumbled. It took Asinda a second to realize that it was Taphruss laughing. “Taffy,” she repeated, tasting the word, drawing it out. “I… well, I believe I like it, although that might be morning drowsiness. It fits your voice.”

Asinda had no response. 

The dragon began to move, the trees seeming to slip around her, barely even rustling as her scales flowed between them. A large tail came forward, directly towards Asinda. Before she could move, it stopped right in front of her feet. The end was covered in a huge tuft of fur that was the color of bright summer moss. 

“Come, little one. I’d like to hear more from you.” Taphruss sat still. Did she… did she want her to climb on her tail? The Drake of the Forest, inviting her - a crippled dryad - to ride on her back? These beings were literal gods. What… what was going on?

“I… I would… l-love… yes!” In her haste to board the Drake’s tail, Asinda forgot to be careful. Her feet tangled with each other, sending her face-first into the dirt. 

Her world crashed down with her. Was she really about to do this? Would it be disrespectful? What if Taphruss actually didn’t like her? What if she couldn’t keep up with her expectations? She began to tremble, all of her thoughts mixing in a whirlwind, scattered like leaves before a gale. 

She picked herself up slowly, staring at the ground, now shaking like an aspen. She bowed low before Taphruss, Drake of the Forest, and now witness to her clumsiness. She desperately clawed her lessons in court speech from the depths of her memory back to the surface. “I’m sorry, my, my Lady… I’ve been left with a poor sense of balance since youth.” She gulped, choosing her next words carefully. “Are… well, are you sure I’m worthy to… to be in your presence?”

Taphruss just laughed. “Of course, little one. If you weren’t, I would not have allowed you to stay near me all night. As it is, your song of dragons enchanted me. I would hear more, if you are willing.”

“I… my mother. She taught me the song.” Asinda cringed at her response. 

“I would meet her, then. Come, guide me to her. I promise, little one, you are more than welcome on my back.” The dragon smiled. It was radiant, full of an intense love. And it was focused entirely on her. 

That was all the convincing she needed. 

“O-okay!” Asinda said, scrambling up onto the tail, walking along it carefully, all the way up it’s length until she reached Taffy’s back. It took several minutes, due to the sheer size of the dragoness and her careful, shaky movements, but the goddess stayed still and waited patiently for Asinda to make it all the way. At one point, she reminded her to take care, raising a blush on Asinda’s cheeks. 

Asinda could feel the glow inside her heating up. She was atop a dragon. It was incredible. Taffy looked back to make sure she was settled, and Asinda was met with a striking profile of her face, all elegant curves and fine edges. She knew, from that moment, that she wouldn’t leave Taffy’s side unless she was forced. The thought of not being here, able to run her hands along the giant, green scales, filled her with dread. She loved every part of this being. She had walked for days just to catch a glimpse of a dragon; it was hard to believe that she had met one the one she longed to see. 

The crown of Sprouting Flight on her head swayed as Taffy ruffled her wings. 

The Drake and her new priestess slipped through the sunlight towards home. 

[our-smooty]

Take Me to Church Chapter 21: Flash

Fandom: Gorillaz

Rating: Explicit

Relationships: 2doc

Tags: Car Accidents Angst Hurt/Comfort Drugs/Alcohol Implied/Referenced Suicide SuicideHealing Everything Hurts

Summary: The band is back together, but things are… weird to say the least. But when a crisis arises, can they pull it all together and be a family again?

Link to other Chapters on my Blog!

Unfortunately, the peace from dinner didn’t continue over to the next day. The morning started off well, Murdoc woke up beside a sleeping 2D and proceeded to wake him up with an amazing blowjob. The singer was in a great mood after that and so was Murdoc. They took a shower together and ate leftover spaghetti for breakfast. By the time they were finished, Russel had joined them at the table, making himself a much more conventional breakfast of toast and eggs.

“So, are you two comin’ with me to the hospital?” he asked. The question was casual, but Murdoc didn’t miss the way the drummer's eyes flicked to him briefly. It took the majority of his self-control not to snap defensively.

“Actually,” 2D piped up, “I think me and Muds are gonna stay here.”

“2D…” Murdoc sighed, leaning his chin on his fist. The singer frowned.

“We talked about this Murdoc…”

“I told you I don’t need a nanny!” the bassist growled. The sight of the other flinching back brought up bad memories, and Murdoc took a deep, calming breath. “D, you should go with Russel. I’ll be fine here.”

2D was fidgeting with his hands nervously, glancing between him and Russel. “I-I don’t know Muds…”

Luckily, Russel, ever the sane one, had an idea. “What if Murdoc checked in with us, while we’re out D? D’you think you could do that Muds?”

Murdoc rolled his eyes. “Fine I’ll send you a text, alrigh’?” 2D thought about it, chewing on his bottom lip. Murdoc wondered if the singer knew how much that turned him on.

“I guess, jus’ promise that you will call OK?” Not one for PDA--even if it was only in front of Russel--Murdoc put a hand on Stu’s shoulder and squeezed.

“I promise, D.” The other leaned into the touch slightly before straightening back up. Russel watched the two with a bemused look on his face, which Murdoc tried to ignore. He felt like he was under a microscope, every action scrutinized.

“We should get goin’ then, D,” Russel said, picking up his plate and taking it to the sink. “Should probably do some grocery shoppin’ too, while we’re out.”

“OK Russ,” the singer said slowly, giving Murdoc one last glance. Russel seemed to sense the tension between them and stepped out of the room to get ready. Not for the first time, Murdoc was grateful the drummer was so in-tune with their dynamic.

“It’ll be fine, Stu,” Murdoc said, getting up and wrapping his arms around the singer from behind. 2D sagged in his hold, resting his head against Murdoc’s shoulder and turning to kiss his cheek.

“I-I know, I t-trust you. It’s hard, with Noodle sick an you…”

“I know,” Murdoc interrupted. He didn’t want to hear the younger say it, didn’t want to face it right now. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, alrigh'?”

2D sniffled, getting up to hug the Satanist properly. “OK. I love you, Muds.”

Murdoc felt himself begin to blush, those three little words filling him up with so many conflicting, but mostly pleasant, emotions. “I uh--”

“S’ok, you don’t have to say it righ’ now.” What had he done to deserve such an understanding, perfect partner? The familiar feeling of guilt and inadequacy began to rise up inside him, but he managed to push it down, reminding himself that he was trying to be better this time.

“Thank you, D.”

At that point, Russel came back and reminded 2D that they needed to go. Murdoc let Stuart go, giving him a smile and a gentle push towards the door. “Go on, Bluebird. I’ll be here when you get back.” 2D nodded, his expression determined. Satan, Murdoc though, he was so adorable.

When the drummer and singer finally left, Murdoc realized he had no idea what he was going to do for the entire day. He hadn’t been alone in the house for ages, what did he even do on his own before the whole Noodle debacle? Drink and smoke, drug himself into oblivion? But he couldn’t do any of that now, not to the extent he would have liked. He was making an effort to be better.

In the end, he decided it’d be worthwhile to go up to his room and work on some music as a distraction from the silence of the house. He grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge--he knew he couldn’t quit drinking cold-turkey--and headed upstairs. On the way up he saw Katsu, sunbathing on the landing. He stopped to give the cat a quick scratch behind the ears before making the rest of the trek.

Though he and 2D had cleaned his room up, it was still a monument to his degrading mental state. There were still bottles under the bed, and loose pills on the bedside table. Just the sight of the drugs made his mouth water and his brain tingle. Maybe his room wasn’t the bastion of safety he thought it might be.

His bass, the only thing he bothered to keep clean, was sitting in its stand, shining as brightly as the day he got it. Deciding that his room held too much temptation, Murdoc grabbed the instrument and turned back around. Where could he go to relax where he wouldn’t be surrounded by temptation? 2D’s room was out of the question; it was arguably full of more drugs than his own, and he didn’t feel comfortable invading Russel’s space like that. That left the living room or Noodle’s room... and he really didn’t want to drag an amp down all those stairs.

With hesitant steps, Murdoc found himself in front of his guitarist's door. It’s just a room, he told himself, there’s no reason to get worked up over it. As he was psyching himself up, Katsu walked up behind him, sauntering through the doorway without a care in the world. Murdoc watched blankly, before huffing out a quiet laugh.

“Bloody cat,” he mumbled, following it into the room. No one had been in there for long since the night Murdoc overdosed, and the room was just as Noodle had left it. Unfortunately, Noodle had taken after Murdoc and 2D when it came to cleaning, though she did at least, throw out her garbage. But Murdoc tried not to think about that; he was determined that today would be fine. So he placed his beer on the bed and dragged an amp close enough to plug his bass in, beginning with a warm-up. Katsu curled up beside him, more than used to the thumping bass lines filling the house.

He played through all their hits as a warmup, the deep bass tones resonating through his entire being. The vibrations calmed him more than the beer did, and he soon found himself noodling around with random notes, looking for bass lines that would work on their new album. He thought about the song 2D had been working on and tried to find something to match. It was pointless though without the singer around to let him know if he was on the right track or not. Eventually, he got bored of playing and tossed El Diablo to the side, flopping down on his back on Noodle’s bed.

Satan, what did people do with all their free time? Checking his phone he saw only two hours had passed, and that 2D had sent him a couple texts. They were mostly harmless, the younger wanted to know what he was up to, and one was a picture of Stu in an elevator, giving a peace sign. Murdoc saved the picture to his phone and sent a selfie in response. The entire exchange felt incredibly, wonderfully domestic.

Noodle’s bed was warm, soft, and clean. Murdoc fumbled around in the sheets for his beer and he cracked the last one open, paying special care not to spill any. He had a light buzz going and felt surprisingly calm surrounded by his youngest bandmates possessions. Noodle had a good eye for decorating, and the bassist had always been a little jealous of how amazing her room looked. He wondered if she’d be upset if she knew he was hanging out in here and drinking without her, but decided it didn’t really matter. It would be just one of many things he had to apologize for when he saw her again.

That was a big reason why he didn’t want to go with the others today. Murdoc knew that he’d fucked up, even if everyone forgave him. It was because of his temper this entire thing had happened. He wanted to be better, but he didn’t know how. The fear that if he went to go see Noodle again so soon he’d freeze up was so strong that even safe at home it made his stomach clench.

Katsu interrupted his growing anxiety attack by butting her head against Murdoc’s hand. The bassist gave her a few scratches, listening to her purr. He understood why Noodle liked sleeping with the cat now, it’s presence was comforting.

“Where should I even start?” he asked. The cat meowed and lay back down. He’d promised to go see a psychiatrist with 2D, but how did he find one? Would they put him on medication? Murdoc shuddered at the memory of prison in Mexico, where he’d been held in the psych ward for weeks and drugged out of his noggin. And not in the good way. Did he need to be medicated? What if they saw a doctor and they told him there was nothing they could do for him. What if--

Suddenly, Murdoc’s phone chimed, alerting him to a new text. He grabbed the phone, fumbling through the pattern lock. When had his hands gotten so shaky, and his vision so blurry? The message was from 2D, commenting on the photo Murdoc had sent.

“R u in Noodle’s rm?”

“Needed an amp” he replied. Should he tell 2D what he was feeling? That’d only make him rush back, and Murdoc really didn’t want to ruin another one of his trips to see Noodle.

“O, did u find 1?”

“Yeah. Played a bit but it’s not the same without you here”

“Ill b home soon M”

“I know D, take your time”

It was fine, he didn’t need to tell the singer every time he got a little worked up. Murdoc was a grown man for Satan’s sake, he could handle a little bit of anxiety. His phone pinged again

“Do u want 2 c a pic of Noods?”

Murdoc typed, then retyped his message no less than three times. He settled on “OK.”

The picture was grainy and a little blurry. 2D had an older model phone he refused to give up and it really showed. In the picture the singer was in front of the camera, leaning down to Noodle’s bedside. She was smiling, a little lopsided, but it was still her stunning smile. Murdoc could remember seeing that smile for the first time after she’d finished that wicked solo on top of her FedEx box. Her bruising had faded significantly, though she still looked pale and weak. If he squinted, Murdoc could kid himself into thinking they weren't in a hospital at all.

“She looks better”

“She says hi.”

“Tell her I say hi back”

Was he supposed to feel happy, or sad? Murdoc wished he could be happy that Noodle was getting better, but all he felt was sadness and guilt. She was so sick, and would be for a long time. He knew what happened with Stu was a fluke, most people with traumatic brain injuries had lifelong disabilities. She might never walk or talk again. She might not have the dexterity left in her fingers to play guitar anymore. He couldn’t live with himself if he’d been the cause of that.

“OK, that’s enough,” he grumbled, nudging Katsu aside and getting to his feet. It only took a few minutes to clean up his cans and gather his bass. Staying in there had been nice at first, but the fragile courage he’d had was wearing thin and the coward below was shining through. He couldn’t stay here, surrounded by her for a second longer. When he closed the door--just as Katsu trotted out behind him--he sighed with relief.

Murdoc knew he needed more alcohol if he was going to have to deal with feeling like this. 2D would understand, he hadn’t promised to stay sober, after all. That didn’t sound quite right, but his need for some sort of release from the pounding in his chest was stronger than logic. Dropping the bass off in his room, he made a beeline for the kitchen.

Saddled with a bottle of something stronger than beer, he idled in the hall back to the stairs. He’d only wasted 4 hours. He should have asked 2D when he and Russel were coming back and it’d been too much of a hassle to text the younger now. If he did it’d only worry Stu, not to mention it’d sound like he was being clingy. Oh well, he was sure he could find something to occupy himself with for a few more hours.

Russel made sure that after their visit with Noodle they went to the grocery store. According to him, they couldn’t keep ordering takeout every day and the spaghetti had used up the last of the food in the fridge. 2D never saw the harm in ordering takeout, but Russel insisted. He still felt a little guilty about keeping the drummer up at night, so Stu had relented.

By the time they were finished it was late afternoon, way past when he thought they’d be home. The singer hadn’t heard from Murdoc in a while, but he was trying to keep calm. He’d talked to him just a couple of hours ago, had even seen a picture of him. 2D had to learn to trust the bassist if their… relationship was going to work.

He stayed quiet the whole ride, gripping his phone and tapping along nervously to the music. Russel didn’t complain, he always seemed to have a sixth sense about when someone needed some space. Not for the first time, 2D realized that without Russel they’d be a lot worse off.

“If you take the bags in the front,” Russel said, startling the other out of his thoughts, “then I can manage the ones in the back.”

“O-oh, yeah sure Russ,” 2D stuttered. He quickly grabbed the bags, too quickly, spilling some of their contents onto the floor. As fast as he could he packed everything back up and hauled them into the house. It was a bit of a struggle to get the front door open ut he managed, toeing his shoes off before shuffling into the kitchen.

“Murdoc! We’re back!” he called. Distantly he could hear thumping and rattling coming from the second floor. Within seconds he heard the sound of heavy steps down the stairs and felt himself begin to smile. Leaving the groceries for a moment, the singer turned around to greet Murdoc.

“Ello luv,” he teased, not even trying to hide his happiness at seeing the bassist again. He really was acting like a love-sick teenager.

“Alright Stu?” Murdoc asked, sauntering in with a bit more swagger than usual. 2D’s smile fell slightly as he caught a whiff of alcohol off the other. But he didn’t want to upset Murdoc; there was probably a reason he felt the need to get drunk. Still, he couldn’t help feeling a bit disappointed.

“I will be, in a minute,” he joked back, gathering the smaller up in his arms for a hug. Murdoc went willingly. “Ah that’s much better.”

“Mmh, don’t tell me you missed me after such a short time,” Murdoc laughed, wrapping his own arms around the singer. 2D could tell the bassist had missed him just as much as he had. Letting himself forget that Murdoc was drunk for just a moment, the singer leaned in for a kiss, humming happily as Murdoc kissed back.

Their little bubble was popped by the front door opening again; 2D had forgotten about Russel. With a sigh he let Murdoc go, turning back to the groceries and beginning to unbag them. Murdoc was already rifling through the fridge, probably looking for beer when Russel came in with the rest of the bags.

“Hey Muds,” he greeted. Murdoc grunted a hello and took a seat at the table, beer in hand.

“H-hey Russ, I can put the groceries away, if you want,” the singer offered. Really, he just wanted more time to talk to Murdoc alone.

“Well, I’m not gonna argue with that. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” 2D waved as the drummer left, while Murdoc gave a lazy nod. It didn’t take too long for him to get everything put away in it’s proper place, or at least close to it. He really couldn’t remember exactly where they usually kept the cans of soup, so he stacked them up beside the bowls. It was close enough.

“So what did you do while we were gone, Muds?” the singer asked in his most casual voice. Murdoc was drunk enough not to notice anything suspicious.

“Not much. Played bass, sat around, summoned a few demons, the usual.”

2D hoped he was joking about the last part. “And uh, had a couple drinks?”

Murdoc’s eyes flashed dangerously, though he quickly looked away. “Yes, I did. That a problem?”

“N-no! I um, I just’ wanted to ask if there was somethin’ wrong.” 2D watched Murdoc study the table with interest.

“No, nothin’s the matter. Can’t a man enjoy a drink?” The singer was getting a little impatient. Why wouldn’t Murdoc just tell him what the problem was already?

“Just a drink?” he asked, his voice clipped. Murdoc’s head snapped up with a  scowl.

“Yes, Stuart. A drink,” the bassist answered angrily.

“Why?”

Murdoc laughed darkly. “Since when do I need a reason to drink, D?”

2D sighed and sat next to him. “Murdoc…”

“Stop babying me!” Murdoc snarled suddenly, standing up fast enough to knock the chair back. “Satan’s sake 2D!”

“Don’t shout at me!” Stu yelled, getting up as well. Both men had their fists clenched at their sides and frowns on their faces. For a brief moment, a memory flashed in front of the singer's vision. The sound of a chair hitting the ground.  Murdoc, standing over him with an open palm, his own cheek stinging. Murdoc, stumbling out of the room as 2D scrabbled to his feet, a dull throbbing in his face and side. Pink, so much pink. Unconsciously he took a step back, raising his hands to his face in a flinch. The Satanist was frozen, his fists still clenched but the anger slowly draining from his face.

“2D what--” Murdoc took a few steps forward and immediately the singer’s mind told him to run run get away!

“No!” he cried, pressing further back into the wall. This was just like back on Plastic Beach, it was happening again, he couldn’t handle it again--

“U-uh, shit!” Murdoc cursed, backing up. Stuart kept an eye on the other’s hands the entire time they raised up placatingly. “2D it’s ok!”

Neither man moved for a good two minutes before 2D collapsed against the wall, tearing streaming down his cheeks. Big, ugly sobs tore their way out of the singer's small frame. Through blurry eyes he watched Murdoc kneel down a few feet in front of him warily.

“Oh God D,” Murdoc whispered, so distraught that he momentarily forgot his own religion. “I’m so sorry.”

For once, the singer put his own feelings first and didn’t rush to comfort Murdoc. He couldn’t, he was frozen in his defensive curl. Even as his breathing evened out, and his sobs turned to silent crying he still couldn’t get up and go to the other man. He wasn’t even sure if he even wanted to. He’d never had a reaction like that around the bassist, and he'd never had a flashback like that either. So why was it happening now that they were finally getting somewhere with each other?

“D-d’you want me to go?” Murdoc asked quietly. He shook his head no, because he wasn’t sure. So they stayed frozen in their spots. It was a wonder Russel didn’t come downstairs to investigate the silence. Eventually, 2D gathered enough strength to lower his hands, wrapping them around his knees instead.

“I-I jus’ w-wanted t-t-t’know why you w-were drinkin,” he said, quiet as a whisper. Murdoc held his head in his hands, shaking.

“I was thinkin’ a little--a little too much and I n-needed  t’relax. I s-swear Stu, that’s all,” he answered. He looked and sounded like he was telling the truth, but still, the singer didn’t feel like he could calm down fully.

“Oh,” Stu said. “M’sorry for makin’ a b-big fuss--”

“No! Uh, no, I shoulda told you t-the truth when you asked,” Murdoc interrupted. “I’m sorry for scarin’ you.”

Stu shrugged. “It was the chair fallin’... I think.”

“Still my fault,” Murdoc said. “If I hadn’t done all that stuff on Plastic--”

2D interrupted with a panicked sound in the back of his throat. “I-I don’t wanna think about that righ’ now.” He watched Murdoc weigh his options before deflating even more.

“OK, whatever you want D. I’m, uh, sorry, though. Maybe I should go?”

The older man got to his feet. 2D could still feel the edges of panic in his mind, raw and stinging. But he could also see that Murdoc was really, truly sorry. With a shaky voice, he spoke up.

“Don’t leave.” The singer got to his feet as well, still keeping a safe distance from the other. “I don’t want us to fight.”

“Me either Stu,” Murdoc agreed. They stared awkwardly at each other for a while, unsure of what to do. Eventually, Murdoc picked up the chair he’d toppled and sat down. It was almost like that last fifteen minutes hadn’t happened. Slowly, 2D sat down as well, inching his chair within arms reach of Murdoc.

“We’ll work on it, yeah?” he asked placing a hand on Murdoc’s knee. Murdoc was back to studying the table, but he covered the larger hand with his and squeezed. They weren’t quite there yet, but they were getting close. And Stu was willing to try.

[cecke8]

Your Ginger Housemate - Part 13

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So I’ve been trying to create more of an idea of what I’m visualising through the pictures I’m adding. If you refer to Part 12, the picture of the alley is what I visualise behind the apartments. So that’s just something to link and think about. 

How could I do something like that? I almost lost control after all this time making sure all I would “behave myself”. Make sure I’m always in a good mood. Make sure I always rein in my anger. Make sure I don’t scare her anymore! That was the deal I made myself when I started living there.

Okay sure, I frighten her sometimes - like when I’m standing in the doorway for a while, but I’ve always scared people from time to time. I guess it’s because, ever since I was really young, I developed the habit of walking really softly. 

No one would hear me enter rooms, so they’d turn around and I’d just kinda’ be there. Funny though. Their fear fueled me. Still does, so I just let the habit become an advanced skill of mine. But that fear is reasonable. The fear I must have just given y/n was worse. A lot worse. 

How could I do something like that? Ugh! 

I kick a trashcan and it goes clattering down the alley for a good five, seven meters? I couldn’t care. The heavy throb in my toes signifies that I belted that thing pretty hard. I’m not gonna lie, it felt good. I feel so wound up, but why... Y/n’s parents! No wonder I wound up. 

Behaving “normally” is exhausting me mentally and physically. I have to be so careful all the time. I probably shoulda’ started with a more... cocky persona? That’s how she would define it anyway. Maybe Tyrone shoulda’ been a little less reserved? But then her parents wouldn’t adore me as much as they do. Well, her mom anyhow, her dad is a little trickier. 

That’s why I pestered y/n for as much information about her parents as I could get. I wanted to know what they were like so I could figure out the best persona to take on. Patricia, I figured - and figured correctly - would be the most susceptible to charm and modesty. Brandon seemed to be a typical dad. He likes a guy who is dedicated to his aspirations, career and is polite to the women in his life. Simple enough. Seeing and listening to them interact with y/n really set it in stone and told me exactly what to do. Unfortunately, it’s the most restricted I’ve ever been. Even at the circus, I wasn’t as reserved. Jeez, I woulda’ snapped years ago!

I’m striding down the alley, so deep in thought, I’ve just realised it’s drizzling. My hair feels dishevelled and strands keep getting in my eyes. I wrench the grey hood over my head to stop water running down my back. At least only the hood and end of the sleeves are cotton on this thing. The rest is leather. It’ll stand the rain for a while longer yet.

Jeez. What is wrong with me. It’s broad daylight... well it’s raining, but all the same. 

This alleyway is particularly unique because it’s like a separate, hidden street. Almost every apartment block connects to it through the fire escape. Y/n’s is special because her apartment has the lowest ladder. Few rungs up and I’m good. Easy to escape undetected, if dark enough. It usually is. That’s why I chose her apartment. It was a good choice apparently. I haven’t felt at ease like this since before... before he left. 

Bad thought. Shut up!

I’ve almost gotten to the end of the street-like alley and am becoming more aware of the piercing throb in a couple of my toes. I know it’s painful, it’d almost a searing pain if I wasn’t so ignorant towards the feeling. Over time, that sorta stuff had really just been covered in a layer of numbness. It’s as if my pain receptors have been covered with a heavy layer of fabric. Like a tarp. I know the pains there, it just isn’t a direct problem for me anymore. Some would call it a high pain threshold - and sure, that’s part of it - but it also comes from years of experience.

Just before I get to a legitimate street, I turn left into another small alleyway. Every time I enter this one, my breathing becomes heavy and it feels like all my muscles have tightened. I don’t know why, but I hate it in here.  It could be claustrophobia, but I refuse to admit I have such a feeble fear. 

It’s a darker ally, sheltered from the rain so you’d think it's dry. It’s not. There are numerous vents and drains that lead back here resulting in constant clouds of steam, mist and drips of water. This alley could only fit one person, there’s barely a gap between my shoulders and the wall. 

After manoeuvring under pipes, between vents and over grates, I arrive at my destination. The only abandoned apartment block in the neighbourhood. 

It’s a rundown piece of shit that can barely keep out a draft. However, it’s pretty handy when wanting constant entry whether this is scaling the broken fire escape, easing through a smashed window or picking the lock to the door. 

Yeah, I’m pretty equipped. This jacket has a fair few inside pockets. Perfect for a small collection of pocket knives, a standard revolver and a small lock kit. 

“C’mon now, daddy needs to get dry,” I whisper as crouch down next to the door. I prepare the two small instruments for the lock and get to work. There’s no need. The door creaked open. I roll my eyes. 

Terrific. Someone else is here. 

As I sneak through, I hear voices arguing. 

“Marty, shut up will ya? There was no noise.”

“Terrance, honey, it might be a good idea if he goes and checks hmm? Just in case.” 

Great, three people. And one with keen ears apparently. 

“Yeah. That’s right. Just in case. She’s right.” The guy who I’m guessing is Marty retorts. 

I dunno how I’m gonna deal with the trespassing trio. Maybe when the Marty guy comes round, I’ll kill him. Not with my gun, it’ll be too loud. Ugh, but a knife is too messy - even if it is an enjoyable mess, it’s not something I want to deal with yet. Maybe I’ll knock him out and tie him up. Same with the others? Might work.

“Deedee love,” - seriously? Deedee? - “we can’t keep being so paranoid. No one's there.” 

Time to make an entrance. 

I sneak around the corner, hoodie down and just to be theatric lean against the wall while a twirl a knife around my fingers. 

Yep, there’s three of them. The blond chick Deedee, and the two males. Dunno which is which, but they look pretty similar. Might be brothers.

It takes a while for anyone to notice me. They’re all too entranced by the fire they got going on. Great. Thanks for stinking up the place guys. At least put it near a vent. Sheesh.

Finally, the guy facing me looks up and goes stiff. His mouth opens to yell but I put a finger to my lips. Tellig him to keep quiet. But the other guy has seen gaper and whips around. 

“What the fu-”

“Uh-uh. Don’t swear. Not in front of the lady,” I grin as she too whips around. With bulging eyes, the trio watches me walk over and stop next to them. I swing back on my heels, hands behind my back just to mess with them. 

“You know, you're stinking out my crib. At least put the fire near a vent. Idiots.” I shake my head. They just stare. The dude with blondie starts to stutter.

“Well spit it out,” I mock.

“W-w-we don’t want no trouble man. We’ll leave. We didn’t know anyone else was using this place.”

“Oh really? So you didn’t go upstairs?” They all sake there heads. The girl is clinging on to guy number one for dear life. 

“Oh, goodie,” I say in a sing-song voice, and then drop my smile, “then leave.” I glare at him. He seems to wanna argue, but I start throwing my knife up and down. He gets the point. Hmm... can’t have them blabbering my whereabouts. They seem like the sort to shut up if I threaten ‘em enough.

Before they can react, I lunge at the dude who must be Marty, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and pressing my knife against his neck.  Not enough to kill him, but enough to pierce the skin. I feel the small drops of blood trickle past my fingers.  A little more pressure wouldn’t hurt... 

Restraint Jerome. Restraint.

“Now you two better not leave just yet. I need to talk with, Marty was it?” I ask in his ear and wait for him to nod, I nod also, “Mhm. Because if two leave, then I kill this one and come after you. Got it?” They nod vigorously. I lean in and start whispering into his ear. Occasionally looking at the others with a grin.

“Now, I’m guessing you know who I am. And you know that I’m on a lay-low at the moment. And quite frankly, it’s nice. So I’m gonna’ let you leave. But you’re not going to tell anyone I. Because trust me, I know how to find people, and I will find all of you. But if you leave, don’t come back, and don’t squeak, you live. Yeah?”

He nods. Shaking violently, he tells the others that they’re gonna leave. I let him go, but not before cutting him a little more.  

So much for restraint.

**Later**

It’s been a couple of hours and no one has come to investigate. So maybe they did keep their word. I’m a little pleased, but some action would have been fun. I shoulda’ done more to scare ‘em. 

Turns out I dislocated three of my toes. I’ve had it happen before, so I knew how to fix ‘em. Hurt like hell, but nothing I couldn’t laugh off. They’re a deep purple, and too tender to put my shoe on comfortably. So I’ve just pressed them against the cold concrete and laid back. It makes me giggle. Gotham has such a gift for turning things into an ice pack.

 Laying down like this is really making me how boring my life has become. I’ve been cooped up too long. But any funny business now would give Y/n too much trouble with her parents.

I hope she deals with them properly. At least lies convincingly. I can’t help but sigh. It’s strange, but I think I’m feeling... remorse. Ha, yeah. remorse for scaring her. I can’t deny it. She’s driving me crazy! 

She seems so insecure when she talks about herself, but there’s a confidence in her eyes that she doesn’t let escape. Even though emotionally, she’s an open book, I barely know anything about her. We barely know anything about each other. But her smile and her laugh are intoxicating. 

Oh, her laugh. It’s so free and contagious. It’s so hard not to laugh with her when I’m trying to string her on. She makes no sense and yet it’s like I’ve known her forever. Not seeing her for days is gonna be hard, but it will be necessary. 

I hope she doesn’t stay too upset. I wanna be the one to make her laugh strangely enough. I’m gonna have to give her a good sorry present, and I think I know the perfect thing.

Taglist: @sp00der-m00n @unicornwitch870 @skellingtonarmy @rockyrocket15 @thegirlofwolvesandfangs @hahaha-141 @purexuncreative @aqswdefrgthzjukilop

[omfgthelife]

Track: Ellie Goulding ✕ Bon Iver - Lights ✕ Calgary

Video Samples Source: Chaalbaaz - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil

TL;DR version: I'm pretending to make music. Somewhere in 2007-08, I got introduced to the idea of "internet mash-up artist" when a friend living in the US sent me a link to one of the first mash-up artists to go viral on the Internet, DJ ToToM. He mixed everything we were listening to then. It was fascinating to listen to something like Bob Dylan through the gaze of The Pixies. It's a different song, it's the same two songs but now it's different. It means something else now. Yeah, you can still be attached to each of the two (or more) songs that make the mashup as well. But it's just that they were made for each other also.

Since then, mashups have become a part of my library. Every now and then, I go looking for some new mashup artist who is utterly mindblowing when it comes to their matchmaking abilities. Others just make remixes, where they take an electronic sample beat and then speed up/slow down two tracks to match beat with that sample beat and play them on top of it. Or my nemesis: Bands who play two covers clearled stitched together one after the other. Yes, I'm a mashup hipster. A mashup is all about sampling. If you're doing anything other than sampling then you're making music (it may even be amazing) but you're not making a mashup. A mashup is about an alternative reality's pop culture (as defined by all alternative reality references/imagined in popular culture).

2010 onwards, mashups became my way of celebrating New Year's Eve. Two of the biggest viral mashup hitmakers Dj Earworm and Daniel Kim would release their own year-end specials -- a mashup of the Billboard top 50 tracks of the ear -- titled United States of Pop and Pop Danthology. (In my head, it's like the mashup boxing match of the year. I'm sure neither of the two artists think that way.) Then I compare notes between the two mashups. Who made the smoothest, coolest mashup with songs put together in the least forced way possible. All of this is dependent on my own judgement of course, not some standardized guide or musical knowledge. Every year, I've spent a couple of days on Audacity trying to see if I can mash songs together before realising I know shit about creating music and giving up. (I actually know nothing, I love listening to music though.) I tried reading hack guides and watching terrible videos about how to extract vocals from a song. (Hey, it never works for anything but the song they're demonstrating in the video.)

Somewhere in 2011, I discovered Girl Talk. He has taken ‘mashup artist’ to a whole new level. His mashup albums are a like a reflection in the entire genre that would be made of mashups and samples. In his discography, you'll find everything from banging dance numbers to just good soulful listens to sometimes even an exploration in noise. I'm not sure I'll ever go that deep into the art/craft of mashups. You must listen to at least one full Girl Talk album to know what I'm talking about.

Recently, I started following oneboredjeu on twitter, who I consider perhaps one of the finest mashup artists that lives on the Internet. I walked into her YouTube channel for the Gambino and Gorillaz mashups and stayed for everything else. Among her recent uploads, her Sia-Lorde and SZA-Ariana Grande mashups are to die for. Through her, I found Raheem D. His Lil Kim-Ariana Grande mashup is da bomb. That was when I also discovered there was a mashup artist scene and their own space on social media. Reading them discuss mashups, hearing their uploads, I learnt two key things which I used when I restarted my attempts at mashing songs on Audacity:

1. It's best if songs are on the same key and close to each other in BPM (beats per minute) count. Because I know shit about making music, I couldn't guess what key any given song was, and I could never count beats already. 2. You can't just cut vocals out of a song like it works with image editing (which I had learnt already). Mashup artists source their stems (different tracks that make a song: vocals, strings, percussion, or the complete instrumental backing track) from all over the Internet.

Finally, we're at how did I end up here. A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with a friend from Chile. Our usual scene was sitting on his couch, and having a YouTube party where we'd keep showing each other videos or music. That day, the moment I entered his house, he jumped up.

"Duude! Do you remember the Asereje song?" He was doing the step. "The Tomatina girls or something?" "Yes, yes! That one." "We just called it the Ketchup song in India." "That's not the point. Somebody finally figured out what the gibberish part of the song was!" "There was a gibberish part?" "The lines that come after Asereje are all gibberish!" "They're not Spanish? They sound so much like Spanish!" "Yes, they do but they're Spanish gibberish. If you understood Spanish, you'd know." "So what's the meaning of Asereje?"

He then played a video from a Chilean news channel where they were reporting that a dude on Twitter had cracked the Asereje code. So in Spanish, the girls are singing the story of Diego. One night Diego is wrecked on alcohol and drugs and arrives at a club. The DJ starts playing a song, which happens to be Diego's favourite song. Y la baila (And he dances), y la goza (and he enjoys it) y la caaantaaa (and he siiings): Aserejé, ja deje tejebe tude jebere Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí So Diego's favourite song iiiiis: I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it out Bubba to the bang bang boogie, boobie to the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie the beat

Rapper's Delight! Yes, that blew my mind and I can no longer take The Ketchup Song lightly. I have regrets for taking it lightly when I was in college and the song was a sensation.

So at this end of this long detour in my mashup story: I got home that night and tweeted, asking the Internet for a mashup of The Ketchup Song and Rapper's Delight. Someone from my twitter social life was equally mindblown and asked for the same. Something hit me then and I made this just ffs. I'd successfully managed to get vocals only tracks of Rapper's Delight and The Ketchup Song, and an instrumental version of The Ketchup Song to put together that short clip -- in my head, it was more of a proof of concept that I can mashup AND that the guy from Chile was right, Asereje IS Rapper's Delight. Last Monday, I got bored one evening and also was itching to see if I could get even close to making a mashup. So as usual, my mashup attempt of 2017 was underway. I googled to see if somebody had compiled a song keys database and ta-da: I found Audio Keychain. While just clicking through their database to see if any song strikes me in particular that I wanted to try using in a mashup. I found Katy B's 5AM, which I really like. A reverse search told me that Blue Oyster Cult's hit The Reaper had the same key and almost the same BPM. There it was decided, for my first attempt, I was going to mash these two songs together. I found the Katy B stems on some filesharing platform after some searching. A decent instrumental (backing track) version of The Reaper on YouTube was found much easily and downloaded. I worked for a couple of hours and made an almost 2-minute draft. It was working but I hit a creative block there onwards. So I exported the 1:48 clip to mp3 from Audacity and sent it to the friend who first introduced me to ToToM and went to sleep.

The next day at office, I played the mashup over and over again to see if still made sense. I made a colleague listen to it because I was confident that I had no distance and it would sound amazing to me. He said, "I haven't heard either of these songs but I like this song I'm hearing." That was hella encouraging. Although, I was sure that it was a fluke that I managed to make that one. If I try once again, I'll fail miserably. On Wednesday, I opened Audio Keychain and decided to try again. After some hits and misses, I finally ended up with Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself (backing track) and David Guetta/Nicki Minaj/Bebe Rexha's Hey Mama (vocal track). After the first draft, there were lots of empty spaces for which I didn't find any vocals that fit. So I added the chorus from Charli XCX's Boom Clap, which doesn't really fit as well as the first two songs with each other. But it was all sounding pleasant and I hadn't fucked up as miserably as the last seven years.

Thursday evening, I didn't even think twice. I got home, logged onto Audio Keychain and started looking for tracks to mashup. A lot of random and terrible experiments later, Ellie Goulding's Lights and Bon Iver's Calgary seemed like they had promise together. Unfortunately, just like the bad Charli XCX stem from the previous mashup, I found a below-par vocals only track for Lights. I didn't actually care because all I wanted to see was if I could make a decent mashup again. I really, really liked how the two tracks came together. Hence, this decision of publishing the mashup. I would've published on Thursday night itself but I think I was too happy about how these two tracks worked together. I felt this track needed a video. And in a vision due to a fuckton of sleeplessness, Sridevi and my favourite song from Chaalbaaz came to mind - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil. So then I downloaded the best available YouTube video for that song and started to work on it. After quite a few drafts, a low-end machine, where every render takes 2 hours and the only way to see the video is to render it because otherwise everything starts malfunctioning due to the load, here's the final mashup video for a mashup track.

[reactingwithexo]

Personality Analysis : Park Chanyeol (EXO)

A/N: I wanted to do something like this for a long time now, I’ve searched it and I couldn’t find a lot of in depth analysis of the members’ and well, I’ve been an EXO-L for a few years now so I feel confident enough to write some of my pov about the members individually. And these type of stuff helps a lot of new fans to understand them more and maybe change some opinions about some members.I’ll be writting indivudual profiles for all the original members.

Disclaimer: I am not a psychologist of any sorts and I have absolute no personal connection with the EXO members, so all displayed here it’s just a result of my observation and opinion. Long post ahead.

This will be divided in topics so it can be less messy.

First Impressions

In depth impressions

Development

Final thoughts        

 1. First Impressions : 

   I’ve noticed watching several reactions, that when people watch EXO mvs for the first time, they’ll think that Chanyeol is the ‘bad boy’ of the group, the one that must get in trouble all the time, and well, we know that’s not true , when I first met EXO, I was impressed by Chanyeol’s rap but I only really noticed him when I watched the 2013 Happy Camp episode , maybe it was the ears but I remember thinking ‘what a nice and funny guy’, at the time he was known as the ‘reaction king’ in EXO and he really lived up to his nickname, it was almost as a reflex (and he still does this in interviews, even if it’s in a minor scale) , he always nods or hums, just does anything to ‘react’ to what the other person is saying, I think this is partially due to how active he wants to look on camera and partially due to his own need of showing that he is indeed paying attention to the other party. Besides that, other aspects of his personality started to show, even if subtly, like his tendency of wanting to be one of the main features and the obvious playfulness. His basic public image is being one of the members that lift up the others’ moods and a jokester in general, the one who always has energy and a smile on his face.

 2. In depth impressions :

       There’s much more to talk about it on this topic, I actually only ‘figured out’ Chanyeol not so long ago, you can be easily fooled by the sunshine/happy virus image that he works so hard to show us all the time but there’s actually (and this is something I’ll probably talk about in every EXO member analysis) , there’s so much more behind it , one of the main points that really changed my view on him is the fact that he is actually very ‘moody’, the other members and himself have acknowledged this , that could possibly make him a more difficult person to live with on a daily basis so the secret is to have patience with him, since he’s very sensitive to criticism and you can see that he really values the public’s opinion AND the people’s around him opinions about him and his work in general, even if he gets shy about it, he generally shows that he is really proud of his own work and effort, a good example of this is when he was asked on a showcase about being the lead actor on ‘EXO next door’ (here: about minute 20:50).

I think that need for approval shows the most on him out of all the EXO members and honestly, a lot of people say he is a ‘show-off’ but that’s not the case, he has said on several occasions that he likes watching himself on screen and stuff like that (like here) , but generally he is just giving himself confidence so he can play his part more easily.

It is known that Chanyeol is a multitalented guy, he is safe to say the member that most produces (and writes) his own stuff along with Lay, and he is always seen with his equipment and posting stuff that he is working on, that said, I can 100% say that he loves what he does, he loves performing, either rapping, singing, acting, playing instruments or writing songs and it is where his heart mostly is, I’m aware that he listens to a wide variety of musical genres and he picks up on melodies really quick when it comes to playing a song. 

This is related to how much of a hardworker this guy is, I still remember watching the behind the scenes to the growl MV ( I couldn’t find the link, sorry), where he was being told that his dancing wasn’t good enough so he tried his 110% for the following shooting day and got praised, he later on said he was worried that his dancing would look really bad on screen, another example are two of the MAMA performances, the 2014 and the 2015 one , on the 2014 one, you can clearly see here that he was almost fainting and vomiting but he kept going for the sake of the performance, specially since 2014 was a year that held a lot of pressure against EXO in general so they all had this will to prove themselves as a group, now in 2015, after they performed ‘drop that’ and Chanyeol was jumping like crazy in a big ass coat , you can see here that he was completely exhausted after the performance, that only shows his perseverance once again and that’s a factor about him that everyone should respect.

A really important Chanyeol trait too is the way he handles himself around fans and around the other members, it is safe to say that all EXO members have grown closer over the years and they have said that in the begining they used to argue quite a lot but nowadays they just know each other’s limits , I think Chanyeol always showed a close relationship with most members, from Kris till Kai, I guess he always thought about them as friends and not just work buddies, there have been several occasions where he helps the other members to answer awkward questions or change the mood of the interview, diverting the focus to him when another member is going through a hard time, besides, he’s always showing support to other members’ projects, he has posted photos congratulating them on the release of their music , has supported their movies and etc. He is also the member who ALWAYS posts photos on the other members’ birthday, either being screenshots of him trying to be the first to wish them a happy birthday, or just photos with said birthday member with a cute caption.

As for his relationship with fans, Chanyeol stans are really lucky , this boy is always wanting to do broadcasts for the fans, even if he’s not doing anything special on them and he even has his own yt channel now (he only uploaded one video but anyways hah), he shared his soundcloud account , where he posts covers and stuff he is working on + being active on IG, this only shows that he is willing to reach to fans , and in person he is almost always interacting with fans, if you observe him during concerts, he looks extremely grateful, during songs and ments, I honestly never saw a concert where it looked like he wasn’t having it or something, also let’s not forget he wrote his rap part on promise, a song written for fans by EXO (you can check the lyrics here) , he asks for the fans’ forgiveness and asks if he can spend forever with us.

      3. Development :

  As all the other members, we can see Chanyeol developing throughout the years and opening himself more for the public eye, getting out of that basic image we get on the first impression, there are a few  things I wanna highlight on this section of my analysis.

 Let’s start with something he explained on the star show 360 episode with EXO, that it is that he is actually very ‘vulnerable’ to mood change, so he can easily adapt his behavior and actions in different enviroments to match other people, that to me shows again how he is a very social person who’s in need of company and reassurement , I’m relating this to how sweet he seems to be, putting your own emotions in display like that is not an easy task, he is willing to change in a matter of seconds so he can fit along other people, people who say he is selfish aren’t aware that even when he is having his bad days, he prefers not to tell other people so he won’t spoil the mood for them , as said here (starts minute 0:05), so basically he piles up his bad emotions to himself and keeps all the stress to himself, which could result on his mood changes that I’ve talked about on item 2.

Now I’ll adress a controversy, till this day people have been hating on Chanyeol because he is one of the members who most make jokes about Kai’s skin tone and stuff, I don’t have a lot to say about that other than the fact that I personally think him (or any other EXO member who jokes about it) don’t make these jokes to purposely hurt Kai’s feelings or anything of this sort,it is unfortunately a cultural thing in South Korea.

Chanyeol debuted in EXO when he was 20, now he is 24, so it is natural you can see him being more mature now but still keeping his personality essence within.

     4. Final Thoughts:

  Now for my final considerations, Park Chanyeol is throughtout an amazing guy. this man does anything for his group and for the fans, even when he is broken , he’ll still give his everything and hide all of his bad sides, whenever he makes the slightist mistake, he keeps going on and on about it because he can’t bare the possibility of screwing up , and no, he is not an attention seeker, he is just naturally bright, he is actually a very serious guy and people should respect him as such, he wants to develop professionally in all fields and always continue to make his own music and getting better at what he does, he is definetly someone who deserves all the fans he has and i’m proud of how we’ve gotten to know him more often during the years and he has came out of the superficial shelf created during rookie days.

He deserves so much love, I hope y’all rethink if you have something against him, honestly.

A/N: I’m sorry if this sucks, don’t come after me please, I plan on doing this for the other members, but if you guys hate it, please tell me, I can’t help it but think I left some stuff out but still.... who is your choice for next one? If you wnat me to continue , of course, thanks if you’ve read till here <3 I also apologize for grammar errors

[kpoprambles00-blog]

(G)I-DLE ((여자)아이들) - I made (2nd Mini Album) [COMEBACK REVIEW]

Rookie debuts are always an interesting thing to keep an eye on. But what's even more interesting is seeing how a group follows up on their debut - do they keep a steady sense of momentum? Or do they leave listeners disappointed? I'm sure a lot of people can agree that one group who've absolutely kept their momentum is (G)I-DLE - following up "Latata" with "Hann" is still one of my favourite decisions a rookie group has made. I love "Hann" to death. I can't even tell you how long I had it on repeat for.

But now, the girls have made another comeback, and this time we got a full-fledged mini album and not just a single. So I was interested to see if it was in any way similar to "I am" (what with its similar name and VERY similar album art), or if the girls had evolved and started to find their own style. Let's have a look at the album as a whole and see if I think that's the case!

1. SEÑORITA [TITLE]

To start off the album, we have the title track, "Señorita". And hoo boi, this is a big diversion from what we've seen from (G)I-DLE in the past -  and from what I've seen, this song is fairly divisive. Some think it's just the right mix of sassiness and charm, others think the song is both too short and repetitive.

But if you're asking me, it's... pretty fucking great, honestly!

It's catchy, sticks in your head almost instantly, and has this amazing salsa/rumba vibe with the trumpets, stilted piano line and castanet touches. It reminded me an awful lot of Soyu's amazing "All Night" from last year - but it's as if (G)I-DLE's producers took "All Night" and mixed with the charisma of "Latata" to give us "Señorita". So, basically, it sounds very nice in my earholes and I'm a huge fan of it.

"Señorita" has got this fantastic sultry vibe to it that the girls match excellently, since they sing in their lower range for the verses - every single member sounds phenomenal here, no joke! Soojin in particular is absolutely MURDERING it this era. Goddamn, who knew she could look and sound so good?! She's by far the star here, and her performance is the standout of the song for me. (As well as Yuqi. I didn't think I could love that girl any more, but oooooooooh man this comeback has proved me so wrong.) As well as all that, Soyeon's off-kilter rap is honestly a stroke of genius. It catches you so off-guard with the rhythm that it gets your attention pretty much instantly, which Soyeon pretty much does on her own with her charisma anyway. It's excellent.

That mysterious/slightly sexy vibes comes across SUPER well in the lyrics, too! The lyrics are honestly really damn interesting for what could've been a simple love song. They've got such a great sense of curiosity to them, but it's a very mature curiosity that honestly took me by surprise. Whatever sort of relationship that's going on here is progressing very quickly, and yet the girls are willing to dive in head-first. And hey, who knew they could pull it off so well! The sultry vibe really suits them.

My dear, why are you coming so close? There's still so much we don't know What should I call you?

And yet, after all that, we still have the choreography to look at! (Yeah, I know I have a lot of opinions on this song. Bear with me.)

[Unfortunately I can’t include the choreography video here because of the video limit! Here’s the link though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhBa2_-qw00]

To be honest, while the dance isn't going to blow any minds, it's an example of what I'd consider a very well put-together routine. I don't think there could be a routine that fits Señorita any better than the one the girls are doing here. It matches the ebbing and flowing of the song's instrumental VERY well, with some really nice formation and position changes to keep you interested. There's also a slight change here from the choreography originally shown in the MV; in the second half of the chorus, the girls' arm positions now alternate between up and down instead of everyone's arms being up; there's also an extra move or two added in. That was a much needed and very well executed change, since it makes that entire section waaaaaaay more satisfying to look at. And hey, this choreo really picks up the pace in that final dance break, and I'm all for it! It's the cherry on top of a really nice routine.

(Also I've said it earlier and I'll say it again: SOOJIN. UGH. JUST YES. She embodies this fucking concept and I love it.)

All in all, this is a damn solid title track. It's got sass, charm and some really great details that just make it very high-quality. Considering I was so nervous to see how (G)I-DLE progressed, I couldn't be any happier with "Señorita" - I don't quite like it as much as "Hann", sure, but it's damn close! But hey, that's just the title track - we still have the rest of the album to get through...

2. WHAT'S YOUR NAME

Moving on to the side tracks, we start off with "What's Your Name". And considering I never got to listen to "I am" in its entirety, this is pretty new territory for me. I wasn't sure what to expect going into (G)I-DLE's side tracks - would they be experimental or more similar to their title tracks? Would they even be worth listening to? And after listening to "What's Your Name", I can say that they're certainly a little bit experimental, but definitely worth listening to!

Honestly "What's Your Name" reminds me a lot of "Latata" in terms of its style. There's a great buildup from the verses to the choruses here, with some futuristic synths serving as a base to the instrumental. The verses have a very grand atmosphere and vibe to them too; the pre-choruses in particular feel really anthemic. And that's particularly fitting for how explosive the choruses are - the synths from earlier are blown out and loud, but in a way that gets you energized, especially when you've got Soyeon's vocals layered on top. They're very addictive if you ask me, which is evidence of how much this song has actually grown on me! I was very unsure of it at first, but after repeated listens, it's certainly a good song in my eyes.

But y'know what I still don't like? Those trap breakdowns with Yuqi's vocals.

I know. NOT liking some of my bias' lines. Blasphemy. But let me explain.

With those breakdowns after each chorus, the great momentum and sense of explosivity I brought up earlier just... stops. It grinds to a halt in favour of an eight bar drop that's trying so damn hard to be edgy, sexy and memorable. It feels out of place from the beginning, and the song would've honestly been better off without it - hell, if they weren't there, this song would be title track worthy if you ask me! But they are there, and they end up leaving a really sour taste in my mouth - especially since it's how the song ends.

Lyrically though, this song is... weird? I went into this expecting it to be a party anthem about meeting someone new, but... no, this is a breakup song. A very different one, that's for sure. It's full of metaphors and flowery language in places that made it very hard to find a good translation, but once I did, it's... certainly interesting! They honestly subverted my expectations a lot, but I can't shake the feeling that they don't fit the tone the song is going for very well at all.

Set it down, forget about it, like a midnight dream "We" and "you", we're going to have to talk about all those beautiful words

In the end, I can't help but feel like "What's Your Name" has a little bit of lost potential. Yes, the song is certainly good, but both the unneeded trap breakdowns and the... slightly confusing lyrics hinder it a bit - which is a major shame. I do still like it, though, and I've found myself listening to it a lot more than I expected to!

But on the note of breakup songs... do you want to hear an absolutely heartfelt, amazing and beautiful one? WELL, SAY NO MORE CAUSE (G)I-DLE HAVE YA COVERED.

3. PUT IT STRAIGHT (싫다고 말해)

It takes a lot for a song to elicit an emotional reaction from me. Yes, songs can make me happy (very much so, my love of music is why I started this blog), but... an actual emotional response? Like goosebumps or tears? That's rare. But it's something I treasure when it does happen.

But oh my god. This song.

This fucking song.

I got chills. EVERYWHERE.

If y'all haven't been taking Jeon Soyeon seriously as a composer and lyricist, then you'd better fucking start paying attention, because she composed and wrote this almost entirely on her own. She only had help from one other person, and that was on the composition side of things. But... if this is the talent that she's got? Holy FUCK. Now I get the buzz. Now I see what people were saying about her - that she's the next big thing, that she's more than just an idol. And this song proves it. The hype is real, big time.

"Put It Straight" is... emotions. It's just emotions in musical form. To get all waxy and poetic myself for a minute, it's the feeling of a call with no response; the feeling of a tug of war you can't win; the feeling of tears forming but not quite being shed. It's gorgeous. It's seriously one of the most atmospheric ballads I've heard. I'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP AND THIS SHIT MADE ME FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN THROUGH A FULL-ON BREAKUP.

WHAT.

The stopping and starting of the instrumental in this song's verses is really ballsy, and ties right back into the metaphor of emotions I just talked about; you feel like you don't know what's going to happen. The song could explode with emotion and intensity, or it could just... fizzle out. And that'd be it. It's very touch-and-go in a way that's reminiscent of anxiety and uncertainty for me. (This is pretty clear in the transition from Miyeon's lines to Minnie's lines in the first verse - the song feels like it's building, and building, and building... and then it stops.) It's honestly fucking stunning. Combine that with the little added effects, like the echoing vocals or that faint sound of shattering glass during the second verse, and you have an example of how a minimal breakup ballad should be done, K-Pop or not.

That's just the song though - I haven't even BEGUN to talk about the lyrics. And yeah, they're just as much of a masterpiece as the song. They're insecure, they're fragile, and they're symbolic of a relationship on the verge of collapse. This song is honestly so well put together and the lyrics are just the final touch to make it perfect. They're drop-dead gorgeous, and so damn heartfelt to boot.

Just say yes - no, I mean, say that you're in love with me Just like the old times Now, can't you love me?

If you're asking me, I'd say this album is worth a listen for "Put It Straight" alone. It single-handedly makes this album worth your time. And from a musical standpoint, it's the best song on the album, hands-down. PLEASE let them have another song - god forbid a title track - like this in the future, because I'm on board from day one if it's as much of a masterpiece as this.

But... regardless of its immense quality, it's actually not my favourite song on the album. 😉

4. GIVE ME YOUR (주세요)

That would be this! Yes, I love "Put It Straight" a LOT, and it's the best song on the album, but "Give Me Your" is my favourite song. Let me explain why, though.

Heads up: this explanation is probably going to seem... very, very weird, and it's probably going to sound like the ramblings of a crazy person, but BEAR WITH ME, OKAY.

"Give Me Your" is a song that's almost reminiscent of something you'd hear in a coffee shop, in my eyes; it's something you could listen to whilst drinking tea, coffee, or some other fancy hot drink on a summer day. It's laid-back, chill and very relaxing to listen to, with its twinkly pianos and staccato rhythms. But... even with this image in my head, I found it hard to sum up this song's style in a way I was happy with. The coffee shop metaphor works, yeah, but it's still not perfect? I had a really hard time describing it.

And then, over the course of a few weekends, I sat down and played a video game. And that game summed up this song PERFECTLY.

LAYTON'S MYSTERY JOURNEY: KATRIELLE AND THE MILLIONAIRE'S CONSPIRACY.

...yeah, I know, my nerd is showing. BUT HANG ON, I'M GETTING TO THE POINT, I PROMISE.

Long story short, the Layton games are a childhood favourite of mine, but I had never got around to playing Lady Layton (which is what I call it, because good lord that title is WAY too long). But then I did. And OH MY GOD. If this game had a movie-style soundtrack with a bunch of different celebrities doing the songs, "Give Me Your" would be on it.

FUCK, IT'D BE THE LEAD SINGLE.

It's light, it's cheery, and yet it's spunky and tongue-in-cheek; it carries that feeling of an extra spring in your step when you're in a good mood. All of this matches Lady Layton (and specifically the main character Kat) perfectly. I couldn't get over how well it coalesced. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't help me enjoy the song more! I already loved it as it is - it was already my favourite song on the album - but this just made it better. Now, I highly HIGHLY doubt (G)I-DLE even know this game exists, but y'know what? Let me dream. Let me be my nerdy self. Okay? Okay.

This Lady Layton/coffee shop vibe carries into the lyrics as well, which are light-hearted, lovey-dovey and actually quite comical in places! They legitimately got a chuckle out of me, and they're so damn charming that I couldn't help but smile whilst reading them. They focus a lot on the singer's imperfections, and how they're amazed that their partner is interested in them - but they also touch on that relatable feeling of wanting to crawl into a hole and die when someone sees you looking like a mess. That shit's real.

A silly face with glasses, I can't believe I woke up from sleep [like this]

[...]

Alright, I think I'm going to go die now...

All in all, I love "Give Me Your" to bits. Light-hearted lyrics, a really nice instrumental and a theme that I admittedly adore - yeah, it's awesome. (G)I-DLE are two for two - first "Put It Straight", now this! What about the final track, though?

5. BLOW YOUR MIND

"Blow Your Mind" was a song I was admittedly interested in from the beginning, considering Minnie actually had a part to play in the songwriting/composition (as well as Soyeon, of course). Of course, I was also interested to see just how well it would hold up in comparison to the other tracks in this album. And after listening to it a lot, I can say it's a pretty alright song! I want to say it's great, but... it's got a major problem that bugs me, similar to "What's Your Name".

Let's focus on the positives first, though - this song has Soyeon's best rap on the album. It's fast, it's charismatic and it's another great rap from her. No surprises there. I also really liked the staccato pianos that are in the choruses, since they give the song a surprising amount of energy and vibrance. It's a very fun, bouncy rhythm for sure! I feel like all of the members have great parts here, actually; Minnie and Yuqi have that great lower-range introduction, Soyeon's got her rap, Soojin's sounds amazing in the chorus and final bridge, Miyeon's got her amazing adlib, and Shuhua has... well, Shuhua's being Shuhua and not getting a lot of lines. But once she's more comfortable with her Korean, that'll change! 😊 Regardless, everyone really does well here, and the abilities of each member are shown off really nicely.

But... like I said, I do have one big problem with this song - the "drop". Can we call it that? Is that the right term? I don't know if something that takes away so much momentum could be considered a drop. Whatever that vocal sample is, it sounds awful - it drives the momentum "Blow Your Mind" has going for it right off the nearest cliff. And that's a damn shame, especially after how good the choruses are! This song, similar to "What's Your Name", would've been title track potential if not for that one blunder... except with "What's Your Name", the trap drop is at least listenable. The drop in "Blow Your Mind" is not. It's grating, annoying and out of place, to say the least. It's very much like the seal that's pointed out in the music video, but... not in a good way. At all. It's annoying and I wish it wasn't there.

Lyrically, though, the song's nothing special. It's just one of those "I like you, you like me, let's hook up" sorta songs. Nothing too mind-blowing (heh) here. (It's amazing how all of the lyric videos I could find on YouTube were wrong, though... and I'm not talking about the English lyrics being wrong, I'm talking about the KOREAN lyrics being wrong. Which... is weird. Oh well.)

Don't wanna be unsteady, don't wanna be uncertain I just want to stay calm I'm like your painting

Also, I know there's a dance to this song - I'm not going to talk about it. The performance felt very rushed to me, and while I don't think it was as bad as a lot of people say it is, I feel like it would be unfair to review something that felt so thrown together. It's not a title track anyway, so it's not a big deal. It was nice to see it done live, though. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So yeah, this... wasn't the best. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed with it when the album ended. "Blow Your Mind" let me down a bit, admittedly, but the rest of the album certainly didn't! There are some absolute gems on "I made", and if I had to guess, I'd say you might see me talking about them again in the future - I wouldn't be surprised if they ended up on a year-end list or two. 😉

ALL THE CREDITS FOR THE ENGLISH LYRICS I USED IN THIS REVIEW: Señorita What's Your Name Put It Straight (싫다고 말해) Give Me Your (주세요) Blow Your Mind

COVER IMAGE CREDITS: Señorita MV screencaps by bbyhyuck on deviantArt

[swimmylionni]

Let me tell you about my favorite band, bloodthirsty butchers.

bloodthirsty butchers were a Japanese band active from 1988-2013. (Yes, it is stylized as “bloodthirsty butchers,” without caps. Don’t let Wikipedia lie to you, it’s written that way in all their music videos and almost all their album covers.) Most websites have trouble categorizing them, so they go with “punk” or “indie.” Indie doesn’t mean anything, of course. Early on they probably fit the Punk label pretty well, akin to a slightly heavier Blue Hearts. At their peak, they were more like a punk/neo-psych fusion band. Most of the songs were high-energy, fast-paced, with unmusical yelling vocals and awesome, unique, lengthy guitar solos. Hideshi Yokimura couldn’t sing, but his guitar playing was entertaining as hell. I won’t vouch for the skill involved--I don’t play guitar and can’t tell technical ability. But I can tell whether someone builds tension well, and as far as I’m concerned he was the best ever.

The best bloodthirsty butchers songs end with several minutes of guitar noodling, sometimes longer than the lyrical portion of the song. Y’know Sleater-Kinney’s Let’s Call It Love? Y’know how it’s their best song? bloodthirsty butchers were basically ~20 years of that.

Here’s a rough guide to bloodthirsty butchers. If we go chronologically we’ll start and end kinda weak, so let’s jump around and find ourselves in the middle. ‘Kay? And if you don’t care, there’ll be a nice tl;dr at the end you can look at.

Bloodthirsty Butchers [1990]

I’m Standing Nowhere [1993]

Lukewarm Wind [1994]

Their first albums were 2 cassettes released in 1988 and 1989. They are basically impossible to find, unless you want to shell out the $400 for the complete box set. I can’t comment on how they sound.

I can comment on the 3 albums released in the first half of the 90s. This is the period when the butchers were a kinda by-the-books Japanese punk band. The songs are mostly short, fairly catchy, very poorly produced, and loud. They’re all worth a listen, if you like that kind of music. (I do.) Of the 3, Lukewarm Wind is by far the best. The songs are ordered to make a more coherent sonic narrative. Occasionally it takes a break from LOUD FAST.

I don’t have a whole lot to say here. “ALLIGATOR” is a popular song but I’m not crazy about it. I’m more a fan of stuff like “Pressure,” which is a great way to end a record. If you like that song, look at Lukewarm Wind and work backwards from there.

No Album Mudai [2010]

Youth [2013]

Let’s jump way forward, to the end of the butchers. Yokimura, the band lead, died in 2013, so Youth is most likely their last album, unless for some reason they decide to plod on with a different lead or there’s enough new material already recorded to put out one more album.

These albums aren’t great! No Album Mudai has 2 songs worth listening to, at the very end. They are good to hear in order: Ocean, Curve. They work well together. Almost nothing else on this album works. It all sounds tired and by-the-books.

Youth is a bit better on average, but doesn’t have any songs as good as Ocean or Curve. This isn’t super surprising. A lot of bands get boring after 25 years. Cheers to the butchers for at least putting out something listenable. Compare to, say, most of Nick Cave’s recent albums, which leap between “kinda good” and “OH MY GOD TURN IT OFF.” Putting out good albums for more than a decade is hard!

Ok, now that leaves 7 non-compilation albums, plus some good EPs and live stuff, between 1994 and 2010. Also stuff I probably don’t have because English websites aren’t as reliable in regard to Japanese bands. Let’s break them down.

1999 - 2001: The slow, plodding stuff

Mikansei [1999]

Yamane [2001]

2 of the top 5 albums for sure.

Mikansei (which means “Incomplete”) is one of the first albums with serious neo-psych elements. (I skipped the first. We’ll get to it later.) It opens with “Faust,” which is not slow or plodding at all. I gave that description more because of “Boku,” which is good but not interesting enough to be as long as it is, “Mikansei,” which is about as good as title tracks can get, and “Sankaku,” which is fairly energetic but ends with about 10 minutes of kickass guitaring that isn’t energetic for much of the time. I feel like these songs give Mikansei a much more downbeat feel than previous albums. If you want to know why I say they’re punk/neo-psych fusion, give any of these a listen, especially Sankaku. (You might find it under “「△」.” “Sankaku” means triangle and sometimes the title is stylized that way.) This one has its rough spots and is clearly a transition album, but it’s one of my favorites. Someone must really like this album, because there’s easily-available romanization and English translation of most of the songs online--not so for the other albums, except Kocorono.

Yamane was the first butchers album I ever heard in full, and it was love at first listen. Almost every butchers record has at least 1 instrumental song, and Wagamama No Hotori is my favorite. It fits so beautifully in its place before “-100%.” I’m sorry I can’t find a link. Yamane is a lot slower than other butchers albums. It begins with a rather skippable trumpet opening, then opens proper strong with “Happy End.” It is not a happy-sounding song but sonically, the proper reverb use and repetitive structure and beautiful guitars make it a personal favorite. The last 3 songs on the album are “-100%,” “Moeru, Omoi,” and “-100% No.2.” Both of the 100%s have the same bass line and mellow melody. They’re relatively peaceful and lovely, if you like noise the same way I do. “Moeru, Omoi” is a long, intense divider between them, where every word is screamed as loudly as Yokimura can. The buildup around the 4-minute mark is the reason I love this band so much. “-100% No.2″ is the best song on the album. The production is immaculate, “-100% No.2″ has this fuzzy distortion that makes me feel so relaxed and happy. I’m sorry I can’t find links to any of these online. It is some of the best butchers material there is.

2003 - 2004: The weird stuff

Kōya ni Okeru bloodthirsty butcher [2003]

Birdy [2004]

Neither of these these rank among my favorites, but they undeniably have some super good songs.

Kōya ni Okeru has “Lucky Man,” which feels a bit like a return-to-roots attempt. This is what those first 3 albums would have sounded like if they had more experience back then. “Dorama” is... an “Obladi Oblada” cover? More or less? There’s no way it’s an exact translation, but it is almost the exact melody. “ 悲しみをぶっとばせ！“ is an instrumental song that’s mostly good except it has this really annoying synth around the 2:50 mark. There are a few segments where they experiment with atonal sounds, but it doesn’t work well for them.

Birdy opens with two of their best songs: “JACK NICOLSON” is one of their most popular, I believe. It also has a neat video, check it out (though cw for suicide attempt). The last line of the chorus translates to “I want to be a bad role model.” “Birdy” is simple but fun. For a song released in 2004, it really sounds like something someone would have put out in the 90s in the US. It’s kinda downhill from there. “Love Supreme” is one of their better instrumental songs. Again, there’s atonal stuff that doesn’t work--the album’s real pitfall.

2005 - 2007: The FUCK YEAH stuff

Banging the Drum [2005]

Guitarist Wo Korosanaide [2007]

I’ll come back to Banging the Drum. There’s too much to say. But I want it to be clear it belongs in the FUCK YEAH category.

Guitarist Wo Korosanaide translates to “Don’t Kill the Guitarist.” It begins with “yeah#1″ and OH MY GOD, YES, THIS IS HOW YOU BEGIN AN ALBUM, FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAH FUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! This song RULES. It’s energetic as hell, dynamic enough to be more than a simple fast punk song, and is so very butchers in sound. It is, unfortunately, the highlight of the album. But there’s other really interesting stuff here, and nothing grating, so FUCK YEAH! I really like the female guest vocals on “Mushizu to taikutsu.” “Story” is like a better version of the type of songs that would be on No Album Mudai, their next album. This is solid work in general, even if it’s not their best.

1996, 2005: The stuff I skipped

Kocorono [1996]

Banging the Drum [2005]

I skipped them because, y’know, best for last.

Kocorono is probably their most popular album. There is a reason for this. It’s almost perfect 90s punk, with a narrative, evolving sound, musical callbacks, fantastic guitarwork, and my favorite guitar solo of all time ever. It’s another downbeat album, for the most part, but is the real start of the punk/psych fusion sound I love so much. Each song is a month, starting February and ending December. (A bit like Album of the Year.) The original album didn’t have “January,” but it’s on the 2010 re-release. It’s a better closer to the album than “December” and I recommend getting it. Every single song is great. If this post weren’t already so long, I’d want to go into my favorite parts down to the second of each. (Maybe later.) The awkward sax opening of “November” is the only thing I think doesn’t work. “July” is my favorite song ever. It is half guitar solo, wonderful, wonderful guitar solo. I could watch live performances of it all day. It is a true shame I’ll never get to see the butchers perform, because hearing this live would be a nigh-spiritual experience for me. I get goosebumps when I hear the opening.

Banging the Drum is my favorite album. I mean of any band, ever, not just bloodthirsty butchers. I don’t know that others feel the same--looking around at internet reviews, it seems other people like Guitarist wo Korosanaide more. But this is my blog, so I’m rambling about this one.

It begins with a kickass drum solo. (”Joshou”) That song leads into a high-energy punk song (”B2″) and from there it gets even better. Every song flows effortlessly into the next. Every song is interesting. Everything they try works, nothing sounds bad or grating or annoying for even a second. I find it hard to listen to any song in isolation--I need the whole album every time. At most, I can listen to the final two tracks--”No. 6″ and “Banging the Drum”--in tandem. They fit together far too well.

There are a some female vocals on this album (uncommon for the butchers), and they all sound great. “YAMAHA-1″ is the winner, in that regard. In “PLUS/MINUS” they act as lovely backup.

Track order is an art in itself--it’s why I almost always listen to whole albums rather than individual songs. I love the artistry involved in constructing a long sonic narrative. I think Banging the Drum has one of the most impressive album structures I’ve ever heard. It’s not quite Raining Blood (the best I know of), but everything fits together so, so well. (It helps that all the songs are great.) “Banging the Drum” is one of the best album outros ever.

Much like Yamane, the production works very well with the songs, and they have just the right amount of lovely fuzzy distortion. Again, I could go into every song by second and mention my favorite parts, but this is too long already. With that in consideration...

tl;dr

Listen to Kocorono and Banging the Drum. If you like either, listen to Yamane. If you like that, go for Mikansei, Guitarist wo Korosanaide, and maybe Birdy. Let bloodthirsty butchers into your heart. Amen.

[nonsubstantial]

EVERY ALBUM I LOVED FROM 2016

alright. long list, but if you’re looking for music recommendations, save this somewhere. and fyi, these aren’t just albums I simply liked. every album on this list I loved, meaning that I probably listened to it at least 5 times, and that it had some special significance to me as a listener. I’ll start with the best first, and go roughly in order of importance. Lastly, the best way to know what you’ll like is just to listen, so I linked one song from each.

1. Danny Brown - Atrocity Exhibition

10 out of 10. My favorite album of 2016, and all time. Danny Brown became a pretty prolific name amongst people discussing experimental hip hop following his 2012 album, XXX, which focused on themes drug abuse, poverty, and the music industry... but with a uniquely personal and self reflective take. What interested me most was that his commentary on working with music could be abstracted into analysis of all forms of art, and I feel like that refreshingly analytical perspective, interspersing crude humour and bleak narratives, was what cemented the album as the classic it is today. His new album though, surpassed even that. The narrative depth here is on another fucking level. Everything I just praised XXX for is also true of Atrocity Exhibition, but instead of being drawn to certain standout moments on the album (like I was with XXX), literally the entire album feels like a standout moment. Every song carries a unique tone and a deep story worthy of intense investigation, and each is different and memorable, even compared to the other songs on the album. That variety means that no matter what mood I’m in, I can usually find some emotional payoff in at least one track. However, the album as a whole is not without a narrative thread. And that thread is Danny Brown himself. XXX invited us the see the humanity behind his music, and even if one couldn’t agree with or appreciate every set of bars, it still allowed for appreciation of Danny Brown as a fellow human being; to find value in learning from his flaws, which he was never shy about. He went as far as to ask in a chorus “what the fuck I got to lie for?”. His personality is explored to an even greater, and even more authentic extent on Atrocity Exhibition. Not to mention that if you appreciate experimental and meticulous production, this album delivers what feels like the contemporary payoff of the entire music industry’s sound refinement efforts over the past few decades. Every song is a fucking treat, genre blending ear candy for people who seek a wide variety of sound and style. A type of detail in its creation that still pays off even on my (presumably) 100th listen. Barring the specifics of what makes each individual song so great, in my honest opinion, it doesn’t get any better than this.

2. The Drones - Feelin Kinda Free

This album goes hard as hell. In the way that Danny Brown’s album reflects upon the self, this album reflects upon society, and easily delivers more intelligent and elegiac political commentary than I could ever imagine writing into music. Taman Shud (linked) has got to be my favorite song of the entire year, addressing sensationalism in politics and media by using a notably Australian example to show how generalizing nuanced issues for the sake of appealing to the greatest audience of laypeople surrenders authenticity and impedes efforts of finding suitably nuanced solutions to those problems... and the rest of the album isn’t subdued either. I need also to mention the song Shut Down SETI, because not only does it reflect exactly why my massive childhood interest in extraterrestrials eventually tapered out, but I think that many things can be explained as the product of subtle egotism, and it’s important to try to analyze our behavior through that lens. The instrumentation is nice change of pace for this band, since their iconic blues guitar lead really met its apex on their 2013 album, I See Seaweed, and fortunately, the band was diligent enough to make it sound like they’ve always been producing this kind of eccentric noise rock.

3. Street Sects - End Position

Contender for the most fucked up album on this list. It’s a roller coaster of horror and industrial noise, but it’s not without something deep to say. I think it ends up being profound in the way that it combines horror at the implicit ideological failings of society with horror at the explicit violence committed by people in society who feel forsaken. I don’t think I’ve ever started listening to this album and not felt compelled to keep listening for as long as possible. The wide variety of samples and noises keep it constantly interesting, and the tone of both those samples and the vocal performances flow as water from one idea to the next. In fact, every song bleeds into the next, and the album’s tension never slows down completely until about halfway through the last song, where its roller coaster finally screeches to a halt.

4. Kero Kero Bonito - Bonito Generation

The most personally uplifting album on this list. One of Kero Kero Bonito’s previous songs, Sick Beat, is notable for being the greatest video gamer anthem ever produced, but unfortunately I felt like the rest of that first album lacked the kind of depth that the single had. All of the songs on their newest album, however, are memorable and thought provoking in the same way that Sick Beat was. Their oldest song that made it onto this project, Picture This, is about how the ability to take photos and selfies has become fundamental to our understandings of ourselves and others. Every word of that song is massively important, and manages to do justice to both the intimacy of creating art and the delight in being able to share it. One other song, Graduation, is literally about graduating from college, and holy shit if it didn’t perfectly encapsulate my experience of receiving my undergrad degree, the very same semester that the song came out, complete with both my enthusiasm and disillusionment towards the college experience!! I also can’t stop gaily repeating the line from Break, where the singer, Sarah Midori Perry, casually croons “I’ve got a smile on my face. cause now I’m taking a break” ... every time I, you know, take a break. I honestly can’t recommend this enough. Every song is deeply memorable, motivating, and motivated in its own intent: to portray life as beautiful and vibrant.

while 1-4 are masterpieces that have affected me on a deeply personal level, 5-11 I would still consider artistic successes that excel in almost every way. I loved every song on these albums and highly encourage everyone to listen:

5. Death Grips - Bottomless Pit

6. Lemon Demon - Spirit Phone

7. Run The Jewels - Run The Jewels 3

8. Weezer - The White Album

9. Vektor - Terminal Redux

10. Ştiu Nu Ştiu - Fake End

11. Fire! - She Sleeps, She Sleeps

the rest of this list I still highly enjoyed and would still highly recommend. while I don’t think they’re as profound as 1-11, I have consistently enjoyed them and I hope to relisten to them many more times:

12. Deerhoof - The Magic

13. G.L.O.S.S. - TRANS DAY OF REVENGE

14. case/lang/viers - case/lang/viers

15. Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool

16. Uyama Hiroto - freeform jazz

17. Show Me The Body - Body War

18. Cult Of Luna and Julie Christmas - Mariner

19. Frankie Cosmos - Next Thing

20. Crying - Beyond the Fleeting Gales

21. Young Thug - Slime Season 3

22. The Body - No One Deserves Happiness

23. Childish Gambino - “Awaken, My Love!”

24. Blank Banshee - MEGA

25. Princess nokia - 1992

26. Nine Inch Nails - Not The Actual Events

27. Katie Dey - Flood Network

28. The Dillinger Escape Plan - Dissociation

29. A Tribe Called Quest - We got it from Here... Thank You 4 Your Service

30. The Dear Hunter - Act V: Hymns With The Devil In Confessional

31. Kendrick Lamar - Untitled Unmastered.

32. Beyoncé - Lemonade

33. Jerry Paper - Toon Time Raw!

34. The Avalanches - Wildflower

35. KRIMEWATCH - demo

36. Xenia Rubinos - Black Terry Cat

37. Ulcerate - Shrines of Paralysis

38. The Caretaker - Everywhere at the end of time

[mint-sm]

LOS CAMPESINOS! REVIEW/ANALYSIS: Sick Scenes

Note: I haven’t found a full album post video and some of the songs aren’t available on Youtube for me to cite like with my other reviews, sadly. Listen to it on Spotify or something lol

---

So... that was a long time, wasn’t it? Not just the gap between my last review, but between albums. There was a four-year gap between “Sick Scenes” and the band’s last album, “No Blues,” a product that I could see some appeal in but was personally unsatisfied with, but I was still eager to hear another record from them. Unfortunately, we had to wait this long gap, since things have changed, and simply put: the band has grown up.

Not necessarily in just a literal or maturity-level sense, but the fact that the world we’ve been living in has kind of grown unkind to everyone in the last few years. Not only has the music scene the band was affiliated with been changing to something else that’s -- for the lack of better words -- kinda boring, and not only has it also become less profitable, with the band resigning to day jobs for a while (thank God for commemorative football jersey sales!), but this has been a long stretch of time where everyone’s gone much more weary, especially as the world starts bombarding you with crappiness.

Worrying about a quarter-life crisis, fighting physical and mental illnesses, watching all the things from your youth slowly crumble away while past generations trivialize and demean your current problems, watching all your current interests go to shit, and also becoming increasingly uneasy with how crappy and seemingly suicidal the world at large has become, especially with the US presidential election, the Brexit vote, and most importantly, Euro 2016 being largely terrible.

I bring this up because it finally seems to provide the backing for something I desperately missed from “No Blues”: Context. I’ve went over the musical issues I had with “No Blues” a bit more in-depth in my review of it, but lyrically and thematically, there was just a sort of vagueness and a lack of a definite focus that also really turned me off from liking it very much. “Sick Scenes,” however, feels like it’s much more of a return to form in that finally, we do have a more concrete approach to the album, in that we actually know what went behind its philosophy, and now there’s actually more to latch onto and relate to other than vaguely pretty, overly-precise and clean production.

ALL THESE / SICK SCENES PLAYED OUT IN MY MEMORY / WAKE UP / I'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING HONESTLY /

The album has actually toned down a lot of that overly pristine mixing and production of “No Blues,” and there’s actually a lot more grit, texture as well as tightness to it. It’s not “Romance Is Boring”-levels noisy, but there is a certain rawness and thump to a lot of the instrumentation again; one standout thing is the snares and kicks like from the song “Sad Suppers,” which feel a bit more crackly, but also god-loads tighter, and in a way that actually has a sort of “dirty” quality to it that I’m a huge fan of for this type of music.

“Sick Scenes” has also been a step-up compositionally as well. The melodies feel a lot catchier, with many of the bangers feeling a lot faster and more driving than those in “No Blues,” and they tend to have a consistent or growing momentum to them that actually feel powerful. “Renato Dall’Ara (2008)” is an awesome opening track because of this, starting off with like these awesome “spiralling-down” backup vocals, a really catchy chorus and more definitive sonic evolution as it goes on, it’s just great (as of this writing, there’s now word this song’s getting a music video next week! Can’t wait!)

THEY WOULD PLAY MY REQUESTS AT THE GUESTLIST’S BEHEST / ANY DISCO ALL ACROSS TOWN / BUT THINGS CHANGE, NOW STELLA’S A LAGER / AND BOY SHE IS ALWAYS DOWNED /

Los Camp have even much improved most of their slower ballads, or at least their sort of “breather” tracks, which now actually have a lot more going for them musically and lyrically. “5 Flucloxacillin” and “The Fall of Home” are especially surprising since basically, praise heaven almighty, GARETH CAN ACTUALLY SING! Like I don’t know what the hell happened in these last 4 years, but holy god Gareth can actually pull of being gentle and melodic, and in a way that actually conveys a lot of emotion and isn’t boring, especially with the subject matter.

Like I said, “Sick Scenes” feels like much more of a step up from “No Blues” and even “Hello Sadness” in that it definitely feels more about actual definite things, but a lot of the mentalities that I did think could’ve made both of those two albums much more interesting than they ended up being are still present here. It took me a while to figure out what made it so different, but I think the early days of “Hold on Now, Youngster…” fell more along the lines of being more actively emotional and visceral, trying to thump these feelings of weirdly upbeat melancholia into your head, whereas things like “No Blues” and this album seem to want to treat it more playfully, look at it with contemplation and humility, trying to find a dryer sense of subtle wittiness to it.

In that sense, “Sick Scenes” feels like it’s sort of blending the best of both worlds by approaching the focused definition, viscerality and sound of the “Youngster” days, but mixing it with a much more self-reflective and mature philosophical method. It’s a reasonable approach for the album considering its subject matter and consistent sense of fond nostalgia, and while it does tread a bit more of older ground as a result, it feels a lot more comprehensive and less overly stuffed or boring, while giving a bit of a wink back to the days of old. Hell, “Renato Dall’Ara (2008)” seems to directly reference “Youngster,” not just with the general feel and attitude (and it’s snarky as hell and I love it), but also that title (hint hint, the “2008” in the title is NOT referencing the Renato Dall'Ara).

PICTURED READING KARL MARX BESIDE HIS PARENTS’ POOL / FACING RIDICULE HE BLEATED / “THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME RICH, NO WAY, / IT’S ONLY OUTDOOR AND IT ISN’T HEATED” /

Unfortunately, a bit of a strike against this more grown-up-approach is that it means some parts of the album fall into the same trap as with “No Blues,” in that sometimes the lyrics can get a little too witty for their own good, and can get a little too obsessed with esoteric referential wordplay rather than actual content or coherence. “For Whom the Belly Tolls” (couldn’t find a video for this) to me feels like one of the weaker links on the album, in that the music isn’t particularly dynamic nor all that catchy for me, and would be ultimately rather unremarkable if not for that spontaneous choral bridge at the halfway point... which to be honest, transitions AWESOMELY.

Also, there are just some occasionally “No Blues”-esque deadpan moments on this album, which again, I can totally find appreciation for, but for me tend to end up kind of samey-sounding and a little boring, especially later on the album with “A Litany/Heart Swells,” or “Got Stendhal’s.” I dunno what to really say about these tbh, not only do they just kinda get repetitive after a bit, but they also feel like retreads to stuff Los Camp’s already done before, like with the “Heart Swells/Pacific Daylight Time” from “Doomed” or “What Death Leaves Behind” from “No Blues.”

However, with all that said, just about every other song on the album has something to offer as I’d expect from Los Camp’s standards, in that the music and subject matters feel diverse and intricate, eliciting conflicting yet consistent feels, and I do mean “feels,” since while this album is mostly much more vibrant than these last few albums, it’s actually still very gloomy and impending at times. Honestly, while that cover art above is still that popular pastel-y pink color that I kinda hate, it actually does feel rather indicative of the album in a good way: This kind of vacant, slacking and tired, nearly zombie-like person that’s so utterly fed up with how life and the world is playing out that they just want to lay there in the middle of a supermarket like an idiot who’s been up all night thinking about how shitty the world is. It’s indicative, interesting, kinda bleak, but also really funny.

(IT SEEMS UNFAIR) TO BE A ROTTEN HORN OF PLENTY! / (IT SEEMS UNFAIR) TO BE CADAVER FOR A CURSE! / (IT SEEMS UNFAIR) TO BE AN OVERFLOW FOR EMPTY! / (IT SEEMS UNFAIR) TO TRY YOUR BEST BUT FEEL THE WORST! /

Tracks like “I Broke Up in Amarante” and “A Slow, Slow Death” manage to encapsulate a lot of complete and utter frustration in an incredibly bombastic and grand veneer. Even though they do feel like they’re about completely different EXACT subjects (which I’m pretty sure are the aforementioned Euro 2016 and Brexit, respectively), they manage to feel oddly cathartic, but in a weird, kind of restrained but still natural-feeling way. There are also a lot of references in the songs like with “No Blues,” but overall it doesn’t feel as overbearing with these tracks, since the lyrics feel like perfectly comprehensible metaphors as is, and I find them pretty charming and relatable, as well as accessible.

“Here’s to the Fourth Time” (couldn’t find a link for this one) is also pretty humorous but also kind of awesome, and it honestly feels like the closest the album gets to “Romance is Boring”’s sound. The melodies are pretty poppy and catchy and have like this sort of just “grooving” and textured flow and feel to them that I love, and the last third of this song goes onto like this really noisy but badass-sounding breakdown with looped drums, distorted guitars and vocals, but in addition to that, the lyrics manage to be probably the most charming on the record, in that obviously the situation is cringey as hell (it’s about sex, and sex in a Los Camp song can never end well) but also kind of awkwardly hilarious and sympathetic, especially given the context the bandmates, now being 30-something-year-olds contemplating their quarter-life crises.

“5 Flucloxacillin” and “The Fall of Home,” once again, do feel the most indicative of that mentality of “I’m so fucking done with this place”-ness, but they approach it in such unique ways to what you’d expect from typical Los Camp fare. “5 Flucloxacillin” is kind of like this livelier indie rock ballad, with again, Gareth’s great vocals, but it’s surprisingly more “mellow” than “gentle”: the vocals are smooth and lively, but there does sound like a bit of deep-seated resentment hidden as the lyrics go into the frustration and bitterness that one would have with taking a lot of medications for things like acne or depression, and growing up in a world of utter chaos while being shittalked to by the people who made it that way whilst undermining your problems, and how even though years have passed and you probably should’ve grown out of them… you still haven’t.

(Hint hint! This song is about baby-boomers being assholes! Do you like this song yet?)

AM I A PIGGY BANK OF OBSOLETE CURRENCY? / AN ORDER OF MERIT FROM COUNTRY KNOWN FOR TYRANNY? / ANOTHER BLISTER PACK POPS, BUT I STILL FEEL MUCH THE SAME / THIRTY-ONE AND DEPRESSION IS A YOUNG MAN'S GAME /

“The Fall of Home” takes a much more intimate approach to these subjects in a way that feels rather basic, but gut-wrenching. It’s a guitar ballad, and while this could’ve easily been boring, it just sounds so nice, with like these great piano and violin accompaniments, and Gareth’s gentle, almost kind of fragile-sounding but beautiful singing, basically listing all the miserable losses of everything you once loved, locally and nationally, going down to shit by simple virtue of time having passed by and the present not being kind to them. It manages to be the simplest, but most poignant track on the entire album, and is honestly probably one of Los Camp’s newest classics.

BATTERY DIES ON YOUR MONTHLY CALL / BUDGET CUT AT YOUR PRIMARY SCHOOL / ANOTHER FAMILY FRIEND FELL SICK / GAVE THE FASCISTS A THOUSAND TICKS /

The ending track, “Hung Empty,” is alright. It’s got some great flow to it and a very catchy chorus hook, and it ends in a way only Los Camp can really get away with, valiantly shouting “Feels like I've been waiting on it, nearly all my life, but what, if this is it now, what if this is how we die!?” in a way that almost feels defiant or daring. It’s a creditable finisher, but at the same time it kind of feels… expected, you know? It feels like a typical Los Camp finisher, but it’s also just kinda basic. It’s actually kind of a microcosm of the entire album for me: it’s good! But some parts of it feel like they’ve been done before.

Like I’ve said, this album does feel like a much more pleasing return to form for the band’s earlier works but approached with a more grown-up, more exposed-to-the-world and vaguely “doomed” mindset, and for the most part, it’s very compelling! It’s got some great songs, and its feel feels a lot more definite and impactful than their last albums, it’s just that there’s a bit of crows feet here and there, and it kinda feels like even with the new perspectives it explores, some of it feels a little by-the-numbers at this point.

Not in a ruinous way, but I hope that for next album they do go even more adventurous than they did here. Again, I do think they already made a good effort; I was going to give this more of a 3.5/5, but after being given more time to appreciate the little intricacies of this album and realizing where a lot of it is coming from, it’s grown on me pretty well, it’s just I kinda wanna see more in the future, y’know? Who knows? Maybe they actually will, and I’m kind of excited by that prospect. We’re just going to have to wait and see.

Maybe if they manage to sell another thousand more of those “Doomed” football jerseys. I don’t care much about football, but goddamn I kinda want one anyway.

LC!4LYF (4/5)

FAVES: “Renato Dall’Ara (2008)”, “Sad Suppers”, “I Broke Up in Amarante”, “The Fall of Home”, “5 Flucloxacillin”, “Here’s to the Fourth Time!”, “Hung Empty”

aaaaand there you have it! Reviews of all the major Los Camp albums! Ahh… fuck

I might do more reviews of different albums in the future, but maybe not. Iunno, maybe I’ll do a few one-shots of albums I wanna talk about, like Gorillaz or something, but I don’t really know what I can really offer for that lol. We’ll see.

[saffrongamer]

Tadpole Treble Review

Script for my upcoming review video on Tadpole Treble for Wii U and Steam

     I have almost 700 games on steam and it shouldn’t surprise you to know that most of them would be indie games. I’ve slowly obtained these games through steam sales and humble bundles. Therefore, I didn’t really get a lot of them through the desire to play them. While most indie games disappoint me and don’t really offer something for me to be interested, a small team lead by two brothers really interested me in their rhythm game so much that I had to sink my teeth into it.

     Tadpole treble, released by Bit-finity games in 2016 for Steam and Wii U. I only knew about this game through the man, the myth, the legend; Matthew Taranto. He’s well known for creating the popular webcomic BrawlintheFamily. Which I read since I was in high school every update up until its conclusion in 2014. During that time he would experiment with his game and publish demos to his website. After the end of his comic he, his brother, and Dane Caro launched their very own Kickstarter with a fair amount of success. I mean 34k out of 30k is plenty impressive. 

     Tadpole Treble, a game I absolutely had to purchase during launch, is a simple rhythm game where you’re a small tadpole named Baton. Get used to the puns folks, the whole game is full of them. You, as a tadpole, emerge from your egg dodging notes, collecting bubbles, and smacking bamboo sticks to some catchy tunes only to be caught by a hungry pelican. Out of sheer determination and willpower you somehow ram your way out of the pelican’s mouth and to freedom below. Unfortunately you’ve been dropped onto the top of a mountain. Now you need to go through levels dodging colorful trout, hungry turtles, pixelated ducks, pesky mosquitoes, frightening barracudas, rolling boulders, chilling ice water, obese piranhas, sharp-shooting crawfish, and deadly saltwater.

     Throughout your story you’ll meet some extremely loveable characters. Outside your parents there is Etude the bullfrog, the dusty Beatle and his snail Amigos, your Pelican..., and Sonata the Tadpole. I need to talk about Sonata the tadpole. His level, Midnight Bayou, is a level where he sings a love song to you. Not to mention, he’s voiced by none other than Matthew Taranto. I GET TO BE SERENADED TO BY MATTHEW TARANTO IN TADPOLE FORM. How could that be any better?! You should also listen to Thunder Creek. The tune is incredibly catchy and fun to sing along to. 

     When Baton returns home she sees that some kind of oil has begun to pollute her home. We learn that a plane has crashed into the bay causing an oil spill damaging the wildlife. Baton decides to take charge and do what she can to save her family’s home. The final level is a boss-fight that I honestly cannot agree with. The final fight is with a robot named ELE-94. This fight wants you to first strike each chord enough times to break it. I’ll give this phase a pass even though I wasn’t able to realize what you needed to do at first. The next phase wanted you to hit symbols to bounce up and hit a random hanging egg. Why is the egg there? I don’t know. Why does it hurt ELE? I couldn’t tell you. If it was explained in the story somewhere, I must have missed it. The last phase is obnoxious, but really easy when you know what you’re supposed to do. Its called “Another Refrain” for a reason. ELE will try to burn you with a lighter while she sings on loop. If it's not super obvious to you, you need to smack the lighter back at her. However that does nothing. You need to wait until you see her spark the lighter and then you can hurt damage her. Only after doing so you can save your home for your family.

     Lets jump into the gameplay. You’re a baby tadpole swimming along a music scale in the water dodging music notes, enemies, and hazards. While collecting points for your score, food, and bubbles. Bubbles are your main currency in this game. You collect them to bring to Etude the bullfrog for extra goodies and features. Like a music player and a creature catalog. Etude also mentions that he wishes for you to bring him challenge flies. In order to acquire these rare and endangered flies to feed to an obese frog you must beat each level with a level specific challenge. Such as hit all of the golden objects in barracuda caverns, never leave the deadly water in saltwater cape, or smack every single freakin’ bamboo stick in chip-tune lagoon. I absolutely loath Piranha Jungle. You’re required to not take a single piece of damage to get this fly. I wouldn’t even bother with this level if not for the reward for the flies.

     Once you feed the famished over-sized bullfrog you’re treated with some news. Etude tells you of an area where some animals have gone missing. Being the courageous young tadpole, you leap into action to investigate. Upon your arrival you’re treated to a very large Kraken with a trident who seems to be having a very bad day and wants to make sure you also have a very bad day. And believe you me, he’s going to make sure you have a bad day. That endurance in Piranha Jungle was just training you for this level. You see these steam tags? THEY’RE LIES! This game is a bullet hell. Rhythm game, my ass. You need to dodge music notes, with absolutely zero health pick ups. They’ve brought back the lightning from Thunder Creek. Here’s a small hint to help with the cymbal timing. The ring around the cymbal the distance you have left, so use that to help you hit it. Watch out for the big ol’ tentacles. The hitbox can feel somewhat odd. This level didn’t flow nearly as smoothly as the other levels. I think I would have had more fun doing the Sans fight from Undertale again. But I don’t think Matthew intended this to be a scored level so he left that out. Which I believe would be a fair decision. After all, it seems as if this fight was a bonus Kickstarter goal made by one amazing person who pledged $2,000. Thanks man. Thanks a lot for this hell.

     The last thing I need to discuss is the composition mode; the big feature of the game. It is what was advertised the most. I’m sure everyone is familiar with the old Mario paint style music creator. Well this one is much more detailed, has more instruments, and can make music more properly. I honestly wasn’t interested at the time to make my own songs. I was pretty worn out from the kraken fight. So I went online to try and find some music. While I’m currently playing the Wii U version, and using composition mode is better on the Wii U, I have to say that sharing music is pretty crummy on both versions. The Wii U version wants you either load them from a file source or scan a QR code. Now that's all well and good, but I simply cannot find any quality QR codes online. Through some searching, I managed to find a few on the old Bit-finity forums. Which has since been downed in Russian spam-bots and fitness  advertisements. The steam version isn’t any better. They use the same method only with a webcam to function like the Wii U’s camera. This would work way better if they had steam workshop support. A dev post did say that they would be looking into it last September, but at this rate I highly doubt that will come to be. It's a real shame this mode might be wasted. I’ll try to compose some music and post it here in the coming weeks if I have the time. If you want an example of the the composition mode can do, I’ll leave some links to some YouTube videos posted on the Bit-finity YouTube page.

     So that’s Tadpole Treble. An overall enjoyable game that is so incredibly relaxing (bar the bonus stage) that I had to purchase it on both platforms. It’s very disappointing that the composition mode might go underutilized, but hopefully the Taranto brothers port this game to the switch and give it another chance. Hell, I’d buy a physical release. Regardless, thank you for listening to my Tadpole Treble review, I really love writing these. And Matthew, if you ever need a duet partner. I’m your guy.

[repaintingyourxyz]

Forever you will be my eternity.... -to BRIGHT-

(Originally posted on May, 08 2013, link tto original post: here)

So, as announced by the girls, BRIGHT will disband after they finish their one-man live show. Their last show will be in Tokyo, May 12th 2013. I cried when I know that they will disband. I really love this group. They are so talented, good voices, and also beautiful. Love all their songs. Sorairo, Eternity, Kotoba ni Dekinakute and many more..

It's been 2 years since I first know them. I know them through Yuya's songs that featured in Yuya's Paradise single. It's "Secret Love" by Matsushita Yuya feat. SHUN and BRIGHT. Even though they called it "BRIGHT" but all you can hear in this song is just Nanaka's voice.. Then, I found a fan of Yuya that also love BRIGHT. I asked about BRIGHT to her, she even upload BRIGHT photos that she have for me. She gave me a link about BRIGHT in wiki for me. In wikipedia they wrote the details about BRIGHT's singles and albums. With that as my guide, I started to look for their songs. The first song that I got was "Kirai demo Suki... ~Aishiteru~". At first I just have an opinion that this group has a really great voices. Then I listen to "I'll Be There". That song are the reason why I decided to like them. "I'll be There" is a really great song I think. Then I started to look for their video on youtube through my friend's twitter. Their videos uploaded by avex official youtube account. The first video I watched was "Ichinen Nikagetsu Hatsuka". When I watched this music video I know that I'm in love with them. They're not just good at singing, but also dancing! And I discovered that they are all beautiful! >< At first I like Nanaka, she's so pretty on Ichinen's MV, but then I downloaded more songs from them. I started to like "Sorairo" and I fell in love with someone's voice there, but because I still couldn't guess who sing each part of their songs, I didn't know who's the owner of the voice I fell in love with. Not long after that, I drag my friend at high school to become their fans /lol/ and she become really addicted to BRIGHT too just like me XD She downloaded some MV and from her I got "Sorairo" MV and finally I could see the one who have the voice I love. And the one who have that great voice is MI-MI :D Since that day, MI-MI become my ichiban in BRIGHT. If I should rank them based on how much I like them, MI-MI is the first, Nagi and Nanaka are the second, and the last one is MEG. I can't decide between Nagi and Nanaka because both of them have their own styles. But if you asked me who's voice I like better, then my choice will be Nagi :) Easy for me to like MI-MI, Nagi, and Nanaka, but for MEG, I can't. MEG's voice is too "nasal" *don't know how should explain nasal, but it's linguistic word fyi*. But, after I listened to "Still..." I started to like her, even though not as much as I like the other three. I listen to BRIGHT's songs almost everyday. When Studying during exams weeks, when I have to go to school on Saturday because I have to attend extra class for math, and even before national exams, I really love their songs. Somehow their songs give me motivation when I start to feel lack of will to chase my dream. Listening to their voice become my habit when I got stress with my school stuffs. I even draw a picture with "Sorairo" as the theme on my mathematics work book XD Other facts about them that makes me love them even more is the fact that they released their 3rd full-album on my birthday ^^ I always want to buy that album as my birthday gift, but I don't have enough money to buy it and it's been more than a year since the album released orz But I will make sure that when I can earn money by myself I will buy their singles and albums... but then suddenly something pop-in in my mind. If they disband, will I still be able to buy their singles and albums? Well, I hope they still have BRIGHT's cds when I want to buy it.

Next is BRIGHT's members profile :D Let's start form the oldest; NAGI.

Her real name is Shigemura Nagisa. NAGI is her stage name. She's the leader of the group. And the alto of the group. Even though her voice is alto but I think that she got the largest vice-range than the others *I never study about vocals and instruments so I don't know how to explain what I exactly want to explain*. Really love her voice :D Second is MI-MI

Her real name is Inoue Mizuki (just fyi, there's also Inoue Mizuki in Johnny's Jr lol). MI-MI is her stage name. She's the mezzo-soprano in the group with Nanaka. As told before, I love her voice, no other things to say about her voice because I already love it lol XD MI-MI is so beautiful, ne? If Nanaka is pretty than MI-MI is beautiful~ /MI-MI biased/ Btw, don't hate her because of her teeth. She's cute that way. And doesn't like idols these days that did surgery to have that kind of teeth, MI-MI's teeth are real, just see their video back when they are still a student in Cales XD Third is MEG

Her real name is Nakaya Megumi. MEG is her stage name (and there's another MEG in Japanese music industry~). Well, I already said that her voice is nasal, right? Then let's just talk about her personality. She's is funny girl. If you see her twitter you can see that she tweet so many random things and she takes a lot of random pictures. Seems like she love nail art, because she likes to take a picture of her nail :3 And she also likes reptiles I think, because her phone-strap is full with that creatures. When I watched their MV making video, I always see the girls having a lot of fun and this silly girl will just do something funny :3 And last is NANAKA

Her real name is Kobayashi Nanaka. Her stage name and her real name are same but her stage name written in capitals. When you first listen to BRIGHT's songs you will think that this girl's voice is reminds you with BoA's. And the next thing that you will realize is; she is the center of the group. I even called her "the main vocalist" when I asked my friend that also a fan of Yuya about her name. Because the unfairness in this group, I started to hate Nanaka. I hate how avex forced Nanaka to the front and put the other 3 as Nanaka's backing vocals. Well, except for MI-MI, She's in better state than the other two. But then I read a comment by someone in LJ. She said that forcing Nanaka is the last tactic they have to make them got the attention from public. Well, I think it's true. Nanaka played as lead-role in Dream High Musical, a Korean drama-based musical, together with Yuya as the male lead-actor. MI-MI also starred in this musical. I don't know if this musical went well or not because there are not much information about this musical that I could find on internet. Other comment said that recently a group that the members have passed the 20s will hard to get the attention. If I think about it again, it's true. BRIGHT is a vocal-group, you can call them girl-group or girl-band. They're not idol-group. Well, I just got into idol's world so I don't know much about idols, but as I can see from what I learned by watching JE's idols, idols these days debut at a very young age. Marius Yo from Sexy Zone debuted when he still in elementary school, right? and Morimoto Ryutaro too, when HSJ debuted he still in elementary school. BRIGHT are no longer students, unlike idols that mostly high-school students. Nanaka is the youngest but she has reached 20s. Some AKB member has reached that age too but since they are idols with a huge number of fans so it will be alright. Talking about idols. BRIGHT's 3rd album; B R I G H T, has a very controversial covers. Don't know if it's all because the girls and their management didn't know what more to do to get the sale go well or they really thought that by doing that they show to the world that they are all grown up now and no longer kids? Well, just BRIGHT and their management know the answer.

"BRIGHT Best" are their last work. They have a song that also featured Matsushita Yuya. I already write in one of my posts about my opinion about this "Forever" song.

Btw, Matsushita Yuya keep mentioned in this post because he and BRIGHT, also SCANDAL and Shimizu Shota, are attended same vocal and dance school in Kansai region. The name of the school is Cales. It's a famous school, ne? But unfortunately BRIGHT couldn't make it big like SCANDAL (just same with Yuya who can't get the same attention that Shota got even though they were a band-mate back when they were still students in Cales and formed "Suger"). Another trivia about the girls. They are the back dancers in Matsushita Yuya's Super Drive MV, and in 2011 Yuya often brought the girls with him on his tour :D

One of BRIGHT's song that I really like is "Eternity". If listen to this song, I will feel nostalgic and I will remember the moment when I have to prepared myself for the graduation ceremony and how I think that I will do something stupid in front of everyone by step on my dress or just fall because of the heels that I used on graduation ceremony lol XD BRIGHT sing "Forever you will be my eternity". Now, it's our turn to sing those word to the girls. Whatever your decisions are, I will always love BRIGHT. I hope you girls won't stop singing because I truly love your voices :'D