#but the last message i sent her was a happy birthday note a year ago
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
despite-everything · 1 year ago
Text
in such a fucking weird mood. it’s my mom’s birthday, and the one-year anniversary of the last time i willingly spoke to her. i feel this crushing guilt for not giving her a gift or sending her a note, but i have to hold this boundary or else i’ll hate myself and feel even worse. it’s fucking hard
4 notes · View notes
pinkthrone445 · 6 months ago
Text
Will I ever know what it feels to hold you close?
Tumblr media
Pairing:Melissa Schemmenti x Reader
Gender :Fluff fluff fluff
Warnings:I don't think so
Summary:You and Mel meet on a dating app, but due to a bug in the app, you match even though you live many miles apart.
Author's note: Special fic for @neverfindmegone ♥️ for her birthday!
I hope you like this, I wanted to make it the most special possible for you to make you feel as special as you made me feel last week for my birthday, but it was a little bit hard to capture your soul and heart in just a fic, thank you for everything you do for me. Happy birthday sweetheart and enjoy. Cherry!
You were staring at the giant mirror against the wall, your foot was tapping on the floor, your stomach felt like it wanted to come out of your mouth, you've never looked so beautiful and felt so nervous and decomposed at the same time. Your cell phone that was on the dresser rang warning that you had a notification, with trembling hands you took it and smiled when you saw who sent the message
-♠️ MyMissPoker ♥️: "Hello my love, I'm dying to see you, I miss you so much... I hope in a day like this you can feel how much I love you even when I'm not there"-Melissa had sent you a message that immediately calmed your nerves and you couldn't help but remember with happiness how you came to know each other years ago, through a first message like this...
You remembered how you got to talk to each other 5 years ago
You were having lunch at work when your cell phone vibrated with a notification, confused you grabbed your cell phone while the others were talking to each other.
"Miss Poker has sent you a message" the notification said
-MissPoker: "Hello, I love the pictures you have posted, you have talent, and those little poems were pure perfection"-The message read and you frowned. Not long ago, you had downloaded a dating app as your friends had insisted because it had been a while since you had dated anyone. You agreed to do it, but if they let you choose which app it would be. In the end you signed up for one that was very anonymous, the only thing you entered was some personal interests and some photos of things you liked next to a alias, you didn't enter your real name or photos of yourself, and the app showed you people with the same interest that were close by.
The truth is that you had signed up for that one because you thought that no one would talk to you with the photos you had posted, that's why you had been so surprised to receive a notification on your cell phone. It was true that you had uploaded some pictures of the things you painted in your spare time, but you never thought that anyone would like it.
You carefully opened the profile of the person who had spoken to you, in her photos you could see a dog, a photo of some books, another of a baseball field, some cooking pictures, a dance hall and some pictures of the moon.
Curious, you decided to open the messages and answer her
-Littlechef(you):"Thank you...nice pictures too, I'm guessing you like cooking?" - You asked softly laughing about the silly interaction
-MissPoker:"Yes, I looove cooking. You too? Or you have that name in honor or ratatouille?" - The woman answered and you laughed looking at your phone
-Littlechef:"I'm a chef actually..."-You replied a little nervously, not knowing why
-MissPoker:"Isn't the funny thing about this app the anonymous part?.. But since you told me what you do for a living I'll tell you what I do too, I'm an elementary school teacher, the best in the whole school" - The woman replied and you stared at the message for a few seconds
-Littlechef: "the funny thing about this is get to know each other without knowing how we look and let ourselves influence by it... How we will get to know each other if we don't talk about ourselves?" - You replied and she sent a laughing emoji
-MissPoker: "you got me there... I'm Melissa btw, nice to meet you" - she replied and you wondered if it would be right to give your name to a complete stranger, but it was what you first did when you met someone in person, so you thought it wouldn't hurt to do it here
-Littlechef: "I'm (Y/N), nice to meet you too" - You replied without having the slightest idea how important a complete stranger would become to you.
From that day forward the conversation began to flow, from casual conversations to deeper ones, and there was no longer a day when you didn't talk to her.
You also remembered those first feelings for her even if you denied at the moment
Her notifications made you let out that silly laugh every time, like a child does when he gets into some mischief. You were always checking your phone. Her notification brightened your day in a surprising way and made you happy how easy everything was with her, there was always a topic of conversation and she always knew what to say when you got quiet. She was amazing.
Just talking to her made you feel a warmth in your soul that you didn't really know how to handle, to be honest it scared you a little, you had been hurt before and you had sworn to avoid relationships at least for a while, but everything was so perfect that it was hard not to feel something for her even when you haven't seen her face yet. Her way of being was the perfect compliment for you.
You remembered the first time you saw how she was
One day you decided it was time to forget the anonymous part and put a face to the name, so you exchanged photos. You were really nervous about that, what if she thought you were ugly? You knew she was older and that didn't bother you, that even turn you on a little bit, but what if she wasn't what you expected?.. You were so nervous and scared for the unknown but at the same time so thrilled to finally see her... So you each send 3 pictures to each other.
If you had fallen in love with her personality, her face was something else and made you fall even more, she was perfection itself. For God's sake, what a beautiful woman, her hair with those soft curls, her beautiful smile, her eyes shining in a particular way that made you feel warmth and peace, and her sharp cheeks looked like they had been formed by an artist with a chisel. If we are the creation of a God, she was his masterpiece, pure perfection. And let's not talk about her body and the things it made you feel...
She told you repeatedly how beautiful you were too, but you felt like a worm every time you saw her pictures again. You were so lucky.
Also, after the photos, you exchanged numbers too and you immediately deleted the dating app. Your heart was already hers even if you didn't knew at that moment.
You also remembered your first sad moment together
One particular day, you shared a picture of a place where you were painting, you had finished work and went to a particular place you liked to eat something and paint a little. You and Mel had been talking about meeting in person, but that day everything changed and your hopes fade a little. When she asked what you were doing, you told her and decided to send a picture of the place and what you were creating . You never expect Mel's answer
-"You don't live in Phily?"-Her comment left you a little bit lost and confused. The app was supposed to connect you with people who were close to you, but something went wrong and somehow you and Mel were able to see each other's profile even though you lived veeery far away.
You had never thought about it, you had both assumed you lived nearby but you were wrong. That day you both wondered if it made sense to keep talking and making plans to meet each other if you lived so far away, but after much consideration, you decided to see where all this was going despite the distance and kept talking.
Thank goodness you decided to do it, because fate had big plans for you. Love knows no distances and would continue to grow until your heart and hers came together.
You also remembered the ways in which she was always present even when she was far away
You decided to call her, you were about to have a panic attack, your country wasn't very stable and your job was laying off people because it wasn't enough to pay everyone. Mel listened patiently to all your fears and worries
-"What if I'm next? One of my friends was laid off and she had been there longer than me. I really like this job and I don't want to lose it, Mel. I don't know if I have the good qualities to find another one. I'm really scared" - You commented to the redhead while you were crying, while it hurt her to see you like this, she wouldn't let you be sad for long and she wouldn't let you alone on this
-"Hey Hon... Breath please... Let's not get ahead of ourselves, you're an incredible worker, you do everything in that place, I've seen how many amazing things you do, you're worth a lot and I don't think you'll be taken out. And if they do, you'll get a job in no time, you've got incredible talent in the kitchen and doing so many other things, you've got a good time of experience and that helps for a new job, you'll do well and I will be here to help you... But again, let's focus on the present, you still have work, stay focused on that, nothing bad will happen, Okey?"-The redhead whispered, and you nodded a little more calmly when you heard her voice, even if it was on the phone.
In the end she was right, the layoffs stopped and you even got a raise. Like that occasion, she was helping you through every difficult moment.
You remember all the things she did to be present for you even on the distance
Mel figured out how to use her cards to deliver food or snacks you liked.
She also learned how to play some games that you showed her to play with you, it was very funny to hear her insult while you played war games against other people, you almost every time won at uno.
Sometimes you would make video calls and watch movies together even at a distance.
And every night she would call you and tell you things about her day until you fell asleep together.
Every step you took there was her holding your hand and encouraging you, helping you to become a better version of yourself.
You even introduced her to some of your friends via video call and she did the same, so you met Barbara, Janine and Jacob.
One day the two of you decided to formalize things when you noticed how the talks were no longer just a talk of friends, but of something more. Mel wasn't one to believe in long-distance relationships, but somehow everything was working out better than expected.
Time passed with countless calls, photos, videos, sexual calls, and many many messages and audios.
Every once in a while you would send her a package of things for her and she would buy you things too.
There were days when you missed her presence even when you'd never really had her around, she always said that she was right there with you, but that didn't made the distance easier. It's weird to explain, but you can miss someone you've never meet.
You remembered how after months of missing her, the two of you finally met for the first time
When your work and hers allowed it, you agreed to travel to the same place to meet in person, she traveled with Barbara and you with your best friend.
The first hug, that first hug was something that was etched in your memory. You waited for her at the airport because you got there first, when she finally saw you she dropped everything and hugs you so tightly, no a word was shared, but you remember how everything was said in silence. Her hands fit perfectly in the hollow of your back, your height fit perfectly with hers, her perfume was the richest thing you have ever smelled in your life and finally your heart felt at peace.
You spent a week together, having amazing sex, walking, cuddling, taking the opportunity to sleep and bathe together, creating memories and making plans for the future, you even stole a pair of shirts to take home and have her smell close.
That was the first of many trips, every time you had the opportunity you got together to see each other even for a few days.
Your soul craved her in a way that never happened before to you.
Back to the present
A sigh left your lips as you remembered all those things, thousands of things had happened in between those years, even some arguments, but everything was fixed and you stayed together through all. Remembering all of that, remembering how you are able to feel Mel's love in everything she did from day one, made you cry lost in your mind and memories, missing her and feeling sad for some reason.
The sound of a new notification took you out of your thoughts and with your trembling hands you wiped your tears a little and picked up your cell phone
-♠️ MyMissPoker ♥️: "Hey sweetheart, is everything okay?.."-Mel sent you the first message many minutes ago, but when you started to remind everything that had happened over the years, you had forgotten to answer her and she got worried
-You: "no... I miss you, I need you here, I don't want you to be far away specially in a day like this" - You answered and she immediately called you, as soon as you answered she could hear your soft sobs
-"Baby, what happened?" - The redhead asked very worriedly-"I'm here, why are you crying? Are you having second thoughts? Did I do something wrong?"-You sighed trying to calm your crying and be able to answer
-"you are perfect, but I need you, I need you to feel you close" - You whispered in a weak voice
-"I'll go there right now, I'm just a few blocks away and I'm mostly ready, wait for me" - Mel answered and you heard her take her keys and her sister screamed in the background for her to come back
-"But it's bad luck to see each other before the wedding" - You whispered
-"It's also bad luck that one of the brides is crying of sadness in their special day... Besides, we have been apart too much time already, God will understand..."-she joked and you sobbed and laughed at the same time
-"Your sister will kill you" - You whispered laughing when you heard the screams
-"We will figure something out, wait for me, I'm coming. I love you"-She responded quickly, and you heard her sister get in the car with her
-"I love you more" - You answered and waited for her to arrive. After a few minutes you felt a soft knock on the door and then Mel's sister came in with a blindfold for your eyes and another for the redhead, so you and Mel could be together without seeing each other and without the bad luck.
Seconds after putting on the blindfold you felt how arms hugged your waist, you immediately hugged her again hiding in her neck letting out a sigh that you didn't know you were holding. You could tell she was almost ready because her dress was pressed against you and her hair was up. You finally felt safe again
-"Thank you for coming...I missed you" - You whispered and held her tighter hiding as much as possible in the crook of her neck
-"I missed you too... For a second I got scared that you were having second thoughts... I love you so much, I'm sure you are gorgeous right now" - The redhead kissed your forehead and held you until you calmed down completely, even though you couldn't see her, she was filling all your senses and that was all you need it to feel better. After a few minutes she kissed you forehead again-"Ready?" - She asked and you nodded while still hugging her
-"Ready...I can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together" - You whispered kissing her
-"I'll waiting for you" - She answered and you let her go to finish arranging the last details to be perfect on your most special day, your wedding and the beginning of a live together.
102 notes · View notes
emsgwenstan · 9 months ago
Text
Personal or professional?
Larissa Weems x fem(carpenter/joiner) named reader
Chap 5| chap 6| chap 7
Tumblr media
Words: 3k
Warnings: insecurity’s, swearing.
Note: another fill in chapter… this gif☝️is the look she gives Violet about the door lol.
Well it’s official, It’s the 12th of December and my dreaded birthday, another year of being alive, I guess I should be grateful but only 2 hours until I can go home and sleep! Jesus I really am getting old. I do wish I could see Larissa today but I don’t want to disturb her, we have been texting since that day which was three days ago now, I drove her home that night and the next morning she sent me a message saying good morning and I thought that was really sweet, but this morning she hadn’t said anything, I don’t need to read into it though, I just hope I haven’t done anything wrong. My phone started to ring in my pocket and just when I thought it was her I was wrong.
*Louise*
“Happy birthday vi!” She yelled.
“Thanks Lou.” I said chuckling.
“Happy birthday vi.” I heard jades sultry voice say on the other line.
“Oh yeah jays here too.” Louise said.
“Wanna wish auntie vi happy birthday?” She added.
“Happy birthday auntie violet!” Lou’s daughter lily shouted.
“Aww thanks guys, how is everyone?” I asked.
“Yeah we’re all pretty good, how are you though? You’ve been pretty quiet… perhaps finally found someone?” Louise said teasingly.
My face burned, how am I supposed to say yes I’ve met and fallen in love with someone, we’ve had sex and yet we’re still in a what do they call it now? situationship? Friends with benefits? Let alone it being with a woman- not that they’d be very surprised.
“I have been getting out more and no I’m not with anyone.” I said.
“Let’s hope you find someone vi we don’t want you to be alone forever.” Jade said in a sing song voice.
“Shut the fuck up, says you your a hoe, a serial seducer.” I laughed.
“Ok lily go to your room for a minute.” Lou said.
“Oh my god sorry!” I said.
“Aunt of the year award goes to Violet.” Jade said mockingly.
“Agh, anyway guess what?” I asked.
“What?.” “Mhm?” From the both of them.
“I’ll see you guys at dads this year.” I said.
“What! You’re actually gonna show up!?” Louise said.
“Yeah but I’m not gonna be alone, I’m bringing my… friend Larissa.” I said awkwardly.
“Ooooo Larissa.” They said in unison. I could just imagine them looking at each other knowingly.
“Please… anyway I’ll be there for a week then I’m going to see my mum.” I stated.
“We haven’t seen you for ages, oh and by the way dad has been such a dick lately, all he talks about is fucking golf.” Jade said.
“When isn’t he a dick, and that doesn’t surprise me, I’m not going for him though I’m coming to see you guys.” I spoke.
“Yeah well we will be there for like 9 days I think, we really need to go out all together again, I know I need to get hammered.” Louise said laughing.
“Agreed I know just the place.” I said.
“We know.” They both said giggling.
“Ok well I’m at work so I need to go but I’ll see you guys then ok?” I said.
“Alright we love you sis.” Lou said.
“Love you guys, tell lily and Lottie i love them to.” I said.
“Will do, bye.” She said.
“Bye.”
I went back to stacking lengths of timber in their designated racks and began to wrap up the rest of my stuff getting ready to come home.
Finally in the threshold of my house, I kicked off my boots and tore off my work clothes, it was so fucking hot I felt like I was suffocating. The heat was up so high last night because it was freezing and I forgot to turn it off this morning as well as having the fire going. Turning it off and keeping the fire going I went and jumped in the shower quickly to rinse off the sawdust and settle in for the night.
Hopping into bed I let my hair out of the tight ponytail it’s been in all day letting it fall over my pillow and just like that I passed out. It was only 6pm but I didn’t care it was much needed, although it wasn’t until a while later when I could feel my body slightly shaking that I awoke again. “Wake up darling.” A hushed voice spoke, I know that accent anywhere, why is she here? how is she here? I rolled over slightly with my eyes cracked open, Larissa was standing beside me with a hand delicately wrapped around my bicep.
“Good morning.” She teased. “What are you doing here? How did you get in here?” I asked sleepily. Larissa brought her hand to my face stroking my cheek lightly. “I did knock, but no answer. The door was unlocked, I should have rung you I’m sorry.” She said in haste. “No, no it’s fine you’re welcome you don’t even need to knock.” I said rubbing my eyes. Larissa smiled warmly. “Sit up for a moment I’ll be right back.” She said leaving the room. I’m still a little bit delirious wondering if this is even real or not, but the fact that I could feel her gave me every indication that it was. Slowly I sat up and realised I’m only wearing underwear, I clutched my duvet to my chest and sat cross legged against my head board.
Larissa waltzed back in with a large box in her hands, the sound of her heels clacking on the floor boards getting closer gave me more anticipation wondering what was going on. She perched herself on the edge of my bed and placed the huge box in my lap, it was a deep red with a crimson, satin bow on top. I looked at her with curiosity and a small smile. “Open it.” She said gesturing me to do so. Slowly I undid the ribbon and opened the box, I could smell it first, the large bouquet of red and dark red- almost black roses that lay on top. “Oh Larissa, these are beautiful.” I said plucking them out and smelling how heavenly they are. “How did you know these were my favourite… not just the flowers but the colours.” I asked jokingly. “I have my ways.” She said. I giggled at her and lay the roses next to me and continued to open the layers of tissue paper.
The next thing was clothing of some sort, pulling it up I gasped. “It’s beautiful.” I said astonished, the black dress was gorgeous, intricate black beads lined the off the shoulder cut out and strapped top, the thigh slit down the side and the cuffs of the sleeves. “Why did you get me this?” I asked incredulously. “Because you deserve it.” She said blatantly. “I’m afraid I don’t think it will fit.” I said solemnly. “It will, I promise.” She ensured moving the tissue further out of the way to indicate there’s more. Carefully I laid aside the dress as well and took out the next thing. A large black coat with fur around the hood, sleeves and bottom. My eyes lit up and I became speechless. Trying to catch a sneaky look at the tag, I didn’t find a price or size instead the words ‘Vivienne Westwood’ in scribed on it. “What the fuck.” I breathed, I looked at the dresses tag and the same thing was embedded.
“There’s more.” She said suggestively. I looked at her with wide eyes and put aside the coat. Underneath was a shoe box and another thing wrapped with tissue paper, I opened that first unraveling the fragile paper. My cheeks burned, when I came to relise it was lingerie, a set of scarlet red lace, a bra with matching panties. I admired them, running my fingertips along the intricacies of the material, I gave a shy and quiet thank you to Larissa and set them aside too. The last thing was the shoe box that made my breathing stop. ‘Cristian louboutin’ no fucking way.
Larissa could see my face at the sight of it, how much I was in shock and awe even without seeing what’s in it. I took off the lid and just about had a heart attack, slick black heels lay next to another adorning the familiar red bottoms. I turned to Larissa with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. “How- why…I. Larissa I’ve wanted these shoes since I was 17!” I screeched. She grinned and put her hand on my wrist. “Happy birthday darling.” She whispered sweetly. Again I melted. “Oh rissa, I don’t know if I can accept these.” I said softly. “Yes you can, I wanted to give you something to make you feel beautiful, and I know that black makes people feel slimmer- not that you need to of course! I just…-god, I thought I could help you feel better about yourself and show you how beautiful you are my sweet.” She said feeling horrible at how that sounded. “No I understand, it’s very thoughtful of you. Most of my clothes are black.” I said smiling.
“And I think red looks gorgeous on you too.” She said. I immediately remembered that I wore a red bra that day and that’s what she was pertaining to. Larissa was very close it was harder to not be under her piercing gaze, I put the box next to me and wrapped my arms around her neck, slowly I leaned in and hoped she wouldn’t pull away, I placed a chaste kiss to her lips grinning into it. “Thank you lovely.” I said into her ear still hugging her. “You’re very welcome.” She said pulling back. “Now I hope it’s ok with you but I made reservations for 8:00, so go get changed into these and we can go get dinner?” She said questionably. “You didn’t!” I said. She stood from the bed and reached for my hands to help me up, I stood and covered my stomach feeling a little self conscious again.
Larissa grasped my wrists, moved them away and looked in my eyes. “Don’t hide from me darling.” She said placing another kiss on my forehead. She turned on the spot and left me to get changed. In the bathroom I painted on some make up opting for dark eyeshadow and lipstick a few shades darker than Larissa’s, I curled my collarbone length blonde hair and put on my gold necklace with a ‘v’ initial and a few rings from the dish on the sink. I slipped on the red lingerie with a smirk and then the dress, for a moment my heart sank when the sip at the back wouldn’t go up, but turns out it was just caught on the material, it slid up my back with ease. I slipped on the shoes and couldn’t stop the excitement that spread through my body as I did so.
Looking in the mirror, I stared at myself, I hadn’t even realised I had a waist, the shoes are what I kept looking at and my calf muscles that sculpted due to the height. Larissa carefully opened my bedroom door and walked up behind me, I looked at her in the reflection giving a timid glance, she pressed herself to my back and gently put her head on my shoulder and moved her hands to meet around my front, her palms smoothed out the fabric and stopped at the swell of my stomach. “You look stunning.” She said kissing my temple. “Thank you.” I said. “Shall we go?” She asked. “Yeah.” I grabbed the coat and put it on.
Going past the kitchen and hallway I grab my keys from the dish. “What are you doing?” She asked. I dangled the keys giving her the hint I’m driving. “No, I’m driving.” She said plucking them out of my hand and putting them back down. Larissa walked out the door and I followed behind her, she stepped to the passenger side and opened the door for me, I giggled at her chivalry. She walked to the other side and sat in the drivers seat. “Ooo the woman knows how to drive stick.” I said as a joke. “Yes I do, something else we have in common.” She said turning on the car and reversing out of the drive way.
Once she went thought the gears, Larissa placed her hand on top of mine and curled her fingers into my palm, the butterflies in my stomach were alive and well at this point, not that they ever go away when I’m with her. When she down geard and sadly removed her hand from mine it must have meant we’re close, but when I saw the place my eyes just about bulged out of my head. Larissa killed the engine and stepped out, just as I open the door she glared at me through the windscreen, I laughed throwing my head back and closed the door again. She made it to the other side and reopened the door extending a hand to me.
I stepped out onto a gravel driveway and kept a hold of her hand. She closed the door and started to lead me in the direction of the restaurant. “Wait.” I said stopping. Holding her hand I took off my shoes and started walking again until we made it to cement and put them back on. I looked at her confused face. “I want to savour and look after these shoes.” I said. “Oh.” She chuckled, we made our way up the grand steps to the front door. This place was about ten minutes out of town and secluded by trees, the building was a tan colour and had pillars surrounding it, pot plans and ivy covered the exterior, a red carpet rolled down the stairs and the large double doors open wide with a ‘please wait to be seated’ sign on the wall outside of them.
Larissa glanced at me as a young woman greeted us. “Hello ladies, booking name?” She asked. “Weems.” Larissa said. “Yes, right this way.” She lead us into a massive dining hall, intimate tables with candles and silver alike, chandeliers vaulted from the ceiling, paintings, even live music with people playing violins and other sweet sounding instruments, a dance floor- for those who actually dance, it was beautiful and it felt right to be here experiencing this with Larissa, if I came here without her, she would be the one I’d tell this place about. “Here you go.” She sat us in a green velvet booth and placed two menus on the table then left.
“I didn’t even know this place existed.” I said. “Do you like it?” She asked shrugging off her cream coat, Larissa was wearing a plum coloured silk blouse and a matching cream pencil skirt, my breath hitched at the sight of her, somehow she seemed nervous, the woman who exudes power, authority and confidence is nervous, but then again I know its not the first time around me, but as if I do that to her, its probably just because she wants me to have a good night. “Absolutely, I really don’t deserve this-.” “Yes you do.” She said cutting me off. I took a deep breath and changed the subject. “Any idea what you feel like?” I asked. We both went through the menu together, decided on our choices and ordered.
Larissa and I were having a conversation about what we both did today when we were interrupted by a man who seemed to know her. “Larissa, I thought that was you.” He said. She looked up and let out a sharp exhale through her nose forcing a tight lipped smile. “Mr jones, lovely to see you.” She said speaking though here teeth. “Likewise, I don’t see you out of that school often.” He said. Larissa bit the insides of her cheeks quite literally refraining herself from spitting a very unkind insult his way. “Yes well Marcus, I do have a life.” She said bitterly, if looks could kill. His line of sight went to me. “And who is this?” He asked. If it were anyone else, She would have felt compelled to say ‘oh forgive me how rude I didn’t introduce you sooner’ instead she kept her back handed behaviour. “This is violet Hastings, my very good friend… now if you don’t mind we would like to enjoy our dinner.” Her voice sounding like venom. “Nice to meet you, I suppose I should get back to my wife.” He said awkwardly leaving.
The silence was killing me. “Ok what was that?” I asked chucking. Larissa let out a huff and turned to face me. “That was Marcus jones, a sleazy twit… also a board member.” She explained whilst simultaneously taking a sip of the wine the waitress brought over. “He did seem a bit smug.” I said sidding with her. “He’s an imbecile, all he does is make my job harder and tries to deny my advances for the schools funding and changes.” She said twisting the stem of the glass on the table. “Not to mention, every Thursday night he goes and screws his assistant, how cliche.” She rasped, throwing back the remaining wine in her glass. I raise my eyebrows in response. “I was a bit harsh wasn’t I?” She asked grasping my thigh under the table. “No, because if it were me id have been worse, you did a great job.” I said. Larissa laughed. A real laugh. It was loud and turned a few heads, but I didn’t care id love to hear it again and again and again. She covered her mouth with her fingers trying not to do it again. She never fails to make me weak.
The dim lighting made her look even more delectable then she already is and I found myself staring at her. “What?” She asked noticing. “Your just…ethereal? I don’t even know how you real.” I said lowly. “Stop it.” She giggled looking down. “I don’t think you know how pretty you are Larissa.” I spoke. “I could say the same about you vi.” She said tightening her grip on my thigh. The waitress brought over our food and left us to eat alone again. Once we were finished a flurry of people went to the dance floor with each of their partners. “Would you like to dance violet?” She leaned in to whisper. “Oh I don’t dance.” I said. “Please?” She pushed. Looking in her eyes I tilted my head, I can’t say no to her. “Sure.” I said reluctantly. Larissa took my hand and guided me to the floor.
On perfect queue the music started, the tune was familiar, experience I think it was. Everyone began to slowly sway to the music as if their bodies were one, Larissa held onto my waist and brought my hand to her shoulder, I placed my free hand in hers and began to dance. She was wonderful, so free and loose, Larissa let herself succumb to the music and I did the same, the stronger the tune the more contrived the movements, Larissa spun me about like they do in those ridiculous romcoms but Christ it felt like I was in one, her gaze never faulted, eyes piercing into my own as if the whole world disappeared. When the music went softer Larissa braced her arms around my torso and I joined my other hand to her vacant shoulder and let my head rest in the crook of her neck.
"May I cut in?" A voice said behind my shoulder, as I turned there standing was that same halfwit Marcus, asking me to dance. I looked to Larissa for help, she said nothing only looking down at her feet. "Um...I-." I began about to reject his offer. "Great!" He took my hand and I was dragged of with him, as a new song started I couldn't stop staring at Larissa, she stepped away sitting back at the table hardly watching what was going on, like the big ball of anger I am sometimes, I felt obliged to peruse my next move, as he was twisting me around like a monkey on steroids, I leaned back and stopped on his foot with my heel and elbowed him in the face. "Oh! my apologies I'm a horrible dancer.” I said with faux forgiveness. Immediately I ran back to Larissa.
"Why didn't you save me." I said sternly and out of breath. "You looked happy with him." She said fiddling with her fingers. "I beg your pardon? I’m sorry but if that's what I look like when I'm happy with someone then I must look insane when I'm with you." I expressed sitting down again. "Did you not just see what happened." I asked. "Yes, I must say it was a little entertaining." She said giving me a meek smile. "good. But why didn’t you do anything?” I asked. “I don’t know… I’m sorry I just thought-.” “It’s fine, I mean he had that coming.” I said. We sat together for a while and before I excused myself and went off to find the lavatory leaving Larissa at the table alone again.
*Larissa’s pov*
I’m so glad violet likes the gifts I gave her, she looks breathtaking, I feel deeply saddened that she doesn’t see herself through my eyes, but I do suppose no one sees their own beauty like others. I hope I didn’t take it to far when i gave her the lingerie, i just couldn’t help myself. Violet is an incredible woman, shes smart and witty, she’s kind and full of skills i could only dream to obtain, she makes me feel like I’m the only person in the room as if i were so interesting, a 48 year old who lives and breathes to work and is unbelievably stubborn, something else we have in common i think. I adore all the things about her she views as flaws but somethings telling me that there’s still more to her, but in time i hope to learn them all.
I feel so guilty I did nothing to stop that asshole from taking Violet away from me, I thought we had a special moment, I guess my own insecurities came to play, the last time I danced with somebody I was with mortica and that didn’t end well, why would it with her?
I observed her as she came back to the table, her legs are stunning and she can definitely walk in heels, i do find that people our height can do a good job in them if i do say so myself, I’m pleased that she insists on taking care of them, even if she didn’t id just buy her a new pair. Before she sat i offered to take her home, we had been here well over two hours and thought she would appreciate actually going home. “Sure.” She said. I stood and draped my own coat over my shoulders and placed my hand in the small of violets back to go and pay. As already anticipated she tried to debate on who was paying but in the midst of it i handed the poor waitress my card, the glare i received when violet heard the beep on the machine was endearing, she did look as though she could physically hurt me but i kept my laughter at bay.
Exiting the restaurant, violet stopped and moved her head to gaze at the stars above, it was very beautiful, no light pollution, no noise, just the stars, moon, violet and I, although i found my view much better than hers. The reflection in her eyes and the soft glow of the out side lights from the restaurant made her impossibly more beautiful, that doesn’t even sound like the right word, but it will do.
*violets pov*
The sky was extraordinary I haven’t seen it like this for a while, but my gaze was cut short when Larissa ushered me to the car and opened my door again. On the ride home I placed my hand in her lap playing with the material of her skirt, I was so relaxed that I eventually fell asleep, the soft hum of the radio and the smell of her perfume lulled me to dose off. Larissa opened my door and gently coaxed me awake and let me rest against her side as she walked us inside.
By the time we made it to my room I had woken up a bit more and turned to Larissa. “Are you ok?” I asked. “I’m fine.” She said. I took off my heels and placed them inside my robe out of the way, I saw her looking down at the floor as she sat on the edge of my bed. Trying to find a way to lighten the mood I reached for my small speaker and turned it on, flicking through my phone I found a song to play, set down my phone and pulled her to stand. Larissa looked at me confused wondering what’s going on, I placed her hands around my neck and I locked mine around her waist and pressed my body to hers.
I hummed along to the tune and swayed to the slow rhythm, Larissa rested her temple on my forehead and sighed. “I don’t dance for just anyone you know.” I whispered in her ear, I could see the small smile across her face. “Violet?… why are you doing this?” She asked still wrapped around me. “Because you deserve to know that you’re cared for to, because you’re special and you would do the same for me.” I said. Larissa was quiet after that, but she did grip me a little tighter and breathe a little deeper.
After the song stopped I paused it and started to get changed. Larissa offered to drag down my zip, I stepped out of my dress and picked it up hanging it neatly inside the wardrobe. Just as I was about to enter the ensuite to change Larissa’s voice rang through the air. “Wait!” She said. I turned on the spot and looked at her flickering eyes and ridged stance, I was silent waiting for her to continue. “I-I… was wondering if you could just… stay- in what you have on.” She mumbled. My eyes widened at her ask, my stomach riddled with butterflies.
Larissa’s gaze met mine and slowly she stepped out of her heels, removed her coat and pulled off her blouse and skirt, only left standing in her underwear. My gaze never left her, not once, I don’t recall I actually blinked to be frank. “Is it ok if I stay?” She asked. I paced back towards her and discarded the clothes I’m not going to be changing into on the floor, I took ahold of Larissa’s hand and threw back the covers of my bed and crawled in before her. I found a comfortable position on my side and laid out my right arm for her to rest her head on, to which she did.
There were no sounds, no interruptions, no one else but us- half naked and left in only undergarments, Larissa’s long limbs were intertwined with my own and the way she studied my face made blood rush to my cheeks, I did the same though- studied her that is, stroking her hair and tracing unknown shapes along her jaw and lips, especially over her scar. “What are you thinking?” I whispered, Larissa’s eyes fluttered to mine. “It’s silly.” She hummed softly. “Tell me? I’m sure it’s not.” I said back. “I’ve not been this… close to a normie before.” She expressed. I adjusted my head a little. “And what does that mean to you, is that a good thing or a bad thing?… are you saying that your view on me would change if I were?” I said sitting up a little. “No of course not i just mean, I haven’t been exposed to any normie that has been… well, like you.” She said sheepishly.
I sat mulling over the conversation, on one hand it’s disheartening to hear that she hasn’t been accepted due to the fact of being an outcast, and on the other I suppose she still hasn’t… “I know that was rather odd of me to bring up but it was just something that I had been thinking about, it’s nice to see that normies and outcasts can be civil.” She murmured. I felt a tinge of guilt gnaw in my stomach, just wait for the right time Violet. “No I get it, really, especially since you dedicate your life to ensuring your students feel accepted for who they are.” I said laying back down.
For a while it was quiet and peaceful, Larissa was the one who fell asleep first, but as I rolled over she slightly roused earning an almost incomprehensible statement. “Happy birthday Violet, my sweet sweet girl.” She left her head against the back of my shoulder and pulled me by the waist to rest against her front. “I love you Larissa.” I breathed but with no response I knew she had fallen asleep.
@lex13cm @im-a-carnivorous-plant @barbarasstar
@giogwensversion @sabraaabra
@readingtheentrails @readingtheentrails
87 notes · View notes
calaisreno · 1 year ago
Text
Letters
“You really have moved on, haven’t you?” His former landlady grins at him.
“Mrs Hudson—”
“Oh, I almost forgot. You’ve got some mail. I know, I might have sent it on to you, but I kept expecting you’d come by.” She holds out a small stack of mail. “Nothing very important looking. No bills.”
“It’s fine. You’re right. I should have called or stopped by after…” Flipping through the envelopes, he sees that it’s mostly junk, but there are three addressed in a familiar hand, narrow and angular, not particularly legible. “It’s fine.”
He says his goodbyes to Mrs Hudson, promises to come by again soon. 
Heading home on the bus, he studies the three envelopes. Each is addressed to Dr John H Watson, 221B Baker Street, London, NW1 6XE, UK. The first was postmarked somewhere in Nepal, April of 2012. The second bears a New Delhi postmark and is dated a year after the first, April of 2013. The final one is recent, just weeks earlier, mailed from Istanbul. He doesn’t open them. 
Closing his eyes, he tries not to think. 
I can tell you what you can do. You can stop being dead.
Mary’s not home when he arrives at their flat, and for some reason he’s relieved to be alone. He pours himself a drink, sits down, and looks at the first envelope. 
The envelope is just a normal envelope, somewhat squarer than a business letter. What’s inside feels like card stock. The other two envelopes are identical. 
When he’s satisfied that the outside has no more clues, he uses a knife to slit the top flap and slides the contents out. 
Happy Birthday. A bunch of multicoloured balloons. Inside: I’m sending this card / As I wanted to say / I hope you have / A truly amazing day.
Written below, by the same hand that addressed the envelope: I heard you.
He thinks about that birthday, over two years ago. He remembers coming home, finding Sherlock on the sofa, contemplating some problem. 
Before he can dwell on that memory, he opens the second. Another birthday card, this one with birds and flowers, the kind of card you’d buy for an acquaintance, not a relative or friend. Everything your heart desires / Is what I wish for you / Not only on your birthday / But throughout the whole year too!
Another handwritten message: I’m sorry I can’t be with you today. 
The final envelope was sent in early September. What’s inside is another card, a generic lighthouse scene, the moon over a calm sea. There is no verse, just a handwritten message: I’ll see you soon.
Taking a deep breath, he rubs the tears from his eyes. 
The note he leaves for Mary is a bit terse, maybe even cryptic. They were supposed to have dinner tonight, and he’d made reservations. He might cancel, but she was looking forward to it, so he just tells her to invite a friend. He passes the jewellery store, doesn’t stop inside to pick up the ring. 
Instead, he heads back to Baker Street. Hearing sounds in the flat above, he moves quietly up the stairs.
He’s standing at the window, looking out. From behind, he looks much the same. Thinner, perhaps. He might sense a presence behind him, and turns his head. When he sees who it is, he turns all the way towards the door, smiling. The dead-white tinge of his skin tells John that he hasn’t been leading a healthy life. And somehow, he found the time to mail John three birthday cards. 
Sherlock is silent, his eyes wide. John can’t think of a single thing to say. 
“I didn’t know,” John finally says, stepping towards him. “You must have had your reasons, but I wish…”
The grey eyes overflow. “John.” His voice is rough with emotion. “I’m so sorry.”
There must be no more distance between them, no more silence. Putting his arms around the thin ghost of his friend, he says, “Welcome back.”
663 Words / Flash Fiction
This is a sequel to the last two: Green and Burn. Less angst, more realisations. 💕
I'm not sure if anyone is still interested in doing this, but I plan to fill out the month. You can read the rest of my ficlets HERE.
If anyone wants to suggest a prompt/scenario, please do!
@raina-at @lisbeth-kk @meetinginsamarra @keirgreeneyes @totallysilvergirl @momma2boys @helloliriels @elwinglyre
Let me know if you wish to be un-tagged. Or tagged ;-)
120 notes · View notes
webslingingslasher · 1 year ago
Note
hey bestie! i need a piece of advice, help me please 😭
today is the birthday of the first boy I developed feelings for in my life, basically my first love, and I was thinking of sending a message wishing him a happy birthday. however, he's in a relationship, and... I don't know, I feel somewhat uncomfortable about sending it, but I really want to because it's important to me, yk? I have a lot of affection for him, even though we don't talk anymore...
do you think it would be weird? should I send it?
- a fucking anxious 🪸
when i was on the outs of my friendship with my best friend she didn't wish me a happy birthday. when her birthday came around i wasn't sure if i would send her a text or not.
but it was important to me. because while she didn't care, i did. this year i didn't send her one, and i don't think i'll ever get to send her one again. but i'm glad i was able to give her one last happy birthday.
i think there's nothing wrong with it. i wasn't doing it for a response, i was doing it because i wanted her to know i was thinking of her. and i'd think of her in all the years to come, even if we weren't speaking.
all i sent was 'happy birthday❤️' and funny enough, now i think of it, that was over a year ago and the last message i ever sent.
i think i ended it on a good note.
you can too. ❤️
1 note · View note
distilled-prose · 1 year ago
Text
Dear @cherokeeghostwriter
I have for years struggled with the same feeling of being taken for granted on Father's Day, and actually "taken for granted" may be too kind of a description. I think it's more like not being considered at all, not being worth the time to send a card in the mail, or even an email, a text. It has routinely made me quite despondent. I remind my children about Mother's Day, birthdays, Valentine's Day, etc., (when the boys were little I would take them shopping with me to get Mother's Day presents), but the children never extrapolated any of it to Father's Day. My wife never seemed to think to remind them of Father's Day (or if she did they ignored it). Not only did it leave me feeling un/under appreciated, it made me feel pretty much unloved. It's kind of embarrassing to admit, that a father would need that. Maybe it's us (current or former) poet fathers, but I think not. And heaven knows I don't need presents, don't need "things". A card with a few thoughtful words would mean the world to me. Because I was home this year, I did get a couple of shirts and a book of poems. The book I asked for. The shirts were a surprise. Cards were included. It was the most demonstrative Father's Day in probably ten years. But because the past many years were devoid of any expressions, it made me wonder whether the gifts and cards were heart felt or were they a result of a sense of obligation, a duty since I'd be seen in the week or two leading up to, or would be seen after, Father's Day. The only card-like note I have gotten in the past few years is from someone who didn't come by in person, @aliaspen , of these pages, who I don't even know at all. It was a shock the first year. It was equally shocking this year because I don't even routinely interact with that person. I don't know their name, their age, their gender, where they live, nothing. It's typical Tumblr anonymity. Our paths seldom cross, except on Father's Day when I get a message. I has always makes me smile. Anyway, for the past few years, I have had the presence of mind to pre-empt my disappointment regarding my own family. I send a Father's Day note to each of my children thanking them for making me a father. I tell them how proud of them I am, how proud I am to be their father. That typically takes most of the edge off for me, and allows me to appreciate the overall sense behind the recognition of the day. Last summer, when I was at the mine, even after sending them all a note, only my daughter sent me a "Happy Father's Day" email. So, I guess a man has to protect his psyche any way he can. I think we each have good children. But I think modern culture diminishes the concept that we as fathers need any affirmation. And here's another thought I've been playing with: Several years ago I read a book about an autistic child (although they never label her as such in the book). In the story, the grandmother has the habit of giving gifts to other people when it is her (the grandmother's) birthday. Since Father's Day seems to be particularly easy to dismiss, perhaps if I was to give each of my children a small gift, it would highlight the intention of the celebration. I'm sure your daughters would love a piece of your turquoise jewelry. They could wear it and tell people "My father gave this to me on Father's Day." It's the kind of juxtapositioning that might inspire other children to remember their fathers. I guess Fathers aren't expected to need much in the way of any kind of demonstrative love. Damn, if people only knew! But I know how much your daughters and your grand children mean to you. And though it's belated, you should know that you're a great father, and your family is lucky to have you. You're a good man, GGW. Keep the faith.
i haven’t a thing to say. haven’t had a thing to say, i should have said. not sure it’s helpful to share this, but i’m tired of looking at the empty space that once occupied this …space. i’ve plenty of nothing to share. oodles of it. like so much shipping popcorn/peanuts or whatever it’s called that spills out onto the floor whenever i open the occasional package, that occasionally comes in the mail. is mail an occasion?  i suppose it is at this point, considering that i am making/writing an entire post about absolutely nothing, and have taken you down a path with me, that leads to now -here. nowhere. if you’ve come this far you may as well know that i’m feeling a bit sad this morning. fathers day came and went without a call or text. sad is probably too strong a word, mildly disappointed. i’m mildly disappointed about a made up day that didn’t fulfill my desperate need to be loved by my own children. they’re grown and have lives, and children of their own. it’s a busy world out there.  well, the sun came out while i was doing -whatever this is. -call your father. he’s bored to death.
60 notes · View notes
horansqueen · 2 years ago
Text
Lost Without You - chapter 1
Tumblr media
Story Masterlist ❤
Tumblr media
NOTES  🎶
- written from both Niall and Oddie’s POVs - i don’t proofread, I never do, I hate it. - AU. Smut. Fluff. Comedy. (tw : cheating) - 3k - i accept requests and ideas for this story, so message me in my inbox! - if you want to be notified when this story is updated (or be taken off the update list) CLICK HERE
1.
Oddie
Have you ever been in love? The feeling that spreads inside you when you realize that the person you're in love with is also in love with you, is something that can not be defined with words. It's something you have to live with your own being, with your heart, with your soul, with your head. It invades you from the pit of your stomach to every single extremities of your body. It makes you euphoric in a way nothing else can, making you believe that anything is possible, and that you're the luckiest person in the world. It makes you think that every single day with this person will be as wonderful as the first.
It's a lie.
Of course, I think love is wonderful, don't get me wrong! But the older you get, the more you change, and you can't expect the person you love to still be the same person you fell in love with decades ago. You're different, too, and that's okay. For some people, it makes them stronger and for others it tears them apart. It's a 50/50 chance and if you don't win, then you have to decide what to do with the relationship you spent so long building. Should you hold on to it in hope it'll get better, or try to start over to get back that inexplicable feeling you used to feel, but this time with someone else?
"Hey, kiddo, are you okay?"
I got out of my thoughts and nodded quickly, taking a sip of my now cold coffee.
"No really, tell me what happened. I sort of thought this morning would have been fun."
Angela was my oldest friend and I loved her. We met in high school and she was pretty much the only friend I had left. Starting a family and getting married at a early age can do that to your friendships, sometimes.
"Oh you know, with Mack knocking at the door while we were doing the missionary, and the fact that Ryan was almost late for work, it was a pretty ordinary morning."
My friend took a sip of wine while staring at me, her eyebrows raised. "Fun." she finally said with sarcasm, putting her glass back on the counter. "That sounds like my last birthday morning, too."
Angela had a son that was a year older than my daughter and had been with her husband for a few years, too. Somehow, I felt like she was the only one who could understand me, even if not completely.
"Let me be brutally honest, Oddie." she added, licking her lips and sighing. "You don't seem much happy these days. In fact, you look depressed and you have for a few weeks now. How are things with Ryan? Do you still love him?"
"Yes, of course I do love him, I mean, he's my first love and, we're perfect for each other." I shrugged, trying to figure out if my words were true.
"Correction, darling : You used to be perfect for each other." she added, tilting her head. "That was over a decade ago, and you were both teenagers."
I wanted to argue with her about the love Ryan and I had for each other, because we did love each other, but instead, I grabbed my glass and took a sip of it. "Are you going to help me with the preparation of this damn party, Angie, or are you only here to convince me that my marriage is a failure?"
I sent her a small smile that she sent back before chuckling. "I just want you thinking outside of the box!" she explained, still smiling. "Think out of this relationship you have."
"It's more than a relationship, we're a family, Angie." I explained gently, getting up. "And my family is the most important thing in my life."
It was true. I was not ready to give up what I had for what I could have. The truth was, I had never loved anyone else but my boyfriend. Of course, a few times, I had met some interesting and pretty persons, but I always ended up comparing them to Ryan, and they never made the cut. To me, it was enough.
We prepared the cake and cooked food for an army. I hated cooking but I knew Ryan preferred it to a caterer and i wanted to make him happy. We decorated the living room and the kitchen, and finished with wrapping up a few gifts, putting them on the coffee table in the living room.
"Shoot, there's no wine anymore."
I glanced at my friend and let out a chuckle. "You drank the whole bottle already?"
"Don't judge me. It's the first day in weeks that I don't spend with my son." she argued. "Can't I have a little fun?"
"Just try not to be completely drunk before the guests arrive, will you?"
The first few guests got right on time, which is half an hour before my boyfriend got back home and then the doorbell never stopped ringing. I got a text message and quickly checked the name on the screen.
I had been communicating with a friend from his work that I had never met before so he would bring my boyfriend on time for his surprise. It was a guy he had spent all his university years with, that he graduated with, and that he now worked with after a year of two of not seeing him. I was pretty sure Ryan suspected I was doing something for him on his birthday, but it didn't matter, I knew he'd be happy tp spend the evening with his friends.
'We'll be there in 5 minutes! Can't wait to meet you for the first time!'
I smiled at my phone and sent him a thumb up and a smiley before putting my phone in my pocket and looking up, biting my bottom lip.
"Okay everyone, Ryan will be there in five minutes! Be ready to scream 'Happy Birthday'!"
It seemed like forever until the doorknob started moving and I felt my heart hit my chest hard when everyone shouted. My lips curled immediately and I started nibbling on my bottom lip.
"Oh my god, thanks everyone!"
I chuckled low, staring at my boyfriend, until someone moved next to him, appearing suddenly in my line of sight. The first thing I noticed was his smile, and the way his light blue eyes shined. He laughed, patting my boyfriend on the shoulder, and finally turned to me. Our eyes met and we smiled at each other. For some odd reason, we recognized each other without knowing who we were. Of course, I couldn't be sure if Ryan had showed him a picture of me or not, but it didn't matter. I watched them walk my way and took my eyes off of Niall with difficulty to look at my boyfriend.
"Thank you baby." he whispered, wrapping his arms around me as I tilted my chin up. "That makes me very happy." His lips pressed against mine and I felt his stubble scratch gently my chin.
"You know I love making you happy." I murmured back, kissing his lips against with a smile. "Go have fun with your friends."
He moved slightly away and sent me a smile before grabbing Niall by the sleeve, pulling him closer. "That's my friend Niall, I don't think you two ever met."
"No, but we sort of kept in touch for the past week or so." I admitted, making my boyfriend frown and Niall chuckle. I glanced at him and he looked down before looking back in my eyes. "I found him on your facebook and asked him to help bring you home on time."
Ryan's lips curled and he shook his head slightly. "You're amazing." Once again, he bent down and kissed me but this time, he made the kiss grow and it made my heart jump in my chest for a reason I ignored. "Okay, I'll go talk with people. Thanks again, babe."
I nodded, feeling his hand slip away from my waist and slowly turned to Niall. He passed his hand in his hair and I licked my lips, wondering how it would feel to do it myself. It was crazy. Like I said, I did find other people attractive in the decade I spent with Ryan, but with Niall, it felt different, or at least that's what I thought. Perhaps I would wake up tomorrow morning and roll my eyes at the feeling invading me at this moment, and somehow, I hoped that's what would happen. After all, I was taken, and he was my boyfriend's close friend.
"Thanks a lot for the help." I let out with a small smile, tilting my head slightly. I was a bit scared he'd come back too early."
"Or too late. The guy loves his work."
I laughed and nodded, licking my lips again. Perhaps it was a sign of nervousness, who knows.
"You can go meet people, I need to be a good hostess."
Niall
Ryan had a picture of him, his wife and his daughter on his desk, at work, which means I already knew what Oddie looked like. She was cute, nothing more, and I never really thought anything about it. Not only was she dating one of my oldest friends, she didn't really catch my eyes anyway. When she messaged me about Ryan's birthday, we started talking and I quickly understood why Ryan liked her so much.
I ended up thinking that hanging out with both of them would be fun, but then my eyes met hers. I had not expected her to affect me the way she did. It was like something special emanated from her only to reach me and confuse me in a way I never was. She was looking at Ryan with love in her eyes, and somehow, I wanted it too. I was not sure if I wanted her to look at me like that, or if I had just been single for way too long, but it did something to me that I couldn't explain.
I smiled and pushed my hands in my pockets when Ryan left us together but only a few seconds later, she left. My eyes followed her until she walked in the kitchen and I blinked a few times, licking my lips and looking around. I didn't know many people and it was not something that normally stopped me, but the only person I really wanted to get to know was Oddie.
I shrugged and made my way to the kitchen too, feeling suddenly a bit nervous. I didn't know if she wanted to be left alone, and I felt bad for intruding or imposing myself. I knocked gently and passed my head through the door frame. She turned around, her light brown hair moving around her head, and when she noticed me, her lips curled into a smile.
"I don't want to bother."
She shook her head slightly and closed her eyes for a second before they fluttered back open. "No don't worry, I could definitely use some company."
I walked slowly inside and pressed my lips together as she moved around the kitchen to put more food on plates.
"Can I help?"
"Oh, uhm," she glanced up at me. "Could you get the bottle of white wine in the fridge please?"
I nodded but held my breathe for a few seconds before taking a few steps closer. To reach the fridge, I would have to walk around the table and the isle, or squeeze through her and the counter. I chose the later and without thinking, I put my hands on her waist to hold her in place while I moved on the side to slide behind her.
The way her body responded to my touch made me swallow hard, or perhaps it was the way my body reacted, I was not sure.
"Sorry, I didn't want to-"
"No, no it's cool, no worries." she replied quickly, stammering slightly before sending me a shy smile.
I opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle before finding a glass and pouring some in it. I handed her the glass and she tilted her head before squinting as she stared at me.
"How did you know it was for me, and not just for the guests."
I shrugged, raising my eyebrows and still holding the glass up. "Lucky guess."
She waited a few more seconds but finally chuckled and took the glass from my hands before taking a long sip of it. I watched her, my lips curling more and more as she emptied her glass.
"Nervous?"
"Very, it's going to be a long evening."
"You don't like socializing?" I asked, putting the bottle on the counter and leaning against it.
"I do, I'm just not good at organizing things, and it stresses me a bit. I always feel like people need more things, or are just bored." she admitted, moving her shoulders up. "But Ryan is good at that, so hopefully he'll entertain his friends."
"And why didn't you opt for a sweet and loving evening only the two of you?"
Oddie breathed in and sighed before tilting her head again. "Ryan prefers evenings like this. Which, I believe, is something you enjoy too. Isn't it how you two met?"
I laughed and nodded. "It's true, we did. But I also enjoy a good evening at home, cuddling on the couch and watching a show."
Her eyes fluttered again and she pressed her lips together. "Yea, me too." She breathed in and shrugged again. "Okay enough chatting, I need to bring the food to my guests."
Something caught my eyes, moving behind her and I looked up only to see Ryan, putting his finger over his lips to tell me to keep quiet. For some reason, I felt like Oddie was not the type of girl who enjoyed being scared from behind but I kept my mouth shut.
Ryan quickly wrapped his arms around her and she jumped, letting out a short but high scream that made him laugh.
"Fuck! I hate when you do that!"
"I know," he replied with a smirk, bending down to kiss her neck. "That's why it's so funny."
I raised my nose up in a grimace but again, remained silent. Who was I to judge the dynamic of their relationship?
"So Niall, what do you think of my girlfriend?" my friend asked me, making me hold my breath.
I watched Oddie move forward to get out of his embrace and finally smiled. "She's cool."
I wanted to tell more but I was not sure why, and I also was not sure he wanted to hear it.
"Damn right she is." he agreed with a chuckle before moving his bottle up. "Beer?"
I nodded quickly as I noticed Oddie grabbing a few plates and walking past her boyfriend to go back to the living room. We followed her but when she moved to the right, I followed Ryan to the left, glancing at his girlfriend as she started talking with a few people.
I tried to put my complete attention back to Ryan and when he handed me a beer, I took it and thanked him. He started chatting about a few things and presented me to a few of his friends. After about an hour and a few beers, I had almost forgotten about the weird feeling Oddie had made me feel.
"I can't believe I'm leaving for a whole weekend." Ryan let out with a sigh after a while. "I mean I love my job, but I'm not sure about leaving my girlfriend and my daughter for two days."
"Why, are you gonna miss them?" I asked with an amused smile, raising my eyebrows.
"Probably, yea." he admitted, looking behind me, probably at his girlfriend. "I mean I've never spent more than a few hours away from them. Also, our boss asked for next weekend, and probably a few more in the next few months."
I didn't understand how you could miss someone after only two days but I didn't argue and took an other sip of my beer. It was getting late and I knew I should go home, I just didn't feel like it.
I ended up sitting on the couch with only a few guests left. Oddie was sitting right in front of me with Ryan's arm laying at her shoulders' level, on the back of the couch. I could see how tired she was. Her eyes were closing by themselves but she was trying really hard to stay awake anyway until she breathed in and shook her head slightly.
"I hope you guys can excuse me, but I'm very tired, I got up early this morning." she let out, catching everyone's attention. "I'm so sorry."
She said her good night to everyone and when she got closer to me, I quickly got up. She moved her chin up to look in my eyes and sent me a tired smile that made something stir in my stomach.
"Good night, Niall. Thank you for the help, I hope we can meet again soon."
"Of course, it was a pleasure to finally meeting you."
Her smile turned into a fond one and I bent down to kiss her cheeks gently. She put both her hands on my shoulders and I felt the warmth of her palm reach my skin through the fabric of my shirt. Without thinking, I put one of my hands on her waist and felt her tense a bit before relaxing suddenly.
"Take a cab, okay?" she whispered just as her cheek pressed against mine. "You drank too much to take your car."
I didn't argue, I just nodded and she did the same before walking past me to reach the stairs. After she disappeared, I breathed in deeply, realizing I had stopped, and turned to Ryan.
"Hey mate, I'm leaving, it was night spending that time with you."
41 notes · View notes
queenshelby · 3 years ago
Text
My Friend’s Father (Part Seven)
Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader
Warning: Age Gap, Smut
Words: 4,498
Notes:
I have decided to make this into a series.
Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.
*********
Throughout the entire night, you couldn’t help but think about Cillian. You dreamed about the kiss you shared, the touch of his hands on your face and even the scent of his skin.
You knew you shouldn’t think this way about your best friend’s father but it was something you couldn’t control even though you were angry with him.
But there was one person you who you were even more angry with and this was Connor, the man you were actually dating.
You got up early that morning to confront Connor about his behaviour at the art gallery opening and the truth was that you were pretty much done with him. You never had feelings for him in the first place and the truth was that he had simply become a distraction for you. You wanted to distract yourself from having taken a liking in your best friend’s father which, in itself, you knew was wrong.
Connor embarrassed you in front of your friends and Cillian was right when he said that he was acting controlling, even though you didn’t want to hear it, especially not from him.
You knew you had to end it and you knew that it wasn’t going to be a difficult task for you. You had always been a strong woman and you didn’t want to be with someone like that and, just when you arrived at Connor’s house you took a deep breath and did what had to be done.
‘It’s your loss Y/N’ were his words when you eventually left his house after a ten minute conversation but you didn’t feel like you had lost anything. In fact, you’ve gained something and that was experience in standing up for yourself.
***
Just after you encounter with Connor that morning, you went to have breakfast with Denise and her friends at the G Hotel in Galway.
They were all staying at the five-star hotel, courtesy of Denise’s father who had organised the weekend for Denise for her birthday and as a reward for her achievements after she had worked so hard on her project.
‘Happy Birthday’ you said as you greeted her and the others and Denise immediately told you off for being too loud as her head was pounding. It was obvious to you that she was rather hungover from the night the before.
‘You had too much champaign, huh?’ you giggled before handing her the present you had bought for her.
You usually didn’t spend much money on each other for birthdays but, since she was your best friend, you had spent a few hours’ worth in wages and gotten her something meaningful.
She was collecting vintage tea-cups and you had recently found a beautiful Royal Dalton set in a second-hand shop which you knew she would adore.
‘This is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much’ Denise said as she unwrapped it before hugging you gently.
‘You are welcome. I knew you would like it’ you said with a warm smile and, just as you did and sat down next to her, your mobile phone went off.
You received a text message from a number that was unfamiliar to you and when you opened it, you were none the wiser.
‘It was good to see you’ the message said and you were rather confused by it. You had some job interviews recently and wondered whether this was sent by one of the interviewers. Or perhaps someone from university, you wondered?
‘What is it?” Denise asked as she saw the look of confusion on your face when you glanced at your phone.
‘Someone just send me a message saying that it was good to see me’ you chuckled before explaining to her that you didn’t know the number.
‘Maybe it is this guy from university you were talking about a few weeks back? You know, the lecturer in the science department?’ Denise wondered before suggesting to you that you should text back and ask for a name, but you already knew it wouldn’t be him. There was no way he would have your number and you certainly were no longer interested in getting to know him after you had found out that he was married.
You texted back to the unknown number, enquiring who this was and, within a couple of seconds, your phone went off again and you almost choked on your coffee.
‘Cillian’ the message read and you quickly changed the angle of your phone so that Denise wouldn’t see it.
‘And? Who is it?’ she asked while trying to look at your phone.
‘Uhm…just a guy I met a few weeks ago…I ran into him again yesterday morning and I totally forgot about it…’ you stammered quickly but Denise didn’t buy a word you were saying.
‘You forgot?’ she giggled, winking at you as she did and your cheeks blushed almost instantly. ‘Well, he obviously didn’t and you must have given him your number for a reason. Is he hot? What’s he like? I need to know everything…’ she went on to say as, suddenly, without you haven’t sent anything back to Cillian, you received yet another text message from him.
‘For what its’s worth, you looked beautiful’ the next text read and you couldn’t help but smile as you continued to sip on your cup of coffee and Denise most certainly noticed the look on your face and asked you what he said.
‘Just that I looked nice’ you stammered, feeling awful about lying to her about who texted you but there was no way that you could have told her that it was, in fact, her father who you were texting with.
‘Uh, he likes you’ Denise then giggled before carrying on. ‘Well, since you ditched Connor now, you should go and meet up with him and have some fun. After Connor’s one-off ten-minute performance, I have no doubt that you really need it’ Denise said and, just as she did, the conversation across the breakfast table took a turn. Like so often, it now was all about sex and you realised that dissatisfaction was a common occurrence in women your age.
‘I believe that the whole talk about the female g-spot is load of rubbish. It’s a myth’ Amalie observed eventually after everyone across the table complained about the lovers that they had.
It was at this point that you mentally checked out from the conversation and, whilst you thought about the one pleasurable experience you had in your life when it came to sex, you certainly didn’t want to talk about it in front of Denise. Especially not Denise.
Instead of engaging in talks about vibrators and the male anatomy, you decided to respond to Cillian’s text messages after you had received yet another one, telling you that he was sorry. Clearly, he was desperate to hear from you.
‘I see, you kept my note?’ you responded quickly, ignoring his compliments and apologies, and, just moments after you sent it, you received a response from him.
‘Kept it in my wallet. Can we meet?’ Cillian asked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just before you received yet another message from him which read ‘BTW this is not a booty call. I just want to talk with you. Please.’
His message made you laugh but you agreed to meet him nonetheless.
‘I have an apartment at the Docks. Can you come there?’ Cillian asked in his next text message.  
‘Alright. How does 4 o’clock sound? Text me your address’ you texted back and it wasn’t long until Cillian sent you the address of his apartment.
‘And?’ Denise asked as she watched you text with the mysterious stranger and you simply blushed again and responded with a short and somewhat embarrassed ‘nothing’.
‘Oh common, tell me Y/N. I am your best friend’ she then said and you confirmed that you would quickly meet up with him this afternoon before Denise’s birthday dinner.
‘Oh la la, you are having a date’ Denise then said somewhat excitedly.
‘We are just catching up to talk Denise. It’s not a date’ you then said.
‘Sure…whatever you say Y/N’ she then said sarcastically which is when, finally, she backed off and you received yet another text message from Cillian.
‘Looking forward to see you, xx’ it read and your heart skipped a beat pretty much then and there.
***
After you went home to have a shower and get changed into some nice jeans and a black shirt as well as some nice lingerie (just in case) you made your way to Cillian’s apartment.
You parked around the corner and walked the rest of the way just to be sure that no one would see your car being parked there.
‘Jesus’ you said somewhat surprised when you walked into the lobby of the apartment building and took the elevator to the top floor after Cillian had buzzed you inside. You had never been to a building like this. It was luxurious and right on the harbour.
When you arrived on the top floor, Cillian already waited for you, glancing through the door of his apartment.
‘Wow, these are some good views. Do you own this place?’ you observed as you stepped inside and set your purse on the desk by the door.
‘Yeah, bought it a few years ago’ Cillian said as you began to shrug off your jacket, but Cillian came up from behind you, and caught your hands. You looked down at your hands, noticing that yours dwarfed in his. They were warm and soft.
‘Let me take this for you’ he said like a gentleman and you were somewhat surprised by his gesture. This was not something you were used to but you liked it, a lot.
‘You know, I didn’t expect that you would text me, especially not after last night. So, what is it that you want to talk about?’ you asked nervously and, just as you did, Cillian cut straight to the chase.
‘I wanted to tell you, in person, that I am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lectured you about this guy who you are seeing and the truth is that, yes, I was jealous and I know that I had no right to be jealous and for that I am also sorry. I should have acted differently, especially knowing that you are my daughter’s best friend’ he admitted just before you cut him off.
‘Well, for what its worth, I ended it with Connor this morning because I think you were right about him’ you said with a nervous smile, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.
‘I can’t say that I am not happy about that’ he said jokingly before continuing on. ‘But, regardless of this, I think that we need to talk about how we move forward from what happened between us for Denise’s sake’ he then said, causing you to nod.
‘Yeah’ you then said somewhat disappointed before building up your strength in order to say something else. ‘The thing is, Cillian, I know what I want. I just think that you don’t’ you said, cheeks blushing.
‘And what is that you want Y/N?’ Cillian asked curiously as if he didn’t already know the answer to his question.
‘You’ you then admitted and, just as you did, Cillian��s hands caressed your face and he pulled you close and kissed you yet again.
The kiss was slow and passionate and, unlike the night before, you allowed yourself to give into it until, eventually, your lips drifted apart.
‘Are you sure Y/N? Because, I am much older than you and you probably have better offers with more assurances that I simply cannot offer you’ Cillian then asked as he was standing directly in front of you and held you against his body.
‘The fact that you are older actually turns me on’ you admitted before pressing your lips onto his again and then pulling away. You adored his wrinkles and greying hair and you were surprised that he had no idea how attractive he actually was.
‘But what is it that you want Cillian?’ you then asked as you felt his firm chest against you while his warm breath fanned against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.
‘Honestly, I don’t know Y/N. I have never been so fucking confused in my life’ he explained reluctantly, not knowing where to place the feelings he had built for you. You were over twenty years younger than him and his daughter’s friend and this clearly bothered him. He knew that this wasn’t something he could easily overcome.
‘Well, I am confused too but I like you, a lot’ you admitted, also unsure about what this was that you were feeling for him but, what you knew was that you wanted to give whatever this was a chance. You were curious and you were filled with desire for this man standing there right in front of you.
‘And I need to know that you feel the same and that this isn’t going to be just another mistake you are making because, if you are going to walk away after we have sex, then I am not up for it’ you then explained, wanting to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away from you this time.
‘No more mistakes Y/N. I like you and I want this’ Cillian whispered as he pressed his lips firmly right under your ear, slowly kissing down your neck.
‘I want you’ he then said as his breath tickled your skin and the firmness of his kiss made your stomach flip.
‘Then that’s good enough for me’ you huffed out in a laboured breath and just, as you did, Cillian used his hands to spin you around, causing you to face away from him.
Then, his hands dropped to your waist where his fingers gently edged themselves under the hem of your shirt, barely touching your skin. His lips moved, and he left a trail of kisses down your shoulder and towards your arm.
‘I knew this was a booty call’ you teased as you couldn't help but move against him.
‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked as your hips rocked and shifted while he gently brushed his fingers against your skin.
‘Hell no’ you giggled before you lifted your arms and he began to pull your shirt up.
You felt like you were performing some secret dance that we both knew, but that you'd never realised you'd known.
Cillian lifted your shirt inch at a time up off you, and let it fall to the floor. He sighed in satisfaction as he looked down at your breasts.
‘Why are you so fucking perfect?’ Cillian asked and you opened your mouth to answer but it came out as a sigh as his hands tightened around your waist.
‘Let’s take this off’ Cillian said determined as one of his hands inched up towards your breast, and he squeezed it gently. Then, his hands came away from you, and unsnapped your bra.
You practically shook it off of you, and then dropped your hands to your jeans. You needed his hands back on you again as soon as possible and turned to watch him as you kicked your shoes off and shoved down your jeans, your underwear coming with them.
‘Eager, are we?’ Cillian chuckled as he quickly began to undress himself as well after you had given him a look full of hunger and anticipation.
‘We are short of time’ you said as you were momentarily distracted by the sight of him unbuttoning his shirt, but you hurried to kick off the fabric wrapped around your ankles.
‘We’ve got at least two and a half hours Y/N’ Cillian then said as you finally stood there in front of him completely naked.
‘Exactly’ you chuckled as Cillian was still fighting with the buttons on his shirt, and you grabbed the fabric of it and pulled him against you, crushing your mouth against his.
Cillian made love to your mouth with his lips and his tongue. He was firm, slow, and demanding.
You breathed together, tasted together. He dragged a soft moan from your mouth with a caress of his lips. He explored you, letting his tongue run along the roof of your mouth. Your teeth crashed. He sucked your tongue into his mouth, and your stomach clenched and you let out an embarrassingly desperate sound.
Before your first night with Cillian, you'd never been kissed like this. The kisses you shared were more intimate and more sensual than anything you'd ever experienced in your life.
As you were kissing, you finally managed to unbutton his shirt and shoved it open. Your hands ran up and down his chest, exploring his toned body all the while he was relentless in his kiss. His arms wrapped around you, one hand pressing into the small of your back, and the other working his fingers into your hair.
With a small tug of your hair, he pulled your face away from him.
‘I could kiss you all day Y/N, but you said that we are short of time so you better get onto the bed’ he winked and you snaked your arms around his neck and kissed him while he walked you back into his bedroom and towards the bed.
As you were moving towards the bed, he fought with his belt and his pants all while his lips never left yours.
You shuffled awkwardly backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed, forcing you to sit down. You kept your arms behind you to prop yourself up, smiling as you watched him finish undressing. He was just gorgeous and so goddamn perfect.
‘You are so sexy, you know that?’ you said full of desire while you watched as he pushed his pants down, kicking them off his ankles and standing in front of you completely naked, and... Sweet. Baby. Jesus…your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock.
‘So are you’ he winked and, just as he did, you met his eyes again after having stared at his cock for a little while. That terrifying intense stare was back, and he looked like he was going to eat you alive. For all you knew, he would.
Without breaking eye contact, Cillian bent down and went to his knees at the foot of the bed, grabbed your legs, and pulled you closer to him, spreading your legs wide as he did so.
‘Lay back’ he ordered and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in anticipation.
‘What are you going to do to me?’ you asked as he was still staring at you. A slow smile graced his face.
‘I am going to make love to you with my tongue until you cum’ Cillian smirked and the idea of his face between your legs made your breath catch.
‘Oh, Sweet Jesus’ you moaned as he let go of one of your legs and put a hand on your shoulder. He pushed you back and then he lowered his lips to you.
Sweet bliss washed over you in an instant. You gasped, and moaned, and shivered. Cillian lapped at you like you were the sweetest treasure he'd ever put in his mouth. A slow, deep rumble from his chest travelled straight into your body through his lips, shaking you to your core. His tongue dove inside you, exploring you. He sucked on the lips of your sex, and the circled his tongue around your clit, sending powerful shocks of pleasure straight to your centre.
He was building you up to something big. Something beautiful.
He eased off right before you exploded, and you cried out.
‘Cillian, don't stop, please’ you moaned and, just as you began to plead with him, his fingers began to gently run through your wet slit.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t’ he said as he slowly pushed two of his fingers inside you before his tongue resumed its work on your clit.
Curling his fingers slightly upwards, he reached an unfamiliar spot deep inside you and, as soon as he reached this spot, you cried out in pleasure.
‘Oh god, fuck, Cillian’ you moaned as his fingers began to gently thrust in and out of you while he made love to you with his tongue.
With his skilled tongue and fingers working you, it didn’t take you long to reach an orgasm. Your legs began to shake almost violently as a wave of pleasure erupted through your body and your walls tightened around Cillian’s fingers.
When you finally came down from your high, Cillian stood up, pushed his hands against your hips, and slid you farther onto the bed.
‘You sound so fucking sexy when you cum like this, without having to hold back’ Cillian observed as he climbed onto the bed. He crawled towards you like a wolf stalking his prey.
‘I want you inside me, please…I am aching for your cock’ you moaned, spurring him on and, without losing any time he spread your legs wide and pressed the head against your slit, gently working the tip in and out, teasing you.
‘Oh god, please, stop teasing’ you whimpered, trying to wiggle against him. You wanted to feel all of him so badly.
‘Be patient, we will get there’ he whispered, and leaned forward so his arms were on either side of your face.
You felt him push a little deeper into you.
‘Oh god yes’ you gasped and winced and Cillian tilted his head and took your mouth with his, kissing you slowly as he rocked in and out. His lips and his tongue matched the pace of his thrusts, and you felt overwhelmed with desire as he slid deeper and deeper inside of you.
‘Fuck you feel so good Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he stretched you and pushed you until he was all the way in, and he pulled his mouth away from yours just long enough to let out a string of curses before he took your mouth again.
You couldn't breathe. Everything about him was amazing. The way he felt inside you was just perfect.
He held your head firmly in place as he kissed you, thrusting into you and grinding his hips so that he hit every single spot you didn't even know you had. Right as you were nearing your climax, he pulled all the way out and pushed himself off of you, pausing to catch his breath.
‘No…don’t stop…I was so close’ you whimpered.
‘Don’t worry, I am not done with you yet but I do enjoy teasing you’ he gasped and you could tell that he enjoyed edging you which is something no other man you have been with had ever done to you before. Unlike them, Cillian had amazing self-control which you thought might come with age.
Almost an hour later, after he edged you numerous times and made you change positions on several occasions, you ended up with Cillian on top of you once again. He slid back inside you, resuming his relentless pace. With every thrust, he ground his pelvis against your clit, and with only a few careful movements of his hips, you exploded in pleasure around him. There was no way you could have held back any longer as waves of heat and ice crashed onto you, and you fought to breathe through the intensity of your orgasm.
‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned shortly thereafter, feeling your walls contract around his shaft. He collapsed forward onto you, and you could feel him pulsing inside you and filling you with rope after rope of his warm cum.
You loved the feeling of him cuming inside you and his breath was hot against your neck, and he kissed your neck and your mouth again as he pulled back and out of you, giving you a chance to breathe.
***
‘Cillian’ you whispered, barely able to speak even after five minutes had passed since you came down from your high.
‘Yes Beautiful?’ he said, and moved slightly so he could wrap his lips around your nipple. He sucked and tongued at it, and pulled at it with his teeth.
‘Careful’ you laughed, and shifted under him slightly. ‘I’m super sensitive now’ you said.
‘I certainly hope so’ he murmured. ‘Although, I am not done with you yet. We still have an hour before dinner’ he smirked and your eyes widened immediately.
‘Oh really?’ you asked surprised and, when you looked down on him, you noticed that his cock was already hardening again just after a short five minutes of relaxation.
‘Really’ Cillian then chuckled as he rolled you onto your stomach, spreading your legs and crouching behind you.
Without losing any time, he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed back inside of you, eliciting a loud groan.
After doing you from behind for what felt like forever, he'd hauled you up into his lap and made love to you with his arms around you and our foreheads pressed together. You'd watched his eyes widen and roll back in his head as he came inside you again just after you reached your own high as well.
He then kissed you as he slowly pulled out of you, and then carried you in his arms like a bride into the bathroom where he'd showered you, washed your hair and your body, and treated you to another mind-blowing orgasm with his fingers.
‘I am fucking sore Cillian’ you huffed out as you were standing in front of the mirror and retouched your make up with a white towel wrapped around your body. You had only limited supplies with you in your handbag but were somewhat lucky that Denise had kept a few items in one of the bathrooms in the three-bedroom apartment.
‘I am sorry’ he then said as he stepped behind you and applied some more aftershave before kissing your neck.
‘Are you?’ you asked, looking back at him before pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.
‘Not really’ he then smirked before buttoning up his shirt.
You knew that you couldn’t arrive at the dinner together and, after you got ready, you decided to walk to the restaurant first so that Cillian would allow you a ten-minute head start.
But walking was difficult in itself and Cillian had a slight chuckle when he watched you waddle out of his apartment.
Your core was stinging but it was defiantly worth it.
   Tag List:
@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders��@datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15  @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r  @tellingyouastory  @captivatedbycillianmurphy​  @namelesslosers​  @littlewhiterose​  @ttzamara​  @ttzamara @cilleveryone  ​
@peaky-cillian​
@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​  
259 notes · View notes
roadkill-frankenstein · 2 years ago
Text
Well, I did it. I got off my ass and did it. I hope people enjoy it :)
The Galar Region. A land of opportunity and adventure, with a sprawling Wild Area and a huge variety of Pokemon!
Harley is the younger sibling of the new champion, Ace, the one who beat the unbeatable. While they aren't looking to take over that role themselves, they want to be a strong, capable trainer too, and prove that anybody could be powerful.
When Professor Hop gifts them a lonely Slowpoke, they decided to take on the Gym Challenge and become the best trainer they could be. With the discovery of brand-new Pokemon, and the great journey ahead, surely a new page in the history books is about to be written!
However, things are not always as they seem. With the rise of Team Vengeance, a group set on reawakening an ancient evil, Harley's adventure is sent spiraling into havoc.
Will Harley be able to get to the center of the problem? Or will the very home he has known his whole life be taken away?
~
A fanmade sequel to Pokemon Sword and Shield, set 10 years in the future. Harley's gender is ambiguous, as is Ace's.
Contains brand-new fanmade Pokemon, a whole new story and characters, and more!
Concept art and other things can be found on my profile.
PLEASE NOTE THIS IS FAN CONTENT WRITTEN FOR FUN!!! IT FOLLOWS SOME PERSONAL HEADCANONS AND SHIPS YOU MAY NOT AGREE WITH!!!
~
Pokemon Victorious Sword and Triumphant Shield
Chapter 1 - Becoming a Legend
It was a nice morning in Postwick. Fluffy clouds blanketed the horizon in a soft orange glow, the cool weather perfect for bundling up in cozy blankets and forgetting about your problems.
That was what Harley planned to do, anyways.
They hugged the soft Pikachu plush they usually slept with close, relishing in the thought of simply staying in bed all day. Unfortunately for them, it didn't seem like that was going to be the case.
"Harley? Are you up?" Their mum called through the door, softly knocking. He could hear their Boltund whining, impatiently waiting to be allowed in.
"Yeah, mum. What's up?" Harley groaned as they sat up, setting their plush to the side and giving it a pat on the head. Their door creaked open, and a large Boltund (affectionately nicknamed Tot) immediately jumped onto their bed, slathering their face in doggy kisses that made their skin tingle with static. "Aah! Down, girl! I'm up, I'm up!"
Harley's mum laughed, entering the room and ruffling their hair.
"Good morning, Harley. And happy birthday!" She gave them a loving kiss on the forehead, and Harley remembered why they had found it so difficult to fall asleep last night.
"Oh, right!" Harley nearly knocked Tot off the bed scrambling up, shaking their hair from their face. "Is Ace gonna be here today?!"
"Mhmm. They called me just a few minutes ago, they'll be here by noon." Mum confirmed, setting her hands on her hips. "Why don't you get ready and pop down to the Lab? I'm sure Hop and Sonia will want to say happy birthday."
"Right, yeah! Thanks, mum!" Harley scrambled to grab their rotom phone, scrolling through their notifications. Birthday wishes from friends, a few other miscellaneous messages… and the one popup they had been looking for.
13th birthday!! First Pokemon!!
A reminder they had set for themselves a few years ago, ever since they saw their older sibling completely dominate Raihan in a battle that was memorialized as their greatest battle ever.
Harley didn't want to be champion - it sounded stressful. But they did want to become a Pokemon trainer, and battle their way through the Gym Challenge to prove that greatness ran in the family!
Mum left with Tot eagerly spinning at her side, closing the door behind her. Harley got dressed, shucking their pyjamas into their hamper and making sure their scally cap was straight, before throwing their knapsack over their shoulder and sprinting down the stairs.
"Bouf!" Tot barked as they hurried into the living room, shaking her favorite Skwovet toy back and forth. Harley adjusted the strap of their prosthetic finger before jogging to the door, tugging their shoes on.
"I'm heading out, mum! Be back soon!"
"Okay, be careful! Come back in time for breakfast!" Mum called from the kitchen. "Don't go wandering off again!"
"I know, mum!" And off Harley went, sprinting past the pair of budew that always hung out in their front garden and startling a few Butterfree into flight. Postwick was quaint, and everybody knew eachother - it just so happened that the Pokemon Lab was just down the road.
Harley was so excited they could barely think, nearly tripping over their untied shoelaces on several occasions. The lights inside the lab were on, visible through the sheer curtains, and Harley knew they recognized the silhouette of Dubwool. They knocked upon the wooden door, bouncing on the balls of their feet. He heard footsteps rapidly coming downstairs, the creak of floorboards, and-
"Well, if it isn't my favorite little bugger! Happy birthday!" Harley was greeted by the smiling face of Professor Hop, a man they considered to be an older brother. Hop's hair was a little messy, glasses sitting crooked on his face - he'd probably been up since dawn working. "I bet I know why you're here."
" 'Course you do, I told you!" Harley slid past him, immediately going to greet Hop's Dubwool. The Sheep Pokemon bleated happily, eagerly accepting the cheek rubs he so adored. "Are you keeping your promise?"
"Why wouldn't I, mate? I've got the gift I got you upstairs." Hop closed the door, combing his fingers through his hair to neaten it. "Let me go get it - I knew you were gonna be early, but not this early!"
"Where's Sonia?" Harley pried curiously as Hop disappeared in the loft.
"Down south in the tundra!" Hop replied, reorganizing his messy office to find what he had been looking for. "She's investigating rumors of a new Galarian subspecies."
"Cool." Harley returned their full attention to the Dubwool in front of them, allowing their hands to sink into the Pokemon's thick wool. They could hear the soft chirping of the rookidee outside, the sound of Hop's stifled swears as he dropped something. It was honestly quite lovely.
Hop came down the stairs a few minutes later, sliding down the railing and nearly falling over in the process. He had a nearly wrapped box tucked under his arm, and a glitter in his eye.
"Sonia and I went out and got this for you. Figured she'd be better 'bout this sort of thing, eh?" Hop grinned, setting the box down on the table beside Harley. "Go on, then."
Dubwool bleated with melodramatic sadness as Harley turned their attention away, trundling off to go chew on one of Sonia's well-kept potted plants. Harley wasted no time in opening the box, eager to see its contents.
There were several things inside, the first a compact book - the newest edition of the adventure guide, with a more convenient size for tucking into your bag. Another was a pack of Lumoise galettes, which were their favorite sweet and near impossible to get because of how popular they were, and beneath that was-
Harley gasped aloud, shaking hands extracting a PokeBall from the depths of the box. They looked up at Hop with wide eyes, who gave them a shrug in return.
"That ball is empty- but, before you get disappointed! I've got a few Pokemon just waiting to meet you!" Hop never got tired of this part, briskly making his way to the stairs to shout up at whoever (or whatever) was upstairs. "Come down, you lot! You've got some company!"
Instead of the usual three Pokemon he had been expecting, four came - well, it seemed like one was more coming down for food than anything else. A Scorbunny, a Grookey, and a Sobble all made their way down, all passing by the fourth without so much as a glance. It was a Slowpoke, one of the Galarian Variants - Harley could tell because of the yellow patch on its head.
The Sobble hid behind Hop's legs initially, peering curiously at Harley before approaching with curiosity. The Scorbunny and the Grookey, however, eagerly bounded toward them. The Grass-type hopped up onto their shoulder and eagerly shook its little stick around. The Fire-type bounded back and forth, chittering eagerly. But despite the three Pokemon who seemed much more excitable, Harley's attention was on the fourth.
The Galarian Slowpoke moved sluggishly down the stairs, eventually tumbling and landing at Hop's feet. But instead of getting up, it just sighed, laying on its back defeatedly until Hop picked it up.
"What's that one?" Harley asked curiously, wincing as the Grookey playfully thumped him on the head.
"Oh, her? She's, uh… she's a Slowpoke Ace found a few weeks ago. Some utter piece of rubbish has been going about hacking off Slowpoke tails, probably to sell the lot. Most of the time their tails grow back, though, but hers… hasn't. She's been down since." Hop grumbled something under his breath, presumably something foul that he didn't want Harley to hear. "Been looking after her, but she's not shown any progress. Most of the other Pokemon here don't get along with her, either. My guess is she's lonely."
Harley frowned deeply, looking at the PokeBall in their hand. If there was one thing Ace had taught them, it was to be kind to everyone, both people and Pokemon, and to help those in need.
"Hey, um, Professor." Harley looked up, gently picking the Grookey up and setting it on the table. "Do I have to pick one of these three?" Hop cocked his head to the side.
"Well… there's no written rule that you do." The professor shrugged.
"Could I take the Slowpoke with me?" Harley started, quickly continuing before he was stopped. "She just seems lonely, maybe if- maybe if she got out and got to explore, she'd pick up, yeah?" They stood up, eagerly fidgeting with the PokeBall.
Hop considered what they said for a long moment, before laughing. Harley's heart sunk, and they guessed it was obvious on their face because Hop immediately stopped.
"No, no, I'm not making fun of you, mate! You just reminded me of Ace, is all. Guess I know how Lee felt looking at us back then." Hop shook his head. "If you wanted to take her, then I wouldn't stop you. But… you'd have to let her make the decision to leave."
Harley hesitated before bobbing their head in agreement, carefully maneuvering around the Scorbunny and the Sobble before crouching down. Hop set the Slowpoke back down on the floor - the dopey Pokemon stared up at Harley with a mournful gaze, and up close they could see the bandages wrapped around her stumpy tail. It made them angry to think about some bloke running about selling slowpoke tails, even if it didn't necessarily bother them most of the time.
"Hey, there." They said gently, extending a hand to the Pokemon. She briefly lifted her head to sniff, before settling back down. "I… I know you're sad about your tail not coming back. But- but look!" They turned their palm over to show off something that had always bugged them, even since they were young - their missing thumb and pointer finger. They'd been born with it, and it was nobody's fault that it happened… but it still bugged them. They were lucky to have a good prosthetic to aid them. "See? We're kinda the same, y'know. Missing something that others have."
The Slowpoke looked down at their hand, and back up at them again.
"Maybe we can go on an adventure together. We can prove that you, y'know, don't need to be- be like everyone else to be strong. You don't have to if you don't want to, of course, but I think it would… be nice…" Harley trailed off as the Slowpoke moved closer to him, gently nudging her head into his hand.
"Poooooke." She vocalized, happily rubbing against him.
"Is that a yes?" Harley could barely contain their excitement. They offered the PokeBall to the Slowpoke, who pressed her snout against the button without hesitation.
Beep…
Ding!
Harley looked up at Hop, who beamed at them with a brightness they'd never seen before.
"Look at you, mate! A right Slowpoke whisperer!" Hop patted their shoulder as they got up. "I'll make sure to pack some of the medicines she'll need in your bag - why don't you go home, show her to your mum?"
"I will! Thanks so much, Professor!" Harley dropped their bag on the stool by the door, hastily throwing the book and the bag of galettes inside. "I promise I'll take good care of Pippa!"
"Pippa, eh? Good name for her." Hop chortled. "Watch out for the wooloo!" He warned, but they were already out the door, running down the path to get home. The professor sighed, gently shaking his head as he scooped the Scorbunny into his arms. "Sheesh, you'd think it was the end of the world!"
It was Harley's 13th birthday, later than most kids would get their first Pokemon. But it had finally happened, which made it the best day of their life. Things could only go up from here!
...
Right?
7 notes · View notes
lovesgonnabe · 3 years ago
Text
Love Is Worth It Episode V - We Got The Pandemic Blues Under a New York City Skyline
Tumblr media
Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)
Warnings: straight fluff, cursing, implied smut.
Word Count: 3485
Summary: What happens in NYC stays in NYC!
AN: The NYC Skyline prompt is by @iguessweallcrazyithinktho thank you so much for letting me use your theme I hope I did it justice. If you haven't read any of her stuff what are you doing get on it!
Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jumps and things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.
Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist message me.
Please leave a note and tell me what you think!
Tumblr media
June 13th, 2020
Being with Chris had its many perks but not working was definitely one Maya never wanted to take advantage of.
When Chris first brought it up when they got engaged she looked at him like he had two heads and said “I worked to hard put myself through school to get these expensive ass letters behind my name to just stay my ass at home” and that was the last time they had that conversation.
But fast forward to 2020 If you told Maya that she would have to close both of her dermatology offices in the middle of award season a few months ago she would have laughed at you.
She just couldn’t see herself not working because she loved what she does, but with both New York and Boston putting in place stay at home orders there’s nothing she could do.
It didn't help that it was only Maya in Boston dealing with work and all that entails, Delilah's up in the air school situation, and a whole hoax of things while Chris was in L A being as supportive of a husband and father as he could be on the other side of the country.
At least Dodger was being pretty normal.
Thanks to Chris's family for being so helpful where they could because for a minute Maya felt like she was beginning to drown.
This saga starts with the beginning of the pandemic.
January was chill there were whispers that there was a deadly pandemic on the horizon but no one took it seriously.
February Chris had left at the beginning of the month to LA to promote his new show Defending Jacob and it wasn't like anything out of the ordinary the couple worked, and called each other daily.
Chris told her he'd have to be there through March but would be home in time for Maya's birthday in April.
Her lawsuit against Boston PD was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount that was donated to charity and trust me that lawsuit cost them a pretty penny because Chris was threatening to go to the press and Boston PD did not need anymore negative press.
After finding out that the older officer already had many reports against him for abuse of power he was "let go" by Boston PD and the other officer was demoted to desk duty and sent Maya an apology letter for his actions
She thinks he only did it because her husband is Chris Evans but she tries not to be a cynic.
In mid March with her offices were forced to close and the lives of her twenty employees were in her hands, but sin there was no money coming in she had to regrettably furlough all of them until she could open back up.
This news could come at a worse time because Lilah's school was trying to transition them to online learning for the rest of the year.
So Maya now had to also be her home school teacher for the last 2 months before summer vacation .
Maya does feel blessed because she was still able to teach some derm online classes through NYU, and her family was healthy but Chris still wasn't home.
Because of travel restrictions in LA on April 1st Maya found out that the earliest Chris could be home was in possibly July or Mid June if they are lucky because he need to start filming for Grey Man that was set in Boston.
Then rumors started to swirl that Chris could be cheating on Maya but
She doesn't play that and isn't a dummy
Chris isn't stupid and
He's been in their home in LA quarenting with his brother Scott the whole time so if some foul shit did happen she would be the first one to know and on the first jet smoking to beat some ass.
But hey when it rains it pours.
In interviews Chris would say he was "quartining with his family at home in Boston."
They would try to make the spaces look just like Chris and Maya's homebase in Boston even going as far as strategically moving photos of them in the background to make it look like his office at home.
And it actually work most people thought Chris was in Boston anyways and it was all gossip the others thought he went back home to clean up this mess.
But nope Chris was not in Boston he was 2,764 miles away and this time it all just felt different and he hated not being able to be there with them during this crazy uncertain time and Maya just needed a vacation.
In April Maya and Delilah just had dinner at the house for her birthday they facetimed Chris and once Liliah had gone to bed Chris and Maya had sexytime over the phone.
The rest of the month Maya just went with the flow and did the same through June.
Now we are all caught up and in the present day.
It's Chris's 39th birthday but he was still in LA.
Maya stayed up to call him at midnight in LA because that was their tradition but now it was about 12pm and Chris has not picked up any of her phone calls Maya was annoyed.
Maya and Delilah sat in the Den as Maya was detangling Delilah's freshly washed hair getting ready to put her curly hair into braids as Mulan played on the tv in front of them.
"Mommy can I call dad it's his birthday and I haven't got to talk to him today. Lilah says playing with Maya's phone.
"Go ahead sweetheart maybe you'll have better luck them me." said Maya as she sectioned Lilah's hair.
As the facetime ringtone went Dodger who was laying in his dog bed next to Lilah began to bark and then he ran for the front door Maya looked that way but didn't see anything since the alarm didn't go off either which she found strange.
She shrugged it off only for a second until she heard a bag hit the ground as she quickly stood up the only thought in her head was to protect Delilah helping her to hide under the couch.
As the person entered their den Dodger continued to bark and she grabbed a pair hair scissors about to attack the intruder until she saw his face and exhaled the breath she didn't even know she was holding.
"CHRIS you scared the shit out of me" she said before he could say anything.
He laughed "Baby I didn't mean to scare you" Chris said
Lilah screamed and crawled from under the couch.
"daddy, daddy, daddy I missed you and Happy Birthday." Lilah said running into Chris's arm.
"I missed you to babycakes you been taking care of mommy for me" Chris said holding Lilah and walking towards a still shocked Maya.
He kissed Maya's forehead trying to pull her into a hug but she rolled her eyes and pushed his hand away.
"Chris i thought you weren't coming home till July" Maya asked
Chris shrugged "plans change now are you gonna come and give daddy a kiss you what"
He said flopping on the couch with Lilah on his lap.
Mays sucked her teeth peeked his lips and told Lilah to come so she could finish her hair.
Her saltiness cause Chris to laugh as Lilah moved over to her mom.
They were sitting on the same couch so Chris bent over and began to whisper in her ear. "Stop acting like that baby I wanted to surprise you"
Maya gave minimal response and Chris didn't like that so then he brought heat.
When he walked Maya had on a beige short set the top was fairly tin and the shorts barely covered her ass, he could see her nipples stand at attention on her delicious breast when walked.
It's been 3 months since he's had sex with his wife and boy can he feel it. He gave her tigh a firm squeeze now pecking her spot behind her ear forcing Maya to stop mid greasing Lilah's scalp to take a deep breath.
"if you stop acting up tonight I'll do that thing with my tongue that you like if not daddy won't be letting you cum at all tonight.
Chris said moving his body back to his original position smirking at his shooken up wife whose attitude did a 180 quick, fast and in a hurry.
Chris was no home and with his girls and he couldn’t be any happier.
After braiding Delilah's hair Maya went and they dropped her off at Chris’s moms which was a fight in itself because she wanted to stay with her daddy but Maya had other plans.
The original plan was to take Chris out of the country for his birthday but plans change.
Before Chris showed up today Maya had nothing planned for Chris's birthday because he was not suppose to be home they were just going to the same thing they did for her birthday.
On there way back home my had an idea with there hands intertwined Maya began to speak.
“So birthday boy what do you want to do for your birthday” Maya asked
“You know I don’t care as long as I’m with you my love” Chris said kissing her hand.
Maya giggled “Well we’ve dropped Dede at your moms and Scott said he could take Dodger”
She states looking at the puppy through the rear view mirror as Chris began to rub is thumb over her knuckles.
“It seems you already have a plan for us babe” he smirks
“I know you are just getting home but how about we drop Dodger off and I was thinking maybe drive to New York, I need to get out of Boston and have a bit of a staycation”. She said.
Chris chuckled and looked at Maya as the stopped at the red light.
“Wherever you lead I’ll follow. He said
“You are so corny old man” Maya laughed as she leaned over and peek his sweet lips.
They continued their drive to Scotts and talked enjoying eachothers company for the first time in a while, they were so wrapped up in each other that Dodger had to bark to remind Chris he was about to pass Scoots house .
Maya laughed at the puppy then pet him telling him how good of a dog he is.
“Alright birthday boy Scott has Dodger now let's switch its my turn to drive you around” She said.
They headed home to pick up a few things and then The Evans were off and headed for there trip.
After the 3 and 1/2 hour drive they got to New York and the barren streets shocked them.
They are staying in there penthouse apartment on the upper east side that over looks Central Park and New York's famous skyline.
Before settling in Maya decided to get groceries once she got back Jazz played softly in her ears as the punchy aroma of the candle Slow Burn hit her nose.
“Hey Chris I'm back” she called out to him.
She was met without a response just the smooth stylings of Frank Sinatra.
Maya put the groceries in the kitchen and headed to their master bedroom.
Kicking her shoes off and following the rose petals into the bathroom that revealed Chris who sat in all his glory in the pink tinted bathtub.
Apparently he did not hear her as his eyes stayed closed and his arms outstretched.
And all Maya could do was admire the greek god that was her husband.
His long wingspan encompassed the entire back of the tub as his strong biceps would flex ever deep breath he took. And don't to get Maya started on those baby blues which were one of the only things Lilah did not get from Chris. Those same blue eyes were now looking straight at her.
“I was hoping you’d be back soon” he said
Raising his head to look at his goddess of a wife smirking at him.
“So I’m guessing you would like me to join you?” She asked
Maya teased him as she began to slowly remove her clothes.
“Hey aren’t I the birthday boy that shouldn’t even be a question Maya so you better bring your sexy ass in here” Chris said to her as his arms still laid on the back of the tub looking like a king”
Maya stepped in with Chris’s help the warm water encapsulating her body as she sinks down.
She sighs in satisfaction when her body is finally completely in the water as she lays into Chris’s embrace.
They just sit there and enjoy each other company, washing the dirt off of each other from the day, and stealing kisses from one another.
Maya and Chris were that couple you loved to hate they didn’t show off their love that much with Chris’s anxiety and Maya’s destain for public scrutiny because she’s black woman with a man of Chris stature, PDA was mostly off the table. However behind closed doors they are the cutest most intimate couple you’d ever meet.
Once she was clean from her road dirt Maya left the water first placing a kiss on Chris’s lips as she headed to start dinner and Chris laid back and continued to relax.
Once Chris finally got out the bath he found Maya in the kitchen halfway finished with dinner.
“Jesus babe it smells fantastic in here and I see you changed the music” Chris said
He was now fully dressed in a blue t-shit in matching joggers, his hair damp from the bath as Lauryn Hill's rendition of Can't Take My Eyes off of You played in the background.
She chuckled “only the best for you my king”
"Mhm I like the sound of that" He said as he went in the fridge and grabbed a bottle of white wine and poured them both a glass.
She was at the counter cutting up veggies.
“Ok so how long do I have wait before I can devour all this?” he asked placing the glass in front of Maya.
They took their first cheers of the night tapping the glasses together.
Maya took a sip and moan at the taste of the wine.
“Soon Chris don’t stress it babe you will be fed very soon” she said.
Her hips began to sway to the music as she hummed along.
At long last, love has arrived, and I thank God I'm alive
Chris walked up behind her wrapping her arms around waist swaying with her body and catching the rhythm.
You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you
Moving her hair to her left shoulder Chris begins to kiss her neck.
"Remember when we first bought this place." Chris asked
"Yes you didn't want to you said my place in Brooklyn was enough for us" Maya said putting the knife down and melted into Chris's strong arms.
"Mmm but you did an excellent job at convincing me why we need this place, 3 bedrooms right in the Heart of the city just for times likes these when want to get away." Chris said with his arms still wrapped around her.
She laughed "I thought it was because you fucked me against the balcony on our terrace is why you said yes"
He smirked at the memory "well that to"
Chris sucked on her neck and moved his down her satin dress but the timer on the pot decided to be a cock block and go off before he could make a move.
He groaned and Maya laughed directed him to get ready to eat.
Just as the food was finishing up Chris set the dining table for two, taking the rest of the flowers from his bath laying them out between the kitchen and there Terrence where they were having dinner overlooking the city.
Tumblr media
It was a beautiful night. There was a soft breeze and the city was a glow quieter that usual but still a sight to behold.
Maya brought out the food as Chris poured them another glass, they both sat prayed then rose their glasses to cheers again.
During dinner Chris made some corny jokes that always seemed to put Maya in a better mood as Maya would slyly rub her foot up Chris’s pant leg.
Next came dessert still out on the terrace they shared a slice of cake (more like Maya fed Chris cake) which is how she ended up in his lap enjoying the very expensive yet immaculate view they had from their home.
He rubbed her thigh as he kisses her shoulder just thinking of the fastest way to get Maya out of her dress.
"god you are beautiful" Chris said
His hand now playing with the trim of her panties under her strappy white satin dress.
"Oh no birthday boy you not fucking me out here tonight you gotta come inside for your last present" Maya said.
Chris groaned Maya got up seductively waking back inside her curves just begging him to follow her
“This woman Is going to be the death of me” Chris thought as he came back inside and closed the door that lead to the terrace.
Maya handed Chris his third and final glass of wine of the night.
He raised an eyebrow "Are you trying to get me drunk Mrs. Evans so you can have your way with me?" he asked.
Taking a sip from his glass he smacked Maya the ass and watched it move as she walked towards their living room.
She laughed "I wouldn't have to get you drunk to have my way with you Mr. Evans"
Their living room had floor to ceiling windows that overlook Chris's second favorite city, and that's where Maya stood wine glass in hand looking all the people that looked like ants. But all Chris could think about was how this woman fell for him.
She watched the scenery and he watched her but when that signature trumpet blew he remembered that the music was still playing and so did she.
Maya turned around to see Chris was watching her one hand in his pocket and the other still holding his wine, she made a face at him.
"What are you looking at me like that Chris, you ok?” she asked hand on her hip taking another drink from her glass.
The moon shined off her skin like she was in the sun, her white dress reminding him of their wedding day the way it hugged her figure.
Still speechless Chris walked up to her placing both of their glasses on the coffee table, he brushed her hair behind her ear and she moans nuzzling her head in his touch.
"Baby I am absolutely perfect because I am here with you" he says.
Chris softly pulls her by the waist bringing her flush against her body as raspy voice of Louis Armstrong in Le Vie En Rose brought butterfly’s to Maya’s stomach because this was their song.
His hands lay softly on her waist as her arms lay around his shoulder as they dancer slowly around there living room.
Hold me close and hold me fast, The magic spell you cast, this is la vie en rose.
His cologne sent waves of pleasure and warmth through her body, when Maya laid her head on his chest not wanting to let him go. As their heartbeat became in sync the moonlight casted their sillones on the ground.
They were two lovers who were lost in eachother hoping to never get out and wanting to hide from the world it felt new but familiar.
Once the song ended Chris kissed her so deep and and passionately Maya thought she was gonna cum then and there.
Chris's hands moved from their previously respectable position making circle on her hips to the bottom of her ass telling Maya to jump causing Maya wrap her chocolate legs around his waist.
As Chris walked he kept repeating how much he missed Maya so much while he was in LA.
They couldn’t even make it back to their bedroom for their first round of many.
And Maya was a goner as Chris made love to her all night in every corner of their apartment as the city watched as the couple were engulfed with each other.
But there was a little voice in the back of Maya's head "Well damn how are we going to top 40 next year" it asked.
The preoccupied side of her brain shooed hat thought away so she could just enjoy being with her man at this moment.
Thanking god there was no more space between them like the miles before.
Tumblr media
90 notes · View notes
thishintoflove · 3 years ago
Text
A Sweet Package - BobaDin Week Day 5: AU
Pairing: Din Djarin / Boba Fett
Rating: General (no warnings aside from mild swearing)
Summary: Boba has to deal with an unwanted package at his front door. Luckily, the hassle turns out to be worth it when he meets the package's true owner.
A/N: Here, have some tooth-rotting fluff because these boys deserve it! (ノ☉ヮ⚆)ノ ⌒*:・゚✧
Also available on AO3
“Ouch, shit, god dammit,” Boba swore as he stubbed his toe.
He shifted his keys to his other hand and leaned against his apartment door as he bent down to rub his toe, glaring at the offending object.
The damn package was in the wrong place. The worst part? He hadn’t even ordered anything recently.
It had been a long day, he was tired, and he didn’t have the time or patience to deal with unwanted shit outside his door.
Boba was inclined to just let it sit there, but he had to move it out of the way if he didn’t want to repeat this stubbed-toe incident tomorrow. As he glanced down again to shove it away with his foot, he noticed that the package had actually come to the correct place, but it had come to the wrong person.
It was his address, but he was certainly not the “Grogu Djarin” to whom it had been addressed.
He’d been living here for almost three months and he hadn’t received any other pieces of mail. Surely there was a forwarding address set up for this Grogu Djarin? The outside label had a personalized message that read, “To Grogu. I love you to the stars and back, little one. Happy Birthday! Love, Dad.”
Ah shit. He was going to have to do something with it.
Boba did not want to be responsible for a kid missing out on his birthday present. Grogu Djarin would probably be expecting his package-- what if this was his only birthday gift? Another closer look at the box revealed a “Perishable: refrigerate after opening” label. Damn, he certainly couldn’t just keep the package and hope that the father in question would come by and collect it. Given its size, weight, and postage markings on it, whoever had ordered it had spent quite a lot on getting it sent.
Boba sighed and bent down to carry the package inside. As he set it down on the kitchen table, he saw that there was no return address, just the information from the company that had sent it. A bakery. A well-known, quite expensive bakery.
He had a very clear picture of what was going on now, but he didn’t know what he could do about it. Boba’s brow furrowed. It wasn’t his responsibility, technically… But the thought of a little boy not receiving his birthday treat, from his father no less, was enough to soften his heart.
He couldn’t get the vision of this unknown man telling his sad child that he wasn’t getting a birthday cake this year out of his head. It was terribly sad...
Oh great. He was on a mission now.
Boba had to get the cake to this child. He needed a plan. Returning to sender would be useless at this point, so he had to find out the current address of Grogu Djarin’s father.
He grabbed his phone and typed up a quick message to his landlord and leasing agency.
"This is Boba Fett from apartment fifteen. Do you have a forwarding address for the previous tenants? I’ve received a time-sensitive package for them."
After sending the message, Boba ambled around his apartment and tried to find something to take his mind off the Problem sitting on his table. He took some cold noodles out of the fridge for dinner and listened to a voicemail from Fennec that mostly involved her complaining about a recent customer.
Right when he was about to dive into invoices from work, his phone buzzed with a message from his landlord. It contained the former tenant’s email address.
He scratched the back of his head as he considered how to compose the email. He figured keeping it formal was a safer bet. He didn’t want this guy thinking he was some kind of creep. Boba hummed to himself as he typed out a message.
"Hello. I’m the current tenant of your previous apartment and I’ve received a package addressed to you. It says “perishable” on it so I figured it was important. Let me know how you’d like to proceed."
He leaned back in his chair, assuming that it would take a while for Grogu Djarin’s father to respond. But it didn’t. Within five minutes, his phone chirped with a response.
"Thank you! I was wondering what happened when it didn’t arrive today like it was scheduled to. It was my own fault for forgetting to update my address when I ordered online. I’m terribly sorry for the inconvenience. Thanks for letting me know what happened."
Boba frowned as he read the response. The man obviously wasn’t expecting anything from him. That was a good thing, but Boba still felt guilty. Perhaps the man was too polite to ask anything of him? He decided to dig a little deeper.
"The package is a birthday cake, right? I recognize the bakery on the label. Do you still need it?"
"Yes, it’s a cake. It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow. All the kids in his class are obsessed with this bakery but we’ve never been, so I decided to order from them as a surprise. I’d offer to come pick it up but my son’s already in bed and I can’t leave him alone. Thanks for letting me know what happened to it. You can get rid of it, or enjoy it yourself if you want."
Boba sucked in a breath and considered his options.
"Are you still in the city? I could bring it to you."
"I couldn’t ask you to do that."
"It’s no trouble."
"Okay, then yes, thank you! I can’t tell you how much that means to me. My address is ---"
Luckily it wasn’t too far from Boba’s apartment. No more than twenty minutes. He could handle that.
He sent back one more message affirming that he was on his way, and then he gathered up the package and his keys. So much for a relaxing night. He had to be up early as usual, but the warmth in his chest almost made up for it. Hell, he felt like some kind of personal Santa Claus. Fennec would say that his actions were “good karma”, but deep down Boba knew he was doing it for the little boy on the label. He knew what it was like to have a disappointing birthday as a child. Boba wouldn’t allow another child to experience that if there was something he could do about it.
Twenty minutes later he was standing in front of an unfamiliar apartment door, double-checking his email to make sure he was at the correct address. He knocked gently, since it was late and the kid inside was likely asleep.
After a brief moment, the door opened to reveal a tall, disheveled man. He was fit and looked only slightly younger than Boba, but his hair was a mess and there was... flour? Yes, flour, spilled across his shirt and sleeves. His brown eyes immediately widened in recognition and gratitude when he realized who was at the door.
“Hey,” Boba said awkwardly, hefting the package in his arms, “I believe this belongs to you.”
“Yes, thank you!” the man exclaimed, opening the door wider and stepping into the threshold, “You really have no idea how much this means to me. My son’s going to be very happy tomorrow.”
“I figured,” Boba replied, handing over the package. He allowed his eyes to run over the man’s features again. He was a mess, but cute. Very cute. And he was clearly a caring father. It made Boba want to be nicer than usual.
“You didn’t have to come all this way. Can I pay you, or give you something to thank you-”
Boba just held up his hand and shook his head.
“It’s no problem, really. I wanted to. As soon as I saw the ‘happy birthday’ message, I thought oh shit, I gotta get this to them. I hope your son enjoys it.”
“I’m sure he will. You really did me a huge favor. We moved a few weeks ago and my head’s still all over the place. Finally got a two-bedroom,” the man said, then quickly shut his mouth when he realized this might be unnecessary information.
“Congratulations,” Boba replied, giving him a wry smile. The man blushed and shifted the package under one arm so he could reach out and shake Boba’s hand.
“I’m Din by the way.”
“Boba. Nice to meet you.”
He knew he could walk away right now, but something about the man in front of him was magnetic. Boba was jaded enough at this point in life to not believe in stupid romantic fantasies like love at first sight, but there was something about this man that seemed special. His eyes captivated Boba’s attention, and he found that he wasn’t ready to end their conversation just yet.
“Were you trying to whip up a last-minute backup cake?” Boba asked, gesturing to the flour he spotted on Din’s collar and neck.
Din gave a humorless chuckle and shook his head.
“Just cupcakes. And it was going terribly. I uh, can’t bake to save my life,” he said, his hand rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
Boba hummed and tilted his head. Should he…? Yeah, he was going to be honest with Din.
“Well, I can.”
Din’s brow furrowed and he gave Boba the most adorable confused look. “Huh?”
“I can bake. Actually, I bake quite a lot.”
“You do?”
“Couldn’t tell just by looking at me?” Boba tossed back sarcastically, but he grinned to show the man he wasn’t truly offended, “Yes, it’s my job. I own a bakery.”
“Oh! That’s amazing! And you… came all this way to deliver a cake from a rival bakery?”
“I’ll be honest, when I first saw the package at my door I was ready to dump it in the trash, but your note changed my mind. They’re overrated, but they’re still pretty good. I’m sure your son and his friends will love the cake.”
“I’m inclined to believe you, seeing as you’re an expert and all.”
“But now you’ll have to allow me to get some free advertising out of this deal,” Boba replied, his grin widening, “If you’re interested in trying some real delicious, authentic stuff, come by my place with your son sometime. It’s over on the West Side. I promise I’ll make something that’ll blow this cake out of the water.”
Din’s eyes sparkled as he nodded, “I think that’s a fair deal. It won’t take much to convince my son, he has a massive sweet tooth.”
“Fantastic. It’ll be worth the trip, just wait and see.”
They smiled at each other like they were in some kind of damn rom-com. Boba knew that he was probably wearing the same goofy-grin as Din but it didn’t bother him. So what if he appeared soft? It was near-midnight on Wednesday, there was no one else in the apartment hallway to see them anyway. Even if there was, Boba couldn’t bring himself to care.
“Well… have a good rest of your night,” he said to Din, taking a step back. He had to leave before he did something really stupid, like lean in for a kiss with this overly attractive stranger. This wasn’t actually a movie- it wasn’t like there was a soft-rock ballad swelling in the background.
“Thank you again, Boba,” Din replied, his voice brimming with sincerity. He gave Boba one last soft smile as the man started to step away, “And I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
“I look forward to it.”
As Boba walked back down the stairs, he couldn’t get the stupid smile off his face. Fennec would laugh at him tomorrow when he recounted the story, but he didn’t care. Sure, real-life wasn’t a movie. But this was as close to it as he’d ever come, and you could be damn sure that he was going to savor it.
36 notes · View notes
raibebe · 4 years ago
Text
Birthday Girl
Tumblr media
Genre: Smut Words: 6.030 Pairing: Mingyu x Wonwoo x female reader poly relationship Warnings: Meanie/Wongyu (member x member elements, y‘all have been warned), double penetration, dom/sub undertones (subspace?), daddy kink, slight degradation
A/N: This was originally written as a birthday present for @min-inu​ almost a month ago late at night in her dm’s because that’s apparently the only way for me to write Seventeen smut and today I present you the cleaned up and extended version of what I originally wrote at 1am. This is somewhat of a sequel to Triple Threat. No need to read it though, it‘s also basically PwP but set in the same universe, so if you enjoy these dynamics, give it a read. This has somewhat more of a plot though... I have no idea if this is actually possible like this, but this is fiction and I tried to make it realistic to an extent.
Tumblr media
Today was your birthday and you probably hadn’t been this excited about this day since you had been around ten years old. The day had already begun great: The sun’s rays that had tickled your nose had woken you up in the arms of one of your boyfriends that he had sneaked around you and below the big shirt that you had most definitely stolen from Mingyu. Wonwoo had his chest pressed against your back where you could feel the even rhythm of his breaths, indicating that the sunlight wasn’t bothering his sleep in the slightest. Carefully squirming out of his hold, you closed the curtains so he could get another couple of minutes of sleep before you slipped into the kitchen where a small breakfast with a little note written in the messy handwriting of your other boyfriend was already waiting for you. You smiled and quickly read over his saccharine words before eating the fluffy pancakes he had made.
After you had finished the delicious yet a little cold meal and put the dishes in the sink, you quickly scribbled a little heart and a ‘thank you’ on the little paper, sticking it to the fridge. After taking a look at the big clock in your living room, you decided that you still had enough time for a shower before you had to leave for your only class of the day and your shift at work. Because it was your birthday after all, you not only treated yourself to a scorching hot shower but also rubbed some expensive body lotion into your skin before getting dressed in a simple outfit. Nothing of the noise that you had made had seemed to have bothered the still sleeping Wonwoo who instead of you was now hugging your pillow tightly. Smiling you pressed a kiss to his forehead, making him wrinkle his nose adorably before mumbling something incoherent and burying his face deeper into the pillows. Committing the sight to your brain, you quickly gathered your things and softly closed the apartment’s door to go about your day.
Once your class was over, you had your shift at work and after that your parents would treat you for dinner. But what really made you excited was that you got to spend the late evening with your boyfriends who had promised that they both would be at home and didn’t need to finish any essays or needed to study for exams. It had been a while since all three of you had spent time like this and you were basically buzzing with excitement during dinner. When your parents had commented on it, you just said that your flatmates had planned a movie night with your favorite movies for you. To them that was all that Mingyu and Wonwoo were to you because how should you explain to your parents that you had two boyfriends that were also dating each other.
After you had parted ways with your parents before the restaurant, a beautiful new bracelet shining in the low lights of the taxi you took home, you sent a quick text to the group chat with your boyfriends, telling them you were on your way home. As always Mingyu was quick to reply: Be safe on your way back home, darling. We missed you today ❤ You smiled at the message that illuminated your screen, excitement bubbling in your chest. With a bounce in your step, you quickly walked up the stairs to the door of your apartment when you had arrived, taking a deep breath before unlocking the door. “I’m back,” you spoke before your breath was taken away from you. The lights in the apartment were off, the only light coming from what must be hundreds of candles stacked on the furniture and the floor.
Giggling happily, you shrugged off your shoes and coat before you followed the line of candles that first lead you into the kitchen where another note similar to the one from this morning was waiting for you. ‘The first present’, it read. Smiling you opened the silky red ribbon that held the lid of the dark box closed that the note was stuck onto. Beneath a layer of dark red packaging tissue there was a beautiful black negligee made of pretty lace and soft satin with matching lace panties. In awe at the present, you carefully picked it up and felt the soft fabric. You were sure Mingyu had thought of this. While Wonwoo always enjoyed seeing you and Mingyu in pretty clothing, he didn’t quite have the eye for picking these kinds of stuff himself. Your heartbeat picked up in pace when you quickly got rid of your clothes and slipped into the soft dress. It fit you perfectly. Smiling, you traced over the little swirls and blossoms that adored the skirt of the dress before you followed the line of candles into the living room.
On the little table in front of the couch, two more packages and another note were waiting for you alongside a single red rose that was sitting inside a delicate vase. That seemed more like a Wonwoo thing. The little note read: ‘You look gorgeous in that dress.’ And you couldn’t help but blush. Carefully you opened the first, smaller package that seemed to be wrapped by the store in a light blush colored paper, revealing the expensive perfume you had eyed over the past couple of weeks. An excited squeal left your lips as you fumbled to spray a little on your neck and wrists, the flowery scent mixing beautifully with your own natural one.
The last package was just a little smaller than the one you had received in the kitchen but was packaged in a similar way. Carefully you opened the box to find a pair of black lace thigh highs that you also quickly slid onto your legs, making them appear longer than they were. Just wearing this sexy lingerie that your boyfriends had picked, made arousal course through your body and you couldn’t wait to get to the bedroom where you suspected them to be hiding.
When you followed the trail of candles to the door of your shared bedroom, you quickly decided to slip away into the bathroom for a second to apply the dark red lipstick you had gotten yourself as an early birthday present earlier this week to complete the sultry look. Smiling at your reflection, you quickly made your way back to the bedroom, you probably had kept them waiting long enough.
The lights in the bedroom were also off except for the bedside lamp, a cloth draped over it to soften the light, and a couple of fairy lights that you had hung when you first moved in but never really turned on. Your boyfriends both sat on the bed, only wearing tight boxers that left next to nothing to your imagination. “Welcome home beautiful,” Wonwoo spoke up first, getting up from where he had been leaning against the headboard and taking your hand before pressing a gentle kiss to your cheek. “Happy birthday,” he whispered before Mingyu took his place and kissed your other cheek. “You look absolutely stunning,” the taller breathed, playfully spinning you around once, “Happy birthday, love.”
You felt your face heat up from their compliments and from how their eyes raked over your body. “Did you like your presents?” Mingyu eagerly asked, trailing his fingers over the skirt of the negligee. “I love them,” you admitted, smiling up at both of them, “Thank you so much.” Chuckling, Wonwoo pulled you along to the bed, encouraging you to sit on his lap when he leaned to sit against the headboard. “But this isn’t everything, princess,” he smiled, his eyes never leaving yours, his hands teasing the skin of your thighs, “Tonight is going to be all about you.” “Let us make you feel good,” Mingyu breathed, kneeling next to you on the mattress, his eyes dark with lust. A soft mewl left your lips and you could feel yourself getting more and more turned on from the arousal that seemed to ooze off of your boyfriends. “Will you let us, princess?” Wonwoo breathed, his deep voice dropping another octave when he gently cupped your face to turn it towards him again. “Please,” You whimpered, letting your eyes flutter closed when Wonwoo claimed your lips in a deep kiss.
It wasn’t long before you felt his tongue tracing your lips and you eagerly opened them to deepen the kiss even further, pressing your body against his where you could feel his growing arousal against your body while making the soft fabric of your dress rub against your sensitive nipples, making you gasp into the kiss. It wasn’t often that he dropped his usually dominant behavior and let you just do as you please and you took full advantage of it, basking in the way you could touch him and bury your hands in his dark hair to mess it up. Soon you felt another pair of hands on your body, gently exploring your curves before settling on your waist and a strong chest pressed to your back. Usually Mingyu would whine about not getting attention by now, but he stayed quiet and instead busied himself with pressing open mouthed kisses along the exposed skin of your neck and jawline, gently sucking and biting on the skin until it bruised, leaving marks just high enough that they would peek out from beneath your collar, making more and more gasps leave your lips that Wonwoo eagerly swallowed.
After a while you felt Mingyu’s big hands sneak beneath the hem of the negligee and your skin almost burned where he was touching you now, pressing you back against him, making you feel his already hard cock. “Feel what you’re doing to me, princess?” He rasped while shamelessly rutting against the swell of your ass, “You look so hot like this.” The moan that left your lips forced you to part from Wonwoo who smirked at you before angling his hips up, so his clothed erection could brush against your core, making you arch your back and another moan leave your lips. “You’re driving us crazy like this, princess,” he spoke softly.
“What do you want princess?” Mingyu asked, his breath hot against your ear. “Touch me please,” you whimpered before clashing your mouths together. The angle wasn’t ideal but that wasn’t stopping you from kissing him like your life depended on it. You felt Wonwoo’s chuckle from where you had your hands braced against his chest more than you actually heard it. “My needy babies,” he chuckled, sounding so fond of you two. His fingers started roaming your form as well, teasing your nipples through the thin fabric before he lowered the fabric just enough so he could wrap his lips around one of them, tearing a moan from your lips. Subconsciously you started grinding your hips against Wonwoo’s erection, desperate for some friction on your neglected core, making him growl and release your perky nipple with a lewd sound. “Touch her Mingyu,” he ordered, eyes dark and fingers gripping your thighs to force them open just a little bit wider.
Eager to please, the younger slipped a hand between your legs, teasing your clit through your panties. “You’re already so wet, princess.” “I need you, please,” you whimpered, grinding down against his palm and throwing your head back to rest on his shoulder. “Don’t tease her, be good Mingyu,” Wonwoo cut in when the other kept slowly pressing the heel of his palm against your clit, making you work for the sweet friction you desperately needed. Following the elder’s orders, Mingyu quickly slipped his fingers inside your panties, letting them drag through your folds. “You’re so wet, fuck,” he cursed but before you could respond, he slipped one of his thick fingers inside you, making any words you wanted to say turn into a drawn out moan. “So pretty,” Wonwoo praised you while Mingyu stretched you around his finger, quickly adding another one and curling them to find your sweet spot, making you moan and writhe in his hold.
“What do you want, princess?” Wonwoo moaned as he palmed his own erection to take some of the edge off. “Need you inside me,” you breathed, trying to even out your shaking voice. “Which one of us?” Mingyu asked, slowing his hand down, so you could form a proper sentence. “Both of you,” you whined. “Baby...” Wonwoo soothed you, carding a hand through your hair. You had tried taking both of them at the same time once before but it hadn’t worked out and it had just made you so frustrated with your own body. “Please Wonwoo,” you begged, “I know I can, please, please, please.” “Ssssh, baby,” he soothed, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips. “Everything for our princess tonight,” he decided, “Let’s get you out of these panties, hm?” You eagerly nodded, whimpering when Mingyu pulled his fingers from you, so you could slip the soaked fabric down your legs.
When you turned back to the bed, Wonwoo had Mingyu pinned underneath him, kissing the younger hard while rutting their hips together. “Be good for her,” Wonwoo whispered to the taller, finally pulling the dark boxers off him, making his cock spring free, slapping wetly against his toned stomach. “He’s all yours, princess,” he smirked, playfully slapping your ass before climbing off a panting Mingyu who had an adorably crooked grin on his face. Licking your lips, you took Wonwoo’s place, placing your hands on Mingyu’s strong chest and ground your now bare core against his cock, coating him in your juices. “Please,” Mingyu whimpered beneath you, grinding your hips together like two horny teenagers. Smiling, you raised yourself up and grabbed his cock by the base to line him up with your entrance before sinking down on him in one smooth movement, making you both moan loudly.
You slowly circled your hips, getting used to his length inside you, filling you up just right but you couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to truly be filled to the brim with both of your boyfriend’s cocks. Mingyu’s strong hands on your hips tore you from your thoughts when he helped you to set a rhythm as you bounced up and down on his dick, the sounds of your moans and the slick slide of him inside you filling the air. “You feel so good, fuck,” he cursed, pulling you down so he could kiss you while fucking up into your tight heat with sharp snaps of his hips. You lost yourself in Mingyu and the way he stopped his harsh pace to bury himself as deep as it was possible to grind inside you, pressing into your walls just how you liked it, making the pleasure slowly build more and more inside you. It could have been just minutes or hours, you weren’t sure but you quickly felt your orgasm approach, reminding you that this wasn’t how you wanted to cum tonight. “Wonwoo,” you whimpered, straightening up again to turn to where he was sitting, slowly stroking his cock while watching you and Mingyu from dark and hooded eyes. “You looked like you were enjoying yourself, princess,” he grinned. “Need you as well,” you whined, making grabby hands towards him. “I know you do baby,” he rasped, grabbing the lube that he had already prepared and positioned himself behind you. “Lean forward for me,” he breathed, pressing a hand down between your shoulder blades. You easily followed his wish, folding yourself on top of Mingyu’s chest and catching his parted lips in a heated kiss.
“Relax for me princess,” Wonwoo rasped before you felt a lubed up finger massage where you and Mingyu were connected, coating everything in an obscene amount of lube and forcing little moans and whimpers from the younger who did his best to force his hips to stay still. Chuckling Wonwoo slapped the inside of Mingyu’s thigh when he snapped his hips up after Wonwoo had teased the base of his cock. “Stay still, puppy,” he scolded. “Not fair,” Mingyu pouted, making you chuckle before kissing his pursed lips chastely.   “Tell me if it’s of much,” Wonwoo spoke after he deemed your entrance lubed up and you relaxed enough to press one of his lubed up fingers inside you alongside Mingyu’s cock. The stretch wasn’t unpleasant yet but you knew that this wasn’t all. When Wonwoo began to pump his finger, you desperately clung to Mingyu, distracting yourself with messy kisses. By the time Wonwoo had worked a second finger in and began scissoring them, the stretch became more painful and you whimpered into Mingyu’s mouth. “You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” he soothed you, gently biting the skin of your neck and fondling your boobs to distract you. The longer Wonwoo stretched you, the less it hurt and the more pleasure began to build inside you again only to be brought back down when he introduced yet another finger. Meanwhile Mingyu did his best to make you relax, canting his hips up so your clit could rub against his pubic bone, the sparks of pleasure numbing the pain from being stretched. “Please Wonwoo,” you begged after a while when the pain had made way for pleasure yet again, “I can take you.”
“Not yet baby,” he soothed, rubbing your back with his free hand, “I want this to be good for you.” You let out a frustrated groan and started to grind back onto his fingers to prove your point. “Fuck, baby,” Mingyu cursed, the grip he still had on your hips tightening, “You’re driving me insane like this.” “No coming yet, puppy,” Wonwoo‘s harsh voice cut in, grabbing the base of the younger‘s dick tightly to starve off his orgasm, making him thrash beneath you, a drawn out whine leaving his swollen lips, his eyes screwed shut. “Please Wonwoo,” you gasped, throwing him a pleading look over your shoulder.
“Tell me if it’s uncomfortable, princess,” he whispered this time, pressing a kiss to your spine before pulling his fingers out, making you whimper. You held your breath when you heard the telltale sound of Wonwoo slicking up his cock before you felt the blunt head of his cock nudge against your entrance before it gave away, stretching you almost impossibly wide, knocking all air from your lungs. When he was finally bottoming out after what felt like hours all three of you let out a deep breath. “Fuck you’re so tight,” Mingyu groaned, gripping the sheets tightly to stop himself from bucking up into the tight heat engulfing his cock. “You feel so good princess,” Wonwoo agreed breathily, the grip he had on your hips almost bruising. “Please move,” you softly spoke when the initial pain had bled into a low throbbing, making you head dizzy.
“Anything for you princess,” Wonwoo promised and gently started rocking his hips, tearing loud moans from Mingyu and you. “F-feels so good, so full,” you blabbered, not even sure if you were even forming coherent sentences anymore. Every thought was wiped from your brain when Mingyu and Wonwoo found a rhythm and both thrust into you, their cocks filling you and pressing deliciously into your walls and into your sweet spot. It wasn’t long that the room was filled with your moans and whines forming a symphony with your boyfriend’s low groans and the sound of skin meeting skin and the obscene squelching sounds from the amount of lube Wonwoo had used.
“I’m not going to last, fuck,” Mingyu cursed, wrapping his arms around you and thrusting up into you hard, his hips losing his rhythm. “Not yet puppy, let her cum first,” Wonwoo spoke through gritted teeth and you could tell that he was fighting back his orgasm as well from how hard he was gripping you. “Don’t hold back please,” you begged,” Want you to fill me up please.” Another curse left Mingyu’s kiss swollen lips and he bucked his hips up a couple of more times before he pressed into you as far as he humanly could, nailing your sweet spot as his orgasm crashed over him. When you felt his cock twitch inside you, painting your insides white, you couldn’t hold off anymore as well, letting your orgasm wash over you, your eyes rolled back while your body completely locked up before you shook in Mingyu’s hold from the force of it. The rhythmic clenching around his cock tipped Wonwoo over the edge as well, his groan resonating deep in his chest as he came inside you as well.
For a while all three of you just laid there, trying to catch your breath, basking in the presence of each other. You could feel the exhaustion settling inside you, finally realizing the strain it had taken on your body to have both of your boyfriends inside you. “Fuck, we really made it work,” Mingyu giggled and broke the silence, high on his post orgasmic bliss. Wonwoo just laughed hoarsely before slowly pulling his softening cock out of you, making you hiss when you felt what must be a mixture of your boyfriend’s cum and lube trickle down your thigh. There was no way you were leaving the bed tomorrow, you already felt impossibly sore but sated and proud at the same time. “Fuck,” Wonwoo cursed, his eyes fixed to where Mingyu was still settled deep inside you, his cock and pelvis smeared with cum and lube. He slowly reached out to run his fingers through the slippery mess, making Mingyu whimper in overstimulation when he teased his shaft. “Wonwoo,” he gasped, his hips twitching to escape the touch, tearing a high pitched sound from your throat. The elder just giggled and retreated his teasing hand. “I just can’t help myself when you look like that.” You didn’t have the strength in you to roll your eyes at Wonwoo and his territorial kink for seeing Mingyu and you covered in his cum.
“How are you feeling, beautiful?” Mingyu gently asked, smoothing down your hair. “You did so well.” “I feel messy,” you slurred against the skin of his neck, breathing in his calming scent. “How about a bath, angel?” he whispered before pressing a kiss into your hair, swiping it back from where it had stuck to your forehead. “I don’t think I can move.” “Not a problem when you have a strong boyfriend like me,” Mingyu laughed. “I’ll fall asleep in the bathtub and drown,” you groaned when his by now soft cock slipped from your core from his laughing, and a mixture of cum and lube followed. “How about a quick shower for you two then?” Wonwoo interrupted, rubbing soothing circles into your lower back. “You two can clean yourselves up and I’ll take care of the bed.” “Don’t wanna,” you pouted even though Wonwoo couldn’t see it. “I can clean you up but you’ll regret it in the morning, angel,” he spoke, pressing kisses to your spine while massaging your lower back where your negligee had ridden up. “Don’t care,” you mumbled into Mingyu’s chest, mind already disappearing into the world of dreams. “I don’t want to hear any complaining tomorrow,” Wonwoo sighed before he pressed a final kiss right between your shoulderblades and slipped out of the room.
“Let’s get you out of this as well, angel,” Mingyu softly spoke, trailing his fingers over the fabric of your dress. After making an affirmative noise you let him gently roll you off of him on the mattress to pull first the negligee off your torso and then your thigh highs off your legs, leaving kisses on every inch of skin he uncovered, making you giggle. “I love you,” you whispered, making grabby hands at him so he would come up to kiss you. Grinning brighter than the sun itself, he granted you your wish, lazily letting his tongue play against yours. You contently sighed, letting his body press you into the soft mattress.
When you heard the door fall into its lock again, you gently broke the kiss, smiling brightly when Mingyu pressed a last kiss to your forehead before he climbed off the bed to clean himself up, letting Wonwoo take his place between your legs. He quickly got rid of most of the mess with the cloth he had wetted with warm water, soothing you with little kisses to your thighs and reassuring words. “You did so well, baby,” he praised when he threw the cloth somewhere into the room, his eyes full of love and adoration. “I told you I could take you both.” “I apologize for ever doubting you were anything else than perfect for us, babygirl.” “Kiss me and I’ll forgive you,” you returned playfully. “If that’s all it takes,” Wonwoo grinned before kissing his way up from your thighs, over your stomach, between the valley of your breasts, along your neck where he paid special attention to the bruises Mingyu had sucked into your skin before he captured your parted lips in a deep kiss, wasting no time to lick into your mouth. This kiss was nothing like what you had shared with Mingyu before. Wonwoo kissed you with so much passion, gently biting your lower lip, a smirk building on his lips when a moan slipped past yours. “Wonwoo,” you gasped his name when he started to place open mouthed kisses along your neck, making you shiver. He just hummed deep in his chest, slowly grinding his hips down.
“You’re hard again,” you gasped, feeling his length drag over your soft skin. “It’s all your fault,” he scolded, biting down on your collarbone. “You look so pretty when you’re fucked out, baby. And it’s your birthday. I can’t just call it quit after one little orgasm, babygirl. You deserve more, don’t you think?” To accentuate his words, he sneaked one of his hands between your bodies, cupping your core. Another whimper fell from your lips and your legs instinctively fell open further to give your boyfriend more access. “Such a good girl,” he praised, grinding the heel of his palm against your clit, making you mewl. “Still sensitive,” you choked out, but knew better than to shy away from his touch. Your head already started to swim from his words, spoken sweetly like the stickiest honey, a dangerous heat starting to pool between your legs. “I know my baby can take it,” Wonwoo rasped when he moved his fingers so he could put pressure on your clit in earnest. Still overly sensitive, your legs twitched close but he had anticipated it and gripped one of your thighs in a tight grip, forcing you to keep them open. “Remind me of your colors, baby.” “Green for good, yellow to slow down and red to stop,” you choked out, eyes screwed shut. “What color are you now?” “I’m green, daddy.”
“Such a good girl,” Wonwoo growled, suddenly slipping a finger into your heat which was both too much and exactly what you needed. “Mingyu, help me out and hold her thighs,” he ordered when you had started to thrash in his hold after he had slowly started to pump his finger inside you, just barely grazing your sweet spot to not overwhelm you. At the mention of Mingyu’s name, your eyes snapped open. You hadn’t even heard your tall boyfriend coming back into the bedroom. Your eyes wandered down from his sunkissed pecs and his subtle abs to his cock that already had started to fill out again. The sight made a whimper slip past your lips. “Like what you see, baby?” He teased when he kneeled next to you, gripping your thighs tightly to spread them for Wonwoo who groaned at the sight of his finger disappearing inside you over and over again. “First you don’t even notice me and now you’re basically drooling for my cock. You are so greedy, baby.”
You didn’t have it in you to deny his words, the words only intensifying the cloud that began to form in your head, reducing you to a needy mess. A mewl left your lips instead and you tried to close your legs again when Wonwoo suddenly pushed two more fingers inside you, pistoning them right into your sweet spot. “Mingyu asked you a question baby. You should answer him,” Wonwoo scolded you, his other hand coming to rub little figure eights into your clit. Had he really asked a question? You couldn’t remember. A helpless moan left your throat instead of an answer and you pressed your face into the pillow to muffle the sounds. The pricking pain from where Mingyu had dug his nails into the tender flesh of your thighs brought you back for a bit. You knew you had to answer them. “I, I don’t know,” you sobbed, feeling tears clinging to your lashes, “I don’t remember, daddy please.”
“Is that all your mouth is good for? Begging and talking nonsense?” Wonwoo growled, crooking his fingers inside you to massage your sweet spot, making more words spill from your lips and at this point you didn’t even know if you made sense anymore. All you could focus on was the pleasure building inside you and the obscene squelching noises that your core made whenever Wonwoo dove his fingers back into you. In the back of your mind you wondered if you had ever been this wet or this far gone into what must be subspace.
“Mingyu, stuff her mouth, let’s see if it’s good for literally anything else, I can’t listen to her nonsense anymore,” Wonwoo scoffed, his words harsh but breathless from how he was rutting against the mattress to relive some of the pressure on his cock that already was leaking precum and turning an angry red shade from neglect. Mingyu eagerly followed his orders, using his height to his advantage so he could still hold your thighs open while dragging the tip of his hard length over your lips and cheeks, smearing them with precum. “Remember to tap my leg three times for me to stop,” he gently said and you weakly nodded before letting your mouth fall open. “Such a good and obedient girl,” he purred before pushing his hips down, engulfing his cock in the warm and wet heat of your mouth, making him groan and you mewl from feeling the familiar weight on your tongue.  Like the gentleman Mingyu was, he let you adjust for a bit, just gently grinding his hips before he squeezed your thighs tighter and buried himself deep in your throat, a raw moan spilling past his lips. After some seconds he pulled out again to let you heave a couple of breaths. Seeing the shiny head of his cock connected with your lips by a string of spit, made one or maybe both of your boyfriends groan and before you had the chance to even whine about the absence of cock in your mouth, Mingyu thrust his hips again, effectively muffling any sounds you could try to make.
You could just lie there and take whatever your boyfriend’s gave you and you couldn’t be any happier about it even though tears where staining your cheeks and your throat was hurting from how Mingyu used it. Your lungs where burning with the lack of oxygen but all that was just fueling the fire in your core where Wonwoo was pistoning his fingers inside you expertly. You could feel your orgasm approach you at lightning speed but Wonwoo hadn’t given you permission to cum yet, so you tried your best to fight it back down, your thighs shaking with the effort. “Oh look how good she’s trying to be,” Wonwoo cooed, slipping his fingers from your core to watch it clench around nothing, making you mewl around Mingyu’s cock, who in turn shakily lost his rhythm, a curse leaving his lips. “You want to cum baby?” The older asked, teasing your clit with his drenched fingers, the slide oh so slippery from how wet you were. You could just whine around Mingyu’s cock again, flexing your hips to try to grind against Wonwoo.
“Then cum baby, make a mess for me.” That was all it took for your orgasm to crash over you. Luckily Mingyu had pulled out, so you could scream in pleasure as your whole body went taught, your back arching off the bed as white hot pleasure coursed through your veins. You could feel your core twitching and hot liquid drenched Wonwoo and the sheets below you as your lower body shook from the force of your orgasm, your core pulsating with waves of pleasure, gushing out more liquid. “Fuck baby,” you heard one of your boyfriends curse and just moments later you felt the telltale warmth of drops of cum covering your chest along with a guttural moan. Your core was still throbbing when you opened your eyes again, your chest heaving, to see Wonwoo quickly jerking his cock, his eyes still fixated to your core. Only seconds later, he threw his head back, eyes screwed shut, when his cock spurted out ropes of white cum, painting the space between your spread thighs.
“That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen, fuck,” Mingyu chuckled, shakily climbing off of you to see the mess you had made for himself. “I didn’t know you could do that.” You wanted to tell him that you hadn’t known either but after your orgasm, the fog in your brain had only intensified and your lids felt like they had heavy weights glued onto them, forcing them shut. “Hey, angel,” you heard Mingyu speak through the fog, his big hands gently cupped your face and his thumbs rubbed away the tears that had stained your cheeks. “I’m green,” you managed to slur, turning your body towards his warmth. “You did so well,” he praised, kissing your forehead, “But I need you to come back to me, okay? Take your time but don’t fall asleep on me, okay?” You just hummed, curling your body around his. “Hey, angel. I need to pick you up so we can change the sheets okay? And I’ll clean you up, alright?” You hummed again, managing to put your arms around his neck.
What happened next was lost in the haze of your mind. You knew that Mingyu had lifted you from the bed and that he had carried you somewhere with a lot more light, making bright colors dance behind your closed lids. The next thing your felt was a cooling spray of water before you were wrapped up in a soft fabric that had the scent of something purely Mingyu. You happily buried your nose in the fabric and hummed in content.
“Open your eyes, princess,” you heard another voice speak to you when you felt your back meet the softness of your bed. “For me, please,” the voice repeated and a gentle kiss was pressed to each of your closed eyelids. Scrunching your nose, you tried to fight the weight keeping your eyes closed and when you finally managed to open them again, you were met with Wonwoo’s beautiful amber eyes that shone with love and adoration in the low light of your bedroom. “I’m so proud of you my love,” he smiled before he kissed your forehead. “Can we cuddle?” You asked in a small voice. “Of course, angel,” Mingyu spoke from your other side, a bottle of water in his hands. “As soon as you finish this for us.”
You nodded and drowned the bottle, the cold water doing wonders on your sore throat. You were sure you wouldn’t be able to either sit or speak tomorrow but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “Happy birthday baby,” Wonwoo kissed you when he rejoined Mingyu and you after discarding of the ruined bedsheets, your cheeks turning pink when you realized what had happened. “I love you two so much,” you confessed, smiling as you were squished between both of them, feeling warm and safe beneath the fresh sheets.
787 notes · View notes
folerdetdufoler · 3 years ago
Note
What are Magic 8ball Evak doing today? I miss them.
xo
hey, sorry, you sent this a few weeks ago i think and i really got hung up on it.
usually this kind of thing would be fun to think about but because of the way time works i didn’t know how to write around it! like, when you sent it it was late august, and technically that had like, just happened in the story. we’d just had a late august, so i couldn’t figure out if i should write another “late august day” almost a year after the story finished, even though i only finished the story back in april. that felt like too much of a time jump though, and i hadn’t given isak and even enough time to grow after the story ended. someone else had asked for an update in the comments on ao3 and i couldn’t give them one, not the same way i have been doing for mondays. but i do want to do something, so…
even’s birthday fell on a sunday. it was the first one isak would be celebrating with him, so isak wanted it to be special. but so did sigrid, and she worked faster than him. she invited them to their house for dinner months in advance, which annoyed even. the saturday before, when they were all hanging out at elias’s apartment, even spent most of the time grumbling about it.
“i thought things were getting better with you guys?” elias asked from his throne.
even sighed. “yeah, i mean, we’re fine. this guy is her new bff.” even patted the head of curls sitting against the couch between his legs. “but i just know it’s going to be this over-the-top thing that i don’t want to have to deal with on my birthday of all days. i don’t want that attention.”
isak paused the race he was playing against mikael and whipped around. “you love the attention.”
“yours, not hers.” even gave that same head a correcting tap and isak returned to the game. “if she actually wanted to celebrate my birthday with me then she would ask me what i would like to do, and then maybe it would be something i would enjoy.”
isak scoffed but didn’t pause the game this time. “if she did that you would just tell her to leave you alone.”
“happy birthday to me!”
“then you should just tell her no, you don’t want to spend your birthday with her.” elias doled out the reasonable and obvious advice.
“i would have, but she invited both of us and isak accepted immediately. besides, it’s kind of a regular thing now, sunday dinners.”
“that’s cute,” mutta noted as he walked in from the kitchen with a bag of pretzels and jar of peanut butter. mikael pointed to the coffee table, a silent command to place the snack within his reach.
isak felt a little guilty then, but he kept it to himself. they kept playing their game until it was mutta’s turn, and then isak pushed himself to his feet. he gestured to even to follow him to the kitchen.
even had a big smile on his face as they stepped away, because he was probably thinking isak wanted to kiss him in the privacy of another room. isak did pull him in close by the waist, but it wasn’t for kisses. “we can skip tomorrow,” he offered instead.
even froze for a second, but then shook his head. “no, no, we can go. i would only make it worse by skipping.”
“i would be happy to tell her we’re skipping but take her out to dinner on her own another night, smooth things over.”
even chuckled. “i absolutely love that you feel comfortable having one-on-one dates with my mother but it’s really not necessary. I’m just…complaining. and i’ll complain a little bit more in therapy, and then i’ll work through why i’m complaining and then i’ll be in a better mood for tomorrow. okay?” he reached up and rubbed isak’s shoulders in reassurance.
“will you tell me about it when you get home?” sometimes even shared what they’d talked about and sometimes he didn’t. isak was getting better about asking permission to cross the ever-changing border.
even’s eyes shifted to the side. “it depends on what we dig up.”
isak accepted this. “okay.” he leaned in to kiss even’s cheek, physically changing the subject. “my next question is…how angry do you think elias will be if i steal the big pillows?”
―――
isak had moved into even’s apartment right before christmas, hauling bags and suitcases back and forth over a few days until most of his belongings were at even’s. he fit a desk and his nice chair in the bedroom, and somehow all of his clothes fit in even’s closet. the giant pillows he’d bought had stayed at elias’s apartment, mostly because they would get more use there; the boys still gathered on saturdays and needed the extra seating. but after even left for therapy this was isak’s chance to make the steal without ruining his surprise.
mikael helped him carry them to even’s apartment, since he was ready to leave around the same time as isak. they didn’t talk much on the walk over, but isak knew that that was mikael’s preferred level of communication, and they were both comfortable with it. isak would much prefer a mikael at peace than a mikael ready to launch an attack.
they deposited the pillows in the living room and mikael turned to leave. “we should be here at six?” he asked over his shoulder.
“yeah. i don’t know how late we’ll be but if we leave early then that would be a good time.”
“okay. and elias still has his key?”
“yup.” isak followed mikael down the stairs to their shoes.
“aight. we’ll see you tomorrow then.” mikael offered his hand for a casual slap-shake goodbye, the most physical intimacy isak had ever experienced with him.
“thanks for the help!”
mikael disappeared. isak went back upstairs to find his phone and finalize plans with kari anne in the group chat.
―――
isak dressed nicely for dinners at sigrid & jan’s house. this time he had a red fair isle sweater and dark wash jeans, and some chunky socks keeping his feet warm in his leather boots. even wore something very similar, but his sweater was cream with a different pattern. “do you think she’ll want to take pictures of us again?” even wondered while he combed back his hair, then gently mussed it into a style.
“of course. it’s your birthday. and we look handsome.” isak was applying a dot of concealer just because he could, though he would have to ask emma for more if he wanted to keep up this routine. even put his comb bak in the drawer then leaned in to kiss isak on his opposite cheek. he added a smack to his ass on the way out.
isak liked to dress up a bit because it felt like sigrid and jan dressed up too. it was the polite thing to do, but also isak knew that conversation would flow better if they were all on the same page, even with their appearance. they were all putting the same level of effort into the gathering, and then no one would feel out of place. and it wasn’t too much extra effort, because they would just save the same outfits for work the next day…as long as they didn’t get any stains on them.
they gathered their outerwear as they walked down the stairs, pulling hats and scarves and heavy coats from the hooks along the walls. isak checked in with even right before they left. “are you sure?”
even nodded and smiled and isak didn’t doubt the honesty of his response. he’d shared that his session yesterday had gone well, and they’d talked about certain behaviors from sigrid and himself that he wanted to avoid. “like i’ve been remembering things she’s said and reacting to those instead of what she’s actually doing now. when i feel ready to discuss those past…transgressions, then i need to have a conversation specifically about those moments, versus whatever might be triggering those memories now, whether they’re related or not. otherwise it’s kind of like these mixed messages. she won’t understand what’s actually upsetting me.”
on the way over isak suggested a dinner with just his parents, where isak stayed home. “would it be easier, or give you more of an opportunity to discuss those things without me there?”
“maybe another time. sundays are nice with you.” he gave isak’s hand a squeeze.
they held hands in public now, while they were commuting to work or grocery shopping or walking over to elias’s or meeting emma for dinner. if isak happened to catch a stranger’s curious look, he might tense up a bit, but he didn’t let go anymore.
sigrid & jan’s house was a tiny thing that they’d moved into after even went to university. its yard was bigger than the actual house, but it was completely filled with jan’s garden. another nice thing about going to visit was that they always came home with plenty of seasonal crops. and in the winter it was usually canned fruits, jams, or pickled veggies. sigrid greeted them with big hugs and jan immediately presented two very small jars of “blackberry jam! i got just enough off of that bush at the back.”
“i thought it had died!” even exclaimed, the genuine shock and delight at the gift lifting his voice.
“it’s definitely on its last legs…uh, roots.”
“he was out there every day scouring the brambles.” sigrid shook her head but she was clearly proud of his efforts. then she took isak’s hand and pulled him to the kitchen. even and jan went to the tall closet at the back of the living room where jan stored his jars. “you both look so cozy today. remind me to take a picture later.” she brought him to the stove where she had two large pots simmering. she pointed to one. “i need you to blend that while i get this bread finished.”
“what is it?”
“that’s butternut squash, and this…is a ministrone. kind of. i’ve taken some liberties.”
isak picked up the immersion blender that was sitting next to the stove. sigrid had gotten it started but it was still chunky in spots. while he stood there and mixed the soup she sliced a loaf of bread and laid it out on a baking tray. each slice got a thick spread of butter. isak stepped to the side so she could open the oven and slide the tray in for a quick broil.
she flicked her eyes toward the living room and then leaned toward isak’s chest. “how has he been?”
sigrid asked this question every time they were together. isak had thought it was just general curiosity about the new relationship, but once isak revealed that to even he had rolled his eyes. she was asking isak because it was the nervous curiosity that even had tried to distance himself from years ago. eventually he told his mother to stop using isak to get answers about her own son. that turned into an argument where sigrid nearly started crying about how even wouldn't answer her so she had no choice. she excused herself from the table and jan was left to host the boys through the rest of a very quiet dinner.
at this point isak was comfortable pushing back to defend even’s boundary. “sigrid, you know i’m not going to speak for him. how’s this, is it smooth enough?”
she glanced into the pot. “yes, that looks good.” isak’s deflection seemed to work. “now grab some bowls from the shelf for me please. thank goodness he found a tall one to bring home,” she muttered to herself. isak blushed but easily picked four bowls from up high.
even and jan came to the kitchen shortly after, with jan still talking as they headed to the table. isak passed them the silverware and glasses to set out at each seat. then he helped sigrid carry the pots to the table. before she sat down she dropped a kiss on the crown of even’s head. “how are you doing?” she asked as casually as she could as she moved to her chair. isak sat on the other side of the table, so the couples could look at each other directly. isak studied even as he answered.
“i’m fine, mamma. a little nervous about pappa’s grand scheme over here, but everything else is okay.” isak couldn’t hear any tension in his voice so he relaxed a little bit.
“oh, is he trying to get you on his side about buying a van?”
“how else will i transport my vegetables, sigrid?” jan sounded exasperated by her skepticism.
“dearest, you don’t even have the stall permit yet. don’t put the cart—excuse me, the van—before the horse.”
“catch me up?” isak requested of the table in general. jan gleefully started from the beginning with his grand plan to join the farmer’s market that summer, with the full list of his crops and ideas for clever names for his backyard farm.
most of dinner was spent discussing this great undertaking, with even contributing creative enthusiasm and sigrid sprinkling it all with caution and logic. then they pivoted to jan’s work at the office, and how he found his attention shifting so easily in the warmer months. jan and sigrid lived comfortably and were starting to entertain plans for retirement. that led to talking about the cabin, which turned into the perfect segue by the time they were clearing the table for dessert.
Isak fetched smaller plates from an even higher shelf, and even clapped when sigrid revealed his cake. it was a tall layer cake draped in swirls of light blue icing. there were six candles on top and even’s name written in a shaky, dark blue script. “do you remember that picture you put in the folder for me? the close-up of his face?” sigrid asked isak. he nodded. every few weeks he picked a photo (with even’s approval) from his phone and uploaded it as a wordless update for his parents. that one had been from early december, when they went out for lunch on a random tuesday, just to get some sunlight. “i zoomed in on his eyes and picked the blue color from there.” sigrid twisted to even and cupped his cheeks with her small hands. even leaned into the adoring gesture and those blue eyes crinkled up with a smile. they shared a silent moment of connection and then she released him to stand in front of her chair. isak stood up too. jan struck a match to light the candles.
even laughed and gamely clapped while they sang the birthday song. he watched isak spin around with a little flare, and isak genuinely enjoyed performing something he used to roll his eyes at. then even paused to make a wish and blew out the candles. isak knew he would ask him what he wished for later.
the cake was delicious, and they each had two slices. even tried to flick icing across the table at isak but sigrid threatened him with a spoon. “if you get icing on my wall you are cleaning it up, birthday boy.” even agreed to those terms and kept trying. then jan left the table for the bedroom, and returned by sliding a tall, skinny cardboard box through the kitchen. it had a blue bow stuck on top, which was enough, since it would’ve taken an obscene amount of wrapping paper to cover the whole thing.
“eh?” even stood to look at the box.
“happy birthday, dearest.” sigrid looked very proud of the gift and was enjoying even’s puzzlement. jan stepped back and let even walk around it. they had to hold it at the top so it wouldn’t fall over.
“it’s heavy….” even’s eyes scanned each side. “is…did you get me a bed?” he gripped the box to turn it around, showing sigrid and isak the diagram on the other side. it was, in fact, a bed. “thank you,” even whispered, without much conviction.
“it looks like a nice bed,” isak added, coming around the table to look at the dimensions. “we can get the guys to help us carry it upstairs.”
“oh no! no!” sigrid nearly yelled. “it’s not for—it’s for the cabin. you don’t have to carry it anywhere. pappa and i will take it up on our next trip and build it in your room, so now you’ll have a proper bed for when you and isak visit. i didn’t want those flimsy beds from when you were a kid stopping you from staying in ålesund.”
even’s face relaxed as his mother explained and the bed made more sense. he leaned the box against the nearest counter edge and moved around it to give sigrid a hug. “thank you,” he said again, with actual gratitude. “that’s such a lovely gesture for the both of us.” he pressed a heavy kiss on sigrid’s cheek and isak saw her squeeze her eyes closed. she was going to cry. she let out a tiny gasp when even pulled back. he went to jan to give him a hug as well, and sigrid turned away from them to hide her tears. but isak stepped in and opened his arms for a hug as well, and she fell into his chest and let loose against his sweater.
“thank you, sigrid. that means so much to us.” he rubbed her back to calm her down. “let us know when you’d like a family vacation and we’ll try to clear our schedules for it, okay?” her blonde hair scratched at his chin as she nodded. isak knew it was a big promise, committing to a vacation with his boyfriend’s parents, but that seemed to be the least they could do since they bought them a bed. aside from the literal comfort they were providing, it felt like a grander statement since the gift would serve both of them. isak felt like it was his birthday too.
when even and his father separated, jan peeled off the bow and stuck it to even’s chest. they shared a low chuckle, and then jan slid the box back to the bedroom where it had been hiding. “you know, if we have a van, it will be a lot easier to transport this up there!” he sang as he left. isak let go of sigrid and spun into even’s arms. she plucked a napkin off the table to wipe at her tears while isak was crushed into a hug with the bow.
“we’ll keep the little mattresses, of course. you never know when elias and mutta and mikael want to come for a visit too. but yes, this will be a nicer frame for you both.”
“it’s such a thoughtful gift, mamma. thank you so much.”
“you know…i thought of it as soon as you came back from your first trip, when you brought back the clean sheets and blanket. it might’ve been presumptuous but if…if isak was having a nice time then i thought he might want to come back, and then i wanted it to be ready, and you two could have your own space.”
isak laughed as he pulled out of even’s hug. he kept to his side though, and wrapped an arm around even’s waist. “you were very right to presume. though i suspect i would’ve had a wonderful time even if i had to sleep on the floor.”
sigrid looked horrified when he suggested such a crime, but that just made even laugh. jan reappeared. “oh i forgot to bring these out.” he was carrying a colorful quilt and coordinating linens, also with a blue bow on top. even let go of isak to accept them, and both boys admired the pattern.
“pappa helped me pick those out. they were on sale after christmas. oh, and if you bring them back to the city to wash, you could just use them on your regular bed too. everything fits.” sigrid returned to her pleased homemaker attitude, with any remaining tears in her eyes only there out of pride. she’d surprised her son with a useful and enjoyable gift, that doubled as a reason for him to visit her at the cabin. it was a very successful birthday dinner.
―――
they enjoyed a little bit of champagne in the living room before they left, relaxing on the couches and catching up on the skiing gossip from sigrid and jan’s most recent trip. isak disclosed that he hasn’t skied since he was very young, which sent even giggling, picturing his boyfriend flying down the slopes. “this might be even better than my skateboarding fantasy.” luckily neither sigrid nor jan inquired further into what that fantasy actually was.
when isak noticed the time was getting close to seven he made the gentle suggestion to head home. sigrid and jan were happy to let them go, having enjoyed the whole bottle together and noting their earlier bedtime now that they were getting older. but she also demanded photos once they were standing, so isak took a few pictures of even with his parents and then jan took a few of isak and even alone. they had to brainstorm a way to take a picture of all four of them together, but then sigrid cleared a small space on the fireplace mantle to rest a phone. Even set the timer, they lined up with the boys in the middle, and they wrapped their arms around each other. they smiled.
after another round of hugs and kisses they bundled up and went home. isak carried the new linens in an oversized shopping tote over his shoulder. “that went well, yes?” isak looked over to see even nodding into his scarf. he pressed the button for their stop.
“it was really lovely. i had to, like, constantly remind my brain to not interpret what she was saying negatively, but that’s…what i’m supposed to be doing.” they stepped off the bus carefully, navigating the packed snow on the sidewalk. “maybe after a few more visits it will be less of a conscious effort. but even as it was, i enjoyed myself. i liked seeing you with my parents.”
“speaking of me with your parents, i kind of promised sigrid we would go on a family vacation with her to ålesund.”
isak could barely hear the chuckle underneath the scarf but it was there. “i think that was a given. that was the whole point of the bed. it was quite clever on mamma’s part.”
“mm,” isak agreed. “so we’ll have to start looking at our schedules. and now we have the weekend farmer’s market to take into account.”
even’s laugh was louder and drew his mouth up above the warm wool. “he really has leaned into his gardening in the last year, jesus. if you had asked me five years ago what hobby i thought my dad would pick up next, i never would’ve thought ‘fruits and vegetables.’”
“forget hobbies; he’s halfway to his own business.”
they approached their building. isak had his own key now, and he unlocked the first door for them.
“what are you thinking about?”
isak was thinking about the surprise that was waiting for them upstairs, feeling nervous that he didn’t have any texts with updates, even though he didn’t ask for any. but he quickly thought up a work excuse that would explain his distance. “um, how maybe someone from jakob’s team might be interested in profiling jan. has there been a surge of home gardens lately? what’s the process for joining a farmer’s market? how profitable is it to bring produce into the city from a farm versus urban, hyperlocal crops? what resources are there for farmers when it comes to direct-to-consumer sales?” he felt ridiculous spitting out these ideas because they were rushing out without a filter yet they sounded somewhat legitimate. he really should be putting these questions in a voice memo, but even was climbing the stairs in front of him and that was…well that took priority.
the bag of linens landed with a light thump on top of isak’s pile of shoes. they removed their outerwear slowly as they climbed, hanging everything back up. isak listened for noises but didn’t hear anything over the shuffle of their own clothes. there wasn’t any light coming through under the door. and even—even was still undressing. isak reached up and tugged at his belt. “what are you doing?” he hissed. even threw his sweater and undershirt over his shoulder, and they skimmed isak’s head as they fluttered down the steps.
“getting naked. wanna help?” even was still climbing and his hands were at his belt buckle.
“even, no!” isak was torn between holding his boyfriend back and trying to reach for his shirt, while also not pulling them both down the stairs.
“what…what’s going on? you love when i get naked.”
isak blushed, praying whoever was on the other side of the door was far enough away to not hear them. maybe they were hanging out in the living room. even undid his belt but he did stop climbing to look at isak.
“do you want me to blow you down there?” he pointed down to the graffiti door and isak was going to melt from the flames burning his neck.
“shut up, no, just….” he stumbled down the steps to fetch the sweater and chucked it back up at even. “put this back on. we can’t be naked.”
“why not?” even was seriously confused but he did as isak asked. “we always get naked.”
isak pinched the bridge of his nose. “not tonight, okay babe?”
even dropped his sweater and his jaw. “is this…is this the first time you’re saying ‘no’ to a fuck?”
“even! i’m not—that’s not what this is. just please put your clothes back on until…until later or something.”
even reached into the pocket of his sagging pants and pulled out his phone. “i need to document this. for the record.” he snapped a photo of isak staring up at him with an annoyed look on his face. “this was the first time isak denied me.” even snorted. “it looks like you’re about to give me a very angry blowjob though.” he showed isak the photo.
if he weren’t so frustrated by the situation, isak would’ve laughed. that’s exactly what the photo looked like with that angle. unfortunately isak’s face just made even want to persuade him even more, so even tucked his phone under his chin and promptly shoved his pants down to his ankles. he was wearing bright red boxer briefs and he shook his ass in isak’s face. then, before isak could get a grip on his body, sexual or otherwise, even waddled up the few remaining steps and reached for the door. isak screamed, “NO!” at the same time as their kitchen, full of friends and coworkers, screamed “SURPRISE!” at a nearly naked even.
maja screamed, marius howled, and mikael took approximately 50 photos, the flash of his phone camera lighting up the kitchen like a red carpet. isak was so embarrassed he sank down behind even’s legs. even laughed and made no move to get dressed.
“pull up your motherfucking pants even! i came here for your birthday, not a peep show.” kari anne's booming voice had a hint of a laugh in it.
it did not occur to isak until just then that all of their friends were not just seeing even in his underwear—they were seeing even’s boner in his underwear. so despite isak’s desire to melt into a puddle right there on the steps, he now felt enough possessiveness to lunge forward and pull up even’s pants from behind. it was a challenge to dress someone blind, especially when that someone was a giggly, wriggly mess. isak got a flash of the kind of future where he was getting a toddler dressed, but he had no time for that future right then. he got even’s jeans up to his butt and then he had to forcibly turn his boyfriend around in order to navigate his bulge.
“looks like dinner with the parents went well, then!” elias shouted out, making everyone laugh again and isak’s cheeks turn an impossible red.
“oh, babe.” even finally noticed isak’s general struggle. he took over with his pants and hefted them up to his waist. “i’m sorry. i should have listened to you. but this was amazing and hilarious. are you okay?” he buttoned his jeans and cupped isak’s jaw.
isak was still too flustered to say anything. his eyes darted from even’s face to the gleeful faces behind him, checking to see who was still laughing. “come on, bedroom.” even started walking isak backward toward the privacy of their bedroom. “five minutes!” he announced to everyone else.
“i thought you only needed two!” someone else shouted back.
―――
the laughter and voices faded as soon as the door closed. isak spun around and flopped himself on the bed face first. “surprise,” he mumbled. even collapsed on top of him, blanketing him with rough denim and warm skin.
“this was the best surprise ever. i’m sorry i embarrassed you with my penis.” even added a little thrust as if that would convey sincerity. the heat that flushed isak’s cheeks now was a slightly different kind. even nuzzled his face against isak’s cheek and gave him a few kisses. “i’ll get dressed and we can hang out with my favorite people.”
even pushed up and went to the closet. he swapped out his jeans for grey sweatpants and put on a white t-shirt. isak kept his jeans but opted for a clean white t-shirt too. even swept isak into a hug before they went through the door. “i love you in general and i love you for this. thank you for such a nice gift, and the perfect way to relax after the family dinner.” he squeezed across isak’s back and then shifted his head in for a kiss. isak demanded tongue as part of even’s apology and he got it, a nice open, wet kiss that tasted like champagne. even grunted when they parted. “um, yes. friends first, but then we’re definitely revisiting the naked thing.”
isak agreed with an aggressive grip on even’s ass. even kissed his way out of it and wiggled toward the door.
the kitchen roared with another greeting when they appeared, birthday wishes thrown from every direction. even opened his arms and accepted all of them with a wide smile. “thank you all for coming. this is such a fun surprise, and i clearly had no idea.”
“it was a fun surprise for us as well,” kari anne smirked.
“since we’re all here and there is a grotesque amount of alcohol behind mutta, have we agreed to absolutely ruin our sunday night?” another cheer went up. isak moved around even to get to the counter by mutta.
as requested, everyone bought the alcohol isak had assigned them and paid for. he couldn’t bring much into the apartment on his own without raising suspicion, so he spread out the drinks, food, and decorations among their friends. maja and marius picked up a cake from a bakery on their side of town. mutta and kari anne brought most of the alcohol. sana and yousef brought food from mamma bakkoush, enough to last them at least a week. elias and mikael were on decorations & entertainment duty. their friends had started drinking, as was to be expected when you’re trapped in an apartment for a couple of hours. since everyone had helped themselves to the juice and ice in the fridge, isak didn’t bother with setting anything else up. he searched for sana in the small crowd, who was chatting with mikael by the entrance to the hallway. when he caught her eye he nodded a question and she held up a full glass in response. with her taken care of he mixed up a dark & stormy for even.
“here you go, babe.” he only interrupted even’s conversation with marius and maja to put the cup in his hand. then he went back to the counter to assess the food. yousef joined him to point out the options.
“all of even’s favorites. mamma didn’t leave the kitchen all morning. this…this tray is okay. these two should be reheated a bit.”
“okay, thanks.” isak reached over to start the oven.
“and this we actually eat cold sometimes, so it would be fine as is.”
they figured out the food and then isak moved on to the living room. everyone was still in the kitchen, so isak got to see the decoration efforts as intended. streamers looped colorfully from even’s shelves, carefully taped as to not disturb his toys. balloons hovered at the ceiling, their strings becoming vines that dusted isak’s shoulders. on the coffee table was a pile of markers and a large brown envelope. he went right to the envelope to see what was inside. “yesssss.” isak dumped out the contents and spread them out. he had found ten particularly embarrassing photos, a mix of recent shots from isak and childhood ones from sigrid, that he’d ordered temporary tattoos of. he had a good feeling that this group was going to get very creative with the placement. in the very least he knew exactly where he wanted a tattoo of even on his own body. he practically skipped back out to the kitchen to get water and a sponge.
everyone had started eating, so isak joined the queue for a little bit of the bakkoush cuisine. no matter how full they were, isak and even would always make room for mamma’s food. isak refreshed even’s drink and then led some people into the living room to eat, for more seating. even stayed in the kitchen at the table with sana, yousef, and kari anne.
maja screamed again when she saw the tattoos. she and marius abandoned their food immediately and took the sponge to the bathroom. three minutes later marius returned with at least four evens plastered across his face. then he dared mikael to do even more. after that, it was chaos.
elias tried to tie a balloon to the back of sana’s hijab. kari anne was the first one to get a tattoo of even on her ass cheek. mutta and mikael started doing shots, and marius and maja were caught making out in the stairwell when it was time to break open the markers on the door. their defense was that maja could stand on one step above marius and they would be a closer height for kissing.
“like my apartment is the only place with steps, get the fuck out.” isak shoved marius against the door. but that’s exactly where everyone stayed. they all shared the markers and wrote silly birthday messages to even on the door, reading old ones and laughing, and recording new jokes that they now all shared. the graffiti door was due for an update and everyone got a chance to leave their mark. isak made sure no one wrote over his original “shithead,” and he added a couple more questionable names wherever they fit.
unfortunately marius convinced maja to paint her lips with marker ink and kiss the door, but then she was stuck with deep purple lips. sana immediately dragged her up to the bathroom to start exfoliating. isak had to console maja from the doorway. “i’ll get emma to give me some lipsticks that would cover it up if it doesn’t come off.”
“matte,” sana instructed.
isak opened his recording app and noted that: “matte lipsticks from emma for maja.”
“anything from a maroon to a magenta should cover it up.” isak added that. “in the meantime, here, you can use this.” sana pulled a tube of lipstick out of her small crossbody bag and opened a drawer. she plucked an alcohol wipe from where even kept them next to the tweezers and cleaned off the tube and used lipstick. she handed it to maja and maja looked like she was about to cry from the gesture. sana nipped it in the bud with a glare and a single finger held up in maja’s face. “just be glad your friends are so clean.”
isak blushed, assuming sana knew that they had those wipes to clean their toys. but then marius burst into the bathroom, shoving isak aside. “baby, it looks like we just kissed too hard for a little bit. ‘cheer up! a hickey from kenickie is like a hallmark card,’” he quoted in his best american accent. this actually made maja cry so isak excused himself and went to get more alcohol.
eventually yousef was tasked with getting mutta and mikael home. marius gave maja a piggy back ride down four flights of stairs and across the city. they found kari anne had removed her pants and crawled into their bed, so they left her there. sana, even, and elias collapsed onto the couch and giggled their way through a nonsense conversation the way siblings do. isak put the food away, got water for them all, and then joined them on the floor with his giant pillows. even found grease on the tv and they watched and sang along with the few bits they knew. then isak fell asleep, his fingers wrapped lightly around even’s ankle and his head resting against even’s knee.
29 notes · View notes
heavcnslyre · 4 years ago
Text
ricky bowen x reader series! part one
— starstruck au!
series masterlist, part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten
IN WHICH you reunite with your cousin, ashlyn, and the rest of your family in california, and your sister plots to find a way to meet the one and only ricky bowen.
WARNINGS swearing
NOTES you are 17, camilla (your sister) is 19, ashlyn caswell is your cousin and she is 17, your aunt debbie is your moms sister and you’re visiting your moms mom in california. this is very NOT CANON! not all of the mcs know each other and they don’t live in the same city. also my writing isn’t the best but i hope you enjoy anyways! let me know if you wanna be tagged in the next parts :)) also STREAM LIE LIE LIE
(y/n) = your name
text dividers from @writeyourmindaway !!
lowercase intended.
Tumblr media
“are you really watching this movie again?” you ask your older sister, camilla. she groans.
“yes! now move, it’s almost ricky’s scene.”
you roll your eyes and move out of her way, keeping your eyes on the screen. the movie was cheesy and you felt like you’ve seen it hundreds of times, since your sister was constantly watching it. she had an obsession with this guy— ricky bowen. he was an actor and a singer and any teenage girl you talk to loves him, but you didn’t really understand the hype. sure, he was attractive and talented but….
“i can’t wait to meet him, i’m sure he’s even nicer in person,” camilla gushed, staring at the screen.
“what do you mean meet him? we live in new york. he lives in california. not really someone you can just run into on the street.”
camilla rolled her eyes, not looking away from the screen. “we’re going to california in a couple weeks, dumbass. and i’m going to meet him, i just know it.”
“we’re going so we can visit grandma in glendale. you can’t just go running off to los angeles by yourself to somehow find him.”
“i’ll... figure it out. i’m nineteen anyways, i can do what i want. and glendale is really close to la, only like a 15 minute drive.”
“yeah, okay. good luck with that.” you watch another minute of the movie before turning away to go into the kitchen. you’re making yourself a snack when your mom comes in.
“hi hun,” she said, setting some groceries down on the counter.
“hi mom. what are these? i thought you went grocery shopping on saturday.”
“i did,” she said, starting to put a few groceries away. “this is stuff for california, i wanted to start shopping early. we also have to go find christmas gifts for your grandma, aunt, uncle, and cousin. easier if we get them here rather than there.”
“oh, aunt debbie is going? last time i texted ashlyn she said they weren’t going to make it out there this year,” ashlyn was your cousin, and she was 17, just like you. you and her had been close your whole life, but when your aunt, uncle and her moved to minnesota a few years ago, you drifted a bit. seeing her for holidays was one of your favorite things, you loved having your whole family together.
“yeah, well, apparently my mom has a new boyfriend and debbie decided she wanted to meet him so they made it work.”
you hum. “also heard that ashlyn’s still talking to the guy she met last summer in california.”
“that was probably also a deciding factor.” you and your mom laughed and you helped her put away the groceries.
Tumblr media
ashlyn: plane just landed!! when r u getting here?
you: leaving in about an hour!! see u soon omg
ashlyn: CANT WAIT!!!!
you heart her message and slip your phone into your pocket, excusing yourself to go find some last minute snacks from the shops at the airport. you had been sitting next to camilla and she was blasting ricky’s music in her headphones. she was so obsessed with him it was tiring.
eventually, your flight was called and you boarded the plane. you texted ashlyn that you were boarding and she sent back a party emoji, then proceeded to tell you to hurry up. luckily, the plane ride was only around four hours, and you had a really nice playlist that was the perfect length. your current favorite artist was nini salazar-roberts, who had recently released new music. she also happened to be ricky bowen’s girlfriend, and camilla refused to listen to her for whatever reason. you couldn’t really care less, nini had good music.
‘drivers license’ began to play and you drifted off to sleep. you woke to camilla shaking you harshly.
“c’mon, we’re landed,” she said and you nodded, stretching. she stood up and left her seat, not even waiting for you to catch up. you scoff and grab your things before jogging to catch up to her and your parents who she had rushed to. you were already feeling the change of time zones, leaving new york at one then arriving in california at two after a four hour flight.... super trippy.
as your parents went off to rent a car, you and camilla sat by each other. she went on her phone and was scrolling through ricky’s instagram. you rolled your eyes.
“have a plan on how to meet him yet?” you ask. she sighs.
“sort of. he’s performing tonight. at nini’s birthday party. i just need to find a way into the party.”
“yeah, because a random girl is going to be allowed into a famous persons party.”
camilla scoffs. “you don’t know, they don’t always have great security. i just have to convince mom and dad to let me go.”
“go where?” your dad asked as the two of them return, car keys in hand. camilla’s eyes widened slightly.
“go to the different malls. and beaches. with (y/n) and ashlyn. girl time,” she lied quickly. your mom nodded.
“not a bad idea, spend some time with your family. we’ll think about it. grandma mentioned having a car for you to take.”
“awesome!” camilla squealed. she turned to you and made a ‘i-can’t-believe-they-just-agreed-to-that face’ and you laughed.
“c’mon girls. time to get going, everyone’s waiting for us.”
Tumblr media
“(y/n)!” ashlyn squealed, running out of your grandmas house as soon as you closed your car door. you grinned and ran towards her, hugging her tight.
“ashlyn i’ve missed you so much!”
“i’ve missed you! i have so much to tell you!”
you raised your eyebrow at her. “about the boy you’re talking to?”
she blushed and mumbled a maybe before your grandma came out of her house, her boyfriend following close behind. today was the first time anyone was meeting him, and you were pretty excited.
you hugged your grandma tight and she introduced you to her boyfriend, kevin. he greeted you all and although he seemed a bit awkward at first, he seemed like a good guy.
soon enough, you were in the room you were sharing with both camilla and ashlyn. camilla was not excited to hear that the three of you were sharing, but your grandma assured her that the room was more big enough for all of you, and it would be nice for you all to spend time together — get into the christmas spirit. camilla mumbled under her breath that that was bullshit, but your grandma didn’t seem to hear her.
as camilla was out in the kitchen with your family, you and ashlyn sat on your bed as she scrolled through social media.
“ashlyn! tell me about this boy you’re talking to!” you exclaimed suddenly. she laughed at your sudden outburst but put her phone away immediately and turned towards you with a big smile on her face.
“oh my gosh (y/n) he’s the best. we’ve been texting and facetiming everyday this year. i honestly can’t wait to see him later, i feel like i’ve been waiting years to finally see him again.”
you grinned. you don’t think you’d seen ashlyn this happy in a long time. “when are you seeing him tonight? what are you doing? do you know what you’re going to wear?”
“oh, jeez (y/n). one at a time,” she teased. “i’m meeting him at this club. it’s his best friends girlfriends birthday, and he invited me to her party. and i do have a few ideas but i wanted you to help me out.”
“absolutely i’ll help!! am i going to be able to meet him while we’re here?”
“yeah, i don’t see why not. he’s talking about going to vienna to go to the beach, i’m sure it’d be fine if you tagged along.”
“if i tag along and third wheel,” you both laughed. “kidding. i’d love to go!”
“good. because i wasn’t going to let you say no.” she stands up and stretched. “now help me figure out what to wear tonight.”
142 notes · View notes
afoolnottoloveu · 4 years ago
Text
moonlight ♡
Summary: Spencer wants to go to sleep, but Reader doesn’t wanna break tradition (WC: 1.6k) {Masterlist <3}
Pairing: Spencer Reid x (intended she/her but technically gender neutral)!Reader (could be read as platonic or romantic!!)
TW: none!
A/N: i was supposed to post this on the 29th.. we dont talk about it its okay its fine everythings all good, I ALMOST FORGOT thank you to gracie for beta reading this!! she’s the first one on the taglist at the end if you wanna check out her amazing work as well mwah, n e ways enjoy :0
Playlist Pairing: it’s not a singular song this time, listen to the inspo playlist here! 🌘
_
You rushed up the stairs, praying to some deity that you would catch him before he sent himself to bed or was too immersed in some book to answer the door. JJ had called you 7 hours ago, so it wasn’t surprising that you somehow didn’t notice the time passing, plus the fact you had to get gas for your little trip.
Rapping at the door insistently, you were delightfully startled when Spencer opened the door only a few moments later. He was still in his work slacks and button up but tie-less. A quick glance behind him and you could see he had been making himself tea, and the satchel by his feet couldn’t have been dropped more than 10 minutes ago.
“Peanut?”
You were too elated that you had caught him to respond, instead opting to attach yourself to his torso. “You’re back! Oh my gosh, I was so worried you wouldn’t make it back in time, but luckily JJ called me that you were getting back today, but that was over like 7 hours ago, and then I got worried I wouldn’t make it here before you went to bed--” you rambled, but Spencer quickly brought you back down to Earth by removing you from his torso.
“Y/N! What’re you doing here?”
“We’re going on a drive, duh!” you said, before grabbing his wrist and making it halfway out the door before being pulled back.
“Now? I just got home from two back-to-back cases, and it’s almost midnight.”
“Spence, we can’t break tradition now! Unless Mr. Eidetic Memory forgot what tomorrow is--” you interrupt yourself with a very exaggerated gasp, earning an eye roll from Spencer.
“Of course I know what tomorrow is but--” Knowing he would only go on and on to list reasons why he shouldn’t come with you, you used your last resort, the “puppy dog eyes.” All Spencer did was stare at you, both of you knowing fully well that he was capable of resisting, but he didn’t like to. After a whole minute of unnecessary intense staring at each other, Spencer let out a groan and turned around to walk away, which you thought meant that he was going to bed. Instead, you were pleasantly surprised when you heard him half-yell from across his apartment, “I’m just getting my keys!” You squealed excitedly, knowing what was ahead of you both that night.
~
Your car was small, a basic silver Toyota corolla you named Carrie. She smelled of gas and was decked out with teddy bear head pillows and keychains that you asked Spencer to buy, hanging from the rearview mirror, (but only from the cool states). You even kept a tan knitted blanket in Carrie, which Spencer was now wrapped in.
You couldn’t help but notice Spencer’s infatuation with the moon tonight, as he took a long sip from one of his two cups of hot cocoa you guys had picked up on the way.
“Is it a full moon?”
“No,” he said--not in a rude way, just quietly and quickly, like he didn’t want to take his focus away from the moon or it might disappear.
So, you let him be. He was most likely tired, and despite tomorrow, which most people would be restless for, he probably just wanted rest. You almost felt guilty, but your tradition was important to you, and you could only hope that it was important to him as well. 
“Did you know the full moon is one of the most powerful symbols in astrology? It can represent one’s emotional instincts, habits and private aspects of one’s personality. It’s said that while the sun sign of someone represents their head, their moon sign represents their heart. Though, most astrologists say the moon is heavily compulsion-based. Similarly, someone’s sun sign depicts their actions, but their moon sign depicts their reactions,” he told you, still gazing, almost longingly at the moon.
“I didn’t take you for an astrology type of guy, Doctor.”
“I have knowledge in many areas, Y/N, I thought you knew this by now.” You snickered at the understatement. “If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression of something beautiful, but annihilating,” he quoted.
“Plath--are you flirting with me, Doc?”
“Never, peanut.”
You rolled both your eyes and the windows of your car. Hopefully the blanket and cocoa was enough to warm him. All you wanted was to not blow out his eardrums as you turned up the music. Night Changes by One Direction was playing, and you reminisced on the fact that he originally had never heard of the band, causing your binge session, which consisted of watching their documentary and listening to all 5 of their albums straight. He told you he thought they were okay and he saw the appeal. What he didn’t tell you was that his favorite album was Midnight Memories, but if the way he was humming along to the song now was any evidence, you could’ve been a profiler.
You two listened to your playlist, made specially for the tradition, (Spencer insisted you always pick the music on these trips, since you weren’t very interested in classical piano) and besides the melodies, a comfortable silence encompassed the car for the most of the ride. As the road started to incline and your destination started getting near, you broke it.
“Can you believe-” you started, earning Spencer’s gaze from the sudden conversation, “Can you believe the audacity the calendar has, to change dates in the middle of the night, just like that, while we’re sleeping?” Spencer couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled out from him. “Like tomorrow… You’re gonna wake up and, and you’re gonna be one year older.” When you said this, you couldn’t help but steal a look at him. He wasn’t making eye contact, just fidgeting with his fingers, but the small smile was there.
“Just like that,” you finished, as you pulled onto the edge of a hill. 
When you showed up at his apartment the night you got your driver’s license, you found this spot. This was your guys’ cliff. The one you guys found on accident, when your car ran out of gas on your first night of the tradition. The same one you guys have had a handful of picnics at and late night rambles about both of your favorite things. Covered in the blanket of light that the moon so graciously provided, it was perfect, and it was both of yours.
Parked atop the hill, you turned off the car and turned to Spencer, who went back to admiring the stars. You were just about to tell him that you would be right back, but you decided he was a little busy, and so you quickly shuffled to grab the box he wasn’t aware was hiding in the trunk.
He finally noticed your disappearance when you came back with a lavender gift box in your lap and an excited smile on your face. “Oh Y/N, you know you didn’t--”
“Save it, Spence. Just open your gift,” you demanded, shoving it into his arms and the smile on your face only lingering. He rarely received real gifts, only for Christmas. You were essentially his only non work friend, and he told everyone at work that he never wanted nor needed anything.
He repeatedly blinked, yet carefully removed the lid. He first saw the small brown envelope which contained a gift card for the local coffee shop near his apartment. Underneath that and the matching lavender tissue paper, he found a tie of no other color than purple and two pairs of socks, one of colorful stripes and the other of baby tardises. (You knew nothing about Doctor Who, but he appreciated the references.) The whole time smiles adorned both your faces. The last item was a copy of The Alchemist. It was one of the main books you two had bonded over, and only a few weeks ago, someone had spilled coffee on their copy. Spencer was against buying another one, saying he could literally recite it in his head word for word if he ever wanted to again, but you stubbornly insisted that it didn’t have the same sentiment, (and of course you were right).
He took the book out the box and held it by the spine as he flitted through the pages, taking note of the annotations, your annotations. When done, he closed it and only opened the cover, finding your heartfelt message. 
Dear old dear old Spence,
I know you’re probably gonna read this in .02 seconds, and probably right in front of me at that. Unless we broke tradition. But I trust that I convinced you. (It was the eyes, wasn’t it?) Regardless, I wanted to wish my very, very best friend a happy birthday. You alone are so strong for going through all that you’ve gone through, stuff that no one should have to even imagine. You are one of the strongest people I know. You need to know that I’m proud of you, Spencer. I’m beyond grateful for you, for having such a caring, resilient, and just incredible friend as you. I hope I don’t need to remind you that I will be here for you, through anything and everything. See you in 500 years :)
Love, with all my heart, Peanut
In only a handful of seconds, he shut the cover once again, and the happiness (and slight gleam) in his eyes became painstakingly evident. “This is your copy?” He asked, mostly rhetorically, because he knew it was. At this point, he was lightly sniffling between words. “Thank- thank you, peanut,” 
“It’s no problem Doc,” you smiled and lightly punched him on the shoulder, “happy birthday, Spencer. I’m glad we didn’t break tradition.” And by the look on his face, well- you were no profiler, but you could safely assume that he was just as glad.
-
Taglist: @bxbyspxncer @goldenxreid @prettyboy-reid @rottenearly @rainsong01
156 notes · View notes
tundrainafrica · 4 years ago
Text
Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (15/17)
Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” And Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“
Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.
Note: Feedback is very much appreciated!
Link: AO3
Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
“Belated happy birthday.” That first greeting was underwhelming in the deafening silence.
The room had been strangely quiet and it had been that way since he first entered, a far cry from the air during their past sessions. Shela should have waved one hand as he closed the door behind him. Even before he got to the seat, she should have been throwing multiple questions in succession.
What else did you get written?
Anything happening in school?
How’s Hange?
Oddly enough, Shela had only followed him with her eyes as he entered the room. The silence had felt like something pounding in his ears and her gaze had become something worth trifling his own consciousness with.
To top it all off, it had ended so anticlimactically with one greeting that Levi was left utterly confused as he sat on the chair in front of her.
What do you want her to do? Levi found himself asking silently as he matched Shela’s stare with his own.
Her blue eyes though were still warm, her eyes wide with what could have been curiosity. Levi started to suspect that it had all been a figment of his imagination that only a while ago they were watching and observing. Even as he settled on his seat, he sensed there were still questions up in the air that Levi could have grasped if he reached hard enough.
“Is that why you called me here? A free birthday session?” Levi asked.
“I just thought it was a good first greeting.” Shela’s voice was casual, innocent, and almost annoying.
Something wanted to burst out from inside him. That excuse of a greeting had only done the bare minimum to help it. In fact, it had done worse. It poked at him, whispering to him to figure out for himself what the hell that something was..
He was in no mood for a guessing game though. And he hadn’t been for the past few weeks. “Then why did you call me?” He asked. It had been a tall order to match her gaze, to come up with the right answers to questions she hadn’t even asked yet.
Shela shrugged. “I just wanted to check on my favorite patient.”
“I haven’t been your patient in a while.”
“We had scheduled sessions. You just didn’t go to them.”
“I was busy…. Besides, don’t you have anything better to do than chase one patient?”
Shela raised one eyebrow. “Don’t you have anything better to do than to come here? You had a choice to answer that message and believe me, you’re free to leave if you want to Levi.” She gestured her hands towards the door in one long exaggerated movement.
One movement that only served to sink Levi deeper into the sofa chair. In those few seconds as Levi leaned back, he saw once again the gradual shift in her gaze from something innocent to something cold and observing, and it was as if she was studying some sort of a specimen. And he was the specimen.
He was certain that was the exact same gaze he felt as he went through the door. But it wasn’t at all unfamiliar. Those had been the eyes she gave after all when she had asked the precise questions that broke the icebergs inside him into chunks instead of winnowing through the hard surface.
Why did that gaze in particular have him tense up at that exact moment? Levi didn’t have to wait too long for an answer though.
“You haven't written in a while,” she said.
“I deleted it.”
Shela didn’t look too surprised though. “Why?” She asked.
“It just seemed like a useless thing to do.”
“Why would you say it was useless?
“I was wasting a lot of time with it.” “So you did continue writing after our last meeting.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Just a guess… You only deleted the file a few weeks ago so it must mean you were thinking about it.”
Levi’s eyes widened and soon, he was starting to rack his brain for an explanation. “I don’t remember sharing you the file…”
“Hange told me what happened.”
“So you asked her about me?”
Shela shook her head. “No Levi, she approached me. She was worried about you.”
Hange. Levi found himself taking a glance at his phone in the silence that followed, the third message from the top of his inbox. Last touched weeks before.
He had decided to spend the holidays and his birthday back home. He liked to tell himself that he had only done that because with his hectic student-athlete schedule the past few years, he never had the chance to spend more than three days worth of holidays back home. When at home though, all he had done was lock himself in his bedroom for days on end.
Levi couldn’t convince himself for long. He had only gone home to avoid Hange, to avoid any reminder of the past few months and to avoid the almost nagging regret at having deleted the file.
With the file gone, he had felt like something was missing, painfully missing.
“And I’m concerned about what’s going on between you two,” Shela said.
“You’re paid to be concerned.”
“Oh? So you think I only became a therapist to get paid? Believe me Levi if I didn’t care I wouldn’t have called you here today. I could have gotten another patient and have been paid this extra hour.”
“Then why are you here? Why did you ask me to come here?” Levi felt stinging behind his eyes and a knot in his throat as he spoke up. A part of him actually contemplated leaving at that moment, yet it had been brushed away so quickly by something else, an odd feeling of desperation. He wanted something from her. Hell, he wanted something but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was.
“I told you, I was worried and I wanted to make sense of this with you,” Shela answered. The answer had been underwhelming to say the least especially with the way she narrowed her eyes at him.
And if Levi hadn’t been so desperate for any sort of closure, for that particular reaction he so looked for, maybe he would have just stood up and left.
Shela wasn’t done though. “Are those memories trapping you?”
Memories? Since when had it been about memories? “What memories?”
“Memories of Commander Hange. Captain Levi,” she said confidently, as if they were her memories to begin with. She spoke in such a way that she could have even been talking about real people. Very real people.
Such confidence, such forcefulness and her attempt to shoehorn all that into his reality sent a sudden sting through his chest. If Commander Hange was real, that meant she really died, that meant she really burned alive up there in the sky.
Levi would have preferred that image to have just been a figment of his imagination. “They’re stories.”
“Yet for a while you wanted to believe they were memories right? So what happened in between Levi? What did I miss?”
“I realized… They weren’t real…”
Shela let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re still trying to deny it huh? You’ve always been difficult to crack…” She cleared her throat. “So, Hange told me, the commander died. Then you deleted the file and now you don’t wanna talk about it right?”
Levi didn’t reply.
Shela continued to speak, seeming unfazed. “Here is something I noticed about you. When you injured your knee, your first instinct had been to insist you’re okay then soon you shut up and find something else to cling to--- writing. When writing started to hurt, suddenly you decide to delete the document then tell me everything’s fine. What are you gonna do now? You’re gonna find a new hobby?”
Academics, jumping. He thought to himself. Levi had spent the past few days isolated in his room back home, finishing his own thesis and following the jumping tournaments of his own teammates. As if there was much else to do anyway.
Shela rested her chin on her hands and stared straight ahead. Her eyes seemed to focus on something behind him, as if the answers were found beyond the wide window behind him. “I started to think to myself… Why did Hange’s death of all things hurt you enough to cause that same grief? I read your story, you could have mourned Erwin’s death, you could have mourned your Petra's death, mourned Isabel or Farlan’s death. Why Hange’s? Why did she push you to the edge enough to delete the file?”
“It built up,” Levi answered. That was the most natural explanation right? Or at least the most natural he could think of.
Shela nodded, seeming satisfied with the answer. “Let’s move on to the next question then. Do you think that Hange’s death was any special? If there was something that made it the tipping point in the first place?”
“Can’t a tipping point be something small?”
Shela shook her head. “Tipping points can be small I agree but remember, when you told me you weren’t going to write anymore? It was as if you knew what would be happening next. You looked terrified.”
Somewhere along the way, the remnants of Shela’s gentle facade had completely fallen, replaced by something stone cold, yet confident and almost mocking. Levi was starting to get a little more irritated at such assumptions. Regardless of whether they were true or not.
“So tell me Levi, what makes Hange so special? What made Captain Levi so hesitant to write the next part? Then what made this Levi here want to delete it soon after writing it?”
Levi only had to look behind him, at the sky just outside the window to articulate it for himself. It was surprisingly easy to grasp. It was a simple feeling after all that never left. “It hurt,” he admitted. He could have said more but he had found himself at a loss for words a second later as he imagined the rumbling before him and that one silhouette that disappeared into the blue.
“And if you’re that invested in Hange’s death. I’m sure Erwin’s death, your special squad’s death, should have hurt as much right?”
“They hurt too,” Levi added. He started to become a little more aware of himself. They hurt too but as much as Hange’s death? Not enough for sure to even have him consider deleting the file.
“Then why didn’t you delete the file if they hurt? From what I could tell Captain Levi was inseparable from Erwin.”
Levi let his eyes fall to the empty coffee table in front of him, searching for something worth a distraction among the pockmarks of the wood. Shela’s eyes were getting sharper by the second.
“I’ll ease you into my theory slowly and feel free to tell me if I’m wrong...you and Hange were inseparable right?”
Captain Levi and squad leader Hange Zoe. They were from different teams but they did hang out a lot together. With that quick recall, Levi nodded.
“And you lost a lot of people in your life… So I started to wonder, if Captain Levi spent so much time keeping his distance, being aloof, completely aware that the everyone could end up dead, why did he cling to Hange?”
“Captain Levi cared about a lot of people.”
“I wasn’t denying that Levi. I was asking you, why did he cling to Hange? Why were they inseparable? Attraction? Mutual Support? Love? All three at once?”
The last three words had been things Levi found himself musing over as she continued to talk. But then, he couldn’t figure out for himself the answer. “We couldn’t fall in love. There was a war.” Those words had come out on their own. He only realized seconds later that it didn't answer the question.
Shela gave him a cat-like grin. “We? Huh?”
Levi cleared his throat. “They---,” he corrected.
“Okay, you’re beating around the bush a little too much. I’ll tell you my theory and if you don’t make the effort to figure it out for yourself, this will be my assumption. You didn't think she’d die. You didn’t expect her to die so you took her for granted. Am I wrong, Captain Levi?”
“Took her for granted…” Levi almost spat out those words as he said it. “You can’t just assume that…”
“By take for granted, I meant ‘I can get past pain, death, loss, as long as she’s there’ and for what? You just assumed she was immortal didn’t you? That she couldn't die, since she's always been there. And so the moment she died, suddenly grief hit you like a bus.” She straightened herself up on the seat. “Maybe you thought you would have died first?” Shela pressed.
“I was dying in the woods. I thought she’d be the one to survive the whole time.”
“But you know, it’s not uncommon for people to be this way. To have this person there and just assume that person's immortal, or to think ‘as long as this person is here’ I’ll be okay. It’s only natural that humans find hope in the living. For example,a lot of parents do that too with their own kids and that’s why parents losing their kids are one of the most devastating cases of grief I’ve encountered…” She trailed off. “But I digress, There’s one question about you I’ve been exploring for a while and I’ve always wanted to ask. You might not know the answer yourself but it’s worth a try.” Shela paused and looked at him expectantly.
Even when he sat on her chair, frozen by her cold stare, he still managed to force a nod.
“Why do you remember? Why is Captain Levi forcing his own memories to live on? Unless he had some unresolved feelings right?”
Attraction? Mutual Support? Love? You took her for granted.
Even when moving, Levi let those words, those suggestions run free in his mind. The feeling, the ache in his chest, the weight on his shoulders and the knot at his throat that only evolved into some tremble in his lips. It was everything at once, Levi was sure.
Maybe, I took her for granted. Maybe I should have stopped her. Levi thought to himself. But he wasn’t going to say it out loud yet.
“And something tells me you don’t regret much Captain Levi Ackerman,” Shela said. The gentleness in her face was back. “But maybe if you allowed yourself to regret back then, maybe all these feelings of regret, grief… They wouldn’t have bundled up now, you wouldn’t be hurting like this. You didn't let yourself experience grief and loss… You didn’t let yourself regret even in your deathbed. Now, everything just comes pouring out in your next life because you just let it build up inside you?” She had phrased it as a question but as Shela enunciated those words, Levi couldn’t help but see deep thought in them, as if she had discerned and answered the question for herself already.
“How can you assume that?” Levi challenged. It was a weak attempt, at that point he was starting to get more and more convinced. It had just been a matter of reality pulling him away from an almost ethereal concept.
Soon, he did grasp it, the thing he had been looking for, that one feeling he had been desiring since the start of the conversation.
It manifested first as a knowing smile. And before Levi could respond, grip on to some decent comeback to her long winded tirade, he found himself hesitating, focusing instead on how his shoulders dropped and how the wind was knocked out of himself slowly and the quick movement as he shifted his weight to his hands pressed on the sofa.
“I’m not assuming how you feel. I’m laying out some information, coming up with a theory and leaving it in the air for you to decide whether it’s true or not.” She didn’t continue from there. Instead she dropped her clipboard on the table and walked towards one of the bookshelves, pulling out a blue binder.
“What if it's too detailed to pass up as a reasonable theory?” Levi managed to say. He found himself counting the lines on the wooden table in front of him. In a daze, he had been too distracted to reorganize for himself, Shela’s theory. And he started to even doubt his own ability to respond.
“I’ve been seeing other patients, I think I’ve encountered enough to make some fair guesses. Besides, I told you I’ve been studying reincarnation for a while.” She dropped the blue binder in front of him on the table. “But you still think it’s too detailed to be believable huh? What if I told you I experienced it too? That's why I know the details."
Levi could only stare at the blue binder. He only got so far as to hover his hand over it before he hesitated. He looked up at her, following her as she sat back on the chair in front of him.
“What are you waiting for?” She asked.
“Should I open this?”
“I wouldn’t have put it there if I didn’t want you to read it Levi,” She was looking at him expectantly as if she was excited for him to see what was inside.
Levi started to wonder why he even hesitated. Regardless, he still went at it slowly. The plastic cover on the binder was warm to the touch and for a second or so, he allowed himself to pinch at it, see where the plastic would give into the pressure.
Maybe he had been on that for a second longer than he should have. He was still hesitating. He was still nervous.
“What are you scared of? It’s a binder,” Shela said.
“What’s inside?”
“It’s my research on reincarnation.”
“For your PhD?”
Shela paused for a second before answering. “I created two pieces of writing for my PhD, something stomachable by the scientific body and something just for myself,” Shela explained. “Because I honestly don’t think anyone would have believed it either if I was telling them I was seeing very clear visions of a past life.”
Do you really believe these were memories from a past life? Levi muttered. For a second, he had wondered if he had said it loud enough for her to hear. But when he opened the binder, he quickly realized he didn’t need an answer.
The title of the work was generic, easily forgettable. But the subtitle underneath and the author’s name spoke to him in ways Levi couldn’t fully comprehend just yet. Comprehension came quickly after running his eyes over the title then the subtitle underneath
He read her name out loud. Her first name settled at the back of his mouth and he couldn’t be too sure if he had pronounced it correctly. But when he said it a second time, the name rolled off his tongue too easily, as if it was all too familiar. His mind had just taken a split second longer to process it.
From my past life? Levi thought to himself. At that point, he couldn’t be too sure. It had seemed like too distant of a memory. He never had to use her name with her after all. He only remembered her having taught him to pronounce it eons ago.
Her last name next to it was all too familiar, yet surprising. And Levi had little to no problem, saying it for himself, even when still recovering from that small bout of surprise.
“Ackerman’s my maiden name,” she explained. “And I’m sure you saw it already, my first name is a little old fashioned.” She didn’t seem so self conscious though, as if she was aware that many lives ago, she had been teaching him to say it back when it had been just the both of them in the underground city.
Levi said her whole name out loud again. As soon as he looked back up at her, putting name to face, he found himself transported back to that small room, running his hand over her curly black hair and locking gazes with those piercing cold blue eyes. Then, they were his only source of comfort, his sanctuary.
And he never did figure out if he said it right back then in the underground city. Just to make sure though, he read it aloud in front of her again, willing himself to say it clearly and firmly.
“Written by: Kuchel Ackerman.”
***
Bookends. That’s how it seemed at least. Levi had two pages written out by that night.
He had his earliest childhood memories up there, everything as visceral as possible from the sights, to the scents, to her touch. With not too much context though, his earliest memories stuck to him as comforting sensations more than anything. Within an hour of writing, he gave up and concluded that he never did remember much of it.
Right under those early childhood sensations, articulated to the best of his capabilities, were memories after Kuchel’s death, training to fight in the underground. Then, written below that were narrations on life after the war, his remaining years on a wheelchair, travelling around Marley, joining the peace ambassadors on occasional trips.
There was no transition between them, nothing more glaring than paragraph breaks.
They were two sections with little to no connection to each other. But Levi at least knew for himself, that in-between would have been those long winded narrations on his life in the survey corps and his life during the war against Marley.
For some reason, he wasn’t too bothered about the missing parts though. As if he had already accepted for himself that he made the decision to delete it.
Finishing what he started. That’s what it felt like and that’s all there was to it. Reading Shela’s own work after all had him somehow accepting that they were memories more than dreams.
Something that had to be immortalized somewhere/ The acceptance though that the grief, the loss and the pain were memories not dreams was slow going. The dreams had been painful, realizing they were someone’s reality, only aggravated it.
Kuchel’s words echoed in his head. The last questions she said before they separated that day. Back then, she had escorted him to the door of her office and they had stood there for a few minutes before parting ways.
Can you let it go?
I don’t even know what I’m trying to let go of. For all he knew, something died in him back in that day in Odiha. Consequently, there were emotions he couldn’t even access, as if part of life had ended for him in that single moment.
You can’t access or comprehend those emotions because you didn’t let yourself feel it. You didn't ride through it.
And she had pointed it out then. Captain Levi had never been the most emotional person because he had never allowed himself to feel.
That’s your homework. Ride through the pain, the loss, the grief, the regret. And when the time is right, you’ll be able to let it go. I know you will.
Opening the laptop wasn’t easy. Staring at the blank document sheet and deciding for himself the first words to say took ages longer than what he would have liked.
As soon as he had decided for himself that he was going to write though, everything came out so seamlessly. He only had to hover his hands over the keyboard, feel for the right keys, for them to start moving on their own. It turned out writing with little regard for grammar and punctuation or for unwelcome emotional reactions, was oddly liberating.
He had started off with bullet points but soon enough the sentences were too long and the bullet points were rendered useless. Eventually, he scrapped the bullet points altogether.
“There was a peace treaty,” Levi said aloud as he typed it out. “Armin and the others, they became peace ambassadors…”
“And Mikasa…” Levi trailed off as he remembered. She was back in Paradis, back in their old town of Shiganshina where Eren’s head was laid to rest. He thought back to Mikasa and for a second he almost felt guilty for even questioning her decision to stay with Eren. “If this was how it felt for you, I wouldn’t be surprised why you’d be hesitant to leave him,” Levi said, he leaned back on his chair, stretched out his good leg and stared blankly at the ceiling above him.
The pain was similar, he was sure. He had seen flashes of visiting an empty grave as he wrote. The white ceiling above him and the contrast it provided made those dark memories all the more vivid.
The face he had been longing to see though, as he stared at the grave then, was just a phone call away. And before he even noticed it himself, he had reached for the phone next to his laptop, turning it screen up.
He had no one else to call so her number and their message thread was still one of the first on his inbox. Even if he hadn’t opened it in weeks.
Of course, it would. Hange had sent messages multiple times the past few weeks..
December 23 8:15 AM
I heard you went home.
December 25 12:01 AM
Happy Birthday! :D
January 1 12:00 AM
Happy New Year! Wishing you a bright new year and a speedy recovery
January 3 6:21 AM
Wanna talk when you get back?
January 5 2:23 AM
Hey, I’m sorry about everything. I should have been more sensitive to your needs. Even if you don’t wanna meet after this, it’s fine. I had a great time working with you and I’ll remember these past few months :D. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
Just assure me please. Did you get to talk to someone? I hope you did. I was just concerned. But it doesn’t matter too much now. As long as you’re okay.
Levi didn’t scroll up past those last few messages. The rest had been paragraphs worth of apologies even he didn’t want to ponder.
Besides, there were more important things to him then, like finding the right words to say as a response to that latest message.
He sensed closure there. Yet, he wasn’t ready for closure. His mind was scrambling for some way to reopen the conversation then.
It was late at night though. Levi was exhausted and impatient. He was sure if he sent something and slept it off, he should wake up to a message the next morning.
So the message he sent then had been automatic, typical. It didn’t require too much thought to compose.
January 9 11:17 PM
Hey, when are you free to talk?
He decided then, he could leave it to his future self to come up with another response in the morning.
***
Levi’s sleep was light, light enough that the quick ping of his phone was more than enough to wake him up. He was awake enough to reach for his phone on the side table, pull it under the blankets with him and open his messaging application.
It wasn’t Hange who had messaged.
“Coach?” Levi muttered as he sat up in bed.
Sorry if this is pretty last minute. Mikasa agreed to meet at the track today this afternoon around 3-3:30. You think you could make it?
Levi typed a short text accepting the invite and sent it out.
He pulled at the curtains of his window. The sun was out already. He stared back at his phone at the upper right of the screen.
9:23 AM.
He was oddly disappointed. Other plans meant he didn’t have to think about the ignored message at the top of his inbox. He had sent the message at eleven last night. It had been almost twelve hours since then.
Was she taking a really long slumber? Or was she just ignoring him?
Nothing much to do until three so Levi opened his laptop and worked on his own thesis. Working on something as utterly boring and monotonous as a school requirement though didn’t make time run faster.
Levi was sure he had gone through at least fifty articles of doping cases among professional athletes. When he looked back at the clock though, he saw only two hours had passed.
He ordered lunch. Time went notably faster when he was just scrolling through his social media, yet excruciatingly slower still than what he was used to. And the main culprit? Hange’s online status and her activity on social media.
Hange was still liking photos which meant one thing: She was ignoring messages.
He went down to pick up his delivery from the dorm lobby and on the way up, he took a detour. All the way to Hange’s room on the other side of the building, a five minute walk for most people. For Levi it could have been ten minutes or it could have been ages. He still had that awkward gait which made the journey all the more frustrating.
The hallways were quiet but it wasn’t unexpected. School didn’t start for another two weeks. Hange’s room was along the quiet hallway and Hange had always been loud. So the stark contrast had been unsettling to say the least.
What do you expect her to do? Run down the halls screaming your name? He thought to himself. For some reason, that was what he was expecting and that was what he would’ve liked.
He took advantage of that silence. He padded lightly through the hallway, attempting to segregate the sounds of the creak of the floorboard with whatever he sounds he could make out from the rooms.
Nothing much. All silence. Of course it would be silent though, that wasn’t Hange’s room yet.
Her room was towards the end of the hall, the third to the last door to the right. Eventually he got tired of keeping his footsteps and his awkward gait light and he found himself scurrying--- at least to the best of his own injured abilities--- towards the door.
He willed himself not to make a sound. He wasn’t sure though if he had been the sneakiest.
He was still quiet enough at least to hear something. He had to press his ear to the door to hear it clearly, the rhythmic clacking of the keyboard, the sound of books hitting the desk and a loud yawn that had been very much Hange’s.
The loud yawn in particular sent a twinge up his spine and an ache in his chest and Levi had to swallow hard to get his bearings. He missed her.
He knocked on the door once. Then twice to make sure she heard it. Then he waited five long seconds for any response.
There was no response. He slapped the door. Still no answer.
Within a few seconds more, he started to get self conscious. She didn’t reply to his messages while being glaringly online. She was blatantly ignoring his knocks on the door. Did she actually want to see him?
And Levi was starting to notice the growling of his stomach. It was enough of a reminder that he hadn’t even had breakfast that morning.
A little disheartened, he made the journey back to his room.
***
The coldest point of winter was coming. Levi would have noticed it by just looking at the calendar. It had been a while since he stood outside long enough to let the cold sink deep under his skin.
And he was only reminded of such weather patterns when he stepped on to the open air track which was understandably empty. Two in the afternoon shouldn’t be too cold but that day in particular had Levi shivering, his teeth chattering in such an unfamiliar way.
That would have been expected. He didn’t spend much time outdoors anymore, Maybe that had explained that sudden, unfamiliar susceptibility to the cold. He could never be too sure though.
He scanned the field for any sign of Mikasa or his coach. What first caught his eye then had been the horizontal bar, set up where it always was. He hadn't returned to the field since his injuryand seeing the bar like it always had been, sent a wave of nostalgia and longing through him.
For a while, he was fixated and for a few seconds more, he vacillated between sitting on the bleachers or walking to the middle of the track where it was set up. Alone in the field though with nothing much else to do though, he opted to pass the time reminiscing
The bar was set high enough for Levi to have to reach up but still low enough for him to be able to grip it hard. It was cold to the touch. It was a fair distance away from him and it hovered over him, masquerading as something almost unattainable.
But maybe it was unattainable. Levi found himself strangely sad at the distance, still unable to fathom that only a few months ago, that bar had been a very easy height to clear.
“Hey… Your coach said you’d be here.”
Levi quickly turned towards the voice.
Mikasa stood before him in joggers and a sweatshirt. Her hair clipped back, red blotches on her cheek. Levi only had to listen to her breaths and notice the way she curled her lips as she took steady breaths to conclude that she had been running.
“Coach is training you now? In the middle of winter?”
She shook her head. “No, I wanted to try out your track for myself. He left the club room and the equipment room open and told me to just try it out while he goes out to check on your team.”
“What made you change your mind?”
She avoided his gaze. “To be honest I’m still not completely sure about this yet. Your coach knows I’m not. But I thought I’d try it out, get to know your school more.”
“It’s a good choice,” Levi said.
For a second, the two were silent. Levi chose that moment to look back up at the bar in front of him but he could see from his peripherals, Mikasa still hadn’t looked away from him. So he waited.
She spoke up eventually. “Hey, about what happened at the diner… I’m sorry about that. I know I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I heard about your injury a while back, even before we met. Even if I don’t like jumping that much either, I think it would have hurt too…”
I’m fine. That had been his first instinct and he had opened his mouth ready to say it.
That’s your homework. Ride through the grief, the loss, the pain. Kuchel’s voice tore into his train of thought.
Will that actually help? He had been riding through that grief last night as he wrote, he had let it wash over him then. If he had been a little more introspective, he would have realized although it did hurt, it wasn’t a heavy, crushing type of hurt. It was a pain that still allowed him motions.
It granted him enough control to still function as a person. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m not.” But it was still hard to admit. “It takes time,” Levi added as he looked back up at the horizontal bar and behind it the clear blue sky. The color blue was bright, warm yet melancholic.
Mikasa didn’t reply. Her stare though seemed more focused. When Levi looked at her, made eye contact, comprehension washed over him. He knew she understood. And he caught that comprehension quickly like some contagion.
He spoke up again. “Eren means a lot to you huh?”
“We grew up together, lived along the same street. We went to the same school since kinder. And since we were young, he'd get agitated a lot, pick a lot of fights and I always had to look out for him.” Mikasa put one hand behind her neck and craned her neck to look up at the sky. “I almost hesitated to even try jumping since I wouldn’t be able to protect him as much anymore…”
“Why did you start jumping then?”
“After I got scouted in sophomore year, Eren convinced me to try it. He was the one who wanted me to widen my world.”
“And he talked to you again about this?”
“He and Armin did. They told me to consider this.”
“Then it should be an easy decision.”
Mikasa smiled. “I know it’s supposed to be an easy decision. But how I feel about Eren doesn’t make it easy.. I’ve known Eren my whole life and don’t get me wrong, I’ve never lost him but... Somehow, I can imagine how it would feel like to lose him. So I don’t wanna let go.”
“But losing people, losing things that are precious to us is a fact of life. We’re gonna deal with it anyway. Besides, you’re not losing him, he’ll make college in a year or so.”
“He won’t make Paradis University.”
“You’ll have him on the weekends.”
“But will I be able to handle that set up?” Mikasa met his gaze again. She never lost Eren or so that was what she said.
Will I be able to handle it? Yet why was Levi seeing grief in her eyes? Why did such a strong wave of comprehension hit him almost violently in that moment where their eyes met?
Empathy? It was an easy answer to pick up for himself. But maybe it ran deeper than that, because suddenly, Levi was aware of the ground under him, the cold air caressing him, the loud rustle of leaves. He was feeling everything at once. And with it, he felt the twinge in his stomach, the pang in his chest, the knot in his throat.
The grief never left. The loss never left. And the pain gripped him tightly then. Letting himself feel it had left him with a strange bout of confidence, and a wave of liberation that seemed to stick and when Levi spoke up again, he wondered if he was speaking for himself or for her.
“You won’t know if you can handle it until you ride through it yourself.”
Mikasa seemed convinced.
His coach had arrived a few minutes after the conversation, incessantly apologizing about the traffic. The usual pleasant exchange followed.
“How are you?”
“Slowly learning to walk again, focusing on academics.,” Levi answered. “How’s the team?” They were preparing for nationals. He didn’t need an answer. There were still things his coach knew though which couldn’t be researched and he was still invested in any response his coach could give.
“They’re preparing for nationals, training in the indoor gym.” The indoor gym a few minute car ride from their campus. Levi had been training there every winter and it was easy to picture the drills they were probably doing then.
It soon evolved into some unnecessary athlete propaganda which Levi surmised was to entice MIkasa.
“The scouts for the national team have been watching Elijah closely. He’ll probably be getting an invitation soon after nationals are over,” he said, soon after the pleasantries had died out into an awkward silence. Greg turned to Levi. “They were asking about you too. You’d have gotten the invite. No one’s forgotten about you.”
Was that for Mikasa? Or for him? Soon, Levi started to ask. Was that supposed to cheer him up? Levi couldn’t gauge intention though and he found himself looking away as he started to feel the beginnings of a loss of control.
Mikasa may have sensed it. Or at least sensed that moment as a good time to speak up. “Could you tell me more about your athletics program? Levi told me a lot about his experience here and I think I might just be interested.”
The digression and the exchange that followed was quicker and more enthusiastic than something Levi would have easily caught on to. Suddenly Greg was shifting between enthusiasm and relief. And it evolved to some offer to tour her of the school. Then some mentions about dinner.
Levi though was making excuses. The campus was too wide for him to walk through injured. It was getting a little too cold. And with the peak of winter nearing, it might just even get dark in the next hour or so. His main reason for staying wasn’t among those though.
He had been sneaking glances at the bar and at the blue sky behind it. While the field was empty, while the school was lifeless and while the bar and the equipment was set up in front of him, he realized he might just have some unfinished business on the field.
“You guys go ahead. I’ll fix up the equipment here.”
“You sure?” Greg asked as he looked pointedly at Levi’s knee.
“It’s the least I can do. Besides, it won’t be too heavy after I disassemble it.” Or at least it wasn’t so heavy when Levi had carried it before. He turned to Mikasa. “Go ahead, enjoy the day,” Levi said, nodding his head reassuringly.
It didn’t take them much convincing. Greg was too excited and Mikasa started to seem eager as well to see the school.
And Levi wanted them to leave. Alone in the empty field with the equipment all set up, brought forth within him some unwanted feelings yet feelings which Levi wanted to process for himself one last time.
That’s your homework. Ride through the pain, the loss, the grief, the regret.
He was riding through it already and he was at least trying to find hope in that dreadful journey that left him almost desolate. Along the way, as he started to process the emotions, he fixated on the view of the bar, and maybe just a flicker of someone flying through the blue sky behind him. He soon stumbled upon one conclusion, one conclusion that Kuchel had suggested yet he had never really thought too much for himself until that moment.
At that moment, Levi let the emotions speak for him.
Regret is an emotion. Even if you say you don’t regret, even if you come out as the type not to regret, for sure you’ve regretted things right? It was a feeling you willingly chose to brush away. Kuchel had said then, as they had gone through her case study.
Levi had done his part to brush it away, to find something else to entertain him and to only hope that the emotions leave. But they never left. The aches that came with the view in front of him only proved it to him even before, and in that moment, it continued to prove it to him much faster and in more numerous ways than he could count.
So how do I stop feeling this?
You don’t. You can’t control how you feel. You can only control how you process it. The emotions leave when they want.
But when the time is right, you’ll be able to let it go...Before you know it, you’ll find closure.
Around that time, she had mentioned the word 'closure'. But closure had always been a vague word. It manifested as something different for everyone else. Levi soon realized as he started to move, it was a word that could never actually be contained to a black ink on white paper, or to spoken word.
For Levi, it had manifested at something he only sensed as something hazy. He thought he had control of his body then but along the way, it had felt like his body had assessed it for himself, the circumstances that he could only take advantage of at that moment.
He was alone in an empty field, the empty field he hadn’t visited in ages. The equipment was all set up for him. And if he closed his eyes then, allow himself to ignore the biting cold wind, the bare trees. If he just focused on the bar and the blue sky behind him, he could pretend it was summer again and before that, spring, and before that the last summer… Every single season—hell—every single day he had spent jumping over the bars.
His body was moving on its own, as if it understood the concept of closure before he did. He made his way to the clubroom.
I never did clean up after the injury. Levi thought to himself. His spare clothes, his spare pair of shoes and his face towel were all still in the locker, as they had been every time before. It was surprising, he had assumed someone would have cleaned it up.
He didn’t think too much of it though. There were other things he was raring to do. At that moment, he was just grateful nobody had half a mind to remind him, or he probably wouldn’t have been able to go through with his plans.
Levi put on his shoes, his right then his left. He changed to jogging pants and to the sweatshirt left in his locker. And for a second he did some test movements with it.
It was baggier than what he would have wanted, but he wasn’t in a competition, Levi could be as lenient as he wanted about it.
Beggars can’t be choosers. Levi thought to himself as he rolled up the jogger on his left leg and stared at the braced knee underneath. He could walk, he was sure. Yet just imagining himself removing the brace, left an unsettling feeling inside him.
He ended up pondering it for a while, a while longer than he was aware of. Soon enough, he decided on wearing it on the way back to the track, to just give his knee time to prepare.
On the way back, he passed by the equipment storage and he found himself thinking a lot harder about it. He looked back to the equipment in the field. Mikasa had mentioned setting it up. She had set up the pad underneath, but it had been an incomplete set up. Or so that was what Levi recalled.
There’s supposed to be a pad on top. Levi recalled. He opened the storage room to see the weather cover and the top pad, strewn on the side.
Lugging both the weather cover and the top pad would take two trips. Levi approximated. But did he have the time for two trips?
His coach was unpredictable. And just the idea of them coming back to catch him attempting such, was something Levi didn’t want to imagine then. So he folded up the weather cover and dragged the mat behind him, ignoring the uncomfortable twinge in his knee.
“Hey, you need help?”
Levi hadn’t expected anyone to be there. And of all people, Armin? “What are you doing here?”
“Mikasa told me she’s going out to dinner with your coach so she asked me to pick up her things from the club room…” Armin started. “I was here on campus already so…”
Levi softened his gaze, only realizing when Armin had trailed off quickly, avoiding his stare that he had probably been glaring. “You’re meeting Hange?” He asked, willing his voice to mellow.
“She’s been busy with thesis and I offered to help her out… So I’m picking up the stuff and will be meeting her soon after,” he explained. “But I arrived a bit early and I have some extra time." He offered his hand out to help.
Armin was extra hands. Extra hands meant time could go faster. And for sure, he could get Armin to hide his next set of plans.
“So, why are you bringing this to the field?” He asked, as they walked along the dirt path to the field.
Levi shrugged. “I guess I wanna try jumping one more time before I leave it for good.”
“But…”
Levi didn’t have to look at him to know what he wanted to suggest. “You’re thinking about my injury huh? It’ll be fine. I just wanna get a few jumps in.”
“It might be better to wait a few months?” Armin suggested.
“The team is training outside. The field is empty. The equipment is all set up and I’m graduating soon. When else but now?” Levi asked. Thinking back to it soon after he asked though, he could have waited a few months, maybe go back to school to just try it out one last time. But as they turned the corner and as the field opened up before him, Levi only had to look once again at the pale blue sky that stretched endlessly behind the field to be reminded, it ran deeper than that.
“You can wait a few months… I’m sure your coach---” Armin started, as if he had read his mind.
“When else, but now?” Levi pressed. The sky was starting to make its slow transition to purple, then. Orange and bright red were the next colors beyond that. And Levi started to see some of the steam, the colossal titans that marched forward slowly but surely. That one flicker in the sky though, caught his attention. She was concealed behind steam, and flashes of orange and bright red.
How much time did he have?
Armin took a deep breath. “This might sound weird. I’m probably the last person you wanna get advice from… I’m younger than you… and we just met… But Hange probably just rubbed off on me but you know, I guess I’m worried. I heard about your injury months ago, before we even met, Mikasa told me… It was in the rumor mill of the high jump community.”
So what?
“It must have been devastating huh? To lose something like that... Something that has been a constant in your life for five years even ten years…”
Devastating. Was that the right word?
“You must have regretted a lot…”
Did I let myself regret it? He willed himself not to regret then. It was a conscious decision to let the emotions flow free. Soon he had to admit— albeit uncomfortably— he regretted it.
“Then I thought of Mikasa. I actually talked to her about this, about Eren. And you know I was able to convince her that there is a life beyond Eren.”
“So let me predict, you wanna say there’s life beyond jumping?” Life beyond Hange?
Armin nodded. “I know it sounds generic. You probably heard it a million times before but… That was what Hange told us when you left…”
Levi didn’t have to listen to Armin quote it to hear it in her voice.
But… You understand, don’t you? Everyone you meet will be parted from you one day. I know it’s difficult to accept. It’s hard to stay sane, living like that. It’s painful. So painful. I know that.
But even so… We need to move forward…
Armin continued. “Move forward… because the world was wider than Eren. And I guess in your case, the world is wider than jumping. Now that I think about it, maybe you and Mikasa were facing similar things.”
It’s hard to stay sane, living like that. It’s painful. So painful. But we need to keep moving forward.
“Keep moving forward… But that’s what I did,” Levi said.
“But when Mikasa brought up the injury, I noticed it and i saw it still hurt you a lot— I’m sorry if I’m just making wild guesses here. I might be wrong.”
“What else did Hange say?” Levi asked. “After ‘keep moving forward?”
It was easy for Levi to imagine her saying that.
There is liberation in riding the pain through, accepting it will happen and just believing you can get past it.
There is liberation in everything. It’s just a matter of believing that happiness will come again.
“I reflected on it too, with Mikasa…” Armin added as they settled on the lowermost bleachers, closest to the bar. “And I thought of something… What if, the reason it’s so painful is because a part of us dies when we lose something. If Mikasa decides to leave Eren, part of her will die, the part of her that clung to him, her childhood, being with him everyday. They might just fade into distant memories the moment she decides to go to university. But there’s a life beyond him. And exchange for whatever part dies with her, her world widens..."
Levi nodded, glancing subtly at the view of the horizontal bar, the sky was shifting to a bright red behind it.
“Something inside her will be reborn. Maybe like reincarnation? There’s our college life waiting after high school, then our work life after that our family life, then retirement then maybe even other lives after that… Maybe even after we die... There's another life waiting for us.”
Levi shrugged. “You might be right,” he said. There was nothing much else to say. He stood up again and approached the landing pad, dragging that extra pad behind him.
“That’s it. After jumping, after whatever we’re doing now, we’re gonna graduate, move on to our next life. Then we just trust that things will get better, we encounter new things, new people to keep us going. We’ll find something else to keep us going.”
Then an old part of us dies and we’re reincarnated as a new person. That was the last sentence, Levi remembered Armin saying, or so that was the message he remembered.
He couldn’t be too sure about Armin’s exact words. Armin didn’t follow behind him either and his voice started to fade into the background.
Even before Armin’s words could whittle into nothing though, the orange sky started to scream at him, the horizontal bar, only nearer, started to goad him in. “That’s why I wanna enter that new life with no regrets,” Levi said.
Eventually Armin gave up.
Or Levi might just have gotten better at ignoring protests. He got better at creating that world, that consisted of just him, the field, the horizontal bar and the sky. The sky that was still a bright orange, the last flash of light before night blankets it. He didn’t have much time.
So Levi gave up on putting the pad on top. He gave up on the weather cover. He unwrapped his brace and threw it towards the side of the field..
Just one jump. The inhibitor within him promised. It sent a buckle through his knee and a light twinge of pain. It could have been stronger than a twinge, but Levi refused to feel it..
There’s just one thing I need to do for myself and I’ll close this part of my life for good.
Captain Levi never regretted. Or so that was what he had willed himself to do before. But everybody would regret even at least once in their life. Levi was part of that everyone and he had kept his own regret mum inside him. It festered into a wound, then to a scab and eventually it grew to shackles that kept him from moving freely, from moving on.
Ride the pain, the loss, the grief.
So he let the shackles do their work, he let the weight slow him down as he walked towards the starting line.
For a few seconds more, he found himself having to catch his breath as the sun made its way down from the horizon. It glowed a bright red, and along the way it released flashes of orange and yellow.
Soon enough, it was just him and the sky. Then him, the sky and someone else.
“Commander Hange Zoe,” he muttered quietly, yet still loud enough to hear it himself. That word, that name, only made that flicker up in the sky a little more lucid.
The silhouette that flew up in the mountains. The silhouette that flew past the buildings and up at the colossal titans.
That silhouette that burned into nothing up in the sky.
The rustle of the leaves, the biting cold and the distant footsteps though still threatened to pull him out of that world he created for himself. With the sun starting to disappear before the horizon, before the bright red--- the flames--- burned through the flicker. Before the flicker fell to the ground and burned out, Levi knew he would have to move.
Why don’t you want to jump? Levi asked himself. His knees were still buckling. The footsteps were still moving. He could get caught soon if he didn’t do it then.
When else will I be able to do this? Levi pressed, an attempt to push his body forward. His body was starting to disobey, or at least the scabbed knee, his joints, the remnants of bruises in his neck from each painful fall that led up to his injury. The biting cold and the pain at his throat from breathing the dry winter air made him even doubt his ability to run.
Certainly, he was in no shape to jump. But he wasn’t giving up just yet.
Eventually, he did find the right question, the one that had him recalling, then feeling everything at once. And it got his body moving.
Why did you start jumping?
I had dreams. I dreamt I could fly and when I jumped, there was this sense of nostalgia…
Letting himself name the emotions for what they were, he soon realized, the comfort that came with jumping wasn’t borne of nostalgia. It was borne of regret.
Captain Levi had one regret which he never entertained. One regret that ran so deep it could never be summarized with a single question.
Should I have stopped her?
Should I have run after her?
Should I have fought with her?
Back then, he never did go after her. so he never found answers. But in that split second flying feet up in the air with just the view of the blue sky above him, he always found hints to it.
So he continued to jump, higher and higher.
You won’t find the answer, no matter how high you jump. Something inside him nagged.
But I wanna leave this part of my life with no regrets. “I wanted to save you,” Levi said. It was only himself who could have spoken or heard him. So maybe he had said it a little louder, he couldn’t tell.
The flicker in the sky started to burn and like the many times he had envisioned that scene, he expected it to fall over soon. He was certain of that.
I should have tried to save you.
Trying never guaranteed success. But trying always had that special ability of just cushioning a fall, protecting against the impact of regret that followed.
And maybe that was the right thing to do. That alone had been enough to send a burst of energy through him, to bring back the muscle memory that got him succeeding at each height, winning competition after competition.
He wanted to fly. So he ran, like he had done many times before. He let his steps bounce, ignoring the pain in his knee.
The horizontal bar was nothing but a convenient silhouette, a guide towards his actual goal.
If I tried to save you, would things have ended up different?
Commander Hange Zoe was the source of energy that got him bouncing on that knee. It got him ignoring that white flashes of pain that followed. She was up there in the sky, fighting the colossal titans and Levi was determined to fly after her.
He positioned himself to jump in that split second, like he had done many times before. As his body turned to his side though, he saw another Hange Zoe.
She wasn’t a flicker nor a silhouette though She was clearly there, chestnut brown hair, bright eyes, like she had been in every single one of the competitions. He needed a split second more to process her. He was pressed for time though so he opted to look straight ahead, to focus on the jump.
“Levi!”
Levi was already up in the air when he heard her call out, when reality gripped at him and attempted to pull him back. Suspended up in the air, floating, it had been easier to pull away.
That was his last jump, his last attempt to save Commander Hange Zoe and he would see it through
There were things though people can will with all their minds, yet their body would still choose to disobey. If the body hadn’t been such a limiting factor, maybe everyone would have been an Olympic athlete.
Levi only had that crushing lesson on reality, hit him hard when he landed painfully on pad, the bar underneath him.
The flicker that he could have sworn was Hange faded into the sky. Or maybe it had fallen over too quickly, in the few moments it took Levi to blink.
The sky shifted into a deep blue. It would shift to a darker blue, then soon, the sky would be painted black. It took the flicker in the sky that had been Hange and soon it would be taking his surroundings with it.
Right after taking her? He would have wanted to ask. He had learned it before already, reality was cruel. There was no use bargaining with it.
It was starting to get cold. The heat in that moment as he made the jump and the heat of the fiery death he had witnessed, waged war with the winter chill that was starting to eat at him too.
Too many discomforts to process at once and in that second, Levi was almost grateful for the desolation, the disappointment that was also nagging at him then.
So he gave it some traction and soon, some place in reality. “I’m sorry, I can’t fly anymore,” he whispered. Those words should have been between him and whatever flicker had disappeared in the sky.
There had been an intruder though and Levi was slow to notice it. “Levi! What were you thinking?” she asked.
Gentle hands ran through him. Familiar hands pressed at his knees, at his arms. “Just thought I’d try it one last time.” Levi answered as he turned to the voice.
Hange’s face softened as they made eye contact. “Levi… you know the momentum comes from the run… With your injury, you wouldn’t have been able to even jump heights less than two meters..”
“I wanted to. Just one last time.”
Her hazel eyes were on him again, and they could have been glistening, illuminated by the already dim light as the winter sun shone with its last few rays.
“You don’t need to...” She helped him into a sitting position and Levi followed suit, surprised out how his body was still obeying him
Need to what? He hoped to seek clarity in the seconds that followed. Shaken for sure by those bursts of movement, the pain that came and the pain he had expected to come, he found himself unable to speak.
But it turned out, he didn't need to. He couldn't speak so Hange spoke for him. “If you don’t want me to, I won't leave you,” she said.
A minute ago, it had been hot. A few seconds ago it had been chilly. When she wrapped her arms around him though, the war between hot and cold ended with a comfortable compromise. Her tight embrace was lukewarm. “I’m right here… And I'll be right here for as long as you want me to be."
36 notes · View notes