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#but the idea of them just yelling barry at each other is delightful
soup-child · 11 months
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Everyone shut up what if Siobhan plays Barry Nyne in aso season 2
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froizetta · 6 months
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WIP Wednesday: Procrastination Edition
I told myself I'd work on (Love) Triangles this week, but instead I decided to impulsively write most of a borderline-crack superbatlantern fic. I guess that's just where my life is right now.
Excerpt below from the first scene, in which Hal and friends discuss their suspicion that Superman and Batman are fucking. (NB: It's just Hal, no-one else really believes this. (He's totally right though.))
“So what is up with them? They having another fight or something?”
“A ‘strategic disagreement’, Batman would probably say,” Barry said. “But yeah. A big fight, about plans for the upcoming mission. Superman was doing the whole paternalistic disapproval thing where he was really mad but trying not to act like it. And Batman was being all snarly and growly and throwing insults at him. It was, uh. A little more vicious than normal, maybe.”
“Yeah,” Hal agreed. “And they kind of looked like they wanted to kiss the whole time.”
Barry turned to him, mouth agape. “Dude.”
“What! I just say it like I see it! Is that so wrong?”
“You keep bringing it up! Why are you so obsessed with this?”
“I’m not obsessed,” he corrected with a frown. “Like sure, it’d be hot and all—” at this Barry made a face of mild revulsion “—but it’s not about what I want. I just don’t get how you don’t see it.” He looked consideringly between Ollie and Barry. “Maybe it’s just straight guys being oblivious? Dinah gets it.”
Barry, for reasons Hal couldn’t parse, looked deeply offended by this. Dinah just shrugged. “I mean, I guess I see it, yeah. Although maybe I’m biased? Bruce’s yelling-at-Superman voice sounds a lot like his sex voice.”
“Oh my god,” said Hal, delighted, just as Barry said the same thing with a tinge of horror. Which Hal didn’t get at all; this was fucking gold.
“I keep forgetting you actually slept with Spooky,” Hal went on, leaning forward conspiratorially. “What was it like? Let me guess: weird and intense, like everything else he does? Ooh! Did he try to suck your blood at any point, or is that something he saves for the fainting damsels he takes to his castle?”
She smiled. “Sorry, Hal. I can’t tell you or Ollie will get weird about it.”
“It’s fine, pretty bird,” said Ollie, “tell them whatever you like! As long as you also tell me later. Privately.” He waggled his eyebrows at her.
She jerked a thumb towards him. “See? Weird.”
“Aw, c’mon, Di! Look I’ll give you my cell number so you can just text it to me later. Ollie doesn’t have to know.”
“I definitely have to know,” Ollie corrected, eyebrows still waggling.
At that, Barry, who’d been looking increasingly uncomfortable throughout the whole conversation, finally snapped. “Ugh. What are we even talking about right now? Can we just move on, please?”
“Oh shit, Bar,” Hal said, “I’m sorry. I keep forgetting you’re a prude.”
“Jesus, Hal— It’s not prudish to not want to talk about our coworkers’ sex lives! Coworkers I respect. If anything, you guys are way too comfortable with it.”
Hal leaned back in his chair and shrugged. “I mean at this point, it’s not about the sex stuff for me so much as it’s a point of pride. They’re just so obviously horny for each other. I feel like everyone except Dinah is gaslighting me.”
“We’ve been over this, Hal,” Barry said tiredly. “People disagreeing with you isn’t gaslighting.”
“Whatever. Point is, I can’t move on with my life until I know for sure if I’m right or not.”
“You could, though, is the thing,” Barry said, now with an edge of desperation. “You could definitely move on. You could move on so easily.”
Ollie was watching this exchange with amusement. “So what, Hal, you wanna bet on it or something? Because I’d take those odds in a heartbeat.”
Hal snapped his fingers and threw him a triumphant grin. “Now you mention it? Yeah. A bet sounds like a great idea. You always have such great ideas. Have I ever told you you’re my favorite?”
Ollie grinned back. “Not often enough, I think.”
Dinah looked between them, frowning. “And how the hell are you ever gonna settle this either way? You’re gonna sneak up on Superman and Batman and catch them in the act? You?”
“What are you doubting me for?” Hal said, rising to his feet. “I’m the motherfucking Green Lantern. I’ll figure something out.” He held out his hand. “You’re on, Ollie. Fifty bucks says they’re doing the nasty on the reg.”
“Fifty?! That’s chump change. How about 500?”
Hal, who had $150 in his bank account last he checked, shrugged. “You can pay me that if I win, if that’s more interesting for you. But I’m still only paying you fifty if you win. We can’t all be billionaires.”
“Fine! Fifty,” Ollie said and clasped his hand in a firm handshake. “Actually, you know what? If it turns out they’re making out right now, I’ll actually give you that full 500 for free. How’s that?”
“This is so deeply inappropriate,” Barry muttered.
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shan2-d2 · 4 years
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As the garbage fire year of 2020 continues, I have been struggling to find something to fill the Schitt’s-Creek-sized hole in my heart.
Which, come to think of it, replaced the Parks-and-Rec-sized hole in my heart prior to that.  I’ve always been a sucker for “soft” television, but with everything going on the world, whatever tolerance I had for heavier fare has disappeared completely.  Like, yeah, I’d love to catch I May Destroy You or I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, but I just. Can’t. Handle. Them. Right now, anyway.  
I do have some old standards to fall back on-- Bob’s Burgers, The Good Place, The Great British Baking Show, and Kim��s Convenience (bless you, Canada) work just fine.  But with so much time at home, I’ve been getting antsy for new, soft, comforting content.
Then I watched Julie and the Phantoms on Netflix.
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And I loved it SO. MUCH. 
(Warning, since this is a family-friendly show: profanity ahead.)
Which, I have to admit, I’m kind of embarrassed about.  Like, look: I fully own up to the fact that my tastes aren’t exactly refined or mature.  I’m one of those contemptible “childless millennials”, after all.  There are things on my Netflix and Spotify lists that would make film buffs and hipsters cry.
But what I will give myself a pat on the back for is that I’m extremely open-minded when it comes to any sort of art consumption.  My tastes are super-varied, and I don’t have the burden of worrying about what is “socially acceptable” for me to watch.  I can watch Barry and Fleabag just as happily as I can watch Sarah & Duck (literally, a show for preschoolers that works better than any anti-anxiety medication I’ve tried) and old episodes of Tiny Toon Adventures.
Regardless, there’s embarrassment. Which is not about the fact that it’s a cheesy, High-School-Musical-esque, pre-teen friendly series, actually (... okay, maybe a little), but because the aging freakout is real, my friends.  Hitting the “Oh-My-God, I’d-Have-To-Play-the-PARENT” period of your life is fucking rough.  
Basically, in the words of Roger Murtaugh... I’m too old for this shit.
But I’m trying to tell myself that 1) Generation Z is delightful and I refuse to feel guilt for appreciating them, 2) god knows we’re all watching Stranger Things without embarrassment, and those kids are, like, twelve, and 3) now that I’m apparently ANCIENT, I’m supposed to stop caring about what other people think.
So: Julie and the Phantoms made my heart grow three sizes and I loved it a whole lot.
Quick synopsis: Julie, our hero, is a performing arts school student who is grieving the death of her mom and unable to continue making/playing music because of it.  One day, three ghosts of teenage boys who were in a mid-90’s rock band show up in her garage.  They form a new band (insert title of show here) and help Julie rediscover her love of music, while she helps them navigate the afterlife.  Bonding occurs, lessons are learned, the power of friendship is discovered, you get the idea.
And okay-- at its surface, it’s family-friendly entertainment, you know? Cute story, funny moments, the music is catchy, the whole cast is super talented (and, hey, can actually play their instruments! Whaddaya know!).
But the CHARACTERS!  THE SOFTNESS! THE REPRESENTATION!  If this is how young adults are going to written from now on, sign me the fuck up.
First of all, the two female leads of the show are women of color-- Julie (Madison Reyes) is Latinx and her best friend, Flynn (Jadah Marie), is Black.  That alone is (sadly, STILL) noteworthy, but I literally wanted to stand on my couch and yell about how wonderfully self-assured, smart, mature, strong, and competent these girls are.  Julie, in particular, is just… she’s just so cool, you guys. She never once has to rely on anyone else but herself to get shit done, and she takes responsibility for her own actions.  The girl very clearly knows her talent, capabilities, and worth, and PHEW, do we need to see more young women like her on our screens!  Like, yes, the boys support her, but they’re complete equals.  Julie doesn’t need any male saviors up in this business. She’s got this.  I LOVE HER. I SOMEHOW WANT TO BE HER WHEN I GROW UP, EVEN THOUGH SHE’S LIKE HALF MY AGE (oh GOD. I’m so OLD).
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In fact, throughout the series, the importance of honesty, respect, and healthy support is repeatedly emphasized.  There’s no dependency issues here, and lying of any kind is clearly forbidden.  Which I loved, because the whole “teen lying to everyone” storyline has been done to death.
Then there’s the three boys of Sunset Curve-- Luke (Charlie Gillespie), Alex (Owen Joyner), and Reggie (Jeremy Shada), i.e. the messengers of destruction for toxic masculinity.  THIS IS THE MALE FRIENDSHIP PORTRAYAL WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR, PEOPLE.  They’re so nice to each other! They’re so supportive! They’re tactile, openly emotional, and completely devoid of judgment of any interests or behaviors that don’t follow male social standards.  Bless the Age of the Soft Boys, may their reign be unbreakable and everlasting.
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Oh, and Alex is openly gay.  It’s not just hinted at-- he’s out and proud, with an adorable crush/pre-relationship with a skater boy named Willie (Booboo Stewart).  And, apart from a quick mention about Alex’s parents being homophobic, the show pretty much takes the Schitt’s Creek route-- all love and acceptance, with not much of a thing made of his sexuality at all (in fact, there’s enough evidence that none of the boys are completely straight, and I’m here for that, too).
And if all of that isn’t enough of a cuddle to the heart for you, THERE’S MORE:
Julie’s supportive, soft dad
Reggie’s immediate, one-sided bond with Julie’s supportive, soft dad and her brother
Julie and Luke totally have crushes on each other and it’s SO SWEET but completely age-appropriate, good job guys
I’m a sucker for good harmonies and the band HAS ‘EM IN SPADES
Flynn being HBIC the entire series
Julie’s crush Nick being very realistically awkward and dopey in the shadow of Luke’s arms (Nick, dude, lose that HAT, I beg of you)
A surprisingly moving side-plot/song about Luke’s parents
Alex just wanting to dance, and also being a high-key feminist and calling out the others when they slip up
EVERYONE’S JUST SO FUCKING NICE, OKAY
So yeah. Shut up. It’s wonderful and pure, and I WILL TAKE ANY SOFTNESS I CAN GET IN THIS HELL YEAR, WHEREVER I CAN GET IT.
In conclusion, Kenny Ortega can have my entire soul if he wants it, for not only this but also Hocus Pocus and Newsies.
Completely Unnecessary Afterword:
Being old enough to remember 1995-- and, specifically, what was popular that year-- has brought up some important questions regarding the Sunset Curve boys:
We know they died in ‘95, but like… when? Did they get to see Empire Records, for Christ’s sake?! Did they see Casper, because, I mean, they’re basically the Devon Sawas of 2020?  Were they spared their contemporaries’ fate of constantly over-quoting Billy Madison and Tommy Boy?  
OH MY GOD, DID THEY HAVE AOL SCREEN NAMES, AND WHAT WERE THEY??
What are each of the guys’ favorite song off of Boyz II Men’s “II”? This is possibly the MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION.
Did they die before Jagged Little Pill came out?  That would kind of break my heart.  Not that I expect Julie to start portraying Alanis-levels of anger/angst, but ‘95 was a YEAR for women in rock.  Garbage, Hole, No Doubt, PJ Harvey, The Cranberries, Veruca Salt, Bjork, and countless others-- they all had massive hits that year.  I love the idea of Julie and the guys sitting around the garage listening to all of those women for inspiration.  Can we have a resurgence of female-led rock bands taking over the charts, please?
On a much more serious note, given where the AIDS crisis was in ‘95, it’s no wonder Alex is a nervous wreck. It’s not really something I expect the show to delve into, but man… getting transported to 2020 might’ve been a bit of a blessing (not that things are great now, but y’know, medical progress).
How in the world did none of them fall victim to the whole “white boys dressing hip-hop” trend back in ‘95? I mean… Clueless got it right. (Wait, did they make it to Clueless??)
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jasontoddiefor · 5 years
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Batfam Fanfic Rec Sunday!
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I’ve decided to do something worthwhile with my 1400+ Batfam bookmarks, therefore I welcome you to my first Fanfic Rec Sunday. Every Sunday I guess I’ll recommend fanfictions for a specific theme, AU, trope, etc.
Feel free to request specific themes or AUs and I’ll do my best to search for fitting fanfiction!
(”Oh, I’ve always wanted to read something like a Brooklyn 99 crossover!” ”I’ve got your back, young reader.”)
This week’s theme is Time Travel & Batman Beyond!
And I’ve got 28 amazing fanfics for you below the read more!
Have fun and don’t forget to leave these lovely writers a comment!
Title: A Gift to Cherish Summary: The wonderful thing about being hurdled through time and space is that Jason doesn’t have to deal with the fallout of not listening to Bruce. The awful, terrible, no good very bad part of hurtling through time and space is that he has no idea where he is. It’s all up to wormhole he was thrown into to decide where he gets spit out to. In which Jason is thrown into a future he never came back to, and gets to heal, just a little bit. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226775
Title: A Good Place Summary: Damian Wayne is kidnapped and sent back years through time. Together, he and Father – who's only been Batman for a mere six months –must figure out how to return him to his own time. Over the course of the next week, Damian discovers that Mexican gangsters do not mess around, that social workers find Bruce annoying, that Bruce might be a little messed up, and that crystal chandeliers create the fondest memories. Oh. And Alfred has hair. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13515501
Title: A hundred miles through the desert Summary: Finding himself nearly three decades into the past hadn't been part of Jason's plans for the day, but he could manage. Having no idea how he got there, no clear path home and a recently orphaned Bruce Wayne determined to drag Jason into his search for his parents' killer - that might be a little more complicated. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18197330
Title: And They’re Only Getting Better Summary: 90's!Tim Drake wakes up in his Red Robin body. Exhausted from a YJ mission, he chooses to focus on getting through a normal day so as not to disrupt things for his future self. But, y'know, his way. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10522401
Title: A Time to Reflect Summary: Bruce finds himself stuck in the past, and while waiting for the league to pick him up, struggles to get along with his past self. Plus being in a practically empty manor is a bigger adjustment than he'd like to admit. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156707
Title: Back to the Past Summary: Bruce is Robin, his dad isn't Batman though, despite how similar the outfits are. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17237258
Title: Careful what you wish for Summary: Sometimes, Batman can’t help but miss the time when Dick was the one and only Robin. In a world with magical imps, he should have known better. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009647
Title: Choose - Lose Summary: Tim looked to the empty space where the time traveler had stood, a forgettable man with a forgettable face in a forgettable shabby brown suit, and had made his unforgettable offer. You can save him. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18320876
Title: Cocoa in April Summary: There are strict rules when it comes to time-traveling. But when Dick is faced with an adorable young Bruce when he's accidentally sent back to 1988, he can't resist a conversation. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16888914
Title: death sucks (and then you live) Summary: Red Hood is starting to put some serious plans in motion when he's attacked by a not-so-welcome blast from the past. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532380
Title: Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep Summary: I am not here I do not sleep. Terry wants to say he's okay with cemeteries. But taking your kinda boss, kinda mentor, kinda surrogate father-figure to his creepy family cemetery does not make him feel good. He didn't realize just how much Bruce mourns. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19378990
Title: In my arms Summary: There was nothing he could do. Nothing he could change. Those were the rules of the past. Besides, babies cried all the time, even if this was less a cry and more of an angry wail from a little one pushed past its limits. But still. He should have been on his way. He likely would have been, had this been a different home. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20728655
Title: Innocence and experience Summary: What starts as a normal patrol ends up shaking up the world of Young Justice when a boy claiming to be a future Robin drops from the sky while chasing after a man in white. The Team struggles to deal with Damian and the future he represents all the while trying to return him to his rightful time. But for what purpose is this new villain in the past and can Damian and the Team stop him? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9224534
Title: I Used to Be an Adventurer Like You, Then I Took an Arrow to the Knee Summary: Stephanie was just on patrol and now she’s stuck somewhere, sometime, with Bruce. They bleed and bond and mostly try to keep each other alive— you know, just a Tuesday. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16437716
Title: life, if well lived Summary: Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him. Just another day in the life, right? ...Not quite. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378512
Title: Lost and Found Summary: Bruce is dying. Slowly, painfully. Not going out in a blaze of glory and defiance for a greater purpose. He's caving under the weight of his own age, under the damage he's done to his heart through the years. Terry can't be by his side constantly to do damage control. More than that, he can't watch it happen with no reprieve. But there's no one else. Terry needs help keeping vigil by an ill Bruce's bedside. But the old man had kids once, didn't he? Are the bridges he burned unable to be rebuilt? As he observes, Terry definitely starts to wonder how this family used to be. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12214692
Title: meet the robins Summary: sad little orphan bruce travels to the future and meets the family he’ll have one day :) too bad he can’t stay forever :( Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2685095
Title: Mint Chocolate Chip Summary: Summer vacations have been going on just long enough for Jason to start getting bored, when he gets an unexpected visitor. From the future. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18860545
Title: no one seems to go Summary: “Father,” Bruce mumbles, “I am something of an outlaw.” “Were you always this dramatic, son?” Thomas asks, the bed beneath them shaking as he shifts. “Alfred.” Bruce snorts, shaking his head. “Theatrics are his speciality, remember?” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663957
Title: Of your own making Summary: Jason died. Then he came back, forty years too late. It takes time to adjust. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20211523
Title: One Big Batty Family Summary: In which Billy Batson and the McGinnis siblings join the present day Batfam. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1133567
Title: Oops I did it again Summary: "You're insane." Or possibly an insane dream from eating chili dogs before bed. Which one Jason wasn't sure since he had yet to pinch himself. "I'm a member of the longer existing Dead Robins Club that doesn't even give you a lousy shirt. Not shocking Jay." Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/936921
Title: Raisin Delight Summary: A year after Jason Todd dies, Tim Drake and Bruce Wayne take on the case when they notice strange occurrences in Gotham city. This has disastrous consequences, but so do most things that Tim gets caught up in, so what's new, really. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15644082
Title: Realization Summary: Bruce makes a discovery while conducting a check-up on Terry. Takes place midway through the "Splicers" episode. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377468
Title: Strange Manor Summary: Bruce let his eyes close to wallow for a moment in worry and fear for Jason. One second, two, three. He opened his eyes. Time to act. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474308
Title: The Incandescent Rose Summary: Terry McGinnis (the new Batman) impulsively asks marriage proposal advice from his mentor and grumpy father figure Bruce Wayne. When the older man describes a proposal in which he had been yelled at and abandoned, Terry can't help investigate the matter by seeing some of Bruce's most knowledgeable friends and family members. This search prompts someone else into action. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19414228
Title: The Time Travel Problem Summary: Barry Allen and Clark Kent, follow Bruce around during a time travel mission through Gotham City's recent past. If only Bruce would stay focused. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143081
Title: Younger Bruce, Older Jason Summary: Jason wakes up in the dead of night to an unexpected visitor. (Like you’ve never heard that one before...) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14867975
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bonniebird · 5 years
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Home on Earth
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Clark x Reader
Requested by Anon
Clark raised his eyebrows as you burst into the room. He hadn’t met you yet. He’d seen your work of course. But as for his cousin introducing him to you. That hadn’t happened.
“Have you tried these!” You yelled as you came in with armfuls of donuts. “They’re so good. I do not know what they are but you have to try them!”
“They’re good right!” Kara said cheerfully. She chuckled as you dumped the donuts on the table, taking on in each hand. As you munched on them Kara glanced to Clark. “This is my cousin Clark, you know, Superman.”
“I’m not supposed to tell Superman he’s Clark Kent. Right Alex?” You asked in confusion. Alex deadpanned as she brushed donut crumbs off her suit.
“You’re not supposed to tell anyone that Superman is Clark Kent or the other way round.” Alex’s tone was almost angry. It wasn’t that she wasn’t fond of you. Just that between you’re cartoonish delight over earth and Kara’s constant pep she was emotionally drained and needed a break.
“Like the Kara rule.” You told Clark wisley. He nodded in agreement.
“You know they make those with jam in the middle, covered in sugar dust.” Clark commented as you took a bite out of each donut until they were gone.
“Oh that sounds good.” You hummed and licked your lips.
“(Y/N)’s powers burn a lot of energy on this planet. We’re trying to find a diet that doesn’t have her passing out after a fight.” Kara admitted. She smiled when Clark hummed and frowned.
“Well you’ll have to find something other than donuts or you’ll get sick of them. I’d suggest talking to our speedster friends about it.” He offered and Kara’s face lit up.
“Alex! We could go and ask Cisco. It would really help.” Kara said as she looked pleadingly at Alex.
Alex agreed. Mostly because she would get a break from you, and probably from Kara. She really needed a non superhero holiday.
“I could keep an eye on (Y/N) for you while you’re gone.” Clark offered. Kara looked at you to check if you were ok with the idea.
“We’ll look after Winn.” You said, glancing at Winn who was furiously cleaning donut icing off his computer.
Kara agreed and said goodbye, leaving with Clark to protect the city.
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“Everything is so green here.” You said to Clark as you flew to the nearest emergency. A building was collapsing.
“It wasn't on your planet?” He asked before hurtling away to catch a concrete beam that was about to collapse.
Using what you’d practised with Kara you rushed everyone out of the building, checking for anyone else and only finding a rather startled dog. You reunited him with his owner and rushed up to help Clark.
“When I was young, we had a lot of plants, trees. The older I got the more my people fought. Kara says the planet she’s from is gone too. That earth is a good home for us. It’s so strange though.” 
“I imagine it is, Kara found it hard to adjust at first. She found her way through, she’s made a place for people like us, so we can protect the earth.”
“Alex wasn’t sure I could do it. But I practised with Kara. Now Alex says she's proud of me. I protect Earth and Earth gives me a home. I like it like that, it makes me feel like I don’t have to hide away.” You explained. Clark smiled and nodded.
Watching he saw you notice the fire engine that was checking the building, you’d just emptied, slip. The ladder swung dangerously but before anyone could get caught you’d grabbed the ladder.
“Did I miss anything?” Kara asked as she rushed to Clark’s side.
“Just a hero in action.” Clark said fondly as he watched you help the firemen and women to safety.
“(Y/N)’s good right. Earth scared her at first but now… It’s great teaming up with her. Plus I don’t have to rush out to every single emergency. I have some back up.” Kara said and grinned as you caught sight of her and waved.
“Maybe I could borrow her sometime. I could use some help every now and then.” Clark said playfully. Kara nodded, agreeing that if you wanted to, she could spar her back up.
The three of you rushed back to the base to find an excited Cisco waiting to meet you. As well as Barry and Caitlin who greeted Kara warmly. Alex was sat back enjoying a donut, her eyes closed and noise cancelling headphones on as she enjoyed a few relaxing moments. 
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readermagnifique · 5 years
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Anne with an E Season 3 finale!
Spoilers.
Good grief I am in LOVE!!!
I want to have a character on this show for the sole purpose of having a bisexual affair with Winnie Rose, no I am not taking constructive criticism at this time.
Josie Pye counting the hours until she can get away from all the whispers and snide comments that she is definitely still getting, and probably mostly from her parents broke my heart she deserves to fly they all do.
Ruby is still a little gem and I love her.
Shirbert Part I: They are so proud of each other, look at those cute grins.
Moody still holds the title of best awkward comments.
"Congratulations"
"Congratulations"
You poor dumb dumb babies I love you both.
Miss Stacy is the best you can't change my mind. Potato lightbulbs forever indeed.
"7 days until we spread out wings and soar" Tiny babies, we stan.
"It's your future, not theirs"
"It's not your future, it's ours!"
This next scene was heartbreaking.
The Barry's were getting better and I hate them again now.
Matthew Cuthbert you are a cute potato and your one (1) flaw in life is pushing people away to protect them. We stan.
Mummy Lacroix learning to be softer is what I am here for!
Shirbert Part II: Beautiful! Sublime! This letter was everything we've been wanting to hear since day 1. Also definitely breaking his promise to Winnie to not say ANYTHING about not being engaged for 2 weeks, but we'll let it slide because you're cute as a button, and the pen mention at the end was the cherry on top.
I honestly expected her to completely miss the fact that the letter was even there. Never expected her to rip it, and was even better when she ran around trying to find the pieces, and GOT IT COMPLETELY WRONG! You are the most adorable tiny human, and this had me shaking my head not knowing whether to be frustrated or laughing.
Diana being almost catatonic at the idea of her future broke me. It is not being talked about enough, this was heartbreaking.
"I can't fly"
"My poor Diana, they've clipped your wings" This was beautifully tragical, and so so sad. Dalila Bela was phenomenal in this whole episode - more on that later.
Marilla being the best Mum. She has grown so much and she is the sweetest. This whole episode she was a damn star! I love her! She's done a complete 180° from where she started, from big things like being kinder and more open with those she loves, to small things like making a dress with beautiful, most definitely expensive, blue velvet for her girl.
Elijah redemption arc - I love a redemption arc, and they are the hill I will die on thanking you. And Bash learning to forgive him and allow him into his daughter's life - this was inspired, thank you Moira!!!
Marilla talking the Barrys round to the idea of Diana's desire to control her own life not being a selfish one was beautifully done. Just her being careful and considerate as she has always been at her core.
Miss Stacy and Anne both giving beautiful presents to each other - and MISS STACY WRITING KINDRED SPIRITS ON THE FRAME WAS SPECTACULAR!!! And her conversation about happiness was so sweet and caring, and mentioning depression in her own way did anyone else notice this?
Marilla being so excited about letters of Anne's past, and putting Matthew straight, just like he did earlier in the series.
Matthew crying; I can't cope with it. End of discussion, couldn't deal. He's too sweet.
Elijah is going to be such a good big brother now he's doing his best.
Anne packing away her room; so beautifully filmed, and so bittersweet. She has loved this little room more than anywhere else, and it's lovely.
Jane and Josie are friends again? They're stood together in the line, and no snide comments. They smile to each other while the matron was talking. Was there a deleted scene or something? Can someone write their reconciliation as a one shot? I want to see Jane learn like Prissy exactly what her family is.
Anne is definitely going to learn sign language, I will place good money on those odds. Just you watch her.
Somehow the matron reminds me of the librarian in Monsters University?
Anne putting her necklace on the bed meant for Diana.
The girls being excited and giggling in pure delight with each other, dancing and carefree, away from the small minds of their town. Beautiful and inspirational, and most of it is down to Anne, you cannot change my mind.
Miss Stacy screaming in excitement for Gilbert going to Uni! His yelling with her!
Mummy Lacroix learning from her son to help him forgive his own stepson. Redemption arcs all around in the Lacroix farm.
Siblings united at last. Mary would have been the happiest woman to see this.
AUNT JO! MY ULTIMATE FAVOURITE!!! LIFE GOALS!!! I LOVE HER!
Can we all just appreciate that Cole has been at art school carefully studying and perfecting the Gay Artist Walk™ and he is doing so well? The hips. The hands. Look at that beautiful carefully learnt carelessly elegant flounce! That is Growth.
Jo calling Marilla Anne's mother and how happy it makes her.
ANNE'S PRINCESS MOMENT! THAT DRESS! I CAN'T EVEN! ABSOLUTE PERFECTION!!!
Anne is the bravest of women, so strong, and all of those closest to her know this.
Cole and Jerry are the best brothers, you cannot prove this wrong.
Anne takes that moment to break apart on one that she trusts with her life, and one who she knows trusts her with his, and then just as quickly pulls herself back together again and carries on. She just needed that moment, and he knew to give it to her.
The cows are Pride and Prejudice and this is fantastic.
Matthew you adorable bean, and I cannot cope with you tearing up twice in one episode.
Anne with her dress, and gloves, and parasol. Mesmerising.
Mrs Thomas is hilarious.
"They were SCOTTISH!"
"He's DEAD! You know that." Cracking up laughing.
I want to know who Katie was? This is the second time she's been brought up. The imaginary friend who lives in glass cabinets. Other than that we know nothing, and I need to know more.
The book.
I want to have a character on this show for the sole purpose of having a bisexual affair with Winnie Rose, no I am not taking constructive criticism at this time.
I fully and completely believe that after they sorted out the fact that neither of them had any idea what the other was bloody talking about, Anne and Winnie are pen pals, and they're going to chat about Paris and Uni and become good mates. I am here for Anne's respect for other women, and you know for a fact that she has never said or thought a bad word about Winnie from day one, because none of it has ever been her fault. And Winnie has been understandably angry, but once she stops hurting over Gilbert (and has a bisexual affair with me that is definitely going to happen I swear) she will be happy to call Anne a friend, because she has always been loyal to her friends and never made a move on her man while he was hers, even when drunk and looking gorgeous after the exams.
The train. How amazing was every scene on this damn train. Diana going to Uni, hearing about Gilbert not going to Paris and not engaged, but also not going to queen's and definitely not sorting things her friend and this is unacceptable??? Her face??? Incredible!!!
Anne running in that dress is a vision.
Diana's face as she sits in the chair opposite Gilbert. And he smiles politely and has to do a double take because the FuRy??? Of this girl??? Phenomenal.
I am always here for whenever Anne has her hair down.
Diana going HARD for Anne. On a public train. Fully laying in to the smartest and dumbest boy in her class.
Diana is a wonder, all she needed was friendship with an unlikely redheaded orphan brat to unlock her imagination, and that redheaded orphan is the girl who has saved her from misery and drudgery and brought colour into her life, and she deserves so much better than the confusion Gilbert has been giving her this whole time and Diana is throwing EVERYTHING at him and I am here for this ride or die friendship!!!
"DIANA WHAT LETTER???" THE URGENCY THIS POOR BOY!!!
This running montage was perfection, then the silence just as they saw each other. Majestic.
That gentle hand on her cheek, asking permission, then the kiss.
And then Anne Shirley Cuthbert does the most Anne Shirley Cuthbert thing and pinches herself to check it's real.
And Gilbert So-Smart-And-So-Dumb Blythe still had to check that she loves him as much as he loves her and both of these reactions are the most valid thing I have ever witnessed.
And that second kiss; Anne "If I wanted to kiss a boy, couldn't I just, kiss him?" Shirley Cuthbert going for it, I am here for it on every level, I hope it's within the correct timespan for visiting suitors, because you're definitely not in the parlour Anne!
Anne not even getting mad that he's leaving just after he kisses her, she is so understanding what a damn angel.
And Gilbert desperately trying to reassure her before he has to run off again. That hand kiss, I am swooning over their romantical notions, the pair of them!
"DiANA???"
"Can I still be your roommate?" Look at this baby, with her witty quips and dramatic entrances! I adore that Anne has found a home among people who are just as dramatic as she is.
Mr Barry redeaming himself somewhat - "Take the carriage! Run boy! Accomplish your dreams!" He's learning, it's all we can ask for. Maybe next season I'll begin to like you again.
That hop out of the carriage, the return of the flirty eyebrows, that kiss; Mr Blythe! Straight out of a romance novel! He knows how to put his romantical notions into action.
"I have follow up questions."
Marilla and Matthew running with the book! The book itself! Mummy Shirley had red hair!!! Baby Anne's First Picnic!!! "Their handwriting looks like mine." !!!
"You are a wish come true, I never knew I was making" Marilla tear my heart out why don't you?!?!
Dear Gilbert I look like my mother.
This was a phenomenal, perfect ending to this series, we were not only fed, but giving a ten course meal, thank you Moira!!! Only thing I could have wished for was more Jerry, because he is a tiny baby, and more ka'kwet. Also the brutal and gruesome death of Billy Andrews would have been a nice bonus, but I'm happy to wait until season 4 that is definitely going to happen.
Now just give me a character on this show for the sole purpose of having a bisexual affair with Winnie Rose. Jo and Gertie 2.0! Meeting in a Parisian bookshop! Yes please!!!
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ty-talks-comics · 5 years
Text
Best of DC: Week of September 4th, 2019
Best of this Week: DCeased: A Good Day to Die #1 - Tom Taylor, Laura Braga, Darick Robertson, Richard Friend, Trevor Scott, Rain Beredo and Saida Temofonte
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This was absolutely insane from start to finish.
DCeased as an event has been dire, hopeless and gory beyond all reason and while there has been some travel to different places like Keystone City or Atlantis, most of it has been confined to Metropolis and focused on Superman, Green Canary, Jon Kent and Damian Wayne. A Good Day to Die shifts the focus to an entirely different cast of characters and how they’re dealing with the Anti-Life infection.
Starting with an amazing shot of Mister Miracle, Scott Free, and Big Barda using a Boom Tube to look at the destroyed remains of Apokalips, the book establishes just how bad things have gotten for even the worst being in existence. Darkseid is more than likely very dead. Surrounded by the White Light of safety, the couple look on share a tender kiss full of love with Scott saying that seeing Apokalips decimated debris makes him feel pretty good, like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulder, especially since there were nothing but awful memories there. One of the first themes we get here is the love that he and Barda share throughout.
Soon after, we cut to Mister Terrific conducting a myriad of test on a captured but infected Captain Boomerang. There is never a reason given for why he has Boomerang, but his studies ultimately lead nowhere as he too is stumped about how to solve this problem. What makes this interesting is that, Michael Holt is one of the smartest minds in all of the DC Universe. He has almost as many resources as Batman has with double the mind power to piece together a solution, but he’s got nothing. So he turns to the only two people that may have a first person perspective of things - Scott Free and Barda who have just returned to Earth.
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Truly, the only thing that could have made this better would have been an appearance from Guy Gardner for most of a Justice League International reunion. This was alluded to by Ted when Barda first showed up and while this does get some more creedence later on, it is far more gruesome than I would have expected, but it was a fun nod to some old history.
Taylor makes one of the first of many jokes as Terrific knocks on their door, but Scott is convinced that it’s a zombie with their bloody stump until he rings the doorbell, Braga then pulls in close on Scott’s face with the most serious look with him saying, “Answer the door.” and I just couldn’t contain myself. After Barda explains that Apokalips holds no answers as it too was destroyed, we cut to Blue Beetle and Booster Gold holed up in Kord Industries office building. Ted notes that the door is made of titanium and that nothing could get through it… Until Barda gets through it. Scott and Terrific cut down the zombies with ease, allowing the group to escape to Blue Beetle’s Bug on the way to another hope!
After all of that, we venture to the wonderful land of Liverpool, England where John Constantine is being chased by hordes of the Undead and yelling at Chas to start the car. Unfortunately for him, Chas had been looking at his phone and succumbs to the virus himself, forcing John to incinerate his best mate.
Darick Robertson is the artist for these pages and he does an excellent job of drawing a crowd of zombies with bloody faces. He's even better at setting a scene in only a few panels, showing John running from them at a distance, and keeping that same shot, bringing John closer and closer as we see just how dense the horde is. John is absolutely lucky that he manages to survive. The sheer terror on his face as he runs ragged away from danger is a delight and actually makes me feel horrified for him too.
Terrific and the others save John, asking if magic might be able to help them, but John retorts in his normal snide manner that if it could, he would have done it already. Not before making fun of their superhero names, John says that he's going to wait to die while being drunk off his arse in typical fashion.
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Laura Braga's art shifts between the gruesome and the beautiful so often in this book that when Scott and Varda are on screen, they stand out well amongst the drab browns and reds of the zombies. While this is mostly thanks to Rain Beredo's great use of colors in Barda's iconic dark blues and yellows as well as Scott's distinct greens, yellows and red, credit should be given for Braga's amazing posing and scene setting. Seeing Barda and Scott so in love and having it juxtaposed against impending doom is just a wonderful sight to see.
The groups efforts are further impeded when Waverider, a "time cop" comes to prevent Booster from using his time machine to save the universe. Constantine returns out of guilt in the nick of time to try to save the universe, headbutting Waverider for a distraction when ZomBarda crashes through a wall and kills Mister Terrific. This keeps Booster away for time to take its toll as Waverider tells him that Superman apparently finds the body of Barry Allen in some rubble in Keystone, causing Booster and the future to start fading away.
With little options left, Terrific places his faith in the hands of Booster Gold who still has a working time machine somewhere. Even Booster acknowledges the idiocy of that idea, but what else can they do? Booster says he left it in the hands of some trusted friends and where do we go? Malibu! The home of Fire and Ice, the other two members of the JLI as mentioned earlier! Unfortunately for Mister Terrific’s team, both Fire and Ice lost the fight against the hordes and succumbed to the infection themselves. Seeing no other option and quickly being overcome, Scott and Barda sacrifice themselves so that the others may escape. They share one last kiss before getting completely overwhelmed.
I actually almost teared up as I tend to do when things involve Booster and Beetle. Booster Gold and Blue Beetle have the most adorable bromance in the history of comics and watching Ted frantically try to calm his dissipating friend is nothing but heartbreaking. Booster apologizes to Ted that he'll never know him and it's almost too much, even in this series.
The biggest and best change here is John's unwillingness to let this universe fall. John's never been one for superheroics, but seeing just how close Terrifics team came to actually having something of a solution and knowing that he could have been a great help makes Constantine see that the world can still be saved.
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DCeased has me far more involved at this point than I ever expected. Even if it's not a canon story, I really do feel for each character in it. This particular spin off is even better because it has some of my favorite characters and shows just how they'd deal with a rapid zombie infection. Tom Taylor must have been reading old issues of Justice League of America/International because he captured some of the essence that made that series so hilarious with great characterizations and gags.
Laura Braga's art stuns by being every bit as violent as Trevor Hairsine's on the main book while also being very distinct from it with thick lines, excellent facial expressions and good backgrounds. Her cities feel desolate, even with zombies roaming the streets and the way she drew Blue Beetle's Bug brought me back to my love for the character and the wackiness of the vehicle.
Things just tumble down from there as Ted allows himself to be infected and Constantine keeps Waverider locked in place so that he has to face the consequences of what he's allowed to happen. Ted kills Waverider just as Doctor Fate and Zatanna show up to try and rescue Constantine.
I really hope that this spin off continues to every part of the DC Universe and that even when the main series is over there will still be more stories to tell. Like Marvel Zombies, there's a lot of ground that can be covered and it can't just be contained to a six issue miniseries. I mean, it can to avoid oversaturation, but I love this so far.
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mosylufanfic · 6 years
Note
For AUgust: Killervibe Summer Camp!!! I can already imagine how different they’d be as camp leaders
Oh my god this was so fun, you have no idea.
Send me a prompt from this calendar for AUgust
Capture the Flag
On her way back from the head table, Caitlin Snow paused at the Capture the Flag brackets on the big wall chalkboard. Birch Cabin - her cabin - marched down the brackets to land in the middle, ready for tomorrow's championship game. She felt herself swell with pride.
Okay, so it was a silly summer-camp competition. But she had a great cabin this month. There had been the usual traumas with poison ivy, bedwetting, and homesickness, but it was a cabin of girls between the ages of eight and ten. That came with the territory.
Even more, they were the best Capture the Flag team she'd ever had. They communicated well, they played smart, and they'd fought hard to beat their opponents. They deserved the big, tacky trophy that Iris, the head counselor, would present at the last-night bonfire, and the paper certificates that would go home with them the next day.
Her eyes landed on the bracket directly opposite her Birches, and they narrowed.
Walnut.
"So," said a voice at her side. "It is down to you, and it is down to me."
She turned, arms folded over her Camp Bright Star Staff t-shirt, to glare at Cisco Ramon. "Your Walnuts better have a great concession speech ready."
He mirrored her stance, smirking at her. "Oh, my guys will be delighted to write a concession speech for the Birches to use."
She gave a haughty sniff, because she couldn't think of a good reply, and marched away toward her table. She heard his laugh follow her back.
Birch table was happy and chattering, buzzing over their victory today and anticipation of the championship match tomorrow. Caitlin put the water down, checked that Priya had gotten her vegetarian meal (yes) and that Meghyn wasn't sneaking any bread (Caitlin now knew more than she wanted to about the effects of celiac) and that Gracie was actually eating and not pushing her food around on her plate (yes, slowly).
"Campers!" Caitlin said, clapping her hands, and they all looked around. "So, I was just talking to the Walnut counselor, and he seems to think that Walnut is going to be getting that Capture the Flag trophy tomorrow. Is that the case?"
"Nnnnnnoooooooo!" bellowed ten girls and one CIT.
"Who's getting that Capture the Flag trophy?"
"BIIIIIIRCH!!!!" they howled, drawing the attention of the entire mess hall.
Oak Cabin, who'd lost to Walnut a few days ago, laughed. Pine Cabin, who they'd beat today, looked sour. Up at the head table, Barry the sports director was grinning broadly and Iris was shaking her head, suppressing her own smile.
"Darn skippy," Caitlin said, throwing a triumphant look over her shoulder at the Walnut table. Cisco scowled at her, and then leaned in to start whispering with his CIT.
What they were whispering about was made clear as they were dismissed from the mess hall. Usually Walnut straggled down the path to their cabin, chattering and shoving for position, some of them wandering off the path to investigate interesting trees or especially disgusting bugs. Cisco always said, "They'll find their way home eventually."
But today, as Caitlin's campers lined up neatly buddy-system behind her and her CIT, Walnut Cabin lined up next to them, as orderly as a boot camp.
Mei muttered, "What fresh heck is this?"
"No idea," Caitlin muttered back. "What are you doing?" she said to Cisco.
"Just getting some discipline in my ranks," he said airily, "like you're always talking about. Right, Wally?"
"Right," his CIT said, smirking.
Caitlin's campers scowled and folded their arms, as suspicious as she was. Walnut Cabin was the one that was always getting dinged for noise after lights-out and running over their time in the arts and crafts hall. Discipline was about the last thing on their list of priorities.
"A moment, Walnut Counselor?" she said, stepping over to the shade of the mess hall.
"Anything for you, Birch Counselor," he said, following her.
She gave him a deeply suspicious look. "You didn't sabotage our cabin in any way, did you?"
He looked genuinely wounded. "What are we, Hemlock? Walnut plays fair."
"Just checking," she said.
"You didn't put any booby traps on the field, did you?"
"Excuse you? We're Birch, not Butternut."
"Just checking," he said.
He glanced over at their campers, and she followed his lead. They were whispering and giggling amongst themselves, with occasional glares for form’s sake at the other cabin. Wally and Mei were both trying to keep them in line.
"So," Cisco murmured, even quieter, "same time, same place?"
"Wouldn't miss it," she murmured back.
He grinned. "Awesome." He turned on his heel and yelled, "Walnut Cabin, let's get crackin'!"
While Caitlin was still blinking at the abrupt change in volume, he started off down the path. "I don't know but I been told - "
Right on cue, all ten boys began to march after him, shouting back, "I don't know but I been told - "
"Birch Tree Cabin's growing mold!"
"Birch Tree Cabin's growing mold!" A rush of little-boy giggles obscured the last word.
Cisco carried on, smirking over his shoulder as the boys repeated after him. "Walnut kids are big and strong! Beating them won't take too long! Sound off!"
"One two!"
"Sound off!"
"Three four!"
"Sound off!"
"One two three four . . . "
Their voices faded into the woods, leaving Birch Cabin gaping after them. Caitlin shut her mouth with a snap. "Campers," she said. "Let's get back to Birch. We've got strategy to plan."
Cisco meandered along the edge of the Capture the Flag field, considering the game the next day. Birch Cabin was smart, but they played safe, a lot like Caitlin. Cisco encouraged his kids to think outside the box, get creative, take risks. A lot of them ended up in the penalty box and he always had to have bandaids on hand, but it had gotten them to the finals, hadn't it?
He sighed and looked at his watch. Phones didn't work out here. You got half a bar if you were lucky, and forget wifi. She was late. That wasn't like Caitlin. She was never late.
He unhooked his walkie talkie from his belt and considered sending out a call. He'd get a lot of ribbing from the other counselors but it might be worth it.
A pair of hands covered his eyes. "Guess who."
He grinned. "Iris."
"No."
"Barry?"
"No!"
"Hmmmmmmmm. Only one person it could be then." He spun around and kissed Caitlin before she could get away. She giggled against his mouth and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Hey," he said softly, resting his hands on her waist. "Where were you? My lips were getting sad and lonely."
"Awww." She pressed another kiss to them. "Poor lips. I was talking to Joe and Iris."
He frowned at her. "About what? The chant? Oh my god, that was nothing. You should have heard the verses I nixed."
"Not the chant," she said. "The chant was fine. I mean, it got the girls fired up, but it was fine." She kissed him again. She tasted like the honey chapstick she used obsessively. "No, Mei came to me and said they want to start using their pronouns with the campers next session."
"What, really? That's amazing!" Caitlin's CIT had asked all the counselors and CITs to use they/them pronouns during training and setup, but they'd been a little wary about it during session, in front of the kids. Cisco had tripped over his tongue a lot this session.
"Yeah, it's great! I'm really happy for her." She shook her head. "I mean, them. It's a big step."
"So was Joe cool with it?"
"Of course he was. Mei's been coming here since they were little. He's just happy they're comfortable being themselves here. He was talking about some counselor talks this weekend, so we know how to handle it with the kids."
"The kids'll be fine," he said. "It's the parents. It's always the parents."
"I hope so. I mean, not that the parents will be awful. But that the kids will be okay."
"They will. Remember Mei's first session? When we were CITs? Even then they were kind of gender fluid and after the first day or so, that was just Mei."
"Oh, yeah," Caitlin said. "That was so long ago. I was looking at the picture in Joe's office. You were so cute."
"I was, wasn't I?"
She wrinkled her nose at him. "And modest."
"You were cute too."
"Too late," she said.
"Really?" He kissed her. "Am I?" Kiss. "Too late?"
She laughed and kissed him back.
They walked around the edge of the field, holding hands and talking, and occasionally stopping to kiss some more. "I can't believe it's almost the end of the session," Caitlin said wistfully.
"Two more days and then the little demons are out of our hair."
"You're going to cry on Goodbye Day and you know it."
"Oh, man, I'm gonna sob like a baby," Cisco admitted. He loved the kids; he wouldn't be doing this job if he didn't.
She hugged him close. She would be crying as hard as he would in two days' time.
He turned his head to press his lips to her ear. "And then," he murmured, "two whole days and three whole nights of freedom."
"Not exactly freedom," she said. "We have workshops and counselor talks and cleaning and setup - "
"And picnics and parties and trips into town - " He started kissing her neck. "- and all sorts of time, just you and me."
"Mmm. Sounds like you have big plans for intersession."
"I really do. You want a preview?"
"I would love one."
They kissed in the grass until Caitlin's watch buzzed against her wrist. He sat up reluctantly. "Time?"
"Almost." She kissed him once more.
As they straightened their shirts and pulled grass out of each others' hair, Cisco said, "Hey, I don't suppose you found an action figure anywhere? Rohti lost his little buddy and now he's losing his mind."
"Was it Captain America?"
"Yeah! You did?"
She put her hand in her pocket and pulled out the little action figure. "Priya did."
He looked suspicious. "Found it or 'found' it?"
"Actually found it, in the path," Caitlin said. "She's still his big sister, even if they're at each other's throats this summer."
"Awww." He took it, wiping some dirt off Cap's shield. "What's up with them anyway?"
"I really don't know. I don't think they do, either. It's just one of those sibling things."
He helped her up and hooked his arm around her waist as they started walking back toward the cabins. "Well, I hope he doesn't make her feel too bad when Walnut Cabin whups you guys tomorrow."
She elbowed him, but not too hard, so he wouldn't let go of her. "Dream on, mister. Birch is going to destroy you."
FINIS
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a-fluffer-nutter · 7 years
Text
Five More Tries
A/N - My dudes, this was my favorite fic ever to write! I hope y’all love it as much as I do! I just had to do some Game Grumps content because there is so little for them and I am in the biggest fan mood ever. I hope y’all enjoy, Love y’all!!!
Word Count: 1,546
           “I hate this stupid game,” Vicious words spoken under breath, the man leaned forward on the couch, spine a perfect crescent. Everyone knows leaning forward when you are playing videogames helps you focus more.
           “Do you want me to look up the walkthrough?” Another person spoke from the opposite end of the couch, running his hand through messy curls. Microphones surrounded both men, needing to catch every word uttered to every small squeak from the couch springs. Even the smallest details were crucial when filming a show on YouTube.
           “I don’t need any stupid walkthrough,” Bitter anger entangled his words before letting out a long sigh, pushing back his straight, long hair behind his ear. “This game is just so fucking stupid.”
           “Just like the last game we played on here?” Voice peppered with a firm statement and a question, a hint of amusement sprinkled on top. “I’m sure the Lovelies are enjoying you fall off this mountain over and over again.”
           “More than I a-Damn it!” The blond-haired character with an obnoxiously unique name fell to its death once again. “This game is so stupid!”
           “Wanna put it on pause until we get through this part?”
           “I can do it, Dan,” Arin snapped, scratching his dull nails into his scalp, seething at this game, knowing the viewers were going to laugh at him once the video is published. Dan leaned into the arm of the couch, raising his brow. He knew Arin never meant anything he said when he was raging at a game, and frankly he always thought it was funny. The grump had his name for a reason.
           “Five more tries,” Dan stated, crossing his arms over his chest, “then we’ll hit pause if you don’t get it.”
           “Fine,” Arin muttered, mashing the buttons on the controller. The harder you press, the better the action turns out to be in game, everyone knows that.
           “And that’s four,” Dan let out a short laugh into his mic, Arin’s raging scream overtaking most of the audio. “Have you tried jumping over the boulders yet?”
           “Yes, Dan,” Sharp tone through gritted teeth, pupils narrowed as he didn’t even look over at his friend. “That’s what I keep trying to do.”
           “Maybe go around them, then?” Another scream over took Dan’s statement, another short laugh. “Three.”
           “I know how to count, Dan,” His voice seemed to be permanently loud and upset, eyes still glued to the vibrantly colored screen. “Michael Jackson taught me how to do it in ‘ABC.’”
           “Oh, thank goodness you had the best teacher,” Dan said after a bout of contagious laughter. His bright laugh provoked an idea to form in Arin’s head, something not too difficult to act upon in his current state.
           “Two,” Arin muttered to himself as Dan announced it loud and proud to their soon-to-be audience. Arin’s expression softened, kind of wanting to kill his character again, a faint curling of the corner of his mouth flickered on his face.
           “One!” Dan announced, bouncing slightly in seat, though stopped with a furrow of his brow. Why had Arin stopped being so pissed off? Stopped being a grump? “You doing okay there, Arin?”
           “Just peachy, Dan,” Arin held up three fingered ‘okay’ sign, eyes still glued to the screen with a false intensity. His tone had gone flat, which made Dan start to worry, his head tilting slightly to the side. Arin would sometimes get so angry that he would go silent, which was kind of scary to be around, and it didn’t really make for a good show, though they always had Barry to work his magic.
           The room was near silent as the character finally slipped back off the platform Arin had never seemed to get past. Arin yelled out a loud curse, tossing the controller onto the floor, though he didn’t really mean it. Dan curled into himself just a little, letting out a string of happy laughs, scrunching up his nose just a bit. Wide grin on his face, Arin watched Dan try to compose himself, his thin shoulders bouncing.
           “Alright,” Dan rubbed his hands together, glancing over Arin’s head to the door, “We’ll be back in a moment. Let’s pause-”
           “Oh no you don’t,” Arin said, lunging toward a shocked Dan, toppling him onto his back, head laying on the arm of the couch. “You don’t get to do this huge count down and make fun of me. Now, I���ll really give you something to laugh about.”
           “Wait,” Dan nearly screamed out the words, as he felt Arin curl his fingers into his thin waist. He was a giggling mess in no time, Arin’s nails teasing the skin just above his hips, walking his fingers up to a particularly sensitive area just below his ribs. “Stop!”
           “Aw, what’s wrong Danny?” Devious fingers digging between ribs, going up and down his ribcage. Legs kicking desperately, Arin bounced slightly with each movement, Dan’s feet pounding against the couch cushions. Dan’s giggles grew sharper as Arin’s fingers grew closer and closer to his belly, a small area exposed as his shirt rose up from the frenetic thrashing. Fingers paused, hovering over the sensitive area, Arin soaked in the marvelous sound of Dan’s uncontrollable stream of bright giggles, possessing the ability to light up any mood. “I’m not even touching you! Why are you laughing?”
           “I fucking hate you,” Dan could barely say, eyes narrowing in on the slowly descending fingers, completely forgetting he could still move his arms. Arin, however, remembered that he could. It was a very quick motion, one that Dan didn’t really process until the act had been done. Arin grabbed both of Dan’s wrists and slipped them under his knees, sitting on them to keep them still, and keep them apart from his torso. Then, he went back to work. “Arin!”
           “Yes, Danny?” Arin let out a laugh himself as Dan screamed, all ten fingers digging into his belly, thumbs teasing the small area just around his navel, but not yet going in for the kill. Full fledged laughter poured from his upturned lips, Dan laid his head back on the arm of the couch, his messy hair shielding his eyes from the onslaught. A mess of intangible word flowed, trying to bark out curses at Arin. “I can’t understand you. Try not laughing.”
           “Ahaharin! Don’t!” Dan squealed, bucking hard as Arin suddenly switched tactics, flinging his hands under Dan’s arms, and scribbling around the exposed skin from under Dan’s short sleeves. “Ohohoho my god! Stop!”
           “I think you just said, ‘don’t stop,’ didn’t you?” Arin teased, wearing a wide grin that nearly matched Dan’s. The teasing caused Dan’s laughter to spike, his red face growing another shade darker. He had twisted and turned so much that he briefly freed himself, pushing himself back, head hanging off the couch as his torso became propped up on the arm of the couch, jutting it closer to Arin. Legs still firmly pinned, Dan had put himself in a dire predicament as Arin brought his fingers down to tease an incredibly sensitive spot on his lower back that only he knew about. “Fuck, Danny. You could’ve just told me you wanted me to tickle your tummy more.”
           “Sweet Jesus, Arin, don’t you fucking-” Dan was immediately cut off by his own hysteria as Arin blew a giant raspberry onto his fully exposed belly, causing him to scream. Scream loud enough that the mics started to act out.
           The mics.
           “Arin! We have an episode to do!” Dan was able to say past his loud laughter and the sound of Arin’s lips puffing air onto his belly, the hair of Arin’s beard shaking with each raspberry, sending Dan up the wall, which wasn’t helped by Arin’s long hair grazing lightly against the rest of his belly. With another raspberry, Dan let out another scream and pulled himself upright as Arin sat back up. Dan grabbed Arin by the hair, resting his forehead on Arin’s chest. “Stop. Please.”
           “If you insist,” Arin laughed, running his hand over Dan’s hair. He glanced over at the door, wide smile. “Hey, Barry. Cut this part out. Danny might kill me if we leave it in.”
           “Or I’ll kill you anyways,” Dan let out a quiet snort as he looked up at Arin, eyes full of fire. “No mercy, Big Cat.”
           “Danny!” Arin squealed as Dan’s fingers dug into his ribs, the sensations overtaking his mind just enough to knock him back onto the couch, reversing the situation. Danny loomed overhead, hosting a wide, mischievous smile.
           “You might wanna take this part out too,” Dan let out a laugh before digging right into Arin’s belly, eliciting loud, high pitched laughter.
           Barry decided to run the episode just how it was, giving the Lovelies a delightful forty-minute episode of the duo forgetting about everything else, just tickling the living shit out of the other person. Barry told them about the uncut episode, but he forgot to leave out the fact that the face cams had been going the entire time. Arin and Dan didn’t find out until receiving hundreds of messages on each of their social media accounts. Needless to say, Barry quickly found himself at their mercy only hours after the video was published.
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westallenfun · 7 years
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Doorbells & Turtle Breath
Westallen Secret Santa gift from @barryandiriswest-allen for @babyish14
Hi Aisha, I’m your secret Santa. I saw that you chose honeymoon and McSnurtle in the prompt suggestions, so I decided to combine them. It’s fluffy and very silly. I hope you like it!
Summary: Cisco returns McSnurtle to the loft after babysitting him during Barry and Iris’s honeymoon.
Barry and Iris returned from their honeymoon, but they were still very much in the honeymoon phase. Barry questioned if the excitement of being married to Iris would ever wear off, it didn’t seem possible. The newlyweds were not looking forward to returning to reality, where they would be expected to do things besides stare at, kiss, and love each other all day and night.
After five incredible nights and six spectacular days in Bali, Barry and Iris went home to Central City. They had one more day off to enjoy being newlyweds in their loft before going back to work.
Barry and Iris awoke to the annoying chime of their doorbell.
Barry stretched. He looked at the clock and saw that it was past 9:00. He and Iris slept in because they hadn’t done a lot of sleeping that night. Or the five nights before…….
“Who do you think that is?” yawned Iris.
“I don’t know.” Barry sighed. “Maybe it’s just a package or something, and they’ll go away.”
Barry rolled to his side so he could snuggle Iris. They both closed their eyes, drifting in a state of half awakeness and half asleep.
A few seconds later, the doorbell chimed again. Barry groaned. Iris rubbed her eyes.
“We should’ve told people we weren’t getting back till later tonight.” Iris said.
Barry laughed. Neither of them moved. Iris closed her eyes again and was on the verge of sleep when, another sound of the chime promoted her to say, “You should probably go get that.”
“Me?” Barry said with wide eyes and a teasing smile.
“You’re the one with pants on.” Iris reasoned.
“Umm, you’re the one with a shirt on.” Barry countered.
“Guys can be shirtless, girls can’t. Blame the patriarchy.” Iris said. “But first, answer the door.”
“I don’t want to get up.” Barry pouted.
The chime was relentless.
“Fine.” Iris chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Rock, paper, scissors.”
Barry put up a fist. “You’re on, Mrs. West-Allen.”
The sound of her new and improved last name made Iris smile.
“Rock! Paper! Scissors!“ They both chanted.
Iris chose rock. Barry chose paper.
“HA! Victory!” Barry yelled with delight.
“No fair, you distracted me by being all cute before we started.” Iris contested.
The doorbell chimed again and again.
“It’s for you.” Barry teased.
Iris gave him a playful slap on the shoulder and got up. Not wanting to lay in bed without his wife, Barry got up with her. They both put on the items of clothing they were lacking to the tune of more doorbell chimes.
“Hey,” Barry said. “We just had our first fight as a married couple. They say the first fight is the worst, and I’ll admit that rock, paper, scissors match was intense, but I think we came out of it stronger.”
Iris was overcome with laughter. She clutched a stitch in her side as she and Barry descended the staircase.
By the time they got to the door, whoever was outside of it was now hitting the doorbell repeatedly. Barry looked through the peephole and saw Cisco waiting impatiently. Cisco was carrying McSnurtle the turtle in his tank.
“FINALLY!” Cisco said the moment Barry opened the door. “I was getting worried Barry slipped into another coma.”
“Thank you for looking after McSnurtle while we were gone, Cisco.” Iris said as she took the tank from his hands.
Cisco’s frustrated faded. “Ah, no problem.” he said. “The little guy is a pretty good roommate.”
“Better than me?” Barry wondered.
Iris took McSnurtle out of the tank and cradled him in her arms. “Mama missed you.” she cooed at him.
Barry smiled at them but Cisco’s expression was one of confusion and discomfort.
Iris brought McSnurtle up to her face and rubbed her cheek against his shell. “Did you have fun with Uncle Cisco?” she asked McSnurtle.
“Bro, was there some kind of accident that caused Iris brain damage while on the honeymoon? Cause Caitlin can give her an MRI.” Cisco whispered to Barry.
“I heard that.” Iris said.
“Sorry, I’ve just never seen someone be so, um, how should I put it? Affectionate with their pet turtle.” Cisco said.
“I just love my turtle. I always wanted a pet but couldn’t get one growing up. My dad is allergic to dogs and Barry is allergic to cats.” Iris explained.
Iris suddenly caught a whiff of something horrible. She flinched.
“Are you sure she’s ok?” Cisco whispered to Barry again.
“Why does McSnurtle’s breath smell so bad?”
Cisco leaned in close to McSnurtle to smell. “It smells fine to me.” he shrugged.
Barry leaned over and immediately pulled away. He plugged his nose. “Oh man, that’s bad.”
“It smells like….. B.O.” Iris said.
Barry shook his head. “I think it smells like sulfur.” He reluctantly took another breath through his nose and decided, “It’s like sulfur and urine.”
“Oh, I know what it is then.” Cisco laughed.
“What?” Iris asked.
“Well, last night, we were watching Battlestar Galactica together and eating some of my famous, homemade asparagus dip.” Cisco said.
Iris recoiled. “Ewww, asparagus is stinky.”
“He liked it!” Cisco said, defensively.
“Anyway,” Barry said to Cisco, eager to be alone with Iris again. “Thanks again for watching him for us while we were away.”
“No problem.” Cisco said. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone so you can give McSnurtle a little brother or sister.”
“Bye!” Barry waved as he closed the door.
Iris put McSnurtle back in his tank. “Home sweet home.”
Barry wrapped Iris in a hug. “The honeymoon was great but it is kinda nice to be back home, starting our lives together as husband and wife.”
“Yeah.” Iris agreed. “But, I wish we could spend everyday laying on the beach in each other’s arms.”
Barry got an idea. “Coast City is only a few hundred miles away. I can get us there in about….hmmm…… ten seconds?” he offered.
Iris licked her lips. She looked from Barry back to McSnurtle. “You think he’ll be fine alone for a little bit?”
“He’s a big boy.”
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torestoreamends · 7 years
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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Recap – 16/12/17
When I see an incredible performance of Cursed Child there’s normally a moment when I look at the stage and think ‘this is very special, and I need to do everything I can to remember it’. With this performance, that didn’t happen. It didn’t hit me how amazing it was until the next day, when all the tiny little details came flooding back to me, and I slowly realised that every single tiny piece of what I’d just seen was flawless.
Every time I see the show I want to see new things, I want to learn something about the characters, or about the technicalities of the show. I want to take something exciting away with me, some new revelation that can feed my future enjoyment of the world and of the show.
With this one, it felt very average at the time. Everyone did their normal things, no one noticeably brought anything particularly new to the table. It was very standard, very well executed; safe but high-quality. But on reflection, within the things I’ve become so familiar with over the last seven months, were new and exciting things, tiny things, that made the whole show incredibly special. Like a layer of glittery festive icing sugar on top of a very standard but tasty chocolate cake. This one definitely glittered.
I think I might get the things that I wasn’t wildly in love with out of the way first, so nothing gets in the way of the lengthy speech I have planned about how much I adore Mackley, Samuel, and James Howard (among others).
So I had never seen a cover Ron until this show. I’ve seen the show n amount of times, and have now seen the main Ron n-1 times. This started out as luck, but recently became more by design. Anyway, I was resigned to this one. I guessed it was coming, prepared myself accordingly, and now there is no longer a character in the play that I haven’t seen a cover for!
I think I need to see Danny’s Ron again. I always find it weird seeing a cover of a character for the first time, because you spend half the play just getting used to them so you don’t really get a full sense of what it is their doing, and what journey they’re going on. But that didn’t stop me having opinions.
I thought he was great with the more serious stuff. I really enjoyed his second timeline (this was one of the best second timelines I’ve seen all round actually), especially the awkward staircase scene with Hermione. Where he fell down was the comedy. I think the problem came from him replicating what Tom does, and obviously he’s a different actor to Tom. I think he would have been a lot more successful if he’d done his own thing with it.
There were things that are really funny when they’re over-emphasised, and he didn’t really push those things. They would have been great if he’d gone further with them (I’m thinking of the baby or a holiday scene in particular, which had good potential, but I just wanted more of everything). Also, in Act Four I found his Ron more standoffish and sulky than a joker, especially in the church, which really didn’t work for me. He’s a good actor, but definitely not my Ron.
Anyway, moving on to the things I really enjoyed.
Part One
This cast is weird. They’ve always been weird. And what I mean by that is that, in general, their Part Two is a lot better than their Part One. It’s been that way ever since the first show, and I don’t know what it is, but Part One often just feels like set up. The real action begins at the end of Act Two, and that’s when the really brilliant stuff comes out. That’s when they fire up.
However, every month or two, they’ll give a performance where Part One really shines. It’ll come alive, every second of it will be compelling, and I’ll be totally blown away. This was definitely one of those. It was a great Part One.
The fun really started with Mackley’s blanket scene. Last time I saw him do one of these I thought it could have been more explosive, but this one was everything I expect from him. He actually screamed himself into tears, which was really cool.
I didn’t notice it this time, but normally one of my favourite things about a Mackley blanket scene is how the power balance between Harry and Albus changes when he’s on as opposed to Theo. When Theo is Albus, Harry takes a position of physical power in the scene – Jamie stands up and towers over him, while he stays curled up on the bed until near the very end of the scene.
With Mackley it’s the opposite. Albus stands up and positions himself behind the bed head, putting a physical barrier between himself and Harry, and using the height advantage over his dad to make himself big and intimidating in his anger, meanwhile Harry sits on the bed looking up at him. Since Jamie uses his physical positioning in scenes in such a specific way, to emphasise where harry feels he is in the pecking order, I actually love seeing this difference. I find it very cool and very fascinating.
The other great bit of the scene this time was how Mackley screamed in his face. It gave me beautiful flashbacks to the days of Jamie P and Sam, when being nose to nose and yelling was a daily occurrence. I can clearly remember Mackley straining as he shouted, and by the time he got to the end of “no, I just wish you weren’t my dad!” his voice cracked, and Albus went from angry to broken in a heartbeat.
That fracturing at the key moment of the scene, when Albus is his angriest, just shows how much Albus really loves his dad and wants to be loved back, and emphasises his despair in the fact that he thinks it will never be possible to get that love. My friend @eldabe said the most brilliant thing, which I think applies perfectly here: “Mackley’s Albus is just such a unique combination of vulnerable kid and confident teenager”. He is confident, he’s bold, he shouts for what he wants, and inside he’s this mess of a child who just wants love and friendship and adventure, and I think that is what I find exciting about him.
Oh the quiz scene in this show... I cannot overstate how much I adore Samuel and Mackley as a combination. They may not be the most Scorbusy, but I love how much fun they have together. I love how Mackley is enough of a loose canon to keep Samuel endlessly entertained.
Whenever I see Mackley and Samuel together they sparkle at each other. They have this joy in their eyes, and you can see their love of performing and performing together, and you can see how much they’re enjoying themselves. This is particularly the case with Samuel, because every time I’ve seen him with Mackley, there comes a point in the show where he stops doing his job and starts having fun. It stops being a thing he loves that is his livelihood, and becomes a game. He sort of takes flight, and everything becomes effortless, and somehow when Samuel is enjoying himself and when he’s flying, he’s even more Scorpius than he is when he’s really focusing on his craft. It’s not really something I can capture in a description, it’s something you have to see for yourself.
But anyway, in this show, the quiz scene was where Samuel started having fun, and from there the rest of the Part was just pure joy. It was delightful.
I remember one moment very clearly from this scene. When Scorpius says “get that strange look out of your eye”, Mackley turned to Samuel, put his hands on his shoulders, and for the first time ever I got this overwhelming sense of Albus as a hero. In that moment, Albus was the hero of his own story, he was taking control of his life, and he was a force of nature.
Over the shows I’ve seen Mackley do as Albus, I’ve seen the balance between Albus and Scorpius get better and better. The first time, I didn’t even notice Anthony until some point in Act Four, because Mackley and Albus were the star of the show. But the more I see him with Samuel, the more the balance between Albus and Scorpius gets. Albus no longer dominates Part One the way he once did; this quiz scene was the only moment where I really felt he was in control of their partnership.
Ed was in Danny’s track in the St Oswald’s scene. It was aesthetically pleasing. (If anyone doesn’t know why that’s significant... message me and I’ll explain.)
This was only the second time I’d seen Martin as Amos/Dumbledore, and I certainly enjoyed his Amos a lot more this time (I already loved his Dumbledore). It took me until this second show to get used to his voice and the way he plays the character. He feels a lot more solid, and a bit younger than Barry; more tough and up for a fight, and I quite like that. It certainly worked well in the scene at St Oswald’s, where he and Mackley were going at each other. I also love how you can see Delphi getting more and more frustrated with him, because he’s so head strong and difficult to control.
One of my favourite things about seeing Mackley as Albus is getting to see him play not only with Samuel, but also with Annabel. You can see how well they get on and how used to each other they are. The two of them really come alive together. The best example of this is the ‘Wizzo!’ moment.
They don’t decide before they go on what they’re going to do there. It’s pure improv. Annabel comes up with an idea on the spot (presumably something as ridiculous as she can think of) and Mackley has to copy her as if he’s been doing it all along. And then Samuel has to come rushing in and go along with the whole mess. It’s really glorious. (This show’s wasn’t the best one I’ve seen. Annabel confessed last time Mackley was on that she was running out of ideas, and while this one was fine and very ridiculous, Samuel didn’t pick up on it as well as I’ve seen him do before. There have been some truly stellar ones before though.)
The other random thing that I adore about Mackley is how calm he is about the Expelliarmus. It doesn’t look like he’s at all worried about catching the wand. He does the trick a lot slower than Theo, but that actually makes it better, because he’s so confident in it that you never doubt for a second that it‘ll work. It’s always very impressive.
I have been hearing about James McGregor’s Bane for a long time, but have never managed to see him before. However, I finally understood what all the fuss was about (honestly, I got AA16 for the most aesthetically pleasing show ever – Ed as ‘Danny’, James as Bane, and Leah as Polly. Even I was jealous of me.) Anyway, I did just about manage to form coherent thoughts about James’s Bane, which was no mean feat, let me tell you.
He’s a very young seeming Bane. His anger is raw and new. Nuno’s (and Adam’s too from what I remember) feels worldly and developed over years of bitterness and hatred, but James’s Bane has a similar sort of anger to Albus, one that’s just beginning to take flame. It was a really interesting take, and he felt sort of naive in his anger. It made me wonder how long centaurs live, because I always assumed Bane was older by now, but maybe not in centaur years. Anything goes when your character is a magical creature!
I had three favourite things from the First Task scene this time. 1. Josh and James P spelling TWT with their hands at the start of the scene. I’ve seen this before, but it’s normally Mackley and James P, so it was cute seeing James P teaching it to Josh in character at the very beginning of the scene. 2. Before the ‘I love Krum’ chant, Mackley turns his back on the audience, and when it starts he does a Macarena style jump to start the routine. It’s ridiculous, and I love everything about it. 3. Rupert decided he was very very scared of the dragons, and went to hide behind Ed, who ended up right at the front of the crowd.
Also, I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it before, but I love everything Samuel does in this scene (I love everything he does in every scene but whatever). Scorpius gets so excited working out which task it is, and looking around the crowd. He’s so overwhelmed to be part of history, it’s adorable. One of Scorpius’s cutest moments, and one of the (many) parts where you realise how perfect Samuel is.
A really cool thing in the hospital wing scene was seeing how detached Martin’s Dumbledore is from everything. It was so portrait-like. At the end of the scene, when he says ‘and I never had a son’, he wasn’t looking at Harry. It was like he couldn’t bring himself to, or maybe just that a portrait can’t express emotion in that way. Either way it was very interesting, and it goes along with what Martin’s said before about Dumbledore being a grief stricken old man, and very similar to Amos in that sense. That grief and emotion, and the inability to express it (especially at this point in the show) really makes sense.
I will never not love the potent look between Scorpius and Harry, once Albus has run away after telling Scorpius he can’t talk to him anymore. It’s such a guilty, heartbreaking thing. (Also, Mackley’s version of Albus running away is so gorgeous. It’s definitely one of those ‘vulnerable kid’ moments, which are so powerful beside the confident teenager he’s playing earlier in the scene. He so desperately needs his dad that he’s willing to throw everything away with Scorpius for a chance a his dad’s love.)
The DADA scene in this show was absolutely flawless. I’ve never loved Rakie’s Hermione as much as I did this time around. She usually has brilliant interaction with everyone in the scene, but this time in particular she had these really cool moments with all of them. I remember her catching Josh laughing and crouching down in front of him when she said the ‘what limited popularity you’ve got left line’ and then sort of repeating to him a couple of times that he should be quiet, while he looked utterly bemused and a little bit afraid. At one point she also told April off. Having said all that, she was a lot calmer and more contained in this show than others, and I think that was why I loved it so much – she has a tendency to play it too wild for my personal taste.
So last time I saw the play I discovered a new technical detail that I’ve never seen before. In the duel scene, as well as the handles on the back of Harry and Draco’s costumes to help them be lifted more easily, @ohscorbus and I noticed that Draco is wearing a sort of harness under his robes. I noticed it again in this one, and thought it was a fun little thing that’s super subtle and that people might miss.
Anyway, this was a fantastic duel. Possibly Jamie G’s best attempt at a Flipendo ever. He landed perfectly on his feet, and I was incredibly impressed. I think he was impressed too, because he ended up in the wrong place for the next spell while he was recovering from doing so well! He had to run across the stage, which I’ve never seen him do.
The best bit, though, was the bit after the duel. James Howard was exceptional in this one. He was the person in particular who didn’t anything especially stunning, but he exuded Draco to an extent I’ve never seen before even from him. Every detail was beautiful, and on reflection those details were even more breathtaking than they felt at the time.
I love it when he speaks so softly as he says “don’t lose the boy”. Draco means that line with every part of his soul. That experience and that sentiment is what makes him such a good and caring dad. He gets that sort of thing. He understands and identifies with Albus, whether or not he knows it, and that softness, the deliberateness, just proves it. I far prefer a quiet delivery to the louder ones. Counter-intuitively, it makes it much more direct and impactful.
I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but Samuel’s library scene is a work of art. Truly, it is a masterpiece. And I mean that in the highest sense of the word. Every single thing he says and does is so carefully crafted, into this wash of emotion and atmosphere. He holds the audience in the palm of his hand. This scene is why I want to have words with everyone who hasn’t given him an acting award yet. Because really. Really really.
Anyway, this was one of the best. This was beautiful. Because not only was Samuel firing on all cylinders, but Mackley was too. This was another instance of Mackley yelling himself into tears, and Samuel responded with emotion and anger and all the power and strength that Scorpius has inside him.
It was an angry, loud one. The tears were angry tears. And yet the bit about Astoria was so soft. (Don’t get me started on Samuel’s dynamics. I could write a novel.) Actually though, the best bits of stillness and quiet came in the second half of the scene.
One of the things Mackley does so incredibly well is having the confidence and courage to be absolutely still and hold an emotion on stage. He does it after Albus’s sorting, and he did it again here.
When they emerged from beneath the Invisibility Cloak he just stood at the back of the stage looking at Scorpius for the longest time, totally silent and still, and when he moved forward it was tentative and nervous, like he didn’t know if he was allowed to be near Scorpius anymore. The whole interaction was soft and slow and full of silent tension. Samuel always takes so long to say “thanks”, and normally Theo is waiting to jump straight back in again and go on with the apology, but Mackley didn’t. He took a pause that only built the tension and atmosphere between them.
When the hug in this scene finally came, Albus hugged Scorpius so hard that he actually lifted him off his feet. Samuel was not expecting that. He was so determined that Scorpius should not hug Albus back, that he ended up flailing his arms and feet around in the air in an attempt to kill his instincts for self-preservation. It was very sweet.
A final note on Part One. April has changed the line “girls and boys” to “boys and girls” a couple of times now. It makes the line feel very weird, but it is quite entertaining. I’d like to know if it’s deliberate, because she’s so confident about it that you really can’t tell.
Oh and one more, because I can’t help myself. I love how when Myrtle flirts with Scorpius, Samuel closes his robes over himself and makes himself all small, and then when she flirts with Draco, James hunches his shoulders and makes himself as small as he can too. It’s so sweet to see how much they really are father and son. These Malfoys are perfection.
It was an utterly gorgeous Part One. I loved every second of it, and it got me very excited for Part Two.
Part Two
This Part Two was such a slow burn of feelings that even now, over forty-eight hours later, I’m still suffering. I got very little from it in the moment, but it continues to slay me, which is a good part of why I’m writing this recap! The more I think about it, the more I love it. So I shall now make myself love it even more...
Samuel corpsing is my favourite thing. His ambition in life seems to be to make everyone on stage with him break, so to see someone else break him is a thing of beauty. I’m beginning to wonder if actually Elizabeth is trying to make him crack in the first scene of the act, by getting creepier and creepier. Anyway, whether it was deliberate or not, I think she managed it.
She sort of stroked Samuel’s cheek in this chillingly creepy way, and I’m pretty sure Samuel lost it for a bit. He was still sort of half grinning, half laughing in the next couple of scenes. But like I say, it’s difficult to tell sometimes if he’s broken or not, because he spends so much of his time smiling, and he also has Scorpius do all these anxious smiles when he’s very afraid, which he definitely is in this scene.
I love Leah’s Polly. I don’t think I have anything more to say about it than that... She’s great. I hope she stays next year and gets promoted, because she’s definitely my favourite Polly ever.
So the scene in Draco’s office. This has become (perhaps it’s always been) my favourite scene in the show. I love it with everything I have, and I love watching Samuel and James’s version – every one of their versions of it.
This was a very standard version of the scene. It had all the normal stuff that I’ve come to expect from these two. Samuel cried, Draco came out from behind the desk when I expected him to, Draco grabbed Scorpius’s chin and studied him... The usual.
Except this scene, on reflection, was so far from usual. It was stunning. Stunning for two main reasons.
First, when Draco emerged from behind the desk, he glanced over his shoulder at the door before saying “did your mother really say that of me?” I’ve talked to James about the possibility of Draco being undercover in this world, and I sort of take that as read in his portrayal at this point. So this glance over his shoulder was wanting to make sure no one would overhear this dangerous thing: how desperately he wanted to confirm that Astoria had said he was brave.
Second, after the chin grab he turned round and braced himself on the desk. This is powerful enough already, because he simply can’t face Scorpius when he says “can’t lose you too”. He’s trying to stay strong, but he knows he’ll break if he looks Scorpius in the eye. However, in this version there was an added level of potency.
As he said the line he ran his fingers round the edge of his wedding ring. He was so obviously thinking of how much it hurt him to lose Astoria, he doesn’t want anymore of her light to leave his life. Scorpius, this Scorpius in particular, is the last piece of hope that he has left to hold onto. He needs Scorpius so much in that world. Scorpius is his inspiration to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep up his Malfoy front and be who his family needs him to be. That single little run of fingers round the wedding ring has caused me a lot of pain in the last day or so. James is so rude, but I love him for it.
David’s writing on the blackboard is getting more obscure by the day, which is fun, but also a bit frustrating. It’s gone beyond the point where I know the phrase or can easily find it through google. This show’s one was ‘sapienter di-‘ so if anyone has any Latin intel and can help out with a translation, let me know!
Why is it that the covers are so good at getting hooked onto the Dementors, when the main actors do it every day and are still rubbish? I find it mind-boggling. Anyway, if Danny and Nicola ever end up doing a show together it will be the most stress-free Voldemort timeline we’ve ever seen.
I want to know what Draco says to Scorpius during their walk up to the castle together after the boys have returned from the lake. You can always see Draco talking to Scorpius, maybe telling him off, during the end of the scene by the lake, but he can’t be all angry, he must also be so relieved. I’d love to hear all that... I wonder if maybe after Draco is done telling Scorpius off he just stops talking, and it’s tense, awkward silence for the rest of the walk.
Josh as Karl in the bit with the kids eavesdropping on McGonagall’s office is really cute. Normally Mackley’s Karl does such a good job of comforting Rose, it’s one of his most lovely scenes, but Josh’s Karl really does not. He has no idea what to do. Craig and Yann end up coaching him through it, telling him he’s closest to her so he has to do something, telling him what it is he needs to do. And in the end all Josh’s Karl can manage is a really awkward little pat on the shoulder.
Mackley’s Albus’s relationship with Harry really shines in Part Two. This is also where we see the ‘confident teenager’ part of his personality come out. He’s so bold in his interactions with Harry. Where Theo’s Albus turns away, avoids eye contact, almost hides himself, Mackley’s Albus does the opposite.
In the dorm scene, when they’re sitting on the suitcase, Mackley has Albus turn to face his dad right from “Really scared you?” It turns from being slightly bitter and disbelieving to a real question, and Harry’s response to it shifts, towards amazement that his son doesn’t understand how scared he is of everything. It’s a real step on their journey, that with these two comes from Albus’s boldness.
The beginning of Scorpius and Albus’s dorm scene feels so empty without the pillow fight these days. It’s very weird.
The Owlery scene was pretty great in this one. Annabel and Mackley get on so well together that their interactions are brilliant, and then you have Samuel on the edge figuring things out on his own.
Scorpius realising Delphi was evil was really cool this time. He said “I don’t believe you were ever ill” so softly, like he was just disappointed in her. Disappointed and upset. She’d let him down by lying to him, when all he wanted was to trust her like Albus did. It was a lovely take on the moment.
Also, Annabel was kind of grabby, touchy feely with the boys. Delphi patted Scorpius on the knee; help Albus’s face, all the good stuff that makes her extra creepy.
This torture scene wasn’t just good, it was revelatory. Ever since the 17th of September, when I first saw Mackley with this cast, I’ve been on something of a journey of discovery with this scene. In that show, this scene really confused and disconcerted me. I found Mackley’s take on it so far from my concept of Albus (which he normally matches up with so well) that I was completely thrown off. And then, of course, I saw Theo do the same things that I’d seen Mackley do, but for some reason I preferred them then. So I’ve been figuring this one out, talking about it a lot, trying to understand where both Theo and Mackley are coming from, and I think I finally get it.
Mackley has Albus almost completely collapse in this scene. He’s still fierce, but that’s inspired by Scorpius, who’s the strong one, the one holding everything up. Scorpius is using everything he gained in the Voldemort timeline to be solid and keep fighting and refuse to be broken, and Albus latches onto that.
I don’t think Mackley nodded to say that yes he would go along with Delphi this time, but I’ve talked to both him and Theo about what it means when it does happen, and it’s a ploy. It’s to convince her that he’s going to go along with her, and buy himself and Scorpius (mostly Scorpius) time. And even if it’s not that, even if it’s just a total, fearful collapse, I can sort of understand that too.
The way Mackley plays Albus’s reaction to Craig’s death is to fall apart, all his fight and self-confidence imploding, and I see why. It’s not that event that destroys him, that’s just the tipping point, it’s that on top of everything that’s happened.
When Albus decides to destroy the Time-Turner, it’s because he’s already so broken by the thought of the damage he’s caused. This is a boy who (according to Theo) has nightmares about anything bad happening to his family. In everything that’s happened in the show to this point, all that Albus has done is hurt people, and he’s very much aware of that. He’s caused damage to the whole world, to his family, and to Scorpius, and in destroying the Time-Turner he set out to put all that right, but all he’s done is get someone else killed, for which he fully blames himself. So of course he collapses! It’s the despair of a kid who wants to do some good and still fucks up.
At his lowest point in this scene he must question whether he’s worthy of anything (Scorpius’s friendship, his dad’s love, any of it), if this is what his impact on the world is. Maybe this is what the Sorting Hat saw in him, this potential for complete and utter destruction.
In the context of a good, kind, loving boy, who just wants friendship and for his dad to appreciate him, it’s heart breaking. He’s heroic and noble, and so much like his dad – he takes the weight of everything on his shoulders. And for a kid like that to get to the point he reaches in this scene is devastating. It’s the opposite of everything he wants to be, and he really thinks it’s all his fault, even though so much of it has come from his manipulation.
So that was the revelation I reached, watching Mackley in this scene. I’ve finally come full circle, and figured out exactly where he was going with Albus on the 17th of September. I’ve learned a lot about Albus in the last three months, and I’m really glad I have, because now I can appreciate how that Albus that confused me so much is still the same as my Albus.
Another person who I had a minor revelation about in this show was James Howard. If you know me you’ll know that James has been my Draco ever since I saw his very first performance. I’ve loved him every step of the way. And on Saturday I managed to pin down one of the reasons I adore his Draco so very much.
James has nailed Draco’s instinct for both self-preservation, and the need to protect his son. He plays a Draco who has clearly learned so much from his life experiences, who knows how to behave in duels, and around instances of Dark Magic, and who knows how to do all sorts of difficult spells. But he’s also learned these sort of worldly instincts, things like how to handle hierarchy in a situation, when it’s his place to step in and fight, and when to let someone else take charge and trust that they’ll do a good job. When he’s functioning in a group and not as a lone wolf, he’s brilliant, despite his social awkwardness and how afraid he is.
He knows how to survive all sorts of situations, because he’s seen so much, done so much, experienced heartbreak and failure and true fear. Everything he does in the play is about survival, it’s that instinct to keep himself and his son going, whether it’s in the Voldemort timeline when he’s defending their position, or when he knows Scorpius has been kidnapped, or when he’s fighting Delphi with the group. He can manoeuvre around all those situations, and James makes that feel so real, like such a basic instinct for Draco.
He makes his acting choices, and the person he sees Draco as being, feel entirely real, entirely ingrained, and his thoughts and ideas are like pure instinct and mannerism. There’s no separation between him and Draco, and it’s an incredible thing that I’m in awe of and would love to know how he pulls off.
I’ve now seen Morag as the Station Mistress twice! I actually saw her first show, which I think was a surprise to the cast as much as to us – James McGregor was listed on the cast board, so that first time she was a last minute substitution.
The second time was definitely better from all sides. Having her as a surprise was very cool, but also sort of threw off the whole balance of the scene, and it was better with practice, because the boys had to switch up their lines, and she had to figure out where to stand on the stage to make the scene work.
I’ve spoken to a lot of people who seem to prefer Martin’s Amos to his Dumbledore, but I’m actually the opposite. Although I’ve warmed to his Amos now I’m used to it, I think the standout is his Dumbledore, which is really fascinating.
He gives Dumbledore so much fragility and pain. Although his Amos is a lot more solid-feeling than Barry’s, his Dumbledore really isn’t. His Dumbledore is fracturing at the seams and falling apart. It’s not a take I’ve thought of before, but I love it a lot, especially in the context of Martin’s theory that Dumbledore and Amos’s grief is what makes them so similar.
I can’t remember if I did Cackle Watch with Alex last year, but I’m certainly doing it with James. I have this theory that the destiny of everyone who plays Draco is to end up cackling when they say “maybe it’ll be mine soon enough”. I think it’s an inevitability of inhabiting that character for a year. It just happens. Alex did it, and now James is just proving the point, because every show he sneaks just a teeny bit closer to cackling there. At the moment it’s still a laugh (albeit an evil one), but soon... Soon we shall achieve full cackle.
Having raved about James, because I think he’s perfect, I do want to pull up one thing he does that’s getting increasingly annoying and frustrating with every show, and that is the way he delivers “she wanted me to have someone when she left”. He does this stupid, unnecessary, really fake pretend sob as he says it, and his voice cracks, and maybe it’s just me having seen him do it *cough* number of times, but it’s irritating, and I wish he’d stop.
The emotion he generates in that speech about Astoria and Scorpius is so beautiful, he does an amazing job, and I feel like the fake sob throws away all his hard work. It doesn’t need to be there to make him sound emotional. I’ve seen some absolutely stunning versions of that speech, and I wish he would have the confidence or whatever it is he needs to just see that through, rather than trying to ‘sound emotional’ and ruining the real, natural atmosphere he’s created.
A gorgeous thing he does in this scene, once he’s come back from the awful fake emotion, is to cradle the Time-Turner after Harry says “and nor will a Time-Turner, I’m afraid”. That thing contains all his hope of saving Astoria and Scorpius. It contains everyone he loves in the world. It’s all he has left at this point in the play. If the show ended after that scene, Draco would be left only with a gold Time-Turner, and the knowledge that he could search for centuries and never manage to get his beloved family back, and that is heartbreaking and wonderful. He cradles it like a baby, like he’s holding a much younger Scorpius safe in his arms, with so much gentleness. It’s Draco’s saddest moment of the play.
The best thing about a Mackley and Samuel show is Godric’s Hollow, when they just go wild. This wasn’t the wildest one I’ve seen from these two (I still fondly remember the 17th of September when it was both of their last shows before a break, and they went totally nuts and Mackley made Samuel corpse), but it was lovely, the culminating moment being when they both leapt into the air an inch apart and I truly thought for a second that we were going to get a dorky Scorbus chest bump, which might actually have killed me. They did not actually do a chest bump, but we were so close. I hope they do it one day. It would be wonderful.
I put in my bullet point plan of this recap that I should mention the snow in Mackley’s hair so... here we are. Mackley has the perfect hair for collecting snow. It just sits there, all nestled in the fluff. It’s great.
I have about ten thousand favourite things about Samuel’s performance, but one of my most beloved elements is what he does when the seven are looking for the perfect place to wait for Delphi. Obviously in the script, Hermione is the one who spots St Jerome’s as a great hiding place, but over the summer, Samuel started having Scorpius sort of point it out a few seconds before she spotted it. He would sort of look between here and the clock, and surreptitiously point. She didn’t notice for a long time, until one glorious show when she turned round and caught him. Ever since then, spotting St Jerome’s has become a collaborative effort between Scorpius and Hermione, and it’s such a sweet moment between them. I love that Samuel throws in fun little things like that.
At the line “It was Rodolphus Lestrange, Bellatrix’s loyal husband’ Annabel changes Rodolphus for Bellatrix, resulting in a momentary pause as she considered how to escape from this fuck up, and in which I freaked out, as I do when these things happen. She almost recovered perfectly. The line got a teeny bit warped but what can you do? The most astounding thing about it was that Annabel messed up a line, because I feel like she never does that! Everything is always so natural and in the moment, and flows so well, that it seems as though she is Delphi. She delivers the lines differently every show, just going with how the mood takes her, and it’s that naturalness that’s always so impressive with her.
The hug in this one between the Malfoys when Lily and James are being killed was utterly heartbreaking. When Voldemort was confronting Lily, Draco was already kissing Scorpius’s hair and trying to comfort him, and the second she was hit with the Killing Curse, Scorpius grabbed his dad as tight as he could and hid himself in his arms, with Draco cradling him and protecting him. I don’t think I’ve ever seen them hug so fiercely.
And then, to make everything worse, when the seven were spinning away on the turntable at the end of the scene, I could see Scorpius shifting his hands on his dad’s back, like he was trying to hold onto more and more of him, as much as he possibly could. There was so much desperate need, and love and support there. It was beautiful.
I love a good penultimate scene, especially when there’s adorable teasing and stuff going on.
Recently, when the staircase gets wheeled on at the start of the scene, Samuel has started bouncing around and getting all hyper and excitable before anything has even happened – it reminds me a lot of when he’s tapping his fingers together with excitement for the start of the dorm scene. His Scorpius is full of constant energy and hyperactivity – he must have been an exhausting child; I almost feel sorry for Draco and Astoria.
Mackley does a great teasing Albus. I remember him flapping his robes at Scorpius, laughing about Rose, all sorts. I think all the Albuses have picked up on the way Helen flails her robes when she says “Scorpion King”, and are determined to mock it. Also, I love Mackley’s “and she said no”, which is sort of sung all dramatic and opera style, and ends with him cackling. Like I say, teasing Albus is great.
I can’t talk about this scene without talking about Samuel’s delivery of the new version of us line, which is so utterly unacceptable, and only gets worse every time I see the show. He says it so slowly. It’s so painfully and beautifully uncertain and heartfelt. It’s like Scorpius is navigating his feelings along with the words. He goes so softly and carefully through it, picking his way from word to word, and it’s that uncertainty that makes it real, and gives it weight.
You can tell how important it is to Scorpius to say what he’s saying and say it well. And like he’s said at stage door, this is a moment where the boys know something has changed between them; that it’s something incredibly important, but not yet quite what it is or what it means. That is what Scorpius is trying to put into words here, and Samuel does it with such beautiful, tentative, meaningful perfection. I could write songs about the hope that the end of this scene brings. It’s exceptional.
I’m not going to end the recap on a low note by talking about Mackley’s pigeon racing line – just know that it was so cringey this show (the worst I’ve seen) that I almost crawled under my seat and hid. Other things from the final scene, though, include the ending of the fabulous arc Mackley sets up around Craig’s death and how it impacts on Albus, and ultimately on the repair of his relationship with Harry.
I also really want to touch on one of my favourite bits of meta from the show, which I’ve really grown to love recently. It requires a tiny bit of backtracking to the scene with Hagrid in the house after Lily and James’s deaths. At this point, the back wall of the theatre retracts, so there’s a gap between the brick wall and the arch detailing. It creates the effect that Hagrid really is standing in the ruins of a house, with just a barebones structure around him.
But at the end of this scene, the back wall stays retracted, and as the fire fades, the impression is not so much of a ruin, but of a structure, a scaffolding, something solid and new and bare that can be built around. And building is what’s happening in these last two scenes, when Scorpius and Albus try to figure out where their friendship is now, and as Harry and Albus tentatively explore how to be a good father and son for each other.
I absolutely love this tiny bit of a set design. I think it’s brilliant. Everything has been torn away, stripped back and laid bare. They’ve all revealed so much of themselves in the last Act, and now they’re starting from a new foundation. They’re going to start building something new together, using the tentative scaffolding of the experiences they’ve shared and the things they’ve learned, and it’s not going to be easy, but they’ll make it work. I think that back wall symbolises hope, and growth, and the future.
So there we go. A recap! It’s not full of every tiny detail (because I would have to write a novel and I don’t need to start a second one of those), but this show was good enough to be worth something, because it was so full of insight, and just such an interesting experience.
I’m a repeat viewer of this show because I always want to learn about the characters and the story and the technicality of this play, so any performance that teaches me as much as this one did is a real standout in my books.
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robininthelabyrinth · 7 years
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Fic: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie (Ao3 link) Fandom: Flash, Legends of Tomorrow, Arrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart
Summary: Unicorns are a blessed species, known universally for their beauty, their purity, and their ability to identify and bond with a human hero destined to achieve great things.
Leonard Snart just wishes they'd go away already.
A/N: Warning - this is basically a crack fic. Not going to lie. There is no substantive value to this whatsoever.
For @oneiriad's Coldwave Creature Bingo and for @jq-piccadilly, who mentioned the idea about unicorns like a year ago - thanks for the inspiration
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"I thought you'd be pleased," Oliver says, lips pursed. "This way he's out of your hair."
"You can't just lock up Captain Cold!" Barry squawks through the phone. "Just - I'll be there soon - don't do anything -"
The phone starts clicking in that irritating fashion that indicates that Barry has started running at super-speed before turning off the phone.
Oliver hangs up instead and turns to look at the two supervillains he had captured - at some trouble, no less. He'd already called the police about them.
"What do you have over the Flash?"
"Nothing," Heatwave grunts. Captain Cold just looks smug.
Of course, that seems to be his default expression.
"Then why does he want you freed?"
"Guess he's more comfortable with us at home," Cold drawls. He leers.
Oliver snorts at the implication. "He's engaged."
"She's very nice, too," Heatwave says agreeably. "But we aren't fucking 'em at the moment. Not what he meant."
"So you threatened..?"
They both look offended. In fairness, Oliver has heard of the Rogues' Code even in Star City, so he shrugs. It still doesn't make sense.
Barry breezes in and heads straight for Cold. "Oh, man, look at that, you bruised him!" he exclaims crossly, glaring at Oliver like this is somehow his fault. Which, yes, the bruising is, but it had been something of a heated battle… "They're gonna be so upset!"
"You fight Captain Cold on a regular basis," Oliver points out, feeling increasingly out of his depth. Madmen and murderers, fine, he can deal with that, but maybe this is one of Barry's bizarre alternate Earth adventures gone wrong...?
"I don't bruise him!"
"You kinda do, Scarlet," Cold says, nasal voice amused. "But I don't hold it against you." His smirk widens. "Glad to see you care, though."
"I just don't want unicorn tears on my doorstep again," Barry huffs.
Oliver's eyebrows shoot up. "Unicorns? You found a unicorn hero?"
Unicorns, of course, were the rarest of the rare. Delicate elk-like creatures, like horses with coats made of moonlight and manes that shine like rainbows in the light; they were said to be able to sense the presence of greatness in a virgin, typically a child, and bonded to them as a sign of incipient greatness. Of course, sociologists argued that it was public perception that associated unicorns with heroes and the roles of the unicorn heroes in important events was nothing more than confirmation bias and self-fulfilling prophecies, a conclusion which the biologists supported with claims that unicorns had evolved to have the ability to form social bonds with humans. Some people even argued that this was developed as a means to protect their herds by sacrificing a single unicorn to bond with a human so that they wouldn't be hunted for their horns and purported magic healing and protective abilities.
No one believed them, of course. Unicorns were universally revered.
Oliver wouldn't have been surprised that Barry was a unicorn hero, but he hadn’t had one last time they’d met and the lore was pretty firm on virginity being a requirement...
Oliver squints at Barry.
"Not me!" Barry yelps. "Him!"
"...are you telling me Captain Cold was chosen to have his own unicorn?"
"His own unicorn?" Heatwave snorts. "More like his own goddamn army."
That's about when Oliver realizes (slightly belatedly) that Leonard Snart, supervillain and internationally wanted thief, is the same Leonard Snart infamous for having been chosen by an entire herd of unicorns.
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It started traditionally enough.
Little Leo Snart spent a lot of time out of doors in an attempt to avoid his father, who had returned from his short stint in prison meaner than ever and a lot less likely to refrain from using his fists when he was disappointed. Being a child of Central City, he didn't really trust in parks or green stuff, and avoided it whenever possible.
Of course, when his father drove him an hour into the countryside and left him there, little Leo Snart didn't have much choice about going through it.
It wasn't a Hansel and Gretel story, as the adult Leonard Snart is quick to tell people. He wasn't being abandoned. On the contrary, his dad had ditched him - and, more importantly, the bricks of cocaine that he'd been smuggling - on the edge of a road and had entirely intended on picking him up later. It'd been little Leo's own fault for getting lost in all that awful green.
This is the part in the story in which everyone listening winces and exclaims, "Don't tell me you fed the -?! To the unicorns?"
Of course not.
Little Leo Snart robbed a convenience store before getting lost. Obviously. Who do you think he is?
So when little Leo Snart first found the unicorn, he fed it a granola bar, because he had the most of those. Oh, and there was the glorious moment of shining light, the signal of bonding, but little Leo Snart was too poor to afford a television, his father too cruel to tell him tales, his stepmother too distracted to remind him, his school too focused on survival to care, so he hadn’t really heard all that much about unicorn heroes except by hearsay.
Little Leo Snart saw the light and went "oh God I must be dying of dehydration, I'm starting to see mirages" and scurried away from his unicorn.
The unicorn followed, of course. It huffed angrily when little Leo offered a different unicorn a granola bar.
"You shut up," little Leo told it. "You already got one and decided not to stab me. I want this fellow here to make the same decision."
The same logic applied to unicorn number three, though that was more because she'd bashed her head against a tree and little Leo felt sorry for her obvious stupidity. It reminded him of his teacher's cat - loveable, but a little thick-headed, always ending up where it couldn't get back down from alone.
The unicorns spent a lot of time glaring at each other after that, adult Leonard Snart recalls with a wryness that his younger and more ignorant self did not possess, but he'd used a rolled-up magazine to smack their noses when they tried to charge each other on the assumption that if it worked for the neighbor's dog it ought to work on a unicorn.
Amazingly enough, it did.
Little Leo Snart felt bad for the unicorns three that had decided to follow him for reasons clear to everyone (he gave them food) but not to him (damn the American educational system!) and so ended up leading them into an orchard on his way back to the main road.
Then he'd hitchhiked a ride home while they were still happily prancing around in there and thought no more of it.
That, you see, was his mistake.
Unicorns do tend to bond only with one human, and only one unicorn at a time: the loners of the herd, the shy ones, the ones not exactly the right fit for where they are. It is, as the sociologists swear, an evolutionary design by which the least fit members of the herd are sacrificed to the human flock to preserve the mystique of the unicorn hero and thereby cause humans, desperate for heroes, to leave the remainder of the herd alone.
(That's not how evolution works, the biologists shout. What are you even on about?! Stop using that word! That’s our word!)
But you know what you get when you put a bunch of antisocial loners together in an overripe orchard, where they can snack on fermented plums to their heart's delight, and then leave them there?
Incredibly drunk unicorns bonding with each other over the dumbass human that ditched them there, that's what.
Each one of Leonard's Snart original herd - Flora, Fauna and Merriweather, because little Leo Snart had just seen Sleeping Beauty and it was the closest thing he could think of that wasn't totally dumb - started out as loners but discovered, as many more intellectually developed human loners did, that getting drunk and bitching about other people is a great way to become friends.
Once they were friends, of course, they no longer required - or, indeed, were susceptible to - the pull of a human bonding. It is Leonard Snart's belief, still standing, that they came after him just to show him up for daring to leave them behind.
This theory ascribes too much intellect to unicorns, which are more like monkeys or crows or dogs than humans, and yet the unicorn's cunning and ability to learn patterns is unmistakable.
Their presence is pretty unmistakable, too, which is why a trio of drunk unicorns barreling down a suburban street, huffing and snorting and singing their characteristic wail of sorrow, until they found little Leo Snart, was something that a lot of people took notice of. Especially well past midnight.
In this part of town, of course, no one called the police or the media about it. A Family representative did show up a few hours later, as little Leo Snart was yelling at them in the backyard to go back to wherever the hell they came from, and - tired from a long day of whatever the fuck gangsters do all day - suggested that little Leo let them stay until morning when they could be examined.
Little Leo Snart knew better than to disobey gangsters - see, he told you this wasn't a typical story, even if it does have the trappings thereof - and let them into his house and into his heart.
By morning, of course, it was too late. The examination revealed that all three half-grown unicorn yearlings - assholes, every one of them - had bonded with little Leo Snart and would answer to no one else.
This would be less of a problem, of course, if little Leo Snart wasn't already sentenced to go to juvie in about a week.
(He wasn't fourteen. That was a lie he and Mick perpetuated because it made Mick seem like less of a sap. The part about the shiv is true, but Mick barely did more than delay them until a set of murderous unicorns tried to break down the door.)
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"So," Mick says after a few minutes. "Unicorns, huh?"
"They're a recent acquisition," Len grumbles.
"Plural unicorns."
"They won't go away!"
"And you still got sent to juvie?"
Len makes a face. "They happened post-sentencing."
Mick nods wisely. The justice system, once its creaky gears had been set in motion, waits for no one and nothing.
They sit in silence for a few minutes.
"Think they're gonna let us out of here anytime soon?" Mick eventually asks.
Len gets up and goes to peek out of the little window in the door to the rest of the juvenile hall facility, him and Mick having locked themselves in the kitchen at first instance of trouble. The process of peeking involves tip-toes and, humiliatingly, a step-stool.
At first he sees nothing of interest, the coast (and the hallway) being clear.
"It's -" he starts to say.
A moment later a terrified adult dashes across the hallway, pursued at a respectable distance by a screaming unicorn stallion which is shrill with rage and foaming a little at the mouth.
"- not clear yet," Len concludes.
"Know when they'll calm down?"
"No goddamn idea. Barely saw them the week before I came here; I was trying to take care of my baby sister."
Mick shrugs and pats the floor next to him. Len returns there, since he and Mick have - since that initial rescue - introduced themselves, made friends, and agreed that it was too damn cold not to snuggle for warmth, an act neither would ever speak of again.
Len likes Mick.
"They've gotta get tired eventually, right?" Mick asks.
"I guess so," Len replies. He sighs ostentatiously. "I don't care if it gets me a shorter sentence, I'm looking up a way to get rid of them as soon as we get out of him. Someone's gotta want the buggers."
"I dunno," Mick says. "They're kinda cute."
Len shoves at Mick's shoulders. "You take 'em, then."
"You couldn't pay me to hang around 'em," Mick lies.
The unicorns do, eventually, get tired and Len and Mick rejoin their shaken classmates. Everyone is very, very nice to the two of them from that point on.
Len never does find a way to get rid of them, but Mick sticks around anyway.
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"Len?"
"Yeah?"
"They're poking at me with their snouts again."
"Goddamnit, guys! I told you he's part of the herd!"
Three sets of big dewy eyes look at Len.
"Part! Of! The! Herd!"
It takes about a month, but abruptly they decide that Mick is a Good One and take to bringing him choice bits of hay and grass and fruit and occasionally small animals, because unicorns are omnivorous like that.
Mick is delighted. Len resigns himself to being surrounded by four crazy mammals instead of three.
Five, if you count baby Lisa.
Len never thought his life could be so rich.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Len is about nineteen when Merriweather's increasing antics finally result in the inevitable.
Len is horrified.
Mick finds it hysterical.
"You never got 'em spayed, did you?" he asks in between gales of laughter.
"I didn't - they - you can't get them spayed, they ain't cats - they - Merriweather, you dick!"
Merriweather looks very proud of himself, nuzzling both Flora and Fauna. Both mares look equally pleased with themselves and the way their bellies have started protruding.
With more unicorns.
"That's the problem, I think," Mick points out with some justice.
"I don't have room for two more!" Len shouts. "I barely got Dad to agree to these, and only 'cause the Family thought they were cute -"
"Can I have a unicorn baby once they're born?" Lisa asks interestedly.
"No!"
"How long is a unicorn pregnancy, anyhow?" Mick asks.
About a year, it turns out, which gives Len enough time to beg enough money from all the sources he can think of - the words "baby unicorn" work like magic to turn on the money spigot, apparently - to build a small stable out by Keystone where Mick has some land.
Everyone politely ignores how Mick came into that particular land.
Len asks only once if Mick's okay with the use he's putting it to and Mick just shrugs.
"My sister Mandy woulda liked having a unicorn baby," he says. "Even Ellie woulda thought it was neat, I'd bet. They were twins, you know, and they hated ever liking the same thing, but I think they'd agree on this one."
When Fauna, ever an over-achiever, ends up having twin fillies, Len names them after Mick's sisters and doesn't comment on the way Mick's cheeks get all wet right after.
Flora ends up having a long-legged colt who Len permits Lisa to name - an offer he promptly regrets when she decides to name him Bob.
Lisa always was an odd duck.
Luckily for Len's sense of the dramatic, Bob's tendency to trip over his own overly-long legs gets him stuck with the nickname Oddfoot (short for "you nimrod don't put your goddamn foot there").
Len spends four days straight prepping for and assisting with the birthing process, a terrible ordeal that he never wants to talk about ever again. The girls refuse to permit anyone in their birthing barn but Len - not Mick, not Lisa, not even Merriweather - so Len does it all by himself.
When it’s done, he's damn proud of having managed it and strung out on massive amounts of coffee, so really, it's not so much that it was a bad time to ask as it was the worst time for someone to break onto their land and ask to buy one of Len's brand-new babies before they'd even left the birthing barn.
Len may or may not have charged at them, head down, like he's a unicorn himself.
Mick tosses the intruder bodily off the property, fires a few shots after the man to make sure he gets the picture and keeps going, then looks at Len curiously. "Thought you were planning on giving some away when they were old enough?"
"No!" Len yells. He seems to be having volume control trouble. Probably all that coffee. "They're mine and they're staying mine!"
And with that he marches back into the birthing barn, now the nursery barn as Merriweather was finally invited in to meet his offspring, and collapses in a pile of unicorn.
By the time he wakes up and regrets everything, he has the distinct feeling that his little herd that follows him everywhere has irrevocably grown by three.
Oh, well. Flora, Fauna and Merriweather would never have forgiven him for giving away the kids anyhow.
At least he's pretty sure unicorns don't get pregnant when they have colts to raise.
...pretty sure.
God, he hopes that's right. Why aren't there experts in this?
Oh, right. Because he’s the first one this misfortune has happened to.
Goddamn unicorns.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"You need to parole one of my prisoners early," the warden says flatly. His left eye is twitching.
The DA blinks at him. The judge blinks at him. The head of the parole review board blinks at him.
In fairness, they'd just been having a friendly lunch in the judge's quarters to discuss the process of criminal reform in Central City when the warden of Iron Heights had shown himself in, uninvited.
"One in particular?" the DA asks.
"Yes."
"If he's causing a disturbance, why not put him in solitary or transfer him to another prison?" the head of the review board asks.
"Oh, the problem isn't him," the warden says grimly. "It's the unicorns."
"Unicorns?" the judge exclaims. He'd always had a fondness for unicorns, growing up, and his daughters were positive fanatics. "You have a unicorn hero in your prison?"
"No, sir," the warden says bitterly. "I have Leonard Snart."
"I don't think I'm familiar," the DA says, pretending she wasn't just as excited by the idea of unicorns. Unicorns were a good sign, a lucky sign; it made voters happy. And she was considering a run for office soon...
"He owns a herd of them," the warden explains. "And they miss him."
"I don't understand," says the head of the parole review board, who had no particular interest in unicorns but was very adept at reading the expressions of his two compatriots. "How do you mean?"
"He's been in the cells for two months," the warden says. "It took them a month and a half to track him. Now they sit outside the window of his cell and cry."
"They cry?" the judge asks, horrified at the thought of miserable unicorns.
"Cry," the warden confirms. "Big old wet tears. And there's wailing, too; long, sad mournful wails. There's a stallion and two mares and three itty bitty unicorn babies -"
"Unicorn babies," the DA breathes. She can see the campaign ads even now - both the positive ones and the attack ads. 'She Who Makes Baby Unicorns Cry' does not get elected. "Crying."
"Oh, yes. All of them. They're keeping everyone awake. The only time they're happy is when Snart goes out for yard time, and then oh boy are they happy - prancing around, showing off, leaping, the whole shebang - only to fall into the pits of depression when he goes back inside. I don't know how the man lives when he's on the outside - in a tent or something?!"
"It sounds - distressing," the head of the parole review board comments. He's already mentally drafting the papers he'll need to file on an expedited basis. He knows how to read the tea leaves. "I assume the issue would not be helped by transferring him?"
"That'll just move the problem," the warden says. "He says they don't like seeing him caged up."
"What was his crime?" the DA asks. As long as she couldn't be accused of releasing a murderer into the streets - actually, it depends on who he murdered -
"Robbery."
"Anyone hurt?"
"Insurance companies, mostly."
Three expressions of incredulity. The warden shrugs. "He's actually a pretty decent thief. Still a thief."
"A thief with unicorns," the judge says. "I don't suppose..."
"We should meet with him to determine his fitness to be released early," the head of the parole review board says, giving in to the inevitable. "Would the two of you like to come?"
"Oh, yes," they both chorus.
"And I'd like to bring some people with me," the judge adds, thinking of his daughters.
"Definitely," the DA agrees, thinking of a photographer.
"Thank god," the warden replies effusively, thinking primarily of getting a good night's sleep uninterrupted by complaints from the prison about inmates rioting if the goddamn unicorns don't shut up already.
That being said, not being an idiot, he can already foresee many, many shortened prison sentences for one unrepentant Leonard Snart.
But at this point, he doesn't even care.
Crying unicorns are very loud.
Who knew?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Len is actually about twenty five when the unicorns - which, being a species that bonds to human in a flagrantly ridiculous fashion, are ridiculously long-lived but also spend a lot of time on raising their colts - start in on him, but he doesn't actually realize it until he's nearly thirty.
It's only that they started so subtly, you see.
It'd started with the way their ears perked up when he hung around women that weren't his sister. Mostly business associates, really.
They would come by far more readily when one of them was around, permitting the woman in question to pet their hides, nuzzling her gently, occasionally giving love taps with their horns when the woman tried to leave. They even sometimes let her see the colts.
It was a bit odd, actually, given how protective and (dare Len say it) paranoid they usually were.
Len's not entirely sure he approves and ends up complaining to Mick, who apparently also doesn't approve of how much time certain people have been spending with visiting women and decides to make his feelings known.
Vividly and at length.
Len was very much in favor of Mick's feelings and decides to provide a demonstration of his own on the subject, also at length.
Suffice to say they don't get out of bed for a while.
The unicorns are -
Well, the unicorns are fucking delighted. Len almost thinks they're more happy about Len getting laid on a regular basis than he is, and he's pretty damn happy about it. His dad in prison, Lisa in school, Mick in his bed, unicorns in the yard - really, things are going well.
The unicorns finally consent to carry Mick, too, a signal honor thus far reserved for Len himself and (if Len begged) for Lisa.
There were more unicorns, too, ever since baby Mandy made friends with a wildling unicorn that escaped from some poachers - Len had tracked them, Mick had fried them, and the judge had actually shaken his hand for that, which was weird but kind of hilarious. They'd let the wildling - named Solo because Mick hadn't had a chance to name one and because Mick was weird - wander back to his forest, which he had done only to come back to Len and Mick and the other unicorns with his mom (Padme), aunt (Leia), and uncle (shy little Luke) to boot.
Merriweather had been thrilled, to say the least. Len was, too, since he finally got to name some of them after Star Wars instead of after a Solo cup, which he half suspected Mick had done just to fuck with him.
Len gave Merriweather long talk about not expanding the herd with Padme and Leia.
He ended up giving up when little Vader was born to Padme. At least there was only one addition this time (since Leia didn't give a fuck and liked to hang around with Solo) and he was a rare sable-haired addition, no less.
But the unicorns keep on being all friendly to various people, so it's not that they're lonely. Not just women, now, but their own strange discernment of who deserved to be liked.
Liked - and nudged next to Len.
Mick still gets nudged the most, actually, even after he's been officially accepted.
"I could barely get them off the last two," Len complains to Mick. "Wish I knew how they picked 'em. Or why!"
"...do you really not know?" Mick asks, looking amused.
Len has a sinking suspicion that he's missed something obvious.
Something so obvious Mick is having trouble choking down laughter.
"Fine, I'll bite," Len says, because curiosity has always been a weakness. "What?"
"You thought the last two were hot," Mick says.
"Well, duh," Len says. "Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn."
"You thought they were hot," Mick says again, emphasizing it.
“They’re fucking each other, Mick.”
“You still thought they were hot.”
"Blocks of stone would think they're hot -"
Mick sighs, interrupting Len. Len eyes him.
"Len," Mick says slowly. "You're an honorary unicorn."
"Because I'm part of the herd," Len agrees. They'd established that the unicorns thought of him as one of the head stallions of the herd fairly early on. "So?"
"You're a stallion like Merriweather is. But Merriweather's got something you don't."
"...a horn? Hooves?"
"Girlfriends. Or boyfriends, since they've determined that also floats your boat."
It still takes a second for it to sink in.
"They're trying to get me a mare?!" Len squawks.
"You aren't having little baby proxy-unicorns fast enough, Lenny," Mick says sweetly. "For shame. How could you let down the herd that way?"
Len lets his head fall down. "Is that why they were so happy when we -"
"Yup."
"...you're not sleeping with me for my unicorns, are you?"
Mick swats him.
"Right, right," Len says sheepishly. "But, I mean, I have you, don’t I? Why are they still trying to hook me up, then?"
"Not sure if you've noticed what with Merriweather and all," Mick says dryly. "But unicorns don't really believe in monogamy. More like – harems."
Len groans.
---------------------------------------------------------------
"I can explain," Len says.
He really can't.
"No," the Flash - Barry - says slowly. "You really can't."
Len sighs.
"Is there a reason your unicorns have kidnapped us?"
"I was supposed to come in, warn you about James and Mardon’s plans in a dramatic fashion, then exit stage left," Len complains. "It was all planned."
"Doesn't seem to have worked out for you," Barry says dryly.
"They miss me when I'm in prison," Len defends himself. “It’s been a while.”
"So they kidnap people for you?"
"Only some people - and what's this about kidnapping? You're in your own house!"
"Which I can't leave," Barry points out. "Because I'm surrounded by unicorns."
"Stop complaining, Barry," Iris - who is sitting down, petting a unicorn who’d shoved his needy little face into her lap for nose-stroking - instructs. "Enjoy the unicorns."
"Mick will be here soon," Len predicts gloomily.
"Will that help?" Barry asks. "I do have work tomorrow."
"No," Len says. "They just like to gather up people for me when I get out of prison."
"And Mick is one of those people."
"Yes."
"Lisa?"
"...no."
Barry looks puzzled. Len is relieved for all of three seconds before Iris says, "I heard unicorns that go out from the herd and then come back are especially randy. That apply to unicorn heroes?"
"A, I'm not a hero," Len says automatically. "And B..."
"B?"
"...uh."
"Told you he thought you were hot too," Iris tells Barry.
"Iris!" Barry splutters.
"Actually, both of you are plenty -" Len pauses. "Too?"
"I'm dating Iris!" Barry squeaks. “Monogamously! Just putting that out there!”
"You know, I don't think we've discussed that," Iris muses.
At that fascinating moment, Mick opens the door, saying "I'm going, I'm going" as he's shoved in by an enthusiastic Flora.
"Did I miss anything?" he asks when he sees Len standing there.
"Interesting revelations," Len tells him, still studying Barry.
"Snacks?"
"Kitchen," Iris says. "Want some hot cocoa? Snart's already helped himself."
"They don't have mini marshmallows," Len says.
"Because our cocoa is so good we don't need it," Iris says, extracting herself from her unicorn (Oddfoot did so like his scritches) and sashays over to Mick, sliding an arm into his and leading him to the kitchen.
"What is happening right now?" Barry asks desperately.
"The start of a bad romance novel," Len says. "Wait. Doesn't Miss West write that Flash blog?"
"Well, she did. Why?"
"It had a fiction section..."
"It what?! Iris!"
----------------------------------------------------------
"It's not going to work," Mick had predicted.
Mick was right.
"You were right," Len concedes to him. Lisa, although long-recognized as a part of the herd, had not been accepted an adequate substitute for Len.
"I wasn't expecting this, to be fair," Mick says. He's staring a little. "Were you? Did you know about this and not tell me?"
Len shrugs. "Not...exactly?" he hedges.
Mick glares at him.
"Listen, I knew they could get somewhere faster than their gallop speed and much farther, too. I didn't know unicorns can literally follow me through time."
Mick's still glaring, but it fades away into amusement when Jax and Kendra dash past their doorway chasing after the giddily prancing Oddfoot, with Rip Hunter close behind them shouting "How did the unicorn even get on the Waverider?! If one of you brought it on deliberately, so help me -"
"He's not going to like it when the rest of the herd shows up," Len observes.
"Nope. He is definitely not," Mick says with satisfaction. Rip had been rather rude to him.
“We should probably do something,” Len says reluctantly.
“Yeah, I guess.”
Just at that moment, Ray pokes his head into their room. "Hey," he says. "I don't suppose either of you know about how we got the unicorn..?"
"What unicorn, Haircut?" Mick grunts. He’s examining his gun.
"That related to the next mission?" Len inquires, squinting at Ray. "Unicorn tapestry, maybe? Unicorn hero? We care about unicorns now?"
"Uh, no. Never mind. Just, if you see - you know what, never mind."
Ray leaves.
Mick and Len look at each other and start laughing.
They’ll deal with the unicorn problem…
…at some point.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"You can't be here, you little idiot," Kronos hisses, shooing Vader out of his room.
Vader tries his best big sad eyes on him, but Mick is immune.
Kronos is immune, he means.
Mick Rory is dead. Or at least he’d better be, or else Kronos is going back in that godforsaken chair, and he’d really rather not.
Vader makes a little whimper that sounds like he’s actually in pain and Kronos forgets himself to actually check for a second, because Len would be upset if any of his herd were actually injured, but no.
Vader’s just being a manipulative little attention-hungry brat again.
Goddamn unicorns.
Kronos tries to shove Vader's plump pony ass out of his room.
Vader resists.
Kronos shoves harder.
Vader's foot slips and suddenly they're both tumbling out of Kronos' room and onto the Pilgrim, who'd been walking by.
"What the fuck," she says. Her voice is monotone and expressionless as always, the result of too many wipes over too many endless years.
"Uh," Kronos says.
"Is that a unicorn?" she asks. That's an actual inflection at the end of a question - serious emotion for her.
Kronos wonders if he can deny it.
Vader tosses his mane.
The room temporarily glows with the rainbow iridescence of his mane.
No, no hope.
"Yes," he says. "It is."
"A dark-colored unicorn?"
"His name is Vader," Kronos confesses.
"I have never seen a dark-toned unicorn before," she says.
Vader studies the Pilgrim for a moment, then pointedly throws himself at her, nuzzling and snuffling like a pro. If there were professionals in the art of attention whoring, anyway.
The Pilgrim holds out a hand, which makes Kronos flinch; that’s how she activates her time micromanipulation device when she’s about to attack.
Vader, the little idiot, just shoves his soft snout into her hand instead.
"...he is very attractive," the Pilgrim allows after a few seconds.
Wait.
Was that calling the little monster 'cute' in Pilgrim-speech?
Vader looks her straight in the eyes with his best soulful expression.
"...you are very attractive," she says to him directly. There is a distinct hint of an upward curl to her lips. "Yes, you. You are. Very attractive. Very strong, too, no doubt."
What the fuck.
Goddamn unicorns. Apparently you really do have to build up a resistance.
Though now that Kronos thinks about it, this could be useful.
"I don't suppose I'll be allowed to go out on my final mission soon," Kronos says in his best casual tone. "More training. I'll have to spend my time here, instead of leaving him behind." He pauses. "Probably for the best. I have no idea who I could leave him with."
The Pilgrim stills.
It is not a subtle trap.
Kronos does not intend for it to be subtle. It would not matter if it was; it is a trap that will work or not, no matter if it is recognized.
"I could watch him," the Pilgrim says at last, taking the bait.
"No need," Kronos says. "I have nothing more than more training -"
"I will speak to the Time Masters," she says. "You will go out at 0600 tomorrow on the Revenge. Ensure the unicorn is prepared for transfer to my quarters for the duration." She hesitates for a moment. "You should include grooming implements."
Then she stalks off.
"Thanks," Kronos tells Vader. "Who knows how long I could've been stuck in their endless training, without you."
Kronos is not prepared to go after the Legends, he knows that. He is too emotional. He has not undergone enough wipes.
Kronos does not like the wipes, so, you know. Fuck that.
"You'll let her groom you a bit, right?" he checks. He’ll need to convince the equipment machines to produce a variety brushes, hoof picks, maybe some ribbons for the mane…
Vader nods happily. He likes grooming, the little cuddle-slut.
Goddamn unicorns.
Kronos goes on mission, chasing the Waverider.
He finds Len.
He takes Len.
He gets about two sentences into his spiel of threats against Len before the herd group-tackles him.
It is very hard to be threatening when you're surrounded by cooing unicorns.
Goddamn unicorns.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Okay, that's weird," Ray says.
Mick grunts, taking another sip of beer. He doesn't much care what's weird. He hasn't really cared - well, to be honest, not since Len died.
But especially not since he was brought back, and Mick had to put him on the road to dying again.
He drains the rest of the bottle just to stop thinking that.
"Hey, Mick? Can you come consult?"
Mick sighs, but goes.
"What is it this time, Haircut -" Mick stops abruptly.
No.
What -
Why?
"So the unicorns are back," Sara says, pretending to be captain-like and all like he can't see her holding out secretly palmed sugar cubes.
"What are you doing here?" Mick asks them.
"Unicorns don't talk," Stein reminds him.
"No," Mick says. "This - this is wrong. Merriweather is here."
"Merry-who? Which one is he – she? – again?"
Mick ignores the Legends, swallowing hard, staring at the stallion still playing proud papa and surrounded by his now-quite-sizeable herd. The last time Mick saw Merriweather, Len had just knocked Mick out at the Oculus and send Mick's unconscious body with Sara back on Flora.
Merriweather had stayed with Len to the bitter end.
Len’s first unicorn and, all protestations aside, not-so-secretly his favorite.
Looks like Len ended up being a unicorn hero after all.
Actually, come to think of it, the Len that had been recruited by the Legion had been remarkably free of unicorns. That was rather unlike him.
Really, Mick should've figured out that something was wrong with him as soon as he'd seen that. He had, actually, but he'd been so sunk in grief that he hadn't cared, desperate for any chance of Len.
But why is - how is - Merriweather here now?
Mick had taken the herd back to 2016 and left them with Lisa. But they're here, now - not all of them, since fat old Blobbo, an elderly unicorn that was a little lame in one leg that had joined up with them in the last few years, had always preferred to sit at STAR Labs whenever something was happening, and STAR Labs liked to have him there, placidly chewing on something or another. They said it was good luck. But by and large most of the herd was now on the Waverider.
Why?
How?
Merriweather sees Mick and whinnies happily, going over and nosing at him. At first it's friendly and Mick takes it that way, but after a few minutes it starts to feel - deliberate.
Some of the other unicorns - Mandy and Ellie, Mick's own not-so-secret favorites - come over to nose at him as well.
Mick would assume it was sympathy, but it's a year late, and also he's felt that purposeful shoving before.
Usually when Len wants him. The unicorns are way too invested in their relationship.
Normally that would be fine; it would be nice. Pleasant, even.
But it's impossible.
"He's dead," Mick says, trying to convince them. Trying to convince himself before he did something stupid and let his hopes get up. His gut is seizing up already, though, and he can feel the start of a glow in his chest, so it’s already too late to prevent the start of hope. "He's dead."
Mandy lips gently at Mick's shirt tugging him to follow her. He does.
She leads him out the door - the other Legends see him go but don't comment, far too busy cooing over unicorns where they are - and then down the hallway to another door.
Their bedroom door, where Mick hasn't been. Not since -
Well.
It's been a while.
Mick swallows. Mandy whinnies and snuffles and keeps on yanking Mick's clothing.
Mick opens the door and goes through.
There's a moment of nausea - disorientation - god, he hasn't had a time jump this bad since he took that wild training spin as Kronos -
"Mickey!"
That sounds like Lisa.
He opens his eyes, which he hadn't realized he'd shut.
It is Lisa.
And with Lisa, there is a very bashful looking Leonard Snart.
"Len?" Mick croaks.
"I'm so sorry it took so long to get back," Len says quickly. "I got lost after the Oculus. The unicorns had to drag me back to the proper timeline, and sometimes it was hard to figure out if something had gone wrong or if there had been something that there hadn't been -"
"Oculus," Mick breathes. "You remember the Oculus?"
"In vivid, searing detail," Len says, wincing at his own bad humor for once.
Mick doesn't remember moving, just suddenly being across the room with Len in his arms.
"Don't you do that to me ever again," he growls.
"Don't worry," Len laughs. His own voice isn't the steadiest, which is practically a sign from above about how strong his feelings are. "The unicorns won't let me."
"Good."
-------------------------------------------------------
"- and the unicorns are an endangered species, Oliver," Barry concludes. His fists are at his hips and his chin is self-righteously high. "You can't just go around kidnapping people they’re bonded to!"
"Yes," Oliver says dryly. "I can. Maybe not this man, not yet -"
"Not ever! He's my villain!"
"In my city!"
"He's sorry about that!"
"I'm really not," Snart interjects.
"Shush, you're not helping," Barry says.
Oliver raises his eyebrows. "Do you have a vested interest in this man's unicorns, Barry?"
Barry flushes. "He does let us take care of Blobbo."
"...Blobbo?" Oliver says, mildly scandalized. A unicorn hero is one thing. A unicorn hero that is also a villain is…well, admittedly strange, but definitely not the strangest thing Oliver's ever seen. He's the last person on earth to protest about a hero sometimes needing skills learned on the wrong side of the law.
But a unicorn named Blobbo?!
Barry shrugs.
"Well," Oliver says, shaking his head to clear it. He needs to set firm boundaries, clearly. "What I think is clear that we need to do now is -"
"Oliveeeeeeeer!" Felicity sings as she runs in, closely followed by the rest of the very clearly excited Team Arrow. "There are unicorns upstairs! And they're so cute!"
"They're getting faster," Heatwave observes.
"They have babies!"
"And more cunning in their manipulation of people," Snart adds with a sigh.
"We are totally keeping one!"
"What?" Oliver says, in the tone of someone who has the feeling they have distinctly lost control of the situation. "Wait. No."
"We really are. Barry, who do we have to talk to?"
Barry points at Snart.
Team Arrow surrounds Snart, talking a mile a minute, apologizing about Oliver's behavior - apologizing! for his perfectly reasonable behavior - and inquiring about unicorn rides.
Oliver buries his head in his hands.
Barry pats him on the shoulder. "Sorry, man," he says, not without real sympathy. "You're doomed."
Unicorns, Oliver thinks sadly. Why did it have to be unicorns?
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angelfireeast · 7 years
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There is a certain section of fandom celebrating the reveal of Savitar as a version of Barry Allen because it feeds some ideas they have about ship they love (snowbarry) and ship they hate (westallen). There certain number of people using this moment to "prove" Barry doesn’t truly love Iris and that he cares about Caitlin more (I guess in the long run). I just keep thinking how it comes down to the worst case scenario and both characters worst nightmare and people are harp on this as if it’s some golden ticket ship thing. The standards for ship couldn’t be any lower. There is certain group of people out there who care so much about their two white faves standing next to each other more than they care about anything else. They are just so happy they are yelling “See this proves Barry doesn’t truly love Iris as much as the show claims he does! He clearly picks Caitlin over Iris! Savitar spends like 4 years raising hell with Killer Frost after he murders Iris! Westallen & Iris aren’t relevant because future Barry kills Iris and shacks up with Killer Frost!’ Obviously these shippers care more about their white faves standing next to each other then care about the characters of Barry and Caitlin themselves. Killer Frost is Caitlin’s worse nightmare. This is beyond OUR Barry’s worst nightmare and OUR Barry doesn’t ever want to kill Iris. He loves her more than life itself and this whole season has been about showing again and again how much OUR Barry loves Iris. For any Barry to kill Iris he destroys himself, the love of his life, his world, his family, and well his everything. These people are happy with twisted distructive Barry because it gets him to stand beside their favorite white girl and finally pushes down that black woman who they hate so damn much for being the leading lady over a woman woman.
There is terribly sad, twisted, sick version of Barry Allen doing unspeakably horrible things. Savitar!Barry is knows what our Barry thinks and feels but he’s nothing like him and he’s not our Barry. To murder Iris, destroy Wally, destroy his family,  kill countless others and just be outright evil that’s not the real Barry Allen. That’s some twist lost insane worst case scenario Barry Allen not our Barry Allen. That’s broken, lost, insane Barry Allen. And Caitlin Snow? She died! Her heart stopped beating. She had to be killed to get to this point. Killer Frost is her worst nightmare and this EXACTLY what Caitlin feared becoming. She told everyone she rather DIE than become Killer Frost. Julian’s selfish ass took her right live as she wanted away from her turning her into Killer Frost instead of honoring her wishes. Killer Frost keeps saying ‘Caitlin Snow is dead’. She’s doesn’t want to be Caitlin and she doesn’t want Caitlin to come back. If the team makes a cure for the meta powers, which apparently make her evil, and Caitlin Snow does come back do you think she going to just jump on Savtar!Barry’s dick? Or would she be completed horrified at everything she’s done as Killer Frost and return to her friends? She’ll be running Savitar!Barry as fast as she can the minute she has choice to be Caitlin & be with her friends or be Killer Frost and be Savitar!Barry. Killer Frost is still Caitlin Snow but it’s the worst part of her and generally it’s not who she wants to be. Whatever faults I find in Caitlin’s behavior as not always a great person, the fact remains to get her ass to side with Savitar!Barry she had to forced into being her worst self she didn’t want to be. But hey! if the only the worst parts of character remain (Killer Frost) and parts of character makes her ‘Caitlin Snow’ are for all intents and purposes is dead it’s shippers delight as long as she MIGHT have shot with evil insane Barry right? Fridging women totally helps ships to happen too. *rolleyes* 
So I hope all those shippers keep celebrating the worst versions of Barry Allen and Caitlin Snow standing beside each other like it actually means something. Like hold that shit dear because it’s best you are going to get. Its both character’s worst nightmare come true. Keep trying to spin this to some sort of plus for snowbarry. Celebrate the most broken, damaged, demented, evil, heartless, and horrible versions of Barry and Caitlin working together to murder and hurt the people they loved most and who loves them as A+++ ship magic. It isn’t any more ugly then all the celebrating Iris being murdered. People already revealed their racist asses so why not just finish it and reveal how much they don’t actually care about characters themselves they are shipping. You know because pumping Hannibal Bates\Caitlin kiss & Caitlin trying to kill Barry is killer signature freeze kiss as romantic doesn’t already show that. This Savitar!Barry/Killer Frost not like it’s ‘lolz AU evil ship fun’. No, it’s people going ‘Barry kills Iris so he doesn’t really love Iris which means Snowbarry!!!!’ They can go ahead and celebrate it because all it does is reveal what kind of people they really are.
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gorogues · 8 years
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“The Wrath of Savitar” and “Land of the Lost”
Spoilers for Flash and Legends of Tomorrow!
Very good episode, and I really enjoyed how fast-paced it was.
So Wally's training with the other speedsters and doing very well, but is still seeing visions of Savitar which freak him out (it's been a week and he still hasn't told anyone).  HR is taking credit for Wally's speed, though most pay him little mind.  Julian returns from his trip and has an awkward but friendly reunion with Caitlin, and Barry and Iris tell the others about their engagement...Joe's happy for them but a bit miffed that Barry didn't ask his permission first.  Iris has a beautiful ring.
Anyway, Wally and Barry go to fight a fire, but Wally has visions of Savitar again and then seemingly gets beaten up by him.  Barry doesn't seen anyone there, so it looks like Wally's just getting kicked around by nothing, but Wally reluctantly tells him about seeing Savitar.  Team Flash then uses poor Julian as the telephone to speak to Savitar again, and Sav is his usual delightful self.  He yells at Barry again, telling him that he's cruel and selfish, and says that Barry took everything from him and that he's the way he is because of Barry.  He says that he never asked for any of this, and that he created himself.  Savitar calls out HR again for being fake, addressing him with "Still here, pretender?  Still trying to find your place?" and indicates that he will survive. (And once again HR is disturbed by what Savitar says to him, though nobody else seems to pay it any mind).  
Savitar claims to be trapped somewhere, courtesy of Barry, and that his imprisonment drove him insane several times.  He also questions whether they really got rid of the Philosopher's Stone, which naturally confuses people, and when they ask who he is he says "I am the future, Flash".  But I noticed that he really minimizes the comma in that line, suggesting he's really saying "I am the future Flash".  Savitar also says that line again near the end of the episode, so it's obviously significant.
Everybody's pretty freaked out by what Savitar said, but they decide to track down one of Savitar's acolytes for questioning.  They find the cult worshipping a statue of their boss, and they have the box that the Stone was in but it's empty.  Julian examines it and thinks it's the same box, so everybody's naturally questioning where the Stone is.  They wonder if Savitar has it somehow.
Wally asks Cisco to vibe the moment when Iris is killed in the future and to show him so he can see for himself what will happen.  He notices that Iris isn't wearing an engagement ring, and storms into the Cortex to confront Barry about it, accusing him of only asking Iris to marry him in order to change the future.  Which Barry more or less admits to, and unsurprisingly Iris is upset.
Julian is upset too, and thinks he's responsible for all these problems and that he's the one who will betray the team as per Savitar's prophecy a few episodes ago.  But Caitlin tells him that she's the person who betrays them, retrieving a small slice of the Stone.  She's had it ever since Barry threw the box into the Speed Force, figuring that she could use it to get rid of her powers.  Naturally Julian's pretty unhappy with her, and walks out on her.
Team Flash later uses Julian to speak to Savitar yet again, though they get very little useful information out of it.  HR refuses to attend this session, because he's obviously leery about what Savitar says to him.
Wally sees and talks to his mom, just as Cisco and Julian saw and spoke to their dead relatives courtesy of Savitar.  His 'mom' tries to convince Wally that he's not fast enough, and then Savitar drops the illusion to talk to Wally directly, claiming he now has a way to escape.  Distressed and getting close to delusional, Wally is determined to stop him and recklessly runs out to do so.
Meanwhile -- unaware of what's going on -- the others are discussing Savitar and believe he's trapped in the Speed Force.  They realize that throwing the Stone into the Speed Force would have given him exactly what he needed to escape, but fortunately he can't get out because he doesn't have the full Stone (thanks to Caitlin hoarding a piece for herself).  If he were to get the full Stone, he'd be able to escape.
Unfortunately that's about the time when Wally tries to stop him.  Savitar's manipulating Wally to get him to throw the piece of the Stone into the Speed Force, and manages to suck both the piece and Wally himself into the Speed Force.  At that point, he manages to climb out.  He kicks Barry around a bit, and taunts him that Wally's trapped and that Barry gave him the idea to grant speed to Wally so Wally could take his place inside it.  He complains that Barry has everything and deserves none of it, and once again says "I am the future, Flash/I am the future Flash" before stabbing Barry with one of his spikes.  He laments that it can't be a fatal wound because he needs Barry around for the future, and Barry manages to break off the spike.  This hurts Savitar, and he takes off.
The spike is removed and Barry lives, of course, but Wally's still trapped.  Presumably Wally's the one who suffers a fate worse than death.
So, is Savitar a warped version of Wally?  Is he Barry?  I'm leaning towards Wally, because of course now Wally's trapped in the Speed Force just like Savitar was (or claimed to be).  It's not a stretch to imagine that a maddened Wally might blame Barry for his imprisonment and feel angry that he's got everything that Wally himself should have.  Savitar could have created himself (or that version of him) from Wally during an eternity trapped in the Speed Force, or you can look at it as he literally gave his past self powers in order to create himself.  Or it could be a red herring to misdirect us...regardless, things strongly lean in the direction of Savitar being Wally.
Plus this episode strengthens my belief that HR is Kadabra.  In addition to reinforcing the clue that he's not who he says he is, you'll notice that HR is particularly egotistical in this episode, from taking credit for Wally's speed to assuming he'll be Barry's best man.  I'm reminded of the panel in which a disguised Kadabra speaks to Barry and can't resist talking about how great Kadabra is.  But we'll see.
So, an enjoyable episode and lots of new details about the main plot.  I wish more Flash episodes were like this.
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Legends was a decent episode too, although there was very little Mick.  He does tell the others about a technique the Time Masters used on him as Chronos in which people can infiltrate another person's mind, and that it could potentially undo the Legion's control of him.  He gets to take charge because he's the only one who's seen it done, and is clearly enjoying treating the others -- particularly Martin -- as subordinates.  He orders Martin to get him a beer...and then decides on a six-pack instead, because of course delicate procedures work better when somebody's buzzed.
So Sara and Jax go into Rip's mind, and battle hostile constructs and try to get through to Rip himself.  The only construct (or is it?) who isn't hostile is Gideon, who exists there in humanoid form and tries to help the others reach Rip.  Long story short, they do get through to Rip, who destroys the evil constructs himself and has a moment with Gideon.  They even kiss.  And when Rip returns to the real world he's back to his old self, if a bit sorry for what he's put everyone through.  But Gideon remembers their kiss, which strongly suggests that she was actually in Rip's mind as an independent entity.  Is she in everyone's minds?  Remember that she hinted at repairing Mick's mind.
Mick tells Rip that he liked him better when he was killing people, to which Rip notes that not everything has changed in his absence; he's obviously not privy to Mick's character development over the past season, or perhaps he simply doesn't care.
And earlier in the episode Mick had chided Martin for treating Jax like a kid instead of a partner, like he had with Len.  He noted that he and Len got along so well because they trusted each other and watched each other's backs.  So at the end, Martin makes an effort to treat Jax more like an equal than like a child, which once again goes to show Mick's wisdom.
In the episode stinger we see Eobard as a NASA scientist in 1970, speaking to an astronaut about a mission.  He makes a cryptic comment about the mission not happening or the astronaut not going on it, which obviously hints about a future plot point, and the next episode will indeed be about a moon mission.  It'll be interesting to see if Eobard had been infiltrating NASA for a long time, or if he's just impersonated a scientist briefly when necessary.
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