#but the heartfelt messages

[hiraya-rawr]

IM FEELING VERY OVERWHELMED BY HAPPINESS WITH EVERYONES MESSAGES and im just so happy?? who told u guys to make me cry this early in the year 😭💞

[runningwithscizzorz]

Not an actual ask but I just wanted to say, your art and art style and just everything you do is absolutely amazing and great and gorgeous and I admire your work so so much. I started following for the lmk content but when you started posting about cotl it brought me back in a game I adore but completely forgot about it, and I just needed to thank you for it I missed those silly characters without even realizing it

keep up the good work and thanks a lot for all those amazing things you do

This is so SWEET??😭 I'm so glad I brought you back to something you enjoy! I really hope you like the upcoming comic pages I'm working on, I love you guys!!✨

[hitwiththetmnt]

OMIGOSH BROSKI

I cant tell you how much I just absolutely adore your dragons. Like it takes every fiber in my being not to just pic each of them up, squeeze them like a plushie and drown their faces in kisses, like so so so cute. Crash and Bash especially. They remind of big dogs who don't know they're big which are my WEAKNESS like please babies let me love you! The cute aggression is real because I'm over here at work with an accidentally snapped pencil in my hand As A ReSuLt Of YoUr hAnD iN tHeIr aDoRaBlEnEsS!

Seriously though, the way you draw is just so positively delightful, I smile every time I see it. I very much want to be able to be as expressive in my art one day as you are.

Until then I'll just be a VERY appreciative fan and remind you that you are incredible, loveable and a light in this ever darkening world. In fact!

*wraps my arms around you and squishes you in an impressively tight hug*

You deserve some loving too hon. You’s a good one ✨🤌🏼🧡

AHAJFHEUFHEGRUDHRHU…IVE BEEN OBLITERATED-IM DEAD-PASSED AWAY_:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

Glad to know my lil guys bring as much joy to others as they do to me. Always draw what you love and express it with your heart- practice and passion go hand in hand with art

TAKE BIG DRAGON AND SQUISHY ME AS A THANK YOUヽ(￣∇￣)ノ= ♡ = ♡ =♡

[mare-bare]

shoutout to this birthday card i made my sister who's actual nickname is charlie @fallen--lilith 👍

[crystallizedtwilight]

I absolutely adore your Newsies OC, Crystal.. Is it okay if I draw her?

Yes!! omg people are always welcome to draw Crystal 🥹 whenever I get OC fan art I squeal and kick my feet!!

References (my art)

Fan art (art gifted to me by others)

[wishchip106]

AHH WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE COME FROM???

HOLY SHIT 100???

THANK YOU FOR FOLLOWING ME FOR MY NONSENSE THOUGHTS ABOUT CHERIK HUH????

[forcebook]

Force to Book: I wish you to be very happy, Book. Thank you to whatever it was that let us meet each other. You have grown up, you should think a lot when doing something, be very mindful. Think thoroughly so that you can become a good-tempered and cute person. Keep caring about everyone like this.

Don't let anything make you change. Focus on what should be done. You can cry in some matters, if you feel tired, take some rest. If you fall, get up like a rocking doll. No matter how many times you fall, stand up.

On days when you are tired, know that tomorrow will always be more tired. And this is the flavor of success.

[girlbloggerdotcom]

gilles 😭 whyyy would you post this

[dreamings-free]

.

[forsty]

normalize cheesy and corny movies being actually good films. a movie being corny doesn't make it bad. don't listen to the "professional critics" they hold no love in their heart for fun whimsical things and explode if they watch a corny movie and find themselves enjoying it

[mint-swirl]

deltarune newsletter just dropped and i’m fucking insane about this message put at the end (context being it’s undertale’s 9th anniversary)

[nyaskitten]

HEY GUYS !!!! I come to you bearing a gift !!! I come bearing my heart and soul, Nya !!!

I would really, truly appreciate any reblogs and/or kind words.

I did a LOT to make this look good, and Magma was NOT on my side drawing this, so I would really love to hear your guys' thoughts, or just have u guys spread her around :D

(bonus sillie under the cut!!)

shes cheering for her girlfrien !!!!!!

[okayclaryfray]

Will citing quotes to Gabriel:

...or is it just a quote

[keezybees]

Hi! I follow you across social media and I really love your art and am super looking forward to reading Hello Sunshine! I wanted to reach out because I'm also Bipolar and I really appreciate the work you do to spread awareness about it but there's something that I find kind of harmful in how you talk about it, and it's just the insistance that it absolutely can't be treated through non-medical means. I fully understand that meds are life-saving and that depending on the severity of symptoms, length, and frequency of episodes, going without medication can be lethal. However, as someone with Bipolar I but controlled symptoms (and frankly symptoms that seem a lot less disruptive than yours, I'm sorry), hearing that there's no path forward without medication would easily have triggered suicidal thoughts when I was younger. There are a lot of reasons why people can't be medicated (for me it was a combination of family control and financial struggle), but hearing at your lowest that there's no way forward without something that you can't have is really damaging. I think it's totally possible to stress the importance of medical access and the need to work with your medical provider without erasing the ways that non-medical treatments can also be life-saving, depending on a person's situation/symptoms/etc and that some people can live full lives even if their symptoms aren't fully controlled. Anyway, I love your work and I just wanted to raise this alternate perspective because I think you're helping a lot of people, but I also think a lot of people can be harmed by this rhetoric, especially marginalized people who can't seek medication for any number of factors beyond their control.

Hi Anon! I totally hear what you're saying, and so I just wanted to run through a few things to clarify my stance, both for you and for others who might be reading this (omg I am SO sorry this is so long though haha):

I do emphasize treatment a lot, because I think it's really important for people to work with professionals to find ways to manage their illness. This is partly due to my own experience (I avoided treatment for a looong time) and anecdotally, but also because the research we have is pretty clear--untreated bipolar has much, much worse outcomes for a vast majority of people. However! When I say treatment, I don't necessarily mean medication, and certainly not only medication! I absolutely think some people (though it is sadly rare) can find ways of managing their illness medication-free. I just feel that it's best to do this work with the help of professionals + peers (whether that's a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, social worker, support group, etc) who can help you find your way, and help you manage symptoms that do crop up (this is especially true if you're currently on medication and choosing to go off of it, since that can come with physical risks). I could definitely stand to make this distinction a lot clearer though, and I'll try to be more mindful of it in the future.

I also can definitely see how my words could imply that I think non-medication ways of treating bipolar aren't valuable, and I'll work on my phrasing going forward, because they absolutely are! My aim is not to dismiss stuff like self-help or lifestyle changes or meditation or exercise, because I think they're great--for example, that kind of stuff has helped a ton with my anxiety and overall quality of life, and I know for a lot of people they help with their bipolar symptoms. But for me, these things simply don't have much of an impact on the bipolar, and our culture's emphasis on them frustrates me because it prevented me from getting proper care for a very long time, and made me feel like a failure for not being able to control my symptoms despite working so hard. So I'll also try to be more clear in the future about whether I'm venting about my own situation vs speaking broadly.

I also definitely hope I've never said anything that implies that our symptoms are inevitably life-ruining! My symptoms aren't completely controlled (particularly my lows), either, and I like to think I live a pretty good life. I think for many people un-treated bipolar can be life-ruining, and I've just heard too many stories about people who thought they could manage on their own only to have an absolutely devastating manic episode to not warn people of the risk. But most of us will continue to experience some degree of symptoms throughout our lives, absolutely.

I totally understand why someone would want to go med-free, or at least try it, and I in no way think the medications we have now are flawless haha. Side effects are awful, life-changing, and can even be life-threatening (I've had some horrible experiences with side effects myself); the meds we have now aren't very effective against depressive episodes for a lot of people (myself included), and for some people they're not effective at all; meds for most people don't completely eradicate symptoms, etc. I'm fully on board with the med struggle, and I honestly spend a lot of time criticizing the options available to us, though less so publicly, since I don't want to further stigmatize the idea of taking psych meds in general!

One of the reasons I emphasize medication (when I do emphasize meds, specifically) is because when I was younger, I was terrified of even the idea of them. I avoided it for years and really, really suffered because of it. I think our culture does in general look down on psych meds, particularly the kind we usually take, so I'm trying to destigmatize the concept of them, and emphasize for people with similar fears that taking meds can be just as life-saving and healing as they are harmful and frustrating, and that it's at least worth trying.

I'm a YA cartoonist (and former teacher, barista at a youth coffeehouse, tutor, I worked for a kids' gaming website...actually all of my jobs apart from dishwashing have involved kids, now that I think of it lmao), so a lot of the time when I'm talking about this stuff on social media, my target audience is sort of...very young people and kids who think they have bipolar (or may have even been diagnosed) but are afraid to seek help and/or don't think they need help and/or don't think help is going to actually help. So my goal is to demystify and normalize the idea of taking meds and/or seeking treatment for those people, and to emphasize that just because they're able to manage their illness now, that might change in the future, and imo they need to be aware of the very real risks, which includes things like an incredibly high suicide rate for unmedicated individuals, and the reality that the illness can be progressive (episodes can get worse and harder to treat the more you have them--they certainly did for me, and I wish I had been more open to the idea much earlier).

On a similar note, it's also important to recognize that a lot of things can look like bipolar, and a lot of people don't really know what bipolar actually looks like to begin with (particularly if you're getting your info from tiktok or similar). So if you've self-diagnosed and never explored treatment options (emphasis on options!) you can easily be missing stuff like thyroid issues, epilepsy, brain tumors, vitamin deficiencies, or a myriad of other treatable mental illnesses that mimic bipolar, and I strongly believe that people deserve care and help for whatever they're struggling with, including the possibility that it isn't bipolar at all!

Finally, I truly hope I've never said anything that comes off like I'm looking down on or judging people who choose to not be medicated for whatever reason! If it works for you then that's phenomenal (I'm jealous tbh) but it's honestly none of my business haha. When I talk about this stuff I do try to stress most people, because we're of course not a monolith, and when I say something like 'a majority of people with bipolar will need some form of medication to flourish' I don't mean to dismiss those who aren't in that majority. It's more that I want people to be open to the idea that they're not failures for needing meds, that they're actually in very good company, as well as to combat the 'just meditate! or try harder!' narrative that's so prevalent in our culture.

Edit: one last thought, which is that part of my target audience is also parents or guardians whose kids might be struggling--kids are obviously the group with the least access to treatment on their own terms. My hope is that talking about my experiences and discussing the risks will help motivate guardians to get help for their kids, and also help motivate kids to seek their own treatment as soon as they're able. Most people develop bipolar in their late teens and early 20s (though my first hypomanic ep was at 16), so it's a relatively small percentage of folks in this situation, but I do see how a kid whose parents aren't willing to help them could take my words badly, so I'll try to keep that in mind!

I'm definitely going to be more careful about how I phrase things going forward, because I can absolutely see how my intent could be lost. Hopefully this clears things up a bit (although it's also possible that we simply disagree, and I think that's okay too--like I said, our community is not a monolith, and a lot of these conversations are fundamentally ongoing)!

tldr; I'll make an effort to watch my words so that it's clear that my target audience really isn't my bipolar peers, and that the target of my criticisms is anti-medication wellness culture + psych med stigma, not the concept of non-medication alternatives or additions in general. And I'll try to do a better job of highlighting when I'm speaking only for myself vs our community as a whole!

[httyd-art-requests]

I would like everyone to know that I read all of your asks still sitting in the askbox every day, when I go to check which dragon is next on the list (I'm picking them entirely off of the asks at this point)

Answering only one of them every day is making this a slow process, but I just want to say that I read all of your lovely messages every single day until I get to finally answer them, and they always make me emotional without fail.

I just want to say thank you to everyone who sends asks or leaves comments or tags or what have you, it's seriously encouraging to see that people are enjoying what I make (enough to take the time to let me know) and that you want me to keep posting.

At this rate, there's no question about whether I'll make it through the year with the daily posting or not >///<

[the-dream-team]

i just wanted to say i'm so so so incredibly grateful for you for writing who knows who cares... i was really struggling with being bi and on the aro/ace spectrum in the past 2 years. especially since some irl people i thought to be my friends were accusing me behind my back of being a lesbian pretending to like men and/or queerbaiting amongst other things. i genuinely think reading your fic changed my life... i'd go as far too say it kinda saved my life too... even when i felt alone and betrayed reading wkwc made me feel seen and like i was able to keep going. the way you wrote lily's character, the way you wrote other characters reacting to her being herself, all the emotions and experiences you showed. everything was perfect for me. this is probably the best representation i've ever felt when seeing someone else's creation. this paragraph in particular is one of my favourite things i've read... like ever:

“This is actually the happiest I’ve been in a long time,” she continued despite James’s look of confusion. “No, really, it’s just… for so long now I’ve felt extremely insecure about myself and my bisexuality. Even before coming out, I was basically obsessed with how people would react to it—how my family would respond, how my friends would see me after they learned… And then after Idid tell people, my worries shifted to how the queer community would see me, if they’d accept me,if I was ticking enough boxes to fit the right definitions. It was exhausting. I basically lost myself trying to be what I thought people wanted me to be. But these last couple of weeks, with the help of my friends, and the community, and even you… I realized how infeasible it was trying to control what other people thought of me. Because, in the end, who cares? The only one who needs to know me... is me.”

^ this paragraph is so incredibly special in ways i can't even describe. i also adore the way you described pandora lovegood's art and the way lily is entranced by it... i love the concept of using mirrors to see yourself as part of beautiful artwork... so much that i wish i could see it in real life:

In front of her, painted in painstaking detail, was the night sky. Or, more accurately, it was the universe. Swirls of violet galaxies overlapped burnt-orange nebulas expanding across the dark blues of the piece. It was nearly identical to one of those pictures NASA released from their extra-fancy telescopes, but as Lily stepped closer to the painting she could pick out the humanity of the brush strokes. Little hand-made squiggles off the ends of a comet, a stroke of paint thicker than the others, a fleck of purple trapped amongst teal.But more importantly, up close, she could see herself. Every dotted star spanning the entire painting was actually a blank space, revealing the mirror on which the piece of art was created on top of. In place of every star, where every glowing sun should have been, Lily saw glimpses of her freckles, of the red in her hair, the greens in her eyes. Her lips mingled with planets, ears flew alongside asteroids, nose made up the moons. She was there, staring into infinity and finding herself staring back. Without warning, a light flipped on somewhere behind her, angled perfectly toward the piece so that every exposed bit of mirror illuminated like glowing embers. The shock of it—the beauty of it all—sent her staggering backward in order to see the full view of its magnificence. With the stars shining, the painting came alive, shimmering and sparkling and bouncing its brilliance around the room. With a gasp, Lily noticed the dots of light reflected onto her dress, her arms, the glare catching in her eye. Like a disco ball, the painting scattered its light. She looked down at herself and saw that she was made of starlight. An amazing laugh escaped her throat, which constricted as she felt a tingling sensation in the corners of her eyes.

the way she feels so much that i could so clearly see and feel everything. i wish i could see the art you imagined... i was wondering are there any specific pieces you thought of when creating these descriptions? i'm in awe of your talent and you really helped me when i was struggling to stick with the things that brought me joy. at the time of reading wkwc (how is it over a year ago now?!) i tried so many times to put into words how much your story means to me... now i've realised that it is impossible to describe how important this has been in the past 2 years of my life. even now i can't help but get emotional even if i reread just one paragraph or even a sentence. thank you so much for sharing your beautiful writing... you truly have a special gift <3 sorry for the rant but i really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate you... thank you!

Wow!! I don't know how to properly respond to such a kind and thoughtful message other than saying thank you thank you thank you a million times over <3 It's such a privilege to have readers like you who can relate to this story and its characters on such a personal level. It means the world to me that wkwc helped you in any way and I so appreciate that you took the time to share this with me :)

I've gotten a lot of questions about Pandora's art in the past, and I wish there was a real life piece I could point to because I'd love to see it! Actually, I'd love to be able to paint it myself, but unfortunately I was not blessed with those skills hahaha

However, I can go into more detail about how I came up with Pandora's art under the cut! (some light spoilers and rambling discussions about themes below)

Okay! So! The main inspiration came from wanting to incorporate mirrors as a motif in the fic, seeing as the story was largely about self-reflection. There's a line where Marlene calls the mirrors heavy-handed—which I agree with to an extent haha—but I wrote the story with a younger audience in mind, so I thought the symbolism should be clear and concise.

Another big theme is representation, so I wanted to really hammer that home by having artwork that Lily could *literally* see herself in. Sometimes that's more direct, like when she sees her and James in the "Car" painting's review mirror or within the faces of the "Happiness" paintings. Sometimes, she just catches glimpses of herself, like in the "Universe" piece.

As for the painting of the universe, this is a little more abstract but I wanted Lily to be able to transcend the whole idea of labels that she'd been really caught up on the entire story. At this point in the fic, she has to let go of her preconceived notions that there's a "correct" way to be bisexual and realize there are infinite ways to be queer and they're all correct! To me, nothing says "infinite" more than the universe hahaha so that's how I brought those three ideas together to come up with the idea for the final painting!

I kinda tried creating the art in this old banner I made for the fic... I blended Lily into this vague universe-esque painting I found on pexels.com and then the words "Who Knows Who Cares" are meant to look like mirrors. I'd like to say I'm better at photoshop now than I was a few years ago lol

Anyway, this is way more than you asked for, but since I've gotten comments and asks about the paintings before, I figured I could include a deeper dive here!

Thank you again for such a lovely message and I hope you continue to find positive representation in all the media and art and life that you experience <3