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whimsiwitchy · 5 months ago

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I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter six: 24

Pedro Pascal x plus size F!reader

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size afab reader, she/her pronouns, use of y/n, swearing, age gap (24/14 years), descriptions of the female body, use of the word fat, descriptions of a bigger body (stretch marks, cellulite, rolls, etc.), descriptions of nudity, sexual themes.

Please let me know if I missed anything! Warnings may change as the story progresses.

chapter summary: y/n tells Pedro the truth.

authors note: Hi everyone! This chapter is a little rough, but it's done lol. Also, what do you guys think about the length of the chapters? Do you want them longer, shorter, the same length? Let me know! I believe they're average 1.5-2k words as of now. Enjoy! :)

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“BITCH, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!”

You had spent the last thirty minutes catching Angie up on the newest details of your escapades with Pedro and all of your doubts that came with it. It has become really common for Angie and yourself to go weeks without seeing each other, only sending each other texts here and there or the two of you discussing work stuff when necessary. When both of your busy schedules finally aligned, the two of you immediately set up a ‘catch up and gossip’ sesh on your living room couch.

“Please stop yelling. I’m one noise complaint away from being evicted because of you.” You sigh only half joking.

“Sorry sorry. I’m just… okay wait let me gather my thoughts for a moment.” She takes a sip of her iced coffee and she's staring just past your head at the wall behind you. Your leg is bouncing at a record breaking pace. You told her everything, not skipping a single detail, and you were hoping whatever came out of Angie’s mouth next was positive. You weren’t exactly sure why you were so nervous to hear what she was going to say. Maybe you wanted some confirmation that what had been happening between you and Pedro wasn’t crazy, that you weren’t in over your head.

Angie had always been better at relationships than you and understandably so. She was naturally beautiful, it baffled you how someone could even be born so blessed. She was about 5’4, with ginger hair that went down just past the middle of her back. She has this perfectly white smile that hid behind her perfectly plump lips with light freckles scattered along her cheeks and shoulders. Her loud and outgoing personality just solidified just how easily likable she was. You used to envy her but she was never competing with you. She was the kindest soul you had ever met and she stood beside you always. You knew whatever she said was probably what was best for you. She was the definition of a girl's girl.

“Okay okay... so you’re telling me that he came to see you on his day off, the two of you messed around in your trailer, he asked you to come over, and the two of you didn’t fuck?” She says as she finally snaps back into reality.

“Angie oh my fucking god… how many times do I have to tell you that we didn’t have sex.” You’re starting to feel hopeless. You had asked her for advice and shes done nothing but annoyingly ask if you and Pedro had fucked since the moment you mentioned that the two of you basically dry humped each other for a good five minutes in your trailer.

“Can you please be serious for five minutes and actually help me? I’m freaking the fuck out. Everytime I’m with him all of the worrying goes away but once I’m alone it hits me like a fucking truck.” You’re begging her at this point to put her dating expertise to use.

“Okay fine, I’m sorry.” She says sincerely and you let out a faint thank you.

“So he said something about wanting to take you out?”

“Yea, um, he mentioned it when he was asking me if I wanted to stay over. It wasn’t anything set in stone but he did mention like dating and stuff so I don't know…” You trail off, really unsure of everything.

“I think you’re overthinking it babe. If he didn’t fuck you, he definitely respects you and wants to have something more with you, ya know?”

“You think so?”

“I know so. He’s a good one y/n, I can feel it in my bones.” You give her a small smile.

“You should totally introduce me to him though so I can really double down on him.” She grabs your hands from your lap and looks you in the eyes.

“It’s all going to be okay, okay? In the end, he's just a man y/n. Besides, we can jump his ass if he plays you.” She squeezes your hands and gives you a tough nod.

“But that’s the thing Ang, he’s not just a man. He’s my older, insanely hot co-star, who still doesn’t even know just how young I am.” You huff and shove your face into your hands.

“Y/n, you haven’t told him?” She’s giving you a look you’re not familiar with.

“No…I tried but work stuff interrupted me and that was before he kissed me”

“Hm… well I think you should for sure tell him sooner rather than later, but don’t worry about it too much, yea? I’m sure he’ll be fine with it.”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

“OH fucking shit, fuck fuck fuck…HOLY SHIT..”

Swears were flying from your mouth left and right as the wax lady ripped more and more wax off of you taking each hair follicle with it. With your intimacy training coming up soon, you had to prepare by being silky smooth on all body parts that have a chance of being on camera- which was basically your entire body for this shoot. You’ve been through this same process many times before but something about this felt different. You knew that this project was bigger than anything you had ever done before but somehow you being naked on camera for millions to see wasn’t your biggest fear right now.

Once your appointment was over and there wasn’t a hair left on your body, you were speed walking home. For some reason you always convince yourself to walk to the wax studio due to the close proximity to your apartment, but you always regretted it once your skin was begging for some sort of soothing distraction from the pain. Even with the loose fit of the skirt you were wearing, commando at that, you could still feel the irritation growing stronger. Your thighs were beginning to rub together in a way in which you knew you'd have to slather vaseline between your legs just to prevent any further chafing.

After your long ass hike (a ten minute walk) through the depths of hell (it was 80 degrees with a breeze), you finally made it home. You walked straight into your bathroom, stripped, and hopped into a cold shower. You scrubbed your body with a vanilla and coconut body wash, being extra careful when you got closer to your fresh brazilian wax, and washed your hair. When you finished showering, you lotioned up, dried your hair, and laid down in your bed to relax.

You planned on bedrotting and watching tik tok for the rest of the day but you couldn’t shake the thought of what Angie had told you earlier today.

Sooner rather than later…

*hey! I was wondering if you’d want to hang out sometime soon? :)

You sent the text and threw your phone across your bed. It’s been a few days since you slept over at his house. After you agreed to stay, he offered the guest room, but with all of your courage -mostly sleepiness, you asked to sleep with him. The next morning you were wrapped in his arms, soft snores in your ear. His hand was holding yours and you laid there memorizing each crinkle of his knuckles, staring at the tattoo that sat between the webbing of his thumb and index finger. You kept trying to imagine how he looked when he was sleeping, wondering if he had a peaceful look to him or if the wrinkles in his face relaxed. Not being able to hold off any longer, you turned over so your mind wouldn’t have to imagine anymore. You were right. He looked like the definition of peace. His hair was a mess, his mouth ajar, eyelashes resting beautifully on the underneath of his eyes. Pedro was the most handsome man you had ever seen, you were sure that you could have fallen in love with him right then and there.

Pedro:

*Hey baby. I’m done filming around 9 tonight. I can come pick you up and we can grab some food.

*Sound good?

You:

*sounds good. see you later <3

Another late night with Pedro. You’d unconsciously have been reserving nights just for him. When the sun was up, you worked, saw friends, handled whatever business that needed to be dealt with, but the night was strictly for him. You couldn’t help but wonder if it was purposeful or completely accidental that the two of you seemed to meet when the moon was out. The next few hours leading up to seeing Pedro would be hell, you were certain of it. Knowing that everything that has built over such a short time period could be washed away and you would have to awkwardly deal with him on set, somehow ignoring the strong feelings that you were beginning to hold for him. You were really hoping that Angie was right. That he would somehow be totally cool with the whole 24 year age gap thing, but you knew deep down that just wasn’t likely.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─

It was 9:30 and you were pacing around your living room waiting for any sign of Pedro. You’ve been anxious all evening and now that the time to see him has come, you weren’t ready at all. A soft knock on your door makes you come to a halt. Walking over to the door, you peer through the peephole to see Pedro- who looks so good it makes your jaw drop. You took a few deep breaths before opening the door.

“Hey sweetheart.” He greets, smile beaming. You open the door wider, allowing him to step inside.

“Hi..” Your voice comes out softer than you intended, anxiety seeping through your body. “Uh, let me just grab some shoes and my bag then we can head out.” You walk towards a small coat closet to grab your checkered vans. “You can take a seat if you want, I'll be right back.” He gave you a nod and walked over to the papasan chair that sits in the far corner of your living room. Meanwhile, you were in your room freaking out. Seeing him was a hard slap in the face. You knew you had to tell him tonight before feelings developed and someone got hurt, but who's to say that won’t already happen tonight.

You felt like shit and you definitely looked it. Grabbing a small purse, you spray some perfume on and make your way back to the living room.

“Ready to go?” You ask, putting on a small smile, hoping Pedro couldn’t see through it. He returns the smile and stands up. The two of you make your way to his car, stopping once outside to lock your door.

“So, what’re you hungry for?” Pedro asks while putting his seat belt on, you do the same.

“Whatever is fine with me, I'm not too picky.”

You ended up grabbing some mcdonalds and parking in some random parking lot to eat and talk. He was being so sweet to you, complimenting you every few minutes, a smile never leaving his face. He was truly your dream guy, he was everything you could ever want. You were terrified that you were going to lose it all. You hadn’t been completely yourself all night and Pedro was starting to catch on.

“You okay baby? You seem a little off.” He’s looking at you, eyes filled with concern. You don’t answer him right away. You’re trying to find the best way to go about telling him. You were 24 but you were an adult and you hated that this age gap was such a big deal. You had never been into the idea of dating an older man but then Pedro came around and changed everything. For you, it wasn’t a life changing idea, but for Pedro, it could very well be career ending. If he was seen with you and people found out just how young you were compared to him. This whole relationship, or whatever it is, was doomed from the start. Your leg is bouncing, a regular occurrence around Pedro it seems.

“P…I need to tell you something.” You’re looking down at your hands, unable to look him in his eyes.

“What is it sweet girl? You can tell me anything.” His voice is filled with nothing but sincerity and you can physically feel pain from your heart slowly breaking.

“I’m not actually 35…” You’re still not looking at him, silence fills the air. You’re waiting for him to say something but he never does. You look up and his expression is unreadable.

“Okay…How old are you then?” From the sound of his voice, you can tell that he is confused.

“I’m 24.” You’re looking in his eyes searching for any rapid change of emotion. Your leg is still rapidly bouncing, heart pounding.

“What?”

“I’m 24, well i’ll be 25 soon but yea…”

“Jesus fucking christ y/n…” He’s shaking his head and running his hand over the slight stubble coming in on his chin.

“Are you mad at me?” You ask. You sounded so pathetic right now, but it’s all you could muster up.

“I’m not mad.” He’s staring at you. Relief flows through your body and you start to relax.

“Why did you lie to me?” His voice is raised slightly causing you to wince slightly.

“I didn’t mean to lie to you P, I swear. My um…my agent, Angie, lied about my age to book the audition. It wasn’t something I did intentionally, well it wasn’t something I did at all.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” A look of hurt present on his face.

“I just never thought to bring it up. I mean we were just hanging out then you kissed me and everything changed. I tried to tell you at the skating rink but we had to head to the floor and I swear I've been trying to find a way to tell you but I was so scared to ruin whatever we have going on here. I really like you pedro…”

“I really like you too y/n, but you’re so fucking young. I mean I’m about to be 50, I can’t be screwing around with a 24 year old.”

Your heart drops. You can feel the tears starting to well up before a few fall against your will.

“I’m sorry.” You're looking down again, trying to hide your tears from Pedro.

“I should get you home.” He sighs and starts the car.

The drive back to your apartment was quick but painfully awkward. You faced the window the entire time, letting your tears fall freely. When he pulled into the parking lot, the two of you sat in silence for a few minutes. You were afraid to leave the car, afraid that this might be the last time you get to be with him outside of work.

“What does this mean for us?” You whisper, turning to look at him. He has his right hand still sitting on the steering wheel, while his left hand is sitting on his thigh, fingers tapping.

“I don’t know y/n.” He’s still not looking at you, face staring out the front windshield.

y/n. No baby, no sweetheart or sweet girl, just your name.

“Okay. Well um… thanks for dinner. I’ll see you on set.” Your voice betrays you, cracking on your last words towards him. He gives you a slight nod. You get out of the car and make your way to your apartment. Once inside, you kicked off your shoes and walked slowly to your room. Collapsing onto the bed, you let out a sob, all of the emotions you had been holding in finally being let free. You felt heart broken. For once you had the perfect man who saw past your weight, thought you were beautiful, and enjoyed your time. But it didn’t matter now. It was all ruined because of some stupid lie to get an audition for some stupid movie that has a stupid fucking title. You were starting to feel more angry than sad. Angry that you had even got the part in the first place, angry that Pedro asked you to hang out with him, angry that he had kissed you. If the two of you could have been professional and just be costars, your heart wouldn’t be breaking into a million pieces. Life was so fucking unfair.

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series tag list: @nuetralcolorsenthusiast, @kungfucapslock, @hansilandgretel, @ashleyfilm, @titabel, @fifitheragertot

*If you wish to be added to the tag list, leave a comment on this post letting me know! <3

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal x plus size reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x you #pedro x female reader #pedro x reader #pedro pascal smut #pedro x plus size reader #pedro x y/n #pedro x you #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal fluff

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11queensupreme11 · 5 months ago

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Um hi I wanted to ask a question about Percy. But it’s quite dark.

Like in the beginning of the story you said Percy would be a oblivious idiot to the Yanderes but as much as I like the story it’s is noticeably becoming darker if you don’t pay attention to the story.

Like Percy knows the intentions of hades and Poseidon. But Percy doesn’t know beelzebub killed Mimir and destroyed the well knowing with her luck she would probably find it sabotaging her chances to be able to go back home. And other gods like Peresphone used her to get away from hades. Aphrodite see her story as entertainment. Hell Rhea is happy that her sons and grandson is in “love” with her.

And in all honestly she doesn’t even really have help. No one can truly protect her. Even Percy knows this as stated it in one of the chapters. And in one of the post in tumblr insinuates that Percy will go through a lot including unfortunately sexual assault.

So I was wondering would Percy get some major character development as the story progresses.

Like not to the point she is a master of manipulation to make them kill each other or becoming stronger than the gods that she if fully capable to fight them off.

Like her mental state, her philosophy would change, her heart would harden. She would no longer be the kind hearted naive girl she is. She would not give her trust, her loyalty so easily.

That is my question how would all of this change Percy.

I really hope you can answer this because I am really curious of what would happen. Thank for your time.

percy will be a bit more manipulative and cunning in act 3, cuz act 3 is when the romance amps UP and the yanderes become even more irredeemable 😜 (will this actually save her? who knows 😆)

act 1 is just about establishing the romance, which is why the yanderes aren't that bad rn. act 2 is about ragnarok (and bits of the gods tournament) and prepping for ragnarok, so the romance won't be the sole focus

act 3????? ohh yessssss not all the finer details are planned out yet, but i'm planning to make them worse. i see ppl commenting stuff like "oh i love xxx because they're the only good one so far" and it makes me giggle maniacally cuz there were never any "good ones" to begin with and i'm gonna make it KNOWN

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

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alice2447sstuff · 7 months ago

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It's a little too early to talk a little about the lore of my jsab since I haven't finished the story and the characters

Not to mention that it will take time to launch the comic since I'm a beginner artist and I still have to improve my art before posting the chapters.

But I'm still going to talk about how corruption works in my au since the comic won't will explain much about it.

How corruption works:

Corruption can spread to animals, objects, shapes, etc.

But the main thing about corruption is that it changes the person who is infected with it, turning the person's color to pink and sometimes with some black details.

Corruption also changes a person's personality but each person changes in a different way, for example: If you are an extremely calm person, when you got corrupted you will be aggressive and angry.

But it varies depending on the person since some people can be calm and still have this characteristic after corruption, the difference is that the person would be more aggressive and it would be easier to get angry

Corruption can also be used as a means of controlling someone, but only in a specific case that will be shown in the comic.

But the fact is that the corrupted person will be loyal to the person who corrupted him if that person is obeying another person to infect more people the infected person will be loyal to that person

Corrupted people become visibly evil and like destruction and things like that, but in other cases they don't

Corruption is very difficult to resist and requires a lot of mental endurance but it is only possible to resist it for a short time.

Note: Corrupted triangles are one of the strongest forms of corruption

How does the infection spread?

Corruption can spread through bites,Contaminated objects,Scratches,Contaminated water,Corrupted triangles and physical touch from infected people.

Infected can only corrupt through physical touch if they want to if they don't want to and just want normal physical touch the corruption will not spread

The problem is that infected like to corrupt non-infected and sometimes it's like an instinct sooo

How being corrupted feels like?

The infected person feels tired and has a mental fog as they feel something spreading and when the person is almost completely corrupted they become half fainted and become weak and the fog increases.

The mental fog is so much that it can blur the person's thoughts

What are the stages of corruption?

Stage 1: the infected area turns pink and the person begins to feel dizzy and minutes later stage two begins

Stage 2: The infected has difficulty walking and becomes weak and in a mental fog as the corruption progresses further and further

Stage 3: the person's thoughts are completely clouded by fog and are already very weak and they can't

get up,The person at this point is already almost completely Corrupted

How to cure?

Through whether a pure triangle or through a hero

Thanks for reading! 💕

(Note: this was much much much longer than expected)

#jsab #just shapes and beats #jsab au

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macawritesupdates · 7 months ago

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Updates 6/7/2024

The next Historically Inaccurate chapter.... IS COMPLETED!!!

Tomorrow I'm going to do the edits and then it will HOPEFULLY be posted tomorrow if edits go smoothly. But it is now coming either Friday or Saturday 100%!

Hopefully it lives up to expectations 83

Now for long fic updates! CAREFUL WHAT YOU JOKE ABOUT: This one is getting its big chapter update next in terms of my longfics! Rather important chapter for sure!

BROKEN IN THE WAYS NO ONE SEES: Already got a huge chunk of the chapter done, might finish it tomorrow so will be a double update feature maybe c:

MALEVOLENCE OF LOVE: Next update is well underway and is a longer chapter, but it is on track to get out soon and make all of us sad again 8'3 MIRRORED LIVES: Also has a ton of writing done on it and it should be out sooner rather than later!

LESSONS IN ACCIDENTAL SEDUCTION: Have started writing the next chapter which has beach and fluff c: and Yuuji realizing just how awfully smart his new spouse is... scarily so. YUUJI FILES: Still on the backburner but starting to better outline the next chapter. Sort of an interesting chapter as it wraps about to a lot of little hints dropped in previous chapters and also features the Kyoto crew as prominent characters. REQUEST Going to have a request or two done tomorrow for posting. My focus is on clearing out the prompts I got from April first, although still throwing a few more recent ones in! Going to also do one sequel request from the few I have on my list.

IN PROGRESS

WHEN LAW MET DISORDER: The official title of the detective mystery, ABO, soul mate Sukita AU with Investigator Yuuji finding himself being dragged down into a plot of intrigue while also dealing with the fact he might be the bond mate of the infamous King of curses. It is a sort of prequel to one of the more popular prompts from the requests I've done and people were curious about the "how they met" aspect. This story though is going to lean hard into being a mystery! My Hero Academia Fanfic: It is starting to become more concrete and starting to outline it in more detail. Still poking about at it! Codename is "Invasion"

Dragon Sukita Fic: Trying to figure out the direction it will take as I worldbuild dragon society and hierarchies... I just really like dragons and wanted to do a dragn fanfic since forever :b

Short Nobara centered fic: Want to do another fic with Nobara as the lead as I want to give her more love! Shaking my head to see if any nice ideas tumble out!

#maca updates

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minimalist-language-learning · 1 year ago

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1Q84 — Chapter 1

(I think the book looks very elegant without its cover ^__^)

Recently, I discovered the audio book version of 1Q84 on Audible and instantly bought it. Years ago, I've read this novel in German and loved it. 1Q84 fascinated me like no other novel before. I was captivated by the characters & story and turned page after page.

My original plan was to read another novel next (I thought it would be best to read single volume novels first), but now that I have even the audio book I changed my plan because I didn’t want to wait any longer.

My strategy

I just finished reading and listening the first chapter. I want to read this book more thoroughly, so I’m looking up more words than usual. Plus, after every paragraph I listened to the corresponding part of the audio book while following the words on the page and visualizing the scene in my mind. Now that I reached the end of the chapter, I’ll listen to it again, but now without looking at the text and without stopping after every paragraph.

Some paragraphs of the book are still difficult to understand so the audio book is even more challenging. But I feel that focusing on short sections first improves my understanding. I don't understand everything but I can still follow the story. Considering the difficulty of the book, this is not too bad at this stage. This is only chapter 1 and there are two more volumes. I try my best to improve my understanding over time.

About this chapter

I like how the first chapter introduces the main character. A young woman is sitting in a taxi which is stuck in a heavy traffic jam. The radio plays classical music. Nothing unusual. But from now on, the author gradually reveals more and more interesting details about the main character, the driver, the interior of the taxi, the music and so on. As the chapter progresses, it becomes clear that the main character is no ordinary woman. Many things are rather hints than concrete information. These hints will reveal their importance in later chapters. 1Q84 is a big puzzle. With every chapter, more and more pieces are falling into place. That’s what captivated me.

#langblr #languagelearning #languageblr #japanese learning #self study #learning japanese #language learning #study japanese #日本語勉強 #japanese novel #haruki murakami 1q84 #haruki murakami #1Q84 #小説 #村上春樹

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ariapmdeol · 1 year ago

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Pale (arc 2)

this is my liveblog post arc 2 thoughts and rambles! I took longer to read this arc (alas. IRL things meant i took a break in the middle), so thoughts are more scattered. Hopefully I get through Arc 3 faster? Tucking it under the cut for length, Spoiler warning!

this arc was fun!! the faerie are FANTASTIC and i love the traps. I think the whole... pulling strings to lure the story in a direction that you find interesting. All of that is SOOO fascinating to me because yes! Otherverse magic system is STRUCTURED around this... kind of half meta way of magic working. The Spirits make things stronger when they're narratively significant. Three is a powerful number and makes things STICK. If you break your oaths after you've sworn that the spirits can trust you (Awakening) then the story isn't fun anymore, and you're forsworn. Symbolism implies things both in a Narrative sense AND in an Other sense. I'm having fun :D

I like how much the Kennet trio feel like teenagers. The awkward dancing around romance and relationships sticks out to me in particular. Very 13 year old and very cute!! Their dynamics with the other kids in their grade are really interesting; I like how they have history with them. Mentioning Gabe only to have no one recognize his name is SO fun too. It separates them from their Innocent friends. I wonder how this will get worse as the story progresses? As Avery, Verona, and Lucy get more involved on the Other side of things, they'll leave the Innocent side of things behind... That division is present in Lucy's family relationships too.

Lucy's struggles are REALLY interesting. I like the layers. A bit of the way she talks makes me feel... I guess she feels very firm in her convictions. In Justice, in an Eye for an Eye, almost. Maybe not quite that extreme because. She's 13. but it's there!

Verona wanting to become an Other... Searching for an escape from the life that she's expected to live. Leaving the mundanity of ordinary life to experience something more interesting. Reading her thoughts on it during the Cat chapter was kind of bittersweet? She doesn't want to grow up or change. She'd rather have sleepovers forever.

Victor of the hungry Choir! Victor of the Hungry Choir! I have nothing to say here, I'm just really excited.

SNOWDROP. I've seen that little critter around and i love her,, I would die for her.

Interlude chapter was FASCINATING. GOD I love how the interludes so far are pushing things forward, giving insights and outsider POVs of the girls! It's so so cool!! I love how the Augurs don't know what's going on with the Kennet Trio, too. Very Very fun to Know things that the characters don't, and seeing them try to puzzle it out was fun. Nicolette doesn't know how to handle this at all! I love how fleshed out her life is too-- A lot of really fun worldbuilding details. This is typical of Wildbow's writing, but I love how many moving pieces there are.

Alexander.. This is the Augur who got Charles forsworn, right? (no need to confirm/deny this, i'm just thinking out loud).

anyways! Yeah. Pale is fun <3

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wysteriaz-blog · 2 years ago

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Two Worlds Collided & They Could Never Tear Us Apart

Chapter 1: The Beginning

You somehow end up lost in Japan, having little to no memory of your life before, or any understanding of the land and people here. But you meet extraordinary individuals, who over time become very important to your new life as you travel and fight together, forming unbreakable bonds.

However, with a centuries-old war between a secret organization and demons waging on, these bonds are put to the test when you find yourself caught in the center of it all.

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Hello and welcome!

Before you dive in, there are a few things to note, so please take a moment to read through these details:

First: This story will diverge from canon, following the original Demon Slayer narrative up to a certain point with a twist. Some elements will be altered or added to fit the story, so expect changes in characters, situations, and dialogues throughout!

[All characters are aged up (18+) due to mature content like language, violence, suggestive themes, and more as the story unfolds. Please keep this in mind!]

As a side note, this is not an Isekai! You, the reader (Y/n), are an actual part of this world! Y/n's description is minimal to allow you to imagine her as you like for better immersion.

Second: Italicized text (dialogue) represents Japanese, while plain text is in English. Please note that while I strive for accuracy, I'm not an expert in Japanese language or culture. Therefore, some translations and details may not be perfect or entirely correct.

Third: I don't have a set update schedule, so I appreciate your patience. Writing is time-consuming, especially with chapters ranging from 10k to 20k words! I occasionally share sneak peeks of upcoming chapters to keep you engaged.

And lastly: I plan for this story to have multiple endings, including both happy and angsty ones. You'll have the opportunity to choose your preferred ending, with select characters available as romantic interests.

(Please note that not all characters will be available as romantic interests. This decision stems from my belief that I may not do justice to some characters in a romantic context due to narrative constraints or a lack of connection with their personalities. Additionally, more characters may be introduced or removed as the story progresses. Your understanding of this dynamic is greatly appreciated!)

Your feedback and support are invaluable, motivating me and helping me improve. Feel free to share your thoughts as you read!

Thank you for your understanding, patience, and love for this story! Enjoy your reading journey!

*.ﾟ+ヽ(○･▽･○)ﾉﾞ +.ﾟ*

▪︎☆°○°☆ Playlist ☆°○°☆▪︎

This is a Work In Progress!

[Cross-posted on Wattad and Inkitt!]

I am no longer posting on Tumblr!! To read the (heavily updated and better version) story, please visit my main Ao3—or Wattpad or Quotev (my username is the same on all accounts: Wysteriaz)

Your eyes slowly open, blinking a few times as they try to adjust to the bright light of the sun shining overhead. You find yourself lying on the ground in a serene setting, but something feels off. There's a slight gust of wind as you push yourself up to take a moment to assess your surroundings, noticing that you are surrounded by an expansive plain of lush green fields stretching out as far as the eye can see, with forests and mountains dotting the horizon.

This place is not familiar; you don't recognize a single piece of this land.

You're sitting just off of a dirt road, underneath a lone tree that has kept watch and somewhat protected you from the elements while you were unconscious. Confusion floods your mind as you try to recall how you ended up here. But to your dismay, your memory is as blank as a canvas, devoid of any recollection of the past. The absence of any recognizable landmarks or signs leaves you feeling disoriented and isolated. Panic begins to creep in, and questions buzz inside your mind like a swarm of bees.

Where are you?

How did you get here?

And more importantly... who are you?

You are only able to recall your first name... but anything more than that is a complete mystery.

You groan as you sit up even more and try to move, but your head begins pounding, and your leg feels incredibly sore. You must have been here for quite some time as you try to straighten out your leg from the uncomfortable way it was bent, feeling pinpricks as circulation rushes back into the limb. You also notice that your blouse and pants are fairly dirty, with a few places scuffed up but luckily not torn. Your throat feels dry and scratchy, and you're left to wonder just how long you've been out here. Sighing, you try once more to stand up, but seeing as your leg won't cooperate just yet, you give up on that thought and opt to just sit there with a dejected frown for the time being. You want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible, so you pray that, by some miracle, someone will come along to help you, and you can only hope that it's someone you know.

But seeing as you have absolutely no idea where you are currently or who you even are, you try to keep your expectations low.

It seemed like luck was on your side in some form, as a loud squawk rings in the distance, sounding an awful lot like the call of a crow, which is then followed by a few yells that were most definitely human. You squint and spot the ebony-feathered bird flying up above in the distance, then cast your eyes downward to find a figure running below it, both of them heading right in your general direction. It sounds like a man given by the way their voice sounds as they yell, but it doesn't matter to you whether they are a man or woman, as you just want to get help. Hope flares in your chest as they seem to finally spot you, veering off of the dirt road to swiftly make their way straight towards you.

The crow lets out another loud caw and circles the air overhead as it reaches you, the man not far behind it. He's wearing some kind of uniform, with a black and green checkered coat. His hair looks to be a dark reddish brown, which is swept back but slightly messy, with a few looser pieces framing the sides of his face. As he gets even closer, you also take notice of a plum-sized scar on his forehead, and dangling from his ears are a pair of rectangular earrings that swing with every step he takes, your eyes drawn to the interesting pattern.

As he bounds over, he shouts once again, and you are slow to realize that he must be speaking to you because he's looking right at you and waving his hands... however, you don't understand a single word that escapes his mouth.

"Hey! Are you okay?!"

You tilt your head forward, furrowing your brows, as you try your hardest to understand what he's saying. Even as you strain to take in every syllable with immense concentration, not a single word makes sense to you as your brain tries to pick them apart and put them together again.

Why couldn't you understand him?

Did you hit your head really hard?

"It's a good thing my crow spotted you! It seemed like you might need help. What..."

He comes to a halt in front of you, his words trailing off as his eyes quickly scan you up and down, confusion mixing with the concerned look in his eyes. He has never seen someone like you before. A sheepish smile breaks out as he stops himself from staring, scratching his head. He quickly crouches down to your level, and his tone grows worried as he looks at you more closely, but he speaks softly so as not to scare you.

"Ummm, are you okay? I apologize if this may seem rude, but why are you... here? Did something happen?"

You keep trying to focus and dissect the words, but still... nothing.

You shake your head, and the hope you had felt before dwindles down with nothing but a few sparks remaining. This... was not good. You don't know what he's saying; the words sound completely foreign to you, which could only mean that he was in fact speaking another language right now and that you didn't hit your head so hard that you forgot your own language. Considering that you are very much mentally and physically lost, this was not how you wanted this scenario to unfold, and the realization that you are stuck in the middle of nowhere with a stranger that doesn't speak the same language only adds to the turmoil in your mind right now.

"I... I don't know what you're saying," you say slowly, the words catching in your throat as you speak for what felt like the first time.

He appears a little shocked when he hears your own voice. You not only looked different, but you also spoke differently. His confusion and curiosity grow by the second as he continues to observe you. It's not every day that he comes across a foreigner. Sitting back on his heels, he looks to the sky and gains the attention of his crow by waving his arm around and calling out to it, and the bird swoops down to land on the outstretched limb. Once he starts to speak to the bird, your hope of being saved from this peculiar situation you've found yourself in dwindles even further, until there's nothing left. This whole thing was starting to become a little too much for you to process right now, especially in your current state.

You are most definitely dehydrated and probably haven't eaten in a while, so your energy levels are extremely low and you feel weak. You desperately need to get things figured out right now, but how can he help you if you don't speak the same language, let alone understand each other? Not to mention... he's talking to a bird, and you're pretty sure that that is not normal. He turns to you and speaks again, giving you a puzzled look, but all you do is just stare back at him. Only when he makes a gesture with his free hand by opening and closing his fingers together as he mouths words to you do you get an idea as to what he may be trying to say right now.

"Uhh, do you... want me to speak?"

The crow perched on his arm watches you intently, its wings flapping up as it caws loudly after you speak. You grimace at the loud noise, growing a little agitated when it makes the pounding in your head worse, but it's quickly forgotten in a moment. You're absolutely shocked and intrigued when the crow starts speaking as well, and not in just any language, but in English nonetheless!

"Girl, not from here? English! English is what you speak, yes?!"

"W-What?! Yes, correct... how did—"

Before you can even finish your sentence, though, the crow caws loudly once again and then speaks to the man in the other language, which your brain is now finally recognizing as Japanese.

Wait...

Japanese?

Then does that mean you are in Japan?

Why are you here, and more importantly, how did you get here?

The man rubs his chin thoughtfully as he nods along to the bird speaking to him, then turns his attention back to you. "Ehh... English?" he stammers a little, his brows slightly furrowed as he gazes at you.

You dumbly stare at him, your mind a little slow to catch up to what he had just said, but once it clicks, you nod and quickly try to get up in your newfound excitement. But the rushed movements cause you to clench your jaw and settle back down after causing some pain and discomfort to your tired and aching body. However, with the flames of hope rekindled, you can't stop grinning and ignore the pain.

Yes!

Maybe there is a chance that you'll find your way out of this confusing situation and figure out who you even are, how you ended up here, and where you live so that you could possibly go back home. He notices the way you subtly wince in pain and fretfully raises his hands in concern, a frown making its way onto his face as he stops you from moving any more. He swiftly stands back up and holds his hands out towards you, lightly pushing them forward in a gesture for you to take hold. Instead of watching you try to painfully get up on your own, he's offering to help you. He's patient as you hesitate for a moment, slowly placing your hands in his as you look up at him momentarily to give him a curt nod, signaling that you are ready to stand up. He hoists you up with a lot more ease than you were expecting and keeps you steady with one of his hands lightly sliding to your arm.

He loosens his grip around your joined palms, but he doesn't release his hold entirely so that you don't lose your balance and fall over.

"Thank you..." you mumble.

After a painfully awkward and very silent minute, you lightly pull away to give the hint that you feel strong enough to stand on your own now. He lets go of you with a small smile, happy that you seem to be fine for now. You can practically see the gears turning in his mind as he then looks off to the side for a moment. He slightly startles you as he suddenly perks up and turns back towards you with two fingers pointed down, making what appears to be a walking motion. You're quick to understand the gesture, so you give another short nod and grin a little as he eagerly nods along.

You're still a little shaky after being on the ground for so long, so you sway a little as you both start to walk, but he's quick to offer his arm for you to hold onto for support. Although you don't want to lean on a stranger so much, you're much too tired to be rejecting the support he's so kindly offering, so you reluctantly grasp onto him in fear of falling down and potentially hurting yourself even more. With your hands firmly secured around his bicep, you carefully walk away from the tree and head towards the dirt road. It proves to be a little difficult as the ground is uneven, and your legs are still trying to get used to being active again after who knows how long you've been out, but you slowly start to get the hang of it.

As he continues to help you walk forward, you become lost in your thoughts once more. The dragging of your feet as well as the subtle change in your scent catch his attention. He suddenly stops walking, turning to face you as his expression shifts, quietly observing you. His gaze holds a gentle kind of warmth that you're entirely unfamiliar with, sympathy and genuine care gleaming from within deep pools of red, and for some reason... you don't think that you've ever had such kindness directed at you before. Not even from a person that you might have known in the past.

And yet, here he was—a total stranger—looking at you as if you had value... as if... you actually mattered.

Why...?

How can someone be so gentle, compassionate, and warm?

You don't know why, but those thoughts and feelings nearly make you want to cry; however, you manage to hold yourself together and maintain eye contact for just a few more moments. But it almost feels too intimate to have someone look at you in such a way, as if they were trying to look past what was right in front of them and peek into your very soul. But you don't believe that your soul was meant to be viewed with such closeness and care; it makes you nervous, something deep down inside telling you that you weren't worthy of such things.

So, you quickly look away and try to appear as nonchalant as you possibly can.

But you're unaware that he has a keen sense of smell, although your scent is very faint, and he's able to pick up on your emotions right now, which are a swirling mix of confusion, anxiety, fear, and sadness...

He's always been so sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, and you were no exception, even if you were harder to read. He glances in the direction that he was heading in earlier before coming across you, then his gaze slowly falls back onto you. You were clearly very lost, so he couldn't just leave you here. Not that he planned on doing so anyway. He's hoping to find a nearby village or town where you might be able to receive better help, as he was heading to a mission and needed to focus on it, but you would be safe with him for the time being. And even though you don't understand each other, he thinks it would be best to make sure that you are okay with following him.

Seeming to have luck communicating with you by using his hands and making simple gestures before, he tries once more to get your attention and convey his intentions.

"Do you," he begins by pointing at you, then pointing to himself, "want to follow me? I'm on my way to a mission, but maybe we can find a place along the way and you can get help?" He makes the same walking motion as before as he continues to speak, then points at you again before holding his hand up to his chest and clenching his fist. "You can accompany me, and I'll make sure you're safe until then."

You watch his actions intently. While spoken words may be difficult to understand, body language is fairly easy to decipher if you pay close enough attention, which is exactly what you do. And you think that you get the gist of what he is trying to tell you. He must be asking you to follow him, and while he is a stranger and you should probably be much more wary, you are extremely tired, weak, and very much lost. You have no idea where to go from here. But he most likely knows where the closest town or city is located, so it only makes sense to follow him. He's also been very kind and helpful thus far; he didn't have to go out of his way to help you, but he chose to spare his time to come check on you—a random person that he found laying on the ground in the middle of nowhere—when he could have easily just minded his own business.

Sadly, not a lot of people would have shown as much sympathy as he has.

If someone else had come across you, it's very likely that they would have just left you to rot there. So, you're quite lucky that he was the one to find you. As you see it, there really isn't any other option, so you nod and give a quick thumbs up. He grins once more and slowly leads you down the road, heading in the direction of his mission and where you will hopefully find a village on the way. After around half an hour of walking, a bunch of shouts and wails can be heard in the distance. You both frown and slightly pick up the pace, curious to find out where the noise is coming from.

The shouting gets closer as you make it to the top of a little hill, and you see two figures in the middle of the road, about one hundred yards away from where you stand. It appears to be a woman and a man; he's dressed all in yellow and orange, and his hair is just as brightly colored. He's on the ground, his hands clinging to the woman's clothing as he appears to grovel at her feet. The woman, on the other hand, seems frazzled, and it looks like she's trying to shake him off without having to get too physical, but to no avail.

"I'm begging you, please, marry me! I'll die any day now, and I don't want to die alone!!"

Was this... a lover's quarrel?

In the middle of nowhere?

You and the man with the checkered coat briefly glance at each other, confusion sweeping over your faces.

"What on earth...?" he mumbles to himself.

"Marry meeeee," the man in the distance warbles pathetically. The woman tries to break away from his grasp, but he doesn't budge. "Please, find it within your heart to give me a chance before I inevitably die!!"

A little sparrow quickly flies over, chirping wildly as it lands on your new companion's hand. It seems distressed as it hops around in his palm, its small wings flapping about frantically. This causes a look of concern to cross his face.

"Yes...?" His brows shoot up as its chirps grow more desperate. "Huh...? Okay, I'll try to help!"

Was he... talking to the little bird? First the crow, and now this?

The crow was easier to accept because it actually talked like a person, but this sounded like your average sparrow. You must be going crazy or something because last time you checked, humans and birds did not speak to each other, but he somehow understood them. Little did you know that his ability to understand them was linked with his heightened sense of smell; he is able to perceive things outside of the normal range of perception, such as the feelings and thoughts of other living things.

So, he could understand animals if he really concentrated.

He takes off with the little, round-shaped bird, and you rush after him, not wanting to be left behind. Once he gets close enough to the couple, he promptly grabs onto the back of the man's attire, effectively cutting off his wailing as he drags him away from the woman.

His voice is still mellow, even as he rebukes the man with a rather cross look. "What are you doing? Why are you making such a scene in the middle of the road?! She's clearly not interested in you! Also, you're stressing your sparrow out! So could you please stop this nonsense?!"

The man chokes on air after being yanked away from the woman so suddenly. Your new companion looks down at him with a scowl as the man cries and yells even more while trying to grab the woman again. She turns her face away and takes a step back, ignoring his pleas. He blubbers incoherently, tears streaming down his face as he rambles on. But clearly, whatever he was blubbering about was somewhat comprehensive, as the woman immediately screeches very angrily and points her finger at him. She looks like she wants to leap over and smack him as she clenches her fists by her sides, but she miraculously holds herself back. After a few moments, your companion slowly releases the other man as he seems to calm down a little.

The blond stares at him with a tilt of his head as he's released, sniffling pitifully and wiping at his nose.

"Wait... that uniform," his eyes widen a fraction, and he gasps, "aren't you the guy from... Final Selection? I know you!"

"What?" Your companion's face twists. "Don't go pretending like we know each other, cause we don't.. 'kay? You're not getting out of trouble by trying to associate with me."

"HUAAAGH?! But.. we have met! Don't you remember?! I was standing right by your side at Final Selection as we chose which ore to have our blades forged with! Don't get angry at me when you're the one with a terrible memory!!"

You zone out and look over at the other woman, who has quickly been forgotten now that the two men were too caught bickering with each other. You catch her eye, and she gives a strained smile, so you offer one back. Her expression was one that all women could unfortunately understand at one point or another in their lives; it was the look of a woman who has been dealing with a man for far longer than she'd like. She was trying her best to be polite, but it only made matters worse, and he wasn't taking the hint that she was not interested. Some men were absolutely clueless and persistent, and as she glared at the blonde who was still arguing with your new companion, you knew without a doubt that she felt he was insufferable and she wanted nothing more than to strangle him.

With a quick glance at the men, you turn back to her and nudge your head to the side, wordlessly telling her that this was her chance to leave now without being noticed. She gives another smile, slightly bowing her head as she quickly and quietly walks away and heads down the road. You turn back to the men and become startled as the blonde suddenly realizes that the woman is leaving, yelling once again. You're not sure how his vocal cords haven't given up yet, it's almost impressive how loud he is.

"HANG ON, WHERE IS SHE GOING?!!! HOW DARE YOU INTERFERE! THAT GIRL WAS MADLY IN LOVE WITH ME!! THE TWO OF US WERE GONNA GET MARRIED!!!"

He tries to follow her, but he's stopped once again as your companion sighs in exasperation. "Would you give it a rest already... she wasn't in love with you!"

"How do you know? And why'd you have to get in my way?! This had nothing to do with you!" When your companion only stares at him with a strange look akin to disgust, it sets the blonde off into hysterics. "Why are you looking at me like that?! STOOOP IT!!!! You're staring at me like I'm some sort of pitiful creature or something!! Now, you listen here! The reason I missed out on getting married is all your fault, so you owe me!"

A gust of wind blows by and causes you to shiver, your arms shifting up to wrap around you in a weak attempt to warm yourself back up. Suddenly, the man seems to teleport right in front of you and clings onto your legs, shaking his head around as he squeals in delight. You gasp and swing your arms in a circular motion as you try to stay upright and not fall over from how abruptly he attached himself to you.

"Woahhh, so cute! Where have you been all my life?! Please... I beg of you!! You're the only hope I have left of not dying alone!! I promise I'll be the best husband you could ever have if you could just give me a chance!!"

As quickly as he was latched onto your legs, he's just as quickly removed when your companion snatches him back with incredible speed.

He raises his voice more sternly than before as he scolds him for his behavior. "Hey, don't grab at her like that!"

The man in green looks a little frustrated and displeased at having to restrain the blonde so much, but the man doesn't seem to hear him or care as he continues to reach out for you. He manages to slip free for a split second, almost grabbing you a second time, but your 'hero' quickly intervenes once again by jumping in front of you and blocking the man with a deeply disapproving scowl. They collide, bumping heads, and the blond collapses ungracefully and lets out a yelp as he lands on his backside.

"Agh! Go away! Stop interfering with my proposals! Just who do you think you are?!" The blond screeches, pointing an accusing finger at him as he scrambles back up. "What exactly is your name anyway, huh?!"

"My name is Tanjiro Kamado," he states with a hand on his chest. "And you are?"

"Okay, Tanjiro Kamado, my name is Zenitsu Agatsuma! Now, go away and let us get married in peace! I need her to be my wife, so I don't die as a complete nobody!!"

"No!" Tanjiro makes a face, pursing his lips and narrowing his eyes at Zenitsu while he crosses his arms. "Aren't you being a bit dramatic? Why did you even become a swordsman, anyway? You're acting utterly pathetic right now..."

"Well, I got conned by a woman and racked up a lot of debt. The old geezer who took it over for me happened to be a tough-as-nails instructor! He made me train to the bone every day; it was so hellish, I just wanted to die!! I was hoping it'd happen during Final Selection, but since I survived, this nightmare continues to haunt me! You see, I'm not that strong, and I'm absolutely terrified of fighting, and you know what we fight... right? Demons! I don't want to fight demons—I'm going to be eaten!" He grabs at his hair and pulls on it, shaking uncontrollably while biting on his lip. "I don't want to die alone, so that's why I have to marry a beautiful woman before my inevitable death happens!"

"That's— Um, well..." Tanjiro sighs and shakes his head. "Look, I'm sure you aren't going to die. You're a lot stronger than you may think. I mean, you've made it this far, right? You passed the Final Selection, so that has to prove something!"

"Yeah, I guess..." Zenitsu replies hesitantly, not fully sharing Tanjiro's optimism. "It was just dumb luck..."

They stare at each other for a few moments before they seem to calm down even more, turning their attention back to you. You feel so awkward standing there, not understanding a single thing that has been going on.

And the guy who was yelling and crying at your feet just a few seconds ago now stares at you with a curious sort of gleam in his eyes. His voice is more slow and quiet, a startling contrast compared to before, as he squints and leans around both sides of your figure, closely observing your features.

"Hey, now that I really look at her, she doesn't exactly look like she's from here...? Who is she? Where is she from? Why are you two together?"

"I... actually don't know..." Tanjiro rubs the back of his neck as he smiles sheepishly. "My crow spotted her out in a field a while ago, and she seemed lost, so I'm watching over her while I head to my next mission. I'm hoping there's a place along the way where she can receive proper help." He then glances at you, his tone questioning. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name before. Could you tell us?"

You blink, and you imagine your face gives away your confusion because he tries asking you again in a much slower manner, trying his best to get you to understand what he was asking, but it doesn't help much—you still have no clue what he is saying.

It hits you once again just how lost you are, and the frustration of not being able to properly communicate with anyone is really starting to get to you. Even though you are in the presence of two other people right now, you've never felt more alone. You don't know these men at all. You don't know anyone. You don't know this place. And worst yet, you don't even really know yourself right now.

But what you do know is that you're tired.

Everything also aches.

And you just really want to go home.

Tanjiro's eyes widen slightly, his expression morphing into one of surprise and mild panic. You don't realize that you've started to cry until he cautiously steps closer and looks at you with a worried expression. The tears slowly slide down your face, and you wipe at them with shaky hands, your breaths coming out uneven and choppy.

"AHHH," Zenitsu yells loudly. "WHY IS SHE CRYING?! W-WHAT HAPPENED?! DID—"

He abruptly stops when Tanjiro turns around, placing a finger over his lips to shush him before giving you his full attention once again. He tries his best to soothe you by very cautiously putting his hands on your shaking shoulders and gently patting them while he leans down to try and get a better look at your face. But you're reluctant to let him fully look at you as you cry, stubbornly keeping your head held down to cover your expression.

"Are you okay...?" he asks softly. "Are you feeling alright?"

Even though he knows you won't answer because you can't understand him, he still felt the need to ask, but you likely wouldn't have answered him anyway, even if you did. And even if that were the case, he wouldn't have taken it personally; he could understand that you are likely very stressed and not in a talkative mood given your situation. He just wants to make sure that you're fine, at least in the physical sense... as you clearly weren't feeling all that well on the psychological side of things. He has yet to detect the strong, distinct metallic smell of blood, which was a good sign that you had no vital injuries. But he leans back with his eyes sweeping over you from head to toe, just to be sure, because he wasn't able to fully pick up your scent before.

After a quick scan confirms your well-being, he speaks once again, hoping to mitigate your growing emotions.

"Hey, everything will be fine; don't worry. I'm here to help, okay? Whatever is going on, we'll figure it out!"

When your quiet crying slowly turns into full-blown sobbing, his face falls with growing uncertainty. He's come across a few odd situations throughout his life, but he found himself feeling unsure of what to do in this situation. He's dealt with emotional people before, whether he knew them or not; he had a fairly big family with a couple of younger siblings growing up, so he was no stranger to random tantrums or crying outbursts—although they were few and far between. With that said, he had some experience and seemed to have a knack for making people feel better, so he's taken it upon himself to try his best to comfort you in this moment.

But... how does he comfort someone when there are language barriers?

Not to mention, there may be cultural differences in what is considered acceptable conduct—especially between the opposite sexes. He has no idea where you're from. While most people were more private and reserved in his culture, it wasn't completely taboo to get close to or even touch a stranger with the means to console them in a respectable manner. But you aren't from here, so he worries if he's allowed to try doing anything more than simply placing his hands on your shoulders, even though his intentions are well-meaning. He truly doesn't want to make you uncomfortable, but he feels as if he has to do something, so he tentatively moves closer while opening his arms in a manner that suggests he's offering a hug if you want or need it.

His movements are rather slow, giving you the time to react and reject his (rather bold for him) advance. But you don't dodge his encroaching figure and allow him to move forward. He figures if you haven't pushed him away by now, then this was probably fine and you weren't too uncomfortable with the close proximity. And the fact that he doesn't smell anything that would suggest you were afraid eases his mind a little more, even if your scent was harder to pick up than most. You let him close the distance and bring you into his arms, not caring that he or the other man are witnessing an embarrassing little meltdown.

But who could blame you?

You're confused, tired, and lost, with no real memories of who you even are. Anyone would be overwhelmed and overcome by the torrent of emotions you're currently dealing with in this situation. You can't seem to stop the tears from falling, nor do you have the energy to try, so you give in to the growing tide of emotions and pull yourself closer as you cry into his shoulder. The poor man was probably very confused and uncomfortable, but you remind yourself that he was the one to initiate the consoling embrace in the first place. And even if he had reservations about it, he wasn't doing anything to stop you from soaking the thin fabric of his uniform as you clung to him, so you don't put too much energy into worrying about it.

The longer you stand there in his hold, the better you actually start to feel.

Like before, his presence is very... soft and warm, and the pressure of his arms loosely wrapped around you was comforting.

It was rather... nice.

His quiet demeanor keeps you somewhat grounded and allows you a moment to self-regulate. You didn't feel trapped or have any lingering sense of unease with being so close to a stranger—a man, no less—and there was no impression of judgment or discrimination. He just felt safe to be around, so you slowly begin to relax until you've calmed down enough to take a few deep breaths and finally step away, releasing your tight hold of his clothing as you keep your eyes downcast.

You are a little embarrassed for clinging to him and crying like that, but oh well...

Ever so slowly, you glance back up at him for a brief moment, your gaze bouncing to the other man as you sniffle and wipe at your face.

"Sorry about that..."

Zenitsu puts a finger in his ear and twists it. "Huh... what? I didn't understand her at all! Wait, are my ears still working, or does she not speak Japanese?!" He stares at you and starts shouting as he maneuvers closer to speak directly to you. "Hey, what language are you speaking?! Where did you come from?! I haven't met very many foreigners before! Whatever it is, it sounds nice! Do you—"

You can feel the tears trying to surface again as he continues yelling in your face. Damn it, not again! You don't get the feeling that he's yelling at you—not in the way that would suggest he's angry or anything—no, you could tell he's just a very loud and enthusiastic person. But apparently you are quite sensitive to someone yelling directly in your face, because it starts to overwhelm you to the point of making you want to cry again.

It was like some kind of subconscious impulse.

You have no idea why you're reacting this way; he wasn't acting scary or mean, but you can't help it, and you feel so pathetic.

You feel weak and frustrated.

And you're more than sure it's just as frustrating for them to try and deal with a random lady who's become a blubbering mess, and not only that, but someone who doesn't even speak their language. The tears start to fill your lash line once again, and you try your best to keep it under control.

"Ah, no, it's okay!" Tanjiro frets, waving his hands around and shooting the blonde a subtle glare to stop him from rambling on. "Please, don't cry... I really apologize if we did something to upset you!"

He bows down low to the ground, and Zenitsu squeaks as he quickly follows suit. You don't quite know how to react. This was all so confusing, and you were almost at your wits end trying to make sense of anything. But they looked a little nervous and frazzled themselves, which momentarily took your focus away from the building pressure inside of you that was threatening to burst.

You blink a few times, your voice a little strained. "Uhh...? No, no... please, don't do that!"

Admittedly, you don't know a lot about their culture, but from what little information you are able to recall, bowing was generally used as a form of greeting, reverence, apology, or gratitude in social or religious situations. You have no idea how you know that, as you don't remember ever being in a situation that would include the customs of Japan, but you do. Anyway, you did not want them bowing to you. It didn't feel right, and given the context, you didn't feel as if they needed to apologize for anything. They lift their heads at the distressed sound of your request, watching as you grab at their arms to make them stand back up.

"I'm sorry," you sigh morosely. "I don't know what's going on... I don't know where I am. I'm tired and overwhelmed. And I just—"

You slump down as your body seems to give up, having no will to stand up anymore. You don't finish your sentence and fall silent, except for the occasional sniffle as you try to regulate your breathing once again. Both of them react quickly as they help you back onto your feet, waving their arms around with strained smiles. They look between you and each other, unsure of what to do at this moment. Neither side could understand each other. It was a tough situation to be in, but they had to keep trying to communicate with you somehow; otherwise, none of you would get anywhere. Tanjiro has found that communication isn't successful with only words alone; that was proven earlier when he had gotten you to understand him, if only a little bit, when he had used his hands to make signs as he spoke.

With that in mind, he stands in front of you again and asks the same question he had asked before, but this time he points to himself while saying, "Tanjiro Kamado," and then pointing back at you.

He keeps repeating himself slowly, trying his best to help you understand that he is giving you his name and that he's also asking for yours. He desperately wants to help you, now more so that your scent has somewhat grown stronger and he's able to pick up how frustrated and lonely you feel. You blink a few times, your face slightly scrunching up in concentration. He'd said the same thing earlier, except this time he was pointing at himself as he repeated a few words, which sounded like, 'Tan-jiro Kama-doh'.

Was that maybe... his name?

You hope so. It sort of made sense. And with him also pointing at you, could that mean he was asking for your name? You swallow the lump in your throat, desperately hoping that's what he was trying to get at; otherwise, you fear there truly may be no hope of communicating and getting the help that you need.

You'd be lost forever, alone...

Maybe that was an exaggeration, but you weren't in the most optimistic or brightest of moods right now. Sure, you might get help eventually, but you want to figure things out as soon as possible. You can't stand being in a constant state of confusion and uncertainty—it would drive anyone mad. And the thought of being completely lost, with little to no memories or real knowledge of how to survive on your own, absolutely terrifies you...

You take in a shaky breath, pursing your lips. "Are you asking for my name?"

You sound a little unsure as you point at yourself, but you try to keep your nerves down as you wait to see if he somehow understands you. His eyes light up as you do that, and he nods enthusiastically as he repeats, 'Tanjiro Kamado,' while pointing at himself, then pointing back at you with an expectant gleam. You can only assume from his reaction that the both of you have understood what each other was trying to say, so you finally smile a little in hope.

Well, here goes nothing...

"My name... is Y/n..." You speak slowly at first, enunciating as clearly as you can while pointing at yourself.

You also repeat yourself a few times, and he smiles wider as he echoes it, committing it to memory. As the smile on your own face begins to grow, he points back at himself and repeats his own name a few more times, wanting to make it as clear as possible between you both as to who you are. It wasn't much, but being able to communicate and understand each other, if only a little, was enough to make you excited. He then turns to the other man, speaking for a few moments before having him do the same thing, which the man does happily. You feel a little lighter now that you at least know their names—Tanjiro and Zenitsu. It's a lot better than referring to them by their appearances or how they acted.

It helped you feel less lonely and scared, as they felt more personal now... more real, if that made any sense.

You let out a soft breath and smile in relief. Once they see that you look less agitated than before, they start speaking amongst themselves. You catch Tanjiro saying the word 'English,' and Zenitsu peers at you curiously while nodding along. You're definitely curious about what exactly they're talking about right now, but you don't pay much mind and continue standing off to the side, your eyes drifting up to the sky. After a few seconds, they finally stop and gain your attention again as Tanjiro clears his throat, while Zenitsu tilts his head as he looks at you both.

"Y/n-san... uhh, English?" Tanjiro asks curiously, trying his best to correctly pronounce the unfamiliar word on his tongue.

He just wanted to double-check what his crow had told him earlier. He smiles when you grin a little and nod, taking it as confirmation of what he had learned earlier.

Zenitsu perks up. "So...?"

"Well, it seems my crow was correct. She speaks English. I asked if he would be able to help translate earlier, but he said he couldn't speak it well—only understand."

"You said you were taking her with you, right?"

"Yes, do you think we'll be able to find anyone who speaks English?"

"Sure, but I highly doubt anyone all the way out here would know anything. Your best bet is probably in one of the bigger cities, although... they're a long way away. The closest one is about a four-day trek on foot from here."

Tanjiro hums in thought, nodding along. "That is pretty far... and I have a mission I have to complete, but do you think you'll be able to lead us there afterwards, Zenitsu?"

"Yeah, of course! I couldn't just leave a fair lady in need of help! But if you're heading in that direction," he gestures to behind him, "then it'll probably take even longer."

"Well, that's fine. As long as we can find some towns along the way to recuperate, we should be okay." Tanjiro then turns back to you, smiling softly. "Y/n-san, will you follow us?"

All you can catch is your name, but once he points in the direction you were heading in earlier with him, you bob your head happily, as you knew what he was asking now. He wanted you to follow him, and it looked like Zenitsu was tagging along now. Tanjiro grins wider, and Zenitsu bounces on his feet with a little cheer, feeling excited to finally travel with other people after being on his own for a while. You laugh a little, and Zenitsu stops moving to stare at you with wide eyes. This was the first time you didn't look so confused or upset since he met you. And he could hear you better now—your inner sound—which all living things had. Every person has their own unique sound, giving off different frequencies and vibrations depending on their thoughts and feelings. And yours had sounded off before; it was, for lack of a better word, pathetic and held a muted sort of overtone. But now... it was like listening to something soft yet light, like wind chimes tinkling in the breeze. His eyes sparkle as he brings his hands together, giggling to himself.

You had the most adorable laugh!

Sure, he thought you were quite cute before, but seeing you smile and listening to how happy you sounded right now made you even cuter in his eyes. Call him a fool, but he felt like he was in heaven. There's a dopey smile on his face as he looks at you and falls to your feet, and you can only look down at him perplexed, as you don't have a single clue as to what his deal was now.

"Waaah, she's so cute! It's an amazing honor to be in the mere presence of such a lovely lady~ Oh man, I could actually die happy if I was married to a girl like her. Wouldn't you agree, Tanjiro? Isn't she just the cutest?!"

You seriously have no clue what Zenitsu is suddenly raving on about, but now that he isn't crying and screaming every five seconds, he actually isn't all that bad. He was kind of strange, in an endearing sort of way, and fairly amusing to listen to so you found yourself laughing a little more at his theatrics. You notice Tanjiro looks a little caught off guard by whatever Zenitsu was saying, though, your eyes flickering between them curiously.

"Huh...? Uhmm, yes...? I mean... I can agree, she is cute," he mumbles honestly, scratching at his cheek.

Zenitsu is still giggling to himself, rolling around on the ground, but he stops abruptly when Tanjiro's words register in his head, his grin suddenly dropping as he stares at him with a blank face.

"So... you think she's cute, too, huh?"

"Ah, well—"

"Listen here!! I asked her to marry me first! You got that?!! I can forgive you for ruining my first proposal, but I will never forgive you for trying to take her for yourself, alright?!?"

Tanjiro accidentally makes eye contact with you as Zenitsu starts wildly yelling at him, and his eyes flash with the slightest bit of panic and embarrassment before he quickly looks away, his shoulders tensing up. He faces Zenitsu again, waving his hands around frantically.

"Zenitsu, slow down! That's not what I meant at all! There's no way I would marry her! No, I mean... it's not that I wouldn't marry her because she isn't cute—she is... b-but that's not the point," he rambles on, trying to backtrack, but Zenitsu continues to glare at him. "I was just agreeing that she is attractive! But I wouldn't try to marry her, especially just for her appearance! I would actually like to get to know someone and eventually marry for love..!"

He stands still, completely stiff, staring straight ahead with an awkward grimace as he finishes his proclamation. He looks beyond flustered with whatever their conversation is about, which only makes you wonder what was going on.

Damn, you wish you could understand them.

It's silent for just a few seconds before it's broken once again by Zenitsu screeching, "WHHHHAAAT?! LOOOOOVE?!?!?! DID YOU JUST SAY THAT YOU LOVE HER?!?!"

"N-No! I just met her!" Tanjiro chokes as Zenitsu grabs him by the collar and starts shaking him around. "Where did you get that idea?! I couldn't love her! Well, not that I couldn't... who knows what will happen, r-right? I'm just saying if I got to know her—or anyone, really—and fell in love, then it would only make sense to get married! Aghh, b-but I don't mean that it will happen!! It could, but— I was just agreeing... I was just—"

Tanjiro finally snaps his mouth closed, his cheeks dusted a bright red as he quickly turns away and slips out of Zenitsu's grasp, trying to escape his unreasonable wrath. He was done with this conversation now, feeling slightly awkward and uncomfortable. He doesn't understand where Zenitsu was getting all these ideas, but he wasn't going to play into it and make matters worse by trying to explain himself. He wasn't blind and could recognize attractive-looking people, so he simply agreed with Zenitsu—you were in fact cute. But the thought of love and marriage has not once crossed his mind. Why would it? And it's not like he doesn't like you, because he already likes you; it's just not in the same way that Zenitsu does.

He just met you!

The way that he sees it, he can appreciate the outward beauty of a person, but what he truly admires about someone is what lies in their heart, and it takes some time to get to really know someone. He refuses to base his feelings on the shallowness of appearance alone. Although, there was a time when he was younger, living with his family on a mountain, he briefly thought about his future when he got older. It wasn't entirely true that he never thought about love or potentially getting married someday; he did think about that, and it was something he hoped to achieve in his life at some point.

But that was a long time ago... and things are a lot different now.

True, he is older now and right around the age where many people start getting serious about their future, but he's much too busy to even think about pursuing a relationship with someone right now. Not to mention, he didn't even know if he'd be alive in the next couple of years, seeing as he was a Demon Slayer. People die all the time; it's not a guarantee how long you'll get to live, but the risks that came with his occupation meant he could very well die at any given moment, and his death would likely not be a peaceful one. Right now, he could only think about doing his duty as a Demon Slayer, finding a cure for his little sister, who was turned into a demon, and defeating the very demon who had turned their lives upside down by shredding their entire family apart with cold, bloody claws...

...Muzan Kibutsuji...

He doesn't want to think too much about any of this, so he shakes his head and starts marching off, ignoring Zenitsu, who's still spouting nonsense.

"Come on guys, let's go!"

You don't know what they were talking about, but you found it amusing nonetheless. Their faces were pretty comical. You gather your bearings and try to catch up to Tanjiro, who's hastily walking away, and Zenitsu quickly follows close behind, finally quieting down and allowing a moment of silence to hang over your small group. You don't know where you're going, but you trust them enough to follow them, as they truly seem like good people.

Besides, they were the only people that you know right now, and you definitely aren't going to go out on your own, especially since you can't speak Japanese.

Though the path ahead remains uncertain, you take solace in the fact that you are not alone and won't have to fend for yourself in unknown territory. You were going to stick with them, and with the help of these two kind-hearted, albeit peculiar men, you hope to unravel the mystery that has enveloped your existence and reclaim the fragments of your memory. So, with a newfound hope, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and you set out on a journey together. You have a feeling that things are only going to get more interesting from here on out. You smile lightheartedly, excited to see where this new path takes you in life.

A warmth and sense of peace wash over you.

This was just the beginning...

☽☼☾☽☼☾☽☼☾

Taisho Secrets

* The Kasugai crows are specially trained birds, as they are the main method of communication among the members of the Demon Slayer Corps. English is one of the many things that they may choose to learn, although it is fairly basic, as they will rarely encounter people who speak the language. Tanjiro's crow was one of the few to pass the test with flying colors (compared to some of the others...) and can understand the language quite well, however, his speech is somewhat limited.

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andypantsx3 · 2 years ago

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Andy..do you have any tips on writing such long pieces, and as well planning for them ??

Omg I'm so thrilled you think my fics are long lol. It's my dream to one day hit like, novel length fics, but we're still a little ways away!!

That being said I do think there are some specific considerations that go into planning a multi-chapter fic!!

I think the first thing is to gauge where you're at in terms of motivation & interest. One of my biggest sticking points with multi-chapter fics, and also the reason I have not written anything longer than like 40k at this point, is that I lose focus/motivation the longer I work on something!! Try to have an honest conversation with yourself about how much interest you have in a particular fic idea, and where you think you are in terms of like, general motivation to keep working on that idea. For me, some ideas will be like, only 4 chapters worth of interest & motivation, while some will be 9.

Once you have that, use that to shape the level of detail or complexity of the plot you're going to include. If you're only going to work through a short number of chapters you can't have an overly complex plot and huge cast of characters, etc. Maybe limit your plot to just one or two story lines, like the central conflict and the romance. On the opposite side, if you truly believe you have motivation for a huge fic, scrounge around for extra C & D plots you can include to keep the fic moving!

In actually sitting down and planning a fic, I think others would have better advice for you! And I think this is also somewhat of an area where you have to try and see what works for your personal style, but I will give you the general tips that work for me!!

Choose a central conflict. This doesn't have to be anything intense (like for fingerprints it was just Reader coming to terms with the nature of Shouto's feelings for her, but for you're the one that i haunt it's that Bakugou becomes a ghost only Reader can see). But if you're going to write anything at length you will need some general conflict to keep it moving and tie everything together, otherwise it meanders.

Figure out how that conflict progresses from beginning to middle to end. For you're the one that i haunt, I outlined it as 1) Reader sees Bakugou and establishes that yes he really is there, 2) Reader and Bakugou team up to investigate why he's a ghost and how to fix it, and 3) Reader and Bakugou decide how they want to fix it (shoving ghost Bakugou through real Bakugou's body) and follow up on that plan. From this point you can sort of figure out what the key scenes will be for your fic, as well as how well some scenes you already had in mind may fit/not fit this fic.

Establish characterization. Think on how your Reader and their love interest are going to engage with the conflict progression. Is Reader smart or oblivious, and how will that shape how they respond in the scenes you are writing? Similarly, what is the canon character love interest like in canon? How does that mean they would respond to the events of your fic? This will give you a general idea of the actions and shape of the dialogue you will need to include in each scene. And it will also help you by keeping your characters somewhat consistent!!

Don't plan too much. Sometimes if you outline a fic too intensely it can feel like you have already written it and you end up losing the motivation to keep going on it! At least for me I like to outline the general events and characters' attitudes, but leave the specifics and the detail up to future Andie to decide as she's writing, so it still feels like I'm getting to explore and daydream as I go lol.

Anyway that is the general advice I have for you, although if you think of any more specific questions I'm happy to answer!!

Happy writing, sending you all my best vibes!!

#ask andie

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rose-madder-gaze · 1 year ago

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advice for avoiding revision fatigue

From Writing Mysteries (2002), ed. Sue Grafton. Chapter Fifteen: Outlining by Robert Campbell

I have discovered through the years, and even now, that retyping pages over and over again to rewrite a paragraph or even a phrase is no longer required. Rereading the work over and over again to refresh my memory of the details and nuances that do not find their way into the outline or the supporting documents creates a condition in which the words become shopworn and the sinews of the plot are no longer a wonder of literary architecture but merely a cloth riddled with holes.

There's danger here of making changes not because they are better but merely because they are different and I have developed a craving for something green.

So, after each chapter is completed, I use the cut and paste function of my program and create a condensed version of it. Usually the first paragraph and the last, with a few significant paragraphs in between.

Then, when I want and need to get my threads of the story refreshed in my mind before the new day's writing session, I read the brief version, which is usually more than enough to do the job.

Of course the book will have to be read in its entirety more than once while it is in progress, but three or four readings instead of twelve or fifteen will keep it from going stale too soon.

#writing #creative writing #writing advice #Writing Mysteries #Robert Campbell #text post #I'd hoped to get more eureka moments like this out of the book #but uhhh let's call this one a diamond in the rough #even inside of its chapter #will share any more I find

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attic-club-sandwich · 2 years ago

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To Ascend Again

Summary: After falling from the Celestial Realm, the seven brothers must rely on each other emotionally to cope with the loss of their sister, Lilith. Meanwhile, they are also trying to adjust to their new forms and heal both the physical and emotional wounds caused by the Celestial War. Their bonds become stronger than ever since the fall, and they learn to rise again from the calamity that befell them.

Genre: Angst/Hurt

A/N: Here is Chapter 7, sorry for the wait! I've officially decided to make the chapters longer. So buckle up. This Chapter is a conclusion of the HoL tour. We pretty much know the layout of the house by now so I didn't feel it necessary to cover everything. But later chapters will bring some of the rooms (*cough* Lilith's room *cough*) into the story. But I hope you enjoy most of the chapter is Levi's POV! I'm going to try and dedicate a chapter to each of the brothers' perspectives so we can really get in and dissect what they're feeling.

Taglist: @obey-me-posts @amberrskiies

Masterlist

Read on Ao3

Chapter 7: The Avatar of Envy

The tour of the House of Lamentation was taking longer than intended as the brothers explored the house and took note of which bedrooms they wanted to occupy. Asmo of course chose the bedroom with the biggest and most extravagant bathroom, which was quick to start an argument amongst the brothers.

“That’s not fair at all, why does HE have to get the good bathroom?” Levi whined. His amber eyes glowed a deep orange hue as he felt his sin of envy begin to take over. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was undeniably jealous of Asmo. All he wanted was to soak in a bathtub, rather than standing under the harsh droplets of water from a shower. Asmo had a huge smile on his face as he hummed to himself. “Because I’M the Avatar of Lust, darling! My appearance is vital to my status!” Levi groweld in response, knowing Asmo was taking notice of his jealousy. Diavolo let out a hearty laugh as he led the brothers back down the staircase. “There’s no need to worry, Leviathan. Each of your rooms has its own personal bathroom connected.” Lucifer sighed, he really wished his brothers didn’t announce their criticisms so openly in front of Diavolo. They should be lucky that they even have a place to stay thanks to the Demon Prince’s generosity. He watched as Levi groaned, itching the side of his neck. He was progressively getting more and more irritated and he couldn’t figure out why. “Leviathan, what’s the matter?” Lucifer asked as they all made their way back into the entryway of the house. He had also noticed how irritable his younger brother was becoming. “My neck is itchy, and I feel like I'm drying out.” he huffed. Barbatos made his way over to Levi, and touched the now very angry red spot on his neck. “Not to worry, Leviathan. You just need some hydration. The gills you possess in your demon form act very much like the gills of the aquatic species. Therefore, you should take care to make sure you stay hydrated throughout the day as it will most likely cause you to transform.” Levi gaped at him, unsure how to feel about this new discovery. He was still having difficulties controlling when his demon form took over, but now he had gills to worry about?

Barbatos bowed, stepping back to Diavolo’s side. “I think we’ve covered just about everything, so please feel free to retire for the evening. I can imagine how tired you all must be.” The demon prince was about to make his way out the door when he stopped, suddenly remembering something important. “Oh, Lucifer! We will return tomorrow morning with a few items for you all. I have something that will prove to be useful for you as you settle into the Devildom. Not to mention I’d like to discuss the details of getting you all enrolled in my Academy.” Lucifer dipped his head in response. “Of course, I’ll be sure we’re all ready when you arrive.” Diavolo gave him one last smile as Barbatos shooed him out the door. “Let’s leave them to relax, My Lord.” he said as they left, the door shutting behind them. Once they were gone, Lucifer turned around to face his brothers. They were chatting amongst themselves when all of a sudden his stomach growled. The next task at hand was to figure out dinner and how he would manage to feed all 7 of them. “Would any of you care to join me to find something for dinner to bring back?” Everyone nodded except for Levi, who was sitting on one of the couches in the entryway looking miserable. “Leviathan, how about you go to your room and have a bath?” The 3rd born glanced up at him and nodded weakly. “Okay. Bring me back something somewhat edible.” he said, getting up and heading for the staircase. “And not fish, either.” he added, looking pale. Lucifer chuckled. “Got it. As for the rest of you… Mammon, how about you come along with me. Beel, Belphie, Asmo and Satan, you stay here and relax for a bit.”

***

Levi’s room was well, to put it one way, unique. As if there weren’t enough surprises in store for him, the plain walls and ceiling were magically transformed into a giant fish tank. He had a feeling that Diavolo set it up that way for him knowing he would choose it. After having his powers assessed, his form is very much like a serpent or sea creature, so he found that being surrounded by water is very soothing. Levi stood in the center of his new bedroom, taking in the gentle sounds of flowing water from the tank. He could feel himself beginning to relax, the anxiety from the day beginning to lift from his shoulders. “Diavolo, thank you so much…” he whispered to himself. He made his way to his bathroom, and almost cried at the sight of the bathtub. He quickly turned on the faucet, and stripped his way out of his clothes. As he waited for the water in the bath to warm up slightly, he couldn’t help but glance at himself in the large mirror above the sink. He hadn’t fully taken in his demon form since his fall, and he was still not quite used to it and the effects it had on his body. He brought a hand up to touch his neck, feeling the delicate, aquamarine scales and the grooves of his gills hidden underneath. Levi shivered at the feel of them, dropping his hand to his side. His amber eyes filled with tears as he glanced down at himself. While his wounds were pretty much healed from his fall, some scars still remain etched into his skin as a reminder for his sins. He had also immediately noticed some obvious changes to his body in this form from the beginning, and he found that he was honestly quite disgusted with himself. Who could ever love me when I look like this? He thought. The burning in his neck was enough to pull him from his negative thoughts and he finally stepped into the bath. He sighed in relief as he sank down into the water. After soaking for a couple of minutes, the burning subsided. He leaned his head back and allowed his eyes to close.

He woke up to knocking on the bathroom door. “Levi, are you okay in there? Dinner is here.” It was Lucifer’s voice. “Y-Yeah, just don’t come in! I’ll be down in a sec!” he called, water splashing out of the tub as he quickly attempted to cover himself just in case his brother felt like barging in. “It’s fine, just come down whenever you’re ready.” Lucifer said. He sounds tired, Levi thought. He felt a pang of sadness in his chest as he got out of the tub. He knew his brothers were each dealing with their own issues regarding their new forms as well as still mourning the loss of their sister. Once again, tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t allowed himself to think much about the loss of Lilith. He wasn’t ready to accept it yet. Shaking his head, he quickly got dressed again and made his way back downstairs to the dining room. “Finally Levi! Did ya shrivel up in there? Get over here I'm starvin’.” Mammon said, opening up one of the many take-out containers lining the table. Levi was thankful it was only burgers this time since he was still getting a taste for Devildom food. At least he hadn’t audibly gagged like Asmo did once at Diavolo’s castle. He smiled to himself, remembering how upset Lucifer had gotten at him, as it reminded him of the old times together in the Celestial Realm. The room was silent as they all dug into their meals. Everyone was exhausted from the day, and were anxious to retreat to their rooms. Lucifer finally broke the silence, clearing his throat. “As you all know, Diavolo is coming back over tomorrow to tell us about the Academy he expects us to attend.” They all glanced up at him, still chewing their food. Levi studied his elder brother’s face as he continued. He had dark bags under his eyes, and his crimson eyes were devoid of any real emotion as he continued, “So I would suggest that you all go get ready for bed after you finish eating.” he said. No one argued with him, more than likely they noticed the state Lucifer was in as well. Suddenly, they all began to hear a soft snoring coming from the end of the table. They all glanced down to see Belphie with his head down in his fries, his burger only half eaten. Levi followed the rest of his brothers as they snickered. Even Lucifer laughed, which he could hardly believe. He hasn’t heard his older brother truly laugh in quite some time. “Someone take him to bed, already.” he said, chuckling. Beel got up from the table and lifted his twin brother into his arms. “I got him. Since we’re sharing a room, I guess we’ll both be heading to bed. Good night everyone.” he said as he headed out of the dining room. “Oh, and save his leftovers in case he gets hungry in the middle of the night.”

Levi yawned as his other brothers began to file out of the dining room. He and Mammon were the last to leave since they stayed to help clean up. “Ya feelin’ better Levi?” he asked as they began to head upstairs. Levi nodded, giving him a weak smile. “Yeah, a little. I didn’t realize how much of a toll my demon form took on me.” Mammon hummed in agreement. “I feel that. I can’t control mine from takin’ over either so don’t go feelin’ bad or nothin’, okay?” Levi couldn’t help but glance up at the twisted horns that were now poking through his brother’s snowy white hair. He also noticed his wings on his lower back that drooped behind him as he walked, the material of the shirt he was wearing now torn and frayed where they had ripped through. He’s obviously seen Mammon’s form plenty of times now since their fall, but this was the first time he was really taking it in. “Thanks, Mammon. I appreciate that.” he said, fidgeting with his hands. Mammon patted him on the back. “Don’t mention it, I um. I want to try and be there for you guys more.” he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. “Well, here’s your stop.” Levi glanced back up to see they were already at his room. “Thanks. Goodnight, Mammon. And u-um, I’m here for you too. Y-You know. In case you need anything. ” he stuttered, glancing away from Mammon’s golden gaze. Laughing, Mammon reached out and messed up Levi’s own hair. “H-Hey!” he protested. “Goodnight, little bro.” Mammon said, hurrying down the hallway as Levi called after him, “I’m not that much younger than you, you know!”

*** Levi had fallen asleep in his bathtub. He didn’t know why, but something about the tall, porcelain walls were extremely comforting to him. It’s as if they were keeping him safe. Confined. Hidden from the dark, unfamiliar territory of the Devildom. He stretched awake, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He hadn’t been awoken by any knocks on his door, so he figured it was still pretty early. Getting up out of his tub, he headed out of the bathroom and into his room. It felt so…empty. The bare walls that weren’t taken up by the fish tank were staring back at him, begging to be covered. Back in the Celestial Realm, they weren’t allowed to indulge in any sort of personal decor in their rooms, as it was a sign of materialism which was considered to be a Sin. In a way, he felt a sort of relief wash over him at the fact that he had the freedom to decorate his new space anyway he wanted. But what do I even like anymore? He wondered, biting his lower lip. Back in the Celestial Realm, he did indulge in some hobbies from the Human World, but he was always forbidden from pursuing them. He’s always possessed the tendency to hyperfixate and go a little overboard and he tried his best to keep that to himself.

The tile floor was cold on his bare feet as he approached his bedroom door. He paused when he heard the sound of yelling coming from somewhere in the house. Quickly, he yanked open his door and ran out into the hallway. “Lucifer?!” he yelled, running in the direction of where the voices were coming from. One was definitely his eldest brother’s voice, and he could hear the sound of something crashing and hitting the floor. The sounds took him into the kitchen, where he saw Lucifer in his demon form and a very pissed off looking Satan. He shivered, feeling the heavy tension in the air. “Fuck you, Lucifer!” the little blonde boy yelled, baring his fangs. Levi’s eyes widened, unsure of where his little brother learned that sort of word. Probably spending too much time around Mammon, he thought. His older brother did have quite the foul mouth lately. “That will be enough out of you, Satan.” Lucifer snarled, his lip curling in disgust. Levi glanced between them and noticed an entire pan of what appeared to be scrambled eggs on the ground. “W-What is going on here?” Levi said, nervously. Lucifer whipped around at the sound of his voice. “Your brother decided he didn’t want eggs for breakfast.” Satan let out a low growl, his barbed tail lashing back and forth behind him. “You guys aren’t my brothers.” Levi took a step forward, holding his hands up and preparing himself to transform if need be. “Hey Satan, wait-” Before he could finish his sentence, Satan took off from the kitchen wiping his tear filled eyes. Lucifer sighed and began to pick up the eggs off the floor. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about him. I’m sorry if we woke you, Levi.” The Avatar of Envy shook his head. “I-I was up already…Um…Where did we get the eggs?” He asked, wanting to avoid talking about the incident with Satan. Lucifer glanced at the fridge. “Apparently the Little D’s left us some basic ingredients.” Levi nodded, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Want to help? I’d rather get breakfast over with before Diavolo and Barbatos arrive.” Together, they got to work on making a new batch of eggs, as well as frying some bacon while Levi handled toast and drinks.

Levi almost dropped the glass he was pouring juice into when he heard Lucifer begin to hum behind him. He recognized the tune immediately; He used to sing the lullaby to him and his younger brothers when they were scared, usually from some sort of nightmare that plagued their dreams in the middle of the night. Levi smiled softly as he remembered going into Lucifer’s room one night to already see the Twins being comforted by him. They did share the same dreams sometimes, so it only made sense that both of them were there. Speaking of the Twins, at some point Beel must have entered the kitchen, lured in by the smell of food cooking. “Good morning Beel. Help us set the table, breakfast is almost ready.” Lucifer said. Beel nodded enthusiastically. “Sure, it smells delicious.” As the three of them continued to get the table set for breakfast, the rest of the brothers began to trickle in, all except for Satan. “Hey Lucifer, um.. What about Satan?” Levi whispered as they stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Lucifer shook his head. “He’ll come down when he’s ready. Or hungry enough.” Lucifer cleared his throat, catching the attention of the other 4 brothers. “Now the rest of you, eat up. Diavolo and Barbatos will be arriving soon.”

#my posts #cass writes #to ascend again #obey me fic #obey me fanfiction #obey me writing #obey me brothers #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me! shall we date #obey me! one master to rule them all

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brasideios · 1 year ago

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A Moment of Reflection

With my writing, I keep a log of the hours I work, on what, and my word count at the end of each day. I sometimes write quite extensively about the details of what I did that day, and sometimes it's just 'worked on chapter 2' or whatever.

This is useful for many reasons, but mostly giving me a sense of movement when I'm working on long fics (which is most of the time) - there's an element of slog at a certain point, and any means of appreciating progress is something I really need to keep going. I can't recommend this to writers of long fic enough.

Anyway, I haven't been recording my gentle writing exercises in the log, which I began in the middle of June out of sheer desperation, but I've been pretty good with it, though as predicted, some days it's little more than a line.

It really does help though. It got me thinking about what I wanted to write, even though I could hardly do it at the time. It made me start turning new ideas and stories over in my mind - and, though the scenes weren't supposed to be connected at all, they have (inevitably) become part of an overall long narrative that I'm now (finally) able to write.

I think when I posted about starting that exercise, I really didn't give any sense of how bad my block was. I may've missed recording a few days because I'm erratic with journals sometimes, but (not counting the exercises) I've worked something like 32 days since the beginning of March. 10 days since the beginning of May. 6 of those days were this month.

With the exception of this month, the days when I did work were difficult. I wasn't writing with any kind of flow. I was revisiting old pieces and editing, mainly. The last time I wrote something entirely new, longer than a single scene, was the middle of February.

I'm saying all this here for two reasons:

To assure anyone struggling with a serious block that it will end, but also that even if you feel really resistant to it, it can help to do small exercises to keep the creative hearth fire burning. The key is gentleness. I honestly believe that even thinking about writing counts as a writing exercise. Set a reminder on your phone and every day ask yourself 'What would I write today, if I could write?' Maybe on better days you could jot a few notes about whatever pops into your head. That's totally valid as an exercise.

But also putting this here as a reminder to myself. When I'm inevitably at my own fireplace again, lamenting that it's gone out forever, maybe I'll recall that the darn thing hasn't ever gone out - I just can't see it burning from where I'm sitting.

#writeblr #writing advice #writers block #jpdoingwords #behold the field in which i cultivate my vibes #they are filled with optimism once more so why not share it

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suhmingo · 8 months ago

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TL;DR

Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Part 2 ain’t bout this, Part 2 ain’t bout that My boy a fraud on fuckin Gege and them He, he they say that he don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Part 2 ain’t no hitta Part 2 ain’t this Part f a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with Part 2. Y'all know that Part 2 had AQUARIUM ARC, Fighting at the Karaoke and shit. Fujimoto been on no assistant since fuckin… I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them devils savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about CSM Part 2 I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more

In my opinion, Chainsaw Man is going through an evolution. Not an awesome Pokemon evolution (Or digivolution, those are cooler.) But a slower evolution, with all the growing pains that come with it. Many have noticed how “slow” recent arcs have been, or how bad the fights have become. And to be fair, the Quanxi ones are kind of ass if you’re looking for a fight fix. But I will go to bat against basically every other complaint and critique of the pacing, the characterization, and the theming. I think the best way I would describe the pacing is as methodical, or more apropos to my argument, literary.

Now I’m not gonna sit here and say that Jane Austen’s planning the story of Chainsaw Man. To my knowledge, there are no pinups of Elizabeth Bennett anywhere in the book, but I do think that there has been a shift in terms of how the story is told and how much detail it does it in, pushing closer to that of a more detailed plot structure and planning than the fast, weekly pace of a traditional battle manga.

Compared to CSM Part One, CSM Part Two is trying to tell a slower, intricate story with a more human element, rather than the fast, succinct, hard-hitting style that Part One embodied. Where the growing pains fit in is that very change in style is hard to get used to, both for the author and audience. The biggest challenge is that it’s difficult to portray methodical storytelling when on 18-20 manga pages a week, and that the Manga medium as a whole is restrictive in terms of how slow you can and likely should take things. Actually, it just seems pretty restrictive in general.

Part One is a very utilitarian story for most of the first half. There’s exist a devil(s) trying to kill Denji, forcing everyone to work together to beat them, secondary characters die, the villain gets Chainsawed, and by the end of it we get Denji feeling more complex emotions. There are core subplots such as Makima’s mask faltering, and/or Aki or Power breaking down or maturing respectively, but those generally feed back into Denji’s growth. Characters, however developed, live and die based on the completion of their arc or the perspective they bring to the story, and no longer than that. Even Reze, a beloved cutie-pie, has her core arc within 14 chapters. Point is, it’s simple story, and that simplicity allows the bulk of it to be told through action.

Finally, Denji and co have their entire stories resolved within 97 chapters. To put that in perspective, that’s where something like the Arlong Arc Ends, and that’s not even halfway through JJK’s Shibuya Incident. Part one is very much a sprint, with the talent showcase being how well-crafted the story is at that very same pace. It really is a testament to the writing quality of how dense that story feels in that short of a time.

That isn’t to say I’d want that again though. One of the most important aspects of any continuation is to not only progress the story, but also how the story is told. Now that there are established elements to a story, it is a good idea from the creator’s perspective to push the boundaries of what is already established. You could do more of the same, but in my opinion that isn’t as stimulating or fruitful long term. That’s where I think Part Two thrives.

Whereas Part One was more focused on characters realizing the goal they want to achieve and reaching a baseline level of human decency, Part Two is more focused on the struggle of maintaining that humanity in an oppressive and equally depressing world. It’s inherently a meatier concept to explore and requires fewer fights and more introspection. For my two cents, I think Part Two is pretty fantastic at this in the long run, but at the same time the week-to-week chapter focus of Part Two means we as an audience will spend far more time digesting and analyzing the setup compared to an explosive fight scene. I think that’s where the bulk of the frustration comes from with part 2, it’s progressing themes and complexity, but it’s hard to fit that within week-to-week chapters without sacrificing something there before, in this case being the fights.

For starters, there are considerably more subplots and mysteries than in Part One. To name a few, there are:

- Yoshida’s allegiance to Public Safety and has own personal end goals

- Denji’s role as a roommate/big bro/parent to Nayuta, and how that affects his personal goals and future

- Denji’s internal conflict with being Chainsaw Man, it’s future, and what it represents (Which I think is meta-commentary, but that’s for another day.)

- Asa’s internal conflict with herself and Yoru, but mostly herself as well as her desire to be loved/admired.

- Nayuta’ purpose in life as the control Devil and how that comes into conflict with her bond with Denji

- Makima’s lasting influence on Denji mirrored in the form of characters like Fami, Barem, and Nayuta.

- The shipping wars I never thought would show up

- Fami. Just Fami.

- WILL DENJI GET LAID???

That’s probably a non-exhaustive list of general questions that are still up in the air and concurrently being explored. The story has gone from being a subversive battle manga with dramatic themes of existentialism, desire, and love to a drama about existentialism, desire, and love with battle manga elements. There’s a lot more focus on thematic cohesion, whole chapters are now given to exploring a character’s state of mind over plot progression. Part One had its downtime, yes. But I don’t think it had nearly as much internal cringing as Asa has had (To be fair, I don’t think any character ever internally cringe fests as much as Asa does). You need that downtime in an introspective story, hell I’d say that’s the uptime, but it’s very against the grain in what came up as a more mature battle manga, so much so that it feels like tonal whiplash to do so.

It’s easy to see that there’s a lot more setup to an arc before it gets to the payoff. For most of the plot threads listed above, we haven’t even gotten a proper payoff in the chapters we’ve had, something that would have been unheard of in part one. At this point in Part One, we would have been nearing the end game, with the development of the story and cast clearly indicating that.

Furthermore, these conflicts aren’t nearly as “cleanly” resolved as the Part One conflicts, at least as clean as anything involving chainsaw combat can be. The punchline of much of Chainsaw Man’s early arcs comes from the dismal world being undercut by a horny, ADHD-laced, solipsistic teenager's ability to 1v1 most problems. Most of the problems grow increasingly difficult to just Denji them, growing in complexity until the conflicts become more abstract. Something like Denji vs. Reze can be realistically resolved within a fight since they’re goals and objectives make sense to come into conflict. Less so for Denji vs “Gun Fiend” since we all know how well that went down. As things progress, Denji can’t slice his way through consoling Power, nor can Pochita’s powers help him cut through his trauma and self-reflection.

That’s the jumping point Part 2 develops from. None of Denji nor Asa nor Nayuta are able to literally fight their way into achieving their goals. This is a stark contrast for Denji particularly since most of Part 1 has the ostensible goal of “Kill this and I’ll let you get to X Base with me,” which is never actually a resolution to his problems. The end of part one and almost all of part two so far has been focused on conflicts which can’t be meaningfully resolved through a fight. The end of the world is not the final boss of these characters, that only serves to contextualize and add weight to their need to solve their own problems. The characters as we see them are mature enough to identify the problems that hold them back, but not mature enough to actually see them through or see clearly in the moment.

That stuff just needs time to sit and simmer, it’s as simple as that. That’s where the action is going. Fujimoto has to show how much Nayuta means to Denji and Vice Versa, he has to show Asa’s growing feelings for Denji against the wishes of both Yoru and her own ego, and so on and so forth. Notice how most of the villains plans aren’t just simply “Kill chainsaw man” (I think the only exception is like Yoru) They tend to be more complex than that. They either want to evangelize Chainsaw Man or silence his influence. That all needs time to unravel too.

With that much going on, it’s considerably harder to get satisfying moments chapter to chapter. So many things have to be established, developed, put into conflict, that the story cannot go nearly as fast as it did in part one. The writing goes far slower to accommodate these things, but the weekly chapters don’t. They still remain in the 18-20 pages that you come to expect. For that reason, we’re left more time salivating until we reach a conclusion that could be chapters away, and even then that conclusion could just be a setup for a later arc. It’s a much bigger story with more ambition to me, something that you’d see like in a regular sized novel.

But course CSM Isn’t a novel, it’s a serialized shonen with all the prerequisites and industry pressure that comes with it.

It’s no secret that the Manga Industry is cutthroat. It’s basically luck whether your story picks up steam or not (JJK was almost canceled at like Chapter 4, for a recent example.) And once you make it, you have to perform at that same level, with the expectation that you’ll continually improve both your quality and numbers, but mostly the numbers. So it’s only natural that the level of quality of the story is going to dwindle at times. So when chapters are bad, it’s not simply because of sloth or laziness. When deadlines are that tight and success is measured in numbers, it’s a testament to the creativity of many an author that these things even get made at all. Hell, the fact that CSM manages to have such intriguing characters and thematic depth is indicative of the writing chops that ol’ Fuji has.

When I think of it like that, it’s easy to see why Fujimoto would prefer to write than to draw. As a writer, I can definitely say writing isn’t a fast art form (At all.) but I at the very least don’t have to worry about drawing the writing in my head week to week, while also trying to appease longtime reader’s desire for action. You can more quickly explore the ideas that you want to explore by putting words on a page. You want to kill a character it’s as as easy as writing “And then the dagger plunged into their heart.” Ok Ideally it’s a lot better than my asstastic writing, but the point is the same. It’s just one of the more reflexive art forms out there.

That’s kind of all I had to say. Hopefully we can all move on to more productive things, preferably within the hour. Thanks for reading.

#chainsaw man #analysis

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uknowyato · 2 years ago

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Hatori Yoshiyuki no baai volume 1: chapter 1

This is a repost from my old blog. Old chapters will be coming every Thursday until I catch up. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer:‌‌ ‌‌I‌ ‌do‌ ‌not‌ ‌own‌ ‌Sekaiichi‌ ‌Hatsukoi,‌ Hatori Yoshiyuki no baai ‌and the characters within the stories. Please support Shungiku Nakamura by purchasing the official emerald releases. Thank you!

Raw cre‌dits go to the lovely youmeandteddybears ‌on tumblr

DO NOT REPOST THIS OR SHARE WITH ANYONE ELSE.

Vera, Cammie, Rose and Isaac I love you so much <3 <3

It was late December, and the world was enveloped in the spirit of Christmas. Hymns and Christmas songs were being sung here and there, and the lights that decorated the streets were gorgeous. The products on display in the stores were also in line with the season, and they were crowded with customers choosing gifts for friends and family. Although it had become much colder in the past few days, today was a relatively pleasant day. There was no wind even after dark, so it was perfect for walking outside.

It’s a perfect day for a date…

Looking up at the twinkling stars in the sky, his thoughts went to the meeting and interview he went to in Yokohama today. Since he was walking around the city with his lover, he supposed he could call it a date.

Hatori Yoshiyuki was thirty years old. Ever since he joined a publishing company called Marukawa Shoten and was assigned to the girls' manga editing department, he had been a dedicated editor.

He was not particularly interested in becoming an editor. However, since seeing his childhood friend, who had been drawing and submitting manga since he was a child, win a rookie award and make his debut, Hatori became interested in the publishing industry. He was quite happy when he passed through the narrow gate of publishing companies and got a job offer.

A publishing company was not just a place where editors work.

Between a publishing company and your average company, there was no difference in terms of human resources, general affairs, and sales. So he thought that there might be a job that he could do.

When he entered the company and was assigned to the editorial department, he was a little worried, but surprisingly, the job seemed to suit him. Of course, it didn't mean that everything always went okay.

There were times when he had trouble with work, and there were times when he had trouble with personal relationships.

However, he had gained a good amount of experience and achievements, and now he was in charge of sub-editing a girls’ manga magazine called "Monthly Emerald.”

"This month's progress has been amazing. I haven't seen it this good in years.”

"Do you know when the usual deadline is? Some of the authors are already almost finished.”

The reason Yoshino wasn’t in a dire situation was because, as he said, they usually had plenty of time to get things done. He was in the process of putting in the rough sketches, but from the looks of Yoshino, things were going well.

Yoshino was the type of person who took longer to pick a name than to make a plot.

Even after it was completed, Yoshino would go over it several times, rework it, and then ask for feedback. Hatori's job was to give him his rough and frank opinions. Whether the story was funny or not, he told them straight.

Of course, every writer responded differently.

Some writers, like Yoshino, thrived on being clearly told what to do, while others were more suited to theoretical and detailed pointers.

“I know what you mean. I do things at my own pace!”

“I’m going to die because of your pace.”

“Uh…I’m sorry…But! This time, things are going well.”

Yoshino had a big mouth and said many things as he struck his chest. He must have a lot of self-confidence to say that much.

"If you get carried away like that, isn't it going to be hard to make up for it in the end?”

“Since I’m doing so well, don't you think I should be praised for it?”

“Alright then. I'll believe you when I see it. I'm counting on you.”

“Leave it to me!”

Even if things were going well between the two of them, you never know when things might start looking bleak. The trick was to take Yoshino's big talk with a grain of salt. It was essential to be prepared in case there was a delay.

"Oh, Tori, wait a minute. I'm going to take some pictures there too!”

"Hey, Yoshino! Don't run, you'll bump into someone.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful!”

Hatori watched the back of his lover, Yoshino, as he ran off. He couldn’t help but feel his mouth slacken at the sight of his back, but remembering that he was outside, his face quickly tightened.

“Yoshikawa Chiharu” was Hatori’s childhood friend, along with being the author he was in charge of. It was a little over a year ago when they were able to add another category to their relationship.

After a long period of unrequited love, they were finally able to become lovers. But he still regretted that he got desperate and hurted Yoshino.

He had done something that could have ruined their relationship. Oddly enough however, instead of getting angry, Yoshino had forgiven him.

His generosity was something that was truly unmatched.

He was a very easygoing person but shouldn’t have forgiven him so easily. At the beginning of their relationship, he couldn’t help but feel that something was wrong. Yoshno didn’t show it on his face, but he could sense it.

If he was being honest, there were times when he wondered if he would wake up from this convenient dream at the drop of a hat. One day it may come to an end, but until then, he was going to hold on to this happiness.

Even if the day was to come when Hatori would have to put an end to it, he had experienced so much happiness. Hatori would not have any regrets if he were to wake up from his dream.

If I were to tell Yoshino this, he would be appalled at my negative thinking.

Hatori smiled at his own thoughts. Of course, he wanted to stay with Yoshino for the rest of his life. As long as he was allowed to be by his side, he wouldn't leave. However, he had a desire for that and Yoshino’s happiness.

But there was another thing.

If by chance, Hatori's existence became a burden or had a negative effect on Yoshino, he had every intention of leaving him. It would be a punishment for himself.

“Wait a minute,” Yoshino quickly returned, with a camera in his hands.

He would be turning thirty in a few months, but he was still restless. He was curious about everything and had lots of feelings. Many freelance people were of unknown age, and Yoshino fit the bill. With a baby face and big eyes, he also had a petite physique. When he was wearing casual clothing, he looked like a college student. When Hatori was with him, he felt like he was getting older.

“Did you take a good picture?”

“It's perfect! There was a really strange figurine in the storefront over there, and they let me take a picture of it.”

“Well…” Yoshino came back with a smile, showing him the picture on the camera monitor. He was happy to see it, and he wanted to take pictures of the background.

The single-lens reflex digital camera he was using now was a new one bought just the other day. Looking at the fact that he was using it quite well, he thought he must be using it often. He was passionate about escapism.

It was an old promise that he would improve what he did.

He recalled back in the day, Hatori had a hard time getting Yoshino to concentrate on his studies. There was not one textbook that didn’t have a doodle drawn inside of it.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here today. Would it have been better to take the pictures at a brighter time?”

It would have been better if he had arrived at an earlier time, but Hatori’s work dragged on which resulted in him being late.

It wasn’t as though he had any work he had to immediately complete, but Hatori took Yoshino’s word that he didn’t care he was late.

I know I have to keep my work life and personal life separate...

Perhaps it was because they have known each other for so long, his relationship with Yoshino caused that line to blur.

He had completed proofreading and had some spare time, but the detailed work kept stacking up and it ate up his time.

“These are good materials. The sky at night is beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Well, that’s good to know…”

“I was able to snap a picture of the Ferris wheel earlier. When it’s more empty, I want to get on the Ferris wheel and take a picture at the top, but two guys on a Ferris wheel at this time would stand out too much.”

“Oh, if you wanted to get on the ride, why did you say anything? I would have waited at the bottom”

At the time now, they should still be able to make it just in time. He was sure the night view would be more beautiful than earlier when the sun was almost down.

“You’re asking me to stand in a line alone filled with couples?!”

“I have a SLR, so I can carry it and get on while collecting data.”

Being in such a date spot with his lover could make them stand out like a sore thumb. However, the camera and notes in his hands certainly mitigates this.

“Absolutely not! Oh, Why don’t you stand there Tori?”

“Why would I do that?”

“You’re still wearing a suit, it looks like you’re still working.”

Hatori had to work until noon, so he was still wearing his suit and coat. He couldn’t help but think that they help him in the midst of working.

He was often told that he didn’t look like the average editor upon the first meeting. But, that was probably because he would wear a suit just like any other company.

When meeting with other companies, it wasn’t uncommon for him to be mistaken for someone in sales.

Editors don’t normally wear suits everyday.

Since being an editor was a relatively flexible job, everyone usually dressed in more casual clothing. Hatori would wear suits because of his own personal commitment.

When he put on his suit and fastened his tie, he felt more and more serious. For Hatori, the suit was his on and off switch and initially, he decided against wearing a suit, but realized he couldn’t keep it up for long.

He tried to keep work to a minimum, but when he found himself in a pinch, Hatori would take work home with him.

Even at home, he couldn’t help but look over the plots and storyboards from the authors he was in charge of. He would read through the materials and reach out to them when there was something in front of him that needed to be completed.

Even then, Hatori didn’t want to contact them on his days off. He would particularly refrain from communicating with the writers he was in charge of as much as possible.

The only exceptions to that were the writers with significant delays, and Yoshino.

"Hey, are you trying to make me do something I don’t want to do? I don’t know how to properly use this camera in the first place.”

If he was being honest, he didn’t want to handle such delicate equipment without first looking at the manual. He was sure he wouldn’t break it, but it would be disastrous if he deleted the photos Yoshino took today.

“No luck. Well, let’s come back on a free day. There won’t be so many people first thing in the morning on a weekday.”

“What’s with that face? Do you really not want to ride the Ferris wheel with me?”

“No, it’s not like that…” He was quite surprised that Yoshino agreed to go on a date with him.

...Does Yoshino even grasp this concept?

He would promise he would play the next time, just like when they were kids. That was all it must have been to him.

“Ah, Tori, stand right there.”

“Don’t move!”

“If you’re collecting background materials, wouldn’t it be better if people weren’t entering?”

From the way he was holding the camera, it seemed that Yoshino wanted to use Hatori as a model.

“It’s easier to draw the background with people in it when I can compare them to the characters.”

“....I understand.”

Hatori didn’t mind being photographed for collecting materials, but he didn’t like himself being photographed.

He didn’t know what kind of face he should make when Yoshino pointed the lens at him, plus he didn’t think the photograph would look good.

“You need to smile more.”

“That’s impossible.”

Since his mother loved events, he would have his picture taken from time to time until he became a senior. There were still many photo albums in his childhood home.

No matter at what age the photo was taken, Hatori’s facial expressions always remained the same. He was quite impressed at his lack of expression.

Most of the time, Yoshino, who was also in the pictures with him, was very expressive. Laughing, crying, pouting, etc. it made Hatori feel more unsociable.

“Move a little closer to the right.”

“Like this?”

"Don't just stand there with your whole body facing away from me, give off this feeling like we're meeting.”

“Don’t complain. I’m not a model.”

He sighed while Yoshino gave him detailed instructions. As much as he wanted to cooperate with him, he just couldn’t meet his high demands.

“Well then, how about you imagine you’re waiting for my late manuscript?”

Just by imagining what he just said, the frustration came flooding back. Though he knew that it was simply fabricated, that very feeling he had experienced countless times was very real.

Yoshino pointed and gave a drawn out laugh as he stared at his wrinkled eyebrows.

“...I’m sorry. I’ll leave you as is. Now, say cheese!” Yoshino adjusted the zoom and pressed the shutter button several times after his shout.

“Hurry up and finish it.”

Even though it was a weekday, every place was crowded with people on a Friday night.

Everytime the flash went off, it drew the attention of passersby. It was quite awkward seeing as everyone was looking at him, wondering what he was doing?

“Wait a minute while I take another picture.”

Yoshino moved to take another picture of Hatori from a different angle. Oddly enough, in his imagination, it seemed as though he was happy.

“That’s enough.”

“Yeah, thank you. This helped a lot.”

Hatori was relieved to be finally dismissed from his modeling duties.

“So, where to next?”

They found themselves nearing the station. He wasn’t aware of it, as they were occasionally stopping, but they must have been walking for several hours.

“Let’s go eat Chinese food! I'm just hungry. After all, if you're in Yokohama then you must get Chinese food.”

“Isn’t it a little early for dinner?”

It had been some time, but they still had a couple of hours before it was their normal dinner time.

“I’ve been to all of the places I wanted to go, took lots of pictures, so I think I’m done. It’s been a long time since I’ve walked this much and my legs are killing me.”

“You really should exercise more often. And didn’t you say you bought a meat bun and ate it? And didn’t you say you had a big meal before the meeting?”

Before meeting up with Hatori, Yoshino arrived early and wandered around aimlessly to kill time. He said that he had eaten lunch at a cafe that had recently opened.

In addition, the meat bun he bought on his way to the meeting was quite large, along with the hearty bite he took to sample it.

"I've already digested what I've eaten of the bun before I met up with you. Plus I have a dessert stomach.”

"Isn't that an expression you use when you want to eat something sweet…?"

"Don't worry about the details. You've only had one bite of the bun, you must be hungry.”

"Not that I'm hungry but…”

“Then it’s settled!” With that said, Yoshino pulled at Hatori’s arm enthusiastically.

“Hey, where are we going?”

“If I remember correctly, there’s this restaurant on the cross street that looked really good. I think it’s over here.”

“You’re good when it comes to these sorts of things…” He was good at taking photos and looking for great restaurants.

“I have a gourmet taste because I grew up with Tori’s cooking.”

“I don’t remember you growing up with that.”

The moment he corrected him, Yoshino laughed out loud. He didn’t know if it was because of that, but Yoshino seemed oddly excited.

Is it because he got hit with the Christmas spirit?

Confused by the change of the atmosphere, Hatori reluctantly followed Yoshino.

He stepped into the alleyway as if he was being dragged, Yoshino eyeing up a Chinese restaurant in front of him.

“Look, this place looks great doesn’t it?”

“Sure.”

As Yoshino said, it was a restaurant with a great ambiance to it. Hatori was rather amazed that he managed to catch sight of the sign in such a narrow alley.

When the two entered the store, they were greeted by a cheerful voice.

“Welcome.” The restaurant was small, but clean and quaint.

“A table for two?”

“Ah, yes.” As soon as they were shown to their seats, Yoshino pondered over the menu in his hands.

“Everything looks so amazingly good~”

“Keep it moderate.”

"I know. Ah, what will I order? Let’s see, stirred-fried shrimp in chili sauce, Peking duck and stirred-fried water spinach. Deep fried prawn wraps, xiaobo bao, juicy buns... Oh, please let me have the seafood soup.”

Yoshino ordered from every menu item that caught his eye.

"Are you sure you can eat that much?”

"That's about it for now. We can order dessert later, right?”

“You’re going to order more…?” Normally if Yoshino was hungry, he would feel a sense of uneasiness as he was picking up all kinds of food.

"Don't worry. We'll eat together.”

“I'm hoping it's…”

While he was reasonably hungry, he thought it’d be better to be prepared today. Hatori tightened his tie a little and sipped the tea that was offered to him.

“Are you going to finish your work by the 27th?”

“Yes I will.”

“What are you going to do this year?”

“Well, my mom and dad are going to spend New Year's Eve at a hot spring, so I'm going home after the New Year.”

Every end of the year, Hatori would usually return home to help with cleaning and make *Osechi Ryori with his mother.

"I see. I think I'll go back at the end of the year too~. I have to work on my manuscript, and if I slack off at my parents' house, they'll nag me.”

“You don’t have to slack off.”

“But, you know there’s not much to do at home.”

“Really? Then maybe you can come spend time helping me clean up.”

“...I knew you’d say that. I’d rather clean my room than clean my parent’s home.”

“You’re right. I should polish every nook and cranny of my home myself at least once a year.”

He wouldn't go so far as to call it a dirty house, but Yoshino's room was terrible.

The kitchen and dining room were always neat and tidy, as Hatori defended it, and Yoshino was dying to clean up his work room before he called in his female assistants.

However, the walk-in closet called the library was piled high with manga and materials. Lately, what he couldn’t fit in there was starting to invade his bedroom.

“You vacuum sometimes!”

"I do that on occasion. You should sort your mangas. And I was wondering why the windows were fogging up. Give me one day free before the end of the year and I'll help you, get rid of the large mangas.”

“Ser~iously…”

“You know I don’t owe you any help, right?”

“Oh, sorry! I’ll do my very best.” Glaring at him, Yoshino straightened his back. While he was making plans in his head for the cleaning, the food he had ordered was brought to the table.

“I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Here you go, seafood soup, *xiaolongbao, and fried water spinach.”

"Wow, that looks delicious!” Feeling uncomfortable, Yoshino quickly changed the subject.

In truth, the aroma coming from the freshly steamed xiao long bao stimulated Hatori’s appetite. Saliva started to well up in his mouth.

“Ah, I'm going to eat it. Ah, it's hot...it’s delicious! Tori, eat it quickly before it gets cold.”

“Oh.”

He put the piping hot xiaolongbao aside for later and took a sip of the seafood soup. The soup gradually began to permeate within his cold body, and the fried water spinach was so chewy he couldn’t stop eating it.

All the dishes that came one after another were delicious. For a while, the two concentrated on eating the meal in silence.

Yoshino, who was eating the chili prawns that came later, suddenly stopped eating.

“What’s wrong?”

"It's really good, but I like your shrimp chili better. What's the difference?”

“I guess your tongue is just used to it.”

“I guess that's how it is. There are so many delicious foods in the world, but I don't think I could survive without Tori's cooking.”

He looked at Yoshino, trying to suppress his agitation at his casual remark. He tried to reply in a casual way.

“You’re exaggerating.”

“It’s true.”

“Flattery won’t get you an extension for the deadline.”

The reason he couldn’t give a straight answer was partly because of his shy personality, but it was also because he had a crush on him for so long that he tried to hide his feelings from him.

He wondered if one day he would be able to "flirt" with him like other lovers do.

He might call me gross…

He tried to imagine it, and raised his eyebrows at the uncomfortable feeling.

"Hey, is your phone ringing?”

“Looks like it.”

He was rather upset that he didn't notice the incoming call on his cell phone. It must have been a work-related call. Since he was in a “meeting with an author”, he would just call them back later.

Just to be sure, he took out his cell phone from his pocket and raised his eyebrows at the name on the display.

The caller was Nakahara, a new writer who had started working with him a while ago.

What’s going on?

She was currently in her sophomore year of college, and Hatori was assigned to her because she won the Rookie of the Year Award.

After her award-winning work was published, she aimed to complete her second work. This was the first time she and her editor, Hatori, had worked together on a story from the ground up.

The plot was OK’ed a few days ago, and he believed she was working on the storyboard now.

She told him that she would let him check it when it was finished, but Hatori was in no particular hurry. He was sure she knew that.

Even so, the fact that she was calling him on the cell phone he had given her for emergencies suggests that she may be in some kind of trouble.

There have been many times in the past when he had been asked to help an author who was in trouble.

No matter how well prepared you are, unexpected misfortune can strike on any given day. A leak in the apartment building can destroy the physical manuscript, data on your PC can blow up, or you could fall ill with the flu just before the deadline.

The important thing was to make sure you have enough time to get things done and to take care of things without panicking. As long as you keep those two points in mind, most things would work out.

“Is it from the company?”

"No, an author.”

“Maybe it's that newbie again?”

“……Yeah.”

He told Yoshino that he was going to be in charge of the rookie, just to keep him in the loop.

This was not the first time she had contacted him when they were alone. What was different was that it was a phone call, not an email.

The fact that she didn’t stop calling him may indicate that she was in a desperate situation.

“Sorry, it might be an emergency. I'll be out in a minute.”

“Hatori here.” When he turned on his phone, he heard a nervous voice.

“Um, it’s Nakahara!"

“What’s wrong?”

“I'm working on a storyboard right now, but I'm having trouble with it, so I was hoping Hatori-san could give me some feedback. I called your editorial department, but they said you were out of the office, so I had to call you here.”

“Are you asking about the storyboard?”

"Yes! Yes, I'm confused about-”

“You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?” He softly interrupted Nakahara’s words to confirm.

“Huh? Ah, yes.”

“I'm sorry. I'm having a meeting outside, so I'll call you back.”

He would love to consult with her, but he was out with Yoshino. His mood was half private, but as the writer in charge, he couldn’t make Yoshino wait any longer.

“Oh, I'm sorry! I hope you didn't mind that I called you for advice. It didn't work out and I got anxious. I'll think about it a little more on my own.”

“There's no need to rush. There's still time, so let's take it slow.”

“Hatori-san…” When he said that gently, Nakahara seemed to calm down a little.

“Can you please send me an email with the part you need help with? That would be great.”

"Okay, I'll email it to you right away.”

“Thank you very much. I'll call you back from the office on Monday.”

“Huh, Monday...?”

He could hear the disappointment in her voice. He understood the desire to move on quickly, but Hatori was simply a company employee.

In that sense, I'm too soft on Yoshino.

It didn’t matter if it was the weekend or a long vacation. He would do anything for Yoshino. In a way, he guessed you could say that he was driven by his own selfish desires.

Hatori didn’t indulge him when it came to work, but when it came to other things, he usually listened to him because he wanted to see Yoshino's happy face.

“I’m sorry. The company is closed on the weekends.”

"Oh, yes, of course! Well, I'll be waiting for your call.”

“Then, excuse me.”

He hung up the phone and let out a breath. He had planned to return to Yoshino immediately, but it took him a while to end the call.

It had been quite a while since he had been in charge of a rookie.

At first, she seemed wary of Hatori, who didn't seem like a typical editor, but gradually she came to approve of him.

Or rather, does she cherish me?

Of course, it was good that she was willing to talk to him about her problems, and Hatori was willing to think about and solve them with her.

However, he felt as though their contact was a bit too frequent. If he gave the OK for one thing and moved on, he was immediately asked for advice again for the next thing.

Well, I guess that's the way it is in the beginning…

He didn’t think there was any artist who didn’t worry about how his or her work would be perceived by others.

Yoshino, who had been an author for almost ten years, was both happy and sad to receive fan letters and awards.

In fact, the pressure may be greater now that he has become an established and successful writer.

He thought the job of an editor was to steer the ship, so to speak.

Of course, as a commercial work, they order the colors to match the published colors. Hatori asked the writers to show their individuality within that framework.

As the editor in charge, he would give his advice and offer ideas when necessary, but he cannot dictate every step of the way.

The reason why she asked Hatori for his opinion on everything was probably because she felt insecure. He understood the desire to seek someone’s approval.

However, if everything was done in accordance with the editor’s opinion, the work would no longer be her own. He wanted to lighten her nervousness.

Nakahara was a skillful artist who had lots of talent. Her prize-winning work was published and was very well received. He thought she had a lot of room to grow, but the problem was that she lacked confidence.

For Hatori, who had no interest in drawing, just being able to create a story from scratch was a great talent. He had been doing everything well since he was a child, but in other words, he was average at everything.

Since he didn’t have any outstanding talents or inspiration, he had to do what he could do.

Throughout his life, he had rarely been so obsessed with something that he forgot who he was. That had helped him to develop an objective viewpoint.

Fortunately, he felt that this perspective had been put to good use in his current line of work. He was trying to calmly judge how he could better convey the goodness of his work, but when it came to Yoshino, everything was an exception.

Even before he realized he was in love with him, Hatori’s world revolved around him, and after he realized it, the symptoms became even more severe.

Now that they were lovers, it was nearly impossible to look at their relationship objectively.

He tried to think as calmly as he could, but the negative part of him got bigger and he only thought about the bad things.

I can’t help myself it seems...

It was difficult to control his romantic feelings with reason. If he was in a position to give himself advice, he would tell himself to calm down.

It had been said since ancient times that love made people go crazy, and Hatori was no exception to that rule.

When he returned to the table, Yoshino, who had been in a good mood earlier, was now in a bad mood, drinking sake.

“I’m sorry, I’m late.”

“No problem. I’m working.”

“You ordered a drink?”

“You didn't come back, so I thought I'd have a drink alone.”

Yoshino usually doesn’t drink much alcohol outside the house. Today, however, he was gulping down a bottle of *Shaoxing wine.

He had never been so pissed off about Hatori sitting on the phone for work, and he knew the contents of Hatori's work better than anyone.

“So, are you okay?”

“Yeah, she wanted to talk about the storyboard to me, so I called her back.”

“She went through the trouble of calling you to ask about the storyboard?” Yoshino seemed to become annoyed when he explained the situation.

“I guess she got impatient because she couldn't do what she wanted. She called the editorial department and they told her I was on, so she called me."

“Hmmm.” Yoshino continued to eat in silence with an unamused look on his face.

He wasn’t sure what to make of that. He knew from experience that leaving Yoshino alone in a situation like this could be troublesome later on.

“What are you angry about?”

“I'm not mad at you." Yoshino replied to Hatori's question without hesitation and gulped down the wine.

“I'm not even mad at you.”

“I'm sorry I left my seat.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It's your job.”

“Then why did you...?” The waitress put an end to their argument with her words.

“May I bring you some dessert?"

“Oh, yes, please.”

“Are you sure you can eat that much?”

“I told you, I'm fine. I ordered one for you, so don't leave any behind.”

“......"

Yoshino seemed to have changed his mind and was happily eating the Almond jelly that was brought to him. If he pursued him further, it would only lead to more trouble. Deciding that, Hatori also silently reached for the spoon.

As if his previous moodiness had been a lie, Yoshino was as normal as ever after leaving the restaurant. In fact, the tension seemed to have risen somewhat.

....Come to think of it, I wonder what he'll do for Christmas this year?

Christmas Eve was in a few days. They hadn't talked about how they would spend it, but they didn’t do anything special every year.

Christmas was a day for Yoshino to eat chicken and cake. If Hatori put a big pile of french fries on it, he would be overjoyed.

It wasn’t that they hadn’t spent time alone together, but that was before they started dating. And so far Hatori had been working his butt off on work that he was behind on, or being interrupted by Yanase.

Bad memories came flooding back…

Hatori put the not-so-pleasant memories out of his mind and composed himself.

No promises meant business as usual. If he went to Yoshino's house with a gift, Hatori would probably spend the night.

Since this year’s progress wasn’t urgent, there wasn't any assistance coming in and out and Yanase was stuck at *Seinenshi sensei’s place.

“Well then. Go to bed early and don’t stay up late. Good luck with tomorrow’s manuscript.”

“……”

For some reason, Yoshino didn’t try to step out even though Hatori tried to see him off on the road to his home. On the contrary, he picked and held Hatori’s coat.

“Yoshino?”

Yoshino’s slightly red cheeks were looking down. It didn’t look like he was drunk, but was that the afterglow of alcohol?

“You know, normally you wouldn’t go home on a day like this?”

“?”

He didn’t understand what exactly Yoshino was saying, and the former had a perplexed face. In response to Hatori’s dull reaction, Yoshino stamped his feet on the ground.

“So! You’re on your way home from a date!” He looked wide eyed at Yoshino who raised his voice in frustration. Hatori couldn’t hide his surprise at the fact that Yoshino perceived today was a date.

“What’s with that face! You can add embarrassing scenes to a plot, but you can’t do it in real life…” Yoshino murmured those words with dissatisfaction. Hatori rubbed his eyes, trying to see if he was in a convenient dream, but it seemed to be real.

“That is to say, I just want to confirm---”

“In times like this you have to read the room!”

He held his breath while Yoshino glared at him with a flushed face.

Is it…is it okay for me to accept this invitation?

In retrospect, Yoshino was always somewhat strange. He could say it was about to snow, but it would be troublesome if he got angry.

“Can I stay the night?”

“…”

When asked straight, Yoshino’s blush dyed to his neck and he slightly nodded. They were both silent on their way to Yoshino’s house.

The tension rose with every step he took, even with the cool air brushing against his cheek, his body temperature only grew.

“Huh? Where did I put the key?” Yoshino was panicking in front of the door. He looked in his coat pocket and his trouser, it seemed that he forgot the bag on his shoulder.

“Is it in your bag?”

“R-right."

His trembling hands were trying to open the door. Yoshino, who had no sense of control, dropped the key. The sound of the bumpy metal crashed into the hallway.

“I’ll open it."

Hatori picked up the key and opened the front door. At that moment, Yoshino looked small and he seemed to be holding his breath.

“Th-thank you."

He opened the door and encouraged Yoshino to enter first. Yoshino’s movements in front of him started to look shaky.

The voice asking the question was trembling. Even though Hatori was just as nervous, it seemed as though the tension was infectious.

Hatori assumed he should have gotten used to this, since they had done it so many times in the past, but he didn’t want to look so dismayed in front of the person he loved.

“No.”

“Ah, then how about we take a shower.”

“Ah…”

His pink nape caused the little amount of his reason to dissolve. Hatori held Yoshino’s shoulders, turned him around and forcefully kissed him.

“Nnn…”

Perhaps because of Hatori's brute force, Yoshino’s eyes were wide open. However, immediately, the tension was leaving his body and his eyelids fluttered close.

Eating his lips and twisting his tongue, Yoshino put his arms around Hatori’s back. As the kiss deepended, the more they clung to each other.

“Nnn, n, nn…”

He embraced Yoshino’s body -which was gradually melting- Hatori caved in and engulfed his lips.

He heard a wet sound every time their tongues entangled. He teased Yoshino’s tongue, which was trying to entangle awkwardly and enjoying his mouth that was hotter than usual. Hatori wanted to continue further but when he noticed Yoshino was suffocating, he broke the kiss, feeling his hair getting pulled.

“Idiot, we’re still in the hallway”

Yoshino complained while out of breath. Hatori roughly pulled Yoshino’s waist as he glared up at him with a flushed face and whispered in his ear.

“It’s your fault for enticing me. And you were responding, too.”

“Huh? That’s just a conditioned reflex…”

“Is that so?”

“What do you want me to say!”

“It’s written all over your face.”

He was sulking but there was a sweetness in his gaze. Yoshino showed a sullen face due to Hatori’s embarrassing and sadistic desires.

“What is written, can you carefully tell me?”

“Eh? ---uwa!”

Holding his waist, they headed to the bedroom and fell on the bed, entangled together.

“Hey Tori---”

Fueled by Yoshino’s wet eyes, Hatori kissed him like he was drawn in. He continued the deep kiss and ran his hands over Yoshino’s clothes.

While singing and moaning into the sealed kiss, Hatori pinned him down and felt around his thin body. Rolling up his thin shirt, he touched Yoshino’s bare skin.

Hatori managed to get rid of his coat, and while he was distracted with the difficulty of removing his belt he realized he hadn’t even taken off his jacket.

I seriously can’t keep calm

Internally, Hatori laughed at his own impatience. He roughly stripped off his jacket, which would normally be dutifully hung up, and pulled out his tie.

“Hey, slow down a bit……”

“No way.”

“Then try harder!” If he were to immediately answer, all he would get was a retort from Yoshino.

When he caressed the area where Yoshino’s ribs had previously been, Yoshino stirred underneath Hatori. He was still a bit thin, but he had gained some weight after all of his efforts.

“I’m deeply moved that I’m allowed to caress this.”

“Hey! Hey, don’t rub that…!” When Hatori grabbed his side, Yoshino squirmed ticklishly.

“Then, how about here?”

“Hya-”

He moved his hand up further, gently caressing the top of his nipple with the pad of his thumb and crushed it, hearing a high pitched voice escape from Yoshino’s lips. Yoshino was sensitive there as well. When stimulated, it hardened easily.

“Ah, nnn, ouch, idiot not so hard.”

“You like it when it hurts, don’t you?” When he pinched it, his body jumped.

“Ahh, nnn…!”

When he kneaded it with some force, it became red like a fruit and Yoshino rubbed his knees together as if he was frustrated. It looked like his nipples weren’t the only thing getting hard.

Hatori felt something hard and alluring when he forcibly split his knees apart and pressed his knee against his groin.

“Uh…ah, wait ah ah!” Rubbing it with his thigh made it even harder. Hatori pulled down Yoshino’s pants -which had been loosened at his waist- and his underwear had changed color at some point.

“You’re already wet.” Yoshino blushed to his ears when Hatori told him that fact.

“W-well, I’m not the only one…ah.”

“Maybe so.”

“Ahh……?!”

Hatori ran his index finger over the elastic part of Yoshino’s underwear and lightly pulled it down, revealing his hard member. Hatori traced the underside and scooped the moistened tip with his fingers.

“Ahh, ah…” When he wrapped his fingers around his entire cock and gently rubbed it, Yoshino let out a sweet and seductive voice. The appearance of him clutching the bedsheets and enduring the pleasure was lovely.

How cute.

Yoshino was quick to whine, and he was usually sloppy. But at the root of Yoshino’s character was a stubbornness that absolutely hated to lose. Once he had made a decision, he was not going to change it no matter what.

“Yoshino, take that off.”

“You idiot, get ready first…” While scolding Hatori, Yoshino reached into the drawer on the nightstand.

He had found what he was looking for and was embarrassed to present what would be used against him. He carelessly pressed it against his chest.

“Thank you.”

The bottle of lotion and the box of contraceptives that were ready were new. Hatori wondered what Yoshino’s face looked like when he was buying those things.

Resisting the urge to pursue an answer, he took the contents on the palm of his hand. Making sure to spread it all over his fingers, he wrapped his fingers around his cock again.

“Hya…ah,ah…!”

Yoshino’s moans became even sweeter when Hatori spread it up and down. After feeling its tightness, he probed behind with his wet fingers.

“Mmm, mmm.”

Yoshino moaned when he forcibly pushed the tips of his fingers into the tight opening. He didn’t realize he was making it even tighter, but he still pushed his fingers deeper and deeper.

“Ngh, nghh……”

Yoshino clenched his teeth as he endured the sensation of his fingers probing inside his body.

His opening was not originally designed to accept foreign substances, but as lotion was added several times along the way, he slowly got used to it.

Every time he pulled his fingers in and out, a lewd squelching sound was heard.

“Ah…ah, ah…mm.”

Yoshino’s hands wandered around the bed looking for something to cling to. Eventually, he grabbed a pillow and pulled it over his face, burying himself. Realizing that he didn’t want to let out his voice, he moved his fingers even deeper.

“Ah, ah, ah…!” With more fingers inside him, he pushed hard against the inner wall and Yoshino’s body jumped like a fish on land. He could tell that he was getting pleasure from his pleasured moans.

Hatori already knew all of Yoshino’s sensitive spots. He couldn’t afford to tease him today. Just severly torture the spots where he would surely react.

“No, not there, ahh, ah!”

Yoshino wasn’t opposed to getting pleasured, but when he felt too good, he suddenly got scared.

He couldn’t understand the uneasy feeling like he wasn’t himself. But he had no intention of toning it down.

“Aahh, no, ah, ah--!”

The root of his arousal that was about to burst was suppressed. Yoshino -who was about to come- stared at Hatori with an agitated expression.

“W-why.”

“You can hold it in a bit more, right?” If he made him come first on a tiring day, he would often fall asleep immediately after that. As expected, it would be a problem if that were to happen today. He was already painfully hard and it wouldn’t be easy to take care of it by himself.

“You have to take responsibility for the invitation.”

“Ahh……”

As he pulled out the fingers that were probing inside, a sweet, trembling voice escaped. He had feared it might still be a little tight, but his patience had already reached its limit.

“Are you ready?”

“……suit yourself.”

With Yoshino’s permission, he spread his knees apart. He restlessly loosened his pants and pulled his excited self out of his underwear.

He quickly put on the condom and when he pushed into the prepared spot, he could vividly see his cock throb.

“Ah---” He pushed the tip in with a huff. Running out of patience, he shoved it in mercilessly.

Although it was still as tight as he thought, it had already learned Hatori’s shape and accepted him without refusal. He secretly let out a moan from the pleasure of being wrapped around his tight entrance.

“Nghh…why…why is it so big…ngh.” Yoshino glared at him resentfully with tears in his eyes.

That might have been him whining rather than him complaining. He was embarrassed to hear him complain about his body’s physiological reaction. It wasn’t something that could be controlled by will.

“Of course it's because I want you. There isn’t any guy who’s not excited about holding someone he loves.”

“Idiot……ngh.”

It was unreasonable for him to be verbally attacked like that even though he answered his question. In a fit of anger, he forcefully pushed it to the root, and cloudy whiteness was scattered by the force.

“Ahh……ngh.”

He seemed to have come just by stimulation because he was made to endure it earlier. The bodily fluid overflowing from the explosion was scattered across his thin abdomen.

“I didn’t say you can come first right?”

“B-but……” He wiped the overflowing bodily fluids with his fingers and smeared it on Yoshino’s arousal. He rubbed it hard, and with Hatori inside, it got tighter.

“Ahh, ah, no, I’m gonna come again……”

“That won’t do. It's better if we come together right?”

“Yeah ... but ...ngh.”

“Can’t you hold it in for me?”

“You’re so mean Tori……Uh, ah, ah, nghh, ngh!”

When Yoshino said not to do something, it was really him saying what he wanted you to do. The reaction inside changed depending on the intensity of the stimulus. As he was enjoying the change, Yoshino was complaining, while he was on the verge of tears.

“No, idiot, don't play anymore……ngh.”

“You want me to focus more here?”

“Ahngh!?” He gave a hard shove at the place where their bodies connected.

“No, ahhh, ah, ah……ngh.” He put himself into the root and shook up their connected bodies. Every time he sent his hips in, Yoshino's body jolted and trembled.

He grabbed Yoshino's waist and held him up, bending his back, and mercilessly stirred his lotion-soaked insides.

“Ahhngh, ahh, no……ngh” While greedily gouging out the tight entrance, he drilled into the back again and again. When he sent his hips into the right place, Yoshino gasped as if to cry.

That voice and expression further fueled him. Hatori threw his self-control away and within in his lust, he thrusted into Yoshino.

“Agh,ahh,ahhng,aah!”

At first, Yoshino was at his mercy, but gradually he started to move. It was unintentional, and probably unconscious.

It was a pleasure that threw away all reason, and he was trying to get more of it. Even if it was an act of instinct, it didn’t change what the expectation was.

What Yoshino wanted, he just gave him exactly that.

I’m really cunning

Every time he held Yoshino like this, he felt an indescribable elation and guilt.

All Yoshino must have felt for Hatori -until the later revealed his hidden feelings- were the feelings of comfort, friendship, and trust of his childhood friend.

There might have been some sort of monopoly, but it probably wasn't that of love. He dragged Yoshino to this side, imposed his not-so-pretty desires on him, and instilled his lust.

Even if Yoshino had had such experience, it was with the opposite sex and he was not in the receiving position. As a man, there must have been some confusion for him.

Nevertheless, it was thanks to his generosity that he had accepted the position of being embraced on the receiving end.

He might not be aware of it himself, but Yoshino was the one who had the courage when the time came. Hatori's prudence was a mask to hide his mean, negative and cowardly self.

“Ah! Not there, no, aghn, ah, aghn!”

“Can't you say anything other than denial once in a while?”

“Sh-shut up…..nghh.” When Hatori pointed out his lack of vocabulary, he glared at him with wet eyes.

He usually had a face that didn’t seem to have anything to do with sexual things. But when they were having sex {t/n: embrace is the orginal translation. Embrace= to have sex}, he had such a face, so he couldn’t stand it.

As he repeatedly thrust into the back, the connected part became looser. At that moment, he pulled himself out as much as he could and pushed back in.

“Aaahhh……ngh.”

With each extraction, the voice that spilled out became sweeter and sweeter. As he continued to gouge out the tightly-clung inner walls, Yoshino's face became distorted with pleasure.

“You like it here right?”

“Yes, it feels good……ngh.”

The reason why he deliberately asked the question when his reason had failed was because now he could hear an honest answer.

“Here?”

“Ughhh, ah,ah, ah….ngh.”

Yoshino, who was writhing and gasping, was driven into even harder. When he squirmed and swayed, his thin body slid up on the bed.

“No, nghh, agnh, ah, ah……!”

Vigorously pushing his hips closer and thrusting even deeper, Yoshino also tangled his legs around Hatori's waist and his hands clung to his back.

Yoshino’s lips came close to his as if they were pleading. Biting and kissing, he devoured them on impulse.

“Nn,n,n,nn……ngh.”

As he rocked his hips with their bodies close together, Yoshino's erection -which was overflowing with semen- rubbed against his abdomen. It seemed that his limit was already in sight.

When he parted their lips, there was a face that looked like it was about to burst into tears right then and there.

“Tori……ngh, already, I’m coming, please……nghh.” In the blink of an eye, a single tear fell from Yoshino's eyes. He thought he’d tease him some more, but looking at his facial expression, he changed his mind.

“I know.” Immediately, he increased the pace and caught up with Yoshino.

“Ahh, ahh, ah……ngh.”

“----Chiaki.”

“Ah------!”

After an intense urging, they came almost simultaneously. Yoshino's lower abdomen quivered sporadically, overflowing with white turbidity.

“Ah, nn……ngh.” Then, after Hatori poured all the proof of his desire into Yoshino, pulling himself out.

They remained silent, waiting for the heat to recede from their bodies. As he closed his eyes and surrendered to the pleasant exhaustion, Yoshino opened his mouth, roughly breathing.

“……I've been meaning to tell you this for a while.”

“Hm?”

“It’s foul play to call out my name like that!” Yoshino caught his breath, then paused, and grudgingly complained in Hatori's ear.

Footnotes:

Xiaolongbao: A is a type of small Chinese dumpling that gets its name from the basket it’s steamed, a xiaolongbao.

Osechi Ryori: The traditional food enjoyed during new year’s in Japan. They come in an assortment of colorful dishes packed together in special boxes called jubako, which resemble bento boxes. Every dish of these traditional foods has a special meaning in welcoming the New Year. (Taken from this site)

Shaoxing wine: A traditional Chinese wine produced in Shaoxing (eastern China). Mainly used as a cooking wine and a beverage in Chinese cuisine.

Seinenshi: Magazine for adult men

#sekaiichi hatsukoi #sih #sih domestica #hatori yoshiyuki #yoshino chiaki #hatori yoshiyuki no baai #it's the queue shot #lilly's translations

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