#but the book is. very good. i cried a whole lot because of feeling so fucking Seen

[faggotisaacfloofs]

ID: screenshot from the book mentioned. It reads: "The term "grounded" started making sense. Being utterly and completely present allowed me to focus on the immense, full- body pleasure of simply being alive. I was surprised to find tears streaming off the sides of my face. This pleasure-- as intense as staring into the sun- didn't have to cost anything- It was available to me anytime. I was overwhelmed by my discovery of a rapturous new drug that also happened to be free and legal and noncaloric!

But at the same time, I was crying because a small part of me was sad: How had I not known, until this moment, the pleasure of breathing? How had I not known that feeling air on my palms could be so comforting? How much pleasure had I missed because I was too in my head to pay attention? How often had I longed to leave all of this, to die, because I hadn't understood how satisfying it could be?" End description.

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

[eunnieboo]

IYHM ask replies! (2/3)

🌸 @csevet asked:

hi my copy of iyhm just came in and my fiancee and i snuggled up and read the whole thing cover to cover and CRIED!!! i love when lesbians 💕💞💝💗💝💗💘💞💖💗💝

AHHHHH thank you SO much!!! OMGGGGG 🥺 live laugh lesbian..... 💞💗💖💕💖💞💕💖💗

🌸 @chrysalis-the-butterfly asked:

I read If You'll Have Me a few months ago and I loved it! Your art is so pretty and Momo and PG are such cool characters! 🥰 If you're okay with sharing, I'd be interested to hear what inspired you during the creative process? Were there any pieces of media or any other characters which influenced the formation of Momo and PG? Or did you do your own thing?

oh my gosh! thank you!! i really love character interactions and relationship dynamics, so i wanted to depict two girls who seemed like opposites - one cool and laid-back, the other soft and sweet. after a while they started to take on a life of their own, and i thought it'd be wonderful if their story could evoke the feeling of a shoujo romance!

i had a lot of things on my mind when i wrote the script... friendship, intimacy, communication... communication can be so hard! sometimes it's harder with someone you're close to because their opinion is so important to you. and what happens when you've got a character who's non-confrontational and has low self-esteem + someone who prefers actions over words, and would rather burn bridges than admit to feeling vulnerable? how would they get past that? i wanted to write their flaws as believable, and how their life experiences have shaped the way they think about themselves / the way they respond to personal conflict... but also how they learn from each other and grow ❤️ tysm for the question!!

@bisexualgoof asked:

Hi Eunnie! I just finished reading “If You’ll Have Me” and let me tell you, it was spectacular! I saw it in a local bookstore the other day and it was a no brainer to grab. The characters are so fun, the story is beautiful and heartfelt, and honestly every character is attractive… I especially fell in love with the pages of the books without words, especially 312-313, it made me cry. Such beautiful art! I related to PG’s annoyance with her long hair, I felt very seen with her comments. I’ve definitely said “I’d like to forget” so many times myself, right to my butch heart haha. Thank you for sharing this story with the world, and thank you in particularly for your acknowledgment at the end of the book, it made me feel seen. What an amazing love story, hope to see more of this adorable couple in the future!

oh my goodness!! this is so lovely and wonderful and ahhh T_T thank you so very much. it's such a dream, having these girls be out in the world with their personalities and backstories revealed at last! and i'm so happy to hear about the cast and side characters, i love designing people hehe ♥ i'll definitely keep drawing this couple, alongside more sapphic couples that are to come 😍 thank you!!

🌸 @skittles-rainbow-cat asked:

HI HI HI!!! you’ve been one of my fave artists forever and i just got done with iyhm and it’s sooooo amazing im in love with it. also i think strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo fits mono and pg very well :] i hope you’re having a good day and thank you for all your art it heals me in many ways <3333

HIIII omg!!! thank you so much! this song is so cuteeee oh my gosh this line:

Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren’t on Smaller than mine and oh god I am gone

it's so sweet ;_; thank you forever, i hope you're having a wonderful day!! <3 <3 <3

🌸 @lord-of-the-froggies asked:

Howdy Eunnie! I know you're probably swamped with work right now, but I just wanna let you know that I got my copy of your book today!! I'm gonna start reading it right away, it looks and feels amazing. From a fellow Washington artist to another--congratulations on such a huge achievement!

yay hello fellow washingtonian! and fellow artist!! thank you so much for your kind words 🥺 and i'm so glad the book got to you safely! wishing you a happy read~

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

omggg thank you that means so much!!! ;_; <3

🌸 @ddooyoung asked:

I got my (signed!) copy of the book, and I love it SO MUCH. It's everything I was hoping and more. I love finally getting to know them, especially Momo. Since the first time I saw them, I thought Momo was a lot like me and now I have confirmation 😆 Thank you so much for writing such a wonderful story!!! I'm excited for everything you do 💗

WAHH thank you so much!! yesss i'm so overjoyed to finally share their story after so long! i hope the signature turned out okay, i was very nervous signing books for the first time (shaky hand and everything) 😱 i think next time it would be fun to make a custom stamp and stamp a doodle next to my signature hehe. thank you again!!! 💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I somehow missed the news about your having created a whole damn book?? was just flipping through yu & me books's holiday gift guide and did a double take when I saw priscilla and momo!! zoomed in and sure enough, there was your name at the bottom! congrats on ihym and congrats on being featured on rec lists from shops as cool as yu & me 🎉😍

omggg thank you thank you!! 🥰 AHHH yu & me books looks so amazing! i've been to new york just once but if i ever get to go back i have to visit them... i'm always looking for indie bookstores to throw my money at 😤

🌸 Anonymous asked:

1. Will there be an “if you’ll have me” sequel? 2. Is Momo her full name or a Nick name? If it’s a Nick name what is her full name? Thank you i love your work! ❤️😊

ahh there's no sequel planned as of right now! but i'd love to make one if i get the chance... i have some ideas that i think would be fun <3 and momo gardner is her full name! i liked gardner because it made me think of flowers ☺️❤️ thank you so much!!

🌸 @upsidedown-shadow-dreamer asked:

Hello, long time fan here. If You'll Have Me was delivered an hour ago and I've already finished my first read. OMG it's AMAZING. I love the story, the beautiful art, the inner thoughts, the pacing, the page color changes for back story… Just major WOW. I hope you are so proud of this work. I'm already looking forward to reading it again. Thank you!!!

this is sooooo AHHHHH T_T i'm in tears. i can't tell you how happy and thrilled i am to hear this!!! it's so encouraging and uplifting and ahh!! i want to make more stories... and just knowing that this book will be read by the same person more than once, omg! it's truly the highest of praise. thank you from the bottom of my heart <333

🌸 Anonymous asked:

Hello!! I just remembered I could borrow graphic novels as e-books from my local library, found IYHM, devoured the entire thing in one sitting, then went through your tags so I could look at all your other IYHM art, and I was wondering if you'll make more stories about Momo and PG because I can't get enough of them! Absolutely obsessed with these two and I love seeing them so happy together 💖💖💖💖

hello!! oh i'm absolutely over the moon about this! i can definitely see myself making a follow-up book if i'm so lucky 🙏 but i'll keep on drawing more minicomics and illustrations no matter what!! thank you so much for this wonderful message 💕💕💕💕

🌸 Anonymous asked:

hi!! love love love your art!!! do you think we can expect to see another graphic novel about momo and priscilla in the future?

🌸 Anonymous asked:

I’ve read IYHM so many times already and I absolutely loved it!!!! Are you planning on writing another book with Momo and PG? Is is there a way we can buy more of your stories?

thank you both so much!!!! <3 a sequel is actually one of the ideas i pitched for my second book! my editor cautioned against it in case IYHM didn't perform well, so i ended up going in a different direction - but my fingers are crossed for future opportunities 😤 realistically, it will probably depend on sales... but for the record, i'd want to do one regardless of the numbers...

i have one more book coming out, which i'm working on right now! the timeline is a bit up in the air atm but i'll try to keep everyone posted. making a book is so slow but i'm so grateful to you all for waiting 🥺💛

🌸 @randomqueernoun asked:

Do you make webcomics for other apps/websites? If yes where can I find them and what do I search in them to find your comics?

ahh not at the moment! but thank you SO much for the interest! one of my biggest goals right now is to set up a website where i have all my work in one place, and that would definitely be the place where i post future webcomics 👀

also, just as an aside... i want to make webcomics so bad. i think after my next book, i might take a break from traditional publishing to do that. sometimes i can't believe i'm drawing hundreds of pages i can't post... i'm like, how are people supposed to read this if i can't show them? how will they know?! ahh it kills me... but yes... someday!!!

part 3 to come~

[literaila]

slip-up

gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: megumi says something he's not supposed to

warnings: bit of sad megumi (same babe), gojo is a terrible comforter, reader doesn't get a lot of screen time but she's always there, a good lack of conflict resolution

a/n: the one-shot that started this series. i figured it was time to give it up

last part | next part

*

year four.

megumi doesn't notice the slip-up right when he says it. he's not even really paying attention to the conversation. 

instead, he's thinking about the homework assignment he was supposed to turn in today--the one that gojo refused (couldn't) help him with. 

"my mom usually drops us off," he's telling his teacher, trying to be polite like you taught him and not start whining (like gojo taught him). "but she's out of town right now, so gojo dropped us off instead and he gets the times confused..." 

in all honesty, megumi could blame this whole thing on gojo. because it was his fault. 

usually, you woke him and tsumiki up, pulling on his hair when he whined into the pillows, packing their lunches while they both sat at the table, eating cereal or tamagoyaki. usually, you reminded megumi to tuck in his shirt and helped the two of them get their books together, taking an occasional moment to shout at megumi's budget dad to get up before he was late. usually, you walked them to the door, kissing them both goodbye and watching both of them until they closed the door. 

later on, you'd be there again, welcoming them home with another smile, asking about their days. forcing them into a thorough recap. 

but today megumi woke up with a sore neck and gojo smiling at him, asking if he was planning on being buried in his bed. 

because even though megumi heard you tell gojo that he needed to help out, step up, the mornings while you were gone, all of you should've known better. 

megumi hasn't even ever seen gojo out of bed before nine-thirty. 

so here he was, with his shirt untucked, his homework missing, and a bag of lollipops that gojo packed for lunch. 

here he was, three hours late for school, trying to explain to his teacher that it wasn't his fault. 

and here he was, accidentally calling you mom. 

but megumi doesn't even realize that until his teacher smiles a little bit, telling him that she understands, asking him when his mom gets back. 

megumi freezes. 

the word repeats in his mind, and he finally realizes his slip-up. 

sure, he's heard tsumiki call you it before--because for all intents and purposes, that's what you were. after four years of your unconditional love, the two of them knew, truly, that they could depend on you. 

but megumi has never had a mom, and he doesn't now. 

so it's still gojo's fault when the first tear rolls down his cheek. which megumi promptly wipes away. he's not going to cry--he's not the sort of kid that cries. he prides himself on it, actually. not needing the same sort of attention that he's seen his classmates get, never feeling things that deeply. 

but he's crying now, and his neck still hurts as he turns away from his teacher, going to sit down at his desk. 

and megumi isn't the type of kid that cries, but when he puts his head down, his cheeks feel a little damp. 

*

megumi's got a headache now--another reason why he doesn't cry--and he sort of wants to curl up in bed until tsumiki gets home, and then convince her to run away with him. 

but he doesn't. 

when gojo unlocks the door, megumi goes through it without stopping to look around. he drags his backpack to his room--gojo watching the whole time, of course--and closes the door before the man can say anything stupid. 

he can't deal with him right now. or ever, actually. 

megumi sets his backpack up against the wall with a brief thought about homework and the class he's going to miss because of this, but he doesn't care enough to dwell on it. 

everything about him feels stiff, like glue got between the seems of his very core. 

he's ten years old. he shouldn't have to worry about anything. 

he takes off his blazer, sets it on his desk with sweaty palms, and feels quite naked--even with the layers of clothes and lack of eyes. and his head hurts. megumi wants to get up and restart his day just so he can tell some version of his former self not to be so stupid. 

but he knows that's just the guilt talking, so he ignores that too. 

and it's only ten minutes into his glooming that there's a knock on the door, and gojo doesn't knock, so megumi knows immediately that something's wrong. 

he's lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, but he leans up on his elbow when you peek your head into the room. 

for a brief moment, megumi is so relieved to see you that he almost jumps up and clings to you--like some child would. 

he wants to hold onto you and beg you not to leave again, because everything seems to go wrong when you’re not there. he wants to tell you that he’s scared, and that he’s not sure what to do.

but he refrains, and blinks idly, confused about why you're here, and why his heart hurts just from looking at you. 

“hey, you okay?” you whisper, taking a step into the dark room. you don't look banged up, and megumi wonders what gojo said to get you to come home. he probably told you that megumi was dying, or something. 

you sit on the edge of his bed, and your hand is on his forehead before megumi can blink. “you feel sick?” 

megumi nods, but his eyes don’t meet yours. it's a small enough lie. 

“i’m sorry. did satoru give you any medicine?” 

“did you have to come home for me?” 

you smile, slightly. “no, buddy, don’t worry. it was easier than they said, just a grade one. plus i kinda rushed it cause i missed you guys.” you push his hair out of his eyes, “now, medicine?”

“i don’t want any.” 

“if you don’t feel good—“ 

“actually,” he interrupts. “can—i, um, i don’t really want to talk.” 

you pause, eyes roaming over his face. “oh. okay. that’s fine.” 

you remove your hands from him immediately, walls of metaphorical space flying up between the two of you. “i’ll leave you alone. just ask if you need anything, okay? i’m going to go unpack.”

he nods and you give him a little grin. 

and right as you're at the door, he falters. he doesn’t really want you to go. he wants you to crawl into bed with him, treat him like he's actually sick, and let him lay with his head in your lap. he wants to ask you the same question that's been in his head since he said it, but he can't. 

“y/n?” he whispers, instead, your name feeling wrong in his mouth. 

“yeah?"

“will... will you get gojo?" he asks, even though it's not what he wants to say at all. "i want to talk to him.” 

“gojo?” you frown, looking at him. “yeah. of course, yeah. i’ll go get him. one sec.” 

and when you close the door, megumi feels like he’s said something wrong. slipped up again. 

he sits there and waits, feeling incorrect in his body. he wants you to come back and tell him that it'll all be fine, but he knows that you won't. if there's one thing you're good at, it's respecting boundaries. 

and megumi has a lot of them. 

gojo doesn’t knock when he comes into the room, and megumi is so lost in thought that he jumps as soon as the door clicks open. 

megumi’s neck flies as he looks at him, wide eyes. he's already sat up, preparing himself for an influx of anger. 

“is this about your lunch?” gojo asks, immediately, words fast and smooth. “because that wasn’t my fault. i thought your school did that.”

“you bought us our lunchboxes,” megumi argues, “you made me get the weird one with the dragon.” 

“do not insult dracomon like that.” 

megumi rolls his eyes. “whatever.” 

“so, you wanna talk to me, huh?" gojo sits on megumi’s desk chair, legs hanging off the sides. “i think this is the first real conversation we’ve ever had.” 

megumi rolls his eyes again. 

gojo waves a hand. "alright. what is it?" 

megumi pauses. he can't ask gojo. even if he had an answer, it would be the least trustworthy version of one. 

he scratches his neck, not sure how to lie about this. knowing that he's not supposed to lie in the first place. 

he's doing everything wrong today. 

gojo shakes his head, white hair the victim of many fashion crimes. “spit it out, kid. i just did you a huge favor, and i don’t have time for the attitude.” 

“you didn’t do anything,” megumi frowns, crossing his arms. 

gojo snorts. “you think they just say ‘come get your child’ when you’re crying at your desk?” he asks, rhetorically, and megumi’s face goes still. “no, they disrupted my nap, saying that you needed to be picked up and handed me a card for a child psychologist.” 

“they told you?” 

he nods. “and i didn’t tell y/n,” he grins, self-satisfied. “so you’re welcome.” 

“why not?” 

“because she would’ve freaked out, and i don’t need that, and i’m pretty sure you don’t want that…” 

megumi nods immediately. 

“it can stay our secret if you tell me what’s going on. i’ll edit the report when y/n asks,” then he turns, looking at the door. “even though she’s already listening in.” 

“really?” megumi bites the inside of his cheek, checking the crack under the door for feet. 

satoru kicks him. “no. she’s in her room. now, talk. i don’t know how long she’ll take.” 

megumi swallows. he doesn’t really want to ask—not his only real question—but he’s already gotten this far. 

at least it doesn't matter what he says, because no one will believe anything gojo makes up anyway. 

“megumi…” gojo prods. 

“do you know where my mom is?” 

there’s a pause. a very long pause where megumi feels like he’s being scrutinized.

he can tell that gojo is looking at him very closely, a microscope to megumi’s cell, even though he can’t see his eyes.

“i—“ gojo pulls a strand of hair by his ear. clearing his throat. “i, um, im not sure. why?” 

“no reason.” 

there’s a very weird wince on the man’s face. “do you want to… talk about them? your… parents?” 

“no,” megumi says immediately. 

gojo sighs. “look, i’ll tell you if you really want to know—“ 

“i don’t care. i just… i don’t care.” 

“…okay.” 

“okay.” 

the two of them are both lying. they have the same neck-scratching, and looking away tells. if you were in the room, you would be monitoring both of them very harshly. probably scolding them for the look on both of their faces.

gojo’s expression is so much weirder than megumi’s ever seen it. “are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” 

“i just wanted to know if you knew,” megumi says, crossing his arms, then doing it again. “i don’t care about them. they don’t care about me.” 

“well, i don’t know that—“ 

“no. you and y/n took us in and they didn’t care. so why should i?” 

“right.” gojo nods. “right we… took you in.” 

megumi nods, as a finality, and then deflates a little bit. 

he doesn’t care about his mom—whoever she is, wherever she might be. he doesn’t. he just… also doesn’t want to replace her. 

it feels wrong to think about. she doesn’t care about his life, so why should he care about hers? 

it's a stupid sort of guilt. if tsumiki said anything like it, megumi wouldn't talk to her for a week. 

but it's the sort of guilt over you, and a woman he knows nothing about. someone he doesn't really want to know about. 

maybe that makes it worse. 

“did someone say something at school?” 

megumi frowns. “no. why would they?” 

gojo shrugs. “kids are jerks,” he answers, simply, and then mutters “i would know…” under his breath, making megumi want to punch him again. 

“no one said anything.” 

“then why were you crying this morning?” 

“i wasn’t crying.” 

“hey,” gojo frowns. “crying is fine. it’s good.” 

“i know,” megumi crosses his arms. 

“okay, then.” 

megumi doesn’t even know why he wanted to talk to gojo in the first place. 

“look,” gojo sighs, his fingers tapping along the body of the chair. he whispers something that sounds suspiciously like “y/n is so much better at this,” and then meets megumi’s eyes—metaphorically, of course. everyone knows that gojo doesn’t have any eyes. “if you want to talk about your parents, we can talk about them. tsumiki asks questions every once in a while. and…” he breaks away, shaking his head. “if there’s something i don’t know, then i'll—we’ll figure it out. i’ve got eyes everywhere.” 

gojo is grinning at his little joke, but megumi’s frown deepens. 

"i don't care about them," he says, again, as a reassurance to them both. 

"they are your parents, you know?" he holds his hands up in defense, probably from the glare megumi is giving him. "i'm just saying. curiosity is normal." 

"how would you know?" 

gojo sighs, tilting his head back. he looks almost hurt. "i'm wise. i've got years of experience on you." 

"no, you don't." 

he shakes his head. "now i'm going to start crying." 

megumi stares at him. if he could trade gojo for literally anyone else in the world, he would. 

and yet, he doesn't want to talk to you about this. he doesn't want to talk at all. and he does. 

at least he knows that gojo won’t take any of this too seriously. that he won’t get to the bottom of the problem, like neither of them wants.

"do you think..." megumi starts, whispering. "do you ever regret taking us in?" 

gojo swallows. he looks almost hesitant to answer, but megumi knows that must be wrong. gojo has never hesitated a moment in his life.

"well, you guys are pretty mean to me. but no, we don't regret it. why would we?" he asks, teasing, like always. "children are for chores." 

megumi shakes his head. 

"you should--" gojo scrunches his nose. "i can get y/n. she's got better answers, anyway." 

"no!" megumi holds his hand out when the man begins to move from the chair, heart racing. "i don't want to talk to her." 

"did something happen with you guys? you think someone might mention it to me..." 

"no, nothing happened. i just... want to talk to you." 

gojo snorts, but he sits back down. "whatever you did, i'm sure it's not that bad. remember that time i set tsumiki's hair on fire when she was gone? that was bad." 

"i didn’t do anything. i'm not like you," megumi scowls, looking away. 

"would you like a reward?" gojo asks, dryly. "most people wouldn't openly admit that. i admire your confidence." 

both of them are silent, megumi considering the consequences of just saying the words out loud, nonetheless to gojo--who definitely won't know what to do with them. 

after a minute, gojo clears his throat. "okay, megumi. my turn. do you regret coming here with me? instead of going with your family? you'd be clan head someday, you know." 

"that place with the freaky shed of weapons you showed me?" 

"yup." 

"no," megumi doesn't have to think about that. "tsumiki's with me here. and i--"

i like it here, he almost slips. i love you guys.

megumi sighs. he doesn't want to say that to gojo. 

but the older man looks like he already knew what he meant, a dumb smile on his face. "good. okay. well, i don't know what's wrong with you," he gives megumi a pointed look, saying that he actually does. "but i'm sure it'll all work out. you've got me here, so there's nothing to worry about. and y/n would kill me if anything happened to you, so. don't worry about your parents, kid." 

megumi blinks at him. because his problems can be summed up with a quick "yeah, that's cool." 

he rolls his eyes. 

gojo's hand nudges his knee. "you can still ask if you want. anytime. we love you, you know? y/n more than me, but still..." 

megumi shakes his head. "well i love her more than you." 

"good. tsumiki's my favorite anyway." 

"good. she's the only one who can deal with you." 

"good," gojo retorts, like a child. 

he leans in, ruffling megumi's hair as he does it. "even if you are pretty annoying, i'll still do some research for you. see about your mom." 

"you don't have to--" 

"i can't pick you up every time you're crying in class," gojo shrugs, so simply. definitely a joke in the words, but no teasing. "and i won't tell y/n. but you should talk to her. she worries." 

"i know." 

gojo smiles. "okay. as long as you know." 

the two of them sit there for a while more, gojo making an awful comment every couple of lapses in silence, megumi answering with an equally sarcastic retort, and the two of them not minding at all. 

and megumi still can't get the question out--are you his mom?--but there's the undeinable feeling that no one else can answer it for him anyway. 

and gojo seems to know that, so he doesn't say anything about it. just lingers there, like an illness, waiting until megumi is okay, or maybe waiting for him to ask something else. 

even though megumi doesn’t want to give the man any credit, he knows that gojo understands a lot more than he lets on. and, just from the weird little prideful looks he gives him every time he says something, megumi knows that he probably gets what this is about.

but if gojo isn’t going to say anything, then neither is he.

still, it’s nice to have him here.

there’s no comforting glances, or squeezing of hands with gojo. no acute words and adept gestures.

megumi has never expected gojo to overcome his tendency towards immaturity, or to become something that he’s simply not.

but there is just this. just the man who’s been there for long enough for megumi to notice. to understand that he’s not going away so easily.

and it’s nice to have you both. (megumi won’t admit that the gratitude he has for his makeshift parents is much stronger, more vehement than any worry about biology, or being left behind).

eventually, megumi's eyes begin to droop, and even though his headache is less stress-induced, it's still there, a gentle pounding at his skull. 

like a reminder that things are going to change, even if he doesn't want them to. that he's growing up, and he can't protect everyone from his emotions forever. 

but megumi doesn't have enough energy to think about it. so he lays down against his pillows, eyelids fluttering open and closed. 

and he can just see it when gojo sneaks out of the room, whistling softly as he leaves, purposefully leaving the door open. 

megumi should've gone to live with that clan. 

*

"hey," you stand from your chair, looking not at satoru, but behind him, like the essence of their conversation is going to follow him through the door. "what'd he want? is he okay?" 

you dance on your feet awkwardly, looking like you were waiting that whole time (you were). 

satoru smiles, leaning on the counter to stare at you, at your nervous little lip bite. "he's fine." 

"is he feeling really sick? he told me he didn't want any medicine, but if he's got a headache or something, then i could give him a pain reliever. did he seem bad? should we take him to the doctor? i can probably schedule an appointment--" 

you're cut off by satoru as he nears you, crushing you against his chest in a hug so tight that it knocks the air from your lungs. 

seriously, jujutsu sorcerers and their sheer amount of muscle training are ridiculous. 

"satoru--" you squeeze out, but he holds you even tighter. 

"it's all good," he says like it's an answer, and he sounds like he knows something that you don't. probably because he does. 

but after a moment you relax into him. even if you have to bribe him with cuddles, someone's going to tell you what's going on... 

*

next part | series masterlist

[unclewaynemunson]

@bigskyandthecoldgun made this very big-brained post about the perfect miscommunication potential of Eddie's heart monitor betraying his feelings for Steve while he's recovering. @mostrizzaward asked me to write it and how could I say no to that :D

The first time Steve sets foot in Eddie's hospital room is terrifying. Eddie is as pale as a dead man. He has dozens of wires attached to his body, that are connected to just as many machines and monitors displaying complicated graphs, all softly beeping at varying intervals. Everyone in the room talks in soft, grave voices and all the nurses and doctors have matching serious frowns on their faces.

But what seemed to be impossible happens on a dreary Wednesday afternoon in April: Eddie opens his eyes for the very first time since he passed out in Dustin's arms. Steve is at work when that happens, but rushes to the hospital as soon as he can, and suddenly Eddie's room seems a lot less terrifying than before. Because Eddie is grinning at him from his bed, even though he's still pale and weak. He's not only alive, he's awake. It's a goddamn miracle. His wide grin is familiar despite the big scar that has marred his cheek. Fuck, Steve doesn't think he'll ever be able to put into words how much he missed that smile.

Eddie rasps his name as a greeting and Steve comes closer to the bed. But then, something weird happens.

The machines around Eddie's bed are still beeping, but there's less of them now. The electronic symphony of noises has been reduced to a duet of two different beep patterns that are clearly distinguishable from each other. And one of them speeds up rapidly when Steve leans over the bed in an awkwardly angled attempt to give Eddie a hug.

“You okay?” Steve asks, worried. He wonders if he should call for a nurse.

“Yeah, man,” Eddie mumbles. His eyes flash towards the monitor in question for a second and a blush creeps over his white cheeks. He seems ill at ease; Steve can't quite put his finger on it but there's something weirdly awkward about the whole thing. He seems otherwise fine, though, so Steve decides no nurses will be necessary.

He clears his throat and takes a seat in the chair next to the bed. For a moment, he wonders why he's even here. They weren't exactly friends before all of this happened. It would be perfectly normal for Eddie not to want him around – and yet here he is, visiting him in the hospital like it's the most normal thing in the world. What is he even doing here?

But then, Eddie starts talking about how his uncle was with him when he woke up and gave him this book he's been wanting to buy for ages.

“He cried, Steve, I've never seen him cry in my life, but he was bawling, I'm not kidding!”

Despite his animated tone, Eddie's voice is still weak and his eyes keep falling shut even while he is talking. Steve knows that he shouldn't overstay his welcome and let Eddie rest, but he finds himself too captivated in how alive Eddie is, even though his whole presence – his loud voice, his broad arm gestures, his expressive face – seems a little bit toned down. So when Eddie tells him with a vague gesture to his nightstand that he tried to read his new book, but found himself too tired to focus properly, Steve finds himself proposing to read it to Eddie before he even realizes what he's doing.

And then the weird thing happens again. Eddie starts smiling at the exact same time the heart monitor accelerates.

Steve chooses to pretend like he doesn't notice. Instead, he takes the book from the nightstand and flips it open on the first page. He starts reading aloud, but he can't really keep his attention on the words that come out of his own mouth. He can't help but feel like he made a mistake. Is the heart monitor signaling to him that his presence is making Eddie uncomfortable? Shouldn't he have left Eddie alone to rest when he started getting tired? Why the hell did he ever think it'd be a good idea to read to him in the first place? He's never been a good reader, and certainly not a performer like Eddie. So he awkwardly stumbles his way through the words on the pages, in no way able to keep up with the complicated plot and no doubt failing spectacularly in the use of voices and appropriately ominous pauses and whatnot. Whenever he glances up from the pages, he finds Eddie leaning into his pillow with his eyes closed and a faint smile around his lips, only to find out he's lost track of where he was when he directs his attention back to the book in his hands.

It doesn't take long until Eddie's breathing becomes audibly deeper and evens out. Steve softly closes the book. He allows himself a few moments to do nothing but stare at Eddie's face and be grateful for the absence of a breathing tube between his lips, showing that he's only sleeping this time. Then, he gets up and tiptoes out of the room.

***

The weird thing with the heart monitor keeps happening every time Steve visits Eddie. It happens when he greets him, when he starts reading to him, and especially whenever he helps him adjust his position in the bed he's still chained to. Every time they touch, every time Steve gets close to him in any way, like clockwork. And every time, it's paired with some kind of physical reaction on Eddie's part: a blush on his cheeks, a somewhat forced chuckle, or sometimes even a badly concealed flinch, away from where Steve's hands are touching Eddie.

Steve pretends not to notice it, for Eddie's sake, but it can only happen so many times before he has to face the clear and obvious truth here: his presence is making Eddie extremely uncomfortable.

One part of it still doesn't make sense, though: Eddie actually asks him to read to him or to help him sit up or lie down again, and the next thing he knows, Eddie will suddenly be avoiding his gaze and that goddamn heart monitor will make it sound like Eddie is trying to break a sprint record instead of lounging in his bed, and he'll recoil from Steve's touch like he doesn't want his hands anywhere around him.

Steve muses over Eddie's odd behavior for days before he comes to the only logical conclusion: Eddie is actually repulsed by him and is too polite to tell him the truth. It's the only explanation that makes sense. It's just like what Steve realized so clearly that first time after Eddie woke up: they weren't friends before this, so why should they be now? Steve has no business being at his bedside all of a sudden, and Eddie doesn't have the heart to be mean to him and spell that out for him.

He can't even blame Eddie for it. For most of the time they've known each other, Steve was a major asshole, everybody knows that. Sure, they're twenty now and Steve has moved past high school stereotypes when he got close to Robin, but still... Those stereotypes made up everything about who they were, how they were perceived and who they interacted with for four whole years of their lives – six even, in Eddie's case. Eddie doesn't have any reason to want to let that go like Steve did.

He would never admit it to anyone, but the conclusion he reaches breaks Steve's heart: he should stay away from Eddie. Eddie has every right not to like having Steve around and Steve certainly doesn't want to add to his discomfort. He has been through enough, Steve wouldn't want to make this whole long and painful process of recovery even worse for Eddie by imposing his unwanted presence on him.

It doesn't matter that Steve has started to look forward to his hospital visits like they're the very best part of his week. It doesn't matter that Steve's heart starts racing for whole other reasons than Eddie's whenever they're close, whenever they're touching or whenever Eddie is smiling that beautiful smile of his. It doesn't matter that Steve wants nothing more than to keep reading to Eddie even though he still doesn't have a clue what that stupid book is about. None of it matters, because that's simply the price one has to pay for being an asshole and a bully in high school.

It doesn't matter, because there are way worse things than the guy you've developed feelings for secretly harboring a grudge against you. He still has Robin, he still has his little nerds, he even has Nancy back; as a friend, this time, which is honestly better than things ever were between them. He has the knowledge that Eddie survived and will be getting better with each passing day. Maybe he can start dating again, find a cute girl with blue eyes and blonde hair who doesn't remind him of the one person he can't be around, and it'll all be fine again. It doesn't matter.

Update: there's now a sequel post :D

[stormyelliotwritez]

Hey could you write batfam x male reader who is Jason's secret brother? Like batfam as in Bruce, dick, Jason, Tim and Damian, and like after Jason's death and resurrection they finally figure out that Jason had an older brother? Jason hardly remebers him because 1. He died and his memories are a bit fuzzy and 2. He was very young when he last saw his brother. I feel like the male reader took care of Jason, but at some point to try and give Jason a better life he left for sile shady work that promised a good amount of money, that would help Jason stay afloat? And after the batfam find out they obviously try to find him, and Bruce obviously tries to adopt him (even if he's an adult) so he can be reunited with his brother

yes yes yesssss. I was just going to write headcanons but I ended up with too many ideas so have a mini fic! I don't have the best grasp on the whole resurrection part coz I haven't read under the red so that'll be a bit vague. I'm so sorry this took so long. I got crazy writers block but here it is. Tell me if you want more of them or like headcanons because I'm lowkey obsessed with Jason having an older brother.

—————————————————————————

"Hey Bruce, why isn't Jason the first Todd that comes up when you look up Todd death report?" Dick asked as he walked into the Batcave and sat down on the table behind Bruce.

Bruce turned to look at him and raised an eyebrow. He had no idea what his son was talking about as he'd never looked up the reports. He knew his son had died and he hadn't wanted to know anything more. He'd failed his son, and he didn't want to be reminded of it.

"He's the only Todd I'm aware of," Bruce turned his chair around and looked at his eldest son, "Jason doesn't have any relatives."

Dick turned his laptop around and right at the top of the report, it said Y/N Todd. The cause of death just said explosion and body not found.

"Does that sound suspicious to you as well, Bruce?" Dick asked as he leaned forwards slightly.

"Go ask Tim to look more into it," Bruce turned his chair back around, "and don't tell Jason. We've only just got him to stay so there's no need to spook him."

Dick nodded and then walked out of the Batcave.

                                                        ~~~~~~~~~

A few days had passed, and Dick hadn’t brought it up to Bruce again. He had gone and asked Tim though and sworn him to secrecy. He didn’t talk to Jason much, so it wasn’t that hard anyways.

Jason was sitting in the library when Dick came in and seemed to be second guessing himself.

“You don’t read,” Jason said bluntly without looking up from his copy of Pride and Prejudice.

“I totally read,” Dick stumbled through the sentence as he walked over and sat down on an armchair opposite from Jason, “What are you reading anyways?”

Jason looked up at him, confused. What the fuck is Dick on, was all he was thinking. Dick was being nice, and he was normally nice, but this was awkward. This was like the same level of awkward he’d been for the first few days that Jason had been living at Wayne Manor. He had been so confident but also such a nervous wreck.

“Pride and Prejudice. Did you get sprayed with some drug on patrol?” Jason asked as he looked his older brother up and down.

“Nope nopity nope. I just wanted to hang out with you,” Dick said as though that explained why he was more skittish than a newborn kitten.

Jason nodded and then went back to reading. “I don’t remember him that much,” he said offhandedly as Dick went to stand up.

“How did you-” Dick said as he swung around and almost tripped over his feet.

“Tim talks a lot when he’s tired and you’re holding a coffee that he so desperately wants,” Jason replied with a shrug.

Dick’s jaw dropped. “You’re not mad that I’m snooping in your business? When you were little, I touched one of your first edition books and you cried for days.”

Jason’s head turned to look at Dick in two seconds flat. “I what?”

Dick’s eyebrow raised as he stared blankly at his little brother. “You don’t remember?”

The two of them stood silently as they processed what had been said. Jason hadn’t thought he’d lost that much. Dick hadn’t realized that either. He hadn’t realized Jason had lost anything. They didn’t talk much. Talking hurts and they’re both fragile which is seeming to be a trend in this family. (Bruce pay for therapy challenge???)

They stayed in silence for a few minutes before the door opened again and Damian walked in.

“Tim snitched. Your brother worked for some gang guy in Star City until he somehow quit. He’s back in Gotham for the next two weeks staying with,” Damian looked down at his phone and raised an eyebrow, “Selina?”

“How does Tim still keep his identity secret? Wait, so like dads on-off girlfriend, Selina?” Dick asked as he looked at their youngest brother with his eyebrows raised.

“Do we know any other Selinas, big bird?” Jason asked as his head swivelled to look in Dicks direction again.

Dick shrugged and seemed to be thinking. “So, we could just call Selina and ask about your mysterious brother?” He said observantly.

Damian sighed in frustration. “Yes, lets just call up Selina and ask her if she’s hosting Jason’s supposed to be dead brother!”

“It’s a good idea,” Dick tried to protest as he looked to Jason for backup. Jason raised his hands as if to say nope don’t involve me.

“No, it’s not. It’s really surprising that you’re not father’s actual son. You’re both stupid,” Damian replied as he scrolled on his phone until he found what he was looking for. His face lit up and he showed the screen. “There’s a gala on tomorrow. Selinas bound to go just to flirt with father, and she’ll probably take Y/N.”

“Ok, that is a better idea than mine,” Dick muttered as he crossed his arms and sulked.

“All of demon brats ideas are better than yours, Dickybird,” Jason said as he sat back down and reopened his book.

                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night of the gala couldn’t come quick enough. Bruce was sitting at the kitchen table in his suit a good hour before they had to go and at that point, he wished he’d hadn’t broken his earbuds the day before. Jason and Tim were shouting at each other in the main first floor bathroom and Damian was about to tackle Dick for making him wear a blue tie. Cass and Steph were on a video chat with Barbs because she was currently at a tech conference so couldn’t make it.

Five minutes before they had to leave, Damian ran out of some room with Dick chasing him. Jason and Tim both tried to run out of the bathroom door at the same time, so Tim slammed into the wall. Steph and Cass walked calmy into the kitchen and laughed at the boys running rampant. Duke had offered to go on patrol solely because he didn’t want to go to the gala.

They all left the mansion and clambered into multiple cars.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The gala was bustling, and Bruce made his entrance followed by his entourage of children. The questions started up, but all Jason could think about was whether his older brother was there. Dick was standing close to him and swatting away any stuffy aristocrats who wanted to say how much he looked like the Wayne son who had died as a child.

Tim dragged his feet across the gala to where Dick and Jason were standing. He flopped onto the chair next to Jason and slammed his head down onto the table.

“No coffee?” Dick asked as he leaned against the wall and death stared another aristocrat who wanted their weekly Wayne drama fix.

“When have any of these events ever had coffee and I’m too young to drink and also Y/N is at the bar,” Tim rambled as he sat up straight and rubbed sleep out of his eyes.

���You’re like 18, I was drinking from like 15,” Jason started before his brain caught up with the whole sentence, “The bar?”

Tim nodded and fell forwards again. Dick put his hand out at a speed that could rival Wally and caught his younger brothers head. He nodded at Jason who jumped out of his chair and started briskly walking towards the bar.

At the bar, there sat a guy who looked to be in his 30s with bright red hair. A champagne glass was seated in front of him, and he was staring off into space.

Jason walked over and sat down next to him. He didn’t say anything but instead asked the bartender for a gin and tonic and glanced next to him. Y/N looked just like the fuzzy memories he had of him.

“You new around here?” Jason asked as he waited for the bartender to finish his drink.

The guy who was most likely his older brother didn’t say anything in response. He just sighed and sipped his champagne.

“Haven’t seen you at one of these before. You, uh, came with Ms Kyle?”

The guy gave him a nod in response as he rolled up his sleeves slightly. Jason looked down and saw the burn scar from when they’d been making pasta when he was little. His jaw dropped slightly before he recovered quickly. This was absolutely his older brother so what was he supposed to do now?

“I’m Jason Wayne,” he said so as to not spook Y/N.

“Y/N Todd,” Y/N glanced at Jason, “You look like someone I used to know. Have we met before?”

Jason laughed nervously. “If you’ve come to a gala before, probably.”

“Yeah, probably,” Y/N stood up from the chair, “Well I think Selina wanted an early night so I should go. Nice meeting you.”

Jason sighed as his older brother walked away. He downed his gin and tonic before standing up and walking over to where Dick was still sitting with Tim. He sat down on a free chair and leaned his head on the table.

“So?” Dick asked cautiously as he moved his hand out from under Tim’s forehead.

“He’s my brother,” Jason said tiredly.

Dick gasped and leaned in closer. “So, what you going to do about that, little bird?”

“No idea,” Jason said as he sighed.

                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, Jason was sitting in the library again when Tim ran inside. Jason looked up from his book and raised an eyebrow expectantly.

“He’s been spotted. Cass saw him. Dick’s waiting for you at Wayne Industries,” Tim said out of breath.

Jason placed his book down and ran out of the library. He sprinted down to the Batcave and got changed into his suit. He ran to his bike and pulled out of the cave. He drove down the highways and roads and felt the wind pushing against him. It felt just like how when he was younger, and it was just him and his older brother against the world. He flew down streets and side alleys. He pulled up in front of Wayne Industries and saw Dick sitting on a brick wall nearby. Their comms crackled to life.

“Cass has him and Selina on the roof of Wayne Industries, come on,” Dick said before he ran at the building and started scaling it.

Jason followed suite. The two of them made it to the top in record time and looked around. Cass waved from where she was standing and chatting to Selina. Jason’s older brother was leaning against the staircase door with a frown on his face as he glanced around.

Jason watched him for a moment. He had red hair just like how he did when he didn’t dye it. He was wearing a leather jacket like he did. He had a mask on which resembled the Robin one but not fully. It looked more like a masquerade mask. He was wearing boots, a pair that looked like ones Jason remembered sitting by their childhood apartments door. His older brother looked just like he remembered but also nothing like the teenager he’d idolized.

There was a scar above his eye. There was a necklace around his neck with a black rock. His hair was short and clipped, unlike when they were younger,

 and it sat above his shoulders. He looked so grumpy. Jason had never seen his older brother look that annoyed. He’d always been patient and kind.

“Selina, can we go? I didn’t come all this way just to stand around and chat with your boytoys kids,” Y/N said loudly, interrupting Jason’s thoughts.

Selina turned from Cass and scoffed. “Yeah, you came so far, all the way from Star City and your sad little retail job,” she said sarcastically before turning back to Cass.

Y/N rolled his eyes and finally noticed Jason and Dick. “He has more? How many of you vigilantes are there? Does he grow you in like a lab?”

“One of us was actually,” Dick said as he took a step forward, so he stood in front of Jason, once a protective big brother, always a protective big brother.

“Long story? Yeah, I’m getting used to that,” Y/N shook his head before he glanced at Jason, “What you staring at me like that for?”

Jason tilted his head slightly before taking off his helmet which caused Dick to groan.

“Secret identities, little bird,” Dick said annoyed as he slapped his forehead.

“Oh, shut up,” Jason stepped around Dick, “It’s me, Jason.”

Y/N took a step back and slammed against the wall. “You’re dead.”

Cass turned from where she was talking to Selina and rolled her eyes before resuming their conversation.

“Surprise?” Jason said with jazz hands. “I think we’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Y/N nodded and took off his mask. “Yeah, I think we do.”

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later…

Y/N, Bruce and Jason were sitting around the manor’s dining table. Bruce was leaned forwards and staring Y/N down. Jason was leaned back and smiling. He hadn’t stopped since he got Y/N back. Y/N looked like he was about to run out of the room.

“Jason, tell your creepy dad he can’t adopt me. I’m a grown ass man who isn’t going anywhere anyways,” He said as he scooted his chair slightly further away from Bruce.

“Hey, he’s still trying to figure out if he can adopt me and I’m legally dead,” Jason said as he raised his hands in mock surrender.

“So am I!” His brother replied exasperatedly.

“I already adopted you, Jason,” Bruce leaned back in his chair, “Found a technicality.”

Jason turned quickly to face his dad. “Ok, you cannot just drop that in conversation, old man.”

Bruce stood up from his chair. “I’m not even 50 yet. You’ve gotta stop calling me that.”

Jason smiled and shook his head. “I’ll call you what I want, Bruce.”

Bruce smiled to himself and walked out of the room. The older Todd leaned closer to Jason and smiled.

“Your family is weird, Jase,” he said with a chuckle.

“Our family actually, big brother,” Jason said with a wide grin as he stood up from his chair. “Wanna go for a ride?”

His big brother jumped out of his chair and smiled. “I bet my bike goes faster than yours.”

The two of them ran towards the manors front door with the widest grins.

Up on the staircase, Bruce stood as he watched them with a smile. Alfred walked up behind him with a smile and tapped him on the shoulder.

“You must stop adopting all these children, Master Bruce,” he said quietly.

“He makes Jason happy, doesn’t he?” Bruce asked.

Alfred pondered for a moment before replying.

“Yes, he does, Master Bruce. That doesn’t mean Master Jason doesn’t still need his father though,” Alfred said, his voice full of care and love for the two of them.

Bruce nodded as he heard the motorbikes start outside. He then smiled and walked off to attend to his work.

                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[wolfiesmoon]

Making exceptions

Baji x fem!reader

yikes i need copium AND LOTS OF IT (reminds me of a certain long-haired cult leader, or something)

Here's to a good tokyo rev fic debut🙇‍♀️🥂

Warnings: delinquent style™ hurt/comfort to fluff and lots of swearing (but that's on brand for tr anyways)

"Where the hell were you?! I was-" Baji practically broke down the rooftop door, pausing when he noticed your red, cried out face.

You quickly looked away even though you knew he already saw your tears. You've been avoiding him all day, knowing that he'll realise something is up with you straight away if you talked to him.

You thought you finally got him off your trail by sneaking onto the rooftop to cry it out but somehow he saw you leaving.

"Who do I need to kill?" The ominous tone of that question both completely surprised you yet felt completely on-brand for him.

"Don't... go beating up people... please..." you forced out, trying to overpower your hiccups.

"That's not what I was asking. Who the fuck do I need to kill?"

You flinched a little. "I know *hic* you wouldn't..." you knew the basic gist of Toman. That isn't what they do. You wiped your tear-stained cheeks, finally looking up at him. He looked livid, or atleast it looked like an angry face with your blurred vision.

He sighed. "Just tell me."

You can't possibly do that, because the person who made you cry is him. You see, you are hopelessly in love with Baji Keisuke. But the only thing he seems even remotely interested in is his gang. Which is fine, but it really does get to you sometimes.

You've tried everything to stop crushing on him but unfortunately for you, your stubborn heart refuses to let up.

"It's me..." you lied, making up some excuse of failing a test you studied really hard for.

"Did you really think I'd fall for that, idiot?"

You figured. He's too smart for his own good sometimes. It always takes you by surprise, considering his abysmal grades. Definitely not book smart. Or maybe his gang activities just keep him too busy to consider picking up a book.

You looked away again and heard the sound of him sitting down next to you.

"You seriously piss me off when you don't tell me what's wrong. You're lucky you're a girl, or I would beat your ass when you do that."

You laughed somewhat dryly, wiping away the tears on your cheeks. "Lucky me..."

A short silence followed, only interrupted by your ocassinal hiccups and sniffles.

"Are you gonna tell me or do I have to break my 'no-hitting-women' rule?" You could feel his eyes on you. You don't want an innocent person to recieve a beating and saying it's your own problem clearly didn't work, so your only option is....

"Listen... this isn't the best situation to say I'm about to say, but hear me out." You looked up, staring at the bright blue sky. Your vision was starting to clear up.

You didn't see it, but he raised an eyebrow in question.

"I like you. No, I'm in love with you." It simultaneously felt like there was a weight lifted off your shoulders and that ten more were placed on top. You're just desperate to ruin your friendship with him, aren't you?

"I knew that! Why the fuck are you crying over me...?" His words brought your still slightly red, glassy eyes to his, and a sentence jumbled in your throat, coming out as a strange groan.

"You k-knew?! This whole time?!" You tried again, clenching your shirt in your hand.

"You were making it pretty fucking obvious. Even Chifuyu noticed you acting weird." Baji still looked angry, this time at you, but you had a feeling he was very relieved deep down.

"Then... why didn't you say anything?" You held your hand against your forehead in embarrasment. Were you really being that obvious?

"I was waiting for you to confess, did you expect me to casually say 'it's real obvious you're crushing on me' one day?" He raised a brow, moving a part of his hair away from his eyes.

"Fair enough..." the fact he waited for you to confess on your own accord sparked a certain feeling in your chest. Speaking of confessions...

"So, uhh, what's your answer...?" you're not sure why you're even asking. He's made it clear multiple times he isn't interested in girls and relationships.

It is the entire reason you've been on the verge of tears all day.

"Why the hell not. I've been looking for new thrills lately anyways." Your eyes widened, taking a few seconds to properly process his words. You must have looked spaced out of your mind at that moment.

He said it non-chalantly, like he couldn't care less if it was you or another girl but somehow you knew that wasn't the case. You knew he was glad that it's you.

"Well, I'll be damned." You were honestly in too much shock to properly react to the fact he just agreed to be your boyfriend.

He smiled at you widely, showcasing his sharp teeth. "What's up with that reaction? You want me to beat your ass?"

"I'm happy! Trust me, I'm happy!" You yelled out as if you were scared but you knew he didn't mean it.

Does this mean you'll be the primary target if Baji gets into trouble with another gang and they decide to take revenge? How will your life change now? Will your parents approve of a boyfriend like him? Somehow, you never really thought about things like that until that moment.

...Hmmm, maybe the danger is worth it.

[kayadrake123]

Love 

Tim Drake x Reader long Headcannons

Hey guys! Hope you’re all good. I haven’t posted for a while and I thought it would be nice to make a come back with a long head cannon about you and Tim’s relationship. Here you go! I will be posting more stuff soon!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Contrary to belief, Tim is actually a very affectionate person

And he has different ways of showing it depending on who you are

With his siblings he always makes sure to ask them about their interests and to get frequent updates on their lives 

He doesn’t mind them talking his ear off, even though he pretends he does with them by groaning and rolling his eyes 

Might get them a gift here and there

For example whenever he sees a book Jason may be interested in, he sneaks it into his apartment later that night with a note that says ‘hopefully this will make you leave me alone for a while’ 

He’s just kidding of course

With his friends he does pretty much the same thing, but he makes sure to add in a lot of reassuring hugs with them

Now with you his lover, he’s the softest he has ever been. 

He didn’t even think it was possible for him to be down this bad, I mean he’s been in other relationships but NOTHING will ever compare to the love he feels for you

He finds himself being vulnerable without even wanting to because you just have this effect on him where he instantly melts and feels safe in your presence

He has many love languages, but his main three are definitely physical touch, quality time and acts of service

He wants to be near you all the time

You radiate warmth and beauty and he finds himself being pulled towards you, that’s how you met in the first place 

He loves hugging you 

The feeling of your arms wrapped around him as he clings to you brings him immense happiness 

A hug from you can heal anything and everything 

He has a habit of crossing your body parts when you sit next to each other, with or without people around 

What I mean by this is that you’d be sitting next to him in a booth at a restaurant and Tim would make sure to cross your forearms together on the table where your hand is resting and hold your hand 

He drapes one of your legs over his when you’re sitting next to each other on a couch 

Neck kisses. 

He loves the way you squirm when he kisses you there and the beautiful smile that spreads across your gorgeous lips

He loves when you kiss him on random places of his body, such as his back when he’s facing away from you or his arm when it’s positioned above your head

He loves when you drag the tips of your nails across his arm or his back, he falls asleep to that all the time, especially on the hard nights 

He loves giving you massages, anywhere at anytime 

Whenever you guys go on walks he likes to link your pinkies together because he thinks it’s so wholesome and gentle - you’re both very independent but still want to be close to each other even if it’s the slightest touch 

Always opens the car door for you. ALWAYS 

He actually gets upset if you don’t let him do it 

He will hold your bag for you DO NOT EVEN TRY TO FIGHT HIM ON THIS 

Loves that when you do your nails (if you get your nails done) you ask him what colour you should get 

Loves it even more when you listen to him and choose the colour he chose 

Your feet are sore after walking in heels the whole night? He will pick you up bridal style and carry you. No questions asked. 

At galas when he can see you’re getting hot, he’ll grab a fan that he stored in his suit jacket and wordlessly fan you 

He loves laying his head in your lap and when you stroke his hair

Loves when you give him kisses on the tip of his nose 

When you first bit him he was like ???? What are they doing ??? 

But he got used to it and understands that you get a cuteness overload that makes you bite those you love

If you’re also a vigilante he always wants to be your partner on missions and patrol 

Hates when you get hurt like he actually cries I’m not kidding 

Not in front of his siblings (unless you’re dying or the injury is very severe) but later when you get home after confirming you are in fact okay 

Once you got shot in the knee when he was all the way across town from you on patrol

He dropped everything he was going to see you and make sure you’re okay (bailed on a lead he’s been following for 6 months) 

When you told him you were okay he nodded but you knew he didn’t believe you

The truth is Tim heard your scream over the comms and how in pain you sounded - he also knew you were still in so much fucking pain because your body was tense and with every movement he could see you forcing yourself to not cry out in pain 

Hates to see you upset when he gets hurt and will spend the next few days, weeks if he has to, reassuring you that he is okay 

He worships you. 

In and out of the bedroom 

He takes his time with you, kissing up your legs, your stomach, your chest and then he captures your lips in the most desperate and passionate kiss that leaves you breathless and wanting more of him 

He loves the feeling of your body against his, skin-to-skin 

He always picks positions where he can feel your body against his

He also likes cuddling skin-to-skin 

He thinks you are the most beautiful and amazing human he has ever met and he feels so privileged and lucky to have you as his lover 

He loves being loved by you and he loves loving you 

You help him with a lot of things such as his anxiety, anger and his overcompensating 

Tim wasn’t ever really good at letting people love him, with his parents not being very affectionate and loving with him when he was younger 

He’s always been the one who loves and doesn’t get that love back 

But you, you changed that 

You let him know everyday that you love him and that you genuinely care about him and want to be with him 24/7

You’re his best friend and his soulmate and he will love you till his last breath and even beyond the grave

[thesupernaturalhouse]

So I cant.....I can't anymore, Stolas fucking sucks

Season 2 as a whole sucks and gets rid of a lot of character depth that characters had in s1. But this post isn't about that-

I was recording clips for an edit, and you know in ep9 s2 when Stolas tells Blitz about "you couldn't be bothered to come save me"

Yeah.....Blitz TOLD him why he was unable to go and save him. He was even genuinely concerned and sent milly and moxxie in his place

You wanna know what Blitz said??

"Ah shit Stolas I can't today- I'm sorry I am literally on my way to take loona in for her very important hellvis S-H-O-T" and "it takes years to book it, it took 5 for me to get this one"

Aka, a rabies shot, which, racist will immediately kill you. You DON'T survive that once you get it and symptoms start showing up, it's a death sentence, and considering Loona is basically a sentient/anthropomorphic dog, if she catches it her survival rate is probably 0 percent

And you know what? Stolas gets it, and then in ep9, "the one who tried to kill em and you couldn't be BOTHERED to come help me"

Bitch he told you?? He sent people in his place?? He was getting his kid a really important shot?? Yiu selfish motherfu-

I hate this bird

I hate this fucking bird so much more now

This is just the finale straw for me that breaks the camels back tbh like......

Apology tour is just, Stolas and the narritive/writing basically gaslighting Blitz and its gross

I liked Stolitz and Stolas in s1, it wasnt a healthy relationship. The circumstances for both characters weren't super good, but it understood that and actually showed those flaws, It set up these characters future arcs

Season 2 is, frankly, a shit show. It has its moments, but ep1 ruined Stolas and Stolitz for me, and it just keeps on getting worse and it isn't even in a way of "Oh its rough, but they can bounce back

This is gaslighting. This is hypocrisy. This is guilt tripping. This is abuse.

Instead of building off of season 1 it is retconning it, it is destroying the continuity and timeline, it's making these characters so much worse then what they were

Instead of having Stolas face actual consequences for his actions the narritive is backtracking and going "Oh actually its not his fault" over and over again

Oh he cheated in the marriage? No worries Stella is a bitch so it's okay

Oh, he's neglecting his daughter despite them already having this arc? Oh, it's fine she just needs to cut him some slack

Oh he constantly belittled Blitz and made him uncomfortable in season 1? Actually it was all of Blitzs fault for misreading the signs of love!

He is constantly shown looking down and abusing other imps like his butler? Oh its fine, they aren't the main characters so what he does to them isn't important!!

Another thing is that Blitz tells Stolas how he feels. He points out his shitty actions. And what does Stolas do? He fucking cries like Blitz is being a big ol means for no reason

This trial is just going to further victimize him and make him seem in the right. The fact the sins might even be brought into it is also so fucking stupid.

The writing went from a 8 to a 1 with the characters. And it's only a 1 here because there are some good ideas in s2.

Their basically trying to cover up, retcon, Stolas's actions instead of having him deal with consequences and go through real development

Honestly the best ending for Stolitz would be Blitz realizing Stolas is toxic as fuck to him and just, not contacting him again. Stolas could get some real consequences in that trial and move on and become better in his own right

Butttt of course since Viv likes them so much it's gonna be dragged on for fucking seasons and then their gonna get together.

If I were to rewrite the season, I wouldn't even try to rewrite Stolitz.

[alastor-is-best-deer-boi]

Cute Lucifer, Lilith, and baby Charlie headcanons

Under the cut so I don't dash stretcher spam someone

Was absolutely overjoyed when Lilith told him he was going to be a father. Probably got teary-eyed let's be real.

Immediately started planning stuff with Lilith even though they had nine months, he wanted to be prepared.

Really hated seeing Lilith feeling ill and not feeling good in general. Helped her with whatever he could.

It got to the point that he became a little too helpful and overprotective. Lilith had to quickly remind him that she could still do plenty of things.

Before they decided on names, he'd call the baby "Duckling"

Originally thought it would've been strange talking to Duckling before they were born but sort of fell into the habit of it. Started telling hem about everything.

Charlie definitely recognized both of her parents' voices when she was born because of this.

Lucifer and Lilith going baby clothes shopping! Once they found out they were having a girl, Lucifer had the urge to buy all the cutest little dresses.

Attempted to build the crib but didn't understand the instructions (Lilith had to help)

Multiple instances of reality sinking in for him that he was going to be a father which caused some anxiety about if he'd be good at being a father or not.

He and Lilith were there for each other about each of their worries, which helped.

Reading a lot of baby books helped too.

Panicked more than Lilith when she went into labor but quickly managed to pull himself together because he didn't want to make it worse.

Was by Lilith's side the whole time, never wanted to leave her. Most supportive husband.

Definitely cried a little when Charlie was born.

Fun fact one of the first colors babies see is red, which means Charlie really paid attention to her dad's eyes 🥹

He came up with the Char Char nickname soon after she was born.

Loved to hold her, loved all the "baby cuddles" as he put it.

Got so much cute aggression/overwhelmed with love that he'd bury his face into Lilith's shoulder (while they were all cuddling together) and mutter about how he couldn't take how cute Charlie was.

His favorite thing to do was kiss the cute little circles on Charlie’s cheeks.

Lucifer always volunteered to take care of Charlie when she woke up in the night or at the very least brought Charlie to her mother so Lilith wouldn't have to get out of bed to feed her.

He loved all the important skin-to-skin time, holding a sleepy Charlie against his chest and hear her calm breathing.

Both parents made sure to keep a baby book and write in it constantly as well as taking baby photos.

There was no reason for either of them to wear their usual fancy clothes so Lucifer and Lilith were out here wearing t-shirts and sweat pants on a regular basis.

Lucifer got really excited when Charlie entered her babbling stage. Would always talk to her despite getting babbles in response.

Lucifer and Lilith singing lullabies to Charlie is a given.

Lucifer and Lilith having a friendly competition to see if Charlie would say Mama or Dada first.

Charlie ended up saying Duck. (Lucifer considered it a win)

Her second word was Mama. And then Dada was third.

Lucifer actively holding back tears when he'd hear Charlie’s happy giggles.

Lucifer doing the parent thing of pretending to eat her little fingers and feet to make her laugh.

Lucifer: "Charlie can crawl now!" *realizing his baby can basically free roam now" "Charlie can crawl now... oh no"

They extra baby proofed the castle when that happened.

Lucifer and Lilith cheering and encouraging Charlie when she took her first steps.

Lucifer and Lilith trying not to laugh when Charlie would try new foods like ice cream or a lemon.

*Charlie lovingly aggressively patting Lucifer's face* Lucifer: "Charlie, I know you're a baby and you're not good at this yet, but you're going to take my eye out"

Whenever Charlie does a certain thing, Lilith and Lucifer discuss who she learned it from.

Charlie copying her father's expressions a lot and Lilith laughing saying how similar they are (Lucifer doesn't see it)

*that one scene from Modern Family but it's Lucifer and Lilith trying to get Charlie out of the car after accidentally locking her in*

Lucifer flying while holding Charlie and letting her "fly" around the castle.

Lilith is always like "Not too high!"

Lucifer carrying Charlie around in a baby carrier or sling(?)

Lucifer coming up with excuses every time he brings Charlie to a meeting.

Lilith very gently playing "toss little Charlie like a sack of potatoes" on the bed or anywhere with a lot of cushions (Lucifer almost always has an aneurysm watching this despite nothing bad happening)

Charlie always getting plenty of cuddles and kisses from her parents :')

Lilith: "Luce, you can't cry every time Charlie cries..." Lucifer 😢 "watch me"

Charlie’s parents always telling her bedtime stories.

Lucifer: "Charlie fell asleep on me and now I can't move"

Charlie having glow up stars on her bedroom ceiling that work as night lights.

Lucifer out somewhere with Charlie: "It's getting late, I better get this one home" Charlie, sleepy but fighting it: "No.. no, no, no" Lucifer amused: "Yesss"

Charlie going to her parents every time there's loud thunder or something and them holding her and making her feel safe.

Charlie having bad dreams and insisting on sleeping in her parents' bed when she's scared. (Lucifer can never tell her no)

Little Charlie trying to get her parents' attention: "Look! Look! Watch!" *does a little spin and a hop* Lucifer and Lilith clapping: "Good job!!"

Lilith: "Charlie, we color on paper, not the floor" Charlie: "No I just 'tending" Lilith: "But you are coloring the floor, do you want some paper?" Charlie aggressively shoving the crayons away: "All done!"

Charlie always coming up with the craziest games to play. Lucifer is constantly confused but goes along with it.

Lucifer and Lilith telling each other crazy things Charlie did at the end of the day after she's gone to bed.

Lucifer getting emotional every now and then about how fast Charlie is growing up. :( Lilith's feels the same and they try to comfort each other.

Ending on a happier note, Charlie drawing pictures for her parents. Lilith keeps them on the fridge. Lucifer keeps some framed in his office.

That's all I have for now.

[loremaster]

happy birthday to the guy i've been drawing nonstop for the past several months - here's proof!!! he's a lot of fun to draw!

vivia is also a very important character to me for very personal reasons... (cw: family death)

it didn't take long for me to realize he was gonna be my favorite character in the game - seeing him lounging in places he shouldn't be cracked me up, and so did his morbid catchphrase... i totally related to his autistic tendencies, and his eagerness to dwell on depressing philosophical thoughts. i especially love and relate to his love for literature and literary analysis, especially because my eighth grade english teacher was my dad, who introduced me to so many of what are now my favorite books, and showed me how to look closer into what makes them so good. his story structure classes were unforgettable.

my dad passed away in 2020 and i've been going through fluctuating stages of grief since. it ebbs and flows but never really leaves. a lot of my art and stories from the past 3+ years have been ways to process and try to heal from that trauma (especially my pokemon sword nuzlocke comic, which i'm hoping to finish this summer)

so seeing the strange way vivia deals with death - in general, and the death of a loved one - fascinated me and destroyed me. i've spent many nights curled up in bed sobbing myself to sleep thinking about the heartbreak he goes through in the story, the regrets, the destructive cycle of grief, the depths of the emotions he feels in such a unique way (he's so desensitized he never cries once in the whole game!) and the ways he is able to start to grow and heal from it afterwards.

exploring the queer romantic angle of vivia's character arc is also so so so important to me, not only because i'm a queer person who's wanted to tell queer stories since i was a teen, but because my dad was also a queer person, who didn't get to come out as bisexual until the tail end of his too-short life. i know he connected to a lot of the same Boys In Love stories that I did, and i wish we'd had the opportunity to explore that common ground further. but since i can't, all i can do is the next best thing - making art about it and inspired by it. i think my dad would really like vivia and the stories i've been trying to tell about him. (harold and maude was one of his favorite movies - and if you're a vivia fan and you've never seen it GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. suicidal teen forms an unlikely friendship with a cheerful old lady. you will cry your eyes out. you will want to LIVE)

so, i guess... thanks kodaka for making this specific character that spoke so deeply to me at this specific time in my life and letting me use him as a vehicle to process my own grief in the gayest ways possible. and happy birthday veeva <3

[here-comes-the-moose]

Modern Bad Batch at the Airport/on a Flight

Inspired by the fact that I’ve been flying a lot recently with and without my family, here are some Bad Batch Headcanons of how I think they’d be like.

Hunter

The passenger princess of air travel. Has no idea what time they board, barely knows where they’re going. Only job is to sit there and look pretty.

Actually I lied his other job is constantly fussing over Crosshair.

Constantly gets snapped at by Crosshair for this.

Does not let this deter him from fussing, hovering around Crosshair, and even following him to the bathroom.

Given a number from at least one person on the plane.

His siblings are just glad he remembered his ID and/or passport, since he forgot it one time and had needed to go home and come back to the airport, which had stressed everyone out to no end. He has not lived this down.

Passes out the second his ass is in his seat and will stay asleep the whole time, but somehow has a sixth sense when it comes to one of his sibling’s needing him and will immediately jolt awake and spring into action.

Wrecker

Orders ginger ale on the plane because he LIVES for the ginger ale biscoff cookie/pretzel combo.

Will only sit in the aisle seat because he does not like to look out the window (fear of heights).

Super chill and is the one who keeps the others from killing each other and/or getting pulled aside by TSA.

Sharing snacks with Omega and Hunter.

Not as intense as Hunter, but regularly checks in on Crosshair. Will get snapped at a little bit.

Always watches rom-coms on flights, it’s his routine. He cries every time, but doesn’t really feel embarrassed by it because once they see that he’s watching The Notebook they’re like “understandable sir have a nice day”.

Falls asleep half an hour before the flight ends, every time without fail.

Tech

Has all the boarding passes and knows their gate number and seats from memory.

Made them leave extremely early and still pissed at Hunter for making them leave behind schedule.

In charge of the itinerary.

Loves the window seat since he enjoys looking out the window as he listens to music or a podcast, but also likes to point things out to Omega, since she loves when he does so.

Also checking on Crosshair, but more through observation than outright asking him. Has disappeared and gotten Crosshair something he needs to feel a bit better before wordlessly giving it to his twin. This form of care is much appreciated by Crosshair.

Loves to shop in the airport. He’s a fan of the cute knickknacks, books, and the duty free section as a whole. May or may not be buying something for Phee.

Crosshair

Hates airports and air travel, so he’s miserable the whole time.

Very irritable and short-tempered because of this, but his siblings let it slide since he’s not feeling great.

Ordering a ginger ale on the flight, but because he gets sick not because he likes it.

Needs to sit in the window seat. He wants the privacy if he starts feeling too sick but also looking outside helps him a bit.

Spends most of the flight napping or at least trying to nap. Either way, he’s resting his head on Echo’s shoulder most of the time.

Not that anyone enjoys it, but he hates when they’re hit with turbulence. He’s gripping his armrests (and Echo), he’s scared, he’s nauseous, he’s dizzy and headachey, overall he’s just not having a good time. Spends the whole time there’s turbulence praying, even though he’s not religious.

Echo

Hates and dreads going through TSA.

Pretty chill after it’s over though.

Has a bag (affectionately referred to as “the diaper bag”) that has EVERYTHING in it. Tons of snacks, OTC medicine for basically an anything you can or can’t think of, hand sanitizer, two types of wipes, ear plugs, eye masks, you name it.

Also fussing over Crosshair, but not as much as Hunter since he knows when to just give Crosshair his space to sulk.

Crosshair usually seeks him out for comfort because of this.

Doesn’t care much about where he sits as long as he has the most room available for his prosthetics.

Usually sits next to Crosshair on the plane, since by the time they board Hunter has made Crosshair ban him from occupying the seat next to him.

Hunter is usually on the other side of him.

Omega

Just having a good time.

Tech explains a lot of the technical things to her and she finds it so cool.

Loves takeoff and landing; thinks they’re so fun.

Spends most of the flight watching movies and eating snacks.

Even though she’s having a good time, she’s still worried about Crosshair and always tries to help and/or do something nice for him. The only one who can get away with this without him getting irritated for the most part, but even if he does get irritated it’s just for a second and very mild.

Sharing her snacks with Wrecker and passes some to Hunter as well across the aisle.

Always says thank you to the pilot and flight attendants. Chats with the pilots if she’s given the chance and they always love her and her questions. One time early on into living with the batch and traveling with them she very bluntly said to the pilot “thank you for not making my brother throw up”. Crosshair was mortified but the pilot laughed and thanked her for the compliment.

[missmiyao]

Like That (Tobio Kageyama)

Warning: Toxic relationship, miscommunication, jealousy, one night stand, wrong/incorrect depictions of works ethics, explicit language, smut warning, dirty talk, noncon picture taking, stalking, coercion, non consensual, dubious consent, rape, mention of drugs.

I wrote this without thinking much of the plot but somehow, managed to finish it. ~5k words. Heavily emphasize on female reader.

You thought the long relationship could at least make you know him better. You do hope he does know you better too. You know Tobio Kageyama from middle school, high school and still remain as friends until you finish your college year, graduate and have a job while he continues to become a professional volleyball player. He even played for the Japan National Team when he was just 19 years old.

Support? You always support his decision. He wants to try this team? Go, Tobio. You are great. He has a problem? You'll listen to them from night to dawn, even though you have a very important meeting with a very important person the next day.

You do think you're another friend of Tobio. Well, you're not a manager or anything during your whole high school life with him, but you're a close fan. Respect, it's what you always have to him. He's the same age as you. Although he is always his usual self that lacks in terms of communication, you know he tries.

During your final year in high school, you heard Shoyo Hinata talk to him.

"Hey, Kageyama. I know this is not related to volleyball, but I do want to ask this." You were there because Tobio promised you that he would walk you home. You told him it is not necessary, but he insisted. Your houses are close to each other too, so he doesn't mind.

"What?" His tone is always like that, either talking to you or Shoyo.

"Are you and her dating?" Shoyo mentioned your name, and you remain static behind the front door. Both of them didn't notice you at all.

"We're not dating, idiot. Back to training. Stop thinking of these useless things." He is always like that. You decided to ignore the ache you felt in your heart.

"Really? You two were so close! Even Tsukishima said you two are dating, if not, doing something behind our backs!" He claimed and Tobio rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"We're not dating. Fact. Get that inside your head. Pass the ball!" His tone became higher and started to become defensive.

"Tobio Kageyama. Listen to me. Only an idiot like you couldn't tell that she likes you. Hah, in love may be the perfect word. Can't you see how she looks at you?" Your heart beats faster when you hear this. Somehow, Shoyo and the others see it?

"Are you high, Hinata? Stop it." Again, with his defensive tone.

"I know you like her too Kageyama, but you refuse to do anything. You can't let her go. You don't want her to date any other man, that's why you always remain on her side silently but you're too stupid and path-minded. That's why you didn't want to be with her either. Man, you're weak!" 

Tobio didn't say anything and Hinata refused to provoke him any longer. 

You see them practice before deciding to close the door. The night wind of March never did anything to you other than deep thinking.

Maybe, you didn't read him wrong. Maybe, Tobio does like you just like how you're head over heels for him. 

30 minutes later, the gym door finally opens and you see Tobio first.

"Hey, Tobio." Your smile is like usual. He stares at you and nods.

"Let's go back." He didn't waste any time and you agree. You wave back at Shoyo when the three of you part ways.

That's in high school. During your college year, you remember that Tobio called you. He said that he has this problem and you meet him that night. He cried, telling you about what he felt. His sets don't feel good, everyone starts to say a lot of things to him that's meaner than high school and he feels like he couldn't breath.

You help him to calm down and that's the first time you and Tobio ever had sex. It's inside a hotel room that he booked to calm himself. You two somehow ended up like that. You never left in the morning and he never did either.

He stays, staring at you like he usually did in high school. It confuses you when he doesn't say anything. When you wake up, he kisses your forehead as sweetly as ever and finally gets up to leave. He leaves right after that, leaving you thinking in the hotel room. 

Ever since, you two sneak to hook up whenever he is free. To you, you are always free for him. 

This continues for like a few years, until you're 24 years old.

"Um, Tobio, I want to ask something." He's cuddling you under the blanket. He just got back from his game in Ireland. He's tired, you know that, but he insists on meeting you.

"Hm? Ask then." You cup both of his cheeks while staring into his eyes. His dark blue eyes and one of the perfect haircuts he ever did really makes his face lethal to you.

"What are we?" You talked to Hitoka Yachi about this and hell, she yelled at you on the phone. She wasn't angry with your poor life decision, she just asked if you're okay or Tobio ever forced you to do this. She's worried about you.

We're friends. Why?" His words make your heart ache again after a few years. You nod at him, smiling before kissing his lips once and hug him tight. You know he wouldn't notice your tears. Not at all.

Tobio had a game the next day, so you decided to end this stupid situation-ship one-sidedly. Friends? Friends don't kiss each other on the lips. They don't have sex conveniently and definitely, do not share this kind of intimacy. You cooked for him, be his emotional supporter and such. He had the nerve to call you his friend?

You should give yourself a break. You should have more self respect.

Right after he leaves in the morning, you blocked his number and social media. Everything. Hell, you even deactivate your social media for your own sake. You didn't tell Tobio that your work changed your office to Hyogo. Somewhere in Ichikawa you're not mistaken. Though, your work doesn't stop there.

"You mean- training? Brazil?" You look at your new boss as if she's joking. It's just your third day here, and you're now going abroad?

"Wasn't it great? You don't have to worry about a single thing! Just pack your belongings for a week! All of the expenses will be covered by the company! You just go to the training and be well." Wow. Just, wow. You can't say anything much because you're new. 

You did go on company vacation or outstation or whatever it is, but you never thought you would be sent to one right after you're repositioned here. 

"No worries. I know you feel like 'oh, can I do this?' but please, I know you can. I've read your performance comments. You're more than capable. I trust you. Now, you're a part of my team and I will do my best to make sure you're well and knowledgeable!" She's a little kinder than your old boss but you're going to take it.

"Thanks, miss!"

*

A flight to Brazil sores you out. You're with your boss and the other person. She's very talkative, extroverted but she's good at her job. She's joining this training for another part of training that the company didn't cover you for.

Nevertheless, it is a good week for you. You're free from everyone you've known.

"Since we had a whole free day, why don't you two walk around and enjoy the scenery? I'm going to have a drink at the bar. Don't get lost. Anyway, have fun. I trust you two to have fun and be ready for the training at 8. We'll leave at 7 in the morning though." You decided to walk around the beach after you waved at your boss.

It's a very calm night for you. Somehow, you see someone with a ginger head that you know from high school. It took all of you to not scream at him. Lucky, he noticed you first. Shoyo is in Brazil! What is the possibility of him being in the same area like you, Rio de Janeiro?

Shoyo calls for your name, and you two end up hugging in public. It is such a relief to someone that you know, but it didn't stop there.

"Oh, you're here too?" You know that voice too well. You spend countless years with Tobio to analyse this man's skill.

"Oikawa san." You pulled away from Shoyo before stare at the older man. He's smiling at you, just like he did during middle school and high school. It is not rare for you two to cross paths.

"Well, what are you doing here? A vacation? You look like you need it." He winks at you, and you chuckle.

"Oh no. I'm on a work trip. I'll be here for the whole week for training. How about you two? I thought you're playing with a team under Argentina? Hinata's team is São Paulo, so I wonder why you're in Rio too." 

You learned that Shoyo has a game in Rio de Janeiro and Toru Oikawa has the same reason as you, training. You three ended up drinking non-alcoholic drinks for the night and enjoying ourselves. Shoyo is the first one who said that he needs to part ways because his teammates are worried about him.

"I can walk you back. My sense of location is not worse, okay?" Toru joked with you and you simply chuckled.

The two of you keep on exchanging conversation here and there. You finally know a lot of things from his perspectives, not only from Tobio.

"I've heard you and Tobio chan are dating. Congratulations! Though, it must be hard to keep up with that volleyball brain." Toru is right on one thing but wrong on another.

"Tobio and I are not dating. We're just... Friends." Yes, friends. That word hurts you so much that you cried in front of Toru. He didn't react much. He is indeed surprised, but decided to pat you on the shoulder and back a few times.

10 minutes of crying are enough to calm you down. Your eyes are red, your nose is stuffy and you don't even know what to do anymore. It's embarrassing enough to cry in front of your senior in middle school, but it is more embarrassing when he starts giving advice about relationships.

You cut him off after a while.

"I don't think he's ready. He's just volleyball oriented. He has his own life to do, and I have mine." The walk became so slow, that you felt like the supposedly 20 minutes walk became an hour.

"Yeah, but if he wants you to be in his life, he will fight for it no matter what. Trust me. Look, you know Nicollas Romero, the world-class player? He has a son. Thus, he's married when he's like, 22? If a man wants you, he will do his best to be with you." You hum at his statement.

Maybe, you're just a piece that he can toss whenever he wants. All of his aim, his life is all volleyball oriented. If you're going to cause chaos of that balance, he will push you away. That's why he refuses any relationship. That's why he said he's single. That's why you two are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Sorry. It's not my business to talk about this to you. Now, let's get you back to your hotel room safe and sound." He walks first and before you know, you pull his wrist back.

"I don't want to go back. Not now." You saw glint in his orbs when you said that. You know Toru is not stupid are a fool. Even Tobio is not that dense in this situation.

"Mhm? Then, what are you suggesting now? Don't play coy this time." He pulls his wrist away from you and somehow, you start trembling.

"Since... Well, you know-"

"I don't. Speak clearly." His command makes you shiver. The Toru Oikawa in front of you now is not the same person you know. You gulp, taking a deep breath before exhaling.

"Can I spend the night with you?" He didn't respond, but he slowly crossed his arms.

"Why? What are you planning?" You shake your head.

"I'm not planning anything. You can just say no, Oikawa san. I respect that. Maybe we should go." You start walking and before you know it, he pulls you by your waist. Your chest is touching his front and you feel his heavy breathing.

"I didn't say no. I'm just looking at any possibilities from you, non-verbally." You firmly grab his shoulder.

"It's just a one time thing, Oikawa. One night will not change anything. Tobio and I had been sneaking around for years and we still remain as friends. Just friends. One night of you fucking me on any surfaces would not suddenly change our relationship. I know you, you know me. I'm your junior and you're my senior." He sees courage in your eyes. You heard Toru lets out chuckles.

You always saw him laugh, but never heard him chuckles this close. Too intimate for you.

"Your boss might be looking for you though. I can't risk hearing any phone calls during sexy times." He didn't touch you more than your waist. You admire his self control and perhaps, his respect towards you.

"I don't care. All I care about is leaving for work at 7."

That's how you and Toru hooking up for the night. You weren't sure how you ended up in this cramp room in the resort or whatever. You haven't got a good look at it. All you feel is Toru and Toru. 

Maybe you're just using him to forget your frustration towards Tobio. Toru must have known that when he heard what you suggested earlier. But, if he didn't want to be a part of it, he would never agree on doing this. 

"Do you have a condom?" You ask him and he nods.

"I've always kept spare in my wallet." He's laughing and you want to slap that cheeky face of his. He's toying with you.

"Whatever. You're clean, right?" You undo your shirt first and he stops.

"I am, okay? I have the report on my phone. We all get tested before every season. How about you?" He shoves you his phone and indeed he is clean. You unlock your phone and show your phone to him.

"Same. Though, I'll not let you hit me raw." As you're about to pull your skirt, he yanks your hands away.

"I don't mind, but these two must stay." He wink and you kinda regret this.

"You're a closet pervert, are you? Seriously, whatever." 

He promised you a lot of things before you two even start kissing. It started slow but it makes your mind hazy. You're pretty sure you didn't drink any alcoholic beverages and Toru didn't drug you. 

But every touch, even the slightest caress on your neck makes you go crazy. Toru is slow with his touches but he does more based on how you react. You're going crazy and he bathes in every single moment of you.

He keep his promise of fucking you on each and every surface of this room. His stamina is what makes you jealous and intimidated the most. The last hour of him finally fucking you on bed is at 3 in the morning and he never once cum.

"Oi-Oikawa-" You can't even breathe at this point. He's too hard, too fast and he's making your mind numb. You can't even count how many times you come, either by his finger, his tongue, his dick, whatever it is. You're far too fucked out.

"Toru, bebê. Toru. I'm the one fucking you now." You can't even open your eyes at this moment. All you feel is this mushy feeling. You're sure all Toru sees is your ugly face that tried to take everything he gave. 

You can't even start with your drool and eyes crossing everywhere. 

"Give me the last one, okay? I promise." That's one of the promises that he broke a few minutes ago. You shake your head, holding onto the pillow dearly as if that squishy pillow could save you. You're lucky that you're not that small or else you might be suffocated by his muscular body on you.

"Li-lie- FUCK!" 

You can't remember anything much, other than seeing him. He cleans up, he helps you to clean up. Hell, he even bathes you. All you can do is to take everything he gave you. You have no strength to stand anymore. It is all hazy and confusing. Your mind didn't come back. Even after he put your shirt back on along with your skirt, you didn't say anything.

You passed out with him hugging you to sleep.

Toru wakes you up at 5:30 in the morning, which you immediately but slowly dress properly to leave.

"Hey. Wait." He calls for your name. Even though you did smack his back a few times because he laughs at how funny you walk, you can't even blame him at this point.

"What?" You hope that your new boss will not kill you.

"Let me have your number. Who knows this little secret of ours will become more than this?" He winked at you and you sigh.

"I told you, we're not. Though, sure." Not that you care. You will never meet him again after this. All you care about now is you're going to go to the training.

After that, you leave and never see Toru anymore. Perhaps he's busy but hey, that's not your business. A week of going to train makes you learn a lot, theoretically. You hope to bring every knowledge you learn in your new office.

*

Three months. You're really loved by your co-workers and your boss. You're good at your job but know when to slack. You stare at Toru's number. You two did have a conversation like weeks ago. Again, both of you always remind each other of your status.

Friends.

You don't mind, because it is true. You're not going to assume more than you should.

"Hey! I've heard that you still have your PTO from last year. I'm going to be very honest about this. The company won't pay you, so I want you to take your remaining PTO from last year. No worries about the schedule since I'm the manager." Your boss said. Straightforward and very honest.

It's good actually. She does care for the well-being of you.

"It's just 7 days."

"The company will not pay us shit, please. Schedule any days for your time off. I'm not going to let you burn your entitled benefits." She showed you the whole calendar of everyone's off time and you're impressed.

So, you decided to finish your job and take a week off of last years' PTO at the end of this month. You deserve it. Your boss gives you the green light the very next day after you send your request.

On the first day, you spend your time with your beloved pet. Your parents have already passed away and your brother is working overseas. Since he lives in California, you two often text each other about your and his well-being. The time zone sometimes makes it impossible for you two to video call.

You miss to see his ugly face and you know he misses to say snarky remarks regarding your appearance like before.

"Aww Coco. I'm sure nii san loves to see you tuck your paw again." You yawn, letting your big, black and fat cat on top of you. Aww, how you love calling him fat. Your cat seems to know when you're shaming his body, so he smacks your face.

You flinched.

"Ouch! What was that for? You ungrateful- OUCH! I'm not going to mix your dry and wet foods then!" 

Your phone is ringing, and Coco jumps from your stomach to the floor. You flinch in pain because of how hard his feet are pressing your chest. 

"Grr. That hurts. Oh, Hitoka?" You picked up your calls and all you heard she's yelling.

"DID YOU HEARD?!" Gosh.

"Hitoka calm down. What is it?"

"Kageyama! Kageyama is going back to Japan!"

"Hitoka, that's not really concerning. He's Japanese, why would you need to yell about this?" You didn't scoff, but you wonder why. You never check on him anymore. You made a new account on social media and steer away from the volleyball world.

"He's looking for you. He keeps texting me, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima! I didn't say anything because you told me you're blocking him, but when Hinata told him about how he met you in Brazil, Kageyama somehow..." Hitoka takes a deep breath. You wonder what it is.

"Hitoka, I went to Brazil like three months ago. It's not a big deal. I blocked Tobio because I want to end this weird friendship I had with him." You heard Hitoka screech for a second.

"He saw your pictures with Oikawa. Did you go out with Oikawa?" You remain silent. How did he find out by pictures? You're pretty sure that none of you three take any pictures.

"I didn't take pictures?"

"Well, apparently... He saw pictures from Oikawa." You clench your jaw. If Toru took your picture, that must not be a good one. You will yell at that man later.

"What pictures?" You wait for Hitoka to respond.

"I didn't know. Kageyama didn't show any pictures and Hinata didn't know about it either. I've heard from Hinata that Kageyama video called him early in the morning and started yelling. Hinata's teammates wonder what the chaos is about." You wonder what actually happened. You decided to sigh.

"Hitoka wait. I'll ask Oikawa-"

"You have his phone number?! You two did go out together!" She pointed that out.

"Yeah, yeah. I do, we do. But, why would Tobio care about me? We're just friends, like he said. Even if I sleep with Oikawa-"

"Seriously? You... Gosh!" You know, she's indeed frustrated with your poor life decision but it already happened.

"I'm not in any relationship with Tobio. He can't stop me. Why is he mad anyway?" You decided to text Toru.

>> Did you take a picture of me without my consent and sent it to Tobio?

You're pretty sure he's sleeping or whatever he's doing. You don't care.

"Well... I thought that you and Kageyama always have something. You know, something that can't be said verbally, but everyone could see it." Her words make you remain silent. Why, you wonder?

"See what?"

"You and Kageyama. Together?"

You wanted to shake her shoulder violently. Didn't she hear it? You and Tobio are friends.

"I'm gonna hang up. Thanks for the update, Hitoka." You hang up and are immediately greeted with the text from Toru.

<< [Oikawa] Yes. I did. 

>> Why?

<< [Oikawa] You never said I couldn't. No worries, I've deleted everything after I sent it to Tobio chan 😉

>> Thts not the point.

<< [Oikawa] I'm just whipping his ass for you. Now, now. I'm going to grab my dinner. See ya~ 

And you never get any reply after that.

On your second day of your time off, you decided to grab some groceries. Coco keeps meowing because he dislikes the cat food that you bought, and you need to buy a lot of supplies for him. Thus, here you are, stuck inside the oversize mall just to buy a few things for yourself.

"Urgh, I swear that if Coco ever does that act where he scratches the food like it's his poop, I'm going mad." You grab each flavour of the wet foods and grab the usual dry foods that you always give him.

You also grab the sand for his poop or whatever.

"Hmm, I need to get my groceries too." You push your trolley away and head to the wet section. Maybe you'll get that nugget that you wanted last month since your budget is a little tight last month.

But for this month, your brother sent you extra cash because he finally got rid of his girlfriend that you didn't like. He finally found out about her infidelity that you told him like 20 times and yeah, they broke up.

You never like her. She's arrogant.

You feel shiver, somehow. It feels like someone is watching you from somewhere. You decided to shake it off, before continuing to do your shopping.

"Urgh, I can't wait to get back home. Hope Coco will be more grateful. That fat, black, fluffy, stupid but so cute cat." Your push your cart to the self checkout.

After taking the whole thing by one hand, you finally get to fit it in the boot of your car. Just as you managed to close the boot, someone's touching your shoulder. You're about to scream and yell, but it's just him.

"Get in." His voice is not soft like he always used to. He's mad, perhaps it's more than the tone he always used when Shoyo pissed him off.

*

"Where are we going? This is not the-"

"You slept with Oikawa?"

His voice is clear. It's too quiet for your own liking, contrary to the sudden rain that is pouring non-stop. He drives your car as if he owns it, stopping at who knows where this is.

You don't like this but Tobio is always like this.

"Why? Does it even matter to you?" You glare at him. He tried wearing a face mask to cover his identity, afraid of the public recognizing him from somewhere. But, you always know it's him.

"That's not the answer."

"Fine. I did, okay. So what? What's with it?" You never see his expression become as dark as that. Never, not even in high school. Tobio stares at you like you've did something wrong.

"You can't."

"Why not? Tobio, we're just friends. Nothing more, nothing much. Why would you care?" He glared at you, before driving you back home. He didn't say anything, not even a word. 

When you're just about to reach your apartment, you get this tingling feeling. A dangerous one.

"You can go, I can handle myself. Thanks." You didn't unlock your door yet, staring at him.

"I'll go after you get in."

"No." 

He didn't move at all. Somehow, his stare makes you scared. It's like a predator watching its prey. Nevertheless, you sigh, putting down your groceries and unlocking your door. You stare at Tobio who stares back at you before entering.

"See you, Tobio." You close the door faster than you ever did to him before but Tobio managed to stop it with his leg. Everything, every single thing that he did makes you become more aware than everything.

You pull away from the door, tossing all of the groceries and run to the closest room to lock it. You need to get away from him.

You find solace in your bedroom after you unlock it, but only for a moment, after you realise that you did not lock the bathroom door that joined with your room.

That's how Tobio enters your room with his hands in his pocket.

"Tobio, what is it? You scared me." Yeah, he could see that too. You've been trembling ever since you noticed him following you during your shopping. You and your senses are great, better than him even.

"I don't like what I saw."

"I promise you, what happened between Oikawa san and I is just a one time thing. I never saw him again. Just, forget about this, okay?" You didn't move from your position. In fact, you're holding the knob.

"Oh yeah? Really? Those pictures that he showed me would never make me believe it's a one time thing."

"Come on! Why would you care! You're my friend, not my boyfriend, not my fiancée or my husband!" You yell at him. He needed someone to put some sense into him and you did.

"Tch." He grabs you by wrists, holding you tight before dragging you to your bed. He makes you kneel before getting his phone out from his pocket. His physique makes him able to hold you by just one arm.

"Tobio!" 

"Shut up. I'm showing you what he sent to me. I just finished my shower after that damn practice and then I saw these." He shove his phone right into your face. Somehow, you wonder how numb your mind when Toru fucked you that night.

That picture. He's fucking you and using his phone at the same time. Fuck, he even had videos on and you never know? 

You gulp, staring at Tobio. Knowing him from before and now...

"I'm not that mad- okay, I am mad. Truly. You know how many times I fucked my fist watching Oikawa fucking you? You know I need to take another shower right after that, making me late for my next practice the next morning?" He did talk about this volleyball and that volleyball, but somehow, you noticed another feeling among it.

"Tobio... I just-"

"Did he get to fuck you raw like I did?" You shake your head upon his question and he smiles. It's so genuine.

"Tobio, please. I-"

"Did you suck him off?" 

"Tobio, please. I just want to-"

"Answer me, bitch."

The conversation continues, dragging from him shaming you as a whore and slut, another demeaning words that should make you cry, but you do not. All you know now, he's fucking you. He's like he's on drugs, yapping about a lot of things.

From how he sees you in middle school then high school, starts crushing on you, slowly making you his friend then more than that. You become the star of his wet dream and he never gets off without imagining it's you.

He told you he can't focus when you're nearby, because every single time you smile at him, he gets a boner. Nobody notices that, except Kei Tsukishima. The blond hair man told him to calm down or else he will tell you.

But you never know though.

When a man tries to flirt with you, he goes crazy. He didn't attack them, simply glaring at them and asserting his dominance like he always does to you. Hold your hands, bring your goods, help you, everything. Yes, he couldn't do that during your college time but he made time for the good time.

He thought he did good to make you stay with him.

"Tobio-" You can't focus. He's going without any protection and this is a serious issue of consent. You hate him doing this to you, but you can't do anything when all of his weight is pressed on top of you.

"I just want to retire at the age of 30, propose to you and marry you. I never- oh fuck, you like that, baby? I want to marry you after I retire. I don't want to force you to quit your job and follow me to Italy or any country that I play for." 

You feel hazy as he's kissing your neck. Maybe you're too pent up, that's why you're reacting to him.

"I tried to contact you right after my first game and all I see is one tick, you really blocking me here and there you bitch." He pressed you further and you squeal. 

"Sorry- Tobio."

"Now it's three fucking months I'm looking for you and what news I got? You slept with Oikawa! I don't fucking care if it's Hinata. Hell, I don't care if it's Kunimi or Tsukishima but Oikawa? You're really getting on my nerves." He slaps your cunt once and that makes you cry.

"I'm sorry! I never-"

"Must be fun, huh? Fucking on each and every surface on that damn room." Your visions were blocked by your own tears. Everything is too stimulating. All you could feel is Tobio Kageyama and nothing else.

Tobio grips your neck, tightening it up just like your cunt do.

"Did he ever choke you, baby? Did he know that you're a little masochist for me?" You shake your head.

"N-no, Tobio." You're struggling to breathe and Tobio does make it harder for you.

"Good girl. You're mine, okay?" You nod, agree with his statement. You block out right after you cum and he never stops at that.

Somehow, you woke up after two hours? All you know is that your apartment smells like curry. You stare at Coco, who eagerly and greedily eats his foods that were refilled. Hmph, that fluffy cat. You saw a man standing at the kitchen counter, cooking. You check your groceries from earlier and it's already put away.

"Tobio?" You call for his name, softly. He turns around, smiling at you as if he never does anything to you.

"I made curry rice. Sorry for using your kitchen." He should apologize for another thing but you let him.

"It's fine." You noticed a morning after pill on top of the table. Wow, he could finally buy one without asking you the difference and alone? He's a changed man.

Tobio turned off the stove before serving you the food. You didn't react but you're hungry.

"First, I want to apologize. What I did last time is wrong. I know my jealousy is wrong. I also apologize for calling you my friends even though I thought of you more than friends. Sorry that I never asked for your opinion." 

His apologies are dumped at the same time. All you can do is stand up and give him a hug.

"It's fine. I know you. You're always like this. I wouldn't stay with you if I truly hated you." He pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"I know you too. You're blocking me here and there not because you hate me. You're just mad because I didn't declare you more than friends. I apologize and next time, I will introduce you as my girlfriend. Will- will you be my girlfriend?" His eyes show sincerity and you chuckle.

You always know him. 

"Apologies accepted and yes, I will be your girlfriend."

The two of you are eating together for breakfast. Your heart didn't feel heavy anymore and finally, you two are no longer normal friends.

After a few months, he proposed to you and you said yes. Although he's still career oriented, you know Tobio will always choose you over volleyball. The only exception. 

Yeah, he's always like that.

End

[sandy-the-glader]

Hi!! I hope this is okay!! If not, no worries!! 💜💜💜 (I love you lots!)

Can I please request an Adrian Chase x fem!innocent!reader Where while Adrian is out and about doing his Vigilante work he comes across a bunch of criminals in a warehouse, and after they’re all “taken care of”, he hears someone crying and finds a girl hiding behind a pile of the criminal’s stuff, and she’s handcuffed to something over there, so she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. She’d obviously be completely terrified of Vig, but as we know, he is very good at reading a person and would clearly see that she is innocent, and had been taken by the bad guys. Normally he would just set the innocent girl free and be on his way, having already taken care of the bad guys, however… He had unfortunately taken off his mask right before finding her, and had forgotten to put it back on, so she has seen his face. Panicking, he just picks her up, and takes her to his car with him, driving straight to the 11th Street Kids HQ, carrying in a terrified Y/n, he himself all panicked, and the team is like “wtf did you do????” “Did you abduct her???” And he’s just like, “No no, I saved her! But then she saw my face… So I guess, yes??”

Lmao it’s honestly a mess, but the team takes care of Y/n’s injuries, apologies for Adrian’s behavior lmao, and lets her stay there until she has recovered, as not only is she hurt, but very scared. After a while of staying with them, she gradually starts warming up to Adrian, him desperately trying to get her not to be afraid of him anymore (for a while there she was terrified of him), and their relationship eventually grows into a more romantic and intimate one🥺🥺🤧

Afraid of Me

*Not my gif*

Character: Adrian Chase x SoftFem!Reader

Type: Fluff and sorta angsty

Length: 5.4K (a bit long)

Summary: Request above <3

Trope: Strangers to friends to lovers, Slow-burn

A/N: LONG A/N!! Sorry this took forever I've been busy with a lot of stuff and I just haven't had any time but I worked on this whenever I could. Btw again I bent the request a little bit (I'm not sure if I wrote what you wanted for it and I apologize ) so I hope it’s okay I just made this go over the whole period of time the show does and like more so there's more time for a bond to be built lol

I heard a quick gunshot followed by another. Tears continued to fall from my eyes as I was tied to some random wall in some warehouse, Apparently, I was not supposed to come across two men selling heroin to each other but here I am. They claimed I saw too much, took me, and tied me up. Who even does that?

I just wanted to return to my apartment and read this new book I bought. That's all I had planned for my day anyway. Yet now I was tied to a pole in some wet and cold warehouse with random crates surrounding me. I tugged and tried to break from but it was helpless. I cried and sniffled as I continued to try but there was no avail.

Were those shots from them or someone else? Please god, let someone save me. I had been here for hours and I was scared of what they had planned for me. They already hit me pretty hard over the head which caused a small trail of blood to fall from my temple.

I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming towards me. I braced myself and waited for the figure to come around the crate to where I was. He was wearing a teal suit, with blood covering it. It was Vigilante. Should I be happy or terrified? He's a killer but isn't he supposed to be a hero?

"Fuck oh my god." He gasped slapping a gloved hand over his mouth. He was missing one exceptionally important part of his suit. His mask. That must have been why he was so frantic.

In all honesty, he looked nothing like I always pictured him. He was lanky with glasses and he looked really young. He looked mid-twenties though I had a feeling he was older. He honestly looked nerdy.

"I'm sorry. I really won't tell anyone who you are. I-I mean I don't even know your name." I stammered. He didn't care though because he continued to curse.

"Fuck fuck fuck. This is so not good." he groaned. The man ran a thick hand through his hair while bouncing back and forth. "Umm." He pondered confused about what to do. "Shit, I can't let you go." My eyes widen. He already has saved me why not let me go on my merry way? He took off his glasses and put his mask back on.

He came over to me and examined my situation. He crouched down and started untieing the rope that kept me on the pole but didn't bother with the ones around my hands or feet.

I was about to thank him for his acts but he picked me up and started to carry me out. Oh, he's actually not letting me go.

"What are you doing!?" I panicked. I started wiggling my body in his grasp then he held me tighter. "Where are you taking me? This hurts." He continued to keep walking until we reached his car a couple of feet from the warehouse.

Holding me with one hand, he opened the door to his back seat and tossed me in. Judging by his face, he didn't mean it to be as aggressive but it was enough to get me to shut up. He slammed the door and rushed over to the driver's seat.

This is it. After all that's happened today I'm being kidnapped by Vigilante and who knows what's going to happen. I guess the law doesn't apply when it comes to him. I actually can't believe it right now.

The entire car ride was silent. Not a sound from the man or from me. It was terrifying. All I could think of was what was going to happen to me. it took him forever to get to his destination and when we got there I realized it was some rundown video store. That couldn't be where we're going right?

-

"Guy's we got a fucking situation!" Adrian called opening the door with the girl in his hands. The whole team in the building stared at him with wide 'What the fuck' like eyes.

"Who the fuck is that?" Economos asked adjusting his glasses and leaning over his desk.

Adrian (not so carefully) dropped the woman on the floor making her yelp out in shock and pain.

"Did you just kidnap a girl?" Adebayo's eyes widened at the sight.

"No Adebayo!" He yelled defensively. "Okay, well technically yes but-" He was cut off quickly.

"And why did you bring her here?" Harcourt burst out running a hand through her blonde hair.

"Okay, I was doing my badass stuff, right? Like beating up these bad dudes and I found her behind some crates." They all stared at him waiting for him to continue. "And since I didn't know these dudes took a hostage I took my mask off and that's-" He removed his mask again and replaced the glasses on his face. "Really bad." He grimaced.

"Adrian what the hell dude you could have left her. She would have never turned you in. Look at her. No offense." Chris said. She stayed silent like she never heard the comment in the first place.

She was scared to death, trembling on the floor with small tear streaks down her face. Some of the tears mixed in with blood on the left side of her face. She looked innocent as could be and she definitely didn't deserve to be in this mess.

"Dude what the fuck!" He shouted at Chris. "Now she knows my real name! You have so fucked me!" He continued to cure which didn't make the girl feel any better.

"I did not fuck you! Besides it's your fault for bringing her here anyway." Chris furrowed his eyebrows looking back and forth between the petrified girl and his idiotic friend.

"What is happening out here?" Murn came out from one of the rooms and immediately regretted his decision. "We're supposed to be working on the project butterfly case what are you doing Chase?" He asked sternly.

"Oh, now she knows about Project Butterfly!" Harcourt placed a hand on her forehead.

"Well, it's not like I can kill her because she's innocent" The girl's face drained at the mention of death. "and we can't get rid of her because she might tell someone who I am!" Adrian wined out. He was finally right about one thing.

"She also might screw our plan up," Murn muttered trying to think of a reasonable thing to do with this girl.

"Then what do you suppose we do with her?" Economos folded his arms. The girl had been silent the entirety of this conversation but she finally piped up.

"Um.." Her voice caught everyone's attention and they turned their heads to look at her. "I-I can clean and o-organize around here." She stammered. "I can help you guys just please don't kill me." She pleaded. They all non-verbally agreed she had been through enough judging by the look of blood running from her temple and dirt caking her shirt.

"Yeah that honestly could be useful," Harcourt spoke. She looked around the room to only be met with agreeing faces. She let out another deep sigh before Murn spoke up.

"You will work the same hours as us and will get paid a fair amount." He folded his arms tightly over his chest. He didn't ask he just demanded she work.

"I'm also a fast learner and I can help you with anything you need. I don't have a current job so that would be perfect." She tried to look at the bright side of the situation. I can work for money but this is a destructive and hard-core business she pondered. "And since this is a very um dangerous job I just so happened to be trained in medical care." She offered.

"Oh, sweet! That's perfect so now dyed bear can stop doing such a shit job of stitching me up!" Chris smiled.

"Hey!" Economos protested. It was perfectly fine he thought.

"What about my living situation? C-can I still stay In my apartment?" She asked. They all looked around at each other because that was one thing they hadn't thought of. If they let her stay, she could always tell people without them knowing.

"If we let you stay in your apartment, you must realize he" Murn pointed at Adrian Chase himself. "has to keep watch of you? He somehow always knows if someone is doing something they shouldn't be." She nodded slowly. "And if you tell anyone and I mean anyone you will be terminated immediately, do you understand?" He spoke firmly making her hands tremble.

"I understand." She muttered.

"Now that everyone is done with this whole situation I suggest you get back to work," Murn concluded walking back to his office annoyed with the inconvenience.

-

I sat there absolutely stunned at what just happened. I just got myself into a bat shit crazy job. I mean I don't even know these people and one of them literally abducted me. This is not normal.

Project butterfly? Are these guys all heroes or something? I already was aware of Vigilante's existence and somewhat Peacemaker but there's a lot more than just those two.

"Oh my god, he didn't even untie you." The blonde-haired woman spoke in surprise. I didn't say anything because really what was I supposed to say? "I'm Harcourt." She kneeled beside me. She opened a switchblade and sliced through the ropes binding my hands together and then my feet. "Come on let's get you cleaned up. She went and collected the first aid kit from one of the desks on the left side of the room and motioned for me to sit at her desk. "What's your name?" She asked.

"Y/n L/n." I said quietly as I stared into my lap anxiously.

"Come sit Y/n." She said calmly trying to make me comfortable.

I stood up uneasily and almost fell back down. I steadied myself and carefully walked over to the chair and sat down gently. She pulled out a couple of cotton swabs and some alcohol. She poured the strong liquid onto the small ball.

"I'm sorry about him." Harcourt hummed taking the cotton swab to my forehead.

"Hm?" I replied softly.

"Adrian." She looked me in the eyes. "He just isn't all there sometimes." She mumbled. She tossed the bloodied-up swab in the trash and put a bandage over the small cut.

I looked over at Vigilante who I guess was named Adrian. He was talking to Peacemaker and he looked perfectly innocent. Not even an hour earlier he was tossing me into the back of his car. Jesus, what did I really get myself into? Not only does he have to escort me home, but now I have to work with him. He's a psycho!

"She has a point you know." The woman I was pretty sure was Adebayo spoke up. I glanced at her and she nodded trying to make me realize it. "He's a really good guy you just have to get to know him. I get it he basically kidnapped you but he's stupid in everything but fighting."

"Yeah okay," I mumbled softly. I don't care what they say now I can't trust him after what he did unless he really proves he's trustworthy. At least these people actually had the decency to tend to my wounds.

She continued to bandage and take care of every cut I had on my arms and face. I enjoyed her already because she was delicate to me and cared about my feelings. Pretty quickly she finished and put all the materials away.

"Come over here I think we found a box of old clothes you could change in." She led me back into the store and I could feel Adrian's eyes burning into my back.

-

"Dude she's afraid of me!" I panicked at Chris looking him dead in the eye. I waited for her to leave before I talked to my best friend about the whole thing.

"Well, I mean you did throw her in the back of your car. Chicks don't really dig that. Unless they're like hardcore." Okay yeah obviously I fucked up big time but I was under a lot of pressure and I wasn't doing what I should have!

"Dude I didn't know what else to do." I whined

"I mean you just gotta make things right with her I guess. I don't know I usually don't have to apologize to girls." He shrugged his shoulders. Great okay how am I supposed to do that when she's obviously afraid of me? Fuck. "Listen when you walk her to her apartment just be like 'Sorry for kidnapping you in my shitty car that was a pretty bad thing to do!' or something like that." I let out a heavy sigh. This is never going to work.

-

I came back out to the main room in a sweatshirt with the video store's logo on it and sweatpants that were longer than my actual legs with the same logo down the side of it. I held my original clothes in my arms and I was quiet.

What do I do now? Go home? How am I supposed to feel safe in my own home when I know that guy is watching me?

"Listen." Harcourt grabbed my attention. "You can take as much time as you need before you go home. I know that was probably a traumatic experience for you so let me know when you want to leave." She spoke as if she had read my mind. I nodded. "Also we have your address so we can get you home easily." Okay well, I told her my name and that was all it took to find out where I lived. Spectacular.

"What are my work hours?" I still can't believe I got myself to work for these people.

"Just don't get here any later than 8. Hours are different every day. Since you now work here I guess I should tell you who everyone is." She pointed to Peacemaker and Vigilante who were still chatting near the corner of the room "Chris and Adrian ." Then to the other man in glasses. "Economos." The guy in the other room that I could see through the glass. "Murn." Finally, she pointed at the last girl which I already knew. "and Adebayo."

I stood around for not too much longer before very anxiously describing to Harcourt my wishes to leave. She understood fully and went over to Adrian to make him take me home. He looked at me with some sort of care in his eyes but I just couldn't look at him so my eyes fell back to the sight of the floor.

"Come on kid." Harcourt motioned with her head to leave out the door with the man. I walked out the door and the cool air hit me as the sun started to sink down below the horizon.

One car ride and then I'm home. This time I got to sit in the front seat of his car instead of being thrown in the back like a doll. I secured my seatbelt and then just slumped against the car door. All I could really do was pay attention to the passing cars outside and the quiet buzz of the radio.

I also noticed the pleasing smell of his cologne that filled the car or how he hummed along to the Taylor Swift song on the radio. Someone like him is a swiftie?

"I'm sorry that I kidnapped you." Adrian broke the silence between us in an attempt to apologize. I ignored it and kept looking out the window. It was a long day and I genuinely couldn't tell if he was being sincere or was just trying to make me feel like he cared. "Please talk to me. I know I fucked up." I glanced over at him; his eyes flickered between the road and me. "Hey." He reached for my hand and flinched away with wide eyes and a quickened heartbeat.

His eyes lit up in sorrow. He looked like he felt bad. He backed off and for the rest of the car ride, he didn't talk anymore. There was so much tension in that car I felt like I was going to suffocate. I could barely look at him. I was still scared of his guts.

Every turn and stop made me think over and over about the events that occurred today. It was nauseating.

Finally walking through the door of my apartment left me with this feeling I couldn't describe. All of the events that happened today were fucking unbelievable.

The book I was planning to read was on my bed and was quickly tossed on my side table with a small thud. I sprawled out on my bed not bothering to do anything else tonight.

What. The. Fuck.

-

It's my first day on the job and my teammate already hit someone with a car. A van actually. I got to the disguised video store a bit after seven and Murn described the plan to me. Since I wasn't significant to the plan I just stayed in the car with a first-aid kit just in case things went south. And oh they did.

"Is he dead!?" I stood in the van looking at Economos dumbfounded. He didn't reply at first he was just making shocked quivering noises.

"I... I don't know?" My eyes widened as he started to get out of the car holding a crowbar tightly in his hands. I left the kit on the seats (since I had been fidgeting with the latches the whole ride) and followed him for support or something like that. Maybe I thought I could help. He inspected inside the car which he had hit fully force.

Judomaster was crawling on the ground in front of the car slowly. Economos inched closer and closer to him holding the crowbar. He whacked him once over the head and jolted backward then his body went limp. We waited and sure enough, he kept crawling. He hit him again and he still was moving. I slapped a hand over my mouth as he repeatedly hit him on the back of the head. He poked him a few times like you would a bug making sure he wasn't moving.

"Oh my god." He let out. "Fuck yeah!" He turned around to high-five me. I lightly returned it. "Don't worry he's not dead." He said sensing my shock. "They're hardcore it takes a lot."

"Well, what do we do with him now?" I looked at Economos for ideas. We ended up tying him up and throwing him in the back of the van. I watched him intensely. When would this dude wake up? I really hope not any time soon. Murn radioed us and let us know that they would be coming back soon with of course Vigilante. Economos drove us back to the spot we were supposed to be in and awaited their arrival.

"You're pretty cool." I complimented him. He was taken aback by the positive words.

"Well thank you." He adjusted his glasses with a bright smile.

We waited for 15 minutes until they finally arrived and loaded themselves into the van. Everyone looked untouched besides Harcourt's messy hair, a couple cuts on Peacemaker's face and Vigilante crying about his bleeding toe. I grabbed the medical kit I had set down on the seats just minutes before and rushed to Adrian's side.

I motioned for him to move his foot up to where I needed it. He hesitated for a moment but then proceeded to lift his foot into my lap. I scoped out his injured toe and I pulled out the needed materials.

Yikes. I was definitely glad that I stayed in the van. Adrian’s foot jerked in my lap as I tried to get some alcohol.

"Hold still!" I complained to Adrian trying to hold his leg down from wriggling under my grasp. From the looks of it, this man had managed to get half of his pinky toe cut off. That is such a bizarre thing for torture.

“It hurts so bad though!” He wined when I took the alcohol to his foot. He had obviously had worse happen to him but this?

“It could have been worse,” I said. My hold got tighter on his leg since it kept jolting side to side.

“Pft yeah, this was nothing!” He lied as if he hadn’t been complaining two seconds ago. “I’ve gone through worse in DND.” A small smile appeared on my cheeks. DND huh? Who knew the big strong Vigilante was a total nerd? And a swiftie...

“One of my characters got their arm bitten off by a bear so I’d say you’re okay,” I said. His eyes lit up at the mention that I had played before." Just sit still it's about to get worse." His eyes clenched shut.

"Oh shit!" He screamed out making everyone irritated in the van. I shushed him gently with a soft hand on his leg. He shut up very quickly but his body still tensed occasionally with every sting. I held his foot carefully as I bandaged it up thoroughly.

"Are you hurt anywhere else?" I asked. I still didn't dare to look him in the eye.

"Yeah, but I can wait until we get back." He tried to act tough but I could hear the pain in his voice. I noticed a couple of holes in his shirt. Maybe I could fix his shirt while I'm at it. God am I being too nice?

I mean I'm trying to think of the bright side of what happened yesterday and honestly, it didn't seem so bad anymore. He saved my ass and I'm having a paying job. I can only imagine the pay is fantastic for what these people have me doing. I sat next to Adrian. I was feeling a little less scared of him now when I thought about him like that. Even through the visor, his eyes were peeled onto me. It felt like since I got here they never left.

Getting back to headquarters I couldn't get Adrian to get out of the van without making a scene. I dragged him quickly into the store so he wouldn't draw any attention from people lurking around In the streets. I pulled him by his hand and made him sit in the closest chair I could spot. He whined and moaned obnoxiously loud. I knew the stories and new articles about the man. He was tough and put up a big fight, he never lost against criminals.

I grabbed the larger bandages from an area Harcourt showed me just this morning and also some more alcohol.

"Show me where you're hurt." I looked at him curious about what else had happened to him. He pulled off his chest plate and revealed the deep stab wound in his shoulder. The fabric of his shirt clearly revealed the bloody mess it left. My eyes widen. "You kept this from me until now?"

"I could handle this. The toe I'm not entirely sure." I cleaned and bandaged the wound with intense concentration. I was careful and sure not to cause any more harm after this long night. "Thank you." He said softly. I just nodded and didn't reply with anything else.

-

The days passed as we worked on this project and the days were long and there was a lot of work to do. I didn't have almost any free time anymore so it was hard to make time for friends I actually wanted to talk to or things I really wanted to do. Adrian continued to try his hardest to earn my trust and befriend me.

I started to warm up to him crazy enough. He did little things for me I thought were sweet. Sometimes he brought me breakfast or he would try to learn about things I liked so he could talk about them with me. I started to trust him more and more as the mission proceeded because he was really good company. He would talk and I would listen.

A couple of days after the whole 'Adrian getting his pinky toe almost cut off' situation he got himself arrested. I didn't even know until Harcourt talked to me about it and what Adebayo said to him. I felt bad for him because as much as I thought I disliked him, I hated to hear he was where he was and how Adebayo literally manipulated him into doing it.

The night he got out he showed up at my apartment because he still needed to check up on me and since he hadn't been able to. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to hug him. So I did, I wrapped my arms gently around his torso and gave a small squeeze. We stood like that for a minute before he quietly wished me a 'goodnight' without any further words. That was the kindest moment we had ever shared with one another

Then the next day we had another mission. Since all this time has passed, I had been informed on what a Butterfly fully was. At first, it was entirely confusing until I realized these were tiny alien butterflies here to kill us. I know it sounds like something straight out of a sci-fi movie.

I had to sit through a whole meeting in the morning next to Adrian where he (the whole time) joked with me. It felt sorta nice honestly. He never stopped being friendly and I just kind of started to accept it more.

And the whole mission went by quickly.

"Oh my god." I blurted when everyone arrived back in the truck. Peacemaker and Economos were fully drenched head to toe in blood, Harcourt had a good amount on her, and Adebayo and Adrian had little to none on them.

"We fought a fucking gorilla!" Adebayo exploded with astonishment. Jesus, sometimes I wish I didn't sit in the car the whole time.

"Economos is the fucking man." Peacemaker clapped him on the back with a proud grin. I did miss a lot if those two are now getting along.

"All the blood is the gorillas right?" I asked startled for a second considering the amount.

"Yeah we're all fine," Harcourt said tiredly.

"At least no one's arm got bitten off, like your DND character right?" Adrian nudged me in the side and sat down next to me. Sure I had only told him a few days ago about that but it still made me happy that he had remembered that tiny detail.

"Right." I smiled. Chris sat in the front and started playing music like he had at the beginning of the ride. I sang along with the rest of my team members to 11th Street Kids and I actually started to enjoy my work a little more.

I looked over at Adrian who was dancing like a dork. He looked so adorable? He was playing air drums and making up random dances as he went. I don't know why but I started to not hate him anymore. I started seeing this more personal side of him. Not Vigilante but Adrian.

"C'mon dance," Adrian whispered in my ear and nudged me again. I started to sway along with the group.

Later that night Harcourt made a group chat with all of us and sent a photo she had taken in the van. I set the book down I had finally got to reading beside me on my bed and picked up my phone.

Everyone was dancing in the van but on the right side, you could see me looking at Adrian with the sweetest smile on my face. The chat is filled with different emojis. The only number I had was Harcourts but from the merman emoji, I already knew it was Adrian. I liked his message and sent a fitting emoji to match the others.

I set my phone down and continued reading with a big smile. I never seemed to stop today.

-

It was the final day of the project and I wasn’t allowed to go. I wasn’t entirely complaining since this job was so bizarre but I was also disappointed. I mean all this build up and I don’t even get to go. They said it would be safer for me and of course, I understood.

But as the night carried on and the morning came through I was nervous. I had no texts or word from anyone. Sure, they still could be busy and have to do some other stuff before texting me but what if?

I heard a rushed-sounding knock on my door which threw me off. I ran to my door since the person decided to not stop knocking.

"What do you want?" I hissed as I threw open the door but I was only met with Adrian. My eyes soften upon seeing him. Oh, thank god he’s alive. "Adrian. Hi." I paused when noticing he was in a pair of shorts and a nursing gown. "Come inside." I ushered him in with wide eyes and closed the door quickly behind him. "What are you doing here?"

"Listen I jumped out of a hospital building to be her so-"

"Adrian!" I scolded him for being careless. I had started to really enjoy him I didn't need him being so careless all the time.

"Shut up. Sorry, but I need to tell you this." I stared at him silently with folded arms awaiting what he was about to tell me. "Okay, so after almost dying, I know what you're about to say please just wait. After almost dying, I realized had more feelings for you than I have ever had for someone and that's like a lot for me." He stepped closer to me. "I had to tell you those feelings just in case I actually died sometime. But now I'm scared if you reject me because of the whole kidnapping thing when we first met and usually I would be okay with rejection but I don't feel usual with you." He rambled and his hands made several confusing gestures along the way.

Everything about him told me he was being truthful. His hands were trembling with nervousness, He literally came from a hospital to tell me this and he just had that look on his face.

The feelings from the other day came rushing back. I really enjoyed being with genuine Adrian. The time we spent together over the course of this project was enjoyable. I noticed small things about him like the way he always made sure to keep an eye on me and was careful not to get me into anything super dangerous. He had become almost like a personal guard.

He even taught me how to use weapons, and also never overstepped my boundaries. So yeah maybe I developed a crush on my kidnapper co-worker.

"Why are you looking at me like that I'm like really nervous right now." He asked.

"Because I feel the same way. Even though you did totally kidnap and traumatize me." I nudged him smiling but he didn't return it. "Adrian I was playing with you. But I really do feel the same way." He let out a long breath. I was quite sure he had stopped breathing for a little while.

"Oh thank god." Adrian stepped closer and picked me up in his arms as he kissed me deeply. I've kissed a couple of times in the past but never did it feel as amazing as this. I held him close to me as if he would slip away again. He pulled away to look closely at my face.

"Just because you kissed me doesn't mean I won't scold you for almost dying." I glared at him but he just smiled kindly and kissed me again.

"If I keep. Kissing you then. I won't. Get yelled at." He said in between kisses making me start to laugh.

“Don’t scare me like that again Chase.” I shook my head kissing him passionately once more. I could get used to this feeling.

[bonefall]

So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!

A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?

B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?

C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?

(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)

AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.

While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.

I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.

...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.

I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.

You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.

So... Warrior Cats Misogyny

I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.

Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.

It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,

Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)

Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)

Misty (killed for land, children stolen)

Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)

Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)

Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)

Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)

Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)

Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)

Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")

Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.

"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."

It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).

It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.

It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).

It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.

You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,

That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,

Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.

LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.

So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.

Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,

"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot

He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.

[xbruised-peachx]

Yooo first time ever requesting anything on this platform but like. Gromsko? Fender? As dads 😳? Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure for more content with my favs :3

OHHHH SWEET ANON I've thought about this a lot, in particular with Grom, might make a render someday... eventually... when i have time... dont hold me to this.

Tags: fem!reader, pregnancy, critical levels of cuteness and sweetness, author is not responsible for baby fever caused by this fic, one-shot, not betaread

Gromdad/Dad!Gromsko ⛈🇵🇱

He's always been a family man, not even just for wanting kids. Learning to care from his grandmother, he knows there's so much more that goes into having a truly good family life beyond just having a big family. He knows the value of true familial love that some struggle with because all they want is some big lineage. He's seen swaths of men who just want to pass on their genes but then not be there for the family they helped create. He never wants to be like that. He wants to be like his grandmother, like the other men in his family; true, respectful men that bring honor to them through compassion, care, and true familial love. Someone that will be passed down through generations due to the genuine heart he has.

Announcing to him that you're pregnant would genuinely brighten up his whole day. He would sit silent for moments as a smile crept up his face, in complete disbelief as his mind raced. He would only be able to choke out a soft "W-what?", unable to hide his smile as it grew and he laughed out of sheer awe. Head in his hands as his mind scrambled more for what to say, struggling even to gather a thought in his native language, let alone translate it. You rubbed your hand on his back, worried about him but he'd quickly pull you in for a tight embrace, taking a deep inhale in as he rested his head into the crook of your neck. Pulling back, you saw as he had a soft smile, his eyes gleaming a bit more as he showed a soft expression, wet with tears that threatened to come out. "I... I think I'm the happiest man in the world right now."

Having him around during pregnancy was a godsend. Sure, his medical training was for war and not for prenatal care, but he would be trying his damnedest and reading professional books on care. He wouldn't dare you to lift a finger the entire time, making meals for you like he usually would, and cleaning the house. Whatever you are craving, he'll figure out a way to mix it up even if it's... questionable in flavor to him. He also adores shopping with you, picking out a theme for an animal for the nursery, going with lions with the warm orange and oak colors making it very inviting as he set up the furniture. He especially adored the small scale clothes and shoes, and you couldn't even resist the cute allure of the matching red and white tracksuit when it was in a miniature scale. The nights though were where the true comfort lied, just on the couch, watching a movie or show while wrapped in blankets, his arms wrapped around your waist as he softly rubbed where the bump was forming. You couldn't see his face due to the position but he would be looking in absolute adoration. He knew pregnancy was hard on you, but that you were more than willing to put up with it for him? He will do anything to make it easier for you.

Above all, he is an amazing father once the baby is born. He admits, he cried when he first saw them and held them in his arms. He wasn't ever the man to cry, but the pure joy made him break. No doubt too with him being a big guy himself, his kid would come out naturally big and stay that way through infancy (I think of the one tiktok where he says "you look like a busted can of biscuits"... feel like that happened to Sobi at least once). One of his favorite things to do is while the baby is on their back, grabbing his helmet and going over them, letting the little bits of fabric dangle down as he leans down, shaking his head lightly as he watches the baby's reaction, eyes going wide then a huge smile growing as the baby starts giggling. His own smile goes wide as he hears every time the baby lets out a screaming laugh as he shakes his head. Watching it all warms you heart. It warms your heart even more as nighttime hits and you hear a low voice coming from the nursery, a tune that is out of key but warm and inviting in his own way. To his side a "Goodnight Moon" book but his singing... He expressed how he wanted to have the baby know both English and Polish. And there he was, softly singing in a rocking chair, no doubt his baritone singing making a soothing rumble as the baby fell asleep against his chest; Oj, lulaj, lulaj... Maleńki sokole... Oj, jak ty mnie urośniesz... Pójdziesz ze mną w pole...

Dad!Fender 🤘��🇺

He's always had the looming loss of his father over him, that legacy being his driving force as a soldier. But when he got with you? A new type of dread loomed over him; would he meet the same fate as his father? The thought terrified him, leaving you alone to raise a child, he didn't want to leave another child with the same fate as him. He wanted to be different.

When you told him about the results of the test, you were worried. You knew he wouldn't end things with you but that this still was completely unplanned. And that made him think of his own parents again. He remained silent, thinking in his head of what his own father must have thought when he was told... but as your hand slid over his and he met your eyes, seeing that worry and doubt, it melted him a bit. He thought of how his father must have thought at the time, with his mission in Budapest, the situation in Budapest at the time... thought story had its parallels, he realized it was different. He wasn't a CIA operative in a different country, he was a strong soldier in his own way, now working for a PMC that he could break his contract with for the time being. He had a strong relation with Kortac and they would absolutely understand his absence. He realized he can make it different, he will break the fate. Taking your hand and meeting your eyes, he looked determined but caring still, a smile on his face as he spoke, "We got this... We'll be strong together and get through this, darling... I'll be here for you."

With his break from Kortac he was more than willing to care for you while you were pregnant. His love of working out meant he had plenty of vitamins to help out both you and the baby, but also he was more than willing to grab new ones that were specialized for prenatal. Anytime you passed out on the couch, taking a nap just from the sheer work of your body growing your child. He'd smile and lift you with ease to the bed, often just taking a moment to lay with you while you rested. It warmed his heart being there for you. He had no mission professionally, just the goal of being there for you and supporting you. He felt less dread as time went on and he saw you happily walking around the home, smiling as you leaned on the doorway to the new nursery as he put together the complicated furniture.

When the baby was born, he couldn't ever describe the elation he felt. His own father dying before he was born, he finally felt at ease as he proved he could break the cycle, that it wasn't his destiny to have the same fate as his father, even if there was parallels. He'd carry everything for you out of the hospital, including the baby themself. And he always wanted to be there for you and the baby after, he was often the one getting up in the middle of the night when they cried, not minding at all as he savored every moment he got with them. He loved spending tummy time with you and them, encouraging the lil' thing as they grew and got stronger. Every moment was so precious to him, and he was glad to be there. Though his dad seemed before to be an omen, now he couldn't help but think of him positively, hoping wherever he was that he could see the proud man he left on this world, now a proud father.

[multiharlot]

we can't be friends // matt murdock x age gap!reader

summary: you and matt try to repair what's broken.

warnings: reader getting angry, lots of emotions, being in therapy, mentions of pregnancy

very loosely inspired by we can't be friends by miss grande <3

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you two were seated in the waiting room of your OBGYN's office for your first sonogram when he'd blurted it out.

"maybe we should try therapy"

you furrowed your eyebrows as you snapped your head away from the book you were reading.

"what?"

"therapy. couples therapy."

you paused, just staring at him for a moment as you processed what he'd just asked of you.

"you think couples therapy is going to make me forgive you for cheating on me?"

matt winced at your harsh words, but you had every right to be angry. he felt lucky enough that you hadn't divorced him yet.

not that you hadn't thought about it. you did. you just could never follow through with it.

"i just thought that maybe it'd...help us move forward?" matt said, bracing himself for what you might say next.

you just nodded your head before turning your gaze back to the book you were reading.

"okay" you breathed out.

you'd wished that you hated him for what he did. you'd be well within your rights to hate him. but you couldn't. hating him was something you couldn't figure out how to do. and maybe it was the pregnancy hormones that kept you from it but every now and then, you found yourself crying to a god you weren't sure was listening to you, begging him to let you hate your estranged husband.

but you couldn't. and you weren't sure you ever could. which made the whole having his child thing all the more difficult and made you all the more angrier at times.

and now, you were here, on a strangers couch, clutching the pillow in your lap with matt seated beside you on the opposite end of the couch and a middle aged woman sitting in front of you. you'd felt odd. this woman was probably somewhere around the same age as you and now she was advising you on how to fix your relationship, not that you were even sure you wanted to.

"why'd you do it?" you mumble as you lean your chin onto the pillow

matt froze, he wasn't sure how to respond. he wasn't even sure why he did it himself.

"i..." he sighed once he realized he didn't have an answer.

you just nodded your head.

"was it me?"

"no! no, it wasn't you." he quickly responded, turning his body towards you.

"if i may, were you maybe unhappy with your marriage? or maybe just unhappy with marriage as a whole?" the therapist asks.

matthew furiously shook his head, his eyebrows furrowed.

"absolutely not i...i love our marriage. i love you. you're...the love of my life i just...i don't know. you are...everything that's good in this world. everything that i've ever wanted to keep safe from the evil seeping into this city. and i..."

"you feel like maybe you're that evil?' the therapist finishes his statement.

matt just sat there. he was no strange to self-sabotaging his relationships. he'd done them to every relationship he'd ever been in. it's all he'd ever known and maybe, subconsciously, that's what this was. because it certainly wasn't anything else.

"i can't...i didn't want to be the one to dampen any good thing that was coming your way i...you deserve better than me. better than the life i was giving you."

"you don't get to decide that! that was never your decision! i sat in leanne's apartment for a month trying to figure out what it was about me that made you feel like...like you had to outsource. i- we were fine!" you said, your volume rising and tears beginning to brim your eyes.

"we were more than fine i just-"

"you had so long!" you cried.

matt just sat there and the therapist furrowed her eyebrows.

"what do you mean by that, y/n?" she asks.

you sit there, letting out a long breath as the tears began to fall from your eyes.

"you had all this time to figure it out. every time you pushed me away, i waited through those phases. i waited for you to love me again because i knew that deep down you always did regardless of the way you tried to push me away. and when we got married i thought...i thought that was it. i thought maybe you finally accepted me and my love. but i was wrong." i cried.

matt sat there, tears brimming in his eyes.

"i do love you." he breathed out, his voice cracking softly.

silence filled the room. and the therapist clears her throat.

"y/n, considering the...circumstances. i think it'd be good to set an intentional timeline on how to move forward from here."

"doc, with all due respect, if i remotely knew how to move forward, we wouldn't be sitting in this office. i'd have filed for the divorce papers the moment i found out he cheated and i wouldn't be trying to shuffle through the rubble of our relationship for anything worth saving after it crashed and burned the way it did." you blurted out.

matt tenses as he hears the rage dripping from your words and he could feel his heart cracking as he listens to your confession that you'd wanted to leave him.

"why do you feel that you can't divorce him?" the therapist asks.

you scoff, shaking your head.

"we're having a kid together." you say matter of factly, leaning back into the couch.

"you can co-parent." she says, shrugging her shoulders.

"we can be co-parents and...just be friends." matt says reluctantly suggests, making you snap your head towards him.

"friends? you want to be friends? ...no. we can't be friends, matt. i can't be friends with you i-" and you stop, the emotions beginning to overwhelm you.

"do you think maybe it's not that you can't get divorced, but rather you just don't want to?" the therapists says, and you pause as you look up at her.

"i don't think that. i know that. i've had every opportunity to file for divorce. and i'd be well within my right to, marriages have ended for less." you mumble, the words leaving your mouth at a barely intelligible volume.

but you knew matt heard you. and your words, as much as they hurt, also gave him hope. hope that he could fix things.

"you would be. but you don't want to. and i think that's a really good start the pro-"

"listen, i'm sorry, but i'm tired of these phases where i'm sitting around being his good little wife and waiting for him to decide he likes me again. i'm tired of waiting around for his love. i am tired. and i don't have the luxury of time to figure it all out because we have a child on the way. i love him and i'm angry at him and i hate that we're in this position because of him, what do i do with that?"

tears slowly fall from matt's eyes as he listens to you confess everything you've kept in from him since he'd gotten back.

"yell at me." he says.

you scrunch your eyebrows and look at him with confusion.

"what?"

matt turns his body towards you and scoots closer to your end of the loveseat.

"yell at me. scream at me. throw things at me. hit me, even-"

"-okay so no" the therapist interrupts, sticking her finger up and furrowing her eyebrows as she purses her lips.

"-just be angry at me, baby. all i've gotten from you since i've been back is indifference and silence. you're keeping it all inside and it's just bubbling and festering. be anything as long as it's with me." he pleads, reaching out to clutch your hand in his.

you sit there staring at him, your eyes slightly wide and your mouth falling slightly open as more tears dripped from your eyes. you weren't sure how to respond.

"he's right, you know. not...not about the hitting part. or the throwing things at him part. but i think you're keeping everything in because you don't know how to talk about it. so instead of talking about it, you're biting your tongue. what do you think or feel that it's accomplishing?"

"because if i...if i press pause on this here, right now, then i don't have to face the music that i have to spend my pregnancy fighting to save and rebuild my marriage and trying to regain trust in my husband. when i thought about what our life would be like when we were having our first child, it wasn't this. and i...i don't want to be here. in this place. so if i don't talk about it, if i don't confront it, i can push it aside and i can enjoy my first pregnancy the way that i want to." you cry, taking your hand from matt's and clutching the pillow that you'd begun to use as a comfort object.

"i'm so sorry. i don't know how to fix this but i will. i'll wait this time. i'll wait until you trust me again. until you love me again. i'll do whatever it takes just...please, stay" matthew cried, scooting right up next to you and grabbing your face in his hands.

you two had spent the remaining 5 minutes of the session with your foreheads touching as matthew held your face in his hands. a physical representation of his unwillingness to let go of you.

at this point, the therapist was sure that neither of you actually needed couples therapy, but she was fine being the catalyst to having the necessary conversations. often, couples find themselves needing a safe neutral space with a mediator in order to have these productive conversations but as the therapist watched you two cling to each other, she just knew.

you two would not be coming back here.

once you'd left the therapists office, you and matt walked quietly down the sidewalk towards leanne's apartment where you'd been staying recently. neither of you had said anything since you'd left the session, but both of you wanted to say something, tired of sitting in silence all of the time.

"what do you want to name him?" you blurt out, taking a moment to glance up at him before turning your gaze back to the pavement.

matt lets a small smile grace his lips, grateful for the normal topic of conversation.

"we don't know that it's a boy."

"i do."

"you're only 2 months, it's the size of a raspberry."

"he's the size of a raspberry."

"it barely has a nose, let alone reproductive organs!" matt laughs

you smile and shrug your shoulders.

"mothers intution."

"not to say that you're wrong, but i think the ultrasound might tell us before your intuition." matt teases

"you can't even see the ultrasound anyways, so i don't wanna hear it." you chuckle

"fair." he smiles, nodding his head.

you two walk in silence for a moment before you speak up.

"what about jack?"

matt stops, looking over at you.

"you want to...you want to name him after my dad?"

"oh so now you're willing to admit it's a he." you smirk, looking up at him and he just stares at you with a gentle smile.

"i like jack." he agrees, before continuing to walk alongside you.

"me too." you nod.

"you know...i think we're doing pretty well at this being friends thing"

you stay silent, not offering a response as you approached leanne's apartment building where you'd been staying lately.

"want me to walk you up?" matt offers, and you stand there for a moment before shaking your head.

"i want to come home."

"h- you want to come home?" he asks, his tone full of hope and his eyebrows going up in slight shock.

i just nod my head before intertwining my hand in his and continuing our walk down the street. matt stays silent, afraid that if he spoke up that maybe you'd change your mind or let go of his hand. so he walked alongside you, enjoying the moment that you were permitting him.

neither of you had said anything when you approached the apartment building, or when you'd walked into the loft for the first time in two months, or when you'd put on one of his t-shirts and you both crawled into bed.

it wasn't until you were both laying there, unsure of what to do next, that you spoke up.

"i don't want to be friends, matt." you say softly as you turn on your side to face him.

"what?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows and turning on his side to look at you.

"you said we were good at the being friends thing and i- i don't want that."

matt nods.

"okay. then we won't be. we'll be husband and wife. and i'll regain your trust and i'll rebuild your faith in me, little by little. i'll love you in whatever small doses you allow until i fix this. i'll wait and i'll beg and i'll crawl and i'll do whatever it takes. i love you, y/n. and i'll love you for the rest of my life" he says, reaching out and placing his hand on your cheek, rubbing his thumb across your cheek.

tears cascading down your cheeks, replacing the ones he'd wipe away.

"okay"

*************************************

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