missmiyao

[missmiyao]

Based on Without You, what if she suddenly woke up and it's 7 years before that day? Would she ever choose to date and marry Akaashi again, or would she choose to stay away from him because of what he did to her?

Would the situation become different at all?

Ah, to have the luxury to actually write that 🤓

[missmiyao]

Without You (Keiji Akaashi)

Warning: Angst, miscarriage, Akaashi is an ass here, harsh language, toxic attitude, robbery, shooting, death, health issues.

~2k words

"Please, I don't even know what to do anymore. I'm not strong enough for this. What should I do, nee chan?" You're already bawling your eyes in front of your sister.

It's just two of you, in your own house. Keiji is not here with you since he's off to work and he might be back in a week. Well, it's not like you two talk anymore.

Communication already rare, especially after you lost your first child.

"I- I can't say much, but please... Be patience. God knows you're strong enough for this, that's- that's why you can handle this! You're strong!" You could only shake your head. It's tiring. Everything is too much for you.

You and Keiji has been married for 6 years. You two met in college, hit it together and finally got married. He's the sweetest man ever, but slowly, he changed.

Everyone changed over time, and your Keiji is not exempted from that.

He loves children and so do you. After a whole year trying, right after he got a stable job, you're still you. You and him. You went to the best doctor with Keiji and you have a little condition.

Was it prolapsed uterus? You can't even remember because you're too shocked that day. Keiji did his best to console you, but all you can do is to accept reality and try your best. After all the treatment and trying, you did get pregnant after 5 years.

It's a miracle, but miracle doesn't stay for too long. You wasn't sure if it's your fault, but your doctor never says anything to you. Though, Keiji did. The first thing he said right after you lost your first child still sting your heart. Your ears could still hear his words.

"We tried for 5 years and you did what? Is it that hard to even keep yourself healthy? I should've know you're not fit to be a mother!"

He yell at you when he arrived at the hospital. He doesn't seem to care that you're in pain. It hurts, and what hurts more is how he treat you. Ever since that day, your husband becomes... Colder.

He give you cold shoulder, stay up late at work and you wonder if he really love you at all.

"You're healing. Please forget about him for this night. Take a deep breath, calm down." Your sister is someone close to you. She's the one who you tell everything.

It's not like you doesn't have a good relationship with your parents, but you never want them to worry about you. She always there for you, be with you and kind. She's the sister that you're thankful to have.

"Am I... Really that bad?" Your sister doesn't reply, but she tap her palms to your cheeks lightly and shake her head.

"You're the kindest person, ever. You're good. Never doubt yourself. Yes, Kei kun is stress but that doesn't mean he can abandoned you like this. You just had miscarriage last week and he should take a few days off to take care of you."

You wonder, why your mind because blank so sudden. Your sister is talking but all you hear is white noise. You can only nod to her words, even though you can't hear shit.

The night ended with you sleeping on the bed with your sister, hugging each other tightly.

She left the next morning since she need to attend a meeting, so you're left alone in the house.

>> I miss you.

You text your husband, wondering if he read the text. He shouldn't be that busy. You wonder if he actually got a few days off after his boss know you got into hospital. But it seems like Keiji didn't take the day off.

Although it's been a week, you do think your body doesn't recover yet. Everything is hurt. You need a break after standing for too long and such. Or maybe, that's just because you feel burdened?

Your mental state might be worst than before but what can you do? You can only sit here and moping. Perhaps, you should get the help from professional before it's too late.

Sighing, you decided you should do something. Maybe, eat something hot before leave the house.

*

"Akaashi, are you sure you're okay?" His busy body coworker keep asking.

"What?" He doesn't snap yet, but if there's another person ask this question for the fifth time, he's going to throw chair to them.

"I heard your wife had miscarriage... I thought the boss gave you days off. Shouldn't you... You know? Be there for her?" A young male, it seems. Keiji roll his eyes.

"She's capable of handling herself. One advice, don't stuck your nose to my business." Keiji finally glare at the man who shake his head.

"Listen, Akaashi. I might be young, but you need to appreciate what's in front of you. I know you're sad, but she is too. Your wife need your suppo—"

"Shut up. You're not even married yet. Why should I take any advice from you? Leave me alone and do your damn job properly!" Keiji snap and the coworker of his sigh before leave.

Keiji take a deep breath, exhale and check his phone. It's afternoon and he should go to grab lunch.

<< [My wife 🤍] I miss you.

He stare at your text. It's been a week since you lost your child and he's been working his ass off for days. Keiji stare at his calendar. 3 days, and he need to get back home and stare at your annoying face.

How could you turn from someone so sweet beautiful and an angelic into someone so annoying? You couldn't even make a good decision for once and you ruined everything he has been hoping for life.

You're the worst.

He seen your text before stand up, turn off his PC and leave.

As for you, you finally get the courage to drive to the clinic nearby. Maybe, you could ask the nurse about your condition and who to meet, so you do.

The nurse smile at you, nodding and give you a few instructions. Like 15 minutes of waiting, you finally enter a room to meet the doctor.

You think it's okay and fine. That's it.

The session last for 20 minutes and the doctor decided to set you up to meet psychiatrist next month, which you agree reluctantly. You got a card and whatever needed for the next appointment.

"Ah, I need go to the bank. Keiji forget to give me money, but he did transferred it." You park your car, slowly walks to the entrance.

It seems like there are less people. Maybe it's lunch hour but you don't mind waiting.

As you're sitting down, scrolling your phone, you sigh. Maybe you should wait outside? Grab another lunch before—

"Argh"

"Don't move. Everyone, hands up." You shivers to your spine. What just happened? You lower your phone, look at the source of the voice.

There are 3 men and each of them are holding a gun. You put down your phone, put it in the pocket and raise your hand.

Including you and other people in the bank, there are 8 person. Oh God, is this the day you will die?

"Put all the money in this bag, lady. Try anything funny, I'll shoot." He toss a bag and the lady is shaking. She slowly do what need to be done, but you can't relax.

Sure, the police will come right?

You need to calm down and everything will be fine.

"Hey, that watch looks good. Give it to me." Great, now he's robbing the other people too? You're lucky to not wear anything fancy, but surely, you have your phone with you.

You also made eye contact with one of them earlier, so they know you have your phone.

"You, lady. Give me your phone." You sigh, slowly grab your phone from your pocket. The gun is right next to your head and you wonder how will it feel.

"Wait. You can keep it. Can't get that much of money from that old ass phone." Yeah, right. The last time you get a new phone is on your wedding day.

To die.

To leave Keiji alone, just like he did to you?

6 years, then?

Still, those men didn't stop their assault and demanding things left and right. One of them stuck with you, because you're the only one holding an old phone, cracks and the volume button is actually broke.

Still, to have a gun right next to your head makes you scared a little bit.

"You're cold? This weather is fucking hot." He tried to make a conversation, it seems.

"Not really." Nothing much. Why should you talk to him.

"Hah, whatever suits you." He stare at your phone as it lit, Keiji texted you.

<< [Loml ❤️] Let's get a divorce.

<< [Loml ❤️] I can't stand you anymore.

You're reading that text, and you're sure the robber read that too. Quick, you hide your phone.

"Seriously? What's his problem?"

"Nothing... It's just..."

"Fuck, did he cheated?" You shake your head, decided it's not worth to tell any story. Besides, everyone is looking at you now.

It's embarrassing.

"Hah, you know what? Let's have a deal." He load his gun and you stare at the man with disbelief.

"W-what?" You're shaking for real now, tears flowing through your cheeks and you're clenching your robe.

"Call your husband and explain the situation. If he shows any sign of panic, I'll leave you and the others alone after we got the money." He twirl the gun and smirking at you.

Indeed, he's a psycho one.

"What... What if he didn't pick up the call?"

"Simple. I'll shoot you. Easy." He already put the gun right on your head and you shake your head.

"Please, I don't want to—"

"Shut up! I make the rules here! Call him, now!"

Shaking in fear, you call Keiji. Praying, you hope he pick up.

10 seconds of ring, he did pick up. You feel content, but not too fast.

"What is it? You know I'm working right? Be quick."

"Dear... I- I'm at the bank and there are robbers and—"

"Oh really? How cute of them to let you call me. Is this a way of you to say you found another blood clot? I'm not interested in hearing any. Leave me be. I meant it!"

He hang up and you desperately call him back, crying.

"Hahaha!" The robber beside you chuckles, finding this situation as funny.

"This is Akaashi. I'm not picking up so leave the message after the beep."

"Now, say something because it's the last thing he ever hear from you." He's about to pull the trigger.

"Keiji... I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry that I can't give you the children that we want. I'm sorry that I can't understand that you need your time alone too, and I'm sorry for needing you during this hard time. It's hard to bear the pain alone... I hope your life will be better after this. Sorry... For everything—"

"Enough! Ugh, so annoying!"

That's the last thing you hear, really. All you feel is pain and you feel your body fall to the ground. You can think of anything else, other than the coldness and your eyes are shut.

*

Keiji is sitting back at his table, continuing his editing work. His coworker had gut to turn on the news at this time on his PC. Seriously, what's wrong with him? Can he just do his job?

"Now the news. A robbery has occurred in the Xx Bank. There are only one casualty for the situation. The victim, Akaashi—"

That's what makes Keiji raised his head. Akaashi? No way. He rushed to get a clear view of the news. His coworker noticed that, so he pulled away from his seat.

Keiji stare at the news. His wife? That's his wife face right on the television. Her photo from her ID, along with her name and how she got shot to death.

The killer are also caught in the action, remain silent but one of them is smiling. He could see his shirt stained with blood, and that makes his heart stop.

Keiji can't breath anymore.

The last thing he know, he passed out.

When he woke up, he's in the hospital and his in laws and parents are there. A little fight break out but he has nothing to say.

The person he once love the most got shot to death. Maybe, this is the fitting end for him.

He wants to divorce her so much, she annoyed him so much because she couldn't even take care of their child...

Then she left him.

She will never coming back.

Oh... It's their child. Not his, not her. Theirs. Together.

Nevertheless, Keiji could only stare at the picture of his wife that he kept at home, finally regret of his action.

He should care for her more. He should be with her. In the end, losing a child is not only a pain for him, but for her too. The last memory of you is this picture of yours and your final voice mail. He could clearly hear the gunshot.

End

[missmiyao]

Slowly, Surely (Atsumu Miya)

Warning: Non con, smut warning, strong language, incorrect depiction of black magic/shaman, jealousy, gore, manipulation, vomit, video tapping, angst, gaslighting, video sharing, cursing.

~7k words.

During high school, Atsumu always thought he was invincible. He's the star. He's good in sports and maybe barely in academics but he tries his best. He tries to score everything at least average so that he could go to volleyball camp and training.

Yes, his former captain, Shinsuke Kita reprimanded his action for not doing so well for the exams.

Since that man is already gone and Atsumu already learned from his mistake, he does think he is doing well. He's now in his third year, a captain and a proud boyfriend. Maybe, I'm not really proud anymore. The first time he saw you in your second year, he tried to get to know you.

You had this different aura that none of any women he ever met match. You reject him though, not only once or twice, but you shut him down more than he could ever count. You're pretty, but not the prettiest. Although, he still wanted you for his own.

He remembers you remind him of a few things, since he's so damn persistent.

"Fine. I'll date ya, Miya. But don't make me regret this or else, ya will too." He does think it's just a common joke like all of the girls said.

Atsumu dates you and he is happy, at least for a while. For him, you're like something he couldn't get. Just like how he needs to perfect his set. When he gets the grip of that, he will feel satisfied and he wants more. He doesn't want to feel content. He wants more and more.

That was his mistake, he thinks.

The first time you and him ever had intimacy for the first time, it was during your last day of your second year. You're both 18 years old, a little bit horny and want to get off. It's not something that started as sweet. It's straightforward and simple.

After that night, he noticed you become sweeter and gentler to him. You start to smile more and he finally gets you to treat him like he's your boyfriend. That's how he started his shitty boyfriend arc. It's not his intention to treat you like shit.

Well, it's not an excuse, it's just he's bored with you. You start to become overbearing. You start to nag more and more, you're getting more annoying. Just because you're his girlfriend, you think you could say his name loudly during his service? He'll never forgive you and he reprimands you right after. You pout, apologize for your acts.

Slowly, surely he starts to dislike you. 

You start to become very clingy. Yes, he is still down for the sex and indulges in everything you will give him. It's just, it's boring. You're not the same woman that shut him down before. You're not the same person he likes from before.

"Tsumu, no. I don't want any video." You push his phone away from your pretty face. He frowned.

"Aww, come on babe. Ya think I'll let other men see ya? Yer just fer me, okay?" Okay, that's a lie. A little lie that you shouldn't know. He might or might not share your sex experience with Osamu. His stupid brother starts it first, okay? Osamu keeps telling him about how cool he is during sex and whatever, and Atsumu didn't want to lose.

"Nope." You refuse, and he sighs.

"Fine. Ya always like that. Stuck up." He starts gaslighting you into thinking of a lot of things. You slowly lift yourself from the bed and lean towards him, who is sulking at the edge of the bed. Although you're still fully clothed, he still thinks you look pretty, especially in your school uniform.

"'M not. Tsumu, please? Anythin but that." Well, your offer makes his ears perk up. He turns at you, grinning as if a kid getting candy secretly.

"Really, anythin?" Your eyes seem so innocent that he kinda feels bad about what he wants. You nod though, humming to a song that he always hears. He wondered what tune it was. He tried asking but you never answer. 

He did ask for something, and you gave it to him. Although, you never notice that he actually recorded the whole thing for fun. Yes, fun for him. Atsumu promised himself that he's not going to be the scumbag of a man that does women he once loved like shit if they ever broke up.

It is the day after he and the Inarizaki High male volleyball team won against Karasuno. Finally, they won against those pricks. Atsumu sees you at the bleacher, wearing a black shirt and long pants. Since you're not from the cheerleading team, brass team or whatever that came by bus and of course has their own fund, you're here on your own by your own money.

He sees you after he saw you talking to Aran Ojiro and Shinsuke. You look so cute and mature. Though, the cheerleader seems much prettier now. He kinda got her number a few minutes after the match ended.

"Ah, Tsumu! Congratulations! Yer team advanced to the semi-final." You hug him so tight. It reminds him that he's full of sweat and needs to take a shower or else everyone will smell how bad he is.

"Of course. Look who's leadin them. Eyy! Kita san! Aran kun!" He taps your back before greeting his seniors. You back away for a little, smiling at their interaction. When you turn around, you see Osamu Miya (the twin of Atsumu) and Rintaro Suna.

"Oh, congrats guys." You wonder if it's something, but Rintaro is smirking when he sees you. Osamu did too, but the two managed to hide their smirk so fast that you wonder if you're seeing things.

"Of course. Ma spike make the win." Osamu grinned at you, showing his biceps by curling it. You nod, even though it's a little awkward. You don't really talk to him though.

"Nah, man. My spike. Can't you see how four eyes are surprised by my attacks?" Rintaro stared back at Osamu, which he scoffed at.

"Ya, whatever. What ya think?" Osamu asks, and you blink a few times.

"Well... I do think it's Tsumu's set that leads to victory." You look so cheerful and happy that Osamu pitied you.

Well, he can't say he didn't feel any ounce of guilt after what happened. The whole team is involved in this and of course, your sweet Atsumu is the one who makes this become reality.

"Really? I do think he's shit. Whatever. Thanks fer cheerin us, missus. Must cost a lot to travel here and watch that dumb playin like shit." Osamu stares at Atsumu, who seems to notice his trash talk.

"Oh, it's fine. It's not all the time." You wave at the two, before tapping Atsumu on the back. He's a little startled, but turns his head to you.

"Ya, sweetie?" He winks and that makes you blush a little.

"I'm goin to get some food, okay? Rest well, Tsumu." You finally leave the scene and that makes Shinsuke shift all of his attention to the current captain of Inarizaki.

"What did ya do?" His tone is harsh, but Atsumu stares at Shinsuke with a gasp.

"What is it, Kita san? I've done nothin!" That's what he claimed but Shinsuke knows he did.

"I dunno what ya did, but lemme remind ya. Don't ya hurt her. When karma strikes back, ya will beg and kneel for her forgiveness." Shinsuke leaves right after he said that, along with Aran who looks away.

Atsumu wonders if anyone says anything to Shinsuke, but he made everyone pledge so it should be safe!

*

You stare dagger at the toilet door. You did enter the toilet first, but you know the voices that are talking now.

"Tsumu and I are talkin now! He seems so sweet!" Ha? What is this bitch is talking about? There's only one Tsumu and it is your Tsumu. Atsumu Miya, no one else. Only one, exclusively in Inarizaki High.

"Ya sure? He has a girlfriend. Ya should back off and not actin like a bitch." See, her friends even tell her to go off. That's a girl's girl.

"What? Really? I didn't know. He told me he's single and ready to mingle. Ya want to tell me he lied to me?" Now, you feel a little bit sorry for calling her a bitch. She didn't know? How? Atsumu seems to talk to you publicly. Is she blind or has selective viewing?

"Of course ya didn't know! Ya always too absorbed durin yer cheer! That's why ya couldn't see he's flirtin with his girlfriend! She's in the same class as Suna." Somehow, this gossip is pretty wild even for you.

To go out and reveal yourself, telling them Atsumu is yours is so... Tempting. 

"Is she pretty?"

"Yer more pretty, but hey. Don't. Ya can have Osamu. He seems more mature and awesome." Okay, you need to see these girls.

"Yeah, yeah. I have my own standards, okay? Sheesh. Though, I was kinda interested in last year's player, the libero. Too bad he didn't come today."

You decided to not eavesdropping anymore. You settle your toilet business before going to the nearest convenience store. The semi-final would start in the evening, so you could get your lunch or walk around the area.

*

"Ya can't be serious, Tsumu? Really?" Osamu's tone sounds like he's not interested but his hand placement doesn't match his tone. It's night and they won the semi-final. The final of Spring High is tomorrow, and the whole team can't sleep.

"Well~ Sorry fer yer single ass, Samu. Ya can shut the fuck up and cry or shut the fuck up and watch with me." Atsumu is holding his phone. At first, it does look like a pretty innocent chat between a girlfriend and a boyfriend. But that's not all.

Slowly, surely, it starts getting dirtier and dirtier. Atsumu knows you book a hotel room all alone. Oh, he would love to come and visit if only coach Kurosu didn't glare at him earlier. 

"Share with me too." Rintaro suddenly plops his heavy body on top of Atsumu, which he scowls and yells.

"Get away, Sunarin! Yer heavy as a corpse!" Rintaro rolled his eyes.

"As if you're not heavier than me, prick. Show me too." He gets in the middle of the futon and of course, the second and first years decided to not join. As if they're not guilty though.

"Maybe I should put this on the TV, so that yer stupid cum didn't get around me and ma futon."

Atsumu did have the nerve to become the scumbag he swore he didn't want from before. Coach Kurosu is in another room with the other coach, perhaps sleeping like a log. No one will come in and no one ever finds out.

"Yo first year, second year. Come."

You promised a video to Atsumu if he won and yeah, here you are, half naked- you keep your thighs on because that's what your Tsumu wants, apparently. You sent the risky video to him, trusting him so much that you didn't know that all of his teammates get off from your video that you offer only to him.

In the morning for the final, you're wearing your casual outfit. You go to a sweater in black, white shirt and a short skirt with black thighs. It's a little cold, but you have your heat pack. Your eyes glimmer when you see Atsumu. 

"Tsumu!" Oh, how sweet you are, calling his name.

"Sweetie! Ya stay and see me win, 'kay?" You nod at his words as he walks towards his teammates. Again, you noticed this weird stare at smirk among them. It's either they shared it around the team, or it's to you.

You got the chill, but whatever.

During the whole match, it's intense. You didn't get to sit at the front, but hell, you got the chill when the rally keeps on going. The passes, everything. Nevertheless, your school managed to win second place. You know Atsumu would not be happy about getting number 2, but you still need to console him.

He did huff and puff for the night, but it's manageable. You tried cheering him up in a lot of ways and it's working. He did leave your hotel room all happy and smiling. 

Now, it's near the end of your high school with him. You have finished all of your exams and maybe, you can just skip school. Though, people always want to spend their time with their friends since they might go to college in another prefecture.

That day, you thought about going back with Atsumu, but he said that he's going to play volleyball for the last time with his friends. You let him do so and walk back alone. There are two things that happened after that.

First, the second year Heisuke Riseki suddenly urged you to talk. You did, before you went back home. But you do remember his house is also the same way as yours, so you offer him to walk with you.

"I do feel guilty, so I need to tell ya this." You kinda weirded out of why, but you smile.

"Why? Did Tsumu tell ya to prank me? Silly him." You chuckle, and Heisuke shakes his head violently. When you two are a little too far from school and public, he immediately stops and kneels to you.

You gasped at his action.

"Ri- Riseki! Stand up!" You pull him to get up, but he refuses. He starts crying and you're genuinely worried.

"I'm sorry, senpai. I- I'm just a coward." He wipes his tears and you finally kneel down too.

"Tell me, what yer worried about? Why yer cryin?" 

"Promise me, ya will not yell at me. Ya can slap me, kill me if ya want."

You nod, promise to stay quiet and listen to everything. Slowly, he tells you. 

"Atsumu san shared yer intimate videos with all of us, the whole team. He- Yeah, he didn't send it to the group but he put it on TV, showin it on his phone. It happened a lot of times. The Inter High, the Spring Tournament. I- I'm sorry that I joined! Yes, yer pretty, I like yer thighs-"

You slap him in the face, twice. You take a deep breath, before stare at him.

"Is that all? What claim ya have to say that it's true?" You pull him to stand in front of you. Even though he is taller, Heisuke knows you're the one who holds the power of everything.

"I... I didn't have the videos, swear! But... Um..." He looks away, and you slap him again. This time, his upper lips got cut.

"How can I know yer not lyin to my face?" You're angry and Heisuke gulps.

"Atsumu san told us that yer sensitive on the back of yer neck and... Ya have a purple sex toy. It has-" You can't ever hear whatever he's saying now. Everything feels so void right now. All you hear is white noises. Heisuke doesn't even talk at this point because he sees your pale face.

But you can only listen to the white noise.

Anger, embarrassment, betrayal. Everything. You gave Atsumu Miya your trust but this is how he repaid you? Fuck him.

"I'm goin to apologize again, senpai. I'm so sorry and I know it's fucked up."

"Yer forgiven. It's not yer fault 100%. But hey, thanks for tellin me. I appreciate this." 

*

Atsumu noticed you're a little gloomy and weird. You started to turn like your old self before you started having sex with him. He didn't comment, he does appreciate that you're somehow far from him. He starts thinking about breaking up with you because he knows he's going pro after high school. He needs no distraction.

Though, seeing you and Osamu giggling over something that is totally not funny at all makes him irks.

"Hahaha! Yer so funny, Samu san." You called his brother Miya san before, but how can it be Samu san? You speak to his twin so sweetly that it makes him sick. Also, the way Osamu is eyeing you is making him fuming in anger.

"Really? Well, of course. I'm the better twin though. Dump his dumb ass and date me, sweet thing." Atsumu is ready to smack the shit out of Osamu because his joke is too much, but seeing you laughing, it makes him... Scared.

"Ahaha! Aww, that's cute. Nice try. Ah, Samu san. Yer sayin that ya want to get somethin from the store, right? I want to get a few things too!" Atsumu flinched because you didn't invite him.

"Oh yeah, yer right. Wan somethin, Tsumu?" Atsumu couldn't join you two if he wanted to. He has a pressing matter after this, an online interview that he can't miss if he wants to try for a professional team.

"Ah- oh... Just, whatever-"

"Then nothin then." You walk first, leaving the twins fighting but of course, you notice how Atsumu stares at you.

That night, you spend the night at the twins house. Your parents? Both died. Their parents? Working. It was supposed to be good, last night that Atsumu thought before breaking up with you. But, seeing Osamu clearly flirting with you right in front of his eyes sparks jealousy.

You seem so oblivious to his flirting and even his touch. 

"Ya really good at cookin, Samu san. Ya should teach me how to cook. I can only say I'm good at baking." You're glad the younger Miya let you use the kitchen.

"Sure. I can cook every single meal out there. Gimme the recipe and give me a few times to adjust and poof! Tasty." Again, Atsumu sees you giggling and shit with Osamu. Oh, how he wants this interview to end faster. He's going insane to see Osamu hugging your waist just like how he always does.

"Mmph- don't touch me there. I'm ticklish." You pinch Osamu when he intentionally presses his finger against your hips.

"Ah, sorry." He apologised, slowly removing his arm away. You hum, start to bake something for the night.

When Atsumu finished the interview of who knows how many hours has passed, he ran to the kitchen to meet you. Osamu, urgh, he's still there. So annoying. 

"What ya bakin, baby?" You hum in silence when you feel Atsumu holding your waist with both of his hands. He's leaning against you and he's heavy. You're sick to your stomach.

"I'm makin a special pie for ya. Ya will eat it all, will ya?" You're smiling at him and he nods.

"Sure. I'll eat what my best girl cook fer me." 

Thus, Atsumu decided to abort the plan of breaking up with you. Seeing Osamu, he looks like he's ready to fuck you when he knows you're single. Atsumu knows, judging by how he watches his twin closely. Ever since he let Osamu watch your pretty video, he knows Osamu is looking at you as if you're a 5 course meal.

"'M bored. Did ya two have to get lovey-dovey in front of me?" Osamu yawns, already bored because of how fast Atsumu is back from the interview.

"Hell, get yer own girlfriend." Atsumu yells.

"Nah." Osamu replied, smirking and staring right at your ass, right in front of Atsumu. You're oblivious though, continue to bake your pie for the night.

"Samu, if ya don't stop it... I'll kill ya." Osamu shrugs, before deciding to turn his attention to his phone.

Right after you put the pies into the oven, Osamu's phone rings. It seems like Rintaro is aching to make Osamu give back his magazine from before.

"Urgh, Suna is so damn annoyin. I'm goin out for a while. Don't make any mess in the kitchen, 'kay?" He grabs his sweater and goes back to the room. Less than 10 minutes later, Osamu was already out of the house. Atsumu and his usual antics, he tried getting into your skirt. Nah, your panties.

"Tsumu, Samu said-"

"Forget about that prick. Focus on me, sweetie."

When the pie is done, you take it out of the oven and present it to Atsumu. He wonders why you only take one out.

"Oh, that's for Osamu. I promised him I would bake him one. Thus, I baked two!" Atsumu rolled his eyes but he still ate what you baked for him.

"It's so good, sweetie! Ya really have a talent for baking."

"I know, Tsumu. I know."

*

Atsumu Miya. The new setter for MSBY Black Jackals. He's proud of himself but somehow, he doesn't. He started to develop a few things in life. He starts to get sick so easily. He did go to the doctor, but they only gave him some pills for pain, and such. 

"Ya okay, Tsumu?" And you, you're still with him. It's not like he hates you. He can't just let you go. You're so sweet, cooking, cheering and cleaning his house and everything. You're so good at what you're doing and he can't find himself doing any of this.

"Mmm yeah. Just a little tired. I kept coughin between sets and Sakusa sprayed a fucking hand sanitizer on my direction. Weirdo." He yelled when Sakusa did that, but who can blame Sakusa? Atsumu sounded like he had TB or something.

Sakusa nearly, nearly pushed him to the hospital to get a check and... Nothing. Nothing. The doctor said he is healthy and that makes the man fed up.

"Aww, poor ya. I'll get ya some tea, kay?" Oh hell, you're an angel sent for him.

"Thanks, sweetie."

"Anytime."

You come back with a chamomile tea. It smells so good and Atsumu feels like he's going to sleep right after shower. He sips your drink, and the good girlfriend you are, you're massaging his scalp and shoulder.

Atsumu went to take a shower while you do your skincare routine before you go to bed. Atsumu finally gets to rest, and he sees you sleeping. As he's about to sleep, he coughs out loud. It happened a few times and it hurt his chest so much.

He slowly sits down, realising that he starts feeling hot all over his body.

"Sweetie? Baby?" He tried shaking you to wake up but to no avail. You're a heavy sleeper. He frowns, realising he needs to deal with this alone. He feels like he's having a fever. Atsumu stands up, still coughing and goes to the kitchen to drink some water.

He's still coughing, so he slowly waits for his throat to feel a little better before sipping the water. It felt good for a while but he didn't feel good after all. Atsumu does think he should go to sleep. 20 minutes, that's the longest sleep he ever had before he coughed again.

It's frustrating when it happened for the third time of the night. 

He's all flush, sweaty and everything is hot. Going to the kitchen, he grabs his whole water bottle that you always fill before he goes to practice in the morning and fills it with water. Atsumu finally goes back to the room, drinks a few times when he thinks he's going to cough and gets to sleep at 4 in the morning.

"Morning, Tsumu. It's already 7. Ya have practice at 8." You wake him up so gently, so sweet that he feels bad to yell at you.

"Mmm- really?" His throat feels scratchy. Yet, he needs to wake up and take a shower. He's working as a professional volleyball player now. A little sickness couldn't stop him.

"Yes. I'm going to make a quick breakfast fer ya. Go and take a shower." You cup his forehead before leaving your shared bedroom. It's just easy pancakes. Atsumu did eat one, coughing, but managed to finish and go to train.

You smile, waving at him as he's gone.

You hum, clean and wash the dishes like you always do. Oh, Atsumu Miya. You would never know.

And everything starts to become worse. Atsumu noticed that he started to cough blood. Each time he brushes his teeth and spit, it's blood. Sakusa is so close again to shove him to the emergency room and Bokuto is already yelling about a lot of things that he didn't want to hear about.

Is he really going to die?

"Mr. Miya, you're as fit as a fiddle. As you can see, from this x-ray, this urine test, blood test. Nothing. I couldn't find anything weird. You're healthy." Maybe the doctor is already annoyed by him, but he wonders why.

"I see... Thanks doc." And he left.

Atsumu has a big game in a few weeks, so he hopes that his weird condition is not going to let him down. Though, how wrong he was. He passed out a week after training. Sakusa yells, because he swears he saw rashes on Atsumu's neck and back. Of course, the captain, Meian, calls for you, Atsumu's girlfriend.

You came, smiling at the team members and they helped to bring Atsumu to you.

"He just needs a little rest. He'll be fine." You assured them. Of course, Meian thinks this is weird, but he never says a word.

You let Atsumu sleep or whatever it is on your thighs, humming a song that you always hum from high school. When he woke up, he jolted because he dreamed of something bad. He couldn't remember when you asked, but he's scared.

"It's fine, Tsumu. Let's go home eh? Ya must be hungry." You're the one driving his car back and he stares out of the window. He wonders what's going on in his life. What did he ever do wrong?

*

"Okay, so listen Kaashi! Tsum Tsum is having a weird condition." Bokuto is going out with Akaashi and Konoha. Konoha went to the toilet because of the stupid dare from Bokuto to finish 2 bottles of drinking water. His bladder is killing him.

"What condition?" Akaashi doesn't seem interested but he's indeed listening.

"Like, he's coughing, looks sick and pale all the time. He went to the doctor though, a lot of time but the doctor said he's all healthy! I wonder why." Bokuto bites his steak, chewing it slowly and utter the word delicious a few times.

"Do you think something else was involved?" Akaashi asks. He's not an expert but he does have experience with this.

"What?" Bokuto is still chewing, but he's listening.

"You know, like black magic?" Bokuto didn't say anything. He stared at Akaashi for a long time, before shaking his head.

"I didn't know what that was." Akaashi sighs, but he starts to eat after he sees Konoha is back. The three enjoy their food but somehow, Bokuto thought of a few things. Black magic, huh? He wonders if Atsumu has done something to someone that makes them so mad and did this to him.

Though, it's just an assumption.

*

You yawn, staring at the wall. Atsumu is sleeping soundly. Urgh, how you wanted to strangle him. Suddenly, he jolted and grabbed your wrist.

"Babe-"

"Yes, Tsum?"

"I- Sorry. I had this nightmare and when I woke up, I forgot." He coughs a few times and you give him his water bottle. You hope he dies by choking.

"Tsumu, Samu called ya earlier. I picked up the phone." You remember he phone rings and when you pick up, Osamu yells a lot of things but he tones it down when you say it's you.

"Oh... What did he say?" He drinks and his throat feels a little better. Perhaps he should try the throat lozenges that Sakusa told him about.

"He kinda missed ya. He hopes ya will visit his restaurant."

"Hah, no way." 

"That's why he said he's comin! Osamu will be here in... 20 minutes max." You smile at him, and Atsumu's jaw loosens. It's wide open now.

"20 minutes?! That's crazy. I haven't-"

"No worries, Tsum! I've got the food and drinks done. The apartments are all clean too." Though, that's not what he's worried about. He's worried about you. You're not even changed into modest clothes.

Yes, you can do whatever you want but there's no way Atsumu is going to let you open the door so wide to greet Osamu with you wearing a tank top and that short pants. It's like you've asked to get spank.

"Can ya... Change yer clothes? Samu's comin. Though, I wanna take a nap. Can ya wake me when he's here?" He cover his mouth and you stare at him for a while. You hums, standing up. Right before he fall asleep... Atsumu do think he heard something.

As if he never sees me naked.

And when Atsumu opens his eyes wide, you're not in the room anymore.

When Osamu arrives, you greet him with your usual smile. He brought food with him. You show the way in, and he gladly enters.

"Where's that pig?" He undo his shoes and you hum.

"He's takin a nap. I'll wake him up in a while. Sit first, I'll get ya a drink." Osamu nods, before he looks around the house. It's still like how he visited before. Atsumu living with you might be the reason why this place is clean or else, it's just like a dumpster.

You come back with hot cocoa, three cups of it. As you serve, you notice how Osamu stares at you.

"Stop it, Osamu san." You finally had enough of him fucking you with his eyes. He's so obvious that it makes you sick to the stomach.

"Sorry~ Just, starin. So, when will Tsumu propose to ya?" You put down his drink and sigh.

"When he's ready. I'll wake him up." You didn't let Osamu say any other words as you left.

Yeah, maybe Atsumu will die before he gets to do that.

Atsumu slowly drinks his hot cocoa that turns a little cold. His throat is hurting, and he does feel like his body is hot. He feels like his foot is getting pricked by needles and he doesn't like it at all. He hopes it will go away.

He does see how Osamu tries to flirt with you again, but this time, you ignore him. Perhaps, you're tired of the shit spewed to you.

"I've heard yer sick, Tsumu. What the heck just got into ya? Are ya okay?" You decided to not hear the twins talking about his alleged sickness, so you stand up and go to the kitchen.

"Well, I do think I have a fever and such. Feels like I'm dyin, ya know?" Osamu hums, before he looks at his twin with a serious gaze.

"How about ya go out tonight, come with me and the boys fer a while?"

"Well, she might-"

"I'm sure she will be happy to not hear yer crazy cough for a while. But, wear a face mask or else anyone would call an ambulance fer ya." So, that's how you stare at the two grown ass men, leaving the living room. You cross your arm, staring at the finished hot cocoa.

Just a little more then.

Atsumu is not a fan to hang out anymore after he's busy preparing for every single match. He wants everything to be perfect and good. Just when he passed out before, he did think it's embarrassing. He took great care of his health!

Osamu drove him to a nearby restaurant that was definitely not his restaurant. Wow, it's an evolution. Osamu always wanted to increase his sales, so he often brought Atsumu to purchase food from his restaurant.

"Yow, Kita san! Aran kun~" Osamu is the first one waving at the two. Atsumu noticed Rintaro was also there, along with his girlfriend. Perhaps the newest one but he couldn't remember who is who. It's not important.

Nevertheless, Atsumu takes a seat available and stares at the menu. He's not in the mood to talk.

"Hi." He lifts his head from the menu and looks at the girl.

"Hey." Slowly, Atsumu removes his face mask.

"I'm Rika." He nodded, and decided that it's not worth flirting with her. Although, it seems like Rika has something else in mind.

"Are you okay, Miya san?" Weird. Why would she ask that? He stared at her with a judgemental stare, but she didn't mind.

"Why yer askin? Shouldn't ya ask yer boyfriend?" He sounded bitter, but Rintaro rolled his eyes.

"Shut up silly. Be polite to Rika chan here." Rintaro said. While the two start arguing, Shinsuke and Aran leave the restaurant.

"I'll cut the chase then. Miya san, you... Have something else in your body." Atsumu stares at the girl as if she has two heads.

"What?"

"I've heard from Suna kun that you're having a lot of things. Sickness, vomiting, coughing for more than two weeks, went to the doctor and did all the tests and everything is... Normal." This seems to pique Atsumu's interest.

"Tell me, girly. Are ya a doctor?" Perhaps he could be healthy, like real healthy to win his first official match.

"No, but I-"

"Then, why should I trust ya?"

"Oh Tsumu, shut up. Listen." Osamu came back with two bowls of noodle soup in his hands. The man finally sighs, agreeing to listen.

"My grandmother is a shaman and she usually deals with things like this. I always watch her do this and she lets me be because I have the sense of it." Atsumu scoffed, clenching his jaw.

"What? What yer tryin to say?" 

"Miya san, I can see something is... Staying inside your body. It's eating you from the inside. It's very dark and cruel." Atsumu do think this is a fucking bullshit. Why would Osamu bring him out if all he heard is this shit?

"Oh come on! Suna, ya really have this freak as-"

"This creature is usually sent by someone who hates you. If you ever did something bad to someone, you should apologize. Also, since this thing can only affect people when they consume the food made by the perpetrator for a long time, when the sickness hits, it's going to be very slow and painful. Slowly, surely poisoning every single cell of your body and it can't be detected with technologies. Usually, any person who uses this black magic wants that person to die."

Atsumu shut his mouth right after hearing that. He gulped, thinking for a minute. Eating food? The only food that he eats is only from you, his mother, his stupid brother and yeah, cafeteria. Wait... You?

The one he's living with?

"Tsumu?" Osamu stops eating when he notices Atsumu covers his mouth. His tears start to form and it slowly drips to his cheeks.

"Oh God..."

"What?" Rintaro stares at Atsumu too, since he never sees the blond twin shut up.

"Oh my God. She knows! She knows about the video!" Now it all makes sense. The way you stare at him like you hate him for his whole life, the way you keep cooking for him, the way you always have this frown and fake smile.

You're lying to him this whole time.

"Who?" Osamu yells, and thankfully, they're the only customers at the restaurant after Aran and Shinsuke leave.

"My girlfriend! She knows! That's the only explanation." Atsumu didn't know how to react. He's panicking. Everything feels wrong. Now, he harbours this feeling to you. Scared. He's scared of you.

"Okay, relax. How would your girlfriend even know black magic or whatever it is?" Rintaro gulp. He wonders if this is the truth. He doesn't really believe any of these but seeing Atsumu coughing, vomiting blood and the test results are all good, he starts to have doubts about this.

"Well, Rin... This creature is actually passed down to family members. I- I didn't know what you three were talking about but it can be healed. You just need to apologize-"

"She will never forgive me. Never." Atsumu pushes his noodle soup away, trembling in fear. You're poisoning him? Since when? When did you know about the video?

"Have ya been to her house?" Osamu asks, and Atsumu nods.

"Makes sense... Her house is a little old. Have a few things or two that I didn't know. Her grandmother is from Southeast Asia-" Atsumu coughs and this time, he vomits blood and nails. He's choking badly, his throat feels bad and the sharp end of the nail is scratching everything in the way.

"Fuck! Atsumu!" Rintaro pulls Rika away, and Atsumu coughs again. He can't breathe. He feels like there's something else in his mouth so he panics, trying to pull it out.

Osamu watched the scene in horror, how his twin brother pulled a long strand of black hair out of his bloody mouth.

"Wh-what?" Atsumu feels like he's indeed going to die. He feels something else is coming, so he pulls away from the table and throws up again. This time, it's nasty maggots and it's still moving.

"Oh- Atsumu!" Osamu is the first one to move, giving him water or anything so he could wash his mouth. Rika gulped, staring at the whole situation.

"It feels like... It doesn't like to be mentioned." Rika mutters.

"I- I don't know how to react." Rintaro stares at the moving maggots. He wants to puke too now. Osamu immediately went to get the staff. He will clean the mess since he's the one that brought Atsumu here.

"I should apologize to her... I betrayed her trust." Atsumu is about to go crazy. You must be in pain so much for living with him after he shared the video of you with his friends. Hell, he promised you a lot but the scumbag he is... He betrayed your trust.

"Atsumu, that woman is crazy. You should leave her. She-"

"Shut up, Sunarin. Ya watched her videos too. You fucked yer fist to her too! Shut up! Yer guilty too! Yer lucky she didn't curse ya just like she did to me!" Rika didn't say anything. She knows it's the past of Rintaro. Rintaro shut his lips tight, decided to not say a word.

"I should... Apologize too then."

"No need." 

The three of them were startled. Rika feels the chill when she hears the voice. Atsumu slowly raises his head and he sees you. You're wearing his MSBY jacket and short pants. Osamu almost drops the pail of water when he sees you standing right there.

"I know what ya did, Tsumu. In fact, I've known since our last day in high school." You walk closer to Atsumu and nobody even moves a muscle.

Atsumu didn't meet your gaze, but even if he does, he's crying.

"Must be fun, right? Sharin my sexy videos to yer friends, tellin them what I like and dislike, talkin about how good yer in bed. I fuckin trust ya, traitor. That explained those stupid smirks exchanged between everyone! Oh, here I thought I'm the weird one. You bitch!" You smack Atsumu's head hard.

He fell from the chair forward, face nearly kissing the jiggly maggots if he didn't act fast.

"I do think of cursing every single one of ya, but to think it's goin to be a pain in the ass. I hate ya, Atsumu." He slowly moves to meet your angry gaze.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I-I never did that after high school anymore." 

"Yeah. Perhaps if yer well, ya might sharin those videos with yer new teammates. I don't know if I could ever face Sakusa or Bokuto next time." Rintaro looks like he wants to say something, but he knows he should bite his tongue in this situation.

"I'm sorry. Must be hell to live with someone like me." He grabs your legs, kneeling, crying with his ugly face and full of snorts.

"Yeah. It is."

"Did ya still love me?" His question met with your silence, and all you do is stare at Osamu, Rika and Rintaro.

It took you two seconds to remove Atsumu from your legs.

"Figure it out, idiot. I'll remove the curse from ya and we shall never meet again." You walked out of the restaurant. Atsumu should be delighted but somehow, he feels sad, lonely and empty. You're not here with him.

*

A year passed. You simply watch from the bleacher, on how Atsumu is serving for the match. If he manages to land this one, MSBY is going to win. He still looks the same. The stupid haircut, the hair colour, everything that you love about him.

It hurts you, knowing that he tried to find you that night. You heard from Shinsuke that he looks for you like a crazy person. He's yelling here and there and nearly gets arrested because he disrupts the peace of the public in the middle of the night.

It also hurts you when Shinsuke expresses how Atsumu cried that night. He lost you. You didn't come back and you block him through and through. 

You had Shinsuke's contact because that man is your cousin. Being Shinsuke, he knows you at least better than anyone else. You do have this ability that you inherited from your grandmother. You can curse people, putting them into misery. You also have it, who serves you.

Although, you already let it go. You travel to your grandmother's country for 3 days to calm your mind. You put it in a bottle, seal it tight before throwing it to the sea. You hope that no one is stupid enough to open the sealed bottle to release the creature.

Your mind snapped back to reality when Atsumu's serve managed to make MSBY win the match. Everyone is cheering for him, and you could only clap your hands. He seems happier it seems. You shouldn't come here.

You slowly get up, before deciding to leave before the players could start thanking the fans. Yet, someone caught you.

"Wait." You pull your wrist from that person and glare.

"What, Miya?" It's Osamu, and you hate it how he's so close to the door that leads to the exit.

"I never had a chance to apologize properly to ya. I know I should be mad at ya fer makin Tsumu like that, but it hurts me more when he's in more pain without ya." You don't understand his words.

"Yer lyin. He hates me. I almost killed him, okay? Ya two should just leave-"

"Then what yer doin here? Ya missed him too, right? That's why yer standing here, wearing his jersey number. Yer just want to see him from far. Stop it. Just, talk like a normal couple." Osamu must be sick. There is no way Atsumu would want to talk to you. Hell, he should be cursing you to death after this.

"Lies. I don't want to trust any of ya. I'm leavin." You do have these heavy feelings lingering in your chest. You cry? Yes.

"Sweetie?"

You wonder how he got here so fast without fans jumping on him. All you want is to leave. He has his own life and it should stay like that. You immediately rush towards the exit and run to your car. You thought you're fast, but you'll never beat Atsumu in speed. He's already inside your car right after you lock your door.

"Quit it, Miya!"

"I can't. Please... I love ya so much that it hurts. It hurts me more than vomitin nails and hairs." He's crying and fuck, why you're too?

"I can't understand why ya still love me, Tsumu. Leave, please? Be happy without me. I can't be with you. I hurt ya." He grabs both of your cheeks, squeezing it together.

"I hurt ya first. I betrayed ya first. Ya just get back at me. I'm wrong. I'm sorry. Please, don't leave me. Let's just forget about this and start a fresh life together? Please? My love." The way he called you, he's so whipped and you can't say no.

"I'm sorry too, Tsumu..." The two of you broke down, crying in your car that evening. Still, it's worth it. Atsumu did get yelled at because he ran and such but those are nothing compared to being with you.

End

[missmiyao]

Like That (Tobio Kageyama)

Warning: Toxic relationship, miscommunication, jealousy, one night stand, wrong/incorrect depictions of works ethics, explicit language, smut warning, dirty talk, noncon picture taking, stalking, coercion, non consensual, dubious consent, rape, mention of drugs.

I wrote this without thinking much of the plot but somehow, managed to finish it. ~5k words. Heavily emphasize on female reader.

You thought the long relationship could at least make you know him better. You do hope he does know you better too. You know Tobio Kageyama from middle school, high school and still remain as friends until you finish your college year, graduate and have a job while he continues to become a professional volleyball player. He even played for the Japan National Team when he was just 19 years old.

Support? You always support his decision. He wants to try this team? Go, Tobio. You are great. He has a problem? You'll listen to them from night to dawn, even though you have a very important meeting with a very important person the next day.

You do think you're another friend of Tobio. Well, you're not a manager or anything during your whole high school life with him, but you're a close fan. Respect, it's what you always have to him. He's the same age as you. Although he is always his usual self that lacks in terms of communication, you know he tries.

During your final year in high school, you heard Shoyo Hinata talk to him.

"Hey, Kageyama. I know this is not related to volleyball, but I do want to ask this." You were there because Tobio promised you that he would walk you home. You told him it is not necessary, but he insisted. Your houses are close to each other too, so he doesn't mind.

"What?" His tone is always like that, either talking to you or Shoyo.

"Are you and her dating?" Shoyo mentioned your name, and you remain static behind the front door. Both of them didn't notice you at all.

"We're not dating, idiot. Back to training. Stop thinking of these useless things." He is always like that. You decided to ignore the ache you felt in your heart.

"Really? You two were so close! Even Tsukishima said you two are dating, if not, doing something behind our backs!" He claimed and Tobio rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"We're not dating. Fact. Get that inside your head. Pass the ball!" His tone became higher and started to become defensive.

"Tobio Kageyama. Listen to me. Only an idiot like you couldn't tell that she likes you. Hah, in love may be the perfect word. Can't you see how she looks at you?" Your heart beats faster when you hear this. Somehow, Shoyo and the others see it?

"Are you high, Hinata? Stop it." Again, with his defensive tone.

"I know you like her too Kageyama, but you refuse to do anything. You can't let her go. You don't want her to date any other man, that's why you always remain on her side silently but you're too stupid and path-minded. That's why you didn't want to be with her either. Man, you're weak!" 

Tobio didn't say anything and Hinata refused to provoke him any longer. 

You see them practice before deciding to close the door. The night wind of March never did anything to you other than deep thinking.

Maybe, you didn't read him wrong. Maybe, Tobio does like you just like how you're head over heels for him. 

30 minutes later, the gym door finally opens and you see Tobio first.

"Hey, Tobio." Your smile is like usual. He stares at you and nods.

"Let's go back." He didn't waste any time and you agree. You wave back at Shoyo when the three of you part ways.

That's in high school. During your college year, you remember that Tobio called you. He said that he has this problem and you meet him that night. He cried, telling you about what he felt. His sets don't feel good, everyone starts to say a lot of things to him that's meaner than high school and he feels like he couldn't breath.

You help him to calm down and that's the first time you and Tobio ever had sex. It's inside a hotel room that he booked to calm himself. You two somehow ended up like that. You never left in the morning and he never did either.

He stays, staring at you like he usually did in high school. It confuses you when he doesn't say anything. When you wake up, he kisses your forehead as sweetly as ever and finally gets up to leave. He leaves right after that, leaving you thinking in the hotel room. 

Ever since, you two sneak to hook up whenever he is free. To you, you are always free for him. 

This continues for like a few years, until you're 24 years old.

"Um, Tobio, I want to ask something." He's cuddling you under the blanket. He just got back from his game in Ireland. He's tired, you know that, but he insists on meeting you.

"Hm? Ask then." You cup both of his cheeks while staring into his eyes. His dark blue eyes and one of the perfect haircuts he ever did really makes his face lethal to you.

"What are we?" You talked to Hitoka Yachi about this and hell, she yelled at you on the phone. She wasn't angry with your poor life decision, she just asked if you're okay or Tobio ever forced you to do this. She's worried about you.

We're friends. Why?" His words make your heart ache again after a few years. You nod at him, smiling before kissing his lips once and hug him tight. You know he wouldn't notice your tears. Not at all.

Tobio had a game the next day, so you decided to end this stupid situation-ship one-sidedly. Friends? Friends don't kiss each other on the lips. They don't have sex conveniently and definitely, do not share this kind of intimacy. You cooked for him, be his emotional supporter and such. He had the nerve to call you his friend?

You should give yourself a break. You should have more self respect.

Right after he leaves in the morning, you blocked his number and social media. Everything. Hell, you even deactivate your social media for your own sake. You didn't tell Tobio that your work changed your office to Hyogo. Somewhere in Ichikawa you're not mistaken. Though, your work doesn't stop there.

"You mean- training? Brazil?" You look at your new boss as if she's joking. It's just your third day here, and you're now going abroad?

"Wasn't it great? You don't have to worry about a single thing! Just pack your belongings for a week! All of the expenses will be covered by the company! You just go to the training and be well." Wow. Just, wow. You can't say anything much because you're new. 

You did go on company vacation or outstation or whatever it is, but you never thought you would be sent to one right after you're repositioned here. 

"No worries. I know you feel like 'oh, can I do this?' but please, I know you can. I've read your performance comments. You're more than capable. I trust you. Now, you're a part of my team and I will do my best to make sure you're well and knowledgeable!" She's a little kinder than your old boss but you're going to take it.

"Thanks, miss!"

*

A flight to Brazil sores you out. You're with your boss and the other person. She's very talkative, extroverted but she's good at her job. She's joining this training for another part of training that the company didn't cover you for.

Nevertheless, it is a good week for you. You're free from everyone you've known.

"Since we had a whole free day, why don't you two walk around and enjoy the scenery? I'm going to have a drink at the bar. Don't get lost. Anyway, have fun. I trust you two to have fun and be ready for the training at 8. We'll leave at 7 in the morning though." You decided to walk around the beach after you waved at your boss.

It's a very calm night for you. Somehow, you see someone with a ginger head that you know from high school. It took all of you to not scream at him. Lucky, he noticed you first. Shoyo is in Brazil! What is the possibility of him being in the same area like you, Rio de Janeiro?

Shoyo calls for your name, and you two end up hugging in public. It is such a relief to someone that you know, but it didn't stop there.

"Oh, you're here too?" You know that voice too well. You spend countless years with Tobio to analyse this man's skill.

"Oikawa san." You pulled away from Shoyo before stare at the older man. He's smiling at you, just like he did during middle school and high school. It is not rare for you two to cross paths.

"Well, what are you doing here? A vacation? You look like you need it." He winks at you, and you chuckle.

"Oh no. I'm on a work trip. I'll be here for the whole week for training. How about you two? I thought you're playing with a team under Argentina? Hinata's team is São Paulo, so I wonder why you're in Rio too." 

You learned that Shoyo has a game in Rio de Janeiro and Toru Oikawa has the same reason as you, training. You three ended up drinking non-alcoholic drinks for the night and enjoying ourselves. Shoyo is the first one who said that he needs to part ways because his teammates are worried about him.

"I can walk you back. My sense of location is not worse, okay?" Toru joked with you and you simply chuckled.

The two of you keep on exchanging conversation here and there. You finally know a lot of things from his perspectives, not only from Tobio.

"I've heard you and Tobio chan are dating. Congratulations! Though, it must be hard to keep up with that volleyball brain." Toru is right on one thing but wrong on another.

"Tobio and I are not dating. We're just... Friends." Yes, friends. That word hurts you so much that you cried in front of Toru. He didn't react much. He is indeed surprised, but decided to pat you on the shoulder and back a few times.

10 minutes of crying are enough to calm you down. Your eyes are red, your nose is stuffy and you don't even know what to do anymore. It's embarrassing enough to cry in front of your senior in middle school, but it is more embarrassing when he starts giving advice about relationships.

You cut him off after a while.

"I don't think he's ready. He's just volleyball oriented. He has his own life to do, and I have mine." The walk became so slow, that you felt like the supposedly 20 minutes walk became an hour.

"Yeah, but if he wants you to be in his life, he will fight for it no matter what. Trust me. Look, you know Nicollas Romero, the world-class player? He has a son. Thus, he's married when he's like, 22? If a man wants you, he will do his best to be with you." You hum at his statement.

Maybe, you're just a piece that he can toss whenever he wants. All of his aim, his life is all volleyball oriented. If you're going to cause chaos of that balance, he will push you away. That's why he refuses any relationship. That's why he said he's single. That's why you two are just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Sorry. It's not my business to talk about this to you. Now, let's get you back to your hotel room safe and sound." He walks first and before you know, you pull his wrist back.

"I don't want to go back. Not now." You saw glint in his orbs when you said that. You know Toru is not stupid are a fool. Even Tobio is not that dense in this situation.

"Mhm? Then, what are you suggesting now? Don't play coy this time." He pulls his wrist away from you and somehow, you start trembling.

"Since... Well, you know-"

"I don't. Speak clearly." His command makes you shiver. The Toru Oikawa in front of you now is not the same person you know. You gulp, taking a deep breath before exhaling.

"Can I spend the night with you?" He didn't respond, but he slowly crossed his arms.

"Why? What are you planning?" You shake your head.

"I'm not planning anything. You can just say no, Oikawa san. I respect that. Maybe we should go." You start walking and before you know it, he pulls you by your waist. Your chest is touching his front and you feel his heavy breathing.

"I didn't say no. I'm just looking at any possibilities from you, non-verbally." You firmly grab his shoulder.

"It's just a one time thing, Oikawa. One night will not change anything. Tobio and I had been sneaking around for years and we still remain as friends. Just friends. One night of you fucking me on any surfaces would not suddenly change our relationship. I know you, you know me. I'm your junior and you're my senior." He sees courage in your eyes. You heard Toru lets out chuckles.

You always saw him laugh, but never heard him chuckles this close. Too intimate for you.

"Your boss might be looking for you though. I can't risk hearing any phone calls during sexy times." He didn't touch you more than your waist. You admire his self control and perhaps, his respect towards you.

"I don't care. All I care about is leaving for work at 7."

That's how you and Toru hooking up for the night. You weren't sure how you ended up in this cramp room in the resort or whatever. You haven't got a good look at it. All you feel is Toru and Toru. 

Maybe you're just using him to forget your frustration towards Tobio. Toru must have known that when he heard what you suggested earlier. But, if he didn't want to be a part of it, he would never agree on doing this. 

"Do you have a condom?" You ask him and he nods.

"I've always kept spare in my wallet." He's laughing and you want to slap that cheeky face of his. He's toying with you.

"Whatever. You're clean, right?" You undo your shirt first and he stops.

"I am, okay? I have the report on my phone. We all get tested before every season. How about you?" He shoves you his phone and indeed he is clean. You unlock your phone and show your phone to him.

"Same. Though, I'll not let you hit me raw." As you're about to pull your skirt, he yanks your hands away.

"I don't mind, but these two must stay." He wink and you kinda regret this.

"You're a closet pervert, are you? Seriously, whatever." 

He promised you a lot of things before you two even start kissing. It started slow but it makes your mind hazy. You're pretty sure you didn't drink any alcoholic beverages and Toru didn't drug you. 

But every touch, even the slightest caress on your neck makes you go crazy. Toru is slow with his touches but he does more based on how you react. You're going crazy and he bathes in every single moment of you.

He keep his promise of fucking you on each and every surface of this room. His stamina is what makes you jealous and intimidated the most. The last hour of him finally fucking you on bed is at 3 in the morning and he never once cum.

"Oi-Oikawa-" You can't even breathe at this point. He's too hard, too fast and he's making your mind numb. You can't even count how many times you come, either by his finger, his tongue, his dick, whatever it is. You're far too fucked out.

"Toru, bebê. Toru. I'm the one fucking you now." You can't even open your eyes at this moment. All you feel is this mushy feeling. You're sure all Toru sees is your ugly face that tried to take everything he gave. 

You can't even start with your drool and eyes crossing everywhere. 

"Give me the last one, okay? I promise." That's one of the promises that he broke a few minutes ago. You shake your head, holding onto the pillow dearly as if that squishy pillow could save you. You're lucky that you're not that small or else you might be suffocated by his muscular body on you.

"Li-lie- FUCK!" 

You can't remember anything much, other than seeing him. He cleans up, he helps you to clean up. Hell, he even bathes you. All you can do is to take everything he gave you. You have no strength to stand anymore. It is all hazy and confusing. Your mind didn't come back. Even after he put your shirt back on along with your skirt, you didn't say anything.

You passed out with him hugging you to sleep.

Toru wakes you up at 5:30 in the morning, which you immediately but slowly dress properly to leave.

"Hey. Wait." He calls for your name. Even though you did smack his back a few times because he laughs at how funny you walk, you can't even blame him at this point.

"What?" You hope that your new boss will not kill you.

"Let me have your number. Who knows this little secret of ours will become more than this?" He winked at you and you sigh.

"I told you, we're not. Though, sure." Not that you care. You will never meet him again after this. All you care about now is you're going to go to the training.

After that, you leave and never see Toru anymore. Perhaps he's busy but hey, that's not your business. A week of going to train makes you learn a lot, theoretically. You hope to bring every knowledge you learn in your new office.

*

Three months. You're really loved by your co-workers and your boss. You're good at your job but know when to slack. You stare at Toru's number. You two did have a conversation like weeks ago. Again, both of you always remind each other of your status.

Friends.

You don't mind, because it is true. You're not going to assume more than you should.

"Hey! I've heard that you still have your PTO from last year. I'm going to be very honest about this. The company won't pay you, so I want you to take your remaining PTO from last year. No worries about the schedule since I'm the manager." Your boss said. Straightforward and very honest.

It's good actually. She does care for the well-being of you.

"It's just 7 days."

"The company will not pay us shit, please. Schedule any days for your time off. I'm not going to let you burn your entitled benefits." She showed you the whole calendar of everyone's off time and you're impressed.

So, you decided to finish your job and take a week off of last years' PTO at the end of this month. You deserve it. Your boss gives you the green light the very next day after you send your request.

On the first day, you spend your time with your beloved pet. Your parents have already passed away and your brother is working overseas. Since he lives in California, you two often text each other about your and his well-being. The time zone sometimes makes it impossible for you two to video call.

You miss to see his ugly face and you know he misses to say snarky remarks regarding your appearance like before.

"Aww Coco. I'm sure nii san loves to see you tuck your paw again." You yawn, letting your big, black and fat cat on top of you. Aww, how you love calling him fat. Your cat seems to know when you're shaming his body, so he smacks your face.

You flinched.

"Ouch! What was that for? You ungrateful- OUCH! I'm not going to mix your dry and wet foods then!" 

Your phone is ringing, and Coco jumps from your stomach to the floor. You flinch in pain because of how hard his feet are pressing your chest. 

"Grr. That hurts. Oh, Hitoka?" You picked up your calls and all you heard she's yelling.

"DID YOU HEARD?!" Gosh.

"Hitoka calm down. What is it?"

"Kageyama! Kageyama is going back to Japan!"

"Hitoka, that's not really concerning. He's Japanese, why would you need to yell about this?" You didn't scoff, but you wonder why. You never check on him anymore. You made a new account on social media and steer away from the volleyball world.

"He's looking for you. He keeps texting me, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima! I didn't say anything because you told me you're blocking him, but when Hinata told him about how he met you in Brazil, Kageyama somehow..." Hitoka takes a deep breath. You wonder what it is.

"Hitoka, I went to Brazil like three months ago. It's not a big deal. I blocked Tobio because I want to end this weird friendship I had with him." You heard Hitoka screech for a second.

"He saw your pictures with Oikawa. Did you go out with Oikawa?" You remain silent. How did he find out by pictures? You're pretty sure that none of you three take any pictures.

"I didn't take pictures?"

"Well, apparently... He saw pictures from Oikawa." You clench your jaw. If Toru took your picture, that must not be a good one. You will yell at that man later.

"What pictures?" You wait for Hitoka to respond.

"I didn't know. Kageyama didn't show any pictures and Hinata didn't know about it either. I've heard from Hinata that Kageyama video called him early in the morning and started yelling. Hinata's teammates wonder what the chaos is about." You wonder what actually happened. You decided to sigh.

"Hitoka wait. I'll ask Oikawa-"

"You have his phone number?! You two did go out together!" She pointed that out.

"Yeah, yeah. I do, we do. But, why would Tobio care about me? We're just friends, like he said. Even if I sleep with Oikawa-"

"Seriously? You... Gosh!" You know, she's indeed frustrated with your poor life decision but it already happened.

"I'm not in any relationship with Tobio. He can't stop me. Why is he mad anyway?" You decided to text Toru.

>> Did you take a picture of me without my consent and sent it to Tobio?

You're pretty sure he's sleeping or whatever he's doing. You don't care.

"Well... I thought that you and Kageyama always have something. You know, something that can't be said verbally, but everyone could see it." Her words make you remain silent. Why, you wonder?

"See what?"

"You and Kageyama. Together?"

You wanted to shake her shoulder violently. Didn't she hear it? You and Tobio are friends.

"I'm gonna hang up. Thanks for the update, Hitoka." You hang up and are immediately greeted with the text from Toru.

<< [Oikawa] Yes. I did. 

>> Why?

<< [Oikawa] You never said I couldn't. No worries, I've deleted everything after I sent it to Tobio chan 😉

>> Thts not the point.

<< [Oikawa] I'm just whipping his ass for you. Now, now. I'm going to grab my dinner. See ya~ 

And you never get any reply after that.

On your second day of your time off, you decided to grab some groceries. Coco keeps meowing because he dislikes the cat food that you bought, and you need to buy a lot of supplies for him. Thus, here you are, stuck inside the oversize mall just to buy a few things for yourself.

"Urgh, I swear that if Coco ever does that act where he scratches the food like it's his poop, I'm going mad." You grab each flavour of the wet foods and grab the usual dry foods that you always give him.

You also grab the sand for his poop or whatever.

"Hmm, I need to get my groceries too." You push your trolley away and head to the wet section. Maybe you'll get that nugget that you wanted last month since your budget is a little tight last month.

But for this month, your brother sent you extra cash because he finally got rid of his girlfriend that you didn't like. He finally found out about her infidelity that you told him like 20 times and yeah, they broke up.

You never like her. She's arrogant.

You feel shiver, somehow. It feels like someone is watching you from somewhere. You decided to shake it off, before continuing to do your shopping.

"Urgh, I can't wait to get back home. Hope Coco will be more grateful. That fat, black, fluffy, stupid but so cute cat." Your push your cart to the self checkout.

After taking the whole thing by one hand, you finally get to fit it in the boot of your car. Just as you managed to close the boot, someone's touching your shoulder. You're about to scream and yell, but it's just him.

"Get in." His voice is not soft like he always used to. He's mad, perhaps it's more than the tone he always used when Shoyo pissed him off.

*

"Where are we going? This is not the-"

"You slept with Oikawa?"

His voice is clear. It's too quiet for your own liking, contrary to the sudden rain that is pouring non-stop. He drives your car as if he owns it, stopping at who knows where this is.

You don't like this but Tobio is always like this.

"Why? Does it even matter to you?" You glare at him. He tried wearing a face mask to cover his identity, afraid of the public recognizing him from somewhere. But, you always know it's him.

"That's not the answer."

"Fine. I did, okay. So what? What's with it?" You never see his expression become as dark as that. Never, not even in high school. Tobio stares at you like you've did something wrong.

"You can't."

"Why not? Tobio, we're just friends. Nothing more, nothing much. Why would you care?" He glared at you, before driving you back home. He didn't say anything, not even a word. 

When you're just about to reach your apartment, you get this tingling feeling. A dangerous one.

"You can go, I can handle myself. Thanks." You didn't unlock your door yet, staring at him.

"I'll go after you get in."

"No." 

He didn't move at all. Somehow, his stare makes you scared. It's like a predator watching its prey. Nevertheless, you sigh, putting down your groceries and unlocking your door. You stare at Tobio who stares back at you before entering.

"See you, Tobio." You close the door faster than you ever did to him before but Tobio managed to stop it with his leg. Everything, every single thing that he did makes you become more aware than everything.

You pull away from the door, tossing all of the groceries and run to the closest room to lock it. You need to get away from him.

You find solace in your bedroom after you unlock it, but only for a moment, after you realise that you did not lock the bathroom door that joined with your room.

That's how Tobio enters your room with his hands in his pocket.

"Tobio, what is it? You scared me." Yeah, he could see that too. You've been trembling ever since you noticed him following you during your shopping. You and your senses are great, better than him even.

"I don't like what I saw."

"I promise you, what happened between Oikawa san and I is just a one time thing. I never saw him again. Just, forget about this, okay?" You didn't move from your position. In fact, you're holding the knob.

"Oh yeah? Really? Those pictures that he showed me would never make me believe it's a one time thing."

"Come on! Why would you care! You're my friend, not my boyfriend, not my fiancée or my husband!" You yell at him. He needed someone to put some sense into him and you did.

"Tch." He grabs you by wrists, holding you tight before dragging you to your bed. He makes you kneel before getting his phone out from his pocket. His physique makes him able to hold you by just one arm.

"Tobio!" 

"Shut up. I'm showing you what he sent to me. I just finished my shower after that damn practice and then I saw these." He shove his phone right into your face. Somehow, you wonder how numb your mind when Toru fucked you that night.

That picture. He's fucking you and using his phone at the same time. Fuck, he even had videos on and you never know? 

You gulp, staring at Tobio. Knowing him from before and now...

"I'm not that mad- okay, I am mad. Truly. You know how many times I fucked my fist watching Oikawa fucking you? You know I need to take another shower right after that, making me late for my next practice the next morning?" He did talk about this volleyball and that volleyball, but somehow, you noticed another feeling among it.

"Tobio... I just-"

"Did he get to fuck you raw like I did?" You shake your head upon his question and he smiles. It's so genuine.

"Tobio, please. I-"

"Did you suck him off?" 

"Tobio, please. I just want to-"

"Answer me, bitch."

The conversation continues, dragging from him shaming you as a whore and slut, another demeaning words that should make you cry, but you do not. All you know now, he's fucking you. He's like he's on drugs, yapping about a lot of things.

From how he sees you in middle school then high school, starts crushing on you, slowly making you his friend then more than that. You become the star of his wet dream and he never gets off without imagining it's you.

He told you he can't focus when you're nearby, because every single time you smile at him, he gets a boner. Nobody notices that, except Kei Tsukishima. The blond hair man told him to calm down or else he will tell you.

But you never know though.

When a man tries to flirt with you, he goes crazy. He didn't attack them, simply glaring at them and asserting his dominance like he always does to you. Hold your hands, bring your goods, help you, everything. Yes, he couldn't do that during your college time but he made time for the good time.

He thought he did good to make you stay with him.

"Tobio-" You can't focus. He's going without any protection and this is a serious issue of consent. You hate him doing this to you, but you can't do anything when all of his weight is pressed on top of you.

"I just want to retire at the age of 30, propose to you and marry you. I never- oh fuck, you like that, baby? I want to marry you after I retire. I don't want to force you to quit your job and follow me to Italy or any country that I play for." 

You feel hazy as he's kissing your neck. Maybe you're too pent up, that's why you're reacting to him.

"I tried to contact you right after my first game and all I see is one tick, you really blocking me here and there you bitch." He pressed you further and you squeal. 

"Sorry- Tobio."

"Now it's three fucking months I'm looking for you and what news I got? You slept with Oikawa! I don't fucking care if it's Hinata. Hell, I don't care if it's Kunimi or Tsukishima but Oikawa? You're really getting on my nerves." He slaps your cunt once and that makes you cry.

"I'm sorry! I never-"

"Must be fun, huh? Fucking on each and every surface on that damn room." Your visions were blocked by your own tears. Everything is too stimulating. All you could feel is Tobio Kageyama and nothing else.

Tobio grips your neck, tightening it up just like your cunt do.

"Did he ever choke you, baby? Did he know that you're a little masochist for me?" You shake your head.

"N-no, Tobio." You're struggling to breathe and Tobio does make it harder for you.

"Good girl. You're mine, okay?" You nod, agree with his statement. You block out right after you cum and he never stops at that.

Somehow, you woke up after two hours? All you know is that your apartment smells like curry. You stare at Coco, who eagerly and greedily eats his foods that were refilled. Hmph, that fluffy cat. You saw a man standing at the kitchen counter, cooking. You check your groceries from earlier and it's already put away.

"Tobio?" You call for his name, softly. He turns around, smiling at you as if he never does anything to you.

"I made curry rice. Sorry for using your kitchen." He should apologize for another thing but you let him.

"It's fine." You noticed a morning after pill on top of the table. Wow, he could finally buy one without asking you the difference and alone? He's a changed man.

Tobio turned off the stove before serving you the food. You didn't react but you're hungry.

"First, I want to apologize. What I did last time is wrong. I know my jealousy is wrong. I also apologize for calling you my friends even though I thought of you more than friends. Sorry that I never asked for your opinion." 

His apologies are dumped at the same time. All you can do is stand up and give him a hug.

"It's fine. I know you. You're always like this. I wouldn't stay with you if I truly hated you." He pressed a kiss on your forehead.

"I know you too. You're blocking me here and there not because you hate me. You're just mad because I didn't declare you more than friends. I apologize and next time, I will introduce you as my girlfriend. Will- will you be my girlfriend?" His eyes show sincerity and you chuckle.

You always know him. 

"Apologies accepted and yes, I will be your girlfriend."

The two of you are eating together for breakfast. Your heart didn't feel heavy anymore and finally, you two are no longer normal friends.

After a few months, he proposed to you and you said yes. Although he's still career oriented, you know Tobio will always choose you over volleyball. The only exception. 

Yeah, he's always like that.

End

[missmiyao]

Us, Forever (Kiyoomi Sakusa)

Warning: Cheating, neglect, irresponsible drinking, toxic relationship, self-doubt, gaslighting, guilt, mentions of divorce, baby trapping, strong language, dub-con, unplanned pregnancy, smut warning.

You never understand why he accepted this marriage even though he's always blunt with his words. You didn't know him well and he definitely didn't know about you at all.

Sakura Kiyoomi, a professional volleyball player that plays in division one. He's your husband. You don't do that kind of sport so you don't know the rules well. Aside from that, you don't know him.

He's handsome and charming indeed, but he's scary and cold. He will tell everything he doesn't like explicitly. You were scared of him the first time you met him.

He simply scanned you from top to bottom. He's like a predator and of course, taller than you. Way too tall. He's 190+ cm while you are stuck at 155cm.

How can someone become so tall?

You barely reach his chest.

Nevertheless, he agreed to marry you after so many hints of hesitation were shown. You're glad that everything is over but it's just the beginning.

He rarely talks to you and he's not always at home either— your shared apartment that he bought just for you. He rarely talks but often texts about what he expects from you.

House as clean as it could be, meals, he didn't come back home or anything.

You're lucky since you noticed he dislikes getting too close with people. Hence, you know he will never cheat on you.

Though, you hope for a little romance. Three months of marriage and he never touches you. Yeah, just one shared kiss during the wedding ceremony and he hugs your waist like twice.

That's it.

You crave for more, but he is rarely even there for you to talk. Hell, it's embarrassing. Not that you know him well.

You did a little research about him and yup nothing much came out. Hence, you tried talking to his sister about what he likes.

"Kiyo? Mmm, how about you just talk to him? I know he's a little distant and blunt but he's kind, I swear." She tries to be supportive but she doesn't know what you feel.

You wanted someone that would be there for you.

Yes, Kiyoomi did say he's going to be busy for the season but still it's not going to hurt if he texted a little bit right?

*

His cousin, Motoya Komori, suggested you come with him to watch Kiyoomi's match. You told Komori you didn't know about volleyball, but he said he could teach you a thing or two.

You supposed that your husband should do that but he didn't.

"Look! Kiyo spike! His spin is nasty." You don't understand what spin he's talking about but must be about the ball. Is it that different? You can't tell but after Motoya's explanation you could see a little bit.

His team won, and you clap.

There are autograph signs or whatever is called held, and Komori told you to go and talk to your husband. You wanted to do that, but somehow he looked at you like you're his usual fan and signed the paper.

He didn't say anything even after you congratulated him. Hell, he's as silent as dead. You move to the other player, smile and get their autograph.

"Hey, thanks for coming and watching! Do you want me to dedicate my autograph to someone?" A taller man than Kiyoomi. He wore jersey number #9. You smile at him.

"Hey. The matches are great. I just came with a friend and now a little bit about volleyball. Though, I do want your autograph for myself." You tell him your name, and he grin and sign your paper.

"Bye!." He waves at you and you move to another player.

You continue to get an autograph and decide to look for Komori. He should be the one who drives you back.

*

He's not there. Fucking Komori :). He thought that you will go back with Kiyoomi but it's not simple. You're stuck, alone, hungry and penniless.

You stare at Kiyoomi, hoping he gets your signal. Tired of tiring, you texted him. He did read your text, and told you he's going to go home after je shower.

Hence, you wait.

30 minutes later, you texted him again since he didn't text you. Did he take a long shower?

He didn't reply, so you check his location. Surprisingly, he's already back to your shared apartment. You frown, deciding to just walk back home even though it's going to be a 40 minute walk.

You hold your tears, go to the toilet once before preparing to leave.

"Hey, you're that fan. Still here?" The #9 is right in front of you.

"Ah yes. I'm just about to leave." You're not going to make this awkward.

"Ah? With friends? Be careful." He smiles at you, and you shake your head.

"I'm walking back. My friend kinda lost...? And my hus—" You stop talking. Kiyoomi did say he didn't want his team to know.

"Alone? Where did you live? I can't let a woman walk all alone this late. Let me drive you. Don't worry! I'll drop the captain, his wife and Wan san." He offers.

"Sure. Thanks." You didn't think much as you accept.

You arrived home safely, waved at him and entered your house. It seems like Kiyoomi left you there and you found him inside his bedroom, sleeping like a log.

It's not like it's okay but it hurts. You don't want this.

You know that cheating is bad...

Fuck no. You can't think like that.

In the morning, you make breakfast and Kiyoomi is up.

"Morning, Kiyo. Have a seat." You said to him and he nodded, sitting down.

He seems to analyse the breakfast, before starts to eat.

"I want to talk about something." You put down your plate, staring at him.

"Speak." He replied, enjoying his breakfast.

"I know we didn't start on good terms, simply neutral. Perhaps you don't want this marriage at all but let's work together. I want to get to know you." You stare at him.

He seems normal, staring back at you.

"I'm a little busy for the current season. We can do this after." Urgh.

"It's just for a while, Kiyo. Also... I want to ask you for something." Your legs are shaking under the table and luckily he didn't notice.

"I want... You... I mean, us, had, sexual intimacy?" Your voice is too slow and he stares at you like you stab his mother right in front of him.

"I'm not ready for that." He replied. Your frown is clear to him.

"Okay... Sorry." Now you don't want to eat anymore. You feel a little embarrassed, asking that to your husband who is literally a stranger to you. He supposedly is someone that's close to you but he's not.

*

You decided that if he didn't want to give you any, you'll do it by yourself. Watching alone is not cheating, right?

You're frustrated and need to blow some steam. You're angry, a little bit.... At him. What makes him say he's not ready? Are you not that pretty? He didn't find you appealing or he's disgusted by you?

This has been going on for 6 months of your marriage. You feel like you're going insane. He avoids touching you like you're a plague and your last straw is when he just blink at you when he caught you wearing only a towel in the house.

"I think he's gay, Komori. I can't do this." You finally slipped your thoughts to his cousin. You tried calling your sister in law to drink together but she's busy.

Your mother and father in laws too. Hence, Komori is the only person who's free.

"He's straight. Get a hold of yourself!" He reminds you.

"I'm frustrated, Komori. He even refused to hug me! Did he find me disgusting?"

"You're not. Kiyo just need a little time to—"

"All he said is he's too busy! Komori, you're a player too. Division 1 too! Why can you be here for me and not him? Why..." You're drunk and sad.

"Well, I wasn't sure."

"I'm tired. If I know I'm not getting laid again after marriage, I'll never agree on this. Tch." You cover your face and Komori sighs.

"I'm sure Kiyo has his own reason."

"Yeah. Maybe he finds me ugly, stupid and dirty. He didn't find me appealing. He hates me. That's why he didn't want to do anything with me. I'm sure he is just using me to get away from other marriage arrangements from his parents."

Komori does think that's true, but he held his tongue.

"If I sleep with one guy tonight, would that be okay...?" You muttered that out and Komori feels chill on his bones.

"No. Don't think of that."

You get angry at Komori, since he doesn't approve of your way of thinking.

"But, Kiyo probably didn't do anything either! If he can handle it... Then, I'm sure you can!" He tries to assure you again.

"Hah, fuck it, Komori." You gulp another cup, before the night ends and Komori sends you home.

*

You tried everything you could to seduce your husband— based on Konori's idea. From clothing to perfume to everything.

He didn't budge. Hell. Now you're sure he's gay, but when you confront Kiyo about this he stated that he's straight and just not ready yet. Perhaps he's not interested and didn't want to hurt your poor heart.

He even pushed you away once. You beg him to do anything, but he refuses and leaves the room.

Thus, you can't take it anymore.

You start going out and be home late. You didn't cook for him anymore and never did your job as a housewife.

You start going out with your 18 years old clothing. Tight, almost bodycon, too short and accentuating everything. You put on bold makeup, do your hair and avoid Kiyoomi.

You're still going out with Komori, still. He seems to avoid staring at you for too long, and that makes you laugh.

"That middle blocker from your team is cute. What's his name?" You asked and Komori looked at you.

"Which one?" Komori sighs.

"The parted middle hair one and the serious one!" You grin.

"One is Suna Rintaro and the other one is Washio Tatsuki."

"Both are cute!" You giggled at Komori, holding his arms and clinging to him like what you always did before.

"Stop pressing your tits on my arms, idiot!" He yells, and you roll your eyes.

"Okay!"

*

You decided to support Kiyoomi's team once again. You didn't remember his jersey number or purposely forgot. So you buy the number #13 just to piss him off if he does care.

It's a tight fit and you wore a pair of very short pants down there. You swear you saw Kiyoomi flinch when you hugged his teammates.

"Ya my fans, darlin? Should wear somethin bigger in size." The number #13 said to you. Though, his eyes fixed on your boobs all the time. You felt him touching your back, all the way from shoulder to your waist.

He's too dangerous.

"A little. I like your serve. I think I bought the wrong size, silly me." You giggled at him. He grins at you, especially when you touch his chest. That definitely makes Kiyoomi stop doing what he's doing.

"I can buy ya a new one. Willin to have ma number? I can make sure ya fit." He wink at you, knowing your insinuation. You nod.

"Sure... Miya senshu." You noticed his jersey and he smirked as you called him that.

"Yer so cute." He hugs you again and you swear you felt him squeeze your hips. You tap him once, before moving to another player, Kiyoomi.

You remain silent, staring at him with a boring expression.

The paper you're holding for the sign remains on your chest. You ignore the silence and Kiyoomi before moving to the next player.

Kiyoomi never thought you would flirt with his teammates at all. He thought you're not that low, but you go lower and underground to prove to him that you're so desperate.

He thought that he should take things slow and watch you. He never thought you could feel lonely.

That's before he watches how you literally ride his own teammate in the locker room without any shame.

You cheated on him with his teammate. He's angry, really but he never rushes inside and yells at you and Miya. Miya didn't know you were his, and you never tell Miya either. But you could say you're married.

He could say you look so desperate, moaning and yelling like Miya is that good. He left, angrily drove back home and took a cold shower.

Nevertheless, he never sees you coming home that night.

And, he finally sees the divorce paper that you signed on top of the table in your room, hiding under a pile of books.

Now Kiyoomi is seeing red.

*

You never thought you would sleep with Kiyoomi's teammate. The sex is good, but the feeling that came after is bad.

It's... Depressing. It's guilt, you guess? Yes you wanted to get laid but when you cheated on your husband... You feel guilty.

The feeling of disgust haunts you when you wake up next to Miya Atsumu in the morning. You're full of his marks, bites and fluid.

You take a quick shower and leave his apartment.

You came back home with Kiyoomi sitting on the sofa.

Avoiding him like usual, that's what you do. Though, he didn't have it. Kiyoomi pulled you by your wrist and that's the first time he held you like that. The pressure though, looks like he's going to kill you.

"You're divorcing me?" He shows you the paper and your face turns pale.

"I- yeah but how did you fin—"

"You slept with Miya. Disgusting." He's angry, and you gulp

"It's my fault... I'm sorry. Just, I can't take it anymore. Sakusa, let's just get a divorce okay? You have volleyball to focus on." You pulled your wrist but he refused to let go.

"You bitch." He didn't slap you, but he threw the paper on your face. You didn't cry because you were scared of the divorce. You're scared of him.

"Sakusa—"

"We ain't getting a divorce."

"What? Why?" You feel frustrated all sudden.

"Cause I say so."

"No! Divorce me, Sakusa! I don't want to stay in this fucked up marriage!" You yell at him.

"What fucked up? Just because I didn't dick you down, you're mad and seek other men's attention? How low can you go?" He pushed you and you landed on the sofa.

"If only you dick me down early, I'll never sleep with Miya! If you ever be with me like Komori, I'll never do anything stupid! This is all your fault!"

"Cheated and blamed me? Wow!" He sounds sarcastic.

"Divorce me, Sakusa! Is it because you're gay and—"

He grabs your chin harshly and stares like a predator at you.

"Don't say that. I'm straight."

"Then why did you refuse to touch me! Am I that dirty? You never answer and you know what? Fuck you! I'll sleep around if you keep doing this to me."

"As if I'll let that happen."

In the end, he never divorce you. You wonder why, but he never say anything. He starts to treat you differently and you shiver every time he touches you.

Slowly, he is finally ready for what he was supposed to do to you for the last 7 to 8 months.

You are not ready for him though. Too big, too long, overwhelming and he dicked you down from dusk till midnight, from midnight to dawn. You cried and told him to stop, and he only gave you 15 minutes rest including a shower.

Ever since that day, he never let you go once. He starts telling his team that he's married to you and watches Miya's face turn white after he realized he slept with his teammate's wife.

In just 3 weeks, Kiyoomi knocked you up, not only one but with two babies. He's so smug about it and it makes you annoyed.

"If I fucked you earlier, you're about to give birth in a few days."

"Shut up you asshole... I- I never wanted to-"

"Sorry babe. I slept with the intention to have kids. Since you're so eager riding Miya that night, I'm sure you expect this." He chuckles at you, who's about to cry a river.

"We- no! He had a condom on and I took the after pill. Sakusa... You told me you wore one and I'm sure you are!" You're yelling at him now.

"Oh sorry. Forgot to mention the part where I tempered the condom." He's mocking you.

"I never wanted babies this early." You're about to cry and Kiyoomi sighs. He will leave you to cry since you're a crybaby nowadays.

"Nah deal with it. I need to deal with you, who slept with Miya once, for the rest of my life. You think it's not hard?" He smirks at you, and you hate his face.

"But kids are a lifetime responsibility, Sakusa!"

"Nah. We'd be great parents. I know it. You know, perhaps I should plan baby number three already. You seem cute, all crying and pregnant."

You slap his face, but he laughs at you.

"Call me Kiyo, just like you did before. Did you forget you're a Sakusa too, dear? So sweet, so alluring and so fucked up in the head." He kisses your forehead before leaving for the bathroom.

End

[missmiyao]

Happy Birthday to my best, greatest and perfect man Osamu Miya! 💕🩷

5 October 💜

[missmiyao]

Help (Kenjiro Shirabu)

Warning: Mentions of suicide, emotions instability, insecurity, overthinking, maybe related to depression, anxiety, lacks of social skills, lots of emotions, cursing, crying, idea of suicide, sensitive contents, act of violence, doubts.

You never thought you had to go to therapy. For goodness sake, you think you're doing pretty good in your life. Also, you never thought that was a thing in your life.

You just had a hard day. It's just a heat of the moment. Urgh, you want to kill yourself.

It's not like you're a violent person. You accidentally smack the face of the person that deliver your parcel because he's fucking incompetent. What? Is finding your house too much? He has been there for like 15 times and keeps calling you and asking you where your house is and where he should put your parcel.

He fucked up more than 9 times and the last time is the final straw, since your noisy neighbor keeps getting the parcel that's not theirs and they keep telling you shit. It's not like you can always be on your phone and tell the delivery person where your house is and where he can put it.

Thus, that's the first thing ever happened to you.

Second, you had a hard day too. You ended up staring into the void while waiting for the customer to come to the store. Your manager always nags you and your coworkers that you need to do something to increase the sale.

Like hell, you did not make the price so why should you do that?

Also, you keep being blamed over something you didn't do or some stupid stuff that makes you a little... Demotivated. Yup, that's your doctor's words.

You take too much break because you keep on crying for no reason while working. You hate that feeling. You hate that you overthink things too much- worry about something that actually could happen in the future but you shouldn't give it a damn because the present is more important.

Oh, I will be left with less than 100 dollars this month... Oh, I need to pay for my car. Oh, my car needs to get serviced and... When should I buy that toner that I really want from 5 months ago? What if I couldn't get my claim on petrol? Did I need to go to the team building?

Lots of things in your mind.

Sometimes, you just yawn too much and too wide, so you want to sleep. But stupid you and your brain. When your head touches the soft pillow, your brain starts thinking a lot of things. In future, about yourself, about your life and such.

You hate it.

You can't sleep. You need to let it go.

You need to get yourself together.

"You need to have plans in your life! What will you become in the next 5 years? How about 10 years later?" That's the famous words that you keep on hearing when you go to motivational talk or whatever it is.

Even your first doctor that examined you when you took that stupid test tell you to change your lifestyle a little. Start eating breakfast, wake up early and sleep early, eat healthy shit, do some exercise, meet new friends....

Fuck, no.

You don't want to have plans in your life. You can't even fucking decide what to wear and what to eat on daily basis. How can you think of something 5 years later?

"You shouldn't overthink things."

Then stop telling them to have plans in 5 years. What if you don't achieve those? Will you cry? Wasn't that pathetic? Then, what are you going to be then? A sore loser or just some shit?

When you think, it's going to be overwhelming and you're stressed. If you don't think, you'll be stress because you don't fucking think for your future. Fuck.

You don't hate your friends. Not even a little bit. In fact, you're happy when they achieve something in your life. Some get married early, some are rich, some have good jobs and some could travel outside the country.

You're content with your life, you think.

"Why am I like this... Why can't I be like them? Am I really happy with my life?" You do question yourself a few times like that.

Sometimes, on a good day, you don't think about any of these. You know that all human has problems in their life. Even you, your mother, your neighbor and even cats. Everyone has their own struggle in life.

But sometimes... When those bad days come, you can't shake the thought of you're fucking useless.

You're not worth being here. You just want to disappear and stop making your parents worry about you.

You might be one of the best students in high school but when you leave high school, you learn the hard way that IQ is not everything. You lack EQ, SQ, AQ? Was it that? You don't know. You're a little jealous that your friend could do things and have good problem solving skills that are better than you.

You get yelled at once at work because of that but it's fine. You are learning...

But why did you cried so fucking hard after you got home? Why are you so weak at heart?

You don't hate people, generally. Sometimes, you could just live by listening to people rambling at the cashier where you work. You listen carefully, nodding and sometimes smiling at their story.

But... You are not good at socializing like your friends. She's so damn good at talking! He is so good at presentations! They could be friends in less than 10 minutes of seeing each other for the first time. While you? Your pathetic self couldn't even talk and stutter each 10 seconds and avoid eye contact.

Pathetic.

"Why do you think overdose is the easiest way?" Dr. Shirabu's words make you snap out of your thinking. This is your first time being here it seems.

"Well, because it's easy?" You didn't elaborate further. He nods, staring at you.

"Mind to elaborate that, if you're comfortable." He did stare at you, making eye contacts that you tried to avoid.

"Um, so... Like, I do think that it's easy. For example, it's said that 8 tablets of paracetamol is max, right? I could take 14 tablets and not even at once. Also, it's over the counter. It's easier to get and to do. Well! Not that I ever plan to do that. It's just a thought, a stupid thought, really." You didn't know why, but you're smiling through all of this.

Perhaps you're crazy?

But! Dr. Shirabu said that you just have a problem now... Not an illness. Well, that's just the beginning right?

But why are you crying too?

You talk to Dr. Shirabu about the feeling of overthinking, the insecurities. But some of the words didn't get out of your mouth. You must be too stupid to even let out words that are easily comprehend. You're a mess and you hate the thought that you left your face mask before coming here.

"It's just a one time thing. It's not a big deal." You smile, wiping your tears.

He nodded, writing down something that you couldn't even read from where you're sitting.

He then changes the topic about what you learn in your degree and other things that seem nothing to you. Well, you're comfortable sharing it so you just talk. It's not a heavy and sensitive topic like earlier.

"Actually when I first took my course, I didn't even know what the heck this course was. Like, I don't even have an ambition." You chuckles, smiling. Reminiscing about high school it seems.

"Oh, tell me about it. Have you searched about this course of yours... Or?"

"Well, to be honest, it's my first choice. I never have anyone to ask around. I don't even know what I will learn or to be. But yeah. I think I'm doing good. Ah! Also, I don't have anything to do in the future. Like, all my friends want to be this and that. But I don't think that suits me." You mutter.

"I see."

"When there's an interview, I could never answer what my strengths and my weaknesses are. Sometimes, I do wonder if I'm good enough. Like, I start to doubt things, you know? I'm kinda nervous! Like, I do know about Microsoft Word or Excel but I'm not that good..." You sigh.

Must be stupid things.

Hah, does Dr. Shirabu really wants to listen to you rambling shits or he's just doing his job?

"Is it because you think you're not good enough or...?"

"Yeah. I feel that way. I do think my friends that look at me in jealousy in high school because I got number 1 in each examination are doing better than me now. I don't think I could ever get a good job. I'm not interested in jobs that are in my scope of degree. Hah... Even am I interested in them, I don't think I will be good at it? But I do know what I learnt." You want to stop talking, really.

You talked too much?

Is this caused by the best caffeine you got in the store in front of you before you went to work in the morning?

Nah. You must be very distracted it seems.

"Have you ever told anyone or shared about this to anyone?" He asks, looking at you again and that makes you nervous as fuck.

Did you do something wrong?

"Oh, just, my boyfriend. Haha." Although he did shrug you off at first.

You didn't tell your parents about this either. You don't really feel that they will appreciate you or anything. Besides, it's not important.

Maybe, you're just being sensitive for 4 days in the months and you ended up being like this. What if you actually just have a little problem and somehow, going to therapy actually makes it bigger than it actually is?

Other people have problems too. Why you should be-

"I see. So... From what I've seen here, you have volunteered in lots of things in the past. Could you elaborate on that?" He taps the paper that you just filled in earlier.

"Oh. I just do that because I have free time. Keeping myself busy and sometimes, it's work related. They have no one else to send so they sent me. It's nice to do something for society." Yeah, even you didn't get any money for driving there from your company.

"That's good. Do you mind telling me about your family?" He didn't smile, but you could tell he didn't want to make things awkward.

"Oh, it's good." Simple reply, and he noticed that. You couldn't say anything more.

You wonder why that is?

Even the way you fill the form before is like you're a fucking idiot.

Simply summarize your family history and their relationship with them.

- Okay.

Do you think you're religious?

- Okay.

Hah, even in high school you could answer that better!

"Are your parents still alive?" He asks, and you nod.

"Mhm. Yeah. They're living in another state. I visit them around twice a year." You muttered.

"Do you have any siblings?" He is jotting down, again.

"It's just me, my brother and my sister. I'm the oldest." You answered and he's satisfied by that.

"Alright. Since our session would last around 40 minutes to 1 hour, we could end our session now. Is there any question you would like to ask?" He smiles at you, and you shake your head.

"No."

"Okay. Let's meet again next month. I don't pressure you to come, but I would appreciate your attendance." He smiles at you again, and you nod at his words.

"Sure."

 "Ah, before I forget, I want to give you a little homework okay?" He takes out something from under his table- looks like a book. Mini book.

"Hm?" You see he's flipping the book to a page where you could see the words 'MY CONTROL' on the page.

"I want you to list your activities here. Remember, there are no such things as right or wrong. Would you fill this for our next session?" He softly speaks and you nod.

Then, you bid farewell to him and close the door.

Actually, you did forget about the task he gave you earlier... But whatever. You do think it's related to the activity you do.

Before you reach your car, you walk back to his door and knock.

"Um, Dr. Shirabu?" You called for his name.

"Yeah?" He's writing something, but stops to look at you.

"Can I have MC?" You smile, hoping to get one since you definitely weren't ready to go to work even though you have 2 hours before clock out.

"Sure. What time do you want me to write?" He asks, and you grin.

"Well, until 5 would be great." You said and he nodded.

He gives you the slip and you thank him again before leaving his room and going back home. Hopefully, you're going to be okay.

End

[missmiyao]

Today is my birthday, but I kinda get a little sad since there are only a few people that remember it. 🥺

Does birthday doesn't always celebrated and happier when you're older? 🤔

[missmiyao]

I tried calling for emotional support or whatever it is, but everyone is occupied. I don't know if I should laugh while crying now 😂, or... I don't know? Sleep?

[missmiyao]

I do think I need emotional talk but I don't know how, who and where to start?

Lots of things happened and I don't know anymore.

[missmiyao]

Masterlist (not really)

Haikyuu!! Trapped Dependent Help Us, Forever Like That Slowly, Surely Without You

[missmiyao]

Dependent (Toru Oikawa)

Warning: Dub con, stalking, manipulation, blackmail, kidnapping, attempted suicide, power imbalance, delusional, mention of harming person using knife, abusive and toxic relationship, unplanned pregnancy, baby trapping, mental health issues. 

You stare at him, standing awkwardly in the train. Usually, he go back home with Iwaizumi. Not today though, since you make sure that Iwaizumi need to stay back at school for good. It took you a few years to gather this courage, to be with him alone. Not that anyone in this train counted though.

You and him are alone in this train.

You smile at him, and he only nod. He recognized you though. Maybe, someone in Iwaizumi's class? You slowly stand up from your seat and walking towards him. After you did some research about Toru Oikawa, you know where he live, what station he stop, what is his favourite food and such.

Those fangirls can fuck off, because he is yours.

"Hi?" He speak to you, and you feel that your heart flutters. He's so handsome, tall and charismatic. Yet, you didn't reply.

You smile at him. You ignored the discomfort on his face. The train that actually packed with another people from the third stop makes you literally need to stand right in front of him. At first, you feel like your heart is going to burst from excitement since your crush is right at your back.

You hums in pleasure, as you trace your palm on his back. You feel him flinching, but could not move due to people pushing and stand static around him. He tried to grab your wrist, but you stop him before turn your neck to stare at him.

He did saw you glare at him.

"Do it and I'll yell." You said that as a tease, but Oikawa definitely didn't see it as one. He lower his head, nod timidly.

That's how you got to talk to your crush first time! You feel proud of yourself. Ever since then, you're all around him.

You come to his practice, cheering his name so loud that his fans start to wonder what's your relationship with him. You did not say anything at first, but since they kept bitching about who the fuck are you, you told them that you are dating Oikawa. At first, they refuse to believe that. Hell, why would they be in denial?

You're the one dating him.

Oikawa knows about this too. He was about to tell something that you didn't like, so you appear in front of him with a pout and cross your arm. 

"Well... I'm not dating anyone at the moment."

Oikawa is mean to you, so you leave the gym that day. Though on the next day, Oikawa told everyone you two are dating. Yesterday is just a mistake and he was just teasing you. You told him that you forgave his grave mistake, which makes him because more careful around you now.

Maybe, it's because a picture- Oikawa said you're a fucking psycho and need to fuck off, but you took none of them to heart.

But now, he's the one cling on you like you're the oxygen to him. You doesn't mind it, really.

"Are you really dating Oikawa? I never see you two walk together." Iwaizumi asks you one day, and you sigh before cross your arm.

"We are. He's busy, right? That's why we rarely spend our quality time together." Your words doesn't make Iwaizumi backed off. He noticed that his childhood friend is acting weird when you're involved in the conversation or within his sight.

He wanted to know more, but you dislike any attention other than Oikawa's.

"Darling, can you tell Iwaizumi to stop meddling with our relationship, babe? I hate him." You casually told Oikawa while you cling to his arm. His body is stiff, always and never been more ready to run away from you.

"Sure... But. Can- can you dele-"

"Delete what, Toru?" You stop walking and stare at him with disbelief. You pull away from clinging to him, and that what makes Oikawa panic.

"I- I'm sorry! I didn't say anything. Please, let's just go to the Cake House together." He's about to touch you but you jolt away. You shake your head a few times.

"It's okay, Toru. I don't want to eat that cake anymore. I want to go back alone." You walk away, leaving the horrified Oikawa chasing after you. He's worried and scared to death. You ignore him, simply walk back home.

You brush him off, telling him it is fine.

A few weeks after that, people doesn't see you with Oikawa anymore. Everyone thought you broke up, even Iwaizumi. Although, everyone could see Oikawa is in great distress. He can't focus on what he is doing and he need to sit out for a practice match with Karasuno. You pity him, really, but to finally realized he's staying because of that unnecessary picture is not something you wanted.

After a few days, Iwaizumi talked to you again.

"Oikawa seems lost without you." He mutters. Even though he could maintain eye contact, you could tell he's nervous.

"He seems fine. Besides, he's the one who doesn't want anything to do with me, right?" You walk away, brush away Iwaizumi that keeps calling your name.

On the next day, you skip school. You decided that you cannot live like this anymore. It's not fun anymore to keep whatever her name is- well, you do know she is Oikawa's mother, in your basement. 

You gave her foods and such and everything and she doesn't even scared at you anymore. Well, you did throw in your cute knife moments and such, but that was just the heat of the moment. You stare at her as she stare back at you.

"Just, go back." You sigh, before undo the rope on her wrist.

"Wait, what?" 

"I don't find him amusing anymore." You open the basement door wider, before leave to go and cook dinner. Weird enough, Mrs. Oikawa doesn't go back to her house. Instead, she insist to stay and cook with you. Of course, you doesn't mind the extra person but why she want to stay?

School is normal, other than Oikawa tries to talk to you. You start to become annoyed at him. You are done with him, and you don't want him anymore.

Yet, you can't. He start to kneel in front of the public, refuse to go to practice and even wanted to end his volleyball career if you didn't take him back. In the end, you did.

You went to every match of his, watching him finally get back on track even though you're not interested anymore. He start to become a different Oikawa, a different person from you know. He starts to ramble about how good his days are, start to hold hands with you, walking side by side, do homework together and he even get the nerves to stay in your house when it's weekends.

You lashed out one day, telling him to fuck off and leave you alone, since you don't like him anymore.

Oh, that's when you see him kneeling, bawling his eyes and scream at you.

"Don't leave me! Please, take me. I can't leave without you! Plea- Please, I'll do anything as long as you stay with me." He grab your legs, doesn't want to let go at all. You stare at him with disbelief.

"Take this picture and leave me alone, Oikawa! You're a freak." You throw him a picture of him before, which you made is as something as a blackmail. He refuse, shredding the picture into pieces and continue to cries his heart out.

He want you, and only you.

*

You graduated from a Beauty College and become a hair stylist. It's not something you love, but you could do it. You stayed in Japan, even though Oikawa told you that he's going to Argentina to become a greater volleyball player there.

Sighing, you told him that you don't want to follow him at all. You have your own life and such. He frown and sulk again. Not that he leave you alone though. Realization hits you hard when you realized about what you did to him before.

All clingy, telling him about this that he might have not listen and always crossing the line. You harassed him in the train before, correct. You did tried to assault him sexually, but you stop after you realized he doesn't like you back.

But now?

He could never leave you alone. He doesn't want to leave you alone. You are his oxygen and life. That's why he immediately propose to you a few weeks before he go to Argentina. You told him to fuck off and you're not interested but he insisted.

He gave you a diamond ring, not that it's expensive. It's also a ring that recommended by his mother. Now you wonder. Why does these two mother and son act like crazy person? You threatened, kidnapped and locked her up in your basement. You made Oikawa's life a living hell.

He doesn't deserve you, and you don't too.

Yet... He insisted.

You're working in a set- your fourth job for the month with good money. The actor and actress are not a fussy one, so you managed to get them sit tight while working on their hair. One of them are volleyball fans, watching a match that you definitely know one of them has Oikawa and the other one- you don't know. Oikawa did tell you before, but you purposely ignore his conversation and info.

Ah, you remembered that Oikawa did told you that he had interview today. 

"Ah, yes! I'm now living happily with my fiancée. She's drop dead gorgeous, kind and smart. I love her so much! Hey darling, if you see this, love you!" He wink at the camera and your eyes twitch a little. You stop spraying the hair you're working on.

You sigh.

"Ah? You know him?" The actor asked you, and you shrug. 

"Someone from high school." You replied and continue to do your job.

When you come back home, you are tired. The smell of good, hot meals entered your nostrils. You stare at Oikawa, who jump from the couch to greet you. He looks like a golden retriever that saw his owner that went to the toilet for 10 minutes. Longest 10 minutes in his life it seems.

"Welcome back darling! Today, I cook-"

"Shut the fuck up, Oikawa. What the hell? Why would you tell everyone that you're engaged? I'm not accepting any shit from you." You remember well that you dismiss his ring, smacking his hand that make the ring flew at least 10 metres away from you.

His eyes turned sad, as he started to tear.

"Cry, cry and cry. Is that what you can only do?" You didn't yell at him, but your tone is what making him sad.

"Please... I'm sorry. I- I proposed to you. I thought that you want to marry me. I didn't- I didn't think. Darling, please. I love you, I-" You slap him across the face, once.

He muffle his crying, standing in front of you and wipe his tears.

Dissatisfied, you slap him again and he didn't respond with anything other than those muffled cries. Ugly bastard. You scoffed at him.

"Are you seriously become dependant to me, Oikawa?" You stare at him with such intense glare. Oikawa could feel that his world is spinning and he's about to pass out if you keep staring at him like that.

He remained silent.

"I'm fucking asking, Oikawa! If you want to become silence as a fucking doll, then I'll cut your tongue!" You yelled at him and he flinch.

"No- no. I'm not dependant on you. I just, I love you so much. I can't live without you."

"Then fucking die." You shove him away, before go back to your room. Well, it's actually a shared room. Oikawa literally sleep with you every night ever since you bought a new house with loan. He did paid for you, but you never thank him for this.

You think it's weird and fucked up, about how Oikawa stare at you as you could give him everything in this world, as if you're the moon.

Oikawa did have an episode, consist of him knocking on the door a few times, apologizing while crying like a pathetic shit he is and yelling that he loves you so much. You ignored him, even though his voice is getting slower and the last thing you heard is him leaning on the door.

On the next day, you decided to go on a jog. You took a shower, dressed nicely with a plain black shirt and a pair of short. You hums, taking your phone and essential to go out when you unlock the door.

You sees Oikawa's body falling. He leans on the door so when the door open, he didn't get the chance to be ready so he fall flat to the floor. You stare at him when he smile at you, face pale and puddle of blood are under him.

"Stupid Oikawa, stupid! Did you really want my attention that much?!" You yell at him when you noticed a tainted knife on his lap. He cut his wrist vertically, which telling you that he indeed wanting your attention. Fucking, stupid, idiotic Oikawa.

Now he's doing suicide for just your attention?

"You finally look at me." He calls your name sweetly, as you tried to lift him from the floor. He seems like he's about to pass out. You cuss him out before push him into the car and hurriedly drive him to the emergency room.

About 3 hours passed, and you finally see him. The doctor did say a few things about him and his mental health too. You're annoyed, so the first thing you did when you see Oikawa's face is that you slapped him.

His lips crack and he bleed a little.

"Pull a stunt like this again, I dare you." You glare at him, really but all Oikawa sees is you smiling sweetly to him, for him.

"I love you so much." That's what he said.

After he got discharged, you half heartedly agree to his proposal. He wanted to bring you to Argentina, and you yelled at him to not cross a fucking line again. He pouted, yes, but that doesn't mean he can't left you in Japan alone.

Two months after he went to Argentina, he got a call from you. You screamed out your lungs to him. You finally realized he tricked you when he told you that he wore a condom that night. You thought you're smart enough, but not too smart to not notice that he poke a few hole on the condom.

Yet, Oikawa could only grin, chuckling over the phone when he know you're pregnant.

"That's a good news, darling! We're going to be a great father and mother! Though you need to lower your anger issu- Ah she hung up." Oikawa pouted, before put away his phone and go back to his practice.

You throw your phone to the wall until it shattered, as anger radiating from your body.

"Stupid Oikawa..."

In the end, you're the one that need to depend on him.

End

[missmiyao]

I woke up thrice in the same night because it's too hot to sleep and my apartment and the area have issues with water supplies 😭

I wanna peeee so badly 🤡

[missmiyao]

Am I an as* for asking my boyfriend of 7 years (from highschool) questions about marriage/engagement?

Did I asked too much that he think I keep insisting him?

We're both still young though.

Maybe I shouldn't worry too much?

[missmiyao]

Trapped (Bokuto Kotaro)

This is my first time posting fanfiction here. Please, be kind to me and my bad grammars. This is a story of Haikyuu!! Bokuto and you. Yes, no name mention but the story emphasize heavily on female reader.

Warning: Dark content, use of drug, rape, non consensual, blackmailing, cursing, use of alcohol, mention of making out, yandere.

It's such a blurry night. You don't even know where you're now. Hell, you don't even remember why you're here in the first place. The loud music, the sensual and awkward movements of people dancing, the way some people tried to grind on your ass- men and women, makes everything feels more hazy than before. 

Ah, you're in a nightclub. Finally, you remember.

You're not even want to be here in the first place. It's just some stupid reunion of Karasuno High School Volleyball Club. Hitoka Yachi, one of your closest friend and senior during high school- also your other partner as manager when she is in second year, begging that you would come with her.

Today is the day of the match of MSBY Black Jackals versus Schweiden Adlers and almost everyone from the high school club is here, celebrating in the nightclub. Also, there are a few members of Black Jackals around and you hate it. You want to go back home.

Now, you don't even know where Yachi is. Perhaps, she went to the bathroom. Perhaps, she's having one of the best hook up with her life with who's the guy again? Ah. Yamaguchi. Whatever it is, it's not your place to judge.

Everyone is now legal, you just turned 23 a few days ago. You barely finished your degree in college. Now, you just want to find a better job than you're working right now because your boss is such an ass even though you're just started working. Hell, you're in the company less than 3 months and chaos already ensued.

Your head feels throbbing, as if it's going to explode in a minute. You need to leave.

As you walk on the dance floor, just wanting to exit through the front door while pushing people that keep dancing and annoy you to no end, someone pulls your arm. You want to yell, really. Your head is pounding, and this person might be the cause if you drop dead right here and now.

"Hey! Going home already?" Someone calls for your name and seriously, you don't even know this guy well. Yes, he's someone in Black Jackals team but who cares?

You don't reply to his advances, simply shove away his hand that might be gripping way too hard on your arm. It's really painful or maybe, it's just an exaggeration? Maybe, you just drink too much tonight and need to call it a night.

"Hm." You said that after you feel he keeps tugging you, as if he didn't want you to leave. Perhaps it's just your imagination.

"Hey, you okay? You don't look good." Urgh, just fucking leave. You hesitate to answer now, but still, you pull away your arm from him before walks away. Maybe it's the heels you are wearing. Maybe it's just the alcohol but somehow, with the way you walk, you could even tell that you're not walking straight.

You wonder why.

The man immediately grab your waist as he noticed you're about to fall on your knees on the dance floor. He looks worried.

"Let's leave. You should sober up." You feel confuse all of sudden. Your legs feels wobbly. You're yawning too, you're sure of it. Yet, the feeling like you are about to collapse to the ground are also there.

You let the man brought you. You could not think of any way to survive this. He carefully hold your waist, slowly helps you to walk with him. Hm, did he called for cab? You didn't know. You could see he's using his phone but you could not even read the juggling words on the screen. 

You feels like the world is collapsing. Fuck, why everything feels so confusing?

Now, you're in a car with him. You could smell him since he's too close to your body. He's way taller, bigger than you but he hold you with such care. You leans to his chest, without any intention because your head hurts once again. You might be whimpering without you noticed too.

Somehow, your visions darkened right after the car stop.

*

You don't even know what is happening. The soft material of the duvet and the bed sheets greet your back and you feels like you're going to fall asleep. Deep slumber if you could. Some muttering from someone- the man that brought you here earlier is not something you could catch. You could not even hear shit. He's mumbling and you are sleepy.

You just want to sleep, that's all.

"So pretty... Finally, I could have you all by myself." 

Did you hear that wrong? Perhaps not. Maybe, you're really sleepy and start hearing things. Stupid drink, stupid alcohol, stupid reunion party. Stupid people that doesn't even want to hear your super pathetic life after graduation from high school.

You feel something pressed your body deeper into the sheets. It's very heavy. You feels like you're losing your breath at this moment. Although, the last thing you see is him- smiling like a psycho as he's going on top of your body. No way.

This must be a dream.

You hope so, but you immediately passed out.

*

It's the sound of fucking loud alarm that wake you up in the morning. You feels hazy a little, but otherwise, it is a good sleep. That's okay, until you feel the soreness coming from the lower part of your body. Confused is all you feel right now.

You don't want to think any of it, especially when you see a man is sleeping right next to you on the same bed. You want to yell, you want to scream at him. You want to hit him tons of times but you couldn't. Instead, you start crying, confused and feels vulnerable at this moment.

Whimpering mess, very, pathetic of you.

He suddenly woke up because of your damn crying. He looks irritated when his sleep has been interrupted, but when he sees you, he smile.

He smile as if he had done nothing at all.

"Good morning, sweet girl. How's your sleep?" He sounds so sweet like he always do. He always speak softly and sweetly to you when he meet you before. Even during high school. 

"I- I- what... What did you..." You can't say more words. Every syllable that you want to spit and throw at him stuck in your throat. Burning sensation is what you feel in your throat now.

"Shush, sweet girl. It's still early. Stupid alarm that Tsum Tsum set as prank for me. Let's just go back to sleep, okay?" He tap your cheek with both of his palms. He act as if you two are in relationship.

"Bokuto... I-"

"Shush. No worries. Everything will be all fine, ya?" No, it will not. What crack did he took?

"Why- why I'm here with you?" You could only speak as slow as your voice could get. Perhaps he didn't hear anything but at least you got your words out your pathetic mouth and that's an accomplishment.

"Oh! I brought you here." He smile. The curtains flapping a few times, so you could see the that the outside of your room you're now in is still dark. Indeed, it is still early.

"No. I mean, why I'm here- naked, under this sheets with you?" You feel like your heart is about to burst when you ask that question. Tears start forming in your eyes. It's such a surprised for Bokuto to see you cry so fast like this.

Never in his life he ever see you cry like that, not even when Karasuno won the third place during your second year in high school.

"Ah, that. Well listen sweet gi-"

"Did you raped me, Bokuto?" You cut his sentence, as your breath is going faster and faster each second. The dread of waiting for him to answer is not something you like. It's like a knife cutting your neck deeper and deeper each second passing.

"I would not call it rape, okay! We made love, and that's what happened last night." He wipes your tears, cooing you at the same time. His tone is stern, contradict to the soft acts he is doing now.

"No- No. Fuck, no! We did not make love or anything- I passed out. You- You took advantage of me during my vulnerable state!" You yelled at him, pushing away his hands away from you or at least your face. You feel disgusted.

Yes, you're not a virgin but this is not okay at all.

"Of course you passed out. You took a medicine." He pout when you hit his hands away. He moves a little bit, making the duvet fall from his upper body- showing his naked chest. 

"I took a what? Medicine? No. I did not do such thing. I don't even have medication that I should take!" You're tired talking to this man. You wanted to leave, but you feel weak. Your body could not move and your tears are flowing even more.

"Shhh. No, sweet girl. You did take a medicine. I put it in your drink last night. It worried me if it's not working but hey, it is!" He sounds way too happy. You wipes your tears, shaking your head in disbelief.

"You spiked my drink?!"

"That's a harsh way to put it in words, but I did put something in your drink." He didn't look guilty. You feel disgusted by this man- perhaps you should call him a pig, a menace to society and he should just die. 

He should-

"Don't even think that you can even leave me, or even tell anyone about this." His tone change and that scared you. It makes you shiver and you feel it up until your spine. You are just about to leave the bed, wanting to find at least pieces of your clothes.

"W- what? What makes you think I would keep quiet about this?" You stare at him, and he chuckles.

"I must say, you're really pretty even though you're sleeping. I could jack off of your pictures, video or anything that involves you for years. Hell, even forever." His words makes you cover your mouth. That's when you find a camera, resting just at the vanity table. You could see an indicator from the camera that it is still recording.

"Bo- You recorded us?"

"No one will ever see that if you keep your mouth shut, sweet girl."

*

"Woah, you two are dating? Congrats!" Yachi gives you a hug and you somehow managed to fake your smile and hug her back.

"Yeah..." It's such an awkward reply. It's so fucking awkward. 

Today is the All Star Special Match between Team A and Team B. The match doesn't start for a few hours but you're already here. You don't even want to be here in the first place. Yet, because of one thing... You're trapped. You're entangled to him to death or perhaps until he's bored of you.

"Woah, really? Congratulations Bokkun!" Atsumu suddenly appear out of nowhere with another member of Team A. You already feel embarrased. No- you want to kill yourself. Can the ground under you collapse and trap you underneath?

"Hahaha! Thanks. We might as well getting married sooner." What? Marriage? The fuck he's high about? You don't even agree on this stupid relationship in the first place. Why he insist of trapping you further?

You wants to cry, really. You look at Yachi in the eyes, hoping she see your 'help me' face but somehow, she looks excited. She looks beyond happy for the announcement of your so called marriage.

"What? Who's getting married?" Washio arrived too after he put away his phone- just after he called his older sister that wished him good luck.

"Bokuto." Kiryu tap Bokuto's shoulder, as if congratulating him and you.

Fuck, it's like everyone congratulating you and happy that he drugged you, raped you, blackmailed you and now, he wants to marry you? 

"Woah, congratulations. I didn't know you two have a thing for each other. Although, Fukurodani always know that this man here always looking at you." Washio smile a little bit and that's when you know, he's obsessed with you since high school. 

You never talk to him unless he speak first, but you only reply by gesture, too scared to talk to him because he look at you like a predator. Hell, he's not even a high school student during the first time you see him. He only came because he wants to see a man named Akaashi and during that time, he is in his semester break. How does little interaction leads to this?

What did you do in life to make him interested in you?

"Really? That's so sweet man!"

"Ya two don't even from same prefecture. Congrats again eh?" 

"Must be from training camp! Woah, love is blossoming!" 

No. It is not.

You want to yell at them that they are wrong. You want to tell them that Bokuto is a big fat liar, manipulator, rapist and he drugged and has a dirt of you. You see the video by yourself and you're not happy about it. It's real, and he has tons of back up when you tried to delete it from before.

Yet, you could only smile. Fake your smile, fake your gesture and such because in the end...

You're trapped, with him.

End

[missmiyao]

Happy Birthday to our Inarizaki Defense Specialist, Shinsuke Kita!

Well, now you're 30 babe 💜🥺 How fast time flies.

5th of July! 🎂

[missmiyao]

Went to clinic for my PMT and I guess it went well? I got medicine to calm me down too. Now I can sleep like log ✨