#but the backup sure is enjoyable lmao

[roraimae]

POV you messed with the wrong vampire spawn

[silversweetpea]

Come Home

word count: 3798

summary: A nightmare is only a nightmare when viewed at the right perspective.

Warning: reader is sad and doesn’t like themselves a whole lot but there’s no outright self deprecation. 

author’s note: I am obsessed with the idea of Nightmare reader and the way that I just barely restrained myself from making this like a 30 chapter slow burn makes me feel like I have earned a little treat. A little reward if you will, so if you need me I will be writing up yet another self indulgent little story lmao. Also if anyone wants those thoughts on previous chapters of pining I cut so that this wasn’t insane I have so many thoughts please come talk to be about them holy shit.

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Nightmares weren’t designed to be loved. They weren’t even made to be thanked. You, in specific, would know that better than anyone else. And yet, standing on the outskirts of yet another beautiful party for yet another beautiful couple, it was easy to ignore the sting in the back of your throat and the way that you could feel the vines curling around your heart. 

You were made in the image of love unrequited, you had always known that. But the waking world was bursting with love and at least this way you were able to stand in its afterglow. 

The bride and groom were beaming, radiant in their joy. There was a moment where you were worried about the state of things when it started to drizzle but there had been backup plans ready, tents secured, and smiles on everyone’s faces.

“It’s good luck,” The bride had giggled when you did your final pre-ceremony check in with her. The woman couldn’t be older than her early twenties and yet for just a moment you could see the echoes of all the brides you had assisted. Young and old but always beautiful in their joy. eighty years was a long time to stay in the same field, to keep mysteriously appearing at just the right time, and yet you couldn’t resist it. 

The plate in your hand was easily placed in reach of a wandering child, sure they would get far more enjoyment from the sugar rush than you would. You lingered long enough to look at the couple again, to rest in their warmth and imagine for just a moment that you could have that someday too.

And then there was a cough that began to threaten to rip through your throat and you were moving again. It was better that way anyhow. 

“He’s not coming back for you, don’t you get that? He’s not coming back for any of us. You might as well see the world, have a little fun.” The Corinthian was the closest thing you had to a friend these days which meant that even after months of silence between you two, his voice lingered in the corners of your mind. 

It didn’t help that he didn’t understand your need to be so close to humanity and you didn’t know how to explain it. Not to someone who had always been content with his purpose in the dreaming. Hell, the only reason he had ever found to venture further than it’s boundaries was because he wanted more of the world to see him and what he could do. Corinthian loved, you knew he did, but it wasn’t the sort of endless ace that you were forced to chase for all of time simply by virtue of being alive.

Still, you thought of calling him. Especially when the man in a suit similar to his tailed you from the reception.

“Hey! You’re the planner right?” Nightmares could recognize one another plain enough for you to know that the groomsman meant no harm in chasing after you. Unfortunately that did little to ease the annoyance at his questions and when you turned to face him the most you could manage was a thin smile. 

“That’s me.” His eyes were bright, almost the same shade of Dream’s the last time you had spoken to him. There were no stars there though, no depth to the waters. His hair was several shades lighter and much shorter, his posture more outward than your king would have ever been with you. 

“I just wanted to...” he struggled for a minute before you could see the lightbulb go off. “I just wanted to say thank you for your help in the wedding. It was really great and I know that Garrett and Anna wouldn’t have been nearly as prepared without you.”

“Just doing my job.” He didn’t need to know that you weren’t paid, that you had no intention of being paid other than the slice of cake. You never were. You had plenty of money and the fewer ways for people to prove you existed the easier it was to convince them you didn’t. That their friends were actually the planners along with some strangly helpful staff at the locations. 

“I, uhm, never got your name,” Josh. That was his name. He wasn’t the best man but he was fairly close with the groom. There was a split second where you allowed yourself to imagine what would happen if you introduced yourself. The few weeks of easy affection and the hope, however brief, that you would finally find use for the bouquet within your ribs. Poppies could represent something soft and romantic instead of a constant reminder that you were left behind. Abandoned on a windowsill to wilt.

But you had played that game before and eventually the thorns would grow too big or you would pull away from a kiss to watch them pull petals from their mouth. And then when you left, the ache would be so intense you were sure it would kill you. 

“You didn’t need it.” The gap closed between the two of you just enough to give him a pat on the shoulder before leaving. You didn’t look back at him as you waved. “Goodnight Josh.”

He was still standing there when you pulled out of the parking lot. New York didn’t feel nearly as big as it used to as you pulled up to your apartment and went through the motions of packing up. Four years on the dot. More than enough time to make a name for yourself that you could use as reference when you arrived wherever you were going. 

Instead you ran a bath of scalding water and lingered in the water until you could convince yourself that the brief flicker of warmth you felt was not Dream reappearing in the waking world after a century of silence, but rather that it was just the water. There was no love for nightmares, no matter where you went that was true, and if there was to be no love for you in either realm at least in the world of the waking you could peek through the windows at its beauty.

There was, however, voices in the living room that shouldn’t be. It was hard to make out the words but you knew the deep baritone and creaking of floorboards were not from the television. You hadn’t even brushed by the thing since yesterday evening when you finished your last minute paperwork.

Pajamas were slipped into quickly and quietly, footsteps muffled from the towel you’d placed on the ground to absorb any of the water spilled from your movement in the bath. Your throat burns with the scratching of vines creeping up it and your hand shakes as you hover over the doorknob. You don’t fear whoever is on the other side, you worry for them. To be buried in flowers sounds so beautiful until you see it happen. 

“Are you sure about this boss?” You don’t know the voice, but there’s a strange chirp like sound at the end of his sentence. There’s no malice but the words do quiver slightly. Whatever his boss is doing is making him nervous. 

You don’t wait for his boss to respond before opening the door and allowing the thorny vines that had been writhing under your skin to pierce through. The petals that suffocated you were flowing freely from your mouth, piling up at your feet. 

The man in front of you doesn’t budge from the monstrous image and when you manage to look him in the eye, the thorns retreat.

“What are you doing here?” It’s your turn for your voice to shake as you look at Dream. He seems tired, but not ill, gaunt but strong enough to demand respect in the center of your living room. Behind him is a raven, not jessamy but you knew how to recognize the king’s familiars in moments.

Dream doesn’t respond, voice just as you remembered it the last time you spoke over a hundred years ago. For his part, he says nothing about what the piles of petals at your feet or the way your jaw drops open. The last time you had seen him plays in snapshots in your mind. 

“All I have ever asked was that you let me have some semblance of a home. I have lingered at the edge of your shadow for millennia and all I have to show for it is the same empty chasm within myself that I had upon my first breath!”

His features were just as hard as they had been then. Except for the fact that he had his hands hidden from you now. Tucked away into the pockets of his jacket, eyes softer than was warranted for a nightmare. Morpheus loved all of the dreaming, but he was never soft with a nightmare, it isn’t what you were made for.

“We can talk about this when I return.”

“Corinthian told me you have begun to use a new name,” He speaks as if this was a social call. Nothing more than two friends catching up together instead of a call for you to return to your duties or a warning of your punishment to come from leaving your post. Its all you can do to move far enough into the living room to rest your weight against an armchair.

“Yeah, I have. I found that (Y/n) fit me a bit better than Isolation.” The raven gave a startled sort of noise, head whipping between the two of you before falling back into silence. “I’m sorry, you’re new right?”

“Yeah, sorry. Name’s Mathew,” It suited him. Names usually did. Perhaps that was why Dream was still staring at you with that closed book expression regarding your new title. The warm lights of your apartment looked strange on his cool toned skin. Your life here had been built up in such a carefully human way that you weren’t sure that he was really there at all. Mathew looked like he belonged on your couch more and he was a literal raven. 

Your chest aches again. To know that Dream is so close, that his whole attention is on you for however brief a moment, it’s intoxicating. It’s also suffocating.

“Well, is there a point to this call?” There are snappier responses on the tip of your tongue but you can’t will them into existance. Not when your king, the only person you have ever truly longed for, was taking such slow and graceful steps in your direction.

“(Y/n),” your voice sounds like a prayer on his lips. You had chosen it for yourself because you loved it but that love is easy to grow accustomed to, to take for granted. To hear Dream say your name is to fall in love all over again, both with your self chosen identity and the king who spoke as if you were something precious he couldn’t afford to loose. “I would like for you to come home.”

You will. His hand moves from his pocket to rest in the air, palm up. You know, despite only having brushed by his hands with your own on rare occasions, that his skin will be cool to the touch, near freezing given that your skin was still steaming from the bath. 

Mathew watches the two of you, you wonder what he must think to see someone stare so intensely at Lord Morpheus’ hand.

“Why did you abandon us?” the room chills by several degrees but you don’t look away from the extended hand that stays just in your reach. “I would rather have been unmade on the spot where I stood than spent a hundred years thinking that you just didn’t care enough to come back and finish the job.”

“I have always cared for you, I care for all of the Dreaming.” A single cough, enough to dislodge a stray petal that you pull from your mouth with little more than a sad scoff. 

“I know. Gods I know you care, that’s what hurt the worst. I know I’m not made to be loved or cherished like a dream is, like you are, but when you said you were coming back to talk to me I had hoped-” the words die on your tongue. You were willing to reveal more than you had ever before, but some things were still too personal to put into the air. You can only imagine the chaos that could be inflicted by someone like Desire should they catch you straying too close to their realm.

The silence is heavy and you can’t tell if you would rather it end or stretch forever. At least in this space of in between he hadn’t confirmed your fears yet. The petal you had been playing with was slowly picked from your grasp and it looked even more fragile in Dream’s touch. 

“Was I really so cruel that you would think so little of me?” His voice is little more than a whisper. In fact you weren’t sure that Mathew was able to hear the two of you all. That was probably for the best though given that you were currently struggling to breathe once more and barely managed to sputter out a word before being cut off once more.

“Little-”

“You came to me with a problem and I had every intent on fixing it.” His gaze burns into you but there’s no bravery left to meet him. You just accept that he is examining you. If his face was the opposite of the careful regret in his voice you’re not sure you wanted to see it anyhow.

“You’re a king. You’re able to do whatever you want and that didn’t include finding me.” The floorboards crack as Dream moves closer again. It’s just another foot or so but you can nearly feel the brush of his jacket against you where it sways.

“It was not for a lack of wanting to search,” Mathew shuffles a bit on the couch behind Dream. Does he know who you are? If he doesn’t, who does he think he is meeting? In the time that you look away to Mathew your king moves ever closer. A single hand reaches up to your cheek at the speed which would make the erosion of stone feel like a flash in the pan of time. “I should not have made you in this image.”

“But you did.” You sound as breathless as you feel and can’t help but close your eyes at the intimacy of the moment. Millenia of longing, of starvation for the barest of touches had left you in this predicament. You can feel every atom of where you end and he began and wished that you could press those atoms even closer together to close whatever space remained between you for this moment.

“Yes.” A second hand comes up as the first lowers, both of them cupping your face. You can feel Dream’s breath on your skin but you still fear what you may find in his eyes if you look.

“Why?”

It takes him longer than you thought it would to answer and you swallow no less than three budding flowers in that time. Stress had never seemed to activate the more painful parts of your condition before and yet now you were sure that it did.  

“Because when you were made, I was alone and that had seemed the worst nightmare of all. And now that I am not I see that I was correct.” There’s a flutter of wings that draws your attention and Mathew, who just a split second before had seemed to be elated with something, now turned his head down sheepishly.

It’s enough to make you smile, which is enough to give you the strength to look him in the eyes. Dream’s eyes have always been that which you admired most about him. No matter the color or shape his eyes always seem to hold infinite depths within them. Morpheus was the Dreaming and his eyes were the ocean which never quite calmed enough to navigate safely.

“Glad to be of service your majesty.” The title causes a twist, nearly imperceivably, in his expression. Had you not been watching the man so closely you would have missed it you were sure. The hands do not leave your face and for a second you allow yourself to daydream of leaning forward, of kissing him. 

“You have done more than I could have asked of you, (Y/n), It is time to rest.” His hands are cool on your face and cool where you rest your own hands over them, a silent ask for him not to withdraw, not to leave you alone in your own skin again. “Please, come home. Let me remake you into something less cruel.”

It should make you nervous, the thought of being unmade. It should drive you to the brink of fear and anger and cause you to run or fight but instead you imagine living without the burden of want and your body relaxes. 

“Do you promise it will be kind?” If Dream had been mortal he would not have heard you. It’s little more than a thought, your lips barely move. But Dream is not mortal and your eyes close just as soon as he nods, eyes still locked in on yours.

“You have both my word,” his voice deepened and the volume dropped as you feel his lips press to your forehead ever so lightly. “and my deepest apologies.”

The magic of the moment lingers as you feel yourself slinking into the dark of the void beyond. It isn’t particularly cold or particularly warm but you feel something you can only attribute as peace as you faded into the depths.

Being born again is as easy as waking up. The first sound is the crashing of waves on a familiar shore and the first smell is salt and water. Your new eyes’ first sight is so similar to your old ones that you’re almost not sure that this isn’t a memory for a moment.

But then Dream smiles, small and questioning in its silence, and something in you melts. Your hand moves to cover your mouth on instinct only to find...nothing. No petals. No torn up mouth. No vines. 

Through your self exploration, the turn you make as you look for any sign of nightmare within yourself and the laughter that builds slowly but surely until you can’t keep it in anymore, Morpheus says nothing. You’re not sure how long you stand there because time has always been such a nebulous concept in the Dreaming, and yet you know that it’s long enough for you to make yourself dizzy from the spinning.

“What’s my title?” The king finally seems to snap out of whatever daze he had found himself in while you looked over the familiar build. From what you could tell it was exactly the same save for the self consuming flowers that threatened to rip yourself apart from the inside.

"Anything you would like it to be,” You spin again, elated at the ability to move without the feeling of constriction around your bones. Dream’s voice is warm and you can hear the smile again as you stumble to a stop, closer than you would have ever dared without an excuse to fall back on. An excuse you wouldn’t need if the sudden presence of a cool hand against your hip to steady you was any sign of approval. The closeness makes it hard to focus on air again, caught instead by the intensity of the look leveled your way. “You told me that you would grant me anything I asked of you, and yet you never stopped to wonder why I could not bring myself to ask.”

Your hand shakes as you bring it to his face as he did to yours in the waking world. Every moment is slow in case he were to change his mind, to give him a opportunity to pull away. Dream doesn’t though and to feel him lean into your touch is enough to make you giddy all over again. It makes it easier to ignore the way that your stomach has begun doing summersaults at the thought that your longing had been but one side of a window for all this time.

“I didn’t think you wanted anything I had to offer.”

“I wanted everything you had to offer and then some. I would have destroyed you.” It’s a statement, a fact. And yet you can’t help but take a step closer into his personal space, to lean more into him and see if he would support you. Dream does, without question or comment. 

“Maybe. But I would have taken it nonetheless.” A second hand joined the first on the opposite hip and now that you were secure and there was no way to run from the situation you had found yourself in there was a spark of bravery in your veins. Not quite enough to lean forward and kiss him yet, but enough that despite his gaze you didn’t shy away from openly admiring him. “I still would if you offered.”

“And if I offered a place at my side instead?”  There’s quiet again. Morpheus holding your hips and you holding his face and the neither of you speaking, just swaying ever so slightly in the wind.

“I would take it.” Tension slips away at the confession. A small release in the lines of his brow and an easier lilt to his smile. “You could ask me to be your advisor or your jester alike and I would accept either with the same optimism.”

“And if I would ask to court you?” The kings voice isn’t scared, but it is cautious. His words even slower, his swaying stopping long enough for him to make eye contact during which he seems to search your very being.

“Dream,” The gaze doesn’t break. “Morpheus, I would give you everything I am for nothing more than a moment with you.”

The silence returns just for a beat, something you can hear unobstructed from within your chest for the first time. And then, like the sun rising over the horizon, a smile lights up Dream’s face as he leans his face ever nearer your own.

“Is that a yes?” You can feel his words against your lips for how close you two are and you can only hope that when you close that final gap he doesn’t doubt your answer too terribly much.

Although, if he did you had some ideas on how to convince him.

[ectonurites]

is batgirls worth reading if you're not a big batgirls fan?

Um! frankly I think not being a big fan of them/not being as familiar with them already would probably make it more enjoyable than reading it loving/knowing a ton about the pre-existing versions of them LMAO

like the first issue was fun and cute, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s pretty enjoyable as a standalone thing. It’s just the tone doesn’t particularly match the characters as they’ve existed before so it makes it kinda hard to grapple with when you’re already a big fan of the characters. If you go in with less expectations/knowledge of the girls then I think it’d probably be more enjoyable.

But also the downfall is that the start of it tied into Fear State stuff, like you could read it without that sure but a lot of context & the prologue backup stories are all directly tied into the huge bat event djsjsjsh so that does make it a little more difficult as a jumping-on point.

[husbandomail-archive]

I super hate being radio silent here and I’ve been thinking about this anyways as things have been recently changing in my life, so I think this is probably a good time to say it

preface: on this blog, I’d like you to still call me Jo, because that’s still the name I’m using here, and I’m not going to bother changing tags or my about page, so you can use that name for me however long you want. but I chose that name specifically for this blog, because my father learned my other name and I’ve been hiding this entire time.

my name is also Gira, and as I’ve mentioned, I used to run another writing blog; I’m not going to talk about it or link you to it, but there are several people in my followers list that I’m pretty sure will recognize me now that I’ve given you my original name lmao. nearly three years ago, my father found my main account, and I had to deactivate not just my blog, but also nearly everything else, because he found. everything. it was a huge mess, and uh ngl, kinda ruined my life lmao. so I’ve been using other names since then just to keep him from finding me again. all that to say, please just keep calling me Jo on this blog. that’ll actually be a huge help in keeping my father from finding me again, because even once he can no longer do anything to me, that doesn’t mean I... want him seeing this stuff lmao.

ANYWAYS I tell you all that partially just to get it off my chest, because I’m going back to using my old username in other places now that I’m graduating, but also. while I’m busy, I figured I’d give y’all my quotev backup blog to read! it has several links that would’ve told you I’m Gira anyways, so I figured I might as well just tell you ahead of time instead of y’all finding out accidentally. when my father found my accounts, I ended up losing a lot of the stories I’d been working on, so I’ve been using this blog to back up the things I’ve done since then. currently it’s almost entirely Pokémon and Yugioh ahaha

you can also find my quotev through this blog, but tbh it’s not very good, I’ve been using it for six years and my writing has changed a lot over time lmao. I’m actually drafting up a few new things to post over there once I’m done with school though, so I guess feel free to keep an eye out, if the blog content interests you?

anyways!! sorry to just drop such a bombshell on you out of nowhere!! please, just call me Jo, that really is what I want!

the blog is @quillreflections​! I hope the few things there are enjoyable!

[twoidiotwriters1]

Starcrossed Losers X (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: How was your Christmas? Hopefully, it went better than Y/N’s day on this chapter lmao don’t forget to leave feedback! <3

Words: 4,947

Warnings: Injuries and swearing, feelings and stuff.

Previous chapter // Next chapter

Today I’m gonna tell you a little story about how I’m full of shit. Delicately divided into three parts for your enjoyment. 

It’s pretty much all the same, the only thing that changes is the person.

Alex. 

Josh.

Let’s start with the first part, shall we? Which is called:

Confusion.

Before the nuke, my life was as normal and sad as any random teenager would have it. I was a student with good parents who didn’t really understand me, but they tried. A sibling, friends, likings and feelings. It was the latter what caused me trouble.

Alex and I met in elementary school. He sat down next to me and we shared our undying love for Adventure Time and Treasure Planet. During years our friendship consisted on knowing all of our embarrassing stories, coping our answers on every test and a bunch of firsts. He was there when I got my first period, and I witnessed Alex’s first drunken night with friends. 

It was when I talked to Maya that everything kind of started to fall apart.

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My ears are buzzing, I feel my eyes dry and irritated. I know I passed out although I don’t feel like I slept, if anything, I’m more tired than before. I try to push myself up but my wrist hurts and I’m not strong enough. I fall against a thin pillow and only then I look around. 

There’s nothing but cages with teens, I recognize some from school. Judging by the smell, we are in Hoyles’ fabric. I was right, this was Baron Triumph’s home.

My hand pulsates as a reminder of how screwed I am. 

‘Is it broken or is it just sprained?’ The light sucks in here, I can’t really tell how it looks so I inhale sharply, ‘Okay, then...’

I move my wrist slowly to one side and then the other. I feel pain, lots of pain. But I can move it, so chances are is not broken. As long as I don’t move, I’ll be fine. I struggle to sit with only one hand as support and notice my skates are missing and my knee has a huge bruise on it. 

I know I’ll die. 

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We were thirteen at the moment. It wasn’t like I knew right away that I liked Alex, I just got slightly upset every time he would hold hands with Amy and sad whenever he would cancel plans to hang out with her. You can imagine how betrayed I felt.

“You’re just jealous,” Maya sighs, laying upside down on my bed.

“Of who?” I ask in amusement, “I already told you, I don’t want a boyfriend.”

“You want Alex.”

I laugh, kicking her leg playfully.

“That’s a lie. And dumb,” I reply matter-of-factly, “he’s just my friend!”

“Exactly. Please, you’re too shy to admit you like him but we all know.”

“Liar,” I sing, “Alex and Amy are cute together and all, just annoys me that he doesn’t want to spend more time with us.”

“That doesn’t sound like you’re crushing at all,” She rolls her eyes, smirking.

“Shut up!” I complain, “that doesn’t mean I like him!”

It didn’t... right? I started to recapitulate all of our time together. Alex was a great boy. He was good to me and my family loved him, why was so weird to consider him as a possible love interest? Maybe Maya was right. I did like him and this was my way cope with it.

“Maya,” I say under my breath, “what if I do like him?”

“Oh my god,” She stands up abruptly, “you do!”

“What do I do?” I ask in horror, “I don’t wanna ruin it! He’s my best friend!”

“Who cares?” She replies, “It’s time you do something about it!”

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Something falls inside the bucket in front of me and I stand (with huge difficulty, since I only have one good hand and knee), when I get closer and grab a handful the smell grows stronger, so I drop the flakes on the ground in disgust.

“Am I supposed to eat this?” I ask out loud, “I’ll rather starve”

“You will,” Says a voice above me, “don’t be dramatic, Y/N. Eat up.”

I feel something close to panic when I recognize the voice.

“Maya?”

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After that I tried to understand what the fuck was going on. I couldn’t do anything until I knew my feelings for Alex.

You know how that turned out. 

Nothing made sense, what was our friendship but something magical brought to me in order to end up with true romantic love, right? Well, I had opinions on that.

Our friendship was old as hell, Alex was constantly changing partners so you can tell why I was so against dating him. I decided that if my first love was going to hurt me, it would be anyone but Alex murphy.

Which takes us to the second part that I call:

That definitely isn’t love.

Let me tell you something, and I don’t mean to say this in order to make you sad, I do it so you’re not scared of going through the same thing (if you ever find yourself in a situation like this) and you can handle the shit like a champ.

Life will go on. Seriously, it hurts and oh, how tragic it is to lose someone so dear to your heart! But really, things like that will pass, and you’ll get through and life won’t even stop its course. You wanna know why? Cause it’s all so small, our tiny little lives won’t affect how the world moves outside our houses.

I know, that may sound awful, but to be honest, it’s also relieving. No matter how many mistakes you can make in your life, it won’t stop moving. That’s great, it means you won’t stop growing, you’ll get out of that hole sooner or later.

The feeling I got from that simple, chaste kiss with Alex confused my brain and got me all kinds of anxious about nothing. The only way I felt was guilty. I wanted to erase that moment from existence.

Okay, it was my fault too. I kissed him back, I didn’t know that was wrong until it was done! I told you already, I was confused as hell.

I had to quietly make my way out and go back to the way it used to be. 

Then he broke up with Stuart and started to ask me if I wanted to go back to the old routine of watching movies together, or going to the mall only the two of us, just skipping school to spend time together... I happily accepted, thinking it was all platonic. The apocalypse came on the worst timing, we were part of a group that day by day became smaller until it was only the two of us.

I wanted to find my sister so badly that I left the thought aside to work with him as a team, then he had to ask me to leave town with him, start a new life together...  Alex was holding on to an illusion that I knew it was bound to fail, so I put a hard stop to it. One that ended our friendship as well.

And that’s the reason why I ran away from him. My feelings couldn’t be reciprocated if I wanted to survive on this hell.

Sacrifices must be made when you’re facing the end of the world.

Then something amazing happened: I lived. I created a new life on my own, where I could do things my way and didn’t need any other person around. With the new life, my old wishes vanished, and so did my feelings for Alex, or anyone else who belonged with old, naive Vinchi.

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Which brings me to the present, where I’m on big denial about one little thing: I may not be the same girl, but I still have the same heart, along with the same feelings, memories, and grudges.

“You still won’t talk to me?”

“You still trying after three hours of ignoring you?” I scoff, “leave me alone, Maya.”

“You’re acting like a child! I thought you understood why I left you and Alex to join the Cheeramazons”

“I understand that we weren’t important to you in the first place,” I reply bitterly.

“God, Y/N. It’s not like I did it to get away from you. I wanted protection and to learn some badass skills. The Cheeramazons offered both and to be honest, it was worth it.”

“If they were so good at protecting their people, then why are you here?”

“I went out looking for adventure. You know me, I was never one to enjoy routines.”

“Sure.”

“You’re on your own?”

“On this cage? Yeah... In general? Well, I’m with some kids... remember Wesley Fists?”

“What?” I hear her snicker, “How did you two end up together?”

“It’s a long story... all Josh’s fault.”

“Little Josh with the big truck?”

“Uh, no. Wheeler. I did a project with him once, you know? He used to wave at me in the halls whenever we passed by..?”

“I don’t remember him at all.”

“I figured,” I sigh, “Where are you anyway?”

“Judging by where your voice sounds... I think I’m above your cage”

“Well, don’t get too attached to the sound of my voice, I’ll be out of here soon”

“Why, you’re actually planning on starving?” She inquires, “Did your brain turn Ghoulie?”

“Look, I have a sprained wrist and a swollen knee, I’m not going anywhere on my own... but I have a backup. If Josh and Wesley weren’t caught...”

“What happened with Alex? Is he with you too?”

“None of your business, quitter.”

“Come on, Y/N...”

“You left us. I’m not engaging in any fun chats with you. You weren’t that interest to be a part of our group since the beginning so I don’t even know why I’m mad about it, it was a matter of time”

I know I sound too hard. She was supposed to be my friend, though. Never looked back when she got bored from our little group like it was all child’s play. Now she acts like it’s all cool? Nothing is cool. Nothing at all. I’m about to get eaten!

“Look, I’m sorry-”

“Shut up”

“Don’t be rude, I’m trying to-”

“Shut up! Can you hear that?” I lean closer to the cage’s door and stay silent, Maya following my advice and listening to the hurried steps coming from the hall.

“You know where the keys are?” A voice that I know well emerges from the dark, “Where are we going?”

“Josh?” I stand up surprisingly fast, “Is that you?”

“Y/N!” I hear him rushing towards me and suddenly his face is inches away from mine, barely illuminated, “You’re here! I only saw Wesley when I woke up and I thought you were taken by the Jocks”

“How did you get out of your cage?” I ask with incredulity, “Who are you talking to if it’s not Wesley?”

“A girl got me out, I drop my tweezers and she found them”

“Then get me out!”

“I can’t, they’re broken,” He apologizes, “but I’m going to get the keys and I’ll get you out, I promise.”

“On your own? You’re gonna get killed”

“Triumph just left, I have time,” He points at my leg, “How’s your knee?”

“It hurts. I also hurt my wrist but I don’t know if that happened after the grenade or when I fell,” I wanna act like I’m not scared, but my anxiety is eating me alive, “Josh please don’t go alone, please don’t do it”

“I’ll come back,” He insists, “but if I don’t, I wanna tell you... you became someone important to me, Y/N. Please don’t blame yourself if things go wrong, it was my turn to help you, I owe it to you.”

And without giving me time to reply, Josh leaves.

“Josh Wheeler,” Maya speaks up again, “I remember him now. Blue eyes and a funny smile, right?”

“Yeah,” I frown, still looking at the hall where he disappeared “that’s my stupid Josh.”

“Your Josh?” She asks in a suggestive voice, “alright, I get it now.”

“You get what?”

“He’s your new Alex. I bet you’re always doing nice things to keep him in a good mood and he never gives back cause well, he doesn’t have to. Why would he? When you keep on giving things away for free. See, that’s the sort of stuff the Cheeramazons teach you to throw away, you don’t need boys to survive,” She states.

“He is not Alex,” I correct in irritation, “and I learned that on my own, thank you. It’s funny, you forgot to mention that I also did a lot of things to keep you happy.”

“Is that supposed to help your case?” She sighs, “I know you’re hurt for what I did to you but you won’t stop having your heart broken if you keep doing the same things”

“Joke’s on you, I already fixed that shit up,” I keep my eyes fixed on the hall, “Josh is just a friend.”

You and I know that isn’t true. Yet, is not a lie either. 

Josh is just a friend, I have it under control. All I need is to keep it to myself, no accidental kissing or falling into each other’s arms anymore. I don’t have feelings fighting to come out. I’m not thinking about how Josh said I was important to him. 

Which takes us to part three:

Why don’t you just kick me in the face? It hurts less, thank you.

Ah, the pleasure it brings us to finally be free from inner guilt.

This part doesn’t have a flashback, cause you already read this part. I told Josh the story. Alex and I weren’t right together so I let him go. It hurt like a bitch but now he’s far away and I can be at peace now. I control my life.

How? For starters, if I meet a cute, nice guy like Josh, I step back and stay as friends and Boom! Problem solved. I figured my life out, I have nothing to be afraid of. I conquered.

...

...

You know I’m lying, don’t you?

You know what, there’s no way I’ll get myself out of this. I’ll let the action roll.

“I think your buddy Josh got eaten by Triumph,” Maya mentions like she’s talking about the weather, “it’s time you accept it.”

“Honestly, it’s time you stop talking,” I reply with indifference, “you don’t know him”

“And I never will,” She snorts.

I’m about to reply when I hear screams coming from the entrance and I finally see Josh sprinting back towards the cages. Triumph is following him, when he gets closer I realize is not Hoyles.

“Principal Burr?” I inquire in mild disappointment, but calmer than before “okay then, Josh can totally survive to that”

“Don’t be so sure about it, Vinchi,” Maya adds, “Burr is not a common human anymore.”

“Shhh! I can’t hear what they’re saying!”

Josh is trying to convince the principal to let us go, he walks towards the tubes in the middle of the fabric and I can’t see what’s going on. Burr is not touched by the speech, he says he didn’t kill Sam, and my heart skips a beat.

“Sam Dean?” Maya asks above me, “she’s dead?”

“It happened two days ago,” I whisper, “that’s the whole reason why we came, cause Josh wanted to avenge her death...”

“Why would he do that?”

“He was dating her.”

“Oh,” A second of silence, “really? Him?”

“He’s not that bad,” I retort immediately.

“Sure, whatever you say...” She mumbles.

I say something under my breath that is mostly an insult, then an idea comes to mind.

“Maya, you can see what’s happening?”

“Kinda”

“Where are they?”

“Inside the big tubes...”

She narrates the whole thing while I also half-listen to the argument they’re having. She stops for what it feels like an eternity and the kids around us start to scream.

“Kill him!”

“Kill him!”

“He’s gonna do it,” Maya murmurs.

And I don’t know what to feel, cause I never thought Josh would get this close to his goal. Although now it’s different, Burr didn’t kill Sam. Would he kill him anyway? I’m not defending Burr, by the way! He still ate a bunch of kids. Just saying that If he does this, he will certainly disappoint Wesley. 

He would be saving tons of children, though. In my opinion, he could cut him in half and still be a good person. 

I hear Josh scream and the sound of his sword against metal.

“Holy shit, is he dead?” I ask.

“I don’t... I can’t tell- he’s moving a lot...” Maya complains.

A few others seconds of silence, then Burr’s voice.

“You missed.”

“Holy shit, he’s alive,” I gasp. 

And with that, I mean both of them.

“No. I didn’t,” Josh replies.

The machinery starts to work all of a sudden and I feel my stomach tensing with fear. 

What are they doing?

“Where are they?” I ask urgently, “Tell me!”

But just as I finish the sentence I hear steps... and the sound of keys being shaken in the air.

“He got the keys!” Maya screams excitedly, “The son of a bitch did it! We’re free!”

“What about Burr?” I question.

“He locked him up inside the tubes!”

The sound of chains falling and doors clicking is like music to my ears. I hear Maya running out of her cage only to see her appearing in front of me with a wild smile on her face. She hasn’t changed that much, her hair is shorter and her clothes are not the same, but she’s still the hyperactive girl I used to know.

“Good to see you, Vinchi.”

“Hi,” I reply, “be good and get me out of here”

She calls over to the kid that is opening cage by cage and I’m finally free. Maya gives me a tight hug that I return unsure.

“This is great! You can come with me now, become a Cheeramazon!”

“What?” I pull away.

“I can see you’ve toughened up these last few months, they’ll definitely take you in!”

“I don’t want to be a Cheeramazon,” I frown. 

I’m still barefoot, but I’m hoping I can find something to wear before I leave.

“Y/N it’s the best choice,” She replies, “come on, we can be part of the same tribe just like before! You and I, the classic duo we used to be...”

“I’m tired of old times,” I answer, “I'm a different person. I don’t do duos anymore.”

“Vinchi...” She pouts. 

There, another friendship that dies.

Maybe I could’ve tried to convince her to go with me instead. However, I never got to finish that conversation, cause right at that moment, I heard Josh’s voice.

“Y/N?” He asks loudly, “Y/N, where are you?”

“Josh!” I limp as fast as I can towards his voice, “Josh, I’m right here!”

“Y/N?!” His voice gets clearer as I walk further into the mass, “Where are you?!”

He’s standing right in front of me, a few feet ahead. I run over to him, ignoring the way my knee feels about it. Josh turns around just in time to catch me when I jump in for a hug.

“I’m with you!” I say breathless, trying to keep my wrist away from any harm, softly supported around his neck, “You did it! You saved us!”

“I promised, didn’t I?” His smile is as big as mine, and we’re so close I can see the freckles the sun has left on the bridge of his nose.

He pulls away and turns slightly, pointing at something hanging from his hip.

“I saw them out there...” I look down and I see my skates, all clean and looking good as new, “thought you might want them back”

“What the hell?” I exclaim, “You’re the best!”

Impulsive as usual, I go for another hug, this time kissing his cheek in the process. When I notice my mistake I pull back but Josh keeps me in place, now I’m self-conscious and probably all red.

“Am I a shitty partner still?” He smirks.

Someone accidentally hits my hand and I whimper, hugging it tightly against my chest.

“Crap, I forgot...” 

Josh’s smile vanishes immediately changing to a worried expression.

“Let’s go back to the mall, you need help”

“And I’m starving”

Josh chuckles, nodding.

“And will get you something to eat”

He gives me the skates and I hold them with my good hand, walking towards the exit. 

I start to feel a bit hopeful about what the future could bring to us, Josh and me. I can’t lie to myself after this, you saw the whole thing, right? It’s obvious. Josh is not my new Alex for one simple reason: I don’t have a crush on Alex anymore.

I am, however, totally crushing on stupid Josh.

Just when I decide to come into terms with my new realization, it happens:

 Someone walks in front of me and immediately catches my eye. How couldn’t, when I thought I would never see that back again for the rest of my life?

“Alex..?”

I drop my skates, an urgent need to run away as far as I can winning over my common sense. This can’t be happening, this can’t be Alex. He's gone. He’s supposed to be away in New York living his best life or something.

But the boy turns around and it’s the same eyes I’ve known since I was a kid.

“Y/N?” He’s not totally glad to see me. The frown on his face tells me he is just as stunned as me, few terrible seconds pass where we don’t know what to do.

 Josh is the one who talks first.

“Hold on,” He turns to me, “is he..?”

“An old friend from Highschool, yes,” I look at him with wide eyes, pleading ‘Keep your mouth shut!’ “like Maya.”

“Maya’s also here?” He asks loudly, and since I’m the luckiest girl alive, Maya is nearby to hear us.

“That’s me,” She sees the boy in front of us, “oh my god, Alex?”

“Maya?” Alex’s eyes light up, “You’re okay!”

“How did you end up here?!” She walks up to him and gives him a tight hug.

“Uh, Y/N,” Josh whispers beside me, “What is happening?”

“I think I died when that grenade exploded,” I respond overwhelmed.

“I came back like a month ago,” Alex replies, hugging her with the same animosity, then he looks right at me, “I left some unfinished business behind.”

Oh, that’s great. First, everyone leaves and now they all want to make up for it. To go back and be the best friends we used to be. Well, I’m sorry I think I lost the part where that was my problem.

“We can help you!” Maya assures him, completely misunderstanding his comment, “Vinchi and I, like the good old days”

“Vinchi?” Josh questions.

“Y/N,” Maya looks at him with a judgy expression, “you’re her friend but you don’t know her nickname?”

“No one calls me that,” I cross my arms, wincing after accidentally pulling the muscle in my wrist, “not anymore, at least. I never told him.”

“But you love it,” She frowns, “everyone calls you that.”

“Everyone who used to call me that is gone,” I say, “you two are the only ones left and I’m kindly asking you to not include me on your mission. I have to go back to my friends.”

“We are your friends, Y/N” Alex replies.

“I meant my most recent friends,” I pick up the skates from the floor and nudge Josh, “let’s go, Angelica must be worried.”

“Y/N, are you sure?” Josh asks under his breath. When I don’t reply, he grabs me by the shoulder and turns my body to face him, “listen I know you feel like you have to stay because I told you we needed you, but you’re free to go with them if you want. They’re your best friends after all and I know Alex... I know how hard it was on you to be alone.”

I can’t tell exactly what he’s thinking right now and that frustrates me. His expression tells me he’s hurt, I just don’t know if it is because he thinks I’m seconds away from leaving or because he’s nervous that I’ll blame him if I stay.

“I don’t want to go, Josh,” I reach for his hand with the one that is holding my skates and brush it lightly, “I tried to leave before and something always stopped me from doing so. That has to mean something, I feel like my place is at the mall with all of you.”

“Y/N?” Maya speaks up, “You’re coming?”

“No,” I turn to face her, “I’m going with Josh.”

“Josh?” Alex looks at the boy next to me but he doesn’t seem to understand that I’m talking about him, “gay Josh or other gay Josh?”

“My Josh,” I point to my friend, “just... Josh.”

“Alright then,” Maya scoffs, “then we go too.”

“What?” I ask in alarm.

“Josh was telling the rest of the kids to follow him,” She smirks, “I hope you don’t mind, Vinchi.”

“Really?” I look at Josh, clenching my jaw. I’m unable to crush his arm with my hand since it’s injured and the other is occupied. He tries to apologize without speaking, but puppy eyes won’t work on me today, “We better get going then”

“Yeah,” He looks at me, begging for forgiveness, “we should... uh- your hand needs to...”

“Just move,” I grumble, walking past Alex and Maya with Josh calling out Wesley’s name to join us.

Full of shit I am, cause during all the way back I avoid looking over to Alex and Maya, despite saying I was over my past. 

I’m full of shit when Josh asks me if I need help and I tell him no, even though I’m barefoot and I keep stepping on rocks on accident cause it’s too dark outside. Without mentioning I just admitted to myself that I’m crushing on him and now I don’t know what will I do to keep it a secret when Angelica looks for any excuse and watches me closely to see if she’s right. 

And Josh? Well, he avenged Sam’s death... kinda. I don’t know if that’s enough to calm his nerves or if he’ll keep going until he’s done killing every bad guy on Glendale, which are too many to count. I don’t even know if he’s interested in me the same way I am. 

What am I saying? Of course he’s not! He spent six months of his life on this goose chase and I’m expecting that suddenly he feels something for me just because I saved his life once? Ugh, I'm not even sure if I’ll actually stay permanently at the mall...

“Hey! We’re home!” Josh exclaims as soon as we step inside the mall, “So I brought some friends... Cool if they crash here?”

“Fuck to the no!” I’m surprised to see Eli outside of his side of the mall, “How many times do I gotta say-?”

Angelica puts a taser against his neck and electrocutes him on the spot, pushing him so he falls flat on the ground. 

“Yeah. It’s cool, I guess” She replies.

“Angelica!” I blurt out, walking towards Eli, “Don’t do that ever again!”

She ignores me, already rushing over to Josh and Wesley to receive them with a hug and excitedly welcome the kids that surround her. I’m happy for her, this must be nice considering how she spent most of her life alone.

“Your hand is bad,” Crumble states, kneeling beside me, “worms won’t fix it”

“I know,” I sigh, turning Eli face-up with my good hand and Crumble’s help, “I’ll fix it, don’t worry”

“Let me do it,” Alex crouches down and carries Eli to the bench behind us, laying him there.

“Thanks,” I mumble.

“It’s alright,” I can see by the corner of my eye that he’s looking at me, “listen, I came here to apologize. Things shouldn’t have ended that way between us. We were best friends...”

“Yeah, we were,” I punctuate, “you don’t have to be sorry. I’ve changed, I don’t need your words, I have a new life.”

“I see,” He looks away for a moment, his eyes finding Josh and Wesley, “How did you end up forming a group with them?”

“Accidents happen,” I shrug, “Josh brought me here. To be honest, I was doing fine on my own but I... I don’t know, I like it here.”

“I see that too,” He smiles, but it has a bitter undertone in it, “don’t worry. I’ll leave again tomorrow.”

“Stay,” I sigh in defeat, “it would be selfish to ask you otherwise, the mall belongs to all of us”

“You’re okay with that?” He frowns.

“Do it for the good old days,” I give him a small smile, “What’d you say?”

“It’s fine by me,” He nods, smiling back.

I don’t know how to end the conversation and I don’t have to think a lot about it, because Josh soon appears holding a stack of bandages.

“Hi,” He smiles openly at us and points to what he’s holding, “time to take care of you”

“Okay,” I raise my eyebrows, “sure...”

“See you later Y/N,” Says Alex, then he nods to Josh, “Wheeler...”

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @hollywaterpls​

[atrophiedcompassion]

having watched TROS for the second (and final) time in the cinema, here’s my full spoiler abundant review, also with comments on the nonalogy as a whole.

the movie works a lot better aka is more enjoyable the second time. we know what’s happening and i could relax and enjoy even the dumb moments and allow myself to feel, to be washed into the music and just feel my good feelings towards the finale.

the plot is still dumb as rocks, with the new old villain, resurrected. who not only is back but is giving our heroes a chance to find him before all shit breaks loose. why is the emperor so fucking arrogant?? why did TROS/JJ keep arguably the worst plot from TLL namely the race against a certain but exact time to do something to save the day?

the rey as palpatine still makes no sense. why did the jedi (in particular obi wan) call to her when she has the first force vision back on takodana if rey’s a palp?? JJ truly pisses on his very own movie isn’t he? and the emperor himself, he wants rey dead, twice he tells this verbatim to KR and then comments the rey killing plot was foiled to commander pryde...but then he actually welcomes her with open arms? or did he foresee his new death by rey should she reach exogol still alive? why should this death stick? ugghghgh.

the movie moves at record pace, no time to grieve, no time to catch your breath. the falcon/poe does impossible feats. the trio is united only to trail rey, finn in particular acting like a puppy. the only scene with finn that had any weight and developed his character was the scene with jannah when they’re fixing the falcon. BUT even then...i thought it was fine for the Force to guide finn out of his servitude. but maybe let the other former stormtroopers have some fuxking free will. not the force guiding them. there were so many moments when finn could’ve inspired former fellow stormtroopers to put down their weapons, but no. the spy could’ve been a stormtrooper, not the ridiculous hux doing things out of spite...

the worst scene in the movie? rey going on a fucking stroll on pasaana to meet kylo ren’s ship...and before that, the knights of ren literally posturing on a rock. i laughed out loud in the cinema it was so utterly ridiculous.

it’s all fucking plains, the fucking audience could see rey advancing through ochi’s ship screens. but somehow chewbacca gets captured and there’s a second transporter. the whole scene plays just so we can set up rey’s sith lightning abilities..?? fucking hell.

c3po’s sacrifice works for me. it’s the first moment of the rewatch where i got truly emotional and shed actual tears. and it’s not really cheapened by his memory being restored, since Finn actually mentions r2 might have a backup which 3po dismisses in his usual fashion. so 3po actually believed he was going to be fully erased. and that’s what matters. i found the 3po humour almost on par with the OT, although sometimes poe’s wayyy too aggressive with him. (i mean, poe loves droids, or at least his droid bb8, but is awfully dismissive of both 3po and D-O, just to fill in the han role i guess? it’s overdone)

the fight on the destroyer/kimiji is ok, again rey with the aggressive stance and the reveal is....nothing. rey has NO fucking reaction. she like scrunches her nose a little. she was just told the JJ equivalent to luke finding out vader’s his dad and rey’s just like. oh okay. bummer.

she should’ve fucking jumped like luke did. and maybe be retrieved on the falcon somehow. she should’ve expressed some pain. but no. rey’s just as calm as before. maybe even calmer, now that she knows the whole truth.

the death star sequence. dumb as hell to imagine the dagger has coordinates to the fucking wreckage of DS2??!??! who made it and when??!?!??! but let’s not overthink this. you get force powered rey making the ride with the skimmer and finding herself attacked by dark!rey..and then kylo come by and apparently knows this? because he tells her that now she’s tainted and can’t go back to leia either??!

WHAT THE FUCKKKK does JJ not know how the fucking force works??? i mean was it a fucking inside joke when han says that’s not how the force works in TFA??? uughghghgh. i know TROS is trying its best to almost completely retcon TLJ, but the way the Force was described there, like a balance, decay from where new life spawns, THAT WAS A GOOD THING FFS!!!!

no, JJ thinks that jedi are all pure beings and sith are dark brooding monsters and if a jedi or equivalent has even the faintest connection to the dark side, they’re fucking done!!!!!! (when the FUCKING OT SAYS THE FUCKING OPPOSITE, even a shred of goodness can help you get back to the light)

and if that was SUPPOSED to be KR’s way of getting rey to join him on his fieldtrip to exogol...my god he’s fucking dumb as hell. rey’s resisted his offer every fucking time (altho during the force call on pasaana he tells her he will turn her and she says we’ll see. she didn’t say no lmao), why would she fucking say yeah sure now? just because she had a fucking vision of dark herself??!?!?

still, dark!rey is fucking hot and i will probably cosplay her sometimes soon.

then comes the kylo - rey fight on the death star wreckage, where she attacks him, she’s aggressive, and is bested. and he’s about to kill her (even though he told her he has other plans, LOL) and then leia calls. or her call to her son finally reaches him (no more voicemail) and he falters, drops the saber and is impaled by rey.......who also senses leia’s passing.

and we have ben again and the scene with han solo plays and it’s pretty fucking emotional. but i wish he had said father and not dad. dad feels unearned. father would’ve worked best, especially for such a serious, stoic char like ben, dad is far too playful. i would’ve wanted a moment more of ben mourning his mother too, but the movie’s gotta be done in 30 mins so we have no time for allowing emotional moments to sink in. note: finn & poe are in such a rush to get to leia they don’t even have time to wait a sec to be told properly that she’s fucking dead. fuck you movie.

the scenes with luke are good. of course, luke backtracks all of his development in TLJ (because fuck you that’s why) and apparently everyone knew she was a palpatine but they still trained her because fuck logic? this is just like the PT where they end up training anakin because they made a promise to a dead guy. lmao. and how convenient is that there’s another lightsaber, otherwise how would rey make an x at the end to (presumably) end palpatine?? hmmm. i said the jedi leia scene/flashback worked for me the first time i saw it, but in hindsight, the scene and motivation really takes a steaming dump on leia’s character, a mother afraid of her son and unwilling to help him. fuck you JJ. we never needed leia wielding a lightsaber. we only wanted leia using the force in some way that felt organic to her character. (sidestep: up until attack of the clones? when yoda first uses a lightsaber, i assumed he was enlightened and didn’t need actual weapons to wield the force. well, i hoped leia could be like that enlightened master yoda. but like all bad things in the SW universe, she ended up being as awful as puppet yoda with a toothpick lightsaber, cause how would we know she’s a jedi otherwise????)

so. because she refused kylo, and ended up alone on exogol and with the resistance trapped there, she’s actually considering palpatine’s offer??! and realises she has maybe another option when she senses ben’s there too??! then why the fuck didn’t they go together??!?! oh wait. i forgot she wanted to exile herself on ach-to LMAO.

and still. the whole palpatine plot train-wreck could’ve still worked had they actually used the pretty cool concept of Force Dyad for something good. i mean, KR tells this to rey on the destroyer. but apparently palp can’t do the math and is surprised when he takes a sip of their life essences??! like what the actual fuck, why isn’t palpatine aware of this?? if he (+plagueis) made vader and then he conceived his son. and then vader had leia and leia had ben and palp’s son had rey........why is KR able to put this together and not the FREAKING MASTER PUPPETEER of the whole fucking galaxy??!?!

anyway. back to the force dyad. we have awsome ben solo and rey reunited. ready to fight palps. but no. he freezes them and sucks the life force out of them. maybe the power of the force dyad of light users could be harmful to a sith?!??! maybe the power of a force dyad would help ben & rey resist palp?! maybe the power of a force dyad could be used to defeat palp?

but no. we get ben solo thrown into a pit so that palp and rey could reenact whitney houston’s hit

or, even worse, the year’s most anticipated battle of one liners: endgame. yeah, it was cool to hear all the jedi clamouring for rey, but this could’ve still worked as the jedi finally supporting ben skywalker organa solo for fucking once in the guy’s lifetime.

but no. JJ said fuck ben solo. he’s only good to give the life back to rey, then he can fuck off. i am not a reylo and i am not too bothered by ben’s death, as much as i am by his misuse. i mean, in such movies, we never really have to deal with reformed bad guys making amends. vader died, and so in a way, ben dying too and not having to be courtmartialled is actually convenient.

i have read some analysis where ben & rey being happy together is the undoing of anakin’s sad demise and brings peace to the skywalker line rather than pain and despair and that’s a valid premise, but realistically, ben’s death makes sense. they’d never be happy together in a hut somewhere, because ben still has to pay for a lot of damage. BUT his death is nothing but the crippling of the skywalker line, after a palp had defeated the palps. his death has little meaning in the story. them being a force dyad has little meaning, apart from powering palps back to his rots appearance. lmao

and finally, the death of ben is never mourned, never acknowledged. no-one is even told on screen about his return to the light (maybe maz felt it, when leia’s body vanished...) and his deeds. that kinda sucks. because luke took a moment to have a ceremony for vader, the force ghosts came through. here...we get nothing.

and then rey buries the anakin saber and leia’s saber on tatooine in sand no less (we need a sketch of anakin loudly complaining to rey about this)... and instead of finally accepting herself as being sufficient, she tacks on the legacy name. well done JJ.

(that was me when the credits rolled).

now, i love the OT more than life itself and the films give us meta to fill libraries. they are not perfect movies, but they are good, they tell a wonderful story with amazing characters and i will never stop loving them.

then the PT is made of really bad movies that now, in the light of TROS, surprisingly still come together as a trilogy far better than the ST lmao.

i still believe that the PT undermines and ruins Vader’s redemption in ROTS, because now you know exactly what he did (reminder: killed 30 children) and it’s hard to swallow. in the end, he dies to save his son and takes down the big bad so we can accept that he gains redemption in luke’s eyes alone and not necessarily in the audience’s. but ben solo didn’t even get that. he got thrown into a pit and crawled out only to give rey life lol.

anyway, TFA was okay at first, but i always had a huge gripe, aka the misuse of Leia and the complete silence on her being a Force user. like don’t even need ligthsaber fights from her, just gimme something explicit of her using the Force. she could’ve at the very fucking least sensed KR when he swoops in and abducts Rey on Takodana. but no. JJ fridged Leia from the get go, because he had no clue what to do with her. and then he fucked her character completely with what he believed was the flashback the fans wanted....UFHGHGHGH

JJ also and truly fridged Luke, because he had no idea what to do with Luke and the whole Force legacy either. he wanted to write a fun Han Solo adventure and by gods he did.

so, Luke. the guy vanishes the opening crawl tells us. he wasn’t abducted, so he must’ve exiled himself. people hating TLJ’s so called character assassination when it comes to Luke should point fingers at the real culprit, JJ. how could Luke do such a thing and run away (like JJ wrote him do) if he hadn’t done something significantly wrong?? it had to be FUCKING HORRIBLE. and so it is. because what Luke did was horrible and it set up for the fall to the dark side of poor, conflicted, manipulated and unloved Ben Solo. but had it not been THIS awful, then Luke’s self imposed exile, shame and guilt wouldn’t have made any fucking sense. so, TLJ haters, think again WHO was the person who wrote Luke running away for 10 years and allowing all that shit to happen?? it wasn’t Rian Johnson, that’s for sure. he merely justified the absence in a way that made sense plot-wise and actually character-wise too.

on repeated viewing, TFA isn’t that good, it’s a rehash of ANH and the stakes are never as good as the original movies. we all kinda know the heroes will save the day

TLJ, i liked, but the canto bight plot really falls flat. this is where RJ did some char assassinations: Poe. Poe is the cocky pilot who singlehandedly destroys the Resistance’s arsenal LMAO. and next scene he turns into sexist macho asshole trope itself, with his immediate and unfounded disdain of Holdo and her plans to keep our heroes safe. so he concocts a harebrained plan that doesn’t work. maybe it was intended as a refreshing look over this trope of barely a plan of the heroes always coming to fruition at the very last second, but the way it’s presented, it somehow really undermines all the characters involved, including newcomer Rose. at the start a breath of fresh air in the age of mindless heroics, the voice of reason,  soon enough she too is pulled apart and becomes a sudden love interest...?? she is then reduced to a side’s side char in TROS, but she has space buns, so that’s cool right? that’s what SW is all about, women in space buns. fuck!

and yet, TLJ handled Luke, Leia, KR and Rey wonderfully and laid down some great ideas, Rey having no lineage, the Force Bond between her and KR, the catalyst for KR’s fall to the dark side, the little good in him, as sensed by both Leia and Rey...and set up a finale where, i believed and hoped, KR would be the main villain.

with the trailer spelling the probable return of palpatine, i kinda lost faith in TROS before it even hit the theaters. in fact, my faith in the movie was shot the moment JJ was brought on board.

we had a new villain, another race against time to save the day, and our heroes tell us again and again that it’s fine to share the burden, that they are not alone, that there are more good guys than bad - and when the ARMY OF PEOPLE came to exogol, it’s a wonderful scene. it works for me and it did both times. i know it’s awful that no-one came to leia’s call on crait, but here lando picks up (when lando says hello there, it’s not only panties that drop) half the galaxy, but somehow it still made me well up.

but, despite this very explicit message, our heroine fights alone. she faces palps alone and almost makes a bad decision, is alone in her final battle, is alone at the end. how truly horrible. instead of having ben and rey defeat palps together, rey has to do it alone, out of faux-feminism. it’s sickening. it’s stupid. and that’s not star wars and the star wars message. luke was not alone at the end, he was with friends, with family.

but she’s from a bad bloodline and she should die childless. ughhh. totally not hopeful, totally not satisfying message to have for the finale of the skywalker saga.

[marthfador]

Stole this from Twitter lol. Lost the og post but here’s the blank!

I tried to go for some bands that aren’t as completely well-known as well as some popular ones. I even tried to add some albums I’m fond of for those that I can tell the difference with! Breakdown and song recs under the cut! 

(U don’t gotta for the meme, I just like talkin abt music lol)

Going by rows, we’ll start with Gorillaz. They’re usually the band I mention if someone asks my favs because I’ve been with em since their first album. All of their albums are really good, but I think I’ve had the most fun with Plastic Beach! Humanz is probably my next choice followed by Demon Days. An underrated song from Humanz is Out of Body!

Daft Punk is another group I’ve been with since Discovery, which is quite frankly still one of the best albums out there. Everyone loves One More Time and Harder Better Faster Stronger but one of their overlooked songs that I’m fond of is Face To Face!

Nine Inch Nails.... SIGH. Gotta be that edge, right? But let’s be fair, I’ve gone to the past like 5-6 concerts they’ve put on, I can’t say I’m NOT a fan lmfao. No fav albums since again... 5-6 concerts. That’s 5-6 album drops. They’re all so good. Not to mention I love Trent Reznor... One song I’d say doesn’t get as much attention as the rest is God Given. (But again... Ow the Edge)

Studio Killers! Hello! The band Tumblr has babied up since they first started... I even cosplayed as Cherry for the one con I went to haha. Everyone knows the Ode to the Bouncer, Jenny.... But the most absolute BOP that I’ve fallen in love with the instant I bought their album was Friday Night Gurus. Just WAIT til the chorus, okay!!!

Scissor Sisters start the next row and like... What can you even say about them. I’m surprised they aren’t more of a thing here on Tumblr, their music is so catchy and bouncy and they sing about the wildest things, not to mention I’m pretty sure most of the band is LGBT in some way! While I try to aim for the more vague songs, Don’t Feel Like Dancing is my jam morning noon and night. (Also just LOOK at that video!)

In This Moment was actually a surprise get for me. I first got to see them opening up for another couple of bands and they absolutely stole the show. If you can ever get the chance, see them in concert!! I describe her as the Lady Gaga of metal- her outfits are fantastic and she’s got some hella backup dancers! As for songs, the list goes on... Whore, Blood, Black Widow... But here, have her singing with Judas Priest in Black Wedding. Yes, another edgy band but it’s metal, what do you expect.

Janelle Monae’s entire Dirty Computer album is fantastic and if you haven’t watched the little movie she’s shot to go with it, go do it now! It’s on youtube, what are you even waiting for!! We all love Pynk, The Way You Feel, Crazy Classic Life... But not gonna lie, Americans still gives me chills when I hear it. Not only is it a bop but Janelle def doesn’t shy away from Shooting Shots.

Beck lmfao. I honestly wouldn’t have thought to add him if it wasn’t for the concert I managed to get tickets to not long ago. His concert was PHENOMENAL, not to mention this new album of his was so fun and catchy... I just can’t help now but to say I love him. Not to mention his older hits like Where It’s At and Loser... Colors and Up All Night are so good but the song that blew my mind in concert and I had to get the instant I got home was Saw Lightening.

Des Rocs actually popped up on my Pandora and I had to look him up! Not only do I dig the whole look and aesthetic (black leather jacket wearing greaser guys? Hell yea) but I absolutely do love the sound. It’s got this retro rock feel and like... If you could Bang a Voice, I’d def choose this one lmao. Let Me Live/Let Me Die was the one that started it for me... But don’t miss out on Used To the Darkness either!

Mitski... It actually took me a few times to get onto this Tumblr train but once I got there I wallowed in it. Most of her songs are on my Sad Bitch Hours playlist but you know what? I’d describe listening to her music as sort of cathartic, I can lay down and stare at the ceiling listening to Mitski for an hour and somehow feel rejuvenated. I think Geyser was actually the one that got me into liking her, but Pink In the Night and Strawberry Blonde of course are good.

Florence and the Machine is kinda in the same playlist as Mitski, but I do absolutely love a lot of her songs. Many of them make me rather emotional (My work started playing Hunger and I nearly teared up at the register? Wtf?) but I think that’s kinda why I dig it. Dog Days Are Over is gonna always be my most favorite of them, but if you want one I don’t see many others chatting about, go for Cosmic Love. Big God is also a wonderful video if you haven’t seen it yet.

I’ve already talked and mentioned the Dead South in a previous post, but man do I love these boys! People talk about Gothic Cowboys and boy do these guys deliver. Their songs can be about death, adultery, literally losing your mind, so many other sort of dark topics but with such a catchy tune! Long Gone is a song that I get stuck in my head quite often!

Gogol Bordello... Wow, there’s so much I can say about this band. I believe the lead singer is from the Ukraine, his pal on the fiddle is from a country I cannot pronounce, he has twin backup dancers that are Swedish-Chinese, he has a guitar player from Honduras- this really is just a rag-tag group of people from all over the place making some fantastic music! I was lucky enough to see them in concert and their energy is off the fucking charts, I absolutely adore this group! Most people learn of them from Start Wearing Purple, one of my faves tho has to be When the Trickster Starts A-Pokin’... Also they performed with Madonna once? Hello? (Also I’m in love with Sergio’s fiddlin tbh)

Sofi Tukker is another artist I stumbled upon while listening to Pandora. It seems like many of her songs have a different style than the others, but they’re all so very catchy and have a wonderful energy to them. Speaking of... The song that got me into her best was Energia. I literally cannot listen to this song without moving a little to it, it’s such a poppy and fun song! For an English song though, try Best Friend. (Batshit Crazy is one I find funny too!)

Gold Fish was one I actually had to dig for at the time- one of their songs was playing in the background of one of those shitty Kia Hamster commercials lmfao. It was SUCH a bop even in the commercial that I had to find it! (It was Fort Knox btw) Again, as a lot of my poppy choices here, there’s such a good energy and upbeat sound to everything they do, it’s wonderful listening to. I actually love putting these guys on when doing chores around the house, it’s fun and gets the energy flowing and makes things a little more enjoyable! One that I also love to turn people towards is Get Busy Living. If you can’t tell between these two songs, they’re actually a sort of DJ-ish band- different vocalists and different sounds mixed in, but it’s all very well done!

Jain, another found treasure from a commercial... (Makeba was in a Levi’s commercial lol) I was reading that she was born in France, went to live in India for schooling, and wound up in South Africa to learn different musical stylings there- and it all very well feels like her music flows with all these different influences! I hate when stores use the generic word “ethnic” but I think her music and voice can very well fit in that sort of category. She’s got a lot of bouncy, poppy songs, but also a few more mellow songs as well... But of course I really love the bouncy stuff haha. If you need a song to get your heart pumping in the morning, I’d def recommend Star! A stranger sort of song that still has a great feel is Hope! 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 199: One Whole Bird

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa’s winning class A team reflected on what they could have done better. Tsuyu and Kirishima were unexpected bummers due to their recent internships still weighing heavily on their minds. Shinsou was also frustrated with his performance, despite everyone telling him how good he did. Aizawa and Vlad told All Might and Midnight that today’s exercise is also a test for Shinsou to see if he should be admitted into the hero course. It’s not clear whether or not Shinsou is aware of this, but we’re all rooting for him! The second round of battles got underway, with Team KendouKuroMangaToadette facing off against MomoYamaTokoKure. Class B’s Kuroiro was revealed to have a quirk that allows him to move freely within anything black. This applies even to quirks like Dark Shadow, and once the match began, he basically dove into DS and rode him back to Team A’s location. Now he’s getting ready to throw down with Tokoyami, who has dramatically thrown his cape aside and is preparing to unleash the new technique he developed during his internship with Hawks.

Today on BnHA: Hawks is back! In flashback form. But he’s back, you guys! So apparently Tokoyami first interned with him after the sports festival, only to learn that Hawks mainly selected him to get the good gossip on the whole USJ attack. This frustrated Toko enough that he redoubled his training efforts, and when he went back to intern at Hawks’s agency for real after getting his provisional license, he impressed the #2 hero by being able to keep up with him. So Hawks took him on a cute lil nighttime flight above the city while A Whole New World from Aladdin played, and then they landed on a tower somewhere and Hawks was all, “hey dude you should learn to fly for reals,” and then the flashback ended. Back in the present, Kuroiro sneaks up behind Aoyama and grabs him and hauls ass. Tokoyami then reveals his new technique: Flying For Reals. He retrieves Aoyama, who fires his laser to break up the shadows around them, making it impossible for Kuro to hide. Things are looking good for Team A, but then a mushroom suddenly sprouts from Momo’s nose, reminding everyone that there are still three other Team B members to take care of, and things are only just getting started.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 222, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

ooh, and we’re opening with what I assume is an internship flashback!

well yeah, Mighty Wings is the type of quirk that allows you to do that. when you can individually control hundreds of little godmode wings that are strong enough to even carry people to safety, you don’t really need much in the way of backup

ah, so it’s confirmed this is Tokoyami’s narration

apparently the U.A. sports festival earlier in the year was the first time Hawks had ever taken place in the whole drafting process

hold up, so did Toko intern with him for both the jr. internship and the real internship? like, he did the weeklong thing following the sports festival, and then went back and interned there for real later? or was it only the first and not the latter?

lol Hawks is flying off to go save some other hapless soul. some out of control drunk dude at a bar in Cantina

I assume Cantina is a specifically a reference to the very famous Mos Eisley Cantina in Star Wars, even though it’s also a common enough word in its own right

lmao his sidekicks are all “yeah so Hawks is just generally better than us in every conceivable way and we just have to live with it”

these guys crack me up

so during his workplace experience Tokoyami just spent the whole time chasing after Hawks with these guys and handling the cleanup with them. so naturally it wasn’t long before he started having doubts about the whole thing

I was literally just about to say “because you’re both birds” and then Hawks was like “yeah, duh”

Tokoyami is asking if he’s joking, because Tokoyami doesn’t have a sense of humor so he probably genuinely needs to know

Hawks says he’s 20% serious. holy shit. that honest to god is what he said lmao

he says he wanted to talk to someone from class 1-A about the League of Villains, and he figured if he had to do so then he should pick someone he thought could keep up with him and who showed promise. and since Tokoyami finished in the top three he went with him

and of course we know from chapter 186 that he had selected Todoroki as well, but Endeavor got him instead

interesting that both he and Bakugou picked the highest ranking agencies on their list and ended up being disappointed. it seems like the people who had the most fulfilling internships were the ones who went with agencies that hadn’t necessarily made huge names for themselves, but were perhaps a little better at this whole teaching thing than some of the big shots

ah, and then Hawks did agree to take him on for a For Reals Internship later on, though

that means Tokoyami actually reached out to him despite his lackluster previous experience. makes me wonder if Bakugou would actually decide to go back to Jeanist’s agency once he gets his provisional and once the kids are allowed to do internships again

(ETA: so I’m honestly not sure if we’re even going to get back to internships again, at least not for a while, but one theory I’ve seen floating around is that Bakugou will intern with Miruko instead of Jeanist, and I gotta say, I really like the idea of that. for so many reasons. but basically it makes a lot of sense; Jeanist is still laid up, Miruko is a top 5 hero, and her personality aligns with Bakugou’s a whole lot more than Jeanist’s did. all this plus Fuck Yeah Girl Power, so hell yeah I’m all for it.)

-- YOOOOOOOOOOO

he can -- you can fly, dude? since when lmao what the fuck

(ETA: what is he doing here, though?? I thought he was flying but then a couple pages later Hawks is like “you should learn how to fly” and then a few pages after that everyone is shocked by his new “bitch I can fly now” special move. so it seems like that’s something he came up with after this scene. is he just jumping with style here or what)

Hawks likey! kid’s got some potential

now it’s later that night and Hawks is telling Tokoyami he did good

OH MY GOD

THIS IS THE CUTEST AND BEST THING THAT’S EVER HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS. I CAN’T IT’S TOO FUCKING PRECIOUS OH SWEET JESUS

(ETA: so as you can see I was enchanted by this scene even before I learned about its significance as a beloved fandom meme. anyways so we all agree that this internship was destiny.)

TOKOYAMI IS SO OVERWHELMED. HIS POETIC SOUL IS SOARING LIKE AN EAGLE

OH MY GOD!!

HOW DOES HE REMEMBER THE CORRECT PERCENTAGE BREAKDOWN FROM A JOKE CONVERSATION THEY HAD LIKE SIX MONTHS AGO

SERIOUS QUESTION WHY IS HAWKS THE BEST CHARACTER IN BNHA. ANSWER ME. SOMEONE

AND LOOK AT TOKO’S FACE OMG

AHHHH

it’s so personal, though. like I honestly feel like he’s baring a bit of his soul to this kid, and for someone with a personality like Hawks’s that is huge

he says he’s not especially interested in nurturing the next generation, “but...”

well that’s fine dude. you’re practically still a kid yourself and you’ve got more than enough on your plate

but the fact that he does have so much on his plate makes me wonder what’s going through his head right now. because the whole workplace experience was before he started his undercover mission, but this scene is taking place afterward. and he always plays it cool, but that shit is dangerous, like one-wrong-move-and-you’re-dead-or-worse types of danger. and that’s not even taking into account the bad-for-your-soul parts that come with having to turn a blind eye to certain things for the sake of maintaining your cover for the greater good

so basically, despite what he says, he may just be feeling a bit more sentimental or brooding or whatever than usual, and maybe that’s what brought this on. he never particularly wanted to be a mentor, but hey, might as well give it a shot. life is short

so Toko’s asking what he meant when he said Tokoyami was wasting his potential

and Hawks says that while Tokoyami is doing a lot to cover his weak points, he shouldn’t neglect improving his strong points

one moment please while we process these Hawks feels ladies and gents

aaaaaaand done

my boy just wants to be free. okay. that’s fine. I’m fine it’s all good

nothing to see here, just some solid mentor advice pulling some double duty as a deeper look into Hawks’s psyche at the same time. just Horikoshi things

and we’re back in the present!

that was a much lengthier flashback than I anticipated, and thoroughly enjoyable! very nice!

so Kuro is blending back into the shadows and for some reason everyone is surprised

what else would he do. I mean. if it ain’t broke

so now he’s mocking them from somewhere in the piping, bragging about how they can’t tell where he is

oh shit!

so he’s planning on targeting one of the others? tbh that probably would have worked just as well even without the red herring, since they can’t see him coming

like, this would have worked no matter what though. but I guess it did get Aoyama to lower his guard

LOL MY POOR GLITTER BOY

FIRE YOUR DAMN LASER KID

ooooh

it’s so gross that he refers to it as an umbilical cord and now I’m never not gonna be able to think of it as that

so anyway, I’m guessing that this special move works by having Dark Shadow fly somewhere and then instead of retracting the shadow back to him, he pulls himself toward Dark Shadow

LOL

what, y’all didn’t see those flashbacks with Hawks just a few pages ago. pay attention to other characters’ life stories

ah, here are the mechanics explained to us in a cute little comic

“Dark Shadow can fly so one day I was like, ‘ohh... pick me up so I can fly too. fucking duh’”

also has the bonus advantage of distracting opponents with how shockingly adorable it is

so now he’s plucking Aoyama out of Kuro’s clutches

I bet Aoyama’s pissed that his cape broke in the process though

LISTEN HERE BITCHES, Y’ALL ARE GONNA NEED PLAN B, C, D, ETC. BEFORE YOU CAN EVEN COME CLOSE TO TAKING OUT MY GIRL MOMO HERE. YOU’RE GONNA RUN OUT OF LETTERS OF THE FUCKING ALPHABET YOU AMATEURS

she said, but also I’m still pretty sure they’re gonna lose fffff

since Aoyama and Tokoyami are now perfectly positioned, Momo’s telling Aoyama to use his navel buffet

ah I see, eliminate Kuro’s potential hiding places by blinding him with Aoyama’s splendor

so Dark Shadow is covering himself in Kuro’s cape and Aoyama is letting ‘er rip

this is such an odd and perfect sound effect and I’m really impressed with Horikoshi for coming up with it in English

aha!

GOTCHA MOTHERFUCKER

now Momo’s calling Hagakure to action, and for a moment I was like ‘why’ but then I remembered her special move

but before we get to that, please enjoy this Yaoyorozu Momo “just as planned” panel

yessssss now get ready for --

...

okay what is plan B

...

and the chapter ends. of course

chapter 200 is gonna be some wild times isn’t it. lol

[beedalee]

SO i decided to do a smaaalll cheat and add 230k to my game EXPLICITLY so i could buy these goddamn indulgent catalogues for my house, which i had been neglecting so bad.I just felt so wrong marrying someone with it in such a state, yknow??? (i still gotta check if my shit is in the way of a spouse’s walking path but you get the idea)

i could see some people finding a huge sense of accomplishment to toil and collect items for their house slowly.... but i am not that person. lmao!!! i tweaked, rearranged, and deleted stuff so many times during this. i’m so glad i did it, i wanted to be able to make mistakes. even then it took me like 4 in-game days sdfsgsfsdf. i’ve already tweaked a few more things since this one (mostly lighting, table toppers and wall art)

anyway i just wanted to share it~ if anyone wants to share their houses with me i’d love to see em!!

honestly in general i looooove how customizable this game is in terms of mods, to make it fun tailored to people’s tastes!  if anyone wants to know the mods i’m using, there’s a pic under the cut. 

they’re really easy to find by these names on nexus mods, the stardew wiki’s smapi compatibility list, or just a google search! (stardew’s wiki has a whole guide for mods if you’re curious!) 

cp pig mod is because the original pig srites are.... well.... -sweats nervously- they could be cuter

billboard anywhere is a must bc i’d forget literally everything otherwise

show sell price is also a must imho, it’s just... so nice to know. it accounts for your skills too.

experience bars are really handy, though i’m almost maxed yay /o/

fishing mod because FISHING IS ENJOYABLE NOW... and i’m also that ho that insta-catches treasure because fuck that treasure box wrangling

friends forever because i said so

gift taste helper is new and extremely appreciated

health bars are for monsters!

movement mod, just slightly, so i don’t break my WASD keys willing myself to go faster. i don’t really sprint though. it’s only set to like, 7. (you CAN actually go too fast with this mod. we couldn’t even see ourselves moving we’d just teleport in multiplayer HAHAHA)

no fence decay BECAUSE I SAID SO

regen mod is for regenerating stamina when idle! kinda extra, but i like it

timespeed is sliiightly slower. just a tiny bit. i forget what i set it to.

wallpaper RECYCLERRRRR GIVE ME BACK ME PAPERS

console commands and content patcher are nessacary for smapi and visual mods... and save backup i’m sure  

i used to have more (and more visual mods) but beta’s always breakin stuff so i try to keep it simple and go for popular (cherished) mods that are frequently and regularly updated.

[maiji]

“If you could pick 5 members to be on your team in the dark tournament, who would it be?”

So while I was going back through my archives trying to see if I had any incorrectly flagged content (I scrolled all the way to 2015, found three, and gave up/went to bed lol), I kept getting distracted and rereading old posts out of amusement. One of them was this 21 Questions Yu Yu Hakusho meme - and one question in particular made the gears of my brain clank so I thought hey, why not? Let’s answer it.

I'm going to tackle this question from two angles.

A) If I could pick ANY characters in Yu Yu Hakusho to form a team.

B) If I could only pick characters who appear during the actual Dark Tournament.

As soon as you see my first list, you'll understand why I was like, “oh.” and opted to do it again from B lmao.

(Oh yeah my tags spoil everything but oh well. Hope the rationale makes up for it hahaha)

VERSION A: Fun times

Raizen.

I'm sorry, the tournament is over now, thank you for coming. Seriously though, he's Yusuke with a million times more firepower and brains/experience. Also, one of the appeals of Yusuke is that he makes fighting fun, which is why everyone wants to go up against him. Raizen's friends express the exact same sentiment repeatedly. Raizen in his prime in battle would be a sight to see. He'd be all DID SOMEBODY SAY FIGHTING?? YEAH I'LL FIGHT ALL THE FIGHTS WAHOO and nobody would be able to get him off the arena platform. If there is an arena platform left. Or an arena. Or anything.

Enki.

Jolly uncle/all-round good dude, I love him. He also loves fighting, so he is also lots of fun. He seems much more cool-headed and practical than Raizen, and definitely takes the lead in coordinating the rest of Raizen's pals. Thus, he's a great wingman for Raizen. If you somehow actually manage to defeat Raizen- haha, what am I talking about? OK, if Raizen slept in or something, then you can fight Enki. And in that case the tournament is still over.

Kokou.

LOVES FIGHTING AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS. Even Enki was relieved he didn't have to face her. I firmly believe after Raizen she's the strongest - or at least one of the strongest - out of all of Raizen's already insanely powerful friends. Honestly, between Raizen and Kokou they'd probably just take everybody down, including each other, and have a blast. 

My perfect noodle husband Hokushin.

Obviously no one is surprised at this pick on my blog. Also loves fighting, plus super duper reliable, he's perfect support for anything. Along with Enki, he'd help temper Raizen and Kokou's wild party. And somebody needs to clean up after all the mess and make sure everybody gets first aid and whatever. Well, first aid for the other team they just massacred, I guess.

One more Raizen friend: Natsume.

We could put another one of Raizen's friends here, but I pick Natsume because we know a lot more about her and she's so badass and we should have more women. Also, because she's very clearly another great mashup of LOVES FIGHTING and NOT STUPID, as a fifth member, she can easily step in to fill any of the others' shoes, whether it's happily beat the crap out of everything in sight or be calm and strategize. If anybody ever actually needed to be filled in for some reason.

I call this amazingness Team Old People. IMO this team is flawless because they would just be so damn entertaining on so many levels. You have five extremely powerful and smart warriors with centuries of experience who have nothing to prove aside from sheer enjoyment of battle. Every one of them has expressed a passion for fighting because it's simply a joy for them, which means they wouldn't be playing it safe/boring. Seeing a master in action at practically anything is awesome, and not only that but they’d be willing to experiment and take risks and do things that are out there. A tournament is also a form of entertainment for the audience (both the real life audience and the one in the show), and that combined with their expert level combat skills means that I think they'd be so fantastic to watch. And all of them have distinct personalities that balance "I am an ancient demon with wisdom and stuff" VS "I love punching people (or getting punched) in the face!!" in different enough ways that they still offer really interesting character dynamics and interaction opportunities. And they would also be incredibly supportive of each other while still allowing for plenty of snark.

That said, FUN FUN FUN aside, the very obvious problem with this team is that they seriously break the question. And everything else. Even if they don’t intend to flat out obliterate everything, that’s what would probably happen, and that unfortunately can easily head towards its own kind of boring. Everyone would be like "why are we having a tournament, we're going home". So, we must leave Team Old People behind and move on to version B.

VERSION B: Serious business

Dark Tournament characters only. I will exclude members of the Toguro Team from my selection for obvious reasons. NO MORE FUN TIME. This is me pretending that I'm some rich underworld dude or whatever putting together a team I'm betting on to get through the tournament. You're going to see a clear pattern emerging from my picks.

Genkai.

The veteran. Intelligent, experienced, very powerful and pragmatic. I'd shell out big bucks to get her to come back to be my team's captain. No question for me, she's a must, even if all she does is sit on the sidelines and coach the rest of the team. With a group of serious, motivated and talented fighters, she'd be the best mentor and my team would be well-positioned to MAKE ME LOTS OF MONEY SO IN YOUR SMOKY SCARRED FACE SAKYO

Hiei.

Those who know me may find it shocking that I'm including Hiei but not Yusuke, Kuwabara, or Kurama. Hiei doesn't appear on my tumblr very often, and of the four main characters he's probably the one I'm least emotionally invested in. But if you're assembling a team for the Dark Tournament, you're IN IT TO WIN IT!! And Hiei is the best bet. I shall explain.

Hiei is efficient and effective, and his success ratio is the highest out of all Urameshi Team members - the most number of individual fights without a single loss or draw. Granted, he sits out for a chunk of the tournament, but he rarely appears worn out at the end of a fight. The only time he overexerts himself is against Zeru; after his recovery, he never seems to break a sweat. Even against Bui, he had no real issues. From a betting perspective, his odds are very, very good. Kuwabara and Kurama both experience multiple losses - Kuwabara often because he's young and overconfident or becomes so personally involved that he cares more for a positive outcome for other people than for winning; Kurama often because (as Hiei notes) he tends to overcalculate the situation and draw things out so long figuring everything out that it turns into a disadvantage. Yusuke's very strong and has huge potential, but he's also focused far too much on the experience. This makes his battles fun to watch but would give a strategist heart attacks. Many of his fights involve near-misses or less-than-ideal situations stemming from amateur errors. And finally, he gets dinged with a draw in his match with Jin, in part because his dawdling on the field made the deception feasible. Yusuke's great for drama and storytelling, not great for the comfort of my pocketbook. Having him on a team is risky when I know the other underworld bosses I'm competing against are not above using underhanded tactics.

As a result, based on a purely practical evaluation, Hiei is the most reliable choice. He's very focused on, and very good at, the one thing I want - DEFEAT THE OPPONENT UNEQUIVOCALLY. He comes in and tears people apart and there's no chance of an ambiguous referee call. He just needs his team members to be people he can respect to keep him in line. With Genkai as captain, that shouldn't be an issue. Nor with the rest of my picks.

Ryo (Kai in the anime) / M-3.

This is the Dr. Ichigaki member with the invisible claw powers. After their fight, he offers to be a replacement for the seriously injured Kuwabara (Yusuke appreciates it but has to turn him down because it's against the rules unless Kuwabara actually dies). He seems to be the strongest of the three students who were brainwashed by Ichigaki, and without Genkai's intervention and his own struggling against Ichigaki's mechanism, he would very likely have wiped out Kuwabara and Yusuke. He's extremely serious and dedicated, and with someone like Genkai steering the helm I think he'd go far. I'd be comfortable putting money on him. I also like him a lot and wish he had more involvement in the story - I've always felt that if Togashi didn’t need to get Koenma in for story purposes Yusuke hadn't been so freaked out and completely lost mentally when Genkai died, he probably would've asked Ryo to be the replacement fifth member. SOMEONE WRITE THIS

Touya.

Stronger than Gama, less arrogant than Risho, more reliable than Jin (who has many of the same problems as Yusuke), and Bakken sucks and will never be considered by anybody. Touya's powers are also very flexible. Somebody just needs to tell him to NOT TALK TO HIS OPPONENT. Don't talk to them, don't listen to them, don't let them distract you, don't let them get into your head, JUST GET IN THERE AND EYE ON THE PRIZE AND BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM OKAY lol. I also think when Genkai was training everyone for Kurama, Touya was probably the one who gave her the least hard time. I mean, out of Touya, Jin, Chuu, Rinku, Suzuki and Shishiwakamaru who do YOU think would bellyache the least? I thought so.

The fifth member is actually a backup/alternate who doesn't necessarily see action (if you recall, this is why Chuu was mad). For my final pick, I took a while to decide, so I'll tell you about both of the last two people I was considering since I enjoy any excuse to talk about characters I don’t usually see mentioned.

5a is Zeru. 

OK, partly I considered him because nobody remembers him lmao - he was Hiei's first victory, obliterated into a shadow by Hiei's training-wheels Kokuryuuha. But if you look at my other picks, I think you'll appreciate why he's on my radar - he fits the profile of what I'm looking for very nicely. I want someone in control of themselves; who is a reliable, consistent, focused fighter unlikely to get distracted by other things; who clearly demonstrates power and is committed and has potential to grow really fast with the right direction/team captain. The only thing is that with Hiei already on the team, this may be duplicating the skillset and the mental profile a bit too much. And I think it's clear Hiei already has the upperhand in baseline power. So,

5b is Suzuki. 

His strength isn't fighting. It's his ingenuity in adapting, augmenting, and outfitting his team members with really good, really creative tools. He's honestly more a tinkerer and an inventor, imaginatively tweaking things to be even more useful, and whenever he realizes and accepts this about himself instead of trying to be just another fighter in the limelight, he'll be rich lmao. Anyways, this skill makes him a hugely valuable asset. I don't need him to be in the ring, I'm fine having him support with cool gadgets to amplify the rest of the team.

I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICKS lol

[ofstaffs]

steve steve was absolutely walking on air. the weather was amazing and he was enjoying it with the woman he loved. of course, it wasn't a totally perfect afternoon due to his endearing clumsiness. after his second time dropping the venue folder, they decided it was better if peggy carried it instead. other than that, it couldn't have been better. "i really like the meadow, if i'm being totally honest," he glanced at peggy as they walked under a cluster of trees in magnolia park. "but the park is fine too, of course."

steve: im screAMING

peggy: OM G CUITE

peggy: CUTIE

steve: the ghostbusters theme song came on while i was writing thiS

peggy: HAHAHAAHHA

peggy she didn't think it was possible for her to love him anymore. the bold and the brave captain america was stumbling over his own feet and dropping the folder each time he held onto it, papers flying everywhere, which required a ton of chasing. she hadn't laughed more in her whole life, and she was sure she had never been more infatuated with someone in her life. "i know, i do too. i just wanted to look around here to see if it was a backup choice," she explained, craning her neck to glance around.

peggy: lets just do them for a bit then ill bring rey in

steve: okie dokie

steve "you know, the first wedding i went to was out here." steve spoke, pointing at the patch of grass by the fountain. it wasn't exactly an enjoyable experience; they hardly knew the grooms and there was quite a bit of drama at the end of the night. he decided to leave out the fact that he brought a date to it. "you would have hated it. it ended in absolute chaos." he laughed quietly, knowing his future bride wasn't one to put up with people's shit.

peggy "oh, dear. maybe we shouldn't have it here, then. i don't want people to be reminded of bad memories when they come here," she said, biting her lip in concern. then she glanced up at him with a teasing smirk. "you know that if anyone tries to start /anything/ at our wedding that i'll deal with them myself." they couldn't exactly hire security; plus, they didn't need any. the groom was captain america, after all. "i don't think you'll let that happen, though," she winked.

peggy: omfg deans rper will not stop chatting me

peggy: like

steve: my ot4 tbh :,)))

peggy: actually

steve: im confused on how it all happened so fast

peggy: they kind of pushed it on kathryn and i

peggy: im convinced the mun is the same person

peggy: they're literally the SAME

steve: nO WAY

steve: mia's rper chats me a lot too so

peggy: yep

steve "i can only think of one person who'd be bothered." steve shrugged. that person was rey. she left early on in the ceremony and sprayed someone with beer when she returned. but at that point, he wasn't even sure if she'd show to his wedding. "i know you will." he grinned with a raised brow, tightening his grip on her hand lightly. him and peggy had already waited way too long for someone to ruin it. "hopefully everyone just keeps their issues to themselves."

steve: if somebody hijacks the steggy wedding i will take it ooc

steve: no shame

peggy: ya tru

steve: i feel like dia would tbh not trying to be rude

peggy "they better," peggy agreed with a firm nod, placing a hand on his cheek then slowly smiling again. "but i don't care if /everything/ goes wrong. as long as i get to be your wife at the end of the day. that's all i want. that's all i've ever wanted." she leaned up to kiss him softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

peggy: BLESS

peggy: ok im gonna bring rey in]

rey joined the chat 2 hours ago

steve: yaaaasssssssss

rey getting some fresh air was nice, as her dispute with derek was still ongoing, and she felt like she had the opportunity to really clear her mind of everything. until she stumbled across a couple. as soon as she saw the red and blue clothes (did they plan that or did they always just coincidentally dress that way?), she knew exactly who it was. she clenched her jaw but let out a sigh and tried to walk past without her face being seen, tilting it away as much as possible.

steve: does steve stop her orrrrrrrrrrrrr

peggy: probs

peggy: i didnt know how else to bring her in lmao

steve "trust me, you'll be my wife no matter what. even if it means i have to become a minister and do it myself." he chuckled against her lips, gladly welcoming the kiss. naturally, he got too carried away, wrapping his arms around her waist and stumbling back slightly. he didn't even think about anyone else in the park until he felt his back brush against another person. "oh, geez. i'm sorry about that," the avenger apologized to this person behind him, before he quickly realized who it was. "rey?"

steve: i just did that instead whooops

peggy: nice

peggy peggy pulled away as soon as steve did, glancing at the person he had, literally, bumped into. uh oh. hopefully he wouldn't be recognized. she smiled apologetically and began to say sorry when steve said the girl's name. peggy's smile faded as she stared up at him, then chuckled softly. "is-is this a friend of yours?" she asked quietly, nervous about the expression on his face.

rey oh, great. clumsy steve, back at it again. she rolled her eyes and turned to him, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. she was sure she looked horrific, given she'd been bedridden for five days, but finally seeing peggy in person for the first time shocked her most of all. she really did look like her. at peggy's question, she just glared up at steve again before firmly replying, "nope."

rey: ouch

steve: damn steve, back at it again

peggy: i kept saying that in my head while writing jrc

peggy: jfc

steve "uh..." he stammered, glancing between rey and peggy. oh god, they looked so much alike he was getting confused. he genuinely did not know what to say. rey and him had a large falling out, sure, but they were so close. they were still friends in his eyes, best friends even. his eyes narrowed at her once she spoke. "no. she's tony's friend."

steve: yiggity yikes

peggy peggy's shoulders straightened at steve's words, and she stood protectively at his side, hand on his arm. "tony stark is no friend to us. it is obvious that steve doesn't want you around, so i recommend that you keep walking before i have to take action."

steve: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

rey rey couldn't tear her eyes away from steve. her expression was a mixture of heartbreak, anger, jealousy, and distress. she missed him, but seeing him with peggy angered her beyond belief. she clenched her fists at her sides as peggy spoke to her, then raised her eyebrows. "believe me, i think that's the best idea, seeing the last time i spoke to your fiancé, he threw a coffee table across the room."

rey: riP

rey: sry im replying so fast im like trying to do this fuc kn g study guide

rey: WHY DID I PORCRASITINA

rey: ETE

steve: UR DUMB

steve: WHAT CLASS IS IT FOR

peggy: US HISTORY

peggy: FML

steve: WRITE STEVE ROGERS FOR EVERY ANSWER

peggy: O K

peggy: ITS OPTIONAL TOO

peggy: BUT ITS 20 PTS EXTRA CREDIT

peggy: KMS

steve steve was stupid to think this day wasn't going to get ruined. he expected the cops would have something to do with it, not rey. not his /best friend/. he glanced at peggy once she spoke, but rey was already retorting before he could catch up. "that's enough." the expression on his face was enough to kill. no more clumsy, adorable steve. rey awakened the beast that was captain america. "so where's derek this lovely afternoon?"

peggy peggy's head snapped up to glare at steve slightly. "so /that's/ what happened? you threw a coffee table because you were angry?" she asked in disbelief. but the expression on his face was not allowing for any chastisement at that moment, so she turned back to rey, watching her carefully. obviously she had done something to make steve, sweet, kind-hearted steve, angry and she didn't like it one bit.

steve: http://66.media.tumblr.com/902d809ec25de... LOOK AT THIS

rey "he's at home. i wanted to go on a walk, so here i am." she'd only mumbled a few words to derek before leaving, but she didn't tell him that. she was too afraid he'd poke fun at her for having a failing relationship. two at the same time. just in very different ways. "oh, but i see you two are planning your wedding. you know, that's funny. the last time steve was at a wedding, he brought along a date. but i'm sure he's told you that."

peggy: DED

peggy: REY ST OP

steve "yes. but you should let rey tell you what she said to make me so angry." he spoke through gritted teeth. he could almost hear rey's angry outburst about peggy and bucky leaving him. his hand flew up to his nose, pinching the bridge of it as she continued to spill like an immature child. "i brought natasha romanoff, my colleague. interesting that you bring up the wedding, rey. recall your little beer incident?" two could play that game.

steve: steve rn: (ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'​́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'̀-'́)ง(ง'​̀-'́)ง

peggy "yes, i /would/ like to know that," peggy snapped to rey, crossing her arms firmly across her chest. anyone who upset steve had to deal with her. "i understand. you didn't want to be alone at the wedding. i get it," she assured him then turned back to rey, furrowing her eyebrows as steve brought up one of /her/ issues.

peggy: omg steve should do like a rly low blow

peggy: and then rey will just strt cr ying

peggy: bc i need them to make up

steve: how low u talkin

peggy: as low as u want

steve: idk how low i can go

steve: damn is this limbo

peggy: truth

peggy: idk like her being abandoned by her family or smth

peggy: or her problems with derek

peggy: or her family issues

peggy: rey has a lot of things to use against her ok

steve: i'll talk about her trying to get derek to propose cause i got an anon bout it

peggy: make it bad tho

peggy: or else rey will just be angrier

rey rey's eyes widened slightly as her expression darkened. now /he/ was digging. this was bad, and was surely not going to end well. she wished she had derek here to back her up. if he even would at this point. "well YOU'RE the one who had feelings for me while you said you were in love with /her/!" she exclaimed, motioning carelessly to peggy.

steve "why don't you tell her." steve looked down at his friend demeaningly, unable to bring himself to repeat her words. "at least i don't have to beg the love of my life to get marry me. i know who i love, rey, and you're sure as hell not one of those people when you act like this." the captain spat, grabbing his fiance's hand. "let's go, peg."

peggy: shIT

steve: shawty got low low low low low low

peggy "is that true?" peggy tried to ask steve after rey explained how he had feelings for her. if so... that was shocking. extremely. but at steve's words, she froze. ouch. that was a harsh one. but it was necessary. so peggy swallowed thickly and held on tightly to steve's hand before turning and beginning to walk away with him.

rey no... he couldn't have just said that. had he? he /had/. he didn't love her. once upon a time they were inseparable, spending every day together. first he had used derek against her, and then he outright said he didn't love her. not even as a friend. her hands clasped over her mouth in shock as her eyes fell shut, not even acknowledging them anymore. silently, she began to sob as she slowly crumpled to her knees on the ground, slightly ripping the comfortable pajama pants she had on, decorated with stars. she hated this. she wanted her best friend back.

steve "it was." he admitted swiftly, avoiding her glance. it was before he knew peggy was alive. it was a mistake, all of it was. she had a boyfriend anyway. right as he's ready to turn on his heel, rey falls to the ground in front of them. at first he thinks she's hurt, so he accesses her body quickly until he realizes she's just crying. oh no. was it really that harsh? his jaw clenched as her scene attracted attention from civilians in the park. "rey... just get up, okay?"

peggy "steve," peggy gasped as soon as she saw rey fall to the ground. they were friends at one point; and she knew steve wouldn't want to see his friends hurt. even though it was obvious she was just crying, she knew steve would still want to help. maybe. so she stayed back but watched carefully as he approached her again, hoping things wouldn't get worse from here.

rey rey simply ignored them both, covering her face with her hands and tucking her knees to her chest as she continued to cry. after all they had gone through together... that was what he now thought of her? simply because she was jealous? sure she had said some things that went over the edge, but he knew she hadn't meant them. but his words... he meant each and every one. and she didn't care that he was now seeing her break down right in front of his eyes. she couldn't hide her sorrow anymore. she cried even harder as she leaned forward slightly, threading her fingers into her hair.

steve steve pursed his lips, sending peggy one last apologetic glance before crouching down next to rey. he wish he could comfort her like he used to, but it felt too unfamiliar to him at the moment. "c'mon, rey. get up." he curled his hands around her forearms, making sure to be gently while he pulled her to stand. he meant the words in the heat of the moment, but now he was beginning to regret them. "i didn't mean it, alright?"

peggy peggy nodded her head swiftly as her eyes saddened. she knew he had to take care of this. he needed as many friends as he could get here in magnolia, seeing as they had enough enemies. and she didn't want one friendship to be ruined because of some simple jealousy. she kept some distance, but watched closely with a sympathetic expression as he tried to apologize.

rey "no... no..." rey cried as he, literally, tugged her up to her feet. it took a few moments for her to get a stable stance on the ground, but when she finally did, she began wiping at her eyes as her sobs became almost completely silent. "y-you did- you-..." she tried to say, but only wept harder, wiping at her eyes yet again and trying to move out of his grip. she was beyond humiliated and ashamed now and just wanted to go back inside where no one could see her.

peggy: wtf im tearing up

peggy: this is rly sad but its also bc of this study guide LMAO

peggy: but mostly bc of this bc aw

peggy: i miss my bbs

steve: omg dont crrrrrrrrrrrry

steve: im sobbing this sad ass song just came on my shuffle i feel it

peggy: right omfg

steve: speaking of shuffle wdyt about the plot shuffle

peggy: what about it

peggy: did they post it

steve: no they just talk about it when they get clique qs

peggy: oh lmao tru

steve: ive never done one b4

peggy: idk ugh

peggy: bc i dont want rey or peggy to be stuck with chars they've never interacted with

peggy: fml

steve: same dude

steve: can u imagine if peggy and negan had to be 2gether

peggy: riP

peggy: steve would be freaking tf out the whole time

steve: steve would literally bust through every door in magnolia to get to peggy

peggy: i love him what a nerd

steve the expression on rey's face caused an ache to spread through his chest. "i didn't, i-i swear." he murmured softly, struggling to hold back the lump in his throat. he couldn't believe he let his anger get the best of him and cause this. the last time he saw rey this upset, it had something to do with snoke. she was right, he lost everyone he loved. he always did. he looked back at peggy with forlorn eyes, almost as if he was making sure she was still there.

steve: im cryin

steve: ldr just came on im gonna fight

peggy: whats ldr

steve: lana del rey

peggy "it's okay," peggy mouthed to him when he turned to look at her, making a silent promise that she wasn't leaving anytime soon, unless he asked for privacy with rey. she understood that she wouldn't understand their friendship, and she didn't try to. it was for them, and none of her business. unless steve was being hurt.

peggy: nice

rey "you /did/, you did," rey sobbed, beating her fist weakly against his chest two times then just crying again. maybe if she wasn't so weak from the concussion, bruised ribs, and all the medication she was on, then she would've run away by now. or maybe she just didn't really want to run away. she wanted to stay, to bring back what they once had. "l-leave me alone," she pleaded anyway, attempting to tug her arms out of his grip, to no avail.

steve he let her hit him once again, her fists rekindling memories from their last fight. "stop, s-stop!" he curled his hands around hers, pushing them away from him. "stop this! stop trying to fight me, rey. i don't wanna fight anymore!" who would have thought, steve rogers, the kid who would fight anything or anyone, begging to avoid a quarrel.

steve: im screAMI

peggy: riP

peggy "steve," peggy gasped when he raised his voice, immediately stepping to his side and placing a hand on his shoulder. but she didn't stop him from speaking to her. he wanted this solved, and she didn't blame him. so she let it continue, and would only step in if things got really bad.

rey "then why would you /say/ that to me?" rey sobbed in distress, trying desperately to tug her hands out of his, though, obviously, that was impossible. he surely wasn't even using half his strength and she was using everything she had in her weak body. "y-you don't want to be my friend, you-you don't love me anymore..."

peggy: im em o

peggy: r u here

steve: IM HERE

peggy: YEET

steve "i'm sorry," steve looked down, letting his head hang low. he was apologizing to both of them at this point for losing his temper and control. "yes i do, rey! i never said that," his eyes were wide in confusion, "do you even want to be my friend? every time we're near each other we fight!"

peggy "it's okay, steve. m-maybe we should take this somewhere more private, though," peggy whispered, noting how people were beginning to stare at the three of them. if steve was recognized... the location of the wedding would be the smallest issue.

rey "of COURSE i do! i-... i miss you..." rey admitted, her voice thinning out to hardly nothing as she said it, finally peeking her eyes up to look up into his own. then she sobbed again as she shook her head. "but-but not after you said that. n-no... y-you meant every word... e-every word..."

peggy: midnight rip

peggy: and still working on this piece of shit.

steve: jesus h christ

steve steve nodded, instantly cooling down when he heard her voice. peggy was his happy place. any place, any situation; if peggy was there, he could do anything. "no i didn't, rey." his brow furrowed and his face fell once again. "let's go home, okay? come with us."

peggy peggy held onto steve's arm gently, though he was still holding a fragile rey up. she wondered to herself why she looked so sickly, but kept her thoughts to herself as she led them both inside, and up to their apartment. "i'll get some waters," she offered and stole a kiss when rey wasn't looking before moving into the kitchen to do so.

rey rey didn't want to go to their house, to where the two of them spent their time together. but the stress was overwhelming and she needed to sit down, but she didn't want to go to her home just yet. she still wanted desperately to fix things with steve. she let him practically pull her up the stairs and past the door, feeling too weak to do so at that point.

steve "okay." steve whispered quietly against her lips. he lead rey's weak frame to the couch, passing over the spot where the coffee table used to be. "-uh, are you alright?" he questioned, refusing to let go of the grip on her arm.

peggy "you don't seem too well," peggy agreed, bringing over a glass of water for each of them and setting it on the little makeshift table they had in place of the coffee table. she knelt before them and looked worriedly up at steve, silently asking him what was going on.

rey "yes," rey exhaled as he sat them down on the couch, closing her eyes and bringing her hands to her head. "i... d-derek and i were pushed down a flight of stairs... i hit my head and got knocked out. and bruised a couple of ribs... w-we went to the hospital and now i'm on five different kinds of medication..."

steve steve shook his head at peggy's questioning look. he had no idea what was going on. whatever it was, it was more than just her being upset. she looked horribly fatigued. "what?!" he exclaimed loudly. the floorboards in the house might as well vibrated at his staccato.

peggy: omg steeb my bb

steve: he cares so much about his girls

steve: peggy, rey, nat, wanda

peggy peggy's hands came up to her mouth at rey's admission, looking over at steve in shock. oh, no. she knew her steve; and she knew the guilt would hit him /hard/ after this. "i-i'll get some ice," she whispered immediately and jumped up, jogging to the kitchen to get some ice to cool rey down.

rey for some reason, she assumed steve had known about her injuries. but how could he possibly? they hadn't spoken in weeks. "i-i'm sorry, i thought you knew..." she admitted honestly, nodding in appreciation as peggy went to get her ice. then she moved her hair out of the way so steve could see the stitched up gash near her temple, with sweat-soaked bandages covering it.

rey: im emo

steve way to go, steve. he felt absolutely terrible for everything at this point. all previous guilt he had was superimposed at her admission. "o-oh, god, rey. i'm so sorry." his gaze fell to his hands, which he quickly retracted from her forearms and placed in his lap. once peggy returned with the ice, he gave peggy his best attempt at a smile.

peggy peggy knelt in front of them yet again as she finished wrapping the bag of ice in a paper towel, giving a small, hesitant smile back to steve. "back of your neck, darling," she said to rey, handing it over carefully. any friend of steve's was a friend of hers. she was choosing to look past their differences, as they obviously wanted to as well.

rey rey shook her head. "i-it's okay, i should've told you..." she whispered, feeling bad that she'd, accidentally, of course, kept him in the dark about it all. it was why she couldn't stand up when he told her to, why she couldn't leave when all she wanted to do was run away. but maybe it helped them reconcile in the end. "thank you..." she whispered to peggy and placed the pack on the back of her neck, leaning back against the couch pillow with a slow exhale.

peggy: LAST PAGE

peggy: ITS SO LIT

steve steve instantly sat up from his spot once peggy administered the ice. she didn't need to be on the floor anyways. "i don't blame you." after the whole coffee table mess, who would want to speak to him? he acted like a complete and utter fool in their apartment and in the park. "i'm sorry."

steve: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

peggy "no, no, no," peggy mouthed reassuringly, shaking her head and helping him to sit again. "you sit, i'm okay." obviously rey wanted, or needed, his support right now, and she was sure he needed hers as well. they had just come back together, after all.

rey rey opened her eyes and looked sorrowfully over at steve, shaking her head gently. "don't apologize, it's my fault too... i-i didn't mean anything i said either, i just wanted your attention again..." she admitted. speaking of... she looked down at peggy sadly. "i-i'm sorry i was so jealous... it led me to do things that i wouldn't usually do. bad things, and it wrecked my relationship with the best friend i've ever had. so i'm sorry..."

steve steve responded to peggy's refusal with a tight lipped nod. "you didn't wreck anything." he murmured with sad eyes. "i shouldn't have got angry when you told me what you did. i acted the same way when you were with derek."

peggy: omg wtf when did u get here

peggy peggy smiled kindly and nodded to rey, gently patting her knee. "it's alright... everything's all better now," she reassured her with a light, soothing tone. obviously she and steve were very close, and it made her sad to think that they'd spent so much time apart because of peggy herself.

rey right... derek. that was a whole other ordeal that she still had to sort through. her eyes closed slowly as she let out a heavy sigh, readjusting the ice pack on the back of her neck. "i don't know what's going on with us now..." she admitted quietly, peeking up at steve again. "i want to be married to him... /so/ badly, but... but he's still not ready yet. and it's been /two months/... we've known each other for three of them... he doesn't understand that i haven't had a real connection with anyone for fifteen years... i don't want to waste anymore time in my life..."

[hellopro-go]

[Album Review]: ⑮ Thank you, too - Morning Musume’17

So the heavily anticipated Momusu album was officially released yesterday-ish! I hopped on my computer immediately after classes to snatch it and get a taste of more modern post Tsunku-makes-everything Morning Daughter fakeness realness. Click through the read more to get more juicy details.

Tracklist-

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) 2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta 3. CHO DAI 4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai 5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go!  6. Style of my love 7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban 8. Seishun Say A-HA 9. Wakaindashi 10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ 11. Dokyuu no Go Sign 12. Koi wa Toki ni 13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) 14. BRAND NEW MORNING 15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary Ver.)

--

1. Jealousy Jealousy (Album Ver.) Coming right back in our faces with the tune that captured our hearts is Envy Envy, but SPARKLIER! Jealously is a tune with the funk-ish tune that would usually be gifted to a group such as Ju=Ju, but Tsunku-papa decided that it was time for a switcharoo. The vocals this time are much more clear, is the first thing I noticed of the Album Version, which is odd because usually albums from Up-Front are very over-mixed and muffled. This lets us know that there was a lot of effort put into the cleaning of this wonderful piece with a break down of an early-underground j-rap vibe. One thing that will always fascinate me about this sound is how the string instruments used here brings such a feeling of elegance, that it makes me feel like I’m rich while listening to it. Surely Tsunku understands and executes luxury in his spot on composition this time around. 

2. Romance ni Mezameru Mousou Joshi no Uta My first impression was a  woah! from the beginning instrumentals. Immediately I was thrown back into the early 2013-2014 EDM songs that Tsunku used to produce for Momusu such as [What is LOVE?], and I fell in love until.... They started to sing. One thing I’m not crazy about is when management pitches this intense, powerful instrumental and then they break it into this... childish, “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” kind of melody. It’s done so much that it’s almost expected, but they got me this time, I’d say. Around the 3-minute mark, the melody gets very enjoyable for me, with more opera in the BG and a ballad reminiscent of The Vision. The fact that Morning Musume isn’t afraid of using soft high notes nowadays is great too.

3. CHO DAI Bitch I love fart-sounding electronic noises in my songs and it sounds like sarcasm but it’s high key not. One pattern that I’m starting to notice and it’s starting to irk me is the constant use of “one word” LONG REST  “one word”. It was very refreshing with [Seishun Kozou wa Naiteiru], but after being repeated about a hundred times, it’s just boring and needs to go. This song is a good example of what me and my friends call “Scrapped Melodies” because at some parts it just sounds like Narcissus but slightly different. If you want a clearer example of a scrapped melody, think of Brainstorming(@0:37) and Wakuteka(@1:00) with that one farking melody that’s like... the same melody.

4. Watashi no Nanni mo Wakacchanai This is the song I’d been anticipating the most on this album. After watching the recent Budokan footage of the song and my friend drilling me about how “Maachan fucked Sakura’s shit up here like do you not see that??!!”, The song grew on me to the point where I’d listen to the concert performance like it was an official track. It was also a great decision to keep this song behind bars until 2017 because in 2015 Riho sang some lines that were just... not her  strong point... honestly (@1:17 & 3:45). But other than the lack of charisma that lives bring to this song, this is a good put!

5. Jama Shinai de Here We Go!  Here We Go... again with the “one word” LONG REST  “one word”. Even though this song is a bop. There’s something about the subtle nature of this song that drew me in, despite it being a tad bit on the plainer side of a Momusu song. Though I’m still a bit thrown off by Chiichan, she knows how to blend well to the point of merging with the background. The dance, might I add, is just basically Angerme’s Ai Sae but slightly different, pffft.

6. Style of my love Very stylish! Brings me back to something akin to [Senobi] in a way. With a melody of an early action anime opening (I’d say Inuyasha, or a classic fantasy-shoujo anime,) This song knows how to advertise itself. With Haruna having a few solos in this, it really shines and radiates a glow to the instrumentals. The dance break was a bit underwhelming, but do I hear Maria??? Wow, she’s really growing into her voice. I have very few qualms about this song, and I’m generally pleased.

7. Narcissus Kamatte-chan Kyousoukyoku Dai 5ban Shamefully, I found myself whispering “Motto, Mitsumete...” multiple times through the day. And finally we don’t have those classic Momusu heavy harmonies on like 99% of the darn song, and they lowered it to a 97%, but I’m tapping my foot, waiting y’all. This song is nearly as stylish as Style of my Love, but theres some feeling of living luxurious, yet lonely and discontent. I’m digging the story in it, even though I know the lyrics must be some irrelevant diarrhea.

8. Seishun Say A-HA Gonna get this out here first: I didn’t like the song when I first heard it a few times. Then it grew on me a bit and I can generally say I have a love-hate with it LOL. LIKE IM SORRY, BUT this song sounds like a pirate song. Like everyone in momusu is a stank ass pirate with scurvy and they’re having a sailing montage to find treasure. But it’s... it’s catchy for some reason. ugh. why @ Tsunku

9. Wakaindashi Damn do I love Duu and this song in general, but the soft EDM is bothering me for some reason?? We are back with the “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody and I’m still unnerved by “You can get fatter or skinnier” line like... why.... But this song is CUTE for Duu and therefore I support it. I also like the choreo in many ways. Duu controlling the wave is so cute. The dance break was pure.

10. Mou Gaman Dekinai wa ~Love ice cream~ Me while reading that Haga’s gettin a lot of lines cause its a quartet: AYYYYY Me listening to the song finally: wtf this is Like ok I like the fact that it’s more rock orientated but it’s like... a lil boring. Especially the whole “Mougamandekinaiwa” all fast and shit.. It didn’t fit. I feel like this is a early rock vocaloid song. But I enjoy the fact that Tsunku is experiementing with different genres. He really loves his job. #come back papa

11. Dokyuu no Go Sign I love this song wtf... It’s like a near perfect combo of rock and EDM. Maybe if momusu would stop with the heavy ass harmonies it’d show a little more of it’s capability. The style of the song makes momusu seem more united despite the crazy battle for center currently going on. And Miki getting more lines is chill af (They’re realizing Mizuki is gettin old lol). The blend of musical elements along with the message of the song makes more a good pick-me-up, hype yourself up tune! PLUS THE LAYERING OF HARMONIES INTO THE HOLIEST DANCE BREAK TUNE IS MY ACTUAL SHIT. The bridge after that is so celebratory and invokes a feeling of greatfulness, I love it.

12. Koi wa Toki ni It goes from a video game level to where you gotta sneak around characters to the classic “I’m a kindergartener playing at the park” melody... again. I’m really trying to get into this song but it’s very hard. It’s very plain and barely has any shine to it. One good thing I can say is that during the instrumental break, I’m reminded of early Kikuo songs and uh... I’m a whore for Kikuo so I fell for the break like a klutz. The use of unusual sounds here gives it a spacey vibe.

13. Joshi Kashimashi Monogatari (Morning Musume '17 Ver.) NGL Joshikashi gets more and more cringey each time (especially Nonaka Miki’s verse), so this is a song on the album I’ll rarely indulge in. I love the fact that Maria incorporates her love for baseball to her verse even though she’s not my oshi. I value her a lot LMAO. But other than that, it’s a good song to familiarize yourself with the girls’ voices.

14. BRAND NEW MORNING god I hate this song, So Jean Luc Ponpon is deemed worthy enough after Mukidashi was released and gained popularity, and they bring him back for another round of Tsunku vs. Ponpon and this time, in my opinion, he flops. Brand new morning just isn’t my cup of tea no matter how many times I listen to it, and usually I can make my brain like an H!P song if I listen to it a bunch of times. Something about this song is very lacking and monotone, and doesn’t really get the feeling of a new Era across to me. If anything, this is the Jealousy Era to me (because everyone in Momusu is salty rn).

15. Ai no Tane (20th Anniversary ver.) I still really like this song, even with the updated singers. It’s much more fine tuned than back in the day, which really shows how music production has changed over just a span of 20 years! Amazing how fast the world progresses, isn’t it? All I can say as a closing note for this updated piece is that I’m glad Tsunku didn’t turn it into some crazy ass dubstep wub-wub version of the original. Thank you Tsunku papa.

OVERALL: I’d rate this album a 7.2/10. I feel like there could have been much more style variation in the music, track by track, especially because Momusu is so “highly esteemed”. These girls need to tackle other genres with how far they’ve come, especially since the older eras would bounce between stuff like [Memory~ Seishun no Hikari] all the way to [Onna ni Sachi Are] back in the day. 

I’m also hoping that next time around, it isn’t Mizuki, Oda & the Backup Dancers. That’s one thing that bothers me the most out of his album.

Till next time!

[moritzstiefelwiki]

Yooo for the detailed headcanon meme would u mind doing like... all the ones ure able to for Hanschen? Like feel free to skip as many as u want but itd be cool to hear ur thoughts on my Best Boy

Um? Little Hansy Rilow? Jackass Extraordinaire? Love of my life? Ofc I’ll do as many as I can!! Thanks so much for sending these! I hope you like them and I’m sorry they took me so long! (Also I answered these out of order and towards the end I was running a bit low on steam so there are some answers that are Not So Good mixed in there, sorry)

Under the cut or on Ao3 here :) 

1. What does their bedroom look like?

I think for the most part it would be tidy. Bed made, desk (mostly) clear, etc. He’s got some laundry on the floor, a couple of books lying about, and his jacket as well as his school things are never put away but everything else is in it’s place. 

His desk is by the window so he can make good use of natural light and It’s usually got assignments for school on it as well as whatever books might go along with them when he’s not using it. 

He keeps a small collection of books in his room- his favourites. Whatever he’s currently reading is kept on his bedside table and everything else is stacked by his desk but they should be on the shelf in the living room. 

He’s a nerd.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

 I don’t think he would, not outside what he needs to do (school). Not unless you count him monologuing while he masturbates as a ritual, I have a feeling that’s a daily thing. 

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

 He does not, he would much rather lounge somewhere comfy with something he finds enjoyable. A book, a person, a puzzle, etc. 

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I can see him being like “Everybody, get out of my way” (This is meant to be read in John Mulaney’s voice from the thing where he followed this with something like “I’m just here to feed my birds”) but I can also see him just clearing enough space for himself and getting to work. I guess it depends on who’s in the kitchen making what and what he’s going to be making. He’s not going to be interrupting someone that’s making cake or pastries just so he can cut vegetables in peace. 

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

His parents/governess were somewhat strict about cleanliness when he was a child so he makes an effort to keep himself well groomed, especially when adults are present. No dirt under his fingernails, his clothes and hair are neat etc. He’s less concerned about it when he’s with the other boys and even less when he’s relaxing, either by himself or with Ernst, but he still somewhat pays attention to how much dirt he’s getting on himself or how much work it will take him to make himself look properly presentable before he finds himself around adults again. 

I think I got into workspace okay with his bedroom? He’s mostly tidy because he has to be, any disorder in his room can easily be taken care of. 

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

I think he would love sweet things (candy, fruit, berries, etc) and he’s always a slut for baked goods. I have no idea what kind of things ppl usually ate in 1890′s Germany. 

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

He only really considers time wasted if he’s not spending it on something he likes to do or needs to do. So he has no favourite way to waste time, he only feels as though he’s wasting time if he’s bored out of his mind for no good reason. 

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Ernst. It really isn’t safe for him to be smooshing booties in a vineyard with another boy but? He’s doing it. And being all poetic about it too ofc, he really likes Ernst. 

If he can indulge he will, he loves it. Life’s too short to deny himself pleasure, so long as said pleasure doesn’t harm him and/or get in the way of him becoming a millionaire.  

9. Makeup?

None. I can see him maybe trying, or at least wanting to try makeup at some point? Never with anyone around or if there was a chance of someone catching him though. (I’m a sucker for boys in makeup tho and I think modern Hanschen would enjoy makeup. If u want to hear a bit more abt that u know how 2 contact me)

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Neurotypical Hans™

11. Intellectual pursuits?

Literature and languages. He loves reading, loves diving into a book and analyzing characters, plot, symbolism, all of it. He loves talking about them as well, he could talk for hours about his favourites. He’s fascinated by other languages and speaks a handful rather fluently as an adult. He probably also enjoys reading the same book but translated into different languages because no translation is exact and it’s always interesting to see a slightly different take on things. 

I can also see him having interest in biology? Because science is fascinating and it’s amazing how diverse and intricately designed living things can be. 

12. Favorite book genre?

He talks about the books he likes when he’s jerking off so I don’t think I really need to get into that lmao 

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Multisexual. Bi/pan/ply/whatever. A pretty person is a pretty person & all that.

I think he might see the idea of sexual orientation as a little silly or perhaps performative? He understands that he’s expected to only like women and knows that once he’s older he’ll be expected to marry one, to have children etc etc. So for the most part he keeps his attraction to men to himself (Ernst being a very obvious exception, likely not the only one but it’s not something he would ever reveal lightly) and he thinks that most people are doing the same in order to avoid being judged negatively by their community.

Something along the lines of “everyone is only acting like they’re exclusively attracted to the opposite sex because it’s what’s seen as normal. They don’t want everyone else to point fingers at them calling them sinners and sexual deviants and condemning them to hell so they deny themselves half the beauty the world has to offer. For this same reason, they’re quick to attack anyone around them who might be revealed as queer. They’re so focused on keeping their own secret safe that they never realize everyone around them is keeping exactly the same one.”  

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Biggest: “When I am amillionaire”Smallest: I don’t think he has any small goals tbh ? 

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

I’m not rly sure what this one’s asking tbh?? He likes looking nice tho.

18. Favorite beverage?

Hot chocolate 

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona?

(I think a recurring theme would be his future- what he wants, what he can get, how he can get it etc.)

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

I’m stickin 2 sex ones bc otherwise it’s Too Vague and stresses me tf out tbh

Turn-ons: hair pulling, necking (he loves hickies but he’s strict about not having any that might be visible), being straddled, nice thighs, a good ass, little gasps and moans, begging

Turn-offs: bad kissing, poor hygiene, not listening to/paying attention to his feedback, going too fast (Mr. “half-closed eyes, half-open mouths, and turkish draperies” would Def love foreplay and teasing,, trying to skip right over it is? A no.)

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

See 1  

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

See 11 (he’s pretty good at everything tho)

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Long dead because it’s 2017, but 5 years from the show he probably sees himself in university. 

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

I don’t know what his plans would be but I’m sure he’s got some cushy career in mind that he wants to work towards. He’s a Rilow, he doesn’t need a backup plan. 

27. What is their biggest regret?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Ernst. His worst enemy is probably whoever is second in the class rankings, if you go by the play. Melchior in the musical. Little Hans is In It To Win It. 

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

His brain shuts down for a minute and then he realizes that yes, this is happening and oh dear god I need to get out of here. He tries (and fails) to give the impression that he is calm, cool, and collected but he’s doing pretty good for someone who is screaming internally as loudly as he is.    

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

He just keeps going. He tries to act like everything is fine, to show that he’s strong. The second he’s alone he deflates. He’s depressed af but does everything he can to hide it. 

31. Most prized possession?

I’m not sure what exactly, but it’s something fancy and adult that makes him feel sophisticated. He won’t admit how much he loves it though. 

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

33. Concept of home and family?

He thinks of it as faintly ridiculous. 

“Why are these people somehow more important than others simply because you share blood? Shouldn’t the value of your relationship with someone have more to do with how well you get along and care for each other? What’s the point of marriage, you put on a show so you can have children as you’re expected to and this absurd cycle repeats with your children and so on.”

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

He greatly values his privacy, he usually only shares exactly as much information as is necessary. Unless he trusts you, in which case he doesn’t s hut the fu ck u p 

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

See 7

36. What makes them feel guilty?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Analytical for the most part. He knows what he wants out of life and  what he needs to do to put him on the path to getting it. I feel like he operates with a mindset a bit like “people can leave you but things are forever” and so he’s pretty okay with making decisions that hurt people (himself included) if it will benefit him financially, academically, raise his social status etc. 

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

A? I don’t know tbh, my knowledge about this is limited to the 30 seconds I spent skimming the wiki article   

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Peace and quiet, being alone. Bonus points if he’s somewhere pretty and/or rly comfortable.  

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

I don’t feel I know enough about either to say lmao  

41. How misanthropic are they?

He thinks people are ridiculous, h

ryan sent me a post abt dragon dicks which got me rambling abt this one furry i follow and. lowkey shattered my train of thought, I don’t remember what i was planing 2 say here and I’m too tired to start the Thought Translation Process over again lmao 

42. Hobbies?

Reading, puzzles, Ernst, calligraphy, 

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

He completed university. The only real difference between formal education and self-education is if you have a diploma people will believe you when you say you know what you’re talking about.  

44. Religion?

He’s whatever everyone else is. I don’t what religion everyone is in the show,, I don’t know shit abt religion tbh. But he believes in god, though he’s not as devout as everyone else. 

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Foolish. Ridiculous. Absurd. Childish. He believes in them.

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Words mostly. He’s excellent with them and loves to talk and talk and talk. 

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Ernst, probably. I don’t doubt that Hans loves him dearly but I don’t think he’s in love.  

48. How do they express love?

He talks about milk. 

I can’t think of anything lmao

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Tbh I can’t imagine him fighting. He probably just says something that pisses someone off and then gets knocked flat on his ass. 

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

I don’t think so, I think he feels almost like. I don’t think invincible would be the right word, but he sees no reason to fear it at his age. Yes, Wendla and Moritz died, but he has no plans to kill himself and he can’t get pregnant so a botched abortion isn’t a threat to him. He’s in good health and he’s got his wits about him. What is there for him to be afraid of? He can worry about dying later.