#but the asterisk lives on
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the elements at the end of the periodic table barely feel like real elements to me. idk, if you can't hold a lump of it in your hand without it exploding due to radioactivity--man, radioactivity is barely the right word, it's a loose mass of neutrons and protons that only just holds together for a few microseconds--you can't do chemistry with it. it's not a chemical element, in the sense it is not found as part of any compounds on Earth or in space, because it does not exist long enough to form chemical bonds. i get that you wanna finish out the last period, make the bottom right corner nice and square. but you're not doing chemistry. you're doing Stupid Particle Accelerator Tricks.
#and maybe there's no hard cutoff between 'radioactive element'#and 'fun thing to do with a particle accelerator that looks sorta like an element if you squint'#but maybe the ones where the most stable isotopes have half-lives measured in microseconds need like idk an asterisk next to them#or something
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it’s no secret that there isn’t a TON to go off of when observing falin’s characterization (esp since she’s more of a tool for the narrative, and the personality that we do get from her is from other characters’ perspectives). but i’m very curious to know your thoughts on the “even if it means hurting someone else, i want you and my brother to live, marcille” part. imo, it’s probably the closest we’ve gotten to seeing her as flawed and deeper and more complex than we are initially led to believe.
plus i trust your analyses on these characters :)
ambrosiagourmet already did an analysis on that panel which was my basis for formulating falin's characterization when i was first getting into dungeon meshi and i honestly don't think it can be topped/ i really have nothing more to add to this:
"Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action."
"So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy. It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly."
#asks#falin touden#honestly this was what made falin click for me i think#it's a complex characterization to have the shy quiet and kind one be so conflict averse that it's almost cowardly and selfish#but it's so immediately recognizable#isn't it?#we've all met or been one of these kinds of girls before#“girls” with an asterisk bc it can often mean there's gender fuckery going completely unexamined bc that would mean more conflict#falin is a very kind girl who lives all alone in her own head with her eyes shut and her ears plugged#and her mouth firmly closed so that no one is told about her real thoughts and feelings#not even herself.
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................ he
#i feel like I posted this already but I also can't find it in any recent posts so...#......he#cats#EVEN if I did post it.. why not poast himb again? it's he#I'm like halfway through actually editing aforementioned costumes and stuff and i WANT to work on sculptures again and I have video#s and that worldbuilding slideshow and all of these things so hopefully like.. more usual stuff soon maybe.. to be posted#for now though yeah.. just cats#The end of the year is also when I panic about the passage of time and how little I've gotten done and how I will never actually be a#sucessful game maker slash author slash cat cafe owner slash set designer slash costume designer slash psychologist#who lives in like Scotland or somehting and also owns my own candle company or something ghbjhb#and will probably just be a mentally ill hermit recluse all my life who dies early of mysterious health issues with 5000 projects left#undone and blah blah the crushing weight of chronic illness and capitalism and so on and so forth#So then I scramble to get projects done to try and meet some goals but usually that means I scatter between projects#so it takes longer to finish all of them. Like instead of dedicating 8 hours to one thing and finishing it one sitting. I'll do 2 hours on#this then 2 hours on that then 2 hours on another things. so they all get done slower even though I'm still technically making progress on#them all. This is also a very poo poo pee pee stink brain way to work and is not like. the most efficent thing but it's just how my brain#organizes tasks sometimes lol#***#(<ignore this its part of an OCD compulsion lol. anytime you see me type three asterisks I'm not bleeping out a curse word#it's just a Special Secret Foolish Thing I Have To Do At Specific Uncontrolable Times When Brain Says So gbjhhj)#ANYWAY... eeeee#Still haven't resolved my mystery chest injury though so being at te computer for too long is also kind of achey-inducing#Better get over it though because I have like 30+ hours of slideshow vidoe to edit hahaha hee hee hoo!!!!!
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For all this Moon lore we're getting on Ruidus I do feel like the Imperium is planning on a very Early Christianity Movement route of things
"We want to live on Exandria, sure people will be welcoming but some probably won't, better to just go down there guns a'blazing going 'My god can beat up your gods in a fight' and settle in that way"
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#critical role spoilers#cr3e85#ruidus#exandria#bell's hells#I mean the gods are part of the power structure yes but different faith systems exist anyway like the Ashari and the Eidolons#Ruidian faith could (mostly) have been accepted...minus the whole mental subjugation stuff#“Predathos challenges your Prime Deities to a Steel Cage match for the Exandrian World Championship!”#It still acts on oversight though how the Imperium expect to wake the God Eater when they're living on its prison's outer shell#plus the whole matter that Ludinus might be wrong and it'll wanna eat them too#in other news Otohan still got LEAPS I mean seriously 90 feet?#BH will fight Ludinus* with Fearne captive and Ashton lava-damaged but one look at Otohan and it's 'we gotta run' that's trauma for ya#*asterisk simulacrum Ludinus not actual Ludinus but they didn't know that
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As someone who knows nothing about Oberon but loves your art: where do I start if I want to understand your love for the man?
oh man. oh jeez ( wheezing ) haha okay. uhm. erhm. i didnt expect to get this far uhm ( shaking )
so here's the problem: oberon is from lostbelt 6, a chapter in hit gacha game fate/grand order. you can play f/go if you want and chug along to lb6 - which is unfortunately a chapter 6~ years into the game's main story. but i cannot with any sort of conscious recommend a gacha game to people.
so playing the game is one option. option two is checking out atlas academy database, a website that has all of fgo's stories and such conveniently catalogued! click 'main story' on the top of the page and it'll give you just, well, the main story.
if you want to watch the stories themselves - which at least for lostbelt 6 i highly recommend because the OST is amazing - there's also this commentary free LP on youtube that i've linked to people!
that being said that is still a lot of words to get to lostbelt 6, so- if you don't want to read everything pre-lostbelt 6, i recommend going to the typemoon wiki and reading the summary on each story pre lostbelt 6 ( so, up to lostbelt 5.5 ). just click on the link in each chart and you can find a detailed beat-by-beat summary of each chapter.
i've been told that, in all honesty, that lostbelt 6 is still enjoyable and easy to understand without full context for the outside story beats. it certainly reads like a fairly self-contained story outside a few things needed to understand why some characters are here in the first place, so i've been considering writing up a summary on just those key points / the premise to the lostbelts so that people can read that and then jump right into lostbelt 6 and love oberon...
hopefully this was helpful in any sense of the word heehe ... if you need clarification with anything feel free to send another ask !!!
lets all love oberon!!! lets all think about oberon!!!!!!
#moka rambles#historically accurate king arthur: the game#oberon! oberon!! i love oberon!!!!#^_^#sorry i feel like im rather bad with helping explain how to get into a series because i so rarely consume new content#i just kind of stick my foot into one thing and live with it ( has been into fgo since 2018 )#again lostbelt 6 is apparently just fine to understand without much other context so i gave a bunch of backlog reading but its probably not#all that necessary ^_^;;#if anyone has better tips on how to get into reading lostbelt 6#or how to get into loving oberon...#feel free to add....#edit: also ill note that while i say i dont recommend fgo Morally#immorally im one of the few people who actually really likes fgos gameplay*#*asterisk being that i dont think its good gameplay for a gacha game which requires something very flexible and its just not very flexible#but anyhow. my point being is that if you do decide to play fgo#i do think you can and will get genuine enjoyment out of it#its just a Lot to get through but its so worth it. shakes your shoulders#believe me#edit 2: ALSO THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ART HAHAHA#thats very flattering ^_^#sorry i got so blinded by sharing my love for oberon i completely missed that i was complimented. thank you heehe
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I speak 3 languages fluently, like fluently fluently.
I draw good.
I code fine.
I doggedly made darn sure I dun have a ‘gap’ in my resume (cuz they said that mattered for some reason?)
you’d think there’d be a job for me somewhere.
#feels#*heavy asterisk*#a job that doesn’t make me miserable and facilitates my annoyingly perpetual eating habit#and my other vices such as sleeping with a roof over my head#and if I’m feeling frisky not living in constant fear that I will trip one day and the hospital bill will leave me in financial ruin#you know crazy stuff
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#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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I need to like do something different and drastic to my hair sgdgdgdggdgd that good ol feminine response to stress of going through IT and being like 🙃 I should dye my hair 🙃🙃🙃🙃
#marquilla#i say good ol feminine response as a joke btw i know its not a gendered response go away#i need to vent SO BAD but everytime i try to word it i cant help but feel like someone's gonna pop in and diminish my issues#by being like WHAT ABOUT— or IT WON'T AFFECT YOU LIKE IT WILL— and it's like i dont wanna have to add an asterisk caveat note like#i am aware that what i am experiencing and what i am feeling is not comparable to the other people currently suffering or the way other#peoples lives will change — like i just need to scream and bite something and tear it between my teeth like an animal bc im just so angry#and tired and fed up#AUGH
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Did you hear? He's finally gonna have a real base. They grow up so fast
Version with no BG under the cut!
#He won't even live there but it's okay he'll have a house asterisk#vintagebeef#hermitcraft#vintagebeef hermitcraft#hermitcraft 9#daily-beef#day 134
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idk something about this to me seems so like. idk. like you know how people will be like haha i like this bad cringe thing but ONLY ironically because it's cringe :) but actually they just like the thing and they're scared of being judged for it? this is like haha i support women and stand up to men who are being misogynistic but i also need to make it clear that i agree with those men and they're right to hate those women* (*fictional) btw please validate my thoughts and opinions because they still align with misogynistic male behavior while shallowly suggesting that i have a feminist belief system :)
edit: actually though because it just becomes a way to say which female characters you fucking hate while feeling okay about it because it's just a jokey joke we're all feminists here :) and i see hashtag rey from star wars and it's like okay haha i get it she was poorly written by men and highjacked as a character by a notoriously vocal subsection of the fanbase because of a ship or w/e but then i see
and it's like okay well. now i am about to defend a female character with my life after YOU said you didn't like her. why is skyler white a magnet for misogyny and vitriol, she's a fantastic character and she is 100% understandable in her actions given the circumstances she was forced into. fuck you fr
#reading into this WAY too much i'm sure this wasn't the intention#it's funny and true and definitely not that deep but it just rubs me the wrong way idk#like hehehe we all hate female characters :)#nobody can handle even mildly unlikable female characters. we are never getting out of the sexist media landscape we live in rn#and even the little jokey joke saying you defend 'unlikable' female characters from unwarranted sexism needs an asterisk#anyway.....#not even making this rebloggable it is so special snowflake sensitive lmao but i feel that it is true#like i KNOWWWW i know what they mean. i get it. w/e. but also........ idk. why can't you just like female characters more :(#like for real. no asterisk#edit: may be time to rewatch breaking bad ?
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"Should we not do something to stop her? That human is going to die!"
"Relax. They'll be fine*. If you try and stop her from doing this it'll only be bad for everyone. Especially her."
#muse: futo#muse: nue#dash commentary#The asterisk is that she's referring to their level of spiritual wellness#not whether they'll live or die
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wahahahaha enjoying a discussion on a personality disord sub with a lot of fascinating ideas but where everyone is being mean as shit to each other and im like damn i missed this. and then i went. no i dont i live on tumblr.
#i miss. kjhsdfkjg trying to share a perspective on a pd sub and having ppl take it really really personally and Factually Scold me#no i dont!!!! i live on tumblr!!!!!!#<- how could i ever judge. im the one on the PD subs. having a disordered personality#<- imagine a million asterisks on that i dont care enough about to be academically rigorous about anymore
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man I'm so sick of this shit just be nice to fat women (especially trans ones!) or kill yourself idc
#if I read the words 'healthily round' or 'the hot kind of fat' one more time#im gonna figure out how to send ballistic missiles with my mind#sick of you fucks#fat women are better than you not sorry <3#like#I want to exercise and eat better but I dont CARE about losing weight#I could stay right at the 380lbs I'm at and be FINE#I'm just so sick of this fucking asterisk that people need to be attached to fat people's lives#'oh no its okay she actually works out a lot and doesnt eat sweets or anything like that'#who GIVES a FUCK#why do YOU give a fuck????#THATS A WHOLE NOTHER PERSON YOU FUCKWIT#just leave people fucking be#I have soooooo so so so so soooo many problems with social shit about my weight#and they all shake terrible hands with my transness#im sick of it#im sick of these little requirements being needed to be seen as a person let alone a woman#fuck you if you've ever said anything like what I've talked about here#change or die#I 1000000% do not trust thin people to talk about anything constructive when it comes to the treatment and depiction of fat people#im tired#and im mad#im gonna be a bitch about it#leave if you want#fuck
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Let’s see, why do I follow Lex? Could it be the incredible replies? The way your headcanons are always so thought out? The attention to detail? All of the above? Yes. Absolutely yes. Your blog is perfection and I love reading you how you bring Tristan to life
Please tell me anonymously or not why you follow me. I could use some positive messages
#Ladamedemartel#Listen#There is a significant asterisk within the very soul of my blog.#One expressing gratitude and a special recognition to you.#Among the things I developed for Tristan there are so many directly or indirectly touched by your influence.#You give Tristan such a glorious whirlwind of a match#And be it in your magnificent threads or in your impassioned explanations of Aurora's facets.#You offer me so extraordinarily much to think about regarding the person he spent a millennium of living with.#Because...And this could be my most controversial opinión yet...I think these two might actually be pretty important to each other.#So if you do enjoy Tristan: Thank you! But remember to pat your own back as well.#Because he most certainly wouldn't be the same without his Rory.#Out of eternity#Positivity
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i love listening to sleeping at last bc you either get the most beautiful melody you've ever heard in your life or you get your spine ripped out through your mouth and then fed into a paper shredder
#theyre very good at rearranging my atoms#they put my brain in a microwave#immediate one hit ko to my nervous system#literally what the FUCK is your PROBLEM#sleeping at last#'but i put it out of my mind / long enough to call it courage / to live without a life line'#'if brokenness is a form of art / i must be a poster child prodigy' & 'i wanna love you but i dont know how'#'and leave my greatest failures / on display with an asterisk / worthy of love anyway'#dont even get me FUCKING started on snow okay
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Thinking of wild AU concepts tonight and came back to the Amalgam AU idea I had for Resident Evil. It lifts a lot of System Shock 2's dynamic with SHODAN and the Many, but essentially Leon nearly dies in Gaiden after his solo encounter with the B.O.W. parasite. Turns out that parasite had just beaten up the newer, second parasite, so the new parasite clings and melds itself into Leon in order to stay alive. That's why the cut on his throat bleeds green in the ending. Leon just thinks he passed out and is unaware of most of this.
Flash-forward to RE4 and Leon's asking Ashley if she's hearing the weird multiple voices speaking in her head too. Ashley's confused because she isn't, and there's differing symptoms of infection between her and Leon. They chalk it up to plaga behavior, but it really becomes noticeable when Leon successfully gets Ashley treated and passes out.
Ashley wakes up to Leon on the ground, looking more emaciated than normal... like he's lost a significant amount of flesh. Is that even possible?
Then a shadow flits across the wall.
She screams when there's another Leon - a younger, bloodied, Leon, asking her to help "our host".
The Amalgam tells her that they had reached a symbiotic relationship with their host, until this intruder began to ruin their union. "If you repay our favor, then our unity shall be restored. Our intruder shall live as one with us."
Ashley is trying SO hard to not panic because there's one version of Leon speaking like a hive mind with nosism, and the other one is passed out looking super plaga infected at this point. She asks what the Amalgam is, and they politely recite their backstory.
"And what will this... unity mean for Leon?" she asks.
The younger copy's dull eyes seem to look puzzled. "We have always been one. We will return to our harmony, together."
Okay, so this... thing was in Leon the whole time? How come it didn't present itself before? And what's cooperating with it going to do to Leon.
The copy smiles.
"But you fear us. We hear your thoughts - and they rage for the one you believe dead. But he is not. He sleeps in us."*
She eventually agrees, and the copy... merges back into the other body? And when she props Leon up and runs the machine, it malfunctions mid-way. But the inky veins vanish, and Leon opens his eyes.
Cloudy, dull eyes.
Ashley grabs a nearby scalpel before Leon dissuades her. It's the same professional, slightly awkward tone he'd had for the entirety of their time here, which lets her relax, a little. In fact, Leon's the one who's most startled when the Amalgam mentally projects their gratitude to Ashley, now with another voice in their choir.
Anyway, the rest of the AU would be the events of RE4 where Ashley and Leon have to deal with Leon's secret dual parasite hivemind that's now part cruise-ship parasite and plaga. With body double fun times too, because that's a thing Leon can do now.
#random musings#resident evil#resident evil 4#re4#will i ever stop making obscure and silly headcanons?#leon kennedy#ashley graham#this makes more sense in my head I swear lol#but it's 99% indulgent system shock body horror#the asterisked quote is a slightly edited quote from the Many in system shock 2#everything else is from my silly brain#bits and baubles#tw body horror#amalgam hivemind would go OFF against saddler btw#“a lost individual wishing to ruin the harmony he has amassed” they complain#meanwhile leon is like “please I just wanna say dumb eye-based one liners”#anyway if I wrote a fic for this it'd revolve around ashley figuring out how she's gonna live her life after this#she got kidnapped to be a pawn#and her convos with amalgam/leon make it even more clear to her she wants to do her own thing#plus leon now has to deal with this wacky biohazard infection i've cooked up
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