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echo-of-damnation · 9 days ago

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im not feeling good so im going to rant about the book Dead Men Walking by Steve Lyons because none of my irl friends will know what im talking about and i need to get it out of my system.

apologies in advance for anyone who ends up reading this

first things first. absolutely love the funky little krieg guys. i love that they just fucked their entire sick ass planet because the loser guys on top were like " yeah nah fuck the big man who is def not a god and fuck da rules". i applaud theyre blinding loyalty. one of their best traits imo. i love their quirks of not having standard names and the absolute crippling disappointment and need to atone for a sin so hard they send theyre young off at an unnatural amount. I love their hehe dont care about casualties front everyone thinks they have but they do and will take their lives in consideration. that some of them will feel fear at running head first into an unwinnable fight and some will flee. its so. human. like deep down in their gene code, no matter how much they reproduce these soldiers, there is a part of human nature that will always and forever be there.

I enjoyed Krieg by him and wanted to see more of their silly little lives in action. (this was before the siege of vraks book came out so at the time it was just those two books and pieces of lore scoured from the internet)

now! with that said!

i went into this book excited to see my funky little gas mask guys. what i ended up getting was a weird sub plot line about my guy Gunthar and the goveners daughter (ah forbidden love. a tale as old as time) and a little bit of the funky little guys.

after shit hits the fan our boy Gunthar gets separated from his one and only and ends up drafted into the PDF and gets to hang out and do really fun things train and fight with the kriegsman who came to "help" the planet from the shit that hit the fan.

spoiler alert. it was the funny robots hitting the fan.

while there is some really good parts in the book going through some of the fights with the dkok and ol'gunt it always ended up going back and bringing up his little crush. (who we find out is all in a shit hitting the fan situation but ends up fine at the end with the guy who liked her from afar and who shows up halfway through the book and this book wasnt about them okay. it was supposed to be about my cool guys.)

we get some super cool dialog from one of the krieg colonels saying something along the lines of "you just want to use us kriegers cause you think our lives are worth less than your own peoples lives. go fuck yourself." and some great moments when we actually get to see a kriegsman without his mask and its painful how young the boy is. it was great! more of that!

at some point all of gunny's krieg friends end up dying/they peace out because they cant contain the necron threat and its up to our love sick boy and this last baby krieger to do something.

so they blow the robos the fuck up. kinda.

beby krieger sacrifices himself(who didnt see that one coming) and gunthar does his thang.

NOW. I MUST CLARIFY. I MAY BE GETTING THESE TWO EVENTS SWAPPED IN ORDER. BUT IT REALLY DOESNT MATTER TO MY RANT.

at one point, and this is were i got frustrated and its kind towards the end ish, all of the important people of the planet are getting evaced which includes the govoners daughter and the lost puppy guy she found along the way.

what happened to the gov? the krieg colonel fucking shoots him for being a little bitch colluding with the enemy. so treason.

ANYWAY, the girl and the guy are getting onto the ship to leave when op! who is in the crowd! gunthar! hes there! he finally made it back to her! now to just tell her and oh who is that man touching her? hes kinda close and is she getting comforted by him? well i guess she didnt really love our boy in the end and his whole life is crumbling down around him. whats there to live for now? guess he'll just go die.

(now that im think about it i think this all happened before they blow up the necrons)

in the end i just kept getting reminded at every turn that yes this book is about the dkok but we are never in the pov of them. we watch and interact with them through gunthar who also wont stop trying to prove himself and find the girl he liked.

im not saying romantic plotlines shouldnt have been in the book but i feel like they should have taken a backseat. i didnt want to follow around the daughter as she leads a little revolution with some slave humans against the necrons. i wanted kriegsmen. i wanted to see how they lived and fought. how they interacted with each other and those around them. its fine that we had gunthar as our guy but i wanted more of him with them. at one point he ends up seeing them as brothers and finds comfort with them and the kriegsmen also end up respecting him a lot for his efforts. that could have been built on! that is an interaction that is never really seen and it would have made the story so much more. idk. i dont want to say better but like. more cohesive?

in this conclusion i will like to say i did like the book. it had really enjoyable parts but it wasnt great. its not a book i would pick back up and read of go and recommend to someone new to the fandom. it just never felt like a krieg book. just a book with funny gas mask guys sometimes.

thank you for coming to my ted talk. if you did enjoy this word vomit of a rant please like and subscribe and hit that bell for notifications so you know when i lose my mind about another thing in warhammer that no one else cares about. idk how to end this.

sincerly,

a sick little guy

#mwuah #im sick and tired and i took meds #and they rekindled my frustratin with this book #Dead Men Walking #Steve Lyons #has anyone else read this book?#am i the only one that didnt care for the love plot?#if you do read this im sorry for its incomprehensiveness #please do not hate me

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99izms · 2 years ago

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papercuts

/ kiss it better (angst, sexual themes, fluffy ending) 800ct

warnings: the writing includes sensitive talk of unenthusiastic sex, please be cautious

lyric synopsis: ive been waiting up all night / baby tell me whats wrong

do you remember those times as a kid when you hurt yourself in some way and someone would tell you itll be okay, then theyd kiss the pain away?

youd say thank you and tell them it felt all better, but that wasnt true, was it?

i used to assume we all lie when someone kisses our pain away just to make them feel better— theyve done the best they could after all, but ive seemed to notice, after asking around, the papercuts did feel better after a big kiss.

those moments when the heat from our cheeks turn from anger into passion might confuse others, but i knew what the line was and when we crossed it. i could tell which tears on my cheek were beomgyus and which were mine. i knew how to hold him when he hiccuped after our kisses, his nose still red and his eyes still puffy.

no one likes arguing in relationships, but a lot of people like making up. i dont.

there was an odd feeling whenever i looked into his eyes in the middle of the action. he held me close and his hands grasped at me like i was disappearing, but my heart and stomach hurt in a routine way every single time we made up.

i enjoy being with him, i enjoy engaging with him sexually every time we do, yet i cant help but feel that kissing papercuts is the childish version of bandaids over bullet holes, and thats just the hyperbolic version of make up sex.

as a kid i never admitted to anyone that my wrist still hurt after someone said they put enough love in it to heal it, i didnt want to cause a big fuss. im still not sure if i want to cause a fuss, but part of me felt beomgyu noticing the way i would pull away.

the most recent time we argued he paused while inside of me, holding my cheek. my stomach was hurting when i looked at his long eyelashes and flushed cheeks.

“whats wrong?”

i shook my head and tried to get him to continue, not wanting to face the issue. instead, he pulls himself out of me fully and lies next to me.

��baby, tell me whats wrong,” he whispered into the dimly lit room. i almost couldnt see him, but ive studied his face for so long, theres nothing about his face i could miss, even if my eyes were closed.

the sobs from the argument that laid dormant started flowing again, this time into beomgyus chest rather than his cheeks. then the feelings from three arguments ago started pouring out, then four arguments ago soon after. (two arguments ago wasnt a large detriment to me, as it was largely my fault. i couldnt feel sad for that one.)

i clawed at his body, not sure if i wanted to hurt him for hurting me. how fair is that if he thought he was making it right?

still, he let me scratch him. i scratched at his shoulder, as close to his back as i could get, his chest, his neck. i scratched at him, and it felt cruel but the tears clouded more than my eyes. i scratched at him until i felt the scratch turn into a raised bump, soon to bleed.

i tried to rub the tears and drool away from my face before attempting to nurse beomgyus wounds before they worsened.

he shook his head quietly, contrasting my erratic behavior violently. his hands held my head and brought it back to his chest.

his heartbeat began to patter as it does when he cries, but he placed his hand on my head, forcing me to lay and do nothing else. my only option was to lay in his hold and sleep, so i did.

when i awoke, i looked at beomgyus sleeping body. his chest was red and bumpy, but not nearly as bad as i had thought it would be. his nose and eyes were red too. maybe he had wiped the blood off himself.

my hands ran up his body, feeling his chest, neck, and cheek. i watched the way his eyelids occasionally twitched in his sleep and thought about how cute he looked when he was calm. i thought about how noticeable i mustve been last night. i thought about how maybe arguments can actually end now.

i leaned over and kissed beomgyus eyelids softly. he opened them soon after, telling me he thinks his tear-burned eyes needs an ice pack after how horrible last night was for both of us. i smiled and told him id get him something to help.

i thought about how kisses dont make everything better, but that was never the point.

#kpop #tomorrow x together #txt #txt smut #choi beomgyu #beomgyu x reader #idek what to call this #txt angst #txt fluff

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strawberryseeded · 8 months ago

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itadori yuji: unwavering humanity

sorry this is mostly rambling tbh i just need to get this STUFF out of my system !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive had this in my drafts for over a MONTH now so i just need it OUT

from the beginning of jjk, itadori wants to help ppl by allowing them to die a "proper death". during his time as a sorcerer, however, and particulary after (his first time lol) dying in the reform school, he realized how weak he was & how much he wasnt even in control of his own death. the curses were. sukuna was. and itadori learnt what it felt to be scared of his own helplessness.

but still, bc hes itadori yuji (a very stubborn guy who keep moving forward no matter what, without thinking, without an ounce of self-preservation), he still mantained this goal of helping ppl. this time, however, understanding that in order to do so, he has to (in typical shounen fashion) get stronger.

in the next arc, itadori meets junpei and mahito. we learn that junpei is a nice kid, but as we know, after much pain and sorrow plus mahito's manipulation and corruption, he ends up trying to kill his classmates. itadori once again faces the fact that there's a lot of evil in this world. there's people he can't save, things he can't fix. even more importantly, if it's about curses as evil as mahito, he wants to kill (itadori and mahito's enmity is really prolongued and interesting in general, constantly making each other evolve).

a bit later, he and kugisaki kill two death wombs (who they believe are curses at first) and after that he learns (from sukuna who just needs to make him suffer more, as a little treat <3) that it's bc he ate sukuna's finger that many spirits are awakening and causing ppl to die. he doesn't exactly regret his actions, but it all weights on him, painfully so.

on his way to save as many ppl as possible, itadori has become stronger, but he's also killed.

then comes shibuya (ha.....)

after losing people so close to him, allowing sukuna to end so many lives and being made fun of by sukuna and mahito for being so naive and (again) so weak, itadori almost gave up his goal. it's thanks to todo's ted talk that he got up again (as he always does).

itadori thru this arc learns to see himself not as a hero but as a cog in a machine. he's only human, after all: an individual (a weak one at that), but also part of something way bigger. his values, beliefs and desires are itadori's: born from his temperament and upbringing. individual. but the fact that he is human shapes him, the same way being a curse shapes mahito.

itadori finally understands that caring about people it's in his nature because he is human, but also that the why doesnt matter. and so, to save people, he'll kill mahito like it's also second nature to him.

(is he fine with it? does he want to? thats not relevant anymore. he's only following his nature, moving in automatic-mode. like a predator when he sees prey. not evil, not selfish. just doing what he needs to, what he's made for).

after shibuya itadori changes. he's still him, but the way he kills curses and tackles his job as a sorcerer it's almost machine-like. it's kinda eerie. we know he's not a machine, obviously. by this point we know itadori well: his immense suffering caused by other's peoples deaths and pain, we see his scars. he's still very much human, and still very much itadori.

more than ever before he wants to help people.

the thing is... despite what he said to mahito about saving people "for no reason, just like mahito kills and makes people suffer for no reason", itadori's desire to help people says a lot about him.

from the very beginning this desire has profoundly affected the way he interacts with other people and also the way he views himself. he's only worthy and valuable when he's able to save people. it gives him a role to play, a reason to live, a way to connect with others.

(it always has: in one of the first chs (i think ch 3 in the manga?), when confronted with the reason for becoming a sorcerer, he finally admits that he wanted something only he could do. that's even why he joined the occult club (which was bound to shut down without him) but not the sports clubs even when he was clearly gifted for any sport he could play. yes, it was also bc he wanted to visit his grandpa at the hospital, but itadori wanted to be needed. to serve others).

even when it's hard, when he doesn't want to, when the price is so high...

for itadori it's not only an instinct, it's a choice.

and then the culling games happen... and sukuna takes megumi's body.

megumi's itadori's friend, itadori cares about him. and megumi saved him. and he is taken by sukuna bc of itadori's fault. bc of the vow he and sukuna made that itadori cant even remember.

itadori's no longer sukuna's vessel now, so his initial purpose of retrieving sukuna's fingers so he can be killed along him is over. by this point he's long realized not only that he can't save every single person, but that he cant avoid killing and hurting other ppl, can't control his own death, can't even protect people who are close and important to him. he's weak, he's "bad". guilty. but it's not like before; itadori doesn't want to absolve his sins, that's not why he does what he does.

itadori's only goal remains unchanged: to save megumi and fucking KILL sukuna once and for all. it's literally his life purpose; once a wish given by his grandfather, then a duty imposed by the jujutsu society. now, it's itadori's own will. he despises sukuna. it's absolutely personal.

more than ever, his capability to help and save other people gives him a purpose, a reason to live and keep moving forward. its what keeps him grounded and himself. what makes him so human, despite all the pain and all the evil, despite all of the powerful curses and curse users around him who thrive on hurting and taking. no matter how many times he's beaten to the ground, he gets up again, his ideal never faltering. he'll always care about and do his best to protect people.

this is the reason why sukuna cant really figure him out. why he says over and over again thru the series that itadori's boring and weak. sukuna was human once, a sorcerer as well, but the thing is... he was strong. insanely so. and the way sees it, being strong is everything, not a plus, but a must. being weak is equivalent to death, so helping the weak is pointless. being already at the top of the food chain, sukuna's only moved by and interested in power and strenght, and so, he doesnt really get itadori. he sees him as -basically- a pathetic insect, which is, funnily, part of the reason why he hasnt killed him yet (the other part of the reason is, as ive said, that itadori is tough as nails).

& maybe it sounds kinda cheesy but i do truly think that all of what i just said is the reason why itadori just might win. he literally represents the compassion and resilience of humans, even against pure evil. this unwavering humanity and love for other people, even when it's painful and hard, is what makes him so strong, in a way sukuna doesnt understand. this is why people love itadori yuji.

#NOTE: each time i say itadori's weak i mean by jjk's world's cruel standars lol T-T this boy is STRONG both physically & mentally #jjk #jjk manga spoilers #no i can't stop thinking abt itadori yuji AGAIN. SO WHAT #i wanna talk more abt sukuna..hes insane. but ill SHUT UP for now #oh alsoooooooo another part of me believes that uhh sukuna might as well win and jjk will end in a 'and the adventure continues...'#bad yet hopeful kinda way...like..itadori & sukuna keep fighting till death #even after sukuna wins & destroys everything n everyone itadori loves (even more)..or something #BUT I WANTED 2 KEEP THE POST ITSELF POSITIVE SO THAT STAYS IN THE TAGS #....oh fuck ...tthis..got long....#di4ry

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only-lonely-lovers · 1 year ago

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07.26.2022

tags: fingering, pantomime, dubcon, manipulation

notes: having fun with positions! and thinking about earlier TL hananene

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：[in reply to this drawing] I like to think tsukasa will eventually wrap his legs entirely around hanako while he plows Nene and he'll be horny about it when he thinks its her doing it, up until he feels heel of shoe bumping him and hes like [distressed kermit] she wasnt wearing shoes

あ：this is a good follow up.

つ：a smart boy would do this as he knows climax is approaching

get sunk nice and deep. encouraged by a grasp of legs. hanako briefly: YEAH YOU WANT IT AS DEEP AS POSSIBLE DON'T YOUOHHHH I CANDO THAT FOR YOU

あ：ohh if there's anyone attuned, to when amane is 'close', it is tsukasa. from the position of being spectator 90% of the time and having a more clear head, and being really keyed in on little physical tells like that

つ：poor nene in her state is not so capable of…. conscious actions and tactical moves. she's just skittering about helplessly.

あ：I think nene has like 0% capacity of registering environment when this smothered It's just like. AHHHHH

In an endearing way, I don't think she can… think… mid plow… about almost anything…

it is the ideal time for Tsukasa to slide in with a motion of somekind. and he gets to enjoy the feeling of Hanako definitely definitely responding to it and being encouraged, baring weight down harder, clutching tighter… s'good it's just like aha.❤️

つ：she can't make choices at different phases… it is up to tsukasa to move her through a new phase

あ：You hear Hanako like huff breath loudly and shake his head

つ：the moment at which hanako just responds huffing and chuckling evilly and ramming all his weight down--

あ：The Yeah The villain

つ：its a cause and effect. and tsukasa gets to enjoy being shoved into the floor along with Nene. its very mmm❤️ yaay heehee

squeezes affectionately with legs. that one makes him briefly hornier like wtfff mmmmy little minxxxx [feels shoes] WAIT

あ：[his body betrays him and he nuts before backing out of this] It's just like wait -- shoes-- AHhh.

つ：the problem is as well Nene is making all her little noises she does like it and your brain is responding to this tandem of being squeezed and hearing her

あ：your cock is not discerning.

つ：still very much worth coming about you just feel a little bit of dread mixed in

あ：There is nothing to do. about the circumstance.

Though in moments like these I think Hanako really would prefer to not. Address it. i can't call attention to it, because it'll seem like i was like idk. perhaps consciously abiding by it. lay there

small thing also but I like to think Tsukasa is the only one who can really enjoy the feeling of two whole bodies resting wholly on him in a stack like this www…. i think it is a unique enjoyment. being so compressed down there

つ：mmm everyone i enjoy to do the hug to all.

あ：[reaches up and rubs both your bodies intermittently]

comparatively i imagine its like. in any other arrangement its kind of as though tsukasa latched onto the back of someone like. nene is resting on hanako and tsukasa crawls on her like a frog. and hanako is like oof. [1 second later] no. [rolls] and for nene its like. oof. […] um… boys. ^^;

つ：its not very uhmmm… maintainable for her. hanako also being 3 stacked is like.. this is silly. goofy come on…..

あ：cut it out. be serious this feels like some sort of kiddy game now

つ：for nene its just a fond like mm… hugs… then politely rolls them over as a stack. but its most likely to be hanako who intervenes first.

あ：A girl can enjoy a big hug. but it's like well… if we're going to hug. maybe we ought to be in a better position for that if we are feeling cuddly

It is only Tsukasa who likes to feel so squimched. likes the chest pain guts are so flattened

つ：enjoy the doubled up weight

あ：My brain also keeps being like. tsukasa is the guy w the crazy spine. & then chopping and screwing griffin being like, horse destroyed my dick and balls with its crazy crazy spine

つ：thinking as well about birds hanako fingering nene while tsukasa is being cute with his fingers… like to imagine hanako getting fogged and hazy obviously after a short period, watching fingers go in/out, kinda tuning out tsukasa's presence, it's about the details of wetness and folds…. tsukasa gently, loosely circling thumb and pointer and middle around hanako's fingers/knuckles, stroking up and down, so as Hanako sinks in and back out, this extra loop is passed through… which does get hanako's attention in a more fluid, almost subconscious way? enjoying the light pressure and the rhythmic rolling sensation, the pulling of the pussy walls as he sinks in-out chased by this looser ring of fingers. Reaches a point eventually he naturally pauses the fingering to watch and feel the fingers stroking over as his tips remain prodding her, enjoying watching mucous trail and smear over his fingers..

but its going to be like…. [tsukasa notices this] [squeezes gently, breaking the rhythm intentionally] [hanako snaps out of it and almost embarrassed, and indignant, just starts arrhythmically ramming Nene, hard enough to smash tsukasa's hand between them, crossfire, a real… pointed carelessness.]

ACTS LIKE YOU'RE NOT HERE! things like this are. ah nene's end is like she can't begin to predict what sensation is next. lost in feeling needy while hanako is still and this odd brief flitting, tickling sensation of tsukasa's hand moving faintly, contacting her and moving away… and then just KLF;SDJKG

あ：oh like there's no way for her to keep up with this play by play, on her end she's just been feeling hanako get slower and slower and then eventually stop… I like the thought of fingers encircling over fingers a lot, while both of their hands are coated in wetness, verrry fun… i always love the visual of fingers pumping over fingers, in pantomime, has its own elegance to it..

hanako the. fingers guy. i do think it makes him like space out to see/feel… uncontrollably enjoys the show

It would ruin Hanako's life if his fingers thing was especially brought to attention / exploited honestly. I think it'd feel so. [pie in face] not even able to be as mad as he gets about other things as much as like searingly humiliated like ffhjghfH jgfhZ!!

Just kill me

つ：feeling yourself respond fetishistically is a new sensation and sadly its vvvvery tasty fruit. i imagine once fingers stuff is detected it will feel the MOST like being dangled a treat and having to resist it.

the desire to. experience more and layered finger appreciation via the multiple bodies…. agonizing when its like mnrngh i wish nene had more hands… [brain goes to problem solve] NO, no…. no

but I think its also why… ohhh so effective. to just wait til he's really enjoying luxuriating in Nene to start stroking his neck and chest and adding more stroking anywhere else he'll just be like mnnmmgh its getting so awesome rn… [not counting the hands]

あ：It is a unique, new kind of torture. as it is, just having to navigate not feeling too baited and caught during sex is a minefield, hanako always is ready to be on edge and dodge being seen enjoying something too much. a specific fetish being brushed up against is like mgh… always going to make brain feel slowed to a crawl. start to pant

Oh I do think he's really a guy who likea get chest, neck rubbed… liiike the feeling of fingers and palm dragging against body, sliding around. Before any awareness creeps in, I think it actually really stills his mind and makes it like [peaceful kind of head empty]

つ：its the feeling of luxuriating under touch/attention on top of it aalllll. feeling like king. the desire to not appear to enjoy something too much, and the impulse to egotistically luxuriate in waht suddenly feels like mmm deserved splendor, they are often battling

the braincell that starts to scream WORSHIP ME!!!!

あ：the crown starts to descend thats right… thast… THAST RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think it's even comically a slippery slope of like. braincells start firing off tyrant boy king chemicals. and then the crazy inner monologue starts going off like Ohh you just cant fucking resist can you…. [BITING. TONGUE.] stupid……….. skanks…. [coughs]

つ：when the entitlement and frustration and boyking crown sortof kiss in the way of like, crushing tsukasa in an interaction or acting more overtly, punctuatedly careless (like just stepping on him if he's scrounging about below them and getting in the way, or shoving his face with palm and leaving it there to shut him up), it just simply results in pleasing tsukasa with a motion meant intentionally for him and him alone. and i think it also gets hanako off at that point. when it is one hand on girl's hip holding her in place to smash and one hand over tsukasa's mouth to shut him up it is MY THRONE!!! I CONTROL WHEN THE FRUIT WILL FALL

thats right you stay still girl. and thats right you also stay still. everyone fucking BEHAVE

あ：There are times when dom brain is a useful crutch like well fine, you've forced my hand. i'll just make you all act like how i want you to.

つ：I think the mental state also sometimes bleeds into nene which is fun for her incidentally… if he's feeling snarly from tsukasa's rascalling in a particularly spirited day, it also results in becoming more impatient and rougher with her…. which is, hot. for her.

あ：uncontrollably attracted to shitty bf

つ：less patient and understanding when she whines or goes to grab at him or isn't cooperating with something.

あ：my brain always chops and screws these panels bc i think about hanako grasping nene's face this disrespectfully a lot. and shaking her side to side. same with tsukasa though. just a thing…. in my brain

つ：the observant face I'm always rly into… its such a good… looks at you like bug… expression. its often used in AMVs so tastefully and i can feel us all wishing hanako would look at us like that

the thing where hanako is a DOM!!!!! we're respondinngggggg. me and the girlies of the world

あ：girlies gather round…

つ：i think successful baiting in the long termmnn is like… plowing nene…. in the mood that is grabbing tsukasa's face to shut him up/keep him from sniffing or whatever he's trying to do… tsukasa starts sucking his fingers… and it becomes mmgnmmn.hh hmh.gmgnf.hmh…. hgg [starts fingering mouth] FINE [JAMS FINGERS IN THROAT]

but then i think you can't multitask so good and its just intermittently ramming Nene, skittering about, then rubbing tsukasa's gums and teeth and pinching his tongue, then getting back to Nene cuz you stopped moving, then tsukasa starts swirling tongue around knuckle, then its back to that,

あ：sucking fingers in such an instance would ex-TREMEly be successful, it is perfect bait congratulations tsukasa… it's really the perfect balance of agitating hanako and turning him on with something. it's not like as pest-y or annoying as some other things tsukasa could do, the more pure rascal moves. this is really like. oh yous tupid fuckign slut im. [GRABS YOUR THROAT TOO.] for a second becoming so. throttles.

But also while brain is totally fizzling… cock is twitching, while buried in Nene… drags knuckles up against Tsukasa's front teeth. I don't think it's easy to multitask at all like this. though it's surely a fun experience for tsukasa and nene in the end, kind of feeling jolted suddenly as the focus redirects

つ：i think it gives nene enough reprieve time that she gets to take breaths, take stock, slightly unfog that little brain and feel the twitching in her... necessary when he's being so intense in bursts

あ：tsukasa is here to help take on this monster

つ：you need someone to tag in, ideally.

____________________

あ：I feel. Like I do need to take Avvy behind the scenes where I did get lost in the sauce earlier thinking about Hanako like. bragging about how good the sex is gonna be. The sheer shitty boyfriend aspect at it's apex of like, being showboating and confident in own abilities while being INCONSIDERATE and UNEDUCATED… it's funny to have gotten so distracted though since I was initially just having some sort of corrective emotion abt fanfic. thinking 'tch the scene would go more like…' and then just getting lost. New scene actually I'm doing my own thing

so like. I just ended up thinking about, an instance where hananene has sex immediately wwww… cuz it's such a case of hanako not fact checking his own creed. belief system. (but as much as I don't think he's thinking about it early on when Nene is clearly proposing herself as interested in being his friend, and I think binding himself to her is also just… foolish, ignoring his own rules really.) so he jumpcuts into dipping it and has sheer brainrot from it.

but the precursor to such an event having to be that Nene was so desperate she initiated something, simply a girl more… tempted by the circumstance of having someone into her, feeling more eroded by the concept of them being supernaturally bound. it's as if the roof scene where she proposes to call him 'hanako-kun' also comes with an air of -- cuz, if we're basically a couple… we… we can be more. direct and. [crumbling] and this activates hanako so predatorily like. [amane going fwuun] what's this…?

[scuffs shoe…] well, I was, just being mindless horny so i wasn't factoring realism //// so the scenario devolved in my mind, of Nene grabbing his hand and bringing it between her legs. And Hanako's brain shutting off after this gesture, having been cheeky/flirty but then just being thrown off so hard. but then he starts back up but -- [voice is lower, more out of breath, but sounding cruel…] "You. You…. ah…a… ahah. Ha-!"

licking lips. "You're crazy." ahh, it's just fun to say. "You're just crazy!"

devolving into… just outright grasping her face, tangling through her hair… watches as she tears up from overwhelm and embarrassment. but it doesn't stop him from reaching up and locating pussy -- brain is on autopilot, the. can't not feel it. it's raw instinct. rubbing up at her through tights… heeeat felt. closes eyes for a moment.

“Shouldn’t girls be more careful about this sort of thing…? You never know what a guy could be like, Yashiro.” opens eyes, looking at her pointedly. “What if I did something weird and perverted…? What if you didn’t like it? You’d be stuck with it, though. Cuz you wouldn’t think to say no! Hmm…?” humming.

“… unless, you're really tell yourself you’d like anything. Is that the kind of person you are…?” Continuously rubbing at her, and suddenly feeling an awareness of. wet. fingers are getting damp. Staggered by this, what. Was she really so wet from this? To feel it, through layers of clothing. Did girls get this wet? Kind of blanks. Rubbing… finding, what feels like… what would have to be, the entrance? Throat hurts. The ah… -is a virgin- status effect is unavoidable, in a sense. Starting to feel like shhahshhsh…. G-girl, girl wet, wet about me, right now. [stretch of silence, looks down her] Hot girl. tacks on. for himself, privately. commences shoving hands under her tights and messily moving past any panties, no grace. it's about direct contact now. Though like a maniac gets activated by the soft soft smooth lips, feeling of skin dragging against his fingers, it's like. There's no stopping the urge to shove up into, after locating entrance, pushing up into. This makes Nene buckle and squeeze her legs protectively shut on her own sort of virgin response. S-scared!! scary….

“H… hhhow easy are you?” sounding obviously more ragged… ignoring her anxiety. “Are you going to come quick, for me? Just from my hand?” Toying touches, dabbing his middle finger shallowly inside of her. Make a girl just feel insanely objectified, 'played with'. rgh… clawing at his wrist, clawing at his chest, but he won't budge, keeps flicking fingers. He has no sense of… pace, or, where to touch. it's just a pure obsessive prodding in and out and swirling against, feeling walls stretch.

intrusive thoughts: Want to put it in her. want to feel that want to feel it. [starting to feel the impediments though of. the fact that, if he did that, it would indicate personal desire] -- i wish she would ask for it though. WAIT but she should-- “Mh. M… maybe I should make you, beg for my cock.” sucks breath sharply in, as the statement wounds him as well. “–don’t you, think that’d sound nice…? You wanted to start calling me Hanako-kun, right?” grasping her face. “Hanako-kun, Hanako-kun… like that. Let me hear it?’

Oh but it looks like she’s struggling to breathe, drowning in a lake. Unable to speak. Only sounds she makes are compulsive huffs, whimpers, sniffling. poor little thing.

“Too hard?” click tongue. “Ah… just hands, then.” disappointed sounding.

つ：oh poor girl…. she would feel so. WHAT IS HE SAYING? WHAT'S HAPPENING? early series nene is so helpless… unable to THINK. almost at all

あ：she's not ready for this. FOR REAL PERVERT… WHAT THE H*CK

つ：a Hanako who has revealed nothing about himself either, I think is also the strongest and most powerful Hanako…. before Kou has unveiled his evil murderer thing, Hanako has the ultimate enjoyment of his lying and the image he gets to present. I think early series Hanako is a lunatic and he likes the little performance and his ~new personality just for Nene, and how ignorant she is is so fun. Like ohhh I can convince her I'm any kind of guy❤️

あ：it is like that… i think it's why he can start the tenor of their rship so much like ehe ✌️✌️it's me hanako-san✌️ of the bathroom👌

he is an utter stranger to her and her life is… intrinsically……… kind of… inconsequential… she could die at any point in the next few months… but ah…. yeah it is, fun, to think about a hanako who isn't… yet burdened by his history or much emotional investment in nene. basically the most casual hanako can be

つ：the most cumbrained idiot

あ：feeling like he is just a novelty to a girl. this is the hanako who does a flourish and is like i am No. 7 ….. [does his whole spiel]

つ：oh i can be this kind of guy to this girl. i think it enables him to indulge because its not.. 'real'….? this is… a play. a game. its not me really achieving something, it's pretending i am (goes in real stomach) its funny, even.

あ：purposefully acting cool and mysterious. and playful and flirty as if that's anything what he's like in life or even currently [TO ALL THE OTHER MYSTERIES YOU ARE JUST A CREEP!! NOT CUTE.]

no kou there truly is like, there's no one to . weigh in on anything. to protect nene

only i am smart enough to see this hanako as someone who would be VERY DISRESPECTFUL given the chance. honestly more so than hanako later, who has the barrier of his own feefees stopping him at times. i think chapter 2 hanako would do stuff to a girl if she was passed out and he felt like he could get away with it it's just like. I'll be havin that

つ：yeah agree. When I considered if Hanako has mindwipe powers my brain went 200mph like as if we could suddenly in a later chapter get like secret events that he wiped out of nene's mind and i was also like oughrg [gets sick about the ability] oh no

even if tsukasa had an ability suchas that. its at least not unusual for supernaturals to manipulate memories very easily as seen repeatedly. If she just saw some exchange and hanako or tsukasa was like… ❤️you are not supposed to be aware of this thing yet. not time!! gonna have to pluck that out❤️ the concept of this kind of finesse in manipulating nene would just make me too horny if it were true

あ：oh if it could be soo rich…. the amount our girl might not know she is being fucked with. i AM really intrigued by hanako having any fucking capacity to control nene remembering something

つ：anyway… I agree with Bird that early hanako would be in fact more capable than later hanako, who is more worried about what certain behavior 'says' about him, or how it influences her perception….

early boy is very sincerely not…. valuing anything, or doesn't think he is. it's silly funny times. Hanako isn't a real person, to him…. to himself

あ：ahm yeah…. Like later hanako is dealing with finding this precious and worrying about incurring risk. and, i think the intensity of his own want scares him instinctively. since it can't be framed as casual at all, to want to do things with Nene, even getting a cheek kiss from her becomes intense

… an earlier series boy is just not analyzing himself at all, it's all so "whatever" and he's unchecked and unregulated. there's no one to answer to, when you're a lonesome supernatural haunting their domain day in and day out. hanako is too busy being pleased that there's something to break the monotony

it was really just a 'time to imagine hanako saying the worst things' run ww. just going to brutally finger a girl and commenting on it aloud, depraved. observing her like a particle. but also since he's not being careful i think he's also easily praiseful like wow. awesome pussy You're really suited for this

つ：Hanako like aah those boys turning you down, they're really missing out…. ! Lucky for me isn't it ? [humms pleasantly] poor nene like l-lucky..? cries for real d.. do you. do you-- i. do you really fffeel.. lucky….

あ：hanako two wolves'ing for a second where it's like. [admires how for real emotional she seems about this, wow…] but hten like [CROWN DESCENDS, AS HE SEES HOW SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS HANGING ON HIS EVERY WORD-!!!!!! MWAHAHAH!!!!!] Ohhhhh ssso lucky yes.❤️ Aw… you like to hear that don't you… Do you want to hear it again? [fingers stroke slowly]

… it's insufferable…….

つ：weak sniffle and nod

the sadness is in how sincere nene is experiencing it and how fake hanako is performing gklf;dgk it literally is a crime!!! its a crime to do this to a girl

あ：god will come for him later [tsukasa]

つ：you'll get pantsed in due time

あ：tsukasa stepping into the scene later like amane… it's not good to mess with girls feelings its really serious for them

つ：I think getting Nene to ask/beg for more particular things is something you have to be patient for… she will go home and feel deeply disappointed in herself and violently cockthirsty and write poems about how it felt and how bad she wants it. actually it would be dope of her to write crazy poems and then be like. i wish i could say this to him….. …. m.. maybe I can just show him… my book….? then… I don't have to say it… with my mouth, which is stupid

あ：I like the thought though of Nene using poetry as a way to communicate with Hanako and bypass the sheer inability to use her mouf… TO be fair I really do think Hanako just drops pretenses of like. bathroom duty. like. [makes up excuse] you proved yourself as a dutiful assistant. but we're closer than that now we don't have to just pal around. in the bathroom.

She's dealing with less like. thine wench. vibes [guy starts massaging your shoulders]

つ：its like Hanako needs to humiliate her to feel anything in canon but if he was dipping it he'd put his feet up like. you are keeping the king stress free

so much easier to do my job if i can take a load off in between mmmm. ahhhh. its like a spa day

あ：let's just roll out that picnic blanket how bout

つ：Hanako kicking up his feet. licking his finger. to read a teen girl's little book about him.

あ：kind of smiling blankly in that way he do

つ：but I dunno how reading it would go….. if it would be pure wild arrogance inducing or if it would make him dokis a bit…..

あ：oh i dont think he's actually ready to read like artful word s… I think the first flare of emotion is arrogance, hums pleasantly opening your book and scanning over it. but- but like… he does have a whinging poetics side, we see it most in amane. the one who desires to think abstractly, talking about the moon and stars. i think reading poetry about self is like ,,, ,,, ,,, ,,. [smile quietly fades] …. this would be his first real, feeling bad about how authentic she is being. [internally] Ah, she's really ah…. not holding back, huh… Mmn. She's really not careful enough with herself.

admittedly its like. i thought i made her pussy hurt. i didnt think there was more to it

[the guy who, has never heard a girl say suki before] ..,, [rubs mouth.]

つ：confronting that….. it has to spark that. mmm should I really be trusted with this… a girl like this is going to get so very hurt… or, well, she isn't , now is she (she'll die soon)….. (realizing he will be the only guy she writes this sortof thing about. gets a little horny on accident)

its like mmm…? maybe its… harmless, in fact….. if this little play goes on until she just dies. then she'll just have, in HER mind, had a good time. with a guy.

and its better with me and not a living guy who would have to be hurt when she dies. if she were pouring this out into some guy who would go crazy when she dies. as people are wont to do.

あ：Yep. it's a good thing then, that she do this with me. A guy who won't go crazy. and won't care if she dies. Yep…………….

つ：take a deep breath. close the book. stand up. close eyes. unzip pants,

あ：i want every petal I'll just be her little boyfriend until she dies

つ：simply bend you over. thank you for your honesty, yashiro. it was very lovely to read. I will give you all you want. there won't be a single thing left unexperienced. If you have the whim, you should tell me it. Any thing. We're close like that.

あ：Eugh… the thought of Hanako framing this as him being very generous, in the end. this would be like. if this was the manga -- this would be where Hanako says something eerily similar to Tsukasa in terms of, Anything you want, you should have it, right? I'm here for that

[but it's hanako so he says things far sicker….] I'm a supernatural, I'm not a person. It's different, for me. I won't be anything like some guy in your class. … you won't want to bother with them anymore, though, right?

つ：shakes head…. I think Nene….. would…. bbe sso sick… I do think she'd…. be planning/fantasizing about getting a job at the school…. which. i would like hanako to. catch her asking like, tsuchigomori about, career counseling guy

thinking hard about how hanako is a ghost… bound to the school… so. she. has to stay here… how can she do that…. just wonder what positions are open and how one can start at a thing like that…. what class she'd teach… Hanako observing Nene planning for her future dutifully with him would. be . ow

sigh…. mmngh. [meanly, in his head] is the sex that good, yashiro….

あ：damn girl….

つ：she really is far too easily won over….

あ：it's actually a good thing she's dying soon. sheesh… you can't switch career paths for getting dicked down 💭… ………….❔ is she even thinking about the fact that… i'm going to stay…. 13.

つ：SHE'S NOT!!!

あ：chinhands. poor little dummy. in many ways, not meant to live, ig

つ：she is so simple. pitiable thing. oh girls!

あ：this is actually why i need to keep this pussy on lock she's also lucky im a ghost so i can raw her and she will not suffer consequences. idk if she's thinking about that also

つ：this all also might be more dangerous for another guy. this kind of , raw…. emotion, investment. a bit much, isn't it? that would overwhelm a guy…. if his highschool girlfriend is thinking about their future. kowaiii lol…..

あ：it's a shame some girls are just like that… and they can't help it, i guess. a shame cuz this world really isn't built for them to thrive. even if they're hot as fuck www

つ：this world where hanako can more blatantly just think like mrmgnauh hot slut

あ：bagged a sexay one what can i say i love oats and apples…

つ：this world would just be like fucking on the roof and tsukasa shows up. but ALTERNATELY, its interesting to introduce kou. while you guys are having to like. hide. that you fuck. from him. hanako like hey. yashiro. this guys family. they all dont like. guys like me. lets not. reveal. our. taboo relationship. ok its not. a thing. people would approve of. you know.

but mmm the drop of him being a murderer…. i think 'secret's out.' is the same no matter what. its like :p always.

あ：shoganai ne.

つ：oopsie doopsies. awe I was trying to keep the narrative all neat and clean…..

あ：was trying to keep this romantic. but oh well but what's kind of devastating is nene. already in canon is like. i… you're my friend anyways…

つ：she's really so surprisingly and far too overly accepting of him in canon…

あ：so. idk. a girl being absolutely railed and feeling such feefees…

つ：if anything this girl is even more poisoned like [not true but how she feels] but he is... a good boyfriend....

あ：[hanako making some new expression about this]

つ：pog

あ：inventing a new emotion

#22 #ghosties #i

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mejomonster · 7 days ago

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Got through the 3 Augment episodes in season 4 of Enterprise. Happy to see Brent, and it felt like a great set of TNG episodes or good DS9 episodes, I mean this in a good way. It brought some of the moral weight and grounded feeling Real Risk of a DS9 episode with the kind of big Moral Questions using sci fi that a great TNG episode does (of course all Star Trek eps do, but its plot was so based in TOS concepts it felt more standard episode of week self contained idea like TOS and TNG, rather than DS9 and Enterprise who usually feel more shifted into their own more season-long type show).

A little bit was handled poorly. Orion felt like it couldve been executed better, done something a bit more interesting and delved into an element of star trek universe rarely explored more. But instead it felt like set dressing to zip to the next plot point, just a garnish to go along with the much more developed augments plot. (Also Archer? He IS THE captain that rescues slaves, cares about moral dilemas of humans setting a good example over non-interference, and feels really fucking bad when he has to allow awful things to continue cause his mission is more important - very interesting stuff couldve been done with his character and the Orion station, but instead he wasnt really prioritized. The scientist was. I get why: rhe guest star, the origin story of androids and a tie in to a huge long story thread through star trek about eugenics wars and consequences. But like... they couldve made the Orion side note into something else, or totally cut it and have the doctor stage a different escape for that plot beat. It frankly felt like an excuse for the show to objectify T'Pol. And they didnt even use the choice to develop and use Archer more, when it was suited to doing so.)

I'm excited for a brand new plot next episode!

I am a Trip x T'Pol shipper because well I guess i am? And the Augment 3 episodes wrote them more job focused and in a dynamic most natural for them - mutual equal caring. And giving around equal amounts. It works well, much better than the forced feeling in E squared. And its so funny? Trip is like "its for the best, our relationship wouldve hardly been easy, human and a vulcan, romeo and juliet have better odds." And its funny because! He started this mission in season 1 arguing with TPol, irritated by vulcans in general for their prioritization of logic over emotion and their cautionary approach and slow actions toward developing things. And here is Trip now, stating its Better to BE cautious and not try to date as a vulcan and human because it would not be as easy as othet options, stating its Logical.

On one level its him being caring, by supporting what to his best knowledge TPol wants, assuring her he will go with the decision, keeping their relationship steady and reliable and NOT emotionally turbulent or demanding more from her than she gives first. On another, its Trip showing he would actually be... a GREAT partner for a vulcan. Hes shown the whole show that he's open to romantic partners in other cultures, and open to adjusting to their needs and relational norms. And depsite Telling her its good their romance is over - he's showing he can approach a relationship LIKE A VULCAN. He's showing that he can manage to not expect her to do the human thing and "fight for what she loves most" and hes not going to do the human thing of "reacting outwardly with hurt emotions because she didnt pick him." He's giving her, as best as a human can, a vulcan appropriate reaction, and showing care for her. If she worried before at any point, that Trip couldnt handle an emotional relationship with her, thats being proven wrong. Or at least, Trip may be hiding the emotional pain its causing - rather than lashing out enotionally or demanding, the way TPol expected when they first hooked up.

Its funny because for all Trip didnt like how vulcans approach building relationships (with humans, with starfleet), he's making his decisions like a vulcan now. At least outwardly. And for all the concerns TPol might have had, about being vulnerable emotionally with a human, or fearing a human would expect her to reciprocate passionately and impulsively like them, in the end those concerns were not problems. Trip has proven to be a safe confidant to comfort her if she feels emotionally overwhelmed (and vice versa), does not actually fight her over anything important (theyre a very agreeable team generally), and her concern is not him expecting her to match him in behavior... but instead her concern is if Trip is hurting and saying nothing. Which I think is why she checks in on asking about how hes feeling a few times in the Augment episodes - she does want to console him if he's feeling emotionally hurt. She knows the whole engagement marriage decision Hurt him. She wants to make sure he feels heard and if he needs boundaries or information to feel better, she can give them. Instead, lol, hes matching her effort, as they do, and trying to give vulcan logic to rhe situation so She doesnt feel unnecessarily guilty or pressured to second guess her decision.

Theyre actually a super compatible pair for a vulcan and human. I love kirk/spock (THE ship lol, and definitely dragged me into Star Trek to begin). But kirk and spock often disagree and its a power struggle over who controls the ultimate decisions (in a way the end of Wrath of Khan is an example - Kirk is captain, but spock decides to die to save the ship without consulting him, and once spock's dead kirk may be glad the crew is saved but certainly wishes it's gone different, then spends the whole next movie giving up Everything just for spocks soul). Im not sure how surak and amanda were (i love them when we see them), but parenting wise surak was well :/ a bit hypocritical and amanda didnt seem to steer her husband into stopping that pressure on spock.

I cant imagine TPol and Trip ever making such out of agreement choices.. if one of them died for the ship, the other would accept the decision must have been right to the person who made it (like Hatchery episode theyre Very in agreement and sync as a team). If they had a kid they'd likely discuss expectations privately and discuss adjustments each other need to make if they noticed something upsetting their kid, then present a united front in how they raised the kid. Unlike amanda and sarek, i think TPol (in this hypothetical) would simply let the kid show emotions more at home if Trip felt the kid was doing better with that outlet and needed it as a half human, and she'd certainly back up her child against vulcan or human society if the kid was critiqued for behavior or traits of the other species. Since she has a hell of a backbone on whats right, and Trip definitely would defend his kid. As a couple I just dont think theyd run into some of the problems other vulcan/human couples have in star trek. They'd defijitely run into cultural differences problems (and really - are in one right now, except they both keep insisting theyre fine and not bringing up their concerns fully). But they tend to resolve those by talking calmly, even if they get frustrated by misunderstanding what the other is concerned with. They dont let their conflicts affect How they work as a team (in work or as friends/more).

Trips shown that he's willing to be less emotionally volatile to keep their relationship communicating steadily, and TPol likewise has been trying to ask him emotionally sensitive inquiries lately and give warm affirmations to meet him halfway too. With that kind of dynamic they just arent likely to have many explosive disagreements. Even disagreeing, theyre trying to teamwork through it rather than fight. (And hey! Maybe thats why the writers made TPol marry! Because trip and tpol are so steady and good at conflict resolution with each other, that without an external pressure theres just very little drama).

#rant #lb #st enterprise #star trek enterprise #trip x t'pol

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inncubus-honey · 2 years ago

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treating wounds with skz

a/n: hey sorry for being mia, but im back with an ot8 post before the next royal fic. these scenarios are not connected in any way and are written in different aus for each boy

tw: talks of open wounds, blood, gunshots and graphic death in jeongins part(let me know if i missed anything)

ot8 x gn!reader

Word Count: 3.7k

bang chan- night after a full moon (werewolf au):

bruises were lightning down his back, mainly focused on his shoulder blades. darker than the rest, while others just blotted around.

"are they as bad as last time?" his eyes met mine as i came around to his front, his normally deep voice that echoed just barely came out as a whisper this time, it was more hoarse than normal. i dabbed cream to the corner of his lips; he always has some cuts on or around lips after a transformation.

after chan transforms back, he always comes home with new bruises and scars. thankfully, they're not as bad as last time. in the woods, there were hunter traps set up. chan thankfully only got caught in a net trap, but when one hunter cut the rope, he had bruised ribs for a week.

"no. just those bruises on your back and scratches here and there." he gave a slight hiss as i started rubbing in the cream on his lip. so i placed a gentle kiss onto his jaw; one hand came up my cheek to which chan then buried himself into my neck.

chan just rested himself on my neck. i dont blame him, i would do the same if once a month my body contorted in the most extreme ways a human body can. now chan is just bearing with me as i fix him up, but its better than going to bed now and waiting till morning to clean him up.

"wanna go to bed early, wolfie?" my hand came up this time and i played his soft curls as they faded into a dull blue.

"please..." he pleaded softly into my skin. giving him another kiss on his forehead, i laid chan down on his side of the bed. making sure his wounds didnt hurt as he moved or that he wasnt lying on them. leaving the room, i went to the kitchen and got some water and pain pills for the morning.

changing into my pjs of choice, i gently climbed into bed and hugged chans back. then we were brought into the sweet arms of sleep.

minho- kitchen accident:

it did feel a little bad to laugh at minho as he pouted next to me. his glare looked like a cat getting a bath, just staring down the members.

"minho hyung, we're sorry! please forgive us!" han and hyunjin crowded minho. their faces contorted into worry as i bandaged his hand.

hyunjin and han decided to pop confetti cannons for minho because they thought he was so cute as mc today.

bad part was minho was cutting vegetables which caused him to slice his palm. thankfully it's not deep nor requires stitches which is why i am bandaging it now.

"minho hyung say something please! even if you yell at us, just say something!" hyunjin pleaded at his feet, han coping the action, their hands in the prayer position.

"...next time make sure no one is holding a sharp object before you let confetti cannons, you idiots." his voice was stern, but he didnt sound too angry with the boys.

i gave a slight chuckle at what i was watching go down, minho turned to me with a slight glare. i focused back down on his hand and put a safety pin in to keep the wrap together.

"we're so sorry again, hyung! we'll be super duper careful next time!" then like the kids they are, they ran off do whatever now.

"you're like a grumpy uncle to them whenever chans not here." he brought his hand into his lap as i went to the kitchen and cleaned what mess was left there.

"does that make you a cute and sweet aunt to them?" i could hear the smirk in his voice as i washed the cutting board. looking back, he did have his signature smirk which made my cheeks hotter than before.

"i suppose so, uncle."

his non-injured hand came around my waist as he left little kisses to the nape of my neck.

i got the vegetables out and started cutting them again.

"i suppose so, aunty."

changbin- after a battle:

his armor sat on the chair, his claymore standing tall against it. i brought the pitcher from the dresser over the bowl on the nightstand. changbin rested on his back, thankfully no major injuries there.

diagonally across his chest from the valley of pecks ending below his left peck by two or three inches.

"has the medicine helped at all?" dipping a rag into the warm water, ringing it out and dabbing it gently across the wound it went from stark white to a pick tint.

changbin hissed and gave a muffled groan at the contact. he looked over my eyes and held contact as i cleaned his wound.

"better, not by much...but seeing my love after weeks without their beautiful eyes, warm smile or comforting touch i would never need any medicine again..."

fluttering smiles came along with avoided eye contact, changbin always knew how to bring my heart into my throat. i moved with light movements to clean his wound, changbin letting out hisses and groans every now and then.

i gave him my free hand to hold as i finished up with cleaning.

"i'm almost done, my dear. but soon then i'll have to start on stitches..." changbin gave my hand a hard squeeze as i moved to get the needles and thread.

"can i get a kiss after every stitch, darling?"

leaning over, i pressed my lips to his slightly dry ones. his callused hand cupped my jaw, bringing me closer to him; as much he could with his wound between us.

"your wish is my command, love."

hyunjin- after a surgery:

"y/n-this is the worst part...." walking with a bowl of warm water and a little bit of soap, hyunjin starting groaning and tried moving away from it as much as he could without hurting himself.

"i know, love. its only a couple of days until the doctor allows you to take a shower fully." sitting next to him, hyunjin grumbled to himself on his phone as i started moving the blanket and his shirt away from the stitches.

ringing out the cloth given to us by the doctor for the stitches, i lightly dabbed the area to keep it clean. glancing between hyunjin and my hand as i cleaned, i made sure not to make any rough movements on the stitching and causing more discomfort for hyunjin.

“i must look so gross for you, huh?” hyunjin rubbed his face with a whine. i felt myself frown at his discomfort because of his situation, i would feel the same way if i had to wait a week for a shower. when i got an idea to help him with this feeling. i told him i’ll be right back and went to the bathroom and brought in a chair for him to sit on as i would wash hair and face without getting his wound wet.

“hyunjin, lovebug, do you think you can stand up for me?”

“um yeah, but what for, y/n?” i grabbed his hands and gently pulled him up as he swung his legs over the edge of the bed while being mindful of his wound as he bent over on it.

“i think i have a way to wash your hair and face without getting your wound wet.” i wrapped plastic wrap around the incision to keep it dry. i got to work on cleaning his hair and face for him, hums of content as he has not been able to lift his arms above his head in a week.

10 minutes later, hyujins upper body is clean and hes back in bed now with a clean wound and clean hair.

han- falling off a skateboard:

“babe, this trick is for you!” han pointed towards me as i sat on the bench with seungmin. looking over at him, he got a running start towards the quarter and half pipe with changbin and chan cheering him on behind him. it was an autumn night in seoul; han, i and his friends were at an empty skatepark.

han grabs his board and pulls a cool 1260 flip of it and i felt a slight blush as he winked at me, i heard seungmin fake gag to my right. but upon landing his flipped underneath him shooting him forward and he rolled a couple feet.

“hannie!” jumping to my feet, i start racing towards him with changbin and chan coming from the other side, dropping their boards. carefully, i placed a hand on his shoulder as he sat up from his tumble.

“han, are you okay? that was a nasty fall…” chan also looked at han as he held his face in hands. he looked up and slowly removed his hands to only show the bottom half of his face covered in blood.

“oh shit, thats a lot of blood. hold on, bubs i have napkins in my bag.” quickly i ran over to where i was sitting, bringing it back with me over to the boys. chan and changbin did their best to control his bleeding as I dug around my clustered bag.

“found them! gently press them against your nose and tilt your head forward baby.” han slowly moved his hands, some blood dripping onto the concrete as he made sure not to get anymore on his clothes. a little bit had gotten on his shirt when he initially sat up, one i had given to him for his birthday and i think he felt bad.

“i have water in my car, ill help him clean up over there.” chan and changbin nodded, helping me stand han up. when we get over to my car, i grabbed my water bottle and poured it over the blood staining his cheeks and mouth.

“are you okay, hannie?” he could finally talk now that he had no blood in his mouth. he took some napkins and dried off his mouth.

“did you like my trick tho?” stopping in my tracks, i looked up at han with wide eyes as his puppy eyes glanced back at me.

“babe, you just busted your nose and had what looked like half a liter of blood on your face and thats what you’re worried about?” his eyes got bigger before answering with a pout pursing his lips.

“yes! i was only worried you thought that it sucked cause i busted up my face…” he mumbled as he peered up at me through his hair. letting out a soft chuckle and carefully moving the hair from his eyes, i pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“i thought it was cute that you dedicated a trick to me, but i hate seeing you hurt. i know its your not fault you got hurt, but i still get worried.” i cupped his adorable quokka cheeks in my hands as he gave a toothy grin at my words.

“i love you, y/n..” it came out as a whisper.

gently i kissed him busted lips.

“i love you, han..”

felix- scraped knee:

“hurry up y/n, you slowpoke!” felix dragged on my arm as we walked towards the arcade, an iced americano in one hand while his other was in mine. i held my drink in my other free hand at a slow pace to his favorite place.

“luvs, its around the block, we’re in no rush to play games.” he huffed, making duck lips with a pout and reluctantly came back into my side. i hooked my elbow through his as we made our way down the sidewalk.

“plus, its so pretty outside today. we have a nice walk to the arcade before we have a day of playing games until the sun goes down, bokkie.” a little nudge of my arm into his caused me to sigh and nod into my shoulder.

“Is there anything you’re looking forward to playing when we get there?” his chest rumbled against my shoulder as i thought about it.

“either ddr or crane games. i hope i can get at least one stuffed animal before we leave.” felix rolled his eyes and groaned, jokingly, as i elbowed him in his ribs.

“well, you always play beat saber or shooting games, mr. bokkie.” felix let go of my arm and let out a gasp at my accusation. putting his hand over chest in a dramatic way then moving them to his hip.

“i dont always play beat saber or shooting games y/n…i also the driving games.” he stated then took a sip of his drink. covering my mouth as i laughed at his dramatic actions. rounding the corner with felix was on the side towards the street. he would never let be on the streetside cause he would always say ‘then i would push you out the way and we could have our kdrama moment.’ then i would just roll my eyes at his cheesiness.

but as we turned, felix tripped causing his drink to spill, but also he was wearing shorts as it was spring his knees were all scraped up now.

“felix, are you okay luvs?” he hopped up onto the bench behind him as i looked for napkins in my bag. a few blood trails traveled down his legs as we both looked at them, his drink long forgotten melting into the sidewalk.

“yeah, just a scrape. but i spilled my drink…” he mumbled while looking at his knees. looking around for a cafe where i can grab napkins real quick.

“ill buy you another drink in a bit, but i want to get this cleaned up first. im gonna quickly get some napkins, dont move babe.”

jogging back to where felix was, i gently pressed them to his knees and used the water i had in my bag to clean up the dried blood. standing up from the ground, i held my hand to felix. confused, he looked up back to me.

“lets you another drink then go to the arcade, luvs.” a smirk appeared on his face and took his hand in mine as we walked to the cafe i got the napkins from.

“thank you, y/n. even though its just some scrapes on my knees, thank you. i love you.” he pecked my cheek as we entered.

“no problem, bokkie. i know you would do it for me as well.”

seungmin- escaping the enemy (fantasy au):

seungmins tight grip on my hand pulled through the burning fields. his other hand held his sword out in front of him to defeat anyone in front of us. wind whipped past my ears as his ebony locks flew off his forehead showing his stern, but boyish face that sent my heart skipping beats.

“this way, y/n! into the forest, we’ll lose them there!” he guided us to the treeline, my legs were screaming for break, but they were right on our tail. i couldn’t slow seungmin down and risk us getting caught, so i had to push forward and ignore the pain in my legs and lungs. arrows raining into the ground as they just barely missed us upon the emerald painting of trees.

the field was painted like a sunset with the fire that was roaring from the enemies arrows. gods, we didn’t even have a minute to process what happened; we had to keep moving to the castle.

“seungmin! seungie, i can’t breathe…” it was either from the smoke or from running for so long and far, i couldn’t tell. coughing into my arm caused seungmin to look back and for us to finally slow down.

“j-just a minute, please…i think we lost them anyway.” taking deep breaths to control it better, i finally got a good look at seungmin and how he was faring in all of this. his left arm was bleeding at the shoulder and seeping into the white fabric of his shirt.

“seungmin, you’re bleeding! we need to treat this before it gets in-!” cutting me off was seungmin pulling me into a bush and clamping a gloved hand over my mouth. he pressed me into his chest as we saw an enemy rider wander past our hiding spot.

i felt seungmins heart beat violently against his ribs as he sandwiched us together. soon the rider left our spot and disappeared behind the flames which lead seungmin to let out a breath.

“s-seungmin..you c-can let go now..” i whispered, not daring to speak normally at this moment. seungmin locked our eyes back together. i think i saw the apples of his cheeks dust with a pink before he slowly released his grip on my body to his.

“forgive me, my liege.” tearing his gaze from mine to the forest floor. looking back at his left arm, it looked like it was still bleeding. so i grabbed the dagger hidden in my boot and took it to the bottom of my flowy shirt, cutting a strip.

“y/n, what are you doing? you’ll ruin-” seungmin reached his arm out to stop, but i was done before he could stop me.

“its just a shirt, seungmin. i can get a hundred more like it if i asked father.” i pulled seungmin closer by his outstretched arm and went to his left arm.

“its a scratch, y/n. i can worry-” he stopped himself when i tightened it around the wound.

“but you are injured. i dont like seeing you injured, seungmin.” glancing at him through my lashes, i saw the same dusting back and i fought back a smile at this moment.

“now lets worry about finding a way back to the castle.” seungmin only nodded and gave my hand a squeeze; he started leading us through the woods with smiles etched into our faces.

jeongin- pistol whipped (cod/military au):

gabes men held the boys and i by our arms as he spoke with a stupid smirk on his face, guns pointed into everyones backs. one false move and you're dead.

“the world will only benefit from the mission going wrong! you're all either against me or with me! if you are with me, step forward and you will forgiven for your transgressions!” we all shared looks between each other as no one moved.

“your stupid plan isnt going to work, gabe! the only one benefitting from your plan is you. you've just conned these poor soldiers into doing your dirty work.” all our eyes moved to jeongin as he spoke up before anyone else could. gabe glared hard at the youngest boy, nodding towards the man behind him.

jeongin was brought forward to gabes feet, chan and I gave each other panicked looks as he pulled a gun on jeongin. shouts and cries came from the other boys as we all tried to rush to his side.

“no don't! gabe if you fucking touch him-”

“if i touch him, you’ll do nothing cause then i’ll actually kill him y/n.” jeongin looked back at me, worry shown in his eyes but also gave a nod showing that it was okay. standing down from gabe, jeongin turned back to him only to be met with his pistol.

jeongin jerked to the side from the force, gabe forced him back to look at him with a tight grip on his jaw with blood splattered across the side of a truck as he pulled away. i saw blood dripping from the barrel of gabes gun as he raised it again to hit the other side of jeongins jaw, slightly moving forward only to be pulled back by the man holding me.

“its for the greater good that you all be stopped! so i can bring-!” a bullet entered his head before he could finish; blood moved down his face and soaked into his gear as the gun dropped from his grasp. his body dropped like a sack of flour as everyone trained their eyes to the direction of the bullet.

changbin held out a handgun with the man that was holding him dead behind him on the ground. this shot everyone into action and started fighting the remaining gabes men. i head-butted the man holding my wrist and grabbed his gun from the hostler, shooting him in the chest twice before rushing over to jeongin who held his head down.

“are you okay, jeongin? is anything broken?” gently, i cupped his jaw and moved his face to look up at me. blood pooled onto my hands from his jaw, coughing up blood into his hands before fully looking at me. his big brown eyes gazing into mine which made my heart flatter a bit at the bit.

“im fine, lune. are you? they didn't hurt you too badly, did they?” carefully, i looked at his nose to make sure its not broken. thankfully, it was not broken and i pulled out my handkerchief for his nose.

“no, im fine. i just got so scared for you when gabe pulled out the gun on you. don’t sacrifice yourself in the future or else i’ll kill you myself, you stupid fox.” pulling jeongin off the ground and into a jeep with the boys. jeongin chuckled at my statement which made me pout.

“noted, my lune. also that adorable pout of yours makes me really if you really are a cold, hearted sniper.” he nibbled at the shell of my ear. i gave a light punch to the shoulder as i pulled out the med kit from the back of the jeep and go to work on properly cleaning up jeongin.

“but for real, don’t be a hero and always put yourself in harms way. i-we need you; the boys would miss their youngest member.” i cleaned up the blood around his mouth, his eyes bore into mine as the car jumped and threw us around.

“i’ll try not to in the future, lune. i know how much you miss me.” he smirked at the slip up i made earlier.

leaning down, he pressed a kiss softly to my lips and I kissed back. chan drove us to the next meeting spot where captain price was waiting for us to figure out what was going on.

#stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #x reader #gn reader #honey writings

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soboredimadeatumbl · 3 years ago

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This gay nerd and his rugby lad are so Soft im dying. Theyre so different from one another and in those differences they comfort each other so sweetly.

Where Nick panics because everyone seems to expect and demand something of him, Charlie reasures him with this love that is not conditional. Charlie doesn't push Nick. He in fact makes sure that whenever Nick takes a step foward, he is doing so because he wants to and not because he feels like he has too. And part of that comes from Charlies trauma and his feeling that he needs to put everyone else before him, but a lot of it comes from actually seeing Nick and his panic. Charlie sees Nicks empathy and his kindness and he realizes. And he reasures Nick. He doesnt have to come out until he is ready. He is not less worthy of love just because he is his own person first and not someone elses idea of a person. You see it in their talks, in their stares, in their actions. Like when Nick is apologizing for the date with Imogen and halfway Charlies face changes from do you like her? did you want to go out with her and didnt know how to tell me? to of course. you dork. of course you didnt know how to say something possibly mean to someone who was aching. He sees Nick. Charlie sees where Nick is aching and makes sure to make it ache less.

And where Charlie hurts and thinks that him simply existing is, on its own, him asking for too much, Nick jumps to correcting him every time he sees Charlie downplay himself and throw himself under the bus for the sake of everyone else. He starts doing it the second he sees it because he sees Charlie, all of him. Where Charlie has been pushed to think of himself as undeserving, Nick cant concieve of a world where that could be true and its so evident how seeing Charlie like that is just a slap in the face for Nick every time. He sees Charlie and loves him, loves who he is and how he came into his life to become his favorite person. All he wants is for Charlie to know, to see himself the way Nick sees him and for him to never doubt that he is who he wants, who makes him the happiest, who he wants to share all of this with. And what pains Nick the most is how he not always finds a way to show Charlie that. Cause figuring himself while in the middle of cruel teenage boys and a world that reminds him on every step he takes that he should be ashamed, he should be afraid of being this different, it means not always fully being who he wants to be to Charlie and even with him reasuring Nick that he should take his time and not rush if he is not ready, he is torn. He wants to reasure Charlie and he hates himself when he doesnt cause, god, its so obvious to him. He loves Charlie and its so natural and right there for him that he turns out to be exactly who Charlie needs. Nick gives Charlie the space to heal and know that all that doubt exists in him because of the trauma, not because anything in him is underserving of love. Charlies you like me? with such a i hadnt dare to hope for this in his eyes when talking to Nick in the arcade and Nick asking how that wasnt obvious. Charlies does this mean we are boyfriends now? in the beach and the utter amazement in Nicks wasnt that already established the last ten times we made out? followed by his adorable you are my boyfriend! im your boyfriend! we are boyfriends! And we know Charlie didnt dare to asume that Nick was his boyfriend because Ben made sure to make Charlie feel like shit for daring to not hate and hide from being gay, from loving a boy, we know where that fear and pain comes from even if Nick doesnt exactly, but we see how Nicks love helps Charlie heal regardless. Cause even missing some context, Nick makes Charlie ache less.

This gay nerd and his rugby lad have me dying, seeing in them how loving someone is comforting them and them comforting you too. Not because you are expected to, or because thats what you need to do to deserve being loved, but because you want that someone to be happy. You love them, and you want them to be the happiest they can possibly be.

#heartstopper #heartstopper netflix #charlie x nick #charlie spring #nick nelson

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myafterlifeisbetterthenyours · 4 years ago

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Accidentally hitting there S/O during a fight

Angel dust

Being in a relationship with Angel would absolutely be filled with love and affection.

Though, no matter how much love there was in the relationship, there would most definitely be the occasional fight.

A fight with Angel would be a frustrating thing, as his apathetic outlook on most everything prevented him from taking your problems seriously.

And due to this, any time you did actually have a fight, it more often then not, just devolved into you getting so frustrated you were outright screaming at him.

It wouldnt take too much for Angel to snap, you probably just say something that triggers some trauma, and Angel would strike out on reflex.

I could see Angel punching over slapping, but regardless, it would definitely cause serious damage.

After the strike, Angel would begin to freak out.

He'd endured so much abuse in his time in hell, and for him to do the same to you, even unintentionally, devastate him.

Angel would approach you, trying to tell you how sorry he was.

If you pulled away from him, he'd fall into despair, likely having a full breakdown, begging for your forgiveness.

If you didn't try to get away from him, he'd pull you close, whispering how sorry he was for everything. Promising to never do it again and taking full responsibility for the whole thing.

After the fight Angel would be more attentive, doing his best to really listen when you talked.

Alastor

A relationship with Alastor would be a deeply intimate one. With your relationship being built on romance and an emotional connection, rather then a physical one.

Alastor rarely had an actual argument. Part of that being his whole being an 'Insanely powerful overlord' thing, which lead to a scarcity of anyone to actually have an argument with.

That said, You, being his S/O, did not have this problem. As Alastor wouldn't kill you and you weren't scared of him, you were easily able to argue with him.

With that said, Alastor doesn't so much argue, as he does assert just how right he is.

So if you refused to acknowledge how "right" he was, it would undoubtedly irk him, especially if you managed to start winning the "argument".

These "arguments" would take a very serious slight against him for him to react physically.

Youd have to make some comment about something, Likely mocking him for something he'd shared in confidence.

Something about his death, or past life.

Before he even knew what was happening, his hand would shoot up and slap you across the face.

Alastor would be horrified by his actions and would immediately try to apologise. He'd approach you slowly, calmly trying to apologise.

If you pulled away, Alastor would understand, imeddiatly halting and calmly explaining how he understood and you didn't need to forgive him right now, but he was sorry.

If you did allow him to embrace you, he'd hold you close. Telling you just how sorry he was, him promising to never strike you again.

Of course youd forgive him, but even as you became close again the whole thing would hang over relationship.

Especially when he got mad, or you had another argument. The way you flinched when he moved suddenly left a pain in his chest.

Valentino

You and Valentino wouldn't very fight often. Valentino ran a tight ship and would rarely let an issue ever grow to the point an argument.

And when you did fight, Valentino couldnt tolerate loss. He didn't lose anything, especially not in his own relationship.

If you did fight, and Valentino felt like he was losing his position of authority, he'd more than likely resort to violence.

After hitting you, he'd instantly freeze up. Hed stay quiet as he slowly approached you. If you tried to get away from him, hed still pull you close, whispering how sorry he was, promising he'd never do it again.

He'd tell you how much mean to him and he wasnt gonna let something like this happen again.

After the fight he'd pay extra attention to your relationship, investing far more time into making sure every thing was good between you.

Arackniss

Arackniss has only ever cared for a handful of people, in hell or his time alive.

Your relationship being the most important to him, you becoming his reason to live.

Your relationship would be somewhat unique. As with Arackniss you really had to take your time, the Demon basically being Emotionally Retarded.

Even with you being so patient, you did have the occasional fight. Most of them caused by Arackniss' inability to express himself.

Youd try and talk about him or his past and he'd quickly dismiss it, moving onto something else.

The lack of communication would lead to you feeling like strangers.

Whenever you broach a problem in your relationship with Arackniss, he would just clam up, refusing to even discuss it.

Eventually as he refused to open up, youd beg him to open up to you. Begging him to let you in, to let him be himself.

Youd end up in tears, desperate for the demon to just allow you to be there for him.

He wanted to let you in, but he just didn't know how.

He was terrified if he lets you in you'd betray him. Or worse, youd see the real him and realise he was no good.

And then you'd leave him.

Unable to respond to your now progressively difficult to answer questions, and with you becaming more and more frustrated the pressure would only grow.

Youd get to the point youd began attacking him, attacking your relationship. Attacking anything, desperate to get any kind of response from him.

You'd grab him, trying to get his attention and like a knee jerk reaction, he'd respond with a punch.

Arackniss would be paralysed, he couldn't even breath. He'd just destroyed your relationship.

He'd try and approach you, desperatly explaining how he didn't mean to do it. Trying to tell you he'd never hurt you, never.

He'd reach his hands out, trying to touch you.

If you flinched or tried to get away from him, Arackniss would begin to break down, spiralling into self loathing. Curling into a ball he'd have a full on breakdown.

If you allowed him to embrace you, he'd pull you close, quetly breaking into tears and begging for your forgiveness.

Hed try to explain how he didn't mean to hurt you, try to explain it was just a bad reaction after so many years of survival.

After the fight, Arackniss would make great strides to be more open with you. Telling you about his home life, and doing his best at being more open in your relationship.

Sir Pentious

All and all, fights with Pentious would never be all to serious. Never really going above a minor squabble, usually over some little or irritating thing one of you started.

The biggest fights youd have would come from his behaviour as an overlord.

You being his S/O would always be concerned for him, it was your job.

And your worry would only grow as he kept jumping head first into fights he just couldn't win. You always pleading with him to be more careful.

Pentious would always concede, always promising to think his actions through. Only for him to then go off and pick a fight with Cheery Bomb or The radio demon. Always picking fights with higher ranking overlords anyone could see he was gonna lose to.

You'd snap at him, tired of it all, demanding he put his overlord days behind him, telling him he'll be killed one of these days and you couldn't bare to see that.

Pentious would snap back, telling you his status was too important to just give up for you.

Now you had always been patient with Pentious, but him basically telling you his overlord status was more important then you, would absolutely devastate you.

Pentious realising the implications of his words would freak out, but the idiots stubborn pride would ensure refused to back down.

When he went to speak however, youd quickly lash back.

Youd get in his face, tears streaming down your face. Screaming about how you mustn't mean much to him if his pathetic overlord status was more important.

Youd get personal, shoving all his insecurities in his face, mocking him for never being able to live up to any other overlords.

Youd probably say something a bit too personal, mocking him, ridiculing him for something you knew would get a rise out of him. But in the moment you didn't care, you just wanted him to hurt like he hurt you.

Pentious, pushed into a corner, you tearing down everything about him would smack you without thinking before immediately realise what he'd done.

Taking a shaky breath, before moving towards you. Hed try to apologise, reaching a hand out to touch you.

If you flinched or moved away from him, hed pull back, giving a tearful apology, begging you to believe he didn't mean it. He would never hit you, it was just a bad instinct.

He wouldnt force you to accept his touch or apology, but wouldn't leave you either.

If you didn't avoid his touch, Pentious would slowly embrace you.

He'd wrap his entire body around you, pulling you close, Quietly apologising.

Promising to listen to you, telling how much you mean to him. Promising he'd do anything for you, even give up his overlord status.

After the fight, Pentious took much greater care in picking his fights, also taking some time off, using it to spend time with you. Making sure you knew how much he loved you.

#hazbin hotel #headcanon #hazbin headcanons #hazbin valentino #hazbin sir pentious #hazbin alastor #x reader #hazbin angel dust #hazbin arackniss #angel dust #valentino #alastor #sir pentious #arackniss

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joyaphoria · 4 years ago

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the five chances you give him (5)

pairing: suna x f!reader

note: this is the last chapter! i hope you all enjoyed :)

summary: suna knew that he was doing something wrong, but he refused to acknowledge it. therefore, you slowly dropped five major hints for him, hoping that he would notice them and take action to fix your broken relationship. suna really did notice them, he just didn’t figure out in time that you were actually going to leave.

series masterlist | directory

part five: rin became rintaro; then it became suna

"oh baby... nobody said that it was going to be easy." mei cooed, her voice softer than usual. she repeatedly kissed the top of your head as you cried into her lap.

"i k-know but.." you spoke through your sobs, snot along your sleeves. "i-i really hoped t-that he would ch-change.."

it's been just over two months since you've started changing your behaviour around rin, but he didn't seem to react to it—no, he may have changed, but only a bit. it wasn't enough.

you knew that this was unavoidable, and that it had to be done. the longer it takes for you to get this over with, the longer it will take for you to get over it.

so when mei sent you home that night, she reassured you that it will all be worth it in the end, and that you will find someone better.

but the fact that he was waiting for you at the same table that you used to wait at, every single night, didn't help at all.

"where were you?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

you stood there for a second with your shoes still on, and folded over with laughter.

his heart flutters. whens the last time you laughed in front of him?

"sorry," you sniffled through the laughter, the aftermath from crying earlier doing you no justice. "it's just that i used to sit in that same chair, waiting for you to come home, you know?"

hesitating for a moment, he decided on getting up and walking over to you, although he didn't know what to do.

"y/n." he's looking down at you now, resisting the urge to reach out and take hold of your hands.

"rintarou."

now that caught both of you off guard.

it slipped out without a second thought on your end, and you were visibly shocked.

as was suna, except he was more afraid than anything else. he knew what this meant—he was no longer rin to you, but rintarou.

he should be grateful though, because he knew what eventually might come next. he knew that it wouldn't be rintarou for long, and that as soon as it changes, it would be over; everything would be over.

"were you crying?" he whispers, reaching out to wipe at your tear stained cheeks. except you wouldn't let him, grabbing his wrist in time. God—mei would be so proud; as would that kind lady from the cafe.

"why should you care?" you spat, letting go of his wrist to remove your shoes.

"because im your boyfriend." he said, although you didn't miss the quiver in his voice from that last word, as if he wasn't so sure anymore.

you move past him and head straight for the bathroom; but suna didn't miss it. he heard what you mumbled on your way out—and it had him slumped against the wall (when you were out of sight, that is)

his fists are clenched and his heart is beating a little too fast, but he can't get his mind off of what you said.

"yea, well not for long"

five words, and yet they seemed to foreshadow his future.

there were two possible reasons that you could be waking him up at 10 in the morning.

you were either waking him up to tell him that it was over, and that you were leaving, or that it was over, and that he had to leave.

turns out there was a third reason.

"do you have practice today?" you asked, your voice a whisper.

"yeah.. why?" he got up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. its been a while since you last entered this room, moving all your things to the guest room.

"oh. nevermind." you make a gesture to leave but he panics and grabs your arm. this could be an opportunity, and he wasn't about to lose it.

"i could um.. take the day off." he nods his head.

"are you sure?" when he nods his head yet again, your features soften.

"okay, well get dressed. i feel like going to a theme park."

you leave the room before he has a chance to answer, but he complies anyways.

his mind wanders to the picture that he broke in the heat of the moment awhile back—the one where you were both smiling at an amusement park, kids laughing in the bakground.

"let's go on that one!" you exclaim, pointing at the rollercoaster.

a soft grin takes over your face—and while it may not be your typical energetic one, at least it was still there.

now, suna wasn't a big fan of rollercoasters. he prefered to have you go on them, while he took the photos, but today's been the first time in a while that he's actually seen you happy, and he wanted to keep it that way.

you've been here all day, and it was already pretty dark, so they might be closing soon anyways.

when the cart had finally come back around, you and rin got on, with a guy slipping in on your side.

"you guys here together?" he asked, looking over you to make eye contact with suna.

you nodded, and he chuckled.

"im here with my girlfriend, but she doesn't like roller coasters as much as i do."

now you and him are making small talk, and suna is resisting the urge to tell the guy to shut up, and to go back to his own girlfriend.

when the ride finally starts, he feels relieved, even slipping his hand into your own.

your hand tenses, and he looks up to find a look of guilt soaked into your features.

he quickly unravels his hand from yours, settling it into his lap and looking away. he got too carried away to remember that a day of rides and fun wasnt enough to fix his mistakes.

as the ride starts climbing upwards, fear pumps through his veins.

he shuts his eyes, dreading the fall.

when it finally came, he opened his eyes and hugged himself to keep from screaming.

he looks over to you, and his heart does that thing again—it flutters.

with your hands in the air, your screams adorning his ears, he fell in love. all over again.

the moonlight caressed your pretty features as your eyes shut in pure bliss, and suna found tears falling out of his own.

the tears fell but he didn't sob—not once. you didn't look his way either—not once.

instead he looked away, quickly wiping the tears before someone could catch him. he missed this; he missed you.

when you two got off the ride later, he wonders if you would ever go to another theme park with him.

when you decide to leave, suna finds an employee walking around the park with a polaroid camera.

he asks him to take a picture of you, and places it in his wallet. he can't break it this time.

suna misses the look of guilt that slips past your face, as if it were never there.

when the car pulls into the parking lot, and you both get out, suna realizes that you weren't walking beside him.

he panics and turns around, where he finds you smiling. tears in your eyes.

"thank you for today, suna."

he freezes. he can't move anymore. he can't think.

"don't be silly. let's go inside." he's walking again, but when he doesn't hear a second set of footsteps, the tears wash over him.

"why aren't you coming?" his voice cracks as the tears stream down his face.

"i'm going to mei's. it's-it's over." you smile, wiping continuously at your eyes.

"y/n please, we can talk about this." he's running over to you, taking hold of your shoulders as he bends down to make eye contact. "we're fixable, okay? i promise we are." he doesn't make move to wipe away the tears that are falling.

you wipe away his tears, pulling him into a hug. "i'm so sorry."

he wraps his arms around you and holds you tight, afraid of having you slip out of his grasp. "please, don't leave me. i'll do anything, just give me another chance. i need you."

you wriggle out of his arms, and his fists clench at his sides.

"i gave you chances. i gave you too many. i have to go."

you're running now, and he can't decide if he should run after you or not. has he not caused you enough pain?

instead, he falls to his knees and cries.

that was it. he lost you—he lost everything.

the polaroid picture was burning a hole through his wallet.

when he finally musters up the courage to check the guest room a few days later, he sees all your things packed up in boxes.

you had it all planned out, didn't you?

when mei comes later that day to pick up your things, she finds suna curled into a ball on the guest room floor.

"suna. wake up."

his eyes open slowly, and she finds them red, his eyebags puffy and cheeks tear-stained.

"is y/n gonna come back?" he asks, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

mei shakes her head, and suna cries again.

she looks away, thanking the heavens that she wasn't in a relationship. she couldn't help but pity him as she collected her best friend's things, suna's sobs as a sort of background noise.

she couldn't be surprised—the lost of your entire world was enough to make any grown man cry.

heartbreak isn’t easy, but suna’s heart hurts without you. where he sleeps, where he bathes, it all reeks of your touch.

you’re everywhere here, all memories playing back to him like a movie. he’s reminded of you, and recovering addicts don’t test themselves; they dont stay around said addiction to see if they can restrain themselves.

and so suna moves out, running from the place that you’ve drenched in your presence.

he leaves the polaroid picture on the table.

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tcsauaskblog · 3 years ago

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I'm not sure if you already explained this in the same story, but I'm curious, what exactly happened to Donald the day of the barn incident? (I mean what broke him mentally, I know exactly what happened, but what was the cause)

Funny enough, this was one of the few times where there wasnt a catalyst that brought the event on.

Sometimes, the bad brain juice just starts pumping for no reason, and that day, there wasn't anything to smooth out the creases in Donald's anxiety filled mind.

You could probably make the excuse that it was a bunch of little things that piled up in Donald's head, that caused him to have the meltdown he did.

The bad dream of his parents car accident the night before. The rip in his good shirt. The failed English test at school. The rainy weather. There could have been any number of reasons that added up to a mental load that Donald could no longer carry.

But sometimes, the self hate and heavy thoughts are just an arm length away, always there, without Donald having to reach far for it. And sometimes you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and those mean little voices that Donald tries so hard to ignore and push down every day seem a little bit more resilient than usual, and Donalds tired, so he doesn't fight them as hard as he should. So they linger, and protrude and poke and point out every flaw they can throughout the day.

Like how he isnt good enough. How he'll never be good enough. He can't live up to his parents expectations. He can't Lookout for his sister and cousins the way he should. Hes not useful or needed or wanted and hes just a big burden thats in the way.

And oh God, how hes just so, so angry, all the time. No normal person can ever be this angry right? Any what does he even have to be angry about anyway? Hes got a roof over his head, food on the table, a shirt on his back and probably the best family and friends someone like him could ever ask for so why... why does his heart race like this? Why does his hands shake, and his vision go red and his chest hurt like he'll never be able to breathe normally again?

Most the time, he can ignore it. Most the time, he can distract himself with Della's antics and Gladstone's prodding and Fethry's endless knock-knock jokes and most the time he can just let himself be buoyed along with their shenanigans and joy. Let himself be distracted from the rage thats always half cooked in the boiling pot that is his chest and ignore the mean voices in his head and forget that self hating little conga line thats on constant repeat in his heart.

But Della had stayed after school to work on a history project with a friend, and Gladstone said that he had a date to get to, and Fethry said that one of the barn cats gave birth the other day, so he wanted to hang around the kittens and take care of the mama a bit before the storm hit, and suddenly all the mean thoughts felt louder when he was left alone.

Felt louder when he actually had the time and quiet to be able to hear them.

And sometimes the rage is mind numbing, Donald often finding gaps in his memory after certain fits reach a point that his sanity can no longer account for his he just... he blanks. He blacks out and usually comes to with someone cooing soft words of reassurance to him, to relax him, to pull him back from that dark curtain blanketed over his rationality.

But sometimes... sometimes Donald is present. He's fully aware of the red blurring into his vision, of the dark cloud forming over his head. And he has to make the conscious decision that whatever it is thats about to happen, he has to be somewhere where his cousins won't easily walk in on him and somehow get caught in the crossfire.

He thinks, if he had to explain it, that it works like how a panic attack comes on. Most of the time, its just something random, something you wouldn't even think of as triggering at first, that sets it off. But once it starts, you have about a minute to compartmentalize that

1) you're having a panic attack.

2) its probably gonna be bad, so sit down in a place that you can be safe for awhile while you break down

3) if you can, let people that you trust know that you're having a panic attack and go from there

Donald can feel the anger come on like a curtain slowly falling. Hes too tired to fight it, too tired to try and ignore the pain it cause and just how right those little mean voices are sounding. So he makes the conscious effort to move, get out of the house now. Go to the empty barn, the one Fethry isn't in.

He doesn't bother shutting the barn door, he can't think that far ahead. All he manage to focus on is putting one foot in front of the other and matching a gulping breath with each step. His hands are already shaking and his eyes are going blurry with fear leaden tears by the time he reaches one of the old broken down bailers.

His heart his pounding hard enough to leave bruising when he takes an involuntary swing with his fist. His knuckles connect with something metal and sharp and red is suddenly everywhere. He sucks in a sharp inhale when an explosion of pain blooms across his hand but one of those loud voices in his head says he probably deserves it. And it sounds so convincing that Donald doesn't think twice about disagreeing before he takes another, angry swing.

And another one.

He loses track now, but he's present for all of it. Theres a rational voice somewhere thrown in the mix that he should probably stop. That this was dangerous. That his family would be worried about the state he was in if they saw him. But its drowned out. Barely audible above all the other thoughts circling in his head.

What did it matter anyway? He was already so pathetic. This wasn't new for Donald, the kid who couldn't do anything right. A couple of punches to get some small micro aggressions out were nothing in the long run. As long as Donald didn't hurt anyone, didn't hurt or scare his family, then it was fine. He could smack around the broken farm equipment for a few minutes or an hour or two, and the few scraps and cuts and bloodstained fists along the way were nothing to worry about.

He'd wait the anger out. Let it have its way with him. Let the storm pass over and deal with the consequences of his actions later. It would be fine.

If he was the only one who got hurt, then it would all be fine.

#tcs ask #teenage cousin shenanigans #tcs au #tcs #donald duck #ask #hey woops hes an angst drop sorry not sorry #man this turned out darker than i had inteded #i did not plan to write for as long as i did but sometimes #i just gotta let the moment write itself out and huh this is what came out #welp #hope you like it anon #i wrote this on my phone at 3am so sorry for grammar and spelling #also not short cut for reading sorry for spamming your dash

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