#but that's less funny

[pseudophan]

the reason dan gets so defensive over the clothes sharing allegations is he only wore phil's clothes so often because phil thought he looked cute in them and therefore deliberately let dan's laundry pile up until he didn't have any other choice. notice how the majority of the clothes sharing was dan wearing phil's clothes and not the other way around? exactly

[eternalscribbles]

@raggedytiger so I had a uhm. An idea. And originally it was meant to be sweet and all but I don't control the definitions of names so-

[beardedmrbean]

[npdclaraoswald]

It's so funny to me that I have seen Interview with the Vampire amvs set to Olivia Rodrigo's Brutal, Olivia Rodrigo's Bad Idea, Right?, and Olivia Rodrigo's All American Bitch, but not Olivia Rodrigo's Vampire

[sistersorrow]

So today I saw a link on here which contained a bunch of different self-screening tests used by psychologists to diagnose autism in adults

I did them all and in every single one cleared the threshold for likely having autism, with some giving a 92% probability

Then I checked the bottom of the page and it says "by the way, taking the time to fill out every single one of these tests in one setting may itself be a symptom of autism"

I don't care who the IRS sends, I'm still not getting tested

[muck-raker]

--and that's why the star wars prequel trilogy is about liberal democracy's failure to effectively oppose fascism

[loveofdetail]

a thing about me is that i am so so so susceptible to the tetris effect. last night i had the baldur's gate interface superimposed over an otherwise unrelated sex dream.

[beardedmrbean]

Probably would be better behaved if you hadn't named them "Sneezes"

[beemochi-art]

Did you hear Elon wants to buy Hasbro?

[dishesoap]

the worst part about being an adult is thay its no longer socially acceptable to just roll down a really big hill and then run back up it and roll back down again. "oh is this a syphilis metaphor" passerby would ask. "is this for a tick tock". no i just wanna come home covered in dirt and scratches and bask in the the solace of childlike mirth

[ashioksdaydream]

Sometimes family is just a suicidal terrorist, a tired henchman and a kid with a funny hat

[toloveviceforitself]

Also if you just translate it back into English it gets 30% funnier. I'm gonna go do the bike. I'm gonna do my bags real quick. Charming. Hilarious.

So I've been learning French for a while and 'faire' is actually an incredible word. Like what a fucking breakthrough in economy of language.

Faire is a verb that is usually translated into English as "to do/to make," but it covers way more actions than that, which is very confusing for new speakers. because (I have realized) that's not really what faire means.

Faire is actually a word that just gestures vaguely in the direction of the object of the sentence and goes "you know." "Je fais du velo." "Je fais du courses." "Je fais mes valises." I'm biking. I go grocery shopping. I'm packing my bags. You're just sort of pointing at a bike and going "you know, the obvious thing you'd do with it."

English: "You mean RIDE it??"

French: "Sure whatever."

Like idk I just really enjoy the concept of a catch-all verb that you can just slap onto almost anything because who fucking gives a shit, you get the idea. There's a bike. what do you think I'm going to do with it.

[luminixx]

“Your mom” gone wrong. Not the right person.

this is lowkey so unserious don't kill me. it's a reference to all that stuff about his mother that I am seeing.

[adaki]

Sry I’m late, I was being held in a maximum security prison on a secluded island and they had no wifi.

[payasita]

being a manager sucks balls half the time but the cashier kids im in charge of trust me enough to dick around in front of me so ive been keeping a running list of the shit they say that makes me laugh randomly: -"guys, is it cheating if you play fortnite with your ex" [4 seperate others, immediately]: "YES" -"there must be like… infinite sentences" -"bro what bro what the fuck bro what's that mean bro why'd you say that bro what" <distraught response to a girl randomly greeting him with 'hey there big boy' in an old timey transatlantic news reporter accent

[liquidstar]

Yes, Greece still exists, we didn't all die 2000 years ago. Yes, people speak Greek. You people are so fucking stupid for real. So many of you claim to love ancient shit but can't even acknowledge the actual living culture of the people whose mythology and classics you romanticize. You keep leaving annoying comments about how you just forget Greek people still exist, thinking you're being quirky because you love ancient stuff soooo much that you forgot about the people it came from. You think about it so little you don't even realize that an actual Greek person has to read this shit, making it clear how little you actually care about the culture beyond the romanticized (and westernized) mythology. Don't claim you love Greece, don't use our mythology anymore if you can't acknowledge that we're still around without making it about how little you think about us. It's mind boggling that you'd think a Greek person would read this and think you're anything but obnoxious. Explode.