#but that's honestly a whole separate post

[foone]

TAG YOUR AI SHIT

I don't care if you do AI art, that's a whole separate conversation, but whether you are pro-AI or anti-AI, if you are reblogging or posting AI art, you need to TAG IT.

Just do #ai art or #ai generated or even #ai, but you need to tag it.

I keep seeing people going like "look at this terrible AI art" or "look at this right wing idiot thinking AI art is real" and apparently they think if they're not pro-ai-art, they don't need to tag it?

YOU ARE STILL SHOWING PEOPLE AI ART. Don't do that without tagging it, so that people who don't want to see that can preemptively block it.

This is not an anti-AI art post, and it's not a pro-AI art post: I honestly do not care if you use AI art, that is a discussion for another day: The thing I care about is that I don't get repeatedly disturbed by seeing it by supposedly well-meaning people who are only posting AI art to make fun of it. You still need to tag it, just like you should still tag a post as "gore" if it's someone you hate who got shot in the face.

(This is not an opportunity to discuss if you think AI art is ethical or if it should be legal or all that shit: do that in the comments and I'm blocking you, just like I would if you keep posting UNTAGGED AI ART)

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Things I noticed in the Play My Way music video

Also Play My Way is canon! I will not be arguing about this with people who haven't bothered to check the several people who have not checked the SEVERAL places confirming this. That said, I will start thinking about how this connects to Amanda canon at some point and just theories in general.

is it just me or does it look like it says: "Am in Hell?" just without the i?

When Amanda first says "No" to it being Wooly's turn he immediately looks at us. Suspicious.

That said, he seems really concerned during the whole conversation.

I find it interesting since this song is part of the continuity of the official "hide and seek" pilot tapes... that implies that this probably takes place before the first two games right? I mean, Amanda and Wooly are still somewhat friends here. That said, it's interesting that Amanda allows Wooly to have his turn, in-game Amanda wouldn't do this without being forced, but she just agrees and says: "That's fair."

Also when Amanda agrees Wooly looks really happy/excited? Which is strange... because like instantly once their separated he starts freaking out? Like why is he so scared anyway? It's his turn at hide and seek! The turn he asked for! I honestly think this was what started my little theory that prior to their falling out, Wooly was a bit more clingy with Amanda. Like more in an anxiously-attached sort of way. Like the way a shy kid hides behind their more adventurous friend.

I realized there are only so many images allowed in a tumblr post... so I'm going to make each segment a separate post alright?

Here are some non-image related things I noticed:

When Amanda says "never ends" the backdrop around her glitches.

I think the line "make believe that we have a choice what you play with me" kind of implies that Amanda doesn't have much free will over the games they play in these episodes.

The whole "it's my turn now" sequence is super interesting. Because like Wooly isn't really upset at first, but he actually gets angry about this. He seems to get scared when Amanda yells but doesn't seem to be afraid of her specifically.

Finally, in the ending scene (I've talked about the other scenes in other posts go check them out 😄)

Is it just me or does Wooly suddenly look... really unsettled about this question? And Amanda looks really... sarcastic? Annoyed? Did someone ruin her fun? Did she think she found some freedom only to realize she's still just as trapped as before?

Then Wooly makes THIS face. What are you hiding Wooly I'm onto you!

Also, Amanda looks really happy when she says "It is" it's us... I wonder who she's seeing. Like... us literally or? Kate? Or Riley? Hmm... I'm inclined to think since this takes place in the library before the first game (that's my theory anyway) that she realizes this is Kate. Like... she recognizes Kate. And Wooly kind of awkwardly backs away when she does so hmm...

Also this frame with Amanda looking tired and sad as she holds the hands off all the other kids trapped in the tapes (that's my interpretation anyway). OMG PRECIOUS SWEETHEART I AM SO SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU!

These poor kids man... I hope they get some sort of happy ending. Like... at least release them even if they are dead. Like their souls find peace PLEASE.

Also Wooly with Wooly's actual VA showing up late like: I'm ready for the music video! Was hilarious and cute.

Anyway I'm gonna go. I'll probably talk more about this later. Let's discuss!

[amtrak-official]

The E5 is so cool, I wish trains were real

I might as well actually use this blog for something, huh? Since I have the URL now. For a first post here I’m just going to post pictures of all of the E5 Shinkansen merch I own, because why not? Unfortunately I don’t own a lightbox, I apologize for the quality here.

The first image I posted is a nanoblock-type kit, each car of the train was actually sold separately, although the front/rear and passenger cars ate two separate versions. I also have a Doctor Yellow version in storage somewhere, but I think it’s missing a couple pieces. I should check

Next up is a Plarail! I love Plarail. When I was a kid I had a whole track setup as a gift from a family friend who took business trips to Japan, I honestly blame that for me being a terminal weeb. For those who don’t know, Plarail is a type of plastic scale model train produced by TakaraTomy that runs on plastic tracks and requires no real assembly. It’s technically targeted at a younger age demographic, but I love it regardless. Unfortunately this E5 doesn’t have a motor, but it’s got a good reason for that at least…

You thought it was a normal train, but it was me, Shinkalion! A line of transforming robot toys, TakaraTomy combined Plarail with those other transforming robot toys they also make that you’re probably thinking of to create Shinkalion. I actually own almost every release in the Shinkalion Z toyline, which this specific figure comes from. I probably should watch the tie-in anime, but I also have to finish like, Roshidere and Tensura first, and who has time. I did watch the movie with a friend a while back though, I’m not convinced it was real. Look it up if you want to take psychic damage. I’ve heard the latest season might be more my thing though! I do want to check it out.

But of course, what is the E5 if not the H5’s better looking cousin? I might as well show off its counterpart from Hokkaido as well. To be honest, I really regret not applying the sticker detailing to this version. It really loses something, especially with the less eye-catching purple compared to the pink. Also, if you know anything about Shinkalion, it’s probably that the pilot of the H5 mech, at least in the first season, is Hatsune Miku. I actually do have the Shinkalion Miku Nendoroid, I just can’t be assed getting her out of storage right now.

And that’s the post! Hopefully at least someone will enjoy reading it. I might do more in-depth reviews of the other Shinkalion figures I own, or even other figures in general, although probably not on this blog.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I always repeat it but I truly love the way you write Leona ☹️ you portray not only his personality but also his inner thoughts and how he processes information around him so well... I love all your writings but specially your Leona related works (sorry for being very much biased)

I hold your Leona interpretation so close to my heart 🤲💛 I often see a lot of mischaracterization (and I kind of get it- he's hard to decipher sometimes), so seeing such a good portrayal that I feel encapsulates his whole being is so important to me ☹️☹️

[Not sure if this is feedback in response to a particular writing piece I did, but just in case, this Leona interaction was the most recent one before receiving this ask.]

cbjddbwkkeoqhd Thank you!! I try to do the same thing Yana did when first conceptualizing the Twst characters… I try to put myself in their shoes and wonder what it must be like to be them in a given situation. The example Yana provided in one interview was something along the lines of, The poison apple didn’t want to be poisonous, but the Evil Queen forced it to. How did that make the apple feel? I want to think about not only how someone would speak, but also about their body language, their thoughts, their emotions, previous interactions in similar scenarios, their life experiences, their goals, their strengths and their flaws, how those can color their perception of others and the world--everything that makes up a character! I also aim to make my dialogue distinguishable, even if there's no name attached to it. If you can swap out several other character's names and the dialogue still works, then the intended character's voice isn't coming through strong enough and I rewrite it from scratch. If I write "You've earned my brother's respect," that's not good enough for me. It has to be “Oh, would you look at that. You’ve gone and earned my dear onii-sama’s respect and admiration. How good for you," to properly convey Leona's sarcasm and haughtiness.

The Twst characters are all very complex and multifaceted (particularly those we're given the most detailed backstories about *stares at the OB boys*), and there's also tons of content to comb through between the all the characters, main story, vignettes, events, and additional materials (interviews, art books, mangas, light novel, etc.). As a result, it can be easy to overlook elements of a particular character or to simplify/condense characters--either making them the extreme of being too cruel or the other extreme of being too kind--to make them easier to write. It takes time to nail that characterization, so I encourage my fellow writers to keep trying ^^

To speak a little more about writing Leona! It's honestly hard because you have to balance his arrogance with his lack of motivation and his depression-like beliefs about himself without whiplashing between those components. He's also very intelligent, and those kinds of characters can be difficult to do, especially for inexperienced writers. Leona works in subtle ways to get what he wants, and you have to find a way to communicate that between himself and the reader, but not give away what he's scheming to the other characters involved, who are not in his headspace. Then, of course, there's that whole ongoing debate about whether Leona would treat women significantly "better" than men (which is a topic worthy of a whole separate discussion post; I won't get into that here since it would elongate this post by a ton)... There's several things to consider when writing him. If you enjoy my interpretation of Leona, then that makes me happy ^^ I genuinely do put forth a lot of effort to capture the characters in my writing, so it's nice when those efforts are recognized.

[seijorhi]

Hi Rhi!!

I’ve been a fan of all of your fics for a while now and All In just scratched my brain in ways I didn’t know fics could. The uneasy atmosphere in the first half was so well executed that I kept on wanting to reach out to Aya for help (I might have crushed on her and wished the reader had just skipped off into the sunset with her instead) and the way the Shiratorizawa trio straddled the line between socially acceptable but weird and downright creepy at the stadium was perfectly balanced. I was slightly suspicious that this would be a ‘beta reader discovers she’s an omega’ fic but honestly the twist was ten times better than what I predicted, and the way you disguised Ushijima’s reaction to scenting Aya on the reader was masterclass.

I’ve been obsessed with all the behind the scenes information you’ve been posting on your blog and wanted to ask a few more questions. First, what scents do you think Ushijima, Semi, and Tendou would give off? Does the reader have a preference, and if so do any of them calm her down or do they just give her relentless anxiety? Of the three would you say that Semi is the most inclined to be the leader with how conniving he is? And lastly, when Tendou gifted the chocolates what did he mean by “I had a feeling, I went with it”?

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this fic, I hope you have a wonderful day!

-🐡

nonnie, ily <33

vghfdjkhfjdks in no way was i going to write a surprise omega for my beta fic, i would've been hunted for sport. also it takes half the fun out of it – don't get me wrong, i love it for the whole 'sudden, unexpected heat, oh shit' thing, but this fic wasn't about that.

anyway, onto the questions.

tendou's scent's described in the fic as cherrywood, that sort of sweet, cherry intensity with a woodsy base. semi's got more of an amber-vanilla scent going on, which takes on a warm, smokey edge. ushijima's scent is clean and masculine, musk and cedar. the kind you just wanna bury your face in and inhale. those alphas smell good, and she hates that they do have an effect on her. i wouldn't call it drugging, but after a few hours of being smothered in their scents, it's harder to think clearly. they definitely take advantage of it.

from the perspective of the fic it might seem like semi's the one calling the shots, but it's a little more complex than that. being the biggest, the strongest, the most dominant, ushijima falls easily into the position of pack alpha. if he hadn't wanted the beta in their pack, she wouldn't have been. that wouldn't have stopped semi from going after her, it just would've meant he kept all her for himself, separate from the pack.

semi might've been the one to convince him that going after the omega was the right bet, but ultimately he was the one to green light it, and when it became abundantly clear he wouldn't tolerate aya's close proximity towards their beta, that was the end of it.

as far as tendou's comment goes, it's about the chocolates themselves, and her scent. he took a gamble when he made the chocolates specifically to give to her – caramel with sea salt. it was a guess that they'd complement her, and it paid off because he was right.

[haveyouthoughtaboutcomicstoday]

[icantdothistodaybruh]

I took a screenshot and it's doing things to me I can't describe

[pestopastaenjoyer]

sw is not peak cinema like im not going to lie to myself abt that BUT. when the characters do the same little mannerisms I eat that shit up. cody with his hands behind his back like obi-wan. luke and leia doing the head tilt thing. and han and ben both pouting. please please please feel free to add more

[beguilingcorpse]

alright not to get all kingdom hearts on your asses over here but i've had an alecto the ninth theory cooking for a while now. which is that the gideon that narrates the end of htn is almost entirely disconnected from the kiriona that we see in ntn.

obviously there are the distinct name and personality differences, but there's also the big implication that harrow took something from gideon via the lyctoral process - something she absorbed - that kiriona currently lacks. i've seen some people kick around the idea of this being kiriona's "heart" because of the chussy (and the romantic implications), and i think that's a good a thing to call it as any.

if you aren't familiar with kingdom hearts, there are two creatures that can come from the same person: a heartless, which is literally a person's corrupted or stolen heart, and a nobody, which is the body (still possessed by a soul) that a heartless leaves behind. nobodies are their own functioning person, but can go through physical and behavioral changes and are usually pretty emotionless or bitter.

i'm trying not to Kingdom Hearts Lore Dump, but this sounds a LOT like what's happening with our girl kiriona. and i'm just saying that there are a lot of parallels between gideon's heart being out of her body/with harrow, but kiriona continuing to "live" (heavy scare quotes) while maintaining most of her soul because of the lobotomy and stalling of the lyctoral process. i'm just SAYING that when you put it like that, it sounds an awful lot like kingdom hearts. I'M JUST SAYING

and do i have any direct evidence for this? not currently, no. but based on what i know about muir and her knowledge of early 00s fandom and pop culture, i'm more than willing to bet that a kingdom hearts reference would not be outside of her wheelhouse. weirder shit has been referenced in the locked tomb.

if i had to extrapolate further, this all seems to point to some kind of reunion of gideon's heart and kiriona's body. harrow and gideon('s body) are in the same place again for the first time in two books. it kind of seems to me that either gideon will get her heart back, or she really won't - i.e., gideon's heart is gone forever (absorbed too completely?) and kiriona must either continue to exist in a state of incomplete megadeadness or cease being. which creates its own separate set of problems that i'm personally choosing not to think about. we can burn that bridge when we get there.

[sneeb-canons]

HMS are all emo in their own way. Here's the list from least to most.

Heart

Overall aesthetic.

Soul

Two Wuv, was willing to risk RABIES for vampirism, “literally no one here tried to listen to me.”

Mind

Tries to seem emotionless, everything you listed here:

Headcanon #636

[watchyourdigits]

danse probably has the palate of someone who grew up chewing on random garbage and then was recruited into the military and now eats MREs almost exclusively

[shhroomer]

Dude! Please I gotta hear more about your little lady 🤲

☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?

☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?

Dude !!! Always happy to see you in my inbox 🫶 ahh thank you sm for the enthusiasm!!

oh man these are some hard questions!! im still trying to figure out the characterization for some of them, so the dynamics might be subject to change. Regardless, oh boy you might have to brace yourself for this one, I fear it's going to be long......... (i havent written it yet but im going to preemptively cut just in case)

☆ Is there someone your OC didn’t like at first, but then got along with later?

that someone is Craig!! He wouldn't like Hanh at first because she's often involved with the M4's shenanigans, and assumed she was either a. a wimpy pushover because of her shy nature or b. just as bad as them lmao. On the other end, Hanh thought that Craig was nothing but a troublemaker with how often he got sent to the Principal's office and assumed he was a meanie with how often he'd clash with her friends. She'd misinterpret his direct and pragmatic comments as being malicious, and while she does agree with a lot of his points, she thinks that his words could use more tact.

However, over time they'd both realize that they had misconceptions about each other: Hanh would come to realize that Craig's reasons for being sent to the principal's office is usually never on purpose or for malicious reasons, and that he never actively looked for trouble. That, and that most of the time, his criticisms towards her friends were completely justified LMAOO. Meanwhile, Craig would find out that Hanh's not as much of a pushover as he thought she was, and that she reprimands the M4 just as much as he does.

which, segues nicely into:

☆ Who would your OC say is their best friend?

also Craig!!!

After they get over that little hurdle, they come to learn a lot from each other! I imagine that Hanh would often give Craig advice on how to talk to Tweek, esp when it comes to the more emotional situations where Craig's more prone to problem solve, and over time he'd learn how to be gentler and kinder in general! On the flipside, Craig would teach Hanh how to be more confident in herself by getting her to be more direct. Craig's honesty is also something Hanh will always appreciate, because it's something she can always rely on without second guessing herself or look for any double meanings. She can always reliably trust that his monotone and deadpan ass will always tell her the truth.

I imagine Craig would ask Hanh what she sees in Stan's gang, only for her to reply with "they make me laugh."

I kind of headcanon that Craig to be this super tall, stoic, kind of intimidating (mostly thanks to his height) kinda guy that people are kinda scared of and avoid. In reality, he's just as much of a loser as any other guy. And with Hanh being short af (standing at a whopping 153cm/5 foot), I think it's a pretty funny visual contrast lol, especially with their very differing personalities (imagine that one picture of the guy going "someone will die" and the other person going "of fun!" thats them)

I also love the headcanon of Craig having braces, so I wanted both of them to share the pain of wearing braces together!! I imagine Hanh being self conscious of having to come to school with braces. She'd probably get a bit of teasing, but then lo and behold: Craig Tucker with braces, to which no one has the balls to say anything about it because he can and would fuck you up (i mean he boxed tweek after all!!). So, by proxy, no one made fun of Hanh for her braces either! Anyways they bond over shared pain and the wires tightening their teeth <3

oh and he also taught her how to flip people off and swear at people lol. the guys made a bet to see who could get Hanh to swear (bonus points if she flipped someone off) and he was the one who ended up winning 30$ that day.

Now, this is where I predict it's going to be long because Craig's not her only best friend: there's also Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Wendy!!

For Kyle,

They both respect each other a lot! Him and Hanh both have very strong moral compasses, and often times they'll find themselves on the same side and agreeing with each other on a lot of things, seeing as they're both very compassionate and caring people.

Although she's usually non-confrontational, whenever it involves Hanh's friends getting hurt unjustifiably, it's like there's a switch that gets flipped. She'll turn a complete 180 and make sure whatever needs to be done gets done (even if it means getting into a fight), which is something Kyle really appreciates about her. Especially if it's moments where she'll defend Kyle from Cartman's comments that go too far. If there was to be anyone he'd have a lot of respect for and find to be on equal footing with (other than maybe Stan and Wendy), it would be Hanh.

Similarly to Craig, I imagine that Kyle would try his best to help build Hanh's assertiveness and support her in her studies, and Hanh would in turn help keep Kyle's cool and give him advice on how to manage his emotions. They've both got each others' backs, essentially.

Whenever Hanh falls asleep in class due to staying up late, Kyle will often take notes for her

I think she'd also help Kyle be a little less uptight at times. Granted, she's guilty of this too and is often very prone to overthinking/freaking out, where just one thing going wrong in her schedule could derail her whole day. Despite this, she also has a very silly, goofy and happy-go-lucky side to her, so whenever that comes out it helps him loosen up a bit haha

They're also both the most studious out of Stan's gang, so they often do study sessions together. There's definitely a very small rivalry between them (which is completely one-sided on Kyle's side, btw. I imagine that he's at least the littlest bit competitive over grades, but Hanh does not give a fuck lmao). Sheila loves it when she comes over. Most of the moms, actually. They think Hanh's the right influence the boys need to balance out their stupidity lol

Speaking of stupidity, they're the most likely to take the responsibility of making sure their group doesn't get hurt/into trouble. Sometimes, it's just Kyle (though those moments are rare). And smetimes, it's just Hanh who takes on the role of the girl who's surrounded by a bunch of idiotic, immature guys, lol. Even Kyle can sometimes be susceptible to "boys will be boys," guys.

She also adores Ike! Hanh loves reading bedtime stories to him and playing Minecraft with both brothers! So that's bonus points in Kyle's book. Hilariously, I think it would be the funniest thing if Kyle was just terrible at Minecraft, so both Hanh and Ike would just dunk on him for being bad at the game HAHAHA

theyre both level 106 in hay day

I think Hanh would also really trust Kyle's judgement. He's not the smartest kid in class for nothing, after all. I'm imagining moments where if she's ever skeptical on joining on one of the M4's escapades, usually all she needs is Kyle's approval before begrudgingly sighing and tagging along HAHA

He's also much bossier than she is, so she's ok with just passively and silently following orders from him (from the others too, but Kyle's especially because of what I said above). Though, the same goes for Kyle as well: He trusts Hanh just as much as she trusts him, even if he doesn't actively show it.

They're both incredible yappers, Kyle moreso than her. Though, she doesn't mind taking on the listener role that much.

Both of them would also relate to kind of being the "outcasts" in the sense that they're always missing out on the thing that's mainstream (see: Kyle always being late to the Chinpokomon trend and him going against the metrosexual trend, etc.). I think it'd be the funniest thing too if both of them didn't know how to dap people LMAOOOO so they just spend a whole evening practicing how to dap each other up, only to realize that they can't even get a good dap up because both of their hands have hand sizes that are too different from one another.

I also think it would be super cute if they bonded over their "weird" lunchbox foods (on days where they don't buy from the cafeteria). Totally not me projecting my second generation immigrant experiences.

oh and he's the type to hug her right after a basketball practice: sweat and all. very gross, as intended.

As for Stan,

they'd bond over hating their dads, lol

Because both Stan and Hanh are very emotional people, they have a very close bond, often feeling like they're the only ones who can understand each other. They'd both be able to vent to each other about school, their issues, their depression, etc.

They also both get to see each other in their cringiest phases: for Stan, it was his goth phase, and for Hanh it was her weeb phase LMAOOO (they both tease each other about it constantly since they've both seen each other at their lowests and they know they're both losers anyway)

Speaking of goth phase, Hanh helps him paint his nails black!! he reluctantly asked for her advice because she has a lot of experience painting nails (thanks to her mom working at a nail salon), and she decided she needed to take it upon herself to teach him how to apply it the nail polish cleanly LMAO

They're both also very creative!! Hanh will often go over to Stan's house where they just hang out in each other's presence, where Stan's working on a new song and Hanh's just doodling something. Sometimes she'll use Stan as pose reference.

Stan would teach Hanh how to play some of his favorite board games (albeit with a lot of struggle), and she'd give him tips on how to better paint his Warhammer figurines.

both of them are also hoarders, lol

I also headcanon Stan as being pretty chronically online, so doomscrolling, on discord, the whole package. On late nights when Hanh's writing an essay that's due the next day, she'll often text/call him on discord because she knows he'd be awake super late.

THE BIGGEST CRIMSON DAWN FAN!!! absolutely gives her 100% when it comes to supporting his artistic endeavours, and also thinks his music and the concept of being in a band is just the coolest thing in the world.

Always sending each other new songs that they like, even if they both have vastly different tastes haha

Her and Kyle often have studying sessions along with Stan (and sometimes Kenny if he decides to tag along) where they both struggle to teach these two lol

Stan's more of a listener than a yapper, but they both have long back and forths. He prefers to be the listener more often though.

And then Kenny, oh sweet Kenny.

Hanh always tries to include Kenny in the conversation, because she notices how often he gets left out and she knows what it's like to feel left out!! it sucks!! It's something he always appreciates a lot about her

And despite being a huge yapper, Hanh always makes sure to get Kenny's input and encourages him to talk more! Especially when it comes to his own issues, because she notices that he often keeps his problems to himself and internalizes all of it, and she wants him to know that she can someone he can lean on.

He also makes her laugh the hardest. And she hates that she laughs at everything he says because sometimes it's the stupidest shit ever LOLL especially if it's stupid perverted jokes

Loves loves loves Karen. Absolutely adores her presence and often encourages Kenny to let her tag along so they can hang out!

Hanh's also a huge gift-giver, and she'll often bake stuff for her friends, but she always gives Kenny more to take home!

Always her treat when they go out to eat! Especially when it's Kenny, it's not something she wants to make a big deal out of. It's never out of pity, and it's always just because she loves sharing food with her friends! Sometimes she'll even pack extra in her lunch to share with him.

Calls Kenny "Princess" even outside of the Stick Of Truth larping game they play, because it's cute!!

Both Kenny and Hanh are very selfless and kind people, and it's something they appreciate about the other.

And then finally there's my girl, Wendy!!

Something something, girls with black hair who can fuck up cartman gotta stick together.

I don't think Wendy and Hanh would be as close as the other boys, but there's definitely a strong bond between the two, for a lot of the same reasons as Kyle.

Wendy's a girls' girl!! So of course it's only natural. Lots of bonding over feminism and the likes. Y'know, just girl things <3

Wendy would be the one to teach Hanh how to do stuff like makeup along with Bebe.

Ahhh I need to think more about their dynamic, especially she's my favorite girl in the show!! Even if they don't always have the same interests, one thing's for sure: they've always got each others' backs!!

This is also just a general thing that Hanh does, but she loves being physically affectionate with her friends!! So expect a lot of handholding and hugs for everyone! (which ends up leading to a lot of funny mutual pining shenanigans lmao)

[statementlou]

i’m sorry to bring this up again, but i wanted to ask how are you making sense of harry having his former girlfriend’s name tattooed on his thigh if you don’t think they were really together? i’m not a larrie and i follow you for your louis content, but i respect your opinions, so i guess i’m coming more from a place of curiosity rather than seeking reassurance. do you not even entertain for one second the idea that you might’ve been wrong about things? that harry was really in a relationship with olivia? that he might actually be attracted to women? that he might’ve been with louis once upon a time but not anymore? have you ever challenged your confirmation bias? again, i’m not trying to attack you, i really just want to understand where you stand. i hope u don’t take this the wrong way.

well first of all you bring up the very good point that there are actually multiple Qs at play and not just one, despite the fandom's (and my) attempts to simplify things. I personally am open to the possibility that Harry and Louis are no longer together- we don't have enough info to say for sure either way about that, and I am constantly recalibrating and considering and I'm going to be totally honest, getting flat out ANNOYED at how often I find myself being like oh damn they ARE still (or again) together ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Because it seems so improbable and illogical! You think I don't KNOW I sound fucking crazy?! Absolutely infuriating, and yet there are just all these little Things all the time. Plus ofc the fact that they both constantly wink wink larrie stuff to the fandom which could just be playing to the crowd... except then they both continually take it that little extra way that makes me go oh but... you really didn't NEED to go THERE that seems VERY pointed?? But also sometimes I go well. Okay, maybe not. Since they both seem super happy at this point, it doesn't stress me out to think they might have split, the way it would if they seemed miserable and were still churning out heartbreak songs, but it's schrodingers relationship and with all the savvy they've acquired around this stuff and all the balls they're keeping in the air wrt to fandom etc that's unlikely to change in favor of us knowing anything for sure for a very long time, if ever. But I do not doubt that they WERE together, it's simply not realistic. The evidence of it is overwhelming and imo undeniable when taken all together. And the thing is that knowing one thing with certainty (that they were together back when), having really looked at the things that happened during that time, does actually have a lot of bearing on the rest of it even if they aren't together anymore. Because knowing that and having seen the way fake relationships to make them seem straight were managed back then means that when I see the EXACT SAME things being done in the current day, like they are working from a fucking blueprint, no, I don't look at that and think it might be real. I know that Louis and Eleanor wasn't real in... whenever they allegedly got together lol, that story still isn't even quite straight, so why would I believe they were together in 2020? And if I know Louis has a tattoo for a fake girlfriend why would it change my mind about a million things I can see with my own eyes if Harry did the same (if indeed he even has who tf knows)? So despite what I said at the beginning, in the end it kind of does just come down to the one question people are always asking, are you a larrie? Because when you've actually been down the rabbit hole of details that ends up with you saying yes to that question, it's like acquiring a rosetta stone that unlocks the ability to read everything else, like putting on xray glasses, and I look at what is so obviously a publicity relationship (holivia) and whether H and L are still together has nothing to do with why I don't think it's real. Like could a celeb relationship be both used in typical ways for publicity and be or become real on some level (looking at you Liam, heyyy), sure, but for this question the fact that I have never seen Harry show the slightest sign of attraction to a woman in his whole life and he so clearly embraces and identifies so strongly with gay male culture in every possible way and never shuts up about how much he loves cock does play into my thinking; I simply do not think he is attracted to women, no, and I have yet to see him do anything that doesn't seem consistent with things a closeted pop star might chose to do. So in conclusion yes I have challenged my bias and decided I'm right lol! But for real- all the time I consider that they perhaps aren't together but that isn't really the point when it comes to believing they are gay.

[candyriku]

I unfortunately find myself unable to work on my current Soriku fic today due to my mental state, but I was able to make a bit of a teaser for the next big Soriku fanfiction that will be coming sometime after JTSYS is finished.

You can read it under the cut, but TW for blood, death, and uh, general misery. This has been cathartic for me to write but the whole idea of this fic is that things are impossibly doomed, so be warned - this is not the happy fun zone.

Blood. There was so much blood.

He had smelled it before even seeing it, the metallic scent thick in his nose before he had even rounded the corner. He had tried to convince himself that it was his own bleeding wound that he smelled, or maybe the blood of something else, someone else, but in his heart, he knew the truth. He picked up his pace, sprinting at top speed now, his sneakers splashing through shallow puddles on the wet pavement. 

When his eyes finally came to rest on the crumpled form at the end of the alley, the breath was knocked out of his chest as though someone had taken a baseball bat to his sternum. He knew, of course he knew, but he had hoped-

No. It didn’t matter what he hoped for. Hopes and wishes weren’t for people that walked his path. He had been denied the right to hope for anything ages ago. When he had signed that contract, signed away his soul, he forfeited all the cushy pleasures of a normal life. He had given up his chance of knowing peace.

But it had been worth it. If it was for Sora, anything was worth it.

Standing over Sora’s blood-soaked body, Riku tried to remind himself of that truth, the one thing that he had tethered his heart to all this time. It was worth it. Even if the chance of Sora making it out alive were next to none, there was still a chance. He could still fight.

One of these loops, Riku would get it right. He would figure out how to keep Sora safe, how to protect him from this accursed dimension where everything was designed to end his life. They would break out and live a normal life together, just the way they had always planned. 

There was a happy future waiting somewhere for the two of them. There had to be. Riku had gambled everything on it.

He crouched down, his shaking fingers gently brushing Sora’s tear-stained cheek. He could hardly stand to look at his face, but the sight of his broken, bleeding body was no better. The wounds were precise and lethal, and Riku was far too late.

No matter how many dozens of times he had watched Sora die, it never got easier. It never stopped feeling like his chest was a black hole caving in on itself, his heart squeezed until it was nothing more than dust. 

He couldn’t look. He couldn't look away.

Riku kneeled and placed both of Sora’s hands over his heart. He was about to speak and begin the incantation that would throw them both back to the starting point again, but Sora suddenly stirred, weakly reaching one hand up towards Riku’s face.

“Riku…” his voice was barely more than a whisper. 

“I’m here,” Riku said, the words catching in his throat. “Don’t speak. You can rest now. It’s okay.”

He hated to say it. He wanted to plead with Sora, wanted to beg him to stay. But if Riku had learned anything throughout the loops, it was that nothing came of begging. There was no one to answer his prayers; benevolent forces did not dwell here. At best, all it would accomplish would be making Sora sad in his final moments. At worst, future loops would be impacted by Riku’s words to Sora, twisting the knife further. He had seen it enough to know what to avoid now.

“I don’t want…” There was a weighted pause. “...Don’t want to leave you.” The pool of blood continued to grow. Riku knew - though he wished that he didn’t - that Sora wouldn’t be able to maintain consciousness for much longer at this rate. He could hardly believe Sora was awake even now. 

“We’ll meet again.” he assured Sora softly, trying to keep his voice steady. “Don’t worry. It'll be okay.” 

“You…” This pause was longer, much longer, and Riku was all but sure that Sora would not speak again. Finally, with a wet cough, Sora continued. “You promise?”

“I promise.” Riku lied. He leaned forward and kissed Sora’s forehead, his lips lingering there for several long moments as he took steadying breaths. 

“Mm… ‘kay.” Sora managed. “Love you… so much.” 

“I love you too.” Riku said, clenching his teeth so hard his jaw popped. He wanted to scream. After taking a moment to compose himself, he sat up and offered his best imitation of a smile to Sora. Better for him to see that than to see how broken Riku really was. 

The all-too-familiar faraway look settled on Sora’s face as the last of his breath left his body. Riku collapsed over him, the tears finally coming, the weight hitting him all at once with the force of a tidal wave. Even knowing that he would see Sora alive and well again in mere moments did nothing to comfort him. 

It didn't matter how many times Riku had seen it. It never got any easier to watch Sora die.

[buttercup-barf]

Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.

Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.

That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.

The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.

Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.

Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.

[majorshatterandhare]

Today I, an aromantic, was getting ready to attend a wedding… with Stranger on repeat.