#but that's future me's problem

[iamfeelingthingsandidonotlikeit]

Look, i don't hate being ace.

But, my god, it's frustrating!

I hate how I can be fine and confidently say I'd never want to change me being bi, but when the question is if i'd change being ace, i can't say the same.

I want to say i wouldn't, i really do. But I know it'd be so much easier. Jfc, I was with someone for four years before they ended things because it was beginning to be a problem to them. Which is not their fault, i know. We were talking of spending the rest of our lives together, for fuck's sake, then a month later it's over. We stay friends for awhile, and i think: "well, at least i'll still have my best friend, they'll still be in my life". A month later I'm fucking ghosted, out of fucking nowhere. I told them that if they wanted to cut contact, to tell me, made it very clear I'd at least like some acknowledgement, some kind of goodbye, i'd respect and understand. But no, they said they wanted to keep the friendship, talked to me for a month and ghosted me.

And I keep thinking that if I was different, if I could have fallen in love faster, if i was capable of just feeling what they needed, we would be fine. Because you know what? We would.

It wasn't even the first time. I should have known better, but I trusted them, they were my friend, first. They told me it was fine, they said they fucking understood.

Honestly? I'd probably be a lot less bitter at them if it wasn't for the ghosting. I'd have been only bitter at myself. But guess what? Now I have a lot of anger to go around

Now I'm starting with someone new, another ace. Which should be calming, but I keep expecting the other shoe to drop and keeping feeling frustrated at myself, because of how falling in love is like for me: It's not automatic, it doesn't only happen, i need time, so much fucking time, and then i fall hard. And guess what? That takes trust, i know, shocking! /s

And now I can't bring myself to trust, which is frustrating to say the least, because it keeps going wrong. But this time it should be easier: i'm finally with another ace. but i cant bring myself to have the same trust.

So, i do love being somewhere in the aroace scale, but my god, i also hate it so much.

I am having feelings, many feelings, and it is not fun.

[lilacthebooklover]

have to do a triple chem paper tomorrow and can i just say that paper 2 is a godsend compared to paper 1. fractional distillation? reversible reactions?? freaking potable water? i think i might be in love.

[secondbeatsongs]

for anyone too young to know this: watching The Truman Show is a vastly different experience now, compared to how it was before youtube and social media influencers became normal

before it was like, "what a horrifying thing to do to a human being! to take away their autonomy and privacy, all for the sake of profits! to create fake scenarios for them to react to, just to retain viewership! to ruin their happiness just so some corporate entity could harvest money from their very humanity! how could anyone do something so evil?"

and now it's like, "ah, yeah. this is still deeply fucked up, but it's pretty much what every influencer has been doing to their kids for a decade now. probably bad that we've normalized this experience"

[anxiousapplepie]

okay. maybe creating 4 new ISAT AUs at the same time was a lil silly, but you know what?? I'm gonna commit to it! I was bored and wanted a new hyperfixation to keep me entertained, anyway! Expect more concept art or random sketches for..... ANY of these AUs, I guess! It's gonna happen, whether any of us like it or not!!

[bunnieswithknives]

I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with

[batryz]

@solangeloweek — reverse tropes (6/25)

(the sun burns out) (but) (the star will always be waiting)

Pushed out a small comic in a few hours to contribute!

Not sure if it fits the theme but the comic is basically a reverse on the 3 day in the infirmary trope. (unique to them ofc!)

Read right to left!!!

[wienners]

"dude its not that embarassing to rewatch some creepypasta stuff you liked as a teenager" the character i imprinted on like a baby duck at 16 was a demon from new jersey that acts like the humanization of every offspring song and canonically listens to scissor sisters. His favorite color is purple and his favorite pokemon are gengar and haunter. He leaves people notes with emojis on them. He acts like a beetlejuice scare actor at halloween horror nights. His catchphrase is "feeling sassy?" Hes (allegedly) worked with every war criminal throughout history and been every serial killer. even the gay ones. He ate a baby. His animal motif is a rabbit. Hes kind of based off the donnie darko rabbit. He almost exclusively wears merchandise of the quentin tarantino movie death proof. One of his biggest kill scenes is (kind of?) a reference to reservoir dogs. he talks to his cats in a baby voice. He wears a white fedora that makes every video he wears it in feel dated by like 7 years. Hes 5'3. Hes from new jersey. He hacked a girls tumblr blog so he could post about how awesome he is. He added a laugh track over a video of him killing people. He named a chainsaw rex. He torments people by playing frank sinatra at them. His name comes from an animal collective song. His creator drew his "true form" as a wolf anthro. Theres a (semi)canon blog entry where he makes the speakers blare rob zombie before he enters a room, then holds a guy at gunpoint to describe what he did to to him while "making sure to leave in all the cool parts". He has radioactive blood. He tried for like five whole minutes to pick up a bottle of ketchup with a grabby hand. Hes kind of suicidal.He can be reasonably compared to pretty much every major tumblr sexyman. His actor has gone on record saying heath ledgers joker inspired his acting choices. Sometimes his voice gets distorted and it makes him sound like bill ciphers first year on HRT. Hes basically like my artistic muse. For some fucking reason i associate the song cake by the ocean with him. I firmly believe that if everymanhybrid didn't require a masters degree in creepypasta autism to comprehend, he would've caused more teenage stabbings than the slenderman incident and more kin war tumblr scenarios than nagito komaeda.

[driftingballoons]

Female treecko hero thought process

Bonus:

[hinamie]

@philosophiums and i have been nursing the beginnings of an atla au so have some preliminary designs while we cook :>

[skellagirl]

Back in winter 2022 I started working on a comic of one of my favorite nsfw oneshots, Practical Demonstration, made like five pages, and then promptly dropped it cause I was still in the midst of Art Block From Hell, among other reasons

but the fic series recently got an update and I read it on a flight last week, which has renewed the brainworms :)

The comic's FAR from finished (I've thumbnailed the entire thing and it comes out to twenty-eight pages, while I have thirteen of those pages in varying stages of completion) but I've been having a lot of fun working on it and forcing myself to try and learn new things (backgrounds/environments, in this case) in the pursuit of Harvey Smut LOL

I thought I'd post some WIP shit here, in case ADHD gets my ass and I end up dropping it again 😭 pray for me

[deadofreddo]

Who fw my admin designs

Individual refs + notes under the cut!!

Here they are!! I wanted to give them all animal features for funsies

Romeo is a goat purely because of his goatee lmao. He's also the only one with animal legs, I like to think he gave himself them to make himself taller and he's actually the shortest. If you're seeing this post again and wondering if something changed about him I decided to give him yellow trims LMAO

Fred is a mooshroom, for reasons that are probably obvious. I don't have much to say about him other than everytime I look at his starry eyes so filled with kindness my heart shatters into a million pieces

Xara is a bird, maybe a feathered dragon? Idk I knew I wanted to give her an elytra and other End things but couldn't quite lock in on the dragon vibes. Wanted to give her horns but it didn't work with her hair </3

[littletroggo]

doodles for techtober days 1-3 against my better judgement because i love this doofus too much

[ryllen]

[inkskinned]

it mattered because when my brother asked me what if this is the happiest you'll ever be? the best you'll ever get? the thing i felt was fear, not peace. everybody thought you were so perfect for me. even i thought you were "helping me grow". i had to challenge every internal clock. make myself more thoughtful, more kind, more beautiful.

i told my therapist it was good because i like the changes i made and there's something so strong about saying i did that. the problem is that i can like the difference all i want, but i changed for you. something akin to getting your name tattooed, all my progress is stamped with fuck you.

it was the happiest i'd ever been and also the best i'd ever gotten. i would still get in the car and think what the fuck just happened.

[dailykaeyas]

A wip for now

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]

I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.

Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, it’s Raph who’s right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raph’s right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leo’s being strangled to near death, it’s a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, it’s Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.

Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.

I also think it’s interesting that during each of Leo’s near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal “I told you so” as Leo’s falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how “hero moves” are Raph’s style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.

On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then there’s Leo’s freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.

These two care about each other so much, and they’re way too much alike for their own good.