#i barely need to revise
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have to do a triple chem paper tomorrow and can i just say that paper 2 is a godsend compared to paper 1. fractional distillation? reversible reactions?? freaking potable water? i think i might be in love.
#the topics may be dull#but my god are they easy#organic chemistry#rate of reactions#atmosphere#chemistry#i barely need to revise#physics is gonna suck#but that's future me's problem#so excited for the actual mocks#(/lyiNG)#chemistry student#chemistry studyblr#gcse student#gcse studyblr#studyblr#gcse 2024#HHjhjkhHKghFFGdgf#mmkay monomers can go die in a hole#but c9 is beautiful
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trying so hard not to post each chapter of pepper&felix the very second I finish it
#I literally posted part 8 last night and I’m trying to build suspense with the cliffhanger but. but I want post part 9 NOW#however I barely finished the rough draft of part 9 and I need to revise it#but.. but peper and basi..#aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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(read from this page) | (read from beginning)
#mercy for the black ice#2024#digital art#webcomic#black ice update#three pages. i was going to wait and post these as a bigger bundle to push the story alonh#but i dont know when ill finish the rest i have thumbnailed so why withhold them#also doing some experiments with image hosting. hopefully this will not bite me in the ass in the future#although theres already a lot on the site i need to revise. aha#twitching with barely concealed rage. i will do a sitewide cleanup once i get settled with my move
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Ayo I think I passed the exam I had on Wednesday?
#the professor didn't grade it yet but i asked bc there was revision today and i saw how i did on all items and he said it was a passed one#im happy with the bare minimum bros i need to focus on other things than retaking this exam
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working on this 60th rewrite is making me way too ambitious now i'm like oh but i should rewrite empire of the wolf. and turning of the tides. and flight into hull. and the siege of big ben--
#it's just. we have the bare bones of such good stuff#and we need to FILL IT INNN#we not ME i wanna write human aus too fuck off brain#a hundred visions and revisions#tentoorose
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this is fucking pathetic i see ONE instagram post and i spiral and when i ask my mother for validation and idk, COMFORT?! she's just telling me that i can practice over the summer and improve and thats WAY more than what ill need to do and just reinforcing the idea that im not good enough AS IT IS and its not realistic to be a fucking tryhard over the summer for something i will NEVER succeed at and im crying and snapping at everyone and my sister heard one snappy word and started yelling at me too and like cut me some fucking slack im never gonna be able to complain about this outside my home bc if i did complain it would be fucking selfish (and ACTUALLY selfish im not lying) and if i dont get in again i KNOW that its gonna fucking break me and i feel like a worthless idiot and im not good enough for this thing and im never gonna get in so whats even the point of trying again when itll just destroy me
#i have to fucking work now but im a mess#a selfish and stupid mess#i want things but i dont even TRY hard enough#i just needed to talk slower last time but next year there will be a whole batch of younger smarter people trying out for so few spots#and no matter how well i practice and revise#im not getting in#and i need to fucking get up and study and work so that i can get good grades and complete the bare minimum that my mom has taught herself#to be happy with but im just fucking pathetic and what am i even doing at this school im not fucking succeeding at anything#and i dont wanna hear about how im successful or whatever because ITS NOT ENOUGH#im just a tryhard#and I possess no actual talents or skills#im sick of people trying to tell me otherwise#im just NOT good enough and i have to come to terms with that and be fucking better#if youre a moot reading this im sorry i know this is very attention seeking and pathetic but i really dont wanna talk about it#sorry#blippity blap
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[taps mic] wings are to black mages as tails are to genomes, they're just axolotls about it
#final fantasy ix#ffix#ffix black mages#not just because of the waltzes either; there are a lot of things i feel back it up! i'm hoping to write up a post going into it properly#but like. there's a lot of subtext that they are Birbous in both the xenobiology sense and the symbolic one#and that wings are associated with Having Their True Power/Individual Form Unlocked(tm)#again there's the waltzes but also vivi has wing decorations on his trance form--multiple sets of them no less#and if you look at most black mages as having been mass-produced to a template and undercooked it makes sense#they're mostly not too impeded by the lack of wings and i think most of them wouldn't be too bothered if i knew#but among other things it might explain how clumsy they are; more specifically how much they're inclined to trip over things#they're missing a counterbalance/way to catch themselves/fly#a lot of birds that are closest to the body shape we see can get around by walking but it's clumsier and not as efficient#and if it's a mobility thing it might have made their legs shorter too#idk i may revise that a bit because i'm out of it right now and i don't think they're *entirely* birb#but they deadass hatch out of eggs and instinctively adopt and know how to care for them#they don't just take bobby corwen's egg home because his mom was dead; most of them barely know what death is in the first place#and think that the mom 'stopped' and have said they think stopped people will eventually get right back up#but they immediately know the egg needs to be taken care of in a time-sensitive manner#and what it is and how to do so; to my memory they don't express panic or uncertainty about Doing It Wrong#anyway lots of thoughts about them but vivi's last name is literally french for ornithologist so Like. i am just saying#ffixtag#FF tag#black mage tag
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Hi Clam. Question about CoGR. I know you didn't have the fic finished when you first started posting. Did you make an outline for the whole fic or did you just wing it?
I'm struggling to keep my longfic together and could use some pointers.
Oh worm! Coming to me for planning tips is a dangerous game considering I change it up with every fic hdKJH
But in the case of CoGR specifically, yes, the entire fic was outlined before I started writing! Every chapter had a very basic concept attached to it so I understood what was meant to happen + how his Thought Processes had formed. And at the very top of the doc I had the entire Zote History written out so I could keep it in mind as I wrote
I also color-coded chapters based on where they were taking place, unless something important was discussed in that chapter, in which case they were color-coded with red text (hence my author notes referring to certain chapters as "colored red"!)
actually i went digging thru my files and I found the old planning doc, so if u were wondering how the cogr plan looked, well. here u go,
and yes it's in chronological precept order, meaning my plan was backwards. i only figured out that I wanted to go in reverse precept order After I wrote down the initial plan, lmao
But even with an established outline far in advance, stuff was constantly getting tweaked and messed around with as I wrote. Really big plot points stayed relatively the same (such as Chapter 47 - the plan for that stayed pretty cut and dry from start to finish) but some things ended up being added or changed as I went along (for instance, the entire grub arc was a sort of last minute decision; I got the idea a few chapters in advance and went 'hey fuck it that'd be fun to add' so I Did, and I found it made the chapters where the grub was included far more interesting than if they were never there!)
So my advice would be to make an outline but not be too hard on yourself when it comes to sticking to it. I find an outline to be SUPER helpful, as if I don't plan something well in advance I just end up writing myself into a hole (R.I.P Tinnitus), but adding little things as I write can make it all the better. So make a plan, yeas, but give yourself breathing room for changing things/adding stuff!
Hope that helps at all!!
#and ever since cogr my planning docs have become all the more lengthy and complicated to look at. which is both a blessing and a curse#In the case of Nothing Spectacular I ended up writing and rewriting and erasing and revising the outline every five minutes.#I was never happy with what I wanted to happen and it led to me never finishing the fic. Because I was constantly changing the plan#but in the case of Fluttering Wings the plan is ESSENTIAL. Because I am THE FORGETTER. And I'm VERY BUSY while I write it#so if there's things I want to happen I need it WRITTEN DOWN in that planning doc or I will DIE. So the plan for FWCT is LENGTHY.#(there's already stuff I forgot to add in chapter 2 that I saw in the planning doc and went AHHH FUCK. So I need to add em later SHDGKJH)#but I say do whatever works best for you! Short plan? Long plan? Barely a plan? Hey it works different for different people#There are people who can write totally planless and have everything work out!... I am just not one of those people! Rip Tinnitus!#ask#writing tips
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latin language next. btw
#i’m doing my best not to worry about it#like this one + greek lang + french are the exams i genuinely do not need to study for to get a 9#but it’s still sooo stressful knowing that i’ve barely revised#arghhhhsgdbfnnc#the torment the turmoil#pip squeaks
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One night was washed out with heavy rain, the next night was too dangerous, and now the hurricanes decide to just pack it all in for not much???? Big bash is dead.
#cricket#i don't even like cricket#cancel the whole lot#also old Nick caught Jack#also i left work at 5:20 after sending off a revised return and 10 minutes later my boss texts me she wants to review the revised returns??#like I've had that job to send out for A WEEK she knows I've had that for a week and NOW she wants to review it????#Jesus#also can the new guys not be assholes#ok so tony is okay he's really good and 'hugh' is much much better but the other two.....#one of them just pressures me to do things NOW like everything he needs is urgent and ugh i don't know#The other one just ugh he always mumbles at me and then acts like I'm the idiot when i have to say what?#like no you're mumbling you barely open your mouth#i asked what his role was at Woolworths (his part time job) several times and still have no idea#actually he might have said fill#couldn't even work out which store he worked at#Sophia really likes him though well she likes all of them#she doesn't know that Tony doesn't want to be doing super funds#and that no one except 'hugh' can input data into BGL properly#imagine if one of them stumbled across my blog and saw all this#god help me#The only person I've ever worked with that's mentioned Tumblr is Rebecca please god let her be the only one on here#i wouldn't even know her blog or anything i only know she likes f1 which doesn't narrow it down at all
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You people are assholes and cruel I should have never fuckin said how old I am now go to hell.
I have had to endure the most strenuous types of bullying that shall leave scars on my psyche for the rest of my life
I hope you disgusting ruffians are pleased with your efforts to torment me as they have worked to high affect
I shall never doze away to escape from the troubling thoughts now plaguing my mind from this horrendous bullying
#man im tired as shit#i should have been asleep like two hours ago.#oh fuck i need to start studying for my exams so i can actually get out of school...#its not that bad. im only sitting two exams as i know because my school is basically just giving me the bare minimum to get me to fuck off#and its art and english. two subjects i love and that I'm good at#aswell as my art teacher is really cool and has been helping me with all my other work and has posted a bunch of stuff to help revise#hes cool i really like him#he can be a bit harsh but its because he wants to see you improve and hes stressed like 24/7#he is genuinely such a cool guy#anyway night you fucking fucks#also if you somehoe couldnt gather i am joking about me being upset. i couldn't care less#honestly i find it funny seeing other people realise how old i am
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#this is an expression of frustration btw#please do not worry about me#its just.physically so hard to concentrate rn#i have so much politics revision left to do and the exam is so soon#and i was supposed to spend today revising but ive barely done anything#i feel so restless like my whole body is aching with it i need to Do Something i cant just sit here and read notes any longer#its like. physically painful to concentrate#god i already said that didnt i#theres so much to do and i feel so so guilty about not doing anything and then that mixes in with the unbearable restlessness#i cant sit here any longer reading about conservative party ideologies#but i need to#im pretty sure im gonna fail my exams or something#what the fuck is up with me
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i love thrae so much grabs you by the shoulders shakes you look at my fantasy world look at this fictional planet that i have poured my soul into look at how alive and full it is
#thraeposting#i was looking back at some of my old notes and idea and WOW ive come so far#my characters used to be so flat and one dimensional they feel so real now !!#i barely had any idea what species i was even working with and now im defining language groups and creating countries!!#i remember the first thing i agonized over was dawnbreaker's leadership#it went from the council of twelve to the council of nine and i revised its membership about eight times without it feeling right#and the other week i just sat down and laid out a solid council of nine that made perfect sense without even thinking about it#im SO proud of thrae i really am#i know this world better than anything. even the things i havent worked out yet i feel like i know enough to make them up#one day im going to polish all my lore into a complete guide. i need like. everyone forever to love thrae as much as i do
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22/9/23
Today I:
-carefully monitored Lulu and she's honestly doing so well! Her energy and mood are high, she isn't angry about the cone, she can navigate our stairs pretty easily, she is still able to slip through a (big, but I still was doubtful...) hole in a fence she loves going through on our morning walks...my girl has been in a good place all day and I am so relieved :))
-did all the exercises my occupational therapist prescribed me on Wednesday (only did a little bit yesterday) and I feel good about at least accomplishing that today
#personal#Lulu#good things#barely did any work bc I was so concerned abt Lulu even though she really was j chilling but then I also stressed abt not working#and so now I need to work sunday which I had really wanted to be a solid day off in this big revision sprint#but oh well#I'm still going hiking/foraging in the afternoon so I can just try to be v productive in the morning and enjoy the afternoon and evening of
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GUYS IM DONE I JUST NEED TO EDIT SO BE READY
ITS 7K WORDS AND I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY
here’s a sneak peak 🤭🤭
#keep in mind i still need to edit#so if that was shit it’ll be better once i revise it#also just wrote that bit and i’ve been up for ages so i can barely see straight anymore#but i’m vv excited for you all to give it a read#neteyam sully#neteyam#neteyam te suli tsyeyk'itan#leanie speaks
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#fucking hell i'm so terrified of the state exam#i'm 29 and i act like a goddamn child#absolutely fucking shitting bricks and the funny thing is that all it does is make me stall and procrastinate even more#i have little more than a week left and i have so so so much to do and revise#and i needed two days to put together the thesis prez because i started to feel like idek what it's about even though i wrote every word#that's where hungarians say 'világra született csak nem erre' which roughly means i was made for a world but it's not this one#been scratching at the fucking health system with my claws for years and barely anything changed like the fuck#is confidence just something i'm not meant to have#cuz that's just fucking shit#(rn i'm somewhere between peak raging roy kent and jamie tartt overdramatically sobbing his heart out)#personal
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