#but that's a problem for sober me

[sonsband]

god made me a lesbian because she knew I'd be a menace if I wasn't

[shirleyjacksonism]

tagging @nellslions @gabriestat @creaturecannibal @lovelaceisntdead @elcctra @nsewell @whiterthanafishsthroat @brigittefitzgerald @andreacantillos @shirleyjacksons @magicoleanders @thefinalpaperheart @elizabugz @c-dollanganger @lightsinthemist @persephonesque @prairietrashdotcom @goticoamericano @waitingroomphoebebridgers @seawilde @marywshelleys @cryptidlark @childofchryses if you haven't already done this, and anyone who wants to ♡

[angesaurus]

It’s not a huge deal because it wasn’t like I was this big drinker, I just didn’t like how it made me feel especially the last time I drank, but today is 1 year with no alcohol and that feels pretty good!!

[blackknight-100]

More Apollo fic excerpts for you all, because I'm on a roll:

Looking at Father is hard. Apollo has learnt this early on, but Apollo is also either incorrigibly foolish, or insurmountably stubborn. Either way, he tries and tries and tries; the truth is his, and he will look into the King's eyes while he gets it.

Lightning crackles around Zeus's lashes, fine white scars upon his dark skin. He sighs unhappily, and somewhere around Cretan Ida, rain-black clouds are blown away. "Why do you ask that, child?"

"Hekate thinks it is unjust."

"Did she say that to you?"

"No."

Apollo does not mention that she said that to his sister and his mother, because that was not what Father asked. He does not speak of her grief either - the King is a forge of hot power thrumming with ill-supressed rage, a rush of deadly cloudstrike and bitter ozone under his tongue - and Apollo is... apprehensive, if not afraid.

Zeus sighs again. The rain clouds return, and drought is averted. His beard droops, and the riot of spiked hair curls into itself. "It is fate," he says. "There had to be a safe place for you to be born."

"And fate is greater than justice, then?"

"You know the Fates. You know Fate is greater than everything."

Apollo says nothing. In the following silence, father and son stare at each other, picking away at the other's minds.

As always, Father breaks first. "I could not lose you," he says. "You are to be a great god."

Perhaps Apollo should be kinder, perhaps Apollo should be blind. But he is not. Here too the Fates are unfair - he can see Ares' quiet pain, he can see Hera's righteous rage. And his memory is terrible in its divinity - a hundred thousand words of fatherly love will not wipe away all those days of his mother's tears.

Or perhaps it is not fatherly love at all. Apollo is to be a great god, a mighty cog in the automaton that is Fate, and like Hephaestus, Zeus its builder cares little for who the cogs are, or where they come from. They must only exist.

Or perhaps it is just him - Apollo, the Destroyer. Under his hands is the ruin of a hundred women, and then some more, and Hekate is one notch among many others. Perhaps Apollo blames fruitlessly, for it is his father who chased his aunt, and his birth that holds her down. Perhaps his father loves them - him and Artemis and Mother Leto, and has only sought to turn fate in their favour through his ruthlessness. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. So many chances, so many answers.

Apollo looks at Father, and does not believe even one.

"I see," he says. "Thank you for your time, Your Majesty."

Zeus-King frowns. He holds out a hand as if to call out, then drops it and turns away. "You may leave," he says, and Apollo does.

[fuck-powered-con-machine]

the places he has that id put that meat flower into holy shit thats some mad drawing material this new official material goes hard.

not to be horny on main tho

[goodbyemaryjane]

10 things I learned from 10 months of sobriety

(in no particular order)

1. Feelings can't hurt me as long as I don't do anything self destructive to make them go away. They'll pass - like clouds blowing over the sky.

2. Everything good that I thought being drunk and high helped me do - socializing at parties, making art, emotional intimacy - I'm actually better at when I'm sober.

3. Getting intoxicated was a shortcut (a maladaptive coping mechanism) to silence my self-criticism and shame.

4. It caused more problems than it solved.

5. What I really needed was to practice self compassion and let myself be vulnerable with others sober. Scary, but the rewards are great.

6. If I satisfy my loneliness by getting drunk and high, I will be too busy with my addiction to seek out real love or accept it when it comes. I feel lonely for a reason; if I just keep numbing the hunger, I'll starve.

7. I have to take all of the energy I may spend wishing for others to change for me and just change myself.

8. Withdrawals were uncomfortable but my fear of them was much worse. When I look back, I felt more joy and relief in the first few days than pain. Like swimming in the ocean: once I stopped struggling and just let the current pull me under and toss me around, trusting that eventually I would be pushed to the surface, I knew I would be alright no matter how strange and sick I felt. It was such a relief to stop fighting what I knew deep down was right and true: that I had to quit today - not tomorrow, not in a week - or I'd be using for the rest of my life.

9. Denial is a powerful and terrifying thing. Nobody is too smart to be an addict. If anything, it makes you better at coming up with excuses.

10. At some point you will be more afraid of staying the same forever than you are of changing.

[schizononagesimus]

🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP

[doggerell]

its crazy to think abt the alcoholism stuff I put my partner through and Im so happy to be out of that. they really got to see me at my absolute lowest with no way to help and that makes me so sad :( they were so good and gentle with me and tried their best to find what was right for me the whole time and I really really appreciate it…

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[pyramidofmice]

Sally's apology to John really struck me as a raw, meaningful parent-to-child apology. She didn't dumb anything down, she didn't lie to soften anything, she claimed all of her actions... he was so young, and Sally reacted to his age not by talking down to him, but by finding a way to describe the whole truth so he could understand

Most importantly I think is how she kept saying that John is a good person. Like...she thought she was about to die. And she didn't spend that time asking John for forgiveness or to remember her in a good light. She dedicated her words to making John feel loved. She spent that precious time giving him something to make sense of it all, to heal somewhere down the line even when she's not there

[yurifier3000]

sometimes i want to make vent art of hrhs and my ocs and post it on here but like im also soooo shy and i dont want to be perceived by the public but i rlly be going in circles all day…

[umemiyan]

also i hate saturdays on this app. why do all y’all have lives smh

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

anyone got any suggestions for how to explain mysteriously having another blade that does not involve it being taken away or me being put back on suicide watch

[dizzybizz]

Heyy for the requests, maybe Rosaria giving a piggyback ride to Kaeya, when they go home from drinking? I love your art btw and thabk you <3

he ends up falling asleep so quickly after this lol

(also tysm <333)

[kennyomegasweave]

Ray is the worst character on this show and I hate this man like he poisoned my water supply and burned my crops. I don't even care.

This man is looking right in Sand's sad eyes and saying "but you make me happy" while still pretending Mew wants him and stringing Sand along as a backup option. He’s the worst kind of person you fall for in your early adult years because they don’t love anyone but themselves, but can fool you just enough that you fall for it every time, then hate yourself for falling for the obvious bullshit.

He really was out here trying to have Sand do his mandatory community service. I know he said he’d be there, but he wouldn’t be the one teaching the kids, which he even admitted. He’d just be sitting there watching Sand, probably after pregaming before, with doe eyes because he’s never actually worked a day in his life. He doesn’t respect Sand or his time in any way at all. He’s a spoiled brat that uses his daddy’s money, or whatever and whoever he can, to get his way.

I want to sit him down and tell him “Mew doesn’t want to fuck you. He’s only entertaining you because he’s heartbroken over Top. You pretending he wants to be with you because he’s constantly drunk and doing lines with you, when you know he has a problem with your drinking and the fact that you even do coke, is absolutely pathetic. And imagine doing all that, having Mew blackout drunk and high, and him still not wanting to fuck you? Embarrassing. He only even kissed you because he wanted to hurt Top and your stupid ass thought you won something. It would be sad if it wasn't so pathetic.” 

And if you thought this man couldn’t get worse, Mew’s been drunk for weeks (maybe? Ray's arm is fine and he's already been convicted of his DUI) at this point, is high for the first time, and puking in the sink, and where the fuck is Ray, who always so loudly and self righteously proclaims he’s the only person that really loves Mew, to take care of him? Forcing himself onto Sand and wrecking his shit because he’s an adult toddler that wants all his toys to only belong to him. And remember kids, he didn’t just cockblock Sand and forcibly kiss him while Sand struggled to push him away, he also called him a whore for the FOURTH time. I fucking hate him. Though I’m proud Sand FINALLY stood up for himself, even just a little bit, because Ray isn’t worth ANY of this sadness and drama. He’s not that cute, his hair is uneven, and he looks dusty.

Ray’s selfish actions, in having coke at all, being so fucking sloppy he's strung out on a couch at a party, and stringing Sand along for months, almost got Sand arrested. I hope everyone that wants this relationship to happen acknowledges that because god knows Sand, and the show, won’t. If Top didn’t bribe the cop, they both would have been arrested and we all know Sand has no money for any type of lawyer or bribe. So slow clap it out for Ray's complete selfishness. And what did Sand get after all that? Ray passed out alone, happily hugging a pillow.

Everyone calls him a burden because he is. He refuses to do a damn thing to change because he doesn’t actually hate his life all that much. And why would he? He’s a spoiled pampered young man that drags everyone (Sand, Mew, Cheum) down with him. And then he sobers up the next day and does it all over again. His daddy’s money always keeps him protected from any real consequences, because that DUI sentence was a slap on the wrist. Hell, even Top’s money protected him because he should have been arrested. And we all know if the tables were flipped, he would have let Top get carted off without a second thought for how that would hurt Mew. Because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. 

In conclusion:

[sparklehoard]

I’ve been kinda curious since you started posting abt it but what is your job rn? If that’s too personal you don’t have to answer!

Im a field medic for remote oil and gas sites up in the deep north of Canada. I basically gift wrap patients to pass them off to the ambulance or emergency helicopters. Right now we're roughly 4.5 hours drive from the closest city that has a hospital with an emergency room. 6hrs if it closes due to doctor shortages as it does quite often and the only way to find out it's closed is through its Facebook page.

As this year wraps up ive dealt with:

2 rolled trucks

1 suspected heart attack

1 extreme anaphylaxis case from a wasp sting

And a bunch of non-emergency first aids.