#but that's a problem for sober me

[viv-hollande]

While Fëanor definitely has worse crimes, I still think the crime I am angriest about is the burning of the ships of Losgar. It is the perfect combination of meaninglessness and hypocrisy and I will never forgive him for it.

The first aspect of this crime is the meaninglessness. Abandoning Fingolfin's company does nothing but create problems where none previously existed. Fingolfin, to my recollection, had no actual intention of overthrowing Fëanor, and Fëanor's convictions to the contrary are simply his own paranoid delusions. Fingolfin's company represents more than half of the host of the rebelling Noldor, and to abandon is simply folly. Perhaps it is a warning sign that the eldest and wisest son of Fëanor argued against such an action.

In addition to the meaninglessness of the move, there is also the hypocrisy. The Teleri specifically tell Fëanor that their ships are to them what the Silmarils are to him. Fëanor is presented here with the best opportunity to recognize that he has gone too far in the pursuit of the Silmarils, yet he refuses to take it. The Teleri specifically tell him that the Swan Ships are their greatest creations. "But as for our White Ships; those you gave us not. We learned not that craft from the Noldor, but from the Lords of the Sea; and the white timbers we wrought from our own hands, and the white sails were woven by our wives and our daughters. Therefore we will neither give them nor sell them for any league or friendship. For I say to you, Fëanor son of Finwë, these are to us as are the gems of the Noldor: the make of our hearts, whose like we shall not make again."

For Fëanor, greatest craftsman of the Noldor who knows more than any other what it is to have one's treasured creations stolen, to steal from another a work of craftsmanship unparalleled in their own history, is a crime incomparable in both its cruelty and it's hypocrisy. And as though theft were not enough, Fëanor proceeded to destroy these creations which could not be replicated again, even by their original creators. It is desecration and hypocrisy of the highest order. We know how Fëanor reacted to the theft of his own greatest creations; imagine how he would react to their destruction.

In short, fuck Fëanor, he deserved everything that came his way, and I hope his sons suffer in his stead.

I'm kidding. I know that they are Doomed by the Narrative, but I want Maedhros and Maglor to be happy at least.

They probably won't be.

Because I keep torturing them.

Please forgive any spelling errors, I am very drunk.

[sonsband]

god made me a lesbian because she knew I'd be a menace if I wasn't

[shirleyjacksonism]

tagging @nellslions @gabriestat @creaturecannibal @lovelaceisntdead @elcctra @nsewell @whiterthanafishsthroat @brigittefitzgerald @andreacantillos @shirleyjacksons @magicoleanders @thefinalpaperheart @elizabugz @c-dollanganger @lightsinthemist @persephonesque @prairietrashdotcom @goticoamericano @waitingroomphoebebridgers @seawilde @marywshelleys @cryptidlark @childofchryses if you haven't already done this, and anyone who wants to ♡

[angesaurus]

It’s not a huge deal because it wasn’t like I was this big drinker, I just didn’t like how it made me feel especially the last time I drank, but today is 1 year with no alcohol and that feels pretty good!!

[blackknight-100]

More Apollo fic excerpts for you all, because I'm on a roll:

Looking at Father is hard. Apollo has learnt this early on, but Apollo is also either incorrigibly foolish, or insurmountably stubborn. Either way, he tries and tries and tries; the truth is his, and he will look into the King's eyes while he gets it.

Lightning crackles around Zeus's lashes, fine white scars upon his dark skin. He sighs unhappily, and somewhere around Cretan Ida, rain-black clouds are blown away. "Why do you ask that, child?"

"Hekate thinks it is unjust."

"Did she say that to you?"

"No."

Apollo does not mention that she said that to his sister and his mother, because that was not what Father asked. He does not speak of her grief either - the King is a forge of hot power thrumming with ill-supressed rage, a rush of deadly cloudstrike and bitter ozone under his tongue - and Apollo is... apprehensive, if not afraid.

Zeus sighs again. The rain clouds return, and drought is averted. His beard droops, and the riot of spiked hair curls into itself. "It is fate," he says. "There had to be a safe place for you to be born."

"And fate is greater than justice, then?"

"You know the Fates. You know Fate is greater than everything."

Apollo says nothing. In the following silence, father and son stare at each other, picking away at the other's minds.

As always, Father breaks first. "I could not lose you," he says. "You are to be a great god."

Perhaps Apollo should be kinder, perhaps Apollo should be blind. But he is not. Here too the Fates are unfair - he can see Ares' quiet pain, he can see Hera's righteous rage. And his memory is terrible in its divinity - a hundred thousand words of fatherly love will not wipe away all those days of his mother's tears.

Or perhaps it is not fatherly love at all. Apollo is to be a great god, a mighty cog in the automaton that is Fate, and like Hephaestus, Zeus its builder cares little for who the cogs are, or where they come from. They must only exist.

Or perhaps it is just him - Apollo, the Destroyer. Under his hands is the ruin of a hundred women, and then some more, and Hekate is one notch among many others. Perhaps Apollo blames fruitlessly, for it is his father who chased his aunt, and his birth that holds her down. Perhaps his father loves them - him and Artemis and Mother Leto, and has only sought to turn fate in their favour through his ruthlessness. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. So many chances, so many answers.

Apollo looks at Father, and does not believe even one.

"I see," he says. "Thank you for your time, Your Majesty."

Zeus-King frowns. He holds out a hand as if to call out, then drops it and turns away. "You may leave," he says, and Apollo does.

[fuck-powered-art-machine]

the places he has that id put that meat flower into holy shit thats some mad drawing material this new official material goes hard.

not to be horny on main tho

[goodbyemaryjane]

10 things I learned from 10 months of sobriety

(in no particular order)

1. Feelings can't hurt me as long as I don't do anything self destructive to make them go away. They'll pass - like clouds blowing over the sky.

2. Everything good that I thought being drunk and high helped me do - socializing at parties, making art, emotional intimacy - I'm actually better at when I'm sober.

3. Getting intoxicated was a shortcut (a maladaptive coping mechanism) to silence my self-criticism and shame.

4. It caused more problems than it solved.

5. What I really needed was to practice self compassion and let myself be vulnerable with others sober. Scary, but the rewards are great.

6. If I satisfy my loneliness by getting drunk and high, I will be too busy with my addiction to seek out real love or accept it when it comes. I feel lonely for a reason; if I just keep numbing the hunger, I'll starve.

7. I have to take all of the energy I may spend wishing for others to change for me and just change myself.

8. Withdrawals were uncomfortable but my fear of them was much worse. When I look back, I felt more joy and relief in the first few days than pain. Like swimming in the ocean: once I stopped struggling and just let the current pull me under and toss me around, trusting that eventually I would be pushed to the surface, I knew I would be alright no matter how strange and sick I felt. It was such a relief to stop fighting what I knew deep down was right and true: that I had to quit today - not tomorrow, not in a week - or I'd be using for the rest of my life.

9. Denial is a powerful and terrifying thing. Nobody is too smart to be an addict. If anything, it makes you better at coming up with excuses.

10. At some point you will be more afraid of staying the same forever than you are of changing.

[schizononagesimus]

🎶 they tried to make me go to rehab and i said PLEASE PLEASE HOLY FUCK I FEEL SO BAD WILL NOBODY HELP ME I CANT STOP WHY DOESNT ANYBODY NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS PLEASE HELP

[doggerell]

its crazy to think abt the alcoholism stuff I put my partner through and Im so happy to be out of that. they really got to see me at my absolute lowest with no way to help and that makes me so sad :( they were so good and gentle with me and tried their best to find what was right for me the whole time and I really really appreciate it…

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

i'm kind of amazed how most of the stardew marriage candidates just want you to be their manic pixie dream whatever by agreeing with everything they like and plying them with compliments or praise or whatever (which is fine but a bit. Much) but for shane his romance is just you being there for him while he figures his own shit out... dunno why i never wanted to romance him before he's so good

[pyramidofmice]

Sally's apology to John really struck me as a raw, meaningful parent-to-child apology. She didn't dumb anything down, she didn't lie to soften anything, she claimed all of her actions... he was so young, and Sally reacted to his age not by talking down to him, but by finding a way to describe the whole truth so he could understand

Most importantly I think is how she kept saying that John is a good person. Like...she thought she was about to die. And she didn't spend that time asking John for forgiveness or to remember her in a good light. She dedicated her words to making John feel loved. She spent that precious time giving him something to make sense of it all, to heal somewhere down the line even when she's not there

[sunhowler]

did not cry or smoke weed today. its the little things

[yurifier3000]

sometimes i want to make vent art of hrhs and my ocs and post it on here but like im also soooo shy and i dont want to be perceived by the public but i rlly be going in circles all day…

[umemiyan]

also i hate saturdays on this app. why do all y’all have lives smh

[kimjunnoodle]

emotional sword fight emotional sword fight emotional sword fight emotional sword fight emotional sword fight emotional sword fi-

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

anyone got any suggestions for how to explain mysteriously having another blade that does not involve it being taken away or me being put back on suicide watch