#but that one post really made me think about it again
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Simon “Ghost” Riley Fic Recommendations Pt 2🎀✨
this post will contain sfw and nsfw content - nsfw below the cut! please support the writers!! they deserve a lot of love for sharing their fics with us<3 comment, reblog, and like their posts - gonna be real, I’d just binge their blogs because let’s be honest… everything they write goes incredibly hard
SFW:
starting strong with @tojisun! hugs and kisses, have coming home to… Simon? and some subspace
can’t not include @gremlinmodetweeker and their Ghost Icks post
@simonsrileyhusband is up next with Teen!Simon helping Teen!Reader come out to their parents
a fan favourite, @khioneee’s fic about Simon’s instinct to protect
the start to a series that has ruined me, @majinbangus’s fic about Johnny getting you a ‘dog’
from @themotherofhorses, holding Simon while he cries
@simonbrain gave us Simon being good with kids
@chaosandmarigolds was fantastic and wrote Traditional!Simon Riley
@midnight-shadow-cafe, and their big, beautiful brain, served up Closer Than You Think
our lovely @xoxunhinged wrote about Simon taking you out and Simon being clumsy
aah!! @dante-mightdie is serving up some angst with Simon and BlueCollar!Simon Riley
@puff0o0 was so, so sweet and gave us kissing Simon’s gun and Simon with a cold partner
@fishsinsareacknowledged wrote about Simon destressing with you and hugging Simon
love this from @i-love-you-just-the-same, telling Simon “we’re getting married”
hi, dmitriene actually posted this as I was finishing up the masterlist so… it’s fresh!! Simon letting himself rest
and, from @leafavleo’s wonderful blog, push ups with Simon
please make sure to read content warnings (CW) and/or trigger warnings (TW)! your comfort comes first, check the fic before you read it<3
NSFW:
is it really a masterlist if I don’t include @codnasties? thought so, we’re indulging in a little Dom!Ghost taking care of his princess and CNC with Simon
@k6tzie gave us some CoD 🌽!links and Sub!Virgin!Ghost
we’re going to round back to tojisun! I might have a bias for their fics… maybe. listing them off in no particular order: DadBod!Simon Riley, Biker!Simon Riley, Simon bullying into you, Simon Riley’s breeding kink, loving sex, oral fixation, practicing for Simon and a follow up post - toji!!! love you, pookie<3
a GN! and Male!Reader writer, our beloved simonsrileyhusband again! Loser!Simon Riley x Older!Reader, Loser!Virgin!Simon, Loser!Simon Riley, Older!Simon, size kink, and sucking off Simon
hello, hello @simonrillleyyysss, we love Ghost on your period and (tbf it can be read as sfw, but it’s in nsfw just to cover my bases) sucking on Simon’s nipples
@simonriley09, smooches, Inexperienced!Simon Riley x Virgin!Reader and (specifically held off on reblogging just to put it in here first) public sex with Simon
back to simonbrain, Simon’s depraved and Simon and his harmless bird
OKAY. dante-mightdie popped off with Butcher!Simon Riley - can we make that clear? okay, Butcher!Simon Riley being a little gross, Butcher!Simon Riley taking you in the break room, camping with Butcher!Simon Riley, and Butcher!Simon Riley needs a hand
@yawnderu wrote a wonderful sex pollen fic
guess what… another sex pollen fic from @shotmrmiller
@lxvvie made my brain blue screen with grey sweatpants, little Lieutenant Riley, and it’s yours
we all clap and cheer, it’s @evilgwrl with Simon’s too big
@ghouljams… thanking you every day for Cerberus!Ghost
b-b-b- @bi-writes! mwah, Ghost doesn’t take his mask off
another one from @navybrat817 where Simon fucks you with the mask on
did someone say @dmitriene? I did! collaring Simon, Simon being gentle, and rough sex with Simon
big brain moment from @theorist-fox, Simon’s not a stallion in bed and I’m unwell for this
speaking of unwell, @lovelyghst wrote about his Jacob’s ladder
@lvrsrequ3st gave us Simon edges you
@girlyteengirlcore’s overstim with Simon fic, wonderful
Subtle Thirst by @blingblong55, tasty, yummy, scrumptious
@maskedbyghost’s fic where Simon recites his vows is so very good
so, we’re back to majinbangus… oh boy. Simon gets a bath and pulling Simon’s collar, but like, read through the series, I’m begging you
@nighttimealone wrote some humping with Simon, love to see it
“do you think you'll kill for me one day?” from @cherie-doll
@thedivinetexts gave us Simon sharing you with the 141
@khioneee wrote about Simon being too big and Simon’s voice
@beloveds-embrace wrote a little something, too heavy? never
@musouie wrote about how Simon begs
@konigsblog served up some Bull!Simon x Cow!Reader oh my god
and, last but certainly not least, an oral fixation from @fictionismyreality3
#wow that was a lot#machveil fic recs🎀✨#fic rec#fic recommendation#cod#cod thoughts#call of duty#support your writers#sending love
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Same for both. The thing with explaining the reasons with an apology for me is part of the “I recognize how this action was wrong and how I ended up doing this thing that hurt you. I will be making an effort to stop this behavior. I hope you feel okay calling me out on it going forward. I want to assure you that I am aware of what I did, why I did it, that I am going to be working on it, that this hurt you, and that I’m sorry I did this.”
To me the reasons and why it happened shows that they understand and how likely they are to keep doing the same things or if thy ran it, that kind of thing. I’ve had someone who was basically overdosing on Xanax day spent the most horrible shit to me, hitting every insecurity I had about our friendship and after the fact *not* apologize and just said something like “I didn’t reply mean it, I just said crazy shit because I was prescribed a higher dose of Xanax than a person should be.”
Like… okay, I get that… and… it would mean something if you said “I’m sorry, I know it hurt you and I said a lot of things I knew would hurt most. I didn’t know I was prescribed higher dose than I should’ve been until recently and it really fucked with my head in a way that I wasn’t myself.” Instead, I wasn’t sure if she actually meant what she said looking back or if she’d do it again only without her mind being fucked up.
She gave the reason without the apology which made it an excuse and a “so you can’t be upset with anything I said” when she could scroll back and see exactly the things she said to me even if she didn’t quite remember. However, with an apology, I would be able to believe she didn’t mean it and was in a state of mind where she was actively looking to be as hurtful as possible rather than actually believing hat she said. It’s kind of like how some people go turn out to be suicidal try to make everyone around them hate them before going through with it under the notion it’d “hurt less” when it happens. I think of one or two popular youtubers who did exactly that, posting outrageous bigoted shit before disappearing and after hearing they killed themselves, it clicked that’s what they were doing.
As for the telling a story for how thy relate (as I did above actually lol) it’s like… “listen here’s a thing I went through… to me it sounds like what you’re going through, so I hope what I did to get through it helps or if talking to someone who might understand better makes you feel okay talking about this.”
It’s like… it adds some weight or legitimacy to what the person you’re talking to is saying for me. I’d be more likely to take their advice or reflect on how I handle or perceive it vs how they might have. When someone isn’t grasping at all what you’re saying, it turns into defending why you’re feeling and going through rather than being able to just… talk about it.
Idk, been thinking on the nuance of this for a while. I like reasons, I like getting an idea on if this will happen again or not. There’s just a lot of “depends on the person/situation” tho.
#apologies explanations and reasons#interesting stuff#it doesn’t even have to be lengthy#at work I’ve apologized for shit#and as a follow up to days ago conversations#just saying ‘I’ve thought about it had something explained to me I completely forgot this thing we don’t normally do you were right”#and they do say “eh you don ave to apologize”#but I still want to own that i was wrong rather than have them think I’ll never consider why they say seriously
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Our Song I
m.sturniolo
Summery: When you receive a DM from nick asking you about doing a collaboration with them you cant help but say yes!
THIS IS MY WORK AND MY IDEA! PLEASE DONT USE THIS AS “INSPIRATION” OR TAKE IT WITHOUT GETTING MY PERMISSION FIRST! thank you :)
AN: this is part one of the series “our song” if you would like to know more about “y/n” you can use the mood board! Enjoy :)
Y/N POV
You’re sitting at your desk editing the newest YouTube video you plan to put out. Music is playing in the background as you zone out into your computer. Your phone dings, pulling you out your computer to see who might have messaged you.
Your heart skips a beat when you see “nicolassturniolo sent you a message” in your notification stack. You’ve been a fan of the sturniolo triplet since what felt like forever, and now Nick is messaging you on instagram. You’re in such a state of shock as you open the message, hands trembling as you read what it says;
“Hello, Me, Matt and Chris have come across your YouTube channel and we’re wondering if you want to collab with us sometime in the future….”
Flash Back Two Weeks Ago…
You had just finished editing a YouTube video to post, hitting the post button you close your computer and lay down to take a nap. Expecting the usual few hundred comments and likes when you wake up in a few hours.
Boy were you wrong… A few hours go by and you wake up and see that your video has blown up, thousands of views, thousands of comments, and thousands of new subscribers. Your eyes scan your phone “congratulations on 1 MILLION subscribers” was in your email.
“OH! MY! GOD!” You screamed out, alerting your parents who happened to be downstairs, to hear you. Jumping up and out of bed, starting to exit your room, stepping over piles of books and clothes.
“Y/N? Are you okay!?” You can hear your mother frantically call up to you while walking up the stairs.
“I HIT A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS!” You say excitedly while meeting her in the hallway…
Back to the present…
“Oh. my. god…” you say quietly, fingers hovering over your screen, scared that if you hit anything this will all be a figment of your imagination. Clicking on the notification you hold your breath as your phone unlocks and opens instagram… this is no figment of your imagination. This is real life and the triplets really want to collaborate with you.
You let out a few more silent “omgs” before heading downstairs to talk to your mom about all of this. You exit your room and walk down the stairs, “Momma?” You say softly as you round the corner into the kitchen.
“Yeah sweetie?” Your mom says as she’s washing the dishes. You sit on a small stool on the floor before you talk again, petting your cat, nugget, that was by your feet.
“I got a message from Nick Sturniolo, asking if I wanted to collaborate with them,” you can hear the excitement in your voice as you tell your mom. Your mom also knows that you’ve been a fan, and practically obsessed, with these three boys since high school and have always wanted to meet them one day.
“You did? That’s great honey, what did you say?” She asks turning the sink off and turning to face you.
“I didn’t answer yet.. I'm honestly scared because what if they change their minds?” You explain to your mom with a nervous chuckle. Your cat had now made its way up onto your lap, purring loudly.
“I think you should do whatever you want, just know that a flight out to LA might be expensive.” You took your mom’s words to heart and gave her a small nod.
“I want to go out and meet them, a collaboration would help me so much.. maybe if I get a little more information then I’ll be able to see if I can afford it or not,” you explained back to your mom, pulling your phone out to DM Nick back.
“I would love to collab with you guys one day! That has been an absolute dream of mine forever. I would love to share some more information about when and where if possible.” You hit send with slightly shaky fingers before talking to your mom again, “I just messaged him back, I asked him for some more details on when and where we would collab”
“Okay sweetie,” your mom says softly before returning to whatever she was doing in the kitchen, before you came out there to talk to her. You give your cat a few more pets before standing and going back into your room, waiting for Nick to message you back with more details surrounding this possible future collaboration…
Matts POV
“Did you ask her yet?” Matt was sitting next to Nick looking over at his phone. Matt had seen your YouTube video and thought you were the most beautiful, funny, and relatable person on the internet, and he knew right then and there he needed to meet you.
He had asked Nick and Chris what they thought of some of your YouTube videos, hinting at the idea of a collaboration with you. Saying and pointing out things that would hopefully catch his brother's attention and make them also want to meet you, just maybe not for the same reason.
Matt would find himself scrolling through your instagram when he was bored, careful not to like any of your posts, wanting to keep you out of his fans stalking obsessions before he could even properly meet you. Thumbs carefully scrolling on TikTok as he watches every video you’ve made on there, watching how every video is a little different.
“Yes Matt, I did ask her,” Nick says with a slight eye roll, becoming tired of his brother’s constant asking. Nick's phone dings lightly, alerting that someone messaged him, the someone being you. Nick opens instagram and the messages that the two of you have sent back and forth. Matt's eyes scan the screen quickly, not caring that he might be invading some privacy of his brothers.
Matt's eyes land on the words, “I would love to collab with you guys one day! That has been an absolute dream of mine forever…” and he immediately becomes happier, his smile widening and eyes seem to sparkle and little more.
Nick sends you a quick DM back, asking if regular texting would be easier to send information through and that the collab would be sometime within the next two months. “I can’t believe she said yes!” Matt explains to Nick, his excitement evident in his tone.
“I didn’t think she would say no,” Nick says calmly, typing out his phone number to send to you…
AN: i hope you enjoyed this first part! If you would like to be on the tag list for this series comment on this post! Just asking to be added and i will do so :) feed back and thoughts are always welcome!
All boarders are from @issysh3ll
#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo fluff#matt sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo#matt#matt sturniolo smut#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#the sturniolo triplets#y/n x Matt sturniolo
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₊˚ʚ Rain in the woods (Ford Pines x fem!reader) ₊˚✧ ゚.
part 2 | part 1
author note: hey friends, so im sorry for taking so long, i wanted to post it this Saturday but i got lots of work, it's not proofread so I'm so so so sorry for any mistakes, i promise ill fix them a bit later!
also im working on some pre portal stan x reader x ford fic and it's filled with what we love the most - glass and angst (smut included!!), i know i always say it, but im so excited to share it with you guys <3
nsfw, minors dni
Stanford Pines — the enigmatic genius who’s always just beyond your reach, a mind so vast, it feels like trying to grasp the stars. You should be focused, but your gaze keeps flicking back to him. You’re utterly captivated, heart racing, mind spinning.
And then it happens. One moment, you're holding the mug, your fingers curled around it and the next it slips. No! The mug tumbles from your grasp, its ceramic form hitting the floor with a sharp, brutal crack that echoes through the room. You watch in helpless horror as it shatters into a thousand pieces, each fragment piercing the silence like a blade through your chest.
Your heart skips, thundering in your ears, and your face goes hot with embarrassment, an awful flush spreading across your skin as you turn your wide, panicked eyes toward Ford. His gaze meets yours, a mix of surprise and concern, but it’s his calm that gets you.
“Oh shit—” your voice cracks and you curse yourself silently, mortified. Of course, you would screw up right now, in front of him. Stanford fucking Pines, the man whose brilliance makes your own thoughts feel clumsy, an intellectual giant, and here you are, tripping over a damn mug. The pieces of it seem to scatter in slow motion, like a dream you can’t wake up from. You’re so stupid. You feel so stupid.
“I’m sorry— I'm so sorry,” you ramble, desperate to somehow undo the mess, your hands trembling at your sides. You want to sink into the floor, disappear, fade away. How could you be this careless?
But then Ford takes a step forward, and everything inside you freezes. His eyes are soft, so much softer than you expected, softer than anyone else’s gaze ever could be. He’s not angry, not even irritated. Instead, he’s. . . calm. “Hey, it’s alright,” he says, a chuckle escaping him, as though the whole situation is laughable, as though you’re not standing there, mortified in front of him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve dealt with worse. Trust me.”
For one second, everything really seems to slow down as his words sinks into you like a balm. You believe him. It’s impossible to not. He’s seen everything and here you are, worrying over a broken mug.
“Im really sorry,” you stammer again, caught off guard by the softness in his tone, the tenderness in his gaze. What did you expect? That he’d scold you, dismiss you? But no. He’s calm, like this minor catastrophe is nothing. As if nothing could rattle him, as if you, standing there like a fool, didn’t matter at all.
Stanford laughs. “You know, after all I’ve been through, interdimensional beasts, curses, that damn triangle demon, a shattered mug would be nothing. So don’t apologize.” his eyes meet yours. “Im not made of glass. It takes more than a broken cup to rattle me.”
And then his voice lowers with that quiet authority. “Sit down,” he commands softly. “I’ll handle this. Don’t want you getting hurt.”
You can’t help it. His voice sounds so low, commanding, yet laced with something so tender it makes your skin tingle. The words come easy from his lips, but when they’re aimed at you, they tear through you. They make you feel like you’re something precious, something to be cared for, protected. But more than that, a part of you craves to be held by him, right now, right in this moment. To be pressed back into the cushions of the sofa, feeling the strength of his arms, making you feel like you’re the only one in his world.
You’re not just obeying his words, you’re aching to obey.
That’s why without thinking, you sink into the soft cushions. And shit, there he is — bending down, his bare chest covered with scars still glistening from the rain, droplets make you ache. They fucking shimmer on his skin, taunting you, daring you to touch him, taste him, make him yours. Every inch of him is fucking perfect. God, how are you even supposed to think straight when he looks like that? Your body is screaming for him, for his touch, for everything.
You try to look away. You can’t. His broad shoulders, his strong fucking arms, his hard chest. It’s too much. He’s a fucking masterpiece and all you want is for him to paint you in ways you can’t even process yet. Your body betrays you, again, that warmth spreading low in your belly, growing. You cross your legs, trying to hide the desperate need that’s already pooling between them. Fuck, how are you supposed to calm this down? It only gets worse.
He’s everything you’ve ever wanted and it’s all laid out in front of you, impossible to ignore. His every movement is so natural, so fucking sexy, it makes your pulse race. You just know he can make you feel things you didn’t even know your body was capable of.
You’re trying to calm yourself, really, you are.
You cross and uncross your legs again, desperate to release some of the tension building between your thighs, but it only makes it worse. Fuck, why is this so hard? Every thought you have is consumed with him, with what he could do to you, what he should do to you. And the more you try to control it, the more your body betrays you.
You need to touch yourself, but you’re stuck, just waiting, consumed by the need for him.
And then, the thoughts take over completely.
You’re delusional to the point where you feel his hands on your legs, parting them, spreading you wide. You imagine him on his knees, lowering his head, his lips tracing the inside of your thighs, so fucking gentle, so goddamn slow, as he watches you with those eyes, sharp, hungry, possessive. And then, he presses his tongue to your clit, licks you like you’re the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted, making you whine for him.
You bite down on your lip, trying to hold it back, but it’s impossible. You need him. You want him between your legs, fucking you so deep you can’t think straight, making you beg for it. Fuck, what would he say? “That’s it, baby. . . just like that… good girl, taking what I give you. . .” the words seeping into your skin like a drug you can’t quit.
You bite down hard on your lip, desperate to keep quiet, but your body is louder than you’ll ever be. Fuck, your body’s soaking through, your pussy throbbing for his touch, and all you can do is stare at him, mesmerised. His body is a goddamn work of art, and you want to trace every inch of it, feel it on top of you, pushing inside you, taking you.
It’s so fucking embarrassing, but you can’t stop it. Your body’s so ready for him, for his hands, for his cock. You can almost taste him, can almost feel his cock sliding inside you, filling you so nice.
Fuck, any writer of erotic novels would envy your imagination. The thought of him getting rough with you, pushing you down into the cushions, fucking you into the sofa until you can’t think, can’t breathe. “You’re mine now, sweetheart. Mine to fuck whenever I want. You belong to me.”
The thought of him pounding into you, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you closer, makes you want to lose your mind. You just want to hear him growl your name as he fucks you like you’re the only thing that matters.
And you know you’ll let him. Let him claim you, take you apart, until you’re nothing but a mess of pleasure, a good girl begging for more.
“Hey,” Ford’s voice drags you back into reality, unwantedly. Your heart stutters in your chest as you blink, trying to focus on anything other than the way your body’s still burning, aching for him. He’s looking at you, brows furrowed, the concern on his face so fucking intense it almost makes you want to tell him everything you’re feeling, right here, right now. But you can’t. God, you can’t. Not when the way he looks at you like that.
“Are you alright? You don’t look too well.” his voice is full of worry, but there’s that edge of guilt creeping in as he mutters, “I really should’ve checked the forecast before dragging you out in this mess. . . feels like a bit of a fool for that.” his fingers are rubbing the back of his neck in that shy way he does, that little sign of guilt that makes your stomach clench in a way that’s too much to handle.
But it’s his fucking proximity that’s driving you wild. He’s so close now, standing there shirtless, looking like some goddamn wet dream come to life. You can’t focus on anything but his body, the way the rainwater trails down his skin, glistening so beautifully. Fucking fuck.
“No, Ford, im absolutely okay, I swear—”
“Hold still,” Ford commands and that’s when you feel his hand so damn warm against your forehead, sending a shockwave of need straight through you. His touch is too fucking soft and yet it feels like it’s scorching you. Or maybe it’s just the fact that you’re so goddamn horny your body’s reacting to the smallest contact.
You try to calm yourself, try to act normal, but it’s too fucking hard. You force a weak smile. “I told you, I— I’m fine,” you answer, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue. It’s all you can do to not let the truth slip. You want to scream it, how much you need him, how much you ache for him right now, but you don’t. Not yet. Never probably.
Ford’s brows knit tighter together and his eyes lock onto yours. He’s not fooled, not for a second. “You’re lying. Don’t try to brush it off. If you’re not feeling well, you need to tell me.”
The urge to confess everything is unbearable. You want to tell him you’re not sick, you’re just fucking drenched in need, that’s all! Aching for him to pull you into his arms, to kiss you until you can’t breathe. But instead, you do the only thing you can do: you force a nervous laugh, a weak attempt to play it off.
“No, I swear I’m fine! I could go on a thousand more anomaly hunts with you!” the words spill out with a little too much enthusiasm, a little too much frenzy and you pray to whatever god is listening that it’s enough to get him off your case.
Ford’s eyes narrow and he crosses his arms, still towering over you, still so close
Man, just step back or I'll pounce on you and eat you.
“Cold rain can do a lot more damage than you think. You could’ve caught something serious, and ignoring it won’t help. Do you have any idea how quickly a fever can develop if you’re already run down?”
Oh no, his voice shifts into that familiar, lecturing tone, the kind that makes you want to both roll your eyes and lean in closer to hear more.
When he says something about cold exposure affecting the immune system, you should be paying attention. You try to focus on his words, but it’s hard when he’s standing there — half naked, with his chest on full display, his messy hair slightly wet from the rain. God, he's just so fucking handsome. The serious, worried look in his eyes makes you weak and you can’t help but sink a little deeper into the sofa.
Just as Ford’s lecture hits a peak, the door swings open with a loud bang and Stanley Pines strolls in, halting mid-step as his eyes zero in on the scene before him. Ford, half-naked, standing too close for comfort, and you, perched on the sofa with that nervous smile plastered across your face.
Stan’s grin stretches wide, clearly loving the situation as he leans casually against the doorway. His eyes flick between you and Ford, then he gives Ford an exaggerated once-over, raising an eyebrow at his lack of turtleneck. “Well, ain’t this cozy,” he drawls sarcastically, giving a smirk that only widens when he spots Ford’s obvious discomfort. “Ya know, Sixer, when I said ‘show the girl a good time,’ I didn’t mean literally strip down to do it.”
Ford’s eyes snap toward his brother, his mouth twitching in a way that’s almost a grimace. His posture straightens, arms crossing defensively as he glares at Stan. “Stanley, really? Must you always reduce everything to your level? She dropped a mug and I was helping her avoid a mess. You wouldn’t understand, but maybe try acting your age for once.”
“Hey, all I’m sayin’ is, if ya plan on gettin' cozy, maybe take it to a couch that ain’t mine.” Stanley’s gaze slides over to you, flashing a wink. “But if you’re lookin' for company, darlin’, I’m more than happy to—“
Before you can let the awkwardness spread more, you spring into the conversation, desperate to steer it somewhere less humiliating. “Stan, actually, Ford was just helping me to—” you force a friendly smile, trying to make light of the situation.
Stan laughs like he’s heard it all before. “Sure thing, toots. But between you and me. . . you’re doin’ a hell of a job of keepin’ my brother here on his toes. Haven’t seen him all riled up like this since. . . well, ever.” your heart thump so loudly in your chest, you’re sure everyone can hear it.
Ford’s jaw clenches so tight, you can practically hear his teeth grinding, but he doesn’t look away from Stan. The vein in his neck starts to twitch.God, it’s almost painful how much he wants to just end this conversation, end this moment, and pull you somewhere private, somewhere safe, where he can have you all to himself, but he doesn’t. “Stan, enough. We have an anomaly to inspect. Something I’d actually prefer not to delay any longer.”
Stan lets out a low whistle, clearly enjoying every second of Ford’s discomfort. “Yeah, yeah. Go on, Sixer, run off to your little projects. Just don’t forget there’s a real world out here, alright?” he gives you a quick nod, still smirking. “and you, don’t let him lock you in his lab too long, sweetheart.”
***
Grumpy Ford. The kind of irritated, scowling Ford you never realized you’d find so irresistibly enticing. That brooding frustration, that laser-sharp focus, you can’t help but imagine all that intensity turned on you, directed into every inch of your body.
God, if he just shoved you back onto that workbench right now, you’d let him. You wouldn’t care if his precious equipment went crashing to the floor, wouldn’t even flinch at the thought of papers and tools scattering everywhere. All you want is him, his body pinning you down, hands gripping you like you’re the anomaly he’s desperate to dissect, figure out, devour.
Holy shit, you want him to push you up against that wall, pin you down until you’re writhing underneath him, his body grinding against yours, every bit of that frustration poured right into you.
Slick heat building between your thighs as you watch him, the way he moves around his lab, muttering in frustration as he punches numbers into some device, brows knitted in that fierce focus. And all you can do is want his hands on your hips, his mouth on your neck, his cock driving into you like you’re all he’s thinking about.
“The rain seems to have masked the anomaly’s energy signature. I suspect it might be due to ionization in the— are you even listening?”
His voice snaps you back, he’s tearing right through your flimsy attempts at focus with that intense gaze of his, as if seeing everything you’re thinking. You offer him a small, sheepish smile. “Of course I am! Gravity, paranormal. . . s-signatures, right?” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your eyes keep drifting over his body, your ache throbbing inside, thighs pressing together as he stands there, so close you could reach out, slip your fingers through the fabric of his clothes, feel the warmth of his skin.
Ford lets out a soft, exasperated sigh. “Honestly, you’re as distractible as Stan.”
He turns away, but your eyes don’t leave him. Instead, you let your gaze slide over the room, until something catches your eye. A strange, helmet-like device bristling with wires and so, without thinking, you ask, “Hey, what’s that thing?”
Ford’s gaze follows yours, his expression changes as he considers whether to answer. “That’s a thought-reading device. Designed to access certain mental frequencies,” he explains, stepping closer to it and closer to you. “It can pick up surface thoughts. . . theoretically, anyway. I was working on it before I. . . uhm, it’s meant to strengthen and protect someone’s mental processes. Block out. . . certain entities from gaining access to their mind.”
A mind-protective device. Of course, he’d build something like that. It’s so him, his beautiful mix of intellect, caution, that underlying fear of what he’s seen, what he’s had to fight.
“So, it could let me peek into that brilliant mind of yours?” it’s a playful a tease, mostly. But inside you just ache to know, to wonder, to feel his thoughts. Would he think about you. even once, in the same filthy, breathless way you think about him?
Stanford grins. “In theory, yes, but it’s hardly necessary. My mind is. . . complex, too complicated for most people to understand."
And then, suddenly, unexpectedly, Ford lifts the machine, his grin is bigger. “Why don’t you try it on?”
Your heart slams against your chest and panic sears through you, cutting under your carefully held composure. Oh god. No. No, no, no. Every filthy thought, every desperate image of him, of those long, deft fingers tracing down your skin, of his mouth, his hands, of him pinning you down and splitting you open on his cock, of moaning his name until you can’t breathe. All of it, laid bare, displayed for him to see?
You choke down the crazy urge to run, instead forcing yourself to laugh. “Why, Professor Pines, are you doubting my integrity?” you counter, flashing him a daring smirk, praying it’s enough to distract him from the heat that’s burning its way up your cheeks.
Ford chuckles in response. “Integrity?” he repeats, his tone mocking. “No. But curiosity? Oh, absolutely. I think it would be enlightening to see what actually goes on behind that amused little expression of yours.”
“There’s nothing interesting in my mind,” but your words barely sound convincing to you, let alone to him.
Ford tilts his head, arching his brow in that all-too-familiar, skeptical way that makes you want to simultaneously squirm and melt. “Oh really? You know, most people would be thrilled to test out new technology. But you. . . you’re avoiding it like it’s some kind of torture device.”
“Oh, yeah, you know,” a poor attempt at casual. “I just. . . don’t wanna risk, you know, brain cells or something.” you resist the urge to roll your eyes. God, please just buy it. . .
Ford’s laughter rumbles and by the look on his face, you know he doesn’t quite believe you. But, mercifully, he lets it slide. “Alright, alright,” he relents. “I’ll spare you. This time.”
***
The rest of the evening is a haze of Ford’s intense meticulous rambling as you both sit tucked away in the quiet of his lab, soft lamp light casting warm shadows that stretch over the various gadgets, books, and uncharted maps sprawled out on every available surface, his domain, the world he’s always losing himself in.
He’s explaining again, his words so precise about the anomaly you saw earlier today. His voice rises with each detail, the way the rain altered it, how it vanished before either of you could even think to grab it. You should be focused, but his beautiful voice turns into a lullaby. Your eyelids grow heavy, your body sinking deeper into the chair.
And Ford notices.
The way your head tilts too far, your eyes fluttering closed just a little too long. He’s not as lost in his thoughts as he likes to think. His gaze sharpens, flicking to you with that careful, assessing precision he’s always had. He sees that quiet exhaustion in the way your posture slumps, the way your breath catches unevenly as your body fights against the pull of sleep.
His voice softens. “You’re exhausted,” he murmurs. “Of course you are. . . It’s too late. Go, get some rest. This. . . all of this will still be here tomorrow.”
A sigh tries to escape your chest before you can stop it. You want to protest, to stay longer, to pass just little bit more time with him. But the way he looks at you makes the words die before they can leave your lips. There's something unspoken in his eyes, a quiet concern mixed with that stubborn, unyielding sense of responsibility.
You try to stifle a yawn, your hand reaches out, fingers brushing the fabric of his sleeve, as if the touch might change his mind. “Maybe. . . maybe just a bit longer?” however even your own voice sounds tired.
His answer is gentle but final. “No. You need to sleep. I’ll be here, as always.”
You don’t argue. When you step away, you catch one last glimpse of him, standing amidst the piles of notebooks, the soft light casting shadows along the lines of his face, catching the silver in his hair in a way that’s so painfully beautiful so you let yourself stay a little longer before you close the door.
***
The silence that reigns in the room after you leave feels like a huge, endless void that stretches to all corners of the laboratory and suffocates in its stillness. Ford exhales slowly, a sigh caught between frustration and something deeper he can’t quite name. His gaze lingers on the door, where you disappeared through just moments ago, soft sound of your footsteps still echoing in his mind. God, he’s such a fool, he thinks, fingers pressing to the bridge of his nose, rubbing at the ache that’s been building inside him ever since you spoke those soft words, just a little longer.
He couldn’t stop it, couldn’t ignore it. The way you leaned in, hanging onto his every word, as if he were something more than he really was, something beyond the man who hides behind his work, behind his mind. The weight of your trust presses on him and with it comes the unbearable pressure of knowing he doesn’t deserve it.
And God, he tries to keep himself restrained. He tells himself that this is madness, that you’re too young, that every second he spends watching you, wanting you, is a betrayal of everything he’s tried to build.
But you’re gone now and his lab feels emptier than ever. Even as he reaches for his journal, his thoughts are still tangled with you, with the way you looked at him, the way your sleepy eyes followed his every move, the way you seemed to hang on to every word, every breath he took. Did you even realise what you were doing to him?
And as he opens his journal, he knows there will be no more notes on anomalies tonight. No theories, nothing but the restless, fevered words he can never, ever say aloud. Ford knows that if these thoughts ever slipped past his lips, they’d destroy you. You’d never look at him the same again. And he can’t lose you. He couldn’t bear to watch that disgust fill your eyes, that revulsion as you saw him for what he truly is: a man with a heart full of shame, but aching for you all the same.
He writes with a fever, the words coming too quickly for him to even think them through. He’s confessing things he’ll never have the courage to say to you. The way you make him ache, how wrong it feels, how unnatural it is to want you this way. You’re so young, so vibrant, so full of life. How could someone like him, an old man, a man of logic and reason, ever think he could want someone like you?
And yet, it’s all he can think about. It’s all he does think about.
God help him, he wants you.
Stanford’s hand trembles as he writes fast.
“The way she seems to lean closer with every word I speak, as if I’m some kind of god to her. I can’t breathe when she’s near, but I can’t stand being away from her either.”
He’s sickened by it, disgusted by the way his hands ache for you, by how his thoughts run into places he can’t control. But even so, he thinks, I can’t stop. I can’t stop wanting you.
“If only she knew what I was dreaming about, how I want to erase all layers of distance between us. I want to melt into her, touch every inch of her skin, as if she was made to belong to me, only to me.“
Ford can’t let you know how deeply he feels, how far he’s fallen for someone like you, someone so out of reach, someone who might never look at him the way he looks at you. Because if he did, if he let those words slip from his lips it would ruin you. It would break you.
And he can’t do that.
Not to you.
So, he writes. He writes because it’s the only way he can make sense of the mess inside of him. The only way he can be close to you without breaking everything.
“God, if she knew, she'd never see me as anything but the perverted old man I am.”
“God help me. . . I want her breathless. I want her shaking, clinging to me as I bury myself inside her, feeling every inch of her wrap around me like she was made for this. I want her to be mine. The years between us be damned—”
One sentence, scribbled with shaking hands: “if she knew how much I want to make her come on my cock while explaining the fundamental laws of interdimensional, she’d never look at me same way again”
“I want her shaking, spent, marked by me, by the man twice her age who should know better but can’t help himself.”
“I picture teaching her how to harness interdimensional energy, but my mind twists it, images shifting until it’s my body pressed to hers, whispering “concentrate sweetheart,” while I trust into her from behind. Her breath would stutter as I correct her technique with my hands on her hips.”
“I shouldnt crave her, not with the years that separates us like an unyielding chasm. Yet when she laughs, carefree and obvious, I imagine making her cry my name, hands guiding her hips as I thrust inside up into her, showing her exactly what an older man can do. Showing her why age doesn’t matter when she’s trembling and breathless beneath me.”
“She's got no idea, does she? I want her bent over my desk, books and notes scattered beneath her, while I thrust into her like some animal in heat, filling her over and over until there's nothing left of her but soft, pleading sounds and the way her body pulls me back in with every move. I’d guide her, make her feel exactly what it means to be touched by a man who’s twice her age and twice as obsessed.”
Meanwhile, now, alone in your room, you’re haunted by the memory of your lovely scientist, pulsing between your legs, leaving a needy ache that’s impossible to ignore. Just thinking about him, the strong lines of his hands, those six fingers that could make you see stars. . . it all sends a jolt straight through your body and suddenly, you’re melting, undone, utterly helpless to this craving for him.
You let yourself fall back into your bed, eyes closed, his presence wrapping around you like a ghost you can’t shake off. You can’t even catch a steady breath now, the dampness pooling between your thighs, every inch of you begging to be touched — not by yourself, no. You need him, his skilled, explorative touch, those six clever fingers. The memory of every stolen glance, every careful brush of his hand, it all coils up inside, a slow, delicious torment, and now it’s throbbing there, heavy with need.
You drag your fingers down the length of your body, tracing where his hands might go as you imagine him, his fingers slipping lower, finding that sweet, drenched ache and grazing it with a delicate touch that he’d know so damn well. 'Fuck,' you’d gasp, his name like a prayer on your lips as his six fingers roam, rough and relentless, pressing right against that needy opening, filling you up until you’re nothing but breathless whimpers and cries for more.
“God, sweetheart,” you hear his voice, “I’ve wanted this for so damn long. Do you feel that? How hard you make me?” and then he’d press his cock between your legs, hot veins throbbing against your entrance, and you can feel his breath on your neck as he tells you what a beautiful mess you’ve become for him.
Your fingertips brush over your clit as you imagine his hand there, gentle but insistent, exploring you with that scientist's curiosity, his six fingers pressing slow, circling that sensitive bud, coaxing soft gasps from your lips. “Let me feel you. Take it slow, sweetheart. Let me make you mine.” but even as you touch yourself now, imagining his fingers in place of yours, it’s still not enough
You arch from own hand, fingers gliding through the wetness now slick and ready, you press a little harder on your clit, circling it faster, imagining the way his hands would dig into your skin, his strong arms wrapped around you as he thrusts into you, “take it all, darling. Every inch of me.”
And by some lucky chance, Ford stands outside your door, his pulse slamming hard against his ribs, a wreck of a man just clinging to sanity. The sound of you — all gasping, breathy moans slipping through the thin wood, whispering his name in that desperate little voice — he can’t help himself as his hand flies up to the doorframe, his fingers digging in so hard they’re going white, knuckles taut, trying to keep himself together.
But the universe is laughing at him, at his pathetic attempt at control, at the sheer uselessness of his restraint, because fuck, every gasp you make sinks its teeth into him.
Something hot runs through him, then it sinks low, thickening in his chest, then spreads down between his legs. His cock twitches, rock-hard and aching, straining against the fabric, pressing hard, begging for the attention he keeps denying it. He shouldn’t be here — hell, he should be miles away by now, somewhere that isn’t two inches from falling apart at the sound of you! But he’s not. He’s a goddamn mess, held hostage to the way you’re sighing his name.
“Fuck, sweetheart. . .” he’s going insane out here.
Ford knows how you look right now, imagined it thousands of times, laid out on your bed with those soft thighs parted, hands trailing down, fingertips grazing over warm, damp skin, teasing yourself open, getting yourself wet just for him. Fuck, he thinks, I shouldn’t be this fucking desperate.
Ford lets his hand slip down, pressing hard against the hardness straining in his trousers, feeling himself throb against his own palm. There’s no relief, just that painful, growing ache that has him grinding his teeth, biting back the low, broken sound that wants to rip free from his throat. He’s a man undone, ruined just by the thought of you, the image of you with your legs open, your body calling out for him like he’s the only one you need.
“Jesus, fuck. . .” his free hand reaches down, trembling as he slides it beneath his waistband, wrapping around the throbbing heat of his cock, feeling himself swell, hard and pulsing against his palm. It’s wrong, so wrong to be here, touching himself to the sound of your little whimpers, but fuck if he can stop.
The sounds coming from your room grow louder and it’s too much for him. He’s already so fucking close as he imagines himself on top of you, sinking inside you, feeling your cunt wrapped tight and hot around him, your body arching, your hands clawing at his back, those delicate fingers pulling him close, begging him not to stop.
Ford’s back collides with the lab door as he stumbles in, chest heaving, adrenaline of hearing his name on your lips. He locks the door behind him.
Fumbling hands tug at his belt, fingers clumsy, impatient, tearing at the fabric as it’s the only thing standing between him and relief. Finally, the belt slides free, and he wraps a shaky hand around his cock, swallowing down a low hiss as the raw heat of his own skin meets his grip.
He strokes himself roughly and desperately, letting his thumb graze the sensitive tip with a ragged groan that he’s helpless to contain. His mind runs further, and he pictures you, perfect and pliant, sinking to your knees before him with eyes so innocent, with lips parting as you take him into your mouth. As you let him fuck your throat.
A shiver runs through him and he leans his head back, sighing, groaning and grunting louder as he loses himself in the fantasy. God, if you only knew. If you could see him like that, a desperate moaning and trembling mess with his hand wrapped around his leaking cock.
“Ahh— ffuck,” hell, just how much he wants to hear you make those sounds too, moan for him, he wants to feel you beneath him, warm and soft, clinging to him, legs tangled around his waist as he sinks into you. His strokes become faster. Ford imagines pressing you down onto the lab table, your dripping pussy welcoming him as he thrusts deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper until there’s no part of you he hasn’t claimed. His breath hitches, hips bucking into his hand as he imagines the way your walls would tighten around him, clenching, pulling him in.
He’s shaking now, barely able to hold himself together, his free hand clutches at the edge of the workbench, knuckles white, as he lets himself sink fully into the fantasy. You’d look so damn perfect spread out for him. Ford’s hand moves faster, tighter, fueled by the image of you writhing beneath him, helpless, pleading, so sweet and open, absolutely his, his beautiful girl, sweetest thing.
The pressure building until he can’t take it anymore. His hips jerk, a loud needy moan spilling from his lips as he cums, his body shuddering with release. For a few long, breathless seconds, everything fades: his mind, his shame, everything but the overwhelming, blinding wave of pleasure.
***
The morning breaks, a new day arriving, one that promises to be spent with Ford close by— and, isn’t that something to look forward to?
When you meet Stanford, the first thing you hear is, “Did you not learn anything from last time?“
You bite your lip to keep from laughing, but before you can protest, Ford is stepping closer, his coat swishing around him as he moves. The wool of his scarf unravels with practiced ease, and in a smooth motion, it’s over your shoulders, the warmth of it spreads around your neck. You want to say something, but all you can focus on is the way Ford’s thumb traces the edge of the scarf, his touch so delicate it feels too intimate for something so simple.
This shouldn’t feel like it does, you think, but your body screaming what your mind refuses to admit.
“There,” Ford says, stepping back. “You’ll thank me later.”
“I thought you checked the forecast this time,” you tease, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t today supposed to be sunny?”
Ford crosses his arms with a smile. “Yes, well. . . One can never be too cautious. After all, last time—“
“—last time, I nearly froze my ass off,” you finish, the laughter bubbling up between you and Ford shoots you a look that’s equal parts exasperated and fond, like he’s about to scold you but can’t help himself.
“I wasn’t going to put it quite so crudely,” he says, but that reluctant chuckle escapes him before he can hide it.
When the sun climbs higher, the forest around you changes in hues of gold, the leaves thinning just enough to let the light filter through in soft rays. You walk side by side, close enough to hear the rhythmic crunch of your footsteps in the fallen leaves and Ford’s murmured observations, but it’s all you can do not to lose yourself in him. His words float past, about terrain, weather, anomalies and predictions, but your mind doesn’t follow, not when your eyes keep straying to him.
You can’t help but wonder if there’s any room left for you in his head, if he ever thinks about anything other than those damned anomalies. A piece of you wants to shake him, to pull him from his thoughts, to remind him that life is more than equations and mathematics. But, god, there’s something so cute about him when he’s like this, so fully consumed by his world, and you can’t look away.
“You’re thinking about something,” Stanford starts, pulling you out of your trance. “Is it the anomaly, or. . .?”
“Just wondering what it is we’re actually tracking. I mean, last time it disappeared before we could even get a good look, so. . . what’s the plan if it shows up again?”
Ford’s face lights up with approval at your question. “It’s an elusive creature, no doubt,” and again, his voice slips into that familiar lecture tone, one you’ve learned to love despite yourself. “But this time, I have a better understanding of its behaviour. The rain threw it off last time, but if my theory is correct, today’s dry weather should keep it on course! And if we can corner it near the ravine, there’s a chance we might get a clear reading on its—”
“Ford,” you interrupt, he stops talking, his brow lifting slightly. “I mean, yes— corner it near the ravine,” you repeat. Wait, what did you just say?
“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Ford asks, smiling at you. “If you’re still tired from yesterday, I can handle this on my own.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes, crossing your arms as you look at him defiantly. "Oh, please. I said I could do this a thousand times over with you and still keep up,” you challenge.
He laughs again and his laughter is so damn cute. “That, I don’t doubt.”
Time pass and as you walk beside Ford, your mind drifts, you're not really thinking about the anomaly or the hunt anymore. No, your thoughts are elsewhere. Again. Somewhere they shouldn’t be, but there they are. You can’t help but notice the way the sun highlights the strands of silver in Ford's hair, the curve of his shoulders as he walks, his posture so effortlessly confident and strong. And you think about how much you liked the way his body looked in the rain yesterday, when the wetness clung to his clothes and made every line stand out even more.
You sigh inwardly, watching him from the corner of your eye. The weather, as perfect as it is, only makes you feel a bit wistful. Why did it have to be sunny today? You had been hoping for more rain. The kind of rain that soaked him through and made his clothes cling to his skin, the droplets tracing the curves of his chest. That was a sight you’d never forget. But today sun is too bright, too cheerful.
The soft breeze brushes your hair against your face, and you snap out of your thoughts just as you see the clearing ahead. Ford slows his pace, his gaze scanning the area with his usual calculated precision. And just as yesterday, air here feels different, as if charged. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, the unease settling in. This is it, the spot where the anomaly was last seen. But, of course, there's nothing. The clearing is quiet, calm, completely empty.
Ford steps forward, looking around with a frown, muttering something under his breath. You stand there for a moment, waiting, listening to the wind rustle through the branches and the distant call of a bird. But there's nothing.
“Where is it?” you ask and Ford turns to you, his expression calm but with that familiar hint of worry in his eyes, the kind that usually only surfaces when he’s feeling frustrated.
“Don’t worry,” he says, though his voice sounds more like he’s trying to reassure himself than you. He straightens up, adjusting his glasses. “The anomaly will show itself. We’ve got all day to catch it.” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.
All day with Ford?
Your heart skips a beat and you have to fight to keep your expression neutral. What could be better than spending the entire day with him, just the two of you in this quiet, secluded place? No distractions, just you and Ford, and the anomaly that might never show up.
It takes a little more time while you and Ford are waiting for the anomaly to appear and so, a dialogue ensues.
“I’ve seen some more strange things. In all my years of research, there have been anomalies of all shapes and sizes. Creatures from dimensions we can’t even begin to understand. Some are harmless, just curious things that wander around, never meaning to cause harm. Others. . . Others are far more dangerous. I've seen creatures that could tear through steel without breaking a sweat. Their behavior is— well, unpredictable.”
“What about the really dangerous ones?”
“There's one anomaly, one creature that I’ve encountered that still haunts me, to this day.” he looks away for a moment, as if weighing the decision to tell you more. “a beast unlike any other. Its skin is like iron, nearly impenetrable. And its mind is relentless. It doesn’t think like us. It doesn’t have the ability to reason, only the ability to kill and survive.”
Wow, you already can see it in your mind — a massive, hulking creature, covered in jagged, metallic plates, its eyes wild with an animalistic hunger.
“And you’ve seen it?”
Ford nods slowly. “Yes, once. And it wasn’t an experience I care to repeat.” and then he calls you by your name. “Listen, if we encounter anything dangerous, you stay behind me. Don’t try to be a hero, don’t try to ‘help out.’ I’ve trained for this. I know these creatures; I know their instincts and behaviours. You. . . you don’t. It’s crucial that you follow my lead.”
“I’m not helpless, you know,” you mumble, folding your arms. “I can handle myself.”
But Ford only smirks, oh how cute you are. “And if you ever find yourself lost between dimensions, the key is to stay calm. Panicking is a surefire way to make yourself vulnerable. Reality in those places doesn’t play by the same rules. Your mind can trick you, distort what you’re seeing”
You stare at him, a mixture of awe and confusion washing over you. “Well, thanks, Ford, for the guide on how to travel through dimensions and fight the monsters that live in them.”
“Years of experience. Sometimes the hard way. But you don’t need to worry about that, alright? Just stick close, keep your wits about you, and we’ll make it out just fine.” he smiles.
“Easy for you to say,” you mutter, your gaze dropping to the forest floor. “You’re. . . you’re Stanford Pines. You’re used to dealing with this kind of thing. Me? I’d probably end up wandering off into some other dimension if I so much as blink wrong.”
He chuckles softly, and you feel his hand gently rest on your shoulder. “That’s why I’m here. To make sure you don’t.”
You open your mouth to respond, but then— crack. A twig snaps somewhere in the trees to your left. The sound is sharp, distinct, echoing through the quiet forest.
Your heart skips a beat and you instinctively grip Ford’s arm, eyes widening. He tenses, immediately going on alert as his gaze darts toward the source of the noise. “Stay behind me.”
You swallow, nodding as you press yourself close to him. Ford moves slowly, keeping himself between you and the sound, his shoulders squared, every muscle tense and ready.
Another rustle, this time from the other side. You bite your lip, feeling the cold prickling sensation of fear clawing up your spine. This doesn’t sound like a bunny, not in the slightest.
The sounds grow louder, surrounding you both. Ford’s posture tightens, his gaze focused and determined, while you hover close behind him, whatever lurks in the shadows isn’t friendly, and Ford, as always, stands ready to protect you at any cost.
Suddenly, Ford raises a hand, signaling for you to stay still. One. . . two. . . three—
A small, furry creature darts out of the bushes, a pudgy raccoon, more plump and inquisitive than fearsome. It scampers out, blinking innocently at you both and you feel sigh with a relief.
You slip out from behind Ford, who’s still standing rigidly, eyeing the raccoon with disbelief. “Well, would you look at that,” you say, glancing up at him with a slight grin. “Our terrifying forest intruder was just looking for a snack, huh?”
“Don’t get too close,” Stanford warns, still frowning. “These things are rarely alone.”
You laugh softly, crouching down and letting the raccoon sniff at your hand. “Oh, come on, Ford. You really think this little guy is hiding—”
The words die in your throat as you catch the look on his face, his eyes wide with sudden horror, mouth open as he shouts, “behind you!” and you whip around just in time to see something that makes your heart freeze, a hulking mass with matted fur and claws like daggers, looming in the shadows. Its eyes flash like yellow lanterns and a rank smell hits you, earthy and rotten all at once. You barely manage a step back before it lets out a furious roar, its maw wide enough to fit a head and then some. The sound is so loud it rattles through you and a splatter of spit flies from its jaws, landing on your clothes. You go stock-still.
“Th-that’s. . .” you stammer, but Ford’s voice interrupts you, calm and steady despite the chaos.
“Stay calm. It’s eyesight’s weak, but sound-sensitive. Just— slowly step back.”
You barely have time to take in his words before the beast’s head snaps toward you again, snarling with an intensity that shakes the trees. Immediately, Ford pulls out his gun, aiming directly at the creature, he fires off a round that echoes through the forest, hitting the beast and it lets out a howl of pain that sends birds scattering from the treetops. But it’s still very much alive, and now it looks angry, furiously angry. The monster's gaze is fixed on Ford with a vengeful glare, and he rushes towards him with a blood-curdling growl.
Ford stands firm, taking careful aim as he readies to fire again. But just as he steadies his grip, a branch underfoot shifts, making him stumble. The gun slips from his hand, landing somewhere in the tangle of roots and leaves and suddenly, he’s weaponless, the monster mere feet away.
Panic flares in your chest as you see the creature, claws poised, ready to strike. Ford scrambles back, but it’s too close, and something snaps inside you. Without thinking, you dart forward, adrenaline flooding through you and you grab a thick branch from the ground. With a yell that’s as much out of fear as it is determination, you swing it at the creature with everything you have, landing a blow that momentarily distracts it from Ford.
But that monster retaliates, slashing out in a blind fury and suddenly you feel the sting of claws raking across your leg. Pain flares sharp and hot, but you grit your teeth, ignoring it, keeping yourself steady enough to stay upright.
Ford seizes the moment, his eyes flashing with a mix of fury and fear as he snatches his gun from the ground, turning back to the creature. His voice is hoarse but resolute, “what are you doing?” he shouts irritably, calling your name again. “I told you to listen to me!”
With a final, controlled shot, he fires, the bullet hitting its mark. The monster lets out an agonized cry, staggering back before it turns and lumbers off into the dense woods, its snarl fading into the distance.
The adrenaline ebbs, leaving you and Ford alone in the sudden silence. His gaze finds yours, mad and worried all at once, his hand reaching out to steady you as your breathing finally starts to slow.
Ford’s face twists with frustration, jaw clenched tight and when he speaks, his voice is seething with barely controlled anger. “What the hell were you thinking?” he snaps. “You could’ve gotten yourself killed, charging in like that! I told you to stay back!”
You swallow, feeling a flush creep up your cheeks, not out of embarrassment or fear, but because, god, he’s hot when he’s angry, with that fire in his eyes and his tone like a damn storm. You force yourself to stay upright, despite the dull ache pulsing in your leg. “Ford, it’s fine. I just wanted to—”
But he’s already looking at you, really looking, his gaze flicking from your face to the way you’re leaning on your uninjured leg. “You’re hurt,” his tone dips from anger to something softer and worried. “Damn it, I should’ve never brought you out here. I’m such an idiot—“
“No, Ford, it’s just a little—” you try to brush him off, waving your hand dismissively, but as you shift your weight, a sharp bolt of pain shoots through your leg. You bite back a wince, forcing a smile. “Just a scratch, really.”
“Don’t even think about hiding this from me,” Ford turns annoyed and dead serious again, he steps closer as he assesses you, and there’s something really fierce in the way he insists, “Let me take a look. Now.”
For a moment, you think about arguing. But the pain flares again and you realise there's no winning against that look in his eyes. With a sigh, you give in, nodding reluctantly as you show him your new wound, from where the blood has already soaked into the fabric, turning it dark red.
Ford’s face changes instantly. “Damn it,” his hand hovers uncertainly like he wants to reach out, to touch, but doesn’t quite know where to begin. “This is— this isn’t just a scratch.”
His fingers finally settle gently around your calf, supporting you, his touch unexpectedly gentle as he examines the wound. You can feel his pulse under his fingertips, it’s obvious he’s anxious, and for a second, he doesn’t look like the Ford who always has the answers.
“This was my fault, I shouldn’t have— damn it, I should’ve kept you safe.”
***
The journey back to the shack feels agonizingly silent. Ford has one arm around your waist, nearly carrying you as you limp along, every step makes the wound throb in your leg. The sting, the ache, it’s all mingling with a sick sense of regret. You feel it settling in your chest. The whole day had been a disaster. You both went out to catch that anomaly, that one lead he was so excited about. . . and instead, you ended up facing something brutal. The monster had nearly killed you both.
Ford hasn’t spoken a word since the forest and with each passing second, it gnaws at you more. The thought appears in your mind, he must regret it. Bringing you along, letting you be there, yeah. . . he’s mad and not in the way you find hot. He’s distant, still supporting you, guiding you with a firm hand, but it’s as though he’s somewhere else entirely.
When you finally make it to the Shack, you find it blessedly empty. No Stan’s loud jokes or questions to break the heavy silence between you. Ford helps you to walk, still wordless and the whole way, you’re trying to find something to say. Some excuse, some apology, but every time you look over at him, you just see that grim look and you stop yourself.
Inside, he lets you sit on the couch. You clear your throat, forcing yourself to speak, to try to lift that heavy cloud around you. “Ford, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for things to go that way. I didn’t mean to—”
But Ford cuts you off. “No, don’t apologize. It’s my fault. I should never have let you come along, I put you in danger.”
That serious tone. . . You nod, saying nothing more and after a beat of silence, you get up slowly, mumbling something about heading to your room. Ford doesn’t stop you, and he watches you go, still worried as fuck, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s rooted there, expression tight as he watches you limp down the hall.
When you get to your room, you close the door softly behind you, but the pain in your leg has started pulsing heavier, sharper, demanding your attention. You look down and finally decide, you’re going to check it, even if just to prove to yourself that Ford’s look wasn’t warranted, that maybe you’re not as bad as he seemed to think.
You settle on the edge of your bed, carefully and slowly taking your pants off, but as you pull the fabric, the sight that greets you isn’t reassuring in the slightest. The cut on your thigh is deep, seeping a fresh, dark line of blood that’s begun to smear against your skin. “Fuck. . .” you curse, tilting your head to get a better look, your fingers hovering over the edges of the wound. Just as you’re mentally preparing to find the first aid kit, a familiar voice cuts through the silence.
“No, please, just— let me help still. I won’t be calm until I—”
In the midst of your concentration, you hear the faintest creak of the door, and before you can even react, it opens.
You barely have a moment to react, still sitting on the edge of your bed, the bloody gash on full display as Ford steps inside, eyes widening as he looks at you. He freezes and for a moment, you both just stare at each other in silence. You’re sitting there in your panties and a t-shirt, and you don’t know if to be happy or not, realising how exposed you must look. Ford’s gaze flickers to your bare legs, to the wound on your inner thigh.
You cross your legs in shock and embarrassment. “Ford, what—” you start, but he quickly raises a hand, cutting you off.
“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to—“ Ford approaches, he kneels beside the bed, looking up into your eyes. “I— I can’t just leave you like this,” he pleads. “Please. . . let me help.”
“Ford—“
Ford’s hands hover over your leg. “You need to stop the bleeding, disinfect it, make sure it doesn’t get infected. It’s going to hurt, but, I can help. I’ll be gentle. Just let me. . . please.”
His eyes search yours, a quiet desperation in them that seems to say more than just his words ever could. Ford may be brilliant when it comes to the unknown, but in moments like this, when it’s you that’s hurt, he’s lost, even if he tries to sounds smart. He doesn’t want to mess this up, doesn’t want to fail you.
Slowly, you nod, the vulnerability in his gaze too much for you to ignore.
“Alright,” you whisper. “but be careful, okay?”
#gravity falls x reader#gravity falls x you#x reader#gravity falls#gravity falls smut#ford pines x reader#stanford pines#ford pines smut#ford x reader#ford pines x you#stanford pines x you#stanford pines x reader#gravity falls stanford#smut#gravity falls fanfic#ford pines x oc
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Facebook Official
whoops my hand slipped and I banged out 1800 words of fix-it fic in like an hour. btw i think the Abby connection is dumb but I'm making it work.
Three years after reconciling with Buck, newly engaged to him, Tommy gets a phone call from a certain former dispatcher...who's just seen some interesting news via a Facebook Relationship Status post.
*****
(also on AO3)
To say that the phone call blindsided him would have been the understatement of the century.
He was just sitting at home watching the game, having a beer, minding his own business. Evan was on shift — must be a busy one, he’d only gotten two text messages all evening, one bitching about not having had time to eat dinner and the other about idiots who texted while driving.
His phone rang. Unknown number. Normally he wouldn’t have picked up, but with all the wedding preparations, a lot of vendors were calling. It was a little late to be making business calls, just after 8 pm, but he’d quickly learned that business norms meant little in the wedding planning business. “Hello?”
“Tommy?”
“Yes?” A woman’s voice. Familiar, but he couldn’t place it.
Pause “You’re marrying Buck??” A slightly hysterical note of disbelief entered the woman’s voice as she said the name.
And all at once, he knew who it was. Shit fuck motherfucker why didn’t we get ahead of this one.
“Abby. Um…”
“Evan Buckley? My ex-fiancé and my ex-boyfriend are marrying each other?”
“Small world, huh?” he said, going for levity.
“Buck’s not even gay!”
“No, he’s not. He’s bisexual.”
“I’m…okay. I’m sorry, it’s just…this is a lot of information to get all at once.”
“How did you even find out? Don’t you live in Phoenix?”
“Buck posted one of those relationship status things on Facebook.”
“Oh. I barely use Facebook.”
“Me either, but Buck does, and I hadn’t been on there in awhile, but I logged on and that was like the third post I saw!”
Tommy remembered the day Buck had made the post. They hadn’t really put their relationship on social media much - Buck posted photos of them on Instagram sometimes - and he hadn’t done one of those stupid relationship status things for them until they got engaged. They’d trawled their phones for the right pic, eventually settling on one taken at a 118 barbecue of them together, smiling, arms slung around waists. He hadn’t said so, but he’d gotten a little emotional over what Evan wrote on the post:
Evan Buckley is engaged to Tommy Kinard.
“It’s been a long road, but we made it. Can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this man. He’s the best person I’ve ever known. I love you!”
“Well…I’m sorry that was an unpleasant surprise for you,” Tommy said, carefully.
She sighed. “I don’t know that it was…unpleasant. But a surprise, for sure. How do you even know Buck? How did you meet?”
“We’re both firefighters, it’s not that surprising that we could have met, is it?”
“No, I guess not.”
“And he was at my old firehouse. The one you refused to ever come to. But I guess you went when you were with him, didn’t you?”
“You never wanted me to meet your friends. I guess I found out why when you broke off our engagement.”
“I’m sorry, Abby. I know I said it then, but I’ll say it again now. I lied to myself, I lied to a lot of people. It took me almost trapping you in my lie, when you did not deserve that, to break me out of it.”
“I forgave you ages ago. We don’t have to go over all that again.”
“I met Evan…I guess it’s four years ago? We started dating not long after. I, um…was the first man he dated. I guess I made him realize some things about himself.”
“Just transforming lives everywhere you go, huh?” she said, a teasing note entering her voice. Tommy was happy to hear it.
“Yeah, well, I almost screwed it up. I broke up with him six months later. He was diving in headfirst, too fast, just all in and wanting to move in with me.”
“That sounds just like Buck.”
“I panicked and ended it before I could get in any deeper with him.”
“It was too late, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. I was already in love with him.”
“He’s easy to love. Too easy,” she said, quietly. “But you got back together, obviously.”
“Took a little while. Almost a year. I dated a few guys, he dated a few people, but nothing stuck for either of us - I know now it’s because we were still hung up on each other. We have a friend in common and we’d hear about each other through him…but I didn’t really see him until we ended up on a major incident call together. I sustained a minor injury - just a scrape, really - and Hen from his house patched me up. I was sitting there on the ambulance deck, more or less left to myself, and he came waltzing up with that eyebrow raised like he knew all my secrets.” Abby chuckled, like she knew the exact expression he was describing. “He just said, are you done being fucking stupid yet?”
“And you were.”
“Yep. I was. He took me home that night and we’ve barely been apart since. Got engaged a year later.”
“You sound happy.”
“I am. I’m ecstatic. I can’t believe I got a second chance with him. I kicked myself for ending it like that, I don’t know what came over me.”
“I do. You thought you weren’t enough for him to want to keep you.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“That’s dumb.”
“That’s what he says.”
They sat there not speaking for what felt like a long time.
“Well…” Abby said. “I feel like I just unloaded on you out of the blue.”
“You kinda did,” he said, smiling.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have called.”
“I’m glad you did. You know…Evan and I didn’t realize we had you in common until our six month anniversary dinner. In fact, it was that revelation that sort of started us on the way to breaking up for awhile. But that’s been so long now and it hasn’t come up in a few years. I almost forgot about it.”
“Gee, thanks,” she said, her grin audible. “I’m glad you’re both happy. I have a lot of regret over Buck, how I left things with him. I assume he’s told you.”
“He has. If it helps, he doesn’t have any bad feelings towards you.”
“It does help. Thank you for that.” She sighed. “I’ll let you go. I just saw that Facebook post and spiralled a little bit.”
“Understandable.”
“Please tell Buck I say hello. And I wish you both so much happiness, Tommy.”
“Thank you. And I will.”
She hung up. Tommy stared at the phone for a moment, then opened his text message thread with Evan.
You’re not gonna believe what just happened.
*****
When Evan got home at 7 am, they had their usual two hours to share breakfast and maybe a quick fuck before Tommy had to be on shift himself. They tried to sync their schedules so their off days coincided, but it didn’t always work.
“Holy shit, why didn’t we get ahead of that one?” Evan said as he burst in the door, not even bothering with “hello.” His shoes and duffel went flying and he bustled into the kitchen where Tommy was mixing the pancake batter.
“Yeah, I had the same thought,” he said, leaning over to kiss him hello.
Evan went to the coffee pot. “I didn’t even think about it, that she might see.”
“Neither did I.”
“How’d she sound?”
“Really surprised at first. Incredulous, even? Like in the what-are-the-odds way.”
“Kinda like when I found out we’d both dated her.”
“Yeah, but you’re my himbo now,” Tommy said, smirking. “No, she was just shocked. I gave her the quick rundown, and she ended up congratulating us.”
“Did you tell her it’s her fault we broke up for a year?” Evan said, popping a strawberry into his mouth.
“I think the proper person to bear the fault is me.”
“And also me. Who asks someone to move in after six months? Before even saying ‘I love you?’ And when you had a house!”
“I say we blame Josh. He got you all juiced up with that damn Glee speech.” After they’d reconciled, Evan had given him chapter and verse on his mind-boggling thought processes on that last fateful day.
“He got me feeling guilty, is what he did. That I judged you for lying to Abby. Overcorrecting is one of my special gifts.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, while I’m overcorrecting…why don’t we invite her?”
Tommy looked up. “To our wedding?”
“Sure, why not? She can flip a coin whose side she sits on,” Evan said, grinning like the mischievous imp that he was.
“Evan, darling, love of my life, we are not inviting our ex to our wedding.”
He scrunched up his face. “Ew. ‘Our’ ex? Makes it sound like we were in a throuple.”
“Ew, indeed.”
He cocked his head. “I dunno, though. The thought’s kinda sexy.”
“Not to me! No vaginas anywhere near my bedroom. Kinsey 6, remember?”
“Of course, my apologies.”
Tommy looked at his innocent wide-eyed face for a few beats. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“Can I help it if the thought of two people I have found intensely attractive doing sexy things is appealing?”
“Can I help it if the thought of Chris Hemsworth going down on you has gotten me through some lonely nights?”
“Okay, I get the point. Shutting up now.”
Tommy put a plate of pancakes in front of him. “Your shift okay?”
“Fine. Busy. I’m a bit wired. Do we have time for me to bounce on your dick for a bit before you have to head out?”
“For that, I’ll make time.” He sat down at the table at Evan’s side with his own pancakes. Evan slid a hand over and squeezed his thigh.
“Missed you, though,” he said, chewing.
“I always miss you when you’re on shift,” Tommy said.
Evan looked up at that, meeting his eyes. “Tommy, sometimes I miss you when you get up to get a beer.”
The simplicity, the sincerity of it made his chest tighten a little. He leaned forward, put his fingers under Evan’s chin and pulled him into a soft kiss, just like the first time. “I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.”
“And we are not inviting my ex-fiancee who is also your ex-girlfriend to our wedding.”
Evan grinned. “Deal.”
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I've made a post about great lesser-known noirs, but it occurs to me that some of you might not be familiar with the classics, and might want to know where to start. This is a ridiculously short list- I have a million more to talk about- but here are some of the big stars of the genre.
The Maltese Falcon: Sam Spade, a clever but callous private detective, gets wrapped up in intrigue relating to an artifact that is functionally cursed. If he's an unscrupulous character, just wait until you meet everyone else. The whole damn cast is electrifying, lending charm and cruelty in equal measure.
The Big Sleep: Philip Marlowe, a kinder and more poetic detective for Humphrey Bogart to play than Spade, is called upon to deal with a wealthy, dysfunctional family, and it keeps on getting weirder from there. Is the sharp-tongued Vivian Sternwood the femme fatale she seems, or is she just another person trying to find the right thing to do in desperate circumstances? And will she and Marlowe keep their hands off each other until the plot has had its last twist?
Double Indemnity: Rich housewife Phyllis Dietrichson and sleazy insurance agent Walter Neff are, by their own admission, rotten people. It's only natural that they should plot a murder together, and that they should turn on each other the very second things go wrong. Every single domestic murder movie since 1944 has ripped this off.
Kiss Me Deadly: This is nominally an adaptation of a Mike Hammer story. Screenwriter Bezzerides hated Mike Hammer. As depicted here, he is one of the worst people in the world. Depending on the cut of the film you see, he may inadvertently cause the nuclear apocalypse. (For once, the theatrical cut is darker.)
Sweet Smell of Success: Cruel, all-powerful columnist JJ Hunsecker wants his sister's boyfriend out of the way (for reasons that are, um, ambiguous.) To accomplish this, he enlists the biggest weasel in New York, Sidney Falco, and the two completely deserve each other as they spend the rest of the movie trading elaborate insults. Popular on tumblr for its dialogue and chemistry between the leads.
Sunset Boulevard: Broke screenwriter Joe Gillis thinks he can con a has-been into hiring him as a script doctor, and that's the last free decision he ever gets to make. From then on, his life is in the hands of Norma Desmond, silent film starlet turned crazed recluse, terrifying yet intensely pitiable. This is as much gothic horror as noir.
Ace in the Hole: The story of a man trapped in a cave is turning out to be a big hit in the newspaper, and if the publicity will make a reporter's career, then what's the harm in delaying rescue just for a little while? This is as vicious as noir gets, but damn it, you've just got to see what happens next. (Watch Jacob Geller's video Fear of the Depths after this.)
Sorry Wrong Number: Of all the films on this list, this is the one that really scared me. In the days of switchboards, a rich hypocondriac woman is connected to the wrong phone line and overhears a murder being planned. It doesn't take her long to figure out she's the intended victim, and each call she makes or recieves makes the situation darker. But how can she escape her fate if she can't- or won't leave her bed?
The Asphalt Jungle: The heist movie. Maybe the only heist movie ever made. Every line is quotable. Every member of the team is an unforgettable personality. When things go wrong, they go horribly wrong. One minute you're laughing, and the next minute you think you'll never laugh again.
Gun Crazy: Laurie and Bart, two practiced sharpshooters, are perhaps the most perfect match in all of noir- and that's a bad thing. When one half of the duo gets a criminal idea in their head, the other can't say no. When the opportunity to ditch her man like a sap comes up, the femme fatale throws it away to be doomed at his side. He fell in love with her when she first aimed a gun at him. Quentin Tarantino kissed star Peggy Cummins's feet at a showing of the film, and I hope she kicked him in the head.
Laura: Everyone was in love with Laura Hunt, and somebody killed her- or did they? Did they get the right person? Is the cop on the case in love with a dead woman? Was her columnist mentor just her gay best friend, or was there something darker beneath that facade? And what would Laura think of all this? A big inspiration on Twin Peaks.
In a Lonely Place: Bogart isn't at all heroic here, as a screenwriter with a drinking habit and a violent temper. He's obviously a bad idea to date, but just how bad an idea? He's not the type of guy who'd kill a woman, is he? Bogart and Gloria Holden give perhaps their best performances here, and they'll wound your soul.
Touch of Evil: A Mexican cop (played, unfortunately, by Charlton Heston) finds out a nasty secret about the big hero cop Hank Quinlan: he's framed the culprit in most of his cases. Not because he's crooked, but because his intuition tells him they're guilty. Director Orson Welles as Quinlan is frightening, grotesque, and a little bit tragic in what some consider the last classic noir.
The Killers: The first twenty minutes or so are an adaptation of a Hemingway story, where out of town hitmen gun down a man so depressed he won't even bother to run from them. The rest of the film is an investigation into how he got that way. It had something to do with a radiant gangster's girl, and something to do with a few botched crimes. Sometimes a man can die before the bullets even touch him.
The Third Man: Everybody is lying about the whereabouts of an American expatriate named Harry when his friend comes looking. Did they do something to him? Or, more frightening still, is he the one who's been doing things to other people? Orson Welles is a more charming monster than he was in Touch of Evil; the light and shadows on his face cast him as a vampire, while his fingers sticking up through the sewer grate look like something terrifying emerging from the earth.
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AITA Tommy’s Version
r/AmITheAsshole 25 minutes ago
UpInTheAir
AITA for breaking up with my partner and then calling him to say I miss you 2 hours after
TL;DR: I was a cute guys bisexual awakening, we dated for 6 months and I broke his heart to save my own broken heart later and now I miss him
I (39M) recently broke up with my partner E (33M) after 6 months of dating. We met at work and I was intrigued by him from the start. A few weeks after we met he called and asked for a tour of my job (we both work the same job just different locations). I agreed to give him a tour because I thought he was hot and I wanted to get to know him better. He offered to buy me a beer but I forgot I was supposed to go to a fight with a mutual friend D (32M) so I had to leave right after our tour.
We didn’t talk anymore after I left with D until we played basketball and E and another friend showed up. E got jealous and hit D and injured him. I took D to get looked and then after I got him squared away at home I went to E’s place to apologize where we talked and we kissed for the first time. I had to leave almost immediately after to go to work but we texted a few times.
We decided we’d do dinner and a movie for our first date and it was going well until D and his girlfriend interrupted our date and E panicked at being forced out and I decided it was time to end things for the night. I paid for dinner and left and thought that was it until he called me and asked if we could meet up again.
During the 5 days we didn’t speak he was all I could think about. I agreed to meet E for coffee after work and when I got there he told me he’d had conversations with his older sister M (44F) and D about us. He wanted a second chance and when I agreed he asked me to be his date to his sisters wedding.
We went to a failed bachelor party, I had to leave early for a work thing but while I was gone the groom went missing. He was found and the wedding went off without much more of a hitch and I got to the wedding late but E and I made out in the middle of the hospital before we joined the party.
We had a good time all summer and early this fall. We spent almost every mutual day off together and it was great. Sure we bickered occasionally but nothing really major.
At our anniversary dinner I mentioned I was engaged and that was that. A couple days after we realized we had a mutual ex and E asked me to move in with him. And I spiraled and broke up with him.
I went home and a couple hours later called him to say I missed him. His best friend answered and I could hear E in the background crying.
ItalianStallion • 23 minutes
YTA. You’re an idiot OP.
UpInTheAir • 21 minutes
So helpful
ItalianStallion • 20 minutes
I try buddy
EightPack • 19 minutes
YTA. You can probably fix it if you go get him and bring flowers
UpInTheAir • 17 minutes
You really think so?
EightPack • 12 minutes
Just go get him and tell him you love him
BuckinItUp • 24 minutes
ESH. You said you realized you had a mutual ex and then E asked you to move in?
UpInTheAir • 22 minutes
Yep
BuckinItUp • 20 minutes
I bet he’s sorry too and wants to talk to you too. Go get your man
OverTheCoop • 10 minutes
ESH. You for breaking his heart and E for asking you to move in so quickly
StuckInTheChimney • 2 minutes
YTA. Fix it and try to win him back.
Update: It’s been a year since I posted this but here’s an update for anyone curious. E and I are back together!! I just flew him to Vegas and we got married by a guy in a really bad Elvis costume.
Tagging: @rdng1230 @bangpop91 @thecarrott @cliophilyra @girlwonder-writes @desert--moonchild @thepinkcrayon @marvelousbuckley @nine-one-wanton @30somethingautisticteacher @sunnywithachanceofbi @dadbodbuck @aplaceinme @rubydaiquiri
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Hiii its me again, ok so, my request is slashers with a s/o who's really into skincare that her skin is so soft, smooth and glowy? And she has like a good haircare routine that her hair is smooth and shiny and just over all healthy? Reader just really cares about her over all appearance, thanks you!! ❤️
OMGGG OMGGG YESSSS THIS DRABBLE IS GOING TO BE GOODDD!!!
Sorry for not posting, school has been kicking my ass the last few weeks or so! I think this was a lot longer than some of the other headcannon's loll! So hope y'all like this :D!
Slashers: Patrick, Sinclair Brothers (Bo, Vincent, & Lester), RZ Michael, Brahms & Billy Lenz, Carrie, Chucky & Tiffany, Jason, The Lost Boys (David, Dwayne, Paul, & Marko), Norman, Billy & Stu, Thomas & Bubba
Slashers with S/O that loves to do skincare and hair routine!
Patrick:
Patrick immediately wanted to know where and how your skin glowed like that, and also how smooth your skin is too! Patrick wouldn't let you go anywhere! Your skin is too soft for him to let go! Patrick would also smell your hair and play with your hair too! He's not going to let you go, he's going to be snuggling with you in bed all day, even if you have work..!
Once you tell Patrick about how your skin is soft, smooth, and glowing as well as your hair. Patrick immediately wrote down everything you said, and went to the store after writing what you have said! You expected him to be gone for a few hours or so, because it kinda takes a long time for you to find everything, until he arrives 30 minutes later! Patrick would definitely want you to do the routine on him now, so be prepared for your hands to start aching!
Sinclair Brothers:
Your skin and hair was interesting to Vincent and Lester! Lester was the first one asking you how did you get your skin to glow and your hair like a goddess? Lester is just too mesmerized by your skin and hair, and he felt your hair and to his surprise it was really soft! Even your skin too, he would always want to snuggle with you, but you would always have to tell him to wash off too of course!
Bo would definitely steal you away from his brothers just for snuggles, and other stuff.. Bo can't keep his hands off of you! He's too busy touching your hair and skin, and it's too soft and smooth to let him go! You decided to do your routine on the brothers, and it definitely turned out well for all of them! They all smell great, their skin is kinda soft and smooth but either way it worked! Even their hair too! They all thanked you for your time to do their hair and skin routine!
RZ Michael:
Michael loves to smell your hair when he is by you. Something about your hair and skin just magically pulls Michael! Michael has been touching you a lot lately, whether you're doing chores or just laying down. If you're sitting on the couch, Michael would be on you and may sleep on you because the smell of you always does something to Michael! Michael loves the smell of your hair, he thinks it smells like strawberries!
When you realize Michael loves to smell your hair and touch you a lot more, you bought more of your skincare and hair stuff for you and Michael! You decided to help Michael with the stuff for his skin and hair! His skin turned out a lot smoother than expected, and it made you rub your cheek to Michael's cheek because of how smooth and soft his skin is! You then worked on Michael's hair, and Michael's hair really needed some conditioner to open the locks in his hair. After working on all the routine on Michael, Michael kinda liked the new "him". He's mostly staring at the mirror that's hanging on the door, just checking himself out. While you are on the bed telling him to just come and sleep with you. (We get it Michael, you're fine as hell, but you gotta come to bed 🙄.)
Brahms & Billy Lenz:
Brahms and Billy can't stop touching your skin and your hair! Their hands are always on you and sometimes on your hair too. You would always get pissed if you have done your hair for a special occasion or just for fun, but those two decide to put their faces into your hair! So, you always end up smacking them to get them away. These two are clingy to you wherever you go, whether it's the next room over or downstairs. Since you always smelt good, these two would always ruin the smell, and their smell is either a stinky smell or something else..
You decided to do your own routines on them! You started with hair, because these two hairs are stinky and they probably have lice. And that's okay, because luckily you were prepared for this! After scrubbing and washing all the stuff away from their hair, next was their skin! They showered after you have done their hair and sat down for you to do their skin. You then worked on their skin, applying whatever stuff you use on your skin and applied onto them! After all your hard work, you gave them a mirror and let them check themselves out. These two loved how you did your routine on them, and wanted you to start doing more on them too!(Bless all of your skin care and hair stuff, because these two would definitely beg you for more 😔!)
Carrie:
Carrie thought you were a Goddess! The way your hair shines in the sun, and how the sun shines your skin too! When you both hold hands, Carrie thought how soft your hand is too! She wanted to know how you glow in the sunlight, and what you use for your hair to smell so good too! Carrie had to encourage herself to tell you what products you use for your skin and hair, but she was too shy! She thinks that you would probably not tell her, but then she finds the courage and says her question to you! You immediately answered with a 'yes' and that you would definitely help her with the stuff she needs for her skin and hair!
You pulled her hand towards the store in the mall that you love buying your products from. After buying some products for you and Carrie, you both then walked to your car and drove off. While going back to the house, you were so excited to put skincare and hair products on Carrie! Carrie was pretty excited too! You brought out all the products from the bag and started doing her hair first while she was in the warm bath. Carrie felt really relaxed and she thanked you for taking your time for doing her skin and hair! After doing her hair, you explained which skincare products go first and last on her skin. She then started immediately wanting to see if your skincare products would work! She was amazed that her skin was so soft and glowy too! She hugged you and thanked you for taking your time to do all the stuff for her!
Chucky & Tiffany:
Tiffany was mesmerized how you glow in the sun and how your skin is so soft too! Even your hair pulled Tiffany in a trance! The way your hair shines in the sun and how soft it is! Tiffany would definitely want to do different hairstyles on you, and also different types of makeup too! She wanted you to tell what's your secret on how you glowed in the sun! Chucky thought you were like a sun, because of how you mostly shine everywhere, either it's inside or outside. Chucky and Tiffany love how you glow and shine everywhere you all go!
You showed Tiffany what products you love to use for your routines, and she immediately went into the bathroom to try them on. Chucky didn't want to do it since, he thinks those products are useless. He'll style whatever hairstyle he wants and how he'll take care of his skin. But too bad that Tiffany also dragged him into the bathroom after she did her hair. It all turned out well for Tiffany and Chucky! Tiffany's hair looked so soft as well as Chucky's, and how their skins shined under the bathroom light! Tiffany hugged you and thanked you for showing your routines and that she'll definitely buy more products for you, her and Chucky! Chucky didn't want to lie, but he liked the smell of his own hair and how smooth his skin is too!
Jason:
Jason has always wondered how you even glow in the sun! He loves seeing how the sun kisses your skin and your hair, Jason thinks you're a literal Goddess just walking around in the forest! You always loved how Jason touches you carefully as you are a precious thing to him! Jason also loves getting snuggles from you, he loves how soft you are too! He'll try making different hairstyles from papers that he'll search from people's bags that he had killed.
Jason was a bit shy and embarrassed to ask you for those products you use in your daily life. He came to you, and asked in ASL if you could do products on him, but just his skin since he knows that he doesn't have hair. You immediately said yes and of course you would help him! You got all your supplies and started applying what you usually do in your own skin. It did take a little bit of time, because of Jason's body being almost as a bodybuilder or a bear body! Once everything was done, Jason touched his own arm and rubbed up and down, and he loved how smooth he was! He gave you a crushing hug, which almost caused you almost to pass out, but luckily he let go once he realized your body wasn't breathing. Jason would always come to you if he wants to do his skincare again and grab the items that you need (mostly from campers that are killed).
The Lost Boys:
You put all the boys in a trance, from how your skin and hair is glowing in the moonlight! They haven't realized until now! Get ready to get bombarded with a lot of questions! Like, the boys had to ask what you make your skin so smooth and soft whenever they touch you. Or when they all smell that sweet fragrance when you are walking around with them! You told them that you use products for those things, except perfume.
They wanted you to immediately do it on them, so you did for fun! You applied skincare products on all the boys, and while they were waiting for their skin to be as smooth and soft as yours, you were doing their hair next! Paul and Dwayne's hair was a little tangled, but nothing too much. David and Marko's hair is easy and you can easily brush and put on the stuff in their hair! Once you were done with everything, the boys were so excited to see how everything turned out! And it all turned out perfectly! Their hair was as soft as yours and their skin was so smooth like yours too! They all loved you for taking the time and helping with them!
Norman:
Norman loves how you always glow in the light of your shared home, or in the motel working! He just can't keep his eyes off of you! And he loves the smell of your perfume, he'll sometimes smell strawberry pound cake, vampire blood, etc (or any spray perfume from bath and body wash/other places!!). If Norman is close by you, and if he can smell your hair from where he's standing, he'll also notice that your hair smells just like the perfume you sprayed! He just can't get enough of it, he loves all those perfume and hair stuff you use!
Norman would also notice that your skin is really healthy! He needs to know what makes your skin so glowy like that! You went to stores that you love shopping for your products and went home to try all of them on Norman! He was very excited to try some of your products, and you went to work doing it. After all those products were on Norman, Norman was so surprised that he looked really good! Norman thanked you so much that you can't even count! He'll cherish this forever in his life and heart!
Billy & Stu:
Billy and Stu would give you so many compliments, because of how pretty you are! Stu would always try and hug you because of how soft and smooth you are! As for Billy, he would try and hug you longer so that he could smell your hair, not gonna lie. Billy just loves the smell of your hair and he wanted to know what shampoo and conditioner you use. Stu asked the same thing, but for skin!
You gave them your products of what you use, and these two immediately went into the bathroom and tried the products out. Billy put the shampoo that smelled like your hair and afterwards put on conditioner after drying his hair. Stu shaved, and put in the products that you use for your skin as well as Billy. And they loved how they smell just like you! After these two were done using the shared bathroom, they both walked to you and got into the bed. You loved how they smelled nice now, but you liked the men's products they use because they smell really good, but it doesn't last too long.. Anyways, you all cuddled to sleep, and you loved how fresh the smell was from these two. (Until, the next few days you found all of your products gone from those two using all of it 😔.)
Thomas & Bubba:
Thomas and Bubba wanted to know how you are glowing! Thomas' eyes are always on you and sometimes Mama Luda would scold him to do his work first, and then hangout with you. Bubba would always hangout with you if Thomas doesn't need any help with chores. Bubba loves how smooth your skin is too! Bubba would point to his makeup and then to you, asking you if he can do your makeup. And of course you accepted his request! You always love how bubba is getting better and better with his makeup progress!
Bubba would try and do your hair, but he would sometimes get really frustrated with how your hair doesn't look like the ladies in the magazine. He would slump his shoulders knowing that he didn't do a great job on your hair, but to you it was just progress for Bubba! You will always give him praises on how he did a great job on your makeup and hair, and give him lots of cuddles to make him feel a lot better! As for Thomas, he would go onto his knees and put his head on your thighs, and he would take a few deep breaths smelling your sweet and comforting fragrance! Thomas loves the fragrance that you love to put on, and that fragrance could always make this man sleep in just a few minutes or so. Thomas and Bubba love your cuddles that you give them, because your skin is so smooth and soft that after rubbing or massaging, these two will knock out from it!
#requested#i might've forgot hannibal and will so sorry 😔#slashers x reader#patrick bateman x reader#bo sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#lester sinclair x reader#rz michael myers x reader#brahms heelshire x reader#billy lenz x reader#carrie white x reader#chucky x tiffany#chucky x reader#tiffany x reader#jason vorhees x reader#tlb x reader#norman bates x reader#billy loomis x reader#stu macher x reader#thomas hewitt x reader#bubba sawyer x reader
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I need to yap desperately about one single gripe I have with this game. MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD read at your own discretion
The first half is me ranting about how much certain things mean to me and how impacted I was, and the actual gripe comes closer to the end.
I'll preface this by saying this post is about Varric's death and my rage and despair regarding it, but more so about my Rook's.
I've seen people who said they picked up on the hints about whatnot, who knew before the Fade Prison. I was not one of those people. I was so relieved when I saw him after the Prologue that I didn't think twice, because I knew that it would destroy me the second shit started going wrong.
I was already not having a good time when I started the game simply because Varric was getting older. I don't handle aging well or death, and his design showing his age, and the comments he would make about "getting too old for this" just made my heart break.
And then shit got worse. I sobbed disgustingly when that knife went into Varric's chest.
After Rook woke up from talking to Solas and she heard Varric, I was so gods damned relieved. And my Rook was better taken care of by Varric in that year she spent with him than she was in the rest of her entire life.
I cried from the end of Ghilan'nain's fight until the romance scene and on and off after that. I got so used to visiting Varric just to be comforted by his presence. Inquisition was the biggest part of my life for a year and a half when I was just a kid.
I did really bad middle school age writing for it but regardless of the quality, those characters were built up in my head becoming even more than they were in the game. Varric was my biggest support character through everything I was going through at the time.
I don't talk about it much, but I didn't have a great childhood, and I know a lot of people didn't, but I coped with it through writing and video games. Varric was the one supporting me through the abuse I suffered and writing was the way I processed how bad things really were.
When Rook was in the prison she said "What am I going to find here?" And Varric said "I think you already know, kid." I DIDN'T until he said that. The second he said that my entire chest tightened and I just said "No" out loud as I watched Rook find his body.
Now for my real complaint!!!
Rook never gets the chance to grieve Varric. They go from talking to him every day to finding out he's dead and it was all a lie. I have personally never been more fucking pissed at Solas than I am now. But Rook comes back and they have that kind of "closing off" scene with Varric's empty bed (which was so hard to go through btw). And then they fuck their pookie LIKE I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET ABT THAT
FYM I gotta find out my dad is dead and then Rook is up for boning like there's no fucking way unless it's to cope. And at least pertaining to the Lucanis romance, Rook is processing everything that happened and they can say "So much has happened, I just don't know how to feel."
And rather than getting to process that in some kind of way, the devs said nah this scene serves one singular purpose, and Lucanis says "I do" and then dicks them down.
Personally, I felt very dismissed despite being overjoyed about finally having the romance scene, I couldn't even enjoy it with everything that happened prior.
Rook deserved the chance to completely break down after everything they went through. Tbh i don't know how they kept it together. Varric said "don't get all misty eyed" and i thought to myself that's way too delicate a term for what's happening here, I was fully ugly crying.
Fuck your "I had a good run" I still need you bitch.
All this to say I'm very upset, and I'm running my second playthrough and every time I look at, hear, or talk to Varric I tear up again. Wtf Bioware.
Rook should've gotten the chance to actually talk about what Solas did to them, especially in the sense that he made them believe Varric was still there. Or at least get to properly grieve the person who was their closest friend for a long time.
I have very strong feelings about this obviously
#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age the veilguard#datv spoilers#datv#datv varric#dav#dav spoilers#dragon age#dragon age 4 spoilers#dragon age 4#dragon age dreadwolf#dragon age dreadwolf spoilers#dragon age varric#varric#varric tethras#da varric#dragon age the veilguard companions#dragon age the veilguard romance#lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#da4 lucanis#dragon age lucanis#lucanis x rook#lucanis romance#lucanis spoilers#taylor’s a yapper 🗣️
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Constant Companions Closeup #2: NOT QUITE THERE
(also on spotify!)
b-b-back once again
Round two of the Constant Companions Closeups - a series of in-depth dives into the songs off of my latest album, Constant Companions! Yesterday was track one, Dyad - today is track two, Not Quite There, featuring the incomparable telebasher!
This one's a bit of a dark horse relative to the rest of the album, but it may very well be my personal favorite song on the entire thing so dammit let's Yap
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For the uninitiated, this song pulls heavily from a song off my previous album called Gummyworm, both in vibe and by very directly quoting its synth motif.
Both of these songs deal with two sides of the same emotional coin. I actually don't want to go into too much detail about it - I feel like the lyrics spell things out clearly enough - but I will say this:
When it's all you know, it's easy to believe that a love that isolates you, a love that doesn't respect you, a love that hurts is better than no love at all.
You deserve better. There are always people who genuinely want what's best for you, who want you to feel truly loved. It certainly isn't always easy - it's genuinely good if your interpersonal relationships have a little friction sometimes - but love should make your life brighter.
You deserve a love that's fair.
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The original version of this song was actually intended to be on Bittersweet alongside Gummyworm. The original concept for that album had a whole heady concept involving duality, songs reflecting each other, the two halves basically being reprisals of each other... Ultimately, I'm glad I scrapped that idea, because it was waaaaaay too much for me to manage after a couple years of barely making music. Maybe I'll revisit it someday though?
The drums on this song are sampled from an Instagram post by Louis Cole, where he's doing this crazy one-handed hi-hat blast by holding a drumstick sideways. I'm a drummer and that shit genuinely scares me a little like i dont know how he does half the things he does its fucked BUT. I bring this up because he's one of my biggest inspirations as a musician! I'm really big on jazz in general, in case my love for spicy chords wasn't enough of an indication, but his specific brand of freaky hyperactive bullshit just does it for me.
Seriously, go watch his band KNOWER play their song Overtime. Absolutely insane performances across the board. also Clown Core
This whole song is really just my attempt at matching some of that hectic jazzy energy with my own style of music, so I figured it only made sense to make it another collab with another musician making delightfully frantic jazz bullshit - the legend herself, telebasher! I really am such a massive fan of her work, and I struggle to think of anyone who plays guitar quite like she does. We previously worked together on another Bittersweet track, Asemic Speech, and her guitar work is a major reason why that song is still one of my favorite I've ever released!! She's just built different like listen to this oh my god!!!!
Lastly, since this song was one of the first written for this entire project... it is admittedly a case of me shoehorning the album's leitmotif in after the fact. It's a little forced when it shows up in the backing vocals! But, the choir of vocal synths during the guitar solo served an additional purpose - my own voice doesn't show up on the album again for another four entire songs, and this would've otherwise been the only song on the entire album that didn't feature any vocal synths. Thus did I attempt to bridge the gap, as it were. Hopefully it makes the final product feel more natural!!
Either way, that's all for today's post.... i think.... which means that tomorrow.... we're gonna rot.... for clout
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Assigning WHB demons plants/flowers based off the vibes: Abyssos
⟡ Masterlist ⟡
A/N: I think I need to start attending some botany classes again bc from the way these post are turning into me rambling about plants i can tell I miss it :D
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Nepenthes rajah
I don't think this plant has a common name, but if it did it would be smth like Rat/Mouse eating pitcher plant
Bc that's exactly what the plant does
It's just big enough for the small rodent to climb into and never see the light of day again
This also probably explains why I picked it for Beel
I mean, he literally eats angels whole
(I find pitcher plants really cool bc they're literally just a pitchers filled with digestive fluid, but they're not necessary carnivorous - some life off of animal droppings or insects)
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Venus flytrap - Dionaea muscipula
At first i was gonna include maybe some other pitcher plant or completely different plant...
But then again, Bael is literally catching the King of flies on daily basis
Idk why, but looking at pics of the open leaves is really calming to me
Having them is kinda cool bc sometimes you just walk past and see one of their leaves closed bc it caught a fly and you'll feel kinda proud of your little baby for catching something
From my experience they don't close when you give them dead one, though
They might also be a bit harder to keep alive...
Mine made it few months, but then bloomed and died shortly after I cut the flower off (similar thing also happened to my friend who specialises in succulents and carnivorous plants so I don't think I did anything wrong)
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Poison Ivy - Toxicodendron
At first I was thinking I'll give Stolas something bird-named, but I really wantd somethinig that looks harmless, and the moment you mess with, you're in for a lot of pain
And this plant baby delivers
I've never had the misfortune of meeting it, but I haver heard the stories
For those who don't know: Contanct wiht the plant gives you a nasty rash, sometimes with some blisters
Interestingly, looking it up on wikipedia, there's even what would happen if you smoked or eaten it....
As if you'd wanna do that after getting a rash just touching that thing
(You skin is pretty much reacting to the oil on the leaves, so after you come to contact make sure to wash it off or you'll spread it on other things too)
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Hypoestes
I can only talk about this moody beauty from experience since there isn't much info online
From what I've found there's about 150 scpecies in this family
Doesn't require much sunlight, but needs water
And oh boy, the amount of water...
The reason why I picked this plant for Amon is how easy it is for the leaves to start drooping
Just like him being constantly tired
But oh boy, the drooping... One minute she looks good and then two minutes later she's on the verge of death
It's not good to have planters just sitting in water bc of the risk of mold, but this one might just need it
༺☆༻
Common Ivy - Hedera Helix
Originally I wanted to go again with a plant based off his animal form, but then while writing for Amon, I saw normal Ivy
The ultimate Dark Academia plant that looks so good growing around anything
It's perfect for a demon they sometimes call Class President
I really love Common Ivy bc of how much you can use her for
Amazing use for Ivy is putting her into floral arrangements and the amazing thing is that it'll mostly keep its color as long as it's not left out in the rain or your glue gun set on too high temperature
Fun fact: The leaves of the plant are different on normal branches from the branches with a flower
#what in hell is bad#what in “hell” is bad?#whb beelzebub#whb bael#whb stolas#whb naberius#whb amon#I just need to make it through a year or so of accounting studies and then I can apply to study botany at a college ^^
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Your art for it is so cute, what's Kamen Rider SD? I want to get into it :D
yesss.... fall into my trap... mwhahaha >:3c (also thank you ^v^)
SD in general means Super Deformed, it's a chibi style that's not unique to Kamen Rider (Gundam also has a bunch of SD stuff, mentioning it here bc i love those models :3)
But since you're asking in relation with my art, here's the ones I made art for:
SD The Great Battle
A series of videogames that's a crossover between Kamen Rider, Gundam and Ultraman characters, all in the SD style. An original character called Fighter Roar joins the team from the second game on. They're very fun and wacky game that don't really have a coherent plot but we love them for that :3 In IV they get a giant robot (Compatible Kaiser my beloved) and in V they're cowboys. I love the cowboy outfits so much. Games one to five have english fan translations, now I need someone to translate Gaia Saver because apparently that one has the Rider Killer lore....
Kamen Rider SD: Strange!? Man Spider (or simply Kamen Rider SD OVA)
If you've been around the fandom you probably already know this one. It's a 30 minutes short where RX and the other Battle Riders (Ichigo and ZX) have to rescue RX's crush from shocker, with the help of the Mechanic Riders (V3, X and Super1). Wild Team (Stronger, Amazon and Nigo) appears for like. 3 minutes total at the end but they're my darlings and I love them. Other very important thing in this short is the Rider Carrier, a giant robot grasshopper that acts as their base and I think every version of the riders shoul have a giant grasshopper base not just the SDs u.u This short is apparently an adaptation from the Mighty Riders manga, but I haven't investigated it yet so I can't confirm that. It's also connected to a couple more SD videogames, Sortie!! Rider Machines and Run! Mighty Riders (the team names come from here as far as I can tell)
Kamen Rider SD: Hurricane Legend / Kamen Rider SD: Legend of the Stormy Age
(listen. I know the direct translation is the first one. But the second one is on the back cover so if they gave it an official english title I'm using that :P)
This is probably the one you're asking for, but I wanted to use the excuse to talk about the other two :P
I'll be honest, going in blind on this one is probably the best experience. Do not look up panels you will get spoiled. The basic plot is V3 and Riderman travel around to recruit the other Riders to defeat Shocker. I want to talk about it more but again, I had so much fun going "WHAT!?!" while reading it that I must resist- Might post more about them but will tag it as spoilers
Other SD stuff that I care less about, for completionist sake:
• there's a third SD manga (Kamen Rider SD: Roaring Laughs School) that I know nothing of (I think it's a 4koma gag manga? I'll be honest I'm not very interested in it so I haven't done much research);
• the most recent SD game is SD Shin Kamen Rider Rumble, a game for the movie, but that one seems to be simply a side scroller so again, no interest from me;
• Lost Heroes 1 and 2 technically use chibi-ish versions of Riders, Gundams and Ultramen, and are part of the Compati Hero series (the same series as The Great Battle), but they don't have SD in the title;
•there's. sooooo many sports games in the Compati Hero series. I like the Battle Dodgeball ones :3 Also speaking of Compati Hero, special mention to Super Hero Operations because that's the next one I wanna play, I get to meet Zubat, Metalder and a bunch of others there :3
#kiri.text#kamen rider sd#.....should I tag each series.#sd the great battle#kamen rider sd (ova)#kamen rider sd: legend of the stormy age#...whoops it's been two hours since i started writing this i got carried away#also anon if you get into any of this feel free to come back and talk to me about them! :D I need someone to talk about them with!!!#anon or anyone that wants of course
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MACBETH AT HAROLD PINTHER (November 9th, 2024) - A REVIEW WITH SPOILERS
Now that I’m back home, I can write a considerate and not at all crazy and nostalgic post about Macbeth.
Be careful, if you haven’t seen it yet and you’re supposed to see it soon: this review has spoilers.
Please, forgive me if it has typos and if I repeat myself and if this post is so unhinged. I can’t help it, I need to vent my thoughts and feelings.
Watching Macbeth was an otherworldly experience. Something you can only dream of and when it happens it changes all your brain cells.
When David first appeared on scene, from the darkness of the first lines pronounced by the witches…well, I wasn’t expecting him. I kind of distinguished his silhouette in the shadow, and I wasn’t sure that it was him. But it was. And when the lights turned on and he appeared on the scene full of blood and gasping…well I think my world shattered. It’s hard to explain what happens when you finally have the chance to see someone you admire so much only from afar, an actor you’re so accustomed to watch anywhere everyday…and then he finally appears in front of you and he’s like materialising and it’s like magic.
I mean, he was there, with the bowl at the centre of the stage, and the blood stains and he was SO TALL and SO David and SO everything all at once.
I spent the entire 2 hours watching him from my STALL B7 seat, a PERFECT seat —because he occupies the scene at the right of the stage SO much… seriously, I was lucky to choose that seat and it was perfect. Of course watching the scene from upper seats would be awesome to better appreciate the mis en scene, but people… the HEARTACHE I got when I realized David and his brown expressive eyes were there, in front of me.
I couldn’t not watch him, the way he possesses the stage, how he moves perfectly, and the lines, and the tone, a mixture of Crowley and Staged 😭😭😭 I mean… there’s one little laugh he made at one moment that really made me think, “Ok, here’s our demon.”
And those few moments of hilarity, when they try to make the audience laugh (which I almost never did, because I was so tense for the dramatic effect of the whole thing), for example when he mimics another character’s tone to mock him. Ok, that was an original Crowley.
And then Macbeth turns into a tyrant, and he is suddenly even more indifferent than Kilgrave when he’s there on the stage, for those two killing scenes that made me shiver and gasp in outrage. Seriously, the gasp I made when I saw him with the kids…
and I trembled all night (also because it’s terribly cold in the theatre 😁).
ABOUT THE SCENES, MY FAVOURITE MOMENTS, THE STAGE AND THE DIRECTION
The scene of the apparitions is awesome. No rising him up, like at Donmar, fine, but still… incredible. With the red lights, and the actors with spasms…And the kid actor (Raffi Phillips during my show) was incredible.
I adored how they performed the Banquo ghost bit. Intelligent, brilliant. And David out of himself was perfection.
The slow motion. It was my fave artistically bit, I think. The first time it happens, you’re so surprised. It’s like watching a movie, only it’s theatre. But when it happens during the dance scene…I felt my heart explode. And the way he interacts with Lady Macbeth, the perfection of the music changing and slowing down…Oh sweet lord.
The glass. Gosh, I wasn’t expecting it. I mean, I knew there were actors around the stage and musicians and singers, but I didn’t know about the glass. And the actors punching the glass to mimic knocks and sounds…Incredible tension and suspence.
And the scene with Lady MacDuff and her son’s death was incredible, INCREDIBLE. Again, MAcbeth being there on stage, as if he was really there (which he is not), holding the kid to soothe him and then…throwing him towards the killer. I felt it in my bones, David THRIVES in those moments of pure evil and you can only loathe Macbeth for being like that. And the same happens at the end, with the killing of the kid during the last fight, and when he breaks his neck…The whole theatre gasped in unison, I swear.
MY GOD HE’S GOOD. He’s so good.
The trees at the end…it was all so perfect and pure and a bliss. I can’t really explain.
ABOUT DAVID’S OUTFIT AND MONOLOGUES
The monologues…how many lines does Macbeth have? He’s almost ever present on scene and he’s so good, perfect.
The “is it a dagger” scene was…🥹 I can’t explain. And whenever he sat at the corner of the stage, being there even if Macbeth is not there. It feels like meta-theatre, as if they are trying to make us feel what he feels, even if you’re not supposed to be by his side.
The way he said “tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow”, with his perfect Scottish accent. It blew my mind. I was out of myself by then.
The kilt… well…the kilt 🖤 I’m not a sucker for David in a kilt. I wasn’t. But I changed my mind. This outfit will hunt my dreams for…a while. Years to come. But even more than the kilt, his legs and socks, and the black jackets on the grey shirt. The jackets are seriously a masterpiece.
Also, David keeping the wedding ring on stage is the sweetest thing btw ❤️
The legendary hair band, which disappears towards the end to leave space to David’s own hands; I kept watching enamoured every time he threw his hand in his hair. I mean, that’s his mannerism, and I was there to see him doing it.
And his hands. Those scenes in which he came forward with his hands moving in the air… incredible. Also, those few times in which his eyes fell to the stalls and sometimes it felt as if he was looking right at you. Amazing 🥹
ABOUT THE CAST
The cast. Brilliant, talented performers, all of them. Again the kid, my gosh how good was he? And Banquo’s understudy (NIALL MACGREGOR) was GLORIOUS and he complemented David so well!!! I have no idea how good the first actor is, but believe me: this Banquo was…a perfect complement to David. Even in his appearance, and I can totally see him playing a fine Macbeth last Tuesday, too.
Cush’s understudy (JASMIN HINDS) was AMAZING. I haven’t seen Cush, obviously, but from the clips I watched online, she gives a different vibe to the couple relationship, and you can tell that David let her manage the intensity of their connection and touches on scenes. It was lovely. She was lovely. I found they had huge chemistry on scene, and they fitted together awesomely.
I think she was insanely good and I managed to tell her after the show, when she came out from stage door. She is a very nice and sweet person, and she also congratulated me for my 10th wedding anniversary when I said to her, silly as I am, that I came with my husband from Italy to watch a married couple dying on stage on the night of our 10th anniversary. She was amused, and she was lovely. I told her that I was glad I got to see HER on scene, and I meant it 💜
The “pause” for comic effect performed by JATINDER SINGH RANDHAWA was insanely funny. All the knock knock jokes, him laughing at the audience and mocking random people, Oasis and Blur references, inside jokes about canceling the shows… He was so funny and he was so good when suddenly everything went back to normal and he became serious again in the span of a second.
How good are all these actors!
And Macduff, played by NOOF OUSELLAM. You know what? He’s the one who made me cry. When he’s told about his family’s death…he was so insanely good and realistic in his reaction, and the tension and drama on scene was so palpable and I cried with him. He was incredible.
As much as MOYO AKANDE, who was probably my favourite surprise of the night. I love her, she’s insanely good. As much as everyone else.
In the end, I’m so lucky that I got to see David performing, because if I had booked last Saturday, I would have missed the show and I would have been incredibly sad and disappointed (probably for the rest of my life). And David wasn’t still in tip-top condition, because after the last fight scene (which is a very well choreographed fight with swords), when he kneeled, he coughed (and I’ve been told that was not in character) — and it was the only little thing that made you understand that he was sick the prior week. My god, he’s such a professional, getting back as soon as he could. He was perfect and this whole production was a rollercoaster of emotions and feelings and surprises and suspence. It really deserves the world and accolades.
And I know I did not get a chance to see David at Stage Door, but you know what? I don’t care. Because this was a weekend that I totally dedicate to Good Omens in general (we went to St. James’s, and Tavistock Square, and to the bandstand in Battersea Park, which is probably my new place of the heart (broken or not, one of my favourite places in the whole world, now). And watching David on stage after a year of obsessing over the show and him and Michael felt like a cathartic moment. Ok, it’s not like meeting him and talking to him, maybe. But it’s better: it’s watching him in his raw version, in his element. The theatre has this kind of magic that television can’t provide. And I’m insanely happy to have gotten the chance to attend to one of these incredible shows.
Now I know.
09/11/2024
#david tennant#macbeth#westend macbeth#harold pinter theatre#London#9/11/2024#99th show#Crowley#kilgrave#ineffable husbands#good omens
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I've gotten asks before why I don't like Daemrya or why I don't reblog stuff about them as I'm a Daemon lover and I sine I just saw a post saying you can't love Daemon without loving Daemyra I thought I'd explain my thoughts.
the main reason, I never felt it. It felt too forced to truly be real. it felt like the showrunners and writers were trying to make me like them together instead of letting me do that on my own which made me feel like hey didn't even feel it.
secondly, I have and always will see it as a political marriage. Do I think they care about each other? yes. Do I think they lust for each other? yes. But do I think they are in love? no. Rhaenyra literally had to dangle the crown an throne in front of Daemon for him to even agree to marry her.
and to the people saying "he slept with her the night of Laena's funeral." I say this. we know Daemon's way of mourning is fucking, fighting and drinking, its not sitting somewhere and crying. so to have Rhaenyra pretty much throw herself at him, why should he pay for a whore when she is so willing? now I'm not calling Rhaenyra a whore only stating what I think went through Daemon's mind.
third and final reason, I don't like Rhaenyra, never have never will, like seriously in the first episode I thought she was a ok character I didn't care about her and that has slowly turned into a hate. so why should I ship one of my favorite characters with one I hate? that doesn't make sense.
yet again, I never felt it, I never felt like they even really cared about each other more than what the other could give them let alone loved each other. so to me, that's not a power couple, that's not a couple I want to root for. so I don't root for them.
I do ship Alicent x Daemon and I definitely ship Laena x Daemon but other than that I don't like or care for other ships for him. I get the people who do like Daemyra I just don't get why they care so much that I don't.
#house of the dragon#hotd#alicent hightower#daemon targaryen#laena velaryon#anti daemon x rhaenyra#anti daemyra#anti rhaenyra targaryen#alicent x daemon#daemon x alicent#laena x daemon#daemon x laena#yes I am team green and yes i love daemon we do exist
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After eight, in the inner city, I hold the door for Astrid. We step inside the restaurant and heat hits our faces in a waft, warming our frozen skin. Astrid slips her gloves off, folds her hat and unzips her coat with ease as I struggle, suddenly far too hot in my hat, the zip of my coat slipping between gloved fingers. I’ve pulled it inside out by the time the cloakroom attendant takes it out of my hands. I have walked snow onto the carpet behind me, while Astrid, miraculously, has not.
“They’re all here already,” she says. “We’re the last.”
“Yes, like always.”
It’s a table for six, and there our friends sit in conversation, their menus already on the table.
“Oh, Astrid! Jude!” Elias gets up from his seat at the head of the table to hug us. His smile, big and white, and his face flushed from the heat.
“We’re late,” Astrid points out. She speaks apologetically, but doesn’t actually apologise. “But we have your gift.”
“Oh!” He takes the gift bag from her and kisses both her cheeks. “This is so nice, my God, Astrid.”
I bought it, actually; the scarf made with some kind of silk mohair something-or-other, but Astrid picked it out, so really it’s she that deserves the credit. He’ll think she wrote the card too, even though she didn’t. I’m the one with the nicer handwriting.
“‘Dear Elias, on your twenty-first birthday,’” he reads as we join him at the table. “‘Here’s hoping for a year as fabulous as you are. I hope I know you forever, and we can party together at ninety-one too. You won’t need the scarf in Bali, but we hope it keeps you warm when you touch back down in Berlin next month. With love, Astrid and Jude.’ Oh,” he holds it to his chest. “You two are so sweet.”
“You are not supposed to say happy birthday unless it is a person’s actual birthday,” says Leon, swirling his wine around and pretending he can smell notes of bergamot, or whatever the server said was in it. He takes a sip, then sends the bottle back to the kitchen.
“Oh, okay, sorry,” I say. “We should have posted the card to Indonesia. That was really stupid of us, you’re right.”
His nostrils flare while Jonas, next to him, peruses a menu.
“Wow,” he comments, “Forty seven euro for the monkfish. It seems expensive.”
“Well, it’s an occasion,” Leon says, as the server returns with a second, hopefully more acceptable, bottle of wine. “We all agreed to eat at a nice restaurant.”
I raise my eyebrows, “Oh? What occasion is it?”
“Elias’ birthday, of course, what are you-” he breaks off to mutter to the server, who then circles the table to fill our glasses.
“I thought we just agreed not to mention the birthday until the actual birthday, which is not today, right? What date is it, again?”
Dalia sighs from her end of the table. “Jude, oh lord.”
Leon rolls his eyes. “You are being immature.”
What’s actually immature is a twenty-six-year-old man making an unnecessary enemy of someone who still has the word ‘teen’ at the end of their age, but Dalia is already kicking me beneath the table before I can open my mouth to point this out.
“I would love to see Bali,” Astrid sighs. “When it’s so cold like this, I feel I can’t stand it. I just want to be somewhere nice and warm.”
Elias smiles. “Well, maybe for your twenty-first birthday, your boyfriend will take you there.”
“Well, we’ve just booked tickets to Amalfi, actually,” I say. “We’re going in April.”
“Oh, I love Italy.”
“Me too,” Astrid clutches his hand in hers, a gesture of excitement in their shared love of, whatever, gelato or something. They converse about places they’ve been, and what they’ve seen, using the correct, Italian pronunciation, which is fine, because that’s how they’re supposed to be pronounced, and Astrid is fluent in Italian, but sometimes when I’m privy to conversations like this, I think of Jen, and the way she’d laugh if she ever overheard them.
Whenever a natural gap opens up in their conversation, I consider adding in my own anecdote about the time I went to Rome on a school trip when I was sixteen, and the school was cheap, so they made us do the whole journey by bus, which was so boring that Fitzy and I started squeezing dollops of toothpaste into people’s hair as they slept and posing alongside them with our two fingers up. Our punishment took the form of the teachers revoking our passes to St Peters Basilica, so while the others were in there, taking zoomed in photos of Michelangelo’s tiny penis, we spent two hours roaming the streets in search of a Dominos Pizza, which we did eventually find. Mine slipped out of its box and onto the pavement before I had even taken a bite, and we posed for photos with our two fingers up next to that, too.
But I know that if I tell the story, and Elias won’t react the way I want him to, but gasp, and look very sad as though it’s a tragedy, and then later, Astrid will ask me why I decided to share the story in the first place, because it was kind of awkward. When Elias asks me if I’ve been to Italy before, I simply smile, and I say no.
“You will adore it, then. Will you hire a car?”
“I suppose we will, right? Makes sense.”
Astrid nods.
“Well, then, if you’re staying in Amalfi, you might as well drive to Sorrento. Leon and I once stayed in this incredible hotel with a sea view. I can find out what it is called.”
“Oh, please.” Her thumb strokes the back of my hand. “We could add one or two more nights to our trip, do you think?”
I smile. “Yeah, of course we can.”
He tells her about a restaurant that does gnocchi in such a way that is notably different from other gnocchis in the region, and they continue, even as the food arrives. Tiny portions. I forgot the name of what I ordered.
Across the table, Leon and Jonas listen as Dalia talks animatedly.
“Right, and then, the woman, whose name is Martha, by the way, turns to me, and she says-”
She is halfway through a story that needs more context than what I have. I open my phone.
Jen, just thinking about our school tour to Rome lmao. Oh my God - the one where the teachers caught Ashling Duggan hiding you under her bed in the hostel? Hahahahaha yes! I still tell people about that trip, like, it’s always my go-to story with new people. Same, we’re just at dinner now, talking about Italy. I was just remembering all the stupid things that happened. And didn’t Cian Hayes shit himself or something??? I’m always foggy on that specific detail. Yeah, and he turned his underpants inside out because he was too lazy to get out of bed.
Omg sick. What do your friends think of the story?
My thumb hovers over the keyboard.
Yeah, they laughed. Show them that compilation of photos of you and Fitzy with all your sleeping toothpaste victims. Oh, God, I don’t have those anymore. I think I left all my photos in Dublin. What a waste! I’ll go dig them out someday, and take them with when I come to Berlin. Okay! Come soon, please. I miss you.
I miss you too, Judie. It’s honestly so weird that you have a whole new girlfriend I haven’t even met. I know. It’s weird for me too, but you’ll love her. She’s amazing. I bet. She’s beautiful. Understatement. I don’t know how you keep pulling it off. Well, I’d be stupid if I didn't go out with her, wouldn’t I? Yeah, probably. Lucky you aren’t stupid, then.
Beginning // Prev // Next
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Aran's new style
Okay, I'm ignoring the worry of Aran suddenly being back in fancy clothes next ep. (Do NOT try to go back to Boss Alice. Please.) So let's have a little fun and look at Aran's outfits in the last three eps, with the assumption that he's had to borrow everything since there's no extra money.
T-shirt, jeans shorts and sneakers. Very similar to Hoy, and I think they are indeed Hoy's. The glitter tee is neither Tattoo's nor Hoy's style, but I like to think that Hoy got it at some point for "those nights out" and left it to languish at the back of the closet. Enter Aran, not yet allowed to touch Tattoo's clothes when there is a whole pile of Hoy's at the apartment and no Hoy to say no (not that he would, the sweet human that he is); so Aran paws through them like a raccoon to find the least objectionable, most glittery one.
Or since t-shirts are Tattoo's uniform it might also be his, though never worn. Perhaps given to him by Mama Jeab who saw it, liked it and thought it would bring suit her little nuu.
By ep 8 Aran has been allowed to paw through Tattoo's closet as well, but only the section Tattoo has deemed undesirable for himself.
(Aran is moving around so much I can't get a less silly shot :D )
There's the blue shirt which doesn't really fit either Tattoo's or Hoy's style but is big enough to belong to one of them. The sleeveless top could also be either one's. The sneakers are the same as before, so probably Hoy's.
The black shorts, however? They're (imitation) leather. They simply must be a misguided purchase of Tattoo's, who wears black and dark shorts but always in simple jean or comfy sweatpant fabric.
(Not only are Aran and Tattoo in similar colours, but Auntie Jeab's shirt is in harmony with Tattoo's purple, and the base colour under the red flowers vibes with Aran's shirt. Family portrait! Only Hoy is missing since he chose fiery red for the day.)
Then, after being supportive of Tattoo, Aran is allowed to the rest of the closet as well for his hospital waiting room look. The dark jeans are most likely Tattoo's, though the shoes are Aran's own pair. This look is similar to the one he has in ep 5 in the hotel, but inverted. Any light items are now dark, and vice versa. Instead of a tan top, though, he just wears none.
And the black shirt? We know that Tattoo definitely has at least one of those, since he wore one while incidentally making an impression that would make it into Aran's daydreams (as we saw when Aran messaged the gang after their first heist). So. uh. Aran wearing his crushes shirt on his bare skin, huh? I guess that's a though to distract me from his outfit in tonight's ep.
Ep 9 Aran is wearing an amalgamation of everyone's clothes in a harmonious style. Going by the assumptions so far we have Hoy's black sneakers, Tattoo's black leather shorts, and a soft sleeveless top that seems likely to be Tattoo's but combines Aran's original colours, black and cream. And the hat?
The hat with the piggy ears is of course made by Aran, and it is in Tattoo's colours. There's a post waiting in the drafts about all of that, but they're the same ones we see on his tools, in his home, on his flower tattoo. Now that is something to distract me... aand I'm thinking about it again. Oh well.
At least we'll have more data for the Aran vs. Rosé post that is also drowning in the pile of drafts, since in the preview they are again wearing cream and black together while being positioned on opposite sides of the shot. Ohhhh boy.
Okay that's it I guess, just get through Monday and we'll have more of the show tonight!
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