#but that is a lot of work that i dont feel like doing

[myfateislosingitspatience]

not for nothing, i've gathered a lot from writing fanfic, some very unhinged and heartbreaking. sometimes the connections made are intentional and conscious, and the work i know i'm doing is something i go in pursuing, in the act. other times, i get in my mind to write something on a whim and spiral into it only to suddenly make connections later and laugh and cry my way through processing something i hadn't even realized i needed to.

writing is an art, even if it's not your style of art that you like or understand, it doesn't take away the value. morals aren't meant to be applied to art either... so... there is that. art also isn't always about positive emotions but exploring the entirety of human existence, in all its shades. there are novels out there that do the same thing, many of which are classics.

if we could just let creativity be the safe space to simply feel, trauma dump, and "be" and vibe tf out in like it was meant to be again without imposing anything onto it, that'd beee greeaat.

especially in this capitalistic hellscape where we have so little that is still sacred and wholly human--flaws and all--that isn't for profit or productivity but just for us.

GODS! just let people live. let people have their freedom to be creative with their minds, and hearts, and souls on their journey. you dont need to like what an artist is doing because you can just not look or consume their art. that simple. that's the least amount of respect the arts and those who enjoy it for leisure still can be given.

i applaud any of you who create to any degree, in any form. do NOT let anyone force you into fear of not sharing it if you so choose.

This post is so funny like comment subscribe if you picture your favs bloodied and coughing on the floor and flinching

[pineconepie]

Hello! i was wondering if you could do serial killer/slasher yandere parent? Dont know if thats too dark tho 😅

Here it is!! I've gotten a few requests like this, and since a lot of people also want to see more willing readers, I added a little of that to the mix!

TW: Implied/attempted murder, loss of child, implied assault/creeps toward reader (not the yandad), parental yandere, light forced infantilization, violence, reader implied to kind of has issues of their own

You know it wasn't a good idea to walk home alone, especially in this hour of the night, and double-especially when there had already been six murders around the same general area you live in, all clearly by the same person.

But, your phone had died, you couldn't get an Uber, and there wasn't really anybody you could call to come pick you up, even if your phone was working properly.

So, you decide that walking home will have to work tonight.

That probably wasn't the best choice you've ever made.

When you're halfway to your house, you hear a slight rustling around behind you. You spin around, hoping to catch whatever (or whoever) was following you in the act of making the sound. There's nothing there.

Shaking your head, you continue to walk down the street, subconsciously walking faster.

It must be that murder case that's been hanging over everyone's heads lately that's getting you nervous like this, right?

Wrong.

When you start speed-walking, the same noise as before starts up again, but it sounds closer than last time. You don't have much time before someone tries tackling you.

In the corner of your eye, you see a gun pulled out from under their trench coat. Quickly reaching out for the murderer's arm, you grab it, and try to stop them from aiming at you.

You shove them away and run in the only direction you can without getting tackled; the alleyway.

Seeing there's no time to hide, and all the hiding spots are obvious anyway, you succumb to a panic attack and crouch down onto the ground with your head in your knees.

You take out what money you have and chuck it in his direction. "Please, just take my money and leave me alone! That's all I have! If you want my phone too, just take it!"

The man almost cackles. "I don't need any money," he states matter-of-factly. You can hear the grin in his voice. He walks slowly towards you as if to intimidate you more, though it does little to affect your mindset more than it already has. He's still holding the gun. "Don't take it personally. It's nothing against you. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

At this point, you've fully come to terms with your demise, which is clear to the other party.

You look up at him with puffy eyes from sobbing, and tears and snot running down your face. Most of his face is covered, but you can see his eyes.

And much to your surprise, you see them widen.

A few seconds go by, and now you're afraid to break eye contact. You watch as the man before you put his gun back in its holster inside of his trench coat and curse under his breath while looking away.

He clears his throat after a few more dramatic seconds go by. "Go home, kid." You stand up on shaky legs. "Grab your stuff first, then get outta here. I won't chase ya."

Hesitant, you do so anyway, because who would refuse such an offer?

Grabbing your money, you stuff it in your pockets and wipe your face. As soon as you're ready to go, you dash past the stranger, not wanting to spend another minute around the killer.

...

After that incident, you feel as if you're being watched.

Well, obviously you'd think so; you were just almost murdered.

But, when you're going to anywhere, you can feel eyes staring at you wherever you go.

A car with tinted windows follows each time. It isn't unique by any means, just a black Mitsubishi.

But still, it's there. Every time you leave your house, the same vehicle parks near you until you return to your home. Sometimes you try going on wild goose chases to catch the bastard following you off guard, but when you make your way back, it'll be parked somewhere near your driveway.

For almost two months this becomes a cycle, and it especially starts becoming concerning whenever you get sick, or have a bad day, there's always a basket of goodies on your porch steps the next day.

You don't eat them, and instead just throw them away, but it's clear none of them have been tampered with. The most disturbing part about it all is they have your favorites—your favorite animals now into plushies, your favorite snacks and candies, and other such things.

Is this his way of just messing with you until he inevitably comes to finish the job?

One night, when you're walking home from work, you notice the same vehicle tailing you from your workplace to your house. You walk with speed and reach your porch step, where the driver can see you enter your house, and they pull out, as if reassured you're safe.

Maybe they're trying to make sure you aren't hurt in any way?

Another night, one late, you stay out longer than you should, and much like any other time, you're followed once again.

Unlike normal though, there are three men whistling at you, taunting you. You ignore them as best as you can, walking faster and keeping your head down in hopes you won't seem interesting. Your wishes are not fulfilled.

Your arm is tugged harshly backward, pulling you onto the sidewalk with brute force.

The three guys look at you hungrily. "Where are you going this late at night?" the obvious leader speaks up, a greasy, slimy grin on his face, only worsening when he sees how fearful you've become.

"I...I'm going home."

One of them tries grabbing you, and against your better judgment, you take off in an attempt to escape, though you aren't fast enough to avoid your jacket being grabbed.

In your panic, you somehow end up wriggling yourself away and onto the ground. You try to get up, but one of them holds their foot on your back, pushing you back onto the asphalt.

But, oh-so-conveniently, you can hear a vehicle door open and slam shut, and then the pounding of boots against concrete.

The foot on your back lets up, because the guy goes tumbling backwards onto his back.

Now free, you sit yourself up quickly, rubbing the back of your head, which had hit the sidewalk. You blink the blurriness away, to see the man—the same one who nearly killed you and has been following you—hovering over the main creep.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem?!" said creep yells. He tries standing up, but the killer stomps on his ankle.

A crunch resounds through the air, accompanied by a sharp scream. The other two guys stand frozen, watching in horror.

"Get your little buddy and get outta here," he warns the other two, finally backing away. He has a gun pointed at them threateningly, as to tell them not to try anything else.

They quickly help their leader up and hobble away in fear.

You want to yell at this man, to demand answers or run, but you can't. "Thank you, sir..." you whisper.

Now you can get a good look at him. He looks to be somewhere in his forties, maybe even fifties, and has graying brown hair, along with gray eyes.

There's a scar along his cheekbone that adds a rugged charm to him. He smells like expensive cologne and coffee beans. If he didn't try killing you not too long ago, you might've really put your trust into him, he seems like just a grumpy dad.

"Are you alright?" His voice sounds oddly soft, as if genuinely concerned for your health. He reaches toward you, and you close your eyes, readying yourself to be hurt, but he only examines a bruise forming on your forehead. "Thought you learnt your lesson last time about stayin' out late at night."

"I don't think it'd matter either way. You know where I live, I've seen your car," you mutter. You don't look him in the eyes, hoping to avoid seeing any possible rage held within them. He doesn't say anything after that, so you continue. "Why are you doing this?"

A rough hand grabs yours, lifting you to your feet. "Do what? Save ya from gettin' jumped?"

"No! That's part of it, sure, but the gifts, and protecting me, and—and...you were just gonna kill me all those months ago!"

He sighs. "Yeah, 'were'. Not 'are'. I decided I ain't gonna anymore."

"But why?" you repeat, glaring daggers at the older man.

"I usually go after bad people. I mistook you for someone else, and then when you looked up at me like you did," he says while shifting his stance to a more firm position, "'all scared and hopeless and pathetic and—" he pauses suddenly, shaking his head to recollect himself. "Look, I saw my kid in you."

"You have a kid?"

"Had. Had a kid."

You almost want to apologize for the loss of his kid, when you remember the fact he's literally a serial killer. "And that's why you decided to stalk me for the past two months and give me baskets full of stuff?"

"We both know for a fact you hardly take care of yourself well enough. You're clumsy as shit, always irresponsible, you eat terribly..."

"I'm not being scolded how I live my life by a serial killer!" you interject. "Who even are you, anyway?"

"Dante," he answers.

"And I figure you already know everything about me?" It's less of a question and more of a statement at this point.

He chuckles. "If I didn't, would you still introduce yourself to me?" When he gets no answer from you, he smiles lopsidedly. "Get in the car, I'll drive ya home."

You narrow your eyes at him. "So you can kidnap me, or something?"

Dante puts a hand on your shoulder, his expression becoming cold again. "If I wanted to do that, I could have already done it plenty of times before, kiddo. I'm a lot of things; a liar ain't one of them."

"Fine, okay. I'll let you drive me home." You roll your eyes when you hear him laugh victoriously under his breath and follow him into his car. "How do you have the time all day to stalk me like this?" you ask aloud, climbing into the passenger's seat. "Don't you have anything better to do?"

"You call it stalking, I call it watchin' over you like a father should his child. So far, we've seen just how helpful it is having me keep an eye on you," Dante replies. He pauses. "And I'm retired, but I used to be a private investigator."

"Oh joy. My own personal PI." You buckle your seat belt. You're still in disbelief. Someone actually gives enough of a damn about your safety, and it's your local neighborhood serial killer? "You said you only kill bad people." He hums in confirmation. "Does that mean 'petty thief' bad? Or, like, actual bad people?"

"The latter, kid. Not 'cause it makes me feel like a good person, just makes me feel like less of a bad person."

"So you can admit you aren't a good person?" you quip sarcastically, arms folded.

"Course not. But I don't think there really are any inherently good people in the world," he says.

"What about me, then? Why protect me if you think there's nobody who's actually 'good'?"

Dante glances at you. "I don't expect you to be a saint. In my eyes, you're amazing, perfect even. And sure, you got flaws—a lot of 'em—but so does your old man."

You cringe at the statement. "You mentioned me reminding you of your kid. What happened?" you pry further. "All I know is they died, right?" You rub the bruise on your forehead.

"They were out with some friends one night. And a few hours later I'm gettin' phone calls about how my baby's in critical condition. I get there, but there wasn't anything I could've done to save 'em. All I could do was sit beside them 'til..." He trails off. "They died holding my hand. But," he adds, looking at you sternly, "that shit ain't happenin' to you. That's why I'm keeping you safe."

After he stops at a red light, you stare up at him, deep in thought. "Is that why you kill...?"

"Because someone killed my kid?"

"Yeah, exactly."

Dante nods his head after a moment of hesitation. "It started with that, yeah. I killed the bastards that put them in that hospital bed. But that wasn't enough. I guess with monsters like that, I get a little trigger-happy."

It's quiet for a while.

"...how do you know I won't come forward about this information?" you question once your home is in sight. "Or try leaving, for that matter?"

Dante laughs. "You wouldn't get far without me knowing."

That shuts you up quick. Your house pulls up soon afterwards.

"Well, uh, thanks for driving me home," you mumble, opening the car door.

"No problem. Oh, wait—" he takes your wrist gently to keep you from getting out yet. He digs in the compartment below your armrest. Eventually he finds a pen and pad. He writes something down, ripping it off and handing it to you. "—call me whenever you need it. Even if ya just need help studying, or whatever." Dante shrugs nonchalantly.

"Or I'll just knock on the window of the car outside my place?" You weakly smile. Despite the oddity of the situation, this whole scenario is strangely hilarious.

At least, it feels that way because you might've hit your head a little too hard.

...

Those people who were harassing you went missing. You know for a fact it was Dante, and while you don't wish for their deaths, it still leaves a sour taste in your mouth when you see them on the news, with their parents crying about how sweet and kind they were.

You don't even know how to feel about Dante anymore. Maybe he is a good person, who really is doing the world a favor, but it's just not worth the risk to associate with him.

Except he isn't going to leave you alone.

Still though, you decide that ignoring him until he just leaves you alone.

Which proves difficult because sometimes he comes around and knocks on your door every so often, to drop off food, and just check in on you and how you're doing.

Some days you wonder what might happen if you answer, or send a text. He did give you his phone number after all.

You fight the curious urge, until one day, when tiredly trudging home after a particularly awful day.

For some reason, you look around the streets for a black car following you, but find nothing of the sort.

You decide to go against your better judgment and decide to call Dante. You don't know why you're doing this, every instinct in your body is telling you to not do it.

The phone rings a few times, until an annoyed voice picks up. "What? I'm busy," he snaps.

"Oh, uh, sorry," you stutter. "I shouldn't have called, that was stupid of me—"

"Wait, no, I didn't—" Silence hangs in the air. "Sorry," Dante says softer this time. "Didn't know it was you at first. Is everything alright?"

Your fingers tap against the wood of the table nervously, trying to make up some sort of excuse to cover for the real reason you're calling him.

"Nothing, just... didn't have a good day." You feel so pathetic right now, too caught up in your own emotions to hear the muffled cries in the background on Dante's side of the call. "But that doesn't concern you, does it? Why am I saying this?"

"It's alright, kiddie. Whatever happened to make you upset is important to me." Dante is definitely smiling right now. "Well, listen. I was busy right now, but it can wait, so how's about I swing by wherever you are and you and I can spend some time together? Get somethin' to eat, maybe? Your choice."

You find it hard to decline him. "...okay. I'm not home right now though. Can I just call an Uber and meet you somewhere?" you suggest.

He snorts. "My driving so bad that you'd rather waste money than spend thirty minutes in the same vehicle as me?"

"No, it's not that. I just feel like I'll be intruding since you're busy, or something."

"Don't be silly. Just tell me where you are and I'll be there soon. Alright? Don't get into any suspicious vans or anything like that while I'm not there." He ends the call with that.

The next ten minutes or so you stand around awkwardly, watching as pedestrians pass by. Eventually though, Dante arrives, driving up beside you. He gestures for you to open the passenger door, which you oblige.

You climb inside, buckle your seatbelt, and turn toward Dante. "So...where are we going?"

He stares back at you for a brief second. "Depends. Where would you like to go?"

After some hesitation, you give your favorite restaurant, which he nods in acknowledgement to and begins to drive.

"Why was your day bad?" he asks. "Did something happen? Someone hurt you?" At the red light, he turns to give you a quick glance-over, searching for any bruises or cuts, most likely. You're not injured, though the concerned look on his face stays.

"No, I just haven't slept much lately," you mutter.

"Have you eaten today?" You look away from Dante as an answer, making him curse under his breath. "The biggest hazard to you is yourself, it seems." He shakes his head disapprovingly. "I'm glad you finally called me, by the way. Why'd you decide to do it now?"

You hesitate. "I was feeling lonely, I guess."

"Really? Is that all?" The light flicks to green again, and Dante continues to drive.

"...I didn't see you stalking me today. Normally I see your car following me everywhere."

His breath hitches. "And...that worried you?" Dante looks at you from the corner of his eyes.

You don't reply.

Soon the conversation dies out, and neither of you bother to start another one up.

He focuses on driving, while you distract yourself with counting the amount of trees along the sidewalk on the way to the destination.

When you two pull up in the parking lot, you expect there to be tension, but surprisingly enough, the silence between you two feels comfortable, safe almost. It's a nice change from the usual uneasiness.

Dante gets out first, and you follow. The bell of the restaurant dings when you both enter.

"How many?" the hostess asks politely.

"Two. Thank you," Dante says with a charming smile. To you, it's an obvious fake persona, but she buys it hook, line, and sinker. You roll your eyes discreetly as she leads you two to the booth. You sit on opposite ends, taking your menus from her before she heads off to take care of other customers.

You think about it, then settle for the cheapest thing on the menu, trying to avoid taking advantage of Dante's kindness.

He notices anyway. "I know I don't dress fancy, or anything, but I've got the cash, kiddo. If you want to order the whole menu, you could, and I'd still be able to afford it tenfold. Nothin' is too expensive for you."

"I..." Your face burns out of embarrassment. You flip through the menu once more. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am." Dante scans through his own menu, although half-heartedly, considering his focus is still mostly on you.

Once your orders are made, you both try making small-talk, which proves ineffective. Then your orders arrive, and that too, becomes awkward when he insists on helping you cut up your meal into smaller pieces.

You make a show out of being mad, though truthfully it isn't bothersome as you try letting on it is.

After dinner (which he pays for completely) he looks like he's contemplating on something in the car. "Would you like to come to my place, kiddo?"

"Like, your house?" you clarify.

Dante nods. "It's only fair. I know where you live, I figure it'd be polite showing you the same courtesy."

"Sure, but it depends if I'll leave alive," you joke, but part of you is still concerned about that.

"With the way you take care of yourself, I think staying with me might actually help increase your lifespan a little bit."

A few moments pass by, the two of you basking in the company of one another. It's...nice.

The drive to Dante's home is around thirty minutes long, and barely in the city, surprisingly enough. His house isn't anything super impressive, but it doesn't look bad either.

A very average, middle-class home. It's comforting to see Dante likes simple things, makes it easier to think of him as a normal person than the murderer you know he is.

He steps outside of the car and opens your door for you. You give him a questioning glance, but decide to ignore it for now, unbuckling and heading over to the porch with Dante trailing behind you.

"This is it," he states, pulling his keys out to unlock the door, beckoning you to go in before him.

The interior of his home isn't anything special either, which you enjoy seeing. It makes Dante seem more human. On top of that, it feels safe here, even if this is the last place it should feel this way. It does have a slightly annoying (and worrying) scent of bleach permeating throughout the house.

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Can I ask something? It might be a little weird or triggering, so..."

"You can ask me anything. Doesn't bother me," Dante says.

"Okay... are you so interested in me because I simply look like or act like your kid? I'm worried you expect me to act like them or something similar..."

Dante sighs heavily, sitting down on his couch, and motioning for you to join him. Hesitantly, you do so, staying silent while you wait for him to gather his thoughts.

"I know you're not them. Sure, you remind me a bit of them, but you're your own person, too. It's fine if you don't want to pretend you're anyone but yourself, y'know? That ain't what I'm looking for, and forcing someone to do that wouldn't make anyone happy." He mulls over his words for a moment. "I guess I just want to be a dad again. I felt useless after my kid died, so you gave me that opportunity again."

You look at the ground awkwardly. "Why couldn't you just adopt a kid?"

"A lot of money," Dante answers. "Not to mention not working anymore and not being married anymore makes adoption agencies wary. Plus, you looked like you needed protecting, so I wanted to do so. Now, my turn. Why'd you invite me out? Wanted to spend some time with your old man?" Dante laughs lightly, but his eyes show clear hopefulness.

"If you insist on acting like my father," you pause, taking in a breath, "then yes. I suppose that means I wanted to spend time with you. Is that okay?"

Dante looks almost ready to cry. His hands twitch at his sides. "'course it is," he mutters softly, barely containing himself from getting overly emotional.

You scoot closer to Dante, hesitating for only a few moments before wrapping your arms around him. "Thank you for inviting me into your home."

He reciprocates quickly, holding onto you like a lifeline, face buried in your hair. "I missed this so much..." His voice is choked-up as he holds you tighter to him. "My baby," Dante whispers.

You don't know why you're letting this happen, but you don't want to dwell on that. His embrace is more comforting than it should be, especially considering what he is. But if he wants to play pretend, to imagine he has a child again, you may as well let him.

Even if that means ignoring the faint noises from the basement, and pretending it's just someone next-door.

"I love you so much," he mutters. He almost sounds hysterical, even if his tone is quiet, almost a whisper. "Never leave me. I can't take that, kid. I can't."

You pretend to be asleep, just so you won't have to answer that. He sighs and only holds you tighter.

[lostpiewrites]

Red Light Green Light 🚦

a/n : here you go with my first ever post. Im so excited and so nervous at the same time. I hope you guys like it. And idk the art credits , if you do , please let me know.

Warnings: written with a fem!s/o in mind , manga spoilers and characters may not behave canonically , it's my interpretation of them so feel free to disagree... Also , i have counted potential trauma trigger factors as red flags ; if it doesnt count so , please let me know so i can improve.

THE RED AND GREEN FLAGS OF BLUE LOCK GUYS IN A RELATIONSHIP :

Michael Kaiser

Red Flags 🚩

Manipulative asf. It's canon in the manga that he reads psychological books to understand and control people better and that applies to your relationship as well. He will pull tricks on you to avoid accountability and responsibility most of the time.

Physical Trauma. I haven't seen any headcannons stating this but this man was abandoned by his mom and was constantly abused by his father. So physical affection might be awkward and stiff at the beginning because physical contact without getting hurt is a foreign concept for him. (But gets used to it if you are patient enough with him)

Green Flags ✅️

Spoils you A LOT. Princess treatment at its peak. We have seen how angry he got when his dad harmed the only thing he owned in his childhood , his soccer ball. He values his possesions and treats you like you are something he is proud to own.

If you get past his exterior and find the traumatized little boy in him , he is insecure and has some abandonment issues from his mother. So he treats you in a way that would make you want to stay with him. (Idk if its a green or red flag tbh)

Alexis Ness

Red Flags 🚩

Has OBSESSIVE attachment issues. Have you seen this man around Kaiser ? He is like a servant. Gets EASILY attached or addicted to people , possessions or habits. This results in two different bad outcomes : One is that if you ever were to break up with him , he probably would cause problems because he doesnt want to let you go or would guilttrap you into staying. The other is because of his easily-attached nature , its way TOO easy for him to gain addiction to harmful things like gambling , smoking etc.

Indecisive and constantly nerved. We have seen how nervous he got when he received the last ball in the last PXG match , thinking about what he should do. That is the energy he would constantly have. You can't leave this man alone on choices. He can't do nothing by himself. It is always on you to plan dates , outfits etc.

Green Flags ✅️

This man is your no1 supporter , your personal cheerleader , no1 hypeman. Right from wrong. He defends you so fiercely that he makes people think that you are his god. You may be defending sth ridicilously wrong like p0rn addiction but he is right there defending it with you like his life depends on it.

Isagi Yoichi

Red Flags 🚩

KING of overthinking. His analiytical mind works against him in relationships. You could have just told him "no" to something simple as an ice cream flavor , he is over there thinking that you dont love him anymore , your relationship is over and whatnot.

He doesnt mean to but when he gets angry , his words gets so agressive that he can call you a wh0re out of nowhere. (slursagi moment here) So arguments with him are mostly heated and doesnt really end well.

He is a socially awkward bean as its implied in the light novel, so getting him into crowds is a huge work. Constantly avoids family or friend gatherings.

Green Flags ✅️

This man has a loving and functioning family and knows how to treat a woman so expect to be treated like you deserve , like the queen you are.

He constantly learns things about you and tries to apply it to himself , just like he does with soccer. What you like ? What you dont ? Your love language ? What makes you happy ? What makes you cringe ? All of it. And he REMEMBERS. Dates , people , everything.

Itoshi Sae

Red Flags 🚩

WORDING. This man has issues with how he talks to people. Have you seen the way he treats his younger brother ? He is a terrible communicator. His words are blunt , unfiltered and even tho he may not mean bad , they sting most of the time.

Time issues. This man STRUGGLES to make time for you when he is busy with his soccer schedule. Doesnt put you at his first priority , you are always behind soccer in importance to him. (Unless he feels like you are THE ONE for him)

Green Flags ✅️

He is always attentive to your needs. He doesn't talk much but his actions does. Big on acts of service. You wake up to see a small breakfast , a coffee and a note saying to take care of yourself. Mention you need sth in a convo ? Next day its on your door with a parcel.

Itoshi Rin

Red Flags 🚩

He is apathetic most of the time. Sometimes you aren't even sure if he loves you or not. It takes a lot of effort to making him care for sth other than soccer and his elder brother.

Green Flags ✅️

This boy LIVES for the day that Sae will finally acknowledge him. And if you are dating him , your opinion matters to him too. He LOVES praises , especially coming from you. So you praise him on his skills at anything , especially at soccer , he will melt into a puddle in your arms. He will deny it with his life but he loves being acknowledged and seen.

This brings me to the second point. He sees YOU because he knows what it feels like to be seen as a shadow of somebody else. He doesn't outwardly complement you but he shows through actions that he sees your effort and is proud of it.

Helps you study or finish your tasks. His English knowledge is otherwordly and canonically doesn't really care for any other lesson than English as it will not do any good to his soccer career but will put in effort to learn a spesific lesson so he can teach you.

Mikage Reo

Red Flags 🚩

Growing up as a nepo baby , he got everything he wanted. He still does. And it makes him unable to understand the struggle of other people who are working 8am-5pm and living paycheck to paycheck. He isnt outwardly rude or insulting but silently judges when people mention something being expensive or that they need to save up.

Again as a nepo baby , he never learned how to control money. So without an advisor , he would go bankrupt in an instant. He wastes money like he has a personal problem with his dad's bank account.

Being a rich kid , he has always thought that people come to him for money. (I think this is something we all agree upon as the blue lock fandom.) So he has trust issues.

Green Flags ✅️

Has no problems buying you anything you want/need no natter how "expensive" you think it is. My mans is rich. 🙂‍↕️

Have you seen the way he puts in effort with Nagi ? He will physically drag you to kitchen if you forget to eat , will force it down your throat if you forget to drink water, will wake you up in time. He is just happy he finally has something he feels he earned and deserved , so he doesn't see anything wrong with cooking a full course meal half sleepily at 3 am for your midnight cravings.

Bachira Meguru

Red Flags 🚩

My boi is schizophrenic. Canonically. I know it's because of something sad like having no friends and trying to cope , but no healthy mankind would have an "imaginary" friend.

Has hyperactivity issues /ADHD. This may not count as a red flag as it's a health condition but days with him is TIRING.

Green Flags ✅️

Anything you do with him turns out to be funny at the end. He knows how to have fun and entertain you , so dates with him would be something you always look forward too.

You're not only his first girlfriend , but also one of the first ever friends. So he treats you more like a girl bestfriend than a girlfriend.

Shidou Ryusei

Red Flags 🚩

I have seen a headcannon that he is raised by his grandparents because his parents were neglectful/busy with work. And i believe that with my whole heart. So he has family issues too. He grow up as rowdy and energetic as he is because he got fed by his grandma's delicious cooking which gave him a superhuman energy boost and had little to no supervisor by his side. (Poor grandparents tho , how they can handle a boy child at that age ? )

Probably has sexual trauma. Because the way we have seen him oversexualize himself and people around him is usually a trauma response.

Has anger management issues. No one can convince me otherwise.

Green Flags ✅️

This man is up for ANYTHING you want to do. Your no1 partner in crime. You can text him something like "i wanna go to a haunted escape room" in the middle of the night and he is at your door in 5 mins with a camera for photos , a few snacks and ready to go.

Brags you to his friends like you are the only thing worth of talking. Shows you of to anyone who asks and goes "you see that gorgeous sexy woman there ? Yeah , she is mine".

Is your guard dog. In LITERAL meaning. He has a tendency to get physical at the slightest trigger and will defend you like you are his treasure while wearing the proudest smirk.

Otoya Eita

Red Flags 🚩

LOYALTY. I don't think i have to even say it. This man has commitment issues and an infamous reputation as a cheater. Leaves you wondering if you are actually his girlfriend or one of his sidechicks. You can never be 100% sure with this man and this causes HUGE trust issues in your relationship.

Doesn't take things really seriously. Unless you force him to listen , care or do something ; he just laughs it away and acts like nothing happened.

Green Flags ✅️

This man is a comedian at heart. Can make you laugh even when you are ugly crying over a failed exam.

Flirts like it's his second nature. Annoyingly smooth with his words and actions. (It's a green flag when it's against you but a red one if it's against other girls tbh)

Karasu Tabito

Red Flags 🚩

Another born-to-be-a-womanizer. Mostly under the effect of Otoya on this topic , he rubs off on him.

Green Flags ✅️

Will make you feel special around him. Because to him you are the most beautiful girl he ever laid eyes upon and he will make you feel like it. He leaves no room for you to feel insecure about anything.

Oliver Aiku

Red Flags 🚩

Yet another charming flirt. Probably the biggest one yet because in the manga we have seen him with two girls in the same time , one of them just ambushes him and catches him with another. 😔 He has had a lot of partners before you and it makes you feel like you are another insignificant person in his life and he will have a lot more after you.

Green Flags ✅️

Even tho it may be a bad thing that he has had a lot of partners before , it also makes him experienced. He knows how to handle a crying woman , what time and where to take you out on a date , helps you on you period etc.

He IS responsible , even tho people may not see him so. He is a team captain so he knows how to take responsibilities and carry them.

[grahstumhurts]

𝙍𝙪𝙜𝙗𝙮 𝙋𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙚𝙧! 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙭 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙚𝙮𝙚

𝖧𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗇𝗈𝗇𝗌

ᴷᵃᵗˢᵉʸᵉ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉⁱʳ ʳᵘᵍᵇʸ ᵖˡᵃʸᵉʳ ᵖᵃʳᵗⁿᵉʳ.

CW : Mentions of injuries, Suicide mentions

I decided not to include Yoonchae because these half-shots kinda have darker under tones and i dont exactly feel comfortable writing for her with a darker light.

ᴍᴀɴᴏɴ - ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ (ʜᴏᴏᴋᴇʀ) - ᴴᵉʳᵉ ᶜᵒᵐᵉˢ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵐᵃⁿ ᴮʸ ᵗʰᵉ ᵖⁱˣⁱᵉˢ

The first time Manon had ever watched a rugby game had been when Megan took Katseye to Hong Kong to visit her family. Hookers have the largest impact on the scrum, They have to guide the ball out of the scrum and out to the scrum half. This has to be perfected as one wrong move and the ball will be stolen by the other hooker or will be kicked out too hard. This perfectionism is what drew Manon to you as she watched you on the Pitch, Your props pushing the other team back as much as they could as your leg nudged the ball out of the scrum for your teammate to pick up. Your attention to detail isn't only on the pitch but in lots of other aspects of your life, Manon admires your organized schedules. In her usual life, Her room stays messy until she finds the motivation to clean it. With being a hooker comes lots of hip flexibility which she is glad to help with, Stretching and a post practice routine is how you’ve maintained the flexibility to hold your own on the pitch. Though being smaller than Manon, Your muscles are quite a lot larger than hers, Especially in your legs. She loves watching your games, cheering you on at the side lines as you make tackles. She worries a lot about injuries, Physical and mental ones, Pushing you to go to physical therapy and talking therapy when you need it. The one time you don't listen to her and skip your physical therapy appointment, The next game you dislocate your shoulder. One moment you're running, pushing back defenders with a stiff arm, The next you're on the ground with the wind knocked out of you as your shoulder burns with pain. Your writhing on the ground as the referee stops the game to assess you. As you're being taken off the pitch. Manon runs down from the stands, holding your hand as they guide you into the medical room. During your recovery period, You two would just cruise around in Manon’s car, Singing any song that came on in your shared playlist. The contrast between the old rock style music and Manon’s more modern pop music makes the playlist more diverse as the two of you influence each other. 

ꜱᴏᴘʜɪᴀ - ʙᴀᴄᴋ (ꜱᴄʀᴜᴍ ʜᴀʟꜰ) - ᶜʳᵘⁱˢᵉ ᵇʸ ᶠˡᵒʳᵈⁱᵃ ᴳᵉᵒʳᵍⁱᵃ ᴸⁱⁿᵉ

You had grown up as a country kid, Raised in the rural areas doing farm work and playing American Football. Only when you found rugby did you feel like you really belonged in sports, Being the more masculine kind of person only really made you stand out more when you got into high school. Your true passion was always rugby. As a scrum half, you control the ball going into the scrum, which means that you need to be quick on your feet to receive it. Your agility keeps Sophia mesmerized while she watches your games, you navigate the defense with ease. With your play style of unselfish playing, passing off to your teammates whenever the opportunity is open, It's uncommon that you score a try. But whenever you do, Sophia is always there to celebrate after the matter. She’s always there to help you with your pregame and post game routine, Her “Mother-ly” status in Katseye makes it easy for her to fall into the routine of helping you cook food. In return, you make sure to buy her flowers whenever coming home from a game and that she knows that every try you score is for her. On game days, She would always text you “good luck” with a heart emoji. This game had been quite a normal one, when a scrum occurred. You rolled the ball through your teammates legs and picked it up, tossing it to your teammate who were already aligned for your team's attack. The scrum broke off as your Fly half runs up into the defense, passing it back down to you who was running at pace. You quickly pivot, your foot planted for a side step to quickly change directions as you felt a pop in your knee. You immediately felt a searing pain as you collapsed onto the pitch. After you were taken to the hospital by the team medics, You were ambushed by a petrified Sophia who had heard from your teammates that you were at the hospital. After finding out that you had torn your ACL, Sophia promised the doctors she would take care of you. You two spend your time together cooking, going to the beach, and hanging out with the other members. You can't take showers without your country music playlist in the background, as much as Sophia pretends to abhor your music taste she can't deny that slow dancing to Chris Stapleton and Luke Combs is something she misses while she's away during Katseye’s comebacks.

ᴅᴀɴɪᴇʟᴀ - ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ (ᴘʀᴏᴘ) - ᴶᵃᵖᵃⁿᵉˢᵉ ᴰᵉⁿⁱᵐ ᵇʸ ᴰᵃⁿⁱᵉˡ ᶜᵃᵉˢᵃʳ

Your larger frame intimidated Dani at first. Once she saw past the facade she realized you were more of a gentle giant. Props are the main source of power in a scrum and are majorly important in securing the ball during it. You pour a lot of your energy and anger into rugby as its your way of “destressing” in a way, The physicality of the sport to you is what drew you into it. From the moment you played your first match you knew you were made to play rugby, Especially growing up in a rugby household. Your family watched the 7s yearly back home in LA, so it felt right when you joined the USA 7s team and made your debut in LA where Dani first met you. She was enamored by your soft spoken “gentlewoman” attitude, Her more extraverted self felt drawn to your down to earth personality. Dani definitely tries to tackle you any chance she gets when you're standing near the couch in the Katseye house. The other members sigh as you two play fight, They have to pull you two off each other when it goes on for at least two minutes. Your on pitch demeanor in contrast to your off-pitch personality is like watching two different people in the same body. On pitch you lead by example, making the tough tackles that bring down the offense, clearing space for your backs to gain momentum, and following the plays of your scrum half. Off pitch, you're a tired teddy bear, Cuddling with Dani any free moment. Whining and pouting when you have to move, You're her muscle when she needs to move some furniture or when she's out and about to scare some pushy guy off. Only when you come home from a tough match, to see her already sitting on your apartment's couch. She watches you limp to the bedroom and hop into the shower. She doesn't prod, or push. She lets you cool off in the shower, allowing you to come to her when the time is right. When you’ve cooled off, you collapse into her arms. A mess of limbs and curls wrapped around you as you vent about your match. What had occurred was when you were pushing through the scrum, your quad started to burn as you broke out and off your hooker. You tried to brush it off, running head first into the offense. Trying to clear off some players for your team. Your coach had noticed the slight limp in your run and immediately pulled you off, Your pitch side medic told you that you had acquired a muscle strain in your hip flexor. Dani consoled you, scratching your scalp in all the right places, Kissing your forehead when you paused sentences. Showing she cared, without saying anything. The next morning she had already texted Sophia to ask for advice on what to do, and had made up her mind that she was going to take you to your physio appointment. She held your hand as you were poked with needles and wires, Instruments and stretches you were made to take home. She set up a checklist on your phone that linked to her phone as well to make sure you were doing your necessary treatments and exercises. She didn't need to say anything to you, but she took care of you. You two bond over your shared taste in RnB, You two laze in bed when both of you have a day off. Just listening to your shared playlists. Back hugs while she cooks you two brunch is what makes these off days special for her. 

ʟᴀʀᴀ- ʙᴀᴄᴋ (ᴡɪɴɢᴇʀ) - ² ʰᵃⁿᵈˢ ᴮʸ ᵀᵃᵗᵉ ᴹᶜʳᵃᵉ

Score the most tries, is what you’ve been told throughout your professional career. You’ve held trophies of being the tournament MVP, But nothing could still fill that void in your heart. You longed for something deeper than tries and conversions. That something was Lara Raj, She came into your life when you least expected it. While you were in recovery from a Suicide attempt, She marched straight into your life and brought color back into a once gray field. The love for the sport you’d been playing most of your life had come back as Lara spread the different shades of Crimson red, Coral orange, Cobalt blue, Periwinkle purple, Sage green, back into your life. You two had met through an unexpected mutual, Her high school friend had coincidentally been also your college friend. From the moment you two locked eyes you hit it off, You're as obsessed with her as she is with you, The amount of admiration the both of you have for each other can be felt in the spaces you share. Her side of the shared bedroom in the Katseye is filled with photos of you two, faces flushed, Cheek kisses, Lipstick stains. Your hoodies intermix in her regular rotation of pajamas. Your apartment holds her favorite flowers in vases she specifically bought for you, Her hair ties on the nightstand next to the bed you two share. Matching phone lockscreens, all the couple stuff that makes people automatically know how much she means to you. You listen to her music when she needs a second ear, play the drums when she just “Needs” the acoustic drum sounds. She sits on your lap as she writes lyrics in her book, while you scroll lazily on your phone. But on pitch, your cleats have an engraved L.R in a heart on the side. She knows every try you score and convert is for her, In a way that is unique to the both of you. The field is your second home in a way, You sprint through the defense using all the energy you can to make it through on your feet. The ball safely tucked under your arm as you weave through defenders that you push off strongly to reach the try line. You dive onto the ground as the line is pushed behind your feet, The ball roughly jammed into the pitch as another 5 points is awarded for your efforts. But you know when you walk off that pitch and into the tunnel, a bigger reward awaits you with her arms open, Her hair smelling of cinnamon and coconut.

ᴍᴇɢᴀɴ - ꜰᴏʀᴡᴀʀᴅ (ᴘʀᴏᴘ) - ˢᵘᵐᵐᵉʳ ᴮʸ ᴷᵉˢʰⁱ

You grew up in the coastal city of Hong Kong, Yours and Megan's parents had actually been friends in college before your parents decided to move back to Hong Kong to have kids. You had been enamored by the beauty of rugby from a young age, its ruthless physicality and brute strength. When you had the opportunity to join the Hong Kong 7s team, you immediately accepted. Megan at the time had just debuted with Katseye, Her press conferences and performances had taken over her life. By the time the 2025 7s season rolled around you had been promoted to a starter. Katseye’s activities had died off and the members went their separate ways for a break, Megan had gone home to Hawaii. Your parents had invited her and her family to come to Hong Kong to watch you play, something they could not pass up since your parents and her parents had only seen each other once since they had moved. The way you hustled on the pitch, A smile permanently plastered on your face, had a warming feeling for Megan. She had seen clips, Heard her parents talk about your amazing skills, But to see them in person. That was different. It was as if she could feel the excitement and happiness for the sport you loved off your body as you sprinted up and down. A reunion dinner for both families, The Skiendiel's and L/n’s, had been long overdue. You and Megan’s personalities matched each other, Bouncing off lame brain rot jokes like a ping pong game. The Katseye members refer to your relationship as a Golden retriever and an Orange cat. You two clicked like two Lego pieces, as if you were made for each other in a sweet, comforting, kind of way. She tries to teach you how to dance, watching you flail your limbs trying to copy her instructions. While you try to teach her how to spin pass a rugby ball, Unsuccessful but it was worth a try. She's the rock in your life, Keeping you grounded when you float off into imaginary land. On the pitch, your largeness had earned you the position of Prop. You harness your brute strength each time a scrum is called, Pushing against the shoulders of the opposing team. Scrums had to be your favorite moments each game, Making jokes with your other teammates and even sometimes the other team. Your goofiness is known worldwide on and off the field,  You pour your heart into what you love and that was what drew her to you. Your personality on the pitch and off the pitch had been a siren song of sorts to her. When your already short season had been cut even shorter due to a serious knee dislocation, it had taken a large toll on you. After your surgery, you had already decided on visiting Megan in the US. She had come to the airport, in her disguise, waiting patiently. Sign in hand as you were wheeled to the exit by staff. The weeks you two spent together let your relationship flourish, She drove you to your appointments, While you cooked her dishes from home to reminisce. The Kats were grateful she had someone who could “Match her freak”, In the sense that you two complement each other in every way. 

[emeraldtintedsword]

seconding the sentiment that the ideal game would take a lot of pressure off of the GM. this is something ive spoken to a lot with the blogger of Fae Errant. to quote one of their posts...

> because a huge portion of the fun is actually the rules, not the content. Getting lost in the dungeon is exciting and tense because you made the players map it out on a sheet of printer paper without exact measurements and they are running out of torches. You didn’t prep that, no one designed that. It happened because the rules (procedures procedures everywhere). The entire point of a rules system, imho, is to get you into interesting situations. If your rule set isn’t helping you find interesting situations, find a different rule set, or better hack something into that one to make interesting situations happen.

from In Defence of Mediocre Content

i think that this is also a pretty solid criticism of rules light games in general actually, not just peoples approach to 5e etc. a lot of those texts leave out the mechanics that create the interactions from which emergent experiences/interesting situations unfold. in doing so, they make it significantly harder to run because the experience is being far more left up to the quality of the content (adventure or whatever) and the person running it. much more has to be done manually to fill in the gap left by the effort that the system could be doing for you.

THAT BEING SAID i also think that rules light games specifically rely on their users having experience with broader RPG conventions - they expect the GM to know how similar games typically run, what rules or experiences they might include. and so, if the GM is experienced in those play styles then they can get by alright, pulling in whatever they think they need to run it. but the problem is two fold - very experienced GMs believe that "system doesnt matter" because they dont realise they are using the rules and conventions remembered from previous games theyve learnt or played, AND new GMs being introduced to rules light games lack that context and so run hollower games which need to be filled in with more effort on their part.

... i would also add, i think a lot of GMs have a play style focused around being heavy handed conductors of play. they step in, add emerging monsters when things get boring, push and pull and try and create satisfying rollercoasters of tension and ... whatever. theyre trying to create a Narrative, and putting in effort to actively maintain entertainment for the players. which i think its broadly absolutely fine, and to a lot of people it sounds like a very desirable approach. buuuuut it takes a lot of effort! it can be very exhausting for the person running the game, and can diminish the feeling of agency for the players. i sincerely think there needs to be a greater appreciation for games that are basically set up like episodic TV shows lol. dungeon crawling is really fun, and it is formulaic because the formula rocks actually. (classic) Traveler is a game that Fae Errant often goes on about that succeeds at that really well. just set the game up and enjoy as the wonderful experiences spring forth on their own

anyway. ramblings at midnight. hope i dont come off as elitist anywhere here (talking about play cultures is often dangerous), i just... hope that GMs put less effort into their games lol. the burnout isnt worth it!!!! i promise itll be fun!!!!!! the system should work for you, you shouldnt be a slave to its maintenance!!!!!!

I honestly think we could do with less "a good DM would do [whatever it is a good DM would do]." A lot of the time that type of advice boils down to "a good DM would realize that this particular part of the system actually sucks ass and ignore it," which is actually a statement I'm not sure I agree with most of the time: it has basically emerged from a D&D culture of play that puts a certain type of play on a pedestal and considers the type of play that D&D produces natively to be pedestrian. A lot of the time when you hear "A good DM would ignore the rules in order to produce a better experience" it does, to an extent, come from a place of understanding what sort of experience the game of D&D produces but with a preconceived notion that said experience is dysfunctional and bad.

But also a lot of the advice given kind of sucks ass. I don't think you need to be able to redesign a system on the fly to be a good DM. I actually think the specter of the "good DM" is somewhat harmful, because it lets game design off the hook and furthers this idea that there aren't any good games and games are only "good" once a good DM has had a chance to tinker with it.

Anyway, in my opinion you shouldn't need to be "a good GM" to run a game. The ideal game would actually take a lot of the pressure off the GM (or Storyteller or Narrator or MC etc.) so that they can simply run the game as is and if the game has been designed well get a consistent good experience out of it. We shouldn't saddle GMs (or DMs) with the expectation that they must somehow elevate a game above itself to make it produce a "real" roleplaying experience befitting us distinguished nerds. I think D&D is cool and I think dungeon-crawling is cool and I think all the nerds who think dungeon-crawling is beneath them and D&D needs to be "saved" by making it not about dungeon-crawling should go. Idk I don't even want them to go play other games because I like other games and frankly those people sound exhausting to play with regardless of game.

Anyway so the point of this rambling post is: you should not need to be "a good DM" to run a game. A good game would take your hand and help take the pressure off running the game. Putting the onus on "a good DM" is letting the game off the hook. Anyway here are a few realizations that I think can make anyone a good GM:

Realize that games are designed for a purpose and that if a game is designed well you should not need to modify it on the fly.

Following from the above, realize that if a game is not doing what you want it to do it's not necessarily the game being bad but your desires not matching up with the game's.

Realize that it's usually much easier to just play or run a different game instead of trying to tinker with a system to make it do something it wasn't designed to do.

None of these things will turn you into the mythical "good DM" who can run the best kind of games, but they might turn you into "a good GM" who knows that there's a game out there that better serves their needs and whose style of running games better jives with a different game.

[rathayibacter]

been thinkin a lot about a neat little trick Disco Elysium and Pathologic pull with dialog options, where instead of presenting you with two to four responses from distinct characters (Paragon Shepard vs Renegade Shepard, for example) and ask you which one you'd like to be, these games offer you a set of immediate reactions from a single character and ask which one you blurt out. Artemy Burakh's first reaction to things annoying him is to swear or insult the person he's talking to, and his second thought is to cool off and be reasonable. when playing him, you're not changing who he is as a person, but you get to decide which impulse he listens to. Harry DuBois is a sharp detective, but is also stuffed to bursting with flights of fancy and self-destructive impulses, and you can try to remain on task or say something stupid that he immediately regrets.

one of the clever advantages of this is that it makes the character come through much more sharply, even when you've been given a lot of control mechanically. Harry is an incredible example of this, as you get to decide the kind of person he becomes much more than the protagonists of Pathologic. however, nothing at all you can do in the game stops Harry from being himself, you can steer him in a dozen different directions but they all feel true to who he is. moreover, the choices you don't pick still work to characterize these protagonists! Burakh having so many sharp responses tells you a lot about him even if you never pick them, and Harry has to reckon with his fascist leanings even when you go full commie.

this also makes breaking with your typical pattern feel much more natural. playing through Pathologic 2, i roleplayed Artemy as collected but very, very tired, and only occasionally prone to fits of anger. but when those fits came out, they felt earned in a character sense. i'd spent the last week holding my tongue around this guy, and now finally one more indignity has been dropped into my lap and i've just about had enough! once i've calmed down, i'll see how unproductive this all is, but in the moment it doesn't feel like i'm jumping the track from Good Artemy to Mean Artemy, it feels like Tired Artemy has finally reached his limits.

i dont really have a wider point to all this than "isnt it cool what game systems can do narratively?" i keep thinking back to an old FoldingIdeas line about how video games are extremely textually dense because "the text" contains everything you can do and every way the game can respond to it. that's fuckin sick! anyway later

[utdrmv-confession-box]

Transcript: Canon dreamtale makes me so mad because the writing is SO ASS. No worldbuilding, the magic sistem makes no sense, there are more plot holes than plot points and the au itself is invasive to the multiverse and how it works. The fandom made me like it, not the creator. And that already says a lot.

If the fandom can write your au better than you, mayne you should consider that youre doing something wrong

The creator only focused on making dream be "the good guy!" And the "innocent victim who did nothing wrong" that she made him a mary sue. If a character is always good, always right and their toughts and morals arent challenged you cant have character developement. It’s said that dream struggles, but never shown.

"The villagers used him!" Cool. Show it.

"Hes too kind and it has consequences on him!" Oh really? It’s funny that you say that because you NEVER SHOWED IT.

Same thing with nightmare. She killed him off on purpose by making corrupted not eve nightmare anymore. Passive is only a victim and nothing else. Its never showed how the apple incident affects nightmare. His life is barely shown.

"Everyone knows about your brother, but they dont know your story" YES THE FUCKING DO YOUVE BEEN SHOVING IT OUR THROATS FOR AGES!

And the thing that pisses me off the moat is ink and dreams friendship breakup. It doesnt do any justice to dreams character and villanizes ink.

"Oh no! My friend who fought by my side has different views than me! I know im clearly in the wrong here because I keep trying to change the script, messing up the time-space continum, b-but ink has clearly "manipulated" me! Hes obviously the bad guy because hus morally grey views dont align with mine! And the narrative will support me because im the protagonist and therefore always right! IM the hero here!" Thats how it feels to me.

Its so obvious that joku just broke them because of the conflict the had with comyet. Comyet didnt want to make drink canon, joku wasnt happy with that and decided to get ink out of the way out of pettiness. At this point dream might as well be a self insert

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is feeling like. really fucking bad because anyone else (other than your CHP, and even then theres only a little bit of grace) talking about or exhibiting symptoms of any mental health issues or neurodiversities makes you feel reaaaally. self-conscious. like, inadequate.

i need to be the worst in the room or i feel shitty. like. i see someone with more scars than me, “whoops guess its time to hurt myself”. anyone talks about mental health issues that ive decided are “worse” than mine? ok! time to spiral about this for like an hour. awesommeeeee.

and its not even anyone elses fault, obviously its not. but its not something im able to stop either. ive tried, trust me! i have tried a whole fucking lot to try and brand it into my brain that *someone else also being mentally ill doesnt inherently make your struggles less of an issue, and doesnt mean youre any ‘less mentally ill’ and god Dont try to get worse what are you doing’ but UNFORTUNATELY. It HASN’T Worked. Who would’ve thought that obsessive and damaging thought patterns can’t just be ~thought away~ easily! Who would’ve guessed! Fuck our gay baka life!

-🐢 . Blegh

.

[superscourge]

Bit of a weird question but how do u price your commissions and adopts?

and also if possible do you have any recommendations for good places to try to advertise that stuff??

theres a loooot of things that go into my prices tbh, like how much of a demand i have for them and how much work/energy/time they take and also generally what i feel would be fair to me! u gotta know tho that my prices only reflect Me and my situation and not anybody else's, so like. my ability to price things the way i do may not be as high or low as other ppl are able to price ^^ so honestly id do a few "testing the waters" prices to see how many bites u get and if u get a lot u can raise the prices but if u dont get many at all u should lower them. thats my rule of thumb at least

as for advertising uhhhh. well i only rly advertise on tumblr and bsky! but you can advertise on deviantart and toyhou.se (either the forums or as an ad submission) as well, ive seen those do pretty well. i might need to try using toyhou.se commission ads tbh. but ya similar to what i said abt prices, advertising can be rly hard if u dont have a big reach/decent following :( so id use lots of hashtags and cover all ur bases where u can

[ysaefinn]

hi ive never seen anyone talk about this and i feel like you write sugu the best sooooo how do you think suguru cares for a reader who gets very depressed but its like on and off? like one minute theyre fine, the next theyre just sobbing ??? i dunno this concept floats around in my head 24/7 and i NEEED to know how you feel ab it !!

(also can i be 🐞 anon? i keep sending you asks but i dont really have an identity thus far 🙏)

Omg anon....do you mean that 🥹🥹

Gaaaaahhhhh i will never not actually melt and fucking die whenever i hear the words "i like this and that you did" LIKE AAAUUUUGHHHH TYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTYTTYRYRTRYTYYYY 😭😭😭😭😭

Suguru and mood swings reader!!!!!! In my heart of hearts, I believe that Suguru is just insanely protective, but with someone unpredictable, he becomes a LOT more alert, and his coddling instantly intensifies, sees you as this fragile little thing made of glass, little baby kitty in the palm of his hand. He spoils you SO MUCH more than he usually would, obsessively trying to make you happy at all times, and lets a lot of stuff slide lol, you're going to be horrified with how spoiled you turn out to be 😭

During your depression episodes tho!!!! He's a lot more gentle and soft spoken, he won't stop cooing lmao, Suguru will absolutely not let you isolate yourself don't even think about it, you're swaddled in a blanket and being carried in his firm arms all day long, he's feeding you, bathing you, rocking you to sleep and holding you on his lap while you watch your fav comfort movie, if you'd rather stay indoors all day he's more than happy to keep you company the whole time (takes times off work to accommodate you or just starts working from home altogether) but if getting some fresh air will make you feel better, he's dropping everything to take you wherever you'd like, you just say the word <33

One more thing too!!!! He's very indulgent and gentle, but very firm about your eating and sleeping, you WILL eat, and drink water, and get enough sleep, he'll make sure of it.

AND YES OFC!!!!!! You can be my ladybugnon <33 I'm so happy to have you here 🐞 plz stay as long as you'd like <333

[enjoythesilentworld]

writing tag game!

thank you for the tags @phneltwrites @iwouldnevergetintofanfic @saynomorefic <33

1.How many works do you have on AO3?

23

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

416,618 (though some of these are collabs)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

young royals <3

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

so loaded, eye low aka the Met Gala au <3 i don't even have thoughts on this i just cant believe its almost got 700 kudos like that's crazy. y'all like angsty angry sex huh

just if for a minute aka fake marriage au <33333333333 my Miami idiots

all our words were worth it aka my collection from Simon's month. so many one-shots here that deserved a solo work or continuation but alas i only have two hands

for the tree's sake aka tree boys au aka the fic that started it all.

we sure make things work aka Wille's month. i feel like you can see how much my writing has improved since these, even when you just compare it to Simon's month

5. Do you respond to comments?

i do my very very best to. i have gotten very behind on it but i do read every comment and my heart bursts out of my chest at every single one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i usually try to give a happy or hopeful ending? maybe Only for Coffee because they're still technically broken up and we don't know what happens after? although I guess also Fright Fest! because they're both still actively bleeding out lmao

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'just if for a minute' probably? spoilers i guess but they sort their shit out and are literally legally bound together. but like i said i try to give all my Wilmon a happy ending. (for now)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

so far so good! i've been put in jail quite a few times but i think that was all out of love/hate

9. Do you write smut?

haha. yes ✝️

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no crossover yet :/

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes :) i have three separate collabs with some of the best people (and writers) i know, which is so cool and fun and i love fandom

14. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

anything i publish i have the intention of finishing. i promise i have not forgotten about call ur crush! 💀 i will give y'all ch5 if it kills me

15. What are your writing strengths?

oh lord. i dont know. i've gotten comments about my like, descriptions of the setting? and world building.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

i worry i am a bit repetitive, esp with like metaphors and shit. there's only so many ways I can describe tension, u know?

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

uh. fun? no harm no foul? i think in some fics it matches the vibes, but me personally i dont usually do more than pet names and the occasional 'tack' or 'snälla'. for funsies.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

i believe all my 1d and hp and other rpf has been wiped from existence (thank god) but young royals is the first i've actually posted on ao3 for

19. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Running with Wolves. so much love to all my other fics - special shoutout to ftts for being my first wilmon born - but this crime fic has taken over all my thoughts and i have had so much fun crafting ways to make these boys miserable and to make this world feel real and tangible and dangerous. it's one of my least popular and i literally don't care because.... little lamb.

i think lots of people have done this and or been tagged a million times so here's some more tags for u <3 @pagegirlintraining @willesredlights @hergrandplan @royalwilmon @skibasyndrome

[goatpaste]

Do you think P7 is actually good or is it overhyped? I think too many people considering it the best part overlook loads of its flaws and how badly a lot of characters arcs ended by the end (Soundman and HP being the most egregious)

Personally, its not my favirote part

If I had to rank? P8>P4>P6>P7>P3>P1>P5>P2 (not ranking P9 as it is not in completion at this time but I really like it and probably would but it floating around P7s slot)

Like, its got some great bones (no pun intended) With a generally fun concept and world/story set up. With a few icks (ie Lucy Steel's deal) I was a fan of what Araki was cookin.

I really really love the main four, I think Araki did a great job giving Gyro and Johnny character plot while not totally overshining either one like he tends to struggle with in other parts. I wish he had done much more with Hot Pants and Diego, truly i mean this. I think those two, ESPECIALLY Hot Pants had such potentially to be a really deeply rich character. Everyday I mourn my head world were Diego, HP and Lucy travel togeather as a B plot for SBR.

BUT its about the halfway point of the story where Lucy and Funny Valentine get introduce that i feel like the story falls apart. Like FV is a character that on basic knowledge of him that he was 'a jojo flavored nationalistic american president' I was like that sounds hilarious. But after getting through the part i find him one of the least interesting villians. Like beyond how poorly handled Lucy Steel is and his interactions with her, I just find him extremely uninteresting. The only saving grace he has is that his stand is interesting in design and power.

And yeah the ending is kind of a mess imo. I think... SIGH see i feel very mixed for the ending. On one hand i love a tragedy, i think the fact that they all lost in a way is so bittersweet but so good for sbr general vibe. But i dont think like it always feels like it works. For Gyro it works best, he's winning in his lost because he doing it for johnny. But then you tend to forget why he was doing this in the first place until they do their wrap up at the end where the Zeppeli's are gone, the country is gone, and that little boy died of the sickness anyways. Like idk, it just feels silly at that point.

And HP and Diego would have hit SOOOO hard if we got to let their shit marinate throughout SBR....GODDD if the anime allows them more screentime im gonna go ape insane... Like i know we know their tragedy and their place back in the front through right before their end but.. idk i wish HP's ending wasnt so.. idk empty? Diegos is closer to satisfying, this is the final act of a desperate man who i s dying to get victory. He dies thinking he has won. that means something, its tragic but its something.... then they bring in the alternate Diego who sucks and is just Normal Diego but worse. its a version of Dio and Diego that is just worse.

Then Lucy gets thrown around the story to be a half dressed sex object. like man... She coulda been so much more

I love the first half of SBR, and the second half has some stuff in it when its just johnny and gyro that i still like. But its kinda of a mess and really its like

If you like this part, that is fine i can understand why. But almost 60% of the time SBR fans love to talk about how good it is and then never mention the problems with it especially when reccomending it to other ppl... OR LORD the amount of ppl i've seen jump to defend it is insane.

How everytime i've gone 'hey yknow its kinda weird how Lucy is married to a 50 year old man' and everyone immediately jumps to

'it was the way things where back then!'

The part literally starts with someone commenting on how weird her age is for their marriage. Also its jojo's this whole part is full of inaccuracy for the time, the horses and also theres magic ghost.

'its just a pretend marriage!'

Then why are there that weird scene of her and Steel kissing? why they did that? what was the point of that? also there is still Mountain Tim, Funny Valentine, Scarlet Valentine, and Alt Diego.

or when i talk about how Araki goes from drawing her like something i could believe in 14 yr old girl to drawing her like an adult woman half dress like shes popular slut club

Ppl got mad at me for that saying 'thats just puberty!' which yes puberty can act really fast and you can develop wildly. but like... doesnt sbr take place over 3-4 months and this doesnt change her outfit to suddenly be less clothing puberty didnt undress her.

but anyways. I get really grumpy about Lucy's treatment, and how SBR fans often love to not see an issue with it. Its a fine part, i dont hate that part in full. Its frustrating! it really is frustrating. What's good its fun and good. but what sucks really sucks

[hipsternumbertwo]

Some things never change 🤞

[dykedvonte]

Curly's little blurb on his steam trading card just keeps reminding me he is a much more miserable person than people realize.

We don't get a lot of his thoughts, inner confliction that aren't bogged down by what Jimmy says or does. Even in the The Last One and Then Another, his dialogue is reflective, not the Curly before the crash but the result of everything. Parts of the him he was are there of course, but also disfigured and warped beyond recognition just like he is physically.

Curly really doesn't think much of himself and desires. He clearly chases fleeting moments of happiness. He doesn't really have prospects for himself, assumes in a similar way to Swansea, that if it should make it happy then he is happy. Though, he hasn't reached the point Swansea did to admit it doesn't. He neither sees the glass half full or empty, it's just water, something he needs and he'll take it from any perspective.

He wasn't running from anything but he's never really been going towards something either. He's listless. I've been using the term complacent to describe how he feels about his life and the closest people (really just Jimmy) in it, but now that word feels too neutral, too nice. Happier than Curly really was. There isn't just one word for it, he's unfulfilled, uncertain, uninspired. There are no active problems he faces and that's the issue, why should he be upset?

I believe he really is a person who doesn't know who he is or wants to be. He follows a structure. I don't think he's suicidal, but he clearly doesn't think about what makes him happy. He's numb. I suppose that is a better word than complacent, used to the feeling even if he hates it. It doesn't hurt so why stop it?

[tcustodisart]

Whenever I drew Connie with a single dandelion behind his ear this scene was playing in my head like wii channel music.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

i would like to draw him more i think..