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orionsangel86 · 2 years ago

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Dream of the Endless - A Romantic Fool

After talking to @so-i-grudgingly-joined-this-site @duckland and @notallsandmen over on this post I have been thinking about the reasons why I personally interpret Dream as a romantic and think that later Sandman stories have made a mistake claiming that romance and erotic fiction are all the work of Desire alone and not the actual Prince of Stories (and thank GOD Neil Gaiman confirmed those Sandman stories were not canon eh?)

Under the cut because as always it got long. Why I think Dream of the Endless is an old fashioned romantic with a soft spot for love stories.

I mentioned in the linked post that I don’t see how Dream and Desire can keep themselves completely separated when their realms blur so much and when they are canonically probably the two most similar of the Endless even above Desire and Despair (which I think is the reason they clash so much). It’s also worth mentioning that when it comes to influences over mortals, I don’t think any particular Endless sibling has more of a sway than any other, they all influence us all the time such is their nature and I think it would be very difficult to claim only one Endless was totally responsible for certain things. This is the reason why they like to compete and play games with each other like they did in Three Septembers and a January with the Emperor of the United States (side note: this is one of my all time favourite comic issues and my absolute favourite of the stand alone stories).

So even if Desire does have influence over the romance genre and erotica, I don’t think that would make Dream particularly averse to them, because he is also very much responsible for love stories and stories about love and seems to have inspired more than his own fair share over time.

Starting with the obvious - he was Shakespeare’s patron. No matter what else you say about Dream, he is responsible for inspiring and effectively being the muse for the greatest playwrite who ever lived. Shakespeare’s repertoire includes a whole list of plays with romance and love at their hearts not least of all being:

A Midsummer Nights Dream

What is the one thing you remember most about AMND? The fairies yes? Titania, Puck, Oberon, etc. But the central theme and story of AMND is specifically about love. It is a very sweet story about four mortals who are caught in a love “square” and get lost in a magical forest where the fairies decide to get involved and fix their love problems (with some confusing mess ups in between) and at the same time, it is a story about how the King and Queen of Fairie are having a bit of a falling out and the King decides to play some tricks on his stubborn wife, before ultimately reconcilling with her. The play ends with a triple wedding.

In the Sandman issue A Midsummer Nights Dream. It is revealled that Dream commissioned this play from Shakespeare to be a retelling of events which happened long ago, as a gift from him to Titania and Oberon so that mortals may never forget the fae once they leave the realm of Earth forever. It is also revealled that Dream and Titania were once lovers themselves, though we have no other details about when this was, as Titania refuses to talk about it at The Wake. It is clear however that they are still on extremely good terms, care for each other deeply, and had a very close relationship even after they were lovers before the fae left Earth. Throughout the comics, whenever the fae are mentioned, it is clear that Dream is closer to them than any of the other Gods, Goddesses, or various pantheons we meet. Even though at one point he states that he does not trust fairie magic.

At the end of the day, whatever else you want to believe about Dream, Titania is the only lover of his that he remains on good terms with. So much so that even though she clearly has a husband, he is still gifting her love stories. There is an argument here that AMND is quite mocking towards Titania, who falls in love with a man with the head of an ass, and spends most of the play having sex with him and swooning over him whilst the other fairies look on in horror. I know some people have interpreted this as Dream being mocking and cruel towards her, but I didn’t get this impression at all from reading this issue. Titania appears to be delighted at the play and Dream explains clearly his reasons for commissioning it:

The short version is that Dream commissioned a romantic and magical love story for his ex lover, so that the mortal world would never forget her when she left Earth for good.

Pretty romantic in my opinion.

The Tempest

Keeping to the Shakespeare theme, the other play commissioned directly by Dream is The Tempest. Now, there is probably a whole other meta essay to be written about Dream’s reasons for commissioning the Tempest, not least of all how fitting Prospero’s final monologue is when viewing it as a closing statement on Dream’s own endgame. But this is a meta about romance, and Dream couldn’t even keep romance out of his self-insert human!au original fiction. Like AMND, The Tempest is also a comedy (interesting how both plays commissioned by Dream were comedies when he is so clearly living in a tragedy *sigh*) and like AMND The Tempest includes young lovers who fall in love throughout the course of the play. Whilst romance and love isn’t a central theme in The Tempest, it is still a big part of the story.

I just find it impossible to take a view that Dream would shun romance when he personally commissioned two romantic stories from Shakespeare himself.

The Sandman: Overture - Dream’s Personal Love Story

But this isn’t the only evidence of Dream’s romantic inclinations. The Sandman: Overture also includes some interesting clues to Dream’s views on love stories.

Hope asks for a story. She does NOT request a love story. She simply asks for a story with Dream, that also includes a princess. Given that Dream is the Prince of Stories, and has most definitely had interactions with many princesses over his long life, he chose to instead tell a personal story, a love story, and so we finally get the full love story of Dream and Alianora.

Even though it must hurt to relive it, even though the Cat of Dreams (not gonna spoil the twist) specifically states that they NEVER tell that story, he chooses to tell it to Hope. Not only does he tell her that story, but he ends it with a happy ending - not “happy for always” but “happy for a goodly while”.

The fact that the Netflix show chose to adapt on this love story further, by having it be canon that Dream carved their love story into the gates of his own kingdom - well, that only further emphasises how much he cares for love stories, even his own, even when the truth is it ended badly, and hurt him greatly. Would a non romantic person carve their own love story into the gates of their kingdom? I don’t think so somehow. Because even after all this time, even though it pains him to relive it, he is still a romantic at heart, and cared about Alianora and their love enough to carve it into the gates of the Dreaming.

A Mother’s Insight

Also in The Sandman: Overture, Dream’s time with his mother is particularly insightful. She is the one to point out how alike he and Desire truly are, even though he dismisses the very concept and takes offense (obviously). It seems clear to me that we are supposed to agree with Mother Night on this. She also raises two other interesting points - the first is when she realises Dream’s scheme to get his parents back together in the hopes that it will save the universe. She laughs at him, and mocks him, calling it “one of his stories”. Because even if Dream isn’t exactly the most self aware of creatures (understatement), she is exactly right. Dream, being a romantic, had hoped that his parents love could save the universe. A true epic love story for the ages. It is his romantic ideations that sent him to meet with his parents. Dream’s romantic nature is integral to the story of Overture working. If he wasn’t such a romantic, he never would have sought out his parents, he would have been more grounded in realism, and known that they would disappoint him.

The second point Mother Night points out, is Dream’s desire for a lover, as she offers to make him one so that he might stay in her realm with her. He declines of course, since Mother is simply manipulating him to keep him with her, but that doesn’t mean what she says isn’t true. Dream very much desires a lover. His whole family is aware of this. His love story with Alianora began with Desire sending Alianora to Dream after all. Dream’s wish for love and also romance is an integral part of his character.

Brief Lives - Motivations and Comparisons

Dream’s romantic ideations are also central to the story in Brief Lives since the only reason he agrees to go to the Waking World with Delirium is because he hopes that he may find and reconcile with Thessaly. His fantasies of reconciling with her are strong enough for Destiny to call him out and bring him once again back down to Earth.

Knowing what we do about Thessaly, it is very easy to interpret Dream’s feelings about her, and his romantic ideations about reuniting with her, as not rooted in reality. I find it very difficult to view Dream as anything other than a romantic fool when he is taking road trips across Earth on the small chance he may lock eyes with his ex lover across a street and they may fall back into each others arms like in some fluffy romance novel. He is ridiculous, and this is made clear throughout Brief Lives.

In fact, Destruction definitely agrees with me as well. He calls Dream a romantic fool directly.

Orpheus’s very existence is also a good example of Dream being a romantic. Who else could father a child who becomes famous for his poetry, his songs, and his epic tragic love story. In The Sandman, it is at least implied that part of the reason Orpheus meets his tragic end is because he is too much like his father, and the one thing that is made very clear about Orpheus, is that he is a romantic, with love being one of his main motivations.

I think adding all this together with the comments made about Dream by his own creations, the residents of the Dreaming, as well as his ex lovers at The Wake, it is clear that he is a romantic character, a character who is driven in many ways by his desire for love, and who rather fancies himself as the broody romantic hero (I just KNOW Dream was somehow involved with Lord Byron lmao). Throughout the comic, Dream often denies that he has any needs, any desires, to the extent that he denies that he is even a person, who has a life. He also adamantly denies that he has a story. Yet, throughout the comic, it is made clear that none of this is true. The reason Dream is so often at odds with Desire is because he desires so strongly - moreso than any of the other Endless siblings. It’s because of this that I think he would enjoy the romance genre possibly more than anything else. Romance is a core component of his personality. In comic canon, Dream has been directly or indirectly responsible for the creation of at least five love stories - two Shakespeare plays, the Song of Orpheus, the love story of Dream and Alianora, as well as the story that the African tribe tell their children when they come of age - the love story of Dream and Nada, the tale where their love was so passionate that every living thing that could dream dreamed of their love making.

So whilst the comics never directly state whether or not Dream is a fan of romance novels, his desire for love and romance indicates to me that he holds love stories in high regard, regardless of whether or not his annoying younger sibling has anything to do with them.

Also, not that it really counts for anything, but Tom Sturridge agrees with me. ;-)

#The sandman #sandman meta #dream of the endless #the sandman comics #sandman comic spoilers #sandman overture #morpheus #i should note that dream being a romantic doesnt absolve him from sometimes being a bit of a misogynist #though I do have some conflicting opinions on that part #Ishtar accusing dream of not liking women doesn't automatically make him a misogynist #it just means she thinks he is #but looking at it from dreams pov #isn't it obvious why he wouldn't trust a goddess of love?#since she falls under the domain of desire?#but thats another conversation #i wanted to mention it but couldn't fit it in smoothly in the post #but its been on my mind since I relistened to brief lives on audible recently #about the importance of that line and its implications #anyway #please feel free to add on any thoughts #i love discussing this stuff with other sandman fans #all opinions are welcome so long as everything remains civil and kind

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icewindandboringhorror · 3 months ago

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Recent game related things .. hrmm...

#I do like the inconsistency of the first map. that is actually something older but that I re-found and added to my Game Reference stuff #so that when characters reference where they're from I can be accurate. I like that the whole map is kind of shifted up that way. Where the #actual south part doesnt even count as the south since its Too Far and Scary lol. and if you say you're from 'the north' thats basically #like.. one single continent. Though some people do make distinctions like 'north midlands' or etc. still. I like the ways that common #language isn't always precisely accurate like that. and thinking about why a culture would classify things a certain way or etc. etc.#The inventory page is so funny to me because it's literally just the BASe like.. sample layout just to make sure it works properly with 0 #actual design into it. just colored rectangles thrown together in MS paint. but what if I like... left it like that.. what if all the other #art in the game and UI is like stylized and fully matching BUT the inventory/journal/etc. screens I just left as plain colored blocks #with random misalignments and black spots and etc gjhbhjj... It looks unfinished in a Funny Contrast way to me.#the wordcounts are just like... my past few days of writing.. I am still not getting 2200 words a day done or whatever I needed. I'm lucky #if it's even half of that .... tee hee.. :3c I do also keep having appointments and other things going on but..grrr...#The full map of the area is probably not necessary but I thought it would be more realisitc if people were able to reference things. Like i #you have people all living in a city area probably at some point someone might mention a neighboring city or some landmark nearby #or etc. so I thought having at least the basic names of what's around for reference would be sensible. A side character mentioning #'oh yeah I don't live here full time I just travel from Marisene sometimes' or whatever makes it seem more like a Real #Fleshed Out Place than people just making vague references like 'the river' or 'i come from a city nearby' or 'i went to a place somewhere #around here' or 'the other city' or etc. lol.. Especially since global cities/global areas are weird as they operate almost like an #independent country within their walls. so it's like a micro country inside of another country usually. just plopped down in some agreed #upon plot of land that won't be too disruptive to the main country around it. That could get very complex depending on the cultural and #political backdrop of where they're placed (though obviously they try to choose the 'easiest' areas possible for it). Asen is a very mild #country without much history of conflict or anything so it's fine. But still interesting that Sifeh and the entire branched out global area #border three other districts of Asen. Which means like 3 times the local representitives you'l have to negotiate with for some major change #or anything. I think one of the 'random characters you can find around the world and have short discussions with just to make the area #feel more populated and real even though theyre not actual important npcs' is going to be a guy who actually serves on the council that #handles running the global areas and he's like.. some perpetually exhausted middle aged elf running around with a clipboard or whatever #ANYWAY...... hrgh... still trying to write when I can....#I WISH so badly that I had the scope for a simple character creation menu and all character interactions would allot for the background #of your player character. And also to have a simple day night cycle where places in the world you explore/people you talk to during the day #have new options or dialogue at night.. BUT alas... I already am so behind on everything as is lol.. aughhh... T o T #As the worlds number one Needless Detail And Complexity Enjoyer i must dilligently prevent myself from adding additional complexity

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kindnessoverperfection · 2 years ago

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I've found that, when interacting with others (or myself), it's useful to consider the lessons I'd want to teach a growing child.

If a child makes a mistake, I wouldn't want them to feel shame. I wouldn't yell at them, humiliate them, or in any way indicate to them that their mistake is a reflection of their worth or of who they are as a person.

Instead, I'd want them to associate the process with love and joy. If they say something that hurts someone's feelings, or otherwise ostracizes someone in some way, I'd compassionately explain to them. Ideally, they'd walk away knowing why they said / did it in the first place, how to handle similar situations in the future, and would accept the consequences (e.g. if a friend no longer wanted to hang out with them).

While the consequences may sometimes be painful, I'd do my best to instill in them that mistakes are human and natural, and that the process of learning from these mistakes is an opportunity to improve connections with others and express love.

I have a tendency towards excessive guilt. Memories in which I've said / done something ignorant or hurtful are infused with this guilt and shame- but ideally, I'd feel a sense of love and peace, and perhaps happiness, when looking back on them. Because they were moments of growth, moments I learned how to be more compassionate (even if the actual learning came years later).

So I'll put this out into the void:

When you make a mistake, that is not a reflection of you as a person. It is a moment in time, a moment which was informed by your past experiences. Humans are not static labels, or monsters in an RPG game. We are social creatures who live and learn and react and grow and experience and love. Be gentle with yourself and move forward knowing you're doing so in accordance with your values.

#parenting #internet culture #self compassion #i'd also want to teach them critical thought of course - there are varying ideas of what constitutes mistakes or ignorance or harm #and that's a messy subject which is often a challenge to teach and is beyond the scope of this post but it's important #to avoid being subject to manipulation or becoming reactionary #but anyways #to clarify something in the tags here: it's okay of course to feel bad. that's a normal response. but it's not necessary. and a culture of #shaming people for their mistakes isn't helpful in the same ways it isn't helpful to do that to a child. people become defensive and/or #self-hating. divisive and reactionary and more easily manipulated. fearful and ashamed and avoidant. afraid of disagreements or of trying #anything new. increased all-or-nothing thinking and blowing things out of proportion. it just doesn't help in the long run #sometimes when someone says something i want to express hatred and mockery towards; i think of my trans friend who's full of light and love #and compassion. who came from a smaller more conservative community and used to have some of those same stances (and may still hold some of #those feelings/anxieties). and i remember that i can be firm on my boundaries and spread love and acceptance and safety *without* spewing #vitriol at anyone who makes even a minor mistake. i want people who were impacted by oppression and bias to have space to grow and #find safe communities and be able to think for themselves. i dont want to push them away or be another person in their life screaming at #them. there's always a person behind the screen.#like that doesnt mean i have to interact with them. in fact in most cases it's better to step away. and there are still unsafe people out #there- but yelling at them won't do any good either. saw a tip to focus on the people you want to help rather than the opposition #and that's been super helpful for me

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marklikely · 1 year ago

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the results of that "is fanfic a book" poll have shown me one thing and its that this site never graduated past that absolutely insufferable phase in 2013 where everyone acted like every book is the single most sacred thing on earth

#sorry rant incoming. you know like the people who got way too offended over dog earing or carving books for art or things like that?#that's what the notes section of that poll feel like. just way too many people (on both sides) putting way too much importance on Books.#like first you have the 'um ive read fanfic that was deep and beautiful and thematic so yes all fanfic is books' votes #which like. ok. ive also read really deep thematic screenplays but that doesnt make it a book its simply not. what a book is #then you have the honestly even worse 'um your reylo au isn't like the works of the masters its not REAL BOOKS' crowd #which like. yeah most actual published books are not as good as the 'works of the masters' whatever that means. so you have proven nothing #which brings us back to the absolute worst of all 'colleen hoover & co aren't books either' SOMEHOW #like. ok well i think her work is pretty bad but it was literally edited and published into literal books so #if you're going to decide that you get to be the arbiter of what books are Good Enough to count as Real Books well you've lost already.#because no that's not how any of this works. youre fighting one of the most famous Losing Battles in all of art discourse.#a book is just. a format that writing can be in its not some holy status you have to work to acheive #and to try and turn it into that is really stupid and self important i think because like again #who gets to decide what books are Real? what motivates them to make that choice? what biases are benefited from that?#i think its worth noting in conversations like this everyone wants to deny female romance authors the title of Real Book #(which yes a lot of those books are very shallow or badly written. many have outright offensive tropes)#but nobody mentions the equally shallow and offensive stuff by/for men. like william johnstone's shitty cowboy books for example.#no matter how you try to frame it youre going to lose the second you decide something has to fit your standards to be real art.#avpost #its very reminiscent for me of the conversation around modern art where people just want to say they know what is and isn't real art #based on like whatever standards they want. 'ugh its just dots it's not real art'. do u see where im coming from.#a book is just. a piece of writing that was edited and published in the form of a physical book. that's it. its a v literal if vague noun.#it can be something with a lot of depth and meaning. it can be shallow and hacky. it can be nonfiction entirely. its not a value statement #which can also be said about art as a whole some of it is very shallow and bad. some of it is extremely skilled and profound #anyway. no fanfic isn't inherently books but some fanfics have undergone editing & publishing and became books i think #and that doesnt mean that they're 'as good as' the classics by really skilled writers. but theyre still books #tbh a lot of the published fanfic books are worse than most nonbook fanfic. them being books isnt a statement of being more valuable.#its just a literal fact.#i think its interesting to discuss but i swear its not a huge deal whether fanfic is books the bigger deal to me is #the weird attitude popping up on both sides. which i think most people would also find stupid if their brains hadnt been like #totally ruined by an uninterrupted 5 years of insufferable-on-all-sides fanfic discourse that has ruled this website.

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canadiankakashi · 8 months ago

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I'm very much a car guy but i don't think you need to be one to understand how crumple zones work and why they're great and it's painful seeing people ignore how important they are

#this is about the cybertruck #if it actually has a crumple zone it is small enough that it doesn't do jack shit #all that force has to go somewhere and if its not through the car then it's through the passengers!!#the rig i drive doesn't have any and i have to be really aware of it!!!#a head-on crash in a car with a crumple zone the driver would be okay #the same crash in mine would likely kill me #structural integrity isn't shit when it's going to kill you!#had to rant #was showing off how cybertruck would kill you to my dad and apparently he doesn't understand why crumple zones are important!#compared them to semis saying that you don't need to worry about your rig crumpling when you're the bigger rig #bein a bigger rig doesnt mean shit when you ram into a wall & the crumple zone does its job stopping the engine from obliterating your skull #screaming #atropos speaks (fake) prophecies

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arolesbianism · 1 year ago

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I need agent 4 to appear in side order soooo badly I do not care in what context I just need to put Jim and Mark in the same room please please I'm desperate

#rat rambles #oc posting #splat posting #an agent 4 boss fight could be fun but tbh idrc if theyre a major part of anything I just want them to appear somewhere there #as far as my orbo blorbos tho a boss fight could be soooo juicy #mark and jim only met after their seperate rock bottoms and during their recovery arcs #so the idea of seeing them be put into a low neither of them have faced in years delights me #either way I will be having big boy thoughts abt then once side order comes out #since even if 4 doesnt appear in side order Im forcing jim in there one way or another lol #their t4t cringe is real <3 #bro mark is going to be so pissed off abt being in a damn building again until dedfish shows up then hes going to be all for this adventure #just him staring with big wet eyes as they say some basic tutorial shit like they just said the most earthshattering thing ever #hes also glad to have pearl with him even if the two bitch at eachother a lot #hes also low key glad marina isn't there but like guiltily so #if jim is anywhere in there shes having a panic attack over not being able to contact marie #jim would ofc be freaking out over mark too but marie is like The most important person to them #thats their sister and best friend and also the person who saved their life both figuratively and literally #they would almost certainly not be alive if they never met marie and if they were theyd be in a horrible place on every level #marie was also the first person jim ever grew to truly trust so basically yeah she means the world to them #mark is super important to her too of course but she doesnt rely on him in the same way as she does on marie #mark I assume will have no reason to assume jim is there too but theres no way to know for sure so Ill not dwell on that too much #but mark is generally less prone to panic than jim mostly due to their childhood environments and stuff #so while he'll definitely worry abt jim itd be more him missing her and hoping shes not freaking out too hard than panic #in a way itd almost be exciting to him to maybe get a chance to do actual agent work with jim #like I said they only met post their seperate shitstorms so they didn't even know they were both agents until jim introduced mark to marie #well more like introduced mark to marie as a way to say this one is good be nicies to him #well more so this one is mine Im the only one allowed to bully him but you can pick on him too once he likes you enough #mark is just sitting there like holy shit what the fuck why is she here what do you fucking mean shes that sister you always talk abt #not a day goes by where hes not forced to confront one of his ex crushes fkfndkdb #poor little straight boy all his ex crushes and his current girlfriend keep making him do fortinte dances

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phlebphlob · 10 months ago

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'Reasonable Person': a rant.

#ok im gonna talk about the ceo situation going on #but my voice isn't an important one in this so im banishing it to the tags #so at my job theres a rule #its in the employee training and handbook #its about interpersonal situations and what management can do about them #and its all predicated on what a 'reasonable person' would believe.#like fully. the wording in the training is 'reasonable person'.#what this means is that when a manager picks favorites? impossible to prove.#if two people are having a spat and one is unfairly targeted while the other walks scot-free. it's attributed to 'reasonable person'.#like the one who got the punishment was the unreasonable one because that's what the manager decided.#i am very lucky in that i have people on the management team who are on my side in my transition- even though they dont gender me correctly #if i go to them with concerns they will make sure that i am treated fairly.#this is Not The Case Here.#the 'reasonable person' argument was JUST USED AS A CUDGEL AGAINST PREDSTROGEN #“death threats arent what a 'reasonable person' would make EVER. even IF theyve been pushed to the FUCKING BREAKING POINT.” is what pm says #hes hand-waving the very real issues because she did something he didn't like. he's unfairly targeting her. he's discriminating.#'reasonable person' means goddamned nothing if the guy making that call isn't reasonable.#i quietly do my part. i report content as i see it. glad to see that doesnt fucking matter #i knowwwww theres gotta be good people on staff. but god dammit. god fucking dammit.#...#so whats the plan matthew?#how are you going to stop harrassment?#how are you going to stop rapist pedophiles?#how are you going to make this space safe for transfems?#how are you going to make this space safe for ALL trans people?#how are you going to apologize for your dick-swinging?#fuck. idk. i hope there are consequences.#there wont be.

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floralovebot · 2 years ago

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To me, the thing is that the show at first had different stypes for all the girls. They all felt comfortable both in skirts and in pants, it's just that each of them used one more than the other.

In the first seasons, each girl had their style and their outfits were unique and different to fit those stiles.

Now, it's like they're all wearing uniforms, the same ugly outfits to all of them, with just the colors to differ.

that's what i'm saying!! none of the girls were ever uncomfortable or against dressing femininely, they just all had their own styles and personal comfort levels with it. obviously the later seasons fucked that over but my problem is when people act like canon musa was never "girly" in the early seasons or that she would be against traditional femininity. i've seen people headcanon that she would make fun of stella for that and like... dude... she made fun of that one Very Creative dress stella made because it was ugly and she didn't understand why stella was so into the beauty pageant, but that doesn't mean she would ever make fun of her for being a high femme!! she's so supportive of stella being That Bitch and acting like she isn't is fucking weird!!

like again i have no issue with people criticizing the later seasons for getting rid of their individual styles and overly feminizing all of them (cause that's exactly what happened) nor do i have an issue with people headcanoning that musa is a tomboy or redesigning her looks to be less feminine, but i do have an issue with people treating canon musa as this Anti Feminine Tomboy Who Hates The Winx And Pink. it just screams racist misogynistic, especially when they do it with aisha too like DUDE

#musa just likes comfy clothing she's not anti pink 😭#she has worn feminine clothing in the early seasons!! and she's not against 'acting' feminine either!!#she just wasn't doing it as much as characters like flora or stella or even aisha #but that doesnt mean she's Against it or wouldnt be comfy with it #they all have their own styles and again that is so important for young girls to see!!#its so important for young girls to know that femininity isn't a bad thing!!!#like so many of us went through that Im Not Like Other Girls I Dont Like Pink phase and DUDE shows like winx really helped combat that!!#again theres nothing wrong with headcanons or redesigns but acknowledge that canon musa was okay with being feminine #dont act like she was against being feminine or against portraying herself as such #and def don't act like she would EVER make fun of the winx for being girly!!!#answered #winx musa

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centi-pedve · 2 months ago

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the overuse of this image could kill us

#take a shot every single time someone uses it on a trustworthy source with citations and a clear definition of what it's measuring with #no associations with any biased organizations #bonus points if the creator isn't even american #also would anyone like to step back and analyze why these trends exist #QOL related data points tend to be so consistent Because They Are Related To Each Other #just because you see a map with trends similar to the image doesnt mean its a bad map #going to be real: you people just don't like to see data that you disagree with emotionally #even though a lot of the reasons why so many countries have low QOL is because of western interference and fuckery #so it's important to recognize when a country struggles in certain areas because that usually means there's something causing thosestruggle #america uk australia etc have high QOL because they are privileged

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autism-corner · 2 months ago

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erm

#that last post is not good for mee #im already sobbing and then the voices go 'why don't you think youre allowed to be loved?'#love is such an interesting thing as someone aromantic and autistic imo. (thats what im 'blaming' it on at least)#i think somewhere in my brain the recognition that i can be loved is missing.#sillyposting #TECHNICALLY. i know my parents love me. in principle.#but i cant say that. i love them back. that doesnt FEEL right to me. so the only conclusion i can determine is that i dont.#its the same with the one partner ive ever had.#they were the closest ive ever been to a person in every single way.#they told me they loved me and. i couldnt say it back. i still cant say it.#if i cant comfortably say i love the closest person ive ever had is it possible for me at all?#is there something inherently wrong about me? something i cant change?#because i do APPRECIATE the people im supposed to love. i truly have deep feelings for them.#but they will possibly never reach love. and that isn't something i can change or do anything about.#which in turn results into me not being comfortable when someone makes clear they love me #if i cant reciprocate their feelings am i even worthy of them at all?#can you love something that cant love you back? i know that answer is 'yes'.#but is it right to put your love into something that can't return it? are you not putting a burden on both you and it?#isn't it easier to let it go? to leave? this thing will never do the same as you when there is plenty around that is better than it.#this thing has created a burden on itself when loved. feels guilty about it not returning feelings. feels uncomfortable at any expression.#doesnt that mean love is unkind to it? that love hurts? that it'd be better off without love at all?#is it possible to desire love when receiving it is my worst nightmare?#.#anyway shoutout to me realizing i cant imagine a future where im loved. while pissing.#o7 #its literally past 10pm i should NOT be listing to whatever the voices say =w=b will that stop me? nahh #“guy isnt depressed enough” okayyyy #its literally fine tho were chillingg #<3 #also very important distinction to me: none of this is limited to romantic love. familial love sucks too!!

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pom-seedss · 5 months ago

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I know someone who is cis and het and extremely accepting and supportive of the queer members of their community.... who cannot attend Pride events (even working events that their employer puts on!) without being disowned by their entire extended family. Whom they rely on for financial, social and childcare support.

I was shocked to hear that when this friend admitted it to me, especially because they'd always been really supportive of me, personally. But I also know things like this used to be FAR more common when I was growing up.

Even if you weren't just considered guilty by association (obviously you have to be queer to be defending queer folks, right??), you were still considered an enemy to "normal people" by "indulging/enabling" the queer community.

Allies have always, and apparently still do, face consequences for standing with us. Allies need to know they will be supported and cared for if they face consequences for standing up with us too. Remember: Allies to the queer community are often seen as Enemies of the status quo and thus enemies to the bigots trying to preserve it!

We can't expect anyone to stand with us if we are just going to drop them and spit on their name when things go poorly for them.

A stands for ally. A stands for agender. A stands for Asexual. A stands for Aromantic. A stands for... I am sure other identities and groupings that stand with us all.

Guys, allies are a part of the community. They always have been. They always will be. We fucking need them to be. We have to support them as they support us. This is a mutually beneficial relationship, not a one way street.

since it’s pride month. reminder that queer people having a healthy sex life is normal. queer people can have kinks. lesbians can express attraction to women without being gross or predatory. gay men aren’t scary. trans people are valid no matter where they are in their transition. asexual and aromantic people are included in our community too. non-binary people don’t owe you an explanation. bisexuals don’t have to “pick a side”.

we all have different experiences but we should all try our best to make each other feel welcome.

and the A has never stood for ally. hope this helps.

#AND YEAH we've all been burned by the people who go 'well I WAS an ally but then X identity was rude to me once so now I am a fully #entitled to hate everyone with that identity and maybe the whole community anyway' because OF COURSE we've all had fair-weather friends #or people are disingenuous about actually standing with us or only pay lip service and I get that people try to use “I'm an ally!” as a #shield but you gotta recognize the bad actors for what they are and not paint the whole concept of allyship as bad actors #what the fuck is the point if there isn't mutual solidarity anyway? yes be cautious but dont push whole important parts of our community #to the outside okay? please. allies belong with us that is why they are fucking allies #like people do things just for clout or just to be the center of attention all the time but that doesnt mean everyone is so disingenuous #damn this got under my skin today

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