#but that doesnt mean i dont think its stupid as fuck to have a whole group of adults unable to talk about zombies

[lemongogo]

anyways . silly thing

[nyxi-pixie]

Took a nat 20 in psychological damage and need to share my pain through the absolutely moronic takes I have just seen:

"For bsd to have a happy ending, Dazai needs to die! It's also what makes the most sense for his character, it'd be his happy ending too since he wants to die anyway!"

AWFUL THING TO FORCE IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

this is believed because dazai has such an overwhelming talent at pissing off the audience that theyre beginning to think the only reality that can comfort them is one in which he fucks off forever by dying and theyre then confusing the story ending in a way which preserves their sanity as a viewer (deadzai) with a story ending that works well. unforch dazai would be a bother even from beyond the grave so even this would not save them!

[bonestrouslingbones]

human designs are genuinely so much fun because i get to actually REALLY stretch my character design muscles and play around with different facial features and body types and such, as i have discussed a million times and probably will discuss a million more

however. it is also often devastating. because i am constantly being forced to confront the fact that the characters who suck the most and deserve it the absolute least WILL without fail be the most fitted to the exact designs that are so extremely obviously My Type that there are a couple that i can’t show to my friends without them giving me a look

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

rewatching 13s era for me is not so much diminishing returns as it is something opposite and eviler...............increasing losses? increasing losses

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Metalheads who don't like/respect Babymetal bc their "look" isn't, what? Traditionally metal? are so cringe. Like bro it's an alternative music scene we're supposed to say FUCK tradition????? What's wrong w y'all... Embarrassing

And also they are missing out bc Babymetal fucking rules

[connormoving]

the difficulty of trying 2 explain to ppl that im Not being self deprecating or belittling my mental illnesses when i say something that could be perceived as overly critical towards myself but that thise things actually r true abt me. ppl did die.

[snorfbin]

.

[mrgiggler]

ive been kinda hyunabrained lately

[analyticalangelsheart]

oh noooo i guess i cant record this because idk when im gonna get to be home alone://// gee what a shame

[bowxs]

I have a request but just if you have the time🧡🧡: Reader is Butchers niece and he wants her to babysit Ben. She hates it because she actually wanted to go clubbing that evening and appears at Bens motel room in the worst mood and dressed like sin. Ben teases her that clubbing is a waste of time for pretty young women (because of his ancient mindset) so she bluntly tells him she wanted to go there to find someone to hook up with because women have needs too. So he takes it in his hands to get rid of that problem for her.

im so sorry this has been in my drafts for weeks😭 i love love this idea tho thank u!!

its kinda rushed but i tried! i havent been feeling too well so i hope it doesnt suck

• i was thinking of making different readers and making fics based off of them (+ mood boards and outfits, the whole thing!) let me know if that could be a good idea or not (and give me ideas!)

divider from @uzmacchiato

you loved uncle butcher, except for when you didnt. you hated when he dragged you into his stupid plans and made you miss out on time with your own friends

however much you hated it though wasnt enough to make you say no. this time he called you was no different, with little to no warning he asked you to ‘watch over something’ at his place.. whatever that meant

so as always, you just grumbled into the phone about needing more warning and some compensation for your troubles before you were en route to the address of uncle butcher’s appartment

what you didnt expect was to open the door and be met with a grown ass man in a tracksuit and a half smoked joint in hand. god this was not what you needed right now

“listen i didnt pay for a hooker and i ain’t got any money on me but if you wanna give me something for free” ben wriggles his eyebrows at you, manspreading on the couch as he watches you slam the door

“im NOT a hooker.” you huff, clearly starting the night off on the wrong foot. half of you wanted to call billy- tell him to get someone else to deal with his bullshit- but the other half felt too bad to say anything

“youre sure dressed like one, sweetheart. dont wanna give a man the wrong impression now” he chuckles from the couch, taking a drag of the joint, the smoke pouring out of his mouth as he laughs. god he was a dilf if youve ever seen one.

you had only been there for an hour and ben- you learnt his name- was on his third joint, still somehow not high. you had made it most of the hour with minimal conversation, which you figured was a good thing. until it wasnt.

“so why are you dressed like a hooker, doll? i mean you said you aernt one but i beg to differ” he chuckles again, and youd never thought a laugh could sound hot, but you also thought youd never baby sit a grown man

“i WAS going to go clubbing until i got called to watch your ass instead” you explain but you dont miss the way his face contorts as you say ‘clubbing’. god, how old was this guy?

“women like you aernt meant to go clubbing, doll. im practically saving you” he says so confidently it irks you, and you scoff at that, rolling your eyes at the cocky, old man attitude

“the only thing your doing is stopping me from having sex, ben.” you practically scowl at him, fed up with his attitude. sure, it was a stupid thing to be upset about, but damnit if it hasnt been atleast 3 months since youve had a good fuck

“oh sweetheart, you dont need a club to get some half assed, mediocre at best sex. when you have the best fuckin’ dick youd ever have right here” and only then did you notice the semi he was sporting in his sweatpants

he was going fast like most of the guys youve hooked up with. he didnt jackhammer into you like he had something to prove- nono. he knew he was good and he knew he could show it to you right

you were on your back on the couch, dress scrunched up around your waist, panties dangling from one ankle as he pumped in and out, in and out, in and out, like some kind of orgasm-summoning ritual, each thrust felt calculated

“god- that feels so- so good” you moaned out, your body was limp on the couch, tits practically bouncing out of your dress with every thrust of his hips

“not god, doll. just me” hes still cocky- god you wanted to smack the smirk off his face- tell him you wished youd gone clubbing instead. but you were a terrible liar.

he leaned down, bringing your legs to your chest in the process. thank god for yoga. his lips were on your neck without a second thought, sucking a small mark- a reminder- right below your jaw. goodluck explaining that one to your friends

“hadn’t fucked a pussy this tight in decades” he grunts out next to your ear, only making you clench around him at his words. you didnt know he actually means decades. “billy shoulda- fuck- brought your pretty little ass over sooner”

“dont talk about- oh fuck- about him” you manage out in between mewls and whimpers, hating to have to think about your uncle billy right now.

“why, doll? dont wanna think about big ol’ billy finding out you came all on his couch cause of me?” his words will filthy, disgusting even, and you practically grimaced at the thought of it. but that small part inside of you liked it. liked the idea of someone finding out what you two did, and it only pushed you further to the edge

your orgasm came before you could say anything, your legs trembling on bens shoulders as he fucked you through it, but he was just chasing his own release

he pulled out minutes later, and with a few quick pumps of his hand, his cum stained your bunched up dress and billys couch. you really hoped you could play that off as a food spill

ben didnt give you aftercare or say anything about it after, but he did stay true to his word, and maybe you were a bit thankful this one time that uncle billy asked you to baby sit.

[sweeterthancandy]

nsfw alphabet < sam winchester 3

a = aftercare (what they're like after sex) : sam is insanely gentle with you, picking you up with ease as he brings you to the the dingy motel bathroom, carefully setting you on the counter as he cleans you up, he helps you get dressed (youd feel like his little doll the way hes dressing you teehee!!) he would also love to brush your hair and take your makeup off if you hadnt already

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's) : his favourite body part of his own would 100% be his hands. his huge hands he uses to caress your curves, his long fingers he puts in your mouth when you just need something to suck on, the hands that always get the job done. his favourite body part of yours would either be your lips or your back!! he thinks your lips mustve been a gift from god, the feeling of your lips kissing his lips, his neck, all the way down his abs, its heaven. your back is just so smooth am feminine, something about it just so perfect the soft curves he can see as he slides his hands down, makes him feel woozy.

c = cum (anything to do with cum basically... i'm a disgusting person): he does not care where he does it, i mean hed cum anywhere as long as you told him told, but if he had to choose hed want it to be inside, he likes to feel like youre melting into one when hes finishing, very poetic.

d = dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) : you guys 100% have a sex tape i just know it. hed have his stupid little cam corder sitting on the bed when all of a sudden hes pointing it at you. youre practically drooling as you ride him into the bed, and the camera is tracing your whole body showing off your plush hips grinding against his, your tits bouncing at each move, then of course to your fucked out face. "cmon baby, show everyone whos the best girl-fuck" he says almost incoherently as he traces up your torso with his big rough hands. "delete that sam" you giggle to him when he puts the camera away, but we both know hes not getting rid of that.. right?

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they're doing?) : i think hed have minimal experience but definitely not none, maybe 2-3 girls before you, never anything serious just enough to show him the ropes.

f = favorite position (this goes without saying. will probably include a visual) : cowgirl cowgirl cowgirlillill, god would he love to have to just using him all by yourself!!! just the visual of you on top of him, bouncing like a bunny on him, looking down at him with starry eyes, well that would be enough to make him cum on the spot. (especially cause youre so much smaller than him)

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc) : i dont think he would joke around much during sex, maybe a slight joke about how gone yall are but other than that he doesnt see the point in joking around with such a special moment.

h = hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.) : def has a happy trail leading to his bush, always trimmed though never crazy, matches his pretty hair colour!!

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect..) : hes a romantic for sure, he will genuinely make you feel like a goddess the way he would worship your body. would be constantly telling you what you do to him and how beautiful you are he woukd make you feel so soecial even if its the hundredth time.

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon) : when hes off on a hunt without you its like routine, hed have his hand wrapped around himself, eyes closed just picturing how good youd feel on him at that moment. hed bring his nerdy little laptop with him to the bathroom putting his headphones in and go to his folder from the tape yall made... he just misses you so much he has to hear your pretty noises, is that so wrong?

k= kink (one or more of their kinks) : his size kink is so obvious, his huge hands resting on your stomach when hes eating you out make him almost cum right there at how much area the cover. the fact that when you ride him you gotta essentially climb onto his large body makes him go insaneee. he also has a crazy praise kink which goes both ways hed always be telling you how good you are and how "youre the best hes ever gonna have" but when you praise him its a whole new story. "sammy baby mmmso big youre doing so good-shi-dont stop" the words that leave your mouth make him cum on the spot, he just needs to know how good hes doing for you, he needs to be the best.

I = location (favorite places to do the do) : all the classic places, the motel bed, the shower, the car. but sometimes he branches out, fucking you over the bathroom sink thats a favourite of his, just everything about it feels almost domestic which he likes to imagine.

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) : when you play innocent, you could be doing the dirtiest thing but look sooo innocent and that turns him on, his sweet girl could never do anything wrong.

n = no (something they wouldn't do, turn-offs) : anything to do with hurting his baby, he really doesnt like to even think about hurting you (slapping, choking) in an intense way, hed rest his hand lightly on your neck, never squeeze. hed give your ass a few slaps, never spanks.

0 = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) : hes a giver ok hes the biggest munch on earth. bad day? eating you out. good day? eating you out. hed find any excuse to get in between your legs, he gets so drunk off your pussy, the taste is addicting to him. hed beg to eat you out its one of his favourite pass times. as for you giving him head hed love that too, hed think its sweet that youd do that for him hed be very gentle with you and let you go at your own pace. hed be scrunching all your hair up and brushing it out of your face trying to make you as comfortable as possible!! ps: dont look up at him in the eyes unless you want to kill him

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) : totally matters on the mood hes in, if hes feeling lovey dovey hed go so slow just worshipping you as he goes taking hus time to feel every portion of your body. meanwhile, hes having a rough day, stressed out, hes just trying to get off as fast as he can it wouldnt be rough just rushed almost but then again thats only the first round

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.) : hed be ok with them def not his favourite, he wants to take his time with you, or more he wants you taking time on him teehee, he thinks good sex takes time!!

r = risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.) : i dont think hed like to be risky, hes too nerdy honestly, the calculations would be going off in his head as you pull him towards you. hed be totally up to experiment stuff with you but risks hes not too sure about..

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…) : he could go forever i think, if he can fight demons and monsters for a living, he can handle making you cum as many times as you need. hed definitely let you take over if he was getting tired, letting you fuck yourself on him, how could he say no to his baby?

t = toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) : i dont think he uses any toys at all really, he just wants some good ol classic american sex (he wants you to boss him around)

u = unfair (how much they like to tease) : hes not a tease at all he cant, he just needs everything right away… however he loves being teased, like waiting to get something turns him on, losing control is a major turn on for him!!!

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make) : hes definitely a whiner, youre teasing him? hes whining so softly, but if he was fucking you fast.. oh hes moaning and groaning like soooo loud he wants you to hear how good youre making him feel.

w = wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice) : hed loveeee mirror sex, hed be giving backshots and holding your chin up to see all your reactions, “holy fuck youre so perfect-just for me yeah? thats my fucking girl” hed mutter under his breath mindlessly as his hands roam all over your hips and your ass just squeezing trying to make it feel real.

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words) : not gonna say hes huge but i mean… hes huge. probably around 8-9 inches highkey…

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?) : fairly normal amount hed definitely have a sex drive but i dont think its above average, butttttttt anytime you ask hes saying yes, as soon as he knows you want it he does too. “baby please i need you to fuck me..” you whined at him a sweet frown on your lips, how could he not say yes?

z = zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterward) : i dont really think sam would get tired after sex, hed probably either cuddle with you, or just start doing something he needs to do like research or shower!!

[chessboredom]

Hey hey! Yeah ive noticed when it comes to actual toxic shadowvanilla (or even closer to cannon) they dont get in depth of it. It feels like theres something MISSING! Ackkkkkkk i am a beliver of them being mutually toxic to each other (especially tr) If TR did for some reason truly became a cookie of decite, it would not end well for either of them! Think about it, shadow milk wants someone who understands BUT how he wants Pure vanilla to be a cookie of decite. And and shadow milk so caught up in his joy didnt even notice the cannon betryal, then take that and up it with truthless recules. Tr would 100% be lying for his own gain, probably notice shadowmilks emotional weakness and twist it like a KNIFE! The roles would be reversed! Shadowmilk is the puppet now, yet he doesnt KNOW it! So blinded by his loneiess, and the need to have someone to understand him! That he allowed himself be used (quite ironic if you think about it) cuz PV normally is not one to show his emotions in his sprites (other than his staff and well shadowmilk meddling) AND HE ISNT A OWO MAN!!! Sick of the owo man treatment! TR is that but UPPED!! A cookie of decite who doesnt express his emotions, able to twist it however he likes. Like i can see this as a Sm thinks hes the puppet master, while being the puppet. Tr lets him think that!!! Its easier to maulipate someone if they think their in control. Its MESSY! (I cannot put into words how messed up this situation would be) shadow milk you FOOL! Youve created your own MONSTER! One who sees you as a means to a end, a PUPPET. False fluff, fapse happiness, false LOVE! What TR gives you is a LIE and even if theres truth in it YOU DONT KNOW IT, YOU COUNDNT EVEN TELL WHEN HE PULL OFF A LIE! (In cannon) YOU are now in the web of lies of your own creation, Tr is your spider!! Anyway uh thats a little bit of what this dymatic makes me go crazy over (i have more ideas....)

ANON YOU FUCKKING GET IT OH MY GOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS REAL!!!!!!! I LOVE TOXIC YAOIIII!!!!

I'm gonna fucking yap about PV characterization (AGAIN.) (I just love him so fucking much.)

Very Long LONG post. XP

I'm so happy right now because you UNDERSTAND that PV isn't just some fucking UwU bean guy. Like, this is why he's so fucking good at being a leader because of his EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE and that he DOESN'T get caught up by his emotions and focuses on the problems even if it's stressful. Like a scene in Odyssey where Dark Cacao gets MAD when Clotted Cream had the idea of wanting the powers of the Soul Jam but Pure Vanilla remained calm as ever(And all of the sprites used this scene have his eyes open. He is SERIOUS.) Out of the WHOLE Ancients, despite his youthful, brighter amd unchanging appearance (and that's why his Korean Va is a girl to convey his youthfulness) he is the nost mature because he tries to Understand the situation and not diving head first. He isn't a warrior, but he is skilled involving emotions BUT he keeps DOUBTING himself at first like "I can't believe I did that! But I'd do anything for my friends to protect them."

AND THEN SHADOW MILK COOKIE COMES IN!!!! Omg Shadow Milk Cookie, DO NOT unlock the full potential of that Skill Pure Vanilla- I man Truthless Recluse has(Emotional Intelligence😇 LEVEL UP! ➡️ Emotional Manipulation😈) that he made you look stupid by making YOU think that YOU are the one IN CONTROL!

LOOK AT HOW HE DOES IT BY MAKING SMILK THINK HE'S IN CONTROL!!

En got "You and I... were meant to be together."❌️ The shadowvanilla shippers are really feeding on this line omg.

Kr got "I guess I have to accept you... Or become a part lf you."✅️ THAT'S WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!!!! EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION AT IT FINEST BAYBEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! MAKE HIM THINK HE'S THE ONE PULLING YOUR STRINGS WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY SLITHERED YOUR WAY THROUGH HIS MASK!!!! UUUGGHH SMILK YOU MADE HIM BETTER THAN YOUUU

That's why I kept mentioning that PV is KIND, and not Nice and he is pretty much capable of incredible violence. Does anyone even REMEMBER PV having enough seeing his friends suffer when he was the last one standing that he tries TO KILL DARK ENCHANTRESS?? He does a lot of things that involves he SACRIFICING HIMSELF in the process. UGHHH!! FUCK!! PURE VANILLA COOKIE IS NOT NICE!! HE WANTED TO KILL SHADOW MILK COOKIE!!! Remember the "Crash Out" scene? That's his true emotions having throwing a suprise party. He had ENOUGH. Then the scenery changes that made him remember that he wasn't supposed to be a violent person. He's an angel! 😇🙏 Silly Vanillyyy, why would you say "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOU!!" that isn't like you at all!! [sarcasm](He is literally holding back the rage every single fucking day of his life.)

As much as people love to draw PV hugging Smilk closing to the end of the Ep, he literally beats him up and people seem to forget that over thinking PV is nice Uwu It doesn't have to be this way Shadow Milk Cookie. Meanwhile in the Korean version, Awakened PV had a dialogue that went, "I like helping people but I had enough of your shit Shadow Milk Cookie.☺️" Pure Vanilla Cookie said calmly. (Link to the video I made with this line.) And then made shooting stars of Truth descend from the sky to attack him. He did say he wanted Smilk to be his friend, but he wouldn't back down in a fight anymore. That's why his Awakened "Compassionate" or "Comprehender"(in Korean) form finally showing his real role that he is a MAGIC TYPE all along who has been disguised under the role of a HEALER.

Anyway TR ♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤ SMILK. TOXIC YAOI REAL!! Two Cookies of Deceit. One emotional and one empty. Smilk may be the best at psychological warfare and torture, but he got himself an emotional manipulator. Tr easily takes advantage of his emotions because he acts like a child!! Just give him what he wants then he'll be satisfied in no time. Take it away from him, he's gonna have his tantrums again.

Noe I couldn't add more tbh. You explained it well and all I could do is smash the TRUE over and over.

Even with my interpretation of canon that Tr won't last long with Smilk because of the Friendship Gang and "the universe couldn't allow this! One of you turn "good" now!", I like to think the toxicity still lives through Awakened PV since he's both Truth AND Deceit. Like a bright star from light years away that's actually dead, he could still act as of he were still TR to make Smilk more paranoid and obsessed with him in a more fucked up secretive way that other people wouldn't even notice because PV is already good! He wouldn't do evil things again, right? Hehe.

Also sharing this twt post of Tr ripping Smilk's eye as well. 🥰🥰🥰

https://x.com/41n4v15/status/1896085874628087843

[crk-kr-to-en]

I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

SO, your translations had gone popular on tiktok, only the Shadowvanilla translations btw. And they only know about the cake hound.

And then, because its related to shadowvanilla, there will be annoying shadowvanilla haters that thinks your translations are false. You know what? I was explaining to someone that the korean language is the original one, and every translations are based off the korean one and usually removes necessary stuff and adds unnecessary stuff in the eng translations.

and then someone tagged a VERY POPULAR purelily shipper under my comment which i explained that, they were telling the person who tagged them (a shadowvanilla shipper) that the korean language doesnt mean anything? They even said that the english translators worked hard to make it as accurate. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

I am so tired of this. they even fucking said that the cake hound doesn't mean anything?? Omg yeahhh theyre so right!!! Crk metaphors dont exist!!! like what the fuck!!! Theres so many people trying to make your translations false by saying its misinformation!!! IF THEY EVEN SEEN THE ORIGINAL ONE (your post) INSTEAD OF SEEING PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT ONLY.

Ive seen some people that thought the text after the translated description of the cake hound was a part of the description and they even used it as an excuse; "why the fuck would devsis even say “awww its in love c:”" why the fuck does shadowvanilla haters have no absolute reading comprehension. They jump onto conclusions too much i hate it. Your comment under the desc is obviously not apart of the translated description? why are they so stupid im gonna cry

that one purelily shipper that i mentioned pmo so much what the heck. they always have their way into trash-talking shadowvanilla in their videos????

sorry i am whining i just cannot stand the media illiteracy of shadowvanilla haters;;;

God, I'm sorry that happened to you Anon. Tiktok is just so full of assholes who keep circulating hate instead of learning literally anything good in their lives and can't understand nuances and metaphors for shit.

That pure lily shipper can waste seconds of their lives spending time making those trash talk videos because that will never stop Shamil's love implications, and it also makes them look stupid because they're a pure lily shipper.

Like, these people keep insisting pure lily is canon or whatever bullshit they keep spewing, but in canon, they've literally accepted that they're taking different paths and be apart from each other. Their skin story doesn't even count. Fairy Queen Lily was literally mourning Fairy King's death, meanwhile the fairies put a love potion in Pure Vanilla's eyes so that he would be in love with Fairy Queen Lily. (For the love of Witches why)(This is another metaphor for being blinded by lies btw. I hate this game.😭😭)

The whole fucking irony about all of this is is that the game's main plot is about Truth and Lies. And then you look some of the people in the crk fandom who literally couldn't handle the truth about the Korean translations being the legit stuff instead of accepting that majority of the English translations has been butchered to no end. Shadow Milk Cookie was right all along and these people don't learn ANYTHING at all.

Anyway, I hope Devsis Korea keeps showing Shamil's love metaphors about Pyuba every single future update because ShadowVanilla wins forever. (All Beast x Ancient are technically canon soulmates forever and ever and seeing them in a platonic sense mischaracterizes their dynamics as a whole lmao.)

[bl00d1nk]

ꜱʟᴀꜱʜᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴɴᴏɴꜱ; ᵈᵃᵗⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉᵐ

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:���･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

​🇨​​🇭​​🇦​​🇷​​🇦​​🇨​​🇹​​🇪​​🇷​​🇸​: brahms heelshire, patrick bateman, herbert west

​🇼​​🇦​​🇷​​🇳​​🇮​​🇳​​🇬​​🇸​: slashers ofc, brahms lack of hygiene, brahms being possesive, brahms stalking you basically,patrick being a dick, vauge nsfw in patricks, dead people obvi, body snatching, also not read over so if theres any mistakes whoopsies

​🇦​​🇺​​🇹​​🇭​​🇴​​🇷​​🇸​ ​🇳​​🇴​​🇹​​🇪​: first time writing for slashers omds + writing for the first time properly in like a year so teehee also lemme know if you want this for other slashers :PPP also i tried to write this v gn but idk if i acc did so pls gimme suggestions on how to keep everything in my writing inclusive plsss!!! also if ur wondering what "w/" means it just means with im just too lazy to write with teehee

¬𝙱𝚁𝙰𝙷𝙼𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝙴𝙻𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚁𝙴¬

𖦹 stinky

𖦹 i dont mean that in a funny way like this man fucking REEKS

𖦹 this means you will have to get him to wash himself

𖦹 only perk of that is showering n bathing w/ him, its a real big part of your relationship

𖦹 he likes it because hes close to you and it gives him a lot of comfort and feels really cared for if you wash his hair for him + likes the feeling of your fingers massaging his scalp

𖦹 he likes leaving things he thinks you'll like all around the house

𖦹 he found a crusty ass ring he'll think you'll like?KABOOSH!!!!! its on the bathroom counter

𖦹 he also doesn't take too kindly to anyone you talk to that isn't him, he gets really jealous n upset over that

𖦹 this makes him extremly bratty unfortunately

𖦹 prepare for him being in the walls and banging on them for hours on end to piss you off and placing that stupid doll everywhere just to get a scare out of you

𖦹 will literally refuse to do anything for you

𖦹 buttt you can make it up to him by telling him theres nothing to worry about n making him a wee sandwich + giving him kisses, easy peasy squeeze the lemon (im really hoping some of yous got that reference)

𖦹 brahms also likes cuddling

𖦹 a lot

𖦹 you're sitting down reading or on your phone? not without him on your lap nuzzing into your neck having a wee nap

𖦹 you might end up with dead legs by the end of it but hey! it was worth it

𖦹 probably......

𖦹 he just stares at you a lot but dw! not in a creepy way (from his perspective at least), he's just admiring your beauty

𖦹 really likes it when you read to him + it puts him to sleep

𖦹 also loves it when you brush his hair, surprise surprise it also puts him to sleep

𖦹 CLINGY!!!!!!!!! so very very very very CLINGY

𖦹 if you leave the room for a second he will follow doesnt matter if he knows where you're going he will follow

𖦹 gets so upset if you leave during cuddling even if its to pee

𖦹 he will whine n grasp n tug at what you're wearing in an attempt to get you to stay w/ him

𖦹 the time he spends following n watching you could be stalking atp

𖦹 seperation anxiety? he knows her, very well

𖦹 will cry if you leave the house until you come back, n the moment you do he practically jumps you, crying and wailing into your shoulder begging you not to leave him ever again

𖦹 will have no intentions of letting go of you for the rest of the day

𖦹 he also really like sleeping in the same bed w/ you

𖦹 he likes that he knows you're there, you can tuck him in, read to him, cuddle him, give him forehead kisses n comfort him in case he has a nightmare or vice versca

𖦹 n e ways 8.5/10 -1 for stinkyness, -0.5 for well him being him ig

¬𝙿𝙰𝚃𝚁𝙸𝙲𝙺 𝙱𝙰𝚃𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙽¬

𖦹 before i get into this one i actually hate patrick bateman w/ a burning passion for very obvious reasons so i struggled HARD w/ this

𖦹 alr so we all saw that les mis poster in the opening scene so he deffo would bring you along to watch any high end musicals w/ him

𖦹 SKINCARE!!!!!!!!! he has a whole ass ROUTINE which he will explain to you in great detail and explain why the water has to be a certain temp n why this needs to be put on this way n that needs to be put on that way

𖦹 would let you do skincare on him but beware that he will check the entire ingredients list before you put it on his face

𖦹 its rather boring to listen to but he looks so proud of himself while explaining it, how could you not listen?????

𖦹 he spoils you rotten like its acc so bad

𖦹 you wanted those fancy ass pairs of shoes? they're already in your hands

𖦹 you want a reservation at dorsia? you've got one

𖦹 you literally want anything in the world? you'll have it before you even know you want it

𖦹 he obviously doesn't like people apart from himself so when he found the slightest bit of attraction to you he immediatley became infatuated with you and your life

𖦹 why were you making him feel this way? how were you making him feel this way? was it sorcery? was he going insane? yeah

𖦹 suprise suprise this did lead him to asking you out which led you up to here getting whatever you want

𖦹 hes a jealous fucker i can tell you that

𖦹 especially when he sees you within a 6ft distance of paul allen

𖦹 he storms over and makes some passive aggresive comment toward the two of you and then tries to keep himself cool w/ some swanky inner monologue and eventually drags you away because he "needed to talk to you"

𖦹 spoiler alert, he didn't

𖦹 all this leads to is some rather lewd acts back at his apartment as he tries to reassure himself that he's much better than paul allen and taunts you asking if you think paul allen could make you feel this way

𖦹 rants on to you about his music collection and explains how he thinks this song led them to stardom and someone was an idiot for not releasing this and that as a single and not putting these songs in this album and yadayadaya

𖦹 great if you actually are bothered to listen to him rant on for ages horrific if you aren't, gets quite offended if you don't show much interest in his music

𖦹 i get if if you don't tho, its really something...

𖦹 we all know this man is a complete germaphobe so be absolutley horrifically aware of that unless you fancy getting yelled at

𖦹 he love love LOVESS watching texas chainsaw massacare with you, he loves it when you twos just sit there in silence and cuddle while watching people get brutally attacked n chased, how romantic!

𖦹 finds it funny when you grimace or go 'oh my god' at any brutal scene in it

𖦹 touchy

𖦹 v e r y t o u c h y

𖦹 at any public event he always has a hand snaked around your waist or has his arm linked in yours

𖦹 even in is apartment he still has that hand snaked aorund your waist

𖦹 not a fan of kissing bc he's a germaphobe but because he knows were you've been most of the time he dislikes it a little less

𖦹 prefers giving forehead kisses tho as its quick and much more hygenic than lips

𖦹 god that was tough to write but overall, 7.5/10, -2.5 for being himself. i hate him too much to give him a better rating so ja

¬𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙱𝙴𝚁𝚃 𝚆𝙴𝚂𝚃¬

𖦹 i am so horrendously excited to write this because for the last like 4 days i have not stopped thinking about reanimator, i eat sleep breath the franchise, and herbert west is such a giggle so teehee

𖦹 alright if you're not in the science field or have any connection to dan hes probably not going to take an interest in you as you're not one of his areas of interest

𖦹 if you are in the category of herbert wests interests well done! he tolerates you

𖦹 like patrick would notice how weird he felt around you and would probably blame it on 'primal urges' ew

𖦹 he would most likely ignore them until he can't, and it eventually all bubbles over and he just can't resist inviting you to his basement of wonders

𖦹 he just watches you intently the entire time your there much like brahms does, also not in a creepy way (in his eyes) just admiring you

𖦹 he probably goes on a rather detailed explanation of his work and what he did to get here

𖦹 if you ever feel a lil faint abt all that stuff he just puts a reassuring hand on your shoulder cuz hes a lil awkward

𖦹 lowkey enlists you alongside dan to go steal bodies and experiment on them

𖦹 if you ever get attacked by one of the re-animated he literally doesn't leave your side, mainly to see the severity of your injuries to examine the strength of the reanimated and the other tiny bit because he cares for you

𖦹 has shit talking sessions about dr hill w/ you, it mainly consists of him getting rather heated over the fact he plagiarizes his work and ya know the whole 6-12 mins thing

𖦹 is very clingy with you when dr hill is around as he doesn't want him to make any creepy ass remarks about you so he sticks to your side like he sticks to his research

𖦹 really appreciates is when you cook for him as he's a total basement dweller and doesn't leave it for food

𖦹 so lets say you actually did make something for him he would be really surprised and would be rather amused that you care enough to make him something and he'll gladly eat it

𖦹 also doesn't sleep a lot, so if and when he comes up from the basement he will be taking a nap on you

𖦹 speaking of him taking naps, he'll just plonk on top of you when he wants to take a nap so

𖦹 yay!!!

𖦹 like patrick with music herbert will rant on about science to you

𖦹 at any time, like you could be in bed ready to finally sleep and then he starts rambling about the R.E.M cycle and how benificial sleep is for the body yet he gets absolutley NONE

𖦹 isn't very good at expressing affection for you bc he's herbert so those naps and his rants are actually his way of showing he rlly likes you

𖦹 kissing isn't his favourite thing in the world bc of germs and stuff, so he presses quick kisses to your forehead, nose and cheek such a gentleman

𖦹 but, when herberts all whiny and annoyed at life he will be down for a cheeky make out sesh

𖦹 he gets very flustered after it which is pretty funny to watch so he usually distracts himself with science

𖦹 i genuinely couldn't tell you if he would use petnames or not

𖦹 will use your name 99.9999999999% of the time, just maybe will call you darling

𖦹 just maybe.....

𖦹 n e ways dunno what else to write so 8.9/10, -1.1 for being a body snatcher ig

omds that was so hard and I was gonna add more characters but i kinda got lazy but PLEEEAAAASSEEEE lemme know what you guys thought ty :3

[ganondoodle]

okay now, im a little pissed off- i wont be reblogging the post bc its and old shitpost and i dont want to attract more notes on it but

i am so fucking, and i mean FUCKING, tired of all the shit ass excuses some people try to make to defend ganondorf being a nothing burger character

this dumb ass comment really goes all in too, and here i painfully see how much damage skyward sword has done to him bc people cant fuking think i guess "as of skysw he doesnt have an true motivation of his own- hes evil just bc he is there nothing else to it" shut the fuck up man oh my god, you dont think thats a problem? you just accept that? no no OOT also already showed hes nothing but evil tm uwu he doesnt have a reason - AND THATS A PROBLEM YOU ABSOLUTE BUFFOON

if you think that giving ganondorf a miniscule amount of ANY sort of sensical reason to do what he does, a backstory, fucking anything 'changes him into a different character'- HOW in the FUCK do you not see the problem here

and my favorite (refernceing a different character) "If hes evil, like ganondorf, which means an absolute evil, then his backstory wouldn't matter a lick" HELLO??? HELL FUCKING O???? "absolute evil" do you know how you sound like??? also EVERYTHING MATTERS oh my god, but no no of course it wouldnt matter and make no difference if you knew more about a character, no, actually, knowing less of a character is better even! why even write anything tbh? you just give them a label of good or evil and then you dont need anythign else heehoo i cannot believe this shit is now hanging on one of my posts, im struggeling to even dismantle it bc its just so goddamn stupid what do you mean it woudnt matter???????? if i knew ganondorf had a personality (especially totk bc its the worst case), if i knew he had loved ones once upon a time, he laughed and was allowed to feel like a person, whatever made him go down a bad path to end up making you defeat him would mAKE IT ALL HAVE MORE OF AN IMPACT (this is assuming that whatever path it is leads him to oppose you but also .. it doesnt have to mean hes evil or done all bad deeds, guess what, you the player could also be playing the real "villain", wouldnt that be a change of pace .. or it wouldnt, depending on how you look at it (oh NO shift of perspective???) it already is, even if i personally prefer it ALL being a spectrum and not just a label of good and bad and just rolling with this badly definable bunch of words)

do you know why i didnt give a flying fuck about the final battle in totk?? bc its all fucking NOTHING, ganondorf is a goal post with a face that got "BAD GUY" written on it in big red letters stapled on it and nothign more, you cant care about nothing and the point of any story at all is to fucking CARE

honestly a reason why i hate both "redeemable" and the good and evil descriptor is that its so ... limiting, redeemable, what does that even mean really?? it just sounds like you are applying some weirdo christian sins to make up for with good deeds shit onto characters that are, or should be, meant to make you feel something and be a pinnacle of jesus instead, like a checkbox, a scoreboard, and now its being mainly used as a negative word to dismiss legitimate criticism of boring or shitty writing bc giving any character any depth at all now automatically means you want to redeem them and thus absolve them of their sins or some shit, make them uwu perfect little good guys which is not the point (even if there are people like that, sicne guess what, theres lots of different ideas of things all around, inlcuding this hellhole- and yes there are shitty ways to give a character depth! the problem then isnt the motivation to give them depth, its the WRITING of it)

the whole good and evil thing also is just so darn limiting, what does evil even mean, who defines it matters alot, what does good mean, the definition is also really really bendable- link kills more living things than ganondorf ever has yet he isnt evil (bc hes on the side of hyrule, the designated good gouys uwu which means anythign they do is okay), the royal family having a torture dungeon and persecuting the shiekah into submission doesnt make them evil uwu but the gerudo have to suffer for the "crime" of having birthed ganondorf at some point for all eternity i guess

(as well as the very very obviously stupid turns and things ganondorf does and doesnt do literally just bc they needed him to do soemthign you could call bad even if it makes no sense at all, why would he attack his own fucking people out of nowhere, why destroy everything, literally what for, why give himself up if he wants to rule its jsut as stupidly nonsensical as the dumb magic pebbles that just gives random powers out just to force the outcome they wanted to happen)

redeemable, saveable, whatever, giving a character depth doesnt have to mean you want them to join the good tm guys either and im so fucking tired of this way of thinking, EVEN considering that hey ... it would be cool actually to have a ganondorf as the main guy, but we all should know that would only happen if he is a servant of hyrule, which i would consider to be more out of character than ... GIVIING HIM ANY SORT OF DEPTH??? to sympthaize, be conflicted or see the guy you need to defeat has a point is like, not a bad thing?? you can make someone be the most sympathetic guy of all time and still make you fight him ??? and i will repeat again, ganondorf being a nothing burger (espeically in totk) hurts EVERYTHING, everything suffers from shitty writing and lack of writing, the thing that link and zelda are almost just as flat istn .. isnt good either?? its also bad but hes got it way worse (and the racism oh bOI)!!! (there is a reason why ww ganondorf is widely seen as the best one and itse literally bc he says ONE or two lines that may make you think omg .. he is person.... he might FEEL OoO- man the bar really is below the ground isnt it)

and they dont even care to try to make him actually be dislikable, he doesnt tease zelda with killing her father or soemthing, he doesnt have any sort of connection to any of them, every line he says (in totk) is like a prepackaged microwave villain line, you could apply it to anyone, even rauru and it wouldnt seem out of place tbh (which is BAD), more depth would have connected him to the story, the world the literal everything which means people care which means a better story i dont know how to explain to you that you should be able to care about characters??????? he gets the stamp of "evil guy" on his head and they expect you to be happy with that, accept any stupid thing they make him do and others say about him without question? do you NOT feel at least a little insulted???

and like, this is still written, this is a piece of fiction, they had to sit down and write all that, or .. well, NOT write it, they decided to do it like this, despite the ocean of potential in front of them, you could do so many itneresting thigns with this world and they jsut dont and then theres people like this that are so entrechned into this boring ass writing they think that its the point, liek the point is its bad hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"but hes not meant to be a person he jsut ev-" SHUT the hell up, nevermind the whole curse thing is an englsih trnaslation thing and also perhaps not meant to be taken literally, you think that makes it ok? that well there was a demon once (who also doesnt get any sort of depth btw!!! problem shoved one place over but still the same problem!) so that means hes not actually a person but idk a demon puppet or soemthing- doesnt change anything imo, are you not bored? are you not tired? are you happy with not thinking? not being engaged with at all? to see chaarcters to utterly flavorless you fall asleep and choke on them? i am not, i love thinking, im addicted to it even, i think every day even, right now too, they got a convenient excuse to put not even the barest fucking minimum of writing care into a character and you are jsut going with it!! where are your tastebuds buddy??

[tyunn1ngz]

soobin nsfw alphabet

cw: as ambigious as i could but could come off as afab!reader in some sections! no gender stated as always<3

a = aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

clingy!!!!! making sure ur alright, that nothing hurts, have u peed yet dont get urself an infection, do u need food or some water, u just want cuddles oh ok he can do that!!!!!!! its endearing despite overwhelming how much he cares :]

b = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

his hands and ur wrists/neck and these go pretty hand in hand bc his obsession with both starts bc of how his hands look wrapped around different parts of u >_> !! becomes especially obsessed with how easily he can wrap his long fingers around ur wrists (although hes entirely too gentle everytime he does it in ur opinion) !

if u have tits he’d also be a very big fan of them!

c = cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

another one who cums a Lot. loves cumming inside u so much dont make him pull out </3 he will of course but u could b filled w his babies cmon :< even if u can’t get pregnant he will be acting like u can and it makes him so nasty

d = dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

RLY adores cumming in u and then clean it all up w his mouth, might feed it to u sometimes too, tongues tangled up w ur mingling tastes :p

e = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

a little but everytime u would think its his first time, and he knows what he’s doing up until pleasure makes him stupid, and his most feral instincts take over :3c

f = favourite position (this goes without saying)

pretty standard w missionary, likes seeing ur face especially when he wraps his fingers around ur throat. if u have boobies hes also a fan of u riding him just so theyre in his face and he can have his mouth on them the whole time. even if u dont hes gonna b sucking and licking at ur chest w reckless abandon tbh he doesnt care . shrugs

g = goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

hes more serious but not too intense, its typically light hearted bc its just him rly caring for u ! <3

h = hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

generally well kept hes a manscaper or whatever but hes not that hairy to begin w. random but i want him to have heart pubes idk ฅ/ᐠ. ̫ .ᐟ\ฅ

i = intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

very!!!!!! intimate!!!!!!! even when he’s rough this man is fucking u like he loves u (which granted, he does) holding u close while he rearranges ur insides and tells u ur the prettiest person hes ever seen .. sighs dreamily

j = jack off (masturbation headcanon)

if he cant be w u hes absolutely jerking off all the time and he loves it just as much as sex itself tbh. huge perv he cant help that his mind is always in dirty places and making his cock hard. who doesnt love jerking off sometimes ! hes real for that idgaf !

k = kink (one or more of their kinks)

breeding or pretty much anything to do with cumplay at all. overstimulation and edging probably big ones for him too!!! both giving and receiving ;3c

l = location (favorite places to do the do)

besides ur bedroom, the couch bc it means u can ride him, and the shower; despite how inconvenient and slippery it might get sometimes ＿|￣|○

m = motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

literally anything and everything u do will get him going. smth spills from ur mouth when u take a drink, hes hard. he gets even a tiny glimpse of under ur shirt, hes hard. he even remotely thinks abt kissing u a little deeper than whats usually chaste and hes hard. u name it, he’ll find some way to divert it in his mind to some perverse memory or fantasy

n = no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

just nothing taboo, otherwise i don’t actually know what i’d say his turns off are … :S nothing to draw blood either

o = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

not any particular preference— he loves using his tongue on u as much as he loves having his cock in ur mouth, so u ask him and he’ll probably just end up shrugging and tell u that he’d love both at the same time if u would ever 69 w him<3 although he does like seeing u struggle to take his big cock w tears in ur eyes, so maybe sometimes he leans a little one way than the other ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ ！

p = pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow to start with so u can get used to the stretch of taking him, hes so big after all :((( soothing u with a shaky ‘is it too much, baby?’ before he fucks the absolute lights out of u when u give him the go ahead x_x

q = quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

loves a quickie bc he loves getting off like i have said a few times now ! obviously loves it more when he has time to savour and rly enjoy himself w u but he loves it all the same that he gets to giggle w u while u breathlessly do smth so dirty ✌︎('ω'✌︎ )

r = risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

yes and yes! risky to him sometimes is hotter and therefore best! ready to get caught by any of his members at anytime im afraid … poor guys … kinda …

s = stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

lasts a long time but its bc he tries and wants u to cum first, otherwise he’d blow his load so fast. edges himself if he really thinks hes abt to give in to his high. will go for as many rounds as u want and can handle bc again, always managing to make himself hard around u so !

t = toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

BIG fan of his fleshlight !!!! probably doesn’t own anything much else in terms of sex toys outside of that but thats all he probably needs anyway !!! jerking himself off w it when ur away, or fucking into it while u watch and say such dirty things to each other hnnnffff :(((((( ‘wish this was you, sweetheart. don’t you?’

u = unfair (how much they like to tease)

a crazy amount, but he makes it worth it bc u always get what u want in the end anyway, why not let him have a little fun w it? ur just so pretty when u beg a little <3

v = volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

louddd whimpers and the prettiest moans, and he practically hiccups when he gasps, he sounds sooooo pretty</3 tries his hardest to keep his volume down but u moan and it’s practically like a response the way he can’t help it :<

w = wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

wants (needs) to be pegged/topped at least once in his lifetime but has no idea how to ask for it which is crazy bc of how nasty he already is in bed. if u wanna bottom just say that, king! u have the ass for throwing it back!

x = x-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

ive seen the dick print tweets he is HUNG. end of talk thank u

y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

do i need to comment on this one or have we gotten the message yet … say hi hi hi hi 안녕하고 말할 만큼

take me high high high high 나를 좀 더 데려가 줘

z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

not so much tired as he is just satiated? ,,,so he’ll be pretty dozy but loves to chat w u after the fact. or at least he likes listening to you talk yk? he’ll give u hums of acknowledgment while u run ur hands thru his hair and pretty soon u’ll have him snoring away against ur chest lol<3