#but technically speaking we never do get a full name just last name and first initial

[arolesbianism]

Upon further examination, I am leaning more and more into Otto being a nonbinary egg opposed to a nonbinary person who uses he/him pronouns. Thanks for the help Mi-ma <3

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #22

Best of Wish

I enjoy Irep's grit-teethed remark when he mentions Anti-Fairies can't have godkids. He's just like his dad, for real, for real.

If he's this annoyed at the thought of Anti-Fairies not being allowed godkids, that kinda implies he wants one, which is interesting. Godkids were always one of Anti-Cosmo's interests, but never something Foop pursued on purpose or ever expressed interest in.

Please enjoy this cut Anti-Cosmo dialogue from an early script for "Fairly Oddlympics" that I think about constantly:

btw, there are a lot of funny deleted scenes in the old scripts that I love talking about, especially from this one, so if you find anything that catches your eye and post about it, you should @ me because I would enjoy reading your reactions <3

Plot twist - Irep is doing healthy things to work through his "scary godparent for Vicky" trauma while Peri's reaction to Vicky trauma was to cover his ears, hide behind his mom, and sing "La la la, la la la" to pretend she wasn't there.

Peri said his memories of childhood are blurry. I wonder if Irep remembers his childhood better since he was fully able to talk and comprehend things back then.

"Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place!"

I mean... Technically yes, but you used to have to sing for it. lol.

The Pixies, who are literally last in line for godkids below all other magical beings (including pegasi, bigfeet, and lake monsters), watching Irep stroll in like: ???

- which imo was implied to be a punishment for their race after H.P. was godparent to some unconfirmed kid I've been headcanoning was Dale for 7 years-

Actually, I like the implication that Irep was so fast to snipe Dev because he's been stalking them since he found out Peri was assigned a godkid.

Irep: Once a fairy quits, any magical being can take their place! Wanda: Peri didn't quit! He was waiting for you to call! Cosmo: He thought you two were on a break! Me: ... ?????? Peri was waiting for Irep to call and take him back? Run that by me again??

... I legitimately cannot tell if they're addressing Dev or Irep. Irep was the last person to speak, but Dev speaks next. Rewinding and listening to the conversation again, I can use my context clues to see they're probably looking at Dev (who is offscreen), but ?? why would you frame it that ambiguously.

Did anyone else get confused here or was that just me?

Also this has done nothing to disprove my previous "Peri is clingy especially where break-ups are concerned" interpretation.

I like how the very first wish Dev makes in this scene isn't for his dad to love him, but for Bev to love him.

How many kids in this class have names that rhyme with Dev and why is he so determined to befriend them all?

?? Okay, so I was previously confused about Dev's friendships because I was pretty sure I remembered him saying in Episode 1 that he and Trev were friends, but we haven't seen them interact at all. I went back and checked, and here's what he says:

"That's Trev! He's my bud, so he probably won't give YOU the time of day."

I wish we got to see him hanging out with Trev. Did they split after Trev didn't come to his sleepover?

- I just checked; I don't see any evidence of Trev at Hazel's. - Hey, did Winn and Jasmine ever find out Hazel lied to them about living in a 5-star hotel? - In conclusion, we are being ROBBED of the Trev-Dev-Bev friend squad.

Looking back, it's very funny that Dev made an effort to introduce Hazel to people when she was the new kid despite that not being his job... including giving some glowing reviews of a few of their classmates, including "This guy's my bud, this person's cool, and I respect this other guy." He wants to talk...

Also, moon is full in New York.

I keep waiting for Irep's music to drop again, but it never does in this scene. It's stressing me out; why did it only drop in THAT scene?

The version I'm watching unfortunately doesn't include credits and I can't find it after a few quick searches, but if Guy Moon did the music for this episode and remembered how he used to do it for Foop and his alt personality when they would do their switch cues 14 years ago, and so when he saw that body language he did it again, I'm gonna lose it.

Surely not... But he had to do it for at least 3 seasons; maybe it just stuck??

I don't see him credited for A New Wish at all on his own IMBD or Wiki page either. idk who did this episode, but I liked it. Hi, I'm the target audience; it's me.

And Irep's still a leftie! Even after putting both hands on the mace handle to smash it down, it goes back to his left when he takes one hand off.

He even does the "sword fight" with his left hand. It's the boy!!!

?? Is Irep's hair both blue (like both his parents') AND black (the color his tuft was in the OG series)?

Are his roots black, but the color eases to dark blue the farther out it grows? That's fantastic!

I like how Peri's hair looks most like his mom's but with a faint slope implying his dad's influence is there, and Irep's hair best parallels his dad's, but he gets his curl from his mom.

Huh. Looks like we've retired the 5 magic colors and now we're just pink poofs and dark blue lightning. Which I'm okay with; I just wasn't paying attention until now. But I know lightning-shaped Anti-Fairy magic was canon in "School of Crock," maybe others.

This does deprive me of my usual 2nd-watch shtick of reading moods based on color. Alas.

I enjoy Hazel rescuing the news reporter, but letting her know that she's a big fan of her work.

Okay, Irep uses his right hand at the last second, but I consider this a win.

I went back and checked frame by frame because I'm a NERD, and funnily enough... It looks like he changes hands after Cosmo blasts him in the left arm. It's hard to tell with the poof cloud, but when you consider the direction he moved (buffeted backwards), that implies it was a left-side hit. It's probably just coincidence, but that's funny.

I like Dev's silly star shades during this scene:

Peri's back!! Old buddies, ol' counterpart pals... I love that teeny-tiny movement Peri makes with his fingers to symbolize air quotes around "quit."

"I never gave two weeks notice~!!"

Also, this definitely belongs in my collection of counterparts using the same body language for opposite moods. idk if we'll see more of that, but it excites me that my stash grows!

I like Peri patting Dev on the head.

"He's still my godkid! :)"

Ooh, snap. Local cousins (once removed) are here to lay down Da Rules, as von Strangles do.

Aw, I like how undoing Dev's cheating means Hazel ends up with the prize shirt. I guess that makes sense; it just wouldn't have been my first thought.

I'm glad adult Irep makes squeaky sounds when you squeeze him. I seem to remember OG Poof making squeaky sounds when he bounced off walls.

Aw, Peri having a happy hug with his parents again! Instead of him feeling like they're overbearing. That's great.

Peri once again proving he's a jealous, clingy ex. I don't think this kid was okay when he was pried away from Timmy and I don't think he took his parents' leaving him on his own for 10k years very well.

I really enjoy Peri's body language throughout this series. All his little twitches and arm rubs and flicking eyes... It says a million words. You could talk forever about him.

I enjoy Dev and Hazel a lot this series, but I think Peri's my favorite. With all his little anxieties and moments he avoids eye contact, you really get the sense that he's working through a lot of baggage.

I like how his instinct was to be honest with his parents and then he immediately regrets it and closes off his body language, avoiding eye contact. He retracts what he said and says something else that he thinks makes him look better. He's got a lot going on.

The fact that he makes this big, decisive head nod as he changes his story to claim he wasn't "jealously spying on Dev" after quitting as his godparent, but he was instead "very normally and confidently passing by" is fantastic. That's... not how people talk in normal conversation, Peri. But I'm glad you're telling me you struggle with confidence issues.

- I think everything I've seen of you supports that. You've been the biggest anxiety ball ever since you got here. - Peri is the guy who'd be on edge wondering if he did something to make everyone mad.

It took me forever to get the above screenshots so I had to keep rewinding, and I have to say... I'm obsessed with that itty-bitty head tilt he does to the left before he goes full right. Idk why it's there, but I like it. It's like a shrug, or like he's thinking through his lie? I enjoy.

Also that teeny-tiny head squirm when he's enjoying the hug with his parents. He's so cute.

Okay, that's pretty messed-up of Peri to laugh with his parents while Dev is in the background really upset. Like, Peri is literally talking about Dev behind his back

-> I wish they'd snuck hints of purple in the background to indicate Peri was there, like a milk carton or pencil or something.

-> I stand by everything I've previously said about Peri not being emotionally mature enough to godparent. His kid needs comfort after a tough experience! Dev just got snapped at and punished by authority and now he's sitting on the ground looking dejected, and Peri's over there giggling!

-> C'mon, man! Hazel clocked on and she's trying to do your job for you. She shouldn't have to do that! (Though it's nice of her to try comforting her friend).

Oop, Dev just yelled at Hazel (again) and Peri did not discourage or discipline him in any way, and tbh... I don't think he even noticed. Because he was laughing and talking about his godkid with his parents. Dude, get your crown in the game.

I love Hazel throwing her prize shirt in Dev's face and shouting that she "hopes it was worth it" <3

I still don't know how to spell O-pairs and at this point, I'm too afraid to ask.

omg, Dev wants to learn about Anti-Fairies. Are we going to get lore and culture? Drama...

PERI, your godkid's running away!! Oh no, he can't hear us... he's got anxiety...

[vykio]

The game is flash fic Saturday and @merceyca and @billdenbrough and I spun a wheel with these reverse trope prompts. I got dating my enemy's sibling and jane pitched jeremy and neil and I have many thoughts on their potential dynamic HAHA but here's a little AU type thing about it—which I added to LOOL it is now 800 words and some change

“I don’t hate Neil,” Jeremy says, which must be as unconvincing as it sounds if the flat look Cat gives him is any indication. The thing is, he doesn’t, really, because Jeremy thinks hate is an emotion that takes far too much energy, and Neil hasn’t technically done anything to him that would warrant hating him. “I don’t. He and I just…”

“Do whatever the opposite of getting along like a house on fire is?” Cat says casually. She rolls her shoulder back then lifts the sleeveless cup of her dress again with a sigh. It’s been making her uncomfortable all night and it’s the only thing she can do to bear it. She hadn’t chosen to wear the dress tonight but her mother hadn’t given her a choice. Jeremy gives her a sheepish look, wishing he could do something for her, and she waves it off. 

Next to her, Laila shakes her head. She puts one of every buffet option she wants on her own plate, and everything she thinks she’ll like on Cat and Jeremy’s plates, for them to taste first. “More like Jeremy is the house and Nathaniel is the looming forest fire that lights him up,” Laila suggests. Her side-eye is extremely judgemental, which Jeremy thinks is unfair and untrue. Jeremy is always polite first when they’re forced into interaction, and Neil is often aloof or not secretive about the contempt he holds for Jeremy—and Jeremy can’t pinpoint when in the last year Neil became this way.

("Is Neil mad at me?" Jeremy asks Jean once, after an awkward greeting with Neil in their living room. It had  been stilted, but Neil's gaze on him had been intense, as if he'd been waiting for Jeremy to mess up—something. Jeremy wracks his brain to see where he might've misstepped with Neil, but then Jean turns towards him abruptly, bumping chest to chest and knocking him out of his thoughts.

"Hey," Jeremy says, surprised, then "Hey," more suave, with a flirtatious grin. "You don't have to bump into me to get my attention anymore."

Jean rolls his eyes and mumbles, "I've never done that." He exhales, his eyes doing a slow scan of Jeremy's face before he speaks again. "He is not mad at you. He's just weird. I will tell him to be—" Jean waves his hand, searching for words. He settles on, "—less weird."

Jeremy lets out a nervous laugh because he doesn’t know what else to say to that. Though Jean apparently followed through on his promise because now Neil is more careful about being openly wary of Jeremy where Jean can see him.)

“Neil,” Jeremy says to Laila automatically, as Neil has spent much time telling them he prefers the shorter name. 

“And you know what?” Cat spins the spoon in the air once, as if it might draw her thoughts up more clearly. She points at him with the spoon when she lands on what she wants to say. “I don’t even know the full extent of the beef you have with him.”

Before Jeremy can tell her he doesn’t either, there’s commotion at the door that steals their attention. They turn to find a swarm of bodies greeting the Moreau business moguls as they arrive at the charity event with their two children in tow. Jeremy smiles and waves at Jean when he spots him, and Jeremy can see from here how he lights up. Jean is halfway to him when he gets accosted by another guest. That leaves Neil clear in his line of sight. Neil stares so Jeremy stares back, and Jeremy refuses to look away first. Jeremy lifts his hand to wave stiffly at Neil, who rolls his eyes at him, and Jeremy doesn’t hold on to emotions like irritation but they do flare up when someone is being rude. Neil turns away before Jeremy’s fake smile could falter, but he lets it slip when Neil slinks into the crowd.

“We don’t have beef,” Jeremy says lightly, picking up a spoon and gently moving the food around it so it doesn't spill over the edges of his plate. Jeremy considers adding that he’s a vegetarian and he’s not freaking scared of his boyfriend’s brother, but if 3OH!3 makes their way into the conversation, Laila might scream, which would set Cat off screeching with delight, and then they’d have a real scene on their hands and maybe more ammunition for Neil to hate him. “I have a feeling he just hates anyone who talks to Jean.”

“No, it’s just you,” Cat insists, leaning into him. “He has nice, long-winded conversations with me about Animal Crossing and how much he hates this bitch-ass falcon on his island.”

“He talks to me like a normal person,” Laila adds.

Jeremy gasps, “Traitors,” just to be dramatic, and when Cat grins at him wickedly, he grins back.

[arealphrooblem]

Deathtouched

For @heroes-villains-side-blog because I saw your little collection of Villain with Death Touch powers/Hero who is immune fics and got inspired. ^.^

Technically, Hero was not cleared for field work. Sure, they knew some self defense moves in case of emergency. They carried a taser and knew how to shoot a gun with great accuracy. But their power was not an offense-based power and so Hero’s job happened after the villainous defeats at the hands of other Heroes.

Hero was a Nullifier. A touch from them prevented any other Powered individual’s abilities from activating. Their blood was drawn monthly and used in serums given to imprisoned Villains. Sometimes, when a Villain’s power was particularly dangerous, Hero stepped in to bind them or dose them with serum.

But they had never faced a Villain awake and at full power. They never confronted anyone.

Until today.

Villain first appeared on body cam footage, in the middle of a street fight between Superhero and some low level villain grunt. He appeared like a ghost, a shadow figure that materialized from the shadows. In fact, his sudden presence stopped both Superhero and Grunt mid swings.

 Hero had initially rolled their eyes. Villain was tall, dressed in all black, complete with billowing cape and leather gloves. Like a Darth Vader fanboy, but without the mask.

No obvious powers either. No electricity or super speed or invulnerability. Hero wondered if this really was just some glorified cosplayer with a couple of gadgets and no real power to speak of. Just someone desperate for a little notoriety from the body cam footage.

“Who the fuck are you?” the Grunt had demanded.

Villain ignored him and looked straight at Superhero. “I need him. Hand him to me and no one else gets hurt.”

“Why?” Superhero had asked suspiciously. “What do you plan on doing with him?”

“That’s none of your concern.”

“I’m afraid, as an Hero of the Agency assigned to this area, it’s every bit my concern.”

As Superhero and Villain faced off, Grunt had tried to slink away. Before Hero could warn Superhero, Villain whirled around and grabbed a handful of Grunt’s jacket and slammed him up against the wall.

“Look, we obviously both have an interest in Grunt,” Superhero had said, approaching the Villain in slow cautious steps. “Why don’t we work together? You could come with me and question him back at the Agency.”

Villain leveraged Grunt against the wall with a forearm to the throat as he worked one of the leather gloves off.

“I don’t want to question him,” he had said before placing a long-fingered, elegant hand against the side of Grunt’s face.

Grunt let out an earsplitting scream of agony that lasted only a few seconds before he slumped over.

Lifeless.

The camera shook as Superhero immediately took several steps backward.

“What did you just do?” he had demanded.

“Walk away and you won’t have to find out,” Villain had warned.

If only Superhero had listened; he would still be alive.

Over the next week, a trail of bodies followed Villain, mostly grunts and spies and brokers for Supervillain. This was clearly a mission of vengeance.

 The Agency had debated on teams to send out, but hesitated to act. Superhero had been one of their strongest agents and he died in seconds at a mere touch. They didn’t want to risk anyone else to fight a Villain they knew nothing about.

And frantic searches revealed nothing about this guy.

Time ran out when Villain himself appeared at the doors of the Agency, like a nightmare come to life. The only person who volunteered to meet him was Hero.

“What is your name and why are you here?”

Hero’s voice didn’t shake, but their hands did. They kept them tightly in their coat pocket, fingers tightly wrapped against the glass syringe.

“I am here for Supervillain,” he said. “And if you let me kill him, no one else needs to die. I’ll even turn myself in.”

Revenge, just as Hero expected. Supervillain, locked away deep, deep, underground, was probably the worst of his kind. The personification of pure self-serving evil. If Hero was head of the Agency, they would roll the red carpet out for this villain to do exactly that.

But that would set up a dangerous precedent.

“I’m sorry. Even if I could take you at your word, I can’t allow you to waltz in and execute a Depowered individual.”

The Villain’s eyes narrowed and he took slow steps forward. Hero took several steps back before they even realized it, until their back pressed against the front door.

The locked front door.

Villain loomed before them, and Hero remembered how much the galaxy had feared Darth Vader, even if he did look ridiculous.

“You are not a fighter,” he murmured. “You have no profile in the Agency.”

 One gloved hand rose slowly to to cup their face. Hero shrunk back on instinct but had no where to go. Their heart thundered in their ears.

“You’re a sacrificial lamb they threw to the wolves while they scramble for an escape.”

He sound almost sorry for Hero, a thread of sincere empathy in his dark velvet voice. It did nothing to quell the choking fear. Villain’s power couldn’t hurt them, no. But a bullet could, or a hand wrapped around their throat, or even a good old fashioned beat down. Villain was much bigger than Hero and there were a thousand ways to die that had nothing to do with powers.

“There is no need for you to die,” he said softly. “Go home. Stay out of my way.”

He took a step back, putting enough distance to allow Hero to follow his orders. A locked door wouldn’t stop him and if he got into the facility he would kill every single person who stood in his way.  

They had one chance to take him out and they had no hope to win a fight. So Hero used their only other advantage — surprise.

Steeling themselves, Hero took two firm steps forward, fisted their fingers in edges of his cape, stood on the tiptoes and kissed Villain square on the mouth.

He flinched back immediately, but Hero kept their grip strong and did not pull away until the Villain’s mouth went slack in shock.

His gaze was a dark, glittering abyss.

“How,” he said hoarsely. “How?”

Hero’s only reply was the sharp jab of the needle into his neck as they plunged the sedative into his system.

Part Two:

[miraclesabound]

Spoiler-Heavy Review/Thoughts on "The Last Voyage of the Demeter"

The crowd at the theater grew to about 15, so still pretty quiet.

Short version is that I enjoyed this movie thoroughly, but it is truly gruesome. The entry will start below the cut with spoilery warnings, because even having read the book, there were some things that caught me off guard.

Warnings for this film include:

trafficking of a young woman as a blood bag/bride for Dracula

Use of racial slurs against both a Black and a Romani character

deaths of all animals on board, including livestock and a young boy's beloved dog - shown with full gore

death of three crew members by burning in the sun after vampiric possession, including the young boy (the captain's grandson)

One of those three choosing sunlight as their method of suicide rather than allowing themselves to fully turn into a beat.

In fact, no one dies peacefully - this version of Dracula is emphasized as truly beastly, relishing the fear of his victims.

I know we've all been rooting for the Captain (named Captain Elliot in this version), but the true protagonist is Mr. Clemens, played by Corey Hawkins. We never get his first name, but we learn that he's a Black English doctor making his way home from Bulgaria/Romania, and he offers his services to Captain Elliot when a previously hired hand refuses to touch anything marked with Dracula's symbol - the stamp of a black dragon.

Other characters include: Captain Elliot and his young grandson Toby, Anna, the young woman given to Dracula as a captive by her village, and the men of the crew, all of whom have sailed with Captain Elliot before.

Then of course, there's Dracula himself. I saw some reviews saying he's shown far too early in the movie - but it worked for me. We find out that Anna was locked in his coffin with him and was meant to sustain him for the whole voyage - so when we see Dracula, he's weak and wracked with hunger for losing his food supply when Clemens finds Anna and starts treating her. Since we see him like that early, there's room for him to grow to almost full power as he burns through the animals and then the crew.

I enjoyed just about every performance in the film, but Corey Hawkins (Clemens), Javier Botet (Dracula), and Woody Norman (Toby) were particular highlights. Clemens is your classic cynical scientist with a heart of gold, Dracula speaks less than you would expect but still has that taunting air, and Toby doesn't read as older than he's supposed to be.

As story beats go, I think I appreciated Anna's the most. I've said in my reread of Dracula that I wish modern adaptations did more with the people of Transylvania hating Dracula, and this version presented that in Anna's character. She's lived under Dracula's shadow as long as she can remember, even before her village elders handed her over, and once she's freed and recovered some of her strength, she's finally able to fight back. I'm a sucker for a character who knows they're doomed but still tries to do the right thing, and Anna is that in spades.

THE LIGHTING IN THIS MOVIE WAS ACTUALLY EFFECTIVE!!!! The daytime scenes were vibrant, and all the nights scenes are lit by an enormous full moon and several stars. It makes the shadow work less muddied than you might see in a more modern-style horror movie.

The movie ends with Clemens technically surviving, but still deeply traumatized and literally scarred - he and Anna scuttle the ship and jump overboard, but not until after Dracula has drunk enough from Anna to curse her and he's badly hurt Clemens' neck. Anna gives herself over to the sun so that Clemens can get to shore, and the closing scene is clearly a sequel hook as he hunts for Dracula in London - or perhaps the Count has already realized that Clemens is on his tail. This worked for me because the film stuck with Clemens. I kept expecting him to run into one of the core Dracula characters, and I'm not sure I would have liked that.

This is all a very long-winded way of saying that this was a film I truly enjoyed, and it is a LOVE LETTER to the book's thesis - the supernatural may have come out of hiding, but if we band together, evil may be halted - even for a little while.

Rating: 8.5/10

[buggiethedrag0n]

HAIIIII my new reference sheet 4 any1 who wants 2 draw meee :333

i have way more outfits than just these 2 but i dont have the energy 2 draw that much lololol

the raccoon tail patterns that go infront of my chest are fake hair extensions btw :)) i have a lotta different ones

ANYWAYYYYYY the rest of mah info under the cut :33 !!!!!!!

Full name: Bugthing (you don’t get to know my last name 😁)

Aliases: Bug, Creature — Buggie (FRIENDS/FAMILY ONLY)

Species: Concept Dragon (Fire, Type 3) / Angel (Type 4) hybrid

Planet of Origination: The Concept Universe / ‘The Void’

Age: I’m not telling you that. (OOC: usually it depends on which universe i throw him it but i typically characterise him as my age. which makes him a minor.)

Height: 8’9”

Gender: Biologically female; identifies as transmasculine & xenogender

Pronouns: He/Him/His, Xey/Xem/Xeirs/ It/Its/Itself, They/Them/Theirs — Blood/Bleed/Bloodself, Gore/Gory/Goreself (FRIENDS/FAMILY ONLY)

Sexuality: Solian, fictosexual, fictoromantic (i use the term aroace in conversations tho, its easier :3)

S/O: None. Technically. Unless you count my F/Os (that being Galacta Knight, Holly/THK, Moonjumper, and Shamura)

Family: Parents, brother, a number of cousins (and technically that one fankid i made for me n holly named Moggie but. They’re not canon.)

I’m an artist and fanfic author, and Nebbie’s assistant as a newly ascended Creator entity!!!!

Buddies with uhhhh God :))) (or Jesus ig but her name is Yk here. I call her Nebulis/Nebs/Nebbie tho. Bc we’re friends :3) (he uses all prns btw)

Bc of my fun powers and rights as Nebbie’s assistant creator I get to travel to whatever universes I feel like. Both to make sure everything’s going well and nobody’s broken the space time continuum and also to hang with my favs.

I like to call myself a Nice Boy(TM) but thats only really to my friends/family (not including my brother because I fucking hate him). I can get REALLY mean when I’m upset/if i don’t like you. But yeah I’m usually pretty ok!! Not the best person out there but at least I’m not a bigot lol. SPEAKING OF BIGOTS a lot of my very outward “”””cringe”””” behaviour is from me just being comfy in my own skin and pissing ableists off On Purpose bc I find it funny (it is).

I’ve lived in the Concept Universe/Void my whole life, but I tend to wander off to various universes both for My Duty(TM) and also I Like The Characters. I was first given the opportunity to leave the Void when I was abt 8 I think? My good buddy/auntcle figure Xephyr asked me and my brother if we wanted to check out what ppl were doing down there (with Nebs’ and our parents’ permission ofc), and we agreed. I’ve never been normal since (that’s a good thing though).

I don’t USUALLY do fighting stuff (unless I’m in like a COTL variation universe or something) but when I do I usually just use fire. I might be a pyromaniac. Which is concerning because I have fire magic and can easily commit arson. Yeag :)

Hex codes

(Not including the bracelets or hair extensions)

Body/both fits or smth:

#0E0E0E — Horns / Burns / Burnt feathers / Fit 1 base

#0400B4 — Iris

#D80000 — Tail tip

#FFB7A7 — Blood / Blush

#F8D7CF — Scars / Wing webbing

#EBE6E6 — Freckles

#FAFAFA — Skin

#FFFFFF — Teeth / Talons / Septum piercing gems / Glasses lenses

#F7FBFF — Sclera

#F2F2F2 — Hair / Feathers (the ones that AREN’T scorched)

#F9DEBF — Halo star / Light magic things 2

#F3B16D — Halo / Light magic things 1

#000000 — Nose / Septum piercing / Fishnets (alt fit) / Glasses frame

Usual fit:

#0F0F0F — Belt base

#910000 — Fit accents

#C40000 — Belt accents

#BEBEBE— Belt buckle

#3A2222 — Socks (ignore the fact that this isn’t in the ref image plsss)

Alt fit:

#161616 — Shirt base

#2E2E2E — Shorts 1

#464646 — Shorts 2

#CCCCCC — Belt buckles

#DFDFDF — Belt 1 studs / Chains / Choker & cuff spikes

#F3F3F3 — Shirt pattern 1 (anarchy symbol)

#81FF5A — Shirt pattern 2

#FF5AEC — Shirt pattern 3

#FA0000 — Cuff / Choker

Funny Rainbow Checker Belt (gets its own section bc SO MANY COLOURS):

#D70000 (red)

#D76D00 (orange)

#D79200 (orange-yellow)

#D7C000 (yellow)

#65D700 (yellow-green)

#00D73E (green)

#00D7BD (teal)

#009ED7 (light blue)

#0034D7 (dark blue)

#5300D7 (purple)

#7200D7 (purple-magenta)

#B600D7 (magenta)

#D700B7 (pink)

#D70065 (pink-red)

Socks (again, its own section bc too many colours):

#FF6690 (pastel red)

#FF9997 (pastel red-orange)

#FFB881 (pastel orange)

#FDFFA7 (pastel yellow)

#84BCFF (pastel blue

#9C84FF (pastel purple)

#A210FF (magenta)

(istg if you draw any nsfw of me ill devour you)>🐜

~bugmod

[fabiolajyx]

They cancelled The Serpent Queen and I am so fucking mad!!

I'm french and guess where do I live? In the Loire Valley!! My hometown, Vendôme, is where The House of Bourbon (the one we see in the show) is from. Their full name is actually de Bourdon-Vendôme, because there are three different branches and if we only mention "Bourbon", it's kind of confusing because we don't know which branch we speak of and Bourbon-Vendôme is the one Henri IV is from. Which means, the character that we see in the show lived in the castle located next to my elementary school! I was young but I can still see and hear my teacher telling my class "This castle next to us was a big deal.". Henri IV didn't live here but he came a few times, especially when his mother, Jeanne d'Albret, died and was buried here (along with Antoine and their first born son (and Louis, Antoine's brother)). So when Jeanne died in the show, in the story, they technically should have been in my hometown (and Antoine and Louis should have been already dead lol). Same as when Antoine and Louis went back home to their dads. François I, François II, Marie Stuart, Charles IX and Catherine came here. Sadly, the castle is just ruins now... But it makes me sad that they never mentioned the name of the town once. Even Reign mentioned it. I mean, everyone knows that Reign was more fiction than facts but still, they mentioned Vendôme in one of the latest episodes of the show and it's still one of my proudest moment 🥹

Since I live in Vendôme, it means that I live 30 min away from le Château de Chambord, where they filmed most of the show. I love going there whenever I can but sadly, I never got the chance to go there when they were filming... 💔 It was weird and funny to see how they edited the outsides of the castle. Some editing didn't make any sense but I get it. Also, the big gardens are from a completely different castle located in Villandry. So it was weird to see Chambord edited in the background. And it didn't make any sense when we would see Chambord fully and the gardens weren't there, haha.

Also, le Château d'Amboise was used two times and they kinda disrespected it 😅 I'm not entirely serious when I say this but I kinda I am. The first time is in the season one finale, when Mary "arrives" in Scotland. The second that I saw the location I said "Oh, Amboise" and then I saw the ocean next to it and realised that it was supposed to be Scotland 😭 The second time was in season two when Catherine visits Diane (who is still pretty young and most importantly, miraculously still alive in 1572 😭). When Diane and Catherine talk we discover that they are in "Anet" (where she died in 1566). I was so happy when they mentioned where they were in the story but I was like "but, but, it's Amboise, guys 😭". It's funny and confusing for me because I know those castles but it's perfectly fine for an audience who has no clue. Also, le Château d'Anet is a private property, so I don't know if they would have allowed the show to come and filmed there, but also I've seen a documentary a few months ago and the owner seems very sweet, so I don't know. They also used Amboise, the town, to be Paris, where Catherine's brother was supposed to build le Palais des Tuileries.

And last but not least, I wanna talk about Blois (20 min away from me, next to Chambord) Oooh, Blois is probably my biggest heartbreak from that show. In season one, it made sense to be in Chambord because this castle was François I's baby but he lived there for only a month. Henri II didn't live there but kept the constructions going. When Henri II died, François II didn't live there. Charles IX didn't live there either but just like his father before him, he kept the constructions going and consolidated it. Henri III and Henri IV didn't live there and didn't do anything to it (it's such an Anjou and Henri behavior if you ask me haha). But if Henri II, François II, Charles IX and Henri III didn't live there, then where did they live, you ask?! Well, they lived in BLOIS. Which means that the whole show should have been happening in le Château de Blois, not Chambord. Y'all have no idea how excited I was when I heard that season 2 was filming in Blois. I thought, finally, they are going to aknowledge the most important castle of the Valois! I mean they actually all lived there and this is where Catherine died!! When I say that that castle is important to the Valois' story, it's because it is. Do I need to tell you how disappointed I was when I saw season 2 last week? A) I was expecting multiple scenes in the castle and well, that didn't happen. B) I had to wait the very last episode to see what they filmed there. C) THEY DIDN'T EVEN FILMED IN THE CASTLE!!! We see all the Protestants walking across the bridge, we see a few streets that I'm not even sure if it's actually Blois and then we see the castle, in the background, behind all the protestants who are looking at a cathedral that is not even located there. THEY EDITED THE CATHEDRAL OF TOURS IN BLOIS 😭 It's not fair. Honestly, all the editing stuff didn't really bother me. I understand that they did whatever they needed to for the aesthetic of the show. But not mentioning once the name of the town that was important to the true Valois Kings and Queens is something that I truly don't understand.

The show is about the French history, is filmed in France and guess what? We had NO WHERE TO WATCH IT IN FRANCE. The show arrived like a week ago on Max and it's been n°5 in the top 10 since then. French people want to see their country in a show and support it, we have the proof and THEY CANCEL IT?! I am so upset. They could have give it a third and last season to wrap it up. Season 2 was so much better than season 1. The Valois siblings did bring so much more depth, especially Anjou.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I'M LOSING KING ANJOU. The potential that he had was insane.

Okay, I'm gonna shut up now and cry about it 😭

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Okay I've read through the entirety of the Yves tag and I've come the conclusion, and I'm speaking for myself here: we ain't compatible ✨

And I know the response to that would be "well he did all this research on you, he can just change himself to be compatible" and that's exactly why this cannot work. I don't want what he thinks I want, I want the truth. I want the real, unfiltered him, but he would never give that to me. He would fold and play a character and that doesn't sit right with me, especially if I ever find out about his database. He's just a liquid taking the shape of my container. So squishy. I need a fellow solid.

All this talk of him providing for you, listening to you, comforting you. Relationships are a two way street, when would he ever let us provide the same things to him? I wanna rub his back when he feels it ache, I wanna hold his hair up while he voms in the toilet, I wanna cook him soup as he lays in bed sick, I wanna hold him in the night when he gets nightmares, but he never lets us in on anything about him!

Also his way of finding information about us doesn't hit the spot. Why are you asking my relatives questions and snooping through my Internet history? I'm right here! Ask me! This circles back to what I said before, I want to know about him the same way he wants to know about me!

And even the real parts of him that he does share, I'm not compatible with! I'm not okay with not knowing anything about him like his age or last name. Even if he was an eldrich being, I wanna know! As his s/o I should be the one person in the world who gets to know!

And he doesn't want children, so I would never have a child with him, because I do not want to bring a life into this world of they will not receive the full love of both parents. But I want children. And he would give me children if I want, but I don't want them if he's not going to be a loving parent, and if he's not going to be a loving parent, then I will raise them by myself, and if I'm raising them by myself, I might as well not be with him. So the simplest answer is to not have children in the first place. But I want children.

Another thing is the house. He dislikes it when we change anything so he has an extra room for us to do whatever we want in. This does not set well with me! This is not our home, this is HIS home and we just get a little corner to ourself. What's the difference between living with him and living with your parents? Now I could express this to him, and he might allow us to add things to the rest of the house to make it look like there is more than one person living here, but we know that he would hate it not being in the pristine state it was in. I don't want to make him uncomfortable in his own house when he pays all the bills and owns everything. So I won't ask that of him. But I will be miserable.

And god dammit if I bite you, I want you to bite back! I want to rough house every once in a while! I want to argue! I want everything you have! Not just what you think I like! And if you can't get me that, then we're gonna have to call it quits! Take that into consideration for your research!

"but he's a yandere" then I hope he's happy with me being miserable! (Once again, I am strictly speaking about myself. If you can overlook these things, power to you!)

well like he wont,, necessarily change himself entirely, like what u basically described is stuff that he is hard set on not changing, so the path of least resistance is changing you. n that is horrifying ngl and hot 2 me, so id say he has a squishy exterior like idk 3 inches deep, but then its pure solid steel underneathx

oh yea he lieks playing caregiver, he doestn necessarily hate being taken care of its just he thinkgs is unnecessary especially hes probably not human, and he is built that way bro like hes technically v v low maintenance!!! and eugh authenticity gross me out </3 like why be real when u can eat this ass like groceries ykno what i mean

mans will ask u stuff to like wanna know u thats for sure, the onlyy things is that he already knows what ur gonna say or determine what u said is half truth, lie or like an embellishment- so there's a huge illusion of trust there, he already seen the spoilers to ur life bro he just wanna watch the movie again from like a different website

no bro u got the child thing all wrong  😭 he is not letting you take care of ur child, like he will raise them even though he hates them , just in his special grotesque Yves-ness way, and yea i get it, to a lotttt of people the topic of wanting children is a deal breaker 4 them. I the author personally do not want kids hence my projection on him <3

oh yeah mans a control freak for his house , don't know if u read "yves in a nutshell" , but basically he's like parallel to a parent on the stricter side that mostly caters 2 ppl who have this flavour of daddy issues who wants a more controlling zaddyy in their life but he would be discrete about it

trust me man he will not sit there and be uncomfortable, he will straight up tell u what he thinks about ur decor but in a loving way, like negotiate with u to keep it in ur room, but if u insist on doing ur way he will resort to scolding, then finally: literal brainwashing

ough no mans does not like arguing he will fr go MKUltra on ur ass if ur the type to like roughhousing, Yves is literally a librarian that want no rowdyness, nuh uh he wants quiet

like fr the point of Yves is that he is the manifestation of obsessive gentle parenting featuring old school CIA torture techniques with a cameo of suffocating parental trauma, its mostly delicious to us parental issues people and i think ur seeing Yvess too much as a partner like an equal  when he is not meant to be an equal AT ALL😭 whereas he is ironically meant to be objectified to be confined to this one slave that is a caretaker, lover and a protector who knows how to say no sometimes

like fr thanks tho for reading my stuff, but yeaahhhh that is 4 sho ur not gonna be compatible with Yves or any of my OCs, like ur too selfless, kind, independent and loving for my Yanderes </3.

also are u by chance the one ghostliking my stuff

[eosofspades]

so i'm seeing some ideas going around that this (horrifying) scene from the trailer -

- isn't our Ghost, but a Ghost, and i wanna talk about it.

i do think this is our (the player's) Ghost, for a couple of reasons! for starters, there's the obvious - the classic shell they use for The Guardian's Ghost in trailers, the Guardian being a Titan (also what Bungie tends to depict The Guardian as in trailers), the fact that in a trailer of this significance, it seems really unlikely that they'd be showing us something as intense as this with an unknown/unnamed character, etc.

but more importantly, a lot of people seem to be thinking that this Ghost and Guardian are... actually getting sliced up, which i don't think they are.

bear with me for a bit! while that's absolutely what looks like what is happening, i'm at least 80% certain this scene is going to be the Witness giving the Guardian a terrible vision/hallucination (similar to what happened in Shadowkeep where we encountered the Dark Guardian in the Black Garden.) and there are another couple of reasons for this!

(the rest under a read more - this one really got away from me.)

for one thing - purely from a technical standpoint - the Young Wolf and their Ghost just... straight-up can't die; at least not permanently, at least not yet. they're the player character; you're going to need them to actually continue playing the game.

(i've also seen people suggesting this can't be our Ghost from a technical standpoint because that would mean Bungie having to do the slicing animation for every single Ghost shell in the game, which, to be fair, is a completely valid assumption to make - but in my opinion, based on the sheer volume of detail within this game's scenery and animation, and the unbelievable attention to the smallest possible details that most players won't even notice - i would absolutely not put it past Bungie to put in that effort, and, moreover, i have another idea that goes hand-in-hand with the "this is a vision" thing; that they didn't have to animate every single shell - but i'll get to that in a bit.)

now, from an in-game perspective, it doesn't make sense to me to have this not be our Ghost, or to have it not be a vision. for one thing - if what the Witness is doing is actually slicing up all of these Ghosts and Guardians and ships, that's just… a little bit nonsense. yes, the Witness is unbelievably powerful and terrifyingly dangerous, but if it is actually capable of unmaking living, paracausal things with a single flick of its finger, that seems… unlikely in terms of power, at most, because if that’s the case there truly is no fight to be had. the Witness could obliterate the Guardian before we even had a chance to draw our gun. it just seems unrealistic that if the Witness was that overtly powerful, there could even be a compelling battle against it.

(it’s also worth mentioning that the Witness’ entire thing is visuals and appearances over actual physical confrontation. it doesn’t even appear in the flesh to Calus at all times - in fact, the trailer makes a point of showing that it speaks to him through a cracked mirror, and in the final Seraph cutscene that it appears to Eramis via a screen; there’s the fact that the Darkness is constantly waving around this motif of visuals and appearances (the Dark Guardian vision during Shadowkeep; Deepsight; the Nightmares on the Moon, etc.) and even that it’s name is the Witness - you get it.)

there’s also the matter of emotional impact. like, don’t get me wrong, this is fucking horrifying. actual, full-body dread and fear at this scene when i first saw it. but you cannot tell me you would be just as distressed and unsettled if it were a random Ghost paired with a random Guardian we’ve never seen before - our Ghost has been getting so much character insight and development in the last two DLCs (his fear -> reluctance -> hesitant acception of the Guardian using Stasis, his complicated feelings regarding his faith in the Traveler explored during Witch Queen or his hostility -> understanding towards Fynch, etc.), i can’t imagine Bungie is going to give us this close-up, visceral, nightmarish scene with a Ghost we don’t know and have no attachment to.

(also, i made a post about this already, but in this trailer alone i am seeing SO MANY parallels to The Red War campaign - the fact that the Ghost and Guardian are in the exact same position as we were during the Red War intro is not lost on me. this also ties back into my “only animating one Ghost shell” thing - if it is a vision, i think it’s possible that the reason the Titan in the trailer is in “older”-looking armor is because you’re seeing yourself and Ghost in what could be a potential callback to the Red War - hence having Ghost be in the Last City shell, and the Guardian in “older” armor; because what’s happening here is not what is real; it’s supposed to be the Witness getting into your head. (or, again, maybe the Titan is just in that armor for the trailer and Bungie did animate the Ghost shells! at the very least, i doubt that having a non-player’s Ghost be in the Last City shell is probably not going to happen, since that’s the shell we tend to associate with our Ghost.))

what i think is actually happening here is one of two things: either the Witness giving the Guardian a horrifying “vision” in order to scare us/make us understand why it believes the Traveler heralds death and needs to be eliminated (i’m going to shamelessly plug in my obsession with Unveiling once again, but the Winnower explicitly explains to us at least couple of times that it believes existence is full of suffering and many things would be better off not existing at all to spare ourselves the torment. i can absolutely see the Witness trying to intimidate/terrorize us with a vision like this in order to get across its point that the Traveler will allow us to suffer and writhe and never be able to escape it.)

the other guess i have, which is unlikely but still something i think would be very very neat, is that - with the Witness’ whole shattered glass motif and the way its hands move, like it’s altering reality as it exists - it would be incredibly interesting if the Witness were actually “dismantling” us, so to speak - even if just for a moment, maybe before summoning us to the final confrontation of the campaign, just as a sheer power move. so when the Guardian gets there, they’re afraid and disoriented and unable to focus (this is, again, incredibly unlikely, probably, but i really really want to see some threats from enemies on an incredibly personal level. i have been dying for an enemy to get to us in an uncomfortably up-close and personal manner, or at least for the Guardian to have actual reactions to things. i would love to see another callback to the Red War, maybe, with the Guardian and Ghost collapsed and the Witness towering over them.)

obligatory disclaimer that i could always be wrong, of course, and if it turns out to be a random Ghost and Guardian getting ACTUALLY sliced up i’ll admit it and eat my words, but with what we’ve seen at this point in time, it really doesn’t make sense to me that it would be anything other than a vision being experienced by the player Guardian and our Ghost.

[distressednoise]

WIP wednesday

Back on my bullshit (sad brassian in under-described liminal spaces) and actually have a WIP on WIP wednesday for the first time in ::checks calendar:: we do not speak of it.

In which Cassian hits a snag on the way home from Mimban, but luckily Brasso has terrible taste in men.

The code sending the comm belongs to Pellan, a hook up from months ago; a Pre-mor flunkie on a stopover between outposts, half out of uniform when he met Brasso and keen to lose the rest.

The face when he opens it, though, is a stretched-out, scruffed-up version of - “Cassian?”

“Yes! I fucking told you.” This is to someone off screen, presumably Pellan, and in a voice several tones lower than Brasso expected. In profile, Cassian's face is sharper and grubbier than it first seemed, and framed by an embarrassing set of adolescent mutton chops that dream of one day becoming a beard. It'd been Brasso's situation, the last time they saw each other. Maarva has a holo of them from that time, and looking at himself in it makes Brasso feel old.

“Do you know this person?” Pellan asks, shouldering his way on screen.

He doesn't know Pellan that well. He can't tell where they are from the background of the holo: it's just their faces and a patch of suspiciously sterile patch of wall.

“He does! Brasso, you know me and you know how sick my mother is -”

“Stop talking.” Pellan's tone isn't mean enough to raise Brasso's hackles. It's the tone he remembers everyone taking around - fucking hell, Cassian - back when he was mouthy and undersized and keen to bite the underbelly of every bigger kid on the block. “Just. Sit down again. Brasso -” 

There's some shuffling and a floating shot of Pellan's jaw as he takes himself and his comm out of Cassian’s considerable range of interference. It has the same mutinous set Brasso remembers from the bar.

“We have a slight situation here, and I do not want it to end up as a full situation, because in full situations I fill out sixteen different scandocs and people with ‘sector’ in their job title learn my name. Your friend is trying to get through the corporate border on a military pass, which is legal but -” a tired grimace “- against company policy, so I'm supposed to tell him it's faulty and he has seven days to fix it, after which I can bust him for loitering if he doesn't find a new chip or falsifying access information if he does, and he'll go to Imperial custody and toward my arrest number, or he can lodge an appeal under the long term residency exemption, which will automatically be approved but he'll be on an undisclosed Imperial watchlist for five years and someone will have to file a report on his movements every forty five days, and that someone will not be me, but that someone will unlock a cross team performance incentive if they achieve a ten per cent uplift on watchlist detentions cycle on cycle, so good luck with that. And then of course you're a named associate of a detained watch listed individual, so you go on the list, and someone reports on you every forty five days, and you also count toward our detention uplift target for the quarter, so.” 

There's a pause for Brasso to react. When he doesn't, Pellan feels compelled to add, “That's bad.”

“Right.” It was almost definitely the wrong call to answer this comm before getting dressed. 

“Right! So I suggested maybe he'd had his scandocs stolen and I could issue him a temporary pass if he just had a few key details, but they were issued when he was in prison - I should not have heard that he was in prison, Brasso, that's 101 - and he's never seen them, so he doesn't know the most basic things -”

“His mother will have -”

“His mother is apparently deathly ill and cannot possibly get on a shuttle to bring him anything, which would be terrible if it were true. My sympathies to that woman, in potentia. However, because he is technically an unaccompanied minor for the next, uh, seventeen hours, I can notarise an individual known to the family to collect him and produce a copy of his stolen documents on her behalf. So this is me officially notarising you, and also letting you know that if you take seventeen hours to get here I'm going to strangle him.”

Brasso has several questions about an unaccompanied minor being on a military pass and that not being a flag unto itself, but at least he knows how old Cassian is now. “Where are you?”

“Gate B, so like, two moons from you? Hey, should have called more, sorry neighbour. But seriously, whatever operation you're running needs to tighten up because ‘prison’, pri-son, is an extremely automated red flag and if I had bothered to do any basic system maintenance in the last six months there would be a half dozen alerts on their way to Pre-Mor by now.”

Operation, Brasso mouths, dully. He's starting to think he and Pellan remember that night very differently.

[the-new-ribbon]

I’ve Been Loving You For Quite Some Time (and it’s about time we do something about it)

synopsis: Gwyn Berdara and Azriel Night have been friends since their senior year of college. Years later they find themselves both working at Moonlight University. They've strictly stuck to being friends, but when they travel to Nesta and Cassian’s elopement, the last thing they ever expected was to wind up drunk and standing at the altar of a drive-thru wedding chapel.

word count: 1825

read here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54767785/chapters/138810226

or below the cut!

Gwyn

The hot and dry air welcomes Gwyn and Azriel as they step out of the airport. There is also a tension between her and Az that was stronger than before. She wonders if his heart beat is as fast as hers. Heart palpitations from a crush wouldn’t be the worst way to do, but it would be just a tad embarrassing. Unrequited love because she couldn’t get it together and tell Azriel how she feels.

Nesta and Cassian are standing in front of their Jeep they rented for the weekend.

Gwyn’s bag is left behind on the sidewalk when she spots Nesta and runs at full speed towards her. “Gwyn, you made it!”

“Were you worried I wasn’t? You’re my best friend, I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. Plus my students love me since I canceled class today and Monday.” one of the many reasons why she is one of the most popular professors at Moonlight. Other reasons included that she didn’t give ridiculous homework assignments, rather they just read romance books and discussed them in each class. Az on the other hand is the grumpy professor who’s always giving out homework and never cancels class.

“No, I knew you would be here. I was worried you’d be bored with Mr. Grumpy Professor.” Nesta breaks eye contact and shoots a look at Az, who’s now holding Gwyn’s discarded bag.

He’s making it very difficult to just be friends. If he keeps doing stuff like this she’ll get down on one knee and marry him now. And being in Adriata, there’s a heightened sense of romance, making it only more difficult to be just friends with Azriel Night.

First it was the first class ticket, then it was their banter about her bag, him saying her name as he begged for her attention just so he could read one of her books, plus all the other things he’s done since their senior year of college.

“Good to see you, Gwynnie.” Cassian wraps his arm around Gwyn in a hug. His shoulder length hair is tied into a bun, a few small pieces have even fallen or were pulled out for some shaping. 

“Hi Cassian.” 

“We should get going. We have to get ready for tonight.” Nesta cuts it. “We’re celebrating my last night before becoming a wife!” 

Cassian clears his throat and tightens his hold on Nesta in a loving way, “Sweetheart, you’ve been my wife since the day I put that ring on your finger.”

“I know and I love you for it. But technically speaking, it’s my last night as a fiancee.” Nesta looks up and smiles at her fiance.

The four of them climb into the car, Nesta and Cassian grab hands as soon as they’re situated but there’s a weird tension between Gwyn and Azriel. The middle seat of the back seat is empty, Gwyn’s right hand rests in it and Azriel’s left hand is only a few inches apart. 

Without thinking, as the car gets closer to the hotel, Gwyn feels a warm hand cover her freezing ones. She looks away from the window and sees Azriel looking at her. His longing gaze makes her stomach fill with butterflies. A simple, beautiful smile spreads on her face and Gwyn feels like she could faint. Az never smiles but Gwyn learns that she might be more special than others around him.

While they were walking out of the airport, Azriel and Gwyn made a promise that when they got to the hotel, they’d immediately take Nesta and Cassian to get ready. Nesta was spending the weekend in the same room with Gwyn, and Azriel and Cassian would be in the same room. 

That’s exactly what they do. Gwyn’s hand intertwines with Nesta’s and begins to pull her to the elevator.

“Wait!” Nesta shouts, stopping in her tracks. She runs back to Azriel and Cassian, jumping into Cassian’s arms and kissing him. “I love you, I’ll see you in an hour. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m going to do one stupid thing, I’m hanging out with Az afterall, but it won’t affect our wedding or you.”

She gives Cassian a look that makes Cassian smile. 

“Okay, okay. I won’t do anything stupid. I love you, sweetheart.” 

The white marble floors have a light blue undertone that matches the waves crashing outside the window. The large columns have seahorses carved into them. Gwyn and Nesta’s room is full of natural light and has a matching aesthetic as the lobby and the rest of the hotel.

The two of them each unpack; setting their toiletries on the pearl colored counter. Gwyn’s copper colored hair and Nesta’s golden brown hair reflect the sun as Gwyn rests her head on Nesta’s shoulder in the mirror. 

“I’m really happy for you Nesta.” Gwyn says.

“Thank you. I’m happy you’re here with me, Gwyn. I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t set me up on that date.” Gwyn and Azriel met before Nesta met Cassian, but with Gwyn being best friends with Nesta and Azriel being best friends with Cassian, the two worked tirelessly to get them both at the same place at the same time. Nesta protested since Thomas broke her heart just weeks before, but with Cassian’s charming smile and personality, it worked. Even if it hasn’t always been easy.

“I think Cassian would have gotten your attention sooner or later, he’s very in love with you and has been for a very long time.” 

A cherry red blush covers Nesta’s cheeks.

*~~~*

Gwyn applies eyeliner to her freckled eyelids, and a light pink gloss to her lips. Nesta applies a dark red lipstick to her lips and steps away from the bathroom counter to the full length mirror on the adjacent wall.

“So are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?”  Nesta asks, adjusting her black, skin tight dress in the mirror. She spins to look over her shoulder at the back of her dress.

Gwyn finishes tying a white ribbon in her hair and looks at Nesta, “What are you talking about?”

“Gwyneth Berdara, Azriel has eyes for you and has a giant crush on you.” Nesta says loudly. Gwyn’s stomach drops and she feels her cheeks warm. 

Her arms go behind her back as she thinks back to what happened on the drive here and the flirtiness on the plane. The teasing in the gate at the airport about her bag. 

“I think he was flirting with me on the plane, he even asked to read one of my books.” Gwyn says with a huge smile on her face. “But I’m not sure, maybe he was just being friendly.”

“Two things. One, “just friends,” don’t look at or act like you two. You two are basically dating. Two, which book did you give him?”

“My favorite book, A Dance of Shadows, of course!” with plenty of post-it tabs and notes in the margins, even highlights of her favorite quotes and scenes. 

“Good choice, Berdara. He’ll definitely like it.” especially because it’s your favorite, Gwyn, is unsaid but Gwyn can see it on Nesta’s face.

“There’s one more thing.” Nesta’s head shoots up and she steps closer to Gwyn. “Heheldmyhandinthecaronthewayhere.”

Nesta’s jaw drops and Gwyn’s hands move from behind her back to her face, covering her smile but it’s so big that smile lines form around her eyes. 

Azriel 

To say that holding Gwyn’s hand changed his entire life would be an understatement. It changed his entire universe. New stars formed in the sky and the world is suddenly brighter than it was just hours ago. He used to think that he never had a chance with her but these past few hours proved that he might have a chance. Her freckled hand against his scarred hand that once made him shudder in unworthiness and flood with insecurities. But with Gwyn, those feelings and insecurities aren’t there anymore. He just felt something that feels a little like something like fondness. With Gwyn, a new sense of intimacy he’s never felt before comes to light.

“Az!” Cassian slams his hand on Azriel’s back. “This is my wedding weekend but why can I feel that you’re keeping something a secret? You’ve been different since we picked you and Gwyn from the airport.”

“I flirted with Gwyn on the plane and then I held her hand in the car on the way here.” He confesses, feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulder but still feeling a smaller weight on his heart. Why can’t he just tell Gwyn how he feels? It’s been years, small flirty comments here and there but it’s finally caught up to him. It’s taken over his thoughts.

“Well it’s about time. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. You’ve been in love with her for years, I’m surprised it took you this long to finally say it out loud.”

Cassian has this ridiculous smile on his face and ruffles Azriel’s hair. Azriel elbows him in the stomach. “You’re an ass,’’ he says even with a smile on his face.

“Correction, I’m your best friend.” Cassian says, holding his pointer finger up.

*~~~*

Azriel changes into a black button up shirt and black slacks, and a pair of dressier, but not too fancy, black shoes. His silver chain around his neck peeks out from behind the couple of undone buttons. He runs his fingers through his inky black hair and fixes all his ringers on his fingers before grabbing his glasses from the table, sliding them back on his nose.

Tell her how you feel, Az. You can’t keep going down this path of avoiding your feelings and continuing to flirt with Gwyn if you aren’t going to do anything about it. She doesn’t deserve it.

Cassian strolls out of the second room, a red button up forms around his defined biceps, his hair tied back. 

“Ready to go? We should get down there before Nes and Gwyn.” Cass says, fixing the black leather bracelet Nesta gave him last Christms.

There aren’t many people in the lobby – a few hotel workers walking around making sure everything looks good while a few guests talk at the bar across the way. Az and Cass find two empty chairs with a view of the elevators to wait.

When the elevator door chimes a few moments later, the two males stand up, tucking their hands into the front pockets of their pants. Gwyn and Nesta walk out of the elevator, Gwyn’s arm looped through Nesta’s, and giant smiles on their faces.

Gwyn's attention leaves Nesta and focuses on Azriel. She smiles at him from across the lobby, waving at him, and contrary to everyone else, he smiles and waves back. It isn’t a small, toothless smile either, it is a full on smile that makes his dimples pop and his cheeks hurt.

His smiles are reserved for Gwyn only.

[bebouhito]

{ JJK OC lore, shiunao, past mpreg, nobamaki, tw: misogyny, tw: alcohol mention, 1.7k words }

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

A few months later…

Naomi was shaking as she held the phone to her ear.

“Dad?”

Shiu’s heart soared just like it did the first time he heard this word from her.

“Yes, my dove?”

Naomi took in a shaky breath, but this pet name made her feel stronger.

“They found his grave.”

Shiu steadied himself by leaning against the table in the dining room where they’d had lunch together a couple of days earlier.

Twenty years of believing his love, reduced to ashes, had been scattered in an unmarked location.

Naomi was quiet for a moment.

“Dad?”

“...Y-yes?”

“Do you want to go see him today?”

Shiu exhaled slowly. He silently thanked Naomi for choosing the day for him. If it was up to him and him only, he would keep running away.

“I think I’m ready.”

“Good. What time can we pick you up?”

•

There were four of them packed uncomfortably in Nobara’s tiny car. Maki was looking out the window, lost in thought, but with one hand between the front seats to hold onto Naomi’s who was sitting in the back with her father.

“It’s gonna be okay.” Naomi told him with a confident smile, and Shiu couldn’t help but feel the corners of his mouth curve up.

“I should be the one comforting you, and look at me…”

Naomi shushed him gently.

“I don’t think so. He was everything to you, and technically speaking, he is nothing to me. I have no memory of him, I still got to grow up with two loving parents… You matter to me because you’re still alive, but how could I mourn him when he’s been dead all my life?”

Shiu wasn’t sure what to say.

“My point is, I haven’t lost him as I never had him in the first place. You’re the grieving one here. If I wanna comfort you, I’ll comfort you.”

A warm smile spread on Shiu’s face, but his eyes were damp.

“You’re such a good kid, Naomi. I wish I’d known you sooner.”

“Now, don’t think about it or you’re gonna cry again!” Naomi cried out jokingly. “Mama, we’re gonna need tissues!”

Maki snapped out of her thoughts and as she began looking for the tissues in the glove box, she couldn't help but think:

*He’s not worth crying over.*

•

The grave’s location had been provided by none other than Satoru Gojo, as he had easy access to the confidential documents that used to belong to the late higher-ups. Kento Nanami did help motivate him to find the right archives from twenty years earlier, as this was a family matter to him. His eldest son, Kenshiro, had been in a relationship with Naomi since high school.

When Shiu learned who was the person he could thank for finding the grave that had remained unvisited for over two decades, he shuddered at the cruel irony. Satoru Gojo. It had been more than thirty years, but this was a name Shiu knew he’d never forget.

His head was buzzing as he walked through the cemetery, passing a large number of headstones more or less hidden behind flowers, fresh or dry.

Naomi eventually slowed down to match his pace and slipped her hand into his.

“I’m beginning to feel it, you know.” She said.

Shiu gave her hand a light squeeze.

“I miss the person you told me about.” Naomi added. “The one who probably wanted to live to keep loving me. There’s this picture you took of him when he was pregnant, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it. I miss him through your memories. I miss what could have been, but not because I’m sad it didn’t happen to me. I’m sad it didn’t happen to him.”

“Your mother said there was a trail of blood behind him when he was… found. I think… In his last moments, he tried to crawl to your room to protect you from whoever attacked him. That’s the biggest proof I have of his love for you.”

Shiu knew he would never get the full story, but it hurt less now that he had gotten Naomi back. The need to drown out those thoughts in alcohol had lessened, but he knew the urge to drink would follow him for the rest of his life.

How long did he have left with Naomi? How long before his heart, his lungs or his liver gave out?

They eventually came across a headstone covered in ivy and weeds. The gold lettering was faded, but still decipherable. There wasn’t a single trace of any flower having ever been placed on that grave.

Shiu felt his heart clench.

*You’ve been alone for so long.*

But he didn’t have the time to reflect on that thought, as the brown and yellow leaves that had piled up on the grave rustled.

Naomi’s heart skipped a bit. She’d expected a frog, a hedgehog or even a small cat, but instead a worm-shaped curse slithered out from under the dead leaves.

It didn’t really have a face, but what resembled two black, beady eyes stared at Shiu as the creature crawled his way.

“You’re back…” it moaned, its voice barely human anymore and vibrating with curse noises.

Nobody dared move. This curse was weakened, it hardly had any cursed energy left in it.

How long had it been sitting here?

Maki still raised her hand protectively, and the curse noticed her.

Something in it immediately shifted.

“You…” it growled, turning back to Shiu. “It was HER you ran off with? Wasn’t it?!”

It hissed at Maki, puffing up and growing bigger as its anger rose.

“I always knew you were a whore… Good for nothing, you weren’t even the better looking of the two…”

It turned to Shiu again.

“Did she suck you off that good?!”

“SHUT UP!!!” Nobara cried out, and the curse glared at her.

“You got two of them?” He asked Shiu. “Cheating once wasn’t enough for you?!”

“Stop…” Shiu breathed out shakily, feeling like his heart was about to explode.

“Dad…” Naomi said as she put a hand on his shoulder.

The curse did not miss that half-whispered word.

“Which one of them did you knock up? While I was…”

The curse’s uncanny voice broke. It had grown to a small child’s size, but it was still half laying down, its multitude of legs hardly supporting its weight. A slit in its neck opened up, revealing a more human face. It was constricted in painful rage, tears burning its eyes as it cried out:

“HOW OLD IS SHE?? THAT BASTARD CHILD, HOW SOON WAS SHE BORN AFTER I DIED?!”

“NAOYA, IT’S HER!!!”

Shiu’s voice echoed in the sudden silence of the cemetery, broken only by Naomi’s sobbing and Shiu’s heavy breathing.

“You’re lying. You think I haven’t suffered enough, that you have to twist the knife that’s been in my heart for twenty years—”

“No, Naoya.”

Shiu had put an arm around Naomi, holding onto her as she tried to control her own breathing.

This was too much. Twenty years of mystery had just come crashing down.

Still, she felt that twenty years was too little for her to handle it all.

She was just a kid.

“If she was still alive, I would’ve found her. I looked everywhere. Sorcerers kept exorcizing me, but I’d always return. You can’t do this to me…”

Shiu kneeled down to get on eye level with Naoya.

“Look at her. She’s your spitting image.”

He hesitantly tried to touch the curse, to feel him and make sure that he was real too.

Naoya unconsciously leaned into Shiu’s touch.

His breath shuddered when he recognized the beauty spot below the corner of Naomi’s mouth.

“...My baby…?”

Naomi laughed through the tears and sat on the ground in front of Naoya, gently gathering his small frame into her arms.

“Hi…” She choked out, and Naoya broke down. He buried his face into her neck, apologizing over and over again.

Naomi just held him, rocking him gently as if he was the child here.

“It’s okay… But you should also apologize to the women who raised me.”

Naoya pulled away to face Naomi, confusion written on his features that were looking more and more human.

“Raised you?”

When he met Shiu’s eyes to get an answer, the other man could barely talk over the sobs that racked his body.

“I wa- as told you both-... Died in chi- ild- birth…”

Naoya’s eyes widened.

“I was told you’d run off with a woman and abandoned us both…”

Naomi leaned against Shiu who was still kneeling in the dirt and he wrapped his arms around the two of them.

“I only found dad a couple of months ago. Mama Maki found me after you died, and she and mom adopted me.” Naomi said, gently nudging Naoya to look at them.

Though they couldn’t deny Naomi happiness, both Maki and Nobara looked like they weren’t sure whether to rejoice or be wary.

Naoya turned to face them, then bowed his head.

“...I’m sorry.”

He then looked at Maki again.

“For everything.”

Maki simply nodded. This family business was about to become a handful with Naoya in the mix.

“And thank you for taking care of my little girl.”

“No problem.” Nobara said with the tiniest hint of a sneer. She was tired already just imagining having to deal with the man she only knew through Maki’s memories.

But he didn’t seem as bad as what she’d described. Maybe there was hope for him.

“Shiu…” Naoya said hesitantly, and Shiu offered him the smile they’d both missed so much.

“Does that mean… you’re still single?”

Nobody, including Shiu, could hold back a chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Naoya asked, sounding offended. “Is it because I look like a worm?”

Shiu laughed again and bent down slowly to press a soft kiss to Naoya’s lips.

“I never stopped loving you.”

Naoya settled and curled up further into Naomi’s arms, finally feeling at peace for the first time in twenty years.

“I can’t wait to love you.” Naomi told him as she got up from the ground, getting ready to bring him home to the apartment he was supposed to share with Shiu.

She mused at the thought that although her parents weren’t divorced, she’d be living in some sort of joint custody.

In just a few months, she’d gained twice as many parents as she grew up with.

“I can’t wait to love you.” She repeated softly as Naoya was falling asleep in her arms. “I think I already do.”

[uglypastels]

Could I also request Grapejuice with Robin? I’d love to see how you’d capture her with it x

this is my first Robin fic so I hope it's alright <3 thank you for sending in the request!!

no explicit warnings. underage drinking.

Spotify Wrapped Blurb event > send in a request! (masterlist)

1982. Freshman year. 

First day of class. 

Everyone in your class was technically new, but you had an extra disadvantage on you, having just moved to Hawkins only a few weeks before school started– your new room was barely rid of the giant cardboard boxes. So, while everyone might be nervous about stepping inside the halls of Hawkins High for the first time, you knew that they all were already ahead of you by knowing their classmates. All these small-town kids knew each other. You were an outsider, and it was evident from the moment you noticed how everyone was staring at you. An unfamiliar face will do that. 

For most of the first half of the day, you didn’t speak to anyone. Keep your head low and stay out of trouble; that seemed the most straightforward strategy to survive this place. But then, at lunch, that whole strategy got interrupted when someone sat down next to you. 

Her hair was short and messy. Strands poking out at unnatural angles, wearing dungarees and an oversized sweater underneath, which felt too warm for the post-summer heat, even just looking at it. 

‘Uhmm, hi.’ The girl said with half a smile. 

‘Hi,’ you replied, mouth half full with a sandwich, but you hadn’t wanted to be rude by not responding.

‘I’m Robin,’ Robin introduced herself. You mumbled back your name. 

‘Yeah, I know,’ she said, quickly adding an explanation: ‘we have English together, so I heard the introduction Miss Fredrickson gave you.’ All you could do was nod. 

But the conversation continued and never really ended after that. Quickly and rather effortlessly, Robin became your best friend. And four years later, you were still glued to the hip. 

Spring Break. 

The first day of the free week and, magically, the first day of good weather. Yesterday it finally came. A sunny afternoon, but the warmth followed up a little later. Suddenly it became unbearable to stay in the house, so you and Robin decided to meet up. Just hang out around town, and tell each other what to buy with the money you didn’t have. 

‘Tell me, when did stuff get so expensive?’ You sighed, looking at a Blondie tape in the record store. Robin just shrugged as she skimmed through the store’s merchandise. There was a moment of silence between you as you both looked through the racks of cassettes and vinyl– not entirely silent, as the store had music playing. Still, neither of you spoke, just enjoying each other’s presence, showing finds the other might enjoy, knowing fully well you couldn’t afford any of it. It was time to get a job. 

‘Are you going to Steve’s party tonight?’ Robin asked eventually as you were leaving the store. 

‘Uhm, I guess. Don’t really have anything else going on.’ You weren’t the biggest fan of Steve “the Hair” Harrington, but ever since the previous summer, he and Robin had become genuinely friends, so you had very little to object about him. But something about the guy still irked you. 

And the chances of meeting the host of a house party are quite small—especially a party like Harrington’s. But somehow, the chances of meeting the last person you want to see at a party are much bigger. So therefore, you were immediately greeted with the sight of Steve and Robin talking when you walked into the house that evening. They were standing in a corner, chatting. He was holding a cup, most likely containing beer or a concoction with a remarkable percentage of alcohol. Robin also held a cup, but you didn’t even have to ask what she was drinking. It was always the same thing for the two of you. The cheapest red wine possible. The cheapness was an added and acquired taste. 

Robin spotted you almost immediately, ending the conversation she was in the middle of.

‘Here, have mine, I’ll go grab the bottle,’ she handed you her solo cup and almost immediately slipped away to the kitchen, leaving you in her spot next to Steve. 

‘Nice party,’ you said, looking out at the living room filled with drunk teenagers. 

‘Thanks.’ He took a sip of his drink; your eyes never met, and the conversation ended. It was your new record of most exchanged words between you. 

Objectively, there was nothing for you to hate about Steve. You knew there wasn’t. But every time you saw him hanging out with Robin, something boiled deep inside you. 

Luckily, Robin didn’t leave you alone for too long, coming back with her own cup and the remains of the wine in its bottle. Steve immediately saw that as a sign to go, departing with the words, “see you around, guys”, and disappearing in the crowd. 

You took a sip of the wine. ‘This is shit.’ 

‘I know,’ Robin said. You both took large gulps to finish your cups. When done, you both spoke up, simultaneously interrupting each other and laughing it off. ‘You go first,’ Robin let you. 

‘What were you and Steve talking about? When I walked in?’ you remembered how quickly Robin shut the conversation up, and immediately left the room. And then Steve was so quick to leave too. 

‘Uhm, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about actually, but— not here, preferably.’  She took your hand and guided you through the masses. It wasn’t a smooth passage, as she kept bumping into people, and you lost grip on each other in several instances, but finally managed to get up the stairs and into a bedroom. The music was still audible, but much softer. At a comfortable volume the both of you could keep. It just got so overwhelming sometimes. 

You sat down on the bed, sipping from the solo cup, watching Robin walk up and down the room.

‘So, we’ve known each other for a pretty long time?’

‘I’d say so, yeah,’ you chuckled. This probably wasn’t the longest friendship for either of you, but for sure the most significant one. It felt like it had lasted centuries. 

‘Right, yes. So I really don’t want to say or do anything that might ruin that because that would really suck, and I’ve been trying to find a way to say it in the least destrucitble way, but every time I just seem to spiral down this hole of sentences and my mouth vomits out words pretty much like I’m doing right now.

‘And you asked me what I was talking about with Steve, and he was actually trying to help me figure out what to say but I already screwed that up and I’m still going for some reason–’

‘Rob!’ She froze at the sound of your voice. ‘How much did you have to drink?’

‘A couple glasses, but I’m not drunk. Not in that sense at least. Like, I know what I’m doing— or I’m trying to do what I know I want to do, I just don’t know how to do it– or say it. It’s not that it’s difficult either, per say, but I’m freaking myself out about it, you know–’ she couldn’t contain her nervous giggling in between her words. 

‘Ok, so just tell me. I promise I won’t be mad.’ You couldn’t think of anything that Robin could do to upset you as much as she thought it could. 

Robin opened her mouth and the beginning of a word came out, but she pushed it right back in. She took another sip of her wine. You mirrored her and when you were both done, you could hear her take a deep breath. 

‘I like you– like, really really like you.’ 

You blinked slowly, trying to comprehend the statement as Robin kept on rambling: 

‘You don’t even have to say anything back, I really don’t expect it. And if you don’t want to be friends anymore, I totally get that, but I couldn’t keep it in anymore because everytime we’re together my heart just explodes and my head spins so here’s my trying to sort all of that out by being honest–what?’ She only stopped talking when you got off the bed. 

‘Don’t be mad,’ you said, softly, before cupping her face and gently kissing her. It was brief, sweet, and both of you melted into it. Then, when you pulled away, ‘And yeah, you’re right, I don’t want to be friends anymore.’

‘What?’ She blinked, dazed and confused, but you quickly elaborated before breaking Robin’s heart into a million pieces. 

‘“Just friends” won’t cut it. I really like you too.’ And you kissed her again. 

the end

thank you for reading!! i would love to know what you thought so don't be shy to comment and reblog <3. you can also leave a review here.

no Robin taglist

[dbstaches]

THIS CHARMING MAN

Dave Ball in Zigzag magazine, March 1984 issue - full article text bellow

Following our interview with Marc Almond in ZZ 3 we complete the set with Dave Ball. Paul Barney asked the questions, Linda Rowell* took the photographs.

Okay, you made me do it. I’ve turned it off. I’m talking about the new Soft Cell 12″ ‘Down In The Subway’. I want to flip it over but instead I shall leave the beefy brilliance of their version of Johnny Thunder’s ‘Born To Lose’ (hear it, buy it, you owe it to yourselves!) and tell you about an afternoon I spent in the company of Dave Ball in the living room of his London flat. Ushering me inside Dave smiles and proffers tea. It’s a small room, Dave’s keyboards standing majestically in the intimacy. My heart passes on secret information to my bladder and I have to make the first of my visits to the bathroom [DAMMIT] just when I wanted to be cool and collected.

Dave plays me the new and final Soft Cell album ‘Last Night In Sodom’ and it’s a breathtaking affair. Lots of drums, Marc’s voice reaching and winding its way down my back. ‘Meet Murder My Angel’ featuring Dave’s wife Gini Hewes on the most gorgeous backing vocals. ‘L'esqualita’ is seductive, inspired by New York club for transvestites where they mime to Spanish songs dressed obviously to suit such activity and another standout track is ‘The Best Way To Kill’. A relentless beat. (The title comes from a Sun headline where they asked their readers which method of capital punishment they preferred!) A lot faster than most of the previous album. It was recorded and mixed in five weeks at Britannia Row.

I love it madly but how do you feel? DAVE: “Of all the three Soft Cell albums, it's the one we're most satisfied with because we've been totally involved with it and had total control from start to finish. Rather than working with outside producer ... the ideas come purer.”

Weren't you happy with Mike Thorne's production then? DAVE: “I think we were at the time but he was more into making a name as a star producer. That's fair enough but not if you're a band and depending on someone else to help you get the sound you want. He was more into commercial safety if you like.”

How did you get that sound on ‘Numbers’? (To convey this I am forced to make a noise like a sick penguin, embarrassing!) DAVE: “I used a bass guitar going through an envelope generator. It's like a filter off a synthesiser. It's jus an effect pedal. I'll show you one. (Showing me the device.) Quite simple really. It's just a different context to hearing those sort of things.”

To digest these technical facts calls for a cigarette. Dave suggests a can of beer and whilst he is in the kitchen I'm off to the toilet again. The interview resumes.

Are you a shy person? DAVE: “I'm not shy like now but I am when in front of a lot of people. Marc's got something that really holds people's attention. He's more of a showman. I'm not interested in being a performer. I've never concentrated on it. I never needed to. I always relied on Marc.”

Were you unhappy with ‘In Strict Tempo’? DAVE: “I probably said something like I wasn't totally satisfied with it. It's not really meant to be thought as an album in that sense of being a collection of songs ... It wasn't released with intention of being a chart album. The ideas for new Soft Cell album were initially ideas I got from doing ‘In Strict Tempo’. It was testing ground. People try to read too much ... Like the track ‘Rednecks’. People actually thought I was being serious. The funnest thing is that people from America see the joke but English people don't seem to see it's a total pisstake of that area of America and the country music and the bigotry.”

A lot of tongue in cheek, isn't it? DAVE: “Of course ... Yeah, like on that tribal number, the voices on that are speak and spell.”

I thought it was you (why did I have to say that?) DAVE: “I think maybe I disguised the fact that it was a synthesiser and electronic too well. I just thought the idea of using one of them for a tribal chant was quite amusing!”

Did you get emotional doing the last Soft Cell gig at the Palais? DAVE: “No, I was more emotional doing the video for ‘Soul Inside’. Y'know tearing up the posters. That was the first point when it sunk in, ‘this is coming to an end’, but I don't feel upset about it because we're happy with what we're leaving behind.”

What is this film you've done the soundtrack for? DAVE: “It's called Decoder, a German film. I think they've completed it now. It's going to be shown at the German film festival and I think they'll dub it over in English so it will probably be shown at a few cinemas over here. Maybe just the ICA or bigger cinemas. It's also going to be released on video.” “The film is about muzac, the sort that's used in supermarkets and hamburger joints. Some of the music is by Neubauten, in fact Mufti is the star of the film and William Bouroughs and Christiane F are in it as well. Gen (Genesis P) makes a cameo appearance as an underground preacher. It's quite interesting. Mufti discovers a way of making anti-muzac so instead of pacifying people like muzac does, ot antogonises them and causes riots. I suppose it's very heavy and bleak, very German.”

Future plans? DAVE: “I'm writing a couple of things for Psychic TV to return the compliment for Gen appearing on my album and I'm supposed to be writing some material for Cristina (of Ze records). Do you know her?”

Sort of. DAVE: “I had a meeting with her and Michael Zikha in America late last year. Anybody who asks me if I'm interested in writing or contributing, if it sounds interesting, I do it. “I still want to have a main thing you could call it a group, but ot might end up as a just a couple of people and myself, but again it'll be different from Soft Cell.”

Are you still going to work with Alan Vega? DAVE: “I don't know about that anymore. We talked about it a year and a half ago and nothing happened. His attitude that came over in Zigzag ... I didn't like the way he made me feel guilty as if I owed him a favour. The only similarities between Soft Cell and Suicide was the fact that there were two people, one of them singing and the other playing a keyboard and they used a drum machine. But because we said in an early interview we really liked Suicide, people think they were a direct influence and we were trying to copy them but there's nothing similar at all. I wouldn't want to work with him because he feels I owe him something.”

Is there much unreleased stuff that might see the light in the wake of Soft Cell? DAVE: “There are loads of songs we did when we first started, but we'd never release those, they were just backroom demos. “I think everything we've recorded after this album comes out and the single will have been released. That's one reason why the album is a bit longer than normal. It's because we wanted to make sure everything came out. I hate the idea of leaving stuff unreleased because you never know a year later you might be doing something else and somebody decides to release something you didn't want out then ...”

... and you don't want out now. DAVE: “It's like what they're doing with John Lennon. He's an amazing bloke, still doing albums and he's dead. Pretty good that! “I find it sick. It would be alright if it was just released to make it available to the fans but they're not ... it's tasteless.”

We are both chainsmoking. I catch a glimpse of Sooty flickering away in silence on a small black and white telly in the corner. Dave plays me a really jazzy instrumental continuation of Soul Inside. It's wonderfully chaotic but since you're unlikely to ever hear it on with the interview.

Will you do anymore singing? DAVE: “You call that singing?”

Yeah. DAVE: “Possibly doing backing vocals.”

Don't you have any confidence in yourself as a singer? DAVE: “No, it's bad enough if I'm in the studio. I get embarrassed and nervous if it's just me and the microphone with an audience it would just be a joke.”

These questions must be really boring, maybe I should ask your favourite color. DAVE: (laughs) “It's blue.”

Have you got a strange sense of humour? DAVE: “I like black comedy ... Friday the 13th and stuff. I sit back and laugh at them, always the same plot. They know there's an axe murderer wandering around and the first thing they do is split up and go searching around the woods.”

Have you seen ‘The Thing’? DAVE: “I didn't find that funny. That made me feel quite sick.”

What time do you get up? DAVE: “Sometimes I get really lazy and don't get up 'till two in the afternoon and then I have phases of getting up early. I suppose on average between ten and twelve.”

Do you believe in witches? DAVE: “Yes, I believe in witchcraft, I'm quite interested in that. I've read books. I'm not a practising magician or anything ... Music is a form of magic.”

Are there any causes you feel sympathetic towards like CND? DAVE: “I'm sympathetic to the idea of nuclear disarmament and everything but I wouldn't go out and campaign. If everyone in the country said we don't want nuclear weapons it wouldn't make a scrap of difference because the government doesn't represent the people and big business are behind them. Money is more important to them than people.”

Do you have any phobias? DAVE: “Sometimes walking down Oxford Street if there are lots of people I get paranoid ... I don't like flying ...”

Do you mind if I use the bathroom again? DAVE: “No.”

— * Linda Rowell is actually Mick Mercer, main editor of the magazine at the time as well

[writingmaidenwarrior]

Flash Fic Friday: What Comes Next

Yeah, I am just in time @flashfictionfridayofficial This week's prompt was a good excuse to get out this new idea abou werewolves. Have fun

Tagging @fictionalbullshitter since you also have a werewolf WIP just now.

The last five minutes, Mika stared the guy in front of her down, but he didn’t budge even a hair’s breadth. “So…, you believe all this shit?”, she inquired carefully. This guy, Connor if this was his real name, was half a head taller and looked like he played football back in college, which means she would rather not enrage him in any way. Connor softly nodded in a way to make himself look less dangerous and slightly submissive. It was the only word that came to Mika’s mind how to describe his demeanor. “I don’t only believe this, I know it is true. Tell me, don’t you feel something deep inside your mind that says I speak the truth?”

She heaved a deep breath with her arms slowly crossing in front of her. The cafè was still full and therefore so busy and loud, no one would overhear anything they talked about. To her dismay something inside her really sprung to live as Connor talked about werewolves being real, about the pack and that her dad she never met was one which meant she was one as well. It was almost like something tried to claw its way out. “Let’s say I believe you. What would happen then?” A relieved smile appeared in Connors face and his whole posture relaxed slightly. “We would get to the pack, introduce you. Like I said, our genes are bossy, but those like you who have a human parent shift later and everything about your behavior tells me you haven’t shifted yet. How old are you? 22?” “I am 23, and why does it matter?” Thoughtfully, Connor nodded and made himself smaller as he leaned over. “There is still time for your first shift. I have seen people not shift before their 27th birthday in cases like yours, but their wolves getting stronger by the year. We can protect you and teach you.” The eyes narrowed, Mika moved in until her eyes are at the same level as Connor’s. “And why should I trust you?” A big amused teeth-y smile was the reply. “You already do. If you wouldn't, we wouldn’t sit here and discuss this. Your instinct tells you I am no threat.” “Smart pants.” “Neil says the same”, he burst out laughing, “You two will get along well.” “Who is Neil?” “Your cousin. Actually, cousin once removed or something. You share the same great-grandparents and last remaining relative of yours sadly. Technically, the two of you are the only ones who can claim the position as alpha by blood.” Mika sat straight in an instant and glared at Connor in disbelieve. “Whoa, wait. You didn’t tell that.” “I didn’t want to spill the beans right away.” “Why doesn’t he take the place?” “Stupid old guys who claim he is too far removed from the alpha bloodline to be the alpha and can only claim the position by fight.” The heavy roll of Connor’s eyes made Mika fear she would need to call for an exorcism. “That’s where you need me. That’s why you searched for me.” “Yes and no. We tried to find you for a while, but your mother made sure we can’t find you.” The way he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment with his big hands was almost comical. “She did what?” “I have no idea what she did, but we couldn’t find you until something like two years ago. I guess it was when you turned 21 which means she found some witch to keep your track hidden from us. The Moon knows why.” Gears started to move in Mika’s head. All those times she needed to move as a kid and got no real explanation why suddenly made sense, but still, she didn’t know why her mother didn’t want her to get into contact with the pack when she was a wolf. Unfortunately, she couldn’t ask her mother anymore, and as it seemed her father was gone as well, but maybe someone in the pack knew what happened. “Mika?” Connor looked scared for unknown reasons. “Yeah, still here.” “I think you are closer to shift than you know…” “Huh?” “Your eyes flashed. What made you emotional?” Taken by surprise, she blinked a few times. “I will tell you on our way. It is a long story that just got a sequel.” “I don’t understand.” “You will. So how long do we have to travel?” “Four days by car.” “Good. I need two days to get stuff arranged while I am away.” Connors face lit up like he got an awesome gift. “Let me know if you need any help.” “We will see.”

[tigergirltail]

Past Self

It's been on my mind a lot as part of my Trans Journey, what if I had an opportunity to tell my younger self everything? What if I could gift her that insight and understanding twenty years earlier?

---

The door opens, and a crowd of children of various ages starts to walk in. Looking around at the rest of the gathered adults, I try to gauge their reactions. Some seem excited, others seem to just barely be holding themselves together.

I suppose when you're given a real opportunity to speak with your actual past self, it's hard to know what to say.

Most of the others look like they've chosen their clothes and done their hair to look as familiar as possible to their younger selves. Not me, though. I decided early on that if I was going to do this, I was going to go all out. No more hiding who I am. I had on my favourite purple and black dress, a simple necklace I'd picked out from a thrift store months ago, some elegant shoes with inch-tall heels, black lace fingerless gloves, purple nailpolish, I'd even made sure to do my makeup and refresh my hair dye for the occasion. Full goth witch look. …I should have worn a witch hat.

Gods, I'm going to be fucking unrecognizable to myself.

The first wave of kids have already found their future selves and are heading off to side rooms and sitting areas with them. I take one last steadying breath and look. If I know me, I'll be trying to blend in somewhere near the back of the pack. Unobstructive, anonymous, boring, and safe.

There I am. Bland, plain-coloured clothes, dorky haircut, and the eyes. I'll never forget how empty and dead my eyes used to look. He's standing around, awkwardly looking at people, trying not to have an anxiety attack, probably about ten seconds until he does.

I wait a moment for the crowd around him to disperse, and then I start to approach. Remember, confident, but caring. Don't scare myself off.

"Hey, kiddo. You look a bit lost, are you okay?"

He looks up at me, and pauses. A little surge of awe lights up his eyes. Even at that age I loved the goth look, I just couldn't find it in me to admit it.

"Yeah, uh…" He's struggling to speak. Maybe I overdid it.

"Looking for your future self, right?", I offer.

"Yeah, don't I… Am I…"

I have to brace myself to keep from crying. Of course he thinks his future self is dead. I thought way too much about suicide back then. Gods, didn't anyone think something was WRONG with that??

"I'm sure you're around here somewhere.", I reassure me. "What's your name?"

He hesitates before he answers. I have to suppress the urge to cringe when I hear my deadname cross my own lips.

"That's a good name." It's true, it was a good name. It just wasn't MY name. "It's been a while since I heard it."

That response throws him off. Here we go, now or never. Brace for impact…

"My name's Alexis, and I'm your future self."

Younger me's brain just… stops. He starts looking around, sure that I'm playing a trick on him, but all the other 'futures' have already met up with their pasts. It's just us two left.

"…But you're…"

I smile. Technically, I'm breaking every single letter of the Trans Prime Directive, but none of the 'pasts' will remember this as anything more than a particularly vivid dream.

"Yes, I am. And so are you."

She's standing stock still, struggling to process this. I see her eyes widen, and a little bit of light creep into them. That spark of life trans people get when we awaken. It hit like a truck for me, it must be even harder for her.

"No, I can't… But… But that's impossible!"

I reach out and gently take her hand. "It's… a lot, I know. How about we sit down somewhere and I'll tell you everything?"

She nods. She's gone nonverbal, I can tell. I lead her over to one of the open sitting areas, sit down with her, and try to project an aura of calm. She's staring at me intently, but trying not to look like it. It looks like I'll be taking the lead here.

"So, to answer the obvious question, I'm you in another 25 years, and yes, we're a girl." She's still struggling to process what she's hearing, so I continue. "The way we always felt more comfortable with other girls than with boys… The way we'd always stare just a little too long at a nice dress… The way we'd play with our hair in the mirror and imagine getting it cut to look like Cardcaptor Sakura… All of that meant something, something much bigger."

She's blushing now, burying her face in her hands, trying desperately to stop existing. Gods, I just want to hug her, but there's no way she'll accept being touched right now.

"You aren't going to learn this word for a while yet, but we're transgender. It's something beautiful, and it's a normal part of the grand spectrum of human experiences. There are lots of us out there, even in your time, and you're going to love being one of them."

When I said the word 'beautiful', I saw her peek out from under her hands. She's crying. That's probably a good thing.

"What… What happened to your hair??", she manages to ask between sobs.

I twirl some of the purple strands around with my fingers. "It's my favourite colour!", I answer happily. "I can't remember if it's yours yet…"

She's stopped crying, stopped hiding in her hands, stopped pretending she's not staring. "No, I mean… It's long."

Oh. Right. I smile, and silently laugh a little. "Well… Getting our hair cut sucks, right? So in about five years, you just… stop. You let it grow." I run my hand through it. "It's the first time we ever really feel happy about how we look." I see another little spark in her eyes. She's letting herself imagine. Maybe this will change something after all.

"S-so why are we… Why am I… What was that word? Trans…"

"Transgender?"

She nods.

"Nobody really knows the whys and hows, but basically, you're a girl brain in a boy body."

"But you look so much like a girl!"

"There's medical treatments for it. They can't do everything, but they can do a lot. Most of the rest is just clothing, hair, voice… You know, presentation." She doesn't know, but it's the best explanation I have in me.

"…Needles?" She looks a little nauseous asking.

"…Yeah, sometimes. They need to check my blood to make sure the girl juice is flowing right."

She suddenly gets really quiet. Poor girl still has a debilitating fear of needles. I should change the topic.

"We also have a job! And a romantic partner!"

"…Really?" She sounds more skeptical than curious.

"Yeah! Let me tell you about them…"

We spend the rest of the time we have talking about the life ahead of her. Learning to make costumes… Going to conventions… Getting into tabletop RPGs, meeting new friends, falling in love… Moving out east to find herself… Going to a college she genuinely loves… And the morning she's lying in bed and has that moment of grand revelation - the moment she awakens. The more I tell her, the more there's something in her eyes and voice that wasn't there when she walked in. Hope. Even if this all seems like just a dream to her, that hope might just become real.

It feels too soon when the alarm goes off for the three-minute warning. A temporal connection like this isn't sustainable for much longer. We pick ourselves up and make our way to the exit to part ways. She stops short of the doorway.

"…Promise this is all for real?"

I step forward and pull my past self, the boy I used to pretend to be, into a tight hug.

"I promise, it's real. You're beautiful, and you're brilliant, and you're going to mean so much to so many people."

She buries her face in my shoulder and starts crying again.

"I love you, Alexis.", I tell her. "And I'm going to be there for you."

We pull apart right as the 60-second warning sounds. I watch her leave through the open doorway, but as she turns back, I see something on her face that I could never quite do when I was her.

She smiles.

And in the year of 2001, in a warm bedroom, a teenage girl wakes up crying happy tears, and she doesn't fully understand why.