#but tbh a couple of what I ordered I might not have read before

[thelastspeecher]

I've been on a very specific reading binge lately lol

[nvirskies]

it's getting hot in here - c. la rue

warnings: reader is like half-naked? just no shirt on is all but reader is wearing a sports bra, nothing sexual just like a tad suggestive?, clarisse is a gay mess, kinda ooc clarisse, i know next to nothing about blacksmithing please hang in there with me, fem reader, no use of y/n, self-conscious reader, not beta read

summary: clarisse goes to pick up a custom order dagger from the forge when she's met with an unexpected sight.

hephaestus!daughter!reader x clarisse la rue

word count: 1.3k

taglist: @lvrue @azrielsdiary @b0ok-lover @star-girl69 @petitegavotte

from this post !

a/n: tbh might make this a multi part thing, at least a second part. also, so sorry this took so long to finish- i got sidetracked with a couple other things irl. hope you enjoy! men, nsfw, non-sapphics, 16- / 19+ dni

It was no secret the kids of Cabin 9 ran a side business to make some extra cash. It was pretty lucrative, given that there would always be a line of demigods waiting to have their weapon(s) of choice customized. Custom engravings, patterns cast into handles, ergonomic handpiece add-ons, and so much more. Name it, and it would be done for the right price, forged with impeccable quality.

And that was how Clarisse La Rue found herself heading to the forge just east of the strawberry fields with a thin paper in one hand and a small bag of golden drachmas in the other. The edges of the slip were just barely singed, and the writing on it looked nearly incomprehensible to many eyes, scribbled notes of her order confirmation and gods only knew what else. It didn’t matter to her, she just needed it to get her dagger and go.

Crowds parted for her like the Red Sea, once-lively conversations coming to a grinding halt as she walked straight through crowds and groups with nothing more than a glare and a sharp look in any general direction. 

In no time at all, the familiar sounds of machinery clanking, fire hissing and crackling, and hammers striking metal filled the air. It was the forge, the singular place where one could guarantee there would be at least one child of Hephaestus in there at all hours of the day. 

She pushed open the heavy metal door, swinging it wide open soundlessly despite its obvious weight. And what a sight she was greeted with. You were there alone, hunched over a piece of blisteringly hot metal, pounding away at it with a hammer in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other.

Something about you entranced her. 

She didn’t know if it was the way your hair was pulled into a low ponytail, some loose strands clinging to the sides of your face, the way you subconsciously bit your lip as you focused completely on the red-hot metal in front of you. Or perhaps, it was the way your muscles rippled in the dim firelight as you struck the metal again and again, a thin sheen of sweat covering the exposed portions of your skin from both the heat and the exertion. 

Maybe it was a combination or something else entirely. 

As she gazed at you, a light blush dusted her cheeks as she came to the realization that you weren’t wearing much while working. The heat of the forge had led you to forgo wearing a shirt entirely, said shirt reduced to a tiny, crumpled gray bundle of fabric in the corner of the room. You were left wearing a sports bra, dusted with ash and soot and a pair of baggy sweatpants resting just above your hips.

It wasn’t as if Clarisse had never seen people dressed in less before. Hell, she’d seen her own fair amount of skin for various reasons. But this time, it seemed different. The slip of paper and bag of coins in her hands were forgotten momentarily as she simply stared at you from the doorway.

The way the dim light of the roaring furnace illuminated you from behind gave you an almost ethereal glow, the edges of the flames flickering around your moving silhouette. 

She could see the muscles in your arm and shoulder tensing and relaxing with every ever-so-precise swing of the hammer, and she found herself silently watching you work from the doorway. 

Ultimately, it was the soft clinking coming from the bag of drachmas Clarisse held in her hand that drew your attention away from the project in front of you. Your head snapped up, tense and a tad startled from the sudden sound, having been so zoned into your work that you hadn’t noticed her presence. 

The hammer in your hand dropped to the metal workbench with a loud clang, the sound reverberating throughout the forge, ripping Clarisse from the glossed-over, hazy look in her eyes as she watched you move just moments ago, having been completely and utterly under your spell.

“Shit-!” you exclaimed, jumping slightly and wincing at the harsh sound, eyes widening further as you’re greeted with the sight of a Clarisse who seemed far too casual compared to how she normally treated campers, especially given her outward distaste towards children of Hephaestus. 

And all of a sudden, you’re all too aware of your lack of a shirt and your cheeks flare with an embarrassed bright red flush.

Flushed the same color as the heated metal in front of you, Clarisse noted absentmindedly. It wasn’t a look she didn’t like. But of course, she would never admit that. The big, bad Clarisse La Rue flustered over something as insignificant as muscles on a girl? Impossible.

Her attention is drawn back to you, observing as you scurry to the other side of the room to grab your stashed-away shirt, slipping the loose grey fabric over your body, any and all views of the muscles she had seen just moments prior completely disappearing in a matter of seconds.

After having taken a few calming breaths, you steeled yourself for a barrage of snarky remarks that you were sure would come spewing out of the Ares cabin counselor’s mouth like acid out of the myrmeke’s mouths, but they never came.

Instead, you’re greeted with the sight of a Clarisse who seemed to be a bit flustered? Her eyes didn’t meet yours for a moment before she straightened herself out. Before your very eyes, you watched her cool and collected facade slip over her like a mask, and that trademark smirk of hers tugged at the corners of her lips.

“I’m here to pick up an order, under my name,” she remarks, holding up the bag of drachmas and thin slip of paper in an outstretched hand. Her gaze seemed like it was scrutinizing everything about your appearance from the baggy grey shirt that hung loosely over your frame to the soot just barely smudged on your forehead. Whether it was a good or bad look you had no idea, subconsciously shrinking into the shadows of the dimly lit forge.

“Right, right, La Rue…” you trail off nervously, scanning the room for the rack that held completed orders and leafing through the tags attached to each object. “La Rue, La Rue, La Rue, where is it-?” you muse to yourself, repeating her last name in a hushed tone until the sight of it comes into view. The dagger she had ordered was at the edge of the table, with the request for a heavyweight handle and an etching of her initials into the butt of it.

Normally, Clarisse would have found your behavior annoying if it were coming from anyone else, but oddly enough, she quite liked the way her last name rolled off your tongue. It felt almost natural, too natural. Quickly, she brushed away the lingering thoughts about how you had looked almost god-like with the flame from the roaring furnace glowing behind you, the thoughts of what your skin would feel like under her hands. 

After a beat of silence, you grabbed said dagger, placed a little ball of clay over its razor-sharp tip, and slipped it into a small drawstring bag, pulling it closed. 

“That’ll be five golden drachmas, La Rue, or fifteen silver ones. Whatever works for you” you say as you hand her the bag, other hand outstretched for the paper she held and to take the coins. She dropped the five golden coins in your palm and grabbed the bag to turn on her heel and walk out without another word.

Or so you thought.

“Thanks for the weapon. I’ll see you around, pretty girl.”

[ieatkeyboard]

What Obey Me brothers do for Valentines day

Note: I have a love-hate relationship with Valentines day but it's a really cute holiday! Hope you guys have fun :] Warnings: Sappy love, fluff

Lucifer: - It's cannon he's been in many relationships so I don't think it's his first rodeo - He cleans up your room while you're at work. Washes your bedding+other laundry, makes your bed and folds your laundry, does some vacuuming. -He doesn't go through your drawers or anything just tries to make it a bit neater so you can come home and not worry about cleaning up - He gets you gifts based on things you like. If you like to make jewellery he'll get a couple kits from a hobby store to make together. If you like comfy clothes, he'll customise a set of pyjamas for you, etc. - He'll jot down notes of things you like all January. He makes sure to ask at the beginning of January what your dream Valentines day activity would be in hopes you forget about it over the month - I feel like he wouldn't ask for what he wants but he enjoys doing things together. He's a bit of a sap so he uses Valentines day to show it more. - I feel like he'd be a sucker for roses. Get him white and red roses with a little note and he'll never forget it. - He might get you some little things on Valentines day if it's on a week day and use the weekend to do more. - He'd love make dinner with you but he has your favourite restaurant on standby in case Beel walks in- - Watching movies together in his room cause his bed is bigger, taking your blankets and pillows into his room cause you're spending the night there. -He tears up a little at the end of the night, when you're sleeping in his arms. He hopes this is the most memorable Valentines day you'll ever have

Mammon: - He's a sap but in the "idk what I'm doing" way - Anything he knows about you leaves his brain - He gets you flowers and chocolate and sprays his cologne on a hoodie for you - He'll probably take you for a drive and show you all his favourite places (Spoiler. It's the places you first met, took your first date at, had all your firsts at) - He'll cry remembering how it started. how you ended up in his life and all the things you've been through - He takes you through a drive through and you eat in the parking lot. He has your shared playlist playing quietly in the background while you both talk about your days and your memories together - I feel like he wouldn't need anything. He just wants you - But if you got him a new sweater or watch he was looking at, he'd be extremely happy. - I also feel like he likes sunflowers

Leviathan: - He's never had a Valentine before, he also would be too scared to ask - He'd slip a note under your bedroom door that says "Wanna be my Valentine?" and when you agree he gets really happy but also nervous that you're kidding or are doing it out of pity - After much reassurance you set up plans together - You guys watch your favourite anime together, build the anime figurines Levi's been putting off together, play games, order food - You probably sneak out later to go walk to a convenience store to get snacks and drinks and go fuck around at a park - I think he'd buy your snacks for you and pick up a stuffy for you - He isn't overly sure what you like in the flowers and such department but he tries - I feel like he isn't a big flower person tbh

Satan: - Romantic slut man - He makes you a goody bag. He writes a love letter with references to the books you've read together, makes a kiss print sweater like the ones on tiktok (Got the idea from Asmo sending him stuff of what to do for you), got you the snacks you like, a gift card to the places you like and a lamb stuffy that reminds him of you - He likes lavender for sure - I feel like getting him a nice lavender room spray to help him relax while he reads, a cat stuffy, the book he's been dying to read but is always in use at the library and a new blanket would be perfect for him (I am absolutely projecting, and what) - Making a blanket for with him and watching the movie adaptations to the books you like is everything. Go to a cat cafe to get lunch before going shopping and putting the gift card he got you to use

Asmo: - Oh lordy lord - Bath bomb, rose petals, wine, your favourite show, the kiss print sweater but I feel like he'd do matching pants (You'll NEVER guess where he put the kisses!!!*REAL* *NOT CLICKBAIT*), spa day, a cute lunch and dinner date, SO MANY PICTURES - He wants to spoil you. Give you everything romantic he could possibly think of - He likes lilies. lilys? Idfk you get the idea - He also would love to make stuff together! I also feel like Asmo draws up a little map of all the places you had your firsts and put little Polaroid pictures of those days next to the spots - Taking him shopping and getting to go home, do a little fashion show, try all the new makeup he got one each other, make the teddy bear you got him smell like you, get him new blankets/candles/decorations for his room. He'd be so happy - I feel like as much as Valentines day is the day of love and he'd flirt a lot, he'd keep sex out of the plans (Unless you want it but than after the fact he'll complain about needing to catch up on the other plans he made lol) - He loves you for so much more than your body and especially cause he's the Avatar of lust he want to prove it's not just his sin getting in the way

Beel: - He gets you comfy clothes, snacks, and other stuff you like! If you have your ears pierced or have other piercings he'll get you cute jewellery, get you a necklace to match. If you like cats, he'll get you a sweater with cat ears and a cat stuffy - He worries about getting you flowers because if they smell good he'll want to eat them- - On the note he for sure likes edible flowers like hibiscus, rose, lavender and chamomile. I'd recommend getting him flowers in the way of getting flower flavoured things - He would appreciate ordering food from all the places you've been on dates so you can have a trip down memory lane while eating (He absolutely asked Asmo for that idea) - I feel like he'd ask his brothers and your friends for ideas cause as much as he knows you, you probably admit to like different or more stuff with friends - He asks you to show him all your favourite movies, current and childhood. He wants to know how you became the amazing person he fell in love with - He wouldn't want much for Valentines day. Candy and like I said, flower flavoured things would be enough for him. If you get him anything else please do not make it food related he will chew on it. Getting him new clothes and stuff based off his movie would make him really happy

Belphie: - Blanket, both of the fluffy and weighted variety. Cow stuffy. New sweater. -I would try and steer clear of stuff to make him sleep harder but he's a comfy kinda guy so it's hard - Star themed pyjamas and hair clips. Or bleaching his favourite constellations on a black hoodie. He'll wear it everywhere - I feel like he'd like white roses and dahlias - His ideal date would be getting food, going to the planetarium and talking, listening to music, looking at the stars, etc. And than going home and napping with his new blanket and in his new pyjamas. - He'd get you snacks, a hoodie and shorts that are your favourite colour, get you a new pillow that he'd test out first to make sure it was comfy. - And ofc he'd get you stuff you like. Your favourite perfume, stuff based on movies/shows/anime you like. - He'd get a little sappy and tell you he's so glad your still with him. That you're his

[charmedreincarnation]

Hi Maya! my name is Claire and I got into the void state, shifted and manifested my dream life using your lucid dreaming guide, and your recommended subliminals!

I think lucid dreaming is the easiest way to do anything spiritual related because dreams are the link of reality to the subconscious. I have now entered the void, shifted, and practice manifesting while using lucid dreaming. I had been trying for 3 years and your guide really gave me clarity I needed to complete my journey. This was a couple of months ago when I first read your post that I got my dream life so I just want to share my experiences in case it could help others!

Sooo….I first restarted my journey after downloading tumblr. I knew I wanted to do lucid dreaming so I did my research and found your guide and the rest is history. I started small, and after using FILD I combined that with your intention method and your recommended subliminals and it sped up my journey. I crawled before I walked and I first started with having small manifestations using lucid dreaming

In my lucid dreams

*I practiced driving in lucid dreaming and manifested my license

*I practiced my public speaking and manifested less anxiety

*i talked to my guardian Angel. It took form of an owl, which is the first spiritual experience I ever had.

Then I went bigger and tried shifting. After a week of practice I got lucid dreaming down and could become lucid every night.

Then I shifted. Best day of my life and I had no plans so I ended up shifting to a reality where no men exist 😭 it was honestly so fun and I spent a week of dr time telling women about what men are, what they do, and the oppression women in this reality faced. It was in a futuristic yet renaissancey type like reality. Anyways as I explored this new society I discovered something miraculous: the disappearance of men has actually created harmony. Women are now able to focus on themselves and the things that matter most to them without worrying about the men.This newfound bliss didn’t last long however as I soon realized that a new problem had emerged. With the absence of men many essential tasks were left undone. And so, the women of our society had formed a collective economy in order to fill this void.One of the most peculiar duties that the women had assumed was to take care of the sheep. With no shepherds to take care of them, women used their skills to care for these animals and protect them from the elements. They have become so adept at this task that they have perfected it. The lack of men may have been a dramatic adjustment, but it has made for a joyful and empowering society.

When I came back I made a list of realities, like self created ones, tv shows, books, etc that I wanted to shift my awareness to and historic past places I wanted to visit. I spent a lot of time doing that, I was barely ever in this cr tbh and I enjoyed it throughly. I decided then that I was going to one day permanent shift and explore the infinite vast world for eternity. When I came back to this reality after having the first initial exploring crave I realized I hated my life lmfaooo. But I knew about the void and started reading stories about that and then I decided I wanted to change my life here too.

I mean.. I have the multiverse to my will so might as well fix this life here too. I hated coming back to this reality after my shifts because my parents were abusive, I was kind of ugly, and my life had gone to shit. I didn’t really care to change it because I was barely here anyways but after reading Neville and the law and understanding that “clones” really don’t exist and I’m just switching states I decided up stop being such a loser and realize it’s all me and only me. Anyways I manifested a complete change in my life in every aspect. I don’t really care to make a list but I am gorgeous, my family is revised to be old money rich, loving,and taken care of, my house is 30,000 sq feet,revised my name to Claire (it’s so pretty I love it) I have a loving boyfriend who is into shifting and spirituality as well, and so much more. I still do plan to permanent shift one day and I reserve to sundays for exploring the multiverse but I want to enjoy this reality now.

I thought being here was an accident after shifting, but nope everything happens bc you intended to and it’s so goddamn beautiful. This came out super ranty and lame but I just wanted to share in case I motivated anyone! I still sometimes come on tumblr so can I be your 🎐 anon. I love seeing all the success stories and everyone living their best life ! Anyways the best tips I can give you as a stranger who has been through all this is be kind to yourself and never give up. You found it all for a reason and you deserve to have everything and you will.

The first reality you shifted to reminds me of a very vivid dream I had four months ago. Regardless anyways your entire experience is so beautiful and I relate a lot to your experience I’m glad you have found happiness in every reality including this one beloved :)! Thank you for sharing 🎐 anon

[sufferu]

MASTERPOST

Check the tags for quick and easy navigation. (this will no doubt end up being updated repeatedly lol)

Cool Tags

Reading the Light Novels for the First Time: At this point it’s more like reading the Web Novels for the first time, but it’s basically screenshots of quotes + commentary.

Reading the Side Stories for the First Time: Screenshots of quotes + commentary — this time from the side stories.

Re:Zero Brainworms: Cool thoughts/theories about Re:Zero.

My Inbox: Asks that I have actually answered (I am so sorry to everyone stuck in Inbox Purgatory —)

Fanart: Re:Zero Fanart. And also official art.

Fanfiction: Mostly commentary on popular Re:Zero fabric tropes tbh

My Fics: Completed fanfiction of my own. (Or. Completed chapters.)

My Ficlets: Small snippets of fanfics I am working on. I hope to add to this somewhat regularly.

Fan-made IF Routes

Nameless Wanderer AU: Julius loses his Name in Priestella and strikes out on his own, aimless, only to end up getting dragged along by the mysterious possibly-the-Archbishop-of-Pride named Schwartz who claims to be another victim of Gluttony.

Crusch IF: Reinhard brings Subaru to Ferris after Elsa’s assassination attempt, where he ends up being hired as a worker in Crusch’s mansion. Everything goes pretty well for the first month, until about two days before the Whale is scheduled to hit — at which point Subaru’s mind shatters.

Nect Reveal IF: Julius sees into Subaru’s memories when they link souls during the fight against Petelgeuse, where he 1) concludes that he is a couple months old, as he cannot see into his time from beyond the Great Waterfall and 2) figures out RBD in its entirety.

Housecat IF/Chewtoy IF: Everyone is an animal hybrid and housecat!Subaru has developed a complex where he has started to think that he was summoned here as a domesticated cat to serve as a chewtoy for all the wilder and more dangerous animal hybrids of the Re:Zero world.

Whale IF: Subaru dies during the Whale fight and resets to moments before it begins, where he spends about two months continuously looping in order to get every single person out alive. Everyone figures out that he has some sort of time travel ability behind his back. He has no idea.

Omegaverse IF: Omegaverse.

House Arrest IF: Reinhard kidnaps Subaru alongside Felt due to him being a suspected Witch Cultist.

Amnesia IF: Instead of Joshua and Julius losing their names in Priestella, Subaru loses his memories. Everyone gets a front-seat view to Subaru’s second spiral into madness as he rediscovers RBD, one loop at a time.

Natsumi IF/Homosexual IF: Crack AU where Subaru has internally accepted Natsumi Schwartz before the start of the series but is now consciously repressing her anyway due to fears of how crossdressing might be seen in this medieval-style fantasy world. He is so bad at this that everyone thinks he’s gay. This does not stop him from trying to present himself as a Man at every opportunity and giving everyone — especially the traditionally masculine men he is attempting to emulate — massive amounts of psychic damage.

Kintsugi IF: Reinsuba Soulmate AU where traumatic events show up as golden scars on your soulmate’s body. Reinhard has no idea who his soulmate is or what the fuck could be causing all of these horrifying injuries and he is trying desperately to find out whoever’s responsible.

Feral Subaru AU: Subaru is Isekai’d at ten years old and is immediately traumatized by Capella before being taken in by Emilia. He bites people sometimes.

Runaway IF: Subaru and Emilia have a miscommunication post-Petelgeuse that leads to Subaru (wrongly) concluding that he is unwanted, and for the very good reason of painting a target on everyone’s backs, and so he leaves in the middle of the night and accidentally kicks off a manhunt that lasts for an entire year.

Back to Zero IF: Everyone learns about RBD in its entirety, and then everyone except for Subaru gets sent back to Subaru’s duel against Julius. Chaos ensues.

[reasonsforhope]

One of the things that I really appreciate about this blog is that now, every now and then, when I hear about some new awful thing in the world, it will be in the context of "and this is what people are doing to fight it". That's so much less paralyzing.

(If you have any sources to recommend for experiencing more of that, me and my mental health would be further indebted.)

Ahhh, I forgot about this message, sorry! Been a hectic couple of months.

I absolutely have more sources!

One of the biggest is the media collaboration The Solutions Journalism Network, which focuses on just that: closing the massive gap between people reporting on problems and people reporting solutions.

I have a giant bookmark list of sources for this blog, for good news stories and hope, so here's a bunch of links! Roughly in order of how good I think they are (in terms of size of stories, previously uncovered stories, good editorial standards, accuracy, detail, number of stories, etc. etc.)

We're gonna start with the ones that do good news ONLY, because sometimes you fucking need that, and then below I'll link some excellent sources that have a higher than average number of quality pieces on good news, even though they also publish other stuff too.

Good and hopeful news sources:

Future Crunch - If you only read one of these sites, read this one!!! It's a MASSIVE biweekly roundup of international good news stories with really high quality reporting--a lot of UN and WHO and major NGO reports as their sources. I cry from hope at LEAST 30% of the times I read this, and tbh it used to be like 100%, about a year ago when I started realizing that hope for the planet and for humanity was something that was REASONABLE TO HAVE.

Reasons to Be Cheerful - Fewer stories, but FANTASTIC quality of reporting, especially on fantastic local stories, many of them in international communities, that you've definitely never heard of before

Positive.News - Good coverage and especially roundups, mostly Europe-focused.

Good News Network - This one is awesome for the high number and approachability of its stories, but unfortunately also includes more "That's not news that's just a heartwarming anecdote" and "That's not good news it's actually dystopian" pieces than I'd like.

Jane Goodall's Good For All News - Really awesome focus on international issues, a lot of news from Africa, a lot of news about youth organizers and youth-led projects, and a lot of focus on how helping the environment and helping communities are inextricably connected. Yall Jane Goodall is doing SO MUCH amazing work out there even at her age, and most people also have no idea.

Good Black News - Mostly posts on music and entertainment, and doesn't post all that often, but they're great.

Good Good Good

The Good News Hub

Only Good News Daily

( ) for Tomorrow - Directory of grassroots solutions to all types of issues and "proof that no solution is too small to have an impact"

A Plus - Dedicated to uplifting stories in video form. I'm sure they're awesome, I just don't rly use them bc videos can set off my sensory issues

The Happy Broadcast - Illustrated good news tidbits! I haven't been using them much but it looks like they've (recently?) added more text and sources to each image, so I might change that. Illustrations are pretty cute tbh

Sources that publish a lot of good news, but also other not good stuff:

Euronews.Green - Environmental section of European news org

Yes! Magazine - Excellent solutions-focused journalism, excellent focus on BIPOC content and underrepresented communities

TheMayor.EU - EU-focused, discusses a lot of good projects and cool local developments/programs

Grist - Solutions journalism, fantastic corage especially on environmental issues

Mongabay - Billed as "News & Inspiration from Nature's Frontline," they are amazing and have some of the best goddamn reporting I've ever seen. They mean "frontline" very literally: there's a TON of pieces about and by and interviewing communities on the front lines of environmental conflict, especially developing nations and Indigenous communities world wide. That said there's also a lot of bad news on nature's frontline still, while they report a lot of amazing and powerful good news, make sure you're in a resilient mood when you visit this site, because some of the stories are also pretty upsetting.

Indian Country Today and Native News Online - two of the leading news orgs for Indigenous communities in the United States. Kind of like Mongabay in that they have a lot of good news stories from Indigenous communities that often no one else is reporting on, but also plenty of coverage of things that are definitely not good, so better to read when you're in a resilient mood.

If you have any good news sites/sources you'd like to add, please drop them in the replies or comments! I'm always looking for new good news sources (though I def don't always have time to use all of them, rip!). Plus, let's support these sites by giving them some traffic!

We could all use more ways to get some more good news.

[lynxtheserval]

Hi! Can I request a Yandere Boombox X Fem Reader?

(tw: Lots of Yandere shit like holy hell I think I went crazy with this one tbh (like murder (probably), stalking, stabbing with a glass thingy, probably more) please don't read this if anything related to this scares or triggers you, brother I was wondering if I went a little crazy with this one)

Yandere!Boombox x Fem!Reader:

I loved writing this one ngl, his personality might be a little ooc cuz I've never written for Boombox before.

It may be a little better written in certain spots then others, this was made in multiple days.

I like to call him blocky Lucio (totally not a overwatch fan LMAO)

You were having a rough day. The casual old "wake up on the wrong side of the bed" thing.

First, you get in the shower when it's still cold. Freezing, even.

Second, you ran out of coffee to make at home, went to the local coffee shop just to have them get your order wrong twice. You didn't even get the right drink at the end, just taking what you got, you were in a rush after all.

Third, the past couple weeks you've been feeling watched, you assumed it was just anxiety but were never sure. The feeling was especially strong today.

Fourth, you ended up getting to work late, accidentally making your boss mad. Your boss wasn't a great person.

"Why the HELL are you late?!" Your boss yelled at you when he saw you walk through the employee only door, "I told you to be here over an hour ago!"

"I'm sorry sir," you started, "some stuff happened-"

"Some stuff, eh?" He interrupted, "like, what? Your parents died?"

"No but-"

"Then you have no right to be late!" He stomped off, leaving you to get to work. Apparently they were short-staffed today, as you work at one of those fancy restaurants a bunch of higher-ups go to. It was empty, so you didn't understand why he was so mad.

As you started cleaning up some of the tables, you heard the door open and a particular looking demon walked through. He was wearing a light green shirt with a slightly darker green tie, a baseball cap placed backwards on his head, 2 long green horns protruding from the sides of his head, but what stood out the most was his visor. A visor was placed over his eyes, bright green lights resembling eyes glowed from it, he seemed to be staring right at you. He saw you look at him, tilted his head slightly to the side and grinned at you.

You looked at him for a moment, then realized you should probably sit him down at a table. You walked over to him in a tired manner and asked,

"Hey welcome, just one or are more coming?"

He stared at you some more, and seemed to be observing your features, then realized you spoke to him. The eyes on his visor changed to a shocked realization expression.

"O-oh- you talking to me?" He pointed to himself.

You nodded slowly, getting partially creeped out by the long seconds of staring he seemed to be giving you.

"Yes..?"

He seemed to blush a tiny bit, then responded.

"Well- uhm- yeah! Just me! Haha! I'm Boombox, by the way." He laughed nervously, putting his hand up to his neck.

You raised an eyebrow, spoke,

"I'm Y/N."

And you got a menu and you motioned to Boombox to follow you to a table. You lead him to a table, a table for two. You placed the menu down on the table, then you went to go get water for him.

As you walked off, the man watched you. Your beautiful features, hair, eyes, everything about you was wonderful! As he saw you walk through the employee only door, he frowned. He hates when he can't see you. Boombox decided to get up and look into the window of the door.

As you walked into the break room, you took a deep breath and sat down to take a break. You laid your head down on the table and thought about the day you've had so far, and Boombox who was waiting for his drink.

The look he gave you, it was scary. Even through his visor, you could tell, he wanted something from you.

As you started to doze off farther, you felt someone slam their hand on the table. You shot your head up and saw your boss with an angry look.

As your boss yelled at you, Boombox watched you, and your dumb, sick, awful boss. He hummed and his eyes underneath the visor turned into a pissed, sadistic look. Your boss isn't going to like what's about to happen.

After your boss was finished yelling at you, you decided to leave. You were debating on quitting. As as you walked home, you still had that paranoid feeling, like something was wrong, really really wrong.

Back at the restaurant, your boss walked out of the break room, and Boombox was back at his table. He was staring directly at your boss, he waved his hand and smiled at him.

"Hey, could I get a water?" He asked, as calmly as he could manage.

Your boss muttered something along the lines of "she didn't even get the water.." and went to go get a glass cup.

Once the boss came back with the water and placed in on the table in front of Boombox, then Boombox grabbed it quickly, then stood up and approached the boss.

"You know, it's uh, kinda rude to yell at a person like that," he grinned and took a sip of the water, "especially Y/N, she's trying her best, yeah?"

The boss looked confused for a moment, "I have no idea what you're talking abo-" as Boombox splashed the cold water from the cup all over him.

"Oh yeah?" He hummed and grinned even more, "I saw the whole thing." Boombox shoved the boss down on the ground and threw the cup directly at the boss's face. It shattered.

Boombox laughed, crouched down and grabbed one of the larger shards from the broken glass, and started to stab the boss directly in the neck.

Back at your house, you sat down at your couch and cried, so much was happening today. After about five minutes of crying, you heard a knock on the door. You sniffed and walked over to the door, wiping your eyes and opening the door.

It was Boombox? Something felt off about him though, why was he holding a glass shard, covered in blood..? It took you a second to realize what was going on, you tried to slam the door shut but he blocked the door with his foot, smiled and pushed the door open with a lot of force.

"Hey sweetheart! Sorry about your dumb boss, I wanted to make sure you were okay after that!" He walked inside your apartment and closed the door behind him. You backed up in fear and tried to run away from him, but he grabbed your arm and pulled you closer to him. "Oh no no no! You're not leaving quite yet."

You looked at him in fear and tried to say something but all that came out was a yelp as he pulled you closer and into a hug.

"He didn't hurt ya too badly, did he? Seriously, you don't have to worry about him anymore! He's been dealt with." He grinned even more and sighed, "you know, I've been watching you for a while now," he laughed, "and I thought it was finally time to introduce myself! Also I never got to tell you back there, Y/N is a beautiful name!"

[f4iry-bell]

Stained Shirt and Two Seats for One

a very long title, im so sorry about the setting of first chapter not being clear and switch of what is going on eacothers heads?? though its written in third person pov. first chapter is very terrible pls bare with me. its just for funies.

this is a regular x f!reader. anyone can read it.

NOTE: after TBH but AU where there is no tgg or anything that involves tgg(no avery's game, or alice being alive, etc etc). reader is 23-24. grayson is 26-27 y/o. im sorry for making gray kinda old ITS FOR PLOT REASONS.

warning: unclear setting 🧍‍♀️.

Y/n blinked rapidly as she was trying hard not to scream out of pain and anger. The hot liquid poured all over her burnt like hell. And the colour choice of her top was definitely not helping. At least she doesn't have to immediately meet her client as soon as she lands in London. Some of the people who passed by looked at her stained shirt and the man in front of her who looked so perfect. No, literally, he might just be perfect.

“My sincere apologies.” He apologised and his tone stated neutral, he sounded apologetic but yet not.

“It's okay.” She says giving him a poor smile while she looks at her top.

“It's not okay, your shirt is ruined.” He states.

“No, I was on my phone while I was walking, it's also my fault.” She said and watched him take his white handkerchief out handing it to her.

“I was not looking as well.”

“Thank you, but I don't think it's going to help.” She chuckled but his face remained neutral.

“I’m sorry again” He kept apologising and she kept saying ‘it's fine’

Finally they both parted ways. Grayson was thinking about the incident and the girl, he ruined a perfectly styled outfit. It was simple and probably comfortable for flying. He remembered that his flight is about to take off in 30 minutes. He can't let that event bother his whole plane ride.

As Grayson walked inside the flight through the economy, he recognised one person sitting in the middle, the girl whom he poured his black coffee on. She was wearing a cardigan over her stained shirt. Her wired earphones disappeared in her wavy hair. She sat in between a weird old man and a woman with her baby on her lap. She looked so done. He can't imagine how bad her day must be. First, he pours coffee on her and now she has to sit next to probably two worst types of people you would find on a plane. He couldn't help himself. He walked to her seat, fortunately he didn't have to tap on her to make her notice his presence. She looked at him once he was near her seat and unplugged her earphones from her ears with a confused look. Probably wondering why he is here.

“Hi.” She said and gave him an awkward smile as if this man did not just pour hot coffee on her.

“I have an offer,” He said. “For you.”

“Oh. um, oh” He can tell that she was super confused by her response.

“You have a seat in first class” He informed her.

“Huh?” She was still confused.

“You heard me. I have a seat for you in the first class” He was trying to be clear.

She can tell that this man was about to board in first class when he poured coffee on her just by his looks. But why is he offering his seat? Because he poured coffee on her? And where will he sit? In her seat? He looks like he never travelled out of first class.

“Oh you don't have to give up your seat. It's fine.” She smiles.

“Ma’am, I'm not giving up my seat. Take the offer” He ordered, getting kind of impatient.

“You’re not? But you said that you have a seat for me”

“True”

“So, your seat”

“Yes. My other seat” He added “You'll be sitting next to me”

“You have booked two seats?” She asked. Was he supposed to travel with someone? His outfit might say that he was supposed to travel with a business partner or assistant.

“I always do. Now if you're done with your questions, we must leave before the airhostess asks us” He said.

She blinked a couple times not believing what just happened. She stood up and noticed the lady with her baby was giving her a jealous look. I mean she can't blame the lady, who wouldn't want to travel in first class. She took her small backpack with her.

She spoke as they walked “So um why'd you book two seats?” She didn't want to pry but she was going to sit next to this man for hours, she didn't want it to be awkward throughout.

“As I've mentioned already. I always do”. He replied. Showing no interest in a conversation. He is giving her a seat in first class that should be enough of an apology for the coffee, right?

“But why?”

“Because I do not like sitting next to strangers. You'll be surprised to find out even people who travel first class want to engage in unnecessary conversations” He told her. She gave a nod. She made a mental note to not engage in a conversation with him.

Grayson noticed it, he also thought that she is quite polite and beautiful too.

She tried hard not to think that he is an arrogant asshole, well he is giving his seat to her so he must be fine. She made sure not to make silly conversation with him or not talk at all. This man booked two tickets just so he doesn't have to engage with others. He must hate people. Y/n was not a fan of people or small talk with strangers either so it's not hard for her to keep her to herself. But if the awkward silence is too loud she won't be able to help herself, she will just say something random.

The plane ride was quiet as Grayson wanted. He liked the fact that the girl did not try to have any small talk with him. All though he tried his best to mind his own business he kept noticing what she was doing, for the first half an hour of the flight the girl was writing something on her notebook. He wanted to peek but it would be too obvious. After some writing she took out a beige eye mask and then rested throughout the flight. Watching her like a creep he decided to do the same as well.

It was like an unwritten rule to walk out of London's airport together for them. Like the plane ride the walk was also quiet. Grayson had a car waiting for him outside already, the girl on the other hand was waiting for a taxi. He wanted to offer her a ride but he thought it was probably too much.

“I’m once again sorry about your clothes. Have a good life” He started and ended the conversation without even giving her time to speak. He didn't care if she thought he was rude, he will never see this girl ever again.

next part →

[confused-alienated]

Pinky promise

Summary: Spooky has something to show Tyler.

Tw: GRAPHIC SELF HARM (Take care of yourself)

Notes: I wrote this a couple of days ago whilst half asleep. This is a vent fic tbh and it's rlly weird. I hope this does better on here bcs it got buried on Ao3. Enjoy!

Word count: 1,407

Link to the og fic here.

---

Josh and Tyler were having a sleepover. It had been a really nice night, in Tyler's opinion. Tyler knew that Josh would agree.

The two had ordered takeaway before settling onto Tyler's sofa and watching a film, Fight club. Josh had chosen since he had paid.

Although it was his favourite, Josh had quickly fallen asleep. They were barely halfway through the film when rimmed-red, too-large brown eyes blinked open.

"Josh?"

"Not Josh!" Spooky Jim grinned then nuzzled Tyler. Tyler would never get over how cuddly Spooky was.

"Hey, Spooks," Tyler pulled Spooky into his side. Spooky hummed happily. "We're watching fight club."

"Yay!" Spooky smiled, "I love this movie!"

"I know you do, Spooky."

The two had settled back down, Spooky Jim cuddled up to Tyler.

As the film ended, Tyler could feel himself drifting off. His eyes involuntary closed and he leaned into Spooky.

"Tyyyyler," Spooky drew out and shook Tyler awake.

"Yeah?" Tyler replied, grogily.

"I wanna-" Spooky giggled to himself softly. "I wanna show you something!"

Tyler ruffled Spooky's hair, "Uh-huh, let's see then."

"You can't- can't tell Josh though. Promise, otherwise I can't show you," Spooky shakily held out his pinky, "Pinky promise me, Tyty."

Tyler huffed, 'Tyty', that was new.

It was an odd request but Tyler figured that there were loads of things that Blurryface didn't want him to know. This couldn't be that different. Tyler decided that if it was dangerous then he'd tell Josh. Tyler locked his pinky with Spooky's, "Pinky promise, I won't tell Josh."

Spooky smiled wider than Tyler had ever seen. Tyler swore that if Josh smiled like that he'd tear the corners of his mouth. It looked painful. Tyler jumped when Spooky began shaking his hand, still holing onto his pinky finger. Spooky frantically bobbed their hands up and down with such force Tyler thought Spooky could've pulled his hand clean off.

Tyler placed his hand over Spooky's, "Alright, alright. Let's see what you have then."

Spooky beamed again. He shifted away from Tyler and fumbled with the button of Josh's trousers.

Okay..? That was a bit odd. Tyler ignored how Spooky angrily muttered about hating Josh's clothes and Josh in general.

Maybe Josh just got a new tattoo, or Spooky did, Tyler tried to rationalise.

It wasn't a tattoo.

Spooky's thighs were covered in scars. Tyler's stomach dropped and his blood ran cold. He placed a hand over his mouth to stop himself from throwing up.

"Aren't they nice!" Again with that smile.

Had Spooky done this or did Josh?

As if Spooky could read Tyler's mind he answered, "I usually get Joshie to do this. He doesn't love it as much as I do but I can forgive him!" Spooky chirped.

Tyler shuddered as Spooky ignored his stunned silence. Spooky pointed at a particularly thick scar. He thinks it's called a keloid, raised and pinky-brown against Spooky's pale thigh. It's surrounded by many others, varying in length and thickness. Tyler thinks it might be the longest.

"I did this one!" Spooky traced it up and down, "You should have seen Josh afterwards!" Spooky spoke quickly, he kept interrupting himself with his own laughter. "He was- was sobbing like crazy! He kept begging me to make it stop and of-of course I handed him a blade and control. You should have seen the blood, Tyty. It was so pretty."

Tyler could barely register what was happening around him. He was in shock. Spooky was sat right next to him, describing how he tortured Josh like it was his favourite thing in the world. Maybe it was.

The world felt fuzzy around him, Spooky's happy chirping being drowned out by the ringing in his ears. Tyler stared at Spooky's thighs in horror.

The scars. Spooky's thighs were covered, they criss-crossed over each other. There were faded, white lines, raised pink bumps, small scabs that had obviously been picked at, fresh, red lines and gashes and blood. Dried blood drowned Spooky's thighs. It flaked off as Spooky's fingers danced around his thigh.

Tyler barely came back to himself as Spooky removed Josh's phone case. Spooky fiddled around for a second before pulling out a small, silver blade.

Tyler's blood somehow grew colder, maybe he'd freeze from the inside out. That's how he was now, frozen.

"Watch this," Spooky mock-whispered, a hand cupped around his mouth. Tyler could only watch in horror as Spooky dragged the blade down his thigh. He traced over scars with the blade, cutting deeper and deeper and-

Tyler's body reacted faster than his brain could process. He gripped Spooky's hands, forcing them away from his leg, Josh's leg.

"Stop!" Tyler said too loud. He snatched the blade from Spooky.

Spooky frowned, "Why? Do you want a turn? It's okay you can use my blade, Tyty!"

Tyler's stomach flipped, "N-no. I'm alright, thank you."

"Oh," Spooky said darkly, "are you... Jealous?"

"What!?"

"You're jealous of me," Spooky declared, "Don't worry though, I can help you!"

Tyler gasped and swiftly pocketed the blade, "Oh- Oh my-!" He turned and leaned over the edge of the sofa, vomiting onto the floor.

Tyler coughed a few times and wiped his mouth, he was vaugly aware of how Spooky was staring at him. His too-large eyes burned holes into Tyler's back.

"Can I have my blade back?" Spooky asked plainly, "Unless you want to use it?"

Tyler answered by throwing up again.

"Alright," Spooky muttered. Tyler shakily turned around to face him. He stared at Spooky's leg. Blood was steadily dripping down it, Tyler could only watch as the blood binded with the fabric of his sofa.

Spooky studied Tyler's shaking form. Tyler was hugging himself with one arm, his other hand was firmly over the pocket that held Spooky's blade. He was panting, maybe he would be sick again? As he thought, Spooky traced the blood around on his thigh.

A look of realisation passed on Spooky's face, "Oh, I get it," Spooky said in a sickly sweet tone, "You don't like blood. I'm sorry, Tyty. Blurry was exactly the same when I showed him." Spooky looked disappointed, Tyler thought he was going to throw up again.

"Yeah," Tyler struggled out, "Yeah, I don't like blood."

"Awwh," Spooky frowned, "I'm sorry, Tyty. I'll just show the scars next time." Spooky placed a bloody hand on Tyler's upper arm. He ignored how Tyler shivered under his touch.

Tyler's ability to speak had abandoned him again but Spooky didn't seem to mind. He happily yapped about blood and Josh and Blurry.

Blurryface.

Spooky said that Blurryface didn't like this either. Tyler knew that lately Blurryface had lost his lust for Tyler's blood. He reflected on how Blurryface had stopped telling Tyler to hurt himself. Recently, they had been cooking and Tyler had sliced his finger open on one of the knives. Blurryface had disinfected and wrapped the wound with confidence. He had tended to wounds before... Spooky's wounds.

Spooky was slowing down, leaning heavily into Tyler. Tyler became painfully aware of just how late it was.

"Come on," Tyler shakily spoke, "Let's clean you up, yeah?"

Spooky nodded, "Okay! Usually Blur does this for me but I guess he's asleep right now, isn't he?"

Tyler nodded, not trusting his voice, and pulled Spooky to his feet. He led him to his bedroom and pulled out his make-shift 'self-harm kit'. He hadn't had to use it in so long, the majority of the plasters were expired.

The clean up was quick, Tyler tried and failed to not pay too much attention to the way the congealed blood felt under the wipe as it clung to Spooky's leg hairs. The fresher blood felt smoother, slick, as the wipe absorbed it. Tyler pulled out a disinfectant wipe.

"This is gonna sting," he weakly warned.

Spooky hummed then hissed when the wipe made contact with the wound.

"You're not as gentle as Blurry," Spooky whined.

"I know, I'm sorry. I don't usually do this," Tyler finished up then gently tapped Spooky's leg, "all done."

"Thanks!" Spooky pulled Tyler into a bone-crushing hug.

Tyler was firmly pressed against Spooky's chest. No- not Spooky's, Josh's. Tyler's cheeks burnt red. Tyler decided that he would deal with his feelings later. He wrestled Spooky into a more comfortable position, letting Spooky get comfortable in his side.

Spooky's breathing evened put a few minutes later. Tyler breathed a sigh of relief.

Tyler didn't sleep that night.

[miel-ji]

Something Changed

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst, happy ending

Paring: Jisung x fem!reader, barista!Jisung, bestie!felix, Seungmin and Hyunjin are also there

Word count: 5.7k

Warnings: partying, drinking, drunk people, mentions of smoking, implied hookups, some language, kiss scene

Summary: You’re going to your first ever party in university (partly because a certain barista invited you). You swear he’s been flirting with you, but maybe he’s just really friendly with everyone?

A/N: This is my very first writing ever. I have no previous experience and tbh my grammar probably isn’t the best but yeah, I just had the urge to create something. I was feeling kind of down today so I used this as an outlet. Bc of that some of the lines might be cringy and it may be just a bit over dramatic but I still think it’s fun. Plus, it was on an iPhone so I have no idea how the formatting will come out lmao If you did read and enjoy it, thank you so much!

You’ve finally done it. You’ve finally gone to a party where the parents have been replaced with alcohol, and you have to admit that you’re a little terrified. Especially since you knew that Jisung was there which was a common factor as to why you’re at the party in the first place and feeling how you are.

Over the course of a couple months, you’d developed a crush on the barista at the local coffee shop who’d specifically invited you to this party. Of course you had to come, not only for Jisung, but it excited you to be able to have one of those classic youthful experiences like going to university parties.

You knew how to have fun, but you also knew your friends would rely on you to be the sober one and keep them out of trouble. Being the only one sober at one of these parties definitely was not going to happen. You also struggled with getting out of your comfort zone evident with the twinges of anxiety stabbing in your gut as you stared at the frat house overflowing with lights, music, and people from your friend, Felix’s car.

Your breathing started to get heavier as you clutched the edges of your seat at the thought of joining the noise, but Felix put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s okay,” his soothing deep voice ceased the buzzing in your ears, and he offered you a comforting smile. “You can do this. And I’ll stay by you for as long as you need.”

“I know,” you groaned and leaned your head back against the headrest. “Thank you, Lix. I’ll try not to keep you from having too much fun.”

“We’re going to have fun no matter what we do. If we join in with the people, or find our own space to party.” Felix laughed a little and wiggled in his seat to mimic the dancing he would do at your mini party.

You laughed along with him feeling a little more relaxed before another voice piped up, “Is Jisung invited to this space?” Seungmin asked, smirking a little and leaning in from the middle backseat to properly insert himself in the conversation.

Your ears started to heat up once Seungmin mentioned his name, and you could feel the butterflies building in your stomach. Felix shot him a playful look before turning back to you, “I’m sure he’d say yes.”

“Oh my god,” you laughed and your hands flew to cover your face. “How about we just go to the party first and then worry about Jisung?”

“Sounds good to me, let’s go!” Seungmin answered before enthusiastically climbing out of the back seat.

~~~

Felix started working at the coffee shop a couple months ago which is how he met Jisung. They became quick friends, and Felix wanted to introduce you, joking that he’d found your ideal type. One day when you were ordering your coffee, Felix was already bringing you up to Jisung in the corner of the shop while cleaning.

Before you knew it, Jisung was calling you over to chat, and you couldn’t help but feel a slight blush creep up on you when you realized Felix was right. He was your ideal type. He had a brilliant smile that left you a bit dazed and unaware of the matching one you now wore. It lit up his whole face, and he radiated a certain charming quality that made you feel like you’ve already been friends for years. He had fluffy black hair that fell over his beautiful deep brown eyes that focused on you like you were the only person present.

“Hey, I’m Jisung. Felix was just telling me about you. You must be… y/n.”

Oh, the way he said your name. Say it again. “Yeah, hi. Felix has told me a bit about you too.” Your face felt warm. Please don’t be blushing.

“Oh, really?” He quirked an eyebrow and looked back at Felix who was already slipping away to the back. “Yo, Felix! Where’re you going?” Felix pretended not to hear as the door swung closed behind him, and Jisung turned back to you laughing. His whole face scrunched up as he laughed which caused his cheeks to look even puffier. “Well if it was in the same way he was talking about you, then I’m sure it was all good things.”

“Felix is such a sweetheart. He just likes to talk a lot apparently. But yes, all good things. I think he really likes working with you.”

He propped his elbows on the high table beside him, and leaned closer to you. “He’s a pretty cool guy. Have you been friends for long?”

You found yourself moving forward a little towards Jisung on the other side of the table. “Yeah, all through university actually.”

“Ah, so you go to the university here? What’s your major?”

“I major in biology. What about you? Do you go there?”

“Yeah, I’m a music major,” he dropped his gaze for a second looking a little shy before asking more about you. “What do you want to do after uni?”

“I wish I was talented enough to be a music major. I was thinking-“ you were cut off before you could finish by Jisung’s boss calling him over to talk.

He gave you an apologetic smile before starting to move away, “it was nice to meet you, y/n.” You really like how he said your name. He walked off to his boss while you said goodbye and waved a little.

~~~

After that first encounter with Jisung, Felix picked up on the fact that you were attracted to him. Each time you came to the coffee shop, Felix immediately asked if you wanted to speak with Jisung before leaving to fetch him for you. You weren’t the best at picking up signs, but was Jisung flirting with you? He was always smiling at you, and he seemed interested in asking you questions about yourself. And the way he spoke kind of low and casual seemed… different.

But he was probably used to charming people in order to get tips when making coffee. Why were you any different? That was until Felix mentioned one day that Jisung had called you pretty. You were having a studying session in your dorm with each of you studying your own subjects separately since Felix was a different major too. He had gotten tired of the textbooks and decided to start talking about things that happened at work when he so casually mentioned it. You were so flattered and giddy in that moment that you maybe had a chance.

As Felix and Jisung became closer, Jisung started to hang out with him outside of class. Felix decided not to tell you this when he invited you to karaoke night at the apartment he was sharing with your other friends Seungmin and Hyunjin. Even though you felt like the only one out of the group who wasn’t gifted musically, they still made it fun. Often they opted to sing in a silly manner anyway, but Seungmin did occasionally belt out a ballad that left you all in awe.

You arrived at the apartment when Jisung was the first to notice waving at you from the couch, “Y/n! How are you?”

You tried to laugh a little to hide your nervousness as you weren’t expecting to see him there. “Jisung, hey! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Hope you don’t mind,” a slight smirk was present as he gazed up at you. You wish you knew him a little more to tell if these flirtatious mannerisms were special or not.

Staying in your comfort zone entailed that you shied away from people and kept to yourself, but you got sick of always having missed opportunities. You’d promised to yourself to take those chances even when anxiety latched onto your shoulders and tried to drag you back into yourself. With Jisung it felt even easier to keep that promise.

So without thinking, you plopped down on the couch next to him, “not at all.” You replied.

He once again leaned in closer to you as he did when you spoke like he was hanging onto every word. That was when the other boys walked in to greet you.

“Y/n, when did you get here?” Felix asked, giving you a smile that said he already knew why you hadn’t tried to find him first like normally. Seungmin and Hyunjin shuffled in the room soon after, both taking seats in front of the couch by your feet.

“Just walked in, actually. Jisung surprised me.”

“Yeah, I invited him because I found out that he can rap,” Jisung’s eyes widened, but the smile never left his face. “He can freestyle too.” Now Jisung’s smile faltered slightly.

“Uh, I think I’ll just stick to the karaoke for now. I’m not that great at freestyle.” He was shaking his head, but his eyes shifted to you once he heard you giggling.

“Aw, but you have to, please?” You asked, amused at the thought.

“Maybe, maybe.”

Felix clapped his hands to get everyone’s attention again, and you saw Hyunjin jump, startled at your feet. “Felix,” He gasped, clutching his heart.

“Sorry, I need everyone to focus to choose a song.” He said while lifting his eyebrows at you.

“No need. I already know,” Seungmin chimed in. He got up from his spot and pulled up the song before handing a microphone to you. “This was the song you were listening to the other day right, y/n?”

“Uh, yeah… why?”

“Because, you’re going to sing it. With Jisung.” He handed another microphone to Jisung.

“Wait, why only us?” You rushed out to ask once the realization set in.

“Because you’re the only one who knows this song, and it’s a faster song. I’m sure Jisung would be the only one able to still keep up without knowing the song since he’s a rapper.” Seungmin shrugged like he didn’t just make up the lamest, most see- through excuse to push you and Jisung together.

Jisung laughed a little, “sounds like a challenge. I like it.”

“But!” Seungmin said, still not finished, “it’s actually a competition, go!”

Without any time to reject what he said, he played the song and the opening was playing through the sound bar. From the many times you’d sang this song, your body instantly reacted and you started. You could hear Jisung struggling to pick up on the rhythm of the song, but once he did, he managed to sing along like he’d heard it as many times as you. The rapping part came up and you stumbled over the words a little bit while Jisung really was in his element. He not only rapped along to the song, but he added his own flavor to the lyrics as well.

Once the song had wrapped up, you had doubled over in laughter from amusement and embarrassment while Felix, Seungmin, and Hyunjin applauded. You turned to look at Jisung who was already looking at you and clapping for you.

“Stop, you clearly won.” You said playfully.

“Yep, Jisung won!” Seungmin declared while Felix and Hyunjin tried to defend you.

“No way, it was all y/n!” Jisung argued.

No one came to an agreement on who actually won, but you continued on with karaoke. Each taking turns or sometimes there’d be a duet or another competition. Seungmin especially loved putting people against each other. You ended the karaoke night by having ditched the microphone to everyone just belting out the lyrics instead. Everyone’s voices were a little raspy and worn out from prior singing, but no one cared. You danced around the living room with your friends and sang along while sounding like a cacophony.

Eventually, the karaoke night shifted into dancing lessons from Felix. He was doing a tiktok dance that caught your attention, so you asked him to teach you. He tried teaching everyone, but Hyunjin groaned and said he’d rather do a real dance. In his dance class, they had been learning Latin dances, specifically cumbia, so he decided to teach that with Felix instead. You were always enthusiastic to learn new things, and while you weren’t a particularly skilled dancer, that didn’t stop you from doing it for fun.

Felix taught Jisung the dance first explaining that he’d be the lead first before showing Jisung to be the lead. Hyunjin did the same with Seungmin which meant you were standing to the side recording each pair trying not to laugh. “Hey, don’t laugh. This is going to be you in a second,” Jisung teased you while trying to get the footwork of the dance. He picked it up relatively quickly, not even needing Felix to teach him the lead before asking to try himself. He wasn’t a dancer like how clearly Felix and Hyunjin were, but he still moved fluidly and light on his feet.

“Very good, now show y/n. I need some water.” Felix panted before walking off. Jisung carded his fingers through his messy hair which just fell back into his eyes as he approached you.

He held out both of his hands for you to take, “I told you. Are you ready?” He asked, lowering his voice. You tried to shake off your nerves as you took his hands and allowed him to lead you through the dance.

He showed you the basic steps before you actually started the dance, but soon you were able to just give in to the music and let him lead you. He’d pull you close into him and then spin you around. You felt more dizzy from being so close to him and holding his hands than you did from the actual spinning. Him engulfing you was intoxicating. Every touch lingered on your skin. The dance was quite fun, and you hadn’t even noticed when the music stopped. He spun you one last time before the dance came to a stop. You gazed into his sparkling eyes and felt everything else had come to a stop as well. There was no denying it now. You had feelings for Han Jisung.

At the realization, you could feel your pulse speed up. You stepped away from Jisung and looked around the room to find your other two friends had left as well. “Wow, did they really just ditch us?” You attempted humor after feeling the shift in the room hoping he didn’t notice the shake in your voice.

“Maybe they went to get water too? Come on, do you want some?” You could swear you saw his hand lift like he was going to reach for you again before he just smiled and headed for the kitchen.

~~~

The next time you saw Jisung would be when he had personally invited you to the party. It was a bit late at night, but Felix and Hyunjin were in desperate need of some coffee. They were working on a routine together and needed to have it perfected for the evaluation in a couple of days, so they turned to you to save them with caffeine. You’d promised to go on a coffee run only if they promised to actually get some rest some time later tonight (more likely early morning). You really didn’t mind since the barista was pretty cute anyway.

As soon as you stepped through the door and the little bell attached to the top rang, Jisung’s head snapped up to see you. Excitement took over his features as he waved you over. “What brings you here at ten o’clock at night?” He asked, leaning across the counter slightly.

“I know how it looks,” you laughed, “but it’s not for me. Felix and Hyunjin have to stay up late tonight and need a little help.”

“Likely excuse…” he gave you a fake suspicious look before his thoughts seemed to shift elsewhere. “Why do you never stay when you get coffee?”

“Jisung, really, it’s not for me-“

“No, I mean like the other times. You always get it to- go… I don’t get to see you much,” he bit his lip slightly. The mood changed faster than you could blink. You hoped that Jisung could feel the tension as well, but he walked away for a moment to start making the coffee. You were a little relieved since it gave you time to process what exactly he meant.

When he came back, he handed you the coffee and rang them up not caring to finish the previous topic. You took your receipt and were reaching for the coffee when he spoke up again, “hey, there’s this party next Friday that you should go to. I mean, Felix was already going, so I’m not sure if you were. But you should. Maybe we can dance again.”

“Sure,” you answered without hesitation. Without remembering why you didn’t go to parties in the first place. Without caring about any of that at the moment since it was Jisung who was asking.

“Okay,” the smile he usually wore around you expanded, and you felt like you just did something right. “It was good to see you, y/n.” He spoke softer.

“I’ll see you soon, Jisung.” You turned on your heel and left the coffee shop excited to tell Felix what had just happened.

~~~

Felix linked his arm with yours once you all filed out of his car. Hyunjin was already inside somewhere since he felt he owed something to the frat. Something about one of the boys complimenting a drawing he was doing by the quad one day, and it lifted his spirits so much he vowed to return the favor. Seungmin, who everyone assumed didn’t like parties, was already many steps in front of you eager to join the crowd. God bless Felix for staying with you because you were already feeling a little shaky.

You crossed into the threshold of the house, and the house was brimming with activity. Drinks, cups, snacks were scattered all along the house, and even though you couldn’t see anyone smoking, the air was hazy with it. There were people dancing on tables, tucked into corners making out, drunkenly yelling at each other, but you couldn’t spot your barista among these people. Seungmin was already headed for the kitchen, and Felix pulled you along which was fine because you definitely were going to need a drink.

“Oh my god! Y/n! You actually came!” Hyunjin slightly pushed Felix off of you to shake your shoulders. “I’m just so happy you’re actually at a party with us.” You laughed as you thought actual tears were pricking up in his eyes. He was clearly already drunk with a light flush across his cheeks.

“Yes, I’m here. I’m here,” you coaxed his hands off of you while you looked around him for a drink.

“Y/n, please do a shot with me. It’ll be sooo fun. Pleaseee,” he turned around and poured four shots of tequila without waiting for you to answer. He thrust the shot into your hand, slightly spilling some of the alcohol on your hand before passing out the rest to Felix and Seungmin. You each clinked your plastic shot glasses and said cheers (Hyunjin being the loudest of all) before dumping the tequila down your throat. You usually took shots well, so you let the alcohol coat your throat before going for another one, “damnnn, y/n isn’t playing tonight!”

You downed the next shot before speaking, “have you seen Jisung?”

“Jisung… Jisung… Jisunggg,” Hyunjin repeated like the name was foreign on his tongue. “Oh, yeah, I think he’s… upstairs… with… some girl,” he said the last part a little quieter as the realization struck him a little too late.

“Oh… well, that’s fine. Just thought he wanted to hang out,” you tried to mask your disappointment as you poured yourself a proper drink this time.

“Y/n, Im sorry, i know-“ Felix placed a hand on your back seeing right through your reaction.

“No, it’s okay. Really. It was just a fun little crush anyway. I didn’t have any real expectations.” You gave them a little smile to really sell the performance and sipped on your drink to avoid their sympathetic looks.

The alcohol finally started taking an effect, warming your body. You could feel your muscles relaxing and your heart get a little lighter from the bombshell dropped on you. This encouraged you to drink a little more before Felix asked you to slow down. “We have all night, y/n. No need to do all the drinking right now. So what do you feel like doing?”

You were really looking forward to dancing with Jisung. You had even continued practicing the dance that Felix had taught you to be able to keep it up longer the next time with him. But maybe it meant more to you than it did to him. You were tired of reading too much into things and decided that you wanted to dance anyway. With or without Jisung. “Let’s dance!”

This earned a whoop from Hyunjin before he eagerly pulled you into the living room where everyone was dancing. Felix and Seungmin followed along, and the next moment, you were all dancing together. Well, Felix was dancing. You and Hyunjin were holding hands, jumping around and shaking your hips while Seungmin had left. Probably embarrassed to be seen with you guys and wanted to find a lay himself.

The dancing continued until you absolutely couldn’t anymore. Hyunjin's hair was drenched in sweat like he had just taken a shower, and the curls from your hair had started to fall. You and Hyunjin leaned against each other giggling and breathing heavily while Felix left to get everyone water. “Hyunjinnie, wait here, please. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“Ew, gross. Go. I’ll tell Felix where you went.”

“Thanks,” you giggled while stumbling your way through the crowd to find the bathroom. You couldn’t find anything not locked downstairs, so you approached the stairs to continue your search on the second floor. You placed your foot on the first step, feeling yourself sober up a little as you remembered what might be occurring up there. You repeated your words from earlier about it being just a fun crush before forcing yourself to continue climbing up the stairs.

Thankfully, the first person you ran into at the top of the stairs was able to direct you to the bathroom at the end of the hall that managed to be unoccupied. Once you finished and were leaving the bathroom, a couple of doors down a girl with a tense face left one of the bedrooms. You didn’t think much of it before you started back for the stairs and heard a familiar voice call out for you, “y/n?” Jisung. Your name sounded like you were hearing it for the first time when he said it. Your first reaction was to turn to greet him before you realized that girl was probably the same one he had disappeared with. You continued walking like you didn’t hear him.

You found Seungmin near the stairs and slung yourself over his shoulder even though you knew he’d be mad. You needed to act like you were busy in a conversation to avoid Jisung. Poor Seungmin had been talking to some girl when you came over, and he turned his head to glare at you. “Y/n, what are you doing?”

“Minnie, you disappeared on us. I thought you wanted to dance?” You moved so you now stood beside him and the girl to be able to face him.

“What are you talking about? I always-“ he didn’t finish when he noticed the figure approaching you out of the corner of his eye. “Of course, I wanted to dance. You just looked like you were having fun with Hyunjin.” He took the hint and engaged in the conversation.

“Hey, Jisung,” the girl Seungmin was talking to acknowledged him, and Seungmin cringed that your plan to ignore him failed.

“Hey, y/n, I’m glad you actually came.” Jisung was only looking at you. You didn’t want to look. You didn’t want to fall for him again. “I hope you saved a dance for me.” He continued once it seemed like you weren’t going to speak up.

“Actually, it was my turn to dance with her,” Seungmin said, noticing how uncomfortable you were next to him.

“Oh… um, actually I wanted to talk to you, y/n… please,” you couldn’t help yourself from glancing at him as he said please, and of course, his doe eyes won.

“Sure, but we need to hurry because I don’t want to keep Seungmin waiting for too long,” You sighed and let Jisung take your wrist. You didn’t want to feel as happy as you did when his fingers brushed your skin.

You didn’t have any right to feel jealous or hurt that Jisung wanted to have a casual hookup at the party. He was a grown up, and he could do what he wanted. You just had to accept the fact that you really were just friends, and all the little flirtations were just innocent. You should’ve known better than to look any further into something when you’d both explicitly called each other friends. It was just a silly little hope that his lingering gazes meant more, that your banter meant more, that you meant more.

Still, your heart leapt into your throat as you let Jisung take you somewhere more private to talk. That was until he led you into the bedroom that he was just in with that other girl. You frustratedly sighed before you noticed that the bed was made up, in fact it looked untouched.

“Are you okay?” Jisung asked as he closed the door. “If you’re uncomfortable, we can go somewhere else. I know how it looks bringing you to the bedroom, but I just wanted somewhere a little quieter to talk.” He moved a little closer to you, but his hands stayed by his side as if to prove that he really meant no funny business.

“Y-yeah, this is okay…” you suddenly felt very nervous, but you wanted to know what Jisung was so eager to tell you. Has he noticed your crush, and he’s here to reject you softly? Or maybe…? But then what was he doing with the other girl?

Jisung’s smile was soft and gentle like he really wanted you to feel at ease. He took a few more steps closer until only a couple of inches separated your bodies. This is when you really took in his appearance. He was wearing a black sleeveless tank top that showed off his arms. He looked strong, and your hands itched to reach out and feel the smooth curves of the muscles. The shirt was tucked into a pair of black leather pants with a belt that showed off his lean body. His hair was no longer in his eyes, but his bangs were swept up in a side part that framed his angelic face. He looked dangerous but safe all at the same time. Tonight he had siren eyes that were locked onto you like he wanted to consume you. He gazed down at you with heavy- lids, but you could see vulnerability in his black eyes. His soft lips parted with the words that were stuck on his tongue.

He leaned a little towards you as he got ready to speak, and you dared to close the space just a little more. You could almost feel his breath ghost across your cheek and his body heat radiate onto you. You felt completely sober now; your head was clear as you were trying to memorize every moment of this. “Y/n, I meant what I said at the coffee shop. I don’t get to see you much, but I want to.”

Your breath hitched, and your eyes widened slightly. Was he really confessing? “Jisung…”

“Y/n, I know you feel something here… I hope you want to see me too.” You felt his hand slide against yours, and your whole body felt like it was on fire. But you needed answers. You jerked your hand away, and Jisung’s face fell a bit, his brow slightly furrowed.

“I- I know you were in here with another girl before me…” you said quietly. You were too scared to shatter the illusion of this moment, but you had to look away. You look down at your shoes that we’re almost touching Jisung’s. That didn’t help in reminding how close you were to having him.

You could see Jisung tense. “I can explain… I- it’s true that I slept with her. But I promise, I didn’t tonight, and I haven’t in a while. Not since that night we danced together. Something changed. I couldn’t sleep with her anymore, and tonight I officially broke it off… It was just casual. I thought I’d always want just casual, but… something changed.”

You finally look up again, and Jisung was dangerous only by name now. He looked addicting, he acted care- free, but now he was completely exposed to you. You knew this must all be new to him and admitting these things to you must have taken a lot of effort. This time you reached out to take his hand. Your palm sliding across his warm skin until you laced your fingers together. He chewed on his bottom lip anxiously as he waited for you to say something. “I do feel it too… something changed for me that night too.”

You breathed out and finally closed the distance between you two. He released his bottom lip that was now plump from how he’d been working at it, and he licked his lips. His eyes flicked down to your lips, and you could feel your body coil in excitement. Please kiss me, you hope your eyes said it all for you. His other hand snaked up your back and left a trail of sparks all the way up to where it came to rest on the nape of your neck. You could feel his touch still on you even after it was long gone. His thumb softly stroked the back of your neck before he pulled you into him. Your lips parted, and he stopped when his lips were just hovering over yours. “Can I…?” He almost whispered. His deep voice caused your eyes to flutter shut as you shook your head yes.

His lips gently pressed against yours as he slowly savored the kiss. Your knees almost buckled underneath you as this is what you’ve wanted to happen for so long. But you willed yourself to keep standing as the kiss grew in intensity. You gently caressed his jaw with your free hand as he started to kiss you harder. You didn’t care if you ran out of breath. You didn’t need air. You needed him. His tongue flicked over your bottom lip, and you slightly whimpered. You cringed in your head, but quickly forgot about it as he sucked on your bottom lip. The fingers in your hair gripped your head just a little as he also quietly groaned. He gently bit your bottom lip and slipped his tongue into your mouth. His tongue slid over yours as he wanted to taste all of you. He continued exploring your mouth until you both absolutely needed to gasp for air.

You stared back at him again as both of your chests heaved. His lips were slick and swollen from your kiss, and it looked as if a slight blush had sprinkled across his cheeks. Your heart warmed at the sight before you leaned up to kiss him again. And again. And again. Never getting over the feeling of his soft lips on yours, and how you could feel how much he wanted you. From the way your lips moved against each other to the hands that remained intertwined at your side to his other hand that didn’t stop exploring over your body.

As you kissed, his hand brushed through your hair, across your jaw, down your shoulder, up your side, over your spine, gripped your hip. He was restless in touching you, and you relished in the feeling of being wanted. Being wanted by him. You weren’t sure how long you had stayed in that moment, kissing, but eventually you came back to your senses. Seungmin was probably wondering why you hadn’t come back, and so was Hyunjin who thought that you were just going to the bathroom. You felt bad since you knew that they were worried about you, but they would understand once you told them why, right?

You looped your arms around Jisung’s neck while both of his hands rested on your hips, “I have to go now…” you pouted.

“Please don’t.” He rested his forehead against yours and mirrored your pout.

“My friends are probably looking for me. But this isn’t over, okay?”

Jisung smirked, “you still want more?”

“Don’t act like you don’t.” You teased and pulled away from him.

He caught your wrist and pulled you back to him, “of course I do, baby.”

Your stomach knotted at the new pet name. You weren’t expecting it so fast, and you had to fight back a smile. “I'm serious, baby. I have to go.”

You giggled when Jisung gaped at you using the pet name back like he didn’t even notice that he had said it first. Taking your opportunity, you pecked his lips and walked to the door. “I’ll… see you at the coffee shop?”

“What? You’re not even going to call or something?” he all but whined.

You giggled and winked, “okay, I’ll call you.” You slipped out of the room to go find your friends

[sea-changed]

hey hi how bout that directors cut commentary on the sources behind your liebgott fic. open ended q would love to hear literally anything abt your process. uhh eyes emoji

<3 <3 This is a completely delightful but also extremely dangerous message to receive; that fic occupied my whole mind for a while there and I have so (too!) many thoughts about it.

A lot of the research I did for this fic I did without knowing I was doing research for it; stuff that ended up in it came from a whole patchwork of sources. Books, fiction and non-! Documentaries! Museum exhibits! TV shows! Movies! My goal for the fic was for it to be as nearly structureless as possible, to capture something of the recursive, time-is-out-of-joint-ness of PTSD; this did not fully succeed but it did allow me to be almost modular in putting it together. I didn't structure it out at all until I was over halfway through the writing process; before that I was just writing section after section in a doc, and so I could incorporate ideas pretty much as I had them, without worrying about how a segment was going to fit into the overall structure. There was no structure! So if it fit the themes, it was allowed in.

The format itself was inspired by a few different things: in rough order of when they entered into the process, they were a) my memory of Slaughterhouse-Five (I didn't actually reread it until I was nearly finished writing, and it had been many years, so it was very much the memory rather than the thing itself.) (At first, semi-jokingly, the summary of the fic was going to be "Joe Liebgott has come unstuck in time." And I still might write that fic, tbh.) b) quigonejinn's Marvel fic, which I also have not reread in many years but had a huge impact on me and how I think about writing and structuring fiction (the dream segments throughout the fic are a complete homage) and c) reading Catch-22. The high of experiencing Heller's ability to control and corral the chaos of his timeline, while letting that chaos be integral and indeed inextricable to the story he's telling, is what launched me back into writing this fic when I had more or less fizzled out on it for a couple of months.

In terms of more concrete sources, of course you're well aware of the reverberating influence of Studs Terkel, both very directly and more nebulously. (I even followed him as a style guide! That's why "army" and "kraut" aren't capitalized.) The PBS documentary GI Jews I found fascinating and valuable in reinforcing some things I'd already been thinking about regarding Liebgott and introducing new facets to my thinking. The part about the USO workers handing out comic books and candybars to returning soldiers (and the soldiers' reactions to that) is something Michael C. C. Adams mentions in The Best War Ever; the section with Skinny's letter was inspired by Ambrose (loath as I am to give him credit for anything).

A lot of other stuff was, as I said above, pretty piecemeal. The scene where he punches the man at the drugstore is from The Best Years of Our Lives; the part about him reading comic books at the drugstore is from an oral history; I got part of my Kaddish transliteration from Angels in America; the part about transferring to a segregated train is from a story my grandma told me; I did a whole deep-dive figuring out where his family might live in San Francisco and discovered that in the early to mid-20th century the Jewish neighborhood and (one of) the Japanese neighborhood(s) were in fact right next to each other, which inspired a couple of lines. &c. &c.

[donghoonie-3]

no but what do you think a sadist/brat tamer!amab!dom would deal with sub!bratty! enha?? 👀

also just read ur I love you hoon fic and I'm currently ascending goodbye- 😵😵

-🐼

Ohh 👀👀 before I get into this...I literally love this idea...especially the sadist/brat tamer akdhsk.

Warnings: minors dni, sadist/brat tamer!amab!dom, sub!bratty!enha, name calling such as slut, spanking, edging, mentions of manhandling, dacryphilia (crying kink), wax play, sex toys (butt plug, cock ring), overstimulation, blindfolds, one mention of hoon saying sir, just reader being mean :3, everything is consensual as always!! Not proof read. Lmk if I missed anything.

Heeseung: He's usually good for you and obeying you but when he's bratty...oh lord he'd try to hold out for so long. I feel like even though he ignores your orders at first a bit of him wants to just be good for you but he also doesn't want to give up yet so he might end up crying from frustration </3 call him a pathetic slut for crying already as you fuck him at a rough pace. Manhandle him. Put him into any position. Use him like a sex doll until he stops being a brat <3. Slap his face or his ass aswell, even his thighs. If he still continues to be a brat then edge him until he's a crying mess and apologising <3.

Jay: another member that I think is usually obedient. I feel like he wouldn't last long tbh lmao. He'd be so easy to break into obedience <3 but something about him makes me personally want to still be rough with him even after he apologises so do that and I bet he'll love it. But when he's still being a brat...this one concept keeps repeating in my head...its a bit specific but...wax play<3. Along with degrading and it'll get him to crack and obey you :3. Pour hot wax on his nipples and down his tummy and also on his thighs, he'll be twitching so much <3 call him dumb for trying to act like a brat as you watch him fall back into bring obedient for you then fuck him nice and rough <3.

Jake: ohhh Jake <33 him being a brat <3. Spank him as a punishment while there's a vibrating butt plug in his ass <3 watching his ass jiggle after each slap 🥴💫. Also make him count each slap!! He'll end up stuttering but he won't stop being a brat so after a couple of slaps (maybe 15...20...) fuck him in doggy <3 and still give his ass a nice slap every now and then and hear him hiss at the pleasurable pain <3. Put a vibrating cock ring on him and overstimulate him until he's a shaking mess who can't do much but just be pliant for you <3. Yous will be at it for hours lmao <3.

Sunghoon: oh he's a tough cookie. He's a little shit, I'll tell you that. He'll take whatever as a punishment tbh he likes it all <3 tie him up to the bed with a pretty pasatel coloured ribbon and put a blindfold over him then edge him for hours before then overstimulate him...but when you overstimulate him, put a vibrating cock ring AND a butt plug and just sit back and watch him move around, bucking hips, arching his back, etc. as he also let's out slutty moans. Ask him if he'll behave after a while and if he still decides to be a brat then switch up the position to having him lying on his front, still tied up and all and fuck him like that, really deep and continue to overstimulate him until he let's out a little "Sorry sir" along with a sniffle because he's starting to cry <3. He'd be so fun to be rough with (all of them would he be fun to he rough with 🤭)

[bereft-of-frogs]

Ok yes, I did a rewatch of the back half last night while waiting for the neighboring nightclub to close (they were really loud last night for some reason, I think they might have partially been outside? it was a nice night. Idk but I wasn’t going to sleep until at least closing time, so I watched a star war. or. 3 star war.)

this got SO long (did you guys know there are character limits on text blocks? WHO KNEW) so I'm cutting it

it’s so funny how immune I am to shipping. Totally cold. The High Republic has got me a couple times: Xiri and Phan-Tu's arranged political marriage that turns to genuine love and shockingly Xylan/Cair. (Why does Xylan drive me so crazy and yet this ship gets me EVERY time it comes up. He's the WORST but I love him and his cute husband and their dog. Argh.) Elzar/Avar is like...background radiation, you can't not but it's not like...I'm that gripped by it if you know what I mean? But yeah, I'm sorry, I tried to watch this latest episode through a more romance focused lens and was just left with....no.

There's arguments about whether or not he was being manipulative or genuinely vulnerable, if you really want to read it as genuine that's cool for you, I'm a bit more on team manipulation, because I was really appreciating on the rewatch just how good he is at being the exact kind of person needed to 'collect people.' Kudos Manny Jacinto, his range and the number of characters he's playing in one is so good. With Mae, he's a kind of bumbling smuggler she can feel like she's bossing around and an ally against their distant master (like she was kind of bossy of Osha when they were kids, and in the way might have felt she and Osha were allied against their moms/the coven/the galaxy). With the Jedi he intends to kill, he relishes in being their boogeyman. (I think that's closest to his true face, tbh, because he doesn't need anything else from them but their deaths.) He pushes the exact right buttons with Sol to hit at his emotional weak points (the raw grief from Jecki's death, what he's been hiding about Brendok), and now with Osha he's giving her what she wanted. Someone on reddit actually really nailed exactly what he was going to offer her: belonging, transparency, a way to connect with powers she's always struggled with that neither the coven nor the Jedi seem to have been able to draw out.

(A Sol 'Night' aside before I get back to the latest episode: there really is a good chunk of time after Osha wakes up where we don't know where both he and Jecki are, and I'm more solid that ever in my headcanon that he was getting her out of the main fight, probably instructing her to apprehend Mae, which yeah is dangerous but not 'Sith' level dangerous, and sit tight or head back to the ship, especially because then the first thing he does when he's back in the fight is order Osha and Yord back to the ship. Checkmate, Qimir, you ass.)

Okay, so, I want to note the exchange where Osha lists off that he's killed Yord and Jecki and he deflects because ow. Two things: 1) he's not even objectively right in what he's saying, 2) huge red flag that he...really doesn't see them as people, and only focuses on what they can *do* for Osha.

1) His response to her bringing up Yord is something like 'yeah and he totally would have turned you in' which is outdated information, my guy. Yes, he did think Osha had killed Indara but...it wasn't an unreasonable conclusion to draw. Osha had motive (if she was bitter Indara advocated for her training to stop), means (training), and opportunity (she had a day off and apparently no alibi, it's a bit clunky writing because she says that to a coworker and not Yord but...we have to go with it), and a witness identified her. Literally, once they figure out she's innocent Yord immediately stands up for her (when he follows her in the Temple), and all of their other interactions have been like...sibling-bickering level disagreements, him saying some pretty insightful stuff about facing her past, and trying to protect her in the forest. Justice for Yord, he was totally reasonable in suspecting Osha and was loyal to the end.

As for Jecki....yeah there's NO way of knowing how that would have gone, Qimir, because you killed her! Literally who knows! This was a teenager with a crush on the cool older girl, it could have fizzled naturally, Jecki could have decided that being a Jedi was more important than her feelings for Osha (what Qimir suggests as an inevitability), or it's totally possible that it DOES grow into something deeper and Jecki decides to leave the Order and they go get married or whatever. We'll literally never know, because he murdered her.

2) Which leads to point two: He literally only points out what they can *do* for Osha which I think glosses over the point that...they were people. It doesn't matter what they could have done to or for Osha, he shouldn't have killed them because they were people. He was the clear aggressor in the attack, they were defending themselves. (And you KNOW he had a lot of fun doing it, him being like 'oh I had to' yeah right bro.) They deserved to live just because...they were people. That's it. The response to all of this is 'that doesn't matter...you still killed them.' And I think that encapsulates the exact difference between Sith and Jedi ideas of love. The Jedi ideal of love is allowing these people to exist and grow outside of your ideas of them and what they can 'do' for you. And the Sith love is about usefulness and possession, not loving them as full people who have deep internal lives and can make their own choices. Idk. I've already seen the inevitable 'he has a point though, the Jedi suck because they don't allow people to feel as deeply as Osha, wow', but...what the Sith offer is not real love. Real love would not dismiss these relationships and the weight of their deaths just because they didn't have 'use' to Osha...

Anyway, I don't know how articulate that was, but no, Qimir did not 'have a point' with that scene any more than he had a point about...pretty much anything else. Boooo

Sol and Mae's back and forth on the ship is so interesting, especially trying to pinpoint the moment Sol figures out it's Mae. I think it is when they are talking in the dark. Basically everything after a certain point in that conversation can be interpreted as him poking at her to see if she'll slip up, or could be interpreted as being also addressed to Mae.

I also saw people saying Sol seemed to be taking a dark turn, and I definitely think the episode was meant to get us to think that (get more into Mae's headspace), but at least with the scene where he takes a minute downstairs to lash out and regain composure is pretty classic emotional regulation, I don't see that as particularly out of line. That fight was a huge emotional blow, it makes sense that he needs to go have a moment to feel those big feelings and he does seem to come back more focused. Where he's starting to make mistakes, is letting his feelings of guilt about Mae and Brendok guide his actions. I think he wants the chance to explain himself to her without the Order getting involved but...it's also not a great move to ignore a command to stay put and then disappear.

Another Problem: Bazil is seeing a lot of this without context. My 'Sol gets framed and that's how the Sith goes unnoticed and that's the solve to the how to kill a Jedi without a weapon' going stronger than ever. I think Bazil is going to be a problem if he survives (and they can find someone else who can talk to him without Yord.)

Also speaking of perfectly reasonable accusations, people are being So Mean about Vernestra and her apprentice but...as much as it's going to be a huge tragedy if/when Sol gets framed, it IS a reasonable accusation. Sol is the only survivor of the massacre and has done a couple of pretty shady things. I agree that Vernestra doesn't seem to fully buy it (and may have additional information), but I think in that scene, she's trying to talk herself out of it and running up against the evidence. I kind of liked the Socratic teaching vibes of that scene. Like she could have just said it herself, she clearly knew, and people are interpreting THAT as manipulation (leading her apprentice into making the accusation so she doesn't have to), but...it seemed like a teaching thing.

I also 'get' all the accusations that Vernestra was Qimir's master (his Jedi master at least, there is NO way they'd make Vernestra Sith, and if they did they'd immediately lose a bunch of the book readers, given the state of the subreddit after the episode aired and the theories started rolling out. Including me, if they make Vernestra a Sith I would immediately stop watching.) but: 1) lol that's my girl, if she was, she was probably right to kick him out of the Order, 2) I hope they leave that for a potential second season. Headland said there's 4-5ish mysteries that remain to be potentially explored later, and it's definitely centered around Qimir, so I'm hoping they just don't address it and I can later choose how invested I get in a second season (too late for this one, I'm already invested).

I am still holding out hope that it's a red herring though. That seems like it would have been the perfect time to drop a heavy accusation to Osha and continue driving a wedge between her and the Jedi, but he really lets that hang. I'm holding out hope that in fact he was 'thrown away' by a Sith master. Like he washed out of the Sith like Osha washed out of the Jedi, which would be a nice parallel for them. Apparently we're still missing a cast member? Someone has been confirmed in the cast and hasn't shown up yet, I'm betting they're the real Sith and they're going to come in like, right at the end as a lead-in to a second season focused more on the Sith side.

these are partially just hopes and dreams so I can dodge them trying to do something #Bad with Vernestra, but I also just think there's too much to wrap up in one final episode (not counting the next since it's probably all flashback) to also get into a whole Qimir backstory. I don't think people are going to...love that.....but it makes sense to me to set up a bridge to the second season, while wrapping up Sol, Osha, and Mae's storyline primarily.

I love immediately going back on everything I say 'I'm not going to post theories' *immediately posts theories*, 'I'm going totally offline' *writes essay-length posts on both reddit and tumblr*. What can I say, I was bored and had a lot of thoughts.

tldr: more power to the shippers, hope this doesn't come off as being an anti but I am not feeling it, Qimir is Not Correct, and I'm really holding out hope the lightwhip was just a Vernestra book easter egg like the hyperspace visions reference (which, btw, people are also misinterpreting rip)

[elkkiel]

While I'm thinking about it, how would you go about introducing someone to Sleep Token? What songs, interviews, lore discussions, etc work as good beginner reading/listening material?

Here's what I'm thinking song-wise:

(in order of what may be best received by someone that's at least listened to some metalcore before):

Alkaline

The Summoning (obviously lol, it's just long for an intro song compared to Alkaline )

Ascensionism

Hypnosis

The Offering

Dark Signs

Telomeres (if that's the vibe you think they'd connect with)

There's a few things I try to consider, especially with people whose tastes I'm unsure about—mostly in terms of sound and style.

Vessel has a gorgeous voice, but it is quite unique compared to a lot of other contemporary singers. Tbh it took me a few listens to finally "get it" (I think that's where some people might hear the peanut butter on the roof of his mouth thing. Especially b/c, for example, after my first ever 30-sec-then-skip listen of The Summoning, I saw a YT short with that joke and it gave me a somewhat neg impression of trying to listen again after that).

That, coupled with the genre-bending aspects of their sound (they're not fully prog metal or metalcore or djent or pop or [other]), I'm just not super sure of how to actually introduce a new listener, without having them write the whole band off because THAT listen of THAT song didn't vibe with them.

Idk, if you read this, feel free to share your thoughts. I really love these guys and they have something so so special going on, I just want to make sure I'm doing them justice when sharing their music.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Dearest rogue in your recs and mentioning the dry humping YEEES!! Dry humping is so underrated and unappreciated, it's so hot and fun I wish there were more books with it

Could you rec some?

Honestly, I think dry humping is in general something people should get more on the program with because society needs to get away from penetration being the only source of pleasure.... and in romance novels it's SUCH a good way to ramp up tension and conversely, because of how society is dumb about it you can have the leads be all "it's not sex it's fine". Like. Okay sure.

Historical:

A Week to Be Wicked by Tessa Dare has a famous scene where the hero (a rake) and the heroine (a nerd) are in a room together on a roadtrip deal and hear the couple in the next room having loud sex, and she's all "gross" and he's like "AU CONTRAIRE SHALL I DO A DEMO" and they get off with a sheet between them. It's one of those "well that escalated quickly, that got really out of hand" scenes, which is what dry humping scenes SHOULD BE.

What I Did for a Duke by Julie Anne Long has a scene where I think she's grinding on him when they're on like a bench outside? And she's a super inexperienced virgin so she's on a "if it feels good go with it" kick and he's much older and is like "oookkaaaaaaay simmer down there".

It Had to Be A Duke by Vivienne Lorret has another "she uses him to get off" dry humping scene, we love to see it.

The Madness of Lord Ian MacKenzie by Jennifer Ashley. Ian introduces Beth to dry jumping by having her get on his thigh in like... his brother's living room I think lmao? When there are people that could come in at any moment? Tbh, after reading somewhere around 7 books in this series, I feel like the MacKenzie brothers just give each other a 30 second delay before walking into any room and if it smells like sex they're just like "FINE. PLEASE CLEAN MY COUCH AT LEAST". They're usually all at Hart's house at some point. His Victorian dry cleaning bill is probably fucking insane.

Grace Callaway often has this, I think--I feel like Olivia and The Masked Duke has a scene.

I could be wrong about this but I thiiiink The Lady Gets Lucky by Joanna Shupe has dry humping. It's a sex lessons book, and they often do; I need to reread it.

Contemporary:

The Professional by Kresley Cole has a scene where the hero and heroine start grinding while he's like on top of her in a cornfield lmao. I think this is their first experience together. He's trying to haul her off to Russia to her mob boss father and is all "I CAN'T TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE" but he does touch the merchandise a LOT and she touches back.

The Roommate by Rosie Danan. The setup is that the hero and heroine are roommates, she finds out he's a well-known porn star, she's super repressed and they get an idea to work with other adult film people to create like, sex and sexual health resources for people, and there's a sex position they're trying to like demo together when they're alone to attempt to explain it to people, and it turns into a friend-on-friend impetuous dry hump.

Mafia Madman by Mila Finelli has an excellent scene where Enzo finds Gia chilling Platonically with his brother in the hot tub (a hot tub, where, I might add, Enzo's brothers would just FUCK GIRLS SIDE BY SIDE) and is super ticked about it so he gets in the hot tub and is like "okay babe if you're so hard up for it just hop on my lap and take it for a spin". Which she does. Shamefully lmao.

Paranormal:

Lothaire by Kresley Cole. In general, I think several IAD books have dry humping, but this one is SO FAMOUS and the best dry humping scene I've ever read. Lothaire has Ellie captive because he's, you know, evil, and she's decided to offer him sexual favors in order to get the upper hand (after sagely noticing that he's HARD UP). She's a virgin... but she's not without experience lol, so when he's all "fine blow me" she's like "actually.... I'm an EXPERT at dry humping, and I was FAMOUS in my high school for that" and he's like "lmao sure" but within minutes she has him DYING. She also gets mad at him after and finds him having an existential crisis about it in the shower and throws his cum-soaked jeans at him like "HAVE FUN WASHING THESE ASSHOLE" which I adore. Ellie is my fucking favorite, there are some God tier heroines I will defend to the death and she's one of them.

And in their "own damn thang" castegory....

I mean, all of Sierra Simone's books probably have dry humping at some point, but standouts include:

American Queen: MMF. Ash (President Sexy) makes Greer (his girlfriend at the time) hump his leg to climax while Embry (Vice President Sad Horny) watches because he can Sense The Vibe. And Embry and Greer are all "nooooooooooo :(((" about it while also being very "if you say so :)))))".

Salt Kiss: MMF. After Mark (daddy dom) sends Tristan (bodyguard sub/mild switch?) to guard Isolde (knife sub) on her journey to marry Mark, Tristan and Isolde, who are both very fucked up about Mark but also wildly into each other, have a sparring session that turns into a MAGNIFICENT dry humping scene. I reread it this morning, actually, and it's.... a lot.

A Lesson in Thorns: MMF, FF. A very special scene where during a game of spin the bottle one person makes another person spank the third person, all fully clothed, and perhaps there is some dry humping and perhaps some delicious embarrassment occurs.

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

Only Friends Backstories and Secrets

I don't do this usually but this show is making me insane so here it is, an Only Friends Theory.

My personal theory is that every main character (not sure if this applies to our lesbians yet, too early too tell) has 1 solo backstory detail and at least 1 or 2 relationship backstory detail to uncover. We already know some of them, but some are still a mystery. I have some theories. The biggest is the Mew-Boston one.

I'll go in order

Top

Solo Backstory = Childhood trauma (almost died in a fire) + Insomnia (Can't sleep alone) + Possible drug problem??

Top-Boston = They fucked once, obviously

Top-Sand = This one is still a mystery but there is something there, drug delear? Ex hook-up? Top hired used to hire him to sleep with him (like in the same bed not for sex - or for sex we don't know). For now there is too many possibilities.

Mew

Solo Backstory = I have no idea, but there is something. There is a dark spark in that man eyes, I don't know what it means, but it's there.

Mew-Boston = Leaving my theory for Boston Section.

Not sure tbh maybe Mew-Ray = How they meet? Why does Ray love him?

Ray

Solo Backstory = His mom died, at first I thought it was suicide, but after reading @bengiyo stray thoughts I realized it was probably alchool poising.

This one is another sure. Mew-Ray probably (see above). Maybe also with Boston, they have not intereacted directly or alone yet, idk.

Sand

Solo Backstory = Based on the writer twitter response on the car accident theory my best guess is that someone he loved was in car accident because they were either drunk driving themeself or hit by a drunk driver.

Sand-Nick = When did they meet? Why? Are they university friends? Please tell me someone else is intrigued by how First and Mark played that scene, it literally sent sparks in my brain. I want to see more of them.

Sand-Top = Like stated above in Top section, there is definately something going on there. They do not like each other.

Nick

Solo Backstory = Something involving his parents, I think Nick lied about that store being a family business. I think he was living in a hole of an appartment because he was kicked out by his parents. Also is the Camboy theory correct? Is he one already or he is going to become one?

Nick-Sand = GIVE ME MOREEEEEEE!!!!!!

Nick-Top = Maybe, if Nick and Sand are friends he might have around when that thing between Sand and Top went down, and in the preview we saw him look at that picture with Boston and Top. Maybe it's not just jealousy but recognition on his face.

BONUS = Was anyone else reminded of Together With Me Side couple?? I had to look up the names: Farm and Bright the older Player Doctor and The University Student. Farm was an innocent boy and ended the series heartbroken and becoming just like the player and the player ended up lonely and regretting it. (We will ignore s2 for this parrallel).

Boston

This is my biggest theory section. It ties a bit into the Together with Me idea and with Parrelles in general.

Solo Backstory (+ possible reasons he seems particulary weird about Mew) = I am not sure if Jojo did something like this before because my memory sucks, but Boston could be the kind of character that had a bad expierience with sex and a realtionship and that turn into only wanting sex and thinking he is only good for sex.

What if he was someone's Nick? What if Mew and Boston knew each other first, either in High School or first year of University. What if they both liked the same boy. And they were both young and inexpierienced. What if that boy tried to get with Mew first. But Mew didn't sleep with him. And what if that boy then went to Boston. Young, wide-eyes Boston who fell for it. What if they had a sex relationship, it went on for months. What if that boy asked for sexual things, more and more, I am reminded of that Together with Me scene with Doctor Bright almost convincing Farm to an orgy and him leaving (at least I think he left before it could start). What if it was something like that except Boston didn't leave.

And then what if after all of it, the boy dumped him. Because well he couldn't bring Boston to his parents could he? He is a slut now? A sex thing, not boyfriend material, too easy. What if he compared him to Mew something like "Now your friend Mew, he is the kind of guy would make a great boyfriend, he has his virtue intact"

For now it's just a theory, something to explain Boston obsession with Mew's virginity and that wanting to basically win Top over Mew. I also love the idea of Boston being someone's Nick before and that Together With Me parrallel would not leave my brain. Anyway that's it.