#but surely you'd check to make sure the all the food is alright???
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WARNING !! : age-gap (23 and 51), fingering, pet names, cursing, smut ofc lolz, cum eating, jiraiya being a warning himself. lemme know if i missed anything!
Summary : jiraiya has never had any issues when it comes to women (that he likes to think of), until he meets you. is it possible to get someone as stubborn as you into bed with him?
A/N : eeeee!!! i'm so happy to finally write for my love jiraiya! we want a part 2?? (àč>âĄ<àč)
womanizer!jiraiya who stops at a random town during his long and exhausting journey to finally take a break. he deserves a good nights rest, savory food, and of course finding a pretty prize to take back to his hotel room and please.
womanizer!jiraiya who the very next day, comes across you admiring the flowers at a small nextdoor floral shop. even from afar he can make out the features of your face that make you an absolutely breathtaking sight.
womanizer!jiraiya who decides to be brave and approach you, expecting nothing less than what he usually receives. and when he finally gets close enough to smell your perfume (which only makes him want you more once he gets whiff), he's stuttering back on his words from how nervous you seem to make him with just your looks alone. "what brings a lovely lady like you around here?"
womanizer!jiraiya who is beyond shocked when you only shoot him a mean glare and walk away without so much as a second glance. and don't get him wrong, he hates to see you go, but damn does he love to watch you walk away.
womanizer!jiraiya who finds that women normally come to him like bees drawn to honey. he's one of the legendary sannin after all, a heroic man like him usually suits well with the ladies. so how come a gorgeous woman such as yourself seem to find no attraction to him?
womanizer!jiraiya who wonders if you just like the chasing game. that's fineâ he doesn't mind playing the part if it's what gets you going.
womanizer!jiraiya who unintentionally happens to appear wherever shop you look around at next, offering to pay for anything you planned on getting all in agreement you gave him one chance. and if not that, at the very least a conversation.
womanizer!jiraiya who soon begins to realize that perhaps you just don't like him. he'd done nothing but show you kindness, consideration, and respect. so why did you insist on giving him zero effort in return for his?
womanizer!jiraiya who finally accepts his fate and heads back to his hotel room, dumpedâ but still looking forward to one last night of rest before he's back on the road by morning.
womanizer!jiraiya who on his walk there hears small commotion coming from a nearby alleyway that catches his attention. it isn't until he peaks around the corner to find you surrounded by a couple of punks does he interfere.
womanizer!jiraiya who interrupts their harassment with a couple of basic jutsu that sends low life's like them running in less than 5 minutes. although the pale look on your face is one he'd never thought he'd see, considering how unbothered you seemed to be earlier.
womanizer!jiraiya who checks on you with a warm smile, despite you turning him down harshly the whole day. "don't even worry about it, sweetheart!" he promises, "you sure you're alright?"
womanizer!jiraiya who watches as you bow out of thanks with your hands tucked tightly at your sides, face flushed with embarrassment as you assure him you were okay. and disgustingly enough, he can't help but wonder how you'd look bent over a desk with your legs spread wide, begging for him to fill you.
womanizer!jiraiya who is just about to turn around and leave before you're pulling him back by his wrist. "let me repay you, misterâ uh.." you stumble for his name, biting your bottom lip as if internally cursing yourself for how stupid you may appear by now.
womanizer!jiraiya who only smirks at your struggle, finding this new side of you rather intriguing. "jiraiya, kiddo. you can call me jiraiya." and when you do, he curses himself for how good it sounds coming from those pretty lips of yours.
womanizer!jiraiya who can hardly contain his excitement when you ask him to take you back to wherever he's staying so you can uphold your offer. no matter how cool he attempts to play it off as, his entire body gets hot at the imagination of what might happen.
womanizer!jiraiya who you shortly end up making out with in his room like theres no tomorrow. tongues exploring each others mouth sloppily, though neither of you complain when the feeling is euphoric.
womanizer!jiraiya who has his lips and body glued to yours as he lays you onto the bed, mattress dipping from the sudden weight. when he separates his mouth from yours and pulls back, the sight of you perfectly spread out for him has his cock aching.
womanizer!jiraiya who doesn't waste any time pulling your panties down and plunging a thick finger into your soaked cunt. he watches as you throw your head back in pleasure, lips parting open to release a sharp gasp. "so you really are into me, huh? surely you're wet enough to take a little more."
womanizer!jiraiya who stands by his word, adding in another finger to stretch your walls out. you moan his name aloud when he pumps his digits mercilessly. he could see with your already fucked-out face, that you'd reach your orgasm sooner than expected.
womanizer!jiraiya who takes your breathless whimpers as a sign and leans down to kiss you roughly, fingers never halting.
womanizer!jiraiya who has you caged beneath him on top of the bed, large chest rising and falling in sync with yours. the sound of your pussy squelching with each push is enough to send him over the rails as well.
womanizer!jiraiya who curls his fingers just in time, eyes opening to watch the beautiful scrunched-up face you make reaching your high. "there we goâ shit, baby." he grunts, slowing down his pace. "good fucking girl."
womanizer!jiraiya who pulls his fingers out with your cum dripping off, quickly pushing them into his mouth to taste you. he closes his eyes and moans at how surprisingly sweet you are, not wasting a single drop as he cleans off your juices.
womanizer!jiraiya who think it's only fair if you see how delicious you are for yourself. pulling his fingers out of his mouth with a small "pop!", he grins before looking at you. "you wanna taste of both of us? c'mon, open up for me, pretty."
womanizer!jiraiya who presses his wet fingers to the plush of your lips, slowly pushing through as your warm mouth welcomes him happily. he analyzes how your glossy eyes look at him dazed, accepting him to fully control your body.
womanizer!jiraiya who groans and clenches his jaw when your tongue roams his two digits, watching with fascination as you lick up all that remains.
womanizer!jiraiya who feels his cock twitch with need in his pants, begging for any sort of friction. he grabs your hand and guides it onto his bulge, letting you fully grasp what he has in store for you. "you know what you do to me, kid?" his gaze meets with yours, and he smirks. "i'm dying to fuck you right now."
#destinedtowrite#naruto fanfiction#naruto#jiraiya#legendary sannin#pervy sage#jiraiya x reader#jiraya#naruto characters#fem reader#x reader#x y/n#jiraiya x you#jiraiya smut#naruto smut#naruto shippuden#boruto#naruto fandom#sannin x reader#pervy sage x reader#short fiction#short story#part 2??
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Chat. I think the Scooby Snacks crackers I just ate were expired...
I mean think it just made them stale but hdgd
I ate two things of it. Oof.
But I hadn't ate for two days and I was too shaky to get up and get yogurt or make something so fgsgd
I thought cause we just got it from a food bank it be fine, I guess they don't check dates on their stuff???
Going have to go through our stuff just in case, cause now I have trust issues
#mine#pain rambles#vent#food vent#scooby snacks#expired food#it expired in april to be exact#i assume they get a lot of stuff from donations#but surely you'd check to make sure the all the food is alright???#im hoping i don't get sick from it#I'm feeling bad now but can't tell if it's cause i hadn't eaten for two days or the snacks#i just wanted some dang scooby snacks :(#salvation army#feck it im exposing them on that#if weren't desperate wouldn't even go there#sorry for the rant#but feck. i wanted my scooby snacks >:(
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"LET ME PAY YOU!"
Pairing(s): kyojuro rengoku x reader
Synopsis: how kyojuro met his civilian wife
Genre: fluff
Warning(s): n/a
Kao's Notes: just something to put out there while i work on requests in the meantime :) enjoy! <3
"EXCUSE ME, MISS!"
"OH MY Gâ!" *BANG* "OW!"
you hit the top of your head on the bottom shelf of your stall as a loud voice rang through the night. you ran a popular food stall in the small, lovely town you call home. people loved coming by your food stall for the service, the food, and for a chance to talk with a beautiful lady. each day, you decided to try a new recipe, and everyone was eager to see what you'd be serving every day.
"forgive me," the loud voice called again. "it was not my intention to startle you!"
"i-it's alright." rubbing the crown of your head with a slight pout, you rose to look at the owner of said voice. "iâumâwasn't expecting many people to come by this late, so you caught me by surprise."
taking in the man's appearance, you quickly gathered he was a demon slayer. the distinct design of his haori, the nichirin blade at his hip, and the obvious uniform was a dead giveaway.
you smiled, "would you like something to eat while you're here? i'm making gyu kushi(beef skewers) on top of rice, along with some mochi tonight. you'd be the final person i'm serving!"
the man's smile nearly blinded you, "yes! i would appreciate that very much!"
"great!" his smile was so contagious. you couldn't help but to deliver one as well. "how many orders would you like?"
"that depends," he stated loudly, excitedly slamming his hands on the counter and smiling at you. "how many are you willing to make?!" that's...the first time you've received that response.
"o-oh...uh..." you looked beneath your stall again. "well, i could make the rest of my inventory for you..." you lifted your head to look at him with a nervous laugh. "although, it's a considerably large amount of food, sir."
he laughed, "if you are willing to make it, i am willing to eat it! and no need to call me, sir! i am rengoku kyojuro!" you couldn't stop yourself from laughing along.
"then i'll be happy to make it for you, rengoku-san!"
kyojuro watched you gather the ingredients and quickly get to work on prepping his food. it was clear this was like second nature to you. you worked so diligently and moved with unwavering certainty.
"so," you began as you continued cooking but kept your gaze on kyojuro. this caused the hashira to look at you. "what brings you by this late?"
"a mission," he stated proudly, his smile never leaving. "it is completed, but i always stop by to check on towns nearby!"
"well, that's nice of you," you stated before finishing his first plate of food and handing it to him. "here, have a taste before i make the rest."
he loudly thanked you before placing the beef skewer between his teeth, pulling one of the chunks of meat off with his teeth.
"TASTY!" another bite. "TASTY!" a bite of rice. "TASTY!" a bite of mochi. "TASTY!"
you clapped your hands in delight, overjoyed that the hashira found your food so tasteful.
"so, everything tastes okay? would you still like to have the rest, rengoku-san?" you asked, although you're sure you already knew the answer.
"yes! i would love the rest!" he began fishing around in his pocket. "how much would it be?!"
"oh no," you quickly shook your head and quickly began preparing the rest of the food with a content smile. "i never charge the slayers that pass through. it's the least i can do for you all."
"please!" he slammed a pouch of coins onto the counter, causing you to shriek at the loud noise. he leaned forward, eyes boring into you with conviction. "ALLOW ME TO PAY YOU!"
"i-it's no trouble, really!" you jumped back from the close proximity. he only leaned in closer.
"THIS AMOUNT OF FOOD WOULD SURELY MAKE A GREAT PROFIT FOR YOU!! LET ME PAY!!!"
"b-but, the sales i've made today are more than enough already!!!"
"TAKE MY MONEY!"
"i don't need to!!!"
you two continued back and forth like this as you finished cooking the remainder of his food, packaging them nicely in cute boxes, which only fueled his desire to pay you. as you had given him the last box, he beckoned you to him.
"if you will not let me pay," he placed his free hand on his hip. "then allow me to escort you home!"
placing a hand on your chin, you paused to mull it over. it was pretty late, and you did live on the other side of the town. even if it was small, it would grant enough time for a demon to stake its claim on you.
"alright," you finalized with a greatful nod. "sounds fair!"
on the way, you both engaged in a quiet, lovely conversation. topics ranging from your cooking, his work as a slayer(at least the parts he could tell you), or your childhood, the atmosphere around you was peaceful. now, the current subject of the conversation was family.
"yes, you're right," you respond with a smile as rengoku concluded a story about his little brother. "it can be difficult to care for little siblings. especially if the parent is...more or less present." you cringed at your lack of better term, but kyojuro didn't mind at all. "my parents, unfortunately, fell victim to a demon, so i understand."
"very much so, and i am sorry to hear that! my condolences to you!" he responded with a solemn nod before asking his next question. "i take it you have a sibling then?"
"mhm," you nodded with delight as you drew nearer to your house. "i am the eldest of seven."
"SEVEN?!" he immediately fished the pouch of coins back out before shoving it in your direction. "SUCH A LARGE FAMILY! NOW YOU REALLY MUST TAKE MY PAYMENT!!!"
"i told you already," you pushed it back toward him in defiance. "i don't need it!" he tossed the pouch towards you, leaving you no choice but to catch it. "hey! take it back!" you tried to hand the coin pouch back to him.
"my apologies," he exclaimed after using his other hand to hold the food as well, even though he didn't need to. his smile never faltered as he blatantly ignored your attempts to return his money. "but my hands are full! i can not hold anything else!"
"but you were carrying it one-handed this whole time! you can justâ"
"my hands are full!"
"butâ"
"i can not carRY ANYMORE!"
"renâ"
"IT IS A PERFECTLY LEGITIMATE REASON AS TO WHY YOU MUST KEEP IT!"
you gave up.
kyojuroâ1
y/nâ0
upon reaching your house, you turned face kyojuro and gave him a polite bow.
"thank you for walking me back, rengoku-san," you stood straight. "you really didn't have to...nor did you have to pay me."
"it was no trouble at all," he smiled down at you. "and please, call me kyojuro."
you opened the door, and entered the doorway to your home chorus of "NII-SAN" called out to you. fondly shaking your head at your siblings(who were supposed to be in bed by now), you turned back to the hashira and returned his smile.
"alright, well," you placed a gentle hand on one of your little brother's heads, who'd been tugging on your shirt to get your attention, and replied in a hushed voice. "goodnight, kyojuro. have a lovely evening, and please travel safely."
he visibly brightened once he heard his name fall from your lips, and a gentle smile was bestowed upon you.
"goodnight to you as well, and thank you."
as you closed the door, kyojuro happily went on his way but stopped. he couldn't believe he forgot such an important piece of information.
oh well, he'll simply have to find his way back to you because he never got your name.
#demon slayer#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x y/n#kyojuro rengoku#kyojuro fluff#kyojuro rengoku x reader#rengoku kyojuro#rengoku x reader#rengoku x you#rengoku kyojuro x reader#rengoku#why am i still awake#rengoku fluff#rengoku x y/n#demon slayer fluff#demon slayer kyojuro#demon slayer rengoku#kny#âĄrori.writes
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Training for Two
Chapter 3. New Trails
Masterlist
Summary: You and Riley take the beaten path to defeat boredom. Simon realizes that the seed of his new obsession has been planted.
Warnings: mild cursing, obsessive behavior
Simon had never told you how long he'd be gone - which was fine, your flat was only a twenty-minute drive from his home, should you need to do laundry or get more soap. You had some freelancing logo-design work you could focus on in your downtime, and Simon had been gracious enough to leave a note on the coffee table with the wifi password. Truth be told, you imagined this would feel like a holiday: no more shitty bosses. You were your own boss, here. You could make your own schedule, as long as you made time for Riley.
You soon discovered, after moving into Ghost's house, that it was very much not a vacation. The interior of his home was so barren that it made you feel like you had been sent to an asylum. On your first day there, you managed to get a bit of freelance work done; after that, you tried watching the telly, but you couldn't drown the heavy restlessness in the back of your mind.
You decided to phone a friend.
"What's Riley like?" Leslie said through the phone, which was tucked under your ear.
"Military dog." You replied. You were lying on the floor next to Riley, stroking her fur as her head rested on your stomach. "So proper, I've never seen anything like it. You know- when I made breakfast today, I dropped some food on the linoleum- she didn't bat an eye. Girl just watched."
"That's amazing... you know Donald would have run to it like it was the first meal he'd been fed in years."
You laughed, making Riley's head bounce on your abdomen. "Mum has got to stop feeding them real food..."
"What about the client?" Leslie said, changing the subject. "Simon, was it? What's he like?"
"Honestly?" You began, scratching between Riley's ears. "A decent guy, don't get me wrong - but bland. Gruff. His apartment is, too."
"Just like ya mum always said." She snickered. "Can I see?"
You sighed. "Nah, I never checked if it was ok to bring people over. Not sure if he'd appreciate me giving you a tour. But I'll ask next time if you can visit."
"That's fair..." You heard her shuffling around on the other end of the line. "Well listen babes, I should get back to work. Got five left on my lunch break."
You groaned at the prospect of having to be alone in Simon's barren home again. "Alright... still on for this Thursday?"
"You know it! Nina's coming too."
You grimaced. "Whoop-tee-doo..."
"Oh, c'mon, I'll make sure she's civil. Love ya."
"She'd better be. Love you!"
The call ended with a click, and you let the phone slide from your shoulder with a sigh. You stared at the ceiling, running through what you could possibly do. You'd already had a shower at your flat before coming here, you'd done plenty of work...
Riley tilted her head up to look at you, sensing your frustration. You looked back down at her.
"What d'you and Simon do all day?" You asked.
She sighed and looked away.
Maybe it was time for a walk.
"Alright, Riley!" You said, pocketing your phone and sitting up. She scrambled up at the sudden movement; her eyes followed your every move as you stood, her stare expectant and excited.
"Fancy a walk?" You asked.
She whined and yapped, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
You chuckled. "C'mon, then - before you and I both start going insane."
On your way to the closet to fetch her leash, she had nearly knocked you down to beat you there. You huffed, leaning down to grab your shoes and tug them on. She sat (im)patiently and watched, her tail slapping against the wooden floor.
"Alright, alright..." You laughed, grabbing her leash and latching it onto her harness. She obediently trotted to the front door and sat, waiting for you. You opened the door and stepped outside, confused when the leash tugged in your hand. You looked back inside and saw that Riley hadn't moved from her seat on the floor. She looked at you, ears forward and eyes eager as she waited for... something.
You looked at her, puzzled. "What's wrong, girl?"
She whined, pointing one foot up and thumping her tail against the floor.
Oh, right. Military dog.
"Okay, Riley." You said clearly, and she happily trotted out the door. You chuckled, locking the deadbolt behind you and beginning the much needed walk. She stuck right by your side, never passing you nor falling behind.
For the kind of gruff, admittedly shady man that Simon was, you noticed that he lived in a pretty nice area. If you told your mum where he lived, she'd blow a cap out of jealousy - the houses were neatly lined down the street, each one with a driveway and a small garden bed underneath the living room windows. Simon's was noticeably bare - Christ, even his grass was thinner than the other neighbors', how does one manage that?
You eyed his empty garden bed as you passed it. You wondered if he would let you plant a few things... just to liven up the drabness. A couple of Hostas, maybe some African Violets... you knew he wouldn't want too much colour, but he definitely needed something to brighten his home. Currently, it stuck out like a sore thumb against the other houses. Not to mention, it would give you something to slice through the boredom of staying here.
Eventually, the sidewalk led to the edge of a small patch of woods. A bridge stretched over the creek, which then led to a longer, winding path through the trees. You came to a halt, reading the sign next to the trail.
"Po-wee-hee-co park..." You mumbled and Riley stared at you with her tongue hanging from the side of her mouth. "Poeheko Park? You ever been here?"
She looked between you and the trail, sniffing the air. She licked her lips and whined.
"Suppose not, Simon's only ever dragged you around the block a few times, huh?"
She eyed the trail warily, but you could see her eyes brimming with eagerness and interest. You chuckled, reigning in her leash and starting over the bridge. "Time for an adventure!"
Simon sat stoically on the heli, eyes fixed on the wall across from him. His palms rested on his thighs, fingers splayed. He appeared calm and collected, focused on the mission that Priced had debriefed not too long ago.
Except, the mission couldn't have been further from his mind. He was thinking about you and Riley. We're you giving her enough attention? That was a dumb question; clearly you knew how much attention a dog needed. You'd done this before... but had you ever worked with a dog that had certain needs and medications? You never mentioned it during the interview, and he didn't remember to ask. What if you couldn't see the signs when Riley's pain was flaring up? What if you had forgotten that she needed pain medication?
He thought about texting you - but he quickly shut the thought down. He'd reserved texting for emergencies only, and he knew you were good at your job. There wasn't a moment of your life you hadn't spent around dogs, of course you would take perfect care of Riley.
"Honin' in, LT?" Soap's voice echoed through the coms as he took the seat opposite from Simon. He was relaxed, as if this was just another Friday for him - well, Simon supposed, it was.
"Always." Simon replied gruffly, focusing back on the mission at hand. He cleared his throat and flexed his fingers, trying to keep a cool composure.
"How's Riley doin'?" Soap asked. "Know I jus' seen 'er a few days ago, but- ye finally cave n' get someone to pet sit?"
Simon grunted. "'Course. Not gonna leave 'er alone that long, it'd be torture."
"Who'd ye get?"
"What's it to you?"
"Secret service? Ye snag one of the Royal Guards fer the job?"
"Jog on, Soap." Simon warned with a serious look, and Soap raised his hands in defense.
He couldn't tell Johnny about you. A fierce, possessive feeling in his chest told him not to. He knew Johnny had a thing for young, pretty things like you, and he refused to let you fall victim to his desires. In fact, he hated the thought of it.
But- who was he? Why was he being so protective over someone he barely knew? You were an adult, perfectly capable of making your own decisions. Why should Simon cockblock you and Johnny? So what if he wanted to shag you?
Mentally, he shook his head. No. Never. He'd lock you in his house if it meant keeping Jonny away from you. Even if Simon wasn't anything more than your client, he wasn't going to allow Johnny to get close to you. It would be too weird. You're his, after all.
...
Fuck.
He sighed and adjusted his position in his seat. You and Johnny didn't even know each other, for Christ's sake. He was overthinking all of this. You'd probably never even meet his team, why would you need to? You only ever have reason to spend time in his house, not on base. You just watch Riley, make breakfast in his kitchen, sleep on his couch, maybe his bed, if you're with the dog... using his bathroom, his shower...
He scowled at himself. Maybe hiring you was a huge mistake. You were too distracting.
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#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost#simon ghost riley#cod fanfiction#cod mw3#cod mw2#call of duty#cod#cod x reader
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pssss pssss imagine riding our beloved Izu after a long day of work and noisy students while we hold him by his tie đ
You got it nonnie/nonnette, can't believe hims a mf teacher. That shit pisses me offđ
This is really js porn w little to no plot đ„°đđœ
You were in your kitchen making sure dinner was ready before your husband's arrival. You hummed to a little tune in your head as you put it in the slow cooker, letting it do it's own thing. Just as you were about to do whatever caught your attention the door swings open and a heavy sigh leaves the cause of it; your husband, izuku midoriya.
He looks tired and spent, you can only imagine what those kids must've put him through. The thought actually made you giggle but you'd keep that to yourself for now. You meet him at the door and wrap your arms around his larger figure, he hums into your warmth and absentmindedly buries his face in the crook of your neck.
Izukus arms snaked around your waist and pulled you closer, as close as possible. He didn't want to be away from you he wanted to assure you were as close as possible at all times. The hug went on for a while, just swaying and slow breathing coming from the both of you as you stood in your hallway.
Finally, izuku pulled away and was ready to face you. You look up to him with those same eyes he could always look so deep into without a doubt, the same eyes he loves to see on him, his body. A halfhearted smile found it's way onto his face as he leered down at you. You gave him a much wider smile and a soft little peck on his lips. They were soft and moist in some way, like he'd been wearing chapstick as he does.
You wrapped your arms around his thick neck and stare up at him lovingly, izuku just couldn't look away from you. Your smile, how his hands were on your body. It wasn't even sexual, he was just holding you by your waist and pulling you as close as possible. The intimacy you two shared was so romantic.
Izuku had gotten quite taller since his highschool years, he wasn't the tallest, no,, but he sure was bigger than you. He never stopped working out despite losing OFA, doing his little routine that he did to maintain OFA makes him still feel something he wished he could've done. It's hard to explain and if you asked him to he probably wouldn't but you completely understand.
"needâa lie down."
"yeah? you alright my love?"
He nods and lets go of you shuffling his heavy feet to your shared bedroom and soon enough you hear the shower start. the second he thought he was out of your view his held assed smile left his face. It hurt your heart that it felt like he was just portraying something for you, like he wasn't happy with you. It just ticked you off.
You give the food one last check to assure it'd be good for the next 30 minutes to an hour before rushing into the room after your forest green haired husband. You expected to see him lying down on the bed when you walked in, a confused look on your face until you heard the shower running. you quickly grab clothes and quietly twist the bathrooms door nob. Izuku doesn't really lock doors around your house and you like that, it's like sometimes he wants you to follow behind him. Regardless he knows you will, you always do.
You silently shut the door and set your clothes next to his towel, you shimmy your clothes off and quickly yank the curtains open only for him to slowly open his eyes and look at you, his wide eyes relaxed quite a lot as he had his head lowered underneath the spray of the shower. You watched his wet hair slightly curl and water droplets drip from the ends. Water kind of slid down his face, he wiped his face with his hand before looking you up and down and nodding towards the shower.
You give a slight tug of your lips upwards before getting inside, he turned you around so you were under the constant pressure of the shower your hair was in a bun and he fished his fingers through your locs and took the hair tie out, you felt the water run down your back and prickle and prod against your scalp. It was a soothing motion that you enjoyed feeling.
Izuku watched you closely with lidded eyes taking in the sight of you, water dripping and sliding down your chest and legs, it was kind of nice seeing you like this. Your eyes were shut and you sighed deeply through your nose before wrapping your arms around his wet shoulders once more.
Upon opening your eyes you see him staring directly at you, there was nothing behind his face, he was quite literally expressionless. It was kind of scary to see him like this, you could never tell what he was thinking. You gulp lightly as you look him in the eyes while he looks else where, his eyes were glued to your chest and the way your nipples budded up and how water dropped down from them.
Izuku trails his hands up the sides of your body making you jolt slightly, he moves in closer to your face, you can feel the way his hot breath fans over you. His hands find themselves at the sides of your chest he gently trickles his finger tips across the top part of your boobs, he drags them down and soon begins tweaking with your hardened nipples. Your eyes flutter as he stares directly into your eyes while gently twisting the hard nubs in-between his finger tips. izuku flicks them aswell causing you to jump and let a little squeak out, he loved that reaction.
Finally, he placed his lips onto yours inhaling deeply and shakily as he opens his mouth in the kiss, izuku let's out a muffled grunt while you accidently push your body against his, leaning into his touch. He then lets go of your nipples and pulled you closer to him by your hips, he ravished your body and tugs as your ass gently fondling and groping the plush fat behind you.
Izuku groans and hoists one of your thighs up he holds you close and assured that you don't slip or fall, squeezing at your thighs while his other hand held on closely to your ass. The kiss was sloppy and spit filled, your tongues swapping each others saliva smoothly. You let out little mewls while he absolutely devoured you, his tongue licked and swiped across yours and your lips occasionally, he was kind of an expert at this he'd never admit it thought he doesn't want you to see him as disgusting for knowing what he's doing despite the two do you being married.
His cock had quickly gotten hard against your pelvis and he grinded down into you, you could feel his sensitive top poking against you and you couldn't tell if it was his sticky pre or the shower wettening that spot. A muffled moan had came out once you grinded against up into him, his eyes rolled slightly and he felt weak in the knees.
Izuku broke the kiss panting heavily as he looked down at you, gently and slowly rocking his hips into you, his mouth was open while he caught his breath his eyes fluttered slightly while your bodies smashed together. Your thigh was still up on him while he grinded against you, your held on tightly to his shoulders, your nails digging into the tense flesh underneath your fingertips.
A choked out moan left his lips as he bit down hard on nothing, his jaw tensing and untensing every time he bit down. Izuku slightly grinded his teeth together, the friction was making his sensitive cock twitch against you, with no thought in mind he pulled away slightly just enough so he could see where the two of you nearly met. You were exactly getting anything out of his teenish grinding but it was hot to see your man aching and yearning for something. He seen as your slick kind of coated his upper thigh, a scoffs leaving him as he looked you deep in the eyes. His eyes were so dark and different than normal. Despite not being able to do what he's always wanted izuku had some pretty bright eyes, not just by the color but when he smiled or seen something he liked it was excited about they just seemed to glow. As of now they were dark, and deep with lust. It was always sexy to see him like this, moments before he loses control.
With no thought in mind izuku reached in between the little gap that was present between the two of you. Gently wrapping his thick fingers around his fat fucking cock. He pumped and stroked it lightly tugging at the heavy meat in his veiny hand. You didn't realize what he was doing until a grunt had been muffled by him crushing his teeth together, you tilted your head slightly confused, this time his eyes roll back and he bites his lip letting out a dramatic moan. A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked back down at you.
Your eyes slowly moved down to where he was touching himself, tugging and gripping his cock he seemed to slightly speed up the pace while you looked it's like he got a kick out of you watching him touch his leaky cock. He slowed down again and rubbed his thumb across his spitting cock head, there was so much precum that escaped him. A whine left his lips as he looked down before looking back to you, your eyes glued on this dirty scene being played in front of you.
Izuku gently tapped his thumb against the slit letting you see how sticky the tip was and just how much precum was escaping, it slid down his cock and he angled it up so you could see it. It was so dirty, the fact he was just so willing to do this in front of you..
He had kept your thigh up while he stroked himself, he could tell you were getting tired from standing on one leg given how shaky you were beginning to be. He hummed at this before letting your leg down, you wobbled slightly as he pulled you into a quick kiss. Once pulled away he gently trailed his thumb up to your mouth and sat it on your lip, the precum still smeared across the pad of his thumb, he looked at you while your eyes looked between his thumb and his eyes. You batted your lashes before opening your mouth with your tongue stuck out.
He grinned and chuckled as he placed it inside and teased his thumb inside before letting you close your lips around it. You sucked intensely at his thumb and he felt your tongue lick and clean the pad of his thumb. It was enticing to say the least. The sucking reminded him of how you relentlessly sucked on his cock. You would always try so hard to get his fat veiny girth into your mouth, your lips cracking and burning. The thought alone had his cock twitch.
Izuku pulled his thumb out and grabbed ahold of both sides of your waist and quickly turned you around, he bent you over slightly and had you press your hands against the shower tiles, they were cold and unpleasant, you were praying that he didn't try to push your face or chest against it..
He looked down at your ass and gently had his large hands fondle and gently caressed them. Even when doing such dirty things izuku loved admiring your body before doing anything. He watched as you slightly leaned your ass back into his touch, the warm weight of his hands burning your ass. He smirked and quickly slapped the fat of your ass then gripped it harshly making you scream out and drop your head down. The harsh slap stung against your skin, you could still feel the way it left a burning sensation.
He parted your thighs trying to get past the fat of them and stuck his cock in between them. Izuku made sure his cock was directly underneath your twitching cunt, he felt the way your slick coated him. Without him telling you, you closed your thighs around his cock earning a hum from him.
With nothing left to be said or done he thrusted into your heat and pulled back, he pushed his cock against your slit once more before pulling back again. His motions were slow and smooth. Until they weren't, the feeling of your hot cunt against his cock and coating him in your arousal was just so fucking sexy to him. He thrusted harshly and gripped your ass hard.
Little mewls and whines left your mouth while his cock head kissed your clit time and time again. Each thrust his tip was met flush with your clit and rubbed it in the best way. He threw his head back and let the shower water fall onto his chest, the hot water sliding down his chest and going down to where his cock was.
Izuku groaned aloud sending shivers down your spine. He was always vocal in some way and the way his voice got deeper and lighter depending on what you were doing and how good he was feeling was just so sexy to you. You could tell he was getting close he leaned against you and laid his cheek on your back, his eyes squeezed shut as he hurriedly thrusted his hips against your ass, you pushed your ass back against him with threw off his movements, the unsteady rhythm angered him causing izuku to slap your ass again, not just once bht three times in the same spot. the intense pain that inflicted your skin made you cry out loudly, he then grabbed you by the mouth and shoved his fingers inside of your mouth, pulling at the side of your cheek.
"god.. fucking slut. shitâ!"
Izuku was never this rough but for some reason he really needed this, and as much as you were against pain you wanted him to feel good in his oen way, if this was how then so be it.
Within a moment izukus hips slowed down and he let it a gutteral moan, the octave in his voice dropped and his head leaned back, he didn't know if it was the shower water or tears trickling down his cheeks but either way he was happy and in pure bliss. He hummed and shut his eyes before lying his head against your back and kissing up and down it as he pulled his cock from between your thighs.
"don't move."
He instructed as he crouched down, the shower water getting into his hair and slightly blocking his vision but regardless, he watched as his thick sticky gooey cum painted your thighs, there was just so much it started slowly sliding down. He hummed in content, satisfied with what he sees. His eyes then shoot to your sticky and throbbing cunt, how visibly it craved to be stuffed full, how he knows it yearns to have something buried inside if it and create a home inside. He seen that some of his cum also painted your slit, he was sure some of his cum probably even got inside. No matter though, he'd stuff you full sooner or later.
You looked so delicious to him. However being under his watchful gaze was embarrassing, you knew what he was doing and you didn't like it. Being watched wasn't exactly something you'd say you liked, whether it be by your husband or a complete stranger it still felt weird.
As you thought to yourself you were soon snapped out of your thoughts as he licked a long stripe from your clit to your fluttery hole. You shivered and let out a shaky moan, izuku hummed tasting his cum mixed with your seeping arousal. Izuku for some odd reason never had a problem with eating his own cum, especially if it was previously fucked inside if you.
Izuku stuck his tongue in your hole and let you grind back into his face, you whipped an arm around and grabbed ahold of his hair, a fistful at that. You pushed his head further into your cunt and grinded back into his face, his nose brushing against your clit and making a pitchy moan leave you. Your eyes rolled and your mind was going numb, no thoughts behind your expression.
He completely lets you take all the power in this moment. Letting you guide him, his face, his tongue to where you wanted him most. he greedily ate you like you were the most divine meal ever, and to him you were.
Moments later you were cumming on his tongue and nose, everywhere on his face and he obediently slurped it all up. Drinking down all of your arousal and cum, your slick painting his face. You let go of his hair and sighed deeply, your face was flushed against the no longer cold tiles of the shower, he looked up to you and seen your fucked out expression and smiled lovingly. He got up and pulled you into him, finally letting you two get a proper shower in.
You dried off in the bathroom and put your clothes on and did your nightly after shower routine as he lazily draped his shower over his crotch and left to grab clothes, because like the adorable idiot he was he didn't grab any. Once you were done you smiled at yourself in the mirror and turned the light off and went to go check the food.
"I mean I was using that but alright."
Izuku yells to you given you'd left the room, as you turn off the food you giggle to yourself and let the food cool down walking back to your room. You see as your bedside lamp was now on and izuku still couldn't find any clothes just wearing some all might boxers. These were the kind that you preferred, his face wasn't slapped on it, it just had his initials on the waistband. You hummed at the geeky boy in front of you and jumped into bed.
"dinners ready if you want to eat hun",
Izuku hums, letting you know that he acknowledged you and your words.
"are you gonna?"
You watched him closely, your eyes looking at his muscular body and took in the delicious sight. Soon though your eyes trailed down to his ass and thighs taking in how good he looked. It never came up before but if he asked you to you would definitely eat his ass. It was a thought you had anytime you looked at his ass and how perfect he was. It always made you laugh how he loved slapping it touching your ass but whenever you slapped his ass hed get all flustered and give you some kind of warning look.
His words fell into deaf ears as you were blind sighted by his rear, he turned around to see you staring his head slightly turns to the side like a puppy, his wide eyes searching your face for an answer. He blinked a couple of times before finally connecting the dots and seeing the way your eyes were glued, literally to his ass. He blushed and looked at you with a disappointed look.
Izuku turned around and leaned back against the dresser and cleared his thought, only then once he took away the delicious, mouth watering sight did you look up to him.
"huh?"
"were you seriously looking at my ass."
Izuku says all blushy and angry with you, you try to hold in your laugh covering your mouth with both of your hands. He sighs in disapproval and shakes his head walking towards you. You couldn't help but to let your laugh escape, your cheeks had started hurting from how much you watched to laugh and were smiling.
You fell back onto the bed laughing and squirming as he climbed onto you and pinned you down to the bed. You looked up to him with happy eyes, tears of joy threatened to fall. Izuku had a stupid smile on his face that made you smile even harder. He leaned down and kissed your lips passionately, you wrapped your arms around him as his hands roamed your body, he picked you up and flipped you both over in one swift motion, never breaking the kiss as he does so.
You pulled away and smiled at him, he looked up to you with loving eyes. There was so much said in your silence. You never needed to speak for either of you to know that you loved each other. You were just so comfortable with each other that the silence was never awkward.
Izukus happy expression soon changed. You seen as his beautiful eyes were taken over by something you'd seen before, quite recently infact, lust. You seen him bite his lip as he looked rather excited. Within a second you felt his chubby cock poking against you. Your mouth falls open as he just chuckled mischievously.
"you've got to be joking me."
"come on baby, you know what to do. You're my good girl, always doing what I need you to, hm.",
He muttered random things as he lifted his hips slightly up into you, you sighed in annoyance at the pervert underneath you. God he was so persuasive, he knew exactly what to do to get to you.
"this is the last time."
He simply chuckled and pulled your sleep shorts down along with your underwear. He tugged his cock out of his boxers and was quick to line himself up with you. Without a second thought he thrusted up into you. You both sigh and close your eyes. He leans his head back and holds onto your thighs.
You close your eyes and lean your head down, expecting him to thrust up into you like he did before. Instead you just felt his fat cock get bigger inside of you and slowly plug you deeper, it twitched inside of you making you shake at the sensitivity.
You both open your eyes and look at each other in confusion. Izuku looks you up and down and gently taps your thighs before placing his hands behind his head, lying on them, a smile becoming present on his face. You finally understand what he was doing.
"I'm sorry you want me to ride you? I thought you were going to fuck me.."
"why would I do that? You're straddling my lap. It takes more energy to try nâ do that when I can simply let you ride me to your heart's content. I know you want to."
Izuku blinks up at you with a smile and those precious puppy dog eyes, nodding his head towards you telling you to move. Your scoff and shake your head, you couldn't believe you let him talk you into riding him. You didn't want to do the work you wanted him to, he was the bastard that was horny all the time. Fucking perv.
With that being said you lift yourself up and slam yourself back down onto his cock, a groan instantly leaving him as his eyes roll up before coming back down to you. You bounce on his cock and squeeze your eyes shut, roughly throwing yourself up and down onto his thick cock that couldn't stand on its own, he was just so thick and heavy that the sheer weight of it made it flop down against him. Luckily he was buried inside of you, so now you could feel the thickness of him, that stretch that you fucked yourself past still being present. He knew you felt it and bit his lip thinking about it. He wanted you to fuck yourself dumb and him along with you.
"yeah.. just like that baby. God.."
Izukus hands went to your waist as he helps you bounce more on his cock. He needed so much more than you were giving him and you knew it. Why didn't he just do the work himself then. The thought alone had you frustrated, it made you start grinding down in him, jumling his cock and occasionally hopping on it.
"ohhh~ f- fuck yeah..~ ngh!â"
Izuku moaned like a slut. He wasn't ashamed either, he'd let you hear all of his pathetic mewly moans. How they'd end in whines and whimpers. The way you squeezed around his cock, your velvety walls contracting around his cock. Squeezing his shape deep into you, remembering his size weight and sheer girth.
He loved when your cunt made room for his thick cock, how it needed a while to get used to the stretch. How it let him bury his cock inside the warmth of it all, it was starting to burn. His cock was so slippery from your slick starting to coat him, he just moaned and rolled his eyes back helping you hop up and down on his cock.
"ahh~ fuck! fuck yesâ god, o-.. oh my god. I'm.. I'm cum- ngh~ gnaâ.. fuckâ "
He couldn't even get his sentence out before he started spitting his seed inside of you, long thick ropes of cum coating your walls. It started overflowing, per usge, he always came alot, there was always just so much it ended up spilling out, it dripped down his cock and onto his pelvis as you kept riding him, milking his cock for every last drop he could give.
Izuku whined in overstimulation, eyes watering and mouth hung open as he let his whines escape freely. He choked on his moans, hiccuping and groaning at the intense overstimulation. His cock was softening and still you ride his cock until you came, squeezing it tightly inside with a butt to your lip muffling you moan. You exhale deeply and quickly pull his cock and and lie on top of him, the cum that escaped you dropped out and onto his flaccid limp cock and his boxers.
Izuku was too tired to do anything luckily tomorrow was Saturday so he didn't need to worry much about anything he could spend the next two days resting in bed being lazy with you. The thought alone had his eyes fluttering shut, he held you tight and pulled the cover on top of you two. Letting slumber land take you both whole.
AN: this took like 2 n a half hours. Like actually crying. I enjoyed writing this alot!! I like that I'm getting back into the groove of writing!! It makes me really happy! I really want to write for HQ but I have NO thoughts at all whatsoever. Like nothing will come to mind đ
#cvnts-post#mha#mha x reader#boku no hero academia#deku x reader#izuku x reader#cvnts-reqs#izuku is so girlie pop#deku smut#deku x reader smut#mha smut#izuku#izuku midoriya#izuku midoriya smut#izuku midoriya x reader#izuku midoriya x reader smut#midoriya#midoriya izuku x reader smut#midoriya izuku#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku smut#midoriya smut#teacher izuku#teacher izuku pisses me off
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Swept Away | Chapter 4: Tropical Heat
Pairing: sugardaddy!Joel Miller x f!reader
Chapter Summary: The first day on Glenn's yacht is much more dramatic than you originally expect.
Chapter Warnings: language, slow burn, sugar daddy/baby vibes, food and alcohol consumption, intoxication, reader gets drunk and snippy, mentions of past infidelity, flirting, sexual tension, jealousy, one tiny daddy reference, nausea/vomiting, joel gets mean but he makes up for it (he sucks at feelings)
WC: 8.5K
Series Masterlist
"I'm so excited for tomorrow. Glenn's yacht is supposed to be massive. Like, full crew, multiple levels. The type you'd usually charter but he actually owns it." Zoe sighed dreamily next to you at the hotel salon. You were listening but your eyes were pinned on your nails, watching as the technician managed to make your hands look like they were out of a catalogue in less than an hour.
"Yeah, that - it sounds really cool," you replied. "Should be fun. Joel said there's some tiny islands we might check out or something."
Zoe nodded excitedly. "Zach said there's one called Monu Island. We're supposed to have dinner there the first night."
"Dinner? How?" you asked. She looked at you like you had two heads.
"The crew brings the stuff to shore for us and cooks?" she said as if she were explaining how to ride a bike. Shit. You probably should have known something like that if you were pretending to be in the upper, upper class.
"Oh, yeah, I knew that," you said with a nervous laugh, "I meant how are they going to get us off that yacht? The more I keep hearing about it, the harder it's going to be to pull me away from it."
Zoe giggled and you inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.
"Maybe you can convince Joel buy one for yourselves. He can certainly afford it," she told you with a wink.
"Yeah, and Zach can't?"
She shrugged, smile still stretched across her face but you could see something shifting in her eyes. "Can I tell you something?"
You nodded and leaned a little closer.
"I don't think Zach's doing very well. Business-wise."
Your eyes widened, encouraging her to continue.
"I don't know for sure, but I have overheard a few conversations and I get the feeling if he doesn't win this bid, his hotel chain is done for."
"Oh, no," you breathed, brows crinkling with concern. "Zoe, I'm so sorry."
She gave you a confused look but quickly recovered. "Oh, thanks. It's no big deal, you know. I'll be just fine."
What did that mean? Zoe would be just fine if Zach went bankrupt? How?
You wanted to press her further but you could tell the door closed. She was looking down at her freshly manicured nails with a huge smile then held them up to your face and wiggled them around.
"What do you think?"
She had picked a white nail polish with a faint hint of sparkle. The color did look very nice against her tanned skin and you told her so right when your technician released your hands, announcing you were all set. Pulling your fingers from the blue light, you admired them up close.
"Alright, I'll admit it. I questioned your color choice before but damn, that looks so pretty on you," Zoe said enviously as she examined your hot pink nails with a glitter top coat.
"Thanks," you gushed, hardly able to tear your eyes away after you left the salon and headed for the elevators. You could count on one hand how many times you ever got your nails done in the past and it was always for a special occasion: prom, a wedding... maybe once when someone got you a gift certificate for Christmas. It felt like such a treat and it gave you a nice little confidence boost.
You waved to Zoe when she got off on her floor, vowing to see each other in the morning bright and early on the dock, then rode the elevator the rest of the way to your floor.
It was difficult to contain your excitement when you entered the room, but you remained quiet because you heard Joel's voice carrying from the living room. He had someone on speaker who was discussing budgets and employee turnover so you snuck past him and headed towards your room to pack.
How much does one person need for two days? Not a lot, probably. But you weren't very clear on the dress code. Was this going to be casual? You already noticed if Glenn organizes the parties, the vibe is much more relaxed but Mary tends to make it a little more formal when she handles things.
After packing a swimsuit, two coverups, one set of pajamas (which you agonized over when you remembered you would be sharing a bed with Joel), and three different options for daytime wear, you went back out into the living room to see if Joel would know what you should pack for the evenings.
"Joel?" you asked softly when you spotted him sitting quietly on the couch with his eyes closed. He tilted his head to the side and slowly opened his eyes. "Are you okay?" you asked. He nodded and stood with a groan.
"Just tired," he said right when his laptop chirped with two new emails. He began to walk towards the table but you were closer. You bravely closed his laptop with two fingers and he froze.
"C'mon, what're you doin'?" he asked, taking another step, but you shook your head and leaned forward, resting your weight on the arm that was holding his computer closed.
"You need to take a break," you told him firmly. He scowled and crossed his arms.
"I'll be takin' a break when we're on the damn yacht."
"Taking a break on the weekend is a given. You work around the clock, Joel, you need to slow down."
"I don't got time for this," he told you with a shake of his head. "I'm busy, I got a company to run."
"Well that's just too bad because I have dresses to try on and I need help picking ones to pack," you told him just as sternly. His eyes flickered up to yours and you could practically see the gears in his head turning. "I think that's far more important than some emails, don't you think?"
His mouth twitched and you could see his face soften and you knew you had him.
"Fine. Ten minutes," he relented. You grinned and skipped off to your room, and only when your back was turned did he allow himself to smile.
Joel sat patiently on your bed while you tried on the handful of dresses you grabbed and put in the bathroom, waltzing back into your room every few minutes with a new one to show him.
"Darlin', I already told you. You look good in all of these."
"Yeah, but which ones are your favorites?" you pressed, doing a little twirl so he could see the back of the pink dress you were currently wearing. "And what will we be doing? Like, how formal are these evenings going to be?"
He shook his head, his eyes glued to the curve of your back when you spun around again. "Not that formal. One night we'll be on the beach, the other night just on the deck."
You nodded and tapped your chin with your finger. Any of the dresses you had would do now that he told you it wasn't that formal, but you were pushing twenty minutes of no laptop or cell phone useage and you really wanted him to take a longer break from work, so you had an idea.
"Okay, just one more. I'll be right back," you told him, scurrying off to the bathroom to slip into a deep purple dress that just so happened to be the shortest one in the bunch by a mile. You weren't sure what Joel's assistant was thinking buying you something so short and tight. When you looked in the mirror, the fabric clung to your curves, leaving very little to the imagination with only two thin spaghetti straps to hold it up.
Obviously it was too inappropriate to wear on the yacht, but that didn't stop you from taking a deep, nervous breath and strolling back into your bedroom with what you hoped was an air of innocence.
He was leaning back on his elbows when you walked in, eyes drifting around your room and taking note of the items you kept on your nightstand, but when he saw what you were wearing he straightened right up.
"What do you think?" you asked as you twirled, but that time you made sure to take it slow.
"It's, uh..." his throat when dry when he saw how perfectly the dress hugged your ass and he had to clear his throat. "Nice," he finally managed to say. You fought back a smirk when you heard the strain in his voice.
"Yeah?" you asked, looking down at the dress. "I don't know, the material is a little rough."
Joel swallowed when you ran your hands slowly down the fabric, your palms traversing over your soft curves, making his fingers twitch.
As if you read his mind, you looked back up at him with a little pout and asked, "you wanna feel?"
Without hesitation, he spread his knees and beckoned you over with two fingers. You grinned and stepped forward, stopping when you stood between his legs, his mouth mere inches away from your stomach.
You could feel his hot breath through the dress and you had to suppress a tingle down your spine, but when he lifted his hands to cup the backs of your bare thighs, you couldn't hide your reaction that time. You made a little noise in the back of your throat when his fingers squeezed your legs and he looked up at you, eyes so dark and filled with lust that it took your breath away.
"This okay?"
"Mhmm," you hummed, your hands coming up to his shoulders so you could balance yourself. His fingers inched up your legs slowly, tentatively exploring without giving into his deepest desires. But fuck... if he wanted to, you would have let him.
He slid his hands up the sides of your thighs, his fingers catching a bit on the hem of your dress before reaching your hips. He caressed the material there with both hands, each of you still pretending as if the fabric of the dress was any concern.
"See what I mean?" you whispered. Slowly, he nodded, but his eyes remained pinned on your body, his gaze drinking in every inch of you, committing you to memory.
"Fuck, you look good," he murmured as if it pained him, letting the facade slip for a moment. Your heart fluttered in your chest and you began to play with the curls on the back of his head. He tilted his chin to look up at you, his lips parted and his cheeks a little flushed. Nothing else had happened since that afternoon in the ocean when he kissed you other than leaving you completely confused about the nature of your relationship. But in that moment, you couldn't care less. All you wanted was to feel his lips on yours again, to feel that spark of electricity over your skin, so you leaned down a fraction, your gaze flicking from his eyes to his lips, making your intention crystal clear.
Just as you were about to brush your lips against his, he pulled his head away and dropped his hands. Immediately, you straightened back up, embarrassment warming your face while you tried to figure out what you did wrong.
"We can't," was all he said, eyes drifting to look everywhere except at you. You nodded and quickly stepped back, shame coursing through your veins.
"I'm sorry," you said, your voice cracking a bit. You cleared your throat and repeated yourself then hurried out of the room to get changed.
Joel called your name, asking you to come back, but you were too ashamed. Instead, you slipped back into the bathroom and practically ripped the purple dress off out of anger, vowing to tuck it way back into the depths of your closet so you wouldn't have to look at it the entire rest of the trip.
By the following morning, you forced yourself to brush off the awkwardness with Joel from the day before. You had three more weeks to spend with him pretending to be his fianceé and you refused to let one uncomfortable situation dictate the rest of your time there. So you plastered on a big smile for him the next morning when you exited your room with your bags in each hand. You could tell he wasn't sure how to react. He tiptoed lightly around you, making sure he didn't even accidentally touch you as you both moved around the hotel room collecting everything you would need.
In the elevator ride down to the lobby, he tried to bring it up but you cut him off before he could even finish his sentence.
"Did you remember your seasick medication?"
He floundered for a moment, scanning your face for any sign of bitterness, but he found none. If you wanted to pretend it never happened, that was fine by him.
"Yeah," he finally said, and you nodded before turning to stare straight ahead at the closed elevator doors.
He didn't try to mention it again.
When you arrived at the dock with the sun just beginning to peek over the water, casting the ocean in a beautiful golden hue, you felt your mood instantly improve. You were in fucking paradise and nothing was going to ruin that for you.
The crew was loading up your belongings and you were chatting with Glenn and Mary about how excited you were when Glenn's phone pinged in his hand.
He tugged his glasses out of his shirt pocket so he could read the text and he let out a disappointed groan.
"Ian's got food poisoning, Harry says," he told the three of you, "they can't make it. That's a damn shame."
"Oh, that's terrible. I hope it's not too serious," Mary said sympathetically.
You heard the telltale sound of heels tapping on the wooden planks behind you and you turned around to see the rest of the couples, along with Trevor and Brooks, arriving. The crew hurried past to assist with their bags and for the first time all day, Joel wrapped an arm around your waist. Your muscles stiffened at first and he felt it. Guilt washed over him before he cleared his throat and lifted his other hand in greeting. Zoe spotted you and waved excitedly, her energy just as infectious in the early morning hours.
When you spotted Tammy a few yards behind Zoe, your smile faltered a bit. You still hadn't brought up what you learned to Joel. Did you even have a right to know about his past with Tammy? You thought you did given how it could blow your cover, but maybe it was just gossip.
Still, it got under your skin.
When Zoe greeted you with a hug, you caught the look of distaste Tammy shot to Lynne before turning her head to gaze out over the ocean. It couldn't just be in your head at this point. There was definitely something going on with these women that you were not privy to yet.
Joel took your hand and lead you aboard the yacht, once again feeling the discomfort at his touch radiating off you.
He handled everything all wrong, he knew that almost immediately. It was all his fault. He was weak that day in the ocean and couldn't stop himself from kissing you, and now you were confused and hurt, but there was a reason he didn't want a traditional sugar baby agreement. He needed to keep his eye on the prize and stay focused, not standing there pretending to admire the lavish sitting room Glenn was showing everyone while wondering if you were wearing the lingerie he purchased for you.
How the hell did you manage to weave your way into his psyche so fast?
After the tour of the yacht, which was luxurious and had three levels, you were shown your private rooms, all of which included your own bathroom and a window so you could admire the sea from bed.
Joel ticked his jaw to the side as he looked around while you began to unpack a few of your things.
"I can sleep on the floor," he said. Your back was to him but he saw your hands freeze inside your bag before you took a deep breath and continued to pull out your toiletries.
"Don't be ridiculous. We can manage two nights in the same bed."
Even though you couldn't see him, he nodded anyway. He should just say it. Say he's sorry. Sorry for all of it. Sorry for leading you on, sorry for hurting your feelings, sorry for staring at your legs and wondering what they would feel like wrapped around his head.
The guests slowly made their way into the indoor sitting area once they settled in. If there wasn't an entire wall made of glass so you could look out the back of the yacht, you would have thought you were in another mansion. The carpet was plush and white under your feet. When you saw how pristine it was, you almost wanted to ask if you should take your sandals off, but instead you took Joel's lead and left them on.
There were three long, white couches that formed a U shape around a large, cherry wood coffee table. Above your heads the ceiling was dotted and lined with soft lights, giving the whole room a very warm and inviting glow. Abstract art hung on the walls but there wasn't much space: any wall that bordered the sea was made of glass. And across from the couches, built up against an interior wall was a bar that appeared to be stocked with every liquor and mixer known to man.
The crew had poured glasses of champagne and mimosas and left them on the bar. They were standing at attention against the wall near the kitchen, waiting to jump into action if need be.
Joel picked up two mimosas and handed you one. You nearly declined when you noted the early hour but decided to take it anyway with a quiet thanks.
"Meant to tell you, I like your nails," Joel said, pointing to your fingers wrapped around your glass. You gave him a small smile before looking back down at your glittery, hot pink nails.
"Thanks," you said, wishing you felt as excited about them as you were yesterday.
Glenn clapped his hands loudly, commanding the attention of the room. He let everyone know breakfast would be served on the dining room on the deck in ten minutes and encouraged people to grab a drink before heading out.
The moment the glass doors were opened, your senses were overcome with fresh, sea-salt air and an occasional fine mist that was being vented above the partially enclosed area.
Everyone found a seat around the square table that was already set with beautiful white plates trimmed in gold with matching bowls and mugs. When the crew began to place trays of fruit, baked goods, meats, eggs, and yogurt on the table, you leaned into Joel and tapped his shoulder.
"Did you take your medicine?" you whispered.
He smiled and put his glass down so he could fish the bottle of pills from his pocket.
"Thank you. That woulda been ugly," he joked, making you giggle before reaching for the tray of fruit. His chest warmed at the sound, pleased to see you smiling again but damn near giddy that he was the one to make you laugh.
You weren't terribly hungry but you nibbled at some fruit and yogurt, knowing you should at least try to eat something if you were expected to keep up with the way the group drank.
After about an hour at the table where you nursed the same mimosa Joel had given you earlier, Glenn stood up and suggested the men go to the top floor for cigars and poker.
"Looks like it's just us, ladies," Mary said gleefully when all the men began to place their cloth napkins on the table and, collecting their own drinks, stood to follow Glenn up the stairs.
"You good?" Joel asked softly before he left. You quickly nodded and shooed him off. You were still feeling rather vulnerable from being shot down the day before but you could feel yourself coming around. Maybe some distance and distraction would help.
If only you knew what the day had in store.
By noon the sun was blazing, the heat seared your skin as you laid out on your lounge chair with the other women. You could smell the faint hint of cigar smoke and hear the laughter from the men up above, but you couldn't see them from where you were. Occasionally you would hear Joel's voice, his southern twang becoming deeper and louder the more he drank and you found yourself smiling.
You were at least three drinks deep and you felt completely relaxed. All your concerns drifted away, getting twisted in the breeze and floating over the water. You even managed to find Tammy somewhat tolerable as you listened to her tell the group about her teenage son and a girl he was dating.
Maybe Zoe was wrong. Maybe it was just a rumor. Tammy seemed to be happy and fulfilled. She had what appeared to be a very strong marriage with Scott and they had two boys. By all accounts, they appeared to be a very happy family.
"I think I'm gonna take a break in the shade," Zoe announced, fanning herself while she picked up her things.
"Okay, dear. There should be chilled bottles of water out but if not, just ask the bartender. He can get you whatever you need," Mary told her while she adjusted her enormous sun hat.
"I think I'll join you," you said, suddenly feeling like your mouth was coated in sand. You couldn't even remember drinking any water since the hotel that morning.
The three other women waved politely when you stood and followed Zoe back inside where the air conditioning embraced you like an old friend.
"Oh, god, that feels nice," you groaned. The room was empty except for one bartender who was taking stock of the liquor with a clipboard. He quickly set it aside when Zoe approached and asked for two waters. You picked a couch and set your things down next to you with a sigh, then thanked Zoe when she handed you a frosted glass bottle of water.
Both of you practically chugged your respective drinks in under a minute, then giggled when you realized how crazy you must have looked.
"We gotta pace ourselves," Zoe said with a grin and a shake of her head. "It's gonna be a long night. Zach said we aren't supposed to reach the island til six, and with the time it will take for the crew to set up and cook, we'll be eating dinner late."
"That means we'll be getting back here even later," you said, finishing her thought.
She nodded and tossed her hair over her shoulder, her eyes a little glassy and her cheeks a little pink, either from the sun or alcohol or both. But based on the way she couldn't stop laughing at the smallest thing, you suspected alcohol was the bigger reason. When she glanced at you and erupted into a fit of giggles again without having to say a word, you knew for sure she was a little past tipsy.
"What?" you laughed, her silly mood too contagious to resist.
"Nothing, nothing," she said with a wave, then seemed to think about it for a second before giving you a mischievous grin and leaned forward, cupping her hand around her mouth in an attempt to muffle her voice, but it didn't work.
"Can I ask you a personal question?"
You shrugged and nodded. "Sure."
She giggled again, slapping her palm over her mouth and tucking her chin against her chest. You frowned and laughed at how ridiculous she was acting and wondered what on earth she was about to say.
She cupped her hand over her mouth again and whispered loudly, "how is Joel in bed?"
Your eyebrows shot up in surprise at her question. Instantly, images and daydreams of what you thought Joel would be like in bed flashed across your mind. What the weight of his body would feel like pressed against yours, pushing you into the mattress. How his lips would feel wrapped around your nipple, his teeth teasing and pinching your skin. Would he kiss you slow and deep or passionate and needy? Would he groan your name when he buried his cock deep inside you? What was his favorite position?
All these things and more you had found yourself wondering more times than you could count since a few days ago in the ocean. He had completely taken over your mind to the point where you could hardly remember the girl you were when you first met, sitting in his office ready to storm out because of his abrupt and seemingly unpleasant nature.
You cleared your throat as you bought some time to scrounge up a lie.
"He's... good. Really good," you added. She nodded excitedly and rolled her wrist, urging you to continue. "He's attentive and... he doesn't rush." You could feel your cheeks heating up when you realized you were just telling her what you wished he was like, what you wished any of the men you had been with were like, only to always fall short in some way or another. "I'm not saying he can't be-" you glanced over your shoulder before lowering your voice, "rougher, because he can. There's been times I can hardly move after," you giggled and she gasped enthusiastically. "But he's always so sweet when we're done. He takes such good care of me, gets me whatever I need, tells me how beautiful I am." You swallowed, feeling only slightly pathetic at how you were turning yourself on with your own lies.
"How about Zach? What's he like?" you asked, changing the subject. Her face fell and she waved you off before taking another sip of water.
"Girl, c'mon, you know the answer to that."
Now it was your turn to gasp but the corners of your mouth twitched into a playful smile.
"What do you mean?"
She rolled her eyes at you and sighed. "You've seen him. He's not hiding anything spectacular, I promise you that."
Zach was significantly older than Zoe. Their age difference especially showed when he stood after sitting for a while, groaning deeply and usually needing a hand to steady himself, or when his phone alarm went off at various times during the day, volume practically maxed out, reminding him to take some pill. But you never got the impression Zoe was unhappy until now.
"So why are you with him?" you asked. Of course, you had to assume his money had something to do with it, but her answer was still not what you expected.
"Can you keep a secret?" she asked conspiratorially. You nodded and leaned forward. Zoe glanced around to make sure nobody else snuck into the massive sitting room before she whispered, "I'm a sugar baby."
"Y-you're... what?" you asked, your voice wavering. Fuck, you really wished you didn't have that last mojito. You were trying to keep your cool but your vision was swimming and your mind was buzzing.
"I think Tammy and Lynne suspect something. I think that's why they don't like me," she said, leaning back and gazing out to the ocean. "Nobody knows for sure, you can't say a word," she said, fear suddenly gripping her. "If Glenn found out, it would be over for Zach. Glenn holds way too much weight on family shit. He already isn't thrilled with our age difference," she sighed, gazing down at her freshly manicured nails. "But between you and me, I hope he doesn't get this land. He wouldn't be able to afford me anymore. Like, I want what's best for him and I want him to be happy, but this relationship is running its course, if you know what I mean."
"Yeah," you breathed, "wow, I had no idea."
She shrugged and picked up her phone. "It's really not a bad gig, but it would be a hell of a lot better if the guys looked like Joel instead of Zach," she giggled.
You laughed softly and took another sip of your water, your mind reeling. The pressure to pull off this little stint was mounting. Joel wasn't the only one who noticed Glenn was a man with family values and tried to do the exact same thing, and now more than ever Joel's alleged affair with Tammy seemed like a huge loose end that could jeopardize your whole lie.
Your nerves got the best of you. Looking back on it, you should have realized that before having two more drinks with lunch, but Zoe's bombshell left you rattled and you got carried away.
Around four in the afternoon, the men returned from the upper deck with their skin pink and their shirts a little damp from sweat, but they were all smiles when they stepped out onto the deck to find their partners with the exception of Glenn's sons, who came by themselves.
Joel didn't notice at first how tipsy you were because you did your best to hide behind a pair of sunglasses and a large hat. He sat down on the lounge chair near yours, looking like he had a couple drinks himself but not nearly as many as you. He appeared relaxed and at ease, no doubt pleased by whatever progress he made with Glenn in the past few hours.
"How's everythin' goin' down here?" he asked, his eyes scanning around the crowd of people who were beginning to mingle.
"Good," you said, "I found out some very interesting information that-" you hiccupped and covered your mouth, "that you would find interesting."
He raised an eyebrow at you and smirked. "Interesting information that I would find interesting?"
"Mhmm," you said, nodding vigorously this time. "I will tell you later," you added, unnecessarily enunciating each word, "when we're alone," you whispered, not realizing your voice was still rather loud. It didn't matter anyway, nobody could overhear you when the guests were all breaking up into groups and talking over each other, but still.
He grinned and glanced around the deck, "Alright, then," he replied. He was about to say more when his eyes landed on someone over your shoulder and he stiffened. You were too slow on the uptake to see what Tammy was mouthing to him, but when he subtly nodded and stood up, you glanced behind you to see her walking discreetly into the yacht, leaving her clueless husband behind.
"I'll be right back," he said to you, and before you could say anything to stop him, he strolled off in her wake, leaving you all alone.
You could blame the alcohol and pretend you weren't jealous, but you were absolutely fuming. Zoe had to be right. How could he be so careless? Did he really think nobody would notice? How could he not tell you about his history with Tammy when it could all blow up in your faces?
Then something occurred to you that made your stomach roll and you had to take a few deep breaths to fight back the wave of nausea.
What if they were still having an affair?
Is that why he didn't want to take things further with you? We can't, he had said. Was he fucking another man's wife this entire time?
You never felt so stupid in your life. Of course, that's what it was. No wonder he put a clause in your contract stating that sex was not to be part of the agreement. How fucking pathetic of him to act so faithful to another man's wife.
What if he was fucking her right now?
You stood up too quickly and lost your balance, but fortunately an arm shot out to steady you.
"Hey, you okay?"
You glanced up over your sunglasses to find Brooks, one of Glenn's sons, standing there with his hand wrapped around your arm looking concerned.
Quickly, you shook your head and forced a smile. "Yeah, the sun got to me, I think," you told him, then after another moment you realized his grip around your bicep hadn't loosened. Your eyes slowly drifted down to his hand and you gave your arm a little tug. Finally, he released you and you gave him a polite chuckle before fixing your cover up so you would feel less exposed in your bikini under his gaze.
"My dad says we should be reaching the island soon," he said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his board shorts. They were neon blue and hung low on his hips. Almost too low, as if he were trying to draw your attention to it.
"Yeah, it sounds great. Should be fun," you mumbled, glancing around the deck, still not finding Joel or Tammy.
"Ever been here before?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. You shook your head.
"To Fiji? No," you answered.
"I'm surprised. It's a pretty common vacation spot for people in Joel's circle," Brooks said. If you were a little less distracted you might have picked up on the fact that he said Joel's circle and not your circle, but you didn't. You were too fixated on your anger and you were fueled by one too many drinks.
"Yeah - would you excuse me? I need to use the restroom," you said, gathering your things in your arms.
"Sure thing," he said, taking a step back so you could brush past him. "See you at dinner."
You gave him what you hoped was a polite wave before storming towards the glass doors that led into the yacht, but just when you were a few feet away, the door swung open and Tammy stepped out. It could have been your paranoia, but you thought she had a little smirk on her face when she passed by you and after that, all you saw was red.
You breezed through the sitting room. The only other people around were two servers who were quietly packing up dishware to take to the beach, then Joel suddenly appeared in the entryway that led back to your room wearing a different shirt than before and you clenched your teeth.
"Hey, was just comin' to get you," he said, not yet picking up on your anger. "You should get ready for dinner, we'll be there soon."
You narrowed your eyes at him and crossed your arms, uncaring that you could be overheard when you spat, "whatever you say, daddy," your tone clipped and dripping with disdain.
The muscles in his jaw twitched and his nostrils flared when he finally sensed your energy. He looked up, catching the eye of one of the crew members, who quickly averted his gaze and pretended not to have overheard what you said, then grabbed your arm.
You had the presence of mind not to fight him and cause a scene, but once he hauled you halfway down the hallway towards some privacy, you wrenched your arm out of his hold.
"The hell's the matter with you?" he seethed. "Are you fuckin' drunk?"
You rolled your shoulder, trying to fix your coverup that slipped down your arm while staring daggers at him.
"What's the matter with me?" you repeated, "what about you? What are you doing? Do you really think nobody sees what's going on?"
He furrowed his brow in confusion and made a face. "What are you talkin' 'bout?"
You took a menacing step forward and lowered your voice. "I'm talking about Tammy, Joel."
His eyes flashed with something you couldn't identify and you hardly had a chance to react before he grabbed your arm again and practically dragged you the rest of the way down the hall towards your room. Once you were safely inside, he slammed the door behind him and stalked over to you, making you stumble backwards in surprise.
"What the hell do you know 'bout that?"
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, trying to push down the wave of envy that bubbled up. "So it is true."
"Answer my fuckin' question," he growled, his eyes steely and his breath coming in quick. You shrugged and tried your best not to look nervous while being the target of his wrath.
"That you're having an affair," you said simply.
He stared down at you for what felt like hours before he exhaled and stepped back. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head before murmuring, "who told you?"
"Zoe," you sneered, taking one step backwards so you could rest your head against the wall. "Guess that means Zach knows, too."
"Fuck," he grumbled, then dragged his palms down his face in agony. "Fuck!" he said again, but shouted it that time and pounded his fist on top of a dresser.
You watched him nervously as he paced around the room, his anger beginning to sober you up a bit.
"You should have told me," you snapped. He swiveled around to look at you, his jaw so tight he could have cracked a tooth. "You could have ruined this entire thing but you're lucky I was quick on my feet and covered for you."
"You only need to know what I say you need to know," he said darkly, sending a shiver down your spine. "You were hired to do a job, so fuckin' do it."
You swallowed the lump in your throat when you saw the look in his eye.
"I'm trying, but you-"
"No," he said, cutting you off and closing the distance between you. "You were hired to look pretty and act like you're in love with me. That's fuckin' it. Everythin' else is none of your goddamn business."
You were just digging your own grave at that point so you figured there was no harm in tossing one more barb his way.
"Suppose it would have been too much to ask for you to at least tell me why you left sex out of our arrangement, but at least I know now it's not me. It's 'cause you're getting it somewhere else."
He inhaled sharply, his scowl cutting you in half.
"That's what this is 'bout?" he asked, stepping even closer. "You got your feelin's hurt yesterday?" His tone implied insincere pity and it sent a jolt of embarrassment through you but you remained quiet and held his gaze. He somehow had managed to cage you in against the wall, his arms bracing around your head as he leaned in closer. You could now smell a hint of toothpaste on his breath from when he came in earlier, without you, and you couldn't stop your next words from tumbling out.
"Did you bring her back here and fuck her in the bed I'm going to sleep in tonight?"
He smirked. He fucking smirked and you never in your life wanted to slap someone more.
"Jealous, baby?" he cooed. You shook your head but he just continued to give you that smug look. "Oh, I think you are. And you know what else?" He was taunting you now and you should have pushed him away but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. He leaned in so his lips brushed against your ear when he whispered, "I think you would let me fuck you right now, if I wanted to."
Tears sprung up in your eyes unexpectedly so you quickly slid them shut. You refused to let him have the satisfaction of your humiliation.
Finally, he pushed himself off the wall and gave you space so you could breathe. With your eyes still closed, he spoke again from the other side of the room.
"I was gone ten minutes. Gimme some credit. I ain't fuckin' anyone in ten minutes."
You heard him yank open the closet and you managed to crack open your eyelids with a pathetic sniffle, watching as he tossed a black dress onto the bed.
"Get ready. We'll be leavin' for the island soon." Then disappeared through the door.
It only took about five minutes before Joel calmed down when the guilt crept in again. Once more he handled another situation with you as poorly as possible and to top it off, he was fairly certain he brought you to tears when he left.
He was so fucking stupid. He should have just told you the truth. He should have told you he hadn't slept with Tammy in over a year and what they had was over, but he just had to keep pushing and pushing. How did he keep making mistake after mistake? You weren't wrong. He should have given you a heads up about Tammy, but he never thought anyone else knew. And instead of admitting it, he lashed out, taking his anger out on you when it wasn't even your fault to begin with. It was his, for being careless and stupid enough for others to find out.
When you emerged from your shared room looking refreshed and fucking stunning in the dress he had rudely thrown onto the bed, he almost apologized. He wanted to, but one look at you told him you were not at all ready to hear it, so he swallowed his words and gave you some space. Well, as much space as he could allow when you were surrounded by ten other people on a deserted beach at sunset eating dinner.
He resisted the urge to drape his arm around the back of your chair or brush his fingers against yours where they rested on the table. Please forgive me, I'm sorry, he kept thinking every time he glanced your way, but you avoided all eye contact and focused on the conversation around you.
During dinner, he noticed you had not one but two more drinks and hardly touched a thing on your plate. He wanted to say something, he wanted to encourage you to at least eat a little more, but he couldn't risk setting you off again, especially in front of everyone. So he bit his tongue and smiled politely when he needed to but mentally he was scrambling to come up with a way to make things up to you.
You stretched your neck with a sigh at one point, drawing his attention, his eyes lingering on the way your fingers trailed down your throat, then watched when you pressed two fingertips into a sore spot on the base of your neck.
How could you ever think he wouldn't want you? Of course, he wanted you. Anyone in their right mind would want you. The second he laid eyes on you it was all he could think about. How could you not see that?
Fortunately, the entire group seemed to be tired so nobody really noticed or cared that you and Joel were not very talkative. On the boat ride back, he instinctively reached for your hand when the boat swayed a little in the choppy waters, but you quickly pulled your arm out of reach and turned away.
It was past ten and the waves were rockier than earlier. He wanted to thank you again for reminding him to take his motion sickness pill but he refrained. Fuck, what he wouldn't give to go back to that part of the day and do everything over.
When the boat reached the yacht, you practically leapt off and jogged back inside, his heart sinking in his chest at your retreating form. He offered his good nights and slowly followed you with his head hung low and his hands shoved in his pockets, but when he finally reached your room he realized the real reason you had been in such a hurry.
The moment he opened the door he could hear you retching in the bathroom and his eyes widened. He closed the door behind him quickly and he rushed to the bathroom, pausing on the other side of the door, unsure what to do or say.
"Are you alright?" he finally asked.
"Does it sound like I'm alright?" you shot back before gagging once again. He winced.
"I'll get you some ginger ale and crackers," he said, spinning around the room until he found a mini refrigerator stocked with a few necessities. As expected, some seasick items were supplied, and he picked out a few things he thought might help. Setting them down on your end table, he turned around and scratched his chin.
While he waited for you to emerge, he got himself changed into more comfortable clothes and then went in search of your own pajamas to lay out for you when you were ready. In one of the drawers he found a few motion sickness bags and he left one out for you when an idea struck. Quickly, he rummaged through his pants from earlier and triumphantly pulled out a little plastic bottle of pills.
When was the last time he ever tried this hard for a woman?
Just as he was about to call out to you again, you swung open the door. Your face looked pale and your eyes were red but you remained defiant and refused to glance his way. You spotted the clothes he laid out for you, and then the items on your bedside, and he thought he saw a flicker of affection in your eyes before you blinked and it was gone.
"Here," he said, holding out the bottle for you. "Take one of these, it'll help."
You stared at it for a few moments as you weighed your options, then begrudgingly snatched it from his hand and tapped one out into your palm. Tossing the bottle onto his side of the bed, you swallowed the pill with the water he set out for you and picked up your pajamas before retreating back into the bathroom for some privacy.
By the time you had changed, Joel had already switched the television on low to some bright sitcom he thought you might like and had turned down the bed. He sat on his side of the mattress, shamefully staring down at his fingers laced together in his lap, then glanced up when he heard the door open and the light turn off.
"Thank you," you murmured before sliding into bed and pulling the covers up to your chin.
"You're welcome," he said softly. He watched you silently for a few minutes while the corners of your mouth twitched occasionally at something that was said on the television, then he cleared his throat, warning you he was about to speak.
"I'm sorry," he said, brows pinching together. You looked up at him in surprise but said nothing, so he continued. "I shoulda told you 'bout Tammy. You were right. And I shouldn't've said... that other stuff," he added weakly, looking down at his hands again. "I ain't any good at this," he continued, pursing his lips in thought. "I push people away, I say all the wrong shit, always have, and now I'm doin' it to you. And it's... it ain't right."
You scanned his face, your resolve crumbling when you saw the sincerity behind his eyes.
"It's okay," you finally said, your voice sounding so small from underneath the plush comforter.
He shook his head. "No, it ain't."
"No, but I forgive you, anyway."
He finally dragged his eyes up to meet yours and smiled. "Thank you, darlin'."
You sighed and readjusted a bit under the covers. "I'm sorry, too."
"Nothin' for you to be sorry for."
"I got too drunk and embarrassed you. It won't happen again."
He scoffed and gave you a look of disbelief. "Half the people on this boat got just as drunk as you. These people are borderline alcoholics," he said, making you giggle a little. He grinned, his heart soaring when he heard the sound. "None of 'em probably even remember we went to dinner."
You laughed a little louder at that and he joined in with a chuckle under his breath. He could feel his muscles relaxing, his nerves settling. He may have just salvaged things yet.
Joel leaned back and tucked his legs under the covers, watching the sitcom but not really absorbing anything. In the past, when he let his mind wander, it was not exactly the way he pictured being in bed with you, but it was still nice.
"Things are over with me 'n her, by the way," he said after a long, comfortable silence. Your body stiffened and you tipped your head in his direction.
"Why didn't you just tell me that to begin with?"
He grinned and shrugged. "Maybe I liked it when you got jealous."
Your cheeks flared with heat and you pulled the bedding up tighter around you.
"Asshole," you muttered. He laughed, making you smile.
"I deserved that."
He could tell when you began to drift off. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw your head tilt towards your shoulder and your perfect lips part ever so slightly. You began to snore so softly, it almost seemed fake. No one looked and sounded that beautiful when they slept. Especially after being sick. But of course, you did. He should have known.
Joel reached over and flicked the lights off, washing the room in the television's glow, then slid deeper underneath the covers. Quietly, he turned the TV off and waited until his eyes adjusted to the darkness before rolling his head to the side to look at you.
What the hell were you doing to him?
It had only been a week and he could already feel himself falling, already doing things out of character and feeling more at ease in general.
So what was one more thing?
Carefully, so as not to wake you, he inched forward and wrapped one arm around your middle, pausing to see if you would stir. When your breath remained steady and even, he got a little closer and pulled.
You took a deep breath and sighed, then rolled onto your side. He closed the remaining space between you and tucked you against his chest while snaking one arm under your pillow, the other still around your waist.
The last thing he remembered thinking was how your hair smelled like coconut and vanilla, a comforting scent he wanted to wrap himself in that was so soft and addicting, it put him right to sleep.
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So this was going to be breeding kink smut and it is that but also maybe more than that. Emotions.
wc: 5k
Content: Nanami/afab reader, mutual pining, friends to lovers, no use of y/n, confessions, breeding kink, smut, confessions like we're in 2005-2012 shoujo manga, is this therapy??
You felt like there was a current under your skin and no matter what you did it just didn't go away. You weren't sure if it was because you were ovulating or if it had just been a while since you got laid but you were fucking horny.
Normally, you would just go to your room and pull out one of your go to scenarios and just deal with this yourself, but Nanami was coming back today from a mission and you had a standing date whenever he came back to town.
Calling it a date wasn't entirely accurate, the two of you were friends, the best of friends, and nothing romantic had happened before and nothing romantic would be happening tonight, no matter what the ache in you had to say about it.
Speak of the curse, there was a knock at the door. No matter how many times you told Nanami, he could just open the door, he always persisted in knocking and usually followed that up with a lecture about how you needed to lock your doors.
"It's open!"
Nanami wasn't even all the way in before he started to reprimand you. "You can't just leave your door open, do you have any idea what is out there in this city and what could easily be in here?"
You didn't react to his tone, the familiar rant almost comforting. "And you think me locking my door is going to help that?" Nanami frowned at you as he toed off his oxfords.
"Lock your damn door."
"Well there's no need for that, now that you're here to protect me," you told him cheerfully and you didn't bother to hide your grin as he blushed lightly beneath the lamplight. Before you made him flee into the night or at the very least end your date-but not actually a date-night, you handed him one of your kitchen knives and pushed him in front a cutting board. "Now come on, chop chop, those peppers won't cut themselves."
Nanami grabbed the knife and wiggled away from your hands and the sight of such a large man wiggling like you dropped a worm down the back of his shirt made you giggle as you went to check the sauce on the stove.
The two of you worked in companionable silence and you turned the volume up on the music you'd been listening to before he arrived. Sometimes you hummed along as you wandered around getting everything ready, taking the vegetables from Nanami as he efficiently worked through the stack. You felt warm and fulfilled and you couldn't think of where you'd rather be or what you'd rather be doing than cooking here with your best friend.
When everything was cut up, Nanami started doing the dishes. You were taken away from what you were doing by the sight of him rolling up the sleeves on his dress shirt, his tanned forearms flexing under the warm kitchen lighting. He quickly unlatched his watch and set it on the counter before picking up the cutting board and rinsing it under the sink. The sight of his strong hands moving under the water sent something warm and dangerous inside of you and you wretched your gaze away before you did something crazy like kiss him or ask him to put his hands around you neck like a necklace.
You added the finishing touches to everything and started to plate it, the smell making your stomach growl.
"Alright, everything is ready!" If Nanami thought anything strange of your cheerful energy, he didn't say anything and just silently dried his hands on your sunflower dish towel and turned to help you plate the food. You both took your plates and a glass of wine to the couch, walking right past the kitchen table you never ate at, and sat at opposite ends.
You exchanged some small talk as you ate and he gave you what you knew to be an extremely sanitized version of what he'd been up to over the past few days and you just enjoyed being in his company.
When you were both done eating and had put your plates on the coffee table, you didn't hesitate to put your feet up on the couch, Nanami taking them and putting them in his lap without prompting.
"What I'm hearing is that you need a vacation. Maybe it's time to finally take that trip to Malaysia you keep talking about," I told him as he finished recounting the trip. He hummed a little as he started to press into the arches of your feet.
Now, his foot massages had always given you a little flutter but right now between the dinner, the wine and the release of pressure as his beautiful hands pressed, you were nearly throbbing. You wanted to take your feet back but felt like you were on a tightrope and any movement would lead to some sort of epic collapse.
"Perhaps, are you going to be using your vacation time soon?"
"Hmm, if it means going to Malaysia maybe," you joked not thinking that you and your best friend would really go to another country together. "It would be nice to just sit on the beach with a drink and a book I would be too embarrassed to read in public here."
"What embarrassment? I've seen you read porn in public on multiple occasions."
"Yeah, so imagine the freaky stuff I've got saved for when I'm somewhere no one knows me," you said, wiggling your eyebrows.
He gently smiled across to you. "I would know you."
"You don't count, Kento," you snorted and he paused before resuming the massage currently killing your three remaining brain cells.
"Really? Why is that?"
"I mean I love you obviously," and you kept going a little quicker so he did't put any weight to what you told him all the time but he never interpreted correctly. "But it isn't like I need to hide what a weirdo I already am from you, you already know. It's too late."
"I would think you don't need to hide from anyone who's worth knowing," he said and while wise you thought he was missing the point.
"I just wouldn't start a date off by listing my kinks, that's all." Nanami laughed and his hands gripped your ankles in a way that had you purring.
"Any guy scared off by that isn't worth your time."
"Uh huh, I'll keep that in mind on my next date. Just casually drop my breeding kink while we drink cocktails and talk about how many siblings we have and how interesting that is." This time, Nanami's hands tightened to the point of almost pain against your legs before he seemed to relax and when he started talking again, you almost burst into flames right there.
"You have a breeding kink, baby?"
His tone was deeper and there was a roughness to it that reminded you of what he sounded like in the morning the few times he'd fallen asleep here. He wasn't looking at you, his eyes seemed focused on where his hands were slowly moving up to the back of your calves.
You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you gave the most nervous laugh that had ever come out of your mouth. "I don't think it's exactly uncommon, feel like it's gotten really mainstream recently. I mean the bigger issue is getting a guy to actually put a condom on."
"I always wear a condom," Nanami responds sharply and you scoff as his hands make their way to your thighs. There's too much happening for you to follow the weirdest, most stressful conversation you've ever had.
"Of course you do. I mean I do too, I'm not just going to let some random guy you know, do that," you end it with a hand gesture that doesn't correspond to anything but Nanami smirks anyway.
"I know, you're too good of a girl for that." Before you can respond, his hands have officially made their way to the hem of your pajama shorts, which now seem far too short under the fire that seems to come from his fingertips. "You wouldn't let just any guy knock you up, right?"
Your brain is screaming "Danger! Danger!" but you're not really sure how you can get yourself away and out of this conversation and honestly you're starting to get worried he's soon going to be able to see how wet you are through the flimsy excuse of shorts you're wearing, if his wandering hands don't figure that out for themselves first.
Nanami's hands pause where they are, brushing up against the inside of your thighs and he tilts his head so he's making eye contact with you. His glasses reflect the glare from the lamp in the corner of your living room but beneath that, his eyes have a look so dark that you wonder if this is what curses see right before he exorcises them.
"Kento, what are you doing?" You ask him quietly, the air seeming to tighten around you and your vision shrinking until all you could see was just the two of you.
You weren't stupid, or some naive character in a novel who continues to be confused that the love interest is hitting on her until his dick is literally out. You knew what this was building to. For whatever reason, after years of friendship, the fact that you had a fucking breeding kink was what was going to push Nanami over the edge and maybe fuck you right here on this couch. Now, your libido was very on board with that plan, but this wasn't about being horny and hormonal. Or about how hot your best friend looked in this lighting, and in every lighting, because you might believe in God sometimes just looking at him. This was about your friendship. There was a reason this hadn't happened before, you were too important to each other to throw away your friendship or risk it carelessly.
"I'm not sure," he said and before you could reprimand him or reestablish boundaries he moved closer to you so he could grab your hands in his. This touch was more innocent than what he had been doing before, but your heart pounded in your chest and you wondered if he could feel it as his thumbs rubbed against the pulse points in your wrists.
"I care about you, so much," Nanami started and you squeezed his hand to show you were listening. "I think about you all the time. Even on this past mission, whenever there were moments where the conclusion of the fight felt uncertain I just thought about you and how I couldn't die because you were here waiting for me."
He paused, eyes so sincere and you knew that there was a before this moment and after. "This isn't about some fucking kink, or me wanting to stake a claim. I love the idea of making you mine, but it's more than that. I want to share a life with you, I want to come here after missions and stay here until it's time for me to leave again. I want to go out there, fighting because I know that I have you here to come home to."
Nanami brought his face close to yours and you couldn't help your quick gasp as his nose lightly traced the curve of your jaw until his lips finally grazed your temple. The touch so light you barely felt it, but it hit you like a shock all the same.
"You do come home to me," you told him and you let go of his hands so you could smooth them down his chest. You felt powerful as his breathing became ragged. "I wait for you when you're gone, even if it's not a mission, because home for me is you. Something is missing when you're gone," you shook your head and Nanami moved to grip your waist, his face pressed up against your cheek now.
You laughed a little, still shaken. "I mean that's really what the whole breeding kink is about anyway." Nanami's hands paused where they had been rubbing circles in your waist and he pulled back so he could look at you, his face amused even as you could see his eyes looking a little closer to tears than you think you had ever seen them.
"What?" He asked and you smiled, looping your arms around his neck.
"It's about wanting to belong to someone and have them belong to you. Knowing that you both want to share a life together and you want everyone to see it. I mean, it's not like that for everyone, the internet really gets to a dark, dark place," Nanami smiled at your rambling and at this point you were on a roll. "But I think for me, it's feeling like someone wants me so much, they want to create a life together that's part of both of us, you know."
"Are you saying you want to create a life with me?" From anyone else you would think they were making fun of you, but Nanami looked so warm, so happy that you couldn't help smiling back.
"I don't know if it's been made clear to you or not, but I'm all in over here. If we're doing this, which it seems like we are," at your questioning tone, Nanami turned so he could press a kiss against one of your wrists. "Then I'm all in. I want the whole thing."
"And what's part of that whole thing?" Nanami asked, pulling you up to standing. He started walking you backwards towards your bedroom, pressing kisses against your hair, your hands, the hollow where your neck met your collarbones.
"Well, you need to move in. I mean your apartment is nicer, but mine has more character and I'm the one home more anyway," Nanami hummed and pushed you gently so you were sitting on your bed. You moved back as he started unbuttoning his shirt. "And, I want to get married but I don't want an engagement ring, just the band and I need you to be chill about that." He frowns a little as he slips his button down off and is down to just an undershirt that clings to his muscles.
"I don't know if I like that."
"Well, I'm not asking you. If you're really pressed about, you can get yourself an engagement ring," you tease as he starts to pull his belt out. You press your thighs together but it does nothing to alleviate the ache between them.
"I think it would clash with my watch," he says lightly as his belt comes out and he folds it before putting it on the chair by your bed. Your heart warms at such how typical of him it is to not make a mess even now.
"Before I continue the list of my demands, there's something I need first," you tell him and his eyebrows go up.
"And what is that?"
"Kiss me, preferably before we're both naked." He blushes, and all parts of this are strange but wonderful and now Nanami is crawling across your floral comforter until he hovers above you and the way his body blocks out the remaining sunlight and the light peaking from the living room makes you preen and suddenly his hand cups your cheek.
"Now how did I forget something like that?"
"I don't know, but let's get this show on the road-" Nanami interrupts you by finally, finally pressing his lips to yours and it's the best way anyone has ever told you to shut up.
You notice his lips are soft and think briefly about what chapstick he must use before your ability to think coherent thoughts is taken from you as he lightly bites at your bottom lip. Even after you gasp, he takes his time before trying to taste inside your mouth, it drives you crazy. When he finally opens his mouth you to you, you hummed pleased, and you can feel his smile as he presses you deep into the mattress.
Nanami's hand are at your waist and when they start to pull your shirt up you briefly separate so he can fling it to the side of your room, in sharp contrast to how he neatly removed his own clothing. You don't have time or the brain capacity to comment because takes advantage of your newly unveiled skin to move his mouth down your body, taking his time at your neck and the curve of your waist. He moves down the bed and when he gets to your shorts, those are thrown to where your shirt is. All you have left is your underwear and even though they're just a pair you have designated as lazy day underwear, which means calling them granny panties is generous, Nanami still looks at you like he's never seen anything sexier and that makes you feel sexier.
Nanami makes eye contact with you as his fingers brush against the waistband of your underwear. You lift your hips up in permission and he slowly lips them down your legs, laying light kisses to your thighs and calves and he works them down.
You had imagined this moment before, and even in your imagination you couldn't imagine feeling confident in someone as perfect looking as Nanami see you naked but in the moment, everything you normally felt insecure about, it was just too small to take you away from being intimate with the man you loved and who you knew loved you.
When Nanami pressed one of his large palms against the inside of your thighs, you knew what you wanted and you couldn't help the uptick in your breath as you slowly parted your legs. No one had ever looked at you with the reverence, the devotion that Nanami was looking at you with.
"I love you," he said and you reached one of your hands down, he met you halfway and you threaded your fingers together above your hip.
"I know," your response didn't have any cheekiness. You were telling him that you saw him and the depth of the feelings he was sharing with you.
With one of his hands still holding yours, he moved the other one to the juncture between your legs and you let out a sigh as he finally touched you where you'd been aching all night.
"You know I heard all about your demands princess, but we never really talked about mine."
"Wh-what?" you stuttered, unlike him apparently you were not in a state to continue any kind of conversation.
"Your demands? The apartment, the questionable ring choice, your demands," he reminded you as he began to lightly circle his thumb and his index finger around your cunt. He barely grazed your clit on every pass he made and it was driving you fucking crazy.
"Is there a point to this Kento," you groaned out and then moaned as he finally slipped a finger in past the knuckle. You were so wet you could hear it and the little hum he let out let you know he noticed.
"I wanted to tell you some of my demands," he repeated as he continued to explore inside of you. He curved his finger and the noises come from you were new even to you. Grateful, desperate but not embarrassed, you wanted him to hear you.
"I want to call you my wife and I don't want to wait, we can go to the courthouse tomorrow and then host a bigger wedding in the fall, if you want. I just care that my ring is on your finger, even if you only want the one," this comes across teasingly as he adds a second finger. "Darling, are you even listening to me?"
"Fuck, Ken, what do you want me to say?" You try to sound cross but it across as a whine and he laughed.
"Just acknowledge you can hear me, you could try a yes, sir."
"Fuck you," you replied and he pressed a little sharper into you. It didn't hurt, it felt good and you knew he would never do anything to purposefully discomfort you. He was just also a petty man.
"So impatient, I'm getting there." You whined when he pulled his fingers out, but before you could complain his tongue replaced them and this cued another desperate noise from you.
You thought of Nanami as a neat, orderly sort of man. He had folded his clothes before getting into bed with you after all, an absolutely mind boggling behavior but not surprising coming from the man who couldn't go to bed if there were any dishes in the sink.
Despite this, the only way you could describe the way Nanami was currently eating you out was sloppy. He moved purposefully and it was a far cry from the boys, you could only think of them as such, who had tried before, even the ones who had truly given it their all. The messiness felt like part of that purpose, like he wanted to show you that he loved your pussy so much he couldn't go about it in a sensible way and it was fucking driving you insane.
You felt your orgasm approaching and when you told Nanami you were coming, he didn't change a single thing he was doing like the gentleman he was and when you came he gentled his touch as you rode the waves of the best orgasm you had maybe ever had.
"Fuck, how have we not done that before?" You laughed and pulled on the hand that was still wrapped in yours, to encourage him to come up to you, but Nanami pushed you back down.
"I'm not done, I'm still hungry."
As he kneeled back down, you laughed again but this time a little frantic.
"You don't need to do that I'm again, I'm ready-"
"Actually, you're wrong. See, this is one of my demands," he says as he teases your entrance, still sensitive. "I need to taste you every day."
You scoffed even as he moved lower. "Well, that's just not realistic." You could swear you see him roll his eyes before putting his mouth to you again and that removes even your deep rooted skepticism. If there was one man to put your faith in, you supposed it was the one eating you out like it was his last meal.
By the time you were coming again, you were surprised that none of your neighbors, as chill as they usually were, had started banging on the walls or called the police just in case.
"Fuck!"
You weren't really capable of speech anymore and when you came for the second time, you squeezed Nanami's hand until you were sure if he were a weaker man, you would have broken something.
Nanami gave once last nip to your inner thigh that had you shaking before he began kissing up your body, lingering on your hip and your neck before he came face to face with you. He hovered over you and you brought your arms up to wrap around his neck.
He leaned down and pressed his mouth to yours and you moaned at the taste of you on his mouth as he lowered more of his weight onto you. He still had his boxers on and you could feel the press of his hard cock on your thigh. You lazily ground against each other until you could feel the leak of his pre-cum through the fabric.
"When are you going to fuck me," you asked, the brattiness in your tone would have embarrassed you if you weren't so desperate for him to be inside of you. Nanami paused in his movement against you and smiled, the warmth in his eyes taking the smugness out of his grin.
"I'm getting there," he said and you humphed impatiently and reached down to tug at his boxers. He let you and pulled them off to join your own discarded clothes. You couldn't wrapping your hand around the length of him, thick and hard in your palm, the head shiny and calling you to put your mouth you him. You licked your lips and Nanami groaned before messily taking your mouth in his.
"Stop looking at me like that, I'll come in your hand," he said and you moaned at the thought.
"Why don't you come in my mouth instead," you teased and went to get up so you could do that but Nanami shook his head and kissed your neck.
"Later, I want to be inside you." You kissed him and he took your hand off his cock and pushed your thighs open to welcome him in. Before he could finally, finally, finally, put himself inside you, he paused and looked at you.
"Do you have a condom?"
You did but you bit your lip which you noticed moved Nanami's attention to your mouth which made you preen a little before you focused up again.
"I do," you answered slowly and then wondering if you had lost your mind continued. "I'm not on birth control," you told him and wondered if you needed to ask what you wanted to ask but he knew you so you didn't.
"Okay," he said and you noticed the grip he had on your thighs tightened. "What do you want?"
"What do you want," you countered, still a little afraid of being completely honest about how gone you were and the fact it was currently making you very irrational.
Nanami laughed a little but the sound wasn't particularly humorous and it made you clench in a way that reminded you of how empty you still were.
"I want to knock you up, is that what you want to hear," he slid the head of his cock over your folds and you whimpered and tilted your head back, leaving room for him to kiss down your neck. "Any children I have, I only want them to be yours," he said it almost like a confession and you felt your eyes well up with tears.
"I want to have your baby, Kento. Please, please, please," you started to plead with him and he moved back to he could look you in the eye.
"Are you sure, because we don't have to, we can wait-"
"For fuck's sake," you say and you move your hips so he slips in to you, finally and Nanami tightens his grip before thrusting in, both of you groaning at the feeling.
"So impatient," he teases but he sounds too wrecked for you to take it to heart. "My greedy girl wants my baby that badly?"
"Yes," you tell him, no shame to be found in you. You roll your hips and he gets the message and he starts moving in a hard rhythm that removes all thought from your brain except for what he's doing to you and little baby with your hair and his eyes.
"I'll give it to you, I'll give you my baby." His thrusts pick up in speed and intensity and you can't even return the kisses he presses to you, you're too fucked out. "A perfect baby for my baby," he coos and you whimper and scratch down his back leading to a sharp response in his hips and you can almost feel his dick in your throat he's so deep in you.
There's so much going on. You have the feeling of his toned back against your hands, strands of his blonde hair messily falling down onto your forehead where he presses his face against your temple. His hands are everywhere, your hips, your thighs, your cheek when he goes to press another sloppy kiss to your mouth you can barely return.
Your orgasm almost surprises you and you can barely warn Nanami before you're coming, the waves of pleasure through your body causing your vision to black out for a second. Nanami moans into your ear and you can't help what you see in your mind as you feel him come in you.
A courthouse wedding with a few of your friends. Moving boxes into your apartment, most of them just filled with work clothes and niche kitchen supplies that only Nanami would own. You cooking in your kitchen, your belly round with this child you created together, while he wraps his arms around you from behind. Dance recitals, graduations, weddings, birthdays, your lives together happen across the back of your eyelids before you slowly blink them open to meet his gaze.
"I hope one of your demands is that we do that every day," you say and he laughs before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
"As many times as you want," he promises and before you can respond he has you turned onto your stomach, letting out an involuntary whimper as he starts to harden in you.
"After all, I did promise you a baby. Gotta make sure it sticks."
So, someone's been reflecting on their reading habits and kinks lately and this kind of came from that.
#kento nanami#jjk nanami#nanami x reader#nanami kento#nanami smut#nanami x you#nanami x y/n#jjk x reader#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento x you#nanami kento x y/n#nanami kento smut
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General Relationship Headcannons (Bats pt 1)
Characters: Bruce Wayne, Richard "Dick" Grayson, Jason Todd, Timothy "Tim" Drake
Summary: How do I think these characters would behave in a relationship. How I think you two would meet, their love languages, their first dates. You know the rest.
Gender Neutral Reader
DC Masterlist!
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Bruce Wayne:
You two met at a Charity Fundraiser. He literally bumped into you. It was instinct to check you out, his analytical eyes scanned you. But it was perfectly hidden with his Playboy Brucie Persona.
He immediately went to charm your socks off. You may not have any vital information, but hey, at least you'd be a good lay.
He was very, very surprised when you turned him down. You sited not being interested in him as the reason.
Well, now he's just offended.
After that Night, Bruce began stalking seeking you out more. He learned everything he could about you. He had a point to prove, alright? He totally didn't find you attractive.
The more he spent time with you, the more he learned about you from you... The more Bruce looked forward to spending time with you.
Bruce found that he fell hard and fast for you. You were just... amazing! You were like a warm blanket on a cold winter's day. You were like the few rays of sunshine that Gotham gets a year...
Bruce eventually dropped the Brucie act around you, and he was surprised when you responded positively to Bruce just... being himself.
Bruce asked you out not too soon after that. He went all out on your first date. Candles, the most expensive food, a band. Bruce did not hold back.
You went along with it, but after words you told Bruce that you were okay with low effort, laid back dates. He felt like a bit of an idiot.
Bruce's Love languages would be Acts of Service and Quality Time. He loves doing things and spending time with you.
Richard "Dick" Grayson:
Haley brought you two together. The Puppy had gotten off her leash, and run straight into you. Dick apologized so much as he collected Haley from your arms.
Dick helped you off the ground, for a 3 legged puppy, Haley had a lot of power. He introduced himself, and offered to get you something to eat an an apology.
You two hit it off right away, though! Dick was funny and charming, and you bounced off of him easily.
What was supposed to be an apology hot dog ended up in a new friend and an exchange of numbers.
Hang outs became daily events. Dick would coo over Haley with you and buy you food. You were really fun to talk to!
Some months later, Dick decided to shoot his shot and ask you out. You were amazing, and just so fun to me around!
Your first Date would be at a cafe. Dick wanted to Impress you, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable with some massive, grand gesture. Who was he, Bruce?
Dick's love languages would be Quality Time and Physical Touch. He loves being around you and touching you. He also gives the best cuddles. It's a win-win.
Jason Todd:
Jason encountered into you at the Iceberg Lounge. He was just doing his usual rounds, making sure everybody was happy, along with scrapping together any information he could.
He noticed that you were uncomfortable, being hit on by a bunch of goons. Something told him he'd regret it, but he swooped in. He gently place his hand on you hip, it was sold you could easily escape if needed. With a few sweet words and nicknames, Jason chased the guy off.
He then properly introduced himself. You two got to talking, and Jason found that he... really liked talking to you.
Your friendship blossomed, and a year later Jason was hit with the fact he had a crush on you. Thank you Roy, for that.
He took his chance, and decided to ask you out. He was super relieved when you said yes.
This dork brought you to a bookstore for the first date. After browsing around he then brought you to a decent restaurant. It was all worth it to see you happy.
Jason's love languages would be Quality time and Words of Affirmation. He doesn't feel like he deserves you, reassure him that he does.
Timothy "Tim" Drake:
220k, strangers to lovers, slow burn, coffee shop AU- Sorry. You are a barista at his favorite cafe. You were the one who usually took and made his coffee.
He once asked you why you worked such unholy hours, since you were always in when he patrolled. You looked him dead in the eyes and said that college wasn't going to pay for itself, and that sleep was for the weak.
That's when he decided to look into you. He wanted to study you and everything about you. You were just amazing.
Bruce stopped that in it's tracks and forced Tim to talk to you like a normal person. No stalking and unhealthy relationships on Bruce's watch.
He was terrified as he talked to you. He led the conversation a best he could. The more he talked to you, the more relaxed he was.
You two got along very well! Tim was surprised about how well you two got along. You two shared a lot of interests. Tim felt... seen.
It took a couple months for Tim to work up the guts to ask you out. He was so excited when you said yes.
He brought you to the Observatory. He knew no villains would attack, and it was quiet. He bought you so much from the gift shop.
Tim's love languages are Gift Giving and Words of Affirmation. He has a lot of trouble with his self worth. Love on him, assure him that he is more than his role as a CEO or Red Robin.
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a/n: I split this up, like, a lot. It was going to be a massive post with all the male characters I write for. Then I was going to do the same thing for the fem characters I write for.
But that was very fucking overwhelming. So I decided to split it up into the factions I write for. So, expect A Few of these types of posts lol.
Also Happy American Thanksgiving!
#dc headcanon#headcanon#dc comics#dc universe#x reader#x gn reader#x gender neutral reader#celestials writing#Bruce Wayne#Batman#Richard Grayson#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Timothy Drake#Tim Drake#Nightwing#Red Hood#batfamily#batfam#red robin#bruce wayne x reader#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader
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I would like to request a farmer taking care of a sick Sebastian, if that's alright with you!
poor thing || sebastian x reader oneshot
sebastian is a sickly victorian child, if only there was someone to nurse him back to health ...
warnings: sebastian jokingly tells you to kys
requested by: @thatwolfnamednyla , hiya!! sorry for this taking so long, life stuff, yada yada. i hope you enjoy the request! i tried to make sure it was different from the harvey one despite the similar premise lmao. i really enjoyed writing this!! <3
Sebastian texting you in the middle of the day to complain about something wasn't new. When you were hard at work, you'd check your phone to see your lovely boyfriend venting to you through text. It wasn't usually too serious, and it was really to start a conversation or to get his thoughts out. You weren't expecting the complaints that he shared with you today, though.
Seb đ: my head hurts so bad rn ngl, and my sinuses are fucked. i hate spring :/
â€ïž: Do you need me to bring you some medicine? I can run by Harvey's soon.
Seb đ: plea
Seb đ: pjease
Seb đ: oh my fucking god my eyes hurt so bad i can't fumking type
â€ïž: You poor thing :(
Seb đ: kys đ
Sebastian was curled up in his blankets when you arrived, staring at his phone like a zombie. He looked like a wreck, his face more pale and his hair messier than usual. He looked at you in the doorway, holding some medicine and what looked to be hot soup. He had a soft smile on his face, attempting to speak. All that came out was a squeak, and then silent embarrassment. He was definitely a wreck.
You sat down beside him on the bed, grabbing the medicine from the bag. âHarvey gave me some cough syrup and some allergy meds. I also grabbed some Tylenol for your head, and some food. You barely take care of yourself as is, you probably haven't even gotten out of bed to eat. Have you?â
With a shake of his head, Sebastian sat up and rubbed his eyes. âC- ... couldn't get the motivation. I haven't even tried talking this morning yet, I didn't know my voice was all ... gross,â he said with a soft frown. He rested his warm forehead on your shoulder as you began to pour some cough medicine for him. He took it begrudgingly, gagging at the taste.
âYou're more dramatic when you're sick, huh?â you said with a smile, grabbing the pills that you had been given. You handed them to Sebastian and forced him to take them with water. Dehydration was pretty common with Sebastian, as he sometimes forgets to drink enough throughout the day.
Sebastian took the medicine and continued drinking the water, just like you asked. âListen- ... I feel, sound, and probably look like a sickly Victorian child on their deathbed. Let me be the dramatic one for once,â he mumbled softly.
You laughed softly, opening up your arms and allowing Sebastian to lay his head against your chest. âWell, let me be your deathbed, I guess. I'll stay as long as you want me to, 'kay? I've done pretty much everything I need to do today. You've got me for the rest of the night, if you'd like.â
Sebastian croaked out a soft âokay,â wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you closer. The sound of your heartbeat echoed through his ears, a wave of calm washing over him. His body was drained, and when he was with you, he felt safe enough to rest it. He didn't feel the need to be productive, or walk outside and smoke. He just had you, and he was okay with putting his health in your hands.
You brushed your hand through his hair, feeling the soft strands. It was extremely soft when it didn't have mountains of gel coating it. You loved every aspect of him and his style, even if it prevented you from really feeling his hair all the time. He did really like the sensation, though. He wouldn't verbally admit it, but he'd certainly let you know through the soft sigh of relief.
Grabbing the remote, you flicked on the TV. Sebastian was obsessed with this fantasy show, so you decided to turn it on. He'd rematched it several times, and you knew he'd be excited to watch it again.
Sebastian eyes flickered to the screen, before turning to you and pressing a gentle kiss against your jaw. He slinked back to your chest, snuggling into the space between your collarbone and your neck. He was so comfortable, despite how sick he felt. You were the best medicine after all. Also, the medicine you gave him was starting to kick in. That's probably it.
âThank you,â Seb mumbled softly. He took your free hand in his, rubbing over your knuckles with his thumb. âI appreciate what all you do for me, even if I'm sick and whiny,â he said, clearing his throat.
âYou don't have to thank me, hon. Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes. But, what you can do to repay me, is to start feeling better,â you said, planting a quick kiss on his forehead.
âI can't just magically feel betterrrr ...â he whines gently, burying his head deeper within your chest.
You sighed jokingly, rubbing his back. âFiiiiine, I guess you pass this time. Next time, you're not getting away with it.â
âOh nooo ... that's so saddd ...â he said, jokingly monotone. He snuggled even closer, looking up at you. âI love you, by the way.â
âAnd I love you,â you smiled, kissing his cheek. âAre you feeling any better, though?â
He nodded, laying back onto you. âMhm ... I think I just needed you. Feelin' a lot better.â
âGood,â you said with a smile. You kept rubbing his back, feeling him relax into your touch. Before long, you heard a soft snore from him, followed by a few twitches. He had fallen asleep, comfortable in your arms. He really needed the sleep, and it's definitely weird seeing Sebastian asleep so early. Hopefully, this was a sign he would feel better tomorrow. You wouldn't have it any other way.
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MY ANGEL. âïœĄÂ°â© carl grimes x reader .á WORD COUNT .á â 2K ê© .á WARNINGS â hurt to comfort, use of y/n, near-death experience (reader), blood, basic zombie apocalypse stuff !! .á SUMMARY .á â you and carl go out on a dangerous run. ê© .á A/N .á â this may be a bit inspired by the last of us... barely but you can definitely smell it!!! you could also say it was partially inspired by 9x4 maybe.. anyways i wanted to get a oneshot out before i started posting my series :3 hope you guys enjoyyyy!!
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you'd spent basically your whole life in the walls of woodbury. the first time you started seeing the outside world was after woodbury had fallen.
you were aware of the dangers of the new world, but you were protected. until, of course, you weren't.
you were taken in by ricks group, and ever since then, you'd been learning how to defend yourself. although, you weren't the best at it. you were out of shape, anxious, and well... very clumsy. and those were all apparent before you were helping outside of walls.
but carl helped. he wouldn't let you go out without him. even if his father, michonne, glenn, or anyone was with you, he had to be there too.
the two of you hadn't realized that you two were so close because you had feelings for one another. but, once you guys landed in alexandria, it was visible to everyone that you guys had found yourselves taking a larger interest in one another.
he always made sure that you were safe, even in places you two trusted to be safe. he checked on you as often as he could. he didn't even like you going on runs, he'd make sure that you could enjoy the safety of alexandria as much as possible.
but you were still set out on runs, of course. carl went with on every single one, too.
you two were set on to head out on a pretty dangerous run. one that carl begged for you not to go on, but to no avail. the only part about it that made him feel better was that he was able to come with you.
this run was different from the others you'd been on. you always went on runs with a group of 4 at least, but it was just you and carl on this one. you were sure that was why he was so anxious.
you guys were set on a run to an abandoned mall. from what you'd heard, they've tried to clear the mall before, but there were too many walkers out. they cleared most of it, but they wanted to send you and carl out to clear the rest. despite your inexperience, you were quite a good shot. that's why you were put out on so many runs recently.
you stepped out of the car, putting your backpack around you and holstering your gun.
"are you sure you're okay with doing this?" carl asked, walking over to your side. "we can go back, it's not too late-"
"i got this, carl." you smiled at him, putting your hand up to his hair to comfort him. "it'll be fine. you're my angel, you always protect me. we'll just be in and out."
he put his hand over yours and grinned. despite his anxieties, you always managed to make him feel better. "alright. if anything happens, we'll go back though."
"of course." you nodded understandingly. you intertwined your fingers together with his and began walking toward the mall.
the mall seemed more cleared out than they expressed, which you didn't think much of. carl pointed it out, however.
"they said this place would still be swarming with walkers." he took his gun out, letting it rest in his hands as he walked forwards. "keep an eye out."
you nodded, taking your gun out as well.
the two of you examined the area, taking out a few remaining walkers as you walked around. the shops you guys entered were mostly cleared out, except for a few things.
"do you think someone's here?" you turned back over to carl, who was searching frantically for anything.
"probably, or there was. there's nothing here." he throws down an empty jar of food and sits back up. "we should probably head out-"
*BANG!*
"get down!" carl pulls your hand down as he throws himself behind a counter. "did you get hit?" his voice is lower as he holds your face. you simply respond by shaking your head, your eyes widening.
"we have more people than you!" the man yelled as he began entering the store. "just come on out!"
you held your gun tightly, turning and quickly shooting the man in the head.
you sat there in shock for a moment, until carl grabbed you and pulled you back up. "let's go!"
the moment you guys stepped outside of the store, there were instant shots fired around you. you dove behind a flipped over table, but carl hid behind something on the other side of you. it was too dangerous for one of you to run over to the other, so you gave him a confident nod.
the men were yelling at the two of you, calling you guys names and trying to get you two to come out. they were up on the second story of the mall, at the edge of the balcony.
there was lots of fallen debris on the ground, sharp objects and everything you could think of that could make this run even more difficult than it needed to be.
carl tried shooting at the guys, and the men were mostly focused on him.
you took this as your opportunity to make your way upstairs. you saw carl give you a worried look as he realized what you were doing, but you kept going. it was too dangerous to stop.
luckily, the guys were still focused on carl and you were able to make your way up the steps.
you walked up behind the guys, your gun in one hand and knife in the other. your plan being to shoot one and stab the other simultaneously. as you got closer, you stood up. but, there was another man. he bolted towards you, pushing you up against the edge of the balcony, making you drop your knife and gun in a panic.
"fuck!" you tried pushing him away as his forearm laid firmly against your throat. but you weren't stronger than him, being a teenager and all.
you closed your eyes tightly as his arm pushed harder onto your neck, still trying to push him. when all the sudden, you felt the balcony crumble on your back. you felt yourself falling, but you didn't have time to react before you felt a sharp pain through your side.
you heard a loud ringing in your ears. you couldn't feel anything. you looked around, but everything looked blurry. you could vaguely spot the man who was just choking you moments before on the ground next to you dead, a pool of his blood forming beneath him.
"she's dead, focus the boy!" was the only thing you could make out through the ringing.
'am i really dead?' you thought, looking around. you thought it could be true, because due to the shock you really couldn't feel anything.
you looked down, spotting a metal rod through your side. you reach for it, but you fell back as a long, burning pain shot through your body. that's what made you realize you were still alive.
the men above still hadn't noticed, they were continuing to shoot at carl.
tears began flooding your eyes as the pain started become more and more apparent. "carl..." your head fell back as you attempted to look for him
you heard gunshots, very quick ones. then everything was silent. you heard footsteps running towards you.
"y/n? oh, my god." you saw carls blurry figure over you. "no, no, no, no.. y/n.."
you put your hand where the pain was, feeling the blood leak onto them. "i'm... bleeding..?" you were disoriented. you knew what was happening, but at the same time it felt like it was coming at you in sections.
"i've got you." carl walks over to your side, examining what had happened. "i have to pull you out." he says, his voice panicked. he brings his hand down to hold your blood-stained one. "it's going to hurt. please, trust me."
you nod, and before you knew it, the pain got sharper. you screamed loudly as you fell onto carl. he held you tightly, and you could feel his heart beating out of his chest.
he lays you back down, and you could spot your blood on his clothes. he removes his flannel and rips one of the sleeve off. "it's gonna be okay. i.. i promise. i'm gonna try and patch you up." he wraps the sleeve around your side tightly, causing you to yelp out in pain again. "sorry, i know it hurts. you're doing good."
he picks you up, running out of the mall and back to the car as fast as possible. he mutters under his breath, saying 'i love you' and 'you'll be okay' in an attempt to calm you down, but also calm himself down.
he lays you down in the back seat of the car, leaving a kiss on your cold forehead before he jumps into the drivers seat and begins speeding back to alexandria.
"carl.." you quietly mumble, your voice hoarse. "i love you.."
"i love you, too." his voice is shaken. he runs a hand through his hair.
then everything went black.
...
you guys were lucky that alexandria was close to that mall. carl got you back to alexandria almost instantly after you blacked out.
he didn't even bother to park the car properly. he parked it on the side next to the gate and screamed for them to open up as he took you out of the back seat.
they opened the gates and he ran to the infirmary with you in his arms.
you were out for almost the whole day. they didn't think you were going to wake up. you weren't a very strong person, physically. there had been times in the past where you'd gotten injured and been bedridden for weeks because of it. but around midnight, you finally woke up.
carl didn't notice at first. his head was laying on the bed and his hand was holding yours. there were other people in the room. the nurse, rick, glenn, and maggie. glenn and maggie were chatting quietly while the others were resting.
you opened your eyes, but the pain from your wound quickly returned. you shot up, grabbing your side tightly with a yelp, which woke everyone up.
"fuck.." you gasped, throwing your head back on the pillow and shutting your eyes tightly.
"oh, my god." carl hugs you tightly, but carefully to not hurt you again. "i thought you were gonna die. you were so close to dying.. i'm so sorry."
you lifted your hand up to the back of his head, resting yours on his. "don't be sorry. you saved me." you smiled weakly.
"i should've kept you by my side. this is all my fault." you hear his voice break. he moves his hand up to your hair, running his hand through it.
"quit blaming yourself. if it wasn't for you, i would've still been on that pole, bleeding out to death." you pushed him away so you could look at his face. there were tears forming in his eye and he was shaking. "hey.. remember, you're my angel, right?"
he nods, a somber smile forming on his face as he tucks your hair behind your ear. "always."
you looked down and you spotted a bandage across his shoulder that had been bled through. you grabbed his arm, a bit below his shoulder so you could get a better look without hurting him. "did you get shot?" you asked, your expression softening.
he nods with a chuckle. "yeah.. i didn't notice until they finished patching you up. i think it happened right after you fell. i freaked out. i didn't think, i just started shooting at them."
"carl.." you move your hand back up to his face, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. you more your hand to the back of his head and move him to lay on your chest, hugging him. "thank you. so much." your voice cracked.
he moved his arms up to hug you back. "of course. i'd do anything for you, you know that right?" you could feel his smiling forming. "no matter what."
"i'd do anything for you, too." you kissed the top of his head before resting your head on his. "no matter what."
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#đ â maxines fics#carl grimes#carl grimes x y/n#carl grimes x reader#the walking dead#the walking dead x y/n#the walking dead x reader#twd#twd x reader#carl grimes angst#carl grimes oneshot#carl grimes fanfiction#carl grimes imagine
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i need you (2 of 2) | c. berzatto x reader
It was good when you started but Carmen Berzatto had the ability to make anyone fall in love with him no matter how much you tried not to...maybe this time he feels the same? (friends with benefits!carmen, smut, mndi!!!, unprotected p in v, smut! smut!, angst!! fluff, maybe some bad words, canon typical themes, unedited)
PART ONE / navigation
Sorry for the things I said.Â
I appreciate you.Â
He erases the messages that he wanted to send. It was temptingâŠ
The flowers he let die mocks him by the stove. It was a fire hazard he knew; but if this room burned down, would you come over to check if he was doing well?Â
His eyes look ahead, empty. Ever since that incident in the kitchen weeks ago, the Chefs have been on edge. Who wouldnât be? He was cutting away those vegetables like he just didnât cut his hand. He decided to forget about youâŠfor now. But it was hard, considering the fact that your artwork hung in The Bear like a mantlepiece. A mantlepiece for others but he sees it like a crufix and he, a sinner with no redemption. It mocks him of his mistakesâŠof what he said. Everything seemd to mock him.Â
Ever since that bloody incident in the kitchen a few days ago, Carmy made sure to never commit a mistake again. Every second counts, every second countsâŠevery second he counted was spent on you.Â
Were you alright? Were you in Chicago? Did you still need him? Or were you alright since he's finally out of your life?
Youâre so fucking miserable.Â
It rang in his head because he knew that it was true. He wasâis miserable. He made everyone around him just as miserable as he was. He could never grasp the intensity of his feelings; could never seem to grasp anything. He thinks to himself to just fuck it all and go to you and grovelâŠbut he just couldnât. He knew he wanted more. He was well aware of his feelings for you but to think that he made a mess of everything that he could ever have was hard to swallow.Â
Carmy has the habit of hiding from his allies. He canât control his emotions but sometimes, he bides his time hoping to fix it. He tries to wait for the perfect time to fix what he burned butâŠitâs been too long since you last saw each other. Itâs been too long since he sent you a message.
Would you still love me?Â
You werenât doing any better. Carmen, despite his refusal to love, was warm. Heâs the sun shining on a cold winter day; the warmth that spreads all over your body from the kiss that he leaves on your shoulder. You missed him dearly, but you couldnât have it in you to reach out first when it was him who didnât love you.Â
The realization of Carmen not loving you back was bearable at first but to see it right in front of your eyesâŠto be on the receiving end of his rejection was more than what you could comprehend.Â
In a span of those months without Carmen, you feltâŠlike there was a gaping Carmen Berzatto-shaped hole inside your heart that only he could fix. Youâve been in and out of Chicago to forget about him, but you couldnât. At the end of the day, you were just as miserable as when you first realized that you'd fallen for him. Was it asking for too much when you asked him to still be your friend? The more he pushed you away, the more you were convinced that you didnât matter to him at all.Â
Is it too late for me to love you?Â
Youâve been surrounding yourself with work; painting in your studio for what felt like years until you were sure that your fingers were gonna fall off.
If walls could talk, theyâd tell the world of Carmen Berzatto.Â
Youâve been purging yourself of anything Carmy and you found yourself painting every single food heâs ever made for you. It was all that you could do to relieve yourself of the sobs that choked you at night; when you didnât want to acknowledge that the man you loved didnât love you back. You should have been fineâyou were expecting this. You were anticipating this but you still wondered what it would be like to be loved by him. You still wondered what it would feel like to hold his hand in the streets of Chicago. You wondered how his hand would feel on your knee while he drives back home. You wondered what it felt like to be loved by him.Â
-
You were meeting some art collector todayâhe seems to be keen on commissioning you for your work and you accepted. He was supposed to arrive in Chicago to meet you and to try a new restaurant that everyoneâs been raving about. He said that he already had a reservation for three but he couldnât go and told you to meet with his art consultant, Isaac on his stead. Â
You shouldâve known from the context clues that youâll be landing in a place you didnât want to go to. You shouldâve been smarter because maybe, if you did, you wouldnât be sitting at The Bear, waiting for your frozen grapes and bone broth. Surprise was one word to describe Natalieâs face when she saw you.Â
âSo, how did you realize you wanted to pursue art?âÂ
âOh,â you licked your lips. âI guess, I wanted to pursue it all my life. It was something that I was good at andâŠand I canât really cook well. I liked how food was presented and how empty dinner plates look sometimes, you know. It didnât take long for me to collaborate with chefs and restaurants andâŠâ
âIs that your piece?â Isaac asked. âIâm sorry, I justâwow. Do you think the manager will let me come nearer to inspect it?â
You smiled at him.Â
âUm, yeah.â you nod. Richie comes by and stops by your table.
âGood evening, guys,â he greets. âY/N, itâs been a while.â
âHey, Rich,â you waved.
âWeâll get you started with frozen grapes in a minute,â he says. âHowâs your night? Didnât know Iâd find you here.â
âOh, this is Isaac. Isaac, Richie.â
Isaac stands up to shake Richieâs hand.
âDo you want to go see the painting? Itâs even more detailed up close,â Richie said, ushering Isaac to the painting. He throws you a look as if to ask for your permission but you just smiled at him. Your knee was bouncing under the table, trying to calm yourself down. Richie walks back to your table.Â
âYou know heâs not going to like that,â
âIâm in a business meeting,â you shrugged. âIsaac is an art consultant and his boss told us he couldnât come. Do you need to see my text messages?â
âI know, Iâm not fucking accusing you of anything. Donât be defensive,â Richie says, putting his hands up in surrender.
âSorry,â you mumbled. âBut had I known that we were going here, I wouldâve suggested another place. I donât want to be here either.â Richie looks for the object of your focus, seeing your eyes zero in on the painting you gave to Carmen.
âWe all love the painting. Carmy loves it. He looks at it every day before opening,â he offers but you only shrug. If he loved the painting so much, why didnât he text you? âYou shouldâve thrown it at me instead of throwing it at the back. Couldâve earned thousands on that one,â you chuckled, telling him that it probably would. He sees Isaac come back to the table after marvelling at your painting. Richie smiles tightly and tells him that starters will be served shortly.Â
-
âYo, Y/Nâs outside. We have to bring our A game!â Richie shouts in the kitchen. âMake her first time here an experience. Fak, make sure that the lamp over Y/N and Isaac isnât too hot and then, ask if you could serve them some drinks.â
âOkay,â Fak nods, fixing his hair to make sure that he was presentable. It takes a bit for Carmy to register what Richie was saying and he blinks.Â
âWait, hold up. Cousin. Whoâs here? Y/NâŠsheâs here?â Carmy asked, taking the teapot of bone broth. âWithâŠwith who?â
âIsaac,â Richie replied, he was watching Carmy fix his hair and his uniform. What an asshole.Â
âCarmy! Donât fuckingâgo,â Sydney whispers the last part, looking pointedly at Richie once Carmy leaves with the fucking teapot. âReally, Richie? Tonight? You want to play fucking games tonight?â she asked. âNeed I remind you of the bloody chopping board? Sweeps hasnât removed the stains out yet,â
âWhat?â he shrugs. âEveryoneâs been on edge since they stopped talking. Itâs nice to take a breather,â Richie saw the realization dawn on Sydneyâs face and he smirks. âRight, chefs! It will take Carmy two minutes to go do his alpha whatever fucking bullshit outside. Thatâs two minutes of easy time. Iâll need focaccia for Y/Nâs table after the fucking grapes. Make sure that the dishes are warm, chefs! Every second counts,â
-
âGood evening,â he greets, a tight smile on his face. He catches the way your smile falls slowly into a frown.Â
âCarmen,â you replied.Â
âFinally had the time to visit,â he says. âWith a date?â
âAh, no,â you replied. âIsaac is my customerâs art consultant and heâs uh,â
âHere to make a deal,â Isaac replied. âItâs an honor to meet you, Mr. Berzatto.â
âHereâs your broth with the-the grapes,â he says, shakily pouring it over the frozen grapes. âHope you, uh, enjoy the evening, Y/N. Isaac,â
He turns to leave but pauses.
âUm, sorry, Y/N can I have a word with you?â he asked. âPlease,â
You swallowed. âUmââÂ
Isaac saw your apprehension. âItâs okay. Youâre friendsâŠright? Iâll stay here,â
âSure. Iâll take two minutes. Iâm so sorry,â you apologized before letting him lead you to the kitchen. âHi, guys. Sorry for interrupting,â
âItâs fine,â Richie says, smiling at you sweetly.Â
âCarmy, we can talk later, okay? Your kitchen needs you,â you tried. Youâve been saying that to him even before your entrance to the kitchen, but he only shakes his head.Â
âJustâŠtwo minutes,â he says. âPlease,â
âCarmenâŠâ
âPlease,â he tried. He didnât really want his staff to see him grovel even though he knew that this was bringing them some sort of a sadistic joy.Â
âSorry, everyone,â you forced out, but Sydney was actually thankful to get Carmen out of the kitchen for a few minutes. If it was possible, Carmy was even more unreasonable. His standards were tip top. A second too long was a second too much. He and Sydney have been screaming at each other every night; the volume of their voices louder by the second.Â
You followed him into the office, being reminded of the hurtful words youâve said to each other. He locks the door, and runs a hand over his face.
âWhatâŠwhat are you doing here?â he scowls.Â
âIâm a paying customer. I can go wherever I want,â
âWith him? What are you doing here with him?â he asked, hands on his waist to show his impatience. You decided to make him wait and he does, urging you to answer by raising his eyebrows.Â
âI donât think it matters to you,â you replied. âI can go eat wherever I want. I can afford it,â
âIâm-Iâm not saying that you canât. Just-just tell me why here?â
âWhy are you so bothered? You canât question every guy you see me with, Carm,â you reasoned out. âYou told me you didnât love me. I donât think itâs necessary for you to still know where I go and who I spend time with.â He flinches at your tone. Youâve never talked to him like that before. You were always so gentle. So, for you to disregard him and not even give a reason why, an icy glare thrown his wayâŠwas mean.
âI can kick you out,â he spits. You scowl at him; heâs never been the subject of your anger and right now, you were seething.Â
âSo, kick me out,â you challenged him, meeting his eyes with the dort of ferocity that he never expected from you. He stays silent, looking at the floor. He didnât want you to hate him more than you already do. âI thought so,â
-
Urgent and demanding raps on your door broke you from your reviere. You liked painting in silence; it soothes you from the loudness of the world outside. You sighed, knowing immediately who was on the other side. Your breath was shaky, and you tried to walk slowly towards the door. What would you even say to him?Â
Carmy was a jittering mess on the other side. He couldnât get you out of his head ever since you visited The Bear a few days ago. He was watching from the other side after service, seeing you laugh at whatever Isaac said. He was making you laugh when that was reserved to Carmen aloneâŠmonths ago before he ruined everything he ever wanted. He waits with bated breath as you open the door. He used to be able to just come inside your house whenever he wanted. You used to wait for him with a small smile on your face. It is all gone now. You looked tired; like you didnât want him there at all.Â
âCan I come in?â he asked but he didnât miss the way you shielded your body with the door. He didnât miss the way your eyebrows furrowed slightly.Â
âSure.â Sure. Like you didnât have any other choice but to deal with him right now. Sure.Â
âThanks,â he licks his lips, putting his shoes on the side like he used to. Your home was clean but it was devoid of anything. The lights were barely on and the music that used to play from your vinyl was nowhere to be heard. Carmy used to tease you for being pretentious. Itâs too quiet inside your house right now.
âDo you want anything? Water?â
âNo, thanks,â he says, and you nod. âIâmâŠI justâI donât know why Iâm here,â
âI see,â you replied, looking anywhere but at him. âCan I help you?â
âUmâwho-who were you with the other day?â
âYou canât justâŠquestion or decide to drop by when you see me with someone else, Carm,â you said, voice low and careful. âHe was an art consultant,â
âWhy?â he asked, his eyes inviting you to look at him but you wouldnât budge. He knew why. He knew that he was an art consultant but something inside Carmy was telling him that the planning had been deliberate and that you went there with malice. To spite himâŠmake him jealousâŠit was narcissistic but what if?
âBecauseâŠbecause you donât love me,â you chuckled. There was something funny about not being loved back by a person who used to come to you at the smallest inconvenience. âYou donât love me but the first thing you do is to freak out. It was a work meeting and you freaked out. You donât love me, Carmy,â
âHow many times will-will you hold that over me?â he asked, frowning. âWhy are you acting like-like I did something wrong? You canât control how I feel, Y/N! Give it up!âÂ
âBecause I can and I want to, Carmen!â you exclaimed, chest heaving. Your throat constricted at his rejection. This was the second time. âI can and I want to hold that over you because Iâm hurt. I am hurt. You hurt me. You toss me away to the side and-and you expect me to be forgiving. You expect me to just understand,âÂ
âYou have to accept that IâŠdonâtâthat I donât love you that way,â he whispers, and it just breaks your heart because he still couldnât get it.Â
âIâm not asking you to love me back,â you croak, your eyes brimming with tears. âI donât want to tell you how to feelâor what to feel but you didnât even text me. You didnât ask me how I was doingâŠor -or said hi to me. YouâyouâŠI donât know. You just stopped.â
âWhy didnât you text me first?â
âBecause I told you how much you mattered to me. I told you that I love you. I thought that if I didnât text you, you'd miss me andâŠGod, Carmen. I would have been fine if you didnât love me back. It would have been fucking dandy. It would have been great if you could have justâŠtreated me like aâlike a friend, you know? I still wouldâve been there for youâŠbut you shut me out! You showed me just how little I mattered to you, Carm. Did you know thatâŠ? Youâyou treat me like how you treat everyone else when youâre the one who needs me. â
âYou doâyou matter to meâŠâ
âActions speak louder than words,â you spat, your arms crossed over your chest. âYou only text me first when you want a quick fuck. Iâm free tonight? Want to go? You canât even say that you want to have sex with me,â
Carmen was at a loss for words. He was hurt that youâd think that way of him when he thought the world of you. Did you really think that youâd matter to Carmen just because he wanted to fuck you?
âHey, donât-donât do that. That isnât fair to me. You know that-that you mean more to me than that. Youâre being unfair,â
âUnfair,â you chuckled, shaking your head. âIâm being unfair when youâre the one inside my home after seeing me with a guy that I am working with.â
âItâs my fucking restaurant! Itâs my goddamn restaurant,â he exclaimed, running his hand over his golden hair that you loved so much. âItâs my fucking goddamn restaurant!â
âAnd Iâm fucking telling you that I can do whatever I want!â you retorted, matching the intensity of his voice. âWhy do you care, Carmen?â you spit.
âDonât say my name like that.â
âLike what? Carm? Carmy? Bear? CarmenâŠAnthonyâŠBerzatto?â you taunt, the same venom dripping from your voice. He just never heard it from you before and it was an unpleasant feeling. âIâm notâŠIâm not going to let you push me around just because I love you, Carmy,â you shook your head.Â
Carmy stares at you, his face pinched in frustration and in sadness. He looks away, swallowing. He presses his hand over his chest to ground him. He didnât know if he should be mad at you for making him feel this way. Like he needs you all the time to be alright. He didnât know if he should be angry at himself for letting you lure him into your trap and your promises of warmth and love andâŠcontentment. All this time, he tried to convince himself that he didnât need anyone much less you for that matter.Â
âSay something,â you urged, looking at him desperately but he just shakes his head. You could feel itâfeel him detach himself from you. You could feel him cower, hide his feelingsâŠthe real reason why he was knocking on your door in the first place. âFucking say something, Carm! Tell me why youâre here,âÂ
He just stands there unmoving, blinking back any emotion. He wanted to store everything in his brain. He didnât want to feel anymoreâŠhe didnâtâŠÂ
âFucking hell,â you whispered shakily. âI donât know what you want from meâŠbut I canât go on like-like this! I canât open the door for you every time you knock. I canât answer every time you callâŠjustâŠplease, Carmy. Fucking say something.âÂ
Still, he stays silent.Â
A sardonic chuckle escapes your lips.Â
âLeave when you want to, I donât give a shit. JustâŠjust donât come inside my fucking studio, Carmen. I was expecting you to apologize to tell me that you still want to be friendsâŠI guess I thought I mattered to you more than that,â you told him, walking away. He just watches you go to your studio, hearing the sounds of your materials being thrown in different directions. It doesnât make him flinch; he just watches the fire burn.
Itâs time to go.Â
-
Carmen has been living in autopilot since his last visit. It was probably jealousy that prompted him to act like a jagoff but he wasnât ready to admit that. Instead, he was harder on himself, beating himself up over the smallest thingsâif a dice wasnât precise, it wasnât good enough. Food out for a second too long was cold. It was like reliving New York but he was the perpetrator. He was the one pushing his boundaries until he hated what he was doing and Carmy admits, it was not healthy.Â
But what else could he do? Cooking was the only thing he was good at and there was nothing else to do other than work.Â
That was a lie.Â
He sometimes spent hours rereading the messages you sent him. Youâd always text him to have a good dayâŠa funny photo that reminded you of himâŠ
He smiles at some of them, but itâs quickly replaced by the frown that etches on his face because he will never receive these messages from you. Isaac probably fucking does though. He grips his phone tightly in his hands; he hates that thought. He looks at his phone blankly, the message from you illuminating his face blue.Â
parm4carm? carmyggiano reggiano? carmensan hahahahahaha iâm at a meeting and i want to laugh because iâm thinking of things to add to your name
He didnât remember replying but he did remember the small satisfaction that the message brought him all day. You were thinking of him and you were trying to make him laugh; he tried his best to stop himself from smiling but Richie noticed it immediately.Â
âWhat the fuck are you smiling about?â he asked him but Carmy only flipped him off, turning around to stop Richie from seeing him.Â
He sighs. Itâs not like what you had wasnât fun. In fact, he was quite sure that it was the somewhat-only healthy relationship that he has. You both gave wach other space, you talked things through. When he started dating Claire, he went to your apartment first to tell you about her. You shrugged it off, not really minding who Carmy dated back then. When he apologized for not inviting you to the opening despite multiple protests from Richie and Sydney, you understood. When he stopped responding for a week, you showed up to his door with a pack of his favorite cigarettes and a box of doughnuts.Â
Looking back, did he ever do anything for you?
âCarmy, you good?â Sugar asked. He was more standoffish; he smokes more, and he doesnât speak much. Itâs always only a grunt or a âyeah yeah.â
âOh,â Carmy says, blinking. âYeah, Iâm good.â
âCarmyâŠâ Sugar tries. âYou know you can tell me anything, right?â
âYeah, I know,â he nods. âIâŠIâm just thinking, you know? Like-like, I fuck everything up and-and Iâm aware of it,â he says. âI know that what Iâm doing isnât right butâŠyou know, I-I always have this dream of a fireâŠand I just watch it burnâŠâÂ
Sugar nods, trying to coax out the lump in Carmyâs throat.
âI wonder if I just donât speakâŠwill they understand me? I canât fuck things up again just because I have no cell reception. What if that happens again?â he asked, frowning. âFuck,â
âDo you think sheâs distracting? You donât have to do anything you donât want to,â
âBut IâŠI want to,â he says, his hand pressed on his chest. âI want to, Nat but I canât,â
âYouâre a pain in the ass, Carmy. Go talk to the girl,â she smiles and Carmy could only nod because maybe Nat was right. If he could justâŠtalk to you without jumping on your throat and without blinking, there like a fucking idiot.Â
Thatâs an easy job, right?Â
-
âIâve been thinking about-about us, and I just want to say that Iâm sorry and that IâŠFuck!âÂ
He was walking like a madman inside his apartment, on the verge of texting you about how Isaac chewed with his mouth open. You told him you hated people who chewed with their mouths openâloud and wet. He saw your favorite cereal on sale the other day. He almost wanted to ask you if you were aware that it was marked down. Should he get you a few boxes? What about three? He just wanted to know. Would youâŠwould you come over if he let his kitchen burn? Would you come over if you saw the dead flowers that dried up because he couldnât find it in himself to throw them away. It was the last piece of evidence that he wanted to go. Would you even accept his dead flowers now that your name was on every art forum? You probably like cereal and milk with fucking gold leaves and fig.
He knows that you didnât like it when he looked sad but when he visited you, did you notice the way his shoulders slumped? Because he noticed the shallowness of your breathing, the taps on the floor, the pause before you opened the door for him. He noticed the way you blinked back the tears that he threatened to spill because he was cruel. He knewâŠhe knew that he was cruel but would you still forgive him if he ran up to you now?
The cereal you like is marked down at the store. Do you want some?Â
The vibration in your pocket stops you from talking to the guy who just offered to buy you your coffee.Â
âSorry,â you smiled sheepishly. âLet me justâŠget this,âÂ
Your hands slightly trembled when you saw the message that Carmy just sent. It was an odd olive branch but what if you were looking into things again? What if he was just trying to have sex again?Â
Iâm sorry for the things that I said.Â
Can we talk?Â
âHey, hey,â the guy says. You didnât even know his name. âAre you alright?â
âUh? Yeah, no-yeah, I am. Sorry,â you replied, locking your phone and putting it in the back pocket. âWhat was it?â
âOh, I was wondering if-if you want coffee?â
âIâŠalready ordered, though,â you replied. âAdvanced order and Iâm just waitingâŠâ
The guyâs face falls, and you smile timidly.Â
âSorry,â you offered.Â
âNo, that's fine,â he shrugs. âI shouldâve known or something,â
âNo, thanks. Um, yeahâŠâ
The barista calls for your name on the counter and you smile at him before leaving. You rushed out of the cafĂ© without another word, coffee in your hand and Carmenâs message in your backpocket.Â
The Readïżœïżœlabel was putting Carmen in a spiral. You read the message twelve fucking minutes ago, why werenât you replying? He was popping the joints on his knuckles, watching the phone closely until you replied.Â
what time do you close?Â
can we go to your apartment instead?
He lets go of a breath he didnât realize he was holding. He texts you to just enter the apartment since you still have the keys, completely forgetting about the flowers near his stove.
-
When you entered his apartment, you were greeted with the bareness of it all, save for the dried flowers on the stove. You frowned, walking towards it. Carmy didnât need flowers⊠Besides, this was a fire hazard. Was he okay?
You turned over the card attached and took a sharp breath.Â
Let it rip. Iâm so proud of you.Â
Love, Carm
Was this deliberate? Did he plan this all out to get you to forgive him? You turned away, trying to forget the note that he was meant to give you. You sat on his couch instead, settling on the corner and flipping through the channels on his cable. You wanted something to fill the silence so that when he comes, you wouldnât have to try to make up for it by saying something stupid like the weather in Chicago.Â
You settled on some reality show, looking at the screen with your eyes glazed over when you heard someone mess with the lock. You looked over, watching Carmy in his grey sweater. He tossed the backpack to the side and his shoes were laying somewhere. You saw this scene beforeâmultiple times but the undertone was different.Â
âHi,â
âHey,â
âUmââ
âI hope youâŠyou donât mind me watchingââ
Carmyâs eyes flicks to the stove and realization dawns on his face.Â
âFuck, fuck. Sorryâyou, ah, werenât supposed toâŠâ he puts the flowers in the cupboard hastily, some leaves falling. âSee that,â
âYeahââ
âUm, Iâll justâŠâ
âYeah,â
He nods, blinking, before stalking to his bedroom. He locks the door behind him and heaves. Fuck. He shakes his head entering the bathroom to wash the day away.Â
You couldn't focus anymore. Why was he so ashamed of the flowers he got you? You swallow the thickness down your throat. Were you intruding if you got yourself a glass of water? Carmy goes out of the bedroom a few minutes later, fresh and clean. He looks at you and heads to the kitchen. You donât move.
He comes back with a glass of water for you, laying it down on the coffee table and then sitting beside youâas far as he could because he didnât know where you stood right now. What boundaries can he cross?
âThanks,â you smiled at him, taking a huge gulp of the cold water. âUmâŠâ
âShitâI don't know what to say,â he says, folding his hands on his lap.
âWe canâŠwe can start with what we said,â you replied slowly. âIâŠâ
âIâm sorry,â
âCarmââ
âIâm sorry. I didnât take-I didnât take your feelings into consideration and IâŠI hurt you,â he says, looking down. You were both sitting straight ahead, the TV illuminating your faces. It felt like a thick wall was between you two and that it was up to you to break it. âI justâŠI donât know. I canât keep on doing shitty things and then-then, feeling bad about myself but IâŠI spent my life trying to-to understand mom and Miâkey,â he chokes. âI guess I donât want to understand anyone else anymore because I wouldnât be able to but Iâbut youâre not anyone else.âÂ
âI fucked up,â he says. âWhen I was with ClaireâŠI was locked in the fucking freezer because I had no cell reception. I donât want thatâŠbut I donâtââ
âWhat do you want, Carm?â you asked.Â
âI want toâI wantâŠI,â
âIâm sorry for calling you miserable and unreliable,â you told him. âI was hurt and Iâm sorry for uh, holding things over you. Itâs not your fault that I caught feelings. It wasnât fair to justâŠexpect you toâŠlove me, you know? Wasnât fair,â
âNo, I was a shitty friend. I shouldnât have let you go like that,â
âYeah,â you nod. You heard him shift in his seat, legs crossed over each other and facing you. You glanced and did the same.Â
âI got you your cereal,â A small smile.Â
âYeah?â A beat.
âLike four boxes.âÂ
âIâll be sick of them,â you teased.
âI know but maybe youâd hate that instead,â A confession.Â
âI donât hate youâŠâÂ
âYou donât?â he asked. âWhyâŠIâm really sorry. I donât want toâŠIâm really fucking sorry,â
âWhat do you want, Carm?â you asked, a brave hand on his knee. âTell me what you want,â
âPlease,â
âAnd weâll make it work,â
âI want everything. But IâŠI donâtâŠItâs funny. A fridge started Claire and Iâs relationship. A fridge ended it too. Iâm sorry for bringing her upâŠbut I never felt like I was deserving ofâŠof happiness and I,â he blinks, eyes pinching at the bitterness of every word that rolled off his tongue. âWho the fuck said I could be in a relationship? I am the best because I was focused and IâŠI had cell reception and I didnât have the bullshit of understanding feelings. I donât need amusement or enjoymentâŠIâŠno amount of good was worth it, you know? I thought-thought that it was a complete waste of my fucking time but I crave for it,â
âAndâŠI donât know. I failed them and IâŠI donâtââ he heaves. He has to let it all out if he wanted to make things right. âIâm scared that if IâŠjump in, you know? I fuck everything up again. My staff hates me, I hate me, and youâŠyou hate me too. I donât want to lose cell reception and IâŠI donât need enjoyment but I need you. I need you with me all the time but what if you getâsick of me and push me away like Mikey did? What ifâŠwhat if you learn to hate me? I need you and I donât know if I can handle it if weâif we just stopped talking and I did. I stopped talking to you because it would have hurt me more if you decided to end things like thatâŠIâm sorry,â
âIâm justâŠI fuck up everything that I touch, and I know that Iâm miserable and Iâm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. Iâll take that with me to the grave. Iâm so fucking sorry,â he says, a hand pressed on his chest, like he was protecting it. The barrier that you had to strike down. A gentle hand takes his, interlacing your fingers with his calloused ones. It makes him flinch, but he accepts the gesture.Â
âIâm sorry you feel that way,â you smiled and Carmy could just cry because it was the same thing that Claire had told him. What was the guarantee that it was different this time? âBut Carmy, you have to understand that IâŠI donât want to hurt you or-or distract you from being the best. I want you to be the bestâŠâ
âIs the bestâŠenough?â he asks. âIf I lose you?âÂ
âThatâs a question you have to answer for yourself, Carm,â you offered. âIâm selfish. I canâtâI donât want to be the reason why you learn to hate me just because I told you to choose me and I donât want you to choose. I want you toâŠbe the best and beâbeâŠâ
âI need you,â
âI know but IâŠâ I want you to love me.Â
âI touch everything and I burn everythingâŠRichie and IâŠI feel so bad about the things I said to him and I fucking hate that I canât control anything. My life is so fucked up and Iââ he stops, looking at you for the first time that night. âI just wish to just let the everything burn and then it will all go away but I need you to watch it burn with me,â
He still hasnât said what you wanted to hear from him. He still hasnât said anything.Â
âI love you,â
You stop your breathing.Â
âCarmâdonât say that just for the sake of saying it,â you begged, pulling him away from him and standing up. âDonât say that if you donât-donât mean itâŠyou're just being mean,â
âI do,â
âCarmy,â you whispered. âYou didnât love me months ago. What made you love me now?â you asked. âIâm not invalidating your feelings or-or whatever but I need you to understand that Iâve been loving you for months. I loved you after you broke up with Claire and we drank wine many months ago, but you didnâtâŠdo you love me because you need me?â
âNo!â he says. âI love you and I need you. Iâve beenâharboring these feelings but I canâtâŠI canât say anything and Iâm so, so scared that if I donât say anything now, then everything will just be a big fucking shit show and then, Iâll lose you forever. Iâm so scared because what if we donât work and-and you decide that I do make you miserable? What then?â
âWhat if we work out?âÂ
âThatâs worse because then Iâd know that Iâve been holding myself back for nothing,â
âIâm confused, Carm. What do you want?â you asked, shaking your head.
âYou and IâŠtogether,â he replied. âOnly if you want to. I donât want to make you feel like-like Iâm,â
âCan you say that again?â
âWhat?â
âWhat do you feel for me,â you begged. âIâve beenâŠIâve been waiting months for you to tell me those words and I just have to make sure that Iâthat Iâm hearing you correctly,â
âI love you,â he says. âI love you, I love you, I love you,â he repeats the same words over and over again and you feel your eyes brim with tears because this is what you wantedâthis is what youâve always wanted to hear. He stands up and walks over to you, covering his arms around your frame. âIâm sorry for making you feel like I didnât,â
âCarmyâŠâ you trailed off. âIâm sorry for the things that I said,â
âIâm sorry too,â he says. âBut itâs okayâŠconsider everything forgotten,â he kisses your temple and checks on you. âWeâre okay, baby. Weâre okay,â
âI missed you,â
âI missed you too,â he says, ducking his head so his lips could meet yours. âI miss you,â he mumbles, cradling your head with his two hands. He kisses you fervently, like he was thirsty and you were the fountain of life. âMm,â
âCarmâŠâ you whine when he lets you go. You push him to the couch, his legs open wide as he watches you. âI want to show you how much I missed you,â
âYeah?â he rasps, tapping his lap. âCome here, baby,â
You nod, watching his chest rise and fall in anticipation. You settle yourself on his lap, legs on either side. His hands immediately find your waist, clutching your body through the soft material of your shirt. You tug on his shirt to bring him closer to you, kissing him slowly. Your hands find themselves tugging on his hair, your hips rocking softly against his clothed crotch.Â
âFuck,â he grunts, hips meeting your subconsciously and you giggle at his anticipation.Â
âCarm!â you chuckled, lips trailing down to his jaw. He likes that you never fail to leave love bites where everyone can see. He sighs deeply when you suck on the spot he liked so much. You could feel him harden under his joggers, itching for release. When you are done, you smile at him, pecking him on the lips before removing his shirt completely. He sucks in a breath when your soft hands run over his chest. âI missed you,â
âI missed you too,â he rasps, tugging on your shirt. You oblige, removing the piece of clothing entirely. His mouth waters at the sight of your naked torso. You rub your heat against his cock, the both of you moaning because of the pleasurable friction. It was slow and deliberate at first but you were soon mewling, his mouth on yours. His tongue pushes past against your lips, swirling with one another. âRemove everything, pleaseââ
You nod, standing in front of him to strip yourselves of what remained between the two of you. Carmy, runs his hand on your waist, looking up at you with need. You run your hands through his hair while you let him kiss every part of your body that he could kiss. You sigh at the contact of his warm lips against your body, settling yourself back on his lap but this time, with less restraint. His hand immediately finds your cunt, fingers working to flick your clit. You whimpered when you felt his fingers prod your entrance.
âYeah,â he nods. âFuck yourself with my hand,â
âCarm,â you whine, bouncing slightly. Your hand finds the tip of his cock and his hips jerks, at the contact.Â
âYouâre so fucking perfect,â he says, looking up at you with his eyes half-lidded. He removes his fingers inside you and sucks on them. âYou always taste so sweet,â
You couldnât choke out any reply. So instead, you put your hands on either of his shoulders, slowly sinking on his cock.Â
âFuuuuck,â he says, his head falling on the sofa. âFuck,â
âCarmy,â you said, rolling your hips against his own slowly. âYouâre soââ
âGood,â he says, watching his member disappear inside you completely. He could feel your wetness on his thighs, and it kills him. âIâm gonna make you mine,â he says, pinching your nipple.
âCarmy!â
âYou like it?â he asked, his head inching closer. He flicks his tongue over the sensitive bud while you ride him. He bites on it and you flinch. He feels your walls clench around him when he does that, so he tries it on your other nipple.Â
âCarm,â you whined, âFuckââ
The moans that emitted from his mouth vibrated on your chest. He was continuously sucking and licking your nipple, pinching and twisting it with his rough hands while you gyrated against him. His cock fills you up differently and you let his hips thrust upwards, hitting a certain soot inside of you.Â
He gives up the need to control, letting you part away from him. You stand up, repositioning yourself to finallyâ
âFuck!â he groans, not expecting the sudden feeling of your tight, wet walls wrapping his girth. The tip was just teasing your wntrance a few second ago. His head falls back, arms wrapped around your waist while you bounce on his cock. âFuck, fuck,â
âCarmyâŠâ you moan. âKiss me,â
He does what was told, capturing your lips with his. His tongue parts your already open mouth, his arms snaking around gour waist to keep you closer. You whimper, hands holding either side of his neck and you grip slightly.
âMm,â he groans, breaking away from you. Your pace was speeding up, the sound of skin slapping against skin filling his apartment. âFuck,â
You smiled at him, constricting his airways a little tighter.Â
âIâm soâfuckâoh,â he chokes out. His hips stutter against you, cock filling you up completely and he feels your walls clench around him. âclose.â
âBaby, baby, babyâŠâ he sighs, the pressure too much for him. âIâll make you mine. Iâll make you mine,âÂ
âI love you,â you mewled, head falling when he plays with your sensitive buds again. âI want to be yours, Carm,â
He meets your wet pussy with his cock in sloppy thrusts. Your bodies were moving in motion, desperate for that releaseâthat closeness after months of being away from each other. Carmy was holding you so close, grunting and groaning under you.Â
âFuck, I fucking loveâoh,â his voice breaks and he comes undone. Your walls clench around his gushing member, thrusting inside to chase your high. Your movements slow down, his head on your shoulder. A beat passes with heavy breathing. He peeks. âAre you okay?â
âYeah,â you nod, removing yourself from him. âAre you?â
He nods, pushing your hair away from your face.Â
âI love you, you know that?â
âYeah,â
âLetâs get you cleaned up. What do you want for breakfast tomorrow?â
âI think cerealâs good.â
-
A/N: First and foremost, Iâd like to thank you guys for the overwhelming love and support that you showed in chapter one. Your comments and reblogs all motivated me to write chapter 2 the best that I can and I hope that you love this chapter as much as the previous one. As always, donât forget to comment or reblog your thoughts! Iâd love to know what you thought about this one.
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What They'd Do for a First Date (Axis, Allies, & Nordics)
Something very quick because I just really wanted to get this idea out there. Also, I'm spending more and more time on my 2p!Prussia x Reader fic, but I wanted to make sure the rest of y'all are being fed.
So here are my headcanons on where I think a large chunk of the Hetalia boys would do for a first date!
Italy: While Feliciano's down for pretty much anything, he'd want to make sure the first date is something special. As such, he'd plan a nice, romantic dinner for the two of you where he cooks the food.
Germany: Ludwig would want to have the date at his house where you'd bake something together. He'd rather make either cake or bread. But he'd be open to hearing your ideas on what the two of you can bake.
Japan: I can see Kiku taking you to a painting class. Nothing super fancy or advanced, but something small, simple, and fun. Something where the two of you can delve into your creative side.
Prussia: Gilbert would 100% take you to the movies. He'd be down for seeing whatever you wanted to see, though he's more partial to action/adventure films. However, he wouldn't be opposed to horror, as he likes the idea of you getting scared and holding onto him.
Romano: Lovino will take you on a long walk around Rome sightseeing. He'd be pointing out every last bit of architecture you see and would recite a full history of everything. He's also the kind of guy to wanna take you on a boat ride.
America: Two words; amusement park. Alfred will absolutely take you to an amusement park or a state fair where you'd eat all kinds of fried foods, go on all of the rides, and, if it's a state fair, take you to the petting zoo. He'd also stress over planning the perfect kiss at the top of the Ferris wheel where the two of you'd watch the fireworks.
England: A first date with Arthur would be at a bookstore similar to that of Barnes and Noble. He'd want to look at different books with you and then chat about them over a cup of tea at an adjoining cafe.
France: I know it's kinda cliche at this point, but Francis would bring you to a fancy restaurant for a romantic, candle-lit dinner. Preferably in an area of the restaurant that is somewhat secluded. Hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it!
Russia: Ivan would simply want to go for a walk. Nothing big and fancy. He's perfectly content with something quiet and simple. He'd want to just stroll around town and chat about any of your shared likes or hobbies.
China: Maybe this is a little funny, seeing as he's so old, but Yao would take you to a museum. Mainly to constantly fact-check the workers there, as well as the displays. Especially if it's a Chinese museum. He's been around for 4000+ years, honey. He knows more than the people who work there.
Canada: Okay, this can go one of two ways. Matthieu would either take you on a nature walk through the beautiful Canadian woods, or he'd take you to a hockey game. Either way, the night will end with the two of you going in for a kiss, only to get interrupted by Mr. Kumajiro.
Denmark: I know this is gonna sound ridiculous, but Mathias would absolutely take you to the Lego Store. There is no way you can convince me that this man doesn't love Legos. He'd get cute little minifigures made of the two of you.
Sweden: I can see Berwald either being content with sitting at home and drinking hot cocoa, going to a musical performance of some kind, or, dare I say it, going to an IKEA and talking about what pieces of furniture would look the best in his or your living room.
Norway: Lukas would take you out into the woods late in the evening for the two of you to stargaze. He'd point out different constellations and tell you the stories behind them.
Finland: Alright, we all know Tino's a cutie, but don't let that adorable face deceive you. A first date with this man will either end up with him taking you to a heavy metal concert, or taking you out sharpshooting.
#aph#hetalia#aph x reader#hetalia reader insert#hetalia x reader#aph reader insert#hetalia axis powers#aph headcanons#hetalia headcanons#hws#hws headcanons#aph italy#aph germany#aph japan#aph romano#aph prussia#aph america#aph england#aph france#aph china#aph russia#aph canada#aph denmark#aph sweden#aph norway#aph finland
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Before charmed slasher Simon revealed his true identity, what were movie nights like? Iâd kill for a lil section on them almost cuddling on the couch while watching a scary movie and Simon absolutely adoring when you jump and scooch closer to him on instinct đ„čđ„č please charlie I beg you đ
*Checks notes, chats with The Council* Yeah okay... we can do that.
CW for a bit of somnophilia and Simon being a creep!!
You open the door looking like some kind of pastry with too-big eyes. Soft, cream-colored pair of joggers and a thin pink jumper, so fuzzy he just knows he'll find fluff on him after this. You look so cozy and sweet; he wants to put a pretty belled collar on you. Maybe watch you curl up in a nest of blankets, safe behind the bars of a cage.
But maybe not, he muses as you chirp a greeting, taking his hand to tug him into your apartment. A lamb inviting a wolf to the pen. He likes you best like this, all loose limbed and free to roam. Thinks maybe you'd lose some of that mischievous glint if he locked you up.
The collar though... he'd like to hear it ring as you bounce around him.
"I am the bestest friend ever," you declare, squeezing calloused fingers so much bigger and crueler and blood-stained than your own. "You know why?"
He arches an eyebrow. Your impish smile widens with delight. "Why's that, luv?"
"Well, you know that one place you wanted last week, but they were closed?"
He grunts and nods. Last week was your choice to pick the movie, which mean he was in charge of dinner.
"Well... they're still closed for repairs but! I talked to the owner, who talked to his mum, and she gave me the recipe for that dish you like. So guess what I did!"
He stares at you for a moment, teeth aching his jaw with the urge to sink them into soft flesh. Mark you as his. How the hell are you real? How the hell are you here?
When he's silent a beat to long, you click your tongue.
"You're no fun - I tried to make it," you explain.
Only then does he become aware of the scent in your apartment. Garlic and red meat and savory spices. His mouth fills with saliva as he focuses his attention on you again.
"Smells great, luv," he says, flicking the corner of his mouth up.
You beam. "Hopefully it's good! I tried it first and it seems alright, but I'm not sure it's as good as the restaurant."
It's almost not a conscious thought to snap his arm out and scoop you up, dragging you in against his chest. You yelp initially, but it devolves into a little giggle as you flatten your palms against his chest.
"Thank you, luv."
Every time he comes into your home, it's a struggle not to keep you. Not to take this place for himself, keep you for his own among all your pretty, soft things. Blood washes out; he'd show you how.
"Rileyyyy!" you mock-whine, pushing at him. "C'mon, before it gets cold."
He wants to make a comment about eating you. Simon thinks he could survive a winter on your taste alone. Instead he lets you on your feet, eases his snake-like grip around your waist. You cast him one last, warm look and skip off to the kitchen to fill bowls with food.
"So what movie are we watching?" you call.
"You ever seen Sinister?" he asks.
You make an annoyed noise. "You know I haven't!"
"Well, that's what we're watching."
You appear with a full, steaming bowl and a beer, shoo him to the couch with a little kick to his ankles. "Get it set up while I finish serving."
"Bossy thing," he tuts, voice a little too low for teasing.
The bridge of your nose darkens with a flush, but you make a cheeky little face in return. "Someone's gotta keep you in line!"
You're gone before you can hear the rumble in his chest. Some days he could swear you know what you're doing; that you know just what sort of animal you're poking at. That you're seeing just how much you can prod before he springs.
He tries not to imagine that cheeky, smug little smirk going all wet-eyed and desperate with lust. Sits to hide the bulge forming in his pants and sets up the movie.
You saunter out with your own, less-filled bowl and a glass of white wine. Take one look at the screen and shoot him an exasperated look.
"I should have known," you complain.
"Literally called Sinister, luv."
"Yeah, I know," you lament.
As soon as the movie starts you're curling into his side, eyes huge. Meal forgotten in your lap.
"Oh, no," you whisper, tilting your face to give him a pleading look. "I can't eat like this!"
"Eat quick, luv. You'll have a break after this first part.â
You do as youâre told; take a big sip of wine when youâre done - just in time for the first jumpscare. You save the wine but quickly put it away, shrinking down against the cushions.
âYouâre mean, awful, terrible,â you mumble, fumbling a blanket off the back of the couch.
ââS not very nice,â he snorts, licking his fork clean. Youâd made it quite well for a first time. Not necessarily as good as the restaurantâs but better for you having made it special for him.
âYouâre not very nice,â you reply, going stiff with fear as the âhome moviesâ start playing. âNo no no, fuck all of that.â
As soon as heâs set his bowl aside, youâre clinging in his arm. Bicep squished against your breasts, little fingers curling hard into flesh. He hopes youâll leave cute little bruises. Your eyes are huge trained on the tv, bottom lip caught between your teeth.
âHoly shit,â you squeak, hiding your face.
Chuckling, he nudges at you. âUh uh, no hiding. Câmon, Iâm right here.â
You whimper and snuggle in even closer, wedged up against his ribs, leaning into him. Nearly climb into his lap when the creature starts moving on the screen, hands flapping.
âFuuuuuck that,â you whine, âheâs so fucked oh my god.â
Simon chuckles, setting his other hand on your thigh. Indulges in stroking his thumb over the inseam of your joggers. You barely even seem to notice, engrossed in fear.
By the end, youâre fanning yourself of the panic, shooting him a look thatâs meant to be accusing but mostly just owlish.
âYou have to make it up to me,â you declare.
Oh, he could think of a dozen ways to do that.
âYeah?â he rumbles. âWhat do you need?â
âWeâre watching something else. My pick this time.â You pause, shoot him a worried look. âCan you stay for another?â
He smirks. âCouldnât kick me out if you tried, luv.â
You really couldnât. Because youâre adorable when youâre scared. Look like something to ruin. But the aftermath is almost better. When your body melts into warmth and (false) safety. The anxiety drains away, leaving you sleepy and pliable. Youâll fall asleep within the hour.
And you do. Clue playing (subtitles on) youâre snoozing against his shoulder before long. He waits until the movie ends for plausible deniability, then takes you to bed. You hardly stir, save to press your nose against his collar with a little hum.
He eases you out of your joggers, eyes flickering at the pretty lace clinging to your hips. Tiny little bows at the sides.
Snuffs out the bedside lamp and fishes his fully-hard cock from his pants. He teases his free hand along your inner thigh, over the lace front of your panties. Scrapes his nail a bit where your clit is hidden. Nearly purrs when you moan softly, wiggling on the mattress to open your thighs wider, still out cold.
Fucks his other hand vicious and brutal, relishing the slight dry pain. Fast and hard, already worked up from having you trembling against him for over an hour. It doesnât take long to fall over that edge, the memory of your squeaks and cries finishing him off.
He covers the sensitive, angry tip as he cums, no matter how much he wants to paint you with his spend. He takes a deep breath as the pleasure courses through him, twitching through aftershocks. Cracks his neck as he peeks your peaceful expression.
Canât help himself. Smears his wet thumb over the front of your panties. Nothing youâll notice in the morning, but youâll spend all night with him marking your cunt. Maybe even all day tomorrow.
He should go.
Ends up gently, carefully, glossing your bitten bottom lip with a drop of cum as well. Gets rock hard all over again when your tongue flicks out at the sensation, tasting. Still unconscious. You roll over with a sleepy sigh and curl up.
Simon pulls the blankets over you and returns to the living room to clean up from dinner. Heâs not yet willing to slink back to his den.
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Once More to See You - DBF! Joel Miller x Female Reader No Outbreak AU
Explicit; Minors DNI 18+ only.
Summary: Joel knew exactly how to drive you wild, make you forget everything but the sensation of him; make you forget he was breaking your heart.
Word count: 2.5K
Warnings: POSSIBLY DUBCON as reader has been drinking (also tagged), P in V sex, ANGST, smut, secret relationship, praise kink, dirty talk, cream pie, heartbreak, Joel is kind of a dick, dbf!joel, au!joel, no outbreak!joel. Legal age gap (reader is early 20s, and Joel is 56). No use of Y/N. Mood board for aesthetics only; reader's features aren't specified other than Joel can pick them up.
A/N: Posting this a day late as I literally only started writing it yesterday out of nowhere. Enjoy!
Joel's annual fourth of July party was in full swing. Children were running around with sparklers, families were gathered around picnic tables laden with food, and the air was filled with music. Tommy was in control of the music, so of course, AC/DC and Lynard Skynrd had been playing all day. The smell of grilling burgers and hot dogs wafted through the air, mingling with the scent of freshly mowed grass and the tang of chlorine from the pool.
You spotted Joel near the grill, expertly flipping burgers and chatting animatedly with your dad. You felt a flutter of excitement, eager to see him after your lastâŠhangout. As you approached, he glanced your way but quickly looked away, focusing intently on the food.
"Hey, Joel," you called out, trying to sound casual despite the nervous anticipation in your voice.
"Hey," he replied, not meeting your eyes, his tone brisk. He immediately turned to your dad, asking about the game they were planning to watch tomorrow.
You hovered nearby, hoping for a chance to talk, but every time you tried to engage him, he found a way to sidestep your attempts. First, he asked another guest to grab more buns from the kitchen. Then, he excused himself to check on the drinks. Each time you approached, he either walked away or started a conversation with someone else.
Determined not to give up, you followed him to the drinks table, where he was refilling the coolers with ice and beverages. "Joel, can we talk for a minute?" you asked, keeping your voice low.
"I'm busy right now," he said curtly, not even glancing up. He continued to work, his movements tense and hurried.
Your frustration grew as the party continued. You watched him from across the yard, perched on a bench gripping your solo cup tightly as he laughed and chatted with everyone else while avoiding you like the plague. You noticed the way he stiffened whenever you were nearby, how he seemed to find any excuse to move away from you.
âHey, loner,â your friend Kayleigh slid in next to you, nudging your side. You didnât answer.
âUm⊠youâŠoka-.â
âNot right now, Kay,â you answer abruptly, standing up to get yourself another drink. You downed it in one to try and quell the unease sitting in your stomach. Although it just made you feel even more sick. Something was up.
The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm golden glow and someone had started setting up fireworks for later. Joel had just left the grill, heading toward the house with a tray of empty dishes. This was your chance. With a few more drinks in your system, you'd found the courage to quickly follow him, catching up as he reached the back door.
"Joel, we need to talk. Now," you said firmly, grabbing his arm to stop him.
He looked around, clearly uncomfortable, his eyes darting to make sure no one was watching. "Not here," he muttered.
You tailed him into the kitchen.
He began absent-mindedly washing up some dishes with his back to you.
"Alright, whatâs going on? Why have you been ignoring me all day?" you demanded, crossing your arms over your chest trying to sound confident.
âHow much have you had to drink?â He said, ignoring your question.
âNot a lot,â you retorted, heat rising up your body.
âThatâs a fuckinâ lie,â he scoffed in his southern drawl.
âOh, so I'm the bad person now, huh?â You replied a little too loudly. âIâm just some silly little girl who doesnât know anything, running around after you, wondering when you might fuck me next!â
Joel threw a dish into the sink with a loud clatter, making you jump. He turned to face you, his eyes flashing. "You think this is easy for me?" he hissed, keeping his voice low but intense.
Before you could respond, the kitchen door swung open.
"Hey, you two!" Tommy greeted cheerfully, oblivious to the tension. "Just grabbing another drink. Everything okay in here?"
"Yeah, just fine," Joel replied dryly, turning away from you to look out at the yard.
Tommy lingered momentarily, grabbing a drink from the fridge and chatting casually about the party. âWeâre settinâ the fireworks off soon,â he said smugly with a toothy grin.
âOh, great.â You feigned excitement, trying to act normal, but your heart pounded.
The moment he was gone, Joel turned to you, his eyes fixed. "We can't do this here," he said through gritted teeth.
You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice. "Then where? When? You can't just avoid me forever, Joel."
Joel sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Fine. Upstairs. Now." Without waiting for a response, he turned and headed toward the stairs, tugging you along by your arm.
You struggled to keep up with him as his heavy boots marched up the stairs; the drink made coordinating your feet very difficult.
Joel turned to face you once you were in his all-to-familiar bedroom with the door closed behind you.
âThis needs to stop,â he said sternly.
Your heart dropped at his words. "Stop what? Us?"
"Yes. Us. Itâs wrong, and itâs only goinâ to end badly. For both of us." He placed his hands on his hips.
"But we make each other happy. Isnât that enough?" You said franticly.
"Itâs not that simple," his voice strained. "Your dad⊠if he ever found out⊠it would be such a mess.â
You shook your head, tears pricking at your eyes. "But he doesnât have to find out. Weâve been so careful. Please, JoelâŠI love you,â you sobbed as he pulled you into his chest. He wrapped his arms around you tightly as your fingers twisted in his plaid shirt. The warmth radiating from his body seeped into your bones like a cruel comfort.
"Shhh, I know, baby, itâs okay." Joel hushed, stroking your hair. âIt's just so complicated.â
âI donât careâ you pulled back, searching his eyes for any sign that he might change his mind. But all you saw was resignation.
"Please," you whispered, your voice breaking. "Don't do this."
He cupped your face in his hands. âYou deserve better than this. Better than sneakinâ around and hidinâ. You deserve someone who can give you everything.â
"But I don't want anyone else," you cried, tears streaming down your face. God, you probably looked like a blabbering mess. "I want you."
Joel closed his eyes, pain etched into his features. "And I want you, too. More than you know. But this... it ain't right, darlinâ,â and there is was; his velvet drawl reeling you in again. He pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, and something inside you snapped. The finality of his touch felt like a betrayal. You shoved him back with all your strength, your hands shaking with anger and hurt.
"Don't you dare!" You shouted, your voice trembling with rage. "Don't you fucking dare tell me what's right for me. You don't get to decide that."
Joel just stood there and took it.
âI wish I never fucking met you,â you muttered.
You pushed him again, harder this time. "I wish I never fucking met you!â You repeated.
Joel's expression hardened, and in an instant, he grabbed your arms, backing you up against the wall with a force that knocked the breath out of you. Your eyes were wide as his burned into you, and for a moment, you were actually scared of him. But before you could protest, he was unbuckling his belt and unzipping his jeans. He roughly hiked up your sundress and lifted you up by the backs of your thighs.
"This is what you want?" Joel growled, his voice low and intense. "One last time, huh?"
"Joel, please...", you gasped.
Your heart raced as his lips sloppily crashed against yours. It was intoxicating; you could smell his cologne and the beer on his breath as you wrapped yourself around him, pulling him closer, needing to feel him, to lose yourself in him. One last time.
The room spun around you, the noise from the party outside fading into oblivion as he slipped your panties to the side and entered you all at once. You took a sharp breath at the sudden stretch you were unprepared for. His movements were driven by a desperate need, forcing himself into you with a mixture of pain and pleasure as you clung to him like your life depended on it. The boom of fireworks outside was the only momentary glitter of light as he dug his fingers into the soft flesh of your thighs and ass; youâd hoped to find bruises there in the morning. A flash of red, then white, then blue lit up the right side of his face."You drive me fuckinâ crazy," he leaned in to mutter against your neck, his breath hot and ragged. "I can't stop thinkinâ âbout you."
"Th-then⊠d-don't," you struggled to get your words out as he knocked the air out of you. âJ-just b-be with me..."
âAaah, fuck, whoâs got good pussy baby?â Joel growled, his voice low and rough.
"I... I do," you gasped, barely able to breathe as he thrust brutally against your cervix, each movement sending shockwaves through your body.
"Say it again," he demanded, his pace relentless. "Say it again, baby. I need to hear it."
"I do! " You screamed, the words tumbling out between ragged breaths. "I-Iâve got good pussy, Joel. Itâs all y-yours!â
"Dirty fuckinâ girl,â he spat. "Screwing your daddy's best friend." He whispered, raw and guttural, sending shivers through you. You could see the intensity in his eyes, his primal need for you. You started to be able to take him more easily as you became wet with arousal. You arched your back, meeting his thrusts with equal fervour, every part of you alight with pleasure. Joelâs hands gripped you tighter, holding you in place as he pounded into you."UghâŠyes, Joel,â you moaned, nails clawing at his salt-and-pepper locks to pull his lips to yours. âl love it w-when you f-fuck me.â
âHmm, always feel so good, baby,â he pants, as his cock relentlessly slides in and out of your puffy lips. Each thrust hit that sweet spot deep within you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. Joel knew exactly how to drive you wild, make you forget everything but the sensation of him; make you forget he was breaking your heart.
âThatâs it, baby, itâs okay, just cum for me, cum all over this cock.â
Your body trembled as you cried out his name, your pleasure shattering through you in waves. You closed your eyes tight, feeling yourself gripping every inch of him as you dug your fingers into his shoulders. Joel held you through it, his strong arms keeping you secured against him and the wall as you came apart.
He followed soon after, his release a powerful, shuddering thing that left him collapsing onto you. He emptied every last bit of him into you with a growl. Â You pushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead before he buried his face into the crook of your neck, panting for breath. He pulled out of you with a groan, releasing your legs and letting your feet find the ground again. You shuffled awkwardly, rearranging your underwear and smoothing out your dress. Joel looked away, avoiding your eyes as he did his jeans and belt back up. The silence between you was thick and heavy.
"Is this really it, then?" you asked quietly, your voice trembling as you struggled to keep your composure.
Joel sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping. "It has to be. We can't keep doinâ this."
You felt a surge of anger rise in your chest. "So that's it? You just use me one last time and then throw me away?"
He finally met your gaze. "Itâs not like that. I never wanted it to end this way.â
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face.
"But we canât keep playinâ childish fuckinâ games, and youâre too naive to see the damage this could cause.â
"Donât you dare put this all on me," you snapped, your voice rising. "Youâre the one who started this.â
Joel took a step back. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but I canât see you again,â he said coldly.
You turned away, your heart shattering with every word he said. You couldnât bear to look at him any longer. "Fuck you, Joel,â you spat, storming toward the door. You yanked it open and stepped into the hallway.
Downstairs, the sounds of the party continued but it all sounded like you were underwater.
You moved quickly to the front door and stepped out into the night, the cool air hitting your tear-streaked face. You hugged your arms and walked quickly. The air smelt like sulphur as fireworks illuminated the sky. You didnât stop until you reached home.
The house was eerily quiet. Too quiet.
Your heart felt like it was being crushed in a vise, each breath harder to draw than the last. You could barely see through the blur of tears as you climbed the stairs, having to use your hands to steady yourself.
You reached your room and slammed the door shut, leaning against it for support. Your legs trembled, and you slid down until you was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to your chest. You clenched your fists, trying to push down the sobs, threatening to break free. You had known the risks, known how wrong it was, but you hadn't been able to help yourself.
Fucking your dadâs best friend, what did you expect; thought youâd live happily ever after with a white picket fence?
Maybe Joel was right. Maybe you were too naĂŻve. You were fucking crazy to think this could have ended any other way.
But no one made you feel like Joel did. No one felt like Joel did. It was electric. The way he touched you, the way he made you feel alive, cherished, and understood, no one had ever come close. Joel was everything you had ever wanted and more. But now, it was all over.
A soft knock on your door. "Sweetie, can we talk?" Your dadâs voice was gentle, but you couldn't face him.
"Go away," you choked out, your voice barely more than a whisper.
âWondered where you were. Youâre missing the fireworks, honey.â
"Please, just leave me alone."
âHm, Joel did say you weren't feelinâ well, had too much to drink?â
How so desperately you wanted to tell your dad everything just to relieve some of the weight off of your shoulders, but how could you? How could you tell him, oh, by the way, I've been fucking your best friend behind your back for months, buts heâs just ended things and torn my heart into a million pieces? I know exactly just how many kisses fit between his eyes? I know the face he makes when he cums, and I think I can actually feel his cum leaking out of me right now?
divider credit to @kthice
*title inspired by "Once More to See You" by Mitski
#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x female reader#dbf!joel#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller one shot#tlou fanfiction#hbo joel miller#no outbreak!joel miller#tlou#tw dubcon#Joel miller
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Just Admit It
part 2 of do you need me!!
does it count as proofreading if I scrolled through it really fast before posting?
Falling asleep in Alexia's arms seemed to be a cure all- you'd woken up a few hours later and the pain in your head had dulled significantly. Alexia was just so relieved that you were feeling better, and didn't want to ruin your good mood by bringing up how you'd acted earlier. So, even though your reluctance to allow her to take care of you worried her deeply, she let it go, vowing to keep a close eye on you.
You wished that that had been the end of it. It should have been; your migraines were normally really rare. You'd never had more than one in the span of a few months, normally going a while in between episodes. Which was why you just dealt with them; they weren't a common enough occurrence for you to go to a doctor or something.
You must have been extra stressed, though, which you knew was the cause of your migraines. Between a hectic club schedule, and an insane international one, you were exhausted. Seeing how stressed Alexia was only made you feel worse, until you were a walking ball of anxiety going into the holiday break.
You and Alexia had just played last game of the year, a champions league group stage game, extremely ready to relax. It seems your relaxation time came a little late, though, because you felt the beginnings of a migraine starting to pulse in your brain on the drive home.
You were determined to keep this one to yourself. What had happened a couple weeks ago, letting Alexia see you in that state, could not happen again. Even if she told you she didn't mind. Even if she'd specifically asked you to tell her the next time you didn't feel well. You just couldn't. You kept quiet all the way home, heading inside and immediately curling up on the couch while Alexia sat next to you.
Alexia wasn't stupid, and she knew you very well. She knew you weren't feeling well, could tell from your silence in the car; normally you'd be all hyper after a game, changing the song every other minute and talking nonstop about whatever came to your mind. She loved hyper-post game y/n, who always managed to bring a smile to her face, no matter what mood she was in. Your lack of energy in the car was concerning, as was your behavior upon arriving home. Normally, the two of you picking dinner consisted of you going back and forth until one of you was so hungry that you just agreed to something you didn't want. Alexia pulled out her phone, prepared to start listing ideas, expecting this to take a while.
"What about sushi?" She suggested, half joking because you really didn't like sushi, and would normally complain about having to pick something random off the menu.
"Sure." You responded quietly, and Alexia's head raised to look at you, thinking she must have heard wrong.
"Okay... do you want fried rice?" she asked, eyes studying you closely.
"I'm actually not that hungry, I'll probably just make a sandwich or something" you replied, and Alexia's eyebrows rose even farther up on her face. Ordering food out was... your favorite thing. Choosing to eat something from home instead of getting something from a restaurant was unheard of. She had half a mind to check you for a fever, but she was already suspicious that your head was hurting.
She took in your appearance, really looking at you. Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed, as if allowing your eyes to be open all the way was too much. You unconsciously rubbed your left temple with your finger, and your jaw was completely clenched. It was clear that you were in pain. Alexia set her phone down, scooting a little closer to you.
"Are you feeling alright?" She asked, bracing herself for your response. Sure enough, your whole body tensed, and she watched your face as all traces of discomfort were wiped away.
"I'm fine, just tired." You assured her, not really aware of how aware she was of how you were feeling. Alexia decided to push, just a little.
"If you're sure. You can tell me if you're not feeling well, cariño. I won't be mad." Her voice was soft, as if she was talking to a cornered animal, and you were suddenly fighting the inexplicable urge to cry. You want to tell her, you really did, but you couldn't. You didn't want to be too much, and you'd already been far too weak in front of her before. You forced yourself to meet her eyes, willing yourself to not feel anything as you took the love and worry she held on her face.
"I'm fine, amor, seriously." You responded, fighting to keep your voice steady. You were careful not to promise anything, not wanting to break it. You were fine. Your head hurt, and the lights made your eyes ache, and the room was starting to spin lightly whenever you moved your head, but it wasn't anything you couldn't handle. You gave Alexia a half smile, and she sighed, smiling back. You could tell she didn't really believe you.
If you were going to be stubborn, you could be stubborn. Alexia was dead set on you coming to her this time, on forcing you to realize that you needed her, and that was okay.
The rest of the evening passed slowly. Alexia put on some random reality show that she insisted she only watched for you, even though she'd let out comments like, "well maybe if you weren't such a douche, derek, everyone wouldn't hate you" completely unprompted. You promised her you'd eat after the episode ended, her food arriving in the middle. Instead, the credits played, and you avoided her eyes as you spoke.
Standing up only slightly unsteadily, you said, "I think I'm gonna go to bed Ale, I'm really tired." The pain in your head had only intensified and you were desperate to escape to your bedroom where you could hide your tears in the pillow. Alexia looked up at you with surprise and concern.
"You haven't eaten anything, y/n, and it's only 8:00."
"I know, I'm really not hungry though. Goodnight baby, I love you." You didn't even kiss her goodnight as you headed to bed, knowing that if you tried to bend over to do so, you'd probably end up face down in her lap. She looked after you, bewildered. She really couldn't understand why you were so reluctant to tell her that you weren't feeling well.
You changed into pajamas and curled up under the covers, surprisingly finding yourself rather sleepy. Your head hurt, a lot, but somehow you felt yourself drifting off.
Alexia tried to stay up till a normal time, but she couldn't resist climbing into bed with you. At least in your sleep, you couldn't push her away from you. So, at 9, she headed into the bedroom, finding you asleep, head buried in her pillow instead of your own. She smiled, taking in the sight of you completely dressed in clothes from her side of the dresser. She was tempted to pull clothes from your side of the dresser as revenge, but instead settled on a pair of her own shorts, and the stupid fuzzy sweatshirt you loved. She didn't like wearing it, and she hated sleeping in it, but the look on your face when she put it on last time, as if you'd maybe begun to understand a fraction of the love that Alexia had for you, was enough to get it on her tonight.
She slid into bed next to you, fitting herself into the small space you'd left her when you'd taken over her pillow. You had the hood of one of her hoodies pulled up, and under it your face was flushed, you looked warm, so she carefully pulled the hood down, allowing fresh air to hit your face and hopefully cool you down. You grumbled slightly, shifting over until you were practically laying on top of your girlfriend. Alexia held in a laugh, and snuggled into you. She felt sleep tugging at her, and she hoped when you both woke up in the morning, you'd feel better.
-----
You didn't. You woke up only a few hours after Alexia had come to bed, in blinding pain. Your head had never hurt this bad before, no migraine had every felt this intense. You knew you should do something, wake Alexia up probably, but you really couldn't move. You were laid on top of Alexia, head tucked into her neck. She was sound asleep, one arm wrapped around you, holding you securely against her. You tried to shift, just a little, but the slight movement intensified the pain in your head, until you were biting your lip to keep from crying out. You couldn't stop the tears, though, and they fell steadily onto Alexia's neck.
Alexia woke to the sensation of something wet on her neck. She was incredibly groggy, and she just barely registered that you were laying against her.
"Why is my neck wet?" She grumbled, speaking in her normal voice, although much more garbled than normal. At the volume of her voice in your ear, you let out a whimper of pain, unable to contain it.
Alexia was fully awake in a second, remembering that you'd gone to bed not feeling well, the sound you'd just made alerting her to the fact that you were silently crying into her skin. She didn't move though, only starting to rub your back softly.
"Hey, bebé, what is it?" she cooed, keeping her voice at a whisper. You didn't respond, shoulder still shaking with silent cries, and she grew even more concerned. "Please tell me what's wrong, I can't help unless you tell me," she pleaded.
The desperation in her voice got to you, and you managed to roll yourself off of her, onto your back, with minimal sounds of discomfort. Alexia rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to look down at you. She kept her touch feather light as the pads of her fingers lightly wiped away the tears on your face.
"Open your eyes for me, please?" You did as she asked, thankful for the darkness. Your face was screwed up with pain, eyes red and puffy from crying. "Now tell me what's hurting," she said, because there was no question you were in pain.
Your bottom lip trembled as you looked up at Alexia, trying to find the words to express what was going on.
"M-my head," you told her, voice breaking as you spoke through your tears. "Migraine. Really bad."
"Oh, bebé, I'm so sorry. What can I get you? Medicine? An ice pack? Anything," she seemed so eager to help, to fix it, and you felt even worse about what you were about to say.
You'd never felt this bad before. You could barely think. What few thoughts you could form, all told you that you needed to go to the hospital. You knew once the words were out of your mouth, Alexia would freak out, and there'd be no going back. You took a deep breath, closing your eyes, before speaking.
"Ale, you need to take me to the hospital." She was silent for a few moments, and you opened your eyes again to look at her. The fear painted across her face was horrifying.
Your words stunned her. For you, stubborn, independent you, to tell her she needed to take you to the hospital, you must have been in indescribable pain. She allowed herself to panic for only a moment, before she took a deep breath, and burst into action.
"Okay, hospital, I can do that. Should I call an ambulance?" She tried to sound more put together than she felt.
"No, too loud. Drive me?" You were back to speaking in half sentences. She would drive you, she really would, but she took one look at her hands, shaking uncontrollably in panic, and she knew she shouldn't get behind the wheel of the car. Maybe she should have been better in a crisis, maybe she would have been if it had been anyone else. But it was you, and you were her weakness. She didn't want to worry you, though, and she knew if she said she was panicking too much to drive, you'd worry, even in this state.
"Okay mi amor, let me change, and we'll go." You mumbled an agreement, and she climbed out of bed, grabbing her phone. She headed into the closet, shutting the door behind her before flicking the light on. She dialed quickly hoping to god that Mapi had her ringer on.
"This better be good Putellas, I swear." Mapi's voice came over the line, grumpy and harsh.
"Mapi, I need you to drive me and y/n to the hospital." Alexia felt tears pricking her eyes, and she blinked them away, knowing she needed to keep it together.
"Por qué?!" Mapi responded, sounding much more awake. Alexia heard shuffling over the phone, and a yelp that was probably Mapi waking Ingrid up.
"She has a migraine and she said it's really bad and she needs to go to the hospital."
"She asked to go?" Mapi sounded surprised.
"Si."
"Shit, okay we're coming now, we'll be there in a couple minutes." Like Alexia, Mapi recognized how bad you must have been feeling if you had asked to go to the hospital. Neither of them had ever been so grateful to live so close to each other before.
Alexia headed back into the bedroom, having changed while on the phone into sweatpants and a t-shirt, and leaned down to kiss your forehead.
"Mapi's coming to drive us, she'll be here in a minute. I'm gonna pick you up to carry you to the car now, vale?" She whispered the words against your forehead.
You replied with a soft, "Okay," pain lacing your voice. You didn't care that Alexia had called Mapi, you didn't care about anything as long as you didn't have to go in an ambulance with the sirens on. As carefully as one would pick up a newborn baby, Alexia gathered you into her arms, holding you tight against her, carrying you out of the room and to the front door. It opened right as she got to it, and Ingrid was standing in front of her, spare key in hand, hair sleep tousled, but looking alert.
"Take her to the car, I'll grab your wallet and keys," Alexia nodded, sliding on shoes before heading out the door, thanking the universe that she had such good friends. Mapi was waiting by car, pulling the door open, wordlessly helping Alexia slide into the backseat. You sat sideways on Alexia's lap, head tucked back into her neck as your tears hit her skin over and over. You clung to her tightly, hands fisted in her shirt, as you tried to stop yourself from sobbing loudly. The walk to the car had been enough to almost make you pass out, but you'd held on to consciousness.
Ingrid climbed into the front seat then, quietly telling Alexia she'd locked the door behind her. Mapi pulled the car out of the driveway, looking in the rearview mirror every so often, studying your form curled up against Alexia. She'd never seen you like this, and she'd never seen Alexia this panicked either. Ingrid was thinking the same thing, and she reached a hand back, giving Alexia's knee a squeeze.
"Everything is gonna be fine, the doctors will know what to do, they'll fix her up fast." Ingrid kept her voice low and reassuring. Alexia nodded, slightly frantically, holding you tighter against her.
The drive to the hospital seemed to take forever, Mapi taking care to drive as carefully as possible, since every jerk the car made caused a whimper of pain to spill from your lips. Alexia paid no attention to the dark city passing her by, her only focus on you in her arms.
Mapi pulled the car right up in front of the doors to the emergency room, and Ingrid was flying out of the car, opening up the door and helping Alexia get you out. Mapi drove off to park the car, while Ingrid walked the two of you inside. Luckily, it was pretty empty, and the nurses ushered Alexia to put you down on a bed in a room almost instantly. She explained the situation, as you were clearly in too much pain to speak, and the nurses were nodding, hooking you up to all sorts of things, before telling Alexia to wait in the waiting room until they had run some tests.
She hesitated, looking desperately at you. You looked so small in the hospital bed, eyes squeezed tightly shut against the harsh lights, hands balled into fists. There were 5 people working over you, all seemed calm and not worried, but Alexia still had to fight the urge to climb into the bed with you, and pull you into your arms until you stopped crying. She felt a hand on her arm, tugging her into the hallway.
"C'mon. She'll be okay, you need to let them work though." Ingrid stated, encouraging Alexia to follow her out into the hall. With one last look at you, she let Ingrid pull her out of the room and walk her back to the waiting room. They found Mapi there, arguing with the nurse at the desk, trying to figure out where you went.
Alexia took a seat in a chair, sighing heavily, and burying her face in her hands. Ingrid and Mapi exchanged a look, taking seats on either side of their captain. Mapi rested her hand on Alexia's back, and was startled when she heard Alexia sniffle into her hands.
Ingrid rolled her eyes at the look on Mapi's face, who looked completely stunned to see her best friend crying. Sure, Alexia never cried, ever, but this situation definitely warranted it.
"She's gonna be fine, Ale. She's in a lot of pain, but thats how migraines work. They'll give her something for it, make sure nothing else is going on, and discharge her." Ingrid told her, clearly trying to make Alexia feel better.
"She's right. Y/n has had a stressful month, this is just her body reacting to it. She'll be fine." Mapi continued, pulling herself together enough to comfort her friend.
Alexia lifted her head then, and both other girls wanted to cry themselves at the look on her face.
"I've never seen her in that much pain before. And for her to ask me to take her to the hospital, she must have been in so much pain." Alexia's voice was shaking when she spoke, wiping her face with her hands to rid it of tears. Mapi and Ingrid looked at her sympathetically.
"I know, but they've probably already got her all drugged out, she's probably not even in any pain anymore. She's funny on pain meds, remember when she got her wisdom teeth out?" Mapi tried to lighten the mood. Alexia smiled slightly, remembering how goofy you'd been. Her friends had helped, she felt marginally better.
And Mapi was right. The doctors had ruled out any serious brain issues, and given you a nice big dose of painkillers. You felt the ache in your head fade as you yourself drifted off again. Your last thought before you fell asleep was that you hoped they'd let Alexia back soon, and that she'd brought the fuzzy sweatshirt she wore to bed, because you were kind of cold.
-----
When you woke, it took you a few minutes to remember where you were. Your brain felt heavy, but not in the painful way it had before. You tried to blink your eyes open, but they weren't really cooperating yet. You tried to bring a hand up to rub at them, only to find that you couldn't move your right arm at all. Using your left hand, despite the IV, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes, and cracked them open. You looked down to see what had taken your arm hostage, and found Alexia passed out on it. Her cheek was smushed up against your sheets, both arms wrapped around your one, while her hand somehow held tightly to yours.
You were suddenly overwhelmed; by both the love you felt for the girl laying at your bedside, and the love you felt from her. Tears sprung to your eyes again, and you sighed, slightly annoyed with the amount you'd been crying recently. She stirred at the slight sound you made, eyes blinking open, slightly confused, before she shot straight up in her seat. Her hands released yours, and they hovered frantically over you, as her mouth opened and closed. She was groggy from sleep, and alarmed that you were crying, and her brain was not moving fast enough to decide on a course of action. It would have been funny if she hadn't looked so panicked.
She found her voice then, raising her hands to cradle your cheeks. "Are you in pain? Why are you crying? I should call the doctor, let me find a nurse," her words came out a mile a minute, and you smiled at her, placing your hands over hers.
"Relax, amor. I'm not in pain, sit back down." She looked at you doubtfully, slowly sitting back in her chair.
"If you aren't in pain, why are you crying?" She asked. She was surprised when you blushed, no longer meeting her eyes.
"I just woke up and you were here with me, and... I don't know. It was overwhelming. In a good way. I just love you, a lot." You stuttered through the sentence, before lifting your eyes to meet hers again. her gaze had softened, and you melted at the look on her face.
She pulled you in then, pressing a bruising kiss to your lips. She pulled back after a minute, peppering little kisses all across your face until you were laughing, and she had cracked a smile. Quickly, though, her face turned serious again.
"Of course I was here when you woke up. Where else would I be?" She asked, seeming genuinely unsure of where else she would possibly have been.
"I don't know. You still surprise me sometimes, with how much you care. I don't always expect it." You responded. You weren't sure if you were just feeling sappy, or if the drugs were making you talk, but you found yourself overly willing to be honest with her.
"Bebé, why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well last night?" She replied, eyes searching yours.
"I didn't want to bother you, you were tired too. And, I guess I'm just worried."
"Worried about what?"
You took a deep breath, picking at a stray thread of the thin blanket laying across your legs. "Worried that if I let you see me like that, all weak, you won't want me anymore. Why would you want to take care of me?"
Alexia was quiet after you spoke, and you made yourself look back up at her. She looked like she was thinking hard.
"Nothing you could ever do would be too much for me. Nothing. Not being sick, or in pain, or sad, or angry. I want you just as much then as I do when you're happy. And I always want to take care of you. You are mi niña bonita y perfecta. I want everything with you, even the stuff that isn't so fun." She spoke slowly, determined that you catch every word. "Okay?"
You swallowed the lump in your throat, and nodded. "Okay. I promise to try to do better, and let you help me." You figured it was the least you could do, after the little speech she just made. A speech that made you want to run home and grab the ring you'd hidden in the back of your closet, and ask her, right then and there.
Alexia smiled, satisfied, leaning in to kiss you again. You asked her what the doctor had said, and she told you that he thought you hadn't rested enough after the last migraine, and you'd obviously been extra stressed recently. That, combined with the lack of sleep you'd been getting due to early trainings and late nights filled with... other forms of exercise with Alexia, had compounded to give you the migraine you'd experienced.
He recommended a neurologist, who could help you manage them, and also that you find a better way to deal with your stress than... not dealing with it at all. You were free to go once the drugs wore off though. Alexia made you promise to see the neurologist before she brought up the topics of visitors.
"Ingrid and Mapi are still in the waiting room. They were both pretending not to be worried but Mapi has been pacing pretty much since we got here, and Ingrid's gotten all snippy, the way she does when she's worried." You laughed, picturing the scene clearly. You told her to go get them, and she left to do so.
While she was gone, you thought about that ring in your closet again. You had big plans for it over the summer, but you wondered if maybe you couldn't wait until then. You might have to plan something sooner, or risk blurting it out while waiting for the right time. Either way, you were more sure than ever that Alexia was it for you, and more convinced that you'd ever been that you were it for her.
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Tending the Garden
Living by yourself on your little homestead gets lonely after your father's passing. And so, when you find a handsome wounded stranger alone and left for dead in the dust, you take pity on him. Oh, he'll leave again someday, you know that. Which would be fineâif only he wasn't so damned sweet.
tags: Javier Escuella/reader, pining, falling in love
part 1 | part 2
Christ, not again.Â
âYou better not be dead,â you tell the man lying crumpled in the dirt.
He doesn't stir. With a sigh you put your shotgun on your back and crouch down.Â
Scrawny, filthy, and bloody. âWhat a sight you are,â you mumble, checking for a pulse. It's there, however faint. When you turn the man over you see a young, handsome face; black, half-long hair, a nose that's definitely been busted at least once, and a faint scar across his left eyebrow. He's wearing a tattered poncho, its colours old and faded. Â
You sling his arm over your shoulder and whistle for Copper, who obediently trots closer. As an afterthought you grab the man's sombrero and push it onto his head more securely.Â
âAlright, girl,â you soothe your horse while hoisting the man over her rear. âLet's get home.âÂ
You were heading that way, anyway, your little hunting trip yielding two fat rabbits in the traps you'd laid out some days ago. You're not used to catching less, not yet; itâs only been a few weeks since your father passed.Â
Maybe that's what moves you to take the stranger with youâthe strange bouts of loneliness that have plagued you ever since the funeral. Â
Fortunately the stranger isn't seriously injured save for the angry, fresh wound around his neck and some cuts and bruises. You wrap him up in poultice and bandages and put him in your fatherâs bed; the rest is up to him.Â
As for yourself, you set to skinning the rabbits and preparing the meat, curing it and hanging it out to dry to add to your stock of provisions in the cellar. Part of it you set aside to prepare for a late dinner, humming as your knife makes quick work of your home-grown vegetables.Â
It's a quiet life out here, in the middle of the grassy hills and patches of dense forest. Redwood's less than an hour away by horse, and you go there on occasion to sell your pelts and buy the few supplies you can't fashion yourself at the little homestead you've lived in all your life.
That said... since your old man died you have to admit you're struggling a little managing it all by yourself.Â
When you set aside the now finished stew on the old, wooden table you can see the barn from the window across you, and it's not in a good state. You've been meaning to get around to the repairs, justâafter the funeral... it's been hard.Â
You eat slowly. The crackle of the fireplace, the clink of your spoon against your plate, and the familiar creaks of the house withstanding the blustery winds of spring are your only companions. Your potatoes are doing nicely; so are your carrots and onions. Might be time to get started on those tomatoes soon... Maybe squash this year, too.Â
You're pulled out of your musings when the door to your father's bedroom creaks open and two guarded, dark eyes meet yours.Â
You reach for the shotgun lying next to your plate. The man's eyes widen and he takes a hesitant step back. ââS alright, stranger,â you say. âJust makinâ sure you don't repay my kindness by tryna slit my throat. How you feelin'?âÂ
Your tone is gentle, yet the man hovers near the doorframe, clearly unsure of how to proceed. He's undeniably of Mexican heritage; maybe he doesn't speak English too well? You offer a smile, patting the chair next to you. âYou hungry? Food?âÂ
His eyes light up at that and he nods. Â
âAlright. Take a seat and I'll get you a plate.â You stand up, strapping your shotgun over your back. Just in case. Don't you trust no one, girl, your father always told you. It's what's kept you alive until now and you're intending to keep it that way.Â
The man shuffles forward and slowly takes a seat on the hard wooden chair. As soon as you put a plate down he inhales the food in front of him with such gusto it draws a surprised laugh out of you. â'S that why you were lyinâ in the dirt out cold?â You shake your head. âPoor bastard. Well, eat your fill.âÂ
You hand him water as well as whiskey, both of which he accepts graciously. Once he's polished his first helping and starts on the second, you ask him his name. He looks up, cheeks near bursting, and your lips quirk up. You gesture to yourself, introduce yourself, and then, with an encouraging raise of your eyebrows, nod to him.Â
âMy name, Javier,â he says with his mouth full, pointing to his chest. Â
âNice tâmeet you, Javier.â You touch your own neck and pat your abdomen in the spot where Javier got an especially nasty cut. âHow's that feelinâ?âÂ
He understands, mirroring you by touching his bandaged neck. âThank you,â he says earnestly, his accent curled thickly around his words. Not exactly what you meant, but you'll take that to mean it's bearable.Â
You let him be, then, content to watch him eat until he's satisfied. When he's done your eyes linger on his dirt-stained fingers. Actually, forget his fingersâhe's covered in grime from tip to toe.
âYou wanna wash up? There's a water pump just outside.â When he looks at you uncomprehending you get up, scraping your chair back over the hard wooden floor, and gesture with your hand. âCome. Outside. What's it calledâ? Agua.âÂ
That seems to land. He follows you, and once you work the pump to fill a wooden pail you leave him to it with a nod. After heading back inside you rummage around in your late father's meagre belongings and pull out a shirt and some jeans that will surely be too big on Javier. Well, at least they'll be clean.Â
âJavier!â you call out before rounding the back. âYou decent? Got you some clothes.âÂ
His voice carries back to you in some kind of affirmation and you step around the corner of the house. You're not quite prepared to see him shirtless, however, and for a moment your eyes linger on the expanse of his back narrowing into slender hips. You tear your gaze away from him the moment he turns, thrusting the clothes into his waiting still-wet hands. âHere.âÂ
âGracias,â he says, his lips curling in an appreciative smile. It strikes you then just how handsome he looks with his hair dripping wet and little rivulets streaming down the hollow of his neck. His dark eyes regard you with a curious intensity in the beat that passes before you excuse yourself and head back inside.Â
Javier returns looking much cleaner, sleeves rolled up around his forearms and jeans tucked neatly into his scuffed boots. He allows you to take his dirty clothes from him and you set them aside for tomorrow's washing. Then you gesture him to sit down, checking to make sure his bandages haven't gotten wet or displaced; but it looks like he was careful, and you don't need to redo any of your work.Â
âRest,â you tell him before moving back to the kitchen to clean up the dishes. When he shakes his head and follows you to the sink you raise an eyebrow.Â
âQuiero agradecerte por salvarme. I help you,â he says, gesturing. You snort, pushing his hands away.Â
âAin't nothinâ for you to do âside from sit pretty ând heal up.â His brow furrows at that, and you smile, nodding to the kitchen table. âWhy don't you sit and tell me what happened to you? Yâlooked a fright when I found you.âÂ
When he remains quiet you look back over your shoulder and see a shadow has fallen over his face, his shoulders tense and drawn up. You hum in understanding, drying your hands on a towel before leaning your hips back against the counter. âWhere you headed next, then?â you ask gently. âYou got someplace to go?âÂ
He shakes his head, eyes downcast on his hands folded across his lap.Â
âWell. I could use a hand with the barn,â you muse. âReckon I can let you stay a while if you help me out âround here.âÂ
He looks up that, brows upturned in a hesitant, hopeful expression. âStay?â he repeats.Â
âSure,â you smile. âYou help me, and you stay.âÂ
â
With some rest and care Javier makes a quick recovery, and after a while of having three hot meals a day his strength returns. His scrawny figure fills into lean, wiry muscle, following your every request with an eagerness to please that never fails to makes you smile.Â
He helps fix the barn with you, and when that's done he moves onto a leaky part on the roof. He helps plant you tomatoes by day, and during the evenings you help him practice his English. You ask him to teach you Spanish in return. There are several times you both end up laughing by what essentially turns into a strange game of charades.Â
âAh, cĂłmo describirlo... You sit on a horse.âÂ
âRidin'?â you offer.Â
âNo, no... The chair on the horse...âÂ
You bite your lip to keep yourself from chuckling. âThe saddle?âÂ
âSĂ!â a smile breaks through on his face, pleased you've understood. And so on. You talk about anything that comes up; the chores you do, the vegetables you plant, the animals you catch. You lend him the few books you have, once having belonged to your mother, and read to him while explaining the words best you can. Â
Javier doesn't talk about his past nor what he's running from, but that's fine. As long as he doesn't lead trouble to your doorstep a man has a right to his secrets. And though he clearly has moments where he struggles with a heavy sadness weighing upon his shoulders, Javier slowly becomes livelier.Â
Sweet spring air with its budding green things lifts your own mood, too. Weeks roll into months, and both of you settle into your comfortable new normal; for as long as it'll last. You don't know what Javier has in mind for his future, but you're assuming he'll probably want to move on from here at some point. It's what makes you force yourself to look away from the way he pulls his ever-growing hair back into a ponytail, forearms flexing when he ties it secure.Â
It's also to this end that you share your earnings from what you sell in town, insisting he has a right to it; it was a team effort, after all, wasn't it? It's a joy to see him look down at the money he's earned with his own hands, awe and gratitude lining his face.Â
Javier's not the best at hunting or tracking, but he takes to fishing, and you're happy your father's fishing kit will get to see some use rather than collect dust in a corner. He's skilled with a knife too, and your usual workload of skinning and cutting is easily halved.Â
âYou know, I been thinkin',â you tell him one evening, seated across each other like usual on your couch. ââBout getting some chickens. Lotsa fresh eggs every day. We'd have little chicks runninâ âround, too. What you think?âÂ
Javier nods. âWe have to build a chicken house.âÂ
âThat's right, a chicken coop. You up for it?âÂ
âClaro. Tell me when we start.âÂ
It feels natural, to have these kind of idle conversations with him. To plan, to dream a little. With the rising temperatures Javier often works in the garden shirtless, his hat shielding his face from the sun. You're not sure if it's a blessing or a curse. Several times you feel the desire to reach out and smooth your hands over his skin, to taste the sweat a day's work has collected in the nape of his neck.Â
One time Javier catches you, and you're not sure he believes the half-coherent excuse you give him. Good Lord, you need to get yourself together.Â
There other moments where you swear lightning takes a hold of you. When you climb down the ladder from fixing the roof his hands steady your hips. When you pore over the English books he painstakingly works his way through he's so close you can feel his breath on your cheek. When you harvest the vegetables in your garden his fingers brush against yours.
Has it been that long since you've been touched?Â
It gets to the point you saddle up Copper to go into Redwood just to be away from him and the homestead for a day. You go out to town every few months to stock up on a larger amount of goods and supplies; you're on friendly terms with the general store's assistant, Jimmy, and he's always happy to drive you back with a wagon full of things to last you a good while.Â
Copper nuzzles your hand affectionately and you stroke her neck, slipping her an apple. Javier spots you and jogs over, smile bright. âAre you leaving?âÂ
He's wearing a blouse today, the first couple buttons undone. His collarbones dip so beautifully along his shoulders, and when he wipes the sweat off his forehead the fabric stretches around his muscles. You swallow, mouth feeling dry. Â
This is the whole reason you have to head out. Clear your head. Talk to some other people that don't have glittering dark eyes and crooked smiles and stupidly attractive laughs.Â
You focus on strapping on Copper's saddle while you answer Javier. âYep. Time to stock up on some things. I'll be gone for the day, so watch the house for me, won't you?â Â
âOf course,â Javier nods. âFor the chicken house? Ah, coop?âÂ
âThat's right,â you smile. âI'm gettin' us the materials and some chicks to start out with. A rooster, too. So no more sleepinâ in late,â you add with a little grin.Â
Javier groans, but it's in good humour. âMonta con seguridad. Ride safe.âÂ
âAlways do.âÂ
It's wonderful to feel the breeze on your skin as you ride, and once you reach town you find it was the right call. There's plenty to distract you, though Javier never quite leaves the forefront of your mind. When you get to the general store and greet Jimmy, who gets the catalogue ready for you to place your order, you can't help but add a few clothing items you think Javier might be in need of. You've noticed he enjoys taking care he looks nice, fussing with his hair and polishing his boots, and while your late father's clothes are sturdy and durable they don't possess a lick of fashionable flair.Â
A bandana, a vest, leather boots with finely stitched patterns, several blouses... You hardly notice how much attention you're pouring into it when Jimmy chuckles and nods to the pages you're so intently poring over. âNever thought that was quite your style, sugar.âÂ
Your cheeks grow warm. âOhâNo, that ain't it. I've... Well. I got a wanderinâ stranger on my hands, and I feel obliged to him. Helped me out a lot, now that my Pa is gone and all...âÂ
Jimmy's surprise melts into understanding. ââCourse. You look like you're doinâ a lot better thoughâjust be careful of strangers.âÂ
âDon't worry. Ain't no one gonna get the jump on me.âÂ
You pick out the rest of your items, and once you're satisfied you have all you'll need Jimmy tells you he'll start loading up the wagon for you. âI'll take a bit, sugar, so feel free to come on back in a while.âÂ
You take the opportunity to sell your furs and take a stroll around Redwood, noting the subtle changes that present themselves after not having visited for a while. The saloon has a fresh coat of paint; thereâs a new butcher in town. Stores have swapped out their previous goods for things more currently in style.
Behind one of the storefrontsâ windows a fine, dark bowler hat catches your fancy, and you imagine Javier wearing it along with his crooked little grin. You exit the store only minutes later, feeling foolish and yet helpless when you imagine his delight at your gift.Â
After killing some time in the local saloon you find your way back to the general store, pleased to see Jimmy's loading up the last couple items. He helps you onto the front bench of the wagon, and then you're rattling off. Copper obediently follows behind.Â
âSaw you got some chicks 'n a rooster, miss. Think they'll do real well for ya...âÂ
Jimmy's small talk is pleasant, and you're almost surprised at how quickly your little homestead comes into view again. It never fails to make you feel comforted, to see the squat little buildings and the garden nestled among the hills.Â
Jimmy insists on helping you off the wagon again; âYou're a lady, I gotta treat you well,â and you allow him with a bemused smile. Only when your feet touch the grass again do you spot Javier from the corner of your eye, holding your shotgun and wearing a much darker expression than you're accustomed to seeing on him.Â
He slowly steps closer, dark eyes boring into Jimmy's hand still holding onto yours.Â
âJavier!â you call out with a smile. âIt's alright, put that gun away, now. This is Jimmy; the feller I told you about.â You turn back to Jimmy, thanking him again for taking the trouble with the deliveries.Â
Javier's frown doesn't disappear, however, not even when you gently touch his elbow, asking him to take Copper to the barn while you unload. Jimmy hangs back nervously, eyes darting between you and Javier. He helps you unload quickly, and when you ask if he'd like to stay for dinner he shakes his head. Â
âI'd best be goin', miss. You take care now,â and with a tip to his hat the wagon rattles off again. You watch him leave, then turn around to raise an eyebrow at Javier.Â
âAin't like you to be so unfriendly.âÂ
Javier looks away, an unhappy frown tugging at his lips. âThis man is touching you too much.âÂ
You blink. âJimmy? Oh, he's harmless. Known him for years; he's always been a good kid.â When Javier's frown remains you chuckle, gesturing for him to follow you. âAlright, alright. Come on, let's go inside. I got somethinâ for you.âÂ
That piques his interest. âWhat is it?âÂ
âUn sombrero,â you grin, then think for a second. â...Algo asĂ.â Ain't really a sombrero, exactly...Â
âAlgo asĂ?â Javier's lips curl upward. âMe estĂĄs dando curiosidad.âÂ
âJust wait till you see it.â The cool interior of the house feels wonderful after riding in the sun and you exhale, removing your hat and running your fingers through your hair in relief.Â
Javier obediently lets you direct him to sit on the couch while you sort through the boxes. When heâs presented with the clothes you picked for him you can hardly take your eyes off of him: Javier's whole face is aglow with delight.Â
âI might have to make some adjustments to make âem fit you well,â you tell him when he holds up his new blouses to his chest.Â
âEstos son maravillosos!â Javier beams. He's especially taken with the boots, his fingers tracing the delicate stitching. He looks up at you, eyes softening. His smile is a beautiful thing. âMuchas gracias, señorita.âÂ
That damn fluttery feeling in your chest... âNow close your eyes, mister. Got one last thing to complete the picture.â Â
You're made to eat those words. When Javier obediently closes his eyes it's so tempting to reach out and put a hand to his cheek, to touch a thumb to his lips... It takes real effort to tear yourself away from these thoughts and instead open the hat box, unwrapping the bowler hat from its crinkling, protective paper, and to put it on Javier's head. His hair tickles the back of your hand as you do, and maybe you're imaging it, but you swear there's a little hitch in his breath when your fingertips graze his temple.Â
He looks every bit as dashing as you'd pictured. âWell, well,â your smile seeps into your voice. âAin't you a fine-lookin' gentleman. Here's a mirrorâopen your eyes, señor Javier.âÂ
He does, eyes widening in surprise and then crinkling in happy delight as he sees the hat adorning his head. He turns this way and that, admiring the fine make and material in the small mirror you're holding up in front of him.Â
âTell me if it don't please you, and 's no hard feelings,â you reassure him, but that statement is met with such an indignant expression you laugh. Javier gets up from his chair, taking your free hand in his. His mouth curves into a sweet smile, and the fact that it's aimed at you warms your cheeks far too much.Â
âCariño,â Javier murmurs, his tone one so gentle as you've not heard before. âÂżPara quĂ© es todo esto? ÂżPara consentirme?âÂ
You scrunch your nose, brows knitting together. âThem's too many words I don't know...âÂ
To your surprise Javier lifts your hand to brush his lips over your knuckles. âYou are very good to me.âÂ
You let out a soft little âoh,â and when Javier's gaze on you lingers you fluster, pulling your hand from him and turning away, pretending to be busy with the few supplies still strewn across the kitchen table. âWell, IâI just couldn't bear seeinâ you wear your clothes to rags âs all.âÂ
All you hear in response is a little chuckle, but it makes you feel entirely too pleased.Â
â
âDo you goâoften? In town?â Javier asks you over dinner. Mashed potatoes, summer salad, smoked rabbit. It's a lovely spread, garnished with the flavours of your little herb garden.Â
âNot often, no. Why? You miss Jimmy already?â you tease.Â
Javier wrinkles his nose in distaste, and you laugh. âI do not miss Jimmy.âÂ
âWell, maybe you'll warm up to him. Most folk in town ain't too bad, really.âÂ
âÂżTe gusta Ă©lâJimmy?â Javier's tone is casual, almost disinterested. But when you look at him he's awaiting your answer with the watchful eye of a hawk.
âĂl es un amigo,â you reply easily. âA friend. My Pa was fond of âim too.âÂ
Javier does a little âhmâ, then goes back to poking at his food. You nudge his foot with your own, forcing him to look back at you.Â
âWhat's the matter? You were so happy earlier.âÂ
âI am happy,â Javier rushes to reassure you. His hand reaches out to touch yours, and when you turn your palm up instinctively to catch his fingers he finally smiles. âNothing is wrong.âÂ
After dinner and cleaning up you sit outside, side by side. The air is finally starting to cool. Cricket song hums in the air, the dying light of the sun smattering its final red hues on the evening sky. You share a bottle of whiskey between the two of you, exchanging small talk about the garden.Â
When the conversation trails off you watch Javier, his expression serious and thoughtful, gaze resting on the horizon. Not for the first time it fills you with a strange, sad sort of feeling. He'll leave you here someday, and that day is bound to come sooner rather than later.Â
âSay,â you speak up. âWe should get you a horse.âÂ
It's almost like you want him to leave. Might be better if he did, actually. You're not in too deep, not yetâor so you tell yourself. You can still let him go.Â
âA horse?â Javier looks at you, smiling with intrigue.Â
You shrug, trying to appear casual. âYeah. We could go out ridinâ together if you like.âÂ
âI would like that.âÂ
And so plans are made for a visit to a ranch just outside of Redwood. You weren't expecting to be returning that way so soon, but oh well. Not like it'll kill you.Â
...Actually, no, it might kill you. Javier's strong arms wrapped around your waist to keep steady when you mount Copper are going to be the death of you. He's already seated just behind the saddle, and the way he instinctively reaches out to help you up doesn't help the stutter of your heartbeat in the slightest.Â
A puff of his breath tickles your neck, and you're suddenly very glad he can't see your face. Lord forgive you, but his hands...Â
âReady?â you ask, your voice coming out slightly higher pitched than usual. And when Javier murmurs âReady,â close to your ear you have a hard time suppressing a shiver.Â
Thank God for Copper's easy and dependable nature, because even when you're more distracted than usual by your very attractive cargo your journey goes smoothly. Javier's dressed himself up in his fine new clothes, including his new bowler hat, and he polished his boots till they were shining.Â
When you arrive at the ranch he slips off Copper first so he can take your hand as you dismount. âGracias, señor,â you smile, and he grins.Â
Your playful smiles slip when you see the way the ranch hand that's coming to meet you is eyeing Javier. In response Javier ducks his head, letting his hat cover his face in shadow and keeping his eyes to the ground. His tension is a palpable thing. You give the ranch hand a curt greeting, not missing the way his eyes flick between the two of you with wary apprehension.Â
âWe'd like to take a look at your horses,â you say. Best to move the conversation along quickly, now. âNothing fancy, for ridinâ 'nd workinâ.âÂ
The ranch hand eyes Javier. âFor this greaser?âÂ
Javier looks up at him for a second, brief surprise followed by muted anger. Christ. Of course he'd know that word without you having to teach him. Â
âFor my friend. You mind your mouth, boy,â you tell the ranch hand in a clipped tone. The man gives you an odd look. You don't care.Â
âAlright then... Follow me,â he says, and though he makes no additional comments about Javier, the way the ranch hand glances back at him says enough.Â
âWe'll be fine from here,â you're all too happy to dismiss him when he's led you to the available horses. Then, turning to Javier in a much gentler tone. âAlright, darlin'. You take a look and see if there's any you like.âÂ
The endearment slips out so naturally you surprise yourself. If Javier notices he doesn't say anything; he just nods, focusing his attention on the horses. Poor man. Running from God knows what and then shunned because of his heritage.Â
You join Javier, watching him walk past the horses with a concentrated little frown furrowing his brow. When he stops in front of a grey-and-white American Paint he finally smiles a little, stroking the stallion's neck. He catches your gaze, and you nod encouragingly.Â
âFine breed. Learns quickly. Just like youâbut a lot more obedient,â you smile, eyes soft so he knows you're teasing. Javier turns his head to you slightly, the tension momentarily lifting from his shoulders. A little grin curls around his lips, crooking it in that way that lately never fails to make your heart skip a beat.
âThen I will take him.âÂ
He pays for the horse himself, looking proud that he's able to. He shushes and pats the horse gently, telling that its name is Boaz, now, and if he'll be a good horse for Javier he'll get some treats when they get home.Â
Javier looks so genuinely happy with himself as he rides Boaz you can't bring yourself to mourn the loss of his arms around your waist. This is good; this is a good thing. He has clothes, money, a horse. Everything he needs to get on with his life and leave you behind as a brief but kind memory.Â
The two of you ride slowly, letting Boaz adjust to his new owner and to you and Copper. You don't talk much on the way home, letting Javier fill the silence with excited chatter about Boaz. The barn will just be perfect for him, plenty of space, and Javier is sure Copper will be happy to have a friend, too, and maybe once Boaz gets used to Javier he can race you, you know, friendly competition, but if he wins then maybe you could make that apple pie again?Â
âClaro,â you smile, feeling both wistful and endeared with Javier's boyish grin. The way his eyes light up at the promise of your cooking. â...I'm sorry âbout what happened earlier,â you add in a much more serious tone. âAnd I'm sorry if I should've left it to you. Ain't like I think you can't stand up for yourself.âÂ
Javier shakes his head. âIt is not a new thing,â he tells you. âThank you.âÂ
You wave your hand. âMy pa always used to say people's people. Donât matter what they look likeâwe all get hungry 'n thirsty 'n tired.âÂ
Javier hums, seemingly pulled into deeper thought by your words, and the rest of the way home you ride in silence. You're not sure what's on his mind save for that he seems vaguely troubled, his mind miles away. Must be about his past.Â
You let him be when you get back, wanting him to have the space without someone prodding at him. He spends a lot of time with Boaz the rest of the day and you busy yourself with your own chores. But you eat together outside in the warm summer evening, as always, even if Javier's still caught in his pensive mood. You don't mind the silence anyhow. You look over the grass waving in the wind, the soft sounds of chickens drifting from their coop. Your eye rests on your garden with a mix of contentment and pride, and absentmindedly you let yourself be pulled into musings of what to plant next and where. Peas do well this time of year.Â
You startle when Javier starts to speak. âI came to America because I killed a man in Mexico.â You turn to him as he talks. His eyes are set on the horizon, softening orange and reds announcing the end of another day. âPowerful man. If I stayed everyone I loved would die. I was afraid when I got hereâI had nothing except fear. I was starving. Weak. ...Alone.âÂ
Javier looks at you, finally. His dark eyes are pained, grave. So that's what happened to him before you found him. You'd wondered, of course. The scar around his neck that he hides with his bandana. His wariness, his guarded gaze when he meets someone new. Â
So he killed a man. You wonder if you should be frightened of himâbeautiful Javier with his sometimes sad eyes, who calls your chickens âladiesâ and who hums while he brushes Copper for you; who burns his fingers and his tongue because he's too impatient to wait for your pies to cool, and who fusses over the wrinkles in his blouses.Â
You can't bring yourself to be.Â
âI thought I'd die crossing the desert. I thought I'd be killed hereâinstead I was simply starving because nobody cared.â He puts his plate beside him, the spoon clattering against the ceramic with a soft clink. Reaches for your hand, hesitant, slow. âYou cared.âÂ
Without thinking about it you turn your palm upwards to take his hand, and his fingers hold onto you tighter when you do. Compassion and sympathy pinch your brow. âThen I'm glad I found you when I did.âÂ
âYou saved my life,â Javier replies. His tone is so soft, and it squeezes your heart. Oh, the soft feelings pooling in your chestâyou can't, you shouldn't. You attempt a smile, trying to force levity into your voice.Â
âAnd you paid me back ten times over with all the work you done âround here.â You hesitate. Try to burn the feeling of the weight of his hand in yours into your memory. â...You're free to go where you like now.âÂ
The way he smiles at you then makes you wonder if he understood what you meant, but somehow you just can't bring yourself to ask.Â
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