#but suffice it to say i wanna read more of her books

[cressidagrey]

Looked to the Sky - Chapter 7

Summary: 

Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azriel‘s mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.

Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.

Warnings: 

THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!

Elain Bashing, Magical Help with Dyslexia, Rhys is a good big brother, Azriel finally is less of an idiot and without @k-godling this would have never happened.

(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)

"I am supposed to...read all of these?" Eira asked Rhys with a grimace. He had dropped a stack of books in front of her at breakfast the next day...after Azriel and she had...come to an understanding of sorts. After…

She didn’t want to think of it. Not right now. She needed something else…something to take her mind off it. Of all of it.  

And Rhys sufficed.

Rhys chuckled, his shoulders shaking with silent amused laughter.

“It's just three books,” he replied with a wide smile. “Magical Primers of sorts. They’ll help you understand how magic works. I recommend starting with the one at the bottom of the pile. That’ll probably be the easiest to digest.”

“How long do I have?” She asked weakly. 

“You’ve got a week,” Rhys said, and the horror dawned on her face. A week. She could never read that in a week. Maybe one book. Maybe if she did nothing else and didn't sleep. Maybe then. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice growing gentle. "I know it probably is....overwhelming...."

"I can't read that." Eira blurted out.

"You can't read these books or you can't read at all?" Rhys asked her, no judgement in his voice.

"I can read," she assured him weakly. "I just..." she hesitated. "Promise not to laugh?" she asked him, her voice trembling.

The look on Rhys’ face became instantly serious, the gentle look in his gaze became even more gentle as he took in her expression. "Of course I promise," he assured her, and his voice was so sincere, it almost made her feel like crying.

"The letters change positions," she admitted, her voice tiny.  "I know it sounds insane, but I swear it's what happens."

Rhys was silent, his expression thoughtful. He didn't call out her insanity or brush her off or call her a liar. He just nodded and asked calmly, "What, exactly, do you mean by that? How exactly do they change positions?"

Her shoulders drew up to her ears, her chin drooping in shame. "They...when I'm looking at a word, the letters move around. Switch places. So that the word I'm looking at isn't always the word I'm reading," she explained.

His expression was still calm, like he wasn't shocked or disgusted or horrified by her admission. But a strange look had come to his face, like something she had just said had...clicked in his mind, like he had just figured something out.

"Have you always had this issue with letters?" he asked quietly.

She bit her lip, her face going red with humiliation. "Yes," she admitted quietly. "It first started happening when I learned to read...some of the letters changed around, and I started saying other words, the wrong words. I...Our Grandmother wasn't...she  yelled at me for 'not paying attention'..." Though that was the least she had done. She nearly flinched when she remembered the ruler to the top of her hands.

A muscle ticked in Rhysand's jaw, and for a moment, Eira swore she saw the hint of anger flare on his face. "How old were you?" he asked, almost growling out the words.

"Four," she said quietly, and for a moment, she could have sworn she saw a flash of fury on his face. But it was gone so quickly, she couldn’t be sure.

"So your grandmother punished you for this?" he asked, his voice almost too calm. Like he was holding in some very strong emotions

"Yes," she admitted quietly. "She...she would yell at me and hit me with a ruler. On the fingers." She could still feel that stinging pain, the white-hot sharpness of it. How it had felt when…

"And your parents knew about this?" he asked, his voice low and careful. Like he was trying desperately to keep from letting whatever anger or fury he was feeling slip out.

"No, I...I didn't tell them," Eira confessed. "I was afraid they'd be angry at me for being stupid, because I kept getting words wrong and couldn't read right....and I was afraid Grandmama would get really angry...and I was afraid that I deserved it. Because I can't read like I should."

Rhys was quiet for a long moment, his eyes staring off into space. His hands were clenched into tight, white-knuckled fists. The muscles in his jaw were jumping, like he was trying very hard to keep in the anger that was burning under his skin.

"The letters...the letters that keep changing places...that's a common learning disability, Eira," he finally said quietly. "It's...if you had been born Fae, it would have been caught when you began your lessons and it would have been managed."

Eira’s head jerked up, a small, almost desperate hope flaring in her chest. "Y-you mean...that’s normal? You…you’ve seen others with that issue before?"

Rhys nodded, and there was a grim anger in his eyes as he said, "Yes. And there are ways to help with it, spells to manage it...and it never, never involves a child being yelled at and hit with a ruler."

Something tightened in her throat, and her eyes were suddenly hot. But she fought back the tears...she was not going to cry about this. She would not cry.

Rhys took a deep breath, his hands unfurling from the tight fists he had clenched them into.

He took one of the book, opened it and then did a complicated-looking hand movement over it. He handed it to her. She blinked.

The letters were...different. The script was different. The script was so crystal clear, the lines further apart...for the first time in her life it didn't feel like trying to swim upstream as she read the first few lines. It felt...nearly easy.

"There are different ways to transfigure the spell...different fonts, different colours...spacing. If this doesn't work, we'll try another one."

A shuddering breath left her, and the tears that she had been trying to hold back spilt down her cheeks. In only a few moments, he had done what her entire life of trying and struggling and praying to make sense of the words hadn't, making the script so clear like it was just suddenly easy when it had never been easy in her life.

"Thank you," she whispered to him, her hands trembling slightly as she held the book. "Thank you." She didn't know how else to say it, because it felt like he had given her something priceless...something she had always longed for, something so wonderful, that she didn't even have words for it, had no way of describing the depth of gratitude she felt. And Rhys’s gaze was so gentle as he looked at her.

"I’m just sorry that you've had to go your whole life without that," he murmured gently to her. "No one should struggle that much for something that should come so easily."

And it was that easy suddenly. 

The practical part of learning to control her magic…well that was another thing entirely. They were out in the garden, mostly because Eira was terrified of the idea of burning down the house. 

Rhys sat across from her, not looking worried in the slightest. "It's your magic. There is no need to be afraid," he told her seriously. "Don't be afraid. It will bend to your will. It will do what you want it to do."

She swallowed hard, trying to believe him. He was right....but it was so hard. She was so used to thinking of her magic as wild and uncontrollable, and the thought of letting loose the power that coursed through her veins, of letting it loose into the world...scared her.

"It killed four men," she disagreed quietly. "it burned down trees."

Rhys gently took her hand, his large calloused fingers wrapping around her smaller, paler ones. "I know," he murmured to her. "It did. But those men were trying to harm you, little one. That's why your magic acted as it did, because it was protecting you, because you were in danger. I’m here with you now, I’m not going anywhere. You won't hurt me. You have control. You have control."

Something tightened her chest, his words echoing through her like a soothing balm. He was right. She could control this, if she tried.

She exhaled slowly, breathing out the fear and doubt that was trying to wrap around her heart and soul. "I...I can do this."

A smile curved his lips, his fingers squeezing hers reassuringly. "Yes, you can," he told her, and let go of her hand. "Now, start simple. Don’t focus on anything specific. Just...let your magic flow."

She let out a shaky breath, closing her eyes and reaching for her magic. It was like a roaring flame under her skin, just waiting, aching to be let loose.

She let it flow, let the heat of it fill her, let it course through her veins.

She could feel it. Could feel it spark over her skin. Could...

Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw the tendrils of her magic swirling around her hands. Little sparks snapped along her fingertips, and she had to fight to keep the magic contained.

"Very good," Rhys praised her. "You are doing well." She wet her lips, carefully pulling and pushing...concentrating her magic on her hands. It reacted nearly...rushing. Like it wanted to please her. Like it wanted to help her.

It was nearly like it was alive, like a living thing under her skin...like it wanted to please her. Like it was aching, desperate, to be used, to be commanded. It took a moment to get used to the feel of it, like this wild, feral thing that obeyed her commands, that rushed to her skin at her merest whim.

The lightning crackled between her open hands...and then she pushed it away.

When she pushed, it went. Slid back. Coiled back under her skin, a roiling heat that still burned under her skin, but obeyed her command. It obeyed her. That thought sent a shock through her, that this fearsome, powerful force that had killed 4 faes...it obeyed her. It listened to her.

A quiet, ragged gasp left her, her breath leaving her in a whoosh.

Rhys grinned at her, pride and pleasure gleaming in his eyes. “Very good,” he praised her voice, and his hand squeezed her own. “That was very well done.”

Eira’s hands were trembling violently, her breath shuddering out of her mouth as the adrenaline coursed through her veins. She had done it. She had let loose that fearsome power, and she hadn't hurt anything, hadn't destroyed, hadn't killed. She had controlled it. She had controlled it.

"I didn't hurt you?"

Rhys just smiled at her, lifting a hand and gently running his fingers through her hair. "No," he assured her, his voice gentle. "You did very well. I knew you could do it."

A shuddering sigh left her, and even though she was shaking violently with the adrenaline, her heart was lighter than it had been in days. Because it had worked, she had done it, and she hadn't hurt him.

"The more you do it, the easier it will be," Rhys promised her. "Maybe you'll be able to light a candle with it even."

A small smile tugged at the edges of her lips, and she let out a watery laugh. "A candle?" she repeated, the words sounding almost absurd. The magic she had could burn down a forest. And he was talking about lighting a candle.

A chuckle left his lips, and he leaned over to press a comforting kiss to the top of her head. “Maybe in a few days,” he told her, and warmth blossomed in her chest. “When you get a bit more used to it. But you did well, Eira. You did verywell.”

She had never expected her lessons to be this… undramatic. She'd half-expected sparks, explosions, destruction.

What she hadn't expected was to feel something almost like peace once her magic was unleashed, like it was settling instead of trying to break free.

It was a strange, but almost comforting sensation. Like something had suddenly clicked inside of her, like a piece of her soul that she hadn't even known was missing had finally settled.

At least one thing in her life was…easy.

It was a novelty, she'd admit. To have something in her life that didn't feel like an endless struggle to understand, that didn't feel like everything was stacked against her.

She'd never had anything in her life that was effortless, that came easy to her. Something that made her feel...like she was good at it...like she was talented.

“There is something else that I wanted to talk to you about,” Rhys said quietly. “We received the formal invitation for Elain’s wedding.”

The mention of her sister's name made her blood go cold, and the little bubble of peace inside of her popped like a balloon, leaving her with nothing but a hollow, aching emptiness.

"Oh," she mumbled the word, the sound falling from her lips like a dead thing.

“If you don’t want to attend…neither of us will say a single thing against it,” Rhys said quietly.

The thought of going to this wedding, of seeing her sister walk down the isle, dressed all in white, her hair all done up, with a smile on her face...it was like someone had reached into her chest, wrapped their hands around her heart, and squeezed.

She had never imagined missing Elain’s wedding. But she wanted more than anything to stay far, far away from that stupid, awful event.

She never wanted to see her twin sister again. What did that say about her?

But even as she thought that, even as angry as she was...a part of her still loved her twin sister. A part of her still wanted to reconcile. And that thought made her chest ache with how badly she missed her, with how much she longed to just reach out and fix everything, to go back to how things had been before her sister had said those horrible, awful words to her.

Before she had tried to take her future from Eira. Her baby.

It was such a bitter thought, something that made her chest throb with remembered pain. Elain knew how much she had wanted a baby, how much she had dreamed of holding her own child in her arms...knew how desperately hopeful Eira had been.

And Elain had tried to take that from her.

“Eira,” Rhys said carefully, a look at her hands and she saw the lightning sparking at her fingertips. She willed it away. It disappeared.

She swallowed hard, her hands shaking as she clenched them tightly together, willing the sparks to quell. But the anger, the pain, they burned in her chest, like a flame inside of her, and she couldn't keep the words from coming out, from tumbling past her lips in a rush."All my life, all I ever wanted was to be a mother," she managed to force out, her voice shaking with unshed tears and pain. "All I ever wanted--all I longed for ...was to be a mother, and she, she..."

Her breath came out in a shuddering gasp, and she took a few deep breaths before saying, "She tried to take that from me. I...I would have had that baby by now, Rhys...I would have. And she was just going to...she wanted to take that from me."

“I know,” Rhys said softly. “I know.”

She closed her eyes tightly and took a few deep, shuddering breaths, fighting back the burning pain in her chest, the hot tears that were pricking at her eyes.

"Why would she do that?” she whispered, her voice barely a breath. “Why...why would she want to take them from me...?"

Take her babies…and take Azriel too. Because that’s what it felt like. 

Elain had wrapped him around her little finger so that Eira didn’t even have a chance.

“Jealousy,” Rhys answered with a sigh. “Her mind was a wasteland of jealousy, Eira. She was so used to having every male fall all over himself for her…and suddenly there was this vision that showed her twin sister with a male she herself found handsome. And Elain couldn’t have him…nobody could.”

It was an answer she had almost expected, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. It didn’t make the pain any less real.

"She's my sister," Eira whispered. "How...how could she be so selfish? So cruel?"

And it hurt, it burned to even think, to wonder how her sister could have done that to her, had been willing to do that to her.

"I've miss her so much," Eira mumbled, the words like broken blades in her chest. "Every day, I miss her more than I can even put into words ...but how could I ever face her, after what she did...? How could I?"

It was like a storm in her chest, the pain and uncertainty, anger and anguish warring inside of her, and she fought to hold it all in, to keep it behind locked doors inside of her. So much anger...and it was warring with her grief. The two were at odds, at war inside her heart.

“Azriel said that he would come along if you wanted to go,” Rhys said quietly. “We would be there to…you wouldn’t need to face her alone. I am sure Cassian would even borrow you a sword if you wanted one.”

The thought of walking into that wedding, of being on display with the rest of her family...it sent a cold shudder through her. But if her friends were with her, if they were there...maybe she could do it.

Maybe she could go, just this once. Not to celebrate her sister, but to mourn her. Mourn the sister who had been, even if she was gone.

“Yes,” she whispered. “I think I….maybe I’d like that.”

She swallowed hard and looked up to meet Rhys’ eyes. “If I was to attend...if I was to go to the wedding...would you and Azriel be there with me?”

Rhys nodded immediately, his jaw clenching, a hardness in his eyes. "Of course," he assured her, his voice firm and brooking no discussion.

"Azriel will be there, and I'll be there, and Cassian will be there and your sisters damn well better be there too."

She swallowed hard, her heart beating a little bit faster at his words. The thought of walking into that wedding, knowing all eyes would be on her...but Rhys would be there. Azriel would be there. Nesta and Feyre.

Maybe she could do it. Maybe she could.

Even if she wasn’t quite sure that Azriel at Elaine’s wedding was a good idea.

But she pushed that jealousy down. She couldn't...she couldn't...she couldn't keep bringing that up. There must be a day someday in the future where she forgave him for...that. Where she was willing to move on.

She drew in a slow breath, but she couldn't keep the words inside of her. "How...how is Azriel doing?" she asked, her words quiet. "With...Elain, and the wedding...?"

Rhys stared at her. "Eira, I can honestly say, that I don't think that has even crossed his mind," he said quietly.

Her chest went a bit warm at that, at that knowledge. At the thought that Azriel was...fine. That Azriel didn’t...care about Elain's wedding in the slightest.

But a small part of her, a part of her that almost frightened her, couldn't help but wonder....

"It hasn't?" she repeated, and she cursed the thread of hope in her voice.

Rhys studied her for a second or two, as if he, too, could hear the hope in her voice, the need. “No,” he said simply. “It seems that all my spymaster cares about is Elain's twin sister."

***

Azriel should probably consider himself lucky that Nesta hadn't used Ataraxia to cut his throat. Granted, as she had said, the only reason why she didn't was because Eira would be upset if he died.

No, he supposed that was a pretty good reason not to kill him. "And if you ever treat my sister like that again, I'll wring your neck," Nesta hissed.

He didn't doubt that she would.

"Noted," he said, and he was pretty sure he heard Cassian snicker behind them

But what he didn't add was the fact that, if he had that horrible conversation with Eira again, he'd wring himself by the neck. For being such an idiot, such a stupid bastard.

If he ever saw her cry like she had, shake like a leaf because he had broken her heart, shattered it. 

"What are you going to do now?" Cassian asked him. "Anything new on your...wall?"

Ah, the wall.

The wall of doom, as the others had taken to calling it. Or more accurately, 'Azriel's obsessive chart of Eira's life'. 

He had taken the whole thing down. And then put it back up. Put it back up with everything else the shadows could tell him. 

"No," he said. How did he go forward with Eira? How did he...do this? How did he mend things, make things better? He was a Shadowsinger, a spymaster, a warrior and a killer. He had absolutely no idea how to deal with something like this.

"I would suggest you actually try to talk to her this time," Nesta said frostily. "And you owe her an apology as well, Cassian," she hissed.

Cassian let out a long sigh. "Alright," he said, before raising his hands in supplication at the look on Nesta's face. "Alright, I'll talk to her. Jeez, I said I would."

Azriel just suppressed a smile. He had a feeling Cassian had learned to tread very carefully around his mate, not wanting to spark a war between himself and the very, very scary Lady Death of the Night Court.

"That's usually my speciality though," he drawled. "Saying idiotic things. I think it's actually one of my gifts, really."

"Yeah, you've already displayed that gift for Eira, and it was quite a wonderful performance," she said dryly. "Perhaps you could try to make it up to her, hmm?"

"I'll...do my best," he mumbled, and he would, damnit. He would do his absolute best to make this right.

“So where are you going to take her next?” Cassian asked. “I would suggest somewhere you could actually talk to her.”

He'd thought a lot about it, for longer than he really should admit, and he had a few ideas.

"I was actually...thinking of a picnic," he confessed.

"A picnic?" Cassian asked, his voice almost disbelieving. "You and a picnic. Those two words...I never thought I'd hear them in the same sentence, Az."

Azriel just scowled. "What's wrong with a picnic?" he asked, his voice a bit defensive.

"Picnics are for romance," Cassian said, his voice almost gleeful with how teasing it was. "You're going to have a romantic picnic? Is there going to be wine, and roses, and candlelight?"

Azriel felt his heart skip a beat at that...and he had to admit, some of those things actually sounded rather nice...but that didn't mean he was going to admit that.

"Eira doesn't drink wine," Nesta said drily..

Azriel nearly cursed, but caught himself. Right, Eira didn't drink. At all.

Damnit. There went the wine.

"No wine, then," Azriel grumbled. "No wine, but it's still going to be a very romantic picnic, trust me."

"And where do you want to have your very romantic picnic?" Cassian drawled.

"I thought the River Bank at the House," Azriel admitted. She would be comfortable there...If she wanted to get away from him...she easily could.

Cassian actually looked a bit surprised at that. "Huh," he said, sounding a bit impressed against his will. "Didn't think of that. She'll...feel safe there. Plus, there are a few beautiful spots there..."

He swallowed back a bit of the anxiety that he felt. "So...you're saying it's a not completely idiotic idea?"

"It's...definitely a good idea," Cassian conceded. "As long as you actually talk to her this time.  “

"What are you thinking for food?" Nesta asked him pointedly.

She was asking him that question as if he actually knew how to cook anything other than a piece of meat over the fire. He was a court-trained, highly skilled warrior, a Carynthian. He could fight, intimidate, and kill. Asking him to cook? That was a completely different thing…

“I’ll have the shadows pick up some things from a restaurant in the city…that way it will actually be edible,” he answered. 

"I feel like that's probably a very good idea," Cassian said, and Azriel could hear the poorly concealed laughter in his voice.

"Shut up," he growled, but there wasn't enough actual heat in his words. 

“She likes raspberries,” Nesta told him graciously. “She once nearly made herself sick by eating so many of them…If you can get any, she will be delighted,” she promised him. 

Raspberries. He could do raspberries. 

The shadows procured raspberry tarts. He also had them pass Eira a note, asking for her company that evening, receiving her agreement quickly. 

She was giving him a chance. 

Which was how he ended up in the River House with a Picnic Basket, a blanket and a dream.

He chose a place on the bank of the river, a place that was secluded and quiet. A place where he could show Eira that he hadn’t come here to ambush or intimidate her, but to talk to her, to listen.

And then he found her. Waiting for him on the back porch, a book in her hand. 

She hadn't heard him yet, hadn't even noticed him.

He paused, for a moment, taking her in like this.

Beautiful. Even when she was just sitting there, reading and unaware that he was there, she was so damn beautiful that it made him ache inside.

Azriel found his heart catching at the sight of her, the sunlight dappling down through the trees, and the look of near serenity on her face as she read.

He almost didn’t want to disturb her, wanted to just let her remain there as she was, but he pushed down the urge and slowly stepped towards her.

"Eira?" he asked quietly, and it was almost a crime how lovely she looked in the sunlight as she lifted her head from her book, her blue eyes widening in surprise to the sight of him.

"Azriel," she said, her voice soft, and something in his heart twisted as he saw her hands tighten almost imperceptibly on the cover of her book. He swallowed hard, his heart clenching tight at the sight of it.

"I, um," he mumbled, forcing the words from his stupid, clumsy tongue. "I..." He swallowed hard, "I...brought a few things," he finished lamely, setting the picnic basket down at the foot of the porch.

"A picnic," she said, and he could hear the almost faint wonder in her voice. He dared to look up towards her, and saw her watching him, her eyes slightly wide, her lips parted.

"Yes," he said quietly, forcing words past the lump in his throat. "A...picnic," he repeated. "I, um...I thought...If you were willing…"

She was watching him, her blue eyes wide with surprise, the sunlight dappling down across her head, making parts of her braid gleam in gold.

He swallowed once more, his heart clenching in his chest. "I...I wanted to talk to you," he finally managed to confess. "If that’s...if that’s okay."

There was a moment of silence, and he felt like he was going to choke as he watched the different emotions flicker across her eyes.

Surprise, trepidation, hope, and more surprise...and there was a hint of vulnerability in her eyes, as if his words made her scared. Terrified. And he couldn’t blame her, really, not when he had royally messed up last time.

But she slowly nodded, her lips barely curving in the ghost of a smile. “Y—yes,” she said quietly. “I’d like that. Talking, I mean.”

"WIll you come with me?" he asked her, holding out his hand and her smile widened.

He caught a flash of something in her eyes before she slowly stood up, setting her book aside and lifting her own hand to meet his.

He fought the urge to let out a long sigh of relief or to clutch her hand too tightly as she slowly stepped down off the porch, and he gently led her over to the blanket that he had already laid out by the river.

He let go of her hand and watched as she slowly sat down on the blanket, tucking her legs underneath her. Her blue skirts puddled around her and he wondered how she managed to look elegantly while doing it. He stayed standing for a moment, just watching her, taking in the sight of her sitting there on the blanket that he had laid out for her.

Slowly, he also sank down into a sitting position, careful to keep some space between them. He didn’t want to...to startle her, overwhelm her, make her run.

He busied herself with unpacking the food.  

"I love a picnic," Eira said quietly. "When we were still at the cottage, sometimes we ate outside just for a change of scenery. Don't get me wrong, it was...the winters were horrible. But not everything was," Eira whispered. "When we were glamoured...I missed it sometimes. I didn't know what to do with my time when we had staff again. When I didn't need cook, didn't need to harvest vegetables and we could just buy them..."

He had to swallow at that confession. He hadn’t...he hadn’t even realized that she would miss those days, even though of course she would. She’d had...had a life at that cottage, a family, a home.

Even when they had struggled…she still had those things. 

"What do you miss the most?" he asked her curiously, handing her a plate and cutlery, and she thanked him with a smile. 

She went quiet for a moment as she thought about that question, her head tilting faintly to the side before she spoke again.

“I think…” she began, her voice a mere murmur. “I think I miss the animals the most. We were at the edge of a forest...you could see deers sometimes...sometimes stray cats...I loved the stray cats. There was this one...it was ancient. Only had half a tail," she recounted with a laugh. "It used to come visit me when I was gardening...Sun itself in a spot and keep me company, listen to me singing...let me pet it however much I wanted."

He could almost picture that image. Could picture her, singing a soft, quiet song, as a cat sat in a patch of sunlight, enjoying her music.

He found himself wondering...he found himself wondering what other secrets Eira was hiding. How many more things he didn’t know about her. How many things he had never realized, never even thought about before...

"Do you actually enjoy gardening?" he asked her, unable to help himself.

She blinked at that question, looking...surprised he had asked. Then she nodded, a small smile on her lips. "Yes," she confessed. "It was a part of my chores, a part of survival, but I enjoyed it. It was..." She paused as if she almost wasn’t sure how to explain herself. "It was soothing," she confessed quietly. "Gardening...it keeps my hands preoccupied. Busy. And you get a result at the end of it... It...it was good."

"I couldn't hunt...I have absolutely no talent for that...so when Feyre started hunting...I made sure that she didn't need to worry about anything else," she explained.

He swallowed against the lump in his throat as she explained more about how their lives had been at the cottage, at how they had divided their tasks and...how they had survived.

How she had kept Feyre from having even more weight on her shoulders. Had taken that weight onto her own.

He wanted to ask her, wanted to ask her if it had been hard. If the weight of surviving had been too heavy for her.

But he...he didn’t want to push her. Didn’t want to bring up unpleasant memories, not when they finally had a chance to talk to each other.

"And you?" she suddenly asked, jolting him from his thoughts.

"You...you train and fight," she said quietly. “Is...is that soothing for you? Can you just...turn off your brain that way?"

It was a quiet, direct question, and it sent a shard of a shiver down his spine.

He wanted to lie to her about it. Wanted to say that yes, hunting and killing creatures and people was soothing, that he could turn off all of his mind and become the living, breathing blade that he was.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to her. He found his throat bobbing as he swallowed once more, trying to find the right words to explain himself that wasn’t just excuses.

"Not always," he confessed quietly. "There are nights...there are nights when I can sleep, when I can just let go. When the killing is necessary to keep the people I care about safe," he said.

He was about to go on when his throat was dry, and he had to swallow hard before continuing. "But...there are nights when I can’t," he continued, his voice a painful whisper. "There are nights when the killing is not necessary, and I can’t…I can’t just forget after it."

It was the most open he had ever been with anyone, including his brothers, about the truth of what was inside him.

But with Eira...he wanted to be open. Wanted to be honest. He wanted her to finally know how broken he was, how damaged he was, and see if she would still look at him with those beautiful, wide blue eyes of her and not turn away.

To his surprise, she didn’t. Instead, she...she slowly nodded, that quiet understanding in her gaze.

The expression in her eyes...she understood. She understood how broken he was. How he was nothing more than a weapon. A killing machine in the shape of a male. She understood that brokenness and she wasn’t running.

“You should have a hobby,” she said finally, and there was a soft, teasing lilt in her voice. Surprising him. He expected hesitation, coldness maybe…but she was clearly serious about giving him a chance. 

“A hobby,” she repeated, her voice still so very teasing. “Something to help you wind down, to relax, and to...to keep your mind occupied. Instead of just going to the training rings all the time like Cassian always says you do. It's why I garden, why I sew...why I embroider," she answered honestly. "It calms me. Feyre paints...I do that." He nodded, feeling the lump in his throat growing even larger. 

She sewed and embroidered and gardened. And she did them all to try and calm her mind and heart, to distract herself even a little from how broken the world really was, to try and make something beautiful.

"I like listening to music," he said quietly.

"Like the symphony," Eira recounted and he nodded.

Which reminded him of the harp he had given her...

"I am sorry about the harp," he blurted out.

"Why?" Eira asked him, shock evident on her face. "Why would you be sorry about..."

"I didn't even think about that fact that giving you the same thing that you lost to keep your family from starving was maybe not...the kindest thing to do."

Eira froze for a moment, something like shock flickering across her face before she let out a quiet, somewhat shaky laugh, and he felt a cold ball of fear form in his stomach. She was…she was upset. Surely she had to be upset. But her voice was level and soft when she spoke.

“You really think that it…that it bothers me?” she asked, incredulity in her voice. “That I care that you gave me the same instrument that I had to sell?”

He opened his mouth, ready to tell her that yes, that was exactly what he thought, and that he had hurt her, but she cut him off.

“Azriel,” she said quietly, and the way she said it, the way his name rolled over her tongue, was like a gentle caress. His thoughts stuttered to a halt and he stared at her.

“I…I didn't think twice about that,” Eira confessed quietly. “I am so happy about the harp. About the fact that you gave it to me, and the fact that I can play again, do something that I loved...”

That confession...it was shattering him. He had worried over that harp, over the fact that he had probably reminded her of the worst parts of her life without even realizing it, but here she was, telling him that it hadn't even crossed her mind.

“I…" Azriel swallowed hard, his throat painfully tight, but he forced himself to speak anyway. "Then…you’re not…you’re not upset with me about it?" he asked again, his heart clenching in hope, in terror, in prayer, and she simply shook her head, her eyes still filled with that quiet wonder.

“No,” she murmured to him, her voice so soft and gentle. “No, I am not. How could I be? How could I be upset about the fact that you gave me something that I love, when you did it out of kindness, out of some attempt to make me happy?”

"I went about it wrong," he said quietly. "I should have...I should have actually talked to you. Asked you what you wanted...what you liked to do."

"We can talk. I like talking to you like this," Eira admitted quietly. "Getting to know you...I..."

He felt something in his heart tug at her admission, at her quiet confession. She…she liked talking to him. She wanted to get to know him better, to have him get to know her better.

He couldn’t stop a smile from tugging at his lips as he nodded, hope swelling in his chest.

He felt something in his heart tug at her admission, at her quiet confession. She…she liked talking to him. She wanted to get to know him better, to have him get to know her better.

"I wrote a list of questions," he admitted and she started laughing.

"Is that how the spymaster gets information?" she teased him.

He groaned in embarrassment, feeling the back of his neck starting to flush hotly as she just kept laughing. “Hush,” he muttered, his voice almost pleading. “Please, just hush."

Her laughter was like music, that was all there was to it. It sent something warm and golden through his heart, made him almost dizzy with how lovely it was, and he found himself wanting to hear more of it.

To hear her laugh just like that all the time, for the rest of his life...that would be Heaven.

"What's your favourite colour?" he asked her, and the amusement glinted in her eyes.

“Blue,” Eira answered, honestly, a blush rising on her cheeks. 

Blue.

He hadn’t known that. 

"And yours?" she asked him.

For just a moment he came up empty. What was his favourite colour? Black? "Blue," he answered, honestly. Blue. Blue because it meant coming home. The colour of the sky...of his siphons...of Eira's eyes.

"Favourite Food?" he asked her, clearing his throat.

She had to bite down on her lower lip before answering, trying and failing to keep her amusement from overwhelming her completely. “Favourite food?” she echoed faintly. “You really…a question like that is on your list?”

To his mortification, he was blushing now. He had made that list, trying to come up with as many possible good questions as he could think of. And of course, he had also put some of the stupidest and most mundane questions he could think of on that list as well.

"It is,” he muttered awkwardly, and she outright laughed again, burying her face in her hands this time, but it was a fond sort of laughter. Like she thought the question was ridiculous but was amused and charmed by his effort anyway.

"I want to know you," he admitted quietly.

Her laughter stopped, like she’d suddenly been stunned into silence. She slowly pulled her hands down from her face, that blush on her cheeks still there as she met his eyes.

“I…you do?” she whispered in surprise, and there was a trace of…something in her voice. Hope, perhaps. A hope that he meant what he said.

“Yes,” he answered her quietly, the word coming out in a strangled whisper as a wave of heat washed through him. He meant it. He meant it more than anything.

"Mine is this Illyrian candy that involves nuts and honey," he admitted. "It's so sweet that your teeth get stuck together."

Her eyes widened at that, and her lips parted in surprise. He could practically see her trying to imagine just how sweet those nuts and honey had to be, to make your teeth stick together.

Then she let out a soft laugh, the sound like music to his ears. “Oh goodness,” she muttered. “That sounds like…that sounds like something that tastes amazing and gives you a stomach ache at the same time.”

“It is,” he confessed, and he found himself smiling as he did so. “It’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten…and it makes me feel sick to my stomach if I eat too much of it.”

"Raspberries for me," Eira admitted to him. "I once nearly got myself sick with eating so many of them too."

"Look in the basket," he told her.

She squealed. Squealed as she saw the tarts, her eyes widening in surprise before a look like ecstasy washed over her face. His heart stopped in that moment, his breath catching in his throat as this beautiful female made such an adorable sound over pastries that he had brought, for her.

The shock and surprise on her face lasted for only a moment, before being replaced with absolute and childish joy, and he found a strangled chuckle tearing from his throat.

She’d…she’d squealed. Squealed and made an expression like a happy child on Solstice morning at the sight of raspberry tarts. All at something he had brought.

"How?!" she demanded.

He found himself grinning at her excitement, that childish reaction to seeing a gift in a basket. “I have my ways,” he told her with a hint of smugness in his voice, but he felt a strange rush of pride at the fact that he’d managed to surprise her like this. At the fact that he had given her something that would make her reaction so…adorable.

“In this case, the way was your sister.”

She laughed at that, the sound bright and happy.

[elexuscal]

Ficlet prompt idea! Interactions between ART and Pin-Lee and/or Mensah in the time after NE but before SC.

More thoughts if you wanted more inspiration than a single line. Does Pin-Lee teach ART some new curses ('cause ART curses alot more in this book, and I wanna blame Pin-Lee like how Rhatti mentions the overlap between MB and Pin-Lee's curse vocab)? How great would their banter be, lawyer vs know-it-all-AI?!

Is ART still kinda shy/excited by meeting Mensah?

Thank you~ I really love your work!!!

Awwww thank you very much!

Oh man i was so spoiled for choice here but i really really struggled to think of an interesting take on this

Big thank you to @specialagentartemis who i paraphrased a significant chunk of this from as well as general Vibes

Asshole vs Asshole

So here's the thing. Here's the fucking thing, okay?

Twenty-three days. Twenty-three fucking days of waiting, of worrying, of preparing. Of nearly chewing her own arm off. Of thinking she was walk into a fucking blood bath.

And the Preservation Alliance rescue team finally gets to the scene of the crime, and no one is dead. Which is fucking good, obviously. Okay. She gets it. No one's dead, no one's lost any limbs, and praise the dark gods of yesteryear, no one has even been kidnapped. This is literally better than the best-case scenarios they concocted.

But surely, surely, Pin-Lee can't be the only one who thinks it is fucking weird to be having tea with the person who did the kidnapping in the fist place?

"Thank you, Perihelion," Ayda says, as a shiny blue drone finishes pouring tea into a cup. Just a whiff and a glance is all Pin-Lee needs to know it was brewed exactly the way Dr. Mensah prefers it.

The drone turns to hover to her. It pours a drink into her own mug. Pin-Lee glares at it.

Ayda doesn't look at her, doesn't so much as tilt her head. But they've worked together for a long, long time now, and Pin-Lee nonetheless reads the subtler body language. She grinds out, "Thank you."

She sips the drink. It is coffee and it is extremely bitter and it's warm-but-not-quite-hot and Pin-Lee has a sneaking suspicion it is at least a few hours old.

[You're welcome~] Perihelion's trills as the drone zooms away.

Peri. Fucking. Helion.

Turns out, it's the one that orchestrated this whole thing. The super-secret advanced spaceship that SecUnit apparently befriended while it was off on its journey of self-discovery or whatever decided that it knew exactly who could handle its little pest control problem, and hadn't much cared which innocent civilians got stuck in the cross-fire.

"There were extenuating circumstances," SecUnit had explained, face set like it was ready for a fight.

"It's all fine, water under the bridge," Ratthi had said. "No harm done really."

"Except for the new layers of fresh trauma," Overse had groused.

"But we're handling that, too," Arada had said, with a too-bright smile. "And it's a good thing we're here to help the colonists."

"Yeah yeah and you should see ART's hydroponics bay, it's super cool," said Amena, tugging on her arm.

So suffice to say she was kind of getting some Mixed Signals about this whole thing.

But okay! Corporates descending to steal the livelihoods of hundreds of innocents! Fine! There's a lot at stake! And this is what Pin-Lee is good at, and (sort of) what she was dragged along to handle, so she is willing to put this all aside for the greater good.

Pin-Lee sips at her under-handed-insult coffee and reads over the legal feed documents of this whole cluster-fuck of a case. "Okay," she says at last. "Okay, this is salvageable. But I'm going to need to some more info before I can fully revise this.."

"Of course," says the captain of The Perihelion, a note of genuine relief in his otherwise professional voice. "What do you need?"

"1: A full list of all the symptoms associated with the contamination, and its speed of spread. That'll influence what level of breach this is classified under. 2: Estimates for all of the colonists deaths that were directly caused due to their being stranded. 3: Monetary evaluation of all the colonists' remaining assets..."

"Of course," the captain agrees

Which is fine. Except fifteen minutes later some teenager not-much-older-than-Amena shows up and hands Pin-Lee a stack of paper.

"What's this?" Pin-Lee says, her eyes immediately skidding off of the hand-written tables and charts.

"That's our evaluation of the colonists' assets, like you asked for," the teenager (Turi?) says.

Pin-Lee looks at Turi, to the papers, and back at Turi again. "Can I get this in the feed?"

"Well.... You can..." Turi says, a bit of red in their cheeks. "But..."

"But no guarantee the numbers won't be doctored there," calls Karime from the other side of the lounge.

Teeth grinding in the back of her mouth, Pin-Lee manages, "What?"

[My numbers are perfectly accurate,] Perihelion protests. [It is hardly my fault if none of you are capable of following the calculations.]

Martyn snorts. "It would help if you bothered explaining all your sources."

[Find them yourself.]

Pin-Lee can barely believe what she's hearing. "Are you telling me... that your AI keeps fucking with the numbers so bad that you need to get a teenager to do the accounts by hand."

"I'm not a teenager, I'm twenty-three." Pin-Lee huffs; as if that's a meaningful difference. "And I'm a very, very good accountant." Turi pauses, then admits, "But that's the long and short of it, yes."

Pin-Lee can't help it. She drops her head to the table and hides it under her arms.

[Do you have a problem with this state of affairs?] the very aptly re-named Asshole Research Transport oozes in her private feed.

[You really don't need me to answer that.]

[You're right. I don't.]

She uncurls her finger and makes a rude gesture. Presumably one of its thousands of cameras will see it.

That summons SecUnit into the conversation. [Are you two fucking with each other again?]

[No,] they say in unison.

[Cut it out,] SecUnit says, and then drops away. Truly a master of conflict resolution, that one.

'I'll cut it out when you learn to make nicer friends', she almost sends, but catches the obvious come-back and stops herself. Instead she takes sip of her shitty coffee and gets to work trying to interpret hand-written accounts.

[fluent-in-lesbianism]

No bugs, just a Google search lol. I read like 30+ pages of the novel and suffice to say it's not as evocative as the show, it just reads like a child trying too hard to write a romance novel... Unless it really is a child trying too hard to write a romance novel. But idk, maybe it got lost in translation, what are your thoughts after reading? I don't think I wanna continue with it, it's not very good at all. Maybe I'll just skim it to see how it ends, I don't mind spoiling myself.

I think it's both translation issues and the author. I'm not familiar with her myself, but I haven't exactly heard positive things about her writing either.

I noticed there were a lot of translation issues throughout, like phrases/expressions that probably sounded better in the original language than they do in English. The book was meh imo, but I think the show writers do a better job at fleshing her ideas out more so than the book.

But if you're interested in reading more Thai GL novels (from other authors this time), I found this post you might like. It has all the downloadable novels with English translations:

click here

[jolienjoyswriting]

Broken Gears, Ch. I

Chapter 1 of 2 for "Broken Gears," an Essence of Ragnarok story. Co-written by AI Dungeon (Griffin)

Hope decides to confront a roommate about his negative behavior toward her… and learns that this isn't the first time she's tried.

Word count: 2,944 – Character count: 17,816 Drafted: March 20th, 2023 Revised: March 21st, 2023 –

Yep.  Okay.  Just gonna want y'all, this story has some very sensitive material in it.  As in, stronger than usual.  I'm not gonna say what, exactly, but just suffice to say… it's not good.

Hope, Dylan Dumouchel, "Essence of Ragnarok", and related characters and concepts created by and © Jo Li

[ ↶ Prev. Story | ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → | Next Story ↷ ]

    Hope returned home on a breezy day during the start of the fall.  She took the elevator to the 7th floor of the apartment complex where she lived, like always, then approached the door.  She stepped in to see one of her roommates sitting in a comfy chair, reading a comic book.     "Mr. Dumouchel?"     "'Dylan'," the cat in the chair countered.  "Still 'Dylan', always 'Dylan'."     "S-sorry…"  The girl fidgeted.  "I was just a little surprised to see you home…  Carlos and Eliza went into town and I'd assumed you'd gone, too."     "Nope!" Dylan set his comic down and smiled.  "Figured I'd give those two some 'alone time'… if you get my drift."     Hope smiled back.  She paused, then…     "So… it's just us?" she asked.     "Yep."     As Dylan brought his comic back up, Hope looked away.  Something was on her mind…     "Um… h-hey, Dylan?"     "Yeah?" the man said as he read his comic.     "They're not gonna be back for a while… right?"     There was a long pause.     "Dunnooo…" he said, sounding suspicious of her.  "Whyyy…?"     Hope swallowed hard.  "W-well, I was–"     "You wanna make out or somethin'?"     The girl blinked.  If she had been capable, she probably would have blushed.     "N-No!  Of course not!" she cried, growing a little flustered.  "I love my b–"     "I'm… gonna stop ya right there, Blue."     The girl blinked as Dylan set his comic down again.  He slid out of his chair and got to his feet, stretching and popping his back.  When he started to approach her, she shrank back a little and started fidgeting with her scarf.  When he was right in front of her, she pulled it up farther, covering her mouth.  She had no idea what was going through his mind… and that made her very nervous.

    "Hope?"     "Ah–!  Y-yes?" she cried, looking at him in a start.     "You were gonna come over and give me a piece of your mind.  Weren't you?"     "Ah–!"  Again, she was startled.  "How did you–"     "You're a machine," he said with a grin, his tone teasing.  "You're predictable."     "Th-that's not true!"  The girl's face became angry.  "A-and I'm more than–"     "You're 'more than a machine'," he interrupted.  "Yeah, yeah, I know…"     The girl frowned.  "You're always like this when we're by ourselves…  Why?"     Dylan looked up at the ceiling.  Then, he told her… "It's because… I'm madly in love with you, Hope."

    Hope turned away from him, hiding behind her scarf again.     "I'm… not…" she murmured.  "That doesn't…  M-Mr. Dumouchel, I–"     "Oh, c'mon, Blue…"     The cat reached over, gently caressing the girl's cheek.     "What's Los got that I don't?  Other than muscles, I mean.  And funny-looking eyes."     "Th-that's rude!" she snapped.  "A-and he's nice, kind, and… he loves me for who I am!"     "Is that all?"  He chuckled.  "Well, I can give you a different kind of love…  In fact, I did about a month ago."     Hope blinked a couple of times, looking confused.  "What do you mean?"     The cat grinned from ear to ear, continuing to stroke her cheek.  Then, he leaned in close and whispered three words that sent chills down the girl's metallic spine…

    "I raped you."

    Hope slowly recoiled, pressing herself back against the apartment door.  She shakily looked at Dylan's face, trying to find any trace that he was just joking.  She couldn't find any…     "Y… you… you…?" she stammered, her voice wavering.     "Yeah," he said.  "I did."     She looked down… then left… then down… then she looked back up.     "O-okay, Mr. Dumouchel…" she said with a nervous laugh.  "Y-you win."     "I win," he asked, giving her a curious look.     "Yes."  She cautiously smiled.  "Y-you've made your point.  You don't want me to approach you about certain things like… like… treating me right… s-so–"     "Wait, do you think I'm kidding?"     Her smile faded.  "Y-yes.  You… you have to be!" she protested.     "No, I really did," he insisted with a straight face.     She laughed a little more, but she was starting to lose her composure.     "Y-you couldn't have…" she squeaked.  "I'd– I'd remember something like that!"     "Not if I flashed your memory."     The girl froze.  "What?" she asked, her voice cracking.     "Yeah."  The cat smiled.  "I raped you, then I flashed your short-term memory so you'd forget.  Isn't that funny?"     The girl's fear suddenly turned to anger…     "N-no!" she cried.  "That's not funny at all!  Why would you do that…?!"     "Dunno," he said with a shrug.  "You came up to me last month… got in my face about treating you like 'a person'… one thing led to another, and well…"     He found the whole thing amusing, considering how much he was chuckling.  Hope, however…

    "Y-you're a monster!" she shouted, pushing him away.  "You… you… you forced yourself on me?  And made me forget?!  H-how can you live with yourself…?!"     "I–"     "Wait, don't answer that."  She glared at him.  "I know what you're going to say."     "Oka–"     "It 'doesn't count' because I'm a 'machine', right?"     "Actually–"     "Right…"  She looked down then back up.  "I'm calling Carlos!"     "Override Command: Talon Zero Alpha Niner.  Authentication: Dumouchel."     Hope had just reached into her pocket to retrieve her phone when she heard those words.  The next thing she knew… her joints were locked in place!  She couldn't move!

    "Wh… what did you–"     The girl tried to wince when Dylan slammed his hands against the door.  She failed.     "I raped you," he said, getting right in her face, "because you were getting uppity."     "'Uppity'?!"  She angrily glared at him.  At least she could still do that…     "That's right," he said with a nod.     "In what way was I being self-righteous or arrogant?!" she demanded to know.     "As I said…"  He leaned back, putting his hands in his pockets.  "You were trying to shove your 'rights as a person' down my throat.  I didn't like it, so I froze your locomotion servos and had my way with you.  Simple as that."     "'Simple as that'?!"  She closed her eyes, wishing she could shake her head.  "There's nothing 'simple' about forcing yourself onto another person without their consent!  That's… that's a crime!!"     "I know."     The simplicity of the cat's response caught the girl off guard.  She opened her wet eyes and stared into his.  It was then that she realized…     "You're… you're not even sorry."     He chuckled.  "Nope."

    "You're not sorry you did it," she continued.  "You were trying to… to… 'put me in my place' or something and thought that… that f-forcing yourself on me would do it…"     He nodded.  "Yep."     Hope paused before asking, "Did it?"     The cat chuckled again.  "Two cracked ribs and a funny limp would say 'no'."     She paused again.  "I… cracked your ribs…?"     "You got me in an all-limb bear hug and squeezed me 'til I snapped."     "I…"  Her eyes turned to the floor.  "I-I'm so sorry…"     Once again… she paused.     "But…"  She looked back up, angrily glaring again.  "You deserved it if you did… that!"     "Which, I did."     "Th– then, you deserved it!!" she reinforced.     He shrugged.  "Never said I didn't."     Once again, the sheer audacity of his words made the girl both concerned and infuriated.

    "Why are you being so carefree about this?!  You committed a crime!  A serious crime!!" she added.  "It doesn't matter if I'm an android!  You forced yourself on me without my permission or consent!  Was I even awake when this happened?!"     "Yeah."  He chuckled a little more.  "You didn't like it."     "As well I shouldn't!"     "But, look–"     "Dylan!" she snapped.  "You're not just a jerk!  You're a criminal!  You're… you're…"     The cat raised an eyebrow.  "'Evil'?  A 'villain'?  The 'bad guy'…?"     "I… y-yes!!" she sputtered.     "Fine."     The cat paused to clear his throat.     "Override Command: Talon One Alpha Niner.  Authentication: Dumouchel."     Hope staggered back against the door as her joints became unlocked.  She stood, then, and looked at Dylan.  She didn't know what to say at that point.     "What now?" he asked as Hope continued doing what she was before he'd frozen her.     "I'm… I'm going to call my boyfriend, then I'm going to call the police," she calmly answered.  Her expression turned suspicious as she asked, "Why…?"     "Just curious."     Dylan slowly turned around and started talking back into the living room proper.  As he did, Hope… hesitated.     "Aren't… aren't you going to stop me?" she pressed.     "Hey," the cat answered, "you've got me dead to rights.  I committed a crime and I should have to pay for it.  So… go for it."     "O-okay… I will!"

    Hope started to dial her boyfriend's number… but she couldn't take her eyes off Dylan.  She kept expecting him to do or say something…     "I'm… calling him now," she warned.     "Okay," the cat answered as he sat in his chair.     "It's… ringing," she told him.     "Okay," he said in return, retrieving his comic book.     "You're… not going to stop me?"     "Should I?"     Hope… didn't have an answer for that.

    "Hello?  What is it, Hope?"

    Carlos' voice came through the phone's speaker.  Hope should have been happy to hear him.  However… she was far too distracted.     "Hope?" he called.  "You there?"     "Yes," she eventually answered.  "Yes, I'm here, Carlos."     "What do you want?" he asked in his usual tone.     "I'm calling because… I mean…"     She glanced over at the cat.  He cheerfully waved at her before returning to his comic.     "I… I need to tell you something about Dylan," she continued.     "What about him?" the wolf answered.     Hope… hesitated again.  She was still watching the cat sit there with his back against one arm and his butt against the other arm of his chair, reading a comic book like nothing was going on.  Something wasn't adding up…     "He's… he…"     "Is he okay?" Carlos randomly asked.  "I know the idiot hurt himself last month."     "He's…"     Hope paused.  And then…

    "He's fine."

    "He's fine?"     Her boyfriend sounded confused.  And understandably so.     "Y-yes," she answered.  "He's just fine."     There was a pause before Carlos asked, "Then why did you call?"     "I… wanted to call and say that…" She paused again.  "We're… planning dinner."     "You're… planning dinner?"  He sounded even more confused.  "You guys?"     At that point, Dylan looked up from his comic, staring in surprise at the android.  What in the world was she doing…?

    "Yeah," she lied.  "We were wondering what you wanted for dinner.  We were… thinking about some sort of beef noodle dish?"     There was a long, loaded pause.     "You called me to tell me that?  Really."     "Yeah…"  The girl nervously laughed.  "S-silly, I know, but–"     "Beef and pasta sounds alright."     Hope calmly breathed as she listened to Carlos answer.  Her lie had worked.     "Maybe stroganoff of some kind…" he suggested.  "Eliza, what do you– yeah, she says that sounds good."     "Perfect," she replied.     "Alright then."  Another pause.  "Do you guys need anything?  We're at the store…"     "No, no, we have the ingredients here."     She was lying again, but to the best of her knowledge, they did actually have the ingredients for a "family-sized" portion of stroganoff.     "Alright.  We'll be home after a while.  Eliza wants to watch that new action movie…"     "Take your time…"     Hope flinched.  She had no idea why she said that.     "L-love you!" she called.     "You, too."     With that, the call ended.

    "What.  Was that."

    Dylan set his comic down and walked back over to Hope with a look of genuine concern.     "You were s'posed to tell Los what I did to you," he exclaimed, "but you just… choked!  What's the deal, Hope?  Lose your nerve or somethin'?"     "I… don't know!" Hope exclaimed.     "Well, that makes two of us."     As Dylan laughed, Hope put her phone back into her pocket.  She looked beside herself with confusion and maybe a little disappointment.  It took her several seconds before she could look that cat in the face, again.

    "Answers."     "What?"     Dylan flinched.  Hope had grabbed him by the collar and gotten in his face.     "I need answers!" she firmly demanded.     "Answers to what?" he responded, his face and tone turning cold.     "Why were you letting me do that?!  Aren't you scared he'd… he'd…"     "Kill me?"     "Maybe?!"     Dylan's face softened and he chuckled again.  "Maybe I deserve it…"     "You…" Hope paused.  "You don't deserve to die… May– maybe get a little beat up…"     "You have a soft spot for me.  I knew it."     "No?!"     She shoved him away, shaking her head and looking frustrated, much to his amusement.     "I just…"  She sighed.  "I just don't see the point in you dying when, instead, you could be incarcerated and made to serve a sentence for your crime!  That's– that's all…"     "'Let the punishment fit the crime'?" he asked.     She rubbed her arm, looking away.  "I… I guess…"  She had no idea.     "So…"  Dylan smirked.  "How 'bout you rape me?"     Hope's eyes widened and she looked back at the cat.  He was smiling.     "What?"  He grinned.  "'Let the punishment fit the crime', Blue…"     As he shrugged and chuckled, Hope found herself at a loss.  She didn't know what to make of him.  She was just confused… definitely a little angry…  But most importantly?     "I want to know why you're doing this."     "Why I'm doing what?" he asked the flustered android.     "Why you're playing this off like it's some big joke!"     He snapped his fingers at her, winking.     "That's just how I am, Blue."     And that was all she could stand…

    Tears formed in Hope's eyes as she stared at the smiling cat.  He was always frustrating… always picking on her when their friends were around… and always putting her down when they were away…  He'd openly confessed to assaulting her… physically and sexually!  He even encouraged her to report him to her boyfriend and the police!  Even with potential death and incarceration hanging over his head… he just acted like nothing out of the ordinary was happening.  She wanted to punch him… and wanted to cry.  More than anything, though?

    "I just want answers…"

    "'Answers'?"     Dylan tossed his head from side to side a couple of times, popping his neck.     "I can't give you answers–"     "Why not?!" Hope shouted, tears breaking free.     "– unless you ask me questions…" he finished.     "O-oh…"     The girl tried to calm down.  She rubbed her face with one arm, getting synthetic tears onto her gray undershirt, then she looked back up.  She needed a minute to think…

    "Okay…"     "Okay?" the cat answered, tilting his head.     "Okay…" she repeated.  "Okay.  My first question is…"     She looked into his eyes.     "Are you sorry?"     That question caught Dylan off guard.     "What?" he asked in surprise.     "Are you sorry?" she adamantly repeated.     "'Am I sorry?'" he echoed.     "Yeah."  She paused before adding: "Are you sorry for what you did to me?"     "No."     She should have expected that level of bluntness… but it still made her flinch.     "Wh… why not?" was her next question.     The cat smiled, scratching his cheek.  "I dunno…"     "Are you serious…?"     He shrugged and grinned.  "I dunno."     "Dylan!!"  Hope got in his face again.  "This isn't a joke!  I'm being serious!!"     He frowned.  "Too close," he said in a low tone.     "I want to know if you're sorry for what you did to me!  Yes… or no!"     "I said…"  He frowned.  "You're too close."     "YES!  Or.  NO!"     "What part of–"     "Answer my question!!"

    Hope's eyes widened again.  It happened in a flash…  The instant she had finished roaring at him… Dylan grabbed her arms and threw her against the door, pinning her there by the wrist.  He glared into her eyes, his nose pressed against hers.  She could see his tail flicking back and forth in her peripheral vision, too…  He was not happy.

    "You wanna know why I'm not sorry I raped you?" Dylan asked, his calm voice mismatching his angry face.     "Y… yes!" Hope shouted despite her fear.  "Why aren't you sorry?!  Don't you–"     "I'm not sorry…" he snapped, "because… because…"     The anger faded from his face… and he let her go, taking a step back.     "I don't know," he finally answered.  "I really don't know, okay?  I'm just not sorry."     Hope's stared at him as she rubbed her wrists.     "What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.  "You got somethin' to say?"     "This… is going to change things…" she whispered, sounding worried.     "How so?"     The girl frowned.  "How can I trust you… knowing you forced yourself on me?"     "'How can you trust me?'" he echoed.     "Yes…"  She softly nodded.  "You froze my joints and had your way with me against my wishes.  What's stopping you from doing it again?"     The cat paused… chuckled… then shook his head before looking down.     "Would you believe me if I said…"     He looked back up, wearing a soft smile.     "It's because I respect you too much?"     "You… 'respect me'?" She scowled.  "You don't molest people you respect…"     "Without their permission, you mean."     Her face flinched.  She was blushing in her head…     "Y-yeah," she answered honestly.  "You don't molest people you respect without their consent.  That's not just the law…  That's… that's, um…"     "All a part of respecting someone?"     She nodded again.  "Respect should go both ways in any kind of relationship, though!"     "Do you respect no?"     "I…"  She paused.  "N-no.  No, I don't."     "Fair 'nuff."  The cat chuckled.  "I don't respect me, either!"     "And that's why!"     Hope sighed, putting her arms behind her back as she leaned against the closed door.     "Everything's just… one big joke to you!  You always tease Carlos until he hits you, you always joke around with Ms. Armstrong, and most of the time, you either treat me like I'm less than a person… or you treat me like I'm a household appliance!  It's infuriating…!  And…"     She looked away, hugging herself.     "And… I sometimes wonder if you're right to treat me like that…"

[folatefangirl]

Book Reviews: More Than Enough

I technically finished More Than Enough by Elizabeth Wambheim earlier this week, but it’s high time to cross-post the non-spoilery and edited version of this review from goodreads since there’s not much overlap between that site and the people I know from booklr.

Wow, this was really good, I mean, my favorite book of 2018 so far, considering that I picked it up on a whim and didn't know anything about the content except that it was a Beauty and the Beast retelling. I didn't plan to fall so hard for this cute book, but here I am and much happier for it. If I were really nitpicking, I'd give it a 4.5 for miscellaneous formatting stuff etc., but dammit, I rate things on how much I enjoyed reading them and a few little things here and there didn't take away from how much I enjoyed More Than Enough. I liked it so much that I think I might just need to invest in a paperback version that I'll happily foist on loan to people.

Also note that this book has some dark content per sexual assault of the unwanted touching variety, but IMHO it handles it really, really, well.

Stuff I Liked:

- Oh wow, this book is just so casual about LGBT+/queer rep, especially asexual characters and I love it. There's no homophobia or coming out anxiety per se; it's just about love and people living their lives happily together. Though I should probably mention (in case the language around it is potentially triggery to people) that the protagonists in this book had to deal with acephobia, but that was largely in the past and not in the time when the story takes place. Aka it's usually either mentioned in dialogue that intended to discuss the past or flashbacks integrated into the story.

- Sir Eckhart. Just Sir Eckhart. I loved her from the beginning. An actual Lady Knight (cue the pterodactyl noises) and I mean:

Some would add, with needless cruelty, that the prince went unmourned, but those who claimed so had never, Petra knew, met Sir Eckhart.

- Petra is such a sweetheart who I couldn't help but falling for and I was so proud of his character development by the end.

- I also thought Fier was very endearing and all sorts of relatable and I enjoyed following his character arc all the way through to the end, no matter how many tissues it cost me.

- Did I mention that this book is like a love note to plants, especially flowers? I really loved that part of it and it's evident that a lot of worldbuilding research went into that.

- Also this book may make you cry. But, like, in a wholesome, healing way. Happy tears. *flails hands*

- I really liked the lyrical/descriptive way this book was written. Examples, with numbers relative to the 234-page Kindle edition:

pg 69:

Some people had eyes that chased you, pinned you, flattened you; these, though were eyes you tripped into.

pg 98:

You could tame fire, keep it docile in hearth or candle, but there was no taming lightning. The wild, ragged forks of it; the blinding cracks in the sky—that was the stuff of dragons.

pg 150:

People at night were like stars: bright but distant, self-contained.

The nitpicking stuff:

(but didn't ultimately cost the book a star IMHO)

- There's quite a few fragments/bending of grammar rules of this variety, largely for style, but it was never really enough to throw me out of reading it for very long. After I got used to the style, I barely noticed it because I enjoyed the content so much. However, other people might take more issue with it than I did.

- Even though this book limited itself to a single town, I kinda wished we'd learned more about Fier's family and their kingdom, especially because Eckhart and Fier were more than a wee bit critical of them in the beginning. Anyway, it just felt like the worldbuilding of the town and townsfolk were so detailed that the absence of that detail per the rest of the kingdom was rather noticeable.

- I had the Kindle edition, so I can't attest to the print edition (yet), but every once in a while there seems to be odd spacing glitches in the middle of paragraphs or between chapters or, more rarely, between words.

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this and would recommend it to anyone who wants a fairly quick, cute, romantic fairy tale retelling, especially if they wanna read about asexual main characters (with other LGBT+ rep in the background).

P.S. It’s free on Amazon through February 16th, 2018, but otherwise it’s normally priced at $0.99 for the Kindle edition and $10 for the paperback.

[nightowlfandom]

Ayato Sakamaki- My Only Human

HEY HEY!!

ANON ASKS

Can I make a request from your x -rated prompts. 36, 40, 57 , With Ayato Sakamaki. >.< if you can.

Idea: Maybe the reader, catches a student at the night school flirting and touching him, but when she thought he would shove her off, he doesn't. She gets super mad at him and doesnt talk to him the rest of the day until he comes in her room after school demanding to the what the readers problem is, and it leads to some rough sexy time??

If you cant thats fine >.<

If YoU CaN’t ThAt’s FiNe, PSSSSHH I GOT THIS 

36- That’s it, grab my hair. Yank it, pull me back into your pussy.

40- How do you ride me so good? God damn, you’re gonna break me!

57- Fuck! You’re mine. You’re fucking mine and I’m fucking yours.

CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!!

Leggo!!

...

“Yui, question.” you walked through the halls with your favorite adoptive-cousin. 

“Y/N, Answer!” she giggled in reply. “What’s up?”

“I needed help! Me and this math thing is not a thing.” you glared down at your folder.

“18, 42, 6.9 and X=17.” she instantly filled in the blanks to the questions you hadn’t answered.

“Have I ever told you I loved you?” you faked crying.

“Only always.” she shrugged. “I see the boys beat us here.” she mused, noticing the Sakamaki AND the Mukami brothers in the respective groups by the lockers, right across from each-other.

“Always beating us here, but never offering to drop us off...assholes.”

“Aren’t you the one insisting on Ayato and you arriving at different times?” she raised a brow as you two slowed down in pace.

“I told it it would be better if I arrived a little bit after him after his gaggling fans dispersed.” you half-shrugged. “The last thing I need are his fangirls trying me.” you rolled your eyes.

“Like that girl flirting with Ayato?”

“Exactly...Wait WHAT?” 

Yui pointed in the direction of the Sakamaki brothers. A girl was standing in front of him. Holding her books to her chest with one hand while twirling strands of her hair in another. 

“Julia.” you growled. “She always does this!” you motioned to how ridiculous it was that she always flirted with one of the Sakamaki brothers. Especially the one that was TAKEN!

“Ayato won’t let her even touch him!” Yui tried to console you. 

“You know what, you’re right.” you smiled a little. Everyone knew you two were an item. She wouldn’t dare.

“He loves you and he wouldn’t let her-”

You two watched as Ayato put on a flirtatious smile, crossing his arms in amusement as he leaned against the lockers.

“Maybe he won’t even entertain-”

Julia trailed a finger up his arm, laughing like a hyena.

“Maybe he’ll embarrass her?”

You watched as he took her hand, raised it to his mouth and gave her knuckles a short peck.

“Maybe-”

“Yui I love you, but I’ma need you to stop talking.” your voice kinda cracked. 

You had transferred from day school to night school for him. You had transferred SCHOOLS for him. You dealt with the burden of having to take care of a human girl who was allergic to her own skin (you loved Yui to bits, but damnit if she didn’t get you into trouble all the time) on some days along with dealing with a bunch of perverted, self-important, assholes for him...so why..WHY was he responding to Julia....like he was single.

“I’m going class.” you grumbled. “See you later.”

“Y/N WAIT!” 

...(Meanwhile)

Ayato needed to pass his English Lit. Class project, so of course when that Julia girl offered to type his report for him, he couldn’t say no. He had to pretend he wasn’t disgusted by her if he was going to remain in the top 5% of people with an actual brain. Fuck being like the other students.

“Y/N WAIT!” 

“That sounded like Yui.” Reiji commented. They were surprised to see you bolted down the hallway at full speed with Yui on your tail. She skid to a stop to glare at Ayato.

“You’ve really done it this time.” was all she said before she ran off. “Y/N!! COME BACK!”

“Smooth move, moron.” Yuma called from the other side. “Looks like I get to play knight in shining armor.” he winked.

“Ayato~” Julia got his attention, “make sure to meet me in the library so I can give you your essay.”

“Yeah, sure whatever.” Ayato watched at Yui chased you down the hall.

... (Lunchtime/Free Period)

You sat in the courtyard, sadly staring at a sketchbook page You liked to paint or draw school life in the quad. You had started with a sketch of the Sakamaki brothers, but it didn’t feel right.

You’d probably get in trouble, but you just had to draw Yuma Mukami who was sitting by the fountain. You looked up every so often, hoping he didn’t see you. 

“Y/N!” You heard. You turned your head to the side to see Ayato sitting with his brothers. “COME OVER HERE.”

Wordlessly, you grabbed your sketchbook...only to walk to the other side of the quad. You sat at another table, focusing back on your artwork.

“Hey...”A shadow was cast over your work.

“Do you mind?” you grumbled. “You’re blocking my light source.”

“Hm, I was just thinking you’d wanna see the reference up close.”

Your head darted up to see Yuma, standing in front of you. “May I sit.”

“Do whatever you want.” you grumbled. “I don’t care.”

Ayato watched from the other side of the court yard as that smug playful bastard took your sketchbook from in front of you and began flipping through it. Why hadn’t you sat with him today?? That Mukami dickwad had better not touch you.

He watched as Yuma flirted with you, and thankfully you didn’t seem to fall for his charms. Though that half smile you gave when he gave you a flower that had been growing nearby was enough to make him angry. 

“AYATOOOO~” Julia practically threw herself into the spot where you usually sat when you sat with him. “I finished your report!”

“Great. Sure, whatever.” he glared potholes at Yuma.

“So...do you wanna eat lunch together?”

“That’s nice, Maria.”

“It’s Julia...”

“Sure whatever.”

(Meanwhile)

“There’s that smile.” he winked as you looked at the flower. 

“Thanks, I guess.”

“Also, next time you draw me...let’s have it be a nude painting huh?” He winked, getting up.

“Gross.” you scoffed, standing up yourself. “See you in Biology.” you cringed.

“Y/N!” you heard Ayato’s voice call again. Just ignore him...(Read more below the break)

... (Smut warning)

When you got home, you locked yourself in your room. You had told Yui to not bother trying to make you feel better, because it wouldn’t work. You had just finished your homework when-

“Y/N! LET ME IN!” Ayato angrily knocked at the door. When he didn’t hear anything back, he decided that the window would have to suffice. “FINE! YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.”

“Oh shit!” you began to run towards the window, hoping to shut it when Ayato practically appeared out of nowhere with a frown on his face.

“Why have you been ignoring me?” he glowered. When you didn’t answer, he grew more agitated. “Y/N, Don’t make me ask again.” Still nothing. “Y/N, You have three seconds to tell me-”

“Why don’t you ask Julia!” you finally snapped. “You sure seem to like flirting with HER.”

“What? I’d never flirt with that disgusting-”

“SO KISSING HER HAND THIS MORNING WASN’T FLIRTING! Yui and I saw you! She touched your arm and you didn’t even move!” you accused. 

“Y/N, let me explain!”

“YOU DON’T NEED TO! You don’t love me anymore!” you pointed. “So go be with her! Go flirt with her! Go and spend time with her because that all you seemed to be interested in doing today!”

Ayato gasped, he finally realized what Yui had been talking about when she said ‘You really done it this time.’ He hadn’t even realized it, but he had been busy with Julia all day that by the time he got free time. He thought-

“You gonna let me talk now, Human?” he used the pet-name he coined for you. “I don’t love Julia. And I wasn’t flirting with her because I don’t love you.”

“Huh?”

“She was doing my English Lit. paper and I had to make her think she was worth my time.” he explained. “She had to think I was actually interested in her or else she’d make a scene. She knew what this exchange was. A litle bit of attention and that A+ was as good as mine. I passed by the way.” he winked.

“S-so, you don’t love her?” you wiped your eyes.

“Of course not! How many times have I told you that my heart only belongs to you?” He asked. “Idiot.” he shook his head with an amused smile. “As if that plain, lowly human could ever compare to my own personal descendant of the goddeses that made this wicked world.” he bit his lip. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I was running out of time. I would have told you, had you sat with me at lunch today.” he rolled his eyes. “...Y/N, please accept my deepest apology. I wouldn’t hurt you...unless you asked.” he wiggled his eyebrows at the last part. “Now come here.”

He grabbed your waist and pulled you towards him, taking you in a long drawn out kiss. He purposefully moaned in your mouth, laughing maniacally through each peck.

“Me, and that disgusting excuse- how laughable.” he began kissing down your neck. “I guess I’ll have to show you that you’re mine and will only ever be mine.” 

“Ayato~” you whimpered. 

“Shush.” he kissed you again. “ Fuck! “ he kept kissing your lips “You’re mine. You’re fucking mine and I’m fucking yours. .” He backed you up towards the bed. “Usually I’d ask you to suck my dick first, but I want everything to be about you.” he made you sit down. “Aww, you didn’t take off your uniform, so I can take your panties off right now.” he smirked.

Had he lost his mind?!?

“Have you lost your mind?!?” your legs shook as your panties were discarded who knew where. 

“I’ve always wanted to defile you while you were wearing it, so you can think of me every single time you put it on. Mmmmff-” he buried his head between your legs, exploring your depths with his tongue.

You took in a sharp breath, instantly arching your back in his favor. Good, that was his invitation to go forward. “Y/N, you taste so fucking good-” he laughed gleefully. “I wanna bite your clit and taste the blood right from your naughty place.” he moaned, lashing his tongue against your heat. 

“Ayato, It feels so-” you mewled. “M-more, please?”

Hearing this, he went feral. He dug his nails into your thighs, sucking harshly at your slit. You had to hold the back of his head to stay vertical, your hands tangled through his lush hair.

“ That’s it, grab my hair. Yank it, pull me back into your pussy-mmm. “ he couldn’t even finish his sentence. He was so hungry that not even a snide comment could leave his lips while he tasted you. He’d never do this with anyone else, love anyone else. He was having too much fun worshipping his beautiful human. 

“Ayato- I’m gonna c-cu-”

“Cum. Let me taste you. Let me feel it against me, let me drive my fangs into your thighs while you cum so you can feel what true ecstasy feels like.” 

You felt yourself unravel, only to feel those fangs dig into your left thigh. “Ungh! Ayato!!” you cried. 

“Fuck, Y/N.” he lapped up your blood. “It tastes even better when you’re cumming.” he bit his lip. “I wanna feel you wrap around me.” he crawled over you, capturing your mouth in a long, messy kiss.

You were surprised when he moved you two so you were straddling him. “Undo my jeans, take what’s yours, Y/N.” he bit his lips. 

You shyly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled then down along with his boxers. You were welcomed by a very obvious hardon. 

His cock slapped against his stomach as it was set free. 

“C-can I, touch?”

“It’s yours.” he winked. “Do whatever you want to me.”

You began stroking him, coaxing a low satisfied moan from your lover. You wanted to be mean and leave him but who were you kidding, you both needed it.

“Is it too forward to ask you to ride my cock?” he asked, biting his lip. “Please?”

He caressed your thighs, coaxing you to slip his dick along the perimeter of your slit. You met his eyes, but could only shyly look away.

“Oh Goooodd-” he sucked in air as his dick slipped inside. You shy rocked your hips, coaxing another moan out of him. His hands rested on your thighs. “Shit, Y/N, Why are you so fucking- Ungh...Shit I can’t take much more.” he thrusted his hips upwards. 

A small gasp hitched in your throat, followed by many as he thrust himself in and out of you. You wanted some sort of control too, so you rolled your hips even more against him. “Shit. Ayato~” you moaned. “Fuuuh-”

“Why would I want anyone else when you’re here with me.” he spoke. “Why would I NEED anyone else!” he growled. “You’re mine! I’m Yours, that’s how to fuck it should be!” he seethed. “Fuck your pussy feels so good.”

He was absolutely right, you didn’t think even washing this uniform would get his essence out of it.

“Shit!!” Ayato threw his head back, moaning like you had never seen him moan before. You didn’t even think he could even make such a face. “Y/N!!! “ he cried. “I fucking love you so much, Fuck, S-shit!! Fuck say it back, please.”

“Ayato,” you felt his cock twitch inside. “I love you-haah-aah!”

“ How do you ride me so good? God damn, you’re gonna break me! “ he cried, digging his nails into your thighs. “Fuck Y/N this is what you to do me!!”

You both were loud, sensitive, and on the brinK of breaking.

“I’m gonna CU---AAAHH FUUCCK!” you felt his warmth spill inside you. You were taken aback by him wrapped a hand around your neck and pulling you down to kiss you abruptly. He moaned loudly into your mouth, crying in euphoria as he bottomed out inside your wetness.

“Y/N!” he cried once more. “Fuck I love you.” his face twisted in pleasure, those usually stern eyebrows going soft. “I fucking love you. My human, My only human~.” he hugged you close.

“Ayato~” you replied just as wantonly. “I love you.” you whimpered.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook for ignoring me today, now it’s my turn to get revenge.” you heard his breathless laugh. “Shall we continue?”

(I.....AM SO SORRY FOR THIS)

[starshipsofstarlord]

Bucky Finding Out That You Faked an Orgasm...

Warnings | smut, hurt feelings

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Well let’s just say, it was your mistake to speak about your sex life in the common room with Nat. Being a trained avenger, usually well around of your surroundings, you should have known better

It didn’t bother the Black Widow, she had nothing to hide, she just wanted a glass of wine and a bedroom talk with her friend

Bucky would be walking around the corner, about to surprise you, after FRIDAY telling him where you were; he had arrived home early after a mission

As he hears your voice, he smiles to himself, more so when he hears that you are speaking about him. It really makes him love you that little bit more, and appreciate everything you do for him

Though as he listens more, he really gets how much you do for his own sake

“You got anything your hiding from lover boy Barnes?” Natasha’s question makes him shake his head, because you tell each other everything

But the pause that comes before your response makes him nervous, fiddling with his vibranium fingers as he hears you take in a deep sigh

He shouldn’t be doing this, violating your privacy, but in his defence, you are in a very public area of the compound, if he wasn’t standing here then someone else like Scott would be. The only difference is, he’d be vigilant, using his suit that made him the size of a tic tac

“Well....” that didn’t sound good, as you elongated the syllable, and Bucky cranes his neck around the corner subtly to watch you take a swig out of your glass

“Come on y/l/n.” Yes, come on y/n, he thinks, his mind thinking just like Nat’s. The only difference is that he doesn’t voice it

“The other day, when I got back from my mission in Vienna, I was just so tired, and Buck wanted to have sex.”

He recalled that, watching you drop your avenging suit before him as you climbed into the bed with him, in nothing more than your underwear. He couldn’t resist, and it ended in a good time for the both of you...

“And?”

“I faked cumming, so I could go to sleep.”

His eyes went wide, and he stepped back, audibly walking away as the sound worried you

Glancing round the corner, you saw his back walking away, and it sent you into panic mode. Obviously he heard, and in that moment you couldn’t feel more guilty.

“Nat I’ve got to go.” She understood, as you headed back to your shared room with the super soldier, and when you entered, you found him sat in bed, a book in his hand.

His jaw was tense, putting you on edge

You tried to speak to him, though it seemed that the man was insistent on not speaking to you

He was giving you the silent treatment

“Fine.” You sat the other side of the bed, tugging at the book, well aware of how childish the pair of you must have looked fighting over a book

The item ended up ripped in half, and Bucky quirked a stern and unimpressed eyebrow towards you

“Couldn’t you have let me finish?” He jabbed at you, sighing loudly, as he turned to you, awaiting for you to get whatever apology you had thought of out

“I’m sorry.” Of course you were, he could read the sadness and guilt that was resonating behind your eyes.

As he grunted, the man crossed his arms, lightly scratching the scruff on his chin

You couldn’t help but ask, “why are you so bothered about it?” Because he seemed more bothered about this than by any of your previous fights.

“Back in my day, it never used to matter if a woman didn’t cum, it was all for the man’s pleasure. I don’t wanna feel like I’m stuck in that life”

Now you understood, and thus, you began stroking down his closest arm, which so happened to be the vibrating prosthetic

“Well then, how about we erase memories from that time we had sex. And make new ones?” He was wary

“You promise you’re not going to fake it?”

Of course you werent

Overstimulation, that’s all imma say

And so you can expect that he was going to town on you, eating your pussy out until you came in his mouth like five times

Using his fingers until your pussy is ThrObbInG

And he for sure knows that none of them are fakes, as he watches your wetness drip down the lips of your pussy and soak your bedsheets

First when he gets his cock out, hed take you from behind as he pounds your pussy, wrapping his hand through your hair

He’d definitely make remarks about you faking an orgasm and lying to him, giving your ass sudden spanks as he rams in and out of you, leaving it nice and red for his eyes to roam

Probably choke you a little too as he pulls your body up against him,pinching your breasts as he mutters words against the junction of your neck and shoulder

Biting down on your shoulder, because he wants you to have marks after this to remember the consequences of your little stunt

Before he’s about to cum, he would pull out, making you whine, as he picks you up like a rag doll, pinning you against the wall as he roughly fucks you against it

You’d claw at his back as your head repeatedly hits against the wall, making you slightly dizzy

This would last for hours, in between, he’d go back to eating you out, shoving his tongue into your well fucked entrance.

Eventually you’d pass out, and when you woke up, you’d find yourself clothed in one of his shirts, as he is sat in bed next to you, another goddamn book in his hand

“Oh, you’re awake.” He’d nonchalantly review, his eyes still on the pages as he flips through its contents. “Why don’t you finger fuck yourself for me, so I know that you weren’t faking it with me earlier?”

You’d about die then and there, as you’re still feeling rather sore. But you have a safe word for a reason, though, you want to prove to him that you’re willing to do make it up to him anyway

And so you spread your legs, pulling apart the lips of your swollen pussy as you locate your entrance and slip a finger inside, whimpering as you stared at your boyfriend, as he shuffles about to kneel before you

His dick is hard but he pays no mind to it, as he reaches past your hand and slaps your slit, emitting sounds of pain and pleasure from you

“Tired?” He’d tease, and you’d nod as your covering your hand with your juices, tears running down your face.

“Good, you’re gonna keep going until you can’t keep those pretty eyes open again doll”

Let’s just say you didn’t last too long until that happened, and from it, you had learnt that you were going to fake another orgasm again

You had another mission the next day.

As you sat on the quinjet, Bucky smugly stared at you from across the harbour, watching as you shuffled uncomfortably, feeling every ounce of soreness as you tried to remain as vigilant for the reason for your pain as possible

“Oi, you alright y/n?” Clint’d ask you, as you hummed an okay out. Though Bucky would not let that suffice as the only answer

“Don’t lie y/n.” He tutted with a smirk behind the archer’s back. “She didn’t get much rest last night, I think you spent too much time talking with Nat.”

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Love the nsfw headcanon of those couples. Can you share sfw headcanon with us too?

I've done encanto headcanons period;

But we can do some couple exclusives! Let's go!

Félix and Pepa!!;

Félix is always looking for romantic stories for Pepa to read. She especially loves the ones that are kinda sad or angsty. He sometimes sits next to her as she reads it, to help her through the inevitable tears. He has an umbrella ready, so she doesn't ruin her book.

Pepa can't fucking cook. Honestly I'd trust Antonio more in the kitchen than her. Thankfully, she married a man who LOVES cooking. If he's cooking, it's what Pepa wants to eat.

They cuddle naked a lot. It doesn't always lead to sex, surprisingly, they're just that comfortable with each other.

Date nights ALWAYS involve dancing. His wife loves to move, and lowkey, she loves looking at his butt as he dances. Seriously, they tear up the floor, and it's not considered a REAL party if they aren't there.

Félix purposely hums songs that are total brain worms. Pepa HATES it because now it's ALL she hears. She says she doesn't wanna talk to him for the rest of the day.

This lasts for five minutes. Seriously, they're barely apart. She makes ANY excuse to be with him, even if it means yelling at him for some random thing he did. Not that he minds.

Pepa has such selective hearing. It's easy for her to jump to conclusions and he has to remind her that no, SHE'S not stupid, her choices are. Like washing his whites with Dolores's headbands.

Pepa isn't exactly. Wife material. At least, not in the conventional sense. She can't cook, can't clean, she hates doing most chores. But she's caring, and does enough with her babies to be, in Félix's opinion, the most wonderful mother.

They have different parenting styles, so they clash sometimes. Pepa thinks it's cute that Camilo got into the candy jar, Félix thinks Pepa is too worried about Antonio liking animals over people.

Augustín and Julieta!!;

Félix's family approved of Pepa IMMEDIATELY. Not just because she's a Madrigal, but the idea of their son marrying essentially a weather goddess? Félix's mom, a well known farmer, is SO proud, and she spoils her grandkids ROTTEN (she calls them all her little clouds, and lowkey her favorite is Antonio. Such a sweet, sweet boy).

Pepa snores like a fucking chainsaw. The first time Félix slept with her, he damn near jumped out of bed because it was so loud and ABRUPT. He thought she snuck a whole ass man into bed with them.

Pepa insists she doesn't snore, even if literally everyone, Alma included, can attest to this.

This trait has transferred to Camilo. First time Félix heard it, he immediately said 'oh fuck there's TWO OF THEM-'

Augustín had more of a hand raising his daughters, technically. Julieta had her fair share, don't get me wrong, but being the healer of a whole town? It sorta forced Augustín to be a stay at home dad. Not that he minded, he LOVES his beautiful, caring, wonderful daughters. Suffice to say, they're all daddy's girls.

They spend a GOOD chunk of time away from each other. They both hate it, but when they meet up at the end of the day, they pamper each other. LOTS of hand holding and massages.

Date nights are usually easy things. Snacks, a nice bottle of wine, candles. He's EXTRA careful with the candles (Mirabel almost caught those decorations on fire-gets that shit from Augustín). It's very sweet, and Isa even sets up the table full of flowers for them.

On the very rare occasions, they go dancing. It's been a while, but Julieta used to love singing and dancing. It always ends with one of them falling for each other. Literally.

Augustín tries so hard to show he loves her. Granted, many attempts end with him getting hurt, just because that's him, but she sees it, and loves him for it.

They hardly argue, but when they do, it's mainly from her constantly worrying. She fusses when the kids get scratches-when she learned, later into their marriage, that Augustín occasionally smokes, it REALLY threw her for a loop.

Augustín and Abuela aren't crazy for each other. Unlike Félix, Augustín wasn't exactly charming enough to immediately win her daughter's hand. They also bicker a lot, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Mirabel. Usually Augustín loves to turn the other cheek, but when he sees Mirabel crying over something she heard Abuela said, Julieta has to interrupt, and rather quickly.

Augustín's parents -ADORED her. They call her Jules, and they always gift her fancy sweets from outside the Encanto. They also love their grand babies to tears, and secretly Mirabel is their favorite.

Augustín and Abuela also argue who makes the best hot chocolate. Julieta hates being the one to choose.

Julieta rubs his ears to help him sleep. She's so gentle, so caring, he just melts into it.

Julieta loves that Augustín and Pepa actually get along GREAT. They're both sort of loud people, and they both love Julieta. Julieta gets along with Félix pretty damn well too- they tend to double date here and there, and Bruno doesn't mind watching the kids while they go out.

Julieta has issues sleeping, while her sister crashes pretty easily. Augustín tries to stay up with her to help comfort her, but suffice to say, he passes out pretty soon into a good cuddle.

It makes Augustín happy when she's deep in sleep, often with Alma singing her a song (seriously her voice is so smooth, she could put the coffee kid to sleep). Even if Julieta kicks him a LOT in her sleep. Seriously, they almost feel personal-

[mindofharry]

Forever | Chapter two

Harry is a gang leader — but he’s also a single dad. What does he need? A nanny. His 4 year old daughter, Harlow, is the only thing he cares about. The gang doesn’t even come close to his love for his baby girl. But when he meets Pyper Yara, his life flips upside down. And for the better.

Harry Styles x OC | masterlist | WARNINGS: guns and violence mentioned!

✧ ✧ ✧

“Can we watch Frozen now?”

Harlow asked and Pyper nodded, “Wanna know a fun fact?” Pyper asked and Harlow nodded excitedly.

“Elsa is based on the snow queen, it’s a book by Hans Christian Andersen.” Pyper said putting away the toys.

Harlow stayed silent, “Maybe we can read that?” Harlow asked, expecting a no. But Pyper grinned going to her bag and pulling out her own copy of the snow queen. Her grandmother used to mind her and they would read fairy tales together — the one Pyper liked most was the snow queen. Even now she likes to read it sometimes. She’s happy she gets to pass it down to someone else.

“Why are you out of breath?” Harlow asked and Pyper tutted. “I am not!” She said and Harlow giggled.

“Are too!” Harlow cackled and Pyper just shook her head opening up the book.

“Are too!” Harlow cackled and Pyper just shook her head opening up the book.

Pyper read the book, for thirty minutes and saw that Harlow was getting tired so she closed the book and placed her on the couch where she dozed off immediately. This is the time she would usually make lunch, she really loves this time. Pyper loves cooking and baking, so this part of the job is extra enjoyable for her.

“Smells good.” A voice said, Pyper looked behind her and saw Mr Styles leaning against the kitchen door.

Pyper had been working for him for two weeks now and this is the first time she’s seen him in those two weeks.

Pyper isn’t one to judge, but a simple hello or goodbye would suffice.

“Thanks. My grandmothers recipe.” Pyper said. “Wanna know a fun fact?” She asked and Harry blinked walking towards the kitchen island. He’s enamoured by her. Her beauty, her knowledge and how good she is with Harlow. That could all change when she learns about Harry’s profession though. Pyper doesn’t seem like she’s into that sort of thing.

“Sure, I guess.” Harry said leaning against the counter.

“Bowing was invented, so that the claps of people don’t hit you and make your ego big. So when you would bow, the claps would go over your head.” Pyper said, as she emptied the sauce into a bowl.

Harry opened his mouth and then closed it again, not knowing how to respond.

“I mean, cool? I think?”

Pyper giggled and stirred the sauce, “You’re very odd, Mr Styles.”

Harry’s cock twitched in his pants and he cleared his throat, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“You know, I like you.” Harry said and Pyper grinned at him.

“Well, if I knew you a little better I would say I liked you too.” Pyper replied and Harry laughed. Pyper wanted to make him laugh all the time. His dimple is exactly like Harlow’s.

“Maybe we should get to know each other then…” Harry said with a smirk, Pyper blushed and bit her lip.

“Daddy?” Harlow said in her sleeping voice. Harry’s whole demeanour changed and he picked up his girl. Pyper could tell he loved Harlow with everything he had. Niall had told Pyper about what happened with Harlow’s mum and with the amount of work Harry does all she can feel is the upmost respect for him.

“Hello, my baby love.” Harry said placing a kiss on her head, as Harlow cuddled into him.

“Missed you, daddy.” Harlow said and Harry sighed, rocking her.

“Missed you more.”

Pyper smiled at the two and placed down three bowls of her grandmothers meal.

“Yay! I love this!” Harlow squealed, wiggling down and getting into her chair.

“I’m eating with you guys?”

“Yes, no arguments!” Pyper said and Harlow nodded a mouth full food.

“Yeah! No arguments.” Harlow mimicked, Harry smiled and sat down in front of Pyper.

“Hey, why isn’t Harlow in pre school?” Pyper asked.

“I’m planning to home school her for a bit until I get a better plan of the future. I’ve got a lot of enemies.” Harry said, not lying one bit. Pyper narrowed her eyes and nodded.

“Well, I’m happy to stay here as long as you need me. I love it here and I love Harlow.”

“What about me?”

Pyper tilted her head, “What about you?”

“Do you love me? Like me even?”

Pyper nearly choked on her food.

“Mr Styles—“

“Harry.”

“Harry, sorry. I know absolutely nothing about you.” Pyper said with an apologetic look. “But you like my grandmothers food, so I guess that’s a start.” Pyper added, Harry smiled.

He is going to win her over one way or another.

It was the end of the day now, Harlow was showered and ready for bed. They had read a little more of The Snow queen, before Harlow passed out.

Pyper went to her room, that was bigger than her apartment. She still had a few things to do, but for the most part it was starting to feel and look like home.

A knock on her door startled her, she went over and pulled the door open.

Harry Styles was at her bedroom door.

“Wanna get to know each other now?” He asked holding up two beers.

Pyper smiled and nodded, “That would be nice, Harry.”

They sat on her bed and opened up the beers, getting comfortable.

“I don’t know why, but I feel like I could spill all my secrets to you.” Pyper said and Harry chuckled.

“Is that such a bad thing?”

“I don’t know yet.” Pyper said and leaned against a pillow.

“I’ll start. My name is Harry. I have a daughter. I run a gang—“

Pyper choked on her beer, “Hold the fuck up. Gang? Harry, that’s a good joke.” She giggled and Harry sat there with a straight face.

“I’m not joking, Pyper.”

“Fuck off, Harry. I’m not an idiot.”

“I’m not joking! I literally run a gang! Did Niall not tell you why he was rarely home?” Harry asked and Pyper pursed her lips.

“I mean, he would come home in bruises sometimes. I always had an inkling, but he’s such a good guy! I could never see him in that sort of business!” Pyper said, talking animatedly, her hands moving around as she spoke.

“Well he is. And I run it. I just thought I should tell you, now. Better now, than later.” Harry shrugged sipping his beer.

“Fuck me sideways.” Pyper mumbled and downed the rest of her beer.

“I would love to.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Your turn.” Harry said and Pyper nodded.

“I’m 23. Scorpio, but like not a mysterious one. I have a weird amount of knowledge on stuff and my grandma is my best friend.” She said and Harry smiled softly, listening to her intently.

“My grandma is like my mother and sister rolled into one. She’s never truly felt like a grandmother.” Pyper said and Harry nodded.

“Her food is pretty damn good.” Harry said making Pyper smile.

“She was a chef in France! She moved here when my Mum was born.”

“Can you speak french?”

“Tu es mignon.” (You’re cute.)

“What does it mean?”

Pyper smiled, biting her lip.

“Nothing important.”

TAGLIST 🏷

@damnasstyles @michellekstyles @handsomerry @meetmymouth @harryssweatcreaturee @lidiyatakesadderall @ally5sos @hrryology @onlyangellrry @mrdarcyplease @goldensonlyangel @swiftmendeshoran @cathrry4 @xoxoloverb @milfrrynation @ayeshathestyles @beachwood-cafe @fiftyshadesof-h @myfavfanficsever

[toomuchtv95]

Daddy’s Little Princess

Fandom: Chicago PD

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Wife!Reader

Warning/s: Fluff, medical talk (nothing graphic)

Word Count: 1.5k+

Requests:  “Hi! I just saw you posting about your empty inbox so here I am... I was thinking maybe dad!Jay, anything would suffice, just overall fluffy. I'm in desperate need of some fluff and comfort.” And “Would you be able to do a Jay Halstead one-shot, please. There isn’t as much on him anymore” 

A/N: I hope it’s what you were expect. I tried my best to grasp Daddy!Jay concept and I’m hoping I did that. 

A/N: I woke up the other morning to 20 requests after making a post about my imbox being empty. That makes me so happy that I have the stuff to write now, and I will say that some of them were very similar to each other so I might combine those. Now I have a lot to get done, so bare with me while I work on them on as fast as I can.

Masterlist Mobile Masterlist

“Alright princess what are we coloring?” Jay walked over to Ava who was sitting at the kitchen table coloring. Jay placed a juice box in front of Ava before slightly lifted her to sit her on his lap.

“A picture for Mommy.” Ava took a sip of her juice before continuing to color. After a few minutes of coloring with Jay, Ava spoke up again. “Daddy, I want a sibling.”

Jay stopped coloring as he was in complete shock at what his daughter had just said. “You want a little brother or sister?” Ava nodded her head as she continues to color. Jay took that as his cue to let it be as he was still a little shocked about the conversation.

You had planned on being home for dinner tonight, but there was a pile-up on the highway, and the ED was flooded with patients. So, instead, you grabbed a quick snack in-between patients. It was now 7 pm and you were finally on your way out and you couldn’t wait to get home to your husband and daughter. As you headed out of the ED, you said goodbye to both Maggie and April and scurried out of the ED so you couldn’t be stopped by anyone else. After a 20min drive, you pulled into the driveway next to Jay’s truck and quickly headed into the house. The moment you walked into the house, laughter and screams filled the room which caused the smile on your face to grow even bigger.

You leaned against the doorway to the living room to see Jay on the floor tickling your daughter. “Daddy! Let me go!” Your daughter screamed as she tried to get out of Jay’s grip. Seeing Jay with your daughter made your heart swell in your chest. When you had found out you were pregnant with your daughter, both you and Jay had just gotten married and hadn’t planned on having kids so soon into your marriage, but the universe had other plans for the two of you.

“Mommy!” Ava managed to get out of Jay’s grip, sprinted around the couch, and hid behind your legs.

“Torching our daughter again?” You smirked at Jay as he rounded the couch to stand in front of you. You uncrossed your arms from your chest before rubbing your daughter's back.

“I would never.” As you turned around, you bent over and holstered Ava up on your hip. Jay reached over and tickled your daughter one last time.

“Daddy!” Ava wiggled around in your hands causing you to let out a small chuckle.

“Well now that you tickled her to death, I think it’s time for a bath.” Your daughter's face lit up like a Christmas tree. Ava loved taking baths she always has since she was a baby. “What do you say? You want mommy or daddy to give you a bath?"

“I want…” Ava paused for a moment, pretending to think who she was going to choose, even though you know actually who she was going to choose. “I want Daddy.” Ava reached out for Jay which he took as his cue to take her from your arms.

“Such a daddy’s girl.” You mumbled underneath your breath as a smirk formed on Jay and you knew he heard you.

“Don’t worry. Your still my number one girl.” Jay whispered against your ear as he walked past you and up the stairs.

“Ha. Yeah right. She’s got you wrapped around her finger real tight.” You chuckled as you headed into the living to see toys all over the floor. The place had looked like a mini-tornado had ripped through the small living space, which technically your daughter was a mini-tornado.

Once Ava was settled in the bathtub, Jay handed Ava her toys before sitting down on the floor. Jay loved being a father and to be honest he never thought he would become a father let alone a husband. Jay has had some rocky past relationships that he never thought he would find someone, but then you came along, and it changed everything. The first time the two of you meet was when you were a resident at Med, and he was a patrol officer and he had brought in a victim that needed medical attention. Jay smiled as he watched Ava splash around in the tub.

After Ava finished her bath, the two of them went into her bedroom to change her into PJs. “Okay, which Pjs, do you want to wear tonight?” Jay set Ava down on her bed with her still wrapped in a towel.

“Frozen.” Ava chirped up with a smile on her face. Frozen was of course Ava’s favorite movie at the moment, actually, any Disney movie was her favorite movie, but Frozen was number one at the moment.

“Of course, that’s the one you pick.” Jay let out a soft chuckle while grabbing the Frozen PJs from the top drawer of the dresser. Jay walked over to Ava and changed her into her PJs then moved on her comb her hair.

Once Jay finished with Ava’s hair, she went over to her bookshelf to pick out her bedtime story. “I wanna read this one.” Ava handed Jay a book before jumping on the bed.

“Okay, this one it is.” Jay pulled back the cover on the bed as Ava crawled to the top of the bed. Once Ava was settled underneath the covers, Jay sat next to her and started reading to her. Ava was 100% a daddy’s girl and Jay knew it and loved it.

While Jay was doing Ava’s bedtime routine, you had cleaned up the living room which had toys all over the floor then you had moved on to the kitchen which had dished piled high. After finishing the dishes, you headed upstairs to check on Jay and Ava. As you stopped outside of Ava’s bedroom, you leaned against the doorframe with your arms against your chest as you saw Jay laying the bed with Ava reading her a bedtime story. Ava was curled up against Jay’s side as he quietly read her favorite book. Jay was an amazing dad and husband, and you couldn’t imagine your life without him. After watching Jay for a few more seconds, you pushed yourself away from the doorframe and headed into the bedroom you shared with Jay. You headed into the bathroom, stripped out of your scrubs, and changed into a pair of shorts along with one of Jay’s old shirts.

You exited the bathroom to see Jay walking into the bedroom. “Oh, yeah. She not daddy’s little princess.” You smirked to yourself as Jay closed the door behind him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jay placed the baby monitor on top of the dresser before coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “No need to be jealous. Like I said earlier, your still my number girl.” Jay whispered.

“I’m not jealous of a three-year-old.” You leaned back in his arms just as Jay placed a soft kiss on the back of your head.

“So, I had an interesting conversation with our daughter today.” Jay unwrapped his arms from your waist, before stripping out of his flannel shirt.

“Well, any conversation with Ava is interesting.” You chuckled as you sat down on the edge of the bed while watching Jay empty his pockets onto the top of the dresser.

“Oh, well this one was very interesting.” Once Jay finished empty his pockets, he turned to face you. “She wants a sibling.”

“Oh.” Honestly, you weren’t shocked that Ava wants a sibling, she was an only child, and she has mentioned it a few times before. The truth was you have been thinking about having more kids lately, you just haven’t had the chance to talk to Jay about it, but maybe now was the perfect time.

“Oh? That all you got?” Jay crossed his arms against his chest while raising an eyebrow at you.

“Well,” you paused for a moment trying to gather your thoughts. “Maybe it’s time.”

“Are you saying what I think you're saying?” Jay uncrossed his arms while sitting down next to you.

You turned to face Jay while sitting crisscross. “Honestly, I have been thinking about it a lot recently and I know we haven’t talked about it in a while and-”

“I want another one, too.” Jay reached over your lap and grab your hand. “You know I love both you and Ava more than anything and I would love nothing more than to expand our family.”

A smile grew on your face before reaching over with your free hand and cupped his face. “So, we are doing this then?”

“Yeah, we are.” Jay leaned forward and softly collide his lips with yours. You smiled through the kiss as you wrapped your arm around his neck and uncrossed your legs in the process. You continued kissing him hungrily wanting more. His hands made their way to your waist and pulled you onto his lap. You wrapped your one arm around his neck while the other arm gripped his upper arm.

“I love you.” You whispered against his lips as you slightly pulled away.

“I love you more,” Jay whispered back before reconnecting his lips to yours.

Jay Halstead Taglist: @brithedemonspawn​ @baker151910​ @samanthavitale​​@nerd-88​  @mssleepy876b​ @hehurst23​ @anotheronechicagobog​ @skyofficialxx​ @beautiful-bunny89​ @panaitbeatrice​@winterberryfox​ @itsmycorneroftheinternet​

[beyondspaceandstars]

While You Sleep

Chapter 14

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: depictions of panic attack, suggestive content Summary: Soulmate!AU - Throughout life, you’re given glimpses of your soulmate through dreams. As you sleep, memories flash in your mind showing you the life your soulmate has lived. Everyone around you raves about how their soulmate reads great books or volunteers in their spare time. But you can’t relate as your dreams end up being more like nightmares. Through initial images of death and violence, you come to learn your soulmate is the Winter Soldier.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

After a couple of days had passed, Bucky had approached you with the idea of going on another date. At first, you were greatly hesitant. The memories of the Hydra man telling you their first glimpse of you was during a date couldn’t escape your mind. You had brought it up to Bucky as gently as you could but he assured you, you had nothing to worry about. Those at the facilities were…”gone.” He had simply put it at that. You didn’t want to think about how deep the organization may actually run seeing as they had been able to be under the radar for a while. But you forced yourself to put the rest of your great concerns away and, eventually, agreed to a date. 

Bucky thought the movies could be a fun thing for you two to do. He admitted he hadn’t been to one in quite some time and was interested to see what was out there in terms of genres. That led you two to sitting at the kitchen counter in the compound, leaning over the newspaper, skimming the movie showtimes. You didn’t have the heart to tell him you could've just looked this up on your phone.

“What about an action movie?” Bucky asked. You scooted your stool closer to read the title he was pointing at. You had to admit, you were getting pretty comfortable at the compound, having declared this one particular stool yours in the kitchen. You were harboring a lot of concerns over your apartment. It still sat in your mind as the, well, the initial scene of the crime. The start of that incident. Thankfully, no one seemed bothered by your extended stay and you thought Bucky seemed to secretly enjoy playing house in this capacity. 

“I don’t know,” you shrugged. “They’re so hit or miss. We might not like it.”

Bucky hummed. “If we don’t like it, it’ll just give us an excuse to make out.”

You couldn’t help the small giggle that escaped your lips. It was a rare occurrence lately and Bucky always looked relieved when you’d show any signs of getting closer to peace. “Is that why you want to go to the movies, Buck?”

Your soulmate scoffed, shaking his head with a little cheeky grin. “You mean to tell me you really watched every movie you went on a date to see?”

“Oh, hush,” you smirked back as Bucky playfully rolled his eyes. “I guess nothing really changes over the years.”

This banter was good - it felt good. You weren’t in pristine condition but this was maybe showing some progress. Crying in bed with Bucky seems like a lifetime away despite just being a day or so ago. Concerns of various formats weren't vanishing so fast, though. Especially in the realm of nightmares. You hadn’t brought it up to anyone but it was like something had reset in the bond. While they weren’t as obnoxious, you weren’t getting dreams of Bucky reading or any cute shit like that.

“How about a horror movie? That could be fun,” Bucky said. “I can hold you when you get scared.”

You bit your lip. “Who said I get scared during horror movies?”

Bucky shook his head, letting out a light laugh. “You’re making this impossible, doll.” 

Before you could tell him to quit it, someone entered the kitchen. The person came up behind you two and began looking over your shoulder at the movie times. “Going to the movies?” Steve asked. 

You and Bucky turned to him, nodding. “We can’t figure out what we want to see, though.”

Steve hummed as his eyes raked over the page. “How about a romance?” He suggested. “Bucky used to cry his eyes out over those.”

Immediately, Bucky began spewing protests left and right calling Steve the biggest liar while you couldn’t help but genuinely crack up at the situation. It was a nice thing, you thought, sitting here laughing over something silly between Bucky and Steve. Almost like you were getting on and everything was figuring itself out. Maybe today would be the day it all finally took a turn. 

“Alright, alright,” you said, trying to calm Bucky. Steve looked greatly amused while your soulmate was just annoyed. “I think that’s settled then. My curiosity has peaked. I wanna see a romance.”

Bucky groaned. “It happened one time.”

Steve shrugged. “Maybe she can hold you just in case it happens again.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Bucky scoffed. “Want to share anything else with her? Any other embarrassing stories from back in the day you think she just desperately needs to hear?”

You looked excitedly towards Steve. “Yeah, Steve, is there anymore?”

He smirked. “Trust me, there’s plenty. But I wouldn’t want to waste them all now. I’ll save them for your wedding day.” And with that, Steve nodded, possibly quite proud of himself for dropping that, and exited the kitchen, back on his path to wherever he was going. He left you two practically with a bomb. 

Wedding day - the idea of that was something that has never crossed your mind. And from the looks of it, neither had it crossed Bucky’s. It wasn’t uncommon for soulmates to get married. Most didn’t see the purpose outside of the legal side but you didn’t fall into that. You were hopelessly guilty of daydreaming about your wedding day...

Bucky cleared his throat. “So,” he looked back at the paper, “romance it is, then?”

You took a deep breath, snapping your thoughts back into place. “Sure.”

***

Steve’s claim hadn't been that too far off. As you two were exiting the theater, having just watched an hour and a half of two people being oblivious when it comes to love, Bucky wouldn’t meet your eyes. You were commenting on the movie but he was stuck looking at the hem of your dress. You had gone with a light sundress having not much effort to get that dressed up but still wanting to look good for your man. It was decorated with little polka dots. Apparently, the dots were the most fascinating thing in the world to Bucky.

“Bucky,” you nudged him as you were walking down the street, “are you even listening to me?”

“Hmm?” Bucky jumped, his eyes finally meeting yours. And sure enough, they were wet. You couldn’t help the little giggle that escaped you.

“Steve wasn’t kidding,” you smiled, “romances really get to you, huh?”

Bucky playfully rolled his eyes and looked away. You took the opportunity to take your hand in his as you two continued your walk. 

After a moment, you spoke again, “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Buck. I think it’s quite endearing.”

He scoffed. “You’re just saying that.”

“I am not,” you protested. “I think it’s very sweet you love love that much. I see it when we’re together.”

Bucky finally turned back to you. “Really?” He asked so gently. His eyes had a glimmer of hope in them. Your heart was melting. 

“Of course.”

Abruptly, he stopped you two right there on the sidewalk. He looked like an absolute dream in his nice shirt and slacks, illuminated just by the glow of the night and the flickering street lamps. He was looking at you like you had hung the moon and stars. You went to ask why you two were stopped but before you could, Bucky’s lips were on yours. They were so soft and gentle yet fierce and loving. You had forgotten how much he channeled in these kisses as you hadn’t been quite intimate since before the kidnapping. You had been scared, quite honestly. Despite the sequence of events not exactly being related, the last time you slept with your soulmate you were whisked away. It was a stupid, ridiculous fear you felt slowly dissipating the more your lips moved in sync. 

Suffice with the moment but leaving a bit to tease, Bucky eventually pulled away. “Let’s get back to the compound.”

You bit your lip a bit more hesitantly than you had intended but still nodded. You knew where this was going and you had to run with it. You had to let Bucky guide you to it. He was it for you, you had to remember. He was your soulmate for a reason and you were getting through this together. As cliche it seemed, you walked with him into what felt like the unknown. 

***

The second you were outside the shared bedroom, Bucky couldn’t keep his hands off you. He was the perfect gentleman on the way back and even all through the compound but once the coast was clear, his hands were trailing up and down your sides, dipping scandalously low. You tried playfully shooing him away but then he’d reach under your dress and pinch the inside of your thigh and, well, after that, you were practically done for. 

You were absolutely amazed by how naturally you fell back into this rhythm with Bucky. You figured something had just been needed, some kind of push to get you back on track. Maybe this date had been that. You didn’t want to think too much anymore, though, so you followed Bucky as he walked you back into the bed. 

He was on top of you in a matter of minutes, lips locked fully with yours as his hands continued to roam. It was all happening fast. Very fast. Bucky was a skilled multitasker in more ways than one. As he was taking off his shirt, he was already working on getting your dress off. You paid little attention to any of it, trying to let yourself get lost in the movements and lovingness of your soulmate.  

Once your dress was discarded, long forgotten in the room with Bucky’s shirt, next came his pants and your bra. All while doing so, Bucky kept stealing kisses from all over your body. Your lips. Your neck. Your chest. Your stomach. He was like a starved man and maybe, in some way, he really was. Part of you had denied him from so much, including sex, after the…

Your eyes shot open. Your heart was suddenly pounding but not in the excited, horny kind of way. Not in anticipation for your soulmate’s touch. In fact, you wanted the exact opposite of that. You felt like you were suddenly suffocating. You became very aware of Bucky’s body on top of you, the weight of him holding you into the bed that was so soft you felt like you were sinking. 

Bucky was seemingly oblivious to all of this despite your breath becoming shallow and unsteady. You wiggled under his touch trying some way to get him off but he mistook it for pleasure and kept his teasing work around your panties. 

“Bucky-,”

“I know, doll,” he hummed, his lips back at your neck while his metal hand dipped a little into the waistband. You shook your head.

“No, Bucky, please-,” your voice was barely there as you tried to convey your nervousness. Your brain felt like it was cloudy. You didn’t know what to say, what to do, to get his attention. You gasped, overwhelmed.

Bucky pulled away from your neck immediately, brows furrowed in confusion at your sudden switch in emotion. He said your name, voice so full of concern, but he felt so far away.

You couldn’t find the words anymore so you just tried to push him off. While naturally impossible, he took the sign and quickly lifted himself off of you, going as far to leave the bed. He stood at the foot of it, watching you try to prop yourself up on your elbows. 

You were struggling to breathe still and trying so hard to get your brain focused on something other than the feeling of being held down. It didn’t make sense, though. It really didn’t. You hadn’t been held down like that but there was something about the logistics of it your brain couldn’t separate the actions. You couldn’t move, you were dominated once again. And then you suddenly remembered Bucky’s involvement and it all just… It was all just one giant fucking mess. Your hands were shaking. 

Bucky tried again, “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

Your eyes shot to him, realizing how wild you must look. You were having a panic attack in the middle of sex. How much more could your life be affected by those goddamn-

“Doll, please, breathe with me,” Bucky pleaded as he leaned down to your eye line. You sat up further and he took the chance to take your hands in his. He held them as they shook uncontrollably. You stared into his eyes, regaining some order in your breathing.

“I-I’m sorry-,”

Bucky shook his head. “No, don’t you dare apologize. It’s alright, I understand. Just focus on your breathing. There’s nothing bad here, sweetheart. Just me.”

You nodded slowly and closed your eyes, focusing on your heart which was finally settling down. You pushed away the thoughts. The images of being strapped down. The way you were tossed around like a ragdoll. The look Bucky wore as he killed those men-

You shifted your attention to the weight of Bucky’s hands in yours. They had done so much bad but were also doing you so much good. 

It was over. Everything you had endured was over. Those men were gone. That Bucky wasn’t really that Bucky. He was still your Bucky. The Bucky that walked you to work and cried over movies. You had to drill this into your brain before something else overtook you.

After a moment or so, you felt you could finally reopen your eyes. Bucky was still watching you intensely.

“B-Better?” He seemed nervous to ask.

“Yeah,” you said, finding your voice again. “Thank you, Bucky.”

He let out a small sniffle and that’s when you finally saw the tears forming in his eyes. You looked down at your connected hands, unable to bear seeing what you had caused. 

“Anytime, sweetheart,” Bucky whispered. “I’m here whenever you need me.”

You gave a small, shy nod. “Can we just go to bed now?”

Wordlessly, Bucky stood up and grabbed one of his shirts for you. While you threw it on, Bucky began unmaking the bed. Once he had set up your space with the blankets you cherished, you crawled right in and tried to let sleep take you.

It wasn’t very pleasant in your dream world as the memories of the kidnapping filled you, despite all your best attempts to suppress it. 

But you stood no chance escaping these because they weren’t your memories. They were from Bucky’s perspective. 

Unknowingly to him, you were seeing all the steps he had taken when it came to murdering the Hydra men. You felt the anger, the determination. The absolute disregard for them. You could practically feel it as his fist collided with them. As he drained their life from their bodies. 

You didn't want to react, though - God forbid you give Bucky another reason to worry -  and instead, you gave in to them.

[spicynamericano]

Perception. - mk lee

sypnosis: you meet a stranger in the park, who helps you prepare for your interview with renowned author, mark lee.

word count: 2.1k

genre: fluff, strangers to friends!au, author!mark x reporter!reader

a/n: i impulsively wrote this in the wee hours of the morning because i can't stop thinking about mark lee and his poems! btw, this is my first time posting an au on this platform, but i do have ongoing twitter fics (written in eng/fil)!

I had just finished my late night shift at the office and was on my way home from work. Being a field reporter is not an easy job. I have to work my butt off to always stay up to date on the latest news and make sure to grab even the rarest exclusives.

I have to travel to basically anywhere, just to gather the most accurate information for the daily primetime news. And even if work is done for the day, I would usually go overtime to make sure no single detail is left out for tomorrow’s reports.

My workplace isn’t that far from home, or what I call home now. Moving into my elder sister’s old apartment was not a hassle. It was actually quite a blessing since I always used to stay over whenever we visited the city. I really thank the heavens that her place was near my workplace. Imagine the struggle of moving in and out from scratch. Actually, I wouldn’t even dare to imagine.

I would usually ride my bike to and from the office, but since I was running a bit late earlier in the morning, I decided to take the bus. Convenience at its finest. But it’s late now. A fifteen minute walk back home won’t hurt, right? Besides, I needed a breather. A walk in the nearby park would suffice.

It’s midnight and of course, the park is empty. Although Seoul is alive 24/7, I really like how some areas still have that laid-back vibe. I walk to the swings and place my bag on the ground. I do wish someone would push me right now. I just wanna be free from all the hectic stuff I’ve been doing lately.

But no, the quick rest I thought of didn’t stop me from going over tomorrow’s duties. I scan my little, brown notepad and check the work I have yet to accomplish. I mostly finished them before I got off work, but there is one more that I needed to do for tomorrow: interview Mr. Mark Lee, the author of the best-selling Late Night Scribbles.

It’s a collection of poems and prose he’s written over the course of five years during his travels to different cities as a renowned travel writer. His travel reviews and recommendations were something I always looked forward to reading. Maybe someday I could go on a stress-free holiday trip thanks to his advice.

I have read his book. For someone who’s trained into more technical writing like me, I could still clearly resonate with most of the poems he’s written. Not too shallow, not too deep. Though you do need to have a sense of literature in order to understand more of his deeper works. He isn’t famous for nothing.

What appalled me though is that he never showed his face to anyone, not even once. Some say he’s actually the main rapper of the world-renowned boy group NCT, since they bear the same name. I think otherwise. Well, it could be, though. Rappers do make their own lines and tell their own stories.

But I don’t think that Mark Lee would be the same person I’d be interviewing tomorrow. It’s weird because I won’t be actually meeting him face to face. He said he’d rather converse through email. Works for me since I don’t have to travel tomorrow. Thank God.

Well, let me tell you a secret. The reason I don’t think author Mark Lee is singer Mark Lee is because singer Mark Lee is actually my childhood best friend. Crazy, huh? I used to live in Vancouver when I was young until my family and I moved back to Korea during my teen years.

I don’t think he remembers me, though. But I do remember him. Our moms were practically best friends. I couldn’t say the same to us, only if he still actually remembers me.

I stretch my arms up high and bend it side to side. God, I need a massage asap. I was about to pick up my bag when a basketball rolled over and hit the tip of my loafers. A man dressed in black waves from the court, signaling to toss the ball to his direction.

I would toss it if I could but I walk over instead. Blame my poor strength and reflexes. And I obviously do not want to embarrass myself. A rough day’s a rough day. I don’t want an addition.

“Uhm, are you looking for this?” I ask the guy, tossing the ball mid-air.

“Yes, thank you…” he pauses. “uh…”

“Oh, it’s (y/n).” I introduced myself, “And you are?”

“Minhyung.”

“Well, you’re welcome, Minhyung. Good luck with your basketball practice!” I gave him a nod before finally turning back to go home.

“Wait!” he calls out. “Do you maybe wanna have a cup of coffee? There’s a nearby convenience store still open. I figured you might need it.”

Was it that obvious? I can’t imagine how stressed I look right now! He has probably seen the dark circles under my eyes. Gross.

I finally turn around and give him a smile, “You know, maybe I do need it. Let’s go?”

This man and I walk to the nearby convenience store just a few meters away from the court. It’s midnight and not many people are here. Well, just exactly like how I want it. The park can actually become full, even until 10 pm. But I guess these people also need some shut-eye. I’m actually surprised this man right here still has some energy left.

I wait outside and sit at the nearest gazebo while he buys instant coffee for the both of us. He arrives with three in hand. Does he like coffee that much?

“You’re really gonna drink two?” I ask him curiously.

“It’s actually for you,” he says as he hands me one of the cups. “I feel like you’re going to be staying up late tonight.”

Well, he’s right. I am gonna be staying up late. I still need to prepare questions for tomorrow’s, or later, rather, interview. I really won’t be getting some sleep tonight. I also need to do research on him too.

“Well, I do have an interview for tomorrow. I still need to prepare as it’s a very important one.”

“With whom, may I ask?”

“Mark Lee, the author. Not the singer.”

“Oh,” he lets out a soft sigh that can be heard, even through his mask. Is he offended that I don’t think author Mark Lee and singer Mark Lee are the same?

“Why do you sound so disappointed?”

“Uh, nothing. I just remembered the book he recently released. Have you read it?”

“Late Night Scribbles?”

“Yes, that!” he answered enthusiastically. Wow, I guess I found a fan right here. He might actually help me with my interview later. I need to grab this chance.

“Do you mind helping me? I’m actually going to interview him about it tomorrow.” I gave him the widest smile, hoping he’d say yes. I normally wouldn’t do this to strangers, especially at night. But I really just need to get this over with.

“Well, as someone who’s a fan of his works. I’d like to give it a try and interpret it,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Just imagine I’m Mark Lee. Shoot your questions.”

“Hmm, I can’t be answering personal questions since you’re not Mark Lee.” I scratch my head. Damn, I can’t think of anything. My brain is not working right now! “But if you were Mark Lee, what would you want to be asked?”

“If I were Mark Lee? Well, rather than asking what my inspiration was behind the works I’ve made, I’d rather be asked on how I tried to convey my thoughts and feelings to this piece of work,” he explained, staring at the night sky.

I followed the direction of his gaze, and he’s looking at Orion, one of the brightest constellations out there. I gaze at it too while waiting for him to continue explaining.

“But isn’t it basically the same as drawing inspiration from something?” I ask profoundly.

“Not really. You can draw inspiration from anything. And you can come up with different outputs based on one inspiration. What’s important is how you’re able to connect the context of what you’re writing to the feelings you want to draw out,” he continues.

“With a single inspiration, I can come up with two completely different works based on how it’s written. The idea may be the same but the context is not.”

“Hmm, care to explain a little further?” I ask politely.

“We can use Black Socks as an example.”

Black socks are underrated

The way they connect the bottom sleeves of

my black sweatpants to my black sneakers

is just perfect

Pleasure from perfect alignment

That also goes for the ability to be parallel

with my thoughts and actions

I try to live out what’s in my mind, and keep

it consistent even when forgotten like a

working habit

A moment to think twice about what

seemed unimportant

Black socks have been making my day

these days and I knew I had to return the

favor by acknowledging them

I throw you in the bin only so that you can

be renewed again

“Black socks, literally an ordinary object that is tossed to the bin right after use. But what caught my eye is his appreciation for this mundane thing.”

“Through his words, you can tell black socks gave him comfort. He used a simple subject to convey his inner thoughts of how every little thing we don’t really recognize can actually be part of our routine, our life,” he said, looking me in the eye seriously.

“He found comfort in the most ordinary things no ordinary person would take notice of.”

Minhyung stands up and stretches his arms. He then continues, “It’s actually cool he shared this piece with us. If I were him, I’d go on and ramble how black socks could ruin my laundry.”

We both chuckle at the thought. It’s true. I hate how some of my black socks actually ruin my laundry. I dread the thought.

“It’s only a matter of perception, (y/n). Sometimes, you have to open your eyes and see, not look. Listen, not hear. Savor, not taste. Feel, not touch.”

“You know, you could actually be Mark Lee himself,” I tease him, “You do know your literature.”

I know he smiled at my remark. I can see his cheekbones rise from the edges of his mask.

“Sometimes, you just have to ask the right questions in order to get the answers you want,” he said teasingly. “You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.”

For a stranger, he’s indeed a good talker. I actually learned so much from our talk tonight.

“Thanks for tonight, Minhyung. I really learned a lot.” I thank him before gulping down the last cup of coffee he bought me. “And thanks for the coffee, by the way! I now have energy to prepare for my interview later.”

“No problem. I’m just glad that I was able to help.”

I stood up from my seat and we both started walking away from the park.

“It’s 1 am. How are you gonna get home, (y/n)?” Minhyung asks worriedly. Yeah, it is pretty late. It’s a good thing I just live near.

“My apartment’s just two blocks away. I can manage,” I say with a smile, a genuine one at that. “How about you?”

“I’ll just grab a cab. Do you mind if I walk you home?” I don’t know why but I felt flustered for a moment. Surprisingly though, I just nodded my head, giving him permission to accompany me home.

We both arrive at the entrance of my apartment building and we say our last goodbyes.

“For a stranger, you really do know how to make people comfy,” I say, crossing my arms and giving him a stare, brows furrowed to tease him.

“Well, that’s just how I am,” he says while giving me a wink. Okay, now he’s flirting. Someone stop him, please. Just kidding.

“By the way, you haven’t taken your mask off the entire time except when drinking coffee. I couldn’t get a good glimpse at you since it was dark,” I explain. It’s true. Add the fact that I’m barely keeping myself awake the whole time. “I might’ve actually thought you’re an idol of some sort. Perhaps, maybe you are Mark Lee.”

“What?” he asks, puzzled and clearly taken aback. “Why’d you think so?”

“Because you share the same name with him.”

[ticklishtimothee]

a part of the family (spencer reid x reader)

summary: spencer hasn’t told the team about your relationship yet, but when morgan accidentally learns about it, spencer finally gets the courage to introduce you to the rest of the team.

a/n: i still have a few prompts to fill but this idea wouldn’t leave my head and i’m on a huge criminal minds binge atm so i hope you guys enjoy!!

words: 1,640

You awoke in Spencer’s bed, still mostly undressed from the night before, the memory making a sleepy smile curl on your face. Begrudgingly pulling back the covers, you stood up and pulled on one of Spencer’s sweaters, as it was way too early to get dressed back up in your jeans and own top.

Plus, you just liked stealing his clothes. He didn’t seem to mind one bit, so why stop?

You two had been together for about two months, but he still hadn’t gotten around to telling his team. You weren’t offended, after he explained why.

“I’ve never had a really serious relationship before, and they’re all so used to me being the kid of the team, I’m afraid they’re going to make a huge deal of it. My first kiss was during a case, and Morgan made fun of me about it for weeks after. I love them all, but I’m with them all the time, and I just...I want something that’s just for us right now.”

You were more than content with that, for the time being, although you were also itching to meet the people who were so important to your boyfriend. Whenever he was ready, you would be.

Faintly, through the closed bedroom door, you heard voices. Was there someone at the door? Spencer wasn’t one to talk to himself while he brewed coffee, and he wasn’t on the phone, because you could hear two voices, and he never put his calls on speaker.

Curiosity getting the better of you, you tiptoed toward the door, and let it slowly creak open.

In the small apartment, you could see straight down the hall to the front door, which Spencer had opened about a quarter of the way, and he was talking to someone through the crack.

Deciding that it was nothing important, just someone from the building asking if he’d buy their daughter’s Girl Scout cookies (he would say yes, of course), you opened the door the rest of the way and started making your way down the hall.

“C’mon, pretty boy, re-reading War and Peace is not the same as being busy—”

Without warning, the person who had spoken pushed Spencer gently in the chest and made their way through the door, a tall and muscular black man who you recognized from the few pictures that Spencer had shown you of the team.

“Morgan!” Spencer cried, confirming it was exactly who you thought the intruder was.

It was too late, though. Morgan’s eyes had already locked on you, surprise spreading over his features.

Remembering your state of undress, you hurriedly crossed your arms over your chest. This wasn’t at all how you planned to meet Spencer’s co-workers. You had at least thought you’d have some more clothes on when it happened.

Morgan looked between Spencer and you for a moment.

Sensing the awkwardness in the air, you spoke up. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you, Agent Morgan.”

“It’s just Derek to you, sweetheart,” he replied, shooting you a smile. “I’m really sorry to barge in like this, I just wasn’t expecting Reid to have anyone over.”

Spencer flushed pink, and it made you giggle softly. “It’s no worry. I am gonna go back in there so you guys can talk, and maybe put on some pants while I’m at it,” you said, shooting a smile between the two men before dipping back into the bedroom.

You caught some parts of the conversation, mostly Derek apologizing, and Spencer apologizing back for having not told him. But the one thing you did hear that made a hopeless smile spread across your face was Derek’s voice.

“Y/N seems like a catch, kid. I’d love to meet them again when you wanna introduce us all, formally this time.”

Spencer laughed softly. “Yeah, they’re great. Maybe next weekend, if we don’t have a case...I’ll see if Y/N is up for it.”

After Morgan left, Spencer came back into the bedroom with two mugs of coffee in his hands, his face still flushed and a shy smile.

“I’m so sorry about that,” he said immediately. “I see him almost every day, but just because he assumed I wasn’t doing anything, he dropped by to see if I wanted to get lunch with him and Penelope.”

You chuckled, gratefully accepting one of the cups. “He seems great. Although it isn’t exactly how I pictured meeting him, I see why you like him so much.”

“Do you think...I mean, would you want...to meet the rest of them, sometime?” he asked, and you could hear the nervous twinge in his tone.

You reached out with one hand to cup the side of his face. “I’d love that. Anyone who is important to you is someone I want to meet.”

He grinned, and pulled you in for a quick kiss.

***

The next day, Spencer was called away on a case, and you sat in your apartment, engrossed in a book that he’d lended you when your phone dinged.

Although he wasn’t much of a texter, he did it occasionally when he was too busy to give you a call. It read: “I asked the team if they’d like to meet you. They’re so excited. We should be on a plane out of here by the weekend. How does Saturday sound?”

Smiling to yourself, you replied: “It sounds perfect. Tell them I can’t wait.”

Carefully marking your place in the book, you went to your closet to pick something to wear. 

It was only Thursday, but you wanted the team to like you. Their entire job was to judge off of appearances, off of first impressions, and so you knew you had to make a good one.

You dug through endless outfits before settling on one that you decided could suffice: classy but not overdressed.

You went to bed that night, and the night after, feeling like you had first-day jitters like a kid in high school. You went about your usual routine, just with an added excitement beneath your actions.

Spencer texted you Friday evening: “The jet just landed. Instead of going to a bar, Rossi offered up his house, if that’s alright. I can come pick you up.”

You replied. “I’ll start getting ready!”

Spencer’s lack of texting skills were a running joke between the two of you, and so he had started using emojis to show off the fact that he did  know how to work his phone, and therefore sent back a thumbs-up.

It made you laugh, looking at the screen fondly, before you started getting ready.

There was a knock on your apartment door just as you were finishing, and you hurried over to let Spencer in.

His eyes widened a little when he saw you. “Wow,” he said instead of a usual greeting.

You grinned. “You like it?”

“You look amazing,” he said, before pulling you in for a kiss.

You kissed him back, before running back inside to grab your bag and put on your shoes, and the two of you set off in a cab to Rossi’s home (or rather, mansion).

You walked towards the front door with bated breath, Spencer squeezing your hand reassuringly as he rang the doorbell.

A short, bearded man who you knew was Rossi himself answered the door, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree when he saw you. “You must be Y/N! Come in you two, come in.”

“Dave, where are your manners? At least introduce yourself before you heard them in here like cattle,” a taller man, Hotch, you remembered, said.

“Oh, hush Aaron, I’m sure Reid told them our names,” he replied. “But, in case he didn’t: David Rossi, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

You giggled, taking the hand which he extended to you and shaking it. “It’s great to meet you too.”

“Aaron Hotchner,” the other man said, coming over to shake your hand as well, and you felt yourself begin to turn pink under all the attention.

“I’m Penelope,” one of the women came forward, and her smile could have lit the whole room. “You are so adorable!”

“Thank you,” you laughed, assuming she was that straightforward with everyone. “I love your dress.”

Penelope pulled you in for a giddy one-armed hug. “Spencer, they’re a keeper,” she stage-whispered.

JJ approached you next, an older-sister like glint in her eye as she assessed you, but you seemed to pass her test by the way she smiled, after a very firm handshake.

Then, Emily, already with a glass of red wine in her hand, took her time to compliment your shoes. You knew that was a high compliment coming for her, as Spencer had told you about her extensive collection of boots and heels.

“It’s good to see you again, Y/N,” Morgan said.

“Again? What do you mean, again?” Penelope asked, shooting him a look.

Spencer went red. You assumed that he hadn’t told them about the incident at the apartment, and you hid your laugh in your sleeve as Derek began to retell it, mischief dancing in his eyes.

You should have been more embarrassed, but it was hard to not feel comfortable around them all, and besides, they had heard way worse stories in the field, so it didn’t seem to phase them besides some laughter and poking fun at Spencer, who you knew secretly didn’t mind one bit.

“They always make you feel like part of the family,” he had once told you when describing his team.

At dinner, Rossi made a show of clinking a fork on his glass and standing.

“A toast, to Spencer and Y/N,” he announced, and he caught your eye with a smile, and as everyone said “cheers!”, you knew you were officially a part of the family.

[izzyfandoms]

Sleepality - Inky Freckles

SHIPS: Sleepality, background Virmile and Thomgan, and mentioned Dukeceit (though neither of them show up)

WARNINGS: Remus sends one text message with an implied threat (not towards the recipient), very very background sympathetic deceit and remus (they aren't acc in any scenes), mild swearing

GENERAL TAGLIST: @quillfics42 @ajdraws0430 @phantomofthesanderssides @creativity-killed-thekitten @phlying-squirrel @sly-is-my-name-loving-is-my-game @because-were-fam-ily @imtryingthisout @a-creepycookie @emo-disaster @littlestr @spooky-scary-virgil @fuyel @mimsidoodles @soupgremlin @aroaceagenderfluid @birdsbookshiddeninrealbirdsskin @quirkalurk @gingers-trashy-stuff @iinyxtello @justaqueercactus @melodiread

Masterpost

Patton chewed distractedly on the end of his pen, tapping his foot on his bedroom floor as his eyes remained on his clock, watching as the seconds and the minutes ticked by.

Five minutes. Ten seconds.

Five minutes and ten seconds until the moment he turned sixteen.

January 15th, 1:46 am on the dot: the exact date and time of Patton’s birth. Precisely sixteen years after that moment, his soul would open up, and the bond between him and his soulmate would be formed, like an invisible string from one soul to the other. Any ink spilled on Patton’s skin would show up on his soulmate’s, too, and vice versa. Of course, nothing would happen if Patton’s soulmate wasn’t also sixteen yet, but it was still a big moment in his young life.

(If he even had a soulmate, that was. Most people didn’t, but Patton wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t hopeful.)

Four minutes. Thirty-six seconds.

Patton got up from his desk, pacing around the room a few times before sitting down on his bed, leaning back against the pillows and pulling his knees to his chest. Despite the coolness of his room, and the goose-bumps on his arms, he was dressed in a worn blue t-shirt and pyjama shorts, revealing as much skin as possible, just in case. His father, Roman, had gifted him a new pack of pens – the ones made specially to be safe for skin – and he’d picked out the glittery light blue one, his favourite colour, ready to write.

Three minutes. Twelve seconds.

“Come on, come on, come on,” Patton mumbled.

Three minutes. Seven seconds.

He yawned loudly, stretching and almost dropping his pen. It was late – much later than he usually stayed up. Patton was a well-behaved kid; he went to bed when his father told him to, never stayed out past curfew. He was usually fast asleep by 11pm at latest, so this was rather unusual for him.

Tonight was one of a kind, after all.

Two minutes. Fifty-one seconds.

The tick of the clock was maddeningly slow, every second seeming to take hours. Patton couldn’t wait for when he didn’t have to keep watching.  

He reached over to his bedside table, taking his phone and switching it on.

There was one new message, from his uncle Remus, sent a few minutes ago.

UNCLE REMUS

tell your soulmate if he ever hurts you ill rip off his dick and shove it down his throat

Patton sighed, switching off his phone and placing it back down beside him. He wasn’t sure why his uncle was so certain that he had a soulmate – he claimed it was because he was psychic, though his husband, Janus, had chided him and told him not to get Patton’s hopes up.  

It was hard not to be hopeful. Impossible.

One minute. Forty-nine seconds.

Patton chewed nervously on his lip, looking over his freckled arms and wondering what exactly he’d write to his soulmate.

Would a simple ‘hello’ suffice?

There was no point in writing a whole paragraph, especially when it was statistically unlikely that Patton even had a soulmate – and even if he did, perhaps they were younger, and their connection wouldn’t start until his soulmate turned sixteen, too.

One minute. Zero seconds.

A minute. A minute. A minute. Just a minute until Patton (maybe) talked to his soulmate for the first time. That was so little time – though it felt like so much.

Patton couldn’t help but burst into delighted laughter, and he was sure that if anybody was watching him, they’d think he was insane. The hope bubbled up inside him, like a cup overflowing with water, unable to be suppressed.

Fifty seconds.

He moved forward, and then lay down on his back, spreading his arms out like a starfish.

Patton tried to keep the hope down, tried to keep it from spilling over even more. Or maybe that was nausea, swirling in his stomach, but it almost felt too good to be that. Too happy. Too excited. Both, maybe.

Forty seconds.

Patton twirled the pen in his hand.

It slipped from his fingers, hitting the carpet with a quiet thump.

He bent down – wobbling slightly and nearly tumbling right off his bed – picking it back up and then sitting up again. He moved so his back was pressed against the wall, and tilted his head up to look at the pattern at the ceiling, counting each swirl.

He glanced back at the clock.

Twenty seconds.

His heart thumped loudly in his chest, and his eyes remained on the clock, watching it tick.

Ten seconds.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Zero.

Zero. Zero. Zero.

Patton sat up straight, squeezing the pen tightly, so tightly that his nails dug into his palm.

He pulled off the cap, dropping it on the bed beside him and holding the tip just above his wrist. His hand shook (nervousness or excitement? Both) as he pondered what to write for another moment.

He pressed the pen to his skin.

Hello?

Hopefully that was good enough.

Patton waited a few seconds, almost a whole minute, and then sighed, leaning back so his head hit the wall and closing his eyes. He was disappointed, but he knew that it was his own fault. He shouldn’t have let himself get so hopeful. Maybe he didn’t have a soulmate – that was alright, his uncles weren’t soulmates and yet they were wonderfully happy together.

(But his brother, Emile, did have a soulmate, and there was something amazing about the way he and Virgil could practically read each other’s minds, communicating effortlessly without saying a word. Patton wanted that. He really, desperately wanted that, more than anything else in the world.)

He wouldn’t cry.  

He wanted to cry, but he wouldn’t.

His lower lip trembled.

All of a sudden, Patton felt a funny sensation on his wrist, like someone else was writing on it – the non-existent pen so light on his skin he almost couldn’t feel it. Almost.

Patton’s eyes shot open, and he immediately lifted his wrist to stare at it, wide-eyed.

His breath stuttered at the words now written in black ink just below his greeting.

holy shit

Before Patton could truly process what was going on, before he could regain his breath, the sensation resumed, and more words began to appear below those first ones.

hi

guess im ur soulmate lol

Patton couldn’t help but giggle, practically vibrating with excitement.

He picked his pen back up, ignoring the slight stain he’d left on his bedsheets. He’d spilt enough juice and milk on his bed to care about one little stain, especially right now, when he had a much more important thing to focus on.

Oh my gosh!!!!!!

Soulmate!!!

Im Patton!

Patton Picani!!!

thats a lot of exclamation marks babe

Nervousness tinged the edges of Patton’s bubble of excitement, enough that he almost didn’t notice the use of the word ‘babe’, which made his heart skip a beat.

sorry

not a bad thing

its cute

Patton bit his lip, wiggling excitedly as his heartrate increased. He watched as the words continued coming. They were messy, but Patton was sure the handwriting was the prettiest he��d ever seen, though he could admit that he might’ve been a little biased. He would read a million books written in this handwriting.

im Remy

Sanders

my bdays acc the 16th lol

tomorrow

i turn 17

Its my birthday today!!!!

Only after Patton wrote that did he realise how obvious it was – of course it was his birthday – but he didn’t particularly care. The ticking of the clock had faded into background noise, and it was hard to believe it had ever annoyed him so much, though it was impossible for him to think of anything negative right now. He was floating on cloud nine.

happy birthday

were running out of arm space

id have to strip to get leg room

wanna gimme ur number?

Okay!!!

They quickly exchanged phone numbers, and Patton immediately grabbed his phone, creating a new contact labelled ‘Remy’ followed by seven colourful hearts – a rainbow of love. But before he could text Remy, Remy texted him first.

REMY:

what time is it for u

Patton glanced at the clock.

PATTON:

Almost 2am

REMY:

same

Realisation struck Patton, and his eyes widened with guilt and concern. He bit his lip, and quickly resumed typing.

PATTON:

Oh my gosh im so sorry!!!! Did I wake you up?

REMY:

nah babe dw bout it

i was already up

i always sleep late

PATTON:

That sounds unhealthy :(

Get some rest!!!

REMY:

ha

u sound like my dads lol

PATTON:

What are they like?

REMY:

my dads?

its just the three of us

their names are logan and thomas and theyre the sappiest motherfuckers on earth

gotta love em tho

theyre gonna be real thrilled when they find out bout u

bet theyll love you right away

wbu  

whats ur fam like

PATTON:

Oh! Well ive got my dad

His name’s Roman

He works in theatre!!! Hes so cool

And I’ve got my older brother Emile hes 22 and hes a therapist

He uses cartoons to help people!!

Hes also got a soulmate his name is Virgil and hes a florist

They got married last year and the wedding was so much fun!!! So many pretty flowers!!!

And I’ve got my uncle Remus hes my dads twin hes a writer and his husband Janus is a lawyer theyre also both so cool!!!

And that’s everyone!!

REMY:

if theyre all as sweet as u sugar then im sure ur all v popular

PATTON:

Well we do have dinner with our neighbours a lot!!!

Mrs Smith gives me lots of candy

Its often stale but I eat it anyway cos shes just so sweet!

Sweeter than her candy lol

Patton’s door suddenly swung open, and he jumped, his phone slipping from his fingers and landing right in his lap. His father, Roman, stepped inside, yawning and rubbing his eyes, wincing at the bright light that hung from the ceiling.

“You still up, Pat?” He asked sleepily.

He squinted, his eyes landing on the still-on phone in Patton’s lap.

“Who are you te- by the glittering horn of a unicorn! Is that writing on your arm?” He sat down, taking Patton’s arm and looking over the words. He then glanced back up at his son, his eyes shining excitedly. “You have a soulmate,” He breathed.

“I do!” Patton exclaimed, bouncing excitedly in place. “His name is Remy and he turns seventeen tomorrow and he’s just so cool!”

Roman beamed. “Wow, I’m so incredibly happy for you, Pat!” He said. Then, he chuckled, his smile turning a little teasing. “But... it’s late, and you really should be sleeping. And I’m betting that Remy should be, too.”

Patton pouted a little. “But it’s a Friday! I don’t have any school tomorrow.”

“But the family’s coming over tomorrow at 10 for your birthday, and I know you. You’re gonna be all grumbly in the morning, instead of our happy-pappy Patton, and that’ll be even worse the less sleep you get.”

Patton drooped, like a little wilting flower, but couldn’t deny that his father was right.

“Okay...” He frowned, picking up his phone, switching off the screen without looking at it, and holding it against his chest. “Can I at least say night to Remy, first?”

Roman smiled. “Sure.”

He leant forward, squeezing Patton’s arm supportively, before pressing a quick kiss to his son’s forehead. Roman gave him one last smile, affectionately ruffling his hair, before pulling back and standing up. He brushed the non-existent dirt from his pyjamas.

“Goodnight, Pat,” He said. “And happy birthday.”

In the excitement that was talking to Remy, Patton had almost forgotten that it was his birthday, and he blinked in surprise as Roman left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

Patton then took a deep breath, before switching his phone back on to see whatever messages he’d missed.

REMY:

u rlly r an angel huh

PATTON:

Awwwww!!

Your making me blush

REMY:

thats the goal babe

PATTON:

Such a flirt!!

REMY:

im gonna be ten times more flirty when i get to see ur pretty face in person

PATTON:

How do you know Im pretty?

You havent even seen me yet

REMY:

i can just tell

im awesome like that

i bet ur the cutest person in the whole damn world

the whole damn universe

but while were on the subject of seeing each other

were waiting to meet naturally right?

PATTON:

Yeah!

Its good luck  

REMY:

yea

PATTON:

Welp!!!

Dad says I gotta go to sleep now!!

Night <3<3<3

REMY:

night xoxox

Patton switched off his phone, placing it on his bedside table and getting off the bed. He wobbled slightly as he stood up, suddenly realising how tired he really was, and quickly walked up to his fairy lights, switching them on before switching off the main light. He then climbed back into bed, settling in the soft nest of pastel pillows and blankets, and his last thought before he fell asleep was of his soulmate.

He barely knew Remy, but he already couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with him.

***

The sound of the alarm from Remy’s phone rang through the room, waking him up suddenly. His immediate reaction was to groan, shutting it off quickly and then returning to the warm comfort of his mattress and pillows and blanket. It was the weekend, he had no plans, so if his dads wanted him up, they could come in and get him up themselves. Remy wanted to sleep.

Then, the memories of the night before flooded back to him, and he shot up in bed, pulling out his arm and staring at it wide-eyed.

The words Patton had written last night had now been washed away – likely to leave room for new words and new conversations – whilst Remy’s words still remained, though now a little smudged and faded. The only sign that Patton’s words had ever been there in the first place was the new word on his wrist, just below his palm, in baby blue, like the ones before.

Morning <3

Remy grinned, jumping out of bed much more enthusiastically than he usually did, grabbing the black pen on his bedside table and rushing to the bathroom, thankfully not bumping into either of his dads on the way there.

He washed his arms as quickly as he could, leaving them a little sore and red, though he didn’t care, and uncapped his pen with his teeth, leaving the lid in his mouth.

mornin

!!!!!

Do you always get up this late?

Remy laughed. The handwriting was a little larger and a little neater than his, and each i was dotted with a heart, which made him even more convinced that his soulmate was probably the cutest person on earth.

what time is it

10:30

later usually

what time did u get up

8:30

oof

i could never

What do you do for school then?

suffer

Remy took the pen lid out of his mouth, pocketing it and twirling the uncapped pen between his fingers, watching as more light blue words appeared on his arm. The sensation was feather-light, barely there, but impossible to ignore.

Aww no!!

I don’t want you to suffer :(

dw babe ive got coffee

life saver

id die without it

100%

Well make sure you don’t drink too much!!!!

Its bad for you!!

dw my dad always tells me that

he keeps an eye on it

Which one?

logan

Okay

There was a brief pause, and Remy almost continued writing, but he got the feeling that Patton wasn’t done, so he just waited patiently, tapping his foot against the tiled bathroom floor.

Do you mind if I doodle on my arms?

I usually do when Im bored but I thought Id ask

I wont if you don’t want me to tho

go ahead

what do u doodle?

I usually just connect my freckles

Like little constellations!!!!

It was impossible to keep the grin on Remy’s face from widening – Patton's enthusiasm was adorable and infectious – and he sat down on the edge of the bathtub, crossing one leg over the other as he pressed his pen to his skin and continued writing.

u got a lot of freckles?

Yup!

Theyre everywhere

everywhere?

Yeah!

hm

one day  

im gonna kiss every single one of your freckles

(Perhaps that was a little bold for only their second conversation, but Remy was a natural flirt, and Patton was his soulmate, after all. He’d back down at any sign of discomfort, but so far Patton had seemed receptive.)

every single one

Thats a lot of kisses

not enough

but itll be a good start

A little, swirly scribble appeared just beside the words Remy had written – the universal key-smash equivalent for soulmates writing on their skin. Just the thought that he was already able to fluster Patton so easily made Remy very, very happy. He grinned.

Gtg! Presents time!

Ill talk to you later <3<3<3

later xoxo

Remy fished the pen lid back out of his pocket, capping the pen and pocketing it. He then strolled back out of the bathroom, down the stairs, and towards the kitchen.

His fathers were both sat at the kitchen table, eating breakfast and talking. Their legs were pressed together under the table, and it was clear they’d just been flirting. Both Logan and Thomas looked up when Remy entered the room, surprised.

“What kind of natural disaster got you up before midday?” Thomas joked.

Remy waved his arm, showing off the writing, and Logan choked on his coffee. Thomas patted his back a few times worriedly, and Remy waited impatiently for the conversation to resume, tapping his foot against the floor.

“Is that what I think it is?” Logan asked incredulously, once he was breathing again.

Remy nodded. “Yup. Can I make coffee?”

Thomas nodded slowly, but it was clear he was much more focused on the previous topic at hand.

“You have a soulmate?” He asked. “Oh my gosh! What’s their name? Aren’t you gonna tell us about them?”

“Well, his name’s Patton,” Remy began, heading towards the coffee machine and immediately getting to work to make himself a large mug. “It’s his birthday today – it was actually, like, 2am, or something – and he’s real cute. I think you’ll both like him.”

Thomas exchanged a look with his husband – the former much more openly thrilled, whilst the latter looked more confused, though undeniably pleased. He then stood up, opening his arms immediately.

“I think this calls for a family hug,” Thomas grinned.

Logan sighed, but put his own coffee mug back down, getting up obediently.

Remy groaned. “Really? Before my coffee? Do I have to?”

“Yup! Right now,” Thomas said, wrapping one arm around Logan’s waist and resting his chin on his head, keeping his other arm outstretched, awaiting their son. “This is a big moment! It calls for a family hug. C’mere.”

“There is no point refusing, Remy,” Logan said dryly. “I learnt that a long time ago.”

“Aww, you love me.”

“Of course. That is why we got married, after all.”

Remy groaned again. “Are you two really flirting, right now? Gross.”

“Well, if you want us to stop flirting, you’re gonna have to join the hug.”

Remy sighed exaggeratedly, dragging his feet as he walked up to his dads, reluctantly joining the family hug. Then, he pulled back as quickly as he could get away with, making a face and turning back to the coffee machine. He quickly made himself a large mug – with excessive amounts of milk and sugar, something his father would usually criticise, though he seemed to turn a blind eye for today.

Remy then sat down at the table, beside Thomas, sipping eagerly at his coffee and leaning back in his chair.

His fathers didn’t take their eyes off of his arm, clearly reading the words, and after about a minute, Remy rolled his eyes, placing the coffee on his table and crossing his arms.

“What are you looking at?”

“Attitude, Remy,” Thomas sighed. “Be nice. And we’re looking at your arm because we’re excited! You have a soulmate, that’s a really big deal! We should celebrate.”

Remy perked up. “Celebrate?”

Logan nodded in agreement. “Perhaps tonight we could have dinner at the Italian place that you like.”

“Ooh, the one with that fancy pasta?”

“Weren’t we planning on going there tomorrow?” Thomas asked his husband.

Remy blinked, surprised. “We were?”

Thomas blinked, and then gave his husband a slightly sheepish smile. “I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that.”

Logan sighed. “Well, I think we can put that off for tomorrow, then. Today... you may invite a few friends over.” Remy opened his mouth, but Logan quickly continued, interrupting him before he could speak. “Three friends, maximum. No parties.”

Remy pouted. “Only three? Lame.”

“If you complain, we’ll bring it down to two.”

“Three sounds great!”

***

Patton picked up his phone, holding it to his ear as he paced casually around his room.

“Emile!” He greeted. “How are you?”

“Happy birthday, Pat!” Emile greeted cheerfully, and Patton could practically hear the usual smile on his face. “And I’m doing great. Virgil invited his brother to dinner yesterday, so that was fun, and I had a real breakthrough with one of my clients, too. You?”

“I’m good! Hey, do you think this counts as Remy and my anniversary? I mean, I know we haven’t actually really met, yet, but it’s been a year since we first spoke, and we are soulmates. Does that count? Would it be weird to count it?”

Emile hummed. “I think that if you want it to count, it counts.”

“That’s a bit vague,” Patton sighed.

Emile laughed. “That’s just how it works, I’m afraid. How is Remy anyway? It’s his birthday tomorrow, right?”

Patton perked up at the opportunity to talk about his soulmate. “Remy’s great! He got a new job at the Starbucks near his house; he’s pretty excited about it. And yup, it’s his birthday tomorrow! He turns eighteen. It’s a funny coincidence, isn’t it? That our birthdays are so close?”

“It’s actually a lot more common for soulmates to have these similarities than you’d think,” Emile said. “Close birthdays, close locations, things like that. I mean, Virgil and I were both born in the same hospital.”

“Really? Oh, that’s cool!” Patton smiled.

He sat down on his bed, pulling his legs up to sit cross-legged, and moving so his back was against the wall, half-sitting on one of his pillows.

“Yup! I’ve researched a lot about these things,” Emile said. “And- oh, Virgil, there you are!”

Patton heard rustling on the other end of the line, like Emile was temporarily putting his phone down, probably to greet and kiss his husband. He waited patiently, humming a song from the Steven Universe movie and drumming his fingers against his leg. His eyes scanned the various words written across his arms. Shiny black and glittery light blue. There were doodles, too – lines connecting the dots of his freckles, done by himself, and little stars and moons and hearts by Remy.

Then the rustling resumed, more movement, and Patton stopped humming.

“Morning, Pat,” Virgil greeted.

Patton smiled. “Virgil! How’s work going?”

“Not bad. I helped a guy arrange a hate-bouquet for his ex-boyfriend yesterday, so that was fun.”

“Sounds interesting!”

Virgil hummed in agreement, and it sounded like he was nodding. “I’m gonna hand the phone back to Emile, now. Happy birthday, kid.”

“Thanks!”

There was another moment of rustling, and then Emile returned.

“Okay, Virgil and I have to get to work,” Emile said. “We’re stopping by later for dinner, dad already knows. And, before you ask, no I will not tell you what your gift is, you’re gonna have to wait and see.”

Patton pouted. “Aww, okay. Bye!”

“Bye!”

Patton hung up the phone, before switching over to the texting app, and opening up his conversation with Remy.

PATTON

Hey im running out of space

So im gonna clean my arm

Can you too?

Remy responded almost immediately, as he usually did.

REMY

sure

one sec

Patton smiled, getting up and pocketing his phone. He headed over to the bathroom, quickly scrubbing away the words on his arms (he could leave the ones still remaining on his legs and torso, for now), and watching as Remy’s words disappeared at about the same time.

He then returned to his bedroom, sitting back down on his bed and fetching and uncapping his favourite pen.

The moment the tip of his pen touched his skin, a small black dot appeared just below it, like Remy was doing the exact same on his side – unintentionally trying to write in unison. All of a sudden, a wave of peace and happiness washed over Patton, but the emotions didn’t come from within himself. No, they came from an outside source, from somewhere else. Not from him.

From Remy.

At first, Patton was confused, disoriented, and then his heart skipped a beat, and he lifted his pen from his wrist.

The feeling stopped.

He then returned the pen to his wrist, creating another dot of light blue ink. For a moment, nothing happened, the feeling didn’t return, but then a small black speck appeared just beside his.

This time, the happiness was joined by an almost cautious excitement, tinged with something else.

What was it?

Love?

Love.

It felt like Patton was loving himself, except the love came from elsewhere, it came from Remy. Like a warm, comfortable blanket of love, wrapping around him and keeping him safe.

Patton beamed, wide and toothy and delighted, leaning back against the pillows and practically wiggling with excitement, careful to keep his pen tip on his wrist. A similar, thrilled feeling came back at him, and Patton quickly realised that whatever feelings he was getting from Remy, Remy was probably getting some very similar feelings in return from him.

damn babe

either something v weird is happening to me or thats ur feelings im feeling

I can feel it too!!!

Oh my gosh!

good i was worried i might be drunk

Have you been drinking?

nah thats why i was worried lmao

would be v weird to be drunk with no booze

Well that sure would be unusual!

The feelings from Remy weren’t constant, they only surfaced when both Patton and Remy were writing at once – flashes of emotions that were practically addicting. He wanted to keep feeling those feelings forever.

this is v weird

on and off

think itll get more constant the more we talk?

like we wont need to be both writing at the same time to feel it or smth?

Yeah!

I think so

Thats what happened with Em and Virge at least

cool

cant wait

There was a brief pause, and then Remy’s writing resumed.

can we doodle?

might make the empathy connection thingy better

Sure!

Patton giggled, unable to help himself, before pressing the tip of his pen to one of his freckles and drawing a thin line from it to another. Then another and another and another. Over and around the written words. He wasn’t making any specific shape or pattern in particular, just connecting the numerous dots. As he did this, Patton felt new shapes and doodles appearing on his legs, though he couldn’t see them through his trousers. Hearts and stars and moons and pawprints, most likely. The last one was new – Patton’s favourite.

He could feel Remy’s peace and contentment and love (love, love), like it was flowing through the air and seeping through his skin, filling him with happiness. Sometimes, it even increased for a brief moment, usually just after Patton’s happiness bubbled over into delighted giggles. It was a cycle – happiness creating happiness creating happiness.

Patton loved Remy. Remy loved Patton.

Love. Love. Love.

***

“Hey, Remy!”

Remy glanced up from his phone, straightening up as noticed and watched his best friend, Toby, approaching him. His foot tapped impatiently against the pavement, and his sunglasses were on to shield his eyes from bright midday sun.

“Gurl, what was taking you so long?” Remy complained, stuffing his phone into his pocket and crossing his arms, practically pouting. “I’ve been waiting here for, like, hours.”

Toby gave him a dry look. “I’m ten minutes late.”

“And that’s, like, ten hours in gay-and-in-a-hurry time.”

“In a hurry? What the hell are we even doing? Your text was very vague.”

“Well, it’s my dad’s birthday in a-”

“Which one?”

“Thomas. Bitch, stop interrupting me.”

Toby laughed, and Remy glared at him. He held his hands up defensively in mock surrender, and then gestured for Remy to continue.

“Anyway, it’s my dad’s birthday on Sunday and I’m supposed to get him a gift. I dunno what, though, so you’re gonna help me.”

“I’m pretty sure you know him better than I do.”

Remy shushed him. “Gurl, I am not letting you get out of helping me. So, we’re going to-”

He suddenly froze, going silent. Remy’s brow then creased, too, and after a moment of stillness he began to rapidly pat his arms and legs, like he was looking for something, though he didn’t seem to find it. Toby gave him a bewildered look.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“I can feel Patton’s emotions,” Remy said.

He could, but only barely – just little hints of Patton, pricking the edges of his soul – much less than he was used to, but still impossible to ignore. He was used to these feelings by now, always recognising them immediately, though this time it was... different.

“Okay... so, he’s writing to you? Isn’t that normal?”

Remy looked back at him, looking just as confused as Toby. “No, he isn’t. He isn’t writing to me. No ink.”

“He... isn’t?”

“I can always feel it,” Remy explained. “Always. But not right now. Why... why-” He froze, his eyes widening behind his dark sunglasses.  

“What?”

“He must be close. He must- oh my god, he must be close!” Remy looked around quickly, at all of the surrounding pedestrians. None of them looked right – none of them were Patton – but he could practically sense him. He was so close.

Toby blinked. “Really?” He asked incredulously.

“Yes. Yes, really. I know what I’m talking about!” Remy exclaimed, perhaps a little harsher than intended. “The empath shit only happens when you write or when you’re close. Gurl, that’s, like, common knowledge.”

Toby held his hands up. “Right, uh... sorry.” He cleared his throat. “So, how are we gonna find him?”

Remy’s brow scrunched up in thought. “I don’t know.”

His best friend shrugged, even more lost than he was.

“Maybe... maybe...” Remy continued, trailing off, before he suddenly straightened up. “It’ll get stronger the closer I get to him, so I just have to follow where it’s stronger, right? Like... like getting warmer and colder.”

Toby nodded slowly. “That makes sense. So, uh, walk around, and we’ll go in the direction that makes it stronger.”

Remy immediately began to pace in circles around Toby, pulling a slightly panicked face when at one point the feeling completely disappeared. Then, it got stronger, a wave of anticipation and curiosity, nervousness and excitement.

It suddenly hit Remy that if he could feel Patton, then Patton could feel him, too.

Patton was probably looking for him.

The corners of Remy’s lips twitched up into a smile. He was practically oozing excitement, and it was contagious, as Patton’s also seemed to increase – even Toby began smiling, too.

Toby patted him on the shoulder.

“Go on, follow your gut. I’ll be right behind you.”

Remy immediately turned on his heel, sprinting in the direction the emotions seemed to be coming from, and Toby almost tripped over his own feet following him. The empathy got stronger and stronger and stronger with every step, until it was even stronger than it usually was, and as his excitement further increased, so did Patton’s.

He rounded a corner, and immediately ran right into someone running at a similar speed, and they both tumbled to the ground with two loud thumps.

“Ah, fuck,” Remy groaned, closing his eyes and massaging the bridge of his nose as a jolt of pain shot down his leg.

“Oof,” The other boy winced.

His voice was like a bell, ringing through the air: suddenly the only sound that Remy could hear.

That was when Remy realised that Patton’s emotions were now equal to his own – mixing together in Remy’s soul until they were one and the same. It was almost like they were thinking and feeling as one, which was rather disorienting, to say the least.  

Patton... Patton was right in front of him.

Remy opened his eyes, immediately coming face-to-face with the most gorgeous person he had even seen – a wide-eyed and freckled boy, about a year younger than Remy, staring back at him with parted lips and an equally startled expression. He was wearing a blue and grey t-shirt, showing off his arms and the words Remy had written to him today, and all the constellations he’d doodled on his own skin. Now, Remy could see the stars that he’d been missing, and, in his opinion, they were even better than the ones in the night sky.

Patton.

Patton, Patton, Patton.

“Patton,” Remy breathed.

“Remy.”

Remy laughed, uncontrolled and loud and delighted, sitting up straight and taking Patton’s hand in his own, squeezing it. It was warm and soft, Remy never wanted to let go, and when Patton squeezed back, he felt... complete. Perfect. Heaven.

Patton smiled – like a shining sun, one that thankfully didn’t hurt to look at, as Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of it.

“Wow,” Remy laughed. “You’re... wow.”

“Wow,” Patton echoed.

People were probably staring at them – Toby included – but Remy couldn’t take his eyes off of Patton to check. Patton seemed to be doing similarly, his eyes slowly taking in every part of Remy’s body, before returning to his face, staring into his eyes.

Patton’s eyes were brown, like honey in the sunlight. Beautiful.

“It’s... it’s nice to finally meet you,” Patton said softly.

“Likewise.”

There was a beat.

“You are gorgeous,” Remy continued, the words coming out before he could stop himself. He almost regretted blurting it out, but then Patton’s face turned a particularly pretty shade of pink, and Remy immediately grinned.

Patton squeezed his hand. “You, too.”

“Oh, I know I’m hot, babe,” Remy said, making Patton giggle. “But you, you’re... you’re an angel. Like, damn, how the hell did I get so lucky? I must’ve done something really freaking amazing in a past life to have deserved you.”

“You’re even more of a flirt in person,” Patton smiled, a little teasingly.

Remy laughed. “I mean, I’m pretty sure I warned you.”

“You did,” Patton said, smiling fondly.

“Is it too soon to ask if I can kiss you?” Remy asked suddenly. His tone of voice was casual, like he was joking, but they both knew – Patton could probably sense – that he was serious.

Patton didn’t hesitate, answering quickly. “No. I mean, yes. I mean... no, it’s not too soon. Please?”

Remy didn’t waste any time, reaching forward, carefully cradling Patton’s face in his hand and kissing him gently. His lips were soft and warm and Remy never wanted to stop kissing him. Patton covered Remy’s hand with his own free one, kissing back a little clumsily, though it was without a doubt enthusiastic.

Then, he got a little too enthusiastic, and Remy tumbled backwards, pulling Patton along with him.

They broke apart, and after a moment of startled – slightly awkward – silence, they both started laughing loudly, and Patton climbed off of him. He finally stood up, holding out his hand and helping Remy up, too.

The pedestrians that had been watching them had mostly all moved on by now, leaving only Toby hovering awkwardly nearby. He had his phone out, trying to distract himself, give them some privacy, though he was undeniably still keeping an eye out. It wasn’t every day you saw a soulmate pair’s first meeting.  

Remy took Patton’s hands in his own, looking him over again and again and again.

An idea came to him – not a new one, one he’d thought about and talked about and dreamed and daydreamed about a million times – and he grinned in a way that he could feel made Patton’s heart skip a beat.

“Remember how I said I wanted to kiss every freckle?"

[lov3nerdstuff]

Voluptas Noctis Aeternae {Part 5.3}

*Severus Snape x OC*

Summary: It is the year 1983 when the ordinary life of Robin Mitchell takes a drastic turn: she is accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Despite the struggles of being a muggle-born in Slytherin, she soon discovers her passion for Potions, and even manages the impossible: gaining the favor of Severus Snape. Throughout the years, Robin finds that the not quite so ordinary Potions Professor goes from being a brooding stranger to being more than she had ever deemed possible. An ally, a mentor, a friend... and eventually, the person she loves the most. Through adventure, prophecies and the little struggles of daily life in a castle full of mysteries, Robin chooses a path for herself, an unlikely friendship blossoms into something more, and two people abandoned by the world can finally find a home.

General warnings: professor x student, blood, violence, trauma, neglectful families, bullying, cursing

Words: 4.8k

Read Part 1.1 here! All Parts can be found on the Masterlist!

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Robin woke up to her alarm the next morning, bright and early as usual. Or so she thought, at least, until she saw the brightly grinning faces of her two roommates right above her. With a groan, she closed her eyes for another second.

"What time is it?" She managed to mumble into her pillow, and finally blinked up at the two girls who had now taken residence on the far end of her bed.

"Six thirty." Cas replied happily, and Robin groaned again.

"You've officially stolen half an hour of my sleep." She sighed as she turned onto her back and then sat up with a very much tired face and an even more tired mind. "Half an hour might not sound like a lot to you, but it is when one's up with Snape all night." The two girls merely giggled at Robin's admittedly thoughtless statement, and thus made her groan again as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "You know perfectly well what I mean! Working until god knows when is bloody exhausting…"

When her mind finally was somewhere near awake and her eyes also able to actually see beyond a blurry sheen, she noticed that both girls were still sitting at the end of her bed with grinning faces. "What's even going on that you actually dare to wake me up?"

Both girls exchanged a mysterious look, then Jorien placed a small, neatly wrapped present in Robin's lap. "Happy birthday!!!" Cas said at the same time and both girls started grinning again like they had won the lottery.

For a moment, Robin felt shocked, then confused, and finally very much overwhelmed. "It's… it's the twentieth already?"

"Obviously." Jorien shrugged with a smile, and Robin was determined that the girl had picked up that habit from her and not from Snape. It might still originate from him, but she took too much pride in being a role model to blame it all on him.

"Wow…" Robin finally breathed with a smile, looking first at the present, then at the two girls. "Thank you, both of you. It's been quite a while since anyone has congratulated me on my birthday."

"What?!" Cas replied immediately, with a deep frown on her face. "You mean besides your family and friends, right?"

"No, I mean in general." Robin shrugged, but her smile stayed. This was actually making her happier than she had expected, and there was nothing that could take that from her now. "My parents don't celebrate birthdays, and I don't have any other family or friends who would have thought of it."

"That's cruel of them." Jorien said quietly and her smile turned into a smaller, sadder one. "I'm very sorry that they don't appreciate you like we do. Because we really do. Appreciate you, I mean. As a roommate, and a tutor and a friend."

"Yeah, I absolutely agree!" Cas added with an almost exasperated face. "Does that mean you also didn't get any presents in the last years?!"

Jorien rolled her eyes at her friend and shoved her to the side, which made Robin chuckle. They were so different in the way they were similar and yet they were best friends. It was truly admirable.

"No, I haven't gotten a present in a while." Robin admitted, and immediately had to think of the piece of the book page Snape had given to her a few Christmases ago. It hadn't really been a present, but she still carried it in her locket and treated it as such. She wouldn't tell her roommates that though. "But I'm very excited to see what you have gotten me. May I open it, or do you want me to wait?"

"Open it up already! I wanna see if you like it." Cas grinned immediately and both girls watched attentively as Robin untied the green bow and unwrapped the paper to reveal a small box. Gosh, she hadn't unwrapped a present in ages… the excitement of it was actually quite delightful.

"You've gotten me a box?" Robin teased them with a feigned frown, and both girls rolled their eyes as they laughed nonetheless. With an equally excited smile, Robin opened the lid and her gaze fell onto a seemingly tangled pile of different materials. Upon a closer inspection, she discovered that it actually was three bracelets which she picked up out of the box one by one. The first was made of dark green and black fabric, like a friendship bracelet, but with a more intricate pattern.

"I made it myself. We thought that black and green are the house colors, but you also wear them a lot, so… you must like them too." Cas grinned happily a second later, giving an explanation for the piece.

"It's perfect. Thank you." Robin replied and tied it around her wrist with a smile.

The second bracelet she went to inspect was made out of black string as well, but it wasn't knotted and instead held together tiny, round shells in a row.

"I… made that one." Jorien said once Robin went to put it on as well. "The shells come from the black lake. They're the smallest ones Professor Sprout could think of that I could gather without going for a dive."

"That's amazing, I cannot believe you guys went through so much effort just for me." Robin smiled at both of them in as much gratitude as she could consciously come up with, but she also still felt quite overwhelmed. If it wasn't for her wish to let the girls know just how thankful she felt for their present, she probably just would've shut off her outside display of emotions entirely to focus on the joy on the inside. It was an odd situation to be given a present like that after all, especially one that actually had thought in it.

"You haven't looked at the third one yet!" Cas smirked mischievously, and that sufficed to make Robin smile in all honesty despite the overflow of emotions already running through her brain.

The third bracelet in the box wasn't self-made like the other two, but consisted of a rather sturdy chain with something that upon first sight looked like a metal coin in the middle. Yet, once Robin took the piece of jewelry out of the box, she realized that it wasn't actually a coin, but an ornamented emblem. The very same one as on her locket, and obviously just as ancient. Robin's lips parted as she stared at the delicate piece of jewelry in her hand, then at the two girls on her bed.

"Where did you find this? How?" She asked in surprise, and a hint of wonder. "I mean… I didn't even know you knew of my locket."

"What locket?" Cas asked in mild confusion that immediately got Robin to frown as well. Jorien however shoved Cas in the side once more and gave her a pointed glare.

"This locket." Robin pulled her necklace over her Queen t-shirt, and both girls leaned forward to take a look at it. "You didn't even know I had this?"

"Uh…" Cas gave Jorien an insecure look, who rolled her eyes in return but mentioned for her friend to just go ahead already, which the blond girl did in an instant. "No, we uh… we actually didn't know that you had a locket with the same emblem."

"Either this is the biggest coincidence in the history of coincidences then, or you're not telling me everything." Robin gave them a pointed look, but it was accompanied by a smile. They hadn't done anything wrong after all, but she knew that they weren't telling her the whole story. And Robin was desperately curious.

"You see, this-..." Cas started, but she didn't get far at all.

"We're not supposed to tell her!" Jorien sighed even though she seemed rather unhappy about it herself.

"It's her birthday, I don't care that we're not supposed to tell her!" Cas complained and rolled her eyes at her friend. "With whom does your loyalty lie?!"

"With Robin, obviously!" Jorien frowned in return, and sighed. "Alright… do tell her then."

"I am listening." Robin replied in amusement, and went to clasp the third bracelet around her wrist as well. She had never been one to wear a lot of jewelry, but she had the feeling that she would keep wearing these three pieces just like she had done with the locket. They all were meaningful, even if she still had to unveil the meaning of this last band.

"As I was saying, this third bracelet just… appeared one day. I mean, Jorien found it on her bed a few weeks ago, wrapped in a piece of parchment with a note on it." Cas shrugged. "We have no idea who it's from; we've been trying to guess for weeks now, but with no result. It must've been one of the Slytherins though, if they got in here."

"That's interesting indeed… What made you decide to give it to me instead of keeping it for yourself?" Robin inquired and placed the now empty box and the wrapping paper on her nightstand to cross her legs under the covers like the two others did on top.

"The note was very precise about it being for you and for nobody else." Jorien replied with an equally clueless look. "It actually was what made us aware of when your birthday is in the first place."

"Ah, I was wondering how you knew that it was today anyway. I can't remember telling you about it." Robin smiled. "Do you still have the note? Maybe I can shed some light on your mystery."

Cas jumped off the bed immediately, even before Jorien could, and dug through the drawer of the nightstand next to the only empty bed. It had turned into somewhat of a common ground, but more so for the two younger girls than for Robin. She was quite content with the space she had to herself. Half a minute later, Cas returned and dropped down on the bed again, causing the mattress to bounce up and down while she handed Robin the note.

"Well, let's see…" She mused, and unfolded the paper with a very prominent idea about its origin in mind already that she only hoped to confirm now. And she could, without any doubt, as her eyes scanned the uncharacteristically neat but still very much familiar scrawled handwriting. Her lips curled into the widest smile as she read.

Robin's birthday is on the 20th of October. Make sure that she feels cared for on this day, you certainly will agree with me that she deserves that much at the very least. Ensure that she receives the object accompanying this note, it is meant for her alone. Please do not tell her about my involvement, it isn't of importance.

That was all it said. Robin looked up from the note towards her roommates, who were now looking both hopeful and a little nervous. Her smile dimmed down at their mixed expressions. "Why are you two looking so worried?"

"I don't want you to feel less appreciated just because someone else told us they care for you too and want you to have a nice day." Jorien shrugged, and Cas nodded. "We didn't give you a present because we felt like we had to, but because we honestly do care for you a lot! You know that, right?"

"Of course I know!" Robin smiled at them encouragingly, and hopefully somewhat reassuringly too. "And I'm very grateful for the gesture, VERY happy about your amazing present and I do feel very much cared for. This already is the best birthday ever, thanks to my three favorite people."

"Even though our presents can't keep up with the fancy one?" Cas asked with a doubtful frown, and Robin wanted to sigh at their worry. If only they could understand how much she appreciated them indeed, not for their presents but for their effort.

"They all hold a different meaning to me, but I adore all three of them just the same." She replied truthfully. "You know I never lie, so you might as well believe me."

"True…" Cas' frown turned into a small smile. "And after all, they actually look pretty great together!"

Robin looked at her newly decorated wrist and smiled as she traced each of her three gifts with her fingers. "I have to agree, they do fit together rather lovely."

"I'm really glad you think so, Jorien was being very annoying about it all fitting together." Cas teased, and earned herself another shove from her friend and a chuckle from Robin.

"So, do you have any idea who the note and the bracelet might be from?" Jorien asked while Cas still tried to shove her back, but seeing as she failed to do so she also chose to listen instead.

"I believe I know who they are from indeed." The wide smile returned to Robin's face, and the flutter to her heart.

"And?!" Both girls asked at once, while their curiosity was tangible in the entire room.

"It's from my best friend." Robin's smile turned into a sheepish grin, which she directed down at her hands in her lap though. Saying this felt both very much right and yet wrong at the same time. He was her best friend, undeniably and undoubtedly, but also the person she had been crushing on for well over a year now. If crushing even was still the appropriate term for it. And to him, she was neither of that. Which was absolutely fine, really, she wasn't complaining, not even to herself. It just made her feel a little bit weird to consider someone her best friend who maybe, if she was lucky, barely even considered her bearable in return at all. Not nearly weird enough to let it tone down her smile however.

"And… your best friend couldn't just give you a birthday present in person?" Cas inquired in her usual doubtful tone, giving Robin a questioning look along with it.

"Not this one, no." Robin chuckled. "His present isn't that bracelet, that's another issue entirely. It's getting you two idiots to make my birthday the happiest in years."

"Hey!" Cas protested with a laugh. "We're not idiots!"

"To him, pretty much everyone is an idiot." Robin shrugged with a smirk. "Even me."

"Sounds like he would get along really well with Professor Snape."

Robin couldn't help laughing at that. "Actually, I believe they don't like each other all that much." That was only true, really. The many faces of that man didn't always go hand in hand with each other, and Robin had seen them in conflict often enough. Over time it had gotten significantly less frequent however, especially around her, and especially when they were alone.

"Well, let's do what your friend wants us to do then!" Jorien declared, and finally shoved Cas off the bed entirely, with a smirk on her face. "Let's make your birthday the happiest in years."

… … …

Instead of going to the great hall for breakfast as always, Jorien and Cas led Robin to the kitchens with those same mischievous smiles that made Robin shake her head but follow them anyway. As it seemed, Robin enjoyed an impeccable reputation among the house elves ever since she had given Buttercup the Twirl and the 'order' to share it with her fellows, and thus the kitchen staff had been more than happy to comply to the two young girls' request to make Robin a special breakfast for the occasion. She ate by herself though, as Cas and Jorien wanted her to enjoy her alone time before the school day and retreated to the great hall themselves, leaving Robin sitting at a small table in the kitchens. In all honesty, Robin dearly appreciated eating without a couple hundred people in a noisy hall for once, and made sure the girls knew that she was very thankful for the lovely morning before she was left alone at last.

The day of classes went by like any other from that point on: her housemates as well as most of her classmates ignored her, the professors on the other hand were as usual very nice (with the exception of Professor Morgan, who had been trying to find reasons to mock or scold Robin throughout the entire last year already and obviously continued to do so this term as well) and Robin hurried even more to finish all homework and assignments before the evening. She wanted to focus on getting the Plangentine tonight, hopefully while Snape was still doing his paperwork, so that they could maybe get started on the potion tonight already instead of tomorrow. It really was a happy birthday she was having, and from time to time throughout the day she peered down at the three bracelets around her wrist and smiled to herself with a soaring heart and the knowledge that at least three people in this world cared about her. In some way or the other. That was the best present she had ever received, immaterial and invaluable.

The next surprise of the day came shortly before dinner. It was still a little while until the meal would actually be served, but Robin had arrived early to do some homework beforehand, and thus she found herself sitting at the very end of the Slytherin table when she heard a not so quiet 'psst' from the head table, followed by Hagrid waving her over once she looked up.

With a half smile and a frown, Robin left her things at her own table and walked up to the head table rather awkwardly. A few professors were there already, others still absent, but it made Robin feel a little weird to walk up front like this, even if Hagrid wasn't a professor, technically. Quickly, Robin moved around to the side of the table where he was sitting, so that at least she didn't have to stand in between the head table and the students' tables in the open space but rather between the teachers' chairs and the large window.

"Ey! 'appy birthday to ya, Robin!" Hagrid cheered once she stood in front of him, and Robin let out a quiet laugh in return as he wrapped her into a bear hug. Hugs were a rare thing, and she appreciated them whenever she could.

"Thank you, that's very kind of you." She replied with a happy smile and just a subtle heat creeping up her neck once she was released from his grasp. She could only guess how he had come to know about her birthday…

"Couldn't very well forget me best helper I ever had, eh?" He grinned, and pulled a large black feather out of the depths of his heavy coat. "Got somethin' for ya… Isn't the prettiest thing, a feather of a hippogriff, but the most ridiculous prices on the black market these things have! Must be good for somethin' then, I guess… You will know what to do with it, with all ya book smarts."

Robin carefully took the large feather out of his equally large hand, and brushed over the delicate object with gentle fingers in a moment of awe. "Wow, this is absolutely amazing. Thank you! These are hard to come by, because almost no hippogriff wants to part from them willingly and they only lose them very rarely… But they have a very wide range of uses indeed! It's a very valuable gift, are you certain you want me to have it?"

"Aye! Got me an entire box of these, hardly ever had much use for them though… Don't tell anyone I said that, will ya?" He gave Robin one of those funny regretful expressions, and she had to chuckle at the sight.

"I won't tell anyone about your stash, I promise." She replied with a wide smile, and held the feather to her chest in a protective gesture. It would soon join her other precious items inside her locket.

"Ah, Miss Mitchell!" Now it was Professor Sprout's voice that made Robin turn around, just as the herbology professor came walking over to take the seat next to the gamekeeper. "Happy birthday, I hope you had a pleasant day, dear."

"Thank you, professor. I had a lovely day, actually." Robin replied with a smile, and moved out of the way so the woman could take her seat. Honestly, who else knew that it was her birthday?! Throughout the day, neither Flitwick nor Trelawney nor Morgan had known, or simply not cared, and the students obviously shared either of those sentiments as well. Maybe she should just ask them? Would it be rude? But then again… both persons in front of her already knew that she was direct sometimes.

"If I may ask, how come you two are even aware that it's my birthday?" She asked curiously, keeping her tone polite and respectful though.

Hagrid nodded his head towards the herbology professor with a smile directed at Robin, and she understood where his information had come from. That still left her wondering how Professor Sprout had learned of it though.

"I believe Professor Dumbledore himself mentioned it to me this morning." The woman shrugged with a smile, and then frowned at Robin. "Usually I notice things like this when students talk about it in class… However I believe I wasn't aware of your birthday before today."

"My birthday wasn't an actual event until today." Robin shrugged as well, and realized that her statement probably didn't make all too much sense to them without context, but she also didn't feel like providing any. "Anyway, I'm very happy that you two thought of me. It really means a lot. But perhaps I better get back to my table, I wouldn't want to bother you. And dinner should start any moment now."

With another few polite words, Robin said goodbye to Sprout and Hagrid, wishing them a nice evening, and then made her way back towards her own place. Just as she rounded the side of the head table however, the small side door flew open and Robin almost ran into the headmaster himself.

"Oh, my apologies, sir!" She brought out immediately, the surprise making her voice a bit more shallow than normal. "I… should've looked where I'm going."

"All is well, Miss Mitchell." He smiled that small, kind smile again and Robin couldn't help wondering if it was honest or not. If it was a facade, it was a brilliant one. "I see you received a new feather for your birthday, yes?"

Oh bloody hell, he knew too?! Right. Sprout had said he'd told her in the first place. "Yes, Hagrid was very gracious and gifted me the feather of a hippogriff. It's not a feather for writing, but… you probably knew that already. Sorry."

"If you allow me the question, what do you plan to do with it? I'm curious."

"I will store it where I keep all things of value to me, until the time comes when I need it. Hidden away in a locket." She replied honestly, and wondered where this was going. It didn't sound like mere curiosity to her.

"A feather in a locket?" The old man raised his eyebrows at Robin in genuine interest, which made her wonder even more what the actual intention behind his questioning was.

Unlike the last time she had meant to show someone the piece of jewelry, which she still had a very vivid memory of, she actually unclasped the necklace first and then held it out to the professor in front of her. "It's charmed. There's a lot of space in there, and it's the safest place I know."

Dumbledore took the piece of jewelry out of her hand, but his gaze also flickered to the bracelets on her wrist for a broken second before returning to the locket. After a moment of carefully studying the object, he returned it to Robin with a smile. "A beautiful piece. But you see, I wasn't quite frank with you in my questions' intention."

"I realized." She replied rather flatly before she could stop herself, but also refused to apologise.

"Did you? I should have known." His smile changed into a slightly more honest one. "I see you also possess the bracelet to match."

"It was gifted to me today, but I've had the locket for far longer."

"Ever since… Professor Snape came to me with the request to remove the bracelet from the room of hidden things, I have been wondering why he had an interest in taking it. I assume he knew you possessed the matching piece, then?"

"I wear it every day, it's no secret, really." Robin shrugged, and tried to push the images of Snape and herself in the close proximity of him inspecting the emblem on her locket back in the room of hidden things out of her mind. "May I ask, why did he come to you before removing something from the room though?"

"The objects in the room of hidden things are, ultimately, school property. As such, it is for the headmaster to decide whether they may change hands if their provenance can no longer be ascertained."

"Interesting." Robin mused and frowned to herself for a moment. "So you cannot determine who the owner of the bracelet is?"

"I could not, which is why I left it to Severus. And seeing as he gave it to you, that would make you the rightful owner now." Dumbledore smiled again so very mildly, but his eyes were almost uncomfortably probing. He obviously didn't understand.

"You might be interested to know that… Professor Snape didn't actually give it to me as a gift, but rather ensured that I received it without being aware of his involvement." Robin stated then, in an attempt to make this entire thing sound more appropriate than it probably looked. She didn't want Snape to get into trouble… especially not for something that nobody but them could possibly understand correctly. "Most likely seems that he was merely trying to assist my roommates in finding a present for me, seeing as they couldn't acquire one elsewhere." That would have been a straight out lie, had it been phrased any differently. But it really did seem most likely, even if Robin knew that it wasn't the truth.

"I must admit I was under the impression that Severus had given it to you as a gift indeed." Dumbledore mused as he frowned to himself, and Robin felt the heat rising to her face at his disappointed tone. In the end, Snape had given it to her as a gift, even if indirectly… even if he didn't want her to know, and even if she didn't want anyone else to know in return.

Before Robin could give a reply she was yet to think of anyway, the door behind Dumbledore was opened once again, and the very man in question almost ran into the headmaster's back. With an irritated scowl, Snape moved around them though, and his frown only deepened when he saw Robin as well.

"Ah, Severus, just in time for dinner!" Dumbledore smiled at him like he had smiled at Robin moments before, and every trace of his previous frown or surprise was gone for good. His facades really were impeccable. "I was just wishing Miss Mitchell the happiest of birthdays, actually. You are aware that it's her birthday today, aren't you, Severus?"

"Yes." Snape replied tersely, and Robin couldn't help wondering why Dumbledore was messing with him like this now. Were these two something like friends? Or did he have another motive? Oh well… who could fathom what the headmaster was up to at any point anyway?

"I, uh… I better sit back down for dinner now." Robin stated a little awkwardly, clasping the locket in one hand and the feather in the other. "If you would excuse me, headmaster…" She gave a courteous little nod to Dumbledore, then turned to Snape with an attempt at a half smile. "I'll see you after dinner?"

"Obviously."

Without spending another second in this awkward situation, Robin skipped down the few steps in front of the head table and sat back down where her things had been pushed together by some other students who had taken their places by now. Geez, that had been surprisingly uncomfortable; Snape wasn't an issue she wanted to discuss with anyone at all, and especially not with Professor Dumbledore. Even if he had reacted surprisingly bemused by the entire ordeal. Robin shook her head to herself as she put the feather into the locket at last, then tied it back around her neck just as dinner was served.

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[theouterbankpogues]

after sarah doesn’t invite kiara to her birthday party (a jj x kiara fic)

author : theouterbankpogues aka vi

fandom : jj x kie, jiara | outer banks on netflix

tags : the angst, the fluff, the hurt, the comfort y’know!!

warnings : none

i love writing for this ship bc it has a chokehold on me and i just... i’m so helpless lmao. i read this hc set by @lemon-patches​ (which you should definitely go and read bc it’s amazing and all the feelings) and it talked about how jj and ki were each other’s first kiss and no one else knows. this is basically how i imagine it happened. enjoy!! as always the validation feeds me so yeah if you like it pls share it and stuff (i love reading tags on reblogs so lmao do with that what u will). i imagine they are 15/16, about 6-8 months before s1 idk if that adds up but lol thats what i went with. sorry for any errors u may find xx

a little preview so u know what you’re getting into hehe: “They stood like that for a while, long and quiet breaths synced, arms entangled in waist and shoulders, hearts rhythmically beating, just enjoying the warmth of the best friend they dearly missed.”

Tears streamed down Kiara’s face. She knew that calling the cops was petty, she knew it was the worst of her manifesting itself, but tonight Ki couldn’t bring herself to care. She found herself toppling some books off of her bookshelf. She had always known that she wasn’t good enough for Sarah. The Sarah Cameron. God, she felt so stupid.

Another wave of regret coursed through her. The pit of her stomach hollowed when she re-remembered that she’d actually listened to her parents and decided to give her kook year a genuine try. She had distanced herself from the cut and the pogues, her best friends, the people that she could always count on, the people who always cared. She gave it all up for the superficial bullshit she knew would eventually fall apart.

That entire evening, the anger and regret approached her in harsh and unforgiving turns. She couldn’t escape her own thoughts, she was so mad at herself. She had let herself become vulnerable, given herself up for someone to use and dispose. She felt so weak. All she really wanted to do was fit in, to have a normal year where she wasn’t disappointing her parents, where she wasn’t out at unreasonable hours getting her friends out of messes, watching their string of luck grow thinner and thinner with every prank and practical joke. She was tired of being the middle between the kooks and pogues, she loved the latter and she could’t escape the part of her that was the former. She just wanted to resign to one side, she just wanted things to get easier. Kiara had decided to leave everything for some peace of mind, and now she knew she’d made a mistake. She hadn’t even checked in with John B, his dad was missing and she hadn’t even checked in with him. God, she felt so stupid. Her sobs overtook her as she sat at her bed.

She was so exhausted from the crying she could scream, it had been a few long hours. And Ki, in a moment of clarity, convinced herself that she was too strong for that. Even though she felt horrible, she reminded herself that she was too careful to let this anger get the best of her. Instead, she resorted to taking a few deep breaths and cleaning up the various books and stationary strewn across her bedroom floor as a remnant of her anger. What had happened had happened, she was just going to have to figure out how to cope on her own.

Yeah, I just have to figure it out on my own. I’ll be fine.

That’s when she heard it.

Thud.

Thud. Thud.

Thud.

‘What the-’

She realised that the sound was coming from her window. Stepping toward the side of her room facing the balcony, she realised that pebbles were currently being thrown at her window by a silhouette below it. She couldn’t tell who it was because the backdoor lights had been switched off for the night. It was well past midnight and her parents were soundly sleeping in the next room, she swore she would never forgive the person currently trying to break her window if they woke up. She didn’t want anyone to see her as the mess she was right now. So as quickly and as safely as Kiara could, she opened the balcony window, “What the actual— JJ? JJ is that you?” Kiara couldn’t really understand what was going on, she had stopped talking to the pogues months ago.

“Yeah, hey Ki! Come down!”

“What?”

“You heard me bro, get dressed and come down!”

After a curt nod, she went back into her room, changed out of her PJ’s into some joggers and a hoodie and found herself sneaking out the back door out of genuine curiosity. When she was outside, she realised that neither Pope nor John B were with JJ. Along with that, she realised that he had two boxes of pizza and some beer cans set down on the grass next to him.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I was scrolling through Instagram, realised you weren’t at the party, thought you might need a pick me up,” He seemed to register her tired face and puffy eyes under the dim starlight because he continued, “guess I was right!”

And that’s how, twenty minutes later, JJ and Ki found themselves in a clearing near her house. They sat down opposite each other, the pizza boxes separating them.

“Got your favourite, double cheese, double pepperoni and half the jalapeño.”

Except for the occasional direction here and there, Ki had been quite their entire walk. She couldn’t really even process what was happening. How was JJ here? Why was he talking to her after she’d treated them him like shit the past few months? None of it made sense to her, least of all why this was all from JJ. With all of it perplexing her, the only thing she managed to say was, “You remembered.”

‘Yeah of course I did Ki, just because you stopped talking to us doesn’t mean we stopped caring about you. Come on, dig in, it’s getting cold.”

She didn’t know how to respond to him so she just followed him in picking up a slice from the box. Warm pizza , cold beer and melted cheese heavily complemented the gentle breeze that surrounded them. They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know Ki-”

“No, everything I did these past few months, the way I cut you guys off, the way I left y’all when you needed me I-”

“Ki we know-”

“God, I’ve been so stupid, I left you guys, like y’all were nothing, y’all needed me and I-”

“Ki, Ki-” Ki just continued, she felt horrible, “KIARA!” JJ saying her full name was so foreign to her, especially since he hadn’t even call her by her nickname these past few months, it undoubtably got her to stop talking.

“I know the pressure your parents put on you to start at that kook academy. Look we all know how hard it is for you to manage these two parts of your life. I know Ki, you don’t have to keep apologising, I know. We know! Why do you think we didn’t try to talk to you when you told us last summer? We want you to do what’s best for you Ki, you are better than us.” At that, Kiara got up and paced back and forth a few steps, remorse hitting her unbearably. 

“I’m not better than any of you. A part of me wanted to leave you all behind.”

JJ’s response was almost instantaneous, “I don’t blame you for it!”

“Well you should! I left you and Pope. I left John B for god’s sake. His dad is most probably dead and I wasn’t theRE.... I-I’m not there.”

At this point the tears had returned to her and she broke on her last word. Her voice wasn’t steady anymore. “I left all of you... I left you.”

JJ couldn’t stand hearing Ki like this, there’s nothing he hated more than having to let down his guard and get real. But JJ, when she said that, realised that this wasn’t about him. 

“Yeah Ki you did, but fuck that. We know you love us, we know that it was a difficult call! You have to forgive yourself. The reason I came tonight was to let you know that you have the people that care about you Ki.”

He stepped toward her and looked her right in the eye, Ki had never seen someone so determined with compassion before, “Whatever you do Ki - if you wanna go to the kook academy, if you wanna be friends with Sarah Cameron, if you wanna cry about how horribly she treated you, if you wanna listen to your parents and not talk to us, if you wanna leave the cut- we’re never not going to have your back. You’re a pogue. You’re our pogue! And if Sarah Cameron can’t see how kickass you are, she doesn’t deserve you and she never did. You got us Ki, we’re always right here. No matter what.”

And throughout all of that, he hadn’t stopped looking directly at her. She was enamoured to say the least, she couldn’t remember the last time JJ talked about something that real, let alone carry an entire conversation himself. Knowing her words wouldn’t suffice, she hugged him. She smelt the sea salt in his hair and pizza grease on his shirt and it was the epitome of comfort to her. JJ hugged her right back, it meant the world to him that he could make her feel at least a bit better. They stood like that for a while, long and quiet breaths synced, arms entangled in waist and shoulders, hearts rhythmically beating, just enjoying the warmth of the best friend they dearly missed. 

Before they could completely untangle from the other, Ki looked back at JJ, god, how did she get so lucky to have someone like him in her life? The air lightened around them as she looked at him, his eyes regained the mischievous glint they always had. It might’ve been because she was slightly tipsy, or because he was staring so intently at her, but for some reason, it felt right. There was no waiting or thinking, she rested her hands on either side of JJ’s face and kissed him. His lips were chapped and they tasted like beer but she loved it. A rush of adrenaline ran through her, it was new and exciting. 

When JJ processed her soft lips on his, and her hands caressing his face, he pulled back. Along with confusion and surprise, there was something in his eyes that Ki couldn’t recognise. But before she decided on asking him what it was about, he was already kissing her again. 

And this time there seemed to be nothing holding him back. His hands were wrapped around her waist, she was grabbing fistfuls of his hair in reciprocation. They knew that they would never be able to do it again so they just gave in. His hands travelled to the small of her back and her neck and she swore that she had never felt something more intoxicating. 

Ki had forgotten where they even were when they broke for air. They were both just breathing, eyes closed and foreheads touching, it was the closest thing to perfect the either of them had ever felt.

When they opened their eyes and looked back at one and other, they were surprised at how comfortable it felt. How... un-awkward, it oddly felt right. But they knew what the rules were, they knew that when Ki got home, they would never talk about it again, and they were fine with that too.

As they approached her doorstep, JJ couldn’t help himself but ask, “Was that your first-” “Yeah.” “Yeah, mine too.” “What?” Kie thought he was joking, JJ had flirted with every other tourist at the boneyard since they were like ten, “Mine, too.” He repeated. There was an honesty to his response that stopped Ki from asking any further. 

She hugged him again. “Thank you for this. I missed you.” He hugged her right back.

“I missed you too. When you come back to us, more beer will be waiting for you no questions asked, don’t ever doubt it.” With that, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and left. 

Ki had a small smile playing on her lips; she had never felt lighter in her life.