#but still…phew. robots are starting to become all i can do now

[izsheum]

waiter waiter! more reposts please!!

the things humans do when they’re bored tend to be super odd and strange and eughhhh. they would be so perturbed. i love it

[diaborodevil]

Earth

Perceptor: bumblebee are you ready to receive the equipment

Bumblebee: uh yeah

Perceptor: you seem distracted

Bumblebee: I’m fine

Perceptor: good um what do you think there bringing I’m guessing equipment

Bumblebee: I’m thinking weapons this is planned to become a military base

(We then see a temporary groundbridge open as a bot walks through with a cart full of weapons)

Bumblebee: I won the bet

Perceptor: we weren’t betting

Crosshairs: we’ll you wish you wer I got you some of the finest wares I could scrounge up and yer getting them for free pardners

Perceptor: thanks what’s with the accent

Crosshairs: do ye want the guns are no

Bumblebee: we’ll take them

Crosshairs: good I’m gonna go and get the second cart now

Bumblebee: wow look at all of them oh I can’t wait to try them out

Perceptor: yeah but what good are they if we’re hiding out and there’s only two of us and why start with a weapon supply

Bumblebee: wait did one them move

Perceptor: don’t be perpos oh wait I think one is

(The suspicious gun then leaps off the cart then transforms into a bird like shape)

Lazerbeak: *scawwwww*

Perceptor: it’s a decepticon bumblebee catch it

(Lazerbeak proceeds to fly through a window)

Perceptor: okay we’re going to need to chase it cmon

Bumblebee: but you don’t have a terra alt mode

Perceptor: I know but we need to catch that decepticon

Bumblebee: I’m just gonna grab a few of these

(Both bumblebee and perceptor leave the base)

Crosshairs: I’m back where did everyone go well I reckon I need to leave a note done and I’m good to go

(On one piece of perceptors equipment we see two dots start to move on the screen)

Sam: bumblebee you out here

Daniella: I don’t think we’ll find him out here

Sam: we’ll find him I have questions

Laserbeak: *scraw*

Daniella: was that a robotic bird

Sam: yep it was

Perceptor: it went this way

Bumblebee: okay got it

Sam: bumblebee what’s going on

Perceptor: I thought you said no Terrans saw you

Bumblebee: how do you know he saw me

Perceptor: he knows your name

Bumblebee: fair point uh the con is getting away

Sam: can we help

Perceptor: no your not involved in this

(Bumblebee and perceptor continue the chase)

Daniella: sam what are you thinking

Sam: does mom still play badminton

Daniella: no she wouldn’t even get mad if anything oh I see what you’re saying

Perceptor: huh is it me or is it trying to

Bumblebee: watch out

Sam: pretend to get hit

Bumblebee: what

Sam: if it looks like you get hit it might come to investigate then me and Daniella will spring a trap to catch it

Bumblebee: okay wait were is the other one

Sam: the other guy

Perceptor: that might just work

(So)

Bumblebee: aughhh

Laserbeak: *scraw*

Sam: now

Laserbeak: *SCRAWWWWWWWW*

Sam: we got it

Laserbeak:

Sam: never mind it’s got me

Perceptor: bumblebee go help him also hand me that

Bumblebee: okay you know how to use that

Perceptor: I do

Bumblebee: and got it

Lazerbeak: *SCRAW*

Bumblebee: how strong is that thing

Perceptor: keep it steady

Bumblebee: IM TRYING

(Laserbeak escapes but before he can continue to fly off *bang* he drops into some distant forest)

Perceptor: got it

Bumblebee: phew glad that’s taken care of

Perceptor: next of course is your new friends

Sam: sir bumblebee saved me and my sister and I saved him so could you please

Perceptor: quiet let me talk bumblebee I am upset that you blew our covers but as long as your friends keep quiet I’m okay with that and you can even let them come to the base before our Allie’s come

Bumblebee: thanks perceptor

Perceptor: so what are your names

Sam: I’m Sam and this is my sister Daniella

Daniella: what’s your name

Perceptor: it’s perceptor now if you’ll excuse us we need to get back to our base

Bumblebee: see ya

Sam: bye

(Laserbeak recovers and flys away until landing on a decepticons arm)

Soundwave: oh Laserbeak it is good to see you again and thanks for distracting those Autobots so my trainees could sneak onto earth

Shatter: it is good to see you again

Dropkick: so why did you call us down here

Soundwave: you’ll learn in do time wait did you have a third con with you

Shatter: no you only called for us what do you mean

Soundwave: you were followed

Dropkick: but who is it

(The proto_rocket crashes into the side of a mountain as a figure in a white cloak exits it)

???: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

A new challenger approaches

[tarklesbehindthescenes]

If you've got the time and inclination, I've got another MegaRatch request for you, maybe related to the one from before. Megan does something really dumb on the battlefield and gets hurt and due to some contrivance, Ratchet begrudgingly patches him up.

It is DONE!! It took me sooo long to figure out what direction I wanted to take it, but it is done!

MegaRatch 2: Electric Boogaloo

Word count capped at 2,172

-

Ratchet squinted up at the grey warlord belting out hearty, maniacal laughter. The smug spawn of a glitch was at it again. Another absurd plan was being put in motion that would allow the Decepticons to gather energy at the expense of the planet and its inhabitants’ safety. And as always, he was gloating about it while the Autobots fought against his forces to put a stop to it. As the fight progressed, it was becoming increasingly apparent that it was only a matter of time before Optimus Prime got to him and wrecked his creation.

Megatron began fiddling with the controls which caused a violent crackling of electricity to erupt from it, frightening his in-commands and making the rest of his army pause to look over, the Autobots they were fighting doing like-wise.

“Actions: inadvisable! Requesting Megatron desist!” Soundwave called out to him desperately.

“Do you wish to blow us all to kingdom come?!” Starscream shrieked, scrambling back with panic. “It’s too soon, you’ll—”

“I do not need it to finish in order to gain the power necessary to defeat the Autobots!” Megatron roared over the crackling electricity as he placed his hands on a couple orbs. Electrical currents began flowing from the machine into Megatron. “I will not let this victory escape us!”

“I’m not staying! Decepticons, flee!” Starscream took off in a hurry, the seekers following his example and taking to the air hot on his thrusters. Soundwave turned to the remaining forces as they looked like they were seriously considering doing the same.

“Wait! Hold positions!” he commanded. His words fell on faulty audio receptors, however. Astrotrain and Reflector booked it and that was the end of that. The other Decepticons bailed, leaving Megatron and Soundwave alone with the Autobots.

“Cowards!” Megatron bellowed after them, removing his hands from the machine, energy crackling around them. “You will all suffer the consequences of deserting the battlefield!”

“Prime, I think that’s our cue to go!” Wheeljack called.

Optimus Prime took a small step backward but kept his gaze locked on the warmonger. “Everyone, get back! We don’t know what he can do!”

Megatron raised his arms above his head, focusing the electrical energy in his hands and narrowing his optics as the Autobots began to pull back. “It’s too late to run, Prime! Your doom is nigh at hand!”

Ratchet eyed the electricity coursing through Megatron’s hands. That was big talk coming from someone wielding such unstable energy. If he could just distract him for long enough... “Megatron!” the medic barked out.

The warmonger’s optics snapped to him then a smirk curled up on his lips. “Ratchet,” he mused. “It would be such a shame to lay waste to such medical skills like yours. I will give you a choice. Join me or perish with your team!”

“Do you realize just how absurd this plan is?” Ratchet evaded. Megatron took the bait and went into a mini-monologue. “What is absurd about it? With you Autobots offline, there will be nothing standing in the way of total domination of this planet so I can bleed it dry!” He ended with a laugh. Behind him, Soundwave noticed the energy growing more and more unstable in his commander’s hands and began backing up. Once Megatron was done having a laugh, he narrowed his optics at the medic. “Now choose!”

“Ratchet—” Optimus started, stopping himself when Ratchet motioned for him to back off and reluctantly doing as directed.

“Give me a moment to think!” he snapped at the warlord.

“Now!” Megatron demanded, the crackling of energy nearly drowning him out.

“Fine, fine!” Ratchet threw a quick glance at Soundwave. The communications officer was reluctantly running for cover. “I choose…” The medibot swiftly turned on his heel and booked it with the rest of his team.

Behind them, the warmonger snarled. “You have chosen most unwisely! Taste the consequences of your—”

The rest of the threat was cut off as there was the loud sound of electricity discharging and screams of pain followed shortly after. It was so darn bright in the area for a few minutes that it was nigh impossible to see clearly until the light settled down to normal levels. The group of Autobots mumbled to each other and looked around.

“Is everyone all right?” Prime checked, giving each mech a glance over. “Ratchet?”

The medibot waved a dismissive hand. “I’m okay.”

“That was some quick thinking back there,” the leader praised.

Ironhide fixed the ambulance with a confuddled expression. “Just why was that bucket o’ bolts tellin’ ya to join ‘im?”

To which, Ratchet responded with an exasperated huff. “Because he’s a fan of my work? Drop it.”

Sunstreaker looked to where they had come from. Megatron could be seen on the ground, a small cloud of smoke rising from him. “He charred himself but good, it seems.” The Lambo twin screwed up his face with mild disgust. “Phew, you can smell it!”

“I think it’s safe to say he won’t be getting up for a while or finishing that scheme of his,” Optimus agreed, gesturing to the machine behind the downed Decepticon commander. “That electrical outburst fried his creation. Autobots, let’s roll for home.”

The Autobots took the command and promptly transformed to begin following Prime back home. Ratchet transformed, but paused as he caught sight of Soundwave checking up on Megatron through his rearview mirrors.

“Hey, doc. You coming?” Trailbreaker said, cutting through his thoughts.

“I just remembered I’ve got some business to take care of,” Ratchet replied. “You go on ahead. I’ll be back when I’m done.”

If Trailbreaker could shrug in vehicle mode, Ratchet was sure he would have during the pause before the dark-colored car left. Once he was out of sight, the medibot returned to robot mode and approached Soundwave and the unconscious Megatron. It was almost a struggle to move forward. A big part of him screamed to just leave with the others and let Megatron and the other Decepticons deal with the consequences themselves. But the part of him that made him take up his profession as a medibot scolded that part of him and was forcing him forward.

Soundwave took notice of him and pointed his blaster at him when Ratchet drew close.

Ratchet fixed him with a stern look. “Put that peashooter away! I’m a medic, not a warrior.” Without waiting for Soundwave’s next move, he knelt down beside Megatron and looked him over. The smoke was coming from Megatron’s mouth and seeping out of cracks in his plating. Ratchet shook his head. “He should’ve listened to you.”

The third-in-command hesitated before putting his weapon away. “Vitals indicate he is still online,” he reported.

“No doubt a good chunk of his hardware is fried, though,” Ratchet grunted. His examination of the Decepticon commander led him to find that Megatron’s state, while not ideal, was stable enough that he didn’t need a patch. “Can you carry him?”

“Affirmative.”

“Good. He needs to be brought back to your ship so we can actually tend to him.” The sound of flight frames approaching made them pause and look up. Blitzwing and Astrotrain had returned and touched down just beside them. “And look. Here’s our ride.”

The two triple changers frowned, Blitzwing with confusion and Astrotrain with disdain.

“Your ride, Autobot? We only came to check up on Megatron and see the results.” Astrotrain eyed Megatron with judgement. “Looks to me like he’s ultimately failed.”

Soundwave picked up the commander and glowered at the shuttle train behind his visor. “Transform. NOW,” he commanded.

Astrotrain looked to Blitzwing.

His friend cocked an optic ridge at him. “What are you looking at me for? Soundwave’s our superior. And you don’t want to mess with Ratchet, trust me.” Blitzwing reminded, making the shuttle train sigh heavily before doing as told and transforming into shuttle mode.

Soundwave entered him with Ratchet close behind and settled down, then they were off. The ride was short thanks to Astrotrain’s size and speed. When they arrived in the hangar, they found the seekers gathered with a few of the other Decepticons, recounting the events that went down. Starscream was, of course, blowing things out of proportion.

“—drove him to such rash actions! He turned himself into a living bomb just to get the advantage over the Autobots! I tried to warn him against it, but he was so livid, he just could not be reasoned with!”

…Actually, that was fairly accurate.

“Kind of you to come back to base instead of check up on him,” Ratchet called out, making the second-in-command and those gathered around turn to him and Soundwave.

Starscream didn’t have the decency to look remotely abashed. “Somebody had to relay the events. Besides, Soundwave—” The seeker paused and squinted. “Now wait just one moment here! What the frag are you doing in our base?!”

“Ratchet will be lending his aid toward Megatron’s recovery.” Soundwave gave Starscream a challenging look, daring him to intervene.

The air commander didn’t, but he certainly didn’t approve. He shot Megatron a loathing and disappointed look. “You mean to tell me he’s still alive?”

“Don’t sound so thrilled, Starscream,” Ratchet commented. “We’ll get the wrong idea about you.”

Starscream scoffed and shrugged. “Naturally, I am enthused about this turn of events. How lucky we are to be bequeathed with such a miracle.”

Several bots in the room rolled their optics, including Ratchet. “Alright, alright,” the medibot grunted, “that’s enough back and forth. Someone tell Hook to get his aft to the medbay if he isn’t there already. This is going to be a repair all three of us will be needed for, Soundwave.”

“Understood.”

[Perspective Change]

Megatron’s vision was dark for a moment, save for the flashing word ‘rebooting’. He felt stiff and a little cold. What had happened to land him like this? He had the Autobots on the run, and then… the energy in his hands exploded. His team of Decepticons had left him. Was he still on the ground where the battle had taken place? …No, this didn’t feel like it.

His systems finished rebooting, now granting him sight and audio. The medbay ceiling greeted his optics and the sound of bots working and talking out of sight came to his audio receptors.

“—impressive, honestly. The amount of burns on his motherboard and these hydraulics. Yet the electrical damage jumped over the main power nodes on the board, which is what kept him stable.”

Megatron squinted. That voice… “Ratchet?” he murmured.

There was the sound of movement and then there he was, looking down on him. “Look who’s finally up. You know, you really should listen to your in-commands next time,” the medibot chided. “They’re usually there to keep you from doing stupid things.”

Megatron disregarded the chastisement. “What are you… You’re… here…” he mumbled with utmost confusion.

Ratchet folded his arms. “Against my better judgement.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a medic and…” He hesitated. “I decide who my patients are. Leaving you the way you were just felt… wrong. I don’t understand it fully, myself, so just take it and be grateful I even took the time out of my day to work on your sorry aft.”

The Decepticon commander struggled for a moment to process this. The Autobot chief medic actually helped him of his own volition? Was he expecting anything? He must’ve been. “I am not going to stop attacking your friends,” he stated gruffly.

To which Ratchet rolled his optics at him. “Did I say anything about them?”

“No, but surely you’re not doing this favor for free.”

“And why shouldn’t I be?”

“It makes no sense!” Megatron sat up to better lock optics with him. “Nobody does something unless commanded or bribed!”

Ratchet shook his head. “You’ve got a skewed perspective of reality. All I want is to be dropped back off on the surface so I can go back to the Ark. You seem to be perfectly fine now and don’t need me.”

“Wait just one moment,” Megatron said, looking over to where Ratchet came from, to where Soundwave and Hook stood patiently. “Leave us.” Hook left without a second thought, while Soundwave hesitated before slowly taking his leave. Once the medbay was clear of everyone but himself and Ratchet, the commander spoke up again. “Stay a while longer,” he bade with an unusually quiet tone. This medibot was a puzzle. An enigma. Megatron wasn’t about to just let this go without getting as much facts as he could.

The Autobot fixed him with a squint. “What for?”

“Just to talk.”

“…That’s it?”

“That’s all. I have questions that need addressing,” the warlord clarified.

There was a pause, and then the medic sighed and dropped his arms to his sides. “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. Just long enough to be certain you’re on the road to recovery.”

This time Megatron would settle his curiosity about the Autobot ambulance once and for all. This time for sure the intrigue would be satisfied.

[palettepainter]

I’ve got post vaccine (moderna gang) shivers so I need to express fluff headcanons to spread good vibes

When Ecto was planning to propose, he had to keep it so hush hush because Higari can easily find things out. He didn’t tell anyone but higaris mother and his own parents. He was very happy that Higari was actually surprised with the proposal. Higari wears the rings on a necklace- his quirk doesn’t exactly make wedding rings easy to find.

As much as Higari prefers being a support hero, search and rescue jobs that go smoothly it’s very rewarding. He often checks up on those he’s managed to rescue, keeps in touch with some too. There’s this lovely older woman who he rescued from a crumbling retirement home who sends him baked goods every holiday. He visits her every month for tea.

When Ecto is sick, Higari cares for him easily. Even when Ecto acts like he isn’t sick. He’ll make him soup, make sure he’s resting, cold compress on his forehead. As stubborn as he is, ecto appreciates it.

Higaris favorite memory with his dad is digging around in the yard with him. Since they had the same quirks, it worked out. He showed him how to carve tunnels without the ground crumbling, or just played around in the dirt. There’s a picture of Higari when he was three, covered in dirt with his head peaking out of a hole. His dad was grinning, sitting near by like he was cheering him on. Sometimes, especially on days where thinking about his dad is hard, he’ll tell Ecto stories.

As someone who also got shivers after getting a vaccine I know the feeling, how you’re doing well!

Ecto proposing, Yes! I love the idea of Ecto proposing to Higari, and his rugged flirting smirking self just crumbles in the face of Ecto holding a ring to him. Ecto’s eyes are so full of love and he has such a soft grin on his face that Higari can’t help but tearing up, he tries to think of something flirty to say back, but he just can’t. He’s overwhelmed - probably ended up tackling Ecto in a hug with a big kiss, which threw Ecto off guard, thinking at first maybe he’d overwhelmed Higari when he started crying.

Higari wearing is around his neck, also yes. Higari’s wedding ring is the only thing that he will spend careful hours cleaning and polishing at the end of each day to make sure it stays in good condition, wears is around UA proudly - though I imagine for interviews outside of UA or when he’s called out for hero work he leaves it at home in a special box on his dresser or safely tucks it away in a drawer in the design studio, as much as he loves wearing the rink around his neck he dreads the thought of loosing it in a rescue, or having some nosy reports pester him for answers if they catch sight of it. 

With Higari’s gear I’m a firm believer he’d be a great rescue hero in say like natural disasters or if a building collapsed. With his giant robotic suit and his know how on construction he could easily map a safe route to evacuate citizens from an unstable building, or quickly find a way to clean up after a land slide. Need to move a giant tree? No problem he’ll move it no prob. Citizen can’t move because they’re leg hurts? He can carry em out to safety. Kids they rescued are bored while they’re waiting for parents to pick them up? Higari tolerates them clambering about on his hero suit like it’s a jungle gym

Anything with Higari caring for Ecto or vise versa is so wholesome! In my NGAU I imagine Higari prolly knows all the tricks to help when someone is sick, he grew up in a big house with tones of little siblings, as kids they got sick a lot with how often they played in the garden and mud, they’ve all got very strong immune systems so it’s rare Higari or his siblings get sick - but Higari still knows all the tricks to help nursing someone back to health. He remembers to give Ecto some medicine, make him some soup, hot water bottle if he’d cold, flannel if he’s too hot and plenty of liquids. A teenie tiny part of Ecto might even enjoy all the attention, appreciating Higari’s concern. Too bad Higari is too stubborn to actually treat himself when he’s sick, with how little he gets sick he doesn’t take it all that seriously - thankfully Ecto is a patient man with many clones, so is willing to drag Higari back to bed if needed XD

And the last one with his dad...

Anon: Are you trying to make me cry-

In my NGAU Powerloader’s dad was all over him, spoiled Higari so so much. Spent many lazy afternoons slacking off work when the missus wasn’t looking to play around with Higari (bragged for like a week straight that he got his quirk, proud dad moment). Higari’s mother came out into the garden to see how the boys where doing, she finds her husband and toddler son covered head to toe in dirt and mud. She gets angry at them, insisting the two need a bath if they want to have dinner. Toddler Higari hated baths from the day he was born apparently, and it’s only until dear old papa gives him a bath is he willing to get clean. His dad puts bubbles in Higari’s hair, and Higari splashes bubbles onto his dads beard, who then makes a silly face to make Higari laugh. Too bad only one hour after tea the two got dirty again-

The first time Higari used his quirk was when he was outside with his dad. His dad was working on fixing up the shed, Higari sitting in a small play pen outside with some toys while his dad stood close by, able to work while also keeping an eye on Higari. Higari, bored of playing with his building blocks, begins to drag his little hands at the ground, and before he knows it he’s tunneling his way to freedome beyond the bounds of his baby playpen. This kind of scneario probably ensued:

Kaigo (PL’s dad): Phew *picks up tool box and turns around* Alright sweetpea, time to go back insi- *freezes when he sees the playpen is empty, and no baby in sight* W-WHAT?! *drops tool box, and rapidly looks around* Uh- H-Higari?! Sweetpea?! Where’d you go?? Come to dad, this isn’t funny! *rushes around a bit*

Higari: *tunnles his way up to the surface in his mothers flowerbed, a small pile of dirt with a flower sticking out the top sitting on his head*

Kaigo: *searching in the bushes* H-Higari?! Higari! Where are you?! *mumbles* Shit I took my eyes off him for two minutes! Where the hell could he-

Higari: BAPA!

Kaigo: *jumps and whirls around*..*heaves and sigh and rushes over* Oh thank god! *scoops him into his arms for a hug* You stupid lil’ ankle biter! Don’t you ever do that again! *holds him out at arms length* How in the world did you even get out??

Higari: *sneezes from the dirt, making the flower fall off his head*

Kaigo:..Wait. Did..D-Did you, DIG your way out?!

Higari: *incoherent baby noises*

Kaigo;...Ooooh you are in SO much trouble young man, you know how many years off my life you just took? Huh?...*scowls as Higari giggles* Oh so you think this is FUNNY?-

Higari: *grabs his nose* BA!

Kaigo:............*sighs* You’re damn lucky you’re cute, you know that?...Uh, how about we DON’T tell your Ma about this, okay?

Ever since then his dad had to watch him like a hawk, one minute Higari was sitting playing with his toys, the next he was trying to dig his way to the other side of the world. When he was old enough his dad did give him some lessons in how to dig safely so the ground wouldn’t become unstable. I imagine Higari may have madea  few tunnels as a kid that where too close to the surface, and his very unsuspecting mum and dad would just sink into the ground collapsing an old tunnel Higari made. And Higari having pictures?? YES. His mum probably has a whole stash of pictures of Higari as a baby playing outside with his dad and her. Including the embarrassing photos, the kind of photos Higari would never want Ecto to see, but his mum showed him anyway. 

Now I wanna write angst with Powerloader and his dad aaaaa-

[andyet-here-we-are]

I Would Get Into Millions of Accidents Just to See You, Chapter 2 (aka Nurse Geralt AU)

(ao3: x

Chapter 1 Tumblr Link: x )

Geralt is not someone who is an active social media user. He has never been.

Hell, he wouldn’t even use WhatsApp if he didn’t have to.

He thinks that apps like this make people so accessible, and leaves little privacy, and ironically, despite it’s called “social media” it makes people less social. He has lost count of how many times he has seen a group of friends sitting somewhere and scrolling through some apps on their phone or something instead of talking to each other.

Of course, it depends on one’s use, but from what he can tell, whenever you’re online, people tend to think that you have all the time in the world.

So no, thank you very much. He likes his privacy.

Whenever he says that “Social media is for people who don’t have nothing better and important to do,” Ciri just gives him The Look ™ and says: “Okay, boomer.”

He has no idea what the hell it’s supposed to mean, but he is sure it’s not something good.

Once Ciri had downloaded some dating app on his phone without his permission while he was sleeping his ass off after a very tiring night shift. That little match-maker of a girl.

And not only that, but also she had said: “I texted some of the users for you! The ones I thought you might like. One of them seemed nice, I like her energy. So, anyway, long story short, you have a date this weekend. You can thank me later.”

“Excuse me, you did what?!”

Needless to say, Ciri wasn’t allowed to use the internet for three days after that.

“I just want you to be happy,”  on the third day, Ciri had said out of the blue while they were reading I, Robot together —they were both into sci-fi, and reading was a great escape from thinking about all the things going on in life.

“You deserve love. Everyone does. Your whole life is nothing but me and your job, and… You deserve happiness, dad. You deserve love.”

“Come here,” Geralt had said, opening his arms wide for her to embrace him, which Ciri had applied.

“I am happy, pumpkin.”

“You could be happier… If there was someone you loved and dated—”

“Ciri, look. Love is… A beautiful thing.” he started ‘Even though it can be hurtful,’ was left unsaid.

“But love doesn’t necessarily mean the affection between a couple. It doesn’t just mean romantic love. Love can be in many forms, shapes, and different ways. Love of self, of animals, of nature, friends, family… We experience love every day when you think about it. You can find it in everything.  Even in a slice of homemade pie that Mrs. April brought us today.”

“I love pie! But dad, I doubt that if a slice of pie can tell you that you look lovely today. A cutie-pie on the other hand—”

“Ciri, have you been even listening to me?”

“…and a pie can’t run their fingers through your hair-”

Geralt sighs, “Why am I even trying?”

“Deep down you know I’m right. Dad… How about you just… give her a chance? For me? Just see how it goes?”

"Is it gonna make you happy if I do that?”

“So happy!”

“And you’re not gonna do something like that ever again.”

“Promise!”

“Not downloading stupid apps on my phone, and not trying to set me up.”

“You got it, Cap!”

Geralt had met with that woman, and they just didn’t click.

True to her word, Ciri never has done something like that again.

***

Geralt is not someone who likes social media.

But there he is, looking at the musician’s posts instead of sleeping—even though he has to get up early as always tomorrow—scrolling through the app, and feeling like a high school girl with a stupid crush.

He reads every little caption the musician had written.

Surprisingly- well, maybe not so surprisingly- his songs aren’t the only thing he posts about.

He posts about random things; sometimes it’s a pretty flower he came across this morning, sometimes it’s a kitten, a book he is currently reading, food recipes, his drawings, things like that.

His account seems like just his personality.

Filled with all the beautiful colors in the word. Filled with joy, and every little thing he shares feels so sincere. Personal.

[I tried that recipe @Brianricci has sent me and it still feels like there are fireworks in my stomach, so here’s a little drawing for you my life-saver pasta-mate.]

That one makes Geralt smile. Reminds him of that day.

***

“I have something for you, Mr. Should Have Been A Model But Became A Nurse For Some Reason. Not that I’m complaining, for the record. The only thing I have complaints about is your hospital’s awful food. So awful that it should be illegal. A sin, even. You’re sinning whenever you guys force people to eat that food. I can only imagine your staff’s weekly confessing: ‘Forgive me father for I’ve sinned.’

‘What’s wrong, immortal one? What did you do?’

‘Oh, father, even bathing myself in holy water can’t cleanse me from my sins! I made my patient eat that awful food, I had to, father! I had to! I had no choice! But I have faith that I can change that one day!’

‘Faith becomes you. Stay with it. Keep fighting the good fight with all thy might.’

God help him this man is so ridiculous.

“Why are you suddenly Anthony Hopkins from The Rite?”

“Eh, just felt like it,” Jaskier shrugs “Your jello is pretty good though, so, good deed point. And your nurses aren’t half bad either, so I heard.”

Jaskier winks at him.

The audacity of that man.

“Anyway! As I was saying, I have something for you—”

“I have something for you, too, Mr. Pankratz,” Geralt says. He has a good guess about what Jaskier has for him.

A drawing of a flower.

He had heard the staff talking about how the pretty patient in room 242 has been giving flower drawings to pretty much everyone while he was walking around.

“Why thank you, you shouldn’t have! You brought some wine for me or something? For the celebration for my third week here? You’re so kind, my good sir.”

“It’s your medicines.”

“…ever the heartbreaker. I take back everything I said. You’re the devil in disguise.”

After Geralt gives him his medicines, Jaskier pulls a scratch book under his pillow and carefully tears a page from it. He gives it to Geralt.

“I thought I was the devil in disguise?” The nurse says as he takes the drawing from him “Are you sure that you should give demons a flower draw—”

Geralt can’t finish his sentence.

Because what he is looking at certainly is not a flower drawing.

It’s a man who holds a syringe in his hand with a kind smile on his face, and the syringe is filled with cute little hearts.

It’s him.

There’s a giant cactus standing behind him for some reason Geralt finds it hard to understand why.

He has seen the other drawings, and they are nothing like this one. This one looks like Jaskier has tried his hardest to make it perfect. Put everything in it. It’s perfect and detailed as if he had drawn it while looking at Geralt. It also seems familiar for some reason.

“—in conclusion, devils are fallen angels, so…” Geralt hears Jaskier talking.

Yet he is too busy to say something as he keeps looking at the drawing in his hands.

“Ooops, did I go too far with the hearts?”

“Hm.”

“Geralt? Say something, please? Oh God, I broke my nurse. They’re sooo gonna sue me. And I don’t think I can afford a good lawyer, I’ll rot in jails, I’m too young to rot in jails, I can’t be someone’s bitch, I’m not even—”

“May I ask why is there a cactus standing behind me?”

“A comment! Phew! Finally! Well, that would be because you’re just like a cactus.”

Geralt raises an eyebrow.

“Better than being a weed, Dandelion.”

Jaskier holds his hand to his chest and gasps, feigning offense.

“Words hurt, Geralt. Words hurt.

I meant it as, like, let’s face it, you’re kinda prickly on the outside sometimes, but soft on the inside? A cactus in the desert.”

Geralt sighs.

“And now you imply that my hospital is a desert. How nice. What’s next?”

“You don’t like it?”

“It’s okay.”

It’s obviously more than okay, but teasing with the young man is fun, and everyone needs some fun in their lives once in a while.

“If you don’t appreciate my drawing just give it back,” Jaskier makes grabby hands as he pouts like a little kid that just dropped his ice cream,  “I’m pretty sure it’ll look good on my fridge anyway. No trouble for me.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

“I’m not giving this back. Too late, you should’ve thought that before you gave it to me. Can’t take it back now.”

“If you don’t say something nice about my spectacular drawing you can be sure that I’m gonna take it back from your hands even if that means putting up a fight.”

“How bold of you to think that you’re in a condition to put up a fight.”

“You’d be surprised. And if I can’t, your other nurse friends and your fellow patients can do it for me. I haven’t been handing out flower drawings for nothing all day.”

“And you say I am the devil in disguise.”

“I never said I was an angel, have I? Seriously though, you have ten seconds to pay a compliment to my drawing. Ten—”

“ ‘Okay’ was a compliment.”

“I beg to differ, since when ‘okay’ is a compliment? Say that to the Italian chef in Mamma Mia when he asks how is the pasta and see if he takes ‘okay’ as a compliment and doesn’t pour half-full pasta plate over your head, and ruin your favorite bee shirt. Also, nine.”

“That was oddly specific. Did that happen to you?”

“Eight, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I was just being hypothetical. Seven, six—”

“I bet he wouldn’t threaten me with taking my meal back if I did at least.”

“Sev— wait a second I was counting backwards, weren’t I? Where were we? Five!”

“Man, you’re really no good at math.”

“Wanna know what I’m good at? Many things, and fighting happens to be one of them. Four, ” Jaskier attempts to get up from the bed, somehow forgetting about his broken leg for a split second and swears: “Ah, cock!”

Geralt barely holds back a laugh at that one.

“Careful.”

“I can still verbally fight you.”

“You’ve been already doing that for the last five minutes.”

“…three.”

“You never give up, do you?” Geralt rolls his eyes with a smile, “It’s a good drawing. I really like it.”

Another lie.

He doesn’t just like it, he loves it.

But even saying that he likes it is enough to make Jaskier beam at him.

“You gave everyone a flower drawing,” he points out  “but I get a cactus and a drawing of myself, why is that? It must have taken some time to draw this.”

“A special drawing for a special nurse.” Not making eye contact, Jaskier says so softly that Geralt nearly misses it. “Yeah, it sure took some time to draw it, and my schedule was so full because of all the crazy hospital parties you guys keep throwing that I could hardly find the time, but eh, I managed somehow.”

“Sucks that they never invite me to that parties,” the nurse jokes back. “Seriously though, thank you. I appreciate it.”            

“I’d like to draw something for Ciri, too. But I’m saving it for later when I can meet her. You didn’t tell her that I’m here, right?”

“She doesn’t know.”

“Good! Keep it that way.”

***

Smiling at the memory, Geralt rises from his bed to take the drawing from his bedside drawer. No, of course he doesn’t look at it every day, what are you talking about?

If he hadn’t promised Jaskier that he wouldn’t let Ciri know until these two can meet in person, this drawing would be on his wall already.

Maybe next to Ciri’s painting of a white wolf.

He had considered doing so but then decided that it would be wise if he didn’t. No doubt Ciri would figure out it was Jaskier’s drawing as soon as she would see it. It was signed by him, after all. Not that Ciri couldn’t figure it out without the signature.

“What the hell, Geralt” The nurse snorts to himself and runs a hand over his face as he imagines his room filled with the drawings of his daughter, and Jaskier’s. “What are you gonna dream about next? Ciri being a flower girl at your wedding?”

Fuck.

He is totally dreaming about it now.

God, it’s crazy how much he misses him, even though he doesn’t really know him.

Ciri already is crazy about Jaskier, and Geralt looks forward to them to meet, to see how Ciri is going to react when she sees him. He feels like the two would talk non-stop, and he would just listen to them talking about God knows what.

He would have no problem with that; in fact.

“I’ll give him a call tomorrow,” he thinks.

He wants to see Jaskier again.

(Thanks for reading! Sorry for the lack of Jaskier in this chapter, but it was like:

-So, it’s time for you to meet Ciri! 

-Hah, well, I love her, but I don’t think so. Not yet. 

-But Ciri- 

-You can have me as a Flashback Guest in this chapter, nothing more. 

-But my plan wasn’t like this. 

-Too bad, I’m my own character.

Let me know what you think please. Have a good day everyone ~ 💛)

[gaillol-13]

ITTHIGSS AU

Cartoon encounter.

Part 3 of this (part 2) Swear warning!

*sigh* "it just doesn't make any sense!"

I've been trying to figure out who that guy is for a while now, ever since I got home from the interview today. It just seemed like something out of a horror film, I don't understand. And they sounded so much like...no. I sat down for a moment to look at the pictures I took, and tried to recall what happened in the room with the tv (and the closet).

"Ok, so blood was coming out of the Tv," I spoke "I heard the killer walking towards me, with their arms out to grab me. They're voice sounded static-like, they were humming the Captoon's theme song. And then one of the police officers went in the room, the humming stopped, I looked in the closet but they were gone...they..."

I sighed.

"They sounded so much like Benjamin, like, identical, the only difference is the static. But, he's been dead for almost a year now, it just doesn't make any sense..."

"Beb-beeep, beb-beeeeep!!! Movement detected!!!"

What?! Theres someone trying to get in the house? I immediately check the security cameras but find no one there. The only evidence is the broken steel doors and a note, I zoomed in on it to get a closer look at what it said, I turned pale.

"Bonjournie~ Mr.Melvin :)"

That's what the note said, and the paper had the same static texture as the hammer piece I had.

The same person who killed those criminals is here, and I'm next.

"MOTHER FUCKER!!!" I screamed, "Why? Why me?! Why is this guy targeting me?! Of course, its because I know too much, I should have just kept quiet, I should have just said they committed suicide, that would have made more sense than a cannibalistic cartoon-loving prick by slaughtering them with nooses and a fucking rubber hammer!!! But noooo! I have to open my big mouth and now this fucker's gonna kill me!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!!"

I tried my best to calm down, it's not easy to think if I'm going into my dinosaur brain. Okay, everything is going to be fine, he must have a weakness, everybody has one. I have lots of inventions that could be good in the situation I'm in, I just gotta think of a plan. Think Melvin think, if I were a cannibal who loves captoon, what would be my weakness?

Hmm... I looked around my room, I spotted one a bottle of paint thinner, huh. I saw this in a game once, thinner can dissolve paint, which is what cartoon characters are made out of. I thought for a moment.

He likes the Captoon cartoon, and George and Harold made that cartoon. So if I'm gonna get this guy, (I cant believe I'm about to say this) I gotta think like George and harold.

Aww hell with it!

I grabbed the thinner bottle and loaded it in a spray gun, its ridiculous, but it's my best shot. And who knows, maybe some of the robot guards took care of him already.

*THUD!!*

"OW! @%#$!!!!"

What was that?! I mean, it was obviously a cry out in pain coming from downstairs (the living room to be exact), but AFTER it sounded like a beeping sound butchered by radio static. But that didn't matter now, the fact is that this guy is in my house, I have a plan (sort of), and I'm ready for whatever is down there.

I grabbed my flashlight and slowly made my way downstairs, he could be anywhere. I turned the lights in the hallway on, no one was there though. I looked in the kitchen, as expected, the fridge was open and most of the food in there was gone, and all of the leftover guac had vanished (THAT really caused a shiver to go down my spine). When I got close to the living room, I heard a noise, or more specifically, music.

I went in the living room to find the TV playing the Captoon theme song, huh. Guess I was right about him liking that, I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

T h e m u s i c d i d n ' t s t o p .

Almost paralyzed with fear, I pressed the off button again, still playing, pressed it again, still going. No matter how many times I pressed it, the music kept playing. It only took me one second to realize the music was coming from behind me...along with that same feeling I had back at the abandoned school...

Oh no...

Before I could turn around, I felt something wrap around me, I looked down, I saw an arm.

Yeah, that's right, an arm was wrapping around my torso. How did I know it was an arm, at the end of it there was a gloved hand, gloved...it sorta gave me rubberhose cartoon vibes. Come to think of it, the arm was fully white like a rubberhose, I would have thought about it more I wasn't in peril.

"AAA-MMF!!!" I tried to scream, but the hand covered my mouth in an instant. The arm was fully wrapped around me now, only leaving my head uncovered.

I kicked and squirmed around trying to escape, no dice. The arm slowly turned me around, I soon realized that the arm was waaayyy longer than I previously thought. It stretched all the way to the far side of the hallway where there was nothing but darkness, nothing except...two...eyes...staring at me.

These weren't normal dot eyes, hohooohh nooo! These had the pupils and the sclera!!! And they were huge!! Who was this guy? No, scratch that. WHAT was this guy?! Forgive me for being Captain Obvious here, but there no fucking way this...thing is human!!

He was walking towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut, shit, I'm fucked. I'm going to be food, I could already see the headlines. "Class S Melvin sneedly (aka the smartest and sexiest man alive) becomes human Foie Gras to rubberhose monster". This is my end!!!

Then he (or it, I don't even know anymore) spoke.

"Shhhh, calm down."

What? Calm down?! I opened my eyes, he was still walking towards me, his eyes still the only things I could see. They looked...guilty.

"I know your scared right now." He continued

"Mmff mfm mff!!" I muffled sarcastically, it roughly translated to "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!", and he knew it. As he became more and more visible, I froze.

The clothes...

The body figure...

The toupee...

He was a spitting image of Benjamin, except the eyes I mentioned earlier (which now revealed that he had pie-slice pupils). And there was no color, only shades of white (his skin), grey, and black...I was filled with shock...which then shifted to seething anger.

What right does this asshole have to impersonate MY boss?! NONE!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I kicked at him furiously while delivering muffled screeching. Who the hell does he think he is?!

"Melvin please calm down-OW!"

I bit his gloved hand, he's NOT gonna tell me what to do.

"DONT "MELVIN" ME!!" I screamed "YOU CANT JUST WALTZ IN HERE THINKING I'LL LISTEN TO YOU, ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CRIMINALS YOU VILE POMPOUS CANNIBALISTIC PRICK!!! WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE BENJAMIN?! AND WHATS YOU LAST MEAL REQUEST CUZ OOOOOHHH DEAR SWEET DAV PILKEY AM I GONNA REPORT YOUR ASS!!!"

He gave gave me a look that was a combination of surprise, pity, scared, and impressed.

"Gosh," I heard him mutter under his static breath "that last bit kinda rhymed..".

How is this happening, when did I become prisoner of a cartoon monstrosity. Why, how. This doesn't-...then it clicked.

"This is a dream."

"Wha?"

It's the only reasonable explanation.

"This isnt real, of course. What was I thinking."

I breathe the sigh of relief, phew.

"Why else would you look like Benjamin, it's obvious my subconscious is missing him, and the reason why your a cartoon is because I've been watching captoon too much. And why are you after me? Because it's just my subconscious being guilty of Benjamin's death, like I felt responsible, like I was supposed to be there with him when it happened. It all makes sense!!"

The behemoth rolled his eyes, but that didn't matter. What matters is that this isnt real, it's just a horrible nightmare. I dont know when I fell asleep (probably when I passed out stress-eating all those croissants at the interview), but either way I'm glad that it will be over---

"OW!!!"

I felt something sharp jab me in the arm, I looked to see his gloved hand, only a little different. The pointer finger was longer and the tip was pointy, sorta like and overgrown fingernail. Either way, it hurt, and he was still there, this wasn't a dream, it was real life.

"Real enough for ya?" All I could do was nod as I watched the finger retract and return to its proper form and shape, then I heard him sigh.

"Look, they're going to search the abandoned school so I need a place to stay-" I cut him off. "Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't call the authorities."

"Cuz they would never believe you."

I opened my mouth to protest, but then i thought for a moment. He was right, they wouldn't. There was a saying in the book Our Lord Dav, where he quoted "people can be too smart for their own good" which ment if someone was too smart, they would become insane. The police might think just that if I tell them theres a living cartoon in my house.

"Please," I looked back up at him. Seeing his sad, pleading face. "I just need to hide hear for a bit, just a lil bit. I know I'm the last guy you wanna trust right now, especially after last night. But...*sigh*... I REALLY need your help...just let me stay."

I was speechless, I was starting to doubt that this was the same person that killed those criminals. His expression seemed so...bonafide. Pupils dilated to a sorrow filled manner, lips trembling, it felt like the equivalent of looking at a sad puppy. But...how do I know I should trust him.

"Your not gonna kill me?"

"Of course not!!!" He protested, by now the arm he had wrapped around me was retracted back to him, but I really wasn't paying attention. "I'm not a monster!!!"

Not a monster? My eyes narrowed.

He then rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously, "I guess I am if you define a monster as a creature that defies the laws of physics and nature, heh. But I'm talking about one that's heartless, ruthless, and selfish."

His eyes then darted away and his face suddenly became sour. His tone changed completely.

"Like the @*#%$, Theodore..."

Theres only one person I know who could sound and act like that when the subject was Ted murdsly...

I threw myself at him in an embrace, eyes filled with tears...

"You are Benjamin..."

I was both in shock and joy. I couldn't believe my boss was alive...I started sobbing.

"I miss you so much..."

I felt him hug me back.

"Heh, miss ya too Mel. It's been very lonely, even with him around, it's nice to see an old friend again..."

I started crying into his shoulder, I was so relieved. For one, I now know that I'm not gonna be dinner. Two, the others will be thrilled to hear that their favorite grumpy boss is back (especially her. If you catch my drift). But I thought for a moment...

"What do you mean by "even with him around"?"

He then lead me to a chair, "sit down, and let me tell you how I'm alive."

So he told me...and dear dav is it a doozy.

So after Benjamin died, George and harold were starting the Captoon cartoons, they had the help of dressy. But in the making of the first tape reel of season 1, dressy sprinkled some dust on it, making Captoon sentient. Then the boys took it to Benjamin's gravestone, and placed it there. Then lightning struck the tape and it started to melt, along with the world in it.

In major pain, Captoon got out of the tape and into Benjamin's corpse, sort of merging with it. Another lightning struck the same spot again. And since dead people come back to life when they get zapped with electricity in cartoons, thats exactly what happened to Benjamin.

He wakes up, they meet, he tells him how he died (turns out it wasn't an accident), and Captoon gets an idea. Since he needs a physical body to stay in (cuz otherwise he would melt and die), and Benjamin needs Captoon's cartoon physiques to stay alive, they become one. Becoming Krupptoon.

It finally made sense now.

"So now you know." Krupptoon said, then grabbed a nearby glass and drunk from it. Then he noticed my mind-blown expression.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just...alot to take in. Does that mean your dead body is still in you?"

"Uh-huh, wanna see?"

Intrigued, I nodded, after what I saw last night, this wont really effect me. Then his head began to shift, the white static-like skin seemed to dissolve. Revealing a pale, bloody, and very very dead head.

The left side (his left side) of the head had the skull smashed open showing that parts of the brain were missing, and pretty much almost all of the left side (again, his left) of the head looked like it was demolished from impact.

His eye (on his right) looked lifeless, yet it had a distinct green glow, don't know why. Oh yeah, and it smelled, it smelled repulsive.

I felt the urge to puke which he immediately took notice of and grabbed a nearby bucket, then he gave it to me.

5 minutes and 43 seconds of vomiting later... I looked at him for a closer inspection.

"Hmm, it seems only the left side is affected."

He then reached into his pocket, pulled out a magnifying glass and handed it to me. I then used it.

"Your frontal lobe is severely injured, that would explain why you only move in rubberhose, your Broca's Area seems fine. Same with the Sensory area and Parietal lobe. Your Temporal lobe looks pretty damaged..."

I went quiet...

"Whats wrong?" He said that with his decayed mouth barely moving.

It took me a while to try to get the words out.

"T-thats the lobe that contains memories. Benjamin...do you remember anything?"

His face fell, "Oh,". He then put his hand on his chin, "Well, I remember you, and George and harold. Ted (though I wish I didn't), my identity, how I died...". He then plopped down on the ground, his face returning to its cartoony appearance. Trying to recall, then his eyes lit up. "I...remember Edith..."

And boy what happened next was quite a site. His hand dropped to the side, a shade of gray crept up his face, hearts started floating around him, and I swear I could hear a romantic saxophone playing. I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

"What?" He turned his attention to me, I simply pointed upwards at the hearts floating around. His eyes went wide and he made a noise that can only be defined as a startled dog and immediately started shooing them away with his arms, his face now flashing dark grey and white in embarrassment.

"I-ITS NOT LIKE THAT!!" He yelped in a panicked tone, but I knew otherwise.

"Oh suuuuure~!" I said playfully, "Its not like you visit her in the lunchroom every day,or that you give her extra credit, or that you try to make her food everyday!"

With every example I said, he got grayer and grayer. So I kept going.

"Or that you hide a bunch of gifts around her office, or that you're always happy when she's around 24/7, or that you secretly write about how much you want to be with her forever in your journal!"

"HOW DID YOU GET MY JOURNAL?!?!" He started shrieking and becoming a charcoal grey, sweating, and flustered mess. And it was hilarious! And it lasted a good 5 minutes.

"Joking aside, you REALLY don't remember anything else, like your job?"

"I have a job?" He cocked his head and gave me a confused look.

"Nevermind." I decided it was nothing to worry about now, so I quickly dismissed that subject. Then I heard him sigh again.

"The main reason I came here is for your help, your help to kill crime."

I was confused, "why would you need my help, you have the ability to do it on your own."

He gave me a classic Captoon smile, "Because it's like I said in the cartoons" he stood up and did the pose, "it's more fun to bring justice with friends!". He then pulled me up off the chair and put his gloved hands on my shoulders.

"You, me, George and harold, and the others can stop evil in its tracks! Sure, I could do it alone. But what the heck is living if you don't do it with your chums! Buds! Home slices! Homies! Pals! Bros! ETC!!!"

Honestly, I was very moved. I usually dont get touched, but...I haven't felt like I had friends, at all (I always felt so alone). And the fact that my boss (who's also Captoon himself) considers me as a good friend is enough to make me emotional.

"So Melvin Sneedly!!! Are you gonna join this crazy but exciting ride of adventure and mystery with me?!"

"Y-YES!!!" My voice cracked a bit, but that didn't matter now.

"ALRIGHTY!!! THEN WE'LL START TOMORROW!!! BECAUSE IM TIRED!!"

Man, he said that Captoon only moved their body, but THAT moment had to disagree. I sas honestly thrilled to start working with a superhero...but then the moment took a different direction when he gave me a smug look.

"Now what did you mean by you watching that Captoon cartoon too much?"

"Now wait just a minute-"

He then laughed and patted me on the back "ight, see ya tomorrow."

I headed towards upstairs to my room "goodnight."

I didn't know what I was getting into, but whatever it was, for once I'm ready for anything!!!

End of fic

Whooooo! That took a while, but it was worth it. Now with the introductions out of the way, I can finally make some memes!

[sid471]

I’m doing these out of order 😊

Oopsie. Hello friends I watched episode 3 and I’m gonna talk about it :3 TL;DR: ... Fuck >_> Spoilers in bound. Don’t want, go away thnk yoooou 😗

So the whole squad got into the academy ^_^ That’s good :3 I think one of Blake’s shadows hit the button 🤔 But yeah they made it and the reactions were funny XD Started off with a bit of comic relief. That’s good ^__^

Buuuuuuuuuuuuut then we see Watts. And..... Of course Ironwood is working with him <_< We all knew he was going to but that doesn’t make it any less annoying >_> He’s not getting off my “Please die soon >_>” list with this kinda behavior <_> Watts is hacking shit around the academy and the final goal is to hack Penny 🙄 We all knew >_< But I hope it doesn’t work. Penny is still robot, but she’s more human than anyone in Atlas. Maybe her humanity will make it impossible to hack her? Or at least impossible to take complete control of her. Or maybe this is just wishful thinking. Aaaaand as a cherry on top of the cake, Watts finds out that they’re in the academy and Ironwood sends a whole buncha reinforcements after them

Anyway next we see more of RNBW(P) and we get an official breakdown of how Ruby’s Semblance works ^_^ complete with a cute graphic :3 

So they use Ruby’s Semblance to get to the room they’re looking for and Penny gives Pietro control of her body, which is very interesting that she can do, and Pietro gets to work doing his thing. 

While that happens, Nora, Blake, and Weiss actually have a very sweet and needed conversation. Blake says that she hopes the others are okay and expresses concern over Yang and Ruby’s relationship, me too girl, and Weiss says “Of course they’ll be okay. Sometimes sisters just have different ideas of what’s right. And that’s okay. They’ll work it out.” not verbatim, but that’s the message. And Nora says “Yeah don’t worry! Oscar’s improved a ton, Yang’s strong enough to protect everyone, and Jaune’s new upgrades are awesome! ^_^” Again not verbatim, god I just watched it I already forgot I have the memory of a dead goldfish >_> And then Blake and Weiss look at her like ‘Forgetting someone? 🤨’ and then she adds on “Oh! And Ren is... Ren is... *sigh* I don’t know what he is anymore. Every time it seems like we’re making progress something always just... pushes us back 😔” We get some Nora vulnerability I was surprised and pleased. And Blake says “When you spend so much time with someone... They can become a part of you. But that’s just it. They’re one part of you. You can’t forget about the whole.” Very good advice from our favorite cat girl. And Nora says something, again that needed to be said, “I don’t know who I am... without Ren. How sad is that...?” And Weiss says “Well... You can use this as your chance to find out. Do something only Nora can do! 😄” And Nora says, sarcastically, and sadly “Like what? Be strong and hit stuff?” I LOVED that whole talk. It was very needed for us and the characters.

But that part with RNBW isn’t done yet Pietro finishes what he’s doing, I forgot because fish brain >_>, and relinquishes control back to Penny. He also reveals that he wants Penny to stay in Amity with Pietro and Maria. Which... makes a bad bad thought come to me that I’ll talk about at the end <_<. Penny says “No but they need me here... Right?” and Ruby says “Well... If you’re up there Salem can’t reach you. She’ll never get the Relic.” Which only amplifies my bad bad thought >_<. But that comes later <_< 

The quintet go the leave the room only to find the Ace Ops there. Wonderful >_>. But Weiss, sassy queen she is, says “Losing to us once wasn’t enough?” And Marrow says “We were just holding back on you guys! >_>” Which... Why would they if they were serious about arresting them? More proof to my “Ace Ops didn’t WANT to fight RWBY” Theory :3 anyways they all gang up on Penny and try to guilt trip her into coming back with them, Marrow, again <_>, saying “You have the power to stop this. Just take the Relic and give it to Salem and everything will be over.” which I find interesting that that’s what Ironwood wants to do because that just gets Salem that much closer to winning <_< God Ironwood is delusional >_>. But Ruby, Queen, says “Until Ironwood changes his mind about Mantle nothing is going to change!” and she’s right, why is a 17 year old girl smarter than 4 people in their late 20s, maybe early 20s for Marrow, who are higher ups in the military, and the leader of said military <_<

Congratulations it’s not just Ironwood I hate now. It’s everyone in Atlas, except Winter who we haven’t seen since last episode, but I know wouldn’t blame Penny for her condition. She’d blame Cinder. You know... The person’s who’s fault it is? Something the FNDM and Ironwood have in common: Blaming the heroes for something Cinder caused 😊 I know not everyone but still 

So Harriet mocks Ruby and the others and Penny steps in front of her friends, and outside of the room they’re in, and says “Leave her alone” and before Ruby can warn her, the door closes behind her. Which ALSO adds to my they don’t wanna fight RWBY theory .-. I mean I get that they wanted to isolate Penny and take her by force. But I mean hey... If you’re “The best huntsman in Atlas” you should able to take all 5 of’em probably right?  😊. ANYWAY, Then....... WE SEE PENNY USE THE MAIDEN POWERS! 😱😁 Penny fights the Ace Ops, by herself, QUEEN, and actually holds her own rather well considering it was 1v4. Vine gets close to the door but Penny says “You’re not hurting my friends!”, showing her loyalty to her new team ^_^. She holds her own, but y’can’t expect her to completely destroy them because, it seems like, the rest of the Ace Ops, Team HAZE as I’ve seen it called, has worked on their coordination since ‘holding back’ against RWBY.

While Penny fights the camera switches to the other side of the door with the rest of the team to see them trying to open the door, Weiss using her Arma Gigus to try and destroy the lock but it doesn’t work and Weiss calls the Ace Ops cowards, which they are, and the door won’t budge because of the electricity field around it. Electricity. Hmm... Who there likes lightning 🤔. Total mystery. 

Anyway while they’re trying to figure out how to open the door it goes back to the fight, with Penny more than holding her own with the Floating Array in conjunction with Maiden powers, but she’s still taking a lot of hits. Back in the room, Nora has a moment, repeating what she said before but with more confidence, “Be strong, and hit stuff.” before she sticks Magnhild into the lighting and takes ALL of it into her body, causing her body to actually get scars from the sheer amount of electricity she’s absorbing, and blows the door off, hitting the Ace Ops and getting them trapped under it. She says “That was pretty awesome.” before her Aura immediately depletes and she passes out. Penny rushes to her side worried as the Ace Ops push the door off of them. And then they all fight together, but something weird happens. Ironwood says something to HAZE that we don’t hear, and they say understood. And the fight continues, but it abruptly ends once Harriet grabs one of Penny’s swords. The Ace Ops leave afterward and Ruby and Weiss are like “That was suspicious 🤨”. Their attention immediately goes back to Nora though as May shows up with a plane to get them out of there.

Penny and Ruby talk on the plane and we finally see the famous hug that was in all the trailers :3 Penny says “It’s time for me to go isn’t it...” And is clearly upset about it. Ruby hugs her and tells her not to worry and they’ll see each other again. After another moment, Penny gets out of the plane and flies up to amity.

The episode ends with the Ace Ops giving Watts Penny’s sword that they took and Watts saying “If you can’t beat them... Make them join you.” and then credits.

Remember that bad bad thought I mentioned a few paragraphs ago? Well..... What if Watts makes Penny kill Pietro >_< Pietro and Maria are alone in Amity so they don’t have protection it’d be Penny with her Maiden powers vs 1 old man with a very damaged aura and one old woman who’s very out of practice >_> I don’t want it to happen >_< But it’s a possibility....... And Iiiiiiiii hate it <_<

Phew even if you have seen the episode I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped at the Tl;DR .-.

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issues 4&5

its delphi time babey

I'm sorry but drift & co look like such fuckin nerds on their scooter things on the cover lmaooo

oh god. seeing the first page just reminded me of how horribly confused i was for this whole little arc the first time i read it. i was like ok, who are all these new characters, and also why does everyone look so similar

anyways now i now what's going on. i love first aid

love the running continuity of rung being the literal only psychologist on cybertron (except for fr*id but that's later). no wonder everyone's fucked up they all have to share a single therapist 

ok i find it extremely funny that first aid was demoted from doctor to nurse, as if that's a thing that happens EVER - I mean it'd be one thing if first aid was a nurse practitioner (which i doubt is a position that exists here), at least that demotion would make sense, but like...the doctors i work with don't know how to do most nurse stuff (like BP, cathing, vaccinations, hell even using some of the thermometers - that's all stuff nurses/etc do), so demoting one to a nurse would be a disaster (just like promoting a really good nurse to a doctor would be a bad idea). anyways i know I'm being pedantic but it Be like that when you work in the medical field and read something that has medicine-related stuff in it

i love swerve giving ratchet the tiniest free drink ever lmaooo

is that skids being a rowdy drunk in the bg lmaoooo

unironically i love medical statistics. keep it comin

i love magnus’s giant sternal chestpiece thing. its like a bird’s sternum but without the massive pec muscles attached 

i love magnus and rodimus’s dynamic so much

oh pipes....im so sorry but this fun space adventure is going to be not so much fun for you

ratchets ideologies are certainly interesting, and i liked seeing how they changed over the course of the story

drift: why would i be SCARED of the DJD, I've got a SWORD, two swords even,

hvbhajkhfbsdjkf pipes really said ‘oi, you two - what's this, then?’ that's the most british fucking thing, that's literally something i say when I'm doing an overexaggerated british accent, oh my god,

PIPES IS SUCH A TINY DUMBASS. ILY SIR BUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING

aaaand now you're covered in dead bodies, pipes. look at your life, look at your choices

drift epic sword moments

drift confirmed for the kinda weird guy who has katanas that he uses to like, cut up fruit and water bottles in his backyard while rodimus films him

‘i thought i heard...bickering’ lmaooooo

ah, so its covid

this arc is how i feel working in healthcare lmaooo especially now that i probably have covid 

so rewind condensed the entire war into an 11 second long cringe compilation. nice

seeing the mechanical stuff past tailgate’s visor is so cool

poor tailgate, this guy is getting slammed with history from multiple sides. and like, bias is inevitable in ANY sort of recounting of events, especially controversial historical events, so poor tg just kinda has to take it all in and decide who to listen to 

that’s...not really how immunity works, guys. also, you shouldn't be exposed to so much disease with proper ppe usage

is there even such thing as ppe in the transformers universe?? there are fluid- and contact-transmitted illnesses, so there SHOULD be

is there even OSHA in this universe??????? unbelievable 

first aid, holding a giant fucking claw clamp: we haven't tried EVERYTHING............

first aid read a human wikihow article on how to jumpstart a car and took notes 

i love tailgate’s ‘mom says its my turn on the xbox’ pose 

tailgate has a point - he’s from pre-war times, where things weren't as grey so of course he would try to divide the two sides into ‘good guys’ and ‘bad guys’

CYCLONUS BE NICE DONT HIT UR FUTURE HUSBAND

go get some character development and then maybe you'll feel better

seeing the word quarantine is making me twitchy w/my possible month-long complete isolation quarantine on the horizon

drift pulling his swords on pipes and ratchet pushing down drift’s arms...lmao

poor pipes...even tho this is completely his fault, its still rough

also jesus, pharma and ratchet look so goddamn similar, reading this was so confusing the first time around 

drifts idea of subduing pipes involves turning into a cool car and also posing with his sword

also. never gonna be over drift’s massive thighs. jesus man

ooof now drift has the rona. ouch 

poor drift, his covid realization is getting overshadowed by pharma being flung around

first aid bustin thru w/the epic medical nipple clamps and some Big Boi Backup

ok that's an epic pre-beatdown speech from fort max right there, daym 

im just gonna continue on w/issue 5 now for continuity’s sake. yay!

the cover of tailgate in magnus’s autobot school is so cute

and we open with an incredible shot of fort max str8 up ripping a guy in half. i mean, to be fair, he DID just give an epic speech about how much he was gonna do that, and he certainly followed thru

yeahhhhh, fort max is not doing so well atm

when he puts that dudes head in his chest vent thing and then snaps it shut....man 

also i fucking LOVE when their faces are shaded all in black w/only the eyes/mouth fully drawn...fantastic stuff

ratchet: phew i am not equipped to deal w/this level of Fucked Up Mental Trauma. u good m8?

ratchet is already writing up a referral to rung for fort max as this is happening

drift is just laying on the ground dying like, oh hey yeahh I'm still here too 

i fucking love when punctuation is drawn in story - like here where first aid has a little ? over his head....fav

ratchet holding drifts hand ;_; 

ok tbh ambulon having switched sides 10 yrs ago is wild bc like, 10 years is barely any time for these guys, especially in a war that lasted 4 million years. that would be like a human switching sides in a war like, 3 months before it ends. probably. i sense some math bs, I'm just extrapolating here

all that mexican standoff shit is going down and first aid is just like But That's None Of My Business

ah so ambulon is an asymptomatic carrier 

and there's first aid with the save! iconic

pharma calling ratchet ‘buddy’ hbvakjdsbfhkasdf

ooooh i love that they figured it out - and i love that twist, that transforming is what triggers the start of symptoms. remember when drift turned into a cool car? yep

s/o to Ambulon Transformers for helping me in my medical terminology courses, bc now ill always remember: Leg(tm)

also this explanation makes a ton more sense (in universe, at least) than the whole ‘i guess we as medical staff have been exposed to enough Germz that we’re more immune to this or something’ theory 

ah, i love the meaningless (to me) alien robot medical jargon 

drift and ratchet hhhhhhhhh

‘I'm too wide’ fort max L O R G E

also once again drift is forgotten in favor of a bunch of other dramatic stuff happening vbhjksdfbjhskdf

godddd i love tailgates little flashbacks where we see how Important and Special he is, complete with his ‘bomb disposal’ arm label...augh its so good! 

and tailgate’s autopedia page even reflects his lies! like, did tailgate go edit that first thing upon waking up??? seriously, I'm fascinated by tailgate’s meticulous dedication to his fake life

also the fact that ultra magnus believes everything he read on autopedia is amazing lmao

ultra magnus: you think somebody would just go on the internet and tell lies? 

fuckgin love magnus’s long ass name/title placard 

tailgate hvbahjkdfbjhaskf i mean, he’s gotten the abridged version of everything else, of course he would assume that’d be the case here too...but not on magnus’s watch

magnus cant even say ‘fun’ hvukdasdbjfkjsadf i love my uptight law dad

love rung implying that upon questioning, he would easily divulge a patient’s name and maybe even information about said patient’s treatment while under him....love the disregard for patient confidentiality and hipaa in general 

not that hipaa seems to exist here, at least not in a fully realized form 

also i mean the above genuinely, i think rung’s tendency towards at least slight malpractice is very interesting 

poor red alert....super bad luck that HE was the guy to get roped up in that overlord business 

I'm glad that, at the very least, red alert was able to prove that he was Actually hearing something to rung, rather than get brushed off completely 

god magnus and tailgate’s interactions are golden 

also tg is much more sarcastic/quippy than anyone gives him credit for tbh

‘thought warfare,’ ultra magnus says with complete seriousness. god i fucking love this comic

now i can tell pharma apart from ratchet bc pharma has let his true Petty Bitch nature emerge and you can see it in his expressions

the whole ‘tarn is addicted to transforming’ thing didn't really go anywhere, right? i feel like i noticed that on my second readthru as well 

also pharma is such an interesting character given the context of him like, trying to strike a bargain w/the djd to keep them from destroying delphi, but that arrangement inevitably kinda making him lose it as the situation escalates. he’s also just really entertaining bc i feel like he kins the joker or st and probably gets into really heated arguments w/people on twitter about just abt anything

‘sound bomb’ i love this comic

another important facet of pharma’s character becomes clear around this time as well - how he’s really into ratchet. i also choose to read them as awful exes tbh, it makes their dynamic even more entertaining

‘killmaster, with the wand’ is one of my favorite running remarks lmao

also, was killmaster even a character before mtmte? or, if he was, was he an important one? it would crack me up the most if he literally didn't exist at all, but any way you spin it is still funny 

ratchet’s tiny humansona facing off against pharma is wild

‘I'm miles from anyone i truly care about’ brutal, ratchet, drift is dying like 2 floors away (im p sure)

SUDDENLY DRIFT IS HERE, ACTUALLY 

oh don't worry first aid, that sure isn't the last we’ll be seeing of pharma 

so like, did first aid save everyone by posting that data log to his wreckers fan blog or something? lmao love it 

i love the pretty fucked up reveal of ratchet having stolen pharma’s hands. like, damn dude. 

and that wraps up the delphi arc! our first true ‘arc’ of mtmte, and a fantastic one at that. short and snappy and fresh, with some very clever writing and cool new characters, and a lot of great plot threads to be picked up later. plus, we got to see the beginnings of drift and ratchet’s whole thing (and ratchet and pharmas whole thing). and the lost light gets some much needed extra medical staff, so everyone wins! 

well, we’ll see how fort max feels about this all pretty soon.....

[brightmoonprincess]

Scorpia/Adora Coffeeshop AU for @blackbyakko for the @sherawintergiftexchange! 

it’s very cheesy and rushed, but hope you like it!

paring: Scorpia/Adora rating: G length: 2.1k words

- - -

For my best friend Entrapta! Good luck on ur robot! (^ ᴗ ^)/

Since her first day working at the cafe, Scorpia has always written kind and encouraging messages onto every single customer’s cup. Sure, her coworkers complain about not being to find the name quickly enough when it’s time to call it out. And sure, sometimes the queue of customers get irritated by the longer wait...

But it’s fun! And it keeps people happy! It’s part of the reason why Scorpia loves her job. It makes the coffee shop feel more like family, rather than business.

For some quirky reason, Entrapta insists on her espresso being served in the smallest sample-sized paper cup that’s available. It’s made it difficult for Scorpia to write out her message on it. Her hands aren’t exactly danity, and neither is her penmanship. 

(These meaty claws were meant for sweet sweet loving, not for writing tiny tiny letters.) 

 The bulky, fluffy letters cover almost the entire surface area of the cup. The emoji at the end barely makes the cut, but she manages to squeeze it in.

“Another mini espresso, coming right up!” Scorpia says, setting the cup down at the end of the line of pending orders. “Hey, uh, Entrapta… Do you think you should slow down a bit?”

It’s the tenth coffee in a row that her eccentric pig-tailed friend has bought, and Scorpia is starting to worry about her caffeine intake… Can baristas start cutting people off? Or is that only a thing for bartenders?

“What? And waste my precious time unconscious when I could be working? Never!” Entrapta proclaims when the notion of “slowing down” is suggested to her. She’s practically vibrating.

Scorpia sighs. 

After Entrapta goes to wait for her drink, Scorpia takes the next customer’s order-- but she notices that her trusty marker is almost out of ink. Man, this things really go quick-- this is the third one this month!

“Mermista! Do you know where we keep the markers?” Scorpia calls out to the other side of the bar.

Her less enthusiastic coworker groans in response. “You do know that we’re getting paid minimum wage, right?”

Just as Scorpia is about to remind her about the importance of kindness and customer service. Mermista holds up her hands and says, “Hold up, forget I asked. I’m clocking out in two minutes.”

“Already? I thought you were working until closing with me!”

“Oh, right. You don’t know yet,” Mermista realizes. “We have a new girl. She started yesterday, and she’s taking over the rest of this shift.”

Scorpia’s eyes light up. A new coworker! This could be a new friendship opportunity! Not that Mermista isn’t great, but sometimes she can be a bummer when working. The Etheria Coffee Co family could stand to gain another member who has the same passion for the art of barista-ing that Scorpia has!

Right on cue, another person comes in from the back room. She greets them joyfully, “Hi!”

Immediately, Scorpia’s excitement turns into huge disappointment. 

Really? Really??? 

Of all the eligible working young women in this town, they just had to pick the most irritating person to ever exist, with the most obnoxious personality and the most ridiculous forehead-enlarging hair poof.

They make eye contact, Scorpia’s sharp glare battling against Adora’s wide-eyed surprise, and the two buff baristas say in union--

“Oh.”

/ / / / /

“Two non-fat peppermint mochas, a sixteen-ounce americano, a salted caramel latte, and a orange-mango-agave smoothie are on the bar!”

It’s been a week, and Adora is absolutely insufferable.

She somehow manages to make six drinks simultaneously, putting together even the most complex drink orders as if she’s made them all a million times before. It’s like she’s some kind of latte-making superhuman!

Of course, she’s great at the job. Why wouldn’t she be great at everything she does?!?! Grrr.

She even convinced Entrapta to drink decaf coffee for a while instead, telling her that it’s a missed opportunity to experiment with placebo effects of caffeine. Why didn’t Scorpia think of that?!

But the worst part?? Despite the fact that Scorpia has been working at the shop for two months, Adora keeps asking her if she needs help with something. It’s like she’s always looking for a reason to swoop in and play the hero, like someone needs her to save the day from coffee shop mayhem. It’s infuriating! 

And no, it has absolutely nothing to do with the Catra situation, thank you very much. Scorpia is irritated by all of this for completely unrelated reasons! Adora is a terrible coworker! That is the one and only explanation. 

“Phew! I’m glad the place is finally starting to slow down! How’s it going over there, Scorpia?” Adora asks.

When Scorpia doesn’t reply, Adora looks over at her, and she becomes concerned at the completely crushed cup in Scorpia’s clenched fist. “Er… Scorpia? Do you want to take a break? I can handle it from here. 

Oh here we go again. Scorpia doesn’t need Adora acting like she’s better than her all of the time! She is the furthest thing from a damsel in distress. And after the past week of having to tolerate all of this, Scorpia can’t take it anymore! 

“Alright, alright! We GET it, Adora! You can handle it! You can handle everything! Well, I, for one, don’t need your help!” Scorpia snaps, too loudly.

“What? I’m just trying to be nice!”

 “... W-o-w.” Mermista’s draws out her monotone reaction as she pokes her head in from the back room. “So can both of you, like, stop being weird and help me lift some of these boxes?”

Adora and Scorpia glare at each other, but-- now that it’s incredibly awkward and uncomfortable-- they silently agree to move on. For now. 

They follow Mermista to the back storage closet, where she directs them to a tall stack of boxes to carry out. They’re small but surprisingly hefty. Nevertheless, Scorpia lifts one onto her shoulder with ease. 

Adora picks up two.

So, naturally, Scorpia picks up three more.

Yes, in fact, this just became a weight-lifting competition. 

They keep at it for a bit, stubbornly matching the number of boxes that the other person is carrying until they’re huffing and wobbling around. But there’s no way Scorpia is backing out now! This is easy-peasy. The sweat on her forehead means absolutely nothing, except that maybe the air conditioner stopped working.

“Can you hold the door open for us?” Adora asks Mermista, her voice strained.

“Nope,” Mermista answers, swiftly closing the door.

“Uh,” Adora says.

“Um,” Scorpia echoes.

They give each other confused side-glances.

“Neither of you are leaving this closet until you learn how to at least pretend to like each other,” Mermista says calmly from the other side, followed by the sound of the door being locked. “I do not get paid enough to listen to you argue all the time.”

Adora sets down her boxes-- (phew, game over! Scorpia wins)-- and goes to jiggle the doorknob. “Mermista, this isn’t funny! Open the door!”

No response. 

She lets out a groan and turns to Scorpia. “What was that all about, anyways?”

The totally-innocently-and-not-petty-at-all barista shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You blew up at me for no reason!”

“I had a reason! Many reasons.”

“Like what?”

“Like... I just… I don’t need you coming here and beat me at this, too!”

Adora pauses for a moment. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Scorpia mutters. “It’s not the first time I’ve had to compete with you...”

So Adora asks the big question, “Is this... about Catra?”

“No!!! I mean, sort of! But not really! I just… ugh...” Scorpia sinks to the ground, cupping the sides of her face with her hands. “I’m over all of that-- really!’

Well, guess it’s out there now. If she dies in this cafe storage room, it might as well be with an honest heart. 

Although things didn’t work out between her and Catra, she really is over it! 

What she’s not over is how jealous Adora made her feel. Even if Catra and Adora are only friends, it didn’t feel great to be compared to someone... even if she herself was the one doing the comparison.

Scorpia tries to explain, “It’s more like... I don’t like being reminded that you’re better than me, ok? I know that it’s not a competition, but for some reason, I still feel like I’m always competing with you!”

Adora stays silent, unsure of what to say. 

“You’re really amazing,” Scorpia admits. Her cheeks redden. “I know you are, but you don’t have to rub it in…”

After a few moments of sitting in the awkward silence, Adora crouches down with her. “If we’re being honest… I think you’re more amazing than I could ever be.”

“What? Really?”

“Yeah, I do!” Adora insists. “I know we haven’t gotten along after the drama with Catra happened, but... I think you’re a good person! You’re strong, you’re loyal, and you genuinely care about people… You do kind things because you want to, not because anyone expects you to! I don’t even know if I can say the same for me...“

“Oh, uh…” Scorpia wasn’t expecting this. If she hadn’t been blushing already, she definitely was now. After all, Adora’s an honest person. She wouldn’t have said all of that if she didn’t mean it.

“It’s never been a competition,” Adora assures her.

Scorpia lets out a slow, shaky laugh. “... Ok, I might have been letting the past get to me. I shouldn’t take it out on you. I’ll get over it, I promise!”

Adora smiles at her. “Sooo does this mean that we’re friends now? Or at least friendly coworkers?”

“At least friendly coworkers,” Scorpia agrees with a grin. 

Adora stands up, offering her hand to help Scorpia up as well. “Now let’s get out of here!” 

She helps Scorpia up knocks on the door again.

… Still no response. Uh oh. 

“Uh… Mermista?” Adora calls out.

Scorpia wonders, “It was almost closing time when we came back here… She wouldn’t leave us in here overnight, would she?”

Oh no… she totally would. Scorpia can’t die in a coffee storage closet! She had so many plans! Who is going to water her plants? Who is going to inherit her motorcycle? Who will take over the duty of writing her signature coffee cup messages???

“I’m going to break the door down,” Adora announces.

“Wait, I don’t know if that’s the best idea--” Scorpia beings to tell her, but Adora is already preparing to throw herself at the door.

With a mighty battle cry, Adora rushes towards the door, shoulder braced for impact-- but just before she hits the wood, the door swings open to the other side. 

“Whoa there!” Scorpia lunges forward to catch Adora before she falls onto the floor. Who’s the hero now, huh?

“Two things,” Mermista says.

 “One, you’re not supposed to use your shoulder; you’re supposed to kick. You would know this already if you read Mer-mystery: The Vanishing Clownfish, like I told you to many many times.

“Two, I am not getting my pay docked because two idiots broke the door.”

/ / / / /

 It’s been a month, and work has been great! Once Scorpia let go of her gay pettiness, she and Adora have been getting along really well. She can’t believe that she used to hate her!

That isn’t to say that Adora doesn’t have her annoying moments-- she does-- but Scorpia feels like she’s learned a lot more about her. Once Adora gets more comfortable, she actually has a very silly, fun side. 

Like she does this really cute thing where she puts weird emphasis on some of the drink orders when she calls them out, like frapPUcciNO-- wait, cute? Uh. Scorpia meant funny. Funny and not adorable at all. 

Oh no. Not again.

Scorpia is finishing up a latte and sorting out her thoughts, when she notices Adora walking in through the front door.

“Oh, hey, Adora! Are you working today?”

“Hey, Scorpia! Ah, about that…” Adora says, “I came here to tell you that I’m quitting.”

“Aw, man… Really?” 

“I got a promotion at my other job,” Adora explains. “They gave me a lot more hours, so I don’t have enough time to work this one, too...”

“I didn’t even know you had another job!” Scorpia gawks. She hopes that Adora hadn’t been overworking herself this entire time. “But... congratulations!”

“Thanks! So... we can still be friends, right?”

“Of course!” Scorpia affirms. 

She’s happy for Adora, but she can also feel her heart sinking. A few weeks ago, she wished that Adora would quit-- but now... it’s heartbreaking. Talk about a one-eighty. She and Adora had the start of a beautiful friendship going on, and it sucks that it might come to an end. 

And now, after realizing how much she’s going to miss all of the time she’s spent with Adora... 

Scorpia also realizes something important.

“... Can I get you some coffee?” she asks Adora. “On the house!”

Adora grins back. “Sure!”

Alright. Here is it. Possibly the most important coffee cup message that she has ever written in her entire life! Gotta make it good!

Her heart is pounding, and she writes out:

For Adora, the best coworker I’ve ever had! (Don’t tell Mermista! )

(Also, want to go on a d       hang ou    maybe if you’re at all interested we could go out sometime? Together?)

<3

[readsky]

June 2020 Reads - Minireviews

5 books this month, including a BIG one. June was a bit slower; I am still not back in work and the weather was pretty terrible, so I didn’t get out much. Lockdown rules have been relaxed a bit, so we’ve had a few friends round that we haven’t seen since Feb. Was nice to just have a few drinks and play some card games (Exciting!). Now, to the mini-reviews!

The Eye of the World (Robert Jordan) I wasn’t planning on reading this, but one of my friends has been telling me to read it for years now. I’ve heard all the “it’s just LOTR fan fic/rip-off”, so I put it off since there’s always so much more original content on my reading list. Then I randomly found it in a charity shop for £2. I took it as a sign that I should read it, and I’m really glad I did! A group of young lads discover that they are being targeted by some very scary and dangerous folk, and set off on a quest with a warrior and a powerful female warrior-mage to find out why the forces of darkness are rising and why they are so interested in them. Are there a ton of LOTR parallels? Yes. Does it feel like Robert Jordan just wanted to be a modern-day Tolkien? Yup. But did I care? No. I recently started reading The Lord of the Rings (I reviewed The Fellowship of the Ring a few months ago), and god damn is that shit a slog. It took me MONTHS to read The Fellowship. I think the only way I could sum up The Fellowship is “dense, whilst simultaneously lacking in detail”. I finished TEOTW in exactly 2 weeks, and while it is dense, the story flowed well, most of the characters are interesting, there’s some badass ladies and there’s enough genuinely well-developed mystery surrounding the characters that I’m very keen to keep reading (although 14 x 800 page books is a lot of reading time to devote to one series, but we’ll see how it goes!). So, was TEOTW special or unique? Nope, but I found it an easy and entertaining read despite its size, and it was different enough from LOTR to keep me interested. Very good. 4/5

Broken Stars: Contemporary Chinese Science Fiction in Translation (Translated by Ken Liu) I’ve already used a bit of my blog to wax lyrical about how great Ken Liu is. And I’m going to do it again! He’s great! What a guy! In this follow up to Invisible Planets, Ken has picked 16 more short sci-fi stories (and some with fantasy elements) written by some wonderful Chinese authors and again translated them for English speakers. This is just as strong a collection of stories as the ones picked for Invisible Planets and just as varied in their ideas and themes. Particular highlights include Baoshu’s What Has Passed Shall in Kinder Light Appear which is a kind of historical fiction where time for the characters progresses linearly, but major world events such as the Second World War and the Chinese Cultural Revolution are happening in reverse. This instalment also includes some more fun stories, such as Fei Dao’s The Robot Who Liked To Tell Tall Tales which is a really cute story about a King known as the biggest bullshitter in the kingdom, but doesn’t want to die with that reputation, so sends a robot out into the world with the mission to become a bigger bullshitter than the King. And finally, Ma Boyong’s The First Emperor’s Games is a short and fun read that will delight anyone with an interest in video games. I enjoyed every minute of this book and hope Ken will continue to bring Chinese sci-fi to western readers. 5/5

Daughter of Smoke and Bone (Laini Taylor) This was another charity shop find (50p!). Looked like fantasy (judging book by its cover, I know!) and then saw that Patrick Rothfuss had given it a glowing review. Turns out it was well deserved. Karou is an art student studying in Prague and seems relatively normal to her friends. However, she moonlights as an assistant to demonic beings who brought her up after she was orphaned, collecting teeth for a purpose she does not yet know. After a chance encounter with an angel, she finally finds out the truth. This is a beautifully written book. The writing is so visual, and it was extremely easy to picture the characters and their surroundings. The way the author describes Prague made me want to jump on the next plane and go. If I were any good at drawing, I would probably have had a go at creating some fan art. My only gripe would be that I’m not a fan of over-the-top, unobtainable, supernatural type romance, and the last half of this book is exactly that. However, once you start to realise what an important element this is to story, you do start to forgive it. Fast-paced and beautifully written. 4/5

The Book Thief (Markus Zusak) I don’t read a lot of historical fiction, so this was different for me. Since I mainly read fantasy, there’s always a certain “epic-ness” to everything I read. The Book Thief is not epic, but that doesn’t detract from this beautiful story based on some of the most tragic events of the last 100 years. The story follows Liesel, a young girl who is forced to live with foster parents after her own are taken to a Nazi concentration camp during WW2 for being identified as communists. This is a story of her growing up in a poor town just outside Munich and the stories of the people she meets along the way (and her growing obsession with stealing books). But to give it a bit of quirkiness, the story is narrated by Death himself. This was probably my favourite aspect of this story, as it gave an “alternative” view of Death. Death is extremely thoughtful and talks in a manner of helping people “cross-over”. I imagine that the author didn’t have the stereotypical black cloak and scythe combo that we usually picture Death to look like. The vast array of characters makes this book an endearing one and it is one I will not soon forget. 4/5

Senlin Ascends (Josiah Bancroft) I would have to put this into my most unexpected reads category. I’m finding it hard to compare to anything. Thomas Senlin is a school headmaster and all-round fuddy-duddy. He keeps to himself and never gets into any trouble. When he eventually marries Marya, a beautiful, fun, and upstanding young woman, eyebrows are raised. They decide to spend their honeymoon visiting The Tower of Babel, a marvel of modern-day engineering with unique societies on every floor. A tower so tall, no one can see the top and no one can actually confirm how high it is. Senlin has learned everything he knows about The Tower of Babel from a visitor’s guide that describes it as a utopia; the pinnacle of modern and civilised society. However, when they arrive Senlin immediately loses Marya in the dense crowds just outside the tower and he quickly learns that this place is as far from utopia as it gets. This is extremely unique science fiction with steampunk elements throughout, and follows the change in Senlin’s personality and outlook as he ascends through the tower, desperately trying to find his wife. I will admit to feeling a bit deflated about this book about halfway through. The lack of strong and/or independent female characters had me worrying and it seemed to be turning into a “save the damsel in distress story”. However, I was breathing a sigh of relief as I approached the conclusion of the book. Not every female character was a victim! Phew! Overall, a great start to this series and I’m looking forward to reading the second book. 4/5

[trh-thesussexes]

HRH The Duke of Sussex Interviews Dr Jane Goodall For The September Issue

[a-haunted-sock]

Okay I have to get this idea out of my brain before I forget it, so I’m just gonna write it here.

Oof this got long! Have a cut of some pie ;p

A post-s8 plance fic where Pidge, as the star programmer of the Voltron vehicle program, finds one day that she needs a certain piece of hardware/software for one of her projects that no one seems to have anywhere. Frustrated, she goes into the bowels of the Garrison to do the job herself and comes across a very old computer with an AI. Curious as always, Pidge boots it back up and discovers that the AI (idk his/it’s name, doesn’t matter) was used for *insert reason here* and was ultimately left in disrepair as the years went on and is oh SO GLAD someone decided to reboot him again!

Pidge finds the AI funny and charming despite knowing that it’s only a computer and begins to sneak into the Garrison basement to talk to it after hours. She tells it everything: being a paladin of Voltron, the amazing adventures she’s been on and the things she’s seen (think Olkarion etc.), her friends and subsequent loss of Allura and, yes sports fans, her feelings for Lance. Eventually, Pidge rigs some kind of computer that can interface with this AI so she can bring him up to have around while she works during the day time. Over time, Pidge begins to talk more to the AI than her family and friends and everyone’s worried for her. Doesn’t she remember that the AI isn’t human? Even Chip is starting to feel neglected! There should be a lot of isolation from other people in this first part.

After this time goes on, there’s some sort of reunion party at the Garrison so the whole cast is back and that means Lance too. He’s happy to see everyone and interested in what the Holt family is up to with the Defenders project. When he sees pidge again he notices the AI popping up on every available screen around her and constantly butting into their conversation, whatever that is. Lance finds it weird but Pidge assures him that the AI is actually a pretty rad dude once you get to know him so lance is like ok if you say so but let’s hang out some more somewhere else. The AI immediately gets defensive and begs them not to leave, to stay where he can “see” them.

The reunion party lasts a while (let’s say a week) and maybe it’s like open house for the Defenders project so lots of people are strolling the property. Pidge and Lance spend most of their free time together, and he sits in her lab and watches her work. They seem to be warming back up to each other and the AI does not like this. But being a....being that does not have mobility, he/it can’t do much about it other than letting Pidge know that he does not approve of such a dimwitted man taking up Dr. Holt’s valuable time. Time that would be much better spent with him changing the universe. Pidge rebukes him, saying that Lance is an old friend and she’s happy that he seems to be recovering from the shock of losing Allura and she’s more than pleased that he....wants to spend time with her (said w/ a blush obv). The AI scoffs, says that if he didn’t know any better, he’d say Pidge had feelings for this ugly boy.

One night instead of hanging out with her newfound technological companion, pidge goes out to hit the town w/ lance but it’s absolutely not a date and when she comes back, she happily informs the AI that Lance might be staying permanently, if he accepts her proposal of becoming a flight instructor at the Garrison. She cheerfully wishes the AI goodnight and leaves. This is the last straw for the AI. He wants to finally show Pidge that he can give her anything a scummy biological man can and interfaces with ALL the garrison’s tech in the dead of night to build himself a physical android body. Next day, upon opening up for the work day, Pidge notices all the monitors and screens in her vicinity begin to light up as the AI until she turns around and is shocked to see a rather handsomely built (no pun intended) new robot and is subsequently shocked that it’s the AI. “How do you like it? It’s so I can better assist you!” he claims, as if Chip isn’t right on Pidge’s heels glaring at him. Pidge finally puts her foot down, telling the AI that he has gone too far and is stepping out of bounds by doing something like this uninitiated and demands that he go back into his original computer in the basement or she’ll deactivate him herself. The AI acquiesces after a fight, but secretly when he slinks downstairs, he’s only stalling.

No one sees the AI for the rest of the day and that night, it’s the final party of the reunion before everyone leaves. Que the AI coming in disguise to dance with Pidge and finally tell Lance off. Once the jig is up, the AI resorts to Plan B and kidnaps Pidge down to the basement of the Garrison, where he has rigged the system to lock them in permanently. All of team Voltron rush after them and while they’re stopped for a while by the locked doors, Lance hatches some sort of plan to disable the AI, but he is too concerned for Pidge’s safety and comes up w/ some way of getting into the main chamber (probably vents or whatever).

Meanwhile the AI is unloading all his feelings onto his Dr. Holt. “You don’t understand how long I’ve been stuck down here! With nothing and no one to talk to! And finally, I see the light of day and a kind face....your face. Pidge...Katie, you’re perfect. I need you with me; think of what we can achieve together!” And Pidge saying something along the lines of “but you’re not human. I can’t live like this, away from the people I love.” There’s some kind of threatening on the AI’s part, blackmailing pidge into staying, citing hurting lance specifically. Before she can respond, a bullet ricochets off of the AI’s android body and with a battle cry, Lance comes busting in. “You can’t keep her here! She needs her family!” “And you?” the AI scoffs.

The climax obviously involves something like lance distracting the AI while pidge can get to the master computer to hack it and shut it down. There should be a moment where the AI scoffs at whatever Lance is talking about in reference to Pidge’s happiness being taken away by being abducted and reveals what Pidge did for Lance’s happiness “Do you know what she gave up? What happiness she sacrificed? And for what? Your happiness?” Lance is stunned into silence and looks at Pidge. By looking at her, he unfortunately gives away what she’s doing behind the AI’s back. With the jig up, and the two of them are backed into a corner, they do the only thing they can: find something large and heavy nearby and smash it together into the console, thus destroying the AI’s brain and rendering everything dark. Covered in oil and dust, clinging to each other, Pidge says “so Lance, still want to come and stay permanently?” He laughs. “With you? At least I know I’ll never be bored!” There’s a pause and then “Why would you give up that game?” “Because it would make you and Allura happy. That’s what I really wanted.” Lance freezes and then dives down to kiss her fiercely. When the kiss ends, he says “Well, I think we’re even steven now. Maybe we should work on each other’s happiness together?”  And end scene.

Phew that got long-winded! This is what happens when you’re listening to the Phantom of the Opera OST on repeat ad nauseum and come up with ridonc ideas for self-indulgent fics like these omg but I had to get it off my chest. And now that I think about it, this insane AI sounds a lot like the one from that dcom movie Smart House hahaha

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 6 - Meat Page 16

==>  (Whoa, went a long while before splitting posts, there.  Dangerous, with how often I’ve lost stuff to Tumblr page reloads in the past.)

Oh, you’ve realized Zazzerpan’s relevance as foreshadowing for the trolls or whatever, Rose?

Oh my god, PLEASE don’t put Rose inside a fucking robot.  >:|

Oh SHIT wait.  That one wizard Roxy named her cat after who wanted all the knowledge in the world, got overloaded and then crushed by the giant textbook or whatever???  That’s disturbingly Rose-similar here.  D:

Rose, puns.  Please.

Hm, you think it applies to you all now instead of the trolls?  Huh.  Do you think some of you might become villains and get Just deaths?

..Huh, wait.  Numerological significance?  Are we actually learning what 413 means?  Or learning that it was meant to be bullshit all along instead?  I’m “Hmmm”ing loudly either way...

Ow, ouch.  So a Light player wasn’t designed to properly live outside of canon significance, or??

Ooh.  She’s not sure that if she opens herself up to all the knowledge of her other selves, that it’d be “her” anymore.  A pretty legitimate fear... and one Dirk is perfectly disposed to disabuse her of.  As a Heart player, he’d understand better than most that the entire combination of one’s various states over all timelines IS you, and the unique direction your will and uniqueness embodies across whatever it touches.  Or something.

...Wait, wait a minute.  Before I keep reading........ I didn’t actually CLICK the candy button yet.  What if Candy just redirects to AO3 or something.  Like, the candy bit is all of our fanfics.  Oh jeez.

Okay reading on before that possibility drives me insane.

DIRK: I’m not sure anyone should be allowed to have that much foresight. Especially a guy like me.

...Mhmm, especially since in part that’s how we got Doc Scratch, yeah.

Reading to the end of this page, and........

Yeah, what the FUCK just happened.

So... is this Dirk BEING a villain?  Doing some sort of weird almost cherubic Eye thing to kind of supplant Rose as he becomes a Scratch-like fanfic narrator or... Let me reread these last few paragraphs a couple times...

Is he really sort of “puppeteering” Rose?  Is this like the birth of a god-tier villain or just a temporary respite he’s giving her sort of underhandedly for an actual good cause to help her out of her situation??  Or is “death” or a death of the self the actual solution he had for her mess???  I mean... the metatextual awareness bit that he’s speaking through in the last sentence is clearly something like what comes of ascending completely and going beyond the story to be able to write it like Caliborn or Doc Scratch might or... y’know what, fuck it.  I’ll understand it in later pages.  I have to keep reading if this is going to make sense to me.

This next button better not lead straight back to the fucking selection screen again.

==>

Oh shit, a giant Dirk section.  Only fitting that he might have been writing most of this all along possibly.

Undercurrent of narrative significance.  Oh shit.  Is he going to go off about Light, about the story parts not mattering?  Or that the fact that this IS a story and... from what I accidentally skimmed in sentences below before reading further, how we’re trapping them in a story by reading it or something???  Hence the idea that their existences are being “blighted” by the subtext of narrative significance, and would be better FREE of it?

Huh.  Is this really going to work?  As, like... a body slam of people who were too caught up in the forest of narrative purpose to see into the trees of the point he wanted to make with the finale?  It’s practically Andrew talking to the audience from within the story about their frustrations, heh.

Yeah, this whole rant is pretty awesome so far.  I forgot to mention it a few paragraphs ago, but when you look at the story list, the Epilogues are listed as “stories of dubious authenticity”, so is this whole thing like... how DIRK might have written the ending out?  Just to emphasize further that this whole thing is kind of pointless compared to the infinite possibility that was the reward for their escape from the confines of such story-stuff?

Cool.  Sounds like we’re seeing the “good end” that Dirk would have written for this story if he were to write one that still answers plotlike questions, or something similar to it.  That and/or he’s also engineering things in-canon -- or as “canon” as the victory planet is -- to follow all this for the end result he has in mind, and it comes across as practically Doc Scratch-y in the way it ties in metatextual awareness and stuff.  Either way, it DOES feel like Andrew might successfully be making his point.

==>

Pff.  This is going to be a bit interesting.  And, of course, unstuck-in-canon John can hear the narrator speaking.

And now John has ANOTHER story to get annoyed at the narrator of, heh.

The tooth is poisoned? Really? Did you just make that up or?

Okay, why suddenly the wallet, fanfic writer? Is he going to find touching pictures or just captchalogue the black hole?

This is all starting to feel a whole lot less serious, and I can’t help but figure that’s the intent.

==>

Pff, back to the B plot.  Yay Jade!  --Please don’t be metatextually aware like John and let’s get more actual story.

Phew, seems to be the case

...Is Karkat going to remake this post-scarcity society to be more Communist? Is that where we’re going here?

Alright, Roxy’s gonna be all voidy and Neutral and not want an impact on the election, from the sound of it?

GAAAHHH Jade is in love with all her friends and afraid of being alone.  AAAH FEELS

--Oh huh, so because Jane’s been in the distance putting on the Perfect act she thinks she has to pull, she’s gone down in her friends’ opinions even if that isn’t really her???  That’s pretty reassuring as an alternative, actually.  Leave it to Roxy to see everything crystal goddamn clear as usual.

Ooh, pronoun mishap.

Holy SHIT Roxy’s gonna go along with it.  That’s nonbinary-awesome!  And Dirk’s just fucking flabbergasted, I love it.

Pff, Dirk’s screwing it up outside too

yep, everyone ectobiologically had kids with everyone, really.

Oh, ow.  Something about the whole black hole green sun thing is fucking with her.  That, or, like...  Huh, might the whole metatextual ascension thing mean that she actually BECOMES that other Jade floating about for a hot minute, the one in the A-side plot??

==>

Ow this excellent narrative is pretty painful.  Like, empathetically inducing pain through really good description of pain and angst.  Ow.

Oh shit, alt!Calliope has a plan.  Maybe she’s able to use this black hole to re-begin Paradox Space and close the loop once everything’s absorbed or something, and needs a Jade’s help for it?

==>

Phew, some relative silliness with some of the others.  That vivid description of a Jade’s suffering was starting to give my stomach a cramp.  Actually, ANY vivid description of Jade’s suffering gives my stomach a cramp.  Or any allusion to it, even, heck even without WORDS.  I saw a Jadey song redux show up on my Youtube dashboard a few nights ago and had to turn it off after less than thirty seconds because I was about to throw up listening to the tune and staring at the image from my stomach clenching SO HARD.  I am WAY too attached to Jade in particular to tolerate her suffering without serious emotional feedback on my part.

Okay, breathe.  Breathe deeply, and keep reading...

....PFF, yes, Karkat.  Finally acknowledge it’s disgusting.  Birth is disgusting from any species really.

Yaaaay Kanaya! :)

Pfffff, Dave does record scratches with his hands mid-conversation like a fucking dab.  He would.

KANAYA: I Am Impressed That You Managed To Be Seen In Front Of That Many People Without Spontaneously Bursting Into Flames

I’m laughing

We internalize and project the quality in very different ways, however, which is why I’m going to win.

Win?!????

Win WHAT, the election???  Is that your only grand plan or... I mean fuck, way to be Doc-Scratch-like ominous!  Reading on...

...Yeah, Feferi was definitely a proto-Fascist too.  :)

Oh, huh. “Power Corrupts In Small Steps”... is this whole President thing going to be a big-ass metaphor for gaining your God powers without abusing them?? And pointing out that Jane is hella abusing her status in a way that COULD become villainous if it goes too far?  Victory is supposed to give you the ability to create a universe, but you’re not necessarily supposed to lord over it with an iron fist...

KARKAT: WHEN I HEAR ABOUT HOW HUMAN GRUBS CHEW THEIR WAY OUT OF THE FEMALE MATESPRIT’S ABDOMINAL HOLE BEFORE CONSUMING THE WOMB MEMBRANE IT MAKES ME WANT TO VOMIT.

Pffffffff

KANAYA: He Is Beloved In The Troll Kingdom For His Perky Ass DAVE: seriously? KARKAT: I TOLD YOU IT’S NOT JUST ME! KANAYA: It Has Some Terrible Arcane Power KANAYA: I Have Never Seen Anything Like It

I am laughing out loud here

pff dave’s doubtlessly imagined this at least as much as the rest of us

YESSS make fun of ship names some more, especially the ship names I’m not a fan of even though I’m such a fan of the pairing :D

KANAYA: Im Going To Call My Wife And You Are Going To Stop Talking

Why do I love that sentence so much.  Is it just because it has the word wife in it.  Probably.

At the other side of the cavern, Dave and Karkat bicker about what their combo kids would look like, in the event that they decided to stop being such laughable wusses and began fornicating like two cartoon animals of different species who have given into their lust.

Pffff.  Yeah, Dirk would put it that way.

Pffffff.  Not as adept at handling all sides of the story at the same time as you were as part of Doc, eh?

==>

Reading reading reading... Oh, adorable, he tried to slip a fish pun into Meenah’s name but couldn’t think of one.

...Oh SHIT, is he going to give Meenah the ring of life she wanted??? :D

Oh pff, that works too.  :D

==>

Okay, time for maybe at least a SLIGHT explanation of whatever the FUCK Dirk might have or might not have done to Rose or something????

...Huh.  What exactly are you trying to “fix” about Kanaya and Rose’s relationship, Dirk?  Something that didn’t fix itself with just the two of them together?

I mean...... Rose’s substance abuse never fixed itself when it was just two of them together on the first-run meteor.  And she’s been taking pills and trying to stave off her destiny out of fear while her wife hasn’t really been digging into her insecurities... I mean maybe he has a point.

SHADOWS around her??????  D:

==>

Yeah yeah, John drifting.  I just remembered what one of those “server beacons” they were mentioning actually is, too, visually.  Knowing it had an escape route helped.

What are you even gonna do with the slippers, gift them to Terezi when she comes flying in?  (Also, right, just remembered he’s a Breath player so it’s only natural that he actually finds whatever there is to find “coincidentally” around here, like that wallet.)

Ooh, you REALLY were thinking about Terezi over the past years from the sound of it.  And here she is or whatever.  :)

1 C4N ST1LL TOUCH TYP3 1N H3R L33T SP34K W1THOUT 4NY 4SS1ST4NC3 3XC3PT C4PS LOCK ON 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS  >:]

==>

Okay okay okay wait.  Her shadow is talking??? Is this, like... Jungian shadow stuff? Inversion shadow stuff?  What the fuck is going on.  It better not be Inversion-related.

Let me read that again.

Her shadow has faded to light behind her, assuming the shape of a Rose-like apparition. I nod to her, and she continues. When she speaks, it’s almost as if it’s the apparition that’s doing the talking.

That’s weird and I don’t entirely know what it means. I’d better just keep fucking reading.

Fun philosophical banter.  I didn’t know what “Hegelian dialectics” were until I read some big rant on someone’s Fallout New Vegas playthrough earlier last month.

ROSE: I think free will is a thing, sure. DIRK: Are you sure about that? ROSE: ... DIRK: Haven’t we spent the entire day having a feelings jam on how none of us got here by accident?

Ah, here we’re going with some Ultimate Riddle-y stuff.

Or wait, are we adding a bit on to that concept now?  Because it now seems like a large PART of the Ultimate Riddle stuff I covered (FUCK dropbox for breaking all the images) that might be revealed in this part of the damn epilogue is the whole the-only-way-to-have-true-free-will-is-to-escape-the-narrative-imposed-on-us or something along with the rest of it.

Hm, that whole “become One God” bit that Dirk ranted about in the beginning of one of the John sections... is that his ambition here?  I didn’t comment on the rantparagraph earlier because the “one” part of it threw me as possibly just some philosophical stuff he was musing about, but it’s like... I mean Dirk is the narrator right now, and it sounds like he wants to *BE* the narrator.  Like, become the one truly in control of this whole story.  With his orange Andrew-colored text or whatever.  Is that what he meant by “win”, winning control of the entire narrative, turning everyone else in the story into mere extensions of himself that he was “writing” by virtue of being the only author?

And him getting thwarted in that task, showing that it’s better if there really is NO narrator and the characters can do whatever they imagine in infinite branches and our imaginations, is the victory that proves the point of the story.  Or something.  Hmm.

Also, huh.  Like... I mean that IS a natural extension of a Prince of Heart if he were to turn to villainy.  A grand ambition to destroy everyone’s individuality until they’re nothing but Himself.  Right?

DIRK: Your Ultimate Self, that which is revealed when the mind’s partitions are stripped away, and all potentiality of who you are and what you could have been flow together. DIRK: Those are the experiences and processes that are refusing to stay bundled, that’s what your body can’t endure. The unbundling itself is your mind coming apart. DIRK: Because you’re not as strong as me. Not yet. DIRK: But you can be. DIRK: I’m working on that.

Because she’ll “BE” you?  Because you’ll be everyone?  Hm.

DIRK: But for now, I’m focused on stabilizing you with my own expanding consciousness. DIRK: It’s enveloping you now, in a way you can’t see. Keeping your thoughts solid, your identity anchored to your physical form as it strains to hold itself together. DIRK: You can’t see it, what I’m talking about. But I can help you. DIRK: I can help you see what I see, if only for a little while. DIRK: All you have to do is open your eyes. DIRK: Maybe what you see will help you through this.

Okay so maybe this all ain’t TOTALLY fucking sinister.  Just partially.  Hmm.

I’m not going to describe what she sees. First of all, that would be spoiling it. Unless you already know, in which case, I guess what’s taking place here qualifies as something closer to dramatic irony. But if you really want to see it for yourself, stop what you’re doing, flip the whole thing over, and begin again. I’ll be right here when you get back, waiting. Trust me, no one’s going anywhere.

Hahahahah.  So the candy part IS written.  I mean I was pretty sure, but it’s nice to have it acknowledged here.  Pretty awesome.  I won’t stop here to read it, I’ll get to the candy part eventually as a nice dessert.

All she needs is a nudge in the right direction.

We’re family. We belong together. And after years of micromanaging the inconsistent and confused desires of total imbeciles, wouldn’t it be a relief to have someone by my side who understood me?

Stop being so incestuous.  Dirk, you’re just getting off on the CONCEPT of incest being part of the flavor of all this, aren’t you.  That’s why you kept pushing things this way, you want it to be as uncomfortable as possible.

...wait, yeah he’s just talking about being a metatextual ascended, isn’t he.

Her body should be dead now.

I’M SORRY WHAT THE FLYING FUCK.

And Rose has... what, ascended but somehow given in to Dirk’s puppeteering of existence, or?  Ugh.

Next post, I wanna keep reading already to get through all this bullshit.  Then once I’ve figured it all out, I can rest comfortably back with the Candy side which Rose practically just promised me is potentially TOO SUGARY which is really enticing as a prospect.

[kaiayame]

post s8 thoughts

the good, the bad, the mixed. 

the good

the marketplace at the garrison in ep 1! i’m a sucker for a marketplace. and allura got to go shopping!!

romelle was back! her hair was cute. 

i think the tone of the first episode was actually a really smart one to start the season on. i’m glad they jumped a few months (or was it a year?) since the end of last season. 

pidge and allura got some good bonding time in general this season. pidge giving up her game for allura was cute. and then when they were together on that planet where the olkari had lived, that was strong. 

pidge being upset about the loss of the olkari, lamenting over “how much more they had to offer us” was solid. i think they spent too much time on it, but the sentiment of mourning all the good that a people could’ve given the universe if they hadn’t been lost was solid. 

omg listen. keith and lance. literally sat together. just the two of them. watching a FREAKING sunset. and keith, in my opinion, basically said the nicest things anyone has ever said about lance to his face, and it felt like a confession of feelings from keith’s end tbh. the writers did that. they know that they did that. and it happened. it was real and so, so soft. i had to stand up in front of the tv while i was watching, clutching a pillow and screaming a bit. 

i think the amount shiro and coran were utilized throughout the story felt balanced. shiro especially has dominated so much of the story over the seasons, and even tho i love him, it felt nice to kind of have him become somewhat less of a focus. 

i think the episode where they got trapped in the ship with the monster was fun! did you see how crazy lance went when keith got stuck in that room with it?? 

the carnival episode!!! I love a good carnival setting :) i like that they all wanted to get something for allura.

the day 47 episode was also cute, imo. I thought it was clever. I loved kinkade! the overall concept could’ve gone really badly but it felt creative enough to me. I wish it had focused more on just the paladins, but still.

all of the MFE pilots actually didn’t annoy me this season, yay. 

veronica and axca had super gay vibes.

keith and axca didn’t happen! *throws confetti*

lance got called a genius by his fellow paladins! and they meant it! 

we got to see them all in their under suits and out of their paladin armor!

that short bit where Hunk made the recovered alteans food from their home world? I think that was actually more powerful and potent than the writers even intended. I thought that was really well handled and not heavy handed and had a lot of weight to it. 

the bit before the final battle with keith and lance alone at the war room table...................... prime, prime content. THEY HELD. HANDS. there was a CLOSE UP. i’m still living off of it. another “lost my shit” moment. favorite scene of the entire season. 

there was some genuinely good moments of humor. keith had some especially funny moments, i laughed out loud a few times, tho i can’t name anything super specific atm.....

it was nice that they tried to really work in the idea that unity is what’s important, and the best unity is built through love, and differences shouldn’t tear us apart and we are always stronger together, etc etc.... i think that was obviously the writers referencing our society’s current climate to some extent, so i appreciated them at least trying to touch on that, however generic and vague it was. 

they had some good new outfits this season?? it was nice to see the paladins in so many different clothes. and a lot of the garments were really cute!!

i like how often keith urged them to not give up. I think that’s another strong theme that’s existed throughout the series. it just strikes a personal note with me. i like how far keith has come as a character in general.

pidge’s mom making that flower for allura?? very sweet. 

i liked all of lance’s reactions to anyone mentioning someone having an interest in keith, haha. Obviously, i’m projecting, but still. 

i think the concept of ALL realities being threatened was actually great, because otherwise idk why they would’ve brought up there being other realities in the first place. the significant level of what was at stake with that being what the paladins were dealing with was a good choice. 

keith turning down becoming the new head of the galra. phew, thank you @god.

as always, studio mir is the lord’s animation studio and so much of the visuals were so excellent. can’t wait to see their future projects.

and honestly, it’s been fun. it’s been a fun show. it’s had a ton of problems but i cannot deny that i have seriously enjoyed watching a lot of it as a whole. 

i guess technically they did end the show on a gay kiss. 

the bad 

i’m not even that personally upset but it just goes to show how important an ending is. how a story leaves you makes such a significant impression. it’s probably the most important part of a narrative and OMG THESE WRITERS DO NOT KNOW HOW TO WRAP THINGS UP AT ALL, IT’S SO FUNNYYYYY.

so anyway, yeah........ episode 13.......................... what. 

like wtf was ep 13. 

what.

what even WAS THAT. PEOPLE got PAID to write THAT. 

lance became... altean? can that.... happen? also........... why???

and a farmer?? a simple life?? where did that even come from??? like sure, lance was homesick and missed rain one time. that doesn’t.... it just..... that doesn’t mean he should just be a random farmer?????? whose gf died, i guess??

speaking of that, OMG they fucking KILLED ALLURA. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. WHAT A DUMB CHOICE. I’M STILL LAUGHING. I HAD NO EXPECTATION THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN. WOULD NEVER HAVE EXPECTED THAT. AND YET IT DID. WTF. HOW CAN YOU MAKE SUCH A DUMB WRITING CHOICE. HOW???

and the fact that they didn’t even EXPLAIN why honerva & allura had to do whatever it is they did????? criminal. ridiculous. 

and all that aside, allura and coran’s relationship was so important and so special and the fact the she and him didn’t get a goodbye? garbage. unbelievable. 

and to add to that, all of her goodbyes were underwhelming. shiro being like “you don’t have to thank me for anything” umm, what. yes she does. you did a lot. wtf, what was with that?

like i love allura, but also, why was the ending SO FOCUSED on just her?? And by that, i mean including the choice to kill her off. VLD has always been about the group. It just was a weird vibe to end on for many, many reasons. The ending should’ve been about her and the rest of them recognizing how they were more than just friends or paladins. They were family... like ALL THE WRITERS HAD TO DO was have them all together at the end?? I’m not even joking. That needed to be the ending, point blank...... AND THEY COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT. WHYYYY

ok moving on but still related, I HATE slideshow endings like that, in pretty much anything that isn’t a documentary or historical drama. I feel like it’s such a cop out. Writers should find confidence and end their story on a specific note. Not a series of slides.

as i was watching ep 13, tbh, the title got me excited. “the end is the beginning” made me feel like they were somehow going to get thrust back in time for a brief second to the moment they all met at the garrison, or met allura and coran, and somehow that was going to get pulled into the finale as a way they could re-establish all the destroyed realities.... so i guess this is my own fault for just hoping for something that wasn’t there, but whatever.

i think lotor and zarkon also got some really undeserved positive recognition. like, they both killed a LOT of people... some things are just too little too late. 

lotor coming “back” was also like, half assed. it was weird. it would’ve made more sense for honerva to start jumping through different realities earlier in the season “looking” for a version of her son and husband that she could be with. 

too many big robots. like..... so many different kinds of big robots. i couldn’t care less. 

as always, a lot of the fight scenes were repetitive as hell. I wish they’d been more creative and written them taking on different approaches rather than just charging at the bad guys.  

WHERE IS MY FORMAL WEAR EPISODE

sorry to hate on allurance, but like, neither lance or allura felt like their actual selves whenever they were together or trying to be a couple... it was weird and sad. Lance barely ever acted like himself this season. 

I thought they threw krolia around a bit too casually. Like she barely pops up and when she did it almost felt like the writers were like “oh yeah, i guess we should include her every now and then”

i thought allura being like “i don’t have a family” to lance was bullshit. like, hello, coran and romelle are right freaking there. more alteans are showing up every day. girl, what tf do you mean???

allura was also kind of excessively mean on multiple occasions?? she was cutting people off, being unreasonable, reckless, and kind of dark..... i didn’t really understand the sudden downfall of her character when she’d started out as this sort of insecure victim, but season after season became stronger and stronger and an awesome member of voltron. idk, it just felt out of place to make her a part of the problem for the final act. 

i wish i had......... cried. i wish they’d written at least one moment well enough that i actually got to experience at least a little bit of a tear.

adam didn’t magically come back from the dead. 

OMG and the kiss between shiro and random dude???? IT WAS SO SLOPPY, I WAS SO EMBARRASSED. it was obviously thrown in at the very last possible moment because they were trying to cover their own asses about the adam thing. like, what was with that bad animation....

epilogues in general are just........ so bad. no one should do them. stop.

omg they never explained the altean colonies... 

honestly, as we kept getting closer and closer to the last episode, i was like....... they do know this is the LAST season, right??? they’re kind of running out of time??

that black entity thing should’ve been fleshed out more and had more of an actual purpose, especially because they touched on it before with the paladins of old. 

i feel like the writers just threw so many things out there over 8 seasons and didn’t actually.... resolve most of them. like, they needed to edit down sooooo much of what they were trying to do. it would’ve been such a stronger series overall if they’d just FOCUSED on the actual compelling parts of this story and its characters.

i feel zero closure tbh, lol. whatever.

the mixed

overall, i was pretty engaged for the most part from episode to episode, but i did get pretty damn bored a few times.

oh god, the leaks were real. it’s good and bad. 

lance and allura still felt SOOOO forced and awkward but at least they tried to give them some actual substance.

like I said before, yay romelle was back! but boo, she wasn’t as quirky or funny anymore :(

Slav bothering everyone was still quite enjoyable to me. i wish shiro had gotten roped into that more, tho. Missed opportunity.

Atlas didn’t feel quite as dumb... but it was still kind of dumb.

i thought honerva honestly held up as a villain. Maybe not a FINAL season villain, but meh. her motivation seemed legit enough and the lengths she was willing to go after 10k years of pain seemed real. I just..... ugh, i wish they’d stuck to her just being evil. Or revengeful. Lok tried to do the same thing with kuvira right at the end. there just... wasn’t enough time to actually do that right, in either case. Or if they were going to do it, Honerva should’ve sacrificed just herself and allura should’ve left with all the other paladins, and that could’ve redeemed her character if that’s what they were going for.

the 2nd episode that focused just on honerva was... fine i guess, but i thought they didn’t define the mixing of timelines very well. it would jump from one clip to another and i didn’t realize fully that we’d gone back in time, or returned to the present, or were seeing this important thing before moving on to another. idk, the order just didn’t work for me. 

i’m glad allura got so much more focus but i feel like keith had so many important story points throughout every season and it felt weird that he was kind of just in the background for the most part of every episode.... like if vld had a “main” character, i always kind of felt that it was slightly keith.... so i’m sad that he didn’t really get much of an ending.

and that being said, i guess this is just a negative, but i feel like keith and shiro’s relationship just didn’t matter anymore??? that was so weird to me?? it was such a focus for SO LONG, it didn’t feel good to just never address them ever. 

there was this really awesome momentum going in the first half of season 8 for this theme of “not holding on to the past / letting the old give way to the new” and they just….. totally lost it. Like, it just never came up again by the end, lol. But i liked it a lot while it was initially there. Just.... wish these writers knew how to stick a landing, jesus. 

like, that older olkari woman that pidge was trying to call out to? she probably had one of the best speeches of the season when she was telling that little olkari girl to go on and be a part of the future. that’s what i’m saying. it had good momentum. they just didn’t fully realize it :/

i think where they started to lose the narrative was in the two part episode, the knights of light ones. going into honerva’s mind seemed cool and i appreciated them trying to do a few interesting things with it, but bringing back the old paladins didn’t feel right. For some reason, I didn’t enjoy allura reconnecting with like, the spirit of her father. I felt like it was a loss that should’ve remained a loss. and yeah, just in general, having them bring up the idea of the benefits and power behind “the old making way for the new” just wasn’t supported by bringing the old paladins BACK... it felt counterproductive. i didn’t like it.

Anyway. I feel like i’m still forgetting stuff and I’ll probably go back and edit this post but yeah. Enjoyed a decent chunk of the final season. Cannot..... even believe how dumb some of the writing choices were. Will forever be slightly confused. Canon is whatever. I’ve still enjoyed this show and its characters and a lot of the amazing content fans have created for it, and it is what it is and at least it’s over and done with :]

[sambart93]

2019.01.14 GARO Stage Vol 3: Kami no Kiba - JINGA - Reincarnation [Review]

Official Website here Official Twitter here Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 Videos 1

CAST and CHARACTERS

Inoue Masahiro as Jinga Yamamoto Ikkei as Sasha Inami Anju* and Oda Erina as Tomoha Masaki Kaoru as Ruka Matsunoi Miyabi as Amelie Fukuen Misato* and Nazuka Kaori as Shera Shimizu Saki as Ontake and Yuzuki Miyagi Koudai as Ushio Sengoku Minami and Isohara Kyouka* as Saeka Yumoto Misaki as Kerusu doNcHY as Tomino Sato Daisuke as Ramedo and Pakutora Sato Kazuma as Kaise Namiki Shusuke as Ikari Noda Hiroshi as Kido Iwata Arihiro as Lumido and Midouji Nakamura Seijiro as Fugi Horrors: Ega, Ryo, Hiro-C, Taka-ki, Kraus, Shimoo Hiroaki, Kudo Shoma, Katakabe Hiromasa, Sakai Hayato, Noda Ryunosuke, Yoshiba Yuki, Tezuka Sae, Ito Reina, Taguchi Fumiya

*There were some double casts so the * signifies the ones I saw.

NON-SPOILER REVIEW Overall: This was very good. This was a solid stage. I thoroughly enjoyed the action, I enjoyed so many of the new actors, seeing the horrors IN PERSON and so up close was amazing! The use of the projection mappings and how they used the front screen for the effects was really cool! The combination of heavy rock and action scenes was a perfect combination and I absolutely adored the two - three big action scenes that used heavy rock music to their advantage to intensify the action. One of the fighting scenes actually really impressed me with HOW they did it! Also the fact that we had a LIVE band performing is awesome! The adlibbing was gold. I can see a lot of potential in some of the characters and their future storylines. I hope we get more development and more appearances from certain characters in the future! I thoroughly enjoyed myself at this stage, even with the earthquake about 30 minutes into it which FREAKED me off. However, I had a few technical issues. This play could’ve been amazing with about 2 - 3 more days rehearsing. Let me clarify; the actors are not the issue at all! But, the sound staff and the scene transitions were very questionable at times. Sometimes the sound effects for punches and such were either played too early or too late, and it was glaringly, obviously off beat. There were a lot of moments where the orchestra would go from one song to the next as a scene ended and started, but there’d be like 10 seconds during that transition where none of the actors could more or say their lines, and it felt very unnatural and roboticly timed. If they had had just a few more days of rehearsals I really think they could’ve fixed and perfected the sound and music timing. The other issue I had was the story. The main story and the main points of the story were absolutely fine, but I felt like one character and their story line (which is attached to the main plot) was totally unnecessary. At first I thought maybe only I have these issues, but upon talking to other friends, our negatives about the play matched completely. They also had problems with the timeline in the story too, they said it was confusing to figure out when all these events are supposed to take place. But luckily, I was able to understand the timeline without any problems. But besides me, my friends found that a problem. Rating: 6/10 - I enjoyed myself, but with a few more days of rehearsing and script revising, this stage could have been amazing.

*

SPOILER REVIEW

PreShow

I was very confused when I got to the cinema and got in line for the goods. My goodness Goods was confusing!! You had to pick up your goods from the tables first THEN line up to pay?! No wonder the line was going so fast!! XD It took me a minute or two to figure out what the hell was going on. I kind of wish all shows did this. Would be so much faster in the goods line!! Rather than waiting for Miss-Take-A-Lot who is always in front of me buying about 40 sets of different bromides when all I want is a pamphlet but I have to stand behind her for 10 fucking minutes, also because the effing staff are taking their god damn time too trying to get everything and counting everything out for then about three times. <<< A common occurrence I experience unfortunately.

But anyway....

Then I got into the theatre and right away the very front screen is down and the projection mapping for the Garo opening sequence/advertisement on the screen looks so damn cool! And the GARO music to go along with it!! It was very Messiah-esque in that it had random patterns and shapes floating about but you knew they signified something or someone. Just like in Messiah’s movie openings. It was so cool to watching while counting down to show time.

I was to the right of the stage fourth row, but just not far enough to have any of the stage cut off - PHEW!!

Finally, about 20 minutes in, I ‪FINALLY experienced an earthquake during a show! It was bound to happen soon xD‬ although it went on for much longer than I was comfortable with so I momentarily didn’t focus on the play, so I have no idea what happened during those few minutes.

The Story

I want to talk about the story first:

So the story actually jumps around; it occurs before, during and after the Jinga tv show. Some people (as mentioned above) found it really difficult to figure out when it was set but I took little hints to figure out when it was. The first 40 minutes or so are set before Jinga is reborn as a human; he’s still hanging around Amelie and the Horror are bowing down before him. Then the middle section is set during the Jinga tv show; we see where he went those few episodes where he came back bloody or he doesn’t remember what happened. And the final part is setting during after the events of Jinga when he gets his Horror posse to turn and such.

The main running thread throughout all this is a girl called Tomoha. Tomoha is a Makai Priest in training, and she has a group who she trains with, she has a sister, and has some normal friends. One of her normal friends unfortunately succumbs and becomes a horror, but Jinga gets involved and reverts her back to a human being. Tomoha learns that the person who saved her friend is called Jinga and that he can turn horrors back to humans. After this she decides to find him, but when she does Jinga doesn’t recognise nor remember her. She realises there are two Jingas. Later she wants to introduce him to her training clan but while there Jinga’s Horror henchmen, and a group wanting to destroy Jinga turn up and the entire clan is doomed.

That the basicness of the entire story. Now to get into details.

The Show

Maybe I’ll just get the negatives out first and then I can flail to the end.

☆ As mentioned above I had some technical issues with the play. First was the timing between action/movements and the sound effects. The timing of some action hits were either too fast or too slow. And the off beat of the sounds were glaringly obvious unfortunately. Also, the transitions between songs, the actors would stay frozen until the right note in the music and then the scene or line would start, which made it look and feel very robotic.

☆ I really do think just a little more (a few days of) rehearsing would’ve really perfected this stage! There were technically things like timing that could’ve been spot on if they had had just a little more time. I heard from a friend that:  they didn’t have a GenePro for the press because it wasn't good enough yet, and that they kept pushing things back until eventually just cancelled the GenePro and only gave interviews instead. So clearly, I’m right in thinking (even at Senshuuraku) that they needed a few more days. During the curtain call, Masahiro even commented that he only had one day to rehearse. But I’m not even calling out on the acting! I thought everyone did well. I only had issue with technically stuff.

☆ Call me bias but the first 30 mins or so were so unnecessary and were pretty boring. They use Tomoha as the central character for the plot but in all honesty, Tomoha’s entire storyline and participation was unneeded and unnecessary.  I liked the main storyline for Jinga, and the storyline of Jinga being tracked down by the Ikkei crew, but Tomoha was completely pointless. We didn’t need her in order to know about a training group of priests and knights, we didn’t need to know she had a sister, we didn’t need one of her friends to turn horror, we didn’t need her begging for Jinga to save her. This all could’ve been just a random human or a random training crew and nothing in the main storyline would have changed. Jinga could’ve just found and gotten to that training crew on his own, Jinga could’ve ‘saved’ this human-turn-horror without introduction. We didn’t need to know about her or her sister or any one specifically at all. You could’ve switched ANYONE in where she was and it wouldn’t have made any difference to the story at all. Having her as the ‘main character’ just made the first half full of unnecessary introductions, absolutely pointless, and SO BORING.

☆ And because the story was somewhat lacking, they really missed a great opportunity to have Jinga get really evil. We have Tomoha who has clearly fallen for Jinga and completely trusts him, and you’re telling me Jinga didn’t even TRY to manipulate and use her?! I really wanted Jinga to USE her! Manipulate her! USE HER!!! That’s what the real Jinga would do! He’d be like ‘oh this idiot LIKES me. Well I’ll trick her into falling in love with me and then she’ll do anything for me mwahaha’ but nooooooooooo the story makes a romantic bullshit subplot out of it where it’s hinted that Jinga also likes her. Oh FUCK OFF! The real Jinga would have used and abused her, and he would have laughed in her face the moment her world came crashing down! That’s the Jinga we know! But alas the story did not go there. Seriously, a few more days of script writing and rehearsing would’ve made this amazing!! 

☆ Another thing I wish that changed in the script was during a few battle scenes, the entire cast are dancing to the battle music rather than actually fighting... wtf?Again, another missed opportunity! Even as the music and the dancing started, I immediately thought: TARANTINO!  I really wish they had done a Tarantino-style thing: Jinga orchestrating and dancing to music while everyone else is actually fighting and screaming. That would’ve been much better. I was completely fine with Jinga being all orchestry and dancing but I think going Tarantino style would’ve been better: only he can hear the music and is dancing, while everyone else is actually screaming and fighting. Instead of this bullshit of everyone, including Horrors, dancing to the entire song.

☆ Lastly, I didn’t have a problem, but a lot of people were confused as what the the timeline of this story was. I’ve already explained above, but I can see how others might been confused. It wasn’t exactly stated so you just had to pick up on what people were saying and who was where in order to understand what point in the timeline we were in.

Now to the fangirling!!

☆  Sticking to the fighting and music topic: The actual fighting scenes with the very heavy rock music were AMAZING! You could feel the music through the floor and the fighting was very well choreographed! It was so god damn fun!!

☆ I’m jumping ahead but the best fight scene was definitely the climax fight between Jinga and Sasha. It was absolutely amazing how they did it!!! Ikkei (Sasha) had a body double so it looked like Sasha could move super fast from one end of the stage to the other! It was so fast paced, and so well executed, that even from the 4th row, I couldn’t tell where the real Ikkei was during the fight! Also the use of the lighting during this scene, and having their weapons light up. We had some points that were in complete darkness and all you could see were Jinga’s sword and Sasha’s weapons that were lit up and fighing. It was SUCH A GOOD SCENE. It was best scene in the entire play. Absolute kudos to the choreographer and to Masahiro, Ikkei, his body double and everyone involved in that scene because holy hell it was amazing!

☆ We had a LIVE orchestra the entire time which was absolutely amazing! The music itself is just a masterpiece! It’s so good! I guess that’s why they called it Garo the ‘Live Entertainment’.

☆ There was a higawari/daily change guest every day and the show I went to had Kashiwagi Yusuke as the guest. If you don’t know, I love Kashiwagi so I was super excited for this! And he did not disappoint. He was GOLD.

Yuusuke did fucking Osomatsu!!! Everyone was DYING of laughter! Even Amelie and the other cast couldn’t keep it together! SO MANY OSOMATSU JOKES!! So his story is that Amelie and co. can’t eat him because he already made a promise with Jinga that Jinga would devour him. So he explains that he wanted to save his brothers (and that there are six of them), but they accidentally got mixed up in his scheme of trying to rob a bank, and they all ended up getting shot at. In exchange for stopping those bullets from hitting his brother, he agrees to make a deal with Jinga. During his storytelling four of the ensemble came on stage in the other Oso-coloured jumpsuits and Yusuke’s like ‘WHERE’S PURPLE?!?! You couldn’t even get me five people?!’ He was absolutely amazing! So many round of applauses during his higawari. And he did some backflips too. At the Amilie ran after him with her knife like ‘KKAAARRAAAMMAATTSUU!!!’.

During the curtain call, he said he wants to come back as a Horror if they ever let him come back. He also apologised to the vast colour difference between everyone’s outfit and his; he was ain a bright blue jumpsuit with a kimono styles scarf over his shoulders xD Absolutely GOLD.

☆ I absolutely loved being able to see Jinga’s costume so up close! I absolutely adore his grey coat from the TV show and being able to see the detail of that coat so close in person was amazing!

☆ Also the full body Horror and Makai Knight suits that we got to see on stage were phenomenal! They looked AMAZING! They were pretty terrifying as they went past me in the theatre! xD And huge kudos to the people wearing those suits. They must be absolutely dying in sweat in those suits!!

☆ There is a scene where we get to see the switch between Human Jinga and Horror Jinga. Seeing that transition right in front of my eyes was amazing! I love how different his body language and posture is between the two Jingas. I also adore how different his fighting style is too between the two versions of him.

☆ Ikkei/Sasha was so good too! I absolutely adored his look. I love how he always called himself ‘Sasha’ and referred to himself in the third person, and I love how over the top he can be. And I already said but that final fighting scene with him was phenomenal!

☆ Nakamura/Fugi’s fighting style and weapon is so cool! I really loved how much control he had with his weapon. He had some moves where the weapon could’ve easily fallen out of his hand and gone flying but he had such control and so flawlessly used it. I was so impressed.

☆ Koudai as Ushio was GREAT! He was playing a young, cheerful, sorted stupid Knight in training and he just lit up the stage with his happiness and silly moments xD I wanted so much for him to survive and get all revenge-y on Jinga’s ass! I was so sad when he died. I wanted so much more from him!

☆ A quick note on the Sasha/Fugi/Ruka/Ontake group: They are neither Makai nor Horror. From what I understood, they’re from their own world and Ontake is actually like....a god? or at least an overseeyer of the human world. Because she has a forest of candles, and the candles are everyone’s life/souls. Some candles have black flames which shows who’s become a horror, and the rest are normal flames. So essentially they’re from another... dimension/world? And they hear about Jinga’s plan to steal their goddess/spirit called Tomino so they want to kill him before he can get to Tomino.

☆ There is a twist at the end where Tomoha is possessed by Tomino (we assume she’s a goddess/spirit from the world that Ikkei is from) which means ‘Tomoha’ might have a bigger role in the future.

☆ A comment from curtain called that I enjoyed: Nakamura mentioned that he’d like a spin off dorama just about his character Fugi, and then Ruka’s actor was like “I hope Ruka gets a spin off dorama too!”. Inoue immediately after said ‘not like Sasha’s gonna get one cos he’s dead’ and Ikkei was absolutely distraught looking, it was hilarious. He was like ‘hey!!!!!!!!! I can come back! I can just pop out of nowhere!’

☆ After the show: Miyabi/Amilie was at the dvd corner and Inoue/Jinga was at the buppan corner!

*

And that’s all! I hope you enjoyed this short review!

[echodrops]

Issues with Voltron Season 6 (Part 3)

A continuation of my extremely long vent about the most recent Voltron season.

<-- Part 1 is back here.

<- Part 2 is back here.

This time it’s (mostly) about Keith and Shiro!

All right, so while I think the treatment of Lotor’s character was the true worst offender of this season, the entire clone Shiro plot line has just driven me nuts from start to finish, and the culmination of it in this season just heaped more salt in the fire.

Let me preface this by saying I love Shiro--I genuinely love this character and have felt like the EPs had no idea what they were doing with his character since the end of season one. Everything I say in this post is an extension of the fact that I feel like this poor man has been mistreated and misused by the writers since practically day one.

At least as far as I understand it, the EPs’ original intention was for Shiro to disappear at the end of season two and not return until this point in the show, which would have been an absence of a season and a half (19 episodes). I absolutely understand the higher level executive meddling from Dreamworks that forced them to scrap this idea and bring Shiro back into the story earlier. Simply removing a character from the plot for over a year’s time and then expecting to bring him back in and have some major emotional payoff would have been utterly stupid. No one would have cared at that point, and everyone would have been left wondering why they bothered to return Shiro to the plot at all.

But that doesn’t mean that the route the writers took to “fix” the issue is any better. Why in the world does this entire clone plot line exist? It’s honestly like they sat down at the table and said “What is the most roundabout, complicated, and unnecessary way to fix our Shiro problem?” and then went “Okay, let’s do exactly that.” There are so many ways they could have chosen to solve this problem instead:

1) Leave the real Shiro on the astral plane, and have periodic cuts throughout other episodes to Shiro struggling to “survive” on the astral plane, possibly dealing with apparitions of Zarkon etc. Experiencing difficulties due to the extreme isolation, trying to reach out to the team in critical moments--hell, he could have been there with the manifestation of the Black Lion, and and the writers could have shown him learning awesome things about the lions, the universe, the Alteans, etc. etc. Meanwhile, outside, Keith could have stayed with the team and grew into his Black Paladin leadership role organically instead of the artificial “Well, we aged him two years so now you know he’s mature and leader-worthy!” The drive to find Shiro could have continued to lead Keith and could have served as a more logical reason for Allura and company to be swayed by Lotor--he could have tried to convince them that Shiro might be trapped in the rift or something, and that could have been their reasoning behind being willing to explore the rift despite the imminent danger. Hell, it could still end with Haggar controlling Shiro into a Shiro vs. Keith showdown--maybe gaining the secrets of Oriande would allow her to reach out and control Shiro on the astral plane--they could have used literally any other excuse! And then we’d get our Shiro and Keith showdown on the astral plane as a perfect parallel to the Zarkon vs. Shiro showdown from the earlier season! It would have been great!!

2) Scrap the astral plane idea entirely and just put Shiro somewhere on the other side of the universe with like... minimal working tech. The show cuts between Shiro’s antics across the universe and his attempts to make it back to the team--allowing for greater world building--and the team, where again, Keith is allowed to organically grow into a leadership role. Same reasoning as above, the team could engage with Lotor after Lotor makes a promise to help them find their missing Black Paladin or something. Meanwhile, Shiro is being mind-controlled remotely from Haggar, whose magic got into him from the glowing wound way back in season one or something. We still get our Keith vs. Shiro showdown, tada.

In essence, what I’m trying to say is that literally any other possible plot would have felt more natural and been a better addition to the story than going with “Shiro’s an evil clone and the real one died inexplicably 19 episodes ago.”

I mean, can someone actually articulate any positive gain from the clone plot line? In what way did this particular plot--these particular events--actually make the story better? Is there something here that I am just flat out missing? Was there something in this plot that could ONLY be done via this particular clone story? I am honestly struggling here to see any profit in this. I can only see this as an example of writers choosing the worst possible solution to a simple problem, possibly even out of spite.

As an aside, I think my true biggest problem with the clone Shiro plot line is the the underlying issue of why the EPs thought it was a good idea to get rid of Shiro in the first place. Several of their interviews have led me to conclude that they never expected people to actually like or care about Shiro, and that they themselves never saw him as more than a stepping stone for Keith to overcome in order to achieve his ultimate role of leadership.

But that entire thing doesn’t make any sense, because it hinges on one major premise that the writers never actually sold to us: Keith needs to be the leader.

Why? We’re literally never given a single compelling reason for this in the show itself. There is nothing in this show to support the idea that Keith should be the destined leader of Voltron. There’s simply no logical explanation for this in the show at all. 

The only remotely reasonable excuse is that Keith was the leader in the original Voltron, so he should be the leader here too. Except “Keith” in the original show had an entirely different personality and was a perfect cookie cutter of the hero archetype. Sven wasn’t leader type in the original series; he bears minimal resemblance to the Shiro of this show.

So why does Keith need to lead Voltron? What does he bring to the table as Black Paladin that he could not have brought as the Red Paladin? Why are there so many parallels between Keith and Alfor, the Red Paladin, if Keith was just going to end up as the Black Paladin all along?

Am I genuinely supposed to believe “Because Keith was the leader originally” is the only valid reason the writers had for giving us this massive tumor of a plot--a plot that resulted in Keith’s leaving the team, Shiro becoming a clone, Lance being shoved even further aside, Allura getting a lion despite the EPs saying they wanted to make her a cool enough character she didn’t need one, and undermining essentially all the efforts of season one to show a meaningful lion/paladin bond?

I have never seen--from the very first episode of this show to the most recent--a shred of convincing evidence that Keith being the leader is, in any way, shape, or form, necessary or what’s best for the plot.

The entire lion swap plot line is, to my eyes, utterly unneeded, convoluted, and reductive. So much time was wasted on this that could have been dedicated to better examining the characters’ motivations and reactions to the numerous serious issues the show chose to instead gloss over...

Which is not helped by the writers’ lack of commitment to the color swap in the first place. If perhaps, from season three on, the show had consistently insisted that the color swap was permanent and we were never going to see Keith back in Red or Lance back in Blue, I might have accepted it. But the show writers are wishy-washy about even this!

This is literally how we ended season six:

Haggar deliberately says “the Red Paladin” in reference to Keith in this season--in a freaking episode titled “The Black Paladins.” The lack of consistency in messaging is actively painful to my sensibilities as a writer.

To sum up what I’m trying to say here: The clone Shiro plot line was the worst possible solution to a problem the EPs created for literally no reason, and the trajectory of the “Keith becomes leader plot” so badly shifted the tone of the show that tens of opportunities to better examine the world and characters were lost in order to progress a story line that the writers never convincingly sold to us as an audience in the first place. I can’t think of any word for this but “bad.”

(PHEW. THERE. I SAID IT.)

And this of course doesn’t even touch on the other issues raised by this season in regards to Shiro, namely:

1) How much of the clone body is actually organic material? Because in the flashback from season 3 (or was it 4?), the clone Shiro that was shown lying on the table made a camera sound as his pupils dilated, indicating that at least part of the body was mechanical, not to mention that the prosthetic arm literally grew to extend past the organic part of Shiro’s arm in the Shiro vs. Keith fight--did they put real!Shiro’s self back into a mostly robotic body? Are we ever coming back to this? Is it ever going to be discussed? Why do I get the feeling it won’t?

2) The fact that the clone’s existence was entire overwritten by real!Shiro is super creepy and maybe just because I’m coming from a long history in the Kingdom Hearts fandom, the idea of someone’s existence being absorbed despite them functionally being capable of being different people is super saddening. I was never emotionally invested in clone!Shiro because he was obviously a clone from day one, but the fact that he was a fundamentally good person who was trying his best, then had to face the horror of losing control of himself, fighting someone he thought was his best friend to the death, and then literally being swallowed by a person who wasn’t around to personally experience any of these things is discomforting. Not to mention that “Shiro just inherited all the clone’s memories!” makes absolutely no sense scientifically (and isn’t even explained magically in the show) and is, once more, a cheap way to handwave character growth--of course Shiro hasn’t missed out on more than a season’s worth of development! It’s all still there, even if he wasn’t the one to experience it! Now it’s just like he did, promise!) Miss me with this nonsense, please.

3) What kind of government does Earth have in place that a minor can leave foster care to go to military boarding school at the tender age of what looks like 12 on the apparent recommendation of a man who likely wasn’t even 21 years old? (It’s like, if the main plot itself was going to be completely illogical, couldn’t they at least make the backstories somewhat viable?) And not to mention, but... didn’t the Keith and Shiro backstory deserve more screen time? There was so much build up to this, and we got less flashback for Keith and Shiro than we did for Krolia and Tex! Matt and Pidge got more! I feel incredibly short-changed, especially because I feel like that was probably it and we’re probably not going to get many more flashbacks for Shiro and Keith specifically. I think their placement in the Keith versus Shiro episode was good, but there just wasn’t enough material there to really satisfy the longing I had to see Keith and Shiro grow up together.

“What I got wasn’t what I needed and I wanted so much more than what I got” is the summary of Shiro and Keith in season 6, essentially.

ALSO I CAN’T UNSEE THIS.

I burst out laughing at this scene when I actually watched the season--it wasn’t supposed to be funny but I could not stop laughing. Sorry Keith, or something.

Anyway, all of this also relates to one of the other major issues I have had with Voltron since season one:

4) The writers have no idea how to handle an ensemble cast, but they keep adding characters anyway!

Matt was introduced and effectively erased, Slav might as well no longer exist, Olia? Not sure why we even bothered to give her a name. Kolivan? Probably died off screen! Lotor’s generals? I have no idea why they even bothered to animate them into this season given how little impact they had! All the other existing Alteans on the colony? Erm... I’m sure we’ll get back to those guys eventually.

There’s a difference between “We don’t have time to dedicate entire episodes to side characters” and “These characters just functionally stop existing when we no longer have an immediate role for them in the plot.” The attention in this series is all over the place--Matt gets a ton of screen time in season 4, enough to make it seem like he’s going to be a recurring character--and then his existence is entirely ignored two seasons later. Slav could have proven useful at any number of moments in this plot--and yet he’s nowhere to be found. The allegiances of Lotor’s generals are so cheap that they could basically be swapped out for any random helmeted Galra cannon fodder with zero impact on the plot. I’ve genuinely never seen a show deliberately add so many characters to its cast and then so badly under-utilize them.

This is actively jarring because any new character that appears, you have to first ask yourself “Is it worth getting invested in this person’s story? How likely are they to never appear again after this season?” And there’s seemingly no rhyme or reason to who disappears--even people who could and should still be active in the plot get shoved entirely to the side without any explanation or justification for their absence.

And all this mistreatment of the side characters might be okay if the main characters were at least getting to grow and develop consistently instead. But that’s not the case either! We have Lance’s character back-pedalling, Hunk fans excited over mere scraps of their favorite getting screentime that isn’t a food joke, and Pidge... I was honestly concerned that some of her hacking footage from this season was stock reused from previous seasons. 

Screen time in this series bounces around like a ball--whoever catches it gets to do something cool for ten seconds then has to immediately pass it to someone else. Keith is a ball hog but somehow STILL doesn’t get his issues dealt with respectfully.

This show sold itself on the tried and true premise of “power of friendship.” The entire first season was really about becoming a team. And yet the show writers seem entirely adverse to letting these characters grow together. All the best moments of the show are moments in which the relationships between characters are expressed in believable and meaningful ways. Lance’s pep talk to Allura on Naxela. Pidge’s moving mourning for Matt. Keith’s refusal to let go of Shiro. The show writers KNOW how to believably develop more than one character simultaneously--they know how to let characters share the spotlight--and yet they continually fall back on scenes which give the foreground to a single character, leaving the audience with the constant feeling that other characters are being short changed. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge fans have every right to be upset.

There’s no reason that Keith and Pidge’s character developments have to take place in entirely different episodes. There’s no reason that Lance’s insecurities and Pidge’s fears about her family need separate screen time. All of these characters’ issues--everything they need to overcome in order to become stronger, happier people--could be dealt with together, saving time and animation budget in the process.

I have never come across a show about being a team that so violently rejects the idea of its characters being you know... an actual team.

And I guess, while I’m here, one last little gripe:

5) Chekov’s Gun is a serious issue for the writers of this series.

Lance unlocked a sword in season 4. Where is it? Why has it not been used? Keith got a dog that can teleport. Why not just teleport the dog into the Sincline ship and let it eat Lotor’s face while he was in a cramped and defenseless position??? When elements like these are introduced to the story, viewers are trained to expect something to come from them. We can only assume that Lance’s sword and Keith’s dog will be plot relevant at some point. But when? The timing is terrible in this show--why make us wait more than a season for Lance’s sword to pay off when there were plenty of opportunities to work it in before now? Did the EPs really give Keith a wolf just because they thought it would be cool for him to have a “lone wolf” to relate to, despite the fact that part of the entire trajectory of his character has been teaching him the importance of relying on others and making meaningful bonds to other people? (How does it make sense to even deem it a “lone wolf” if Keith adopted it when it was just a tiny puppy?)

I mean, I LIKE the dog and I still think its inclusion was nonsensical and pointless... They could have introduced this dog in any number of ways, but “randomly dropped on the back of a whale in a space-time continuum with no logical origin point or reasonable explanation for being there” is what the writers went with.

This is nitpicking, I know, and don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Keith having a cool space wolf--but did the show really need another example of badly shoehorning in the EPs’ whims? Did the none of the editors really stop to go “Maybe we should do this stuff later or in a different way”?

At the end of the day, there are just a lot of problems with the story. Enough that, at this point, I feel ready to divorce myself from it. I’m going to continue watching the show--there’s no point in stopping now, at the end--but at this point, Voltron is always going to go down on paper for me as a show I loved for what could have been, not for what really was.

I don’t say any of this stuff with a light heart. I definitely give my all to shows and games when I get invested in them, and Voltron has dominated my fandom time for two years now. I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words about and for this show. No one can accuse me of not caring about it.

But it’s because I care about the show--and the heights I know it could have reached--that I do feel this upset and let down. I know this show could have been better. I wanted better for it. I’m not spewing senseless criticism because my favorite ship didn’t come true or something... I really believe that the show has tons of untapped potential, and I’m saddened by the fact that I feel like it’s all going to waste.

I’m not asking anyone to agree with me, nor am I telling anyone that they have to suddenly start disliking the show just because I dislike where it has gone. People all have their own opinions, and like things for their own reasons. My reasons for liking Voltron are essentially gone, but for the other people that are still enjoying it, rock on.

I really do wish I was still there with you.