#but still the longest commentary out of all of them for sure

[dughole]

radiohead’s complicity in israeli-occupied palestine

my feelings on radiohead are complicated these days, as i’m sure they are for many. i'm using this post as a method of sorting out my own thoughts & to provide sources.

for me, the bottom line is this: radiohead is both a brand & a musical group. the brand of radiohead has always had deep roots in the israeli colonial project - they have played many, many shows there throughout their career. their breakout single - creep, was intially only a hit in israel (x, x) & the personal choices of some of radiohead's members remain just as involved. jonny greenwood met his future wife - the israeli artist, antivaxxer & vehement zionist (x) sharona katan - at a show radiohead played in israel in 1993 (x). jonny consistently collaborated with zionist musician shye ben tzur & his projects continue to tour in tel aviv as recently as last september. as for jonny himself - his only statement in regards to the war on gaza has been in mourning for the israeli concert goers on october 10th - w no such empathy spared to the 100,000 palestinians dead, injured, or missing. as for thom, while he’s thrown a few bitchfits (x) through the years abt criticism of radiohead’s shows in israel, he has imo - only paid lipservice to the criticism, saying “playing in a country isn’t the same as endorsing its government” going against the pleas of his peers & coworkers in the music industry. as well as the pro-palestine activism undertaken by his long term friend micheal stipe (x & x). (note: stipe stood by radiohead’s performance in israel in 2017, but his current political choices suggest his understanding of the situation has evolved). even his own son - noah yorke, a fellow working musician, has voiced his opposition to the genocide in gaza via instagram stories. as for the other members, rhythm guitarist ed o'brien has called for a ceasefire, as well as making a few tweets about "solidarity with palestinians & israeli peacemakers". while bassist colin greenwood reportedly refused to accept letters of dialogue from the fan-run organization radiohead fans for palestine. drummer phillip selway's commentary is similarly brief but defensive, saying radiohead's 2017 tel aviv concert "felt right"

to me, this paints a picture of a band who's members stances on israel range from abhorrent to simply not enough. & as a brand, their particular combination of action & inaction amounts to a fundamentally zionist perspective. you cannot separate radiohead as artists from radiohead as a brand name.

i've loved radiohead since i was 14. i was brought into it by another longtime fan. i cried & danced when i saw them live back in 2017 - it was, & remains, a moment that allowed me to live through the hardest parts of my life. i felt for the longest time, that radiohead's music & political positions encouraged my empathy - my questioning of conservative political authority. & while all celebrities are failures in some sense - it is still heartbreaking to know how wrong i was.

i don't think it's possible to disconnect the decade of connection & love i have for their music - I won't ask that of myself or anyone else. & the idea of scrubbing one's taste of the "morally impure" is useless effort & an inappropriate simplification of both art & our conceptions of what makes someone "bad". but i can say with certainty - i will not be giving them any more of my money, whether that be streaming their music or buying their merch - & i encourage you to do the same. silence is complicity - this is beyond silence.

in the words of nina simone - "an artist's duty, as far as i'm concerned, is to reflect the times. how can you be an artist and not reflect the times? that to me is the definition of an artist."

[thelaurenshippen]

finally taking the time to read through the SAG agreement summary and oof, I hope they have an AI town hall soon because...well, there are things to discuss!

so, in case folks are curious, here are my immediate takeaways from the deal as a SAG actor, a SAG producer, and person who is not any kind of expert but spends a lot of time being skeptical of contracts I sign. this is a summation/commentary, not a holistic breakdown of every point, nor even an in-depth discussion of the points I do talk about. and it is, of course, in no way legal advice or voting advice.

this post is already maybe the longest post I've ever written on tumblr (lol) and I feel like I've barely scratched the surface. to be clear, nothing I'm saying here represents how I'm going to vote, how I think other actors should vote, or my be-all-end-all stance on a particular issue. this is me reading through, flagging what concerns me, and asking myself questions. and I'm here to take your questions too! though of course my expertise is limited.

(what?? something I wrote got annoying long?? in my tumblr? it's more likely, etc. huge write-up after the cut)

the good

self-tape stuff: this is one of the more niche/the thing that the general public will find least interesting, but they've put in a lot of provisions to make sure self-tape auditions have limits (# of pages, no stunts, no nudity, doesn't have to be professionally shot, etc.) which is amazing because these types of auditions have gotten out of control since the pandemic. this feels like a great gain

data transparency: in no world did I think the streamers were ever going to agree to any data sharing with either the wga or sag so even though the data is limited, this still feels huge to me.

folks who sing and dance will be paid for both of those things now, which is great

they've added MLK day and Juneteenth as holidays (about time)

a performer cannot be required to translate their own lines

principal performers are required to be given hair and makeup consultation or reimbursed for obtaining their own services - this seems like a small thing, but it's being put in here pretty much entirely because HMU services have generally been appalling when it comes to textured hair/a variety of skin tones. there's also stuff in here about working to hire more diverse HMU artists

it looks like it's going to be easier/provide a path for folks getting IMDb credits even if they're not credited on screen

miscellany: there's a bunch of gains in wage increases, P&H increases, relocation fees, franchise language etc. that all seem good to me, though my limited knowledge on those subjects prevents me from going in depth on them.

this is not important, but it tickled me, there's a term to replace all instances of "telegraph" in the contract with "email & text" which like...why has it taken us thirty years to do that lol.

the "...hm..."

intimacy coordinators: oof. when I watched the press conference SAG gave, I was fucking thrilled when they said that the new agreement required folks to hire intimacy coordinators for nudity and simulated sex scenes. that was almost reason enough for me to vote for it tbh - not requiring it is the exact reason I voted no on our last contract. however, reading the contract summary now, the exact language is: "Producer must use best efforts to engage an Intimacy Coordinator for scenes involving nudity or simulated sex and will consider in good faith any request by a performer to engage an Intimacy Coordinator for other scenes. Producer shall not retaliate against a performer for requesting an Intimacy Coordinator." this....sucks. "best efforts" and "good faith" are not the same as "required". IMO, an intimacy coordinator is the same thing as having a stunt coordinator or, like, any number of health and safety requirements. OSHA doesn't say you must "in good faith" put your "best effort" to providing fire exits. it's great that performers can request coordinators for any kind of scene, and this is still the strongest language we've ever had in a contract but....c'mon guys.

residuals: look, I can't speak to these new terms in any concrete way. there are increases, there are bonuses for streaming success, there's a whole thing about a fund regarding those successes that I need explained to me more in depth, but overall, it looks like we made some in-roads here. as someone who employs actors under digital distribution contracts that has no residuals (podcasts), I know how genuinely cumbersome the unholy trifecta of "views-success-profit" can be (as in views do not equal success, success does not equal profit, etc.). I also have no sympathy when the majority of companies dealing with that cumbersome trifecta are massive media conglomerates. anyway, long story short, idk if this is good enough, I'm hoping to attend the next info meeting sag has.

the bad

the new hair/makeup provisions are explicitly for principal actors. while I hope it leads to better, more inclusive HMU services all around I haaaate that this implies supporting or background actors (who oftentimes also have to sit in HMU) don't deserve the consideration. (then again, background actors are usually required to do their own HMU/bring their own costumes, but for productions where that's not the case, the same HMU provisions should apply IMO)

as with every contract, there's language that could be stronger, clarity that needs to exist, and important things missing - but this isn't the final contract and I'm not a lawyer, so I'm gonna leave that stuff to the experts.

but, "lauren", you say, "what about all the AI stuff? where does that go?" well, reader, I was planning on including that in the above but it's the hot-button issue right now and I think it's wickedly complicated, so I wanted to break it down separately, after I had a chance to point out all the good-bad-in-between stuff that's not getting talked about.

a note: in my career, I've learned there's two big things to keep in mind when reading a contract you might sign:

what is the worst case interpretation of this language (thank you to my lawyer, prince among men, for teaching me how to do this in practice (that said, anything I say here is not legal advice, he'd also want me to say that lol))

what are you willing to lose/compromise on/what are the limits of your pragmatism? contracts are not about a company giving you everything you want out of the goodness of their heart - it is always a compromise. pragmatism has to be a part of the equation.

so, with that said, I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here, and a) try to find the good/the pragmatic and b) catastrophize the worst case scenario. but first, it might be handy to look at this SAG infographic for some basic definitions. let's go.

the AI good

a ton of stuff here requires consent. that is not a small thing, and the consent continues even after your death (whether it was a yes or no; though this can be complicated by your estate/your union)

the language does establish that the consent must be a separate signing from the employment contract, even if its in the contract, which is great (but more on that below - timing matters)

actors often do get paid for use of their digital replicas, though it's different based on the use/type of replica.

the actor must be provided with a "reasonably specific description of the intended use". this language is vaguer than I would like, because it allows producers to decide what "reasonably specific" and "intended" means - there's always going to be some vagueness when it comes to this specific thing, but a good start would be for producers to require not blanket consent, but conditional consent for each significant use of digital replicas.

if the replicas are being used in other mediums, that must also be consented to, thank god.

replicas cannot be used in place of background actor counts on a given day - if I'm understanding this correctly, this means a production can't just have a bunch of fake background actors by themselves, they have to engage real people up to a certain number first (which in this new contract is 25 for TV and 85 for movies). we're already filling in background with digital people or copy-pasting of the same crowd over and over and have been doing so since at least the late 90s, so it's good we're continuing to put up boundaries around that.

the AI "...hm..."

it's unclear (to me) when an actor can be asked to consent. IMO, everything is meaningless if the consent is happening as part of regular contract negotiations. these things have to happen when - and only when - the actor has already been engaged in a role and feels empowered to say no

the use of independently created replicas (replicas pulled from existing footage, not created by the actor) being allowed without consent under first amendment reasoning - this is obviously concerning a lot of people bc first amendment arguments are so broad. that said, there's a pragmatism part of me that understands this is already happening/has been happening for a while and used in ways I think are perfectly fine - I was just watching the new episode of For All Mankind (one of the best TV shows right now!) and it's an alternate history, which meant that in the opening scenes of this season they had some bonkers good deep fakes of Al Gore saying stuff he never said. I think that's okay to do in a fiction show that imagines a different US history! "but Lauren", you might be saying, "Al Gore isn't a member of SAG!" are you sure? are you positive? because I'm pretty certain he is - he was in several episodes of 30 Rock, way more people are in SAG than you think (every NPR reporter for instance), and the two worst presidents we've had in the last 50 years (yes, those ones), are both definitely members of SAG (even if one is dead). now, the other side of this is that public figures like politicians are under a different social contract than actors, and if they wanted to sue, they could, unlike the average SAG actor who might have their image abused. this is why this is in the "hm" column - deep fakes and parody/satire/commentary use of replicas is already here and there's always going to be a 1st amendment argument to make, so we need to figure out how best to limit those and protect the most vulnerable.

alteration: with this language, a project can digitally alter without consent if the script and performance stays "substantially" the same. again, this language is too mealy-mouthed. I don't know that I have a huge problem with a line of dialogue getting replaced with a digital version of that actors voice if, for instance, a word was mispronounced, or wind garbled the sound or whatever - yes, it would eliminate the need for ADR, but if we put some limit on it like..."if there are more than 5 lines in a given episode/movie that require digital alteration in the service of clarity, the actor must be engaged for an ADR session or paid for the digital replacement" then I could see this being workable. I'm also personally okay with things like costumes being digitally altered but, again, we need limitations on that. digital altering cannot replace the art of costuming but, for instance, if a costume needs to be altered to include a hate symbol or something, I think that's fine (example: I have friends who worked at the VFX house for an alternate history TV show that involved a lot of Nazi costuming and set design - a huge part of that VFX house's job was to put swastikas in places, rather than props making nazi flags. I'm okay with that!) but again, these fringe cases do not a compelling arugment make, and this contract language can be interpreted too broadly for my comfort! like everything else in this "hm" category, I need to see the final contract language to decide.

the AI bad

there's a bunch of circumstances in which actors don't get paid for creating their replica/use of it and those circumstances are too broad for my taste.

synthetic performers - this is just awful. no. no, we should not be allowing AI to generate entire actors. just............no. there's some language about the producers having to talk to the union if the synthetic performer is "used in place of a performer who would have been engaged under this Agreement in a human role" but this doesn't apply to non-human characters so....wouldn't that be all roles?? leaving the producers room to be like "this role has to be synthetic, we never would've cast a human!" is bullshit. also, even if we're having AI create a magical talking unicorn whole cloth (which, like, also no, we have artists for this), that unicorn still needs to be voiced by a human person. this whole section is a disaster.

the exceptions to consent for digital alteration are bad-bad. I talked about the potential ADR replacement above and that has a whole host of issues with it that I didn't even get into, but I can see the argument. the rest are very troubling:

there is an exception under "any circumstance when dubbing or use of a double is permitted under the Codified Basic Agreement or Television Agreement" - okay, so does this mean we can replace dubbing artists and stunt performers entirely? this section is about digital alteration, but who's to say alteration couldn't turn an actor broadly miming a fight into an entirely digital, expertly performed fight that usually a stunt double would have done? with AI translation technology, does this mean we're replacing VO artists for dubs entirely? bad!

similarly, "Adjusting lip and/or other facial or body movement and/or the voice of the performer to a foreign language, or for purposes of changes to dialogue or photography necessary for license or sale to a particular market" - Justine Bateman has a great twitter thread on the terrible puppetry potential of this but I want to draw attention to the particular market bit - we all know that selling to china is such a huge part of studios' strategies that they'll remove entire scenes or lines around queer stuff. to me, this clause makes all of that so much easier. I know the argument here is going to be "we can replace swear words and license it for kids!" which.......sure? fine? but, uh, we already have ways to deal with that? and the potential for abuse here is terrifying to me. with all the digital alteration stuff too, there's just so much icky implication for the beauty/body standard to get so much worse.

if a background actor’s digital replica is used in the role of a principal performer, they'll be paid as if they actually performed the days for that role, which, sure, but uhhhh why are we saying it's okay for a digital replica of a background actor to suddenly be a leading role!?!?! I can't think of anything more demoralizing than going to set to act in background (a job I've done! an important job! a fun job a lot of the time! but creatively limited) and then getting a much bigger role (the dream!) and.....not being able to, you know, act that role or be in scenes with other principal actors or do the thing that you've dedicated your life to doing. nightmare stuff.

woof. there's so much more to say but I'm going to leave it there. these are the concerns I'm going to go into SAG's meetings with, and the concerns I'll be considering as I decide how to vote. I know there are things I didn't address and very possibly things I misinterpreted or misrepresented - if you're an actor, I highly recommend a) reading that Justine Bateman thread and b) attending SAG's meetings to ask questions and express your concerns. and I'd love to hear what y'all think! my ask box is open.

[mithrilhearts]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Look at me getting to this 500 years later (I'm so sorry!!) Anyway.

Thank you both so much, @cilil & @laurfilijames for sending me this ask game thingy!! I figured I'd just do it in one post, so I hope that's okay, but here we go!

I think picking my "favorite fics" of mine is like, asking a parent to pick their favorite child - not easy, in most cases I guess lol...but I will do my best and explain why! These are all based off of fics I've COMPLETED, and by no means reflects on my love and affection for the other stories I've written. I love them all for their own reasons, otherwise I wouldn't have written them.

In no particular order...

May Your Forge Burn Bright - This is THE original longfic from me. I started this back when I was creeping my way out of RP and into fanfiction, and was nothing more than an independent baby writer. (Been writing a long time, just never like this), and the story means so much to me, as well as the commentary from readers along the way. It's still my longest fic to date, and I love a good "alternate first meeting" fic. It's the OG, and you can't replace that.

Dragonhearted - The Hobbit & Beauty and The Beast are my two FAVORITE stories, and mashing them together like this was perfect for me. Dragon!Thorin is such a fun concept for me, and badass Bilbo is another. This setting just WORKS. (Also, did you know @i-did-not-mean-to had a BLANKET made for this fic???)

Kurdu 'abadaz - That's right, I finished this one just recently, and it has easily stolen my heart to being a favorite. The Fix-it fic that I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to write, that went under a LOT of rehashing and had a huge overhaul in the story early on when planning. It turned out so much better than anticipated, and the love for this fic from readers/friends has been overwhelming.

Fuck Thy Neighbor - A VERY FUN ROM-COM STYLE MODERN AU!!! This really had me cackling the entire way through, and like a few other fics of mine, it spawned from a writer's ask game/tag game thing that I can't quite remember. Accidental marriage & neighbors? I love it. It's so funny, and I enjoy rereading it frequently for the laughs.

When Darkness Shines Brightest - Did you know that anything can be made into a Bagginshield Fic? Did you know that this fic spawned from a joke/conversation between @starthecozy and I and then erupted into this really original Hades/Persephone, Nightmare Before Xmas, blended style fic?? Various worlds and environments, powers over elements, and saving homes from a dragon?? The Onion Fic sprouted, and blossomed into one of my favorite stories, and I got to collaborate with Star the entire way through it, and we had SO MUCH FUN!!! Go give it a read, it's really neat!!

Honorable Mentions:

(Take Me Back To) The Night We Met - My entry for THAUC22 (partnered with the amazing @consultingpacha), and one of my FAVORITE concepts. Yet again, another "alternate meeting" style fic, featuring small kids Fili and Kili, rather than adults. What it sets up to at the end of the fic blends into the OG Hobbit story, but with a few small changes that I kind of want to explore one day in a sequel. 👀

Between Vices and Virtues - My entry for TRSB22 (partnered with @mysandwichranaway!!) First of all, I love working with Sandy, it's truly one of my favorite things on this good planet, and I can't wait to do it again - hopefully soon. Secondly, this was my take at a modern royalty AU, and learning about how to connect with the people around you. I have two sequels planned for this universe (even if this fic kind of felt like a let-down in terms of reception? but idc about that lmao) it was so fun for me. A light dusting of magic superstition in a modern au setting? Sign me up!

[d-lanx]

New WWE AU Idea: Newscaster AU

Ok, I need to put this down somewhere before it drives me insane. It's a stupidly niche AU idea but it's taking up so much brain power for me right now for some reason. It's a journalist AU where the WWE is a TV news channel. Details below the cut.

But basically I've been thinking about all the people who've been running the PLE pre & post shows & hosting PLEs this year a lot. And with the whole news-style interviews and sitting around on sets that often look like news studios, what if they were all actual reporters in a news channel? It's a bit of a weird one I know, but it's been rolling around in my head all weekend.

Btw I have no idea if USA news channels call their emplyees the same sort of titles as we have in the UK so excuse me if the job titles are a bit scuffed. But basically here's all the roles they have, why I chose those roles for them (in brackets), and what they get up to as part of this AU news channel:

Michael Cole: Senior Newsreader- (Because of his commentary work and journalism background). Out of all the people currently regularly on TV, he's been there the longest and is highly respected. Always trusted to keep a level head in times where the world feels like it's gone to hell.

Corey Graves: Business Correspondent- (Because he has a degree in marketing). Feel like he'd do a segment kinda like "The Martin Lewis Money Show" we have in the UK, where he goes through government changes to finance-related stuff, explains it and how it'll affect the average person, and then answers questions from a live studio audience and gives them advice.

Wade Barrett: Environmental Correspondent- (Because he has a degree in marine biology). I get the vibe his favourite animals are tiny and obscure things like a specific type of sea pickle on the verge of extinction or something and he defends them aggressively to get people to help save the species. Has memorised his evidence for global warming and can reel it off with ease, but is sick of having to do it so much cos people STILL DON'T BELIEVE IN IT????????

Pat McAfee: Sports Correspondent- (Do I even need to explain why? He's a mad man and I can't imagine him doing anything else, even out of a whole cast of people on a sports show like WWE). Feel like most people try to keep somewhat calm and professional on a news show, but he's just himself the whole way through, making him one of the most popular reporters on the whole channel because people want to see his OTT reactions to certain events. Feel like he'd also probably be in charge of the news station's radio show, too, what with how he has the Pat McAfee Show in real life.

Big E Langston: Political Correspondent- (He just gives me that vibe being all analytical about wrestling feuds). He's just as tired with politicians' nonsense as we all are, to the point it's hard to hide his dissappointment when they say something stupid and he has to remain unbiased. Never lets politicians get away with evasive answers when he interviews them, but smiles the whole time as he makes them wish they were never born.

CM Punk: War Correspondent- (The man is always scrapping for the love of the game, so of course he'd be in the centre of a war). He's had bombs dropped on his head more times than he can count and regularly goes for runs as a workout to make sure he's still fit enough to run for his life when he's in active warzones. Can tell you all about the complex international relations and battle strategies but secretly has a morbid interest in death & gore which is what actually got him into the job. Once got shot on live television, showed off the wound on camera and finished his broadcast before getting medical treatment. Was only mildly miffed about nearly dying, mostly excited by the whole experience.

Jackie Redmond: Justice Correspondent- (Basically her analyst role in WWE gives me the vibe of someone discussing a crime case). Can tell you all about how 17 people have been skinned alive and cannibalised in graphic detail so casually as if she's talking about the weather. At this point in her career, pretty much nothing can phase her. So if something actually manages to leave her speechless, you know it's bad.

Cathy Kelley: General Reporter- (Basically cos it's just what she's doing in WWE). Going wherever she needs to be to interview people and get to the bottom of a story. Has interviewed some really dangerous people that are twice her size all in the name of finding a good story and everyone's just like "for the love of god please think about ur own safety for once."

The Miz: Media Correspondent- (Cos of his reality TV background and generally over the top vibes). He'd be all over red carpet events and he's definitely still hoping to use his media journalism as some leverage to get into show-business himself. Celebs see him at events and pray they haven't been spotted so they don't have to talk to him, cos he can be a lot. But this little bastard has the eyes of a hawk and will hunt them down. Especially if he's persoanlly a big fan of them and their work.

R-Truth: Weatherman- (Cos he's a ray of sunshine :) ) Just imagine the batshit insanity of him telling people about a storm or how nice the weather's gonna be or something (I'm thinking like a Bob Hale skit on the original Horrible Histories, that kind of madness).

Sheamus: Tech Correspondent- (Cos he's a former IT technician so he can be all brainy). Constantly treated like IT support rather than a journalist and is sick of having to switch on servers people promised were already on, and listening to people with no idea what they're talking about prattle on about the benefits of AI. But at least he gets to talk about flying cars and robot dogs all day and muck about with new tech for a living.

Triple H: Editor In Chief- (Basically the top role in journalism to match with his current role in real life). Running things is like trying to herd cats, but hey, he can put on a pretty damn good show. Trying desperately to move on from the scandals of the days when the previous editor-in-chief was in charge of things.

Obviously some of them wouldn't be able to use their ring names in those environments. Plus I'm probably forgetting some people who should be in this AU that have been involved in pre/post shows, hosting, and commentary, but my brain's a bit too frazzled to go thru all the PLEs right now.

But like... come on... look at them and just imagine for a second... do you see the vision???? Or have I finally gone a bit mad??

LIKE JUST LOOK AT THEM!!

Also it gives me even more reasons to think about punk in suits <3

Also also if he were a war correspondent and had to go out into dangerous places, they'd make him wear gear which means more of this. vvv

Also CM Punk & Big E Langston are the two people I'm blaming for putting this AU in my head just so you know. Cos look at them!!

But also since punkintyre died, I've been reliving my sheamus/punk shipping days and just imagine sheamus waiting for his husband to come back from reporting in an active warzone and being worried for his safety (especially if he's been hurt before [whump time?]). And then all the excitement and relief when he gets back and giving each other special attention cos they were both so stressed and now they're just so happy to see each other again.

Also imagine Punk being inept with technology and needing help from tech savvy husband who's so proud that punk's finally learnt how to attach a file in an email. Punk probably sends Sheamus facebook minions memes and Sheamus despairs.

And then Punk excitedley explains all about battle strategies and war history and Sheamus excitedley explains back about the complexities of designing a self driving car or some shit. They're both just being massive nerds together. Even better when their interests overlap, like the design of tanks or something. Feel like they'd be talking for hours and everyone is like "guys come on, we have a show to run" but they're too busy with their hyperfixations (autistic sheapunk anyone? [is that what the ship name is??]).

Just think of the shipping potential!!

And this whole countdown show also was major inspo cos to me it just looks so much like a news show.

And these three just give me the vibe that E (being a political correspondent) would obviously be doing a show for the elections. And since law and war are both very close to politics, he'd get punk and jackie in to keep him company and the three would do an overnight show reporting on election results as they come in, chatting shit the entire time.

Btw I still don't know what this all means for the other WWE wrestlers. Defeats the point of using commentators and hosts if I also have all the wrestlers also being journalists. So maybe they can be the people featured in the news. All having "normal" jobs like politicians and military and scientists and shit. And these guys can be reporting on their nonsense and bullying them in interviews.

I feel like I could add more people to it, like having ring announcers as general news readers, and Shawn Michaels, Adam Pearce and Nick Aldis as editors or something. And I'm probably forgetting other people who hosted PLEs or were presenters on pre/post shows, and other commentators. So there'll be plenty more that could be added.

Sorry about the info dump but I needed to put this somewhere. I'm not the only one seeing the vision on this am I????

[lutawolf]

The Sign Commentary Review Ep 3

I'm saying fuck it and doing this commentary anyways, even though it's way late. (my kid got into a car accident. Fuck this year.) Anyways I think I'm hilarious so here we go.

Home dude really just let Tharn get kidnapped and looks so lost about it. Hahah! The friend group drinking at the idea of Phaya and Tharn having sex. So dead.

The way these coconuts are stirring up Phaya. And why did his brain go straight to shower. He is so obvious and doesn't even care. Then races out to call the man. Like, are you just now realizing what is going on. This is real life drunkenness, I swear. When Chalothon shows up in the camera feed, it's a total audacity of this bitch moment.

Good news, Chalothon is not having any luck controlling Tharn either. The faces Phaya makes at his phone.

HAHAHA! Phaya's face when he gets back to the table and sees all the guys. He went from being on top of the world to a no good, shitty day real fast. Poor baby, lol.

Phaya's book collection has me jealous. The music playing while he is visualizing the girl. Especially with those subs (mysterious music playing). 🤣🤣🤣 The whole scene with the sister, omg. (mysterious music) (footstep sounds) (footstep sounds) (mysterious music) Phaya's eyes shifting as if in panic. All very dramatic.

Grandma is so pretty!!! She's hilarious too.

Somebody got romance on the brain! I mean, I'm only guessing, between the closeness and the subtitles telling me that romantic music is playing. Then dreams of cuddling Tharn. Cute! I like how the lighting makes them look like they are underwater.

Boy woke up so confused. "I must have thought about him too much." Ya think?!?

Phaya is a talented artist. He has a lot of art of a boy also a side profile of a female. The one we can't see clearly makes me think of the dragon from the water. Is the cat a Cha Kla? Cha Kla is a mythological cat from Thailand.  Legend says that the Ch Kla are terrified of humans and will hide from them, but if they are seen or touched, that person will eventually die. However, they are usually black, where this is white with black surrounding it.

Grandma, "Are they twins?" Then Phaya goes on to fill her in on everything. These two have a very close relationship.

"Did I do anything weird last night?" Boy, that is a loaded question. Ya'll Yai is adorable. He is for sure one of my favorite side characters.

Doc... I'm having doubts that I'm gonna like you. You've barely talked, but you have slime ball written all over you. And what is up with Tharn saying that him and Phaya aren't that close??? Clearly he isn't that close to the Doc if he is hiding stuff.

Nong Khai!!! Nong (low area like a swamp) Khai (lost) is situated on the banks of the majestic Mekong River, one of the world’s longest and most iconic rivers. It's also a very important pilgrimage for Buddhist because of a revered Buddhist stupa that dates back to the 16th century and is believed to contain relics of the Lord Buddha. You know what else it's known for?? Nagas. These mythical creatures are semidivine beings that are serpent shape-shifters. Whether it is a human form, full serpent, or half serpent, half-human form, the Nagas can take up whatever shape they prefer. They are a strong and attractive species, who are regarded as guardians of treasure which resides in the underwater kingdom of Patala-Loka or Naga-Loka, a stunning place decorated in gems.

Now I'm really excited!

💜💜💜 I'm dying. "She's gorgeous." "I know that, but she's also very scary. I'm afraid of her." This honestly makes me like him even more. NGL. They are pretty close with the Abbott. Aww, poor Yai getting ganged up on. *Snickers*

Clues! "While you’re staying here. Let me warn you about something. Make sure you often meditate and dedicate the merits to those whom you have wronged in the past. So that it would help lighten the consequences of your karma. Got it?"

"Is he still not free from them? They’ve been after him since when he was born. That’s why he had to live at the temple. What do they want from him? Why are they so vengeful?"

Shot to sad Abbott and sad Tharn.

Phaya asking the Abbott if he remembers him. Give me answers! Give me! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, Finally!!! It's come out that he is the boy that was saved by him!

And we crash again. That's so fucking sad, is this why he thinks the people he loves dies??? "Everything has already been destined. His life is written by the karma he did in his past life." This is so fucking sad. But wait! There is hope! "His destiny has been entwined with someone since his past life. That person will lead him to experience bad things. But it is also that person who would be able to free him from his karma."

Okay, so the Rocket Festival they are talking about and why the date is significant. The Rocket Festival is usually celebrated on the weekends in the middle of May, just before the start of the crop plantation period (the rainy season). This ancient festival is a merit-making ceremony which involves firing home-made rockets towards the heavens to captivate the rain gods and hope for a good monsoon season before the crop plantations take place.

"Whether you’d be free from those whom you have wronged in the past... depends on whether you’d be able to find the owner of this amulet tonight." Damn, that's not ominous. Poor fucking kid.

Ahhhhh, this is when his visions started! No thoughts, he just dives in. This boy does not deserve to have to pay for his past life! I absolve him! You live by a river, and you're just shaking him? Fucking turn him over and smack his back!

Past, Phaya is so puppy dog.

Wait! You forgot to give him the amulet!!! Dumbass kids. Always forget the important part. I mean... Well, I guess saving a person from drowning is the important part, but you know what I mean! Oh good, Phaya found him.

"So, he would probably live for a very long time. But you have to be careful though. If both of your destiny are entwined like what I think... You would eventually find each other again."

And clearly, Yai has always been the way he has been since forever.

Naga! He dreams of Nagas! Usually the festival associated with Naga is the Naga Fireball Festival. Which is celebrated in the fall or Buddhist Lent period. In this festival, people gather along a certain stretch of the Mekong River, to witness glowing red 'fireballs' shoot up into the sky. The number of fireballs sighted can range from hundreds to thousands. The local people attribute this phenomenon to the mythical 'Phaya Nak', a giant serpent that they believe resides within the river.

Okay, I'll shut up now and get back to the show.

"He doesn’t know how to swim. But he still wants to go and play near the riverbank."

"Grandma, I really heard someone calling me there last night."

That's just a great kid. We almost saw the Darwin Theory in action. The stupid shall not inherit the earth. Gee wiz, I hear disembodied voices, let's go investigate near water where I can not swim. This is like me hearing a gun shot and going to check it out. No, I don't want to die, I'm not that noisy. The unknown can stay unknown. Phaya as a kid was so soft and shy. Boy has he changed!

WTF is not wanting to take the amulet. Don't be an ungrateful asshole, kid. Tharn takes no shit, even as a kid.

"What you saw wasn’t a dream. It was your karma." "Are you saying that... they are those whom I have wronged in my past life?"

We're getting closer to answers! Ahhh, we're talking more about the Naga!!! So Tharn was a Naga in a past life??

"You both are destined to help each other Trust each other. Only then, you would be able to free yourself from your karma. Your kind hearts are your best weapon. And remember to always trust each other. Help each other. And you both would live a happy life, like you’ve always dreamt of." Sounds simple enough... (dumdumdum aka thunder sounds)

Oh snap! We got some bad weather! Okay, so Naga have different classes. From the general Nagas who have large bodies like great serpents with a crest on the head and strong poison to the celestial ones who have several heads with lethal poison and supernatural power such as disguising themselves more than just as a human being. Furthermore, certain ones can effect rain. The power to bring rain or cause drought by stop giving it. Some beliefs say they can disguise themselves as rain clouds and/or rainbows. That is why the quote for the Rocket Festival is "How much water will the Naga give this year."

Ohhh, who could this be? The king of Naga? There are a few options, so I won't hazard a guess just yet.

Can I just say that I'm loving that Phaya is chasing after scared Tharn. Yai and Phaya hugging like they didn't just get drunk together the night before. 🤣🤣🤣

"It was quite dark, so I didn't know he actually looks like this." OMG, I'm Dead. Hahaha Yai... I can see why you and your gf fit together.

Ahhhh I'm loving this so much!! You see the Naga decorations on the bridge?? This is in association with their connection to rainbows. The rainbow signifies the bridge between earth and the underworld. Sorry if this shit is boring, you guys! Like I said earlier, I'm way late, and so I'm just writing about what I find interesting. Because I refuse to force beliefs on my children, I give them books on world religions and beliefs. I read it so that I can help them as they read what they are interested in. I find all this stuff so captivating.

The way Yai looks at his girl. So sweet.

Okay, I see what they are doing here with the dream, but I'm dead. That hair and his facial expression. Like he is seconds away from laughing at himself. I would love to see BTS of this part right here.

Look at Phaya just calling Tharn out. Like Bitch, try and run from me. "Why didn't you want to tag along with us."

Isn't that where he was sitting when he had the vision? Phaya, you wish he was hitting on you, lol.

Not matching clothes!!! Tharn bitching all the time but damned if he didn't put on the matching clothes.

He left her cause she was naga! What!

Yes, he is telling you that you are the cause of his bad dreams. But he still wants you to stick around so nevermind.

I love these fools. I love grandma. Now everyone knows that Phaya is the boy that was saved.

I like Sand.

"If what you said is true, Yai and I both love you like our own brother... but we’re still safe and sound."

"Don’t let what the Abbot has predicted come true." Grandma come back! Explain this to me...

Hahah! Tharn is so sassy. "Did you use this kind of story to hit on the girls in France?"

See, no hiding for Phaya. He just straight up tells Tharn that he likes him. I think evil jellyfish is a new favorite nickname for me. I really want to read this book but it's like 15 bucks. Crazy!

AHHH! They finally kiss!!! "And this is called a goodnight kiss."

Tharn's face when Phaya says goodnight. Bless the poor boy. Well fuck, we getting stormy weather over a kiss? What the hell is gonna happen when they do more!?! I think I liked it better when the sex just woke up the evil twin, not cause destruction of humanity. Tharn is cute but I don't know that he is Noah Arc worth it kind of cute. Just saying.

Running scared! But that's okay cause Phaya is very willing to chase. Even tackle.

"Do you want to get hurt?" Phaya over here like, yes please. With a cherry on top. I love the cockiness of both of them. I adore when Phaya puts his tongue in his cheek. These two! Thank you Saint! You are a blessing amongst men. I really enjoy this kind of foreplay. No punches were pulled. Noticed Phaya is wearing the talisman.

Ahhh, it's the forcing him to submit and then telling him he is a good boy for me.

I’m Police Major Akkanee Assawawaisoon, your team leader. Yay! He is back!

I love these coconuts. Tharn going and sitting by your brother, Phaya is going to kick your ass again.

Ahhhhhh. I'm so excited for this saturday!

[schrijverr]

Wake Me Up Before You Go 2

Chapter 2 out of 6

5 times Buck falls asleep on someone + 1 time he wakes up by himself

On AO3.

Ships: Minor Madney

Warnings: none

~~~

2. Chimney

After falling asleep on Bobby it’s a long time before it ever happens again. With the lawsuit, they’re far removed from each other and after it takes a long time to come back to each other. So, it’s not until Covid hits and Chimney and Buck are sharing his loft as roomies that it happens again.

Rationally Chimney knows he’s running just a little bit, but he can’t help but fear all the ways it can go wrong, so he stays away from Maddie no matter how hard it is and takes Buck’s ribbing about crashing on his couch this time around.

However, despite Buck’s teasing, Chimney knows how hard it is for Buck too. He wants to be there for his sister, wants to hug her and assure her better than he can through a videochat, wants to come over and help in any way he can. But he can’t. Neither of them can.

In a way it’s nice to have Buck there, someone to verbalize what he feels and can’t bring himself to say.

So, all in all, living together is going well.

Chimney has taken it upon himself to further educate Buck on pop culture, unable to live with him when he doesn’t even get his James Bond reference. Thus, movie nights have become quite common place, both of them crashing on the couch after a shift and watching some movie that Chim picked out with snacks or a meal Buck made.

Today, they’re munching on some sandwiches and watching The Breakfast Club. They’ve had one of the longest 48 hours shifts in a while and both are tired, but too wired to go to sleep just yet.

Instead of their usual commentary, they sit there in silence. Chimney is barely obtaining any information only half following the movie because he has seen it often. He is just thinking that they’re probably going to have to rewatch this later because Buck is probably not paying attention when that is confirmed by a weight against his shoulder.

When he looks to the side, Buck is fully zonked out against him, the sandwich half eaten and slipping from his grip. He must be more exhausted than Chimney thought that he’s actually asleep right now, he thinks as he saves the sandwich.

Both of them are tired, of course, but they ended their shift on a big car accident. Lost a few people there too. Chimney knows how badly Buck deals with losing people, even though he has gotten more used to it, like they all have had to. Still, it’s never easy, especially for Buck. So, the fact that he’s sleeping instead of being as restlessly exhausted yet awake like Chimney speaks a lot.

Chimney knows how hard it is to fall asleep after a call like that and Buck has another shift that he took over from Charles on the B shift soon, so he needs all the rest he can get. Chimney on the other hand is free the next two days, so he decides to let Buck sleep while he can. He can catch up later and blearily watch The Breakfast Club now.

It doesn’t entirely work out like that, because when he wakes up it’s to some jostling. He’s only half awake, so he doesn’t realize Buck is carrying him up the stairs until Buck is tucking him in bed and crawling in on the other side. Chimney falls back asleep before he can process fully.

The next morning Buck is already off to his next shift, because he is a workaholic weirdo. But Chim is glad now, he’s sure the teasing will be relentless, because apparently Buck can easily carry him up the stairs to tuck him into bed. Great.

However, the teasing never comes. Not when Buck gets home after his shift, not when they get into bed that night, not when they videocall Maddie and Albert, and not when they come into work next time with the A shift.

After a few days of nothing Chimney carefully brings it up, asking Buck why he hasn’t been teased to hell and back after that.

Buck looks slightly embarrassed – though Chimney doesn’t know why – as he shrugs: “You let me sleep, figured I’d do the same for you. It’s not a big deal.” And that’s that.

[ohbo-ohno]

Rereading that noncon Ghoap puppy walk fic bc it makes me go insane. And I have so many questions. How can Johnny even breathe? What did they do beforehand that the others just immediately incorporate it into their routine? Did Gaz encounter puppy!Soap before? What are Price and Gaz thoughts on all this (Bc fuck, their commentary killed me - asking about belly rubs and giving advise on punishment)? Do they think this is completely consensual? Or do they suspect that there is more going on? Do they hope that there is more going on? Are they getting off on the thought of participating even in the smallest of ways in breaking down Soap? If ever Soap got his brains together enough to ask for help, would they give it to him or would they push him to his knees and take him like they always dreamed of doing and then return him to Ghost?

ahhh day 11 kinktober. my longest and least popular drabble from that month LMAO. tysm for asking about it!

i actually mapped quite a bit of that fic out in my head! but because it's entirely from soap's perspective, there are questions that you just can't answer yk?

first of all - it's pure erotica, so it exists in that kind of limbo that all semi-public/public erotica exists in - you've got to suspend your disbelief a bit, just for the sake of horniness lmao

1 - johnny can breathe (through his nose, because the hood isn't sealed shut), but not well. he's breathing heavily throughout the entire fic because of both his panic and the fact that he can only breathe through his nose

2 - i think i said this in another ask but! it was supposed to be that when ghost left johnny tied up at the beginning of the fic, he was going around and making sure only certain people were on base (hence price asking why he didn't come sign his paperwork). no rookies, since they could potentially lose all respect for soap, and no people who he knew were going to be shitty about it. the people he was okay with seeing johnny, he'd go up and say basically "i'm going to be doing public kink here later. either go or don't complain later". there probably aren't all that many people actually still on base, just lots of people looping around the building to watch

3 - gaz has probably caught the Vibe before, just from the way that ghost treats soap (and neither of them are subtle). price probably knows the extent of it just because he's their captain and he knows everything about all of them, but he's content to let them be. also gaz is probably just a kinky as them lmao, he doesn't care

4 - im soooo mixed on the "do price and gaz know it's not entirely consensual" thing. my gut says that price knows that ghost is manipulating soap, and gaz suspects. i think gaz might get a little worried, try and ask soap about it, and be mollified when soap near aggressively defends ghost. but price? he knows everything about them, doesn't he? but i think price also knows that sometimes the best thing for someone isn't always the nicest... and soap seems better with ghost, seems better after his training. as long as ghost isn't destroying him, he'll let them be

(i looooved their commentary too. i very very rarely dabble in public humiliation, and it's got to be sooo specific for it to work for me, but i love it in that fic)

5 - they both 100000% get off on being involved. if they didn't, they'd step back a bit. price is always gonna get off on being in control (and im a big fan of some light priceghost... maybe price taught ghost how to control a wild boy, and he enjoys watching his student grow into a master) and i think gaz is probably kinda into puppy play himself lmao, he's just there to get hard and have fun

i think if soap went to price for help, he'd get his mouth fucked, his ass whipped with a belt, and get locked in his cage until ghost got back. but im really not sure about gaz....

part of me says gaz is a sweetheart, he'd help soap. i could see him taking soap to price for help, and then the above following (right after price "explains" what soap needs to gaz, does a little manipulation and gaslighting of his own)

thanks for your questions! hope my answers are satisfactory lol

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #51

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 3, I Know Where I'm Going, threshold

This post was last edited 06/18/2024.

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are still long.

However, I think they are no longer longest-length though it is rather difficult to be sure.

Crowley has crossed the bookshop threshold. There are plenty of humans around but another known supernatural presence with Shax being another demon, besides Crowley himself.

The idea behind the forming connection in my theory is that Crowley's sideburns stay longer due to an expanding border around the bookshop. He'll have to go for a drive to shorten the sideburns further when Aziraphale returns.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair can be found, but it possibly disappears or is a lot harder to find when Crowley's moving more and showing stronger emotions. Sometimes it even looks duplicated or shifted to the right front part of his hair.

...

Hairstyle Changes

The hairstyle changes during the scene because tendrils form and spread when Crowley's more frantic with Shax moving around using different bodies.

Then it smooths over. The front hair swoops in and out in the center when Crowley's telling Shax to get out of the way. Once inside the bookshop but still holding the door open, the hair looks darker. The front starts to tilt to Crowley's right, something that tends to happen when Crowley is closer to Gabriel. By that point, Gabriel is on screen in the background for some cuts. The hair looks even darker once Crowley's closer to Shax and preparing to close the door.

When thinking and comparing all of this movement with the preceding scene, the front hair is not as defined in being centered at the front.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

Crowley starts with two questions, "Shax? Where are you?" Conceivably, he earns a touch with a raised platform in front of the door to the bookshop since he goes through the trouble of making sure his left foot is partly over the edge of such a thing.

After that, the earthly objects touched by both demons are actually the humans, and in Shax's case, maybe whatever that human is touching or holding. Otherwise, dialogue points are mostly names and questions.

When Crowley has the door open, Gabriel has a "Hello" with "Hello, customer!" Shax follows that up with a question to Crowley that includes the number "two".

Gabriel has background touches with books since he keeps dropping them to test gravity.

...

For paying attention to the pockets...

The Tied Hands probably retie. Because this game loves to mess with an audience player, the touch with a clasp to a lapel edge happens as Crowley says, "I'm not playing these games."

Liar! He's lying! He's lying, Your Honor.

Admittedly, it is funny.

For this retying, these are the shots where it feels like Crowley's actual hands are up to something and meant to be noticed:

Crowley's left hand touches his jacket when he says the word, "happy" for instance. I don't know if that's just for the retying this time around or something more than that.

Both Shax and Crowley make repeated pockets with their arms.

Various human pocket users are around in the background.

While Gabriel ends up playing shoulder-angel to Crowley, Gabriel does also end up visually pocketed between the demons on screen.

...

Story Commentary

The camera starts viewing from a top angle and down, much like it did in episode 1, so maybe Saraqael or someone in Heaven is watching.

From memory and checking some transcripts, the word "threshold" is only verbally stated once in this story, and it is here.

That's our Clue with a capital "C" that thresholds are important in this story.

While that significance is understood with the demon invasion of episodes 5 and 6, the word use is still yet another clue regarding Crowley's sideburns and the 6 Threshold Tricks.

For whatever is happening with the expanding sideburns border, Crowley is implied, but not confirmed, to have at least one foot on the road and one on the sidewalk, maybe even the edge of the sidewalk. There's a human far behind him with such a position, presumably to be a clue for such a thing.

When Crowley has the door open and talks to Shax, the camera never confirms his actual touches to that door. There is a point where it looks like the lapel of his jacket might be touching it, but then following cuts show that there is a gap, as if to say it's an illusion or discredit and that the jacket is not actually touching the door. Crowley could be up to more than I know since he's such an expert with this type of thing in Earthly Objects.

Crowley's line about Shax maybe spotting an archangel is another clue that he himself might have been an archangel before his fall.

In the cut where Crowley says he's technically not capable of allowing Shax into the bookshop, I think she is reflected in his sunglasses. I've actually never noticed until drafting this post. The previous two similar reflections had a character holding an earthly object and showing it to Crowley. This one does not. I take that to mean the holding and showing an earthly object is not an actual requirement for Crowley to be able to see that character. He has selective sight. These reflections are clues about The Window Trick.

I bet Crowley could have invited Shax into the bookshop. Aziraphale will be able to do it with Crowley's car in the next episode.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[idlyfretting]

they are longing to stray

(Read on Ao3)

Steve tried to ignore the empty cushion next to him, staring determinedly at the TV across the room. He’d popped in a VHS without looking at the case, before settling down with his reheated leftovers. It was some subpar action movie, one that he pretended to like more than he actually did just to annoy Robin. 

The absence of her running commentary somehow made the movie worse. 

He hadn’t seen Robin in two weeks. It was the longest they’d gone without talking to each other since Starcourt.

Steve picked at the fried rice in his lap, moving it around more than actually eating it. It was the last bit of food in the fridge. He needed to stop on his way home tomorrow and stock up. He should have done it last week, but he hadn’t really felt like doing anything last week.

He missed her.

God, this is worse than a break up. He would have laughed at himself if he wasn’t so fucking sad. 

It was like Robin had taken half his soul with him when she’d stormed out of their apartment two Saturdays ago. Like she’d packed her duffle, snagged her jacket off of the counter, and ripped his arms off on her way out the door. He didn’t feel like a whole person anymore.

One of their coworkers at the coffee shop had called them ‘unhealthily codependent’ once. Steve thought he understood what they’d meant now. 

He wanted Robin back. He’d do anything to get her to walk back through that door, call him an asshole, and stomp into her room. He’d take the silent treatment over her just being gone. Hell, he’d take five more screaming matches and hurt feelings, and words neither of them mean to say but can never take back, over this emptiness. 

The worst thing is he knows where she is. He knows the number he could call. He could beg for forgiveness, say he was sorry a million times, tell her he’d never say anything about who she wants to date ever again. 

He could say he was lying when he’d shouted that it wasn’t jealousy, even though that would be a lie itself. He could say that he didn’t know anything about healthy relationships, he had no place to judge. 

He could call. But he also couldn’t. Because Robin probably didn’t want him to, wanted him to keep his apologies to himself. She probably wanted him to fuck off and never talk to her again. She hadn’t called him after all. And after a conversation with one of her friends at NYU, he realized she hadn’t called anyone except her professors, telling them she had to leave town for a bit and asking for extensions or forwarded schoolwork. Dana had asked if Steve knew what had happened.

“I’m trying not to be worried, but this just isn’t like her.”

“She’ll be back. She wouldn’t just drop out in the middle of the semester.” Steve had told himself that repeatedly, trying to soothe his own worry.

“I know, I know. You’re right. But it still doesn’t make any sense. Did anything happen? Nothing seemed wrong in any of the classes we share, so maybe it was a personal thing–” She interrupted herself with a gasp. “Oh my god . Was it a girl? I know she was talking to that one from Boston, got all flustered whenever she brought her up. Do you think it had anything to do with that?”

Steve hadn’t known how to answer that. What was he supposed to say?

Yeah, it was about that girl from Boston. But not really, I guess. It was more to do with how Robin had somehow fallen ass over teakettle in love with my ex, who had been visiting New York with her girlfriend for a few days and then kept coming back alone every weekend after that to hang out with Robin. 

And then Robin came home one morning after staying out all night with her, and said they’d kissed and then more-than-kissed and then decided they wanted to start dating each other. 

And instead of being happy for her, I opened my big mouth and said “Fuck, not again.”

So he couldn’t call Robin. Because that would mean calling her in Boston. 

Which would mean calling Nancy. 

And one: he really didn’t want to do that.

Two: he was pretty sure she’d just hang up on him anyway, especially if Robin had told her about their fight.

Three: if she didn’t hang up, all he probably would have gotten was Tina’s Halloween Party: The Sequel. Which was maybe a little unfair of him to think. But he was sad and his best friend was gone, so fuck it. He could be a little bitter. It helped him with the guilt that was eating away at his brain. 

Fuck, he missed Robin.

He dumped the leftovers into the trash, having only eaten a few bites. He washed the tupperware on autopilot. It was starting to stain, they’d need to replace the set soon. They’d… he’d? 

He hoped it was still a they. He hoped he hadn’t fucked this up beyond repair. Robin would come back. Steve would grovel. She’d call him a dingus. And they’d never bring up Nancy ever again. 

That would be difficult with Robin and Nancy dating of course, but Steve was aces at ignoring shit when he didn’t want to talk about it. And he had the feeling Robin would be okay with this one exception to their ‘telling each other absolutely everything, even when it was gross’ schtick.

He shut off the TV and the lights and made his way to his bedroom in the dark. The room he had here in New York could not be more different that the one he’d had back in Hawkins. His high school bedroom had been plucked right out of a Home & Gardens spread, no personality and absolutely no warmth. The room he was in now was painted a creamy yellow and covered in posters and pictures and paintings. The small desk in the corner was overflowing with loose leaf papers, random textbooks, and unwashed clothes. It looked more like a teenager’s room than his actual one had. 

On his first visit to their apartment, Dustin had taken one step into his room, smiled, and said “So this is what it feels like to be inside your head.”

With the lights off, Steve could barely make out anything, seeing mostly dark rectangles on the walls and messy blobs piled on the floor. He stripped down to his boxers and face planted into his bed. Sleep was unlikely, but maybe if he closed his eyes and pretended hard enough, he could get enough rest to make it through tomorrow without crying.

(Read on Ao3)

[chrysothronos]

director's commentary for: sempre la stessa storia and big boys don't cry (they don't ask why)? 🥹

sempre la stessa storia is a fic that i love but i wrestle with a lot.

not because i don't know where it's necessarily going, though i am working through some structural issues. it's because it's essentially a rolling family epic slash hang out fic and it annoys me a lot. i wanted it to be something a little straighter, considering this is a rewrite of another fic. but...

everytime i sit down to work on it or plot it out, i realize i'm writing like. stories in that way my aunts describe watching soap operas mixing with the feeling that the reader is hanging out with everyone here. i'm trying to go from plot a to plot b and instead my notes are basically, "yeah dallas and ponyboy talk for awhile and then hear atreus and vincenzo laughing in the distance and The Don't Know What The Strings Are Between Them."

which frustrates me a little and at the same time probably speaks to how much i love that quartet. i hate that i have to write johnny more in this even though i really wanna break those bitches up. it's so funny when ponyboy initiates a divorce by just smiling at dallas.

as for real nitty gritty commentary, a bullet list to break this up for eyes:

i really enjoy that dallas and johnny have real relationship problems here that feel realistic for them: they bonded over ponyboy's disappearance, they have a lot of physical distance between them due to johnny's longest lasting hesitance with physicality at all, dallas' frustration at lack of intimacy feels like something he shouldn't feel frustrated by cause he knows why johnny is this way and accept sit even though it still bothers him; the fact that johnny's very uncomfortable with dallas' mob style; dallas knowing johnny is and still being bullheaded, etc etc.

the first chapter is a banger actually. writing from atreus' pov, slightly obscuring the very obvious cannibalism, his need to have ponyboy with him was so good. and i love jennifer in that moment; i have at deeply strong visual of how she should look after the arm dinner, with how her face is streaked, her messed up blonde hair, the run in her tights, the broken heel of her shoe in the grass

keeping pony slightly obscured is always a hard task for me. for many reasons, and in order to sort of move the plot along i had to write some "deleted" scenes for him just to make sure i know where we are in his head. i'm contemplating just making them official and drop the mystery or just posting them later as much of it is him with atreus. they're central to this, obviously, so i really treasure them.

big boys don't cry (they don't ask why) has some issues for it too mainly that every time i try to think about a court date, i just think atreus would just show up with a gun and kill bob at the courthouse and like. nobody needs that! so it's obv been a bit delayed, though i'm still thinking the second chapter needs to be tyn talking with atreus and leaving instead of jump to court. tyn has... a lot of feelings about what ponyboy has gone through, as an omega who's been vulnerable himself, as someone who cares a lot about children's welfare, and someone generally incensed about injustice as you well know.

originally i was gonna make the second chapter a nice reunion between menelaus and pony but i am gonna make that a christmas one shot. since mene is the kind of person who'd call estranged family on christmas, he'd be calling atreus just to check on him and then he's going to be shocked that daisy is home. and i love mene and pony's relationship so much 🥹 he's a good big brother to ponyboy. on the more technical side, i really am pleased with that opener and having the crow be a signal of badluck. it's greekverse and working in things like that is so much fun for me. (and yknow helen mention!!!!).

[good-beanswrites]

Okay, kyanako said that I can ask for a director's commentary on the fic you wrote for me.

Is there anything you’d like to share about writing this fic? Any thoughts during the writing? Maybe any questions for me?

Not you too 😭😭😭 Haha, but thank you for the option to ask you questions, because I actually do have a few! My normal commentary is in pink, but I put questions in blue :) Some of them are specifics about your characters, but I also just want to hear your takes on writing Es 👀 I don't write them super often, so I'm curious how you characterize them...

Es clutched at their head. Their fingers tore through their hair. It was the middle of the night, so they resisted the urge to shout. They didn’t want to draw any attention to themself. If they remained completely silent, though, they wouldn’t need to refrain from crying.

And so they cried.

I wanted to start off right away by setting the theme of Es experiencing the typical pain of a child in their position, but refusing to be treated like the are.

You see, there is only one sensation worse than waking up from an awful dream: waking up from a very, very, good one. 

I'm kind of relying on readers understanding this feeling already, I didn't really know how to put it into words 😅 (Is this common for people?) It's happened to me several times, and it genuinely can hit harder than a nightmare.

Es had grown accustomed to the nightmares that Milgram produced. In these dreams, Es might take the place of the prisoners. Their stomach would twist with horror at the blood on their hands. Other times, they found themselves in the victim’s shoes. They’d wake in a cold sweat, feeling hands closing around their throat, or weapons swung at their temple. 

I feel like a lot of fics (rightfully) focus on all the messed up things Es experiences on a daily basis, like this. I'm usually more upset by their canon lack of interest in their past and future. Their refusal to miss/hope for anything better is really what hurts me, and it took a while to figure out what may push them to the point of finally acknowledging it. I thought a dream was a good start. When you picture them, are they wondering about their identity a lot? Would certain things be enough to jog their memory, or do only extreme situations get through to them?

But they weren’t prepared for a dream of absolute peace. They were happy. They were laughing. There were people nearby, smiling. It was all emotion and no detail – not a single face, place, or voice, was clear – but they knew for sure what the dream had consisted of.

Es was with their family. 

I debated so long on naming specifics about what they saw, whether it was glimpses of your characters or small lines of dialogue... I still hadn't decided if I wanted the dream to be a real memory or just their imagination, though, so I kept it up to interpretation. (Also, I was so afraid of getting something wrong about who they'd be close to or how they'd react in your mind 😭 "he wouldn't fucking say that" fr). In an early draft of this, Es had fallen asleep while cataloguing the prisoners' family members, and dreamed that they were a part of some of those families. It wasn't as effective as I'd hoped, so I got right to the point and made it their own family here.

So uh, I guess, what would they dream about if it were 100% accurate to their real family? I also thought about making the dream a vision sent from them to communicate a message -- is this something that a family member could/would do? And which relative is Es closest to? I've heard you talk more about their father, but I wasn't sure if that necessarily meant they were the closest. (I wanted to make a more specific parallel with one of the prisoners. I'd pair them with Amane if they were close with their father, Haruka if it was their mother, Mikoto if it was a sibling. Since I wasn't sure, I thought Haruka was a safe bet.)

They choked out another sob. 

For the longest time, they wondered if they even had a past to remember. But that was all foolishness – Milgram was in the business of judging humans, not creating them out of thin air. They’d tried asking Jackalope, once. He turned out just as cryptic as some of the prisoners in their interrogations. Another time, they had considered using the prison’s mysterious machine on themself. There was no way to operate it alone, though. And when it came down to it, they were always alone.

Yeah. So. I made myself upset realizing the isolation Es feels :((( They're at Jackalope's mercy as much as the prisoners are, but they can never truly bond with the others over it. They're different from the prisoners, but they don't even have that much power over them (only responsibility). I thought about including an actual attempt to use the machine without someone watching over them, and what a risk that would be. It ended up taking the story way off-focus, but I wonder what could actually drive them to the point of doing something dangerous in the name of getting memories back, or would they always be accepting of the situation, given their personality?

They curled themself tight, dragging the bedsheets with them. Usually when they wondered about their past, mere curiosity washed over them. Now, they were flooded with an entirely new type of longing. It filled their chest. No, that wasn't it. Rather, the feeling left a wide hole through them.

I'm glad you thought the curling up was cute ;--; I just wanted the reader to remember how young and small they are ;----; I was sad writing this and needed everyone to remember along with me 😭

If they did have a family, had Es been stolen away? Could there be someone else out there right now, crying in the middle of the night, just as hard as Es was crying for them? The thought was not comforting.

Or, like Es, had they forgotten all traces of their connection? That possibility also did more harm than good.

Es tried to reassure themself – if this family hadn’t come looking for them, maybe it meant they weren't wanted in the first place. Maybe Es had been willingly turned over to Milgram, their parents glad to be rid of them.

That thought didn't help at all.

I had a lot of fun evilly choosing the most painful possibilities for Es to consider >:3 (<- SHE'S LYING SHE MADE HERSELF CRY). The uncertainty would hurt any any reader, but as my target, I hoped to pinpoint some exact things you'd mentioned in the past. I was picturing the art of Es' father hunting Milgram down, and some of your comments about them remembering and missing Es.

Something clattered out in the corridor. That must have been what woke them. They rose from bed, ready to raise hell. How dare one of the prisoners rip them from such a dream. Es could never return. The offender would pay for this. 

It took only a moment to put on their uniform and wipe the tears from their cheeks. They swung the door open to find Haruka stumbling down the hall. 

I'm always a sucker for the uniform being a symbol of Es' obsession with their role -- putting it on is the same as them putting up an act, even if they don't quite realize it.

“Prisoner number one, what the –” they grabbed his arm. Only then did they notice the dazed look in his eyes. His body flinched, waking from what must have been sleepwalking.

“Ah! W-warden!” He blinked, his mind still stuck somewhere else. “I’m s-sorry! What, ah… I was dreaming... She was – she was right here…”

After this part I tried ending the drabble with Haruka saying, "I was dreaming," and Es replying bitterly, "me too." Haruka then says, "it was about my family," and much quieter, Es repeats "me too." As much as I loved the exchange, I wanted the gut-wrenching pain of Es rejecting their family rather than missing them at the very end 😎👍

Es took a measured breath. They steeled their expression. There would be no unleashing hell tonight. They had lost sight of their role. They had gotten distracted with childish emotions and silly dreams. They were Milgram’s warden, not some kid like Haruka who wandered around the prison late at night looking for his mama. 

Es adjusted the hat over their hair. It was good, they told themself, that they couldn't remember a thing from the dream. They didn't need any of those people. They were perfectly fine on their own. Such a distraction would not happen again.

I had to mention the uniform hat again because I'm just too obsessed with the symbolism asdfsdfs. And yeah, like you said, all of this was an attempt to convince themself. They don't really believe it, but they have to make themself believe it, or else they'll be in even more pain...

“Let’s get you back to bed.”

“But, my p-parents, they were–”

“They’re not here. Nobody is. Back to your cell, prisoner.”

Of course "they're not here" is reflecting Es and Haruka both missing their parents, but I hoped the last line would also continue the parallels between them -- at the end of the night, Es is a prisoner here too :(

[deadbeatbirdmom]

Today marks a week after the revelations from CRWBY's Volume 9 Bluray commentary, that Blake is Yang's first love and gay awakening.

The following text is from these Twitter/X pics of the commentary notes (together with my addition of the roles Yssa and Kerry had). Transcribed partly for my own benefit because my eyes don't do well with dark mode, hopefully useful for anyone who can't read text in pics.

Yssa (episode director) says she cries at the same part every time she watches the Bumbleby scene (it's the part where the clouds part and Blake and Yang share knowing looks) Kerry (show runner, also episode director for Bumbleby scene): "We could have had an amazing scene on Remnant, but there's something special about having them do it here [in the Ever After]." Kerry says Blake has known herself as bisexual for a while, but Yang is still discovering her sexuality as of this scene. "Blake has been bisexual for the longest time - to her. I'm not talking from a character perspective... This is something that's new for Yang, and she's realizing something about herself."

This doesn't explicitly say Blake is Yang's first love, but that's pretty obvious with it being new for her, and in the way Yang is so tentative with her confession. It explains why it's "I think I love you." That 'think' says a lot. It doesn't mean she's not sure or not really in love with Blake, although there's probably at least one person out there who assumed that. Actions speak louder than words: you need only see how she looks at Blake.

As others have said, it's not clear yet exactly what Yang's sexuality is, only that it includes being attracted to Blake. While it'd be great representation to know for sure if Yang is lesbian/bi/pan, I can't help but wonder if it'd be better if we never find out and only know she's Blakesexual. Because it doesn't take much for people to lash out at others, especially over matters close to their hearts like a character they identify with.

I think it's entirely possible Yang had a crush on Blake all the way back to Beacon days, and was in denial about what it meant, with how she only realises what it means up there on the precarious bridge in the Ever After.

Yang: I know, let's speed this up by dropping any big truths on each other that we haven't shared yet!

Yang: Oh no. We're not just gal pals. I have a crush on Blake.

Yang: Gay panic.

Yang: Oh no this isn't just a crush. Help.

Fortunately Blake was there to reassure and encourage her to confess, or Yang might've ended up tossed down into the Punderstorm that was presumably still below the footbridge.

[slashmagpie]

Blood & Snow

Pt. IV

Directory: {Pt. I} {Pt. II} {Pt. III} {Pt. V} {Pt. VI} {Pt. VII} {AO3}

Day four for @hermithorrorweek! This is the longest chapter in this fic and completely got away from me lmao. I hope you all enjoy it. TWs for this chapter include: violence, gore, possession, non-consensual body modification*, temporary character death?

IV. TAKEN OVER

“So what you’re saying,” Cub says, “is that the dungeon… ate Tango?”

The seven of them are sitting in a makeshift circle of chairs in the waiting room. Well—most of them. Scar’s in his wheelchair, rolling back and forth in that way he only does when he’s particularly anxious, and Gem is hopping around the outside of the circle, too full of energy to sit still. Bdubs is a shade paler than usual, fingers buried deep in the moss of his cloak, his chair pushed as close to Scar as he can manage. Pearl is sitting on his other side, a frown on her face as she glances around the circle. Then there’s Cub, and beside him, Etho and Hypno, both of them evidently as concerned by this development as he is.

“Or—something,” Bdubs says, uncomfortable but not quite grumbling. “It’s like—everything’s covered in his soul.”

“His soul,” Etho echoes, sceptically.

“His soul, his consciousness, his self, whatever you wanna call it! But it’s everywhere.” 

“I dunno, Bdubs, that sounds pretty…”

“Ridiculous?” Bdubs snaps. “If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t believe it! But it’s real.”

“And the dungeon has flesh now,” Scar adds. “And it breathes. It’s really freaky! And I can’t find Tango anywhere.”

“I found him,” Bdubs says. “It was dark. He said he was in ‘the one place you can’t reach.’ Any ideas what that means?”

There’s a long, drawn-out pause.

“I mean…” says Cub. “There’s really only one place, isn’t there?”

“Where?” Scar asks.

“The Burning Dark.”

There’s another long, long pause.

“You mean level four,” Hypno clarifies.

“Well, it is the one place we can’t get to,” Cub points out. 

“You want someone to get down to level four. To find Tango. Without dying. When it’s not even open?” Etho says, staring at him.

Cub shrugs. “Anyone have any better ideas?”

They don’t.

“Tango’s going to kill me,” Etho wails.

“Wait, who said anything about you being the one to do it?” Hypno says. 

“Well—I mean, I thought…” Etho trails off awkwardly, shrugging. “Since I’m the best player, and all…”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Hypno says with a huff. “I mean, me and Cub are pretty good at this, too!”

“Well, I mean, if you two want to do it, be my guest. Are your decks big enough?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

“We could all do it,” Cub suggests.

They turn to stare at him. “What?”

“Well… it’s not like it’s a proper run, anyway. We’re not trying to get an artefact—we’re trying to get Tango. If we combine our decks, go in together… We might have a better chance of at least one of us making it.”

The two of them consider it. “It could work,” Hypno admits. “Wouldn’t it cause a lot of clank, though?” 

“Well, then we sacrifice Etho to the Vex and keep on running.”

“Hey!”

“Sure. We can go in together. Why not?”

“Great. Etho? You in, man?”

Etho sighs. “Fine.”

“So that’s the plan?” Pearl says. “We send in the three best players and hope you guys can get him out?”

“Is there something wrong with that?” 

“No, no, it’s fine, I just feel like there’s something more we should be able to do.” She points at herself, Scar, and Bdubs, then waves a vague hand in Gem’s direction. “Right? I don’t wanna be sitting around twiddling my thumbs while you guys are down there.”

“I could try dreaming again?” Bdubs suggests. “Like—I could be down there all invisible helping you guys out.”

“And I’ll be your man in the van!” Scar declares.

“Our… what?” Hypno blinks.

“You know, your man in the van! Like Grian in Phasmo!”

“He means he’s gonna sit out here and not do anything,” Gem cuts in.

“Hey! I’m going to offer my best commentary.”

Etho pulls a face. “Can we pass on that?”

“Okay, so, what about me?” Pearl asks. “What should I do?”

“I know what you can do,” Gem says. 

Pearl turns to look at her. “You do?”

“Sure.”

Cub glances up at Gem, and instantly his senses tell him that something is wrong. He can’t quite put his finger on it—is it that she’s suddenly stiller than usual? The way her fingers twitch towards the sword sheathed at her hip? The stony look in her eye, the smile stretching eerily across her mouth?

Before he can figure it out, Gem answers the question with, “You can stop me.”

Her sword is out before anyone can say anything to that, coming down on Bdubs’ shoulder and splitting him in two. Bdubs respawns in the bed across the room with a cry, his body dissolving into golden and green light that soaks into Gem’s skin as she laughs and wipes the blood from her skirt. Cub is on his feet in a matter of seconds, pulling his own weapon and shield, as the rest of their little circle scatters apart and away from her. 

“Gem?” Pearl cries, drawing her axe, taking several careful steps back. “What are you doing?”

“Sorry, Pearl.” Gem’s smiling, but there’s a note of genuinity in her voice, a slight shake around the edges. “I can’t just let you break the rules!”

“Who died and made you hall monitor?” Scar mutters as he wheels as far back from Gem as he can get.

“Tango,” Gem says, her breath misting in the air like it’s several degrees colder than the waiting room actually is. “He told me I need to stop you by any means necessary.” She takes a step forward, swinging her sword and letting the tip of it drag across the ground. “And as much as I want to save him, well… Any means necessary it is. Unless... you stop me.” She steps just into Pearl’s personal space. Cub watches as frost begins to creep over the tip of Pearl’s nose.

“The dungeon ate you too,” he realises.

Gem grins with too-sharp teeth and swings her sword upwards.

“Run!” Pearl cries, parrying it with the blade of her axe. “Go, go!”

“You heard her!” Etho says, and then he and Hypno are running, leaving Cub watching the fight unfolding.

“Cub, what are you doing?” Hypno cries. “Come on!”

Cub should run, is the thing, should join them in their trip down. He knows it, right down to the itch in his skin that begs him to move. But that’s the problem—there’s an itch that makes him want to move. A foreign presence too familiar to not recognise, blue veins stretching across his skin, the voice different but the motive all the same.

Go with them, begs the skulk, begs the dungeon, and Cub looks at the ferocity with which Gem fights and feels an inkling of fear in the back of his brain.

The dungeon ate Tango. It’s eating Gem.

…What happens when it eats me, too?

“Cub! We’re gonna go without you!” Etho cries, and the skulk screams, and Cub flinches away from the fight and towards his friends.

“Sorry! Coming!” he cries, and races towards the drop-down into the hall below.

“Dude, for a moment, we thought you weren’t gonna come,” Hypno says. “Thought you were gonna leave us out to dry.”

“Nah, man,” Cub says, shoving his blue-coated hands in his pockets, trying not to squirm. “I’m with you, I’m with you.”

“Right. Everyone get their decks and meet back here,” Hypno says. “Who’s paying?”

There’s a long pause.

“Well, you know, I got the least shards…” Etho says, shuffling.

“You also have the best win rate.”

“I wouldn’t say that…”

“I’ll pay,” Cub says. “I’m sure Tango will reimburse me, anyway.”

The two of them glance at him. “Oh, okay. Thanks, Cub.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Cub smiles at them. “I just wanna get down there as fast as possible. Speedrun, come on. Let’s get our decks.”

----

It’s weird, going in with three people: first they sort through their cards, try to figure out the best way to build their individual deck into one larger one, bicker about getting the correct cards back at the end of the day. Then they have to decide—well, it isn’t a real run, so is it worth taking their armour in? What about food? Would taking a sword to a ravager be a smart move, or a particularly stupid one?

Some part of Cub—a part that he’s not too keen on inspecting—recoils at the idea of cheating to such an extent, and he tells the others so. They agree—a little reluctantly, maybe, but he thinks they all feel uneasy at the idea of angering the dungeon, when it’s already in Gem trying to tear Pearl apart upstairs, and it’s already got Tango trapped somewhere deep within its depths. So: no armour, no food, no weapons. Just the three of them, and their frankenstein deck, and all the wits they have about them.

Man, Cub just hopes they aren’t making a mistake.

“Shotgun!” Hypno calls as he hops in the minecart. Cub hops onto the back of the minecart, arms around Hypno’s shoulders and feet firmly planted on the transom at the minecart’s rear. 

“Sorry, Etho,” he says with a faux-sheepish, not at all apologetic smile at the third member of their party. “Guess you’ll have to walk.”

“Oh, no, I can fit,” Etho says, and promptly throws himself into Hypno’s lap.

Hypno yelps. “Dude!”

“What?” Etho bats his eyes innocently, but Cub will bet anything that there’s a smirk beneath that mask of his. “Are we ready to go?”

“I guess,” Hypno grumbles, wincing as Etho repositions himself in the cart.

“Press the button, let’s go,” Cub says.

“Pressing the button!” Etho says, reaching up to hit it and then ducking his head to avoid hitting it on the low ceiling of the tunnel.

The minecart ride takes an age, and yet takes no time at all: the air turns frigid around them as they descend down into the depths, and Cub gets a sense of what Scar had been talking about, the feeling of being surrounded by something alive. He tightens his grip on Hypno’s shoulders, sucks in a steadying breath—

And then falls in a heap on top of the other two as they’re all forcibly ejected from the minecart into the same space.

“Oww…”

“Ugh.”

“Welp.” Cub stands and shoves his hands in his pocket. “Better not do that again.”

“Trust me, I’m not planning on it,” Hypno grouses. “Who wants the map?”

“You can take it man, I don’t mind,” Cub says. “Just keep us updated on the card count.”

“Got it.” Hypno picks up the map, leaving the compass floating behind in the entryway as he heads towards the door. “Okay, what’s the game plan?”

“Split up and look for a key?” Etho suggests. 

“Won’t that just build up clank?” Hypno shoots back.

“EVASION,” bellows the dungeon.

“...Well, that answers that question,” Cub says, following the two of them down into the ice tunnels. “Anyone know where the ravagers are?”

“Not a clue,” Hypno says.

“Hopefully Tango will be nice to us,” Etho says. “Right, guys?”

“...Well, we can certainly hope,” Cub says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

His fingers close on the cold heavy compass shell that he did not put in there.

“Alright,” Hypno says as they make it to the circle. “Who’s going where?”

“I’ll go up the right tunnel!” Etho volunteers immediately.

“I’ll take the left,” Cub offers.

“And I’ll take the crypt, then,” Hypno says. “Okay. Use your comms—message if you have a key and we’ll meet at the kneeling man.”

“Gotcha,” Cub says, and with that they’re off. 

There’s nothing by the TNT pond, and only a few coins in the treasure spot on the leftmost tunnel. He snags some berries and hops across the dripstone, pausing in the opening of the tunnel as he hears the distinctive huff of a ravager. He presses himself to the wall, and feels the wall shudder behind him, not quite solid. He freezes and, slowly, reaches back to press his hand into it. 

The skulk that’s eaten into his fingers shivers, and like recognises like, and the cold surface of ice and stone feels almost warm.

Like frostbite, Cub thinks, almost absently. He feels warm, but he’s cold. His breath mists in the chill air.

Without thinking, he steps out into the path of a ravager. 

He blinks at the ravager. It blinks back at him. He can see his silhouette reflected in its eyes. 

“Hey, man,” Cub greets. “Are we gonna be cool about this? Great, thanks man. Knew I could count on you.” 

He can feel the dungeon’s gaze on him as he stares the ravager in the eye. His fingers are black and blue. The cold feels almost cosy. He tightens his fingers around the compass. 

“We’re cool,” he says again, and he’s not talking to the ravager this time. “I’ll get it, don’t you worry.” 

The ravager, slowly, turns and begins to walk away. 

<Hypnotizd> got a key

Cub turns and walks the other way, leaving black and blue footprints in his wake.

-----

Down on level two, there’s more ground to cover. Etho heads towards Rusty’s room. Hypno takes the lava pathway. Cub makes a beeline through mushrooms to the dripleaf parkour.

He finds a key in the amethyst, floating in the water right beneath a ravager’s feet. It watches him docilely as he ducks in and picks it up, leaving with a casual wave. 

The parkour is easy. The lake, even easier. Willie throws a trident, but it feels more like a greeting, an inside joke, than it does a threat. The throw goes wide, anyway. Cub drags himself to shore, shakes off the water like a wet dog, and approaches the barrel.

He sucks in a breath. Tightens his fingers on the compass. Pulls out his communicator with his other hand.

<cubfan135> sorry guys

<cubfan135> gotta do it

<cubfan135> you know how it is

<Hypnotizd> ???

<Etho> cub what are you doing

<Hypnotizd> what

<cubfan135> good luck making it to lvl3

He tucks the device away and opens the barrel, placing the key into the slot. There’s a familiar chime, and then the door opens with the hiss of pistons firing. Cub takes a steadying breath as he steps through the doorway, and finally pulls the compass from his pocket.

His hand is fully covered in skulk, the veins rotting their way into his flesh, inseparable from his skin without carving them out. It’s not an unfamiliar feeling. More skulk-spots dot the surface of the compass, but he can still see the needle through them. Can still see the inscription, telling him to go deeper into the dungeon.

And so Cub goes.

He doesn’t bother crouching. Level three goes so much quicker when you don’t have to worry about being quiet, when you know that even if the wardens do hear you, they won’t care. The skulk sloughs from his legs, leaving sticky trails of fungal soul rot behind him. He can feel it creeping up his spine, weaving into the cracks between the bones. The dungeon is dark, and he can’t tell if it’s because he’s got rot in his eyes, or because he’s close enough to a warden for the blindness to take effect. He supposes it doesn’t really matter. He knows where he’s going anyway, the skulk veins in his nervous system controlling his legs so that he doesn’t have to.

Hm. It must be in his brain already. If it wasn’t, he’d probably be a lot more panicked about being puppeted like this.

When did it get so bad? He feels like he should have noticed it getting quite this bad sometime before this run. It had started when he’d begun running deadlies, of course, when he’d first touched the skulk and had veins wrap themselves around the tips of his fingers, like recognises like. The rot knows that he’s been a home for it before—knew he would be a home for it again. And Cub had taken that little vein, that infection, back up to the surface, and he’d told it no. Had told it, just for Halloween. Just a costume. He wouldn’t do what he did last time, and overtake the server with mould and decay. He’s not about that, anymore.

And yet, here he is, covered in the stuff, rot in his bones and blood and brain. How had he not noticed? How had nobody noticed?

(He thinks of Gem, perched in the walls, skin turning grey and eyes turning sharp. He thinks of Tango, trapped by his own dungeon, deep within the depths of a cave he’d sacrificed months of his life to. He thinks of run after run, of heart-pounding, adrenaline-rushing fun, of shard-cravings and withdrawal-fever, and he thinks that maybe, maybe he understands.)

(Nobody had wanted to notice, because noticing would have meant having to stop.)

(And nobody wants to stop playing Decked Out.)

Cub comes to a halt as the compass’ needle begins to spin wildly. He takes a few steps back and forth, feeling for the minecart beneath his feet, and drops the compass into the hopper.

A dispenser spits... something back into his hands.

CF135, says the label on the something, but this is not the artefact Cub’s familiar with, not the model rocketship with his name carved into the side. This could barely be called an artefact at all, a bloody and writhing handful of intestine, frozen half-rotted flesh beneath his fingers. He gags, nearly dropping the guts, blood spattering against the skulk that coats his legs and being absorbed into the rot. The guts themselves have spots of skulk-vein spattered across them, barely visible through the red, pulsing blood that drips from them, and they twitch despite clearly being dead, dead, dead.

“What is this?” he cries out to the dungeon. “Why have you given me this?”

Something tugs on his leg. Gently, barely there, and then—

Cub lets out a scream as he’s pulled down through the floor, pain flooding his body as his pelvis hits the hard stone floor. The skulk surges, crawling up his body, consuming all in his wake, tugging him down, down, down. The intestines wrap themselves around his neck, squeezing just tight enough that his limited vision darkens even further, that he panics, before loosening ever so slightly to allow him to gasp. 

Cub wails.

“Hey, no, stop it, I don’t—Tango! Tango, hey, man, please, stop it—!”

The dungeon quivers around him. The skulk slows in its consumption, leaving Cub half-eaten and shaking on the dungeon floor. His chest shudders as he sucks in one breath, and then another.

“That’s it, man,” he manages to choke out through the tears. “We can talk about this, can’t we? I promise—I won’t even try and get you out, if you don’t want me to. I’ll stop the others. Just—don’t do this. Okay?”

Everything is still for a moment. Silent. 

Cub feels a vein of skulk drag itself slowly, comfortingly, across his cheek, leaving a bloom of decay in its wake.

“Cubby,” the dungeon sighs, voice as unfamiliar as the word is familiar, and Cub lets out a sigh of relief.

“Tango! Hey, man. Good to see you, good to see you.” He may be a little delirious, actually, he thinks as he babbles. “Hey, so, you can let me go, yeah? I’ll get out of your hair—or into it if you’d prefer—whatever, man, I’ll do whatever, as long as you let me go. So—we’re good? Yeah?”

The intestines tighten, not enough to choke, but enough to hold. A hug, an embrace, in the only way a dungeon made of rotting flesh knows how. Cub melts into it. He’s in so much pain, is the thing. He’s in so much pain, and he’s so, so cold.

Something yanks on his leg, and a shrieker howls, and the skulk devours, and Cub manages one last cry before he’s pulled down into the dark.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

So, shall we all congratulate Sah Brockner on working what must be the longest notice period in Holbyverse history? Most characters don't even seem to work one at all.

Putting the jokes aside: I thought Casualty was brilliant tonight. Faith not being in it went some way to making sure of that - I'll savour this moment, I'm sure it won't happen again for months - but it was also just very well-written and well-acted. Also, it had plenty of the social commentary that Casualty needs.

I am going to miss Sah very, very much. I have to say: I am very sad indeed about Sah leaving. I don't think I've been so "I get why they left but I'm also incredibly sad they can't stay forever" about a character since Jade. Sah has been a great character - they've been quiet, sarcastic, a bit socially awkward, sometimes cold but deeply caring when it comes down to it, occasionally stubborn, a fast learner, passionate about what they believe in and willing to stand up for others. (I also interpreted them as autistic.)

Oh, and they happen to be nonbinary.

Casualty has done a lot for trans representation with Sah and for that I will always be tremendously grateful. Has everything about how their character has been handled been perfect? No. I've critiqued things about their portrayal before and those still stand. But, as you can see, I just wrote a whole paragraph describing who Sah is without having to mention that they're nonbinary once - because while it's a significant aspect of who they are, just as something like their mum not being around for them or them being a carer for their dad has been, it's not the only trait Casualty gave them.

There are many, many trans characters out there who may have been well-meaning attempts at representation but are nonetheless tokenistic portrayals with few to no personality traits or stories beyond being trans - which doesn't exactly do anything to change the stereotype that we push our "lifestyles" on everyone all the time, does it? (I think stories about being trans can absolutely be worthwhile, so it's mostly the characters themselves I'm talking about: IMHO, they need more to describe them than just "oh, they're the trans one!" to be good representation.) But Sah was different. I don't know that I'd say Sah was groundbreaking, but they've certainly been meaningful representation to me. For one thing, they've been written in a way that has let them have stories that are about them being trans and stories that have nothing to do with them being trans, which is great.

I'd also like to say that Arin Smethurst's acting as Sah has been great throughout their time on Casualty! It's been very lucky to have them.

I thought how Sah leaving was handled in the story was very well-done too. It was very believeable and didn't feel too sudden or anything like that at all. Their faith in the world and in their profession was so very shaken - I can understand why they would just want to get out after that.

Their last scene was particularly excellent. Obviously, I was jealous when they got a hug from Jacob. Their hugs with Jan and Iain were also so cute. And the silent farewell with Teddy - that just got to me. I've read Sah and Teddy as being in love with one another for a long time now, but even if they weren't romantically in love, there was clearly a very deep love of some kind between them so this last scene was just so sad to see.

Speaking of which, there seems to be a running theme now of characters leaving because they just can't take it anymore. Now I'm wondering if that's how Charlie will leave. I'd think that more impactful if there hadn't been a fakeout version of it quite recently, but oh well.

After all this time, a proper storyline for Jacob! I'm sort of sad that Sah left this week because it means I had to type all that out instead of getting to put Jacob at the top when he finally gets a proper story, lol. He was brilliant tonight, absolutely brilliant. I cannot say enough how much I love him. And we got an allusion - a subtle one, but I thought it spoke volumes - to his trauma. I love it when the writers remember things like that, especially in contexts like this Stevie story where it's definitely needed. As always, Charles Venn was so good!

The story with Habid was, I thought, one of the best patient storylines in a long time. A very emotionally impactful storyline - it made me cry, even - and much-needed social commentary. It's a story I'm glad Casualty told.

Now, as for the rest:

The Max, Jodie, and Stella scenes were very good, as was the scene with Max and Stella alone. Nigel Harman was incredible in that scene between Max and Stella. I'm so sad that Max will be leaving so soon. And I'm sad that his backstory almost certainly won't get to come through properly before he does.

I like that Jodie is unsure of what to do about Max. It feels very realistic.

I keep saying Max is like a neo-Henrik, and once again it was very clear tonight. That scene where he was basically telling Jodie he didn't know what he was doing but he did want the three of them to get to know one another as family - that was so sweet.

I did think the story with the other woman Jodie was treating was a bit boring, but I get why it was there - so that Jodie would think everything with Max over a bit more.

The camerawork in some scenes made me feel somewhat dizzy, but as usual recently, that was probably the point so I don't particularly mind it.

Stevie's characterisation was very interesting. I can't wait to see where this goes for her. Her interactions with Jacob were fascinating, because it made me think back on Jacob last spring, in a somewhat similar situation - both Stevie and Jacob respectively are/have been blaming themselves for something, but Jacob ran from it and switched professions, while Stevie is gripping on as tightly as she can to any sense of control. She was very unlikeable at some points tonight, which is something I wouldn't normally say as a Stevie fan, but I'm sure it's intentional.

I don't like Harry. I can't tell if we're supposed to like him. I hope we're not, because I don't.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm vaguely interested in the Natalia and Iain storyline. It sort of makes sense that she'd feel an unrequited interest in him. I mean, it's cliche if that's where it's going but it also makes sense. I think Natalia wants comfort and a nice, present parental figure more than anything else, but will misinterpret her feelings as romantic. I've had similar moments, so I can relate to that. Seeing how he responds, and when he inevitably has to turn her down, might be interesting. I just want Faith herself to be kept out of it.

So, yes, tonight was great. I have no idea what's meant to be happening next week. I hope Jacob's in it again with another proper storyline.

[cynical-mystic]

Commentary prompt!

--

Not for the first time, Claude wonders just why Sylvain invited Felix to join their weekly tea and chess time, despite Sylvain’s explanation that he wants the two of them to get to know each other better. Instead of learning more about Felix, Claude’s guard has gone up tenfold, helped along by the fact that he soon realizes he can’t ever really know Felix, not like Sylvain does. The face of the one person he’d ever thought of as a friend as a child flashes behind his eyes and he has to focus on not breaking the teacup in his hands.

“That’s just because you don’t care about strategy,” Sylvain says, waving off Felix’s complaint as he studies the board. “You’re all go, go, go, you rarely stop and think.”

“Look who’s talking!” Felix snaps. “You’re the fool who’ll throw himself in front of anyone being attacked if there’s the slightest chance they might get hurt.”

Crack!

Umber and vermilion eyes turn to him, but Claude is already grabbing for a napkin to wipe up the small amount of tea that was left in the cup he just broke. Thankfully it was his turn to provide the tea set, so he doesn’t have to worry too much about replacing the damn thing. Sylvain leans over to take the pieces from Claude while Felix watches, eyebrow raised.

“You okay, Claude?” Sylvain asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, still not looking at him. “Just a stupid accident.”

Claude knows that the only reason why Sylvain accepts this as easily as he does is because Felix is there; otherwise, he’d press Claude for what actually happened.

Once everything is clean, he realizes his hands are shaking, so he clenches his fists.

“I think I’m going to have to bow out early,” Claude says, reaching out to knock over his king. “Sylvain, do you think you can take care of all of this?”

“Sure, but–”

Claude all but knocks his chair over getting up and walking away.

Jose, I love you, but did you really have to pick the one scene in that fic where I wrote it and was like "I'm not even quite sure why this is the way it is?" 😅😂🤣 Thanks for the submission! I love this fic so freaking much. I'm putting the rest under a cut because we get kind of long. Hope you enjoy!

This excerpt is from Chapter 9, "Proof of Pain," in Tangled Winds, the first entry in my Green Sarabhas series. I wrote this fic in a month and a half, and it's the longest thing I've ever written.

Not for the first time, Claude wonders just why Sylvain invited Felix to join their weekly tea and chess time, despite Sylvain’s explanation that he wants the two of them to get to know each other better. Instead of learning more about Felix, Claude’s guard has gone up tenfold, helped along by the fact that he soon realizes he can’t ever really know Felix, not like Sylvain does. The face of the one person he’d ever thought of as a friend as a child flashes behind his eyes and he has to focus on not breaking the teacup in his hands.

Okay, so you know that writing advice that says to write what you know? When I write, I put so much of myself into what I'm working on that sometimes I can go back and say "ah yes, I know exactly what I was trying to work through while I was writing this."

This is not one of those times!

In this fic, Claude is so insecure. There's this through line of this childhood friend that betrayed him and essentially ruined his ability to trust other people. For this scene specifically, Claude is struggling with the concept of letting Felix into his life. He's built a relationship with Sylvain to the point where he trusts him, but he knows next to nothing about Felix, and the one thing he does know is that Felix has been friends with Sylvain since they were children. Claude's assumption here is that, no matter how close he and Felix may wind up getting, Felix's first loyalty will always be to Sylvain.

For someone trying to build allies to help him when he takes the Almyran throne, that won't work.

For a scared, lonely boy who wants absolute assurance that he's the most important thing to the people he cares about, that won't work.

“That’s just because you don’t care about strategy,” Sylvain says, waving off Felix’s complaint as he studies the board. “You’re all go, go, go, you rarely stop and think.”

“Look who’s talking!” Felix snaps. “You’re the fool who’ll throw himself in front of anyone being attacked if there’s the slightest chance they might get hurt.”

Crack!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Claude hasn't seen Sylvain in real battle yet, and has no idea how much of a self-sacrificing idiot the boy he loves is. The fact that this revelation comes from Felix reinforces the idea that Claude will never be enough for Sylvain, and that he'll always need Felix too.

While emotionally healthy, well-adjusted adults know that you can be the most important person to someone while they still have other friends who fill niches you can't, Claude is none of those things here.

The reminder that Sylvain could die and therefore leave Claude by doing something Claude can't really fathom doing himself at this point certainly doesn't help.

Umber and vermilion eyes turn to him, but Claude is already grabbing for a napkin to wipe up the small amount of tea that was left in the cup he just broke. Thankfully it was his turn to provide the tea set, so he doesn’t have to worry too much about replacing the damn thing. Sylvain leans over to take the pieces from Claude while Felix watches, eyebrow raised.

Okay, I will claim this paragraph as me protecting and not just being possessed by these idiots like I was while I wrote this entire series.

When I'm panicking, I tend to focus on mundane details as well, and when I try to remember things later, sometimes I'll pick out those mundane things instead of the thing that made me panic. It's a comfort thing, something I can relatively control.

“You okay, Claude?” Sylvain asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, still not looking at him. “Just a stupid accident.”

Claude's thoughts here: Don't show weakness, don't show weakness, don't show- because in Claude's world, weakness is severely punished.

Claude knows that the only reason why Sylvain accepts this as easily as he does is because Felix is there; otherwise, he’d press Claude for what actually happened.

Anyone else use situations like this to their advantage? No, just me? 😅 Maybe there's more of myself in this scene than I thought.

Once everything is clean, he realizes his hands are shaking, so he clenches his fists.

“I think I’m going to have to bow out early,” Claude says, reaching out to knock over his king. “Sylvain, do you think you can take care of all of this?”

I'd like to focus on Claude's king for a moment. This fic was supposed to be "Sylvain and Claude get to know each other over chess after Claude harbors Sylvain for a night and gets curious," and while it spun widely out of my control, I went into this with no plan, so we're still clinging to the vestiges of that original idea here.

Also, I really don't think Claude would be able to stand leaving a game hanging like that.

Now that I think about it, it's also kind of symbolic of Claude's general submission in this situation. Instead of facing his fear and talking it out in the moment, he's leaving.

“Sure, but–”

Claude all but knocks his chair over getting up and walking away.

This is meant to portray the haste with which Claude gets up and flees. I'm not quite sure how exactly he would go about almost knocking his chair over while he stands, but that level of detail is typically irrelevant to me.

I love this ship, I love these three, and I love this entire series. Thanks again, @astaraxion, for the ask, and for being the best beta a person could ask for, and for being my friend. 🧡💜

[heiilari]

Roleplayer name: Vixen (<- a name given to me by a old friend )

Roleplayer pronouns: She/Her

Muse name(s): hazbin muses: Eve , Lilith , Vexious , Lute || Multifandom : Kiiva , Siren && Alys || Call of Duty: John Price , Simon "Ghost" Riley , ALONE, Vladimir Makarov && John "Soap" Mactavish || Resident evil: Mother Miranda && Mia

Preferred communication: Discord , because it's easier for me to remember to reply to things when I get notifications && tumblr ims are a pain in my ass

Experience: Ya girl has been roleplaying since she was a squeaker ( well say like 13ish ) and has grown a lot when it comes to lore writing, oc writing i came to tumblr when i was like....19-20ish. I've always had fun writing and still do and my longest roleplay partner is from 12 years ago! ( we still talk and roleplay everyday)

Preferred roleplay type: I personally like writing paragraphs and using icons but I don't mind if My roleplay partners don't have icons, Dash commentary, Memes && such is always fun to and highly encouraged! I am always one to write numerous threads with the same partner too.

(Note: I don't expect everyone to have icons , write extra long posts like I do etc . Just give me something to work with!)

Pet peeves & dealbreakers:

People not respecting a roleplayers rules / not reading them. That is such a pet peeve of mine. I understand it's humanly impossible to remember every single rule and detail of every single person. But it takes .5 seconds to click a link and ctrl + F to look whatever you need to look up

Another one that annoys me is when people don't read a characters bio! Please read that stuff before interacting with someone and if you're confused or have questions just ask the writer! Oc writers work hard on their characters and same with canon divergent writers , it's always a good practice to remember that not all of one muse are the same!!

Deal-breaker: Being a minor / lying about not being a minor && pushing boundaries.

People have boundaries for a reason , just like any other normal human being sometimes we gotta enforce it so don't villainize someone for standing their ground on their personal boundaries

As for minors && age lying : just don't do it man...just don't , there's a lot of minors who write with other minors , don't lie about your age to your fellow roleplayers. Be honest because at the end of the day were all looking out for each other. Some of us write things that may make a person underage uncomfortable and that's why we got MDNI (minors do not interact)

Best time to write: uhhh honestly im not even sure im sparratic as fuck with my activity, some days I'm up early other days im asleep till mid afternoon or im at work for 12 hours lol. So it just varies. Though My communication always is open

Are you like your muse?: I mean??? Maybe I got a lot of mental health issues and trauma so I kinda make sure I write characters who have that stuff or ones I can connect with on a personal level. Though this isn't a yes for all because I am the farthest thing from a blood thirsty creature . I'm actually quiet tired all the time lmao

In some cases I guess I can be like my muses it just depends on which personality traits you're looking at

Tagged by : no one I stole it tbh

Tagging: YOUUUUUU