#but starting tomorrow I may start doing some things differently to try and fix some of this shit

[vettelsvee]

GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET | Sebastian Vettel ✩₊˚.⋆ PART 5: I'LL NEVER LEAVE... NEVER MIND [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

goodbyes are bittersweet masterlist | wattpad f1 masterlist | ao3 | ask anything or let's talk!

ferrari sebastian vettel x ex gf!female reader

word count: 4437

summary: after not seeing each other in almost five years, seb and y/n finally meet with just one purpose for her: telling seb they have a 4 year old daughter. will y/n be able to tell him?

warnings: mentions of sex. i think nothing else but i literally cried while writing this. i recommend that you listen to loml by taylor swift while reading this hehe

taglist: [ @saltycomicsanimalssalad @hc-dutch @mycenterfold @simplyamberj @spitesfvl-blog @jaydaaasworld @lottalove4evelyn @zoeyjadetice2010 @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]

a/n: i'm finally back! sorry you had to wait this long to get a new chapter but writers block had me going like crazy, as well as my mental health in general. i had something else planned for today BUT be aware of what I'm posting tomorrow since you might like it! christmas is coming soon and i have a surprise ready for you. let me remind you that feedback and reposts are truly appreciated. and also comment me your thoughts and theories on the story pls! missed you so much guys, thank you for everything, love you all <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

May 15th Heppenheim, Germany

“Y/N, remember that you need to be careful with what you say to Seb. I know you want to tell him about Emily, but also consider whether today is the right time. Imagine if…”

You stop listening to Hanna the moment her lips utter your daughter’s name. Instead, your mind started creating a thousand different scenarios about what could happen when you saw your ex-boyfriend today. Your gaze remained fixed on the mirror in your room.

You only returned home five days ago, but it felt like an eternity.

You knew perfectly well why, or rather, you knew perfectly well who was to blame for your distorted sense of time: Sebastian Vettel, of course.

The trip to London felt like a fresh start. While the main reason to go was your meeting with Capital Records to discuss what your near future might hold, you considered it as an opportunity to rethink what you wanted to do with your life from now on. 

You had just turned 30, and the only thing you longed for was to start this new decade with a clean slate in every possible way. That, of course, included facing your past mistakes and recognizing your faults, one of which you might be about to commit today.

Hanna acted as some sort of mediator between you and Seb because, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t bring yourself to send him even the simplest of messages. The driver seemed to understand, as he told Hanna not to worry, that he understood, and that all you needed to do was show up without standing him up. 

Despite having agreed to meet at your house, you decided to dress up a little to present yourself in the best way possible. After spending far more time than you’d like to admit choosing what to wear, you settled on a light blue knee-length dress and white Converse sneakers, with a bracelet your daughter made (or better said your mother made, just Emily took credit for).

"Y/N, are you even listening to me?"

The reflection of your best friend in the mirror startled you. You turned towards her, trying to maintain the calm you’ve lacked since returning from London. Exactly five days that have felt like five years.

Like the five years since you last saw Seb.

"Hey, cat got your tongue or what?" insisted the blonde. "Seriously, Y/N, I want you to be speechless, but preferably when you and Seb take the conversation from the couch to the bed and he makes you scream his name again just like he used to do when..."

"Hanna, for God's sake, shut up! Seb and I are only going to talk about..."

"I know, I know, I was just trying to make you laugh. You know I like to..." 

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

If you were restless before, pacing back and forth in your room, checking that there was no trace of Emily in the house for Seb to find, now you were frozen like a statue.

You looked at Hanna, and she looked back at you. You shrugged, but Hanna just put her exaggeratedly unfriendly faces.

"Hanna, no..."

"It's Seb, Y/N! It's just Seb, for heaven's sake," she interrupted, and you cut her off just as fast.

"It's the Seb I haven't seen in five years!" you stammered, feeling the anxiety taking over. "Seriously, Hanna, this was a very, very bad idea. I don’t even know why I asked you to tell him to come and..."

"Because he's the father of your daughter, and your only goal is to tell him!" she yelled, trying not to raise her voice too much but failing miserably. You hoped to God Vettel didn’t hear that.

"Hanna..."

"Since I know you're not going to open the door, I'll do it myself. Stay here or come down, do whatever you want, but I'll tell Seb to come find you because clearly, you can't handle welcoming your guest," she declared.

Without saying anything else, she strided out of your room. You could only follow her, practically tripping down the stairs, legs trembling like a teenager on her first date. Your pulse was pounding in your temples, while your mind kept screaming at your body to calm down.

As soon as you stepped onto the ground floor, you saw Hanna opening the door. Her cheerful voice broke the silence, asking Seb how he was and, to your surprise, inviting him in.

You inched closer, not quite enough for them to notice you. Then you stopped, inspecting Seb from head to toe, as if you didn't already know every inch of his body by heart. Even though you were used to seeing him on TV and social media daily, it felt like you haven’t seen him in all this time you’ve been out of touch. He was wearing a slightly worn-out white t-shirt and jeans. His hair was perfectly trimmed, though a bit longer on top, and his beard, probably several days old, was what caught your attention the most, looking just the way you liked it.

But what really captivated you was the bouquet of yellow tulips he was holding, just like he used to bring you for dates or whenever it was a special day for either of you back when you were dating.

You swallowed hard, guilt washing over you as you thought, for a fleeting moment, about him handing you a flower bouquet before you told him you were having his baby.

"Hi..."

You thought your whisper was too soft to be heard, but it was quite the opposite.

Both Seb and Hanna turned to look at each other, then focused on you, still standing in the entryway. Your best friend tensed up slightly, but you tried to reassure her with a slight movement of your hands. The expression on your ex-boyfriend’s face seemed to light up at your small intervention, even if it was minimal.

“Well, Seb, I'll leave you with Y/N. I have a few errands to run…” Your friend tried to excuse herself, though both of you knew it wasn’t true. “See you later for a drink guys!

She winked and quickly slipped out, shutting the door behind her before either of you could even say goodbye.

Now, it was just the two of you, alone.

Seb looked at you again, and you couldn’t help it but get lost in the blue of his eyes. The situation felt strange. You used to cherish every moment of being alone together, but now you didn’t even know how to say a simple "hello." 

You once trusted him completely, and now you were unsure whether to offer him a drink or tell him that you have a four-year-old daughter.

“Hi, sunshine,” he said, breaking the silence.

“Hi, Seb.”

He took a step towards you, slowly moving closer. You noticed how his gaze shifted from the flowers to your eyes, as if he was searching for some kind of answer from you. His eyes reflected a mixture of nervousness and tenderness, stirring a whirlwind of emotions inside you. 

He didn’t have to say it, you could see it in his eyes. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture, this little detail that used to drive you crazy, but now… you didn’t know how to feel about it.

You, on the other hand, were utterly stunned. 

How, after all this time and how cold you ended things, could he still do this? How could he still remember?

“These... are for you,” he finally said, his voice low and shaky. He handed you the bouquet, his hands trembling.

You met his gaze, and the way he looked at you was filled with fear, insecurity, and maybe, just maybe, a bit of tenderness. He didn’t need to say it out loud because you knew him too well. He was afraid of how you’d react to this gesture.

“Thank you,” you managed to say, taking your time to smell the flowers.

You couldn’t hold it in. Tears began to blur your vision, and a wave of embarrassment washed over you.

He noticed. Even though you didn’t want to, even though you didn’t feel capable of getting close enough to give him a kiss on the cheek or maybe even a hug, Seb did it anyway.

“It's okay, Y/N,” he whispered. “It’s okay...”

But it wasn’t okay… it was far from okay.

Sebastian Vettel was here, once again, standing in front of you, and possibly back in your life. The boy you once considered your best friend, the best friend you fell in love with, the driver you always supported, and most importantly, the father of your child, was back in your life in such an unexpected way that it still felt surreal.

“I don’t know...” you tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out. “It feels surreal that after everything, after such an empty goodbye, here we are, together again,” you confessed. “It’s weird seeing you in front of me in the flesh and not as pixels on a screen.”

“Y/N…”

“I’ve missed you, Seb. So much.”

You knew your honesty didn’t catch him by surprise, because he felt the same way. That’s what hurt the most.

“I missed you too, Y/N. I really did...” he said after a moment, wrapping his arms around you, and you pressed your face against his chest.

“Seb…”

“Don’t overthink it, really,” he interrupted gently. “I’m not here to talk about the past or blame anyone,” he paused, letting out a breath before continuing. “I just want us to go back to who we were before we were together. But, if I’m being honest, we’ve been in love with each other for so long that I can’t remember a time when you weren’t my everything.”

Your lips trembled. The weight of his words was too much for you to handle, at least today, in a first encounter where you haven’t even spent ten minutes together.

You felt awful. You felt shattered inside knowing that if you were in this situation, it was because of you.

“Well, Y/N, tell me…”

“No, no,” you quickly interrupted, grabbing his arm and guiding him to sit on the couch. Immediately after, you rushed to the kitchen to grab the drinks and snacks you spent all morning preparing. “You tell me first. Even though I’ve seen you on TV, I know you’re very private about your life, you know... You never share anything with the media, and well, you don’t even have social media so… How are you?”

He let out a short laugh as he picked up a bottle of water and a cheese-and-salmon toast.

“Well, to be honest, I’m doing much better than when you left me,” he revealed. It didn’t surprise you. After all, it was what you expected him to say. “You must have had your reasons for breaking up with me, and after all these years, I’m not going to ask why you did it. But I won’t lie to you… you left me shattered, Y/N.”

“Seb, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

“I know,” he cut in softly, making a gentle gesture with his hand to calm you down. “Like I said, I’m not looking for an explanation or an apology. I just want you to know how I felt. Mentally… damn, Y/N, you broke me, and I completely lost myself, but at the same time, that’s what gave me the strength to win the championship in 2013,” he looked away from your eyes, shifting his gaze to the wall. Nervously, he started playing with his fingers. “All I could think about was you and that, maybe, there was a chance you were watching...”

“Of course I was, Seb,” you said softly, trying to hold back the tears and keep your composure. “No matter what happened, I never stopped watching or supporting you. I’ve always been, and will always be, your number one fan.”

He nodded, a bittersweet expression crossing his face.

“That year, everything I did was with the thought in mind that you were watching and, somehow, it helped me move forward. But… 2014 was when everything fell apart,” he admitted. “Red Bull wasn’t the same anymore, or at least, I didn’t feel the same way. I wasn’t winning, Daniel was beating me… I felt like I had lost everything, including you and, with time, I started to feel like I had no reason to stay with the team or maybe even in Formula 1. Until Ferrari offered me the contract.”

You remembered it like it was yesterday. Unlike any regular sports fan, you found out through Heike when you were out for a walk with Emily.

“When I was given the chance to sign with Ferrari in 2015... Y/N, really, that’s when I realized it wasn’t the end. That’s what I needed to move forward. I think I mentioned it to you on WhatsApp, but I don’t know if you remember…”

You swallowed hard. Of course, you remembered. He told you just before the news became public, before his mum told you, but you didn’t know how to answer him or if you really should do it. The demons in your head made you think it was a joke, even just an excuse to get closer to you. And you also felt that if he did sign with Ferrari, it would open a door you had closed because you weren’t ready to face the truth.

Just like you were doing now.

“I remember, yes,” you murmured, unable to look him in the eyes.

“When I didn’t get a reply from you I decided not to push it. That’s when I realized you didn’t want anything to do with me. Yet I kept sending you stuff as you might know…”

“That’s not it…” You could barely speak. You were as broken as he was. “I read the message, Seb, but… I burst into tears and didn’t have the strength to reply. I didn’t want to give you false hope when I wasn’t ready to… I didn’t want to hurt you more than I already had,” you confessed. “I knew that if I spoke to you again, I’d hurt you again. And I’d hurt myself too. I couldn’t do that to you, Seb.”

He nodded, looking for some kind of affirmation in your gaze.

“At first, I felt really out of place on the team, you know? And I felt that way for a long time,” he revealed. “It was completely out of my comfort zone, and I felt like I’d never fit in. But little by little, Kimi, Maurizio, and the team made me feel like family. It’s strange to think about it now, but I can’t imagine being with any team other than Ferrari.” You agreed with him, from what you had seen on TV, it was clear he felt that way. “Fighting for the world title with them this year and having a real shot at beating Mercedes… I never thought I’d get to this point.”

You looked at him with a mix of admiration and nostalgia. This was the Seb you knew, the Seb with ambition, who always desired more and more. The Seb who never gave up.

The Seb who didn’t break down, even when he had every reason to.

“I’m so proud of you, Seb. I’ve always been, and I always will be. Don’t forget that.”

“Of course, Y/N,” he looked uncomfortable. Quite a bit, actually. “Well… enough about me. You know I don’t like talking about myself… What about you? What have you been up to all this time? My mom told me a bit, and I’ve seen you a few times, but…”

More than not knowing what to say, you sensed he didn’t want to intrude too much into your life.

You swallowed, trying not to get more nervous than you already were, because now, you supposed, was the moment to tell him about Emily.

“Well, not much has changed, really,” you started, unsure of what to say. “I’ve been in Heppenheim the whole time, except for a couple of trips to Berlin, but nothing unusual,” you tried to smile, but your mind kept circling around the fact that you had to tell him you had a daughter. “I’ve been working at the bar and writing music. To be honest, since we broke up I’ve had a lot more inspiration.”

And since I gave birth to Emily, you thought.

Seb didn’t say anything. You figured he understood. After all, he had thrown himself into his career to cope, while you had poured your emotions into writing songs about the story you shared to cope with grief.

“Now things have changed a bit,” you continued, trying to sound more upbeat to push away the painful memories. “Ever since Red went viral… I swear, I uploaded it without expecting anything, but the reaction…”

“The song is amazing, Y/N. Of course it went viral.”

“I’ve been offered a record deal,” you blurted out. “A few years ago, I met Niall Horan at the bar. You know, the guy who was on that band, One Direction…” Seb nodded, his eyes wide, encouraging you to continue. “He told me he was traveling to find some inspiration for his solo career, and I guess Heppenheim seemed like a good place for him to visit.”

“Wait, wait… a record deal?”

“Apparently, Niall told his label that I was the voice behind Red, and, well… Capital Records offered me a contract,” you explained. “They called me to have a meeting in London, which is why we couldn’t meet up last time…”

His face was calm, unreadable, though his mouth had curved into a big smile. He didn’t seem surprised, and you knew there was a strong chance Hanna had told him everything.

If that was true…

“I hope you accepted, Y/N.”

“Well… actually, I didn’t. I turned it down.”

His smile faded for a moment, and his expression became completely serious.

“You turned it down? Why? Sunshine, this is an opportunity…”

“Yes, I know it’s an amazing opportunity, but I can’t accept it. Not right now.”

You figured this was the moment you should tell him the real reason behind rejecting such a big deal, which included a tour if you sold a certain amount of CDs.

Sebastian kept staring at you, which only made you more nervous. You tried to gather your thoughts, searching for the right way to tell him you had a four-year-old daughter, but you couldn’t find the moment.

You couldn’t just drop it on him now, after all, this was your first real conversation in almost five years.

“Y/N, darling…”

“I can’t take the risk when the only thing I’ve managed is to get one song out of all the ones I sent to the label to go viral,” you half-lied. It was true that you didn’t want to talk about it yet, but you were also insecure about your music. “As much as I’d love to have an album, to fill stadiums and have people singing along to my songs, I can’t take that risk.”

“But, Y/N…”

“I’m not sure all the songs on the album would be successful, Seb.”

“Y/N, you have no idea what you’re going to regret if you let this go....”

“No, Seb, I know exactly what I’m doing, really,” you shook your head, firm in your decision. “This is the best thing for me.” 

And for Emily too, though you didn’t say that out loud.

Seb remained silent for longer than you would have liked, as if trying to process what you’d just told him. Then, he stood up, crouching down to your level, and taking your hands in his, he said:

“Alright. If you think your songs aren’t good enough, sing one of them to me.”

“What?” you asked, confused.

“If you turned down the record deal because you think your songs aren’t good enough for the world to hear, sing one of them to me.”

His tone, though calm, was direct and insistent.

“Seb… I can’t. I’m too embarrassed,” you laughed nervously.

“Come on, Y/N,” he said, gently rubbing your hands with his thumbs, just like he always did when your anxiety was at its worst. “It’s just me. I’m still the same after all these years.”

You sighed, knowing he wasn’t going to let it go until you gave in. It was Seb, and he always got what he wanted from you, even when you didn’t want to. In the end, you gave in, carefully standing up from the couch and heading towards the piano at the back of the room, gesturing for him to follow you.

You carefully slided the bench back, lifting the lid as you sat down. You positioned your hands, starting to play the first few chords to warm up, ensuring your memory flawlessly recalled the piece.

“This is song number 5, like your driver number... It's called loml.”

You continued playing, finally giving way to the song.

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing   Back into rekindled flames?   If we know the steps anyway   We embroidered the memories   Of the time I was away   Stitching, ‘We were just kids, babe.’   I said, ‘I don't mind, it takes time.’   I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed   I felt aglow like this   Never before and never since.

Your voice shook as you began to sing, but you kept going, holding on to what your ex-boyfriend had told you about how he knew it was about him. As you settled into the song, you started feeling more comfortable, just like you did when you used to sing for Seb. Though you couldn’t look at him because you were absorbed in the key, your fingers delicately moving over it, you could feel his eyes on you.

You shit-talked me under the table   Talking rings and talking cradles   I wish I could un-recall   How we almost had it all   Dancing phantoms on the terrace   Are they second-hand embarrassed   That I can't get out of bed?   Cause something counterfeit's dead.

Tears started falling from your eyes as you approached the final part of the song. Memories of your shared history flashed through your mind like a movie. Your vision was completely blurred, and you felt a tightness in your chest that was overwhelming, making it hard to breathe, almost impossible to keep singing. Somehow, though, you fought to hold it together, just as you did the day you said goodbye to the man now sitting beside you.

Oh, what a valiant roar   What a bland goodbye   The coward claimed he was a lion   I'm combing through the braids of lies   ‘I’ll never leave’... ‘Never mind.’   Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire   Your arson matches your somber eyes   And I'll still see it until I die   You're the loss of my life.

Silence filled the room as you played the final notes. With your hands still resting on the keyboard, you looked at Seb. Once again, you didn’t know what to say to him, and you knew he didn't either. He was motionless, running a hand through his hair, probably trying to process what he just heard.

Y/Ni, this song... it’s about us, isn’t it?”

“It might be,” you admited, unable to lie to him, at least not about this.

He sighed. You could tell he was affected; you knew it the moment his tears began to form, just as yours continued to flow.

“You should rethink the contract,” he said firmly. “This song deserves to be heard by more than just me, your parents, and Hanna.”

“I can’t, Seb. I just can’t…”

“Can I sit next to you?”

You looked up and saw him gesturing to the bench. Confused, not sure what to do or say, you shifted a little, making space, and he sat beside you. Seb didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around you, offering a comfort that felt wonderful but also caused you to crumble a bit more inside. 

You surprised yourself by resting your head on his shoulder.

“Why are you so determined to convince yourself you don’t deserve this opportunity?” His tone was soft, just like the way he stroked your hair. “Do you really think you're not good enough to be a successful singer?”

“It’s not about being good enough, it’s that I’m not,” you whisper,ed your throat tightening. “I’m not a good person, Seb, and it’s only a matter of time before I screw up again and hurt someone, just like I hurt you.”

“Does this… have something to do with the second date in your YouTube channel username?”

You stood your head up, staring at him in confusion while trying not to panic.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your username,” he repeated, moving closer. “I figured out that the numbers represent two dates. I know for sure that one of them is June 15, 2006, the day we started dating, but the other one… I don’t know what January 12, 2014 means for you because we weren’t talking by then, but it must be important. And based on what you just said…”

Your eyes widened in shock. You were paralyzed, not knowing how to react. 

How could he have noticed something so… insignificant? How had he connected the dots and figured out the dates you had in mind when you created that account?

You thought this would be the perfect moment to tell him that the second date marks the birth of your daughter, the daughter you had together; that on that day, while you were in labor, he was at the hospital waiting for some exams results and he was talking to your dad, who couldn’t contain his excitement about his granddaughter’s arrival and had to keep it a secret from him.

But you couldn’t. Not yet. You need to regain his trust first. You and Seb needed to rebuild the kind of relationship you had before you became the love of each other’s lives.

“Seb…” you trailed off, unable to continue. “I swear, on everything that matters to you, I’ll tell you, but right now… I just can’t.”

He looked at you for a few seconds that felt like an eternity. You knew him better than you knew yourself, and you knew he was persistent, that he needed an answer, but you also knew he was respectful and wouldn't push you.

“That’s okay,” he said finally, a bit resigned. “I understand, it’s fine. I’m not asking you to tell me now if you’re not ready, but I want you to know that when you are, I’ll be here to listen.”

You looked at him, grateful, and nodded without saying anything else. 

You both sat at the piano bench for a while, in silence, listening only to the sound of your breathing and the melody of the song replaying in your mind, as intrusive thoughts overwhelmed you.

“If I waited almost 19 years of my life to be your boyfriend, I can wait a little longer, it doesn’t matter the time you need, for you to tell me,” Seb finally spoke, and his words broke you a little more than you already were. “Let’s be friends again, what do you think?” he offered, giving you a small smile. “Let’s take things slowly, like maybe we should have done when we first started dating. You know…”

“Slowly, no problem,” you repeated, smiling back at him.

You felt a weight lift from your shoulders at his words. Maybe you were not at the peak of your relationship, and maybe you’d never got back there, but at least you were working together to turn your story into something new.

“You know what, Y/N? I’ve always felt like our story wasn’t over. I don’t just mean that romantically, but in a broader sense,” he said quickly. “We have a whole lot of history, and now is when we’re going to start writing our second book.”

“I know, Seb. I’ve been thinking the same thing ever since I said goodbye to you,” you confess. “That day, goodbyes were bittersweet, but I knew it wasn’t the end and that I’d see you again.”

Before the year ends. I’m telling Seb Emily is her daughter before December 31st.

[you-call-it-a-dude]

Call It What You Want Pt.3

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.4 Pt.5

Summary: You get together with your friends to catch up on life and they're skeptical about what you're doing with Regina. A house party at Shane Oman's house gives Regina the chance to prove them wrong

Pairings: Regina George x Gender Neutral/Fem Reader

Warnings: internalized homophobia, underage drinking, drug use (there's some coke involved, but nothing too crazy I promise)

Notes: Hi! Chapter 3 and I'm just having so much fun with these. Listen, I know there's another party, but it's college. I'm keeping it realistic lol but also, next chapter will be a small time jump and they'll get more well established. Just trying to have some fun and build it up and see how things are shifting I guess?? Anyway, I really hope you like this chapter as well and thank you all for taking the time to read. Also, slight mention of drug use, but just a little dabble. But TW just in case. But I kept it not super crazy and kinda light for that reason

///

You were at your desk with your headphones on, doing your best attempt to do the readings for one of your classes that was due tomorrow. You always had a tendency to wait until the last minute for things, citing the excuse that working under pressure helps you think better. College may be testing the limits of that theory, but so far you haven't failed anything horrendously. It's only been a month since classes started though so there's still time.

Two arms wrapped around you from behind, caressing your chest and collarbone. You shot forward in your seat, ripping your headphones off your head and whipping your chair around to confront your roommate for majorly crossing a fucking boundary when you were met with a laughing Regina instead.

"Chill out, it's just me. Your roommate let me in before they left."

You stared up at her waiting for your heart to calm down. Though, staring at her wasn't doing you much good cause now it was just beating faster in a whole different way.

She was dressed up, her oversized designer purse that she uses for her backpack was sitting by your doorway so you know she must have stopped here right after class.

Something about that makes you feel all warm and giddy inside.

You also try not to think about the fact that you haven't seen her in like almost two weeks though.

"What brings you by?" You leaned forward, resting your forehead against her stomach and closing your eyes when her hands find their way to your scalp, massaging softly.

"I wanted to see you. I've just been busy with classes and soccer stuff lately." She gave your hair a tug so you would tilt your head back and look at her.

"When's your first game?" You questioned, your hands finding the backs of her thighs because that's what was within your reach and you almost felt like if you weren't touching her right now, you would implode.

"We've already had like three games."

"Oh." You said, your eyebrows furrowed. The hands on the back of her thighs faltered slightly and you didn't realize how much you wanted to be present at one of her games until you basically found out you were probably never going to be invited.

"Why the face?" She frowned, rubbing her thumb between your eyebrows to essentially try to get you to fix your face.

"Can I come see you play?"

"Uh," her voice was a touch higher than normal and you knew whatever was about to fly out of her mouth was either going to be a lie or something you probably didn't want to hear.

"Don't worry about it." You shook your head and gave her a tight lipped smile, leaning back in your chair.

"Stop, don't be like that." She straddled your lap and you tightened your grip on the back of her thighs because the last thing you needed was for her to fall. "I just can't have any distractions while I'm there."

"No, yeah. That makes sense." You agreed for the sake of moving past this conversation, but you also weren't really looking at her either. She gripped your face with both her hands, forcing you to look at her.

"Stop, Y/N." Her tone sounded less playful and you knew you just needed to let it the fuck go. You nodded and she squeezed your cheeks, pushing your lips out and planting a kiss on your lips. You quickly caught her lips for a second kiss before she could pull away and you could feel her smile against your lips.

She slid her hands down and cupped your neck, deepening the kiss. You could feel her rubbing her thumbs along your jawline and having Regina George sitting on your lap kissing you has to be what heaven feels like.

"I have to finish my homework." You mumbled against hers lips, pulling her closer to you by the backs of her thighs. She responds by grinding down into you, shaking her head no. You gasped when her hips moved against you again and she wasted no time slipping her tongue into your mouth.

"Fuck your homework." She said before bringing you in for another heated kiss.

It was tempting. God, it was so fucking tempting. The way she was grinding against you was making your brain short circuit so you know trying to get anything done would be impossible.

"Stay here with me and hangout." You pulled away from the kiss to look at her, pushing some stray hairs from her face. "Ren will be gone for a while. It'll just be us. I can order pizza, too."

"Ugh, I guess I could do some homework, too." She said begrudgingly.

"You probably should if you want to keep playing soccer."

"You probably should if you want to keep playing soccer." She mocked, rolling her eyes at you.

But the fact that she had her arms draped over your shoulder and had been twirling the hairs at the back of your neck around her finger really made you feel like she was not as upset about spending time with you as she was trying to let on.

"What kind of pizza do you want, beautiful?" You sneak in one more quick kiss because you just couldn't help it.

"Would you judge me if I just said cheese?"

"Never."

You both just stared at each other in silence for a few moments. One of Regina's hands moved to cup your cheek, her thumb swiping against your cheekbone. She leaned in and pressed a soft, slow kiss against your lips.

"I'm gonna change and get everything I need from my room. I'll be back." She gave you one more quick kiss before getting off your lap and you felt almost desperate the way you tried to keep your hands on her until she walked out of reach. So desperate that even having your fingertips on her felt better than nothing.

She took her keys from her bag and left it sitting against your wall. There was no question about whether or not she was coming back. When she closed the door behind her you hopped out of your desk chair and to to work on straightening up your room.

You fixed your bed, moved some clothes out of the way that were in the way. You had this bean-bag lounge chair thing that your mom got you and you pulled it out from the little space between the wall and your dresser where you shoved it because it took up way too much room to keep out daily.

You plopped onto the chair and called to order a large cheese pizza, opting to order from a nicer place instead of Dominos since Regina would be joining you. You got a soda for yourself and a sparkling water for Regina and added two cannolis for dessert.

Regina knocked on your door about twenty minutes later. She was dressed in comfy sweats and a crew neck, carrying a few books and her laptop and charger.

You smiled and stepped aside to let her in.

"Sooo, I have a paper to write that's due tonight that I forgot about. Where can I plug this in?"

"You can take my desk. Let me see." You looked at her charger and nodded. "We have the same one, just use mine and plug your computer in. I only have to do some reading and annotating tonight." You carefully took her charger from her and set it on her bag.

She set all her items on your desk and started to carefully move your stuff to the side, making sure to bookmark the page you were on and to put your laptop to sleep properly before closing it.

You grabbed everything she set aside and set in on your bed, grabbing on the book you needed, your pen, and a highlighter. You took everything to the beanbag chair that was situated slightly behind your desk.

"You're so far away." She commented, turning in your chair to face you with a small pout.

You chuckled and grabbed the back of the chair, dragging it to the small space between your desk and your bed and setting it there. You picked up your book and your pens and plopped down. Regina nodded in approval and turned to her computer.

After twenty minutes of straight reading your eyes needed a break. You closed your book and stretched, looking up at Regina to see her texting. Her computer screen split between an empty google doc and the school portal that actually signed her out for inactivity.

"Have you even started?" Nudging her leg with your foot.

"Hmm?" She hummed, waiting until whatever text she was working on was sent before looking up at you.

"Your paper."

"I will. Relax." She rolled her eyes and made a face at you before turning away. Which actually kind of pissed you off a little.

"Fine. Don't come crawling to me for any fucking help then." You adjusted yourself in the beanbag chair, opening your book again and continuing to read.

You could hear Regina typing every once in a while, but when you would look up you would see her doing online shopping or pretty much anything that wasn't homework. You continued to read for almost another thirty minutes until you got a call from the pizza delivery person that they were at the front desk of your dorm.

"Did you pay? Let me pay for it." She stood up, helping you off the beanbag first before attempting to go to her bag.

You pulled her back by her wrist and pulled her into you, wrapping your other arm around her waist.

"I've got it. Don't worry about." You kissed her quickly and patted her lower back before releasing her. "Get the tv remote off Ren's desk and pick something for us to watch while we eat. I'll be right back, babe."

You grabbed your keys and slipped on your shoes so you could head downstairs.

You returned a few minutes later with the box of pizza and the bag with your drinks and dessert.

Regina had cleared off space on multiple surfaces to make room for the food and for you both to eat. She was waiting for you patiently on your bed, laying comfortably against your pillows while scrolling through the streaming app of her choice.

You set the pizza down and got everything situated. Pulling out paper plates and napkins then making plates for the both you. Regina held both your plates while you pulled out the drinks and opened them.

"You got me a drink!" She said excitedly when she saw you pop open her sparking water.

"Yeah, baby!" You set the drinks on the edge of your desk and slid in to bed next to her, taking the outside once again.

You settled on watching Schitts Creek while you ate, having to talk her out of a Real Housewives show and reminding her that she was the one we with a paper due tonight.

You watched one episode while you ate and you watched a second one to 'let your food digest', both of you settling further into your bed. Regina had her head on your chest, rubbing the part of your arm you had wrapped around her that she could reach.

Your biggest mistake was letting her convince you to put on more episode for good measure. Actually, no. Letting her pull a blanket over the both of you was the mistake.

She was out within the first five minutes of the third episode, though your fingertips rubbing her scalp weren't really helping her stay awake.

You gave her until 8:30 before turning off the show and waking her up gently. You kissed the top of her head, calling her name after every kiss until her eyes fluttered open then back closed. She buried herself deeper into your embrace.

You found her cheek and kissed it repeatedly and obnoxiously until she got annoyed enough to wake up. It was a short nap, but you can tell it was a good one just based off the redness in her face from both how she was laying and how warm and comfortable she was.

You pushed hair from her face and handed her her drink, giving her just a few minutes to fully wake up on her own without being rushed.

When Regina was fully awake, you both made your way back to your designated homework spots. You sat more comfortably this time, your legs stretched out with your feet resting on Regina's lap. Something she had actually encouraged you to do which surprised you a little.

You had no complaints about it though. Since her deadline was creeping up on her she was actually doing her work, but whenever she would pause to read something or think about what she wanted to type out next, her hands would find their way to her lap and trace patterns on your shins and ankles to help her think.

She got her paper submitted about five minutes before the deadline. Did she almost have a few mental breakdowns? Yes. Was she cursing out her professor? Also yes. But as soon as it was submitted you could tell she was visibly relieved she got it done.

"When can I see you again?" You asked her, handing her her bag as well as a small ziplock of pizza.

"Tomorrow?"

"I can't tomorrow." You shook your head. "I'm gonna be seeing Ava and Isaac tomorrow."

"Who?" She raised her eyebrow.

"My friends? From North Shore? We are gonna meet up after classes tomorrow."

"Oh."

"What? What's wrong?" You asked, immediately detecting a shift in her mood.

"You're not gonna say anything, right?"

You swallowed the lump in your throat. You were obviously hurt that she didn't want anyone knowing, but also like if she wasn't ready she wasn't ready.

"Yeah, of course. Don't worry about it." You gave her a reassuring smile and despite the night you had together, she left without kissing you goodbye.

---

You met Isaac and Ava at a burger place near your campus that they had been wanting to check out. They both went to a different university in the city so it was nice that getting together wasn't impossible because of distance.

It was just impossible because of life.

You all greeted each other excitedly and ordered your food before getting down to the nitty gritty of your catch up.

Isaac had an STI scare and told you he finally got himself put on PrEP after you had been begging him since the school year started. His parents are also filing for divorce since he and his siblings are all 18 and over which he is actually pretty thankful about cause he was sick of them together. You and Ava were shown a multitude of different Grindr profiles of the guys he's been with, offering praises for the good ones and some reality checks for the questionable folks.

Ava hasn't been too involved in the dating scene. She has begun dabbling in some drugs that were a little heftier than what was usually provided at the house parties thrown by her brother. She did tell you that if you ever hear her mention meth or heroin, that y'all had permission to get her ass to rehab. But right now, it wasn't that serious.

You definitely made them share their locations with you indefinitely though.

"So, Y/N, drop the dirty details. What's been going on with you?" Isaac asked, taking a sip of his soda.

"I've been seeing someone. Maybe? Kind of?" You felt yourself blushing just thinking of Regina.

"What do you mean maybe, kind of?" Ava jumped in defensively. It was her and Isaac's turn to play the concerned friend role with you. "Do you have a picture?"

"I do, but she's not out yet."

"What does that matter we don't know he-oh, we fucking know her don't we? From North Shore?" You nodded and Isaac smacked the table. "At your school??" You nodded again and you could see him thinking, going through the list of everyone in your class that he knew of that went to your school. Which, was not a lot. "I can only think of like five people and two of them are boys." He held up three fingers, putting them down as he went through them. "Lupe Campos, Amira Harris, and Regina George." He put his three fingers back up and wiggled them.

You shifted ever so slightly when he said Regina's name and you and Ava made eye contact. She narrowed her eyes at you and you know you've possibly been found out.

"She doesn't want to be out. I'm not-I'm not confirming anything." You managed to stutter out.

"Shane is having a party tomorrow. My parents are out of town. He invited a bunch of high school people cause you know, he def peaked in high school and can't let that shit go. Are you coming?"

The notorious Shane Oman is Ava's twin brother. Two complete different personalities (almost), but unsurprisingly they're both pretty close to each other since they're twins. Apparently he had been struggling with life lately since graduation so this party is apparently his desperate attempt at finding purpose and popularity again.

"Yeah, I'm down. Could be fun." You shrugged.

"I heard he invited Regina and she will also be going."

Okay, well, see that you didn't know.

"Good for her." You nodded, playing with your fries before pushing your plate away.

"She didn't tell you?"

"Why would she?" Isaac interrupted before you could respond. Neither you or Ava spoke, but the eye contact between the two of you was enough for Isaac to finally connect the dots. He gasped before collecting himself. "Seriously? Regina George?" He said her name barely above a whisper, being conscious of the fact that you said she wasn't out yet.

You didn't tell them, technically.

"She's actually really great and just misunderstood."

"You could make the same argument about polar bears or crocodiles." Ava argued, pushing her hair behind her ear. "You don't think that her coming to her exe's house party and not saying anything to you is, I don't know, suspicious?"

"You never fall for the straight girl." Isaac piped in and Ava snapped in agreement.

"She's just figuring herself out." You defended.

"At your expense, babe! Come on! You know better."

"It's so different when it's only us. She's just scared." Ava gave you a look that could only best be described as pity and it didn't make you feel great.

"I get you, you know I do." Isaac reached across the table and grabbed your hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. "Just be careful."

"No, yeah. I know. I am."

---

You took the Metra to Evanston early Saturday afternoon, bringing a bag with an outfit or two with you and deciding to stop by and visit your dad, step mom, and little siblings.

They all greeted you excitedly and you spent the afternoon playing with your siblings, two year old Levi and 9-month old Zoe. It gave your dad and step mom some time to themselves and it gave you time with your siblings, something you both appreciated.

You started getting ready to go around 7pm. Levi hung out with you until his bed time and when your dad came him to pick him up off your bed, he gave you the speech about being careful, to call him at anytime if you needed a ride, not to drive drunk or get in the car with anyone that has been drinking or doing drugs. Pretty much just covering all his basic before releasing you into the wild.

Isaac picked you up around 9:30pm and when you got there the house was already packed a vibrating. Definitely not to the capacity it used to be since it's a random weekend in the middle of the semester, but still pretty full nonetheless. Regina's pink jeep was parked in the driveway. She must have had the same idea as you and came to Evanston early to see her family.

The fact that she was parked in the driveway and not on the side street or the front lawn made you want to throw the fuck up.

You did particularly enjoy the fact that, as far as you knew, Regina did not know you were coming. You felt like you had the upper hand. You put extra effort into your outfit and your hair. You didn't expect her to talk to you tonight or even acknowledge you if she saw you tonight. But that didn't mean you couldn't make it difficult for her not to.

You walked into the party and past a bunch of people who have never bat an eyelash at your existence in high school. You pushed past the drunk, high, sweaty party goers with Isaac clutching your jacket and guided him through the crowed to the kitchen.

Regina was in that area, drink in hand, talking to Shane, Gretchen, and Karen. When she saw you it was like she saw a ghost. You could tell she didn't expect to see you there and that it threw her off.

You were at the counter where all the drinks were laid out, debating between a bright blue drink and a bright green one. Both looked equally questionable. You felt a presence beside you and you knew it was Regina because you could smell her perfume.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, filling up her own drink and not making any eye contact with you.

"Ava invited me. Shane's twin sister." You added for clarification.

"Shane's twin?" You turned to her to say something, but she looked at you briefly and could tell her comment annoyed you. "I'm kidding. I know he has a twin. I didn't realize your Ava and his Ava were the same." You just nodded, deciding to take a chance on the bright blue drink and putting your cup under the spigot of the cooler it was in and filling your cup.

"You look really pretty tonight." You told her before taking a sip of your drink. She blushed and pushed some hair behind her ear, topping off her own cup.

"So do you." She smiled and took a sip of her drink as well, still not turning to look in your direction.

Karen and Gretchen waved her over and Karen shouted for her to bring them more shots.

"I'm surprised you're talking with them." You made yourself look busy while she prepared their tequila shots.

"Shit is different when alcohol is involved. I miss them a lot sometimes."

"Need help?" You watched her finagle the three plastic shot glasses and the red solo cup in her grip.

"Got it." She moved past you, knocking into your shoulder and making your drink splash over slightly onto your hand.

How she prevented anything from spilling onto her was a fucking mystery.

You found Ava and Isaac in the garage with a few other people, passing around joints and bongs. You took a seat on one of the chairs Ava saved for you and she handed you a joint before your ass hit the seat.

You vibed in the garage for about two joints until Ava pulled out a small bag of coke. That cleared the room quite fast honestly. Only you, Isaac, and two other people stayed with Ava.

She offered it to everyone and Isaac refused immediately. You hesitated to say no and she smirked, asking you if you were interested. That she would make sure it was a small bump and you would be totally okay.

Sure, you had only been drinking and smoking weed prior.

You were too scared to snort it, Isaac calling you 'so real' for that. Instead you were taught how to rub it on your gums and how to let it sit under your tongue instead.

The first fifteen minutes after were great, although seeing your best friend who was like this innocent band nerd just a few months ago snort a line? That was not anything you would want to see again.

You were fine until Gretchen and Karen came in to the garage Regina-less. Something about that had you start to feel a little bit anxious.

They came in asking Ava some question about where something was and she questioned where her brother was and you were out of that room once you heard he was in his bedroom.

You felt anxious, like your heart was going to fly out of your chest. Also, weirdly enough, you felt like you could totally fight someone and win right now.

You made your way to Shane's room and saw the door closed. You turned the knob and it was locked.

"Fuck." You sighed, pressing your head against the door briefly before pulling away.

You dragged your feet down the hall to Ava's room, opening the door and shutting it quickly when you saw the room was already occupied. You made a mental note that you would hopefully remember to tell her to wash her sheets.

You were kinda feeling sick and you didn't want to go back downstairs so you walked to the very end of the long hallway by the window. It was quiet and secluded and you sat with your back against the wall so you could watch all these assholes at the party.

You weren't sure how long you had been sitting there, maybe ten minutes max. You thought it was starting to wear off, but seeing Regina coming down the hallway arguing with Ava, and Isaac hot on both of their heels, had you thinking you were hallucinating.

You leaned forward and the three of them rushed to you, Regina shoving past Ava to get to you first. You heard an 'ooop' escape from Isaac's mouth and you met his gaze with a smirk. He winked and gave you a nod.

Regina was on the floor, kneeling in front of you with your face cupped between your hands.

"Hey, are you okay? You've been missing for a fucking hour." She titled your head up to look at your eyes in the light.

"I've been up here the whole time."

"Well we asked around trying to find you, but got conflicting information. Turns out, people are fucking stupid." Ava jumped in and Regina whipped her head around to give her what you assume was the most foul look both her and Isaac had ever seen judging by their faces.

Clearly Regina and Ava have not been getting along. You squeezed your thighs together at Regina's protectiveness over you then raised an eyebrow at Isaac. He shook his head and gave you a look that told you you'd talking about it at some point later.

"I'm so sorry, guys. I had no idea. I didn't mean to scare you." You still sound a little dazed and confused, trying to figure out how that hour passed in ten minutes.

"What happened?" She asked softly, her hand under your chin and her eyes searching your face.

You thought it over, trying to remember why you even came up here in the first place. You looked around the area and your eyes bounced to Shane's bedroom door. You furrowed your eyebrows, trying to get your brain working again. Regina didn't come from Shane's bedroom. You have confirmation that she's actually been trying to find you for the last hour.

"I don't remember. It's nothing." Your eyes bounced between her face and Shane's door once more and she knew exactly what your thought process was.

She shook her head no and let her thumb brush over your bottom lip quickly when she was pulling her hands off your face. She stood up and helped you up.

"Do you want me to take you back to your dad's?" Isaac asked as soon as you were on your feet.

"What? No. I'm good. Should we get another drink or something?" The last thing you wanted to do was be more of a vibe killer than you already had been. Especially for Regina.

"Yeah! That's what I'm talking about, baby!" Ava exclaimed and gave you a high five. "Want some more?" Ava teased, giving you a playful nudge and you both laughed. She was teasing you, you knew that. Joke or not, Regina didn't like it and you could tell by the way her grip tightened on the back of your shirt. "Seriously though, you should go home. Your eyes are fucking crazy right now."

"Where's my phone?" You asked when you noticed your pockets were feeling a little light.

"I have it. Let's go." Regina tugged your shirt and nudged you forward. "I'll bring you home."

"Nobody has to bring me home. I will take an Uber or call my dad. I'm not ruining anyone's fun. I feel fine guys, honestly." You lied. You felt nauseous and dizzy. Your heart was also racing crazy fast and you aren't sure if it's from the coke or Regina's fingertips against your back. "Also, Ave, people were fucking on your bed. Before I forget."

"Ugh, what the fuck!" She stomped and busted into her room. It was empty now, but very clearly, uh, used. She abandoned you to take care of that mess and you honestly don't even blame her.

"I'm gonna take you. Let's go." She repeated, clearly eager to just get you the fuck out of there.

"I'm gonna walk out with y'all. This party just ain't it for me, honestly." He held his arm out for you and Regina nudged you toward him. You hooked your arm around his and he walked you down the stairs, Regina trailing not too far behind you. "Let me tell you something." He said when Regina was out of earshot after letting you know she was going to get her purse and say goodbye to people.

"Hmm?"

"I thought Regina was gonna beat Ava's ass, girl. She was pissed." He shoved past the last few people on the front porch and led you to Regina's car.

"Really, why?"

"Well, I ran after you trying to find you. You were like a fart in the wind. Just poof, gone. Could not find you. I swear I went upstairs and you were not there, granted, I didn't necessarily look down. I came to Ava to get her to help me find you. Mind you, at this point, Regina came in to look for Gretchen and Karen cause they were still in the garage fighting over some stupid shit with her. Regina came in and overheard I couldn't find you. Ava was dismissive at first, said you would be fine. Regina kept her cool, kept it together. But then," he rested you against her jeep. "But then she said 'it was just a little coke. They're fine.' Honey, if you didn't tell us y'all were sneaking around, she would've gave it away then and there."

"Get the fuck out. What did she do? Wait, shush she's coming." You readjusted yourself when you saw Regina approaching with her bag, a bottle of water, and her clunky keys in hand.

"Talking shit?" Was the first thing out of her mouth as soon as she got close enough, sending a smirk your way while she unlocked the car. "Thank you, Isaac." She said as he helped you get situated in the passenger seat.

"I don't even feel it anymore, guys. I really think I'm fine."

"Mmm mmm." He shook his head, reaching across you to hand Regina your seatbelt to click in. "You need some sunglasses or something you look scary."

"Goodnight, Isaac." You rolled your eyes and he pressed a kiss against your cheek. "Text me when you're home?"

"Of course. You, too, please. I'm calling you tomorrow, too. Night, Regina." He waved at you both before closing the door and making his way to his car.

You both watched in silence waiting for him to get into his car safely.

"You're gonna come to my house tonight." She stated, putting her car in drive and not really giving you an option. She pulled your phone out and handed it to you. "Text your dad. I'll bring you home in the morning."

You unlocked your phone to see a bunch of texts and calls from Isaac, Ava, and mostly Regina. You can tell at some point, they all found your phone or realized you didn't have it because the messages stopped around the same time.

The final message Regina had sent you on their quest to locate you, after a slew of semi annoyed ones, or about how it wasn't funny, or that she was actually worried, was simply just 'baby please'. You stared at the words for a minute, letting the words burn into your brain before you were pulled from your thoughts and asked you if you texted him.

"Oh, yeah. Yes." You shot him a quick message and he responded almost immediately. He must've have been awake watching tv or playing a video game, but he's always been a night owl like that. Especially on weekends. He told you to be safe and to call if you needed anything. "Are you sure it'll be okay that I'm there? I can go home. I really think I'll be okay."

"Stop."

"Okay, sorry." You settled into the seat, turning your knees away from her. You felt bad about ruining the party for her, ruining her night, making her feel like he has to bring you home with her and take of you.

You were probably overthinking and maybe still slightly paranoid, but it just wasn't a great feeling.

She clicked her tongue in annoyance and reached across your seat, grabbing your knee furtherest away from her and giving it a tug so they were back facing her direction. She kept her hand planted firmly on your knee until she pulled into the drive way of her mansion. Which, yeah, understandable.

She parked in what was probably an eight car garage and led you inside of the house. There was a light left on in the main stairway for her, but otherwise it seemed the rest of the house was asleep. When you tried taking your shoes off at the door so you weren't too loud, she told you everyone took their sleeping pills for the night and would be too knocked out to hear a damn thing.

She led you up to her room and closed the door behind her. Your eyes widened, taking in the space. It felt bigger than your mom's apartment.

"Here." She was smirking when she handed you a pair of clothes to wear for the night. A grey long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of pink sweatpants that had 'slut' written on the back.

"You think you're so cleverrrr."

"I do, actually. And funny. Plus, I think I deserve it for what you put me through."

"I want to lay down so bad I'm not even going to fight you on it." You wouldn't admit it aloud, but they did look comfortable.

"And I want a picture."

"Okay, don't push it." You gave her a pointed look. She laughed and kissed your lips once, then a second time. She let the second kiss linger a little longer, her hand resting on your cheek and her body melting into you.

"I'm gonna shower. I don't care what time it is, I'm taking advantage of my big shower before going back to school. Will you be okay?" She swiped her thumbs across your cheeks and you nodded.

"In that big ass bed? Yeah I'll be so good."

Regina left to the attached bath to take her shower and you changed your clothes. You folded your clothes and put them on her chair. You changed into the clothes she gave you and hummed at how comfortable they were.

You climbed into her bed and picked the side you thought would be correct based off how everything was situated. You layed on top of the covers and sighed when your head hit the pillow. The beds at the dorms sucked, but this bed was also comfier than any other bed you've been on.

You closed your eyes, listening to the sound of the water coming from Regina's bathroom. You heard her come out of the bathroom at some point. She was walking around the room, doing a bunch of things but you were too lazy to open your eyes and see what.

The bed dipped and you felt her slide into the space next to you. The smell of her floral body wash and shampoo flooding your sense.

Her lips pressed against your cheek and her hand found it's way up your shirt to rest on your stomach to trace patterns around your belly button. You smiled and squirmed a little cause it tickled. You felt her smile against your cheek and she pressed a quick kiss to your lips before pulling away.

"Hey." You mumbled in protest, cracking an eye open to see she was adjusting the towel for her hair.

She laughed at your impatience and got herself comfortable again, supporting her head with her hand to keep it off her pillows for now. Her other hand found its way to the waistband of your pants, twirling the drawstring.

"These look good on you. Pink is totally your color." You grunted and she laughed through her nose. "I definitely need to see the back in action though. Give me a little turn." She nudged your hip and you let out a loud laugh, turning on your stomach for her. "So gorg, babe!" She was laughing with you, her hand coming down to smack your ass cheek a few times, which sent you both into a fit of giggles.

She wrapped an arm around you and buried her face between your shoulder blades. You tugged her arm to pull her closer to you and laced your fingers together. She shifted behind you and the towel on her head went zooming across the room. You settled deeper into her chest and her grip around you tightened.

"Will you need a ride back to school tomorrow?"

"I was just gonna take the train back."

"Ew, no. I'll take you to get your stuff from your dad's and we can go together

"Cool, thank you." You nodded, feeling yourself start to fall asleep. Regina kissed the back of your head and began to pull away.

"I need to do my skin and hair routine. Get under the covers and go to sleep."

"S'fine." You mumbled, already too far gone and making no effort to move whatsoever.

[starberry-cupcake]

I had time to read just one chapter but I wanted to make a recap anyway because the next chapter is like 360000 pages long (I may be exaggerating slightly) and I'm not sure if tomorrow I'll be able to update, so we're doing just gideon tonight (I have a feeling she'd love that wording)

previously, in harrowcita del 9:

this happened

CHAPTER 48

gideon tells harrow that she should have probably killed off mercygirl but she wasn't "thinking straight"

when has she, though

she decided to keep going further into the emperor's infested bolthole

she finds a lot of corpses of bees that have been killed already

and thinks harrowcita would have appreciated how bad and nasty everything looked

then follows the corpses and the scent of despair and murder and finds yandere twin at the end of it, standing like a pulp fiction killer

gonna illustrate with a susan denberg movie poster I find appropriate

yandere twin gets emotional and goes "harry, you're—"

to which gideon answers with "Alive, bitch"

gideon says that she "had long since ascended to the rank of double douchbag" which I consider another memorable instance of chad catching strays

and gideon has some Issues to Resolve with yandere twin

and by resolve, I mean fix them with Violence

she starts getting upset at all the things yandere twin did to harrow, which include "faked to your fucking face like she couldn't see a corpse that was obviously there"

I SAID I THOUGHT SHE WAS GASLIGHTING HARROW

gideon is very determined to fix all of this diplomatically

by beating the crap out of her

they start a banter that will be an incredibly entertaining thing to witness for the next pages

I can't make it justice in a recap tbh

I was just basically like

gideon will, in a very persistent way, throughout the conversation, tell yandere twin that harrow will never love her

yandere twin wants to give gideon funny nicknames, like who would do that, that's so disrespectful, I can't even fathom doing that at all

not to gideon, anyway

yandere twin says that mercygirl disappeared, augustine dropped out and gideon the first is trying to handle the stuff on his own, kinda?

she's surprised by the fact that mercygirl tried to kill harrow

"why did you ascend to be a lyctor?" "ultimate power—and posters of my face" "Fair"

they find augustine being useless in a hallway and, when he sees gideon's eyes, he panics and bolts out of there

these lyctors are all a joke istg each and every one of them

except for, I think it was cassiopeia, who had the ceramics collection, she's fine

well no, I don't condone planet murder for ceramics, but she gets a bit more points than the rest for them

there's a lot of talk about buttholes between gideon and yandere twin and I'm not above that, since I've been making bolthole jokes this whole time

gideon is living for the nudes in yandere twin's room

nobody is surprised about that

but there's no time to think about the nudes or buttholes anymore when yandere twin pulls out a harrow letter for gideon

gideon is going through it even before opening it, as are we

she finds her glasses and a note that says

"one flesh, one end"

"Fuck one flesh, one end, harrow" "Because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me. Which is, coincidentally, what your mother said to me last night"

always so poetic, ortus can't even get close to this level

gideon keeps telling yandere twin that she has no chance with harrow

"I hated those eyes in her face; I kept expecting to smell hair gel."

chad catching strays at every turn, I live

gideon explains about harrow being in love with ice cube barbie

"I know the signs of Nonagesimitis"

and yandere twin goes "All that fuss about the Saint of Duty. What a little hypocrite"

which I guess is because of the whole gideon the first and not!dulcinea thing? but that's like totally different form whatever this is???

there are layers to the corpse and lyctor relationships, you guys

it's a very wide spectrum

gideon says that her connection to harrow has to do with her being her cav which...ok, gideon

"Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention"

gideon rn:

yandere twin isn't deterred by all of this information and thinks harrow and her have an eternity to bond because they're lyctors

as if they weren't doomed right now but ok girl, go for your dreams, I guess

gideon threatens yandere twin not to be nasty with harrow and to get away from her with her nasty necro ways

yandere twin goes "What can I say, I love a little gall on gall"

which absolutely wins gideon over for a sec

"Reverse everything I just told you. Let's get married"

I knew the horny puns would help them bond

it's the little things sometimes that bring us all together

yandere twin says chad used to say she would "go to hell and get fucked" and you know what, fuck that guy

this is why he's still catching strays on a regular basis 9 months later

yandere twin wants to take gideon to see dr reverend emperor john

gideon goes "No, thanks. I'm good"

that's what I would have said, I approve

but she has no choice, because harrowcita is still gone and whatever's going on is ??????

so, out she goes to follow yandere twin to see this asshat

who maybe will, at the very least, give us a little more info on gideon's demigod status

fingers crossed

hope he dies

And that's it for this update!!! It's a short one but we're moving forward!!!

[bulkyphrase]

De-Aged Steve Rogers - a fic rec list

Some of my favorite stories featuring Steve (and sometimes others) turned into a child or younger adult.

Chase All The Clouds From The Sky by written by IndigoNight, with podfic read by reena_jenkins (@jeminamoonnight, @reena-jenkins) (Gen, General Audiences, 15,421 words)

Summary: Magic is the worst. The Avengers are prepared to deal with a wide variety of crises, but an abruptly six-year-old Steve Rogers is not one of them. Especially not when their resident Rogers-expert is reluctant to cross the Winter Soldier-sized gap separating him from his miniaturized best friend.

5 Times an Avenger Realized They Don't Know Steve + 1 Time One Did by WendyDarling95 (@cap-is-bi) (Samsteve, Teen And Up Audiences, 22,876 words)

Summary: A witch sends Steve back mentally and physically to who he was in 1941, and now the Avengers are starting to realize that while they've known Captain America for years now, they may never have met Steve Rogers. Takes place in 2016 5 chapters of an Avenger realizing Steve is more than he seems + 1 where someone knows him very well

More below the cut!

Baby Steve Adventures by catty_the_spy (@cattythespy) (Gen, General Audiences, 2,955 words)

Summary: Captain America gets hit by a spell during a battle. The rest of the Avengers look after him. Also available as a podfic read by blackglass

The Adventures of Not-So-Baby Steve by catty_the_spy (@cattythespy) (Gen, General Audiences, 2,070 words)

Summary: Steve's adjusting to not being a baby. Everyone else is adjusting too.

Small, Not Stupid by @rsadelle (Gen, General Audiences, 346 words)

Summary: Bucky's not going to let the kid fall - even if it weren't a tiny version of his former best friend, he wouldn't do that - but he's not real thrilled about having a small version of his former best friend - who he hasn't seen in seventy years - clinging to him.

The Kids Weren’t Alright by lettered (@letteredlettered) (Gen, Teen And Up Audiences, 56,199 words)

Summary: Tony accidentally turns himself into a twelve-year-old using alien tech. Steve is stuck as bodyguard, Bruce is stuck trying to fix him, and Pepper is stuck trying to ward off a twelve-year old’s attempts at flirtation. And then things go from bad to worse.

For I Am Crystal Chrome by IamShadow21, kath_ballantyne (@iamshadow21) (Gen, Teen And Up Audiences, 8,116 words)

Summary: “Don't touch that,” he forces out, his throat as rough as gravel. “Don't.” “Okay,” the person says, and doesn't try to pull out of Tony's grasp. “Okay, I won't.” Tony sucks in a sharp breath and opens his eyes. “You're American. The terrorists got you, too?” The man he's holding on to is young, very young. He's slender and frail looking with a pale, wan face, and Tony would know him anywhere. “Terrorists?” Steve Rogers asks, with confusion. “Oh shit, I really am dead, and there's an afterlife, and it sucks,” Tony moans.

Mixed-Ages Classroom by harcourt (@haforcere) (Gen, Not Rated, 5,114 words)

Summary: For this prompt, where the Avengers are de-aged, but to different ages; Clint & Tony to young children (below 10), Bruce to a toddler (whose tantrums involve hulking out to bb!hulk), Natasha & Steve back to teenagers (with scrawny!Steve). In which Hulk is a baby, Natasha and Steve know they aren't real teenagers, Clint and Tony behave badly, and Maria Hill is not a parent but Coulson might be. Also available as a podfic read by blackglass

The Tactical Applications of Caramel Apples and Ring-Tailed Lemurs by @caffienekitty (Gen, General Audiences, 2,342 words)

Summary: Loki de-ages Captain America. This is not the best idea he's ever had, but he can work with it.

Meet Tomorrow If You Choose by Dira Sudis (@dsudis) (Samsteve, Explicit, 9,440 words)

Summary: "Not quite like the other me, huh," Steve said, because there was no point pretending. "Nah, actually I was thinking I can see it," Sam said. "The way you stand--you project, you know? Like in a way you really always were the big guy, just your body took a while to catch up."

De-Aged Steve Rogers by @sabrecmc (Stony, Not Rated, 8,458 words)

Summary: Steve gets de-aged and clings to Tony

Second Childhood by @navaan (Stony, General Audiences, 2,006 words)

Summary: Steve and Tony get de-aged and it brings some problems, but maybe it gives them a chance to start over.

Smells Like Teen Spirit by @jenthesweetie (Stony, Teen And Up Audiences, 7,363 words)

Summary: Because that’s what the magic explosion had done: it had turned all of his friends into hormonal, pimpled, unbelievably obnoxious teenagers. When he called Fury to ask for advice, Fury laughed, hung up on him, called him back just to laugh some more, and then said, “If nobody’s dying, Stark, I really don’t care” and hung up again. Tony wondered vaguely who he had pissed off, besides all the usual suspects. This felt more as though he’d pissed somebody off in, like, a cosmic way.

Clint Barton And The Adventures In Terror Twin Rearing by @attackofthezee (General Audiences, 3,074 words, No Archive Warnings Apply)

Summary: “Maybe it’s aliens.” Steve hisses at Barnes. “Aliens don’t look like people Steve.” Barnes says with all the surety of an eleven year old. And ho boy, does Clint kind of want to introduce this version of these two to Thor. In which Steve and Bucky are somehow turned into their ten and eleven year old selves and Clint Barton is somehow nominated to take care of them. It goes about as well as can be expected. Also available as a podfic read by quietnight (@quietnighty)

They Could Never Be the Same by ABrighterDarkness (@alwaysabrighterdarkness) (Thundershield, Teen And Up Audiences, 1,234 words)

Summary: The situation at hand being a magically-miniaturized Steve Rogers who had hardly spoken a word but followed either Thor or Natasha around like a tiny shadow ever since they’d been released from Medical. SHIELD medical were, of course, every bit as shocked to have the Avengers show up en masse to deliver an apparently four-year-old Captain America to get checked over.

[certifiedsexed]

hey so i am a Rambler so i'm going to elaborate on why i'm asking but, what would you say is the adequate age to have partnered sex with someone of your age you're in a serious relationship with and trust very much?

i'm going to try to like, tldr it a Lot but basically my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly 7 months (anniversary tomorrow! let's go), she currently lives to the city next to mine (like, 50 minutes away or so?) and while we've seen each other a good few times and our parents are friends with each other she's recently told me that her and her family is moving to my city, and fortunately actually pretty close to my house too (yay!). we're very good with communication (at least i think so 😭) so we've talked a bit about sexuality-related stuff and we both agree we'd like to try something like that when we both live near each other. both of our families are very sex positive and open about letting us do our thing if it's in private and we do research first but then my doubting comes in because what if we're like... not prepared enough? or not mature enough? though i don't actually know what exactly i think could happen (i think it's generally "what if we're not mature enough to consent" or "what if we get hurt somehow" but mostly it's just a strong Anxiety about, if i may say, fucking it up) i don't want any of us to be like, affected in any way because of that so i'm a little scared LOL. you're the best resource i have for this that isn't my parents (thought that'd be an awkward conversation) so i thought i'd try to ask you about it! :0

also since i just realized i didn't even specify on this at the start (😭), i am 13 and she's 14 with only a few months of difference, tho i'm pretty sure that when she moves here it'll be after my 14th birthday? (we are also both afab, i assume that doesn't really matter but just in case you wanna give any specific advice?)

thank you SO SO much in advance just typing this out has eased my thoughts a little bit

Hi! I'm a fellow rambler, so welcome. ^_^

My simple answer? There is no specific "age" that is "adequate" for you to have sex. There's also no specific age as a child where you "can't" consent to having sex with someone in your age-range.

If you both want to have sex and decide to have sex, that's great! That's an adequate time to have sex!

If you're not prepared enough, let me tell you what happens: you stop and you talk about it.

It sounds like y'all are doing well and there's no reason for your communication to suddenly die the moment sex becomes part of the equation.

If y'all can talk about having sex, then you can try to have sex and talk about it as you try. Not being prepared enough does not have to be a nightmare situation, Anon.

Realizing "oh hey I don't know how to do this" can be fixed simply by saying that to your girl and asking, "Do you know? Should we do some research?"

It's not a failure and its perfectly okay to realize you don't know what you're doing! You haven't done this before! In fact, your girlfriend might not be prepared and not know what she's doing! In that situation, you should be kind and explain if you know or say, "Let's do some research" if not.

If she wouldn't respond in a similar manner or would be mean about it, then that's a sign not to be having sex with her and that y'all need to have a conversation about respect. Still not a failure on your part.

As for maturity…Maturity is such a bullshit line to draw in the sand, Anon.

There's no specific "maturity level" you have to reach to have sex. If you guys try to have sex and suddenly stop communicating, or don't know what you're doing and just get mad at each other, that would be an issue but its literally just a communication issue, there's no actual "maturity" level you need to reach.

If you get hurt somehow, y'all are actually in a great space for that to happen! You have supportive parents, you have a girlfriend who communicates with you! It sounds like y'all will be okay even if you DO get hurt. That's actually great.

Much like fucking up, its possible but it doesn't have to be a nightmare situation or a relationship end. It's okay. People make mistakes, it happens. Sometimes that actually makes it better and/or more memorable.

Just keep communication in mind. If you decide on having sex, talk to your girlfriend about your worries! Let her know you're scared of fucking up. She might be too and that's a good conversation to have!

So is asking her if she has any boundaries or anything specific she does or does not want to try! This is a great chance to improve y'alls communication skills, frankly.

Certain websites [like Scarleteen or even Teen Vogue] have good information if you're trying to do research on sex, just for a starter. Also HUGE congrats on that anniversary. <3

I'm not sure how much this helps but let me know if you have any other questions, Anon. Wishing y'all luck. <333

[malfoyswand]

𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬

pairing: draco malfoy x reader

summary: draco malfoy comforts you about your biggest insecurity.

word count: 1.5k

genre: fluff

warnings: bullying, insecurities, one instance of swearing, a little bit of nudity (but nothing sexual)

author's note: honestly writing this was like free therapy to me. i plan to write and post a part two to this (featuring smut, everybody cheer) in a couple of days too!

➪ masterlist | requests

You couldn't help but let a sigh escape from your lips as you heard the sound of knocking on your door. Truthfully, if you could have it your way, you would be content with not seeing another human being for the rest of the day.

"Can you come back later? I'm trying to sleep." You called out from your bed, pulling your blankets over your head to block out the knocking. Sleep was far from your mind, you only wished to be alone with your sorrow.

The knocking ceased. Just as you thought whoever it was had walked away, you heard the door creak open anyway. It was probably one of your roommates, you hoped they would leave soon enough. 

You felt someone lift up the blankets slightly and lay down next to you in the bed. Turning your head slightly, you saw it was Draco Malfoy. Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him, but the pain in his eyes saddened you further.

"We both know you're not going to sleep yet, (Y/N)." Draco spoke softly, one of his arms wrapping itself around your shoulders. "Now, please tell me what happened out there."

The last thing you wanted to do was talk about that, but you knew your boyfriend deserved some sort of explanation for your sudden behavior. 

The last Saturday of May was always spent with Draco and his group of friends. It was tradition at this point to spend the whole day at the Black Lake, swimming and getting into all sorts of mischief. However, this year was slightly different. Draco Malfoy had finally asked you to be his girlfriend a few months prior.

While it seemed as if everyone else in the group was ecstatic, Pansy Parkinson was not. You had known for a long time that she had developed a crush on Draco, and wasn't too pleased when Draco had turned her down. Ever since, the tension between the girl who used to be your best friend and yourself has been difficult for you to manage. 

Pansy had finally snapped at the Black Lake and told you how she had felt. While you were watching the Slytherin boys play some sort of game near the water, Pansy sat next to you. The conversation started off pleasant, but it quickly turned brutal.

It started off with Pansy complimenting your navy blue bikini, but in the same breath, she mentioned that "it's brave of you to wear something that revealing, considering your marks and all." Her hands touched the stretch marks on your stomach and thighs, giving them a pinch. You felt your breath become trapped in your throat, she knew they were your biggest insecurity. 

Before you could even think, you found yourself running away from the lake, not even noticing Draco was following your footsteps. 

As you told this story to him, you could see him clench his jaw in anger. "That bitch. Does she not realize what she did was cruel? I'm going to have a talk with her tomorrow, and if she continues, let me know. I will fix this, she can’t talk to you like this and get away with it."

"Draco, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to run off like that. Just give me a minute, I'll come back-" Before you could finish the offer, you felt his lips press softly against yours. He pulled away all too soon, resting his forehead on yours. 

"Oh hush, darling. They'll be alright without us, we're staying right here." To further his point, he pulled you into his arms. There was no other place you would rather be trapped. Only then did you realize he was still in his swim trunks, with no shirt. "I need to make sure that you know you are beautiful."

"I-I'm not." It came out as a quiet, defeated whisper as you felt the sobs begin again. Your insecurities were something you never shared with your boyfriend before, you didn't want to burden him any further. 

"Oh.." Draco slightly panicked, not sure exactly what to do. He had never seen you cry before. "No, no. Please don't say that. Pansy couldn't have been more wrong, you look like an angel. Why would you think any different?"

It was hard to speak, between your cries and your voice being muffled from Draco pulling you closer to him. He wiped away each tear that fell, listening intently as you spoke. 

"Because of what she said. I mean, she was right. I have stretch marks all over me, and the bikini only just shows them even more. I don't know what I was thinking! They make me so ugly and it's embarrassing, when no other girl there had them."

One of his hands moved your chin upwards, forcing your eyes to meet his gray ones. "Stop it right there, (Y/N). You are not ugly, and who cares about some marks? You are absolutely perfect in my eyes."

He must have been able to tell that a part of you didn't believe him. You knew he loved you and would never lie to you, he truly did think you were beautiful. But you couldn't bring yourself to think of yourself in that way.

You felt him shift next to you as he sat up, moving the blankets away so he could see you fully. You were still in that cursed bikini, biting your lip as you realized he could now see you in broad daylight. "Draco, what are you doing?"

"Well if you won't believe my words, maybe you'll believe my actions." A small smile spread on his face as his hands gently found themselves roaming down your body, his eyes soaking in every piece of exposed skin he could. You were about to protest to explain that you weren't in the mood for anything his mind might come up with.

"Before you ask, no, I'm not trying to initiate anything else. Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" It was as if he could read your mind. You were terrified that if Draco touched your stomach and felt the marks that had invaded your skin, he would become disgusted. But at the same time, his touch was comforting. It was something you knew could calm you down. 

With a nod, he grinned and lowered himself down until his eyes were level with your stomach. His fingertips gently caressed down until they reached your lower abdomen. "Merlin, you're beautiful. You belong in a museum of art, my love."

His words made you blush bright red, as your hands covered your face to hide this fact. "Hardly." That was all you could manage to choke out between your embarrassment and the sobs that still begged to break free from your chest.

"Please, look at me." You obeyed, placing your hands at your side once more and looking down to look at Draco. "I'm not kidding around, you are stunning. If anything, these marks make you even more so."

You felt his fingertips gently graze upon each stretch mark, your breath hitching as he did so. His lips replaced them in an instant, as he kissed each mark he could find. Eventually, the path of marks led him to pulling down your bikini bottom very slightly to only kiss the ones on your hips. 

You knew he could feel every slight bump on his lips, the thought of it filled you with shame. His kisses were feather-like, it was as if he was afraid that if he kissed your skin too hard, you would break underneath him. But as you looked at him, he didn't seem to mind.

If anything, Draco Malfoy seemed to adore it. He kept his eyes mostly on yours, but occasionally, he would look down at the stretch marks before him. His kisses were slow, as if he was trying to take his time in memorizing every curve of each mark. His hands gently rubbed the curves of your waist, smiling to himself as he felt your body relax at his touch.

Once he was finally done kissing each mark he could find, you couldn't help but smile at the look of achievement on his face. His eyes seemed to have a glimmer to them, as if he had just won a prize.

"Actually, I take back my statement from before. You're not just something to be put in a museum for people to look at, until they get bored and move along. You deserve something much more permanent, like a sculpture to last the ages."

"What?" A look of confusion spread across your face. What was Malfoy going on about, comparing you to pieces that belonged in some sort of art collection?

"What I mean is," a soft laugh came from Draco's lips as he laid down next to you again, his fingers caressing your jawline this time around. "You should be worshiped, darling. Please never repeat the words you said earlier. Those marks are breathtaking, I could spend eternity kissing them.”

You could feel the tears form in the corner of your eyes, but from joy instead of sorrow. Draco was puzzled, worried that his words may have hurt you unintentionally. You learned your head into the crook of his neck, feeling his hands caress your back. 

“I thought you would hate them, you know?” You managed to whisper into his shirt. He responded by shushing you, his fingertips finding their way through your hair.

“I could never, (Y/N). I’ve never seen anything, or anyone, more beautiful.”

[di-n]

Partner in Crime

Pairing: Javier Peña x female reader

Summary: One of the things between you and your dream career as an agent is Javier Peña.

Author's Note: English is not my first language! Excuse me if there any mistake, I hope y'all can understand what I'm saying.

Warnings: flirting, tension, fun, mention of drinks, sex - I might add something else on the way.

Part 01 | Part 02

____________

I am looking at the ceiling and trying to sleep as I’m nervous about tomorrow.

The last pre-tests were okay and I did well, but tomorrow is the final test. That determines my future. Everything I’ve been dreaming about.

Besides, there’s one thing that might get in the way. And his name is Javier Peña.

Peña doesn’t want me to get the job. Of course not. I was the kid who used to laugh at him in kindergarten because he pronounced some words incorrectly. But that wasn’t just me. The whole class used to do it. I was just one more. Now I know that is not an excuse and I was not right to do it, but I was a kid. I’ve learned a lot since then and I’m a totally different person now. I just might got the chance to prove that to him now.

But he seems to never forget those years and life happened. He happens to be one of the judges of my tests to become an agent that will work alongside him.

Of course I wouldn’t want to work with him either, but it’s my only chance. I got away from home and now this is the only opportunity I have to make it on my own.

“It’s okay” I think. “You can make it”.

The pre-tests were a bunch of forms we had to fill, but the final test is personal. Besides physical and mental tests, we have a challenge we need to overcome. Whoever do the right things gets to be Peña’s partner.

So I take a deep breath and try again to fall sleep.

I’m up and making my breakfast as I try to stay calm. I decided to make this anxiety my ally and use it in my favor. That means I get there early, get ready and get shit done.

I take a shower, brush my teeth and put on the comfortable clothes I’ve chosen: a white t-shirt, a legging and a white sporty sneakers. I fix up my short hair, grab a bag with some stuff I might need and leave to the department building it’ll take place.

I am not the first one to get there, but the second. That makes my anxiety come back a little bit. But nothing to worry about, I’m super focused.

As I go inside the department, I am told to wait in a big white room with some chairs where my opponent is waiting too. I give him a smile and sit at the back. As some people arrive, I can see through a glass at the wall people walking, coming and going. At some point, my heart almost stops at the glimpse I saw of him. “How am I letting him trough my emotions like this?” I focus again and try to chill. After some minutes the class has about 10 people and a woman comes in. She looks and talks like a leader.

— May I have your attention. Welcome. I am Emily, co-director of the department and today you will be doing your final tests to start your career as an agent. At least one of you. You will be called as soon as possible. Good luck.

She leaves the room and I start to get nervous again. But I don’t even have time to get nervous because I am the first called.

First is the mental test. All it is: a conversation with a psychologist and answer a few questions about how I normally react at some situations.

Then, it’s the physical. I have to push some weights, do some exercises that requires my reflection and fight with a doll.

“I’m doing great so far” I think with myself.

Now the challenge. The part I was most excited about. I am really good at solving things and that’s why I think I gotta a good chance.

I’m lead to another room, like an auditorium, where there’s a bunch of people. I can see Emily through and, of course, my eyes go directly to the corner where Javier Peña is looking right back at me. Everyone is silent.

At the front of the room there’s this big desk with a map, a pen and a tablet. In the tablet, there’s the description of the task. I need to find the criminal to a crime that was committed 15 years ago. There’s some clues and a history I read to and my brain just gets into work. I take my time but I’m betting the time also counts in this, so I am going as fast as I can.

I take about half an hour to find a suspect and I need to speak how I’ve come to that result. I talk on how I found some clues that were not in the description and how I got at the suspect by elimination in that case. I am secure and that reflects in the way I talk, so I feel thankful. When I’m done, Emily says an Okay and tells me I can leave the room.

As I get outside the adrenaline kicks in and I feel my heart accelerating. I’m thinking “have I done everything I could?” “what if I let something pass by me” “what if I got it wrong” I come back to earth when this other woman is trying to talk to me but I wasn’t listening.

— What?

— I said you can come with me.

She leads me into the first room I was, where there’s nobody now, and tells me I can wait there. I go to the same chair I was in the back and wait for the others to come.

I let the anxiety take over me. I am having these negative thoughts. Specially thinking that Peña will do everything to not make me his partner.

Suddenly we are 10 people again in that room and Emily comes in.

— Well done everybody. As you know, you will know the result in three days. You can leave now and good luck.

“Three fucking days”

I go outside needing some coffee – like I’m not anxious enough – and there’s this cafe at the corner of the department building. I go inside and order my coffee. I grab it and when I turn around there’s Peña behind me.

— Jesus! — I almost yelled.

— It’s Javier — he says like this meeting is no big deal — I know you remember.

— Of course. Peña. — I try to chill — Good to see you.

— Really?

— Yes. Sure. I mean, it’s a familiar face.

He smiles with the corner of his mouth.

The waitress is waiting to get his order.

— Next!

— Go ahead. I need to go anyway. Good to see you again!

I leave desperately and embarrassed. As soon as I get home I started thinking “should I have said something different?” “I should have enjoyed the opportunity to ask him about the test” “I should’ve apologized” “for what?” “shit forget it”

I get into bed and try to convince my brain that we have three days of waiting.

[tht0nesimp]

Expectations

tw: kidnapping, pet play, this is actually half baked, punishments, shal being a dick, infantilism

A/N: this is for @high-bats-writing! Sorry this fic is probably going to be really crappy! (P.S you should totally go read the inspiration for this post < https://www.tumblr.com/high-bats-writing/746620115972440065/happy-easter-hiiii-in-the-headcanons-you-did?source=share

Out of everything you’d been tested with by him, this took the cake, it took the whole fucking bakery.

you’d handled everything he threw at you but this was simply too much, spending years trying to stay away from everything trackable was hard but knowing it was all just in vain because you were nevertheless trapped in his hands again? The knowledge of knowing your efforts weren’t worth anything in the end was devastating.

“Smile!” His cheery attitude becoming a frown when you used your—thankfully free—hands to shield your face from the camera he had in his hands

“It’s fine, I guess, we’ll have plenty of time to get a photo of you in there after all! Won’t we?” His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes when he spoke, encouraging your silence as he continues “you escaped for 2 years? How long do you think I should keep you in there?”

normally you would avoid showing weakness to him, but you couldn’t stop the widening of your eyes “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done what I did” he tilted his head “You don’t have to be sorry, you showed me your true colors!” He chuckled

As he placed a dragging finger down a bar on the cage, you shuddered; quickly finding purchase under one of the plentiful blankets in the cage, one thing you couldn’t complain about was the near suffocating amount of warmth in the normally cold house—well, cold from what you remember from 2 years ago…

Alas, the blankets didn’t protect you from the hand that found your head. Petting your hair reminiscent of petting an animal after it did something silly, something stupid, but something endearing enough to make its owner remain entertained.

And you suppose that may be what he sees you as at the end of the day, a shivering animal used to biting to show affection. Used to having to weakly fight, the only real difference being that your owner in this situation had no intention of saving you

He kept his eyes focused on you, seeing your foot brush against the bowl at the bottom of the cage seeming to remind him “I told myself I’d make you beg, but we can start that tomorrow along with your reeducation. I’ll go fill that up”

he disappeared for a brief moment, before returning with the small bowl full of water, making you reluctantly remember the leaky faucet in the kitchen, wondering he’d ever fixed it like your told him to.

The smile that graced his feature when you saw him crush some form of pill into the clear surface of the water was incriminating alone, but looking at the small off-color dissolving particles in the water was enough to deter away your want to fix the aching thirst in your throat in the moment

Even as you expected some type of negative reaction from your apprehension, he just kept talking. Seemingly excited at getting the chance to act out a fantasy especially after losing you for so long.

his words only proved to spur on a waterfall of unfortunate thoughts, melancholy and upsetting, as they flowed through your mind; wanting to overflow into something more.

“Why are you drugging me?” The words came out weaker than what you might hope, almost dying on your tongue. “Not drugs, just vitamins since I don’t plan on feeding you all too much while you’re down here. Lest it’s like an animal, animals have to work for their food!” He clapped like a child at the zoo “but I don’t want you to be malnourished”

Comfort was never his strong suit, but in the moment it seemed believable enough to allow yourself to indulge in the clear liquid resting in the bowl at the bottom of—dare you say it—your cage

you took a sip of the water, diving your head down as you figured he might not have a great reaction at you trying to pick it up to drink it.

you struggled to drink a sufficient amount, settling for the small sip you were able to get from the bedazzled bowl, almost grateful you hadn’t noticed the “disobedient slut” in pink rhinestones on the front up until you pulled away due to your slight frenzy.

“You’re a natural” he muttered under his breath, getting a quick photo before his phone rang “must be troupe work! Be a good doll and stay right there for me”

you just hoped he wouldn’t be gone too long, after all, 2 years is a long time to spend alone.

Shal chuckled when he heard the slight sigh that left your chapped lips when he left the room, 2 years is a long time to spend alone, and a maddening time to spend with a monster—especially one like him.

[kiefbowl]

Hey sorry I don't know why I'm telling you but just wanted to share, sorry if it's too long

I started working as an intern in this tech company and I'm kinda the only woman in the rnd department. Two weeks passed and it was pretty good but today they sent me and another intern who is a male to the department where they fix broken cards and stuff. The men in there immediately started talking to the intern and asking him to come check out their work cause it would be a great opportunity for him. They showed him the machines and i just tagged along, both me and the guy tried to tell them that i am too an engineering intern but they just ignored. I tried to tell him that i was interested and had similar classes but he didn't even listened or looked at me. I felt kinda weird cause i never really experienced something like this just wanted to share cause I don't know what i was supposed to do.

Sorry you experienced that. That's some old school sexism for sure, and you're bound to run into it some more as you enter the work force. Fortunately, a lot of these old school guys are headed out (which doesn't mean misogyny in the work force is defeated...but you know...we take our wins where we can).

My advice to you: report it. Report it to your direct manager and/or HR. I'm not saying it's a magical fix all in all work places, but if you do nothing, nothing can be done about it. At the very least, it will probably motivate someone to speak to him, like "hey man, you can't obviously treat our female interns differently, and we don't want to hear about this again." Convos like that might make someone salty, but also not want to push their luck a second time. Or not, but again you can only guarantee nothing will happen only if you do nothing.

In the moment, your milage may very, but trying to just point blank in a friendly and professional way ask him to clarify why he won't show you something can really put the pressure on them to admit out loud their sexist beliefs, which they know they shouldn't do. Things like "Did you not hear my question? Are you ignoring me on purpose?" or "I just explained I'm an intern as well, is there a reason you won't demonstrate this to me as well?" or even "I feel like you're treating me differently than him, I hope it's not because I'm a woman" and just leave the unspoken part hang awkwardly in the air for him to puzzle out.

As always, this is easier to imagine and write about than to do in the moment. Don't beat yourself up if someone catches you off guard by being an asshole. Know that YOUR job as intern is to get experience and education, and you do not have to suffer fools that get in your way. If you need to get engineering knowledge out of this guy, be an annoying fly in his ear. Buzz buzz, I'm here for 8 more weeks and if you don't show me how to calibrate this thingy-ma-bob today, I'll just be knocking on your door tomorrow, buzz buzz. Who cares if he walks away thinking women are annoying or whatever, it's your future and you can't change his mind.

[catsafarithewriter]

Day 2: Library/Museum

Welcome to Ghibli Gardens You play as Baron, a librarian/museum curator in the sleepy little village of Ghibli Gardens. Life is predictable and routine, until a new farmer, Haru, moves in. Haru is different, in ways you cannot quite explain. She's spontaneous. Unpredictable. She's a jack of all trades, while everyone else keeps to their own hobbies - a farmer, a miner, a crafter, an adventurer - and somehow, there's something just that little bit more real about her. She's a mystery, and you're as curious as a cat.

It. Is. Done!

This is... something new, but something that I've wanted to try for a long time. Perhaps not this exact story, but I've certainly wanted to try creating a tcr narrative using a "Choose Your Own Adventure" format.

So: this is a text-based interactive story, but is very linear (there's only one ending) with a Stardew Valley meets the Stanley Parable vibe. Before you dive in, some things to note:

I haven't had a chance to troubleshoot it all the way through, but all the connections seem sound. That said, if you hit a real error (not just a scene masquerading as one) let me know, and I'll do my best to figure out the problem. This is my first attempt at sharing a cyoa story, so it'll be a miracle if the only errors are the occasional typo

At certain points, you will likely encounter an "error" page that requests you to "refresh." DO NOT REFRESH the page, but press the text choice for "refresh." Refreshing your browser will likely lose all progress

At certain points you may encounter a variation of "Warning: Starting a new file will override all previous data" - this again is an intended warning. Press continue

Given that this has elements of the Stanley Parable, this is not a fluffy romance piece. There will be (or should be!) a sense of eeriness to it, and the "narrator" will attempt to gaslight Baron. If that will distress you, please skip this game.

I don't know how long this will take to play, and I have no way of finding the word count. For reference, this is the scene graph.

If you do play this and enjoy it, let me know!

I'm retiring to bed now (only just succeeded for today!) so any game-breaking errors will not be fixed until tomorrow. I hope this was worth the wait!

[poprock-gangsta]

𝕾𝖔𝖚𝖗

꧁༒༺ Flame’s only the doctor can fix ༻༒꧂

Summary : Following a guest speaker's appearance in your class, an unusual sensation washes over you. However, it's not a feeling of discomfort; rather, it's as if you've become entranced in a captivating trance.

Kinks : Choking, Degrading, Praise, and Breeding.

Tw: Hypnosis, Drugging, Cursing, Manipulation.

Word Count : 2.6k

Enjoy!

You got out of bed and started on your usual morning routine before leaving for the akademiya. You panic as you try to find your uniform, which you are sure you laid out last night. Finding it, you quickly change and run out the door so as not to waste any more time than necessary.

Once you get there, you look at the time and curse at your tardiness, certain that your teacher will give you a stern talking-to. Your professor gives you the side eye as you walk in and continues to do so as you make your way to your seat. Your professor resumes her lecture as you settle into your seat, and you tune her out. That is, until she mentioned an arriving guest, which immediately piqued your interest.

"Class, we have a visitor all the way from Snezhnaya coming today." You turn to your instructor, wondering what could possibly have compelled someone from Snezhnaya to travel all the way here. A million different possible questions to why the guest was here run through your head. A knock resounded through the classroom, and the air seemed to shift, as if everyone inside knew the person behind the door was someone who commanded respect.

You stare at the tall, pale man with the long, blue hair as he enters the room, trying to get a sense of who he is. Yet the only thing you could point to was that he was truly from Snezhnaya; his outfit clearly demonstrated this, as he was dressed in winter attire even in Sumeru's summer weather.

He seemed to notice that you were looking at him and shot you a glare, which, despite his mask, you could still feel. After a quick exchange, he approaches the podium, where he places his hands on it before casting a glance around the room. Soon after, he started talking, and it was like you were in a trance; you had no idea what he was saying, but you could feel its power.

By the time your consciousness returned, class was over and your unknown visitor had already left. Unable to let go of the inspiring man, you skipped the rest of your lectures and headed outside.

You found him outside the akademiya, talking to what you assumed were his subordinates because they were dressed similarly and were on one knee looking at the ground. "Excuse me, Sir, I was wondering if you would be willing to finish your lesson from just now," you say, clearly showing more excitement than intended. The man looked at you before a long grin spread across his face. "It appears you've taken a liking to my speech," the man says before walking away clearly leading you to follow.

I'm the Dottore, but my enemies call me Doctor," he says, looking back at you for an instant. You then ask , "So what brings you all the way from Snezhnaya," as you stare at the floor. He stops in front of a house and announces, "I've come here for a project of some sort," before opening the door and inviting you inside. "You see, I want to shape Sumeru into a place of wisdom," he says, turning his entire body to you. Coming right up to you and whispers, "Will you help me?" in your ear.

You say, "Of course!" as if in a trance, as if you're unable to say "no" but you don't mind the sensation and may even have come to accept it. Well, I can't wait to see you tomorrow," he says, leading me back with a grin on his face. You flash back a smile and then run off to your own house, where your happy expression lasts the entire trip. When you arrived, you noticed that the cloudiness in your mind began to lift, but you can't say that you don't miss its presence.

You get up and do your usual morning routine, packing your bag you head to the akademiya. Then a throbbing pain in your head serves as a reminder that you need to visit Dottore immediately. Your brain seems to be clouded.

You've made it back to the house where Dottore took you the previous day. You knocked, but there wasn't an answer; you kept knocking, but there still wasn't an response. You open the door and look around, but you didn't see anything until you look down and notice the passageway leading underground on the floor.

With the little courage you had left, you made your way down the seemingly endless tunnel. Once you got to the end, though, the view was spectacular. It was a laboratory with all sorts of strange crystals and machines. Dottore, however, was the most impressive sight of all as he sat at his desk, intent on his work.

You fiddle with your figure and say, "Umm Sir Dottore, I've come back," but he either doesn't hear you or chooses to ignore you. You browse the shelves, dragging your fingers across the glass jars and books, until you spot something interesting. Akasha Terminal Brain Waves, you place your hand on the book's spine in preparation to open it, but the forerunner suddenly says, "Don't touch that," without turning from his work.

Come here, he says in a voice as smooth and soothing as honey. You set the book back down and approach him. Saying "yes," though you felt like a puppy who's been grounded for roughhousing. Then, he says, "There's something I need to tell you," as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in, to were your lips gently graze his mask.

While sitting on his thigh, he says, "The truth is I need a little help." While slowly placing his empty hand on the middle of your back. You were so close to him now that you could feel his breath on your collarbone. You wouldn't lie and say the heat of his breath fixed with the coldness of the air wasn't sending shivers down your spine.

You ask, "How can I help?" without letting your gaze wander. He took his hand off your back and reached into the dresser, where he promptly produced a small pill. He runs his fingers over the pill tenderly and explains, "You see, for me to get a full understanding of this medicine I need a test subject.”

Staring intently into his eyes, you say, "So you want me to be your test subject. His hand now flat in front of you, and the pill in plain view. "Only if you want to," he says. At that precise moment, your previously presented headache suddenly dissipated, and you felt as though your mind was completely clear. For once, it seemed like you could make a decision without fear of repercussions.

"I'll do it," grabbing the pill out of his hand you toss it back without thinking twice about whether you'd choke on it or not. After what seems like an interminable round of "100 questions," Dottore finally pulls out his notebook and gives you a quick check up. You both return to the upper floor once he has recorded your answers to his questions. Looking over you one more time , he orders you to check in with him every day and report any adverse effects immediately.

꧁༒༺ Time Skip ༻༒꧂

You and Dottore have been getting along fondly, with daily checkups and his occasional request for your assistance with some of his experiments when you're both free. You're initial impressions were spot-on; he was an exceptionally bright man, the likes of whom you couldn't help but admire on occasion.

However, while you were at home performing your routine admiration ritual. You, suddenly felt off, as if a fire had been started in your entire body. You took this as one of the side effect of the Dottore pill and sprint out the door to get to his place as soon as possible.

When you got there and opened the door, you found the top floor empty. You then proceed downstairs to meet with Dottore. You felt like your legs were going to give out at any second after seeing him, and the heat that had been infecting you had only intensified. So you muster up what little energy you have left and make your way to one of the stools.

Your attention was riveted on Dottore the entire time you were there, and it seemed as though everything he did set you on fire. You grind against the stool slowly, so as not to distract the harbinger. As you sway your hips up and down you felt your cunt throb, you grind deeper into the stool in an effort to increase the friction between your body and the surface. Now that you've settled into a comfortable rhythm, you turn your head to check on Dottore to make sure he hasn't caught on to your good work. Once in the clear you rest your head on the table in front of you and bite down on your arm, trying to stifle a lustful moans.

As a knot forms in your stomach, you tighten your grip and bite down harder on your arm. You bucked your hips against the stool so hard that your leggings were giving out from under you. But just as you were about to unravel into two, a hand wrapped around your throat and jerked your head back.

“Dottore smirks,and says "So this is what you've been doing ," as he ghostly runs a finger across your throbbing clit. “M’ It's not what it seems like,' ' you mutter under your breath. Then which he replies , "So weren’t trying to fuck youself stupid on my stool," as his lips grazes along your ear. You purred a soft “Please “ as you felt your climax slip slowly away.

“Please what," he growls in your ear . You wiggle your hips and say, "P-please fuck me," hoping to generate some friction. After that, Dottore slowly returns to his seat and sits down, opening his legs. And says in urgent yet seductive command "Come here now,". You stand up and make your way towards him, but once you're in front of him, your gaze begins to wander.

“On your knees” he says while watching every inch of you squirm , once you 're finally in front of him, he unbuckles his belt, freeing his cock from the restraints of his pants. His tip was pink and leaking with precum. “Suck”

You nodded and leaned forward, shyly licking the tip of his cock. You collect all the pecuniary that was dripping out of his cock on the tip of your tongue before you taking the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around it. He groaned and grabbed a fistful of your hair, forcing more of his cock into your wet mouth. You gagged around him and he groaned, hips sputtering. You pleasured him as much as you could, running your tongue against the vein that ran along the underside of his cock. “ M’ Fuck Angle… just l-like that “

He groaned, letting out ragged breaths and occasional grunts. He began thrusting into your mouth after a bit, using you as a pleasure hole. The sound of your lewd noises and gagging only spurred him on as he fucked your face, forcing his cock down your throat with each brutal thrust. He thrusted about seven more times before he halted and held your head down, making you deepthroat him. He held his dick in your throat for a solid ten seconds before he pulled out.

You immediately gasped for air, greedily sucking it into your lungs. “ Fuck… Angle that’s a good girl. Now get up and let your doctor take goood care of your “ You caught your breath before getting up and sitting on his lap. He flipped your dress up and revealed your drenched panties that outlined your cunt.

“You‘ve got such a pretty pussy angle. So beautiful “ he complimented, before leaning down to nibble on your ear. Then he hooked his fingers on the sides of your panties and tugged them down, his breath audibly hitching as he took in the sight of your bare, sopping wet cunt.

“You're such a slut. You're sopping wet and I haven’t even touched you yet” He says, dragging his finger along your pussy lips. He drew tight circles on your clit, you moaned and arched your back sinking deeper into him. “There, there my precious slut, I’m going to take such goood care of you”He assured you. He grabbed his cock and lined it up at your entrance, slapping his tip against it a few times.

Just then he slammed himself inside, not giving you anytime to adjust to his length and girth. You meow, as you gripped on to the sides of the chair. “Your so tight for me angle, f..fuck” He buried himself right in your cervix before he dragged his cock back out, leaving just the tip inside before he slamming back in, going so deep.

M’…S’ so deep doctor..f-

You whined, starting to feel in your tummy. He start to pick up his already animalistic pace, stuffing your cute little cunt full of his thick cock.Roughly squeezing your thighs each time he went balls-deep in your pussy.

“ M’ such a good slut, I’m going to fill you up so good”

He thrusted hard into you causing you to see stars . It was like nothing else was on your mind but getting him to cum deep inside you. Just then he pulled you by the waist and impaled on his fat cock making his balls slap against your ass x7.

He waited until your cunt started spasming and fluttering around him. Your moans echoed throughout the whole room blocking out every outside noise. “Gonna cum for me, huh? Gonna get you to cover my fat cock with your slutty cum? Gonna milk me dry? I bet you want my fat load inside, dirty fucking cum slut."He leaned down and whispered condescendingly into your ear.

You said nothing as your eyes progressively rolled back into your head as he continued to pound your weeping cunt, groaning into your ear and biting at your neck. “Cum for me angle, Go on cum on my cock like the dirty whore you are”

It only took a few more deep thrusts for you to unravel on him, your cunt squeezing him so hard it almost slowed down his pace. You came so much that some of it dripped out and fell onto the floor , but your cream left a pretty ring around the base of his cock

“Fuckkk.. gonna fill this pretty cunt of yours with my cum. Gonna put a fucking baby in here. You want that? Huh? Want me to fuck a baby into you?"

He purred into your ear, and you nodded brainlessly, feeling your eye roll to the back of your head once again.He groaned and gripped onto your hips with a force he hadn't used before. He slammed you on his cock a few more times before shooting a load of warm cum straight into your womb. You felt full like if you took one step you would completely undone.

He didn't pull out, instead, he stayed still and made sure that when he pulled out, very little of his cum would be wasted. You lay there, desperately trying to catch your breath as he gave little, gentle thrusts, pushing his cum further inside of you.

“I would call this experiment a success” he sang, placing one last kiss on your cheek.

After a wild night of festivities, you had finally woken up. However, you conclude that, Dottore was nowhere to be found. You make an effort to stand up but end up stumbling back down. Then, you see there's a letter that's lying on his desk, which reads.

Get back to Snezhnaya, rest up, and I'll send someone to get you as soon as possible.The other table has some clean clothes, if you can make it over there. Hahaha

[royal-ruin]

red, white, and royal blue (rwrb) fic recs (part 4)

other rwrb fic recs here other fic recs here personal favorites are starred, by the way. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

since the first 3 were well-liked, here are a few more of my favs.

*Turning of the Season by indomitablelove (~5k)

‘What’s going on, Philip?’ And then, Philip slumps. His head falls into his hands and his back curls in on itself, his palms cover his face and he pinches at the bridge of his nose. When he looks up at Henry again, he looks like a different man, broken. ‘I have to know,’ he says quietly. Henry's brow furrows. ‘I have to know who it was,’ Philip says. A few weeks after the emails, Henry and Philip talk, and Henry looks forward.

it broke my heart most how philip was henry's enemy in the book, i just wanted some wholesome sibling feels (bea's the absolute best!), so this is a little fix-it, i guess. post-canon btw.

Redemption by MaryaDmitrievnaLikesSundays (~3.5k)

Bea sighed. She looked just like how Philip felt: drained, angry, and exhausted. ”What if you had never been allowed to marry Martha?” She asked. “What if you’d been forced to sneak around, and suddenly, in spite of how hard you worked to keep it quiet, you’re both in a load of trouble for it, and everyone is screaming at you, and she is crying to you and you can’t even comfort her because you’re still not allowed? How do you think you’d feel then?” Philip was silent for a long, long moment. Bea gave him one more glance as she opened the door to the dining room. ”Read the e-mails, Philip. And try to understand.” Or, Philip says some very bad things, does some very bad things, reads the e-mails, and finally, finally, finally understands.

another philip does better fic. warning for homophobia at the beginning, please please please always read the tags.

I can't breathe, if you're not there by softcinnamonroll (~2k)

One moment, Alex was laughing at some joke Henry had made, and then the next there was a loud noise from the TV and the livestream cut out, leaving Alex alone in their dark living room. At first, Alex was sure there had just been a power cut, or some technical difficulties that caused the stream to cut out, but then the messages and BREAKING NEWS notifications started pouring in.  BREAKING NEWS: Explosion at Prince Henry of Wales Charity Event. Casualties Unknown.

read the tags please, it has some things that may be triggering.

Powerless by floatingaway4 (~3k)

“Do you know what I’ve had to put up with in the last twelve hours?”    Henry wants to point out that in that same twelve hours he’s had his body sliced open and an organ removed, but this doesn’t seem to be the time. He also got to sleep through his experience, while Alex was very much awake while dealing with Henry’s family. And Henry got the nice drugs, while Alex looks like he could use a drink.

sex ed in 6 steps by coffeecatsme (~9k)

“Please tell me you used a condom, Fox,” Alex drawls out, leaning against the wall, and Henry chokes on his next breath. “Excuse me?”  “You’re gonna tell me all about this tomorrow, but for the love of God, tell me you used a condom and we won’t have mini Henrys on campus anytime soon.” Or, 5 times Alex thinks Henry's straight and 1 time he finds out the truth.  Or, 5 times Alex jokes about Henry's sex life and 1 time he gets to be a part of it.

college au where they are roommates and alex is oblivious.

Let's Finish What We've Started by andrealyn (~16k)

When Alex fell in love with Henry, his dreams changed into something new -- still bright, still exciting. Eight years on, Alex is running for the Senate and taking those steps to achieve those dreams, but something feels off in his marriage and Alex can't really explain if it's in his head or whether he and Henry actually have a problem. In the midst of a busy campaign, eager to show Texas what he can do, Alex also has to ask himself -- is it all worth it if Henry isn't at his side?

future fic.

If you feel the way I do by everwitch (~2k)

It's apparently true, what they say about soulmates. Once your sixteenth birthday has passed and you find yourself in their presence, close enough for your soulbond to come alive, you'll be able to feel it. You'll simply know. Henry knows, all right. He opens his eyes, his heart beating madly in his chest as he looks across the cafeteria. His gaze is drawn to a presence that he can feel so completely, now, almost like it's become part of himself, like a piece he's been missing. He blinks, slowly, as he meets the wide eyes of another boy. It's Alex Claremont-Diaz. Henry's breath hitches. Fuck. Oh, fuck.

high school soulmate au, it's super cute.

*she's a (rock & roll survivor) by loyaulte_me_lie (~3k)

"Good for you," Stevie Nicks says, "the world needs more rock and roll princesses." // the (un)making of Beatrice Fox Mountchristen Windsor.

BEA NEEDS MORE SCREEN TIME. tell me why this had me sobbing at 1 pm. i adored her before, but this fic made her so heartbreakingly human, i can't help but love her now.

[luveline]

jade may i ask for some tips for the weight loss? i don't even care about weight tbh i'd just like to shrink down my chest a bit, i never felt bad about weight gain until my boobs grew along with it because shirts sit so awkward now and i think loosing a cup or two would fix most of my problems

hello!

I am not an expert and you need to make sure you’re doing what is best for you so if anything I say sounds like it won’t work for you just ignore it!!

I’ve been trying lots of different things to see what sticks, I think the hardest part for me was creating a calorie deficit at first because i wasn’t used to it, and it’s tempting to go low fast but it wasn’t a good idea cos it makes it feel very hard. I just reduced it a little bit every other a week, just 100 calories or so. Your height weight and age and gender determines how big of a deficit you can create while staying healthy so give it a look I’d recommend and then work toward that slowly. Once I got used to it, I started doing intermittent fasting for a few days at a time (so not eating for around 18 hours, and then eating your calories in a window of 6 hours) and that’s when I noticed the best weight loss. I workout three times a week (when I can summon the want). It’s safest to lose 2 ish pounds a week, I think I’ve been losing around 2.5!! It all sounds very banal I’m sorry, the fasting is incredibly incredibly boring, and I do have days where I just eat like I’m not dieting, but the important thing is basically to remember that I can always be dieting again tomorrow rather than missing out on something yummy, cos if I get too strict I won’t want to do it at all. Also! I take supplements cos your body is apparently happier to lose it if you’re properly full up, and I drink a lot of water but I did that before.

This all being said, calorie counting doesn’t work for some people! Someone here before told me that it’s better for you to swap to nutritious foods if you can, I couldn’t make that work cos I’m too picky and only like certain things.

I hope some of this is mildly helpful! I wish I had more illuminating advice than that, typed out I think it sounds like it’s all something everyone’s heard before. I think my biggest thing in my head was overcoming how boring it is to make a calorie deficit cos you can’t have a sweet treat every day, or at least I can’t. Anyways blah blah sorry if this is absolutely useless

[sevendeadlywhispers]

7Seals

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Chapter 14

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

•Previous Chapter: Chapter Thirteen

•Next Chapter: Chapter Fifteen

•Chapter List

•New chapters every Thursday

•Content: Levi Ackerman × OC female. Slow Burn! Canon verse!

•Word Count: 5k (I got carried away)

•Warning: This content may not be suitable for all readers. If you've watched all of AOT then you will understand that the show handles heavy subjects such as abuse, racism, violence, and other heavy subjects. This fanfiction will also have the same heavy themes. Chapters with heavy themes will be marked with (*) at each chapter.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

Her fingers traced the bumpy path of my ribs, each touch turning up the volume of the discomfort. With a casual hum, she locked her gaze on my stomach, methodically pressing into different spots.

"What's the news?" I groaned, the pressure intensifying with every poke.

"You're not gonna like it," she replied, fingers unrelenting.

"When do I ever?" I groaned again, feeling the pain spike. "Ouch, seriously, can't you ease up a bit?"

"Do you always have to whine?" she shot back, her fingers persistently prodding.

"Come on, just spill it," I urged, rolling my eyes.

"You'll be down and out for a while, maybe a month," she dropped the bomb.

"Not this again," I groaned, my gaze shifting to the ceiling.

"Well, maybe if you'd done what you were supposed to all those years ago, we wouldn't be here right now," she huffed, rolling back on her chair.

"Yeah, yeah, just wrap me up," I said, holding my shirt away to give her access. She worked in silence, securing the wraps around my protesting ribs with practiced ease.

"Has anyone asked you to the ball yet?" the doctor tried to spark a conversation.

I chuckled. "No time for that in my schedule."

Silence hung between us.

"How about you? Got a dance partner?" I shot back.

"Nope, and I don't need an invite to have a good time," she replied, a rare smile gracing her face.

The first time I'd witnessed that woman crack a smile. Her smile was infectious, I had to grin in return.

"Good. I know you'll rock it. Give me a heads up if you need some wine; I'll stash a bottle for you." I winked.

She rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Your tricks make me a bit concerned as a doctor."

"Hey now, I didn't down those bottles solo," I defended, throwing my hands up, but a sharp movement made me wheeze in pain.

"Careful," she cautioned, still wrapping my protesting stomach.

"Doctor Lange." The door swung open, and the voice echoed through the room.

"I'm busy!" She yelled, hastily trying to cover me. I quickly pulled my blouse closed, shielding my chest.

Levi's eyes met mine, and his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. He paced away, desperately avoiding eye contact, as if the wall next to him suddenly became the most intriguing thing in the world.

Today was my day off, and seeing Levi here was unexpected, especially after last night's incident. But here he stood, looking like a flustered teenager.

"Will you ever learn to knock?" The doctor huffed, clearly annoyed.

"Even after this, I doubt it," I laughed, finding the whole situation amusing.

Levi, for the first time, seemed genuinely embarrassed, and I couldn't resist enjoying the moment.

"Right. Yeah," he stumbled, avoiding looking at either of us. "I'll be... I'll be out there." He hastily walked out of the room.

"We're done if you wanna go," she said, clearly amused by the recent events.

"I don't know if I wanna leave just yet," I replied with a smirk.

"Well, that's the first," she laughed.

"Yeah, I didn't think my Captain would ever see that part of me, so," I said, shooting her a knowing look.

"You have to face him sooner or later. Use it to your advantage," she suggested.

"Y'know, I'm starting to like you," I laughed, hopping off the bed and adjusting my shirt, buttoning it back up properly.

"See you tomorrow," she smiled as I walked out the door.

Levi leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets, gaze fixed on the ground. There was still a hint of red on his face when I approached him.

"Captain," I greeted him with a playful grin.

"Iris," he muttered, avoiding eye contact. "I didn't see anything, if that's what you're wondering."

"I'd rather pretend this didn't happen," I told him.

"Great. Good," he said, finally meeting my gaze. "Erwin is requesting all of us to meet in his office at noon."

"It's my day off," I protested. "Also, I'm not a captain."

"You were requested," Levi repeated.

"Fine. Whatever. See you then," I said, walking off. He headed into the doctor's office shortly after.

What could he possibly need in there? It's not like he's hurt, and if he was, he wouldn't be caught dead in the doctor's office.

I knew everything about that man's schedule he was supposed to have back-to-back meetings today. When did he find time to weasel his way out of them?

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

"Commander. Sorry I'm late," I spoke out, pushing the heavy mahogany door open, its hinges creaking echoing my arrival into Erwin's office.

"Iris!" Erwin's authoritative yet welcoming voice filled the room. "Right on time."

"Uh, I thought I was late?" I questioned, taking in the dimly lit room, the sunlight struggling through the heavy curtains. The scent of polished wood and the slight rustle of paperwork filled the air.

My eyes danced over the orderly chaos of scouting reports and strategically placed documents. The faint scent of aged wood and ink lingered in the air.

As I took a moment to appreciate the beauty of the room, Erwin motioned toward a plush sofa near the window, bathed in gentle sunlight. The ambiance felt almost reverent, a sanctuary within the bustling headquarters.

"Where is everyone?"

No one else was here. I purposely made myself late to the meeting so I didn't have to attend the whole thing. Did they already finish up? I'm so confused right now. Why am I the only person here?

"They'll be joining us shortly. Please, take a seat and let me pour you some tea," Erwin invited, his movements deliberate and graceful. The rich aroma of brewing tea began to intertwine with the atmosphere.

Seated on the sofa, it's leather cool against my back, I marveled at the view outside. The courtyard was adorned with blooming flowers and the distant hum of soldiers preparing for the day. Erwin's office, a haven within the bustling headquarters, seemed suspended in time.

"How's the injury?" Erwin inquired, the concern in his eyes mirrored in the soothing warmth of the tea he offered.

"I'll be out for a while," I replied, sinking into the luxurious sofa and the fragrant tea creating a momentary escape from the real world.

"Thought so, you took a hard fall last expedition," Erwin remarked, his eyes held concern but something else lurked behind it. It was a knowing look I hadn't seen in a long time.

"Yeah, well, the ground wasn't as soft as it looked," I quipped, smirking as I sipped the tea.

"So how are you holding up?"

"I'm fine. Just bored," I shrugged, glancing around Erwin's office. The atmosphere, with its subtle scent of old books and polished wood, made it one of the few places I could tolerate.

"I've been bored myself. Not much to do when the weather is bad. Titans seem to be quieter when it's snowing, so it makes up," Erwin shared, his eyes focused on the swirling snowflakes outside the window.

"Are you still having night terrors?" Erwin's question hung in the air, breaking the comfortable silence. I felt a twinge of discomfort, knowing this conversation would tread on old wounds.

"No," I replied, my gaze fixated on the swirling patterns in my teacup. The memories of those nightmares were locked away, hidden from prying eyes.

"Really? That's pretty good, then," he continued, his tone measured. I nodded, not willing to delve into the details of a past I'd rather forget.

"Yeah, I guess so," I muttered, avoiding eye contact. The scars from those nightmares had faded, but their ghost lingered. I was a prisoner to my dreams.

"I saw your dad the other day. Have you spoken to him recently?" Erwin's question felt calculated, a deliberate turn in the conversation. Levi must have been in on this too. I wondered how long they'd been scheming to corner me in Erwin's office.

I sighed, realizing I was lured into this situation. Was there even a meeting with the other captains, or was it merely an excuse to draw me into this unexpected tête-à-tête?

"We both know the answer to that one," I replied, reclining further into the plush chair Erwin insisted I occupy.

"Well, it doesn't hurt to try. He did ask me about you and-" Erwin's sentence hung in the air, abruptly cut off as the door swung open, disrupting our conversation.

"Levi," Erwin greeted, his tone betraying a hint of surprise. "You're early."

I turned to find Levi strolling in, his signature stoic expression doing little to mask the annoyance in his eyes. He settled on the couch, shooting a pointed look my way.

"I thought you two would be done by now, knowing how stubborn she is," Levi remarked, the barely concealed irritation directed at me.

"It would have been nice if you knocked," Erwin chastised, attempting to restore some order.

"I see you didn't learn anything from earlier," I teased Levi, savoring the tension emanating from him.

"Shut it," Levi growled, his jaw tense.

"What happened earlier?" Erwin interjected, attempting to piece together the puzzle.

"Yeah, Levi, what happened earlier?" I prodded a mischievous glint in my eyes.

"I thought you said we were going to forget about it," Levi snapped, his frustration bubbling to the surface.

"Yeah, well," I mused, tapping my finger against my chin. "I changed my mind."

"I didn't," Levi retorted.

"What happened earlier?" Hange's sudden entrance startled all of us, breaking the building tension.

"Damn it, Hange!" I yelled out. "You gotta stop sneaking up like that."

"Haha, sorry," they chuckled. "But really, what happened earlier?"

"Nothing," Levi grumbled. "Drop it."

I couldn't help but smirk, reveling in Levi's discomfort. This unexpected turn of events was too good to pass up, and I was determined to make the most of it.

"Well, since everyone's gathered," Erwin declared, his eyes scanning the room. "We've got some event planning on the agenda."

"About time!" Hange exclaimed, their excitement practically bouncing off the walls.

"The Scouts got roped into organizing the Yule ball this year," Erwin explained, casting a glance at both Levi and me. "Now, that's not exactly my forte, so..."

"Not mine either," Levi grumbled, interrupting the commander, something I wished to do.

"For once, Captain Clean Freak and I are on the same page," I added.

"Watch it." Levi threw my way.

I rolled my eyes and watched Erwin continue to speak ignoring our opinions.

"You both will be participating in one way or another," Erwin said addressing us both.

"To make it easier on you guys, Hange is in charge."

What he meant to say was to make it harder on all of us. One thing Hange loved more than Titans, was parties.

"Nobles specifically requested you and Iris-"

Erwin paused, his gaze fixed on me. I could sense the hesitation in his words, the unspoken weight of what was to come. His regret was evident, etched in the lines on his face. It was almost as if a new wrinkle appeared when he said my name.

"Your father appointed you on behalf of the church to plan as well," Erwin continued, laying out the unexpected bombshell.

"Great," I groaned, my frustration evident as I pinched the bridge of my nose. Erwin had managed to turn a simple meeting into a tangled mess, and now the church was thrown into the chaos of unwelcome surprises.

"The church?" Hange echoed my disbelief. "They're in on this too?"

Levi's poker face slipped, his jaw hanging a little. His silver eyes widen showing the blues that lurked under his insomnia.

"Why are you representing the church?" Hange's voice cut through the silence, sharp and incredulous.

"My dad's a pastor."

"What?!" Hange's voice hit an octave usually reserved for Titans.

"How come you never told us?"

"It doesn't matter," I brushed off, trying to sound as disinterested as possible, but inside, I was already bracing for the fallout.

"This explains so much," Hange mused, eyes narrowing in a way that suggested they were re-evaluating every interaction we'd ever had.

"What else are you hiding?"

"Thirty bottles of wine," Erwin chimed in, an edge of mirth to his voice as if he couldn't resist joining the fray.

I shot him a look that could curdle milk, but he just smirked, unfazed. The man could face down a Titan without batting an eye, so what chance did my glare stand?

"I think my father can find someone else who can handle it on their own. I won't be attending," I declared, standing up in what I intended to be a dramatic exit, only to be met with Erwin's commanding tone.

"Sit back down," he said, and as a puppet with its strings pulled, I fell back into the chair, my gaze shifting skyward as if the ceiling held the answers to my current predicament.

Levi leaned in, his voice a low groan that carried a weight of resignation.

"If I have to go, you are going too."

"You have to go because you're humanity's favorite toy right now," I snarled back, letting my frustration bubble to the surface.

"And it looks like you're the church's puppet," Levi retorted, his words sharp, a mirror reflecting my own feelings.

The room was buzzing with the kind of tension you'd expect just before a storm hit. Except, instead of rain, it was Erwin's patience that was about to break. I shot Levi one of those looks that could easily turn wine back into water, but he just stared back, collected as ever. His eyes, though, were practically dancing. He was getting a kick out of this, the jerk.

"Enough." Erwin's voice, authoritative and final, cut through the standoff.

"Hange is in charge of the Yule ball planning. The Garrison and Military Police will also contribute. I expect full cooperation from everyone."

His gaze lingered on me, a clear directive that I was to play nice, especially with Levi—Mr. Grumps, seemed to find human interaction less appealing than a Titan encounter.

"Don't look at me,"

"It's not me who has issues with people."

I gestured towards Levi, ignoring his soft glare.

"Oh, cheer up, guys!"

Hange, ever the optimist, squeezed between us, their arms wrapping around our necks in a death grip disguised as a group hug. Their enthusiasm was unbreakable, their grip even more so.

"Hange," Levi groaned, his discomfort audible, yet he made no move to escape their embrace, a testament to his resignation or perhaps a rare show of patience.

With a swift dismissal from Erwin, I wasted no time. My escape was swift, my pace quickening with each step away from the office and the impending disaster of the Yule ball—a ball that, until moments ago, I had every intention of avoiding.

"Hey brat," Levi called out, his voice trailing me into the corridor. I ignored him, my determination to distance myself from the conversation—and him—as strong as my desire to steer clear of the ball itself.

The irony of my father's involvement gnawed at me. After four years of silence, and now he wants to inject himself into my life. It would be laughable if it wasn't so infuriating. There was no affection in his summons, no fatherly concern. Just demands, as always.

I seethed at the thought of being manipulated, a pawn in a game played by men who hid their insecurities behind badges of strength and independence. My father, Erwin, and even Levi in his own way—they all wanted something from me, yet none dared to ask directly.

I'm tired of being used, tired of the silent expectations and unspoken demands. If they wanted my help, they'd have to ask for it—plainly and without games. Maybe with a bottle of wine or two as well. I'm not doing shit for free around here.

I leaned against the doorframe, one hand resting lightly on the cool wood as I peered into the dimly lit room beyond. The scent of aged paper and ink filled the air, mingling with the faint aroma of fresh lemons and mint that wafted from behind me, the presence looming like a silent shadow.

"What?" I asked, my voice betraying none of the unease that churned in my stomach. I already knew why he was here, trailing me like a ghost haunting my every step.

"I'm checking on you." His voice was low, almost a whisper, but it carried a weight that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

"I'm fine," I insisted, though the words felt hollow even to my ears. I moved to close the door behind me, but Levi stopped me with a well-placed foot and a firm hand, pushing the door open once more as he brushed past me and entered my sanctuary uninvited.

"Don't believe you," he muttered under his breath, his tone clipped and devoid of its usual edge. His eyes scanned the room, taking in every detail with a scrutiny that made me squirm under his gaze.

"I don't know what you expect," I snapped, my frustration bubbling to the surface.

"I was just cornered by you and Erwin, bombarded with news from my dad, so forgive me if I'm not in the mood for visitors."

Levi's response was unexpected, to say the least. Instead of arguing or pushing further, he simply reached past me, his chest brushing against my shoulder as he closed the door behind me with a soft click. His eyes gazed at for a moment but he quickly returned to looking elsewhere.

"Then go relax," he murmured, his breath warm against my ear after he shut the door. His voice was oddly gentle as he gestured towards the room beyond.

"But we still need to talk."

I watched him pace around my office, his movements controlled yet restless as if he were searching for something he couldn't quite find. The sight of him, usually so composed and unflappable, acting so strangely sent a shiver down my spine.

I swallowed hard, my pulse quickening as I watched him, his demeanor a far cry from the stoic Captain I was accustomed to.

“Captain.”

"If we're off duty, it's Levi," he interrupted, his voice tight with tension as he turned to face me, his eyes dark and inscrutable.

I nodded, though the gesture felt more like a surrender than an agreement. "Right," I murmured, my mind racing with unanswered questions.

"Levi," I began, the name feeling foreign and unfamiliar on my tongue after years of calling him Captain. "What's going on?"

But Levi's response was evasive, his gaze flickering away from mine as he spoke.

"Just get yourself together, Iris," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of urgency.

"Then we can talk."

I frowned, a knot of unease forming in the pit of my stomach. Whose plan was it to send Levi to my room after the meeting?  

"Fine. Make yourself at home. Teas in the left cabinets. There's some hidden sugar in my desk," I informed him, motioning toward the makeshift kitchenette before retreating into the sanctuary of my room.

The ache in my ribs throbbed insistently, a relentless reminder of lingering memories I've tried so hard to forget and push away. With careful precision, I shed my clothes, each movement a delicate dance with pain. But comfort awaited, a fleeting respite from the relentless demands of our world.

Clad in baggy sweatpants and an oversized shirt, I embraced the familiar warmth of familiarity, seeking solace amidst the chaos. Yet, even in the quiet of my sanctuary, Levi's muttered commentary permeated the air, a discordant melody to my solitude.

He should have known coming into my room it wasn't going to be a pretty sight. It's not like I have time to clean.

"God, she is so filthy," his words floated through the door, my room will never be up to his unyielding standards. I couldn't help but chuckle, imagining his frustration with the disorder that was my office. But in a world plagued by fates and uncertainty, chaos was the only constant.

Summoning what remained of my waning energy, I corralled my unruly curls into a messy bun, a few stray strands framing my face in a halo of chaos. Stepping back into the lion's den, I found Levi attempting to bring order to the chaos, his efforts both futile and endearing.

"It's dirty," he observed, his voice tinged with a hint of resignation.

"I know,"

Levi's eyebrow quirked in response, his gaze lingering on my form as I brushed past him, his curiosity still getting the best of him while he cleaned. I could feel the heat radiating from his skin mixing with the coolness of my own.

I reached for a bottle of wine nestled within the depths of my desk drawer, the familiar glass cool against my fingertips. Levi's eyes followed my every movement, a silent observer of the dance of shadows in the dimly lit room.

"You stupid brat,"

I merely shrugged, uncorking the wine bottle before sinking back into the plush cushions of the couch. Propping my feet up, I took a long swig straight from the bottle, relishing the fiery warmth that spread through my veins.

Levi's disapproving gaze bore into me, but I met it with a defiant glare of my own.

"You know that's contraband, right?" he chided, his voice laced with thinly veiled frustration.

I rolled my eyes, the corners of my lips quirking up in a mischievous smirk.

"We're off duty, aren't we, Levi?" I retorted, savoring the way his name felt on my tongue.

His response was a begrudging nod, his gaze flickering away from mine as if unable to withstand the intensity of my stare.

"Yeah," he muttered, his voice barely audible above the crackling of the fire.

"Then I don't see an issue," I declared, taking another swig from the bottle and relishing the burn as it traveled down my throat.

Levi's scoff filled the air, but I paid it no mind, focusing instead on the comforting numbness that washed over me with each sip. Meanwhile, Levi busied himself with straightening out my desk, his movements precise and purposeful.

"So, did you come here to clean or?" I asked, my words dripping with sarcasm as I watched him fiddle with quill and ink.

"Someone has to," he grumbled, his attention still fixated on the task at hand.

"Suit yourself," I replied nonchalantly, leaning back against the cushions and cradling the bottle in my arms.

"Your hair," Levi said still cleaning.

"Uh, yeah? What about it?"

"What's wrong with it?"

"Uh, nothing?" I replied, feigning innocence. "Why?"

"Because it looks messier than usual," he remarked, finally tearing his gaze away from the papers strewn across my desk to meet my eyes.

"Thanks," I shot back, my tone laden with sarcasm as I took another swig from the bottle.

As the minutes ticked by and the wine continued to flow, I found myself slipping further into a haze of intoxication. It had been a hell of a day, and from the looks of it, the night promised to be just as tumultuous.

Levi's offer of tea was met with a dismissive shake of my wine bottle, a silent refusal echoing through the room. Undeterred, he proceeded to pour himself a cup, his movements deliberate despite my lack of interest.

"Where's that sugar?" he inquired, his voice betraying a hint of annoyance.

"In the drawer with my wine,"

Levi's lips formed a thin line as he glanced at the drawer, clearly hesitant to delve into my personal belongings. I couldn't help but feel a twinge of satisfaction at his discomfort.

"I don't feel like snooping through your stuff," he muttered, his gaze fixed on the once-cluttered desk.

"You didn't have a problem earlier going through and cleaning all of it," I retorted, the bitterness of my words hanging in the air.

With a frustrated sigh, I rose from the couch, retrieving the sugar and another bottle of wine from the drawer. Placing them on the coffee table, I settled back into the cushions, uncorking the second bottle.

As I took a long swig, I noticed Levi's gaze lingering on me, his expression a mixture of disdain and concern.

"How much are you going to drink?" he asked, his voice tinged with disgust.

"Until your nagging doesn't annoy me," I shot back, my defiance unwavering.

"What? Do you want some?"

Levi shook his head, his features hardening. "Alcohol doesn't do anything to me anyways," he admitted. "Do you drink like this every night?"

I scoffed at his question, taking another sip of wine.

"I don't see how that's any of your business," I replied, the bitterness of the wine masking the bitterness of my words.

"But since you asked, yeah, I do. Got a problem with it? It's not a secret or anything."

In reality, the alcohol served as my sole solace from the relentless nightmares that haunted my nights. It was the one remedy that could momentarily numb the sharp edges of memory. If Levi failed to grasp the depth of its necessity, then he had no right to cast judgment upon me.

"You're an idiot."

Levi's voice was sharp and unforgiving. I merely shrugged off his insult with a casual smirk, taking another swig from my bottle as if his words were nothing more than background noise. The wine danced across my tongue, its familiar burn serving as a welcome distraction from the chaos of the day.

With each sip, the tension in my body began to melt away, replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling that wrapped around me like a blanket. It was a fleeting escape, but at that moment, it was enough. I closed my eyes briefly, allowing myself to sink into the blissful numbness that the alcohol provided.

But even as I basked in the temporary relief, I couldn't shake the nagging awareness that this was just a temporary reprieve. Tomorrow, the pain would return with a vengeance, a harsh reminder of the battles yet to be fought. Yet for now, I pushed those thoughts aside, choosing instead to savor the fleeting moment of respite that the wine offered.

"How come you've never mentioned your family?"

I cocked an eyebrow, taken aback by his sudden curiosity. He always drilled into my head to leave our personal shit away from the survey and now he wants to mix it?

"How come you've never mentioned yours?" I shot back, refusing to let him catch me off guard.

His response was a low, almost approving hum, followed by a curt declaration.

"Don't have one."

I shouldn't have been surprised. In the years I'd known Levi, he'd built walls around himself so impenetrable, that they made the Walls of Maria look like child's play. Yet, in that moment, as he offered a rare glimpse behind those walls, I found myself unexpectedly intrigued.

For the first time in what felt like ages, a flicker of curiosity sparked within me, igniting a desire to peel back the layers of his guarded facade and unearth the truths hidden beneath.

"You," he added abruptly, his gaze fixed on the crackling flames of the fireplace as if retreating into the safety of silence.

His vulnerability hung in the air between us, a reminder of the complexities that lay beneath the surface. In response, I found myself opening up in turn, the words tumbling out before I could stop them.

"My mom's gone," I confessed, the weight of the admission heavy on my tongue. Levi's eyes flickered briefly to mine before returning to the dancing flames.

"My old man's off his rocker, and I've got a little sister who's the epitome of perfection."

The contrast between my sister and me felt like a clash of light and shadow, as if she embodied everything bright and radiant, while I remained cloaked in darkness. Her presence illuminated any room, with her golden locks cascading like sunlight, and her cerulean eyes mimicking the beautiful waters. She was the epitome of perfection, effortlessly graceful and flawlessly composed, while I stood in her shadow with my messy black curls and deep emerald gaze seeming to absorb the light around me.

From a young age, my sister had been the embodiment of everything pristine and flawless. Her every action was met with admiration and praise, her every word uttered with grace and charm. Meanwhile, I struggled to find my place, often overshadowed by her brilliance. While she effortlessly danced through life's challenges, I stumbled in her wake, grappling with my insecurities and doubts.

But despite our differences, I couldn't help but admire her. She was the light to my darkness, the embodiment of everything I wished I could be. And as much as I tried to resent her for it, I couldn't deny the love and admiration I felt for my perfect little sister.

"Shit, Captain, you'd probably smile just by being near her. She's that perfect," I remarked, a hint of tease in my tone.

Levi's gaze shifted, his usually stoic expression softened by a flicker of something I couldn't quite decipher. His raven hair fell carelessly around his face, and for once, his scowl seemed less severe, almost as if he were at peace.

"You've known me long enough to know I'm not easily impressed," he replied, his voice steady but with an underlying warmth that caught me off guard. His eyes met mine, and for a moment, I felt like I wasn't a nuisance to him. It was as if he had shed the weight of the world for just a moment, revealing a side of himself I had never seen before.

But then reality crashed back in, and I quickly diverted my gaze, feeling a flush of embarrassment creeping up my neck. His words startled me. Just how long was I staring at him?

"Iris, I rather stare at eyes that have seen death than fool myself with someone who portrays a false reality."

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[simp41ida]

Hi I love your work! iida is so underappreciated you truly are team carry!

If you have the time, I'd like to request an iida x fem!reader who (tw. sh) used to self harm on her thighs so no one would see, and she's been clean for a year but she found out she was failing a class and went back to old habits and iida walks in on her treating the injuries so they don't get infected and when he asks, she tells him and asks him not to tell anyone, and the reason she didn't ask for help before is that no one helped her when she asked, so eventually she stopped trying. the rest is up to you! if you don't want to do this request I fully understand and it's okay!

i hope I did this request thing right, once again, I love your writing and you're such an amazing person! love you!!

warnings: self harm (fem!pronouns)

notes: as someone who struggles with this too, i’d be more than happy to write this for you <33 love you too!!

⚠️trigger warning under the cut⚠️

one day after class

(wow what a great post starter)

present mic pulled you out into the hallway after class

he wanted to let you know that you're not doing so good in one of your classes

since the only voice he knows is his loud one, he kind of said it a little loud

nobody else heard, but it didn't make you feel very easy the way he said it so loud.

after the four words he said to you, you felt all of your emotions crumble into a little pile of dust right where your feet are supposed to be

and then you still had to do all of the other classes for the day with that feeling inside of your stomach and in the back of your throat.

iida definitely knew something was up because he's observant over the people it wouldn't be weird to watch over like that

like he wouldn't watch bakugou he way he watches over you

it makes him feel funny (trust me he's tried it just to make sure the whole class was safe in his explosive presence)

but this isn't about him.

it's about you <33

when you went back to the dorms for the night, it was the last they saw you until school tomorrow

except for iida because he tried bringing you dinner just because he loves you that much.

you told him you weren't hungry and he didn't want to pressure you into opening the door so he just left you be

why you were in your room for so long, oh, that's a whole different story

when you got into your dorm, you tried to see if there was anything you could do to boost your grade

when you saw that there was no other assignments incomplete, you were upset

so upset for so many reasons

you failed something, you can't fix that said something, and you're just so tired of doing as much as you can do and it's still not good enough

later that night, you relapsed

it's an awful feeling, really

but that awful feeling made everything else go away, if only for a minute

after everything, you knew that you needed to take care of the small, line shaped injuries on your thighs.

the shorts you had on made them easy to access to it would be quick (plan is to just pour some hydrogen peroxide on them, wait for them to bubble and stop bleeding, slap some band-aids on them, and just go)

this would've worked out just fine if you weren't hesitating because you were scared someone would walk in on you.

as soon as you started peeling open the first band-aid package, a familiar face makes himself known by opening the door

his face drops at the whole scene

"please don't say anything to anyone, iida"

as soon as he heard those words, he knew what was going on

there are keywords that hint out how stuff went down.

he also knows there is no other way for you to get that many injuries on the same spot on your thighs in just one day

he may seem oblivious, but he is far from stupid

he'll help you with the rest of the bandaging (only after you say it's okay, of course)

and then he'll ask you to talk to him about it

like "do you want to tell me what happened and why it ended up like this?"

if you told him about last time, it would make sense to him why you would default back to it

if you didn't, he's going to try to understand as much as he can

he refrains from asking questions just in case they're rude

when you tell him that you have asked for help before, he will be so mad that nobody decided to get you the help that you were so bravely willing to get

he lets you know that no matter what time it is, or the day, or the month, or the year, he will stop everything just to help you

he loves you so much more than you know

he won't tell anyone unless you want him to in the instance of getting help

he'll lay with you even if its against the rules because your happiness is worth way more than one scolding from a teacher

then again, how would they know he's in there anyways?

[auckie]

Finished my boys back panel for his new apartment. After it cures more I’m gonna install it, then the drainage layer (which I absolutely don’t need) and then the substrate. I was gonna make the bottom water proof but decided to just go with a protective mat instead. I don’t think I’ll be able to take it apart later but maybe it’ll be like. The last thing I ever move idk. Then Ill put up the UVB, his lamp, I miiiight have a heat mat on the bottom just in case but probably won’t ever use it idk, and finally his giant fucking water dish and ugly bottom hide. Then I’ll see if I can fit some of the roof/side climbing limbs I had planned. Was gonna drill them in but I don’t think the pvc will allow for it. I might try more foam/silicone *and* a bit of drilling, but we’ll see. Then the top leaf coverage (silk plants lol), and finally his giant cork log. I was also planning on putting some tiling over his ugly hide, or just replacing it completely bc he has the wall one plus the log. I also gotta test the weight capacity of the wall log tomorrow after curing. It’s resistant to heavy tugging, and he really doesn’t weigh *that* much but you never know the kind of stress he might put on it. It’s low to the ground so it wouldn’t be catastrophic but it would be difficult to fix. Eventually I would like to go full naturalistic and add plants and bio active substrate. Moving water is beyond my skill capacity/willingness to learn or spend so the static dish will have to do, but I am interested in a mister even tho I know it’s not necessary. He’s been doing well with my humidifier and just some sprays, wet corners, and the dish, but if I do pursue plants it may be crucial. Granted I know scale rot is something people warn about but I figure if I keep it high then I can avoid laden substrate. Plus the drainage layer would help.

I even bought a kitchen scale to weigh him. I was gonna get a temp gun too but that’s kinda absurd since I got like, two different humidity gauges and a temp regulator + thermometer. if I have room I may also try a slight rock border at the bottom of the back panel but I’m not really like. Interested in using foam again, either panel or expanding. Bc it sucks and i despise it. Silicone too honestly, even the aquarium rated stuff which is easier (imo) to get off skin. My dad REALLY wanted to use caulk but I was like hell no. I’ll resort to shelf pins/rivets for support before I try that lol.

I just scrolled up and realized the pic is so dark bc I just turned the overhead light off and didn’t have flash on but I’m so tired and sweaty I don’t care. It’s a cork bark/spanish moss/sphagnum moss back wall but it does just look like a mess of leaves and shit from the pic. I started really clean and then got progressively sloppier as time went on

Here’s a before progress pic SORRY for foot

And here’s snoopert head. He’s getting upgraded from 60 gallon to 120. Tbh if I had the room and money I’d totally have gotten the 240 one

Fuck snoopy