#but stan somehow always has something to pay with

[irfrenchfries]

Sea grunks! This might be my last Forduary thing before this blog goes into hibernation. If it is, see y'all next year unless I head back into my art basement before then!

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL INTERVIEWED FOR THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER MAGAZINE.

THAT EPISODE IS GOING TO SATISFY SOME DRAGON-HUNGRY FANS. RHAENYS CERTAINLY MET HER DEMISE, BUT AEGON'S FATE WAS LEFT A LITTLE MORE VAGUE.

"It’s a seismic event that’s changed the future going forward with these characters."

"Aegon’s fate remains unknown."

"I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone."

"But going into episode five, you are going to see the fallout of Rook’s Rest, which I can’t wait for people to see."

"It’s a massive blow for Team Black."

"The line in the sand has been drawn, and Aemond just crossed that line."

"And there’s no going back. I’m sure there will be retaliation."

WHAT ARE AEMOND'S TRUE MOTIVATIONS IN THIS WAR? IF NOT LOYALTY, WHAT IS IT THAT'S DRIVING HIM?

"I think there are many things that are driving him, but one of them that I loved to play with and explore was this idea that he wants his mum."

"Every time I shared a scene with Olivia Cooke around the council table, every time I looked at Alicent Hightower, I very much imagined Aemond and Alicent sitting on a Dornish beach, far from war, sipping on piña coladas [...]"

"Aemond having become the war hero and managing to make his mum happy, in his eye, so to speak."

"Whether or not that’s Alicent’s version of happiness is another thing."

"But that’s how Aemond sees it. So I think that’s one of his is driving motivations."

"Also, what Alicent does in episode seven of season one, that’s something that Aemond doesn’t forget."

"When they’re all arguing about where Aemond had heard this illegitimate [child of Harwin] Strong [rumor] from, Alicent went back to the idea that this kid had been physically damaged and changed for life."

"She was the only voice that was backing him up in that moment."

WHO DOES AEMOND BELIEVE BELONGS ON THE IRON THRONE?

"You don’t necessarily know what is going on behind Aemond’s eye."

"He’s a very calculative person."

"He’s not just your one-dimensional black cat and mindless sociopath kind of character."

"He is thinking at all times."

"You see that in the first four episodes — in so much of them he operates from the peripheries."

"But, does he even want the throne? (Shrugs)"

HAS HE FALLEN VICTIM TO THE "HEIR AND THE SPARE" RESENTMENT, LIKE DAEMON?

"He feels that Aegon lacks the perseverance to be king."

"Aegon says it himself: He has no wish to rule."

"Whereas Aemond, he’s been studying with the masters."

"He’s been training with the sword, so he very much feels like he would make a worthier king, whether or not that’s what Aemond wants."

DOES DAEMON SEE HIMSELF IN AEMOND?

"That’s a good question."

"I don’t know if I could answer it."

"Maybe it’s one for Matt [Smith, who plays Daemon]"

"But I think a part of Aemond would wish that Daemon saw Aemond in himself."

"There’s so much of his image that lends itself to that idea that Aemond is very much paying homage to a young Daemon Targaryen, with the Targaryen black and the long hair."

"It’s very reminiscent of the rogue prince. Aemond being Daemon’s biggest stan, he would definitely want to live in Daemon’s head rent-free."

DO YOU THINK SEEING AEMOND IN A MORE VULNERABLE LIGHT SOMEHOW MAKES HIM MORE FRIGHTENING? IT'S LIKE THE PERSONAL VENDETTA — WHETHER IT'S AGAINST HIS BROTHER AEGON, RHAENYRA OR ANYONE ELSE — BECOMES A LITTLE SHARPER.

"I very much wanted to portray the image of someone who had manufactured their body into a lethal weapon."

"This kid doesn’t need armor. He doesn’t need to be brandishing a Valyrian steel sword to appear like he could ultimately end those characters’ lives in those moments."

"There’s something powerful in that regard. Me and Geeta Patel, we always talked about the possibility, up to that scene, of maybe Aemond wrapping a blanket around himself as he was leaving, or maybe using his hands to cover himself as he was leaving."

"But we were very-like minded in the respect that this is a character who does not care what you think about him."

"And that carelessness, it’s quite scary."

"Talking about that code coming into place, he cannot be seen as weak at all costs."

"Love in Aemond’s world is seen as a weakness."

"And so he has to put duty above that."

"He puts strength above that."

WOULD AEMOND BE IN THE SAME DANGER THAT HE IS WITHOUT VHAGAR?

"Probably not."

"He recognizes that he’s a young man who possesses a power that no one else has in Vhagar."

"He can do things that no one else can do, and she very much shapes the dynamic of any room that he walks into."

"He doesn’t need to be anything, because her shadow looms so large behind him."

"And so if he’s being threatening, it’s not because he needs to be — it’s because he wants to be."

IS IT WEIRD TO SEE SO MANY FANS CRUSHINT ON YOUR CHARACTER? THEY HAVE BEEN DEBATING WHO IS MORE 'BABYGIRL': DAEMON OR AEMOND.

"I haven’t got social media, so I don’t see it. But one of the results of not having social media is that it produces these beautiful, badass, fun letters from people from all across the globe."

"To read that, I take it all as motivation, whether we’ve had a good reaction or a negative reaction."

"I never take it for granted."

"But is Aemond babygirl? I don’t know."

"It’s a dilemma. What’s the definition of a babygirl?"

I THINK IT'S AN ATTRACTIVE CHARACTER THAT PEOPLE TAKE PITY ON A LITTLE BIT. SENSIBLE, A BIT VULNERABLE. MAYBE THEY THINK HIS HEART'S IN THE RIGHT PLACE.

"Like maybe there is good underneath it all."

"I’ll take the compliment."

WHAT'S TO COME FROM AEMOND THIS SEASON?

"I don’t want to spoil it, but it’s going to be good."

WOULD YOU SWITCH TO TEAM BLACK?

"No, no — I’d want to stay on Team Green."

WHAT'S TO COME FROM EWAN MITCHELL? HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING IN THE PIPELINE THAT YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT?

"Nothing is set in stone yet."

"I’m down to the last few for something that I really want and I’m not going to say what it is because as soon as I do, I won’t get it."

"[I’m up for] any challenge, any character."

"I love horror, horror is definitely a genre I’d love to venture into."

[n3ptun3e]

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ gentle hands ♡

Shisui who touches you oh so gently

• Fluff, Shisui Uchiha x fem!reader

•A/N: one more for you shisui stans☆〜（ゝ。∂）

It is a well known fact that the great shunshin no shisui passed most of his time training since he was a little boy, hands calloused by years of harsh training and multiple battles, muscles ripped with strength, strong legs that earned him his reputation across nations and messy curly hair accompanied by a broad nose and a warm grin. yes, that was Shisui. And although the boy was very dear to all, anyone with eyes could see how the Uchiha all but stuck to your side, arm draped across your shoulders as he leans close to your ear and whispers something that make the both of you laugh, always popping into existence, warm hands on your sides, scaring the shit out of you and anyone within range, ninjas tsking “kids these days”, making you blush and glare at him with a exasperated look on your face, him responding with a sheepish smile, chuckling, making it hard for you to contain your own, him reading you like a book and playfully squeezing your sides, a silent apology, there’s something endearing in the way he looks at you as his thumb slips underneath your shirt and gently rubs your waist, his warmth sending chills down your spine. “come on, don’t be so uptight! you should be used to it by now” he winks at you, letting you go, hands going to the back of his head as he asks you what you’re up to, filling you in in his last mission “really, i wish you’ve seen the way these people used katon in such a intriguing way in their daily lives. it really makes me wonder just how different yet similar we and people all across the world are..” he would ramble on and on, telling you all sort of interesting things he has come across, he just doesn’t want to stop talking to you🥺 asking you about your own missions and your opinion on this new technique he’s working on and what do you think about going to this new restaurant to try the food there? (sigh…you don’t even realize you’re on a date with how natural everything feels around him, it’s almost impossible to stay sad with him around, always trying to make you laugh somehow, giving you that dammed soft look each time he manages to make you laugh, making these stupid butterflies flutter on your stomach until it’s too late and you’re feeling his warm hands cupping your cheeks oh so gently, thumb sweeping across the soft skin, looking down at you with a warm smile on his face. it’s different from his usual smiles, a sort of quiet intimacy and tenderness on his face.)

Besides sometimes acting like a idiot he was born and raised in a well know and strict clan, he does know manners. always opening up the door for you, offering to pay for your meals together, always, always accompanying you home even though he knows you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, he can’t help but worry okay? he just has this protective streak over you, all but following you around like a puppy, offering to carry your groceries, bags, whatever it is. he’s no show off but he’s pretty confident when it comes to his strength so he’ll stick around until you can’t handle it anymore:D

A/N: Mm i don’t know if i like this, i know it’s pretty incomplete but i wanted to give you guys something at least:D sorry for any spelling mistakes, those are just some random thoughts about him, i hope you guys like it~♡ btw i will be opening up asks since i want to write more for him but i have no idea what to actually write haha feel free to send me asks, but i can’t promise i WILL actually write your request since it’s only so my creativity can actually spark and make my head work^_−☆

[shhh-secret-time]

Kyle Broflovski

26 y.o (He/Him)

Soul Synergy: Written on your palm is what your soulmate is thinking

Headcanons:

☆ Going to college on a full scholarship and with his help from his parents

☆ Still works part time at Tweek Bros Coffee, he wants to earn his own way in life

》 This feeds his caffeine addiction

☆ He still plays basketball, it helps him blow off steam

☆ Has a habit of piling to much on his plate

》 Stan usually has to remind him to take time for himself, forcing him to relax

☆ Probably tried to major in law like his dad but at some point he decided he really hated it

☆ Switches to something like English and General Classes for now.

》 I can see him becoming an Author! (I'm projecting)

☆ He tries to visit home often, holidays, birthdays, and on breaks!

☆ Does everything in his power to NOT talk about school. It's the last thing he wants to think about and he doesn't want to make his mother stress

☆ He and Stan live closer to campus, they went halfsies on an apartment together

》 Kyle cooks -> Stan does the dishes

》 Kyle handles paying rent -> Stan handles the handiwork around the house

☆ Will participate in Stan's board game nights if he has the time

☆ Although he loves D&D night and will not miss a session if he can help it. (I'm projecting)

》 I like to think he eventually becomes a DM the more he takes writing classes. I see those two going hand and hand

☆ He started carrying the lighter when Stan picked up smoking and it's just always been in his pocket

☆ Comes in handy when he smokes weed

》 I don't see him as the kind of guy who buys it or owns a bong/bowl/whatever, but I think he'll smoke if offered. Anything to just relax.

☆ Because of that he always carries an inhaler for Stan. He knows his friend hasn't had an asthma attack since they were kids, but just in case

☆ Also brings little bottles of water, enough for the other three. (Even Cartman if he can convince the guy to even look at water.)

☆ I didn't draw it but he's definitely got an EpiPen for sure.

》 He's the mom friend, I don't know what you expected

☆ Carries his glasses in the case, but he can't keep his glasses clean at all

》 Somehow his phone is immaculate, baffling really

☆ Looks at his palm often, so he started wearing gloves again

》 He gets distracted to easily with it

☆ The font on his palm is golden, looks like ink melting when it changes

☆ The closer his soulmate is to him, the quicker the words change.

》 If he thinks about it too much, he panics because what if he starts thinking something stupid and his soulmate laughs?

》 After a while he stops caring and just accepts that it is what it is.

☆ He's very protective of his hands because of it, often keeping his hands in his pockets if he's not wearing his gloves

》 More like he's protective over his soulmates thoughts.

His hand finds the silver necklace around his neck, the pointed star of David digs into his palm. The blunt ends of each point reminds him to breath. He turns it over a few times, doing the same with the lighter in his pocket.

He catches it out of the corner of his eye, the font on his palm gleams and twists. Running down his pale skin like watercolor does a canvas.

'Kyle! I love you!'

Kyle let's out a little breath, it dissolves into a chuckle. That breath takes the tight feeling in his chest with it. The beautiful font leaves room for a smile.

"I love you too." He whispers to the palm, placing a kiss over the words.

(Here's the blank version! ♡ )

[kenlvry]

how the main 4 would react after receiving a flower from you

note; second post!! thought abt this concept while in the shower, hope you enjoy it!

kenny mccormick 

when he first got a flower from you it was during school hours, you saw some pretty flowers by the playground bushes and decided to pick some for your boyfriend

it was daffodils , you picked abt 5 of them for him, you approached him and gave him the flowers. he was stunned at first but was so happy that you gave it to him, he’d show off to his friends and cartman would tease him for it but he didn’t care.

he treasured it so much, even on his way home all he thought was how cute and sweet you were to give him flowers, he would try to repay you somehow tbh, he’d do extra shifts just to gift something in return

when you would come over you could see he kept it in a small vase or if not just have it laying around somewhere safe 

if anyone tries to touch it he would be livid or if his mom tried throwing it away he would throw a full on tantrum, he just wants to remember the first ever gift you gave him <33

stan marsh

he was just chilling in his room probably playing games when all of the sudden sharon called him down bc his gf was here

he was confused as to why you came to his house, he got downstairs and there you were holding some georgia blue flowers in your hands, he asked why you came over and you said you came over to give him the flowers

he was blushing hard ong, the fact you came all the way here just to give him flowers blew his mind, the effort you had made his stomach tickle, you were so adorable, you said the flowers reminded you of him. he was practically the colour red at that point.

he threw up.

he apologized but you knew it wasn’t because he was disgusted, the next day he immediately went out to buy a vase to put the flowers in, he carefully picked out a vase and told everyone in his family to never touch the flowers. he just didn’t want it to be ruined yk?? :))

kyle broflovski

tbhhhhh i don’t know how would he react, i think he would blush so hard and didn’t know to respond to you, you asked him to meet you a the slide, he was waiting and from afar was you looking so beautifully holding pink lily flowers, he was blushing tbh.

you gave it to him and said that it was a present for him, cartman was staring from afar and teased him so bad “ewwwww you two are cringy” “shut up fatass”

he would just stare it during class and stan would have to tell him to focus or else he would be sent to the principals office for not hearing mr garrisons romance rant

like kenny he’d try to pay you back somehow, maybe asking you out to a date or buy you anything.

he would treasure it so much, would also keep it in a vase like stan, every time he would see pink lily flowers he’d blush and smile to himself,, it would always remind him of you <333

eric cartman

at first he cringed sooooo bad, he didn’t want anyone knowing you were giving him flowers so he acted like you were giving him drugs tryna act discreet with it

he’d tease you for it tbh, “don’t even think that i would cherish this... this.. whatever it is, i’d throw it away immediately when i get home,trust.”

you know damn well he wouldn’t but you just laughed

he was actually so excited to go home, he rushed home so fast and searched up what type of flowers you gave him, it was a carnation flower, he has no idea what it was but it was pretty

after that he would ask his mom to take him to the store to buy him a vase to keep it, he would practically force his mom to take him, but he saw you there too! obviously he wouldn’t admit it, “im buying this so if your stupid carnation flowers dies i can keep it in here, it would be wayyy prettier if it was dead” .......... “ i never told you it was a carnation flower though” you almost laughed but he just coughed and walked away

he would keep it on his bedside table so he can look at it everytime he woke up :))

[ubehalayas-blog]

Kyle w fake s/o that has a crush on him (?) 

The only reason Kyle did this was to get his parents off of his back

They were worried and thinks that Kyle might be gay because for the whole high school Kyle never brought at least one girl back to their house (not that they actually cared though)

Although Kyle was not having it, he wasn’t gay (mhm sure) and thought of just asking for ur favor to fake date him until the summer ends so that his parents would get off his back.

It goes a bit like this:

“Hey– Y/n I have a favor to ask you” “can we.. like– be girlfriend and boyfriend but fake? Like you get what I mean, you read books–” “but if you don’t I mean like we fake date like we do couple things but just for public well for my parents because they’ve been on my back ever since the fucking summer started, they’ve been hinting to me that it’s okay if I came out to them as gay” he rambled on and on, explaining the pickle he was on

“Alright– I get it, Kyle”

“Oh yeah, right sorry” 

You two set like typical house rules for it, 1. No one can know, even best friends. 2. No touching allowed unless it’s consented. (of course my man Ky is a gentleman) 3. No falling in love with each other. 

“Does the last one even matter?” 

“I think–” you lied, (it didn’t matter but somehow most books you read had that rule but ended up falling for one another and you like Kyle so– it must be a spell that should be added right?)

You ended up putting a fake relationship in front of everybody, including your friends and parents.  

Stendy probably invited you to a double date or two, Stan suspects that two of you were pretending to be bf and gf but Kyle debunked his suspicions when he kissed you in front of Stan, you were shocked but kissed back. Let’s just say that the car ride back to your house was awkward, something like:

“We’re here”

“A-ah.. thanks, I.. I enjoyed today” you mumbled, taking off your seatbelt.

He just nodded, never letting his eyes away from the wheels because he was too nervous and embarrassed with what he did. 

He probably took you out on a date or two, on those dates he was given some money from his parents that he used to pay for his and your meals. (let’s js say you don’t have to spend any money when ur with him)

Honestly, Gerald and Sheila was your fan, they loved, adored you so much, they were so thankful that you’re Kyle’s girlfriend. They probably laughed around with you as they told stories about how they were thinking was gay and all, Kyle would probably redden from their embarrassing stories and would shout, “MOM! DAD!” when he thinks they’ve told too much lmao.

At school, he waits for you to finish your classes because he drives you to school and back.

Kyle invites you to study dates in his house but mostly because Sheila always wants to see you, (little did you know Kyle liked seeing you too) sometimes that study date ends with you staying in their house– you insist not to but Sheila and Gerald always find a way for you to stay.

You staying at Kyle’s house always ends up with you sleeping on the bed and Kyle on the floor, Kyle probably thinks that it’s too embarrassing to let you sleep on the floor so he volunteers. But when you said that it’s okay for him to sleep next to you he blushes and rambles on about not wanting to make you uncomfortable and stuff, it took you a while of convincing when he finally slept next to you.

The next day was a pain honestly lmao, his arm was wrapped around you, he basically fell off the bed when he realized he hugged you in his sleep. Maybe a bit like:

Kyle grumbled in his sleep, the sun hit his eyes as he slowly opened his eyes. His gaze landed onto your sleeping body and his arm that was wrapped around your waist, his eyes widened as he gasped, backing away from you as he fell down to the floor. The loud crash made you wake up, you rubbed your eyes as you looked over Kyle who was breathless and rattled, "What's wrong..?" you mumbled, "N-nothing.. I just fell off" He stuttered.

lol Idk, I find it funny when things like that happen.

I can't think of anything anymore honestly, my brain is fried and this is just a worthless attempt to do head canons because I seems to can't write some.

[shippergirl-14]

Stan head canons

Hii, these are a little based on the episodes and popular opinions, but I also wanted to share some of my ideas. I guess most of them apply when he is older. ( Also, excuse my bad English in some of the phrases. I’m not sure if it’s right)

Please feel free to share your own head canons ^^

He is the messiest person to ever exist. All his clothes are scattered around his room together with music sheets and occasionally cans from energy drinks.

He loves animals, especially dogs. He sometimes goes to the local animal shelter to play with them. He drags Kyle with him.

He also invites Kyle everyday to walk Sparky with him. He loves walking around at dawn since the streets aren’t that busy.

His sleep schedule is completely messed up. He stays up way too long even on school days to play video games or work on songs.

He either has too much energy for the day or no at all. There is no in between.

Whenever he has to do an assignment, he is always procrastinating until the very last day. Somehow he always managed to finish it ( sometimes with Kyle’s help)

He wouldn’t survive a day without music. His headphones are always turned up to the max, making his friends question how his ears are still okay.

His music taste includes almost everything and he couldn’t tell you what his favorite song is. He also writes his own songs and plays the guitar. He wishes to be in a band again and is trying to convince some of his friends to join.

He somehow is still the quarterback of the football team, but he doesn’t take it really seriously. It’s fun sometimes though. The school forces every student to join a sports club.

His best subjects are music and history. Everything else is pretty average.

He only drinks at parties or with friends, but he often overestimates himself and ends up drunk and Kyle has to get him home.

He has undiagnosed adhd.

He is really good at Super Smash, but sucks at Mario Kart.

Stan loves Kyle’s hair and always tries to talk him out of cutting it. ( he had cried once when Kyle shaved his head as a kid)

He is the cousin of Craig and also has peruvian roots. He can speak Spanish, but is mad that Craig is better at it.

He is bisexual.

He absolutely can’t flirt without making it extremely awkward. His bros are the exception.

He either replies to a message immediately or weeks later. Phone calls aren’t even let through with a few exceptions like his mom, Kyle or Kenny.

Stan has given himself an earring and wanted give himself a piercing too. Kyle stopped him ( fr don’t do that. Mine got infected).

He has the habit of dying his hair blonde whenever something slightly inconvenient happens and regrets it afterwards.

Stan used to hold Kyle’s hand whenever he had to take his insulin shot. Since Kyle once nearly died from his diabetes, he is a bit more cautious about his best friend’s health.

Almost everyone likes him since he is a pretty chill guy.

He rarely eats meat and pays attention to only buying bio products.

[skylarbee]

I just saw your recent post on AM stans hating on Milex stans… I need a catching up please. What about LV and Amanda (?) and Matt too? I rarely ever dive deep into bands and their members, I just like to appreciate their music.

Thank you ♡

! long post incoming and i want to point out that i don't plan on using this blog to discuss any of these people (only maybe very rarely) - i don't like them, i don't think they're good people, i don't want to argue with people who think otherwise, and i usually ignore whatever they're up to - my main focus will always be on milex/miles !

hi anon! <3 i have no idea how much you know already, or if you basically don't know anything related to these three, or any of them. i will say that i have no screenshots concerning the things that i mention, but searching their names up on tumblr and/or scrolling through blogs like @/shit-talk-turner and @/alexstorm will make things more clear.

this whole thing started when louise posted a screenshot yesterday of an am fan saying some dumb shit about her in the comments and bringing up alexa (i still can't believe she posted this). she posted this with some equally stupid words (i don't have the screenshot - you can find it on twitter/tumblr/ig/tiktok/wherever), and matt then reposted her story, jumping to protect her (maybe amanda did too, i don't know). then she managed to screenshot some nice comments and posted those too, saying that 'love always wins' or something similar, and that haters can kiss her ass (this definitely didn't come across as her craving and asking for some compliments; she definitely doesn't need people babying her in order for her to feel good about herself) - which reminded me of something similar that amanda said like a year ago, that they don't pay attention to the haters anyways, of course after posting a long paragraph paying attention to them (makes me laugh just to think about it).

there are so many other hysterical and foolish things she does, like posting pictures of a messy bed (look, i'm fucking alex turner!), selfies with suspicious rings, other pics hinting at alex's presence, calling paparazzis to take pictures of them on the beach, pretending to be jane birkin and alex to be serge gainsbourg, going off about how independent she is while living off of alex's money, somehow managing to make matt's and amanda's marriage about her (with amanda encouraging her), 'accidentally' always doing these when miles has important things going on, etc etc (the fact that her and miles never interacted in real life is also deeply concerning. alex, dear, you should always trust your best friend when they don't like your partner, they always end up being right - especially knowing that miles was always on really good terms with alex's exs). it's clear that she's deeply insecure and adores when the attention is on her and when people are talking about her, and if she goes for a long period without this, she just has to pull something that will get fans talking. she's trying so hard to fit in and be the sexy rockstar girlfriend that she just ends up looking stupid.

if you don't know the real reasons why some people don't like louise, i'm just gonna post some links about her that pretty much sum it all up:

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685972106927882240/can-you-recap-the-problematic-things-frencies?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685366553489866753/everybodys-got-something-to-hide-except-me-and-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685366736118235136/everybodys-got-something-to-hide-except-me-and-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685155230049075200/louise-the-fangirl?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685155226833059841/lyon-july-2018?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/snarcticmonkeys/685095240693170176/deleted-posts?source=share

about amanda... now, if i remember correctly, amanda had a blog dedicated to her music, and people dug up some screenshots in which she replies to someone and uses the n-word, and then another post where she's being racist. these screenshots are somewhere in the depths of my phone and it would be impossible to find them, and regardless, these screenshots are so old that she could've well changed for the better since then.

the problem with her is the fact that she's having arguments in the comments with young fans (asking stuff like did they have brain tumours for breakfast and other ridiculous things...or was that louise?) and posts even more ridiculous stories in response to people bullying louise, and protecting her like she's a toddler who can't take care of herself. the pure arrogance and self-importance with which she communicates her ideas is just mental, she thinks that she's on the top of the world, and encourages louise to act the same way. it's baffling that two 40-ish women think that bullying 14 year olds will achieve anything other than encouraging other 'fans' to act the same way.

the thing about matt is just basically the fact that ever since he's been with amanda, he acts the same way as her. now, i know there's been some issue about some idiots commenting about his daughter, which made him deactivate his ig account, and i have absolutely no words for the people who dared to say anything about that poor, innocent, completely blameless child. but even before this, he turned to the same kind of arrogance as amanda and reposted all her stories concering louise. the way that they need to say over and over again what a good person louise is, how much alex loves her, how great their relationship is, how beautiful and kind and caring she is... makes you really question if she really is indeed all those things (especially if you opened those links i posted). more importantly, what exactly do they plan to achieve arguing with teenage girls? it's so childish, my god, they are only adding fuel to the fire. god knows what they're telling alex and also god knows what he thinks about it all.

there's something that i'm not 100% sure about, but i'm gonna say it in the hopes that someone will see this and will tell me if this is wrong or not: matt cheated on breana when both her parents died (this one is definitely true), and left her with 1 year old amelia, and fucked off to live with another woman (amanda denies being the woman in question, i have no idea). she was solo parenting for a while (breana said all these in a podcast), then matt woke up and decided that he wants something to do with his daughter after all, and ever since then he takes care of her too - good job love, you're still horrible though.

in short, l&a's insanely childish antics dragged matt into the whole thing too. they're constantly throwing hissy fits, in hopes to achieve god knows what, and then they feel proud of themselves for telling teenage girls off. which makes you think, what would happen if am would be 10 times more popular than they are know, and louise would get 10 times the hate she gets now? or even better, what would happen if louise would get the same amount of hate miles gets on the daily? she said in her screenshot that she knows that it's only a minority of the fandom that leave such mean comments - then what's the point of paying attention to it? all this just shows another reason why these two definitely don't like each other - miles has brains, the other one... well, i'm sorry. i tried my best to like them and look past their mistakes,but i just can't do it.

[hcfiles]

He always invested in dubious PR stunts, in the paps' presence in his "private" public appearances so as to have pictures taken that were, later, used in self promo to generate gossip and rumors and to induce you to see him as a person of the media's interest and to pump algorithms.

His team always fed fan pages maintained by them and cheap tabloids with information so they would write articles and more articles about him to make him the subject on social media. A photographer is always part of his team. His management pays illustrators to, once in a while, create an art with his image.

He always spent a lot on self promotion and induced publicity. Each and every two years (or so), he goes on a PR stunt faking a date that, later, leads to nothing, only gossip on social media. Now, he has it. It's probably not the publicity he wanted, but a reaction to boost his image, to increase his bots and algorithms, and to make him the constant subject on the internet.

He always made sure to expose his body as a sex symbol, his staged private life, his fake girlfriends, all for the spotlight. He always wanted to be the subject. Well, now he is. But, all of a sudden, when he has what he always wanted, he's silent, hiding from social media. And, now, stans think all this publicity should go away just by snapping fingers.

Henry Cavill should be loving all that attention, but he obviously isn't, for things didn't go the way he expected. And, of course, now, the image spotted of him changed drastically due to so much unnecessary and excessive exposure, as well as to his PR rep and a new look drastically and quickly arranged by his team, which contrasts to the image he had up to recently. His management is lost and totally messed up with his PR stunt and image.

First, when choosing PR stunts for him to escort with no criteria. Later, by mocking fans' perceptions to make them doubt the obvious, to disguise their huge mistake. It didn't matter what they did. All they managed was to destroy his image and integrity.

From all this shenanigan, one of the things that called my attention was that DG never addressed a single speech about this. The only time she showed to manifest something was when she was accused of being racist and this got her nerve. So, it led me to suppose she passed the ball of this management to some other player and/or was caught by surprise with the strategies adopted in this PR stunt.

They all preferred silence as guilt, instead of just clarifying the misunderstandings. They seemed to, somehow, want the misunderstandings. Natalie, since the beginning of this circus, seemed to mock Hollywood and PR stunts, always "imitating" or copying others' fate or ideas as details of her own PR stunt with Henry, as if this was supposed to be a joke from the start.

And, now, it seems, whatever this was, it's over. His fan pages fed and kept by his team are posting prior, but recent photos and videos of the recent movies, such as Argylle, as saying it wasn't possible for those to have a proper promo, because this shenanigan with Natalie Viscuso prevented it from happening.

Natalie Viscuso, all you managed to gain was to be the representation of evil and bad luck, while thrown under the bus to be exposed to public execration. Nothing good can be attached to your name. But, I suppose the money they paid you to save Henry's ass was worth it. How are you going to spend it?

[hatsunevitu]

i have a REALLY big soft spot for the trope when character A sees good sides in character B even when nobody else does

and it’s so kyman like. really.

and i’m really sorry for this post ‘cause it’s very messy and i’m not good with words but i have so many thoughts about this–

when kyle starts to see some good sides of eric cartman it confuses him so much because he physically can’t believe cartman can have something nice deep inside. like, kyle sees how cartman suddenly cares a lot about cats and can defend them even when he won’t get any profit from that. or how sometimes cartman actually does good things and nobody seems to notice that? like in s10e2 “smug alert” when cartman risks himself to save kyle. i strongly hc that kyle learns about it from butters about a month after this all happened and he’s so shocked by that ‘cause he can’t even explain to himself why cartman would do that. and he’s starting to see more and more remotely positive things about cartman (especially since cartman’s taking his medication) and it surprises him how nobody ever praises him for that. or for anything, actually. it’s like they refuse to admit that cartman can be, well, not a devil himself.

and kyle’s starting to overthink it, so he goes to stan and starts asking him about cartman, about his personality and his good traits, and how nobody notices them, but stan doesn’t even listen. he just laughs and says that anything “good” cartman does he does for his own benefit and that he always has ulterior motives. and kyle feels this unfairness because yes, he agrees, cartman’s an asshole and it’s natural that all his friends hate him but HEY everyone deserves to be judged fairly. and as far as he can see – people don’t even try to give him a second chance. and, moreover, what’s worse – cartman doesn’t give himself second chance either.

i mean, actually, if you think about it a bit, you can notice how cartman never denies that he’s a shitty person. he knows he’s terrible, he knows he’s hated by most of the people he has met, and he knows that nobody expects anything good from him. so he doesn’t expect anything good from himself either. he just goes along with everyone’s judgement like “yep. i do not deserve good treatment because i do terrible things and hurt people all the time”. he can be dramatic and self-defensive sometimes, but actually you can see how he actually doesn’t believe in the second chance for himself.

and it confuses kyle. so much. and he really decides that it’s his new mission to prove cartman he can change and he can deserve second chance and good attitude from others. because what? because kyle just loves two things: saving and helping those in need (especially when it’s cartman) and proving other people wrong.

so, yep, it’s basically an au where as time passes children in south park start avoiding cartman because they’ve had enough of him and they’re really sick of his terrible personality. they don’t purposefully ignore him, just pay much less attention, and cartman (who has started to take medication that helps him with his mental state) tries to fight it at first and somehow accidentally hurts (not physically) stan and some other kids reaaaally bad while this, so eventually he just accepts that he’s not gonna be a part of friends group anymore. and he admits that, well, he saw it coming. his meds make him much calmer and melancholic, so he doesn’t even make a scene. he just sits at his house more and more often, skipping school to avoid his classmates. and while stan and kenny get over losing their close friend, kyle can’t. he grew closer to cartman because he really wants to save him. and – to his own surprise – he doesn’t feel like cartman deserves this loneliness.

and, well, sometimes stan and kyle have this kind of dialogue, when kyle (unsuccessfully) tries to change stan’s opinion on cartman.

stan: Dude, Cartman can’t go, he’ll ruin the whole party! Nobody will come if he’s there!

kyle: Well, it’s just… I know he’s an asshole and we hate him but don’t you think it’s a little too… harsh?

stan: “Harsh”? Kyle, we’re talking about Eric Cartman.

kyle: I know! It’s just… everyone will come, we can’t just ignore him, can we?

stan: We totally can. Remember how many times he spoiled parties just because he got bored?

kyle: Uh… You’re right… Sorry, I was just a bit… confused, I guess.

stan: That’s fine, dude. I’m always here to remind you of how much of a prick he is.

kyle: Huh, thanks…

and he realises that he doesn’t hate cartman as much as he did. because, really, kyle’s first reaction to seeing a person getting so much hatred and contempt is being defensive and trying to protect that person. and he feels, like, really bad for cartman, so he goes to his place to hang out together. and it’s like, well:

kyle: Don’t you feel bad when everyone there are having fun without you?

cartman: Yeah, it kinda sucks but it’s not like I can do something about it.

kyle: So what? You’re just gonna stay at home for months talking to nobody but me and Butters?

cartman: That was my plan, right. It’s not that bad anyway.

kyle: Two days ago you said you can’t spend too much time with me or you “get infected with jewishness”.

cartman: I became immune to it.

kyle: *laughs* Well, it’s not like I mind it too much as well.

cartman: You know, that’s the part that bothers me.

kyle: Huh?

cartman: Why are you here, spending you weekend with me instead of helping Stan with his party?

kyle, shrugging: Not really into parties. Besides, I didn’t expect it but you’re not the worst company, you know.

cartman: Oh, come on.

kyle: What?

cartman: Stop making fake compliments to make me feel better, jew.

kyle: What do you mean “fake”?

cartman: I know you’re only doing this because you don’t want me to be alone.

kyle: What?

cartman: Well, you know, your terrible saviour complex? When you see a pathetic lonely person and you just have to come and save him so you can feel better about yourself and feed your ego?

kyle: What the fuck are you even talking about?? Do you really think I’m here only because I pity you?

cartman: Why else would you be here?

kyle: Oh my god, can’t believe I actually thought we were getting along while you just assumed I was having ulterior motives!

cartman: So you claim you wasn’t and it was all sincere?

kyle, offended: Yes!!

cartman: …Nah. Unconvincing, Kahl, work on your acting skills, would ya?

kyle: You know what? Fuck you. I just… I can’t even…

cartman: Oh, finally, good ol’ Kahl is back here.

kyle, slamming the door on his way out: UGH.

and so kyle leaves and ofc he’s irritated and annoyed and angry, but the thing that bothers him so much is that cartman didn’t seem to actually believe someone would really hang out with him now without having ulterior motives. and it warms kyle’s heart and it starts over again and again – kyle getting closer to cartman and realising how lonely he really is all the time.

and, well. he ends up catching himself defending cartman in front of their classmates and choosing him over them. and then, you know, a typical slowburn fanfic for 100k words :D

so, yeah, i don’t know if someone will actually read it until the end, but, uh, i love this scenario when eric actually becomes a better person just for kyle – because kyle is (surprisingly) the only one to even believe that cartman can be better. and eric appreciates that.

[orionsangel86]

Aa someone who pretty much threw away all their hope as soon as SPN cons started up again after the finale, it is a really crazy position to be in now to have to once again adjust my views and reconsider everything thats been said over the last 2.5 years.

I quit spn fandom and stopped paying attention to cast interviews because frankly:

Jared literally does nothing but spew the absolute worst most rancid takes I have ever heard to the point that I genuinely believe the man is completely deranged and has no idea about the show he filmed for 15 years

Misha has basically given up hope and stopped caring. He started off fighting to ensure people took the confession seriously, and seemed genuinely proud and passionate about ensuring people understood the love confession was legit and Cas knew exactly what he was saying, but over the years it seemed like he was broken down behind the scenes and forced to toe a company line of ambiguity for some unknown suspicious reason. Now he's back to resorting to jokes most of the time.

Jackles though, Jackles has until this point always been a fucking head fuck of a mystery. The "sexy silence" post finale. The sole interactions being with Misha and about the confession. The way he gushed about the confession shortly after it aired before the finale. Then the production company, The Winchesters, the J2 messy public fallout and cringy PR fake reassurance of love for his "brother". The fact that in every con up until this point he has kept any answers about the confession abiguous and deliberately vague - always playing both sides, always trying to keep ALL fans happy whatever they believe about the show. The attempt to explain it as Cas not feeling love the way humans do at one point (much to fandoms horror).

I admit I have joked many times about the "jackles long con" (the conspiracy theory that ever since he found out how spn has ended he has personally been on a war path to fix things and give us a satisfactory ending for Dean and Cas) but I was always in 2 minds about whether it was legit a thing. I believed he wanted to fix Dean's ending somehow yes, but I always figured Cas's story was an afterthought the same way Sam's was. I had no delusions that Jackles would legit want to give closure to the confession and give us reciprocated Destiel - whatever that may look like. It just didn't seem like a thing Jackles would want to do. Save Dean? Yes definitely. But actually make it canon that Dean is bisexual and madly in love with his angelic best friend? Even on his most Destiel friendly days I have never been able to truly believe that.

But this latest response from him at jibcon is veerrrry interesting. To plainly state that he hopes the confession is addressed. That he wants to see that. Its the first time he's ever mentioned it in non vague terms.

Look I have no hope of a fanfiction style sappy romantic destiel reunion scene in the Winchesters or whatever. But for Jensen to genuinely give a clear and thoughtful response about what he thinks that would look like, that he thinks Dean would want to talk about that, and address it, that is certainly progress beyond anything we've had from him before.

One of my friends in our group chat raised the thought of Jackles addressing the confession only to have Dean tell Cas he's sorry, but he doesn't feel the same way. THAT is a terrifying thought, but I gotta ask, would Jackles really do such a thing? He knows exactly how much Destiel means to the fans. He knows how important it is, hell, he was online watching the Nov 5th fallout along with everyone else. If it wasnt important, it wouldn't have trended above the US election. He would alienate the majority of his fanbase. Remember, he has already technically picked a side - something I thought he would never do. The Jared stans and bronlies and Destiel haters all loathe him now. They curse his name as much as Misha's ever since he dared to exclude Sam/Jared from The Winchesters. Jensen isn't an idiot, he knows who his main fanbase is, and that is proved even more obvious by The Winchesters itself, which according to my friends who watch it, is very pro Destiel. My friend described it as what SPN could have been were it not for Jared and Bob Singer - a kinder, friendlier, queerer, and more equal, show. I haven't watched it so I can't comment, but I see so many people say that this among other recent behaviours proves that Jackles is on our side.

I am of course still a bit hesitant to give him so much credit. I'm not gonna stamp him with a big HELLER FRIEND stamp like the one we stamped on Misha years ago. But I am feeling more positive towards him than I have in ages.

Ever since the confession, the official stance on Destiel seems to be to keep it as vague and ambiguous as possible. To never confirm or deny anything especially when it comes to Dean. This has been frustrating, but has kept the door open at least.

By Jackles stating today that he wants the confession addressed and even hinting that it may be in the cards sooner rather than later, tells me that a decision has possibly been made.

The ambiguity has got to go. Dean either reciprocates or he doesn't. Those are the only options available.

If, as it has so often been teased and alluded to, Cas is going to make an appearance in The Winchesters, Jackles would surely need to get Misha on board with his plans. Misha who has been firmly on the side of Destiel since day 1. Would Misha really agree to step back into Cas's shoes only to have his heart broken by a rejection from the man he loves? I don't think he would.

So surely, the only way for the confession to be addressed is to go with the other option. Full reciprocation.

Who else is there to even object anymore? Jared? Fuck that guy? Bob Singer? That old asshole has no power anymore. The CW? Maybe. I dunno what Jackles situation is with the execs and how much power he has over the Winchesters stories. But perhaps he's been able to convince them? Given the state of queer media in 2022 and how rapidly the world has moved on from tolerating CW style queerbait.

Shows like OFMD, Good Omens, The Sandman, IWTV, WWDITS, etc etc... they have proven that queer is popular. It brings in cash. The CW has always been sitting on a goldmine with Destiel, which has never really stopped being popular, even now. They were fools to not go all the way the first time around, and after the queer media boom of 2022 they look like even bigger fools. I still have my own beliefs about the circumstances that prevented a proper destiel ending (mostly to do with the business of the one star the CW were holding onto at that time and his stupid cop propoganda show) but considering all that has happened since then, were the CW given another chance to explore Destiel now, I think they'd be absolute fools not to take it.

Anyway, the point of all my rambling is this: I think I'm back on board. Laying it all out logically, if Jackles is gonna address this, he's gonna do it in the way that will be the most popular, and generate the most publicity, engagement, and ultimately, cash.

In other words: we may see yet ANOTHER "Destiel is canon" day before the decade is over.

[dirtytransmasc]

How do you HC spider as a father how do tonowari Ronal interact with their grandchildren

Do tonowari Jake quratich compete to see who's the best grandpa

Is Ronal like the smothering type grandmother

How tisyra aonung lo'ak Kiri tuk all react to be uncles and aunts interact with their nephews or niece

spider is one of the best dads you could imagine; he's got a damn good blue print. he had tonowari and quaritch (who was a really good dad once he broke out of the RDA's grip), who were arguably the best dads the world had ever seen.

he has the 'throw the kid in the pool and let them learn to swim' type energy, but he jumps in with the, so to speak. he never once abandons his kids, he is with them for every aspect of their life, but he teaches them the skills they need to survive. he's not a helicopter parent, but he is never distant.

his children are his everything, his purpose, so, of course, he shows them off, every achievement is celebrated, no matter how big or small. he teaches them everything they need to know about life, and he makes sure they never, ever, feel like he or his sully siblings felt (sorry jake, but we're acknowledging your flawed parenting). they will never feel alone, never feel the need to be the very best, never feel like a burden or freak, never feel like they aren't good enough. he will fight and die to keep his kids happy, safe, and innocent; and god forbid anyone robs his kids of that, he will make them pay.

he takes pride in raising his kids na'vi, makes sure they are proud of who they are, no matter how many fingers they have or what anyone has to say about them. he makes sure they feel love no matter how he comes about having them (whether they are his biologically or not, cause we stan queer spider in this household, but we also stan spider adopting kids just because he knows what its like)

now ronal and tonowari are the ultimate grandparents, they love taking all the kids for a few days (spider has a big family, its canon in my mind), and they are the best 'second' parents. the kids all look up at them, gather around to hear their stories, to learn from them. ronal loves her grandkids so much, she's always carrying one around, making something knew for them, filling them with food (she gets scary when it comes to feeding her grandbabies). tonowari takes all the little ones out on the ilu's, tells them all of the important stories of their people. they're the sweetest, most stock picture-esque, wholesome grandparents.

then theres jake and quaritch...

lets just say they're fighting dirty in the mud over who's the better grandparent (its quaritch, he has a natural affinity for little kids and they all love him. jake tries too hard)

neytiri is like the wise grandmother they all go to for advice.

lo'ak and ao'nung are the fun uncles; lo'ak is the mighty of Payakan the outcast, son of the great Toruk Makto. Ao'nung is the son of one of the greatest Metkayina chiefs, and their favorite grandpa. if the kids are looking for a good time, they go to either of the boys, who will no doubt spare them any lessons, and give them a wild time (his brothers are about to give spider a fucking heart attack, have neither of them outgrown their frankly horrifyingly dangerous childhood ways. he needs them to be more careful with his children for Eywa's sake).

tsireya is a doting aunt, she loves her little neices and nephews. she's definitely a lot more civil then her brother and mate, normally taking the more academic approach, while remaining fun; she takes them out in to the reef and teaches them the names of all the creature, their place in the world (are they predator or prey, where they stand in the food chain relative to the na'vi, etc.), how to craft, and such.

kiri is somehow like both the boys and tsireya. she's like a wine aunt, some days you get a very cross woman who will spitefully teach you a thing or two (lovingly of course) and the next she's got a sly smile and the words 'you wanna have some fun' coming off her lips.

tuk isn't necessarily close to the kids age by the time they come round, but she isn't far from it either, she's just like a big kid for them to play with.

but all fo the aunts and uncles, take it with great grace, family is everything to the lot of them. they protect those kids with their lives and aid in spider's goal of raising them to be good, prepared, but happy innocent people.

[mystic-insightss]

Oooo hey gravity falls fan!

Do you have any headcanons about any characters? I would love to know!

i am in fact a gravity falls fan!! i don’t have much art for them up on here but i do have a good few drawings on my instagram!

i made a headcanons note maybe a year ago that i never actually shared anywhere, so here’s that :)

stanley pines

- aromantic

- pronouns: he/him

- hates french people (is it a joke? we don’t know)

- has periodic nightmares

- has adhd

- prefers dogs

- atheist. bc of the trauma

- very dangerous driver. in addition to breaking like every law ever he has horrible tunnel vision. very bad at paying attention to his surroundings and often spaces out on the most insignificant objects and ends up almost crashing (or actually crashing)

- like mabel, he used to always lose to stanford in logic based games like checkers and chess. unlike mabel, he always beat stanford at ping pong and feels very happy for himself for it. (part of this is because stanford’s motor skills as a child/teenager were awful.)

stanford pines

- gay asexual

- pronouns: he/him

- has periodic nightmares

- is autistic

- played piano as a child

- struggled with self-harm as a teenager

- forgets basic life functions (e.g. sleeping and eating)

- prefers cats

- ngl ford gives asthma vibes LMAO like my man has horrible lungs

- nervous breakdowns. fiddleford calms him down by taking ford’s wrists in his hands

- agnostic only because the idea of punching god in the face gives him catharsis. still celebrates jewish holidays with stan & the kids

- even worse driver than stan. somehow. every bit of unexpressed anger he has gets expressed when he drives. wants every other car on the road to drop off the face of the earth. unhinged man that then turns around and says “what. i’m not a bad driver.” during the portal years fiddleford demands control of the car during trips.

- yeah he gets bullied as a kid for his fingers but he also gets bullied for EVERY autistic trait/symptom/display he has. it’s true he told me so

fiddleford mcgucket (1982)

- biromantic heterosexual* (see footnote. please.)

- pronouns: any

- likes to grow plants - idea credit to the fic ‘not one to forget’ on ao3! read it if u haven’t, you will have no regrets

- prefers neither dogs nor cats, likes other random animals better (cough. raccoons. cough)

- has to remind stanford to perform his basic life functions

- my mcgucket backupsmore headcanon is that he was shooting for a scholarship (or something similar to what stanford was going for) for a slightly less prestigious school than WCT and then when he showed his project to the scout people and it like blew up and hit one of them in the face and so needless to say they did not accept him

- he hates being called stupid more than anything

- he has anxiety. and yes that’s also pre-and-during-portal-years. the guy is nervous about everything. he nervous stims. chews his nails pulls at his hair shaking hands and legs the whole deal

- he doesn’t really talk about it either. he marinates. he marinates and ford developed a sense for it

- raised christian, really not that into it. has more important things to do

mabel pines

- sexuality: pansexual, or omnisexual. haven’t made up my mind yet but she’s definitely mspec!

- pronouns: she/her

- is she cis or trans?? who knows i can’t decide

- absolutely was into loom bracelets when they were popular

- also silly bandz

- 5’8” when she’s grown up. dipper is 5’7”.

- she collects squishmallows and/or beanie babies. they all have names. they take up half of her bed.

i have like nothing for dipper besides the classic transhet headcanon & him being shorter than mabel 😭 mystery trio phase hit me real hard ok

* don’t use this post for discourse. “bUt ThE SpLiT aTtRaCtIOn mOdEL iS onLy FoR aSpEc PeOpLe” too bad. i’m aroace and i say it’s *fine* who *cares*

[stalkedbytrains]

Assassin's Monthly: In For a Kill

I ran into her, the Queen of the Kill, while I was doing some research for an article on one of the East Coast’s best gun smiths (Assassin’s Monthly 786, “Mon Chérie Fusil”). At first she wasn’t immediately recognizable. Her punk aesthetic had worn a bit, the boots were no longer thigh high beasts of leather but moderately fancy knee high ones. She’d changed out the leather jackets and the ripped jeans for more comfortable clothing, more expensive. Her scars and tattoos were showing their age, but her eyes were as bright and green and attentive as ever.

Her hair, her hair was the same, if a little faded. Still cut the same though, same as it always was.

It was her for sure. The Queen of the Kill.

The woman behind the name was something of a mystery.

Despite never hiding her identity or her name, few people actually know it. And she was one of the few people to ever leave the amateur assassin ranks and make waves on the professional assassin lists.

She cemented her title as the top ranked amateur for several years after she assassinated a sitting US Senator and presidential front runner.

From there the rank amateur would be thrust into the world of professional assassins, trading in her place at #1 for amateur hitmen to #3856 on the world wide Assassin’s Monthly professional ranking list.

By the time the next month rolled around, the Queen of the Kill not only had a name for herself among professionals (and several enemies) but also had her first AM cover (Assassin’s Monthly 402, “Queen of the Kill”) and rose up the ranks by two thousand spots all the way to #1098.

The career of the Queen has been a wild ride. Having achieved and lost #1 status forty-seven separate times over the years, she’s taken the top spot from such noteworthy assassins as One Shot, Stan Weebeldorf, The Bell Tower, and Hunter 12.

Now, thirty-two years later, the Queen has entered semi-retirement. She’s still got the chops for the game, judging by the number of times she easily could have killed me during the initial interview.

Assassin’s Monthly: Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me today.

Queen of the Kill: Yeah. I mean I’ve got to keep myself entertained somehow. Your magazine only comes out once a month so I’ve got some spare time.

AM: If you don’t mind I’d like to talk about how you got started.

QK: If you’re sure. I’m sure it’s not as interesting as everyone makes it out to be.

AM: That’s just it, no one talks about it. I don’t even know if there is anyone alive from your time on the amateur lists. We know almost nothing about you before you killed Senator Clark Mathers.

QK: Well before that it was… chaotic, and fun. I was basically… what’s less than a mercenary?

AM: A thug?

QK: Not quite that low. I mean I had skill at least. I was a freelance gun, I guess? Part mercenary, part bodyguard, part assassin. Sure I killed people, but I also protected people who could pay, I ran guns, gold, drugs. I stole from people. Helped in a couple of prison escapes.

AM: Sounds exciting. How long ago was this?

QK: This was… almost forty years ago. I was just a kid really. Barely sixteen. All I had was a gun in one hand and a tenuous lease on an apartment barely big enough for a single bed. So I did what I could to make the money I needed to survive. It was chaotic and exciting and I don’t really miss those days, the days were I wasn’t entirely sure if I would ever live to see the next day. Or if I had enough money to eat.

AM: We’re all terribly curious about how you wound up assassinating Senator Mathers.

QK: Well it’s a complicated, and long, story that I’m not entirely sure I want to go all in on. I had just started my own little, tiny outfit. I was dating someone pretty seriously at the time. He was a rich kid, nice enough, wanted a taste of danger, and at the time I was the most dangerous one around. We’d gotten a deal to run some guns and when the job was a success we were brought in on a larger job. During the course of that job the Senator betrayed me, I got shot a couple of times and survived. From there it was a series of escalation. We’d try to fuck him over, he’d hire hit squads to kill us. And I finally got the last laugh when I took him out during his presidential rally.

AM: Was it true there was a tank involved at one point?

QK: It wasn’t so much of a tank as it was an armored personnel carrier, but yeah.

AM: What happened to the person you were seeing?

QK: He couldn’t handle the danger and the darkness… (she shrugs) I guess he couldn’t handle the evil.

AM: Are you saying that you think you’re evil?

QK: Me? No. I don’t think I’m much of anything. He thought it was evil. So he walked out before I killed Dickbutt.

AM: So he left you before you assassinated the Senator?

QK: Yup.

AM: Have you heard from him since?

QK: No. I never lied to him about what I was. He couldn’t handle it so he walked away. Although I know he’s dead. I think he was one of the people killed in Stan’s rise.

AM: Stan Weebledorf killed your ex?

QK: Yeah.

AM: How does that make you feel?

QK: (she shrugs again and looks away) It doesn’t really make me feel much of anything. I always liked Stan, he was a decent enough guy.

AM: Would you mind talking about your induction into the professional assassin ranks?

QK: That was a weird day.

AM: Weird how?

QK: Well I’m laying low, as low as I could possibly get. Sure I killed Dickbutt for revenge, but there were plenty of people who were willing to pay to have him killed, so I signed up, killed the guy and took my money and ran. You can’t just kill a Senator and get away with it. I was in this shitty little apartment in Northern Canada when all of a sudden there’s a magazine on my desk. There I am on the cover of Assassin’s Monthly, a magazine I never know existed, and I was paranoid as hell. I still never did figure out how you guys deliver or manage to rank everyone. It’s impressive.

AM: I’m afraid I don’t know how we do it either.

QK: A mystery for another day then. Anyways, I find this magazine and I have to read it, I have to know if I’m being followed or what. Then I find out that I’ve been voted into the professional assassin league or whatever and my rating was like bottom of the barrel. I was a little insulted.

AM: Insulted?

QK: This was the first I’d ever heard about assassins and ranks and whatnot. But to find out I was like #4000 was insulting. I was better than that! I wanted to get back out there and get my number out, but then I remembered I was still wanted. So I cooled my heels and waiting for a bit.

AM: It wasn’t long before you were back and making a name for yourself.

QK: I’m very good at what I do.

AM: Have you had any formal training?

QK: Nope. I was too busy surviving to make it to classes.

AM: No family to help or speak of?

QK: (she’s silent for a long moment) No.

AM: I have a few more questions to ask if you don’t mind.

QK: (she looks over at the French gunsmith still working on a series of rifles) I’ve got some time.

AM: Can we talk about your feud with The Bell Tower?

QK: That lunatic? What do you want to know? I thought your magazine covered most of it already.

AM: We covered it from the outside. I’d like to know what happened from your perspective.

QK: (sighs) Well we were both hired to kill people in the same office. Different people, different hires, same location. Shit happens sometimes. I was prepping my scene. My plan was to find this asshole I was hired to kill and push him off a building. He goes to the roof to smoke a couple of times a day. I’d spent a couple of hours weakening the safety fence to look like normal wear and tear and disabling all the necessary cameras. I was good to go, just had to wait for my guy to take a break when all of a sudden this lunatic comes in a shoots up the place. I find out later it was Bell Tower, like if that isn’t the name of a fucking sociopath. He kills thirteen people, injures dozens of others, fucking shoots me in the chest. Of course I return fire, because I’m a spiteful bitch. That was the last time I ever went on a job without protection. Anyways, turns out Bell Tower killed his hit and mine, and also fucking shot me so I was not happy. Also fuck that guy’s work ethic.

AM: His work ethic?

QK: Look, I’m not one of those sanctimonious assassins that only kills the target and doesn’t harm anyone else. Cause there is no one who is totally innocent. But I don’t just massacre people. That is for dime store nut jobs and racists. I’ve killed a few civilians before, shot through one to kill a man once. But Bell Tower and that crazy bomber friend of his… the fuck was his name?

AM: Olympus?

QK: Yeah, that quack. The two of them figured their lunatic tactics made it harder to tell who was really the target. But it was also carpet bombing a building to kill one guy. It’s a waste, it’s messy, and it’s unnecessary.

AM: So you’re saying that you’ll kill whoever you need to, target or civilian, so long as it is necessary?

QK: Pretty much yeah.

AM: How did the feud end?

QK: Well I’d been stealing his kills for a couple weeks, because the asshole shot me. Your magazine does an article about the fight and the next thing I know that lunatic and his friend blow three floors of a building I’m staked out in trying to get a good sniper position.

AM: How did you survive?

QK: Dumb fucking luck. But I did survive so I set up a fake identity and hired Bell Tower to kill me. When he showed up I killed him.

AM: There’s been a lot of speculation over that fight. What happened?

QK: It wasn’t really a fight. That asshole shot me and blew me up. The second he got close enough for me to shoot him, I shot him until he stopped moving. Then I walked away. It was totally worth all the sanctions your organization levied against me. The whole, no targeting other assassins and planting fake jobs and stuff. I didn’t even know there were rules against that stuff. But I’m still glad I did it.

AM: One last question: how does it feel to be the assassin with the most cover stories?

QK: Really? Are you sure I’m the one with the most covers? I could have sworn that was One Shot.

AM: Well if we put this article here on the cover you will be. One Shot retired last year. For good.

QK: Huh. Interesting. I wasn’t aware I was that famous. Although it is nice to know that two ladies are in the top spots. Too many bald guys in this game.

AM: You know One Shot? You know their gender?

QK: Eh, maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

Chérie: I’m done!

QK: About time Sugary, can we go back to my place for that coffee I promised?

Chérie: Of course.

QK: If you’ll excuse me.

AM: Of course, thank you for your time.

[bloogers-boogers]

I don’t normally go for oneside kyman when it comes from Kyle's side however I'll make this one an exception!

Bare with me, it's style. I know, I know kinda weird coming from me—

But imagine Cartman letting Kyle go just cause he loves him so much and well (soft spot for Stan. I don't think he'd ever let anyone else take Kyle from him that isn't Stan.) it's the most selfless thing he's ever done, and no one even knows it ever happened besides Kenny (figured out) and Butters (was told).

It was difficult and heartbreaking which is why he was the first to move away to New York and start from scratch, find himself and meet new people. He still remained contact with the others (mostly Kenny) and he'd sometimes call Kyle to piss him off with some odd bullshit he'd be doing taunting him how far apart he was to actually go screw his plans now "Ha! Good luck with that, jew, if you're willing to pay for a plane ticket just to wreck my shit go for it. I ain't paying."

And even so, with Kyle's relationship with Stan being as strong as ever there was just something Stan could never be able to do, actually he never needed to debunked it either. He just fucking knew.

If Kyle were to go Sheila mood Stan could never calm him down... no matter what he did, Kyle remained pissed, deranged, a complete bitch. But you know who can? Oddly enough, Cartman.

Cartman knew better than anyone to calm Kyle down which is something Stan sometimes envy but at the same time was grateful for it. There's was always something in Cartman's words that soothe Kyle back to his senses, his hold, a simple hug. Kyle just couldn't help but soften by a affectionate (or vulnerable) Eric Cartman. And Stan was well aware of that, just like he knew he'd never question it (kinda being insecure to somehow make Kyle realize maybe there something else hidden in that part of his heart that cared for Cartman.)

Kyle and Cartman's relationship remains the same throughout the years with their common bickering but nonetheless; friends.

[gwyns]

An e/riel talked about how the fated mates quiz answers on sjm website could be potential plot lines and this was one of the comments they made:

“Emotional manipulation? She who must not be named - you know who - could have some emotional manipulation power. It fits in my opinion, especially with 'for whatever reason'...”

at the end of the post they added in a smaller font - “just want to add that emotional manipulation can be used in a positive way, like Max from Zodiac Academy does on occasion.”

I’m going to assume the she who must not be named is referring to Gwyn. I don’t understand is why e/riel’s harp so much about Gwyn being a side character/not important enough to further the plot, but constantly come up with theories of her being a lightsinger or being evil/having ulterior motives. If Gwyn turns out to be a lightsinger or evil there is no way that won’t take up a big portion of the book, that won’t be ignored and will be important. At least the added emotional could be used in a positive way, I guess. I’m just really tired of people being hateful (and misogynistic) towards Gwyn because of her possibly being Azriel’s mate. Why is it always somehow Gwyn possibly being evil? Why is it always trying to make her the villain? I’m so sick of it. It’s quite disheartening.

i really think stan culture has rotted their brains because in what world does a silly little quiz hold any relevance when it comes to future books? i promise you sjm had little to no say in that and it's just there to give fans something to interact with while we wait. looking for clues in a buzzfeed style quiz is like bringing a clown to a gun fight, it's stupid, wastes everyone's time and the clown is needlessly killed

the clown is e/riels' literary comprehension btw

i rubbed my temples in real time reading the rest of your ask. "for whatever reason" is just a fancy way of sjm saying "hey look! this means something!! pay attention!!!" sometimes i wonder if this is all just some big joke we're not part of because how do so many people miss the point? but then i go out irl and realize that oh! some people are just stupid

it's always the same, isn't it? oh gwyn isn't important, she's an irrelevant maid, side character, her story is over and blah blah... yet they get online to write paragraphs upon paragraphs about how evil she is and how she's going to corrupt az and be an obstacle for e/riel. that sounds like a pretty important character to me but hey! what could i know? i only get my information from the books themselves and not outside sources like our smart queens, the e/riels 👑