#but specifically marketed towards super villains

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 55 Stress Posting

Greetings, dear void. It is time... FOR A HAKURI PoV CHAPTER! And more JP-EN yapping from me than usual because honestly, this chapter was cool, but it was mostly set-up for whatever's going to happen next week. There's not much to muse on without trending towards pure speculation rather fast. Plus I finally got access to the JP version so I've been despairing at how far I have to go to actually learn the damn language...

But hey! Another color page next week! Hokazono-sensei's really suffering from success isn't he? Kagurabachi's getting the top-tier marketing push now that it managed to get over 1M copies in circulation with only 4 volumes out. Maybe we'll start to see the same level of CPs as Akane Banashi soon!

Samura and the Makizumi

Who the hell are you?

Does whatever he's got going on explain the female bearer's super young appearance...? The EN TL leaves it vague here, but JP is pretty specific that his body is that of a child but he isn't one in truth.

Why the adult in a child's body thing at all though? Why mimic Samura like that too? And why are we getting that packaged with a lazy-yet-competent commander archetype? Something about the combination of traits for this character just rubs me the wrong way. The cognitive dissonance worked -I'm interested in him and his situation- but it's unpleasant to deal with. This introduction felt unexpected in a bad way. I bet I'll be a minority on that though so I'll keep my rubbish opinions about him to myself. Maybe.

I have a theory on why Mini Samura is copying our favourite blind fighter guy at least. The official name for the squad in Japanese is 神奈備御庭番-座村親衛隊 [Kamunabi oniwa-ban - Samura shineitai]. The professional EN TL will parse all that much better than I can, but I just want to point out something fun. The last word (親衛隊) means "elite guards"/"bodyguards". Most of the time. It can also mean "groupies" or "ardent fans". So take that and stuff it in your back pocket in case the squad doesn't job here.

Anyway, this chapter is why we met the Makizumi [巻墨] a few weeks ago in chapter 50. Yes, it's the same kanji as "Masumi" that they were introduced as. I'm not sure why since my Japanese is, uh, not great. But it's not an EN translation error. The original JP indicates that Uruha says ますみ [masumi] in Ch. 50 via the Ruby next to the kanji. This time, however, the Ruby over their name in the spread says まきずみ [makizumi]. At least it's not truly a new name I suppose? The meaning -Rolled Ink- stays the same regardless.

At any rate, these guys are definitely all going to live and fight another day. Because named teams full of elite personnel formed for a specific purpose have great survival and success rates in this series. Yup. (Maybe being ninja will make the difference? Somehow???)

Who trained these guys, I wonder... Samura's hella scary for an "assistant master".

Samura getting annoyed that his disciple joined the fight...! It's sweet of him to care and still treat Uruha like an apprentice in some ways. They're both war veterans who have seen and experienced too much, but some dynamics don't change with the passing of time.

I appreciate that the villains and their tactics are well-thought out. Adjusting to fight a blind man with super senses isn't done as well as one would like in many series, sadly. They often get to style all over their enemies because they're underestimated, then are treated like a sighted person with a gimmick thereafter. But the Hishaku ain't about that and have actively planned against him by scrambling his smell and hearing while also sending Mr. Hatshaku and his undetectable trees. Very smart on Hokazono-sensei's part!

This is just so awesome! The spreads of Chihiro and Hiyuki meeting and parting again in ch. 29 are two of my absolute favourites in the series so far, so to see it again (kinda) makes me happy.

Samura cut part of Uruha's topknot here. He played it that close, huh. It's pretty cool that Samura has a wild fighting style that his allies have to adjust around. Normally blind fighters are super precise but Samura's just slicing and dicing anything that's living and ready to kill! But if you're that good then I guess it's worth training a few people to be able to compliment your moveset so they can safely support you.

Samura and Uruha aren't in perfect sync, and Uruha's still willing to take risks and throw himself into danger. But he's more than capable of being an asset in this fight without guaranteeing he'll become a burden later (unlike a certain someone...).

Uh Oh

He's so cute with his big ol' eyes and pensive expression.

Did Chihiro whip out his phone while keeping Hiruhiko pinned to the seat with his foot!? Anyway, this is only the second time in the series where he hasn't appeared in even a single panel. So we get to spend a whole chapter getting exposition via Hakuri!

I'm gonna take some time to yap about him because it's been nearly three weeks since he showed up a lot and I missed him terribly.

Stop, stop, STOP!!

Note: Hakuri's line in the panel before (...俺だけじゃないか" ["I'm the only one."]) doesn't directly match up to Kyora's final line from Ch. 43 (私だけだ... 私だけが全うできなかった ["I'm the only one... who failed to fulfill my duty."]), so it's not a direct reference even if the TL makes it seem like one. Hakuri's sentiment is different- his is "I can't be the only one" vs. Kyora's "I'm actually the only one". There are just a lot of characters who are convicted in their beliefs in this manga!

So much for getting to recover in 30 minutes, I guess.

Really cool that we see the mask "assembling"! It's only been shown intact when he activates the storehouse sorcery up to this point. So it's a neat visual representation of his resolve coming together during the time crunch as well. Hakuri is nothing if not dedicated to hurting and throwing himself into danger for the sake of others. Even after Healer Lady set up a flag for him to become useless or worse if he does so here. Oh, Hakuri...

He's helping Chihiro because he wants to make the world a safer place. Plus his whole thing after Ice Lady is that he'll "never let a life slip through [his] hands again". It's exceptionally noble and heroic of him! But is it worth potentially derailing the plans via brain damage or permanent ability loss?

Hakuri's not gonna die, obviously. I'm also 50/50 on him losing access to his sorcery at all, much less permanently. But something's going to get fucked up here and it'll probably be his fault. Again. He's gotta learn how to value himself the hard way, apparently. All we can do is wait to see what price will be paid for Hakuri's reckless disregard for his own well-being. (I'm not sure how I feel about this, but what if Hakuri gets Healer Lady killed? He could go 2/2 on women who were kind to him dying because of his actions right in front of him. Man that would suck.)

This is looking to be like one of the developments I was hoping for at the end of the Rakuzaichi arc. Hakuri does NOT chill when it comes to saving lives. Being borderline suicidal about this is his way of atoning for his and his family's sins, in my mind. But is it better to risk your life every time, or let people get hurt -possibly die- to keep doing greater good in the long-run? It's a common question raised in super hero comics, and I hope we get to see it explored with Hakuri (and Uruha) here. I'm really interested in what Hokazono-sensei has to say about it and the dissonance it would cause in Hakuri's character.

Arc Soothsaying

This is just a supposition, and I've been wrong so many times that I'm kind of hesitant to put this out there, but here goes. I know I can be as cringey as I like in your ambivalent embrace, kind void.

I think... I think... Hakuri's growth this arc will be specifically learning to value himself enough that he's able to act against his ideals.

Recall how Hakuri was the one to point out that Uruha knew the value of his life in Chapter 48 when he would have charged right in. And now he's with Samura, the guy who fights and kills to preserve himself despite it going against his Buddhist beliefs. Hakuri's constantly pushing himself to the limit, refusing to let other people get hurt for his sake. He won't let himself be the only one risking his life even if there's no strategic value for him to act- even if it would most helpful for everyone if he ran to safety. So I think he's going to have to put saving his own life above anything else later this arc and it's going to be terrible for him.

It would compliment the theme of negative self-image that's been set up with Chihiro too. They're both heroic, though it usually comes across in completely opposite ways (Chihiro's in his villain era right now, for one). And both of them have a lot of work to do when it comes to learning how to love themselves. Hakuri to understand his own "value", Chihiro to understand he's not a monster.

Learning more about the Bearers, Kunishige, and what happened in the Seitei war will almost certainly help Chihiro to realize he really isn't so different from the heroes he idolizes. As for Hakuri, it's hard to say right now. Uruha's going to be important to his growth I'm fairly certain. But we haven't even met all the Bearers yet so I don't want to start thinking in absolutes about who will help who and in what way.

We also have to wait and see what becomes of Hiruhiko after this encounter. He's obviously meant to be a counter to both Hakuri and Chihiro; how that manifests, exactly, is something I'm looking forward to seeing. It'll give more insight on how we can expect them to develop. Chihiro and Hiruhiko are pretty blatant right now with their outlook on what it means to kill and such, and there's set up for Hiruhiko to clash with Hakuri over what it means to be an equal and a friend.

For Chihiro and Hakuri... too early to say. Need to see what happens at Senkutsuji. My instincts are saying a rift of some kind will form between them over killing, equality, and/or their self-sacrificing tendencies but I'm always wrong, so. Just waiting and watching on that for now.

Anyway. Thanks as always, void. Here's hoping our boys don't have to suffer too much in the coming weeks/months. Except Hiruhiko. He can suffer enough for all of them.

[sho-minamimoto]

6 20 23 Sho

1 7 8 23 Shiba!

Sho

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Hmm.... hard to say since Sho is just. completely batshit. I guess the easiest and most obvious answer would be that we're both artists and like to find beauty in aesthetically strange things. But I dont think i have a single thing in common with him personality wise LOL

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I think susukichi and sho have extremely similar temperaments + quirks and if they weren't on opposite sides of The Conflict they'd get along great. I said once before that Susukichi would be the Sho Minamimoto of NEO if sho literally wasn't also already in the game. Their vibes are super similar and they both want to have a fun time.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

This one marketing image from when the anime was airing is the funniest thing in the world to me. like. why the fuck is sho even here. he is in no way buddies with anyone in the hachiko gang (during this specific timeframe anyways) there is literally NO logical reason for him to be posed alongside this specific group of characters here. This image from sho's pov is just him + guy hes actively trying to kill + guy he's stalking only bc he's joined at the hip with the guy he's trying to kill + guy he met twice and beat the shit out of one of those times + 2 people he's never met or interacted with before ever. On a marketing level its clear they just wanted to include him with the main characters simply bc hes a super popular character among fans but it's makes for the most unintentionally hilarious image ever.

Shiba

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

First. he's extremely funny and dresses like a harlot. Second THE LAYERSSSS Shiba's primary motivation is like a puzzle that the narrative gives you all the pieces to and then invites you to solve. Not in that the game doesn't tell you what it is At All, it says as much that he's on a powertrip towards ascension, but it's difficult to wrap your head around Why until you deliberately examine and unravel each of his relationships with the other shinjuku reapers: how they affected him, what their side of the story is, why they're emotionally estranged but still sticking together, etc. I enjoy that you have to take the time to put it together yourself, but also the full picture you get once that puzzle is complete is one that i enjoy immensely. The fact that the core of shiba's plight is rooted in his relationships (or lack thereof) is very true to the spirit of twewy and I greatly appreciate that they applied all this to the game's main villain AND gave him a chance for redemption on top of it. His final scene is one of my favourites in the game and really sticks with me.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

The memes. Shiba's so easy to meme on its great. I have a folder of shiba memes on my desktop whenever i see a new shitpost or edit i Have to save it. im glad he gets clowned on so hard. Shi Basuks Cok lives in my head rent free. I wish shiba's va did small comms like I've seen other voice actors do sometimes bc i would pay him money to hear him voice act that post as Shiba for real. But i can dream

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I know i like Just finished talking abt how much i love the shiba memes but i also dislike how Majority of what i see of shiba is Just the memes and jokes. I wouldn't go as far as say i despise them at all (or i wouldn't have a folder of shiba memes) but I think its disappointing that i hardly see anyone actually take him seriously as a character or give him any consideration for analysis. Or not as much as I'd like to see, anyways (when i do see it it fucks hard though.) I also get the impression sometimes that some people take delight in the memes + clowning on shiba specifically bc they think he's just Not well written or interesting which bums me out a little.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

this clown shiba edit i made a yearish ago. i hold it close to my heart.

[nakuuro1994]

Homer & The Dead-End Gang: The Revenge of Mongu

So essentially for this new episode for my own personal Marvel AU fan-art series “Homer & The Dead-End Gang” called “The Revenge of Mongu” where the story centers around Zelda, Lizzie & The Ghost Boys essentially walking back home from watching the latest “Super Rabbit Movie” as they were busy talking how they haven’t been hanging out with each other that much lately ever since both Lizzie & Zelda had become protégés to both Tony Stark & Dr. Stephen Strange respectively as “Avengers in-training” as the two girls promised their mutual ghostly friends that they’ll be around town more often so that they could all hang out with each other as they’re all being watched from afar by a sinister stranger who already has a dark twisted smug smile on their face.

Later on the following morning, both Lizzie Long & Zelda Chavez soon arrived in school to see that their teacher Ms. Walter is announcing a new student joining their class as she soon introduces the new immigrant student from Russia named Zarya Monguski who soon introduces herself in a rather unusually formal manner (not unlike a Soviet soldier would) before quickly making friends with the rest of the class (except for Lizzie & Zelda oddly enough due to her acting very passive aggressive towards them specifically throughout the whole school day) as Lizzie throughout the day was growing more & more annoyed by Zarya’s strange behavior towards the two of them (even to a point where she almost hulked out on her during their gym class’s own dodgeball match) as Lizzie was going to finally confront Zarya over her strange behavior towards them until the two girls soon see the massive old Hulk villain Mongu rampaging around the Old Market district of their own hometown of Omaha, Nebraska downtown on TV as they soon decided to put their plans with Zarya on hold so they could deal with the situation with Mongu personally.

So as the Dead-End Gang arrived on the scene, they all started to fight Mongu five against one and…well…they get their butts handed to them as Lizzie (While in her own personal Grey She-Hulk form mind you) did some quick thinking on her part as she soon grabs hold of a down cable wire from the fight & then soon electrified Mongu enough for him to flee the scene seemingly wounding him in the process meanwhile the day was saved for now as the Dead-End Gang soon called it a day before limping themselves back home for school tomorrow.

Then on the next day, both Lizzie and Zelda soon realize that Zarya is not in class today as Ms. Walters soon tells them that Zarya had gotten herself infected with Covid and she is self isolating herself for the whole week as Lizzie soon realizes that Zarya never is around whenever Mongu shows up and that Mongu only showed up around the same time Zarya herself arrived in their class as a new student, so she essentially comes to the realization that the two of them might be connected somehow as shortly after school, both Lizzie, Zelda & the ghost kids both try to track down Mongu’s last location from the massive footprints he left behind, only for them to stumble across Zarya seemingly trying to patch up Mongu, which it turns out that Mongu himself was actually just a massive human-shaped mech suit the whole time with Zarya being it’s pilot.

So after the gang soon finds her in a very compromising position, Zarya explains herself that she is the actual daughter of the highly obscure Hulk villain known as Boris Monguski (a.k.a. “Mongu”) as you recently transferred into their school so that she can seek out I’ve pick a fight with Lizzie Long herself as it means of testing her own capabilities as a soldier and the fighter man because of the fact that she’s on her own personal quest of revenge against all hulks for the very tragic way that her own father died during his last fight with the original Hulk/Dr. Bruce Banner some years ago as she blames the Hulk for her father’s death as she wants to get revenge on them sooner rather than later, but she also decided to test her might and metal against a so-called “lesser hulk” like Lizzie as a trial run to see if she can actually defeat the Jade Giant herself.

So a massive fight soon breaks out between the dead and gang and Zarya as they fight all across the various state park that they soon find themselves in as apparently the fight soon escalates with Zarya herself, catching herself off guard and tripping over herself after Lizzie dodging one of her punches with her giant mech suit as you soon find yourself dangling and holding onto a precarious ledge, overlooking a massive valley as she’s hanging in for dear life with her mech suit as she’s literally cliff hanging over a massive cliff with Lizzie herself, offering her hand to help Zarya up in order to save her life with Zarya herself being strangely confused about the whole situation as she wondered out loud why would someone who she was trying to kill a few minutes ago is offering to help her out as Lizzie explains that she is a avenger in-training and a hero and that she refuses to let her die as she soon tells Zarya that her own quest for revenge is ultimately gonna be pointless & that sorta thing never ends well for anyone as Zarya soon decides to take her hand and steps out of her giant mech suit in order to save herself as the giant Mongu Suit soon drops & crashes into the ground below.

So then, finally, Zarya and the rest of the dead-end gang soon make amends with each other, and soon decide to become friends after the whole ordeal between them as a soon pretty much let bygones be bygones, and that Zarya herself be named the honor member of the dead-end gang from that point onwards as they all soon meet up with Zarya’s mother as well after a long day as Zarya’s Mom soon offers them a rater relaxing ride back home. The End.

[tawked]

Things I did not mention:

wanting to fuck Harley Quinn lmao.

that her costume looks like a harlequin costume? Sorry, I've never heard anybody make this defense of the old outfit so it just feels super out of nowhere to me lol.

her relationship with Joker.

the N52.

liking the N52 (more offensive than assuming I'm straight actually).

Harley struggling between her love of Ivy or her trauma induced attachment to the Joker.

that I want the same stories.

DC Rebirth.

What I have a problem with:

DC has a real tendency to take morally complex femme fatales that become popular with a cishet male audience for whatever reason and attempt to make them into far more marketable concepts or characters by smoothing them out and forcing them into more comfortable, digestible roles.

They've been doing this in Batman and Batman spin-off stories specifically since the lame Catwoman amnesia cop-out in the 1950s, which was meant to make Batman's relationship with Catwoman safe and not morally compromising to the audience; he's not banging a thief, because she doesn't know she's a thief.

The most iconic version of this no one remembers is probably Nocturna.

This is kind of happening with Harley Quinn and Ivy. Ivy went from this weird mind control villain who's very much violating peoples' consent n whatnot, to basically Daria for a while.

Harley went from being the kind of person who would induce a psychotic episode in Catwoman and while she's vulnerable convince her to kill Jim Gordon, to uh... Well, it's certainly not that, and my problem with the idea that this is character growth is that it's kind of not. She was doing shit like that totally independently of The Joker, then she just kinda didn't do that any more and started hitting people with a hammer. Which is fine! But it feels like a cynical marketing redirect, y'know?

Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy stories can still be good. I think they're fine. The Harley Quinn animated show is fine. Someone can like media while disliking a trope that media employs. That they're evolving toward this new angle is not a bad thing.

However, that this specific trajectory happens so consistently with villainesses in the superhero genre feels like an editorial / marketing move rather than someone's creative idea for a direction to take these characters, and that is something I am cynical about.

It's the same thing with attempting to make Wonder Woman a "family" book ala the Batfamily, the Arrowfamily, the Superfamily, etc.; families are really selling right now, so let's family up Diana even though it doesn't really fit her or her stories, try out the marketability pipeline and see if it sticks.

Anyway, if I can be deadass with you chief, when people make big defensive strawman posts like this, they don't really, I don't know, defend the character they're aiming to defend? They kind of just make the person reading them associate the character with aggressive fans, and that has simply never made anybody want to engage with media, ever. No one listens to Taylor's latest because they saw a fan calling someone a fuckwit for saying she only writes break up songs.

Worst trope in superhero comics:

A bad bitch got too popular so now we need to make her an antihero and slowly sand off her rough edges until, after a few years of "development," she's just a lame uncomplicated and highly marketable C-list superhero.

It happened to Catwoman, it happened to Harley Quinn, it's happening to Talia al Ghul and Poison Ivy, and it'll happen to yooou

Shit the Catwoman attempt was especially egregious, to the point where they had to be like "fuck it idk Zatanna mindwiped her into a different character shut up"

[thepenultimateword]

Regarding your latest post about the VillainxSupervillain story snippet thing... uh... okay so... I am now super invested... and want to make fanart for this.... and man this needs to be a book cuz I have never been the type for love stories especially from villains but this one caught my attention and I am in love with it.... but I just wanted to say that your writing is super amazing, and are there any good villainxvillain story reccomendations or anything??? cuz I seriously need to see more of this type of thing. ANYWHO IT WAS AWESOME AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!

Oh my gosh thank you!! I’m so glad you enjoyed! If you ever do fanart of them I would love to see it!! I'll probably do a continuation after I've whittled down some of my asks first.

Also, yeeees join the side of villain x villain shippers mwahaha 😆 Hmmm as for suggestions, I can’t really think of any villain x villain stuff I’ve seen in any actual books or tv shows, I think that’s why I gravitate toward that dynamic so much, because it’s not often used. As for on tumblr, I have a whole lot of other villain x villain fics in my master list if you haven’t read those yet. Also @some-messed-up-writing-for-you does a lot of really fun villain x villain prompts and fics. (I get a lot of inspiration from them)

Hmmm…as I look at the villain x villain tag page now, it looks like smuwfy and I are the ones pretty much running the market 😂😂 I know there are more out there, I'm just blanking. I can recommend a couple favorite specific stories off the top of my head though!

@selene-stories wrote this lovely supervillain x villain snippet.

@yourheartonfire wrote this scientist x villain piece that I adored. It’s kinda civilians x villain, but I count it since the scientist is involved in villainous projects.

If anyone else has any good suggestions, please put them in comments! 😁

[descendantofthesparrow]

old request that has been sitting in my files for.....idek - Harry Hook x Sparrow! Reader - oneshot - My Bonnie Lass

Ok so I have a request Harry’s betrothed to the reader since birth so like there close and she’s the daughter of jack sparrow and he’s like super shy and quiet and he chooses to pretends she doesn’t exist but then he sees some picking on her but people don’t know their like a thing I guess so he gets really angry and they ask him why he’s angry and it slips out

this oneshot has been sitting in my files since before i went exclusively commission writing

@daughter-of-the-stars11 here you go! after...idk how many months but i finally finished ur request! 

=

The isle of the lost, a place filled with criminals and thieves alike, some of the vilest villains had been trapped there as punishment for the crimes.

While the isle was deprived of fresh food, there was no shortage of alcohol. And one night, as Captain James Hook and Captain Jack Sparrow sat in a tavern drinking until dawn, the two had decided that Hook's firstborn son and Jack's firstborn daughter would be betrothed.

Why? No one knows, and Jack or James cannot be bothered to remember why the thought had even come up in the first place.

It would work to their advantage though, at least that’s what they thought, once the barrier surrounding the isle was down and their children would rule the seven seas with their combined power.

Now 16 years later, the two betrothed teens, who neither minded their “secret” engagement, still lived on the isle of the lost under the barrier that prevented them from concurring the seas.

….yes, you heard that right “secret” engagement, only Jack, James, Harry, and (y/n) know about the drunken night that ended in the kids getting hitched.

now if only Harry didn’t pretend (y/n) didn’t exist, the two could rule the docks of the isle. The two had been close all their lives, then suddenly, the son of Hook had decided to completely ignore (y/n).

something the young pirate teen had been burning to try to find out why one of her greatest friends, and her fiancé, had decided to just abandon her.

Now Uma, Harry's best friend, and Captain of the lost revenge, knew why Harry had decided to ignore (y/n).

He liked her….yeah Uma was extremely confused too. The two had known about their engagement since they could think and had been close since they could comprehend each other's existence.

By the time Harry had learned what “feelings” were, specifically the feeling of affection and love….he distanced himself from (y/n).

He always heard the villains go on and on about how love had doomed them, destroyed them, how it would destroy them if they allowed it to grow.

he knew what the butterflies in his chest and stomach meant when he saw (y/n) glance at him, the rapid beat of his heart when she laughed, the stutter of his breath as she smiled up at him.

To protect both of them from destruction, he had to separate himself from her. he knew deep down he couldn’t avoid her forever with their parent's insistence on their engagement, but Harry reasoned with himself that if he pretended, she didn’t exist, soon the feelings for her would disappear.

Yeah, that would be going out the window as one day, as he turned the corner of the main market place and saw a group of vicious Vks surrounding (y/n). he stopped, feeling heat build-up in his body as he saw them poking and prodding at her clothes and skin, one even attempting to take the necklace Harry had given her when they were kids.

He saw red, gripping onto his hook tightly as he stormed up to him, his mind told him (y/n) could easily take care of them herself, that she was one of the best swordswomen on the isle.

His heart screamed to rip them apart for talking to HIS girl like that.

“ello~” he purred, giving an airy chuckle as the group leaped 2 feet into the air and turned to him, fear filling their eyes “wha’ do we have here~ picking on the bonnie lass are yeh~”

(y/n) gave him an odd look, months and months of ignoring her only to call her that? What-her eyes shoot to her feet, confusion bubbling in her mind. “we-we were only putting sparrow in her place Hook; you know how it is-“ the lanky blond male who spoke up yelped as Harry gave a sharp snarl and shoved the sharp end of his hook under his chin.

Harry chuckled darkly at the growing dark color in the male's pants. “I don’ take kindly ta those threatenin’ my lass, I suggest yeh leave her alone from now on~”

“you-your lass?” the redhead muttered, looking at his friends before his neck was grabbed and he was shoved against the wall, knife at his back.

“yes, his” (y/n) seethed, grinning as the redhead yelped as she further dug the knife into his back “but don’t forget I’m not as helpless as you all think, stay away from me or it's your head hanging from the black pearl” the group nodded, running down the market place as soon as the two descendants of legendary pirates released them.

(y/n) glanced at harry for a moment before walking past him, yelping as he wrapped his arm around her waist and hefted her over his shoulder, making his way towards his apartment. “Harrison James Hook you put me down right now!”

“in a moment” he muttered, wincing at the metal rings on (y/n)s fingers bashed against his back as she punched it.

Soon (y/n) gave up her struggle to get out of his grip and simply let herself hang, hands tightly gripping onto his jacket to not fall off.

He carefully lumbered up the steps to his apartment and kicked open the door, he shut it with his foot and set (y/n) on her feet, sighing and leaning against the wall as (y/n) stared at him in heavy confusion.

“what the fuck was that?!” she yelled, smacking his shoulder “you ignore me for months and then call me “your lass”?! the hell?! You better explain yourself hook-Mff!”

Harry dived forward, pressing a soft kiss to the ranting (y/n)s lips, before pulling back and sighing, quickly patting his face to rid of the heat “I-I fuck-I figured shit out and I didn’t want ta ignore yeh any more love, I’m sorry” (y/n) just stared at him with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open “I-say something…please?” (y/n) closed her eyes and sighed, before suddenly reaching out and grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket and pulling him to her height, pressing her lips to his in a quick kiss. She grinned as Harry just turned red and stared at her.

“you’re forgiven….but, you owe me lunch”

“done” Harry muttered, eyes drifting down to her lips. (y/n) caught the action and snorted, patting his cheek and walked around him to the door and swung it open. “where are yeh-“

“I got shit to do Harry” (y/n) laughed, turning and winking at him as she backed out of his apartment “we can hang out later, bye~” she skipped down the steps and ran out of sight, leaving a blushing breathless harry in his apartment.

He groaned, sinking to the floor and covering his face “I could've done that such a long time ago” he groaned, smiling at looking back up at his open door “fuck yeh da’, shell be worth everything”

-end-

permtaglist

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange

@lunanight2012 @musicarose​

@remembered-license​ @random-thoughts-003​

@verboetoperee​ @rintheemolion​

@imtryingthisout​ 

[tonystarktogo]

(this could’ve been) a villain’s origin story

You have to understand, Tony Stark has Opinions™ on supes. Doesn’t matter if you’re talking superheroes or supervillains -- or the rare case that toes the line in between -- because Tony Stark doesn’t give a fuck about alignments. The very idea that people of a certain alignment deserve to be lauded or condemned, independent of their actions, chaves at him like a particularly painful itch. It’s just not right. 

[How dare they?]

And unlike most people, Tony Stark is allowed to have Opinions™ on supes. Is in fact uniquely qualified to make any and all statements, if anyone bothered to take a closer look. Not that qualifications really matter in the battle of public opinion on supes, but that’s another issue. And even Tony Stark can only fix the world one problem at a time.

The point is, when Tony discusses supes and the various icky legalities surrounding their existence, he knows what he’s freaking talking about.

Not that Tony is super in any way. Oh no. Tony is 100 percent of incorrigible human. [He’s a medical miracle, is what he is, but that’s another story altogether.]

Actually, the point is that Tony’s never been particularly good at discussing interesting things theoretically only and leaving it at that. Honestly.

[In another life, Tony would have become the first human superhero -- or perhaps supervillain. His alignment always was a toss-up made by circumstances, luck and stubbornness. He would have used that too bright, too fast, too brilliant mind of his and built himself a power source average humans can’t dream of -- can’t hope to match -- and he would have suceeded. This is not that world.]

Tony’s always been of the opinion that hypocrisy is for the weak. If he preaches that supes are human, as good and or bad as the average person next door, then he has to own up to that. If he believes that alignment doesn’t define a person, is no more or less conclusive than the freaking Sorting Hat from Harry Potter, then he has to see that belief through to the very end.

Supes are human. They are stronger, faster, more devastating, but still so human at their core.

Most humans may look at them as something akin to gods, but personally Tony thinks an average guy on crack with a slight suicidal tendency is a much more fitting comparison. [Because independent of any alignment, supes are crazy. Completely and utterly mad. Seriously, you wouldn’t believe the shit they get up to.]

With that in mind, supes are just as much in need of medical attention, technical back-up, information etc. as police men, first responders and firemen all over the world. Tony, having been raised with a mind for business and the skill and contacts to back it up, recognises a market niche when he sees one.

Granted, most supes seem to have their own minions-slash-employees [depending on their alignment] for that sort of thing, but that’s probably just because no one else appears to offer them any services.

[What self-respecting superhero goes into the ER? What self-respecting supervillain lets himself get treated in a public hospital? What health insurance even accepts supes with their nightmarish tendency to throw themselves off buildings and run straight through walls instead of using a perfectly unlocked door? Exactly.]

The point is, the Supe-Centric Emercency Services Of Any Kind are opened and ready for business on Tony’s twenty-second’ birthday.

In other words, Tony’s literally been in business for one day when he stumbles across a passed-out Winter Soldier on his way home.

Which, fun fact: Tony grew up in Miami and has been ignoring the existence of New York professionally for years, just to ensure that he doesn’t accidentally get confronted by the old man. So. He’s only been in NYC for two months at this point and is still going through great pains to pretend that the city he may or may not reside in doesn’t exist.

On the one side, this makes finding a good restaurant kind of a hit or miss experience. On the other side, it means he gets to avoid Howard Stark. Always a plus.

But what it also means is that Tony is only vaguely familiar with the local super community. As such, he can be forgiven for discovering a badly beaten Winter Soldier and assuming the guy must be an outclassed superhero, which Tony promptly declares his first customer and who’s unconscious body he drags home into his personal science-lair workshop.

In Tony’s defense, how was he supposed to know that the Winter Soldier is one of SHIELD’s ten most wanted supervillains with more hits to his name than Tony’s arm is long?

[Not that it would’ve changed anything. Read Tony’s aforementioned stand on alignments. He simply might have been better prepared for the whole SHIELD team, knocking down his open, unlocked door, is all.]

[JARVIS, meanwhile, is genuinely impressed by the fact that even after the Winter Soldier awakens, threatens Tony, is confused by Tony, is exasperated by Tony and finally decides to accept Tony’s offer for help with a healthy dose of suspicion and scepticism, it still takes Tony two months to realize that his first -- and favorite -- customer is, in fact, a supervillain.

It’s probably a good thing that SCESOAK was never geared towards a specific alignment because the Winter Soldier? Is -- in true Tony Stark fashion -- only the beginning.]

[ahgastae]

curiosity (wip) – bang chan x f!reader

➥ word count: 6.1k | spider-man au | action (?? idk) | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: alright,, let me explain myself lol. i started writing this like?? over a year ago? and eventually got to the point where i kind of just lost ALL of the ideas that i had for where i wanted this to go. SO, instead of letting it sit in my docs forever, i decided to go ahead and post it here for all of you! i hope you enjoy ♡

One thing you can say for sure is you really, really didn’t expect your life to go this way. Not that you have any idea as to how you actually want it to go, but barely hanging onto the edge of the tallest skyscraper in New York definitely isn’t on the top of your list. You feel your fingers start to cramp from the weight, and part of you realizes that this might be it. The end of the infamous Black Cat. Done in because you finally decided to do something good with your life.

Tch. Figures.

A bitter smile spreads across your lips. Of course, this would be the way you go. Ever so dramatic, but on your own damn terms. The thought is comforting, even if it only soothes your beating heart just a bit. You focus on that when your fingers finally start to give out, and you lose your grip on the edge of the rooftop. 

When your eyes slowly slip closed, and you feel the wind rushing through your hair. 

There’s a small voice in your head telling you to hold on, that it’s almost there. It’s weird. It almost sounds familiar. Almost like-

“Y/N!”

You jolt up in your bed, chest heaving as you struggle to regain your breath. Stars twinkle faintly outside a large window to your right, but your vision quickly adjusts to the rest of the darkened room. Your hands release their iron grip on your plush comforter, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. You’re in your bedroom. It was just another nightmare.

A scoff. ‘Just another nightmare.’ You’ve been plagued with the same stupid dream for weeks now, and you still can’t figure out why. It always starts and ends the same way. You’re hanging off the skyscraper, you try to hang on for as long as you can, you realize very quickly that you can’t hold on any longer, and then you fall. Presumably to your death. But you never seem to make it that far.

Not that you want to, but don’t most people not wake up until they hit the ground during those dreams? Why do you wake up gasping for air before you’re even halfway down? You suppose you should be lucky, but you can’t help feeling like there’s more to it than that. Especially with that voice, the one that calls your name? You always hear it calling out to you, every night, right before you wake up. Tonight wasn’t any different.

You sigh, swinging your legs over the edge of your bed and eyeing the clock on your night stand. 3:25AM. 

….Shit.

Well, you’re probably not getting back to bed anytime soon, so you might as well put this wake up call to good use. Padding over to your closet, you carefully swing open the wooden door, cringing to yourself when a slight creak echoes off your bedroom walls. You wait a few seconds just to make sure you’re in the clear. But the apartment is completely silent, save for your roommate’s soft snores in her room next door.

The hidden panel in the back of your closet slides open with a click, and you can’t help the excited smile on your face. No matter how you’re feeling, the sight of that black catsuit never fails to brighten your mood. Your hands run along the smooth material, quickly changing into the familiar suit, and grinning when you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the window. You didn’t really plan on going out, but….

Looks like the Black Cat is going to have some fun tonight after all.

The museum is quiet when you drop through the skylight, landing softly on the balcony of the second floor. Your EMP seems to have done its job, as the security system is powered down and there doesn’t seem to be a guard in sight. They’re probably all back in their office, hurriedly trying to figure out what the hell went wrong. If only they knew about the small, catlike figurine hidden on the roof. Although, maybe not. You don’t mind leaving your adorably deceiving EMPs behind, but they’re not for some random night guard to find. No, you leave them behind for a specific someone. A certain web-headed hero, if you will.

Oh, who are you kidding? It’s no secret (at least, not to him) that you love to tease New York’s  friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Everywhere you go, every heist you pull, you always make sure the hero knows it was you. Obsessed? You wouldn’t say so. Sure, you definitely get a little too excited at the thought of just barely slipping out of his fingers again, but you don’t spend every waking minute planning his demise like some of his other big, bad villains. 

Really, if you were to rank yourself, you’d probably be somewhere between “Lovable Anti-Villain” and “Hero With an ‘F’ in Good”. Not super “evil,” more like just enough to keep the wallcrawler chasing your tail. 

But that’s not the entire reason you’re here tonight, slipping into the museum’s new exhibit on fourteenth century Japan. 

The law labels you a criminal, Spider-Man believes you’re misguided, but you know what you are. You’re the Black Cat, a thief notorious throughout the underground. Well, you say that, but of the people that actually believe you exist, very few have actually seen the Black Cat in person. Actually, it may just be Spider-Man, now that you think about it. Maybe that’s why you feel a weird connection with the wall-crawling hero.

Either way, bottom line is you’re a thief, and a damn good one at that. It’s definitely not the most noble profession (or legal one), but your very specific set of skills make you the best at it, so why not? Plus, it’s not like you’re entirely heartless. 

No, you only steal from the wealthy of New York, the highest of elites, the ones who can stand to lose a few thousands (or millions, if you’re feeling pretty moody that night). You’ve tried to explain that to Spider-Man, that it’s okay for you to steal from them because they’re the ones who deserve it. It’s downright disgusting how many of them used dirty means to come into their wealth, methods ranging from less than savory to straight up nefarious.

You may be bad, but you’re definitely not worse than them.

That brings you back to the exhibit. Most of the artifacts in this room were already either stolen or bought from the black market, so what does it matter if you just continue that line?

The latch of the display case clicks as you open the lid, admiring the ancient Japanese tea set nestled inside. You don’t really know its value yet, but it’s going to earn you a pretty penny, that’s for sure. Your hand reaches into the case, hovering over the ceramic teapot when you hear it.

THWIP.

You drop to a crouch, glancing up at the webbing splattered across the lid of the display case. If you hadn’t moved, that would’ve been all over you. And you’d definitely be pissed, if you didn’t know exactly where it came from. A sly smile crosses your face as you stand and turn, locking eyes (or masks?) with your favorite hero perched atop one of the exhibit’s statues.

“I’m starting to think you like us meeting this way, Spider-Man.”

The playful lilt in your voice never fails to catch him off guard. His broad shoulders tense, and it takes everything in you to suppress the giggle from escaping your lips. But he’s quick to compose himself, like always, and you’re almost certain you can hear the smirk in his tone.

“What can I say? My mom always told me to follow my dreams.”

You laugh, trailing a hand along another case as you stroll towards him, “How did you know I’d be here?”

“New exhibit filled with priceless artifacts and no rooftop security,” He shrugs, jumping from the statue’s head and landing in front of you with a soft thud. “Figured it’d be a cat burglar’s dream come true.”

“You thought of me?” You step closer, resting your hands on the white spider emblazoned across his chest. The muscles tense underneath your fingers, and you smirk when his hands twitch in the corner of your eye. “Don’t worry, Spidey. I promise I’m on my best behavior. I just want a few teensy, tiny things and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Sorry, Cat, but I don’t think any of these artifacts are for sale.”

“But they could be,” You shrug, turning away from him. Your fingers toy with the latch on a nearby display case. “See, I think I have a buyer who would love to add something like this to his collection…”

A gloved hand wraps around your wrist before you can open the case. Your eyes trail up his arm, blinking innocently at his white lenses.

“You know I can’t let you do this.”

You smile, leaning into him once more, “Can’t, or won’t?” He stays silent, and you reach your free hand up to cup his masked face. Your thumb softly traces back and forth on his cheek. “Isn’t it funny,” you whisper, “how something as simple as a piece of fabric can keep someone from knowing who you really are?”

“Cat…”

“Do you really think that you can save me, Spidey?” You tilt your head, eyes desperately scanning his face for any sign of his thoughts or feelings. “How do you know if I even want to be saved?”

He swiftly tugs you closer, and despite the white lenses shielding his eyes, you feel his gaze pierce into your own. When he speaks, his voice is soft but deep, and for the first time since you met him, you’re rendered speechless.

“Because you wouldn’t still be here if you didn’t.”

Before you can respond, the sound of footsteps down the hall startles you both. Spider-Man’s grip loosens as he quickly turns towards the exhibit entrance, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what’s going on. The guards must have finally figured out that someone is after the new exhibit, and they won’t be happy to find two intruders standing inside. 

Your eyes shift between Spider-Man and the exhibit entrance. It won’t be hard for you two to escape together before the guards even set foot in this room, but what will you do then? Will you laugh and tell him that he’s wrong about you, that you really don’t want his help? 

….Or is it that you don’t think you deserve it?

No, he’s just wrong. Spider-Man doesn’t know you, and it’s silly of you to even pretend that he does. You know you like your life just the way it is. That’s not going to change, no matter how much your chest tightens as you gently tug your wrist out of his grip.

It’s not going to change, no matter how much a part of you wishes he would notice you climbing up to the skylight in the center of the room. That he would stop you from slipping through it, and back into the starry night. That he wouldn’t let you fall through his fingertips yet again.

But you’ve never been particularly lucky. Especially not when you really want to be.

By the time you get back to your apartment and change out of your gear, it’s already well past dawn. Like usual, your roommate is still asleep, blissfully unaware that you were gone for a good portion of the night. Which is good, because you really don’t know how you would explain your “other life” to her if she ever found out.

With your suit safely stowed back in its hidden panel, you collapse onto your bed with a heavy sigh. What a fucking night. You’re a little upset that you ended up leaving empty handed, but you knew that was going to happen as soon as you saw the wall-crawler. He really just guessed that you were going to be there tonight. Are you getting that predictable?

Ugh, no. You shake your head. The last thing you want to think about right now is what happened at the museum. How could such a simple sentence send all of your thoughts into a whirlwind of emotions?

“Because you wouldn’t still be here if you didn’t.” 

His voice still echoes in your mind, and you stuff your face in your pillow with a groan. This is dumb. Why are you freaking out over this? It’s not like he meant anything by it, just his usual Spidey “I can help you!” stuff. Yeah, that’s it. He just gave you the same spiel he gives all his other enemies, nothing more, nothing less.

….But why does that hurt more?

You throw the pillow off your face as another sigh escapes your lips. Sometimes you really wish you could be one of those super evil villains. You know, those ones who never have to deal with their feelings and shit because they’re too busy taking over the world. Although, you guess you don’t really want to take over the world, at least not all of it. That’s way too much responsibility. You wonder if the people who actually do want to rule the world think of how much time and effort that’s going to require. How do they prepare for that? Is that mental preparation how they’re able to turn off all their feelings? Could you somehow learn to-

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

You shriek at the sudden whisper in your ear, instinctively rolling away from its source and tumbling off the end of your bed. Your butt hits the floor with a dull thud, and you glare at a giggling Sana over your mattress.

“What the hell was that for?!”

“S-Sorry!” She chokes out. “I didn’t think I’d scare you that bad!”

Crawling back onto your bed with a grumble, you eye Sana as she struggles to collect herself. She really shouldn’t have scared you that bad, but you guess the lack of sleep and your frazzled thoughts are finally starting to catch up with you. When Sana finally manages to contain her giggles, she plops down on the edge of your mattress with a small huff.

“I really am sorry for scaring you, Y/N,” She reaches out to squeeze your hand. “I thought you would have noticed me walk in.”

You shake your head, giving her a small squeeze in return, “It’s fine. I’ve just...been having some trouble sleeping lately. That’s all.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her voice is so sincere and caring, you almost find yourself saying yes. You don’t, though, because you can’t tell her the real reason why you haven’t been sleeping, and you don’t think you can bear to lie to her about it, either. With that, your roommate leaves, going back to her room to get ready for her day while you try to muscle up the energy to start yours.

Throwing your legs over the side of your bed, you grab your phone from your nightstand to check the time. Oh, looks like you got a good number of texts during your daydreaming, too.

...And it looks like most of them are from your best friend.

changaroo 🦘 : hey, jinyoung’s in a bit of a mood today, so make sure you’re here on time, alright?

changaroo  🦘 : also i think i have an idea for your next article, i’ll tell you about it when you get in

changaroo  🦘 : y/n, you were supposed to be here 20 min ago, everything okay??

changaroo  🦘 : ….you fucking slept in again, didn’t you?

changaroo  🦘 : hold on i’m texting sana

Ah. So that’s why she was in your room. Chan’s texts are just what you need to get yourself out of bed, though, instantly motivated by both your best friend’s caring nature and the thought of your boss’s wrath hanging above your head. The last time Jinyoung was in a “mood”, you ended up covering the city’s sewer system for a whole month just because you left your dirty coffee mug sitting in the break room sink. That’s a mistake you only make once. Or four times, if you’re poor Hyunjin, who just can’t seem to stay on your boss’s good side, no matter how hard he tries.

Speaking of which, you really need to get your ass moving, or else you’ll wish you only had to cover rats and raw sewage.

Your chest heaves as you approach the Daily Bugle building, the red neon letters standing tall and proud atop its roof announcing the paper’s presence to all of New York City. Some tourists stand around here and there in front of the building’s entrance, and you have to push past them in order to make it inside. Once inside, you think you can take a brief moment of rest. 

Until you notice the clock above the receptionist’s desk and realize you’re almost forty-five minutes late.

With a small cry, you take off in another mad dash towards the stairs, taking the steps two at a time and only almost faceplanting once before you finally burst onto your floor. Everyone immediately turns at the noise, and you avoid their probing eyes as you make your way to your desk. 

You sit down, turn on your computer, and get yourself ready to act like you aren’t almost an hour late to start your day when you sense a familiar gaze still boring into your forehead. You can’t stop yourself from glancing up, finding his eyes staring at you over your monitor. 

“Not. One. Word.”

Chan laughs, leaning back in his chair and giving you a view of his entire face. He mimes zipping his mouth shut and throwing away the key, and a small smile crosses your face. Leave it to him to automatically brighten your day.

If you’re being completely honest, you were a little worried at first about the curly haired Australian your boss decided to place at the desk across from you. Not that you didn’t like him, but you didn’t exactly become the paper’s best investigative journalist by sitting around and making friends. Sure, you don’t necessarily need this job given your…”other” career, but it gives you something to do during the week and keeps your mind busy. That, and you really just like digging into people’’s deep, dark secrets.

Long story short, you weren’t exactly thrilled about some new guy coming in and taking your eye off the ball. At least, that’s what you thought, until the day Christopher Bang showed up and introduced himself as your new partner. Turns out, Jinyoung didn’t just hire a new photographer for the Bugle, he hired a new photographer specifically for your articles. You knew then that you just had to suck it up and deal, but you didn’t count on Christopher (or Chan, as he later insisted you call him) being literally the nicest, most charming guy you’ve ever met.

And despite your attempts to stop it, you and Chan quickly became “thick as thieves,” as he likes to call it. The phrase makes you cringe a little every time he says it, but you can’t deny its truth. If you were to trust anyone with your secret life, it would definitely be your best friend. Now, you’re never going to do that because what in the hell would you gain from it, but the sentiment is still there.

Actually, speaking of secrets….

You glance up at Chan again, except this time his attention is focused on his own computer screen. Part of you wants to just leave him be, but this has been eating at you since you talked to Sana this morning. Or, no, when you first woke up at 3AM today. You swallow your pride, clearing your throat just loud enough to get Chan’s attention. His brown eyes immediately find yours.

“Something wrong?”

“I, um…” You bite your lip. “I had another one of those dreams again.”

Chan’s brow furrows, and he leans forward in his seat, “The falling one? Isn’t that the fourth time this week?”

“It’s the twelfth time this month, Chan.” 

“Shit…” He mumbles, running a hand through his blond hair. You try to ignore the way your heart speeds up at the small action, staring down at your keyboard to hide your face. You’re just...not used to trusting someone as much as you trust Chan. Yeah, that’s it. Absolutely nothing but that sole reason alone. “Y/N?”

“H-Hm?” You blink up at Chan, cheeks heating up even more when you realize you were caught daydreaming. Again.

“I just figured there must be a reason you keep having the same dream, you know? Like, maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something?”

You think for a moment. Could that be the case? Is your subconscious really fucking up your sleep schedule for some important message that’s getting lost in translation? Are you just a dumbass who can’t understand your own brain?

Honestly, all valid possibilities.

Before you can respond, though, the phone on your desk rings loudly. Chan’s brow raises as you pick it up, but you both already know who it is. There’s really only one person who uses that line, and it’s the same person you were hoping not to hear from today.

“L/N, my office. Now.”

And then he hangs up. Your boss has always been a man of few words, but sometimes you really hate how such a short sentence can strike so much fear into your heart. Chan watches as you stand up and adjust your outfit with a heavy sigh.

“Tell him you haven’t been sleeping well lately,” He suggests, and for a minute you think he’s actually being earnest. But, of course, he just has to open his mouth again, “And if that doesn’t work, then at least we’ll be exploring the sewers of New York together!”

A laugh bubbles past your lips, “Are you serious?”

“Hey, I’ve always wanted to know if the Ninja Turtles were real,” Chan grins widely, chuckling when you just shake your head and walk away. He can still see the smile on your face, though, and it only grows when he shouts after you, “You know you wouldn’t mind being the April to my Casey!”

“In your dreams, Christopher!”

His loud laughter follows you all the way to the stairwell, and your chest feels light as you climb up to your boss’s office on the top floor. With Chan’s bright smile in the back of your mind, it’s hard to remember what you were so worried about in the first place. At least, until you’re standing right outside your boss’s door.

“Thank you for taking your sweet time, L/N. Please, sit down.”

Park Jinyoung is, for lack of better words, intimidating to some, and outright terrifying to others. You like to think you’re somewhere near the former, but the look on the twenty-four year old’s face right now is enough to send even the most despicable villains running for the hills. Really, who needs a Spider-Man when you’ve got a Jinyoung to just death glare the bad guys away?

You take a seat in the chair in front of his desk, nervously wringing your hands in your lap. He spends a few more seconds shuffling around the papers and files on his desk, then fixes you with a deadpan look. 

“Do you know why I called you in here, L/N?”

“Because I was...late again?” Your shoulders hunch, automatically preparing for the verbal barrage of scolding to start, but it never comes. You glance up at Jinyoung cautiously, shocked to find his brows raised in amusement.

Much more to your surprise, he chuckles, leaning back in his office chair, “You look like you’re about to faint, L/N. I really think you need to loosen up a bit.”

“O-Okay, sir-”

“That’s why,” Jinyoung cuts you off, “I want you to take on a new side project for the paper.”

You blink. A side project…? What could he possibly mean by that? And how does giving you more work equate to you “loosening up”?!

“Let me explain.” You stay silent as your boss clears his throat, sitting up in his seat to look you in the eyes. “Truthfully, it would be less of a side project and more of an ongoing investigative piece. It’ll take the place of your other responsibilities for the Bugle, so you can divide and spread out your workload as you see fit. You don’t even have to report to me until the full piece is finished, if you’d like.”

...Is this a test? Because it feels like a test, doesn’t it? He gives you some too-good-to-be-true offer, and then fires you for being stupid enough to accept it. Or, maybe-

Oh, god, is this where the sewers come in?

“I’m sorry, sir,” You force out, steeling your nerves against his hard gaze, “but I think I’m going to decline.”

You hope that’s going to be the end of it, that Jinyoung will just nod and send you on your way, but of course that’s not the case. No, instead your boss surprises you for the second time, and he actually smiles.

“Are you sure, L/N?” He asks, and you get the strange feeling he’s getting some sick satisfaction from messing with you. “I haven’t even told you what the piece is about yet.”

A small sigh leaves your lips, “What...What is it about, sir?”

“Oh, it’s simple, L/N,” Jinyoung’s smirk grows, taking your question as an acceptance of his offer. His next words shock the objection right out of you, though, and leave only one thought in their place. “You’re just going to do this city and this paper a favor, and finally find out who New York’s friendly neighborhood Spider-Man really is.”

...Fuck.

“He wants you to what?!”

You flinch, pulling your phone away from your ear as Sana’s voice screeches from the device. Honestly, she hadn’t been your first choice to tell about your new “project” (Jinyoung didn’t give you much choice, after all), but Chan was nowhere to be seen when you got back to your desk. You did, however, have one simple text waiting on your phone.

changaroo 🦘 : had to run out. meet you at the usual spot for lunch. my treat <3

So, here you are. Waiting at the pizzeria you and Chan regularly meet at with your roommate loudly screaming in your ear. You mumble something to Sana about needing to go and seeing her at home, and hang up the call. You love her, you really do, but right now you need someone who’s not going to blow out your eardrums without listening to what you actually want to say.

But it’s starting to look more and more like that won’t be Chan, either.

The blond boy has a habit of disappearing every now and again, both during and outside of work, and right now is starting to seem like one of those times. It doesn’t usually take him this long to respond to your texts, and he never likes to miss your little ‘lunch dates’ without any warning. Either something is seriously wrong, or…

“This just in, the NYPD advises all civilians to evacuate the east Harlem district. We’ve received reports of the Rhino attacking parts of the area, along with sightings of the masked vigilante, Spider-Man. That’s all we know for now, but we will continue to keep you posted as the story develops. Now, onto the…”

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Chan’s mysterious disappearances always line up with whatever villain of the day getting their ass kicked by everyone’s favorite “vigilante.” The news anchor’s choice of words makes you snicker, but you can’t help but worry for your friend. Most people run away from villain attacks, and it doesn’t sit well with you knowing Chan is regularly risking his life just to get a few good shots for his portfolio. His photos are amazing, there’s no denying that, but you always wonder how he gets his impossible close ups of villains and their destruction. It’s almost like he has to be right in the middle of–

The bell above the pizzeria’s door rings, jolting you out of your thoughts. You look up expectantly, but it’s still not your best friend. A quiet sigh escapes your lips. Another look at your phone tells you that you can’t wait here much longer; you need to get back to work sometime today. Still, it pains you a little bit to stand from your guys’ booth. Your usual tip is left on the table despite it being only one meal, and you head back to the Bugle with your best friend lingering in the back of your mind.

Back at your desk, you finally get a chance to mull over your new “assignment”. Jinyoung has tasked you, for whatever reason, with figuring out Spider-Man’s real identity. You remember now why you wanted to talk to Chan so badly. You thought, since he’s always running back and forth between villain attacks, that he would have some kind of idea where to start. That, and you really just wanted to rant about your asshole boss to your best friend. Chan ended up being a no show, though, and he’s still not answering any of your texts. You hate to admit it, but you’re a little lost.

Your first thought was to use the connection you already have with the spider to your advantage. You’ve “known” each other for a couple years now, and maybe, just maybe, you can convince him to actually take off the mask. It wouldn’t be that hard to just don the Black Cat suit and wait around one of your usual hang outs for him show up. Actually, that would probably be the easiest thing to do.

Except that you can’t.

As you stare at Chan’s vacant desk in front of you, you’re bitterly reminded that Y/N L/N has been assigned this job, not the Black Cat. And unfortunately for you, Y/N L/N does not have the same connection to Spider-Man as your alter ego. Looks like you’re starting this investigation from square one.

...Which is why you wanted to talk to Chan. He’s your partner, after all; he’s “technically” supposed to help you out with this stuff. That is, if he was actually fucking here. Maybe you should drop by his apartment on your way home, just to make sure he didn’t get trampled or something trying to get a snapshot of the Rhino’s rampage. You try to tell yourself you meant that as a joke, but it doesn’t stop the flash of worry in your chest. You’ve seen firsthand some of the destruction Spider-Man’s battles leave behind. Hell, you’ve even experienced it. And honestly? It doesn’t sit well knowing your best friend makes a hobby of putting himself right in the middle of it.

A heavy sigh escapes your lips, and you’re just starting to consider giving up and calling it a day when your phone lights up with a notification. You hastily snatch it off your desk, immediately perking up upon seeing the name on your screen.

changaroo 🦘 : sorry i missed lunch...take out at mine?

changaroo 🦘 : i’ll order from that korean place you love <3

The tension in your shoulders immediately melts away, tension that you didn’t even realize you were holding. You waste no time in responding, though; relieved to know that he’s okay, but wanting to mess with him a little bit for leaving you on radio silence for so long.

you : tsk tsk channie

you : don’t you know how rude it is to leave a lady waiting all by her lonesome??

you : frankly i don’t know if i’ll ever be able to trust you again (tear emoji or some bs idk)

Three little dots pop up seconds after you press send, and you bite your lip to stop the smile threatening to break through. 

changaroo 🦘 : my apologies, princess!! 

changaroo 🦘 : please, allow me to make it up to you with some of your fav ice cream from the convenience store down the road!

you : hmm…

you : with or without sprinkles?

changaroo 🦘 : uh, with ofc. just who do you think i am??

A small laugh bubbles up your throat, but you cover your mouth before it can escape. Woojin, head of the paper’s advice column, side-eyes you from his desk a few feet away. You don’t notice, though, happily typing out your reply to Chan with an eager grin on your face.

you : apology accepted. i’ll be there in 15

you : ...casey 😉

The train ride to Chan’s apartment is a familiar blur. You’ve taken it more times than you care to count, and it’s honestly become a bit of a habit to instinctively get off at his stop. You don’t have to stop yourself this time, though, putting your legs on auto-pilot and letting your mind wander as you walk. Today has been….a real doozy. From that stupid dream this morning to Jinyoung dumping a monster of an investigative piece on you with zero notice, you’re exhausted, to say the least. No wonder Chan’s front door is such a comforting sight. 

You gently rap your knuckles against the wood before letting yourself in, like you always do. A relieved sigh escapes you as you drop your bag by the door, inhaling the light, summery scent of your friend’s home. That reminds you, you’ve really been meaning to ask him what air freshener he uses. Or maybe it’s his cologne, because it’s not just his house that smells this sweet; it’s Chan himself. Or who knows, maybe he’s like your coworker Minho and it’s really both. Actually, now that you think of it, isn’t it a little weird to have a specific smell you associate with your best friend?

…Which is something you can worry about later.

“Chan!” You call as you walk into the living room, eyes scanning around. There are various take out boxes scattered across the coffee table, but the blond is nowhere in sight. You try again, “Chan?”

A frown etches onto your face when there's still no response. That’s weird. It’s not like him to just leave when he knows you’re coming over, especially without telling you first. But the food on the table is still warm, meaning he had to have been here recently. Did you somehow miss his text? You pull your phone out of your back pocket, confirming that you did not, in fact, miss any “brb” texts from Chan. So, what the hell?

Your search takes you into the small kitchen next, but there’s no sign of your best friend there, either, unless the dirty dishes in the sink count. Oh, gross, you know for a fact some of those have been in there since last week. Your nose scrunches up in disgust and you quickly move on from the room, but not before making a mental note to tell Chan to do his fucking dishes. 

However, the bathroom is empty, too, leaving the apartment’s one bedroom as your last stop. If you had more of a conscience, maybe you would think twice before barging into your friend’s bedroom unannounced. Then again, boundaries never really have been your strong suit.

The door swings open, and the first thing you see is abs. Nice, well toned abs that, as you soon find out, belong to your best friend. Said best friend is frozen, one of his signature black tees pulled halfway down his torso. After a few seconds of stunned silence, you force yourself to tear your eyes away from Chan’s stomach, only for your cheeks to immediately explode in pink when your gaze meets his.

A small squeak leaves your mouth, and you quickly mumble something about waiting for him in the living room before slamming the bedroom door shut. That could not have gone any worse.

[reaperintheroses]

Minuscule

Bucky x villain reader

A/N: I tried to keep the reader pretty gender neutral but if there are any pronouns other than they/them let me know so I can fix it. This is what I’m thinking to be the first week in my writing rotation so we’ll see how long this lasts. Also I know it’s short and a little rushed- I did my best. Also if you weren’t aware a magazine is where you pre-store bullets for a gun, and is, in this case, external. The reader talks about using a finished magazine to replace what they are stealing in case there is a weight sensor like in indiana jones. This specific mag. is made out of metal so it would work for the weight sensor. I don’t specify the rifle so that much is left up to imagination. 

Warnings: swearing, gun use, violence, crappy writing

readers power description

It was peaceful in a way, to sneak around as the rest of the world was sleeping. It really made you realize how small you were compared to the rest of the world. Just a mere drop in the ocean. You thought this way often. Realizing that no one would really care much about you. It was fine. You preferred to live in the shadows verse being one of the huge villains in the spotlight. That was a dangerous way to live. Far easier to get caught. You weren’t in this life for fame and anyone who was, you considered just plain stupid. You rose from your crouch on the roof of the building. You had to move fast if you wanted to get away and unfortunately, there wasn’t time to enjoy your surroundings. As cliche as it sounded, this artifact would have you set for life. It was just your luck that it was conveniently located in your current city and the heist involved one person with your exact skill set.

You worked for a group of black market mercenaries going under the name “the red merchants”. The group consisted of about 10 people with completely different skill sets and levels of training. None of you had ever met each other, only communicating through strange online chat rooms and a shared bank account. Recently though your group had fallen under shields spotlight and were placed on a government watch list. This would be your last heist with the group before completely dropping off the grid. Oh and the artifact you were trying to steal? An Asgardian jewel, worth billions. 

You turned around and strapped the gun you had been holding onto your back. You turned on the earpiece that you received in the mail a week ago and looked around to see if there was anyone around you who could possibly be working against you. After confirming that you were safe you made your way down the fire escape on the side of the building trying to be quiet as possible. When the static in your ear broke you stopped. “How far away are you?” a voice questioned in your ear. “About two jumps,” that was the reason you were so perfect for this job, see you had a superpower that allowed you to teleport short distances. You called these jumps. They were super helpful for stealth missions. “Let me know when you’ve completed the first. I can turn off the internal security for up to fifteen minutes, once you are inside you have to work fast. I’ve already started looping the cameras but if you have company it won’t take long for them to realize.” you sighed. “Understood, about to start the first jump.” The static returned showing that your fellow merchant had switched channels. You focused your energy and shut your eyes trying to be discreet. Making the first jump you looked around checking to see if anyone was around. You lifted your head to your ear piece, “First jump complete.” You ducked behind a dumpster and waited for further instruction. “In 60 seconds I’ll turn on the software. This is the last you will hear from me. Once your mission is complete destroy your earpiece and any evidence leading you to our group. It’s been a pleasure working with you.” It was sentimental, in a way. You almost felt sad. “You as well, thank you.” You switched channels in case there was anything else they had to tell you and started another jump. Taking a deep breath you ran into the portal that had been created. 

You came face first with the side of the building you were supposed to infiltrate. You recalled your notes about the entire layout of the building and the codes for each door. 2576. Nothing happened and you started to panic that was the wrong code and you would be locked out. You started to look around for other things you could use to break the system before it locked you out. You had worked so hard to get here and you would be damned if you got stopped before even getting in the building. You unstrapped your gun and raised the butt to hit the keypad as you heard a small beep and click. Moving one hand away from the gun with a confused face you used your other to grab the door handle and pull. ‘Okay strong start’ you thought to yourself as you placed your gun on your back and walked into the building. You saw a few guards walking away from your direction. ‘They must have just switched posts,’ You started another jump, trying your best to not make any noise as to make up for the time the door lost you. The jewel was located in the middle of the building in a vault, which was surrounded by about 20 guards so when you jumped in there you would have to be careful. Going through the jump you had just created you paid no attention to where you ended up as long as it was close to the jewel.

This of course was a mistake because when you emerged from the jump you were face-to-face with five armed guards who seemed to be on their break. “Hi there,” you raised your hand in a mock wave. They all reached to their sides where you assumed they had concealed weapons. Quickly jumping behind the first guard you kicked them in the back causing them to fall towards the table in front of them. Unstrapping your own rifle you hit them over the head before you took aim at the closest guard to your left. Once you hit them you kicked them in the stomach using the impact of your kick to throw the guard into the other behind them causing them both to fall to the ground. You aimed the rifle in the direction of the 4th guard grinning when you heard the impact of the bullet. The 5th dashed out the door. You looked back down to the guards who you were restraining with your body. “I always hate it when they run.” You sighed before jumping into the hallway right behind the running guard. Raising your rifle you let out a quiet “coward,” before hitting them over the head with the rifle, catching them before they fell and jumping back into the break room. You dropped the unconscious guard onto the floor before grabbing a chair and propping it under the door before locking it as well. 

Getting ready to jump again you thought back to the layout of the building. You imagined the very center of the vault, where there were no guards as a security measure, and thought about what it would look like. You had maybe 5 minutes left before the security came back on and you would be caught. You jumped again and looked around. You were face to face with the green jewel. The security was seriously lacking, the only thing protecting the jewel from your hands was a glass case. This really was too easy. You figured that sense Thor was on Earth he would be more involved with the safety of one of the most prized possessions of his people. Oh well. Made life easier for you. You stalked over to the jewel with your finished magazine in hand just in case there was a weight sensor. You outstretched your hand and right as you were about to close on the jewel you heard a break in the static in your ear. “The security countermeasures I put in place have a minute and 30 seconds left,” You withdrew your hand confused and turned around to face the wall. Why would they tell you that? You were well aware that you wouldn’t be able to finish in the time frame you were given. They said when they turned on the countermeasures that it could be the last you would hear from them. “4 of the avengers known as captain america, the falcon, the winter soldier, and of course thor have joined you, they are 1 floor away just thought I should inform you. Best of luck.” You squint your eyes. Not good. You fully switched off the earpiece before turning back towards the jewel. “I wouldn’t if I was you,” a voice came from behind you. You froze. “Of course you wouldn’t, falcon.” you replied before dashing for the jewel. Wrapping your hand around you turned around and looked. Calculating how well your odds were you realized that no matter how spent your power was there was no way you were getting out of here by taking them all down in a fist fight. You made eye contact with the winter soldier. Oh just lovely. Not only did he know exactly how your power worked he knew almost everything about you. This was just fan-fucking-tastic. Trying not to show how scared you were, you smirked at him before turning and facing the entire group that had come to try and stop you. “I would really love to stay and hear all about everything I’m doing wrong and how the only person I’m hurting is my self and so on, but I really must be going seeing that I have prior engagements that involve pawning off this rock and setting myself up on a beach with a margarita that has one of those tiny umbrellas.” Thor looked like he wouldn’t have an issue killing you in order to get the jewel back so you decided it was time to take your leave. Hopefully, they were slow enough that you could make it to the roof and have a few minutes to regain your bearings before they reached you. 

The falcon started to make his way over to you and right as he was about to secure you by the arm you jumped and almost fell off the side of the building. You stuck your arms out to help you regain your balance. Once you were sure you weren't going to plummet to your death, you sucked in a huge breath. ‘Maybe you would get away after all.’ You turned around and began to look at the sunrise and draw energy to yourself. Right as you were about to open your last jump to get you away from this dumpster fire of a heist you heard the door to the roof slam open and 4 sets of footsteps spill out from the stairwell. With an annoyed face you turned back around and faced the heroes that were still in pursuit of you. “y/n, I know that you don’t think it but you don’t need to do this.” Shit he knew your name, that makes everything even more difficult. “Shield helped me, they can help you too.” You rolled your eyes. This was a cute attempt but in the end it was pointless. ‘Bucky I’m not going to prison, I refused to be trapped down.” He recoiled slightly at the fact that you too knew his name. You blew out an aggravated breath, there really was no point to this savior monologue.  “I know this sounds super cliche but if you just stepped down I promise I will do everything in my power to help you.” You smiled a tiny bit. “Look, I appreciate the effort but theres really no point.” He continued to talk while you summoned more energy for a final jump. You cut him off, “Sorry lover boy, I’m just beyond saving.” You raised your middle finger in the hand not holding the jewel and started to lean off of the roof. Right as your feet left the edge, he started to rush to the side of the building. you summoned energy to help you jump. “We should do this again,” you shouted as you felt the energy surround you and you were pulled out of the air. 

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

hey buddies -

just sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee thinking about Supernatural, and fathers and anger, and angels and love.  

yeah.  it’s Saturday, I guess.

my eagworms are back, so come think with me after the cut!!

so I'm thinking about how that terrible man Randy who manipulated Claire Novak, a narrative mirror for Dean Winchester, in SPN 10x09: The Things We Left Behind was a narrative mirror for J*hn Eric Winchester, the terrible man who manipulated Dean Winchester for the entirety of his childhood and young adult life

and all Cas wanted to do was make Claire see that Randy was just using her, and she was better than that because he fucking loved her

also thinking about how Dean Winchester was the one who killed Randy

thinking about how it wasn’t as much the Mark of Cain as it was his repressed feelings about his abusive damn father that he’s never dealt with (because he thought he deserved it), and he reacted in a murderous fucking rage because of that, because he saw J*hn in Randy and himself in Claire -

now thinking about the Mark of Cain and Dean’s tendency towards anger, stemming directly from his childhood with J*hn Eric Winchester, thinking about how J*hn used him as a weapon, how J*hn’s entire purpose after Mary’s death was his quest for vengeance, how Dean had to protect Sam from him over and over, despite his father mentally pitting them against each other constantly and manipulating them

ex: 1x22:Dead Man’s Blood

thinking about Cain who took on the Mark of Cain to save his brother Abel, to protect his brother Abel and send him to heaven,  despite it turning Cain into a killer and demon -

thinking about how that story was manipulated through time and turned into a story of Cain killing Abel instead

thinking about how Cain and Abel were Dean and Sam’s ancestors - 

(all hail King Matt Cohen)

how Cain became the father of murder

thinking about how Cain was the son of Adam

thinking about how when we meet Adam, Cain’s father, in 15x17:Unity,  he says all this about Chuck/God:

ADAM

God's "first story," yeah. Jumped through every hoop, talked to every snake. When he kicked us out of paradise, Eve and me, we figured, eh, we deserved it. Then he moved on... to our sons.

...

JACK

You hate him.

ADAM

Oh, no. I've been wanting this for going on 300,000 years. Took me that long to figure out how to do it, too.

JACK

Wait-- killing God is your plan?

**now thinking about Adam’s 300,000 year quest for vengeance on Chuck. but how Adam doesn’t hate Chuck. how there’s no rage in Adam. thinking about why.

NOW THINKING ABOUT HOW LUCIFER WAS THE FIRST BEARER OF THE MARK OF CAIN

HOW CHUCK TOLD LUCIFER HE WAS HIS FAVORITE 

AND THE MARK WAS GIVEN TO HIM BY HIS FATHER WHO USED HIM AS A WEAPON TO IMPRISON AMARA

AND THEN LOCKED HIM UP IN A CAGE WHEN THE MARK CORRUPTED HIM,

MANIPULATING THE STORY SO EVERYONE BELIEVED LUCIFER WAS JUST EVIL 

11x18: Hells Angel

CAS!IFER [smirking]:

It's marketing. He's creating a need in the consumer's mind. Can't be a Super Savior if you don't have a Super Villain.

 ***

thinking about how Lucifer didn’t want to fight Michael in 5x22: Swan Song

LUCIFER/SAM

So why? And why make us fight? I just can't figure out the point. MICHAEL/ADAM

What's your point? LUCIFER/SAM

We're going to kill each other. And for what? One of Dad's tests. And we don't even know the answer. We're brothers. Let's just walk off the chessboard. MICHAEL/ADAM

I'm sorry. I-I can't do that. I'm a good son, and I have my orders. 

***thinking about how Chuck manipulated the two brothers into fighting each other

***DAMMIT NOW THINKING ABOUT AU!MICHAEL AND HOW HE SPENT THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 14 ASKING THIS QUESTION:

“What do you want?”

***thinking about how angels aren’t supposed to understand how to feel, how to love.  So Lucifer and Michael didn’t understand how to feel, how to love. 

***NOW thinking about how Adam wasn’t vengeful despite wanting to kill Chuck for 300,000 years.  thinking about how Adam had an angel lover named Serafina that entire time. 

JACK (to Dean)

She's an angel.

ADAM

Yeah, she's my old lady. She's the only one who could put up with me all these years, huh?

***REALLY thinking now about how Adam had an angel lover who kept him from going vengeful and murderous, and they just lived happily in love for 300,000 casually plotting to kill God as a side hobby***

NOW thinking about how Cain stopped killing when he met Collette (I won’t go into how she was basically Cain’s angel lover and the Cas/Collette parallel because you should know it by now, and there’s plenty of material out there if you don’t)

****thinking about how our crack-in-his-chassis angel Cas loved Dean. he wasn’t supposed to love, but he did anyway.

how he kept Dean sane for years and years like Seraphina kept Adam sane, how he was Dean’s Collette, how he helped cure him when he was a Demon, how he was the only reason This Dean and This Sam didn’t kill each other in this particular one of Chuck’s worlds, how he pulled Michael out of Dean when Michael eradicated all of Dean’s hope and trapped him -

thinking about how Dean showed Cas how to love because Dean Is Love.

thinking about how Cas loved.

thinking about how his actual confession of love led to this:

Just like Seraphina’s love kept Adam from vengeance, how Collette’s love kept Cain from murder.

THINKING ABOUT how Lucifer didn’t know how to love.  how he wanted to take Jack because he was his son.  how he wanted to be a dad.  how he wanted love.

thinking about Mi!Dam. 

thinking about specifically about “Since when do we get what we deserve?”

thinking about how the Lucifer/Michael fight happened ONLY AFTER CHUCK DISAPPEARED EVERYONE, INCLUDING ADAM - 

thinking about how it was only then that Lucifer and Michael carried  out the story charted for them by their abusive father - because they didn’t have love, Lucifer never having it to begin with and Michael no longer having Adam, the closest thing he would have had to love.  

so yeah, just thinking about that. 

Supernatural Is A Show.  A Show About Love. 

(and daddy issues)

[thisiswhatwereupagainst]

LITTLE KNOWN X-MEN VILLAINS--- THE RAVENS! A hidden race of psychic vampires that walks among humankind!

The Ravens are a group of vampire-like beings who appear in a story in X-Factor #54 and X-Factor #56-58. Their story stars Archangel, whom they try to make into one of their numbers. Like a lot of Marvel vampires, Ravens don’t drink blood (I think there was a Comics Code law against it for awhile or something, which is why so many Marvel vampires or vampire-like beings are energy-suckers instead?) but they do call themselves “vampires” as well as Ravens, as do others, and they have all the same other tropes---they live forever unless killed and the only means of death seems to be beheading or if they fail to keep their number at 24 through converting someone else if one is killed. They can’t be photographed, nor captured on film, and are weaker in sunlight. They can fly or levitate, and they can teleport by transforming into energy or mist (their true form) before reforming in their human shape elsewhere. They have super-strength that comes from the lives of all those that they have consumed, as the process adds the victims strength to their own. As for for they feed on instead of blood, they’re a very specific sort of energy vampire. They feed on the painful memories of human beings, seeking out people who are suffering great mental/emotional anguish from the bad things that happened in their lives, and sucking it out of them. Which would sound great if not for the fact that it KILLS the person and leaves nothing but a skeleton! They can do it partway, though---Azure, for instance, takes the memories from a businessman to get info on the stock market to fund his decadent lifestyle, which doesn’t kill the man but merely gives him a heart attack. The feeding process is traumatic; a mere touch from one was described by Beast as drawing up some of his worst memories as well as “like my soul was burning, like it was draining away into her hands” In order to find the best prey, Ravens can sense pain in others, sensing both a person’s suffering and their strength in their aura. It’s for this reason that Crimson, one of their number, is attracted to Archangel---she wanted a meal of horrible suffering, as well as seeking a warrior’s soul, for she had tired of feeding on the homeless and destitute. Archangel, who was going mad due to hallucinogens he had been exposed to, was reliving the memories of his torment at Apocalypse’s hand as well as other traumas, and this is what made her want to feed on him. But Crimson’s plans go beyond merely devouring Archangel; she manipulates another Raven, Azure, into going after him as a competition. Archangel kills Azure, just as Crimson hoped, which means. . . .the circle is broken. Another way that Ravens differ from traditional vampires is that, as previously mentioned, only 24 of them exist at any time. No more, no less. They spread out over the globe, but concentrate in major cities. There are six in New York alone, and they’re the named ones who star in this story. If one Raven is killed, as mentioned, they’ve got 24 hours to make a new one. And Crimson argues successfully to the others that Archangel should be the new one, that he proved his power and worth by killing Azure. In reality, her plan is that once Archangel is a Raven too, she’s going to use him to kill the others, and then drain him for herself, believing that his pain energy would give her the power to survive despite all the other Ravens dying. Naturally, this did NOT go as planned. Archangel beheaded her with his wings just as he had Azure, and when Cobalt’s head was crushed in the fight with X-Factor, the rest of the Ravens went up in literal smoke due to the circle being shattered beyond repair from too many members dying: “Ravens,-- creatures seemingly of flesh and blood-- implode, dissolve into their true form of shrieking, noxious mist” that shoots up out of the theatre roof en masse and dissipates on the wind. As a note, the ones in this tale are all named after colors (Crimson, Cerise, Cobalt,  Azure) or gems (Ruby, Beryl, Coral). The names are apparently unisex; Cerise and Beryl are used as names for women by humans, but the Ravens who bear those names are male. They also all hate each other, and are extremely petty, jealous, and competitive with one another. And yet, their hatred binds them together, and they will hang out in little packs to hunt with each other, as well as engage in little challenges with each other, such as pursuing the same prey, to pass the ennui of eternity. And killing each other isn’t an option, for previously mentioned reasons. As is common in vampire media, there’s an air of pseudo-bisexuality/homoeroticism/etc in the way that they talk about their prey, because the male Ravens will say things like “he’s not my type at all” or talk about how they wish they could “have” Archangel right now and things like that, and like. . . obviously they are talking about feeding on his energy, but the phrasing out of context sounds sexual if you don’t know that. The “Lesbian Vampire” trope actually does get averted for the female Ravens, but that’s probably just because this story happens to focus on a male target. And Crimson herself, despite her appearance of being the “seducer” type vampire lady, doesn’t really do that with Archangel---she never flirts with him or rubs on him or anything, nor ever seems like she’s actually attracted to anything but Archangel’s power and energy, and I like that. That said, her dialogue is fantastically campy AND vampy, saying/thinking things like  “I will use his fascination for things dark and deadly to bind him to me” But what I like most of all about them is, like so many vampires, they are DRAMATIC AS FUCK. They kidnap Archangel to make him one of them in a dark ritual and they do it in an abandoned, decaying theatre and STRAP HIM TO AN UPSIDE-DOWN ANKH while they chant in ancient long-dead languages and they drag Charlotte Jones towards him to be a human sacrifice as his first victim AN UPSIDE DOWN ANKH IN A DECAYING THEATRE Like. How Goth can you get? I love it. I love them. Ridiculous. I think the Ravens are really cool, and I like to think that the ones NOT involved in this story are still out there, despite the implication that the deaths of this bunch caused the circle to “shatter beyond repair” and that the others around the globe went up in literal smoke too. I like to think they didn’t though, that they made new Ravens, and twenty-four of them are out there still. I’ve also got a wild headcanon that they might be an offshoot of mutantkind descended from Selene. They’re not just energy vampires like her, they specifically take the memories of their prey, and part of Selene’s energy vampirism was that she too had the remember the entire life of those she absorbed. It doesn’t seem too wild to me to think that the first Ravens might have been her children or descendants, ancient as they are implied to be, and evolved into these completely new creatures over the long centuries who could convert others into their kind. We’ve actually seen that before---Bishop once stated that in his future there were a group called the Emplates, who resembled Emplate (another vampire-like mutant) and preyed on mutants. Since later it was discovered that Emplate can "infect" another individual with his powers, it makes sense that Emplate would be the progenitor of the group from Bishop's timeline. So, maybe it’s the same deal with Selene and the Ravens. To be clear, no connection in canon is ever made between the two, and the Ravens are NOT portrayed as being mutants or related to mutants in any way, but a race unto themselves, I just couldn’t help being reminded of Selene by them, both in how they feed and a lot of the things they say, the cruel and petty personalities they all have, the way they look at mankind, their ancient nature, etc. And like...I think it would make sense! Also:

Bobby: hey girlfriend, what is my type again? of woman? that I like? Opal: It’s me, that’s why we are together, see how that makes sense? Bobby: yes it does that is why I am with you, a woman, who I like I am starting to see why Bendis picked him to be The Gay One

[ghoulciifer]

Hi! I just saw your English exchange student headcanon and I was wondering if you could do a Irish exchange student headcanon? Like she's always messing, having a bit of the craic but one day the bakusquad accidentally eat a load of the food she was sent from her Nana and she just goes off because there's barely any Irish food in Japan and she misses it but bakuboy helps her out! Sorry if this is really specific! I think it would just be gas if that happened 🤣😂 Thank you so much!! 💕💞💗❤️

hc: the bakusquad eats irish!reader’s food from home, but Bakugou comes to the rescue.

tw: none

tags: irish!reader, bakusqaud tomfoolery, bakugou being the tsundere he is

notes: hi anon!! i’m so happy to hear that you enjoyed my british!reader headcanons. this request also required me to do some research because i honestly didn’t understand some of the terms you used AJAHSGAHAJJA again keep in mind i am VERY american so i apologize of any of this is off/inaccurate. also, this ended up being much longer than i intended so it’s not proofread :,) but i still really hope you enjoy!! i know i enjoyed writing it! thank you so much for your submission, and my inbox is still open for asks ❥

» just like i said in my british!reader hc, pretty much all of class 1-A befriended you at some point during your stay at UA, so when you decided to stay in japan it left you with some lifelong friends!

» ESPECIALLY the members of the bakusquad, literally cannot get rid of the fuckers (not that you want to, tho)

» and they absolutely love you! you’re an essential part of their group, they can’t imagine what their lives would have been like without you.

» they especially love that you still value your heritage, and they shut their mouths n’ open their ears every time you talk about it because they’re SO interested (especially bakugou but he won’t admit it ajdhsjahah)

» because you’re so in touch with your roots, you often talk about your family, your childhood, what it was like living there, etc.

» they lowkey feel bad when you get super homesick because they definitely begged you to stay after graduation, but you always reassure them you wouldn’t wanna have it any other way! they’re your home now!

» but it is especially sweet when you receive care packages from home, as much as you love it in japan you still like having a little piece of home with you

» so when your nana sends you snacks, trinkets, and all kinds of random shit she can stuff in a box? you CHERISH that shit

» every now and then you’ll share with your buddies but you NEVER show them your stash, bc you know they’re gonna be selfish especially sero n’ kaminari, stingy bastards

» they love the snacks almost more than you do, swear they’ve never tasted anything better in their lives

» even bakugou’s like “damn this shit IS good”

» but they’re yours! not theirs! it’s your own little secret taste of home that they wouldn’t be able to understand, so you keep that stash on LOCKDOWN

» but... what you didn’t account for was mina’s incredible snooping ability

» while you were on patrol one day, mina was cleaning up around your shared apartment with sero. halfway through doing her laundry she realizes she’s missing one of her favorite sweaters, which you borrowed about a week ago, so by that logic she takes advantage of your absence to go find it

» while she’s shuffling around in your closet something falls and bounces off her massive hair, landing next to her feet and as she investigates she instantly recognizes the packaging

» “SERO!! Y/N HAS MORE OF THOSE HUNKY DORY THINGS!”

» the speed in which sero reached your room rivaled iidas, istg

» “YOU MEAN THOSE GOD TIER CHIPS?”

» she frantically nods and immediately begins searching for more, finding the box you keep buried in the corner of the shelf of your closet

» their eyes are practically bulging out of their heads at the amount of snacks you’ve been hoarding; things they’ve had before, things they’ve never tried, it all looked so beautiful as their mouths instantly began to water

» the rational thing to do in this situation would be to put the box back and ask you about it later, right?

» nope

» they’re quick to call up the rest of the group and before you know it, they’re all surrounding the coffee table staring at a mountain of irish snacks

» bakugou and kirishima are surprisingly the ones trying to convince everyone to not eat them, because you probably had them stored away for a reason

» but after sero shoves a jam mallow into their mouth they’re definitely on board to chow down

» you finally come home after a long day of dealing with bs villains, feet aching, back sore, only to find your idiot friends devouring your sacred snacks

» apparently they never heard you come in because it takes a good minute before kaminari catches your fuming face staring right at him, arms crossed with your brows furrowed into a harsh V

» “so, uh... how was patrol?”

» you lost it

» “Oh, Jesus, Mary, and Joseph could ye be any more stupid, ye feckin’ melter?”

» suddenly all eyes are on you after you begin spewing some very irish insults with very expressive hand gestures, slipping between the two dialects you were fluent in with every angry breath that left your body

» toward the end of your raging you can’t even bring yourself to look at your guilt-ridden friends anymore, so you stomp off to your room and slam the door behind you before locking it

» the silence that follows almost hurts them more than the words you threw at them, and it definitely nearly brought mina and kaminari to tears. but they knew it was because they fucked up

» bakugou eventually grumbles something under his breath before hoisting himself off the floor

» “I’ll be right back, you assholes clean that shit up.”

» about an hour and a half later, after a much needed shower and change of clothes, you finally emerge from your room to grab a quick meal

» you’re still upset, but you at least want to apologize for the not-so-nice words that came out of your mouth during your little fit, so you figure now’s as good a time as any

» so imagine your surprise when you pass through the living room to find a pile of all the snacks you were pissed about missing moments ago

» the bakusqaud is all sprawled out on your sectional in wait for you, and when they see your surprise they jump from their seats to tackle you in a group hug

» apologies are coming in left and right as you giggle between the tangled mess of limbs surrounding you

» of course you forgive them, how could you not?

» as happy as you are at the moment you couldn’t help but wonder how the hell they pulled this off

» everyone catches your confused look and simply points at bakugou, who stuffs his hands in his pockets with a harsh ‘tch’

» “There’s a market across town that sells imported snacks, Deku told me about it weeks ago.”

» you smile uncontrollably at the thought of bakugou being so considerate and being the one to take initiative to right your friends wrongs

» so of course you rush forward to smother him in a hug of his own!

» he pretends not to enjoy it, but the blush covering his cheeks says otherwise 😌

[unicyclehippo]

Prompt if you want it, polymorphed cat/dog!Jester ends up spending the entire hour being fussed over by Beau who has no idea it’s Jester

It had been going really well, you know? And she’s done it dozens of times over now, changing her form or someone else’s so there’s really no trouble to it at all. Or. There shouldn’t have been any trouble to it at all.

Here’s the thing though: she’d been thinking first of all about changing into a big dog, like the ones they’d seen around town, specifically like the one she had seen wandering around on the outskirts of the market, and she had been thinking about that one in particular because it had had a lovely black coat at one point, she could tell because of the snout where it was sleek and black like their sweet and so, so ugly moorbounders, but it had rolled at some point or another in the grey yellow dust here in the city of beasts and so the rest of the coat was now this kind of coarse grey brown, but still a very handsome dog and also very clever because she had seen it wait for the shopkeeper to be distracted before it ran away with a whole fish! And that’s the dog she had been thinking about specifically, only it was just as she was casting it that she kind of wondered if maybe stealth was the thing, you know? And if maybe she should pick a smaller creature, something that would be good at being sneaky, like a cat! Except what if they ate cats around here? She didn’t want to make presumptions or anything but it was called the city of beasts for a reason (probably because of the beasts, let’s be real) and she hasn’t seen any cats around the place except for Frumpkin and as lovely of a cat as he is, he doesn’t count. And so she had gotten stuck, you see, between being a big dog and being a stealthy cat, and when the spell had taken effect she ended up as...this.

She’s not entirely sure what it is. Kind of a dog, kind of a cat. Her fur is mostly a sandy grey, but if she crosses her eyes she can see her about is black (though these eyeballs don’t enjoy crossing as much as her usual eyes) and that her paws are black up to the knees. Of which is has four. That’s a good sign—she’s definitely a creature of some kind. Looking into the smoky, somewhat reflective surface of the brilliant obviously Kryn building she has hidden beside, Jester can see that her form is squat and strong, with the big shoulders of a dog and a narrow cat-like face. Her tail is long and fluffy but the rest of her fur is short and sleek, besides a few tufts on the elbows. Jester spins to gnaw at one of them that dares to tickle and as she does, she can see—not in the poor reflection of the building but with her own eyes—that her fur is spotted and slashed with dark markings, like the patterns on Frumpkin’s coat and she has to laugh, realising that somehow she—or the Traveller—had turned her into some mix of a dog and a cat. The laugh surprises her, the way it feels in a creatures body—in a dog she might have whined, a cat might’ve flicked their tail, but this creature laughs a snickering high pitched laugh that seems oddly familiar, but Jester can’t quite place it.

It seems smart enough of a creature, luckily, and Jester trots out from the alley to find her friends. It takes no small amount of time—not because she has lost them but because the world is extraordinary like this. It unfolds around her in a hundred new and novel and wonderful scents—ones she might ordinarily have dismissed as bad, like the almost rotting fish and the manure shovelled from the stalls with buzzing flies working around them, aren’t bad. They’re interesting, complicated, and Jester has to keep reminding herself that she’s looking for something.

Right! Her friends!

Had they wandered off? Or had she?

She lopes back to the same alley, sure now that she had disappeared out the opposite end she had entered, and revels in the power in this creature—the lean, stocky form hosts powerful muscles that bunch and push and quickly she has eaten up the distance back to the alley and dashed through it—right into the legs of a human, who smells of sweat and dried blood, old meat and leather, of dry bark and dust.

‘Whoa, holy shit! Oh fuck—it’s—Fjord, pull me away, oh fuck,’

‘It’s not attacking you, relax.’

The human—Beau, of course—is accompanied by Fjord. He smells—and Jester knows this because she goes up to him and sniffs, entranced by everything her nose is telling her—he smells of the sea, still, despite their not having been back for weeks. His scent is heavy with brine, washing away most of any other scent that might stick to him, and she finds herself growling, not out of anger but of frustration. She wants to know!

‘Whoa, okay, nice doggy,’ Fjord yelps.

‘Ha! She hates you, Fjord, suck it!’

‘Ha ha, yes, very funny—now help me.’

‘Okay, okay, yeesh.’ Something soft wafts down before Jester’s face, grey and floaty, and she snaps out at it with interest. Before she can snag it, it is pulled below her and wraps neatly around her collar before rushing closed. A leash, Jester thinks, and as this creature, she rolls over and starts trying to gnaw at the fabric. Beau stands above her, a look of clear amusement on her face. ‘Aw, look at you, you’re cute! Hardly vicious at all, are ya?’ She rubs at the creatures belly with a foot, pulls it back with a bark of a laugh when the creature bites playfully. ‘You must have an owner or something. We could look for them while we’re looking for Jes,’ she says to Fjord, who agrees. ‘Also, she’s not a dog. She’s a hyena.’

‘Huh?’

‘She’s a hyena. They’re cool. Kinda weird, but cool. Matriarchal societies. Super powerful olfactory systems. Strong bite. Probably one of the coolest creatures that exist.’

Jester scrambles to her feet. She can feel her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, which has opened into a big grin—it must be scary, coming from a toothy beast like a hyena, but Beau doesn’t seem scared. Properly wary, for sure, but fascinated. Carefully, she reaches out a hand toward her and when Jester allows her to put a hand on her square, furred head, she hears a low,

‘Whoa. Very cool,’ from the other girl.

‘Looks like we won’t be looking for the owner, huh?’

‘I mean. It’d be super wrong. To steal someone’s hyena. When we’re trying to help out the place,’ Beau says, haltingly, clearly eager to take the creature and book it. ‘But if we just happen not to find the owner...’

‘Great. A dying weasel and a terrifying hyena. Perfect.’

//

Fjord and Beau make a great team. Jester already knew that, but to see them in action without having to take part is something special. Fjord butters up a few people. Threatens a few more with a surprisingly cold and terrifyingly genial demeanour.

Beau cracks her knuckles a few times, or backs him up in such a way that it’s like watching a good play, seeing them bounce increasingly horrifying threats between one another before lobbing one them at the person they’re interrogating.

Jester likes to think having a hyena sat at the humans feet helps too.

It’s getting near to the end of her hour, she’s pretty sure, when a fur-clad individual—half elven, maybe, with the wine dark skin of a dark elf—approaches with a toothy smile.

‘Ah,’ they sigh, ‘I see you found my majestic creature. How good of you to bring them back to me.’

The half-elf smells of dozens of creatures, and of some sharp chemical scent that makes Jester want to growl and back up, hackles raised.

‘Weird. Doesn’t look like she wants to go with you.’

‘It matters little if the creature wants to go with me,’ they say, in the way someone might speak to a child. If that person were, you know, a villain. ‘I bought them, they are mine.’

‘Got some papers to prove that?’ Fjord asks, accent a deeply fake drawl once more. ‘Friend,’ he tacks on, unfriendly like.

‘Papers, of course. I have them in my shop, around the corner. If you come with me, we can sort this out with no drama necessary.’

It’s obvious it’s rubbing Fjord the wrong way, and Beau has a hand buried into the scruff of the hyena’s neck possessively, suspicion and upset rolling off her scent in waves.

It could all be fixed, Jester knows, by transforming back into herself—but doing so even in a private area of the market would risk too many eyes on them, could be taken as a threat.

She growls, deep in her throat. Feels Beau scratch reassuringly at her beck, behind one of her ears. Jester flicks that ear and hunches down, starts to step slowly back toward an alley. Beau’s hand tightens and then loosens and when Jester pulls mightily away, she sees with some amazement and pride that Beau pretends rather remarkably to be a clown and an annoyance, pretending very well to fall when Jester runs, and then tripping the fur-coated poacher, as Jester guesses him to be.

The sounds of an argument rise up loud behind her as she sprints away, and the magic strips from her bit by bit until she is an ordinary tiefling once more. For an instant, the world seems a little dull—her hearing dulled, her sense of smell a fraction of what it had been—and then she sees the blue sky and, returning to the street, the blue of Beau’s coat, and the green and purple in Fjord’s clothes, and is happy to realise she can see colours again.

With the hyena missing and nowhere to be found, Jester and Fjord are able to diffuse the argument—though none of them like the way the poacher looks at Beau like they’d like to take her in the hyena’s place, a human rarity—and they hurry her back to the quarters awarded them by the lady of Asarius, meeting with their friends who had returned not but ten minutes earlier. Fjord tells them all about their largely unproductive afternoon, ending with a fight over the hyena—

‘It was Jester,’ Beau tells him.

‘What?’

‘The hyena. It was Jester, right?’ She crooks a grin over to her. ‘I mean, the hyena disappears and Jester finds us a hot second later? Too much of a coincidence.’

Under Fjord’s surprised attention, Jester plucks at her skirts and curtsies, fakes a blush. ‘Oh well, you’re welcome, yes, it was me,’

‘Holy shit!’

‘I know, right?’

‘Holy cow!’

‘Yah. Yeah. My thoughts exactly,’ Beau and Fjord say to one another, and Jester can’t help but grin under the attention. If she notices—and she does—that Beau’s eyes remain focused on her for long after Fjord’s attention is recalled, she doesn’t make a comment on it just yet.

‘You did great today,’ Beau tells her later, as they climb the stairs to their room.

‘I mean,’ Jester laughs. ‘I got lost at first.’

‘Yeah but it all worked out so... you did great.’

‘I guess so! Sucks we couldn’t find out who is doing that plot thing the author totally is interested in.’

‘Yeah, we’ll definitely pick that up tomorrow so it’ll be fine, though.’

‘Right.’ Jester nods. ‘They can smell super good,’ she tells Beau. ‘Hyenas. I could smell, like, everything, it was pre-tty wild.’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Mhm.’

‘That’s fuckin’ dope.’

‘I can turn you into one, if you want. I have one left.’

Beau’s eyes light up, but she shakes her head. ‘Another time. Maybe tomorrow, if we’re still hanging around the city. That’d be cool. Quick question, hopefully not weird—more of a comment than a question I guess but it wasn’t, like, weird that I was patting you, was it? Because I don’t want. To be weird.’

‘I mean, you’re being pretty weird now,’ Jester points out, because Beau isn’t quite stuttering but it sounds like she’s punching out the words through sheer force of will.

‘Okay, okay, fair,’

‘But I don’t mind. And didn’t mind.’

‘Okay.’

‘You’re still being weird, Beau,’

‘Yeah, it’s just because you’re like, super powerful and cool and brilliant and hyena’s are one of my favourite animals. Not that you knew that. It was like, one of those things where we had to research for hours in the archives when I was first starting out and I hated it but I read a whole compendium of animals from start to finish and now I’m rambling and,’

‘Is it because you’re covering for the fact that you called me cool and brilliant?’ Jester teases, and she isn’t sure what to do with herself when Beau grimaces and her cheeks burn with sudden colour. She doesn’t lie, or deny it. Which is. So so weird. And cool. And great, maybe. ‘I think you’re super powerful too,’ she blurts out, because she’s supposed to say something, and when Beau waves that away Jester frowns. ‘Really! And cool and so smart and you have beautiful hair and, and—‘

Oh Traveller, she remembers saying those words before, and the fluttering in her belly isn’t new but it is a lot more noticeable now. Beau laughs, smiles. Winks. Blows her a kiss, like she had that last time, obviously remembering the same moment. Jester flushes. Stammers for a second before pulling the door to their room open—stopping. Pushing the door to their room open.

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 1 - Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

A burning Christmas tree!

And the angel said unto them, fear not for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day another marathon of Christmas related movies and TV specials. As is tradition, we start by saying what a tradition it is to start the month with a horror. As we shall come to see, a not as serious Christmas Horror movie this time. Well, having said that, Silent Night Deadly Night is pretty silly at times. My horror tastes have a tendency to lean towards the silly anyway and I did do all 31 days this year so there’s perhaps less of a need to make up for lost time by extending it over in Christmas. Look, stop going on about it, it’s Anna and the Apocalypse.

It makes for a fairly obvious choice to open proceedings, it’s a Christmas zombie movie. What more do you want? Well, how about a musical? Yeah, this is like Nativity crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or more appropriately, High School Musical crossed with Shaun of the Dead. Or, as the marketing goes with, La La Land crossed with Shaun of the Dead. I think that movie is cursed to be forever associated with anything vaguely zombie related and comedic. It’s like the new ‘It’s Die Hard but…’

Anyway, we start with the eponymous Anna on her way to school with her bestie, John, and her dad who is the janitor at the school. This is meant to be a British film, I think you’ll find it’s caretaker, lousy Americanisation. I think this is more specifically Scottish made actually, whole bunch of English people around mind you but there’s a few Scots mixed in as well. I feel like there was a lot of Scottish made kids shows when I was growing up, I dunno if they just get good investment up there or if it’s like a tax or lottery thing or something?

There’s a total Michelle Keegan thing going on with the girl who plays Anna, not a bad thing since she is one of the most desirable women in the world.

The real star of the show here though is Paul Kaye as Mr Savage, a jobsworth assistant headmaster who we first meet warning off one of the students, Steph, who is running a piece on the school blog about the local homeless problem. Mr Savage points out that the local council set their budgets so it’s probably best if she drops the whole thing. When she threatens to go over his head to the more soft touch headmaster, we learn that he’s retiring next month and Mr Savage is taking over and things are going to be a lot different around here. Kaye is hamming it up a bit as Savage but in a more reserved way? He pretty much delivers every line in this very hushed but stern tone, it’s like he’s a villain in a cheap action film but he’s really just a teacher at a small school in Scotland.

We very quickly get our opening number ‘Break Away’, dealing with the problems that Anna, Steph and John are dealing with. Anna wants to get out of this town and see the world, John has an unrequited love for Anna and Steph feels abandoned by her parents who are on the other side of the world. It’s a powerful song that talks about wanting to be more and the girl playing Steph is really giving it socks and emoting. I don’t think they’re dubbing their voices or anything so fair play to her. They even work in some lyircs that tie into the whole zombie thing; “As I wake half dead in this same old bed at the dawn of another day”. It does catch you off guard though when you’re not expecting a musical.

This would work well as one of those deceptive genre bending movies you could trick someone into watching and be like ‘Boom, zombies!’ halfway through. At the very start there’s a radio piece that kinda spells it out before it’s cut off midsentence that talks about a supposed super flu that has now being discovered to cause ‘reanima-‘. But there’s little nods here and there otherwise that make it sort of cute like those lyrics or people theatrically clawing at a wall like a zombie.

The songs in the Christmas show don’t quite match up. They’ve probably got that whole non-demoninational thing to adhere to where they can’t sing about Jesus so instead they’ve got two break dancing penguins dancing to a fish rap. Yes, fish rap. “My favourite dish is fish, mother flipper, and I eat it for the hell of it!”

Then there’s Lisa’s song which is basically an attempt to seduce Santa. Think ‘Santa Baby’ but a bit more explicit. Like, she invites Santa over to ‘empty his sack’ at one point, that sort of thing. Then you have a bunch of backing dancers who are all topless and wearing short shorts. This is a high school production, right? Seems a bit risqué. Mr Savage seems to agree so too, though at first it just cuts to him saying ‘Filthy....salacious...’ whilst pulling these funny faces, almost like he’s getting some illicit thrill from all this. Thankfully he ends that thought with ‘and it must be stopped!’ before storming off.

Going back to the zombie movie in disguise thought, when we finally do get the zombies, the movie still plays dumb to the whole thing by having Anna and John walking to school whilst performing a musical number (Turning My Life Around) where they say they’re ‘miles away’ whilst being totally oblivious to the carnage unfolding behind them. This rather disturbingly includes a zombie eating the contents of a pram. It’s an amusing scene, the juxtaposition of this bright, upbeat song and these two cheery characters with no knowledge of all the death and destruction behind them. The song has a similar message to ‘Break Away’ but looked at from a slightly different perspective, much more optomistic and poppy.

Mr Savage’s breakout moment comes when everyone gets trapped in the school after the outbreak and they hear of evacuation plans that call for them to stay put and await the arrival of the army. The headmaster seems to be out of the picture and he revels in taking charge. But, when days past with no contact, everyone wants to head out and Savage has a bit of a run in with Anna’s Dad. Savage snaps before sulking off in a corner muttering that this is his school now, hearing zombies clattering at the door and seemingly having a ‘lightbulb above the head’ moment. I’ve made comparisons before to Dead Rising and how the proper movies based on it missed the ‘psycho’ characters. This right here is a psycho character, that sense of a rather mundane character being pushed over the edge in this apocalyptic situation. I’m thinking specifically here of the supermarket worker in the first game who thinks you’re looting and tries to run you down with his adapted trolley that has a bunch of pointy things stuck on it whilst screaming ‘THIS IS MY STOOOOOOOOOOORE!!!’.

Speaking of looting, Anna’s dickbag ex shows up to help her and her friends out of a jam with a trolley full of toys he’s ‘found’. Him and his friends arm themselves to take out a nearby hoard but I feel like only two of them are actually trying. He has his baseball bat and another guy puts knives in his hands like they’re Wolverine claws. I don’t know how useful knives are going to be, especially wielded like that, but at least he’s making a better effort than the other two who have a video game controller used like a mace and the last guy who has two watermelons. Okay, so we see a vaguely similar situation to this earlier in the movie in a bowling alley where someone squishes a zombies head in between two bowling balls so maybe that’s what this guy was thinking? Well, A) I don’t think that’s going to work with watermelons and 2) say it does, that’s only going to work once with watermelons because they’re going to explode. What’s your secondary plan once they’re done with? At least the guy with the bat can keep on swinging it.

This is the lead in to the ex’s song ‘Soldier at War’ which is really good as well. Between the delivery of the song and the way it’s acted physically, there’s this kind of sultry, seductive thing going on? Apparently Rocky Horror Picture show was an inspiration for this movie and I definitely get a Dr. Frank-N-Furter vibe from this.

They all eventually fight their way back to the school only to find Savage is just calmly eating his Christmas dinner. He points them in the direction of their parents, only to lock them in a room full of zombies. He even gets a villain song as they all struggle to survive, basically summarising that for too long he’s been held down but now it’s his time. There’s a fast paced energy to the song and, at the risk of making another Shaun of the Dead comparison, having it cut to shots of the kids fighting off the horde and the fact that it’s called ‘Nothing’s Gonna Stop Me Now’ makes me wonder if this wasn’t a conscious nod to the big climax at The Winchester.

Things come to a head when Anna tries to track down her Dad, only to find him tied up with Christmas lights on the stage with Mr Savage waiting for some sort of final showdown. I say showdown, it’s more a duet with Anna fighting off zombies and Mr Savage prancing about on stage trying on top hats and wrapping himself in tinsel like they’re cheap feather boas and he’s a fifty pence tart. There is a bit of fisticuffs between Mr Savage and Anna’s Dad in the end though and there’s even a call back to a moment from the start of the movie to serve as the final blow which is neat.

I was a little taken aback upon the revelation that this was a musical but it turned out to be really good fun. Just a really cool mix of genres with some good songs that are complimented at times with on screen theatrics. For the zombie portion of it, there’s some creative kills in one portion of the movie in the bowling alley but otherwise it resorts to blunt force trauma in order to ‘destroy the brain’. But the kills can be suitably over the top with a lot of blood splatter so that all adds to the cheese factor it’s got going on. It’s a suitable addition to the Christmas Horror or even just comedy-horror sub genres.

[geneticmisfit]

Okay, so, I had posted this before, but it was during my Identity Crisis and Waning Muse so it didn’t really stick. Not anymore. Basically RIP to MCU canon but we’re doing things differently here. 

Below you will find a numerous canon rewrites from Peter’s highschool years up to his post-graduation days, incorporating elements from the MCU movies, tv shows and games. No specific mentions on relationships and other characters unless it is necessary to the Narrative, because a lot of that tends to be extremely thread and partner based. We got it? Good.

ANYWAY ON WITH THE SHOW:

HIGH SCHOOL:

Freshman Year

-DECEMBER OF 2015 -Gains his powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider during a class trip to Doctor Curt Connors’ lab in Empire State University. -Spends the Christmas Break discovering and learning about his abilities, makes his First Suit out of some old pajamas.

-JANUARY 2016

-Being a kid and wanting to make a quick buck with his abilities, he enters a wrestling competition against Crusher Hogan.

-It’s the classic wrestling origin. Peter gets swindled out of money, a burglar steals money from the fight manager, Peter lets the Burglar go out of anger and spite for the manager. -Uncle Ben is murdered, Peter goes after the assailant and is horrified to discover it is the same Burglar he had let go earlier. -When you do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you. -Guilt stricken, he realizes the importance of Power and Responsibility and starts to fight crime, initially stopping small crimes, petty robberies, etc.

MARCH TO JUNE 2016:

-Rumors of an Insectoid-Man spread quickly throughout the underworld, it is initially believed to be a Lie made by crooks who want to dodge blame, but more and more YouTube videos of a man in a red and blue pajamas doing extraordinary feats quickly kills that possibility. -At the recommendation of his teachers, Peter starts interning at Connors’ Lab in ESU, it allows him to get a closer look at the kind of spiders that bit him, and leads him to discover that the irradiated spiders are a project Connors is working on under the funding of Oscorp. -During his crime fighting, he unknowingly halts several of The Big Man’s jobs. -Frequently swings into and stops the crimes of Alex O’Hirn and Flint Marko. -He runs into his first Out of the Ordinary Bad Guy when he ends up fighting Stilt-Man, instead of going for his legs he just punches him out cold.

CIVIL WAR INCIDENT - JUNE 26TH 2016

This is where the first of the several big canon rewrites comes in. For starters, the Airport Fight happens in New York instead of Germany, and Tony does not recruit Peter for his cause or give him the new suit. What happens is as follows,

-Peter sees the news of The Winter Soldier’s attack on United Nations. ( For the purposes of this rewrite, let’s say Bucky gets extradited to the U.S. for interrogation and trial and he is held in the same SHIELD base Steve woke up from his coma or whatever ) -Peter and Ned argue about Spider-Man not going for Stilt-Man’s legs during their fight. -Hearing the news of JFK suddenly closing down and rumors of people spotting ‘Very Serious Government People’ , Peter puts the two and two together and leaves abruptly, heading to the Airport in hopes of ‘Auditioning’ for the Avengers, because that’s what you do when you are a 15 year old with superpowers. -Beginning of the airport fight and Steve and Tony’s argument happens the same, majority of the fight happens the same way. -Peter, as Spider-Man, jumps into the fray during the Line Up. He immediately swings to Tony’s side because Iron Man is the hero he idolizes the most at that point in time. -Tony and Peter banter, with Tony not wanting a kid there and Peter being a dumbass kid and wanting to impress Tony. -Peter does not fight Steve, he is only there to take down Bucky and Prove His Mettle as a superhero. -The entire sequence with Bucky and Sam versus Spidey happens as shown. -Seeing Giant-Man appear and grumbling himself about the whole Stilt-Man argument still, Peter realizes he can go for Scott’s legs to take him down and does the whole AT-AT takedown move. -Gets knocked back onto the ground like in the movie, Tony goes to check on him to make sure this dumbass kid didn’t get himself killed, seeing he is alive and well, Tony is impressed but he tells Peter to go home. -Bedroom scene occurs as a post-credits scene, it becomes less about Tony recruiting Peter to his side and more about figuring out what the deal with this Spider-Man Kid is, leaves the suitcase with the Stark Suit as he leaves, says they’ll be in touch.

HOMECOMING - END OF AUGUST - SEPTEMBER 23RD 2016 / SOPHOMORE YEAR

-Peter turns sixteen in August 10th. -The movie happens largely the same -a Film by Peter Parker and the Limo Conversation naturally doesn’t happen considering the afromentioned changes to Civil War. -Tony does not save Peter from drowning, Peter gets out of the lake on his own.     Reason for this change is that this scene makes Tony way controlling and uncaring towards Peter? Which, compounded by the following scenes, really paints Tony in an awful light. It also makes it more impactful that the next time, and thus the first time, Peter properly interacts with Tony since Civil War is in the direct aftermath of the Ferry Fiasco when Tony comes to collect the suit. They are then both valid in their arguments in that Peter has let the Stark Suit’s abilities get to his head and act way reckless than he should, ( Stark Suit thus serving the same narrative purpose as the Symbiote Suit ) but it also makes Peter valid in that Tony has been completely ignoring Peter ( at least on the surface / from Peter’s point of view ) until it was too late. -Rest of the movie unfolds as shown. -Toomes is Peter’s first proper Super Villain.

OCTOBER 2016 - MAY 2017

-Toomes’ arrest causes his Alien Weapons empire to fracture and for alien tech to be more readily available to the highest bidder ( In the movie it seems like Toomes really wanted the sales to be more gradual and under the radar ) -Shocker breaks away from Toomes’ crew and ends up joining the Enforcers, working for Hammerhead, who works as the Right Hand Man for The Big Man. -Spidey’s encounters with the Enforcers leads Peter to learn about the existence of The Big Man. -Phineas Mason is still at large, Peter dubs him ‘ The Tinkerer behind Toomes ’ toys ’ because he does not directly know who he is but highly suspects his existence. -A Mysterious Benefactor starts bankrolling experiments for Super Mercs, armed with the alien tech, with the, initial, goal of ‘distracting’ Spider-Man from the Finer details of The Big Man’s organization (if he’s too busy fighting Super Villains, he’d be too busy to stop Illegal Shipments ya kno). -Alex O’Hirn undergoes the procedure to become the Rhino, having the experimental alien armor fused to his skin, and only able to perspirate through his face. It is due to this fact Peter manages to take him down the first time, ‘ overheating ’ him to get him to pass out. -During this incident, Spidey gets Rhino to spill the identity of the Big Man, one L. Thompson Lincoln, aka Tombstone. -It is also during this time Spidey has his first run-in with Captain George Stacy. -He goes to visit Tombstone to tell him he knows about him, promptly gets his ass kicked and high-thwips it out of there.

THANOS INCIDENT - MAY 2017

Welcome to the Big Canon Rewrite Number Two, here, Peter does not go to Titan. First part of his appearance happens as shown, with Peter seeing the giant Q ship up in the sky and sneaking out of the bus to help Tony and co. fight the Aliens, but after losing Strange to the ship’s tractor beam, he stays on Earth and helps with the clean-up in the aftermath. Maybe even bumping into a few Defenders while doing so wink wink nudge. As a result, he does not get the Iron Spider-Man suit, sorry Marvel’s toy department.

ENDGAME - DATE UNKNOWN

Okay here’s the deal, it literally does not matter how long it has been since they’ve been blipped. Literally anyone important to a plot has been Conveniently Snapped, only reason there is a five year jump is so they can age Cassie so she can become Stature in Ant Man 3, and have Tony have a family for the Drama of it. Literally that’s the only reason, there is a reason why Far From Home makes a joke out of it. So for the purposes of sanity, let’s just say they were snapped throughout the duration of the summer and they conveniently get brought back at the beginning of the school year. -This means Peter is a part of the Final Fight but in his Stark Suit instead of the Iron Spidey suit, he also does not activate Instant Kill (why the FUCK would he, Russos!!!!!) I don’t care either way about the hug, so that’s up in the air, but he definitely does not cling onto Tony’s body lmfao nah. It is nevertheless very upsetting and near-traumatic for him to see someone die in front of him (again!)

JUNIOR YEAR

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2017

-Peter is now seventeen. -And he’s got PTSD like a motherfucker lmfao. -Getting turned into dust and coming back has everyone rattled, so the Criminal Underworld is working overtime. - Captain Stacy comes to Midtown to teach about Criminology, and also to keep an eye on his kid considering the circumstances. -Silvio ‘Silvermane’ Manfredi, head of the Maggia, is also due to be released on parole by the end of the year, so various Mob factions are trying to prepare themselves. -As a result, schematics to make more Rhino-like people hit the market, Spidey and O’Hirn actually end up teaming-up together to destroy the schematics, resulting in a three way fight between them, Hammerhead, and the Manfredi mob. -Hammerhead’s recent repeated failures shakes Tombstone’s faith in him. -The Enforcers get fancy schmancy Combat Enhancement Suits, courtesy of The Tinkerer, and Spidey has to deal with them. -Hammerhead stops the Enforcers’ getaway attempt in secret, signaling a rift between him and Tombstone. -Manfredi is released right before Christmas.

JANUARY 2018

-The Gang War™ begins in full force. -Spidey’s hands are full navigating the powder keg of a situation, with Tombstone and Manfredi vying for control, with Hammerhead planning something behind the scenes.

FEBRUARY 14TH 2018 -Hammerhead arranges a meeting of the factions in Metropolitan Opera House, without Tombstone’s knowledge. -Once revealed, Tombstone does not take kindly to this disobedience. -Hammerhead reaches his breaking point and attacks Tombstone. -Silvermane decides to take both of them out to eliminate the competition fully. -Silvermane, in a mechanical combat suit of his own (because comics bebey) attacks Tombstone and Hammerhead, resulting in a three way fight. -Spidey arrives and has to fight the three of them. -After a long and exhausting battle, Spidey prevails, Silvermane is arrested once again, L. Thompson Lincoln is publicly revealed to be The Big Man of Crime, and Hammerhead is nowhere to be found. -Tombstone posts bail, but Captain Stacy tells Spidey that his crime empire is crippled and there is a power vacuum. One that a certain Wilson Fisk will take advantage of soon.

LATE FEBRUARY - JUNE 2018

-Spidey is basically doing clean-up duty in the aftermath of the Gang War™ -He is trying to find where Hammerhead is, but comes up empty. -All Spidey can find are the rumors that he went back to his old employment under the Maggia. -He takes down last of the known Manfredi fronts before preparing for his Europe trip (it’s the restaurant fight from the FFH trailers)

FAR FROM HOME - JUNE 2018 -Happens largely the way it is depicted in the movie -He does not have the Iron Spider Suit still, in case you forgot. -Smaller differences being Peter being pegged the ‘New Iron Man’ less because of his ‘Mentorship’ under Tony and more because people are just fucking desperate for a new Big Hero, which is where Mysterio comes in. -He sees Ben’s grave instead of Tony’s during the Mysterio Fun Tour of Trauma, Zombie Iron Man still comes out of it tho because Symbolism ( not because Tony is a new Uncle Ben figure, but because it represents Peter not always being able to save everyone, even though Tony’s condition was out of his hands.) -BIGGEST DIVERGENCE: Unless plotted, I generally DO NOT recognize Peter’s identity being outed. There are two options / variations I could go with                    -Peter IS claimed to be Spider-Man, but after a Movie’s worth of adventures, he enlists the help of either a skrull or Chameleon (Dmitri the Bus Driver in FFH) to have Spidey appear in the same room as Peter and re-establishes his secret identity.                    -Mysterio just brands Spider-Man as a menace and that’s that. In any case, this leads to..

SENIOR YEAR

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2018

-Peter turns eighteen. -Branded as a menace, Spider-Man is now disliked and hunted by most authorities. -Captain Stacy, however, does not believe Mysterio and is one of Spidey’s few friends still left in the police force. -He also makes numerous remarks towards Peter and Spider-Man that suggests he figured out his secret identity on his own. -Anastasia Kravinoff arrives in New York with the intention of Hunting Spider-Man. -At the same time, Mac Gargan is hired by The Mysterious Benefactor to undergo the Super Merc procedure to hunt Spider-Man. -Kraven has her first encounter with Spidey, in which she manages to tear off a piece of his suit that she later uses to track his scent. -Mr Harrington’s class trip to Bronx Zoo is promptly ruined when Kraven shows up tracking Spidey’s trail. -The publicized skirmish in the Zoo attracts the attention of Gargan, now in a mechanical suit with a long, poison-tipped tail, stylized after Gargan’s favorite arthropod, which easily earns him the nickname ‘Scorpion’. -Spidey manages to escape, but barely. -It all comes to a head in New York Botanical Garden is a totally epic final showdown. -Maybe Rhino gets involved too and it’s a full on Survival of the Fittest in the jungle. -Peter gets stung by the poison tail but manages to shake it off. -He gets speared in the thigh at least once during the battle. -Scorpion and Rhino get imprisoned in the Vault, Kravinoff gets arrested as well but she posts bail and gets out scot free because she’s got Powerful Connections™

JANUARY - MAY 2019

-Doctor Connors achieves a breakthrough on his Cross-Species formula -He tests it on himself, and initially achieves great results by regrowing his arm. -Over the following weeks, however, more and more side effects start to show by patches of green scales on his skin, increased aggression and hostility and occasional lapses in intelligence. -Around March, he has his first Lizard transformation. -Peter suspects it’s Connors, but he does not figure it out until April. -With each transformation, Connors stays as Lizard longer and longer. -I am basically ripping off the plot of the first TASM movie. -Peter and Gwen manage to synthesize an antidote. -Connors has a similar goal as to his movie counterpart, but he decides to Unleash the Lizard virus on top of Empire State Building. Because a) King Kong reference with Lizard climbing the antenna, and b) Connor going from Empire State University to Empire State Building, it’s a fun progression. -Spidey and Lizard fight on top of Empire State, with George Stacy coming to Spidey’s aid. -Spidey manages to administer the antidote to the Lizard, reverting him back to Connors who retains no memories of his actions as the Lizard. -Stacy gets injured by Lizard and before succumbing to his injuries, tells Peter to keep Gwen safe and ‘out of it’. -Lizard’s true identity remains unknown to the public, but Connors decides to relocate his family to Florida to get away from the noise of the city. Before leaving, he tells Peter to seek out his old colleague Otto Octavius if he wants to further his studies.

END OF MAY 2019

-Peter Parker graduates Midtown School of Science and Technology. -He applies and is accepted by Empire State University. Peter does not consider any other college as he wants to stay in New York for obvious reasons.

FRESHMAN UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2019

-Peter is nineteen. -He starts his studies in ESU -He is still not the Most Popular -Peter reconnects with Harry Osborn (they are Old Childhood friends and Harry used to be in Midtown for the first year but then he went to Europe, as you do.) -Spidey is still branded as a menace and hunted, though not as ferociously as before as the public’s opinion starts to turn positive ever so slowly. -The Mysterious Benefactor has Alistair Smythe build robotic spiders to hunt and slay the Spider. Like Spider Slayers. Catchy name huh. -Peter has various encounters with Slayers while trying to figure out who is behind them -He eventually discovers it’s Alistair Smythe and tracks him to Oscorp. -Smythe unleashes the Ultimate Spider-Slayer, The Black Widow to try and stop Spidey once and for all. -Fight spills to the power plant, an Oscorp employee who is currently working on the plant, Max Dillon, gets caught in the crossfire and gets electrocuted. -Spidey manages to take down Smythe, Dillon is hospitalized. -Norman Osborn publicly denounces and distances himself from Smythe ( he’s The Mysterious Benefactor if you haven’t caught on yet ) -Norman profits both from making Super Mercs and Spider-Hunters for various factions behind the scenes, and for building housing units to hold said Super Mercs and Spider-Hunters, Vault is his creation. -He is also a terrible dad, but he does genuinely care for Harry, go figure. -Harry starts taking Gloublin Green, an experimental enhancer, to boost his academic and athletic life, as his body is regularly failing due to a hereditary disease (NOT the Goblin disease, the one Harry’s mom had in the PS4 game) -Max spends Christmas in the hospital and gradually transforms into Electro. -Black Cat drops in to give her Christmas Greetings by saying the mob is salvaging the parts from Spider-Slayer fights to re-arm themselves, also notifies him to the existence of a new Big Man consolidating power. -Peter thinks it’s Hammerhead, the only loose end from the previous Gang War, and starts his investigation into him. -Peter discovers Hammerhead leads the Maggia now, having quickly climbed through the ranks after the fallout of the last Gang War.

JANUARY - MAY 2020

-Harry joins the ESU football team, his performance enhanced by The Green. -Electro is Born and he’s Angry -He blames Smythe for his condition and tries to attack Oscorp, not knowing that Smythe is imprisoned. -Spidey arrives and fights him, fight eventually spilling to Times Square -Is it obvious I’ve started ripping off TASM 2 yet or…. -Electro is arrested and sent to Ravencroft for rehabilitation. -The news of a new Big Man starts making the rounds. -Harry’s Green Juicing gets bad, he starts blacking out.

SOPHOMORE UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER 2020

-Peter is twenty. -He starts interning for Otto Octavius after Doctor Connors’ suggestion. -Flint Marko returns after a long absence in the streets, Spidey learns that Marko left the life of crime when he fell in love and got married, but returned back into it once he learned his baby was born with a disease and he needed the money for surgery. -Bet you didn’t expect me to rip off Raimi in this. -Marko is offered money to undergo a Super Merc experiment of his own, inspired by the Elementals Mysterio faked back a few years ago. Experiment uses bio-electricity generated by Electro, but it goes ‘wrong’ and Marko is turned to dust. -Sike he can control it, he’s Sandman now. -Spidey and Sandman fight, once Peter learns of his motives, he tries to get him to stop. -Marko is told to stop the movement of an oil tanker so the new Big Man can siphon it dry. -Spidey and Marko fight on the tanker, tanker explodes, Marko expresses remorse for he only wanted the money and not to hurt anyone, so he helps usher the ship crew to safety and contains the explosion, turning into glass due to the heat. -Sandman is presumed deceased, but he survived and just blew away gently in the wind. -Maybe he’s out there somewhere who knows.

JANUARY - MAY 2021 -Norman discovers Harry’s Green Usage, he gets Harry to stop. -Stupid boy drinking the Green instead of inhaling it like his dad did I mean what -Harry discovers the Green exacerbated the progression of his illness. -Spidey meets Yuri Watanabe, who is the lead detective and later Captain who is after the Big Man and the Mob. -Peter discovers the identity of the actual new Big Man, it’s Wilson Fisk, quickly filling the power vacuum after Tombstone’s defeat. -Spidey and Fisk fight, with Fisk seriously injuring Spidey and him having to swing away.

JUNIOR UNDERGRAD

September - December 2021

-Peter is twenty one. -As Harry’s illness progresses more and more, he and Peter’s friendship is strained, Peter is unaware of the illness.   -Norman starts winding down Super Merc experiments as he turns his focus into curing Harry. -He also readies for a mayoral run because he’s nothing if not a multitasker. -Harry wonders if Spider-Man’s abilities can cure him, wants a bit of his blood, Spidey is like ‘ew no wtf’ -Great Harry hates Spidey now. -Desperate, Harry springs Electro out of Ravencroft to sic him on Spidey and make him bleed. -Electro is like ‘Sure’ but once freed, he immediately goes to the Vault to try and kill Smythe. -You just can’t trust bio-electrical beings nowadays. -Spidey fights Electro in the Vault. -Electro cuts the power to the Vault and releases a bunch of inmates, but Spidey stops him before he can cut the power that holds the more super powered inmates. -Electro is imprisoned in the Vault.

MARCH - MAY 2020 -Yeah Peter had a quiet winter for once can you believe it. -Norman is elected mayor of New York, using his role in the building of the Vault to boost his approval ratings, motherfucker was playing the Long Game. -Norman revives his old genetic experiments to find a cure for Harry. -Devil’s Breath experiment is resurrected. -Harry’s condition worsens, Norman decides to send him to ‘Europe’ to heal. -In truth, Harry is in Oscorp in ‘stasis’. -Spidey’s attention turns yet again to the rising gang activity, he channels his focus into taking down Fisk.

SENIOR UNDERGRAD

SEPTEMBER 2020 - MAY 2021

-Pete turns twenty two. -He spends most of the year working on his thesis like a good nerd. -Spidey is occasionally tipped toward Fisk fronts by a Mysterious Goblinafactor -Norman wanted to bust into the Crime Scene being the Goblin and taking over the Big Man’s turfs but Fisk beat him to it so he has to be content with just being the Mayor for the time being -Goblins am I right. -He’s also the one who supplied Silvermane with his own armor. -Also the one who maaaay have broadened the rift between Hammerhead and Tombstone by sabotaging Hammerhead’s plans behind the scenes. -He is the Big Man behind the Big Men if you will. -Anyway back to Peter -Turns in his thesis, graduates ESU. Strength of his thesis is what convinces Otto to have Peter also come into work with him in the Brand New Octavius Industries. -Norman is content to just play the Mayor and let Fisk be as Spidey and Yuri gather more and more evidence.

POST-GRAD / INSOMNIAC’S SPIDEY STUFF -Events of the game happen broadly the same -Fisk is taken down, Mister Negative enters the scene, Devil’s Breath Incident happens and Spidey gets his ass thoroughly kicked by Sable, etc. etc. -Otto turns into Ock. -Ock facilitates the Vault Breakdown (MCU got a Raft up and running and it ain’t in NYC sooo, Vault it is) and forms the Sinister Six. -However instead of Vulture being part of the Sinister Six, it’s Kraven. She’s back for a proper rematch. -Unless plotted, May does not die from exposure to the virus, she just gets really messed up and hospitalized, but she gets cured later. -Events of the DLC happen largely as shown as well, Hammerhead techs himself up, Yuri goes Wraith, Sable kicks Spidey’s ass again but also grows a Heart. Aw. -Osborn resigns in disgrace, but as luck would have it, Fisk and Li’s arrest leaves a nice Goblin-shaped hole in the criminal underworld for Gosborn to fill. -Norman discovers Harry’s ‘cure’ is sorta sentient.

WILL GORMAN GOSBORN FINALLY FACE OFF WITH SPIDER MAN? WILL SPIDEY LEARN THE REAL MASTERMIND BEHIND EVERYTHING? WILL HARRY GET GOOPED? WILL PETER FINALLY DISCOVER WHY KIDS LOVE THE TASTE OF CAP’N CRUNCH?

ALL THAT AND MORE, NEXT TIME ON, THE SPECTACULAR ADVENTURES OF THE AMAZING SPIDER MAN!

[charminglatina]

Riverdale Characters as Tropes (Part II) ⭐️.

#9. Hiram Lodge (Main Trope: Fiction 500; Secondary Tropes: Big Bad, Evil Overlord, 0% Approval Rating, The Don, The Patriarch, Bad Boss, Corrupt Corporate Executive, Magnificent Bastard, Sharp Dressed Man, Badass In A Nice Suit, Man Of Wealth And Taste)

Fiction is loaded with Wish Fulfillment, and being rich enough to bend reality is one of them. These are characters whose wealth is almost impossible to quantify. More Money Than God is the bare minimum. Now this could happen in Real Life, like royalty who owned literally thousands of Pimped Out Dresses, or a man in India who built a private skyscraper for his family, staff, and fleet of cars, or Marcus Licinius Crassus, who had three times as much money as Bill Gates and personally funded the reconstruction of the Roman army. But in fiction, that's on the lower end of this scale. Stuff that generally does not qualify you to be a member of the Fiction 500: Big Fancy House, Cool Chair, Cool Boat, Cool Plane, Cool Car, Battle Butler, Maid Corps, or even simply having assets in the billions.

Stuff that generally does qualify you to be a member of the Fiction 500:

You have become a cultural symbol for absurd wealth, and the story leaves no doubt your reputation is completely justified.

You routinely spend money on a scale normal super-rich people might do once or twice in a lifetime, whether it be major investments or mere Conspicuous Consumption. If a real amount is given, even if in the hundreds of millions, or billions, it's chump change to these characters.

You personally fund projects associated with major corporations, governments, aliens, etc. This includes Crimefighting with Cash.

You have the resources of a global superpower without yourself ruling a global superpower.

You personally fund projects that apparently break the rules of physics using only wealth and the Rule of Cool, or sometimes Rule of Funny. In other words, Screw The Universe; I Have Money! But if some other convenient fictional trope makes something possible, it doesn't count. You don't buy sound in space when Space Is Noisy. It's not impressive to have Infinite Supplies when everyone else does. Building a Humongous Mechais not noteworthy when any random scientist can make five in a weekend.

You're surprised to discover your latest project's market success has not increased your net income because you have a monopoly on the product it's competing with.

You can do any of the above without leaving a paper trail or an electronic footprint. Many of these Fiction 500 rich characters operate either clandestinely or under a secret identity, especially if they are Crimefighting with Cash, The Chess Master or Evil Mastermind types. They must have methods for secretly diverting hundreds of millions or billions of dollars to their schemes (like building that army of Mooks, Elaborate Underground Base, Bat Cave, or Batmobile) while making it seem like a legit and legal expenditure or keeping it out of the books. It should be noted that even if a character uses their personal fortune, these transactions would still typically have to show up somewhere when tax time comes.

Now personality doesn't really matter. You could be a Rich Bitch or Uncle Pennybags. You could be a law abiding citizen and even be Batman, or instead think you can screw the rules. Name is based on the top 500 grossing companies annually compiled by "Fortune" Magazine. And despite the name implying otherwise, there can be any number of characters here. Also, there is almost no way to objectively rank them, although Forbes tries with their "Fictional 15" list. Compare Arbitrarily Large Bank Account, Conspicuous Consumption, Undisclosed Funds, Organization with Unlimited Funding, and N.G.O. Superpower. For real people who are considered the richest in the world, see The World's Billionaires, an annual ranking made by Forbes (which has its own article on The Other Wiki, BTW).

The cause of all bad happenings in a story. A Big Bad could be a character with Evil Plans or it could be an omnipresent situation, such as a comet heading towards the Earth. In a serial story, the Big Bad exerts an effect across a number of episodes, even an entire season. This trope is not a catch-all term for the biggest, ugliest villain of any given story. In fact, it doesn't have to be a villain at all, as we just said. If it is a villain, though, it should be identified correctly; the badass leader of the outlaw gang that causes the most personal trouble is not the Big Bad. The railroad tycoon who is using the gang as muscle is the Big Bad. The Man Behind the Manis very common for this trope, leaving the reveal of the big bad as The Chessmaster behind it all and proving themselves far more clever and resourceful than the Villain of the Week. Sometimes the Big Bad is the grand enemy of an entire franchise as an Overarching Villain. At other times, the Big Bad is an Arc Villain who causes trouble for a period of time only to be replaced by another Big Bad. When you look at a season-long story or a major Story Arc and you can identify one problem being the cause of everything, that is the Big Bad. In its most general form, a Big Bad will be at the center of the Myth Arc rather than just any Story Arc. The term "Big Bad" was popularized in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was characteristic of Buffy's Big Bads for their identity or nature, or even the fact that they are the Big Bad at all, to remain unclear for a considerable time. Occasionally, characters would even refer to themselves as "the Big Bad". Whether or not they were, though, this is a Big Bad Wannabe. The structure of Buffy placed the Big Bad as being crucial to the Half-Arc Season, half the episodes are filler dealing with unrelated enemies while the other half involved the ongoing Myth Arc with the Big Bad. Each season can easily be defined by who the Big Bad was. If a show has a series of Big Bad jeopardies, they can function like a series of Monsters of the Week that take more than one week to finish off. If there is a Legion of Doom, you can expect the Big Bad to be involved somehow. They're probably sorted by power, with the strongest for last, following the Sorting Algorithm of Evil. Evil Overlord, Diabolical Mastermind, The Chessmaster, Arch-Enemy, The Man Behind the Man, and often Manipulative Bastard are specific types of villains who are liable to show up as Big Bads. If they're a Magnificent Bastard or Hero Killer, the good guys are in big trouble. The heroic counterpart of this character is the Big Good, who will very often be the focus of this character's attention over The Hero at the beginning of a series. If a work of fiction is conspicuously lacking a Big Bad, it may be a case of No Antagonist. See also Big Bad Duumvirate for two (or more) Big Bads working together. Sometimes a Big Bad will get their start as a servant to another villain — if that's the case, they're a Dragon Ascendant. If the character who fills the role of Big Bad in most meaningful ways is nominally subordinate to someone else (someone significantly less menacing by comparison), they are a Dragon-in-Chief. If the story has many Big Bads at once who don't work together, see Big Bad Ensemble. The Big Bad Shuffle occurs when there are multiple candidates for the Big Bad position. If the Big Bad doesn't start out as bad but develops over the course of the story, it's Big Bad Slippage. If the Big Bad of one section of a work doesn't die on being defeated and stays around as a character in a different plot role (reformed or not), that's Ex-Big Bad. The Big Bad of a story is not always the most powerful or oldest existing evil force. Perhaps an evil presence along the lines of an Eldritch Abominationovershadows the work's setting, but is mainly divorced from the story's events — that would be the Greater-Scope Villain.

#10. Hermione Lodge (Main Trope: Femme Fatale; Secondary Tropes: Iron Lady, Proper Lady, Spicy Latina, Gold Digger, Corrupt Politician, Grande Dame, Silk Hiding Steel, The Woman Wearing The Queenly Mask, God Save Us From The Queen, Sugar-And-Ice-Personality)

First, she turns you on. Then, she turns on you. The typical client in a Hardboiled Detective story (French for "fatal woman," idiomatically "woman to die for"). You know the type. Dressed all in black with legs up to here and shady motives, she slinksinto the PI's office, sometimes holding a cigarette on a long, long holder, saying "Oh, Mr. Rockhammer, you're the only one who can help me find out who killed my extremely wealthy husband." Did she do it? Do I care? Wait, where'd that saxophone music come from? Whatever her story is, whether she did it or not, she's definitely keeping some secrets. The Femme Fatale is sexy and she knows it. Made famous by Film Noir and hard-boiled detective stories, she manipulates and confuses The Hero with her undeniable aura of sexiness and danger. Unlike the virginal and sweet Damsel in Distress (or possibly Action Girl), the Femme Fatale exploits with everything she's got to wrap men around her finger. (In some eras, use of make-up is a tell-tale sign.) He knows that she's walking trouble and knows much more about the bad guys than she should, but damn it if he can't resist her feminine wiles. If the Femme Fatale is vying for the hero's romantic attentions she will likely have a sweeter and purer rival. The hero might decide that she's not worth the trouble she causes, but if he doesn't, then they might become an Outlaw Couple. While related to The Vamp, the Femme Fatale is not just any seductress; she has a distinct look and feel. The main distinction is how she presents herself. If you know she's dangerous from the start, but she's sexy enough that you don't care, she's likely a Femme Fatale. On a lesser note, the Femme Fatale generally uses sensuality instead of upfront sexual advances. She may implythat you could have sex later, but she'll never promise it, not even say it—that would decrease her air of mystery and power. Her wiles may include apparent helplessness and distress, and appeals to the man's greed, desire for revenge, or gullibility, as well as the implication of possible romance or sexual rewards, while The Vamp more often reliances on raunchy sex or the promise of it sometime real soon. The Femme Fatale is generally villainous, and heroic exceptions—in an artificial context to snare the bad guy—are closer to Heroic Seductress. Frequently, she is a Wild Card, changing sides according to her own desires and goals; she does not often go through a High-Heel–Face Turn. If she's actually a kind-hearted person who puts on this facade just for fun, this is Trickster Girlfriend. She's often the Lady in Red but possibly dressed like everyone else so as to not be Colour-Coded for Your Convenience. The Femme Fatale is one of the female character types that can often be seen wearing High Class Gloves, especially in conjunction with her sexy evening gowns, and, during the daytime (particularly in old Film Noir movies), is often seen wearing a "fascinator" or "pillbox" hat with a partial- or full-face veil. She's definitely not above using the Kiss of Distraction. If she can fight, too, then she's really going to be trouble. Subtrope of Manipulative Bastard. The younger version of this is the Fille Fatale. The spy version of this is Femme Fatale Spy.

#11. FP Jones (Main Trope: The Casanova; Secondary Tropes: Action Dad, The Alcoholic, Alcoholic Parent, The Good King, The Quarterback, The Sheriff, Dirty Cop, Reasonable Authority Figure, Jaded Washout)

The (legal, and less repulsive than the better-known types) sexual predator — a man who relentlessly pursues, lands, loves, and then abandons members of the opposite sex, a skill bestowed upon him to demonstrate what a badass he is. Sometimes comic, sometimes a monster, always successful, this character leaves behind a string of broken hearts, and occasional vows ofrevenge that are rarely fulfilled. Casanova's only motivation is indulging his lust and desire, sating them with the bodies of his conquests.

This trope tends to suffer from three double standards when portrayed in media;

The first is that the Casanova is always male, given that women are usually shamed for having an active sex life. The comparatively rarer female version is an "aphrodite", but she’ll likely be portrayed as an evil character who exploits her sexuality to manipulate innocent men. The womanizing skills of the Casanova, on the other hand, will almost always be granted to him to make him look like a champion.

This trope also applies almost exclusively to straight men, given that queer people with an active sex life are usually villainized in media. Meanwhile, straight men get to be portrayed as badasses for having multiple women at their beck and call. Bisexuals or demisexuals are even rarer, though not unheard of; for example Oberyn Martell.

The Casanova trope is also usually only applied to Caucasian/white men. Non-white men having, expressing or giving into their sexual desires is often portrayed negatively or Played for Laughs. Also, while white male Casanovas being with non-white women is generally portrayed as fine, men of color are often limited in a work to dating, having sex, marrying or even flirting only with women of the same nationality or skin color as them. If they do have a romantic relationship or sexual encounter with a woman of a different nationality or skin-color, it is usually held in scorn by some in-universe (and sometimes out-of-universe, unfortunately).

Contrast with the unsuccessful Casanova Wannabe. Compare with the inexplicable Kavorka Man. A guy who gets the girls like a Casanova, but unintentionally, is a Chick Magnet. If kind-hearted, may overlap with Chivalrous Pervert. The Charmer is equally charming but less sex-obsessed. If they really get around but want to settle down, it's Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places. A Handsome Lech has more negative connotations and a sparser scorecard than the Casanova. The trope is named for Giacomo Casanova (1725-1798), a soldier, spy, diplomat, adventurer, and librarian whose extensive but unreliable autobiography (in which he almost literally described himself as God's Gift to Womennote ) established his eternal fame as a lover. It should be noted that the historical Casanova was closer to a Chivalrous Pervert who really was looking for love... just with women who were locked in loveless political marriages — and also gained his successes famously ugly. (Definitely◊ he was no Heath Ledger◊.) Interesting and prone to be noted for his modern wannabes, he was one of the few 18th century men who bathed almost dailyand asked the same thing from his partners. Many films, TV movies and TV mini-series are named for and based on that person. The best known are Fellini's 1976 film, the 2005 film starring Heath Ledger, and the 2005 BBC drama mini-series starring David Tennant. The latter is considered one of the more faithful adaptations of Casanova's memoirs, while Fellini's... wasn't. For the juvenile version — all of the above without the sex — see Kid-anova. Contrast the Serial Romeo (who falls in love with a long succession of women, one at a time and for reasonable periods). If the guy is actually only rumored to be a Casanova and has no evidence onscreen, it's the Urban Legend Love Life. If he develops feelings for one of his conquests (or someone who refuses him), he's a Ladykiller in Love. See More Friends, More Benefits for when the mechanics of a game encourage the player character to act this way. Note: It should be mentioned that even after the affairs were over, most of Casanova's ex-lovers still liked him, and he was reputedly quite the gentleman. This trope would probably fit (the fictional) Don Juan better.

#12. Gladys Jones (Main Trope: Evil Matriarch; Secondary Tropes: Dark Is Evil, Parental Abandonment, Action Mom, Drugs Are Bad, Bitch In Sheeps Clothing, Bait The Dog)

A mother is one of the most central figures that a character can have growing up, and her influence can have an impact on that character even as an adult. If the character is lucky, that mother will be a loving one, and if he or she is really lucky, she'll be an Action Mom who can kick ass and take names if the character is ever threatened. But if the character is really unlucky and isn't suffering from Parental Abandonment, the character's mother will be an Evil Matriarch and chances are, she will make that character's life a living hell.

The Evil Matriarch comes in two forms:

Comedic: Usually used in the Dom Com, this variety is usually the mother of one of the two parents on the show who comes to visit every so often, and someone on the cast dreads it. Usually (though not always) this variety of Evil Matriarch is a meddling parent, often to an irrational extreme. Classically, this is a Mother-in-Law situation, but from time to time, the kids themselves, or even the child of the mother is the one that dreads it. In some cases, everyone hates the Evil Matriarch, like in Malcolm in the Middle where everyone dreads Lois's mother coming to visit. In other cases, her visit is appreciated by everyone but the daughter or son of the Evil Matriarch, like in Family Ties, where the matriarch is evil because her daughter feels she can't live up to mom's perfection. Expect this variety of Evil Matriarch to have Power Hair and other Fashionable Evil.

Dramatic: This variety, which shows up in more dramatic media, is truly evil in a traditional sense, and is one of the worst villains one can face, especially if one of the Heroes or Love Interests is one of her children (or if she's married into his or her family as a stepmother). Many such Evil Matriarchs are completely convinced that they, and only they, know what's best for their children, and can be very controlling, manipulative, and perfectly willing to do anything they deem necessary for their children's sake, no matter how evil or destructive it may be. The most vicious examples of this variety of Evil Matriarch despise their children (or at least the one they've singled out as The Unfavorite) and are often physically or emotionally abusive towards them, and many of them are not above Offing the Offspring.

If she's not entirely human, then expect her to be a Hive Queen. If she is also the Queen, expect God Save Us from the Queen!. The Spear Counterpart of this character type is Archnemesis Dad. The inversion is Antagonistic Offspring. See Abusive Parents and Parental Neglect for the more mundane versions. See Offing the Offspring and/or Matricide for what this might lead to if the kids fight back. If it's not your mother but her replacement who's making your life a living Hell, see Wicked Stepmother.

#13. Hal Cooper (Main Trope: Ax-Crazy; Secondary Tropes: Serial Killer, The Bluebeard, Malevolent Masked Man, Knight Templar Parent, Insane Equals Violent, Light Is Not Good, Icy Blue Eyes)

An "ax-crazy" character is someone who is psychologically unstable and presents a clear and present danger to others. They are capable of extreme violence, whether carried out with a Slasher Smile, insane laughter, speaking in a Creepy Monotone, or out and out murderous rage, and with no way of knowing just what will set them off, which makes them extremely frightening to deal with. This mainly differentiates them from other eccentric characters who may themselves be obsessive, weird or seemingly crazy, but use this condition hand in hand with doing good, or at least not being in the way. However, some formerly established heroes can go through an episode of ax-craziness and still retain their heroic mantle. Despite the title, ax-crazies aren't limited to wielding axes. Any instrument of death will do, from knives or straight razors to swords to chainsaws and beyond. A good number of other ax-crazies are also Trigger Happy, preferring either Hand Cannons that blow really big holes in people, or weapons that allow them to kill lots of people with reckless abandon, such as any automatic weapon. And for the truly psychopathic among psychopaths for whom the above just won't do, a heaping helping of high explosives or a good-sized flamethrower will do quite nicely. Sometimes, they don't even need weapons and just use magic spells or other powers if they have them. There are also plenty who are just as happy to beat people into an unrecognizable pulp-like mass with their bare hands. It is rare for a truly Ax-Crazy character to be a protagonist, largely due to it being a Sub-Trope of Obviously Evil, and most Ax-Crazy characters usually are Obviously Evil. They're common as the antagonists in Superhero and Crime and Punishment Series, often serving as a Psycho for Hire. If they area protagonist, they will most certainly be a Nominal Hero or Villain Protagonist. The difference between them and Blood Knight is this trope is all about killing while the Blood Knight is only interested in fighting. There is, of course, plenty of room for overlap. See also Insane Equals Violent, The Butcher, The Dreaded, Mad Bomber, Cute and Psycho, Blood Knight, Psycho for Hire, Yandere, The Sociopath, Mad Doctor, Pyro Maniac, Hair-Trigger Temper, Colonel Kilgore, General Ripper, Insane Admiral, and Sociopathic Soldier. Compare and contrast Mama Bear, Papa Wolf, Big Brother Instinct, and Violently Protective Girlfriend, who may be capable of temporary Ax-Craziness when their kids, younger sibling(s) or mate are under threat, but are often played sympathetically. Contrast Suicidal Pacifism, when a character never, ever resorts to violence even if it is necessary; and Extreme Doormat, when a character is a complete pushover unable to fight back. The canonical Character Alignment for most Ax-Crazy characters is Chaotic or Neutral Evil, though a couple of Chaotic Neutral examples exist. Sometimes The Unfettered, depending on whether they feel freed or enslaved by their bloodlust. At least one or more examples are an Anti-Villian, where you kinda feel bad for them since their enemies pushed them too far with actions such as killing their family, their friends, or even the enemies trying to kill them, making them go Ax-Crazy. It's very common to be Played for Drama, usually as either the Big Bad, or The Dragon to the the Big Bad. It is far less common, but not unheard of, for it to be Played for Laughs; this is most likely to be seen in a Sadist Show, especially one featuring a lot of Comedic Sociopathy and/or heavy Satire, with it appearing most often in humorous comic strips, Anime, Web Originalworks, and the more adult-oriented Western Animation of the Renaissanceand Millennium periods. A very large number of pages link to this when they should link to An Axe to Grind. This page is about violent crazy people, not people whose Weapon of Choice is an axe (despite the potential for overlap).

#14. Alice Cooper (Main Trope: Ice Queen; Secondary Tropes: Education Mama, Control Freak, Former Teen Rebel, Female Misogynist, The Fundamentalist, Holier Than Thou)

Much like a Tomboy, the Ice Queen is a major character archetype which is somewhat hard to define. Her signature characteristic is that she is cold; the ambiguity comes from what "cold" means. She has a cold heart, a frosty demeanor; she attracts but will never be wooed. Scorned men are likely to call their failed conquests Ice Queens (after all, normal women would have given in to them). Due to the Double Standard, the Ice Queen is (almost) Always Female. The Ice Queen is considered dangerous to love because she will not (or cannot) love back. She's not much for friendship either, preferring to be alone. Situations where an Ice Queen "thaws" and learns to enjoy the company of others are so common that they have their own trope. Being an Ice Queen is purely about personality; having ice-related abilities does not make a character an Ice Queen. That said, it's not at all uncommon for a character with a cold personality to be given cold powers. Not to be confused with a character who has a royal title associated with ice or snow, though they two may overlap (and often do in more magical settings). An Ice Queen requires at least one "cold" personality trait that gets her labeled as an Ice Queen. 

#15. Fred Andrews (Main Trope: The Heart; Secondary Tropes: Like Father, Like Son, Betty And Veronica, Family Man, Standard 50′s Father, The Conscience, Big Good, Good Parents)

The Heart is a personality aspect that comes up in just about any ensemble. Their personality is based on getting the others to recognize that there are more things at stake than their personal vendettas, especially if The Team is becoming a group of Knights Templar, or if any individual becomes a Well-Intentioned Extremist. This is the person who will argue and fight against the justification of "I Did What I Had to Do". Quite often The Heart character will also be an All-Loving Hero, where they go out of their way to help all of the little people. Within the ensemble this character will most often be merged with the role of The Chick. Like The Hero and The Leader, they aren't one and the same, but they often overlap since they are a good fit. If The Chick is usually a non-action character, having personality traits of The Heart will give them more to do, especially if the team is always at each other's throats. For the same reason, The Heart can also be The Hero (in the case of the Magnetic Hero) or The Leader, as their leadership skills keep the team from falling apart. May be part of the Command Roster. The character whose death or loss is most likely to trigger Losing the Team Spirit. Where Elemental Powers come into play, other characters may be in for a Heart Beatdown. Due to their usual relative introversion, and tendencies towards pacifism (whether technical or actual), this character is sadly often C-List Fodder and a prime target for a single-character (rather than the entire show) version of The Firefly Effect. Many series will start out with a Heart character, but the writers will begin to view them as boring and impossible to write for, so they end up being either Put on a Bus/kept Out of Focus at best, or Character Death at worst. This also tends to happen when studio executives want to replace the character with a more talented or physically attractive character, in an attempt to boost ratings. Given that said characters are usually sweet types (and peacekeepers), this also tends to seriously anger a certain portion of the fanbase, but because the studio executives care more about ratings than they do about upsetting what is normally a minority, the character will stay dead. If fan outrage is sufficiently vocal, and the executives haven't managed to completely alienate the actor, then the character may come back periodically as a ghost or a clone. Compare The Face who does the talking on The Team. See also Restored My Faith in Humanity and Morality Chain. Compare The Conscience, Token Good Teammate. Not to be confused with What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway? or Heart Is an Awesome Power though this trope often overlaps with them. Contrast with Lack of Empathy.

#16. Mary Andrews (Main Trope: Fiery Redhead; Secondary Tropes: Missing Mom, Mama Bear, Heroes Want Redheads, Almighty Mom, Brutal Honesty)

A Fiery Redhead is a red-haired character who is strong, Hot-Blooded, out going, usually outspoken, and (if a love interest) often female. She has a big personality and she's not afraid to use it. Whatever you do, don't get on her bad side, or there will be hell to pay. (Especially if powers of personality and/or elements are present: she likes Playing with Fire. Thus, in a Four-Temperament Ensemble, expect her to be Choleric.) She will be unladylike unless it's the case of a redheaded Spirited Young Lady. She might be One of the Boys, a tomboy, or a lad-ette. Heroes do like redheads after all. This hair-color stereotype probably developed since red hair was associated with the Irish and Scottish (and before this, Horny Vikings) for a long time, and they ended up being stereotyped as loud, strong, and passionate (see the Fighting Irish and Violent Glaswegian tropes for more info on that). On the other hand, it's even found in Eastern Europe where any association would have been with Russians or Swedes, and these are nationalities not generally stereotyped as hotheaded. In addition to this, it extends even into ancient texts from Babylonian and Scandinavian Oral Historian. In the Prose Edda, Odin is depicted as blonde, green-eyed, cool, and calculating—while his son, Thor, is a redheaded, blue-eyed (something of an omen of war/perfection in Scandinavian culture) fire-breathing stereotypical Viking (the raiding kind) who treats Earth as a giant freshman mixer. Gilgamesh is also a Fiery Redhead with blue eyes whose duties include being a good precursor to Thor, for the most part—though with more reservation and a cooling trend near the end of his life (this makes both an eerie paradigm of Fiery Redheads at the creation of their respective people's writings). The whole "red-haired, blue-eyed" thing is usually split in Japan between two people. Although real redheads can have tempers like everyone else, this trait is exaggerated in fiction. Also, they can have Green Eyes and this association is also exaggerated in fiction. Compare Heroes Want Redheads, Dark-Skinned Redhead, Evil Redhead, Rose-Haired Sweetie, Red-Headed Stepchild, Redheads Are Uncool, Redheaded Hero. In anime, could be a Shana Clone. If you have a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead in close proximity (i.e. in the main cast), it's Blonde, Brunette, Redhead. Contrast Shy Blue-Haired Girl for Red Oni, Blue Oni and Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette for the realistic opposite hair color and personality. Please do not confuse this with a redhead being literally fiery, or having literal fiery head, although these tropes may overlap. And a red who's literally firey does have their hair color fit their elemental powers. See also Red Is Violent (in this case, the hair color).

#17. Clifford Blossom (Main Trope: Abusive Dad; Secondary Tropes: Archnemesis Dad, Faux Affably Evil, Offing The Offspring, Mean Boss)

Parents are supposed to be the protectors of children, but these parents are either so damaged themselves that they can't do the job, greedy or villainous to the point that they never had any interest in doing the job properly, or would rather use the child as a means to an end. Sometimes they're just sadistic assholes. This includes parents who are emotionally, verbally, physically, or mentally abusive, or who neglectfully allow their children to be abused by others if they don't abuse the child themselves; sexual abuse is typically treated as a special kind of evil. Sometimes, the abuse at the hands of their parents becomes a Freudian Excuse for a villain. Other times, the character manages to not grow up broken, bitter, and hateful, and instead a different and better person than the upbringing would incline one to think. Troubling Unchildlike Behavior is often a tell-tale sign that things are not right at home. Abusive Parents are commonplace in fairy tales and Classical Mythologywhich makes this trope Older Than Feudalism. Note that The Brothers Grimm, when they collected European fairy tales, were uncomfortable with the idea of Abusive Parents and so frequently changed the Abusive Parents in the traditional stories into abusive step parents. Sometimes, a parent will go as far as to kill the child in question, in which case this is Offing the Offspring. In other cases, the parent's abuse occasionally drives the offspring to snap, commit Revenge and finally kill them, thus becoming a Self-Made Orphan. Calling the Old Man Out occurs when a fed-up child retaliates with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech. If the child gets out of the broken family and forms healthy friendships, but reacts badly when their abusive parents show up again, well, Friends Are Chosen, Family Aren't. Bear in mind that not everyone agrees on the line between actual abuse and merely heavy-handed parenting (or even normal parenting). Is Moving the Goalposts merely inspiring the child to achieve more, or the most insidious form of abuse to instill mistrust and paranoia to the children? Some include spanking as abuse; others think it's appropriate given certain guidelines. Some believe it's okay to make a kid go without a meal (they won't starve that easily); others disagree. Making a kid miss a friend's birthday sleepover — is that emotional abuse? Raising a kid without exposure to TV? Telling your daughter she's getting fat? A little friendly name-calling? There's a line here somewhere, but not everyone agrees on where it is. If a parent has just dumped the child, for whatever reason, that's Parental Abandonment; if they aren't paying attention, that's Parental Neglect. If the parents refuse to discipline their kids, they are Pushover Parents. Contrast Mama Bear or Papa Wolf (where others abuse the children and the parents abuse the abusers), and the more extreme variant of Knight Templar Parent, where the abusive parent is violently overprotective. Abusive Precursors can be considered this on a metaphorical level. See Hilariously Abusive Childhood for when this is cranked up to absurd levels and played for laughs. Black Comedy is often connected in the comedic aspect of it, and a Big, Screwed-Up Family may be involved if it is adult comedy. In keeping with the above note, some may call the show on it and say Dude, Not Funny!. See Evil Matriarch and Archnemesis Dad for characters who are beyond abusiveand outright evil. For parents who are mostly abused by their children, see Pushover Parents. While they do not have to be the child's actual, technical parents to be part of this trope, it's pretty important that they are closely related and live together, like a Wicked Stepmother or an Evil Uncle taking care of the Parentally Deprived. After all, it's much more disgusting that somebody related to the child could bring themselves to hurt them, rather than a mere foster family. The polar opposite, of course, are Good Parents.

#18. Penelope Blossom (Main Trope: Black Widow; Secondary Tropes: Evil Redhead, Widow Woman, Straw Feminist, The Vamp, High Class Call Girl, Dark Mistress)

The man-eater, the woman whose husbands/Love Interests keep on dying. Usually, a Black Widow is a cross between a Con Artist and a Serial Killer, a woman who seduces, marries, and then murders men for their money, always using a different name and identity each time to keep the police and her intended victims from twigging to her real identity. She's very much a highly successful vamp. Black Widows' methods may vary, but poisoning is often favored: it doesn't demand superior strength or leave obvious marks, and it's traditional for wives to do the cooking for their husbands. Also, many types of poisoning can have symptoms similar to those of common illnesses, which makes it easier for a Black Widow to collect life insurance money (a very common motivation). There are too many Truth in Television instances to count. Occasionally there are more nefarious methods. The name "black widow" comes from the official FBI designation for this kind of killer and from the black widow spider, which is so named because of the occasional habit of female black widow spiders (particularly the Australian redback spiders and the southern black widows) to devour their mates after mating. For this reason the trope may be paired with Arachnid Appearance and Attire to really drive the spider metaphor home. A Sub-Trope of Sleeping Their Way to the Top, Murder in the Family, and Gold Digger (this one prefers to kill her Meal Ticket instead of living with him). A Sister Trope to The Bluebeard (the Spear Counterpart). Compare Yandere, Comforting the Widow, Widow Woman (for other widow tropes), Will and Inheritance Tropes and Cartwright Curse. When a pregnancy is involved, this intersects with Conceive and Kill. See also Literal Maneater, which is an actual monster that uses the disguise of a woman to lure in its prey.

Look out for Part III!