#but sometimes. just. ugh.
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Julian Fellowes really said "when a woman's children are dead she doesn't have any purpose in life anymore" huh.
In the same fucking episode we are shown that his darling Mary is a crap mother and leaves the raising of her infant son including spending any time with him whatsoever to the nanny.
Guys, I'm fucking flabbergasted.
#I guess Mary's purpose in life is bitching and pining and byronically staring out of windows#but Isobel? Isobel the untiring activist? the trained nurse? has no use for her life anymore when her son is dead?#my fingers are itching to write that longer analysis of Fellowes' image of women in Downton Abbey#listen here if Sacred Motherhood(TM) is the ideal to aspire to then why the fuck is every Crawley child with the exception of#Sybil junior and Marigold but notably NOT the exception of Mary's son George RAISED BY THE STAFF??#Downton Abbey#why am I watching this show#I know because of pretty dresses and Maggie Smith and because Rob James-Collier plays my favoritest gay bitch#but sometimes. just. ugh.
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Charles has always left Edwin little notes slipped between the pages of his favorite books, in his science equipment, places he knows Edwin loves. Just silly things—post its that say “hi Edwin :)”. doodles of Edwin with his nose stuck in a book. reminders to stock up on wolfsbane. but.
Then, post canon, Edwin tentatively starts dating people. And it’s ridiculous, because Edwin’s right there, all the time, but Charles..misses him a bit. And his heads a mess, and he can’t sort out what the hell he’s feeling most of the time, and whenever he tries to say any of it out loud it comes out rubbish.
So. He writes down some of the shit he can’t say right, and because he’s a coward, hides them so he doesn’t have to see Edwin’s face when he reads them.
then Edwin starts writing back.
Neat lilac blue little envelopes appear in Charles coat pockets. In his bag. Once, in his shoe? Some nights, Edwin will clear his throat and mention something from a letter, offhand, like they’re just picking up conversation, and Charles can pretend they are. That they always have talked about the basement, the belt, the nameless fear that chokes him every time Edwin walks out the door with someone else on his arm.
Sometimes he can’t. The words get stuck in his throat. Edwin’s not mad, he’s maddeningly, stubbornly kind about it, which is worse.
Some nights they trade. A secret for a secret. Charles learns about the novels Edwin used to hide under his mattress, about all the lonely years before Charles got there. About Simon.
Meanwhile, Edwin is losing his mind, because Charles has accidentally stumbled onto what was a fucking courting ritual in his time. Love letters were something engaged couples treasured for years, kept and reread over and over. (Edwin does. keep them in a special box, will take one out and trace the words, tuck it in his breast pocket for courage).
Edwin would rather have to reattach a limb again than lose Charles trust, all the dark and beautiful things he shares with Edwin only. He knows—knows Charles doesn’t mean to make him fall more in love with him.
#payneland#dbda#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#mini fic#charles x edwin#chedwin#fic#anyone is welcome to write this!#maybe I will eventually once I crawl victorious from the mountain of my 10+ wips#either way I’m a strong believer in the 2 or more cakes principle#would love different peoples takes on this#UGH BUT JUST IMAGINE… Edwin being scared to date & try new things#reading over and over how Charles is scared too how he’s faking being brave most of the time.#keeping the letter over his heart for courage#(I do think Edwin should date people for a while because like. he’s hot! he never got to be a teenager!#let him kiss cute boys for a bit! realize there’s nothing wrong with him! become more confident! more centered!#maybe it makes Charles a little crazy! proud and possessive and confused horny!)#they have time! :) & sometimes you need to go on your solo journey so u can then become more freakishly codependent with your#work bestie husband ride or die twin flame in the future. yk
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FELIX ⟡˙ ̟ I-days milano // ep 1: docuseries
#stray kids#skz#felix#lee felix#skzco#hyunlixsource#bystay#staydaily#felixleenet#dancerachasource#mine*#mine: felix#HE IS SO BEAUTIFUL#LOOK at him being the sun even while it's raining#you could say..... it's a SUNshower#heheheh#this look of his is def in my top 5#it's just SO pretty and ugh#UGH#felix stop doing this to meeeeee#i get so giddy looking a him sometimes i just start fighting walls#and by sometimes i mean all the time#😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗
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Ew they're flirting again.
#I keep forgetting how to draw hoods. ;-;)#Huh. The colors actually didn't look as choppy as I thought with how fast I've done it. I mean.#It's just flat colors but it still take up time that's why sometimes my doodles are colorless. Anyway#Actually using this to test draw something I'm going to apply on a commission#They're in the autumn clothes I had drawn them in before. 😁 Just that I accidentally made Connie's pants a bit too light 🤷♀️#Okay this time they're not just exchanging puns. He's just probably whispering romantic shiz that's going to cause OP a seizure with how#smaltzy they are#Oh but what if it's actually just casual talk; but he knows it tickles her to talk to her that close. 🤔#connverse#Connie Maheswaran#Steven Quartz Universe#SU#skedooblea#Steven Universe#Ugh A reference was used for a part and it actually looked wrong? 😕
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come on gimme things to sort. i'm so fucking good at sorting come on lemme sort
#sometimes at work they're like#ugh will anyone just sit down and sort these tiny objects#and i say Brother those are two of my Favorite Activities
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Headcanon that Leo really loved to give his family massages growing up. We know that he’s good at them from the episode “You Got Served” and we know he likes spas and relaxation and getting massages himself from when he tried to get these in ��Bad Hair Day” and from when Donnie made a tennis ball massage machine in “Smart Lair.”
So I think it’d be cute to think that maybe one day Leo overheard Splinter complaining about a bad back and immediately Leo thinks back to a comic or movie or something he saw where a massage helped so he offers to give one and it actually ends up helping Splinter.
Then April swings by the Lair at a later time and mentions her back hurting because of her backpack from school and Leo’s all like “I gotcha!”
From there, he occasionally manages to convince Donnie to sit for one because Donnie’s shrimp posture does not help him any (Leo pokes fun at how sandpaper-y Donnie’s shell is despite knowing it’s always like that and Donnie smacks him for it.) Donnie usually prefers hand massages instead however as all his typing and inventing adds up over time, and shoulder massages too once he starts wearing his battle shells more. Leo also figures out how to give massages to Raph and Mikey’s shells as well, though it’s a struggle at first to not scratch his hands on Raph’s spikes.
I think since Leo has such bad luck with spas and the like, he tries giving himself massages (though it’s not as helpful.) Like, with how his abilities work his legs are probably always aching from his portal jumping and one foot landings, so maybe he branches past back massages out of a need to help his own aches too. (Though he really wants a shell massage himself, the same way he’d give them…the one time with Donnie’s tennis ball massage machine was but a short moment of what Leo’s been missing out on and what he’ll continue missing out on…)
I don’t know, I just think it’d be cute to think Leo could have honed his massaging skill this way in order to help out his family (and also partially because he wants a massage himself.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#this unironically is a smidge pointing to the medic Leo headcanon too#because massages are really good at relieving pain you didn’t even know you had#not just for backs but for your hands your feet your neck#poor Leo just wants to be the one getting a massage for once in ‘Bad Hair Day’ but no#he’s really good at getting everyone else to chill and rest and relax in general it’s very interesting to see#unironically I wonder if Leo could be really good at meditation so long as you call it relaxation instead#also after the invasion I’d imagine everyone has some aches and pains#ironically enough Leo himself likely has the most from the sheer amount of blunt force trauma and potential broken bones#so it’s sad to think the one who massages best is the one who needs it most alas#imagine a time where Draxum finally manages to get on Leo’s good side and Leo hears him complaining that his cafeteria job gives back pains#and Leo’s like UGH FINE I GUESS I’LL HELP#I also like to think that for all they tease Raph for his ‘chasm’ Leo sometimes will massage Raph’s face#and when he does Raph finally relaxes enough to look his age#when Mikey starts growing hair he loves when Leo massages his scalp esp if he’s helping to wash it too#mayhem doesn’t like Leo much at first but QUICKLY warms up to him because of how good his pets are#smart lair shows they all canonically love massages actually I was reminded! so this makes even more sense with that too
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My comic is so pretty...
The hiatus is letting me take a little extra time on these episodes, and I'm definitely putting it to good use!!!
#almost done with my 8th episode... which will give me. two weeks. of buffer...#id really like at LEAST a month... but to be more comfortable id like two#which means 2-6 more episodes before I come back!#I've got about 7 weeks so its possible. but i do still have to finish book 4#so much to do ..........#I decided for my next comic im doing 3 updates a month.#having 10 days instead of 7 to make an episode is such a huge huge huge difference...#difference in quality and in my health!#anyways the comic is really pretty im really happy with the work im doing rn#the environments especially. im getting to spend a nice amount of time on them and theyre turning out so nicely#its nice to be able to write with a lot of different environments and not have to redo panels when I get to them cause of time#cause every time theres a wild angle? you need a new background...#so sometimes. often actually. there just isnt the time to make the backgrounds for those and i have to make them more flat...#which is fine. it doesnt really affect anything narratively. but. idk. it's kinda sad right?#anyways yeah! 10 days will be much better.#36 episodes a year is about what ive been uploading with my hiatuses on the weekly schedule anyways!#so might as well cut out that super stressful middleman and just commit to that#52 a year is just such a huge difference and i have to accept its not possible to me#i will hurt myself trying to do that. and i want to make comics my whole life!#so i cant push myself that hard now and sacrifice my future. we're gonna go slower after this...#anyways yeah cant wait to come back but also time. if I could get an extra week like a secret one just for me#where theres no chores no nothin just me and my work#thatd be great! so go ahead and do what you gotta do to give me a little pocket dimension#me: ugh i want to return right now...#the more logical me: NO we need the time to finish everything!!!!!! NOT right now!!!!#time and time again#ttawebcomic#comic panels#hiatus stuff#adam and steve
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ERMM.... trollsona posting.... Firefly my absolute beloved. She is me fr. Cant believe I haven't shared her here yet
#trolls oc#trolls band together#trollsona#rainyart#dreamworks trolls#trolls#errr..... thats all i wanna tag todayHAHDJXHAH#I mostly just post here for myself :3 interactions are a fun bonus#UGH theyre playing my least favorite song in the lobby of the optometrist#anyways i still wanna put together a little compilation of my folk troll headcanons like different subgenre tribes and where they live#and different features they have and the culture around their antlers/horns/buggy wings#also fun fact i didnt like the name Rainy for them so when i was finding replacements#i found firefly and i was like WAIT.... i can make her braid glowy sometimes like a firefly and i still did a poll but yeah that cinched it#other contenders were River‚ Sparrow‚ and Spider!#enough yapping HIT POST
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ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔢 𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔬𝔴𝔫 𝔱𝔬 𝔉𝔩𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔡𝔞, ℑ 𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔰𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫' 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔶𝔞 𝔚𝔢 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔩𝔡 𝔰𝔢𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔨𝔦𝔩𝔬𝔰 𝔬𝔯 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔎𝔢𝔶𝔰, 𝔟𝔞𝔟𝔶, 𝔬𝔥 𝔶𝔢𝔞𝔥
#ugh these bitches haunt my nightmares#sometimes i look over their scenes and i'm just like u r so messy U R SO MESSY-#oc: rowan#oc: atlas#ts4#simblr#show us your sims#sims community#my sims
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partial makonoid zack ideas~
#half human half mako monster abomination yippee!!#i mean come on. you're gonna show us what happens when you pickle a man in mako#with a whole jumpscare reveal at the reactor and everything#but then you pickle our man in mako... and he suffers little to no consequences??? ugh guess i gotta do everything myself 🙄#anyway. he's still like 90% human. and sometimes people don't even notice. they just think something's sliiiightly off#honestly? i think he's pretty cool about it. he likes that he can scratch itches REAL good with the claws lol#the spine ridges hurt when he's carrying buster though :(#and he's disappointed that he doesn't have a tail.#ffvii#zack fair#my art <3#(cloud likes the claws. a LOT.)
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I'm curious, how would your Suns design look during more serious situations, such as one of the Spearmaster broadcasts?
something like this
and now for a (slightly long) addendum: i know i depict SRS as jokey and kooky, but when it comes to not shitposting and actual characterization, i have Thoughts and Feelings about them. the entire story, they just want to do what they hope will help the people around them, even though it all ends up horribly, HORRIBLY wrong. that's tragic, and it has my interest. considering the heaviness (and intrigue) of SRS’s storyline, for me to only ever depict them as a goofball be way too shallow of me, and unfaithful to their canon characterization.
so to answer your question: they hold themselves together, of course, but the shame, regret, and embarrassment is still evident.
#i dont wanna get my characterization of srs from other peoples headcanons#but im admittedly a little too preoccupied to sit down and meticulously comb through their dialogue to see what each sentence reveals#my srs personality is usable but its not as detailed and tailored as id like it to be yknow#cause. just. MAN i really need to sit down and obsessively pore over those broadcasts and pearls sometime okay#also not saying that looking at other headcanons is bad. it set me straight way back when on a couple of my own minorly dogshit ones i had-#-when i didnt have a full grasp of the story#but i also just want to come to my own conclusions on srs#UGH. rain world is so good. the horrible events that happen dont happen because of some big bad shallow villain#but just people making bad decisions sometimes. because of concern. because of desperation. because of love. which happens with people.#auuuugh#my art#ask#rainworld#wait why has this been sitting in my drafts for over a week? be free my child. ill schedule this to post in an hour or something
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Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
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Excuse me but the idea of MC and Xav sitting on their respective balconies and texting each other The Tea while people watching in their neighborhood is both so silly and so endearing to me.
So let's go on a small adventure, shall we?
Warnings: None.
Just fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff.
The late morning sun was already warming you through the windows of your tiny apartment before you'd even stepped foot outside. It was finally mid-spring in Linkon, which meant you could enjoy your late breakfast on the patio without having to worry about a stray chill or errant frost dampening your weekly Saturday 'brunch' plans.
Opening the patio door with your granola bar in one hand and phone in the other, you settle into the cushioned bench that overlooked your apartment courtyard and took a deep breath. Sometimes it felt like winter was neverending in Linkon, but you could finally feel the tension of the gripping cold that had settled in your bones start to slowly bleed from you.
After getting comfortable, you finally pulled out your phone, and quickly found your brunch 'date's' contact info, sending him the customary "Get up it's people watching hour" text.
[Hey Xav, you up? I'm already on my balcony?]
It doesn't take long for his reply. This has been your weekly tradition for a few months now. Ever since you had both just so happened to see that kid getting dragged down the street by the monstrous hound, it had become something of a... habit for the two of you to text each other the funny happenings on your street when you were home. Not that either of you were particularly prone to gossip, but the simple domesticity of it was oddly comforting after a long week of getting slogged on by wanderers.
[Yeah I'm up. Give me a sec]
The soft ping of your notification broke the peace, followed shortly by the shuffling of his patio door sliding open from above you. Sure, you could simply call out and greet him, as the acoustics out here are great and the soundproofing is atrocious, but the silence is cozy, and the atmosphere almost feels magical. This is your ritual, after all.
It's a bit like a storybook scene, you think, the two of you sharing a moment in time together yet still separated by some outside force. Maybe it was silly, but the fabricated longing almost made it feel romantic in a way that you're sure your neighbor would find ridiculous.
When you hear his footsteps above you come to a halt, you immediately notice something in particular is missing, however.
[You forgot your coffee Xav. Are you gonna be able to stay awake?]
[How could U tell?]
[I didn't smell any burning 🤭🔥]
He doesn't reply, but you can hear the huff he makes over the railing as his footsteps retreat, fading behind the sliding door once again. You don't even try to hold back the laughter his reaction elicits from you, hopeful the concrete carries it to him easily.
When he finally does reemerge, faint smell of bitter charred beans on the wind, his phone is already buzzing with the morning's newest additions to your people watching portfolios.
An older man you'd long ago dubbed "Green Thumb" who liked to frequent the flower garden outside your apartment complex was already taking photos of the new stargazer lily blossoms that had just opened this morning. So enamored by the vibrant petals, he didn't even seem to notice the couple he'd backed into who'd happened to spill their groceries all over the sidewalk. You heard Xavier call "Watch out!" From above you when he'd recognized the impending impact, but at your distance, it was no use.
[That was nice of you Xav. Too bad it didn't help 🫠]
[I can't believe they didn't see Green Thumb. He was so hard to miss. Even when Ur distracted U still see better]
[HEY! I'm not the one who sleep walks! 💀]
[And yet I'm always there to guard Ur back partner]
He's right of course, though you're not going to tell him. Xavier likes to play the part of a soft and harmless little thing, but it doesn't take much to stoke the hunter into burning hotter than you intended. His evol might be light, but you know better than anyone that light, under careful concentration, can start a blazing fire if you're not mindful. His teasing isn't ever harmful though, so instead you decide to simply poke the bear.
[Only because I'm starting to suspect you like it back there]
The distinct sound of a phone accidentally hitting the concrete marks the end of that thread.
Its not long before another of your regulars, pair of young kids Xavier had called the Trouble Twins arrived on scene. Aptly named for the number of times their poor mother has chastised them for chasing the ducks and picking the flowers, the siblings were quite the rambunctious duo. Today they seem to be a few steps ahead of their vigilant mother, rushing into the park with high-pitched hollers and improvised swords made of small branches they'd found. Today's unfortunate conquest seemed to be the pigeons that were being fed by the local grannies.
[They look like a pair of knights today don't they?]
[Knights? Don't knights usually protect people?]
[Maybe they're protecting us from the pigeons]
[Xavier those old ladies look pretty mad idk. That one even tried to chase the boy and almost caught him!]
The pause in messages was punctuated by his soft laughter above you, carried on the spring breeze. It was so warm, so genuine, so comfortable. You didn't need a mirror to feel the heat bloom in your cheeks; the overwhelming sensation of ardor flooding you at the the very sound.
[You're right. He needs more training. A good Knight should never be caught by an old lady]
[.... I don't think that's the message here Xav]
The rest of your morning goes back and forth like this for another hour. Watching your favorite people pass by, concocting new and interesting stories for them as they pass your balconies. Xavier has very interesting and oddly insightful opinions on those around him, considering you don't really recall seeing him with many friends. None the less, his company and companionship on your balconies has easily become your favorite part of the week. The only noises between you are the laughter that passes back and forth as the texts volley from one to another.
Finally, as the afternoon sun starts to become an uncomfortable heat, your phone chimes once more.
[I'm getting kind of hungry]
[Oh good. You're warning me this time. Thanks!]
[What?]
[No. I was going to ask if U wanted to go to lunch. With me, I mean?]
And just like that, the storybook was snapping shut. No longer a fragment lost in time where two people gazed at the same scene together from two separate places, but a tangible moment you could step into. Something intimate and real.
Perhaps you stayed in this thought a moment too long, or your silence below him made him second guess himself, as the chime of your phone snapped you out of your daze again.
[I didn't mean to impose if U have plans]
[I know it's Ur day off too]
Fumbling with the suddenly slippery device, softly cursing, and praying he didn't hear, you quickly hammer out the only thing that's been playing in your head on repeat-
[Yes absolutely! I'd love to grab some lunch I'm starving]
[Meet me downstairs in 30?]
#look i had 3 hours of sleep and i chose to this idk why#written in a single go like a psychopath#and now im going to bed gnight ♡#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier lnds#xavvy baby#kay writes#this text was just too cute I had too i was over come with emotions#god why is Xavier so adorable ugh#so soft boy sometimes i love himb#also-#not proofread we die like men#sorry im Le~ tired ill edit tomorrow
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Leo going through the horrors but the horrors are just that he had a shitt day and no one bothered to save him any cookies :/
#vent art#uhhh ig this needs warnings#harmful stims#sometimes ya gotta bite to regulate okay#im not saying its OKAY#im just#ugh#im too tired to bother ill delete it if someone doesn't like it#having a shitty time for no reason#sorry if its illegible biut also i dont really care rn#tw bad coping mechanisms#trolls is not the bad coping mechanism#its like the ONE good one#whet william#highly reccomend rtrolls#general tw#lemme know if it needs mopre#or if i need to delete it idk#my brai is mad fuzzy rn#somehow drawing it makes it seem even more stupid in hindsight#ah wel
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Okay but you know what i really love about bingqiu?? Big ol spoilers for svsss btw, if you haven't read all the books.
I just love how when the System puts SQQ through original LBH literally ripping him limb from limb as "alternative punishment," SQQ just wants to see his Binghe. Like it would be totally reasonable to project that trauma onto his Binghe, but all he wants is the reminder that HIS Binghe is sweet and caring to him. Fuck idk this isn't expressing the depth of the importance of that action, but the fact that he NEEDS to see Binghe instead of fearing him again is so big
He doesn't even seem to hesitate, it doesn't occur to him to be afraid of Binghe. His first thought and the first person he mentally reaches for takes the same form as the man who just put him through torture, but it doesn't matter because to him they are fundamentally different. Not everyone could make that kind of immediate distinction.
I just love them so much 😭😭
#lou binghe#bingqiu#shen qingqiu#svsss#mxtx#my feelings for them are so complicated#like binghe is so unhinged but i still love them#sqq just loves him without even trying sometimes ugh
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You know that feeling you get when you want to escape into a piece of media so bad its an ache in your chest?
#gravity falls#gf#nostalgia#art#fan art#my art#artist on tumblr#drawing#doodle#sketch#idk man sometimes it just hits me#gravity falls season#halloween#summerween#ugh#its true its like home#i live like right near one of the inspos for it so it somehow hurts worse
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