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galene-gothic · 26 days ago

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𝖸𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗋𝖾𝗇𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿, 𝖿𝗎𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖾 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗀𝗎𝗂𝖽𝖺𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗆

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗ PAID SERVICES TIP JAR

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Your current self ꒱

Currently, you’re in a state of ‘pause’ is what I’m getting. Your perspective is different from what it once used to be but you’ve not fully developed it yet. You think that you’re starting a new, like you’re still building foundations for your character and life. You could be confused about what to choose and how to move forward because there are just so many things that you want to do but there’s also a sense of curiosity and hope about where you’re being led to. You seem to be hurting emotionally and pretty low physically too. The pain that you experienced seems to have affected your mindset, hormones and hence, your focus, and body in general. You could be feeling more tired these days and I’m picking up on a sense of burn out. Some of you are carrying on working despite this sense of burn out and lack of focus that you feel while the rest of you have sort of broken down. I wouldn’t be surprised if some of you cry a lot or are just genuinely really hurting. There were bitter endings, possibly one after another for some of you, it’s just hard to process it all. You could find your heart hurting, chest hurting or your posture being very bad with your shoulders and back slouching down. Emotionally, you seem to have dealt with major fights or drama. There is a competitive energy that I am picking up on from other people and even you. Due to how competitive they were being, you could have acted accordingly too but it led to connections ending. Much of it was not even competitive, it was outright aggression and power that they were trying to place, and have over you. You seem to be in a state of mourning. Somehow these moments of feeling emotionally unfulfilled, left out and no connection with others is what’s caused you to come out to be more in your power. You desire status, morality and power, every time that you’ll get distracted, you’ll get hurt and that hurt will redirect you into this mode of desiring respect, status, morality and power. Some situation where you put a lot of effort and tried to see through end up breaking you down and it could have caused you to be aware of your childhood issues. You’re growing into a more empowered version of yourself but for right now, you are in a state of pause. You desire power, status, control, etc. but due to this pause state, you aren’t being able to cultivate it or go after it. You have a desire for selfless service or you just enjoy giving, you’ve fallen victim to receiving the shorter end of the stick in the past and have started really valuing mutuality, reciprocation and equal give, and take. You pretend to have it all in front of others even if you may not. You tend to feel lonely too but decide to maintain inner abundance and gratitude while moving forward. It is definitely difficult for you to feel abundant though, you’re not feeling emotionally fulfilled. You are choosing to live with your passionate and fiery nature or you just naturally are doing so, and have a silent power due to all that you’ve learned from past experiences. You also keep your emotions and what you’ve gone through close to your chest, and mind so that your mind can process it and learn from it. Your heart has turned sort of iron-like and it would be difficult to melt it. You feel pretty lonely though. You seem to love to enjoy spending money. Like, it could be a way to cope honestly but yes, you’re trying your best.

꒰ Your future self ꒱

Your future self is someone mature who takes life seriously. Mentally, they’re going to be thinking about wanting happiness within the house and love. They’re going to be thinking about sex a lot as well. I’m picking up that you either already think about sex a lot or used to but have a low libido ever since the realisation of whatever tragedy occurred in your life hit you 💀. Either way, your sex drive is going to be high. You’re going to be carrying the realisations of past heartaches and will have learned your lessons. You’ll be craving love pretty deeply though. For some of you, this could be a future self who’s already in a relationship. They’re going to be nurturing, loving and almost mother-like in nature. You’re going to have stepped into your power and will have grown a lot. You’re going to be aware of your darker sides and weaker sides, and will be working with both of them. You’re going to be a bit “me, me, me” because you’ve always been “others, others, others” in the past and they kicked you, and left 😍. You’ll still be craving deep, devotional love though. You will just want the quality of love to be high or you won’t want it. Also, emotionally you’re still not gonna be over things yet but you’ll be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and will be recovering since things will not be as fresh any longer. You’re going to be craving old school and traditional connections romantically, and in terms of friendships, you’ll want ethical friends who would stick by you and remain ever loyal. You’re going to be very soft hearted, sensitive and loving. I’m also picking up on you being competitive and drama not scaring you as much anymore. You will look at others trying to fight with you or intimidate you as something flattering because why do they give a damn about you? You’ll be focused on your goals most definitely, almost aggressively focused. “You either assist me, move out of the way or let me walk from on top of you” is the energy that I’m getting from your future self. You’re going to have a lot of empathy for other people’s pain but not at your expense. You’re going to be very loving, there’s no doubt of that. Your future self is going to be very careful regarding extremes of any situation. If they’re trusting someone too much, they’re going to pull themselves together, if they’re getting angry and yelling, at the moment they may not realise it but later they’re going to be like “I shouldn’t have behaved that way” and will try to control their anger better going forward. You are possibly going to be someone who’s rejecting people left and right until you find someone who truly does appeal to you.

You are going to be quite an over thinker and could have other’s words, and actions weigh on you. I’m getting that you might have to deal with other people trying to drag you down by humbling you, humiliating you or just talking shit about you (to your face or behind your back). You’re going to be guarded and unwilling to do too much for free, and will prefer loneliness over disrespect. You’ll have a lot of inner strength and will be persevering forward, trying to do your best. You’re going to be someone who’s difficult to break externally but yes, you’ll either be dealing with sleep issues, overthinking and breaking down by yourself, etc. but will not allow others to see you break or even if you do, you’re going to make sure to continue pushing forward. I would say that you’re very admirable indeed. You’re going to be a bit cold hearted and demanding, desiring bonds that are well matched on all levels especially value wise. You’re going to want to work together with people who are willing to put in equal effort and are capable of learning, and teaching in connections and any other setting. “You either meet me at my level or you die.” Also, you’ll have many qualities that you’re going to want within them. Others could consider your hopes and standards to be unrealistic but yes, as long as you’re capable of giving what you want, you shouldn’t have to lower them. You’re still going to be healing and the pain that you’ve experienced so far is going to be something that will have stuck with you, making you fear instability and crave deep connections that are ride or die in nature. “You’ll meet thousands who like you, there will be one who you’ll spend your life with.” “You’ll find thousands of friends when you’re happy, there will only be one who you share your sorrows with.” You’re going to be very stable and grounded within yourself, and will be building a strong character, you’ll have already built a pretty strong one by then. You are going to have a mature, wise and provider kind of mentality, so you’re going to want a partner and people in your life who matches accordingly. You could very well feel like you’re out of place from rest of the people your age because they may say things like “you’re still young, have fun. Don’t take relationships too seriously” but it’s going to be in your nature to do so. You’re going to feel so grown and traditional, you’re going to have many old school values and will value the ethical way of living, wanting people who are similar to you to be friends with and get into relationships with.

꒰ What do you need to spend more and less time doing ? ꒱

You need to spend more time letting go of the idea and obsession with romantic love. Instead of wondering why you and your love has been rejected or neglected time and time again, you need to think about and understand how and where you’ve been crushing the personal progress that you’ve made as a person in order to please other people or by falling victim to peer pressure. You need to understand that certain people, things and situations are just a wastage of time, and effort. You also need to understand that you didn’t have a long term vision when it came to romance in the past because if you did, you wouldn’t have put yourself in situations that seemed to be leading to nowhere. You used to have an inferiority complex and used to doubt your ability to be loved by anyone. It was very deep rooted and so you acted out in ways that weren’t authentic to you. While, you may think that certain outcomes were unexpected and yes, certain outcomes were in fact unexpected because you seem to have been betrayed by those you invested a lot into, not all of them seem to be romance related, you’ve been let down even in platonic relationships. You’re being told to learn how to discern and instead of putting effort into situations, and people that are likely going to fail and disappoint you, focus on yourself. “Make the most of your life, while it is light, while it is rife.” You really need to redirect your focus onto yourself. Set aside the desire for love of any sort. Even if you feel the desire, which is okay, learn how to set it aside and have your focus on your own growth instead. You’re being told to learn how to present yourself in a way that’s beautiful to you. Set any and all desires for external validation aside, and figure out what it is that you truly like, what it is that you find to be beautiful, how do you personally like to adorn yourself? “You don’t need a boyfriend, you need hobbies, skills, a strong identity and a life.” You may have always gravitated towards some sort of art but may not have been able to develop it to the fullest extent that it could reach which leads to lack of confidence within you. You’re being told that it’s your calling to some extent, even if you’re not supposed to monetise it, you’re supposed to learn it so you’re always going to be called to it, so you should invest into these skills. You’re being told that isolation is a blessing. You’re being told not to be dramatic and impatient about love, if it is meant to find you, it will, and if it’s not, worrying about it will do nothing. You’re being told to mature and let go of the past completely. As in, you’re being told not to keep any space in your heart for ‘a first love’ or ‘the one that got away’, etc. Understand that it’s in the past and the past doesn’t exist, and the way they hurt and betrayed you or at least left you behind. You’re being told not to ruminate over issues from your past and instead heal them without letting yourself be emotionally shaken by them. Including issues from your childhood and school years, or whatever past you may have had during what I consider to be your formative years. You’re being told to be completely honest with yourself and accept that you’ve had negative and possibly manipulative behaviours in the past too.

I’m getting that you’re a very funny person. Some of you could have decided to manipulate someone in order to gain their affection but you got attached to them instead and forgot about your plan just because you’re that much of a loving bitch 💀. For the most part though, you have always been pretty loving and genuineness comes so naturally to you, that’s why you failed in whatever this plan or these plans were. You need to accept that your connections have been ingenuine so far, not because of you but because of your inability to be your authentic self and also other’s personal issues. You do not need to feel guilty about having ingenuine intentions initially because you didn’t even follow through. Everything you did, was in fact for affection too. As long as you received love and connection, you were not interested in manipulating anyone and acting all strategic. You seem to have always been unlucky and lonely in love, and I’m not just talking about romantic love but despite this, there’s also been some luck that you’ve had. Anyone you’ve connected with, no matter where it led, if it even led to anything, has taught you a lot and connected to you in an almost soul level. While, you seem to have struggled to present yourself authentically, those who had to see you, did see you, maybe not to the fullest extent but you received their understanding and space within their thoughts, and emotions, and that’s your blessing. If you recall properly, you’ve had at least one person adore you at almost any point of life. You’ll also never be forgotten by them because the connection seems to be kind of irreplaceable honestly. You’re yearned for and adored, and loved so deeply, and so dearly, you may not even be aware of it because these people may not feel comfortable enough expressing their affection for you due to you being inauthentic in your actions and living because they are still human, and they still don’t know if they’re just imagining certain things about you. You need to see the truth of situations and heal, and grow from situations. Forgive yourself, others and release any pain, forget past people and experiences completely. Be optimistic and remember that it gets better, only if you let it. Spend more time being honest with yourself and learning how to be present, learn how to deal with homesickness by becoming your own home instead of finding temporary solace in the nostalgia of past experiences. Learn how to create yourself and present yourself in the way you’d like, and how to create in general. Learn how to create and craft your life as you’d like, and spend more time living and doing rather than thinking, and weeping. Always remember “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” You need to spend less time being indecisive about investing into connections or investing into them further. You need to be honest with yourself about what’s going on i.e. if someone treated you well in the past but has switched up recently, you need to accept the current version of them and not let them consume you or have a hold on you emotionally. “The moment you feel like you’re competing with someone else for affection, connection and to be chosen, you’ve lost.” You don’t need to know and understand everything but you need to make difficult choices in regard to seeing the reality of things.

Some of your connections weren’t or aren’t as deep as you might think, you may be deeply incompatible and it is okay to accept it, and give up. “You’re allowed to choose too.” You need to understand that you’re not helpless, you’re allowed to unchoose people, you’re allowed to unlove people. If people leave you behind or start acting distant or like they do not want you, it’s not your responsibility to make things right or even think about them. You’re allowed to continue your life the best that you can with gratitude and being present instead of thinking about what occurred. “You’ll be much happier if you do not think about the past, do not romanticise connections but instead find beauty in your present moment and practice gratitude.” You also need to stop being so generous and giving. Learn how to not give too much of yourself to anyone and not give to anyone who doesn’t reciprocate. “There are other people pleasers in the world too, let them please you. You do not have to be the one to extend an invitation for connection every single time.” You need to stop having hope and daydreams about connections that are not grounded in reality, and stop being loving to everyone. “Your love is sacred, learn how to gate-keep it.” You’re being told that doing things for people, being nice to people, reaching out first, etc. being all loving does not mean people are going to choose you. Also, just because people chose someone else over you doesn’t mean they made a good choice. Stop seeing hope and potential in hopeless people, and don’t act out of emotions for them, understand that everything in life is an investment and negotiation, and on the long term, emotions may not always be fruitful but common sense definitely is. Sometimes making premature decisions is the best that you will do for yourself. The spirit is telling you that you do not need to give chances or get to know people and situations deep enough to decide what you want to do with them. “You do not have to drink the entire ocean in order to know that the water is salty.” Give up on thinking about the ‘what if’ way of thinking because if they cared enough, there would be no space for the ‘what if’ way of thinking. “Your affection won’t be valued unless it’s earned.” You just need to give up on trying to get people to like and love you. You need to stop giving yourself away to others and giving them chances to show themselves if they’ve already disappointed you in any way. You need to stop giving your affection away for free just because no one seems to want to claim it for themselves :(. Choose yourself, even if it leads to loneliness. You tend to feel like you don’t belong anywhere, like no one has loved, understood, prioritised and chosen you. You also probably know that you’ve given a lot to others in hopes of receiving just something, just anything but you need to stop placing yourself at such low value, that’s when you’ll be loved and people will try to understand, and choose you. Your desire for giving and receiving love, and attention should not take away your reasoning skills and value. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Your current self ꒱

Right off the bat, you’re taking the landslides that you survived and turning them into mountains for you to climb. You’re a loving person who thinks about romance and sex a lot. Also, beauty and being attractive. You desire being someone’s crush and the kind of romance that you seem to want to experience is romance where it feels like you’re soulmates, are deeply and primally attracted to each other, not just physically or character wise but as a whole, as if it’s just the other person that you were looking for and vice versa. “No one else compares” is what I heard. You also want them to have a crush on you for the rest of your lives and you want to feel the same kind of attraction towards them. You want to feel your heartbeat quicken, face heating and feet happily start swinging at the mere sight of them. This is so cute. However, at the same time, right now you are more self sufficient and want to be by yourself for a bit. I just heard the saying “if you try to catch butterflies, they will fly away but if you spend that time building a beautiful garden for yourself, the butterflies themselves will come flying to you.” I think you know that right now, you will probably not meet the kind of person you desire and even if you do, you want to be focusing on yourself so that you can connect with them authentically. Your beauty and attractiveness seems to be your focus too. You make an effort to look good on a daily basis. You’re also someone who doesn’t express yourself too deeply right away. You have accepted the cycles of life and count your blessings, and things to be grateful for rather than the shortcomings that everyone has in life, in one form or another. You have accepted that life has ups and downs but are in a much more stable place now, you’ve also attained a lot of wisdom and are flowing according to your destiny, even if you feel like it’s not like that, you are. Some of you here feel assured about your future despite not knowing everything about it because there’s just this awareness that things will turn out alright. Someone here has been seeing 222 a lot recently. You’re a very charitable person who gives to others without asking for anything in return. You desire to be more giving and service oriented but just know that you’re already giving what you can, and have always done so. You’re a very abundant person and I think you lean more towards the glamorous side in regards to style, appearance and charm.

Despite your independence and glamorous way of presenting yourself or wanting to do so, your kindness, giving and down to earth charm kind of just shine through. No matter what you may wear and how independent you may be, when in public, you look out for people, try to help them if asked, offer them something that you may be eating, etc. Also, maybe because you present yourself so well, others offer you help and free things. You’re also someone who just because you do things for people or they do things for you, you do not just let them into your life, you still try to vet them properly or just decide that you won’t let them enter your life right at the start. Emotionally, you’re very strategic and also keep things close to your chest. You understand that people could be lying to you, fooling you or may just not have the best intentions towards you so you maintain secrecy too. You’re self protective and private with your emotions, not wanting to talk about certain things to certain people. You deeply value intimacy, honesty and peace, and you know that even if no one else in the world gives that to you, you can give it to yourself. You value self care and know that when you’re emotionally vulnerable, it’s best to take your space. You probably love your bed a lot these days especially if it’s winter wherever you live 💀. You do not try to force things and instead patiently wait for emotional connections that are meant for you to find you. You can also acknowledge how far you’ve come and feel proud of it but yes, you do desire more. You desire recognition and want to be valued, and praised. You probably have some dream that you want to fulfil and you’re being told that you are capable of achieving it. You’re also a naturally abundant and content person. You’re letting go of many insecurities or issues but every-time you feel like you’ve let them go, you end up realising that you still kind of hold onto them. You are especially a very possessive person who wants people for yourself. You’re not toxic but you like to experience life and especially love, and romance wholeheartedly, you want it to consume you, you want to heavily indulge into it. You want to have the space to give to the other person, to almost devote and sacrifice yourself to them, and you won’t feel safe enough to do that unless someone is yours to keep.

꒰ Your future self ꒱

Your future self is someone who is emotionally fulfilled and puts emotional abundance as something very important to them. They think that the reason emotions are being used against each other in this world is because humans are deeply emotional beings and as long as one can control their emotional state, nothing will overpower them or have control over them. They have a fiery personality and goals, and are just unabashedly charming, full of life and going after what they want. They’re also very witty and curious about things. They’re someone who is unwelcome at a community because of competition. Others tend to compete with them and just treat them aggressively or passive aggressively, trying to humble them. “You’re not all that” is what I heard. They are principled and ethical. They are also down to earth and genuine intentioned so when all of this happens. They’re going to accept that connections didn’t progress as they had wished and will be bringing out a more firm and stern side of them compared to the friendly, fiery and warm side that they had previously greeted others with. They’re a reasonable person who won’t pick beef with people without being picked on first and in fact, even on being picked on, they won’t say anything back but will not let themself break down in front of the people who are trying to bring them down. Despite, the external tensions, their inner abundance will not be depleted, in fact, they’ll only find it flattering that others are so affected by them. Also, at that time, you’re going to be feeling like whoever is hating on you, trying to bring you down or is creating fights and chaos with you isn’t even all that. I have a feeling that you’ve already dealt with something similar to this because you seem to know exactly how to go about it. It is going to make you feel unstable most definitely but you’re going to keep in mind to tap into your inner strength and continue pushing forward with self control, and a compassionate, soft and therefore fierce energy. Despite everything that they’ll be putting you through and it inevitably interrupting your peace in some way and you feeling pretty left out from community.

Also being more reserved and cold in contrast to yourself in the past, you’re going to continue pushing forward as a controlled and compassionate person, you’ll also be waiting for better days to come but will already be fairly content with where you are at. ‘IT girl’ by Aliyah’s interlude is energy that I’m getting from your future self. Whatever they’ll be doing and however they will be treating you is only going to motivate you to do more, be more and win more in the future. You’re going to be feeling determined to work hard and succeed. You’ll have developed really strong willpower by then. You already seem to possess it but in the future, you’ll be more fearless? You’re going to have let go of many of your insecurities and will not be willing to let anyone strip you off your power. You’re going to be very powerful, choosing to take it back again and again if necessary. You’re going to have many options at that time and will have a slight coldness, knowing your boundaries and maintaining them even if it’s considered cruel or excessive. You’re going to be fiercely protecting yourself without even saying anything, you will just be holding up well and with self control, choosing to not let their words and actions get to you. You’ll want to be yourself at all costs that’s for sure and you’ll be doing a very good job at that. Actually, at some point, you may say something, not early on. You’re someone who can take a lot until you eventually burst. You’re also someone who doesn’t express frustrations to others but instead just grows from whatever they made you go through. That’s going to be a place and environment where you’ll either learn how to stand up for yourself verbally, will already be doing so or will simply just win by actions, and decide that that’s what works best for you. ‘Wannabe’ by ITZY and ‘obsessed’ by Mariah Carrey (alongside the song I mentioned earlier) is the energy that I’m getting here. Your future self has a lot of haters, stay prepared and brace yourself for what’s to come.

꒰ What do you need to spend more and less time doing ? ꒱

You seem to have experienced moments that pretty much pulled the earth from right beneath your feet. It was very difficult to make sense of everything and you had to deal with the fear that came with unavoidable changes and hence, unavoidable circumstances. These sudden changes happened related to some commitments, it could have simply been committed and stable friendships or relationship that you had worked hard to build that turned out to not be as much as you thought it was. You seem to have invested heavily though. If not, there was some sort of an institution or community that you left behind, by choice or force. “A major sacrifice but clueless at the time” is the energy that I’m getting here. For example, if you left your previous school, you could have terribly missed it, if you left your home town, you could have missed that instead, etc. Many emotions were connected, you had tried to be ever loving and empathetic, trying to give the best of you to certain people, connections and situations but it led to you not being able to fix anything because these people were twisting your words and actions based on their own personal insecurities, maturity and values at that time. I’m getting that you were trying to lovingly make them understand you and your emotions, and also listen to their own thoughts and emotions so that you can correct anything that may have hurt them but their main focus was on misunderstanding you even if at that time, they tried to make it seem like they were interested in fixing things or like they were dealing with the situation with maturity when that wasn’t the case. Some sort of self forgiveness had to take place and it did. It seems like before all of this chaos occurred, you had made significant progress as a person, character wise or so it seemed so when you ended up straying away from it and the realisation of it hit you, it just led to some mourning and questioning, also regrets. However, you are a fair person and you’re able to accept if you may have done somethings wrong, if you made mistakes too but mostly, you did realise that there was a sense of unfairness and were desiring fairness. Since, you had that understanding that the world isn’t fair, you could have started believing in karma or you literally experienced karma. For example, you did something that affected someone else but you experienced a similar or possibly even the exact same situation or well, this is just confirmation that you and others are going to have to reap what you sow, that it can’t be avoided so if others have done you wrong, just let it go and if you have done others wrong.

Just accept what’s to come and try to perform good karma to balance it out. It was something that required you to have to restart, to rebuild from within and also the outside. You were trying your best to stay controlled. At that time you were trying to practice self compassion so that you’d feel better and also so that you’d be able to extend your compassion outwards. There was acknowledgment that the grass is in fact greener on the other side. You diligently worked on yourself and life itself which led to you meeting parts of you that most people would much rather not see about themselves but though fears and confusion could have popped up and most likely did, you only used it to grow further. You grew to become more mature, wise and emotionally intelligent through what you experienced within your psyche. You also got more in touch with your personal charms and are warm, also competitive as in, you want the best for yourself and will strive to get it. You’re a loving person who’s come to realise after many conflicts and illusions that true love is healthy and empowering, and in romance, two people hold each other to the highest regard, loving each other the most, without feeling the need to let their eyes and attention wander elsewhere. You also got really in touch with your own authentic love energy, pouring your love into yourself causing you to retake your power. You’ve grown to have even judgement and are being called to be your authentic self, you’re already being so to the best of your abilities. There’s a desire to be seen being your authentic self just because you’re shining brightly. You also want to be secretive and private despite shining. You want to have a persistent and strong personality where you don’t break but instead keep on going. You’re being told to join the world. You should spend more time becoming one with the world. You experienced others unnecessarily competing with you in the past and are abundant so aren’t connecting with people as much as you could be but you’re being told that it’s time now. You need to trust yourself enough to not let others take you for granted and need to let your guard lower just enough to connect with others because you’re going to learn a lot from them that will prove to be valuable to you going forward. If you’re delaying joining university or getting back to education or skill training of some sort, you’re being reminded that no matter what you may do, time is going to pass anyway. You’re being told that no matter how much strategy you may approach life and other people with, it’s not worth it. You deserve those who are interested in you and love you for who you are, and not the games you play or challenges you provide.

Feel hot, dress up, do your hair and makeup, try heels, go out, just spend more time taking care of your body and presenting it the way you like, also think about it positively while trying to maintain healthy habits in order to honour your own body. Make sure to stay true to yourself and if that’s not possible, remind yourself of the truths that you hold close, that you hold sacred and simply just ‘true’ whenever you stray away from them. Have fun, live life and explore the unlimited potential that you have. Free yourself from the trauma, limiting and negative beliefs, and mindsets placed upon you by the actions of other people. For some of you here, probably because it’s winter, you have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning, if you live in the southern hemisphere and it’s not cold for you, for some reason you could still have a bad sleep schedule. You’re being told that you need to get out of your bed first, the rest will follow. As soon as you wake up, after a while of lying, decide that you’re going to get up within three seconds and go for it. The three second rule is going to be a golden rule for you, you’re being asked to master it. There is also another rule that I’m picking up on. 555 rule where you should ask yourself “will this affect me in 5 minutes?” and if it does, ask yourself if it will affect you in 5 hours, days, weeks, months and years. If it doesn’t affect you for five years going forward, don’t spend more than five seconds stressing about it xD. Spend more time rebuilding and truly determining the value of things, and people. Build a mindset of growth where you’re focused on growing and also remember the lowest moments you’ve gone through which has left you in a place you’re currently at. You might have dealt with a low reputation and social/financial status where you were barely treated like a human at some point? Use it as a motivational drive for you to build more and more for yourself. You need to make sure to heal yourself and keep your mind as clean as possible. Don’t waste your energy, love and connection on those who aren’t ride or die, there will never be a way to determine if someone is loyal and ride or die because humans lie and always try to present themselves as being better than they truly are, all you can do is let people give up on you if they want to. Don’t hold onto connections too tightly, it isn’t always that you’ve done something wrong. You seem to know logically that it’s not up to you to make everything right but you like to try until the end so that you don’t have any regrets which is a good trait but you need to train yourself to let others go, to let them be, to let them think, feel and experience life the way they want to, if they think that it’s better off without you.

Find solace in solitude but be open to connecting. You’re allowed to be mad at people even after all this time because you seem to have been done pretty dirty at some point but crying over spilt cups doesn’t do anything. You’re being told to never forget your sorrowful and low moments, and how you managed to rise above it but also always focus on moving forward with love. Have love for yourself, for the world and everyone within it. Your genuine and thoughtful nature which causes you to notice little details such as how someone is looking for a pencil in their pencil bag just to not find it when the test has already started, etc. is what makes you so special. Your essence is entwined with love. No matter how happy you are, don’t forget the sorrow that still exists in the world. Use the knowledge and resources you’ve managed to gain so far to try, and help others. You do not have to do anything beyond your means but just do as much as you can. Always lead with love because the bravest leaders are able to hold love. Anyone can push their will without compassion for the rest of the people involved if put in a position of power. That’s dictatorship, not love. They’re usually resented or/and feared, not respected. Kind people who do not bend over backwards to please others but still lead with love and understand the reality of the world, the suffering of others and seek to love, to give, to serve are respected and become natural leaders, and role models. Aspire to be more loving and kind but don’t forget your negative experiences of the past, don’t let them have a hold on you but understand that some people, their minds, actions and intentions are so dirty, and disgusting that it is better if we do not even understand how they think because just five minutes into their psyche could leave people like us in a state of disbelief and lack of comprehension, pretty much traumatised. It would be difficult for us to even accept that someone can and does think that way, and that they exist in the same world as us. With that being said, spend more time compassionately extending yourself and your love to the world but don’t trust just anyone, don’t let just anyone in and understand that it’s sometimes better not to understand why people do what they do, and how they think, and how they truly are. Be discerning and understand that you don’t owe anything to anyone, you do owe certain things, qualities, actions and responsibilities to those you have personal connections with but don’t bend over backwards for the rest. Feel free to reject romantic connections without feeling bad, in fact, you need to do it more.

Understand that you’re not at a lack, I personally do not like to believe in the concept of ‘options’ but understand that there are a lot of possibilities and that you deserve the best, you deserve what you give out, don’t be thirsty enough to settle. Fiercely be yourself, defend yourself from the inside by not letting anything affect you even if you do not externally do it. Have faith that you’ll find the kind of people and connections you deserve, and desire, and don’t settle for anything less. Move on to bigger and better things, and leave anything, and everything behind if it doesn’t serve you well. Don’t regret anything, don’t forgive people in order to reconcile with them, don’t hold grudges but don’t forget the disrespect so that you’re not naive enough to let them or anyone put you in a similar position again. Don’t settle for being anything less than a priority. You need to get rid of the mindset that there’s always someone else. Understand that even if there is someone else, it doesn’t lessen your value. When the presence of a third party is made known to you, take it as a blessing, a sign that you deserve better than that and that it’s time for you to walk away. Real life of example of this is that you could be gold by there are people who still prefer silver despite gold being more valuable. Understand that you’ve done the best that you could and don’t be scared of changes, reflect on the changes you’ve already undergone and how they have affected you positively instead, and readily welcome changes. Do not act moody with others and don’t overextend empathy either. Carry yourself as though you’ve literally won a lottery worth a million dollars or even better, as if you’ve earned it. You’re being told that it’s time to let go of your childhood trauma or trauma related to beauty, attractiveness, etc. during your younger days. If you felt like you were romantically unlikeable back then, it’s okay. Think what you want but know that it’s not your reality anymore. There’s no need to feel hopeless and unattractive remembering past days, and events when you’ve so obviously changed. Stop thinking that you need to change anything about your standards, that they’re too high, etc. when that’s not the reality. Don’t change yourself for love and connections, and only engage when there’s mutuality and ethics involved. Don’t wake up all night overthinking. I’m getting really high cortisol levels for some of you. It’s like, when you get in bed, for a while you’re unable to sleep because when you try, you feel uncomfortable, you feel a tingly sensation that makes you want to fidget, you just feel irritable at that time honestly.

You’re being told not to overthink during the day and at night, and to try and go to bed early if possible. If you cry before bed after replaying the default negative thoughts or possibly even adding onto them, you need to minimise it until you stop completely. You’re being told to meditate at night, especially before bed. Don’t give up, you can’t afford to do so right now because I’m getting that some of you do not come from fortunate families where you’re naturally well respected, it’s something that you’ll have to earn. Others of you, even though you’ve grown a lot, there’s a certain standard that you hold yourself to and have a vision for. You’re bound to get there if you keep pushing forward but you do not need to be hard on yourself or disregard your value as you are. You are already who you want to be, you’ve just not received the peak that you desire yet but the core is still the same, when you become successful, you’re not going to ‘become’ someone because you’re already that someone, you’re just going to have more achievements to show for it at that time. You’re an overachiever in every aspect, you feel like you need to be witty, smart and intelligent person, who has a life and multiple things going for them but also someone who is well balanced in their work and home life, you think that you need to be emotionally available and understanding as well, and ethical, principled and respectable if you want to be loved, and that’s great. You should strive to maintain these skills and grow them accordingly but know that you are not unworthy of love just because you might fall short in certain ways and situations. Be nice to yourself, you’re just human and trying your best. You are doing well but this deep rooted belief of your unworthiness brought about by past experiences when you were younger and your mind was more impressionable still affects you, you seem to logically know that every thought that your mind comes up is not true but this belief is deep rooted, and is going to have to be pulled from the very root itself for it to stop bothering you. The most effective way of doing so is going to require self control and mental strength, when such thoughts come into your mind, affirm to yourself that they’re not true, remind yourself and just let those thoughts go, do it every time until you eventually start believing that it’s not true because as soon as something like that comes up, you already know that it’s not true. You’re doing very well already though, you’re just being told to continue going. “Stay optimistic” is what I just heard. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

⊹ ! ೀ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Your current self ꒱

You are letting external stuff affect you internally and question, and change your beliefs, and mindset. You are questioning yourself, the purpose of life and seem really shaken internally. You are trying to have an even judgement but are struggling to focus on work, are ungrounded, burnt out, overworked and heavily burdened. You have an interesting personality, you feel like everything is your responsibility. Some of you had gotten rid of such traits in the past for a while but they just came right back and that’s because they weren’t plucked from the roots so the roots sprouted until it grew into something like this. You need to be nicer to yourself. So well, your judgement is slightly more even than before, you’re able to see things more clearly and now that that’s the case, you’re thinking about the cold, harsh and unrealistically high standards that you were demanded to meet while not even receiving something as basic as loyalty and respect. “Now and then I think of all the times that you screwed me over, making me believe it was always something that I had done” is the energy that I’m getting here. For some of you, you think that the grass is green right where you are, that you are stuck? I think there are multiple groups of people here. I’ll just characterise you all, one by one, the first one are hung up on someone from their past but are also angry at them so if the other person tries to talk to them or were to do so, they’d blow off. They seem to be feeling the connection deeply, having fears and have found different sides of themself due to the connection. They’re feeling things very intensely, they’re likely wanting to make up with the other person but feel out of control emotionally, they love their person a lot but there’s a lot of anger involved too. They are feeling pretty desperate, they do not even care if the other person wronged them because they feel like there was a reason, like the understanding that you have for the other person is not fair to you. The second group is desperately trying to make up with the other person and mad at themself even though it’s the other party that did them wrong? The third group is probably still with the person and is scared of leaving. The final group is farther off in their journey from the previous three. This group has an even judgement of the mistreatment she faced. I just heard ‘unpaid labour’ could be of any kind - mental, emotional or/and physical. All the groups are fearing the unknown but this group in particular is more disappointed than anything. This group is holding back from people and situations that could be similar in nature and tends to overthink but is focused on diligently working, this group is likely prioritising self, money, stability, education, skills, etc. above connections right now. They prioritise connections but only want them with people who are diligent, hard working, ethical and long term focused. A deep level of incompatibility is present with whoever you’re dealing with or dealt with in all the groups. The final group has a love for children, understanding just how innocent they are or they could hold a particular child dear to them, or a place with children around could have affected them significantly and they hold it dear. If not, they dream about their childhood, they reminisce about the past, they think about their hometown, they might in fact be in their home town, etc. If you belong to this group, I’m just going to talk to you in first person now. If you belong to the other groups, you’re free to read it because this is who you’ll grow into if you simply just find a little more courage and if you’re not planning on doing better, this reading is useless.

I’m saying it with peace and love but there’s no future self, you’re going to be stuck in this energy or even worse if you do not free yourself from it. You’re being warned, if someone has started acting up and disrespecting you, if you’re starting to hurt “don’t worry, this is just the beginning” is what you’re being told. However getting back to the final group of people, this group is mad that they ever thought they were meant for something so less, that they were acting so desperate for something or someone with little to no value. All of the groups are likely to have quite a temper. You sometimes end up comparing yourself and your achievements to other’s. However, you try to ground yourself by doing routine activities, to get you back in touch with reality. You have become intolerant after everything that you had to tolerate in the past. You still don’t understand certain things, you have fears, confusion and overthink just like others but this seems to be a channel for you to get to know yourself deeper, to form a deeper relationship and understanding of yourself so that you can be more at peace with yourself, and your life experience is richer. Not everyone has such an access to their own psyche, you do, you should make use of it. You tend to feel things very intensely and that has doomed you at times but you’re starting to heal, you have a chance to move on without any regrets. You could be realising that anything and anyone you lost in the past was not even all that after all, that they weren’t as valuable as you acted like they were 💀. “Was it just my emotions that made them seem so interesting and worth fighting for?” You desire connections to be so deep that it is almost codependent in nature, you might not accept it outwardly but think about it, what I’m saying is true. You want to blend and become one with the one you’re sharing your heart with. You’re struggling with feeling worthy and beautiful. While you’re not as down bad as the rest of the groups anymore, you’ve developed certain emotions and beliefs that aren’t accurate. The problem here is that your self worth is reliant on how others have treated you, how they treat you, etc. instead of who you truly are. Many of you here are doing well enough to know that it’s all in your head but you just become very vulnerable when the past issues come up, you’re unable to think straight because you just felt so unloved and unnurtured at some point that it was difficult to not relate your worth with it. You are very excessive as a lover or possibly even when you simply just love people, you might like to touch them, talk to them, write for them, just show your love to them in any and every way possible. Sometimes, you might not even want to separate from them at all. Right now, you seem to be a bit more distant though. You’re scared of connection and choosing to put yourself first even if it feels selfish sometimes. You have trust issues and doubt loyalty of others. You also feel like others have a misalignment of values causing you to not be able to connect with them even if you’d like. You’ve finally become biased towards yourself. You don’t mind not fitting in. In fact, you’re embracing being the misunderstood but innovative black sheep. You are supposed to use the rage, insecurities, doubts, everything as motivation to create yourself and life as you want it, and also to build more power and intellect. You’re on your way to grow to be so resourceful and action oriented that you won’t ask questions, you won’t chase anything, you’ll just know that what you want you’ll get it and if you don’t, it’s because there’s something else that’s better. You know that you have unlimited potential, it’s time to try and harness it, bring that potential to life and make something out of it because otherwise, it’s just that ‘potential’, nothing tangible will come out of it.

꒰ Your future self ꒱

Your future self is a powerful person who knows how to carry themself and is controlled. You’re also going to be someone who is reliable and understanding. Someone who is more action oriented. You’re going to be wise and have many decisions, you’re either already indecisive or are going to be like that at that time. You could just be torn between something at that time. Life will not be working in your favour, in fact, things that you didn’t even expect will have happened. For some of you, certain events that were out of your control but turned your world upside down have already happened, for the rest, it has not. However, you’ll have dealt with even more significant life changes by then. You’ll have a lot of responsibilities and burdens that you’ll be carrying mentally. You’re going to have an inner contentment but also an acknowledgment of your previous dreams having been broken. we You’ll still be recovering from the extreme changes that you’ll have experienced. You could possibly have a crush on someone at that time or might be in an innocent kind of a love relationship, could simply be a deep and mutual platonic connection too. I’m leaning more so towards a crush or a friendship because I’m getting that you’ll have too much going on in your life to be in a relationship though some of you could be trying. You’re going to be an emotionally intelligent person who wants a deep soulmate like connection otherwise. Even if you do not necessarily use that word, you’re going to want a deep, devoted and respectful connection where you see and choose each other, and each other only. You’re going to be desiring one on one connections definitely but I’m not getting any sort of desperation from your future self. They’re going to have healed a lot and will still be doing so, they’ll have forgiven and learned a lot as well, and will not be willing to settle anything less than what they desire. You’re going to have some confusions, overthinking and fears but mostly, you’re going to know yourself and have the ability to meet others at a very deep level. You’re going to have the ability to almost telepathically understand others. You’re going to have found out many truths about people and will have gotten a very deep dive into not your subconscious but the unconscious like random realisations of self, others and life will be coming to you out of nowhere. You’ll realise really deep side of yourself, others and life i.e. the dirtier sides too so you could be feeling humiliated. I’m not sure how to put it for you. It’s just going to be uncomfortable. Let me give an example, there was once a point when I deeply connected to someone. That person touched a very sensitive part of me that I was not even aware existed.

When we separated for some reason I thought it was all my fault and was being humiliated publicly too but the inner humiliation was much worst, now I’ve grown more aware of the other person’s motivations and dirtier sides, and have learned the deeper aspects of myself beyond just the sides that caused me to feel ashamed and humiliated. I feel like the feeling that I’m trying to describe is not being channeled out properly through words due to how is more of something that one experiences first hand than something that can be expressed through words. The way I remember back then is that it was a very confusing and overwhelming time but also otherworldly like I’m not sure if I’ll ever feel anything like it again due to how much self awareness I’ve cultivated and how one of a kind it was, plus I’m not as naive as I was back then. Back then, I was suddenly pushed into a place that felt unfamiliar and realising things about myself, others, and life. It felt scary, confusing and overwhelming. Especially because I was getting to know myself on a very deep level and my focus was on the negative, dirtier parts of myself but little did I know that overtime I’d understand myself deep enough to understand why these sides of me exist and also to see parts of myself that was once unknown to me. Also that the unnecessary shame and humiliation that I once felt would turn disappointment with others as I’d see their true colours and understand their intents. You’ll be regretting giving these energies so much power in the past. You’ll feel like you unnecessarily sacrificed so much and dealt with so much humiliation, and scrutiny. I wonder if you’ve already undergone whatever situation or event this is. You are going to be contemplating how stupid it was of you to let things get to your head or think that you were the problem in any way when you weren’t. You may have dealt with external humiliation too, you’re going to feel like you should have stood up for yourself and fought back. You’re going to be in a more stable position in life but will be dealing with issues with beauty, women, mother, females in general or possibly your own, or someone else’s lack of femininity and nurturing. You’re going to be healing and will be putting your personal matters, and self to be sacred. You’re going to want to or will have to spend a lot of time by yourself either by will or unavoidable circumstances. One thing that’s standing out strongly is that the door for the past is going to be almost completely closed. Your sex drive is going to be excessive but it will manifest more so as you having to masturbate every morning or/and night. Your libido is going to have grown with you 😭.

꒰ What do you need to spend more and less time doing ? ꒱

The issues that you’re dealing with are related to money, being a person of character, accepting life’s lows, accepting life’s endings and changes. Don’t get me wrong, you’re doing your best but there are better ways to deal with things. There’s this saying that goes “follow your dreams or desires” and well, life is short so you should follow your desires but I personally believe that the saying should go “follow your dharma (faith, good deeds, path of righteousness and virtue) alongside your kama (desires and pleasure)”, following your path is so much more important than following your desires because your path is right here, in the present, your desires can be grounded into reality overtime but you need to maintain a steady path first. Be a good and reliable figure to your community, and family even if they’re being difficult. Don’t do so to people please, do so because that’s right. Of course, if you’re being beaten and abused, that’s different. Also, understand that life is a cycle of good and bad. Some people have really simple and easygoing lives with their problems being very sophisticated. Such as, issues with visa, their love life going poorly or them not being invited somewhere. Some of us don’t have the privilege to have our love life or documents be our biggest problems. No matter where you belong on the ladder of wealth and no matter how low of a point you’re in, accept it and try to work with it by accepting things as they are. Don’t try to reminisce when things hadn’t changed yet unless you’re going to learn from it and instead accept changes, accept the negative circumstances and work to even them out. Treat people well even when you’re at your lowest and learn how to be the bigger person because trust me, you’re going to be very hard on yourself and hence, unhappy if you are unable to maintain a certain level of good character. Keep service in mind and instead of desiring for others to be kind to you, to receive favours from others, be the one who’s kind to others and gives them favours. Don’t give favours to those who don’t need or appreciate it like peers who are rich enough or have other people to help them but give it to poor children who might not have money to buy study material for school for example. You’re also being told that you’ll never be empty handed, don’t be scared of giving to those who can’t give back to you. Learn how to perceive people as ‘limited’, some people just don’t have it in them to match and meet you at the level that you need them to match, and meet you because that’s just their limit. You’re being told to give to those who truly need it but in the past, you’ve likely given to those who didn’t appreciate what you gave them and it felt unfair, it still does but you need to stop letting it weigh on your mind. You are not at a lack because the more you give, the more you receive, from elsewhere but you’re receiving. You are being told to stop giving to ungrateful people but to not feel bad about having done so in the past. You need to firstly make the decision to become a controlled individual who is the bigger person in situations, compassionate, loving and strong towards self and all and then to spend more time making sure you make this a reality.

Become more empathetic and develop more emotional intelligence, and wisdom i.e. also learning how to self regulate emotions better, controlling your attention to not let things get to you and learning how to not take things personally. You need to understand that people do what they do and that it often won’t have much to do with you and if it does, learn from it instead of letting it burden you. Make peace with yourself and forgive yourself, and others. Don’t let emotional issues weigh on you and don’t try to be responsible for other’s emotional well being, listen to them and be there for them if you want to but don’t carry it within yourself because it’s still their issue to deal with. Even if you try to help them, understand that it’s their karma to work through it and the only thing you can do is guide them, and the best way to guide them is by learning how to become the bigger person and by leading by example. You need to ground yourself better and passionately go after your goals, try not to hold any negative feelings or intentions towards anyone because one who holds a hot coal to throw it at someone else will only end up getting himself burnt. Keep your vision of a family in tact and strive to be the kind of person you’d want to share a family with, you are being told to keep your ego, pain and past resentments aside in order to look after your family and community. Treat people well while they’re around you even if you do not share a long term connection of any sort with them. The thing is that people won’t remember what your hair looked like, what you were wearing, etc. until you’re striking enough to have them remember how you made them feel. Besides, if your visual appeal is the most memorable thing about you, you need to start doing better in life. Spend time loving yourself and try to improve your focus, get rid of habits such as procrastination and spend more time by yourself, trying to build the life you desire. Also, learn how to be grateful and feel content with the abundance you already possess. For example, you don’t have good parents, friends or money but share a lovely bond with your siblings, understand that that in itself is a blessing. Just train yourself to see life as being half full instead of half empty. Spend less time in your mind. You feel passionately about your past, you’ve spent so much time in it after all but what you’re not realising or may have realised but aren’t being able to get rid of is how the issues of the past make you become that version of you temporarily or within your mind even though that’s not who you are anymore because there’s just a thin line between what was and what is. The energy that I’m getting is someone who was on the chubbier side and bullied for it being unable to get rid of the trauma despite being skinny. It doesn’t have to be the same thing but that’s the kind of mindset that you sometimes end up operating under. You know in your logical mind that you’re not who you used to be but it’s difficult for you to fully grasp it and get rid of what you identified with for such a long time. Whatever it is, the past you and the experiences you’ve had have caused you to have wounds concerning your self worth.

There’s this feeling of staying put mentally despite having had breakthroughs physically. For example, I was humiliated pretty badly for being ugly in middle school and it honestly feels like severe bullying to me despite nothing physical having happened so even though I’ve grown into my features, become prettier, understand that I didn’t deserve such cruel treatment simply because of the way I looked, the effects of that time have stuck to me. I do not like talking about myself because for the most part, I’m doing well and I know that I’m worthy but on certain days, the past just haunts me. Thankfully, I do not let it have a hold on me anymore though, you might be in a similar energy, you could be either in the same energy or the energy that I experienced earlier when I had just recently started changing and was not acting like the changes yet because my mind hadn’t even registered it properly yet. You’re a passionate person who has a strong character with good discernment, reasoning and virtues, and have become a go getter, and are grateful, happy and content but the self worth issues haven’t been gutted out of your system yet. Emotionally, you’ve been at terrible lows and have pulled yourself out of them in order to get better, and more stable. You also know yourself on a very deep level because you were exposed to and either are still exploring or have explored really deep into your psyche, the subconscious as well as the unconscious. You are aware of your dirty sides and your pure ones, one more thing that you’re aware of is how deep your emotions and self runs. You understand that humans are complex and have a lot of unconscious things that affect them, and that most of them never get a peek into their subconscious and unconscious but you did, it was scary, confusing and very overwhelming but you’ve still managed to come out as an empathetic and emotionally intelligent person. You need to stop thinking about the abandonments you’ve faced, many of the self worth and other issues that you’re dealing with seem to be a result of others abandoning you or hurting your emotions in such ways that you had no choice but to leave them. You haven’t moved on yet, you’re being told to move on. It’s funny because you seem to know that whatever and whoever you lost was not even that great to begin with but you so can’t help but have regrets and guilt over not having walked away sooner, not having seen the true colours early on, having ignored them and having gotten emotionally involved at all but you are also being unable to move on, you’re done with these situations though like you’re completely fed up and are grateful to be in a better place now. You’re being told to look at things as they were, that situations lacked fairness, you were probably even disrespected, these people weren’t reliable or high value, and misused your affections for them. Understand that you never truly belonged in their world because if you did, you’d still be with them. Some of these people weren’t even honest with you either in the beginning, towards the end or throughout the connection. Spend less time thinking about the betrayal and their sneaky, and messed up ways, and more time accepting them, and understanding that there’s nothing you can do except move on. By this point, you’ve gotten well enough to not hurt or cry anymore, so stop reminiscing and replaying the pain. You need to heal enough to start finding these situations boring because trust me, there’s more to life than this. Thank you for reading, much love and take care.

#pac #pac reading #pick a card #tarot pac #tarot pick a card #pick a card reading #intuitive readings #pick a deck #pick a photo

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justauthoring · 11 months ago

Text

change in perspective.

you never thought jamie tartt could be anything but a prick.

a/n: i have no explanation for this other than i just finished ted lasso (fashionably late as always) and this man makes me giggle like a little school girl :) (this is also not spellchecked! i'll do it later ;))

pairing: jamie tart x f!assistant coach!reader

“Does someone want to explain to me just what exactly Jamie Tartt is doing out on the field?”

All three coaches turn to you at the sound of your voice, but it’s Ted’s eyes that light up the second he registers your presence. A smile curls onto his lips as he turns to face you, posture nonchalant with his hands shoved into his pockets. “Ah! Well, if it isn’t my favourite assistant coach, Y/N! I was worried something had happened.”

Blinking back at Ted, you simply cross your arms over your chest. “What is Jamie doing out on the field?”

Ted lets out a laugh but it comes across more as a grimace as he rubs the back of his neck, turning his head to glance at Nate and then Beard.

It’s Beard who explains.

“Ted invited him back to the team.”

The water bottle you’d been holding in your hands promptly falls to the ground with a thud as your lips part, mouth left wide open, staring blank faced at Ted who continues to laugh somewhat uncomfortably.

“What?”

Beard raises his hands as if to gesture that he is an innocent party in your accusation all whilst you shift your shocked expression to a glare at Ted.

“Well, you know… I–I just thought that, well… he’s a good player, yeah?”

Shaking your head, you huff; “regrettably so.” Because even you weren’t bitter enough to not admit that Jamie was a great football player. Fantastic really. But–But he was an absolute prick who you’d thought you’d never have to work with ever again.

“And this team needs a little something to spice us up, yeah?” Ted, in Ted style, does a little dance (that’s meant to make you laugh) to add to the effect of his words.

“No,” you say blankly, before Ted raises a brow at you. Sighing, your shoulders fall. “Yeah.”

Offering you a smile, Ted rests his hand on your shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “Give him a chance, okay?” He asks, his eyes pleading as he nods down at you. “I think he really means to make up for it all.”

You seriously doubt that. But, you don’t voice that opinion.

“Fine,” you surrender, dropping your hands to your side. “But I’m allowed to laugh at him when this team kicks his arse. Which they will because he deserved it.”

Ted snorts at that, “don’t worry, Nate’s already got you beat on that front.”

Your eyes shift to said man, and he’s sending you a wide grin and a thumbs up in a way that makes you chuckle despite how truly unhappy you were with Jamie only a few feet away from you, on your team.

The only thing that had made practice somewhat bearable was seeing Jamie repeatedly knocked on his ass.

And then mocked by the rest of the team.

Truly, it brought a smile to your face.

You’re still laughing to yourself about it as you finish packing up your stuff in the office you shared with Nate. Him, Ted, Beard and pretty much most of the team were already gone or on their way out the door, but you usually elected to stay a little longer than everyone else trying to come up with new gaming strategies, plays and honestly, team bonding exercises since you found it incredibly important that the team genuinely care for one another if they were going to play on a team together.

You’re just sliding your laptop into your bag when a knock pulls you from your musings.

“Oh, Sam, just give me–”

Except, it isn’t Sam when you finally glance up. It’s Jamie.

You’re leaping to your feet before you can stop yourself, a surge of panic running through your body as your wide eyes meet his. He’s blinking back at you, as if as shocked by your reaction as you were, and before you know it you’re glancing around, half expecting Ted or Beard to be there because why else would Jamie be here?

But neither of them are there, of course, they’d left twenty minutes ago.

“Coach Lasso and Beard have already left,” you explain before he can say anything. “You’re gonna have to wait until tomorrow to talk to–”

Shaking his head, Jamie takes a step towards you. “I wasn’ lookin’ for them. I, uh… was lookin’ for you actually.”

You blink. Once, twice, before your brows furrow. “What?”

He steps towards you again, fully stepping into your office as he scratches at his face absentmindedly, looking just as uncomfortable as you felt. He glances around for a moment before his gaze focuses back on you, and the serious expression on his face is one you’re not used to or know how to react to so you continue to stare blankly at him.

“I wanted to, em, apologize, I guess? Actually, no, not I guess. I am sorry. And I want to apologize for how I treated ya in the past. You know, for all the shitty things I said and did.”

You must be dreaming.

Surely, you’re dreaming.

There’s no way that the Jamie Tartt, famed football star and resident asshole, is apologizing to you. Some random female assistant coach on a team he’d once laughed at for existing? Yeah. Not possible.

But… it’s either that or he’s taking the piss out of you.

Whatever it is, the shock fades in seconds and is quickly replaced by an indescribable amount of anger.

Because, honestly? Screw him. Screw him for thinking he could walk in here, say sorry and it’d all be okay. After all that he did.

“You’re sorry?” You ask, pointing at him.

He nods, slowly.

“That’s funny,” is what you end up saying, letting out a snort as he blinks at you in surprise. “You sure didn’t seem sorry all those times you laughed at me when I tried to coach you. What was it you used to say?” You quirk a brow at him as his face falls, the hopeful glint that you’d accept his apology fading from his eyes as you laugh at him. “Oh, that’s right! That I wasn’t meant to be a coach because I’m a woman and rather, I should just look pretty and help make you look good. And if it wasn’t you belittling me for my job, it was you trying to get in my pants and then laughing about it as if that’s some sort of joke.”

You finish your rant with a huff, shoulders rising and falling heavily as Jamie continues to stare back at you.

You hadn’t really realized how much his comments had truly hurt until that moment. Or, rather, you’d pushed them down so far to the back of your mind that it had been bubbling up until this very moment where he tries to apologize offhandedly like that was going to somehow make things better.

“I may have only known you for a little bit before you left us for Manchester, Jamie,” you add, voice considerably calmer as you frown at him. “But you sure left an impression. And one little apology is not gonna make up for the amount of times I went home crying and feeling worthless, because of you.”

Jamie doesn’t say anything. His lips part like he means to you, but he ends up just gaping at you like a goldfish, looking rather stupid, before there’s a light knock on the door and you’re pulled from your thoughts only to find Sam poking his head into the office. He looks concerned, eyeing Jamie out of the corner of his eye with a certain edge, before turning to you.

Biting your lip, you blink, hating the way your vision blurs and quickly you wipe at your face before any tears can fall.

You refused to cry in front of Jamie.

“Just a second, Sam,” you call, offering him a small, somewhat forced smile. You turn to your desk, grabbing your bag and doing a quick survey to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything before promptly pushing your way past Jamie and slipping past Sam. He sets a hand on your back to guide you forward, blocking you from Jamie’s view and you don’t see it, but just before Sam turns to walk away himself, he’s sending Jamie a rather nasty glare.

The message is clear; leave her alone.

The next morning there’s a vase of flowers sitting on your desk.

Nate is eyeing them when you walk in, before he blinks at the sight of you and quickly turns away as if afraid you caught him staring. You just blink at him, before looking at the flowers once more.

Poking your head out to the main office, you gesture over your shoulder; “where’d the flowers come from?”

Beard raises his hands in a silent gesture that they’re not from him, before your gaze falls to Ted.

“Don’t look at me,” he shrugs. “You’d know if I got you flowers,” he winks with a light chuckle and rolling your eyes as you make your way to your desk. There’s a card in front of the vase and as you take a seat, you take the card, flipping it open.

All that’s written on it is the name of the flowers; Lily of the Valley.

Frowning, you let your eyes wander across the white flowers, leaning forward to smell them and letting your eyes fall shut at the sweet scent.

Only thing is, who sent them?

Leaning back on your chair, you peek into the locker room, trying to see who of the players is there. There’s not too many. There’s Sam, but you walked in with him so you know it’s not him, also he most likely would’ve just given them to you if he was going to get you a bouquet of flowers. Isaac’s there, but you doubt he’d give them to you. Richard and Dani are there, but they're much too forward to try and secretly give you flowers.

And then your eyes fall on Jamie. He’s already looking at you, but he’s quick to glance away the second your eyes fall on him, his cheeks turning a bit red.

Your brows furrow.

It couldn’t–

“Apparently, Lily of the Valley symbolizes apology. Specifically when one doesn’t know how to apologize.” Nate explains, reading off of his phone, the card from your desk in his other hand, before he glances at you with a curious smile. “I wonder who wanted to apologize to you?”

You glance at Nate, before the flowers, before peeking back at Jamie who’s tying the laces of his boots, pointedly not glancing up.

Moving back towards your desk, you stare at the flowers a moment longer.

What the actual hell.

“Oh, just–”

Before you can properly register the voice, a blur of blue is suddenly in front of you, opening the door you’d been about to open yourself before your hand can even reach for the handle.

Slowly your eyes flicker upwards to fall on Jamie as he stands beside you, holding the door wide open, a rather proud smile plastered onto his face.

“There ya go,” he offers, head tilting towards the door. “Ladies first.”

Quirking a brow, you nod at Jamie slowly, stepping through the door while you try to fight the smile that threatens to curl onto your lips.

“Smooth, Tartt,” you offer over your shoulder.

He grins back at you, nodding at you.

You can’t help the laugh, however, when instead of stepping through the door like you expected (assuming he’d only done it cause he needed something from here in the first place), he lets the door shut with a goofy wave, leaving you alone in the room.

Pausing, you shake your head.

That was new.

“And you, Coach?”

It takes you half a second to realize Jamie is talking to you and you only really realize it because Ted, Beard and Nate are all looking at you, waiting.

Blinking, you swallow thickly, eyes falling back on the team only to see they’re all staring at you as well, also waiting. Your eyes fall on Jamie and he’s smiling at you, happy and all teeth as he rocks on his feet, patiently waiting for you to say anything you might or might not have to say.

It’s not like the rest of the team hadn’t ever asked you for your opinion or if you had any pointers. And of course Ted made sure to consistently ask for your suggestions, wanting to make sure you felt your voice was heard and included.

As the only female coach for a male’s football team, you’d managed to find yourself an incredible group of boys who listened to you despite your gender and actively made sure to try out anything you suggested.

But never had you ever had all their attention like you do in that moment. All of them just standing there, solely focused on you.

And that was because of Jamie.

Biting your lip, you shuffle on your feet. “Oh, well… I–”

But your voice is shaky and you’re not sure how to say what you want, but as your eyes flicker back over to Jamie he’s still grinning at you, smile never wavering and he’s sending you a thumbs up.

As if to say; you got this.

And then the words just seem to pour from your lips after that.

The addition of Roy Kent to the line up of coaches is both positive and negative.

And really, it isn’t negative for anyone but yourself. Not that having Roy on the team was negative, just, well… It was already hard enough being the only women assistant coach with two other men, but now you were competing with three men and Roy was nothing if not an intimidating and commandeering addition to the team.

His desk had been squished in between yours and Nate’s and while the man was lovely, if not a little aggressive, by the end of his first day you found yourself drained and feeling like a fool. Roy wasn’t just another man, but he was a previous football star himself; he had the on field experience to back up his suggestions and he knew what he was talking about so that when he did say something, no one really batted an eye to his suggestions.

Or, at least, questioned them.

Worst part was you liked Roy. Sure he swore a lot, and sometimes he’d grunt instead of replying to you but before he’d had to leave the team, he’d always listened to your suggestions with an open mind and never made you or the suggestions feel less just because it was a woman saying them. He was an absolute sweetheart underneath all of the gruff, and you knew him outside of work quite well as well because he was dating Keeley.

So, with the jealousy that you couldn’t help but have, you also felt extremely guilty.

“Are… Are you alrigh’?”

Gasping, you sit up at the voice, panicked eyes glancing around until you settle on Jamie.

“Jesus, Tartt,” you breathe, pressing a hand to your chest as you shake your head. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“Sorry,” he offers with a light laugh. “I didn’ mean to.”

“It’s fine,” you sigh, letting yourself relax once more as you slump against the wall behind you, pulling your knees closer to yourself. “I just thought I was alone. Didn’t think anyone would come wandering in here.”

Jamie steps into the room at that, letting the door shut behind him as he nods. “Saw you come in ‘ere,” he explains, taking a seat across from you. “Wanted to make sure you were alrigh’”

Shaking your head, you brush him off; “I'm fine.”

“You, um… you sure?”

Turning to Jamie, he’s staring back at you in a way that tells you he doesn’t believe you. He’s got a concerned look in his eyes and he’s fidgeting with his fingers, his knee rocking nervously as he tries to find the words to say.

Sighing, you shake your head; “it’s stupid.”

“Not when it comes to ya.”

Blinking, you turn to Jamie, lips parted in surprise. Except, he doesn’t seem shocked by what he said or embarrassed. He continues to stare back at you with that concerned look in his gaze, patiently waiting for you to explain what’s going on.

“It’s just… It’s hard,” you start, struggling to find the words. How do you explain to him, not only a man but the same man that used to belittle you for the exact same thing you’re feeling self conscious about, that you feel like you’re being tested in your own job everyday just because you’re a woman? You weren’t sure he’d understand. And honestly, although you’ve seen the changes in him and regrettably started to believe them, you weren’t positive he wouldn’t just laugh at you for it anyways.

And yet, you continue to speak.

“Being what I am at my job,” you add, eyeing him carefully.

Jamie frowns. “Being a woman?”

Inhaling sharply, you nod; “yeah. I know Ted and the rest of the guys would never belittle me or make me feel less because I am, but… It’s just hard being the only woman coach for a team of men. Even if you guys don’t mean to, and I know you don’t, you all naturally gravitate towards Ted and the guys more than you do me.”

Lips parting, Jamie stares back at you.

Avoiding his gaze, you glance down at your lap. “Makes me doubt myself sometimes.”

“Oh.”

Nodding, you pull at a thread on your pants. “Yeah. Oh.”

Silence follows and you feel ten times more uncomfortable as the seconds pass. You can still feel Jamie’s gaze on you, watching, waiting, maybe trying to find something to say, and it’s making you feel more and more embarrassed as time goes.

Shaking your head, you suddenly move to a stand.

“Anyways, it’s late so you should–”

“I think yer an amazing coach.”

Lips left parted, you turn, only to find Jamie suddenly standing in front of you.

“You make great strategy plays, you are undeniably smart about the terminology and nobody cares about the wellbeing of the team more than you,” he continues, his gaze never once faltering. “You cheer us on and never ever make us feel like we’re doing something wrong or stupid for askin’ for help. I know it feels like we listen to the guys more, but every single one of us leans on your advice heavily and we’d be lost without yer support and guidance.”

Eyes widening, you don’t realize it until you blink that you’re crying.

Your hand falls to your cheek, feeling wetness.

“Shit,” Jamie curses and your eyes fall back on him. “I didn’t mean to make ya cry, I just–”

Your arms wound around him before he can finish, pulling him flush against you as you press your head into the crook of his neck. Jamie freezes at the touch, body tensing but just for a second before he eases, his own arms coming around to wrap around you in return.

“Thank you,” you whisper to him, “I… Thank you so much.”

“O-Of course,” he murmurs, voice low and you can feel his chest rumble against your cheek. “I just… thought ya should know.”

Biting your lip, you pull back at that, quickly wiping the tears off your cheeks as you step away from him. Jamie lets you go with ease, both of your cheeks red, yours burning when you realize you’d not only just flung yourself at him but you’d gotten his shirt wet with your tears.

“I.. I’m sorry,” you whisper, gesturing to his chest. “I didn’t mean to cry on you.”

Jamie shrugs; “no worries, love.”

Meeting his eyes, the two of you stare at each other for a moment, before you’re quickly stepping past him. “Anyways, I should… I should go.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah. Me… Me too.”

Reaching for the door, you glance back at him; “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Nodding, Jamie grins down at you; “see you tomorrow.”

“We’ve got a problem.”

Both Keeley and Rebecca turn to you at your words, whatever they’d been saying promptly getting cut off the second they see the panic on your face.

Rushing you inside, they settle on either side of you on Rebecca’s couch in her office, Keeley’s arm wrapped around your waist and Rebecca offering you a cup of tea as they turn to you with concerned eyes.

“Okay, lay it out,” Rebecca says, “what’s wrong and who do I have to fire?”

Letting out a light laugh, you shake your head. “You don’t have to fire anyone.”

“Good,” she nods, “because I didn’t want to fire anyone.”

Rolling your eyes teasingly, you take a sip of your tea before reaching forward to set it on the table.

“Okay, then, babes,” Keeley speaks up, frowning at you, “then what’s the matter? You came in here looking like something horrible’s happened.”

Letting out a groan, you press your hands to your face; “that’s because something horrible has happened.”

“What?” Keeley presses, squeezing your arm.

Taking a deep breath, you hesitate a moment, eyeing the both of them, before you whisper in shame; “I think I fancy Jamie.”

There’s a beat of silence, before;

“Like Tartt?” Keeley asks, eyes widening in absolute surprise. “Jamie Tartt? Our Jamie Tartt?”

“Like on my team Richmond, Jamie Tartt?” Rebecca adds, pointing at herself before gesturing to her office.

Cheeks burning, you hide your face in your hands again. “Yes.”

Keeley and Rebecca eye each other for a moment, before Rebecca’s pulling your hands away from your face.

“Y/N.”

You just shake your head, trying to grab a pillow to further hide yourself.

“Babes, stop,” Keeley laughs lightly. “Explain to us why you fancy Jamie.”

“Yeah,” Rebecca encourages. “It’s alright.”

Hands falling to your lap with a huff, you frown. “It’s all his fault,” you whine. “Because he’s trying to be better now and I can’t handle that. Before, you know, when he was a prick, that’s just it! He was a prick. And I’m sorry Keeley for saying this but I always found him a little attractive.”

Snorting, Keeley shakes his head; “babes, why do you think I dated him?”

Biting your lip, you sigh. “But he was awful, right?” She nods and Rebecca snorts, clearly feeling that’s an understatement. “And when he came back, I was so mad. Mad because he was so mean and laughed at me and belittled me for being a woman, and not to mention he was terrible to the whole team. Like when he used to bully Nate or hog the ball and never give Sam a chance to show his skill.”

They both nod to your words.

“So I was upset. Upset because he was back and because Ted didn’t tell me or ask me how I felt. And I said to myself that this whole apology thing was just an act and he’d go right back to being his old self in a few days. I was proud of myself too because when he tried to apologize, I didn’t let him.” Keeley squeezes your arm at that and Rebecca smiles proudly. “But then the next day I came in and he bought my flowers!”

Their eyes widen.

“He did?”

“Yeah,” you nod at Keeley. “A big bouquet of Lily of the Valley and you know what Lily of the Valley symbolizes?”

Keeley shakes her head and Rebecca sighs, shoulders falling. “Apology,” she explains for you. “You give them to someone you hurt and don’t know how to apologize to.”

Keeley’s lips part in disbelief; “I never got fucking Lily of the Valley’s.”

Sinking into the couch, you cry out; “exactly! And then he starts opening doors for me and helping me pack things up… he’s listening to me in practice when he never used to, deliberately asking for my opinion after practice after the rest of the coaches have said their pieces. He tells the rest of the team to shut up if he feels they’re not listening to me and he asks me for pointers alone so he can get better. And! God! I was upset and he made this whole big speech about how amazing a coach I am and how the team appreciates me and shit and then I hugged him and cried on him and he didn’t laugh at me or make me feel like shit. He… he was actually really fucking sweet.”

The second you’re done ranting, Keeley and Rebecca glance at each other, before coming to the same conclusion.

“Well,” Keeley says hesitantly. “It definitely sounds like you fancy him.”

Pulling at your hair, you let out a cry.

“No, no,” Rebecca shakes her hand, pulling your hands away from your face and holding them safely in her own. “It’s fine, love. Jamie has really turned himself around.”

“He has,” Keeley is quick to agree. “I mean, he never did any of that stuff for me and we were already in a relationship.”

“But it isn’t fine,” you argue, shaking your head. “Because he’s Jamie Tartt, and he’s fucking fit and now he’s nice too… and he’s a star football player and I’m just Y/N Y/L/N, some random assistant female coach on a team of male football players. No one knows me and I’m not special and I’m not a model or a celebrity or any of the usual types he goes for.”

“That is absolutely not true,” Rebecca says instantly, face appalled as if she can’t believe you’ve just said what you have.

“You are Y/N fucking Y/L/N.” Keeley adds, moving to grip your cheeks tightly between her hands. “The first and only female assistant coach of Richmond who has come up with more strategy plays that have helped us win than anyone else. Not to mention, you are proper fit. You are an absolutely fucking gorgeous and successful woman that Jamie would be incredibly lucky to have.”

Lips parting, you blink. Keeley and Rebecca are both looking at you in a way that leaves no room for arguments and feeling your eyes water, you pout; “you mean that?”

“Of course I fucking mean that.”

“Y/N,” Rebecca calls, squeezing your hands tightly. “I am so proud of you and the woman that you are and incredibly lucky to have you as a coach for my team. I know that, Keeley knows that, the team knows that and it looks like Jamie is aware of that more than anyone else. I know it’s hard to leave yourself vulnerable like this, but at least give him a shot.”

Biting your lip, you meet her eyes, finding the reassurance in them you needed before you glance over at Keeley who is grinning widely, nodding.

“Okay,” you whisper. “Okay.”

You’d believed what Rebecca and Keeley said.

Of course you did because you know they’d never lie to you.

And you’d promised them you’d give Jamie a chance before simply believing there’s no way he’d like you. But promising and doing was a lot different, and it’s hard to find the chance to say anything to him over the next few days.

The whole team is anxious because of the game against Manchester City coming up, especially since the last time they’d played them, it was the match that had gotten them regulated. Adding even more to that, Jamie had been on the Manchester team when that had happened and even though you know he’d made great strides towards making up with the team since coming back to Richmond, he was just anxious as the rest of them.

For a multitude of reasons you didn’t understand.

So, there wasn’t a chance to say anything.

And there certainly wasn’t one now that they’d lost. You’d briefly wondered to yourself that if they won, maybe you could run to Jamie and just confess your feelings then, thick in the adrenaline of it all. Like they did in the movies. All sweet and romantic.

Only, Richmond hadn’t won and you certainly weren’t going to now.

Especially when you were just as disappointed as the rest of them.

You’re speaking with Ted and Roy in the locker room when Jamie’s father comes in, and any conversation you’d been having falls silent the second he does.

You watch in stunned silence as Jamie’s father makes an embarrassment of himself, laughing and joking as he makes fun of the team's loss before zeroing in on Jamie himself. He says the cruelest things, and everything clicks in that moment why Jamie was the way that he was before he’d left Richmond.

And when Jamie punches his father straight across the face, you jump and your hands fall to your lips but you’re not shocked and you don’t think Jamie is wrong either.

No one says anything and no one does anything as Beard drag’s Jamie’s father out of the locker room and Jamie stands there, still standing in a defensive position. You want to do something, you want to say something, but you don’t think it’s your place. And you don’t know if Jamie would even feel all that much comfort with having you do anything.

Roy steps past you in the next second, taking Jamie into his arms and he loses it then, his sobs echoing throughout the otherwise silent room.

Ted runs past you at one point, but you don’t notice, eyes stuck on that of Jamie and Roy.

Then, Roy’s pulling away, but Jamie’s still got tears in his eyes, pressing his hand to his eyes as he tries to hide away. Suddenly, Roy’s eyes are on you, and he’s smiling in a knowing way, before promptly kicking everyone else out of the room. Your eyes widen as he does, body tensing in panic as Roy nods at you just before shutting the door behind him, leaving just you and Jamie in the room alone.

You can hear him sniffling to himself, a small sob breaking past his lips as you stand there, feeling out of place and like you’re stepping past his boundaries. So, slowly, you step towards him. “I can, uh, leave too if you’d like some–”

“No,” is all Jamie says before he’s pulling you into a hug, arms wrapping around you tightly as he presses his face into the crook of your neck. You freeze at the action at first, unsure what to do or say, before slowly your body eases, and your arms are raising, hands falling to his back as you squeeze him tightly.

He clutches onto you, sobbing into your neck, and you let him wordlessly, rubbing his back in smooth, slow patterns in a way you hope is comforting.

And the two of you stay like that for a while.

Your relationship from then on changes.

More than it already had.

You find yourself willingly hanging out with him when you would’ve avoided it otherwise before. Jamie always seems to be there, lending a helping hand or letting you talk his ear off about something or another.

The two of you never really spoke about what had happened in that locker room but you didn’t need to. It went without saying. You understood Jamie in a way that you hadn’t before, and although it didn’t excuse it, it made sense why he’d been the way had been before and it showed him trying to be better meant a lot more than it had before.

So, the season ends, and you watch the changes Jamie’s doing with a smile and a completely different attitude. When he gives Dani the shot, or when he joins in on team chants before matches. He’s still arrogant and cocky, but it’s in a more loveable way than it had been before, and now when he comes in every morning wearing his stupid ICON hat and dumb sunglasses, you can barely hide the smile that curls onto your lips.

Or the way that despite him wearing such stupid things, you think he looks ridiculously hot.

The season ends and then the new one starts up with one less coach after Nate had left only to join West Ham. It had certainly been a betrayal and you’d be lying if you said it hadn’t hurt. You’d always felt like Nate had understood you in a way maybe some of the others didn’t and the two of you had shared that office alone for so long that you couldn’t help the way you’d cried when you’d realized what he’d done.

Jamie holds you through it.

A soft, gentle and comforting presence that never makes you feel silly for feeling so hurt and betrayed and for that, you’re eternally grateful.

Suddenly, Jamie is someone you can’t live without. You look forward to every morning you see him walk into the locker room, and you find yourself texting him at night, unable to stop the giddy feeling that floods you every time you hear your phone ding and see it’s him calling or texting you.

Keeley and Rebecca tease you all whilst constantly trying to get you to confess. You always say that you will, but you never do.

You’re mad for him, that you know but you don’t know if he’s mad for you and you don’t want to ruin the relationship the two of you have built just because of your stupid feelings. It was nice having him as a friend, and although every time you saw him you just wanted to kiss him, you didn’t want to lose that friendship either.

So you never say anything.

“So, I would suggest just–”

“Y/N–?”

Lips left parted at the sound of Sam, you turn to him as he pokes his head into the office. He freezes when he sees Jamie standing behind you, the two of you going over one of his plays, your hand left held with the whiteboard marker and he winces. “I’m so sorry. I did not mean to interrupt you two.”

Jamie is waving his hand in reassurance as you smile at Sam, letting your hand fall; “it’s fine, Sam. What’s up?”

“I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be able to drive you home tonight,” he explains, chancing a quick glance at Jamie before focusing back on you. “I have to run by the restaurant before heading home and I’m not sure how long it will take.”

“Oh,” you blink, shaking your head. “It’s fine, Sam. I can walk home tonight. It’s no problem.” Then, cheekily, you can’t help but add; “as long as when you finally do let me see your restaurant, everything is on the house.”

Laughing, Sam shakes his head; “it already was. And for you,” he points at you with a grin, “it’ll always be.”

Smilingly, you nod, waving him goodbye as he does the same, slipping out of the office. You laugh quietly to yourself as he does, before turning to find Jamie’s eyes on you, and you blink; “sorry,” you offer bashfully. “Where were we–”

“I didn’t know Sam drove you home?”

Pausing, you shift back to face Jamie. “Oh, yeah. He saw that I was walking home one night, offered me a drive and it’s been like that since.”

Jamie nods, slowly. “You two are close.”

“Um, yeah?” You agree with a shrug. “Sam is easy to talk to, I guess. Super friendly and kind.”

“Hm,” Jamie hums lightly. “He does look like he’d make a good boyfriend.”

It takes you half a second to register what Jamie’s said both because you feel that’s a weird observation for Jamie to make and also because when in that conversation did you say he was your boyfriend?

“We’re not dating,” you explain, shaking your head as you laugh. “We’re just friends.”

Jamie’s eyes widen, cheeks warming in faint embarrassment but… is that a hint of relief you see? Probably not, you’re just psyching yourself out.

“Oh.”

Nodding, you bite your lip; “yeah.”

“Cool,” Jamie hums and you raise a brow at him, before turning back to the whiteboard.

“Did you wanna…?”

Jamie is quick to agree, shifting on his feet to put his focus back on what you were saying before Sam had stepped in. But then, just as your lips part to continue, Jamie is interrupting you;

“I could drive you home.”

He says it so nonchalantly you think you imagine him saying it at first.

You glance at him over your shoulder, and he turns to you.

“If you’d like.”

“Um,” and you hate the way your voice shakes or the nerves that rattle your entire being. “Sure… Sure, that’d… that’d be great. If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” he assures with a grin. “Why would I mind having a pretty girl in me car?”

Cheeks burning you quickly glance back ahead of yourself to not let him see how much that simple comment made your heart flutter and your insides feel like jelly. Inhaling sharply, it’s hard to fight the smile from curling onto your lips as you move to continue saying what you’d been trying to say before.

You’re so focused that you don’t see Jamie watching you, a grin curling onto his own lips when he sees how flustered you are.

“Pretty coach.”

Halting in your step, you glance up, only to have to crane your head upwards when you find Zava, the star player Rebecca had managed to score, staring down at you. He’s tall, very tall, and you’re not exactly sure why he’s here, in the middle of the hall, or why he’s talking to you.

“Zava,” you greet nervously, offering a small smile.

He’s stepping towards you, effectively closing the distance between you as your eyes widen, freezing when he reaches forward to take your hand in his own. Before you know it, he’s pressing his lips against the top of your hand, a gentle, swift kiss as he glances at you through his lashes, smirking.

“I look forward to working under you as my coach,” he explains, accent thick as he pulls his lips away. It doesn’t escape your notice that he doesn’t let go of your hand, though.

“Oh, um, me–me too. But you’ll mainly be working under Coach Lasso since he’s the head–...”

Your words trail when you realize he’s not really listening. He’s just… staring. Directly at you.

Swallowing thickly, with your free hand, you touch your face; “is there something on my–”

“Oh no, no,” he laughs gently, squeezing your hand. “You just have the most beautiful eyes.”

Feeling yourself warm, you meet his eyes in surprise before glancing down at your feet, “oh, um, thank–”

“Oi.”

The new voice is sharp and your head is spinning over your shoulder only to see Jamie promptly making his way over to you. You’re surprised by how angry he looks, but his attention isn’t focused on you and rather Zava as he quickly makes his way over, pulling your hand out of Zava’s and gently pushing you behind him as he blocks you from sight from Zava. You flush when you realize Jamie’s still holding onto your hand, before slowly peeking over his shoulder.

“Tartt,” Zava grins, “it’s wonderful to see you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jamie huffs. “Just keep your hands to yourself, okay?”

Raising his hands in surrender, Zava laughs, stepping back as he moves to walk away. His eyes catch yours and he winks at you before turning to walk off.

“Prick.” Jamie hisses under his breath.

You pause at that, turning to him only to see his eyes set in a glare, watching Zava disappear down the hall before you let out a giggle. Jamie’s eyes fall on you the second you do, gaze softening when he sees you giggling.

“What?”

“Nothing,” you smile, biting your lip as you glance up at him. “Just funny. You're calling him a prick.”

Jamie’s eyes widen in mock hurt; “he is!”

“Sure,” you shrug. “And so were you.”

“But not anymore,” he teases, rolling his eyes at you.

“True,” you agree, shocking him by how easily you do. You just continue to smile at him, “definitely not anymore.”

Jamie stares down at you, eyes never leaving your face. “He’s right about one thing, though.”

Quirking a brow, you tilt your head; “yeah? And what’s that?”

“You do have the most beautiful eyes.”

That was the last thing you expected.

Lips parting, you’re burning red as you promptly slap Jamie in the arm.

“Ow!” He hisses, pulling away as his hand (regrettably) leaves yours. “What was that for?”

You just stare back at him, pouting, embarrassed, hoping he can’t hear how fast your heart is beating.

Or notice that the way he said it meant way more than it did coming from Zava.

“Prick.”

Jamie just blinks, pouting; “what did I do?”

You let out a laugh as Jamie comes running up on the bus cheering about seeing Windmills, shaking your head with a grin as the rest of the guys cheer him on.

He walks down the aisle, high fiving a few of the guys until his eyes settle on you. Leaning your head against the seat, you grin cheekily up at him. “Did you have a fun night?” You ask with a head tilt, biting the inside of your cheek.

Smiling down at you, Jaime nods; “yeah, you?”

“Perfect,” you assure. “Spent a quiet night in my room.”

“The boys didn’t keep ya company?” He frowns, and he looks like he’s about to say something before you quickly reach forward, grabbing his wrist.

“That was team bonding stuff, silly,” you roll your eyes. “Besides, I had the most relaxing bath. It was fine.”

He glances down at you, not saying anything, but you feel your chest tighten when you see the way his eyes glance across your entire figure at the word bath.

Ignoring the butterflies, you smile; “saved you a seat, see?” You gesture to the empty window seat next to you, and Jamie laughs.

“You want the window seat?”

“Yup,” you grin, shuffling over to the other side as Jamie takes your old spot. You settle down next to him, arm brushing against his as he grins over at you.

“You got lots of training done last night?”

Jamie nods, “yup. Taugh’ Roy how to ride a bike.”

Brows furrowing, you briefly wonder how that happened in the midst of training but you let it go all the same, shrugging as you laugh. “But you made sure to get some rest, yes?” You add, turning to him with a quirked brow. “Because you remember what I said about training? If you push yourself too hard, you’re not going–”

“–to help anyone,” he finishes for you with a chuckle. “Yes, I remember.”

“Good,” you nod, squeezing his arm.

“And you?”

Blinking, you turn to him.

“Did you get some rest last night?”

You nod, touched by his concern. “Yeah,” you assure, “like I said, spent the night in my room, resting.”

“Good,” he repeats your words from earlier and you turn your head away to the window when you feel yourself smiling.

Yet, despite that, an hour later, you’ve passed out on Jamie’s very own shoulder, softly snoring away.

Jamie is careful not to move, not wanting to wake you up, but when Dani turns to take a photo excitedly, he doesn’t stop him.

“Hey,” he whispers to Dani, “send that to me, okay?”

“You need to talk to Jamie.”

Raising a brow, you glance up at Roy.

“...I do?”

“He’s a mess,” is all Roy says.

“Okay…?”

“And you need to talk to him.”

Biting your lip, you hum; “because?”

Huffing, Roy rolls his eyes like you’re the one being annoying. “Because you’re the only one he’ll listen to, so you need to talk to him and get him out of whatever funk he’s in.”

“Okay,” you nod, “I’ll talk to him.”

You don’t get the chance to talk to him until you’ve arrived at the hotel the night before the game and even then it’s not really you talking to him.

The movie you’d all watched together is over and Ted had set a curfew but Jamie is taking your hand in his, throwing his hood up and leading you out of the hotel without another word. You glance over your shoulder to see Roy glancing at you in confusion, but you just shrug your shoulders and then Keeley is sending you two thumbs up with a bright grin and before you know it, you both are out the hotel and making your way across the street.

You let him lead, expecting him to say something, but he never really does. He’s eerily silent the entire walk, and it isn't until twenty minutes have passed that you finally tug on his grip and pull him to a stop. He glances back at you in surprise but you’re just shaking your head up at him, confused.

“If this is your way of getting me alone to murder me, I’m going to be really upset.”

He blinks at your words, confused at first, before he shakes his head. “No, no… of course not. I… I want you to meet someone.”

“Oh,” you mumble, feeling yourself ease as you meet his gaze. He’s staring back at you, obviously waiting for you to agree and with a gentle smile, you nod.

“Okay.”

It’s his mom.

He wanted you to meet his mom.

You’re confused, extremely so, as Jamie leads you up the steps to a house, knocks and some older gentleman opens the door. He recognizes Jamie and invites the both of you in, and you’re left standing in the entrance way, baffled as you hug your coat closer to yourself, until a woman comes running down the stairs, screaming Jamie’s name and then suddenly she’s in his arms and he’s spinning her and calling her ‘mommy’ and it all clicks.

You can't help the smile that curls onto your lips at the sight, feeling like you’re being allowed to see a side of Jamie others rarely were.

And when Jamie introduces you to his mom, the smile turns into shock when she says; “you’re the one Jamie’s told me so much about!” And before you even have time to register those words or see Jamie glancing at you, she’s wrapping you up in her arms and hugging you so tightly as she gushes about how much she’s wanted to meet you.

You spend the night being welcomed by his mother and her boyfriend, before you leave Jamie to have his much needed conversation with his mom. Simon shows you around the house, before leaving you to glance around Jamie’s childhood bedroom yourself. You all but squeal at his Roy Kent poster, before rolling your eyes at Keeley’s, but happily glance round the rest of the room. You look at all his trophies and childhood photos, little drawings he’d done or books he’d read.

Before you know it, Jamie’s poking his head into the room and calling for you.

“Oh, Jamie,” you smile, “are you all done catching up with your mom?”

He nods, “yeah, you wanna get out of here? Go back to the hotel?”

“Sure,” you agree with ease, stepping toward him. He sets his hand against your back, leading you back towards the door where you say your final goodbyes. You thank Simon for the tour and give Georgie a huge hug, expressing how happy you were to meet her before she makes you promise you’ll come by and visit again.

You’re not quite sure how to reply to that, but it’s okay because Jamie does it for you, promising the two of you will stop by for an actual dinner soon.

And then, it’s just the two of you, making your way back to the hotel.

“So,” you call out, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. “You told your mum about me?”

Jamie rolls his eyes at that, huffing. “Of course I did. Why wouldn’t I?”

That certainly isn’t the response you were expecting, so, with warm cheeks, you glance at your feet.

“Got it all sorted now?”

Jamie hums, “yup. Sorry if I worried ya.”

You shake your head. “Think you had Roy in more of a panic, if I’m being honest. Poor man couldn’t breathe, he was so worried.”

Jamie snorts at that, lightly nudging you with his arm. “So, ya weren’ worried at all?”

Turning your head, your smile fades as you meet his gaze. “No, I was. I just didn’t want to overstep.”

“You could never overstep,” Jamie assures, “I should’ve been open about how I was feelin’. Just needed to sort it out for meself.”

Smiling softly to yourself, you hug your hands behind your back. “Well, I’m glad you figured it all out, Jamie. Really. Now you can kick some serious ass tomorrow, yeah?” You’re smiling as you say it, nudging him back with your own arm as the two of you continue to walk.

Then, suddenly, Jamie stops.

Frowning, you glance back at him; “are you–?”

“Me mum helped me with somethin’ else.”

“Oh,” you mumble, not sure where he was going with this. “What’s that?”

“Said I should stop being such a pussy and tell you how I really feel.”

Lips parting, you freeze. “Oh.”

Jamie nods, slow, and you can tell he’s nervous by the way he’s shuffling on his feet. “So… here goes.”

Your eyes widen when he steps forward, closing the distance between the two of you until he’s right in front of you, inches away. Your eyes follow him, head tilted back as you stare up at him, unsure what to do or say. But you don’t need to, because Jamie is speaking up in the next second.

“I’m in love with ya,” he confesses, letting the words just slip past his lips. “I’ve been in love with ya since you hugged me after me dad in Wembley. Maybe before that, I dunno. All I know is that when I came back to Richmond, all I was focused on was makin’ everyone like me again and then you yelled at me that day in yer office and I realized it was more than that. It wasn’t just about makin’ people like me, but makin’ up for the cruel things I'd done. I’m so sorry for the way I treated ya before, but I want you to know that I think the absolute world of ya. You are kind and sweet and smart and proper fit and… I dunno, you might not feel the same but I don’t wanna go on another day not having you know how crazy I am for ya.”

His words settle, carry on in the silence, as you stare back up at him, lips left parted, disbelief coursing through your veins.

Jamie’s confidence wavers as the silence carries and he’s shuffling on his feet in worry as he swallows thickly. “You don’t have to say anythin’,” he assures, rambling now with nerves. “I just wanted ya to know, so–”

But you cut him off by pressing your lips firmly against his own.

Jamie stumbles back from the pure force of the kiss at first, before he catches his balance and the shock fades and his hands are falling on your waist as he squeezes, returning the kiss with just as much passion. Maybe more. He kisses you like he’s been waiting to do this for weeks, and you realize, he maybe has. He holds you like you're the only thing in that moment that matters and you let yourself sink into his touch, turning to putty in his hands as you thread your fingers through his hair.

Then, slowly, you pull away, breathless as he smiles down at you.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “since the day you left me those flowers.”

Jamie’s eyes widen and his lips part but you don’t have the care to be embarrassed by your confession; it just felt good to finally, finally be able to say the words out loud.

“And I am so excited to see you kick ass tomorrow.” You breathe out, pressing your hands to his cheeks as you smile up at him, eyes dazed and sparkling with delight.

Pressing his forehead against yours, Jamie presses a gentle kiss to your lips.

“And I can’t wait to see you kick ass tomorrow.”

#ted lasso #ted lasso x reader #jamie tartt #jamie tartt x reader #phil dunster #jamie tartt imagine

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bi-writes · 5 months ago

Note

whats wrong with ai?? genuinely curious <3

okay let's break it down. i'm an engineer, so i'm going to come at you from a perspective that may be different than someone else's.

i don't hate ai in every aspect. in theory, there are a lot of instances where, in fact, ai can help us do things a lot better without. here's a few examples:

ai detecting cancer

ai sorting recycling

some practical housekeeping that gemini (google ai) can do

all of the above examples are ways in which ai works with humans to do things in parallel with us. it's not overstepping--it's sorting, using pixels at a micro-level to detect abnormalities that we as humans can not, fixing a list. these are all really small, helpful ways that ai can work with us.

everything else about ai works against us. in general, ai is a huge consumer of natural resources. every prompt that you put into character.ai, chatgpt? this wastes water + energy. it's not free. a machine somewhere in the world has to swallow your prompt, call on a model to feed data into it and process more data, and then has to generate an answer for you all in a relatively short amount of time.

that is crazy expensive. someone is paying for that, and if it isn't you with your own money, it's the strain on the power grid, the water that cools the computers, the A/C that cools the data centers. and you aren't the only person using ai. chatgpt alone gets millions of users every single day, with probably thousands of prompts per second, so multiply your personal consumption by millions, and you can start to see how the picture is becoming overwhelming.

that is energy consumption alone. we haven't even talked about how problematic ai is ethically. there is currently no regulation in the united states about how ai should be developed, deployed, or used.

what does this mean for you?

it means that anything you post online is subject to data mining by an ai model (because why would they need to ask if there's no laws to stop them? wtf does it matter what it means to you to some idiot software engineer in the back room of an office making 3x your salary?). oh, that little fic you posted to wattpad that got a lot of attention? well now it's being used to teach ai how to write. oh, that sketch you made using adobe that you want to sell? adobe didn't tell you that anything you save to the cloud is now subject to being used for their ai models, so now your art is being replicated to generate ai images in photoshop, without crediting you (they have since said they don't do this...but privacy policies were never made to be human-readable, and i can't imagine they are the only company to sneakily try this). oh, your apartment just installed a new system that will use facial recognition to let their residents inside? oh, they didn't train their model with anyone but white people, so now all the black people living in that apartment building can't get into their homes. oh, you want to apply for a new job? the ai model that scans resumes learned from historical data that more men work that role than women (so the model basically thinks men are better than women), so now your resume is getting thrown out because you're a woman.

ai learns from data. and data is flawed. data is human. and as humans, we are racist, homophobic, misogynistic, transphobic, divided. so the ai models we train will learn from this. ai learns from people's creative works--their personal and artistic property. and now it's scrambling them all up to spit out generated images and written works that no one would ever want to read (because it's no longer a labor of love), and they're using that to make money. they're profiting off of people, and there's no one to stop them. they're also using generated images as marketing tools, to trick idiots on facebook, to make it so hard to be media literate that we have to question every single thing we see because now we don't know what's real and what's not.

the problem with ai is that it's doing more harm than good. and we as a society aren't doing our due diligence to understand the unintended consequences of it all. we aren't angry enough. we're too scared of stifling innovation that we're letting it regulate itself (aka letting companies decide), which has never been a good idea. we see it do one cool thing, and somehow that makes up for all the rest of the bullshit?

#yeah i could talk about this for years #i could talk about it forever #im so passionate about this lmao #anyways #i also want to point out the examples i listed are ONLY A FEW problems #there's SO MUCH MORE #anywho ai is bleh go away #ask #ask b #🐝's anons #ai

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heyhoeudoin · 5 months ago

Text

TIMES SENKU TALKED ABOUT YOU

"I will always be by your side."

pairing: senku ishigami x fem!reader

words: 9.2k

genre/s: fluff, mystery, storytelling in the third perspective (special ep, s3, s4), slight angst

warning/s: she/her, swearing, ambiguous/not direct ending

synopsis: there is always someone next to senku, all the time.

masterlist ; loyalty built from love (part 1)

a/n: jokes on you guys, i was already writing a part two even before i got many requests for it. also, i wrote part 1 like months ago and it took months to write as well, so when i re-read it for part 2, part 1 was so ambiguously written good that even i have no idea what the hell i was going for.

also, don't be shy to give any comments, because i am reading those and i love them all <3

anyone could tell that senku misses you

like a lot...

to the point that he mentions you

a lot...

it was rather endearing to the people around him

it's cute that senku still remains the habit of talking about you whenever you're not physically with him

yuzuriha always liked that habit of his

she will never not be bothered by it, she's used to it after all

he would always at least mention you once a day

he just loves talking about you

it's really endearing and an adorable side to the usually unaffectionate friend of hers

"the first balloon that humanity took flight in was made of hemp cloth," shared senku as gen let out an awed noise. "the one massive ordeal to overcome is..."

"right..." yuzuriha raised her hand. "you need a crap ton of cloth, don't you?" she asked with a slightly painful look on her face, already knowing the work she's going to put into.

"oh, look!" senku pointed at yuzuriha with a devilish expression. "i totally didn't realize! we've got the crafts club here!" yuzuriha jabbed a fist at his chest.

senku and kaseki then got onto the floor and bowed, performing a dogeza. "the science team will commit itself to designing the passenger basket," senku explained in a robot manner.

"we'll make any tools you need," kaseki tells her, raising his head.

"can i leave the cloth making to you? to the yuzuriha crafts team?" senku confidently asked, raising his head.

yuzuriha nods as senku stood up and the two shared a high-five. "of course you can!" she exclaimed with a peace sign.

"i could've had y/n help you with this. well actually, i think she would've helped immediately without me saying anything, but..." senku trailed off, but yuzuriha understood what he's trying to say.

she placed a hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. "i know, senku. it's fine! i've got it handled."

later on yuzuriha asked senku and kaseki to make a loom to get things going a bit faster and easier. as she waited, senku called, "hey, it's done." she turned around expecting a simpler loom, but it was not. she let out a surprised noise, falling onto the ground. a pleasant surprise, she was given.

"was this not what you were expecting, yuzuriha-chan?" kaseki asks, a bit worried.

"we didn't have much time," says senku, looking a bit worried too. "did you want an electric one? maybe i should've. y/n would have my head seeing i didn't immediately make an electric one for you."

yuzuriha hurriedly dismissed their worry. "no! no! i appreciate it a lot!"

"they're the senku department store's first high-end products. it might be a while before they start selling," says gen, looking at the racks that held an assortment of clothes and the people that looked around the new place.

"y/n would've love this," senku absentmindedly mentions. "she would've easily volunteered for that fashion show too."

gen turned to senku as if he grew a head.

"oh, also, hand them out to anyone who works," senku then tells gen. "we have a living manifestation of greed who'll buy just about anything."

that was first time gen heard senku talk about you as if he's some clingy boyfriend that misses his girlfriend, he thought he was finally going insane in the stone world

he genuinely would have never thought that senku's the type to be like that when it comes to relationships

which was already shocking in of itself

he truly never expected to have "senku" and "relationship/boyfriend/girlfriend" in the same sentence

are you two really just boyfriend and girlfriend though?

it doesn't seem right to call you and senku, girlfriend and boyfriend

it feels like the two of you have something more

ryusui never met you

of course because when the fuck would he ever

but he has been in the same room as you a few times

people from the "rich, noble, important" families would hold these galas for the "high-class", and you attended some of them for connecting purposes

he, on the other hand, attended most of these which made it possible for him to have seen you in person a few time

though, he never dared interact with you

he only stared at you from afar in awe

it was also an added bonus that because of one of these galas, your family ended up connecting with his family through buying yachts

though, other than that, the nanami conglomerate and the l/n family has no other connection than a business one

and so when senku mentioned your name...

he didn't know what to think when senku mentioned you as if you were an old friend

and judging by chrome's reaction, it seems that the scientist has mentioned you a few times already

"we're in the sky, protected by nothing but our own skin and flesh. you don't get this kind of extravagance anywhere else," he says, looking on the horizon they are given from the air balloon. "not this unique sensation."

"yeah," senku agreed. "y/n would love to be here right now, but sucks to be her for not being here." he cackled out a laughter as chrome turned to him and gave him a light jab.

"seriously?" he deadpanned, but then got distracted by a flock of bird, flying pass the balloon. "we're with the birds!" he exclaimed.

actually, did he even refer to you as if you were an old friend?

it almost felt like he referred to you as if you were dead...

and in a manner that only a really close friend has the rights to do

ryusui didn't believe that though

i mean, how could he?

you dead?

it's ridiculous (utterly ridiculous)

he can see the reasons on why senku has survived and thrived

he also knows the reasons on why you, too, are just as capable of surviving and thriving

so where are you really?

"it's as good as bread from a popular modern shop," senku says after taking a bite out of the stollen that francois just baked. "it'll last to the other side of the planet, and it's good as hell. a perfect food that i've been dying to have and we've got it now!"

"greed equals justice," is all what francois says.

"y/n's really missing out," senku absentmindedly called out. "she would've devoured these so fast, well, as much as her stomach can handle." he smiled fondly at the thought

gen turned to him and asked, "does she like bread that much?"

"loves them even more so than the average person," senku says with a tired expression from just thinking about it. "that girl dragged me around the globe just to have a damn bread tour."

francois wasn't sure if they had heard the scientist correctly

did senku just refer to you like you two are old friends?

you?

a member of the most powerful family in the entirety of japan?

the eldest of the said family?

the next in line?

the hidden treasure of japan?

it was strange

they were confused on why senku would have connections to you

and judging from gen's casual follow-up question, your name has been brought up more than once by senku

but it wasn't their job to be curious and to question the lives of others

their job was to serve ryusui-sama

and for the sake of the nanami conglomerate, ishigami senku is an absolute want

minami, being the journalist she is, are one of the only few people that knows you a bit better than most

after all, she was handpicked by the l/n family to be one of the few media representation for your first ever media debut

it was groundbreaking for her career

and it also broke the entirety of japan

you had revealed then that you will not be accepting any courting, and offers of marriage because you had already found the person you'd spend your life with

no one knew who you were talking about

she remembered the massive wave of investigation happening shortly after the publication of that interview done by... everyone, really

no one ever figured it out who this person was

...or is

maybe she's the first amongst reporters to finally figure it out

"at least let me take the first picture for memory's sake!" exclaimed minami with an embarrassed expression.

"perfectly fair," voiced ukyo and gen.

ryusui laughed, raising his hand in the air. "i'm buying the photo, model rights, and all!" he declared.

minami turned to him, angry, baring teeth. "why should the first photo be yours?!"

"what are you talking about?" he asked. "it's a record of the beginning of technological civilization. it should be senku, obviously. am i right?"

senku owlishly stared at ryusui and minami.

"an exhibit at the nanami museum, representing the history of the new world." ryusui walked over to where senku stood with all the other cameras.

senku stuck a pinky into his ear. "what are you talking about?" he asked. "if anything, the first picture should be y/n." a wave of silence rose amongst the revived people. they know fully well that what senku had said was absolutely correct.

but they also know that it won't be possible right now.

the scientist sighs, breaking the silence. "it's too bad she's frozen shut right now," he mocked casually with a teasing grin.

"i think you're the only one who can joke about her like that," gen commented with a slightly awkward chuckle.

in the end, senku had the honors of being the first person photographed in the stone age, posing the famous einstein pose and minami had the honors of photographing the first picture in the stone age

but that wasn't the only thing that she got from this

she's always listening, you know? and there was one thing that stood out from the banter around her

no one in japan would have the courage, the boldness to joke around your name like senku had just did

not to your face nor behind your back

and yet senku, being the man of knowledge he is, is bold enough to do so

why is that?

was gen right?

that senku really is the only person who can joke about you like that?

since the surrender of tsukasa, there were many rumors she had heard about the two of you and it was all the same thing

that you and senku have something going on

she refuses to believe those rumors

she's a journalist—she shouldn't be believing in those rumors!

her motto is to find the truth

and the truth she will find sooner or later (when she gets the guts to ask you)

when they found the oil, obviously they had to test it out

gen was the one conducting the test drive (because he's the only one with drivers license)

then taiju dropped by, getting a whiff of that oily smell

"hey! it's the love potion," commented taiju. "are you going to give it to someone, senku?"

the people there were confused on what taiju had meant. "what are you talking about, taiju-chan?" asked gen.

"you made some for me that day, remember?" taiju says as his mind took him back to the day it all started. "so that i would have the confidence to confess to yuzuriha. you also said it worked out for you and y/n because of it. it was the last moment we had before we all got petrified."

senku ended up cackling afterwards. "i did! i said that! i told you it was a love potion! you still believe that, you meathead?! that was gasoline!"

"what?! it was?!"

"also, no way in hell would i ever use something on y/n unless she forces me in another of her batshit insane experiments," senku deadpanned. "but if you think it smells the same with no prior knowledge—"

now, gen is totally one to assume

and what senku said kind of sounded like an implication...

in both that way and a completely different way

although, if it was that way then, knowing senku, he would have never mentioned it

so it was probably an actual batshit insane thing

why does gen feel like his image of you will be changed while they're here

a small moment of reference when yo was whispering some shit to gen, pinning senku as some sort of mad lad

well, he kind of is but...

"i'm pretty sure he's wack," whispered yo to gen. both sweating.

"nah, y/n's the one who's wack between she and i. i've still got my mind intact, just barely," senku retorted, looking back at the two.

when valentines came, gen had an interesting answer to his question

"ah, valentine's day," mused gen as kohaku repeated it, confused. "yeah, events are important. for the drago—i mean, for the morale."

senku and yuzuriha went out of the laboratory, handing out the chocolates. gen turned to senku with a question in mind. "do you give chocolates to y/n-chan, senku-chan?"

senku shook his head. "nah, y/n doesn't really like them," he answered which shocked gen. "she'd rather have things that she could wear or practical gifts."

see

look at that

that gave a lot to gen

senku practically confirmed that he gives gifts to you!

and also does so on VALENTINES

if that's not confirmation of being a couple, he doesn't know what is

but then again...

like he had thought before, it doesn't feel like the two you are just boyfriend and girlfriends

but what other kind of relationship would still condone in the valentines romance gift giving?

shouldn't there be some kind of answers by now?

then after they took the group photo with the finished ship

senku looked a bit... down? contemplated?

it was strange to see

why would he be feeling down?

it was quite obvious as well

"are you unsatisfied about the pictures, senku?" asked minami, holding her camera.

"nah, i don't care about that," answered senku.

"then what's got you so down, senku-chan?" asked gen.

senku stared off in the direction of where the tsukasa empire was with a somber look. gen immediately understood from that alone. "take lots of pictures when y/n comes back, journalass," senku told her as he walked off towards the ship.

everyone knew that you barely had any pictures

after all, you were called the hidden treasure of japan

you probably told senku how you felt about it, and he remembers

gen thought it was sweet

minami felt herself gushing about it

when ryusui called upon the people who were needed on the expedition, it was gen's turn to come aboard.

and, to be perfectly clear, tsukasa was left behind by choice because he felt obliged to protect the kingdom of science since most of the battle team were coming along to the perseus

"uh, you don't need me, do you?" asked gen, frantically. "i've got the strength of a bean sprout."

"we don't know what kinds of enemies we're going to meet. what good is a mentalist if they aren't there when that happens, dumbass?" explained senku. "i'd have y/n instead of you if she wasn't being frozen away like a piece of salami."

the modern people felt cultural shock at the casual way of senku playing around your name, but at the same time they feel that they should get used to it.

"ah so i'm just a second choice, huh?" mused gen as he trekked up towards the ship.

"of course you are," senku answered without thinking. "it's always y/n first to me."

the crowd who watched the take off of the ship awed at the display of loyalty senku accidentally announced. gen started grinning, knowing full well that he caused senku to slip like that. senku then grimaced at what he said even thought it's true.

maybe senku should dial back a bit...

ryusui also knows now that you're very much alive somewhere in the kingdom of science

he just doesn't know why you're not physically present

also, did his ears deceive him or did senku just practically confess his feelings for you?

but it wasn't that...

judging from the way the people present cooed at his confession and how gen was smirking like he set it up on purpose

was there something else between the two of you?

this time, it was yuzuriha who shared something about you

"these kinds of people are always dying to show you the machines they tuned the hell out of," says nikki, looking sympathetic.

"they won't let you go until their done," kohaku added.

"i'll be alright!" yuzuriha clarified, making kohaku and nikki shocked. "i always sat through senku-kun's five hour rocket lectures and stuff."

"we have a veteran here!" exclaimed nikki, still looking shock with kohaku.

yuzuriha laughs at that. "if you think i'm a veteran, then y/n must be something else! she always did listen to him..." she mused with a fond smile.

senku smiled as well from that comment.

yuzuriha may not be as close to you as she is to senku, but she completely adores you!

...after getting over the fact that you're the y/n l/n

you were like... any other person, just a bit clueless in other areas

actually, you were a lot like senku in a lot of ways

it's a good portion of the reason why the two of you have the relationship that you two have grown to have

this time, gen was the one to first mention you to amaryllis

albeit in a more... implied upbringing

despite not actually knowing if you two are intertwined or not

but he's very confident that you two are

"that kind of attack isn't going to work on senku-chan," he says. "he's already married, you know?"

and then he went scummy

to which kohaku shouted and hit at him for

and then she later scolded herself after forcing a kiss on senku to save her own ass

she kneeled on the ground and slammed her head on the floor in a dogeza position, facing the direction of ishigami village. "i am sorry, y/n. i will be held responsible for this action, and i will allow you to give me whatever punishment is deemed necessary."

senku sighed, sticking a finger in his pinky, looking exasperated. "y/n's reasonable, calm down, she won't be that mad." his eyes looking far away in the same direction as if thinking of something himself for you.

while senku was making conditioner for kohaku, he mentions you

"y/n's actually been nagging me about making hair stuff for a while now," senku commented while making the hair products. "she always had this specific routine for her hair."

amaryllis didn't know who you are. "is she the one who's married to him?" she asked gen.

"yes," he answered. "y/n-chan is a very powerful person. she's probably even stronger than the strongest soldiers here on the island."

"really?!"

senku glanced at the implied threat gen displayed with an unamused look, but let him does so anyways. it's true, after all.

when amaryllis tried to girlie-fy the boys,

"you know, y/n would actually be impressed that you could fake being a girl like that," senku mentions, crossing his arms on his chest after washing off the makeup on his face.

"really?"

"she'd probably even call you—in her words—a tall baddie." senku made a grimace as he said that.

then when the two girls and one boy dressed like a girl left, gen mentioned your name to start a conversation

"if only we have y/n-chan, huh?" gen comments.

senku shook his head. "nah, she wouldn't do that," he says. "although if she was here, she'd probably go all stealth instead."

"are they really..."

"i'm not answering any questions you have about them."

"so you do know!"

gen was inspecting the earpiece, amazed and shocked by how simple it can be done

and then, of course, senku mentions you

"it was y/n who actually taught me how to make that," senku commented. "i don't know why she bothered learning to make one when she could literally buy the best one, but she said she liked how simple and cosmetic it can be if made like this. though, i'm glad she taught it to me now because it certainly useful for this."

"of course this is y/n-chan's design, not yours," says gen, holding it up in front of him.

as senku looked through the pile of gold dust

as the pile of platinum grew

it was the first time he felt vulnerable since you had been frozen shut

he isn't one to be all emotional, but at moments like these... it really showed just how much care byakuya had for him

senku scoffs. "if y/n was here, she'd be bawling her eyes out," he says, his eyes a bit glassy himself.

"you counting seconds all that time, and your papa collecting sand for decades..." gen looked wistful. "you two are alike."

once the team were able to make the revival fluid, the thought of reviving their stoned comrades were first in the list

senku ordered kohaku to cleanly cut the greedy captain when given the chance

afterwards, ryusui's stone parts were delivered to them

"i've always known you're ridiculously rational, but... but still you're practically psycho at this point!" screamed gen after figuring out what's happening.

senku shook his head with a smirk. "nah, y/n's the psycho one between us," he corrected. "if she was given parts like these, she'd be experimenting, mix-and-matching them. i'd be the only one to get her to stop."

"every time you say things about y/n-chan that she's a psycho and all, it ruins the image i have of her and i can't help but not believe you," gen bluntly replied. "except you're the only one that knows who she really is, so i have to believe you."

senku cackled.

when kohaku was fighting against moz, all she could think about was how he's nothing compared to you

"i like strong girls, too, as long as they have a pretty face," he says as he took out the machete out of his weapon. "what kind of men do you like, kohaku-chan? how about me? i'm strong as hell."

the girl let out a sigh, then tied her hair up to her usual ponytail while crouching down. "strength is strength of mind," she states, making him slightly confused. "to be able to continue hammering a wedge for as long as it takes to carry out one's will. that's the kind of person i'm drawn to."

her pose changed to a battle stance. "well~ this is a problem, moz. you seem to be the exact opposite," she tells him. "and compared to him?" she scoffs. "actually, compared to her? you're nothing. literally. she's stronger than both of us combined, actually, stronger than anyone else on this island."

"i don't know who you're referring to, but you're cute, kohaku-chan. just not cute enough though."

did kohaku just imply something

AND

maybe come out of the closet?

maybe

maybe not

who knows

but she really wasn't lying

moz really is nothing compared to the people she admires and respects the most

as the parts of the gun was laid out on the table, the people from the 21st century had recognized it

of course they did, after all,

"this is what made men and women, young and old, all of humanity, all of homo sapiens, the apex predators. it's the invention of the gods and demons, and even then, humans who owns these rank higher than what we can see on the pyramid," senku states as kaseki finished the building of the gun.

"we, humans, may be on top of the food chain, but once given some source of power? we become our own enemies. and we all know who's at the top here in japan." he lets out a teasing smirk as some let out a sigh, knowing who he's talking about.

"tools are neither gods nor demons," ukyo says. "it's up to the person to determine how it's used."

"then let's be damn glad that our rulers didn't use these to become demons," cackled senku as he just had to make a joke.

both gen and yuzuriha let out a loud sigh.

ukyo decided to ignore the misplaced joke, and continue with what he was going to say anyways.

then later on when ryusui asked who would wield the gun...

senku turned his head towards the stoned yu. "if i had continued my gun lessons with y/n, maybe i can, but compared to the only police officer? yeah, he's better off with it." then he hummed, turning to his two childhood friends. "how about you two? any of you comfortable wielding a gun? i know you both got lessons from y/n also."

yuzuriha shook her head. "well, it's best to just leave it with yu... my lessons with y/n were more of for self-defense," she says.

"i also think it's better for yu to handle it. he's the professional," taiju says. "y/n tried to teach me, but i just always end up using my hands during the mock fights."

gen, ukyo, and ryusui turned to the trio in different waves of shock.

"i wonder how those lessons went knowing your non-existent strength, senku-chan," gen mused.

the scientist rolled his eyes.

it was actually pretty shocking to hear that the trio had gun lessons with YOU

like what an honor??

but it also makes sense for none of the trio to pick up on it since they've already had pretty different skill sets; a gun just didn't fit within it

it was also kind of scary to think about it

everyone knows that the l/n family are all skilled and powerful people

each person had a different skill set honed and trained to the absolute perfection, and that the regime it took to get there was of on a entirely different level

to hear that you had taught those three a small part of your regime,

just how hard was it?

it was an honor, but at the same time, no normal person can probably handle the regime of a l/n

when the team saw that the islanders were getting evacuated

it was a sign that ibara planned to petrify the entire island

"w-we're in huge trouble!" exclaimed suika in a panic.

"nah, just the opposite," senku says with a confident smirk. "when the going gets tough, the tough get going. we might be able to take all of it. the enemy, the kingdom, and the medusa!"

he starts cackling. "oh, y/n, you could've been so damn useful here, why'd you just have to go and get punctured," he sighs with a shake of his head.

ukyo looked at senku in nervousness. "why does it seem like you always have to insult her situation?" he rhetorically asks.

yuzuriha chuckles. "you'll get used to it," she says with a sympathetic smile. "it's his way of showing his love to her."

ukyo thinks that he'll never get used to it

he was one of the people that didn't know the dynamic between you and senku since your accident had happened right when the stone war ended

it's not like he doesn't believe that you two are together, it's just that he's the type to have to hear/see it to believe it

he still have that image of you in his head

that you're someone like tsukasa, except way dangerous and way scarier

it also doesn't help that you and your family are probably the only people that can get past his enhanced hearing

it's easy to say that he's afraid of you

which is why every time senku goes and makes fun of your accident, it gives him whiplash

this time yuzuriha was the one to think of you as she stared at the broken stone fragments of the master of the island

"it isn't over yet," she says. "we have to keep thinking, and keep going; that's what i learned from him... her... from them! we still have some adhesive senku-kun made for us in the kingdom of science." her eyes glistening as she darted from piece to piece.

you and senku are one of the most goal-oriented people she knows

senku will not stop until he completes what he needs to do

and you will not stop until you get what you want

it's almost scary

and when senku freed hyoga as their last resort

"we weren't cornered," senku tell ibara with a smooth confident voice despite the sweat dripping from his face. "we had you corner us into this particular room." with that, he dropped the glass of revival fluid.

of course, gen felt like he needed to mention you to get hyoga to fight for their side. "also, don't forget that if anything happens to senku, y/n-chan will have you head," he whispered out, loud enough for hyoga to hear. "i wonder what'll happen to you after seeing her dearly beloved bleeding out."

senku sighed and shook his head at the shit gen is saying, but he can't oppose to it because it's true.

the only reason hyoga was able to inflict a critical hit on you is because you were protecting tsukasa's sister. and so what if you weren't protecting anyone AND anger engulfed you?

it's safe to say that no one wants to feel the true wrath of a member of the l/n family, much less from you

"i'm alone," senku says out loud as he watched the sun set off in the distance. his back heavy from the phone, his body aching from tiredness, and his shoulder throbbing with dried blood. his eyes glistened in nostalgia as his memories of the early stone world passes through his mind. "again. i'm alone again..."

the phone rings, shocking him out of his pondering.

"can you hear me, senku-san?" called ruri from the other side. "how are things over there, senku-san?"

he stared at the phone in front of him. a smirk slipping through his lips. "no," he changes his mind. "i'm not alone this time." he then quietly added,

"i also have someone i need to go home to."

as the topic of ruri and the mainland was brought up while they ate, taiju had lots to say

"is this ruri girl chrome's girlfriend or ex or something?" amaryllis asked francois, excited to hear some juicy details about her new allies/friends.

"no, i'm told that she is senku-sama's former wife," they answered.

taiju looked absolutely shocked, shaking from the news. "what?!" he exclaimed, really loud. "when did you get married, senku?! weren't you going to marry y/n?!?!" he shook the scientist by the collar.

senku had his fingers in his ears the entire time, not phased, but annoyed. he's used to the loudness of taiju after all. "just for three minutes! we got divorced right away," he explained.

that only fueled taiju more, shaking the scientist once again. "what?! when did you get divorced, senku!? was y/n okay with this?!"

"okay! okay!" senku exclaimed as he took the hands off of his collar. "i just said we got divorced right away! also, y/n was fine with it! it was ages ago."

now, francois isn't one to oblige in gossip especially when it's related to you

but when taiju implied that you and senku are betrothed, they can't help but wonder

are you and senku really engaged to each other?

they had seen how normal engaged couples are, but the two of you don't seem to act like that

but then again, you're, y/n l/n and he's, senku ishigami

not one is normal

the small group now stared at the trashed upper control room located on the perseus

chrome was fuming. "those assholes made a damn mess! they didn't even know what they were dealing with! bastards!" he ranted as he stomped onto the floorboards.

"now's not the time to be getting all salty," senku piped up as he stuck a pinky into his ear.

"actually, i've never seen senku truly angry," taiju says, smiling at his comment.

"no, i get angry. i'm not a saint. i'm just too busy to," interrupted the scientist. "and y/n definitely seen me angry a few times."

later on, when they finally de-petrified kohaku and ginro

instead of giving ginro a hug, kohaku ran to senku, giving the scientist a hug

ginro was mad about it, but who cares about him and his pervy ways

kirisame was blushing at the sight of kohaku hugging senku. albeit, him not reciprocating that, but receiving it with a smile and soft eyes anyways.

"oh right. kirisame-chan, you think they're in a legit relationship, don't you?" gen says. "senku's actually in a relationship with someone else. kohaku's actually breaking a lot of rules doing this."

"i don't think that's what that hug is about," says amaryllis. "not between those two."

"it better not be," screamed gen, purposely gaining kohaku's attention.

kohaku broke the hug off with senku. "i almost died!" she exclaimed to gen. "let me be relieved of surviving!"

then she kneeled to the ground and made a dogeza once again at the direction of the ishigami village. "i also assure you, y/n, that that hug was nothing. i would never do you like that. i would choose you over him any day," she stated as senku rolled his eyes while both gen and nikki laughed.

"you got that right, kohaku!" nikki hollered.

later at night, once the team finished de-petrifying the islanders and the rest of their people, a party of celebration was happening at the deck of the perseus

ginro and suika found senku and his team down at the lower half of the control room where the comms are

as senku bluntly asked what ruri needed, amaryllis was shocked

"eh?? isn't this your first time talking to your former wife after all that's happened on the island?" she lets out.

"that's senku for you," is all kohaku says.

"who cares about the former wife, he's already got a current wife to think about much less than a former one," retorted gen, making kohaku hit his head.

"that's my sister you're talking about."

on a cliff, some of the battle team gathered

kohaku and kirisame stood in front of each other

ginro, kinro, nikki, and kokuyo were stationed at the side, as the audience

"now that we know why-man is our enemy, our job as the battle team is no longer to investigate," kohaku announced as the leader of the said team. "it's to train for the inevitable battle!"

ginro lets out a frightened screech. "we just defeated the petrification kingdom! this is even scarier!"

kohaku and kirisame took a stance, then lounged for each other. the two neck and neck in skill. those watching couldn't help but be in awe at the sight of the dance.

"they're evenly matched!" exclaimed nikki.

"they're both incredible," kokuyo lets out.

"you're strong," kirisame says in between strikes. "you were holding back the last time we fought, weren't you?"

kohaku scoffs. "i wasn't going easy on you. i would never be disrespectful. i apologize. i was simply not accustomed to moving around in a dress."

ginro then bursts out a scream that he held in during the entire duration of the spar, freezing the two girls in shock. he then also ran away.

kohaku shook her head at ginro. "i won't be able to teach you more than you already know since you and i fairly the same in combat skill. the only person who can teach all of us more techniques is y/n, and hopefully when senku heals her, she'll continue lessons."

"y/n? is this the person you were apologizing for?" asked kirisame.

"she's better than all of us combined," is all kohaku said as her gaze stared at the direction of the ishigami village with a sparkling look in her eyes.

a small blush slowly flushed on kirisame's cheeks the more she stared at the way kohaku looked.

it was quite an intimate look that kohaku gave

kirisame noticed it was the same one she had gave to senku

after building the windmill, chrome looked around and wondered for senku

it took a while for him to figure out where the mad scientist could have gone, but he finally found senku

opening the door to the mobile lab, chrome immediately asked, "yo, senku, what the hell are you doing all by yourself?"

senku managed to let out a chuckle. "working on an exhilarating craft," he managed to say pass his crusty lips.

"oh, shit!" chrome screamed at the shocking sight of a dehydrated and crusty senku.

senku downed a few bottles of water which made his complexion slowly come back. he lets out an exhale after drinking. "completely forgotten about hydrating. got too used to having y/n take care of that for me," he absentmindedly mentions.

senku and chrome continued to talk about the plans that senku had for later during the night.

chrome could tell that senku missed you

how could he not have noticed?

everyone practically knows also!

senku always somehow mentions you at least once a day

he never thought senku could be so damn clingy...

it takes him back to the times he witnessed the two of you intimate moments

they really need to come and revive you already

he could never get used to that empty space next to senku

later at night, a small festival was being held at the beach

the lights dimmed, gaining the attention of all

"do you hear me, all?" chrome exclaimed from the speakers. "we're gonna show you something that's going to leave the whole of treasure island speechless and wanting more! rainbow bridge, max level!"

a few seconds later, fireworks shot out into the sky.

senku stared at the night sky that bloomed an array of fireworks, imprinting their colorful displays for all to see. his eyes glistened with nostalgia, a memory popping into mind.

"hey, senku, do you think you could show these back in mainland?" asked kohaku who now stood next to him.

senku turned to her, the memory fainting away. "maybe, we'll see," he replies.

"would you change your mind if i mention that you could see these again with y/n standing by your side next time?" she retorted.

he hummed. "i was just thinking about her," he revealed, quietly. "the first time she saw fireworks, she was with me and byakuya. i could already see her whining about not being there for the first fireworks in this stone world." he scoffs, then lets out a sigh. "fine, we'll do it again at mainland."

kohaku smiled a teasing grin.

a little later, after the firework show, senku stood in front of the treasure tree. he heard footsteps behind him that got closer, and closer. "why are you here?" he asked without looking back.

"just an early morning stroll," answered kohaku. "is it not the same for you?"

"thousands of years ago, byakuya and the other astronauts set foot here for the first time in an utterly deserted new world," senku quietly says as his eyes glistened. "though they've long since turned to dirt, aside from a few fragments of rock."

kohaku scoffs as she quickly and easily climbed up the tree. "that's not true!" she exclaimed as she walked over to where the treasure laid. "you, i, and everyone else will someday die and return to dust, but their will is passed down, refined, and carried on into the future."

senku stared at kohaku who now stood at the small entrance way of the treasure. "isn't that what humanity calls 'science'? that's what you and y/n taught me, senku," she says, looking down at him.

he chuckled, feeling a bit lighter. "yeah, that's right. we're going way farther than those goofy astronauts. we're going to the moon," he stated. "and y/n will be stoked to hear it; she always did love the moon."

kohaku jumped down from the top of the tree, now standing on an elevated root. "it's not true that byakuya and his team left nothing behind. in fact, they connected everything for us," she mentioned.

senku didn't reply, but instead added, "typical, i mean, he's always done the connecting."

kohaku didn't understand what senku had meant when he said that

there are many things about senku... about you that she doesn't know about

some day, she'd like to know more about the two of you

the perseus landed

people started talking about the missing cracks

chrome immediately showed the medusa

"does that mean that mean she'll finally wake up?" tsukasa asked, stepping forward.

senku chuckled as he walked down. "yeah, let's get her out of that damn cold sleep already. our hidden treasure of japan, y/n l/n." the scientist may have not said anything else regarding you after that, but they all knew how much he wanted you to stand next to him again.

"we say cold sleep, but really, we just froze her..." commented gen.

"yeah, like an ice cube," cackled senku. "i bet you she wasn't even asleep most of the time, but suffering from the cold. she hates the cold."

gen sighs at yet another tease towards you.

"that's not the real problem though, is it? you can always trust a sailor's gut," ryusui piped up, then his eyes narrowed on the scientist. "when ibara jabbed you... senku, given how pragmatic you are, you would have healed yourself immediately with the dr. stone set. am i right? yet the crack in your forehead is still there. in other words, you didn't use it. you saved it for... y/n. why?"

"oh right, you don't know, ryusui-chan?" gen asked. "y/n-chan and senku-chan are intertwined. of course, he'd rather heal his y/n-chan over himself."

some people silently laughed knowing that it's true. ryusui, however, looked shocked. there were many implications, but never a confirmation. senku didn't say anything regarding his relationship with you, though, instead he had a different reason.

"actually, the medusa is out of battery."

that gained everyone's attention.

"that thing runs on batteries?!" exclaimed taiju, next to senku.

senku chuckled. "dunno," he says. "and we don't exactly have the luxury of smashing it open to have a look-see inside. but it is using some kind of energy. the one thing that could never happen is for it to make energy out of nothing."

he turned his head to a certain girl. "kirisame," he called out. "is the petrification beam's area specified in radii?"

"yes, why?" she answered.

"when i stoned ibara, i specified five meters. but the petrification beam barely made maybe a meter and a half."

kirisame looked taken aback. "that's impossible!" she argued. "it's never deviated in size..." then her eyes dilated as some form of realization dawned onto her. "...it's out of energy?" she lets out in shock.

here they are in the cave where you were put to sleep

senku, chrome, kohaku, taiju, yuzuriha, gen, ginro, kinro, ryusui, nikki, ukyo, and matsukaze

chrome lifted the lid of the makeshift freezer making the cold fog explode that slowly dispersed to the floor, revealing your pale cold body.

senku walked over to stand next to you. he stared at you as his eyes glistened with memories. he absentmindedly raised his hand to your face, leaving a lingering touch. his thumb caressing your cold cheek.

the small intimate moment of affection really caught ryusui off guard

senku's eyes always held conviction

after all, his eyes are the most transparent part of him

yet ryusui never saw it that soft and so full of love before

he honestly thought that gen was messing with him

but this?

seeing it for himself really changed everything

kohaku approached and stood next to senku, holding the medusa. the two turned to each other, their eyes making contact. no words were exchanged. senku gave a nod as kohaku then bent down and placed the medusa in the space of your clasped hands.

taiju walked over and took senku's hand and placed it on top of yours. "senku! hold y/n's hand with all you've got!"

senku looked taken aback. "what?" he lets out.

"i see!" exclaimed kohaku. "if you hold her really close to the device, it might give her just a little more of the light."

"that's seriously not going to make a difference," senku retorted, but a small smile formed on his face. "fine, whatever, and if i get caught in the beam, it'll heal my wounds and cracks too; perfect."

yuzuriha then walked over, standing next to taiju. she placed her hand on his shoulder, giving him a smile. then she removed it and placed it on top of yours. kohaku and chrome, too, placed their hand on top of yours.

"one meter, one second."

the green light engulfed you as your skin slowly turned to stone. the others pulled back their hands while senku immediately took the vial of revival fluid and pours it on you. the stone skin cracked and fragments fell, both stone and ice.

you sat right up as you screamed, "senku!" then you stood up and out of the freezer, tackling him into a hug.

"did they hurt you?" he asked as he pushed away and cupped your face with one hand.

your eyes widen as a big smile formed on your face. the others were confused by what senku had meant. "no, no, i'm okay," you answered as you placed a hand over his. "did they hurt you?"

"who cares."

"i do!"

you and senku then bursts out laughing.

"sorry, what just happened?" gen managed to ask. "what was that?"

taiju and yuzuriha were chuckling as well. "every time they reunite, they always reference steven universe," yuzuriha explained. "i think it was one of the first things that y/n watched with senku."

"that gem cartoon from the states?" gen asks, but then he immediately hums afterwards. "no, wait, that makes sense."

you turned your head to kohaku with a smile and soft eyes. her eyes glistened as she stared at yours. you extended your arms as she ran into them. nuzzling her nose into your chest while you tightened your hold.

a second later, you pulled back and turned back to senku. "so what's our situation now?" you asked.

"she only just woke up," says matsukaze in awe.

"i've heard around that that's how she is," commented nikki. "always working like him."

"although, i think that she's more serious and formal than him," ukyo mentions. ryusui nods his head, agreeing with ukyo.

"we're attacking the moon!" exclaimed senku with a not-so-serious face.

you owlishly blinked at senku, then a huge excited toothy wide grin formed on your face. "ah! no way really?!" you squealed as you clasped your hands together which caught the others off guard. "senku, darling, it's your dream!" you engulfed the man into a tight hug that lifted him off the ground. if anyone caught onto that affectionate name, no one mentioned it.

he pushed you away. "we've got company, y/n, calm down," he tells you with a lazy smirk on his face.

"who cares about the company!" you retorted. "tell me: are we blowing up the moon?" you asked looking like a child that just got permission to do something they've always wanted to do.

"what?! no!" screamed out senku. "this is a mistake. maybe i should make tsukasa the soldier for the moon."

"wait, honey, no! i'm kidding!"

"i take back what i said," ukyo says in absolute awe and shock with ryusui, nikki, and matsukaze also looking hella shocked.

"yeah, my image of her is completely ruined," mentioned gen.

it was then you caught sight of new faces. "oh, hello," you formally greeted with a short bow. "i don't think i've met you guys yet. although, your face is familiar. i apologize, but could you relay your name to me again?" you gestures your entire palm at ryusui.

the four felt a wave of whiplash at the sudden change in tone and demeanor of the person in front of them; a very important person they may add.

"h-hello, i'm nikki," she greeted, really nervously.

"ah, you're the woman on the phone. i'm glad to see another woman on the battle team." you smiled at her as she nodded, freezing up and pink dusting her cheeks.

"i'm ukyo," he says, raising his hand up.

"yes! the one with good hearing. i'm pleased to see you on this side now," you tell him as he gave a loopy smile, his cheeks a bit faint of red.

"ryusui nanami," he bowed, taking your hand into his and giving a light peck on it.

your eyes widen at the familiar gesture and at the name. "ah, one of the sons of the nanami conglomerate," you acknowledged, then you realized something.

"wait!" you turned around to senku. "you guys built a boat?! just how many things did i miss?"

this time, gen spoke up, "i'll tell you all about it."

"hello, gen," you greeted with a slight smirk. "you're not walking on eggshells around me anymore," you stated as you looked him, up and down. "what changed?"

gen shook his head as he chuckled. "senku ruined your image for me," he says, making you coo.

"aw, senku, you still have that habit?"

"shut up."

this is when ginro decided to speak up. "senku, i just figured it out!" he exclaimed, his face being way too overly arrogant. "you hurried back to y/n because you were worried she was going to spoil in the freezer, right? i know you hate all that mushy stuff, though!" his elbow jabbing into senku's neck.

"he's absolutely tackless!" says kohaku.

"well, if he just wanted someone super strong, he could've taken my top student—i mean, guard, matsukaze-kun." ginro really got carried away.

matsukaze stared at you

he was wondering why you were considered the strongest

he honestly thought it was that tsukasa man

that man was trained to the absolute limit, he could tell with one look

but you?

you didn't look like you were trained like tsukasa was

he stepped towards you and gave a bow, staying in that position. "my name is matsukaze," he greeted. "y/n-dono, if it would be all right, i would like to challenge you once you are well."

you looked at the new face in glee. "oh? then how about now? let's go outside," you tell him. "oohh~ this is fun! i never had anyone challenge me before."

"gee, i wonder why," mused gen, already knowing the outcome of this fight.

matsukaze now understands why you're the strongest here and not tsukasa

you had defeated him with a single finger

a single finger that you used on his forehead to stop his lunge and forcefully push him to the ground

your leaking bloodlust and monotone stare caused him to freeze on the ground, too speechless and afraid to move

you blinked your eyes and your demeanor changed, reverting to what it once was before the fight. "oh my, i apologize, matsukaze," you tell him as you extended a hand to him. "you challenged me," is all you say.

he politely took your hand as you helped him up. he bowed down to you and say, "i am defeated."

"you're a very capable man, and i'm glad to have new members for the battle team," you tell him.

ginro is now humbled

"since the device is out of battery, senku's crack will never go away now," says suika as she walked over to in front of him

"no!" you exclaimed with a huff as if you were child who were having a tantrum.

people slowly turned to you. senku sighs, feeling like he knows what you're going to say.

"i like the stone cracks!" you announced as you walked over to senku. you then traced the lines on his forehead. "it gives him character and he looks... really... good with them."

"y/n..." senku called with a warning tone. "did that freezer like give you a damn concussion or something?"

you laughed as you just give him a hug. you arms around his shoulders, your head burying into his neck. he sighed and hugged you back with one arm that rubbed your back in a comforting way.

this is when gen was like "why should senku-chan get all the fun?" leading to everyone else getting back their petrification cracks

you included of course, after you had stopped clinging onto senku like a koala

although some people didn't forget the small public display of affection you and senku shared, in fact, it really caught them off guard

ukyo, ryusui, nikki, and tsukasa aren't used to it

you were acting like a clingy girlfriend that hadn't seen her boyfriend in months

and senku is acting like a boyfriend who's nonchalant about his girlfriend's clinginess, but everyone knows just how much he missed you!

two people with the most specific personality and a reputation to uphold, and yet here they are soft for each other

it's strange

but at the same time, it felt right

ukyo was down at the control room, double checking everything in case the islanders from treasure island had touched anything else

he thought no one else was on board besides some who would drop of supplies then leave afterwards

but then he heard you

...and senku

he looked around and saw that no one was on the surface, so the two of you were probably below nearby, in one of the rooms

"what was with you awhile ago?" senku asked.

"what do you mean?" you asked back.

"you..." ukyo could hear the hesitation in senku's voice. "did you not think that we... that i—!" a tremble in the scientist's voice. "were you... unsure of ever waking up?" he finally managed to ask. his voice whispering by the end.

a pause. all ukyo could hear was the breathing and the beating of two people. he could hear the anxiousness from each one.

"senku..." you called, softly in a whisper as well. "you need to understand that..." your voice trembling. "that i wasn't expecting you to find the medusa that quick. those months in the cold dark, i was preparing myself not to see you again for who knows how long."

you inhaled a shaky breath. your heart beating rapidly. "i know that those few months were nothing compared to the time we were apart in stone, but at least we both knew that the other was alive—!" your voiced cracked.

"just when you and i were together again, the stone world takes it away once more. how cruel is that?" you let out a shaky fake laugh.

"i could have died in my sleep, senku," you croaked out to him, sniffling and trembling. your breathing became rigid as senku's became heavy. you were probably crying at this point.

both of your hearts were beating so fast as well.

"no," senku says with full on denial. "no, y/n, you would have not died. y/n, you would have not fucking died!" he screamed out.

"what do you know?!" you screamed back at him. "i was the one in that damn freezer. i know what my body felt like throughout those damn fucking months. you know how my—" you took a deep breath. "my body felt like it was on it's way to death!"

"hah~ shit," you exhaled a shaky breath. "maybe i have already died, and i'm just wishing that you were next to me." a thud to the floor then rapid footsteps, ukyo heard.

"y/n, y/n, shit— don't do this— fuck! i'm here, y/n, i'm real. dammit y/n—! i'm right here!" senku screamed out in reassurance.

then ukyo heard a desperate kiss shared between the two.

ukyo left the perseus in a daze at what he heard

he could hear the emotions the two of you felt during the entirety of that

it was strong

to the point that he could feel it as well

"ukyo-chan?" called gen. "did something happen on the perseus? why are you crying?"

ukyo raised his hand and wiped his cheeks. it's true, he's crying. "um..." he hesitated. "senku and... y/n-san are..."

gen widen his eyes then it softened. "let's leave those two be for now," he says. "it must've been hard for them both. i've never seen them apart from each other for that long."

ukyo fully believes it now

that you two are together

even before the kiss had happen

masterlist ; loyalty built from love (part 1) a/n: i'm actually not as proud of this one compared to part 1, but that last bit? yeah, i like it part 3 will happen when the next season comes

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paper-mario-wiki · 1 year ago

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genuine question coming from someone who is trying their best to support palestine but can't stomach condoning hamas's actions. how can you justify the murder of civilians and sexual violence that happened on october 7th? i know the fight for palestinian liberation is more important but they said orders to rape israeli women came from higher up in hamas. how can we support these people?

I will not be debating people in the notes of this post or in followup asks. I am not an authority on this subject, I am an individual giving commentary as I see it.

Do not attempt to follow this discourse up with intent to own me. You will waste your time and look stupid, I promise. Just unfollow and block me.

If your intent is genuine, and you are sincerely confused, then I will tell you that the first thing you must do is understand that your perspective of what happened on October 7th was not your own. It was made by a committee of communications officials and sold to you by news organizations to implant within you a version of what happened so that you would feel this precise feeling of hesitation, discomfort, and desire to withdraw yourself from the discussion. And that version is often full of blatant, contradictory, and easily fact-checkable lies. Israel knows that it doesn't have to make everyone support its cause to get away with it: if they can make enough people look away while they commit genocide, this too is a victory.

The sexual violence against Israeli women by Hamas has been vastly unsubstantiated, especially in comparison to the verifiable claims of IDF soldiers using sexual violence against Palestinian women. Go to any news articles and you will see "Claims of [number] of Israeli women raped by Hamas". You don't see firsthand reports, and you don't see consistent numbers, just people speaking for this group of unnamed and uncounted women. Further, many of the photos and videos of violence happening to women you see typically attached to these articles have turned out to be verified as Israeli soldiers assaulting Palestinian women during previous conflicts.

And that's another important note: previous conflicts. The date on everyone's mind has been October 7th, because that's when Hamas made an attack on the concert. Make no mistake, this was not the beginning of this conflict. And Palestine was not the aggressor.

Here is a graph of people killed as a result of the ongoing Israeli occupation of Palestine from 2002 to 2014. Notice, if you will, the yellow vs the pale blue. Can you guess which color represents which group? Just kidding you don't have to guess, the graph tells you.

After WW2, the European-Jewish population (which was 90% of the Jewish population at the time) emigrated to their holy land after over 1000 years. This land, now Palestine, had been under control by Muslim kingdoms since around 640 AD. The UN created a proposition following the Holocaust, submitted to create 2 states within Palestine: 54% would go to the Jewish population, and 46% would go to the Arab population. The Palestinian representatives rejected this proposal, but the Jewish representatives agreed, and over the next few years there would be a massive displacement of Muslims during what was called the Nakba; a cataclysmic event that saw 700,000 Palestinians (80% of them) displaced from the territory that the Israeli occupying force had claimed.

Since then there has been an ongoing pushing and cleansing of Palestinians over time. The remaining land that was not stolen during the 1948 mandate has been shrinking as Israel tightens its grip on the land and the people, exerting the force given to it by the United States to completely absorb the area. The process of which has been torturous and extraordinarily traumatic on the Palestinian population.

This map represents generations of murder, rape, and torture of Palestinians. A people who had their land forcefully taken from them, and have been made to be unwilling neighbors with their aggressors ever since. There are countless articles of IDF soldiers and Israeli citizens alike abusing Palestinians. Stealing their homes, starving their children, mocking their faith. This form of violent nationalism is born from Zionism, which was created by secular men, and has existed for less than a single century. The ideals of Zionism can only be seen out with the COMPLETE annihilation of the Palestinian people, something the terroristic Israeli force sees to go through with.

Hamas, at the moment, is fighting for the unconditional freedom of Palestine from their colonizers. We are seeing, in real time, the furious spirit of Palestine resisting what some of the worlds strongest military forces are trying to make to be their final death. In that impossible fight, they are seeing victories in urban warfare, and extreme coordination in guerilla tactics that we haven't seen since the Vietnam war. And during all of that, it has still been verifiably reported that they've been treating hostages well, many of them speaking positively about their time in captivity and expressing extreme dissatisfaction with Netanyahu's cabinet, something reflected in the staggering lack of direct interviews with hostages released.

Let's not mince words here, Hamas is absolutely killing people. Hamas is killing as many IDF soldiers as they possibly can, and yes, even some Israeli civilians have died. While it's true that these number significantly fewer than Palestinian civilian casualties, I'm not bold as to claim that that is not horrible. But this too is the fault of purposeful abuse of civilian population centers by the Israeli government. Ask yourself for a moment:

Why would Israel, being so aware of the horrifying whims of the savage Palestinians, allow a massive open-air concert to happen DIRECTLY on an unpatrolled border between Israel and Palestine? Why too does Israel insist on housing Civilian populations as close to Palestine as possible? They've already showed us: the military uses the deaths of their civilians as warrant to punish Palestinians in any way and to any extent they see fit.

Even if we're discounting the murderous occupier civilians shooting at Palestinian families and forcing them out of their life-long homes, it's still horrible to see otherwise incidentally innocent Israeli civilians die. Innocent death is inherently horrible. But even in a world where what happened on October 7th didn't happen, Israel intended to ensure the death, innocent or not, of all Palestinians who resist giving up their land. Hamas, Palestinian resistance groups, and now other Arab states have chosen to fight against this. Millions of people around the globe have chosen to unite and fight for them for this reason as well. It is why I support Palestine.

When a society lets mass atrocities happen in slow motion over decades, those atrocities become normal. And when those experiencing these atrocities fight back with economical blows of violence, it becomes a shocking disruption to the normal for those who haven't been paying attention, or were born into it; something the west relies on, and has packaged and sold as "terrorism" in the past few decades.

The modern Zionistic body of Israel has been a terroristic, murderous entity since its inception less than 100 years ago.

Do not let yourself be swayed into believing that murder, if done slowly enough, is not murder.

#anon #cw rape #long post

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rafecamerons-national-anthem · 3 months ago

Text

𝐻𝐸𝒜𝒟𝒞𝒜𝒩𝒪𝒩-𝒩𝐼𝒞𝐻𝒪𝐿𝒜𝒮 𝒜𝐿𝐸𝒳𝒜𝒩𝒟𝐸𝑅 𝒞𝐻𝒜𝒱𝐸𝒵 𝒜𝒮 𝒜 𝐵𝒪𝒴𝐹𝑅𝐼𝐸𝒩𝒟

Boyfriend!Nicholas seems to value genuine connections and would likely be the kind of boyfriend who truly listens. He’d remember the small things, your favorite coffee order, a random story you told, or a passing comment about something you love. Whether you’re having a tough day or celebrating a big achievement, he'd be right there with you, offering his full attention.

Boyfriend!Nicholas seems like he enjoys trying new things and living in the moment. He’d want to plan spontaneous weekend getaways or try out new activities together, from hiking to going to concerts. He’d probably be open to exploring both your interests and his, making life feel exciting and unpredictable.

While he may come across as laid back in real life, I imagine Boyfriend!Nicholas as a boyfriend would have a romantic side. He’d surprise you with handwritten notes, flowers "just because," or plan cozy nights where you can binge watch your favorite shows together. The little gestures would mean a lot to him.

Despite his growing fame, he seems pretty grounded and humble. In a relationship, he’d value honesty and clear communication. Boyfriend!Nicholas wouldn’t play games or leave you guessing how he feels; instead, he’d be direct but kind, always working to build a strong foundation of trust.

Boyfriend!Nicholas would be the type of boyfriend who encourages you to chase your dreams and passions. Whether it's supporting your career goals, a personal project, or a hobby, he’d be your biggest cheerleader, helping you stay motivated and believing in you when you doubt yourself.

Boyfriend!Nicholas strikes me as someone who balances being serious and having fun. There would be deep, late night conversations about life and what you both want out of it, but there would also be moments where he just makes you laugh, doing silly impressions or cracking inside jokes.

While not overbearing, Boyfriend!Nicholas would be protective of you in a thoughtful way. He’d be the kind of boyfriend who makes sure you feel safe and respected, standing up for you if needed but never smothering you.

Beyond emotional support, Boyfriend!Nicholas would value meaningful conversations. He’d enjoy discussing books, films, and philosophies that provoke deep thought. He’d ask about your perspectives on things, showing genuine interest in how you see the world. Whether it's debating a plot twist in a show or discussing current events, your intellectual bond would be just as strong as your emotional one.

Boyfriend!Nicholas would definitely have a playful side, teasing you in a lighthearted, affectionate way. He’d make silly bets or jokingly challenge you to random games, like seeing who can cook the best meal or who’s better at a particular sport. He’d probably have a mischievous smile when he’s trying to get you to laugh, making the relationship feel lively and fun.

Boyfriend!Nicholas seems like someone who deeply values family. He’d be the kind of boyfriend who’s excited for you to meet his family and would take an active interest in getting to know yours. He'd likely enjoy spending time at family gatherings and might even get involved in family traditions, showing respect for what’s important to you.

Boyfriend!Nicholas might express his love through acts of service. Whether it’s picking up your favorite snacks after a long day, helping with something you're stressed about, or offering to take care of a task you’ve been dreading, he’d find small ways to make your life easier. His kindness would often show up in practical ways.

Because Boyfriend!Nicholas is artistic and has a background in acting, he’d probably enjoy adding a creative flair to the relationship. Maybe he’d write you a poem, record a cute video message when you’re apart, or plan a surprise date that’s inspired by a favorite movie or shared memory. His creativity would keep the relationship exciting and unpredictable.

Boyfriend!Nicholas would be the kind of boyfriend who fully supports your independence. He’d encourage you to take time for yourself and pursue your own interests and friendships outside of the relationship. He’d understand the importance of maintaining individuality while also building something strong together, never wanting to make you feel smothered or confined.

Boyfriend!Nicholas would likely approach conflict with a calm and patient demeanor. If you ever argued, he’d want to talk things through thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively. He’d make sure that both sides are heard and understood, always striving for a resolution that makes you both feel good about the relationship.

Being someone who seems focused on self care, he’d probably be a positive influence when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle. Boyfriend!Nicholas wouldn’t push it on you but might encourage activities like working out together, eating well, or practicing mindfulness. He’d want you to feel good, physically and mentally, and would be there to support you in that journey.

Though Boyfriend!Nicholas might have a bit of an adventurous streak, suggesting hikes, spontaneous road trips, or trying out new experiences, he’d also have a soft, homebody side. He’d enjoy the balance of adventure and quiet nights in, where you could unwind together with a good movie or book, showing that he doesn’t always need excitement to feel connected.

Boyfriend!Nicholas would likely be someone who fully respects and supports your ambitions. He’d understand if you have busy schedules or demanding projects, and he’d never want to hold you back. In fact, he’d be there to remind you of your strengths when you feel uncertain and would always celebrate your achievements as if they were his own.

#nicholas alexander chavez #nicholas chavez #nicholas chavez x y/n #nicholas chavez x reader #headcanon #Nicholas alexander chavez x reader

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pali-and-proud · 27 days ago

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My finals ended yesterday and I ended up sleeping for 11 hours. I can think again.

I want to take a moment to just talk about perspectives. How Buddy percieves Chase, how Chase percieves Buddy, and how Deacon percieves both.

Buddy's POV of Chase is so beautiful to me because Chase is just such an enigma to him. He's so quick to bicker and insult, and he routinely says the most ridiculous and outlandish things that Buddy can't even respond to, and then he turns around and is so selflessly caring and kind and considerate that it nearly always takes Buddy off-guard. Buddy knows the more about Chase than vice versa, and yet Buddy never seems able to expect what Chase is going to do.

I could be wrong, actually, but I think almost all of their conversations end with or include Buddy being confused by something Chase said, or something Chase did. And Chase is doing it all with a shirt, guys.

Chase's POV of Buddy is nearly the exact opposite. Chase knows NOTHING about Buddy, outside of phobias and fashionware, and Deacon's the one who has to remind him about that. Chase is good at reading people; we already knew that. Chase is GREAT at reading Buddy.

He's aware of Buddy's need for attention. He's aware of Buddy's barbs--knows when Buddy's being mean, and when Buddy's trying to be nice. He's aware that Buddy's situation is concerning enough to warrant outside help, and that Buddy won't ask for it. Buddy isn't really a mystery to him--the only real question is how to get Buddy to trust him. Which is insane, really, since we've seen in the current arc (vampire) that Buddy did genuinely trust Chase.

(I could go so far as to say the only part of Buddy that Chase doesn't easily/accurately understand is how CHASE fits into Buddy's life, but I will digress)

Deacon, though? Ohhhh, Deacon. Deacon's role is SO much more important than I think people give it credit for. Deacon is the only way we get a true outsider's glimpse into Chase (he tells us about Chase's money problems, he explains why Chase loves new stuff, he reminds us that Chase's dream to be a singer/dancer/idol isn't realistic and that Chase logically knows that, and he breaks down some of Chase's quirks.)

Deacon is also, uh, how we see Buddy respond to someone he doesn't have an embarrassingly obvious crush on. It's so easy to forget that Buddy is actively trying to treat Chase better until you see Buddy interact with Deacon for two seconds, in which Buddy's managed to be both smug and/or jealous. Yes I haven't forgotten that Buddy is jealous of Chase's cousin. Yes I do think thats the funniest reoccuring joke.

So Deacon having a really good view of both characters--where he can trust Chase's judgement while also being the logic that Chase sometimes forgoes AND can be cautious of Buddy due to past actions while also understanding that Buddy is more complicated than initial assumptions--it's important because it helps ground the characters.

And in direct contrast: Buddy's dislike of Deacon is completely rooted in his terrible understanding of Deacon's role to Chase. Buddy's first conversation with Deacon is him telling Deacon he should stop doing the stories because he's in over his head, despite Deacon having prepared more than Chase ever did. Buddy continues to yell and berate Deacon for his choice in book, despite Deacon actively choosing books he/Chase would enjoy, which is what you (according to Buddy, at least, and my inferences) should ideally do.

Chase's POV of Deacon is a bit more convoluted, and this post is already pretty long; I don't know if anyone's actually reading all this. He's just such a younger cousin; he doesn't idolize Deacon, but he does expect Deacon to have the answers. They're such older/younger brother coded. From the beginning, Chase has wanted to hang out with Deacon. It's almost tragic, honestly, that Deacon has such a high opinion of Chase that he never really shares, while Chase shows his high opinion of Deacon so often that a completely separate person was able to get jealous.

I took my psych final yesterday. Surely this is what my professors would want me to use my knowledge on.

#cinderella boy #chase hollow #stargoth #i love them guys #these three are my roman empire #someone ask me to elaborate please #i have NOTHING but time and CB and thoughts

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bazingabitch2000 · 2 months ago

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Tori Spring and Michael Holden head canons:

Michael and Tori are both autistic, though they express it differently. Michael's traits appear more outwardly visible, while Tori’s are subtler, perhaps because Solitaire is narrated from her perspective. We see her tendencies through her internal thoughts, actions, and reflections, all filtered through her own lens. I also think Michael may have ADHD as well.

Michael and Tori are in a queerplatonic relationship. It is NOT a romantic or sexual relationship. Their kiss at the book's end feels out of place; their connection doesn’t need that romantic signal. Queerplatonic relationships like theirs are as valid and significant as romantic ones. Michael is Tori's person, and Tori is Michael's person. I think what they have is beautiful, and it shouldn't be meddled with.

Michael is one of the only people who is able to make Tori laugh - and I mean REALLY laugh. She doesn't hide her face so much when she laughs around him. Sometimes, she laughs in spite of him. She can't help but admit that he cracks her up. She secretly loves that. Michael also secretly loves that. Sometimes they'll spend hours laughing until their faces and tummies hurt, and one of them either decides to finally go home, or they both just fall asleep together.

Tori just borrows Michael's sweaters whenever. She gets looks from her mum, Charlie, and the others, and she knows what they think. She knows they think that her and Michael are together. She doesn't bother to correct them because it's too exhausting, and they'll never get it.

Tori is cold - always. No matter what time of year, or how many layers she's wearing, she is always cold and always complains about how cold it is. Michael is the opposite of this, and is always lovely and warm. He doesn't even have to wear loads of layers. He's always pretty warm. Michael teases Tori for the fact that she's always freezing cold.

Michael makes Tori watch films she's never watched, and once she does, she reluctantly admits that they're actually great films.

Once Tori watches a new film that Michael has recommended, she makes a playlist based on the film, or a favourite character of Michael's from that film.

Tori finds people who reject pop music as “too mainstream” insufferable. She can rant about it for so long that the room falls silent.

Michael is never surprised when he sees that Tori is online at like 2 am. He teases her about it, and begs her to try and go to sleep at a respectable hour, but she never gives in.

Tori refuses to speak with anyone at breakfast if she can avoid it. She makes a point of making sure she can eat breakfast alone in the kitchen or eat it in her room. Either way, her headphones are on as she listens to Coldplay or Radio Head. If someone interrupts her, she glares and reluctantly removes her headphones.

Sometimes, Tori dissociates while she's around her friends. She finds herself questioning whether everything going on around her is real. Whether it's actually happening. Her friends don't seem to notice.

Tori's closet is full of hoodies, while Michael has a growing collection of sweaters.

Tori drinks everything with a straw.

Michael likes to give Tori small doodles, drawings, and notes. Tori keeps all of them and looks at them every once in a while when she can't sleep.

Tori absolutely refuses to ever use the overhead light. She will avoid using it at ALL costs.

Tori gets very bad migraines a lot. They even make her lightheaded and on the brink of fainting. She shrugs it off or plays it off that she's fine around others, but Michael can usually tell. Michael brings paracetamol or ibuprofen always, just in case. He also reminds Tori to drink water.

Tori lives off buttered noodles/pasta, mac n' cheese, or nuggets and chips a lot of the time. She can't cook to save her life.

Sometimes Tori finds herself watching game shows like Tipping Point and The Chase. She genuinely enjoys watching them and tries to play along.

Tori refuses to buy a new phone until her current one is on it's last legs. She just can't comprehend why and how people will buy a new phone once a new model is out.

When she was younger, she would get in trouble for cutting her hair on her own with a scissors.

Tori almost always has a blanket with her in her house. She has plenty of blankets in her room. When she's in the living room, you can bet she has a blanket.

In school, Tori was either the one telling everyone to “shut up” or sitting silently by herself. She was never part of the noise.

Michael would feel bad if any of his teddies were left out, so he would sleep with all of them, or have some sort of rota/routine and sleep with a different one each night.

#tori spring #michael holden #solitaire #solitaire alice oseman #sprolden #osemanverse #alice oseman #heartstopper #queerplatonic #autism #adhd #cutie patootie #platonic #headcanon

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thelazyhermits · 3 months ago

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Even though I prefer to wait until TWST events reach the ENG server before writing anything for them, I just couldn't help myself when it comes to my Yuu's first meeting with Skully cause I just love him, and I really wanted to give writing him a try.

There are spoilers for the new JPN Halloween event underneath the cut, so if you don't want to be spoiled, I'd recommend not reading this, although I'm not strictly following what happened with Skully & Yuu's first meeting in the event since I wanted to put my own spin on it.

Also, I purposely avoided bringing attention to the event outfits here since my Yuu's event outfit hasn't been decided yet, so I'll just say Yuu focuses on her and Skully's clothes after this scene lol

Lastly, for those not familiar with my writing, my Yuu is female, so if that's not your preference, you probably won't wanna read this.

For those who do decide to read this, I hope you'll enjoy it! 😊💕

When you regain consciousness, it’s to the sound of an unfamiliar voice calling out to you.

“Hello..? Hello, my dear? Lovely lady sleeping in my arms?”

Upon hearing that voice, your groggy mind immediately focuses on the incredibly warm, gentle tone the unknown speaker uses when addressing you, which you’re unaccustomed to hearing thanks to the kind of upbringing you had and the kind of people you currently go to school with.

Seconds after that voice pierces through the haze that’s currently clouding your mind, you finally register the fact that someone is holding you in their arms, keeping you safely and comfortably secure against their chest.

“Can you hear my voice?”

Once again, the unfamiliar voice addresses you, and at the same time, you feel a long, slender gloved finger brush against your cheek with a tenderness that surprises you.

Just who is this person?

And why do they sound genuinely concerned on your behalf? Why is everything about them so gentle?

“Hey, my dear, please, open your eyes for me…”

Upon hearing that request, you finally pry your heavy eyelids apart, so you can finally get some answers to the questions currently swirling around your groggy mind.

After blinking several times to clear your blurry vision, you take in the sight of a handsome, white-haired boy, who appears to be around your age, judging from his young face.

Just after your eyes open, the mysterious stranger beams, “Thank goodness, you’re awake!”

For a moment, all you can do is stare at that charming smile, which looks genuine from your perspective. That and the obvious relief in his voice, which doesn’t in any way sound forced, make you think that he really has been worried about you.

After taking a moment to scrutinize the sincerity of that smile, your eyes drift upwards and focus on the boy’s sunglasses, whose dark, circular lenses are completely hiding his eyes from view.

You have to fight the urge to click your tongue upon seeing those sunglasses since his eyes being hidden will make it difficult for you to properly read his expressions, which is why you never liked dealing with the people in Japan’s underworld who wore this type of eyewear specifically because they wanted to make themselves hard to read.

Ironically enough, just after the topic of his eyes occupies your thoughts, the still smiling stranger brings his face dangerously close to yours, making you think he really has no concept of personal space, considering he’s doing something like this and had no qualms about holding you while you were unconscious.

“Oh my, what dazzling eyes you have, my dear. They are just as lovely as you are. I am overjoyed to finally be able to see them at long last.”

Strangely enough, rather than have the immediate impulse to hit him, like what would normally happen under circumstances like these, you find yourself feeling only amused, perhaps because this boy reminds you a lot of Rook, whose eccentricities you’ve grown quite accustomed to these last several months.

Of course, it also helps that your instincts are telling you that this person isn’t a threat to you, and you’re always inclined to believe them since they’ve never lied to you before.

That’s why, rather than push this stranger away, you decide to take advantage of this perfect opportunity that he just unintentionally provided you.

Faster than he can react, you grab his sunglasses and move them upwards, allowing you a clear view of his wide, red eyes, whose pupils have a cool, concentric pattern.

A smirk rises to your lips. “If you’re gonna check out my eyes, it’s only fair you let me do the same.”

After moving his sunglasses to rest on the top of his head, you find yourself pausing after your eyes focus on the diamond-shaped patches of black hair that are now located directly beneath the sunglasses.

It kinda looks like a face…a very familiar face at that. You note. Although, I can’t remember why it looks so familiar to me…

Since there are more important matters that you need to attend to right now, you quickly shelve those thoughts, with the intention of going back to them later.

Quickly, you refocus your gaze on the face of the stranger, whose arms you woke up in, and firmly take hold of his chin, so you can keep him from moving his face away from yours since this close proximity will make it all the more easier for you to read his expressions.

Your earlier smirk returns when the mysterious boy becomes noticeably flustered, making you believe he’s not used to getting a taste of his own medicine. “Now, let’s have a little Q & A, Mr. Up Close And Personal, so I can decide what to do with you.”

Giving the befuddled boy no chance to refuse, you ask, “Alright, the first and most important question is: Why did you decide to pull an unconscious girl into your lap? Sure, I can get wanting to wake me after finding me in such a state, but was that all really necessary?”

Rather than appear apprehensive upon being on the receiving end of your piercing, judgmental stare, the mysterious stranger, who appears genuinely surprised by your question, frowns, “Obviously, I could not allow a lovely lady such as yourself to remain on the cold, hard ground! I wouldn’t be able to call myself a gentleman otherwise!”

Because you can tell that he’s not lying thanks to the obvious sincerity in his eyes and voice, some of the tension in your frame eases as your gaze somewhat softens. “Heh, good answer. While not every girl would accept it, considering the circumstances, I will since I can tell you had good intentions, although I would still advise not trying something like this with any other girls since most girls would understandably hit first and ask questions later.”

Judging from his puzzled expression, this boy truly has no idea why a girl would react in such a manner, giving you the impression that he can be rather oblivious when it comes to the effects his actions have on others.

Rather than try to explain things to him, you move onto your next two questions. “Second and third questions: Who are you, and how did you end up here with me?”

Much to your amusement, rather than appear bothered by your interrogation, the white-haired boy, who’s once again smiling and has seemingly forgotten his earlier embarrassment, cheerfully answers, “My name is Skully J. Graves. It’s nice to meet you!”

“As to how I ended up here with you, I stumbled upon your unconscious form by chance after I woke up in this unfamiliar place.” He continues, “I’m afraid I can’t provide any further information since I am just as confused as you must feel about these strange circumstances we’re both now facing.”

The corners of your lips dip downward. He’s not lying about finding me by chance, but I get the feeling he’s not being completely forthright with me about how he ended up here.

It’s possible he just doesn’t remember how he got here since my mind was rather hazy when I first woke up, although my memories of what happened with the crazy book that Grim opened at the used book fair are starting to come back to me. You think to yourself. He may think I won’t believe him if he claims to not remember how he got here, or he simply wants to avoid saying anything that may make him look suspicious.

“Oh, yes, I almost forgot!” Skully exclaims, successfully drawing you away from your thoughts. “How careless of me!”

His concerned eyes peer into yours. “How are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere, my dear?”

Upon seeing that he’s genuinely concerned about you, your expression softens. While I get the feeling that there’s more than meets the eye with this guy, I can tell he’s not a bad person at heart. A bad person wouldn’t be so kind and gentle toward me, especially not while I’m interrogating them.

While this doesn’t necessarily mean Skully can be trusted, you can at least give him the benefit of the doubt and be open to the idea of eventually trusting him after getting to know him better.

I would still like to get some more info outta him, especially in regards to how he ended up in this place like me, but it’d probably be better if I space out my questions rather than bombard him with them all at once. You muse. While he’s been pretty accommodating thus far, that might change if I start asking questions that make him uncomfortable, and I’d rather avoid causing any kind of conflict right now when I’ve got other more important things to worry about.

Rather than continue interrogating him, it’d be better to just wait and ask more questions later on once Skully has become more comfortable with you, or even better, if you bide your time, you may glean new information from him that he willingly provides without you even needing to ask since he seems like a talkative kind of guy.

That’s why you finally release your hold on his chin, surprising him, since it’s really for the best that you quit giving him the third-degree, especially when the boy hasn’t even technically done anything wrong yet. “Yes, I’m fine. Thank you for asking, er…”

Realizing you don’t know if Skully is someone you need to be more formal with like your upperclassmen or if he’s the same age as you, you ask, “How old are you? I can’t tell if you’re older than me or not, so I’m not sure how I should address you. I’m sixteen, by the way.”

Appearing noticeably pleased, Skully eagerly replies, “I am also sixteen! How wonderful to make a new friend who is the same age as me!”

“And you may address me however you please!” He adds, “I will be overjoyed regardless because such a lovely lady is calling me by name!”

The corners of your lips quirk upwards at his cute response. “You’re quite the charmer, huh? I like that. It’s rather refreshing, considering how most guys my age act.”

“Alright, considering you have no preference, I’ll just call you Skully and not worry about any formalities, like what I do with my other friends our age.” You add.

Your smile grows. “Since I’ve gotten enough info to satisfy myself for the time being, I’ll put an end to my little interrogation and introduce myself. My name is Yuu. It’s nice to meet you, Skully.”

Skully beams, “What a lovely name! I’m so glad to meet you, Yuu-san!”

Catching you by surprise, Skully gently takes hold of your hand and tenderly kisses your knuckles. “I thank you for this wonderful encounter.”

Once you overcome your surprise, your expression becomes amused. He did call himself a gentleman earlier, so I guess I should’ve seen this coming, especially with his formal, old-fashioned way of speaking. He’s just like the gentlemen characters you see on TV.

Luckily for him, you’ve always been fond of those types of characters, so you think the two of you will get along just fine.

Plus, it’s not everyday you meet someone this sweet and gentlemanly thanks to the kind of people you normally hang out with, so you want to make the most of this opportunity to get along with this somewhat odd yet still quite endearing boy.

A grin rises to your lips. Most importantly, when a boy acts this cute, it makes me wanna spend more time with him and look for opportunities to tease him to see if he’ll give me some equally adorable reactions.

That's why you decide to have a little fun by shifting your hand that’s currently still being held, so you can gently grab Skully’s, surprising him.

Giving him no chance to react, you bring his hand close to your mouth and tenderly kiss his knuckles, mirroring his previous actions, all the while channeling the princely charm Cater always has you show off for your fans on Magicam. “Likewise, handsome.”

Much to your delight, Skully instantly becomes incredibly flustered because of your actions - to the point his blush covers the majority of his face, making you think this is the first time someone has ever done something like this to him.

Even better, after you release your hold on his hand, Skully, who has apparently been rendered speechless, considering how quiet he now is, uses both of his hands to cup his incredibly flushed cheeks, making him look even more adorable.

Your grin grows at the incredibly endearing sight. Looks like he's the type who gets super flustered when flirted with, like Deuce and Sebek. How adorable. I’m definitely gonna have some fun with this boy. Hehe~

Regrettably, you don’t get to enjoy this moment for very long, because, seconds after you recall how Deuce and Sebek usually react to your playful flirting, you finally realize that something is missing here.

Or rather, some people.

Wide-eyed, you immediately turn to look around and realize that the only people in the surrounding area, which consists of a barren forest that stretches out as far as the eye can see, are you and Skully. “Wait a minute! Where are my friends?!”

I can’t believe I let myself get so distracted that I totally forgot about the others! You internally scream. I’m a horrible mother! Where are my sons?!

As you panickily try to climb out of Skully’s lap so you can start a search for Grim and the others, the white-haired boy catches you off guard when he suddenly rises to his feet and takes you along for the ride.

Once on his feet, Skully gently sets you down, so you can stand on your own. “There you are, Yuu-san. Now, what was that about ‘friends’? Did you not come here alone like myself?”

Rather than answer his question, all you can do is stare at this boy who’s now towering over you like a lanky giant. Holy shit. He’s tall. I had figured he would be a tall boy just from how he was hunched over me earlier, but I was not expecting him to be this big. He may be even taller than Jack and Tsunotaro!

Skully curiously tilts his head when you fail to answer his question. “Yuu-san? Are you alright?”

Realizing this is not the time for gaping like an idiot, you give yourself a quick mental shake before replying, “Yeah, sorry. I was just surprised by how tall you are. I have some friends our age who are tall, but I’m pretty sure you’re even bigger than them, which seriously amazes me.”

“Anyway, to answer your question, yes, I should have some friends with me here since they were all with me right before I ended up in this weird place.” You continue, “While it’s possible I’m the only one who ended up in this crazy predicament, I find it unlikely, considering how close some of them were to me when I got enveloped by the weird magic that brought me here.”

Much to your amusement, mere seconds after those words leave your mouth, you hear some incoherent screaming coming from the distance, and you immediately recognize that voice as belonging to Sebek since you'd know that booming voice anywhere.

Thankfully, the screaming you hear isn’t the kind that indicates Sebek is scared or in trouble, so more than likely, he’s just freaking out about his current circumstances and/or your absence.

Your shoulders slump with relief when you hear your son’s voice. “Speaking of my giant friends, that voice belongs to one of them. Thank goodness. At least, now, I know where I need to go.”

“Would you like to go with me, Skully?” You ask, “I’d hate to leave you on your own, and we’ll have a higher chance of getting out of this mess we’re in if we work together.”

Skully beams, “I would be more than happy to accompany you! Thank you for your kind invitation!”

With that settled, you turn to face the direction that Sebek’s screaming came from, but before you can start walking, Skully surprises you when he quickly moves to stand in front of you.

Before you can question his actions, Skully gracefully bows before offering you a hand, smiling all the while. “Please allow me to be your escort.”

Since you see no harm in it and it would be nice to have a hand to hold onto while you’re walking through this somewhat creepy forest, you reach out and take his proffered hand. “Alright, thank you. Do you know your way around this forest, Skully?”

He shakes his head. “No, unfortunately, I am unfamiliar with this forest like you.”

Grinning, Skully asks, “But don’t you think it’s a wonderful experience to wander hand-in-hand in a mysterious forest?”

His question makes you giggle. What a romantic. Skully just keeps getting more and more entertaining the longer I talk to him.

After you rein in your amusement, you warmly smile, “Holding hands definitely would make this situation better, so I’m fine with walking like this.”

Plus, someone, who’s as touch-starved as you, would never turn down the opportunity to hold hands with someone, just as long as you know that person isn’t dangerous, of course.

You squeeze Skully’s hand. And I can’t turn down a request from someone who seems to be as touch-starved as me, considering his past actions remind me a lot of how I typically act around my friends, not when I know hand-holding will make both of us equally happy.

For a moment, Skully just stares at you in surprise, or at least, you’re assuming he’s surprised since you can no longer see his full face thanks to his sunglasses, which he returned to their rightful place after he helped you to your feet earlier.

His reaction further convinces you that your hunch about him being touch-starved is right since he really seems very unaccustomed to someone willingly accepting his touch.

Just like how you were before you came to NRC….

Once he overcomes his surprise, Skully’s earlier cheerfulness returns with a vengeance as he happily replies, “Let us be off then! I look forward to meeting all of your companions, whom I’m sure are just as lovely as you!”

Unfortunately, I doubt they’ll be excited to meet you when we show up, and they see you holding my hand. You wryly think to yourself.

And, of course, you were exactly right.

#fortune in twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #skully j graves #twst x reader #platonic skully j graves x reader #my writing #twst spoilers #twst jp spoilers #twst halloween spoilers #twst nightmare before christmas

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