#but have you(/nd) considered: making the zone comfortable? “take as long as you need”?
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something ive learned over the past 2-3 years: health and wellness classes absolutely were not meant for neurodivergent people
#at least my old health teacher could/would sympathize with me#i am a week and a half into this semester and the new teacher pisses me off unnaturally#just got an assignment that said something like “the opposite of empathy is SELFISHNESS! always be empathic!!”#as someone with multiple friends who have low empathy but are still genuinely great people; fuck you??#also there was some shit with socializing and 'getting out of your comfort zone'#ever consider that maybe the reason someone is staying inside their comfort zone#is bc forcing themselves outside of it makes them more likely to have a panic attack or breakdown?#DID YOU CHRISTINE?? maybe you're the one who needs to work on seeing things from others perspectives. fuck you#its always “get out of your comfort zone! try new and unusual things!”#but have you(/nd) considered: making the zone comfortable? “take as long as you need”?#considered “you're not a bad person simply for not living up to others standards and not knowing unspoken rules”?#(and yes 'nuerodivergent' here includes people with pd's and other trauma based disorders)#adhd#autism#mental health#vent#kinda#can you tell i'm not having the best day#hellth class
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August Horoscopes: Lion’s Roar
August is going to be a potent time for Fire and Fixed signs. Once again, we will experience the Fixed square energy since the Sun and New Moon will be in Leo. However, it will be a month with some smoother moments with many planets forming a stellium in Virgo, making us all more motivated to work and achieve success. The New Moon in Leo on the 8th will allow us to dream big, even if Saturn’s opposition adds some conflict. Venus enters Libra on the 16th, bringing magic since Venus is at home in this sign. With The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd, we will be reevaluating lessons from earlier this year as the themes from Saturn are intensified with this second Aquarius Moon. Virgo season begins on the same day as well, pushing us to move ahead and prioritize our routines. And things cool off with Mercury going from exalted Virgo to Libra on the 30th. Our communication patterns will be more focused on partnerships and diplomacy. This month has a lot of things to offer and lots of opportunities for new beginnings. It’s all about how brave we feel to step out of our comfort zone.
Aries – As a Fire sign, the New Moon in Leo on the 8th will be a good time to initiate new beginnings that are going to fill you with much inspiration. Your romantic life could see a boost after this transit, or you might just be more concerned with expounding on your creative talents. Another exciting moment that will fuel your love life is Venus entering the sign of Libra on the 16th. Get ready to feel good about yourself and let others know it. You are radiant, confident, and ready to put yourself out there and find an emotional connection. On the 19th, Uranus will be retrograde, and this will initiate a period of instability with the Fixed planets squaring off until next year. If you have neglected finances, this is your sign to get them in tip top shape. Uranus can cause some shocks, but there could be blessings along the way if you are patient and not impulsive. On the 22nd, the Full Moon will be once again in Aquarius, finishing off this powerful transit from the previous Full Moon in July. A period to redo, to learn and to evaluate where you need to grow. You will focus on your friendships and social connections. Once again, you will see people for who they truly are. Rejoice! The Sun enters Virgo on the 22nd as well and we are in for a treat as this transit is going to get you up and ready to think more about yourself and how to show some care and devotion to you. Finally, Mercury enters Libra on the 30th, your communication style will be less chaotic and more subtle. A good period to express your love to someone or through art.
Taurus – The New Moon in Leo on the 8th is going to be a game changer. This transit is going to open many opportunities and ignite changes for you. Set your sights big now because you will accomplish a lot. A defining transit for you is Mercury’s ingress in the sign of Virgo on the 11th. You are going to be a lot more entertaining to be around with since you will be in a playful mood for the next several weeks. Venus, your ruler is entering the sign of Libra on the 16th, a good time to get in tip top shape with your goals, health and dreams. This is also a good time to analyze your routines and make some positive changes that will help you for the next several months. Uranus is currently in your sign and will go retrograde on the 19th. You have seen how the Saturn and Uranus square has transformed you this year. Go within and see how much you have grown and how much stronger you have become. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd touches on similar themes that the Uranus transit will bring. It is a period of your evolution, and it will feel unbearable at times but you are slowly becoming powerful in your own right. The Sun will join Mercury in the sign of Virgo on the 22nd, this is going to be a positive transit, adding more balance to the challenging transits, so use this opportunity to have fun and enjoy yourself.
Gemini – You will be grabbing the spotlight with the New Moon in Leo transit on the 8th of August and Mercury entering the sign of Virgo on the 11th. A period where you can shine and impress those in positions of power. During this month, you are very intellectually stimulated and everyone will take notice. Venus enters Libra on the 16th and this transit makes a positive trine to your sign, bringing those confidence levels through the roof for the next several weeks. On the 19th, Uranus will surprise us even more once it goes retrograde. This is a transit that will function like a spring cleaning, a good opportunity to clear out negative mindsets and let the positive vibes in. We will be repeating the lessons from the last Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd. We will prepare ourselves for round two. Here you are pushed to make some uncomfortable decisions, but it will be worth it in the long run. The Sun also enters the sign of Virgo on the same day, putting you once again at the top and everyone will be taking notice for the next month. You are also going to shine at home. Mercury closes the month by entering the sign of Libra on the 30th. It is going to be a fruitful transit, boosting your confidence once again and allowing you to meet new people.
Cancer – Leo season is going to bring abundance and luck beginning with the New Moon in Leo on the 8th. A good opportunity to make financial goals. On the 11th, Mercury enters Virgo, and you are going to be more social during this transit as friends invite you to have fun and the same energy will be repeated later in the month when the Sun enters Virgo on the 22nd. With the Venus in Libra transit beginning on the 16th, you will see the dynamics at home and work beginning to shift. This is your opportunity to bring balance and you will be successful. During this period, you’ll be able to make peace with those who continue to make war with you. But you’ll be victorious if you choose the diplomatic route. You are going to set your sights on home improvement and redecorating as Venus brings out your artistry. Uranus goes retrograde beginning on the 19th. You could see some turbulence in your friendship circles as you decide to end some connections. This is your time to reflect and see how you can grow from the knowledge you gain through this transit. On the 22nd, the Full Moon returns to continue themes from last month’s transit. Overall, this time around it should be easier than last month since Jupiter will be in the same sign, bringing you hope and healing energy to deal with these Saturnian transits. Set your sights to impress and outshine everyone when Mercury enters Libra on the 30th. You will have the ability to win everyone over and make great allies.
Leo – A New Moon transit in your sign is going to be magnificent for you since this is all about opening doors and making dreams more of a reality for the next six months. Mercury enters Virgo on the 11th, adding a dose of excitement since this transit can get you more focused on saving and building. Venus will enter the sign of Libra on the 16th, creating opportunities to meet and spend time with friends and family. On the 19th, Uranus will go retrograde, and it will impact your career. Expect some changes happening during this time, but do not make spontaneous decisions. While Uranus might bring the storm, the best way to handle is by being patient and learning. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd, sparks up everyone’s world once more and you are going to feel this energy in your relationships. The year has allowed you to grow and understand how your friendships are evolving as well as your romantic relationships. With the Sun entering Virgo on the same day, you are going to be more understanding and focused on treating yourself. Mercury will enter Libra on the 30th and this can bring a nice calming and relaxing period for you since you will be a lot more comfortable communicating and reaching out to others.
Virgo – Mercury is entering your sign beginning on the 11th and this is going to be a fun transit for you since Venus and Mars are already in Virgo. The New Moon in Leo will be on the 8th, and it will represent a closing of cycles for you and new beginnings since this is happening in the darkest corners of your chart. You will gladly welcome the Venus in Libra transit on the 16th, which can bring you luck and confidence with finances. On the 19th, you will welcome the Uranus Retrograde transit since it will be all about pursuing things you are interested in and learning more. Uranus brings excitement, so you might even contemplate learning new things to keep you entertained. If you are a creative, you might branch out and consider applying new technology or software for your projects. On the 22nd, the Full Moon will return to the sign of Aquarius and the Sun enters Virgo. Again, the focus with these two transits will give you a boost of confidence that is going to transform your work ethic and shift your dreams to greater things. Mercury closes the month, entering the sign of Libra and here you are going to consider the wonderful things you have accomplished and will learn to see your worth.
Libra – The New Moon in Leo on the 8th will change your perspective on romantic endeavors, adding a little more optimism when potential partners appear. Mercury will be entering the sign of Virgo on the 11th, and this is going to allow you get back to focus and clear your mind before Mercury enters your sign. During this period, you’ll be more reserved, and others will take notice. Use this time to recharge your batteries through resting. On the 16th, Venus enters Libra, and it will be a potent transit for your sign. Venus is happy in Libra, and you will be radiant. Uranus will go retrograde starting on the 19th, use this time for reflection and healing. The Full Moon in Aquarius returns once again on the 22nd and it will be a time for resolving some of the questions from the last cycle. Relationships become top priority now and you are going to feel more confident when it comes to your romantic life. On the 22nd, the Sun enters Virgo, initiating a period of more reflection, meditation, and spiritual awakening. This transit gets you ready for the next month when your season begins. Mercury will enter your sign on the 30th, a good time to get focused on the self and your needs. Act and shift your priorities to meet your goals and dreams.
Scorpio – The climb to the top is going to be interesting for you with the New Moon in Leo on the 8th. This is your time, the moment you have been working for and this transit will influence you for the next six months as you see some powerful changes in career, home and/or school. Mercury enters Virgo on the 11th, making this a good time to open those social calendars. Venus enters Libra on the 16th, which is a good transit for you if you have felt restless. Take a break, relax, and have fun reading a book or focusing on art. Uranus will be retrograde on the 19th and here you will experience some changes in your relationships that can either strengthen or reshape them. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd sets the tone for the next six months. Now that you have learned what the first half of the year has brought to the table, you will use this wisdom to plan and get ahead. The Sun in Virgo on the 22nd is going to allow you to be more confident and step out and shine. The month ends on the 30th with Mercury in Libra, offering a good opportunity to meditate, journal and release any hurts you have held inside.
Sagittarius – Get ready for the month of August as this fire energy begins to get you back on track. Your focus will be on philosophy and higher thinking with this New Moon in Leo on the 8th. It is a good opportunity to begin a new course or even consider going back to school if you want to pursue a new major. Venus enters Libra on the 16th, and this is a good opportunity to meet up with friends and reconnect if you haven’t seen them in a while. Uranus will be retrograde beginning on the 19th, so try and prepare for some upheaval regarding your day-to-day routines and work. As always, being patient is more favorable than acting impulsively with Uranus transits. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd and the Sun entering Virgo on the same day will be highlights for you. Career will see a positive boost with the Sun’s entry in this Earth sign. This is your chance to speak, to become more confident with what you have to say and claiming the spotlight will not be an issue. Once Mercury enters Libra on the 30th, you are going to feel more in command and optimistic.
Capricorn – During the month of August your relationship energy will be transforming thanks to the New Moon in Leo on the 8th. The perfect time to connect with your partner on a deeper level and discuss anything that could strengthen the bonds. Mercury will be making a favorable aspect to your sign once it enters Virgo on the 11th. This is a good transit to plan and make powerful moves to get you organized and prepared for what’s to come. A transit that will have you on your toes is the Venus in Libra transit because it will be at the highest point of your chart, bringing you luck and success in career and home for the weeks. You are on a roll, Capricorn, so keep doing you. On August 19th, the Uranus Retrograde might make others cower in fear but you are prepared especially with the trine Uranus is making to your sign. This is going to add excitement in your romantic life. Either a partner might surprise you with some adventure on the way or if you are single, you might meet someone unexpectedly. The Full Moon in Aquarius on the 22nd will give us all a chance to look back into topics in July and make some much needed adjustments. In your case, finances come to the forefront and there could be some huge investments on the horizon. Think things carefully before committing. The Sun enters Virgo on the same day, adding more of the hard-working element you welcome. It is a good time to seek a mentor if you feel conflicted or confused and learn how to craft your path to success for the months of September and October. Your vision is big and a teacher or your boss can set you on the right course with Mercury entering Libra on the 30th adding on to these themes as you consider more planning to get to the top.
Aquarius – Fixed signs will appreciate that the planets are slowly moving out of Leo and into Virgo. The month opens with a New Moon in Leo on the 8th, and you will be welcoming this transit since it brings the focus to your relationships. It can be a good time to meet people and those who are single will have great opportunities to enter relationships. On the 11th, Mercury enters Virgo and on the 30th, Mercury shifts into Libra. Both Mercury transits are going to bring some highs and lows since they will each come in contact with Uranus and Saturn. While you undergo the lessons of Mercury, it will start with a psychological reflection on your part and end up with a more spiritual connection once it is in Libra. Uranus adds more frustration to your sign once it is retrograde on the 19th, you are going to have see some changes at work and/or school, so the key here is being balanced and not trying to take control. Be patient and not hasty. The Full Moon in your sign will be on the 22nd and it is a repeat of the last one from July. Saturn is in your sign pushing you to mature and evolve. These transits will highlight the same themes. The Sun will be in Virgo on the 22nd and you are going to experience great wisdom and understanding from this transit as you will dive once more into introspection. The month ends on a positive note as Mercury moves into Libra, an enlightening and powerful transit.
Pisces – A glorious month for you since many of these transits will be highlighting your relationship house. It begins with the New Moon in Leo on the 8th, a reminder to get your priorities straight, especially if you have been slacking off. On the 11th, Mercury enters the sign of Virgo, joining Venus and Mars there. You are going to be more willing to meet people that can help you. If you are single, you have opportunities to start a potential romance. Venus enters Libra on the 16th, and this is a time of reflection and prioritizing yourself. Venus has you introspective and analytical, so use this opportunity to understand your needs and wants. Uranus will be retrograde on the 19th, sparking a period of transition when it comes to your communication style. This could add anxiety at first, but you will ease into is since Uranus will continue to make a positive sextile to your sign. Take it easy if you feel overwhelmed. On the 22nd, the Full Moon in Aquarius makes your dreams more powerful. It is a transit that will make you want to reflect and find comforts at home. The Sun enters Virgo on the 22nd, adding more of that relationship energy in your life. More analyzing here and if you have felt any confusion, you will feel awakened as you’ll have more confidence to decide on who is worthy and who isn’t.
#Horoscopes#Astrology#Aries#Taurus#Gemini#Cancer#Leo#Virgo#Libra#Scorpio#Sagittarius#Capricorn#Aquarius#Pisces
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Sacrifice
@luna-hatake-uchiha requested: Hi. First of all, I want to wish you a happy new year. I read on Archiv of your Own that your request box is open... Soo could you please write a scenario where Law and his s/o are having a daughter and after a few years their daughter shows symptoms of the Amber Lead poisoning? And Law doing everything he can to heal her? (This is my first time doing this and I'm sorry if I sound rude somewhere.)
You were perfect in requesting Hon! Apologies for how late this is (I hope you had a good start to the new year!) but omg- That would be so heartbreaking ahhhhh. This came out pretty angsty but I tried to give it a neutral ending! I hope you enjoy it!
This turned into a one-shot oops.
Trafalgar Law x Female Reader
Warnings: Fluff/Angst- Spoilers of Law’s past. Can be considered a good or sad ending! Uhh Post-Pirating au? Law is retired from the pirate life lol, grammar
*Instead of 2nd pov I wrote this in 3rd pov for a change. : )
Also, yeah- I am pretty sure that Law would be able to cure his daughter of this because of his Devil Fruit and it’s “Miraculous” abilities but I went for the more angsty side, so I made it more complicated than that lol. I just love the idea of protective dad Law.
Words: 1983
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The smell of coffee is usually a scent that brings the pregnant woman, (Name), a comfort since that means she can sneak a sip from her husband’s cup but right now… It is too early for coffee. He should be in bed with her, but the sun is not even up. With exhaustion evident on her face and the goal of finding Law and bringing him back to bed- She regretfully leaves the warm bed.
The house they have is a decent-sized home. Two bedrooms- The one they share together, and the guest room, a nursery that Law and (Name) have been working on and of course, Law’s office to store his medical books and journals, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a small cozy living room.
It felt like bliss living here.
Even more so with the bun in the oven. Law was in shock when he realized his wife was indeed pregnant, but it made the joy of retiring from piracy to enjoy a domestic life with her all the better. It most certainly eases his thoughts that most of his crew also retired here on this peaceful island.
Things could not have turned out more perfect for them.
Though… That was about to change as (Name) walks into his office- The light from it leaking out into the hallway. The smell of coffee gets stronger, and she smiles upon seeing how serious her husband is looking through some of his books.
No matter what he is doing, he looks so handsome.
Something he got used to arguing with her saying how she is crazy for thinking his eyebags are attractive. It was all jokes sure but (Name) was serious and proud to say he was handsome. His personality definitely that too. She can rely on him and him on her and that is something hard to do for the both of them.
Law is too in the zone in the book so (Name) uses that to her advantage. She sneaks up behind him and is quick to wrap her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek. His tense body immediately relaxes within her hold and he turns to offer her a tired smile.
“Did I wake you?” He asks softly as a hand comes up to meet her swollen belly.
(Name) laughs and holds his hand to her stomach. “Yes, but it is fine. I just got cold without your warmth. That and the beautiful smell of coffee. I think our daughter wants a sip.”
Law’s face turns into a scolding one immediately making his wife laugh as she continues, “Hey! You said I could have some in moderation! I think a tiny sip is less than that and yes, I know we do not know if our child will be a girl, but I just have this feeling…”
Law sighs but… Then smiles as he just shakes his head. He gives in knowing full well that his wife’s point was mainly about getting her daily sip of coffee in. He pulls away from his wife’s loving hand to reach for his mug of coffee. Being careful of the still-hot contents in it. He hands it to her and watches as she smiles and takes her desired sip. Handing it back to him he puts it on the desk and immediately pulls the pregnant woman onto his lap earning himself a giggle from her.
“Anyway, what are you doing up, my love?” She asks as she nuzzles her face into his neck the best she can.
At this question, Law turns tense. His sigh comes out stressed as he hesitates to speak. He thinks it would be better now to share his concern, especially when it is such a valid one.
“I… Fear that our child may get Amber Lead Poising. It is a hereditary disease,” Law mumbles.
This makes his wife freeze up. She knows his pain with that. The fear of it. He must have been bottling it up until he just could not ignore the possibility. With a gentle sigh, (Name) places a tender kiss on his lips, momentarily distracting him from his painful thoughts.
“My love, please come back to bed. After a few more hours of sleep, you can come back in here… And no matter what happens with our child- I have faith that you will find a cure. Until then, try not to worry. Otherwise, you are going to send yourself into an early grave by putting all that stress on your heart,” (Name) says as a yawn escapes her.
Law can only smile now. She truly is his best friend. His other half. She knows how to ease his worries even if it is temporarily, but what she said… It also rings true. He vows to find a cure in the case that their child will get that stupid disease.
~*~
The rest of the pregnancy goes by quickly and as soon as the baby, a girl, is in their arms it feels like total bliss for them. It is everything they never imagined having but makes their lives totally complete. Her middle name is in memory of Law’s younger sister. The full name being Trafalgar Lami Lin.
“She looks like you already- Look at those wide (eye color) eyes,” Law says with a gentle smile on his face.
He never imagined he could allow himself to be this soft and vulnerable. To share it with (Name). His wife laughs as she leans against his arm as he holds their little girl in his arms. Both (Name) and the baby are exhausted.
“Thank the gods she does not look like a mini sleep-deprived version of you. Well, if she takes my looks, I only hope she gains your intelligence,” (Name) jokes.
Law smirks at the playful tone and as if he remembers sighs- “I forgot to tell you. What is left of the crew will be coming here tomorrow. They were even more excited than us combined.”
“Looks like we got a couple of free babysitters… I trust Bepo with her. Sachi and Penguin might drop her.”
Law sweatdrops at this and wishes he could argue back but… His wife is right. He makes a mental note to have Bepo be their go-to babysitter.
~*~
Days pass by fast when you feel joy and they pass even faster when you feel like the world suddenly has a time limit on it. Law promised his wife to enjoy the days with them and he did, but he spent countless nights trying to find a cure- Getting so close to finding something that can help in the case his daughter gets the disease.
The baby grows quickly into a child, but it was the age of five when Law realizes that she has those stupid white spots on her skin- Meaning she has Amber Lead Poisoning. He felt like he was suffocating. She was not supposed to get it. He paid his dues during his piracy. His loss of Rosinante. His loss of family. He paid whatever the hell life thought he owed it, so she was supposed to be in the clear.
She was not.
He knows that is just wishful thinking. His whole family got it and Amber Lead is a hereditary disease. He was supposed to die at age thirteen. He did not all because he ate a fruit thanks to Rosinante. Just because he ate a fruit and cured himself does not mean he could actually cure Amber Lead with his fruit.
He could try and cure Lin as he did himself. Using the fruit’s "miraculous" properties which is having the ability to cure any kind of illness. However, this requires some extent of medical knowledge in order to be utilized effectively. He has that knowledge, but he does not have the full knowledge to cure others of this disease. He cured himself because he ate the fruit.
He needs a real cure. One to ensure that this disease does not follow into the genes anymore. He wants to ensure that if his daughter wants a family of her own- If she makes it to that age, he wants her to be able to not have to think about her own children having the disease.
He estimated she would only have a few years left. Until those white spots grow big enough to almost devour her. His blissful life turned into a nightmare for him. He always could not stand the thought of losing (Name) and the feeling was deeper with their daughter Lin since she was only a child.
She deserved a long and happy life.
He was going to sacrifice his time to ensure that.
It was during one of these nights when he cursed out life for being cruel that Law had an epiphany. Something in his research began to make sense for a cure- It was uncertain, but it was something and it was this night that his wife was woken up when he got up out of excitement to begin writing on a large board he put together. He accidentally dropped a book nothing too alarming, so he was surprised to see his wife checking on him.
Her large eyes watching the board- Trying to decipher his valid obsession of finding a cure. He could not contain his excitement as he pauses briefly to place a kiss on his wife’s lips.
“Whoa. You are super cheery for once,” She notes.
Law can only smile. “I think I am close to finding something. A cure. It would still be a while before I have something solid but… This is it. It has to be it.”
Hearing this fills (Name) up with excitement too. Only to see Law experience a crash. He is at his limit for tonight since he spent all day shopping with his daughter and wife to go to Penguin’s birthday (definitely an alcohol) party. He should be totally spent after today.
(Name) only hugs him feeling his body immediately relax into hers and he freezes upon remembering something. Pulling back slightly he looks at his darling wife and places a kiss on her forehead.
“Hey… I do need to tell you something. If this lead goes nowhere. I am going to use the Ope Ope no Mi fruit on her,” Law states.
(Name) freezes in his grip. Understanding these words. That means he is going to sacrifice his life for their daughter if he can’t make a cure. He is willing to use the fruit’s powers for what others have wanted it for. Immortality.
He is willing to grant their daughter “eternal youth” if it means she can experience life without the disease affecting her.
His mind is dead set on that backup plan so all (Name) Can do is nod. He smiles at her though as to reassure her.
“That is just a backup plan. We still have a few years left but as of now, I do believe it is time to get in contact with that crazy pirate- Luffy. I need him to bring Chopper here. With Chopper’s help this should work,” Law murmurs more to himself.
He is exhausted.
“Alright Love- I will go get in contact with them. I will send a letter. Though… I think you should head to bed. You did well. You are such a good father,” (Name) murmurs.
Hearing this… Law really feels like he might break. All of these restless nights are going to be worth something. He is going to do what his dad almost did for his younger sister. He will cure his daughter and be able to watch her grow.
“Law… You are getting my hair wet with your snot and tears.”
“Shut up,” He mumbles as he holds his partner.
She laughs and the two stay like that- Content that there is hope for their daughter.
#my writing#one piece x reader#trafalgar law x reader#law x reader#fanfiction#one shot#one piece fanfiction#one piece one shot#fluff#angst#female reader#mentions of pregnancy
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1. Don’t beat yourself up about how fast you read or how you focus
I have a bad habit of thinking back to my childhood and remembering how quickly I could get through books. I could get through 2 or 3 in a day with little difficulty. And now I’m lucky if I can get through a book in a week. But remember that what you’re reading and how you read changes all the time. It’s likely you’ve progressed into more challenging and longer works, and it’s also likely that your brain is wanting to understand it deeper than you did as a child. Sometimes life gets in the way and we lose the ability to focus on specific things for long periods - and that’s okay! And sometimes, depending on our mental health or disabilities, we might not have that ability - and that’s okay too. But that doesn’t mean you’ll never find a method of making it work. It’s accepting and understanding your limitations and seeing what you can progress at. Accepting these things can help remove some of the stress that we build up and associate with reading. Stress can be a big factor in how we can focus.
2. Structure time into your day or week to read
You don’t need a completely structured timetable for each and every day (or you can if you want!), but giving yourself a minimum amount of time to read each day or week can be a great way to get yourself on track. If you’re struggling to hit a specific time each day, don’t be afraid of lowering it. Or breaking it up. You can set 30 minutes to read each day but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all in one go. You could break it into five or ten minute chunks here and there. You could also consider giving yourself a weekly goal instead. An hour or two of reading each week might not feel like progress, but being dedicated to returning to reading can help your mind focus on it and it’s likely you’ll end up progressing past it.
3. You don’t have to finish books
If you’re not enjoying reading something, unless you absolutely need to read it for an assignment, don’t force yourself to read it. Instead take a step back and find another book to work on instead. It doesn’t count as a failure to not enjoy something and want to read something else. It might suck if it’s a book you were looking forward to, cost a lot, or you want to work on reading goals but it’s okay, I promise you. And if you’re having to read it for an assignment break it up with reading something you enjoy also. Try and remove the association of reading with stress and unpleasant reading material.
4. Set reasonable goals
I see people on Twitter being like “I want to get back into reading so I’m setting a reading challenge of 100 books for the year”. Whilst yes, some people do occasionally manage it or manage close to it a lot of them don’t. A lot of them get stressed about the challenge ahead and give up or feel like a failure. Be realistic, and set a low number at first. You can always go past it! But don’t just set yourself the challenge of ‘read more’ because that doesn’t mean anything. Give yourself a numbered goal that’s also timed. E.g. a book a month or twenty books in a year. This way you can feel motivated when you’re managing to progress the goal and accomplished when you succeed.
5. Use Youtube, Goodreads and Tumblr as motivational tools
There are lots of Youtube channels dedicated to talking about books, some of them can offer great advice and recommendations. I find that when I watch these videos I get really motivated to read and often pause their video to focus on something I’ve been meaning to read. Tumblr blogs also can post cosy aesthetic pictures of books, libraries, and reading spots that can put you in the mood. And there’s plenty of people happy to give book recommendations. Using this can help you find something you would be really interested in reading and you can join the community and get support and more. Goodreads also recommends a lot of good book suggestions, and you can read reviews - remember that reading reviews (and this post!) counts as reading. Get involved in different reading communities where you can support one another, chat about books and more. You’ll find that you’re likely to return to reading more frequently when you’re associating it with fun and friendships. Make your own videos and posts, you don’t have to share them but it can be a great way to think about what you’re reading and put yourself in the ‘I want to read’ mindset.
6. Struggling with focusing on fiction? Try non-fiction
If you’re struggling to find good non-fiction books to read, and find that these aren’t keeping your interest - that’s okay! Think about your interests and see what non-fiction books are out there about your topic. These might take longer to read because of how packed with information they are, but you might find that you’ll be so interested in a topic that you can focus on it a lot better. And you might get more motivation from being aware that you’re learning something.
7. Be aware of your surroundings
Is it really noisy around you? Is your TV, laptop, phone etc in your view? Try changing up your environment. Put electronics away, find a quieter place to study or alternatively try some music on in the background, you might have to experiment with what music you put on but this helps me focus with my reading and writing. And I know others who say the same, but likewise what works for some people (or a lot of people!) might not work for you. Try experimenting with your ideal environment and you’ll find that you can focus a lot better.
8. Don’t read books just so you’re not missing out
It can be easy to want to read something because lots of people are talking about it and you want to join in. But if it’s not something that you’re actually interested in, it might be worth giving it a miss and focusing on things that you’re actually more interested in. Although in saying that, sometimes it can be a good idea to push ourselves to try something out of our comfort zone and you might be pleasantly surprised! Just remember point 3.
9. People have different capabilities
This might seem like an obvious one, and it’s one that we definitely all know, but we can still find ourselves comparing anyway. Some people can get through books quickly and have multiple books on the go at once. Others get in the habit of starting a new book every day. Whatever your style, it’s progress. With your eyes reading even just a page a day (or less) you are progressing. You are doing great! Some people have to use different methods if they want to engage with reading: audiobooks, Ebooks, etc and these definitely count. Take pride in your reading even if you’d rather be at a different level. Things take time to learn and you might find there’s people that look to your posts about reading (which you should make as a motivational tool!) with envy.
10. It doesn’t have to be a book for it to count
I sometimes beat myself up because I haven’t read a lot of books in the past year. But then I remember reading 100 or so articles for university assignments and classroom lectures, I remember books I’ve flicked through to find important chapters to read. Those count! These count towards progress and are definitely beneficial. This post counts as reading! So don’t be afraid to put newspapers, homework reading materials, and longform blog posts into your reading count. Words on a page are words on a page regardless of what format it’s in.
You’re doing great, no matter how much or little progress you’re making, have faith in yourself.
Photo credit: XPLAI studio (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)
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Bisclavret Round-Up
Unholy took about three months to write. Fairy Tale took five. Hindsight took six.
Bisclavret took nineteen, and that should be the biggest indicator to you that I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
This was my first venture into another fandom, and out of my comfort zone (though not entirely – supernatural elements for life). I’m not sure whether or not I did the source material and its characters justice, however, especially with the supernatural element I went with (Wolves are believed to have gone extinct in England in the late fifteenth or early sixteenth century), but I will try to explain my reasoning behind some of my decisions here.
The Characters
My main concern.
We get a good view of Monty’s thought process throughout the show, through the framing device of writing his memoirs and views of his private affairs. Phoebe and Sibella, on the other hand, are characters we don’t get much of in the way of examination – we only see them through Monty’s eyes until the very end, where they reveal themselves as more than that.
Sibella is a bit self-centred, and extremely practical when it comes to how she sees her place in society, which implies some self-confidence issues. Phoebe is more idealistic, and independent, but still hopes for a match fit for a storybook. But, towards the end, Sibella demonstrates she is more than a vain god-digger, afraid of losing the man she loves and willing to potentially compromise her image to save him, while Phoebe shows that she is not nearly as innocent or naive as the people around her consider her to be.
I interpreted the two women’s characterisations as thus; Sibella believes she is bound by society’s view of her. Phoebe does not. This, I believed, needed to be the focus.
Which is where we introduce…
The Whole Werewolf Thing
“[Post-modern Gothic] warns us to be suspicious of monster hunters, monster makers, and above all, discourses invested in purity and innocence. The monster always represents the disruption of categories, the destruction of boundaries, and the presence of impurities and so we need monsters and we need to recognize and celebrate our own monstrosities.” - J Halberstam, Skin Shows: Gothic Horror and the Technology of Monsters
I gave a number of possible causes of the D’Ysquith ‘family curse’, if it is one – the actions of the first countess, Gregory D’Ysquith burning down a monastery (divine punishment is a possible cause), but I never gave a specific answer. I think I might be operating on the logic of the original Bisclavret – it’s irrelevant.
The reason there isn’t is because I intended it as a metaphor – which I think I’ve made clear with my chapter updates here (though you don’t have to read it that way, Death of the Author and all that), but I never quite decided and what it was a metaphor for. In terms of this particular narrative, it can be read as a metaphor for feminism, and/or a metaphor for same-sex attraction.
Feminism
Edwardian Era England, where A Gentleman’s Guide takes place, is not overly-represented in fiction. Not surprising, considering it’s a pretty short time period between the surprisingly long Victorian era and the world-changing events of World War One. However, when you think of that time period, a certain group tends to come to mind – the suffragettes.
(Just a note. Agatha D’Ascoyne, the character from Kind Hearts and Coronets who inspired Hyacinth D’Ysquith in the musical, was a suffragette. She has no lines, apart from “Shush!” – Deeds, Not Words.)
We know what these people wanted – Votes for Women. They were not prepared to wait for society to change to get it, and when peaceful protest was ignored, they began to act out. They refused to fit into their role of quiet, demure, loyal wives, and for some groups, this was seen as threatening. Anti-suffragette cartoons of the time often depicted these women as old, ugly and/or selfish for wanting similar rights to men instead of accepting their place as a ‘lesser being’.
The point I am trying to make is, being in defiance of the role you are expected to play – which Sibella is afraid to show – was seen by many to be ugly. Beastly.
Phoebe runs Henry’s country estate for him. Phoebe flaunts societal expectations by proposing to Monty, instead of waiting for him to propose, the ‘proper’ way to do things. While she is feminine, she does not fit the idea of what a woman ‘should be’.
Sibella makes a point to meet her obligations as a wife, though she does surreptitiously carry on an affair. She sacrifices her own happiness to get what she wants in a socially acceptable way. She has no intention of leaving Lionel in the source material, but she convinces herself that a rich, good-looking, polite man – what society thinks of as the ideal male – is what she wants, and realises on her wedding day that it isn’t.
And goes through with it anyway.
When she can no longer fit that mould, when she refuses to go along with Lionel’s plan to leech off the countess, when she undermines and argues with her husband, that’s when things start happening. Indeed, her ‘beastly’ outbursts manifest as standing up for herself. She ends the story as a much happier and self-assured person than she was at the beginning, and attempts to bring justice to other women.
Same-Sex Attraction
This is a bit more straightforward. We’re coming right off the back of the Victorian era here, where Oscar Wilde and others like him got their lives ruined. Same-sex relationships aren’t viewed in a positive light at all at this time – you like the same gender? Off to prison with you, deviant!
As people that were (and often still are) villainised, misunderstood and attacked for the crime of existing, some members of the LGBT community reclaim monsters such as vampires, werewolves and the Babadook as their own as a means of subverting their image in a heteronormative society. Being ‘monstrous’ is not bad. Being different is fine. You may feel malformed and wrong, but you are not. You and your quirks are accepted.
For some, the ones to fear are those who appear in the daylight.
Sibella, for all her talk of being a monster, only fights back when threatened. Morton has a heart attack when put in the position of his victims, subverting the formula he’s used to. Lionel, fearing that Sibella will leave him and damage his image, resorts to violence against Sibella and several other women he sees as substitutes for her. Mary attempts to murder Sibella for getting in the way of a monogamous man-woman relationship. In her eyes, Sibella is an irredeemable villain, but Phoebe can be ‘fixed’.
If you want to look deeper into this link between horror and the LGBT community, here’s a video essay discussing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender representation in horror films.
There are only a few non-metaphorical references to werewolves. The wolf head in Eugenia’s dower house is a family member – as previously mentioned, wolves went extinct in England during the reign of Henry VII. St Hubert’s Key is a charm that more often than not looks like a nail, and was supposed to be able to rid the body of disease caused by a dog or wolf bite. There is some science behind this – the metal was heated before being pressed to the wound, and, if the subject was at risk of contracting rabies from the injury, the heat would likely sterilise and cauterise the potential infection site.
Not the First Murder-y Heir
There are a couple of characters named or directly taken from Israel Rank – Autobiography of a Criminal, the inspiration for Kind Hearts and Coronets and A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder. I’ve compared these works before, so I’ll just go over those that appear here.
Esther (Lane) – The third object of Israel Rank’s affections, and a governess. Knows more than she’s letting on in Israel Rank, and in this story as well.
James “Jim” Morton – Appears for about a page to explain Israel’s disillusionment with the ideal male – while Morton seems great to some, he really isn’t. Since Jim only appears as a child in the book, his characterisation here is drastically different.
Lord and Lady Pebworth – Almost directly lifted from the book, with Lady Pebworth being a bad singer and Lord Pebworth an older gentleman who lets his wife get away with a lot. The difference here is that Israel introduces the Hollands to the Pebworths, while the Pebworths are hoping the Hollands introduce them to Lord and Lady Navarro.
Sir Anthony Cross – Quiet, very well-off, slightly older gentleman who is quite taken by Sibella, but it doesn’t go anywhere. Acquaintance of the Pebworths. Pretty much the same guy.
Ethel D’Ysquith (Gascoyne) – An ancestor Israel is quite taken with, not only due to the resemblance between the two. He’s made the 3rd Earl of Highhurst because I didn’t feel like making an imaginary preceding title (Monty is only the 9th Earl, while the 10th Earl Gascoyne is about five generations before Israel – Ethel was the 6th Earl) and the 2nd Earl, Roland, had already been named in the musical. Phoebe’s description of him is meant to heavily imply he was also a werewolf. If I had read the book before fleshing out the D’Ysquith family tree, he would have taken the role that the first countess plays in the narrative’s events (Ethel Gascoyne hid in a tower with an Italian magician for 20 years).
Kate Falconer – The character who would later be known as ‘Boat Girl’ in Kind Hearts and Coronets and Evangeline Barley in A Gentleman’s Guide. Her great crime is to go on holiday with her boyfriend, and gets poisoned for her troubles. She survives here, and I used her to try a formatting technique (while she speaks, none of her dialogue is in quotes: in a way, she is voiceless).
(Sir) Cheveley Drummond, (Lady) Enid Branksome, and Catherine Goodsall – only mentioned briefly. Drummond is described as handsome and ‘interesting’ by Israel, Lady Enid is a young woman from a penniless but aristocratic family, and Catherine Goodsall in an actress whose abusive husband was beaten so badly by a Gascoyne he joined the navy and never came back to land.
In addition, Lionel’s later characterisation comes directly from Kind Hearts and Coronets, since he gets almost none in the musical. His breakdown in Chapter 11 follows his emotional journey when asking for a loan – affability, begging, threatening suicide, insults and physical violence.
Literary References:
Not always relevant, but there is a wide enough variety that I’m collecting them.
Every chapter title, and the tagline of the work, comes from Manners and Social Usages by Mary Elizabeth (Mrs. John) Sherwood. It’s a bit out of date by the time of this story (written in 1884), but Sherwood does have some great phrases in her etiquette handbook.
Ruddigore is mentioned in chapter 2, only because it is a musical theatre production (opera) where ancestors play a role and family expectations are subverted.
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. Hamlet. It’s Hamlet.
When in the chronicle of wasted time, I see descriptions of the fairest wights, and beauty making beautiful old rhyme in praise of ladies dead, and lovely knights... Shakespeare’s Sonnets, Number 106.
I desire, and I crave… Fragment from Sappho’s poetry.
The countess closes her book; something by a George Reynolds. George W. M. Reynolds wrote Wagner the Wher-Wolf (with that spelling) in 1857.
I met a lady in the meads, full beautiful, a faery’s child: Her hair was long, her foot was light, and her eyes were wild. La Belle Dame sans Merci (The beautiful lady without mercy) by John Keats.
Sibella also briefly mentions Algernon Blackwood, a supernatural fiction writer who wrote a short story about a werewolf (portrayed quite differently here) that a character in 1909 could have possibly read (the story was first published in 1908).
In addition, the whole story is named after a very early depiction of a sympathetic werewolf, Bisclavret by Marie de France (and the most direct I think I’ve ever been with a title). It depicts, naturally, a werewolf (who is also a knight, because not being human doesn’t disqualify you from doing that – cutting social commentary for the 12th century) who is trapped in his wolf form after being tricked by his wife and her lover. Through chivalric behaviour to the king on a hunt, he works himself back into the royal court and, when his former wife pays a visit, bites off her nose. The king thinks the sudden aggressive behaviour from his pet prompts further investigation, the wife reveals all, and the knight is restored to human form. Also, all of the wife’s children are born without noses from then on. Lionel getting his nose bitten off is a reference to this poem.
Uncategorised Trivia
This work was written with the UK spellings of certain words, because it takes place in England. Previous works all took place in the US, and so used US spelling.
Les Patineurs Valse is French for The Skater’s Waltz. Reference to Asquith Jr. and Evangeline Barley.
All of the racehorse names Sibella finds are either variations, anagrams or synonyms of actual racehorses in the Victorian and Edwardian eras. Sir Hugh is Sir Huon, Gil Owen is Neil Gow, Irish Lass is Irish Lad, Supervision is Oversight and Pinnacle is Meridian.
Lionel was right to be concerned about Phoebe’s flower arrangement. Red begonias represent love, lavender-coloured heathers represent admiration and loneliness (and are a reference to another fandom I write for), tuberoses are symbolic of wild or forbidden passion (and was commonly used as a funeral flower), and verbena is reference to romance and sweet memories. The dead foliage is meant to mean sadness. Overall, the intended meaning is I miss you, my love.
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A Look At September 2020
A Look At September 2020
The energy of September is naturally a month that is about exposing the truth by showing us where lies, deception, and manipulation are happening in our lives. I find that it is very important that we do not beat ourselves up for not seeing things sooner; especially when it involves other people. Often times we have seen things, but dismissed them because we were not ready to see them or accept them.
During this year, the codes show that the lies, deception, and manipulation are there as teachers. They are actually there to help us find our successes. When this is at play, we learn by realizing what we need to pay more attention to in our lives. Our successes will often arise as a result of releasing those people and things that are operating without integrity.
This is so important for us to be aware of since often times we dismiss things that we see as detrimental without ever getting the value of what they have to offer. It is when we have to deal with some of the unpleasant pieces of life or challenging pieces that we are willing and able to get the assistance needed to bring us into the next opportunity. This is a time where people are willing to provide assistance.
Lies or truth are also aspects of where there is and is not love present. Love is present in the truth, and if we have successes that can come in through love during this month; then we also know that our successes will come where we are standing with the truth. I love this piece because it reminds us that even when we are not sure how to show love, we can do it by simply being in truth and integrity.
If we are to see the truth at this time, then we will also need to be willing to be still and sit in observation with things. It is through observation that we open our perspective enough to be able to look at things from multiple perspectives. As we do this, we also open ourselves to more possibilities and options to do things in our life.
When we bring these pieces together we can see that the codes are showing us, that this is a process of how to take command of our life. We often pull back from doing this, because of how poorly people are treated that are in a position of power; and how they are constantly under attack. However, being in command actually arises when we are standing in Divine principles; which is a bit different than how we traditionally think about things from the human perspective.
The more we stand in truth and integrity, the more we will be in Divine alignment. The more we are in Divine alignment the greater influence we have over people and situations in our life. Not in a way to control them; but in our ability to be an observer in the world, which allows us to always act in wisdom.
A big key to being able to be strongly in observation is to surround your own self with those that are making wise choices. If we surround ourselves with those making unwise choices; we find ourselves constantly having to be on the watch for what they are doing, and concerned with how we have to protect ourselves. However, when we surround ourselves with people that are choosing wisely, then we are able to really see things for the truth of what they are; and this in turn allows us to be wise with any actions we take in the world.
From September 1st – September 22nd the month’s energy is magnified. Relationships are likely to come strongly into question at this point as we are likely to find out that people are not who we thought they were. This is likely to bring sudden endings to those relationships where people have been operating in lies, deception, and manipulation. I have always said that people cannot hide who they really are for too long; and eventually those true colors are going to show themselves.
The relationships that come into question and those things that come to an end at this time are all part of a bigger initiation and transition for us. It is one that is connected to re-birthing ourselves into true love and enjoyment in life. It is about walking away and bringing an ending to all the things in our life that lack integrity; and to any ways that we are not acting in integrity or fudging those lines. While people might be able to be fooled, the Divine and energetic currents cannot be fooled.
This is a great time to consider what we are really learning in our relationships. Are we learning to truly love? Are we learning about ourselves? Are we learning who will stand by us no matter what?
Relationships are such powerful teachers and even though they can be stressful at times, are able to get through to us when other things don’t. This is because when we enter a relationship with someone, be it professional or intimate, we open our heart and make ourselves vulnerable enough to explore outside of our comfort zone. We also let others in to our deeper layers, where more of us can be seen; and that requires us to trust that we will not be hurt or taken advantage of.
This is why when a partner or relationship ends or trust is broken that it is so hard for us. It really isn’t about the relationship being broken as much as it is that we experienced a unity and closeness; and that leaves our human self in fear. We remember what it is like to be in unity with someone, and become sad that the unity did not last. This is really a big part of the driving force of why people often desperately want to be in relationships. Of course as we move deeper into our spiritual paths, we do not have to have people to find that unity because we are finding it within ourselves first.
From September 23rd – September 30th things may feel as if they are suddenly becoming unstuck. There is the opportunity for rapid successes to happen. However, we may also find that our own successes may ruffle the feathers of those that don’t want to relinquish their control, or that may feel threatened by our rapid progression. It will be important to stand strong, confident, and don’t be afraid to be in command or take charge of things; however, pay attention to learn ways to do that in compassionate ways.
Competition energy is strong right now; and those that feel that their power or control is threatened in any way are likely to go on the attack during this time. Competition is likely to arise from even some of the most unsuspecting places like in relationships and partnerships that we thought were strong. We may find others that compete for the attention of those that we are in a relationship with. This often times arises out of jealousy and insecurity.
When people do not feel confident in creating their own successes in their own way, they will often try to go after what others have. If they break them down in that process; the ego gets a false sense of victory, leading itself to believe that it is better than or more powerful than the person that they broke down. If they don’t break them down, then they are likely to make up a lot of reasons why they didn’t, including not trying that hard.
In codes we learn that insecurity is actually rooted in not being able to trust one’s own self to create or manifest joy. There is a fear in taking a journey through the self, being still, letting others in, and actually in creating victory or success. So the person will pretend to go after success, projecting all of their feelings of inadequacy onto others to break down the other person’s happiness; because they don’t know how to be happy themselves. They often times feel like a fraud, and get scared to let other’s in; so relationships often times remain distant and superficial.
It is possible during this time that we may find some competition between world leaders as they vie to show who is more powerful. The key will be to see which ones are not playing the power and control games and are sitting in observation. They will be the real ones to watch; and the ones that are likely to rise up quietly in the end. They are the ones that will allow everyone else to burn themselves out and come crashing down, and then gently step into the scene without any major show. The attention they draw comes from being different and not playing the same games as everyone else. They know their strength and therefore do not need to display it.
Our key points for the month are to embrace the lies, deception, and manipulation as our teachers. Successes will happen where we release those people and situations that are operating without integrity. Where there is truth, there is love. Sitting in observation awakens us to new possibilities. Surround yourself with people that are choosing wisely. Let your relationships be a way that you can learn about yourself. Do not let those that live in their own insecurities interfere with enjoying any successes that come your way. Do not engage in competition with others.
I welcome you to embrace the lessons and wisdom that come out of lies, deception, and manipulation.
I welcome you exchange those people and areas of your life that don’t have integrity for those that do.
I welcome you to consider the connection between truth and love. How can truth be a great way of showing love?
I welcome you to consider how observation can offer you possibilities that you may not have considered before.
I welcome you to surround yourself with those that have learned how to make wise decisions, and actively do so in their life.
I welcome you to see what you can learn about yourself through the relationships that you keep in your life.
I welcome you to stand strong in your successes, and don’t let people or things interfere with having them.
I welcome you to operate as a free soul, and do not engage in competition.
Actions to focus on
From September 1st – September 10th our actions have a bigger impact than normal. It may be hard for people to get motivated, since there is a tendency to not want to do too much; especially if they have been working hard for a long period of time already. The way to balance this is to engage ourselves in activities that have a spiritual focus, since these types of activities will naturally restore our energy; and they will help us to generate additional successes and luck through positive and aligned action.
There is a lot that can come from the actions we take at this time. The key will be that those actions that have the greatest successes, benefits, and payoffs will be those that we do in genuine service; without expecting anything in return. They will also be those things that add to nourishing our wholeness and soul self, and allow for strong personal exploration of the true and whole self.
Some activities that can feed our abundance and blessing energy right now, and lead to greater payoffs are yoga, body work, meditation, spiritual workshops, personal development, assisting those in need, volunteering at a shelter or nursing home, helping out a charity, or even simply giving a neighbor or friend a helping hand with something. Anything that we do with a sincere and pure heart will bring something to us. For example, if we sincerely gave without needing or expecting anything in return to a fundraiser to raise money for a playground for kids or to contribute to the well-being of those in a nursing home or to foster or rescue abused animals; we may end up making a connection that ends up leading to a new job that we enjoy more, or introduces us to someone that is able to help us in some way. Not act of kindness will go without benefits.
This is a time to put our energy into manifesting our dreams. Even small steps can open big doors for us right now, so take any step that you can towards something that is really dear to your heart. Our energy will increase, where we are working with Divine Purpose and heart. People enjoy having a sense of mission or purpose that supports the well-being of those that are not able to help themselves. This is a time where energy will surface where we feel inspired; and that is wise to pay attention to, because where we are inspired there is likely to be a natural connection with our own soul’s energy.
From September 11th – September 30th our actions become more focused on what we need to do for ourselves. During this time we experience success where we are willing to take the time to be in connection with our soul self and let it lead the way. This is a time for considering the impact that we are having with our choices. People will naturally be seeking the simpler things in life, and are looking for greater peacefulness.
As a result this time period will be great for sitting and being still in nature, or even hiking or walking in natural areas. It favors time spent looking at the night sky, or perhaps listening to waves crashing on the ocean shore. Peaceful and calm settings are almost a necessity during this time to our health and well-being.
Our body or physical self has a need to be in flow with the seasonal energy at this time. This includes enjoying foods that are fresh at this time. In the northern hemisphere this is often filled with foods like apples, pumpkins, and spices. Our eyes need to see the shifting of colors on the trees, and our bodies feel the transition of temperatures.
During this period it is important that we celebrate what is naturally available, and appreciate the successes that have come our way. Unconditional love, wisdom, and the caring of others and them for us in ways that we wish to see each other doing well and blessed is what will also nourish our bodies in addition to our hearts. Take time for close friends and those that have assisted you along the way.
The physical realm is responding the state of spiritual alignment that we are keeping. Successes and recognition come from where we operate from a pure heart and the soul’s wisdom. Good fortune shines where genuine kindness and unconditional love are present.
I welcome you to take even a small step to making one of your dreams come true.
I welcome you to do something of genuine service, without any expectation or hope for something in return.
I welcome you to work with Divine Purpose and heart in all that you do.
I welcome you to take time to focus on what you need to do for yourself.
I welcome you to let your soul self lead the way.
I welcome you to take time to sit and be still in nature, and allow it to engage your physical senses.
I welcome you to do things and enjoy foods that are part of the natural seasonal flow.
What to focus your thoughts on
From September 1st – September 5th we will do best to allow our mind to be in observation and to consider ways to bring people and things together in our life, so that they function as a more creative whole. Creative thinking comes when we are willing to really take a look at how things have worked, are working, and what is needed for them to work fluently and harmoniously. There is much to learn from engaging the creative mind; and it is creative ideas that can help us gain the assistance of those that are able to really set things in motion for us, and help to bring success to those ideas. It is important that we recognize and see the value that each person and piece has to offer; and that each one is equally as important with none being better or worse or more valuable or less valuable than the others.
It is through observation that we will find the truth by seeing who and what is not working honestly. It is in seeing this that we will be able to relieve the stress and tension that we have been feeling. When stress and tension arises in the mind, it is often times because there is deception or manipulation present. When the mind becomes stressed, we are unable to think clearly. Keeping that in mind it will not be a good time for mental or logical processes, and we will do best to avoid signing any important paperwork or making critical decisions. Through observation we can release stress and anxiety in the mind, so it is a great piece to circle back around to.
From September 6th – September 27th our mind will mostly be in a strong and balanced state. We are likely to have clarity on what we need to do, and how to be in command of our own life. We have a clearer sense of what will work and what won’t work. There may even be a stronger sense of confidence in the direction that we are headed in life.
Our caution is that we need to be careful that we are commanding our own life and not trying to control others. If you find any victim patterns or pity parties going on in your head, then you can be certain that your ego is feeling insecure and is trying to compete with the soul self. It is only wanting attention because it is feeling insecure and questioning its safety in a more soul filled path.
I find that I often end up in lots of conversations with myself when something like this comes up. I have to reassure the ego that the soul’s way is the intelligent way to go. I have to tell it how smart it is to work in partnership with the soul self. Of course when it gets too far out of hand, like taking the victim space I simply have to let my soul self take charge and put the ego in a time out; and let it know that we are not going to play those games.
We often times think of competition with others as being the only real competition that we engage in. However, when someone tries to engage others in competition they are really in competition with their own ego. At this time people that feel insecure will try to engage others in a battle of wits; wanting to prove that they are smarter than others. In essence people just want to feel smart right now, and to be validated for the choices that they are making. This can be a fine line to walk because while it can be great to support someone in their choices, we also don’t want to feed the ego in its games.
It is likely that during this time the mind has a greater interest in spiritual philosophies, esoteric thinking, unfolding the inner self, and learning how to create a “simpler” lifestyle. There is a desire for greater self-sufficiency, and that can even include thoughts towards “off-grid” living and more environmentally friendly solutions in our lifestyles. The real key will be in letting the mind explore these different options; and then considering what provides the greatest fulfillment on a soul level.
From September 28th – September 30th it will be important to put our focus and attention on completing things, and attending to responsibilities and obligations. These few days offer the potential for rapid successes which can lead to us being able to be in charge of our own life.
During this time the mind will be stimulated with exploring opportunities that are presented to us; but will also need them to be practical and reasonable to implement. It is important that we do not allow our fears to keep us from embracing things that are ready to happen now. Mental enjoyment comes out of conversations that are light-hearted with those that are close to us.
During this time the mind is trying to find a balance between different extremes. We may in some way find ourselves thrust into the spotlight; and in another craving more peaceful settings. No matter what we are doing or engaging in, it will be important to surround ourselves with those that are optimistic and full of unconditional love. This is almost a necessity in order to handle what needs to be done, and to take advantage of what is coming through for us.
I welcome you to consider how you can bring people and things into a more harmonious and cohesive whole.
I welcome you to recognize the value that each person and piece has to offer.
I welcome you to be in observation to find out the truth in things.
I welcome you to gain clarity on the direction that you want to go in life.
I welcome you to stand up to your ego if it leads you into victim spaces and pity parties.
I welcome you to explore any interests in spiritual paths, the inner self, and leading a simpler lifestyle.
I welcome you to explore opportunities that are presented to you.
I welcome you to surround yourself with those that are optimistic and full of unconditional love.
Nourishing the soul
From September 1st – September 6th our soul is running in alignment with our mind and thoughts. The soul self has no desire to be around those that are lacking in integrity and playing manipulation games. This can lead to minimal contact with others, or simply spending more time alone.
During this time our soul self needs us to surround ourselves with those that sincerely want us to succeed, and are willing to help us bring our dreams and passions into reality. It seeks to have or be a true mentor. The soul is filled when we can work as a team; and yet still be our own individual self. There is a desire to find harmony with others.
Those that are standing in strong soul energy are encouraged to step into leadership positions at this time. Others will naturally draw to them for their wisdom, kindness, and ability to observe where others excel and be able to bring that out. It is important to recognize the gifts of others, and the value they contribute. It is important to do this for each person involved in teams or groups; and not just one or two people. The soul sees all being equal, and will do best where there is no hierarchy.
From September 7th – September 30th we nourish our soul with time alone and simple things. During this time we are encouraged to engage our senses with nature. We will find fulfillment in things that provide us with experiences that are free or have very little cost.
During this time the soul needs things to be simple. It reminds us that stress is triggered and success inhibited when things become complicated. Our soul connection can make or break us at this time. It shows that it is less about doing and more about being. Our state of being can influence whether we experience windfalls or downfalls.
A big key to being in this connection is to focus on where we feel abundant and rich. We all have things at all time where we have this. When we give and share with others what we are abundant in, we create greater abundance for ourselves and others.
It times gone by the harvest season which is happening in the Northern Hemisphere at this time was all about sharing what people were abundant in with their crops. Everyone had different things, and that is the essence of where a true feast came from. With each person sharing what they were abundant in there was more than enough for everyone, even those that had nothing to contribute.
For those in the Southern hemisphere, it is the connection with inner abundance that reminds us to bring forth what has been dormant within us. It reminds us that we have much so share with others, and it is time that we stopped hoarding our gifts and allow others to experience what we have to offer. We all have something. Jesse’s mom used to say she had nothing to offer in her later years; because she was not physically able to do anything, all she could do was lend an ear to listen to others when they needed to get things out. She had no idea how important that was to everyone. Never diminish the gifts you have to offer, because we all have something; even if that is simply being a vessel of love.
I welcome you to be conscious of those you choose to spend your time with. Are they living in integrity?
I welcome you to surround yourself with people that want to see you succeed, and assist you in doing that.
I welcome you to enjoy simple things; and allow nature to engage your senses.
I welcome you to find fulfillment in things that are free.
I welcome you to focus on being more than doing.
I welcome you to connect with where you feel abundant.
The Code Journey ~ Jesse An Nichols George
#The Code Journey#Jesse An Nichols George#compassion#happiness#August 2020#joy#well-being#practical spirituality#enrichment#consciousness#conscious living
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11/11/11 tag !!!
thank u sm for tagging me @yikescomma, @buckaroowrites nd @yikeskimi !!!
rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people !
under the cut bc its a Lotta questions KSKSKSHK
yikescomma’s questions!!
1. what’s your favourite place to write?
oh this is ?? kind of a tough one bc i feel like i never Branched out in my spaces when it comes 2 being productive,, like a lot of my work is done in my bedroom just bc my desk is there and it’s the most convenient,,,, honestly im jus gonna say my favorite place to write would be from . my desk . bc it faces the window :-)
2. which character(s) from your wip(s) is your favourite?
since i only have wtsf confidently worked out ,, i’ll use those ocs !! but i think , quite Honestlie ,,, that wendy is my favorite character !! im rly in love with how she progresses as a person nd also she’s jsut . she gets it u know .
3. what are some inspirations for your wip(s)?
I TALKED ABT THIS BEFORE but b/ts’ hyyh series, my neighborhood, spring day by b/ts are a few inspirations for wtsf !!!
4. how did you start writing?
my dad got me hooked on reading when i was really really young !! and being able to read abt all these huge worlds nd being given an opportunity 2 fall in love w them rly inspired me to want to write worlds of my own . plus , i watch a lot of different shows nd animes that feed into my daydreams nd sometimes im like ‘yo,,, that was a good daydream,,,,, time 2 story it’ .
5. which of your ocs is most difficult to write?
uHGHHGHGS ARTHUR ...... trying to capture this like . enigmatic feeling while keeping close 2 his reasons for acting That way is actually ,, rly hard?? hes a tough cookie 2 crack but i will crack it .
6. what aesthetic do you associate with your wip(s)?
for wtsf ,,, quiet towns , lonely beaches , sunset nd sunrise ,,, running through the streets ??
7. do you like planning?
YEA !! i see it more as like . being able to explore ur wip and what directions it can take nd its also jsut rly helpful to have a solid foundation .
8. what is your favourite quote from your wip(s)?
i pulled this from my drabbles but: “Slow down.” Wendy grabbed Arthur’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the sand. “This world can’t keep up with you.”
9. do you like to listen to music while you write?
yes and no ?? im very particular to the kind of music im listening to nd more often than not, i write in complete silence ,,, but sometimes i’ll find a song that i feel rly fits the vibe of what im writing nd i just put it on repeat HGSHJK
10. what do you like most about your own writing?
i think i like the descriptive aspects of it ?? like how i describe places nd feelings ,,,, :-) !
11. what are/were/would be your ocs favourite subjects in school?
everyone except piper in wtsf is graduated from high school but ,, wendy liked english class the best bc it was fun nd she got good grades !! rafael definitely loved psychology nd took it at an ap level ,, arthur liked math nd chemistry .. chemistry he liked More bc he got 2 blow stuff up SKKSKSEH and piper likes world history!! tho shes not good at it . but she likes it!!
buckaroowrites’ questions!!
what is your favorite subgenre to write? to read?
i lov urban fantasy and low fantasy JGHDSHGJKS like its my favorite to write nd read bc like .. o heck ?? ghosts nd ghouls nd just overall supernatural stuff irl ?? that’s the way 2 go
if you had to be trapped on a desert island with any of your ocs, who would it be and why?
if i had 2 be trapped on a desert island ...... i’d probably choose rafael . honestlie he just seems like he always knows what’s up nd my chances of survival would increase w him JHGJKSJKS
what is your favorite medium to write?
definitely novels !! its a format i’ve pretty much grown up w and im more comfortable w this medium than any others GHSHJKS but i’d love to explore like ,, screenplays nd see where that takes me
who was your first oc?
HYLLY SHITTTT THIS BRINGS ME BACK SJHJHJGJKS i used to draw a lot back when i was younger nd so i had this oc JHJS his name was ian and he was meant for the maximum ride universe but he was a dumb dude who was 2% cat . nd he had an adopted sister ,, i forgot her name but she was part bird .
what was your first wip about?
world end club is supposed 2 be abt a group of teens who work together 2 take down a corporation that wants 2 essentially control the artificial island they live on thru engineered soldiers . ITS A CONCEPT ,, nd it requires a little Too Much for my one brain cell to think abt
thoughts on shakespeare?
uhhh no thots bc i never read his work in high school i jus know macbeth is cursed .... wow i rly dont know anything abt shakespeare huh .
poetry or prose?
o this is TOUGH i rly adore both .......... im gonna . im gonna go w prose . i lvoe poetry so much sometimes there are lines that just rly fucken punch u in the face but im gonna go w prose bc its familiar !!
would you ever co-write a story?
nO ..... i wouldnt b able 2 compromise i’d jus b like oH ACTUALLY SKSKKS MY IDEA’S DUMB LETS JUST DO URS
write what you want to write or write what you want to read/watch?
oh . fuc .... i feel like its important to have a good balance of both but . honestlie im very partial to what i want to read/watch ..
do you like to write violence?
i dont Like 2 write it but its In My Wips !
what is your favorite trope?
oH ,, probably ‘fire forged friends’ or like . mutual pining ... i have too many favorite tropes nd somehow im gonna incorporate them all .
yikeskimi’s questions!!
Tell us about the main character(s) in your current WIP!
oKAY SO im gonna try to not make this too long SJKHJGS !! wendy is a very like . prickly character . shes like a cactus . nd she’s not too fond of letting ppl get close, but the ppl who do manage to get close to her are happie 2 learn she would actually die for them . loyalty is a Huge Huge part of her character, and she cares very deeply abt the people she calls family . shes also v sarcastic nd like . ‘open ur eyes dummy’ .
arthur is a kind of person who lives heavily on false pretenses . like he projects this image bc its an image that he can control nd he jsut Rolls w it , but hes actually someone who likes 2 tease his friends nd be friendly to them ,, hes got Issuez nd is very much the type of person to be like ‘o lol im ok :-)...’ nd prioritize the needs of others
rafael is , in all honesty , just babey . he studied a lot during high school nd rly pushed himself beyond his limits bc he wants to be able 2 go 2 a good college on scholarship nd get a job 2 support his family , nd hes just ?? very responsible nd sweet but that can also manifest into him taking on more than he should nd burning out .
piper is a very ,, honestlie kinda sad character kjHGJSJ she spends a lot of time just trying 2 appeal to other ppl bc she knows her interest in the supernatural make her a ‘weird’ person nd she wants to be able 2 have real friends ,, but when she learns 2 let go of this she’s very silly nd always making jokes During The Right time ..
Do you have an all time favorite OC? Tell us about them!
hMMMM i dont think i do ??? my memory of my ocs is rly bad JHSJ so more often than not i just ,, rip i dont remember them </3
If you could be best friends with one of your OCs, who would it be and why?
ms piper chaiyathan !!!! shes a very open nd kind individual nd i feel like our humor nd joking style would match V v v well !!!
Last line you’ve written in your WIP?
Wendy, unlike her brothers Adam and Nate, had inherited her father’s rough touch, and that made them both unwanted in the high stakes setting of a diner kitchen.
If you have a chosen title for your WIP, were there any titles you considered before it? And if not, what are some titles you’re thinking of?
when the sun falls went through SO many titles nd i actually have them all here: where the sun goes / fever dreams / above the sun / where the sun follows / the drowned sun ... as u can see the sun was smth i Needed .
What is an important element in the world your WIP takes place in?
uHHHH the supernatural element is . Very important but i cant be too specific about it but i will tell u it involves a dead tree on the beach .
Tell us an out of context spoiler.
arthur gets a cool new set of eyes.
Any power couples/ships in your WIP?
wendy nd arthur babey ,,,,,, bat nd molotov cocktail duo ,,,, last name central until the important moment nd THEN they use each other’s first names ..
Any music you like listening to while you write?
uHHHH specifically for wtsf i listen 2 a lot of hozier, lorde, conan gray, khalid nd halsey :-)
What would your main character(s) favorite song be?
oH okay i got this in the BAG ... wendy’s favorite song would Absolutely be work place by hozier or more than sorrow by a-lin ,,, arthur would definitely b listening 2 like . free spirit by khalid .. piper, since she p much spent all of middle school nd 2 years of high school in thailand ,, i think she’
Which character in your WIP could you relate to the most?
honestly? all of them !!! a lot of the characters in wtsf have little bits nd pieces of me bc thats how all my ocs come into existence nd theres no One character thats like “oh,,, das me”
and here are my 11 questions !!
Which one of your OCs do you think could survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?
What’s something you’ve been itching to write about?
Share the last paragraph you wrote!
Do you prefer coming up with plots or characters? Why?
Do you have any abandoned WIPs? Tell us about them!
What are some favorite themes/tropes to write about?
How do you get into the zone for writing?
Tell us a random fact for any of your OCs !!!
Are you someone who needs a visual for your WIPs?
What are some influences to your writing style?
If you had to be a character in one of your WIPs, which WIP would it be and what role would you play?
i’m gonna tag @babyreeds @holotones @alejandroistyping @noloumna @faerisms @omniawrites @aslanwrites @ashesconstellation @thegrievingyoung @glittcrpeach @syposium !!! no pressure to do it if u dont want to tho <3
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Is Traveling Really Therapeutic?
For those of you who haven’t followed my social media this year (I really apologize for how showy I can be on Facebook), 2019 has been a really powerful year of my life.
In the first week of January, I took a weekend trip to Toronto with two of my best friends. We did everything from the driving to the hotel booking to the meal planning. It was intense and so, so much fun. Over my spring break, my dad and I took a week trip out to California, Nevada, and Arizona. We started in Vegas, worked our way the entire way through Death Valley into the Sierras, and back down to Willow Beach. In the span of four days, I fell in love with the Sierras, Joshua Tree, and flying in planes. It was right before this trip ended that I received an email, lying in bed as the sun poked through my window shades, that I had earned an internship in Edgewater, Maryland, with the Smithsonian. Directly after spring break ended, I headed back to school where I remained until May 16th. Over Memorial Day weekend, I moved down to Maryland, where I lived until August 2nd. Two weeks later, I hopped on a plane to move to Amsterdam for study abroad, where I currently sit writing this post.
If you aren’t a seasoned traveler or you don’t have excessive wanderlust, your head is probably spinning from reading that paragraph. I don’t blame you, because my head spun while I wrote it.
There have been summers of my life where I was barely home at all, usually because of a lengthy field trip in June and then vacations in July and August. Yet, this has been the first year of my life where I have truly been everywhere, up and down, side to side. Every minute of every day. Every month had a new place, a new adventure.
I’ve been in Amsterdam almost a full month now (more on this later). Yet, I’m still having the moments where I leave class or get off the tram or open my curtains in the morning and think holy shit, I live here. This city is one I’ve dreamt about visiting for my entire life. Nothing is more striking than walking down a narrow, brick street in Amsterdam West and realizing you’ve seen a picture of it in National Geographic.
I grew up watching Bindi Irwin, Malala Yousufzai, Malia Obama. These young women are all my age, women who started globetrotting before they started high school. Their shows, books, and photos have instilled in me dreams of journalism in the Middle East, making a difference in the animal kingdom, and kickstarting campaigns that work toward reducing sexual stigmas against women. If the amount of traveling and adventure I’ve had in 2019 had taught me anything, it taught me, finally, that the world is big, but I am bigger, and I can do the things I want to do.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how “The Year Quinn Goes Everywhere” ended up being the last year of this decade. In 2010, I was an annoying, awkward, anxiety-riddled fifth grader who had no idea where I stood in the world. In one single decade of the 2010’s, I battled middle school, high school, and over two years of college. I flew threw my teenage years directly into my early twenties where I am now. I changed a lot, in so many ways. Quite honestly, if I had a time machine, I might use it to return to that 2010 Quinn and show her what she’d turn into by 2020. That said, I’m not sure she’d believe me.
This rambling brings me to the purpose of this blog post: is traveling as educating and therapeutic as we are led to believe?
My first year of college, I didn’t do very much outside of academics. Multiple things were occurring in my life that I disliked strongly but didn’t have the courage to end because I didn’t think I could. This last year, a few major changes happened in my life that for once, I welcomed with open arms. Then the spring semester happened. My social life was awesome, and my grades stayed mostly decent, but I felt drained from the life changes and my mental health dipped a little. Not a lot, but enough to feel disappointed in myself. For about a month, (this is my first time admitting this), I strongly considered dropping out of college, not sure if I had what it took to keep going. I told myself to finish what I’d started, to prove to the world that average kids like me could still make something of themselves. I suppose, ultimately, I realized I needed to keep going because 2010 Quinn had kept going, and she’d made it. If I kept going, I would make it, even if it was a difficult journey.
A love of travel is something I think I love, partly, because it runs through my family’s blood. On my father’s side of the family, there are seven cousins. I am the youngest, and my oldest cousin is roughly eight years older than me. Between all of us, we’ve lived in different countries throughout Europe, South America, and North America. Between the cousins and the parents and the grandfather, the 16 of us or so have covered every continent on Earth, dozens of countries, and so, so many cultures. If I didn’t have excessive wanderlust, I’d be kicked out of my family.
I know I’ll get backlash for saying this, but I do not like the way our current governmental administration looks at the rest of the world. I don’t like “America First” or “Make America Great Again”. I dislike these phrases because they isolate us. They prohibit us from the ability to walk a mile in another’s shoes. They imply that we used to be something fantastic and then we weren’t, for a long time. Our administration tells migrants and refugees they are not welcome here or they should go home, when in fact our country is founded upon immigrants and the work, they do to keep themselves alive. It’s occurred to me several times that our administration focuses on these phrases because they have never worried about anything, or anyone, else but themselves.
This, my friend, is where traveling comes in. Just by visiting Toronto, Death Valley, and Amsterdam, I’ve seen ways of life that are entirely different from my own. There are differences in safety measures, environmental protection, and the way homeless people will react to your presence. Differences in grocery stores, the way people hold doors open, and food preparation. Mind-blowing little things you could possibly only notice if you travel to these different places.
In some ways, 2019 has been one giant therapy session for me so far. I’ve learned (thus far) how independent I can be—how well I can take care of myself when nobody else can do it for me. I’ve looked some of my greatest fears (more on these later) in the face and told them to fuck off. Traveling forces you to leave your comfort zone. It forces you to expose the raw parts of you to the literal, worldwide public audience that watches you navigate an airport or a new city.
I’ve cried a lot this year, sometimes from sadness and sometimes from being so happy I cannot contain it all. I’ve smiled so much that I think any wrinkles I started developing have dissipated. Until this year, when I started going on so many trips, I never realized how trapped I feel in my hometown. Of course, I love going home for a few weeks at a time, specifically during the holidays. Yet, whenever I return to the town I grew up in and I drive past my high school, I feel myself reverting back to who I was as a teenager. The overly introverted, shy kid who doesn’t know where she’s going. I don’t dislike this version of myself, but I’m still glad she’s gone, and I never want to return to her.
At the end of this year, I think I’m going to get to look back at my adventures and realize how much I’ve changed. Or at least, I hope so. I feel refreshed and new, and hopefully I’ll give off similar vibes when I come home in a few months. And, I’ll get to answer once and for all if this year was as therapeutic as it currently feels.
Mostly, I hope that somewhere out in space, wherever that fifth grade, 2010 Quinn is, that she can deem herself proud of me. I’m obscenely proud of her, and somehow, I think she knows that.
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22 Things I Learned by 22
I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22! Yes, you read it right. I just celebrated my 22nd birthday so… Happy birthday, self! I’m officially in my early 20s. While there’s so much to look forward to, I know that there is a certain level of pressure that comes with getting older. I know I’m still considerably young, but at this age, society expects young adults to have their lives *figured out* already. So yeah, this is me succumbing to the pressure and pretending to know what to do, where to be, how to act, and when to take risks. *note sarcasm*
I must say it’s really awkward to start this entry with that greeting but there isn’t much that I can do about it. It’s the very reason I’m writing this one. *sighs* A month ago, I was thinking of a fun way to celebrate my birthday. We’re still stuck in quarantine, and even if some establishments are already open, I’d rather be safe than sorry. So, I thought of posting something on this site to sort of celebrate my birthday and share something to the people who might be interested. With that being said, let give you the 22 Things I Learned by 22!
Disclaimer: I am, in no way, an expert to giving tips and pieces of advice, but traversing through adulthood taught me a couple of lessons which I think are worth sharing. I only finished school last year, but my sudden immersion to the “professional world” a.k.a. work life allowed me to go through paradigm shifts I didn’t ever think I would experience. I’d like to say that I also saw the harsh realities of life 2 years into this path I’m currently taking. So my advice to you is to take everything you’re about to read with a grain of salt. *winks*
1. Health is wealth.
Now that we’re experiencing a global pandemic, I realized how important health is. I used to eat whatever I want (hence, the weight loss and weight gain cycle) and deprive myself of sleep. Now, more than ever, is the time for us to take good care of our bodies. #panggap lol
2. Work is hard, that’s why it’s called “work”.
My internship is Thailand gave me a glimpse of the life of a teacher (which I thought was fun) and I thought that it’s more or less how it feels in the real world. Not that it isn’t fun, it’s only now that I realized how heavy the responsibility is– that it even extends outside of the classroom.
3. Small talk is boring.
I’ve always been one to enjoy lengthy, deep, and mind-boggling conversations. It bores me when I meet people and we just engage in small talks. Like come on, let’s talk about music, politics, religion, mental health, adulting, etc. I think it’s the reason why people get tired of the “Kumain ka na ba?” narrative. *face palm*
4. Social media is not real life.
I used to scroll through social media endlessly to know what everyone is doing, but after a while, I realized how it’s only a reflection of someone’s highlights. A person can look good and perfect on Instagram, but behind the filters and curated feeds are people who deal with problems and struggles on a daily basis.
5. Happiness is a by-product of purposeful living.
To achieve happiness, you must live purposefully. It’s a matter of motion before emotion, so before you feel happy, you have to do something that’s good for your soul. Stop making excuses. Pursue your passion. Serve others. Find your purpose. Design a life that’s worth living and happiness will come to you.
6. Change is inevitable.
I know this a cliché, but going through changes and shifts over the past two years taught me to acknowledge change. As much as the people, things, and feelings change, I also do. It makes me sad sometimes how I’m no longer the version of myself that I used to be, but I’d rather change than stay the same.
7. Rejection is redirection.
People see rejection as a bitter pill, but I realized that it saves you from something (or someone lol) that isn’t meant for you. It sucks to be rejected but if anything, it leaves an open space in your life which you to acquire something. So pick yourself up and move forward.
8. Jumping into conclusion is a bad habit.
I know it’s easier to just analyze things in your head but if you can, communicate. Scratch that, you MUST communicate. Don’t let your thoughts cloud your judgment on a person or a situation just because there isn’t an explanation for it yet. Clarify, then comprehend.
9. Being busy is different from productivity.
Productivity means achieving the things that you have to do and being able to rest deliberately. If you’re just working all the time and have a lot of things on your plate, then you probably are just busy. Use your time well and work smart. Avoid spreading yourself too thinly and maintain your focus.
10. Overthinking is a waste of time.
Oh, I can’t stress this enough. I am NOT an overthinker, but I’ve met some people who are. Thus, I’ve also seen how it takes up much of their time. Sometimes, your biggest enemy is your own mind. Stop overthinking, let it go, and give yourself peace. Pray about it and trust the process.
11. People change and so do relationships.
It saddens me how I’m no longer friends with some people I once considered my “best friends.” People grow, and sometimes, we grow in opposite directions. I know I have my fair share of faults, but I choose not to blame anyone anymore. Perhaps, things are better off this way– distant, but at peace.
12. Waiting seasons are not wasted seasons.
Finishing college, getting a job, earning my license– these are just some of the things I achieved last year. Trust me, I spent countless days and nights just waiting for these things to happen, and while I was waiting, I focused on the things I can do. The longer the wait, the sweeter the victory will be.
13. Supporting others will not invalidate your success.
Support other people on their winning seasons because you don’t have an idea what they lost during their losing season. It’s all a matter of timing. If other people seem to be winning, clap for them. You’ll have your time soon, and when it happens, your success will be magnified.
14. The biggest pains can come from our pleasures.
“If it feels too good, question it.” This is a quote I got form one of my favorite podcasts. Sometimes, we find delight in things without seeing through them. Watch out for the things that seem to be perfect. I’m not telling you to be suspicious. What I’m trying to say is that you should guard your heart. *winks*
15. Baby steps are still progress.
Taking small steps towards the right direction is better than running fast heading to the wrong direction. Need I say more? Value your small efforts. Take it one day at a time. The rate that other people are operating at should not dictate your pace as long as you have your eye on the road.
16. What others think of you is none of your business.
Whether you do good or bad, “some people” will always have something to say. I guess it’s just engraved in their identity to criticize and find faults. We may feel the need for validation to come from others, but if there is someone who knows you more than anyone, it’s you. Keep doing you!
17. Save money wisely.
Adulting is not complete without money matters. In your 20s is the best time for you to save money wisely and by wisely, I mean: a) cut down unnecessary expenses; b) invest on the things that you can use repeatedly; and c) don’t put all your eggs in one basket– have various savings for different purposes.
18. Don’t operate on high emotions.
Growing old teaches me not to be a slave to my emotions. I’m more of a rational person than an emotional one, but there are STILL times when my emotions take a hold on me, and when I do, I tend to say things that hurt people. Let your emotions die down before you say/do anything.
19. There is a time to give up.
At some point, you will realize that some things aren’t mean for you and it’s totally fine. By holding on to ~those things~, you might be wasting more time. It’s about accepting the things that you can’t control, the things that aren’t for you, and the things that you can pursue. *fist bump*
20. Growth can be painful.
When it’s scary is the best time to jump. Taking risks is just a constant part of adulthood. Going out of my comfort zone is one of the best decisions I have made. You’ll grow even more when you are in unfamiliar places and new environment. Have it in you the courage to take that leap of faith!
21. It’s not your job to fix people.
Even if you give them all the love in the world, people will still remain the same if they refuse to be helped. They will keep doing the same things and acting the same way despite your best efforts. Hence, you can only be there for them and teach them how to heal themselves.
22. Put yourself first.
Last but definitely not the least, prioritize yourself. This is one lesson I learned the hard way as I constantly put other people before me. While I still struggle with this, I now take self-love more seriously and value my mental health above anything. You have to save yourself because everyone is busy saving themselves. #harshtruth
And that wraps up the 22 Things I Learned by 22! Again, I’m not an expert and I’m just a mere young adult wading my way through this crazy world. I just hope these things made sense to you as much as it did to me. There are still a lot of things that I want to include but I only wrote the ones that resonated well with me– think I can reserve them for another blog entry. What else do you want to see here on my blog? Let me know by sending me a message and I’ll try my best to post more entries.
Don’t forget to check out my social media pages!
Till the next entry!
Bry. x 102420
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Twist of Fate - Chapter 5
Chapter 5 is here! Sorry that it took so long! In case you forgot the previous few parts here’s the link to my A03 format of this and the very first one on here!
A03
Part 1
Jughead still couldn’t quite grasp the idea of conducting the interview normally. He usually scrutinizes his possible employees to see how well they crack under pressure. He didn’t want to do this with Betty, he already knew she was an amazing writer from all of the old Riverdale articles written about her. He did do his research before letting her live in his home, only a fool wouldn’t.
“So, Miss Cooper, what made you interested in applying for this job?” Jughead read the first question, clearing his throat slightly and leaning back into his chair with ease. Betty’s warm smile remained etched across her features. Opening the seemingly full binder she had brought in with her, she started to speak.
“I’ve had a passion for writing and journalism since I could remember. My parents own their own newspaper back in my home town. It was called The Register. Most summers I would intern there, learning the craft some might say. In between that I worked at a local diner and kept my grades up. Speaking of grades, here’s my GPA, grade sheet and certificates to prove that I didn’t just print off a random sheet.” Betty spoke fluidly and confidently, shocking Jughead in the process at how professional she really could be. “I also have some of my previous journalistic work in case that was needed.” I guess that explains why her binder is so full.
“Miss Cooper, I have to say I’m quite impressed. Speaking from a professional viewpoint, it looks like you have incredible potential. A few more questions and then I’ll be out of your hair. May we proceed?” Jughead swiftly grabbed the pile of papers Betty had slid across the desk, flicking through them promptly. “What would you say are the best features you can apply to a workplace?”
The interview continued like that for another 10 minutes before both roommates stood up and shook hands firmly. Betty had thought the interview had gone well, considering it was her roommate who was living a secret double life as a multimillionaire. Jughead too, thought it had gone well. He really wanted to hire Betty as one of his editors. It was a big job role that she hadn’t signed up for; she came to work as a basic journalist.
“Miss Cooper, I don’t want to step out of line here. But we have another job role available and I personally think it would fit your abilities a lot better.” Jughead paused briefly to examine Betty’s face. She looked happy but something in her features grimaced. “It’s not because you’re my roommate either. I would just like you to apply for the editor in chief position instead of just a reporter. You still get to write your own pieces.” Jughead rushed out. Betty instantly lit up.
“Of course sir, I’ll look forward to that call back.” Betty gathered the rest of his things and walked towards the door. Just as she opened the door she span around. “By the way, as Betty, what did you want for dinner tonight? I was thinking spaghetti Bolognese but I didn’t know if you liked it?” She said hopefully. Jughead smiled as he sat back in his seat.
“I like Bolognese a lot, Betty. I get off work at half 4, we can talk more then. I’m sure there’s a lot you’re confused about.” He spoke slowly, making sure to keep eye contact with her the entire time. Betty’s cheeks were flaming, it’s not every day your hot roommate/possible boss/best friend’s brother stares into your eyes for more than 3 seconds. Betty swiftly nodded and made her way out of the door.
“See you later Holden Caulfield.” Betty teased, shutting the door before he could respond. Little to her knowledge, those words made Jughead sit back in his chair and smile like an idiot. This mere interaction threw his mind off of schedule for the rest of the day. He reached over and pressed the microphone button to contact his assistant.
“Hey Lydia, yeah, could you cancel all of the editor interview please? I think we’ve found our girl.” He smiled yet again, dreaming that the next few hours would pass by in a blur. He doesn’t know why, but being with Betty is so easy. Even if he’s known her for less than a week, he feels like he’s known her forever. He practically has, Veronica blabbed nonstop about her ‘internet bestie’ being the walking example of perfection. Jughead couldn’t agree more.
Later on, sat at the table over steaming plates of Bolognese and mugs of hot tea, the pair sat in a comfortable silence. Jughead wanted to explain everything to Betty. The least she deserved was a bit of intel, but his mouth couldn’t form the right words. This is the first time he’s wanted to pour his heart out to someone. The damaged loner strikes back. Betty seemed to sense exactly what he was thinking.
“My parents were overbearing. My mother only cared to make me perfect and my father was a liar. My sister got knocked up and ran off with her ginger devil of a boyfriend when she was 17. After she left she never bothered to get a hold of me whilst my parents worked harder to ‘fix’ me. The only friend I had was Kevin, my gay best friend. My whole high school life I was bullied for being Polly’s sister and for being Elizabeth Cooper in general.” Betty said in one breath, not looking phased at all as she chewed on another bite of her dinner. Jughead’s eyes were wide with disbelief at her outburst. “We all have secrets we want to hide Juggie, but the sooner you say them out loud the sooner they’ll stop weighing you down.” Betty spoke, taking a long sip of her tea afterwards.
“My dad was an alcoholic and my mother was a selfish bitch. My baby sister was the only sweet thing in my world. My entire childhood consists of me holding my sister close whilst my parents fought nonstop. We both got put into the social system and separated. 6 years later I ran away from my 3rd foster home and went back to Greendale. There I saw my parents with my little sister looking happier than ever and my dad was sober. Hiram Lodge saved my life; he took me in when I had nothing. I was a malnourished kid freezing in the streets and he took me in like I was his own son. They cared for me. So, I got a name change and became a Lodge. Ronnie and I hit it off instantly. She might as well be my blood.” Jughead scrambled for a while, trying to find the right words to portray his story correctly. He avoided Betty’s gaze, scared senseless at how she would react.
“Juggie.” Betty cracked out, her voice wracked with emotion. He looked up shamefully to meet her warm and welcoming eyes. They were filled with tears, some escaping down the porcelain skin of her face. Her hands reached out to cup his face, bringing his head higher up. “You are so brave. You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Betty sternly spoke, the emotion still clear in her voice. Jughead wanted to believe her, but he was nothing. Before he could respond Betty got up from her seat and walked to him, wrapping her arms around him. She pulled him into a tight hug, rubbing his back reassuringly. Only then did Jughead start sobbing. He’s not a usual crier but when he does have the odd occasion, it’s a sob.
They stayed like that for a while, finding comfort in holding each other close. They could’ve stayed in that moment forever if not for the front door bursting wide open. The culprit was, of course, Veronica Lodge. This time, sporting a plaid red mini skirt, a regular black top, her pearls and cute heels that were probably worth more than a month’s rent.
“Hola, tis I, V Lodge.” She strutted into the kitchen, wavering slightly as she noticed Jughead and Betty’s teared up expressions. Archie followed her in suit, sporting a regular red shirt and black skinny jeans. “Wait what happened? Are you okay?” Ronnie rushed over, pulling her brother and her best friend into a bone crushing hug. Betty chuckled slightly, pulling back so she could speak to the raven haired girl in question.
“I told her everything.” Jughead mumbled. Veronica nodded lightly, pulling him in a little harder. She knew nothing more needed to be said tonight. As chairman of the fun committee, she deemed herself responsible for making sure tonight would be the funniest night of their boring lives.
It started off by getting into their comfiest pajamas and playing Just Dance on the Xbox. That, obviously, ended with Jughead falling gracefully onto the floor and Betty beating him by almost 2000 points. Veronica was the champion by the end, Jughead coming last. Betty wasn’t too caught up over being 2nd, she knew she would be Sing Star. Which she did, followed by Jughead coming last, yet again. His excuse was one he couldn’t say aloud, but he was so blown away by her angelic voice. He was entranced. Veronica noticed this and added it to the list of things she needed to ambush him about.
“Aha! Something I’m finally in the lead for. Have fun in the clutter zone you low budget Lewis Hamilton.” Jughead boasted, clearly winning at Mario Cart. The only talent he’s shown to possess so far is button smashing. Even if he had failed miserably at everything, he had an amazing night. Betty being there made it 100x better than any of the other game nights the 3 had before. She made everything better. At around 10pm Archie and Veronica had left for their apartment whilst Betty and Jughead cleared up the remaining dishes and stray pillows.
“Tonight was really fun Juggie. I’m glad I met you guys.” Betty spoke warmly to Jughead, leaning against the sink and watching him put the leftover food in the fridge. He turned around and smiled a genuine smile at her. The raven haired boy closed the fridge door and walked over to Betty, pulling her into a soft hug. Betty accepted with open arms, resting her head in the nape of his neck. Something about this felt right, they both felt it. The spark igniting in their hearts. Neither of them acted on it that night. Instead, they went to their respective beds and laid their heads. Both were dreaming of the endless possibilities in their future together, not knowing how true those thoughts would become.
#bughead#bughead fanfiction#bughead fanfic#jetty#betty and jughead#betty cooper#jughead jones#bughead au#riverdale#riverdale fanfiction#riverdale fanfic
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NaNoWriMo Part 2: Stepping up to the Challenge
The best part of any vacation is the expectation leading up to it. Conversely, the worst part of any challenge is that similar expectation. Usually. Unless that expectation wildly underestimates the size of the challenge. In that case, the worst part is after the first day, nine hours straight spend writing in my bed, getting up only one time to go to the bathroom and get a glass of orange juice (from the kitchen, not the bathroom). And after that day, with my brain fried and my body a pile of Jell-O, I hadn't met my goal. I'd failed. The very. First. Day. And I only had twenty-nine more days to go. Oh, and I'd also just received an email that two of my short stories had been rejected from a small publisher. Yeah, not a great start.
At that point, it would have been easy to quit. To say I'd been foolish to think I could do it. Writing an entire book in a month? While working a full-time job and doing my part to raise two young girls? Yeah, it sounded kind of nuts to me, too. But thankfully, I'd already invested in this project long before it grew to such a daunting size. For months I've been brainstorming, researching, and plotting, I had dozens of hours invested in the project before it ever began. In some ways, I had years of work invested in it. Of all my other novels, the half-million words of short stories I've edited, the craft books I've read, the writing conferences I've flown around the country for. They've all worked up to where my career is at this moment—writing this novel. And so, after I put in my first day of real work, quitting would have meant so much more than just scrapping nine hours.
So as you can guess, I didn't quit. I didn't even scale back my expectations. In fact, after gauging my chapter lengths against the content, I realized my story was going to be longer than my previous estimate of 80,000 words. In fact, it looked like it would be closer to 100,000. So what did I do? I readjusted my schedule to compensate not only for a slower writing pace than expected, but also for another 20,000 words. The end result was a little over 100 hours of dedicated, uninterrupted novel writing time over the next 30 days.
Which, as you've probably already realized, isn't just a commitment on my part. On that first Wednesday (the one where I only left my bed one time until 6 p.m.), my wife came in to talk to me maybe two times. Through screaming kids, dirty dishes, and running her own online business, she went against every little voice whispering to her, "Get that lazy, no-good jerk out of bed and make him do something for this family!" Okay, maybe the voices didn't say that (hopefully not, anyway). But they probably weren't far off at times. But instead of giving into them, she just smiled as I stumbled downstairs—brain-fried and eyes glazed over—just in time for dinner.
So as I doubled down and plotted out every single hour of writing for my next month, I definitely felt a pang of remorse. Was I really being fair? As a middle-aged head-of-household and sole breadwinner, what the heck was I doing locking myself away from my family just to write a made up story? With my wife in need of assistance and my children growing a month older, how exactly could I justify this project?
And then I sat down and talked to my wife about it. I talked about the prospects coming up at the beginning of the year, about the feeling (whispers, as I once heard them called during a Sunday morning sermon) I'd lived with for a while now that told of big changes to come. I explained how this story idea was a big one. How it just might be the best thing I've ever written. How it had to be finished before things took off next year, or else it may never get finished at all. And as I spoke, Alaina responded with a polite little smile. "Yeah, it sounds like we just need to make it through the end of this year."
She trusted me. Completely. She was ready to do her part, to work doubly hard not only to pick up my slack, but also to grow her own business at the same time. She definitely doesn't always understand what I'm doing as my fingers click away on my keyboard, but she supports it in her own way. She supports it by not leaving me. And for now, that's all that I can ask.
With that small measure of permission and support, I rallied. I couldn't fail because my success was now also tied to a promise to my wife. I pored over my hand-written schedule, tweaking it here and there for known and unknown variables, and then transferred it to my iCalendar. And then I synced it to Google Calendar. And then I made it my phone background. I wanted it everywhere. Ever present. Reminding me at every moment what I'd signed up for. Because taking one scheduled night off wouldn't mean readjusting my goal. It would mean making it up the next day.
And then came day two. And you know what? I met my goal. And the third day? I exceeded my goal of 10,000 words. How cool is that? As I'd expected (and had even experience in previous stories), starting out would be the toughest part. I could expect my pace to quicken somewhat as the story grew more established. At least that's what I kept telling myself.
So after the end of week one, here's the rundown:
Wednesday, Nov 1st" Goal: 10,000 words; Actual: 9 hours, 7,583 words
Thursday, Nov 2nd Goal: 1,500 words; Actual: 1.5 hours, 1,761 words
Friday, Nov 3rd Goal: 8,000 words; Actual: 10 hours, 10,323 words
Saturday, Nov 4th Goal: 1,500 words; Actual: 1.5 hours, 1,322 words
Sunday, Nov 5th Goal: 0 words; Actual: 0 hours, 0 words
Monday, Nov 6th Goal: 1,500 words; Actual: 1.5 hours, 1,837 words
Tuesday, Nov 7th Goal: 2,000 words; Actual: 2 hours, 2,053 words
For a grand total word count after week one of: 25.5 hours, 24,879 words
Now, I know 100,000 words is a long way off, especially considering the effort I've put forward this week. But it's also completely attainable. It reminds me of those goobers on Shark Tank. People don't succeed by waiting for big breaks to fall into their laps. They have to fight for them. They have to align themselves with spouses and friends and teams that will fight for them. They have to plan, and self-motivate, and keep a clear eye on reality at all times.
This project, if nothing else, is going to change how I see myself. It has already pushed me past my comfort zone. No one is giving me this deadline. Succeeding or failing will look pretty similar on December 1st. But I will succeed. It'll take a village and a lot of caffeine, but I'll do it. And maybe something bigger will come out of it than I ever imagined.
Now if you'll excuse me, my brain and my fingers need a quick break before I crawl back into my writing hole. Tune in next time to see if I develop pressure sores on my butt.
#nano 2017#nanowrimo#amwriting#writerlife#writer probz#overcoming adversity#inspirational#momblr#mumblr#dadblr#underestimate#stepping up#stranger things#trickortreat
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05/01/2019 DAB Transcript
Judges 13:1-14:20, John 1:29-51, Psalms 102:1-28, Proverbs 14:15-16
Today is the 1st day of the month of May. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I am Brian. It is great to be here with you as we step into this 5th month of the year. And oh, the stories we have talked about in our first four months together. And we are now one third of the way through the Bible. So, congratulations well done making it here to May 1. And we’ll do what we always do, no matter what month or week or whatever day it is that we’re in, we’ll take the next step forward because that's how we move through these months and weeks and get to the end of the year and the end of the Bible. So, we’ll pick up where we left off yesterday, which will take us back into the book of Judges where we’re learning of the different judges and the different generations that came after Joshua’s leadership. And today we will begin another very famous story, the story of the judge Sampson. So, we’ll red Judges chapters 13 and 14 today.
Commentary:
Alright. So, as we begin this brand-new sparkly month that we're moving into, this fifth month of the year, let's just take stock of where we are. So, obviously, in the world we are in the transition of seasons, at least we are around here but when is that not happening, we’re always in transition and we’re always transitioning from books and stories in the Bible to the next one and we’ve found this fascinating Sunday school story of Samson who was one of Israel's judges. And as his story unfolds we’ll not only get a glimpse into how volatile the situation was at that time, we’ll get a pretty good hard look at our own selves and a look into our own soul’s motivations. Samson will teach us much in the days ahead as we move into this new month.
And we've also just recently began the final gospel. So, we’re moving through the last gospel, the gospel of John. So, today we found ourselves at the Jordan River and Jesus is beginning His ministry and a loose band of brothers are coalescing around Him. And once again, we get to look at the counterintuitive way that Jesus chose His inner circle, right? He didn't set up a sign somewhere and host job interviews, He didn't review their education, He didn’t call up their former employers, He wasn't looking for the strongest people or the smartest people, He didn't choose anyone with marketing experience, He didn’t hire anybody write His speeches for Him. His invitation was open for anyone with an open heart and eyes to see, and ears to hear and thankfully He's doing the same thing. We all fall into the category, we’re not equipped…we’re not equipped to change the world, but we are, and we’re supposed too. And, so, let's remember that as we go into this month. We’re supposed to be revealing God's kingdom. It is the same spirit and we’ve talked about this so many times and we'll talk about it so many more times. According to the Scriptures, it’s the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead, it’s the same Holy Spirit that empowered Jesus that lives in us and we are supposed to be doing the work of Christ in this world. And, so, we see when Jesus came, He didn’t pick the people who could figure out how to get it done with or without God, He picked the people with eyes to see and ears to hear and who could do nothing without faith and who weren’t trying to rationalize everything way.
Prayer:
Father, thank You for sending Your Holy Spirit among us. We confess and apologize and repent for how often we ignore, how often it's not even a category for consideration, how often we do talk to You but we just are telling You what we want You to do for us and what we need and then we say Amen and just think that somehow You’re to gather all that up together and plop it in our lap when actually You would lead us toward those answers if we would listen to You. And, so, we’re listening Father. We’re moving into this new month. We’ve come through a busy month of April. We’ve moved through the resurrection story and found new life in You and Your word is filling us up every day feeding our souls. We’re listening. So, come Holy Spirit as we move forward into this year. Lead us we ask in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Announcements:
dailyaudiobible.com is the website, its home base, its where you find out what’s going on around here. So, be sure to stay tuned and stay connected in any way that you can.
If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible in the common mission that we share, which is to bring the spoken word of God read fresh every day and offer it to the world to anyone who will listen to it anywhere on this planet, anytime of day or night and to build and foster community around that rhythm so that we know that as we’re going through this year we’re not going to this year alone. We may feel physically alone or isolated, but we are not alone, we’re in this together. If that brings life and light and good news to you and into your life and into your world, then thank you for your partnership. So, there's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you're using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.
And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.
And that is it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.
Community Prayer and Praise:
Good morning everyone this is Kristi and Tim from Kentucky. We are doing a little traveling today and I just wanted to call and wish China and Ben a beautiful wedding day. I’ve been thinking about you all week and I’m excited for you. We are praying that you have a beautiful day weather-wise and that everything is perfect, and I know that it will be. So, just wanted to let you guys know that we love you very much. And Brian, and Jill, today you were talking about a bittersweet day, but let me tell you something, you are gonna be her daddy and her mama forever. And, so, this is just opening a new chapter into your lives but always remember that China will always be your little girl. Alright everybody. I love you guys and I pray each of you are having a most blessed and lovely day.
Hey family this is Malisa from Albertville Alabama. China, I hope your day is beautiful. I know you’re going to be a beautiful bride and I wish you and Ben much happiness and love. Hey, Brian. Hey Jill. I don’t know why I’m nervous. Anyway, I need you all the pray for me. I’m having surgery on Tuesday. I have gallstones and it’s really painful and my families been going through a lot lately. My mom was in CCU about a week ago and she’s doing better, and my brother-in-law was in a pretty bad wreck, in __ Georgia and he’s not saved, and his name is Nino. Please pray for him. Pray for Gabby. She’ll be going into high school next year and she won an award the other day. And pray for my other daughter Darion, we call her pudding. She’s in China. I love you all so much. Pastor Gene, I hope your rash is clearing up. Mark Street, I love you. Brother, you keep getting’ up. Every time you fall, you get back up. God’s gotcha. I love this whole family. Johnny, I pray for your friend Nick. Bless you my little brother. I love you all so much. Y’all have a great day. Bye-bye.
I’m now outside my comfort zone headed places Lord unknown I’m trusting You to lead the way trying to focus not to stray yet looking back with longing Lord I see many warnings that I ignored Like Lots wife I’m stuck again I love You Lord but I often bend Your will for me I don’t now really know but my love for You can only grow You comfort me in times of stress the more I stray the more You bless help me Lord to give You all and though I stumble not to fall help me do the things I say and hear me lord each time I pray I’m now outside my comfort zone headed places Lord unknown I’m trusting You to lead the way Lord please hear these words I say and let me not be lost in sin I know Your way is right please bless. Amen.
[email protected]. Like to give congratulations to China and Ben on their marriage. I pray that you have many, many, many, many years of oneness in the Lord and in each other. And once again, Brian and Jill, the rest of the Hardin family, thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit flow keep in flown’ y’all. All right. Bye-bye
Hello Daily Audio Bible, this is Irish Ian in London. I’ve been a listener for 13 years but this is my first call to the prayer line. Each time I listen I pray along with a prayer requests. In my 13 years listening to DAB there’s been significant testimony of prayers from DAB prayer line having positive effect for the subject of the prayers. I consider this situation to be a suitable challenge to request intervention for my fellow DAB prayer warriors. My 72-year-old mother Joan is having a second spinal operation on May the 2nd. I should like to enlist your help in praying for this to be a successful operation without complication. Father God, thank You for the magnificent abundance of this world You’ve given to us. Thank You for the amazing growth and success of Daily Audio Bible as a vehicle for spreading Your word. Thank You for encouraging the Hardin family to build the DAB prayer lines. We ask that You send the Holy Spirit to Joan and those supporting her through the days of her operation, to bring peace and healing and tranquility around her coming up to her operation. We ask that You build a hedge of protection against any efforts of the evil one surrounding Joan’s operation. We ask the medical staff be supported by the wisdom of the Holy Spirit and that You use these people as a means by which You can achieve a complete healing of Joan. We pray that the Holy Spirit and Your will facilitate complete convalescence and the outcome of the operation. I instigate this prayer on my authority as Jones Younger son and by Jesus words in Matthew 18:19, “again truly I tell You, two of You on earth agree about anything they ask for will be done for them by my Father in the heaven.” In Jesus’ holy name. Amen. While I’m here I’d like to congratulate Ben and offer best wishes to China on their wedding and say hi to all the other DABbers out there. May God bless us, everyone. Amen.
Good morning Daily Audio Bible family. This is Teresa Ray from Fort Worth Texas. I’m calling on behalf of two things, first a confession and then a prayer. My confession is that quite some time ago a gentleman called in, a quadriplegic, that was going in for surgery. He was very worried about him making it through the surgery. And I should’ve called in then, was prone to, and didn’t, and been convicted ever since. I’ve been praying for you and I’m continuing to pray for you but I would love to hear from you. So, please reach out to us and let us know that everything went well. But just know that I have been praying for you. And I’m sorry Lord for not following Your thoughts at first. So please take care of him. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. By guys. Have a blessed day.
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Present Moments
This morning our youngest had her first volleyball tournament. A couple of months ago she came home stating she wanted to try her hand at volleyball for her 7th grade team. We thought it was awesome that she showed this initiative and wanted to step out of her comfort zone a bit. She stopped gymnastics when we moved to AZ and was solely focusing on soccer since her arrival. We felt that this would be a great experience for her and a chance to break up things with soccer. It tightened her schedule a bit, but she was up for that. The team has been practicing for several weeks now and today’s tournament was their first taste of competition. I couldn’t tell you how many teams were involved, my guess would be 12-16, but her team ended up finishing in 2nd place. Considering when they started this journey at the beginning of the season, not many of them knew much about volleyball. Alaina only knew what she learned from her older sister’s experience playing last year. Needless to say, they were not seasoned 😊! Now, not knowing too much myself about volleyball I may not be the best critic, but I believe they played awesome. The skills they showed and the effort they put in was very impressive. The camaraderie and excitement they had for one another, not only when they made a point, but, when they made a mistake, picking one another up and supporting each other throughout the tournament; it was awesome to see. And, the games were incredibly competitive and exciting to watch. I was very proud of her for putting herself out there, doing something different, working her butt off for the last couple of months, and really showing her best self in all aspects, at least in my opining. That can go for all the girls on her team too. They all gelled together, and it was refreshing to see them all play as one.
All that said, and I am smiling when I write this, she was a bit pissed for taking 2nd and not winning the tournament, the first one they were ever in, after a couple of months practicing, when most had never played the game before!!! 😊!!! I love that she is competitive, and it shows that she cares, and, she wants to win. She is 12 years old and, when I was 12, hell, who am I kidding, we all want to win right? I don’t believe there is anything wrong with that, and she gets this too, but we don’t win all the time. Actually, in the grand scheme of things, we typically fail more than we succeed. I am grateful she is aware and understands this. I believe this is healthy, to a degree. If there is a “winning is the only thing” attitude, that can be disruptive and dangerous, especially in kids this age. I am all for the competition and I am all for being pissed off it you don’t win, as long as you are pissed off for the right reasons. If you feel you didn’t play your best, you made mistakes, you didn’t prepare well enough; being disappointed in your effort and, RECOGNIZING, what you need to do to change, that is healthy. Blaming the loss on your teammates, or, worse, blaming the loss on yourself, that can be toxic.
The other side of it, in my opinion, is the expectations going in. As we walked through the parking lot, after she expressed her displeasure with her 2nd place ribbon (😊 – at least she didn’t through it in the trash!!) I asked her if she had any expectations coming into it? She said no. That she had know idea how things would go, and she was excited just to play with her team. Oh, how perspectives change when you win your 1st three games and then go into the finals and lose!! 😊 – I am putting all these smile emojis in because I am smiling so much as I write this because I was the exact same way when I was her age. I did want to make sure though, that, this perceived pressure for winning was coming from and, as like most 12-year old I think, “I just thought it would be awesome to win dad.” Yeah, I get that, and it is; nothing wrong with that mindset. What also made me smile is that she had a ton of fun with her teammates and feels she connected more with them through this experience. I think going through a process like that creates a strong closeness and, still being somewhat new to the school and meeting new kids, building those bonds through team sports and competition can certainly help.
So, “in 5 years will this even matter?” – This was a quote I got from reading one of Joshua Medcalf’s books. And, when my daughter expressed herself and how she felt about the volleyball experience, I thought of this question. I didn’t ask her because, at that present moment, it very well may have been the most important thing in her mind at that time. But, will coming in 2nd place in a 7th grade volleyball tournament really matters in 5 years? Please don’t take this as me not respecting the effort and work these girls put into this and their great performance. That is not the point, and, there are definitely lessons that I believe each girl learned through this experience that will carry with them. That said, is using your energy to get pissed off a good use of energy? Again, not judging her because I got pissed off when I lost when I was 12. However, as I look back on things, those specific moments, really those specific results, didn’t matter. What mattered was what I may have learned through that moment. A conversation or a connection I had with my teammate during a meet; a conversation with a competitor, or something my coach said that helped me realize the importance of that moment. Culturally the winning and losing is what we focus no because, “everyone loves a winner.” Real quick, who one the Super Bowl 5 years ago? Too slow; you have to look it up or you have to spend some time thinking back on it unless it was your team. Five years from now, during my daughter’s senior year in high school (scary!!!), she is not going to remember the outcome of this volleyball tournament. But she may remember that conversation she had with one of her teammates, she may remember something the coach said to her, or she may remember how great it was to not have an expectation going into something she never did before. I know I spent a lot of my life worrying about outcomes, holding back fearing losing and praying to win, and I missed out on what was actually unfolding in front of me, what I was truly experiencing. I understand my 12-year-old daughter may be having those same thoughts, but, I can share with her what is important now and have her become much more aware of what matters now, and what won’t matter later.
“The meeting of two entities, the past and the future, is precisely the present moment.” – Henry David Thoreau
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Class category chap.19
I refuse to acknowledge Danielle as older then 8. Canon might say she is supposed to be 12-13 but visually for me she look not anything older then at the highest 10, and then it is a stretch.
Chapter 19
It was here, the first day on the count down. Day five since Danny was moved into Clockwork’s care, five day since he fell into a coma. And the first thing on Nocturnes list on things to do where to go over there.
His flight through the zone were for the most part uneventful aside form the short detoured to Walker’s prison to both give and get updates. Greeting and bidding good bye to some few that he meet before leaving again. Once at the tower the dream ghost did not bother to knock as the doors opened on their own as usual and closed after him as he passed.
Making his way down the halls he decides to go straight for the boy’s room. The master of time can find him there when he feels to do so, no reason to pretend that he don’t already know he’s here already. To his surprise thought so meet he with the other ghost in the hallway two corridors down from the child’s room.
The time master was coming out from a room with there were no light coming out from or any sound, the short look Nocturne got into the room before the time master closed the door were darkness companied by silent.
Putting his head slightly to the side he study his friend as he turns towards him. A raised brow became his answer. “I have seen you exiting that room quite a few times now, and that is only since the night before yesterday. Yet I don’t recall you even using that room before.”
The lift brow got the other as company. “You mean I can’t use the rooms in my own home as I please?”
“That is not what I meant,” Nocturne frowned. “But you knew that already. May I ask what have your interest with that room?”
“Does that matter to you?”
“Hmm, I would dare say that depends.” Now it is Nocturne who rose a brow, “If it is something in style of a hobby of yours or in line of your feeding, then no, I do not have any peculiar interest. But if it is something that is of a concern for the child,” the skeptical look melted away as a gentle smile took it place, “or for yourself then yes, it is of my concern if you would so let me. I consider you are friend after all.”
Silence stretched out between them and for a moment Nocturne started to believe that there would be no response to his offer. A low chuckle broke out from the shorter ghost where he hovered in the hall. The chuckle ebbed out as he shook his head.
“Than I guess it could matter for you but not in a way you or anyone could imagine. I’m currently working on something that will change a few more things in my tower but in the end if they go as I plan them to, then things will be easier in the long run.”
The dream ghost listened and got a little disappointed when the other then turned around and started down the hall. “What changes?”
A humming is his answer. “Clockwork.”
“In time.”
Nocturne reminded himself not to strangle the master of time as he settled for the vague promise the he would be told about what was going on, later. They were quiet as they entered the sleeping child’s room, Clockwork raising the lights some while Nocturne moved over to beside the bed.
Again like all the other times he started to fuss over the child, fluffing pillows, tugging the comforter, and petting both the child and the puppy who was liking his hand. All the while cooing and humming toneless melodies.
There were no response.
Not showing his worry or distress the dream ghost continued as he always did on his visit, speaking with his friend as the time ghost too fussed with the child, a soft touch with a little energy to chase away any nightmares that may be there deep under the feeling of nothing, quietly watching as Clockwork periodically did silent work in the room or for short moments left it.
All day went and the child slept, his puppy either sleeping beside him or nuzzling both him and the plush Nocturne gave him the first visit.
Nocturne did not want to leave that night but did so with the promise to be back early in the morning.
That night in the ghost zone were quiet as the report spread in the zone, no change in the child.
Next day started as a repeat of the one before, a short report to the warden, a few greetings and then off to the clock tower.
It is quiet in the tower as he enters and again so meets he Clockwork as he exits that dark silent room. “Going to tell me what’s in there?”
“In time, hopefully.”
That last word was told in a whisper and Nocturne is not all to sure that he were meant to hear it, so he restrained to comment as they both moved down the hall.
Nocturne move through the motion as he had done the day before with the child, fussing, tugging, petting, while humming or singing softly. All the while swallowing down his worry at the lack of response. It would be fine, everything would be fine. Danny had proven over and over again in the past how strong he could be. He would wake up. It is fine.
Clockwork left the room a little more then he had done the day before, Nocturne getting the a snack for Cujo at one point saw his friend yet again leaving the dark room. He did not pressure his friend about the room.
When evening settled in Nocturne did not want to leave, the child would wake up soon, he were certain. Nothing said it had to be in the day time and he would be damned if the child woke up alone after all that happen and been done to him.
“I’m not leaving.”
“Understood. There is a guest room two doors down from Daniel’s, you can stay there. Just remember to pay Walker a visit before night.”
Thankful that he got clear to stay the night Nocturne went over for a short while that night to the prison to give his report. Ignoring the worried glances and looks given his way both as he came and as he left. Everything would be fine once the child woke up.
As he enters the tower again he comes face to face with a small child. And for a moment he thought it to be Danny in human form being up and about. But no, on a second glance he could tell that while this child looked eerily similar to the sleeping one there are some stark differences. The first one being that this one clearly is a girl and secondly looks to be somewhere around maybe 7 or 8 year of age.
The small girl is starring up at him and Nocturne is not completely sure what is going on. Carefully as not to startle her he kneels down before her as he addresses her. “ Hello, child. Who might you be?”
She fidgets as she plays with the cuff of her hoodie, before hiding her hands in its pocket. “I’m Dani, with an I” she held up on finger on the ‘I’ before hiding her hand again. “Soo- who are you mister?”
“I’m Nocturne, the ghost of dreams. It’s nice to meet you Dani. You wouldn’t happen to know where the ghost who lives here currently is do you?”
“Oh, you mean minster in clock? He is over there.” She said as she pointed to the doorway leading down to the observatory. “He said he would be back soon and then we can go see my cousin.” She look sad at the mentioning of her relative but she bounced back as she smiled up at the tall star ghost. “Hey let’s go find ‘im.”
And taking the taller ghost’s hand in her own she tugged him after her as they went down the hallway and into the observatory where they indeed found the tower’s owner. Looking over a variation of clocks with moving images. The little girl bunched over to him, a tug at his cloak made him look down.
Upon seeing the small girl he smiled and bend down to pick her up. She soon nuzzled into his chest as she griped fist full of his cloak to keep balance.
Nocturne stood by the entrance as he watch this. Confused he glided over to his friend that seemed to just be done with his work, for the moment at least. The grin he got as the clock wearing ghost saw him spelled mischief and something content. The dream ghost is a bit unnerved by it, it can never be good when the one who controls time looks like that.
“Hello Nocturne. You visit to the warden went well I presume?”
“As if you need to ask.” The dream ghost glanced over to the small child in his friend’s hold. He wanted to ask about her, who she is and where she comes from. But most of all why she looks so much like Danny. As if sensing his thoughts the time ghost smiled gently as he introduced the small child.
“This here is Danielle, more known as Dani with an I,” he added at the protesting huff from the girl who got content at the correction before nuzzling back again. “Her life is quite unique as she have traveled for the most part of it. I found her as she was about to be a stowaway at a ship to England actually.” He patted her on the head at this and smiled. “She is alone and since few knew about her and no one were about to adopt her I decided she can be living here as a part of a family.”
The word surprised came to mind as Nocturne kept on staring at his friend as he started down the halls on his way to the other child in the tower. Suddenly the time ghost stop and look over his shoulder, he is smirking. “Oh, nd before I forget to mention it. She happens to also be Daniel’s cousin.”
“What?”
But Clockwork gave no answer as he kept on walking, humming a happy melody together with the child. Flustered Nocturne followed.
“No one have said a word that Danny has other relatives, at least no one his age, or younger. And what do you mean she have been on her own? Clockwork. Is this what you meant before about changes in your tower?”
“Some of them yes, half, there is one more change but that is not a guarantee if it will or will not happen. I hope it will.” Once more did he end a comment in a whisper and this time Nocturne will comment on it, later.
They reached Danny’s room and upon entering it Dani jumped down from Clockwork’s hold and run over to her cousin’s side. She stood there for some time, just looking over the other. Before she carefully lay a hand on his shoulder.
“Hi cuz… That guy over there told me you aren’t feeling to well. He said some other things to that I don’t really know what he means and it all sounds like riddles. It’s kind of funny and annoying at the same time. And, and he said that you will live here now, and h-he said I can live here to. So we can be siblings now. B-but you will wake up first right? He said th-that you maybe won’t but that’s a lie because I k-know you and you don’t leave other like that. A-and I’m here now so you have to wake up now. O-okay?”
Dani tried to smile the whole time she spoke with her cousin/maybe brother but she started to cry and most of the things she said sounded garbled to near none understandable.
Seeing the distress of the smaller child Nocturne went over to her and her cousin and picked her up. At first she protested but settled down soon enough as he rocked her and hummed. So Clockwork’s family grew with one more member that night Nocturne thought for himself as he later lay the girl to rest in her own room right next to the boy’s. It had mixed theme of a night sky at the ceiling and a willow in the night covering the rest of the room.
As Nocturne was about to turn in for the night as well he saw Clockwork on his way towards the hallway where the dark room is. Thinking that now is as good a time as any to talk to the time master about any other changes he followed.
When he went down the hallway the door to the dark room stood open, taking this as a sort of invite he went inside. The door closed after him and it wasn’t long there after that the silence in the room was broken.
“AAAAAGRRRRAAAA.”
The scream was haunting as it sounded against the walls in the room, willed with anguish and sorrow. Startled he tries to find the source of this scream. It did not take long to find the only other person in the room.
Confusion ensured as the dream ghost could clearly see that it is not his friend who is screaming his out his innards. But there is no other in the room who could be doing it either. Unsure what else to do he moves over to Clockwork who looks back at him.
“I could use your assistance for this.”
That is when he saw the thermos and the source for the scream that took a small pause as is desperate for breath before starting up again.
“What is going on?” he had to be speaking in near yelling to be heard. “Who’s in there?”
“Someone who’s class is currently undergoing a change. Or his sub-class is, to be precis.”
“WHAT?”
“I need to take him out of the thermos but he would be trashing to badly for it to be safe. I need you to make him sleep as I release him.”
Sometimes he really hate how this time-y bastard can’t give useful information before hand. “One of these day’s I will have telling me in advance about things like these.” Yet he did not protest as he made himself ready.
Clockwork gave him a thankful smile. “Good luck with that.”
It became a rather long night for the two adult ghosts as they did their best in helping to sooth the hurting specter now stuck in a time and sleep mixed suspension bubble.
“Hi there, I’m Dani with an I. Who are you?”
The blue skinned specter with red eyes and white fire-y hair looked down on the small girl intrigued. “I’m Dark but mostly I’m called Dan. When did you show up pipsqueak?”
“Be nice Dan.”
Huffing the dark Phantom glanced at his new benefactor before looking back at the small girl. Who have shifted into her ghost form and was now truing to grip hold of tufts of his hair. Curious over the girls curiosity he simply let her do as she wish. Surprised as she unprovoked started to answer his question as is Clockwork had never interrupted.
“I was on my way to somewhere new when he over there with the purple tablecloth showed up. He said that Danny was sick and is going to live here now, then he asked if I wanted to stay here too. And so I’m here.” She is now using both her hands to try to ‘trap’ his flames by clapping them down on them. “Why are you here mister? Are you also going to stay?”
Dan is silent for a moment before speaking. “Yeah, I’m going to live here too. And I am given a chance, my first one.” He smiled even as he saw the confusion in the small child, who in the end latched on to the first part of his answer and smiled back.
“Hah, then that’s great. You can be like our big brother when Danny wakes up.”
Her smile is big and infectious as he smiles back, even if his smile is a bit more hesitant and wavy as if unused to friendly smiling. Nocturne is happy that everything seems to turning out for the better for this small family, even if he has concerns about Clockwork’s subtle comments that Danny might have a bit of difficulty in accepting Dan at first.
It’s fine as long as he wakes up it is fine.
The seventh day started of really good, they all four had breakfast together even if the oldest child, technically adult, tried to skip. Promptly being caught and hauled back to the table by one mister Nocturne and this under the quiet snickers of the oldest amongst them. Dan got placated some thought when the dream ghost lectured the time ghost as well when he tried to leave the table to early. For the most part so played Dan together with Dani, both periodically visiting the sleeping child. Or Dani did, Dan never went in farther then the doorway.
Nocturne and Clockwork spend a lot of the day inside the room with Danny, trying what they could to coax the boy into waking. Everything seemed fine, aside from the child still not showing signs of waking up, he at the very least seemed stable. By evening time Nocturne manage to convince the other two children to spend time together with him in Danny’s room as he would read them all fairy tales. Dan tried to deny that he enjoyed the story time as much as Dani did even when he clearly listened as closely as she did.
It was being a good day.
Then came night again and it is the seventh day. And Danny started to spasm as he choke on air.
Dani cried in fear and panic and Dan picked her up to move her away from Danny. Clockwork was there within a second as he and Nocturne tried to hold Danny down so he wouldn’t come to harm as they all called for him to wake up. He couldn’t hear them.
#Danny Phantom#danny#nocturne#clockwork#dp clockwork#dan phantom#dani phantom#fanfiction#class category
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DreamCloud Hybrid Mattress Review
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The post DreamCloud Hybrid Mattress Review appeared first on Memory Foam Doctor.
Source: https://www.memoryfoamdoctor.com/dreamcloud-hybrid-mattress-review/
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August 09, 2019
My head is throbbing. I think its from getting too much sleep. First time I’ve slept in in a while. These affordances to sleep in are few, but I appreciate every single chance I get. I think there are going to be a lot more now since I’m on summer break :D I shall enjoy all this leisure time, and use it wisely. It’s been raining this whole week and it feels very cozy. Im super cozy rn. Im just sitting in my couch, coffee and phone on one side, listening to the sound of rain falling down the surface of the building. Gloomy cities really make good combos. I can’t quite explain it but the gloom resembles my mood, and it paints the city in such a dramatic light. Lonely cities. It fits it well, because cities while vibrant and full of life can also be so lonely. Filled with lonely souls. And so the rain is a fitting component. I love living in the city. My affinity for cities, and the culture that exists, and the life that exists and just how individuality is encouraged and praised, that’s what I love about cities. Where people are free to express themselves, everyone’s open minded. I thrive in these environments. I love living in Manila. I’ve written about this city quite a few times. And you know considering I’ve got a year, or maybe even less, I want to create something that will capture how I feel about this beautiful city filled with such a mash of different souls. Perhaps a zine? Or a photo series? A personal project. It’s definitely something I’m going to think about. Ive been meaning to get back in photography just because its such a lovely medium, and I love looking back at memories. The sentimentalist in me can’t resist. I’d really love to get better at it. And I think its time I fulfill one of the goals I listed at the start of the year which was to engage in photography assignments. Just for myself. I think I will do just that. I always think to myself, I’ll start when I get a new camera, a less bulkier contraption, but honestly I think the best time to start is now. Because by the time I get a new camera, ill probably think the same thing. Oh, ill just wait till i get this certain lens or something like that. You’ll never be ready. You just have to throw yourself out there. That’s something I’ve been learning a lot through the daily stoic. In fact, I really resonate with the readings. The universe has a weird way of letting everything fall into place. Just how fitting it is in my life. Man, I love this. My thoughts feel so substantial. Usually when I engage in Morning Pages, there are times when you can tell I’m just really trying to fill the 750 word part. Like I’m not even thinking. And that’s just when my brain is riddled with anxiety. When I have a long day to go and I can’t be bothered by writing down 750 words. But this right here, is nice. Ofcourse I have things on my plate, quite a lot actually since I’ve pretty much been neglecting all my tasks since I started on that MSMEDIA essay. Today is the first day I can see clarity again. August, I’ve been rushing you because its been hectic, and I’m sorry for that. But now its time to hit the restart button and start a new again. I think these things are necessary. In fact, I accept that every once in a while we’ll need imaginary restarts. They can do wonders on our productivity and focus, and how we work. So here’s to restarting. Refocusing. Recalibrating. Time to drop everything and just focus on yourself is so necessary, and I do believe it makes you grind a lot harder. Yeah. Here’s to finishing 2019 hard. Here’s to getting out of my comfort zone.
Also on a side note, I really have been seriously thinking about learning poetry. I’m intrigued by the form, how people can put together words like that. It’s basically painting images with your words, and I want to be able to do that. I’m definitely opening to taking up a poetry workshop sometime in the future or engaging in any online courses. Cause like poetry has never really been something I’ve appreciated. Like I always tended to avoid it because I never particularly liked the form. I never knew how to appreciate it. And so I want to try delving into it. I just want to see if its for me. And maybe, just maybe it’ll help me articulate my feelings in a better way. Who knows? I don’t know. I think I’ve pretty much mastered the art of nonfiction writing. I want to try poetry now. And maybe after, creative writing. I just love words. Im mesmerized by them. How they can paint beautiful photos and articulate feelings so spot on. I have such an affinity for words and prose that you can connect to.
Ugh im feeling all churny inside. I’m so happy I have outlets to express myself. Through my words and photos. Life is so beautiful, and I just want to try and capture it you know. So yeah those are my thoughts lang. Alsoooo I’m trying to give up vaping. Like I literally gave my vape to Kristine yesterday and I told her to hide it lol. It’s just so bad, and its become a bad habit. Like I feel horrible whenever I smoke it, and yet I keep doing it and I think its mainly because of the fact that it’s there, so I just gravitate nd pull towards it But yesterday, Erica sent a photo and I was just like nope. It’s funny because I didn’t even think. Like I just threw it away lol. Fuck that, life is more precious than that nicotine rush. Life is too precious. Here’s to living. It’s amazing how life is so amazing on good days. I wish I could come back to this feeling whenever I have bad days, and don’t feel motivated or feel the need to continue going you know. I wish I could always come back to this feeling.
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