#but some of them are TERRIFYING (in a funny)

[seat-safety-switch]

Once, we were on a roadtrip. On that roadtrip, we stayed at a hostel. That hostel, despite its other negative attributes, sported a couple of goats. Here's the thing that you should know about goats: they'll stand on your hood.

Now, I'm not one of those people who frets about every single rock chip. In fact, just before I had settled down for that fateful night, I had taken the Celica blasting down a gravel road at a great (and surely legally compliant) rate of speed. I had to get to breakfast, though, and I firmly believe that in the great pantheon of nature, "I want to eat some eggs" overrules the goat's right to survey his(?) kingdom by standing on my hood. So I told him to leave.

Funny fact about goats: they do not understand English. Or, they do, and they just don't comply with anything you tell them. I tried a few other languages, and then threw in some profanity when that didn't work. Nothing doing. The goat stayed on my hood. Stuck, I decided to do what I always do to end a conversation: get in the car, and rev the engine a couple times while making annoyed gestures at my passengers, who were all standing well away from the goat, terrified/impressed by the majesty of nature inherent in it. Breakfast, motherfuckers, I shouted. Let's go.

Banging that humble 5SFE off the limiter, even cold, did not dislodge the goat. The goat, in fact, just stayed there, happy to ignore the frantically-revving cough drop under their hooves. Finally, I gave up, and killed the engine. As a group, we decided it would be best to just let the goat leave on his own, rather than risk any harm by trying to drive away. We went inside and hungrily played cards for awhile, pausing only to take furtive glances out the window in case the goat had left.

An hour later, we came out, and the goat had left. Now there was a cat on my hood, a nice orange tabby. It was much easier to get rid of the cat. All I had to do there was attempt to lure him inside the car so I could have a free cat. Took off like a shot.

If there is a moral to the story, it's that you should always do a roadtrip with more than one car, so you can still get breakfast when there's a goat on your hood. You might think this advice is useless now, but just wait until it happens to you.

[nezz-cringe-crib]

GUYS READ @bazpango's HOCKEY AU GUYS YOU HAVE TO.

closeups + references followed by rambling pfftt:

i know absolutely nothing about hockey. however i have a singular friend who's had a huge hyperfixation on the sport. friend and i rarely have any common interests so we're both very terrified/ecstatic over the fact that we now both share this singular hyperfixation. every time i don't understand the hockey lingo in this fic i just spam her about it and it's wonderful for both of us.

also really funny because i showed her the paragraph about the Killers going on to play against Vancouver, where i was then informed that the vancouver canucks are her favorite team. i've got zero clue what any of these teams are however she provided me with a clip montage of some her favorite players and it gave me free range to screenshot my favorite clips and redraw them so i'm certainly not complaining.

real hockey autism 🤝 yaoi hockey autism. everybody wins. here's the refs now:

[k1ng-ej]

BET?!? Okay then next request, my boys Steve and Billy (separate) with a preferably fem s/o that’s usually a huge coward, like can’t handle bugs, heights or dogs, but anytime they deal with demogorgons or demodogs, they’re the first to jump into action, pretty please and thank you

Fearless

Billy Hargrove & Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Note: Scheduled post. By the time this posts i’ll be taking a brief break from requests, but fear not as they shall return soon!

Steve

Steve loved protecting you from innocent little bugs that happened to get in the way of your daily life, it was a boost to his ego and he felt good about protecting you, even if was from just a tiny little thing. There's been several instances where you would be staying over at his house, and he would hear a shreek come from the bathroom. When he rushes in, he finds you in the farthest corner, terrified out of your mind. He will chuckle a little when you point to the tiniest spider that's sat on the sink, when you tell him it's not funny and get angry, he will immediately straighten up, remove the spider and comfort you.

With this in mind, it's safe to say he is absolutely stunned when you take his bat and start defending the group from some demodogs. You're terrified of almost everything, like harmless bugs, heights and large bodies of water, even regular dogs, but when it came down to demogorgons or demodogs, you were one of the first people to jump into action.

He didn't know you could even possess strength like that. The pure determination and focus on your face as you're skillfully swinging his bat at these monsters is enough to make him stare in awe. Boy did he find it so attractive. Nancy had to give him a hard punch to his arm to get his head back in the game, but he would be replaying this moment in his head for months after.

He would walk up to you after all the chaos has ended, rub away some dirt that was on your face, and question when you got so fearless.

"Me? Fearless? You must be talking to the wrong person." You laugh, handing his bat back to him and patting his shoulder as you walked by him. Steve doesn't know what to think, and when you go back to your usual self, calling for his help when you find yourself cornered by the smallest stray dog, he is left dumbfounded.

Every time, he will be surprised, but everytime you somehow become more attractive to him. There were a couple of times when he purposefully put himself into danger so you could save him, he trusted you enough, best believe he was swooping you up and kissing you passionately.

Billy

Billy would always tease you about your irrational fears, sometimes he would grab you cricket and start waving it in your face, cackling when you start screaming and running away from him. He didn't mind protecting you from these horrifying bugs, dogs, or anything else you were afraid of, if anything he quite enjoyed it, mostly because he got to tease you for it.

You could recall a time when you were on a peaceful date with him, seated comfortably in the outside area of a restaurant. A stray dog had approached, and while Billy encouraged it to come over, you wanted to be as far away from this dog as possible. Nothing happened for you to be so afraid of dogs, you just were.

Billy wanted you to step out of your comfort zone, urging you to give the dog the scraps of your meal. You did, but that was the first and last time you would be interacting with them, being too shaken up afterwards to even think of stepping out of your comfort zone again.

So, when you and Billy were with the rest of the group, figuring out an ongoing mystery and then were suddenly attacked by two demogorgons, his immediate instinct was to shield you behind him and protect you. Much to his surprise, you grabbed a nearby plank and positioned yourself at the front of the group, ready to fight off these monsters. At first, he yelled for you to get back, afraid that you were being reckless and would get hurt.

He was speechless upon watching you fight the demogorgon with such bravery, part of him was still scared that you were going to get hurt, but after several seconds of watching you fight, he was sure that you had it all handled.

Of course, after the demogorgons were defeated, he pulled you aside and gently scolded you, telling you not to do that again and that you put yourself in a dangerous position. You defended yourself, but Billy quickly reminded you that you were afraid of cute dogs and harmless crickets, which made you blush in embarrassment.

"Well I handled it, didn't I?"

"You did, but you won't ever be doing that again." Billy chuckled as his hands found their place on your hips, pulling you against him as he placed a quick kiss to your lips before resting his chin atop your head.

[bweeeb]

SHE

Summary: When Mattheo and Theodore really fill you up for the first time they guarantee that you will never get hurt.

warnings: English is not my first language. It's very short, nothing special. Maybe a start to something if you want.

Maybe you were the problem.You definitely weren’t the problem.But what if you were?For an entire month, you hadn’t dared to lower your head, but every time you entered your dormitory or prepared to step into a crowded room, the air emptied from your chest.You felt like you were walking in circles—this was supposed to be a better year. By the Gods, every time your parents asked in letters about new friends and school activities, you bit your cheek so hard that you tasted blood, just to gather the courage to lie to them.You had left Ilvermorny because of the exclusion the girls always subjected you to. Your only friend had been transferred, leaving you alone with the terrifying feeling of never having a moment of peace in that place.Hogwarts was supposed to be a good school, a place where you could make new friends and have fewer blackmailers around. And yet, two months later, there you were, your books thrown to the ground along with a frog conjured by one of the Slytherins.— Hahaha, wow, thanks, that was really funny. You muttered with no emotion in your voice as you knelt down, using one of your books to swat away the slimy frog and gather the rest of your things.

— Are you complaining, you freak? I could shut that little mouth of yours right in the position you're in. One of them said, stepping closer and gripping your hair tightly, making your eyes water from the pain.

— She’s not even that ugly. I think I could actually get hard looking at her like this.Another one of them said, laughing along with the others.

— Fuck off, stop touching me.

You growled, feeling the tears spill involuntarily down your cheeks.— I can’t believe you’re a Slytherin—you’re a disgrace, that’s what you are.

Voices in the corridor started echoing closer.

— Hey, what the fuck is going on here?The Italian accent gave away Theodore Nott from his very first word.

— Just stay out of this, man.Another voice, and it was obvious that Mattheo Riddle was the one with the rough, uninterested tone.

— Dude, she’s crying.Your whimpers were loud

—there was no way to deny it.

— Some cry, some scream with joy, I don’t decide that.Mattheo said, rolling his eyes.

— Come on, Mattheo, stop being an asshole.

— Shit. Hey, girl, are you okay?Mattheo stepped into the corridor and saw the malicious faces of the three Slytherin boys. But if it had been just any guys, Mattheo might not have immediately known something was wrong. But with that trio, something was always wrong.

— Fuck.

Riddle muttered, approaching with Theodore at his side in long strides. — You idiots, let her go.

— Stay out of this, Nott.

— So that means I can punch you, then.Before even getting a response, Mattheo punched the guy holding you hard, knocking him to the ground.

— What were you planning, huh?Nott asked, threatening the other two boys, who started shaking their heads while Mattheo kept hitting the one on the floor.

— N-nothing.

— W-we swear, w-we don’t want a-anything to do with that bitch.

As soon as those words left one of their mouths, Theo clicked his tongue against his teeth and punched the guy in the face, giving enough time for the other one to run away.

— Don’t. Talk. About. Her. Like. That.

He said, pausing between words as he increased the force of his punches.

— You and your friends better not even look in her direction, do you understand me?Theo heard Mattheo say to the other guy, gripping the bloodied collar of his shirt. As soon as the two ran off, battered and bruised, both boys turned their gaze to you—fragile, wide-eyed, clutching your books tightly.

— Thank you. You whispered, embarrassed, and quickly got up from the floor, wanting to get away from there as fast as possible. Then, you disappeared down the corridor, still under the watchful eyes of a very intrigued Theo and Mattheo.

— Dude, how many times do you think this happens?

— I’ve seen her around once. Should’ve paid more attention. She’s cute.

— No one fucking touches her.

— Not anymore.

[arkin-oconnell]

Admin felt like he had a valid reason for being scared of becoming something bad in his child’s life. His own father had a history of screwing up other marriages cause he couldn’t keep it in his pants and his mom well she had a very violent streak that he knew was terrifying. He didn’t want to be either of them and he hoped he never would be. “ I think I’m constantly worried now. I never used to be, but I think it’s cause I never had anything to lose. Now it’s like I have this whole little universe in my life that I have to make sure is safe.

“ isn’t that the fear though? That we turn out like our parents? I feel like that’s all of us in some level” he admitted before glancing back and giving Lia a smile. “ I think I’d do anything to not be him “

“ it’s a fucking nightmare “ Arkin laughed. It wasn’t that he found it funny, well he did but in that sort of way where he couldn’t believe that he hated the night so much now. He was so restless and couldn’t handle sleeping unless he was next to Sterling. But he had new coping mechanisms and he was prepared. He was gonna make sure Sterling would get a good nights sleep no matter what when the baby arrived and his restless energy would be put to good use. “ I’m lucky to have her. Think this whole thing sort of saved me from relapsing. “ cause there were already several moments where the urge had come back. “ honestly I appreciate that. Wanna be added to the list of people ready to spoil him ?” @cavenshh

Lia leaned against the table, her eyes steady on Arkin as he spoke. “You’re doing better than you give yourself credit for,” she said with a small smile. “The fact that you’re even this worried about getting it right shows how much you care. That’s already miles ahead of what you’re afraid of becoming.”

She tilted her head, her tone lightening. “And for the record, you’re not your dad. You’ve proven that just by showing up and sticking with it. Sterling sees that, even if you don’t always feel it.”

When Arkin mentioned the nights, Lia let out a soft laugh. “They’re the worst, aren’t they? But it sounds like you’re handling them better than you think. Turning all that restless energy into something good? That’s impressive, even if you don’t realize it yet.” She straightened up, her expression softening. “Sterling’s lucky to have you. And don’t forget, you’ve got people in your corner if you need them. Including me.”

@arkin-oconnell

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.

[tropicalcontinental]

Human fear is the window to the soul or whatever ://

[waitineedaname]

mxtx characters who, in my humble butch opinion, should be butch

Luo Binghe: listen. look me in the eyes. in a genderswap situation, Binghe should get to be butch. one of the key themes in SVSSS is gender, and one of the things that distinguishes SVSSS!Binghe from PIDW!Binghe is that he's not the hypermasculine protagonist and instead is allowed to enjoy more feminine things (like being Shizun's housewife). that's why he's specifically called Bing-mei and it's also why im on my transfemme Binghe soapbox all the time, but that's a whole other topic. what im saying is if we're reversing the gender situation, then fem!Binghe in SVSSS should get to enjoy more masculine things. it's what she deserves. she strikes me as the kind of butch that gets a thrill out of doing gentlemanly things like giving SQQ her coat when she's cold. she should be the Bing-di to PIDW's Bing-jie

Shang Qinghua: this one is deeply self-indulgent projection but don't fucking worry about that okay. SQH is a very specific flavor of low effort butch nerd. SQH is the cookie monster pajamas to butch pipeline. SQH cuts her own hair with regular scissors for convenience and Shen Yuan is dying to get her to just buy some goddamn clippers. SQH is running off of four red bulls and spite. She inexplicably has game and she's just as confused about this as you are

Xie Lian: imagine this for me. you go to one of those volunteering events where you're cleaning trash out of a creek or something. there is a woman there in cargo pants or maybe overalls, something with a shit ton of pockets. she has not shaved in months, maybe years. her hair is in the messiest bun possible, or maybe tied back under a baseball cap. she is somehow the most beautiful woman you've ever seen. after taking away all the trash and informing everyone how to sort the recycling, she is picked up by another woman who appears to be the definition of high camp. you leave this encounter feeling like you might have been converted to something. perhaps to lesbianism. this is what an encounter with butch Xie Lian is like.

[ra-vio]

this blog is 11 years old now 🎉

I drew the siblings ever to celebrate as usual

[r0semultiverse]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS 119 SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT

[togethernow]

Highly recommend listening to all the punch out themes on 2x speed

👍

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[tittyinfinity]

contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk

[idontknowijuststartedsomething]

Low key this was probably my favorite part of the episode

[thesmokinpossum]

Me when Luca Brasi is on screen in the movie: While this man is clearly primarily defined by his capacity for violent aggression and murder, one cannot help but feel sympathy for someone whose personal life is so minimal and unsatifsfying that being invited to a wedding would feel like such a significant occasion..

Me reading about Luca Brasi in the book:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

More MDZS and Hollow Knight! The cool bugs I found in my backyard have started to unionize.

Part 1 - Part 3