#but some incredibly cool stuff too!!
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See the bright side of finishing my book is that it's done! I can move forward with the series!! So cool!!
The not so bright side is that I've officially moved into the part where I don't know anything about what I'm doing
#i.e. the self publishing process#like. how do i pick a cover artist? how do i format all that stuff?#how do i put all this together and how do i know if it's done and just. AUGH#there's a lot of scary stuff coming up#but some incredibly cool stuff too!!#hazel rambles about her original writing
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Hatchetfield @femslashfortnight Day 2: Retro
#would you look at that- it’s another hfff drawing#incredible#some Hollowebby for the soul#I just really think they’re neat yknow#This isn't one of my favorite drawings but hey thats alright#that's cool#they can't all be bangers but for what it's worth it isn't horrible#anyways yeah#now i'm going to go work on Art Fight stuff#very exciting#I don't know how much I'm going to be able to do for it but I guess we'll find out#so much drawing this summer#it's crazy i've been out of school for two weeks and i've drawn like 10 things already#these hands cant stop wont stop#Anyways I love the idea of them skating#I'm a roller blader myself but the skates are cute#did some fun textures and reflections in this one too#I love roller blading tho#wish I could do it more often#fun fact: despite it's portrayal in minecraft- obsidian ranks at a 5-6 on the mohs hardness scale- being the same hardness as opal or glass#idk that's what i came up with for todays fact- i feel like most people know that one but idk#hatchetfield femslash fortnight#hollowebby#miss holloway#webby#hatchetfield#nightmare time#starkid#team starkid#kim whalen
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oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)
she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.
despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.
note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]
originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.
this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.
BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).
later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.
years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)
#i overdeveloped this part of the background. IT'S QUITE LITERALLY USELESS. like. Vegoia will have so few memories of it (she'll become jedi)#i will make a post about her too when I'll finish designing her and outlining her story BUT that may be difficult cuz the frame for the mai#story is quite difficult to match with how developed the other stories are getting and i have to figure it Much Stuff yet#so I'm using these post to like. fix a certain part lf the lore because even my own notes are getting older and messy. better to start over#ANYWAY for those curious & who are still reading (if u exist. WTF THANK U!!); my main story is actually a research file in the jedi archive#BASICALLY i was trying to write my own story for years but then i watched a video (tcw doesn't hold up by sheev talks i think) and i finall#understood how to frame all of these stories together in a way that i feel can add to the star wars lore (because. the others were just#like. okay but who cares unless me? and i did want to have a cool frame that maybe some nerd would be interested in looking into)#so: when ahsoka anakin and obi return from mortis; they tell the council about it (yoda knows about it in s6). sheev talks complained that#it was incredibly full of stuff that was done so poorly it could ruin a big part of the original sw story itself and it was never brought u#again. and honestly i agree. SO my story is about a jedi that is tasked with research on the celestials & by having him figure out stuff i#can minimize/limit/reframe some of the controversial things in there (i love mortis arc so bad but i also agree with his critic. I'll Fix™)#so. many stories will be about people who have previously seen the celestials or have been to mortis one way or another (pre-tcw obv) & hav#had experience & knowledge that the researcher is looking for. so i get to have an anthology with many stories#and have a cool frame I'm intrested in developing + i can experiment with different storytelling styles depending on how he finds out stuff#+ there was another sw story with a similar frame i think? so if i decide to write the story as if it was the file itself and not the searc#i can have even a REFERENCE of what a file like that is supposed to be. LIKE. IT ALL FITS!!!#sw#star wars#swtor#the old republic#star wars oc#imperial agent#star wars fanart#mirialan oc#mirialan#star wars story#star wars the old republic#oc: suri sauthon
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"what are you" a cognitohazard. a co- do i really have to explain the SCP foundation to u rn. on tumblr dot com be so fr.
#i'm a binary trans man but i realised this was probably too niche for the instagram comments section#but i feel like an adventurer who just discovered a new species rn so i had to document it#u didn't hear? yeah they actually make u post it to tumblr dot com whenever u discover a new response to “what are you”#slash “what's in ur pants” slash “what's your gender” slash etc etc etc#idk if the term cognitoharzard exist outside SCP i feel like it might but that's where i know it from so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i also disclaimer don't know much about SCP stuff. i listened to readings of heaps of stories for like a few months#shoutout SCP Archives ily#it's funny SCP actually reminds me a lot of The Magnus Archives#some of them were just so incredibly the flesh. or the spiral or the desolation or the extinction etc etc etc it was really cool#i gotta start listening to them again#just maybe during the day this time lmao#scp foundation#scp shitposting
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He’s red and he’s white and he’s green and he’s grey / My bonny young dragon, come hither away...
Keith Windham and Nuntius, out of Luzula's stunning Flight of the Heron/Temeraire crossover fic 'The Flight of Dragons.'
#em draws stuff#em is posting about temeraire#temeraire#the flight of the heron#keith windham#temeraire worldbuilding collection#PART ONE of the current massive I Need To Illustrate Other People's Tem Crossover Fic project!#luzula's fic is a really cool exploration of eighteenth century temverse britain and explores a lot of things that I too wished to know#about the history and variation of dragon-human partnership even within the british isles!!#really I think that this fic can and should be read by temeraire enjoyers even if they haven't read foth#(but also. if you read this and then want to read foth about this. More power to you &c &c)#other important thing to note here is how much nuntius's design owes to both the incredible tem fanart cataloguing being done by#esteemed tumblr user travellingdragon!! and their own design for greylings!!#...it was so weird to draw keith in a 1740s approximation of aviator uniform. he looks like just some guy now :]#also. caption lyrics are a modified version of real folk song 'my bonny moorhen' because I think I'm v funny and clever
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Look, I just think it's VERY funny and on brand that I thought of an entire premise of colorful characters for half the cast and immediately drew the only one void of color.
#my characters#i will not bore you all too much in the main post but now its story time in the tags so yeefuckinghaw#noll is a fae and is distinctly the only one that just lacks colors#at first he was like well surely i can wear colorful stuff to make up for my dark hair and eyes !#and then he overhears some of the fae talking about how hes a blemish to the fae and hes like well fuck#guess its time to go all in baby! and decks himself out in all black and jagged clothing#and he tries to play it off as hes an idiot and a lot of the fae actually believe its not ALL an act#like they can tell he thinks about stuff but he normally does it staring into space so they dont care to ask#cause surely it isnt important enough to brood about hes just thinking about stuff#and he really REALLY has a lot of confidence issues and worries that more fae are disturbed by his darkness than let on#but then the other fae that like to hang out with him are like#YOOOOOO THATS OUR LIL VOID! THATS OUR LIL GUY! our lil black spot look at him hes so edgy and cute!#and treat him like a pet cat at times giving him head pats even if he bats their hands away#and the plot premise is that some of the fae are bored and decide they should go play with some humans! give THEM enrichment too!#and noll gets roped into it and The Game is basically go find a human partner and convince them to be an ally#then the fae give the humans cool lil toys (weapons) and are like GO FORTH MY CHAMPION!#so noll keeps like ... not picking anyone to participate because its not just A Game to him#if he can prove victorious in A Game with outside factors such as humans then he can prove hes not#an absolute disappointment to the fae like he has a lot riding on this in his mind#and his friends are just like buddy you cant even play if you dont pick a human you gotta#anyway here is noll and then i have ideas for two other fae and also a veeeery vague idea for two of the humans though not as sure yet#rae if you read all this you should know the cobalt is a fae thanks bye#i am so stressed posting ocs every single time and i am incredibly depressed and anxious#so good lord please let me not just delete all the tags in an hour bc im ashamed
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Babies first time trying to build and decorate a house in TS3 please don’t cyber bully me.
#ts3#the sims#the sims3#sims 3 interior#simblr#i downloaded some CC#sorry s3 girlies but building and decorating in s4 is so much easier#though cast is cool#when I go into tab mode my game zooms in ssoooo close so these were difficult to take#and my screenshots come out incredibly dark#so I had to edit them#and I don't know how to turn off the notifications on the picture either#and I had to download OMSP which is frustrating to use but I needed it for clutter#but I did have fun#I can't stop just making everything wood though#and I'm trying to not download too much S4 conversions cause I've been playing with the same stuff for years so I want something new to me
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if you had to smite from the earth either nixon or garfield who would you eliminate. history will continue unchanged except if you smite nixon all the nixon memes disappear and if you smite garfield the orange cat goes with him
I would sacrifice anything that is dear to me to scrub this animal from all the veins of culture that it has slithered into. I was frustrated with the Garfield comic strip from the twentieth of August, 2024.
Jim Davis has given up trying to claw from the mud. He has drawn a cat looking at the reader and telling a wet joke. By making Garfield a mere static image to surround text, Davis has taken the work of his heart and lowered it to the level of the borders that surround a pop up window. My feelings on this topic eclipse and obliterate any other nuances to your question. If ever presented a shot at this king, I would take it.
#If we're being serious#I've been finding Garfield an interesting person to read about#as far as I can tell he isn't openly evil in the ways that US presidents and politicians tend to be#and in many ways is virtuous‚ extremely academic‚ fought in the civil war‚ he just seems to be a decent guy who was president for a bit#who knows what he'd done if he hadn't been shot though.#otherwise gilded age politics are fucking bananas and its very entertaining to learn about them#entirely believable that they were using the same system that we use now because the same shit happens#Nixon on the other hand is a monster. He's pop culture's caricature of an evil president#I find him fascinating for very different reasons‚ partly because we have so much on him with all the phone conversations he recorded#there's something really cool about being able to hear how the president verbally reacted when hearing about something big over the phone#https://youtu.be/WwBD49fD1UM?si=j-uWUbM0L0M0OUqS#incredible privilege to be able to listen to some of his drunken phone calls#and we have so many more photos of him than Garfield too#his administration was wacky and I'd love to read more about it#bizarre stuff went on in his white house and his mind#I guess I don't know what my answer would be
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Never gonna be over how unutterably pathetic and in dire need of ANY kind of companionship or friendship that doesn't revolve around their band the entirety of dethklok are. I love these horrible idiots who are so devoid of any real connections outside of themselves that they will latch onto anyone unfortunate enough to get too close to any one of them! And GOD help anyone they latch onto!!
#jay talkin#metalocalypse#im thinking about the doubles episode where they just seem genuinely happy to have 'friends'#who arent like. industry people. these men are so starved of any kind of connection#and it takes them four seasons a rock opera and a movie to realise they can find that in each other lmao#also thinking about how quickly any of them bond and become really intense abt anyone in their life#aka: NATHAN TOWARDS ABIGAIL. oh dear poor abigail oh dear#but also toki to damn near anyone and this goes for the entire band tbh as well they all do this at least once#and yeah its mainly cuz 10min eps mean u gotta progress stuff fast#but also holy shit. charles these boys want friends so bad u gotta set em up on playdates or smth#maybe it'd get some of their dumb stupid idiot energy out and they'd be better behaved. well. no they wldnt but... u can dream#i do think theres smth to be said that yeah all of dethklok are cool theyre metal superstars they r good at what they do#theyre also fucking prophesised saviours too and theyre also incredibly dangerous idiots and terrible ppl#but never forget that they are also. so so SO pathetic and isolated and dysfunctional#these men have not lived in the real world in decades and are disconnected and unsocial and spoilt and u can see that this does impact#the way they interact w the world! they need like. anything other than the band in their lives hah. they do need to pal around#im glad they find that in each other eventually!!#i dont want 2 sound like im babying them or infantilising them these r grown asshole idiot men but like. listen these shitheards r lonelyyy#everyone in their lives is like. assigned to be there and is set as beneath them in a class and workbased system#they dont rlly have ppl who r just there cuz they like em. outside of fans. and fans arent rlly a real connection yknow#their only connections come via work networking sex and violence and worship baby!!!! its fucked up!
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ik I'm kind of late to it, but I just watched the live action atla series!!! I've only watched the first so far, but I have some things to say!!!
(Also, please keep in mind it's been ages since I watched the cartoon, so any comparisons I make are based on my memory).
Okay, I'd just like to say I love the casting so far. Like, Katara and Sokka are so cartoon-accurate (is that a thing?), and while Aang does look like he's approximately 7 years old, his casting was also good.
The casting for Zuko was different than how I'd imagined him to look if he was a real person, but so far he seems good too :) although I am slightly concerned about his facial expressions because um.
Anyway!!! I love love love Katara so far, and though I wish she'd stand up to Sokka and his stupid patriarchal beliefs (I don't know how to explain how he acts at this point any better tbh) a bit more, she's so sweet and the way she immediately cares for Aang is just <3<3<3
I'm going to be honest, Aang flying at the beginning looked so unrealistic the cgi was not cgi-ing at that point I think (I also have no idea if that was actually cgi or smth else but let's ignore that!!! Hopefully you know what I mean). But I love how they did Katara's waterbending because, wow, that little sphere of water she made levitate after Aang told her how; I thought it looked so cool.
The firebending!!! I don't know how to describe it other than 'cool,' because it just looked so realistic and :O, you know what I mean???
The Avatar State looked amazing too!! Aang did look a bit strange (I think) when he was flying during it, but other than that, the way his markings lit up was just like the cartoon; it genuinely looked so powerful.
Anyway !!! I will probably also rant about the rest of the episodes when I get to those :)
#as someone who LOVED (and still does love) the cartoon#so far the show looks incredible#how they did the air temples (idk if thats the right word !!!!) was so so so cool#and the cgi and stuff for appa is awesome too#overall im really enjoying it so far :)#atla#atla live action#avatar the last airbender#avatar aang#atla netflix#netflix avatar#katara#atla sokka#atla katara#sokka#atla zuko#so sorry for this long rant#and thank you if you read it lmao#i hope it made at least some sense!!!
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#my dumb stuff#poll#polls#tumblr polls#im just curious mostly#totally won’t influence the way I write them at all#in a silly way of course#never mind the fact that these are some of my players in a high stakes sci fi ish political drama allegory that I’m writing#not the Main Two tho that are pitted against eachother these are just the main spy type cast they have at their disposal#for some good old fashioned espionage and power of information type shit#my Main Two are funny tho cus one of them is essentially a JFK stand-in and the other ones like#what if the most insufferable Wall Street bro you’ve ever seen genetically modified to be as annoying as humanly possible was also#incredibly good at giving speeches and making money#and he sucks so bad btw I hate his guts but he’s also my twisted babygirl#I love my Kennedy boy too tho what can I say#I love my writing projects#this one’s got a cool name too and I feel like if I can get the plot worked out I’d have a really cool standalone novel#I’ve got the themes and writing style and some characters worked out same with particular motifs and repeated metaphors and stuff#I just need the plot beats#and I just read John Trubys Anatomy of Genres so like I’m psyched and ready to go baby this is gonna be so fun
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loop hero is such a banger video game
#loop hero#i love it sm#every now and then i feel like going back and playing some loop hero. i still have a few achievements to do#but yeah anyway. incredible pixelart like this artstyle is super cool esp for character portraits#i like the story and dialogues and lore too. it's not overwhelmingly vast which makes sense with a roguelike like this but it's so fun!!!#and gameplay is surprisingly engaging. never expected “idle” gameplay like this but it just works!! definitely one of my fav games#oh my god and the MUSIC#absolute chiptune BANGERS#game stuff
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oh my god I'm so happy right now because I am playing in a local concert today & tomorrow with the amateur orchestra I'm in and we do it in collaboration with a local orchestra club and they asked me and a few others to participate as 1st violin in one of their pieces and it's one of my favorites!!!
#I got to play it four years ago and absolutely loved it and now I get to play it again with incredibly talented and stunning musicians#I feel like a worm#like don't get me wrong the people in our orchestra are incredible and talented too!!!#it's just that I really admire some of the club's musicians and it's cool that they just spontaneously said “hey you wanna play too?”#and of course because I really like the song :)#stuff
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Sometimes I feel very sad that I didn’t just focus on one creative skill. I look at my art some days and go I wish I’d spent all my time making only that, because that way it would look better and I’d do more and it wouldn’t matter if I couldn’t write very well because my art would be amazing and I’d be able to make the stuff I really want to and maybe even get a job related to it and I wouldn’t feel like so much time was wasted. And often times it really does feel like you’re wasting time and everything is telling you to just pick something to focus on so it can mean something and you can never seem to pick one of anything.
And then other days I feel like an absolute GOD. Anyone else able to write your own fic and then draw art for it just because you can? Can you make an edit/amv after writing a silly little analysis post on the show/character that is so perfectly on beat and fits the lyrics and with transitions so slapping you get chills while watching? Can you write a short silly ditty on the guitar about how you’re feeling using the eight chords know and belt it out only a little bit off key then do a choppy little animation of your sona singing it?
I may not be the most skilled at all of the above, and it can be a little lonely to be a one man band who doesn’t play half as well as a lot of people out there, but when your power goes out or your wifi dies or you have a day off, everyone else is busy and you’re alone...
you play the best gosh dang music in existence
#knox rambles#feeling some kinda way lately o7#these kinda vibes come back every once in a while#just gotta remind myself that ten year old me would go insane over the fact I can do what i can do#even if I'm not the best out there I am sure the best me out there#and that's pretty cool#i may only know one strum pattern on guitar and half a dozen chords at best#i may not be very good with punctuation and grammar while writing and I reuse words too much#I may do my art all leaning a little to the left too much and proportioned weirdly#I may export my amv's wrong so they're not on beat or forget good audio that would have made it REALLY great#I may write analysis's that are a little biased and look back on them and cringe a bit#I may only be able to animate the simpliest and shortest things and then go months even years at a time without animating#I may struggle to do animatics for what feels like no reason even if i want to so badly#but I can do all that stuff#I can write i can read and I can draw I can play guitar a bit i can sing I can make animatics animations amv's#and wow that's pretty incredible if you ask me#rambling rambling zero thoughts head empty YEET HGSDFLKJSDF#creative insecurities#they always sneak up on you a bit hglksjdfsdf#pretty safe to say I wouldn't be a creative if I didn't feel inadequate every person to ever create usually feels some kinda way ghsdflk;jsd#lays down#woo#hoping I can get back into the swing of being creative#things been pretty rough at home but I miss making stuff#ANYWAY HOPE Y'ALLS HAVING A FIRE DAY
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my poster from the con!
#compendiumnotebook#alright finally get to post it!#the glare is killer but i still wanted to try#the con was super fun. there were some dickheads (what would u expect) but for the most part everyone was really nice#waiting in the yuri lowenthal line probably took like 45 minutes#there was an overflow line filled with people with sasuke funko pops and spiderman merch#it was super cute#all of the spiderman fans were incredibly sweet btw#the man himself was a sweetheart、you could tell he did this for a living. very professional. he had little things he would repeat over#a little kid asked abt yosuke and hes like “oh yosuke is my brosuke!” like he did it a million times、but he was still very polite#i was unfortunately a little out of it because there were too many people at the con but he tried striking up a convo w me#he knew what the poster was! he was like “oh neat、the kotobukiya one!”#like you can tell he tries to keep up with the franchises he's apart of for his fans and its sweet#aleks le was also very polite、 poor guy had to put up with carts of resellers though. like just carts of ppl with pops for him to sign#fortunately i got to actually ask him some stuff because i was better adjusted to the con. he thought my poster was cool#he said he had had 2 people previous ask him about persona in the con、so he was excited to talk about it#and oh lol#while he was signing he asked who i was cosplayed as because he thought i looked like akechi. lol.#very sweet men 、nice little expierence
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😮💨
[sorry for the hardcore tag rants, y'all]
#more than a little exhausted by certain things#no stability anywhere in life#not in work or family or even friends#would settle for literally just one single shred of continuity and reliance#one single piece of my life I can count on to be there for me and reliable and safe#just a shred of something or someone being there for me in the long run#work has proven garbage#family is so fucking volatile it might as well be an unhandled explosive#and the very few threads of friendship I've found and thought were worth the time and effort to strengthen have just#left me abandoned or floundering doing either all the work to be left behind or what I can to be uncounted for#either nothing or not enough and not counted for in the long run#because apparently my friendship is just as forgettable or easily disregarded as every other part of me#or at least that's how it definitely fuckin feels#and I'm So Spooked when it comes to making friends!#I'm scared to connect with people who actually seem genuinely interested in getting to know me and talk to me!#and that sucks bc I want to get to know them but everyone else seemed interested at first too and then a few months later!#they're just as hard to get in touch with as everyone else who turns away!#I don't want to annoy anyone or be too much anymore#I'm tired of getting my feelings hurt like a big giant fucking baby!#i know it's mostly on me and managing shit but it still just. sucks ASS.#I don't wanr to be scared to make friends because people abandon me#I don't want to run people off#I want to be better and have better because I know I deserve it#sorry for ranting I'm just. incredibly jacked up about some more recent stuff bc it brought up long term stuff#i am not immune to hating myself bc of bad friends#anyway yeah sorry i am done grambling#grant grumbles#grambling is my new grant grumbles extra#also to you amazing guys who are so full of love (myccc and hack!!!!!) ily tons and you bring me life#i am trying to be just as cool and worthy as you both!!!! please don't ever leave me! you keep me going even if I don't show it well!!!
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