#but so far I was never happy when anyone told me that I should grow my hair out again

[nofckingcluebro]

So I never really see posts about it, but I actually hate drawings that show Thanatos with long hair.

Don't get me wrong. The drawings are beautiful. Even Jen Zee posted a drawing with him having long hair. And Moros looks dope with it. For me it's not a style problem.

But he talks about never missing his long hair, and how he "chopped it all off and never looked back", and as somebody who did that, I can more than relate.

I understand that people like men with long hair, or long hair in general, and when they say that someone would look good with a certean type of hair don't mean bad, but often times that person actively chooses not to have that hairstyle. For me, having long hair always felt bad and suffacating, and even now when it gets just a bit too long I sometimes want to rip it out, and short hair is way more convinient and comfortable, and Thanatos actively says that he prefers it.

Anyways, point is, don't force people to have or do something they don't want. Feel free to make your art and everything, again, they look good, and are nice. But just remember what that character/person thinks of it. Also I honestly hope Super giant will never make a game that plays after the first Hades in time with long haired Thanatos in it. It's their character and all, but somehow it'd feel.. disrespectful and out of character to me.

[thatbadadvice]

Help! I'm A Private Person!

Neil Gaiman, Journal.NeilGaiman.com, 14 January 2025:

Over the past many months, I have watched the stories circulating the internet about me with horror and dismay. I’ve stayed quiet until now, both out of respect for the people who were sharing their stories and out of a desire not to draw even more attention to a lot of misinformation. I've always tried to be a private person, and felt increasingly that social media was the wrong place to talk about important personal matters. I've now reached the point where I feel that I should say something. As I read through this latest collection of accounts, there are moments I half-recognise and moments I don’t, descriptions of things that happened sitting beside things that emphatically did not happen. I’m far from a perfect person, but I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Ever.  I went back to read the messages I exchanged with the women around and following the occasions that have subsequently been reported as being abusive. These messages read now as they did when I received them – of two people enjoying entirely consensual sexual relationships and wanting to see one another again. At the time I was in those relationships, they seemed positive and happy on both sides. And I also realise, looking through them, years later, that I could have and should have done so much better. I was emotionally unavailable while being sexually available, self-focused and not as thoughtful as I could or should have been. I was obviously careless with people's hearts and feelings, and that's something that I really, deeply regret. It was selfish of me. I was caught up in my own story and I ignored other people's. I’ve spent some months now taking a long, hard look at who I have been and how I have made people feel.  Like most of us, I’m learning, and I'm trying to do the work needed, and I know that that's not an overnight process. I hope that with the help of good people, I'll continue to grow. I understand that not everyone will believe me or even care what I say but I’ll be doing the work anyway, for myself, my family and the people I love. I will be doing my very best to deserve their trust, as well as the trust of my readers. At the same time, as I reflect on my past – and as I re-review everything that actually happened as opposed to what is being alleged – I don't accept there was any abuse. To repeat, I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Some of the horrible stories now being told simply never happened, while others have been so distorted from what actually took place that they bear no relationship to reality. I am prepared to take responsibility for any missteps I made. I’m not willing to turn my back on the truth, and I can't accept being described as someone I am not, and cannot and will not admit to doing things I didn't do.

Dear Neil,

You, sir, are nothing other than fundamentally misunderstood — indicated in every sense by this, a smart and good post that you published on the whole-ass internet for literally the entire world to read.

The important thing is that you're learning! And you deserve infinite credit for that. Not nearly enough people appreciate how much you've learned about yourself in the course of ~ allegedly ~ committing sexual assault against multiple, probably crazy, women and the aftermath thereof. Less enlightened men would disregard the experiences of women who have highly specific and detailed accounts of being sexually abused, but you are open to the idea that the women who foolishly believe you assaulted them were simply mislead by your interminable charm! For which you cannot be held responsible! What a gift you are, friend; your generosity and open-mindedness are unparalleled.

Truly, whomst among us has not been where you find yourself now? Come, enjoy the company of friends who understand the brutal loneliness that results from being misunderstood by hysterical bitches who fail to appreciate the privilege of having your masterful fingers shoved up their asses without notice!

Again and again, women love men like you too much. They want you to be emotionally and sexually available! And that is just so, so much to ask. You have a lot going on! It's not a ding on them — of course they find you irresistible, being as you are an intellectual titan — and they may find themselves confused and intimidated by your sexual prowess, unaware that you exist in a world beyond pedestrian notions of consent. That is what makes your work so particularly meaningful and powerful.

You write about a man who does a bad thing, but you do the other good thing! You do a good thing, but in your work, a man does a bad thing! This is the stuff of sheer brilliance, capturing the sturm unt drang of the human condition — or, at least, of the humans whose conditions matter most, which is to say, men of your creative stature.

The sorry truth is that despite your best efforts, no one understands you, the author of 40-plus years of written work in which you had every fucking opportunity to emulate literally any character of your design who was not an unrepentant rapist. Whomst among us has not struggled with such quandaries? Whomst among us has not wondered: Should I rape women in the presence of my child, or should I just the fuck wait a minute and destroy my marriage by other means? Should I order a cinnamon bagel, or an egg sandwich? These are the questions men such as us must grapple with in a world where cancel culture has run rampant, and where people are liable to believe anything they hear from over half a dozen unbridled harpies (story idea! make sure Katee Robert doesn't see this, she seems like a bitch with designs) whose indeterminate fantasies have been aggressively fact-checked by risk-averse media legal departments.

You're right and everyone else is wrong, and that's exactly the take-away that everyone will have from reading this thing that you posted! Great work, great instincts, great writing. It's like Stardust, but hotter. You know what I mean.

A+ all around, no notes other than: you should share this with more people directly so they have the clearest possible idea of where you're coming from. Don't hold back, bud!

[xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox]

Rumination

Ruminate

(v.) To think about something deeply

After Edward left her, Bella Swan fell apart. Desperate to try and save his eldest daughter, Charlie brings his youngest daughter to Forks to see if she can bring her sister out of her depression.

Now, y/n must try to help her sister find her way back to the light while also trying to navigate her Junior year of high school in the odd town of Forks.

Chapter Fourteen: Preparations

now playing: Monsters by Hurricane Bells

Bella’s graduation day arrived. Charlie didn’t know why I wasn’t happy for her, and scolded me for not supporting my sister. The entire ceremony was spent, on my part, staring blankly at a wall.

Jessica gave her Valedictorian speech, everyone received their diplomas, and then went to party at the Cullens’ house. I went back to Sam and Emily’s house and did my best not to think about anything except the people in front of me.

When everyone filed in for dinner, there were three distinct absences.

“Where’s Jacob, Embry, and Quill?” I asked, dread prickling up my spine. Seth looked around, as if only now noticing they were gone, and the rest looked uneasy. Colin and Brady, the two newest additions to the pack, hastily turned their faces to their food to avoid answering me.

“They went to crash the graduation party,” Jared said at last, in between bites. I stared at him, but he kept his head down. I sighed, sitting down heavily at the table.

Cartoons played idly in the background, and no one moved to change it.

It was a while before anyone spoke again, but Emily was the one to break the silence.

“You should spend the day with Bella,” She said gently, “Spend time with her before…”

She trailed off, but anyone could hear the implied “before you can’t anymore.” I closed my eyes for a long moment before nodding.

“I will,” I said quietly, feeling defeated. No matter how badly I wanted my sister to stay alive, she was determined to become a vampire and stay with Edward forever.

Would I be able to see her, after her change? Bella told me that newborn vampires were the most bloodthirsty, far stronger than matured vampires and more willing to lean into their killdrive. If I could see her, would she still want to see me? For how long would we be able to see eachother? She would remain eternally frozen, always youthful and eighteen; her skin would remain smooth, her body never wrinkling or changing. How long would it be until I, her younger sister, would look like her mother? Her grandmother? Would I ever be able to explain why my sister was eternally youthful, if I ever married or had children? Would she come to Charlie’s, or Renee’s, or Phil’s funerals? She would stay the same age as when she was turned, and in twenty, or thirty, or forty years, when I was grown, with an adult body and signs of aging. I was always supposed to outlive her, as the youngest. We were supposed to grow old together, live beside each other so our children could play together and our husbands could be friends.

Quill came through the door, breaking me from my thoughts. He looked elated.

“Sam,” He panted, clearly having ran from the Cullens’ house back here, “The leeches want a meeting. The small girl, the one who can see the future, saw the vampires from Seattle coming down here for Bella.”

My heart seized, and I whipped my head up to stare at him. Quill’s eyes met mine, and he seemed to freeze. I supposed I wasn’t supposed to be here when he broke the news, then.

“Let me come.” It wasn’t a question, really, more a demand aimed at Sam. Jared and Paul opened their mouths, but I continued, “Bella will be there. I want to go, too. Neutral parties, right?”

“You two are anything but neutral,” Paul muttered, and I smacked his arm. I didn’t look away from Sam, though, because he did seem to think about it, just a bit.

I kept pressing, “If the vampires are going to be after Bella, I can help. I want to help, Sam, please. She’s my sister.”

Unwillingly, tears welled up in my eyes. And I hastily tried to blink them away, wiping at my cheeks and swallowing the lump in my throat. Sam closed his eyes, and the rest of the werewolves went still. I assumed they were talking telepathically, likely also with Jacob and Embry. I didn’t know where Leah and Seth were, but I assumed they were also being consulted. After a long moment, Paul clenched his jaw tightly and Jared winced, glancing sidelong at us.

“You will stay beside Paul at all times,” Sam said at last, “If you’re not beside him, then you’re beside Leah. The two of them will be making sure that you are safe.”

“If something goes wrong, Leah’s going to take you and run.” Paul said, his voice tense and his arms crossed tightly across his chest. I nodded quickly, thanking them.

I changed into thick denim jeans, pulling a hoodie over my shirt before shoving my feet into my boots. The wolves and I filed outside and into the forest, and I stepped back a good distance as they shifted. The sound was still horrible, the sound of bones breaking and muscle ripping to rearrange enough to make me a bit sick. Seth, in wolf form, appeared on my right side and nearly knocked me over as he rubbed past me. Leah, now on my left, kept me upright before crouching lowly and using her massive shoulder to lightly knock against my knee. Making an assumption, I crawled onto her back and situated myself to hold tightly to her neck. She made a huffing sound, slightly fond sounding, and stood back up. For a second, my distance from the ground was startling, and I gripped tighter to her fur. Paul walked over, his big nose pressing against the side of my head before moving down to nudge my arm harder into Leah’s fur.

“I don’t want to pull her hair,” I muttered, startling slightly as Leah’s chest rumbled in what almost sounded like a growling laugh. Paul nudged me again, and I held as tightly as I could. Satisfied, he again pressed his snout into the side of my head before moving away as the wolves started to run. I kept my body pressed tightly to Leah’s back, but the feeling of it was exhilarating, almost like flying.

When we came to a slow stop just outside a clearing, I could see cars and people standing around. None of the wolves made any moves to enter the clearing of trees, and I stayed quiet. Paul and Leah were close to the middle of the pack, both farther from the front than anyone else. I assumed it was because they were charged with ensuring my safety, and I was proved right when Sam and the others breached the wall of trees while the three of us stayed just behind them.

Carlisle took a step forward, his face friendly and his posture relaxed. He spoke to the pack kindly, his explanations pleasant as Edward, assuredly, told him what the pack was thinking. The newborns would be here to kill Bella in four days, he said, and my heart clenched.

Eventually, Paul and Leah moved into the clearing with me, and I watched as Jasper turned his back to us and began to explain the newborns to the Cullens and Bella. I listened intently as he spoke, and I wondered how he knew so much about newborn vampires and their fighting style. It sounded like more than just being one once, and I quietly asked Leah if she thought he had been part of a newborn army before. She dipped her head shallowly, and I took it for a nod.

Jasper eventually called Emmett forward, and I was stunned as they began to fight. I knew they were quick, but it was startling to actually see their speed on display. Paul, in particular, seemed rather intent as he watched Emmett fight.

“Tell Paul not to get any ideas about fighting Emmett,” I whispered again to Leah, “He thought Paul was cool, the last time.”

After a moment, Paul huffed and leaned over, nipping lightly at my jacket to tug on the sleeve. I was jostled a little bit before he helped correct my balance, and I snickered.

Alice fought Jasper, showcasing her ability to see the future. An uneasy ripple went through the pack as we watched them, and Edward looked smug as he murmured to Bella. My eyes stuck to my sister, grateful that she was still human. She was so beautiful, full of life as she was.

Bitterly, I wished Edward had never come back. Bella would be eternally hurt by it, but she would heal. She would remain human. My eyes refocused as Edward stepped up to fight Jasper, and I hoped he was knocked on his ass. They fought competitively, almost like Jacob, Quill, and Embry would. When I looked around at said wolves, their intent gazes were set on Edward and Jasper. Jacob especially seemed keen to watch how Edward fought, but Paul and Sam were equally as focused. The vampires made odd snarling sounds as they sparred, almost animalistic but with human vocals. It was disconcerting.

The rest of the vampires sparred against Jasper, and it was interesting to watch. They were beyond fast, and their familiarity with eachother seemed to help only Jasper as he went for their weaknesses. Oddly enough, he was more careful with Esme and Rosalie, slowing down and pulling his punches enough that they weren’t so hurt by them. When he went against Emmett again, though, he was just as vicious as before.

“The pack thinks it would be helpful to be familiar with each of our scents - so they don't make mistakes later. If we could hold very still, it will make it easier for them.” Edward announced, his tone flat. Carlisle agreed easily, and Sam led the way as the pack moved to sniff at the vampires. Leah hesitated for a moment before pushing closer to Paul they made their way over to the Cullens. Sam went from one vampire to the next, followed closely by Jared, then Paul, then Leah and I, then Quill, Seth, and Embry. Collin and Brady followed after some hesitation, and Jacob was last, having diverted from the path to so to Bella.

Emmett watched Paul as he sniffed around him, grinning. Paul moved on before making eye contact with me, his gaze flat as if to say, “See? I can be civil if they can.”

I snorted, shaking my head as Leah moved forward to sniff at him, too. Her hackles had since been raised, and I could almost feel her distaste as she had to familiarize herself with the way the Vampires smelled. They smelled like dust and ashes, if I remembered Paul describing them right.

“Running with werewolves, huh, Y/n?” He asked, raising his hand up for a high-five. Paul snapped his head back over to us, and Leah tensed as she shifted her weight away. Patting her side, I carefully returned Emmett’s high-five.

“Sort of,” I replied, “I’m not as fast as they are, so Leah had to carry me.”

The joke wasn’t all that good, but Emmett laughed easily. He was good natured, I figured, and it seemed to lessen the tension between the Cullens as he interacted with Leah and I kindly. Jacob went back to the forest to change back into his human form, and I was allowed to stand around by Bella while Paul and Leah hovered closely.

I just want to know what he plans to do with you for the fight,” Jacob told Bella as I got within earshot, and Bella looked incredulous.

“Do with me?” She demanded, her brows drawing together. Edward put a hand on her shoulder placating and explained, “You can’t stay in Forks, it would be too obvious.”

“What about Charlie?” She demanded again, then glancing at me and adding, “What about Y/n?”

“He’ll be with my dad,” Jacob supplied, “There’s a game, right? It’s Saturday. As for Y/n…”

He trailed off, and whatever thought he had made Paul snarl. Jacob held his hands up in surrender, winching slightly at whatever response he got in return.

“I was going to stay with Emily at the Reservation,” I answered Bella, but Edward shook his head. I slid my eyes towards him as he began to speak.

“No, you and Bella need to be far away from Forks. Both you and her scents are distinct, especially when I conjunction with mine and the wolves’.” He said, his voice so certain it sounded like facts. I suppose it was, as unhappy as it made me. “We need you two together to ensure you’re safe, and that neither of you go running for the other like with James.”

The name caught my attention, and I snapped my head back to Bella.

“What does that mean?” I asked, my voice painfully calm. She looked white as a ghost as she stuttered out nonsense. Turning back to Edward, I demanded harshly, “What the hell does that mean?”

He looked faux surprised, asking, “You didn’t know?”

“You know damn well I dont know, asshole—” O started, but he shook his head.

“No, actually, I wasn’t sure. You and Bella are equally as difficult for me to hear. Even Charlie’s thoughts are rather dim.” He explained, then added, “But I assumed Bella didn’t tell you. James, the tracker from last year, called Bella from your phone number and pretended that he had you hostage. He used an old recording of your voice, I believe. That’s how he caught Bella.”

I clenched my jaw, my nails biting into my palm as I clenched my fist. I turned an accusatory glare towards my sister, “You never thought to tell me that I was used to lure you into a trap?”

“You didn’t need to know—” she started, and I swore at her.

“Bullshit I didn’t,” I snapped, “That’s the whole reason this crazy bitch is after you now! Her crazy ass boyfriend used my voice to try and kill you, then got killed by Edward, and now she’s after you for revenge!”

Bella tried to speak again, but Jacob cut her off. To Edward, he asked, “We can disguise her scent, right? You can’t smell her around us.”

Edward tilted his head, “That’s right.”

They spoke a bit more, only bits of it verbal. I assumed that Edward was reading minds more than listening to them speak, and it was decided that Jacob would carry Bella around to mess up the trail. For the experiment, I wandered back to Paul and stood close to his chest. Briefly, he turned to press his head to mine before standing straight again.

“I wonder if we could plant Bella’s things in a tent or something, to draw the newborns into it.” I told him, “Maybe put her in clothes Jacob has worn or something, too, since you guys throw off the scent.”

Before he could respond, Bella and Jacob were back and talking to Edward. Leah shifted uneasily before Jacob jogged back towards us, explaining that Seth would be watching Bella while the fight lasted. Before that, though, they would have her walk through the forest to set a trap, then be whisked away to a safe spot. I would be kept with Emily on the Reservation, and one of the others would be assigned to watch us.

I wasn’t very fond of the plan, but it wasn’t up to me. Paul carried me back to the house, running slower than Leah had. Sleepily, I watched the passing scenery before Paul pulled to a stop, letting be walk back to the house while he and the rest of the pack dispersed to change back.

———

Ok guys!! Here’s chapter 14, I hope you enjoyed it!

Not much to say in my notes today, so thanks for reading!! Bye!

Taglist:

@anasbatzlo

@pillowjj

@pillowprincess4him

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: October 2024

hello, ahoy, and welcome to my October reading recap.

I made a real effort to focus on spooOOOoooky books this month, in the name of the season; you may even recall that I started early and read some spooky stories at the tail end of September. (read Carmen Maria Machado's comic The Low, Low Woods, btw.)

I've never been great at sticking to a theme but I think it helped that what gets classified as "horror" can vary greatly, so I never really got bored of the genre. I did get disappointed more than once by how Not Spooky some of these books turned out to be, but that's a totally different question.

right at the end of the month you'll notice a couple of outliers with Caped Crusade and Luster, which happened entirely because I was out of library books and on the road for a conference, so I was reading what I could get my hands on! I've been working on rereading Caped Crusade on and off for a couple months and I bought Luster at a cool indie bookstore in the town I was visiting and then inhaled most of it on the way home.

ANYWAY. to the books!

And Then I Woke Up (Malcolm Devlin, 2022) - this is a novella with an interesting spin on the zombie story, where the "zombies" are actually people who have started suffering hallucinations that fill them with paranoia and force them see other people as monsters. so, like, there were never any REAL monsters, but a woman looked at her young son and saw him as a cannibalistic monster, so she killed him. so who's the real monster? it's very deep. this story's explanation for this is "the narrative," an idea so strong that it simply seems to take hold of anyone who's around a sufficiently charismatic ringleader who drives them to join in their delusions and kill innocents who don't share their worldview. it's not a super subtle zombie metaphor, but I guess very few zombie metaphors are. it's fine.

Through the Woods (Emily Carroll, 2014) - I truly wholeheartedly wish I had more to say about this but it's just a very charming creepy collection of comics. my favorite was the one that was the scariest, involving humans getting taken over by body-snatching worm monsters, but on the whole it was a very minor creepy factor. the art's great the whole way through.

Happy Medium (Sarah Adler, 2024) - Happy Medium is October's romance novel as picked by my patreonites, and I will admit: my hopes were not high going in. a conwoman posing as a psychic clashing with a skeptical hottie goat farmer didn't ping me as a great mix, but honestly? HONESTLY? it kind of served. there was a much more well-rounded emotional core to this book than I often encounter in my romance novels; at risk of sounding like a cornball it genuinely had a lot of heart. the conwoman is actually extremely charming, I was rooting for her in a big way, and her emotional journey goes so far beyond just falling in love with the goat farmer. I'll happily claim Happy Medium as my #1 romance of the year unless a challenger arises in the next two months, but it's not looking likely.

The Ones That Got Away (Stephen Graham Jones, 2010) - this is a collection of Graham's short stories that was published long before he became a huge name in horror with books like The Only Good Indians and My Heart Is a Chainsaw. and as much as I hate to say it, I think I personally prefer his longer form fiction. none of these short stories were bad, per se, and they're incredibly stylized and polished, but I think I like Jones' work a lot more when it has time to simmer out. I may have also been biased by the fact that I was desperately seeking something scary to read, because while Jones plays with some pretty narsty concepts, the horror tends not to hit until a last page reveal that recontextualizes everything that's come before. which is cool! but not scaring me as much as I wish it was.

The Salt Grows Heavy (Cassandra Khaw, 2023) - a lot of people told me I should read this because it stars a killer mermaid and a plague doctor, which are two aesthetic archetypes I love, and I will give this to Cassandra Khaw: I liked this a lot more than their other book, Nothing But Blackened Teeth. which is clearing a very low bar, since I didn't really like that book at all, but I do think Salt is genuinely a pretty marked improvement. the prose is still kind of torturously overwrought in many places and I desperately wish that Khaw would put the thesaurus away, but there's like. a Concept here. the core is fun.

Tell Me I'm Worthless (Alison Rumfitt, 2021) - this book is by far the scariest I read, because the horror is hatred and bigotry and a fucked up, evil house that brings out the very worst of everyone who steps inside of it. this book gets so fucked up and bloody and downright nasty in its exploration of the characters and the underlying bigotries that turn them against each other and drive them apart. I don't want to spoil anything, but the book follows a white trans woman named Alice and her mixed race, cis ex-girlfriend Ila. in the past Alice and Ila entered the evil house with their friend Hannah; that ended with Hannah dead and missing and Alice and Ila both scarred and traumatized, each certain that they were raped by the other. so that's what this book is like! not a lighthearted undertaking, but one that I could. not. put. down.

A Sunny Place for Shady People (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell 2024) - what is there to say? Enríquez is my short story queens, and her new release absolutely lived up to the precedent set for me by The Dangers of Smoking in Bed, which was originally published in 2009 but not translated into English until 2021. this collection is sooo aptly named, because many of the stories are obsessed with the terror of places: hotels haunted by memories, neighborhoods filled with ghosts, junkyards where bodies are hidden, towns abandoned and taken over by something sinister. also, completely detached from the quality of the writing, this book has one of the most striking covers I've encountered this year. the screaming yellow cover and bold purple text looked SO COOL under the purple string lights in my bedroom, which was a little +1 to my mood every time I saw it :)

Thirst (Marina Yuszczuk, trans. Heather Cleary 2024) - I think if I had to pick a favorite book from my spooktober reading, Thirst would edge Tell Me I'm Worthless out by just a hair, because I'm just SUCH a sucker for a modern gothic. this novel is split into two chunks. the first is narrated by a vampire (hinted to be one of Dracula's infamous brides) who flees the Old World and crosses the sea to find safety in a young Buenos Aires, where she struggles to figure out how to slake her thirst and escape from loneliness while avoiding detection in a modernizing world. ultimately she seals herself away in a crypt to escape the relentless pace of change around her, and that's when our perspective shifts. here we join a modern woman with a young son, an ex husband, and a dying mother, who's struggling under the pressure of grief as she watches her mother waste away. she ends up accidentally reawakening the vampire from the first half of the book, and you can imagine things get weirder from there. honestly, for me, the part of this book that's most brilliant is the latter half and it's deep meditation on grief, but the historical portion of the book also plays the vampire gothic to the hilt. delicious!

The Caped Crusade: Batman and the Rise of Nerd Culture (Glen Weldon, 2016) - this is a really fun piece of pop culture history, tracking how Batman came to be DC's little #1 it boy alongside the developing prominence of nerds and fandom as a cultural force to be reckoned with. as I said above, this was a reread for me, because I wanted to circle back now that I've actually read most of the major comic events discussed in the book. Weldon weaves between Batman in comics, TV, and movies to examine on how one portrayal influences another - for instance: the goofy '66 TV series saw a huge backlash in comics, which went way dark to reinforce a grim and serious Batman for 'real' fans who objected to the show making Batman a joke to much of the normie population - and I think that's a really neat lineage to trace. while I think Weldon is sometimes a bit too transparent with his own disdain for certain adaptations, he overall has an extremely levelheaded approach to Batfandom and a conversationally informative approach that I really enjoy. of particular note is the fact that Weldon is himself a gay man, making him one of the only writers I trust to talk about why he personally dislikes Joel Schmacher's movies without getting homophobic about it.

Luster (Raven Leilani, 2020) - this book!!! this was one of three novels recommended to me by Bonnie at Snowbound Books, and Bonnie if you are on this website I owe you my LIFE because you were 100% correct. I was obsessed from the very first line and it only gets better from there; Leilani's prose is painting a searing, witty Sistine Chapel to render her protagonist's miserable life in vivid color and detail. the short version is that our 23 year old hot mess finds herself jobless and homeless and ends up moving in with her married boyfriend who's 23 years her senior, where she forms a powerfully weird connection with his rage-filled wife and develops a bond with the couple's nerdy adopted daughter, as the two of them are the only Black women in the excessively white neighborhood. (spoiler alert: she also realizes that her married boyfriend is a fucking loser.) it's a simple enough premise but the execution is bananas in its flair. I couldn't believe this is Leilani's first and so far only novel; if she ever drops another I'll drag myself through barbed wire to get my hands on it.

Juniper & Thorn (Ava Reid, 2022) - I first became aware of this novel via twitter thread of Reid's that made its way to tumblr, in which Reid bemoaned being harangued by readers who were shocked that her dark fairy tale retelling had, you know, dark shit in it. having now read the book, I have to say: these people are fucking pussies. going into this book I was under the impression that there was full on-page father/daughter rape happening, which is actually NOT the case, so you can breathe easy if incest is a hard no for you. what's actually here is a wizard dad who's emotionally abusive, non-incestuous sexual abuse in the backstories of the main character and her love interest, some moderately explicit consensual sex, some bulimia, and [spoiler alert!] admittedly a lot more cannibalism than expected. it's not a lighthearted romp but it's also like, come on. come on. grow up. in terms of the actual book, rather than its controversy, I didn't LOVE it but I'm still compelled enough by the world building (particularly Jewish author Reid's Hueli people, who are a fairly obvious stand-in for Jews down to people claiming that they have horns and using phrenology to prove the have an unfair advantage at making money) that I'm going to check out Reid's earlier novel, The Wolf and the Woodsman, a novel set in the same world. it felt a little repetitive in places and the characters were largely pretty predictable, both of which may be a byproduct of trying to encapsulate the vibe of a classic fairy tale, but I had a good time reading it.

[milaisreading]

Exes

Author: I wrote this while I was taking a break from studying, so I thought, why not post it as a 1k special! Hope u all like it

Warning: None in particular(?) Some insults are thrown here and there. Y/n uses she/her

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

"Let's break up." (Y/n)'s eyes widened in surprise as she stared at the boy across the table. This wasn't what she expected to happen on Valentine's day of all times. Both her and her boyfriend were at a café near their school, having a cliché date that (Y/n) really enjoyed so far. The food was nice, the weather was great and overall she enjoyed her time with her boyfriend, but as she came to realize she was the only one who was having a nice time. She put her fork down and nervously gulped, her appetite for the cake already gone.

"Ehm... are you serious, (Ex/n)?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well... I thought that our relationship was doing well and... a break up was the last thing on my mind." (Y/n) laughed nervously as the boy took a deep breath.

"You can't use that brain as usually."

"What-"

"You don't think. I gave you so many passes in the past how your behavior is embarrassing. I mean, you are so loud and eat way too much, it's weird." (Y/n) gulped down a sob as the boy fixed his glasses and continued speaking.

"You should be lucky anyone lasted this long with you. Let's just end this now and never interact again, unless it's school related."

"Alright..." (Y/n) said quietly, not wanting to cause any scene in the café.

"(Y/n)... (Y/n)!" The girl jumped up at the sound of Anri's voice and she shook her head, looking over at the concerned woman.

"Sorry Teieri-san, I for lost in my thoughts." (Y/n) said sheepishly as Anri slowly nodded her head.

"I can see that, but are you alright? You have been zoning out a lot lately."

"Yeah, don't worry. I was just thinking of someone." (Y/n) admitted as they continued walk towards Ego's office. The woman looked at the younger for a moment before smirking and nudging her.

"A boy back home?" Anri teased and (Y/n) smiled sadly, a little down over the recent memory she had of him.

"Ah... you could say that..."

"You don't seem all too happy about him. Did something happen?" Anri raised her eyebrow as (Y/n) looked around nervously before slowly nodding her head. Truth is, she never really told anyone about the break up. Her brother and dad wouldn't be of much help of they heard what he told her, and Isabella would have definitely told her brother, so she just kept everything to herself. Why did she even remember him? Was it the nervousness before the match against Japan's national team? She didn't know, but the memories were anything but pleasant.

"Kinda... we had a bad break up." (Y/n) gave Anri a strained smile.

"You can always talk to me. I know a thing or two about break-ups." The woman said, patting the girl's back. Something in her words hit (Y/n) pretty hard and she started sobbing when the memories started hitting her again.

'This is pathetic...' She thought as Anri started calming her down while pulling her into a hug.

"Shhh... let's go and make some tea, you can tell me what happened if that will help. What do you say?" Anri asked quietly as (Y/n) nodded her head.

"Thank you..."

What neither of the 2 noticed was three pairs of eyes watching them like hawks as their figures started growing farther and farther away.

"Did I hear that correctly? Some nobody caused (Y/n) this much distress?" Karasu grinned maniacally as he clenched his fists.

"I don't know who that asshole thinks he is, but he definitely isn't worth those tears." Yukimiya mused, wondering how he can figure out the guy's identity.

"Murder is legal, right?" Otoya questioned as he looked at his two friends.

"It is, if you plan it correctly." Karasu's grin widened while Yukimiya readjusted his glasses.

"Let's go and inform the rest about this. Maybe Reo can hire someone."

"Ha? (Y/n) had a boyfriend?" Gagamaru asked as Yukimiya finished repeating what he and his two friends heard. Bachira was twitching next to him and some could swear they saw a shadow fall over him.

"Well, I did expect (Y/n) to have been popular with guys... she is so sweet and thoughtful after all." Isagi said with a smile as he thought of their manager, trying to surpass the jealousy in the process.

"Can't believe some guy got to her before I did... well, thankfully he is an ex now." Niko mused as Hiori and Kurona nodded in agreement.

"The guy fumbled so bad, if I was him I would have never let her go." Hiori said as Kurona turned his attention to Karasu.

"There is something you 3 aren't telling us. Spit it out." The boy said, curious about the menacing looks the three had.

"Yeah, while I understand you 3 being jealous, there is something off about the way you guys are acting." Chigiri chimed in.

"Ohh... you guys want to know?" Otoya raised an eyebrow.

"Yes we do. Quite obviously it's something important when Karasu nearly broke his water bottle." Barou sighed, pointing at the bent item.

"Well, that asshole not only broke up with her, but he seemed to have done something worse." Otoya said as he cracked his knuckles.

"And waht would that be?" Aryu asked as the room fell silent, everyone looking at the trio in anticipation and bloodlust.

"We don't know yet, but it was quite bad when she broke down in tears. I will give him a punch for every tear he caused." Karasu grumbled as the rest froze at the statement. Sure, they saw (Y/n) upset at times, but crying? Never, and it was something they never wanted to happen. But alas it did, and they needed to get revenge.

"Did you get the name of the asshole?" Rin asked as he was shaking in rage.

"Sadly no, otherwise you guys would be 3 players short." Yukimiya answered as calmly as possible.

"Ne~ Reo, can you somehow figure the bastard's name out?" Nagi groaned as he pulled on the shirt of an equally pissed of Reo. The boy tsked, if only he had his phone.

"Can you make murder legal?" Bachira chimed in, ready to let his rage out on the unknown boy.

"I will try my best, that bastard lost such a treasure and treated her poorly too." The purple-haired boy groaned.

The day of the big game came and everyone at Blue Lock was beyond nervous and excited, this game will decide everything. The stadium was filled with fans and families, who came to cheer the players on. While the Blue Lock players were getting pep talks from their families, (Y/n) was smiling in fondness at them. Niko just stood silently next to her, looking around the place. As (Y/n) turned her attention to the rest of the stadium, she froze when she saw 3 familiar figures.

'Nooo! What is he doing here?! And why are my friends with him?!' (Y/n) gulped as she saw two of her high school friends talking happily with her ex. A sense of betrayal hit her and Niko tensed up at the shift of her mood.

"Are you alright?" The blue-eyed boy asked as (Y/n) slowly nodded her head, laughing nervously.

"Yeah... it's just that I saw someone I didn't expect." (Y/n) said, trying to pull Niko towards the rest of the team, hoping the trio didn't notice her.

"Hey! (Y/n)!!!" The girl flinched as both her and Niko turned to look at a brown haired girl as the blonde next to her waved her hand.

"Ahh! You two are here, too?!" The girl said nervously, letting go of Niko, who observed the trio in wonder.

"Not just us, (Ex/n) is here too! Romantic, right?!" The boy readjusted his glasses and nervously waved at her.

"You know them?" Niko asked and (Y/n) nodded her head.

"Yeah, those two girls are my friends from school."

"And the dude?"

"Oh... we used to date for a short while. I wonder why he is here..." (Y/n) said absent-mindedly as Niko's eyes widened and slowly narrowed, making a mental note of his face.

'That... that dude made (Y/n) cry? The audacity!'

"What took you so long?" Isagi asked as Niko walked into the locker room.

"Yeah, you were pretty cozy out there." Reo rolled his eyes.

"Shut it. I figured out who the trash is." Niko said. Gagamaru raised an eyebrow at the answer and Bachira tilted his head.

"What trash?"

"The guy who broke up and made (Y/n) cry. Literally the lowest form of life for not only that, but also in looks." Niko cringed as Chigiri spit out his water.

"Where is he?! Will I be able to kick a ball in his face?" The redhead asked as Rin shook Niko a few times.

"Why didn't you call us over sooner? I would have thought that trash a lesson or two."

"I would have killed him, to be quite honest with you." Kurona chimed in. Hiori and Aryu held Karasu and Barou back from barging out of the room to search for the guy. They didn't want to upset (Y/n) before the game, now after... after they will turn a blind eye to whatever they decide to do.

"That ugly piece of shit." Nagi muttered.

"Let's just win this game, and after we can worry about him." Otoya suggested, holding back his own anger.

"And what do you suggest we do with him?" Gagamaru wondered, but instead Yukimiya answered instead.

"Easy, we will let Barou, Nagi, Karasu, Rin, Aryu and you handle him. The rest of us will keep (Y/n) away in case she wants to look for him."

"What?! I want to hit him!" Bachira protested.

"We all want to, but we can't just leave (Y/n) all alone, she will grow suspicious." Isagi interjected, more interested in her well-being than in the guy right now.

"And besides, the height of them will be enough to scare him off." Niko added in.

"He is short?" Reo asked.

"Yep. (Y/n) did charity work there." The black-haired boy nodded.

After the game had ended (Y/n) was sent out to get some extra towels and a few other things. The euphoria of the boys winning made her a little bit unaware of her space, so she didn't notice the team watching as she left, nor did she notice her ex running right after her till it was too late.

"(Y/n)! Wait!" The girl froze on the spot and slowly turned around to look at the boy.

"Oh... (Ex/n)... did you need something?" (Y/n) asked nervously, backing away little by little.

"I... I wanted to talk with you. The last time we really spoke..."

"You broke up and insulted me." (Y/n) finished for him, a mix of sadness and anger bubbling up in her.

"Was it really insulting if I said the truth?" The boy raised his eyebrow as the girl clenched her fists.

"Yes, yes it is. You had nor right to tell me all those things, a simple break up would have been enough. Especially when the things I did were normal and not bothering anyone. Please just leave me alone." (Y/n) glared at the boy, who was pretty surprised at her response.

"So Blue Lock taught you how to speak-"

"And you weren't taught any manners." (Y/n)'s eyes widened in surprise as she saw Karasu and Nagi grab the boy's shoulders.

"What are you two doing here?" (Y/n) raised her eyebrow, surprised they left the group.

"We wanted to see where you are. Chigiri needs help." Aryu added, making his presence known.

"Chigiri?"

"Yeah! Come on! I will bring you to him!" Bachira's voice was heard as he ran to where (Y/n) was grabbing the girl's arm.

"Bachira-"

"Let's go!" The brunette cheered, sending a menacing smile towards the shaken up boy and dragged her away. Once out of eyes and ears shot, Rin, Gagamaru and Barou made their presence known and sent the boy death stares.

"So, care to repeat what you told (Y/n) on the day you broke up with her?" Nagi said coldly.

"You can do it civilly or we can force you to say it." Rin added in. The ex gulped as the taller boys sent daggers his way.

"Spit it out, dumbass." Barou demanded.

"Shouldn't we wait for the rest?" (Y/n) questioned Bachira as his hold on her arm tightened.

"Nah~ they will join us soon, anyways!"

[embracing-the-ineffable]

Breaking the Silence, posted by Neil Gaiman at 10:20 AM (1/14/25)

I haven't had a chance to process this yet, but NG has posted on his website:

Text below the cut if you don't want to follow the link (And a reminder to everyone, please be radically fucking kind to everyone as they process this in their own ways):

"Over the past many months, I have watched the stories circulating the internet about me with horror and dismay. I’ve stayed quiet until now, both out of respect for the people who were sharing their stories and out of a desire not to draw even more attention to a lot of misinformation. I've always tried to be a private person, and felt increasingly that social media was the wrong place to talk about important personal matters. I've now reached the point where I feel that I should say something.

As I read through this latest collection of accounts, there are moments I half-recognise and moments I don’t, descriptions of things that happened sitting beside things that emphatically did not happen. I’m far from a perfect person, but I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone. Ever. 

I went back to read the messages I exchanged with the women around and following the occasions that have subsequently been reported as being abusive. These messages read now as they did when I received them – of two people enjoying entirely consensual sexual relationships and wanting to see one another again. At the time I was in those relationships, they seemed positive and happy on both sides.

And I also realise, looking through them, years later, that I could have and should have done so much better. I was emotionally unavailable while being sexually available, self-focused and not as thoughtful as I could or should have been. I was obviously careless with people's hearts and feelings, and that's something that I really, deeply regret. It was selfish of me. I was caught up in my own story and I ignored other people's.

I’ve spent some months now taking a long, hard look at who I have been and how I have made people feel. 

Like most of us, I’m learning, and I'm trying to do the work needed, and I know that that's not an overnight process. I hope that with the help of good people, I'll continue to grow. I understand that not everyone will believe me or even care what I say but I’ll be doing the work anyway, for myself, my family and the people I love. I will be doing my very best to deserve their trust, as well as the trust of my readers.

At the same time, as I reflect on my past – and as I re-review everything that actually happened as opposed to what is being alleged – I don't accept there was any abuse. To repeat, I have never engaged in non-consensual sexual activity with anyone.

Some of the horrible stories now being told simply never happened, while others have been so distorted from what actually took place that they bear no relationship to reality. I am prepared to take responsibility for any missteps I made. I’m not willing to turn my back on the truth, and I can't accept being described as someone I am not, and cannot and will not admit to doing things I didn't do."

Here's information about yesterday's article, which he's responding to:

And another reminder to everyone, please be radically fucking kind to everyone as they process this in their own ways.

[anamazingangie]

i thought you ought to know | Rupert x Taggie

Rated M | 6.5k words | Complete! | by  AmazingAngie

Tags: fluff, all comfort no hurt, breeding kink, daddy kink, spanking, married life, older man/younger woman, making your husband a daddy in more ways than one

Summary:

"This is  my  wife, Taggie Campbell-Black.”  She would never tire of hearing that, especially when Rupert said it with so much pride.  It wasn’t uncommon for them to get the response, “My god, I thought she was your daughter!”  But Taggie never tired of that, either, even if she probably should. It was hardly an insult, to be thought related by blood to a man like Rupert.  (Though, being related by marriage almost felt more special, because he had chosen her in a way you couldn’t choose a child.) . or; Rupert takes far better care of her than her actual father ever did, so it's no wonder that Taggie, on occasion, pretends Rupert is more than just her husband. 

Excerpt:

"You’re an angel, darling. All the more so, when I’m such a devil.”  He meant the words in jest, but they didn’t come out that way. He was still too concerned with corrupting her, even if they both enjoyed her corruption a great deal.  “Rupert,” she said, tugging on his tie and forcing him to look at her, “I may be an angel in your eyes, but you are hardly a devil in mine.”  Maybe he expected her to make a joke, but she was quite serious when she said, “You’re my wings,” she said with a smile.  Sometimes, he really did make her feel like she could do anything, maybe even that she could fly.  But he made her so happy, that she had no desire to fly away. 

the snow is snowing and the wind it is blowing

.

They had gotten married in spring, just a handful of weeks after her birthday. It was a small ceremony, in a meadow, with a few dozen guests they could trust not to leak details to the press.

There was no debauchery on that day worth reporting, really, but they wanted it to be private since it was a luxury rarely found in Rupert's life.

Though they had agreed that their love would be public — in part because of their mutual insecurity, but also because of Rupert’s possessiveness, and his inability to keep his hands to himself. 

(Which, to be fair, Taggie also struggled to do.)

.

but I can weather the storm

.

Taggie hadn’t expected a lot of support regarding their nuptials, because Taggie never expected much support for any decision she made. 

A stupid girl could hardly make smart decisions, after all. 

She had been told that often enough to question herself constantly, often looking to those around her for guidance, because her sister and brother were so clever, especially compared to her. 

Of course, their opinion was better and more trustworthy than her own. It had to be.

Or, at the very least, they were more confident in their opinions. 

(Then again, it didn’t take much confidence to be ' more confident' than Agatha O’Hara…at least until she met Rupert Campbell-Black.) 

.

what do I care how much it may storm

.

There were a thousand reasons she shouldn’t trust Rupert, at least on paper. 

Her sister had told her that when she found out about the engagement.

Taggie had laughed because it was probably true, but she simply responded, “Good thing that I can’t read them,” and hung up. 

She had never hung up on her sister before. Or anyone, even. 

She was always polite to a fault.

But for the first time in her life, she didn’t care what her sister thought, because she was confident her sister was wrong. 

Because the only thing Taggie had ever been confident about in her entire life was : 

She loved Rupert Campbell-Black. 

And the only time she hadn’t questioned what she was doing or saying was when he asked her to marry him. 

The answer had been so obvious, and she had been so certain, and so happy. 

(Of course, she said yes.) 

.

i've got my love to keep me warm

.

It didn’t matter that everyone else thought she was setting herself up for heartbreak. 

Maybe she was. Maybe he would grow bored and leave her. Maybe he would become cruel. 

Maybe. 

It was a risk she was willing to take because she had already lived the reality that was life without him and it was agonizing. If their marriage was just a brief reprieve from that, a plaster on her heart that beat only for him, then it was better than nothing. 

“You don’t understand,” she told her siblings, fiddling with the tea towel in her lap to hide her frustration, “He makes me feel like I can do anything. Because if a man like him loves me, then surely anything is possible.” 

She swallowed, looking down at her fingers, “He makes me feel safe. Not the way a security system does, it's more than that. It feels like...nothing can hurt me when I’m with him, not the world, not myself, nothing. When he looks at me, when he holds me, I know everything will be okay.” 

For someone with near-crippling anxiety, there was no sweeter feeling than a safe haven that made all those thoughts ebb away, and nothing had ever given her that sort of relief, except for Rupert.

“He can’t protect you from himself, Taggie. He could hurt you.” Patrick said softly. 

Caitlin was frowning, “Patrick is right, and you talk about him like he is your father, not your fiancé. It freaks me out.” 

Declan, who had been ignoring them from his seat at the table, snorted, snidely commenting that, “He is certainly old enough to be, imagine how I feel.”

Taggie grit her teeth, wanting to scream that this wasn’t about him, or anyone else. It was about her, and maybe he should think about how his sniping made her feel. 

The thought was selfish enough that in the past she might have cried and apologized just for it crossing her mind. 

But a single week of being with Rupert had changed her, and she could practically hear him whispering in her ear, asking ‘How does that feel, darling?’ while his fingers curled inside of her, ‘You’re such a good girl, Taggie, let me make you feel good.’ 

He was the only one who ever cared about how she felt, much less making her feel good about herself. Taggie didn’t associate those things with a father figure at all, she just associated them with Rupert. 

Maybe Caitlin was right and she did talk about Rupert like he was a parent in addition to a partner. But she would never talk about their parents like that. Neither of them had been much of a safe haven to her, in fact, they were often quite the opposite. 

So she just sighed, “Maybe I do.” 

(Maybe she needed a father figure as badly as she needed a husband.) 

.

.

.

“For fucks sake, you look more like her father than her groom,” Bas said with a laugh as he looked over the prints from their wedding. 

Rupert glared, “I’ve heard enough of that from Declan, my father-in-law, thanks.” 

“It isn’t your age that makes me say so,” Bas said, lifting a photo from the reception, in which Rupert’s eyes were narrowed at the cameraman, his hand on Taggie’s waist, while she was turned to speak with Ricky. 

“You look at her like she is an angel, and you look at everyone else as if they want to corrupt her. Or steal her, I suppose, and you have to be constantly on guard to protect her virtue.” 

Rupert snorted, he’d well and truly stripped Taggie of that, both before they married and after.  

He hadn’t even waited for the honeymoon to do it, either. 

He hadn’t even waited until the reception , he thought with a grin. 

Her rosy cheeks, glow of happiness, and ruddy lips had nothing to do with touching up her makeup, even if that was the excuse she gave to slip away after the ceremony. 

“She is an angel,” Rupert said, “And of course people want to steal her. Every man she speaks to falls in love.” 

Bas laughed but didn’t disagree, “Quite like you with women, no?” 

Rupert’s mouth opened, then closed, finally stumbling out the poor come back of, “Some men, too,” which made his friend chuckle. 

“What a match you make, inciting so much lust and love wherever you go that you constantly feel undeserving of each other,” Bas dropped the photo and took a seat across Rupert, “My point still stands, though.” 

He took a long sip of his drink and crossed his legs, “Is that not how a father feels for their daughter? That sort of adoration for a girl is so great that you assume everyone feels it too. The sort that makes you spoil them rotten and leaves you fearful that one day they will grow up and find someone they love more than you.” 

He frowned, thinking about it. His actual daughter, Tabitha, was the complete opposite of Taggie in nearly every way — their shared commonality being him and the fact they were both great beauties.

Though he supposed there were some parallels in how he categorized them in his mind. 

(Perhaps it wasn’t a terrible thing, he had been a much better father to her than he had been a husband to her mother.)

.

The words lingered in his mind the following day as he sat beside his wife in the stands, his arm protectively curled around her waist. 

He watched the way people watched his daughter as she rode through the course, in awe over her talents and good looks, despite being too young to be a prospect in any way. She would be a menace when she got older, though, and started looking back, and he dreaded that day.

But he loved her, too, and he would do anything to protect her. But he didn’t feel this… need to protect her the way he did with Taggie. 

Tabitha, having had him as her father, had no qualms about talking back and speaking up for herself, assuming that her opinion was always the right one, just as he so often did.

She had an awareness of her talents and beauty, and the fact these were perceived by others. She knew her worth and she would curse out anyone who treated her as anything less than what she perceived that worth to be.

But Taggie wasn’t like that. She was talented and beautiful, and completely unaware of it.

Maybe they were both lambs being circled by wolves, but where Tabitha would fight them off with her hooves, Taggie would probably apologize for being so unappetizing, her dying bleat saying how she hoped they found a better meal and didn’t go hungry that day. 

Taggie needed him in a way his actual daughter never had. 

Rupert was used to being wanted, but never needed. There was a stark difference. 

(Maybe he needed someone who needed him, too.) 

.

i cannot remember the worst December

.

The timeline was…suspicious in many people's minds, and rumors of teenage pregnancy and entrapment ran rampant through Rutshire. 

Even The Scorpion speculated as much as they legally could without setting themselves up for a lawsuit, which was something Rupert would have been happy to funnel his riches into. 

The whispers followed Taggie when she went shopping, the leading comments from the cashier asking if she had any, ‘unique cravings’ recently, while holding up the jar of pickled onions. 

Rupert’s response to this was buying her a wardrobe of summer dresses, ones with fitted bodices that showed off her tiny waist — and often a bit of cleavage, too, which he claimed hadn’t occurred to him at all. 

(Rupert would never admit it, but he wished the rumors were true. He would happily trap Taggie in such a way, if she hadn’t chosen to stay on her birth control.)

.

just watch those icicles form

.

“I just want them to know you married me for love,” she had told him and he could understand that even if he didn’t like that. 

To him, it was so obvious he loved her, and he had finally convinced her of that, he had no desire to waste time convincing others, too. 

But he had seen her parents’ disapproving looks and heard the skepticism around town. They didn’t have anything to prove, but it would make Taggie’s life easier if they did. 

“Until then,” Taggie said softly, “We should practice a lot.” 

(Taggie had never scored well on a test, but Rupert gave her high marks when it came to their sex life.)

.

.

.

When the tell-all article came out a month after they married, he was…god, he had never been so angry, so devastated, and so disappointed in himself. 

His dirty laundry had been spread across The Scorpion, spanning eight pages and linking him to dozens of women. It spoke at length about how he had fucked his way through just about every city he stayed in and every party he went to—including ‘the political party’ given that his leg up came from getting his leg over  a ‘woman of great influence’ so now people were speculating he fucked Margaret Thatcher. 

They outlined drug-fueled orgies, the fact he had sex before and after every competition with whatever groom took his fancy, that he celebrated his twenty-first birthday by sticking himself in twenty-one different women, among countless other sordid stories which padded out the pages.

They weren’t really stories, though, because it was all true.

He had proudly recounted the vast majority of it to Beatie Johnson, delighted to share his promiscuous past. 

That had been just a handful of months before he met Taggie, and god, so much had changed between then and now. 

Before the articles came out, he had been delighted by his monogamous future with her, but now he was haunted by his past inability to keep it in his pants. 

Taggie, the fucking angel she was, was surprisingly non-pulsed. 

“I knew you had a past,” she said softly, “It didn’t change the fact I loved you and wanted to marry you. Those actions…and women…they are part of the patchwork quilt of your life, not my favorite parts, but without them, you wouldn’t keep me nearly as warm at night.” 

She pressed kisses to his damp cheeks.

“I don’t love you because I think you’re perfect, Rupert. I love you because you’re you. There is no other man I could love the way I love you, and your past cannot change my feelings in the present.” 

Now it was his turn to kiss her. 

God, he loved her so much and he hoped like fucking hell that was true, and that this angel would stay no matter how devilishly he had behaved in the past. 

He almost wanted to say a prayer, but he chose to worship her instead. 

(There was a difference between being loved and being loved unconditionally. The first was expected from one’s spouse — the other was expected from one’s parents. But both Taggie and Rupert had been denied both …until they met each other.) 

.

what do I care if icicles form

.

His political career was over, though he found it hard to be sad about that, especially when Taggie sweetly reminded him it would give him more time with the horses. 

And, more time in bed with her, too. 

She was optimistic, and truly seemed unbothered by the revelations, not that she had read all of them. She insisted she was only concerned with the man he was now and how he treated her. 

She was the only one who seemed to feel that way, though. 

She sighed at the headline, Campbell Conquest says: ‘he took all my confidence when he left me’ and Rupert reached out to flip it around. 

Then, catching sight of the one below it, Rupert Campbell-Black insists he has moved on from a sordid past, and claims his teenage bride has ‘changed him.’

The wedding photo they used on the cover was sweet, at least. If you ignored the dig at Taggie’s age. She was nineteen for fucks sake. 

Barely nineteen, but still. 

“It’s fine,” she said, tangling her fingers with his when he reached for the magazine rack again, “You have changed,” Taggie said so genuinely he believed it. 

He did, truly, but given his track record and his friendships with men made similar statements while financing a half-dozen mistresses, left him painfully aware of how little the words meant. 

Your words don’t matter nearly as much as your actions , Taggie had told him a dozen times. 

She had taken to telling that to his daughter, too, like she was trying to make them all better.

(Tabitha had taken to responding with, “You would say that, you can’t read!”)

.

i've got my love to keep me warm

.

The pitying looks she got made him feel sick, eyes searching for cracks in the marriage that they were now, more than ever, certain was doomed for failure. 

They would prove them wrong. 

It made him cling to Taggie all the tighter, afraid the sympathy would guide her to a realization that ended with her leaving him . 

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her. It was quite the opposite. He thought so highly of her, that it seemed like just a matter of time until she came to her senses. It wasn’t like she would be lacking options, everyone loved her, truly. 

His possessiveness only worsened the rumors. People thought him controlling or even abusive.

(Only half those bruises were his fault, and Taggie had damn well enjoyed the act that led to them.)

.

so I will weather the storm

.

Taggie was forced to bear the worst of the gossip at the end-of-term recital that Marcus was performing in. Hiding in a bathroom stall during intermission she bit her lip and waited for the trio to leave. 

“Did you see them come in? It’s creepy how he never lets go of her.” 

Taggie loved how he never let go of her. 

She didn’t like parties or strangers and clung to his arm out of anxiety as much as desire. She found it comforting how he returned this grip several times over, fearing she would slip away. 

It made her feel confident he wanted her there as much as she wanted to be there.

And god, the pride in his voice when he introduced her to people. The little smile he saved just for her, almost gloating as he said, “This is my wife, Taggie Campbell-Black.” 

It wasn’t uncommon for them to get the response, “My god, I thought she was your daughter!” usually said in good humor. 

Taggie didn’t mind that either, even if she probably should. It was hardly an insult, to be thought related by blood to a man like Rupert. 

(Though, being related by marriage almost felt more special, because he had chosen her in a way you couldn’t choose a child.)

.

what do I care how much it may storm

.

“He has always been so…dismissive with his partners, and then there is her, who he constantly babysits!” 

“Maybe he misses his children, it would explain the child bride.” 

“Fuck, you are so right. He must see her as a kid rather than a woman. That is why he is so loyal and protective, he probably isn’t even attracted to her.” 

“That makes more sense, I mean, really, she is so meek—I can’t fathom why else he would be with her.” 

“When his daddy era is over I’m going to try my hand again. I miss his cock.” 

Taggie winced, waiting until the women left before leaving the stall. 

She knew they were wrong, but it still hurt. 

She was used to people having doubts, but they were usually directed at Rupert’s past that had recently been dredged up, not her potential failings as a partner. 

She wasn’t a child, she told herself as she returned to her seat, playing with her wedding ring while she waited for Rupert to return.

He smelled like cigarettes and mint, not what she would classify as pleasant out of context, but the scent of him, no matter how smokey or sweaty, was so familiar and comforting that it felt like a warm blanket on a cold day. 

She took deep breaths, determined not to cry. It didn’t matter what Sarah said. It didn’t matter that Helen was glaring at her, along with just about every other woman in the audience. 

They saw her as an inconvenient barrier in the way of seducing the most attractive man in the room. 

God, she just wanted to crawl into his lap, to rest her head on his chest and breathe in the fading scent of cologne on his collar. 

Maybe she was a child.

She bit down on her lip, hard, grateful when the lights dimmed and her tears were hidden. She had forty minutes to compose herself now, she could do that much — even a child was capable of that. 

She was so focused on this task that she startled when Rupert’s fingers tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, which was just a ploy to cup her neck and pull her closer to him. It wasn’t quite a kiss, but it was hardly appropriate, either. 

“How do they expect me to concentrate on anything but you?” Rupert muttered, “A whole fucking orchestra and it doesn’t sound half as pretty as your moans.” 

Her cheeks felt warm, growing hotter when someone loudly hushed them. 

Rupert sighed, letting go of her neck, and settling his hand on her thigh instead. 

Those women were just jealous, she reminded herself, attraction clearly wasn’t an issue in their marriage. 

(He was too fucking attracted to her, that was the issue in their marriage.)

.

off with my overcoat off with my gloves

.

Rupert laughed, “Fuck, she really said that?” 

Taggie nodded, feeling far more at ease after riding him in the backseat of the car, neither of them wanting to wait until they got home. 

Sometimes, she mused, a hard fuck was all one needed to see things clearly again.  

She hoped his driver hadn't seen much, though. God knows how she would ever look him in the eye again if he had.

“My daddy era,” he spat, “That feels like an insult.” 

“It probably was,” she agreed, “But I don’t see it like that — you’re a good dad, you’re good at taking care of me, there isn’t anything shameful about that.” 

Not to her at least, god, she hoped she wasn’t some freak for thinking so.

“It’s a bigger insult to me,” she said with a frown, “That I’m an incompetent little girl.” 

Rupert laughed, tugging on her hair until her head tipped back, “Mm, but there is nothing shameful about that, either. If what you said is true, you’re my little girl, and sometimes you need guidance, as all girls your age do.” 

She shivered, feeling butterflies in her belly along with the familiar arousal that always pooled there when Rupert was present. 

“You like that, don’t you?” He mused, sounding surprised. 

She shook her head a little too quickly, if that wasn’t a giveaway than the blood pooling in her cheeks surely was. 

(It was a good thing that he liked it, too.)

.

who needs an overcoat I'm burning with love

.

It had only been a few months, but Rupert liked to think he could read his wife well enough to know what she liked. 

Sometimes even before she realized what she liked. 

And he guided her towards it, as he supposed fathers did with their children, shepherding them towards their interests and a bright future.

With Taggie, those interests just happened to coincide with sex. 

And as often as they explored those interests, they had never taken on roles, never cried out a name other than what they were called by their typical acquaintances. 

This was different and he had to tread lightly. 

“Don’t lie, Taggie, I’d hate to have to punish my sweet girl.” 

She shivered, “I—I’m not…” 

Her eyes were closed now, unable to even meet his. 

“Are you sure? Or are you just lying again because you want to be punished?” 

She shook her head, but her breathing had changed, and her hips squirmed.

“Maybe you’d like being punished, too.” He mused, carding his fingers through her hair, “That is what fathers do, don’t they? When they care, they make sure there are consequences, so their daughters are well-behaved.” 

Taggie nodded and then, “I— myfatherdidn’t,” spilled out. 

“That’s because you’re so good, he didn’t think he needed to,” he paused, “And you had to be good, to be loved, didn’t you?” 

She nodded.

“You know I’ll love you no matter what, don’t you? Even if you’re bad. Even if you lie. And I love you enough to punish you, too.” 

(When her sister was worried Rupert would hurt her, she probably didn’t mean like this.) 

.

my heart's on fire and the flame grows higher

.

He had such nice hands, Taggie had noticed that on their second meeting, and hated herself because of it, still fancying herself in love with Ralphie. 

Rupert had nice everything, really, though she hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that at the time, either. 

Now she could scarcely stop acknowledging it, even getting aroused on car trips simply from watching his fingers grip the wheel of his Aston Martin. 

His every action and gesture held so much confidence. He never stopped to question himself, and sometimes that was to his detriment, but she thrived in his company. He was such a force of nature that his attitude flowed over his surroundings, over her, and it made her feel brave and confident, too. 

And aroused. 

God, she had never thought herself a wanton person, but Rupert seemed to radiate sex in a way that made him irresistible. Somehow her inhibitions melted away under his touch, and her response was immediate and instinctual in a way that was entirely beyond her control. 

It was terrifying, having her desires be discovered by someone else and trying to process them while feeling so much pleasure. 

But it was refreshing, too, because her body reacted before her brain could, she wasn’t responsible for her reaction, and that made any humiliation ebb away — allowing her to enjoy things she would have been far too embarrassed to ever suggest. 

She never would have suggested this. No matter how nice his fingers were, she had never imagined them there, stroking her in a place that not even she had touched. 

She had certainly never imagined his palm coming down on her bare rear, making her gasp and arch against his grip while she stayed spread over his lap. 

She flinched when his fingers smoothed over the stinging cheek, expecting another slap, dreading it, yet almost disappointed when it didn’t come. 

“How about we do ten, and by the end, we’ll see if you’re willing to tell the truth.” 

Each one hurt more than the last, the ache building and building until her ass throbbed, but it was good, too, he is doing this because he cares. Because he wants me to be honest about my feelings. Because he wants me to be good. Good girls don’t lie. 

The thoughts were jumbled, not fully logical but making perfect sense in the hazy moment where pleasure and pain coincided. 

“Do you like the idea of being my little girl, Taggie? Do you like the idea of me being your daddy, taking care of you like this and as a husband?” 

The word came as easily as it did when he proposed, “ Yes,” she mumbled against the quilt that was still stretched atop the bed. 

“Does my little girl want to be fucked?” He asked, his hand stroking her inner thigh.

“Please,” she begged. 

“By who?” He sounded amused and perfectly composed, a sharp contrast to her desperate words laced with such obvious desire. 

“You — just — you, Rupert, Daddy, please.” 

It should have felt wrong, or cheesy, or embarrassing, but it didn’t. It sounded right, it felt right. 

“There is my good girl, asking so nicely, of course I’ll fuck you.” 

(It felt so good.) 

.

i thought you ought to know my heart's on fire

.

It wasn’t a kink of his — at least it wasn’t before Taggie. 

But he liked it a lot. More than he probably should have. 

She sounded so desperate, so pitiful, so overwhelmed as she writhed beneath him, her voice mere gasps of ‘please’ and ‘more’ so frustrated by him taking his time, showing a rare bit of patience and drawing out her agony and pleasure. 

And his agony and pleasure, too, because fuck knows his cock was so hard it hurt. 

But that would make the orgasm feel all the better. 

“You have to let me take care of you,” he admonished, making her whine. 

He loved her like this, so desperate, looking like that innocent girl he met a year ago, and so very young, yet begging for his cock and her orgasm like she would die if he didn’t give it to her. 

She was so fucking selfless in life, which made her greed for orgasms in bed all the more delightful. 

“Please,” she mumbled, “Need you inside of me.” 

He curled the fingers buried in her cunt and she wailed, “I am inside of you, darling.” 

“Noooo, I–I–need your c-cock, please, I’ll be good, please,” she sniffled, “Don’t be mean, be nice, Dad— please. You said you would!” 

“I did, didn’t I? But I didn’t say when,” he really was being mean, but she was so gorgeous like this. 

“Now,” she pleaded, “Need it now, Daddy, please,” the word came more frequently the further gone she got, like when she was stripped down to this raw state, it was what came to mind first—how she saw him before anything else, not that she had permission to vocalize it. 

He supposed she likely had seen him as such a figure before he became her lover and then husband. He had certainly tried to see her as a daughter for months before acting upon his feelings. 

He may have failed to see her as that — or to see her as only that, rather, because having her as just his daughter wasn’t enough, even if she played the part of one when with his children. 

And played it so well even the waitstaff got confused when they went out for meals. 

He didn’t dislike the idea, not anymore, not when he got to have her as his wife, too. 

(He got to have all of her, she was his .) 

.

the flames, they just leap higher

.

The word slipped out often. Too often. Especially when Tabitha was around. At least then, Taggie could claim it was for the children’s benefit. 

Thank god no one ever questioned her flushed cheeks when she stuttered out that excuse. 

Rupert always gave her a look, though, because he knew, and when the children weren’t looking, he’d pull her into her arms — tell her that she was his favorite, because she was so well-behaved. 

“Tabitha is a fucking nightmare, but you’re a dream, darling.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh, because she knew he adored Tabitha too — and he loved Marcus, too, even if he did a very poor job of showing it — but they were exhausting at the best of times, and according to his words, she was perfect. 

“Best fucking thing that ever happened to me.” 

(She felt exactly the same way about him.)

.

.

.

He was so lucky to have met Taggie. 

He was so lucky to have married Taggie. 

He loved her long before he had any idea how she would be in bed, and he was pretty sure there was no sex bad enough to discourage him from being with her, because she was so good in every other way. 

But fuck, he was grateful she was good at this, too. 

As in, genuinely, the best fuck he’d ever had, and he had a lot of experience. 

Maybe it was because he loved her. 

Maybe it was because she was half his age. 

Maybe it was because she was so responsive. 

Maybe it was because she was so fucking tight. 

Maybe it was because she whimpered the word ‘Daddy’ like a prayer when she came. 

(Maybe it was all of those things and more.)

.

so I will weather the storm

.

He was grumpy the day he turned thirty-nine, feeling very old, all the more so by the nineteen-year-old in bed beside him. 

She had her whole life ahead of her, but he had been too selfish to let her live it without him. 

If there was a god, they would probably never forgive him. But that was alright, his life with Taggie was heavenly, whatever came after, no matter how hellish, didn’t matter. 

She tried to cheer him up, making him breakfast and insisting on delivering it to him while he was in bed — while she was wearing nothing but a cotton apron. 

The following fuck left them sticky, maple syrup being drizzled and licked off of ill-advised places, but the orgasm was worth it. 

“Was that my present?” He asked, and he would be perfectly content if it was. 

Taggie bit her lip and shook her head, “No–I couldn’t think of what to get you, when you have so much, so instead, I got rid of something instead.” 

Maybe his memory was going in his old age, but he didn’t quite understand, and the fact she looked nervous was not helping things. 

“What did you get rid of?” He asked, very slowly.

“My birth control,” she said plainly. 

He froze. 

“Do you mean it?” He asked, not wanting to sound too hopeful. 

She nodded, but looked more nervous now, “You want that, right? I can get them back out—they are just in the tras—” 

He rolled them,  “ Don’t you fucking dare,” he growled, feeling his arousal flare again at the prospect of knocking her up. 

She knew he wanted that more than anything, and had been trying not to pressure her while vying for it since before they even married. 

If someone asked him a year or two ago if he wanted more children, he would have said no. 

But Taggie was such a natural-born caretaker, she would be such a good mother, and he wanted to make her one. 

And, a possessive part of him, wanted to see her pregnant. He wanted everyone to see her pregnant with his child, because she was his wife, and she was so much more than that too. 

“I fucking love you,” he muttered against her lips. 

(Since ‘actions speak louder than words,’ he made love to her, too.)

.

how do I care how much it storms

.

Their first Christmas together felt like a test — both the day of, and the parties that came before and after it. 

It had been six months since Beattie released the dreaded article, and even longer since they married. 

They had survived Rupert’s thirty-ninth birthday, and his…response to her ‘gift’ had given her confidence that he would like this one too. 

Because the truth was, she was already pregnant.

She hadn’t taken a pill in nearly three months but didn’t want to get his hopes up, knowing it could take a while for it to leave her system. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she said, when she saw the boxes under the tree. 

He scoffed, “Of course I did.” 

This was it.

“You didn’t, really, you already gave me the best present.” 

His brow rose, and she was impressed by the restraint he showed in not saying, ‘my cock?’ 

“You gave me a baby,” she said softly, hand moving to her stomach. 

He looked stunned. 

And then he smiled. 

“Going to make you a dad for real,” she said softly, then adding, “Again,” since she could never forget Tabitha and Marcus. 

“Can’t fucking wait for it,” he said, pulling her into his lap, “You’ll be the best mother, god, can’t believe my little girl is giving me a baby,” he purred. 

She squirmed, feeling the heat build in her pelvis. 

“I’ll still be your little girl, though, won’t I?” She asked, hating how insecure she sounded. 

The look he gave her was adoring as anything, “Of course you will be, Taggie.” 

And he’d still be her daddy . 

But—

“Will I still be your favorite?” She asked, feeling ashamed for asking but needing reassurance.

“Always,” he promised, “My favorite girl, my favorite wife, my favorite fuck, my favorite person on this fucking earth.” 

(It was not lost on Taggie that he said favorite person, she knew better than to ask where she placed amongst the hounds and horses.)

.

i've got my love

.

People knew right away. They couldn’t tell from how she looked — the red velvet clung to her waist that was tiny as ever, the little bump barely visible even when she was nude — but the way she refused drinks could only mean one thing. 

The congratulations were plentiful, if not particularly genuine. 

He heard the, ‘that poor girl,’ muttered, and got sympathetic, ‘sorry your young wife is going to get fat,’ slaps on the back from other men, both of which he found equally offensive. 

Taggie was glowing, though, she couldn’t stop smiling, even with the stressors of the party and holiday. 

“I got everything I wanted this year, you know,” she told him that night, “I have you and I’m having your baby.” 

(He had her, and he made her happy, and that was all he wanted, too.)

.

to keep me warm

.

“Fatherhood suits him,” Sarah said longingly, her bleary eyes focused on Rupert while she sipped her fifth drink of the evening.

Though Taggie usually appreciated her husband earning such compliments, because he deserved them, Sarah’s attempt to ‘nurse him’ while Taggie fed Matthew in one of the spare bedrooms was not something Taggie would forgive or forget any time soon, even if Rupert had turned her down quite emphatically and publicly. 

“It does,” Taggie agreed, “He is the best daddy,” she said, drawing the word out and leveling a glare in Sarah’s direction, because she hadn't forgotten her words from last year, either.

“He will always be that to me, so try your hand at something else. And keep your tits to yourself, too.” 

Rupert moved towards them, and baby Matthew reached for her, bouncing in his father’s arms while looking delighted to be reunited with his mother, “How is my favorite girl?” He asked, greeting her with a devastating grin and a lengthy kiss.

“Tired. Happy. Hopelessly in love. And horny, too," she told him, when her lips were freed from his. 

He laughed, “So the usual, then.” 

She nodded, “You’ve turned me into a monster.” 

He shook his head, “I think you mean mother, though some are one and the same.” He frowned in the direction of her mother, Maud, who was hanging off some stranger's arm, while Declan looked on with an expression of exasperation heavy on his face. 

“Not you, though,” he reassured her, “You’re an angel, darling. All the more so, when I’m such a devil.” 

He meant the words in jest, but they didn’t come out that way. He was still too concerned with corrupting her, even if they both enjoyed her corruption a great deal. 

He had been especially whiny on his fortieth birthday, going on about how she was ‘wasting her life with an old man’ until Bas called him a, ‘fucking idiot wasting a day moping when he could be fucking his gorgeous wife who is half your fucking age’ which was a bit crass, but something Taggie very much agreed with. 

“Rupert,” she said, tugging on his tie and forcing him to look at her, “I may be an angel in your eyes, but you are hardly a devil in mine.” 

Maybe he expected her to make a joke, but she was quite serious when she said, “You’re my wings,” she said with a smile. 

Sometimes, he really did make her feel like she could do anything, maybe even that she could fly. 

But he made her so happy, that she had no desire to fly away. 

.

i've got my love to keep me warm

.

[wayfayrr]

haiiiii can i get uhhhh... spiked latte with Peppermint brittle to take away :3 yan! sky fics are not a want they are a NEED- MOSS HELP ME PLEASE---

order up!! hope it's to your tastes <3

well @sketchyspook - I've got your yan sky here for you with him being a manipulative pos for reader while keeping up his soft facade so they can't really question it :D

[Event masterlist]

“I still can’t believe that link, I mean of all people to fall in love with, you chose the person who was playing through your game? You could have been with a literal reincarnation of your goddess. ”

“You know none of the others were real right? I’m the only one who was alive… as far as I’m aware or care.”

“Still, I can’t believe you don’t resent me even a little bit. I made you re-live your quest so many times and I didn’t even know you were alive.” 

All I get in return for that is a playful eye roll like I’d told him a dumb joke rather than confessing how awfully I treated him when he was trapped. It’s rather unnerving how calm he is about all of this, but I really shouldn’t push it any more. I don’t think it would be a pleasant mess to clean up if he snapped and did realise everything he’s been through wasn’t right. 

“Can’t this wait until the morning love? We’ve both been through a lot today so we should get some rest right?”

He’s still insisting on calling me that? I do like it, my childhood crush speaking to me like I’m his lover, but something about it seems so wrong.

“Sure, right, fine. I’ve got a guest room and some spare pyjamas you can borrow link.”

“Thank you [name].”

The feeling of something being off with his attitude only grows as he gently grabs my hand while I’m showing him where he can stay. He’s too possessive about this, too happy, even for getting out of a hellscape that his game must’ve been for him, it’s unnerving. My guest room is small and simple with a bed, a small desk and a wardrobe, all in all somewhat reminiscent of his old dorm room. But it should be more than enough for him. 

“There should be some spare clothes in the cupboard, my friends tend to just leave them here for whenever they visit.” 

“And they’ll be fine with me just using them?”

“They don’t need to know, I’ll wash them tomorrow when we go out to get you some of your own. Goodnight link.”

“Sleep well, love.”

He shouldn’t need my help changing, so I’m confident in leaving him in here while I go shower and settle down for the night too. 

Having a hot shower works wonders for clearing your head, a good night’s rest should help to put everything regarding link into focus. 

“Hey.”

“Huh? I thought you said you liked the other room? What made you want to sneak into mine?”

“I tried to sleep, but being in there on my own? I was scared I would wake up back in skyloft without you.”

Turning him away if this is true would simply be cruel to him, it doesn’t help the feeling from earlier crawling back though. That he’s possessive, unhealthily so, but I have to brush it off. Maybe I’m just overthinking, maybe he’s just getting used to being real still. It could be any reason like that.

“Move over so that I can get in as well then.”

“You- you’re really not going to ask me to leave my dove? I know theirs a reason I fell for your kindness… I’ll never let anyone else come close to having you like this.”

“What was that?”

“I said you’re not going to ask me to leave and go back to the other room alone?”

Okay, there is definitely something deeply wrong with him if what I think I heard is what he really said. He’s not going too like me questioning him though, and I don’t exactly have the energy for it either. Which I think he can tell, his arms are so warm and welcoming though, it’d be torture to peel myself out of them. Drifting off to sleep where he wants me is just the natural result of how comfortable he is. 

“See [name], Isn’t it just so nice to be my lover? Wouldn’t you prefer for it to just be me and you like this forever?”

I’m not even awake enough to respond, instead closing my eyes and sighing against him. 

“I knew you would… don’t worry my dove, you’ll never leave my side again. No matter what.”

Ending that haunting sentence with a kiss to my neck and a gentle hum, seemingly more content than he’s ever been. Just from holding me in his arms as we both drift into a deep sleep. 

[lieslab]

If I am killed simply for living, let death be kinder than man

꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎ ꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎

Pairing: Changbin X gn reader

Summary: You're a ruthless mafia leader, but when you fall for Changbin, you force yourself to let go.

Genre: Angst without a happy ending

Word Count: 1.9K

Trigger warning: Blood and gore.

_ _ _

He didn’t know it yet, but every step was a step closer to his doom. Behind you, Changbin’s fingers curled around yours. With a pep in each step, he happily chatted, unaware of the growing tension in your heart. Every heartstring was about to snap and no matter how much it’d kill you, it had to be done. 

He was a fly stuck in your web and spiders never cared for bugs. They wrap them and silk and sink their venom into them. As a fly buzzes and begs for mercy in its own way, it’s never granted. At the end of the day, spiders have to eat too. 

You were so gullible and so stupid. When Changbin asked you out on a date, you should have said no. You should have stuck to your guns and told him you weren’t interested. Perhaps, you weren’t as strong as you once thought you were. 

Doing this, this was a coward’s way out of the chaos you created, but what other choice did you have? You were too selfish to truly cut ties and after all these months, you knew Changbin. You knew how he’d go to the ends of the earth to discover the truth and you couldn’t have it. 

You wouldn’t idly stand by and watch him learn the truth of your world. You wouldn’t corrupt him and throw him to the wolves. You were living in a dangerous world and playing a dangerous game. The only way to truly escape it was death. He’d already been involved too far now. 

Enemies were starting to take notice of the man you had been spending more and more time with. You were doing this out of what little kindness was left in your heart. You were doing this because there was no other way out, but through. 

Behind you, Changbin remained unaware. A grin appeared on his rounded face and he lightly swung your hand back and forth as he guessed what you picked for your date night. That’s what you called it. Date night was easier than what it really was. 

“Is it a picnic at a park? You mentioned that you wanted to do that once. Oh! I bet you made cute little finger sandwiches and you cut up fruit into fun shapes!” 

“Good guess,” your voice rang hollow, “but no.” 

“Really? Hmm.” He frowned and cocked his head. It took a moment, but his face lit up again. “Oh, I know! What about an arcade? I think it was last week that I mentioned how much I like-” 

“Nope.” 

He sighed and continued after you. “You’re making this really tricky for me. Can you give me a hint? Is this taking place inside or outside?” 

You forced yourself to swallow the growing lump in your throat. “Outside.” You continued to pull him through the maze of abandoned buildings. Of course, you picked one of the towns that was mainly abandoned. The town’s momentum collapsed years ago and only a handful of residents remained. 

“Paintball tag?” 

“No.” 

“Hide and seek?” 

“Nope.” 

“Some kind of sport?” 

“Something like that, I guess.” 

“If that’s the case, you better hope you win. I’ve been working on this body for so long.” He reached up to curl a bicep. “I’m about to dominate the playing field. 

You stayed quiet and kept walking. Above, the sun was starting to set and radiating golden waves. Light blues and pinks chased each other while the darkness began to shadow along the other side of the sky. At least, the sky was on his side. 

Changbin wasn’t like you or your gang. He was a breath of fresh air to your tainted lungs. Where particles of ash and bone resided, Changbin was an oxygen mask that cleared it up. The only problem was that you'd grown used to your world. Fresh air caused you to choke on the only thing you had known. 

It wasn’t easy to live this life and you knew that. You vowed to never get close to anyone, but when Changbin showed up, how could you say no? You were heading out on a mission and he bumped into you along the way. The moment your eyes met, you fell head first into sweet pools of syrup. With an addictive and sweet personality, you couldn’t get enough. 

So you exchange your names right there on the street. You exchanged numbers and when you came home speckled with blood and matted hair, you were defeated until you looked at your phone. 

“Hi! I’m the guy you gave your number to tonight. I’m Changbin! Maybe this is too soon and too fast, but would you like to go out somewhere this week? Maybe we could catch a movie or go to a cafe?” 

You forgot about the blood. You forgot about the leaking gash across your forehead. You forgot about the world of terror and destruction that you lived in. You forgot about everything you once knew, but you remembered the sweetened pools of syrup and the way the sun kissed his golden skin. You were doomed from the start and it was all your fault. 

You dragged him further and further through buildings. You stepped over cracks and avoided chunks of rubble. Up above, your most trusted sniper sat back in the darkness of one of the buildings. All you had to do was throw the signal and he’d shoot. 

Your feet were as heavy as your heart. Changbin continued to chatter behind you. He dressed casually for this. Black adidas sweatpants and a simple white compression shirt. A black Nike hat sat atop his curls and he kept lightly rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. 

He picked up on your nervous energy. Even though he didn’t say anything about it, he was hoping that his touch would soothe you more. He kept his pace even with yours and let you lead him. 

You were different from anyone he met before. There was a lull of mystery and uncertainty to you, but you were confident. You acted without hesitation and you dived headfirst through life, rather than let the waves push you back from your goals. 

After another five minutes of walking, you lightly tugged him in front of you and dropped his hand. Behind him, the brick building was crumbling. Mortar cracked and pieces chipped off in every direction. The flat cement around made the sunset easier to observe. 

His eyes scanned the concrete area and he glanced back at you. “You said sports, so where is-” 

You were supposed to stay quiet. Give the signal and let the sniper’s bullet fly. His body would go straight into shock and that would be that. Another bullet, if needed; one that’d pierce the back of his skull and continue to scramble his brain. The last thing he’d ever see was you. 

“I’m sorry,” you weakly uttered. You were supposed to be strong. You were supposed to shut up. This would only make it worse and he’d know the end was coming, but you loved him. Truly and within whatever toxic fumes were in you, you loved him. 

You loved the way that sunlight caught his eyes. The way he ran a hand through his black curls when he was stressed. The way that he pointed at you when the two of you were working out and called out “this one’s for you, babe!” Before he’d bench his weights. 

His arms were the safe haven you never had. Soft lips set your soul on fire and for once, you felt okay. It was as if you weren’t evil anymore. Despite your wicked ways and flaws, you were loveable and someone cared about you. 

Your kill count was over a hundred. Families fell apart because of you. Mothers wept over their dead sons and father’s coddled the mangled remains of their daughters. Their heartbroken tears would never bring them back. When kids shrieked and screamed as they shook their limp parents, their souls were never coming back. 

You were a walking devil and Changbin had no idea. When you rubbed the aching knot in his back, he didn’t know that those same hands had once upon a time snapped necks. When you cupped his face and planted a kiss, he didn’t realize that those same lips were stained with blood during the darkness of a cloudy night. 

The facade you put up, it was a lie. Everything about your relationship was a lie. He’d never understand what you truly were. He was a bug and you were the closing jaws of a venus fly trap. It wasn’t much longer until he’d be dead. 

His face scrunched up in confusion and he took a step towards you. With an outstretched hand, he gently cupped your face. “For what? What do you mean? If you couldn’t think of a date, we cou-” 

Your head shook and your eyes squeezed shut. Your brain screamed at you to stop, but your heart was bursting at the seams. “You don’t really know me, Changbin.” 

“Sweetie, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m a monster.” 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I’ve killed people!” 

His eyebrows scrunched and his face fell. He opened his mouth, but then shook his head. “No, it’s not true. You haven’t killed people and you haven’t hurt anyone. How could you-” 

“And now-” For the first time in a long time, tears streamed down your cheeks. They blurred your vision and Changbin’s face muddled. Those kind eyes and that smile that made your heart melt, you couldn’t breathe. “I-I have to kill you.” 

His blood turned to ice. He stared at your breaking down face, but words didn’t come out. You raised your hand and curled your shaking fingers into a fist. His eyes widened and that’s when the sniper pulled the trigger. 

Bang!

The screech that clawed its way from your throat was animalistic. Your sobs fell as his knees buckled. The entire thing happened in slow motion as his eyes rolled back and his body dropped. 

You screamed his name and dived beside him. Dark blood spread out like spilled ink. It stained the concrete and it oozed like crazy. In a desperate attempt to save him, your hands cradled the back of his head. Viscous blood churned your stomach, but you couldn’t stop the blood. No matter how hard you pressed, you’d never be able to replace the splintered sections of what used to be his skull. 

Warm brain matter twitched and pulsed. You screamed his name louder, but he couldn’t hear you. Changbin was dead and it was all your fault. Cruelty was always in your blood and it always would be. 

You started to scream up at the building. Your sniper appeared over the edge of the window and threw you a look of pity. He too knew that this had to be done. 

“Shoot me! Shoot me! SHOOT ME! JUST FUCKING SHOOT ME!” 

He replaced the safety latch on his gun without a word. He took his time descending the cracked stairs and making his way back to you. The worst part was yet to come. He knew he’d have to drag your bloody figure off of him. 

You jerked on his white shirt. When your desperation peaked, you shoved two hands against his chest. Over and over and over, you pushed. Your fists locked and you performed CPR, but it didn’t work. 

When it finally set in, you curled your body beside his. Your chest went to where his heart used to normally pulse. Your eyes drooped and you wrapped your arms around him. “I love you.” 

For the first time in a year and a half, he didn’t say it back. 

| ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ | ♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡ |

Taglist: @lina-linny @straykidsstanforeverandever @seungnishi @stellasays45

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Ko-fi

[karatekels]

Party Favours

This fic is a belated birthday request for @cortmac1989 (sorry for the wait!) who wanted our favourite silver fox to sweep her off her feet on her birthday. Happy belated, and I hope you enjoy!

TW: oral sex (male and female receiving); bondage; graphic sex; foodplay; teasing; overstimulation

---

Party Favours

---

Terry’s POV:

“I told you I didn’t like to make a big deal about my birthday, Terry!” you pout at him in his office after the day’s lesson had concluded, your arms crossed over your chest. “That’s why I never told you when it was!”

It was adorable, really, how you thought you could keep things from him. Even if he didn’t have access to your personal information from your registration at the dojo, it would be all too easy for him to learn anything and everything he wanted to know about you. And he had, months ago, before you’d started dating.

“Did I make it a big deal?” he counters, staring down at your growing frustration with amusement. All he’d done initially was announce to the class that the rest of the week’s sessions with him were being cancelled; it wasn’t his fault that Williams had asked why. And even then, he’d only said that he would be celebrating your birthday with you for the next few days.

He hadn’t even gone into any specifics, such as the fact that you’ll ideally be too boneless to leave the bedroom by the time he’s done celebrating you tonight. And he wouldn’t dare leave you to your own devices in such a state just to do something as menial as teach a class.

“They’re going to talk about it, Terry; they always talk whenever our relationship is brought up!”

“Who’s talking?” he demands, more than willing to dismiss anyone that was causing you distress. You immediately move to deescalate, reaching out to stroke his arm soothingly.

“They aren’t saying anything wrong, love. I can’t blame them for gossiping; we’re quite the bundle of taboos between the teacher-student dynamic and our age difference… plus, from what I’ve heard, none of them have seen you in love before.”

“That’s because I hadn’t been in love before,” he says in a fierce whisper, pulling you firmly against him. You tilt your head up to give him a shy smile.

“I’m not uncomfortable with them knowing about us or anything, but I don’t want them thinking you’re giving me any sort of special treatment.”

“Firmer discipline, then?” he teases, tightening his hold on you. You start to giggle nervously before biting your lip, clearly becoming concerned that he wasn’t joking. And while there is a deliciousness to the thought of claiming you as his in front of your peers, he is far too possessive to let anyone else see you in a sexual manner.

“Only if you really think I deserve it, Sensei,” you reply huskily, batting your eyelashes up at him, and he can’t contain the deep growl emanating from the back of his throat. Bowing his head, he captures your lips in a passionate kiss, taking care to explore every corner of your mouth with his tongue.

“Fortunately for you, the Birthday Girl can do no wrong today,” he purrs once he’s let you up for air, cradling your face reverently in his hands. You always felt so delicate like this, no matter how strong he knew you were…

“No?” you ask, arching an eyebrow at him coyly. “I have immunity today, huh? I wonder what I should do with it…”

The devious smirk you give him has his cock twitching against his thigh.

“I know we have a rule about not fooling around in the dojo, Sensei, but I was hoping we could make a deal,” you trail off, your fingers toying with his obi. “No big birthday plans for me, and in exchange I’ll give you something I know you’ve wanted for awhile.”

He tries to appear unaffected, but he can’t help the way his grip tightens on your chin at the implications. Christ, he’s wanted to have you in his office for the better part of a year now, but you’d always firmly drawn a line in the sand. He usually agreed with the logic… when he wasn’t tempted, as he is now.

“Y/N…” he murmurs your name in a strained voice. “I want to spoil you, the way you deserve…”

“You still can,” you reassure him with a casual shrug. “As long as it’s just the two of us. Besides, don’t you want me all to yourself?”

He hesitates, mentally calculating the work he’ll have to do to cancel the more elaborate of his public plans for you. He does want to give you everything he feels you deserve, but perhaps more time was needed for you to warm you up to the limelight.

“You’re all I want, Terry Silver. Aren’t you going to give me what I want on my birthday?” you pout, gazing up at him with the most innocent eyes you can muster.

You’re really turning into a fucking brat.

It only gets him harder.

“As you wish, my dear. Are there any other demands, Your Majesty?” he says earnestly. He’ll encourage you asking him for things at every opportunity; all he wants is for you to depend on him, so that he can show just how reliable he can be.

“Just try to treat me like you do every other student when we’re here, okay?” you ask, untying the obi nimbly, your eyes locked with his. “After what’s about to happen, that is,” you add with a flirty smile, pushing him by the hips to lean up against his desk. God, what you do to him…

“I’ll do you no more favours in this dojo,” he promises with a growl as you lower yourself to your knees before him. Tangling his fingers in your hair, he mentally braces himself to memorize every detail of this fantasy about to come to life. “Now, get to work.”

Thanking his past self for his foresight in asking the other sensei to clear the building immediately after the lesson, he sets about savouring the benefits of compromise.

---

Later that night…

Reader’s POV:

Terry is disappointingly not waiting in the back of the car for you when Larry the chauffeur calls for you later that night, passing on Terry’s apology and saying that he was busy finalizing some last-minute plans for the evening. You nibble on your bottom lip on the ride to dinner, feeling anxious and hoping that you haven’t come off as ungrateful or ruined a bunch of plans that Terry had in store for the evening.

But when the hostess leads you up through the restaurant to a private rooftop patio half an hour later, Terry only seems happy to see you, wrapping you up in a tight embrace as soon as the other woman has retreated down the stairs.

“You look spectacular, my love,” he compliments you in a husky voice, resting his forehead on yours. “I hope that this is a private enough setting for you, my princess.”

You roll your eyes playfully at his teasing before taking a moment to look around. As always, you tended to neglect your surroundings whenever Terry was in the room.

The terrace is decorated with fairy lights and candles that give off the perfect amount of light against the rapidly darkening evening sky, with plants decorating the railings and hung from the ceiling, their flowers giving off a light, exotic fragrance. It’s a warm evening in Los Angeles, but there is a pleasant cool breeze that plays with the loose tendrils of both yours and Terry’s hair. You’re high enough in the air that the typical noise of the city is drowned out, and smooth jazz quietly plays from a sound system you can’t locate.

But most importantly, it’s just the two of you, Terry dressed comfortably, the way he did when he entertained at his home, and that means more to you than anything.

“It’s perfect, Terry,” you tell him sincerely, beaming up at him with pure joy. It wasn’t easy to convince the man you loved to see things your way, especially when it came to your preference for the less extravagant, so him giving into your desires over what he felt you deserved is a big achievement in your eyes. “Thank you,” you whisper, burying your face into his chest as you wrap your arms around his waist tightly once more.

Terry is content to hold you in silence for a moment or two, before releasing you to take your hand and lead you to the comfortable booth, guiding you into place and pouring you each a glass of prosecco before taking his seat next to you. You immediately twine both of your legs around one of his, wanting him close and enjoying the intimacy that this degree of privacy affords you – it means so much more to you than any expensive, formal setting.

“To you, my love,” he croons, raising his glass to you in a toast. “May you find happiness and joy everywhere you go, for that is what you bring to the world and everyone around you.”

You clink your glass with his and down half of your drink quickly to complete the toast, so that you can crawl into his lap and pull him down for a heated kiss, your toes tingling.

“I’m sure I will,” you murmur against his lips. “I’ll be with you.”

Terry’s gaze softens, a sweet smile stealing across his face before he pulls you in for another kiss that quickly has you both getting carried away, Terry gently turning you to lay back in the booth as he comes down over top of you. Fortunately – though that’s debatable – you are both still fully dressed when a pointed cough is heard from behind Terry some time later.

You immediately squeak, flushing an even darker shade of red while Terry remains cool as he always does, straightening up slowly and giving you a wink before turning to look over his shoulder at the server. “Another few minutes with the menu, please,” he requests nonchalantly, turning back to you before the server stammers an “Of course, Mr. Silver,” and scurries back downstairs.

You can’t help but let out a breathless giggle, sitting back up and trying to fix your hair. Terry’s gaze runs up and down your body, and you reflexively slide away from him slightly, knowing that you need to establish some boundaries before you get carried away.

“Don’t even think about it, Terry Silver. I don’t care how alone we are out here, we are not having sex in public!”

With an exaggerated huff and a pout Terry concedes, though he does pull you closer until you’re half-sitting on his lap once more. You both look through the menu together, your head tucked against his chest as you read, and he passes on your orders to the server when they return as you can’t bring yourself to look them in the eye, faint traces of a blush still dusting your cheeks.

You sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes after they’ve left, before Terry suddenly slides you off of his lap, an unusual jitteriness to the way he moves that you aren’t sure what to make of. He takes your hand in one of his own, bringing it to his lips and brushing kisses across your knuckles, his gaze scorching.

“I truly can’t fathom how I am the man lucky enough to spend this day with you, Y/N,” he coos softly against the delicate skin of your hand, and you shiver with pleasure. “I must start thanking you for every day you choose to share with me.”

“Terry…” you breathe, overwhelmed as always by the devotion in his words and his touch. He doesn’t push you to say more, instead continuing to kiss his way up from your knuckles to the back of your wrist and slowly up your forearm. He pauses halfway to your elbow, leaning back and staring at your arm with a perplexed expression. You try not to squirm, your brow furrowed as you look up at him inquisitively.

“What? What’s wrong?” you ask with concern after he remains silent for longer than you can stand.

“Something is missing,” he informs you seriously, before reaching into his pocket and retrieving a flat, square gift box. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”

You slap him lightly in the chest for his theatrics before reaching for the box with trembling fingers. Inside is a stunning diamond tennis bracelet, the gemstones artfully arranged into vines, leaves and flowers. You nearly drop the box in your shock, but Terry’s quick reflexes have him catching it before it’s even fully left your grip.

His lips are quirked in amusement as you try to stammer your thanks, but you can barely get any words out in your shock; you know that money is no object for him, but this must have cost a fortune. By the time you’ve composed yourself he’s already secured the bracelet around your wrist, giving your now-decorated wrist an approving nod.

“That’s much better,” he purrs, lifting your hand and watching the bracelet catch the light at every angle. “Though if I had my way you’d be covered in jewels and not much else,” he adds, his thumb delicately rubbing the sensitive skin of your wrist in a way that has heat coursing through your veins.

“Terry, it’s absolutely spectacular! Thank you so much,” you gush, unable to take your eyes off of it. You’re vaguely aware of Terry humming contentedly – he’s far more accustomed to you trying to reject gifts of this magnitude, and is clearly pleased by your easy acceptance.

“I assure you, it doesn’t hold a candle compared to the woman wearing it,” he says with a wink.

The servers arrive then with your meal, and while you’re briefly irritated by their timing, you soon see it as a good thing; had they arrived even two minutes later, you know they’d have found you in a completely compromising position.

---

The meal is delicious, and you and Terry are enjoying the night with one another in a comfortable sort of bubble that belongs only to the two of you. Terry’s arm around you is all the protection you need against the growing chill to the air, and you’re more than content to curl up on the bench seat and into him further.

You’re absent-mindedly toying with his hair, out of its signature ponytail – you suspect he wore it this way on purpose, knowing your preference for it – and humming contentedly along with the soft music, when you chance a glance up at his face and notice him looking down at you with an anxious expression.

“Is everything okay, Terry?” you ask, moving your hand to stroke his cheek. He immediately leans into your palm, a pleased sigh escaping him, and he moves to take your other hand in his.

“More than okay, Y/N. I wanted to give you this at home, but I can’t wait anymore.”

With uncharacteristic nervousness, he withdraws another box, slightly thicker than the first, from his coat pocket, placing it on the table. Your mouth goes dry.

“Terry, another one? This is too much, I can’t –” you protest, sliding the unopened box back towards him. In a flash, one large hand covers your own, and the box beneath it, gently caging them against the table.

“You can, and you will,” he says in a low, firm voice, giving you an intense stare. “Open it, please.”

He releases your hand, sliding it and the box closer to you, and you bite your tongue as you lift the top off of the box.

Unlike the jewelry you’d expected, a small set of silver keys lay neatly presented in the box.

You stare at them for a long moment, your jaw falling open slightly, before you force your eyes upwards to meet his own.

“Move in with me,” he requests in a soft voice, his expression vulnerable. “Please?”

You’re utterly speechless, your heartbeat thudding loudly in your ears, and it takes you a moment to remember to breathe. When you look up, Terry’s brows have started to crease in worry, and you realize that you have yet to answer him.

Throwing your arms around him, you gasp out an acceptance as you pepper his face with kisses, tears streaming down your cheeks. You feel Terry’s arms embrace you tightly as the tension leaves his body, and he lays reverent kisses across the top of your head as you hold one another.

“Really?” he asks, his blue eyes seeking yours for confirmation. “You’ll live with me?”

His rare show of insecurity has your heart melting, and you rush to reassure him.

“Yes, Terry; God, yes!” you whisper breathlessly, and the smile he gives you is dazzling.

“Now, tell me there aren’t anymore surprises left for me tonight – I don’t think my heart can take anymore!” you joke with a sniffle, wiping at your tears.

As if on cue, the sky erupts in brilliant colours, light popping noises scattering through the night. You immediately turn to look at Terry, concerned that the fireworks are going to trigger his PTSD, but he seems unsurprised by the sudden explosions.

“Oops.” Terry mumbles under his breath, more to himself than to you.

“Are… are these –” you stammer, turning all around you to see the colourful display circling you from every direction in a giant ring that spanned blocks.

“For you? Yes,” Terry admits, smiling down at you fondly. “But nobody else knows that.”

And it’s that little detail, more than anything else so far this evening, that tells you that Terry Silver is the man you were meant to be with.

“May I interest you in the dessert menu, Mr. Silver?” a server asks during a pause in the fireworks.

“Just the bill, thank you,” Terry says dismissively to the waiter, keeping his eyes locked with yours. You raise your eyebrows in surprise, even as desire coils in your belly from the way he’s gazing at you in the candlelight.

“I’ve got plans for dessert back home.”

---

Terry’s POV:

It’s an incredible test of his self-control to not have his way with you in the back of the limo on the ride home, but he knows that once he starts he’s not going to stop until you’re both spent.

Instead, he elects to focus on how soul-deep, over-the-moon happy he is right now, that his house is to become your home; it’s everything he’s ever wanted. He leans down to kiss you again where you’ve settled in his lap, one arm curled around you possessively while the other toys with the sensitive skin behind your knee, making you squirm pleasantly against him and letting out cute little moans that he greedily swallows into his own mouth.

He can tell that you’re partly surprised by the fact that he’s (mostly) keeping his hands to himself, and he chooses to keep up the behaviour if only to see how you’ll respond to it. Now that you’re taking this next big step in your relationship together, Terry finds that he wants to spend all of his waking hours watching you react to life around you. You’ve enthralled him like nothing else.

So, when the two of you arrive back at the mansion, he scoops you into his arms the moment you’re out of the backseat, carrying you bridal style up and into the house while you giggle and blush like a debutante, your arms locked around his neck and resting on his shoulder. He pointedly says nothing, carrying you past the stairs leading to the bedrooms and moving through the house to the kitchen, enjoying your look of growing confusion.

“What are we doing in here?” you ask once he’s set you on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“I believe I told you I had plans for dessert back home. What did you think I meant?” he asks with mock innocence, grin widening as he watches your face turn red. You try to kick at him with a bare foot but he dodges it nimbly, taking off his coat and hanging it on the back of a chair before moving to roll up his shirt sleeves. He catches you watching and bites back a smirk, your reactions to his body never failing to stroke his ego.

“Alright then, Betty Crocker, what’s on the menu?” you snark at him from your perch on the counter, trying to brush off the joke at your expense, but he isn’t fooled.

Terry had thought about it on the ride home, and he realized exactly what he wanted to make for you: a dessert from his childhood. He had remained a relatively private person throughout your relationship, especially when it came to his own history, a boundary that you had always respected but were clearly curious about. Now that you were starting to really, truly build a life together – his heart clenches intensely at the thought – it seems like the perfect time to give you a bit of insight into his past; God knows you’ve been patiently waiting for it.

“Bavarian cream,” he answers, taking in your expectant, curious look as you cock your head at him. He can tell by the patience in your eyes that you’re waiting for an explanation; you know that he never does anything for no reason. You know him so well, and every moment he’s reminded of that little fact sends his spirits soaring.

He’s waited so, so long for you, but it was all well worth it.

“It’s a creamy custard,” he explains as he busies himself with gathering ingredients from the fridge. “It was my favourite as a child. My mother used to make it for me.”

Your gaze softens even as it lights up – you’re clearly pleased by this new bit of information, just as he knew you would be.

“I can’t wait to try it,” you tell him sincerely, a beautiful smile lighting up your face. It’s clear that this genuinely means more to you than the hundred-thousand-dollar bracelet dangling from your dainty wrist, and he finds himself marvelling for the umpteenth time about how you truly just want him for him.

He falls into the comfortable rhythm of preparing the dessert – separating egg yolks, whisking the ingredients together, heating them on the stove, and beating cream into stiff peaks before adding it to the custard. The two of you are making casual conversation as he works, but it doesn’t escape his notice that you’ve been getting hot and bothered, your tongue peeking out from between your lips on occasion as you watch his hands at work.

You’ve been so patient, and given him so much today – starting with that blowjob in his office – on your birthday, no less.

It was time to start rectifying that imbalance immediately.

“It’ll need some time to set,” Terry explains, his eyes on the contents of the bowl on the counter between you. “Though I suppose I should make sure the flavour is to your liking first, hmm?”

He watches you swallow thickly as you watch him dip a long finger into the creamy, pale dessert, your mouth dry as he lifts the digit to your lips. Your beautiful eyes look past his finger to seek his out, and you stare up at him unblinkingly as you shyly extend your tongue to lick a dollop of the sweet cream off of his finger. Your eyes widen slightly, your pupils dilating, and you let out an incredibly sensual moan, instinctively grabbing his wrist to hold his hand steady so that you can take his finger into your mouth, sucking it clean.

Even he’s surprised by the intensity of the shudder that rocks his entire body at the gesture.

He can tell by the way that you lick your lips and avert your gaze that you’re about to ask for something intriguing, and he tries to contain his interest.

“So all that happens now is that the gelatin sets?”

“Yes,” he answers, curious as to your train of thought.

“But it’s technically safe to eat now?”

“Yes,” he replies in a hoarse voice, hoping that he’s accurately picked up on your train of thought.

Sure enough, you tug him towards you, wrapping your limbs around him and squeezing like a python as you pull him down into a fiery kiss.

“Let’s take it upstairs just like this,” you suggest, panting slightly in your arousal. “Now.”

---

Reader’s POV:

Terry somehow manages to juggle both the bowl of dessert and you wrapped around him as he carries you upstairs, kicking open the door to his bedroom – soon to be your bedroom – in his haste to get you where he wants you. You giggle in his arms, taking the bowl from him and setting it on the bedside table.

“Eager, are we, Mr. Silver?” you tease as he climbs onto the bed on all fours with you still hanging onto him.

“Yes,” he answers immediately, sounding unabashed. “You’ve spent the day entirely too unravished, if you ask me.”

Detangling your limbs from around him, he lays you out on the bed before running his hands from your ankles up your legs, disappearing beneath the floral fabric of your dress to tug your panties off.

“Speaking of eager,” he purrs, holding the damp scrap of fabric in front of your face, “you’re already soaked for me, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you groan desperately, trying to keep your eyes focused so that you can unbutton his shirt.

Terry growls in approval, slipping his hands beneath you to pull down the zipper of your dress and gently pulling the sleeves down your arms before tearing the clothing off of you in one swift motion. Sitting up on your knees, you push the shirt off of his shoulders, but before you can get a firm grip on his belt he’s got you on your back again, pulling one of your legs up to wrap around his hips.

“We’ll have more than enough time for that later, sweetheart. Right now is all about me spoiling my girl the way she deserves.”

Not wanting to be outdone – it was your birthday, and you should get what you want – you blindly reach into the bowl of cream, gathering some on your fingers and swiping them across Terry’s mouth. He tries to snatch up your fingers between his teeth but you’re too fast for him, instead pulling him in for a truly decadent kiss, your tongue gathering the cream from his lips and sweeping it into his mouth.

The positively sinful groan he lets out has your toes curling, and you need to hear more of it, right fucking now.

Taking advantage of Terry’s current state of… distraction – you can feel his erection pressing insistently against your inner thigh – you quickly pull him to the side, rolling the pair of you until you are straddling his hips. The sight of Terry shirtless with mussed hair has you grinding eagerly against the bulge in his trousers, and you quickly reach for the bowl again, painting stripes across his chest with the sweet substance so that you can bend down and lick him clean.

The slight saltiness to his skin only enhances the flavour of the dessert, and you eagerly devour it off of him, hearing him cursing under his breath when your tongue brushes against a flat nipple. Grinning wickedly, you gather the remaining cream around his nipples, licking and sucking until he loses his patience, growling at you as he forcefully turns you over and pins you to the bed.

Pinning you in place with his hips and a stern glare, he reaches into the bedside drawer for a reel of nylon rope that immediately has you squirming beneath him. He removes the tennis bracelet from your wrist before deftly binding your hands together and securing them to the bedframe above your head, ignoring your weak protests.

“Save me some cream, at least,” you request with a pout – he’s currently staring down at you like you’re something to eat.

“Why should I? I should cover you head to toe and spend all night sucking you clean,” he growls, the low timbre to his voice having your eyes rolling back in your head as you imagine a night of him servicing you. Still, you have a point to make, so you force yourself to focus, sitting up as much as you can with your hands bound over your head and staring him in the eye.

“Imagine fucking my throat with my mouth full of cream,” you purr up at him, pleased at the nearly feral look he gives you in response.

“Christ, you’re a filthy creature,” he snarls, his grip tightening on the curve of your waist.

“Only for you, baby,” you reply with a cheeky smile. His answering smirk has you pressing your thighs together.

“Damn right,” he hisses, his hands forcing your legs apart and to either side of him. “Now, be a good girl for Daddy and then you can have your dessert.”

You nod up at him with a soft whine, trying to brace yourself for whatever is to come.

Terry – of course – had to test your limits, covering your body in the cool substance and tracing patterns on your arms, legs, neck and stomach and purposefully neglecting your breasts and pussy. He keeps his heated gaze on your face as he slowly licks you clean, wriggling his tongue on the underside of one forearm from your wrist to the crease of your elbow in a way that has your thighs quaking to either side of him.

“I still want to decorate this perfect body with jewels,” Terry promises as he languidly licks up cream off of your ankle. “But this will do in the meantime. You taste absolutely divine, beloved.”

By the time he cleans the cream from your limbs you’re a complete quivering mess, but Terry refuses to speed up. You know from past experience that any begging on your part – unless he asked you to – would only make the sadistic bastard draw things out even more.

“You’re being so patient, sweet thing,” he coos approvingly, his tongue swirling around your bellybutton while you arch up into him with a cry. “Such a good girl, letting me eat you up.”

He slowly brushes your breasts with cream next, while you do your best not to seem too affected. The custard is thickening now, each of your nipples decorated by a curl of cream.

“Ah, see? It’s starting to set. Stiff peaks,” Terry jokes before kissing the cream off of a prominent nipple, chuckling around your breast while you keen, your spine completely bowed up and off the bed. He grips your hips firmly, pressing them into the mattress as he continues to devour you, and you’re already so close that the slight pressing together of your inner thighs is enough to have you coming, your legs tightening their hold around his hips as you buck up against him.

“I love watching you come apart for me, Y/N,” he murmurs in a husky voice once you’ve stopped moaning his name and caught your breath slightly, though your chest is still heaving. “You were made for me to ruin, and spoil, and own.”

“Yesss,” you hiss, pulling him upwards with your knees until he gives you what you want, kissing you deeply, traces of cream on his tongue that you lap up eagerly. “I’m all yours, Terry. We were made for each other, love.”

Terry’s exuberance can be felt in every brush of his lips against yours, the way his fingers press into your flesh and his eyes bore into your own. You’ll be happy to affirm your feelings for him for eternity, especially knowing what it means to him.

“My sweet girl,” Terry breathes, nuzzling into the crook of your neck affectionately. “I love you so much.”

“Let me up and prove it!” you tease, tugging at your restraints. Terry smirks down at you, running a hand slowly down one side of your body.

“Let you up? When I finally have you where I want you, in our bed?” he asks playfully, and you can’t help the beaming smile that spreads across your face when he mentions this space being yours now, too.

“No dice, sweetheart, not even for the birthday girl. But I will let you choose if you’d rather have your dessert now or after I’ve had seconds…” he leers down at you, one large hand squeezing a handful of your inner thigh firmly. You shudder, thinking about Terry using you while you’re tied up; it’s one of your favourite things to do with him (though everything you do together nears the top of the list), and you’re surprised he’s letting the focus deviate from you so much today of all days.

“Ooohhh, let me!” you moan eagerly, Terry taking in your enthusiasm with smug satisfaction. He makes a show of taking off his pants, staying just out of reach and watching you squirm impatiently before climbing back on the bed, keeping his knees to either side of your body and his weight off of you, cheekily balancing the bowl of dessert on your ribs.

“Keep it in your mouth,” he commands, using his fingers to feed the cream into your greedy mouth. You hold it all inside, your cheeks bulging out, and Terry gives you a wicked smile, bringing the swollen head of his cock just in front of your lips. You look up at him with needy, pleading eyes, silently begging to give him pleasure. His eyes darken further as he stares down at you right where you were meant to be; utterly at his mercy.

“Tell me what you want, beautiful,” he purrs, his eyes glittering.

“I want to suck your cock, Daddy,” you moan through your full mouth, and while the words are mostly unintelligible, he gets the gist, bringing the tip of his cock to your full lips. You lift your head as much as you can, guiding him inside your mouth with your tongue, the cream moving to accommodate his length.

“Oh sweet fuck,” he hisses, his hips moving to slide deeper, the difference in texture and temperature between your hot mouth and the cool cream clearly driving him wild. You moan throatily around him, your tongue swirling the cream around his cock as you try to bring him quickly. Nothing gave you a greater high than making this imposing, restrained man come undone.

“Such a perfect, dirty mouth,” he growls as he quickens his pace, his fists clenched in the sheets to either side of your head. “God, what you do to me, Y/N,”he snarls before an incredibly sexy whimper escapes his lips, causing his hips to stutter. “You’ve got me so close already, baby girl, I’m going to –”

You lift your legs suddenly, your knees guiding his hips closer to your head, and the movement takes him by surprise, causing him to reach up and grab the headboard as he climaxes, thighs shaking as he keeps his weight off of you. The bitter, salty taste of his cum compliments the dessert wonderfully, and you swallow everything you can before starting to clean the remaining cream off of his softening cock with kittenish licks that have him twitching above you.

Terry, hair mussed and face flushed from the exertion, stares down at you with unblinking eyes as he watches you lick him clean with fascination.

“I’ve got to stop letting you bewitch me, woman,” he comments off-handedly as he smiles at you fondly, sliding down the bed to lay next to you. “Today is supposed to be all about you.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” you say with mock innocence, batting your eyes up at him. “I certainly got what I wanted.”

“What a coincidence – having you tied down and pleasuring me is also at the top of my birthday wishlist.”

“Why should we only reserve it for special occasions?”

He gives you a dark, brooding look. “Every day before I met you seems more and more like a waste.”

“We should make up for lost time then,” you retort with a grin. “Untie me?”

“Oh, I don’t know about that – I’m not quite done with my dessert.”

“But I need to touch you, Terry,” you coo quietly up at him, and his gaze softens. Keeping his eyes trained on yours, he reaches up to remove the rope from your wrists, taking each one as it’s freed and kissing it thoroughly, checking for damage.

“Thank you, baby,” you murmur sweetly, your fingers playing with his hair as you stare into his blue, blue eyes. They were so captivating that you often forgot your surroundings entirely…

The temperature of the bavarois against your aching clit makes you shriek, Terry having taken advantage of your distraction to work some of the cream between your legs. Before you can tighten your grip he’s slipped his head out of your grasp with a wicked smile, sliding down the bed and spreading your legs in one fluid motion before burying his face at the apex of your thighs.

“Oh fuck, Terry, Oh God,” you groan, trying to grind your hips up against his face. He watches you with feverish, bright eyes peeking out from above your mound as he makes you come apart from him again, backing off right before you reach the point of no return.

“That’s right, sweetheart, let me love you how you need,” he purrs, chuckling as you fist your hands in his gorgeous silver curls and try to tug him back to where you need him. Predictably, your attempts have no effect, and he turns his head slightly to give you a patronizing kiss on your inner thigh.

“Terry!” you whine his name, panting desperately, “PLEASE!”

“There’s a new rule for you tonight, beloved,” he informs you nonchalantly, as though you were in any frame of mind to follow along. “You want to come once, you come twice – got it?”

He dives back in to eat you out before you can even respond, and there’s no way you can be expected to form a coherent thought and make a decision. You know that Terry knows this, too, and that you’ll happily agree to anything right now if it means that he’ll let you come.

“Yes, fine! Please don’t stop,” you beg, and you can feel him smirking victoriously against your folds as he snakes his tongue inside of you. Throwing your legs over his shoulders, he takes his time, spreading the last of the dessert along your hips and thighs and devouring you thoroughly.

“I will never get over the way you taste,” he groans with satisfaction, two fingers pumping you full while he flicks his tongue over your clit, and you come hard, screaming his name. He doesn’t relent, quickly withdrawing his fingers and replacing them with his tongue as he drinks up your release, dragging out your orgasm with his lips and purring his approval inside of you; you can feel it in your bones.

“Give me another one,” he demands in a low, husky voice, his large hands gripping your thighs tightly as he spreads them apart, watching your pussy quiver in its release. You let out a wordless whine, your hands laid overtop of his where he holds you open.

“Make… me…” you pant, staring down at him challengingly, and he gives you a wolfish grin, blunt fingernails digging into your soft flesh.

“With pleasure, my princess,” he purrs, his eyes promising that you’ll be begging for mercy by the time he’s done with you.

You’re not naïve enough to believe that this will be the end of Terry’s plans for you for the evening – and sure enough, after thoroughly scrubbing the lingering traces of sugar off of both of you in the shower, he would spend the rest of the night and well into the early hours of the morning making even sweeter love to you.

---

Well, I know what I want for my birthday! Hope you all enjoyed!

[giggly-squiggily]

The Tickle Mobster's Final Stand (Piofiore)

Hello everyone! I hope y'all had a good 2024 and a better 2025! For the last fic of the year, I decided to conclude the improptu Tickle Mobster trilogy with Nicola getting what's coming to him! Thank you to everyone who's enjoyed this as much as I have writing it! I hope you like it! :D

Summary: Nicola takes any opportunity to cause mischief. Unfortunately for him, today is the day where all his antics catch up to him.

Ah, another rare moment when things were at ease at the Falzone Manor.

How Nicola loved days like this. So relaxing..so peaceful…

So full of opportunity…

He snickered to himself as he went about, a clockwork mouse in hand as he approached Leo’s door. Call him terrible, but it’s been so long since he’d surprise their young guard. Dante would have his head if he let this little bugger run free in the office, and Liliana would likely never speak to him again be it her room. This was the best place to test his little trick.

As he kneeled down to let the toy go, the door suddenly opened. “Oh, don’t mind me- I dropped something.” He spoke without looking up, knowing Leo wouldn’t question it.

Unfortunately for him, the voice that answered wasn’t Leo’s.

“Really now? What did you drop, Nicola?” He froze all over, daring a peek at the all too familiar shoes and pants legs in his sight. He didn’t need to look up to find Dante glaring daggers at him.

“Dante, good timing!” He made himself do it though, bringing up his tiny mouse with a smile. “Found a mouse. Should we give it some cheese?” Those sharp blue eyes of his didn’t waver, narrowing as Nicola stood. “I bet it’d like brie. Or maybe-”

“Nicola. That’s a toy. I can hear it clicking.” Dante cut him off, folding his arms across his chest as he leaned into the doorframe. Damn, sharp as ever. He knew him too well. “Now, what exactly were you planning on doing with that thing?”

“...Say, why were you in Leo’s room?” The brunette had no answer, so he narrowed his own eyes and straightened his back, matching his cousin’s energy. “You don’t usually visit anyone besides Lili or myself. This is strange behavior for you…”

A flicker of hesitation. Dante struggled not to look away from the brunette’s growing smile. “That’s irrelevant.”

“I disagree. It’s out of the norm for you. I hear love makes us do strange things, but this? The only reason I can think of you to be here instead is…” Behind him, he felt a familiar presence. The smell of sugar and perfume he loved so much touching his nose, making him grin. “Hello, Lili.”

A beat of silence. Nicola almost laughed at their attempt to entrap him. “Great attempts all around everybody.” Better luck next time-”

What happened next no one could have predicted.

With a cry of determination, Liliana threw herself into Nicola from behind, sending them both crashing to the floor. The clockwork mouse zoomed away, disappearing down the hall to be forgotten.

“Oof! Lili- what the hell?” Nicola yelped, half hidden in his bangs as he tried looking back at her. “Why did you- ergh!”

“I gotcha now!” The blonde cried in glee, grinning when Nicola’s entire body trembled. Her hands scritched along his shoulder blades, focusing on the spots she knew tickled but weren’t enough to break him. “I told you I would get you back! Today is the day you pay for your crimes!”

A small snort- Dante had turned away from them to hide his laughter at Liliana’s theatrics. Nicola would have laughed too had he not been busy trying to avoid her devious touch. “L-Lili, let me g-go! I can’t promise my re-revenge will be as n-nice as la-ast time!”

“Yes, yes- do your worst. I can take it!” She cooed, far too happy about the results before her to worry about her fate. “Right now though- you’re under my control! Dante, help me!”

“Hm?” The capo blinked, not expecting the request. Nicola had a bad feeling.

“Dante, don’t you da-ahahare!” Nicola cried back, a few loose chortles escaping when his girlfriend found a rather sensitive spot along the edges of his spine. “Gehehet her instehahad!”

“No, help me!”

“This feels all too familiar.” The pale haired man chided with a small laugh, folding his arms in consideration. “To help or to not help- which path should I take…?”

Dante’s legs left his field of sight as he debated his choice. Nicola didn’t have time to worry about that when Liliana seemed to switch from scratches to pokes, her fingers nimble as they seeked out his most ticklish spots. “Lil-ehehehe! Lili, pleahahhahase! Chohohme on, thihihihs is cruuhuhuel!”

“Was it cruel when you tickled me?” She asked, poking along his neck and ears, making him shiver and duck with a giggle. “Or when you ambushed Dante in his office?”

“You told her about that?” Dante asked from behind, sounding betrayed. Nicola couldn’t help but snort in response. “That’s it. Lili, be a dear and scoot up some for me? I’ll get him laughing.”

“Noohoho! Nohoh, Dahhante! Dohhon’t you da-AHHAHRE!” The cackles ripped from his throat the moment hands touched down on the backs of his thighs, sending relentless waves of ticklishness up his nerves. “Nohohohohoho, cohoohohme ohohohohon! Thahhat’s so meahhahahahn!”

“Pfft- oh my goodness!” Liliana couldn’t contain her laughter at his loud mirth, one hand still tickling while the other half-heartedly hid her smile. “I hadn’t realized he was this ticklish!”

“Oh absolutely. He’s been this ticklish for a long time. Gulia often got him the most whenever he snuck sweets.” Dante snickered, leaning back just in time to avoid a kick to the face. “Careful!”

“Yooohohohu bihihihite yoohohohur tohohohohnhgue! Whohohoh wahahas it thahaht I was steahhahaling sweheheheets for, agahahahin?” Nicola cried back, making his cousin blush and avert his gaze. Liliana looked between them with such a happy expression. She felt like she was learning so much more about these dear boys.

Call her bold, but…”Dante, where is he most ticklish?”

“Dohohohon’t tehehheell her!” Nicola cut in, face against the ground when she dug her fingers into his shoulders once more.

“Hmm….I can’t recall.” The other admitted. A small victory for Nicola. “Though I was sure it’s somewhere along his legs?”

Nooo! The victory was lost. Man, this really did feel familiar.

“Along his legs…Oh! Like here?” Where was here? It was torture to not know where they were going to attack! Hm- he should try that next time. He could find a blindfold or-

“GAHAH!”

“Found it!” Liliana cried in glee, her fingers digging into his hips as he flopped like a fish beneath her, dolphin-like cackles filling the space. “I had a feeling you were ticklish here!”

“Lihihihihili! Lihihihihli nohohohohoo! Doohohn’t, stahhahpt tha-AHAHHA!” Damn, now Dante was tickling his legs again! His poor knees, being dug into and kneaded so feather-like. How dare his cousin be gifted with such gentle hands! “STAHHAP PLEHAHAHASE!”

“What do you think?” He heard her ask, feeling her hands resting against his hips. They weren’t tickling anymore, but the pressure was enough to keep him giggly.

“Hm…spare him. For now.” The hands were removed, and he felt an immediate sensation of relief pass through him. Oh how he was going to get them both back, tenfold-

A small kiss to his cheek made him forget he was angry. Side eyeing the beautiful blonde smiling at him, he let out a resigned sigh before pinching her cheek, making her laugh. “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

“Does that go for both of us?” Dante asked dryly, making Liliana giggle. Nicola resisted the urge to shoot him a rude hand gesture when a sudden scream echoed down the hall. Their heads shot up, Dante reaching for his gun while Nicola moved to protect his girl-

“There’s a MOUSE!” Leo’s screams carried, killing the growing tension. Dante let out a low sigh while Nicola snorted, slapping a hand over his mouth to hide his growing mirth. “Someone get Carlos!”

“Guilia’s going to kill us. Leo- calm yourself, you’re a guard in the Familia for a reason.” Dante pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood up, giving his guffawing cousin a halfhearted glare. “Seems your little trick found it’s target, Nicola. I hope you’re proud of yourself.” With a barely concealed laugh, the Capo left to sort out the chaos.

“Oh, you’re terrible!” Liliana swatted at him gently as Nicola leaned into her, holding his aching belly. “Poor Leo- he’s gonna be all nerves now!”

“He’hehehell be fihihihne! Oh my GOD, that was great!” Putting a hand to his brow, he snickered helplessly at the results of his mischief, the young guard’s scream forever ingrained in his memory. “Sorry, sorry- I’m teheherrible, I know!”

“A true prankster. I hope you’re prepared for when he gets you back.” She smiled teasingly, yelping when he suddenly wrapped his arms around her, pulling them both into the ground “Nicola?”

“Speaking of- that little bit about revenge. I believe somebody said she could take it when I got her back, yeah?” Her face grew pink, eyes widening some at his devious grin. “Better prepare yourself, Lili. When I find you tonight, you’re gonna wish you hadn’t done this.”

“Is that a promise?” She asked without warning, making his brows shoot up and all the blood in his body rush elsewhere. She giggled through her blush, leaning in and kissing his cheek before freeing herself. “I’m gonna go catch a mouse. See you later!”

She left him there, laying in the center of the hall as he caught his breath.

Thanks for reading!

[thatlovinfeelin]

Half a Heart - One - Jake Hangman Seresin

Blaire Montgomery moved away from all she ever knew at eighteen to conceal a secret. Now nearly fourteen years later, her secret is finally out of the bag when her and her thirteen year old daughter, Lucy, quite literally run into Jake Seresin, young Lucy's father. All three lives are forever changed due to one fateful encounter, and two hearts are once again made whole.

Blaire Montgomery walked along the street, hand in hand with her daughter, laughing at a joke that the young teenager just told. Together, they made their way across the board walk of Virginia Beach, towards their intended lunch destination. 

“Mama, just once, you really should try it.”

“Nope, not going to happen Lulu.”

The younger girl, Lucy or Lulu, just frowned, but continued walking alongside her mother. They were best friends, maybe something stronger than that. Blaire was just a child herself, not even nineteen when she had Lucy. They grew up together, making their bond stronger than anyone could ever really understand. 

Lucy didn’t know who her father was, and probably never would. Blaire was counting on never seeing the man again. Which seemed funny, considering they lived in a military dominated area. But she never imagined that the man would be stationed here. 

She was eighteen when she found out she was pregnant, just after graduation. There was no way she could tell the father, not when he was planning on being so much more than just the small town boy he was. She didn’t want to hold him back, she couldn’t be the reason he never saw his dreams come true. So she lied to him and broke up with him. Blaire even went as far as moving shortly after, so he would never know. 

Her own family didn’t know who fathered her beautiful little girl, though she was sure they had their ideas. She would never confirm or deny them, only changing the subject whenever they asked. It helped that she hadn’t heard from him in nearly fourteen years too.

She grew up, she moved on. Going on a few casual dates here and there, but never anything serious. It was hard to be serious with someone when she had Lulu to look after. Even now that she was old enough to be left home alone and take care of herself, it was hard. Blaire couldn’t really think about bringing any man home who wasn’t the man she gave her heart to all of those years ago. 

Because the truth was, she might have broken up with him, but she never really got her whole heart back. 

“I’m staaaaarrrrvinnnggg,” Lulu said, dramatically dragging out the word. 

“Which is why we’re going to get lunch before we keep shopping,” Blaire reminded her daughter, “C’mon, just a few more minutes.”

“I’m going to die before we get there,” Lulu whined, “Die of starvation. Wither away to nothing right in front of you.”

“God, how did you get so dramatic?” Blaire questioned, “I swear I was never this bad when I was your age.”

They rounded the corner, restaurant now in sight and Lulu let out a loud sigh and tugged her mother along faster. They were seated almost instantly, making Lucy extremely happy. They ordered appetizers and fell into a comfortable conversation about school. 

Lucy was in middle school now, which seemed almost impossible to Blaire. It was hard for her to realize that her daughter was growing into a fine young woman and was almost an adult of sorts. 

“So Liam Mackey tried to ask me out yesterday,” Lulu said, taking a bite of a mozzarella stick. 

Blaire had to keep herself from choking on her water, “Oh really? What did you say?”

She was hoping her daughter said no. She wasn’t ready to deal with dating yet. Middle school drama was one thing, but boyfriends and heartbreaks were something else entirely and Blaire might just have a heart attack if she had to navigate that part of parenting right now. 

“I told him no, obviously,” Lulu rolled her eyes, “He asked out Marlee Parks two days ago, I’m not some sloppy second choice.”

Letting out a deep breath, Blaire reached for her water again and took a large gulp, “Well…good for you for knowing your worth.”

“Liar. You’re thrilled you don’t have to deal with me having a boyfriend yet,” Lucy teased. 

“You’re right,” She sighed, “So no dating till you’re thirty, okay?”

“What about you? You’re like thirty and you aren’t going on dates.”

“Okay don’t make me ground you.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Lucy countered, sticking out her tongue.

Blaire sighed again, knowing her daughter was right. She wouldn’t ground her. Blaire wasn’t one to ground or really punish her daughter at all. Not to say that she didn’t when she had to. But she hated every minute of it. 

When their food came, Lucy wasted no time digging in and eating every bite she could. Blaire almost had to laugh. Her daughter loved food, so much it was almost comical in fact. She was like her father in that regard, the man could eat like no one else. No one except maybe his daughter. 

“We’re still going shopping, right?” She questioned. 

“Yes, we’ll go shopping after lunch,” Blaire laughed.

“Good,” Lulu smiled before taking another bite. 

“Slow down before you choke, honey.”

Lulu made a face and continued to wolf down her food. Blaire couldn’t do anything but laugh at her little girl. Her sweet daughter. It was hard for her to come to terms with the fact that soon enough she would start really asking questions about her father. 

So far she’d been able to dodge any question Lucy asked about him. Somehow, it had been easy to lie to her. But Blaire knew that time would soon be over, and she would have to tell her daughter the truth sooner or later. Which meant finding him and telling him the truth too. 

They both deserved to know. Blaire knew that. But the thought of them knowing made her chest hurt. She couldn’t imagine the look on his face when he found out, she didn’t want to imagine it really. But she knew that time was running out. 

“C’mon kiddo,” Blaire said, putting money down on the table, “Let’s get going.”

They were hand in hand again on their way out, when Blaire ran into a strong body. She stumbled back. The man in front of her reached out, catching her arms to steady her for a moment. 

“Mom, you okay?” Lucy grabbed ahold of her mom too. 

“I’m fine honey,” Blaire replied, giving her daughter a small smile. 

“Blaire?” The man questioned, eyes widening. 

His head spun, the little girl, who wasn’t so little, called her mom. Which meant if this was Blaire, she had a daughter. A teenager by the look of it. He swallowed hard. He knew those eyes, because they were his own. 

“Holy shit.”

“Mom?” Lucy questioned before looking between her mom and the man. 

She saw it then, the way her eyes matched his. How they had the same cock to their head. Lucy was a smart girl, maybe too smart for her own good. She could see it in the way her mother looked between her and the man. In the way her mom held onto her hand even tighter. Lucy couldn’t help it, she was staring into the eyes of her father, and it seemed like he didn’t quite know it himself. 

“Holy fuckin shit,” Lucy mumbled. 

“Lucielle Grace!” Blaire hissed. 

But then it was his turn, staring into the face of the girl who looked just like him, and the woman he loved more than life itself, “Holy shit.”

That made three. Mother, Father, and daughter, all stunned to be in one another’s presence at long last.

In a panic, the second she heard the man speak her name, sounding so broken and shocked, she grabbed her daughter and pulled her out of the restaurant, not stopping to look back.

He followed them of course, forgetting the lunch date he had. He would apologize to his old friend later. This was more important, this was Blaire. His Blaire. The one girl he could never get out of his head. The one that he still carried a photo of whenever he flew. Because she was his, even if she broke his heart almost fourteen years ago.

"Blaire!" He called, trying to catch up with her.

She slowed when she saw her car come into view. He would catch them there and then there would be no more running away. She licked her lips and stopped, grabbing her daughter's other hand.

"I need you to go wait in the car," She told Lulu, not looking away from her green eyes.

"Mom who is that guy?" Lucy was worried that he was some creep, here to try to hurt her mom.

Maybe he was one of the Tinder dates gone wrong. The ones that Blaire always seemed to be too quiet after she came home from them. Or maybe he was one of the good dates that Blaire blew off because of Lucy, because she was too scared to bring anyone else into their lives.

"Please Lu, go wait in the car," Blaire begged, "It's okay, I promise."

The man was getting closer, almost reaching them when Lucy finally agreed and made her way to the older 4runner parked in a far space under a tree.

Blaire only had a moment before he was on her, grabbing her shoulder to gently turn her around. She didn't force herself to look up at him, knowing she wouldn't be able to handle the look in his eyes when she did.

He was always much smarter than he liked to let on, he had to have put the pieces together. He had to know that he was just staring into the face of his daughter.

God...his daughter. Even thinking it made Blaire shiver. This was never supposed to happen. That's why she moved to Virginia, far enough away from Annapolis or Texas.

"It's you," He breathed out, holding her at arm's length, "God, Blaire, it's really you."

She keeps her eyes tightly closed, too afraid to open them. She want to look at him though, she's aching to see the man he's become. How much he's changed from the boy she once knew. But she still can't bring herself. She can't even speak.

"Say something, please," he begs her, bending down to try to catch her eye.

"Jake," She breathes out, almost like a sigh. It cuts him to the bone to hear her say his name again.

"Who was the girl?" He asks, even though he somehow already knows exactly who she was.

Her eyes open now, looking up to meet the same green eyes that her daughter has. His brows were furrowed in the exact same way, just like the way he was cocking his head to the side. They were so alike and yet they never officially met.

She swallowed the thick lump growing in her throat, "That was my daughter."

He breathes out, like he'd been kicked square in the gut, "She had my eyes."

That's all he could think to say. Because every time he blinked he kept seeing her looking up at him with the eyes that mirrored his own. The same way he had his mother's eyes, and she had her mother's eyes. There was no denying there was some semblance between the two.

"Jake-"

"Blaire," he said urgently, "She had my eyes."

"I don't-"

"How old is she?" He asks, taking a step forward.

"Thirteen," Blaire nearly winces as she says it.

He does the math in his head. It'd been nearly fourteen years since they last saw one another. She broke up with him out of the blue and moved away weeks later, never to be heard from by any of the Seresins again. Now here she is with a thirteen year old who looked just like her, aside from small little details. Like how she had freckles dotting her nose, just like Jake and his sister's had when they were younger.

"Is she mine?" He asks her, almost afraid of the answer.

"Jake, please," She begs so quietly.

"Blaire, is she mine?" He asks again.

She licks her dry lips and tried to gather the courage. This was never meant to happen. She was never supposed to see him again, and he was never supposed to know about having a child. Jake Seresin was supposed to go about his life without her tying him down with a little girl. But it seemed like fate had other ideas

"Yes."

[aonungyou-shit]

Hi!! , I just read one of your fics and absolutely loved 🥰 I’ve never requested anything before but I saw that you’re are open so here goes nothing…

A Tsu’tey x reader ( jakes younger sister) who was one of the first dream walkers who was sent ahead of her brother and went to graces school to learn along side the children of the clan who they had hoped would be seen as less of a threat and could lean more and get abetter footing in the clan for them , when the school was attacked the reader ran away scared of what the rda was capable of asking the clan for help and since she was still considered a child they took her in when jake gets to there he’s told his sister had died and instead he comes to find her alive within in the clan mated to Tsu’tey and with a family of her own but she’s terrified of her brother

Hi Hi so so terribly sorry its taken me this long to respond! That is an excellent idea and i wish to kiss your brain because the FLAVOR this has is mwah! I hope you enjoy this

Actually i quiet enjoyed this a little too much.

To Lose, To love, To be afraid

When you came here Around four years now you were fresh to the world of possibilities. You were 17 one of the youngest personal that had been selected for the avatar program. Down on your luck you reluctantly joined. You had never seen yourself live the life you currently had.

You were clumsy at your feet in your new body and new height. Young was your avatar too. Seeing as how some older avatars and Na'vi were just taller than you. Dr. Augustine had been your guide in your new life. The school had been running for 8 years successfully and you were new to said studies. Lucky for herself and you, you were quick to learn.

You were always by yourself. never really fully talking to anyone the first few months. But then Neytiri was the first one to speak to you. You spoke to her sometimes until one day where she caught you outside of school following the gentle flowing of an Atokirina

"what do here Sully?" She asked you stopping you from following any further. It wasn't until she spoke that you realized just how far you were from the RDA camp.

"oh Pardon me. I guess i just got too caught up in Pandora's beauty"

From then on you continued to talk as if you were nothing else than sisters. She has made great company while you were extremely homesick and missing your only family Jake and Tom.

then Came Sylwanin and Tsu'tey. You knew they came to school. Tsu'tey sometimes when ever given the chance and you had grown to really grow fond of them. A little circle.

Grace had been happy that you had made such progress within the year. You were shown how to hunt, what and what you shouldn't eat. You were being taught much more than grace could teach. Little by little the earth you knew as your home was now a long forgotten past.

And then tension grew. You were dining waiting for Sylwanin and Neytiri when you heard the hushed whispers of the Omatikayan

"Sky demons do not belong here, Walk in a suit of flesh and plan to take over our way of life, We must do something"

"Do not be foolish. Hush your howling and continue to eat least of all do not cause trouble"

"I just think we should speak to One of them. they continue to destroy our land, coming here not knowing what to do"

You felt guilty yes, Felt like this could all be your fault and yet you knew that it wasn't the case. You were just here lucky to be one of the people to hopefully unite humans and Na'vi people.

But the fates are cruel and unkind.

Somehow without your Knowledge Sylwanin and a few other hunters had Destroyed what Humans saw most valuable than some 'savage' lives.

In turn causing one of your friends to die. With a broken cry you yelled helping Dr. Grace to get the remaining children out alive. And with it you ran way with them too.

Your heart sank when you realized that somehow you had managed to drag Sylwanin's body back to the people. Begging Praying that somehow she could still be alive.

Heartbreakingly that would never be the case. Mo'at's cries or anguish, Eytukan's wails of rage and the silent sobs of Tsu'tey and Neytiri was all you could hear. You wanted to cry. Hell you did cry, But your crying could never be the same as them. Life is sacred. You had learned that now. So many lives were lost. You knew that sooner or later you would have to wake up from this horrible sight and awaken in your human body.

But all you did was beg and cry with the family that this was not the way it should go. You spoke that if they banished you. If they sought to kill you then you wouldn't mind. A life for a life.

However Neytiri refused. Knowing that you had done all you could to save her people's children and bringing back what was sacred to her family clan.

You were young. You were like a baby and for that reason perhaps too had Mo'at allowed you to stay.

But you could never let go of this guilt. You told them that you came here to seek peace to hopefully live united. But humans can be cruel and no doubt would never see anything wrong with killing sentient living beings.

For humans can be selfish and don't see people as people. But obstacles.

You swore that you were of the people. That you would do what you can with your human body to help the Omatikayan people. But you knew maybe not all of them trusted you. You had grown wary of what you say or that of how you speak.

When you awoken in your human body you went to console Dr. Augustine. Who in her heart break yelled and screamed that what they did was detrimental to what they were trying to accomplish.

But her status meant nothing to men with power.

Threatening her to silence.

"How are the people" she asked you sometimes when you came back from your walking with the Na'vi. And you relied what information you could. Wary of prying ears.

It was only weeks and already You had before one of the people. You would soon be able to make Your bow from home tree. Neytiri congratulating you. and begrudgery Tsu'tey as well.

He Grew to like you once before. But after the death of his promised he had grown to be avoidant of you. Heartbreak was a rather hard thing to get over. You can deny it all you want but you had lost two friends that day.

"You did well" He spoke to you.

You couldn't shake the feeling the immense guilt. The spark was brighter yes but it was anger, discomfort hatred for what you once were.

"are you well?"

"I am, You have proven yourself to be with us"

"That is not what i mean Tsu'tey"

He bit his lip. Ears flattening as he looked at you. You were once what he hated. But it never was your fault. He couldn't forgive that which was only ever filled with greed.

But you weren't to blame. and he could not be angry. For better or for worse things happen as Eywa deems it to happen. He lost someone and in turn found someone with you.

"It keeps me up at night"

"im so sorry"

"do not apologize, You were never the one to blame." he spoke hand now resting on your shoulder. " you and i are one in the same now. You are one mighty fine warrior. I am sure if you were to choose a mate then they will be lucky to hold you"

" i dont think i deserve such thing"

"why? did someone say something like that? just say the word."

You couldn't help but laugh just a little as you sat down. It would be a while before neytiri would call you to receive your paint and be celebrated as that of the people so you could only figure to kill time

"once, Back home"

"Someone said that to you?"

"Yes. But i hold no ill will no malice. Perhaps they are right"

"none sense! Y/n you are mighty and you are strong! Who ever said that is foolish"

You saddened a little. To have someone say that it was different. It felt nice to be told you were something that you never saw yourself as. "Humans are cruel"

"i know"

"Humans kill each other. they kill that of what gives life. Our mother's dead. She died a long time ago and we killed her. Tsu'tey if i am honest i dont want to return. I don't ever want to blindly follow that who brings sorrow and destruction. Tho i know i cannot leave my human body behind." You didnt know where this was coming from.

But he just sat there and listened to your troubles.

" i think it be cruel to leave my potential mate while i live with humans one moment and return the next. That is not right i know it. To be without your other at night. Its dreadful to think about"

Tsu'tey listened to that and somewhere deep in him. Something enlightened. Some crazy idea. he would bring it to mo'at once you had chosen your mate.

However somewhere inside him he began to frown. Was he angry, no he was..lost. Truly he had never held romantic feelings for anyone but Sylwanin and even then it was solely cause he had so much time to try and develop something for her.

Once he was chosen to be her's well he saw no greater honor then to burry his thoughts of choosing someone for him, and here you were disassembling everything he build up.

However now he was promised to Neytiri and while he saw her as a younger sister he had taken that role too. Eywa had her plans. But had she placed you right here in front of him? making his heart beat a little more for you than anyone else?

"Do not worry im sure something will work out"

"Ah Sully there you are" Neytiri said now looking at Tsu'tey and then at you. "good Tsu'tey can help too"

He frowned a little before sitting in front of you and Neytiri behind you.

Your eyes were down cast as you felt the two Na'vi paint you. Not wanting to think too much. There was a lot to think about but that would be all for tonight.

Tsu'tey was having trouble however. How could someone he have hated for being a demon now become someone he longed to protect too? no. You weren't a demon now.

His fingers now lingered on your lips as you stared at him. his eyes staring at where his fingers remained. Before looking at your eyes.

You were uncanny and yet not at the same time. Your eyes were just a little smaller than theirs. Your lips a little fuller than theirs. Your figure was just the tad bit more fuller. You were a dream walker yes.

"You are Omatikayan now"

you wanted to cry a little. but didnt want to ruin the paint before the ceremony.

But once you returned to your human body you didn't tell Grace. You could not tell her. Even if you trusted her. For you were going to try something absolutely insane with the help Of Tsu'tey.

-*-*-*-*-*-

"Y/n Sully is dead" Was all grace got suddenly when your lifeless body came back. Your mask hanging off your face where no doubt this planets atmosphere had killed you.

She wept of course but pushed on as to guide the new people But she mourned you as she had Sylwanin, as she mourned the many Na'vi children who caller her Sa'nok.

You were happy. You had lived 2 full years with the Omatikayan people. In your once fake body now your fully in soul and mind. In those first few months of being fully Na'vi Eywa seemed to test you. You weren't strong like these Women You had always left the fighting to your two older brothers. So you took up the role of a gatherer.

But you were mighty as Tsu'tey had said. Which caused him to seek guidance within The Tsahik and Olo'eyktan. He didn't want to dissapoint them he hadn't wished to grow to fond of you. But you had helped save many children. You adored your role now that you were of the people.

And he could not deny his feelings anymore. He wanted to have you if you would ever so much as liked to have him too.

You had been out when Neytiri had brought you back. Your basket filled with goods as you entered Tsahik's hut.

"Oel ngati kameie, Mo'at" You greeted. Setting your basket in between you and her. Her gaze was one that had looked through you a lot of times. one that before had caused a chill to run up your spine.

That time she had seen you.

She told you what Tsu'tey has asked. She had never seen him be serious like he had been in asking, pleading with her to be with you instead. She understood that Her remaining Heir did not love Tsu'tey and so with guidance from Eywa she let it be.

You would not take long to return those feelings. And it wasn't long after that of which you two had mated that you fell pregnant. Life was not as it once was for the Omatikayan people. Never had a sky demon infultrated their clan and lived along side them.

It wasn't as it once was. The threat of the RDA still rose high. And yet you had welcomed a healthy baby boy into pandora.

That had been almost six months ago and counting. Tonight you had decided to accompany Neytiri in her hunt. Tsu'tey had been reluctant of course, Having to take care of a six month old and then you with your prominent belly full of your second child.

However as night fell You watched as Neytiri pointed to a figure.

You looked from where you stood. An Avatar. It caused your body to run cold. You had not seen an Avatar in over two years. But never the less you followed Neytiri's lead.

Jake Had been told that you had lost your life due to the harsh world of Pandora. Now left alone in this cruel life. Tom and yourself lost to this world that he wanted to help conquer. He hadn't seen your body. But Dr. Augustine had been frank with him. This oxygen killed you.

The Training killed Tom. And now facing off the dangers he was going to get killed too.

Within a blink he had seen two fierce figures jump to his aid. Slaying that of which he could never understand. Before stopping to thank one.

Then They turned to look at him.

"Don't Thank, You do not Thank for this. This is sad" She spoke with vigor as she had been furious.

Jake Turned to look at you and in that instant you felt your body run cold.

"you... Jake or Tom?" you asked between a hushed tone as you looked at said Avatar.

"Y/n? but. But your dead! Dr. Augustine said you were she saw you, you were dead" he exclaimed. At that tone you instantly knew.

Marine. It was Jake and maybe that's why that sinking feeling of fear dropped to your stomach.

Jake knew your features. They were one of a kind. He knew instantly he did and yet it made no sense as to how you were here in front of him. How were you alive when you were dead? You died two years ago did you not? meaning you were now twenty one? but how could it be

how is it possibly to continue to live once you died.

"Quiet!" Neytiri spoke breaking you out of your haze as she began to ask you in Na'vi to come. To let him be lost to the forest. With fear in your heart you did. Running ahead of her and by default Jake as he tried to reach you to talk to you. Trying to get answers and thank you at the same time.

You wanted to retort back before you stopped. The great mother that had guided you here long ago now there she was. Floating gracefully down to your brother.

which he then swatted at.

"Kehe!" You yelled

"Ftang nga!" Neytiri retorted.

Jake Paused before trying to swat again.

"Rutxe. No" Neytiri said now holding his arm as she was the one closest to him. "Atokirina!"

You looked at each other in awe as more seem to go down around him. "Atokirina.."

Neytiri turned to you now. "Lolu Aungia"

Biting back the fear you felt you nodded as you helped guide Jake back. Neytiri telling him to follow.

And when Jake would wake once again in his human body he had quiet a bit to tell back.

-*-*-*-*-*-

When Dr. Augustine was welcomed back to the clan She sought you our first and foremost. She could not believe what jake had told her. It was impossible to believe. That an Avatar was no longer that but a breathing conscious body that once was human.

Moreover she could not believe when She had tried educating Jake on the roles of the people that Tsu'tey no longer was the next Olo'eyktan in line. She could not believe that you were now a mated pair

She was morbidly curious about your offspring too. So once she had gotten permission from Mo'at she went to talk to Tsu'tey.

How big he had gotten. How strong he was.

"Tsu'tey, Oel ngati kameie" She greeted him formally before he turned to look at her

"Sa'nok! Oel ngati kameie, how long its been"

She agreed and Asked him to sit down and talk. And talk they did. She asked how life had been treating him and if he was happy. And once that was all she apologized.

"Forgive me for what they done to Sylwanin"

"Don't fret. It is not your blame." He spoke reassuring her "she lives within our great mother now."

"yes i know...How, no.. is it true that you and Y/n have.."

"It is. She has bore me one strong son. And we await the arrival of our newest member of our family clan"

As if right on time you barged into your home. A babe strapped to your chest resting atop your swollen bump. and a basket resting on your hip.

"Y/n!" Grace spoke without even thinking. hugging you tight. Ever so grateful that Jake's words ran true. You were alive. You were spared.

"Grace?"

"You're alive."

You couldn't help but smile. Trying to hug her as best as you can before your son began to fuss.

"oh Shit sorry" she excused herself seeing the little tot fuss at suddenly being squashed.

"What is his name?"

"Tsaro Rongloa Tsu'tey'itan." You proudly stated Sitting down finally to let yourself rest.

Dr. Augustine stayed and spoke with you two. Far longer than you had thought you may have allowed before she had to leave. Leaving you and Tsu'tey to speak.

"Something troubles you"

"i am afraid as to Why Jake is here"

Tsu'tey rose a brow.

"you've seen first hand how the RDA are. And what greed does to them. My brother was a marine when i left and he came here armed. And i know he is family but i am afraid"

"i dont like him either. He is a threat to my family"

You smiled feeling his large hand on your growing bump. Looking down at your son.

Your fear was justified. You lost friends and people to the RDA. And if what jake told you was true about Tom. Then you had lost family too.

Your fears were Tsu'tey's but you felt safe within his embrace, unbeknownst to you however Jake would be what would bring you peace one day.

======================

please excuse if my ages make no sense. I really couldnt see how to mathmatically make it make sense so im sorry if it troubles anyone.

EITHERWAY i do hope you enjoyed it

[queeniesblog]

Desires of The Heart and Body

Pairing: Z x Carmi(Fem Favor!OC)

Word Count: 12.2k

Warnings: Smut

Synopsis:

Thankfully, Z grabbed Carmi's chin and forced her to look directly into his heated eyes. Oh how beautiful they were, she lovingly sighed in silence. Swirls of shimmering gold, crimson as red as rubies and a dash of violet beneath a mess of soft hair hypnotically entranced her, keeping Carmi hanging off of the demon’s every word.

“Do not,” Z growled, glaring down at the dark skinned woman as his tail began to curl around her throat. “Even think about those humans in my presence. Not your pathetic little friends, not your insignificant little ex, and definitely not that sniveling, annoying blue haired idiot.”

Carmi could feel herself trembling, but not from fear. Oh, never from fear. But she wished that it was, for fear would be a far less shameful emotion to have at this moment.

‘Jesus, sweet Jesus,’ Carmi silently prayed to a god she knew would not listen. ‘Please, please, please, do not let this man find out how attractive his voice is. I’ll never hear the end of it.’

Notes: Welcome to the first fanfic I have for planned for the VN Favor! Before the story starts, I would like to give a special shoutout to @concreteparasite for not only creating Z, but also developing this amazing VN that will NOT leave my head. I also would like to give another massive shoutout to zackvalence for absolutely killing this VA role and really bringing Z to life. And finally, I would like to give a big, big shoutout to @winged-self-indulgence for helping me, inspiring me and giving me the courage to actually publish this massive fic. Diya if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have the balls to post this. Please enjoy!

AO3 Link

“...finally I gave up and recommended some simple tips to get better rest: don’t ingest caffeine or alcohol, avoid any tech when getting ready for bed, try lowering the room temperature… You know, things like that.” Carmi’s dark eyes flickered to her drink as she remembered the conversation that took place earlier in the day with her creepy coworker at the movie theater they both worked at. It was already bad enough that Alvin just couldn’t(or wouldn’t at this point) take the hint and give up on his crush on her. A crush that was unreciprocated as Carmi had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who she had told everyone about multiple times. A boyfriend who made her happy. A boyfriend who was…

Listening to her story about her day at this very instant.

“Then I told him if all that didn’t work, then he should just hit up his GP and ask about using some zolpidem or eszopiclone.”

“Hmph.” Z’s face, which was usually a mixture of adorably cute and devilish handsome, had scrunched up in annoyance at the mention of her human co-worker. The demon made no efforts to hide his intense dislike of Alvin. But then again, it didn’t appear to be personal as Z didn’t seem to like anyone in her “friend group”. Maybe that was a red flag. Or, it would be if Carmi didn’t also start to carry an ever growing dislike of her supposed ‘friends’. 

“You should have left him to suffer his fate. That would have been much more entertaining.” Z seemed to perk up at the thought of Alvin having to suffer multiple sleepless nights. Dizzy, disoriented and having to endure splitting headaches every single waking moment. As tempting as it was to ignore Alvin and leave him to suffer, Carmi was worried about him. Not because she cared about her co-worker(quite the opposite really) but more so, concerned that if his mental state deteriorated any further, there was no telling what Alvin could do. As easy as it was to simply wave off Alvin of being incapable of committing horrible actions due to his personality alone, it was better safe than sorry. Carmi would rather deal with a minor annoyance now, than a massive problem later.   

“Hmm.. at least he has good tastes in candies.” Carmi rolled the strawberry bon-bon between her dark fingers. At least helping people sometimes had its perks. Even if Alvin was an annoying, creepy, incel of a stalker, at least he had a general idea of what she liked. “It's one of his few redeeming qualities.”

“Few?” Carmi could already hear Z’s unspoken question of ‘He has ANY redeeming qualities?’

“I mean, as much as I don’t personally like the guy, Alvin isn’t the worst person I’ve had to work with…” Carmi thought long and hard about the many group projects she had to endure in her younger school days. Unfortunately, being the quiet kid with the best grades often meant that her classmates were going to be as useful as a broken candy coated jizz-filled condom.

“He pulls his weight, he doesn’t do things that would get me in trouble, and when I ask him to do something, he does it.” Carmi listed off, oblivious to the demon’s growing ire. “Yeah… he’s not a bad partner at all.”

Carmi swirled the chilled brandy around, as if the sound of the liquid hitting against the glass would help calm her thoughts. Carmi had been in romantic relationships before- first with Jay and then her recent ex, Xander. Feeling sexual desires for another wasn’t new territory for her, hell, even having sex wasn’t. But she had never felt it with such intensity, such ferocity . It was as if the make-out session Carmi had shared with the fiend had unlocked some sort of floodgate. When they were together, it was bad enough, but at least Carmi could distract herself with the endless entertainment that Z provided. He was very good at distracting her from her problems after all.

When they were apart however?

The dark skinned woman knew from the moment that she looked for Z’s adorable dimple whenever he smiled, that she was done for. And unsurprisingly, her hypothesis had been one-hundred percent correct. Whenever the two could not be around each other, it was like utter agony . All she wanted to do was spend time with Z, or talk and text him to see how he was doing when they couldn’t be hanging out. It had even affected her emotionless persona at her job. If there was any time that Carmi didn’t need to use her brain on the job, she would simply sigh and mentally moan about how much better it would be if Z was with her, or she with him. In the back of her head, all Carmi could constantly think about was her boyfriend- his shit eating smile showing off his sharp teeth and split tongue, the smell of whiskey and smoke that curled around his body, his dangerously honey sweet voice, his eyes, his memorizing eyes…

Carmi mentality slapped herself aside the head. She was becoming too clingy. This way of thinking was downright creepy and had gotten to such a bad point that Carmi had bought a black silk choker with an oval shaped pendant. But not just any necklace. No, it was a gorgeous fire stone opal that shimmered beautifully, with the same colors of Z’s eyes. It had cost her a pretty penny too- but when she had first seen it while window shopping on one of her few off days, it was like the dark skinned woman had blacked out. Before Carmi could even register what was going on, the bagged and paid for necklace was already in her hand with the shopkeeper waving her goodbye. She resisted the urge to kick herself as she quickly strode her way back home. Why, why had she done that?! 

Carmi's eyes flickered to the agitated demon as she once again stewed over her thoughts. No, she knew why she had bought the damn necklace. She hated to admit it but… the thought of wearing something that subtly showed just who she belonged to sent a pleasant tingling chill down her spine. God, that was so embarrassing to admit. It was even more embarrassing to admit she was wearing the dang thing! Not that Z had made the connection thankfully. Or… did she want him to notice? A non-verbal symbol of her devotion to him. Would Z like it if they had known just how badly she wanted to be marked by him…?

The small candy felt warm in her hands. Carmi didn’t feel like eating the sweet, nor answering any of the questions she had asked herself. Besides, the woman could see how annoyed her companion had gotten at the mention of her coworker. 

“Uhhh, I don’t really want to eat any sweets right now.” Carmi placed the candy on the table in front of the fiend. She didn’t want to risk touching him, as any physical contact might have emboldened her to ask Z if he wanted to grope her ass or chest. “You can have it if you want-” 

Z swiftly flicked the candy across the table and onto the floor. Or rather, attempted as Carmi quickly intervened, blocking the action with her hand. The strawberry bon-bon rolled pitifully onto the floor.

“Z… why would you do that?”

“It had a bug on it.” Z lied. Carmi sighed and narrowed her eyes at the demon as she pointed a finger at him.

“Listen Z. I don’t know what type of demonic mumbo jumbo you have going on where literally no one reacts to our presence,” Carmi started to lower herself to receive the abandoned candy. “But I was raised to always clean up after myself when I went out to eat. It is never okay to leave a mess!”

“Really now?” Carmi couldn’t see all of Z’s face, but she could practically hear his eyebrow raising. She thought about what she said a bit more as she hummed thoughtfully.

“Hmmm… not really, no. They were pretty abusive to the waiter staff now that I think about it.” Carmi rested her chin on the table. “Not the point though. I always clean up any mess that I make.” 

“Awww, look at you being such a good girl Carmi.” Z cooed as if she was an adorable pet. A tiny shiver nearly ran through her body but she suppressed the sensation. She was getting quite good about doing that around Z now. 

‘Yeah, I’ll be your good girl any day of the week.’ Carmi thought to herself. 

“Haha, yeah! Right back at you, your highness!” Carmi nervously laughed as the woman practically dove underneath the table to hide the blood rushing to her face.

‘Right back at you? RIGHT BACK FUCKING AT YOU?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!’ The urge to slam her head on the wall in frustration was immense. ‘WHY THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?!’

She wanted Z so, so incredibly badly that at this point, it was making her look fucking stupid. And even though it caused her spikes of shame to run rampant throughout Carmi’s body, it did nothing to rein in the borderline animalistic urges she felt towards the demon. The thoughts about Z couldn’t be stopped at this point.

But… would she want them to stop?

True, it had become difficult for Carmi to rein in her lustful urges. It was if every time she managed to squander one depraved thought about the demon, two more would pop up. They would whisper temptations in her mind, recounting and speculating the possibilities of what could happen if she managed to fuck Z. Each time left Carmi with goosebumps on her dark skin and her feeling like a depraved, dripping mess. But, wasn’t it natural to feel sexual attraction to a romantic partner? Maybe not to this particular degree, but many people had started relationships based on lust and lust alone(they weren’t necessarily good relationships, but that wasn’t the point).   

It wasn’t that she didn’t like being in a relationship with him either. It was in fact, the very opposite. Z had been a breath of fresh air in the piss-filled diarrhea shitstorm that was Carmi’s life. A reprise from all of the worries and fears that plagued her mind. Was it sad to admit that Z had treated her better than anyone else in all of her years alive? Probably, but it wasn't like she had anyone else to tell. The demon was interesting, charming and… surprisingly sweet. He had the ability to distract her from problems she couldn’t immediately fix, or make her laugh so hard that she struggled to breathe. And even when he couldn’t help her with her problems or cheer her up with a joke… Z would just… be there for her. Listen to her worries and offer comfort. They couldn’t fix everything that was wrong in her life, nor did Carmi expect him to. It was the simple fact that he stayed, and supported her that mattered the most. It had felt so foreign and yet so good to know that no matter what, Z had her back, and that she didn’t have to be alone anymore. 

It also didn’t help her that Z was extremely easy on the eyes. Carmi hadn’t even noticed her growing attraction to Z until it was too late. When she had first laid eyes upon him, Z looked… fine. His horns, tail and sharp teeth were such an oddity that it caused her to take a second glance but aside from that, there was nothing particularly notable about him. It was only when Carmi started to grow ever fonder of her demon that she began to take notice of certain features he had. How his brownish black hair curled around his face and horns. Was it always so soft looking? The way that his tail would slow down once the demon was deep in thought was downright adorable. She even took note of how Z even had a cute little dimple on the right side of his face that would appear once he smirked. It was easy to miss, but it was there. Carmi would know considering she stared at it in awe every time it showed. Sometimes, they even gave her cuteness aggression so intense that she just wanted to squeeze him(with both her arms and legs) for the rest of her days. 

In other words, he was stupidly gorgeous.

So why couldn’t she bring herself to finally bang him?

Who was she kidding? Carmi was a terrible flirt and was just as responsible for the lack of intimacy in the relationship as Z. She wanted to, but everytime the opportunity came up, she would just freeze and then laugh it off. And the few times she was bold enough to tease the demon, the courage would disappear faster than her biological parents did once Z retaliated. Why was she like this? She liked Z, she really, really liked him and… Carmi didn’t want to fuck it up somehow.

Suddenly, the idea of hiding underneath the table for the rest of eternity was starting to look very appealing. What if he didn’t like how she looked naked? What if she sounded or said something weird? What if she didn’t pleasure him well enough? So many doubts and worries filled her head that when there was a chance to make a move on him, she restrained herself. But Carmi had needs and was getting desperate at this point. The woman had half a mind to just flash him her fat tits and hoped that it somehow worked out for the both of them.

‘Why won’t you claim me for your own?’ Carmi wanted to ask him. Thinking about Z like that was wrong. But she couldn't help it, and the urges were growing more and more.‘Reach out and take me for yourself? I've dreamed of it. Every single night I have dreamed.’

As her eyes scanned for the discarded candy, Carmi’s thoughts began to wander towards Z once again. She really couldn’t help it. 

Even her own body had become obsessed with him. 

“Fuck…!”

Carmi’s body shuttered and squirmed from the pleasure given to her by her vibrating dildo. Laying on her back, she had one hand on her large chest to play with her tits, twisting and pinching them until they were sensitive. Carmi let out a little whimper as she worked her toy deeper inside with a quiet squelch. What she really wanted to feel was Z sliding two of his fingers deep inside, jackhammering her abused hole. Wanted him to rip off her lacy panties and cram his fat cock inside her, use her like a fleshlight while he moaned about how good she felt. As Carmi got closer and closer to her climax, her brain provided her with new scenarios about Z and she thrusted the toy in deeper.

…Her shoulders on the blanketed floor and her holes pointed up, legs bent as Z furiously pounded into her practically limp body. The position would make Carmi feel vulnerable, exposed and she would love every second of it. Z felt so big and hot that it would feel like her body was melting from the numerous creampies her lover had already so graciously provided her. 

Carmi would then tense up as she reached her own orgasm, the action making the overflowing cum in her twitching hole be pushed out. More and more large pearly droplets would drooled down to hit her bunched-up hem and splashed onto her panting chest with each thrust…

…Or maybe she should ‘conveniently’ forget her panties and spread her legs wide while she wore a shorter dress? That would have to get Z’s attention. Besides, Carmi would love to see the look on his face when  the little fiend had an unrestricted view of her leaking entrance, relaxed and flushed with arousal at their next meetup. The alcohol provided by the bar and the thrill of the exhibition would provide her with all the courage she would need. What would Z do when they noticed? Would he fuck her right there and then on the table…?

No, she should keep the underwear. After all, the idea of Z masturbating while pointing his cock at her crotch so he could cum inside her underwear would get her so hot and bothered. She’d lift up the hem of her dress and hold them between her teeth to better expose her cunt and breasts, just for him. Carmi would love to see Z furiously stroking his cock to the sight of her exposed pussy, flushed and panting like he was a dog in heat. But the feeling of the lashings of pearly cum on her bare mound would feel so much better. Yes… Carmi would love to have something she could feel on her lips all day. Especially if it was from Z…

…Large and heated hands would slip through the spaces between Carmi's arms and firmly gripped her heavy chest at home. A hot mouth settling in the gentle slope between the back of her neck and her shoulder, beginning to leave a trail of kisses and nips in their wake. Carmi would moan and reached back to grasp the demon’s body and horns for support. She’d bet that she would be able to feel his erect cock sliding between her thighs, and grinding himself between her dripping sex as his tail curled around her waist. 

Fuck, she would give anything to have Z swipe his harden shaft through her lips and bump the bottom of her clit, pace growing in intensity as they both reached their peaks. She would flex her thighs around his dick as they both came. Z would be able to feel her tremble with an orgasm of her own, her pussy spasming on top of his cock and she wanted to feel Z slamming his hips against her ass a final time as he spurted rope after rope of hot cum onto her waiting hands in turn. After all, she couldn’t allow a single drop of Z’s load be wasted…

…The two locked in a passionate embrace, Carmi on her back, ankles locked around the demon’s hips, while Z was mounting her, thrusting deeply and drinking Carmi’s ecstatic noises with a deep kiss. He’d hold her in his arms and moan lovingly in her ear about how she was made for him, nobody could take her from him and how they were meant to be-   

Carmi rode out her climax with a wail of pleasure, imagining it was Z who was bringing her to completion instead of some large silicone toy. After regaining control over her labored breaths, the heated pleasure that she felt turned into an icy bath of shame that washed over Carmi. What did she just do?  She had just felt so lustful and pent up in the moment that she… 

The reality of what had occurred set in and she felt something well up in her flushed body. Not shame, but frustration. Even though Carmi had orgasmed, it brought her little relief from the burning well of desire within her. It didn’t seem to matter if she fucked a plethora of people or pleasured herself with the newest sex toys, the end result would be the same. The feeling of being unfulfilled as all she could think about was Z.

Z, giggly and ecstatic as her dog licked his cheek. Z, warm and relaxed under the soft light of the bar. Z, annoyed and adorable as he lost their numbers game. Carmi wanted to love Z, be loved by Z, make love with Z, Z, Z, Z -

The glint of a shiny candy wrapper caught Carmi’s gaze, pulling her away from the depths of her memories. Great. Now she was kind of horny. Again . Back to square one. Crawling towards the strawberry bon-bon as it(ironically) laid near Z’s boots, Carmi slipped it into her jacket pocket. She’d make sure to throw it away when she’d return home. Or maybe she should find a trash bin here…? Carmi really didn’t want her dog to go looking for a forbidden treat that came with a trip to the vet. Knowing him, he wouldn’t even need to smell it. He'd just assume the young woman had something on her and start searching. Carmi blamed Z for that.

‘Okay, now I just need to… to…’ Carmi’s thoughts trailed off as she realized what position she was in. She was nearly touching the demon’s knees and past his thighs was his…

‘NO!’ Carmi mentally yelled at her brain. She wanted to force it back on track and never mention this day again. ‘ Stop it! We can’t be weird!’

But it was too late as her head had heard the name ‘Z’ and lost all ability to reason with logic. Carmi couldn’t get a good sight on his bulge from where she was, but it looked like it was on the larger size. What did he sound like when he was being pleasured? Carmi already found Z’s voice to be lovely, but she knew it would sound even better if he was whimpering from overstimulation. Was his cum more watery or was it thick and creamy? Oh, she hoped he cummed buckets. Carmi would be willing to bet money that Z giving her a nice and deep creampie would feel utterly amazing . Orgasming was the best part certainly, but Carmi liked to enjoy the tension and journey of reaching her high. Would the fiend be a selfish lover? She couldn’t imagine it, considering Z had been surprisingly so attentive to her needs. The hot, weighted feeling of her lust for Z sunk down the bottom of her stomach as she squeezed her aching thighs. For a single second, Carmi even wondered how he tasted …

Suddenly, as quick as a viper, Z’s tail wrapped itself around Carmi’s dry throat, pulling her closer to him. Despite its slim appearance, the thing was just as strong as any other part of his body, and it didn’t stop until her head was practically on one of Z’s thighs. He was already man spreading, so Carmi tried really hard not to think about the position she was in. 

Key word “tried.”

‘DO NOT LOOK AT HIS DICK PRINT CARMI.’ She was practically screaming in her head at this point, begging her brain to listen to her just this one time. ‘FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT FUCKING LOOK AT IT. HE WILL NEVER LET US LIVE IT DOWN IF WE GET CAUGHT STARING.’   

Thankfully, Z grabbed Carmi's chin and forced her to look directly into his heated eyes. Oh how beautiful they were, she lovingly sighed in silence. Swirls of shimmering gold, crimson as red as rubies and a dash of violet beneath a mess of soft hair hypnotically entranced her, keeping Carmi hanging off of the demon’s every word.

“Do not,” Z growled, glaring down at the dark skinned woman as his tail began to curl around her throat. “Even think about those humans in my presence. Not your pathetic little friends, not your insignificant little ex, and definitely not that sniveling, annoying blue haired idiot.”    

Carmi could feel herself trembling, but not from fear. Oh, never from fear. But she wished that it was, for fear would be a far less shameful emotion to have at this moment.

‘Jesus, sweet Jesus,’ Carmi silently prayed to a god she knew would not listen. ‘Please, please, please, do not let this man find out how attractive his voice is. I’ll never hear the end of it.’

Carmi was so entranced by his voice, that it took her a second to register what Z had said. Instantly, whatever spell over her had broken and her jaw nearly dropped to the floor in shock.

“I’m not, and I’m borderline offended that you think that I would be thinking about that creep!” Carmi scoffed. She also wanted to roll her eyes, but she squashed the urge down. Honestly, she was more confused than anything. What on earth would Z have gotten the idea that the one she was thinking about was Alvin?

“Demon, remember?” Z tapped their horns, silver rings shining brightly. Carmi frowned, looking up at them, confusion swirling in her head. Why was Z bringing that up now? It wasn’t like it was hard to forget that he was a fiend from the literal pits of hell. What did that have to do with situation at all-

Oh. Oh.

Carmi felt heat flushing to her face for the second time that night. Z could have probably sensed how… excited she was getting underneath the table, which was extremely embarrassing. But that still didn’t answer the question of why Z mentioned her co-worker specifically . Was it something Carmi had said? She had mentioned a few things she thought were good about him, sure, but every other single time the guy was brought up, her distaste for him was clear as day. That was even if Carmi brought up Alvin at all, which she rarely ever did.     

“Z, Alvin is not the cause of this!” Carmi hissed. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as she tried to stutter out a response. “I-it’s…”

“Hmmm?” 

Her face was practically on fire at this point. Why wouldn’t she just spit out the truth? Carmi thought about it, confessing about… everything she had been feeling. The insides of Carmi’s guts churned as if they were the deep, oily waters of a terrifying storm. She did want him in that way, lord knows she couldn’t stop thinking about it. So why hadn’t she? Z was kind, he was funny, he was sweet… they were practically the perfect boyfriend, even if they loved to ramble on about arson. His many odd quirks just made him all the more charming. Carmi felt her heart let out an affectionate squeeze. She loved him. And insecurities be damned, she was going to show it.

In an instant, Carmi made up her mind. She was finally going to fuck Z.

Trying to calm herself before she fell into an anxiety fueled breakdown, Carmi looked straight at Z.  

Z stared at her.

She stared at Z.

The flat spade shaped tail began to lightly slap Carmi on the forehead and nose. 

“Hey-wait! Z, cut it ou- will you stop?!?” She spat out, her eyes closed as Z promptly ignored what she said. Without thinking, Carmi snapped her teeth forward and caught Z’s spade shaped tail in between her fangs. Immediately, Z let out a rough, pitchy gasp that ended in a grunt from the back of the throat, as if he was fighting the urge to moan fully. 

Carmi nearly dropped the tail in pure shock. The gravity of the situation dawned on the heavyset woman and a mixture of fear and arousal combining themselves as one, twisting and squirming as it resided in her stomach. Did she really just put his tail in her mouth? Z had told her(albeit it was under his breath) she could if she wanted to, and god she did. The idea of finally being able to see Z in such a state again only made her heart pound faster. 

“Aww, Dove . Do you need me to fill up your mouth that badly?” Z cooed, a beautiful red blush spreading upon his face. She was amazed that such a tiny action had such a profound effect on him. “If you’re truly that desperate, I can make sure that you put that sweet little tongue to good use.” 

“Yeah, I am.” Carmi bluntly replied. “Can I suck you off Z?”

It was Z’s turn to look dumbfounded once he realized that the woman was serious, clearly not expecting his teasing to work this time. It didn’t stop him from excitedly nodding his head though. Oh fuck, if a simple touch was enough to have her fighting the urge to ask the demon to feel her up with his large, warm hands, then seeing Z leap at the chance for a BJ nearly had her naked on the table with her legs spread from the entrance of the bar to the fire exit. Carmi had to fuck him. Right now.

The stem was nearly as thick as a finger, smooth like rubber, and pleasant against her tongue. Taking the feeling of Z’s hand cradling her head as a more intimate invitation to continue, Carmi lapped the tip in between her teeth. It pressed against her lips and the woman lovingly gave a very light kiss before allowing her lips to part, her tongue dragging it into her maw. Again, Z huffed out a long groan. Her mind spun into a daze. Slowly, gently, Carmi dragged the demon’s tail deeper into her hot mouth. She rubbed it against the roof of her mouth as she could feel it pulsating with Z’s quickening heartbeat. 

Flicking and lapping circles around the piece of flesh, Carmi made a show of sucking on it. The more the woman lavished the fiend’s tail with attention from her tongue, the more Z would let out delicious sounds that started to drive her insane as he thrusted his tail deeper until it hit the back of her throat. Hearing their breathy moans, no doubt enjoying the affection she was giving him, had caused Carmi to become bold enough to feel up his cock. 

Instantly, the woman could feel him harden underneath her touch, could see the swell of his cock straining against the fabric of his pants from her presence. Hot excitement flooded her stomach and she could feel drool pool into her mouth. Swallowing thickly, Carmi’s dark hand quickly unbuttoned his black jeans and once again she felt him stir beneath her touch. Feeling bolder by the second, Carmi’s mouth leaned forward to Z’s pants and slowly, carefully, began to unzip his pants with her mouth.

Finally, Z’s cock sprung free as he was already half-hard, nearly hitting her in the face. A circumcised penis that was much like his fingers, long, thick, and turned black with a red crown. Dribbling precum in her soft hands, Carmi noted that it curved up slightly, in a way that was designed to attack that sensitive spot.

Carmi also noted that it was stupidly fucking massive.

‘What the FUCK?’ Why the hell is he so damn BIG?!’ Carmi asked herself, an incredulous tone weaving itself in her internal dialogue. It wasn’t just the length, but the thickness of it too. Though she felt a spike of panic bolt through her body, Carmi’s outward expression did not visibly change. Could she really take Z’s cock…? Carmi thought back to the many, many toys of differing sizes and shapes hidden in her apartment. If she was horny enough with some good prepping… eh. She probably could. But in the mouth was a different ball game entirely. It wasn’t as if Carmi had been practicing how to take a massive cock down her throat just in case she had the opportunity to suck Z off.

Well.

Maybe she had… but that wasn’t the point! Blowing a dildo was much different than giving one to a person made of flesh and blood. How the fuck was she going to fit this thing in her mouth? She really wanted him to feel good too… Maybe if she had a few more weeks of training her throat underneath her belt, Carmi would be less hesitant.

‘Well… I’ve got to see this through. I’m not backing down now.’ Carmi thought to herself.  She was NOT going to go another day without dick. ‘I wanted to fuck Z, so I’m gonna fuck Z.’

Using just one hand and a whole bunch of lust filled courage, Carmi started to stroke him and palmed the demon’s cock as pre-cum dripped out, running in sticky ribbons alongside the veins of his shaft. Her cameo patterned off-shoulder dress had exposed her large chest, and the bottom of it had begun to ride up her thighs, revealing her wet panties. Even though the thought of Z shooting a nice and large load of hot cum onto her heated flesh made her hornier than she’d like to admit, Carmi did mean what she had said earlier. 

She always cleaned up any mess that she made.

Carmi slowly let her half-lidded eyes fall shut as she parted her plump lips so that she could kiss the head of Z’s hardening cock. 

Hearing the demon take a sharp intake of breath, she began to lovingly pepper small kisses all around the tip. Her steady wanting had quickly evolved into a lustful ache. Carmi wanted to take his hardened shaft in her mouth and feel him slide down her throat. How would it feel to have Z make her jaw ache and her dark eyes water? To feel the shake of his thighs, to hear his moans when he filled her mouth? The heavyset woman was very eager to find out. 

Once Carmi was sure that she had smooched every single bit of the fiend that she could see, she opened her mouth a little wider and sucked on his leaking tip. Rubbing her tongue across his sensitive head, Carmi could hear a stuttering gasp once again catch in Z’s throat. Her tongue licked a hot stripe over their slit as her dark hands began to pump his cock.  

“Thaaaat’s it Dove.” Z rasped out. The larger woman could feel the hand cradling her head tense tightly, sharp nails touching her scalp. “Go on, open up your throat for me.”

Resuming her task with renewed vigor, the eager woman began to run her hot tongue all over his throbbing shaft, licking and slurping at his cock. Then she began to sweep with long moist strokes as she sped up her hands. Lavishing his dick with eager attention, the more effort Carmi put into her blowjob, the hungrier she became. While she was excited for the demon to shoot cum in her mouth, Carmi was in no real hurry as she was pleasantly enjoying the experience of sucking Z off underneath the table.

“Aww, look at you go.” Z practically cooed through the breathless groans of pleasure. ”Such a good human. My good human.”

The excitement from having Z praise her had her body shivering from the anticipation, and her mouth felt just as hot as her clit. She focused on the heat of his stomach, the faint taste of his skin. The scent of smoke and whiskey to spur her on. Pressing her lips against the hairy base of his shaft, the woman could feel his cock oozing precum all the way down her hungry throat and Carmi moaned, the vibrations of her muffled cries had Z becoming louder, groaning in pleasure. His warm hands reached out to her face and stroked it tenderly, lovingly , as Carmi looked up at him, tears welling up from her dark eyes.

“Fuck…! Your mouth feels so damn good sweetheart.” Z was practically panting at this point. “You’re trying so hard to get me all the way down…”

At this point, Z had taken a more… active role. Grabbing her head to guide her mouth on his cock, Carmi simply followed the demon’s lead, licking and sucking as they tangled their claws in her muti-colored hair. Slowly and steadily, Z began to guide her head up and down until he was gently face fucking her, using Carmi’s mouth as nothing more than a glorified fleshlight.

And something about that turned her the hell on.

Carmi wanted Z to use her to reach his own orgasm. She wanted him to throw his head back and shamelessly moan as he emptied himself in her mouth. But most of all, Carmi wanted Z to stroke her face in the same loving manner he had done so before, all while staring down at her with the loveliest pair of heated eyes she had ever seen.     

Carmi shuttered, waves of pure lust raced through her heated body as Z began to speed up his pace. His thrusting became more erratic and wild, body tensing up and the woman trembled in anticipation as much as the demon did. Z’s release was rapidly approaching and she couldn’t wait to finally taste him. Following his lead, Carmi began to pump and suck to match his tempo, her soft lips were slick with his pre-cum, making it easy for her to glide them up and down his shaft.

Z suddenly let out a choked curse as ropes of hot cum hit the back of her throat, Carmi stiffened and pushed down the urge to gag. As her lover continued to thrust his dick into her mouth, Carmi kept sucking voraciously as she gulped down everything their body provided. There was so much more than the woman expected, almost too much. But when the spurting seemed to slowly die down, Carmi practically nursed on the demon’s cock, milking out every last drop of their cum as used her hands to stroke his shaft.

She pulled her mouth away and his black and red cockhead bobbed up and down before her face. Carmi licked her lips and opened her mouth. She wanted to show him how she had drunk every single drop. 

“Did I do a good job?” Carmi asked with a slur in her voice, drunk on the taste of him. Of Z.

The demon was practically caressing her face. She leaned into his loving touch as Z pulled her up. Carmi had become entranced by the way their bodies moved so smoothly in sync. Placing one knee on each side of his legs, the woman slid on top of Z and sat herself snuggly onto his lap, right where she belonged. Through dark, half-lidded eyes, Carmi spread her thighs to encourage Z to have access. Her body was filled with both shame and arousal, and eager for more of his touch.

But Z had never felt shameful and wasn’t going to now, especially with how his human was practically moaning in his lap. Z grabbed her ass and guided Carmi flush against them, her chest to their and her legs parted just enough to straddle their hips. Pulling her in close, their slick tongues slid against each other, hot and insistent, before disappearing into the other’s mouth in a heated french kiss. Z bucked upward against her covered entrance, grinding their throbbing cock against the spot that was dripping wet.  

Carmi moaned into the kiss as she felt a rippling thrill run down through her belly and swirled in waves in her crotch. She could feel her engorged clit. The woman pitifully writhed her body in sync with Z’s, their hips moving against each other, allowing her to relish in the delicious friction. The persistent wet sounds of lips and tongues had left her pussy throbbing with desire and brain a scrambled mess. But she wanted more, no, she needed more.

“Z, I need you… Please?” Carmi tried to whimper as softly as she could. Squeezing Z’s hand before she intertwined with her own(or tried to anyway. She loved how small she felt when her body was near his), Carmi guided it between her breasts where the demon could feel her pulsating heart, slid it down below her quivering belly, and didn’t stop until his hot, black tipped hand was cupping her already dripping slit.

“After all this, of course you're soaked.” Z retorted. The demon didn't hesitate for a second as he pressed two fingers against Carmi’s swollen clit. “Nothing gets you off like being my personal little cum dump, hmmm?”

A jolt of pleasure shot through her body as the demon rubbed her heated mound with their fingers and restless movements, bringing forth a delicious, pulsing warmth into existence. Her body felt empty, as if she wanted something to plunge deep inside her core. As if the demon could read her mind, Carmi could feel Z’s hot fingers sliding down from her clit to the entrance of her hole, rubbing and teasing it before sinking two thin but long fingers in. Her juices were so plentiful that Z’s fingers slid in with ease. The palm of his hand slammed against her pussy, with juices dripping down onto his palm with each thrust.

Soft, pliant, and imbued with a sense of lust and desperation, the two kissed the other over and over with growing wetness and force. Breaking one of their heated kiss left Carmi whining at the loss of contact. Z kept one large and heated hand on her thick waist with the other fingerbanging her. The demon, forward as ever, left an open mouthed kiss to her collarbone and began to suck, most likely intending to leave a bruise. Carmi let out another breathy sigh.

“Z… Can we go back to your place…?” Carmi whispered in his ear, praying that she wouldn’t have to have their first time together on a bar table. Not because she was embarrassed, but more so the thing looked uncomfortable to get fucked on. “I don’t want anyone else to see me like this except you.” She trailed her lips on the edge of his helix before biting it for good measure.

Z muttered a “c’mere” underneath their breath as they grabbed her thighs and picked her up like she weighed nothing, holding her in a way that kept her legs spread wide. Despite not wanting to have a full-blown fucking session in the bar, Carmi couldn’t help herself and squeezed her legs, grinding her clit onto him. She could hear Z grunt in her ear. And for a single moment Carmi felt like she was completely weightless, clinging tightly onto her boyfriend for support as there was an inky blackness that surrounded them- 

The pair of lovers landed softly onto Z’s bed.

There was unmistakable lust in every movement, every flinch, every twitch to their bodies. She moaned and pressed into him more. No matter how close the demon was, would it ever be enough? Carmi wanted to not only hold Z, but to have him bind himself to her soul. The woman wanted to have them intertwine themselves so intensely that they could not ever part, not without losing something integral.

When it was clear he was going to kiss her once more, Carmi didn’t resist. Kissing him back just as passionately, Carmi could barely remember the two throwing their clothes off. Every time they broke apart so Carmi could intake air, another piece of clothing would haphazardly be thrown to the side. She did spot the demon pocketing her thoroughly soaked panties which drove her wild. She’d have to remember to see which ones Z liked the best.

It didn’t take long for the lovers to be completely naked. A tantalizing combination of excitement and arousal pumped through her body. It was really happening, was she really about to have sex with her boyfriend? Carmi didn’t know and for once in her life, she didn’t care either. All Z had to do was lovingly stroke her face and whisper her name with that honey sweet voice of his, and she would fold in an instant. Carmi wanted to feel him, to taste him. To experience the dizzying rollercoaster that was Z with all of his ups and downs.

Carmi’s world shrank to just Z’s embrace as once again, their lips found each other, soft, pliant, and imbued with a sense of lust and desperation. Z eagerly ran his tongue over Carmi’s mouth and vice versa as the two lovers melted into a puddle of needy lust. Moving purely on instinct, Carmi allowed the demon to wrap his warm arms around her soft body and guide her down into the mattress, deepening the kiss while his hand roamed down her arching back. She hooked her thick legs around his hips and locked her ankles, pushing and grinding her crotch against his. He was already rock hard. Carmi could feel it.

‘More.’ Carmi wanted to beg him, her own mind clouded by a sexual fog. Months of pent-up lust had caught flame and was now threatening to boil over. ‘Give me more…!’

But Carmi couldn’t talk. Z was tasting her tongue, licking her lips, and drinking in all of the tiny sounds of pleasure she mewled out. Carmi’s long, black nails dug into his muscular shoulders, threatening to draw blood. They were in their own world and Carmi never wanted to leave it.

Z began to move from her plump lips to her exposed neck, alternating between kisses and nips all the way down until he reached her breasts. He rolled his tongue around them, teasing and sucking the tip of her nipples. They hardened inside his mouth and Z pinched the other one with his finger as Carmi cried out his name again in excitement. Sinking lower, the demon left a trail of kisses and sharp nips down her stomach until he left one directly above her smoldering mound. As Z parted her pillowy thighs, they lowered their head and hungrily gazed down at her leaking slit. Carmi could feel the air as it was sucked in by Z.

Was he… was he smelling her?

He groaned and kept his nose buried against her soaping entrance for a few more moments before he apparently found what he was looking for. Pulling at her dripping folds, the demon spread her pussy wide open with his black tipped fingers, revealing the vulnerable flesh of her throbbing clit. Carmi was amazed at how soft the demon’s lips were as she received a tender kiss to her overheated flesh and then a rough lick with the flat of his tongue that had left her whining for more. 

She was starting to really squirm at this point. Trying her best to keep her eyes on the demon feasting between her legs, Carmi involuntarily throwed her head back in pure, cardinal bliss with a full-throated moan when Z gave her throbbing bud a nice, rough lick. Just like Carmi had suspected, Z felt much better than most of the toys she owned. If this was how good sex felt when they were just using his tongue, Carmi couldn’t wait for the main course.

“S-Shit…! Oh God, Z, your tongue …” She panted out.

Carmi thighs clamped around his head as Z continued their assault.

She grinded herself against his face, shamelessly thrusting into his hot mouth. Z switched between giving Carmi fast attention to her engorged bud, and then slowly fucking her with his dexterous tongue in her clenching hole. The demon fervently drunk up any juices Carmi’s body provided, greedily slurping up every single drop like it was the most exquisite thing he had ever tasted. The sounds were lewd and filthy, and did nothing but bring her closer to the edge.

‘Fuck.’ Carmi cursed at Z in her head. The fiend’s oral was making her release noises that no one had made her cry out before. ‘Stupid demon, with his stupid good-looks and his stupidly long tongue-’

“Ahhha-AH!” Carmi’s body curled at the sudden onslaught of pleasure. It seemed that Z’s tongue had found that oh-so-sensitive spot that resided deep within her cunt. She wrapped one hand around one of his red tipped horns and fisted a handful of the demon’s soft locks with the other, as if to gain a sense of control she knew she didn’t have. As she clung onto his horns with her fingers roughly tangled in his wild locks, her hips began to pump. The young woman was quivering and drenching her lover’s maw, grinding her crotch against Z’s hot mouth. 

“Z-Z ! Sl-Ah, AH! Slow down! PLEASE!” Carmi finally managed to let out a high-pitched panting wheeze, but Z made no move to listen to her request. In fact, the demon began to eat her out even faster, devouring her with a vigor unmatched from any of her previous lovers. The woman began to wither and buck to escape the unrelenting pleasure but Z firmly held her in place no matter how hard she tried to escape his grasp. He held on to her hips as she bucked against him, back arching uncontrollably. She continued to let out a mixture of whimpers, moans and pleads that ended in tear-streaked crying as Carmi struggled to keep her head raised enough to watch Z practically make out with her sopping wet mound. Carmi could feel his hot, forked tongue abusing her g-spot, thrusting his tongue in and out of his tight slit, making her clench and tremble in Z’s mouth. She could feel her orgasm approaching closer and closer until the demon suddenly stopped the oral assault on her body.

“Hu-wha..?”  

“You want to tell me who was the one who had you so flustered, Dove?” Z asked with a smirk, but there was no mirth within his eyes. Carmi nearly hit the roof. Was he really asking this now? Couldn’t he have at least finished eating his plate before giving her a random interrogation? 

“I already told you Z, I-I wasn’t thinking about anyone!” Carmi tried to protest, attempting to close her legs. Z forced her dark thighs apart with ease, as they were much stronger than a human could ever hope to be. Carmi hated to admit to herself how hot it was that he could manhandle her like that.

“It’s no use lying to me Dove.” He replied in a singsong voice. Carmi did NOT feel like explaining how Z’s voice nearly made her bust a nut in the bar. The fiend already had so much power over her, they didn't need anymore ammo to bully her with. Besides, what if he found it more creepy than flattering?

“I-I wasn’t thinking about anyone you s-should worry a-about..!” It was technically the truth. But Carmi could see that her vague answer did nothing to placate her lover.

“Fine Dove. If it’s a game you want, it’s a game you’ll get.” Z said, their smirk turned into a downright sadistic grin, their smile showing off his dangerously sharp teeth. Carmi didn’t think she liked where this was going. “Let’s see how long you can last until you’re begging me to let you cum.”  

And he was true to his word. Twice more did Z bring her close to the edge, and twice more did Z deny Carmi release. By the end of his third denial, Carmi had been reduced to a teary, sweaty mess. This was no longer a dream. This was a nightmare.

“Do you want to be a good girl and give me an answer?” Z smugly asked like the little fucking shit he was. This was the guy who had a claim of her mind, body and soul?

“Not. Happening.” Carmi gritted out through clenched teeth.  

Seemingly deciding to change tactics, Z began to push Carmi’s legs closer to her chest, bending her in-half until she felt like a pretzel. 

“I could devour you whole,” Z says gently, and Carmi could feel the heat of his words sinking into her bending body. “And I'd make it so good for you. Won't you let me, sweetheart? You just need to tell me the truth.”

Carmi cursed underneath her breath as she shook her head, hips involuntarily jerking into his touch. Fuck, should she just tell them? She wanted to, but the fear of rejection wrapped their hands around her throat and slicened her. It’d be fine right? Z had to give in at some point.

His fat tip drooled pre-cum and he took it one hand to slap it against Carmi’s already sensitive mound. She flinched at the feeling. The fiend nudged his cock against her throbbing clit once, twice, gathering her leaking juices before dragging it down to the very spot where he could have sunken himself into her warmth.

“Fuck, you're so wet.” Z groaned as they lined themselves up against her entrance. Carmi could feel him using the head of his shaft to part her labia. “When I rub the head of my cock along your slit, it's completely drenched. I bet I could just slide it right in-”

Carmi could feel the stretch, she could feel every throb, every vein, all his thickness filling her. Even her cunt started to squeeze his cock’s head like it was made for this and this alone. But before Z could penetrate her too deep, give her something that she could clench down on, Z would pull himself out.

“Why did you pull out?” Carmi breathlessly whined. “You felt so good …” Even though Z’s hardened cock was resting on her throbbing mound, She could swear she felt it twitch as a response to the question. The heat of their combined lust made her head spin. Holy shit, she was so sensitive that Carmi couldn’t tell if she was going to pass out or cum so hard that she would see heaven. She was leaning towards the former. Z must have sensed that, as he delivered a sharp bite to the back of her leg, determined to keep his human’s attention on them. The nip wasn’t necessarily painful. No, all it did was bring forth a different type of feeling within her body. 

Z wasn’t far enough inside to be able to properly fuck Carmi yet, he’d start to move his hips, giving shallow thrusts as he pulled out slightly and sank himself right back in. The demon was only using his thick cockhead to stimulate her for now, giving her a taste of what she could have if Carmi gave into their demands. And much like receiving a sip of water while abandoned in a desert, the feeling had only been a brief moment of pleasure that, once passed, only left the woman craving more for more. However, with the combination of the fiend’s wandering hands, Carmi was sure that this was the closest she’d been to Hell. Z’s hands, large enough to greedily grab at her breast, pinching and twisting them. The woman wanted to break down in tears, everything felt simultaneously too much and not enough. Z gave her pleasure but never enough to satisfy her, to give her release from the torture of being denied another toe-curling orgasm. Z continued their teasing assault for what felt like hours , until Carmi finally cried out in defeat. 

“It was you!” 

Immediately, the woman could feel Z’s hands freeze up. She could feel the blood rushing to her face as Carmi  tried to remember how to use her mouth and hurriedly spit out an explanation. 

“It’s just that your voice sounds so nice and sometimes when I hear it, I start to think about you saying certain things and I know it’s weird, but sometimes you sound territorial and it, you, sound so good and I…” Her voice got smaller and smaller with each word when she realized what she had confessed to the demon who’s cock was still inside her. “I really… like… hearing it…”

Silence. That was all Carmi heard.

Instantly, she felt a freezing pit drop into her stomach. Holy hell, she fucked up. Oh, she fucked up bad. Why did she say that? Shit. Shit. Shit . Oh, this was it. Z was gonna call her a creepy weirdo, they would never talk to her again and she be left alone-

“You… like my voice…?” Z asked incredulously.

Carmi hesitantly removed her dark hands from her face, peaking at them to see the fiend with his jaw dropped. Z had looked completely gob smacked, as if he would have never in a million years guessed that it was his voice that got her hot and heavy back in the bar. Carmi nodded. 

“Yeah… But that’s not it. Every single time you flirt, or when you show that I can trust you , or e-even when you smile…” Carmi practically murmured. This felt too intense, too intimate , confessing her feelings like this. “Every single part of you drives me insane, Z. Is that really so hard to believe…?” 

“I could feel you getting anxious every time I tried to initiate things, so I assumed that you were too scared of me. Besides,” Z shrugged as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Who would ever trust a demon? You’d have to be insane.” 

“I don’t trust other demons. I trust you Z.” She confessed. She had finally spilled everything out and Carmi could feel her face grow hot from not only being exposed physically, but emotionally as well. Oh God, she was rambling again. “And like you. Like, a lot. A concerning amount even-”

Z cut her off with a deep kiss. Immediately, whatever thoughts plagued her mind dissipated when their lips touched. Carmi looked at him with a dazed, lovesick expression as Z pushed her onto her back. How was he always able to calm her down so easily…? Was this what it was like to be in love?                                                                                                        

“Hmm…? Is that right? My voice alone is all it takes for my human to get all worked up…” Once again, Carmi could feel the heat behind his words, the feeling running down her spine and making her walls twitch. 

“Ugh, stop!” Carmi threw a pillow over her head. She wasn’t in love anymore. She was going to strangle him with her bare hands instead. “I knew you were gonna be like this!”

“Stop? How can I?” Z once again grabbed her, their lips meeting once again. She practically moaned as her lover slid his tongue against hers, feeling a rush of pleasure pump throughout her body. There were so many things Carmi wanted Z to do to her, and she to him . “Especially with the way your body is reacting .”

“Z…” The intimate kisses had riled her up all over again. She couldn’t and wouldn’t deny anymore. She was willing to beg for it at this point, shame and insecurities be damned. “Please…!”

“Go on,” Z purred as his tail swissed. His voice had switched from that of a lover to one of a predator that has caught its prey, playing with it to indulge their own sick desires. The cock inside her responded immediately with another pulse. Carmi could feel it. Was Z…  was he fucking getting excited about hearing her beg for it? For him? “All you have to do is ask. Nicely. ”

Her pussy was like a smoldering ember between her pillowy thighs and Carmi nearly let out a sob, tears practically streaming down her face. “Please, please, please fuck me Z. I need to feel you.”

Carmi winced as her lover licked the falling tears from her cheeks as if they were droplets of an expensive spiced wine. Satisfied with her desperate pleads, her lover crawled back on top of her, their combined body weight sinking her into the mattress. The woman could feel her lover kissing her face and neck, sucking on the bite marks they'd left earlier. While they would disappear by the morning, Z would not. Sharp nails sunk into his arms as her boyfriend pushed himself deeper and they let out a moan, and grunt mixed into one. Her heated walls tightened around him reflexively, and she waited for the rest of that delicious stretch.

“Look at you, taking me like you were born for it.” His thrusts were still somewhat shallow, Carmi knew she wasn't taking him all the way, not yet. But her twitching hole was starting to adjust itself to accommodate the great bulk of his shaft as Z pushed himself in again and managed to slowly fuck in and out of her eager entrance. “And to think you’ve wanted this the entire time. You little tease.”

Z’s cock was much thicker than his tongue, less flexible but it filled her up so much better, a sturdy hardness that she could finally clench around so nicely. Carmi almost sobbed as Z withdrew, pulling his long, delicious cock almost completely out. He returned immediately when she whined from the loss. Z felt so good , so warm and so, so big … he was fulfilling her entirely, every bit of Carmi that was empty, every little space that needed his heat was now his and stuffed to the brim.  

“I'm not some- I wasn’t-!" Carmi’s already weak argument ended in a loud gasp as Z reminded her who she belonged to with another good, deep thrust.

“Fuck… I can feel you tightening up, you’re- oh hells, trying to suck me in deeper-”

“Z-Z… ohgod oh fuck–!” Carmi shut her eyes from the intense pleasure, but Z was having none of it. He sunk his dagger like fangs into her leg once again, making sure she was watching his every move.

“Don't you dare look away sweetheart. Keep your eyes on me, just like that…” Carmi shuttered from a mixture of the pleasure of finally being fucked. Z’s honey sweet voice as he mumbled obscenities into her ears, reveling in her tightness, and the way her body fit so perfectly against his. Carmi gasped and cried out from his sudden depth as his cock rutted against a spot that left her absolutely writhing . “I want to see your face when I make you cum.”

Her body felt so weak, twitching, vulnerable and at the mercy to whatever the fiend desired. She tried in vain to hold back her whimpers, but they slipped out of her throat anyway, in a long and constant stream of cries that grew louder and more desperate as Z continued to fuck her. Carmi had tried to pull away from the demon, but she was in no position to do so. She could sense his hungry gaze as Z leaned in close, grinding his hips against hers. Fuck, Carmi could feel every single inch of his throbbing cock inside her spasming walls.

“Z-Z, I c-can’t…!”

“Oh, no, no Dove. You can. I barely even need to grab your hips, your body wouldn't let me go if I tried…” His tail began to rub on her engorged clit and Carmi gave another frantic series of moans from the stimulation. She was practically drowning in pleasure. “Look how badly you want this, sweetheart. Go on, squeeze me tighter. Thaaat’s it Carmi. Good girl.”

Carmi, for her part, could scarcely formulate a coherent thought aside from ‘yes, yes, yes…!’ . She'd put up so many walls, and having them all crumble at once was more than she could really process. She'd been terrified of ruining her relationship with Z, but now, she wanted to kick herself for not giving in and confessing how she felt sooner. Her lover rocked her back to the edge once more. Now Z was fucking his whole massive cock into her pussy with every lunge, burying the shaft so deep that his balls were slapping on her ass. Letting out high pitched whimpers as Z slid his painfully hard cock against a dangerously tender spot, Carmi genuinely couldn’t tell if his loud moaning made the experience better or worse. Z didn’t even try to be quiet, and it was nearly driving her to insanity.

Carmi squealed, breaking away from the kiss, as Z started to fuck Carmi with a frenzy that he’d held back until that moment, spurred on by her cries. The pressure was increasing, more and more.

“Oh Z-FUCK! I’m, I’m…!”

Carmi didn’t even have the chance to prepare herself before her orgasm hit her, juices gushing from her soaked pussy, coating Z in her arousal. Her back arched as her body spasmed while Z continued to fuck Carmi through her high for as long as it lasted. Her pulsating cunt slowly eased itself, leaving behind an overwhelming sensation that was strong enough to cause her legs to twitch. Z could feel her velvety walls clench around him as Carmi’s orgasm left her cunt drooling and pulsing with desire.

Even though she was sensitive from cumming, Z still rutted his fat cock in the whimpering woman. The feeling made her repeatedly squeal with every thrust with desire, surprise, even a little sting of pain. Carmi let out a particularly loud gasping wail when she felt for the first time a rush of hot, thick cum deep inside her. The pleasure was intense and overwhelming as the demon continued thrusted with spurt after spurt of hot cum, moaning as he practically emptied himself in her cunt. Once he was finished, she could see how the demon’s body trembled with the aftershocks of his release, still feeling the remnants of pleasure that washed over them.

Carmi wiggled her shaking legs from under Z and wrapped them around his chest. Maybe it was due to the orgasm he had just had, or maybe he was simply curious on what Carmi planned to do. Either way of thinking led to the same result. With Carmi straddling the demon underneath her. An excitement began to grow in her and she shifted her position so that the growing bulge pressed into her leaking entrance.

“Do you really not know what you do to me…?” Carmi grabbed hold of the length of his cock and rubbed her freshly filled pussy, teasing him. The cock had already become hard again, the head of it entering her. Z was panting at this point, more precum oozing from the tip to lubricate her already wet hole as Carmi began to slowly drop her full weight into his lap, enjoying the sensation of grinding his cock inside her. Taking in a deep breath, the woman fully sank onto him, feeling Z’s pulsating cock inside her once more. She planted her soft hands firmly on his toned torso to help steady her as she huffed and moaned. 

“W-why would I even think about anyone else?” She raised herself up until only his sensitive, hard tip rubbed against her heat and then slammed herself down hard once more.

“Ah!  Ahn!  Ahh-mphf!”  Carmi gasped and huffed delightedly each time she slammed her wide hips down. She could feel her pussy clamp down on Z, trying to keep the demon inside her as all she could do was moan, pant, and cry. The emotions that weld up inside of Carmi were so intense, that it was dizzying. She felt almost lightheaded, with nothing but the feeling of Z’s pulsating cock keeping her grounded. Fuck, why had she been holding back all this time?

“How can I-ngh! Even think of fucking any-Ah… Ah! One else?” Carmi could barely whine out her question. She was going to pound Z into the mattress and milk him for all he was worth, even if it was the last thing she was going to do. “All I think about is you , Z!”

Carmi’s hips began to ride Z’s cock in a frantic, almost frenzied pace and she could hear the absolutely filthy noises their bodies made together, a reminder of just how much Carmi desperately wanted to feel Z’s cum inside her body once more. The sounds of her pleasure reverberating through the room as she was riding him so hard that the bed bounced alongside her. From her plump lips began to spill every single lustful and downright depraved thought she had about the demon in the past few weeks. She professed how handsome he was, how much she desired him, and how much she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She couldn’t help nor even stop herself. It was as if her body had a mind of its own and decided that a confession of her sinful desires while bouncing on Z’s cock was the best course of action.   

“When we were in that bar,” Carmi dragged her sharp nail on his chest, tracing the tattooed sigil and giving Z a devious smile. She really wanted to savor the feeling of the demon’s twitching cock inside her. Her cunt was aching and sensitive, but she didn’t care as Carmi was overcome by the freedom of her giving into her lust. She could cry out Z’s name, could whimper for his cock, could thrash and moan and sob and Carmi wanted to. God, she fucking wanted to. “All I could think about was how I wanted you to fuck me properly until I was stretched out, aching, and sore.”

Before Carmi would spill out anymore of her desires, bare anymore of her soul to him, Z had stuffed his neglected tail in her rambling mouth. She had bitten down on it. Hard.

Carmi immediately wanted to stop and check on the demon to make sure he wasn’t seriously hurt once she realized what she had done. Z may have been an immortal demon that could barely register pain, but Carmi could never forgive herself if she had harmed her lover, accident or not.

She would have done that, had Z not given out the most vocal and sluttiest moan Carmi had ever heard in her life, as he arched his back in pure, cardinal ecstasy.

“Ngh, that feels so good! Do that again, Dove! Harder! ”

Z began to loudly beg and whimper for her, stuttering Carmi’s name in an incoherent babble as they furiously pumped their hips to meet her own brutal pace. His shaft glided in and out of her sweet cunt easily due to the thick load he’d already flooded her with. The louder and more desperate Z got, the more times she would simply stop and squeeze his throbbing cock with her velvety walls, denying him release as the demon had done to her. She wanted to see him weak and whimpering. That would be a lovely sight to behold. 

“Ahh f-fuck Dove! Keep riding me like that! ”

“I c-can’t stop, oh fuck, you feel so–!” Carmi felt the tingling sensation in her lower stomach. Z’s thick, creamy load once again flooded her cunt, and Carmi let out a pitiful, full body keen at the feeling of being so full, pumped so completely. Perverted sounds of pleasure filled the room as the two lovers rode out their collective orgasms together in a scene that was as passionate as it was deprived. Finally, when the last spasm from his cock died out, Z let out a low moan and went into a full body shudder.

By the time she was done riding him, Carmi was unable to do anything but lay upon his warm chest, feeling limp and satisfied as she listened to his racing heartbeat. Her mound still tingled in the aftermath of her climax. She could feel Z’s cum drip sluggishly out of her abused hole and down her thigh. Carmi was exhausted, but also happy and confusingly, dizzyingly in love.

‘I could stay like this forever.’ She thought to herself as she nuzzled the crook of Z’s neck. She breathed in his scent. ‘I wouldn’t mind it. Not one bit.’ The steady beating of Z’s heart, the feel of his caring embrace and snuggling into the warmth the demon’s body provided… Yes, Carmi could stay like this forever and she wouldn’t have blinked an eye. 

But unfortunately, the world had never been kind to Carmi and wasn’t going to start now.

The dark-skinned woman let out an embarrassingly loud and weird sounding yelp as she suddenly found herself on her back. Before Carmi even had a chance to make sense of what was happening, Z was already climbing on top of her body, spreading her legs and looking down at her sweating and flustered form. Though she could not see his eyes, Carmi could feel the heat of their gaze trail hungerly across her body. 

“Uhh… Z?” She nervously giggled, wondering what was going on. “What are you…?”

“Oh, I’m going to make sure that I fulfill every single one of your fantasies tonight to make up for lost time.” Carmi stared up at the demonic entity between her thighs. She could already tell based upon his excited, almost manic smile and unhinged personality, that Z was not kidding.

“Don’t worry Dove,” They practically purred, a toothy grin spreading across their face. Z settled themselves right in between Carmi’s legs, hiking her warm, soft thighs around his waist. “I’ll fuck you until you can’t remember how to speak, and I’ll keep fucking you until you pass out. Even then, I won't stop. I’m not one to get tired easily , after all,”

Z pressed such a gentle and deceptively innocent kiss on her mouth, that it made Carmi instantly relax and nearly forget the position she was(and going to be) in.

“Oh, me and my big, stupid, horny mouth.’ Carmi thought, already resigning herself to her fate. ‘Well, it was nice being able to walk when I could...’

[dreamsinger-rose]

Musings about Trolls Band Together

Secrets, Timelines, and Why In The Heck Would Branch’s Brothers Leave Him To Die At The Claws of the Bergens?!

Hello, good readers! Now that I’ve seen Trolls Band Together, I’m going to start making some new blog posts about our favorite Broppy couple and exploring the world of the trolls in general. Needless to say, this is basically going to be all spoilers, so read only if you don’t mind knowing ahead of time everything that happens in this deeply-satisfying, long-awaited backstory of a movie 😊

The first thing that comes to mind is that when John Dory, Branch’s long-lost brother, first appears, Poppy asks her father if he knew about Branch’s brothers. Looking guilty, he deflects her question. “How would I know anything about secret family members?” Obviously he was also talking about Poppy’s similarly long-lost sister, Viva, but as the troll who was king at the time Branch’s brothers presumably lived in the troll tree, I think he did know.

Maybe he kept quiet because he or Grandma Rosiepuff decided not to keep upsetting him with talk of the brothers who left. Maybe little Branch himself asked him never to mention them again, once he was sure they were never coming back. Or maybe Peppy and Branch did occasionally talk about them in private, but if so, they obviously never told anyone else, not even Poppy.

After World Tour, I suspect Peppy knows a LOT more than he’s ever told his young daughter, in order to let her stay happy. Now that we know there’s an even bigger world out there, full of other societies than trolls and bergens, it’s obvious that he wanted the village to be this idyllic place where his trolls could live innocent, happy lives. I can’t blame him for that. I’m sure they all needed the chance to heal after the trauma the bergens inflicted on them. They needed to feel safe. It seems to have worked, at least for the younger trolls who’ve never known anything else. I have to wonder how many older trolls are more like Branch, hiding emotional scars deep inside.

I also wonder about the brothers’ origins. WERE they all originally troll-tree trolls? If so, did they grow up under the bergen threat, or had the bergens not started eating trolls at the time the brothers left? I got the impression that Trollstice had been happening for years. Yet I find it hard to believe that if they were going to leave, that they’d leave Bitty B in such a dangerous situation. Not after how they greeted him with such (adorable, heartwarming) affection the minute they saw him again.

So it makes more sense that they would have left Branch at the tree before the bergens came along. That would make an awfully short amount of time for Trollstice to become the “tradition” Poppy describes it as in the first movie. Then again, considering the ratio of bergens to trolls in the first movie, if every bergen got to eat a troll once a year, that would mean dozens of trolls would have been lost every single year, enough to decimate the population in a very short time. Peppy escaped with roughly only a hundred trolls, as far as I could tell. Viva rescued maybe another 30(?) Mostly children, by the look of them. Enough for them grow up and create a second generation by the time Band Together starts.

I wish we knew how many trolls there had been originally. Tiny as trolls are, a tree the size of the troll tree should have been able to host at least 500 trolls, if not double that. If the village had originally had about 500 trolls, it would have only taken about four years to lose ¾ of their people. Yikes! I can’t imagine the young King Peppy waiting even a year to try to rescue his people if that kept happening.

Which leads me to wonder if Peppy was originally not from the troll tree. What if he was a roving adventurer like John Dory, who had come upon this caged troll tree full of trapped, desperate trolls who needed his help? Maybe he fell in love with Poppy’s mother, (the princess?) and decided to stay? They made him their king, and he rescued them. What happened to the former rulers?

All of this makes me wonder if Branch’s family were actually big-city trolls who simply left their baby brother with their quaint country grandma, under the impression that he’d be safe there. Before the bergens became a threat, obviously.

If the bergens were already eating trolls by the time the brothers left, (which I doubt, since there was no mention of that) I have two theories as to why they’d do such a selfish, callous thing. Either the trolls didn’t consider the bergens much of a threat (at first), or they didn’t know the bergens were behind the disappearances of their people. It’s even possible that, like in my fanfiction Picturebook Romance, the bergens (mainly Chef) pretended to be their friends at first, until the cage was built. And then it was too late.

LOL I keep remembering Poppy’s comment upon meeting John Dory. “You’re the old one!” He wasn’t too happy about that. But I can easily imagine Peppy being like JD, which might explain why he’s also kind of “old” to be Poppy’s dad.

[misty-235]

Got this one finished much sooner than I expected! Yippee

This little story was a request from @thewolffairytaler and is a little one shot about Bubba making friends with another kid who then grows up to be a pop star, which I thought was a pretty interesting concept!

TW: mentions of war, mentions of bullying, very small mentions of abuse, and some slight angst

It was the cover of a record, so new that its sleeve was unscuffed and the vinyl itself had not a single scratch, that awoke a memory in Bubba, one he hadn’t thought of in a long, long time.

A young hippie woman, wearing a loose, pink floral dress, stood, clutching a microphone in one hand, her long fingers decorated with narrow bands of gold. Her silky black hair, smooth and shiny as spilt ink, caught his eye- he was envious. The album was entitled “Love Songs- 1970-73;” the singer’s name was Ji- Yoo. He’d never met anyone else with a name like that, but it felt nice in his mouth, and he could almost say it. He only knew what the album was called because Bobby had told him what it was called- he couldn’t read, no matter how much Drayton tried to teach him. Bobby had agreed to share the vinyl with him, under the condition that he could only listen for an hour- but when he got drafted, he let Bubba keep it. Drafted, taken away to a far away place whose name he didn’t know. I’ll come back, He’d promised. Don’t ya worry Bubs. He clung to those words, holding them to his chest like a child holds a teddy, willing the nightmares away.

It took a few minutes for the connection to make itself clear. He’d met this girl, once, as a child. Her parents had stopped at the gas station, on their way somewhere he would never go. They’d been seven, if that.

He’d gone out to play in the dry dust and dead grass, observing an ant’s nest. So many ants, tiny and brown, swarmed in and out of a little hole in the dun earth; some carried grains of sand, or dead beetles, or little tiny twigs. He was fascinated, crooning softly to himself. He wondered if they had their own little houses and shops and highways in there, if each ant had its own little family, just like he had his.

Then there she was, the girl. Her black, silk hair was the same now as it was then. Bubba cowered. Other children outside of his brothers, on the rare occasions that he met any, were mean to Bubba. They threw things, and called him the same nasty names Drayton called him when he was angry, and poked him with sticks. But this girl just looked at him, head cocked slightly, curious.

“What are you lookin’ at?”

Bubba whined, pointing down at the ant colony. He was ready for her to jeer at him, or to throw dust in his eyes.

“Those live in my backyard, too. My big brother likes to shove sticks in there to make them all run around like crazy people.”

He was puzzled then. Why would somebody hurt them just to see them run around?

“Anyway,” the little girl continued, fiddling awkwardly with her hands, “what’s your name? Mine’s Ji- Yoo.” He noticed that she had a ring on one of her fingers, a silver band adorned with a tiny ladybug. It was pretty, prettier than anything he had, and he looked away so that he wouldn’t get caught eyeballin’, because Drayton said it was rude to stare, and Bubba wanted to be a good boy, and make everybody happy.

It took him a couple of tries to get his mouth to make the right shapes for his name to come out, but when it finally worked, the girl’s eyes lit up.

“Bubba?”

He nodded furiously, and she laughed, not out of malice, but out of the joy of making a new friend. He relaxed a little.

Ji- Yoo sat down next to him, her bright red, shiny shoes standing out incongruously against the beige of the dirt and grass. Bubba made a worried sound, motioning to her white frock- wouldn't it get dirty? Wouldn’t her parents be mad and hit her? She seemed to understand, and waved off his concern.

“Don’t worry, Bubba! My mama says I should play outside as much as I can, cause the sun is good for me. And she can always buy a new frock. It’s no biggie. This one’s almost too small anyway.”

Ji- Yoo’s mama sounded nice. For a moment, Bubba wished that she could be his mama, too, but quickly swallowed the feeling down. Drayton said he deserved his beatings, because he was a bad boy who was too weak and needed to toughen up.

They spent the most part of an hour just watching the ants scuttling about, going about their tiny lives. She spoke about her own life; her mama and papa, her favourite ice cream flavour (strawberry), which Disney Princess was best (Tinker Bell), what she would do with a million dollars (buy a castle and a pony). Bubba listened, squealing and nodding when it was appropriate, and clapping his hands in appreciation when Ji- Yoo sang her rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. For the first time in his life, he’d made a friend outside of his brothers. A real friend, one who he could make happy and who made him happy in return.

And then Ji- Yoo’s parents finished their barbeque and their soft drinks. They called out to their daughter as they walked to their car- a shiny, blue car, much cleaner and sleeker than any Bubba had ever seen, to the point that it looked like one of the alien spaceships in that television show Bobby and Nubbins liked to watch. She ran over, waving goodbye, got into the back, grinned at him, and was gone, forever.

Back in his shabby little bedroom, with its peeling, yellowed wallpaper and single, dust caked window, Bubba gave a quiet, hiccuping sob.