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lamentationsofalonelypotato · 6 months ago

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Chapter 19: I Know Who You Are

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV, Soldier Boy POV

Summary: When the reader left Payback 40 years ago after a falling out with her childhood best friend she never looked back, but when two men show up to her apartment and start asking her questions about the past, the reader begins to think those things can’t stay hidden and starts to question what’s real and what’s fantasy. This is a re-telling of The Boys Season 3, where the reader is a supe who's known Soldier Boy since 1927. The chapters will fluctuate between past and present. This is chapter nineteen of my "You Call It Madness But I Call It Love" series. (I'm so bad at summaries please forgive me!)

Word Count: 14.5K (It's a behemoth and oh my stars I didn't mean to do this)

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Angst, Drinking, ANGST, Sexual References, Talks of Pregnancy/Abortion, Some steaminess (barely), Family Problems, Self-deprecating thoughts, Awkward Situation, Soldier Boy might be, is, really, absolutely, completely a little OOC. Soldier Boy is really all you need as a warning.

Note: This is told from the Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. Reader is described as "curvy" occasionally. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal Monologue is in first person and is in italics

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Not going to lie, this one is ANGSTY and it's dramatic... ENJOY!

Soldier Boy POV

Ben couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The words you'd said still hovered between the two of you like an anchor sinking from a ship and lodging itself in his heart to tug him under. At first he thought that he'd imagined you saying it, that he was still reeling from using his newfound powers, but the ringing in his ears was not a side effect of that.

It had been exactly 37 seconds since you said it, and in those 37 seconds Ben couldn't do anything but stare into your beautiful wide eyes and try to remember how to breathe. The look on your face was identical to the first time you told him you loved him, hands gently cupping his cheeks and making him feel like the boy who used to climb up the tree outside your window just to glimpse your smile.

But now what you said was different. What you said didn't bring warmth, it brought destruction, it broke through everything he was.

As soon as you said it a wave of shock crashed over him, followed by another more powerful wave of guilt. It wasn't guilt for getting you pregnant or guilt because the two of you weren't careful. Ben was not upset about that. He would have loved to see you pregnant, see you glow as you wore those cute overalls and prepared for a child that he gave you. To see you smile at him every day and let him make love to you, show you how excited he was to share this with you. Show you how you were the only person he wanted a family with, the only person he ever wanted to be bound to. He had wanted to give that to you and that wasn't a lie. When you first spoke those words to him so long ago about wanting to have a family, wanting to have someone to come home to, someone who loved you, Ben had wanted to be the one to give you those things.

He would have done anything to make you happy, still would. But now he was upset with himself. Guilty that he wasn't there for you when you needed him the most, guilty that he allowed himself to stay away as long as he had, and guilty that he hadn't fought harder to get back to you.

He imagined those years without him raising a child on your own, the sleepless nights you must have had, the way you must have never had a moment of quiet-.

Ben felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into despair when he thought of the years you must have spent alone raising his child, loving his child even though he threw you away.

She loves me that much? How can I ever deserve her?

Ben still didn't breathe, noting the way Legend, Butcher, and Hughie have fallen silent where they stand behind the two of you. Even Legend had stopped smoking his blunt, something that Ben wished he could take a hit from.

I'm a dad and I-

Ben's memories of his own father came up like the rising tide, the shit his father said to him, the way his father pushed him away, the way his father was never there when he needed him to be and the way that his father always made him feel like he wasn't enough, just as your mother made you feel.

Even after all this time, I did become him, I abandoned her and then I abandoned my kid. I wasn't there when they needed me the most, I am a fuck up I- Ben swallows, the overwhelming thoughts dragging him further and further beneath the waves. How could she still want me? How can she say that I've never disappointed her when I did this?

You drop your hands from his cheeks and he misses the warmth they brought, but worse is the look in your eyes. You look scared. It was the same look you'd had on your face this morning when he woke up with you in his arms.

Ben hated that, because he knew why. He knew that you were scared to tell him this because you thought he would leave you again, that you still didn't completely believe that he was never going to leave you again, and it broke something deep inside of him that he tried to hide away for decades. He wished that he had never done those things to you, wished that he had earned back your trust already, wished that you would let him make love to you to show you how much you meant to him, but deep down he knew that he was willing to wait for you even if it took the rest of his life, he would make you trust him again.

At least she's touching me and looking me in the eye now.

But he knew that he still had a long way to go.

“Right.” Butcher clears his throat awkwardly. “Don’t forget to fill up the tank.” He tosses his keys towards you and you catch them in your hand while Ben continues to stand there.

Honestly he still wasn't sure what to say. He was stuck somewhere between guilt and shock and he wasn't sure how to make his body move. Pretty soon he would die from asphyxiation. He hadn’t taken a breath since you said it.

Butcher, Legend, and Hughie walk into the house behind them each wearing a bewildered expression. Ben had been to Legend's summer house many times in the past. He had memories of orgies and parties that went on for days, both of which you never went to, and Ben always ended up at your apartment trying to sleep it off while you sketched quietly beside him. He still couldn't understand that, how you were able to sit there with him and act like your heart wasn't breaking each time he did that.

The silence grows between you and Ben can't find the words to fill it, because he has no idea what to say, no idea how you can look at him when he did this to you, when he got you pregnant and then abandoned you like you didn't matter.

"Look I-" You stammer, looking down at the ground for a minute to take a breath before you raise your eyes to look at him. "I didn't want to tell you like this, but I can't leave her. We have the same last name and the first thing Homelander's going to do is make that connection. I mean, Legend and I made up the story about Indigo being my mom, but Rosemary she-"

Ben's entire body explodes again with emotion and shock as you utter the name Rosemary. He hadn't heard it in over eighty years, the last time was at his mother's funeral. The day that you crossed the gravesite, pulling away from your family, swaddled in another ridiculous dress that your mother picked out, and took his hand, refusing to let it go. You were always there for him.

And then I wasn't fucking there for her.

“I just can’t leave her, not with him.” You whisper, glancing up into Ben's impassive face but he can't say anything.

How can I when she named our daughter after my mother?

“I know it’s a lot to take in. I tried to tell you this morning, but then Butcher walked in and I didn’t want to do this in front of him and- and-“ You were babbling now, a nervous habit that Ben hadn't seen you do in ages, but was now rearing its ugly head all over again. “And you don’t have to come with me-“

You were mistaking his silence for fear, mistaking his silence as him pulling away all over again. He could see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice as it trembled.

“Rosemary.” Ben whispers, your daughter's name, his daughter's name, interrupting you. He barely breathes it, so low that he's not sure you heard him, saying the name with a reverence that he'd never used before. It was the first thing he'd said since you told him that he was a dad.

“Yes?" You look confused.

“You named her after my mom?” Ben’s eyes catch yours, deep green and open. He could feel his own heart flutter when he asked you that, heating in his chest so hot that he thinks it might melt out of it, through the bones and sinew. If that happened he would catch it and give it to you as if you already didn’t have it.

Ben can hear your heartbeat stutter when he asks you that. It was surprising, surprising that after everything that happened you still did that for him, did that to remember him.

He watches the end of your lips twitch in a smile.

“Yeah. You loved your mom. And did you think I was going to name her after my mom? Really?” You smile faintly at him with the joke.

Ben almost smiles at the thought. There wasn't any way that you wanted to remember your mother. Hell, all Ben wanted was to help you forget her, to undo the damage that she'd done to you all those years ago, because he saw how her influence still weighed on you, how everything that happened in the past still sat on your shoulders.

And he wanted to relieve that.

“I did try to tell you.” You repeat, but your smile drops. “Honestly I also want to stop and get some clothes from my apartment so I’m not covered in blood or rubble when I see her. It's going to be hard to explain all of this to her.”

Ben drags his eyes down your outfit again. Although this morning all he wanted was to rip it off you and study your curves with his hands, the outfit looked weathered. There was a prominent hole through the jacket and shirt, just under your left breast that Ben couldn't look away from. He knew what it meant. It was from you pushing him out of the way of Homelander. He could still feel the anger prickling beneath his skin when you again did the thing that he told you not to do. You were just so stubborn sometimes and never wanted to listen to him. Ben didn't give a single fuck that Homelander had punched him and practically choked him, the only thing he cared about was that Homelander had killed you. There were many things that Ben fantasized about doing to Homelander when he had killed you, many he wished that he had been able to accomplish before Homelander tucked his tail and flew away like a little pussy.

He cannot be what passes for a hero these days.

Then again another side of him was incredibly turned on when you faced Homelander. He'd never admit that to you, but there was something sexy about the way you threw Homelander around like he was nothing. It had taken an extreme amount of effort for Ben not to kiss you after Homelander flew away, to take you back into the ruined house and show you just how much he liked your outfit and how much he enjoyed watching you kick Homelander's ass. Of course he'd let the anger win in the moments that followed the fight.

"Okay." Ben replies.

He sees you hesitate. “I guess I’ll see you when I get back.” You reply, with a tight smile, disappointment flashing in your eyes.

“What are you talking about?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow together. He was confused. “I’m coming with you.”

“Really?" He watches your eyes widen in surprise.

Did she really think I'd let her go alone to do this?

"Yes? I told you that I didn't want you to go alone. Especially with that asshole flying around." Ben could feel himself frown.

"Okay."

Reader POV

The first ten minutes of the drive is deathly quiet. Ben doesn’t say anything and you fight to keep your mouth shut. The urge to fill the silence bristled beneath your skin, but you clamp your lips together.

Even when he said he wanted to come with me, he didn't acknowledge anything I said about Rosemary and-

“Are you sure she’s mine?” Ben finally asks interrupting your internal monologue.

You can’t help but laugh, gripping the steering wheel as you snort. “Why is that the reaction all men have when a woman tells them that they’re pregnant? Is it because all men believe that women go around plotting ways to force them into a relationship? Is that a legitimate fear that you guys have? Or is it because all men think women go jumping from bed to bed having unprotected sex with whoever they can get their hands on?”

“No I just-“ Ben sighs and doesn’t finish his sentence. He’s been staring out through the windshield, watching the outside world fade into blurred colors, glancing over at you every few seconds.

“I’m sorry.” You hadn’t meant to laugh at him, but this was all just extremely awkward.

But it shouldn’t be. You can’t help but think to yourself. If Ben had ever asked me to have a kid with him before any of this I would have agreed to it no questions asked. But now I guess it's different.

“Yes she’s yours.” You sigh, but you can’t look at him.

“But how?”

“Do you really want me to explain the birds and the bees to you?”

“Y/n.” He sighs.

“Because of all the people in the world, you probably have enough experience to know exactly how babies are made and I hate to break it to you, it has nothing to do with a stork.”

“Please don’t make a joke right now.”

“I can’t help it.” You mutter butterflies dancing the conga in your stomach. “You know how I get when I get nervous.” You could practically feel your neurons sending electrical impulses through your body, making your anxiety grow.

I really should have had that coffee this morning. Then again it might go right to my anxiety.

“Why are you nervous?” Ben asks you incredulous. He sounds surprised, like he can't understand you.

“Huh?”

“Why are you nervous? You should be fucking furious with me!"

"Ben what are you talking about?" You turn to look over at him. He looks wrecked. He's hunched in the seat, hands clenched tightly over his thighs, jaw tight.

Is he mad at me? Really? Your heart sinks into the pit of your stomach to be devoured by the swarm of butterflies. I knew it. I knew he wouldn't be able to handle this-

"I did this to you and then I fucking left you. I left you when you needed me and was with those Russian fucks for forty-“ Ben’s voice breaks.

You suddenly understand. Ben wasn’t angry with you, he wasn’t pulling away, he was angry with himself. Guilty and angry because he wasn't there, because he believed that he disappointed you again.

“Ben wait a minute-“

“I should have been there every second.” He seethes, jaw tight, hands clenched into fists on top of his thighs. “I should have- FUCK.” Ben’s fist goes through the roof of the car, making the entire frame shudder.

Shit Butcher might kill us for that.

"Oh Ben-" You whisper.

“I-“ His chest begins to glow. “I said all those things, pushed you away, fucked Countess. I put you through all that shit and you still wanted to have my fucking kid? And you named her after my mom? I-"

Butcher will definitely kill us if Ben blows up his car.

You pull the car over to the side of the road, quickly unbuckling your seatbelt and reaching for Ben. "Ben please it's okay." You breathe, hands finding the sides of his face. "It's okay."

"No it's not." His chest dulls, but he turns his head away from you ashamed. "You told me that you wanted a family, that you wanted someone to come home to, someone who loved you. I wanted to give you those things, but not like this. I-" Ben's voice cracks. "I'm so sorry. I-"

"Ben." You whisper, turning his face back to yours so he's looking at you. His green eyes are dim, eyebrows pushed together, mouth turned down in a frown. And you can't help but kiss him. It's the first kiss you'd had in years. Life always seemed to get in the way of that. Whether it was Rosemary or Lou, you hadn't had a lasting relationship with someone in decades, not since Ben. The most you’d done is gone out with another artist and had dinner. It had ended in an awkward kiss that felt completely wrong to you. It didn't feel anything like this.

Kissing Ben was even more wonderful than you remember. The way he softly sighs into your mouth as he deepens the kiss, the way his hands find your waist to pull you over the center console into his lap, the way your hands automatically tangle in his thick dark hair on the back of his head, and the way your entire body melted into him. Warm tingles trace down your spine as your lips move against his, every synapse in your body electrifying, as you try your hardest to tell him how much he means to you with the kiss.

"Don't you understand." You say against his lips, stroking your fingers through his hair. "You did. You gave me a family. You gave me someone to come home to, someone who loves me. And now that she’s all grown up it gets to be you. You didn’t ruin my life. I don’t regret a single moment, even with everything that happened. I don't regret having Rosemary. You gave me what I wanted. It might not have looked the way I thought it would, but it doesn't make it any less special.”

"But I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I-" Ben sighs leaning his forehead against yours and you kiss him again, his tongue tangling with yours so devastatingly languid it seems to take your next breath.

Why did I ever deny myself this?

"Ben, you're here now, and that's all that matters to me."

"But-"

"You don't need to apologize for this Ben. What happened to you was not your fault. You couldn't control being away as long as you were-"

"I could have tried harder to escape. I could have-" He swallows, eyes wide and filled with pain. "I would have tried harder if I knew that I left you with-"

"Ben." You breathe, extracting your fingers from his hair and cupping his cheeks. "Please. I don't blame you for not being there. It was out of your control. And if-" You clear your throat with a sigh. "If you really love me as much as you say, if you've really loved me all this time, then I know you would have been there every second."

"I do. I love you." He kisses you again, breathing you in, holding you so tight against his chest as if he believes that you'll fade away in his arms. "I would have been, even if you hated having me there."

"I might have at the beginning, but now I can't imagine losing you. I can't imagine you leaving me. I don't think that I'll be able to survive this time-"

"I won't leave. I promise."

"I'm starting to believe you." Your thumbs stroke against Ben's cheeks, smiling softly at him, trying to fight the urge to cry, because your emotions are getting the best of you all over again. "Now can we please go? Or are you going to blow up Butcher's car?"

"One more Sweetheart." Ben murmurs, dragging your face back to his. "I've waited forty years for this."

"Does she know about me?" Ben says from your bedroom, over the sound of the sink.

You were standing in your bathroom, washing ash and blood from your face and picking rubble out of your hair. Honestly, you looked… weathered. The revenge outfit had a large irreparable hole that went through the blouse, not to mention you'd lost another favorite jacket and you were starting to get pissed.

Two down in a week. Maybe the vintage shop across the street from Rosemary's will have a nice selection. You reconsider. Or maybe Legend will have some clothes that he doesn't want. You smile to yourself. He certainly looks the same, must have some nice vintage clothes from the "good old days". Maybe I should be more worried about the fact that I’m more upset about ruining another jacket rather than the fact that we killed two people today.

Of course, you also needed to consider getting Ben some more clothes as well. Butcher's minimal selection was dismal, then again Ben could probably wear a garbage bag and be drop dead gorgeous.

He's the worst.

"Yeah. I told her who you were." You pull off the jacket, stroking your finger around the hole in the back of it, noticing the way the singed leather melted away from the laser. "She also knows you're back. It was-um- it was Rosemary who was texting me this morning." You momentarily feel guilty again. Rosemary was not excited to see Ben, the text messages this morning were a testament to that. And you were afraid that Ben was going to get his hopes up about seeing her.

Personally you weren't sure how he was going to approach this. Your heart just about broke when he almost exploded in the car from guilt about getting you pregnant. That was shocking, but at the same time the look of anguish on his face made you feel guilty all over again for not trying to get him sooner, for not asking more questions about his death. You knew that he was more indestructible than you. Why didn't I question that?

You reach for the bottom of the blouse, pulling it from your skin, but you look at your reflection in the mirror. There were two prominent scars, each about the size of a nickel, just under the left side of your bra. The only thing left behind from your fight with Homelander.

Ben's hand against the small of your bare back, makes you jump. It was rough and familiar, brushing against your soft skin in a way that makes you want to push back into his touch, to soak up the warmth like a cat in the sun. Proving again that your body still responded to his touch the same way it had your entire life. "Let me see." He rumbles.

"What?"

Ben turns you towards him, eyes dark as they meet yours, but then they drop to the collection of scars on your torso. "This one?" He strokes the golf-ball sized, almost perfect circle on the right lower part of your abdomen.

"Countess."

Ben's jaw tightens, but then raises his hand to the scars Homelander left then to the bullet scar just over your heart. "I hate that so many of these have to do with me."

"Well you didn't do them so you should see that as a win." You joke trying to make Ben smile, but he doesn't. "Ben we talked about this."

"I know." He pauses stroking his finger on a thin line just over your left collarbone. It was new to him. "What’s this one?"

"Rosemary." A ghost of a smile is on my lips. "Didn't want to eat her broccoli when she was a kid, telekinetically threw a knife at me by accident."

"She's a supe?"

"Yeah she's like us a bit. Doesn't age, she's strong, and more invulnerable, but she doesn't have any other powers unless she touches you."

"She has to touch you?"

"Yeah skin to skin contact only and only 24 hours, that's how she got telekinesis. She touched me and, well, really didn’t want to eat that broccoli-" You shrug. You were used to her powers, happy that you didn't have to watch her age, but worried about Lou. You were always worried about Lou. “But she's not a hero, she didn't want to be one. She's a nurse, works downtown in the emergency room. Though I think she's thinking about being a doctor."

"A doctor? A female doctor?” Ben’s eyebrows furrow.

Right. He basically missed the feminist movement. Note to self, make Ben watch the Barbie movie.

"Yes a female doctor. Nowadays it happens more often than you’d think.” You laugh. “She wanted to go back to school, but then her husband died and she was taking care of Lou-"

"Lou?"

You take his hand stroking your thumb over the back. “It’s not just Rosemary-“

“Please do not tell me you had fucking twins.” Ben tenses.

“No.” You snort. “Lou is our granddaughter. It's short for Louisa, though Rosie never calls her that unless she's done something crazy. She’s four, and most of the time she calls me aunty. She doesn’t know I’m her grandmother. Rosie and I, we thought it would be better if I introduced her as my cousin, not as my daughter."

“What happened to her husband?”

“Car accident. Just a few weeks after Lou was born.” Your smile drops remembering. “He was a good guy. Rosemary was head over heels for such a long time, and when he died she just crumbled completely shut down. He wasn't a supe and when she started to have a life with him I was worried about him dying. He wasn't going to live forever and he certainly wasn't indestructible. But after it happened I moved in with them for a while, helped her get through it, but it was hard."

"What about Lou?"

"What about her?"

"Is she a supe?" Ben's palm was still resting on the thin line over your collar bone and it was difficult to think with his bare skin pressed against yours.

"Not that we've noticed. Though I worry every day she will be."

"Why?"

"She's a third generation supe from our bloodline. If that gets out, who knows what'll happen. Same with Rosemary. She’s powerful and she’s only second generation from us. I’m hoping it skipped Lou.” You sigh leaning forward into his hand. "When I first found out that I was pregnant with Rosemary I was afraid that Vought would come take her away. And then when Lou was born I was so happy for Rosie, but everyday I'm scared that-" The words catch in your throat. Nothing really scared you anymore, but the thought of losing Rosie or Lou broke your heart, it was the same fear you had at the thought of losing Ben all over again.

He slides his hand up the column of your throat to cup your cheek. “Nothing will happen to them.” Ben promises. “I won’t let it.” His gaze was locked on yours, eyes filled with steely determination. It made your heart warm to know that Ben already cares about them, that he understood how important they were to you. It also made you all the more guilty for telling Rosemary everything about Ben, afraid that it turned her against him.

But I told her the bad and the good. I told her how much he meant to me, how he touched my life, our childhoods-

Images of the moments with Ben over your lifetime, the good and the bad, the moments you loved him, the moments you hated him, the simple moments that you longed for more, and the moments where Ben gave you everything you wanted, when he was exactly what you needed, as if he understood every part of you, even the parts that you tired to hide from everyone else. The moments before you were supes when Ben and you were together and he made you forget about your mother, when he walked you home as you sang drunkenly off key, and the moments where he cheered you up when everything seemed hopeless. Ben was always there for you.

You tried to tell her that, but maybe you were too jaded to tell her, maybe you focused too much on the bad. And now that meant she might not listen to his side of the story.

He drags his finger over the scar just over your heart, the one he can't seem to forget, trailing goosebumps in it's wake, while his other hand wraps around your waist tugging you forward against his chest.

By now he was wearing the pair of jeans and dark shirt he came to your apartment in, looking just as devastatingly handsome as he always did. Probably a good thing that he didn't go to her apartment in his supe suit, you didn't want Rosemary to ask him why he was wearing it and then have to tell her that he torched the TNT Twins.

Because telling her that you personally kicked Homelander's ass and that he was now going to hunt down Rosemary and Lou seemed so much easier. Not.

Why is my life like this?

"I can't put a shirt on if you keep doing that." You whisper. Honestly you couldn't think straight either.

"Maybe that's my plan all along."

"Well see, if I never put a shirt on that means that I'll be walking around in public with everyone seeing me without one and-"

Ben's eyes narrow at the thought.

“Oh do you not like that?” You smirk.

He pins you back against the counter, the marble biting into your lower back, but you don’t have time to think about it because Ben’s lips are against yours, supple and urgent, driving every thought from your mind.

Your hands come up to grip his shoulders, fastening him tighter against you while his mouth drags over your skin down your throat to your collarbone.

“Ben we have to go-“ you whisper.

“Let me do this first.” He mutters against your skin.

“Do what?” You sigh, feeling him begin to suck a mark directly over your collarbone. “Ben-“ You try to say his name to make him stop. Showing up to Rosemary’s apartment with a hickey was the last thing you wanted. But instead of his name coming out in the harsh whisper you intended, it comes out as a moan.

Ben’s body tightens around you, gaze meeting yours. His eyes are dark pools filled with promises that make a shiver travel down your spine. “I’ve waited forty years to hear you say my name like that again.” His lips fall back to the same spot. “And I look forward to hearing it like that in the future.”

Part of you is screaming too soon! But there’s another part rattling the bars of her cage that screams more! At the top of its lungs.

Ben continues to kiss along your neck, beard scratching against the soft skin in a way that makes you sigh and move your hands up to tangle in his hair.

You can feel Ben’s smile. “That’s my girl.”

“Only yours.” You whisper before you can stop yourself causing Ben to raise his head from your collarbone.

“Damn right.”He growls.

And there goes my last shred of willpower. Fuck.

Rosemary’s apartment building sends a deep feeling of dread through your system. You were happy that you got to change, happy that Ben got to change, but now thanks to the man sitting in the front seat across from you there was a large purple mark just on your collarbone that was barely covered by the long sleeved sweater you had on.

Please let Rosemary not see it.

Ben wasn’t helping. Since your apartment he hadn’t let go of your hand. The entire ride to Rosemary’s he held it over the center console of Butcher’s car, slowly stroking the back of it with his thumb making warm tendrils creep up your arm and settle in your heart. It was just like the night after the restaurant when Ben drove you home and he showed a softer side of himself that you hadn’t seen in forty years.

In the past 48 hours Ben had been more attentive and loving than he ever had and it made you hopeful for the future, hopeful that this really was going to work.

But you were still afraid that this was happening so fast. You weren’t expecting yourself to be so open to forgiving him, to be so ready to let him back in, to let him pick up the pieces of your heart but there he was holding duct tape with his piercing eyes and annoyingly gorgeous face.

“This is a nice apartment building.” Ben says looking up at the towering behemoth.

“She really likes it.” You shrug. “It’s close to a lot of schools and Rosie’s job. I kinda thought it was too uppity.”

“Neighborhood looks safe.” Ben gets out of the car.

“Yeah it-“ You begin to say trying to open your door but as soon as you do Ben is there opening it for you. “Oh thanks.”

“You look surprised.” He smiles.

“It’s just been a while since someone has opened a door for me.”

Ben’s smile twitches for a second. “Y/n?”

“Yes Ben.” You smooth the front of his shirt.

“How many others have there been?” He asks quietly.

You pause for a second hand still on his chest. As ridiculous as it might seem to some people, the truth was there hadn’t been anyone else.

At first it was difficult to find time for anything eat alone that in particular. Chasing a toddler around that occasionally picked up the couch and threw it across the room with her mind was enough to keep anybody busy, not to mention that you didn’t want to leave Rosemary alone with anyone for a night. And when Rosemary finally went off the college and you started to sell your paintings you started to get more comfortable being on your own again. You’d gone out to dinner with a few men who asked you after your show shared a kiss, but nothing ever felt right.

Finally came the one night that you thought things could be different. Max was a colleague that had flirted with you every chance he got. He wasn’t bad looking, reminded you a bit of Ben and your friend Adam Winthrop growing up. Max was also an artist who came to each of your shows, talked you down from the ledge whenever you thought the work wasn’t good enough and always took you out to get a drink after a show to make you feel better. He was sweet, funny, but when you were with him something always felt different.

But one night you figured why not? So you gave in, went back with Max to his apartment, but you couldn’t go all the way. It felt wrong. You could tell how much he liked you, how much he wanted you, but you didn’t want him. And it felt wrong to use someone. To make them believe you had feelings for them only to push them away.

So you told Max the truth and he respected you, didn’t make anything weird between the two of you, acted like nothing happened.

But now standing here in front of Ben with him asking you that question apart of you wished you had found someone else.

“Why?” You ask slowly.

Ben shrugs. “I don’t know you just haven’t- I mean we haven’t talked about that and-“

“I have never asked you how many people you’ve slept with. And I really don't think this is the best time?"

“I know that you've never asked but the last time I saw you I mean-" Ben's hand gently touches your waist, stroking against the top of your favorite worn pair of jeans.

You knew exactly what he was thinking about, he was thinking about the night you shared together, when he was everything you wanted, and he made you feel special loved, when he was gentle and made love to you the way you always imagined.

And yes maybe sex was off the table for a while, but it would come up again, eventually.

"Ben, can we talk about this after we get Rosemary and Lou back to Legend's?" You whisper placing a hand on his chest before you can stop yourself. You weren't sure if you'd ever be able to stop touching him, if you'd ever be able to stand in his presence and not feel warm or happy. You never expected it to be like this again, and certainly not so soon.

Ben looks disappointed for a moment, his green eyes flashing in the brilliant sunlight as it begins to sink behind the buildings. The wind carried the smells of summer, ice cream, beer, sunscreen, and just a hint of rain, rustling through the trees on the edge of Central Park. There would be a storm soon and you hoped that you were on the road before it hit. You hated driving in the rain.

"Okay." He releases your waist and takes your hand once more. "But we are going to talk about it right?"

"I don't see why it's so important." You steer him towards the front double doors where the doorman, Rodger, stands in a green and gold suit.

"Welcome back miss." Rodger smiles and opens one of the heavy glass doors for Ben and you.

"Thank you Rodger. How's the wife?" You flash a winning smile at him, still holding on tight to Ben who walks silently next to you.

"She's doing a lot better. The treatments are going well. She seems more like herself each day." Rodger smiles wider, eyes misting a little bit.

"That's wonderful to hear. Tell her I say hello." You say continuing to the gilded elevator that sits on the other side of the large marble lobby of the apartment building.

The truth was you knew that his wife was doing better, just as you knew she was receiving her treatments. Last Christmas Rodger had broken down when he was letting you up to see Lou and Rosemary and told you that his wife was diagnosed with lung cancer and because they didn’t have the money for treatment, it would probably be her last Christmas. Rodger was one of the kindest people you knew, and you didn't want him to lose his wife, so Rosemary and you both decided to shift around the generous funds that her grandfather left you, to send an anonymous donation so Rodger's wife could get treatment.

"Of course miss."

The elevator door closes, leaving Ben and you alone again, playing a cover of "Don't Stop Believing" on the piano.

Ben tugs you close and kisses you softly, so soft that it makes your eyes flutter while he smiles down at you. "I love you."

"What did you do?" You joke, nerves of Rosemary seeing Ben gone for a moment.

"You have such a big heart." He strokes his finger down your cheek, eyes soft as he gazes at you.

"He was going to lose his wife." You murmur. Ben was doing it again, seeing through you, understanding you even without knowing the whole story. It was like he always had a way of laying you bare, able to see your thoughts and secrets even though he wasn't a mind reader. "He loves her so much and for him to lose her like that-"

Ben hugs you closer to his chest. "I understand what that's like."

You see where his mind is, see that it's on a beach overseas, with blood soaked sand and your body lying in his arms as you draw your last breath. It hurt you to see the pain in his eyes, the loss even when you were standing right in front of him, even when you were in his arms, pressed against him in the way that always made you think that he was made for you just as the way you were made for him.

How could I ever forget how he made me feel? How wonderful it was to be with him when all you could see was the boy you grew up with?

"I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. I promise." You kiss him gently on the tip of his nose. It was more to reassure yourself than anything else. Rosemary was not going to react well to seeing him.

Might as well rip the band aid off right now.

The hallway is quiet, carpet plush and thick beneath your shoes and Ben and you make your way to the door at the end of the hallway. The blue paint is supposed to be calming, but your anxiety spikes as you raise your free hand to knock against the front door.

Please let her be here and not be kidnapped by Homelander.

The door opens.

Rosemary is dressed for work. Her maroon scrubs are clean and neat, her dark hair pulled back in a bun, her make up soft. She looks calm, but you can see the coming storm, just as you felt the coming storm outside the building, feel the electricity against your skin before the thunderclouds rose on the horizon. As soon as her eyes meet yours they narrow.

She's pissed.

"What are you doing here? I told you that I didn't need you to watch Lou tonight. Her babysitter is coming." Rosemary glances at Ben once, frown deepening as she notices his hand holding yours. You knew she was still holding back what she wished to say, choosing rather to ignore his presence rather than tear him apart here.

"I know. I'm not here for that. We have to go." You say, not wanting to discuss the full gravity of the situation in the hallway, but Rosemary shifts to block the doorway.

"You're not coming in. Not with him." She spits the word 'him' like it's a curse and you feel Ben's body tense in surprise.

I should have prepared him for this.

"Hi I’m-" Ben begins to say, trying to smooth things over.

"I know who you are." Rosemarys eyes narrow and flick back to you. “I can’t believe you fucking forgave him.”

"I-"

"Before you say you didn't that fucking hickey on your neck says otherwise."

Your cheeks flush bright red in embarrassment, shifting the sweater to hide it again. “Rosie-“

“No no no. I don’t want to hear it.”

“Rosie-“ Ben tries to say.

"Don't you dare call me that." She snarls, face contorting in rage, burning so hot that you could practically feel the air around her raising in temperature. "You don't know me. We're not friends. And I don't care what she says, you're not my dad. You're just the asshole that fucked my mom, got her pregnant and then ripped her heart out." Rosemary spits. “Do you have any idea what you put my mother through? Do you have any idea?"

Ben's body is still tense beside you, pulled so taunt that you don't know how he hasn’t snapped "I know and I apolo-“

“You think one measly apology makes that okay? MAKES ANY OF THIS OKAY?”

“Can we please not do this in the hallway?” You sigh. The last thing you wanted was Mrs. Norbert, Rosemary's prehistoric nosy neighbor coming out into the hall with her yappy French poodle, the same one that always snapped at your ankles and at Lou when you ran into her in the lobby.

“He’s not coming in here.” Rosemary stands her ground in the doorway.

"I know that you’re angry, but I need you to put that aside right now because there are more pressing things we have to worry about.”

"Like what?" Her eyes narrow at you. "Oh let me guess, you guys fucked again, you're pregnant and now you're going to-"

"Don't you dare speak to her that way." Ben roars trying to step in front of you, but you put your hand up to stop him.

Rosemary might be your daughter, but to Ben she was someone who insulted you, family or no, he wasn't going to sit back and let her treat you that way.

"Ben." You say once to calm him down. The last thing you wanted was for him to go nuclear right now. "Rosemary please. I know that you're angry, but we're not here for some big reunion. This is more important than any of this. This is about keeping Lou safe."

At the mention of her daughter's name, you see Rosemary's resolve waver. Her eyes flick to Ben again, once more sizing him up. "Fine." She opens the door wider, so Ben and you can come inside the apartment.

The creative chaos of the living room soothes some of your nerves, but not all. This was going poorly. Well, worse than poorly. Rosemary could barely look at Ben let alone speak to him without looking like she'd smelled something rancid.

You knew it would be bad, but you didn't think that it would be like this.

Apart of your heart broke for Ben. You saw how he acted in the car when you told him he was a father, how upset he'd been at the thought of getting you pregnant and then abandoning you. And now Rosemary was basically making him feel like a deadbeat probably wasn't helped either.

All you hoped was that Ben wasn't focusing on what his father used to say to him about being a disappointment, hoped that he wasn't reliving the memories of everything his father shouted at him at night before Ben fled to the solace of your bedroom.

Because the truth was you weren't disappointed and certainly were not disappointed when you got pregnant. Heartbroken yes. Scared shitless, again yes. But not disappointed, you'd never say that about him or to him, not as long as you lived. You knew exactly what those words would do to him, exactly where they would transport him. And you refused to be the reason Ben was reminded of his father.

"Aunty y/n!" Lou crows as she weaves through the apartment, leaping off the teal colored couch and into your open arms. She squeezes you tightly, burying her face in your neck. To see her safe brings relief washing over you, the same feeling you felt when Rosemary opened the door, but tenfold now knowing that Homelander has not taken either or them.

And he won't ever.

"I missed you." She whispers.

"I missed you too honey." You smile down at your granddaughter. She leans back to glance at her mother who still stands at the front door, holding on to the handle like it's her last nerve. Ben is standing close to you, looking at the little girl in your arms, face impassive, but his eyes betray him, caught somewhere between shock, anger, and just a twinge of guilt.

Please don't be guilty Ben. You think to yourself, trying hard not to reach out and touch him.

"Mommy why were you yelling at aunty y/n?" Lou looks at where Rosemary stands awkwardly by the door glaring at Ben.

"Because I didn’t tell her my friend Ben was coming." You say rubbing her back softly.

"Him?" She points at Ben.

"Yes. And don't point honey it's rude."

"Hi." Lou gives him a toothless smile and waves her chubby hand at him, her dark hair flopping away from her face as she does so.

Ben blinks at her for a moment, before his mouth begins to quirk in a half smile, shoulders still tense. But you could see that he was trying, and it meant something that he was despite Rosemary practically tearing him a new one in the hallway.

"He looks like mommy." Lou giggles cuddling into your neck to look at him.

It was the one thing that you hadn't prepared Ben for, how much he looked like Rosemary, how similar they were. You knew that somewhere deep down he was probably thinking the same thing.

Rosemary's eyes skate to Ben who stares back at her with the same intensity, but something passes in the air between them, something that you can't place.

"Yes. Yes he does sweetie. Now why don’t you go get your art kit for me, and we’ll go." You put her on the ground and Lou scampers off to her bedroom while the three of you stand there in awkward silence.

"Why do we have to go? I thought you didn’t expose yourself because you didn't go to Russia to get him." Rosemary asks. She still wouldn’t say his name. Then again you weren't expecting her to call him dad.

HA. Like that would ever happen.

Ben scoots closer to you reaching for your hand, but when Rosemary narrows her eyes at him, he pauses halfway. So you take his hand instead. "I did expose myself."

"How? Because of him?"

"Look I get that you're pissed, but I'm asking you to put it aside for one second so we can talk about this."

"Fine." Rosemary crosses her arms over her chest. "I'm listening." She still looks angry.

And you know what you're about to say is going to make her even angrier.

"We went to talk to the TNT Twins and things went south." You begin, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"Why?"

"I'll explain that later. But all you need to know is that things went badly and Homelander showed up."

Rosemary's hands tighten on her biceps so tight that her knuckles turn white at the mention of Homelander. Like you Rosemary didn't have any experience with him, only that she also knew there was something off about him.

"What did you do?" She whispers.

"It's not what she did, it's more what that fucker did." Ben almost spits, his skin heating where it rests in your hand.

"Ben." You say squeezing his hand softly as a warning. He gains control. "There wasn't a choice. We got into a fight-"

Rosemary's eyes widen, inhaling sharply. And before she can stop herself, she touches your shoulder, eyes tracing your body as if looking for injuries. "Did he hurt you? Are you okay?"

"Yes Rosie I'm fine, but he knows who I am and that means-"

"He knows who we are." Her eyes flick in the direction Lou went to grab her bag. "Shit."

"You can say that again." Ben mutters.

"Give me five minutes." Rosemary looks from Ben to you for a moment. "But this doesn't change anything."

"I know. Just go. We'll wait here." You reply with a tight lipped smile.

You hoped that one day this would get easier, that Rosemary would be able to look at Ben or have a conversation with him without killing him. The three of you seemed to be practically immortal, that was a long time to hold a grudge. And you didn't want there to be a division in your family. You'd lived with one before and you didn't want to go back through that, the awkward holidays, passive aggressive letters, and tense conversations. You didn't want that for your new family.

Maybe if I show her how much Ben has changed she'll warm up to him.

"Are you okay?" You whisper.

Ben was looking around the living room with an unreadable expression, flicking through the photos on the back of the couch of Rosemary, You, and Lou to the hand drawn pictures on the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"Ben?"

"Yeah." He mutters. "I'm fine."

But you could tell he wasn't. He wasn't really focusing on anything, and even his tone of voice was strange, hollow, but before you could press him further Rosemary and Lou come back into the room.

"Here let me-" Ben steps forward to take one of the large duffle bags from Rosemary, attempting to help, but Rosemary yanks the bag out of his reach.

"No I don’t need your help. I don’t need anything from you."

"Rosemary-" You sigh.

"And she doesn’t either." Rosemary gestures to you with the bag. "Do you have any idea what you did to her? How much you hurt her? And now you think you can just waltz back in here and say 'oh I’ll fix it' like you didn’t fuck up her life?"

"Rosemary!" You shout eyes flicking to where Lou was standing with her TMNT backpack on with wide eyes.

"No. You might not be able to say it to him. But I will. We don’t need you here. We've survived the past forty fucking years without you and we'll survive the next million!"

"Rosemary stop." You step forward this time to move between them, but Rosemary doesn't back down.

"Stop what?" She shouts. "Stop reminding you of what he did? I'm sorry, but I'm not going to just look into his eyes and forgive him like you did-"

"I DID NOT LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND FORGIVE HIM.” You snap, but then stop to take a breath. “We are working through it-"

"Uh-huh sure." Rosemary rolls her eyes. "Just stay away from Lou and from me." She moves around Ben with Lou in tow, storming through the front door of the apartment and leaving you and Ben in the living room.

Oh yeah… This is really working out for the best.

The ride to Legend's is dead silent, all three hours, broken up only once when you stop for gas, but even then Rosemary won't speak to you. She barely makes eye contact as she takes Lou to the bathroom, leaving Ben and you to stand at the car, watching the rain soak through the cracked pavement outside. But even Ben has been more quiet than usual, staring through the windshield of the car lost in thought, and you didn't ask him to fill the silence. You figured that with everything that happened over the past few hours, Ben deserved some silence.

When Lou and Rosemary got back to the car, Ben had silently taken the car keys from you and slid behind the wheel. He knew how much you hated driving in the rain.

Legend didn't require an introduction to your daughter, but it had been an awkward meeting for Butcher and Hughie who breezed through the front hallway on the way up the stairs to their bedrooms.

And finally when it was just Ben, Rosemary, Lou, and you standing at the foot of the stairs, you still had no idea what to say, or if there really was anything to say. You knew that Rosemary didn't want to talk out everything in front of Lou.

By now it was past midnight and you could see that Lou was already starting to sway on her feet. It was hours past her bedtime, but she was still in good spirits. Lou never seemed to stop smiling, she was happy all the time, excited to try new things, and it always reminded you of the way Rosemary used to be when she was a child and as an adult before she lost her husband.

"Rosemary-" You begin to say, throat tightening.

"I'm going to take Lou to bed. We can talk in the morning." She doesn't look at Ben or you, but you could tell that she was tired. She was still wearing her maroon scrubs, hadn’t changed out of them, too worried about Homelander, but her hair had pulled free of the bun and her makeup was a little more smudged under her eyes now. "Say goodnight Lou."

"Goodnight aunty y/n." Lou says tottering over to you, and you stoop down on the ground to hug her close to your chest the anxiety about Homelander prickling under your skin once more.

“Tomorrow can we paint some?” She gives you a wide toothless smile.

She'd lost one of her front teeth a few days ago, and was particularly proud of the hole it left behind. She'd been excited to meet the tooth fairy, even wrote a thank you note and drew a picture of her holding her tooth out for the fairy.

“Whatever you want sweetie.” You smile as she pulls away, brushing her dark hair from her wide eyes.

But instead of going back to where Rosie is holding out her hand for Lou, she turns and hugs Ben’s leg where he stands next to you. Her head barely reaches the top of his knee, but it doesn't dissuade her from hugging him with all her might.

Ben stiffens, unsure what to do.

“Goodnight Ben.” Lou looks up at him with the same smile she had for you.

You feel your own lips begin to pull up at the edges to see how much Lou wanted Ben to like her, how much she was trying to make him feel at home. It warmed you heart.

Ben looks stunned for a minute, eyes flicking to yours wide, and Rosie looks angry, but slowly, Ben begins to smile. “Goodnight honey.” He rumbles giving her a pat on the head, because he's still not sure exactly how to handle this.

Lou smiles pleased with herself then lets Rosemary take her away waving once from over Rosemary's shoulder at Ben as Rosemary climbs the stairs in the direction of the room that Legend saved for them.

Ben stands there watching them go for a minute, lost in thought. “She doesn’t like me.”

“Lou? She loves you. Of course there’s a lot to love.” You smile, trying to take his hand, but Ben pulls away. His rejection pricks at your heart, you couldn't tell why he was doing that, why he was pulling away from you again.

Is he angry? At me? At Rosemary? Or Is this him being angry at himself all over again?

You thought that he was doing better up until you went to Rosemary’s apartment, thought that he wasn’t as upset about leaving you in the past. But now you weren’t sure.

“There’s a lot to hate.” He mutters, his eyes won't quite meet yours and the fear of him leaving begins to creep back, shuddering through your bones like the chill of a winter wind.

“As there is with anybody-“ You try to recover from his rejection, searching his face to understand why he was acting so different.

“I want Rosie to like me. I’m her father-“ He turns to stare at you, green eyes dark, filled with an clouding of emotions that strike you straight in the heart. It wasn't happiness, it wasn't love, it was something different, something that made a lump lodge itself in the back of your throat.

“I know Ben. She just needs some time-" You begin to say, reaching for him, but Ben steps away from you again, refusing to let you comfort him.

"Why did you tell her all those things about me? Did you really hate me that much?” Ben shouts, voice reverberating up the staircase, so loud that you're sure other people can hear you.

"What are you talking about-"

"All the shit that happened between us. Everything that happened that night. Everything I did-“

"She asked me for the truth and I didn't want to lie to her-" You try to explain.

You hadn't. You wanted her to know the truth about her father, just as she knew that truth about you. You thought that she deserved that. And it wasn't like you told Rosemary when she was three. You told her everything that happened when she was twenty three and she had just started seriously dating her future husband, when she was scared because she’d never felt that way about anyone before. And it reminded you of how you felt about the boy Ben used to be.

"I wish you had. Damnit y/n I'm her father, she should like me!" He seethes, fists clenched. Ben towers over you green eyes blazing in the soft light coming from the lights that line the hallway.

And somewhere deep down you start to feel angry. It comes surging up like the roar of a crowd pricking at the back of your spine until you can’t take it anymore.

"It's been 4 fucking hours since you met her, GIVE HER TIME."

"I can't believe you did this." Ben spits glaring at you.

"Are you serious right now?" Your mouth opens in shock.

Was this just some kind of joke? Is he really mad at me for this? Does he really think that I would do something like this purposely?!

"Did you really hate me that much? Did you really feel the need to turn her against me? Make her not love me?"

"I didn't turn her against you Ben. And I didn’t make her not love you." You snap back. "Yes I was angry with you, but that didn't mean that I didn't want you with me every single second in Rosemary's life. I didn’t want to do that alone. I shouldn’t have had to but I don't blame you for that. I’ve told you that-“

“Yeah you’re really showing that. You turned her against me. Made me some villain. Made me some monster who fucked you and then left-“

“I THOUGHT THAT’S WHAT YOU DID DIPSHIT!” You poke your finger into his chest. “Just because I’ve chosen to begin to forgive you does not mean I forgot what you did and what you said to me that night. But I’ll say this.”

He tries to open his mouth to retort, but you speak first.

“Every time something happened with Rosemary I turned to tell you and you weren’t there.

When I went into labor I wished you were there to hold my hand and tell me that everything was going to be okay, I wished that you were there smiling down at her when you held her for the first time. When she took her first steps and fell on her butt I wished you were there to swing her around and make her laugh. When I showed her how to paint for the first time I wished that you were there to see how she was covered in paint from head to toe. And I only told her those things about you because she asked and I don’t lie to my family. I’ve never lied to Rosemary and I’ve never lied to you. Ever.”

Ben stands there stuck straight each muscle clenched, wether it be in frustration or anger you don’t care. Your own anger was coming back, unlocking from the place you shoved it down when you thought you needed to be the perfect person you wanted others to see you as and not the broken girl who lived with a hole in her heart for so long.

“And yeah maybe you can be in here and pout and fucking blame me for her hating you. And maybe I shouldn’t have told her those things but I did. I told her the good and the bad about you just as she knows the good and the bad about me. She can make her own decisions because she’s a damn adult. And don’t you dare say that I didn’t want you there every second. Because I did. Even though you fucking ripped my heart out and stomped all over it I still wished that you could have been there for her, could have filled her life with love as much as I did.”

"But you still did it." Ben growls.

And you realize that maybe this is it, maybe that this is the one thing that pushes him away from you.

"Fine. Hate me if you want. I'm going to get a drink. Don’t follow me." You snap before turning and stomping towards the kitchen, away from him, all the while hoping that he’ll follow after you.

But he doesn’t.

Despite wanting to grab one of the bottles of whiskey in Legend's kitchen, you restrain yourself and instead turn to the coffeemaker. It was fancier than yours, but you supposed that coffee would taste the same. You busy yourself with the steps of making the coffee to stop going over what you and Ben just yelled at one another, but your hands were still shaking.

Did he really think I didn't want him there? I mean yeah I was pissed from everything that happened, but I didn't want Rosemary to grow up without a father. I would have told him eventually that I was pregnant, I didn't want to do that alone.

You pour yourself a cup of coffee and lean back against the counter as you take a sip remembering the day you took the pregnancy test. It was more obvious than anything else, not the lack of your period but the morning sickness. You never got sick. You remembered being afraid at first, the thought of raising a child alone scared you. You weren't sure you even wanted to be a mother, because of everything yours put you through. But then you thought of Ben. Yes you hated him, but the baby might be the last part of him that existed anywhere. If you decided not to have it, Ben would really be gone and you would be alone all over again. So you decided to have Rosemary and you never regretted that decision. Especially now that she had Lou.

You roll the cup in your hands, feeling the warmth of the mug transfer into your palms.

Maybe I shouldn't have told her everything I did. But she knows everything about me. She knows that I killed Countess. She knows the good and bad about me. It felt unfair to only tell her the good about Ben, she deserves to know the truth. She's just upset. Honestly, she's also a upset with me as well for forgiving him or partially forgiving him.

You move to the kitchen table, stretching out in the worn wooden chair and place your mug down on the circular dark wood table. You wanted Rosemary to warm up to him, but at the same time you didn't want to get in between them. She needed to do this for herself and you didn't want to force them together.

You hear someone enter the kitchen. Probably Ben. But when you look up you realize that it's Butcher.

He stands just on the edge as if he's debating whether or not he wants to come in.

"Didn't realize you were still up." He raises an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise love?"

"You realize that the V is completely out of your system right now right? And I could slowly peel your skin from your body with my mind if I wanted to?" You mirror his eyebrow raise while taking a sip of coffee.

"Eh. Worse ways to go." Butcher shrugs. "Anything stronger in here than coffee?"

"Top cabinet above the refrigerator. The good stuff is in the back. Legend usually tries to hide it from himself."

“Why?”

“Because he thinks it’s a waste to drink the good stuff when he’s really drunk and can’t appreciate it.”

“Seems fair.” Butcher finds the bottle of whiskey easily, moving to the cabinets to find a glass. “You want a cuppa?”

“I told myself I wasn’t going to-“ You pause for a moment thinking of how wonderful it would be if you could just forget for a few minutes. “But sure.”

“Coffee not working?”

“It never has.” You take the cup gratefully from his outstretched hand as Butcher folds himself into the chair next to you. It was weird to say the least. The only thing he had done was act hostile to you and now him being nice was enough to give you whiplash.

The rest of the house was completely silent, except the soft turn of pages. You figured that meant Rosie was reading one of her books to distract herself from everything that happened earlier.

I should be in there talking to her. Trying to explain all this.

But you were tired and still reeling from your fight with Ben and didn’t feel like getting into it with Rosemary for the second time today.

“So why’d you do it?” Butcher takes a big swig from the glass in front of him.

“What?”

“You lied about your powers to Vought for years. Why?”

You roll the glass between your fingers, watching the amber colored liquid slosh against the sides. “I’ll answer that if you answer my question.”

Butcher pauses. “Fine.”

“What did Homelander do to your wife?”

Butcher freezes, leaning back in his chair, one hand on his thigh curling into a fist.

"Legend told me that you had this thing for him because of it-" You continue cocking your head to the side examining Butcher's sudden tense stance.

“Not important.”

“Then I guess you won’t find out more about me.” You shrug.

After the past few days you didn't understand how you were here drinking with Butcher of all people. You still didn't completely trust him and you didn't like that he wanted to use Ben like he was his own personal nuclear bomb.

You both sit in the silence for a few minutes waiting for the other to break.

“He raped her.”

The words are heavy, expelled in a breath after Butcher drains his glass. For a minute you see his tough exterior crack, see the vulnerability in his stature, but then it's gone again. You feel your heart thud once in your chest, jaw locking. It only proved again how messed up Homelander was.

“Is she-"

"She's dead." He pours himself another full glass from the bottle of whiskey.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, starting to understand why he hated Homelander so much. Honestly if Homelander did something like that to my family I would rip him limb from limb.

For the first time since you met Butcher, you feel sorry for him, you understand where the sadness in his gaze comes from and where the tough exterior seems to mask the vulnerability underneath.

But at the same time, you refused to underestimate him.

Butcher nods once then glances over at you expectantly as if re-asking his question with only a look.

“It’s never been about the power for me. Or about proving how powerful I was to other people. I got the injection because Ben asked me to. It wasn't because I wanted to be superhuman or god-like or special. Plus I figured as soon as Vought or the government found out what I could really do then I’d never see the light of day again.”

"But how did you keep it a secret from Vought? They have so many fucking connections." He presses.

"Honestly Ben and I didn't figure it out until the 60s."

"Why is that?"

"The first time I died it wasn't a supe that killed me so there wasn't a change. But later when more supes started coming out of the woodwork, that's when we realized it. And I didn't care."

"Somehow you had to care." Butcher leans forward in his chair, looking at you like you're crazy.

"I didn't have a reason to. Ben liked the spotlight and I didn't."

“Is that why you stopped being Indigo?”

“It’s my turn to ask a question cowboy.” You tap your glass with a smile. “Who’s Ryan?” You had heard Hughie and Butcher whisper the name a few times, figured that it was another supe they were planning to merc.

He hesitates. “Homelander’s kid.”

“He has a kid?” Your mouth drops open in shock.

How does Butcher know that? Is it because he's so obsessed with Homelander that he's going to ask Ben to go after Homelander's son? No. No way. Like hell I'm gonna let this guy kill a kid.

You try to think of a reason why Vought would keep Homelander's son out of the media, a reason why they wouldn't show that the golden boy had a perfect son.

“But how I mean-“ You stop tracing Butcher's face, watching the way his eyes harden, and how his jaw locks together and you realize why Butcher knows about Homelander's kid. “Your wife.”

Butcher doesn’t answer, doesn't confirm what you've said, instead he pours more from the bottle into his glass.

Wow that’s fucked up.

“I’d say I'm sorry again, but I don’t think it’s going to help and honestly I thought my life was way more fucked up than yours. Guess not.” You take a sip from the glass in front of you. It burns pleasantly as it travels down you throat reminding you how much you missed it. “It got old quick.”

“What did?” Butcher looks up from the wooden table.

“Being a hero dealing with all that Vought shit. Plastering a smile on my face, flaunting in front of the cameras, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Ben liked it. He was always in the spotlight, the golden boy and I was too, but we’d been doing it for years and I always- I don’t know- wanted a family.”

Your mind suddenly goes back to the night you told Ben that, the night that you told him what you wanted and how today Ben professed that he wanted to be the one to give you those things, always had wanted to give you those things.

The fight you just had resurfaces in your mind, thinking of how angry he was at you for telling Rosemary the truth about him.

I made my choice. She made hers. One day I think she'll warm up to him, but until then he's just going to have to get through this.

Just because you believed that did not make it any easier. Your heart was tearing in two. You wanted Rosemary to love him the way you did, but at the same time you were scared all over again that this would all be too much for Ben, too dramatic. He didn't like drama, never seemed to.

“Really?” Butcher doesn’t look convinced by your confession.

“Yeah. Plus I was pregnant with Soldier Boy's kid. Vought was obsessed with Ben and I know that if they knew about Rosemary they wouldn't hesitate to take her away. It would have been worse if they knew what my power was. I doubt they would have let either of us vanish into thin air. But even before that I was seriously thinking about getting out-“

“And Soldier Boy fucking Countess was the final nail in the coffin eh?” Butcher's smirk makes your stomach flip flop.

You were still trying to forget that. Really trying to forget that.

“Yeah.” You grumble into the glass momentarily remembering the night at the premiere, but this time seeing them together doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. And instead it’s replaced by Ben the past few days, the one that continued to reassure you of his love, the one who continued to hold you close to him, the one that kissed you whenever he could, the one who patiently waited for you, and the one who reminded you of the boy you lost all those years ago.

Butcher watches you for a moment. “I’m sorry. That must’ve been hard.”

You look at him surprised. It was the first time that Butcher seemed to actually, well, give a shit.

“Thanks. It was.” You wait a second. “So how did you meet Hughie?”

“Why is that important?”

“Because he’s nothing like you. He’s a good kid.”

“You sayin I ain’t a good person love?”

“Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Butcher has the audacity to smile. “You know what I think? I think you pretend to be a good person but you’re really just a bitch who probably didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.”

You lean back in your chair feigning shock. “Is it that obvious?”

He shakes his head with a chuckle. “I don’t see how you got mixed up with Soldier Boy in the first place.”

“I did tell you.”

“What?”

“I didn’t lie about some of the things I said to you the first time we met. Ben and I grew up together. We were friends before all of this.”

“And you what? Followed him?”

“Something like that.”

Butcher sits there for a second tapping his finger on the crystal glass in his hand. Everything in Legend's home was vintage or old, the glasses included. You could remember drinking out of these same glasses years ago, on the porch behind Legend's house the day you realized you were pregnant and you told him you were leaving.

Legend didn't know, but you think deep down he did. Anyone who knew Ben couldn't dismiss how much Rosemary looked like him. Not to mention Legend knew what happened that night between the two of you.

Butcher opens his mouth, but as he does, Ben appears in the kitchen doorway. He still looks a little angry, frown prominent on his face, but his green eyes look from the glass to Butcher to you.

"That's my cue." Butcher grunts. "See you in the morning poppet." He vanishes down the hallway behind Ben leaving the two of you alone in the kitchen. It seems smaller with him standing there in the door, blocking most of it with his broad shoulders and wide stance.

"Are you going to come to bed?" He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the doorway.

"Are you going to start yelling at me again?" You raise an eyebrow.

"I wasn’t fucking yelling." Ben grumbles. "And even if I was, you weren't exactly whispering."

"Sounded like yelling to me." You frown at him, before looking down at your glass again.

So much for an apology. Then again I probably owe him one too.

Ben’s jaw tightens. “Please come to bed.” His voice is composed, but you can still hear the tinge of his anger seep through.

"Surprised you said please. Finally using those manners I've heard so much about." You snark before you can stop yourself.

That is not helping anything.

"Come to bed." His teeth are gritted together.

“Why?"

"Because I said so."

"You are not my dad Ben. You can't just order me around."

"Just fucking come to bed!" He snaps straightening from the door, eyes blazing.

"Why is it so important I come to bed Ben? You need me to read you a bedtime story or something? Or is it because you want to have sex? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t really feel like having sex with you right now. And I don't think I will anytime soon if we keep fucking fighting about stupid-“

“Because I can’t sleep without you there damnit! I never have been able to even when we were fucking kids!"

You pause shocked. Ben had never admitted that before. You were still trying to get used to when he admitted that he loved you how open and vulnerable he’d been, but this-

He’s frowning at you waiting for you to say something, but when you don’t. He turns and stalks back towards the stairs to descend into the basement where the bedroom the two of you were sharing was.

Guilt breaks something in your chest, because now sitting out here felt like a punishment for him and you didn't think that was right.

Damn it.

You wash out the mug in the sink followed by the glass, but you look at the half-full bottle on the table.

Maybe I should bring it with me?

It swings from your hand as you walk down the dimly lit hallway descending into the fully furnished basement. You weren't thrilled with the room, had insisted that Legend change the sheets and spray down the room before you could sleep in there. You knew him, and knew exactly what had happened Legend's house since he had it custom built years ago.

Ben is sitting on the edge of the bed, smoking a blunt that he probably got from Butcher, who seemed to have an endless supply for Ben, much to your annoyance.

"I'm such a fucking pussy. I shouldn't have said that." He mutters more to himself than to you. His gaze is lowered on the shag carpet.

It was the first time that you'd heard him say something like that since he came back to you, something that sounded more like Soldier Boy than the boy you grew up with, sounded more like Ben's father.

"Ben." You sigh, putting the bottle on the bedside table, before you tilt his head back to look at you, hand cupping his chin. "You're not a pussy. I can't sleep without you either and there’s nothing wrong with that. I don't want you to feel like you can't say stuff like that to me. I love you and I won't judge you for that or think less of you. I will judge you for saying stupid shit like you did earlier."

“I’m sorry.” He sighs out a breath of smoke. “I just hate that she doesn’t like me. I’m her father she should like me-“ He repeats the same idea from earlier.

“She just needs to warm up to you."

“Maybe.” Ben mutters. "Or maybe she won't."

He looks upset. But not his usually angry upset, more disappointed and you decide that’s worse. Ben was so strong and didn’t allow himself to give in to his emotions the same way everyone else did. You hated that about him, but you were the only person who knew why. Ben's father had made him believe that showing emotion made you weak, you were there a few times that he yelled at Ben, heard the horrible things that he shouted at his only son, and it broke your heart. If it was your lot in life to bring him peace, to show him love, and to teach him that it was okay to be vulnerable, you happily would bear that cross.

You gently push back on his shoulder so he’ll move his forearms where they rest on his thighs and so you can sit on his lap. Ben’s arm comes around your waist to hold you to him, while the other continues to rest between you when he takes another drag from the blunt. “Ben, I promise she will.” Your knees rest on either side of his hips as you balance on him, ignoring the urge to wrinkle your nose at the smell.

“Your family never seems to like me.”

“She’s your family too and Lou loves you.” You brush his hair back from his face and he leans forward into your touch. "She's an excellent judge of character. Pretty soon she's gonna be drawing you in the family portraits and once that happens you're in, there's nothing stopping you."

Ben's mouth twitches but he doesn’t smile. "She's cute."

“She is. And if she likes you, you’re doing something right.” You smile at him. “And my family liked you it was just my mom who thought you were the devil. My brother thought that you were okay and my dad liked you plenty. Remember he never ratted you out when you slept in my room?”

“He was a good man. We would talk sometimes.” Ben blows out a lungful of smoke and this time your nose wrinkles at the offensive smell, before you realize what he’s just admitted.

Ben notices your discomfort and flicks the blunt into the ashtray shaped like a naked woman on the bedside table.

“About what?” Your father had never mentioned any conversation with Ben or at least you didn't remember him saying anything about Ben, beside your father's usual questions as to what Ben and you were going to do that day.

“You.” Ben whispers, not meeting your eye.

“When?”

“Sometimes I’d come try to see you when you were out with Howard." Ben sighs his name. "Ended up talking with your dad.”

“Are you serious?”

He nods hands gently stroking along your waist.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you came by?”

“Didn’t think it was important Sweetheart.” Ben pauses eyes flicking up sheepishly to look at you. "I didn't want you to think that I was hanging around waiting for you to get back. I was but-" You can tell that it pains him to say it, like he didn't want to admit he cared, but the thought that he came by to check on you made you happy.

“What did you say about me?”

Ben presses his lips together.

“Ben?”

“He wanted to know how your artwork was coming along, what we had done in the past week. Stuff like that. One time he said he didn’t like Howard either.”

“What?" Your hands tighten on Ben's shoulders in shock.

“He said that he hated the way you looked whenever Howard came around and then he said if he was gonna give his permission for anyone to marry you it was going to be me.” Ben shrugs it off as if he hasn’t said the most shocking thing you’ve ever heard in your life.

Your father would ask you about Ben occasionally and only when your mother left the room. He always seemed pleased when Ben would come pick you up, one time he gave Ben some money so he could buy tickets when you both went to a carnival, but you had no idea that they had talked about Ben marrying you.

“Hold on. Did you-" You pause for a second. "Did you ask my father if you could marry me?”

“No.” Ben answers quickly.

“Well then did he say why he didn't like Howard?"

“He said he liked how happy I made you. Said that you would always be singing in your room after you saw me.” Ben smiles one of his hands curving around your hip to hold you steady on his lap. “I told him I was sorry he had to hear that. You have many talents y/n, but singing is not one of them.”

“I don’t want to hear it from you. There’s about a million tapes of you trying to sing, not to mention you trying to dance. I wanted to jump out the window when you dragged me to that Solid Gold Music Video shoot.“ You roll your eyes at him.

Ben presses a hand to his chest as if offended. “You don’t like the way I dance? Because I happen to remember a few times that we’ve danced together and you certainly seemed to be having a good time.”

“I’m a good actress.”

“Sure.” Ben snorts. “Then again I think I’m good a few other things too. Things that I wouldn’t mind showing you sometime.” His arm wraps around your waist as he pulls you into his chest, lips catching along the shadow of your jaw.

“You’re awfully sure of yourself I’ll say that.” You laugh.

"Mhmm." The rumble of his answer seems to vibrate down your spine spreading warmth in its wake.

"Ben." You warn, as his hands begin to play with the bottom of your shirt.

"I know." He whispers raising his eyes again to look at your face with a soft smile, but you can still see a flicker of disappointment behind them.

Deep down you knew that you were getting closer to forgiving him, but it had only been two days, and everything between the two of you was still a little rocky. You wanted things to calm down again before you took that big step with Ben again. You didn't want to rush it, and you could see that Ben didn't want to either.

"How about tonight, we do something a little different." You trace your index finger over his lips, loving the soft curve beneath the pad of your fingertip.

"What do you mean?" He looks confused.

"You'll see." You murmur against his lips as you drop your mouth down to his, losing yourself in him all over again.

A/N: I know it's been a while guys and I know it's crazy to end it on another cliffhanger but... I'm sorry, not sorry? I hope y'all enjoyed this one. I'm sorry it took me a while to get it out, the writer's block is turning into a soul sucking abyss, but honestly, what's new? 😂 Hope that y'all enjoyed this one and I'm excited to hear what y'all think!

As always thank you so much for reading! If you'd like to be added to my taglist for the series let me know:)

(Also if you have asked to be apart of the taglist and you are not being notified- I am trying to fix it, but it's being weird. Please let me know if you haven't received a notification.)

Taglist: @roseblue373 @anundyingfidelity @cheynovak @cassiecasluciluce @muhahaha303

@deans-spinster-witch @kayleighmeister @demodemo909 @fruitfacess @bobbobbobinogs

@bughill126 @simplyfixated

#soldier boy x you #soldier boy #soldier boy x female reader #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy/ben #jensen ackles soldier boy #jensen ackles #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys amazon #the boys fanfic #billy butcher #hughie campbell #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fic #the boys s3 #the boys season 3 #the boys tv #the boys series #the boys

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neil-gaiman · 1 year ago

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tw: suicide, pet loss, abuse, mental hospital

hey, mr. gaiman... i have a bit of an odd request, but it is a rather important one to me. i lost my best friend back in december. she was my dog and my esa (emotional support animal. for anyone who doesn't know what that is, esas are NOT service dogs and do not have public access rights. their only rights is they can be in non pet friendly housing without having pet rent charged and they have no special training. psychiatric service dogs and emotional support dogs are different.) but she was my whole world. we watched season 1 of good omens together, we watched doctor who together, and we watched coraline together. i always told her we'd watch season 2 together, so when it came out and she wasn't by my side watching it with me you can imagine how heartbroken i felt. i kept looking over at her spot on my bed and it just hurt me so much that i didn't get to experience it with the dog that i had by my side when i started. she was there by my side when i got out of my abusive relationship when i was 15. she was there by my side when i attempted suicide. she was there by my side when i got out of the mental hospital. she was there for me when i had nobody. she was my everything and i miss her more than anything in the world. today, when i came into my room to go to bed, i heard her snoring and i just broke. i started sobbing and fell to the floor begging her to come back to me. it sounded just like her. it was my fucking mini fridge. it was the most heartbreak i've felt since she passed away. after i watched season 2, i had planned on having her name in cursive added to her paw print tattoo on my left wrist. and then i thought about asking you to write her name in cursive, it would mean the world to me, having a bit of something that meant so much to me added to a tattoo of my best friend. have a few pictures of my angel as a thank you for even just reading this.

and here's where i was planning to have her name added to her tattoo.

thank you again for taking the time to read this, and i remember a few asks about trigger warnings so i added those on my own, because i also have a few triggers that i'd appreciate if we're taken into account💜

Of course I will. And I'm so sorry for your loss. (I'm just at the point where I'm ready to let a new dog into my life, a decade after my last one died. I still miss him.)

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sillygoofyqueer · 4 months ago

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Even more thoughts, for you to post if you so choose!

I do love the idea of Shen Yuan having a fancy hair piece with a pin that doubles as a weapon! Just because demon crows don’t have access to spiritual swords doesn’t mean he can’t stab the hell out of you.

For his main weapon, I’m thinking crow demons that can take human form tend to use bows, with the feathers shed by their clan as fletching. (Perhaps demon feathers also grant abilities of some sort to the arrows?)

Looking at the iridescence of crow feathers reminds me of the Chinese tradition of making jewelry with kingfisher feathers. Now I think it would be lovely if the crow demons also had a tradition of fashioning similar jewelry with their own feathers, perhaps treated with solutions and lacquered in a way that brings out even more of their color.

Speaking of colors, while crows aren’t among those birds able to see significant ultraviolet, they are tetrachromats, and thus are able to distinguish colors to a far greater extent than humans. I’m sure his sudden ability to see way more colors than he could in his last life is very perplexing to poor Shen Yuan!

The regular crows acting as an alarm system by cursing and saying spooky nonsense at all unknown visitors is an absolute delight!

I vote that Shen Yuan intentionally never gives them whatever signal that would mark Airplane as a friend, just so they continue to harass the guy every time he comes to visit. 😂

(I’m thinking poor Airplane is trying to set up trade routes for demons, and struggling with the general hostility different types of demons have for one another. Killing interlopers and/or raiding other demons for their stuff is not conductive to trade! It’s no wonder demons lack the arts. Nobody shares anything with anyone, except when giving demon nobles tribute. 😭)

You know, with all the feathers and bird-folks about, the transmigrators probably figure out quill pens. Not sure how big of an improvement they’d be compared to brushes, but they’re at least more like what the transmigrators are used to.

It’d also be funny if all the demon crows and villagers were learning to write simplified Chinese from Shen Yuan, instead of traditional, leading visitors to wonder what the hell is up with this one location’s weird writing system, where half the characters are inexplicably different.

(He probably teaches them traditional too, if only for the sake of reading imported books and things, but simplified is probably faster for personal notes and bookkeeping or the like).

I've always loved when people have weapons in discreet places, so it seemed necessary to dump that onto Shen Yuan because he's the most iconic character ever. Especially CrowYuan as well, it seems like something he'd do just to be safe when it comes to these things - after everything he's read, it's hard not to always be prepared. (Also, a more cheeky reason if I may, imagine Shen Yuan in a sticky situation and he pulls the hair pin out of his hair, now holding a weapon and looking AWESOME as he does it) Also, main weapon as a bow IS MAKING ME LOOOSE MY MIND. Ever since I was little, I've been obsessed with people who use bows (Legolas, Robin Hood, Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, various book characters) and the idea of giving Shen Yuan a bow?? I am dropping to my knees and shaking my fists at the sky. HUZZAAAHH!!! Feathers as fletching is a great idea, almost like a calling card of sorts, as well as a warning. Demon feathers giving certain abilities to arrows is a brilliant idea, such as resilience, poison, increased speeds (useful for high pressure situations where someone has to die before they can be alerted). I'd find it interesting if different demon feathers grant different abilities, and it's almost a norm for these demons to trade feathers! The jewellery idea is absolutely gorgeous and adorable! I was thinking that it could mainly be a crow demon thing, and to have one made for you if you aren't a crow demon is a sign of great trust within the community, a decision that has to be agreed to by at least half of the community! Also, itty bitty angst idea, this jewellery could also be highly sought out because it's gorgeous and its making is entirely a clan secret that is only taught to those within it - so, it's often seen as a spoil of war, a way to brag about a crow demon's death is to wear the jewellery "won" from "battle". Shen Yuan would most definitely be thrown off guard by this wider arrange of colours, often found in the wildest areas of the forest and just staring at everything. At first, he wonders if it's because he's a demon now, but more research (aka, bullying a demon chicken Airplane for answers) shows that it is fact not because he's a demon, but instead because he's a crow. He is both excited that he can see all these colours and fiercely delighted that Airplane can't, because he's a spiteful little shit and I love him. If Airplane comes to visit, he's grown adept to immediately submitting to the harassment of the crows because they soon grow bored of him if they don't get any reaction other than pitiful screaming. (He would highly suffer from trying to set up trade routes as well, lmaooo) OH MY GOD, if Mobei Jun ever comes to visit Bing-ge, he would also be immediately attacked by crows and that is funnier than anything else right now in my mind. His stern face immediately becomes one of absolute outrage, but it quickly becomes confusion when Bing-ge says he can't attack them back because "Shen Yuan would never forgive me" On the idea of feathers as quill pens, that would end up being incredibly useful for them! Perhaps the use of certain demon feathers would be better than others if we go by different demon feathers holding different abilities - for instance, let's say crow feathers hold increased speed, that would be helpful for writing because one would merely need to guide the quill and let it do the rest. However, a demon feather that created a poison effect, let's say chicken feathers, would not be the best for writing, which makes certain feathers more valuable than others for different things! Shen Yuan would be a great teacher, because he knows the traditional Chinese - which is useful for things you previously mentioned - but then he would be able to introduce a whole new writing system that makes it easier to write. This would be especially useful for those who may struggle with the traditional Chinese, because then they would still be able to access writing!! {part seven! part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, and part six!}

#four answers asks #crowyuan au #at least I don't have summer work anymore #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #svsss #svsss au #shen yuan #luo bingge #bingge #binggeyuan

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emilibro · 6 months ago

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Ughhh I'm so sorry to be an ass but I see so much popular art on tumblr and around the internet that really woobifies both Laios and Kabru and their relationship, especially when they're together.... You guys are aware that Laios eats monsters the way people would like. Eat animals, right? He's not crazy or stupid or sadistic or anything. He has a special interest and it's monsters.

Furthermore, his past having himself and his sister be shunned for their interests in the abnormal made him develop a distaste for humanity. Laios has just thought monsters were way cooler since he was a kid, and Falin really looked up for him for his dedication to his interests and personal code of moral ethics. He never loved his sister less for her abilities, he admired her for what made her different. Because he's fucking awesome and they're autistic as hell.... they both went through so damn much. Laios never fit into the military, into his hometown, he barely fit into most groups of adventurers since he met Marcille, chilchuck, and company, and two of the members of that original party didn't care enough to join him. His feeling of worthlessness to his friends in the beginning of the story are enough to make him imagine a whole scenario in between major chapters where he was the one who was eaten.. and he thought nobody except Falin would care enough to save him.

Point being Laios has a much richer character that goes ALONGSIDE his special interest in monsters. Which honestly is more comparable to, like. A fucking biologist. Not a monsterfucker, not a cannibal, none of that shit. Monsterfuckers are cool as a monsterfucker but he's not one.. he's more like a furry man.... And he's not stupid he's just. Autistic. Why are we making autistic characters with a silly side seem stupid? Everyone has dumb moments sure but like.. he's really smart guys... there's a reason he's such a good leader outside of his ability to listen to his party members. Don't fall for the mischaracterization of Laios that his party members originally set for him before major important arcs guys...

And Kabru. Oh my God. Kabru. Kabru is also autistic but for humans, social interactions and culture... he's a nerd for politics and the humanities, and I'll avoid saying much more to avoid spoilers for non-manga readers but you'll see more of that as time passes. But he's not the type to be easily flustered. Laios only gets to him, not even because he's that difficult to read, but because he catches him off guard. He's an interesting critter, bro. And Kabru definitely sees that. It takes time to respect that, but within a period of time he learns to see him as a relatively competent adventurer and places a lot of faith from him. On some level, this guy has learned to understand this very interesting autistic guy who is forward with his feelings that a very autistic Kabru hasn't learned to understand. That's what makes their relationship so cool, man. He's not cold in reality (though people may perceive him that way due to backstory motivations and attitude within the dungeon), but he's a lot more serious than this... c'mon guys.. let's be a little real here please.... at this point I barely like Labru anymore because they've been so like. Babied. Woobified. Whatever the word is man. I'm starting to appreciate their friendship more as a friendship now because I just think the beautiful qualities I saw in their romance have been sort of overlooked or misinterpreted. Nowadays I just think their platonic relationship is beautiful. Sighs.

Farcille is awesome though and these girls are awesome slay

Edit: hey guys, I wanna address a couple of things here! For one, this isn't intended to be ship hate. Labru is a perfectly valid ship - rather, I'm just not a fan of how deep the mischaracterization of both characters runs, and how it results in the subsequent babying of their relationship. While it's driven me personally away from the romance a bit, I have no problem with the ship itself. Additionally, Farcille has its own issues with woobification that could use some addressing, I just haven't had to see as much mischaracterization on my feeds. Maybe in a future post I'll address some of my personal peeves with many people's characterization of Farcille, ESPECIALLY Falin.

#dunmeshi #dungeon meshi spoilers #dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #text #rant #labru #laios touden #kabru of utaya #i got something to say

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pasukiyo · 2 years ago

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Omg i just read "wrapped around your finger" and JDJLDKSKS it was so good 🤤🤤 could you maybe do a part 2 where tom asks mr and mrs Lestrange to marry her and they're completely baffled and tom is just wildly in love (smut is appreciated)

𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | tom riddle

tom riddle x f!muggle-born reader 7,072 words warnings: smut, prejudice against muggle-borns. notes: reader is hufflepuff, this can be read as its own imagine, but it is part two to this fic. i would suggest you read part one for more context. summary: it’s been a few months since the lestranges’ famed christmas party. a month before graduation, tom riddle comes to a realization that you are what he wants. he doesn’t care about anything else, all he cares about is having you and how powerful you make him feel.

“Tom… we have… to get… to class,” she managed to say between kisses, his hand in her hair, the other resting on her hip. He kissed her deeper, taking the moment and stretching it out as far as he could until she tapped his shoulder, signaling that it was really time to go. He pulled away, his chest heaving as he panted, and he gazed down at the Hufflepuff girl he had pressed against the door of the broom closet.

His hand dropped to the nape of her neck and he could feel the heat as it crept up her skin as she straightened her robes, pressing her fingers to her lips where the phantom of his kiss still lingered. He didn’t move, only let his gaze linger on her before finally, she broke the silence that had since ensued.

“Tom… I have to get to Transfiguration…”

“Can I see you tonight?”

She blinked and stared up at his handsome dark eyes, still visible even in the dim broom closet. She shifted beneath her weight, “I don’t know, Tom. I have to study for my Potions…”

“Please.”

She knew she wouldn’t be able to resist when he used such a tone, and she mentally groaned, damning him for having such an effect on her. She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and nodded, swiping the hair on either side of her face behind her ear. He kissed her temple when she did, and he dropped his head so that his lips could ghost over the shell of her ear, shivers slithering like snakes down her spine.

“Meet me in the Astronomy Wing tonight.”

He began to back away and out of the closet, her hand in his all the way up until it naturally slipped out, and she smiled. “Alright,” she agreed, and he hummed in approval. “Excellent,” he said before turning to stride off down the long corridor, and she stepped out of the broom closet to watch until he disappeared around the corner, heat searing her cheeks.

She hugged her Transfiguration book to her chest as she touched her lips with her free hand, barely managing to contain her smile before she spun around on her heel and headed for the Transfiguration Courtyard. Clara Wingrave, a fellow Hufflepuff with brown skin and shoulder length, curly black hair joined her side as they approached the doors leading out to the courtyard, and she smiled at the girl.

Clara tilted her head as they stepped outside, the corner of her lips curving into an amused smirk. “You seem quite happy,” Clara said, and she flushed, brushing hair back behind her ear. “Do I?”

“Yes, you do.”

Clara looked around the courtyard as they strode through, making their way for the Transfiguration classroom. When she was sure nobody else was around to eavesdrop, she leaned into her friend’s shoulder, her lips close to her ear. “Who’s the boy?”

She blinked and stopped walking altogether, taken aback by what Clara had been asking. Clara giggled behind her hand as she turned to look back at her astonished friend. “Oh, come on. Why are you acting so surprised?” Clara asked, and her friend shook her head. “I don’t know what you mean by boy,” she replied, hugging her books tighter as she began to walk again, but Clara still stuck to her side, teasingly prodding her finger against her shoulder.

“Don’t act coy. I know love when I see it,” Clara chuckled as they entered the Transfiguration classroom where most of the class already was, and they took their seats beside each other. Clara leaned in closer as they set the things down, and she furrowed her brows as she gazed at her friend. Clara grinned, “you’re in love.”

Scarlet embarrassment burned her skin and she crossed her arms on the desk in front of her, hiding her face between them. Clara laughed again as she turned to face her, eyebrows pinched. “Have I been that obvious?” She asked and Clara rolled her eyes, leaning in and putting a hand over the top of hers. “It concerns me that you don’t think you’ve been obvious,” Clara whispered and she groaned, resting on her elbows to hide her face in her hands.

Clara leaned back in her seat and laughed again, “so, who’s the lucky boy?” She asked again, and she peeled back her fingers to peek at her friend between them. Neither she or Tom had told anyone about their relationship, neither daring to risk outing themselves to her brother, mostly in fear that she’d be tormented to no end.

But she could trust Clara. She knew she wouldn’t dare spill her secret to anyone else, so she leaned in, cupping her hand around Clara’s ear, shielding her lips away from everyone else as she told her friend her secret. “Tom Riddle,” she murmured her lover’s name, and when she leaned back into her seat, Clara’s lips were ajar so wide her jaw may as well have been on the ground.

“You’re snogging the Head Boy?” Clara asked, perhaps a little too loudly for her comfort, so she swatted her friend’s shoulder, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t make me Obliviate you,” she warned, and Clara shook her head, her laugh coming out as more of a breath. “No, no I just…” she leaned back in her seat, tapping her fingers on the top of the desk. “Wow. I just wasn’t expecting that.”

She tilted her head, curious. “What’s that supposed to mean?” She inquired, and Clara shook her head again, moving her hair out of her face. “Nothing, it’s just…” she rolled her bottom lip around between her teeth, contemplating her words. “…he just doesn’t seem the type to… date, you know? I’m just surprised, is all.”

She hummed, nodding as she relaxed back into her seat. She could definitely agree with Clara there, she never imagined Tom going out with anyone before, much less to be the one he was seeing. She could only imagine how other people saw him, especially students who weren’t of Slytherin House, considering the people Tom was usually seen hanging around with didn’t have the brightest of reputations— her brother especially.

But she knew he wasn’t like her brother and his gang. Tom Riddle could never be like that.

“I thought so too but…” she trailed off as the Professor began her Transfiguration lesson, and she leaned into Clara’s side to whisper, “he surprised me too.”

And Tom always did.

Later that night, she tread carefully through the corridor leading to the Astronomy Wing, the sky bruised with a dark purple, slowly morphing into black above. She searched the hallway for Hogwarts’ Head Boy, painfully aware of how close to curfew it was. Unfortunately she was not a prefect, and she didn’t dare risk detention so close to the end of her last year.

She paced back and forth, searching for her lover and his dark head of hair, mentally cursing as she leaned back against the wall. She couldn’t see him anywhere, and although she knew it was unlike him to forget, but still, she couldn’t help her impatience.

It wasn’t until she felt a pair of hands grab her waist and tugged her back that she yelped, turning in the arms of her sudden captor to gaze into the dark eyes of Tom Riddle.

“Tom!” She squealed, pushing her fist against his chest, stumbling back when he removed his arms. “You scared the living daylight out of me!” Tom held her hand gently, his touch so light it felt barely there, and if it weren’t for his warmth, he may as well have been a ghost. He leaned down to press his lips to the top of her knuckles, all the while gazing up at her through hooded lids.

“Apologies,” he murmured against her skin, giving her hand a firm squeeze when he stood back up. “And I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting. Ran into Professor Slughorn, you see.”

She pressed her lips together and hummed, stepping closer to where Tom stood with his back against the wall, slithering her arms around his middle. “I can only imagine what he’d want to talk to you about, Head Boy,” she tittered as she rested the side of her head against his chest, feeling the tension in her muscles unravel when he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, his lips on the crown of her head. “Hilarious,” he muttered, his kisses working down her face and to her lips, and he hummed against them before pulling away, taking her hand in his.

“I want to show you something,” he said, beginning to lead her down the hall and up one of the large, spiral staircases. She furrowed her brows when they reached the top and he led her down the corridor only to stop at the end, turning back around to face her.

“Where are we going?” She asked, curious when his eyes shone, even in the darkness of the castle. “Just trust me,” was all he said before he paced back and forth down the corridor, exactly three times. She watched him in bewilderment even as he turned to gaze over at her and gestured for her to come forth.

It was then that her eyes set upon the wall in front of him. She was certain there hadn’t been a door there before.

She blinked a few times, convincing herself that it must be her eyes that were tricking her. Tom released a breath that could pass as a laugh as he approached, grabbing her hand once more. “I don’t think anyone else in the castle knows about this room,” he murmured as he led her towards the door, and she watched as his opposite hand cradled the knob and twisted.

“This…” Tom said as she gazed around the room full of just… things. Things everywhere. Every type of thing imaginable. “…is the Room of Requirement.”

She raised an eyebrow over to him, glancing back into the room of things. “The Room of Requirement?” She murmured, admittedly skeptical. “And you think we’re the only ones in the castle who knows about it?”

“I’m certain,” he reassured, palm against the small of her back, his opposite closing the door behind them. “Way I see it, the other imbeciles at this school are much too ignorant to find this place.” She turned to glance at the door, eyebrows knit together. “But why wasn’t the door there before? What…” she shook her head. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

Tom approached and grabbed either of her shoulders, letting his palms soothe down the length of her arms all the way down to her wrists, and back up. She relaxed in his touch’s wake, but still remained curious, skeptical, even. “This place only shows up when you’re in need of it,” he murmured, leaning in until his lips were against the shell of her ear, his breath icy hot, frosting over her bones and making her body shudder. “Can you guess why I invited you here tonight?”

He leaned away to catch her eyes, and she felt all tension in her bones melt away when their gazes met. She pressed her lips together and drew near again, their faces so close their breaths were becoming one in the same. “I think I may have an idea…” she whispered, her glance fleeting between his irises and his lips.

And Tom couldn’t resist any longer.

His lips surged into hers, like two violent waves in the sea in the midst of a storm. His hands were everywhere from her waist, to her hips, to her thighs, back up her chest all the way to the sides of her neck, creeping up until they cradled her face. She whimpered against his lips when he pressed himself closer to her, feeling her center throb and ache for more of his touch.

“Tom,” she whispered when he pulled away for air, his fingers tangled in her hair as he backed her into the wall, his forehead falling against hers. Tom’s lips were back on hers in an instant, and she moaned when he pulled away, his thumbs swiping over her closed eyelids to coax her into opening them. And when she did, his dark eyes were staring right back, and she was quick to get lost, falling deeper and deeper into his void.

“You’ve no idea how much I think about you like this,” he whispered, “I can never stop thinking about you.”

And he kissed her again, this time with much more fervor, for Tom could never fully relate to her in words how he felt. But he could kiss her, and he could kiss her good. And when he kissed her like this, she was like water in his hands, free to be warped and manipulated in whichever way he pleased.

Tom loved this about her.

He loved how in control he felt when he had her like this, how he knew that she was totally and completely his. She could lose herself in him, and he knew it.

It drove him absolutely insane.

Her chest heaved when she panted as his kisses ventured down her jaw and to her throat, sucking dark marks into her skin. Her fingers clawed at the fabric of his robes when she gripped either of his shoulders, her knees wobbling and threatening to give out beneath her when his fingers curled around the hem of her skirt beneath her robes.

“I don’t…” she began, breathless as Tom’s kisses trailed back up to her face, finding her lips again. “…I don’t suppose the Room of Requirement believes we require a bed?” She managed to ask between toe-curling kisses, and Tom’s smile grew like a crescent against her lips. He gazed down at her, his eyelids hooded over his irises.

“I think we’ve managed quite well without beds, don’t you?”

She hadn’t much time to laugh before his lips were back on hers, his fingers working open her robes, letting them slide down her arms until they pooled in a black heap on the floor. Her shirt was the next to go, his kisses trailing down to the tops of her breasts as he worked the clasp of her bra, letting it, too, slip from her shoulders. Her hands were in his hair as he sucked marks onto either of her mounds of flesh, his fingers curled around the hem of her skirt, tugging it down her thighs until it dropped to her ankles, and she was quick to kick it away altogether.

One of his palms soothed down her waist, around the curve of her hip until it could snake its way between her thighs and she gasped when his fingers traced a line up and down her slit, her slick making his skin glisten. Her eyelids peeled open just in time to catch Tom’s dark, hooded stare, his pink lips pressed together as the tip of his forefinger prod against her pearl, her body quaking in his wake.

“What do you want?” He asked lowly, the tip of his nose touching the top of hers as he looked down at her. “Enlighten me.” She whimpered when he circled around her clit, her back arching off the wall, her chest heaving into his. “Tom,” she whined. “Stop being such a tease.”

He kissed his way back to her ear, his smirk evident against her skin. “Haven’t I told you I expect an answer when I ask you something?” He whispered coolly, ice frosting her skin at his words. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten? I thought you were better than that.”

She mewled when he applied just a little more pressure on her nub, her fingernails etched so deep in the fabric of his robes, she was sure to have torn through. “M’… m’sorry I… I just want you,” she managed to breathe out, his breath like fire as it fanned over the side of her neck. “I… I want you to… please,” she whimpered when he teased her entrance. “Just want you to fuck me.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, flattening his middle and forefinger down against her slit, rubbing up and down once again. Her chest heaved as she panted, tears falling down her cheeks like a river stream. Tom gazed at her now and could no longer help how his heart burned when he saw her like this, how it stuttered in his chest with the overwhelming feeling of desire.

It was then that Tom Riddle decided that he was going to marry this girl.

“That’s what you want?” He asked in a low murmur, removing his fingers from her sex, and she flushed when she caught a glimpse of how they glistened, even in the dimness of the room of things. She nodded, watching as he unfastened his robes, slipping the noir fabric down his shoulders, letting it join the sea of clothes on the floor. She watched his fingers as they unbuttoned every single button on his shirt, the way his veins showed through his flesh, and watched as he tugged the material off his torso.

There he was again. Tom Riddle was a beauty unlike any other, beautiful in his own, entrancing way. Tom was like wine, and the more she drank him in, the harder she found it harder to resist. She couldn’t, she realized, it was impossible to resist him when she knew he was utterly and completely hers. As she watched him tug his trousers down his legs, she felt her heart flutter in her chest.

She still couldn’t believe she could call him hers.

Tom’s hands were on her again and oh, she could feel his cock as it pressed against the inside of her thigh, and one of his hands slithered down to wrap around the back of it, lifting it up so he could have access. His other rested on her hip, his dark gaze surging back into hers, drawing her in, keeping her and holding her there. His lips were but a mere inch away from hers, and she fought the urge to kiss him again. Instead, she inhaled a shaky breath, waiting for him, letting him make his move.

She hissed when she felt the tip of his cock prod against her entrance and she felt herself throb, yearning for more of him. The hand that had been resting on her hip ascended to cradle the side of her face, the pad of his thumb soothing just underneath her eye. Her bottom lip trembled, the moment so tender she thought she’d melt to the floor and join the heap of clothes beneath their feet.

“I love you,” Tom said at last, and she blinked, feeling crystals of tears weighing heavy on her lashes. She was so lost in his irises now, venturing further into his ravines of darkness, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. All she saw was him, all she felt was him, her heart burned with him.

And he burned for her too.

Tom Riddle loved her.

One of her hands weaved through the dark hair on the back of his head, feeling his tendrils between her fingers, her breath shaky as she inhaled again. Her other hand rested on the side of his neck, his skin so warm, melting like wax into hers.

“Oh, Tom,” she sighed, her voice wet like her tears. She tugged him forward until his forehead was on hers, each breath she took one of his own. “I love you too.”

And she gasped when he pushed himself inside of her wet, throbbing heat, hissing between the crevices of his teeth at how good she felt. He’d taken her so many times since Christmas Eve in the Lestrange Manor, so many times that he’d honestly lost count. But still, he could never get enough of her or this feeling. He was drunk on it, intoxicated by her. He could no longer bring himself to fear it any longer, for this burning for her only made him feel stronger.

She threw her head back against the wall as Tom picked up his pace, his thrusts steady and even but hard and heavy all the same. She gripped his hair tight, so tight she felt a small worry in the back of her mind that she was hurting him. But Tom didn’t care. In fact, he thrived off of the bittersweet pain of her fingers tugging at his scalp and her nails etching crescent moons into the flesh of his shoulders. It only made him burn more, made him want her even more.

He was so deep now, his tip was hitting the spongy part so far inside of her with every single stroke of his hips, and she cried, her sobs permeating the Room of Requirement. Tom even resisted the urge to moan himself, considering no one would be walking in on them and she just felt so good. He gripped her thigh tighter as he lifted it up just a little higher to get a better angle, and her back arched off of the wall yet again, her erect nipples grazing his chest.

“Tom!” She shrieked at a particularly hard thrust, her fingers so deep in his skin now she was certain he’d bleed. She felt her walls clench around him and through pursed lips, Tom groaned, his eyelids fluttering closed as he relished this feeling of feeling so infinite. “I think I’m… oh, Tom… I think I’m close…”

Tom’s eyelids peeled open and with his hand not supporting her thigh, he gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her gaze back into his. “Is that right, darling?” He whispered, and she nodded, her teeth sunk into the pillowy flesh of her bottom lip. “Does it feel good?” He asked and she nodded, groaning at another especially hard thrust. “Oh, yes,” she moaned, cradling the back of his head closer to hers, their foreheads pressed up against one another again.

Tom felt his hips stutter and his member pulse when she clenched around him again, her heat so tight and warm he knew he was bound to break any moment now. His eyes remained fixated on hers, and every time she closed her lids or looked away, he was there to fix her gaze back onto his.

“I want you to look me in the eyes…” he began, thrusting harder and harder and harder, “…while you tell me how good I make you feel. Tell me how good you feel while you come.”

While her vision blurred with tears, she could still make out his dark eyes through watercolors, still feel the intensity of his stare without really even seeing it. Tom was so deep now, his cock coaxing her orgasm out of her, encouraging her to let go. She could feel the bundle of tension knot at the pit of her stomach, pulsing and begging to be unraveled.

She was like a glass wall shattering when she came.

She cried and gripped Tom tighter as she released, telling him how good he felt through incoherent blubbers, not sure if she was even really making any sense. “T… Tom!” She shrieked as her body shuddered and quaked against his, his hands the only things keeping her grounded. “You feel… so… it feels… can’t… I want… Tom!” She sobbed, his chest glistening with her tears as they dropped like rain on his skin.

Tom was rocking harder into her now, chasing his own high as he fucked her through hers, his eyes never once leaving her bleary ones. His head rolled against hers and his nose brushed against her own, but never once did he dare tear his gaze away from hers. There was something so intimate about staring so deep into his lover’s eyes in their most vulnerable moments, so mesmerizing about losing one’s self in another’s irises. He felt so powerful when he looked at her, so in control and in his element.

Even when he came, Tom still felt the strongest he’d ever been.

Tom still remained inside of her even as they both came down from the force of their highs, their hearts beating to the same drum against one another. Tom held her close to his chest, craving the warmth her body produced, yearning for the touch of her skin. She hummed at the feeling of his fingertips absentmindedly tracing shapes into the small of her back, her lips curved into a smile as she lifted her head from his shoulder to peer up at him.

For a moment, neither said anything, only looked at one another. But their gazes held every unspoken word, their gazes held understanding, their gazes held love.

Tom never anticipated falling in love. He never felt it was a priority or a necessity, never thought it was in the cards for him anyways. He didn’t think it was necessary on his road to power, in fact, he used to think love was but a mere obstacle, something to blind him, to throw him in for a loop.

But love like this was none of those things.

As a child, Tom could never imagine that love could be so powerful. But when he found her that Christmas Eve and held her and had her, he felt infinite. He felt like the most powerful being in the universe, like she was the missing piece of his puzzle. And he had found her.

Tom couldn’t give a damn what Tiernan Lestrange or Clarence Avery or Liam Mulciber or the others would think of her. He couldn’t even care about her muggle-born status, he couldn’t care about any of those things. There wasn’t much that Tom cared about other than himself in this world, but he cared about her.

And that was all he needed. Himself and the girl in his arms.

It was not even a month later that they graduated Hogwarts, and Tom wasn’t sure how to feel. For seven years, Tom had known he belonged somewhere, and for seven years, he had a home. Hogwarts was in fact the only home he’d ever had.

But now that he was older, Hogwarts would no longer be his home. He resented that.

He knew he would stop at nothing to get the job he so desperately desired, the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and he knew Professor Dippet would be a fool to turn down the best Defense Against the Dark Arts student Hogwarts had ever seen in all his years. But where would he go if the Headmaster was foolish enough to turn him down? He couldn’t stay at the orphanage, and he hadn’t any money to buy himself a home.

Although Tiernan and the others all celebrated and laughed all around him, Tom couldn’t bring himself to do either of those things. Instead, he searched through the sea of bow graduated Hogwarts students, past the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors until his eyes set upon the particular Hufflepuff he always found solace in.

And found that she was already staring back.

She smiled when their eyes met, and although Clara Wingrave’s arm was wrapped around hers, tugging her back to celebrate with the other Hufflepuffs, she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes away from the former Head Boy across the room.

Because she, too, could only find solace in him now.

She had no home, the Lestrange Manor was never a home to her, and now that she had graduated from Hogwarts, she hadn’t anywhere else to go. Hogwarts was her only home, the only place she knew she truly belonged. Where would she go now?

But when she found Tom Riddle all the way across the Great Hall, when she met his dark and intense stare, she knew she still had a home somewhere. Her home was Tom Riddle.

And just like the first day she saw him, sitting on the stool at the front of the Great Hall, waiting to be sorted into his House, she knew that wherever Tom Riddle was, was where she wanted to be.

“My father’s already got a job lined up for me at the Ministry,” Clarence Avery was saying to Tom and the rest of their friend group as they packed their things in the Slytherin dorm. Tom had very few belongings, far less than the others, but he still took his time packing them. It was still bittersweet, leaving Hogwarts. “Mine too,” Dolohov was saying as he heaved his briefcase off his bed, sighing down at the mattress that had been his all year. “You know, I have to say, I’ll miss getting a good night’s sleep on a Hogwarts bed.”

The others talked and talked but Tom Riddle was listening to none of it. His mind was still on the future, and on his lover. He had meant it, all the way back in the Room of Requirement when he thought he wanted to marry her. He wanted to marry her. He would marry her.

Perhaps they could build a home of their own together once he became the Dark Arts professor and she, whatever job she desired. Perhaps she’d support his dream to become the most powerful wizard of all, maybe they could even have their own little family, perhaps a son and a daughter to continue Salazar Slytherin’s bloodline.

The future remained unknown, but only one thing was for certain. Tom Riddle was going to whisk that girl away, away from the Lestranges and give her the life she deserved. Perhaps there would be a happy ending for them after all.

“What about you, my Lord?” Tiernan Lestrange asked as he gripped the handle of his briefcase. Tom turned to look at the group of boys now turned men behind him, realizing he was the only one unfinished with their packing. Calmly, he gathered the rest of his things and placed them nearly in his briefcase, letting the locks snap shut before gripping the handle and heaving it off the bed.

Tom turned to face them, his face expressionless, void of any emotion, the face they had all grown accustomed to. “I’m going to apply for the Defense Against the Dark Arts job,” he replied, sauntering past them and exiting the dorm room for the last time, the rest scurrying to follow close behind. “Of course,” Liam Mulciber hummed. “Dippet would be foolish to turn you down, my Lord.”

“Yeah. You are the best student Hogwarts has had in years, perhaps ever,” Rosier agreed, and Tom said nothing more as they made their way out of the Slytherin common room, out of the Dungeons, up the Grand Staircase and out of the castle.

Tom searched through the crowd for his lover as they made their way to Hogsmeade Station, coming to no avail. Tom tried to not show his disappointment as he waited along with the rest of Hogwarts’ students for the train to arrive, Lestrange and the others laughing and pushing each other around.

“So, what’s the mudblood going to do now that she can’t pretend to be one of us at Hogwarts?” Tom could hear Nott ask, and he turned his head immediately as Lestrange snickered, shrugging his shoulders. “Dunno. Personally, I hope mother and father throw her out on the street,” Lestrange sniggered. “Now, that’d be very full circle. Wasn’t wanted then by filthy muggles, isn’t wanted now.”

Tom never tried to show his anger unless it be in private, and Lestrange and the others had grown used to seeing their Lord rage in private, although they still trembled at the idea of it. But it was unlike him to show it around others, in fact, in all his time at Hogwarts, Tom never once showed emotion to this extent around anyone else.

So when he towered over Lestrange and grabbed the collar of his shirt, the boys jumped back, the hair on the back of their necks sticking straight up. Tiernan Lestrange’s eyes were practically bulging out of their sockets as heads turned their way, students gasping at this strange display of anger from Hogwarts’ former Head Boy.

“I do not want to hear you speak of her that way ever again,” Tom warned lowly. “Or it’ll be your head. Is that understood?”

Tiernan Lestrange was trembling in Tom’s grasp, and all he wanted to do was shrivel up into a ball and wither away beneath his Lord’s dark, intense stare. His lips fell open with the intent of speaking but nothing could come out, so instead he nodded excessively, his bottom lip trembling. Tom held his collar for a few moments longer before shoving the boy away, turning back to face the tracks as the train approached, picking his briefcase up from the ground.

“Good,” he muttered as the train doors opened, and he stepped inside, the others following close behind, Tiernan Lestrange hanging back, trying to catch his breath.

She could see her adopted brother from across the station, her eyes wide as Tom stepped on the train, leaving Tiernan to catch his breath alone. She’d never seen Tom do such a thing before, and although she certainly was not mad that her “brother” had been put in his place, she couldn’t help but wonder what it was that had provoked her lover.

Her mind was thrown off its course as she heard her name being called, and she turned to face Clara Wingrave as she elbowed her. “Come on!” Clara tugged at the sleeve of her friend’s dress. “Don’t want to miss the train now, do we?”

She smiled weakly at Clara. She would, in fact, not mind if the train forgot her.

She complied though, grabbing her suitcase and heaving it up the steps into the train, handing it to the conductor before following Clara down the walkway and into one of the compartments.

She sighed as she settled herself down into her seat, gazing out the window at Hogsmeade Station. She hoped this would not be the last she’d see of Hogwarts or Hogsmeade.

Her future was uncertain, she had no idea what the Lestranges would do with her when she got back. Perhaps they’d make her a maid, or perhaps they’d kick her out of the manor altogether.

She wasn’t sure which she preferred more.

Her mind drifted to Tom, what his plans were for after Hogwarts. She knew he desired the Defense Against the Dark Arts job, and there was no doubt in her mind that he’d get it. But what about her? What could she, a muggle-born with no money, do? She had nowhere to go, no home to go back to…

…all she knew was that she couldn’t go back to living like a pile of rubbish with the Lestranges.

She found herself longing to know what Tom was thinking, if the future he had planned for himself had her in it. She hoped it did, because she wanted him. She wanted him to be her future.

“Hey, did you hear what I said?”

She blinked up at Clara, her expression softening in apology as she shook her head. Clara pressed her lips together, brushing her curly hair back behind her ears before folding her arms over her chest, leaning back in her seat. “Perhaps you should get some sleep,” she said. “It seems you need it.”

She knew her friend was right, but still, she frowned in apology as she leaned her head against the wall of the train, her eyelids feeling heavy over her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” she said and Clara shook her head, a soft smile on her lips. “No need. I’ll wake you up when we arrive at King’s Cross.”

When they arrived at King’s Cross station, Tom was one of the first to leave the train. He turned back towards the train as he watched the students leaving all of the exits, uncaring when his group joined him at his side as he searched for the girl. He couldn’t even bring himself to care when Mr and Mrs Lestrange approached, greeting Tiernan and the others before greeting Tom.

“Tom, my boy!” Mr Lestrange bellowed as he clasped a hand around Tom’s shoulder, giving him a firm shake. “How nice it is to see you!” Tom turned to give the Lestranges a small friendly smile and nod, turning back towards the train. “It’s a pleasure to see you too, sir,” he said, distracted.

“You know, you’re welcome to stay with us over the summer,” Mrs Lestrange said, wrapping an arm around Tom’s shoulders, giving him a squeeze. “I’m sure my husband can arrange a job for you at the Ministry, if you’d like.”

Tom still searched the exits, longing for even a glimpse of his lover. His heart was pounding, all he wanted right now was her.

“Certainly!” Mr Lestrange exclaimed. “Way I see it, the Ministry would be lucky to have someone like you on board.”

Tom was suffocating. Where was she?

“Tom?” Mrs Lestrange asked, circling around to stand before him, cupping either of his cheeks. Mr Lestrange joined her at her side, eyeing him up and down in concern. “Are you alright, son?” He asked. “You seem a bit ill.”

What Tom wanted to say was on the tip of this tongue, and he could no longer hold it all back, letting the words slip out of him like vomit.

“Can I marry your daughter?”

To say the Lestranges were surprised would be the understatement of the century. Mrs Lestrange gasped and removed her hands from his face, grasping the scarf around her neck instead. He could see Tiernan and the others out of the corner of his eye as they gaped at their Lord, but were unable to protest or speak against him.

Not after what he did to Lestrange back at Hogsmeade Station.

“What? I…” Mrs Lestrange was struggling to find words, to even form a coherent thought. “I’m sure that there are… other more suitable girls other than my… my…”

It was then that Tom saw her, his lover, step out of the train in a simple teal dress, cinched at the waist by a brown ribbon. Tom’s expression softened at the sight of her, and her eyes found his, her heart pounding when she noticed her adopted mother and father standing beside him, incredulous looks upon their faces. Tiernan and the rest of his friends were there too, sharing uncertain gazes with one another.

Despite all this, Tom reached out for her, and she gazed at him, hesitant. They had kept their relationship a secret thus far, and were they really about to expose themselves in front of the Lestranges?

But Tom gazed deeper into her eyes, and for the first time, she felt like he was pleading with her, pleading with her to take his hand. So she did.

Her shaking hand slipped into his and he clasped his fingers around hers, tight and warm. He helped her down the rest of the steps of the train, guiding her into his side as he stared up at the Lestranges, the Mother and the Father’s faces lips agape.

She didn’t dare look at them any longer.

“I want to marry her,” Tom said again, and she tensed at his side, feeling her heart stop for a moment. This was why the Lestranges look as though they’d been to Azkaban and back? She glimpsed up at Tom and when he looked down at her, she knew he seemed the most sincere he’d ever been.

He wanted to marry her. He wanted her to be a part of his future.

She felt like she’d burst into tears any moment now. Her bottom lip quivered the longer she looked at him and through her watery gaze, her lips curved into a smile. Tom let his gaze linger on hers for a moment longer before turning back to Mr and Mrs Lestrange.

“Son…” Mr Lestrange began, staring uncertainly between Tom and his adopted daughter. “…I’m afraid she hasn’t been entirely honest with you. She’s… you see… she’s a mu—“

“I understand perfectly well who she is,” Tom interrupted, his voice cold, his stare blank but intense. Mr Lestrange blinked, for once at a loss for words. “And I do not care what you think of her.”

Mrs Lestrange scoffed, a hand over her chest. “Tom, do you not see? She’s a mudblood, she’s filthy!” She exclaimed, gesturing towards the girl. “I’m afraid I cannot let you ruin your bloodline for this… for this…”

“Don’t you dare speak about her that way,” Tom warned in a low voice, and behind him, Tiernan Lestrange trembled, very well remembering the way his Lord spoke to him back at Hogsmeade Station. “I think I can determine who is filthy and who is not very well.”

Mr Lestrange’s glare hardened as he took a step forward in front of his wife, staring at Tom. “Do not dare speak to my wife like that,” he warned, pointing an accusatory finger in his face. “This is the mudblood’s doing, isn’t it?” He asked, his finger now pointing at her. She gripped Tom’s arm tighter, and Tom stood up straighter, clear that he wasn’t backing down. “This… this behavior of yours… it’s because of her, isn’t it? Because that’s all mudbloods are good for, ruining perfectly good—“

“I would watch your tongue if I were you, Mr Lestrange,” Tom warned, his voice low and menacing. She swore that even the Father shuddered where he stood at Tom’s tone. “You don’t know what kind of people may be listening. You don’t know what some people are capable of.”

Mr Lestrange blinked as Tom gazed down at the girl on his arm, feeling his heart burn brighter than it ever had before. “I’m going to marry her,” Tom announced again, no longer a question, no longer asking. She could feel tears stream down her cheeks.

She was leaving. She would never have to even step foot inside the Lestrange Manor again. Tom Riddle was her ticket to a better life, and she knew it.

Tom turned to gaze at Mr and Mrs Lestrange again, a small knowing smile creeping onto his lips that made them tremble.

“And you’d do well to remember this day when you are bowing down at my feet, begging me for my mercy.”

a/n; IM SO SORRY I TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE THIS i was having a bit of writers block but i got coffee this morning and it made me want to write lol hope you all enjoy this one! i don’t like it as much as part one but hey, i finished it at least lol

| 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 |

@darkmoviesquotespizza @upsidedownspidey @michelle-26 @lyis 🥹🫶

#tom riddle #tom riddle x you #tom riddle smut #tom riddle x reader #tom riddle fic #wizarding world #harry potter fic #harry potter fandom #harry potter imagine #harry potter

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callsign-dexter · 5 months ago

Text

First Time Fears 18+

Request: Could you do a request for Will Halstead where the reader is nervous about sleeping with him since she's still a virgin if that's okay with you

Pairings: Will Halstead x Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut

Masterlist

A/N: thank you @bellarkeselection for requesting it. I love Will and wish he got more love.

A/N 2: @talesofreading and @imagine-all-the-fandoms prepare yourself it's a steamy one.

It's funny how fear can stop you from doing things that you really want. For example, you want to sleep with your boyfriend, Will Halstead, but the fact that you are a virgin and scared to get too intimate with him has stopped you. Stopped you every time. You're so self-conscious about it that whenever it gets brought up or you get to that point you close up and run away. You hated that you got this way. Will is a lovely boyfriend. He takes care of you when you're sick or just had a bad day. He cooks most of the time, you cook too but it’s not as good as his even if he goes on a health kick. It didn’t help that you worked with his brother and he kept asking how your relationship was with Will, it was lovely you had nothing to worry about but it tends to freeze when it comes to intimacy. You met Will when you and Jay Halstead, Will’s brother, had gone to the hospital to question a witness that had been brought in after an attack. When you both looked at each other you both knew it was love at first sight, from that day on you both exchanged numbers and began talking and about 4 months of talking and him taking you on dates he asked you to be his girlfriend and you said yes.

Currently you were out with your friends that you had come to grow and love when you moved to Chicago 8 years ago. You 3 had been chatting nonstop about everything and then it came to the topic of sex. Audrey was married to an accountant, Samantha was engaged to a teacher, and Jenna had a mechanic boyfriend and of course there was you who had a doctor boyfriend, everyone was jealous of you since you had a doctor as a boyfriend. “Oh my gosh Josh and I had the best sex last night.” Audrey said.

“Oh, do tell.” Samantha said, propping her elbows up and sipping her coffee.

“He tried this new thing with his tongue and oh my gosh it had me seeing stars.” Audrey said as the others leaned forward to listen but you sat back and became quiet.

“Did you do anything to return the favor?” Jenna asked

“Oh, you know it.” Audrey said and now you were hoping for a phone call to be called into work not wanting to spend another second talking about sex life. You wanted to have sex with Will but you were afraid, afraid that something would go wrong and that it would hurt. You knew it would hurt some but after reading people’s experience online and some said that they didn't recover for a month you got scared and clammed up. “So, what about you and Will?” Audrey asked and you were so out of it that you didn’t even hear your name.

“Huh?” You asked

“I asked how your and Will’s sex life was.” She said and everyone was now looking at you and suddenly you became self-conscious.

“We haven’t had any sex yet.” You said and they all gasped.

“Are you two, ok? You’ve been together for 7 months?” Samantha asked

“It’ll be 8 months this Wednesday. We’re good, everything is great. We’ve both been so busy. Me working a huge case and him having multiple night shifts we just haven’t found the time.” You said even though most of it was a lie but also the truth. You weren’t going to tell them you’re a virgin nobody knew except your doctor. There is nothing wrong with wanting to wait or being a virgin but it doesn't help your self-consciousness any. Before they could even answer your phone was buzzing and you grabbed it and it was Jay telling you that you needed to come in. “I’m sorry to cut this short but I have to go to work.” You said and everyone protested. “Hey, someone has to keep this city safe.” You said chuckling.

“Fine, you get a pass. Now go and keep our asses safe.” Jenna said and you chuckled and got up and placed some money down for your share.

“I’ll text you all later. Bye!” You said as you put on your coat because of course it was snowing.

“You better or I’m hunting you down.” Samantha said and everyone chuckled but agreed.

“I will.” You said

“Good now shoo.” She said and you smiled and hugged them and then you were out the door. You pulled out your phone and called Jay.

“You saved my ass.” You said when he answered and he chuckled.

“You’re welcome. You on your way?” He asked as you got to your car.

“Yup, just got into my car.” You said as you opened your door and got in and shut it. You got your keys and turned the car on and was met with the heat.

“Good. Be safe getting here. Roads are slick.” He said and you smiled.

“I will be. See you in a second.” You said

“See you.” He said and then you both hung up the phone.

You pulled out of the parking lot and headed off towards the precinct. You slid a few times but nothing to cause you to lose absolute control of your vehicle. When you arrived in the parking lot you sighed and stayed there for a minute and then your phone was ringing and you were quick to find it and look at the name and you smiled when you saw that Will was calling you.

“Hey, Babe.” You said smiling.

“Hey, Baby. Are you still out with your friends?” He asked and you could hear rustling around in the background and you wondered what he was doing.

“No, Jay called and said I needed to come into work. What are you doing?” You asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

“I am getting stuff to make for dinner tonight. I was calling to see if you needed or wanted anything specific. Are you going to be home tonight?” He asked

“I’m hoping so. As for anything I need, I can’t think of anything so you’re good there.” You said

“Sounds good. Be safe please. I don’t want you getting hurt anytime soon.” He said and you chuckled.

“Noted, Dr. Halstead.” You said knowing it drove him crazy when you called him that sometimes.

“Behave yourself.” He said and you chuckled.

“I love you. See you at home.” You said

“I love you too.” He said and then you both were hanging up.

You sighed but now you were in a better mood. You got out of your car and headed up to the steps of the precinct. An officer was quick to open it for you “Thank you.” You said to him and he smiled.

“No problem, Detective Y/L/N.” He said and then you both were quickly parting ways. You looked up and saw Trudy standing at her desk.

“Let me guess you got called in with the rest of them.” She said and you nodded.

“Looks to be that way.” You said “It was supposed to be my day off but crime never sleeps it seems.” You said chuckling and she chuckled too.

“Never. I’ll buzz you up.” She said and you smiled and nodded and walked to the gate as it made a buzzing noise and you were able to turn the knob and pull it open.

“I can’t wait for them to put a keypad in.” You said

“Me and you both.” She said as the door closed behind you and you ascended up the stair where you were met face to face with Jay.

“Took your sweet ass time.” He said and you rolled your eyes.

“Sorry, I was talking with your brother.” You said and he chuckled.

“So, how was the brunch with your friends?” He asked as you stepped onto the floor of the bullpen.

“They started talking about their sex life. So, you really did save my ass.” You said and he chuckled.

“Sooo, how is it?” He asked, smirking and you hit his arm.

“That is none of your business.” You said glaring at him.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. I don’t want to know how my brother is in bed.” He said and walked away. If he only knew that you and Will haven’t had sex because of your own silly, to you, fear he would’ve laughed in your face. You went to your desk and took off your coat. You had your gun and badge on your hip, you put them there when you got ready to come into the precinct. You were just hoping whatever you needed to be called in for went by quickly so that you could get back to you loving boyfriend and maybe someday your fiancée. As you took a seat and started your computer and booted it up you looked up at Jay at his desk.

“So, what are we doing here?” You asked. Everyone had been working on a drug bust but activity seemed to have died down so it was put on hold.

“The huge drug bust we were working on has new activity like major activity. We also got new information about it so it’s all hands-on deck again.” He said while looking at you.

“Is there any chance that we are going home tonight?” You asked

“I’m hoping so.” He replied and then Hank Voight walked in and everybody looked up at him.

“Alright everyone gather around!” He said and everyone did. “We just got word that a drop will be happening in 30 minutes. We need to get there before it happens. Jay and Y/N I want you to take the front, Adam and Kim, I want you to take the side, Antonio and Kevin take the other side. Alvin and I will take up the rear.” He said and everyone nodded.

“Yes sir.” Everyone said in unison and headed out. As you got into the truck with Jay and put on your vest quickly as did, he, he started to drive to the location. The truck was filled with small talk until he pulled up to the spot but stayed out of view.

“You know what sounds nice right now?” You asked

“What?” He asked

“My nice warm bed.” You said and he chuckled.

“Cuddled up with my brother.” He asked and you hit him on his arm. “Am I wrong?” He asked, chuckling and you waited a beat.

“No. You're not wrong.” You said and he chuckled “Hey, I think it's about to go down.” You said and pointed to the scene in front of you. “Call it in. I'm going ahead.” You said as you got out and slowly and quietly closed the door. Jay was quick to call it in and then he was following you to your crouched position.

“On my command.” Hank said through the radio.

You waited and waited until it finally went down and he gave the command everyone moved in. “Chicago PD!” Was yelled throughout the group and the criminals put their hands up and everyone was arrested. 20 people in total were arrested and several pounds of drugs were confiscated. Overall, it was a great bust. Everyone high-fived each other. You were just glad no shots were fired and nobody got hurt. Soon everyone was heading back to the precinct and doing paperwork and finally around 8:00 PM you were heading home.

“Finally! I’m escaping while I can.” You said as you were putting on your coat and everyone chuckled.

“Go. Get. Before you’re stuck here. Tell Will I said hi.” Jay said and you smiled.

“I will.” You said and started to walk out of the bullpen and down the stairs you opened the gate and smiled at Trudy. “See you later.” You said and she actually smiled.

“See you later.” She said and then you were out the door and heading to your car as you were doing so you pulled out your phone and called Will.

“Hello, Gorgeous.” His voice came through.

“Hello, Handsome.” You said and he chuckled “I’ll be happy to report that we were successful on the drug bust and I’m heading home.” You said while getting into your car after you unlocked it.

“Good. I can’t wait to see you. I’ll get dinner started.” He said

“Awww, Will. You don’t have to do that. I’m fine with leftovers.” You said

“Not acceptable. My girl needs a meal for a job well done.” He said

“There is no changing your mind is there?” You asked

“Nope. Now get home safely.” He said and you chuckled.

“I will. I love you.” You said

“I love you too. See you soon.” He said

“Very soon.” You said and then you were hanging up the phone and driving out of the precinct and onto the main road and to your shared home. Maybe tonight you’ll get over your fear and finally have sex with your amazing boyfriend.

20 minutes later and you were pulling up to your shared apartment and parking beside his car. You shut the engine off and got out locking it. Bitter cold slapped you in the face and you quickly walked into the building and the elevator and pressed the button. It opened and you got in and pressed the button for your floor. The doors shut and it quickly took you to your floor which luckily was the 2nd floor. You got out and walked to your door and unlocked it and the smell of your favorite meal hit you. “Welcome home.” Will said as he met you at the door and kissed you and helped you out of your coat.

“It smells delicious in here.” You said and he smiled and he chuckled.

“Only the best for my girl.” He said and kissed you until you were breathless until he pulled away when the oven beeped.

“Oh, your brother said hi.” You said and he chuckled and shook his head.

“Go and change. I’ll have dinner on the table by the time you are out.” He said and you smiled at him. He was truly too good to you.

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” You asked before taking off to your bedroom.

“I ask that to myself about you. I’m just glad you stumbled into my ER with a concussion and a gunshot wound with my brother right behind you.” He said and you smiled.

“Though I’m not happy how that situation came to be, I’m glad it led me to you.” You said and then you were heading to get changed and put your gun and badge in the safe and once you were changed and walking out, he had food and drinks on the table. He pulled the chair out for you and when you set down, he pushed you in and then he sat down in his chair. You took a bite and practically moaned and closed your eyes so you didn’t see Will having to adjust his seating or look at you with the most love someone could have for their partner. “This is delicious.” You said after swallowing and opening your eyes smiling.

“I’m glad you love it.” He said smiling and he took a bite of his. The rest of dinner was eaten in silence but he still had a problem especially with all the moaning you were making. Finally, dinner was done and you leaned back in your chair. You suddenly got up and walked over to him and he turned and you sat on his lap and brought him for the sweetest kiss ever and he kissed back. You could feel his boner and you deepened the kiss. You both kissed each other furiously until you both needed air and you looked each other in the eye as you both panted. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned your forehead on his.

“Let’s take this into the bedroom.” You said and smiled and gently got up with you in his arms and started to walk towards the bedroom. “I love you.” You said and he smiled.

“I love you too.” He replied as he gently laid you on the bed and got on top of you. He brought his lips to the side of your neck and you turned your head for him to get a better access. He kissed it slowly and passionately, occasionally nipping and then soothing it with his tongue, it made you moan and clutch onto the bedding.

“Mmmm Will.” You moaned out and he smirked against your neck. His hands went to the hem of your shirt and he momentarily looked up at you and you nodded giving him permission. He pulled your shirt up your body and over your head. He tossed it somewhere as you laid topless in your bra, you started to get nervous. Will started to kiss down your chest and down the valley of your breasts and down to your naval. He got to your jeans. “Stop.” You said but he must’ve not heard you “Will, please stop.” You said louder and pushed on his shoulders and he did and looked up at you sitting up slightly.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asked

“I can’t do this.” You said and he sighed.

“What is going on? This isn’t the first time you have done this.” He asked

“I’m…I’m a virgin.” You said quietly and embarrassed and you expected him to be disgusted and be done with you, you expected him to laugh but when you didn’t hear him leave or laugh you looked up at him.

“There is nothing wrong with that.” He said and you sighed.

“I know but it’s embarrassing.” You said and shook his head.

“There is nothing to be embarrassed about. We can stop if you want.” He said and you shook your head.

“No, I want to lose it. I want to lose it to you.” You said and he smiled.

“I would be honored being your first time. We can take this at your pace.” He said and you nodded as he started to stroke your sides lovingly and tenderly.

“Please be gentle.” You pleaded and smiled and leaned up to kiss your lips.

“I promise.” He said against your lips and you nodded and he leaned back and took off his shirt showing his ripped body and his amazing abs. You leaned up and touched them and felt them flex underneath your touch. “Like what you see?” He asked, smirking, this wasn’t the first time you’ve seen him shirtless but each time it took your breath away you never expected a doctor to be so ripped.

“Absolutely.” You said and he chuckled and then started to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. You watched him practically drooling and almost whined when he got off the bed but when you saw him pushing his pants and underwear down to release his leaking angry red cock you kept quiet. You’ve seen his cock before; you’ve given him plenty of blowjobs so seeing it was no surprise. He got back up on the bed and reached behind you as you lifted up so he could undo your bra and slide it off of you, when you were exposed to him you quickly tried to cover up but he stopped you.

“You have nothing to be shy about. It’s me.” He said and you nodded and he continued to unbutton your pants and undo the zipper and pulled them down along with your underwear and off of you. Now you were truly exposed to him and he was fully exposed to you. “You’re so beautiful.” He said and you blushed and turned away. “You still, ok?” He asked and you nodded “I need a verbal answer, Baby.” He said.

“I’m ok. Please don’t stop.” You said and he smiled and nodded and leaned down and kissed your lips and you kissed back. His hand traveled down your body until it got to where you needed him the most. His other hand was by your head stroking your hair. He touched your clit and you jumped.

“Shhh, I got you.” He said against your lips as he started to circle it, rubbing it, and pulling on it. You started to feel good and started to let out moans into his mouth. He then slid his hand through your folds and down to your entrance and he started to put a finger and you tensed up and he stopped when he felt it. “Hey, it is ok. I got you. We can stop if you want. Just say the word.” He said and you shook your head.

“No, no. Keep going.” You said and he nodded and watched your face as he slid his finger in further until he felt resistance and your breath caught in your throat. He stopped and you nodded and he slowly slid a finger into you and it felt weird and he stayed there for a minute until you nodded and he started to move it back and forth the pain went away and pleasure started to take over and you moaned. Just as you were about to cum, he pulled out gently. “Hey!” You said looking at him glaring and he chuckled.

“I wanna taste you. I want you to cum on my face.” He said as he slid down to come face to face with your slick folds. You were about to say something but he licked a broad stripe of up your folds and you moaned loudly. This was the first time he had ever gone down on you and you wonder why you never let him do it before. It was magical. Your hands went to his red curly hair and gripped it. He ate you out like you were his last meal. You would have closed your thighs around his head but his broad shoulders were keeping them open.

“Fuck, Will!” You moaned and that caused him to go faster and started to tongue fuck you and occasionally he would come up and give you clit attention biting, swirling, and sucking on it. You were close and you started to clench around nothing. “Fuck, I’m close! I’m close!” You moaned out and then he was speeding up his efforts until that knot in your stomach exploded and you were cumming on his face and he was lapping it all up like a dog would water on a hot day. Your grip on his hair tightened as he lapped up your juices through your high. When you did come down from your high and sat up making you let go of his hair. “Fuck, Will. That was so good.” You said and he smiled and you could see your slick covering his chin. “Why I haven’t let you do that until now is beyond me.” You said and he chuckled again.

“I will always make you feel good and make you cum. You don’t have to worry about that.” He said and he smiled.

“I know.” You said and then he leaned forward and kissed you. You could taste yourself on his tongue as he French kissed you. You had to admit you tasted sweet. You both broke the kiss when air was needed.

“Are you ready?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yes.” You said and he grabbed his angry hard thick cock and positioned it at your entrance. He ran his cock up and down your folds and then slowly pushed into your entrance and when you felt it hit that resistance you tensed and he stopped.

“We’re taking it at your pace.” He said

“I’m ok. Go on.” You said and he nodded and rocked forward until he pushed all the way in and you felt a snap and you tensed up. Once he bottomed out, he stayed there. He watched tears fall from your eyes and he was quick to wipe them away.

“Hey, shhhh. It’s ok. I got you. It’ll only hurt for a few minutes but I need to start moving, ok?” He asked and you nodded.

“Ok.” You said quietly sniffling. He nodded and started to rock his hips and pain shot through your body but as he started moving more the pain turned into pleasure and you started to moan.

“I got you.” He said once you got comfortable with it and you wanted him to go faster.

“Faster.” You said

“You sure?” He asked and you nodded.

“Positive.” You said and he obeyed and started to move faster he caged your head in with his arms and his mouth went to your neck.

“Fuck! Squeezing me so tight!” He moaned and your hands went to his shoulders, fingernails digging into them. “So perfect!” He moaned and you moaned with him and panted.

“So big. Making me so full.” You moaned as you threw your head back and to the side and your nails dug into him more and hissed but he loved it. “I love you so much.” You moaned again.

“I love you too.” He replied and then his lips were on your left nipple and that had you letting out a pornographic moan.

“Fuck me!” You moaned as he swirled and licked your nipple. He didn’t stop there as he nipped and tugged on it. Just that alone was bringing you close to the edge and quickly. “Fuck, don’t stop! I’m close!” You said and then he was pulling off your left nipple and giving the right nipple the same attention. During all of that your nails had started to go down his back leaving scratch marks but he wasn’t complaining. Once he felt that your right nipple had enough attention, he pulled off of it and looked at you’re in-awe expression.

“I can’t wait to marry you and fill you with children to watch these-” He started and cupped your breasts “swell.” He said and that had you moaning and closer to cumming. “Cum with me.” He said and released your breasts and brought one hand to your clit and started to rub it and play with it. You could tell he was close by him starting to stagger in his thrusts and you started to squeeze him “That’s right squeeze me. Cum with me. I’m close.” He said and you nodded.

“Me too. Let’s start making a baby now. I want to mother your kids and I don’t want to wait. I’m not on birth control.” You said and that all too familiar knot was back and it was about to snap. That seemed to spur him on because with one last tug on your clit you were cumming hard and then he was too. You both came with loud moans as he painted your walls white. “Fuck.” You said as you started to come down from your high.

“You’re amazing. I can’t wait to have kids with you and be your husband.” He said as he was coming down too. Once you both were blissed out, he slowly pulled out of you and you could feel his cum trickle out of you and you jumped from overstimulation when he pushed it back in. Once it was all back in, he laid on the other side of you. “Were you serious when you said you weren’t on birth control?” He asked and you nodded.

“I haven’t been on it for a while. It was screwing a lot of things up with me.” You said turning to look at him and he slipped an arm under you and pulled you into him.

“Thank you for letting me be your first.” He whispered

“I knew from the very moment we started dating I wanted you to take my virginity. I always got scared when we started to get very intimate and that I would be hurting for months from what I’ve read.” You said and he gave you a look. “I know I know. I shouldn’t haven’t looked it up. I couldn’t help myself.” You said and he chuckled.

“I would never ever hurt you. Ever. I love you too much to do so.” He said and you nodded and smiled.

“I know and I love you too. It was amazing by the way.” You said as you cuddled into him and he started to throw the covers over you.

“Only the best for my girl.” He said and kissed the top of your head. That’s how you spent the rest of the night. In his arms with nothing to worry about. The smell of his cologne and the scent of sex was lulling you to sleep. Your eyes finally slipped closed and breath evened out. Once Will felt your breath even out, he kissed your head one more time and he finally allowed himself to fall asleep. Both not knowing that one of his strong swimmers had made contact with an egg and life was being created inside you.

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@talesofreading

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drdemonprince · 1 month ago

Note

on the topic of your "bad gender" posts, the one you made mentioning sexual abuse (especially by mothers) is something nobody talks about at all and I'm glad you mentioned it.

My psychiatrist said I have CPTSD after I went through a huge breakdown after putting pieces together that I've been experiencing long-term sexual abuse from my mother (incredibly long story, but you get the idea). I still completely struggle with seeing what she's done and does as abuse, because it is totally buried in my mind that it is not abusive or strange because she is my mother. No matter how many times my friends and partner say it's wrong, or things like "imagine if it was your father", or my DBT therapist is straight up with me and tells me I was groomed by her, I just cannot get the idea that her being my mother specifically makes her behavior acceptable. (especially since I didn't come out as broadly transmasc until I was 18, and was thus seen as a complete extension of her and her body prior to).

I genuinely cannot comprehend where the line is between normal care and abuse because of what I've learned (from her or otherwise) maternal care looks like "compared to" paternal. And I just haven't found anything that's been able to really help me grasp what I've experienced because I just cannot understand why, or what I can do. The only thing I've found with others describing my specific experience is the MDSA subreddit, which is usually just extremely triggering for me to browse (obviously the content, but also the daughter framing and just the everything about it) so I don't go there, but it has shown me that many of us have lived very similar experiences, we just rarely recognized it as abnormal because it was our mother. Perceiving men as the inherently "bad gender" especially in terms of sexual abuse just makes me see red, and is a lot of why this can keep going on unnoticed. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, and I'm sorry to dump this here. It's hard to discuss the nuance of it without being kinda specific. I just saw you mention it and I rarely see the topic brought up, so I guess I just wanted to say thank you for doing so

Thank you so much for sharing this, anon. SO many children endure parentification, spousification, covert incest, and sexual abuse at the hands of their mothers and never get that mistreatment recognized as such because people view women as benevolent, passive caretakers rather than full human beings who are capable of harm. Adults wield immense power over children, particularly parents, and this power structure functions in much the same way men's power over women does -- it makes children into the property of adults, and facilitates abuse.

You are not alone in this experience at all. I'm sure you've heard all about Jeannette McCurdy's Memoir, but if you haven't read it, you might find it affirming. The poet Anne Sexton also sexually abused her daughter, Linda, who wrote a memoir about it called Searching for Mercy Street that is also a powerful read. The host of the podcast The Mental Illness Happy Hour is an adult survivor of covert sexual abuse at the hand of his mother, and he speaks about it quite frequently and thoughtfully on his show, and has interviewed numerous guests who have also survived covert incest. As a male survivor of sexual abuse at the hands of a woman, he's a rare, needed voice, and I've gotten a ton out of listening to it. There's also a self-help book on covert incest that I've read and appreciated called Silently Seduced. You may also find value in Issendai's analysis of estranged parent forums -- lots of documentation of abusive female parents and how they justify themselves to be found there, and the author eviscerates it expertly.

I hope that reading and listening to some of this material will help you to more clearly see the outlines of your own abuse and to recognize it as wrong and distinct from true maternal care. It wasn't my mom who was the chief boundary violator in my household, it was my dad, but a lot of what he did mimicked the traditionally "maternal" abuse profile, and all these resources helped me wrap my head around it a lot better. It's triggering stuff, but I think it is worth plunging these depths when you feel safe to do so, to what ever degree you can comfortably manage. You might want to dig up the Mental Illness Happy Hour episodes specifically about the host's abuse experience first, since that focuses on a man's experience of having been groomed by his mom.

Thanks for writing. My inbox is open if you wanna talk. This stuff was a foundational trauma for me that I have processed heavily and I'm always willing to discuss it more with people who have been there. <3

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wlntrsldler · 1 year ago

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marvel masterlist

bucky barnes:

series

DOPPELGÄNGER: Bucky has only been in love once and it was before he was put in ice and way before he became the Winter Soldier. What happens when Bucky meets Y/N, the exact look alike of the girl he used to love? (Social Media AU) (WIP) DISCONTINUED

ROSES: Bucky tells Y/N he’s the Winter Soldier. The next day, he’s taken by the government and that’s the last Y/N sees of him... until they cross paths again. But what if Bucky doesn’t remember her? (COMPLETED)

TO BE SO LONELY: When Bucky and Y/N signed up for this online penpal system, they never expected to grow attached to the other person behind the screen. (COMPLETED)

FALLING: Bucky has been distant lately. Y/N doesn’t know why. (COMPLETED)

THE BREAKUP CHRONICLES: A collection of imagines that can be read independently or as a whole fic about Y/N and Bucky’s relationship post-breakup. DISCONTINUED

one shots

NOT MY TYPE AT ALL: Y/N isn’t Bucky’s type but honestly, he doesn’t care about that anymore. (Not My Type At All by Jacob Whitesides)

SLOW DANCING IN A BURNING ROOM: Y/N knew that Bucky had to leave someday but that didn’t mean that she was ready when the day came. (Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer)

CLOSE TO YOU: Requested! Bucky loves Y/N, he didn’t mean to snap at her. (Close To You by Rihanna)

LAST KISS: 1940’s Bucky tells Y/N that he got his orders. (Last Kiss by Taylor Swift)

KISS ME SLOWLY: Bucky keeps running away from Y/N. He doesn’t want to get attached. (Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute)

FALLING LIKE THE STARS: Bucky and Y/N fall in love but he’s sent off to fight the war. (Falling Like the Stars by James Arthur)

HARD PLACE: Bucky and Y/N can’t stop fighting and it’s getting too much. (Hard Place by H.E.R)

F&MU**: Bucky and Y/N hate each other… but they can’t stop letting their anger out through sex. (F&MU by Kehlani) 18+!

MAY I ASK: Y/N and Bucky see each other for the first time since the breakup. Y/N confronts Bucky on why he ended things. (May I Ask by Luke Chiang)

I WILL BE FOUND: Bucky finally found the place where he belongs when he met Y/N but at times, he wished that he could somehow take the life he used to have and magically fit it into the life he had now. (I Will Be Found by John Mayer)

10 AM: REQUESTED! Bucky is hopelessly in love with Y/N. He stops himself from saying anything to her because he’s afraid of getting hurt again, not knowing how much more he can take in his lifetime. (10AM by Keaton Henson)

FLAWLESS**: Bucky and Y/N are friends with benefits. They found a new thing to play with in the bedroom. The Winter Soldier. (Flawless by The Neighbourhood)

CHERIE: Bucky doesn’t understand why Y/N is always so happy. He never thought he would be one of the people who got entranced by her until he was. (Cherry by Harry Styles)

TEE SHIRT: Bucky and Y/N walk into a music shop and she hears the song her and her ex used to love playing in the background. (Tee Shirt by Birdy)

I’M LONELY: lex’s writing challenge! enemies to lovers; “Will you wait for me?” (i’m lonely by luz)

LOUD: Every time Y/N is afraid, she plays her music too loudly but this time, Bucky is there to comfort her.

BUBBLES: Short Bucky imagine about bubbles.

DOCTOR ME UP: Y/N is Bucky’s doctor when he wakes up in Wakanda.

WHITE DRESS: Bucky loves her, so so much, especially as she walks down the aisle in her white dress.

SHAWARMAS: Bucky has a crush on Y/N, the cashier from the Shawarma place.

NO CLUE: Y/N and Bucky hate each other. Nobody knows why. Whenever someone asks, the pair just say, “I have my reasons.” Some think that something happened between them when Bucky was in hiding. Some think that Bucky did something to Y/N when he was the Winter Soldier. Some think that there’s no actual reason- they simply hate each other.

RITUALS: You died on a mission and all Bucky has left is the voicemail you left him before you got on the Quinjet.

FAMILIARITY: Love is a foreign concept to Bucky.

peter parker:

JEALOUS: Where Peter tells Y/N that he’s Spiderman and things go down. (Jealous by Labrinth)

#bucky barnes #captain america #winter soldier #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes imagine #frances writes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x yn #marvel #marvel imagines #marvel oneshot #peter parker

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definitelynotshouting · 2 months ago

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Hi I’m obsesseddddd with your hunger au and after reading the lore doc and the fic I have a couple questions if you don’t mind

Ok first off this isn’t really a question and more like a “huh wouldn’t that be fucked up” thought but uhhhh. So og grian was pretty much trapped in a box and constantly watched while the larva developed right. Did the watchers ever feed off him? Bc I imagine being trapped and just waiting to die wouldn’t be great for your emotional state. Or would they not since he is hosting the larva and that point so they can’t/wont feed on a host? Oh also you said that he made the deal to become a watcher while under duress. I imagine that duress could easily be heightened by some hungry watchers. And having your brain lightly fried would probably make you more susceptible to agreeing to a fucked up situation

And for my second question I was curious how aware the general populace/the hermits are of watchers?? Like are they a known thing and ppl just aren’t sure how they work or what. Because the rescue group had to puzzle out that grian was benefiting from their suffering in some way, but pearl seemed to have some idea of what grian was with the whole “eating our brains” bit so I’m curious what levels of knowledge they’re operating with here

Anyways thanks for reading my silly little thoughts on your amazing au!! It’s so fun I’m having such a good time with the horrible things happening

Im so glad you like the fic, anon!! :DD im always so touched when people tell me they enjoyed it enough to read the lore behind it-- gods ive gotta update that, there are a sizeable amount of newer asks i havent added to it yet, plus my beloved friend @/corvidaearts made a proper carrd for it on my birthday that i plan on replacing the google doc with!!! Just, uh, as soon as i add aforementioned posts dkcjsjdjfj

That would be super fucked up if they fed on him while he was trapped, OUGHHHH.... id say in canon probably not, because feeding off of one Player is really really dangerous for them, and Grian was now a host for their experiment to see if they could bring their population back up. If anything, nobody touched or interacted with him beyond the bare minimum it took to keep him safe from any potential respawns, and it was likely only the colony elders who even had direct access to him in the first place. THAT BEING SAID..... GODS THATS FUCKED UP I LOVE IT. And, well, i suppose one Watcher did feed on him.. which was Grian himself, as he emerged from his Player cocoon. Player!Grian's final moments of agony and terror were amplified to the max as his Watcher-self's very first meal, and that haunts Grian a lot late at night if he lets himself think about it

The duress he was placed under to become a host in the first place involved a significant amount of heightened emotional leverage though, thats for sure. One of these days i need to map out how exactly that went down, but i know that it involved an offer that was not actually an offer, several lies through omission, intimidation tactics that spanned the entirety of Evo in the first place, and using Grian's own fear-- both of them, and for his friends-- against him. Real fucked up situation all around 😔😔😔😔

General populace does not know much if anything about the Watchers!! The Watchers are, aside from this one colony, pretty much extinct; even before that, they relied quite a lot on camouflage and secrecy to keep their presence from being discovered, both by their prey and by the Seekers that hunted them.

Some very very old Players might know whispers of information-- rumors from the tail end of a game of telephone, as it were. And there are for sure a few individuals here and there who know of them due to personal experience (including the entire Evo crew, which was ofc a special case), but because Player information is not centralized in any capacity in this universe, the vast majority of Players have zero knowledge that Watchers even exist, let alone what they do and how they feed.

Pearl, with her previous knowledge and experience with Watchers and how they operated while involved with the Evo server, made some really good educated guesses about how Grian works and what's going on with him. And ofc everyone on Hermitcraft, plus all the lifers, knows that Grian at the very least can manipulate Player emotions to an extreme degree-- putting those context clues together, you can piece together quite a few connections. She doesn't have the full picture, but at this point in time she's basically figured out a good chunk of it. The rest will have to come from Grian himself >:]

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #grian #evo watchers #watcher grian #pearlescentmoon #hermitcraft #life series #THESE WERE VERY GOOD QUESTIONS THANK YOU :DDD #i hope these are satisfying answers!!!#txt

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nadinebrooks · 2 years ago

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Here is the link to my masterlist.

This one is a little long because I didn't divide it up into 2 parts, but I hope everyone enjoys! Do you prefer them to be shorter or a little on the longer side?

You Get Jealous

Harry: Gryffindor, halfblood, same year

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her.

I know hate is a strong word, but it was the only emotion I was feeling at this moment. I hate her perfect flaming red her. I hate her perfect freckled complexion. And I hate her perfect personality. She had Harry wrapped around her perfect little finger. She didn't even have to do anything. She just existed and he was obsessed.

After I had to play in that Quidditch match for Harry, Oliver Wood wanted me to start coming to practice. I was learning the roles of the other positions. He explained that he wanted to have me around just in case. I was not looking forward to playing Quidditch in front of a crowd again. I hope nobody on the team needed me.

On the way to the field for an afternoon practice on Saturday, Ginny spent the entire time flirting with Harry. She was the team's new Chaser. It was as if he actually enjoyed the attention.

I mean who wouldn’t. There were guys who would go to detention for an entire month with Snape if they got a chance just to talk to Ginny Weasley.

She was absolutely perfect. I hated that I felt this way because I liked to consider Ginny one of my closest friends.

I tried not to scoff as I watched Ginny talking to Harry. She was batting her eyelashes and giggling. She would touch his arm and he leaned into her touch. Harry was laughing at things that she was saying, but I couldn’t hear what the conversation was about. I knew that Harry wasn't faking his laughter. Ginny was a funny person.

During practice I sat in the stands and took notes on the different positions. The only position that I think I would have liked besides Seeker would be Beater. I think I would imagine the ball as Ginny's head.

While I was watching practice, I was thinking about how I was so happy that I wasn't actually practice. It was a grueling one. Oliver told us that he wanted to win the championship this year and he wasn't playing.

He was making sure that this team was ready for anything and everything. I did appreciate him for that, but I would much rather be curled up in the common room with a good book.

That sounded much better than watching Ginny and Harry flirt. Anything sounds much better than that.

She looked absolutely perfect while she was flying around on her broom. She wasn't sweaty at all. There wasn't a single hair out of place on her head.

"You're scowling. What's wrong?" Hermione asked from beside me. She decided that come down to the quidditch pitch to hang out with me since she was done with all her homework for the day.

"I'm not scowling Hermione." I grumbled tearing my eyes away from Ginny so that I could look at her. I was happy to have her here.

"You’re definitely scowling (y/n). You don’t have to talk about what's wrong to me, but don't keep all your emotions bottled up inside. It's not good for you." She calmly replied.

Hermione had always been good at reading me. I knew that she knew what was wrong with me. She wasn't going to force me to say anything, but she knew what was going on in my mind.

"I know Hermione. I just get so..." I trailed off not really sure how to explain to her how I felt.

"Jealous." Hermione shrugged as if it wasn't that hard to explain. It wasn’t really. I just didn't want to admit it out loud. "I don’t think you have anything to worry about (y/n). I know Harry likes you.”

"Nothing to worry about?" I rolled my eyes at her. "Ginny is perfect. She is absolutely perfect and I'm just me."

"Please don’t say that about yourself (y/n). You're perfect too. You just don’t see yourself the same way that we see you."

That didn't ease my anger at all. Not even a little bit. Ginny had been making these googly eyes at Harry all practice and I couldn’t take it anymore.

Once practice was finally over, I angrily shoved into her making sure that I bumped into her shoulder. Hard. She stumbled backwards and fell onto the ground. I smirked as I stomped off towards the castle.

I needed to go somewhere where I knew that I could be alone. I needed to be alone. I barely made it to the Room of Requirement before I collapsed onto one of the couches sobbing.

I pulled my knees into my chest and rocked slightly to sooth myself. There was absolutely nothing but silence in the room. The only thing I could hear was the sound of my sniffles.

Was I not enough for him? I mean I knew I couldn’t compete with her, but that didn't mean he had to rub it in my face. I just needed to accept the fact that I wasn't Ginny Weasley and I never would be.

"What the hell is wrong with you (y/n)?" Harry practically shouted storming into the room. His angry face was replaced with concern when he saw me balled up on the couch. I tried to respond to him, but I started crying again.

He slowly walked over to me and sat down. I could hardly see him through my tears. I couldn’t catch my breath.

"Please tell me what's wrong." He tried to pull me into his arms, but I pushed him away. I didn’t want him touching me right now.

"Am I just a game to you?" I asked as I angrily wiped away the tears.

"No (y/n). I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

"Then why?"

"I just wanted you to know how I felt when I saw you kissing Oliver."

"You mean to tell me that you toyed with my emotions because you're still stuck on something that happened over a year ago?" I was furious. He leaned forward to comfort me, but I pushed myself away.

"Yeah." He awkwardly reached up and scratched the back of his neck. "It sounds stupid when you say it like that, but I didn’t think you were going to get so upset over me talking to her."

"You weren't just talking to her. You two were all over each other." I muttered shaking my head. "I was very jealous. I know it sounds kinda stupid, but I didn't like it."

"Nothing you say sounds stupid. I'm sorry for making you feel that way."

"You better not let it happen again."

Ron: Ravenclaw, muggleborn, year above

Ron and I had always been close ever since I slapped him. I knew that I shouldn’t have a crush on him. I couldn’t lose him. Nor could I stand his rejection. I was almost positive that he had a thing for Lavender.

The thing was, he didn’t seem as into her as she was into him. I liked to think that he didn't really like her. He was just being polite. That would be the best case scenario, but life never worked out like that for me.

After some time, I wasn’t so sure. Seeing the two of them together was a constant reminder of my feelings. I tried to push those feelings away, but it was hard. It was really hard.

"Hey Ronnie." Came that annoying voice. It was Lavender. "I have a lot of work left for History of Magic. I was wondering if you could help me."

"What's in it for me?" Ron raised an eyebrow at his fellow Gryffindor.

"Whatever you want." She suggestively grinned at him causing my jaw to drop. "We can decide on something later tonight."

Ron sheepishly grinned and began gathering all of his belongings. He quickly shoved them all into his backpack and practically ran behind Lavender out of the common room.

"Gross." Hermione shuddered before gathering all of her things and heading out of the common room as well. That left me and Harry to talk about all the random things that had gone on in our lives this week.

Harry and I were no means that close, but I did spend a decent amount of time in their common room because of Hermione. We had become extremely close over the past year. I was proud to say that she was one of my best friends.

"How do you feel about Ron and Lavender?" Harry asked. I had a feeling that he had been wanting to ask me that for a while.

"Are they like together together?" I asked testing the waters. "If I'm going to honest, Lavender is not the type of girl I saw him with. I figured him and Hermione would be together by now."

"Him and Hermione argue way too much for any sort of relationship. Lavender did come out of the blue for me too. I think he's with her because he's trying to get over another girl, but you didn’t hear that from me."

The following week I managed to catch up with Ron when we both had a free period. Since we weren't in the same year it could be hard to get some time together, but we did have the same free period on Thursdays.

"How's it going with you and Lavender?" I asked as we stepped outside. We would usually walk around the grounds taking in all the scenery.

"What do you mean?" He looked confused.

"Lavender Brown? I thought the two of you were together now."

"Oh, I wouldn’t go as far as saying that we're together. It's nice to have something warm to snuggle up with in the common room, you know?"

"Ron Weasley." I stopped walking and grabbed both of his shoulders so that he could look me in the face. "You can't lead her on. That isn't fair. Especially when she thinks that your relationship could be going somewhere."

"I wouldn’t call it leading on (y/n). Besides, I think she's in the same headspace as me. We're not looking for it to go anywhere." He let out a small sigh. "I've been interested in this other girl for a while, but I don’t think she wants anything to do with me."

He had to be talking about Hermione.

"That can't be true Ron. Any girl would be lucky to have you. You're a great guy." We started back walking on the path through one of the courtyards.

"Thanks (y/n)." He darkly chuckled. "I think she just sees me as a friend though. She's never done or said anything to make me think that she was interested."

"Maybe she's nervous." I suggested. "Or she gets a little shy around you."

"I don’t think so. She's never nervous or shy around me. It's quite the opposite. Maybe it's time that I move on, you know? Maybe I should try pushing it a little harder with Lavender."

"No." I immediately shook my head. Ron turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"No what?" He raised an eyebrow.

"No. You shouldn’t move on."

"Is there something you want to tell me (y/n)?" He smirked.

"No." I grumbled.

"It's okay. You can say it. You can say that you were jealous."

"I wasn't jealous Ron." I calmy addressed. "I just don’t think it's fair to Lavender to drag your fling out when you can clearly see that she has feelings for you. You don’t want to lead her on when you have feelings for someone else."

"Hmm you're right." Ron nodded. We went back on talking about random things for the rest of the walk. Lavender hadn’t been brought back up. We headed back towards the castle when it was time for me to go to Charms class.

"Bye Ron." I gave him a little wave as I started heading up the stairs.

"Oh and (y/n)?" He called out to me before I had gotten too far away. I turned around raising my eyebrows to let him know that I was listening. "It's okay to be jealous."

Draco: Ravenclaw, pureblood, year below

This was new to her. She had taken one too many shots of fire whisky and now she was dancing on top of one of the common room tables.

(y/n) was not used to all the attention, but in this moment she had all eyes on her. Nobody was complaining though. It was nice to see the girl who was usually so shy and tame having a little bit of fun.

Tonight everyone was celebrating the end of OWLS. Even though it was only the 5th years that took them, everyone got to enjoy the perks of the parties.

Little did (y/n) know, Draco was paying very close attention to her. He had never seen her drunk before so this was new to him as well.

Draco didn't dance. Not one bit. So he had found a spot in the corner of the room where he would be able to watch (y/n).

Her hips swayed to the music and it looked as if she was having a really good time. Watching her dance on an elevated surface was something Draco could get used to.

He sat there for a while sipping his drink and enjoying the show. He didn't really like being the center of attention so this was perfect for him. Everything about this night had gone perfect. That was until he saw Pansy Parkinson making his way towards her. He tried to look away from her, but she managed to catch his gaze.

Pansy sat down on the couch beside him and tried to smile seductively at him. Sure, Pansy was a pretty girl, but he had absolutely no interest in her.

"How's your night going Draco?" She sweetly asked.

"It's going fine." He replied. He wanted to be short with his responses, but still polite. "How is yours going Pancy?"

"Mine is going really well. Thank you for asking."

"That's good Pansy."

"I don’t understand why (y/n) thinks it's a good idea to dance on the table. And then she's got that tiny dress on. It’s like she wants everyone to look at her."

"You know (y/n) isn’t like that." Draco coldly replied. He wasn’t going to let Pansy disrespect her. "She's just having a little bit of fun. She deserves it. Especially after all those hours she spent helping us study for OWLS. She didn't have to do that."

Pansy started talking, but Draco zoned out. He didn’t really care what Pansy had to say about (y/n). He was just happy that she was loosening up a little bit. As he was watching her, he noticed her eyes angrily narrow at Pansy.

Was that jealously he detected? He didn't think that (y/n) would ever be jealous of Pansy. She had absolutely no reason to be. But he knew that face. It was the face he made whenever he saw (y/n) talking to Ron Weasley.

It was the face of jealously. Maybe he could use Pansy to his advantage to see if (y/n) felt the same way about him.

He knew that he had (y/n)'s attention when she stopped dancing and had her gaze firmly fixed on the two of them. He leaned into Pansy acting as if he was extremely interested in what she had to say. He would make sure to touch her and chuckle at everything she was saying. Draco knew that he had (y/n)'s undivided attention.

(y/n) reached up and began weaving her hands through her hair. Her hips were swaying perfectly with the music as she maintained eye contact with the blonde. She ran her hands down her body making sure that the dance was more sensual than it had been before.

Damn, Draco could get used to seeing a drunk and jealous (y/n).

Pansy placed her hand on his forearm. He wanted to shake her away, but he noticed that (y/n) had hopped down from the table and was now making her way over to the two of them.

"Come dance with me Draco." She had her hands firmly placed on her hips. Even though it was a request, she wasn’t asking.

"Can't you see that he's a little busy?" Pansy spoke up.

"I want to dance Draco." (y/n) was speaking to Draco, but she was looking at Pansy. Pansy stared right back at (y/n). She wasn't just going to back down.

"Your wish is my command." He sheepishly grinned and wrapped an arm around (y/n)'s waist pulling her to the middle of the common room. They left behind a stunned looking Pansy.

"What was that (y/n)?" He smirked as her spun her around and she pressed up against his body. The two of them began moving to the music. The both of them knew that Pansy was watching so they wanted to give her a good show.

"I didn’t like the way she was all up on you." (y/n) huffed.

"Hmm do I detect a hint of jealousy?"

"No. You detect a lot of jealousy."

George: Slytherin, halfblood, same year

Once the sound of clanging pots and pans drifted up to my bedroom, I knew it was time to get out of the bed. I was never awaken this way at my house, but I came to love the sounds at the Weasley household.

As I got out of bed and tried to make myself look more presentable, the smell of bacon began wafting up the stairs. There was no food in the word that came anywhere close to Molly Weasley's cooking.

I finally climbed out of the warm bed and slipped a hoodie on over my tank top. I headed downstairs to see that I was the last one to make my way to the kitchen. Everyone else had gathered in the living room to wait for Molly to finish up cooking.

"Good morning sleeping beauty. Nice of you to join on." George joked looking over in my direction.

"You were up there so long I thought you had died." Fred added on. I rolled my eyes and flipped off the twins. The first time I did that, the twins didn't understand the gesture. It came from my Muggle side. Once they learned what it meant, it was something we did to each other all the time.

When breakfast was done cooking, Molly called all of us into the kitchen. I got ready to sit down beside George, but not before Hermione could slip into the seat before I could. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

I always sat in this seat beside George. I shrugged it off and took the seat across the table from him which was beside Ron. I didn't mind sitting by Ron at all. It was just weird because she was the one who usually sat by Ron.

Hermione and Ginny instantly began talking about celebrities from the Muggle world. Hermione had brought pictures to show Ginny. I mostly just listened to their conversation, but I would give some input every now and then. I think a lot of people forgot that my mom was a Muggle, so I was familiar with a lot of these things.

"So Hermione," Ginny gushed, "What are you looking for in a partner?"

"I've always wanted someone who could make me laugh. They need to be a kind person as well. You know that I'm not obsessed with looks, it's more about personality for me. But it wouldn’t hurt if they're nice to look at, you know? I would also like them to be taller than me which shouldn’t be too hard since I'm not the tallest person."

"Hmm sounds like you just described me." George interjected bringing all the attention to him. Hermione clearly blushed and looked away from the beaming redhead.

I felt my fist clenching and I had to force myself to finish the rest of my breakfast. If I didn’t, Molly was sure to ask what was wrong. I didn’t feel like explaining to her that I was jealous of another girl who I would be living with for the next couple of weeks.

Once breakfast was over, the boys and Ginny decided that they wanted to play Quidditch. It was snowing outside so it was pretty cold. I made sure to put on extra socks. I hated when my toes got cold.

Hermione made her way over to a spot on the porch so she could read a book she had just gotten, but still pay attention to the game happening above. I would be the referee for their little match.

They had been playing for a little while and I watched as George flew down and landed beside Hermione. He said something to her, but I was too far away to hear. They exchanged a couple of words and George quickly ran inside. After a couple of moments, he came back out with one of his knitted sweaters that he always got for Christmas.

It was one of the signature knitted sweaters from Molly. Why was he giving it to Hermione? She immediately pulled it on over her head and gave George the biggest smile ever.

I felt myself shaking with rage. He didn't even ask if I was cold. I told everyone that I had to go to the bathroom and headed towards the house. George called after me, but I just kept walking.

I tried to quickly walk upstairs to the bathroom, but I was no match to his long strides. I managed to get to the bathroom and almost slam the door, but he caught ahold of it.

"What are you doing?" I hissed trying to pull it shut. "I need to use the bathroom."

"Not before you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong George. I just need to pee."

"You've been pouting all morning. Something is clearly wrong with you."

"I'm fine." I said trying to keep my voice from rising. I didn't feel like explaining myself to him. He cocked his head to the side studying my face. "What?" I questioned.

"I just want to know what is going on in that pretty little head of yours."

"What is going on between you and Hermione?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

"Nothing is going on between us." He threw his head back and laughed.

"What about the conversation this morning? About you claiming to be her type and then getting a sweater for her. You could've gotten her any sweater, but of course you get her one with a G on it. As if you were claiming her."

"If you want me to claim you darling, all you have to do is ask." He smirked causing my face to heat up under his gaze. "I was trying to get a rile out of you this morning and about the sweater, she was just cold. You don’t have to worry about anything. I only have eyes for you." He leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead. "Have a nice pee."

He turned away from me and walked back down the hallway. I had forgotten all about going to the bathroom.

Fred: Gryffindor, pureblood, 2 years below (same as Trio)

"I just heard that Hannah Abbott is going to Hogsmeade with Fred tonight." Hermione angrily ran her hands through her thick hair. She was practically ranting to Harry and I. "I don’t understand what he sees in her. I mean he's got a perfectly good girl who is practically in love with him, but he doesn’t care. Not one bit. I mean what does he even see in Hannah? She can’t even hold a candle to you (y/n)."

"Hold on Hermione. Let's take a minute and think about what you just said. I'm not in love with Fred." I jokingly rolled my eyes at her. Sure, I was a little hurt. I thought that Fred and I had something going on, but maybe he decided to move on because I hadn't expressed my feelings towards him.

"It's okay to admit your feelings (y/n). I see the way you look at him. Please don't make the same mistake as me and take too long to say how you feel." Hermione lovingly placed a hand on top of mine. I knew that she had been feeling a little down lately.

I had a feeling that Fred was teasing me. We had been playing this game of cat and mouse for years. But what could I say to him? If I said what I really wanted to say, I had a feeling that he would laugh in my face and leave with Hannah on their date.

I decided that I needed to tell him. I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t. I was tired of being this jealous girl who was scared to admit her feelings. When he came down the stairs to leave for his date, I stopped him.

"Where are you going?" I stood in front of him blocking his path. I was done with this silly little game the two of us had been playing for the past couple of years.

"I'm just going out with a friend. Why? Is there something you need (y/n)?"

"No." I shook my head trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to him. I awkwardly rocked back and forth on my heels. I should have thought about this before I corralled him in our common room. "I was just wondering. I heard you were going on a date."

"I mean, I guess you could call it a date. Look (y/n), I can see that something is on your mind. Can we continue this conversation when I get back? I've got to meet her and I don't want to keep her waiting."

"Sure Fred. Have fun." I nodded stepping out of his way so that he could walk around me. I have him a small wave as he quickly walked out of the common room. Every fiber in my being was screaming for me to stop him. To tell him that I was right here waiting on him. I didn’t want him to go on that date with Hannah. It should be me that he was taking out on a date. I slowly walked back over to my seat on the couch.

"I'm sorry Hermione." I mumbled as tears were threatening to tumble down my cheeks. "I just froze. I didn’t know what to say to him.

"You don’t have to apologize to me. I froze so many times when I wanted to tell him how I felt. You could always wait until he comes back and talk to him."

"I just don’t know what I would even say. What if he hates me?"

"He could never hate you (y/n)." Hermione gave me a supportive smile before standing up and leaving me on the couch to think about what I wanted to say when he came back. I only sat there for about an hour or so until Fred got back.

I had been going over how I expected this conversation to go in my mind. Let's just say that my guesses of how this conversation was going to go weren't very good.

"Hey, (y/n)." I heard Fred say as he walked in. I had decided that I was just going to go for it. I had nothing to lose at this point. "I didn’t forget that you wanted to talk about something." He walked over to the couch and plopped down beside me. He casually tossed an arm on couch beside me. "So what's up?"

"Well how was your date?" I asked trying to ease into the conversation.

"It was okay." He shrugged. "It was nice to get out of Hogwarts for a little while, but it wasn’t anything spectacular."

"Who was the date with?"

"It was with Hannah Abbott. I think you know her."

"I do know Hannah." I sadly nodded. She seemed perfect for Fred to go on a date with. I'm sure they had an amazing time and he was just saying these things to keep my feelings from being hurt.

"Did you ask her? Or did she ask you? Or was this more of a mutual thing?"

"I mean she instigated it, but it was a pretty mutual thing. Is everything alright (y/n)?"

"Yes."

"No it isn't. I can tell by the look on your face that everything isn't okay." He gently took my face in his hands so that I could look him in the face. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"Yes I know." I shyly looked away. "Honestly Fred, I didn't want you to go on a date with Hannah."

"Why not?" Fred raised an eyebrow.

"I think you know why." I mumbled.

"Please enlighten me." He was grinning now. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Now he was just teasing me. He knew exactly why I didn’t want him on that date. This might be my only chance to say something. But at the same time, I didn't want to be a game to him. "Just say it (y/n)."

"Okay fine." I stood up so that I could run away if I needed to. "Please don’t go on another date with Hannah Abbott. Actually Fred, I don’t want you to go on a date with anyone else."

"Were you jealous (y/n)?" He smirked.

"You’re really going to make me spell it out for you." I grumbled rolling my eyes.

"No, I don't need you to do that. I'm going to honest with you, the date wasn't that good. So uh, (y/n), would you like to go on a date with me? I would hate to see you jealous again. Even though you were pretty cute."

Cedric: Hufflepuff, muggleborn, same year

For this one can we please pretend that Cedric didn't die during the Triwizard Tournament. Please and thank you.

I was furious. I had never been the jealous type, but lately Cedric had me feeling emotions that I had never felt before. My eyes narrowed at the very pretty Ravenclaw who was straight up flirting with Cedric. It’s not like I could be upset or anything. I wasn't even dating the guy.

So why did I feel envious when I saw them talking? I was bitter and spiteful. Cedric was someone who bounced between the line of friendly and flirtatious. I wanted to walk right over to him, grab his tie, and force my lips onto his.

At times it felt like he was interested in me. And at other times it felt like he just saw me as a friend. Why were boys so confusing? If you want me why wouldn’t you just say so? It’s not that hard.

After winning the Triwizard Tournament, Cedric became even more popular at Hogwarts. He had all these girls throwing themselves at him, but Cedric was not someone who liked to play with girl's emotions.

I knew that he was really busy with all the interviews he was having to do after winning. He was having to be extremely careful with any girls that he was seen talking to. Cedric told me that's why he had distanced himself from me these past couple of weeks.

We were very good friends and he didn't want the Daily Prophet or Rita Skeeter to turn our relationship into something it's not. Rita Skeeter had done enough digging into his personal life.

I appreciated Cedric for wanting to protect me, but would it be so bad if people did think we were together in that way? I mean maybe that would keep a certain raven-haired beauty from touching all over my man.

Well, he didn’t know that he was my man, but he was my man.

Cedric was obviously trying to keep Cho Chang at a distance from him. He was looking at her as if she was only a friend, but she wasn't taking the hint. Cedric was too much of a gentleman to do much about it though. He graciously accepted her compliments and politely smiled when she flirted with him. I wanted to scream.

I had seen enough of this and they were both going to hear about it from me.

"How desperate can you be Chang?" I grumbled walking by her. I didn’t stop walking. Instead, I kept walking by her as if I hadn't said anything. She scowled looking towards me. Cedric chuckled and gave me this amused looked.

"Is there something you want to say (l/n)?" She spat. I didn't expect her to respond and I whipped around glaring at her.

"Not really, I was just trying to give you some advice. You're a pretty girl, but even you can't make desperation look good."

"Oh please don't tell me that you've caught feelings." She threw her head back and laughed.

"No." My eyes narrowed at her. "I just know an attention seeking whore when I see one."

"(y/n)." Cedric scolded and lightly began dragging me way from her. "That wasn't very nice of you."

"Oh well." I shrugged grinning at the look on Cho Chang's face as we left.

"I've never seen you like this (y/n)." He stopped walking and stared down at me.

"Seen me how?" I raised an eyebrow. My expression told him to tread lightly.

"Jealous." He instantly replied.

"I was not jealous. I just wanted Chang to have more respect for herself. She was practically begging for you to take her upstairs to your bedroom."

"It was harmless flirting (y/n)." He chuckled.

"It was anything but harmless."

"I really like this jealous side of you. I hope to see it again." He jokingly pinched my side.

"I won't be so nice to her next time." I grumbled swatting his hand away.

"And I wouldn’t have it any other way."

#harry potter x you #harry potter x reader #harry potter preferences #harry potter imagine #harry potter masterlist #ron weasley x ravenclaw reader #ron weasly x reader #draco malfoy x slytherin!reader #draco malfoy x reader #george weasley x reader #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley imagine #cedric diggory #cedric diggory x female reader

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ragdolls-and-such · 5 months ago

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MP100 WONDERLAND AU!!!

I will probably never write a real fic for this, so I'm gonna explain the general plot and ideas and lore and stuff as a way to introduce each character. Or you can just not read and look at the designs instead

Ritsu is our Alice,

and Sho is the rabbit he chases after. Unlike the white rabbit, Sho isn't anxious - he's mischievous more than anything. While he IS trying to be on time to the Queen's croquet game at first, teasing Ritsu as he fails to catch up with him becomes his main priority.

Tome and Goda (do people in this fandom call him musashi or goda?? i have never seen anyone talk about him) are the first characters Ritsu meets. They play the roles of the mouse and the dodo from the book. After the whole pool of tears thing - I'm assuming you know the general story of Alice in Wonderland - Tome infodumps at everyone, much like the mouse does in the book. Goda is basically like "that's BORING we should EXERCISE the water off of us" and then the caucus race happens!!

The scene where Alice gets stuck in the Rabbit's house does happen but I have no character assigned to Bill so I didn't draw anyone for this.

Next stop is the caterpillar!! Played by Dimple. He's the ghost of a caterpillar that looked forward to becoming a butterfly, but died before reaching the chrysalis stage, and has since become a little crazed about the butterfly idea. He finds Ritsu kind of annoying but keeps talking to him because he enjoys the attention.

Mezato is the Cheshire cat! Psycho Helmet is not a thing in Wonderland so her time is more devoted to being mysterious and cryptic and taking photos of people and things. Plays the cheshire cat role pretty straight.

And now! The moment everyone's been waiting for! The three characters that people usually care the most about in aiw AND mp100.

Reigen started the hat business with his good pals Serizawa and Mob and then went a little bonkers. The Queen sentenced him and his coworkers/friends to eternal teatime for being annoying basically. (There IS lore there, but aiw is my special interest and i could talk about that forever.) He's still very Reigen-y but always a little on edge. Basically, think about Reigen's most high-energy yet pathetic little meow meow moments, it's just that.

Serizawa is just like - imagine you teleported Serizawa into the March Hare's place without warning and he just had to figure out what to do about it. That's not what happened, but that's basically how he behaves.

Mob is the dormouse, but like the book version of the dormouse, he gets his time in the spotlight. (anyone out there know about the three girls in the well?? no? just me?) Because this is Ritsu's dream, nobody needs to wonder whether mousemob is humanritsu's brother. Just don't worry about it

Finally, we have Teru as the Queen of Hearts. His personality definitely matches his pre/during-that-fight-with-mob self. Violent, self-absorbed fashion disaster. Sho, being his messenger, has a very "siblings who kind of hate each other" dynamic with this Teru, in my eyes.

That's it!! If anyone wants to write or draw a wonderland au based on this casting, that's totally fine because I in no way own the idea of a wonderland au. That's like, the most basic "what if this media was actually this other story?" au concept.

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madi-writes-things · 8 months ago

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Nobody Pt. 6

(C.Sturniolo X Reader)

Summary:

Chris and Y/N never seemed to get along, but sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places

Word Count: 1,318

TW:MASSIVE WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER!!! (TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MY WRITING IS NOT WORTH YOUR HEALTH), Cursing, SH (not in detail, but it is talked about), Blood, Panic Attacks, Hurt Comfort, SUI ATTEMPT, Crying, Really Depressing, lots of POV swaps, Not Edited

A/N: Thank you for all of the support that I’ve been getting for this story, this chapter is really heavy… PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Please do not read if it will negatively impact your health, this story on tumblr is not worth it. I’ll put a brief summary at the beginning of the next chapter, for those who need to skip. This is probably the worst that it will get. Love you guys so much 🥰

-Madi <3

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

I woke up to Chris wrapped around my waist, just like I had for the last seven months. I don’t know how much longer I can handle this facade, but I also don’t know if I can let it go. The worst part is that I can’t even vent to my best friend, seeing as he is the cause of this whole situation. I stare down at Chris, his hair is so soft. I feel the burn of tears in my eyes, trying best to stop them from falling. Failing miserably.

My sniffles cause Chris’s to lift his head up to look at me. “What’s wrong?” I tell him it’s nothing, not a big deal. I can tell he doesn’t believe me, he sits up looking deep into my eyes. “You can tell me anything Y/N, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or anything.” I just cry harder. He pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around me as I burrow my face into his shoulders.

we stay like that for an indeterminate amount of time. I cry until I physically can’t anymore, Chris doesn’t make me explain myself.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I barely sleep anymore.

Y/N has been drifting away for months now, and it scares the shit out of me. I’m scared that if I fall asleep she’ll sneak past me and relapse. I can’t imagine what I would do if I lost her, I don’t know who I would be.

I’m scared to leave her alone, to the point that I don’t even want to leave her to go film with my brothers. The fans have commented on how many videos we’ve made at our house, rather than our usual car videos. I just tell Matt and Nick that I feel bad leaving her alone without us.

I knew it was a mistake to leave her alone tonight, but the fans were getting suspicious. We made the decision not to tell the fans, since we didn’t plan for this charade to go on for so long. I don’t know if I can end it, I’m too in love with her to imagine laying in an empty bed again.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV (start of the really bad stuff)

The guys left to film a car video, it’s been months since they did that. I haven’t been alone long enough to think about relapsing, but sitting alone in Chris’s room, the feeling of loneliness is crushing me.

I need to distract myself. Chris would be so disappointed in me if I didn’t, and I can’t call him while he’s recording. I’ll cook myself something for dinner, the guys will be happy to eat when they get home.

“”“”“”“”“”

Dinner came and went, and I still didn’t feel better. I was scared to call Chris, I didn’t want to bother him and his brothers. It was a mistake.

I stare down, my legs tore to shreds and the wounds on my wrists, I need help. I don’t think I really want to die, I was just overwhelmed. I can’t let them find me dead. I can’t make them hurt the same way that I have. I need to call someone.

I reach for my phone, trying desperately to open it. The blood on my hands makes everything harder, but I can’t get up to get a towel. If I stand up I’ll surely pass out. I’m already lightheaded, just hoping that Chris answers my call.

“”“”“”“”“”

Chris’s POV

I’m laughing with my brothers and I don’t notice it at first. A small buzz in my pocket. There it is again. As soon as I pull it out I panic.

LOML 🥰 CALLING… ✅ ❎

“Guys! Stop talking real quick.” I immediately press the answer button. “Baby… is everything okay?”

No response. Fuck.

“Matt we need to go home.” He gives me a worried look, but before he can say anything I’m talking into the phone again. “Baby, I need you to talk to me… tell me everything is okay.”

there’s a second before she responds, I can tell that she’s been crying based on the sniffles from her end. “I fucked up Chris.”

My heart drops.

“go faster Matt!” Fuck. “What happened, I need you to tell me what you did!” I don’t mean to yell, but I’ve never been more scared in my life.

“I don’t want to die…” No. This isn’t real. It cant be.

“You aren’t going anywhere, I promise.” I quickly turn to nick and tell him to get 911 on speed dial. “Please just keep talking to me, I need to hear your voice.”

Matt breaks multiple laws in an attempt to get home, but I don’t notice. My whole focus is on keeping Y/N talking. When we get home we all rush upstairs.

“Nick, go sit in the loft.” He looks offended when I say it. “She wouldn’t want you to see her like this, I don’t think she’d ever forgive me if I let you.” He stays where he is. “Please Nick!” My voice cracks as I say his name. He leaves with tears In his eyes.

“Matt I need you to get the first aid kit from under her bed, it should have everything I need.” With that I open the door to the bathroom.

the scene in front of me is like something straight out of a horror film. I can’t even tell where the blood is coming from. I immediately rush to her side.

“I’m so sorry… I tried to distract myself, I promise.” She’s rambling, but I don’t mind. I’m trying so hard not to cry, but she looks so pale.

“don’t apologize, I’m not mad, nobody is mad” it doesn’t stop the tears, she’s still a sobbing mess beneath me.

Matt returns with the kit, clearly distraught. “It’s okay Matt, it doesn’t look like she needs stitches.” He looks frozen in place, and his breathing is erratic. Shit. “Go sit with nick… she’s going to be okay.” After a few moments he finally pulled himself out of the doorway.

by the time I’m done cleaning her up, Y/N’s tears have dried up. “You don’t need stitches…” I stare at the deep lines that run across each wrist. “But it would make the scars smaller, do you want to go to the hospital?”

“NO!” She’s shaking her head violently. “Please don’t make me go, they’ll take me away again!” I can see the tears forming again.

“ok, we don’t have to go.” I grabs the butterfly bandages, and start pulling the skin together, before tightly wrapping it with gauze. She’s more covered in gauze wrapping than actual clothes at this point. I carry her to my room and get her changed, before taking her to the loft.

“”“”“”“”“”

Y/N’s POV

Chris changed me, being very gentle around my gauze, and then he set me down on the loft couch next to Nick and Matt. I hear him mumble something about them staying with me while he cleans up.

I can see the relief in Nicks eyes when he sees that I’m alive, Matt just locks eyes with me and leaves. I never meant to upset him, but I can’t seem to find the tears for it right now. I fall into nicks chest and he just holds me.

I tell Nick everything. The relapse. The fake dating ruse. The fact that I really do love Chris.

He just tells me that it’s okay. He promises me that he’s not mad.

Once Chris is done cleaning the bathroom floor, he takes me to lay down in his bed. He’s so gentle when he snakes his arms around me, careful not to hit my arms or legs.

“I told Nick…” he just stares into my eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to love me anymore, there’s no point in lying anymore.”

“who said I was pretending?”

“”“”“”“”“”

@unbruisable @bernardsbendystraws @sturniolo-fann

#madi writes things #chris sturniolo #chris sturniolo imagine #chris x reader #sh!reader #tw: sh #self h@rm #tw: suidice

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meidui · 8 months ago

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as you know, i am absolutely obsessed with 'seven years in heaven'. do you have any recommendations for similar fics where they teeter on the edge of a breakup or divorce, or where exes get back together? i'm looking for stories where the tension is all based on miscommunications and assumptions, and nobody is genuinely angry/there's no hate between them. i need that stupid yearning and longing when, in fact, they both still want each other. i've read a few but i can't get enough 😩✨

DO I EVER!! 🥰

In Too Deep by @fohatic

Steve knew that he was asking for trouble when he agreed to let the gallery auction off a date with him for charity, but he needed to get in the director's good books if he wanted to make it as an artist in this cutthroat town. He never imagined that his participation would ignite an outrageous bidding war, or that the infamous, billionaire ex that he hadn't seen since their sudden breakup two years prior would show up and stake his claim.

a *slightly* twisted, darker spin on meidui's "frequencies of sea and space"

frequencies of sea and space by meidui

“One mil,” a voice says, firmly, and Steve would recognise that voice anywhere. Like thick amber honey, like smoke from a fire, lighting him up and burning him down.

There are no higher bids.

Steve looks across the room and gazing back at him is the face he’s spent two years squeezing his eyes shut at night trying to block out, but those eyes meet his and it’s all over.

From the Ground Up by @omg-just-peachy

Tony and Steve broke up years ago and Tony never quite got over it. When they finally see each other again at Pepper's wedding, Rhodey convinces Tony this might just be his second chance.

Paint the Town Blue by @omg-just-peachy

Ten years since he’d seen or spoken to Tony Stark, ten years since they’d broken up to go away to school. And now this email. It could be his only chance to see Tony again.

I'll keep your brittle heart warm by @omg-just-peachy

They got married when they were young, just twenty-four years old, despite the arguments from their friends that they should wait, that neither of them were ready for a commitment like marriage so young. Steve distinctly remembered Sam pointing out that the male brain isn’t even fully developed until age twenty-five. But they were young and passionate, so sure they’d found their perfect person that they could overcome anything and everything life threw at them.

And it was true.

For six months.

it always leads to you by @arabellamonkey

Slowly at first, and then all of a sudden, everything made sense: the way Tony had looked at him that first time when Pepper had introduced them, the way his eyes were always searching for him everywhere they went, and how Tony had asked him about his suit, voice clearly flirty now that he thought about it again. And that smile, oh God, that smile… it had been the same he had given him all those years ago when they flirted in their kitchen. “Wait, you… you recognized me?” Steve asked, eyes wide and voice incredulous. Tony scoffed, expression still bemused, “don’t insult my intelligence, of course I did.” Steve stared at him, both eyebrows raised. “Okay, it might have taken me a few days to figure it out,” Tony ended up admitting.

*** Or, after breaking up five years ago because of heavy miscommunication, Steve gets assigned to be Tony's personal bodyguard.

dreamt of you all summer long by @ifmywishescametrue

Steve spends months after the breakup trying to forget Tony, but it never seems to work. That's alright, though, because Tony can't forget him either.

all I ever knew of love by @stovetuna

For six months, nobody knew that Tony Stark and Steve Rogers were dating. Which means no one knows they broke up six weeks ago.

Catching Lightning in a Bottle by @sabrecmc

College student Tony meets janitor Steve at MIT and they fall blissfully in love, until Howard happens and things fall apart. One divorce paperwork snafu courtesy of the ever-helpful Jarvis, and ten years later, Tony has to get re-divorced from Steve.

This does not go as he imagines.

Or, the Sweet Home Alabama AU that no one--well, okay, a few of you--asked for.

Modern Love by @captainneverever

Tony drifts into a relationship with Steve after a one night stand. He thinks that Steve is modern and well adjusted to the 21st century but finds that Steve is old-fashioned in unexpected ways.

Captain Coffee by @captainneverever

Steve is content managing his own coffee shop and life is full with friends and neighbors. But an owner of big coffee chain pressures him to sell and someone from his past reappears. And now Steve needs to fight a bully, an ex, and himself to get his happy ending.

Never Worlds Apart by @kandisheek

It's been six years since he's seen Tony when he walks into his favorite diner and sees him sitting in their old booth, as if nothing ever happened. Steve can't believe the nerve of Tony to just show up out of the blue after the way he ended things.

Turns out Tony has a reason for wanting to make amends. And Steve doesn't appreciate only finding out about it after Tony has already almost died.

Plausible Deniability by nowalee

Tony and Steve broke up a month ago. Now, Tony is back because Fury wants him for an undercover mission. Only catch? Steve has to go with him, because the public doesn't know they broke up yet. It's a perfect cover.

And Tony can totally be alone on a mission with his ex who he isn't over yet. What could possibly go wrong?

You, Me and the Christmas Tree by @wikketkrikket

Steve thinks Tony is drinking. Tony thinks Steve is cheating. They both think their marriage is over. They are just going to give Peter one last family Christmas because he thinks everything is fine.

None of them are wrong, but none of them are right either. When Steve and Tony get snowed in together 3 days before Christmas, will the enforced proximity be the time they need to figure things out?

(Spoilers: yes, yes it will)

#if anyone has additions please add them because i also can't get enough 😌#soliloquent-stark #asked #fic rec #stony #stevetony

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uceyliyahh · 1 month ago

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UNDER YOUR TOUCH

Summary: After her difficult breakup, Tiana wanted to start anew with her life. That's when she realized her life would be better when she met him.

This fanfic is 18+! NO MINORS ALLOWED

word count: 4776

smut warning; it’ll come in the story randomly so PLEASE PLEASE look out for it I’m not really good at writing ✍🏽 smuts but I’m improving at the moment.

Jey Uso x Tiana

AWFUL GRAMMAR IM GETTING BETTER I SWEAR LOL.

comments, likes, repost are appreciated I would love the constructive feedback in what area I need to approve in. 🤍

ALSO! I don’t not want nobody stealing my fanfics or take it as theirs that will be an issue fasho so keep it cute respectfully.

I only own my OC along with the make up scenarios

But I’ll be writing along the way since this story is in my drafts on Wattpad right now so yuh. 💁🏽‍♀️

TAGS ⬇️ lmk if you wanna be tag 🏷️@pinkwithhearts @420days @jstarr86 @empressdede @angiedawn02 @biancasreign

@punksyeet @bebesobrielo @aikosilo @hunnidmilly @zillasvilla @fearlesschimera @xbriexx @lov3rla03 @bloodlinesbabe93

@charmed-dreamssss @yana3sworld @partypoison00 @magnificentbouquetmusic @mselenalovebug @skyesthebomb

@reignsboy19 @papi-priest @celesteheartsjey

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tianasworld: can't wait for our big day today 🥹 uceyjucey: ik mama can't wait to see you in your dress walking down the aisle. 🫶🏼 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey 🥹🥹 biancabelairwwe: my bestie is getting marrieddddd!! trinity_fatu: @ biancabelairwwe ikrrrr like im so proud of them. jonathanfatu: Uce is getting married finally uceyjucey: @ jonathanfatu gtfo Uce 😭😭 romanreigns: ♥️ zillafatu: I'm so proud of you cuz @ uceyjucey

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TIANA It was the day I was finally getting married to the love of my life. If someone had told the old me years ago that I would leave a toxic relationship with my ex, move to California with my best friend, and fall in love with a Samoan man, I would have laughed in their face.

Jey and I flew out to Maui, Hawaii, together for our wedding day. Instead of booking a hotel room, we opted for an Airbnb, which turned out to be aesthetically pleasing and beautiful. I also rented a car for us to drive around so we wouldn't have to rely on Ubers or Lyfts.

biancabelairwwe replied to your story: WE ARE OTWWW YOU BETTER GIVE ME A TOUR OF THE AIRBNB trinity_fatu replied to your story: brings back memories honestly I can't wait to see you in your dress girl. MontezFordWWE replied to your story: I'm honestly proud of ya'll man. MrsJackson replied to your story: what a disgrace my son could've took you there to get married if you would've gave him a chance. jonathanfatu replied to your story: sister-in-law getting marriedddd

I rolled my eyes at his mom for still defending her worthless son. But I decided to let it go because I had better things to worry about. Gianna was with her grandma since I didn't want her to get sick or anything. This way, Jey and I could have some alone time during our honeymoon.

I finally made it to the house and parked in the driveway, turning off the car's ignition while grabbing my purse and house keys. Meanwhile, Jey was retrieving our luggage from the trunk. As I unlocked the door, I looked around the house. It was just perfect, exactly as I had imagined it would be. They had given us Hawaiian orchids to wear before we arrived, and I was already in love with them.

I put one in my hair and draped others around my neck, admiring the scenery and watching the waves move back and forth. There was a pool out back as well, and I knew the girls were going to love this.

Jey came in with our luggage and placed it next to the closet by the door before putting it inside. He walked up behind me, wrapped his strong arms around my waist, and spun me around as I squealed.

"Oh my—"

"Oh my God, girl, I can't believe we are here right now!" Jey said as he planted kisses all over my face.

"I know, Papa. I'm so excited about this, our moment together," I replied, holding his hands in mine.

He didn't know I had something planned for our honeymoon after the wedding. There's a private island for couples to have their honeymoons, so I booked it for us without him even knowing.

"What time do you think everyone will be here?"

"I would probably say around the afternoon or evening time before the wedding starts because we have to get everything done before then," I said as he nodded his head.

✧.* Everyone showed up as I was in my room getting my makeup done by Bianca, and Trinity was curling my hair with the curling iron that she had brought from home.

While they were doing that, we heard the door knocking. I told them to come in without even knowing who the person was, and that's when I heard the voice. It was my mother and father coming in to see me.

"Papa! Mama! You made it," I said excitedly, giving them both a tight hug without messing up my makeup.

"We couldn't miss out on your big day, Tink. You look so beautiful in your dress," my mother said, tears forming in her eyes.

Not wanting to mess up my makeup I fanned my eyes out so that I wouldn't cry, Trinity gave my mother a tissue as she patted underneath her eyelid getting the wet tears out.

"We are so proud of you Tink, you have overcome many obstacles and challenges throughout your way but you managed to push through," I loved my father so much giving me encouragement and confidence I gave them one last hug before they could held out to their seats.

Bianca and Trinity continued to work their magic on me, telling me that they were so happy for me that I could finally be at peace with the love of my life.

I was so grateful to have them as my bridesmaids, and then I saw the love of my life standing there waiting for me.

After they finished my makeup, the door opened, and I saw my father coming in. He looked inside the mirror while I did the same.

"Are you ready, dear?" He asked me.

I nodded my head as my nerves went away, feeling a sense of peace knowing that I could finally be happy. I bid my goodbyes to the girls as I heard the music playing in the background.

It was my favorite song ever, and I especially hoped that it could be used in my wedding when I walked down the aisle.

'The day we met Frozen I held my breath Right from the start I knew that I'd found a home for my heart'

When I came down the steps, seeing my father and his father waiting on me for this special moment, my nerves started to come back again, and I began to breathe in and out to calm myself down.

I went towards them, intertwining my arms into theirs while they began walking me down the aisle. When I tell you, my mouth dropped at the outside venue; it was so gorgeous and pretty.

'Beats fast Colors and promises How to be brave? How can I love when I'm afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow'

I saw everyone standing up, congratulating me, including his family members and cousins. When I looked at him, he was standing there trying to keep his composure as he used both of his hands against his face.

'One step closer'

He looked so good in his suit, with a fresh haircut, his Cuban silver chain, and a Rolex watch on his wrist. He never fails to look good.

After his father and mine walked me down the aisle, my father came up to Jey, gave him a hug, and whispered in his ear.

"Take care of my daughter Joshua; she's a precious soul," He whispered as Jey nodded his head.

"Don't worry, pops; I will," Jey whispered back as they turned around and stared at me.

We both smiled at each other trying our best to keep our composure together while being like this, ion' think I will be after we say our vows.

'I have died everyday waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more'

Everyone sat down in their seats as the pastor began to speak.

"Dear beloved, we are gathering here today in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and woman in matrimony," Pastor Paul said.

"Today, these two soulmates join together with a declaration of love as they embark on their journey in life together." As he continued to speak, Jey and I couldn't stop stealing glances at each other, smiling at the fact that we were getting married.

"The bond and covenant of this marriage was established by God in creation; during this union, Tiana and Joshua now come joined. If any of you can show or have any reasoning to why they shouldn't be together, speak now or forever hold your peace,"

It was silent I was hoping hearing from a certain person but I guess they didn't show up which that gave me a sense of relief honestly I had enough of her shit anyways including is mother.

The pastor continued to speak as he turned his attention toward my father, who was standing there with his arms in mine.

"Who gives this woman to be married to this man?" Pastor Paul asked.

"I do, Pastor. I am giving him every single blessing to be with my daughter, " my father said, and the pastor nodded his head.

My father gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading back to his seat with my mother while the Pastor continued. After he was done speaking, it was time for Jey and I to take our vows together.

I could see that Jey was losing his composure, tears falling from his cheeks as he held my hands and smiled at me.

"Tiana, ever since I met you, you have brought nothing but pure joy into my life, especially when dealing with a lot of things that came from my past. You were right there, never leaving my side. I always want you to know that I will ride with you, protect you, and love you down with all of my heart forever. I love you so much," he confessed as I wiped his tears from his face, smiling at him.

"Joshua...oh Joshua...you have been the perfect man for me ever since I met you; you showed me how much you loved me and, if I would've told myself years ago that I would be married to someone who loves me unconditionally the old me probably would've laugh honestly, but you've been so caring and loving especially with being a great father to our daughter Gianna you mean the world to me and I'll ride with you until the day I die love and I mean it honestly," I said, feeling tears coming down my cheeks, feeling him wipe them off for me.

Jonathan's son came over with the rings, and he gave them to Jey and me so that we could put them on our fingers.

"Tiana Cole Hayes, will you have this man to be your Husband, to live together with him in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful unto him as long as you both live?" Pastor Paul said.

"I do,"

He turned toward Jey's direction, "Joshua Samuel Fatu, will you have this woman to be your Wife, to live together with her in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful unto her as long as you both live?" Jey nodded his head before speaking.

"Yes, I do,"

Jey began to place my ring on the left side of my finger, saying, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." Afterward, I placed his ring on the right side of his finger before speaking my vows.

"I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I have honored you, in the name of the Father, and the Son, and in Holy Spirit," I said as the pastor joined our right hands together.

"These two have spoken and confessed their love for each other in the name of Jesus and the Holy Spirit I Pronounced you as Mrs and Mr Fatu!" He said as everyone stood and began to clap their hands for us.

Jey pulled me in for a passionate kiss, swirling his tongue inside of my mouth as I wrapped my arms around him.

'Time stands still Beauty and all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What's standing in front of me Every breath, every hour has come to this'

He picked me up bridal-style as we walked down the aisle together. While he carried me down, I heard his family shouting Uso, which I found assuming.

'One step closer'

✧.* We were all outside on the beach enjoying the evening sunset. I saw the wahine ladies dancing, moving their hips back and forth, which I joined in, hearing cheers from everyone.

Jey and I were next to our cake as we cut the first piece together while the photographers took our pictures together. I fed him a piece of the cake, and he did the same with me, kissing me on the lips with a little bit of icing on our lips.

'I have died everyday waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more'

After doing that, I pulled Jey to the side as his eyebrows furrowed a bit before speaking. "What's up, mama?" He asked me.

"I have a surprise for you tonight for our honeymoon, so imma have to blindfold you for it," I said, with a smirk on my face.

"Ight then, baby," He placed a kiss on my cheek before leaving to see the guys.

That's when I heard my father tapping on his glass. It went silent for a moment before he started speaking. "I just wanted to make this announcement to my beautiful daughter Tiana and her husband Joshua, " he continued.

"I want to welcome you to the family, son, and thank you for taking my daughter out of that toxic situation with that nigga Malakai I'm glad she has you in her life right now she deserves the whole world like no other," My father said as he blew me a kiss while I did the same.

When Bianca and Montez came up on the mic, I just knew it was going to be emotional for the three of us.

"Well, I want to say congratulations to the newlywed couple but also to say that I am proud of my bestie. She has been through hell and back, especially dealing with that man she was with. If Montez and I didn't help her escape from him, who knows what could've happened to her? Tiana means a lot to me and Montez. I'm so thankful for Joshua. honestly, if I didn't tell her about your tattoo shop, we wouldn't be here today, honestly, but imma say this I TOLD YOU SO TINK!" Bianca said as I just rolled my eyes at her and threw up the middle finger at her.

As more people came up to the microphone, congratulating us and such, then here came Jonathan and Trinity on the mic.

"Yo! Uce I just wanted to say as yo' big brother I am proud you I'm glad you found your soulmate man it's so glad to see you smile," Jonathan said.

"Also, I wanted to say welcome to the family, Tiana! I can't wait for us to spend more time together and have girls' nights out," Trinity said as I kissed her.

Joshua's mother and father came on the microphone, tapping on it, making sure that it was on.

"I'm proud of you Joshua; as your mother I'm proud of the man that you have become and finding your soulmate that will ride for you forever...I'm not good a speeches but Tiana we welcome you in open arms to our family I promise my son will take good care of you okay? I love yall so much," Mama Talisua said I wiped the tears from my eyes with a napkin blowing a kiss towards her way.

It seemed like everyone was done speaking on the microphone, or so I thought. That's when I heard a familiar voice that I didn't even want to hear.

When I turned around, I saw his mother and Kehlani standing there with their arms crossed around their chests.

"You're such a pick-me-ass bitch! You stole him from me! And ruined Kai's life with your allegations," Kehlani said as I rolled my eyes at her.

'And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more'

'This bitch can't be serious right now?'

"Yeah! Now my son is in jail because of you! You ran off to get married to this idiot! He's not better than my son!" Mrs Jackson shouted.

That's when I heard Jey shouting, causing everyone to go silent, "Honestly, imma give y'all five fucking seconds to leave, or imma have both of yall asses dragged the fuck out of here! I'm not going to tolerate both of yall ruining something special for me and Tiana! All because y'all feel bitter about us! Whomp whomp! Now get the fuck outta here will allat bullshit mane!" Everyone didn't say a word. I'm not going to lie. It turned me on seeing him all worked up like this over me.

The security took them away as they screamed and hollered, trying to protest, but it didn't work. I walked up towards Jey, rubbing against his back as he looked up at me.

"Honestly, you look so sexy being all worked up, papa," I said seductively.

"Yeah? I can be more worked up in that pussy when we leave to your "surprise" mamas," He said in a deep and low tone.

It sends vibrations down my spine towards my pussy, hearing him say all of that to me.

✧.* OMNISCIENT Tiana and Jey finally made it to the private island, which was so beautiful even though it was far from where everyone else was.

She had blindfolded Jey so that he wouldn't be able to see. She walked him down from the boat, thanking the driver, and continued to walk him down towards the house.

"Mama, are we even there yet, girl? Got me out here like you kidnapped me and shit," Jey questioned her.

"Yes, Josh, we are here. Boy, relax. I'm finna take the blindfold off of you," she said as she took the blindfold off his eyes.

When she did that, his eyes widened, and he saw the sight of the island—it looked so gorgeous in his eyes—as he stared at her with a smile on his face.

"Tink, this is so beautiful, girl. Did you plan all of this for us?" he asked.

"Of course, love. I wanted us to have alone time together for our honeymoon away from everyone else," Tiana replied as she kissed him on the cheek.

'Ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh I love you for a thousand more Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh'

Jey scooped her up by the legs, carrying her bridal style towards the house, causing her to squeal. They both finally came inside the house, and Jey put her down while they looked around the house.

While they were looking around, Tiana went upstairs to look for something that Jey didn't know she had bought before coming down here. It was probably something that he wanted to do to her anyway but just never said.

Upon looking for what she was looking for, she smiled and went downstairs, seeing Jey sitting on the couch waiting for her. He looked up at her, tilting his head a bit, trying to make out what she had in her hand, spinning it around.

"Mamas, what's that in yo' hand?"

"What has something been on your mind ever since we've been together?" She questioned him.

He shrugged his shoulders before saying something, and then it clicked in his mind, and a smirk appeared on his face.

"Hm, how about I put those handcuffs on you and fuck you senselessly, yo' ass better not run from me either,"

SMUT WARNING Jey was beating her guts in along with having the fluffy handcuffs around her back, giving her left ass cheek a smack causing her to whine.

He pulled on the handcuffs digging his dick deep inside of her as she was moaning his name loudly it was music to his ears.

'One step closer'

"Fuckkkk Josh...fuckkk I-I C-can't," Tiana moaned breathlessly she couldn't escape without falling over the bed.

"Uh-Huh, mama you can take it, take all of this dick," He rasped as he continued to beat her shit in.

'I have died everyday waiting for you Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more'

She had her face smashed into the pillow hearing nothing but muffled moans and whines throughout all of this as he was beating the drums out of her gushy insides he grabbed a whole load of her hair pulling her closer to his warm body.

Tiana had her eyes rolling in the back of her head as her lips parted while Jey wrapped his hand around her throat firmly bringing his lips onto hers as they roughly kissed each other.

'And all along I believed I would find you Time has brought your heart to me I have loved you for a thousand years I'll love you for a thousand more'

Skins were slapping against each other, making a sticky sound as Jey continued to thrust his hips deeper inside of her, placing wet kisses on her neck.

"This my pussy mama? Hm? Looking so sexy with these handcuffs around yo' wrist," Tiana couldn't even comprehend what he just said as her mind went foggy from his deep strokes that she was getting from him.

Earning a slap on the ass causing Tiana to wince at the stinging sensation, "e tatau ona ou toe fai a'u pepe? ta'u mai o le pusi lea a tama," his Samoan language rolled of his tongue like fine wine.

"Yesss daddy this is all yours...you fuck me so good..." Tiana mewled weakly, gripping onto his mullet.

His dick stuffed her up so good it just made her go stupid as she began throwing it back onto him, which caught him off guard as he pounded into her matching her movements.

"Ouuu fuck mama...fai a'u ua nuti," He demanded, throwing his head back in pleasure.

"C'mon baby keep goin' fo' me, keep goin'" The way he was talking to her with his low and deep voice made her even more wetter than she was before.

Tiana didn't know how much she could take at the moment, feeling her toes curling as a pit went down her stomach, knowing that she was going to cream all over this man.

She wanted to break free from the handcuffs but couldn't as she continued to throw her ass back onto him.

Jey looked down at his perfect view of his wife's ass seeing her arch being aligned so perfectly, tucking the bottom of his lip in.

"Fuckkk Daddy...pleaseee," Tianna begged him as he slapped her on the ass.

"Please what baby? You finna cum?"

"Yesss! Please let me cum daddy I'm begging you," He loved the way she was begging for him so that she can cum all over him.

Her legs started to shake and become fragile while her whole body was laid out on the bed but did he care? No, he didn't care.

She felt his dick twitching inside of her, knowing that he was going cum, but she didn't want him to nut in her since they just had their baby girl, Gianna.

His movements kept getting sloppier and sloppier by each thrust he had given her driving her insane, that's when he put up the one leg up and one leg down combo on her ass hearing her moan his name loudly.

He had a satisfying smile on his face hearing her screaming his name for dear life, she felt tears coming down her face along with some of her drool that was coming from her mouth moving towards their pillow.

She was begging him to slow down, but he didn't listen, having that determination to get his nut. Grabbing her by the throat, drilling her gushy insides while gripping onto her hips tightly.

He put his lips on her ear before whispering, "Do you think you deserve daddy's nut, baby? Hm?" Tiana nodded her head, gripping her throat a little bit more tightly.

"Yes Daddy I deserve it I want it!" Tiana whined desperately as her body ache.

"Yeah? Lemme' put one in you then princess," at this point she didn't care they'll buy a plan b in the morning she just wanted this to be over.

Tiana let out a loud moan as she came all over Jey's dick, shaking uncontrollably and almost collapsing, but Jey caught her before she could.

After a few more deep strokes, he gave her. Jey filled her up with his warm seeds like a Twinkie while having a satisfying groan escape his lips before pulling out of her.

SMUT OVER.

Jey pulled out of her, seeing her collapsed on the bed trembling as he went to get the keys to the handcuffs. As he unlocked the handcuffs, she couldn't move an inch, so he picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and planting nothing but kisses all over her body.

Her body felt at ease, feeling his kisses and him rubbing her thighs. Jey gazed up at her, kissing her on the lips.

"You good baby?" He asked as she gazed down at him giving him a faint smile.

"Y-yeah, I'm okay probably can't walk for the next few days," she said as he chuckled at her before placing a soft kiss on her temple.

Her and Jey snuggled up in the blankets together admiring each other's features watching the sun seat.

"I love you so much Tink let's began our new chapter together," Jey pulled his pinkie out.

"I love you too bubba forever," Tiana said as she interlocked her pinkie with his.

Under Your Touch.

uceyjucey, trinity_fatu, biancabelairwwe, and others liked your post.

tianasworld: Mr and Mrs Fatu 09/20/2023 🥹🤍 uceyjucey: can't wait to be on this journey together mama I love you so much🫶🏼 tianasworld: @ uceyjucey I love you too bubba🫶🏼 biancabelairwwe: yall stop, yall is finna make me cry again bro trinity_fatu: I love you guys so much 🫶🏽 tianasworld: @ trinity_fatu We love you too rikishi: Love yall so much ♥️ jonathanfatu: I'm rooting for yall fr fr shelovesemma: I'm so happy for you guys honestly 🥹🥹

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tianasworld, jonathanfatu, MontezFordWWE, and others liked your post.

uceyjucey: Officially Married to my lover 09/20/2023😩🤍 tianasworld: we are in this together baby let's began exploring and learning new things together. 🫶🏼🩷 uceyjucey: @ tianasworld yes baby 🩷 jonathanfatu: I'm proud of you little bro you're now a married man 😀 uceyjucey: @ jonathanfatu don't start 🙄 MontezFordWWE: nigga is married nowwww thank you for coming into Tiana's life Uce. Bless Yall. 🤍 rikishi: ♥️ zillafatu: Maneee I'm so proud of you Cuzzo like fasho romanreigns: proud of you. ♥️ helovelani: this is fucking disgraceful this should have been me. uceyjucey: @ helovelani GTFO like respectfully it smells like you're bitter asf right now. 🙄 americannightmarecody: Proud of you Uce YEET! samizayn: I love to see it ♥️

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A/n: I'm not crying I swear like honestly 😭😭 but I want to thank every single one of yall for tuning into this story I wasn't expecting everyone to like it or enjoy it but I'm glad yall did honestly.

Now it's time for focus on my two new fanfics will be updating but I hope yall enjoy the final chapter of Under Your Touch.

Stay Ucey.

#jey uso #black writers #black fanfic writer #black oc #jey x oc black #wwelove #black reader #jey uso fanfiction #wwe fanfiction #jey uso smut

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