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blueparadis · 2 years ago

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❝ FIRST CODE RED ❞ !

( 𝐢 ) → f!reader, established relationship ( they're all married ), some flashbacks, suggestive, fluff & humor, mention of periods, sanitary pads, parenting, them being adorable dads. headcanon format plus scenarios about their daughter experiencing first time bleeding. characters include—sae itoshi, nagi seishiro, isagi yochi, bachira meguru.

( . . . ) → kudos to dawn for this. @lalunanymph-main . A small gift for her when she comes back. | redirect to blog navigation| tagging –› @tokyometronetwork @fueledbysano

⌗ SAE ITOSHI

Those teal restless eyes dance all around the house and then land on the wall clock. Although occasionally but Sae seems to lose patience with each tick of the clock, each breath growing longer than the bygone moment. He remembers being like this when his wife was in the washroom with a pregnancy testing kit while he was in another country, following another time in another country. He almost cried after his match, and still thinks it was for the victory and not for the positive news of her pregnancy.

And now, he has to sit in the lounge waiting for her daughter who just had her very first bleed. She thinks she got her mother's presence of mind for calling her first and since she was not able to pick up the phone Sae witnessed half of her daughter’s face through the opening of the washroom door, lips parting, and voice steadily asking for sanitary pads. His first instinct was to call her but his daughter quipped, “I already tried calling her. She isn't answering. Probably busy.” So, rather than scouring her cupboards for sanitary pads, he got them from the store, easier and faster.

“Are you feeling all right?”Sae asked with tension brimming all over his body.

She shakes her head, grabs a pillow places it over her belly saying, “um-hm. Just. . . just feel tired.”

“Alright, come here princess.” His daughter carefully walks in between the space of the tea table and the sofa while holding her father's hand as support. She glances at him, pouting, and then sits beside him for a while only to rest her head on his lap.

“I wish I could talk to Mama” Sae smiles at her confession running his palm over her head, caressing and saying, “I wasn't there for her so many times. Always busy with soccer and as such. When I heard that I'm going to a father over a text, all I thought of was to leave the game and come home. But she never complained. She said she's gonna come to visit me. ”

“Are you listening?” Sae asks since the rise and fall of her chest is long, relaxed and he could hear a low purr. “Ah! She missed the best part. ”

“Well this is a rare sight ”

“jealous?” Sae asked taking another cushion to rest her head on it.

She responded, “try again.” before emptying half of the water bottle.

Sae curls his hands around her waist and rests his chin on her tired shoulders murmuring, “She had her first period. ”

“Oh god. Oh my god,” She checked her phone. “I couldn't pick up the phone i was on the bus.” She was aware that her daughter was calling since she had different ringtones for her daughter, her husband, and her brother-in-law.

“It's okay. I took care of it. And was telling her about you”

“ about me?”

“um-hm. How you were so quick to convince Rin that he took the next flight with you and came to visit me. . . and when I saw Rin carrying your bags I was so jealous ”

“Ah! There we go again ” Rin exclaimed in a whispering audible voice throwing his hands in the air in disappointment, from the entrance of the room watching all of these unfold. Sae recoiled like a spring from his wife glaring at his brother, Rin who was being a major hindrance for all the hard work Sae did to get his wife a little in the mood.

⌗ NAGI SEISHIRO

The cash machine beeps making Nagi more nervous than before as he weakly taps his feet on the floor. He has never done this before, not for his girlfriend and definitely not for his wife. Sure, there were times when he witnessed other people buy sanitary pads, maybe even when he went out shopping for groceries with his wife, but never alone like this, standing at the apex of the queue waiting ( and being the center of attraction ) for that particular thing to cash out. Why does it have to be like this? He just came to the nearest grocery store to buy a few things and that is when his daughter called saying that he needs to buy a pack of pads too.

He hates it, hates the fact that he is not there for his family. Not enough. His daughter is alone in the house, god knows what's running through her mind and his wife is on her way home, stuck in traffic. Well, he is no better. He is stuck in a queue. Even though both of them were aware, they could not do much other than wait.

Somehow he thinks his daughter is tougher than him or the fact that she was aware of what's happening to her body. He is thankful that his wife taught her things at the right time and talked her out of it because some firsts can be terribly scary, if not adequately aware of it's happenings.

The cashier looked at him with surprise asking, “this pack has the same price. But it has wings. Would like me to switch? ”

He tilted his head taking both the packs in his hands mumbled to himself,“Do they make you fly or something? ” He looks up to the cashier noticing a tug on her lips that instantly pushes him into a hole of embarrassment. Why does he have to be like this?. “I’ll take both,” he comments and leaves as soon as the payment was done.

Fifteen minutes. It took fifteen minutes for her to freshen up and come out of the bathroom. The longest fifteen minutes Nagi has ever been through. He was on the couch watching TV, trying to and when he noticed his daughter walking towards him and then slouching beside her he couldn't help but chuckle. It reminded him of himself.

“Here, I brought these” he hands out a packet of ice creams and chips to his daughter. “Mama is gonna scold me for having these. I wouldn't be able to eat dinner for sure.” She protested while Nagi grabbed a juice from the packet exclaiming mischievously, “Who says you're getting scolded alone?” handing her a gamepad.

⌗ ISAGI YOICHI

When Isagi walked out of the store buying pads he did not think of the consequences of not picking her up after school for the past few days. It has been weeks since he picked up his daughter from school and sadly that is the only time he properly gets to talk to her, hear her smiles, and see if she is holding up alright or not. It is not like he did not want this, albeit he wanted this, he worked for this to build a home with her. Guess it really takes a toll on the child when both parents are working.

"All okay?" Isagi asked as he walked into the drawing room holding two bags in his hands.

"What is all these?" She asked throwing her hands up in the air, her voice keeping low as much as possible so that she does not wake up her mom. She came straight home when she saw Isagi's text; a text that conveyed that their little girl is now a big girl. And of course, with all the rush, nervousness, and work exhaustion she forgot to buy a fresh set of pads.

"don't worry. I did not forget to bring pads." Isagi said handing her one of the huge packets filled with different types and different brands of pads. He leans to take a look at his wife who was asleep seated on the couch with her head resting on her hand. "no wonder my calls and texts were not reaching her." Isagi carefully lays her down on the couch while his daughter grabs a pack of pads and heads toward the bathroom.

Something does not fill right by Isagi. It is Friday. His wife is supposed to be working late on Fridays but she is here asleep on the couch. He is supposed to pick up her daughter from school, not her. He is supposed to cook dinner for today yet she has been doing it for some Fridays. When did his home start running on fuel? like a factory .

His daughter walks out of the bathroom and halts in surprise in front of the kitchen counter seeing her dad behind the kitchen counter and chopping vegetables. "What?" Isagi asked while his daughter squints her eyes at him saying, "Did you fight with mama too?"

"Probably." and she chuckles at that.

"can I help you?" she chimes walking towards her dad, standing beside her peeking to see what was boiling. It smells nice.

"Only if you tell me what were you talking to mom while I was out..." Isagi says holding his fist out towards his daughter.

"Sure," she exclaims giving him a fist bump.

⌗ BACHIRA MEGURU.

From the moment his daughter told him that she had her first period he has not stopped googling, texting, or calling. It is back-to-back. His immediate reaction was to call her, his wife and luck seems to be on his side. At least he felt so when he heard her mellowed voice saying, "hello." And there it is. the calm in the chaos of his life.

He tells what happened and when it happened to ask where he could get pads, as in, if they're out of it or if he can find them in the usual place. Many times he has done that. She had told him where she kept the pads and he would bring her while she was still in the bath. So, it is nothing unknown to him, nothing to be freaked out about. He drags the drawer in gasping finding it empty. Of all the days, she had to run out of pads for today. So, he wastes no time doing the needful but the question is how? he has never bought pads before. He tried calling his wife again but it was all in vain, must be in a meeting.

Bachira can feel it, feel her stares on him while his eyes are glued on the stretch of selves that has different types of pads of different brands with different types. How does anyone manage to pick the best from all these options? He tried calling his wife again but the call beeps after ringing for a while. out of reach. He looked around totally clueless as he ran out of time. Luckily, one of the staff turned up asking questions. Questions like, "Does she goes to the bathroom a lot? Does she change her pants regularly? does she has trouble sleeping?"

And, how on earth Bachira could answer all of those? He does not know the answers to any of them, not that he is supposed to so he says that, very clearly, that he does not know because his daughter is having her first period and he is freaking out because her mom is not around her. . .So after the staff explains the benefits of various brands he picks the one that his wife uses. Phew! that was easy. why didn't he think of that earlier?

He calls his daughter letting her know that he is on his way home and if he should buy anything to eat since mom will be late today. "Ahhh... then I want some ramen, the one that we always eat," she responded before hanging up. She did not sound nervous but rather bubbly about it. Maybe the food lightened her mood. Bachira smiled since he was already standing in front of that Ramen shop where he used to take his missis once a month when they were still not married, when they were just seeing each other, when everything was so uncertain "She got her mother's spicy tongue." he texted to the number saved Y/N xoxo.

—

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gbukkii · 3 months ago

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plug Connie x black reader sum nasty smut and angst 🥰🥰

oh yes bby i got youuuu.

A/N: i haven't wrote any sort of smut since march so this might be kinda bad. other than that please enjoy :)

synopsis: you and connie have been arguing, leading to make up sex at a party.

tags: degradation, creampie, smut with plot, eye fucking, cunnilingus, p in v.

ＤＲＡＮＫ！；ｃｏｎｎｉｅｓｐｒｉｎｇｅｒ

"Babe, I'm done arguing with you," Connie said looking at you. You sat with your legs crossed on the shared bed you and your boyfriend slept on. Your bonnet was slightly crooked to the side with your back slouched.

"You're doing too much." He added as he stood at the foot of the bed looking at you like you were crazy.

Lately, you and Connie have been arguing over complete nonsense.

Yesterday you guys argued about him being out all night doing his work which consisted of selling the local population drugs. This morning you guys argued over who had to wash the dishes.

"Baby, I told you I would do them later after I was done with my deliveries." He softly explained to you. "I don't understand why you're so frustrated with me." He said, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.

"You don't understand?" You asked, mocking the tone of his voice. Connie sighed loudly as you said that; you were really getting on his nerves.

"You don't understand that your drug dealing impacts our relationship?" Your voice got a little bit louder as you spoke, you were growing tired of his absence. This relationship was feeling extremely one-sided.

"You know what I did before you got with me." He tells you, his voice is low as he looks at you in disbelief.

You were tired of this conversation. You get up from the bed and before you can walk past Connie he grabs your arm softly, not being too rough.

"Connie get off of me!" You snapped at him, pulling your arm away from his grip.

"Don't yell at me." He told you, his voice sounding more like a warning as he looked down at you with those big eyes that you adored so much.

It was hard to stay mad at him when he looked down at you like that. But, you were tired of him constantly making promises and leaving them empty.

"I need space." You told him, changing your tone of voice realizing that snapping on him wouldn't improve the situation.

When you said you needed space that pissed him off. "What do you mean?" His agitation visibly showed on his face.

"I need to be alone for a couple of days." You told him as you looked up at him, waiting to see his reaction. "Where the fuck are you gonna go?" He quickly said.

He was obviously mad.

Why do you need space over a stupid argument?

"So you need space because I told you to wait for me to do the dishes?" He asked you condescendingly, that tone really ticked you off.

"No, I need space because you don't have your priorities straight." You said as you started to put on your Crocs to leave the apartment.

Connie was looking at you too stunned to speak. You were actually leaving. "Where are you going? I don't care about all that other shit." He says, following your every move.

You rolled your eyes as he spoke. "I know you don't care, that's the point." You snapped as you took the keys to your car.

"I'll be at my parents, let me know when you have your shit together." You said before walking out the door, slamming it in Connie's face.

The moment you slammed the door in Connies face he backed up. He murmured something under his breath and then let out a sigh while scratching his head in confusion.

You giggled while being on FaceTime with some of your closest friends.

You haven't talked to Connie in a couple of days. You've been with your parents staying low.

"Y/n, are you going to Jeans' party?" Your friend Aliviya asked you.

"I was supposed to go," You softly told her while looking directly at your laptops camera. "But, now I'm not sure" You added.

Jean was one of Connie's closest friends, they grew up together and even did business with one another.

"Bitch, don't let your argument ruin your fun." Your friend Samantha said, your other friends on the call nodding their heads in agreement.

"You're coming," Aliviya said, leaving no room for an argument. "I'll come get you at twelve, that gives you plenty of time to get ready." She says before leaving the call. After Aliviya left, everybody said their goodbyes.

You closed your MacBook after everybody left the call, sighing while looking at yourself in the vanity mirror.

You got yourself ready. Blasting your favorite songs from your playlist to lift up your spirits, despite how much you hate to admit this; arguing with Connie was affecting you.

The knot-less boho braids in your hair touched your butt in the black, but classy party dress that you were wearing. You checked yourself out in the mirror before spraying tons of vanilla scented perfume.

You did one last spin in the mirror before grabbing your gold clutch and phone. When you checked your phone you saw that Aliviya had texted you, signaling that she was outside waiting for you.

After you put on your heels you left your parents house to see Aliviya's obnoxious car outside playing music, and of course, smelling like weed.

You entered Jeans house with your friends, the loud music practically making you deaf. The smell of alcohol and different strains of weed hit you like a ton of bricks.

Aliviya leads you to the drinks, quickly offering you something to get your mind off of things. To be honest, you needed it.

But, as soon as you took that sip of Pink Whitney you immediately spotted your boyfriend talking to Jean. You guys made eye contact, and you looked away in a heartbeat.

Connie then excused himself from the conversation he was having with Jean and approached you.

"So, you're gonna act like you didn't see me?" He pressed you while taking long glances at your curvy body. You shifted uncomfortably at his gaze, him looking at you was making you incredibly aroused.

Your cocky boyfriend takes note of this. "Who you wearing this for?" He said, pulling at the straps of your body-con dress. His eyes were on you, and only you.

"I'm wearing this dress for myself." You told him while trying to move away from him and his wandering eyes. He raised an eyebrow at your statement, he also realized that you were trying to move away from him.

He discreetly pinned you against the kitchen counter with his hands on your hips. You were looking everywhere but him, searching for your friend Aliviya but her tongue was down Jeans throat.

"Hey, look at me." Connie said, "You haven't looked at me since you got here." He pointed out, and it was true. When you did make eye contact with him you quickly looked away.

You didn't know if it was the tension from the argument between you, or the tension in your panties that was begging to be fucked.

When he said that you looked at him, your brown skin was glowing with rosy cheeks. Connie smiled at this, you were always so good for him. Listening to him, as you should.

"Come with me." He said, taking your hand and quickly leading you through the crowded house. After walking in on multiple couples in the rooms, you found an empty bathroom.

Connie wasted no time grabbing you firm, but gently on the neck and bringing you in for a deep passionate kiss. The kiss was slow at first, and then progressively got quicker and nastier.

Connie broke the kiss, placing his big tatted hands on your butt and lifting you up onto the sink. Your legs involuntarily opened for him, your body already knew the routine.

The song Swimming Pools came on. The lyrics were muffled but you recognized the beat.

Before you knew it, Connie was in between your legs taking off your panties with his teeth looking up at you the entire time. He teased you, kissing and licking your inner thighs slowly.

Without a warning he then began to fiercely suck on your clit, still looking up at you. "Oh my fucking god." You mewled, grinding your pussy impatiently on Connies face.

He then began to lick on your folds to the beat of the song playing throughout the house. You moaned loudly, letting Connie know that you were close.

But, you didn't deserve to finish. Not yet.

Connie abruptly stopped his licking, making you whine at the loss of friction. He brang his face out from between your thighs. He had your juices all over his pink lips.

He looked at your face, noticing the look of disappointment. "You think you deserve to cum after the way you've been acting?" He asks you.

He pulls you down from the sink, quickly not leaving you any time to complain. He bends you over so you were facing the bathroom mirror.

You hear Connie undoing his belt, and taking his thick and long dick out. He then grabbed you by the face.

"You're gonna look at me while I'm fucking you, understand?" You quickly nodded your head. You were desperate for him, all this arguing had you pent up and horny.

He let go of your face and then slapped your wet pussy with his hand, making you jolt forward and let out a tiny whimper before he stuck his thick digits in you. He was preparing you for the real deal.

He fingered you until you were on the brink of cumming, he then pulled his fingers out of your sopping cunt. You see him lick his fingers clean from behind you through the mirror.

Connie gently grabbed you by the waist, although he was gentle he still made it known that he had dominance. He led his big throbbing dick into you, letting out a moan as he bottoms out.

He looks at you through the mirror, making sure you were still paying attention and following his directions. He then started to move quickly and with a purpose.

He watched as the flesh of your ass connected with his balls. "Look at you, you're such a whore for me." He said through gritted teeth while he continued to look at you through the mirror.

Everytime you closed your eyes and didn't watch him, he roughly hit your g-spot making your eyes open with a moan.

He pulled you by your braids as he roughly fucked into you, he was leaving you a moaning mess. "Connie!" You moaned his name as you came closer to release.

"What baby?" He mocked as he continued to fuck you. He let go of your braids, moving closer to your neck while thrusting up into you. He began to kiss on your neck, feeling a little bit sorry for the way he was fucking you.

He felt you were getting tight around him. The knot in your stomach snapped, you came all over his dick. He continued to fuck you through your orgasm trying to reach his.

He smacked your ass making you moan loudly. That moan sent him over the edge, he came in you. Releasing all of his load and frustration into you.

You were both out of breath, you stood bent over the sink for awhile before Connie said anything.

"So, do I still have to do those dishes?"

#connie x black reader #connie x reader smut #connie x you #attack on titan #pussy eater #connie is a certified munch #aot fanart #aot x black reader #aot x y/n #i know connie dominican #que lo que papi

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landograndprix · 1 year ago

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「Feel the magic ๛ l.n」

part xii

✧.* triple header, triple podiums, and triple the love.

✧.* quick little filler before it kicks off. Foreshadowing? Maybe. More insight in the y/nlando household? Yes 🥰 getting to know girlie even better? Yes ❤️this is a psa for the people who wanted to be on my taglist but never got tagged, i didn't forget or ignore you, I simply am unable to tag you and therefore removed you from the list feel free to ask me again so I can take a look at it. Taglist is open Love ya ❤️

✧.* prev part - next part

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mclaren

liked by yourmumsuser, maxfewtrell and 253,678 others

mclaren front row locked in once again!

#imolagp

tagged: landonorris, y/nusername

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mcpapaya this team!!!! 🧡

johnson87 them sharing the sheets really works out for us fans huh

bott_ass you're so real for this

norry4 that's my team y'all 😭

sharllekler girlie really said I'm in a good mood, let me give my man a tow and then proceeded to take his pole away 😭

norrizz gotta keep him on his toes :')

marcusklein she's gonna make it up to him tonight

lanlan 🕯 lando p1 🕯

maxfewtrell absolutely mental!

teampapaya HAPPY MCLAREN WEEK 🧡🧡

y/nloveee can't wait to see my girl pull a max verstappen and win her 4th wdc halfway the season 🥰

ohnomeshoes no joke, bagging y/n might just be the best thing to happen to lando, man's is killing it on all fields!!

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y/nusername

liked by cecilemoulin, riabish and 672,652 others

y/nusername fam fam ❤️

tagged: landonorris

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hamilt44n once in a while y/n posts one of these fam fam posts and every time there's a new addition 😭

norrizz a new cat, dog and boyfriend 😂

yukisan I wanna live with you guys, pls, I know I'd be spoiled rotten

y/ngirlie bestie you're such a mom

alex_albon you're going to end up with more pets than us..

norry4 lando being accepted as a part of the family, my boy promoted to dad and step dad 🥺

cecilemoulin something tells me lando did not know about the goodest little doggie 😍

y/nusername unplanned parenthood

y/nlandooo girl stop, what's next, a goat? 😂

bobnorriz she already got a goat back at her parents house, two horses and one fucking duck 💀

y/nusername they didn't fit in my place here in Monaco unfortunately :(

bobnorriz girl get a farm 😅

carlandooo wait so you really adopted a cat back in Spain lmao

landonorris I'll find a cow in the living room next week

y/nusername don't give me ideas

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y/nusername posted to their story

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y/nusername

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 789,672 others

y/nusername España, un hogar lejos de casa ☀

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell, cecilemoulin

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mrsnorris 'home far away from home' and for what reason? Oh that's right..Carlos..🥴

chilisainz okay bestie, let's put you to bed..okay? You're talking shit again.

norrizz honestly, it's been a while since we last saw you..how have you been my love? Enjoying every single piece of y/nlando content we've had so far? 🥰

yukisan okaaay but that food looks amazing 😭

teamnotrell bunch of cuties enjoying their few days off :)

landonorris can't believe max got a girlfriend

maxfewtrell okay mate..

cecilemoulin I'm getting paid for this

maxfewtrell you're always bullying me and for what?

y/nusername I've got your back babes ❤️

maxfewtrell thank you ❤️

charles16 lando, y/n and Cecile podium this week? 👀

norry4 I love this little group of gremlins <3

landonorris love you muppet ❤️

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Feel the magic taglist: @celesteblack08 @mrsmaybank13 @cha-hot @judesgfirl @roseseraj @kissesandmartinis @jpg3 @amulhermaisfelizdomundo @marialovesf1 @silkenthusiasts @luvrrish @laneyspaulding19 @emily-b @buckybarnessweetheart @strawberrychita @iifloweringnightsii @buendiabebeta @babyvinnie @mishaandthebrits @hockeyboysarehot @ironmaiden1313 @justdreamersdream @dreamsarebig @angelfreckless

Lando taglist: @beatricemiruna @simp-for-fictional-people @landossainz @christianpulisic10

Everything taglist; @thomaslefteyebrow @hopefulinlove @smoothopz @honethatty12 @cixrosie @parkersmjs @ireadthensuetheauthors @celestialams @be-your-coffee-pot @heli991113 @kodzuvk @reality-is-a-con @80sloverry @bibissparkles @myescapefromthislife @lanando4 @elliegrey2803 @ravisinghs-wife @harrysdimple05 @minkyungseokie

#lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris x y/n #lando norris #lando norris x oc #lando norris fanfic #lando norris au #lando norris smau #lando norris imagine #lando x reader

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these-posts-arent-real · 6 months ago

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Time to catch up on your favorite dashboard simulator :3

#gonna start scheduling these for 1 or 2 per day #i really enjoy making them but I think i'll get burnt out otherwise #also HUGE ty to whoever was the anon who sent me the idea #about having therian cats #ohhh my god #hey anon #(or anyone else but im talkin to u) #feel free to dm me to talk at any point you seem cool

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🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

I PASSED MY ASSESSMENT!!! AAAAAHHH

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

OMSC CONGRATS MOOSE! I'm so happy for you!!!!

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

WOAAAHHH CONGRATULATIONS MOOOSEE!!! Have you had your name ceremony yet??

#im so happy for ya dude #moving on from apprenticeship </3 #gonna miss you in the 'apprentice things' tag

10 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow reblogged

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

Daily selfie !!!

Trying on some new berry-based fur dye.

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

The amount of cats commenting "you'll never be a she-cat" and "wearing fur dye won't make you female" is astounding. Like. Thanks?? I'm a trans guy not a trans girl...

#lol?? #this is so funny to me #trans

4,703 notes

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Ahh.. different type of post than usual, but.. mmrrnn... I'm considering coming out to my mentor. I know he's supportive, but I'm really nervous, so, uh.. I'm gonna leave it up to a Clanblr poll haha..

#trans #transmasc #trans tom #transgender #trans apprentice #advice #poll

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🤍 snwtl Follow

* ,○ ' WELCOME TO MY BLOG ^. o° ;

adult female cat - 49 moons - gender critical

Keep reading

#terfsafe #radfem #adult female cat #terf #riverclan

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🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

New neighbors have THE most annoying dog I've ever met in my life. Won't shut up about how that's her yard and to get back... nobody wants your yard Jackie, shut uppp...

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Since when do you speak dog????

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

I started picking it up when I moved to the twolegplace. I'm still not fluent, but I can hold a conversation with the neighborhood dogs if I want.

#every new thing i learn about kipper #just. wow #he is so coolll... #this is totally not the gender envy and parent issues speaking

2,851 notes

🔁 🌊 missingmyscales reblogged

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

The worst part about being a fox therian is that even when I am partially accepted, it's usually because cats are telling me how horrible foxes are, and how I should've "picked a different species" because they think that's how it works.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Imagine being a fish. In RiverClan.

The closest I ever get to "acceptance" is my friends joking about how I would taste.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

How does it feel to have to eat the thing your damaged brain thinks you are. Lol

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Frst off. "Damaged brain" like. Oookay guess we're just being really mean to others on Clanblr today. Second off ,I dont eat fish??? I never even implied that I eat fish.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

You're from RiverClan lmao. What else is there to eat

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

...

You are joking, right?

Lizards, birds, water voles and shrews, snakes, frogs, toads?? None of those come to mind when you consider the potential diet of a RiverClan warrior??????

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

@missingmyscales you should probably just block @lalala-bluegaze, her whole blog is about being anti-kittypet, anti-therian, not believing enbies or bisexuals/any other lgbt identity than lesbian or gay or binary trans is valid, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's not worth talking to her.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Ahh thanks... blocked her. I didnt think to check her blog beforehand

#sorry again for arguing on your post, Maple #saw a misconception ab RiverClan and blacked out lol

407 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass reblogged

🌾 barncat-vibes Follow

Good morning everyone <3 remember to eat breakfast and stay hydrated!

2,301 notes

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

#it difnr taste good euther :/

1 note

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

So I guess I'm just on this site now?? Clanblr is gone. I can't access any of its posts. But. I can see "Tumblr". Which is weird. The posts are really strange here.

#fakeposting #unreality #fake dash #fake dashboard #dash sim #dash simulator #dashboard simulator #dashboard sim #warriors dashboard sim #warriors dashboard simulator #clanblr #warrior cats

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multifandomwhore-003 · 1 year ago

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Random Hazel Callahan headcanons that have been rotting my brain for the past couple of days:

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x female! reader

Summary: Not needed

Genre(s): a little angsty at first, after that's it's just pure fluff

Warnings: mentions of trauma and maladaptive daydreaming

A/N: I'M GONNA WRITE MORE FOR HER BECAUSE I NEED IT SO STAY TUNED, also I listened to False God by Taylor Swift the entire time I wrote this.

Taglist: @aemonds-holy-milk , join tag list here

• She has horrible listening skills, usually her house has been a pretty noisy and chaotic place, even before her parents divorced, so she's learned to mute the outside world.

• It tends to annoy pretty much everyone else outside the fight club, the only exception being PJ, she perhaps got annoyed more than anyone.

• When you first noticed you had to repeat yourself at least five times whenever she was around, you tried to come up with different ways for her to keep up, like texting her as you spoke so she could read it as much as she needed to.

• Later on you found out it wasn't just about losing track of a conversation, as you asked to borrow one of her headphones one time, you were shocked her ears weren't bleeding right then and there.

"Fucking hell, Hazel! Are you trying to break your ears or something?" your ears hurt for a second.

"It's not loud at all" She placed them on her neck.

"Baby, I can hear the music coming out of those things like a concert speaker,"

• You decided to invite her over to your house as often as possible, demanding a no-headphones rule.

"Why not?!" she complained.

"Because you're gonna be completely deaf at the age of 40!"

"And you'll be there to teach me sign language, right?" she hugged your waist.

"You're saying you prefer not hearing my voice for the rest of our lives?" you lifted a brow.

• The realazation dawned on her.

• To this day she hasn't worn headphones a single day in her life.

• Maladaptive daydreaming is also something she struggles with, not as much now as she used to in middle school and the first two years of high school, but it still happens sometimes.

• You found out when you decided to surprise her by coming to her house one day

• Mrs. Callahan said she couldn't get in contact with Hazel, for whatever reason.

• Most likely her phone turned off since it was out of battery.

• So she texted you she was gonna be missing all night, permitted you to stay the night, and told you to take care of Hazel.

• You found her in the kitchen yelling, it sounded as if she was yelling at someone.

"Are you ever gonna choose me over a booty call?! How is it that Jeff's dick is more important than me?! Your daughter! You fucking pushed me out and you still can't even ask me how my grades are doing and shit!"

• Your first thought was —Her mom's plans must've been canceled—

• As you approached the room as quietly as possible, you looked through the rim of the entrance, there was no one.

"Hazel," you spoke quietly through her screams.

A shiver went down her spine, he face turned white, she blinked a couple of times before turnind her head, "How much of that did you hear?" she avoided your eyes.

"I've never heard you like that," was all you could mutter as you approached her slowly and then embraced her in a hug, "I know you're not insane by the way," you whispered in her hair.

She began to cry.

• She didn't want to talk about it for the next few days

• When she did, she stumbled upon her words, talked too fast, and teared up every once in a sentence.

"Call me first," you cupped her face, "I'll never judge you for whatever you have to say,"

• She wanted to kiss you right then and there, but just rested her forehead on yours, an act of ultimate intimacy.

• I could get into the divorced parents' trauma for hours because same

• But for now I'll move on to the happy part

• Physical touch is the absolute most pure form of love she can give

• If she's not hugging your waist at all times, she's holding your hand, resting her head on your chest, shoulders, legs, etc. pretty much everywhere she can

• If you have long or medium hair she'll attempt to braid your hair, keyword attempt

• If you have short hair she'll buy little elastic ponytails to tie them around your head everywhere she can

• Her reasoning behind this is that her favorite plants are cactuses

• That's it, that's all the reasons she needs

• If you happen to be bald she'll rub your head while singing the chorus to Diamonds by Rihanna

• She plays ukelele

• She knows how to make a few origami figures and if she tries a new one, as crumbled and sweaty as it is she gives it to you

• You have a whole shelf in your room dedicated to every piece of folded paper she's ever done for you

• If you're more of a fem! girl, she'll try something of yours whenever she comes over and stare at her reflection for hours

"Good thing, god didn't make me straight, she knew I would be a menace,"

• You can only roll your eyes and laugh at her twirling and pretending to dance ballet in your dresses and skirts

• If she happens to go shopping without you, she'll try something you'll like and send you the photo after

"If it looks this good on me, imagine how AMAZING it'll look on you,"

• She once asked you to put makeup on her, she'll say she was just curious how she'd look

• She wasn't lying, but she also didn't mention she just wanted to recreate this picture:

• If you happen to be more of a masc! girl, you'll trade clothes as often as you can think

• More than once you have arrived at school with something she likes and just drags you to the bathroom to for you to make the exchange

• It's not her clothes and your clothes anymore, everything you own is hers and vice versa

• More often than not you're no longer sure what used to be only yours

• This goes for accessories and shoes as well, even if they don't fit her, she'll fill them up with toilet paper until they fit just fine

• You'll match AT LEAST once a week, as per her request of course

• She tries all kinds of chips (or crisps for my British luvs) she has tried every flavor and seasoning, but her favorites and the flaming hot ones, even if she ends up chugging your waterbottle after finishing the bag

• Although her parents are rich and taught her from a young age to be a precise wine taster, she's a tequila and vodka girl

• She hates gloomy and rainy days because they bring down her mood, but spending the day binge-watching cheesy movies and stuffing her stomach with all the snacks o her house makes it up

• She's ABSOLUTE SHIT at Karaoke, but my god does she have the spirit

• Her go-to song is Lies by Fleetwood Mac, but if she's drunk enough to gain confidence she'll request Easy On Me by Adele

• If she insists for long enough and you decide to sing with her, she 100% will try to recreate the following musical numbers:

• Lay all you love on me -Mamma Mia

• Every duet there is in Teen Beach Movie, her favorite childhood movie

• The cellblock tango -Chicago and Ex-Wives -from Six, if the rest of the fight club joins as well

• Popular from Wicked, strangely enough, she's Glinda

• Seventeen -Heathers

• Candy Store -Heathers featuring Isabel as Heather Mc Namara, Josie as Martha Dunnstock, and PJ as Veronica (She was heavily forced to after Brittany suggested it)

• Smooth Criminal -The Glee cast cover

• If you're a good singer, or at least a decent one, at the end of the song she'll hype you up more than anyone in the crowd, even carry you (this also applies to my plus size! lovelies, DON'T YOU WORRY, she has muscles)

• If you're a bad singer, then you'll be shit together, the worse your voices sound, the better you'll enjoy it

• Onto the kissing and overall more stereotypical relationship stuff, aka the not-so-comfortable part of my asexual-spectrum girlies.

• As previously shown in the original material

• Kissing is slow and passionate, she likes to enjoy your lips as much as possible, taking in every movement, taste, and breath

• Hands on your jaw and neck EVERY FUCKING TIME

• The first few times you offered her some chapstick or lipstick, or lipgloss, or lip oil, or anything, she would kiss you making you chuckle in surprise

• Now you don't even need to ask, she'll just be like

"Hey, your lips look beautiful," and peck you on the lips

• If you're alone it definitely turns into a whole makeout session

• She just claims it tastes too good not to do it

• Every once in a while she'll hug you from behind and aggressively kiss your cheek

• Good luck kisses before every test

• Her favorite kind of dates are picnic dates

• She takes pictures of the sky whenever she feels it matches your vibe

• She takes A LOT of pictures of you ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, she even went as far as to buy a film camera because they make everything more magical

• She reads A LOT

• She obviously knows too much about social injustices and everything regarding that realm, but she likes other things as well

• Avid fantasy reader, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,

• Going back to this need for escapism, she was heavily raised by George R.R. Martin and Leigh Bardugo

• Definitely screamed, jumped, and overall looked like she was in a sugar rush when both Game of Thrones and Shadow and Bone came out

• She wasn't exactly allowed to watch Game of Thrones at the time it came out, so she watched when she was 16 instead

• Shadow and Bone, however, oh boy, it was whole event

• She cosplayed Sturmhond and made you cosplay as Zoya

That's it for now children, if I come up with anything else I'll do a part two or even better write something more complete

#hazel callahan bottoms movie #hazel callahan x you #hazel callahan #hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan fanfiction #hazel callahan fluff #hazel callahan angst

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baronessvonglitter · 5 months ago

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Cherry, Cherry 🍒 Chapter 5 🍒

"The Party & the Long Walk Home"

pre-outbreak! AU!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Word count: 3,853

Summary: Sarah tags along with you at a party, ending in a confession you never expected.

WARNINGS: 18+ Only! Mature and Explicit, underage drinking (reader --Sarah takes a small sip), drug use 🌿(reader), big ol' age gap (reader is 18, Joel is 35), kissing, some dry humping, reader has hair long enough for a ponytail and wears a skirt, reader's race not mentioned, no use of y/n

Series Masterlist

"I can't wait to go to parties," Sarah says as she leafs through a pile of clothes on your bed. You've gone through everything in your closet and can't find anything to wear. While you're frustrated, Sarah finds it fascinating. She doesn't have an older sister or even any close cousins to experience this with. Having no younger sisters yourself, you are pleased that she's absorbed in the intricacies of this level of life.

"You'll be going to parties soon enough," you tell her, watching with a sisterly care as she puts outfits together with her own style in mind. "Some of this stuff is kinda small for me now. You can have them if you want," you offer a couple of tanks tops and shorts, recalling the dates you'd gone on in those clothes, the trips to Astroworld, weekends in Galveston. You don't know when you'll do any of those things again, or if you'll have someone to do them with. Joel still looms large in your mind, your flirtatious teasing from earlier today still fresh on your mind. You want to see him again, but you're not sure how to instigate such a plan, but being neighbors is an advantage.

Then she asks exactly what you think she's going to ask: "Can I go with you?"

You shake your head. "Absolutely not. Your dad would kill me."

Sarah shrugs. "He doesn't have to know."

"Trust me, he'll know. Plus it's gonna be an older crowd. I don't think it would be safe for you."

Sarah's quiet, and when you look at her you see vexation in her expression. "Your dad trusts me with you," you explain. "And he's the last person I want mad at me."

"Do you like him or something?" Sarah asks suddenly, accusatorily.

You freeze while brushing your hair, keeping your eyes on the mirror at your vanity. "What, like.. what do you mean?"

"You like him. I'm not stupid. The pool party," she says, starting to count on her fingers. "You're always coming around, and when you look at him there's this stupid little grin on your face and you blush.. you have a crush on my dad and it's so weird."

You don't know what to say. In fact she's more astute than you give her credit for. "Sarah, I--"

"It's okay," she cuts you off with a wave of her hand. "I mean, most of my friends do. Have a crush on him, I mean. I'm used to it by now. And he doesn't look at my friends the way he looks at you."

Your heart both stills and pounds, the sound growing louder in your ears. "What do you mean?" You realize you're starting to sound like a broken record.

Sarah looks like she's said something she hasn't meant to. "Forget it. It's weird."

"It's not weird," you try to convince her.

"It is! I mean, I catch him staring at you sometimes, even just staring at your house like he's waiting for you to come out."

You try to keep your expression neutral, but you feel your face blush. "You're probably imagining it," you tell her to try to make her feel better.

She just shakes her head. "Maybe.. how would you feel if your father liked your best friend?"

"I haven't seen him since I was about your age, so I wouldn't know."

She gets quiet, playing with the little fairy lights that hang on your headboard. You get the feeling that she understands, in some way, what it's like when a parent goes away.

"We don't have to talk about your dad," you tell her. "I guarantee he's not interested in me that way. He probably thinks I'm way too young for him anyway." But now you're tempted to ask if he talks about you, mentions you in even the most mundane of conversations. You wish you could see yourself through his eyes, as cliche as it sounds.

Sarah watches you from the corner of her eye, and you hate to wonder what she's thinking, because maybe she's being protective of her father. Wouldn't you be? "This is the weirdest conversation I've ever had," she mutters.

This wrenches a little chuckle from you. "Yeah, me too."

She goes quiet again and you wonder just how deeply this unsettles her, because if it's not a big deal then why does it seem to dominate the room?

"I think he's kinda cute," you admit, as if that's all you have thought of him, as if he's an afterthought to everything else in your life.

A little smile appears, lifting the corners of Sarah's face. "Ew."

You finally decide on a belted denim mini-skirt and a baby blue halter top. You're a little out of your comfort zone of your usual graphic tee and cutoff shorts, but you also want to make a good impression. And, if Joel just happens to see me dressed up, that wouldn't be so bad. You clasp on a silver charm bracelet and swipe on a shimmery pink nail polish, Your hair is styled up, a casual ponytail with soft tendrils framing your face. Sarah helps you put this look together, and in this you have reset your bond of friendship.

You watch movies together at her place, hoping that Sarah will fall asleep first so you can leave without feeling guilty. The only other option is taking her with you to the party and, well, that's not really an option. You're halfway through watching The Blair Witch Project when Sarah goes upstairs. You assume she's getting ready for bed, and when the time Hailey has texts you she's here to pick you up, you get ready to leave, and Sarah comes out after you. She's dressed up similarly to you, looking older, more mature.

"What are you doing?" you ask at the same time she says, "I'm coming with you."

"Like hell you are!" You're shocked that she would even think of coming along. "I already told you no."

Hailey honks her horn as you and Sarah argue on the porch.

"Please! Just for a little bit! My dad's gonna be out all night, he's never gonna know! Please," Sarah begs.

You feel bad for even considering it. But you can't force her back inside. She's not a child, and you remember being her age. The party is just a few blocks away, and you can get a ride back. You'll think of something, you're sure.

"One hour, no more," you say sternly, and let her in the car with you.

At Hailey's, the music greets you first, loud, booming, making everything around you alive. Inside is full of people talking, laughing, dancing, drinking from beer bottles or red solo cups. It's old hat to you, but Sarah is fascinated, sticking by your side. "Just stay with me," you tell her anyway.

You lose Hailey, who joins another group doing shots in the dining room, and make yourselves at home in the kitchen, picking over the rest of Hailey's birthday cake. You consider this is the safest place for her. "It's kind of like what you see in the movies," she says, eyeing the bottles of alcohol and mixers on the counter.

You smile and pour her a soda. "Just pretend there's already alcohol in this and nobody will try to coerce you into drinking," you smirk. You pour one for yourself, and manage to sneak in a little rum when she's not looking.

The crowd is mostly people from Starbucks, and a few older people you feel are too sketchy for you and Sarah to be around. "I thought you said we could be here for an hour. Can we at least walk around?" she asks, as if reading your mind.

"Sarah, I really don't think--"

"Come on! This is probably the only party I'll ever get to go to," she whines, which is so unlike her.

"All right, fine," you pour yourself a little more rum and coke, and bring her to the garage where there's a game of beer pong going on, mostly guys cheering and cursing. You roll your eyes. "Interesting enough for you?" you playfully elbow her. "Just think: this is what I have to look forward to for the next four years." You bring her out to the backyard where most of the action is. Colored LED lights hang in canopy fashion between the trees, a large trampoline sits, empty, in the corner. "Jump?" you suggest to Sarah. She nods eagerly and you get on, downing your drinks and leaving the empty cups on the ground. You jump gingerly at first, testing the endurance of the trampoline, then you both start jumping, laughing, falling down, getting back up. You can't remember the last time you jumped on a trampoline. Your mother was always overprotective, so you never owned anything that could be counted as fun because she worried you'd get hurt. And now you revel in this feeling, this little rush of freedom. Nobody knows where you are, nobody has tabs on you, and you're pretty sure if you jump high enough you might just fly up to the stars..

Then it's interrupted when a couple of guys come up through the netting and watch you and her. Not that you're unfriendly, but you do have Sarah to look out for. "Can we join you?"

Sarah looks to you and you see the hope in her eyes. "Sure," you say, with an edge of wariness to your voice.

You stop jumping as they climb in, and when they sit, so does Sarah. You sigh and join them. It's still a little unsteady when one of you moves, making little bouncy waves on the trampoline. One of the guys pulls out a joint from his shirt pocket and lights it up, passing it to his friend after taking a puff. You look nervously towards Sarah. This is probably the best time to leave. "She can't," you tell them. "She's on probation. She has a parole officer and everything." It's a little white lie, and one you hope will A.) get them to leave her alone and B.) make her feel kind of cool with an older crowd.

"What about you?" The second guy asks, handing you the joint.

Just once, it's not like I haven't done this before.

Shrugging, you take it and inhale deeply, coughing a little as you exhale and pass it back to the first guy.

"Y'all new around here?" they ask of you and Sarah.

"We're here for the weekend," you lie confidently. "We're from LA."

"No shit? Cali babes. What are your names?"

"Shayla," Sarah says, owning it. "And this is my sister Diamond."

You try not to laugh. The alcohol and the weed are already getting to you. "Yeah. Same mom, different dads."

The guys give one another a look, and you don't know if they're buying your story or just laughing at it. "I'm Mike and this is Emilio," they introduce themselves.

You pass the joint between the three of you until it's done, and Mike brings out some apple brandy in a brown paper bag. This time you don't bat an eye when Sarah grabs the bottle after your sip, and you burst with laughter as she takes a drink and coughs, dismissing her future turns.

Not long after, you're all laying on the trampoline, staring up at the night sky. The stars are numerous, like diamonds sprinkled upon dark velvet. Mike and Emilio are nice, not flirtatious, and respect the boundaries you've put up from the get-go. There's a nice, buzzy feeling in your brain and in your heart. Next to you, Sarah reaches her hand out and you hold it.

"It's been more than an hour." Her voice sounds sleepy.

"Hmm? Oh shit." You pull out your phone and look at the time. "It's almost midnight, Cinderella. Time to leave the ball." Your voice sounds odd, and you feel your heartbeat in your ears as you get up. The bouncy movements of the trampoline make you dizzy. "Ready?" you ask her.

There's a commotion from within the house, and people are rushing outside to the patio. "Cops!" someone shouts, and you and the others are alert. "Shit! We've gotta get out of here," you tell Sarah. The guys are already gone, having leapt over the fence and into a neighbor's yard.

You and Sarah follow some people going through a door in the fence, it leads to a darkened area near the highway. Beyond there are lights for hotels, gas stations, and fast food restaurants. "It's too dangerous," you tell Sarah. But can you go back? You take a right, going into the grassy area beneath an underpass, and hear footsteps following you. You know it's not the cops but in your paranoid state you can't be sure. Your grip on Sarah's hand remains tight.

A few of the partygoers, including yourselves, split up, some going towards the lighted areas, but your neighborhood is the other way. It's dark, little traffic, but that doesn't mean it's safe. You follow the highway until it reaches an exit into a more residential area. In your inebriated state you focus harder on recognizing the landmarks. There's a motel, and an all-night restaurant next adjacent. "This way," you tell Sarah, and walk together, trying to stay under the streetlights and out of the shadows. You're out of danger of being caught or arrested, but you still have to make it home. "Shayla and Diamond?" you repeat, recalling the names Sarah had given yourselves. "You had to give us the most stripper-like names, huh?"

Sarah grins. "If you're gonna give fake names, they'd better be good ones."

You pass a few businesses and come up on a bar, with loud rock music blasting as people went in or out. Not a safe place, so you hurry, even though your feet hurt and you desperately just want to sit and take a rest. The world is spinning and you feel like you might fall off. "We make a right here, and then we're just a few blocks from home," you sigh, already dreaming of falling face-first onto your comfortable bed.

"I'm sorry I was such trouble," Sarah says quietly as you enter the dark neighborhood. Dogs bark in the distance, crickets chirp loudly. "I just wanted to go out for some fun.."

"Some fun we had. Party got busted, we almost got in trouble. Your dad would have had a heart attack if he'd had to come get you from the police station."

"Promise you won't tell him?" Sarah's eyes are wide, innocent in the light of the moon.

"Promise," you say, with as much of a smile as your tipsy/high/tired self can give.

You've spoken too soon.

Behind you a truck flashes its high beams and you both turn. You're walking on the sidewalk, so there's no reason for anyone to do that. You both ignore it but he speeds up to catch up with you.

"What the hell's your problem, asshole?" you shout, freezing when you see the driver.

It's Joel.

And he looks pissed as hell.

Your brain races to think of something to say, but in an instant he reaches over to unlock the passenger door. "Get in," he commands, and Sarah dutifully gets in first, followed by you. The bench seats allow you to sit all together, and even before you've closed the door behind you, Joel takes off. It's dead quiet until he speaks.

"What the hell were you both doin' out this late?" His question is aimed at you. You're the adult. You should know better.

Sarah cuts in. "It's my fault, Dad. I made her take me to this party," she says.

"Bullshit! You have no business bein' at a party this late, dressed like a-- like a slut," he utters this last line with a glance in your direction and you want to crawl into the earth. You pull up your halter top and put your arms over your thighs to cover yourself from his accusatory gaze.

"Dad, you have no right to say that!" Sarah sticks up for the both of you.

"You're my daughter and I won't have you puttin' yourself at risk like this. Now tell me the truth: where were you? Did you drink? God damn it, did you do anything else?"

"She didn't," you cut in. It's a lie, because Sarah had that one experimental sip of brandy, but you don't feel bad about this little white lie. "She was safe with me the whole time. The party got busted and we made a run for it. That's the truth."

Joel shakes his head. "I never expected this, not from you."

You feel shame like a poison in your veins. You want to cry.

The three of you remain quiet the rest of the ride home. Joel's anger, his disappointment, weighs down the air, makes the atmosphere heavy. You feel nauseous.

He pulls up to his own driveway. "Sarah, go inside. Wait for me in the living room. We're gonna have a long talk,"

Sarah, with a despondent look in your direction, gets out as you scoot over. She goes inside the house and you make your way out too until Joel calls you back.

"Me and you ain't done."

Your heart is banging in your chest and you get back in. You've never dealt well with getting in trouble. For the most part you've walked a straight line, maybe done a few things you shouldn't have, but never have you gotten someone else in trouble with you.

"I'm sorry," you whisper when he takes forever to talk.

"I thought I knew you better. Thought you had a good head on your shoulders." Joel's voice expresses his disappointment, tinged with anger.

"It was a mistake. It won't happen ever again. I--" you shake your head, on the verge of tears.

He sees you start to cry and he sighs, trying to collect himself. "Don't cry. It's just.. you know why I'm real fuckin' mad, don't ya?"

You nod. There's hope in your chest that you'll be let off the hook. But you never can tell with Joel.

"I'd be mad too. You have every right to be mad. Just.. don't be mad at Sarah. Take it out on me." You're leaning close to him, your eyes begging for leniency. "Leave her out of it, she's a kid. There were many ways out of this and I didn't take any of them. It's my fault alone, and I'm sorry."

He's looking down at his lap, his profile lit up by the streetlight that stands between your house and his. "Joel?.." Something in you is brave when you scoot closer to him, and it all becomes a blur as you gently turn him to face you, and your lips touch his cheek.

His beard is a little rough, and feels exactly as you'd imagined it would beneath your kiss. You feel him tremble, and as you pull away his eyes open to take in the sight of you. He whispers your name as he cups your face in his hands, all his anger gone, replaced with something new. His breath shudders as he moves his touch to your arms, your sides, fingertips lightly skimming over the bare skin between your top and your skirt. You make a sound of surprise and need, and when he hears it he brings your lips to his in a crashing kiss.

Your heart throbs as you eagerly lean into his kiss, and he grabs your waist, pinning you to straddle his lap. His tongue explores your mouth as he cups the back of your head. He tastes like beer and cigarettes, and when you suck on his tongue he emits a deep groan, shifting his hips upward against you so you can feel that he wants you. You rub yourself against the hardness in his jeans, giving little gasps, searching for a way to alleviate the ache that's built up inside you. He grabs your ass as you move, guiding you over him, lifting your skirt until his fingers find the edge of your panties.

It's going to happen! It's finally going to happen! Your brain rejoices, but just as you're about to tell him you want this, he pulls away, gently removing you from his lap. He leans back in his seat, hands covering his eyes, taking deep breaths.

"Joel, what's wrong?" you ask in a small voice.

"FUCK!" his hand slams the steering wheel. He takes another deep breath, not looking at you. "We can't do this."

"What-- why not?" You feel shameful suddenly, like the slut he said you were dressed as just ten minutes before.

"You need to get out and go home. I'll talk to Sarah about this, but you and I need to forget about.. this."

You're so ashamed you could cry. "What did I do?" you ask in that same small voice.

"I just.. can't, sweetheart. We can't."

"I don't know what you think of me, but I've never.. I never have.. I'm a virgin," you practically whisper.

Joel gives a bitter laugh and runs his hands through his hair, eyes closed in longing. "Baby, that ain't makin' things any easier."

"So you don't want me."

"Sweetheart, you're beautiful, you're funny, you're smart, I like you a helluva lot. Of course I want you. You felt how much I want you, right?"

You nod.

"We've both been drinkin', and I'm pretty sure you're a little high right now. I can't take advantage of ya. I won't. As much as I want to be the first to bury my cock into that tight wet pussy, I fuckin' won't take advantage."

Your heart skips a beat, hearing him say these things, and your cunt throbs in response. But you don't know what to say.

"I'm sorry, but you gotta walk yourself home. I don't trust myself around ya, not right now," he says.

You shake yourself out of your fantasy and nod again, rearranging your clothes as you get out. The taste of him is still on your tongue, you can still feel his large, rough hands on your skin and his clothed hardness rubbing between your thighs. Even if you never see him again, this is all you will think about for the rest of your life, ever.

"Good night, Joel," you say softly, getting out and closing the door behind you. Shivering even though the night is warm, you hold yourself as you walk to your house, unlock the door and get in. Lights off, you peek through the windows as you watch Joel finally emerge from the truck. For a moment he goes towards his own house, then changes his mind and heads directly to your door. You gasp as you see him start to come up the porch steps, then he forces himself to turn back, walking resolutely to his own house, door shut for the rest of the night.

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dividers by @saradika-graphics 👑

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sugar-omi · 9 months ago

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How do you think everyone would react if cove and mc got pregnant at 18? Like the reason for them being engaged so young is because they are expecting

tags : Angst, headcanons, fem/afab reader, pregnancy

[part 2: cove finding out you're pregnant]

CLIFF

cliff would be.. he'd have the same feelings he had when kyra got pregnant with cove

he'd be scared, but happy because it is an exciting thing that a lot of people wish to hear one day!

but as cove's dad, he'd first be disappointed just because he never would've wished such a struggle on anyone at such a young age, especially his own son.

doesn't bother getting angry, because what would that do? it won't make you un-pregnant and it'd just make cove (and you) mad at him or upset, since of course you already know it's not an ideal situation.

when he realizes that you got engaged because of the pregnancy though, he tries to have a talk with cove.

he knows how much you two love each other, but he also knows from experience that this just doesn't work.

i think that'd end up in an argument, because even though cove and cliff have a better relationship than before, 5-10 years doesn't erase all the hurt from back then

cliff might end up saying something like "you don't want to end up like me and your mom" or even worse, "you shouldn't mess up your future."

all that would upset cove so much... because does he think that cove was a mistake? is that what he's saying? is he saying that you and cove would fail miserably? either way. they aren't thinking clearly, and cove already has a lotta feelings about how he was born, let alone conceived.

cove would probably end up saying something (a bit) hurtful like "i would never end up like you and mom." , "i would never marry MC if i didn't know it'd work. unlike some people, i'm not gonna make my kid listen to us argue and then try to play happy family." , or "trust me, my kid won't end up with a childhood like mine." / "trust me, my marriage won't end up like yours."

is it very ooc? probably. but everyone has the ability to say something hurtful, and when you experience something traumatic like your parents fighting, or knowing the circumstances of your birth, you have a lot of thoughts and feelings...

he does end up apologizing, but cliff probably ends up apologizing too since, again, they both probably said things they didn't mean

after that, things get a bit better. there's probably a lot of emotional conversations after that, just to get everything off their chests. hell we might even need family therapy, just to smooth things over before your baby gets here...

KYRA

now kyra... mmm i think this is where her awkwardness comes in. remember how she says she felt more like a cool aunt than his mom?

i think this is where kyra gets close to you, tries to offer you support and helps you through all the changes of pregnancy

she's mostly afraid for both of you. doesn't want you to try and slap a bandaid on this with marriage, kinda like how her and cliff did...

although i do think she was first angry when the news dropped. she really thought that you and cove, cove especially, would be more careful considering everything...

but the distance between her and you guys makes her sit on it for awhile, she does calm down and realize that you're just in the same position she was in, and are likely scared but doing your best...

calls both of you separately, just some a little one-on-one time and a heart-to-heart.

asks if you're really sure if you wanna get married, of course she expects you two to be sure about it, you two haven't gotten tired of each other yet and you're about to be intertwined in every way possible

reminds you that marriage is all about communication. and when you're raising a kid especially, and patience! also knows how much you love each other, and tells you to make time for yourselves and your relationship.

PAM & NOELANI

i instantly knew they'd be mad.

remember how pam worries in step 2 that cove is bad news? i think in her anger, ends up saying something like, "i knew something like this would happen." "i told you he was a bad influence."

yknow i've always wondered how cove would feel if he knew pam thought that about him, and i think in this situation, it'd hurt him a lot, and it'd open up a new can of insecurities and doubts.

starts worrying that he's holding you back, bringing you down... but we can get to that later

noelani tries to keep pam calm, does chastise her for saying that in front of you, especially if cove is there.

noelani is so disappointed, and you can see it so heavily... she'd sigh, mumble something- probably about how she "cant believe it...", covers her face with her hands..

she definitely asks, "how could you let this happen?" she really trusted you to make smart decisions, and even if this was a really big accident (like the rubber broke), she still didn't expect it n can't stop being disappointed

it takes them a few days for them to relax. this news had them totally spun and their emotions jumble up whenever its brought up or they think about it

they know being upset is gonna make it better, and if you're still living at home, they can see how sad you are, which helps them cave in. even if you don't whenever you call, they can hear how sad you are, or maybe you're texting less, whenever you visit your energy is lower than usual...

to start with, just to get out the way, they reassure you that you don't have to get married, that you shouldn't do something you guys don't want to, that you can be parents just fine without marriage

feels better when you insist you're not doing it just for the baby, i mean, not much. but you're insistent, and if you found out you're pregnant after getting engaged, they just have to trust you.

they also have to trust cove when he says he's gonna take care of you and the baby.

they knew cove is always very sincere and determined, even if he hesitates at times, but when he's set on something, he does it, so even though they're not happy about the situation, you're flying the nest now, and hitting milestones at a young age so all they can do is support you

and if noel does have a bit too much fun helping you set up the nursery, don't say a THING!!!

all the parents do make you sit down and explain your plan, who's going to work, who's watching the babe, if you're still going to school... all that. it's not that they aren't going to help you, but are you ready to take on the responsibility for your baby?

LIZ

liz is super worried for you, and cove too actually. you're her little sister/sibling, she still sees you and cove as kids in some way, and she still preens when you come to her for help...

the news just makes her head spin, but her first question is if you're okay, n if she's at home, she gives you a hug, lets you cry if you need it.

and this is also where her (protective) big sister energy comes in.. she hates seeing you sad when your moms are still heavily upset about the news

she tries to be there for you as much as possible, and especially if the first trimester is really rough on you, if cove isn't by your side then she is.

doesn't bother lecturing either of you. whats the point? all of your parents have already chewed your ears off, and it's not like you need any more stress or worry, or need to know that there's someone else disappointed in you/cove

i was going to say she'd give cove a stern talking too about being their for you, but she realizes she doesn't really need to do that.

tells him "i'm sure you'll be a good dad" maybe even, "well, i guess this was gonna happen one day anyway.." and that you're lucky to have him.

although after all those comforting n reassuring words, she does slap him on the back and remind him not to hurt or fail both of you, least he wants to feel her wrath. :) (she's a protective auntie already <33)

tries to keep the energy up by being excited for the baby, or by distracting you with some bonding time w your amazing older sister<3 makes jokes about being the cool aunt, when the times right ofc. she's really just trying to distract you, which works sometimes more than others

LEE

the phone is SILENT. which is really scary coming from lee...

she does speak eventually, asks if you're gonna keep it, what're you going to do, and depending on how you word the news, if cove is there to tell her, or if she's already heard some of the news from the rest of the family, she'll ask if cove knows

she tries not to ask too many questions, because she doesn't wanna upset you or seem insensitive

i think she's really lost on what to do. your and cove's parents have already done all the lecturing, and worrying over each detail...

so she just offers you comfort. or a distraction.

really, her reaction is based off yours, because if you're excited, then so is she! but if you're really sad and/or stressed, then she's subdued, tries to figure out how to help you even though she's not close by...

in fact, her and liz would plan a "girls trip" for you. just to distract you, help you feel better. it's nothing big, just 2 days in the city and you spend most your time going from shop to shop and different restaurants and cafes.

their energy keeps your spirits up, but if you're not up for all that, or even if you're tired of all the running around after the first day, they set up a nice "sleepover" in the hotel room and you only get one noise complaint!

both of them definitely reassure you that if you ever need a break, you can trust them, amazing and cool aunties lee and liz, with the babe (spoiler: you can, but just know you're interrupting many 'a tea parties when you come to pick up the babe)

DEREK, MIRANDA , TERRY, & BAXTER

their eyes fell out their head.

in fact, terry spat out his drink, like projectile spray... and derek is having an outta body experience probably, definitely dropped whatever he was holding.

baxter too, he's taking a sip of his coffee and when you tell him, he chokes a bit, squeezes the cup n now he has coffee on his pants... he's shocked as hell

i hope you didn't tell them in a public place btw, because terry definitely yelled out "you're pregnant?!" and now everyone in sunset bird/wherever you are who didn't know.. knows.

terry isn't sure whether to tell you congrats or not, is very very confused, says congrats but then starts rambling out loud about what if you're not excited, what if it's a bad thing... all that

and miranda too, offers a careful congrats and then says "um.. that is a good thing, right? i mean, it's okay if not!" and yeah you've broken them..

if you reassure them it is a good thing. well, as good as it can be really. then they relax

derek rambles off all his concerns, asks if you're really gonna do it (raise the baby)

and then starts rambling about how hard it was taking care of his brothers... is quick to remind you that it was fun! and he loves his brothers! and that you'll be great parents! and maybe your baby won't be as rambunctious as niko was as a toddler!

just offers you good wishes, and if you ever need help, call him! he's a expert at handling his brothers, so he might know a thing or two. unless it's genuine parenting advice then.. call his mom or dad, or yours, haha

now baxter... well assuming you told him you were engaged before he left, or even if you imagine all this happening while he's here, he doesn't have much to say

he's just a stranger after all, even if you befriend him quickly, he doesn't have much to say to you

he tries to contain his surprise, and he first asks if you're excited, then he offers his congratulations and says you two will be great parents and that the kid will be very loved by everyone.

after seeing you two around the neighborhood, and your getting to know your family and friends a bit, he doesn't worry about you guys too much.

even though he knows teen pregnancy isn't ideal, he does know your kid has a happy life ahead of them, and that you have a lot of support n love around you, and that you and cove will work hard to be good parents, so he doesn't worry for you too much

i'm tempted to say you or cove would find a unnamed flower or gift basket on your parents doorsteps, or maybe he even brings a very early wedding/baby gift since he knows he won't be around, but i'm not sure... although i think that's kinda a baxter thing to do

but now if he found out later in step 4, he'd be surprised by the news (and seeing that you have a kid already) but he'd just tell you he's happy it's all working out for you, and that your kid is very adorable and you have a lovely family

#olba #our life: beginnings & always #cove holden #cove holden x reader #angst

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haesunflower · 2 years ago

Text

xdinary heroes reaction to receiving flowers

genre: fluff

pairing: reader (mostly gn) x all members

about/tags: xdh reacts to you buying or giving them flowers

established relationship, bullet point reactions, lowercase is intentional, this is my first work for xdinary heroes, afab for gunil's, i had to google what each flower represented, sorry for inaccuracies, dedicated to requester @snowflakemoon3

⠀⠀ gunil ⠀⠀

gunil is a whiner

so one day when he complains that "don't you think it's kinda misandrist that only women get flowers most of the time"

you think that's a direct jab at you because he does in fact, get you flowers all the time

on your next date you order sunflowers for him

it arrives via delivery and when he opens the door, he kinda smirks

"finally, i'm being appreciated around here" (jokingly)

he places the flowers in the vase you usually use

later on you find out he saved the petals of the sunflower in a ziploc bag

you teach him how to press and dry flowers for preservation

when he sees your collection of dried flowers from all those times he gifted you, he's so touched

looks at you like you're his whole world as you continue to demonstrate how to do it

⠀⠀ jungsu ⠀⠀

jungsu talks about getting plants for his room all the time but never actually does

so you bought him a pretty orchid to place on his windowsill

he loves it and takes care of it really well

he once read that plants have feelings

so he spoke to the orchid every night, pretending like the both of you were its parents

one day you caught him singing to it

"since when did you start giving private concerts to the plant, jungsu?"

"shut up. water your child, it's dying"

and you're just like??? but you do it anyways

taking care of orchids together become your shared hobby

years down the line, jungsu makes sure the flowers at your wedding are orchids

⠀⠀ gaon ⠀⠀

you were on a picnic date at a meadow

gaon made all this effort to set the date up, even making (which you start to suspect that he actually just bought) all the food you were currently eating

you felt kinda bad, as you didn't prepare anything (well to be fair this date was a surprise)

so while he was setting up the picnic basket earlier, you took the liberty to venture

you found a small wildflower bed full of marigolds and daises

you gathered the brightest and prettiest ones, the ones that best resemble gaon

so when you tell him "close your eyes I have a surprise for you"

and he opens them he's genuinely surprised that it's flowers

his heart goes like awwwww

but ngl he thought you were gonna plant a kiss on his lips

"I can do that as well, jiseok"

he got the kisses and the flowers, it's a happy day for him

⠀⠀ o.de ⠀⠀

"are those flowers?"

he stares at the meal your prepared him, edible flowers prettily arranged on top

you spent the whole day cooking for your date and bought edible flowers to decorate the salads

he's in awe because he's never tried it before

neither have you, so you're hoping it tastes okay

when you both sit down and take your first bites

seungmin says "babe is it me or it just tastes like plants"

"i sure hope so, because it is indeed, a plant"

"right".

you both just sorta stare at each other then laugh

he reaches for your hand across the table to bring it to his lips

"thank you for the meal babe, i love it"

he kisses your hand with such sincerity you want to cry

⠀⠀ junhan ⠀⠀

there was an old lady selling the last of her roses for the day by your university

they weren't anything particularly special, but they were individually wrapped so prettily you couldn't resist

she told you they'd wilt soon, so she's giving them at half the price to students

you decided to buy a red rose to give to junhan

as you stopped by his dorms, you found him strumming on his guitar

you jokingly threw the flower at him and said "bravo, encore encore!"

he picks up the flower and puts it in between his lips and bows, going along with the bit

you both laugh at each others' antics

junhan is goofier since you came along

⠀⠀ jooyeon ⠀⠀

jooyeon has received flowers from someone he personally knew in his life exactly 3 times

when he graduated high school, his debut showcase, and his first concert (all came from his parents btw)

so when you visit him in the inkigayo green room with a bouquet of brightly colored carnations he doesn't even think that those are for him

"huh, who gave those to you?"

"it's for you, jooyeon...."

and he's all confused like "what, why?"

and you're also confused as to why he's confused like? "congrats on your comeback and new mini-album?"

jooyeon takes the bouquet and smiles at the message you wrote

"to my favorite rockstar, jooyeon"

every time he made a comeback or released a new single, you would send him different flowers

in return, he places a kiss on your forehead

A/N: when i got this request i knew i just had to use the gaon flower pictures!!

btw to those that don't know, i take requests for other groups including nct, svt, xdh and of course zb1

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა

✎ mobile masterlist

✉︎ request

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mioyeo · 1 year ago

Text

Watch your back: Chapter 8

Once you don’t value what you have someone else learns how to take care of what used to be yours

Synopsis : 8 men supposed to give her all the love they promised end up leaving her behind without a valid reason

Pairing : girlfriend Reader x PolyAteez !

Warning : this chapter contains mentions of, arguing with Rin , missing deceased parent , lots of crying , confessions ( at the end ) , miscarriage , uncontrolled drinking of alcohol, Hongjoong being a big liar , Y/n looking a mess , jumping off a cliff etc Please reminding me if I forgot something

Tag list : @legbouk , @scarfac3 , @m4rsluv , @hcyaa , @jackinmyarea, @layzfeelit, @loverlele , @mulletjoonsupremacy , @veneziamadness , @belle643 , @gugggu6gvai , @atinytinaa , @voidcupidz , @atinyreads , @baguette-atiny , @parkthothwa8 , @hwadump , @owjohny , @miaatiny , @honeyymon

Word count: 2,2k

Y/n was currently at a Donation center where she'd be donating all the clothes she once had bought for her now lost child to the first time mommy's

It was nerve wrecking for her to see all the Young mothers and their babies while she wouldn't be able to hold hers anymore

" It's alright , you're doing the right thing "

The elder woman smiled rubbing her back encouraging her to deliver the box to the other ladies that where checking out the clothes conditions

" It's just that I felt overwhelmed kinda "

She smiled softly and finally got the courage to hand over her box and leave after saying goodbye

As the girl walked along side the road , tears suddenly fell from her eyes automatically making the ones passing her pity and ask themselves why she was crying on such a beautiful bright sunny day

They wouldn't understand if she tried to explain how hard it was to let go of the things she bought while being exited

Not the typical excitement because she was gonna be a mommy

But the excitement because she'd have someone to love dearly and nurse them until they left her to love someone else just like they where loved by her

Y/n wiped her tears chuckling at the thought that she probably looked insane crying and laughing at the same time

" Y/n ! i haven't seen you in a while my dear "

The market lady She frequently visited for her amazing fried chicken shouted waving her over as she smiled

" Oh my , I'm so sorry I haven't passed by lately I've been going through some thing's but I'm getting better now "

She smiled hugging the lady that immediately kissed jher cheek and stuffed her mouth with some chicken making her smile

" I've missed you too Mrs.Kim "

She chewed on the food before waving and left after they had a small talk

Going up the stairs she put in the code and walked inside her home taking off the shoes

" Where were you ? "

Hongjoong asked as he was sitting on the couch with San that didn't even look at her

“ I went to Donate the clothes I had bought for little Sanie to first time mommy's that couldn't afford to buy clothes or other stuff for their newborns "

She smiled softly and sat down beside him

" I'm proud of you for letting go "

Hongjoong said smiling sympathetically

"I had to do it sooner because I didn't want to create an unhealthy attachment with the things so I donated them "

She laid her head on his shoulder as he kissed her forehead

" Where are the others anyway? "

" They left to do groceries and Jongho went to get his teeth checked with Mingi "

She grimaced just thinking about the pain

" Also we are having dinner with our parents to finally introduce Rin to them "

Y/n looked up at him with brows furrowed

" So get dressed up because Yeosang's Mom insists for you to come since she hasn't seen you in a long while "

The teen couldn't help but smile

" But don't overdress so that you don't steal Rin's spotlight tonight , it wouldn't be fair if the eyes were only on you tonight "

Hongjoong stood up and left towards his studio leaving both San and Y/n with an awkward silence

Not being able to handle sitting there she stood up and went to her room and look for an outfit

————

" Hwa ! do I look pretty ? "

Rin twirled as she came down showing off her dark blue dress with a cut on the back

" It's pretty "

He didn't even really look at her since he was on his phone texting his dad

" You didn't even look at me baby "

She pouted and grabbed him by his suit

" Where's Mingi ? "

" He's with Y/n helping her zip up her dress "

Wooyoung said as he sat on the couch fixing his hair

" I don't just think that they're simply fixing her dress it's been more than ten minutes "

Just as Yunho spoke both of them walked down the hall

" No need to rush , her other dress wouldn't zip up so she changed into this "

Mingi who was practically matching her in his black suit said as he held her by the waist and guided her towards the door as everyone got out

" You sure it was just a change of clothes? "

Hongjoong eyed him annoyed since he saw some her lip gloss on his lips shimmering

"Don't you see his lips? They've been making out while we waited she's trying to ruin my night with your parents "

The younger scoffed making Y/n look at her unbothered

" You're not that special for me to steal whatever night you think you own "

" Y/n enough "

" You're just Jealous that they care more about me than they care about you "

Rin turned around her seat and glared at Y/n

" Oh please, these eight men were mine first , I have already claimed every single one of them and the little attention you're getting doesn't face me at all it's the bare minimum compared to what they give me "

" Please if they oh so loved you why would they get a second girlfriend then ? "

She chuckled cocking her brows looking at the now burgundy haired Y/n who laughed

" My love I don't know what to tell you other than it's none of my concern "

" Girls enough this is supposed to be a happy night for all of us "

Seonghwa sighed as he glared through the front mirror

" a happy night for me ? What will I gain from this Park ? seeing you guys enjoy showing her off while I just sit there and smile pretty like daddy's girl ? Is that what you want me to be doing all night long ? "

" Calm down you're killing the mood and we haven't even started yet "

Jongho squeezed her thighs glaring at her so she could stop

" I don't know about you guys but I'm just here because Yeosang's mom wants to see me "

Y/n sighed making Yeosang look at her funny

" When has my mom said that ? "

" I was told that your mom wanted to see me since we haven't met in a while "

" If she had said that I would've known but that's not the case , I don't know who told you that but don't lie on my moms name "

He looked at her kinda irritated

After Yeosang's words hit her she looked outside biting her lips to calm down

" You could've stayed at home I don't even know why you're here "

Jongho mumbled but forgot he was a bit loud

" Alright just get out and stop talking we're here and behave "

Everyone pilled out the car leaving Y/n sitting there as she continued to bite her inner lips with closed eyes

"When you get over your tantrum lock the car "

Seonghwa threw the car keys onto her lap and left going inside the restaurant

Tears of anger suddenly left her eyes as she bawled her fists and screamed loudly

Why would Hongjoong lie to her ?

What was the point of him telling her that Yeosang's mom wanted her to come when she clearly never said that ?

The only things that angered her was that he made her look like a fool in front of everyone else but was glad that it didn't actually happen in front of Yeosang's family and everyone else's parents, because if that did happen she would die from embarrassed right there

The girl wiped her tears and sat there for another twenty minutes debating on if she wanted to go or not

On the end she decided to get off the car and walk in after fixing her make up

" Wait , miss do you have any reservations? "

" Yes I'm actually here to meet up with the family of my boyfriend's "

" Name please ?"

" Y/n , you'll find me under my boyfriend's name Choi Jongho or Jeong Yunho "

The guard checked the list while looking up at he kinda suspicious

" These names are indeed on the list but im sorry I can't seem to find you on here "

He cleared his throat and waved for guards to come over

" No but , there must be a mistake can you please look again? "

" I'm not blind and neither do I have the time to handle this madness I don't get payed enough for this crap "

He scoffed and signaled for them to wait as Y/n looked at him in disbelief

" I don't get enough love to be here either , you know what ? give The guy named Park Seonghwa his car keys and tell him that im off the map for tonight "

She threw the keys on the table and left

" Thank you this is just what I needed "

The girl groaned as the heavy rain started pouring on her making the dress stick to her body

She couldn't understand what their problem against her was

All she ever did was love them with all she had

But apparently that was all just a waste of her time

Y/n started to doubt that all the I love you's where real

Or anything that included them loving her

She felt limp and cold as the rain kept pouring down on her

Nothing hurt more than being lied to and made a fool of

Turning around the corner she walked into a a small store all messed up, her once beautiful makeup was ruined and so was her hair making the cashier look at her surprised

Y/n looked around and ended up at the liquor section sighing as she grabbed a big bottle off Vodka even though she hesitated for a good minute

Starring at the bottle she finally went to the cashier to pay

" Is everything ok miss ? "

The young girl who registered the things looked at her once again tilting her head

" Not really but that's how life is "

" Can I see your ID please "

She showed her ID and payed for the stuff

" I don't know what you're going through but please cheer up everything is going to get better it will take time so please don't worry "

" Sweetheart, don't you ever enter a poly relationship it will slowly destroy you "

She grinned and left after making the young cashier confused

Wandering the streets of Seoul , Y/n didn't really know were she was going but one thing she knew was that she was going to keep walking until she couldn't anymore

Opening the strawberry flavored alcoholic drink she chugged on it carelessly as if it was juice even thought it was burning her throat

" What did I do wrong Mom ? "

She cried out as she sat down on a bench looking up at the sky

" Can't I just be with you again? "

Tears streamed down as she felt herself getting drunk because of the amount of alcohol she already consumed

" I wish I never left you , I wish I had spend more time with you on those sleepless nights "

Looking onto the water that glistened because of the moonlight made her feel like being hugged my someone but yet so empty at the same time

The Han river looked so pretty on night time which did comfort her for a little

" What did I do wrong ? Am I not pretty enough ? Am I getting fat ? "

She pulled out her phone and opened the camera seeing her face

A complete disaster , Make up all smeared , her hair a mess , lips all smudged

It all make her bawl out more tears as she told herself how pathetic she looked and eventually stood up and laughed at her own misery

Walking up to the railing she stared down onto the cold looking water

A huge feeling of comfort but at the same time the loneliness always seemed to come back

Y/n climbed up the railing and sat on it taking a deep breath shaking

She wanted to give up , every single memory came flashing through her mind

Maybe the only way out for her was to leave completely

" Hey …. , I know you were probably mad at me earlier and I'm sorry , I just wanted to wish you all the best with Rin treat her better than you've ever treated me and give her lots of love , I've always wanted to be loved but it didn't seem like I could really get that from you guys lately and it's ok because I did get my fair share of happy moments these past four to five years , I myself admit that I am indeed a pathetic little baby like Yunho said that cries over everything and I wish I could help it but just seeing how you love someone else more just hurts me , I felt so bad that night you guys had Rin move in with us I cried so hard for the first time while looking in the mirror , I just felt left out by you guys , I thought I've always held a special place in that house but it seems like I'm not the spark you need to function anymore , I didn't mean to talk for three minutes but I just wanted to give my last goodbyes before I leave, Thank you for the beautiful experience of being loved "

She pressed send and waited for the two check marks to appear taking a deep breath

And finally jumped

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chaos-of-the-abyss · 4 months ago

Note

as someone who has read your fics a lot (big fan hiiiii) and your tags (they're like easter eggs), i am now so curious about your controversial opinions and takes that piss you off because, i mean, i don't want to make a big deal out of it, but you seem to change your opinion on certain characters now hehehe

hi anon! thank you for reading my fics and the nonstop rambling in my tags, haha. i hope you have fun with them! i'm going to assume this is about the silm fandom because i've been rolling out the tolkien posts lately. i couldn't possibly go into all my controversial opinions or all the takes that i hate in one post, but since you're asking i'll give three of each. i'm gonna stick with things i haven't talked much about on this blog, because there are lots of opinions and takes (i.e. blaming thingol/b&l/dior/elwing for the kinslayings, claiming elrond and elros think of maedhros and maglor as their Real Parents, etc.) that i've already made my thoughts on abundantly clear, lol

controversial opinion #1: i don't think tolkien intended this to be the case, but the noldor have uncomfortably colonial overtones in their expressed intentions for middle-earth: 'long he spoke, and ever he urged the noldor to follow him and by their own prowess to win freedom and great realms in the lands of the east' / 'the words of feanor concerning middle-earth had kindled in her heart, for she yearned to see the wide unguarded lands and to rule there a realm at her own will. of like mind with galadriel was fingon fingolfin's son, being moved also by feanor's words, [...] and with fingon stood as they ever did angrod and aegnor, sons of finarfin.' these are finwe's family, his son and his grandchildren. there is no way they aren't aware that elves already inhabit beleriand, yet they express zero consideration for what said elves' opinions might be on their sudden arrival and claiming of the land. it is... a Bad Look

controversial opinion #2: according to the narrative, the sons of feanor lost their right to the silmarils. regardless of who agrees or disagrees, that's what the text posits. the silmarils burned morgoth. they didn't burn beren, didn't burn luthien, didn't burn dior, didn't burn elwing, didn't burn earendil, and didn't burn eonwe. they burned maedhros and maglor

controversial opinion #3: eol is not unreasonable for his low opinion of the noldor. eol is unreasonable for almost everything else about him -- he attempted filicide, is at best a creepy stalker and at worst a rapist (aredhel was not "wholly unwilling"... wdym tolkien explain tolkien what do you mean she was not wholly unwilling), and he accidentally murders his own wife while trying to murder his son. like wow, pick a way to be a terrible person. these quotes though -- "all this land is the land of the teleri, and i will not deal nor have my son deal with the slayers of our kin, the invaders and usurpers of our homes" / "no right have you or any of your kin in this land to seize realms or to set bounds, either here or there." -- he's not wrong about the highlighted portions and he has every right to dislike the noldor for the points he brings up. (though he is wrong for believing the noldor are at fault for morgoth, since morgoth would have come knocking with or without them.)

okay now on to the takes that piss me off!

stupid take #1: that thingol and doriath were bigoted assholes that turn away refugees for not letting aredhel pass through. this was not a very nice thing for them to do, obviously, but equating it with a case of refusing refugees is ridiculous. to begin with, the iathrim and the noldor (save maybe for the nargothrondim, whose king -- finrod -- has a respectful relationship with thingol) do not have the best relations with each other, which is hardly just doriath's fault. then aredhel, one of the noldo whom the iathrim have tensions with, wants to travel through their kingdom to visit her cousin, another one of the noldo whom the iathrim have tensions with. (the worst tensions with, in fact, as thingol is markedly, and rightfully, more disdainful towards the sons of feanor in particular.) why is it so unreasonable that this would not go over well? the iathrim didn't force her to go the way she did either; in fact they explicitly warn her that that road is "the speediest way," but that it is "perilous". she had other options and she decided to go with the one that was reportedly dangerous. and on top of it all, aredhel is not in the same dire situation as actual refugees. turgon would have given her ample supplies for the journey since he was already so remiss to her leaving in the first place, plus he gives her "three lords of his household" as guards/companions. how come this instance, which is not a case that concerns refugees, is treated by some people as sure evidence of thingol's isolationism and "racism" towards the noldor, while an explicit instance where he does accept actual -- noldorin!! -- refugees is swept under the rug? oh wait i know. because this fandom loves making doriath into this discriminatory, uniquely nationalist kingdom that it canonically is not. if you want isolationism, gondolin is right there

stupid take #2: that luthien's victories over sauron and morgoth are proof that she's a mary sue. tolkien calling her "luthien the mere maiden" is annoying, but more accurate than the complaints about her being op. she doesn't even fight either of them. with sauron he jumps at her and radiates so much Hatred that she faints, but she manages to cover his eyes with her cloak and make him sleepy for a moment. huan takes the opportunity to jump in and they start fighting. with morgoth, her disguise doesn't work on him. instead she uses his arrogance and lust to her advantage, bides her time, then seizes the opportunity to put him to sleep with her cloak. and when he stirs, she and beren run for their lives in terror! when people say luthien winning against sauron and morgoth is plot armor, what they really mean is that their faves don't have the guts she has to go up against extreme odds and the brains to effectively use what she has going for her to her greatest benefit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

stupid take #3: that luthien cast an enchantment on celegorm to make him lust after her. or even anything adjacent like luthien's maia blood enchanted celegorm though she wasn't doing it intentionally. not even going to bother debunking this kind of thing because it's a genuinely braindead take that reeks of misogyny, victim-blaming, and desperate whitewashing. fuck all the way off

i get the feeling you're talking about the sons of feanor on that part about changing my opinion on certain characters? which you'd be right about, the fandom has majorly turned me off from them. they used to be nearly the center of my interest in the silmarillion and its events, and now, while i still like them as they are in the story, i barely look at fandom content of them because the apologism is extreme and ridiculous. also funnily enough, my ranking of the individuals within the blanket of "the feanorians" has shuffled a lot too. maedhros and maglor used to be my favorite, now i've had enough maedhros and maglor to last me... maybe not a lifetime, but a good long while. (i dipped out of the tolkien fandom about two/three years ago, which was the time i got tired of m&m content. to this day i'm still tired of them.) and celegorm, the piece of shit that he is, used to be among my least favorite and now somehow shot his way up to my favorite <3 he's ambitious. he's charismatic. he's impulsive and arrogant. he's a wreck. he's funny. he's the absolute worst. love him

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bella-rose29 · 1 year ago

Text

'tis the damn season

requested by anon: can I request a Lockwood x fem reader based on tis the damn season by Taylor swift?

for anyone that's confused, when I'm talking about temperature in degrees, I mean degrees Celsius because I'm English

also lockwood goes by Anthony because it's written from the perspective of both him and the reader, who knew him as Anthony (the others still call him Lockwood)

Word count: 10.4k (Jesus Christ why can't I write this much for my assignments)

Warnings: NO HAPPY ENDING, I REPEAT, THERE IS NO HAPPY ENDING, THEY DO NOT END UP TOGETHER, I CRIED WRITING THIS, like two swear words, mentions of Lockwood's family being dead, Lockwood was sort of an ass in the past, it has been proof read once and only once

Tag list: @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @briar-rose23, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @no-morning-glories, @novelizt, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

As always, let me know here if you would like to be added to or removed from my Lockwood and Co tag list <3

Anthony Lockwood had actually slept last night, and for once he didn't look like he'd just come back from the dead.

His eye bags were still visible of course, but less prominent, and Holly remarked on it when he walked into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Lucy was glued to the morning paper, practically at one with it. Surprisingly George was too, cramming himself into the tiny amount of space that Lucy had left for him to read the article.

"What's new then?" Lockwood asked, and Holly shook her head with a smile. Without even looking away from the paper, Lucy answered, excitement lacing her tone.

"Y/n L/n's in London! She was seen coming out of the airport yesterday afternoon and is apparently staying in a hotel not too far from here! George and I were gonna go see if we could spot her after breakfast." Lockwood had frozen at the name, shaking himself out of it barely a moment later and ignoring the questioning look that Holly had given him. George and Lucy were too busy examining the paper to notice anything.

He busied himself with his tea, asking if anybody wanted a mug (they all already had their own), then popped a couple of slices of bread in the toaster and giving it a thump when it didn't start working right away. In the time it took for his toast to be made, Lucy and George left, the wind outside making the front door slam behind them as they chattered excitedly about the famous actress who was so close to them.

Holly didn't move, instead looking up at Lockwood every now and then while she wrote a list for the shopping they needed to do later, and eventually he broke. "What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Holly asked, attempting to be innocent.

"Like that! You're doing it again! You're looking at me like I'm hiding something from you, and it's making me anxious!"

"Is there something you want to share?" She raised an eyebrow, and Lockwood felt himself shrink slightly under her stare. "Why'd you freeze up when Lucy said her name?" He froze again, for longer this time, and he had to turn away so that Holly couldn't see the vulnerability he was sure was on his face. He did it under the guise of washing out his mug, tea long since finished, and the pair of them were silent for a while.

"We... we grew up together," he sighed, pausing his movements. "She used to live on this street, right at the other end, and our parents were friends. Then... then we got older, and we dated, and they were the best years of my life." He smiled to himself, still not facing Holly but knowing that she was paying him her full attention from the way that he couldn't hear her pen scratching. "And then two years ago she left for America, to go and be what she'd always dreamed of being, and she became this great actress and I was still... here. We broke up, of course. She'd never be able to do long distance. Actually," he frowned "neither would I. We both need to be physically close to the person we're going out with, so it wouldn't have worked. We didn't exactly end things in the best way either. It's been easier to just try and forget, to be honest."

"But... if you were together two years ago, then how come George and Lucy haven't said anything? How come none of us knew?"

"We kept it a secret. She'd already been acting for a good few years and people were starting to recognise her in the street, so we figured it would be best if we kept to ourselves. Neither of us minded; it was nice to have something that was just for the two of us, you know?" He had turned around while he was talking, and Holly nodded her agreement. "I didn't think she'd be coming back to London, to be honest." His voice was quieter now, almost fearful of what would happen if they bumped into each other while she was here.

The letterbox clattered in the hallway, post falling through and landing on the floorboards, and Holly left to pick them up, casting a glance over her shoulder as she went. Lockwood didn't notice any of it, too caught up in his memories to do so, and when Holly came back with yet another stack of envelopes with 'IMPORTANT' stamped on the front in big red letters he sighed, already doing the mental calculations of how much money they would need to make in the next few weeks to not fall behind in paying for their debts.

~~~

Y/n L/n was not staying in a hotel, but instead was at her parents' house on Portland Row and hanging up Christmas decorations around the rooms (her parents had managed to hold off decorating until she came home), singing along to the music that poured out of the old speakers her father had somehow convinced her mother to keep.

She had hired somebody to pretend to be her while she stayed in London, preferring the privacy of her family home to the constant reporters and journalists and fans that always swarmed around her. Not-Y/n was being paid handsomely for her trouble, and so far she was doing an excellent job. There weren't going to be too many sightings, and for the most part Not-Y/n would stay in the hotel (in the finest room they had), since Real-Y/n was easily recognisable and anyone with a keen eye would be able to tell the difference immediately.

She'd thought she'd seen Anthony the night before as she pulled up and parked her car beside the park that they used to play in together when they were kids, but it was fleeting and the figure had disappeared around the corner before she could take a closer look. Not that she knew what she would have said if it was him, given how things had been left.

She'd initially wanted to keep up with his life when first in Los Angeles, but since there was no Problem there news about ghosts was scarce, and the time difference was troubling enough that she didn't want to call on the number he'd given her in case he was busy, or, even better, actually asleep. It had been too easy to make excuses for not contacting him, and she figured that if she'd really wanted to know what he had been up to and who he was friends with she would work out the time in England and ask him.

She never did, of course. Life got too busy for her to remember the love that she'd left behind, and the only time she thought about him was when she had a moment to breathe; a gap in her schedule, a break during filming, or worst of all when she was lying awake at night, unable to sleep because she was so used to having him with her. Her mind would replay every moment, every touch of his hand on her body, every laugh that they had shared, every kiss, and it was torture.

It was torture because in the end he hadn't fought for her like she'd thought he would.

Her mother passed up baubles to hang near the top of the tree (why they had such a tall one Y/n had no idea; it barely fit in the living room) while her father awkwardly untangled the lights that were going to wrap around the bannister, stopping every now and then to dance (badly) to the music. Her mother laughed at him, then grew annoyed when he didn't listen to her and refused to hand over the lights for her to sort out, then laughed again when he finally got them free and held them up with a "tadaa!"

An hour or so later the house was covered in tinsel, lights and other decorations, and Y/n pulled on her boots and thick coat in the hallway. "I'm just going for a walk, let me know if you need anything!" Her parents shouted back, providing goodbyes and a few items to pick up from the corner store, and then Y/n was off down the street, her feet splashing through puddles from yesterday's rain.

~~~

The bell tinkled as Y/n pushed open the door to Arif's, warmth immediately greeting her as she moved further in and let the door swing shut behind her. Arif looked up from his place at the counter, smiling widely when he saw who it was and coming around to wrap her in a tight hug. "There's my favourite customer! How have you been! Tell me everything!"

~~~

Forty minutes later Y/n was on her way again, arms laden with shopping bags that contained the things her parents had asked for and many, many gifts from Arif that he'd meant to drop off for her family. The cold air greeted her, the wind picking up and making her hair tangle, but Y/n found she didn't mind too much. Seeing Arif was worth the sting on her cheeks. She was so caught up in the joy of seeing him again that when she walked past a young man on the pavement, she nearly tripped over when she recognised him as Anthony Lockwood. He moved to steady her out of instinct, too much of a gentleman to let her fall and her groceries spill, and her heart almost stopped at the feel of his warmth so close to her body and his hands on her upper arms.

"Are you alright?"

God, just hearing his voice made her miss him all over again, but her stay in London was only temporary and she could never torture him by making him wait for her. He sounded almost pained, like he was aching, and it only made her feel worse that it was probably her that put that ache in him.

"Uh, yeah, I'm alright. Thank you," she tried smiling, the action hesitant as her eyes searched his for any sign of, well, anything. He smiled back, faint and far away, but his hands stayed on her arms and hers remained on her shopping bags, so close to him that all she needed to do was reach her finger out slightly and she would brush against his coat.

His coat.

He had a new one; nicer, more expensive looking, and covered in fewer plasma stains than his old one had been, but the style was the same and so typically Anthony that Y/n felt her heart crack at the memory of them all over again.

Sometimes, when they'd snuck out to a cafe in the outskirts of London (which took them a while, but it was worth every minute), Y/n would shiver from the cold air of the evening and Anthony would scold her with a playful 'tut tut', offering up his coat and saying that he was getting too warm anyway (a lie, she knew that he was cold too). Other times they would be in her living room, watching old films from before the Problem on her television, and Anthony would drape his coat over them as a sort of blanket. He always asked why they couldn't just use one of the actual blankets that Y/n and her family had strewn around the living room, and Y/n would always give a vague reply. He knew the real answer of course, since he knew her better than she knew herself, but he only ever smiled at the knowledge that she just wanted to be surrounded by his presence.

Now that coat was gone, although if Anthony hadn't changed then he'd most likely kept it somewhere for safekeeping, unable to part with it entirely. It still felt as though he'd replaced his old life with a new one, filled with great exploits and adventures, and no room for Y/n.

"Are you sure you're alright? It looked like you nearly face planted just now, and you're shaking a little bit." His smile had gone entirely now, replaced with a concerned frown, and Y/n realised with a start that she was shaking, and she had no idea why. Maybe it was the cold (which had become worse in the last hour), or maybe it was the shock of seeing Anthony so suddenly, but her body was reacting to something and her mind was having to play catch-up.

"Just need to get home and get warm, I think. Dad's put the fire on. I hope." Now it was her turn to frown, brows drawing together at the memory of all the previous times her father had attempted to light the fire, often smoking out the living room in the process. Her mother always told him how it should be done, but he was insistent every time that his way was the right way, and every time he was wrong. "It's a lot colder out here now, and I don't think that my scarf is quite up to the job anymore. It's not far now, really." She was starting to ramble, unsure what to say when he was looking at her like he was, his expression smoothed over and neutral but his eyes conveying all the words he wanted to say.

He'd always been that way, and no matter how hard he tried to hide how he really felt from her, Y/n was able to see through it immediately. This time was different though, not because she'd stopped being able to read him, no. No, she could read every emotion in his eyes, the problem was that she had no guide to help her interpret what any of it meant. He seemed to be happy, but sad, and angry but also not, surprised, scared, adoring: the list went on and on, and she had to look away.

"Well... let me walk you home," he said, and now she could see his emotions clearly and only a couple at a time; timid and hesitant, two words one would not normally use to describe Anthony Lockwood. She dimly registered herself nodding, not protesting too much when he dipped to snatch a couple of her bags from her and started walking in the direction of her house. He stopped suddenly, and Y/n almost crashed into the back of him, sliding a little on the small patches of ice that had started to form. "Are you... are you staying at your parents' house? I know you said that your dad put the fire on, so I just assumed, but I don't want to-"

"Yes, I am, so stop chattering. I'm freezing my tits off out here," she joked (although the cold was definitely settling into her bones and her limbs falling off was absolutely a possibility), and he gave a small smile in response, starting to walk again.

The atmosphere was strange; on the one hand it was nice seeing him again, walking alongside him the way that they used to and just being near him. But on the other hand it was awful, everything that had happened the last time they had seen each other replaying in her mind. Neither of them had acknowledged it, the previous holiday that they had spent together lingering in the air like a bad perfume and suffocating her. It was more like they were actively avoiding the subject, opting to pretend that it had never happened.

They had been so happy, too, and then she'd had to tell him that she was leaving and everything was ruined.

"Anthony? I need to tell you something," she had said, her voice soft in the quiet of Anthony's library as the two of them sat curled up in the large armchair in front of the fire. It was a rare occasion where the other members of the agency were out on a job, and Anthony was home, so he had called Y/n over for an hour or so. He had hummed in response, not opening his eyes as her fingers stroked through his hair, and as such he missed the worry on Y/n's face.

"What is it, Angel?" He'd insisted on the nickname for her when they'd first met, and she didn't have the strength to say no to him when it sounded so sweet in his mouth. All she had done was hold up a bus so that he could catch it, but he was determined that she had saved his life like his 'own personal guardian angel' (his exact words). Then when they saw each other again, barely a week later, he'd lit up with joy, running over and calling out "Angel!" as though it were her name (although in fairness she hadn't ever told him her actual name).

At that point, warmed by the fire and Anthony's body, she hadn't wanted to ruin the moment by telling him her news, but he had pushed himself up from where he had been resting his head in the crook of her neck and looked at her with concern in every inch of his body that she blurted it out.

"I'm leaving England." Those three words hung there in the air between them, and Anthony took only a few seconds to register the words before he was starting to pull up his guards and walls and block her out.

"You- You're what?"

"I'm leaving England. Moving to America for work. I got offered a job that could change my life and I can't say no. The money is insane, Anthony, and god knows that we need it what with the state of things right now. And I know that you would never let me but you could have a bit of it- no, don't be like that," she scolded as he went to protest, his pride making him refuse any help. "You're drowning in debt so the least you could do is let me pay for your weekly shop or something." She trailed off, hoping her tone hadn't sounded too defensive, and when she tried searching his eyes for any sign of emotion she found that, for the first time, she couldn't see anything. They were dull, not even a brief flicker of sadness, or pain, or anger, hell - even happiness she could have worked with. Instead he had shut her out, and that hurt more than anything else that he could have done.

"Congratulations. You deserve the job," he smiled, but it wasn't one of the ones that he saved for his friends and loved ones. He was smiling as though he was performing, teeth shining as his cheeks pulled wide, and Y/n felt tears on her cheek. She had pushed him away after that, moving to stand up and collect her things. "Where are you going?"

"Home," she had sniffled, trying to desperately hide how she was feeling from him. She never normally did, not with Anthony, but if he was going to close himself off then she would do the same. "I think... I think we should break up. We both need to be near each other and that won't... that won't be possible." It had been whispered, the words filled with fear and sadness, and when Anthony only nodded in agreement, fake smile no longer on his face, Y/n had taken a deep breath and left.

Now, two years afterwards, they were side by side, making the short walk back to her parents' house in silence. Y/n couldn't help but steal glances at him from where he walked on her right (making sure that she wasn't walking next to the roadside), but at the slightest movement of his head her gaze whipped back to the path in front.

"How long are you back for?" His question startled her slightly, and she nearly slipped on a hidden patch of ice that had yet to be gritted over.

"I'm leaving just after the new year. Mum's ecstatic that I'm home for a few weeks. To be fair so is Dad, he just doesn't show it as much. I can still tell though." Anthony nodded, faint smile on his lips as he remembered her parents. They had always made him feel welcome, and he had loved them as though they were his real family. Then Y/n had left, and he had never gone back to their house. He saw them on the street sometimes, or he would pass them in Arif's, but it was always fast, no time to stop for a chat. "Are you... are you doing anything for Christmas or New Year's?"

"Oh. Not really. We'll probably be working a lot, since Visitors start popping up earlier in the day this time of year, and there's more of them too. Christmas Day I think George was going to cook, but he might still be on strike."

"On strike?"

"He says we don't respect his cooking enough, which is ridiculous because he's the only one that can cook, and his food is delicious. Anyway, he's gone on a cooking strike until he's satisfied that we love him enough." Y/n laughed, although it was more of a snort and a few huffs of air, and Anthony could only stare at her in wonder. He'd forgotten how much he missed her, but having her next to him, in the flesh, was making him wonder how he had ever survived the past two years without her.

They had arrived at her front gate, the metal covered in raindrops and snow that had tried to fall and melted, and Y/n pushed it open. The two of them went up the stairs and stopped at the top while Y/n adjusted the bags to open the door, and Anthony reached out to grab the few presents that threatened to fall as she jostled them. The front door swung open, letting out a wonderful burst of heat that made Anthony wish things were different so that he could walk in like nothing had changed, and Y/n stepped in, wiping her boots on the mat and toeing them off in the hallway.

"Where should I...?" Anthony lifted the bags he held, and Y/n beckoned him in as she shut the door behind him.

"Just dump them there. You can... you don't have to stay, by the way. If you don't want to, that is. I just shut the door to stop it getting cold." She was flushed, although Anthony couldn't tell if that was from the cold air outside or the awkward atmosphere inside. He was about to answer (he hadn't decided what to say yet) when Y/n's mother appeared from the living room, coming to investigate who had come over.

"Anthony? What are you doing here? It's been a while!" She pulled him in for a hug, and he found himself returning it just as tightly, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to not feel too at home.

"I was just helping Y/n carry bags," he said when they pulled back, and her mother nodded in understanding.

"Well can you stay for a cup of tea? Or do you need to get on?" She looked so hopeful, and he felt bad when he glanced over at Y/n and answered.

"I should get back, really. I left the others at home on their own, so I should check that they haven't killed each other," he joked, cracking a smile. He could practically feel the disappointment radiating off of Y/n's mother, and he went to make up for it. "But you know, if you're ever free then let me know. I'm sure we can arrange something."

"Oh, sure! Well don't let us keep you any longer. It was lovely seeing you again, Anthony." She gave him another hug, then waved as he opened the door and stepped out into the cold, and he was just wrapping his coat more tightly around him and closing the door behind him when he heard her say "Well he certainly got more handsome," and Y/n groaned in response.

~~~

The next few days were quiet, filled with cosy days in the living room and Christmas movies, so when the phone rang in the front hall it made everybody jump. Y/n's father got up to answer it (Y/n and her mother had insisted that they were too comfortable to ever possibly move), and when he came back a few seconds later he turned to Y/n.

"It's for you," he said, sticking his thumb over his shoulder in reference to the phone, and Y/n reluctantly peeled off her blanket to pad out into the hall.

"Hello?"

"Angel, hi." Her breath caught in her throat at the name, but Anthony was already moving on, clearly not realising that he'd said it. "I was wondering if you were free for a walk now? I think... I think it would be a good idea to talk, but I don't want to pressure you if you don't want to."

"I don't know... it's like minus two degrees out isn't it?"

"The churros van is out in the park?" She pretended to consider, but the churros was so good that she was already dreaming about it.

"Fine. Let me get my things."

"Perfect. I'll be outside in five." He clicked off, ending the call, and Y/n headed back into the living room.

"What did he want?" her mother asked (Y/n had heard her father tell her who it was on the line).

"To go for a walk and catch up." Not entirely the truth, but not a lie either. She was sure that they would do some catching up too, and not just reminisce about the past.

"Alright. Make sure you wrap up warm though, yeah? Weather forecast says it might snow."

"Yeah, I will. I'll see you later." She waved as she left the room, pulling on her boots and various winter clothes, and just as she fixed her gloves on her hands a knock sounded on the door. She swung it open to reveal Anthony, although he wasn't dressed nearly as warmly as she was.

"You look like a snowman," he said, amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Yeah, and you'll be a snowman soon. You must be freezing!" Anthony shrugged, seemingly not caring too much about the cold. Y/n wasn't having it though, so she moved backwards to pick up a thick scarf that belonged to her father and wrapped it around Anthony's neck. She felt his breath hitch at the action, and her own face heated up in response.

"Thanks. I would have been fine though."

"Shut up and let me stop you turning to ice."

~~~

The park was emptier than they had thought it would be, but then again there wasn't much there to amuse people other than the sad set of children's play equipment and the occasional food truck. Given the park's proximity to Portland Row, it had always been a great spot for Anthony and Y/n to play when they were kids, stumbling home afterwards to their respective ends of the street. The churros van had appeared from October through to the end of January every year, and it was a tradition for the two of them to get a cone every time they visited. Now they strolled through the park with their churros in hand, warming them with every bite and dropping sugar everywhere, and for the first time since seeing him the other day, Y/n felt somewhat comfortable in Anthony's presence.

"I'm sorry."

He had broken the silence between them, and all at once the memories came back and the peace was over.

"What for?" She knew what he ought to be sorry for, but she wanted to know what he thought he needed to apologise for.

"For not doing anything. When you left. I should have said something different and I was an ass. So I'm sorry."

Y/n could have left it at that, but he truly had been an ass and she felt she deserved more of an apology.

"You shut me out, Anthony. Completely. And that hurt, you know? Because we promised that no matter what happened we would never do that to each other."

"I know, and I'm sorry for that too." He stared down at his churros as it grew cold, and he placed the piece that he was holding back in the cone. "It just felt like I was loosing the one piece of my childhood that I thought I wouldn't ever lose, and I couldn't handle that. I thought I was doing better, but then you said you were leaving and it was like I was loosing my family all over again, and I couldn't-" he broke off, his voice too thick with emotion to continue, and he looked up and away from his churros to stare at the sky instead, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I know that you've lost a lot of people that you love, Anthony, but you didn't have to lose me too." There was a pause where he looked guilty, mouth pursing and eyes watering, then:

"And now? Are you still lost?"

"I don't really know. I know we can't ever be what we were again, but I also know that everything apparently leads to you. I see things all the time that make me think of you and London, and sometimes somebody will say something that makes me automatically look for you, because you'd find it funny or ridiculous. And it's hard, being English in America, because everything is so entirely different, but it's a life that I would never give up. You understand that, don't you? Having a job that you willingly let consume you because you love it so much. So maybe I am lost in some ways, but that doesn't mean we can't try and find something beautiful again."

Anthony nodded, clearing his throat, and Y/n swallowed thickly to push down the fear that he would tell her he didn't want to see her again.

"Alright. I fucked up, and I paid for it. But I want you back in my life, if you'll let me have you. And I'll try to stay in contact when you go back. You know I don't have a proper sleeping schedule anyway, so call whenever."

"Of course I want to be in your life again, Anthony. Why else do you think I got so torn up about leaving you? I didn't want to, but I also couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"I know, I know." He paused for a moment. "I know." They walked on in silence for a little while as they continued eating their churros, until Anthony heard a stifled giggle from his right. "What? Why are you laughing?"

"What? No reason!" Y/n was smiling more widely now, unconfined joy filling her expression as her eyes darted over Anthony's face.

"Why do I feel like you're lying to me? What is it? Do I have something on my face?" Y/n tried holding back her laugh, resulting in a snort instead as she pressed her hand to her mouth. "I do, don't I. Have I got sugar on my face?"

"Just a tiny bit," she replied, giggling. Anthony reached up to wipe it away, but he had sugar on his fingers and his attempts only resulted in putting more on his face than he was taking off. Y/n was practically doubled over laughing now, and a few people around the park were starting to look over in curiosity, smiling when they saw the two of them. Anthony took his chance while she was distracted and pressed his hand to her cheek, slowly dragging his sugar-coated fingers down. Y/n stopped laughing, her mouth hanging open as she stared at him with incredulity. "How dare you. Really, how could you?" Anthony took his hand back, smiling proudly at his work, but he was too distracted by the happy feeling that was growing in his chest to notice the wicked glint that had come into Y/n's eyes, so the slap of sugar that hit his face shocked him.

"What?! You're a devil!"

"I thought I was an angel?" she asked, mock innocence all over her face. Anthony could only chuckle and shake his head, using his sleeve to wipe off what sugar he could from his cheeks.

"Why don't we call it even?"

"Fine, but only because it's the season for spreading love." Her smile was still wide, and Anthony had forgotten how much he missed it.

Y/n had missed his smile too, his real one, and when they started walking again they were closer together, arms brushing every now and then.

~~~

Two days later, Y/n was sat in her bed at home, winding down for the evening with a book when she heard a small tap against her window. She frowned slightly at the curtains, then went back to her book. She had barely read the next sentence when a second tap sounded, followed by a third a few seconds later. The noise was irritating, so she stood up and peeked out the window, pulling the curtain to the side to see into the dark garden. A shadowy figure was at the bottom, crouched down and rummaging in the undergrowth for something, and when they stood up straight Y/n sighed, putting her bookmark in place and her book on the bedside table. She cracked open the window a little right before the figure could throw another stone, and shivered at the cold air that snaked in.

"Anthony, what on earth are you doing?"

"Oh, hi! Can I come up?" Y/n frowned again, eyeing the trellis and drainpipe that he had used when they were younger to climb up the side of her house.

"Aren't you too heavy now?"

"I haven't put on that much weight! It'll be fine!"

"You know that you could just use the front door, don't you?"

"Your dad is still in the front room, and I didn't want to get stuck in conversation."

"Ugh, fine. But be quiet! And if you fall off I'm claiming ignorance!" She heard his quiet laughter from the base of the house, and then his small grunts as he hauled his body up the trellis and the pipe. Y/n stepped back, pulling the window further open and trying to warm herself up at the blast of cold air, and then Anthony was grasping the windowsill and asking for help as he clambered in. It took a minute to get him in; he was much lankier than he had been, his legs all over the place, and his height meant that he hit his head a few times, but eventually the two of them manoeuvred him so that he was safely inside. "What are you even doing here?!" she asked, closing the window and pulling the curtains closed again.

Anthony looked sheepish for a moment, lifting a hand to rub the back of his neck. "I couldn't sleep, which is normal, but Lucy is dragging us all ice skating tomorrow and I could do with the rest, so I was wondering if... if I could sleep here? Like we used to? You can say no! And I can leave!" His eyes were wide as he tried to reduce the pressure of his ask, but when he saw the faint smile on Y/n's face he calmed down, knowing that she'd made up her mind.

"Of course you can stay, Anthony. I'm not entirely sure that you'll still fit in my bed though," she looked at the bed, concern lacing her tone. "I think I saw some of your old pyjamas too when I was unpacking, but I have no idea if they'll fit."

"I'm sure it will be fine. You really don't have to do this, you know."

"I know," she shrugged, moving to her drawers and searching for the clothes. "But you always sleep better next to me, and ice skating is draining."

"I'm sure if you wanted to..." he trailed off just as Y/n pulled out the pyjamas in triumph, and she turned to look at him curiously.

"If I wanted to what?"

"Come skating with us. I'm sure the others wouldn't mind. It's at the place we normally went to as kids, and I'm pretty sure we're the only people booked so you wouldn't need to worry too much about being swarmed. Well, apart from George and Lucy, because they're huge fans, but they're sweet really. And if you do get surrounded then we'll fend them off for you. Of course," he continued at her silence, "if you're busy then I don't want to make you feel pressured. I just thought that I would offer."

"I mean, I'd have to check with my parents, but I'd love to, Anthony. I can't promise I'll be any good though, it's been a while since I last went skating."

"There's no skating in LA?"

"There is, it just... it wasn't the same without you."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Anthony took the pyjamas from her, his heart skipping a beat when their fingers brushed against each other in the exchange.

"You can use my bathroom, if you like. You know where it is."

He changed quickly, folding up his day clothes and placing them in a pile at the bottom of Y/n's bed, then tentatively got in next to her. She was right, the bed was a tight fit for the two of them, and his feet were poking out the end of the duvet, but he wouldn't change a thing about it. He finally felt at home again, lying here next to her, and when she reached over him to turn out the light she didn't move all the way back, instead opting to lay her head on his chest and wrap an arm around his waist. He tangled their legs together, brought his own arms around her body, and fell asleep minutes later, the rise and fall of their chests in sync.

~~~

Y/n was woken by her mother the next morning who was bringing in tea, and she made a startled noise at the sight of Anthony in Y/n's bed. He was still asleep, so Y/n hastened to quiet her mother, quickly explaining the situation (and firmly stating that absolutely nothing had happened last night at her mother's raised eyebrows).

"I'll let you two be, then."

"Oh, Mum? Anthony and his friends are going skating later and he asked if I wanted to join them, so I was wondering if you guys would be alright with that?"

"Of course, darling. Just let us know the details at breakfast, yeah?"

"Yeah. Thank you!"

Her mother smiled, closing the door softly behind her, and Y/n turned her attention to Anthony. He looked peaceful, no nightmares or bad memories haunting him while he slept. Really he should have been the angel, he appeared so, well, angelic. They had slept in a lot when they were younger, Y/n waking up earlier than Anthony but opting to doze next to him instead of risking waking him up since he was always dead on his feet. The habit had picked up not long after the death of his parents, when Anthony couldn't sleep at night because he was dreaming of them. Y/n had offered up a spot in her bed, to see if it would help stop the nightmares, and then whenever Anthony wanted a proper night of sleep he'd climb up her wall and come in through the window, slipping under the covers and nestling up to her. Not much had changed, she supposed. He hadn't let go of her while they slept, and she remembered waking up at some point in the night for a wee and fighting to remove his grip from her waist. She had only been gone a few minutes, but when she dived back under the covers (it was cold outside of her bed) Anthony, somehow still asleep, made a grab for her again, pulling her back flat against his chest and sighing into her hair.

She was trying not to doze now, shuffling so that she was sat up with Anthony's head in her lap while she awkwardly held her mug of tea and hoped that none of it spilled over the sides. Once she was settled, she sighed contentedly, closing her eyes and basking in the familiarity of the situation. Y/n wished, not for the first time, that she had been born with some form of Talent, so that she could stay with Anthony forever and not have to leave London.

But life had chosen differently for her, and she had had to figure out what to do instead of being an agent. Acting had been a natural choice, since she was always fascinated by the movies from her childhood and had performed in every school play that was put on. Her parents supported her, of course, since anything was preferable to sending their child out into the night with only a sword and some training as protection from something that could bring back nothing but an apology and a funeral, but behind closed doors they worried that she wouldn't make it, that she needed a back up plan. So they had made sure that she continued her schooling, and took turns driving her to auditions. When Y/n had landed her first proper role in a theatre at the age of fourteen they had gone out to celebrate, having lunch in the restaurant of Y/n's choice, and the show had been a success. Scouts had been in the audience, and one had passed on her information to Y/n, telling her to call her.

Two years and three other successful plays later Y/n had an agent, and a job offer for a blockbuster film in the States, and when she'd heard how much the pay check was she'd accepted. Some people had called her shallow for it, but being an actor who wasn't entirely well-known was difficult, and her parents' house was expensive, she knew. Y/n told herself that she was doing it for them, and for Anthony (who she was determined would get some of the money, no matter how stubborn he was about it), and a few months later she was spending her first day on set.

She had another job lined up for the new year, but had managed to get the time off to come home for the holidays. There was nothing else she could do but carry on, no matter what her fantasies were. Reality was more important now, and reality was leaving him again for her work. He had his own life anyway; she would only be a distraction.

He stirred slightly in her lap, grunting softly and rubbing his eyes. She was glad for the movement, since her legs were starting to lose feeling, and her breath caught in her throat at his sleepy smile when he turned his head to look up at her.

"Morning," he whispered, voice croaky.

"Morning," she replied, matching his volume and smiling back. She put her tea down (which she'd finished at some point, although she wasn't sure when) and moved closer to the wall to allow Anthony some room to sit up next to her. He dropped his head onto her shoulder, sighing happily. "You sleep alright?" Y/n asked, her smile present in her voice.

"Yeah, brilliantly. Haven't slept that well in ages." He pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Thank you, Angel."

"Sure. Anytime, Ant." Y/n paused for a moment, thinking. "Anytime I'm here," she rectified, wincing at the flash of pain in Anthony's eyes.

"Do you have to go back?"

"Yes. I have a job, I can't just..." she waved her hands vaguely, trailing off.

"It's okay. I just wish things were different." He wasn't looking at her, instead picking at a loose thread on his pyjamas.

"Me too."

They were quiet after that, neither knowing where to take the conversation.

"Mum says I can go skating with you guys," Y/n piped up after a while, hope barely concealed in her voice that he would still want her to come with them.

"Oh, really? Perfect! Actually, what time is it?"

"There's a clock right behind you, I don't know why you're looking at me." Anthony blushed, twisting to face the clock that was sat in plain view on the bedside table. The numbers blared 7:43 in bright red, and Anthony sighed in relief.

"I thought it would be later. That's good. I should get back soon though, or the others will skin me alive."

"Well, go when you need to. Mum knows you're here, 'cause she brought me tea, so you could probably stay for breakfast if you wanted. She's been trying to figure out how to catch up with you anyway, and you're the only person that will willingly talk to Dad about sport, so I doubt that either of them will mind. There's no pressure either way."

"Are you sure? I really don't want to intrude-"

"You're using the front door anyway, it's just whether you're stopping for food on the way out." Her expression said that she wouldn't allow any arguments from him, and Anthony nodded, stretching out his long limbs.

"If you're sure it won't be a problem then I'll have something to eat with you lot, but I really don't want to-"

"Oh shut up, Anthony, we all love you here so stop fretting!" He did as she asked, his mouth snapping shut. She should have known what would happen next, since she knew him so well, but it still came as a surprise when he spoke.

"All?"

"Piss off."

"You said 'all', unless my hearing has gone."

"Your hearing has gone."

"Angel."

"Anthony." She frowned, but not in irritation. "Wait, why did I never have a nickname for you?" Anthony shrugged, flopping back against her headboard.

"You went through a number of them, I think. 'Love', 'darling', that sort of thing. You did call me a nuisance a lot though," he said, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Probably because you were being a nuisance."

"How rude! I should tell somebody that I'm being bullied. This is bullying!"

"I'm not bullying you, Anthony. You are such a drama queen sometimes!"

"Ooo, drama queen, that's another one you called me!" Y/n laughed, chucking a pillow at his face and laughing harder when he failed to catch it.

~~~

Anthony did end up staying for breakfast, and he did catch up with Y/n's mother and spend at least half an hour talking to her father about sport, and he only escaped being stuck with her parents for another few days because Y/n had dragged him out, telling them that they would be late for skating. They weren't going to be late, because they still had a good hour or so before they needed to even leave for the rink, but Y/n had felt her heart break further at the sight of Anthony conversing easily with her family once more as though nothing had happened.

Her mother had laughed as Anthony and Y/n left, telling Anthony that he could just use the front door next time, and Y/n had waved goodbye, almost whacking the agent next to her in the face.

"Oh, shit, did I hit you?! Oh, you're fine, okay. No, stop it, you are fine, Anthony, so stop clutching your nose like I broke it."

~~~

Lucy and George could barely contain their shock and excitement at the additional member of their group, and while Holly was outwardly very calm, Anthony knew that she was just as excited by Y/n's appearance from the slight widening of her eyes.

"Oh. My. God. George, am I hallucinating right now?"

"If you are, then I am too."

"Hi," Y/n said, giving the trio of agents a small wave. "You must be Lucy and George? And Holly?"

"Yeah," Lucy replied, her voice more of a squeak than an actual word, and George simply nodded slowly. Holly stepped forward, offering out a gloved hand.

"Holly, yes. It's lovely to meet you," she said with a bright smile, and Y/n took her hand.

"Lovely to meet you too!"

"Shall we get our skates on then? Or are you two going to keep looking like idiots?" At Anthony's words, Lucy seemed to snap out of whatever daze she was in, and her stare turned deadly focused.

"The only one who's gonna look like an idiot is you, Lockwood. I'm actually amazing at ice skating, so good luck out there with your lanky limbs." She turned and marched off, finding a spot to sit down and tug her borrowed skates on.

"Lucy can skate?" George asked, clearly confused. "Lucy? Lucy, can... skate? But she's so clumsy!"

~~~

It turned out that Lucy could in fact skate, better than most of them, but she was disappointed to find out that Anthony could too, and therefore would not be looking like an idiot.

"I probably should have told you that I used to come here every Christmas as a kid. I got quite good in the end," he yelled across the rink. He'd been right about them being the only people there, and Y/n found that it was wonderful to pretend that her life was calm again.

While Y/n had gone with him pretty much every time, she had never truly mastered ice skating as Anthony had, and as such she looked a lot like a baby gazelle learning how to walk for the first time. Holly was similar, and the two of them were arm in arm as they went around the outside, holding on to each other and the barrier at the edge for stability. George was somewhat capable, surprisingly smooth on the ice but for the odd stumble here and there.

Anthony could have been mistaken for a professional skater, but everybody accepted that he was brilliant within the first thirty seconds.

They spent a good hour and a half on the ice, by the end of which Holly and Y/n had managed to stop wobbling enough to let go of the barrier and go carefully around. There was a cafe connected to the rink, and the five of them gathered inside to warm up with cups of tea and a slice of cake, and while Lucy, George, and Holly went to sit at a table (they had passed on their orders), Anthony and Y/n waited at the counter.

"That was really fun. Thank you, for inviting me," she said, turning to face him.

"Of course. I'm glad you enjoyed it, Angel." He was smiling at her, small and happy, and she couldn't help but return it, her cheeks protesting as they stretched against the numb feeling in her face from the cold.

"Christmas Eve tomorrow."

"Hmm," Anthony hummed, thanking the barista for the cakes she placed on their tray. "Are you going to do anything?"

"Probably not. I think we were going to watch a movie, but we might play board games instead. My Grandma's coming over, actually, so it'll be board games."

"How is she? I haven't seen her for a while," he asked, his face lighting up at the memories of her.

"She's alright, yeah. Moved house, made some new friends, that sort of thing. I think Christmas will be good for her; get her out the house and with family."

"Family is a good thing to be surrounded by," Anthony started, but he didn't sound sad. Instead he was looking over Y/n's shoulder at the three members of his agency, a fond smile on his face as he watched them, and she found herself choking up slightly at the knowledge that he'd found a new family for himself. "We're fully booked unfortunately, what with the sun setting at four in the afternoon, so I doubt that we'll have much time to play board games. We'll be sleeping to catch up on all the nights we're going to miss instead."

"Has George stopped striking?"

"Yeah," Anthony chuckled. "Turns out when anyone that isn't him tries to cook he has a borderline heart attack, so he gave up the strike for his own health and peace of mind. I think he's cooking lamb this year. It might not be on Christmas Day though, if we're busy. We'll have to find some other time."

"At least you have jobs though, that's good isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. And while our Christmas will be busy this year, hopefully we can generate enough business by next Christmas to turn down a couple and take the day off. Thank you!" He said the last part to the barista, pots of tea now sat on a second tray, and he and Y/n carefully picked up one tray each to carry over to their table. George snatched up his slice of cake right away, Lucy following right afterwards, and Y/n handed out the last plates to Holly and Anthony, taking her own and putting it in front of her. They quickly engaged in animated conversation again, pouring out tea when it had brewed for long enough and passing mugs around the table, and Y/n was content to sit back for a little while and let them discuss whatever was in their heads.

When the time came for them to leave, the light fading from the sky, the five of them thanked the cafe workers and stepped out into the cold again, pulling their coats tight around them and sticking their hands in their armpits to try and keep them warm. Y/n and Anthony trailed behind, walking close together and talking quietly.

"I'm assuming you'll be busy over the New Year period too?" she asked, hunching her shoulders against the wind that attempted to find a way through her thick scarf.

"Yeah. We already have bookings for the next couple of weeks. When do you go back again?"

"A few days after New Year's. I probably won't see you again properly."

"Oh." They didn't say anything for a moment or two, both thinking too much about the implications.

"You'll stay in touch though, yeah?"

"Of course I will, Angel. If you're not too busy making friends with people that will write books about you or something," he joked, but she could hear the question in his voice, and snorted.

"They aren't friends. Not really. They care more about the fame that being seen with me will bring them. They don't care about me." It was true, and even the people that she would consider friends didn't know her the way that Anthony did. He was the only one who knew exactly how she was feeling at any given time, the only one who could tell which smiles were faked, which laughs were real, what she really meant when she said one thing but secretly wanted to say another.

"Well that sucks."

"Yep." She kicked at a pile of leaves on the pavement, the action throwing her balance off slightly and making her lean closer to Anthony. He moved a hand out slightly, ready to steady her if she needed it.

"I'll call you, I promise."

Although she couldn't tell when, Y/n knew that they had made a silent agreement at some point since that morning. She wouldn't ask him to wait for her to come back, and give him false hope that they could ever be together again, if he didn't ask her to stay with him and give up her life.

While he had asked if she had to leave when they woke up, Anthony had known the answer the whole time. It hurt, of course it hurt, and he hadn't felt quite so empty at her leaving since his childhood, but she was living her dream and he couldn't take that from her. It wasn't right of him to do that when he'd spent their entire lives telling her that she could do anything if she wanted to. It didn't matter that he would have given up everything to be with her, or even just to have her back with him for a few months of the year. None of that mattered, because they were both the sort of person that needed closeness, and they lived on opposite sides of the earth. What he really needed to do was move on, to find someone new, but it still ached to think about doing so.

Before either of them knew it, they were back on Portland Row, parting ways at Y/n's gate (since it was her end of the street they had walked on to) with long hugs and promises of calls, and waves of 'see you later' not 'goodbye', because goodbye was too final.

Anthony was last to hug her, telling the others to carry on without him. He held on tight for much longer than the other three had, and Y/n didn't mind one bit, grasping the back of his coat just as tightly, her nails digging in to the fabric. Her eyes were squeezed shut as she tried to fight off the tears, and she could feel Anthony tensing to stop his own sobs. She tried to commit him to memory, since she only had photos to remember him by (including some new ones from the last few hours), and with every second that ticked past she could feel him slipping further away despite the fact they were closer than they ever had been for the last two years.

Eventually they pulled away from each other, still not quite letting go, and she studied his face. Unlike the last time they had parted at Christmas, he was an open book in large print, every emotion he was experiencing written clearly across his face, and Y/n smiled up at him with watery eyes as she brushed away the stray tear that had slipped down his cheek.

"Thank you, Angel." She didn't ask him what he was thanking her for; she knew that he was thinking the same thing that she was. It had been lovely, being his for again for the last few days, but they needed to end, and she needed to leave.

She didn't really know what to say in response, so instead she pushed up on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek, lingering longer than she should have done but enjoying the feel of him this close again too much. When she pulled back his eyes fluttered open, and she heard a soft sigh escape him, the sound filled with longing.

"I'll let you know when I land and get settled back in, okay?" She fully removed herself from his arms now, moving backwards through her gate.

"Okay. We might be out."

"I'll leave a message for you." Anthony nodded, hunched over slightly as though he were still holding her. He stood up properly all of a sudden, shoving his hands into his coat pockets and smiling sadly at her, starting to move down the street.

"Merry Christmas, Angel," he called out.

"Merry Christmas, Ant."

~~~

A few days after New Year's, the members of Lockwood and Co were piling in to 35 Portland Row at one in the morning, another job completed.

All three were exhausted (Holly was most likely snug in bed in her flat), and Anthony nearly missed the voicemail on the phone. George had been leaning on the table that the phone sat on, however, attempting to pull his boots off, and had seen the light flashing to let them know they had a message.

Anthony forgot all about his weariness, shaking it off as though it were a coat, and pressed play on the voicemail.

"Uh- hi! Sorry, let me just- okay, hi! Sorry, I got caught in the telephone wire. Um, I'm not really sure what to say really. Happy New Year, I guess? I landed about an hour ago, and getting back home was an absolute nightmare. Anyway, you have my number and everything if you want to call. Hope you guys are okay, and I'll call you again soon. Oh, and Anthony? Will you tell the others that they can call me too? Just in case- I don't know. I miss you already, you nuisance." He smiled at the nickname, then her voice came again but more distant, answering somebody else in the room. "Hmm? Oh, okay." She spoke louder again, putting the phone back to her ear. "I need to go now, bye!"

The three of them stood silent in the hallway, all staring at the phone as it went through the usual spiel of which buttons to press.

Neither George nor Lucy said anything when Anthony pressed the number to keep the voicemail.

They also didn't say anything a month later when he came down for breakfast, his face filled with a smile that they could all tell was faked as he told them he was going out. When asked where he was going, he simply replied "On a date" and left, leaving his three coworkers in the kitchen to wonder what the hell had happened to their friend.

Then, a month after that when the headlines were filled with the news that the actress Y/n L/n was reportedly in a relationship with her costar, nobody said anything when Anthony shrugged the news off, instead heading to the phone to congratulate her. He had a partner of his own now, so it made sense that she had somebody too, no matter how much it ached to read about them in the papers.

He had been hers again for one glorious week, and she had been his Angel, but she had needed to leave, and he had needed to stay. That didn't stop either of them from thinking about the other, or noticing small things every day that served as a reminder of them, but that was in the past, and they couldn't stay stuck in it forever.

#lockwood and co #anthony lockwood #lockwood & co #anthony lockwood x reader #lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood x you

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