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lizpottersworld · 11 days ago

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☽｡⋆ 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄

01. for the hope of it all

summary: It’s officially the start of summer break, Remus arrives for his first day at his families farm and discovers a surprise guest in the flower fields.

Remus loved Hogwarts and being around his friends and especially his boyfriend but nothing compared to the ecstatic feeling of arriving at his families farm. It marked the beginning of an amazing summer. It was always the best way to start the next six weeks, the first four with his family and the next few at the Potter Manor.

As soon as the gates are held open for the truck to drive through, as the cows swarm around the flower fields. Remus closes his eyes and relishes in the warmth and belonging, everything was simple here. Blocked away from anything and everything that could possibly trouble you, it didn’t exist when on the farm.

“Remus, Honey, can you help me unload the bags please?” Remus’ mum, Hope, asked him as they pulled up outside the cottage decking. He nodded and stepped out to the refreshing sticky summer air to retrieve the bags from the boot. Lyall, Remus’ dad, patted him on the shoulder in thanks as he grabbed the bags next to him.

“Bet you’d rather spend your summer with Sirius, eh?” Lyall teased, noticing the way he avoided eye contact and the faint fluster on his cheeks. He chuckled as his son discreetly disappeared through the door without a word.

Being in a relationship was new for Remus but being in a relationship with another boy was something for him to get used to. Not that it bothered him, he was more nervous about his friend’s and families feelings towards it. As if they had a say in it, anyway. The light teasing his parents would throw his way never failed to make him blush and forget his train of thought.

Hope held the door open for him as he set the bags on the kitchen side, his dad not far behind, “I can see Sirius in a few weeks, plus theres such a thing called writing, Dad.” Remus rolls his eyes at him.

Lyall chuckles, “Perhaps next time, you can invite him to the farm to stay with us.” He wiggles his eyebrows and Remus shakes his head with a smile.

“Not sure mum would allow that,” He added, “Plus, not sure Sirius could hide the whole magic wizard thing from everyone here.” Lyall nodded and mumbled about unpacking his stuff in the master bedroom.

Remus nodded and helped his mum to unpack the food bags for the next few weeks and the couple of bouquets of flowers she had bought ‘to liven up the place’ to put them in their respective vases.

Hope hummed along to a muggle song tune that played through the record player, that was lined up with various vinyls, “Remus, why don’t you go on a walk, you’ve helped out loads.” She softly smiled up at her son.

Remus nodded and pressed a kiss to the crown of his mums head before grabbing his jacket to go on his annual walk. It was nothing special, he just liked to walk through the fields with the animals and to say hello to the surrounding neighbours kids who were playing and giggling in the grass.

Really nothing could compete with the serenity and love that cascaded through the many fields of the farm. Something about the country side seemed so perfect to Remus. Better than any city, or any town. To have a peaceful yet beautiful life out here was all he could possibly want.

Even though it was only a few weeks till they met up again, Sirius and Remus had made a promising deal to write a letter every few days to provide an update on each other’s summers. Sirius persisted on not leaving any detail out, so he could imagine exactly where he was whilst he was at the Potters.

It was thankfully Sirius’ third summer at the Potters house, away from his horrible superiority family and house. Him being away from them, served as a tedious comfort and reminder of Sirius’ safety even if he was hours away. James’ parents had almost become like his own, and his house had become Sirius’. Even if they acted like brothers anyway, it was even more of a reassuring factor.

The last few weeks of every summer, James’ parents invites some of James’ friends to their house to stay for the remaining holidays. Those two weeks always gave the best memories, something to always remember happened during that time.

As much as he wished he was laughing with his friends right now, strolling through the fields with flowers and many cows around was something that Remus felt he couldn’t trade for the world.

The golden sun rays reflecting onto the people around and onto the duck pond, it was the perfect picture of heaven. Children around were gleaming with happiness and the parents watched them with just about the same degree of excitement.

There wasn’t many people in the actual fields, more in their parts of their farm in the back garden, all connected by a lake. Apart from one.

A stunning girl twirled and smiled through the flower field, the sun kissing her perfectly as she shone. A lacy white dress adorned her to her thighs to which she also wore a tattered pair of worn, mahogany cowboy boots that shielded her legs from the tickling grass.

Not many older kids visited the farm, if they did they were either here to visit grandparents or just passing through. But taken by the worn boots and the sense of familiarity, Remus felt that this girl wasn’t one of those people. It was like he knew her, but he shook his head at that simply not being possible.

The girl turned around also noticing the tall bronzed brunette walking towards her, instinctively she smiles at the figure. But then a flicker of reminiscence finds her eyes and his eyebrows furrow in question.

“Remus? Remus Lupin, is that you?” The girl shouted, hands on the sides of her mouth to echo her words. Remus still confused waited as the girl lightly ran over to him.

His mouth gaped open, distance not being a problem he could now inspect the girls face, he knew her. Her face was now matured but also carried a vulnerability which he knew all too well.

“Y/n?” He whispered in disbelief, she nods in excitement. “I thought you left.” He shook his head.

“Well, you can never really get rid of me.” She laughed, Remus immediately pulled her into his warm embrace, savouring the feeling. “Six years too long, huh?” She murmured from her face in his neck.

“Where did you even go?” He pulled away to look at her face, to then pull her back into his arms.

She hesitated, “Some like um boarding school, in France,” she smiled, “But i’m moving to another school in Scotland because my mother insists.”

Remus grinned, “does that mean you’ll be coming back here more often?” She nodded and laughed. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he admired her new hairstyle and looked down to accommodate her height, “you look so different, yet so similar.”

She shook her head in agreement, “I could say the same about you, last i remember i was taller than you and you had those circle glasses.” She laughed, recalling his innocence and adorableness. Now he was a whole giant, and had littered of scars all over his face. He was still gorgeous, so beautiful as usual. Even more if possible.

Remus looked to the familiar cottage that she and her family usually stayed in, noticing her not-so-little-anymore siblings playing in the front garden. Her mother, Isabelle, waved to Remus whilst she supported a baby on her hip.

“Willow and James are seven now, and my mum had another baby, Everly, she’s only 2.” Y/n explained, smiling as Remus waved back to her mother. He looked back to her, a supporting smile on his face.

Y/n had always had a loving and supportive family, even when Remus was younger. The age of 11, and he would play with her siblings whilst they were two. He always loved it. Her mother was like his second mother, so intent on being welcoming to Remus and encouraging his and y/n’s friendship.

They had met at the local market around the farm, their mums becoming friends whilst the two only five, shyly waved at each other.

Hope encouraged him to introduce himself and with an adorable smile he mumbled, “My names Remus!” and y/n was the more shy one out of the two of them. She looked up pouting at Isabelle who looked between the two and y/n hesitantly introduced herself, “i’m y/n.”

Then it turned into play dates in the cottage gardens, till they would independently go play games in the fields, like tag or even hide and seek.

“No, Remmy, you’re cheating!” Little y/n giggled as nine year old Remus peeked watching her hide. Remus continuously refused he wasnt each round, until y/n realised every round he knew exactly where she was.

“Thats lovely,” he said, pulling her into yet another side hug, “I still can’t believe your back. You’ll be tired of me by the end of the summer.”

“We’ll always have more summers to look forward to.” She agreed, toying with the freshly picked flowers in her hands that she was planning on weaving into a flower crown.

Remus noticed the sun starting to set and reluctantly turned to say goodbye, “I have to get back, help my mum with dinner,” He softly spoke, y/n dusted her dress and smiled at Remus, “I’ll see you tomorrow, y/n/n.” He playfully ruffled her hair and she yelped in surprise.

Fixing her hair huffing as Remus laughed, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Remmy.” She teased, using their childhood nicknames they had for each other. Remus shook his head, waving to y/n’s mum before walking back towards the cottage.

He smiled to himself, already noting to buy some flowers for her mum. This was going to be the best summer, he decided, strolling back to the cottage entrance where his mother welcomed him.

“Mum, you wouldn’t guess who i saw.” He laughed in disbelief, Hope eagerly sat at the dinning table as Remus relayed the last half an hour to his mum.

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darkdevasofdestruction · 1 year ago

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Heart Sutra ~ Buddha x Goddess! Reader

Gate gate para gate para sam gate bodhi swaha...

"Your pronunciation is getting better, Y/N." King Jataka laid on the grass, underneath a tree, watching the beautiful woman besides him create various models of flower crowns with her magic. "Really? You truly think so?" her charming smile seemed to radiate as bright and warm as the Sun itself. "Yes, I think so. A little more, and you can sing the Heart Sutra perfectly." Jataka found himself smiling also. "Ahh, you are being far too nice, 'Taka." she waved her hand dismissively, returning to her idle work. "Y/N, do you mind if I ask you something?" she hummed, encouraging him to continue. "You are a Goddess. Why have you been staying at my court, disguised as a Bodhisattva?" he asked, deep in thought. Y/N turned her head to look at him properly. "Why, you ask?" Y/N didn't have an immediate answer. "I suppose because it makes me happy." "Does it, really?" he murmured, intrigued. "I think so, yes." she smiled kindly. "Every time I see the smiles of people that I healed, my heart bursts with happiness, and I feel lighter. In this prospect, I suppose that yes, being here, among humans, and aiding them does make me happy." "You are always smiling." Jataka nodded his head, pensive. "You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen." "Jataka." she called out his name, placing the flower down and leaning back on the tree. "What is bothering you?" "Ahaha... Saw right through me, didn't you? No wonder you're a Goddess governing the nature, peace and serenity. Only someone pure and benevolent like yourself could understand my troubled heart." the King spoke softly. "I am nearing the end of my life, and through this, I have come to realise that although I have done my duty well, made my people happy and that my kingdom is flourishing... You see... I feel... Unfulfilled. I feel... Empty. Like there is something missing. I feel... Deep unrest and... Sadness. As though I am nostalgic over something that I have never had... And never will."

"Your reason for sadness is the very reason over which I took a leave of absence from home, up there." Y/N gently wrapped her arms around the King, placing his head on her lap. "There is no creature alive that can feel happiness over being controlled by a higher being. We blame destiny and duty, or even Gods for out sadness... But the truth is, Jataka... We are the masters of our own destiny, and only we have power over our own lives." Y/N looked away with a sarcastic smile. "If only that were entirely true, huh?" "Lavishing in all these material luxuries, being hidden away from any misfortune, I have been ignorant over what it meant to live." the man sighed deeply. "As I watched the starry skies one night, from the balcony, I realised how vast the skies are - And if the skies are endless, then so must the Earth be. I watched birds fly, unhindered by any restraint, and I realised that I was nothing more than a caged falcon, bound by a rope, never allowed to venture too far. Since my birth, I have been told that I must uphold my duties as a prince - As the future King - And I did everything as best as I could, out of filial love and duty for the people I am responsible for." Jataka felt a sense of relief, feeling the Goddess' hand gently caressing his silvery locks. "Do you think I am selfish, Y/N? For wishing for my own happiness, for once?" "No, Jataka. I do not think you are selfish. Truth is..." though Y/N smiled, it was bitter, and a tear escaped down her cheek. "I am just a little upset that you did not realise it until it was too late." a few more tears followed close behind, surprising the young King. "You are such a good man, Jataka. It always pains me, seeing young men and women like you, who have done only good in their life, and are repaid with only misfortune. I hate how unfair life can be, and I hate that I am unable of meddling with diseases that humans cannot conquer yet. If I were to keep every living being alive, forever, than it would only bring calamity and a disbalance of life." Jataka felt a pang of pain in his heart, realising the emotional woman before him cared so much for him and all the people she governed over - Despite all the births, deaths and rebirths that she's witnessed over the course of aeons, for as long as she has been alive - She still couldn't get over the suffering of loss. "But if I make an exception with you, then I would have to make an exception with everyone, as my heart wouldn't allow me to spare one over the other. A cruel fate, out of which I cannot escape. And you, Jataka, are correct, you are no different - A beautiful song bird, trapped in a golden cage, embellished with the most precious jewels, forced to sing the songs of the nobles, yet unable to break free and witness and experience the world in front of your eyes; Unable to spread your wings and feel the air brushing through your feathers."

Y/N felt two gentle hands cradling her face, wiping away her diamond beads of tears which created blooming flowers where they fell on the ground. Jataka smiled, and kissed her forehead. "Having your love means more to me than anything else in the world." he spoke in a soft voice which mellowed the Goddess' heart further into trembling with emotion. "Though I cannot live the life that I wished, nor live eternal in this mortal husk that my body is - I have a single wish, that only you may fulfill. It is the only thing that can bring me a little comfort. Can you promise me something, please?" "Of course. I will do anything." she placed her hands over his own, intertwining their fingers together. "Please, take care of Siddhartha for me. He is still young and naive, still fooled by the luxuries of the palace. He needs you, the same as I do. He is a good man. Please, care for him the same as you did for me." the two locked eyes, and their hearts came to a deep understanding. A vow was formed, for millennia to come. "I will."

Weeks passed by, and though Siddhartha had no clue that Y/N was actually a Goddess, he enjoyed his time spent with her and Jataka. Ever since she appeared at his Kingdom, quite a while ago, he felt that those two were kindred spirits, in ways that few could accomplish, as though they could understand each other simply through looks and smiles. Or maybe that's how mature adults think. One of the two, he wasn't quite sure. Either way, he often teased Jataka about taking her as one of his wives. He always got scolded when he did.

Y/N wasn't the most talkative, but he always appreciated her care for everyone, including him. All her kind words and sweet actions towards people made the young man want to spend more and more time with her.

At some point, he even came over to her, offering flowers - He had the most innocent, boyish grin - He was so adorable, really. Still, for some reason, Y/N only smiled sweetly at him, kissing his cheek and went away. Though he was flustered, he also felt... Rejected? Maybe his intentions weren't obvious enough? He wasn't quite sure - Not to mention, Jataka just laughed, but gave him no answer. Was he teasing him? Ha!

Jataka's time was nearing its end, and for the first time since they've known each other, Siddhartha was met with a confusing confession for his elder brother figure - The validity of his happiness. Was he happy, truly? Was the material world was the soul's fulfillment was? Or perhaps he was too shallow to realise... Or too inexperienced? Jataka said he realised how much he wanted to see the world and... Live. Alas, he couldn't, not only because of his illness, but because of his duties as a King, trapped in the comforting gold of his kingdom.

He panicked, seeing his older brother's bitter smile, looking into the horizon at the setting Sun, and he felt dread, watching the blood dripping down his hand as he continued to cough.

When the country went into deep mourning, he was shocked not to see Y/N anywhere. She must be glued to the coffin, no doubt. Everyone knew she was the closest person Jataka ever had. As Siddhartha rode towards the kingdom, he saw the people sobbing and weeping for their deceased King.

"The life I lived, who did it belong to, in the end?"

"Do you truly think I am a happy person?"

These questions rung through Siddhartha's mind, as soon as he heard that one assumption - "The king must have been truly happy."

But was he, really? Who's to say he was actually happy? The kingdom's prosperity? The people's well-being? No war, nor famine or plague in the lands he was governing?

At once, Siddhartha came to a revelation. He jumped off his horse, and weeping, he started cackling loudly, making people believe his grief drove him to madness.

As expected, as soon as he entered in the temple, he was met with sobbing people, lots of flowers, and a single woman glued to the King's coffin. Yes, Y/N loved flowers, and consequently, so did Jataka - Hence why Siddhartha gathered a whole basket of field flowers and strutted all the way to the coffin, throwing flowers around.

"Siddhartha...?" Y/N's sweet voice called out to him softly as she rose her crying face to look up at him. "You were right. I understand now, and I admit, you were right." he smiled at her. "I won't say it a second time though." "What are you talking about?" Siddhartha moved his gaze to Jataka, and offered a melancholic smile. "Hey, bro. You 'bout ready to go out of here?" with extraordinary strength, Siddhartha picked Y/N and placed her gingerly on his shoulder, as his other hand held Jataka's coffin. He was completely deaf to all the others yelling at him to stop his mad actions. "Piss off. Whatever Gods you're praying at today - My bro Jataka doesn't need their blessings. Because happiness... Comes from within."

Y/N gasped hearing his bold words - And she started crying. She was proud of him. Afternoon came, and the two knelt on the ground, gazing at the beautiful King amongst the flowers, having his coffin lowered onto the river sheen. "You are free, my friend. Now go and find your happiness yourself." they watched him disappear into the horizon, engulfed into the red rays of the beautiful Sun.

For the first time in the many years since they've known each other, Siddhartha witnessed Y/N offering him her undivided attention. As soon as the silhouette of the coffin was visible no more, she threw her arms around his torso and sobbed like a child. Siddharta smiled, moved that someone cared so much for his bro, and he held her smaller form into his embrace. "Why are you crying so much, you little crybaby? Don't you know - Suffering is only a concept bound to the material world. One day, when we enter Samsara, our souls will reunite with Bro's, and we will be friends again, in our next life - Again, and again, until we reach awakening and attain Nirvana." his words sounded so wise, unlike the childish beliefs of yester-year. "It is alright to upset, the wound is still fresh and ablaze. But Y/N - One should find happiness in remembering the beautiful memories guiding your future, rather than mourning the past." "I am so proud of you, Siddhartha." her words were nothing that he expected, and the young man was taken aback. "You are right. Yes, you are entirely right. If only that life was kinder to benevolent souls like yourself and Jataka." she continued vaguely.

Y/N rose her head to look up at him, a wide smile through her tears. "But, Siddhartha, you see - That truth only applies to mortals. As a Goddess, seeing beautiful souls die so young... Beautiful flowers withering all around you, as the garden you tended with so much love and care dies upon winter... It hurts every time, and no matter how many thousands of years pass, I cannot get over the suffering that loss has on me." Siddharta frowned slightly, confused at her statement. "Goddess, you say? Ha! That's funny." he grinned at her. "You see, I have just come to the realisation that I absolutely despise anything that tries to control my actions. I am a firm believer that we seam the tapestry of our own lives through the choices we make. Now I understand why Bro was so upset last time we met. You knew all this, didn't you, you little minx?" "Of course I did." she huffed lightly. "Siddhartha - Do you hate me for not saving Jataka? Now that you know my identity, you must be very upset that I just let him die." The young man let out an over-dramatic hum, placing his hand to his chin as if to mock thinking, before he popped out a negative answer. At least he retained his childish vitality. "What are you Goddess over, anyway? You healed people. Goddess of Life or what?" "Nature, Peace and Serenity." Siddhartha let out a sound of understanding. "No wonder I and Bro felt so good around you! It's like everything was good around you!" he cackled weirdly. "Must be hard on you, huh?" his theatrical expression turned more gentle and kind. "Having to take care of so many things at once. You know, my wife told me once that she can feel what our child feels. I'm not sure how it works, but it must be similar with you and everything you create right?" Y/N nodded her head, albeit, bewildered at the accurate comparison that he figured out on the spot. "Having to feel the emotion of every living being must be a huge pain in the ass." Y/N giggled in amusement. "I love and care for every living being, Siddhartha. It is like a gardener tending to a flower garden. Every human, every animal, every tree. Everything has life, and their vitality, their energy surges through my veins." she explained, taking a step back. She rose her hands up to take his hair away from his tail, letting it swish with the wind. His hair was so long, that it matches her own. "You dig in the dirt with your own fingers, and you bury the seed of life. Every morning, every afternoon and night, you tend to this seed, and care for it - You water it and fertilize it, protect it from parasites and the harsher weathers. When it comes up from under the first, you see the cutest, littlest sprout, braving to live and grow more. You watch it get bigger, and stronger over the course of many days, until finally, it reaches maturity, and it blossoms into the most beautiful flower." she smiled widely, creating a gorgeous flower crown, which she placed on his head. "But once it reaches maturity, the risk of illness increases. It matures until it grows old. You watch it lose its vibrant colours, the petals fall off one by one, until only a frail stem remains, falling from the faintest breeze, until finally, the roots rot, and the flower is no more." Siddhartha's grim comment about life made Y/N's beautiful gem-like eyes gleam with emotion. "So is life, yes." despite being overwhelmed with emotion, Y/N continued to speak. "Out of all my flowers - Siddhartha, you are my most beautiful lotus flower, and I am most proud of you." the young man blushed in surprised. "Creating humans, creating life - It is the effort of the collective of Gods, not mine alone; But creating, and caring for, is different. I may not be able to look over every living being in this large, large world, but I am most honoured that I was able to meet you and see you grow into such a wise young man."

At once, Siddhartha pulled Y/N into a tight hug, swinging her around enthusiastically. "Awwww, you're the sweetest! You're making me blush!" Y/N was quickly beginning to get dizzy from all the twirling and swinging around from the awfully strong prince. "What did you promise Bro?" "Oh? You knew about that?" Y/N chuckled softly, trying to regain her balance. "I promised that I would take care of you, the same way I did for him." Siddharta grinned widely. "Nope!" Y/N looked at him, a little confused. "I've got a better idea, actually." he brought Y/N at arm's length, his hands placed firmly on her shoulders. "You knew I liked you, didn't you?" Y/N nodded her head. "But a mortal doesn't live long enough, so they can't hang around an immortal, huh?" Y/N's eyes lingered towards the river, before nodding again. "Welp, I've got an idea!" his dazzling smile was more charming than any God. "You see, I want to go on a pilgrimage, all by myself. I want to find myself, and my own happiness. I want to find my purpose. I need to do this alone - Though don't worry, if I am to encounter a like-minded friend, then we will travel together." he spoke. "Will you wait for my return, Y/N? Until I reach my Enlightenment and become an iteration of myself with which I can be proud of?" Y/N smiled dearly at the young man, glowing like the morning Sun. "I will wait for you for as many cycles it takes you to find me again. I hope that, by the time you return, you will have achieved true happiness, and I can see your beautiful smile again. Siddhartha."

The young man smiled brightly before pulling Y/N into a sweet kiss. "Something to look forward to." he gave her a peace sign before walking away. "See ya, Y/N! Laters!" "Have a safe journey, you little troublemaker." Y/N smiled dearly, waving at him. Though life as a God was long and tedious, and relationships were shallow, she felt a pure love like she's never experienced before. Whether she sees the young man again or not, she knew he was going to be just fine.

Since then, Y/N returned to the Gods, continuing her boring life, watching over the nature of Earth from above. Life truly wasn't all that exciting for deities living so long, but once in a while, something big happens - Big enough for the whole foundation of Valhalla to shake to the core.

If a human becoming a demi-God wasn't exceptional enough, considering the bravery and righteousness that Heracles displayed; A man had somehow attained supreme spiritual awakening, and ascended to the title of Buddha the Enlightened, the Wise. A human achieved Godhood.

Siddhartha Gautama

As soon as he saw the Goddess, completely frozen from shock of seeing him in Heavens, he let out a childish squeal and leapt on her, rubbing his cheek on her face as though he's a kitten or something. He told her how much he missed her and what not - Surprise! He even had his own brand of delicious lollipops to share with her! And lots and lots of chocolate too! Oh, and they had so much to catch up!

He told Y/N all about his journey and the people he met, those he guided on their path to achieving happiness, and all the sightseeing he did. Best of all, he reminisced all the awakening he did over the years - And how much he missed her! Haha, a joke - He is always determined to get what he wants, so of course, he was patient. Craving would only bring him suffering, thus the knowledge of knowing the Goddess was there, waiting for him, soothed his worried into a calm peace of mind.

Siddhartha - Now, Buddha - Still felt so giddy, being called by his name. Only Y/N could call him that, of course! No one else had that privilege. The more she spoke his name, the happier he was. Buddha ended up playfully pinning Y/N to the bed, kissing all over her face and tickling her, feeling his heart lighter with every sweet giggle she let. When she couldn't take the tickling anymore, the Goddess wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him flush against her chest; She took off his hair tie once again, and the pretty crown-like accessory holding it in a lotus-like style, and she caressed his locks soothingly. "I missed you." three simple words, yet they had the strongest effect on him. He felt compelled to engulf her in his strong arms, cuddling together, two hearts soulbound for an eternity of spiritual happiness.

Many, many years passed, and Buddha and Y/N were inseparable. Gods may argue, and so do humans, but never once did anyone even see them disagree on anything, let alone argue. Was it the endless patience and compassion of the Buddha, or that Y/N was always too kind to say anything that might upset someone, and detested confrontation; She'd rather walk away, or smile, instead of disagreeing with anyone.

That was their biggest similarity, but also, their biggest difference - Buddha was never one to back away from a fight against someone he couldn't stand - In his case, most of the Gods. Ironic, isn't it, he told Y/N so many times; How one can detest the very being they became, with the same strength that they love another just as much. He was a God who hated Gods, yet a God, who loved a Goddess as much as he loved the happiness and freedom he achieved.

"You have to find your own happiness within you." he told her once, watching Y/N dancing around the forest. Everywhere she stepped, flowers grew. "That may be so, Siddhartha - But my happiness increases whenever I see you." she bent to his side, grabbing his wrists and pulling him up to dance with her. Though all kinds of flowers bloomed wherever she stepped, hence why she always walked with no shoes on; Where Buddha stepped, beautiful white lilies grew. Together, they created endless flower gardens, more ethereal than any other God could make.

One would think eternal bliss was in store for them - Alas, one so connected to Nature as Y/N, was bound to suffer greatly, to the hands of the mankind she cherished so much. Buddha often saw how Y/N would try to sneak away into the forests, all alone. Though he hadn't seen her, he could sense her distress, her agony. After the third time that she refused to confide in him, preferring to keep the problem hidden, the newly Awaken God decided to confront her himself.

Instead, once he arrived at the edge of the forest, he found Y/N collapsed on the grass, writhing in pain. Panicked, he fell to his knees, cradling her in his arms, calling out her name; She seemed feverish and weak, but Gods couldn't contract illnesses, could they? Surely, they can't. He held her tight in her embrace, wishering the Heart Sutra in her ear over and over again, until finally, her breathing evened out, and the pain subsided.

"Pfeww, don't scare me like that, gorgeous! You're going to give me a heart attack!" he collapsed on his back dramatically. "Forgive me... I didn't want you to see me like this." Y/N sighed, rolling on the grass next to him. "I did not want you to see me cursing the humanity that I loved so much." "Humanity caused you this pain? What do you mean?" he turned to his side, his blue water lily eyes widening. "Take a look for yourself." she guided him to the edge of the floating forest. "Look there - They are at war. Countless people are dying all at once, the grass is drowning in blood, the animals are perishing." she sighed softly, before pointing to the opposite side. "And there - The deforestation, the excessive hunting - That whole hill is bare of life and decrepit, all so that humans may build and build and build some more." "Ahh, I see, so I was more right than I realised, though to think it would affect you to the point of being physically ill. My poor, poor baby Y/N!" he threw his arms around her, rolling on the grass with her dramatically. There was nothing that he could do to save her from this - It was the course that humanity took for itself, but perhaps there might be a way to somehow detach her, even by a little bit, from her connection with that which was created. Perhaps, that-a-way, the suffering may subside. Until then, however, he can only distract her with his love and playfulness. It was working wonders.

For thousands of years, humanity existed, with the will of the Gods, until that will was no more. Even Aphrodite herself, disgusted with the state of the world, agreed to decimate mankind. Shocked with the outcome, Y/N was the first to step forward and protest. Though she couldn't see Buddha looking at her, she could feel his presence and his lingering gaze. She wanted to fight for the mankind that destroyed her from within. None of the actions of humanity were directly affecting either of the Gods, except for her for the most part. She was the only one with the validity of voting, and if she wanted mankind to continue living, she had every right to vouch for them.

But they didn't care for her opinions - Instead, they laughed, saying her pain will disappear along with the humans, and she can achieve serendipity. How ridiculous. Thankfully, Brunhilde's plan of inducing Ragnarok worked, and thus, the thirteen fights were to take place.

Worried, Y/N quickly rushed out of the conference room, needing some time alone to regain herself. She was panicking and afraid. True, eliminating the humans was bound to relieve her heart of suffering - But at what cost? There were so many good people, innocent people out there, who did nothing wrong. Why should they perish, for the mistakes of others? Like how Adam and Even were cast away from Heaven, due to the disgusting lies and deceit of the Snake, so will billions and billions of other people suffer eternal Doomsday.

It wasn't fair.

A mother doesn't kill their own child for misbehaving. The Gods were being as selfish as always.

"N'aww, sweet-cheeks, don't tell me you're crying again! You know it breaks my heart seeing you like this!" though Buddha wasn't expecting to be pinned to the wall, Y/N's fingers digging deep into his shoulders. "We can't let them die, Siddhartha! We can't! They are innocent!" Y/N cried out, looking into his beautiful eyes. "Please, don't tell me you're on their side! We can't - We can't let them die! But what can we do? We are so few, against so many of them - And they're all so unreasonable and short-sighted." Buddha felt pain in his heart, listening to the distress of her voice, seeing the glimmering of her eyes. "I know! I'll... I'll fight for mankind! I... I've never fought in my life... But I am the Goddess of Peace. To know Peace is to know War; and to know War, is to know Peace. One must protect that which he holds dear. That's right, isn't it?" "Y/N." he called out in a gentle, calm voice. "Please, calm down." "Siddhartha...?" she found herself calling out his name. "You and I - We are soulbound, aren't we? We want the same thing. And you, more than anyone else in this world, know how much I hate being told what to do." he pulled her into a deep kiss. "And I'll be damned before I allow anyone to make you cry." Her distressed look turned into a content smile of relief, and she snuggled into his arms. "I love you so much." those words never failed to make his heart leap with joy.

Once Ragnarok began, Heimdall would call out the champions of the Gods, while Y/N would call the Mankind warriors to come over. It was the least she could do, apart from encouraging each of the fighters.

Mankind had a staggering two consecutive losses, and each time, Y/N took the short pause between matches to weep and regain herself. Staying in the ring for the duration of the fight, she used her magical powers to create a strong shield for the audience, so that none of the match-attacks would mistakenly harm anyone watching.

She felt sad yet emboldened seeing Lu Bu's tragic death, but also, his horse and brothers in arms asking for death, to be reunited in Niflheim with their General. She saw Thor smile for the first time in his life, after having fought with all of his mind against an honorable and strong member of mankind. Likewise, her heart shattered watching Adam's conviction is protecting his children from perdition, the very same she wished.

Thankfully, the great Sasaki was able to slash to death none other than Poseidon himself; Though not the most agreeable person, she still felt sad to see him gone forever. Alas. Y/N hugged the old man, thanking him for his resilience and strength before picking him up and bringing him to the infirmary.

The same happened with Jack the Ripper, a man despised by all mankind and humanity for being the scum of the earth. Y/N knew better - She knew all of their lives. In truth, though she disagreed with his actions, she pitied Jack, the poor man. He truly was a pitiable one. Unlike Poseidon, Heracles was wept by all, Gods and humans alike, whilst Jack got ostracised, ridiculed and insulted, even having stones thrown at him, despite already being injured. That angered Y/N.

"How dare you speak ill of the man who put his life on the line for humanity to keep living?! He has no descendants, he has no family - He fought for humanity, though he had nothing to gain out of it! He got the recognition of Heracles himself, and tied the score against the Gods with his shrewdness and wit - And yet you dare talk down to him? I don't see you in here, facing the wrath of the Gods who want you dead!" Buddha felt himself cackling from the stand, watching the Goddess pick up a grown man like he was a bride and actively healing him with love and care like none other before. What a darling she always was.

Unfortunately, Mankind lost the 5th match, with poor Raiden dying against Shiva, the God of Destruction. Still, the only good thing coming out of all the matches was that Y/N could sense the fighting Gods getting genuine admiration for the strength, selflessness and righteousness of humanity, beginning with Thor calling Lu Bu his friend, Zeus acknowledging Adam's strength in protecting his kin, Sasaki defeating Poseidon himself, Heracles loving humanity and Jack himself, and Shiva admiring Raiden's power.

And thus, the sixth match was to take place. The doors opened, and two rows of seven pink water lilies appeared - The familiar silhouette of Buddha appeared. Y/N looked at his unbothered face, blowing up bubblegum, his weapon lazily swung over his shoulder. He was smirking, winking at Y/N mischievously, reveling in the spotlight before he stepped by the Goddess' side and pulled her over into his side as he got to where the human representative was to stand.

He spit his gum in Heimdall's hand, snatching away his Gjallarhorn. "Excuse me. Testing. Testing." he spoke into the horn. "Uhhh... I'm gonna fight for Mankind. Ya dig?" the whole arena was in ecstasy. Numerous comments were thrown around, denigrating Buddha as he shattered the horn in his grasp. "Piss off." he pointed with his weapon towards Zeus. "Y'all made my girl cry. Screw you. If the Gods aren't going to save mankind, then I will. And if any God gets in my way..." he slammed the butt of the weapon into the ground, his expression now serious and devoid of any joy. "I'll kill 'em."

He truly is the kind not to take orders from anyone. Though Heimdall tried to press on that he can't switch sides, Zeus himself approved anyway. "Are you prepared to make enemies with all of the Gods?" "Dang, you're such a pain!" Buddha scoffed at Odin, pulling Y/N even closer to his side. "Remember what I said before? Whether you're allies or enemies, good or evil, Gods or Humans, none of that matters!" Buddha was glowing brightly with intense confidence. "In all universe, nothing else matters, except me!"

Such a narcissistic comment, added to the intense frustration of the Gods, made Y/N burst into laughter along with him. Two weirdos. "So, who am I fighting?"

The Seven Fortunes stepped into the arena and fused into a single deity. Vaisravana was no more, and instead, one called Zerofuku appeared. The Eight Gods of Fortune were actually a single entity. This Zerofuku guy was a real weirdo, even for their standards, and he confessed his intense wish to slaughter Buddha with all of his might, as he created his sinister weapons which got bigger and bigger the more misfortune he encountered.

Though Y/N didn't know of Zerofuku's past, he knew Buddha. He was able to take the misfortune of the humans into his own body, until he couldn't any more, only to receive discontempt and realise that those he tried to help were in no way less misfortunate than before. Material luxury and sinful indulgences did nothing to appease the soul. Instead, Zerofuku had to witness strings of people following Buddha in his path to Enlightenment. He got jealous, unable to understand his teachings - Yet somehow, no matter how cryptic or enigmatic Zerofuku found Buddha's words, the other people - Including those whom he helped previously - Began following the Awakened One close behind.

The more Zero attacked, the bigger his weapon grew, for Buddha could see the flickers of his soul and evade all the hits before they even happened. He was even taunting the God, intentionally or not, driving him into a mad frenzy. The few attacks that Buddha threw all landed with tremendous effect, earning cheers and applause from the audience.

Though he couldn't see Y/N reaction, Buddha was sure she was a worrying mess - That's her caring nature, after all - Yet seeing Zero's weapon growing as large as the whole arena, and him not moving from his spot, well - He feared she might be fainting on the spot, like a poor damsel in distress. Well, he'll just have to sweep her off her feet and protect her like the chevalier of light that he is!

Y/N knew, in theory, that Buddha's weapon transformed in each of the Six Paths identities depending on his emotions, and with his being a master at controlling his moods, he could form anything at will, more or less, so she wasn't all that surprised when the weapon transformed into a Shield to block the huge weapon. Still, she almost wished she could see all of the Paths.

Next, he used the Spiked Club of Nirvana, trembling to charge in an attack - And so he did, sweeping to the ground and causing lethal damage on the demon's side. The demon's weapon turned into two swords, to which Buddha made his weapon turn into a large halbert, easily countering every one of Zero's attacks. His misfortune was increasing, and his weapon turned into a multitude of hooks acting like snakes - He retaliated with a Vajra, running around and cutting them away to bits.

"Love yourself!" Buddha encouraged the poor demon. "I actually like you quite a lot, Zerofuku." that comment made the misfortunate one start sobbing and staring at the graceful God, shining brighter than the golden Sun. Zero's anger subsided and he finally understood who he really is, and what he wants from life. His weapon disappeared, and Buddha also threw his own to the ground, proposing an outright fist-fight. What a child, Y/N giggled, watching that playful smirk on his face as he intentionally allowed the pitiable demon to strike him back. Y/N could never image ever letting herself feel physical hurt just for fun - Alas, men were weird, and Buddha especially, was one of a kind.

Zerofuku was on the ground, sprawled, with all his misfortune and anger seeping out of his in a cloud. His purple hair turned pure white, and his blissful grin, that childlike innocence and glee were sparkling in his eyes. Buddha, also, was happy to have helped another worthy person achieve spiritual happiness - Until the horns on either side of his skull penetrated deep into his brain, worming their way inside his body. Zerofuku was engulfed by two dragons, one blue and one red. Buddha could do nothing to safe his new friend. Instead, he was forced to watch Zero disappearing, and a true evil appearing in his stead.

The Demon King of the Sixth Heaven, Papiyas, was reborn.

Buddha immediately leapt back, afraid for the first time, for there was a creature of pure darkness, whom he couldn't read. He hadn't an inkling of brightness in his soul which he could read. Y/N, like everyone else, was trembling from the sheer malevolence of the demon. Terrifying, Y/N ran in front of Buddha, standing protectively in front of him - She knew, if need be, her defense magic was second to none in Valhalla.

There goes this legend about a terrifying foe from Helheim - Hades told her this story once, dating before he was ruled of the Underworld - That this enemy destroyed half of the realm... Or rather, it was lucky enough that even half of it was left intact, to some degree.

Once Papiyas turned his arm into a weapon, Y/N summoned her polearm into her grasp, parrying the attack. The Gods all gasped - It has been thousands of years since they've seen the Goddess of Peace fight. In truth, it was only during the Titanomachy that she fought - To protect her Peace, one must go to War. It was an irony that she had to accept as a true axioma.

"H-Hey, Y/N, it's not your fight! Two people can't fight for a single side!" she heard Heimdall's shaky voice call out. "To hell with your rules, Heimdall! If this freak doesn't die, we're all screwed!" Y/N growled, struggling to push him back, counter and block all of his strikes that came at the speed of lightning. "If Zeus accepted the intervention of the Valkyries for all the other fights, then for goodness' sake, there's hardly any difference, is there?!" "I SHALL ALLOW IT!" Zeus' amused voice called out from the stands, as Y/N leapt back, just a step in front of Buddha. She was breathing heavily from the effort. "Siddhartha, stand back." her overprotectiveness was taking over her senses. "I will fight with my fullest power." Papiyas glared at the two. "THAT WAS YOU HOLDING BACK?!" Y/N cried out at him. "Gosh... Buddha, come over." quickly, Y/N placed a few flowers in his hair. "This will protect you from harm... I hope." she muttered the last bit, watching as Papiyas was preparing a drill-like strike called the Pandaemonium Cycle. Before she could react, Buddha dragged Y/N behind him, pulling his shield up - But the drill was capable of penetrating through it, gouging his left eye out.

"S...Siddhartha...?!" Y/N started, shuddering in distress at her lover's injury. He protected her, while he got his eye drilled into mush. "Don't worry about me, worry about that monster!" Buddha transformed his weapon into the sword away, engaging in an exchange of slashes that barely left a scar on the demon's neck. Buddha had to make adjustments to his attacks, because of his blindspot. fighting with one eye only as he was gradually being whittled down.

"Judgement." Papiyas smirked, impaling Buddha's foot, urging him to leap back once again. Y/N couldn't believe there were idiot Gods out there, begging for Buddha's death - Idiots. The Demon King pointed out Zerofuku was no more - He ate him - Shocking both Buddha and Y/N. What a monster, they thought, and the Enlightened one was feeling even more angered, enough to curse at him. "I've made up my mind. I'm gonna KILL YOU!" Y/N, nor anyone else, ever saw Buddha's wrath. Hopefully, it will serve him and humanity well. His staff transformed into the Hatred Emotion which created a weapon he's never seen before, the Warscythe of Salakaya, which had a menacing head of a roaring lion on it. "Preposterous." Papiyas spat. "For a piece of trash such as you, to defy a supreme being like me... I will waste no time passing judgement! And nothing could be more pleasant than that!" his laugh roared through the whole arena. "Stick that judgement up your ass, you sick fuck!" the audience gasped with the curse of the Goddess as Buddha attacked first with his blade, before unleashing an infernal fire towards the demon.

Blood spilled to the ground, though Buddha was the most confused of all. He was the one who initiated the attack, and it was his blade that cut away at Papiyas' arm. It was him who was supposed to get impaled by the enemy's weapon - So why the hell was Y/N standing before him like a meat shield, while he was unscathed?! "Y/N...?" his single remaining eye was wide with shock, staring at the blood splattering to the ground, and the soft tremble of her body. "The flower protected you." Y/N smiled weakly. "That is my happiness in life. Caring for those I hold dear to my heart." she giggled softly. "How pathetic. Any last words?" Papiyas grunted menacingly. "The whole world shall freeze over before I allow a pathetic little shit like you hurt my children. You, and all the Gods that oppose us - All who wish for mankind's erasure - I will fucking burn you all to death until there's nothing left of you to commemorate your wretched existence." Y/N smirked, grabbing Papiyas' arm and forcing herself through the weapon, sticking her own blade into his shoulder. That pissed the demon enough to kick her into the God behind her, toppling them to the ground. "Never do that again!" Buddha briefly scolded her. "Sorry, love, but I will do that, for as many times as my body keeps holding me. I am not strong, but I am resilient. It is you who can kill him, not me. If you are alive, we can win this. Together." Buddha got up, glaring angrily at the demon. "You have twice more, Siddhartha. That is my limit. After that, you're on your own. Use my power wisely." Buddha understood the implication well enough without any explanation - If he gets careless again, Y/N will die, protecting him. Similar to the story of the Moon Rabbit, so is she; Whilst the monkey, the fox and the bird gathered fruit, mean and nuts for the traveler to eat, the rabbit, knowing it could only gather some grass, threw itself into the fire for the man to eat him. Moved by the selflessness of the rabbit, the traveler, who was actually Sakra himself, made it so that the fire did not burn the rabbit, and instead, created the moon in its liking, and the fumes that would have burnt it, the fog surrounding it.

Still, Siddhartha did NOT want to see Y/N actually killing herself like that; Though an admirable and selfless act, he did not want to mourn her, the way he did Jataka long ago. He had to win. He MUST win.

"You're weak. Way weaker than Zero." Buddha taunted the Demon King into attacking him, and he parried all of his hits for as long as he could, before getting kicked away again. His continuing of the mocking caused the Demon King such rage, that he managed to find the perfect opening through his attack, impaling him again - Only, it wasn't him, but Y/N, much to Buddha's dismay. "Damn it, Y/N! Damn it, damn it, damn it!" he wanted to destroy the last flower in his hair, but he didn't have the strength. "One last chance, Siddhartha. Don't waste it." Y/N felt so weak as she got thrown away to the other side of the arena, rolling to the ground like a used ragdoll. "Y/N!" she heard her lover called out, afraid for her life - But as long as the flower of life was pulsating energy within him, he was reassured she was still alive and continuing to actively heal him.

Buddha continued his plan of mocking the enemy, causing him uncharacteristic fright, to the point that he tore off his arm to create a mighty weapon.

Buddha attacked again, though surprisingly, the blade of his Scythe got cut off and shattered to the ground. "Seriously...?!" he gasped, not having expected his Divine Treasure to break, of all things. He tried to defend with his staff, but that, too, broke, sending him away. He was sent to the ground, crashing down with such force that he couldn't move. "SIDDHARTHA!" Y/N cried, crawling to his side and holding him in her arms. She tried desperately to heal him, but he was unconscious, thus nothing she could do. As Papiyas was menacingly approaching, Y/N used her weapon to hoist herself up, creating a shield to protect the two until he woke up.

Thankfully, Buddha achieved enlightenment once again, and he got up, holding Zerofuku's old weapon. The crown holding his hair together shattered, and his gorgeous hair was shown for all to see. "Thank you, Y/N, Zero. Let's fight together, yes?" Y/N smiled sweetly, seeing him confident once again. "Yeah. Let's." despite her bloodloss, Y/N smiled, preparing her weapon. "Samavadhana Volundr!" Buddha and Zero together created a Divine Weapon that only Buddha could attaint through sublime enlightenment. A gorgeous and strong weapon, containing the strength and feelings of all the Gods of Fortune.

Ready to fight, Buddha kept up perfectly with the Demon King, parrying all of his attacks as strong as never before - And he was grinning, confident and self assured, even managing to inflict massive damage, at the cost of some minor injuries on himself. Still, he had to finish things fast, before either he or Y/N perish. He managed to slash away perfectly at his chest one again, though it wasn't as deep as he'd have liked. The climax was approaching fast. Y/N stepped by his side, holding his hand to transfer the last bit of energy into him, so he could keep going - At this rate, he'd only get more injuries, so at least he must keep his vitality and strength, for as long as it lasts. The one sided exchange of life that only Y/N could gift to another.

No matter how Papiyas continued to attack, Buddha was so fast and accurate that no more hit grazed him. The last ultimate attack of the Demon King - All thought landed, but instead, it was a clone, crumbling in an array of petals. Y/N grinned impishly, pointing behind him, as Buddha was ready to kill the foe.

Just as he turned, the last thing Papiyas saw was Buddha's Godly form, perfect beyond boundaries existent to Godhood, and the sword of light, love and compassion shined bright through the dark arena, slicing down the Demon King in two or three. different parts. It didn't matter that Papiyas tried to attack again, for Y/N slapped his hand away, watching as Niflheim was crumbling him to dust.

Somewhere in the sky, the light of heaven showed the happy soul of Zerofuku and the other Seven Gods of Fortune, ascending to Nirvana - Together, in friendship. Buddha couldn't contain his tears of glee, as he brought Y/N into his side, holding the sword dearly into his grasp. Everyone was chanting Buddha's name as he reveled in his win. The sword disappeared, but a bird that loved Zero sat on it, weeping for the loss of its benefactor.

Barely able to stand up, Buddha used all of his strength to drag Y/N out of the arena - Somehow, he was rather sure she was in a far worse shape than he was, having taken two direct hits like that. Not only that, but the refreshing feeling of the gentle caress that Y/N's energy felt, healing him, was keeping him very much alive and giddy. "You were so cool, Y/N. I didn't know you could do all that." Y/N smiled enigmatically. "They say true strength can be found when protecting that which is dearest to you. The truth is, Siddhartha, that I love you more than anything else is this world. You make me the happiest I've ever been." "Ha! Hear you, all sappy and sweet! Y'know you're gonna make me melt!" he cackled, pulling her into a gentle kiss, afraid of causing her more pain. "Let's get all better and continue rooting for humanity, yes? We've done all we could. The rest is their burden to bear - And I think they've done a pretty damn good job so far, don't you think?" "Hella." when she lost strength in her legs, Buddha immediately reacted, picking her up and cradling her in his arms like a princess. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you did that intentionally." he teased her, kissing her forehead. "If most of my blood was inside of me, and not out in the arena, it would have been intentional." she smirked back at him just as comically.

After getting the much required medical care, they continued watching the matches from the comfort of their chamber, laying on the comfortable, fluffy bed, cuddled in each other's arms. Y/N had tied his hair up again, and instead of his golden crown, she replaced it with one made of flowers. He, in return, caressed her hair until she relaxed completely, singing softly the Heart Sutra for her, for as long as it took for her to achieve a much needed peace.

All things are empty: Nothing is born, nothing dies, Nothing is pure, nothing is stained, Nothing increases and nothing decreases. So, in emptiness, there is no body, No feeling, no thought, No will, no consciousness.

There are no eyes, no ears, No nose, no tongue, No body, no mind. There is no seeing, no hearing, No smelling, no tasting, No touching, no imagining. There is nothing seen, nor heard, Nor smelled, nor tasted, Nor touched, nor imagined.

#record of ragnarok x reader #record of ragnarok imagine #record of ragnarok #buddha x reader #buddha imagine #buddha #buddha ror #ror buddha #record of ragnarok buddha #buddha record of ragnarok #buddha ror x reader #buddha ror imagine #siddhartha gautama #ror #ror x reader #ror imagine

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azsazz · 1 year ago

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Whispers in the Wind

Azriel x Reader

Summary: The Split-Fic is here!! @writingsbychlo and I are so excited for this! Featuring Tamlin's sister!reader as she navigates life after losing her family.

Warnings: Angst

Word Count: 823

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The vast gardens surrounding the Willow manor are always beautiful in the peak of summer. Vibrant lilacs and blush flowers bloom far and wide not only across the Spring Court but live perfectly contained in the lavish garden of your brother’s estate; preened and watered daily by the house staff.

Just like you.

You sigh, pushing away from the bench by your window. Your linen skirts whisper against the floor as you stride across your room, flinging yourself onto your bed. It feels much too big for only yourself, but yet you were all you had, with your brothers and parents gone, save for Tamlin. Your heart yearns in your chest—to bask beneath the summer sun that reminds you so much of them, Neo and Wells chasing you around with teasing grins and flowers for your hair.

You miss them, even if they did fight a lot, both in training and out. Neo was the oldest of the four of you, fiercely protective and you thought him more intelligent than even the Surial sometimes. And Wells was a master of the sword, always willing and more than ready to answer with his fists. Both of your brothers showed exemplary traits that could crown them High Lord of Spring someday, but now…

Tamlin hadn’t ever wanted that life. He wanted to travel and said that he’d show you the white sands of Summer or the Mountains of Night someday because you weren’t allowed to tag along with your father while on official business. No, that was a male’s journey, one for only your brothers.

And now he’s the High Lord, because Neo and Wells are gone, killed in the night by the hand of Night itself, Rafe.

He and his son Rhysand had moved as the shadows within the manor, silent killers that made straight for your family in the dead of night. You had hardly heard more than your mother’s plea before she was silenced, and you burst from your bed chambers only to find Tamlin kneeling in a pool of Rafe’s blood, eyes hopeless as his body thrummed with newfound power.

You don’t feel like eating, hadn’t felt much of anything in the months the rest of your family had been killed. It had been a relief to your remaining brother that you hadn’t been murdered, and he’d left the next night with such a fiery vengeance that he’d nearly set fire to the wisps of long grass in the fields behind the manor.

It has been days since he’s been gone.

The sun dips low behind the rolling hills as night approaches, smothering the light like a snuffed-out flame. It’s both utterly intriguing and disturbing now that you know what it’s capable of.

Tamlin had said you’d be fine when you begged him to allow you to join on his travels. Bron and Hart were here to protect you and would lay down their lives for you if you asked.

As the stars awaken, you shiver, your stomach curling in betrayal. They call to you, just as the shadows do, just as the moon does. She cries silver tears into your favorite spot in the Spring Court, aptly named Moonlight Lake.

You shouldn’t go, shouldn’t wander through the fields like that. Nasty creatures still roam the night, you’ve heard the wolves howling at the full moon high in the sky, and the whispers of creatures that scared the deer into hiding.

Yet you can’t seem to stay away. Your fingers twitch against the soft sheets and it’s hard to keep yourself from getting up and following the moon. You squeeze your eyes shut, taking a steadying breath. Maybe Bron will play the pianoforte to distract you or perhaps Hart will teach you that card game that he loses every week.

Sneaking out of the Willow manor is as easy as it was when you were fourteen and Wells had shown you how. Bron and Hart won’t bother you, of that you know. A mourning daughter of Spring that shan't be bothered, Tamlin instructed.

The grass is cool beneath your bare feet and you follow the brightest star in the sky though you don’t need to. You know the way by heart.

Silver glows, the lake beckoning you with each step. Its mercury waters are dazzling, a mirror that reflects the night sky it wishes to return to.

A voice across the clearing stops you just before you’re about to dip a toe into the star-filled waters.

Squinting, you can’t make out the figure more than a silhouette of darkness. Your breath catches in your throat and your heart pounds loudly in your chest. He stands directly across from you, the lake the only thing separating him from you, and you can easily tell how tall he is.

His voice is a caress of darkness itself, sliding down your spine like a drop of moonlight escaping into the pool below. “Hello, petal.”

#azriel x reader #azriel/reader #acotar #acomaf #acowar #azriel x you #azsazz x writingsbychlo #acosf #azriel angst

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bones4thecats · 4 months ago

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Sun Wukong & Macaque w/ Hastur! S/O

Characters: Sun Wukong and Six-Eared Macaque (separate) Inspired By: Poll Result A/N: I made up some characters for the Reader's past, so just bear with that. ⚠️ Spoilers/Trigger Warnings for: Mentions of being locked away and mental manipulation (somewhat) ⚠️

Backstory of Information on Hastur! Reader

Years ago, the founders of the Brotherhood of the Yellow Sign, had finally been able to summon their God, and bring them to Earth. And while they expected you to spread your own chaos like you pledged, you just looked at them, gave each sub-group a role in your court and began to work alongside the many immortals you had the pleasure of meeting. Though, you connected with a certain immortal better with the others...

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╚═════ Sun Wukong ════════════════════════════╝

☀️ When you walked into a meeting with the immortals, Wukong had his eyes on you almost immediately. The way your yellow cloak flowed in the wind just made him stare at you until Ne Zha poked his foot with his staff

☀️ While he spent his time under the rock for 500 years, you were locked away in an old box by a demon who used your human friend, Li, and were only freed when her descendant, Caihong, had smashed the box by accident during a fight against a powerful demon

☀️ Coming across your familiar caped form and your tiny human ally made him smile and pick you up before spinning you in the air with a large smile on his face

"Wukong?! How're you here? I thought you got imprisoned under that mountain!"

"Well... I did. BUT! I got un-imprisoned by my old Master and uh, well, the rest is a long story. Now let me ask where you were!" He said, holding your arms as you chuckled and gave your side of the story.

☀️ Caihong walked up to you, her long holographic-like hair coming down from her flower crown that you made on your walk through a nearby village to find the supposed 'heroes' that were rumored to be coming by soon

☀️ She grabbed your arm and you could feel her puffy sleeves on her outfit hitting your skin as she looked at the Monkey King and asked who he was, to which you smiled, picked her up and introduced the primate-human to the young female

"Caihong, meet Sun Wukong, he was the man I was speaking to you about a couple minutes ago. You remember, the man who couldn't stop trying to train with me back in Heaven."

☀️ Wukong's cheeks became flushed as you smiled at the girl and did the same thing to him that you did for her

"Sun Wukong, meet Caihong. She's the descendant of Li, the warrior who helped me when I tried finding you after the conflict."

☀️ Looking from the man who picked the girl up gently and began asking her about her own life, the Monkie Kids looked at you with either hesitation and confusion or stars in their eyes

☀️ MK ran up to you alongside Mei and they began to ask you many questions, from your power to how you knew Wukong, before moving onto Wukong and asking how he knew you

☀️ Smiling as he ran away with Caihong in his arms, saying how he would let them hold her over his dead body, you couldn't help but remember how you both fought alongside one another all those years ago

☀️ Oh how you missed your sunny husband...

╔══════════════════════════════════════════╗

╚═════ Six-Eared Macaque ═══════════════════════╝

💜 After the revival of Macaque, you appeared on Earth, alarming the Monkie Kids and the King

💜 Instead of fighting them, you landed next to them and began to mentally torment Sun Wukong, asking why he would kill his only friend. The one who warned him about everything, yet his own ego got in the way

💜 Macaque just stood above them all as you appeared near him and used a tentacle to pat his head before motioning for him that you were ready to leave, saying your work was done for now

"I'm surprised you came by to help me with that, Y/N. Figured you had something better to do." He said.

"Oh no, I got unlocked for this weird box a couple months ago by Li's long-down-the-line child, Caihong."

"Li had a kid? Huh. Shocker."

💜 Chuckling as he laid a cup of tea down in front of you, the six-eared primate laid his head down on your shoulder after your hood was pulled down, revealing your extremely pale face with crown going from above your hood to laying on your skull

💜 After taking a breath and sipping some of the tea, you looked at Macaque and laid your own head onto his as he sighed and wrapped his tail around your midsection lightly

"She's not to bad of a girl, though her odd hair did put me off at first." You joked.

"So the holographic hair thing passed down the bloodline! Oh, if only Wukong would pay me for winning the bet." He joked back.

💜 Raising your head and staring into his eyes, you saw how he relaxed and slightly un-glamoured himself, the tip of his tail being tinted white and his scar coming out against his natural mask

"I missed you, Love."

"I missed you to, Sweetheart."

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mm-lurking · 1 month ago

Text

The Crown and The Blood That Taints it - Blade

When you, the princess of Xianzhou and Blade, the Lord of the Cursed Blood meet there is only one thing that can happen: a fire that burns everyone and everything that gets in their way.

A/N: Watched a few clips of House of the Dragon and Game of Thrones and started brainrotting Blade in it. Do I understand much? No. Am I still going to write something on it? Yes. Posting this early cause my bday is today

Warnings: none?? Not proofread, mostly fluff and slightly OOC sorry about that. – The idea of Blade being a dragon rider does things to me in ways I cannot explain. The idea of him being a prince, an heir even, of the kingdom of Xianzhou Luofu. Or perhaps he is one of the lords that serves the king of Xianzhou -and the king happens to be your father.

Thinking of how you, the princess of Xianzhou, the beloved daughter of the King, is a stubborn woman who does not bend the knee to anyone and does whatever she pleases. Thinking of how your father probably cleans up silently after you as you walk around in the realm and do whatever you please. Not that you are mischievous but rather you are not “ladylike” enough.

Thinking of how you are a princess with power and grace, yet it is not flowers that bloom by your side but rather fires that rage. Your presence scares most lords away for one, you are the king’s most prized treasure and two, they are aware you cannot be controlled. They are aware that their stereotype of women being weak, or the lesser sex than men does not work on you. And with one of the most dangerous dragons, Obsidian, by your side, no one dares to oppose you. Not even the king. After all, the dead bodies your darling creature had piled up in his pit were enough reason to leave you alone.

They know you have a good head on your shoulders and as such, nothing can sway your ideals and visions for you cannot be manipulated. You’ve been assisting court matters by your father’s side since you came of age and are arguably one of the best in the kingdom. Endless marriage proposals come for you, yet you decline everyone and turn away. This frustrates your father, angers him even but you are his only daughter. As such, he finds himself excusing you each time you tell him you don’t want this; you don’t want love nor do you want marriage.

Thinking of how, in the countless seats where the lords sit and serve your father, there is a man you haven’t paid much attention to -Blade. A young lord who not only serves your father faithfully, but is also part of his small council. In a sea of old wrinkly faces, he is the only bright youthful one with an indecipherable look in his you have never understood.

Thinking of how your first few encounters with him occur when you’re in a meeting with the small council, standing by your father’s side. You propose an idea regarding the unrest that has freshly occured in the countryside only for the master of war to shut it down quickly, politely reminding you of your lack of skills and manhood. You are about to strike when Blade speaks up for you making you stare at him in shock.

Thinking of how silence falls momentarily as the lords are taken back by his support for the idea. Blade was an exemplified swordsman who possessed incredible knowledge of the battlefield and had a powerful position in the kingdom. His opinions and ideas were precise and well refined, making him a favourite of your father quickly when he first became a lord. The more time Blade spent in court, the more he proved himself to be capable and stronger than the other men of the small council. While this would often lead to drama between him, the lords and their sons (who weren’t even half as capable as Blade despite being his age), no one dared to cross the Lord of Cursed Blood for they knew the consequences would be deadly. They were aware of the mara that would possess him during wars making him a killing machine.

They were aware of how his crimson eyes were the colour of the liquid he so easily spilled when crossed.

Thinking of how your father, the king approves of your idea despite the protests from the lords. In the back of his mind he knew you were far more capable than most men in this kingdom. He was aware that the only thing that prohibited you from overtaking everyone was your womanhood. Yet that didn’t stop him from discreetly favouring you over his lords and using Blade’s opinion as a backup.

Thinking of how that was the first time you made eye contact with Blade, holding it momentarily as you tried to understand his thoughts before glancing away. You could feel his gaze linger on you for a second longer before he resumed looking at the map on the table.

Thinking of how this new military plan you proposed is what starts this unsaid longing between you two. Your father orders you and Blade to work together alongside some others to see through this plan effectively. At first you are still slightly uncomfortable by how he looks at you; his gaze so strong that you feel exposed in his eyes. You are aware he does not do this on purpose as it is just the way he looks at others yet you cannot help but find yourself a tad bit nervous around him.

Thinking of how the strictly political meetings slowly turn into longer sessions of somewhat political meetings as you two stay behind and discuss your lives even when the meetings are over. You learn that behind his chilly exterior is a different man with regrets and a lifelong curse he can never undo. And while he refuses to speak more about his past and lineage, you already know from the small nuggets he drops about it that he is an incredibly dangerous man, one capable of burning down the entire city if he ever pleased. Hell, he could even take the throne away from your father if he ever wanted and the very thought of that sends chills down your spine.

But one day when you look at him, you realise you do not feel any fear or nervousness around him and rather its replaced by a new emotion -a desire to get to know him better. This new outlook confuses you but you suppress it and continue to be hospitable to Blade, conversing with him regarding several topics and chatting away for hours end. Discussions in the meeting room turn into long walks around the palace and ultimately morphs into somewhat of a date.

As more eyes fall upon you both, the princess of Xianzhou and the lord of the Cursed Blood, chatter spreads through the walls and gossip eventually reaches the king’s ears. You two as a pair seeing each other so frequently and casually only fuels the rumours of something going on between you both. This angers your father in a manner he has never felt before and he immediately calls for you, unable to believe his precious daughter would ever be involved in such unbecoming behaviour.

Thinking of how for the first time, no matter how hard you try to dissipate your father’s anger he does not listen. Even with your mother’s assistance your father refuses to hear you out and commands you to stay away from Blade, warning you about the dire consequences if you do not heed him. Upset, you rush out of the room bursting into a fit of tears from your father’s fury. As much as the king hates to see his daughter like this, he cannot have his only heir slip up. You were the successor of this kingdom and it was inappropriate for you to meet a man without any former agreement or public proposal. Especially one that has served your father well and was a favourite.

Thinking of how you do not, in fact, listen to your father and continue to meet Blade in secrecy after the formal military meetings are over. Despite all the measures your father implements to keep a watchful eye on you, you manage to slip past them all to meet with the man who was slowly conquering your heart. You are fierce and stubborn and he was no different. You were the only woman he knew who didn’t want him for his status, prestige or fortune. With you, discussing combat and other natures of the world felt natural and he didn’t find the need to put up a front. What primarily was companionship evolved into something more, something he could not explain.

To Blade, these new emotions that were starting to stir in his heart after getting to know you were enough reason to defy the rules of this kingdom.

Thinking of how one day you both sneak out of the kingdom when your father is occupied with official matters in the Red Keep. You wanted to run away from the prying eyes of people and spend some time alone with Blade, riding your dragon in the drifting clouds of the sky where no one could snitch on you. You both ascend to the sky as he wraps his arms around your waist and by god if you weren’t steering the dragon you would have melted into his embrace. You both knew that at this point that there was no going back, that your relationship had crossed all the lines and that this desire to be with each other was burning stronger and stronger each day.

Thinking of how it’s late when you part ways with Blade that day. One of the lords who disliked you had caught you and Blade kissing when you dismounted the dragon. By the time you get back to the castle, all hell had broken loose. There was screaming, crying, arguing all at once the moment you step foot in the room; some lords and your father glaring at you in disgust from your actions. You try to play it off cool but unfortunately the cat is out of the bag and nothing can be done.

Thinking of how, in the heat of the moment, the king immediately arranges a marriage for you, sending you as far as he can from Blade and demoting him from the small council. You beg your father to give his blessings and to allow you to stay with Blade because there was no man you would want to be with except him. Marriage scared you and the idea of being someone’s wife felt suffocating but with him, with Blade all those worries flew out the window. With Blade, it felt natural and safe. The stars and the heavens are not on your side as not a single word gets through him and all you can do is let tears roll down your face as you listen to his raging anger.

Thinking of how when Blade finds out nothing else registers in his mind for a moment. He receives the message late at night in his chambers from his righthand man. The hesitation on his face is enough to let Blade know something’s wrong but when he reads the letter from the King the world around him grows numb. There is pin drop silence in his head before it's replaced with the rampant rage of desire and betrayal. His eyes darken and he stares out the nearby window with an evil smirk on his face; a look so sinister that his guard also starts to feel fearful from the distance.

Your lover picks up the letter and puts it through a nearby flame. The letter ignites and sizzles as the fire eats away at the malicious words of your father, leaving only ashes behind. He watches the flame intently as it continues to burn brightly. Not a single word is spoken in the chambers but one thing is clear: there was something more to this than anyone around him knew. After all, the title Lord of the Cursed Blood was not awarded to him as a passing thought -there was a history behind it that only his lineage and the King knew.

A song of blood and fire, a tale of eradication and fear.

The Achilles heel of his father and forefathers and the sins of the king and his predecessor.

Blade commands his men to pack up everything and move back home and despite their protests and concerns, he turns a blind eye to their words. He would no longer stay on the lands of the very man whose hands were covered in his family’s blood. However, there was one last thing he had to do before he left this city for good.

Thinking of how you wake up to your bed dipping aggressively in the middle of the night. You hadn’t bothered to change into comfortable clothes or freshen up as you went to sleep directly after you argued with your father, exhausted from how cruel life was to you. It takes you a moment to fully register the presence of a human being on your bed. Before you can scream, the hooded feature clasps your mouth shut and shakes off his hood revealing the man you had fallen for. You fight the drowsiness in your eyes as you attempt to question him but he doesn’t allow you to speak and instead firmly kisses your lips as a sign of devotion and a silent promise -a promise he will come back for you.

All you remember is him softly telling you to wait for him and that he would never allow another man to have you before handing you his ring and disappearing into the night. A promise you held onto even after months of him being gone….even on the day of your wedding with your father’s handpicked suitor.

The festivities of your marriage are in full swing. The streets have been decorated lavishly and countless carts and carriages of goods have been sent to the castle as a gift. Your suitor, not to your surprise, is the son of one of the lords who serve your father in the small council. It just so happens that the lord is the same one who caught you with Blade all those months ago. The small council had struck gold with your downfall and decided to manipulate your father into making it worse. Lucky for you your suitor is not venomous like his father but neither is he courageous enough to stand against his pathetic plottings.

Despite the joy amongst your people and the cheers that erupt every few minutes, your heart is numb. Ever since Blade left you received no word from him and with each passing day, your longing for him only got worse. Not a single day went by where you didn’t think of him. Even though his face had now become blurry in your vision and his voice had started to fade from your memories, you could not get over him. The only reminder of his existence and everything you both shared was his ring that presently hung around your neck. Wearing it on your hand would cause trouble and you couldn’t bear to leave it in your room so instead, you strung it on a chain and wore it around your neck to conceal him right where your heart beat the loudest.

Before you know it, it's time to stand at the altar. Ever since that day, your relationship with your father has soured a little but despite that, you pretend to be happy just for his and the kingdom’s sake. All these months you had tried to get answers from the King, just something, anything that could tell you why he was so against you and Blade being together. You pried, you searched the libraries, you sent out people in secret to find information but you still had no answers. Anger and frustration eventually turned into silence and compliance and at the end of the day, you just did what you could to keep your aging father at ease.

Thinking of how none of the vows and prayers registers in your head. You stand in front of your suitor, holding his hands loosely while you’re mentally playing all your memories of Blade over and over. Wishing it was him standing in front of you. Wishing your union was with the only man you ever grew to love. You peek at your father, who looks so delighted as he beams at his only girl, from the corner of your eye. Seeing him so merry almost brings tears to your eyes. You had done everything right as a child to be the apple of his eye…only to love the wrong man. Your only sin was falling for the mara-struck prince.

Thinking of how you force yourself to bring the chalice up to your lips right after your suitor drinks out of it. You fight with your mind as one half of you does its best to get this wedding done and over with while the other half of you tries to push the chalice away. Right when you finally manage to bring it up to your lips-

-a terrorising screech resounds from the distance followed by aggressive stomping and glass shattering. You see a scarlet red dragon perching itself on one of the nearby towers before hissing and extending its neck tauntingly through the broken walls. The crowd screams as they all try to find refuge from the beast while the King tries calming them down, horrified at who would interrupt such a joyous occasion for the kingdom. All the knights attempt to protect the citizens and the royals in the area but the dragon shows no mercy as it slaughters everything in the way. The wreckage does not reach where you are nor does it harm you, as if this were a well-planned attack.

Before you can process anything and take note of the figure riding the dragon, raging fire towers over any mortal present on the ground as it burns and reduces everything in its vicinity into ashes. There are wounded men littered all over the barren soil, groaning and crying in pain from the injuries they have sustained. Ashes and soot circulate in the air causing the soldiers and knights present to wheeze while breathing. But none of that matters to the prince of the cursed blood, Blade, who slides down his dragon and makes his way through the damaged buildings with his eyes fixated on a particular figure in the distance -you.

Thinking of how the soul leaves your body when you watch him fend off all the soldiers mercilessly, leaving no man alive that stops him from getting to you. You stand there at the altar frozen and breathless as you stare at him with wide eyes, unable to believe he’s here. He looked just as you saw him all those months ago, dashing and dangerous. You practically gawk at the man who's getting closer and closer to you and your heart beats louder and louder.

“Princess we must go now!”

Your suitor and father voice out, concerned for your well-being. The rough grabbing of your shoulder snaps you out of your trance and you stare at the knight holding you before shoving him off and running towards Blade.

“Princess!!”

Their yells fall deaf on your ears as you run down the altar and away from your unwanted suitor. Some guards try to stop you but the dragon screeching in their direction scares them away.

Ba-dump

The only sound you can hear now is the rapid quickening of your heartbeat as your heart threatens to jump out of your ribcage and flee. Blade stares at you with eyes that swirl with desire and desperation as he finally stands in front of you, panting.

Thinking of how Blade does not give you a single second to speak; he urgently cups your face with his hand and brushes the pad of his thumb deeply against your cheek. You can tell his hunger for your touch runs deep; he’s been starved of your presence for so long that he’s ravenous. Your eyes momentarily shut close as his face only draws closer to yours. Amidst the ruins of the city centre and cries for help, you both gaze into each other’s eyes as if searching for answers while simultaneously apologising silently for being away unendingly.

“Blade..”

Thinking of how you manage to take his name; you speak his name so softly as if he would vanish in thin air if you raised your voice a little louder. He hums in response as he trails his eyes over your figure trying to absorb you and etch you harder into his memory.

Thinking of how while you were running your necklace had flung out causing his ring to peek through your clothes. You hadn’t realised but Blade’s lingering gaze on your décolletage makes you look and you gasp. He says nothing but instead tugs on the metal string, revealing his ring that had been tucked away on your chest for months.

Thinking of how he runs his fingers around the ring before harshly pulling it, causing your necklace to break and the string to slip away. The ring remains in his fingers as he stares at it for a while before looking back at you.

“I had to keep it safe.”

You whisper as you look away in embarrassment. He chuckles and stares around at everyone, or well the ones who are still alive, before he locks eyes with your father. The King is standing at the altar shielded by his Kingsguard as he watches you both to his dismay. Then without a word, he gets on one knee and takes your left hand.

Thinking of how all oxygen leaves your body as he slips his large ring into any of your dainty fingers that could hold it. Your hands slightly tremble from the gesture but he gently squeezes them, reassuring you of his decision. He is sure of wanting you. He is sure of making you the mother of his children. Destruction and terror are the witnesses to his proposal but none of that matters to you for he was born and bred of such emotions and you had become acquainted with it.

Thinking of how you stare at him and the ring back and forth, unable to believe this was happening. The sunlight continues to shine brightly upon you both as it bounces off his ring and dazzles his appearance further. The flames he had started sizzle and roar behind him as they further exuded his authority. You find yourself falling for him all over again as tears well in your eyes. This was not how you expected to find him again but you weren’t complaining either.

Thinking of how he gets up and pushes you into his chest upon seeing your tears. He smells like blood, dust and rust but you inhale his scent like he was the finest perfume available to you. He kisses the top of your head and, unknown to you, directly stares at your father once again smiling sinisterly. You both remain like that for a while even with all the murmurings and whispers (and deaths and screams) that surround you.

Thinking of how you place your hands on his chest and, to the horror of your father, tilt your head up to lock lips with him. Blade reciprocates as he pushes you deeper into his chest as if he had been waiting for this his entire life. You both stand at the centre of the building ruins, confirming your union amidst the chaos and the damage done to your people. How ironic that the people’s princess had become the lover of the destructive lord.

Thinking of how his dragon roars while it watches you both as if acknowledging and congratulating you both before flying away. The people in the area scream in fear afraid they will be toasted again. You can’t help but smile through the kiss which he reciprocates.

Thinking of how you turn around and look at your father as your heart harbours mixed signals. On one hand, you were delighted to have Blade with you but on the other, the pain of disappointing your father and the city hurt you. You give him a bittersweet smile as Blade stands right behind you, still staring at him with a gaze that screams revenge.

In the days to come, you would learn that the man you had given yourself to had a darker history with your father than you could have imagined. And in the days to come, you would learn that the lineage of the cursed blood was more powerful and dangerous than you ever knew.

Perhaps your father was right to keep you both apart. Or perhaps, he would learn that only you could bring the mara-struck prince to his knees, something he and your forefathers could only dream of doing.

A song of blood and fire, a curse that would now be yours to bear. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

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miasudare · 3 months ago

Text

Trailer break-down + Tiny Theories?

So, yes another trailer/teaser has been dropped -> This

So let's go over the check list first (I'm sorry if it's messy, it's really late at night for me)

These are the 5 follower forms: Check!

Meerkat, Skunk, Panda, Echidna and Camel(?)

2 outfits for BOTH the lamb and the followers: Check!

Lamb's being the cowboy clothes and this wheat one

Said outfits on followers + from comics with the backside

5 New decors: Check!

Bamboo walls, Chinese lights, Trees, Pagodas and Flower pots

2 unique quests being ''Jalala's Followers'' and something that isn't mentioned yet (or I've missed). But I think it might be about one of the npcs. Check?

Now, about pilgrim story:

This is what our Meerkat friend sees during their flasback moment, which is also the same things our Lamb sees when Clauneck shows them Narinder's card (you can even see both). Somehow, they get to see what Lamb saw. Maybe it's some sort of an astral thing. There's not much I can add, both because we have limited information and my main theories are based around the game itself.

Chemach

For a moment if you pay attention, you can see little Chemach, clearly way younger and without her crown/s. We probably will learn what caused her madness and her state of mind, how did she got a crown, how she killed other bearers and basically all about the feather family. From what I could read, it says ''WHY NOT CHEMACH!'' in the dialogue bubble. And she has legs.

The fucking adition

We have never seen this monster before. It does remind of the massive monster, it's clear that this creature is a spawn from the deepest rings of hell. Or maybe it's a new species of divines being added considering that one has fur and the game doesn't have demons but has angels (???'s babies and the enemy)

This new addition might gave us a new adventure route in the new update, other than purgatory and realms of the bishops. Maybe a realm for sins completely?

Not that divine

Let's play spot the difference! similarities!

Notice how the white part we thought of their face is just a mask? And the similarity between the 1st and 2nd skull?

Edit: So, the skull does has the name "god_skull" in the files. But I still like to think that guardians are related to the skull.

In my Story theory, which I find absolutely canon, I talked about Aym and Baal being demi-gods. Their fighting is literally same with ''Guardian'' (Baal's three hit melee combo and Aym's fireballs) Which technically means that Guardians ARE part of demi-gods. Sorta?

Even their idles are same!

And just like I said before, Aym and Baal ARE guardians.

Aym: Guardian/Protector of hell

Baal: Guardian/Protector of heaven

But there is something that takes my attention. Look at guardian's and Baal's weapons. Both are Sun. And, Baal's HP is higher than Aym's. So, does that mean that Aym hasn't fully reached godhood? His scar does match with the Guard's but I doubt it means anything.

Back to the subject, that the theory for Spore Grotto's skull being a God's might be wrong. It may be demi-god's too.

Check my other theories here!

Theory Master post

#cotl #cult of the lamb #cotl theory #cotl unholy alliance #cult of the lamb unholy alliance #cotl pilgrim #cult of the lamb pilgrim dlc #cult of the lamb theory #cotl update #cult of the lamb update #unholy alliance #cotl aym #cotl baal #aym and baal #cotl chemach #cotl clauneck #miazel talks

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sorcerous-caress · 1 year ago

Note

How do you think the party would react if Tav was a Fallen Aasimar? I sure it hinges on the God's aliment. What if it was a God they worship?

Reacting to a fallen aasimar Tav

[Bg3, fluff, nb!reader]

[Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Halsin, Astarion, Gale, Minthara, Laezel]

You used to serve a god they worship/worshipped. I took some liberties with the godless characters.

Shadowheart - Selune

Assuming it happens either after the game ends or in an alternative universe where Shadowheart never abandoned Selune. Then she'd be very conflicted.

What could you have possibly done to have the most gentle of goddesses stripping your wings? Moonlight melting your silvery feathers until they're nothing but abyssal black and ash.

Her lady is wise, therefore she will be very wary of you. Yet at the same time, she can't help but feel a sense of familiarity when she looks at you. It drives away her prejudice for a moment and lets her judge you for your action, no matter how blasphemous the act of questioning her goddess's judgment might be.

Wyll - Tyr

To fall from celeste is to become a fiend. How are you any better than the devils below in the hells?

If he was his younger self, he wouldn't have hesitated to deliver you to justice, and yet the horns on his own head weight heavy like a crown paid for in a lifetime of experience. He knows better than anyone that nothing is ever what it seems like.

This Wyll is wiser, more understanding and open. He's willing to extend the same courtesy to you that he wished someone would've done to him before.

Let him hear you out, friend. Tell him what befelled this fate upon you.

Karlach - Tymora

She is more confused about how you managed to anger the smiling lady herself. It takes a special kind of asshole to turn their back on good fortune and lady luck.

An aasimar at that too? A messenger of luck?

She's never been big on the whole religion thing, to be honest with you, yet the wamrth and good fortune her goddess extended to her is still one of the best gifts she has ever been given.

So what happened? How did this even happen?

She'd never be hostile towards you nor exlude you as long as you don't do anything sinister. She genuinely belives in sharing her good fortune with everyone no matter who.

Halsin - Silvanus

Oak father preserve him. To Halsin, seeing you brings as much joy to him as seeing the shadow curse spread.

His God's teachings aren't that hard to follow, just respect the natural order and preserve all living beings. He has been diligently upholding this code through his life and spreading the teachings back at the grove.

Yet, the oak father himself marked you as an endangerment to the very being of nature. To the ancient trees and sprouting spring flowers, you reprsent the slithering all-consuming wither and rot.

He is very uncomfortable around you, not just on his guard, but you can see that he would rather be anywhere else than near you. Yet, feels like he had to keep an eye on you just in case you burn down a forest or something behind his back.

Astarion - Corellon

Honestly, he doesn't even remember worshipping the old elf or anything. He just assumes it given his previous stature and ancestry.

Not that the self-proclaimed protector of all elves has ever given him a single second of his time since he became an undead. No matter how much he prayed, it seems that the blood running through his veins barely counted anymore when it wasn't his own blood to begin with.

Fuck him, along all the other gods who turned their back on him for 200 hundred years of pure shit. It's a good thing you fell, he tells you, at least now your powers are yours alone. What's a god if not just another master to get you to do their biddings?

He is interested in you, mostly in your powers, to be more precise.

But it also encourages you to seek your own path and never think of grovelling for forgiveness or your feathers back.

Gale - Mystra

He makes a lame ass joke about if that makes him your stepfather. Dad puns included.

Surprisingly, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if it was before he fully got over his ex.

He's a scholar first and a lover second. He is genuinely very interested in learning about you and aasimars. Meeting one in a lifetime is a miracle. They're so rare that they're barely documented even. So imagine meeting a fallen one? He is beyond intrigued by you and your nature.

Sure, your morality might come into question, but he will worry about that later. For now, he is more interested in inspecting your wings and asking borderline intrusive questions about how serving Mystra was like.

Evil alligned deities.

Aasimars don't have many rules about them in dnd, but for one, they are classified as celestial beings. So technically, they can't ever serve evil alligned gods. It's never officially stated, tho so it is up to interpretation.

Devils or fiends serve the evil deities instead, so i thought why not make the reason the aasmire fell is because they decided to serve the evil god for the character.

In the next headcanons, falling is considered a good thing. Whoever your previous good god was that you used to serve, you abandoned them and went to serve an evil deity instead which is why you fell.

Laezel - Vlaakith

A good choice, a wise choice even. Laezel might not be versed much in the gods pantheon but she is sure whoever your old deity was, they couldn't have compared to her queen.

You have her respect, the same respect she'd extend to a kitherak even. In her eyes, you're the embodiment of the red dragon and rider knight both in one. Your wings and shinning blade speak for themselves.

She is honoured, fascinated too. Yet her admiration is a double edged sword, for she will hold you to impossible standards and consider it meeting the bare minimum.

Minthara - Lolth

She almost pities you, willingly becoming another pawn in this endless chessboard of drow conflict. Another gem to decorate Lolth's whip with as she inflicts it on whoever she sees fit.

Either you're foolishly naive or a complete masochist to dedicate yourself to the spider queen. Either way, she will test you herself to see exactly what you're made of.

As someone who abandoned Lolth, she'd be wary of anyone who serves her goddess. Yet you haven't cut off her head yet, how strange?

Minthara doesn't hide her disdain for Lolth around you, both warning you of the cruel fate awaiting you no matter how much of a good pet you're to your goddess.

For the longer you stay loyal to Lolth, the more of an endangerment you become to Minthara herself.

Shadowheart - Shar

Another child of the darkness, another sibling of the night to guide her through this journey. Shadowheart thinks your meeting was fate, a reward from her dark lady.

Especially if you saved her from the ship, she'd see you as her hero, a shining black diamond amonst the rubble and mud.

Mirroring how Laezel would've acted in fact, their dangerous fickle admiration of you that you never asked for would force a magnifying glass over both your flaws while exaggerating your achievements.

She doesn't hide her Shar worship from you this time around. She is proud, especially by you by her side. She will be your shield and recovery as long as you be her sword and wings.

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el-tur-el · 8 months ago

Text

coconut skins. - Chapter 1

Pairing: Rolan x F!Tav

Warnings: Tailplay, Light D/S, Explicit Sexual Content. 18+, Minors DNI.

Word Count: 2,674. Read it on AO3.

While she was immensely proud of the work Rolan put into his studies - the achievements he’s managed to garner at an age much younger than those before him, the respect that his new title commands - she would be the first to admit that sometimes it all became a bit of a slog. The constant late nights studying, crawling into bed beside her long after the sun had set over the Gate and the sky had become scattered with pinprick starlight.

She tried to stay up with him when she could; she’d drape herself over a chaise in the study and pretend to read while he worked. In truth, she was spending more time watching him. Fingers twitching as he scrawled notes on a piece of parchment with a quill, the shape of his mouth and he silently rehearsed the verbal components of new spells he was working on. Something so mundane should hardly be considered intoxicating, and yet the competency set a heady thrill in her veins. The Master of Ramazith’s Tower.

Gods above, but he deserved it.

Tonight, boredom has settled itself into her bones, leaden and heavy. She’s been sprawled out on chair in the study for the better part of six hours now, idly leafing through a book while he pours over research and hastily scribbles notes in the margins. She can see the exhaustion radiating off of him, the soft hunch of his shoulders, the way he’s rubbing at his temples and mumbling under his breath. She wonders, idly, if he even knows what time it is. If he had even been aware of the sun sinking far below the horizon two hours ago, painting the room in split yolk yellow and flicker flame orange.

She rises from the chair delicately, walking across the room to his desk; footfalls ghostly silent against the carpet, her fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of the sleeve on her thin nightgown - a gift from him a month or so ago, with delicate flowers embroidered on the material.

“Love,” She murmurs softly, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind, pressing a whisper of a kiss against the crown of his head. “You’ve been at it for hours. Why don’t you take a break, hm?”

“In a moment.” He replies, not looking up from the paper in front of him - she swears he’s been stuck on this one for over an hour now, some text about the importance of somatic components in spellwork, written in tiny, cramped hand. “I’m nearly done with this one.”

Something tells her that’s not true - that he would sit here for another eternity if she let him; not bothering to slink to bed until the sun began to lazily pull itself over the horizon, and even then only allowing himself a half hour of rest before getting up to tend to Sorcerous Sundries for the day. She knows this because he has done it before, more times than she can count on one hand. Murmuring a quiet apology for being so late to join her, then turning around and doing it all over again the next day.

“Rolan, you’ve been staring at the same piece of paper for hours. Maybe it’ll make more sense after some rest and some breakfast.” One of her hands gently rubs over his shoulder, soothing small circles against his robe with her thumb.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine.”

Getting him to be anything other than self-sacrificial is a task akin to pulling teeth even on the best of days. He runs himself ragged constantly, all weeping edges. Nose to the grindstone until there’s little left but marrow. It makes her chest ache, truthfully; the extent to which he is willing to go in some misguided venture to prove himself.

He doesn’t have to prove himself to anyone, anymore.

She tucks a stray lock of hair behind the tip of a pointed ear, and brings her lips to the stark line of his jaw; no amount of pleading will get him to relent, but perhaps there are other methods at her disposal that will be effective. He’s always had trouble saying no to her when she looks at him with soft eyes, when she’s soft and clingy and sweet. Like he has a weakness for the saccharine. Or maybe just a weakness for her.

“Tav.” He rumbles, low and throaty - a warning.

She’s never been particularly good about contemplating consequences.

“Come to bed.” She whispers against his skin, dragging her mouth down to the slope of his throat. Open-mouthed and damp, her breath ghosting over his pulse point, her arms still draped over his shoulders.

He makes a sound in the back of his throat that sends heat spooling in her stomach, makes her feel effervescent. He’s still looking at the desk, but his gaze is unfocused and hazy, and she thinks, for one triumphant moment, that she may be winning this battle.

A few things happen in the span of a moment. He rises from his chair rather noisily, and a flicker of fear that she has somehow overstepped jolts through her. But then he’s pushing her up against the desk, the edge of the hardwood digging into the small of her back, his hands planted firmly on her shoulders. He leans dangerously close to her, his breath a heavy and ragged thing, a few strands of his hair coming loose from their tie and framing his face in a way that would almost be considered soft were it not for the glimmer of hunger held within the aureate flame of his eyes.

“Someone ought to teach you a thing or two about patience.” His voice is sharp and hushed, gravelly in a way she’s not sure she’s ever heard from him.

She stares at him with wide eyes, her lips parted in a silent question, her hands curling into the soft material of his robes at his flanks. He tilts his head to the side, eyes trained on her, flicking over her expression to see if there’s any hesitance. When he doesn’t find any, he leans in further, his breath hot against the shell of her ear.

��Is this what you wanted, Tav? To test my resolve? To see how much it takes for me to snap?” A yawning chasm of want splits open within her, a flush rising to her cheeks. “For me to pin you down and have my way with you like some kind of animal?”

“I’m certainly not complaining.” She finds her voice, shaky and uncertain as it may be, and the words fall forth in the ghost of a whisper.

“You would think that the time you spent saving the Sword Coast would have taught you even a little in the way of self-preservation, but here you are. Still so godsdamned brave.” His teeth graze over her earlobe, and she stifles a soft sound. “I could eat you alive. But you don’t care.”

“Because I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” She does, in her bones. He’d been reticent to even entertain the notion of anything that would put her in harm’s way, even if she’d expressed enthusiastic consent. Pain was not associated with pleasure in his mind, and she had never been about to argue - he’d been through enough. She wanted to be a safe place for him. A respite from it all.

He pulls away to look her in the eyes once more, a soft smile dragging up the corners of his mouth. “I wouldn’t.” He echoes, quiet.

“This is nice, though.” She feels like such a shy creature when faced with the intensity of his gaze. What a difficult thing, to be seen so thoroughly. For him to peel back the layers of herself, scrutinize each one. To know and be known. “The confidence.”

“I’m glad you think so.” He laughs, soft, all breath. “I’m rather uncertain of what I’m doing.”

She presses her lips to his cheek, featherlight. “Just do what feels natural. Or do nothing at all. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything.”

He contemplates her for a long moment, as though trying to determine the best course of action. It feels rather silly, to calculate intimacy, to map it out into data points and facts and figures. But she’s intrigued, curious as to where, exactly, this is going to go.

“I want to try something.” He says after a while. “Do you trust me?”

“Endlessly.” She replies immediately - she doesn’t even have to put thought into the question. She’d put her life in his hands if he asked her to.

“Undress for me.” The words are offered up on a breath, still so gentle.

She wordlessly moves to comply, shaky fingers moving to the hem of her nightgown, gingerly pulling it over her head. She takes the time to fold it neatly - she’d loathe to unceremoniously toss something so delicate, something he picked out for her by hand, on the ground. She turns to look at him with expectant eyes.

“Everything.” He’s perched back onto his chair, and he watches her with a neutral expression, his tone settling into something detached. It shouldn’t send a thrill of heat through her, and yet it does all the same.

She drags her bottom lip between her teeth, all nervous energy, but does as she’s told with no resistance. She steps out of her smalls, undoes her breastband, sets them both to the side. He looks at her appreciatively, eyes roaming down her body in a way that has her feeling like he could see right through to the bone if he so desired.

Oh, how vulnerable it is, the mortifying ordeal of being known.

He taps two fingers against the corner of his desk that is free of paperwork and stacks of books. “Sit.”

She wonders what he’s playing at here, exactly.

She settles herself down on the hardwood, sucking in a sharp breath at how cold it is against her bare skin. Suddenly so unsure of how to take up space, she folds her hands in her lap. Her movements feel awkward, unsteady.

“I’m going to finish my work.” He motions towards the paper he’d been engrossed in earlier. “And you’re going to sit there quietly.”

“And I need to be naked for this because….?” She blinks at him - suddenly she is very much feeling like the one who has been played here.

“If you’re good,” He ignores the question. “I’ll give you the attention you so desperately desire, once I am done.”

And just like that, he’s once again directing his attention downwards, beginning to resume his reading. She shifts awkwardly - the idea of sitting still, bare before him, with him not even paying attention to him…. It fills her with equal parts arousal and defiance, makes her want to act out so that this is over faster.

But she’ll let him have his way for now.

One of his hands comes to rest on her thigh - not gripping, simply touching. It sends sparks rolling through her, bright bursts of something fluorescent and alive. She takes in a soft breath, tremulous, and he offers her a pointed look before returning his gaze to his work.

And you’re going to sit there quietly.

Ah. She’s beginning to understand the game, now.

Silently, he pushes her knees apart, and she knows with resounding certainty the moment his hand splays out flat against the inside of her thigh that she is well and truly fucked. His nails drag a slow path upwards, and her stomach lurches, teeth sinking into her bottom lip in an attempt to keep silent.

There’s a heavy ache between her thighs, and it takes more than a little self control to not press them together, to coax his hand higher, to open her mouth to plead with him to relent. He’s still reading, and she wants to take back everything she said earlier about finding his bravado intoxicating - such a selfish creature suddenly in the face of such overwhelming want.

Perhaps he’s feeling merciful, perhaps he can sense the yearning bubbling beneath the surface of her, because his index and middle finger graze over her slit, and she nearly whines. He lets out a breath when he feels the evidence of her arousal, how wet she is just from being made to sit before him like this - but his gaze does not leave his work.

The callused pads of his fingers press against her clit, and her hands come to grasp at the edge of the desk, knuckles white from the effort of it. She hopes to all the gods above that he is not nearly as patient as he makes himself seem.

She thinks that perhaps she can handle this - a little touching, a little teasing, and then he’ll cave.

And then comes the tail.

The point of it drags over her thigh, and oh, that’s new. She does let out a gasp when he brings it up higher, when he flicks it over her slit like a silent question. Tentative, cautious, curious. Without really thinking, she spreads her legs a little wider, invites him to indulge in the impulse.

It’s different than anything she’s ever felt before. The stretch of it, the hesitancy he uses. He’s no longer paying attention to the words on the paper before him, instead staring at her with wide, glossy eyes, his lips parted.

“Look at you.” He breathes, the tone of his voice awestruck, and she lets out a whine - her patience has been unraveled, decorum discarded.

She shifts her hips, desperate for more - something, anything. He relents, dragging the spade of it out, pushing back in.

Fucking her with his tail.

It feels licentious. Base. Wrong and filthy and yet so completely and wholly right. She moans, her head tilting back, her eyes fluttering shut. His fingers work against her clit more insistently now, his breath heavy, leaning forward in his chair, drinking in the sight of her.

“Fuck.” She manages, shaky, all breath. “Holy fuck, Rolan -”

“That’s it, Tav. Just like that.” He’s all rasp and gravel, and she cracks her eyes enough to see him palming himself through his robes. Something within her snaps, fractures. “Want to see you come like this - want - Gods.”

It takes little more in the way of prompting for her to get there; flashbang bright behind her eyelids, her lips splitting open in a silent cry. It feels like drowning in the most pleasant way possible, the way it rips through her. He hisses out a curse from behind gritted teeth, his movements slowing, then stopping completely.

She’s panting as she comes down, peering down at him through unfocused eyes, her hair sticking to her forehead - skin slick with sweat, her chest heaving. He’s looking at her with a reverence in his eyes, an awe that she feels wholly undeserving of.

“That was - that was different.” She fumbles for the words, coherent thought having evaporated from her mind.

“If I had known you would have responded positively, I would have suggested trying that a while ago.” He leans forward to press his lips against the back of her knee, soft. “Was that alright?”

She motions to herself, disheveled on his desk. “I hardly think you need to ask, Rolan.”

“Right, yes, well.” He clears his throat. “No harm in checking.”

“Will you come to bed now?” She tilts her head to the side, her gaze flicking over his form, lingering on his lap. “I’d rather like to repay the favor.”

“I… believe I’m at an appropriate stopping point for the evening, yes.” He smooths out his robes and stands, offering her a hand. “But please don’t feel like you need to -”

“Rolan.” She takes his hand and gently slides off of his desk, lifting a finger to his lips. “If you don’t take me to the bedroom and ravish me right this minute, I swear to all the gods in every pantheon, I will cry.”

“Well, we can’t have that, I suppose.”

#rolan x tav #bg3 #rolan bg3 #bg3 rolan

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arinbelle · 7 months ago

Text

Moments V

A/N: I’ve been working on this fic for over a year and I’m so happy it’s done. I really wanted this conversation to happen right after the Blood Rite or even after Nyx’s birth but alas. So anyways, here we are.

@nestaarcheronweek

Moments Masterlist

~*~

Part V: Shackled

Nesta surveyed the cerulean gown, fingers gliding over the satin before turning away. It was a silent rejection, one of many, and he moved out of the way as the tailor pursed her lips but replaced it with a red one.

Cassian had come with her to help her pick out a dress for her sisters and Emerie to wear at their mating ceremony, but after the tenth one he was beginning to feel antsy. It wasn’t that he minded the small boutique, hidden amongst stores selling sweet caramels and cakes, or fresh bread and spiced meats. He’d been here before, rather, he’d been wrangled over with Mor and Amren, even with Azriel to find gifts for the females he never brought to meet them.

It was Nesta’s neither here nor there look on her face that had him apprehensive. She’d been deemed fully healed and back at her full strength three days after the Blood Rite and so preparations for their Mating Ceremony had taken over immediately. She’d doled out the responsibilities the night before; Mor on decorations from whatever colors and schemes Nesta already had in mind, Elain and Feyre on the guest list, Azriel to set up security parameters, and Amren to confirm with all the vendors they bought from. Rhys was of course the master fund for all expenses, to which Nesta had agreed to with a sly smirk.

Yet today, their first day out together since everything had been settled, to find dresses and taste cakes, was proving to be difficult. If it had been a case of true dislike, or perhaps indecision, Cassian wouldn’t have minded. But Nesta had never been an indecisive person- she knew what she preferred and it never took her long to get what she had in mind. So he knew something was wrong when she’d given her silent or quiet rejections to the various cakes and dresses and flower assortments.

“That’s alright,” he finally decided to cut in, before the boutique owner began laying out another collection of dresses. “We’ll come back another day. Thank you for your time today.”

The boutique owner didn’t seem to mind, likely happy to be rid of them, and he bade her another farewell while ushering Nesta out.

“We weren’t done,” Nesta said when they were finally a few paces away from the shop. “I need to get things done today if the ceremony is in a few days.” A risky timeline for a wedding ceremony, let alone a mating one that was as extravagant as they’d planned it to be. But he ignored that.

She had pulled herself out of his grip, crossing her arms in the middle of the cobblestone street, staring him down with that familiar fire. He’d missed it these past few days but had attributed it to exhaustion from the Rite or nerves from what she’d endured. And he’d stayed silent about it too. Perhaps stupidly, perhaps warily, but he’d kept quiet, even when the dejected look on her face seemed to be worsening with each passing day.

“We’re not getting anywhere right now. How about we take a break and come back another day, Nes?”

She didn’t move so he reached out his hand, waiting. Always waiting. Something was wrong but she’d speak when it was time. Until then, he was fine to walk with her in silence for however long she needed.

A few breaths passed but she finally loosened her stance, moving closer before grabbing his hand. He pulled her in tight, wrapping an arm around her waist before moving them down the street. She allowed it and he pressed a kiss to her crown before ushering them towards a juice stall with a long line.

She looked up at him, a small smile gracing her beautiful face. He traced the curve of her lips, the slope of her nose with his eyes, taking in the beauty. He might have been staring too long as a lovely blush colored Nesta’s cheeks and she shoved his face away.

“Stop that,” she snapped, but there was no bite to it.

“Never,” he promised, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheeks before changing to another line that was selling something that smelled tempting each time the wind blew past it.

”If you were hungry you could have just said that,” she huffed, but it was all amusement now.

He thought about it, taking a few steps forward as another order completed ahead of them.

“Fine, yes, I did want to eat,” he admitted, ignoring the smirk she sent his way. “But I had us leave because it wasn't getting anywhere. You didn’t want to be there so why suffer through it.”

She stiffened in his hold and he knew he’d probably struck a chord. That hadn’t been his intention, but he cursed himself silently. Sometimes his honesty got him into more trouble than he asked for.

They were silent for the rest of the line with Nesta only speaking to the vendor and ordering fried potatoes with cheese and a mint lemonade.

”No, I don’t want fish, thank you,” she spoke quickly, cutting her eyes at him as he made to speak. She rolled her eyes at him as he paid, thanking the stall owner before grabbing their food.

”You could use the protein. We’re going back to regular training in a few weeks,” he called behind himself, knowing she’d have something cutting to add. He delighted in it, teasing her incessantly about her huffy dislike of all the things he tried to get her to eat.

“And you could stand to skip it,” she said sweetly, with nothing kind in her smile. She reached for her plate and popped a wedge into her mouth before continuing. “I mean truly, I don’t know what they’re feeding you, Cassian. You don’t need any more muscles to ogle at.”

He chuckled at that. “Don’t you mean more muscles for you to ogle at.”

Her eyes narrowed but she shook her head emphatically, finally giving into the banter he’d so desperately been trying to distract her somber mood with.

“It’s embarrassing honestly, all the staring I get when I walk around with you and your wings hulking behind me. The size of you is scaring the poor citizens of Velaris.”

“You don’t seem to mind the size of me most days. And nights. Especially nights,” he added with a wicked grin.

She blushed, breaking her gaze from his own, snickering quietly even as she stared out at the harbor.

“You’re an idiot,” she finally settled on, mouth twisted in a wry half-smile.

”You still laughed,” he pointed out, poking her cheek as she swatted him away.

They ate in peaceful silence, until a restless urge overcame him and he couldn't keep it in any longer.

“You're not happy.” It was an observation from the past few days. Her face, her mannerisms, her behavior all had him more worried with each day.

“What?,” she asked, startled at his words.

He tried again, grabbing aimlessly for better words to get through to her.

“Doing all this I mean. I don't have much experience as a bride of course, but I think you're supposed to be enjoying yourself.”

“I am,” she protested quickly. Too quickly.

“I am,” she tried again, but it was quiet and a far more obvious lie this time than he was used to seeing from her.

“I just mean, your heart doesn't seem to be into it. Do you not want this ceremony?”

There he had said it. It had been a concern he'd toyed with for the past few days but he's convinced himself there was nothing to it. That he was imagining it. But he'd said the words and Nesta hadn't jumped to deny it. In fact she'd gone silent, looking everywhere but at him.

“We should go,” she finally said, her food half uneaten, lemonade completely untouched. “It's getting dark.”

And that was that.

She seemed to be waiting for him to finish his food but he found his appetite wholly gone then. It was a quiet, painful walk back to the House of Wind and an even worse flight up. Nesta did not look at him, did not dare to meet his eyes, and he found himself secretly relieved. He didn't want to know what he'd find should she look up at him. Disappointment or anger or perhaps both.

Nesta broke away from his hold too quickly for him to not notice it and grimace. But something held her back, one foot in the terrace they’d arrived on and one foot inside the House, and Cassian watched expectantly.

”Can we talk?,” she asked softly, looking back towards him. Something was stirring in her blue-gray eyes and it gave him pause and a moment to reconsider. But something within him told him to agree, and go forward.

He took the few steps to reach her and placed a kiss at the back of her head. “Always,” he promised.

She led him to the smaller alcove they sometimes used to have lunch in between trainings. It was a cozy room, with a fireplace they no longer needed in the blooming heat of summer, and two plush armchairs facing each other.

Cassian sat, stiff and uncertain, but he did it. She settled in across from him and to an unpracticed eye they’d see her move as elegantly as ever. But he saw the faint tremor in her hands, her gaze, the nervousness in all of it. And it set him on edge.

”I didn’t want an audience,” she started. “Out there I mean,” she nodded to the terrace and the world that lay below them. “We’ve done that before and I don’t want to get into another screaming match over the Sidra while all of Velaris watches.”

So it would be that sort of talk. He had to agree though. It wasn’t his finest moment and considering they were extensions of the royal family, it didn’t represent them all very well by public opinion.

Nesta played with an errant string on her shirt, fidgeting with it until he cleared his throat. She met his eyes then and he was terrified of what he saw. Before he could brace himself for whatever blow she was about to land, whatever hit-

“I think we should cancel the mating ceremony.”

The room was suddenly suffocating him. Hot and wretched air seemed to be all he could breathe in and the walls were definitely closing in around them. There was no way he’d heard her correctly.

“What?,” he blurted out.

Nesta’s stricken face told him he hadn’t heard anything wrong and his worst nightmare was in fact turning true. Silence laid waste in the space between them, and the longer it went on the worse he felt. Nauseous and overheated and jumping out of his skin.

“It was your idea,” he managed to bite out.

“I know…,” she sighed. “I know and I’m sorry-”

”Sorry…,” he chuckled, but it was cold. Flat.

He shut his eyes, trying to reign in his temper. It had no place here, he knew that, not when she was trying her best to talk to him as calmly as possible. He knew she was going through something, had known for the past few days. Angry as he could feel himself getting he knew it would undo any progress they had made in the past year. Maybe all of it.

“Okay,” he started again, opening his eyes and taking in her guarded pose. “Can you…tell me why?”

“I don’t want to fight,” she whispered pleadingly. He heard it, the tremble in her voice, and it broke his heart that she was this upset.

”We aren’t fighting sweetheart. Talk to me.”

Nesta curled up on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her satin dress, and her arms seemed to be holding her together.

”I don’t think it’s a good idea. To have the ceremony.”

”You don’t want to be mated,” he summarized, trying and failing to keep the hurt out of his voice. Or perhaps it was desperation.

”No. It’s not that. I mean,” she met his eyes, some of the tension gone, to his relief. “We are mated. Technically. I just thought about it and the ceremony is official. I mean, we’re having the priestesses come in to bless it. I know all about that Cassian. It’s serious. It’s ordained by Prythian’s magic, the land’s magic. It is binding.”

Cassian scoffed. “And you don’t want that.”

”No,” she snapped. “I think you don’t.”

Before he could protest the shocking assumption she moved on, a hand shot up to halt him and whatever he had to say.

”My parents were a love match. Did you know? It was so rare where they’re from, so everyone in their families was against it. But they loved each other.” Her eyes narrowed in contempt. “It was supposed to solve everything. Should have. But when I was growing up, I know what I saw. Resentment and anger and frustration. They were stuck together and they hated what they’d become. My father loved my mother, and I think she loved him in her own way, but they weren’t good for each other, in the end.” She shook her head at the thought. “ And I see that now, far more clearly than I did when I was a child. I know how it happens and it never starts off obvious or grim. It starts off like this.” She motioned a hand between them.

“We are not your parents,” he pleaded, not even sure where this was coming from.

”We don’t know that,” she stated flatly. “And I don’t want you to wake up one day, ten, fifteen, two hundred years from now and realize that we want two very different things.”

”Nesta-“

She spoke so softly he almost didn’t hear it. So soft yet laced with heartbreak. “I don’t want you to resent me. And I never want to hold you back.”

He shook his head emphatically, hoping she understood. “Never. You could never do that. That is not us. Wherever this is coming from, whatever you’re scared of, that isn’t us.”

“It may be. It could be. It’s different for you,” she explained, shifting in her seat, hands wringing nervously in her lap. He wanted her to just look at him, hold his gaze in that fierce strong way he was so used to from her. But she was so on edge he didn’t know if she even could.

”Explain it to me” he said simply.

”You grew up here,” she tried, hands gesticulating around them. “This world, your world, it tells you these things about the mating bond that I have never heard of. That I can never understand. But I can tell from what little I’ve learned, it is sacred to all of you. It is…” she struggled to find the words.

Nesta stood up then, and he was taken aback by the sudden movement. But he remained seated, focusing his attention wholly on her.

”I loved you,” she breathed out, holding his gaze in a tearful snare. “I loved you from the moment I met you. I knew it was only ever going to be you for me. And that was enough for me. If husband and wife was all I ever got, it was enough for me.”

He opened his mouth to tell her he loved her too. That he’d been so enamored by her from that first moment they’d met, that he’d-

“I have only ever wanted you Cassian. But you, you wanted a mate.”

”No!” He shot up to his feet then too. He had to, to defend himself, to defend them.

Nesta ignored it, lifting her chin in defiance. “I don’t think I can ever live up to the myths and legends your people tell of such a union and the bond. Mates are equals in every sense of the word. We are matched somewhat in power but what else? I am not like you, nor your family. I am not good or kind or honorable.”

“You’re wrong,” he breathed out shallowly, moving towards her. She stepped back and it took everything in him to not howl at the motion. To gather her up in his arms and force her to listen, to see how wrong she was about him, about them, about it all.

“You said it yourself, so many times Cassian. I just never wanted to see it. And your family…,” she scoffed. “They’ll likely never let me forget it.”

”They aren’t a part of this,” he growled. “Fuck them. Fuck them all. All I want is you. Do you not feel the same? Is that what it is?”

”I already told-,”

”Do you love me?,” he demanded. “You told me you wanted a mating ceremony and now you don’t. You also told me you loved me. Or was that a lie as well?”

She lifted her chin in defiance, hackles already rising at the bite in his tone. And just as suddenly as he’d seen her temper spike to match his, it seemed to completely disappear. Nesta seemed to turn inwards, eyes downcast. “You said you’d be shackled to me.”

Cassian’s breath came out of him in a whoosh, and understanding had finally hit him.

“I didn’t mean it.”

”Then you wouldn’t have said it,” she stated coldly. “But you did, and, I can’t even blame you. I would not be my own first choice for a mate, so why would you? Given everything you have heard of this bond, in what reality would you ever want to be with someone like me. I fall flat of all the expectations and I see it and I accept it and that is why I’m canceling our ceremony. You want a mate but you would not have it be me if you had a choice. And I won’t force you into it.”

”Nesta,” he pleaded, hating the crack in his voice. Hating all that he’d done to get them to this point. He’d take it all back, all of it, if only to reverse this moment right here.

Nesta did not wait to hear more, see more, skirts bustling as she hurried out of the room, Cassian reaching his hand out far too late to catch her.

~*~

He would wait it out. That was what he’d promised himself when she’d locked herself away from him. He's convinced himself that he should take a step back, give her some space, and they’d try again the next day. Perhaps they just needed to cool off and Nesta more so than him, needed time to re-evaluate. But that plan had quickly disappeared when he remembered the broken look on her face as she’d reminded him of his cruel words.

Shackled.

It took him back to that night on the bridge. He’d thought to wait out then too, opting to see her the following day when they’d both had time apart. And what had it gotten him? A mate who’d been stolen from her bed in the middle of the night, likely convinced he hated her. And he’d never made it right had he? In all these days together, planning and teasing, joking and smiling, he’d never corrected himself. Never apologized the way he’d rehearsed and planned to as he’d made the flight to Emerie’s house the day of the Blood Rite.

No, waiting wouldn’t be an option today. He’d given her an hour and then made his way upstairs.

He knocked at the door forcing his heart to ignore the soft, muted cries he heard beyond it. If he let himself feel it all as he often did, he may tear down the door itself to get to her. Every instinct in him was roaring to the surface and he barely subdued them.

“Go away Cassian.”

“Please.” It was all he said, all he could say, but something in it seemed to have gotten through to her because he heard a murmur and then the telltale click of the lock. A phantom wind opened the door and blew him in, and he murmured a silent thank you up to the House.

The bed dipped as Cassian seated himself beside her, and Nesta burrowed her head further under the covers.

A tense silence filled the room and he heard Nesta grit her teeth. Cassian shifted closer.

“I didn’t mean what I said-”

“But you-”

“I know,” Cassian cut her off. “I know I did anyways. I shouldn’t have said it at all. It was spoken in anger and, Nes, it was a mistake.”

Nesta didn’t speak but she did remove the covers from over her and sit upright. Cassian controlled the urge to reach out and smooth her hair, the lines on her face and her tearstained lashes.

“I didn’t mean it,” Cassian insisted again, extending his hand towards her splayed out on the bed. She withdrew it sharply before he could react and he swore he felt something shear against his heart. Cut and slice and dice him up inside at the small motion.

“You did.” She may have tried to keep the accusation out of her tone but there was only so much that she could do. And only so much he could ignore. “I saw it in your face. You meant it, Cassian. Don’t make yourself a liar just to make me wrong.”

“I…” Words died on Cassian’s lips and he looked away. “I didn’t mean it in that way though,” he whispered hoarsely.

“What other way is there to mean what you said?,” she snapped.

Cassian got off the bed and turned his back to her. His wings twitched with irritation and he tamped down the urge to spread them to ease this edginess in his bones.

“You’re young,” Cassian’s voice shook when he finally spoke. His hands shook and he interlaced them to calm himself down. “You’re powerful, you’re…so strong, Nesta. So strong. And you could have so much more.”

He turned slightly, dragging a hand over his face, suddenly feeling so tired. Nesta did not speak but her eyes were wide, glistening with something he couldn’t place.

“You could have had a kingdom. Could have been a queen with the power you had.” He shifted on his feet. “Still have,” he added on. “You could have had a prince who would have become a High Lord one day.”

He spat out the words High Lord, not caring if Nesta realized that the ire he felt towards Eris was still strong and present.

“You’re settling with a bastard.” He felt her flinch at the word, but Cassian went on as if he hadn’t seen it. “I have no name to give you and no title to share. You’re shackled to me, and you could do so much better. And I hate that,” he admitted with a bitter laugh, “But it’s the truth. And it’s why I was so angry that night. Because I know all that but still I was hoping I could have you. That I could ever endeavor to be worthy of you.”

“You are,” she insisted, breaking the silence that had built up between them. Her lip wobbled but she didn’t cry. Instead she reached out a hand to him, and he took it on instinct. But he did not join her on the bed, instead falling to his knees before her. Nesta tightened her hold on his hand and he reveled in it. Delighted in that reassurance that no matter what, she was still here, still willing to hear him out.

“From the moment I met you, I was falling for you.” A whispered confession but he’d kept it from her for too long. She was doubting him. Them. And he couldn’t allow it.

“I knew, and my brothers knew, and the wiser option would have been to stay away. You were human and fragile and mortal, and it was never going to end well. And I promised myself I would stay away, but I couldn’t. You were so…,” he struggled with his words. There was a band around his neck and it was hard to speak. But he did it anyways, nearly choking. “You were beautiful, and you were fierce, and loyal and brave. Everything you wanted to keep hidden from the world, I saw it. Nesta, I saw you.”

Nesta blinked back tears, holding her composure far more than he thought he was going to.

“I know,” she whispered, more to herself than him.

”I kept finding stupid excuses to come see you,” he chuckled dryly. “A letter to the queens, a message from Feyre, all bullshit. I just needed to see you because I wanted to know you, all of you. Then you fought with those queens and you defended the humans in your land. And I saw you plead with them for mercy, to help your people, and they mocked you for it- I nearly killed them right then and there. Rhys had to go into my mind and tamp down on me.”

He stopped before he made this new confession. Because it would either fall short on expectations or it would heal them.

”It was then that I knew I was in love with you. You are good and kind and honorable, and I am sorry you don’t see it. You were standing up for those who had no voice. You were courageous, loyal, and fighting for justice and righteousness and innocent lives. It was everything I had spent my entire life fighting for on killing fields and strategy rooms. I remembered how many times my pleas fell on deaf ears. And I knew then, that you were it for me, that I was in love with you, and that we were probably going to die in that war anyways, but it didn’t matter to me because I had found the woman I wanted to spend whatever time was left of my life with. The mating bond hadn’t even registered to me yet, Nesta.”

Nesta was crying now, silent tears streaming down her lovely face and it was all he could do to not reach over and wipe them away. All of his instincts roaring to the surface to cut and kill and hurt whoever had hurt her. Except it was him. He had hurt her, so who was punished then?

”And I will never forgive myself for what happened with Hybern. I promised to protect you and I did everything but. When Hybern threw you into the Cauldron, right before you went in, you looked for me. In a full room of your sisters you were looking for me, just as I have always been looking for you.”

Nesta nodded, confirming what he’d always suspected. It was the bond he’d felt between them when she’d been thrown into the Cauldron. She had sought him out in those moments of desperation before she’d drowned in that black water, and he had died a thousand deaths watching her go in, helpless and useless as she fought alone.

“The mating bond snapped, and you went under the surface. I felt you drown, I felt you die, I felt you beg for someone to help you and then I felt your anger when you decided to save yourself and take something back. And it meant nothing to me. The mating bond. I was grateful to it, but all that moment caused you was pain and fear that will likely follow you for your entire life. And I would do anything to take that away from you if I could.”

He lifted her hand, clenched and bone-white in his own, to his lips, and he kissed it savoring the blood and life and warmth he felt under his lips. That she was here with him. Through it all, here she was, this female, borne of darkness and anger and fear and strength and calamity. Still she was here, still she was his, and still she stood tall and proud beside him. He’d never stop marveling at her, at all she was, and all she had survived and fought for to get here.

With him.

Cassian pressed another kiss to her wrist. “I am in love with you. I love you. I will always love you. I don't need a bond to tell me that. Even if we didn't have it I’d tell you the same. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, no matter what. I never want to be apart. I want whatever you want. If you don’t want a mating ceremony, damn it to hell, we don’t do it. If you want to take some time and think, that’s fine too.”

Nesta stroked his cheek and he burrowed into it. That warmth and life she held for him.

“But know that I love you Nesta and I will never resent you for being you. I will never not want to be with you. Ten years from now, two hundred years from now, you are all I will ever want by my side. Know that if nothing else.”

He had never been one for poetry, for flowery words and beautiful language. It wasn’t in him but something in him knew this much had to be said. They’d had a whirlwind relationship these past few months and he knew so much had been left unsaid. Some of it was fine, but some of it he knew had led to distress. To him. To her. He’d had so much more to say the night she’d all but banished him and gone to Emerie’s. So much planned and he’d never done it, never thought to in the aftermath of the Blood Rite and Nyx’s birth.

But Cassian had been consumed by her from the moment they’d met. And every moment after. If she doubted him, them, he had to do something about it.

He waited apprehensively for an answer, a sign, something, anything from Nesta to know what their next move would be.

Nesta didn’t break his hold on her, nor did her gaze lower from his own.

Nesta’s voice broke when she finally spoke.

“I love you too. I always will. I…I don’t know what the future is going to bring and I’m scared,” she whispered before leaning down and touching her forehead to his own.

He breathed her in, sighing with relief as some of the tension in both of them loosened.

“We’ll deal with it, all of it, as it comes. I’m here with you. Always. I’m not going anywhere.”

Nesta seemed to be holding in a sob. “Do you promise?”

He ran a hand down her face, her back, soothingly. She was all but shaking.

“I promise,” he said before kissing her. She kissed him back fervently and they were both out of breath when she finally broke apart.

Cassian opened his eyes and watched her. He vowed, “I promise, on breath and blood, I will be with you for as long as you’ll have me. I will love you for the rest of our entire lives and I will cherish every moment we are given together. And when this world ends I will search for you in the next. And through it all, I will never stop loving you.”

Nesta smiled softly at that, before reaching for him again for another kiss. The kiss could have ended worlds. It could have stopped time. It was just them in that moment, bound by the very fabric of their souls, with the melody of their bond soaring high before tightening stronger within each other.

He’d meant every word.

So long as he breathed, he would be by her side, unyielding, loving her with every moment of their lives.

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kiss-me-muchoo · 8 months ago

Text

𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐠𝐨 || 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲_ in the middle of a ripple in the force, the girl Ben Solo accidentally cursed turns out to be the princess that Kylo Ren desperately hunts.

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬_ age gap (I’m 20, so reader too) Kylo was 29 in TFA as far as I know, fem reader, angst and I think that’s it.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞_ my Adam Driver era is beyond over, it happened in 2020 and were done. But I somehow ended up coming back to Kylo. I wrote this with bad blood remix (TV’s), so yeah… silly little me.

______________________________________________________________

All of Ben Solo’s past was long forgotten. Until he saw two girls in his dreams. A very young dirty girl in the desert. And a lookalike princess.

The dessert girl made him feel a pull to the light. The princess made him want to be a better general for the First Order, to give in everything to the dark side.

And so the time passed. Kylo Ren became stronger, and he was able to see the princess’ shadow. He had never seen her face, or so he thought. This young woman was delicate as a feather, she was gentle, all felt through a blurred vision.

He wished he could talk to her. She made him close his eyes and peacefully rest for the night. So he started trying to find her. Kylo Ren visited every galaxy to see if any of the princesses remaining alive was the girl of his dreams. But he failed continuously, and also his knights.

He just wanted to know her. He wanted to see why she made him feel safe.

…

You let the older’s woman fingers braid your hair. She finishes by scattering some little flowers across your braided hair and smiles at your reflection in the mirror.

“And done.” She says smiling.

“I highly appreciate it, Leia” You reciprocate the smile and stand up.

“I’ll let you finish getting ready, but don’t take too long. You know I hate having late people for briefings” you nod.

“I’m always on time, just let me…” you start wandering around your room, until Leia calls you, and you see her placing your mother’s crown in your head.

“Now you’re ready.”

I’m not a princess anymore.

“Wear it for her. For your loved ones… as a sign of respect” Leia says, maybe you were thinking too loud. You didn’t like being called princess, but most of the resistance did. General Organa could see herself reflected in you. A young princess that lost too.

“I miss them a great deal” you admit. It had been four years. The First Order destroyed your home planet. And you were the only survivor as General Leia Organa saved you.

“I miss her too. But that’s why you have to keep wearing the crown. As long as you remember them, they live” Your eyes water, Leia squeezed your hand in assurance.

“The force will always allow you to keep them close”

“Thank you. For everything…” she nods, smiling again, before leaving you alone.

You touch the crown. Looking at the tiny details. It was simple, undercover and very elegant after all. It was subtle, yet… it made you feel… weird.

The air changes. What felt like a warm sunny day, starts feeling like a cold cloudy dusk. You frown, looking away from the mirror. When you turn, you see a man in black robes, already looking at you, through a mask. The man of your dreams and visions. You stopped breathing, literally.

He was Kylo Ren. The Commander of the First Order. Master of the Knights of Ren. A Jedi killer…

“Who are you?” He asks, modulated and heavy voice that makes you freeze. Allowing yourself to feel scared.

Leia was right. He didn’t know about you. He didn’t remember you.

“Nobody” you answer.

“You’re a princess certainly.”

“I was one…”

“There’s still a crown on your head, Are you force sensitive?” You remain quiet, swearing to be hearing your heartbeats through your head and ears. He sounded calm, but very intimidating. Which made you feel goosebumps.

“No.”

“The force connected us then… Why?” there’s an idea of what was happening in your head. But he wasn’t able to understand it. He just knew you had to be important, if you weren’t doing it by yourself, the force picked you for something big.

“You know who I am.” He speaks again, giving a step closer, making you go backward. He noticed it.

“Everyone knows who you are.” The air feels suffocating. Your room seems to feel smaller, as the man projected inside of it was very big.

“Then you know I will find you.”

“I know.” You try to sound calm, which seems to unsettle him. You pretended very well.

“And you won’t do anything?”

“I’ll wait till that day to think about doing something” he wants to chuckle. But he can’t because he’s anxiously trying to pry more about you. He doesn’t know where you are, how old are you, who you are.

At the same time, both of you were shocked to finally face each other. After months of hearing and watching faded silhouettes of each other. It was rare…

“You should be afraid of me.” He added, walking even closer, being able to smell your perfume. He was now infatuated, totally obsessed with the idea of finding you. You felt it, which angered you. So you took your fear away and stepped further, facing his creepy mask closer.

“I won’t be scared the day you find me, Ren”

And the connection broke.

The sun was back again. The birds could be heard again. You touched your chest, as you felt in panic. You almost ran to the briefing room, praying that time would pass faster so you could have a word with Leia.

About why the force had connected you with his son.

…

Poe scratched the back of his head with his free hand. He was caressing his food tray as he approached the dining room and saw you gossiping with Connix, your best friend.

“I’m telling I don’t know. He just-“

Poe touched you and it made you jump scared. Connix let out a little startled yelp and the pilot started laughing.

“What are you talking about that has you all concentrated?” he took a seat in front of you and the girl beside you. Noticing neither of you had finished the food.

“Can you two finish your food? I don’t want any sick friend again” You started eating in silence, under the desperate look of Connix, who was practically begging you to tell Poe.

“This morning the force connected y/n with Kylo Ren” You rolled your eyes at Connix. Poe dropped his fork and looked at you in horror.

“WHAT?”

“Uh… yes, she’s right” you confirm to Poe, who looks beyond shocked.

“But.. Why?”

“I have my theories, but it doesn’t make sense” Your friends nod. And you just want to forget about the whole issue.

“He’s your space soulmate and the force wants to get you two together” You start laughing at Connix’s terrible joke and gently push her. Poe didn’t laugh.

“Connix, don’t joke about it. What if he wants to hurt her? What if he indeed wants to get together with y/n and worsens the war?” He’s right though. You sigh, focusing on your food instead.

“I need to be prepared. We’ll see each other eventually. I just feel it. But today… is all about you, my dear Poe. You and BB-8 must go and get that map. We need it…” everyone nods.

“Promise me you’ll be careful. The First Order has spies everywhere. One bad move, and they’ll be with you” Poe nods, knowing his colonel best friend was very meticulous about missions, especially when her friends were involved.

“I’ll be careful, princess y/n” You frown, and both Connix and Poe start laughing.

“I extremely hope so, Dameron”

The rest of the dinner flows fine. But you fear, about Kylo Ren discovering who you were before time.

…

Missing. That’s the only word in your head, knowing that BB-8 and Poe were missing was getting on your nerves. But Leia assured you to sleep and let her handle it. Uncomfortable, you went to bed against your own will, staring at the ceiling, questioning why it had to be such a long and weird day.

By the time you fell asleep, Poe woke up. Realizing he was at some First Order cruiser, Kylo Ren was looking at him. Poe sighed, knowing that he would likely end up hurt again.

Ren acknowledged him as the best pilot of the Resistance. Great to start.

“You have seen the map”

“And you have seen the girl,” Ren assured.

“What girl?” As soon as the pilot asked, he unveiled everything. Your connection with Ren, what you told him before talking about the mission. He accidentally gave Ren all the answers.

The map was with the droid and the girl was with the Resistance.

“Princess y/n of the fallen kingdom of Karyn and Colonel of the Resistance” Kylo Ren proudly said your name and titles. He smiled under the mask.

How he could have forgotten about Karyn and how they refused to be involved in the war. He never realized the daughters of the kings survived.

“NO!… DON’T YOU DARE TO HURT HER!” Poe yelled, trying to break the cuffs hurting him.

“I won’t, pilot. You can rest knowing that I won't hurt her” and with that, he left the cell. Only causing great pain for Poe, feeling guilty.

When Ren walked away, and when he turned to some hallway, he spotted you. He froze, there you were looking at the giant window, looking at the stars. You must be at the secret base of the resistance, but to him, you were with him. You turned, encountering him as if Kylo Ren was at the entrance of your balcony. He saw your dark blue dress and silver crown, you saw his hideous mask again.

“What have you done with my friend?” You ask.

“That rebel scum? To your luck, he is in a cell, alive.” You know he’s telling the truth.

“You must have what you need, let him go” For the first time, you noticed your height barely brushed his shoulders, he was massive, making you incapable of feeling some fear.

“I can’t, he’s a prisoner of the First Order.” You roll your eyes.

“LET HIM GO!” You yell, trying to keep calm, or else he will discover one of your little secrets.

“Don’t worry, soon or later you’ll join him. And it will be an honor to have you in my ship, Princess y/n of Karyn” you mentally cursed. He had one clue, he had opened the door to know everything to you. And he knew that you stuttered, being unable to talk. By the look on your face, he knew you were scared. And he liked it.

“Get out of my head.” And somehow, you broke the connection.

But under all the fear, you had one doubt. You wanted to know how he looked under that mask after all those years.

…

You needed to hear Poe, so as you fly with the Resistance to Takodana, you call him. You hadn’t seen him since he returned. BB-8 would be happy to see his friend there. It had been rough days. Your connection with Ren hadn’t happened again. But you constantly saw him trying to kill you along his knights in the desert. You brush away the frightening memory, hearing your dear friend calling you.

“Colonel Princess y/n, here is Poe Dameron. Permission to lead the division?” You smile widely.

“Permission granted, Dameron. Now don’t get into more trouble, I need you by my side after this?” He chuckles after some exchange of words, and he starts doing his job. You love how Poe loved to fly. He had to teach you how to fly a ship yet, but for now, you loved when he offered rides.

Your good thoughts soon are over. You turn to Leia, who’s already thinking the same as him.

“He’s here,” you say and she nods.

“Hide yourself as long as you can. But do not hide your ability to fight.” You nod, hiding your weapon in your belt, under your cape.

You join the fight and you can get rid of many stormtroopers. You see BB-8, Chewie, surprisingly Han Solo, and another boy fighting together and you want to run towards them. But a stormtrooper shoots at you. And while you were able to avoid him, others came out of nowhere. He hit your head and you almost fainted. You touched your head, hand covered in blood. Your vision was blurred and you felt how the troopers kicked you and picked you up, towards their ship.

You were too disoriented to do something, to fight. And yet, you felt him. You saw Kylo Ren carrying another woman. And when he looked at you, he left the girl and kneeled in front of you. Inspecting your wounds. You could hear his heavy breathing. But you refused to look at him.

“I said to bring me the princess, not to injure her” You keep looking at the floor, watching as some blood drops fall against the cold floor. His gloved hand caressed your temple and sent you to complete darkness, losing consciousness.

…

When you open your eyes, you are shocked to see Kylo Ren without his mask. You wanted to tear up, but you harshly refused.

“I cleaned your wounds”

“How gentle of you.” You speak, feeling your throat extremely dry.

“You must be something else. I can see anything, you are hiding your memories from me”

“Maybe you’re just not as good as you thought you were.” He makes an expression that you take as an extremely brief smile.

“Maybe you’re lying to me. Who are you, princess y/n?” He asks stepping closer. You can see his clean face with moles like you. His brown eyes and dark hair. You turn your head away from him. But he places his gloved hand on your chin, stopping you from squirming away.

“All I know is that Karyn fell years ago. Because it was one of my first missions as commander, I gave permission to attack. I remember seeing how the planet came to ashes” You turn to face him in shock, anger in your face.

“MONSTER!” You cry out in anger at his face. He killed your home, your people, your family, and your legacy.

“Let go of that, it would happen anyway. Karyn was a strong kingdom that wanted to remain isolated from the war” You let yourself cry a little.

“I assume it was Organa who saved you” You look at him with resentment, hate, and horror.

“But why you? You must be able to wield the force. You just don’t know yet. You’re being slower than the scavenger”

“So now I’m a prisoner?” Ren frowns before gently shaking his head.

“No, of course not. You’re my special guest. I'm taking you to Supreme Leader Snoke.” He said, inches away from your face. His proximity was making you even more angered rather than uncomfortable, so you looked at him deeply in his eyes. And you felt something as well as him. But both of you ignored it.

“Sir, your presence is urgently required at the command center” Two stormtroopers appeared at the door of the cell. You remained silent and the man rolled his eyes. He gave you one last look and left with the soldiers.

Maybe the mighty Kylo Ren had underestimated you because you could feel your weapon in your belt. And in less than a minute, you were out of the cell. You start moving away, and suddenly you collide in the chest of someone. Another girl, the scavenger.

“You are princess y/n,” she says excitedly. You knew she was force-sensitive, so she must’ve escaped from her cell too.

“And you must be the scavenger”

“I’m Rey. And need to get going. Han, Chewie and Finn are here. Let’s go!” She takes your hand and starts guiding you.

“Who’s Finn?” You didn't know him.

“Oh, you’ll like him. He has helped a lot” You only nodded.

“Did Ren went to see you?” Rey asks you.

“He did.”

“I can feel your connection with him. It’s weird, like you had met him before” You stop abruptly.

“I met him. He ruined my childhood” Rey is about to ask more, but she is interrupted by Finn and his friends.

“Han Solo, Chewie!” You greeted the man that you constantly saw as a kid, the Wookiee that played with you. For some minutes, you felt secure, even happy.

…

The first thing Kylo Ren saw after killing his father, was your face. You looked shocked, saddened, and enraged. You were with the scavenger and the traitor looking at what he did.

He felt your pain and in his rage, he felt even worse, he was desperate to know why the pain you felt as Han Solo died felt too personal. Like you had met him before.

Finn, Rey and you started running towards the snowy forest. You took advantage to start the Falcon and get out of there, Chewie let you know it was ready, but you heard their screams. Your friends must’ve been intercepted. So you knew it was over, Kylo Ren would know your secret, but you had to save your friends. You never asked to be a hero, but you had to act like one to succeed. You remember Karyn thought light and darkness were both the same. They were perfectly balanced and there was no beliefs on the Jedi or Sith.

You fight for them. Because they weren’t able to do so. You fight to keep being free.

Giving firm steps into the snow, they turn to look at you. Rey smiles briefly and Ren seems confused. But you take your weapon out, and you let your green lightsaber join the red of Ren and the blue of Rey.

Both seem shocked. But it takes a twist when you walk forward, giving the first attack. Kylo was taken aback by the sudden violence, but he concentred about giving a clean fight. He starts attacking back, but it seems to be more difficult for him, as it is two against one. Your ways of executing the lightsaber mixed a lot of techniques, which made it harder for Kylo to predict your next move.

Finn was heavily injured, so you tried to get close to him to help him. But it wasn’t easy.

“You and I. We’re connected, you know it.” Kylo says out of breath. Your saber collides with his, and you put all of strength to push him away.

“I can help you become more powerful” you frown. You don’t need that.

“I don’t care about power. I want to keep my freedom” you let your intrusive thoughts win. You remember what he did to you.

“You almost killed me once. Don’t you remember, Ben Solo?” In his sudden weakness at the mention of that name, Rey comes in and attacks too, you feel him get inside your head and the scavenger slides the saber against his face. You gasp in shock, almost dropping your saber.

“NO!” You scream, thinking he died. But you see him moving. And Rey is shocked to see how you rushed to his side.

You kneel beside him, only to see an awfull wound across his face, he seems to be lost, probably half unconscious. His face is sweaty and you sigh relieved to see he was alive. The moment feels soft, and he sees some memory that strongly appeared in your head. He closes his eyes and feels you.

The connection. You hated him, but you didn’t want him to die.

Kylo Ren sees himself as a seventeen-year-old student in Luke’s temple. When he was still Ben Solo. He was training with his friend Weenie, they didn’t agree sometimes, which led to heavy training sessions. The blonde padawan fought so hard, and Ben reciprocated. Without even noticing it, they moved around the area where the youngest kids were training. He was furious, Weenie said having bad dreams constantly leads to darkness. He was about to hit Weenie with his blue lightsaber when the blonde moved. Ben Solo heard a little girl cry, and when he saw, there was a girl at his feet, her padawan robes covered in blood and sliced open. His saber had burned her back and cut the top of her long hair and she was unconscious.

The little kids ran towards her. All of them yelled, “Y/N WAS HURT!” “BEN SOLO HURT Y/N! “TELL MASTER SKYWALKER!”

She was eight years old. He never knew who she was.

But when Kylo Ren opened his eyes, he saw the young girl. He couldn’t believe you were that girl. He had so many questions.

You caressed his swollen cheek and leaned to whisper in his ear.

“You took everything away from me. My Jedi training, my home, my family, my future.” He gulped, his hand landed on your hip, and he felt like he couldn’t breathe. You stopped him.

“Being with the Resistance feels correct. But I don’t believe in the light or darkness anymore”

“I will see you lose this war, Kylo Ren. And you’ll feel what I did over the years” The hand on his cheeks pushed him further into the snow. And when he tried to stand up, you pulled his hair and crushed his skull again.

Rey took you away, running to take Finn and get out as the First Order base was about to disappear in lava.

But you couldn’t ignore the strange feeling in your stomach. You despise him. You were over the scars he left in your back. You try to forget about Karyn, your family. But you were extremely far away from forgiving Kylo Ren for destroying it.

Nonetheless, Kylo Ren didn't want to let you go and you didn't want to leave him alone.

And you knew it wasn't over. It had only started.

________________________

Go and say mean things in the comments, luv you and let me know if anyone wants part two.

#kylo ren x reader #star wars x reader #star wars fanfiction #kylo ren

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